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How Polycule of you

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“Commander?! Captain?! Hera?! Guys?” 


Eiffel wasn’t panicking, he had just been searching for the three for nearly three hours now, and had nearly resigned himself to living out his days basically alone with only the mad doctor for company when he heard the slightest whisper of Minkowski’s voice somewhere in this wing.


Okay maybe he was panicking. A little. But for good reason; he always got spooked when he couldn’t hear Minkowski’s orders. Or Lovelace yelling. Or Hera… at all. And they’d been gone for hours. It wasn’t like he was obsessed, these were his crewmates and there’s nothing wrong with being a healthy amount of worried about your (gorgeous and powerful) crewmates. 


“Guys? This isn’t funny!” 


Eiffel’s mind was wandering, and not to the sexy stuff about his crewmates that usually occupied his thoughts. Maybe he had somehow been marooned in an alternate timeline that didn’t include anyone but him, but he was cursed to know of a timeline outside of it. Wasn’t that Groundhog Day? Oh god, was he in Groundhog Day? No, shit, this was Men in Black 3. Isn’t everything Men in Black 3, though?


Maybe the Men in Black 3 was the friends we made along the way.


Shit, focus, Eiffel. 


“Oh no….! Hilbert has escaped the brigg... ! He’s all scary and… and European! When will a big, strong commanding officer - or smart and wonderful AI - come save me?!” 


“Oh yes! Very evil! I will be hurting Officer Eiffel now, despite how much as it hurts me to damage such... a strong and handsome man!”


This was not strictly true. Eiffel was in the same spot he had been for a minute now, and Hilbert was not out of the brigg. He tricked you didn’t, he? With his great Hilbert impression.


But maybe… Minkowski didn’t know that it wasn’t true…


Nothing happened for a moment. Then Minkowski’s door slid open at the speed of light and there was a flurry of movement as Eiffel made eye contact with- Captain Lovelace?


Eiffel’s eyes wandered down for a half a second as he realized that the captain was completely nude other than a loose towel and then his eyes were shut faster than he had ever done anything. Something more powerful than instinct drove Eiffel into the fetal position, his hands over his head and eyes and his knees up to his chest as he waited for the yelling but it… Wasn’t coming?


No, there was definitely yelling.


It was coming from Eiffel. 


“Eiffel! Eiffel! Eiffel quit it!” Shut up! Fuck, it’s fine!” 


There were hands on Eiffel’s arms. Warm to the touch, soft.


Eiffel looked up and saw Lovelace looking back at him, her eyes wide. Her boobs were right there… but her eyes. And her arms; Goddard did NOT mess around when it came to training and keeping up on physical health. Her skin was shining too, he must have caught her in the shower. Before she got her hair wet, which was spread out in the hallway like a halo. Eiffel realized this was the first time that he had seen her hair out of the military-grade bun she kept it in. It was magical, ethereal, and very easy to pull. If she wanted him to, of course.




Somewhere in getting lost looking at his… commanding officer?... (That was never made clear to him, if he was honest). Somewhere in getting lost, he had stopped screaming, which was good, because Lovelace was talking.






“Thank you for not overreacting at seeing me naked.”


“No problem, Captain.”


“I was being sarcastic. Was screaming really necessary?”


“What, you’re afraid of someone hearing? In space, no one can hear you scream in surprise at seeing your… crewmate’s legally inappropriate exposure.”


“Are you complaining?”


“Are you apologizing… Captain?”


“No. And call me Lovelace when my boobs are in your face.”


“No, thank you, Captain.”


There was a clunk as the gravity came on in the hallway and the two of them hit the ground.

Eiffel noted the bounce of Lovelace’s boobs, for science. But then his heart stopped as he looked up at Commander Minkowski standing in the doorway of her room.


Also naked, sans an even smaller towel than the one on Lovelace.


“Oh, Christ.”


Pretty sure that came from Eiffel, but the look on Minkowski’s face matched the curse pretty well.


“Well, ladies, I suppose the ruse is up.”


Hera groaned, the first time that Eiffel had heard her all day, and he felt a rush of relief at her voice filling his ears, but his confusion brought his brain rushing back into the hallway.


“Wait, what ruse? If you guys shower at the same time to save hot water, that’s fine, I tried to do the same thing with Minkowski when we first started our orbit but she said it was ‘inappropriate’ and to ‘get out my room it’s only been twenty minutes’, whatever that meant and-”


“Shower? What are you talking about… Officer Eiffel?”


“Oh, you’re both in towels and a little wet and I just assumed that- Oh.”


“To save hot water...”


And then Lovelace was laughing, her smile bright and soft, and then Minkowski was laughing, her sharp eyes soft, and Hera was laughing, her voice filling Eiffel’s whole brain.


Eiffel’s face was getting hot, hot enough to match his body, and with the gravity on, the sight of Lovelace and Minkowski was… affecting him rapidly.


“Officer Eiffel,” Hera’s tones over the intercom made him swallow, his mouth suddenly dry. “You do know that we were having sex, right? ‘Hot shower’ is code, somehow. It has to be.”


