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The night gon said they would be together

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"I wanna kill myself killua"

Gons entire face felt fuzzy. Why did he even say that?

His best friends eyes opened immediately in panic.
Gon didn't move as he whispered yet another confession.
The question hes been dreading to ask. "...are you angry at me For wanting to do something so selfish again?". Gon couldn't even turn around and face him like a man, he just shoved his wet face in the pillow...how embarrassing.

killuas body tensed, they needed to talk. Now. "Gon, of course im mad, idiot. You pushed me away and made me clean up your mess. I saw you dead gon of course it was selfish." Gon couldn't say he didn't expect it, The truth still hurt though. "But before you get any bad ideas I forgive you, I forgave you a long time ago in the hospital. It was really shitty of you but it turned out ok. We were just kids Gon. I don't know if best friends are supposed to forgive eachother like this but we do so it's ok. I know you've been on edge ever since the dock where we met up. It's alright man." gons body trembles as Killua rubs his back.
"Its alright ok? Promise. Just breathe. Don't ever say that bullshit again ok? What would mito think? You're basically her son. What about leorio? He was a mess after you got out the hospital."

Gons mind wandered as killua spoke, "but would you care killua?"
He finally turned around and looked through blurry eyes
"If I was gone forever"

Why was killua crying? Did he do something?
"Don't leave me.......promise right now" Gon tucked his itchy wet face into the soft turtleneck
"I promise"
The taller mans body relaxed rapping an arm around his friends waist. "Promise what?"
"To never ever leave killua"
Gon laughed
"Killua? You're smilingggg"
"AM NOT, SHUT UP"

 

The night gon said they would be together forever something changed in them.
An unknown understanding of love.