He was numb.
The tears had dried hours ago and left darkness in their wake.
He never realized how much light Loki brought into his world. What most people despised him for, Tony lived for. The sarcasm, arrogance, and deviousness were the perfect match for Tony’s personality. Now that spark of life was gone forever. No more loops to save the man he loved.
He’d lied to himself the whole time, even telling Pepper that there wasn’t some epic love story between them that prompted the marriage. What a fool he’d been. The truth was obvious now, no hiding from it, and he would never be able to share it with Loki.
Thor had led Tony back to those empty rooms and helped him to dress. He barely registered the actions anymore. Standing with Thor and his parents as Loki’s body burned made everything worse. They had their beliefs that Loki was with his daughter but that offered him no comfort. Sure the afterlife would be brighter for having Loki there but this world, even with all its sparkling gold, was as dreary as a rainy day.
Walking back across the rainbow bridge after seeing Loki off across the waterfalls reminded him of Loki’s warning to not fall off the side. No coming back from that even if Loki had survived and been captured by Thanos. A mortal’s body wouldn’t hold up as an Aesitir’s could.
A clarity washed through his mind as a decision was made without him consciously realizing it. There was the faintest hope that there would be another loop to fix this tragedy. Mostly there was just certainty that any world without Loki wasn’t one worth living in.
He fell behind as Thor followed his parents. Stepping closer to the edge, he saw the vast nothing below. Thor noticed him missing and turned. The last thing he saw was Thor’s eyes widening and crying his name as we fell into the abyss.
I’m coming my love.