Clarke wandered away from the group, who were all reaching different peaks of drunkenness. Jasper was (poorly) singing a Cardi B song while the rest of the group tried to dissuade him. He was on a roll with karaoke, despite the pleas of everyone to stop, for the sake of their eardrums and sanity. Murphy was as usual, ignoring everyone but Emori; and Raven and Jackson were arguing about something ridiculous, while Miller laid down on his boyfriend’s lap.
Clarke certainly was feeling some of the effects of all alcohol by this point. She decided to rehydrate and got up to grab some water from the kitchen, when she realized that Bellamy had disappeared; from his own party. Bellamy had insisted that they didn’t need to do anything for his birthday, but they just couldn’t leave him alone, especially knowing he’d been feeling down after Octavia had left town, on a quest to find some peace and purpose in her life after all the strife she’d been through. So the whole gang surprised him at his house, and even though he’d pretended to be annoyed and glared a bit, Clarke saw the ghost of a smile around his lips, and the way he’d loosened up and laughed more freely as the night went on.
But now he’d slipped away and when Clarke checked the kitchen and bathroom and there was no sign of him. When it finally clicked where he would wander off to, Clarke laughed out loud, because if she knew Bellamy, and she did, then she knew exactly where he'd be and what he'd be doing.
When she went to his bedroom she slowly opened the door and chuckled when she saw him under the covers reading a book. "I'm sorry that we all bored you," she teased him. She glanced at the book he had in his hand and raised an eyebrow. "Although it is kind of ironic that you're reading about talking to strangers, when you're holed up in your bedroom." Bellamy Blake could be crazy and wild as the rest of his friends at times, but at his core he truly was a more quiet, introverted person, who enjoyed his alone time. She wasn't really all that shocked to find him cozied up by himself, after a long night, worn out most likely after dealing with the shenanigans of their friends.
He looked up at her and grinned sheepishly. "You've caught me red-handed." He looked rather adorable, she mused, all tucked under the covers, cheeks still flushed from the alcohol and his reading glasses on. He had still had on the same clothes he'd been wearing but had unbuttoned the top two buttons leaving a tantalizing sliver of skin visible, that was Clarke was finding rather distracting.
"How could you be tired of our company?" Clarke pretended to pout. "Your closest, most dearest friends are here for you and you choose to read?”
"You know me," he said with that teasing glint in his eyes, "I'm basically a young man with an old man's spirit." She laughed at that, because he wasn't wrong, and while she teased him constantly about being a dork, Clarke secretly loved that about him.
Clarke leaned on the door jamb. "By the way you missed Jasper's oh-so-detailed rendition of Baby Got Back, complete with a dance." Jasper was easily the number one lightweight among their friends and had a tendency to put the moves on when he had a few drinks in him.
"A real shame." He looked a little horrified as he imagined how that would have gone down.
Bellamy looked so cozy and inviting and the temptation to jump in with him was strong. She’d have done it without a second thought any other time, considering they had no filters or barriers between them as friends. But her intentions felt different today; she felt bolder.
As if reading her mind, Bellamy looked at her peering through his glasses, "Well? You just going to stand there or you want to come in and hide out with me?" He smiled at her with that heart stopping crooked smile of his, and of course she couldn't turn him down.
Clarke closed the door and did exactly what she wanted to, slipping on the bed next to him curling up on his side, pressing as close as possible. Bellamy chuckled and peered down at her. "You're like the human equivalent of a cat." She smiled and snuggled closer, breathing in his scent, which was mixed with beer because Raven had spilled some on him.
"It's not my fault you're so comfy, like a blanket," she giggled and buried her nose in his shoulder, then pulled back. "And you smell yummy, like," she scrunched her nose trying to think. "Like a guy who smells...manly." Clarke finished rather lamely then laughed into his shoulder. The world had seemed off balance, but being next to Bellamy made her feel more centered as always.
Bellamy looked at her, his eyes full of mirth. "Just how drunk are you princess?" He wrapped an arm around, tucking her closer to him, and she sighed softly in contentment.
"Not drunk," she murmured languidly. "More like moderately tipsy."
"Uh-huh." He said in a tone that suggested that he totally did not believe her.
She pulled back from him. "I'm not." Clarke insisted petulantly. "Could a drunk person do this?" And she then proceeded to attempt a somersault, key word being attempt, as she managed to pitch herself forward, getting her head on the bed, but only succeeded in falling on her side on top of Bellamy, who let out a 'oomph' from the impact.
Clarke groaned and looked up at Bellamy sheepishly, from where she was sprawled on his legs. "Ok so I'm a little drunk." She admitted.
Bellamy looked at her with a mixture or exasperation and fondness. "You think?" He pulled her up off him and she stumbled into his chest, and when she looked up at him, so close to his face, she felt her heart skip a beat, being so close in proximity to him. His eyes were warm and soft, and Clarke thought she might just melt under his gaze.
