Title: Taking a Break
Author’s Notes: I own nothing from “Breakout Kings” and make no money. No infringement is intended.
This is a little exploration into what might happen if Lloyd followed Ray’s advice from the end of the chemistry episode. I’m sure so much more than this happened, but you know the fic voices. They only show you the scenes when they want to, not all the scenes we want to see. Lloyd/Julianne romance ahead. Not quite smut, but maybe there’ll be more time for that later.
Thoughts are inside // \\.
Smut now exists. I posted a sequel titled “All I want for Christmas” that’s set in my "Beyond Bars" series. The current order is “Taking a Break,” “Comfort Zones,” “Compliments and Conversations”, “All I want for Christmas,” and “Better than a Teddy Bear.” Thanks for reading.
Taking a Break
God, she tasted good. Julianne was light and sweet with just a hint of the hazelnut coffee still sitting on her desk in her office. She was soft and delicate and so damn warm he wanted to wrap himself in her just to keep the cold away. Lloyd wanted so much, wanted all of her. Dipping his head a little lower, he stroked the tip of his tongue against her lower lip. She shivered, tilting her head up sweetly, almost asking for a little more of this amazing kiss with a soft, sweet little sound.
Lloyd wanted to give her anything she wanted, absolutely everything she needed. He lifted a hand from the wall behind her, moving to cup his palm against her cheek to deepen the kiss. She flinched. She flinched away from his hand. It was just a tiny little jerk of the muscles in her neck and shoulders, but he felt it in every single muscle in his body. Julianne was suddenly nervous, anxious, maybe even afraid… and it was because of him.
“God, Julianne, I’m sorry.” He was stepping back before he knew he was even speaking, hands held carefully out to his sides. Lloyd only managed one and a half steps before tiny little hands stopped him. Delicate fingers closed around two fistfuls of his shirt inside the open zipper of his jacket, pulling him towards her hard enough to make him take back that half a step. Wide dark eyes locked on his face and her lips opened around part of a word, part of his name. But he couldn’t let her speak. His world was going to break into a million shattered pieces if the words she was about to say were what his brain thought they could be. “I’m sorry, Julianne, I didn’t mean to push you, scare…”
“No,” Delicate fingers touched his lips, stopping the apology in its tracks. “Shut up, Lloyd. You’re not pushing me.” She looked at him with a mix of heat and nerves on her face. “You’re not pushing me… I want this. I really do. I just… it’s… it’s just…”
Her words just stopped, but her face was asking him to understand. Now his brain was rushing and analyzing instead of spinning out in panicked circles. Two months. It had only been two months since he’d bought her the flowers. Just three weeks since the first time she’d rested a hand high on his chest and brushed her lips against his cheek. Just a few days since their first real kiss. And just moments ago he’d had her trapped between his body and the wall. Lloyd wasn’t a big man, not a heavily muscled thug. But compared to his petite Julianne, he was taller, stronger, and heavier. He’d reached out to touch her, aiming for a hold that could have kept her somewhere she might not want to be. She’d had every reason to panic. And he knew just what to do to make his nervous girl feel safer, and just maybe to do it without losing her kiss.
“I understand, Julianne. I get it and it’s fine, absolutely fine. And I have an idea.” Lloyd held out a hand for hers, carefully offering his fingers without touching her at all. It had to be her decision whether or not to touch him. “Can I show you?”
Something in her back relaxed and he felt his own unknot even before her hand slipped into his with a silent nod and a smile. Her breathing evened out and suddenly he could breathe again too. “I’d like that.”
Lloyd kept a careful distance between their bodies as he led her away from the wall to a simple chair in the middle of the room and sat down. To make sure she wasn’t afraid, Julianne needed to be the one in control. He needed to be in a lower position than her. He couldn’t restrain or confine her with his height, with his arms. He couldn’t trap her against his body. “I don’t ever want to make you feel nervous or anxious. I never want to scare you, Julianne. We can go as slow or as fast as you want, as you’re ready for.” He locked his eyes to her face as he hooked his ankles around the front legs of the chair and closed his fingers against the sides of the seat. “You can touch me as little or as much as you want and know that I won’t push you a moment, a movement farther than you want.” She stopped biting her lip for the first time since she’d flinched. Those lips he’d dreamed about curved into a wide, bright smile. “Anything you want, nothing you don’t. Show me, Julianne, show me what you want.”
