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2020-08-14
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2022-12-23
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What If We Change How It Begins

Summary:

What if Captain America had never been found in the ice and therefore Nick Fury, in need of a leader for his Avenger Initiative, called the person that inspired him to create this team, his old friend Carol Danvers, to be the sixth member.

Notes:

Hi!

So I'm basically re-writing the whole MCU with this fic, with only one little detail that changes as you can read in the summary.

There will be similarities with the few first movies, some of the events don't change but as the fiction will go, it's gonna get different. We will also explore the gaps between the movies, moments where I will be more free to develop the relationships and stories of the characters.

I have a global idea of where I want to go with this, I can tell you we are in this for a long ride!

I don't know how regularly I will update, depending on how fast I am it might be every week or every two weeks.

Don't hesitate to comments, it's always a pleasure to know your thoughts. Leave a kudo if you like it and enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Prologue

Chapter Text

Space was so peaceful, there was nothing that Carol Danvers loved more, beside spending time with her family. At light speed, in a total silence, the planets, moons and stars she passed not even noticeable, she could travel dozens of planetary systems, a couple of galaxies, within a day. She had explore so much of the universe in the last sixteen years but she still had a lot to discover.

 

More than two decades since Carol went to space for the first time, and the place she spent the most time was still Earth. Of course, having her family there was a good reason, but this planet was also her favourite for the landscapes and the air, she always felt lighter on Earth.

 

Earth was the best place to be, she knew it, and every time she went back to it she flew faster than the usual, but what she didn't know after this alert that she received via the AI of her suit was that she was going to spend a lot more time on her favourite planet than she could ever dream of.

 

Captain Marvel had been called by Nick Fury, a man she encountered for the first time when she still thought she was born a Kree, when she was a noble warrior hero, but she quickly learnt that her place of birth was Earth and that she had people that she loved there, who thought she had died. Fury was working at S.H.I.E.L.D, a long acronym for an organisation that dealt with the biggest threats against Earth, alien threats included. When Carol left Earth to help aliens finding a new home, she gave Fury a pager that he would use 'for emergencies only', as she told him, and this was the first time he ever used it. As mush as she was happy to go back, Carol was also worried, if Nick called her, Earth must be threatened, and she hoped she would get there fast enough to save the planet and all its population.

 

The surroundings of the blue planet were clear of any threat when Captain Marvel – who was almost never referred to this name – arrived in the Solar system. She was confused about the why Fury called her and she landed on Earth only because her curiosity was strong.

 

She knew her way around the building that hosted the head quarter of S.H.I.E.L.D and landed on the balcony of Fury's office. Now that he was the director, he had a big spacious office, unlike the one he had back in the days when Carol and he met. It was apparently late in the night, as Carol observed when she saw the enlightenment of this side of Earth decreasing as she dived towards New York City.

 

Even if people were supposed to sleep at this time, Nick wasn't, and that didn't surprise Carol, "Imagine my surprise when I approached Earth and saw zero threat around. Maybe the word emergency doesn't mean the same any more?"

 

"It's good to see you too, Carol."

 

They both laughed out loud as they hugged, they hadn't seen each other in a long time and, even if they would never admit it, they had missed their late night conversations.

 

"Something changed in your look, new eye-patch?" Carol asked jokingly and Fury didn't even bother to answer, "Okay, jokes aside, why am I here?" her tone changed from amused to serious, and so did her posture. Standing in her space suit, arms crossed, she stared at her friend with an insistent gaze, not that he could be intimidated by it, but at least she showed him her annoyance.

 

"I will need you soon, to lead a team," Nick said as he walked to his desk.

 

Carol sighed sharply, a mission, with people, she didn't like it. In space, she learnt how to do her job alone and hadn't work with a team for many years, "I'm going to need more than that to convince me to stay."

 

"Back in 1995 I had an idea, to find more people like you to be Earth first defenders, and I think I finally found them all."

 

"How many are they?" Carol asked as she went to Nick's desk, seeing that he had files that were probably about those individuals, "Six, but one of them is probably dead," he said and gave Carol the files of the six – five – people that would be her team mates.

 

"What does probably dead means?" she wondered as she went through the first file of a man named Bruce Banner, a scientist, specialised in biochemistry, nuclear physic and gamma radiation.

 

"He was a super soldier in world war two. I'm sure you heard of him, Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America."

 

Carol gasped as she remembered her history lessons, "Oh God, yes! He crashed a plane or something."

 

"He did," Nick confirmed, "and since then S.H.I.E.L.D have been trying to find his corpse, or body in case the ice he crashed into kept him alive, since he is a super soldier that wouldn't surprise us, but without success, and the case has been closed a few days ago."

 

Carol read the other files as Nick told her other details about what he expected of this team.

 

It was the one of this Rogers guy, and quickly Carol recognised two names. The first was the one of the founder of S.H.I.E.L.D, Peggy Carter, who was Rogers' instructor in the army and was – briefly – his lover. The second name was another founder of S.H.I.E.L.D, but also the father of a third member of the team, Howard Stark. His son Tony was in the list for being a hero named Iron Man, although only the heroic figure was approved for this team, the man himself was judged too reckless and it was recommanded to use him as a consultant.

 

The third person, Carol had heard of him in space, was a God named Thor. She didn't have a lot to say about him, he was a powerful being for what she heard and could only be an asset for the team.

 

Remained two persons and they were humans with, at first sight, no visible super powers. They were both agent of S.H.I.E.L.D, unlike the others, and therefore must be skilled in fighting techniques. A man and a woman, Carol noticed, she wouldn't be the only one representing the gender.

 

The first file she opened was the man, named Clint Barton. He was described as an amazingly skilled marksman, the greatest of the planet. He had been an agent for many years and was the one recruiting the last member of the team.

 

The first thought that came to Carols mind when she opened the file was not one she should be having towards a team mate, but damn, this woman was extremely good looking. Her name was Natasha Romanoff, she was a spy for S.H.I.E.L.D and in her previous life an assassin for the KGB in Russia. She had a very impressive résumé, especially considering that she was the youngest member of the team. At twenty seven years old, she mastered most of the fighting techniques present on Earth and was one of the best at playing people to extract informations out of them.

 

Carol spent more time reading Natasha's file than all the others combined and it didn't go unnoticed, "A thought on Agent Romanoff?" asked Nick with a teasing tone, he instantly saw that it wasn't just Natasha's skills that made Carol stare at her profile, "she is quite an impressive woman for what I've read," the Captain replied, trying to fool Nick but it wasn't something one could achieve easily, "I heard she likes girls, I don't know exactly to what extent but you could have a chance."

 

"And you wouldn't mind that, me flirting with one of my subordinates?"

 

Nick chuckled dryly, "As if me warning you ever stopped you from sleeping with any of my agents! And they all will be your team mates, you won't be their boss."

 

Carol shrugged as she acted innocent, "Right. But you can't blame me for the rest, it's not my fault if you hire beautiful women all the time."

 

They laughed for a moment, they both needed it, their jobs being the opposite of laughable.

 

Finding their normal breathing rhythms, Carol took another look at the Natasha's file before handing them back to Fury, but he push them away, "You keep that. I want you to study those, learn everything about these six people," Carol was about to object, she didn't understand why she should study Rogers' file, but Fury raised his hand to stop her before she could speak, "I want you to know them by heart, that way you'll be able to lead them right."

 

Seeing that Nick wasn't starting another sentence, Carol allowed herself to ask the Captain America question, "I will, but what about Rogers? If his case is closed, why should I learn about him."

 

"You two have a lot of similarities, but more than that, I think some details in this file are important," Nick explained but Carol didn't seem convinced, "Just to it, Danvers. It's an order."

 

Carol looked at him with a confused gaze and mimicked the military salute, "Yes sir," she said dryly before walking to the balcony, "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to make a surprise to my family, I'll be there until I can meet the team."

 

She took off of the cement-made ground before he could say anything, and flew at a very high speed to Louisiana, even though she was allowed to do so on Earth.

 

Fury wanted to keep Carol's identity and her powers a secret so when she was on the third planet of the Solar system she had to act like a 'normal' person, and by that he meant she couldn't travel by flying or shooting photon blasts with her fists.

 

But tonight, after this meeting, Carol was on edge and didn't give a damn about this flying ban, it was not like people could see her, she was going so fast that the human eye could not detect her.

 

Carol arrived to New Orleans and went straight to the couch of her best friend's – Maria – house. After tossing the files on the coffee table with a loud sigh, she laid down and fell asleep almost instantly.

 

At dawn, the sound of a coffee maker running awakened the Captain. Carol groaned as she rubbed her eyes and, when her sight was finally less blurry, she saw Maria coming her way with a two cups of coffee, "Old habits die hard huh?" Carol said with a husky voice, referring to the fact that Maria always woke up as the sun started rising in the sky.

 

Handing Carol a cup, Maria chuckled, "And you coming here unannounced, can we talk 'bout that?"

 

"I didn't know I was coming until like six hours ago!" Carol retorted and this got Maria's attention, "Do tell."

 

Carol nodded toward the pile of files that Maria took as the Captain explained, "Nick used the pager to give me this. He wants me to be the leader of a team made up by these people."

 

Maria took her eyes off the papers and saw Carol's annoyed face, "And what's wrong with that?" she asked before going back to her reading.

 

"I don't know, I just don't feel like doing it, but at least I'll be more here with you."

 

Maria gave the files back to her best friend after a quick analyse of each member and Carol took Natasha Romanoff's file out of the pile, looking at the front page once again, "What's this one's story?" Maria asked, curious to know why this person seemed to attract Carol.

 

"Nothing much. It's just that she has been through a lot for her age, kinda like-"

 

"Like you," Maria interrupted, "Yeah, that's what I thought when I saw her file. And she is cute."

 

Carol looked at her best friend with wide eyes, "Please, not you too."

 

"I ain't saying anything, just stating facts."

 

Carol scoffed as she shook her head, "Sure, facts."

 

"Don't even try to convince me that you don't think she's good looking."

 

Annoyed by this conversation, Carol thought it was better to give in, "She is, yes. Happy now!" she said loudly as she walked to the kitchen to put her cup in the dish washer, hoping Maria would drop the subject, but of course she didn't, "You know, finding someone attractive is the first step to romance, maybe you will finally allow yourself to find the love with this woman."

 

"I can't believe we are having this conversation," Carol began as she went back to the living room, "You realise you are skipping a lot of steps, you are talking about a relationship when I didn't even meet this woman. And you know my agenda always come in the way of that at some point, it's pointless to even try."

 

Maria laughed out loud at Carol and it took all her willpower not to just go out in the garden and fly away, "You never even tried to make it work, Carol. And yes, I'm skipping steps but that's because you are like that, you get attached to people way faster than the norm."

 

"I'm aware of that, thank you very much. Now can we not talk about it any more?" It was a rhetorical question but Maria still nodded in agreement, yet she was not finished talking about this red haired woman Carol was going to team up with, "I swear that if you and this Natasha woman ever end up in a relationship, I will make your life a living hell. For at least a week you'd be at my service, it's not debatable!"

 

"Deal!" Carol replied in a second before slouching onto the couch.

 

She sat there, still in her combat suit and stared at the ceiling for some time, thinking about details she read in her soon-to-be team's files, mostly details about one Russian born spy, before her attention went back to her best friend, "Can we go see Monica soon?" she asked with a soft tone, a big change from the earlier conversation, "I sent her a text, she is coming for lunch."

 

"Great," Carol replied before sitting up, she leaned on her elbows and opened Steve Rogers' file. Since she apparently didn't have a choice about leading this team or not, she might as well do it correctly, for the greater good of the Earth and the success of Fury's Avenger Initiative.

Chapter 2: First mission

Chapter Text

As much as it annoyed her, Carol did what she was asked and studied the files of her team. Three of them stand out from the others, Stark's, Rogers's and Natasha's.

 

Tony Stark, apart from being publicly a superhero but also an ex asshole who sold weapons to terrorists, he had a difficult childhood, to what Carol could relate.

 

Growing up as a girl in the sixties and a young woman in the seventies had been quite hard for Carol. Her father wasn't the definition of a good father, he was mentally abusive towards Carol's brothers and was even worse with her. Hopefully, Carol was a resourceful young person and found her way without the help of her parents, joined the air force and became one of the best pilots of her base before all her life changed with the Kree abducting her.

 

She also identified herself a little in the way agent Romanoff described Tony Stark, volatile, arrogant, full of himself, because she was taught to be like that by the Kree, even if it wasn't in her very nature, it managed to get under her skin and stuck in her DNA. However, she was capable to admit when she was wrong, which rarely happened, unlike him who reportedly couldn't. This could be Tony's worst flaw for the team, and Carol for sure would have to deal with it at some point but it didn't scare her, she dealt with worse than Stark's ego in her life.

 

It was hard for Carol to admit it, but Steve Rogers's file had been interesting to read. The thing about Captain America, not that much, he wasn't even a real Captain, but the rest of his life, when he was just a boy from Brooklyn, that was great to read.

 

What Carol noted was his friendship with a guy named James Barnes, who died on a mission with Rogers when he was Captain America. That's something Carol could see herself doing, follow her best friend everywhere and sacrifice herself for them to succeed.

 

The last file was so big it barely went in the fold, Carol even thought that some parts of Thor's file – which was the smallest, surely because of the lack of information S.H.I.E.L.D had about the God of thunder – had been put in Natasha's.

 

But no, all of it was hers, all those reports of missions, assassinations, and more were her doing. She was still so young, Carol thought, not even thirty years old but she had lived so much already, almost too much, just like her.

 

It horrified Carol to read all the stuff Natasha went through when she was young and she even wonder how the red haired spy could still live a decent life after all of it. Maybe she wasn't living a decent life, that was more likely. Natasha surely was holding back her emotions all the time and had nightmares every time she tried to sleep. It wasn't in the file but Carol could assume it was true, and she would find out one day, when Fury would finally call her to meet the team.

 

What Carol didn't expect was that she would spend six months at Maria's house with absolutely zero news from Nick. She tried to contact him, and so did Maria, but he never answered the calls. Carol even thought about going back to space, there had to be a planet that needed her but it didn't feel right to leave like that, to give up on Earth and the responsibilities Fury gave to Carol.

 

So she stayed, and to occupy herself she read the files, a lot, until she could recite them all by heart, even the novel that was Natasha's. She had read it so many times, but it was always the file she would go back to, and every time it hurt to imagine Natasha going through all that.

 

Only after eight months, Carol got news from Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D, in a none expected way.

 

She got awakened in the middle of the night by the sound of an engine. It wasn't a helicopter nor a plane, it couldn't land in Maria's garden anyway. She walked out of the house, closely followed by Maria, and saw Phil Coulson approaching, stepping out of a Quinjet.

 

Carol hadn't seen him in years but he barely changed, apart from the fact that he was not a rookie anymore, "We have a situation, you are needed immediately," he said, not even saying hello.

 

Carol blinked, she thought she would have an opportunity to meet her team before have to go fight with them, "Let me get my suit and I'll-"

 

"We have a new one for you, there's no time to waste."

 

Not asking more question, Carol said a quick goodbye to Maria before following Coulson, "Eh, Carol!" Maria shouted so her best friend could hear her despite the sound of the engine, "don't forget what I said about that agent!" Carol rolled her eyes as she waved at her one last time before the pilot closed the door of the quinjet.

 

Inside, Carol quickly found where she was supposed to sit, "Director Fury asked that you have the files, in case you needed a last minute re-read. For now we just have Bruce Banner and Agent Romanoff, Tony Stark is on his way."

 

"What about Barton?" Carol asked, knowing he was an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D as well and so should be with Natasha, "He has been compromised."

 

"What does that mean?" Carol's tone highlighted perfectly how she felt, she hated secrets and that was what Coulson was keeping, which tremendously irritated her, "If you don't tell me the whole story I can't do my job correctly so tell me."

 

He showed her everything S.H.I.E.L.D had on a holographic screen. Loki, who Carol knew for being the God of mischiefs and the brother of a member of the team, Thor, had stolen the Tesseract, object that indirectly gave Carol her powers. What he wanted to do with it was still unknown but he also corrupted a few agents, including Clint Barton, with a magical sceptre before leaving.

 

They didn't know more yet, Loki's intentions with the Tesseract were a mystery and the only thing S.H.I.E.L.D could do right now was to try and find it.

 

Carol dived back into Steve Rogers's file, knowing that he encountered the Tesseract in his life, maybe she could find something that would explain for what Loki stole it.

 

Seeing her reading Captain America's file, Coulson couldn't stop himself from asking, "Were you a fan?" Carol looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed, not understanding the question, "Captain America, when you were young, were you a fan of him?"

 

Carol shook her head as she covered it with her hand, Coulson was a man, there was no doubt, "I wouldn't have thought you were a fan yourself when we met," Carol teased, reminding both of them of the time Carol – who was still named Vers at the time – ran into young Phil Coulson, his gun pointed at her, in the facilities of Pegasus, "and to answer you, no I wasn't, but my brother Steve liked him and the fact that they share a name was one of the most annoying thing in my childhood."

 

"Well, Captain America's really name is actually Steven but everybody called him Steve."

 

"Oh Lord, you are worse than he ever was," Carol said, clapping her hands in amusement, "I have trading cards as well, I'm not kidding about this!" Phil replied, showing Carol the said-cards.

 

Carol looked at the set of cards, doing her best not to laugh as she saw how serious Coulson was about it, it wouldn't be nice of her to mock him, to each their own passion. She gave the cards back to their owner and took the files, Natasha's being the one that she mindlessly started reading.

 

"Director Fury gave you her whole file? You are probably the only one who read it."

 

Carol eventually got her nose out of the file and looked at Coulson, realising what he said and it intrigued her, "Why?" she asked, and Coulson glanced at the papers in her hands, "I guess you and Director Fury are the only ones to know."

 

Carol nodded as her eyes fell on the picture of Natasha once again, still wondering how the red haired spy survived all the things listed in the file. She tried, but for the rest of the flight Carol couldn't get her gaze to look away, she kept reading this file that she had already read dozens, maybe a hundred time and each words made her more impatient to meet this Natasha Romanoff.

 

What Carol didn't expect was that Natasha would be there, welcoming her when she and Coulson stepped out of the quinjet, "Agent Romanoff, Captain Danvers," he said to introduce the two women of the team, "You are needed on the bridge, they are starting the face-trace," Natasha told Coulson before getting her attention to Carol, "Hi."

 

Carol lost herself in the other woman's features for a few seconds. From her jawline to eyes, lips to her hair, she was what Carol defined as perfect.

 

She cleared her throat as she realised she was staring, "Nice to meet you," she finally replied, noticing that Natasha wasn't looking at her anymore, but behind her, "They gave you some reading," the redhead started as they walked away from the quinjet, towards the edge of what Carol knew was a helicarrier.

 

"Nick told me I'd lead a team, I gotta be informed."

 

Natasha scoffed discreetly, "Yeah, some of the people he wants to be in that team have quite some life experience," she stated, and Carol knew that Natasha was talking about herself.

 

Carol didn't reply to this, her attention getting drawn by someone she had seen before, but only in a picture, "Dr. Banner!" she exclaimed and the man, at first confused and lost, saw the two women and walked toward them, "Captain Danvers, right?"

 

"Yeah," Carol replied as she shook his hand, "I heard you could find the Tesseract."

 

"Is that the only thing you heard about me?" he asked, referring about his ability to turn into a destructive giant impossible to be controlled.

 

"It's the only thing that matters right now," Carol assured, if it was possible to avoid this option of unleashing the Hulk, as his second personality was called, they would for sure do it.

 

"Right, um…" he stuttered, his eyes wandering around, "must be familiar for you all this," he added, waving at the planes, "are you allowed to fly one of these."

 

Carol chuckled, "Not sure I still have the skills to fly them, but I don't think I need that to fly, right agent Romanoff?" she turned and saw Natasha stepping closer, her hand still on her earpiece, "Captain Danvers is right, you might want to step inside in a minute. It's going to get a little hard to breathe."

 

Carol gazed at Natasha and smirked, understanding what she meant and suddenly, noises for engines starting came out of each side of the platform. Dr. Banner looked around and walked to the edge of the desk, followed by Carol who smiled as she saw the turbine turning, creating a whirlpool in the water, "Are we gonna fly with this?" Bruce asked and Carol couldn't hold a laughter, "Yep! This is a helicarrier."

 

"Not sure it's a good plan to have me in a flying pressurised metal container."

 

Wordlessly, both Carol and Bruce turned around and followed Natasha leading them to the bridge of the helicarrier. The blonde woman couldn't stop herself from looking around, at first at the rooms that they didn't entered, the people they passed and eventually her eyes fell on Natasha and she analysed her gait.

 

She seemed confident, sure of herself, and that was something Carol liked in a team mate. Having someone who doubt their skills and capacities was a weakness for a team of people supposed to protect an entire country or even the whole planet. The detail about Natasha living after the hell she went through in her childhood and early days of adulthood still bothered Carol, even after meeting her but now was not the time to chat about it, maybe she would be close enough to the redhead – if it was possible to get close to her – to ask her about her past but Carol knew that asking now would be overstepping.

 

They entered the bridge and Carol eyes widened as she saw all those people working together, controlling if the helicarrier was flying correctly. She quickly got her sight off the agents as she saw her friend Nick Fury in the middle of the room being the conductor of all this, "We are at level, sir," one of the agent told him and, without taking his eyes off the cloudy horizon, he ordered to make the helicarrier vanish.

 

"Engage retro-reflection panel," the same agent said and finally Nick looked away and saw Carol.

 

When their eyes met, they both smiled widely, as if the last time they saw each other Carol didn't left angry, "Good to see you Nick," the blonde said as they greeted each other with a quick but tight hug, "good to see you too. So, you met Dr. Banner and Agent Romanoff."

 

Carol nodded as she looked at Natasha, "I did, great to finally see them in person."

 

After that Carol didn't really listen to Fury who went talking to Bruce to welcome him and looked at the agents working on their computers, searching for the Tesseract. Coulson said that S.H.I.E.L.D had control of everything that could record a video in the world to look for it, which meant cell phones and laptops. But even with all this they hadn't find the Tesseract and it concerned Agent Romanoff, "That's still not gonna find them in time," she stated, not only talking about the Tesseract but also Loki and Clint Barton, about whom she seemed to worry a lot.

 

Natasha was looking at the screen of the agent in charge of the search for Agent Barton and from what Carol could see from where she was, he was nowhere to be found. Carol stared at the redhead until Fury asked the latter to lead Bruce Banner to his laboratory.

 

Meanwhile, Carol stayed on the bridge, her eyes finding Natasha as she walked away and then looked all around the room at all the screens. Everyone was still looking for Loki or any of the people he corrupted with his sceptre but found nothing. Carol was starting to get bored and wanted to explore more of the helicarrier but, just when she was about to leave, Coulson arrived and started talking to her.

 

It was always nice to chat with him about the old days, even though they shouldn't be talking about that in case someone heard them, Carol's identity as Captain Marvel had to remain a secret. But when he began to talk about Steve Rogers again Carol wished she could be herself completely and just fly out of the helicarrier.

 

Carol listened to him for more than an hour until an agent called them, saying they had a match for Loki's face.

 

"Seventy-nine percent match," the agent said, showing to Carol and Coulson where Loki had been located, "he is in Stuttgart, Germany."

 

Carol turned around and looked at Fury, his gaze meeting hers instantly. He didn't really need to say what she was supposed to do, she already knew it, "Captain, you're up."

 

Carol nodded and followed Coulson to the quinjet they would take to go there, "Your suit is in here, the pilot and agent Romanoff are on their way, good luck back there."

 

She gave him a smile before entering the quinjet and looking for her suit. She took a look at this new suit, it had the same colours as the one she left at Maria's but was less damaged – because she hadn't spent seventeen years in it fighting aliens – and seemed lighter. Putting it on confirmed it. It felt so weird to get in it after months dressing in civilian clothes but it was like she was stronger in it. There was a tiny S.H.I.E.L.D logo on the left shoulder, just to reinforce the idea that she had been working for them all this time when really she did what she wanted, when she wanted. The suit probably had more things hidden in it, an AI perhaps, but now was not the time to search for those things.

 

Just when she was done putting the suit on, the pilot arrived and started the engines. He talked to his control tower, asking when he could take off and Natasha Romanoff entered just when the doors started to close, "You guys were leaving without me?" she said with a smirk as she walked to the co-pilot seat and buckled up.

 

"How fast can we get there?" Carol wondered, she didn't know where they were at all apart from somewhere in the sky above an ocean. She thought she could just get out of the plane and fly there, but Natasha seemed to be pretty confident that they would be in Germany before Loki would leave, "Fast," she simply replied and the quinjet took off.

 

And that wasn't a lie. Within twenty minutes, they had arrived in the German territory and were soon where Loki was. The pilot landed and Carol stepped out of the quinjet, "You sure you can fight him?" Natasha asked and Carol couldn't blame her for doing so, she didn't know a thing about her, "Don't worry about me," she assured and ran towards the last known location of the God of mischiefs.

 

Arriving to the square in front of the building Loki had last been seen in, Carol saw hundreds of people kneeling and only two people on their feet, one being the person the blonde Captain is looking for.

 

"There are always man like you," the old man confronting Loki said with pride, not threatened at all by the sceptre pointed at him.

 

Carol was too far to just push Loki to stop him from shooting this man, her only option was to blast him. She didn't hesitate and raised her fist in Loki's direction, photons escaping it and hit him before he could kill this man, "so much for not showing your powers, Danvers," Carol muttered to herself as she approached Loki, who's kneeling just like all the other people around him, his hand on his stomach. Some people started to get back on their feet and ran away from the two super-humans.

 

"It doesn't work like this here. It's not one man above everybody else," Carol stated as she got closer, "a woman, why not? But a man definitely not," she added with a shrug as Loki stood up, looking confused, "Excuse me, who do you think you are to talk to me like that?"

 

"Someone who doesn't like when a stranger threaten their planet," Carol replied aggressively, her fists clenched.

 

Suddenly, the voice of Natasha came from the loudspeaker of the quinjet, "Loki, drop the weapon and stand down," she ordered but of course Loki wasn't going to give up so easily.

 

With his sceptre, he fired a blast of unknown power that the pilot of the quinjet dodged. Before he could take another shot, Carol ran towards him and punched him with all the strength her human form could give her. She saw it in his eyes when he looked back at her, Loki was surprised that a human could be that strong. Loki tried to hit her with his sceptre and Carol sidestepped his first two attempts but got hit in the head by the third.

 

The potency of the hit threw her away but she quickly got up and walked closer to him to keep the fight going. Loki tried to attack Carol's legs with his sceptre but she easily dodged it, she jumped and rotated in the air, kicking Loki in the head. He stayed up on his feet and punched Carol, his motion so fast that she didn't see it until it hit her face.

 

On her knees and hands, Carol looked up just when Loki threatened her with his sceptre, "Kneel," he groaned and the blonde replied by pushing the weapon away before punching Loki in the knee. Barely steady on her feet, Loki grabbed the collar of her suit and threw her on the ground.

 

Before she could stand up, loud music coming from the quinjet distracted them both, and then Loki got shot by beams that knocked him on the ground, making him whimper of pain as his back hit stairs.

 

On Carol's left was standing Tony Stark in his Iron Man armour, all the weapons his suit could contain pointed at Loki, ready to shoot him, "Make your move, Reindeer Games," he said as Carol walked to his side.

 

Loki's armour faded away as he raised his hands in the air to surrender and Tony lowered his weapons, "Good move."

 

Catching her breath, Carol glanced at Tony, "Mr. Stark."

 

He barely looked at her and replied, "Captain."

Chapter 3: Meeting the team

Chapter Text

After the quinjet landed on the square, Tony and Natasha took care of Loki, handcuffing him to be sure he wouldn't escape, even though he surely had more tricks up his sleeve and didn't need his hands for those.

 

Natasha went to check on Carol before going back to her co-pilot seat as the quinjet took off, "You okay Captain?" she asked, her eyes studying the blonde's body.

 

"You can call me Carol," the blonde replied with a chuckle, "and I'm fine, hadn't fight like that in a while," by that, she meant in a non-full-binary form, with all the strength that her power gave her.

 

Natasha smiled? Kind of. It was brief and Carol barely saw it but Natasha did, "Good," she mumbled, looking down at the floor with her arms crossed. She stood there a few more seconds and, after a quick glance at Carol's hazelnut eyes, walked to her seat. Carol slowly followed her and observed her as she put on headphones, probably to communicate with Fury, as well as the pilot. The Captain stared at this mysterious woman a little more, almost certain that she knew she was being watched until Tony Stark joined her.

 

"You are strong for a woman," he said, and without even a glimpse at him she could tell he was smirking, "Women can be strong, you know," she replied, thinking she was being smart but then he took a step closer and murmured, "You were born in 1960, you are ten years older than me yet you look twenty years younger, what's your secret?"

 

"How do you-" she interjected loudly, her eyes widening, "I did some research, so, mind explaining?"

 

Carol shook her head, she didn't want to tell him particularly, and Fury would kill her if she did. One day maybe, if it was really necessary, she might have to tell the team her story and show her true self, but for now it wasn't necessary and something was bothering her, "We have more important things to discuss, like why did he surrender so easily."

 

"Apparently you're so strong that he gave up," Tony said with an ironic undertone.

 

Carol wanted to groan at his stupidity but she kept it in her and simply rolled her eyes, "He could have beaten the shit out of," that wasn't true, even in her human form she could resist for long against Loki but she had to continue to act like she was just human, "he has some mean right hooks."

 

Carol looked back at Loki as Tony talked, "So do you, right?" she glanced at him, feeling the subject of her strength coming back, "What's your thing, Pilates?"

 

Carol rolled her eyes again, they had important matter to deal with and Tony Stark was just being Tony Stark, and there Carol understood why Natasha described him as she did in her report for S.H.I.E.L.D.

 

"I totally get now why Fury wants you only as a consultant," Carol provoked, knowing that with a guy like Stark she could only win by playing his game, "Yet, I arrived and saved the day!" she wasn't going to win this one.

 

Suddenly, thunder started rumbling in the air surrounding the quinjet, "Where's this coming from?" Natasha wondered out loud. Everybody looked outside through the nearest window, and, as Carol's sight fell on Loki again, she saw that he was oddly worried of the changing weather, "Don't like the lightning?" she asked him, kind of making fun of him, "I'm not overly fond of what follows."

 

Carol and Tony just had the time to share a confused gaze before something – or someone – landed on the roof of the quinjet with a big thump. Everybody inside looked up, trying to understand what was happening. Before Carol could react, Tony, with his Iron Man helmet back on his head, opened the rear hatch, "What are you doing?" she asked, although she knew she wouldn't get an answer.

 

When totally opened, the person, who Carol recognised to be Thor himself, landed on the hatch and, after hitting Iron Man with his hammer, grabbed Loki by the collar and flew them both out his the quinjet.

 

Tony got projected onto Carol and they both fell on the floor, grunting, unable to stop Thor. Iron Man got up with a robotic groan, "And now there's that guy," he said, walking to the edge of the hatch.

 

"Another Asgardian?" Agent Romanoff demanded as Carol stood back on her feet.

 

"He's supposed to be friendly," Carol clarified.

 

Tony turned back, "It doesn't matter. If he frees Loki or kills him, the Tesseract's lost."

 

He flew out of the quinjet before Carol could stop him.

 

She had to admit that what Stark said was a good point, the mission was to get the Tesseract back and without Loki it was almost impossible. S.H.I.E.L.D could still located Clint Barton or one of the other people under Loki's spell, but if this didn't work and Loki disappeared, they would fail.

 

Without second thoughts, Carol took a bag with a parachute and put it on her back. She would have flown out of the jet just like Tony if she was allowed to, but she had to act like flying wasn't her main way to travel.

 

"I'd sit this one out, Cap," Natasha shouted from the cockpit, "I have to do this, Agent Romanoff," Carol told her, almost ready to jump.

 

"These guys come from legend. They're basically gods."

 

Carol laughed internally before looking back at Natasha with a smirk, "I'm better than gods," she stated and jumped off of the quinjet.

 

In the air with no one to see her, Carol figured she could just turn into her binary form and fly but the people in the quinjet probably still had eyes on her, it wasn't safe to try. It's not like she wasn't experienced in skydiving, as an air force pilot she had learnt how to eject from a plane losing altitude and had had a lot of parachute lessons. The Captain still lacked informations about her surroundings and needed to be careful thus she opened her parachute early and analysed the environment, trying to catch sight of either Iron Man or the Asgardians.

 

When Carol finally found two out of three of them, Tony and Thor, they are fighting. She landed as close of them as possible and ran towards their location. At that moment, she didn't know a good way to stop them from fighting and her reflex was to shoot them both with photon blasts, "Hey!" she shouted after her hands were back to their normal aspect, not all shining, "What the hell are you both doing?"

 

"What was that?" Tony asked, pointing at Carol, talking about her energy blast. She ignored him and turned her face to Thor, awaiting an answer from him, "I've come here to put an end to Loki's schemes!" Thor replied with a loud angry tone, and Carol could hear in it that he was genuine in his words.

 

"Prove it then and stop fighting us, we want the same thing. Put the hammer down."

 

Tony barely had the time to say a word before Thor took his best swing in his head, throwing him metres away, "You want me to put the hammer down?" the God of thunder yelled before jumping towards Carol.

 

His motion was so fast that the only thing she thought about doing was to raise her arm and hope she was strong enough in her human form to block him, and she was. Carol lied on the ground, the hammer extraordinarily close to her face, her arm flexed and her hand gripped at the handle. She looked at Thor's face behind the hammer, he seemed surprised, but Carol didn't know why. She used his confusion to take the advantage in the fight, she pushed the hammer away and then punched him as hard as she could in the face. He rolled on the ground, groaning loudly and got up with difficulty.

 

Both Carol and Tony stood up as well and, when they saw Thor wasn't aggressive anymore, lowered their guards, "Are we done here?" Carol asked and received a nod from both men as a reply. Then, they all looked at where Loki was and, without a word, Thor went to get him while Tony called the quinjet through the communicator of his suit. A dozen of minutes later, the quinjet landed, they got on board and the pilot took off.

 

The flight back to the helicarrier was mostly quiet, only Natasha and Carol had a quick chat. The redhead wondered, rightly so, how Carol managed to stop the fight between a god and an armour up superhero. Carol was evasive, her answer everything but clear, she had to lie. It wasn't really lying, she was just keeping informations to herself, lying by omission was the right term. To her surprise, Natasha didn't try to get more out of the blonde, she nodded and congratulated her, in her away, for succeeding in her mission.

 

Back on the helicarrier, Loki was taken care of by at least fifteen agents, heavily armed and led him to a cell.

 

Carol, Thor and Natasha went back to the bridge, joining Bruce Banner and Nick's second, Agent Maria Hill, to watch Fury interrogating Loki. Natasha offered her service, she was, as Carol recalled from her file, a very skilled interrogator and could for sure get a lot informations out of Loki but the director of S.H.I.E.L.D wanted to go first.

 

The god of mischief probably realised immediately, as he entered the cage that was his holding cell, that it was not meant for him, and when Nick showed him what would happen if he tried to escape, Loki let them all know that he was ahead of them, that he knew things, "Built for something a lot stronger than you," Fury told him.

 

"Oh, I've heard," Loki replied and looked straight into the camera, knowing that on the other side was the person they were talking about, Bruce, or rather the Hulk, "A mindless beast," he added, and there, Carol noticed something.

 

It was almost imperceptible, but Carol saw it in Natasha's eyes, when Loki said these words, she took it for herself first. Her green eyes disappeared as she blinked for a second and then she must have realised he was talking about Bruce and looked at him with compassionate gaze.

 

From what Carol knew of Natasha, basically her whole life, she understood why she reacted like that, but it hurt her that the redhead could think so little of herself. It sadly confirmed the Captain's doubts, Natasha wasn't living a happy life, she was most certainly hunted by her past and living one day at the time, struggling to forgive herself for what she did and trying to correct that. Natasha was living behind a facade that was her job as a normal agent of S.H.I.E.L.D but deep down inside her, she was hurting everyday, pushing the guilt and all these horrible feelings down in order to survive in this dreadful world that broke her, made her who she was now, a fully made-up woman who got her free will only a few years ago.

 

Fury didn't real interrogate Loki in the end, he just showed him that he was in control, even though it wasn't true. S.H.I.E.L.D still had no idea what Loki's intentions were, whether it was for the Tesseract or for what he was doing with those agents, and them, well, they were nowhere to be found.

 

The screens on which they were watching and hearing the interrogation turned off when Fury left, "He really grows on you, doesn't he?" Bruce said jokingly, probably trying to distract himself as much as the rest of the team after what Loki said about him.

 

"So, Thor, what's his play?" Carol asked, even though the god of thunder had, in all likelihood, no idea about that.

 

She was wrong, Thor came to Earth with intel, "He has an army called the Chitauri. They're not of Asgard, nor any world known. He means to lead them against your people, they will win him the Earth, in return, I suspect, for the Tesseract."

 

Carol had heard of the Chitauri, it wasn't an army that difficult to beat, with her powers she could handle it on her own, but since she was supposed to be a normal person, she couldn't, and acted like she didn't know this army, "An army, from outer space," she hoped she sounded genuinely worried, and the look Agent Romanoff gave her seemed to be a good sign.

 

"So, he's building another portal. That's what he needs Erik Selvig for," Bruce concluded.