She silently chanted, He's your best friend, he's your best friend. Best. Friend. Do not. Hit. On. Him!
But an inebriated state added with being so close to him plus the undeniable fact that she was in love with her best friend all made for a very chaotic mess in her head and she was bound to slip up and do something completely and totally foolish.
Instead, she tried to amuse herself by looking at all the freckles on his face, and counting them all. Bellamy huffed out a laugh as she pressed close to his face, her fingers tracing his skin, touching every freckle she could see, murmuring to herself. "You have the prettiest face Bellamy," Clarke said, with a wistful sigh. "It's honestly unfair how pretty you are. And how ridiculously clear your skin is.”
Bellamy had been rather speechless the whole time her hands were on him, but managed to say, "Um, thanks?"
"Welcome," she muttered as she continued her perusal of his face, and gently ran her finger over the shell of his ear, which made him shiver under her touch. Her hands moved down the slope of his neck, and he jumped a little at that, catching her hand in his, and having his warm hand, much larger than her own petite one, had her imagining thoughts that were not platonic in the least.
"Ticklish Bellamy?" She questioned softly.
So maybe she was flirting with him. Clarke was usually able to maintain her role as his best friend and sidekick, all the while staring wistfully at him from a distance, as he went from girl to girl. And sometimes she couldn't help think, How about me? I'm right here; where I've always been by your side. But in the end he was always with someone else and so she'd attempt to have her own love life, and they never seemed to align together at the right moment; never getting it right.
Until now that is.
"Not ticklish." Bellamy spoke, his voice hoarse and low. She could feel the thump of his heart, the way he was breathing slightly more quickly now, and his eyes were dark and hazy, holding her captured with his gaze, almost defiantly, as if daring her to keep looking at him.
Maybe it was the fact that she was so close to Bellamy, her inhibitions lowered for once, with none of the reasons why she shouldn't be doing be this running through her head, that pushed her to take action. She was in love with her best friend, and she wanted to finally make a move.
"Bellamy," she whispered.
"Yes?" He replied softly, his eyes still focused on her, his hand at her waist, fingers gently tracing the curve of her hip. When he brushed his hands at the soft exposed skin at her waist, she felt emboldened to take a leap.
She kissed him then, a soft kiss at first just her lips brushing his, softly, and then more firmly. He made a surprise noise, as if he hadn’t fully expected her to do it, but then he responded back just as intensely, and it was like coming home and discovering what it really was like to connect with someone. Her whole body tingled, the feel of his frame leaning on hers as his arms wrapped around her made her feel secure and tethered to the ground. He claimed her mouth over and over again, hungry and intense, and she pushed him forward, causing Bellamy to fall back, pulling her with him, his arm still securely holding her flush against his body. Her hands wandered all over him, and she’d slipped under his shirt, his skin smooth and hot, his muscles contracting under her touch. The fact that she was actually touching Bellamy Blake like this was almost unbelievable.
He slid his mouth from hers, moving his lips down her jawline with nipping kisses and teasing licks as the hand on her ribs moved up. They were becoming a tangled mess on the bed, an almost fierceness in both their touches to grasp the other tightly, to hold on, and not let go.
With tip of his tongue, he traced the delicate curve of her neck, and down until he found the tender spot where her shoulder and neck met. He moved his hand up to cup her breast gently, and traced his thumb over the peak, making her gasp into his mouth. At the same time, his lips closed over her skin, nipping and sucking and kissing. She bucked against him with a moan. It was all perfect and Clarke felt ready for taking things further.
But in the midst of the pleasure, she was pulled from the haze as Bellamy stopped her, saying "Clarke wait. Wait."
She pulled back, her mouth swollen, looking at him. He looked gorgeous and aroused, but he was frowning now, which didn’t make any sense to her.
"Clarke, we can't do this now." Bellamy said firmly. His face was even more flushed then it had been before, and his hair a tangled mess, from they way she had held him. Clarke was so pleased at how affected he was by her that she really didn't acknowledge what he said for a moment. Her mind was still going haywire, because she just had the most intense make out session of her life and she could still feel the lingering touch of his hands all over her, as if his fingerprints imprinted themselves on her bare skin.
But as she slowly drew out of her blissful thoughts and realized what he said, she frowned at him. "What? What do you mean we can't do this?" Clarke responded indignantly. "You were very clearly into me for the last two minutes." She wasn't exactly sure where things went wrong. Had she used too much tongue? Drunk Clarke had been known to get a little slobbery with kisses. Or was he weirded out by the fact that she, his best friend, had very clearly put the moves on him? Suddenly she felt very cold all over and withdrew from him, but he pulled her back right away.