“Smart boy.” He watched the tension flow out of her before she lifted her hands. Julianne stepped up to the edge of his chair and rested all ten of her fingers against his shoulders. Just that touch had him feeling warm again. He angled his head back, offering her his lips, his helplessness. “You always seem to know exactly what to do, exactly what I need. How do you do that?”
He was about to answer, to say something psychological , something brilliant, but she cut him off with a soft, simple kiss. Lloyd fought to let her lead, to let her control the tone and depth of this contact. His hands clenched on the wooden edge of the chair as sweet lips opened over his, giving him another taste of heat and coffee. He wanted more, more of her kiss, more of her taste and her warmth. But the only way to get that was to let her go as slow and careful as she needed to. He even let her pull back completely. But he couldn’t stop the sound of her name on his lips. “Julianne, please…”
He knew he was leaning forward mindlessly, trying to get her lips back even though he didn’t let his hands open, didn’t reach for her, didn’t move off the chair. Her bright smile sent another shot of heat through his blood. Julianne was enjoying this. She liked kissing him, touching him. She liked the control he had given her. She glowed with it. “What do you want, Lloyd? What is it that you need?”
It was an easy answer. One that he wanted to give her. One Lloyd thought she’d like, and it was the bare naked truth. “You, Julianne, just you.” A last bit of tension left her body, a tension he hadn’t even noticed she was still carrying. Her smile widened just a little more and then it was his turn to smile.
Julianne claimed herself a spot in his lap, sitting down sideways across his legs and running her fingers through his hair. She leaned against his chest, wrapping him in soft warmth again. “Good, now kiss me.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Keeping his hands locked almost painfully around the sharp edge of wood, Lloyd leaned forward to gently claim her lips, adoring the curl of her arms around his neck as she eagerly deepened the kiss. He loved this, adored the heat of her against his body and the sweet trust of her kiss.
He was always doing stuff like this. Well, not the kissing. That was a recent change. A very recent and very nice change. But Lloyd was always watching out for her, keeping an eye on her emotional state. He was very careful with her all the time. Julianne knew she was smiling as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Even as he leaned in to give her the kiss she wanted, he never moved his hands. Julianne could feel the tension in his arms as he tightened his grip on the chair. He even tried to keep the kiss gentle, but she simply wasn’t having it. He’d done all this to make her feel safe enough to take what she wanted. And what she wanted was him.
“Lloyd?” The wood creaked in his fingers and she found herself smiling at the heat in his eyes. Blue shouldn’t be able to burn, but his were managing it somehow. Those hot eyes flicked to her lips before lifting to hers, but they didn’t drop any lower. In fact he was very careful not to stare down her blouse even now. She was sitting in his lap and he still wasn’t crossing over any lines without her express permission. Even though she could see how much he wanted her. //That’s my good boy.\\
“Yes, Julianne?” His voice was soft, low, and somehow rough. She lifted a hand to brush her fingers back and forth over his mouth. Julianne found herself biting her lip as he kissed her fingertips. She wanted his kiss, but she wanted more than that. She wanted his hands too. Julianne had spent hours watching his hands as he talked and explained. Those long, thin fingers always danced in the air, making her wonder what they’d feel like dancing over her skin.
Up against the wall, it was just a little too intense. But now… here… Lloyd had shown clearly that he wasn’t about to demand anything from her. The slightest little flinch and he had pulled back like he’d attacked her. Sitting here in his lap, Julianne felt safe, safer than she’d thought possible. And she wanted his touch. She wanted to touch him. Letting her fingers trail down his throat to play with the collar of his t-shirt, she fully enjoyed the way his breath caught, the little sound he made. “Don’t you want to touch me, Lloyd?”
He shivered under her, blue eyes falling closed with a breathless groan. The shoulders under her hands tightened and jerked as he fought to keep his grip on the chair. And then he managed an answer, but only one syllable. “Yes,” His eyes were still closed and she couldn’t help but steal a quick kiss when he wasn’t looking at her. Lloyd tried to continue the kiss when she pulled away but he eventually leaned back into the chair and opened his eyes. “God, yes, Julianne. I’m dying to touch you, but only if you want me to.”