 

Selvig was an astrophysicist, well known in the science community, and he had encountered Thor in the past. He was one of the person Loki had taken with him, "he had him under some kind of spell," Natasha explained, "along with one of ours," she added, talking about a fellow agent and friend, Clint Barton.

 

Carol saw on Natasha's face, she worried about him. He made the call not to kill her after all, when he was sent to do so, he recruited her, she was still alive thanks to him and was very grateful for that.

 

It was time for Carol to take her role, to lead the team, and she let them know what was on her mind, "I want to know why he let us take him. He can't lead his army from here."

 

Bruce disagreed, "I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. This guy's brain is a bag full of cats, you could smell crazy on him."

 

Carol wanted to laugh, Bruce was quite right but it wasn't Thor's view, "Have care how you speak," he threatened, "Loki is beyond reason but he is of Asgard, and he is my brother."

 

"He killed eighty people in two days," Natasha said with a neutral tone.

 

"He is adopted," Thor clarified and Carol scoffed, as if it changed anything. Natasha looked at Carol and seemed amused somehow, maybe they were both thinking the same. Carol smiled at Natasha and the latter smirked back at her, this was probably the best reaction she could get from the redhead since she barely knew her, or maybe ever.

 

"I think it's about the mechanics," Bruce said, getting back to the topic that mattered, the Tesseract and Erik Selvig's role in all this, "Iridium… What do they need the iridium for?" he wondered even though no one around the table could answer him.

 

"It's a stabilizing agent," said Tony Stark as he entered the bridge with Agent Coulson, "it means the portal won't collapse on itself like it did at S.H.I.E.L.D," he talked about the events that happened before Carol was called, how Loki arrived on Earth via a portal created by Selvig and his team manipulating the Tesseract.

 

Tony couldn't help himself to be serious and teased Thor, as if he won their fight, before continuing, "Also, it means the portal can open as wide and stay open as long as Loki wants."

 

He walked at Fury's control panels and acted as the boss, because this man is actually still a child sometimes, or so Carol read in his file, "How does Fury even see these?" he asked as he cover his left eye, "he turns," Agent Hill replied dryly. She, like the rest of the team, knew that now wasn't the time to make jokes.

 

"Sounds exhausting," he grumbled before using the tablets in front of him, "The rest of the raw materials, Agent Barton can get his hands on pretty easily," at this other mention of Clint, Carol glanced at Natasha and saw it again, worry, but she looked away before the redhead would notice, "The only major component he still needs is a power source of high-energy density, something to kick-start the Cube," Tony finished with a snap of his fingers.

 

He probably thought he was being discreet but Carol caught him when he put something on Fury's computers, a bug she assumed. She could expose him for that but she, herself, also had some concerns about what S.H.I.E.L.D was doing with the Tesseract in the first place and she could feel that Nick didn't tell her the whole truth.

 

"When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?" Maria Hill asked him, "Last night," he replied with an arrogant undertone, "The packet, Selvig's notes, the extraction theory papers? Am I the only one who did the reading?" since Carol didn't know a thing about what Tony said she guessed that the answer was yes.

 

"Does Loki need a particular kind of power source?" Carol demanded, doing her best to lead her team to figure out Loki's plan, "He would have to heat the Cube to a hundred twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier," Bruce said, and even though Carol had no knowledge in the matter this sounded hard to achieve.

 

But not that hard in Tony's opinion, "Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunnelling effect."

 

"Well, if he could do that, he could achieve ion fusion at any reactor on the planet," Bruce Banner retorted and there Carol knew the rest of this conversation wouldn't be for her, "Finally, someone who speaks English!" Tony exclaimed and Carol, well, she got lost staring at the enigma that was the other woman of her team, Natasha.

 

It's not polite of her to stare, Carol knew it, but damn how this redhead was even more beautiful in real life. She tried to think but didn't remember being so much physically attracted to someone, maybe she finally found her type, badass, red haired, green eyed, former assassin turned spy. Weird type but it was quite it, because Carol also empathised with the suffering she endured in her life. She cursed herself in her head for having filthy thoughts, Maria was right, once again, Carol was skipping steps, a lot of steps.

 

Natasha wasn't paying attention to Tony and Bruce chatter anymore as well, and they weren't the only ones, Carol could tell Thor's mind was somewhere else and the agents around were surely as lost as Carol.

 

Before she realised it, Natasha was matching her gaze and smirked. Carol could have looked away, a part of her wanted to, but the another couldn't do it. She was mesmerised by her eyes, that were like emeralds she noticed, and the way she stared back with playfulness in her gaze, that wasn't something that made you look away. With her chin pressed on her palm, Carol softly smiled at Natasha, again, but Nick stepping in the bridge brought her back to reality.

 

The whole table turned to look at him, "Dr. Banner is only here to track the Cube," he said, which made Carol wonder what they were talking about while she was in a staring contest with Natasha, "I was hoping you might join him."

 

"What about the Sceptre?" Carol asked, "Do we know anything about it?"

 

"It is powered by the Cube. And I would like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys."

 

Carol laughed briefly before seeing that Thor was completely lost, "Monkeys? I do not understand," no one could blame him for that since he wasn't from Earth. Whether Nick referred to the psychological term or the Wizard of Oz reference he couldn't have heard of it.

 

They exchanged gazes, trying to figure out if they should explain him and just forgot it in the end, Tony and Bruce leaving the bridge to go to the lab in order to combine their knowledges to find the Tesseract.

 

Fury and Coulson went to their own business, leaving Carol with Thor, Natasha and Maria Hill.

 

If Carol wasn't just a civilian here, she would have gone talk to Thor, asking him about how space is doing, introducing herself as Captain Marvel, maybe he heard of her. Another of her options was to go see Natasha. Her interest for this woman got bigger since she met her in person and grew beyond expectations after this first meeting with – almost – the whole team. Natasha Romanoff was a mystery that Carol was willing to discover, as hard and long of a process as it could be.

 

Standing up to start befriending the redhead, someone had other plans for Carol and tapped her shoulder, "Captain, a word?" demanded Agent Hill. They took a few steps to get away from the two remaining people around them, Natasha leaving as they did, and Maria handed her an electronic device, "Director Fury asked me to give you this, since the communicator on your suit isn't functional yet. You'll have Agent Romanoff and Coulson, Director Fury, Mr. Stark as well as myself on the frequency when you'll turn it on."

 

Carol took the earpiece, put it on and asked, "How do I turn it on?"

 

"Put your finger on it, one click activates it, keep pressure on it if you want to talk. You also have a private frequency with Director Fury if you click twice, no push-to-talk needed on this one."

 

"Thank you," Carol said with a grateful look and, after a nod, went to leave the bridge.

 

"Captain!" Agent Hill exclaimed and Carol turned around, "I wouldn't turn it on now, it's quite a mess."

 

Carol's lips let appear an amused smile, "Understood."

 

Mindlessly walking around the helicarrier, Carol's feet brought her to the lab, where Dr. Banner and Tony Stark were working to find the Tesseract. As she entered, she saw Tony stinging Bruce with something that sent a small electric discharge and heard the latter making a small noise of pain, "Don't take it badly Doctor," she began as she walked towards them, her gaze going from Bruce to Tony, "but idiocies like that could create something you wouldn't be able to control, Mr. Stark."

 

"None taken," replied Bruce while Tony ignored what Carol told him, "plus I wouldn't have come aboard if I couldn't handle pointy things," he added as he glared at Tony.

 

Carol gave him a nod, "Is everything a joke to you?" she asked Stark, "Funny things are," he said and she shook her head.

 

Her hands on her hips, Carol bit her bottom lip, trying to find the best way to address him, "You need to focus on your job, Mr. Stark. We still have no idea where the Tesseract is."

 

"Do you think I'm not?" he rhetorically asked, "Why did Fury call us in? Why now? Why not before? What isn't he telling us? I can't do the equation unless I have all the variables."

 

It was not what Carol was talking about but it comforted her that she wasn't the only one thinking that there was more behind why S.H.I.E.L.D had the Tesseract. She was also relieved that Tony Stark shared his concerns with her, even though their first interaction wasn't what one can call friendly.

 

"You think Fury is hiding something?" she asked, forcing herself to call him by his last name. Over the years they had grown to be close friends and she was one of the only who called him Nick.

 

"He's a spy. Captain, he's the spy, his secrets have secrets," he said before taking a mouthful of blueberries, "It's bugging him, too. Isn't it?"

 

Bruce looked at him hesitantly, which kind of confirmed that something was bothering him too about this mission, "Uh… I just want to finish my work here, and… "

 

"Doctor?" asked Carol, she needed to hear it, that something was wrong. His eyes wandered around as he thought, taking his glasses off, "A warm light for all mankind," he quoted from the god of mischiefs, "Loki's jab at Fury about the Cube."

 

"I heard it."

 

"Well, I think it was meant for you," Bruce added, pointing at Tony, who offered him blueberries, "Even if Barton didn't tell Loki about the tower, it was still all over the news."

 

"The Stark tower?" Carol asked, although it was the only building she saw on the news recently, it could only be it, "It's powered by an arc reactor," Bruce said, "a self-sustaining energy source. That building will run itself for, what, a year?"

 

"It's just a prototype," Tony replied before looking at Carol, "I'm kind of the only name in clean energy right now. That's what he's getting at," he bragged.

 

"So, why didn't S.H.I.E.L.D bring him in on the Tesseract project? What are they doing in the energy business in the first place?" Bruce concluded.

 

These were interesting questions and Carol wanted their answers but, before that, finding the Tesseract was still the priority.

 

"I should probably look into that once my decryption program finishes breaking into all of S.H.I.E.L.D's secured files," Tony confirmed Carol's doubt without knowing it. She knew she saw him placing something on Fury's computers. But then, she thought of something, her file was in the S.H.I.E.L.D's secured files, and she couldn't get exposed like that, not now. She was lying to her team, though she wasn't sure her team mates themselves knew they were a team, but she should be the one to tell them the truth, not Tony.

 

As much as Carol wanted to find out what was the whole truth around the Tesseract, she couldn't let Tony do what he wanted, "You did what?"

 

"Jarvis," an artificial intelligence of Tony's creation, "has been running it since I hit the bridge. In a few hours I'll know every dirty secret S.H.I.E.L.D has ever tried to hide."

 

He offered Carol blueberries but she was not in a mood for jokes anymore, "And you wonder why Fury didn't want you around, huh?" she chuckled.

 

"An intelligence organisation that fears intelligence," he said, patting himself in the back for being smart, "Historically, not awesome."

 

"I think Loki is playing with us. This is a man who means to start a war and if we don't stay focus, he'll succeed," Carol glanced at Bruce, trying to get his support but he didn't say anything, "We have orders. We should follow them."

 

"Following is not really my style," Tony groaned.

 

Carol lifted her head a little, just to match his haughty gaze, "And style matters more than everybody's safety, doesn't it?"

 

Tony looked Carol up and down quickly, "Of the people in this room, which one is, A, wearing a spangly outfit, and B, not of use?"

 

It took Carol all her willpower not to jump him, and it was only because Bruce was here that she didn't do it, she wouldn't make a mess of Tony Stark in front of a nice man, "Carol," Bruce said, and after one last glare, she looked away, "tell me none of this smells a little funky to you."

 

She looked back at Tony and glanced away again. Yes, all this was weird, Fury didn't tell the whole truth, but of all the people on this helicarrier, Tony and Bruce were their best chances at finding the Cube , "Just find the Tesseract," she said before leaving the lab with a roll of her eyes.

 

She walked down the halls, not sure where to go, as she thought about all this. What could Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D be up to with the Tesseract? What was the point of exploring its possibilities when the little Nick knew was terrifying? Carol needed answers and the sooner the better. She didn't want to wait until Stark's program was done therefore she was going to do her own researches.

 

She took the closest stairs to go to the inferior floors, looking for the storage, where things could be easily hidden. The first few doors weren't locked and there were stored regular weapons, guns, riffles and armours that S.H.I.E.L.D used on a daily basis. After a few more minutes, Carol found a reinforced door, this one being the only that was locked. Even if it was heavy, it was nothing Carol couldn't handle with her strength. She could also just photon blast through it but this would make obvious that she was the one breaking in.

 

Carol groaned as she struggled to open the door, the metal it was made of lightly breaking under her hands until she finally broke the bolt and it became easier to push it open.

 

This room was way bigger than all the others she inspected and the noises Carol heard from afar told her it was guarded by agents.

 

Thinking she might needed back up in case she get caught, Carol turned on her earpiece. Maria was right, it was a mess, apparently not all agent on the frequency had to keep pressing on the device to talk. She could hear Coulson talking to someone about a woman, Jane Foster. She figured his interlocutor was Thor since she read in his file that he knew this woman. At the same time, she heard Agent Romanoff asking someone to let her pass, where, Carol didn't get the information.

 

Being a former skilled Kree warrior, Carol easily overlooked the voices in her ear as she advanced in the storage. Boxes surrounded her, nothing exciting for now, just bigger guns, but as she approached the noises of the guards, the boxes started to have padlocks on them.

 

She was about to open one of them when she heard something that didn't go unnoticed, "Love is for children, he owe him a debt," it was Natasha. Whoever was the person she told that, she must be talking about Barton. The part about love made Carol swallow. It was a good thing to know, she wouldn't lose her bet with Maria, Agent Romanoff wasn't the relationship kind of person. It disappointed Carol more than it should, she had known Natasha for a day and they hadbarely talked but this feeling of attraction, in every sense of the word, had been instantaneous when Carol met her that she wanted to explore it, but, by knowing this, she couldn't. Unfortunately, it surely wouldn't go away in the blink of an eye, especially if they started spending more time together.

 

Carol did her best to shake the feeling off, she had more important matter than her love life to take care of at the moment.

 

Without any struggle, she broke the padlock of the box and discovered pieces of armour that have the logo of an old Nazi organisation, known by the name of HYDRA. This organisation was the one Captain America fought during world war two, the one that used the Tesseract to create weapons and S.H.I.E.L.D must be using their models to recreate those weapons, or to make new better ones.

 

Earth didn't need these weapons, Carol knew it, so did Nick. Closing the box, she sneaked out of the storage and stormed to wherever Fury was to confront him about this little Tesseract project.

 

She found him walking towards the lab and it didn't bother her that there were people around to hear them, "What the fuck are you doing with the Tesseract? You don't need those weapons!" he suddenly stopped his pace and threw daggers at her with his only functional eye, "You went looking!"

 

"You know this thing is dangerous, you know how much lives it cost to the Skrulls and in Germany when Captain Rogers fought against it. It's not safe to use it, especially when you can't control its power."

 

"Damn, you've been doing your reading after all."

 

She took a step closer, threatening him with her eyes as she clenched her fists, "Don't change the subject or try to bullshit me. Why are you building those?"

 

"I have more important things to deal with right now. I will explain everything to you when I'm done with this," he said and walked fast to the lab, Carol following him.

 

On the way there, the voice of Natasha resonated louder than how it did earlier in Carol's ear, and considering Fury's face when she talked, he heard her as well, "Loki means to unleash the Hulk. Keep Banner in the lab, I'm on my way, send Thor as well."

Chapter 4: Things goes wrong

Chapter Text

Carol and Fury entered the lab and found Tony and Bruce on a computer but not working on the Sceptre or the Tesseract, "What are you doing Mr. Stark?" asked Nick.

 

"Uh, kind of been wondering the same thing about you," Tony replied, perched on a table with Bruce behind him, leaning against the ledge of the window.

 

"You're supposed to be locating the Tesseract."

 

"We are." Bruce explained, "The model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get a hit, we'll have the location within half a mile," he pointed at the computer Tony brought with him from Stark Industries, on which they would get the results.

 

"Yeah, then you get your Cube back. No muss, no fuss." Suddenly, something appeared on the screen in front of Tony and he asked, "What is "Phase 2"?"

 

Carol, who had been standing afar from them for the whole exchange, took a step forward, "Phase 2 is S.H.I.E.L.D. uses the Tesseract to make weapons," she said with her arms crossed to her chest, looking at Fury with the smallest smirk, showing him on which side she was, her team's side.

 

He frowned, "Carol, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we're making…"

 

Tony cut him off, "I'm sorry, Nick. What were you lying?" he sneered and showed his screen with plans for new weapons that used the Tesseract energy to be empowered.

 

"Did you know about this?" Bruce asked Natasha as she entered the laboratory with Thor, "You want to think about removing yourself from this environment, Doctor?" she offered him with her nicest tone.

 

Bruce chuckled, "I was in Calcutta. I was pretty well removed."

 

"Loki is manipulating you."

 

"And you've been doing what exactly?"

 

Natasha took a step forward, "You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you."

 

"Yes, and I'm not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy. I'd like to know why S.H.I.E.L.D. is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction," Bruce demanded, glancing from Fury to Natasha to Fury again, the people who had the answers in his mind. Carol was sure that Natasha didn't have them though, or if she did Fury wasn't the one who gave them to her. A plan like that, only a few people in S.H.I.E.L.D must have heard of, and from her file, Natasha wasn't someone that was fully trusted yet.

 

"Because of him," Nick told Bruce as he pointed at Thor.

 

Carol did her best not to laugh. Fury was using the Asgardian card as his defence as if he hadn't known there were aliens threatening Earth since 1995. Thor landing on Earth a year ago wasn't the first time Nick had encountered extraterrestrial beings but pretending that it was the case protected Carol's secret.

 

Still, if he had wanted to make weapons powerful enough to defend the Earth, he could have done it before.

 

"Me?" asked Thor, offended.

 

"Last year, Earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that levelled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone but we are hopelessly, hilariously, outgunned," he finished his sentence by looking at Carol, surely asking her to take his side but she wasn't going to help him on this one, she was against this project and would stand with her team.

 

"My people want nothing but peace with your planet," Thor told them, hopelessly trying to prove that he and the Asgardians were not bad.

 

"But you're not the only people out there, are you? And you're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched, that can't be controlled."

 

Carol wanted to laugh again. It was like Fury wanted to show her that he didn't need her to defend Earth from foreign threats, yet it was her job. It was even more stupid of him to do that when she specifically gave him what he needed to call her in case Earth was threatened. He somehow changed with the years, became distrustful, even of his own friends. You never completely know other people, she thought, and here it was the case, she didn't know him anymore.

 

In the end, she couldn't help herself and scoffed, "Yeah, like you control the Tesseract."

 

"Your work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it, and his allies. It is a signal to all the realms that the Earth is ready for a higher form of war," Thor explained.

 

"A higher form?" asked Carol even though she knew what he meant, she once saved Earth from this kind of war, when Ronan the accuser wanted to wipe the planet off the map.

 

"You forced our hand," Fury said, "We had to come up with something."

 

"A nuclear deterrent. Because that always calms everything right down," Tony replied with his classic sarcastic undertone, "Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark."

 

This time Carol let out a laughter at Fury's hypocrisy. Attacking Tony Stark really wasn't the best way to address him and she felt like she had to step in and defend him, "I'm sure if he still made weapons, Stark would-"

 

Tony cut her off before she could finish her sentence, "Wait! Hold on. How is this now about me?"

 

He had some nerves to pretend he didn't think his person was the centre of the universe, Carol thought, "I'm sorry, isn't everything?" She asked him, anger growing bigger and bigger inside her.

 

They all started to argue, Carol with Tony, Fury and Natasha against Thor and Bruce. It became impossible for the blonde to think and she felt like she was going to explode. If she had known back when Nick told her about this idea of a team to defend Earth that he had so many secrets he wouldn't tell her, she definitely would have said no and flown back to space.

 

She had been naive to believe he would tell her everything, like Tony said, Fury was the spy. He played her when they met and it almost cost them their lives and he did it again.

 

After ending the conversation with Tony, that led nowhere, Carol listened to Thor, "You speak of control, yet you court chaos."

 

"That's his MO, isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team?" We are supposed to be, Carol thought, "No, we're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're a time bomb."

 

"You need to step away," Fury said to Bruce who was dangerously getting close to Loki's sceptre.

 

"Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?" Tony joked as he patted Carol's shoulder. She pushed his arm away and glared at him, "You know damn well why. Back off!"

 

"I'm starting to want you to make me."

 

Carol scoffed, "I can take you anytime, and I'm talking about Iron Man. What are you without that?"

 

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist," Yep, she thought, kinda asked for this one.

 

"You think you know how hard the world his but you don't know shit."

 

"And you do, Captain?" he stepped closer, his teeth gritted, "Who are you even? Please explain to us how you fought Loki with your bare hands."

 

"You really don't want to know, but okay, Iron Man versus me, whenever you want," she could just blast him, right here in the spot and leave, but that would give Nick more reasons to make these weapons of his. Carol had to stay, to be Earth's mightiest hero.

 

"Actually I do, show us what you've got."

 

Thor laughing made her look away, "You people are so petty and tiny."

 

"Yeah, this is a team," Bruce interjected.

 

"Agent Romanoff, would you escort Dr. Banner back to his-" Bruce cut him off, "Where? You rented my room."

 

"The cell was just in case-"

 

"In case you needed to kill me, but you can't. I know, I tried. I got low. I didn't see an end, so, I put a bullet in my mouth, and the other guy spit it out," that was an interesting point that wasn't in his file, the Hulk seemed to be immortal, "So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good. Until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk. You want to know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You want to know how I stay calm?"

 

Seeing that Bruce seized Loki's sceptre, Carol decided that it could be the moment for her to show her powers and was ready to turn into her binary form, her hands clenched to photon blast him. Nick and Natasha had their hands on their guns as they also saw the threat that Bruce was becoming.

 

"Dr. Banner," Carol said nicely and he glared at her, "put down the sceptre."

 

He looked down at it, confused, as if he hadn't realised that he took it. A computer beeped as he put it down on the table behind him, computer that signalled them that the Tesseract had been located, "Got it," said Tony as they all glanced at the computer.

 

"Sorry, kids, you don't get to see my party trick after all," Bruce apologised as he walked to the computer.

 

"You located the Tesseract?" asked Thor.

 

"I could get there faster," Tony told Nick, but even without Carol allowed to fly, Thor was surely quicker than him considering how he flew out of the quinjet with his hammer the day before.

 

Carol stopped Tony, grabbing his arm with all her strength, "You're not going alone."

 

"You're gonna stop me?"

 

"Oh, you really wanna try me, do you?" she provoked.

 

"I'm not afraid to hit a woman," he replied, took a step closer and whispered, "and should I tell them all that you are 52 years old?"

 

Carol gritted her teeth, "I could knock you out with one punch, you couldn't tell them anything."

 

"Well, let's try."

 

"Then put on the suit."

 

The computer continued to beep as Carol and Tony threw daggers at each other with their hazelnuts eyes. Bruce only had the time to say Oh, my God as he saw where the Tesseract was before an explosion made the floor under his feet collapse, he and Natasha falling one floor below. The others got projected in every directions, Carol hitting her head on Tony's back and Fury flew through the widow that separated the lab from the corridor.

 

Both gasping as the air was filled with dust, Carol and Tony sat up and shared a gaze, "Put on the suit."

 

"Yeah!"

 

They got up, Tony stumbling on his first steps but Carol helped him, steadying him as his balance came back to normal. The comms in Carol's ear were even more a mess than earlier in the day. She heard Maria Hill telling Nick the state of the engine that exploded and that it was fixable. Tony and Carol were already on their way to fix it but now they knew what was wrong. Then, Fury asked Natasha if she was okay and she said yes but Carol could tell by the way her voice cracked that it wasn't true.

 

"Engine three, I'll meet you there," Tony told Carol, pointing to the direction she had to go.

 

She nodded and tried not to look like a fool as she search for any sign that would tell her where was the engine three. As she walked, she heard Natasha talking to Bruce and it seemed to be bad back there because she was trying to calm him, he was surely turning into the Hulk.

 

Not thinking twice, she clicked two times on her earpiece to talk directly with Fury, "Nick, I think Agent Romanoff is in danger with Dr. Banner, maybe I could go there quickly and help her."

 

"She'll be fine, don't worry about her," he told her.

 

"I could fly there and help it'd take a few sec," Carol insisted.

 

"Just help Stark, she's got it."

 

Carol groaned but listened to him, Natasha was more than competent, she could handle Bruce Banner, but could she deal with the Hulk?

 

Suddenly, roars resonated throughout the whole helicarrier, which confirmed that Bruce wasn't himself anymore. Finally arriving to engine three, Carol had a last thought for Natasha before she heard someone asking for help.

 

She opened a door that was blocked and saw the results of the explosion. It destroyed part of the structure of the helicarrier but the engine and its turbine was still functional. She called for Tony but couldn't find him until he appeared, flying in his Iron Man suit. As he fixed the engine, Tony ordered Carol to go to the control panel so she could tell him which parts of the engine got overloaded by the explosion.

 

The panel was one floor above Carol, which meant she had to jump from the platform she was to the one up there. It was easy for her but she found it funny that Tony didn't think she wouldn't be able to make it, the guy had more than doubts about her capacities, he was sure she had some.

 

Opening the panel, Carol thanked her instructor at the air force who had been the worse to her but taught her mechanics very well. What she had in front of her was more advance than what she saw on planes back in the eighties but she quickly understood the modern technology – not that modern considering what she encountered on other planets – and gave Tony the infos he needed to be quicker in his repairs.

 

Now Tony only had to clear the rotors, but the turbine wouldn't re-engage if he didn't push it to help the engine start. There wasn't zero risk by doing that and Carol got suddenly proud of Tony for being ready to take it, "Okay but can you get out before being shredded by the rotors?" she asked, knowing he had a solution, "There is a stator unit back there, it'll reverse the polarity long enough for me to get out. Just stand by that red lever and wait for my word."

 

Carol had a four metres jump between two platforms to get there and did it pretty easily, the emptiness bellow her wasn't scary at all for the flying Captain. She could only stand there and wait, which was very frustrating.

 

There was no more sound coming from Natasha in her comms, she could only hear Tony speaking to himself and Fury and Agent Hill yelling orders at people. She heard from afar someone talking through loudspeaker, announcing to the whole helicarrier that hostile people were there in S.H.I.E.L.D gear. Carol wanted to go help but she had to stay there to get Tony out of the turbine in time.

 

She had too many informations and not enough at the same time. With her powers she could help everybody in the helicarrier and very quickly but there she was doing nothing. She hated to feel useless, she was usually the opposite of that, the person to save the day.

 

Thor was fighting the Hulk but the damaged that he caused could be the end of them if it didn't stop quickly. Once again, Carol could get him out of the helicarrier on her own, but she didn't even think about asking Nick if she was authorised to, she already knew his answer would be negative.

 

She was watching Tony working when she heard footsteps coming to their location. Three agents were there, oxygen masks on, weapons ready to shoot and she understood they were hostile. One of them pull the pin out of a grenade and threw it in Tony's direction and her first reflex was to jump and kick it away. It explode in the air as she landed on the nearest surface and jumped on the next one to fight the intruders. She punched the first one, kicked the second before throwing the former in the air to his death. The third shot at her so she took the weapon the second dropped and shot back as she went back to her position beside the lever.

 

Holding her position, one engine suddenly failed and the lose of altitude made her fall in the air, but she gripped a wire to stop her drop. The third man was still shooting at her so she figured that a little boost would be allowed and she used her powers to get back on the platform. Maybe this guy saw her, but he was going to die anyway, he was a witness for a minute at best.

 

As she shot him in the arm, the guy rolling and falling off the helicarrier, Carol heard Fury saying that Agent Barton was onboard and that he caused the failure of the other engine – and probably the first one too. One had to go fight him and, before Carol could offer her services – that would be refused – Natasha gave sign of life, "This is Agent Romanoff. I copy," she said with a hoarse and trembling voice. Carol punched the first thing in her sight, the wall beside the lever, as she cursed in her head. Considering the informations she had, it was clear that the Hulk won against the redhead, and her brain surely had a hard time processing what happened. Of course Natasha got up, she had been trained for that, but the aftermath of this on her metal health could be huge, and was what Carol dreaded.

 

"Cap, hit the lever," Tony asked just when another hostile agent started shooting at Carol. She laid on the platform to avoid his bullets but couldn't reach the lever, "Give me one sec," she told Tony before standing up and blasting the man, which gave her just enough time to lower the lever before getting back to her cover.

 

Iron Man hit his head a few times because of this delay but got out and got a ride of this guy shooting at Carol as he landed on the helicarrier.

 

Carol got up and went to the inside of the helicarrier, helping Tony getting back on his feet after he took of his helmet.

 

"Agent Coulson is down," resonated in her ear.

 

Her head down, Carol sniffled as a tear rolled down her cheek. Phil Coulson was a friend, they didn't see each other much, but he did let her go when she had to run for her life, and for that she had always been grateful. She once brought him something from space. Back on the planet it came from, it was more a toy for teenagers, but the complexity of it fascinated him. He always told Carol that he wanted to go to space one day and she promised him that she would take him. She didn't get the time to keep her promise.

 

Tony and Carol went separate ways in the helicarrier at some point, Carol didn't really noticed when. She asked the first agent she ran into where she could wash her face off the sweat that made her sticky. They lead her to a bathroom where she took off the top of her suit and they took care of it, saying that agent Coulson told them what to do with it.

 

Then, she went to the bridge and found it half empty and dead silent, only Nick and Maria Hill were there, as well as Tony who was seated around the table. Carol sat on the other side, trying to get Tony to look at her, but he did the opposite and stared at the floor.

 

Fury joined them around the table, "We're dead in the air up here. Our communications, the location of the Cube, Banner, Thor… I got nothing for you. I lost my one good eye. Maybe I had that coming. Yes," he looked at Carol and walked to her side, "we were going to build an arsenal with the Tesseract. I never put all my chips on that number, though because I was playing something even riskier," Carol glanced at him, she knew what he was going to say, "There was an idea, you both heard about, called the Avengers Initiative. The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people to see if they could become something more. To see if they could work together when we needed them to, to fight the battles that we never could. Phil Coulson died still believing in that idea. In heroes."

 

Suddenly, Tony stood up and left the bridge.

 

"He believed you both were heroes," Nick added before going back to his control panels.

 

Those last words resonated in Carol's head as she followed Tony to wherever he was going. They arrived to where Loki was being held captive, but the cell was gone. For what Carol heard, the God of mischief tricked his brother, locking him in the cage before dropping it in the sky. There was still no word of Thor, but he was strong and Carol knew I'd come back.

 

As she approached, she made sure Tony would hear her footsteps not to surprise him, "Was he married?" she asked, it wasn't something she had had the time to discuss with him recently, and her last update on the subject was most likely obsolete.

 

"No. There was a… cellist, I think."

 

"Sorry. He was a good man," she affirmed, not trying to hide the fact that she had known him for almost twenty years.

 

Tony scoffed, "He was an idiot."

 

"Why? For believing?"

 

"For taking on Loki alone," Tony replied. He seemed really pissed about the situation, Carol could tell that Coulson's death affected him, "He was doing his job."

 

Tony scoffed again, loudly this time, "He was out of his league. He should have waited. He should have…"

 

"Sometimes there isn't a way out, Tony."

 

He rolled his eyes, "Right, I've heard that before."

 

"Is this the first time you lost a soldier?"

 

"We are not soldier," Tony groaned, all his anger channelled in his eyes, "I'm not marching to Fury's fife."

 

"We are not," Carol assured, "What he did is unforgivable but we have to focus on Loki for now. He needs a power source right?"

 

"He made it personal," Tony said, looking at the stain of blood, Coulson's blood, on the wall.

 

"Wasn't it from the beginning?"

 

"That's true. He hit us all right where we live. Why?"

 

"To tear us apart."

 

"Yeah, divide and conquer is great but he knows he has to take us out to win, right? That's what he wants. He wants to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it. He wants an audience."

 

"Right, we caught him in Stuttgart."

 

"Yeah, that was just previews. This is opening night. And Loki, he's a full-tilt diva, right?" Kind of like you,Carol thought, "He wants flowers, he wants parades. He wants a monument built to the skies with his name plastered…"

 

Carol chuckled as she realised at the same time as Tony that Loki was going to use the energy from the Stark tower to use the Tesseract.

 

"Son of a bitch," Tony swore before he ran to go get his suit.

 

They would need help though, so Carol asked the agents she past by if they knew where agent Romanoff and Barton were. One indicated the direction and Carol found them at the infirmary. She took a detour first to get the top of her suit and then went to get Natasha and Clint to come with her.

 

She looked through the windows of the room, seeing a few injured agents from the attack, before finding them, "We have to go."

 

"Go where?" asked Natasha.

 

"Get Loki," Carol replied as she looked for Clint, who wasn't in the room, "I'll tell you everything on the way. Can you fly a jet?"

 

Natasha scoffed, "Pretty sure you are capable of doing so."

 

"I can," said Clint as he exited the bathroom. Carol glanced at him before asking for Natasha's approbation for his state of mind with a gaze and the redhead answered with a nod, "Get ready then."

 

"Yes Captain," he replied before stepping out of the room, Carol moving out of the way to let him pass.

 

Natasha was about to follow him when Carol blocked her inside, stepping on the doorway, "Are you okay? I heard what happened with Dr. Banner."

 

"And what did you hear?" Natasha wondered, taking a step back, her hands on her hips, clearly on the defensive.

 

"I just want to make sure that-"

 

"You don't have to worry about me," Natasha cut her off, "things don't really affect me."

 

"Until they do."

 

Natasha chuckled, "If you don't want me to come I can just stay here, you know."

 

Carol took a step forward, the door closing behind her, "I don't want that, it's just…" she sighed as she looked for the best word to formulate her concerns, "I believe you are okay, for now. I just worry about how this could affect you later. Whether you like it of not, you will have to deal with it Natasha."

 

After a glance away from Carol's eyes, Natasha locked her gaze with the hazelnut one and swallowed, "I know," she said, her voice suddenly softer, weaker.

 

"Okay," Carol replied and got out of the way for Natasha to go first, she still didn't really know her way around the helicarrier and needed her to lead her to the quinjet.

 

As Natasha past by her, Carol noticed something, "You should zip up that catsuit a little bit," she said as she followed the redhead.

 

Natasha turned around and walked backward, "Why, does it disturb you?" she asked with a smirk and zipped up her suit, barely one centimetre up.

 

Carol let out a breathy laugh as Natasha looked forward, "Kinda yeah," the blonde muttered to herself.

 

On the way, Clint joined them, his bow in hands and arrows in his back. They entered the jet that was ready to take off, a mechanics inside trying to prevent them to take it over but Carol just threw him out by saying it was Fury's order.

 

Clint sat on the pilot seat, Natasha as his co-pilot and Carol stood behind them, putting her earpiece back on, "Tony, you there?" she asked.

 

"Right ahead of you, Cap," he replied and just a second later, the three of them saw him flying out of the helicarrier.

 

They took off and followed him, Carol telling Clint they were heading to New York, "Let's get this done."

Chapter 5: The Avengers

Chapter Text

Quite surprisingly for everybody in the quinjet, Tony was way faster than them, even with his partly destroyed Iron Man suit. They quickly lost track of him but their comms were still up. He talked to Dr. Selvig, who was apparently on the Stark tower with the Tesseract and then a loud static made Natasha take off her headphone with a groan, "What was that?"

 

"This can't be good," Clint mumbled, "We gotta get there, fast."

 

Carol could get there in the blink of an eye, she wanted to, but decided that it was better if she followed some of the orders Nick gave her for a change, after she transgressed a majority of them.

 

As they got closer, a ray of light appeared from the tower, creating a hole as it hit the cloudy sky. Wide-eyed, jaw dropped, the S.H.I.E.L.D agents and Carol witness the arrival of the Chitauri on Earth, dozens and dozens of them diving towards the ground, shooting at the population of New York City.

 

"Oh God," Natasha exclaimed, "This is not what I expected."

 

"I hope you guys stretched because this is gonna be a long afternoon," Carol said as she cracked her knuckles.

 

Finally flying above Manhattan, the jets radar found Tony being pursued by at least six Chitauris, "Stark, were on your three, headed north-east," she told him through their communication frequency.

 

"What? Did you stop for drive-through?" Tony scolded, "Swing up Park, I'm going to lay them out for you."

 

Natasha activated the defence system of the quinjet, an automatic heavy weapon that came out from underneath the jet. They saw Iron Man flying over the street perpendicular to theirs and the Chitauris followed. Natasha shot them all, as well as some more that were flying around the Stark tower.

 

Stabilizing the jet, Clint saw Thor fighting with Loki and positioned adequately for Natasha to shoot the god of Mischief. She didn't miss her shots, but he seemed to be more resistant than expected and it didn't even bruised him. With his sceptre, he shot the quinjet, warning lights starting to flicker as they lost altitude. The left engine was burning, they could smell it from the inside and Clint did his best to land as smoothly as possible. But Carol, who wasn't seated nor buckled up, grabbed the sides of Natasha's seat and held on, her body shaken by the turbulences. The right wing hit a building as they got closer to the ground and the quinjet hit the ground a few seconds later.

 

Carol coughed as she stood up and looked at Natasha, "You okay, Cap?"

 

"Agent Romanoff, you good?" they said at the same time and nodded before exiting the jet by the rear hatch.

 

They ran on the street, looking up at all the aliens in the sky, "We can't do anything from here."

 

Suddenly, a loud mechanical growl resonated in the whole city, making the ground slightly quake. Carol looked up at the hole in the sky and saw an enormous skeletal monster flying towards the city, roaring as it wrecked everything on its passage. Armed human-shaped Chitauris jumped out of it and entered the surrounding buildings through the windows.

 

New York needed to be fully evacuated, but Carol, Natasha and Clint couldn't just leave the fighting to the police, they had to be the ones handling the Chitauri, no other lives should be on the line.