"I've been into you for a lot longer than two minutes," he muttered under his breath, shoving his glasses back up, from where they'd been slightly askew. He looked adorable and sexy all at once, which was infuriatingly unfair since she was pretty sure she must look like a goblin at the moment.
But when she realized what he had said, she perked up a bit.
He scrubbed a hand across his face, and sighed.
"Clarke you're drunk and it wouldn't be right to take advantage of you like this. I promise I'm definitely down to continue what was happening but not like this."
"Does it look like I'm being taken advantage off" Clarke said, affronted. She was the one had initiated things after all.
Bellamy looked at her seriously. "Clarke no matter what you think you might feel now, I wouldn't push you any further when you're not sober. It wouldn't be right." He repeated resolutely. “I want you, God knows I want you more than anything, but not like this.”
Clarke sighed, because she knew he was doing the right thing, not because she believed she would change her mind later, not at all. But because she knew that getting consent was a serious matter, and if Bellamy wasn't that type of guy who was concerned about that, she wouldn't feel the way she did about him.
She moved off from her precarious position on his lap, and tucked herself back by his side. "I love that you're so honorable but I also kind of hate it at the moment, because I was very much in the mood right now," she sighed.
Bellamy laughed quietly, before kissing her head softly. He leaned down towards her ear, his breath tickling her. "I promise you princess, if you wake up tomorrow and feel the same way, we can do whatever the fuck you want to do." She shivered at his words and the idea of having all of Bellamy to herself.
"Pinky-promise." He said twisting her finger with his. "If you still like me in the morning, I'm all yours I promise." He meant it as a joke, but Clarke caught the trace of vulnerability in his voice. Understood that he did think there was a chance she might change her mind. She slipped her hand in his and held it tightly for a moment, and looked him straight in the eye. "Nothing is going to change how I feel about within the next hours, days, or weeks." Clarke snuggled further under the covers. "And to prove it, I'm staying right here with you, till tomorrow, then you'll see."
A particularly loud noise and a crash from the family room, reminded them both there were other people here. When she'd stepped into his room, it had been their own bubble, and she'd almost forgotten that all their friends were still here.
Bellamy groaned. "Those idiots are going to destroy my home." He looked like he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know what was happening down there.
"Should we go check on them?" Clarke asked.
"Let me think, stay here with you or deal with our crazy, drunk friends." He pretended to think, and Clarke felt warm with pleasure. "It's a no brainer, princess. Anyways seeing the chaos they created will probably stress me out even more," he replied. "I'll deal with them tomorrow. I told everybody to just crash here, if they need to. God knows they love to make themselves at home here with or without my say." He said with an eye roll, then hastened to add, "Which I only like to make an exception for you of course."
Clarke smirked. "Nice save." A huge yawn slipped through her lips, all the activity and alcohol catching up to her and making her realize how exhausted she was.
"Before you fall asleep, let me grab you something to wear to bed." He got out of the bed, and quickly changed his own clothes, peeling off his pants and shirts to reveal more of his alluring, smooth, tan skin. She could only see his back, but what a back it was. Clarke couldn't help it. Those muscles and that butt? Even a saint would have a hard time resisting.
"Don't drool all over my sheets please," Bellamy stated with his back still to her, shuffling through his drawers. Clarke quickly shut her mouth, and then scowled at him, even though he couldn't see her. "I can feel you eye-groping me." He said, amusedly.
"I'm not- I wasn't-!" Bellamy threw a a T-shirt of his at her, muffling her protests. She quickly stripped off her own shirt, while Bellamy pointedly looked away, making her roll her eyes and laugh, and slipped into his comfy shirt and under the covers, with Bellamy joining her shortly. He turned the lights off and then moved close to her, wrapping an arm around her, his breath warm on her hair. After exchanging a sleepy goodnight with him, Clarke almost instantly fell asleep, feeling at complete ease in his arms, and the last thing she heard was Bellamy whispering, "I'll see you in the morning."
When she woke up the next day, warm in Bellamy's arms, she turned towards him, and nudged him slightly. He groaned, but didn’t wake up right away. Clarke shoved him again, until he grudgingly cracked an eye open. Before he could utter a word, she whispered, "I still feel the same, and I still love you." Clarke figured she'd just lay all her cards on the table. There was no going back at this point anyways.
"Yeah?" He replied, his voice still hoarse from sleeping, but there was a grin on his face, and he now appeared to be wide awake.
"Yeah." She murmured back. "I'd totally kiss you right now, but I don't want to subject you to the horrors of my mouth, but trust me I really-."
"Clarke." Bellamy interrupted, still smiling that goofy, ridiculously happy smile. "I love you too. Shut up." And he kissed her, smelly mouth and all, and Clarke thought that this must be what pure unadulterated happiness felt like. Like the feeling of euphoria coursing through her body all the way through her fingertips. He pressed his body closer to her, a movement that was altogether new and familiar. And it felt like the universe was finally on their side.