Kai parked his motorcycle in the parking place in front of an apartment building in a complex that was close to the downtown area of the city. He was visiting to hang out with a friend for a few hours. Being the son of a yakuza boss has not been easy for Kai. Even since he was a child. And still even after graduating high school, it still has not been easy. He wanted to be himself. Kai was a mix of manly and feminine. Kai even painted his nails. Just to tick off his old man. Kai was the rebel of the family. And he loved it. What Kai did not love, though, was that he had to hide a part of himself from his father.
Being in the closet is not an easy task as people think it is. Even in Japan some people still consider it taboo in this day and age. Kai was proud of who he is but if his father found out, it could make things worse. Kai took out his phone and texted a message to someone before heading up the steps to the upper area of the apartment building then walked over to the right side of the upper floor. Kai knocked one the door a couple of times. A couple of seconds later, he heard footsteps coming towards the door before it was opened.
A man appeared. Kai smiled. The man smiled back at Kai.
“Leon!” Kai happily exclaimed. Leon is a man that Kai met at a local gas station while picking up some items one day. Leon is from the Southern part of America and is also very fluent in Japanese and Korean. Leon is spending a year living in Japan as something to cross off his bucket list. He is also about 4-5 years older than Kai. Kai didn't mind that, though. Honestly, Kai never got along with people his age. Especially when it comes to men.
“Hey, Kai! Come on in. I got everything set up for us!” Leon told him. Kai nodded and came into the apartment. Leon shut the door carefully behind him. Leon walked over to the couch to make sure everything was set up once more. Kai watched Leon from behind. And also looked AT Leon’s behind, too. Kai bit his bottom lip gently. For the last few months, Kai has developed a thing for the older man and now, it has turned not only into full fledged attraction but Kai was also madly in love with Leon, too!
When Leon turned around to look at Kai once again, he noticed the look on Kai’s face and smirked.
“Do you like what you see, Kai?” Leon suddenly asked him. Kai snapped out of it as soon as he heard Leon speaking to him and began to blush heavily across his cheeks. But still...Kai was not able to speak back. Leon chuckled. Leon knew that Kai was a gay. It did not bother him at all. Not to mention that Leon was gay himself. He has not told Kai yet but he plans to...eventually. Though, it was not exactly a big secret that Leon was gay either but Leon wasn’t exactly open in Japan. Not because of it still being considered taboo but just because, he never felt like he exactly had to be fully out about it for someone to know if he was gay or not.
Well...at least that is how Leon felt about all of this. Not that he would not tell someone that he is gay if they asked but still, he felt like he never had to come out in years. Kai looked to the side, feeling a bit embarrassed.
“Kai, I didn’t mean to make you feel weird about that. I apologize.” Leon said to him. Kai looked back at him as he started to calm down and smiled at Leon once again.
“It’s okay. It just caught me off guard. That’s all.” Kai said back to him. Leon felt better that Kai was not too weirded out by his comment. Kai walked over to the couch and sat down on one side and Leon sat next to him on the other side of the couch. Kai’s body felt a little warm whenever Leon was close to him like this. Leon set up the game system that they were going to okay.
“What game do you want to play?” Leon asked him. Kai wasn’t sure. Plus, playing a video game was not the only thing that was in his mind right now, though, he does want to play with Leon.
“I am going to leave that up to you.” Kai replied back to him.
“Are you sure?” Leon asked him. Kai hesitated for a moment before he spoke to Leon again.
“I rather play with your body.” Kai thought to himself as he kept on looking at Leon. Leon felt confused.
“Kai? Is something wrong?” Leon asked him two more questions. Kai snapped out of it once again.
“Ye-yeah. I am fine. And I am sure that you can pick the game. I am fine with anything. Honest!” Kai answered both questions at the same time. Leon wasn’t going to question Kai anymore about that.
“Okay. As long as you’re sure.” Leon said to him. Kai nodded back in response. Leon spent a couple of minutes looking for a game for him and Kai to play together. Honestly, Kai could just watch Leon play any game and be fine with that. He just felt happy just being with Leon. It was way better than being at home with his father. After a couple of minutes, Leon chose Street Fighter for them both to play. Leon handed Kai a controller and the two of them began to play the game.
It wasn’t a competitive fighting thing they were doing so there was no competition between the two of them as they played. Though, Kai really wasn’t paying much attention to the TV screen as much as he was focusing on Leon. Especially his toned and muscular arms that were peeking out from the short sleeves of his shirt and his cleavage of his muscular chest that was peeking out from the v-neck of the shirt as well. It was driving Kai crazy . His palms felt a bit sweaty as he held the controller and kept on looking at Leon.
“Fuck. I hope that I don’t get a boner.” Kai thought to himself. Leon was focused on the match. All of a sudden, Leon got excited when he won the recent match.
“I WIN!” Leon exclaimed happily. This slightly spooked Kai. The controller flew out of his hand and hit the wall in the back of the couch. And it made a loud sound. Kai quickly got up from the couch to go check in the controller to see if it was still working. Which, unfortunately..it was not working properly anymore like it was before. Kai felt so bad as he walked back over to Leon.
“I’ll buy you a new controller, Leon. I am so sorry about this.” Kai said to him.
“Please do not worry! It is my fault! I didn’t mean to scare you like that.” Leon told him. Still, Kai felt so bad about accidentally breaking the controller. A controller that wasn’t even his. Leon could tell this, too.
“Kai, it really is okay. I can replace the controller easily. Are you okay, though? Honestly, I am more worried about you than the controller.” Leon said and asked Kai. Kai looked at Leon and nodded.
“I am okay but still...I hate when that happens. Honestly, I was not paying too much attention to the game anyway. It was my fault for what happened, not you. I should have been paying attention.” Kai replied and explained to him. Leon decided to turn off the game. He suddenly leaned back up against the couch then looked at Kai once again.