 

"Tony, can you handle that?" Carol asked.

 

"I'm not sure but I'll do my best. Where's Banner? Has he shown up yet?"

 

"Banner?"

 

"Just keep me posted," Tony demanded.

 

Natasha and Clint ran towards the nearest cars to be covered and Carol, after one last inspections of the surroundings, joined them.

 

"We've got civilians still trapped up here," Clint said, pointing at a few buildings in front of them.

 

Just as he spoke, Loki past by them on one of the Chitauri's flying vehicle, shooting at some people that were still on the streets. Carol gritted her teeth as she saw him, she really had one wish at the moment, and that was to blast him off of the top of the Stark tower. But the most important was to prevent as much damage as possible and to close this portal.

 

The best way to do that was by Carol using all her resources. She double clicked on her earpiece, hoping the communications with the helicarrier were back on, "Nick, do you copy? I feel like now is the time to turn full binary and protect the city," she muttered quietly so Natasha and Clint couldn't hear her.

 

"No! You guys can do it without you exposing yourself."

 

Carol groaned, "we could avoid a lot of damage."

 

"That's why you shouldn't use your powers."

 

"What?" she shouted, not giving a damn about the possibility of being heard anymore.

 

"Just don't," he ordered and the static in her ear indicated her that he changed the frequency of his comms.

 

Carol groaned again as she saw the people on the street getting shot at, "We gotta do something for them."

 

A reflex made her dodge a shot from a Chitauri who got instantly knocked down by Natasha. More were coming their way and Carol didn't feel like leave them alone but Natasha assured they were fine, "We got this, Cap. You can go."

 

She glanced at Clint who gave her a nod, "You can hold them off?"

 

Clint smirked, "It would be my genuine pleasure."

 

One last glance at Natasha and she was gone, jumping off the bridge they were on, landing on a bus that got destroyed behind her feet by a Chitauri firing at her. She got kicked out of it by an explosion, landed on a car that also exploded and threw her metres away in the direction of the civilians she was going to help. She somehow managed to stay on her feet and ran there to help them, her eyes wandering around to all the damage already made. Carol jumped above cars, running on a straight line to the local police that was down the street, helping a few people on their feet on her way. They were using their guns, which was basically useless because they didn't have the perfect aim Natasha Romanoff had, and seemed totally overwhelmed, not knowing what to do but to shoot these creatures.

 

When she finally arrived to the group of police officers, Carol didn't bothered to find the highest rank of them and gave her orders to the closest, "You need agents there," she pointed at the few buildings Clint mentioned earlier, trying not to react about one of the men she talked to pointing his gun at her, "There are people inside and they're going to run right into the line of fire. Take them to the basements or the subway. Keep them off the streets. Install a perimeter as far back as thirty ninth."

 

"Why the hell should I take orders from you?" the one who threatened Carol with his weapon asked.

 

Before Carol could reply, something exploded behind her and a few Chitauris attacked her. She punched the first one with a right hook, the second with a left hook and finished them with a kick in the head.

 

She was about to tell them she had been trained in the army when he left and gave the orders she gave him to his agents.

 

Carol ran back to where Natasha and Clint were, seeing them from afar surrounded by Chitauris. Natasha was fighting with one of their weapons while Clint was still with his bow and arrows, not very efficient for hand to hand combat. He got tackled to the ground and Carol arrived just in time to kick the two Chitauris that were attacking him, punching three others as they regrouped. Thor and his lightning got a rid of the others that were close, and he landed beside the rest of the team a few seconds later.

 

"What is happening with the Tesseract?" Carol asked him

 

"The power surrounding the Cube is impenetrable."

 

"Thor's right. We got to deal with these guys," Tony said via their comms.

 

"How do we do this," wondered Natasha.

 

Carol looked back at her and smirked, "As a team."

 

"I have unfinished business with Loki," Thor told them, in his own words saying that he was going to let them handle the alien invaders while he would chase his brother.

 

"Yeah?" Clint interjected, adjusting one of his arrows, "Well, get in line."

 

"Enough!" Carol yelled, and they all obeyed, "Loki is the least of our priority right now. He keeps sending his army on us, which is a good thing for us. With Tony in the air-"

 

The sound of a motorcycle approaching stopped Carol in her pep talk. She looked behind her and saw Bruce walking towards the group, "So, this all seems horrible," he said.

 

"I've seen worse," Natasha replied. Carol glanced at her with a concerned gaze, but the redhead didn't look back at her.

 

"Sorry for that," he apologised, looking down at the ground.

 

"We could use a little worse though," Natasha replied. She was right the Hulk would be a precious asset in this fight, especially since he was supposedly immortal.

 

"Tony, he is here," Carol said through her earpiece, "Banner?"

 

"You were right."

 

"As usual," Tony teased and Carol chuckled, "Then tell him to suit up, I'm bringing the party to you."

 

As he said that, he appeared in the sky and following him was the big flying whale-shaped Chitauri.

 

"I don't see how that's a party," Natasha said and Carol couldn't fight a laughter from escaping her mouth.

 

"Dr. Banner, it's your moment!"

 

He smirked, "On it Cap," he said and turned easily into the Hulk, as if he could control it now, and just in time to stop the Chitauri from smashing them all.

 

The punch it received in the face made it slow but it still pushed the Hulk on a few metres, the road underneath his feet getting ripped. The metal of its spinal column clacked, part of it getting destroyed and it gave Tony an opening to shoot in its weak spot. Carol didn't think twice and ran towards Natasha, protecting her with her own body from the explosion and Natasha trustfully stayed covered behind her. Helping her to get back on her feet, Natasha gave a thanking nod to the blonde.

 

All the Chitauris on the walls of the buildings and flying around the city screeched and snarled as the big one died, crashing on the road.

 

They all regrouped in a close circle, the Hulk roaring in response to the Chitauris and Tony landed besides Carol. It was the first time that they joined their strengths for one common goal, win against this army and Loki.

 

They were finally a united team. They were the Avengers.

 

"Guys," Natasha said, looking up at the hole. More Chitauris were coming, two more of those giant beasts and the flying ones.

 

"Your call, Cap!"

 

"Okay. We gotta keep them close, there is no way we let of them escape. Clint, we need you up there," she pointed at a roof, "to shoot everything you see, call out patterns and strays. Tony, you keep them in the perimeter. If one gets more than three blocks away you bring them back to us or you bring them down."

 

"Can you give me a lift," Clint asked Tony, "Right! Better clench up, Legolas."

 

Tony grabbed the back of Clint's collar and the second later they were in the air.

 

"Thor, you gotta slow them from the entry. Light them up."

 

He span his hammer and flew away towards the Stark tower.

 

Carol looked at Natasha, she seemed determined to beat the shit out of some Chitauris, "You and me, we stay here and keep the fight around," Carol looked back at Bruce, "Oh! Hulk," he snarled, "Smash!"

 

He grinned before jumping on the nearest building, doing exactly what Carol told him to, smashing all the Chitauris he saw.

 

Seeing a group of Chitauris not far, Carol ran towards them, knowing that she could let Natasha alone to handle the ones that would come to her. With her superhuman strength, it was easy for her to get a rid of everything hostile that wanted to fight her. When she was not in anyone's sight, she blasted one that was going to do the same to her with his spacial weapon.

 

It wasn't that hard of a combat and she even had the time to look around at what her team was doing. Thor climbed – or rather flew – on the top of the Empire State building and lightened the Chitauris that were exiting the portal. Tony Clint were handling things just like Carol asked and Hulk was, well, smashing.

 

Back on where she was initially, Carol could see Natasha fight five Chitauris at the same time and, even if she was handling them quite well, Carol felt like she had to go back and help, there was no more to fight where she was anyway.

 

The red haired assassin had picked up, once again, a Chitauri's weapon and shot the last one right in the head. Just as Carol arrived behind her, Natasha turned around and pointed the rifle-like weapon at Carol, but didn't shoot as she realised who was there. She was panting and bleeding from her bottom lip and hairline, the worry disappearing from her face as Carol approached.

 

Natasha leaned against a taxi, catching her breath, "Captain, none of this is going to mean a damn thing if we don't close that portal," she said and looked up at the hole in the sky.

 

"Our strongest members couldn't touch it."

 

Natasha smirked at Carol, "Maybe it's more about brains than muscles, Cap!" Carol chuckled silently, she should have seen this one coming, "Mind giving me a boost," she asked, looking at the Chitauri's flying vehicles passing above them, "If you are not too tired for that, of course!"

 

Carol smiled, she liked a little tease even though she usually was the one making the jokes, "You know, I'm strong than you think," she replied as she took a piece of metal that was on the ground, big enough to give more surface to Natasha to jump on.

 

Natasha took a few steps back to gather momentum and started running towards Carol, jumped on the car beside her and then on the piece of metal that Carol was carrying. Carol pushed her up with all her strength and saw the redhead gripping a flying vehicle.

 

Now alone with dozens of Chitauris coming her way, Carol decided that there was no point not using her powers to take them down, "Nobody sees me, gonna make it faster," she said to herself. She blasted a few of them, not turning full binary though, it wasn't necessary.

 

Seeing Tony arriving to her location, Carol stopped the light show and fought with the basic kicks and punches she learnt in her training for the air force. He landed beside her, shot a few beams out of the palm of his hands and went back on the air, letting Carol handle the few more on her own.

 

Carol struggled a bit as more aliens converged to her position but it was nothing unbeatable. As she kicked and blasted five Chitauris at the same time, Clint, from the top of his roof, gave her some informations, "Captain, the bank on 42nd past Madison. They've cornered a lot of civilians in there."

 

"On my way," she said as she blasted the last Chitauri that was running to her in her back.

 

The building wasn't that far, half a block away, but since Carol didn't know the Chitauri's intention with these people she ran as fast as she could to get there. She entered by a window of the second floor on the side of the bank and saw three Chitauris with their weapons pointed further down to where all the civilians were herded. One of them at some device in its hand and it seemed to be a bomb as it activated it. Carol blasted him, the beeping bomb falling onto the ground. The two others turned around and shoot at her, Carol easily dodging each blow with all her agility.

 

Covered by a knocked over table, Carol raised her fists and blindly fired energy from her knuckles, hitting them both. One of them fell in the middle of the crowd and the other didn't stand up ever again. She was about to go take care of the bomb when the Chitauri who turned it on took it and threw it at her. She mindlessly punched it so it stayed in the building – but not in range to harm any civilian – as she jumped out by the window that was her entry a minute ago. The blast of the explosion threw her on a car that was parked on the street and she grunted as she got back to her feet.

 

Carol stood there, calming her breathing as she observed the firefighter evacuating the people that were inside. She looked up at the hole in the sky and sighed as more Chitauris exited it, it was like there was an infinity of them.

 

Analysing the whole situation, she realised that Natasha was finally on the Stark tower, after at least fifteen minutes of flying around. Tony killed one of the big Chitauri by flying through him, just like she would if she was had full strength, but he used some explosive weapons that he had in his suit to ripped it from the inside. There was no sign of the Hulk and Thor, they were probably fighting somewhere she couldn't see them.

 

Clint was very much in her sight though and she witnessed him jumping off the roof he had been and he used a grappling iron to land a few floors down in the building.

 

It was becoming very clear that the situation was getting worse and it would be soon out of control if they do something more, if she didn't do more.

 

She was about to talk to Fury when he bested her, "Stark, do you hear me? You have a missile headed straight for the city."

 

"How long?" Tony asked.

 

"Three minutes, max. The payload will wipe out Mid-town."

 

Carol wanted to go herself but Tony was already on his way to catch the missile, but to do what with it, she didn't know.

 

Thor joined Carol on the street as she was back to fighting at least twenty aliens at the same time. He probably saw her firing photons from her hands but didn't say anything, too occupied beating the shit out of his brother's army. More arrived from behind Carol and before she could react one of them shot her in the stomach. She groaned as she fell flat on her belly, the impact as painful as the blast but it was the exhaustion that was hurting the most. They all had been up for hours, a day more or less and to last in a fight like that they really had to draw on their last reserves of energy to succeed.

 

The God of thunder covered her as she painfully got on her knees and hands, throwing a car at a part of them and ripping the others' heads off. He offered his hand and helped her back on her feet, "Ready for another bout?" he asked.

 

Carol smirked as she panted, "This is just my warm-up, I'm waiting for more."

 

"I can close it," Natasha said suddenly via her comms, "Can anybody copy? I can shut the portal down."

 

"Okay, then do it!" Carol replied with relief in her voice.

 

"No!" disagreed Tony, "I got a nuke coming in, it's gonna blow in less than a minute."

 

Carol looked up at the hole and understood why Tony didn't want the portal to be closed yet, he wanted to send the Chitauri the missile. It was a great plan but it would more be her role to do it than him.

 

"I know just where to put it," he said. He was already flying under the nuke, it was too late for her to take his place. For Carol, going in space with a missile like that wasn't dangerous, she most likely didn't fear the explosion and could breath – somehow – in the vacuum of space, but he couldn't.

 

"Tony, can you come back from this?" she asked, maybe his brilliant mind had figured out something that she didn't think about, but his lack of answer told her otherwise.

 

Carol and Thor could see him now, he and the nuke were going straight towards the Stark tower and he even grazed the metal of his armour on the top of the tower he built himself as he pushed the missile up, aiming for the hole.

 

There was nothing to do but watch him disappearing in space, a mixed feeling of relief and guilt in Carol's chest. They succeeded in their mission, but if it was for the cost of Tony's life, she couldn't be happy about the result.

 

She kept her eyes up, hoping to see him flying out, but as the seconds turned into a minute, the chances of seeing him coming back got smaller. Suddenly, all the Chitauris around them died, which made it worse, the ship from where they came must have exploded, and maybe Tony with them.

 

As the echo of the explosion resonated into her ear, Carol decided that it was time and ordered Natasha to close the portal.

 

It was instantaneous, the ray vanished and the portal closed like the iris of an eye when the sun shines too bright.

 

As the sky came back to normal, Carol's hazel eyes caught the sight of a small spot falling down. She grinned as she recognised Tony and the typical colours of his Iron Man armour, getting closer to the ground at quite fast speed, "He is not slowing down," observed Thor as he was ready to take off thanks to his hammer. Before he could, the Hulk caught Tony during his fall and difficultly landed on the street, a few metres away from where Thor and Carol were.

 

They jogged to his side, to make sure he was okay. Thor tore off the front part of his helmet and Carol leaned over him to hear his breathing. She looked up at Thor, slightly shaking her head, she didn't hear anything.

 

Still down on her knees, Carol bowed her head, not capable of processing the news. It was all her fault, she should have been the one handling this nuclear missile, she shouldn't have lied to her team from the start. Losing Tony would forever be a reminder of her failure, how she betrayed her team for Fury's orders. Trust was built on honesty and, after this, she would never have any of these people's trust.

 

A roar from the Hulk cut her trail her thoughts, making her slightly jump, and she wasn't the only one. Tony gasped, his eyes opening instantly, wide and lively, as if he just woke up from a horrible nightmare.

 

"What the hell," Tony said, glancing between Carol and Thor as he panted, "What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me."

 

Carol chuckled, even after almost dying, Tony Stark couldn't stop himself from joking. She sat down on her butt, letting out a heavy sigh of relief, "You did it, we won."

 

"All right, yay! Hurray. Good job, guys," Tony cheered, "Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I want to try it."

 

"We're not finished yet," Thor said with his most serious tone.

 

He was right, Loki was still somewhere and needed to be taken care of.

 

"And then shawarma after."

 

Thor and Carol helped Tony standing up and the God of thunder explained that the Hulk took care of Loki in the Stark tower's penthouse. Carol asked Natasha to make sure Loki was still there as they walked to the tower, all with some difficultly because of the exhaustion and the injuries.

 

When they arrived in the penthouse, Natasha was waiting for them with the sceptre in her hands and she nodded at Loki, who was lying on his stomach, struggling to move his body, sore from his encounter with the Hulk. They all stood behind him, staring at him as he crawled on the floor and finally rolled onto his back. Clint bent his arrow at his face, "If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now," Loki said with a smirk and, this time, after a groan from the Hulk, Carol didn't restrain herself and blasted him, his back hitting hard the few stairs he was sitting on.

 

As Loki whimpered in pain, they all looked at Carol, and the only thing she could do was to shrug, "I knew there was something about your shining hands," Tony said.

 

"Oh! There's much more than that, I'll explain everything later."

 

Carol took care of contacting Nick to get people to take care of Loki, the sceptre and the Tesseract while Clint was still threatening the god of mischief with his bow. Tony or Natasha could have called S.H.I.E.L.D instead of Carol, but it gave her a few extra minutes to prepare her explanation.

 

When she finally came back to the group, she could tell that everything they wanted to hear was the truth, "Strike team is on its way for Loki and um," she began, rubbing the back of her neck, "I know I owe you all the truth, and believe me I hate that I lied to you, but it was my order," she shared a glance with each one of them, and the most supportive was Natasha's, "What Nick told you about me is true, but he kept 23 years of my life. As Tony knows, I was born in 1960. I was a pilot in the air force in the eighties and my life changed in 1989."

 

Carol took a deep breath, the memories of these times not being her favourite of her existence, "That year, I got my powers from the explosion of an engine that had been built thanks to the Tesseract."

 

"Wait up!" interrupted Tony, "What are your powers?"

 

Natasha punched his arm, "Let her finish, Stark."

 

He raised his arm in defeat and Carol continued, "I'm coming to this point soon. After I got my powers, the Kree, an alien species, abducted me and brainwashed me, making me think I was one of them," Carol could see that Natasha was empathising with this part, but couldn't look at her in the eyes, "for six years I fought with them, they used me as their weapon, until I encountered Earth again and met Fury. I realised that I was from here and that the Kree fooled me. Since then, I've been flying around the universe, helping those who needed my help."

 

She finished her sentence with a sigh of relief. It felt good to tell them, to have the truth out there.

 

"So, what are the powers?" Tony asked.

 

There was no better way to explain this part than by showing them. Carol took a couple of steps back, closed her eyes, clenched her fists and jaw and let the energy run wild through her whole body. When she reopened her eyes, she was shining golden and blue, and her audience were all gapping.

 

She took another step back, started running and flew out of the tower to land back in a few seconds later. She let the energy fade away as she walked back to the group, "So, basically I can fly at light speed, shoot blasts of energy and I'm freaking strong, among other things."

 

"You… f-fly at light speed?" Tony stammered, his eyes still wide from the surprise of seeing Carol in her binary form, "I can, but not just like that, I need to accumulate speed before."

 

"Astonishing," he replied, "what about we go get this shawarma and you tell me more on the way?"

 

Carol chuckled, "Sure, but we have to wait for S.H.I.E.L.D before leaving."

 

"Right! Waiting, that I can do," Tony said as he turned on the television of his penthouse that had luckily survived all the fights.

 

Of course, the Avengers were on every channels, media covering the event with images from civilian's phones. Some people were already dressing up as the heroes that saved them, and other were interviewed, giving their point of view of the fight, "Captain Marvel saved my life," a woman said, and Carol recognised her. She went to see her after she saved the people in the bank and that was the name she gave her, her superhero name.

 

"Captain Marvel huh?" Natasha teased as she stood on Carol's right, "I rarely use this name, it’s just to keep the anonymity, you know."

 

"I'm not even in the news, that's how you keep your anonymity," Natasha advised, "but I like the name though."

 

Carol scoffed, "Thanks, Nick gave it to me. And, for what it's worth, you should be the one on the news, you closed the portal, I basically did nothing."

 

"Thank you Captain, but I'm not a hero."

 

Carol thought otherwise, but she decided not to reply, she couldn't help Natasha think better of herself by forcing it on her.

 

"Hey Cap," Tony shouted from the other side of the room, "Next time, please use your flying capacity so I'm not the one lifting a nuke and throwing it in space, risking my life in the process."

 

"Don't worry Tony, from now on I'll do all the heavy lifting."

 

The sound of the elevator reaching their floor cut them in their conversation, "Oh! Shawarma time!"

 

"Wait!" Thor interjected, "Loki and the Tesseract are coming with me on Asgard. There is no way I let you and your people keep doing your things with it."

 

Carol agreed, "It'd be safer with you. But I believe S.H.I.E.L.D wants the sceptre."

 

"Of course S.H.I.E.L.D wants it," Tony said ironically.

 

A man approached Natasha, taking the sceptre from her hands, "We are taking care of it, ma'am."

 

"It's agent Romanoff," Carol stated aggressively, throwing daggers at him with her eyes, "Right, agent Romanoff."

 

He left way faster than he arrived and Natasha chuckled, "You didn't have to… do whatever that was."

 

"I just wanted to remind him that you had been useful in this fight, unlike him."

 

Now that it was only them, they could finally try this food Tony talked about. Actually, they had one more thing to do before going, "So, how do we get the doctor back?" Carol asked, pointing at the Hulk.

 

"I don't know, ask him," Tony replied as his AI was taking off his suit.

 

Thor approached him, but before he could say a word, the Hulk punched him in the opposite wall.

 

Carol, Natasha and Clint looked at each other, "I'm not getting embedded in a wall," Clint said before Carol could propose any idea.

 

Carol knew she had to go talk to him, calm him somehow, she couldn't ask Natasha to do it after what happened in the helicarrier, and especially considering how she seemed nervous to be so close to him.

 

Turning around to face the Hulk, she saw his gaze on Natasha and tapped her shoulder. The redhead did and the Hulk suddenly fell on his knees, his breaths more like groans. Natasha stepped back while Carol did the opposite, bending down to his side as he shrunk and lost his green colour, "Dr. Banner, are you okay?" she asked, carefully putting her hand on his back.

 

"Call me Bruce," he replied, panting, "I need clothes."

 

"On it," Clint said and went to Tony.

 

The rest of them didn't bother to change before going to this shawarma place, only Tony and Bruce were in civilian clothing. The team that went to get the sceptre kept an eye on Loki and the Tesseract while they were away.

 

It felt really nice to spend a moment with the team, just talking about life for a change, world saving became quite a boring subject. It was more Thor and Tony doing the talking, the two spies not very fond of oversharing and Bruce was a bit distant, but Carol supposed it was just an after-being-the-Hulk thing and that it would pass. Tony questioned Carol a lot though, he wanted to hear about all her adventures in space, and she realised that she had already met Thor in the past, but very briefly.

 

They went back to the tower, strolling like a group of friends hanging out, and when they got there, Fury had sent clothes for his agents and Carol.

 

S.H.I.E.L.D had secured a perimeter in Central Park for Thor's and Loki's departure, but there was no other orders from Fury, they were free to go where they wanted. Tony had a tower that needed to be fixed but offered Bruce a ride back wherever he wanted to go. The doc had some belongings that he wanted to get back from Calcutta but said he would come back to the Stark tower, if Tony's offer hadn't expired. Natasha and Clint had to go back to S.H.I.E.L.D to their job, a car there to pick them up after their goodbyes to Thor. Carol didn't know what to do other than going back to Maria's, as long as Nick didn't need her she had no reason not to live at her best friend's house, the only place she ever called home.

 

They all stood around as Bruce put the Tesseract in the containing box Dr. Selvig had create just for it to be transported. Carol glared at the cubic object, wishing she could throw lasers with her eyes that would melt this so coveted artefact that did more bad in the whole universe than good.

 

Thor took one handle of the box, Loki the other and by rotating Thor's end, the Tesseract got somehow activated. The Asgardian brothers shined blue for a few seconds before disappearing in the air.

 

Now was the time for everybody to say goodbye, Erik Selvig going first. I couldn't stop apologising for all that happened, even though it wasn't his fault. He left and Tony and Bruce quickly followed, Carol shaking their hands before they entered Tony's convertible.

 

Clint was already in the car when Natasha walked to Carol side, who was inspecting the motorcycle S.H.I.E.L.D had given her, "Where are you going, Cap?"

 

"New Orleans, at my best friend's house, until I'm needed somewhere," Carol replied as she was checking very closely all parts of the vehicle, bending down, knowing Fury was the kind of person to put a tracker on it to know every time she'd use it.

 

"Well, I hope Director Fury will have something for you, it'd be nice to work with you again."

 

Standing up, Carol locked her gaze with Natasha's and couldn't fight as smile, "Yeah, me too," she eventually mumbled and the redhead turned to leave. Carol blinked and her hand mindlessly found Natasha's elbow, "Eh, about what I said earlier."

 

Natasha glanced down at her arm, "Dealing with it," she looked back at Carol and smiled softly, "I will."

 

Carol let go Natasha's elbow, her hand slowly sliding down her forearm, "Goodbye Carol," Natasha said as she walked backward to the car. Carol watched them leaving, until they took a left turn, she couldn't see them anymore and got on the motorcycle.

 

She had only two things in mind after these few exhausting days as she drove to the south, to Louisiana, things being taking a long and cold shower and sleeping for three days straight.

Chapter 6: No time to rest

Chapter Text

Going back home was a real delight, seeing Maria and telling her everything that happened much needed. They spent an entire evening talking about the events. Carol gave her inside point of view on the battle and Maria the feelings she had when she saw the image on her TV, the fear and worry that something would happen to Carol, and then the relief and pride of seeing that the threat had been neutralised and that people were grateful for Carol's and all the Avengers' intervention.

 

Of course, Maria couldn't stop teasing Carol when the name of a certain redhead was mentioned, but Carol was used to these little jokes and didn't mind them. Carol couldn't help it, she had to praise Natasha, to explain how it was her who found out how to finish this hell that was this fight against Loki. She didn't talk about the incident with the Hulk though, it was something very few people had knowledge of and Maria didn't need to know that Natasha had lived another trauma.

 

During the next few days, Carol mostly rested. She usually needed four or five hours of sleep to be at her best, but after these three days she opted for a full recovery that consisted of eight hours of sleep per night, morning runs for her cardio and healthy meals cooked by Maria and Monica the one time she came to visit.

 

What Carol didn't see coming was the S.H.I.E.L.D car parked in front of the house only a week after she arrived.

 

She woke up at dawn - her typical move - drank a glass of peach and apricot juice and changed into a white tank top, a pair of yoga pants and her running shoes to go out for her run. She didn't even start running when she saw Maria Hill, standing crossed arms beside the car. Her hands on her hips, Carol laughed at herself for thinking she was free of Fury's control and walked towards the black haired woman.

 

"Didn't expect to see you so soon, Agent Hill."

 

She uncrossed her arms and stepped in direction of Carol, "Well, you are a very valuable asset for us. Having you here and not asking you for a favour would be a stupid play."

 

"That's true but will it be the only favour, huh?" It was a rhetorical question, she knew Nick would want her to work for S.H.I.E.L.D more regularly.

 

"I guess you'll have to ask that to Director Fury," Maria said as she opened the door of the car, "Can I at least change before going?"

 

"Sure."

 

It took everything inside Carol to hold her sigh until she was far enough so Maria Hill couldn't hear her. This was just the beginning of Nick thinking he owned her, and she would soon have to clarify things with him, especially since he didn't tell her the whole truth with the Tesseract.

 

Back in the house, she went to her bedroom to change into casual clothing before knocking on Maria's door. After a minute, the head of Carol's sleepy best friend stuck out of the door frame, "Carol, I told you I wouldn't come running with you this mornin'."

 

"It's not that," Carol replied and there Maria saw that her best friend wasn't wearing an outfit to practice any physical activity, "There is a car outside for me, Fury wants me back at S.H.I.E.L.D."

 

"You workin' for them now?"

 

"Apparently," Carol sighed.

 

Maria stepped out of her bedroom to pull Carol in her arms, "I hope you'll work with that redhead of yours," she said into the embrace and Carol instantly pulled out, "Oh, my God. Shut up!" she giggled, lightly punching Maria in the shoulder.

 

"Alright! You be careful, huh."

 

Carol winked, "Always."

 

The ride to, well, Carol didn't know where, was dead silent. The blonde expected Agent Hill to brief her about why Fury wanted her back at S.H.I.E.L.D, but either she didn't know or she had been ordered not to tell Carol because she didn't open her mouth for the whole trip.

 

After about an hour, Maria stopped the vehicle on the side of the road that crossed a track. She exited the car and Carol followed her, she supposed she had to and was right. They walked for five minutes and arrived on an empty field. Carol frowned as she shared a glance with Maria, what was the point of all this, she thought.

 

Not a minute later, Carol heard noises from behind her, the sound of an engine, and before she could turn around to see it it was in front of her, landing.

 

Carol didn't even bother to ask why all the secrecy and where they were going, she entered the quinjet, sat on the first seat she saw and waited.

 

She must have dozed off because the time passed really fast, and when they landed she recognised Washington DC. They were on the top of a building and, to Carol's surprise, Fury didn't welcome her.

 

Agent Hill showed her the way, led her to an elevator and then to an office. She opened the door and closed it behind her, staying outside, and Carol saw a dozen of men there as well as Fury, "Captain, thank you for coming in such short notice," he said with a cheerful tone.

 

"Didn't feel like I had a choice," Carol muttered to herself as she stepped closer to the group.

 

"This is Strike team, you met some of them in New York I believe."

 

Carol looked at each on of them until she finally recognised one and chuckled, "Oh yeah, you are the guy who was rude to Agent Romanoff," she pointed at him and he looked down shamefully.

 

"Talking about me, Captain?" a voice Carol could recognise anywhere said. She turned around and saw Natasha and Clint entering the office, both in their S.H.I.E.L.D outfits.

 

"Hey Cap!" Clint greeted. They stood to each side of Carol, Clint on her left, Natasha on her right, and the latter gave her a slight nod before getting her attention back to Fury.

 

"Now that everybody is there, let's start," Nick gathered the people around, sending images on the big flat screen on the wall opposite to him, "This is rescue mission. Two of our agent have gone missing for a day, their last communication with us saying "it might be a trap", guess it was. The goal is zero casualties, neutralise the abductors, kill them only if necessary and get our agents back."

 

"Sir?" the rude guy from New York interrupted.

 

"Agent Rumlow?"

 

"Why do you need us, this is something Barton and Romanoff can do on their own."

 

Carol glared at him, "Agents Barton and Romanoff," she said under her breath, but not quiet enough because both Natasha and Clint chuckled, the redhead looking at her with a smirk.

 

"Because, from what we know, their will be a lot of people guarding them. You will need to be perfectly synchronised, one mistake and it will end up in a big fight."

 

Fury showed more details that were all boring to Carol. She wasn't an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D for one reason, and that was because she hated to receive orders. All her life - in the air force or with the Kree - Carol had been yelled at by her superiors barking orders at her, with no respect at all. Since she got free from the Kree she sworn she would never let anyone tell her what to do.

 

Her trail of thoughts got stopped by Natasha lightly squeezing her shoulder. Carol gazed at her and the other woman nodded at Fury, who was talking to Carol, she must have noticed she wasn't listening anymore, "Strike team, time to get ready. I still want a word with agents Romanoff and Barton and Captain Danvers."

 

All these men left the office, chattering about the mission, until it was only the four of them in the room.

 

"You didn't tell me I'd work for S.H.I.E.L.D, I thought I was only there for the Avengers."

 

"Well, I thought it would forge a team spirit if you worked with Agent Romanoff and Barton a little more."

 

"Come on, Captain, it's gonna be fun," Clint said as he went to sit on one of the chairs in front of Fury's office.

 

"Plus, you get to call the shots," Natasha added, and that was what reassured her, she would be in control, she wasn't back to the awful early days of her life, "Fine, but I'm not at your service, okay? No more picking me up for a mission whenever you want."

 

"That's why I'm giving you a place here in DC, it'll save you the long trip."

 

"Right," Carol sighed, of course Nick had thought of something to make her stay close, that way he could ask for her help easily and she couldn't complain about the distance.

 

She put her head back in the mission, the faster they went to rescue these agents, the faster she could get back home, until she'd have to move to this 'place in DC', "no powers again?"

 

"Not in presence of Strike team, no."

 

That was the only thing she actually needed to know, and the thing about her being at Fury's disposal came back to bother her very quickly, "Okay but if I get a place here it means I'll have to go on missions often right?"

 

"Only when you are needed."

 

Carol chuckled as she thought about what agent whatever-is-his-name said, "I'm sure Natasha and Clint could handle it without me."

 

"Strike team are mercenaries, they only answer to someone in higher ranking," Natasha explained.

 

"I've never worked here, how can I have a higher rank than you?" Carol asked, an eyebrow raised, this had no sense to her.

 

"Privileges, Captain, enjoy them," Clint replied as he stood up and made his way to the door, they also had to get ready.

 

"Now that you're here might as well do the job. It'll be great, I promise," Natasha said. This was a fair point but Carol didn't want to let go. She wasn't one of Fury's agent, he couldn't call her like that when it pleased him, "Please, Carol," Natasha insisted.

 

Something about Natasha calling her by her first name made Carol's heart flutter and her cheeks warm up. Since she first said it a week ago, Carol hadn't stopped thinking about it and how it sounded perfect when it came out of Natasha's mouth. Carol didn't really appreciate or dislike her name, it was common, not a long beautiful name like Elizabeth or Eleanor are – these she really liked – but Natasha's voice made it better, nicer, it was melodious.

 

She looked at the redhead and couldn't say no anymore. Natasha knew for sure what she was doing, she knew how to seduce people and to convince them, and that was what she was doing with her faux-saddened emerald gaze and her little pout, "Okay, let's restart from the beginning, what do we know?"

 

Clint came back around the desk as Fury showed them more details about the missions, details that he didn't gave to Strike team because they weren't high enough in S.H.I.E.L.D's hierarchy to have them.

 

From what Carol understood, it was the agents mistake, and in her personal opinion they shouldn't have been there in the first place. They wanted to know if a group of native American was hostile against the US, and they probably weren't until S.H.I.E.L.D showed up on their soil. Carol would have preferred to negotiate with these people, but it didn't seem to be what Fury had in mind and she didn't care enough to propose this option.

 

"I believe the three of you are already good enough of a team to succeed in this mission. Now, go get ready, agent Romanoff has a suit to show you Carol!"

 

In another situation, this pep talk wouldn't have been let unnoticed by Carol, she definitely would have teased Nick for saying such nice words. However, the fact that she had (again) a new suit, drew Carol's attention.

 

They exited Fury's office and Carol followed Clint and Natasha, "You'll join us at the jet, girls?" Clint said at the junction of corridors and Natasha nodded, going in the direction.

 

Carol walked two paces behind Natasha and allowed herself to analyse her behaviour, as well as checking her out subtly. She had still that confidence that emanated from her, always, even if she had recently lived tough stuff. But Carol knew now that inside she was hurting, this confidence just being a facade so nobody worried about her. It seemed to work with everybody, even Clint, but Carol wasn't going to let Natasha fool her with this. She showed her she cared after the battle of New York and she would keep doing it if the redhead didn't deal with her shits.

 

Too lost in her thoughts, Carol only realised they were in the armoury when Natasha spoke up, "Since it's a stealth operation, Maria thought, stealth mode."

 

Agent Hill was there, on the other side of the room behind a table on which was the new suit. Carol took a step forward and gasped as she got a better look at it, "This looks so fucking amazing," she swore as she observed the suit, the classic eight pointed star was shining grey, the dark black S.H.I.E.L.D logo on the left shoulder and the rest of the suit a light black.

 

"You can put this on here and we are good to go," Natasha said, pointing at a screen.

 

It wasn't in Carol's DNA to be shy about her body anymore, the Kree made this disappear. But the boundaries on Earth weren't the same and she knew she couldn't undress in front of them, even though she wouldn't mind these two women seeing her naked.

 

Parts of Carol wanted to do a fashion show with this new suit on, she loved it and felt very powerful in it, but there was a more important matter that was waiting for her and Natasha. They shared a look and nodded before the redhead started walking to the shed. Clint and Strike team were already in the quinjet, ready to take off.

 

"Looking good, Cap!" Clint told Carol as he was fixing his bow.

 

An agent stepped in front of Carol, his hands in his back, "Ma'am, we are ready for takeoff."

 

She nodded and the agent left, the jet flying in the air a few seconds later. The location where they were going wasn't very far and, with the speed of the quinjet, they would get there in the next half hour.

 

After twenty minutes of flight, Carol gathered around her the eleven people that was her team for the day, less the pilot. She reminded them of the three steps of the mission, neutralising the guards outside of the building with a soporific gas, that they had to do at the same time. Then, she would get inside with Natasha and Clint, analyse the situation while Strike team watched the surrounding, and finally they would rescue the agents. It wasn't that complicated, nobody had to die or being hurt and they would be back in DC for dinner.

 

They landed close to the border of the reserve and went on foot to the location, walking through woods until they could glimpse sight of the building.

 

Just like anticipated, there were just as much armed guards as their was members of the team, and the woods all around the building would really help for them to take position. Carol, Natasha and Clint were the closer to the entry, since they were going in to get the agents.

 

It took a dozens of minutes for all the agents of Strike team to get in position and, before Carol could ask them via their comms if they were all ready, one of them went without authorisation. Agent Rumlow called him back but it was too late. He took too much time to go back to his initial positionand he got caught by two guards pointing their rifles at him. He replied by aiming at them with his gun, which made Carol leave her hiding place.

 

"Wait!" she shouted, running towards them with her hands in the air, to show she wasn't a threat, "we only want peace with you. We are here to get our agents back and then we will leave you alone."

 

She stepped closer and called all her team out of the woods. They all had with their guns in their holsters, only the one that had been caught still had his gun in hands.

 

"Rollins," agent Rumlow said, "put the gun down."

 

"Only when they do it!" he shouted back and Carol could see he was nervous, his pointing finger on the trigger.