Eiffel was quiet, starting to stand. Why? He’s not sure, maybe to run, maybe to go on a space walk. Maybe without a suit.


“Oh, God, Eiffel, you have a child .”


“Look, Commander, I don’t automatically think of my crewmates as sexual partners, sure I think you’re all great but I certainly haven’t thought about sex with any of you! Or all of you… at the same time. Look, Hera can’t even have sex, she’s a computer.”


Hera spoke up, “That’s not strictly true, Officer Eiffel. I feel like you’re projecting your own concept of intercourse to draw attention from the fact that you have, especially recently, thought about pursuing relationships with your crewmates. Even me.”


Eiffel sputtered. 


Lovelace was still crouching on the ground, her breasts clearly visible from where Eiffel stood. Minkowski looked on, her eyes drinking in both of them with a small smile on her face that made Eiffel feel eaten, but as dessert. She was enjoying this. Hera was all around him, suffocating but warm and welcome.


“If I’m being honest, Eiffel, your inclusion has been something we have… spoken about recently. It’s understood that our romantic relationships are…” She glanced from her wedding ring to Lovelace. “Separate.” 


At Eiffel’s raised eyebrows, Minkowski sighed. “I really can’t be coy with you, can I? I have an openly polyamourous relationship with my husband, and Lovelace and I have started to see each other in a more romantic way, despite our relationship also including Hera.”




Hera’s mechanical laugh rang out. “How do you feel about joining in the next time we… conserve hot water?”


“Wait, Hera, you shower with them too? Won’t that ruin your circuitry?”


Hera was fully laughing now. “No, Officer. Please think about about whether you would like to have sex with the three of us.”


“Oh. Right. And you’re all alright with this? Hera? Lovelace?” 


Minkowski laughed this time. “It was Hera’s idea, if it can be called an idea. She accidentally said your name as she simulated a climax, instead of saying mine and…”


Lovelace spoke up, a little sheepishly. “And then I came.”


“Okay… doesn’t seem to be a problem then. I…” Eiffel started backing up and out of the hallway, to his room. “I- will be going to my room to- think about this now. Thank you for the offer, I will… think about it. It will be… considered! Thought about! Mulled over a little.”


“Goodnight, Eiffel.” Minkowski chuckled.


Maybe it was worth being overwhelmed by beautiful women to hear them laugh so much.

“If you jack off, we won’t judge you, but Hera will know!”


Eiffel’s voice was more quiet now, coming from around the corner and down the hall, “Not if I go under the covers, she never catches me there!”


“Yes I do, but I will respect your privacy if that’s what you want.”


Eiffel shuffled down the hall, not used to walking instead of floating. Usually, the rooms had gravity, but not the hallways. In retrospect, he could have turned off the gravity but his mind was… otherwise occupied and his blood wasn’t exactly helping his brain along.


As Eiffel got to his room, he slammed the door shut, missing the lightswitch only barely as he slid down the wall to a less vertical position in the dark. The bed was right there but good god he needed relief and it wouldn’t be long before the augmented gravity would start to affect the currently painful state of his boner.


His suit came off at the shoulders and was around his knees so quickly he would have forgotten whether he unzipped it, if that wasn’t such a crucial part of the process.


He palmed his dick through his underwear, knowing he would have to change them anyway. And the friction felt so good he didn’t want to pass it up too quickly. His breathing was heavy; his heart pounded. And he found himself wishing for Hera, weighing his brain, keeping him company, helping him along. Helping him off.


That’s what he’d imagine. He slid onto his knees in a mockery of prayer, both hands sliding into his underwear and stroking, caressing, holding. He imagined Hera’s presence, her eyes on him, not being able to touch him, not being able to do anything but watch. And he shuddered, his hand gripping his thigh as he heard a rip on the seams of the fabric. He was contorting, trying so hard not the cum immediately. Knowing now that Hera would want to watch.




His moan escaped without him thinking about what he was doing, drawing her consciousness to him, in this state, until he heard her gasp.


After a moment of dull panic, suddenly he didn’t care. Eiffel writhed, his dick throbbing in his hand as he stroked. His heart pounded in his hand, and he felt his stomach drop. Eiffel was so damn close, he just wanted to hear Hera’s voice.


“Are you going to say anything, Hera? I know you’re here.” He gasped out, his vision blurry. Maybe his eyes were crossed at this point? He didn’t know.


Hera made a sound like clearing her throat, and in a tone that Eiffel never expected but always wished for, she spoke directly into his ear.


“Lovelace wanted me to tell you that she would prefer to peg you and suggests that you prepare accordingly.” And then the gravity was shut off in his room.


Eiffel was already cumming; hot wet spreading in his pants, his eyes flinging wide and his heart stopping. The sensation was too much, floating slightly meant that he could only feel himself, his own climax, and it kept going for what felt like forever. 


When it ended, he was gasping, scrambling to find the right way up after his soul left his body, and he pulled the lever to reinstate the gravity, stumbling to his bed.


“Tell the Commander I’m in, please Hera.” he breathed, and either left that plane of existence or fell asleep before he heard her response.