He was so damn careful with her, how could she feel anything other than safe and adored. Julianne smiled and stroked one hand down the tense lines of his arm. “Give me your hand.” The muscles under her fingers jerked taut before Lloyd forced his grip open and laid a trembling hand in hers. Now she just had to decide where she wanted those long fingers first. Julianne thought about the look on his face when he’d reached for her. That was what she wanted. “Lloyd,” she nuzzled her cheek into his palm before guiding his hand around to the back of her neck. “Kiss me… kiss me like you really wanted to against that wall.”
“You’re sure?” His fingers closed gently against her skin, his thumb rubbing back and forth over the sensitive skin behind her ear. Just that one square inch of friction and heat had her nerves asking for more. His gentle grip let her know she could pull away at any time. Lloyd would let her go if she wanted him to. And right now that wasn’t even on the list of what she wanted. “Tell me you’re sure, Julianne. I need to hear it.” His eyes were constantly moving between her eyes and her lips. He wanted this, really, really wanted it. But he wanted her to feel safe more, it was written all over him. From the gentle touch of his hand at her spine to the death grip of his fingers on the chair beneath them.
There was only one answer she could give. “Yes, Lloyd, I’m sure. Show me how you want this. Show me how much.”
She’d never heard him make a sound like that one before. It was almost a growl. Then his hand tightened at the back of her neck and pulled her in close for a kiss. Lloyd had never kissed her like this. No one had ever kissed her like this. It was like he couldn’t get her close enough, like he couldn’t feel enough of her. Julianne opened to the hungry plunge of his tongue, eagerly pressing closer against his chest. Nothing had ever felt as good as Lloyd kissing her like she was the best thing he’d ever tasted. She wrapped both arms around him and helped him deepen the kiss with an angling of her head. The low sound on his lips made her hands catch and fist in his hair. Julianne wanted this kiss, wanted to feel more of him, closer. She wanted his arms around her, pulling her in closer against his body. But he hadn’t moved either of his hands. One set of fingers was locked around the edge of the chair, every inch of his arm tense. The other hand held her tight, but carefully. His fingertips rubbed back and forth against her skin but never went tight and hard. He wasn’t holding her still against him. He wasn’t limiting her movement one bit.
She pulled back for a gasping breath and he let her, dropping his forehead against her shoulder as they both fought for air. His hair tickled her throat, his breath warmed her skin through the collar of her shirt. Julianne wanted him to wrap his arms around her and cuddle her closer, wanted to lose the inches of cold air between their bodies. But Julianne knew he wouldn’t do that unless she told him to and somehow that made the cold easier to take. Soon, she would get his arms wrapped tight around her waist, pulling her hard against his chest, against every inch of his body. Soon, they’d both be comfortable enough and safe enough to go further than this. “Julianne,” Lloyd raised his head and looked her in the eyes. His thumb stroked over her cheek. “Thank you… for trusting me… like this.”
“Lloyd,” Julianne leaned in, claiming a quick, hard kiss before resting her forehead against his with a breathless smile. “You know I trust you. You’re always so careful with me.”
They both jumped at the sound of knuckles rapping at the door followed by Shea’s voice. “Jules, Ray’s gonna be looking for you in about a minute. New evidence on our runner just came in.” There was a low chuckle on the other side of the door. “So you and your boyfriend should make yourselves… presentable.” The laughter got quieter as it followed the footsteps away down the hall.
Only then did Lloyd finally release his grip on the chair and rest that hand lightly on her back. “We should go, I want to live long enough to do this again.” Both his hands shifted to help her up off his lap and he unhooked his ankles from the legs of the chair. When she was standing in front of him, he took both his hands back and ran them through his hair almost nervously. His eyes ran over her from head to toe, but in a cursory kind of way. “You should fix your lipstick. I’ll follow when I can stand up straight.” Lloyd slouched lower in the chair and deliberately closed his jacket over his hips.
Even now he was careful with her. Julianne leaned down for one more quick brush of lips. “See you there.”
Someday she was going to straddle his lap and feel those long fingers hold her hard against his erection. She was going to feel his arms hold her tight against his body, feel those hands slide over her skin. But right now Julianne was going to check her lipstick and give Lloyd a little time to calm down. Hurrying down the hall, she tossed a thank you at Shea on the way into the bathroom. The door closed on the sound of a low chuckle and a comment. “So a naughty librarian.” Looking at herself in the mirror, Julianne had to agree that she looked like she’d been naughty. Lloyd’s fingers had mussed her hair and her lipstick was smudged over slightly swollen lips. The smile on her face only completed the image. Shaking her head, Julianne reached up to redo her bun. It was time to get back to work.