 

With another step forward, she was close enough to take down these two guards but all the others were still there and watching, so this was not an option.

 

"Please, just give our agents back here, we know you have them, and then you won't ever hear about us."

 

Carol thought she had succeeded when one of the two guards took his walkie-talkie and mumbled something that she couldn't hear. However, she didn't see his next motion coming. One second she was standing there, thinking the mission would be over, the next she was down on the ground, her head hitting a rock after the guard struck her with the grip of his rifle.

 

Her head was dizzy, her vision blurry, and when she tried to get back on her feet she felt her legs failing her. Falling back on her belly, she felt a touch on her shoulder and muttered, "Stand down."

 

The person repeated the order and it took Carol a few seconds to realise that it was Natasha. She whimpered as Natasha helped her get back on her feet. Putting her hand on her forehead, where she hit the rock, Carol noticed she was bleeding and kept her limb here to hide her blue blood. She looked around and saw that every people but her and Natasha had their personal weapons in hands, "Give us our agents back and we leave, no need for anybody to get hurt," she said, her voice echoing in her head.

 

After another call, the guard who hit her nodded at the house and all the guards lower their weapons. In reaction, the S.H.I.E.L.D agents did the same, even agent Rollins after Clint ordered him to.

 

Carol looked at Natasha and Clint, "You guys can handle that," she panted, the hit she took in the head making her whole body weak.

 

Natasha stepped closer beside Carol, "You go in there Clint, I'm taking her back in the jet."

 

Carol sighed as she took a step back to go back to the jet, but as her foot hit the ground she felt like her brain was going to implode inside her skull. Natasha instantly wrapped her arm around Carol's waist to steady are as they walked together. Every step was worse than the other and she felt like she was going to throw up but Natasha really helped her and Carol focused on that, the other woman's strong arm holding her closely against her side.

 

"Next time you get an impulse like that, try to warn us. I really didn't know what we were doing back there," Natasha said as they walked in the woods, not without struggles, "I thought showing myself and try to negotiate was a better idea than killing them."

 

Natasha chuckled, "And you are right, but just tell us next time."

 

If there is a next time, Carol told herself.

 

The more they walked, the more the blonde felt like throwing up, she had to sit somewhere and fast. She couldn't hold a sigh of relief when she caught sight of the quinjet, getting her hand off her forehead.

 

Natasha led her to a seat before going to take a first aid kit, "Your jaw looks fine, does it feel fine?" she asked, slowly caressing the bruised skin that got hit by the rifle with her thumb. Carol closed her eyes, lightly leaning into the gentle touch and took a deep breath, "Honestly, my whole head hurts so much that I don't know where it's worse."

 

The redhead took a pack of ice and put it on Carol's left cheek, "Well then, just in case," she said with a smirk before searching in the kit, "I gotta close this cut."

 

Carol tried to get an overview of the wound with her fingers but her motions with sloppy and her touch too hard. She groaned and cursed under her breath for being such an idiot, she wasn't in a state to take care of herself and must let Natasha do it for her.

 

Giving up, she put the ice pack in her palm and leaned on it, her elbow on her lap.

 

Natasha started by disinfecting the wound, causing Carol to frown and grunt. She groaned more as Natasha cleaned the inside of the cut. Carol needed a distraction to overlook the pain and she found it in the woman in front of her. There was no way she could be subtle about her staring this time, they were way too close for that but the redhead didn't seem to mind, too focused in her stitching. At first, Carol looked at Natasha's green eyes that sparkled like gemstones, a mix of dark and light green and a bit of blue shining even brighter as Carol lost herself in them. A sudden sting in her flesh more painful than the others made Carol's breathing shake. She blinked and when her eyelids were opened again, her gaze was on Natasha's lips, curved into a smile, her mouth slightly open. Carol thought those lips were very kissable but the thought got lost in the wind as she groaned again, the area Natasha was working on more sensible.

 

"You know, I heal faster than a normal human," she told Natasha, shutting her eyes close as another wave of pain went through her whole body, "Yeah, the blue blood makes me think it is true. But the way you are crying like a baby seems pretty human to me."

 

"I'm only half human," Carol groaned and Natasha let out a laughter, "Are you even qualified to do that?" she added as she released a long breath.

 

"Don't worry Carol, I'm not going to disfigure your perfect face."

 

In other circumstances, Carol wouldn't have let Natasha go with that comments - that sounded a whole lot like a compliment - but the pain was too much for her to tease the redhead.

 

It took a few more minutes for Natasha to clean and patch Carol's wound. She was done just when Clint, Strike team and the agents they rescued entered the quinjet.

 

Clint looked at Carol, who nodded and he knew what to do, "Alright, let's get back to DC."

 

He came to check on Carol and told her what happened inside the building, what was her idea of this mission if Nick had thought about negotiating with them in the first place.

 

Natasha sat beside Carol for the whole flight, making sure her head was fine with a few motor function tests. The blonde already started to feel better, her ears not hurting anymore when she talked and, by the end of the trip, she could stand without being too dizzy.

 

Strike team was about to leave directly as they landed but Carol called them out, "We are not done yet," she said as they all stood in line in the back of the quinjet, "Ma'am?" agent Rumlow replied and she did her best not to glare at him.

 

"What happened back there was unacceptable. Not only you didn't follow the plan but you also were undisciplined and it could have turned into a way worst situation if I didn't intervene."

 

She walked back and forth in front of them, ignoring Nick and Maria Hill approaching, "If we ever happen to work together, I will expect total coordination and obedience from each and everyone of you. One more mistake in my presence and you are out, all of you."

 

The snort from Clint almost made her lose the thread of her thought but she shook her head and finished her reprimand, "One last thing. These people are agents Romanoff and Barton, refer to them as such in my presence or you are out. I'm Captain Danvers, not ma'am, not Danvers, it's Captain Danvers or Captain. Understood?"

 

They all muttered something, a mix of Yes Captain and understood, and she lingered a bit just to add more guilt on their shoulders, "You are dismissed."

 

Fury and Hill entered the quinjet as Strike team exited it and Carol sat down on the closest surface, "I get it didn't go as planned," Fury started as he walked closer to take a look at Carol's forehead.

 

Carol chuckled, "Yep, you could say that."

 

"But she handled the situation perfectly, preventing casualties in both our side and theirs," Natasha clarified, and Carol gave her a thanking smile.

 

"Right! I guess now is not the best time to ask you for a report."

 

Carol crossed her arms as she stood up, "The only thing I want to do is sleeping right now."

 

"Agent Hill can drive you to your apartment. It is furnished but you can get some more stuff of yours if you want," Nick told her before looking at Clint, "I'm going to need you for something, agent Barton."

 

"Yes sir," he replied and followed him inside the S.H.I.E.L.D facilities.

 

The three women stood there for a few seconds before Maria stepped forward and Carol mindlessly followed her, Natasha walking beside her, "I can write the report if you want. I saw everything and know what your intentions were, you'll just have to check it before I sent it to Nick."

 

It was a very appealing offer, but Fury didn't say he needed the report right away and Carol wouldn't bother Natasha with something that was her job to do, "I'll do it tomorrow, but thank you for the offer."

 

They arrived at an elevator, and that was where they had to go separate ways, "Okay. If you need anything, for your new place or something, you can call me."

 

Carol wanted to laugh, she didn't have a phone so calling the redhead would be tough to achieve, but once again the intention was nice of her, "I'll remember that," Carol managed to reply with a smile before the doors of the elevator closed.

 

Maria led Carol to a car, opened the door for her before going to the driver seat, "Romanoff seems to like you already, it took a few months for her to be friendly like that with me."

 

Carol didn't really know what to say to that, what did this mean about Natasha? Did she had a soft spot for the blonde or did she just feel like she could let her guard down with her? Or was it something else? Was Carol overthink? That was surely it.

 

"Guess I'm lucky," she eventually replied, realising as she remembered some lines from Natasha's file that trust wasn't something one could get from her easily. Carol didn't pretend like she already had Natasha's trust. She, herself, didn't fully trust the redhead, but what Maria said was still interesting.

 

They parked after a fifteen minutes ride and Maria showed Carol the way to her apartment. It wasn't that much old of a building, late eighties was Carol's guess and the neighbourhood seemed decent at this time of the evening. Inside, there was only three apartment on the second floor and the letter box on the first, meaning there wouldn't be much noises that would bother Carol in her sleep.

 

Maria Hill opened the door and let Carol entered first, the blonde gasping with surprise as she saw how big and nice this place was, "There is food in the fridge, sheets of the bed in the closet as well as towels."

 

Carol turned around, seeing Maria still at the door, "Thank you, agent Hill."

 

"It's my job, Captain."

 

Carol chuckled, "Please, call me Carol."

 

"Then I'm Maria," she replied and stepped out of the apartment, "Goodbye Carol."

 

Carol looked around as she sat on the couch, about to put her feet on the coffee table when she saw something on it. She took a closer look and saw a phone and a note. She laughed as she read it, it was like Fury had seen ahead of her and her conversation with Natasha. After considering using the phone, she put it back where she found it and went to the kitchen, taking a little thing to eat before going to bed.

 

I figured it would be easier if I had a way to contact you. There's Barton's, Hill ' s and Romanoff's numbers in this. If you ever get bored when you don't have any work to do you can call them and hang out.

Chapter 7: Hanging out

Chapter Text

Life in Washington DC was calm and peaceful for Carol, especially because Fury didn't call since that first mission.

 

The report sent two days after the mission, her belongings from Maria's moved to the new apartment after a week in it, she had not a lot to do. With this time off, Carol took the opportunity to visit the city, she hadn't been there for quite some time, before she got her powers.

 

But even after that, she received nothing on her phone and got bored. She fell into a routine, morning run, then she would go to the farmers market in a smaller town nearby, using the motorcycle and credit card Fury gave her, and back at her place she would cook her lunch and later on the day dinner. The afternoon and evening were mainly spent in front of the television, she had an amazingly long list of films to watch, she even discovered that Star Wars had a new trilogy.

 

Weeks passed and not once Carol dared to call Natasha, she wanted to but felt like she would bother her.

 

One morning though, when Carol came back from her jogging, her phone rang and a smile formed on her lips as she saw the name of the redhead on the caller ID, "Hey Cap, haven't seen you around in a while."

 

Her smile turned into a grin as she heard Natasha's voice, deep and soft, as usual, "Well, it seems Nick doesn't need me."

 

Natasha chuckled, "But I do. Clint doesn't want to spar with me anymore, he got tired of getting his ass kicked. Would you like to be my new training partner?"

 

Carol could tell that Natasha was smirking as she asked this question, even through her phone, "I guess it wouldn't hurt."

 

"Great! I'm at S.H.I.E.L.D's gym, meet you there."

 

The call was hung up before Carol could say anything more but she was so excited to see Natasha again that she didn't mind. Still in her running clothes, she figured they were appropriate to spar and left her apartment right away. She just added a leather jacket on top of her tank top for the ride on her motorcycle and headed to S.H.I.E.L.D's facilities.

 

She got lost inside the parking lot, not sure where was the gym. She asked the way to the first agent she ran into, who nicely led her there.

 

To her surprise, the gym was empty, except for one redhead practising on a punch bag. Carol slowly approached her, smiling bigger and bigger as she got closer.

 

"Hey," she eventually said when she was only a few steps away.

 

Natasha finished her sequence before glancing at the blonde, "Hi, it's good to see you!" she greeted as she wiped the sweat off her forehead with the sleeve of her hoodie.

 

"You too," Carol replied, tossing her jacket and keys on the nearest bench.

 

After a gaze at the bag, Natasha looked back at Carol, "You mind if I finish this session? I've got three more sequences and I'm done."

 

"No problem," Carol told her, standing behind the punch bag to hold it still, making it easier for Natasha to hit her strikes.

 

"So, what have you been doing during these two months?" Natasha breathed as she started another sequence of punches, "Nothing really. After my best friend helped me getting my stuff from her house, so basically just clothes, I had nothing to do. I visited DC a little."

 

"Never been here?"

 

Carol laughed, "I've been here but it kinda changed since the last time I came. Pretty sure you weren't even born at the time."

 

Natasha chuckled between two sequences, "My brain still has a hard time processing the fact that you aren't my age."

 

"You think I look like I'm your age?" Carol asked, surprised that Natasha would think she looked so young.

 

Her capacity of ageing had slowed since she got her powers, her body barely aged, maybe only a few years, so it seemed like she was still twenty nine. She felt like she was older though, older than the age that she was supposed to have – 54 – but that sure had something to do with all the experiences she had in her life.

 

Over the years, after hundreds of trips across the universe, Carol started to forget about the concept of age and only remembered it when she came back to Earth to visit Maria and Monica. Now that Nick wanted her here all the time, she would have to get used to it again and act like she was her body's age, not her real one or life experience's one, in order to blend in the society.

 

"Yep, still looking good Cap!" the redhead replied with a smirk before starting her penultimate sequence.

 

They finished in silence, Carol admiring Natasha's technique as she punched and kicked the bag, all her motion perfectly executed. The blonde realised that sparring with her might be more difficult than what she expected, she hadn't have a good opponent for a while and a fight against Natasha as a new start of frequent combat training could end up badly for Carol.

 

As she caught her breath, Natasha stretched her arms towards Carol and she knew the redhead was asking her help to take off her boxing gloves. Carol put them on the bench with Natasha's belonging, beside where she put hers and brought her the bottle of water that was on the floor.

 

"Thanks," Natasha panted as Carol handed her the bottle. She pointed at the mat on her right as she drank and Carol went there, Natasha joining her after she took off her hoodie. She was already sweating a lot because of the training she did while Carol was driving to join her, and Carol had to look away to not stare at her form-hugging tank top, her abs more than distinguishable.

 

Carol stretched a little, bouncing up and down, "Should I play fair or do I use every fighting techniques I learned in space," she teased and Natasha chuckled, "Let's see if you can beat me with those."

 

Her hands up to her chin, Natasha took a side step to the right and Carol mirrored her doing, smirking. The observed each other for a bit and it took Carol a hot minutes to notice that Natasha was left handed, her guard being symmetrical to Carol's.

 

She was very grateful to see it in time, otherwise Natasha's first attack would have been successful. She didn't completely fail, though. Yes, Carol blocked her left hook but it gave the redhead an opening that she didn't miss and punched her in the stomach. This hit unbalanced Carol and Natasha took this opportunity to tackle her, the blonde falling on her butt.

 

"It seems the fight is fair," Natasha teased, "want a hand?" she added, offering her limb to help Carol back on her feet but the later pushed it away and stood up on her own, "Game on," she said as she cracked her neck and Natasha smirked.

 

This time the fight was close, they exchanged punches, dodged some, received some, but nothing too hard to take. None of Carol's Kree fighting techniques worked on Natasha, she was too observant, too smart to be surprised, even by things she never encountered, "You'll teach me that one later," she teased as she dodged another special attack from the Captain.

 

They went on and on with short sequences of combat, both enjoying themselves, smiling at each other in the calmer moments, provoking and teasing, but more serious when the punches came close and almost hit them.

 

During one longer exchange, Carol found an opening she would never have dreamt of against such a skilled fighter like Natasha, but since the seriousness of the sparring wasn't at its maximum, it wasn't that surprising that Natasha wasn't a hundred percent of her time fully on her guard. After a nicely done right hook in Natasha's right shoulder, the redhead had the reflex to put her hand on her sore joint, leaving her midsection totally exposed. With the momentum from her punch, Carol rotated on her right foot and kicked Natasha in her ribcage, sending her down on the mat.

 

Proud of herself for knocking down Natasha Romanoff, Carol grinned but it quickly faded away as she realised the redhead wasn't stand up.

 

"Natasha," she said, suddenly worried that she might have hurt her severely.

 

Natasha had her feet tucked under her butt, leaning forward with her forehead on the mat. She was breathing heavily and clenching her fists hard, her nails probably scratching her own skin.

 

Carol crouched beside her and delicately put her hand on the other woman's shoulder. She didn't know what else to do and just rubbed Natasha's shoulder for a few more seconds until she straightened up, a single tears rolling down her cheek.

 

"Sorry," she muttered, looking down at the mat as she wiped the tear away.

 

Carol didn't understand why she apologised and wondered why she reacted that way, "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" she asked as she sat crossed-legs, her hand not leaving Natasha's shoulder.

 

Natasha shook her head, "I'm okay. You didn't hurt me, quite the contrary, you helped."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

Natasha looked up and found Carol's gaze, her swollen eyes making Carol's heart ache, "You kicked me in a rib that… um, Banner broke," the Hulk did, but Carol supposed Natasha couldn't say his name without being triggered even more, "I found out it was broken two weeks later. It didn't really bother me until it did, you know..." she laughed nervously and Carol moved closer, knowing it wasn't easy for a woman like Natasha to open up and talk about her trauma, "It just all became dark when I fell and I was back on the helicarrier, running for my life," she looked at her shoulder, Carol's hand still gently stroking it, "but you helped, so thank you Carol."

 

Carol felt suddenly emotional. It had been her job for so long to help people and it never felt so much rewarding than now with Natasha. She was glad she helped her fight her demons, and proud of her for succeeding at fighting them. She didn't know why, but Carol had this need of protecting Natasha, from other people and from herself, and knowing that she could do it made her even more determined to keep doing it.

 

After gently squeezing Natasha's shoulder, Carol stood up and gave her her hand, pulling her back on her feet.

 

"Wanna keep going?" Natasha asked and Carol shook her head, "We've been here for more than an hour, I think we're done for today."

 

They went to the bench where their stuff were, Natasha putting them all on the floor before walking away, "I'll be right back," she told Carol and disappeared in another room.

 

Carol sat down on the bench, swallowing to try to humidify her dry throat, still a bit shaken up by what Natasha told her. She couldn't stop thinking about it, she knew when she heard Natasha in her earpiece that things were going sideways but Nick wouldn't let her help and she dumbly obeyed. Carol hated herself for letting Natasha in this situation, she could have prevented this trauma, she could have helped sooner, she should have…

 

A voice brought Carol back to reality, "There you go," she heard and looked up, seeing Natasha handing her a very much needed bottle of water, "Thanks," she replied as she stared at the redhead, at first sitting on the bench to drink. But then, she put her own bottle down and laid down on the bench, her head resting on Carol's thigh.

 

Carol took another long sip of water, looking away as she tried not to play with Natasha's hair. It was so tempting, it was just there, on her lap, all wavy and beautiful.

 

Finally laying eyes on Natasha, she found her softly smiling, fidgeting the fabric of her top. She was staring at Carol and laughed as Carol raised an eyebrow, "What?" Carol asked, and that made Natasha laugh even more, "I just think it's funny that I lied there and you didn't say anything."

 

"What was I supposed to do, push you off the bench?"

 

"That's what I would have done if you'd done that to me."

 

Carol gasped, acting offended, "Oh great, so you can do whatever the fuck you want but I can't."

 

"Exactly," Natasha replied as she sat up, her laughters filling the air.

 

Carol looked at her with a serious gaze but couldn't keep it for long and joined Natasha in her amusement, "Come back here," she said, pulling the redhead towards her, the back of her head pressed against her thigh. Natasha gladly obliged and laid down after taking a sip of water.

 

This time, Carol didn't resist and took a strand of red hair between her thumb and pointing finger and Natasha didn't seem to mind. Carol could see Natasha wanted to say something and kept her eyes on her, waiting for her to open up.

 

"Thank you again… for earlier," she finally managed to let out, her tone the total opposite of what it was a minute ago, heavy and hesitant.

 

"I wasn't going to let you there, Natasha."

 

At that, Natasha just hummed, her eyes wandering around.

 

"Hey," Carol whispered to get her attention, "are you dealing with it? Like talking to someone or something?"

 

"I'm talking to you now."

 

As nice as this was, Carol knew she had to scold her, "I wish I was capable of helping you heal but a professional would be better for this, Natasha."

 

She looked away again, "I know," her voice was weak and trembling, "but I don't feel like talking to a stranger about my problems."

 

Carol scoffed, "I'm not far from a stranger for you. We've known each other for two months."

 

Natasha sat up, suddenly looking more joyful, "And I intend to change that. I have a few days off since I almost die on my last mission, so we are going to spend time together."

 

Carol, who was drinking, almost choked on her water, "You what?"

 

"Just a bullet that passed really close to my head, nothing really."

 

"You better not die now that you promised me time with you," Carol warned, standing up to take her stuff, "and don't think I forgot about the other conversation, if I'm the one you want to talk to we will talk."

 

"I count on that," Natasha replied and noticed Carol was putting her jacket on, "Going somewhere?"

 

"I mean, it's lunch time and I'm like super hungry."

 

"Wanna try S.H.I.E.L.D's canteen," Natasha asked with a smirk.

 

"Why do I feel like it sucks?"

 

And she couldn't have been more right, the food looked, smelled and tasted like garbage, even the water tasted like it wasn't potable.

 

"Please, tell me you don't eat here everyday," Carol said in the middle of the meal, tossing her fork away as she grimaced.

 

Natasha chuckled, "Only when I come here to train and I'm too lazy to go back to my place."

 

"Oh, my God, I wanna see what Natasha Romanoff's place looks like."

 

"It's nothing really, not worth the trip."

 

"Hmm, I'm letting you go with this but we are definitely going to your place one day."

 

They didn't know what to do for the rest of the day and just walked around, Natasha introducing Carol to some people she knew until a thought crossed the redhead's mind, "What happens if you shoot me with your sparkling hands?"

 

Carol chuckled, sparkling hands was one of the many nicknames people gave to her powers, "Photon blasts, that's how I call it. And I wouldn't try, for what I've seen it kinda hurt."

 

"Okay but what if we try on a dummy," Natasha said and started to walk faster.

 

"What's that?" Carol asked as they entered a room full of weapons.

 

They passed another door and arrived in a shooting range, "I can enter the infos about my weight and height in this," Natasha showed Carol a computer screen, "and then if you shoot at one of these it will simulate it like I was your target."

 

It sounded like a very funny idea, but Carol wasn't sure they could just go in and do that, "Are we allowed to just use S.H.I.E.L.D's stuff?"

 

Her eyes on the screen, Natasha replied, "You are a level 8, it shouldn't be a problem."

 

"What?"

 

Natasha looked up at Carol, "Your level of clearance. I'm level 6, but you are a field commander, so you are a level 8."

 

Again, Carol wondered how she could have a higher rank or whatever was a clearance level than Natasha when she had never worked here, apart from one mission. She supposed it had something to do with the fact that she was hiding her identity to all the employees of S.H.I.E.L.D and only the people with higher level of clearance than her knew who she really was, as well as Clint and Natasha.

 

"Okay, it should work now," Natasha said and pointed at one of the target, "do your thing Cap!"

 

Carol rose her hand up and clenched it into a fist, all the energy in her channelled in her extremity. She didn't even need it to shine to shoot a photon blast but she did for the show, golden and blue beams of light hovering around her skin. After a smirk at Natasha, she shot a short blast and the target got completely destroyed in dozens of pieces.

 

Natasha looked at the screen with excitment as the computer created the simulation. Carol joined her just in time to see how she would shatter Natasha's whole ribcage with a blast like this one.

 

"It says I wouldn't die," Natasha laughed. Wouldn't die on the moment, yes, but of her injuries, that was a possibility.

 

"I wasn't at full strength," Carol said, not wanting to brag but that was surely how it sounded.

 

"Well, please don't ever photon blast me."

 

Carol chuckled, "Not in my plan, don't worry."

 

She was about to say more when Natasha's phone rang. She picked up but stayed in the room, Carol taking a few steps back so she wasn't tempted to eavesdrop. Natasha walked back to her a minute or so later with a smirk, "So, Hill was watching us and just yelled at me for using this for fun and my argument about testing your powers of course didn't work. But! Since it's you I guess she let it pass but we can't have more fun here, she sent me home until Im back on duty."

 

"She can do that?" Carol asked.

 

"Yep, level 9. The only people above her are Nick and Pierce."

 

That was a very interesting point. Carol didn't know nor cared to ask about agent Hill's rank, she know she was Nick's right-hand woman but it never occurred to her that she could be that high in S.H.I.E.L.D's ranking. It was now official that Maria knew everything about Carol, she wasn't sure about that back on the helicarrier or when she picked her up to bring her to DC. She must be the person Nick trusted the most, maybe the only person he fully trusted.

 

Not sure what to say, Carol just stood there and looked around, the air starting to feel heavy. Natasha cleared her throat and Carol glanced at her, softly smiling as her cheeks turned pink.

 

"So um… I should go back at my place but um, what would you think about a drink tonight? Maybe Clint and Maria could come too," Carol proposed, even if she could imagine Nick's reaction, his proud grin if he learnt that Carol was hanging out with his agents.

 

"I'm seeing Clint when he'll be back here, I'll ask him."

 

Carol smiled, "Perfect."

 

Natasha took a step forward, "I'll see you later, Carol," she said and, after a pat on Carol's shoulder, exited the shooting range.

 

Carol stayed in the room, daydreaming, thinking about the moments she just spent with the redhead until two agents entered, and she apologised and left. As she walked towards the exit of the building, she ran into Maria Hill.

 

"Agent Hill!"

 

"Captain," she replied seriously, and Carol remembered what they said they she took her to her apartment, "Maria! We are gonna get a drink tonight with Barton and Romanoff, wanna join?"

 

Her behaviour suddenly changed, "Sure," she said with a genuine smile.

 

"Great, I guess Natasha will send you the infos since I don't know any good place here."

 

Maria nodded and walked away, leaving Carol in the hall, not sure what was the way to the parking lot. She managed to find it without asking anyone this time and figured she should learn her way around this building if she had to work here some times.

 

Back at her place, she showered and changed into casual clothing, an old rock band t-shirt and a pair of jeans, and when she got out of the bathroom she had received a text from Natasha.

 

There's a bar down your street, see you there.

 

Carol didn't waste a second and went down the stairs to the street, walked for less than five minutes and found the bar. Natasha and Clint were seated at the terrace, a beer in front of the archer. Clint was the first to see her and waved at her, "It's been a while Cap!"

 

Barely seated, Carol saw Maria from afar and called a waiter in anticipation. She joined them and ordered a soft drink, unlike the other people around the table, she had to work the next day.

 

It quickly became loud and messy, Clint and Natasha telling their best stories, from their first mission together to embarrassing details that they would rather have kept secret. Natasha's laughters were the only thing Carol could hear, it was nice to see her being happy, enjoying herself.

 

Then, they all talked about their memories with Fury and Carol noticed that only Clint didn't call him by his first name. It must mean something that Maria and Natasha, just like Carol, called him Nick considering that Carol remembered perfectly him saying everybody should call him by his last name. She kept this thought in the corner of her mind as she enjoyed the evening as much as possible.

 

She spent such a great time with them that she regretted not proposing this earlier. It was like she belonged there, like these people and she were meant to have fun together. Carol wondered how Nick knew they would get along so well when he wrote that note, how could he be so sure of that?

 

Carol honestly didn't really care, she just wanted to take the most of this evening and would, for sure, hang out more with Natasha, Maria and Clint in the future.

Chapter 8: Being a friend

Notes:

Hey y'all, I wanted to thank you for your comments and kudos, it really motivates me to keep going and make this fiction the best version of itself so please don't hesitate to tell me your thoughts, I read all the comments.

Chapter Text

As hard as it was to admit, working at S.H.I.E.L.D wasn't that bad, it was even fun some times.

 

After another two months without a call from Nick, Carol thought that he just forgot she was available to help, though she was spending a lot of time with three of his best agents so he couldn't really forget her.

 

But one morning, Carol's phone rang and the number on the caller ID was unknown. She recognised the voice on the other side in the blink of an eye, even though she had not heard it in months. Nick called her in for another rescue mission, this time only with Natasha and Clint, meaning powers were allowed and no need to say that Carol enjoyed it very much.

 

The tradition was for the duo of best friends to get a celebratory drink after successful missions and Carol was of course invited.

 

Since their first meeting at that bar close to Carol's apartment, they met frequently in bars all over the city. When it wasn't the four of them it was Clint that was missing, obligations at home he always used as an excuse. Carol didn't know if he had a family, but it was likely that he did and that they were somewhere safe, attempts on S.H.I.E.L.D's agents' family unfortunately not rare. Whether it was with the man of the band or not, the evening were always festive, each time better than the one before.

 

In the weeks following this mission, Carol had a couple others, all ending in a bar with Maria, Natasha and Clint. It was fair to say that they were more than colleagues at this point, even though none of them really talked about their personal lives, it still felt like they knew one another perfectly.

 

One of the only thing Carol learnt during these nights was that Maria was a lesbian. They once talked about exes, Carol bragging about the few S.H.I.E.L.D agents she had slept with in the early days of Fury at the head of the organisation and Maria had burst into laughters when Carol said the name of a woman who was also Maria's ex. Carol could have totally seen herself sleeping with Maria a few years ago, she was a very attractive woman after all, but now they were friend thus there was no way they would.

 

And, if Carol was being honest to herself, she kinda, sort of, developed a crush on a certain redhead. She had a hard time dealing with it, she was spending a lot of time with Natasha but they were rarely alone, and when they were it was when Natasha needed to talk about her traumas so Carol didn't feel like asking her out after these moments.

 

She hated that Maria – Rambeau – had been right from the start, she knew Carol would catch feelings for her before they even met. But how could anyone blame her, Natasha was such a good person, she was smart, funny, passionate about what she did and incredibly good looking, Carol simply couldn't not fall for her.

 

With Thanksgiving, Christmas and the new year approaching, Carol knew she wouldn't have the opportunity to see Natasha since she was going back to New Orleans for the events. She promised to herself that she would invite her after all of this, but deep down she knew she didn't have the courage to do so.

 

Her relationship with Natasha was so unexpected, like Maria Hill said, the redhead wasn't someone to trust anybody just like that, but it seemed that it was what happened with Carol. The blonde also had this resonating sentence in her brain, Love is for children, and that really didn't help her to make up her mind about how their relationship could go.

 

Back in Louisiana, Carol did her best to not think about Natasha, but she didn't help with her texts to wish Carol a merry Christmas and happy new year. The blonde thought she had avoided the subject with Maria, but it indubitably had to be mentioned once.

 

Carol's best friend was nice enough to not talk about it when Monica was here. She had a bad habit to get too much interested in Carol's love life and when it came to Natasha, the blonde preferred to keep the number of people knowing to its lowest.

 

Carol made it quick, yes, I have a crush on her. No, I'm not asking her out. Maria knew there was no way she could convince her to do it, she had to take the decision on her own.

 

The Captain went back to Washington DC with the will to see her friends again, and when Nick called her for a mission the next day, she thanked whoever heard her.

 

This time, they worked with Strike time again, and they were way more effective, listened to her orders and the mission didn't end up with a giant cut in Carol's forehead.

 

As usual, they finished their day celebrating, back in the bar down Carol's street. It came to her mind to propose to all of them to come visit her place since they were nearby but it was too late in the evening. That night, Carol had difficulties to fall asleep, the image of the redhead hunting her the second she closed her eyes.

 

The next day, after hours of wavering, Carol finally found the bravery to call Natasha. She knew the redhead had a day off and wouldn't have anything else to do, therefore she invited her in her apartment.

 

Natasha was overjoyed to finally see Carol's place and her smile when she entered couldn't tell otherwise. Carol didn't really plan anything for them to do so she just followed her as she wandered around, looking at the few objects and pictures Carol brought from Maria's house.

 

She stopped in front of an old picture of Carol with Maria and Monica during Christmas.

 

"So that's Maria, huh," Carol nodded, more looking at Natasha than at the photograph, "nice to finally put a face on the name."

 

This remark made Carol laugh, "It's not like I've been to your place."

 

Natasha took the framed picture in her hands, "True but there is nothing you've never seen there."

 

"And how can I be so sure of that?"

 

The redhead looked up at Carol and smirked, "I guess you'd have to trust me."

 

Her words sounded deep and meaningful, as if she wasn't sure Carol trusted her and waited for the confirmation. Carol wanted to tell her that she did, but the words died on her tongue and Natasha eventually changed the subject.

 

"When was that?"

 

Carol took a look at the picture to be sure, "A year before I got abducted by the Kree, 1988."

 

"How old was she?" Natasha asked, her finger pointing at Monica, "Four."

 

Natasha looked at Carol with surprise, "You are telling me she was born the same year as me," she said as she put the picture back on the shelf.

 

"Um, yeah," Carol muttered, she hadn't realised it herself.

 

"Oh, I've got something for you," Carol observed Natasha as she put her hand in the inside pocket of her jacket, taking a picture out of it, "It's the photo we took the last time we went out before you left. I wanted to give it to you sooner but you where already away and then I forgot."

 

The corners of the picture were a bit dog-eared but Carol couldn't care less about that. It was such a nice attention of Natasha to give this to her that Carol got emotional, "Thank you," she whispered as she put the photograph on the shelf, between the Christmas picture and the one where Carol and Maria were singing karaoke.

 

Carol kept staring at the picture, remembering how fun was that night and the smile on all their faces made her look at Natasha, tears in her eyes threatening to fall.

 

"Hey," Natasha said, taking a step forward to put her hand on Carol's back, "I didn't know you could cry, I thought Kree were emotionless."

 

This made Carol chuckle, "Well, I'm still half human so I guess I have emotions some times," she sniffled at locked her gaze with Natasha's, "I'm just very grateful to be friends with you guys."

 

Natasha smiled and pulled Carol closer, wrapping her arm around her shoulders, "Yeah, me too," she mumbled and looked at the picture again.

 

They stood there in silence, staring at the photo for a while. It was starting to be late, it was dark outside but Carol didn't want this moment to stop. It took her so long to invite Natasha here, she couldn't just show her the few things she had and then let her go. She needed an idea and found it by looked through the window.

 

"Follow me," she suddenly said and pulled Natasha by the arm. On the way to the door, she took a blanket and two cushions, "we might need those," she told Natasha as she gave them to her and took a chair from her dinning table.

 

They left her apartment, Natasha not questioning where they were going.

 

"I discovered this when I was visiting DC," Carol explained as she pushed a door that seemed to be locked, "I thought it was out of use until I blasted the knob and found this," she added as she let Natasha go first in the stairs.

 

Closing the door behind them, she heard a gasp from upstairs and figured Natasha was already on the roof. She joined her and put the chair down, "So, yeah… it's quite a view."

 

Natasha looked at her, her jaw dropped, "How selfish of you to never invite me here before!"

 

"You are a busy woman, Ms. Romanoff, I didn't think you'd be available."

 

"Come on, I'm always available to spend time with you."

 

Carol couldn't fight a smile as she heard that, "You want the chair or the deckchair?"

 

Natasha didn't reply and picked her choice, sitting on the deckchair. Carol had bought it after she discovered this access to the roof and often came here during the hot night of summer to look at the stars.

 

But this night, it was cold and she only had one blanket so she put the chair next to Natasha's seat and they shared the blanket. She put her feet on an unused chimney and a cushion between her neck and the backrest of the chair to be more comfortable to see the stars. Despite the lights of the city, they were visible and shining bright.

 

Carol couldn't stop herself from telling Natasha everything she knew about the stars, especially those she had seen with her own eyes. Space became more than just somewhere Carol could fly, going from planet to planet, galaxy to galaxy, she accumulated a lot of knowledge and always liked to share it with the people she cared about.

 

"You see this one there," she pointed at a the star at the end of the constellation of the Scorpio. She glanced at Natasha who nodded and looked back at the sky, "It's still in our sky but it doesn't exist anymore. I saw it dying, it was genuinely heartbreaking."

 

"Was there people living around it?"

 

"No, this side of the galaxy isn't very friendly, not a lot of species can live there."

 

Natasha chuckled, "Okay, smartass."

 

Carol gazed at Natasha in shock, "What? I've learn things up there, might as well share it!"

 

"I was messing with you," Natasha laughed, "I take it back, you are actually a dumbass."

 

Carol felt her cheeks heating up and she was grateful that it was too dark outside for Natasha to notice. It wasn't her usual reaction to blush when someone was teasing her, normally she would tease back. She used to with Natasha in the early days, but recently, since she accepted that she had a crush on her, Carol couldn't, afraid that it would be too obvious that she was flirting.

 

She saw the redhead rubbing her hands together, surely to get some heat, "Give me your hand," she said, her palm ready to receive it. Natasha didn't ask a question and obliged, a light smile on her lips. Without any effort, Carol sent energy in her hand that warmed up. Natasha's smile grew bigger as she gave Carol her other hand and sat up, "Tell me more about what you did up there."

 

After a quiet chuckle, Carol thought about her best memories and achievement. Of course her very first battle to save the Earth was what came to her mind and, even if she had already told this story to Natasha, Maria and Clint, it seemed like the redhead was still discovering it for the first time. She told her best moment with her Skrull friend Talos and how Fury lost his eye. It made Natasha laugh out loud to know that a cat did it, even though Goose was more than a simple cat but Carol kept that information to herself, it made the story funnier.

 

Carol would tell her most hilarious stories to hear Natasha's laugh, it was so genuine and full of joy that it enlightened her days. The redhead grinning and just enjoying her moment was something that Carol felt privileged to witness. She knew Natasha wasn't always this happy, but knowing that she could bring her some joy, offer her a break from all the dark things that her past put on her, make her forget about all the things that were hunting her everyday, brought Carol the feeling that she was useful.

 

It felt like Carol had been talking for ages when Natasha finally broke the contact between them and lied back on the deck chair. Carol kept staring at her, the stargazing long forgotten, and a question came to her mind, "What did you think of me the first time we met?"