“Is everything okay at home, Kai? I mean, I know it may be none of my business but...I am worried about you and if you need to talk about it,I am here for you.” Leon asked and told him. Kai took a deep sigh. There really wasn’t much going on at home but..he did not want to tell Leon the real reason for why he wasn’t paying attention and acting the way that he has been acting since he arrived at Leon’s apartment.
“I just hate having to hide that I am gay from my father. He is not really a progressive kind of guy. Very traditional in quite a few ways in fact. I mean, it is not like I try to hide it or anything but either he really does realize that I am or he is in denial about it. Either way, I am not going to change who I am to please my Dad. ..I just wish it was easier to be myself around him.” Kai replied and explained to Leon. Leon nodded.
“Being gay isn’t easy. Especially when you have family that won’t accept you. I mean, I never personally had this happen to me but I know a few people who have dealt with this, besides you. And especially in Japan or other Asian countries where it is still considered taboo to be gay. I mean, Japan isn’t exactly backwards when it comes to that but still, it can be at times. There is no reason for you to stop being who you are, Kai. I am sorry that your father can’t see how amazing you are past the fact that you like men.” Leon said back to him. Kai let out another sigh.
“I just feel...alone at times. Like, I really have no others friends besides you, Leon. Not that it is a bad thing, which it is not a bad thing at all. ..I just wish that I didn’t feel like I was stuck .” Kai also told him. Leon knew how that felt. Back in America, he barely had any friends either. For many reasons. Leon smiled at his friend.
“Kai, even though you feel like you are alone, I promise you that you’re not. I am here for you, no matter what happens. Also...can I say something about your father?” Leon spoke and then asked him. Kai nodded.
“Go for it.” Kai replied to him.
“I think your father sounds like an ignorant person but that’s just my opinion about him. I mean, what kind of man calls himself a father and can not accept his own son?” Leon said and asked another question. Kai did not deny that. Even though this was his father that they were speaking about, Kai did not disagree with Leon. Not one bit.
“He is, honestly. My father is just...I think he is a monster but I don’t want to go into details about that. Though...he is the rest that I become a rebel in my family. Just like my half-brother.” Kai said back to and answered Leon. Leon chuckled lightly.
“I became a rebel in my family as well because of some of my family members, too. My parents embrace it..my grandparents sometimes and certain others family..they hate it with a passion. But at the same time, I don’t let those family members get to me. They were also the same family members who didn’t want me to live in Japan.” Leon spoke.
“Really?” Kai asked. Leon nodded.
“Yep. I have always wanted to see what it was like living in Japan. Though, the best part of it so far really..has been you.” Leon replied. Kai blushed again.
“I am?” Kai asked another question.
“You truly are. You have been so nice to me and fun to be around. I really appreciate that. Thank you.” Leon answered him. Kai smiled again.
“That...makes me happy. I am glad that you feel that way about me.” Kai told him. Secretly, Leon also has a crush on Kai. Just like Kai, Leon was too nervous to say anything about it ruining their friendship. So, for now, both of them were going to keep their secrets about that. Even after all of this...Kai felt a little bit better but still...there was something that was making him feel uneasy.
“Leon..I know you said not to worry about the controller but I will pay you back for it somehow. I really am sorry about that.” Kai told him. Leon let out a sigh.
“Kai, it's truly okay. It really was my fault. Please, do not worry about it. I promise that it is okay. Do not tear yourself up over this. It is just a controller. It can be replaced.” Leon said, trying to Kai to feel better about it. Leon was right. It was only a controller.
“I understand. But now...we can’t play a game together like we planned to.” Kai told him. Leon shrugged.
“Eh, that’s okay. We can play a different system.” Leon suggested.
“I..do not trust myself with your controllers right now.” Kai spoke. Leon got another idea.
“Wanna watch a movie or something?” Leon Gabe another suggested to Kai. Kai was good with that.
“Sure!” Kai replied to the suggestion. Leon and Kai picked out a movie for them to watch together. The rest of the afternoon went smoothly. After Kai left Leon’s place, he made a quick stop at a game shop. Even with Leon telling him not to worry about it, Kai still did not feel right not replacing Leon’s controller himself. As he walked over to the counter to pay for the controller, the cashier noticed Kai’s brightly painted nails. The cashier gave Kai a slight look as they scanned the controller but Kai did not say anything back to them. Kai started to feel so embarrassed because of that.
It was not going to stop him from painting his nails but..it just made him feel like shit when someone makes a negative facial expression or say anything negative as well about who he is or what he does. The cashier looked at Kai once again. When they gave the price, Kai gave the cashier the money and then took the controller and ran out of the store. He didn’t even stay to get back his change. Kai just wanted to be out of there.
Kai got back on his motorcycle and rode all the way back to his home. And thinking about going home also made him feel like he wanted to cry.
“The good thing about today was seeing Leon. As far as the rest of the day, it can all go to hell.” Kai thought to himself. When he arrived back home, he hurried into the house until he got to his room. Kai ran inside of his room and shut the door quickly behind him. That’s when he just sat down on the bed and let the tear flow down his cheeks.
“I just wish that I could just live my life and be with Leon! ...If Leon felt the same way about me like I do about him. ...I just do not want to ruin our friendship. That would be even worse for me than being rejected by my crush. ...I think I am just going to veg out for the rest of the day. I have had enough of it.” Kai said to himself. And that’s just what Kai did. He only came out for food and to use the restroom but stayed in his room as much as he could for the rest of the day and night. All Kai just hopes for is that tomorrow will be a better day for him. That would be great but unless his father decides to start shit...probably not.
Either way, tomorrow will be another day in the life of Kai Sagano.