 

Her green eyes still looking at the sky, Natasha replied, "That there has to be more than what I read in your file," she glanced at Carol with a smirk, "and I was right!"

 

Carol giggled, "I guess you are the smartass here."

 

"Oh yes, I am," Natasha let out a short laughter and looked back at the sky, "I could ask you the same question but I know you had my whole file so I know your first thought."

 

Carol changed her position and pressed her cheek on her knuckle, not looking away for one second, "And what was it then?"

 

Natasha swallowed, "That I'm broken."

 

"Are you?"

 

Natasha scoffed and licked her lips, "I think you know the answer."

 

It hurt Carol deep in her heart to hear this from Natasha. She had always supposed that the redhead was suffering, but the confirmation was unbearable, "I try everyday to be better after what they made me do, to overcome all I've been through. Hell, I even changed my name when I joined S.H.I.E.L.D to let my past behind but it never left, it's a part of me and I just have to live with it."

 

Carol had never asked why, but she read that Natasha's real name was actually Natalia Romanova. The modification wasn't big but it could change things in Natasha's brain, after all Carol had forgotten her past for six years, being called Vers, until Monica triggered her memories by calling her by her true name.

 

"You know, thinking I was Kree really messed up my brain. It took me some time to get to trust Maria again when I came back to Earth, I didn't know who I was anymore, but she guided me. Maybe that's what you need, someone to help you find your true self."

 

"Would you be that person?" Natasha asked immediately after Carol finished her sentence.

 

Carol looked away, she didn't know what to say, she didn't know if she was the right person for that. She would have to put her feelings away to focus on Natasha's problems, but she was actually already doing it.

 

She was about to answer when Natasha bested her, "I'd get it if you say no, I'm not sure I can be fixed. But I just feel like I can talk to you so I thought-"

 

"I was going to say that it'd be an honour," she replied and smiled, "I mean, you're already using me as your shrink, we are just making it official."

 

"Oh, so do I have to pay you?" Natasha joked, making Carol's smile turning into a grin, "Keep your money, I'm happy to help."

 

Her eyes up in the sky, Carol remembered something, "Eh, talking about your 'problems'," she air quoted, "did you get the text from Tony?"

 

She received it during her vacation, thinking it was Nick who needed her urgently for a mission but after only a few words she recognised Tony's arrogance, even through a phone he was full of himself. He wanted to present them his new tower, their tower in a way, since he called it the Avengers tower. He wanted them all to be there, Natasha, Clint, Bruce – who already lived there – Carol and Thor and he even invited Nick and Maria.

 

What concerned Carol was Bruce. Natasha was far from being over her trauma with the Hulk, she knew it, but she wasn't sure she could handle seeing him.

 

"I did and I see where you are going with this."

 

"Okay then, are we going?"

 

Natasha sat up and scratched the back of her head, "I guess we won't know if I can be in the same room as him if I don't try. And if you are here it should be fine," she said and stood up.

 

"What are you doing?" Carol asked, following Natasha, "It's late Carol. You know, some people need to sleep at night."

 

"You could stay," Carol said before thinking about her words.

 

Natasha looked back at Carol with a sad smile, "It's not safe for anyone to sleep in the same bed as me. I rather go back to my place."

 

"I can take the couch," Carol offered but she saw it on Natasha's face that it was a lost cause.

 

"This is something you are not ready for, but thanks for the offer," Natasha said, her head down and voice trembling. Carol didn't argue, it wouldn't change Natasha's choice, so she waved at her and the redhead did the same before going down the stairs and left.

 

Carol released a sigh she hadn't realised she was holding. Natasha mentioned only once that she could barely sleep at night and as much as she tried to get more infos the redhead gave her nothing. She could imagine what it was though, Carol went through that herself when she was on Hala. She had nightmares most of the nights, her sleep was bad and she supposed that was what was happening to Natasha too. But it could be worse, she could have night terrors and what was awful with these was that she wouldn't remember them. Maybe that was why Natasha didn't gave details about why she couldn't sleep, she simply didn't know. She must know she was agitated in her dreams since she said it wasn't safe, but the fact that it could be more created a knot in Carol's stomach, she had to know if those sort of things happened to Natasha, otherwise how could she help her?

 

Back in her apartment, Carol tried to forget about this idea, but her brain was all over it and she spent most of the night thinking she should have insisted, tell Natasha to stay. But she didn't and hated herself for that, she let her friend down on this one and promised that she would do better the next time.

Chapter 9: The team's reunited

Notes:

Trigger Warning: description of a panic attack, it's short but I rather tell you all just in case.

 

First chapter where I attempt changes the point of view, tell me in the comments if you liked it.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Organising an Avengers reunion in New York took a few weeks, three of the seven people that were going still had a daily job and needed a schedule rearrangement before being able to go. Fury had to refuse the invite, if three of his best agents – and an honorary level 8 – had to be away for a few days, he had to stay and deal with the lack of their presence.

 

They settled the meeting during the weekend of the penultimate week of March.

 

After a whole debate, the four Washington DC based Avengers decided to go to New York by car. Clint convinced Natasha and Maria, who weren't thrilled by the idea at first, that it would be fun to be the four of them in one car, chatting for the whole ride. Natasha only agreed because she wouldn't have to drive, Clint and Maria would share this task.

 

They left early the Friday morning to be at the tower for lunch, and to surprise Tony who didn't expect them until the next day. Carol had planned to sleep for the whole trip, especially after the shitty night she had, but her friends joking around made it impossible for her to fall asleep. After half an hour of unsuccessful attempts to find Morpheus' arms, Carol decided to liven things up in the car, taking the control of the music as Clint drove.

 

They changed the driver after two hours, Maria taking Clint's place and Carol going to sit in the back with Natasha.

 

This part of the trip was calmer for the ears. Instead of singing, they chattered about how they couldn't wait to see their team mates again. Oddly, Carol had missed bickering with Tony, as much as he infuriated her. As Clint mentioned Thor and Bruce, Carol noticed a change in Natasha's position, who had been sitting the same way for the two and a half hours before. The redhead suddenly looked at the sky through the window, resting her head on the palm of her hand. Carol could see that the idea of seeing Bruce again made her nervous, every time his name was said she would move slightly or take a sharp breath.

 

The blonde couldn't take it to see her like that and after another mention of his name, Carol extended her arm and took Natasha's free hand. She didn't say anything, didn't even looked at Carol or try to break the contact when their skins touched like Carol had imagined. When she squeezed her hand in support, Natasha closed her eyes and squeezed back before opening them again. The blonde knew her friend and she probably wanted to talk about it, but not right now when Clint and Maria could hear her, they didn't know about her trauma. She quickly let go, Clint looking back at them too often, they wouldn't want to have to explain why they were holding hands.

 

As the group arrived in New York, they discovered how the city had been rebuilt, for the most part it was totally back to normal, only a couple of blocks – the poorest – were still half destroyed.

 

Maria drove into the garage of the tower, and it didn't surprise any of them in the car to find a security system made by Tony to authorise, or not, their entry. The AI, Jarvis, asked the identity of the driver and her passengers, and when Maria said all their names, the screen flickered before it displayed Tony's face, "Well, if that isn't my favourite ADC and Fury's angels. You guys know you are one day early, right?"

 

"Open the gate, Stark."

 

"Agent Hill, good to see you too," he said ironically and a loud mechanical sound followed, "Meet me in the lobby."

 

The parking lot was almost empty and Maria parked on the spot the closest to the elevator.

 

"Who was I in his metaphor?" Clint asked as he gave to each their bag.

 

"Pretty sure that we," Maria pointed at Carol, Natasha and then herself, "are Nick's angels."

 

"What's an ADC?" he wondered out loud and no one replied.

 

They arrived in the lobby welcomed by Tony and two other people Carol didn't know, "You should have told me you were coming today, I had planned a whole orchestra and confetti for your arrival."

 

"Shut up," Natasha said as a greeting before giving him and quick hug.

 

"I believe only Natasha knows Pepper and Rhodey."

 

Carol looked at this tall, gorgeous woman before glancing at Tony with a smirk, "So you are the brave woman in his life. I admire you," she teased before greeting them all with short embraces.

 

It was quite a messy reunion, they were all chatting, joking around and catching up, so much that Carol didn't noticed that Bruce had joined them until she saw him saying hello to Clint. She walked toward him and salute him before discreetly sidestepping to Natasha, "You okay?"

 

The redhead seemed oddly unmoved by this unexpected encounter, "Yeah… I think I am… somehow," she vaguely replied as she stared at the man who caused her so much trouble.

 

After a few more minutes of chatters, Tony gathered everybody with a clap of his hands before leading them all to his private elevator. He showed them the floor where he was working, Bruce's laboratory as well as the med bay before Pepper and Rhodey leave while he gave them all a room for the weekend.

 

During the whole visit, Carol noticed that, even if it went well between Bruce and Natasha earlier, the redhead wouldn't stand beside him, there had to be someone – Carol – between them or she would stop walking until she was far enough of him.

 

"This floor isn't totally functional but there are enough room to fit all of you so you won't have to share a bed and be all uncomfortable."

 

Carol thought she would only be uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed as Clint, but whether it was Maria or Natasha she could handle it without trouble.

 

With no consultation, Carol and Natasha took the late two rooms of the floor, Carol's being between Natasha's and Maria's.

 

Thor wouldn't get there until the next day, which gave Carol time to just wander around the tower before the big dinner that was scheduled.

 

She ate lunch with Maria and Clint before exploring the floors Tony didn't show them, until she found Tony in his lab, "Hey Cap, wassup?" he mumbled, a screwdriver in his mouth.

 

"I was just wondering what you and Bruce have been up to for all this time in here. I know you two understand each other."

 

"Well," he took the screwdriver out of his mouth to use it, "he did his things, I did mine. The only time we worked together was when I tried to find a way to unhulk him."

 

He pointed at a little piece of hardware and Carol gave it to him, "And did it work?"

 

Tony chuckled, "If you consider that eight hours of trying to convince him until he finally came back to his right mind successful then, yes," Carol grimaced, it must have been a long day, "we did it twice and then agreed that it was pointless. Hopefully we were in a no man's land and nobody but my ego got hurt."

 

Well, two long days, "That's something we should keep working on though."

 

"We?" Tony exclaimed, "You guys are too occupied working for Nick to show up. We is just me and Bruce."

 

"And what do you want us to do?" Carol asked, her hands on her hips, "You could live here and work with us," Tony replied as he turned on the helmet of the suit he was working on.

 

"Honestly, it would be with pleasure, but for now there is no threat that need the Avengers' intervention. Natasha, Maria, Clint and I, we are fighters, spies, soldiers, we are often needed for smaller missions and having a floor here for us would just be for training."

 

"Oh! You want a gym, noted. I forgot that was something you guys enjoyed doing, pumping iron."

 

Carol laughed, "says the Iron Man."

 

He looked at her, pursing his lips as hard as possible not to laugh but didn't manage to, "Right, you guys will have a gym here one day."

 

"Thank you Tony!" she said joyfully as she walked await, "you got it, Cap!" he shouted back before the doors of the elevator closed.

 

Back in the living area, Carol finally found Natasha, though she hadn't realised she was looking for her. She was with Clint and Pepper, talking and drinking a beer when Carol nodded at her.

 

"Hey, where were you?" she asked before taking a sip of her beer, "I talked to Tony and he said something interesting."

 

"Did he now?" Natasha joked, "Tell me."

 

"He said he tried to "unhulk"," Carol air quoted, "Bruce a couple of times and didn't succeed and it gave me an idea," she felt it immediately as she saw Natasha's eyes, she wouldn't like what she had to say, "when we did unhulk him last year here, he turned back to his normal form when he saw you so maybe we could try and-"

 

Natasha cut her off, "You wanna put me in front of him? Have you even listen to anything I've been telling you for the last few months?"

 

It was a rhetorical question but Carol felt like she had to explain herself, "It's just that you triggered something in him back then, maybe it could still work."

 

"And what about what he triggers in me, huh?" she shouted, Clint and Pepper looking back at them. Natasha put her beer down on the nearest surface and walked away after a glare at Carol.

 

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Carol turned around to avoid Clint's and Pepper's confused gazes, but she could still feel their eyes on her back. She cursed herself under her breath, fuck you Danvers, she really thought her idea was good, especially after how well it went between Natasha and Bruce in the lobby. But Bruce wasn't the Hulk, and that was what terrified Natasha, what tried to kill her.

 

It had been so insensitive of Carol to propose that to the redhead, it was too early, she knew it. Or maybe it would never be possible, but she lost what was surely her only attempt to try to calm him with Natasha by tell her so early.

 

Carol needed a distraction, she needed to think about something else than how she just hurt someone she cared about so much. She looked around the floor, seeing different way to distract herself until she saw a grand piano close to the wall of windows and went to play a little.

 


 

Natasha stormed out of the living area and took the stairs to go to her room.

 

She couldn't believe Carol just proposed that. Of all people, she was the one who knew how Natasha feared him, she was the only one to know this and it didn't come to her mind that her idea would terrify the redhead.

 

Unbelievable.

 

She ran into someone on her way to her room, they were probably working for Tony, and only when they asked her if she was okay Natasha realised she was crying. She didn't stop, didn't look at them, didn't reply, she just walked fast to her room and locked the door behind her in case Carol would want to check on her.

 

Laying on her bed, Natasha wiped her tears away as she tried to slow her breathing, feeling the pressure growing bigger and bigger in her chest. She sat up and leaned forward even if she knew it wouldn't help her breathing getting better and grasped the bedsheets. She groaned and whimpered as the oxygen she needed got stuck in her throat, reaching her lungs with such difficulty that she felt like she was burning inside. Tears were back on her cheeks as she closed her eyes shut, trying to imagine a safe place to beat the panic attack that was invading her mind and taunting her.

 

What was she thinking?

 

Natasha knew she was doing it all wrong and forced herself to open her eyes and stared at her bag and the one little photograph that stuck out of it. It was the same picture as the one she gave to Carol when she went to her place, Maria, Clint, herself and Carol, in this order, grinning. She gritted her teeth and tried to remember this day, how fun it had been that night, how happy she had felt, how earlier in the same day Carol found her in S.H.I.E.L.D's gym in the middle of a panic attack.

 

The words she had told her back then echoed in her ears, I'm with you, I know it ' s hard but try to look at me.

 

She looked up, straightening her posture, as if Carol was with her, One breath at the time.

 

The first inhalation she took felt like someone was stabbing her chest, but she held it for four seconds before releasing it and taking another one. At first heavy and shaking, Natasha's breaths became steadier and slow, the last sentence Carol had told her that day were even more meaningful now, You did it.

 

Still taking big breaths by her mouth, Natasha used the hem of her t-shirt to wipe the residue of tears off her face before hearing a knock on her door, "Carol, leave me alone!" she yelled to make sure the blonde would hear her, hurting her throat in the process. She coughed as an another knock resonated in the room and before she could stand up to go tell Carol to go fuck herself face to face, another blonde entered the room.

 

"Tony taught me how to unlock the doors in case of emergency," Pepper said as she walked towards Natasha.

 

"And I am an emergency?"

 

"Well," Pepper began as she sat down on Natasha's right, the latter slightly moving away to keep her distance, "you seemed pretty shaken up up there and when I saw that Carol wasn't running after you I thought that I should."

 

Natasha scoffed, "She actually did the right thing, I really don't wanna see her right now."

 

"What happened? If I may ask?"

 

About to say that Carol was an idiot, Natasha took a second to think and realised how she had actually been trying to do the job Nick gave her, to lead a team and make it work. Yes, this idea was way too early for Natasha to even imagine it, but, in the long term, finding a way to get Bruce back would be needed.

 

"She didn't think her idea through and I overreacted, we are both stupid on this one," she finally answered, doing her best to sound convincing.

 

"Okay," Pepper whispered as she put her hand on Natasha's back, "what's the deal between you two, if I didn't know better I'd say you are dating."

 

"I don't do dating," Natasha replied way too fast, more trying to tell herself that she didn't have feelings for Carol than answering Pepper's question, "but you do like her?" Pepper asked.

 

"I do," the redhead said quietly, admitting it for the first time, "but I can't…" the words died on her tongue as she tried to make sense of it all. None of it actually made sense to her, the way Carol made her feel safe when she was around, the way Natasha yearned to be with the blonde all the time, all these feelings were absurd. It wasn't her to feel like this, or maybe it wasn't who she was told to be, but either way she didn't know how to deal with it.

 

"You know, before he found me, Tony didn't do dating as well. But things happened and he realised he liked me and look at us now. Maybe you never found the right person before, but now you have?"

 

Natasha took her head in her hands, a million thoughts in her brain making it impossible for her to think, "I don't know," the muffled sound of her voice sounded like a cry of desperation, Pepper's words were so right but yet so not what Natasha wanted to hear.

 

Pepper moved closer, pulling Natasha against her side, "It's a hard thing to figure out, but for what I've seen earlier, Carol really cares about you and the song she was playing when I left confirmed that she felt bad for hurting you."

 

"The song?" Natasha said suddenly, sitting up.

 

Pepper stood up, "I'm not sure what it was but it sounded sad. She is a very good pianist."

 

A pianist?

 

Natasha hummed as Pepper stopped before the door and looked back at her, "You'll be okay?" she asked and the redhead hummed again matching Pepper's gaze before she exited her room.

 

As much as it tempted Natasha to go see Carol playing the piano, she needed to wash herself from what happened in the previous half hours and went to the bathroom to take a shower, Carol's concert could wait.

 


 

Carol didn't know for how long she had been playing but it started to get dark outside, which told her she had been sitting here for at least an hour. People had left and come in and out the living area, not really paying attention to her and the sad songs she was playing. She wasn't even sure what song she was playing, if she was playing the right chords and if she was playing right at all but it really soothed her to sit and just press the keys that attracted her.

 

It had been so long since the last time she played, it was in high school, some thirty years and something ago but she'd never forget any of her lessons. When she was still a young girl, her father signed her up for the conservatoire, without her agreement of course, for her to learn music. Carol hated it at first, but as she got better and better, playing the piano became her way to escape the reality of her life. She learnt how to read music and could easily play other instruments but she always stuck to her first choice.

 

Playing random chords, one of the last songs she ever played came back to her mind and her hands mindlessly started to play it. Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word by Elton John. Back in the days she related to this song so much because sorry was the only word she wanted to hear for her dad but now it was the only thing she wanted to say to Natasha, but didn't know how to.

 

Mumbling the lyrics of the chorus, she heard footsteps coming her way and she instantly stopped playing when she saw who it was.

 

"I didn't know you could play," Natasha said, now standing beside the stool. Carol moved to the right to let Natasha sit beside her, "The only good thing my father did for me."

 

They sat there in silence, Natasha's fingertips hovering over the white keys. Carol observed her, her hands in her lap, a part of her wanting to take Natasha's but the other was too scared to even brush her skin, "I'm so sorry Natasha," she finally breathed, her voice weak and her eyes full of sorrow.

 

The redhead looked at Carol, letting her hands fall onto her lap, one of her fingers lightly pressing a key, "You were trying to do the right thing for the team, I get it. And it's a good idea, but I'm not ready for it."

 

"I know. I'm stupid, I didn't think-"

 

"Eh," Natasha whispered and took her hand, "Let's forget it, okay? I don't like it when you're sad."

 

Carol giggled as she nodded and squeezed Natasha's hand, the latter squeezing back before asking, "You play classic music?"

 

"I can play anything, I just need a score. Why?"

 

Natasha stood up, "Nothing… just wondering," she replied with a hint of a smile, "you should come eat dinner."

 

"I'll be there in a few," Carol said as she put her fingers above the keys and played some classic music she remembered.

 

Natasha's footsteps fading away, others replaced them and soon Maria was there, leaning against the piano, "So, when are you going to admit that you like her?"

 

Carol stopped playing and looked up with her eyebrows furrowed, "What?"

 

"Don't play dumb with me, Danvers. I've been sitting there, watching your whole talk, and damn, even from afar I could see how you look at her."

 

"And how do I look at her?" Carol asked, closing the fall board.

 

"Not like when you look at a friend, not like when you look at me."

 

Carol sighed, she thought she had been subtle the last few times they went out, but apparently she was wrong, "I know you two have been spending time together and you are super gay and not into me so it was kinda obvious that you would fall for her," Maria said with an amused tone as she sat on the stool, her back against the piano, "So, when are you asking her out?"

 

Carol laughed nervously, "Never."

 

Maria glanced at Carol, surprised, "You are a lot of things, Danvers, but I didn't expect you to be a coward."

 

Carol gasped and slightly shoved Maria, "Shut up!" she shouted as the dark haired woman elbowed her, "I don't think she would say yes."

 

"Remember when I took you to your place the first time," Maria asked and Carol nodded, "when I said that she liked you already, I knew it would be more than just friendly."

 

"How?"

 

"Because Natasha isn't someone who trust people just by the snap of the fingers. It takes her times, a lot of time, and for her to be so nice to you like she was back then, it had to mean that she was letting her feelings in control, which never happen to her."

 

"Okay but who says she trusts me?" Carol smartly asked but Maria had apparently thought about this for a while, "Once she told me she trusted two people in this world, Nick and Clint, and the other day she said three people, and believe me the third was you."

 

Carol took a sharp breath, she needed time to think, to process all this, "Well, even if that's true, it doesn't mean she would go on a date with me. I'm never going to risk my friendship with her."

 

"Right," Maria got up on her feet, "From now on I'll call you coward."

 

"No, you will not, otherwise she will think something's up," Carol warned as she followed Maria, "I mean, something is up."

 

"Just please shut up."

 

They walked together to the giant kitchen where everybody was and Carol automatically went to sit beside Natasha.

 

Seeing that they were all here, Tony announced that Thor wasn't coming, an unforeseen event happened and he had to be on Asgard to deal with it. Even without him, Tony wanted this weekend to be a party and had ordered a sophisticated buffet even though the big dinner was suppose to be the next day.

 

This dinner was as chaotic as it could get, Pepper scolding Tony when he did idiot things, Maria and Clint joking around, Carol telling her old air force stories. It was just like the evenings at the bar but louder and messier.

 

The laughters were filling the air but Carol didn't forget to check on Natasha every now and then, analysing her behaviour when Bruce was talking or when Tony was mentioning the Hulk. It wasn't easy to catch, but Carol had learnt to see when Natasha was uncomfortable and it happened a couple of times during the dinner. Each times, the redhead started to talk about something else with Carol or Maria and the Captain did her best to make the table change the subject.

 

But Carol talking too much gave Tony opportunities to ask question she never saw coming, "Cap, I was thinking about your powers the other time and I wondered if you glow during sex?"

 

Pepper kicked him under the table for that, Clint laughed like and idiot and the others were so embarrassed that they looked away, "You don't have to answer that," clarified Pepper.

 

"How does it have anything to do with my powers?" Carol asked Tony, genuinely interested to hear his reasoning, "Well, you work with energy, right? And sex is an exchange of energy so I thought it would make sense."

 

"Actually, it does make sense," Bruce muttered, "Maybe it does but I don't glow during sex, so let's talk about something else, shall we?"

 

"Did you ever have sex with an alien?"

 

This time, Pepper punched his arm, "What is wrong with you?"

 

"I don't know how you deal with this everyday, Pepper," Maria said as she ate a raw bit of carrot.

 

"Okay, now, serious question," Tony gathered the crowd and they all waited for him to say something stupid again, "how do you breathe in space?"

 

They all looked at him, surprised by his interesting question and Carol shrugged, "I don't know, I just do."

 

Tony pouted, "That's disappointing."

 

"Well, Carol," Rhodey began as he stood up, "you managed to shut Tony's mouth, and I think it deserves a round of applause," he added before starting to clap his hands, Pepper and Bruce quickly following him. Tony acted offended as the whole table cheered for their Captain's success, probably the best of her career.

 

The dinner ended with a much quieter Tony, but Carol assumed he was just trying to figure out how she breathed where there was no oxygen, when really the answer was just that she could. This was one of the numerous mysteries of Carol's powers. She learnt how to master all of what she could do, understood a big part of it, but there still was an unresolved category.

 

As it got late, people started to leave the table. Bruce was the first to go, then Clint, Tony and Pepper and finally Rhodey. It left Carol, Maria and Natasha around the table and the blonde could feel that Maria wanted to tease her after their conversation from earlier.

 

"I'm gonna go to bed," Carol said as she stood up.

 

"Already?" Natasha exclaimed, "I mean, we could just stay there for a bit and just… talk," she added with a calmer tone.

 

"I'm just gonna leave," muttered Maria and actually left before Carol or Natasha could say anything against it.

 

Carol sat back beside Natasha, "What do you wanna talk about?"

 

"I don't know… I just… don't wanna go to bed."

 

Carol was about to talk when they heard someone entering the room, at first thinking it was Maria who came back. But when Carol saw Natasha's face, she knew that it was Bruce.

 

"Hey," he greeted and sat in front of Carol, "I've been willing to talk to you," he pointed at Natasha.

 

"Should I leave?" Carol asked, more to Natasha than Bruce, "No," he replied, "I believe you are aware of the matter."

 

Natasha seemed confused, her brows furrowed, her arms defensively crossed against her chest. But Carol knew what it was about now, and she definitely wanted to stay.

 

"Listen, I've seen how you were around me and I'm sorry, I hadn't realised the consequences that it has on you," he didn't say what it was, but the three of them knew he was talking about the Hulk attempts to take Natasha's life on the helicarrier. But he didn't know all of the consequences, the panic attacks, the nightmares, he just knew Natasha didn't feel safe around him, "I wanna help, if that's possible. Just tell me what I can do."

 

Natasha shared a glance with Carol, looking for her support and she gave it to her with a slight nod, "I- um…We are working on it but for now I just don't think I can work with you."

 

He looked down at his hands, "I understand."

 

"But thank you," Natasha replied, trying to match his gaze but it never reached it.

 

He left without another word.

 

The silence that he left in the kitchen felt heavy, and Carol suddenly needed to go, "I think it was enough talk for tonight, don't you think?"

 

Natasha agreed by standing up and walked so fast that Carol had to run to catch up. They reached her room and Natasha almost shut the door on Carol, "Hey, you okay?" the blonde asked, not understanding Natasha's sudden swing of mood, "I can stay with you if you want."

 

"I'm fine," Natasha stated with an annoyed undertone.

 

"You sure?"

 

"I told you I'm fine, Carol. Just leave me the fuck alone!" she yelled and probably everyone on the floor heard her.

 

Carol raised her hands in the air in defeat, "Okay," she whispered and took a step back, "but just remember that I'm next-door if you need me."

 

Natasha slightly nodded and closed the door before Carol could wish her a good night. She stood there for a second, rubbing her temples, and decided to go take a shower before going to bed.

 

Under the tepid water, Carol couldn't stop thinking at everything that happened during the day. Her argument with Natasha, her conversation with Maria, their talk with Bruce, all of these confusing her brain on how she should be around he redhead. She wanted to protect her from her fears but for that she felt like she had to be close to her, to touch her, take her in her arms, and that she didn't know if she could do. There wasn't defined boundaries between her and Natasha, and she liked it, but since she got this crush on her it became harder to just be herself with Natasha.

 

Carol went to bed and vainly attempted to solve her problem as she tried to fall asleep but it didn't help her for the second task and gave up the first one to get some needed rest.

 

After her usual four hours of sleep, Carol woke up but not naturally. She heard noises through the wall that she shared with Natasha's bedroom. She hesitated to go check on her, after all Natasha clearly said that she wanted to be alone, but at the same time if she was having a nightmare she would for sure be happy that Carol came to soothe her.

 

Choosing the second option, Carol got out of her bed, putting a hoodie on as she exited her room. Standing before Natasha's door, she listened closely, trying to decipher the words that were coming from the inside. It led nowhere but the noises continued so she knocked on the door, discreetly at first but as nothing happened inside she knocked louder and the noises stopped.

 

It was dead silent in the corridor for an awful and lingering dozen of seconds and then Natasha opened the door.

 

"Hey," she whispered.

 

"Were you okay in there?" Carol asked, leaning against the door frame, "No, I fell asleep like half an hour ago and had a nightmare instantly. I think I should just… not sleep tonight."

 

"Huh-huh, not happening," Carol said as she entered without Natasha's permission, "you are getting your ass back in bed and I'm staying here."

 

"You really think that having you here will change anything?"

 

Carol shrugged, "We won't find out if we don't try. Plus I've had my sleep for the night so I can just stay awake and wake you up if I see you're agitated."

 

Natasha rolled her eyes, sort of, but pointed at the bed and Carol sat on it, her legs going all over to the other side of where she was seated. She took a pillow that she put on her lap and tapped on it, telling Natasha to come.

 

"You can't do anything straight, can you?" she laughed as she found a comfortable position, "Nothing about me is straight, I thought you knew that."

 

"Oh, yes, I know!" Natasha replied with a smile as she let her head fall on the pillow and looked at Carol, "Thank you," she muttered and closed her eyes.

 

Carol had nothing else to do and staring at Natasha, even though it was creepy as fuck. She saw Natasha's face softening as she fell into unconsciousness and, when she was sure that she was asleep, Carol slipped a strand of hair behind her ear and gently cupped her cheek, "Always there for you, Natasha."

Notes:

For those of you wondering, an ADC in the video game League of Legends is a marksman, so I thought it was appropriate to refer Clint as such.

Chapter 10: Ballet

Chapter Text

Life quickly went back to normal after the four Avengers living in Washington got back to there respective places.

 

A few missions per month, their weekly drink at the bar, this was Carol's routine. During her days off, when Natasha was available, they would go to the gym and train together, the redhead talking about her issues while and after the sessions.

 

Since they came back from New York, they barely talked about the Hulk problem and, for a moment, Carol thought that it was because of what she said back there, she thought Natasha didn't trust her on that subject anymore, but then she realised something. Natasha had only talked about him since they started this sort of therapy. Maybe now she needed to talk about the rest, her childhood, all the things she went through growing up in the Red Room. But she mostly mentioned what she was told to do after becoming the Black Widow, not how she became this person.

 

Carol didn't feel like she was helping, she just listened, but every time she would tell Natasha that maybe a therapist would be more helpful, the redhead said that she got better since they started to do this. There was no way for Carol to know if it was true, Natasha never told her when she had panic attacks nor did she ever talked about her nightmares, therefore it was impossible to know if their number had decrease or not.

 

Natasha did tell her about the panic attack she had at the tower after their argument. They were walking back to Carol's place with Maria and Natasha said she had one the first day in New York, and Carol knew it could only be at this moment and for this reason. Carol felt really bad about it and apologised again to Natasha during one of their private conversation. Of course, Natasha said it was okay, because Carol still helped in some way, but it didn't make the blonde feel any less guilty.

 

But, as the months passed and Natasha kept telling her that it was okay, the guilt disappeared.

 

She and Tony exchanged more since they left, but whenever he texted it was more to annoy her than for serious matter. She got used to it quite easily, a few texts a week, nothing too hard to handle, and it was always nice to talk with him.

 

Nothing surprised Carol anymore, she knew that when she was getting a call in the morning it was Fury for a mission, later on the day it was Clint or Natasha to tell her when they would meet for their drink and the texts were from Tony.

 

But one day, at the beginning of the afternoon, Carol received an unexpected and mysterious text form Natasha.

 

Danvers, I'm taking you out tonight. Meet me at my place at seven and make an effort on your outfit, anything but one of your rock band t-shirts.

 

At first, Carol thought she misread the contact ID, it wasn't Natasha's style to call her Danvers . But it was her and she was very serious, especially about the outfit part.

 

Carol opened her closet and searched for anything that would look more dressed-up than what she wore every day. These rock band t-shirts were the only thing she would wear outside, when she was going to S.H.I.E.L.D she had her suit. She was desperate when she finally found a loose white shirt that would look perfect with a pair of black jeans and her white Converse. She somehow also had the jacket of a suit that she must have worn once in her life and took it, even if it was hot outside. After putting on her clothes, Carol left her apartment, knowing that she would be at Natasha's early.

 

She went on foot, because taking her motorcycle would mean she'd be even more early and arrived to Natasha's building ten minutes before the time of their rendezvous. In the elevator, she quickly looked at herself in the mirror and suddenly doubted that she looked good enough. Natasha didn't say if it was a date – but why in the world would it be a date? – and Carol didn't ask where they were going either.

 

She could open one more button of her blouse to show more of her cleavage, she could have put some make-up on, – though she didn't have any – she could have done her hair better but it was too late, she was already in front of Natasha's door.

 

After a deep breath, and another one, Carol clenched her fist and knocked on the door. A few seconds passed – they felt like decades – and then she heard Natasha's voice through the door, "Come in, it's opened."

 

It surprised Carol that a woman like Natasha, an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D, would let her door open like that but she quickly forgot about it and entered.

 

"I'll be ready in five minutes," Natasha said from the bathroom as Carol closed the door.

 

Her apartment was what you could expect from Natasha Romanoff, not much personal things or furniture, no decoration and the colour of the walls were probably the same as when she got the place. Carol still felt like she could live here, it wasn't too dark or gloomy, and somehow was welcoming.

 

Taking a closer look at the shelf in the corner of the living room, Carol saw that a dozens of photographs accompanied the few books Natasha owned. There were pictures of Natasha with Clint, Maria and Fury, them all together and on the shelf above, the one at eyes level, were more recent pictures of their nights at the bars and the one they took with Tony, Thor and Bruce in New York after the battle.

 

Carol smiled as memories of these nights came back to her mind, Natasha had the same photo as the one she gave Carol when she came to her place, but there was one picture that Carol didn't remember. It was her and Natasha on a booth seat, Carol with her biggest grin and her arm around Natasha's shoulders. They were so close and so happy on this photo that it surprised Carol that she didn't remember it.

 

Hearing footsteps coming her way, she pointed at the picture, "I don't remember this, when was it taken?"

 

"It was at Maria's birthday, you were definitely very drunk when she took this one."

 

"Which is funny because I don't get drunk eas-" she didn't manage to finish her sentence as she finally turned around and saw Natasha.

 

The redhead was in a slinky knee-length black dress and colour-matching heels, her arms bare but shoulders fully covered and a V-neck that let appear her upper chest. Her shoulder-length wavy hair was up in a sophisticated bun and her curves were perfectly highlighted by the dress.

 

Carol had a hard time not staring as the redhead stood before her, it was actually impossible of her not to stare. She had never seen Natasha like this, so chic and fucking sexy .

 

"Uh- wow Natasha, you look just-… wow," Carol stammered as her gaze finally found Natasha's eyes that she made up with mascara.

 

"Looking quite good yourself, Carol," the redhead replied with a smirk, "I wasn't sure you'd find something else than your old t-shirts," she added with a playful chuckle.

 

Carol blinked and her brain finally found how to function again, "I had to go deep into my closet to find it."

 

A silence fell between them as Carol looked at the pictures again, Natasha taking a step forward to stand beside her.

 

"We should go, we have a reservation at the restaurant at seven thirty."

 

Carol nodded and let Natasha lead the way, she was the one driving after all, and the one knowing where they were going.

 

The blonde was quiet in the car, still wondering what was tonight's purpose. She convinced herself that it wasn't a date, Natasha would have told her if it was, but at the same time why would they have to dress up if it wasn't because they were going at a fancy and expansive restaurant.

 

The place where Natasha parked proved her wrong, it was a great restaurant but not one you take someone on a date with low lightening, candles, roses and great wine.

 

During the whole dinner, Carol was distracted, trying to understand the need of good outfits and it didn't go unnoticed, "Carol, are you listening?"

 

She shook her head slightly, "Sorry, I was… thinking."

 

Natasha chuckled, "Yeah, I can see that. What's going on?"

 

The option of telling the truth was there, it was surely the best one but it was not the one Carol picked. She couldn't ask Natasha if they were on a date, she wasn't ready to hear it, whether the answer was positive or negative. Both of them would make Carol even more nervous anyway, so she lied, "Just um… something that Nick told me that was kind of bothering me but don't worry, it's nothing serious."

 

She could feel it in Natasha's eyes, she didn't believe her, but, for some reasons, she didn't try to extract the truth out of her and just hummed.

 

Carol took a sip of wine before apologising again, "Sorry Natasha, you were saying?"

 

"It's so funny how you always call me by my full name."

 

Carol raised an eyebrow, "That's what you were saying?"

 

"No, I just note that, unlike everybody else, you never called me Nat."

 

Carol herself never really paid attention to that, but it was true that she had always called Natasha Natasha . There never really was a reason but the conversation they had on the roof of her building might explain why she kept on calling her Natasha and not Nat, " You said you changed your name to forget your past and Nat is short for both Natasha and Natalia so I guess I just thought that calling you that way could remind you of your past."

 

It was a logical reasoning now that she thought about it and Natasha seemed to agree, "Uh… that's actually a very good point."

 

And they went back to the subject Carol didn't listened to after that.

 

It was a quick dinner, they were out of the restaurant after a bit more than an hour.

 

Back in the car, Carol expected that they would go back to Natasha's place – even if it was still early – but the redhead drove in the direction opposite to where she lived.

 

Only when they arrived at a theatre Carol understood what they were going to do for the next few hours, "A ballet, huh?" she said as she stepped out of the car.

 

"You don't like ballet?" Natasha's sounded uncharacteristically not confident and Carol immediately reassured her, "No no, I like it. I just couldn't imagine you would take me here."

 

Natasha smirked, "I love to surprise you," her confidence was back.

 

The lobby was full of people wearing fancy suits and dresses, which helped Carol understand why she had to dress correctly. They went directly upstairs without going to the ticket counter and Natasha gave their tickets to a man who guided them to their seats. They had balcony seats, probably the best they could have in the whole theatre to see the stage perfectly and were alone in their box.

 

"How much money does this cost?" Carol asked as her eyes wandered around the whole theatre, looking at the people sitting down on the floor below them.

 

"Nothing I can't afford," Natasha confirmed mysteriously as she sat down.

 

Carol didn't ask any more questions, she was happy to spend time with Natasha and especially in such a different environment than the usual S.H.I.E.L.D's gym.

 

It was the first time she would see a whole ballet. Of course she knew what it was but she had never been to see one in her life, though she wanted to, she always thought classic dancing was beautiful.

 

Natasha got oddly nervous as the beginning of the show approached. She was sitting, her legs crossed and her thumb frenetically tapping the wood of the armrest of her chair. Carol couldn't act like she hadn't seen it, it was too hard for her to see her friend like this. Wordlessly, she put her hand on Natasha's, the latter stopping her thumb as Carol squeezed her hand gently. She looked at her direction and smiled as Carol stroked her thumb on her knuckle to soothe her.

 

The lights on the side of the audience suddenly switched off and one spot enlightened the stage. The brouhaha faded away as everybody in the theatre looked at the stage and saw the lead dancer and prima ballerina arriving. More dancers stepped on the stage under the applause of the audience and the music started.

 

Not quite sure if she should take Natasha's hand in hers again, Carol glanced at the redhead and saw that she was clenching her jaw. Worried, she leaned closer and whispered, "You okay, Natasha?"

 

Closing her eyes, Natasha cleared her throat, "I thought I would be," she admitted, her voice shaking.

 

Carol didn't think twice this time and reached Natasha's hand, giving it a squeeze before intertwining their fingers together.

 

She knew what it was about, she read it in Natasha's file but hadn't connected the dots until now, "You want to talk about it?" Carol asked in a murmur, her eyes not leaving the redhead, who was staring at the dancers on stage.

 

Natasha swallowed, "We should watch the show but um…" she finally looked at Carol, "I really need to."

 

"Okay," Carol said and moved closer, as close as she could to hear Natasha perfectly.

 

"I haven't been to a ballet or practise since… since I learnt I wasn't a ballerina," she said and let out a heavy sigh, "I'm not even sure I can dance."

 

The Red Room – that Natasha always called they or them – trained the girls they kidnapped both to be assassins and ballerinas, while brainwashing them to make them think they were only the latter. Only when S.H.I.E.L.D took her in, Natasha discovered that the ballet was only a way to make her unbreakable – as they said – and that the repetitive, endless routines were another way to train them to kill.

 

"I always thought I was learning how to do this," she nodded at the dancers on the stage, "pirouettes, pliés, when in reality they taught me how to slit throats, shoot in the heart, stab in the back… We thought we were competing to get the lead role in a ballet in Moscow when we were actually killing one another in hand to hand combat, for months, years of fights until it was just me against that one girl, who was my friend, my sister, but to survive I had to kill her… and I did."

 

Natasha closed her eyelids and a tear rolled down her cheek. She had never talked that much about her past and, even if Carol already knew it all, hearing it from Natasha made it so real. Carol brought Natasha's hand to her mouth and kissed its back, it was the only gesture she could think of to try and comfort the redhead. She closed her eyes as she kept her lips pressed against Natasha's skin, fighting her own emotions to be strong for Natasha.

 

The ballet they were supposed to watch was long forgotten when Natasha squeezed Carol's hand, the latter's gaze falling on Natasha's sorrowful one, "I never thought I could come here…" she whispered as Carol gently wiped away the tears on her cheeks, "But I knew I'd have the courage to come if you were with me."

 

"You are stronger than I'll ever be, Natasha. You don't need me to do anything, you just need to convince yourself that you can."

 

Natasha sighed sharply, "I assure you I need you. You are stuck with me, Danvers," she chuckled at the end of her sentence, a hint of her smile in the corner of her lips, but it only lasted a second.

 

Carol felt the need to share her own experience, but as she saw that Natasha was watching the ballet, she realised that it could wait. For now, she just had to be there for Natasha if she needed her, and to enjoy the show that was happening on the stage.

 

For the next hour and a half, Carol and Natasha watched the ballet in silence, the redhead's hand warm and safe in Carol's, who didn't let go until the very end and only because she had to applause the dancers for their incredible performances.

 

They slowly walked out of the theatre, Natasha's hand finding Carol's arm as the entered the lobby, navigating in the middle of the crowd to exit. Finally out on the pavement, Carol put her jacket on Natasha's shoulders, seeing that she was trembling, the night still cold in the middle of august. They arrived to where Natasha's car was parked and Carol opened the passenger seat for the redhead. She didn't even protest and sat down, giving the key to the blonde before she could ask.

 

During the ride back, Natasha was staring at Carol as she drove, and after only a few minutes she had to break the silence to know what was on the redhead's mind, "I know I'm good looking but staring is still creepy," she joked and it earned her a discreet chuckle from Natasha, "I was just… thinking about earlier. It felt like you wanted to say something but didn't."

 

Carol slightly rolled her eyes, she couldn't believe that Natasha noticed it when she wasn't at her best, "Yeah um… I just wanted to tell you something I don't really talk about…"

 

"Now I'm intrigued," Natasha said and Carol could tell she was interested by the tone of her voice.

 

"Okay, so… when I was on Hala, when I thought I was Kree, they had their leader called the Supreme Intelligence. Whenever I would do something bad I would commune with the Supreme Intelligence as a punishment for it to remind me of who I was, or who they made me."

 

"They were brainwashing you?" Natasha asked. It surprised Carol that she used the word, it was one she never used even though that was what happened to her and she expected Natasha to not use it as well, "Yeah. It told me that I had to be better, to give up my emotions and only use my brain in my decisions, give up what made me human, in a way…" she sighed, "but I never could, and I found out the truth about who I was thanks to that."

 

"And you say I'm strong."

 

"I was just an idiot who didn't like to take orders, you fought to survive."

 

"I killed to survive, Carol," Natasha corrected, "I can never be proud of that."

 

"I didn't mean that…" stationary at a traffic lights, Carol looked at Natasha and put her hand on hers, "I'm sorry, I just meant that you went through more than me, worst than me."

 

Natasha didn't reply, didn't look at her and Carol had to put her gaze back on the road as the lights turned green.

 

They didn't talk for the last minutes of the ride and Carol hated herself for what she said, she managed to hurt Natasha again. She parked the car, turned down the engine and stared at the redhead as she stayed inside, looking down at her hands.

 

"Natasha?" Carol asked quietly and the redhead chuckled, "So you opened the door for me to sit but not now?"

 

Carol sighed in relief, she thought Natasha was mad at her but she was just messing with her. She exited the car and walked to the passenger side, offering her hand to help Natasha standing up, the latter teasing Carol with a smirk.

 

They went back to Natasha's apartment, Carol hesitating to take her hand on the way but they were in front of the door before she could make a decision. They both stood there, waiting for the other to open the door, until Natasha looked at Carol with a brow raised. Carol blinked as she realised that she drove, therefore she had the keys and finally opened the door.

 

Inside, Carol didn't really know what to do and just stood in the middle of the hallway, watching Natasha as she got a rid of her heels. When she was done, Natasha turned around and laughed as she saw Carol, motionless with the keys in her hands, "You want a drink or something?"

 

Carol shook her head, realising she looked like a creep to just stand there, "I should go back to my place," she said as she walked towards Natasha, looking down at the keys, "I kinda came on foot."

 

"You what?" Natasha exclaimed, "Take my car, I'm not working tomorrow, I'll come to your place to get it."

 

"It's fine," Carol said quietly as she put the keys on the counter behind Natasha, "I need to walk anyway," to think was more what she needed, and she could do it while walking back home.

 

Natasha nodded and stepped closer, her hands carefully finding Carol's. Feeling Natasha's hands slowly sliding up her forearms, Carol looked up at Natasha and smiled before pulling her gently towards her, her arms tightly wrapped around her waist. The redhead tiptoed and tucked her head in the hollow of Carol's neck as she wrapped her arms around her shoulders. Rocking slightly, Carol pressed her lips on Natasha's temple for a soft, lingering kiss that she only broke when Natasha changed position, putting her chin on Carol's shoulder. She closed her eyes as she felt Natasha tracing circles on the back of her neck, taking in anything she could of her first hug with the redhead.

 

After one last quick kiss on Natasha's cheek, Carol pulled out of the embrace, finding Natasha smiling, "I don't think I've ever felt so good in my life," the redhead said and Carol snorted, "Me too," she replied and leaned in to kiss Natasha's cheek again, "good night, Natasha," she whispered and took a step back.

 

"Good night, Carol," Natasha murmured as Carol walked backward to the door.

 

Outside of the apartment, Carol waited until she heard Natasha locking the door to leave.

 

She strolled back to her place, the corner of her lips cocked into a smile as the feelings of Natasha holding her were still fresh and new in her mind. She had never imagined that a hug could make her feel so good, but it wasn't just that. After months, almost a year of talking with Natasha about her past, her traumas, it was the first time that she really opened up about her childhood in the Red Room.

 

It felt also really nice for Carol to have shared her experience with the Kree to Natasha. Maria was the only one who knew everything about it and the blonde thought that she could talk to Natasha about her past, trust her to keep it for herself, just like she did with Carol.

 

Back in her apartment, Carol showered before going to bed, the memories of the evening being the best lullaby for her usual difficult nights.

Chapter 11: Thanksgiving

Chapter Text

A month before Thanksgiving, Carol got a call from Tony, asking her if she and the other three Avengers living in Washington would want to come to New York for the holiday. She couldn't tell for the others, but she definitely wanted to go and get her revenge on Tony after all the pranks he pulled on her.

 

Only after Tony hang up the call Carol remembered that she was supposed to go to Louisiana for the holiday, as usual. They didn't really had any plans, Maria didn't call her to ask if she would come but it was what they always did when Carol was around. She felt like she had to call Maria and ask for her permission, after all Carol hadn't been there for months and maybe she wanted to spend time with her best friend. To Carol's surprised, Maria took it really well, encouraging her to go and have a great time with Natasha and all her friends. Carol suspected that the only reason Maria wanted her to go was to win her bet.

 

Since their night out at the theatre, Natasha and Carol had spend even more time together than they usually did and Maria heard of it all. After they came back from New York, Carol's crush for Natasha had faded, sort of, but since that night it was back and lively. The blonde opened up more about her time on Hala, her brainwashing, and all these conversations often featured a hug or a hand holding. Carol felt like she could finally really help the redhead, comforting her with small gestures, holding her tight in her arms when she felt really sad. Being close to Natasha that much gave Carol many opportunities to kiss her, opportunities that she never took because she still didn't think the redhead felt the same way, even if both Marias told her she did.

 

After an evening out, they discussed about Thanksgiving and all agreed that it would be great to go to the tower.

 

This time less generous, Fury gave his agents only two days off but loaned them a quinjet. Once again invited, he declined the offer with the same excuse, someone had to hold the fort while four of his best employees were away.

 

They all met at S.H.I.E.L.D early in the afternoon of Thanksgiving and Clint piloted the jet, heading to New York City and the Avengers tower. It took less than an hour for them to get there, way faster than the car but less fun thought Carol, and they landed on the runway Tony had built instead of the penthouse.

 

Of course, Carol had to make sure that Natasha was fine with seeing Bruce again. The redhead saw her coming, the worry in her eyes, her hand had unconsciously reaching Natasha's elbow thus she quickly reassured her, "Don't bother to ask, I'll be fine."

 

Carol snickered, "You know me too well, it's not even funny anymore."

 

They were welcomed by Tony and Thor, who was available this time, and greeted each others with quick embrace and hand shaking.

 

Through the glass celling above her, Carol could see the living room were she spent so many time the last time they were here, fighting with Natasha and making up with her. Further away was Bruce's lab – that was still under construction a few months before – and he was there, doing his science things that Carol would never understand.

 

Tony told them on the way that Pepper would join later for dinner, her meeting at Stark Industries' headquarters drawing out.

 

Before she could head to her room – if she could call the one she used the last time her room – Tony took her aside and led her to a lower floor, "You are not ready for this Cap!" he said with excitement as the door of the elevator opened, revealing a giant, full equipped gym.

 

Carol stepped in, eyes widening with surprise, jaw dropped, and she stumbled on a bench that she didn't see, "Good enough for y'all to train?" he asked and she didn't even need to answer, her face was giving it away, "you have all the toys you could ever ask for, a boxing ring, mat for free fighting. There you have all sorts of machines to work out. Back there…" he spun on himself and pointed at a door, "are the showers. You have an armoury and shooting range on the floor below and that… well, that's an empty room, if you have an idea, tell me."

 

"Is it big enough for a dance studio?" Carol wondered before she actually thought of it.

 

Tony crossed his arms and tilted his head slightly, "You dance, Cap!" it was more a surprised comment than a question but Carol still felt the need to clarify, "I don't, but it would still be useful."

 

This was the opposite of clarifying, it intrigued Tony even more, "Well, it is big enough to practise any dance I think. Might have to check but Jarvis can do that quickly."

 

"Already on it, sir," the AI's voice resonated in the whole floor, "But what would you need in it?"

 

Carol changed position, leaning her whole weight on her left leg as she put her bag down and cogitated about loud, "Well… I guess you'd need mirrors on a whole wall, you know, like in any dance studio. And maybe bars for classic dancing exercises."

 

"Classic dancing?" Tony exclaimed, "That's oddly specific. I don't see any of you in a tutu… Oh my God, Barton in a tutu, I would pay to see that," he added with an ironic undertone that earned him a laughter from Carol.

 

"Just, get that stuff there, it will be of use," Carol assured as she put the strap of her bag on her shoulder, "I'm gonna go to my room. But thanks for this, it's amazing!"

 

After putting her bag in her room, Carol checked Natasha's, but nobody replied after she knocked. Not insisting, she went back upstairs to the living area and found everybody on the couch, drinking coffees and teas. Rhodey just arrived and Bruce had joined them, Natasha still sitting as far of him as possible.

 

Carol mechanically went to sit beside Natasha, on her right, and chose tea when Maria asked what she wanted to drink, "You said you'd be fine," she said quietly to Natasha.

 

"What makes you think I'm not?"

 

Carol scoffed discreetly, "The only way you could sit further away from him would be by being in another room."

 

"I just sat on the first couch I saw," she whispered, leaning against the backrest for their conversation to be more private, "He came to say hello when you were away doing I don't know what with Tony, and everything was fine. It was just me and him, no one around and we talked quickly."

 

At first startled, Carol then smiled, "That's great, Natasha," she joyfully said before taking her cup of tea, "what did he say?" she asked and took a sip.

 

"That he was glad to see me. And then he said that he tried new things with Tony for… you know. And that it worked, so that's good for him."

 

"Okay," Carol simply replied. She wanted to say that she was glad her idea wasn't needed but it would remind Natasha things that she surely didn't want to remember.

 

They all discussed, caught up with what they all did in their lives since their last encounters. Thor recited the story of him, protecting Earth and the nine realms against Malekith with the help of Loki, who died to save him. They were all in shock to learn that, except Clint who laugh out loud, relieved that the person who messed up his brain finally got what he deserved.

 

Bruce talked about his many researches, but even with the most simple words Carol could barely understand what he meant. Rhodey and Clint shared memories of their recent missions, for the army and S.H.I.E.L.D. Both Natasha and Carol hadn't teamed up with the marksman for a long time, and them nor Maria knew why.

 

Carol noticed after a long hour of chatting that Tony was weirdly silent, unlike his usual self he didn't talk about his achievement of the last few months. Knowing the man, it was impossible that he didn't achieve anything, he was a genius after all. His behaviour worried the blonde, it wasn't like him to not brag about himself or to not interrupt people's stories with witty jokes or stupid and unnecessary comments. She would check on him later, but for now, something else bothered her.

 

"Who is making dinner?" she asked, looking at all the people in the room one by one. They all shared glances, apparently none of them knew, not even Tony.

 

"I called a caterer," said a voice coming from the stairs, "I knew Tony would forget to do it," Pepper appeared as she climbed the steps.

 

Tony pointed at her as she approached, "You are a life saver."

 

She sat beside him, "I know," she mumbled as he kissed her cheek.

 

Seeing that scene, Carol suddenly felt jealous of what they had. She wished she had someone that would do the things for her when she was too absent minded to do it herself, someone she could cuddle with at night, someone she could come home to. Looking at her left, Carol saw Natasha, her gaze on Tony and Pepper, smiling, and she wished she could just lean towards her and kiss her cheek, just like Tony did to Pepper. Natasha was that someone , the person she wanted to come back to, to hold in her arms for hours. She already had her, somehow , she got close to her by some inexplicable ways, but she wanted more, she wanted it all.

 

It was only when Maria called her name that Carol realised she had been staring at Natasha for a few minutes, too lost in her thoughts to hear what they all said.

 

What Maria was asking was a hand to refill everybody's cups, because for some reason it was her job to do it, even in Tony's tower, and for more obvious reasons she asked Carol to help her.

 

"You know, I really thought you were dead back there," she began as they walked down the stairs to go to the kitchen two floors below, "you were just sitting there, staring at her, no part of your body moving but your chest as you breathed and your eyelids as you blinked."

 

"I got lost in my thoughts, happens to anybody."

 

"Daydreaming is what you should call it."

 

Carol raised an eyebrow, "What?"

 

"You were smiling like a dumb idiot," she put down the tray with all the empty cups, "hopefully you did that when everybody was looking at Pepper talking about tonight's dinner."

 

"Did she see me?"

 

Maria blinked, "Did she see you? Danvers, come on! It's Natasha we are talking about. She didn't directly look at you but she definitely noticed you were staring at her."

 

Carol put her hands on the counter and leaned forward, shaking her head, "This is so embarrassing."

 

"Is it though?" Maria asked, oddly serious, "Let's be honest here, you are in love with her," hearing these words, Carol swallowed, "you were sitting beside the woman you love and staring at her and she just… let you do it?" Maria shrugged,"She knew you were staring, she didn't say anything, she just let you do it. Why do you think she did?"

 

"Be-cause… she didn't want to embarrass me even more in front of everybody by telling me to stop?"

 

Maria imitated the sound of a buzzer, "Wrong answer, try again."

 

"I don't know!" Carol exclaimed, taking a step back as she crossed her arms, "Please, enlighten me."

 

Maria took a deep breath and smirked, "We both know Natasha likes to joke around with us and you gave her the best opportunity to make you look like a dumbass in front of all of us. But! She didn't do it, and my genius guess is that she didn't because she liked it that you were staring at her."

 

"I don't get it."

 

"Do you like it when someone stares at you?" Maria asked.

 

Carol shook her head, "No, that's rude."

 

"How would you feel if Natasha was staring at you like you did to her?"

 

Carol took a second to think, and her eyes widened when she found her answer, "I would like it because it would mean she likes what she sees."

 

Maria clapped her hands, "Exactly. I think she likes you just as much as you like her and she takes anything you give her. I've seen you two together recently, you've been close for a couple of months, like physically close," it began after that night, and the hug, "Maybe before she wasn't into you like I thought, but now she definitely is."

 

Even with this information, Carol didn't know what to do. It wasn't like she would just go talk to Natasha and ask her out. She needed something, she needed a sign that all Maria's suspicions were correct, that Natasha did like her.

 

Putting the filled cups back on the tray, Carol spoke up, "Don't expect to learn about me and her going on a date in the next days, I won't ask her," the blonde heard Maria sighed but continued, "she is still going through a lot, and until I can tell that she really feels better I won't add anything to her worries."

 

Carol could tell Maria wanted to argue, but they were almost back in the living room and she had to end the conversation quickly before someone could hear her, "Well, that's really thoughtful, but don't take too much time or she will think you don't actually want it," she finished her sentence in a whisper.

 

"Finally! You guys got lost or something?" Clint shouted across the floor, "Yeah, something like that," Carol replied vaguely as she gave back everyone their drinks.

 

After this conversation, it was hard for Carol to focus on all the chatters. She had so much to think about, how she wanted to do this, if there was a this. Her feelings for Natasha were very real and strong and she wouldn't manage to keep fooling people, especially Natasha, if she didn't do something about her behaviour. It was quite simple when she thought of it, she just had to stop being so drawn by the redhead in public. Stolen stares with everybody around was definitely a bad move, and Natasha was observant, she could easily catch her.

 

But the hugs and the hand touches in private, if they were needed, there was no need to stop them. It was Natasha who reached for her most of the times, Carol was just at the receiving end of those gestures, so she could still have that, and it should be enough.

 

But it wasn't, it would never be. What she wanted was Natasha, for herself, no one else, just for her. She wanted to be able to slip behind her and hug her, to take her hand when they walked side by side, to shamelessly kiss her cheeks and her temple and her forehead and her lips. Damn, how hard she wanted to kiss her lips.

 

So many wants and so many needs that needed to be fulfilled, but that couldn't been, or at least not now.

 

Time passed so fast while Carol was lost in her thoughts that she barely saw the sun getting low in the sky as the evening approached. A few people around the couches left, Thor and Rhodey, and then Pepper said that they had to get dressed properly for tonight's dinner. Natasha stood up to leave a few minutes later and, when Carol thought about doing the same, she remembered what she noticed about Tony and let her go.

 

He quickly got up and she followed him, "Mind if I walk with you?" she asked, but she would do it anyway.

 

"Sure," he said, letting her enter the elevator first.

 

"Look, I'm not going to lie, I saw you earlier and you were… well… not you."

 

He glanced at her with a strange look, and Carol could tell he understood what she meant but fake incomprehension, "You usually talk… a lot, but today you didn't. You didn't joke at the many opening we all gave you and you seem really tired, what's going on, Tony?"

 

He sighed heavily as the elevator stopped, "Let's say New York left its mark on me."

 

It was a start but still not enough of an answer, and it didn't reassured her at all, "Care to elaborate?"

 

Tony sighed again, quieter this time, "I just have some difficulties to sleep, so I spend my time working on new, better versions of my suit."

 

Trouble sleeping, that Carol knew all too well, "You tried sleeping pills?"

 

"No. It doesn't help."

 

He had nightmares, that was why he didn't want to take them. Carol did the same when she was on Hala, "Did you talk to someone about it?"

 

"Like a shrink," he laughed, "nope! Tried Bruce though, and it kinda worked."

 

As he entered the en-suite bathroom of his floor of the tower, where Pepper surely was since water was running, Carol stopped at the door, "Well, keep doing that, and if you ever need anything you know my number."

 

"That I do, Cap! I hope you enjoy my texts!" he shouted from the inside of the bathroom.

 

Carol walked away and shouted back, "They enlighten my days," she joked before taking the stairs to go change in her room.

 

Earlier this morning, she had taken the blouse she wore when she went to the theatre with Natasha and put it in her bag, a last minute change of plan for her outfit. Carol didn't understand why they should dress up for Thanksgiving, that's something she never did with Maria. It was just another dinner with her friends, she didn't see any reason for her to dress differently than her usual t-shirts. But Natasha told her that she had to, so she took the white blouse and was going to wear it, even if she had wished the redhead would be the only one having the privilege to see her in it.

 

It was half buttoned when someone knocked on her door and Carol didn't bother to finish before opening.

 

"Hey, you ready?" asked shyly Natasha before seeing the state of Carol's clothes, "guess you aren't."

 

Her eyes were on Carol's cleavage and she bit her bottom lip as she stared at her flesh-coloured bra. After a quick smirk, Carol moved away to let Natasha enter and noticed what she had on shoulder, just hanging there, "That's my jacket?" she asked, not sure to recognise her own piece of closing.

 

"Yep," Natasha replied, popping the p as she pushed herself from the door frame to step inside, "You didn't take it before leaving the other time and I never thought about giving it back to you since."

 

"Keep it!" Carol exclaimed, "you look better in it than I do."

 

"Trying to charm me, Danvers?" Natasha asked with a playful tone, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

 

Carol chuckled, "Does it work?"

 

Natasha didn't reply, instead, she took a step closer and busied Carol's hand with her jacket. With her now free hands, Natasha reached each sides of Carol's blouse and buttoned it up, one more than the last time Carol wore it, "You don't need to look sexy around them," she mumbled as she adjusted her collar, "put this on."

 

Carol complied, putting one arm in the sleeve and the other. She glanced at Natasha proudly and finally noticed her perfectly done hair, free waves falling on her shoulder and chest covered by a black jumpsuit. The redhead smiled as she hooked her arm at Carol's and brought her in front of the mirror, "We look good, don't you thing?"

 

"Perfect," Carol muttered as she analysed Natasha in the mirror and then looked right at her, "We look perfect."

 

Natasha's smile grew bigger. Wordlessly, she stood before Carol and wrapped her arms around her neck. She planted a soft kiss on Carol's cheek before tucking her head in the crook of her neck, like she always did. The blonde pulled her closer, holding her gently in her arms as she inhaled the scent of her recently washed hair.

 

Pulling out of the hug, Natasha let her hand fall back against her body and Carol reached it, at first one finger tickling her palm before the redhead intertwined her fingers with Carol's, "Let's show them how perfect we are."

 

Hand in hand, they walked down the corridor and in the elevator, Carol releasing her when the door opened. She let the redhead go first, everyone expressing how beautiful they thought she was. Carol hoped she would go unnoticed but Pepper was there, "Well, Carol, I didn't think you could look better than you already do in your usual clothes."

 

Tony was dumbstruck by his girlfriend comments, and then by Carol, "Uh… That's very true but please… look at me in my new suit."

 

Carol ignored them as they bickered about Tony's jealousy and sat on Natasha's right, "They agreed, we are perfect," Natasha said as she leaned towards Carol ear, "but I would have kept this for myself if I could have," she added, waving at Carol's outfit.

 

The blonde smile, feeling her whole body heating up as she blushed. Natasha expressly told her, twice now, that this outfit was one she should only wear with her. What did she mean by that? She didn't know, but the redhead wanted Carol to be sexy around her, and her only.

 

It was already a big mess of voices when they arrived, but it was even more now that they all standing with their glasses in hands, ready for Tony's toast.

 

"So," he said loudly to get everybody's attentions, "as the tradition wants it I'm going to tell you guys what I'm grateful for, and because I'm pretty sure it concerns us all you won't have to talk. Also if you do the food's gonna be cold."

 

It was so Tony to say this that none of them were surprised nor objected.

 

"I'm grateful for Nick Fury," they all looked at him with wide eyes, gasps and shocked "what?" coming from each corner of the table, "I know, weird right? But with his spy's lies he did something good, and that was to bring us together. Even if we don't see each other very often when we do it's always a party and I'm very grateful to have you all in my life," he glanced at Clint with a shit eating smirk, "even you arrow guy."

 

Clint laughed but didn't even try to punch Tony in revenge.

 

"A toast, to Nick Fury, and to all of us here thanks to him."

 

"To us," Natasha said first and they all followed, "To us!"

 

The chaos was back quickly as they cheered and drank. It was hard to keep up with all the discussions around the table and Carol focus only on the ones Natasha was a part of.

 

Between the entrée and main course, Natasha leaned to Carol's ear, resting her head on her shoulder, "I wish Tony had let us talked earlier."

 

"Why?" Carol asked as she saw Maria smirking in her glass of wine, amused by the two women and their closeness.

 

"Because I wanted to say that I'm grateful for you, and for all the help you gave me this past year," Natasha sat up, looking right into Carol's eyes, "Without you I would still think I'm weak and broken."

 

"Natasha…" Carol whispered before pulling the redhead into a hug.

 

At that second, all Carol's feelings for Natasha came up to the surface and she couldn't stop herself from taking her in her arms. She could have kissed her, she wanted to, so fucking much, but she knew she shouldn't, not like that, not in front of all their friends.

 

Carol ignored Clint's comment about them hugging and enjoyed every second of it, muffling a whine as Natasha pulled out.

 

As the dinner went, Carol discovered that Tony and Rhodey were like her and Maria Rambeau, chaotic teasing best friends and she was glad the Iron Man had someone like Rhodey to calm his ego. Unlike expected, it wasn't the Washington band talking together and the other having another conversation, they all chattered, joked, laughed as they ate. She had talks with Rhodey, a man she barely knew, but they shared a past – present for him – in the military.

 

"I've been informed of who you are by Tony, with Fury's permission, and I have to say I'm impressed you survived the air force back when women weren't allowed to fly combat planes."

 

"Well, officially I didn't survive…"

 

"About that-" Tony interrupted, swallowing a mouthful of mashed potatoes, "Why does Fury wanna keep you identity secret so bad? He would kill anyone out there who knew if he hadn't told them himself."

 

That was a story Carol thought she would have to tell sooner, especially knowing how curious Tony was, "Officially, I, Carol Danvers, died in 1989 in a plane crash. The person I am today, Captain Danvers, or Captain Marvel for the public, is an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D born in 1989, air force pilot prodigy and all that shit," she wanted to laugh at this part, Nick told her this after New York, that her talents at piloting was why S.H.I.E.L.D recruited her but she wasn't allowed to fly any of S.H.I.E.L.D's flying machines.

 

"But I'm both these persons, and from the moment I supposedly died to my arrival at S.H.I.E.L.D last year, I was away most of the time and Fury created this other me to cover for the moment I'd need to come back. Captain Danvers' childhood explains my non existence in the nineties and then the career I had in the eighties in the air force has been transposed in the 2000s."

 

"That doesn't explain the mystery," Tony shrugged.

 

From the corner of her eyes, Carol saw Natasha glaring daggers at him, "Can you let her talk, Stark or are you just an impatient child?" Tony was speechless, he didn't expect Natasha to make him shut his mouth like that.

 

"He fears that people would want to weaponise me," Carol continued, "like the Kree wanted to, though on Earth nobody can't just catch me and use me," or at least she hoped nobody could, she hoped S.H.I.E.L.D wasn't creating some device to try and control her somehow, "But it's first and foremost to protect the people I care about, because even if I can difficultly get caught, the people I love don't have super powers… even if they can fight back," she glanced at Natasha, thinking about the horrible things the Kree would do to her if they abducted her in order to hurt Carol.

 

She cleared her throat before finishing her monologue, "And, as Thor said once, if the universe knows that I'm from Earth and that I'd do anything to defend it, they will send stronger beings here, the higher form of war. In space, they think I'm Kree and I made sure that the Kree who knew I was from Earth wouldn't be able to come here or to tell anyone that I'm from Earth. As much as I hate to hide, it both protect my family and the planet. So, that's it."

 

It all became awfully silent as she stopped talking, everybody taking in what she just told them, "Well then, thanks!" Tony exclaimed, "I don't wanna see any more higher form of war, I've had enough with the Tamagotchi."

 

"Chitauri," said Thor.

 

Tony sighed, "Yeah, whatever."

 

Before the dessert arrived, Tony had another one of his childish yet interesting question, "How strong are you Carol?"

 

Natasha chuckled, "Spar with her and you'll see."

 

"I second that!" Maria added, the bruises she got from that last time they sparred together had lasted more a month.

 

"Okay but are you like… as strong as this individual?" he asked and tapped Thor's shoulder with the back of his hand.

 

The two long blond haired super heroes shared a gaze, both seemed unsure of who would win in a fight, "His lightening would only charge me up and make me stronger so there's that. But maybe with the hammer you can outfight me in hand to hand combat."

 

Thor grimaced, "I think you can get a rid of Mjolnir easily and then it would just be my skills against yours. The Kree are known for their quality at close range combat therefore I would not be surprised that you could beat me."

 

"Guess I'm the strongest then," Carol shrugged.

 

Tony applauded her while Natasha gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. Glancing at the woman on her left, Carol could tell that she was proud of her and it warmed up her heart. Quickly, she tilted her head and kissed the hand that was still on her shoulder.

 

The rest of the dinner happened with no more question directed at Carol. She didn't mind talking about herself but whenever she was mentioned, as Captain Marvel, everybody would look at her and it was quite oppressing.

 

But no question didn't mean no trouble. Sitting opposite to her, Maria would kick Carol under the table ever time Natasha would smile at her or lean closer to talk to her ear, and unfortunately for her ankles it happened a lot. She did it for the whole dessert, because Natasha couldn't stop looking at her, and the smallest smirk was enough for Maria to bother Carol. It crossed her mind that she could just photon blast her under the table, not a big one, just a little spark in her leg or her stomach that would stop her, but Carol was too nice and didn't.

 

As it started to get very late, or early – depending on the way you live – they all agreed that it was time for them to sleep. They went to their own rooms, Carol accompanying Natasha to the end of the corridor before going back to her room to shower.

 

She barely had the time to put on her bathrobe and take her toothbrush before she heard a knock on her door. It was of course Natasha, Carol didn't need X-ray vision to know it was her. She quickly went to open the door before going back to the bathroom. She let the door half opened and heard Natasha stepping closer, stopping just before it.

 

"Hey, I was hoping you would come celebrate Christmas with me and Clint at his place this year."

 

That, Carol didn't see coming. She spat what she had in her mouth and drank some water from the tap to buy some time. Putting her sweatpants on, she chose the ironic option to not have to reply, "He has a place? Like a real house? Not a cave or something?"

 

"Shut up!" Natasha laughed, this genuine laughter that Carol loved so much, "Yeah, a house, with a garden and all, and a Christmas tree."

 

Finally dressed, Carol exited the bathroom, sorrow on her face, "Natasha… It would be really nice to be with you for Christmas but I already missed Thanksgiving with Maria to be here-"

 

"I understand," Natasha interrupted, "you miss your best friend, that's something I can relate to."

 

Carol couldn't bare it, to disappoint Natasha, it was too hard, "I'm sorry, Natasha," she whispered as she pulled her into her arms.

 

"It's okay," Natasha replied in a plaintive voice, incapable of hiding her disillusion.

 

No, it wasn't okay. It wasn't fair that Natasha had to be sad for Christmas, alone with just Clint as company, but Carol missed Maria so much, it wouldn't be fair that she didn't have her best friend for Christmas either.

 

Nothing would make Natasha feel any better, but Carol tried, she held her tightly, her hand slowly caressing her back.

 

"I should go sleep," Natasha said, remains of deception in her tone.

 

Carol kissed her temple before letting her go, "Good night."

 

"You too," the redhead replied as she left.

 

Carol groaned, she hated this situation. She wanted to be at two places at the same time, but it wasn't one of her powers. She had to pick an option and she chose the one that hurt Natasha.

 

She had trouble sleeping that night, and barely had the four hours she needed to be fully rested. Natasha noticed it during breakfast, but Carol lied, she said she was okay because she didn't want to worry her. And she also couldn't tell her that thinking about Natasha being sad prevented her from a good night of sleep.

 

The S.H.I.E.L.D agents decided to leave after lunch, considering that it wouldn't start before three PM, they should be back in Washington for dinner at eight PM. Not all the Avengers were there anymore, Thor had to leave early in the morning, Carol didn't even have the time to say goodbye to him. Pepper was away too, emergency at Stark Industries.

 

They finished lunch around five PM and took an extremely needed coffee before packing their bags and got on board of the quinjet.

 

Clint, Natasha and Carol were there, waiting for Maria to join them, when she arrived and stayed outside of her fly back, "I'm not coming."

 

"What!" exclaimed both Carol and Natasha.

 

"Nick just called, he wants me to command from here while he deals with stuff."

 

"What stuff?" asked Clint.

 

Maria grinned, "That, none of you is allowed to know, and it's some stuff you don't have to worry about, anyway."

 

If Carol couldn't know, it meant that only one other person apart from Nick and Maria knew what it was about, so it had to be very important and dangerous, therefore not worrying about it seemed impossible.

 

Maria entered the quinjet, gave them all a goodbye hugs and stepped outside before Clint closed the rear hatch, "Let's go back home."

Chapter 12: Christmas

Chapter Text

"I've lived without you, sometimes for years, I just can keep doin' it. Yes, I miss you but I know how to deal with it while some others might not. You have a new family now, they are your new family so embrace it, enjoy it, and please don't look back at the past. We will always be there if you need us but don't let them down because of us, because of me."

 

"I will love you until the day I die but what happens then? Your life ain't gonna stop when mine does. Other people love you, maybe more than I ever did, so let them love you. Let them be there for you like I used to and when I'll be gone you'll still have so much love around you that you won't even notice I ain't there anymore."

 

"Shut up and go then! You can still make it on time."

 


 

It was cold and snowing outside, flakes slowly falling on the jumble of recently sawed logs of pine wood. The whole landscape was like painter's colour palette, but they used all of them to make lighter and darker shade of the same one, the usual colour of the clouds. It was like they reflected onto the ground, the horizon meeting the snowy grass and the sky in a blurry junction.

 

Hands cupping a mug of tea, the hot liquid warming up her body at every sip, Natasha watched the weather from the inside of her best friend's house, a couple of kids heckling in the background. In a jumper way too big for her, sweatpants and socks, the red haired woman could look at the snow for hours and never get bored.

 

Christmas was close, less than a day away. She couldn't forget about it, Lila and Cooper Barton reminding her every half hour that Santa would soon bring them presents to reward them for their good behaviours.

 

They were so innocent, Natasha thought, so naive.

 

At their age, Natasha still believed in Santa Claus, she still had no idea that it was her parents who bought her this stuffed animal she took with her everywhere she went and a few little wooden toys.

 

But then she was taken away from her childhood and innocence, by people who made her fear every little things her parents taught her before they were gone, fear trust, love, faith. Her childhood and innocence burnt down with the house she had always lived in, with her wooden toys, the stuffed animal she took everywhere with her and the people who raised her.

 

Looking at these kids, Clint's kids, she found herself grateful that they would never have to go through any of what she experienced, glad that they couldn't even imagine that something like this was possible.

 

Natasha also felt extremely privileged to be part of their lives, to see them grow. She couldn't express how thankful she was to Clint, for letting her in, trusting her enough to introduce her to his family, that was hidden because of his job.

 

There was nothing she enjoyed more than being here, in this house in the countryside close to Washington, with this family, as one of its member. Clint was her best friend, his wife, Laura, was one of her closest friends, too. For their children, she was Auntie Nat, a name she never thought she would be called one day. Natasha felt blessed to be part of this family, knowing that her own was gone and that it was impossible for her to have a new one.

 

But, even around all these people who she loved and who loved her as much, she couldn't forget the lack of one super strong blonde woman's presence. It pained her to her heart that Carol decided to go to Louisiana for the holiday, that she declined her offer to spend the holiday with her but deep down she understood.

 

After being so lucky, finding friends, a family, Natasha didn't expect to find someone else that would become essential, vital for her. Carol arrived in Natasha's life like a lot of people, through her work, but she decided to stick around so quickly, just by caring for her, worrying about her. If she was being honest, Natasha would say that she thought Carol was just doing her job back on this helicarrier, but she had proven more than once that she really cared, that the redhead was important to her.

 

More than just helping her with a PTSD that had never been diagnosed, Carol became Natasha's friend, her confidant, more than Clint would ever be. She understood her, had lived some shits in her own life and could give her advices, guide her to get better, to heal from the wounds that caused her past.

 

Carol was more than just a friend or a confidante, she was the only person Natasha had ever been attracted to. It was magnetic, supernatural, as if she was under some kind of spell that always brought her back to the blonde, and damn how she wanted to be with her. Carol was the only person capable of making her laugh until her throat was dry and her belly aching, she was the only one who ever calmed her when she had a panic attack, the only one Natasha had ever wanted to kiss.

 

Love wasn't something Natasha thought she could feel for anyone, not this kind of love. But there she was in the middle of Christmas Eve dinner, wishing she had Carol on her right, hand close enough to reach it, light fingertips brushing the sensible skin of her forearm like she knew the blonde loved to do. She wished she could lean to her ear and whisper things, comments that would make Carol blush and that she would hide with a nervous laughter, not aware that Natasha meant every single word of what she told her.

 

Sexy. Good looking. Perfect.

 

All these words that Natasha would say with an ironic tone, but that were the truth about what she thought of the blonde. She didn't know from who she was hiding because she was sure Carol felt the same way, but it somehow never felt like the right time to tell her.

 

Maria was definitely not the person she was hiding from, no, she had figured them out easily, way too easily. She could be a pain in the ass sometimes, but when it came to Carol, every time she came to talk to her, she was nice and understanding. Love wasn't her thing, dating wasn't her thing, so Natasha wanted to do it right, to take all the time she needed to open up to Carol and Maria understood that and was there to listen if the redhead felt like confiding in her.

 

As she went to bed that night, only a few minutes before Christmas day, Natasha wished Carol would have picked her over her best friend, that she would be in bed with her because this house didn't have enough space to fit them all and that they would have had to share a bed. It was selfish of her, Natasha was aware of that, but she really missed the blonde. At first it was okay, she could live without her around, even though when Carol was there Natasha's days were better. But as they grew closer, it became nearly impossible for the redhead to spend more than a few days without seeing her, hugging her, hearing her voice.

 

Thinking about Carol, Natasha couldn't fall asleep. She rolled in her bed, desperately trying to find the right position, but nothing worked. After more than an hour of unsuccessful attempts, she got out of bed and went to the living room.

 

The presents where already under the tree, Clint and Laura had placed them while Natasha was tucking Lila and Cooper in. These kids were spoiled in Natasha's opinion, but it wasn't her decision to make therefore she respected it. She still did buy only one present for each of them, things that were in the boy's list of toys he wanted and for Lila, what Clint told her to get. Natasha didn't even try to count all the presents, it would just confirm what she already thought.

 

Walking around, Natasha looked out the windows, at the night sky full of shining tiny spots, the moon barely noticeable making all the starts more visible. Staring at this dark ceiling, the redhead remembered what Carol told her about that star that she saw dying, it was genuinely heartbreaking wrtr her words. But was it as much as when Natasha heard the word no echoing in her eardrums after she had asked Carol to spend Christmas with her?

 

Natasha shook her head, she was being a child, a stupid little kid that wasn't happy because their parents didn't give them a candy. Carol had a life apart for her, she couldn't be with her all the time, as much as Natasha wanted her to.

 

Realising her behaviour didn't make sense, Natasha went back to her room, lied down in bed and closed her eyes until she would finally find unconsciousness.

 

Screams of children, that was what Natasha woke up to. Happy screams, hopefully, screams that were saying Santa came here during the night and brought us presents!!!!

 

Slowly, Natasha rolled onto her bed as she stretched, the sheets and quilt wrapped around her. She waited until the yelling had stopped, meaning the kids were playing with their toys, and went down the stairs to join the family. As expected, Natasha found Lila and Cooper playing on the floor while Laura and Clint were in the kitchen, drinking coffee.

 

"Hey, Nat," Clint greeted, handing the redhead a cup.

 

She smiled and replied sleepily, "Hi."

 

Taking a sip, she saw a flat long box, not even wrapped in paper. She figured it was Clint's present for Laura, but the latter proved her wrong, "That's for you," she said as she stepped towards Natasha, "Merry Christmas, Natasha."

 

The redhead put her cup on the counter before looking up at Laura, "Thanks," she whispered and pulled the other woman into a quick hug.

 

It was a rule they had, every year, Natasha would get a present for her best friend, Clint for his wife and Laura to Natasha.

 

Natasha could tell there was a necklace in the box, considering its shape, but she still let herself being surprised. She opened it, and gasped as she saw her silver chain linked from each end by an arrow of the same colour. Of course it meant to represent Clint, and it would perfectly remind her of him whenever they wouldn't be working together.

 

"I know that even if he is a pain in the ass you love him, so I thought why not having a reminder of him all the time."

 

"I love it, Laura. Thank you," Natasha replied as she put the necklace on, without any help.

 

The three of them stayed in the kitchen, observing the kids getting bored with their new toys after five minute of playing with them as they drank their coffees. Clint seemed to be happy with the new quiver that Natasha offered him, he had complained so much about his former one being too small that she gave in and got him a better one. Laura was wearing the scarf that Clint got for her. It was nice, shades of red and orange that enlightened her complexion and that would protect her from the cold of the winter.

 

When Natasha was about to go back upstairs to get dressed, a dull thud made Clint's kids yelped in the living room. Worried, they all ran there to see what was going on, seeing nothing through the windows until someone knocked at the door.

 

Because she was the closest to it, Natasha walked carefully towards it and opened it suddenly.

 

"I've got an invite from a Natasha Romanoff, I hope I'm not too late for the party."

 

Natasha couldn't believe it, it was Carol, in the flesh, standing on the other side of the door with the same bag she always took when she went somewhere, in a ripped pair of blue jeans and a dark hoodie.

 

Before she knew it, Natasha was outside, her bare feet on the porch, face buried in Carol's neck, holding onto her as if her life depended on it. Carol put her bag down to have both her arms free to hug the redhead, her tight embrace warming up Natasha's heart. Feeling Carol's lips pressing a kiss on the top of her head, Natasha stepped closer – even if she couldn't really be closer – and grasped the front of Carol's hoodie, definitely not ready to let her go anytime soon.

 

"Hey," whispered the blonde as her hands slid from Natasha's back to her waist. Natasha didn't pulled out, she couldn't, she needed this moment to last forever, so when Carol did it for her, gently cupping her cheek to make her look into her eyes, Natasha whined quietly, "You're here."

 

Carol was about to answer when an afraid little kid stepped out of the house, "Auntie Nat, who is it?" Cooper asked shyly, his tiny hand reaching Natasha.

 

"This is Auntie Carol," Natasha told him, stroking her fingers in his hair as Carol squatted down in front of him, "Hey buddy, what's your name?"

 

"Cooper," the little boy replied, taking a step towards Carol, "Hi Cooper, I'm a friend of your father and your Auntie Nat, it's nice to meet you."

 

"Hi," he said and rose his fist up in the air. Carol looked up at Natasha with a grin before fist-bumping his small hand.

 

Carol stood up, taking her bag in the process as Cooper went back inside the house and Clint arrived at the door, "It took you some time to get here, Cap!"

 

"Yeah, but I made it," Carol replied, glancing at Natasha who couldn't stop smiling.

 

Mindlessly, she took Carol's hand as they entered the house, gently stroking her thumb on her knuckle. They followed the archer to the living room where they found Laura and Lila sitting on the couch, the young girl on her mother's lap.

 

"You must be Carol," Laura said, taking Lila in her arms as she got up on her feet, "I'm Laura."

 

Carol stepped forward to shake her hand, letting go of Natasha's, "Well, this guy hid a wife and two kids from me, impressive," she laughed, looking back at Clint and Natasha.

 

"It's for their safety, Fury offered it to me when I joined," Clint explained.

 

Carol nodded, and then an awkward silence fell onto them. Natasha had only one wish, and it was to go back to Carol's side, to just be with her and talk, chat about how was her vacations with her best friend.

 

Hopefully for her, Cooper and Lila were both hungry and asked their parents if they could eat breakfast. With a nod, Natasha called Carol and led her to her room upstairs, giving them some very needed privacy.

 

Finally alone, Natasha observed the blonde as she put her bag on the unused desk of the room and opened it. After a minute of research in a bag that wasn't that big, a minute of impatient sighs and groans, Carol gasped with relief as she found what she sought.

 

Carol walked towards Natasha, smirking as she hid the object behind her back, "So… since I went to your apartment and saw all your pictures I've wanted to give you this, and because it's Christmas it's even more the right time."

 

Creating a little bit of suspense, Carol showed Natasha her empty hand and it earned her a punch in the biceps and a giggle. With a smile, she finally gave Natasha her gift, that was a Polaroid camera. Natasha carefully took it, analysing the object with her mouth slightly opened with surprise, "It was my brother's, and then mine when he died… he always wanted me to have it because he said I was a better photographer than him."

 

Natasha tried to thank the blonde but no word came out, it was such a personal object that she just gave her, she knew how much Carol's brother meant to her. She felt really lucky that Carol would trust her with it, "I-… thank you, r-really," she eventually stammered, enable to take her eyes off the camera, "I'm sure we can make dozens more picture for your shelf. But don't let Tony or Clint get a hold of it, they will do some shit with it, I can feel it," Carol joked as she stepped closer, tugging Natasha in her arms.

 

"Thank you," the redhead repeated in a whispered, very carefully with the object in her hand to not let it fall. After a kiss on Carol's cheek, Natasha stepped out of the embrace and went to her suit case to put the camera safe.

 

Turning on her heels, Natasha saw Carol leaning against the desk, smiling at her, "Any words from Maria since Thanksgiving?"

 

Natasha shook her head, "Radio silence. I don't know what is going on but it must be big."

 

"Surprising that we haven't been filled in, if it's really important we are the next in line to help, right?"

 

Not even sure about that, Natasha shrugged, "I don't know. And to be honest I don't wanna think about it, I just want to chill and enjoy my day off," she said as she walked towards Carol, "about that," she purred with mischief in her eyes, delicate hands sliding up Carol's forearms, "how long are you staying here?"

 

Carol looked away, suddenly sad, "I promised Monica I'd be back tomorrow…"

 

This time, Natasha looked away, at her feet as she took a step back, resting her hands on her hips, "I'm sorry Natasha," Carol apologised, closing the distance between them, "but you could come with me, and finally meet Maria and Monica."

 

"As much as I want to, I only have two more days off after today and I don't wanna waste them by spending half of the time in air planes. Because unlike you, Carol, I can't fly around."

 

Carol sighed, "I know… I'm really sorry."

 

"It's okay," the redhead muttered as she let Carol pull her in her arms. It was a bittersweet hug, not the ones Natasha preferred but it still brought her comfort to know that Carol really cared and was devastated that she hurt her again, "I'm gonna ask Nick for the days off I still haven't taken this year, I don't know if I will grant them to me but it can't hurt to try."

 

She felt Carol nodding into the embrace, holding her tighter, "I was thinking about staying in Louisiana until I'm needed back here. I wanna make the most of the time I can have with them."

 

Natasha pulled out of the hug, rubbing her shoulders gently, "I know you will, but in the mean time I would love to make the most of the little time I have with you," she said and stepped backwards in direction of the door, "Wanna go back downstairs and play with the kids, Auntie Carol?"

 

Carol bit her bottom lip as she laughed, "Lead the way, Auntie Nat."

 


 

"I feel so guilty for not being here often. But now there's the Avengers and I love spending time with them, and then I want to tell you about them, I need to, but they also need me."

 

"I can't help it, every time I'm not with her I miss her, I miss them all. But when I'm not with you I miss you. It's like I'm in two different universes and they can't coexist, but I want them to do so bad."

 

" She asked me to spend Christmas with her and I said no, and now I can't stop imagining her sad, it's killing me. "

Chapter 13: Natasha meets Maria

Chapter Text

Natasha was finally going to meet Maria. After more than a year and a half telling her about her best moment with her best friend, Carol was finally introducing her. It wasn't not like Maria didn't want to meet the redhead, quite the contrary, she asked Carol multiple times when she would finally see the great Natasha Romanoff in person, and this day had come.

 

It was only two days, one night, but Carol was nervous like she rarely had been in her life. For some obscure reasons, she cleaned the house a few hours before Natasha's arrival, as if she wanted to impress her, and spend more time in the bathroom than what she usually took in a whole week.

 

Maria watched her doing all this, amused by her stressed level and teasing her of course.

 

The redhead had insisted that she would make it on her own to Maria's house, which made Carol even more nervous and impatient because Natasha could get there any minute. Leaning against the barrier of the house's porch, Carol couldn't stop bouncing her legs, annoying her best friend in the process so that was a great bonus. Standing there arm crossed, Maria sighed every minute, glaring at Carol but it was never enough to make her stop, because she knew her best friend wouldn't say anything about her nervousness, she was too kind when it came to that.

 

When a taxi finally parked a few meters away on the side of the road, Carol straightened her posture and waited by the stairs. The corner of her lips rising up as she see Natasha exiting the car, Carol shared a glance with Maria and she could imagine all the jokes she would have made in other circumstances, You are so in love with her could also have been one of her statement. Instead, she just chuckled as Carol went down the few stairs to welcome Natasha with a warm hug.

 

She saw it in an instant, this Natasha was not the happy Natasha she saw a few weeks ago on Christmas day, something was wrong. Of course, she was trying to hide it, but Carol had learnt to read her face and could see behind her mask.

 

"It's beautiful around here," she said, and again, her tone was different, something was off, "it's good to see you."

 

Carol kissed her temple into the embrace, "you too," she whispered and stepped aside, letting Natasha go first.

 

"So you are that woman my best friend can't shut up about, huh?" Maria said as a funny greeting, earning her a little laugh from Natasha, "Am I?" she asked and turned to smirk at Carol, "It's great to finally meet you."

 

"I agree!" Maria exclaimed and pulled Natasha into a quick hug, "Come inside, I've got hot drinks," she invited and Natasha hesitantly followed her, looking back at Carol who encouraged her with a nod.

 

The host offered coffee or tea, and to Carol's surprise Natasha didn't pick the latter. Recently, she hadn't been drinking coffee after midday and she most of the time only had one coffee for her breakfast. Another thing that wasn't right, that proved that something must have happened. Carol had been gone for nearly three weeks, and they had talked everyday by texts and calls, how did she missed it?

 

It became more and more evident for the blonde that her friend wasn't fine. Maria tried to make the conversation, but Natasha's answers were short and evasive, even Carol could give better replies about Natasha's own life. She seemed tired, unlike she had been for months, and didn't laughed to Carol's dumb jokes, or when she did it was obviously forced.

 

Quickly finishing her tea, Carol went to the kitchen and called Maria to explain the situation. She needed to have a moment alone with Natasha, she needed her best friend to pretend that she had something to do, an excuse to leave so Carol could take care of Natasha, because she knew the redhead wouldn't confide in her if she felt like she could be heard.

 

Maria said she had forgotten to buy something for dinner and left, Natasha barely reacting to it. She just sat there, hands around her mug, taking an automatic sip every now and then. It was unbearable to watch, it was like they were back to square one, before all the progress they had done with all their talks after the gym.

 

Carol went to her side, took Natasha's bag and her hand and led her to her bedroom. The redhead didn't say anything, she just walked where her feet took her and stopped where Carol let go of her hand. After closing the door behind them, Carol inhaled deeply and stepped in front of Natasha, hopelessly trying to make her match her gaze.

 

"Natasha, talk to me, please. I can tell something is wrong," Carol begged, her earlier nervousness replaced by the double amount of worry.

 

The redhead glanced at her for a second, but looked down right away, "Shits happened, and it looks really bad," she mumbled, and Carol suddenly worried a thousand times more, "What? What did I miss?"

 

"Loki's spectre has been stolen and Captain America has been found with a stake in his heart, unburied from the ice he crashed into."

 

These were a lot informations to process.

 

The weapon that a madman used to control people was out there somewhere, surely in the hands of people with terrible intentions. And Steve Rogers, the guy that S.H.I.E.L.D tried to find for years, spending so much time and resources for nothing, had been found by other people and his corpse had been profaned.

 

"Do we- Do we know anything about a-any of this?" Carol stuttered, both news seeming so unreal.

 

"S.H.I.E.L.D has been tracking the guy who stole the sceptre but came back empty handed and we are only making hypothesis for Rogers' case," Natasha recited like the worst noir poem that could ever exist, "his shield was still there though, intact."

 

Carol frowned, this didn't make any same. Of all the things with value on the planet, Captain America's vibranium-made shield was the object anybody should want. Possessing it and selling it would make someone rich, very rich.

 

"Who would kill a man already dead and leave his shield? When it's made of vibranium?"

 

"Russians," Natasha replied, stoic, "they hated his image during the cold war. The stake is just there to remind us of that, or to make sure he was dead…" Natasha let out a heavy sigh, still unable to look up, "and since the shield is indestructible, they rather let it there, having it would betray everything they believe in."

 

Natasha was saying they like she used to when she talked about her past, about the Red Room. There was fear in her voice when she said this word, a light shaking in her irregular breathing that was giving her away.

 

"Hey," Carol whispered, cupping Natasha's cheek to force the eye contact, "you think it's them?"

 

No answer was needed, her eyes said it all. From what Carol knew, the Red Room had been taken down by Margaret Carter, first director of S.H.I.E.L.D, but they actually went dormant and came back to be taken down again a few years after Natasha's last moments there, in the early two thousands, by Natasha herself and Clint. Maybe it had happened again, maybe they were back. They couldn't be a hundred percent sure, but they couldn't ignore this possibility and considering how it terrified Natasha, it would become Carol priority to make sure they weren't alive again.

 

Natasha eventually nodded, her bottom lip trembling as she tried to hold a sob that escaped her mouth the second Carol took her in her arms, "It's okay. They won't do anything to you again, I promise," Carol whispered, desperately trying to reassure the redhead, but no word or soft kiss soothed her.

 

I'll kill them myself, Carol thought, the rage inside her making her blood boiling.

 

"I'll protect you, we'll figure it out together. It's gonna be okay," she added as she stoked her fingers in Natasha's red hair. With her other arm wrapped around her waist, Carol made them rock slightly, knowing that it usually calmed Natasha.

 

Carol didn't know how long they stand there, in the middle of her room, but it was only when Maria came back from her fake errand and knocked on the door that Natasha pulled out, "Yeah," Carol shouted and the owner of the house entered, "I'm gonna start making dinner," she informed.

 

Looking back at Natasha, who's back was facing the best friends, Carol sighed, "Don't make too much, I don't think she is hungry."

 

Maria nodded and left after giving Carol an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

 

Natasha cleared her throat, finally turning around, "You know you don't have to hide from her, she dealt with me and my problems, she would never judge your," Carol told her.

 

"I'm not sure from who I was hiding to be honest," the redhead said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. Carol approached, her hands mindlessly reaching Natasha's, "Not from me, right?" she asked quietly and pressed a kiss on Natasha's forehead.

 

"It's not like I could. We both know you've figured me out for a while now."

 

Carol chuckled, kissing Natasha's cheek before pulling her out of the room, "What if we try to think about something else?"

 

Natasha nodded, "That would be great."

 

And to take their minds off all these things, Carol and Maria were the best duo. They showed Natasha their comedian side, that she knew from Carol but she couldn't have imagined that she could be funnier with her associate of thirty years.

 

It took a few bad jokes, but Carol could tell that Natasha was enjoying the moment. But there was always this little reminder in Natasha's dark green eyes, that she didn't forget the potential threat that was the Red Room. The atmosphere was still going great during dinner, Natasha offering some jokes of her own to the air force best friends, jokes that worked quite well. Carol thought that Natasha had the best humour out of all the Avengers. Tony and Clint were idiots, Bruce and Thor weren't really good at it when they tried and Maria Hill just liked to annoy Carol. But Natasha was smart, her jokes witty and very original, everything that Carol loved. Or maybe it was just because it was Natasha that she laughed every single time.

 

As anticipated, Natasha didn't eat a lot, one of the thing she would do when she was anxious. Carol knew she couldn't force her, she had tried once and it didn't do any good for both of them.

 

Dinner being over, Maria left Carol and Natasha alone while she went to bed early.

 

Carol considered a few option, but knowing that Natasha must not have slept much since she learnt about the sceptre and Rogers, the choice of going to bed directly was the best. When she told the redhead, she looked at her with surprised, "Is there a room for me?" she asked, her eyes wandering around the house.

 

The blonde chuckled, "Yes, mine," she shrugged, "come on, it's a miracle that we haven't shared a bed already."

 

Natasha stared at the floor as she chewed on her lower lip, "I've been having nightmares again," she muttered, glancing up but still not matching Carol's gaze.

 

Carol joined her, gentle hands caressing her forearms, "Then it's best if I'm with you, I can try and wake you up."

 

Finally looking into her hazel eyes, Natasha smiled, her typical little smile that meant that she trusted Carol, that she was okay being vulnerable around her. Carol also knew it was the moment for her to take the lead and guide Natasha to her room, or the bathroom this time.

 

Carol had already showered before Natasha arrived – twice – so she changed in her room and laid down on the bed, waiting for the redhead to join her. When she did, Natasha was a grey tank top and matching shorts despite the outside cold weather and the inside's not that high temperature. Carol mocked herself in her head as she realised she was being a little too much protective with her will to make Natasha feel as comfortable as possible, after all if the redhead chose this outfit to be her pyjamas then it must mean she felt good in it.

 

The thought left her brain as Natasha joined her and lied on her back, head tilted to see Carol, "Could you like… hold me?" she asked shyly, and Carol even noticed her cheeks turning red.

 

"I think I'm the master at holding, so I guess I can do that," Carol replied joyfully and Natasha rolled on her side.

 

Carol moved closer, intertwining her fingers with Natasha's as she wrapped her arm around her waist and kissed her temple, "Good night Natasha."

 


 

An arm, around her neck, preventing her to breathe.

 

She was supposed to escape, she could, but it also became so hard to inhale oxygen that her brain was malfunctioning, she wasn't thinking straight. With the little strength she still had, she tried to pull this arm away from her aching throat, but nothing worked.

 

"You can still surrender if you need to," resonated in her ears. It wasn't her style, to give up, she was better than that, but she was so tired of all this training, she just wanted it to stop.

 

Closing her eyes, Natasha tapped twice on that guy's forearm, asking him to let her go. After a few seconds, she opened her eyes again and saw the cause of all her nightmares, Madam B, standing there arms crossed and shaking her head.

 

The guy didn't let go. He tightened his hold. Natasha felt like she was suffocating.

 

It didn't only feet like it, she was really suffocating.

 

Her breaths were short and didn't bring the oxygen she needed to defeat him. She started panicking.

 

Wriggling her legs all over the mat, Natasha tried to talk, to beg Madam B to let her go, but no sound came out of her mouth.

 

She was going to die. That was it, she just proved Madam B that she wasn't strong enough and the older woman decided to take her life.

 

Sloppy.

 

Weak.

 

Worthless.

 

Desperately digging her nails in this guy's skin, Natasha whimpered, groaned as she tried to scratch him.

 

She felt dizzy, light-headed, but she continued to press her fingers on his thick skin, hoping he would let her go, that it would be over.

 

With a final attempt, Natasha gritted her teeth as she dung into his flesh, blood dripping down his arm until he finally released her.

 

Finally free, Natasha inhaled deep breaths, hopelessly panting in every molecule of oxygen surrounding her.

 

On her hands and knees, she recovered from this nth fight of the day, but unfortunately for her it wasn't the last.

 

Someone had their arm around her waist, squeezing until she tried to escape, but the hold was too tight and she was too tired.

 

Natasha?

 

A hand grasped her hair, pulling it so much it felt like they were removing her brain from her skull.

 

Natasha, I'm here.

 

They were biting her, the skin of her cheek and then her forehead, she could even tell there was a mix of blood and tears streaming down her face.

 

Natasha, you're safe, listen to my voice.

 

She had been right earlier, she was going to die, this faceless attacker was better than she ever would be, stronger. It seemed like they knew her every weaknesses and used it at their advantage.

 

Fight them, Natasha, show them you are the strongest.

 

Losing wasn't an option. Losing meant dying, and she wasn't going to die today.

 

After taking a deep breath, Natasha grabbed her opponent's shirt in their back and flipped them over her head.

 

She had won.

 

She was standing on the mat, hands shaking, legs almost failing, but she was on her feet and victorious.

 

And then she was not. Madam B hit her belly with her cane. She couldn't breathe.

 

Natasha wake up!!

 


 

Panting as if she had run a marathon, Natasha woke up with a start in the light of a bedside lamp, her feet where her head was supposed to be in the bed, and Carol looking at her with worry, "It's okay, you had a nightmare, it's over now," the blonde told her but she couldn't understand what happened.

 

"I don't… I don't remember," Natasha stammered, and only at that moment she realised she was crying, "I just… felt like I was fight someone."

 

Carol cupped her cheeks, wiping the tears away, "That was me, I guess," Carol said with a laughter, "I tried to hold you, cuddle you and all but you pushed me away."

 

Natasha gasped, realising that the bites and hair pulling she felt were actually Carol kissing her and stroking her fingers in her hair.

 

"Did I hurt you?" she panted, eyes widened and filled with worry.

 

"No, I'm fine," Carol reassured, moving closer to the redhead, "You didn't hurt me, everything's okay," she added before pulling Natasha into her arms.

 

Nothing ever felt more right for Natasha than being in Carol's arms. It was like they were meant to hold each other, like Carol was born to soothe Natasha's pain whenever she needed her to. Natasha knew she just had to tuck her face in the crook of Carol's neck and let her do the rest. The rocking, gentle fingers stroked in her hair that lulled her, made her forget about all the things that terrified her everyday. The best thing in these hugs were Carol's soft kisses on her forehead, her temple and cheeks, damn how Natasha loved them.

 

But these kisses often meant that Carol would break the embrace, and once again she did, Natasha whining to complain, "Let's go back to sleep, okay?"

 

"What if I have another nightmare," Natasha pouted.

 

"If you do, I'll take care of you again."

 

If taking care of her meant another hug, Natasha was fine with that, though she rather not have another nightmare, she needed the sleep.

 

Laying down in the right direction, her head on the pillow, Natasha faced Carol this time and buried her face in her warm chest. She felt so safe at that moment, Carol's arms holding her, her fingertips lightly caressing her skin. Carol holding her like this worked as a sleeping pill, Natasha so relaxed that she fell asleep within minutes.

 

When she woke up again, a weak beam of sunshine was enlightening the room and she was alone in bed. It didn't surprise her, Carol didn't sleep much and the sun was rising in the sky, meaning she had to get up.

 

Natasha learnt Carol's routine when she told her more about her past life, the air force with Maria, Monica's birth, the Kree. Natasha could see herself in Carol, in some of the things she lived. They had a lot in common, but were so different at the same time. Carol had more experiences, she could help Natasha going through her traumas, she had done it herself, after she broke free from the Kree. Carol was to Natasha what Maria was to Carol, but the redhead didn't want to keep it platonic.

 

At first, when she joined S.H.I.E.L.D, Natasha thought she wasn't made for relationships, that dating wasn't her thing, but Carol helped her realise that she wanted it, with her.

 

Yawning, Natasha got out of bed and let her feet wander where they wanted. In the living room, she saw a blonde head sticking out of a window and went out to join her.

 

Carol was sitting on the swing seat, on the patio under the porch. She had a blanket around her shoulders and a mug in her hands.

 

The redhead wordlessly sat beside her, Carol sharing the blanket with her. After she took a sip of her hot drink, Natasha seized the mug and drank the liquid, her eyes widening at the taste, "This tea is amazing," she said, her voice huskier than its usual.

 

"You would have known if you had tried it yesterday afternoon instead of taking a coffee," Carol scolded, attempting to take her drink back but Natasha drank another sip, smirking into the mug, "I needed the caffeine, I haven't been sleeping well since I got the news."

 

"I know… and I intend to change that," Carol stood up, "I'm gonna get you a cup."

 

Natasha grabbed Carol's hand, "No wait!" she exclaimed and Carol sat back on the swing, "stay here with me," Natasha purred, resting her head on Carol's shoulder.

 

Their hands still linked, Natasha gave Carol the mug back, the latter putting it down on the wooden floor before pushing the seat with her feet to make them swing lightly. Natasha suddenly felt sleepy and rubbed her eyes to try to make it go away, but it was so good to be there with Carol that she couldn't fight it.

 

Looking up at the blonde, Natasha saw that she was the only one of them feeling happy. Carol was clenching her jaw, Natasha could see it, and the way she stared at the woods in front of them said it all, "You wanna stay, don't you?"

 

Carol didn't glance away, but her cheeks blushed, Natasha had figured her out. Sighing, Carol sat up and squeezed Natasha's hand, "I really missed her but if I don't come back to DC I'll miss you. There is no scenario where I don't miss someone."

 

"You'd miss me?" Natasha asked, surprised to hear that.

 

Finally, Carol looked at Natasha, "Come on, Natasha, since we met you are the person I've seen the most. Of course I'd miss you."

 

Even if she knew it, it somehow shocked Natasha to have the confirmation. She, herself, missed Carol a lot when she was in Louisiana but she couldn't ask her to stay, Maria was her best friend and she must need the blonde as much as Natasha did. But knowing that Carol missed Natasha, that changed something, it meant Natasha was important to the blonde, maybe not as much as Maria, that was hard to beat, but she was still someone that Carol esteemed, respected and loved.

 

"You are my life now, Natasha. Us and the Avengers, we have to protect Earth. I talked about it with Maria at Christmas, and she said that I had to let her go and fully live my life with you guys," Carol sighed again, "I want to, I really do, but it's hard to just give up on her, to throw away a part of my life, as if she never was my best friend."

 

"She will always be your best friend, Carol," Natasha assured, "no one will ever change that. And if you want to keep contact with her, you can, we shouldn't be a burden for you."

 

"You are not," Carol interjected, "you are my present, and my future. It's just gonna be hard to let go of my past, but I know I can do it."

 

"Take it slowly, you don't have to stop talking to her right away. Take the time to get used to it, and if you ever need to talk you know I'm here for you."

 

Smiling, Carol nodded before wrapping her arm around Natasha's shoulders, pulling her closer to kiss her temple, "You know you mean the world to me, right?" Carol asked as she nuzzled Natasha's skin and finished her sentence with a peck on her cheek.

 

"I hoped I meant something to you," Natasha replied, sitting more comfortably, slouched on the seat with her head against Carol's chest.

 

Carol chuckled, "You are more than something," she tilted her head, cheek pressed on the top of Natasha's head.

 

For half an hour, they sat there, slowly swinging and chatting as they watched the sun rising. It was just them, keeping the other warm in their arms, opening up about things they never talked about and others they already had.

 

It was just them.

 

But what they didn't know was that Maria was in the kitchen, looking at them from afar and wondering when they would finally kiss, finally admit their feelings and enjoying fully their relationship.

Chapter 14: Back to work

Chapter Text

It was great to be back.

 

Carol had missed her routine, she had missed Washington DC and, last but not least, she had missed Natasha.

 

Unlike she expected, she hadn't seen Natasha since she came back from Louisiana, but just the fact that they were in the same city really helped, she just had to call her and they could meet up. Carol also knew that the redhead was busy, they didn't talk much over the phone after she left because she was on a mission but she could tell that she was better than when she arrived at Maria's. The joy in her voice was back, not like it was pre-Christmas but it was still encouraging and from what she told Carol she didn't have that much nightmares. She could of course be lying but it wasn't something Natasha did with Carol.

 

It was only her third day back in the capital but she already felt like home. She knew she would soon be called for a mission, considering what Natasha told her a week ago, Nick couldn't not involve her. Whoever did these things, whether it was the sceptre theft or the Captain America case, it was huge enough for the director of S.H.I.E.L.D to keep it as secret as possible, until he would need to fix things.

 

This day would arrive, Carol knew it, but, in the meantime, she went back to her routine and enjoyed her days.

 

On this Monday, just as the sun started to rise in the cloudy sky, Carol went out for her morning run on the paths following the waters in the touristic city centre. She loved to run at this time of the day, it was calm, not crowded, only a few other fellow joggers working on their cardio. Carol was usually a loner when it came to running, but that morning, as she overtook someone as they passed by the Jefferson Memorial, Carol noticed their sweater of the Air National Guards.

 

"Air force, huh?" she began as she ran backwards, slowing her pace, "I know that all too well."

 

The guy caught up and they jogged side by side, not too fast to be able to talk, "Para-rescue, you?"

 

Carol didn't reply right away, she couldn't tell the truth to a stranger. She couldn't tell him that she was in the air force in the eighties and that at the time a ban prevented women to fly combats planes and to get deployed.

 

"Never got the time to go anywhere," she lied, not very convincing but she couldn't find anything better.

 

"Physical or psychological?"

 

Shit , he was curious, "I guess both," Carol told, thinking about one of her old colleague, "Fucked up my hand and that fucked up my brain for a while. I just… really missed flying," she still did, she had not flown like she used to since she settled down on Earth, the only few times she went the air lasted only a few minutes.

 

"I get that. Not that it happened to me, I've just seen a lot of people like you."

 

"You've been in support groups?"

 

He chuckled and stopped, "I work at the VA and host some meetings," he replied and walked a few paces to joined Carol who stopped a few metres further, "Sam Wilson," he introduced himself, stretching his hand.

 

Carol looked down and shook it, "Carol Danvers."

 

He smiled, "Well, Carol, if you ever need to share some of your experiences, our door is opened."

 

"I'll remember that," she said and started running again, heading to the United States Capitol. Surprised, Sam sprinted to reach her side, "so, whatcha doin' now?" he panted.

 

"Work for S.H.I.E.L.D, take care of my girl, among other things."

 

Did she just called Natasha her girl? Carol shook her head, it sounded very much like they were dating but that she was sure they weren't. Why the hell did I say that?

 

"Sounds exhausting," he breathed.

 

Carol chuckled, "As much as running is exhausting to you," she teased and stopped.

 

Sam sat on the grass, "That's low."

 

"He says, his ass on the ground," Carol laughed and sat beside him, "what about another lap?"

 

"Nope, I've had enough for today," he replied, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve.

 

Carol was about to offer him a coffee when she got a message from Natasha, "Duty calls," she said and stood up, offering her hand to help him stand, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Sam."

 

"You too. And don't forget to visit sometimes."

 

Her next words got muffled by the loud throbbing of an engine, that Carol recognised to be Natasha's black corvette, a gift from Nick.

 

Natasha opened the passenger window, smirking as she looked the ex air force soldier up and down, "Hey, have you seen a gorgeous tall blonde around here? She acts like she's smart and thinks she is but she's actually a dumbass and she is also very very gay.

 

Carol looked at Sam, faking confusion, "You just missed her!" he shouted and Carol smirked, "I think she went that way," the blonde added, pointing behind her.

 

"Damn, I was looking forward to spend time with her," Natasha complained.

 

Sam smirked, "that's your girl?" he asked, probably loud enough for Natasha to hear him. Carol patted his shoulder before taking a step back, "that's the one."

 

Carol entered the car, finally noticing Natasha's new haircut. Sam bent down and waved at Natasha, "How you doin'?"

 

"Hey!" the redhead greeted.

 

"I'll see you around Sam," Carol told him with a sign of the hand and she closed the window after he nodded.

 

The engine buzzed and the tyres screeched as Natasha drove fast in direction of S.H.I.E.L.D's headquarter.

 

"You look good, Natasha. And I dig the hair like this," she complimented. Natasha's red hair was straight and freshly cut at shoulder-length.

 

"It wasn't them," the redhead said with seriousness, ignoring Carol's compliments, "we aren't sure yet of who it is but they are excluded from the list of suspects."

 

She didn't need to clarify, Carol knew she was talking about Rogers and the Red Room. It was such a relief, the eventuality of them being back really scared Carol and was even worse for Natasha. It explained that she hadn't had nightmares in a few nights and looked happier.

 

Natasha's right hand being free, Carol took it and gave it a squeeze, "That's great," she said quietly, bringing Natasha's hand to her mouth and kissed her knuckle.

 

"Who was that guy?" Natasha changed the subject, "Sam Wilson, he was in the air force. I saw his sweater and couldn't resist to go talk to him."

 

"He seems nice."

 

Carol scoffed, "For the few minutes I've been talking to him, I'd say he is."

 

"Can't be nicer than me, though," Natasha teased.

 

"No one can, you are the nicest," Carol replied with a smile that the redhead reciprocated.

 

Almost at S.H.I.E.L.D, Carol finally wondered why she had been called in, "What's the mission this time?"

 

"Strike team will explain, I just know we have to get there fast."

 

Carol found it weird that Natasha didn't have more informations, she was usually the one doing the briefings pre missions. It was a first for the blonde but shouldn't be for Natasha, she hadn't always been one of the highest rank during a mission.

 

In S.H.I.E.L.D's building, they went to the armoury to get their gears and suits before joining Strike team in a quinjet. It must be a new version of these planes because they went way faster than the last time Carol embarked in them and arrived close to their point of action in the Indian ocean after a bit more than an hour.

 

Soon at range of the target, Carol gathered the team for the briefing to begin, "The Lemurian Star, a mobile satellite launch platform, has been taken by pirates ninety three minutes ago," Agent Rumlow stated.

 

"What do they want?" Carol asked, "billion and a half."

 

It couldn't be a random ship then, Carol figured, "It's ours, isn't it?"

 

"Yes, Captain."

 

Carol sighed, "Why was it here in the first place?" she asked to Rumlow but Natasha was the one to reply, "I'm sure they have a good reason."

 

"I thought he knew I wanted all the infos before sending me somewhere, I don't like it," Carol groaned, upset that Nick, once again, didn't trust her.

 

"Relax, it's not that complicated," Natasha said, sounding way to calm for someone who didn't know what was going on, or so she said.

 

Carol rolled her eyes and shook the feeling off, "How many are they?"

 

"Twenty five mercenaries led by a Georges Batroc," Rumlow showed his picture on the screen, "ex-DGSE, action division. At the top of Interpol's Red Notice, thirty six kill missions before he was demobilised. He has a rep for maximum casualties."

 

"Hostages?"

 

"Mostly techs. One officer, Jasper Sitwell," Carol recognised him from her first mission, he was the one who located Loki, "They are in the galley."

 

"Alright! I'm gonna sweep the deck for you to get on board. Natasha kill the engine and wait for instructions. You guys take care of the hostages, I want it to be perfect unlike the time I ended up saving y'all's asses. In the meantime I'll find Batroc. Let's go."

 

They all geared up, Carol taking a parachute that she wouldn't use. She sloppily fastened the straps as Natasha slowly approached her, "We are on channel seven," she told her and stepped closer, tiptoeing to whisper to her ear, "I really missed you last week."

 

Carol smirked as she put her earpiece on, "Focus on the mission, Natasha. You'll have all the time to flirt with me when we get back," she replied and at the same time, the pilot said that they were on the drop zone.

 

Opening the rear hatch, Carol saw Natasha's playful eyes and smirked, "Focus, Romanoff," she ordered and jumped out of the quinjet.

 

And there she was flying. Well, not really, she was actually free falling, but it somehow felt the same.

 

At first blinded by the clouds and the night sky, Carol finally saw the lights from the ship and dove straight to it. She slowed her fall with her powers, knowing she could do it without being all shining and get spotted by the pirates on board. It was something she learnt to do during her long time in space, not using a hundred percent of her powers all the time, which was very useful for stealth missions like this one. Landing in the water, Carol swam a few metres before reaching the giant chain of the anchor and climbed up to go on the deck.

 

With her arm around one guys neck, she made him pass out and started running further onto the boat. Knowing that Strike team was still in the quinjet – until she told them otherwise – Carol didn't hesitate to blast a few pirates, only when they were too far from her and that they would see her. The objective, like in any rescue mission, was zero casualties, unless they have to kill to survive. Carol knew how to control the energy inside her and could blast the pirate enough for them to only be knocked out but not dead. A few of them got kicked out of the ship though, and she could only hope that they would be fine.

 

For once in her life, the stealth techniques the Kree taught her were useful, and so she ran all across the deck with no one hearing her footsteps.

 

Only remained a few pirates when she told Natasha and the team to jump off the jet. She took the parachute that was still on her back off, it would look suspicious that she didn't use it. After a sharp breath she jumped in the middle of five armed men that she took care of almost too easily considering she wasn't using her powers anymore. She though everything was clear when she heard the sound of a gun and then a pirate shouting at her in French.

 

Before he could shoot her, or before she could react and neutralise him, he got shot in the back by Natasha who smoothly landed on the ship.

 

"Thanks," she said and could tell Natasha wasn't going to reply a simple You're welcomed, "Want to get a drink after this?"

 

Carol rolled her eyes but giggled, "Mission first!"

 

"I'm multitasking," Natasha replied before going on her own way to the engine room.

 

Carol headed to the control room, where she supposed Batroc would be and used a bug to confirm he was there. She could hear two people, but she couldn't understand what they said and wished she had a universal translator on this suit.

 

Now that she was in position, she just had to wait for the whole team to tell her they were ready. A minute later, a few members of Strike team gave her the green light, but it was still radio silent on the side of Natasha.

 

"You good down there, Natasha?" she asked, but got no answer.

 


 

"Hang on!" Natasha shouted in her comms as she jumped on a pirate's back, electrocuting him with her Widow's bites. After a roll on the floor, she got on her feet disarmed one and then two men, knocking them down before talking into her comms, "Engine room secure," she told Carol as she took a crowbar and hit one of the two that wasn't down with her best swing in his head.

 

Now that she was done with this mission, she had to accomplish another one, the one Nick gave her and that made her lie to Carol.

 

She searched and found the closest room with access to the data centre of the ship and got into the system to copy all S.H.I.E.L.D's intel that was there. She heard Carol asking her to go help Rumlow to evacuate the hostages, but she couldn't, she had to stay there and get what Nick asked, as much as she hated to keep Carol in the dark.

 

There was nothing for Natasha to do than wait for the computer to transfer the files on the USB stick. She was halfway through the transfer when two people smashed down the door, one of them being Carol.

 


 

Carol tackled Batroc with all her strength, throwing them both across a door and she punched him to knock him down the second they landed on the floor.

 

"Should I be jealous?" a voice asked, a few metres away from Carol.

 

She looked in its direction and found Natasha on a computer, doing anything but the orders Carol gave her, "I told you to go help Rumlow."

 

"And I was told to do this," she replied nonchalantly, nodding at the screen in front of her.

 

"Nick gave you other orders," Carol figured.

 

Natasha chuckled, "You could say that, yes."

 

Carol felt the anger growing inside her chest, Nick played her, once again, "You fucking lied to me, Natasha," she shouted as she grabbed the redhead by the arm, "you told me you didn't know anything about this mission when really you had all the infos, isn't that right?"

 

Natasha took the stick out of the computer, "Basically, yes," she said, absolutely not apologetic, as if she didn't care about lying to Carol, as if she had already done it before.

 

Carol was about to retort when they both heard noises coming from where she left Batroc. He threw a grenade at them before Carol could go kick his ass. She caught the explosive, tossed it as far as possible and ran away with Natasha to cover. Just before the explosion, Carol pushed the redhead on the floor under a desk and, by instinct, lied down on top of her to protect her. Hopefully for them the grenade was so far that only a few debris were projected on them, Carol taking the most of the impacts.

 

A few seconds later, Carol rolled on her back beside Natasha, panting, and the redhead leaned over, "You okay?" she breathed, and Carol could see panic in her eyes.

 

She wanted to get up and leave, she wanted to tell Natasha to go fuck herself because she lied, but the redhead was worried and she couldn't let her feel that way.

 

Closing her eyes, Carol swallowed and nodded, feeling Natasha's green gaze on her face, studying her smallest motions, "I'm fine," she confirmed but Natasha didn't move away, "You?" she asked and Natasha nodded, "I'm sorry," she whispered before standing up and pulling Carol off the floor.

 

Now face to face and really close, Carol felt the need to tug Natasha by the arm and take her in her arms, but as she looked at her she saw the face of the person who lied to her, who risked everybody's safety for some hard drive. After a sharp breath, Carol let go of Natasha's forearm and asked the team of the hostages were safe.

 

The quinjet landed on the ship a few minutes later for the two women to get in and took off, heading back to DC.

 

Carol felt like she was suffocating with all the people on board, she couldn't go where she wanted and, worst of it all, couldn't sit further away from Natasha.

 

It made her so mad that the redhead lied, she thought they were passed that, she thought they trusted each other, even with secret infos, but apparently she had been wrong. Bowing her head, Carol leaned forward and looked at her feet, thinking the feeling of Natasha staring at her would disappear but she knew the redhead was still sitting on the seat in front of her and that her emerald iris was fix and pupil on her.

 

"Can you stop!" she finally let out in an exclamatory groan.

 

Natasha unbuckled her seatbelt and crouched down before Carol, her hand carefully rubbing the blonde's knee, "He made me swear I wouldn't tell you. He knew that if you knew you would have been against it."

 

"Of course I would have!" Carol interjected, sitting up, "He used you because he knew I wouldn't say anything, but I'm not letting it go this time."

 

Natasha stroking her thumb on her thigh made Carol more upset than it soothed her, "He must have a good reason to ask me that. I'm sorry I lied to you, I had to."

 

This was definitely the worst apology ever and it hurt Carol more than anything. There were so many feelings in her head, banging together and making it impossible for Carol to think that she felt like crying and she knew Natasha would see it. She rubbed her eyes, trying to hide it but it had the opposite effect and Natasha noticed even faster that she didn't feel good.

 

Natasha sat beside Carol and cupped her cheeks, forcing the blonde to look at her, "Carol… talk to me," she begged but what Carol wanted was for her to fuck the hell off, "I would have told you," she eventually muttered, "if it had been me, I would have trusted you and told you," she clarified and Natasha let her hands fall off Carol's face, "I'm so sorry, Carol. I didn't mean-"

 

"But you did!" she interrupted, "you didn't mean to hurt me but you did. I thought we didn't lie to each other. Since that day," she meant when she told Natasha and the Avengers who she really was, "I've never lied to you, and I wished you didn't either."

 

"Carol…" Natasha breathed desperately, looking down at her hands.

 

"Just leave me alone, please," she requested and, after one last sad glance, Natasha got up and went to sit somewhere, as far as possible from Carol.

Chapter 15: Nick

Chapter Text

As short as it was, it was one of the longest flights Carol ever experienced. She was angry at Nick, at Natasha, at the entire world, she needed to blow off some steam but couldn't do it in here.

 

So when they finally landed in S.H.I.E.L.D's hangar, Carol stormed out of the quinjet and walked fast to Nick's office.

 

She almost kicked down the door as she opened it and went straight to his desk, where he was seated, looking at the outside world through the window, "You had to use her, huh? You had to get that low to get to me. Well, congratulations, you did!"

 

"It was not personal, Carol. I needed the intel from this ship to be safe," he replied, getting on his feet.

 

"Then you should have asked me to get them instead of giving Natasha another mission, that she did beautifully by the way."

 

Fury scoffed, "I know you, Carol, and I know you wouldn't have liked it, that's why I told her to do it."

 

"Why don't you trust me for a change? If you had explained to me what this infos meant I would have done it. But no, you had to go behind my back and lie as usual."

 

Nick straightened up his posture, and for a second Carol thought she was getting an apology from him, but of course it wasn't, "Well, let me show you that I do trust you," he said and walked to the exit of his office.

 

Carol distrustfully followed him to an elevator, and when they got there he asked the AI to get them to the Insight bay, "Captain Danvers does not have clearance for Project Insight," the computer replied, and just by the name of it, Carol didn't like that "project". It sounded like what Nick wanted to do with the Tesseract, and it was a whole load of crap so if this was in the same style, he would hear of it.

 

"Director override, Fury, Nicholas J."

 

"Confirmed," said the AI and the elevator went down.

 

"I remember a time you said that everybody should call you Fury, yet now at least three people other than me call you Nick."

 

He tilted his head and frowned, "Who?"

 

"Hill, Stark, Romanoff," Carol listed, and its the second name that surprised him, "it bother you that Tony does, doesn't it?"

 

"Unlike you, Hill and Romanoff, I never appreciated him, so yeah, I don't like it."

 

Carol pressed her lips together, doing her best not to laugh, "Pretty sure he does it to annoy you," she chuckled and saw him gritting his teeth.

 

She wanted to add more to bother him but they finally reached the level of the Insight bay.

 

Her eyes widened as she saw three helicarriers, that seemed five times bigger than the one they were on during the Loki crisis. There was hundreds of people working in and on them, dozens of quinjets on each of them, giant weapons on the bridge, the side of the helicarrier, everywhere.

 

"This is Project Insight," Nick presented, "Three next-generation helicarriers synced to a network of targeting satellite."

 

Carol sighed, "Launched by the Lemurian Star," she muttered to herself.

 

"Once we get them in the air, they never need to come down. Continuous sub-orbital flight, courtesy of our new repulsor engines," he pointed at the enormous turbines.

 

"Tony helped?" Carol wondered, "He had a few suggestions once he got an up-close look at our old turbines."

 

He proudly showed Carol all the toys on the helicarriers, the weapons, how they would work with the satellites and everything they that could be done with them, "We're gonna neutralise a lot of threats before they even happen," he concluded and that was what made Carol snap at him.

 

"What's the point of the Avengers if you have this huh?"

 

"I- you guys are meant to- for bigger threats," he stammered, it was the first time she ever heard him not sure of his words.

 

As much as it surprised her, it was also funny to her, "If we can handle bigger threats we can handle anything, that's why you asked me to work here. You can send us to fight before it happen instead of sending massive flying arsenals in the sky to menace every single person on Earth."

 

"Carol, you did a lot yourself when you were asked, killed people that didn't have to die."

 

Oh no, he didn't just mentioned the Skrulls when she was brainwashed and thought she was Kree, "How dare you use that as an argument!" she yelled, her hands clenched so hard that her skin was losing its colour, "you know damn well it wasn't my choice, and when I got the possibility to choose I did everything I could to make it right, to do better so my past mistakes would be forgiven. With these you are going to create fear, just like the Kree did to the Skrulls. You are no better than them," she finished and didn't even listen to what he still had to say.

 

Furious, she went to the armoury to get her clothes and belonging, hoping Natasha wouldn't be there waiting for her, changed and left with her motorcycle, that was there since the last time she came here.

 

She had to take her mind off everything that happened in the day and remembered the offer from Sam. Not sure where the VA was, she took a stop to search the address on her phone and drove there.

 

At first she wavered, not sure that it was her place to be around veterans since she wasn't one. But as her hand hovered above the knob of the door, she figured that it wouldn't hurt anyone if she just went to talk to Sam.

 

The inside of the building was simple but welcoming, the doors of the meeting rooms were all opened, which created an atmosphere full of trust, the soldiers knew no one who entered those doors would ever tell their stories to anybody else. There were two meetings at the same times, in opposite rooms, and Carol found Sam presiding the second one, giving each people who wanted to talk the right to speak. Carol listened to them from afar, not feeling like she could enter and sit down but she still paid close attention to the stories and they were all heartbreaking.

 

Sam was so good at his job, he guided these veterans perfectly on the path to recovery. He reminded Carol of Maria when she helped her after the whole Kree versus Skrulls situation, they were both good with people and gave good advices.

 

When the meeting was done, Sam said goodbye to every person who was there before going to see Carol, "I didn't think you'd come here so soon."

 

"Honestly, I wish I didn't feel the need to," Carol admitted, crossing her arms as she leaned against a wall.

 

Sam pouted, "Trouble in paradise?"

 

"S.H.I.E.L.D never was paradise."

 

He laughed, as if he knew that this organisation was built on lies and secrets.

 

Carol observed him as he tidied pamphlet of different support groups and a question came to her mind, "A friend of mine went through a lot, not army related but this kind of PTSD nonetheless. I've been trying to help her but I don't think I'm enough for her to completely heal, you know anything that could work?"

 

"Do we ever fully heal?" he joked as he looked for the right papers, but damn he was so right, full recovery from these trauma was almost impossible, "I've got these, not sure if it would match what your friend needs but it's worth the try."

 

Carol gave him a thanking nod as she skimmed through the pamphlets, "You give very good advice, better than any therapist ever gave me."

 

"Yeah, well, we all have the same problems, guilt, regrets. That's why these meetings were created, so the ones who are in better shape can help those who are at the bottom."

 

Carol smiled sadly, "You lose someone?" she asked but just by his last sentence she knew he did.

 

Sam sighed, "My wingman, Riley. Flying a night mission. Standard PJ rescue op, nothing we hadn't done a thousand times before until a RPG knocked Riley's dumbass out of the sky. Nothing I could do," Sam looked away, "it's like I was up there just to watch…"

 

Carol swallowed to humidify her torn throat, "I'm sorry," she said and the emotion was still visible through her mask.

 

"After that, I had a really hard time finding a reason for being over there, you know?"

 

This felt like Thor just hit her with his hammer, that was exactly what Maria told her one night after a frustrating day of talking. Maria felt guilty for six years, when Carol was with the Kree, she thought her best friend was dead and took it on her. That night, she let it all out, all the things she held back because she had to be strong for Carol, because she had to help her getting better before she could take care of her own self. That night, they realised they both felt guilty, Maria for Carol's crash and the blonde for letting her best friend down for half a decade. In the end, this conversation had helped them to move on more than all those before, but it was the yelling and sobbing that made it extremely painful and exhausting.

 

Sam was like Maria, he was the one who survived and wished he didn't. But now, Sam was helping other people and seemed to like it, "You found you're place now, though."

 

He looked around at the rooms and the people, "Yeah, I think I'm happy now," his grin was so genuine that it couldn't be fake, and it hit Carol even more, she still hadn't found what he had, this happiness.

 

"Thinking about getting out?" he asked, very fast at reading Carol's face.

 

Carol scoffed, "I can whenever I want actually, but let's say I'm still here because of some people," Natasha, Nick, even Maria Hill and Clint, that was why she hadn't quit yet, she wanted to help them.

 

"And if you had to leave, what would you do? What makes you happy?"

 

"She does," escaped her mouth before she could think of it.

 

Sam chuckled, "The woman who picked you up?"

 

Carol licked her lips to hide her smile, "That obvious, huh?" she laughed realising she wasn't fooling anyone anymore.

 

"Even if I barely know you I could tell that you don't look at people like that very often."

 

Carol tapped his shoulder, "Let's change that, then. I'm buying you a drink."

 

"Just like that, eh? Careful, she might be jealous!" he warned as they walked out of the building.

 

They went on foot to the closest café and sat at the terrace.

 

It was so easy to talk to Sam, he was a good listener and always had another question to keep the conversation going. Carol told him about Natasha lying to her for the first time – that she knew of – without mentioning the whole point of the mission. It was really hard for her to process it, she felt like the redhead betrayed her, when she never meant to. Sam told Carol that she should let Natasha explain herself, which she didn't really do. He thought she had to put herself in her shoes to understand why she lied, and that it would help Carol to forgive her.

 

The truth was that Carol couldn't hold anything against Natasha, she couldn't be mad at her for more than a few hours and she already wanted to go see her and forget that it happened.

 

What was stuck in her throat was that Nick deliberately chose Natasha for this mission, when Clint or any other level 6 or higher could have done it, just because he knew Carol wouldn't stop her because of her feelings. And he lied again and kept informations for himself, like this new stupid project that she knew would fail somehow.

 

But that she couldn't tell Sam, and instead of rumbling about Natasha and how much she was in love with her, Carol asked questions about Riley.

 

Sam and Riley were a masculine version of Carol and Maria. Sam was the grounded of the two but knew how to have fun and how to bother his best friend, especially in front of women he liked, just like Maria did to Carol. Riley was a risk-taker, reckless and absent-minded, but when it can to work, he wanted to be the best, to be better than his best friend.

 

Sam told Carol that, the night Riley died, he wasn't supposed to be out there, Sam should have. Just like Carol volunteered to fly Lawson's plane, Riley said he would go on that op, leaving Sam to watch him die just like Maria heard Carol's through the radio as they crashed.

 

The discussion getting sad, Sam came back to the Natasha subject and asked for how long she and Carol had been dating. He almost choked on his beer when Carol told him they weren't, and at first he thought she was joking. The blonde tried to explain the situation with the little things she could tell him – no way she would speak about Natasha's traumas or their job – but unfortunately it wasn't enough and he called her a coward for not making the first move on her. Perhaps she was a coward but Carol still thought it was better to let the redhead come to her, to let her lead this relationship at her own speed, to not force things between them so it would work and last.

 

It was very nice to talk to someone who understood her, to someone like Maria, so nice that Carol didn't noticed it was late until the street lamps lit the city.

 

Before getting on her motorcycle, Carol took her phone and found out she received three texts from Natasha, which was really unlike her.

 

 

Hey, maybe I'm overstepping again but I thought we should talk, about the mission and all that.

 

I'm really sorry I lied to you, I didn't want to and it was fucking hard for me to do. I wish Nick hadn't ask me that but he did and I should have said no, I should have told you but I didn't and I feel stupid and so guilty for hurting you.

 

I usually don't care about hurting people but you are different. Please, when you get this, come to my place. I want to properly apologise to you, this is what you deserve, this is what you mean to me.

 

 

Carol didn't think she would ever read such a sentence from Natasha. This last part, "this is what you mean to me," that was a big deal. Natasha said it herself, she wasn't the kind of person to apologise, but she wanted to, for Carol, she wanted to fix everything.

 

But she didn't know that Carol had already forgave her.

 

Carol was tempted to go to Natasha's place to talk with her, to tell her that they were okay, to, herself, apologise for how she acted in the quinjet but it wasn't the moment, it could wait. It was almost midnight and the day had been long so Carol went back to her apartment, in need of a shower and a full night of sleep.

 

As she climbed up the stairs to her apartment, Carol ran into her next-door neighbour and almost made her fall on the ground. She suddenly stopped and realised she had two laundry baskets and offered her help, "Need a hand with this?"

 

The other woman shook her head, "I'm fine, thanks."

 

Carol nodded and took a step away, "Okay, good night then."

 

"You too, Carol. Oh and," Carol looked back at her, "I think you forgot to turn your stereo off."

 

Carol frowned, she rarely used it and she most certainly didn't use it the last time she was in her apartment, that was before she went on that morning run where she met Sam.

 

This was suspicious enough for her to clench her fist, ready to blast whoever was inside as she unlocked the door, as quietly as possible. There was no reason to be discreet because her first sight of the inside of her place was Nick, slouched on the armchair beside the stereo.

 

With a heavy sigh of relief, Carol lowered her fist and closed the door, "You know, people usually knock and wait at the door instead of breaking and entering," she said ironically.

 

"My wife kicked me out," he replied, and there Carol knew something was wrong.

 

Nick didn't have a wife, nor kids. He was single and had been since she met him. The only relatives he still had were cousins he barely ever talked to. This was a distress signal, Carol was sure of it, and Nick knew she would understand.

 

After a painful grunt, Nick sat up and took his phone to write something on it as he kept talking, "I deserved it honestly."

 

Ears everywhere.

 

"And I didn't know where to crash."

 

SHIELD compromised

 

Carol managed not to gasp. This was bad. Thousands of thoughts invaded her brain, she suddenly thought of her friends, were they safe? Her file, could she get compromised? In what way S.H.I.E.L.D was compromised, by whom? Why Nick came to her when he showed her before that he didn't trust her? That was the main question.

 

"Who knows about it?" she asked, for the people that could be listened talking about his wife but for him talking about S.H.I.E.L.D.

 

He stood on his feet and stepped towards her, "My friends."

 

She chuckled, it felt like they weren't friends anymore.

 

You and me, was written on the phone.

 

Before she could say anything, three gun shots rang out and passed through Nick's body, the man falling on the ground and groaning loudly in pain. Carol's first instinct was to look around as she pulled him to safety and she saw the shooter through a window. She didn't have the time to see them perfectly but they were still in position as she got covered in another room.

 

Now that Nick wasn't in shooting target, Carol wanted to go after the shooter, but her injured friend caught her wrist before she could leave. She looked back at him, suddenly realising the gravity of his injuries, the pain in his eyes, the veins of his neck popping out as he tried to breathe and it made it very hard for Carol to stay focus. She squeezed his forearm to give both of them comfort, and when she let go of his limb, she saw what he had in his hand.

 

The USB stick from the ship, the USB stick Natasha used to copy the data.

 

Carol hesitantly took it as Nick coughed a few words, "Don't… trust anyone," was his last sentence before passing out.

 

Putting the flash drive in her pocket, Carol put her head back in the game with a sharp breath. Her heart was beating at double its usual rhythm, all her senses were at their maximum, and when someone kicked down her door Carol almost photon blast them.

 

"Captain Danvers?" a feminine voice asked, and as she appeared in Carol's sight, the blonde recognised her. It was her neighbour, the one she ran into a few minutes ago, with a gun in her hands, a gunmade by S.H.I.E.L.D.

 

Carol frowned, "What the fuck?"

 

"I'm agent 13 of S.H.I.E.L.D, special service," special what? Carol thought, she didn't know there was such a thing at S.H.I.E.L.D, "I'm assigned to protect you," she added as she walked towards Nick.

 

Carol wanted to laugh, "As if I needed protection."

 

The woman, that was named Kate if Carol remembered correctly, gasped as she saw Nick on the floor, "He thought you did," she muttered as she bent down to his side and took his pulse.

 

Using a radio, she called for an ambulance and the person on the other side asked if she had any info on the shooter. She couldn't respond before Carol made her decision as she saw the shooter leaving through a window, "I'm going after them."

 

Carol took a step back and started running in direction of the building the shooter was. At that moment, she didn't care about being seen, what she wanted was to get this asshole who just shot her friend and flew across the street to land in the building. She ran as fast as she could, looking up at the glass celling and seeing the shooter running away. Knocking down all the doors on her way, she finally reached the other side of the building and jumped out of it, landing on a rooftop.

 

The shooter was there, at the other edge of the roof, their back being the easiest target Carol had ever had. She raised her fist and shot the most powerful blast she had shot in years, fast and strong, but the shooter dodged it somehow, as if they knew it was coming. They looked back at her and with a swift motion threw a knife that Carol caught when it was two centimetres away from her face. She squinted at the point of the knife before looking back at the shooter, but they were gone. Carol looked around, but there was no sign of them, and she went back to her apartment instantly, she wanted to be there for Nick.

 

In front of her building was an EMT that was ready to get Nick to the closest hospital and Kate – agent 13 – on the phone, "I'm going with him," Carol said, it wasn't a question.

 

"I'm not sure you can, Cap-"

 

"I don't give a damn, I'm going," Carol stated and climbed in the EMT.

 

A minute later, the paramedics arrived with Nick on a stretcher and Carol felt her throat tightening. Nobody asked about why she was there, they just got in and drove.

 

Her throat hurt so much as Carol choked every sob that was trying to escape her mouth but she couldn't prevent the tears from falling off her eyes. It looked bad, he already seemed dead but the monitor in the ambulance proved otherwise. Carol didn't know if numbers were good but she figured that the fact that they were all red and flickering was not a good point.

 

Halfway through the ride, Carol thought about Natasha and immediately called her. The beeps of the ringing were deafening, and it felt like it took Natasha decades to answer, "Carol, hey-"

 

"Nick has been shot. I'm in the ambulance with him right now, join us at the hospital," she enunciated as fast as a rapper, not noticing that she didn't tell Natasha in which hospital they were going until she had hung up the call. But Natasha was resourceful, she would find it.

 

In the hospital, Carol followed Nick until she couldn't and had to let the surgeons do their jobs. In the middle of a corridor, Carol didn't know where to go or what to do and her breathing started to accelerate. She took in deep breaths, looking around for help when someone wrapped their arms around her shoulders, "Carol! There you are," they said and it took the blonde five long seconds to realise it was Maria Hill, "Come with me," she added and pulled Carol by the arm, crossing the door she had been told she couldn't go through.

 

They walked for a minute until Maria opened another door that was a kind of observatory where they could see Nick's surgery. He was already there but the surgeons were getting ready, and at that moment Carol hated the hygiene protocol, her friend needed help and now, there was no time to waste.

 

As she waited, Carol found out she had a lot of questions for Maria, like what she had been doing all this time in New York but the woman was on a phone call before she could talk to her.

 

The surgeons were there, finally. Carol stared at them, unsure if she could look down at what they were doing to Nick without wanting to cry. She leaned on the ledge of the window, trying to find a comfortable position but nothing could make her feel a bit better.

 

Or maybe someone could.

 

Pushing the door with both her hands, Natasha stormed inside the observatory and stood between Carol and Maria. Gasping, she took a step back and Carol thought she would have fainted if she hadn't catch her hand. Natasha glanced at Carol, mouth slightly opened, eyes watering, "You okay?" she asked, her trembling voice bringing back Carol's need to cry. She nodded in response, she could only do that, talking would mean sobbing.

 

Having her there helped, but it wasn't enough. Not concerned for a second about Maria seeing them, Carol pulled Natasha closer and kissed her temple, closing her eyes to take in everything of that short moment. Natasha squeezed her hand and lingered, she needed the comfort as much as Carol. Natasha stayed close, her fingers and Carol's laced together.

 

The atmosphere in the room was so heavy, the air unbreathable, it was like inhaling fire and exhaling smoke. They were Nick's family, Natasha, Maria and Carol, they were his angels, the three women he recruited and trusted the most, until he didn't trust anybody anymore. He created his own family, at different period of time, Carol first, then Maria and finally Natasha, and then he made them meet, and they all became the most chaotic family the world has ever seen. They were all friends, or would be more one day, and met through that man who was dying on the other side of the one-way mirror.

 

His last words echoed in Carol's ears, Don't trust anyone, but she couldn't not trust one person, she would always trust Natasha, even if she lied to her not twenty four hours ago. We her free hand, Carol checked that the USB stick was still in her pocket and quietly sighed with relief when she found it.

 

Waiting was awful, Carol couldn't bare it, she hated it when she wasn't in control. Natasha squeezing her hand didn't soothe her anymore and, when she thought the atmosphere couldn't get any worse, the redhead spoke up, "Tell me about the shooter."

 

At this moment, Carol wanted to run away, roll into a ball and cry for the rest of her life. The images of the bullets ripping Nick's flesh and muscles came all at once in her brain and his screams of fear and pain haunted her. Closing her eyes, Carol took a deep breath and tried to remember what she noticed when she ran after him.

 

"Fast, agile, strong," were the word that first came out of her mouth, but then a precise picture popped up in her mind, as if she was back on that roof with them throwing a knife, "they had a metal arm…" how did it not hit her when she saw it the first time, how did she not notice this detail, that was surely the most important thing to identify this person.

 

Natasha didn't say anything about these informations and continued looking for more when Maria hang up her call, "Ballistics?"

 

"Three slugs, no rifling. Completely untraceable."

 

"Soviet-made," Natasha muttered. It wasn't a question, Carol knew it by the tone of her voice, she had heard of this MO before.

 

Maria slowly turned her head and looked at the redhead, "Yeah," she said quietly, surprised that Natasha figured it out.

 

Suddenly, the whole OR started moving faster, the numbers on the monitor dropping, the main surgeon asking for the defibrillator.

 

It couldn't be happening, it had to be a dream, Nick couldn't be dying. Carol had to be in her bed, before she woke up and went on that run, before she met Sam, before Natasha picked her up to take her on that stupid mission, before Natasha lied to her because Nick told her to. But all of this was very real, all of this happened and now Nick's heart wasn't working anymore, wasn't beating, and the surgeon defibrillation didn't change it.

 

Carol tears were there, threatening to fall as the surgeon tried to reanimate Nick another time. Natasha was murmuring something, that Carol didn't understand the first time, but when she repeated herself she wished she hadn't heard her, Don't do this to me, Nick.

 

Looking at the other woman on her left, Carol saw Maria swallowing, her lips trembling. They all knew what was happening, but none of them wanted to believe it.

 

After a third defibrillation, the surgeon stopped, the nurse telling him that there was still no pulse, and he didn't keep on trying. He put the defibrillator down and sighed before asking the time.

 

1.03.

 

Nick had died.

 

Clenching her jaw, Carol pulled Natasha in her arms, the smaller woman sobbing the second her face was against Carol's chest. The blonde closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, the scent of Natasha's shampoo not enough to calm her this time but she had to try and be strong. Maria joined them, one hand finding Natasha's shoulder and the other on Carol's. She was choking her sobs too, Carol could hear it, but only one of them could be broken at the time and it was Natasha's moment.

 

They stood there for a long time as the surgeon left the OR and the nurses took Nick away, Carol's t-shirt wet because of Natasha's tears, her shaking hands slowly stroking the redhead's back, Maria's squeezes on her shoulder making it harder to breathe when the opposite effect was sought.

 

After what felt like a century, Maria's hands slid down Carol's and Natasha's arms and stopped at their wrists, "Come with me," she whispered. Carol wanted to go, but Natasha stood still, impossible to move her. With a nod, Carol told Maria that they needed privacy and the dark haired woman stepped out of the room.

 

Natasha was hugging herself, staring into space as Carol stood before her and cupped her cheeks, "I'm with you," she told her as she pressed her forehead against Natasha's, the smaller woman still not looking at her, "let me be with you," Carol demanded and it earned her a quick glance from the emerald eyes, followed but a nod.

 

Carol kissed Natasha's forehead before taking a step back, her hand mindlessly reaching Natasha's as they joined Maria on the other side of the door. Nick's right-hand woman lead them to a room where he was.

 

Nick.

 

His body covered with one sheet up to his chest. His bruised face.

 

Nick was dead.

 

He had died in front of who were probably his favourite people on Earth, and now they were alone.

 

Carol couldn't do it. She wanted to be strong for Natasha but it shredded her heart to see this, to see him. She needed to let go, she needed her moment to be sad about her friend's passing, she needed it now.

 

Maria had barely left the room when a first muffled sob resonated in the room, and the next second Natasha had pulled Carol in her arms and made them rock slightly. She held on Natasha as if someone was taking her away, she couldn't lose anyone else, not today, not ever. Her body shuddered as her sobs were the only sound in the room, and when Natasha whispered to her ear that it was going to be okay, they became louder.

 

Nick had been shot. In her apartment.

 

Nick died.

 

Don't trust anyone.

 

After a long time of tight hugging and back stroking, Natasha pulled out and did just like Carol had done to her earlier, she cupped her cheeks and pressed their foreheads together, the blonde matching her gaze instantly.

 

She didn't need to talk, Natasha's eyes said it all.

 

I'm with you. We are in this together. Be strong for him. We are okay.

 

Carol slowly breathed, the oxygen reaching her lungs hurting less than it did before, and she silently nodded to confirm to Natasha that she was okay.

 

Natasha turned around and looked at Nick, something Carol couldn't do. The blonde still wanted to be there for her and stood behind her, her arms wrapped around her waist as she rested her forehead on her shoulder, staring at her feet.

 

A few minutes later, Maria came back in the room, "I need to take him," she said and swallowed.

 

She wasn't a hundred percent sure, but Carol thought she went somewhere to cry on her own, residue of tears on her cheeks giving it away.

 

Letting her hands fall back against her body, Carol observed Natasha as she took a step forward and pressed her hand on Nick's forehead before walking away. Carol wavered but took a last look at her friend, and followed the redhead.

 

She was waiting for her in the corridor, "Why was he in your apartment?" Natasha asked.

 

Don't trust anyone.

 

Fuck it.

 

Carol sighed, but before she could answer agent Rumlow spoke up, "Captain, they want you back at S.H.I.E.L.D."

 

It wasn't the moment, she really wasn't in shape for whatever they wanted to talk about. Carol was tired, she hadn't sleep in a day and just wanted to tell the whole world to go fuck itself.

 

"Give me a second," she eventually told him, her words close to an annoyed groan, "They want you now."

 

She clenched her fist, and her jaw, it's really not the moment to piss me off, "I need One. Minute." This time it was a groan and Rumlow didn't bother her more.

 

Carol took a step forward, her hand in her pocket before she reached Natasha's hands, "What have you done Carol?"

 

"Do you trust me?" she asked as she gave Natasha the memory drive. The redhead looked down, recognising the device and gazed back at Carol, "I need you to stick around here, and when I'm back I'll tell you, okay?"

 

Natasha nodded, discreetly hiding the USB stick in the sleeve of her jacket, "I trust you."

 

Carol pulled Natasha closer and pressed a lingering kiss on her forehead, "And I trust you."

Chapter 16: Runaways

Chapter Text

They want you now.

 

It was just a way to keep an eye on Carol while this they would show up. It was three in the morning, the city was a wilderness, and so was S.H.I.E.L.D's HQ.

 

Carol didn't bothered and asked if she could go somewhere to sleep, considering that the person that wanted to see her wouldn't show up before eight, she would have enough time to have a good night of sleep. Three members of Strike team escorted her to a room and two of them stayed outside to watch her while she slept.

 

She was awakened a few hours later, as predicted, by a loud knock on the door and, for some reasons, was asked to put on her suit. Carol didn't ask why and just put it on, but hoped she wouldn't have another mission.

 

Led by agent Rumlow, Carol entered an elevator she had never seen before and it closed before anyone could come with her. It was the longest time she had been in an elevator in her life, and when the doors opened she realised she had never been to that floor either.

 

Hearing voices, Carol followed their sound until she saw her neighbour and a man talking. She had never seen him but she figured it was the only person that had a higher rank than Nick, a United States Government and World Security Council member, the man that knew it all.

 

Kate – if it was actually her name – greeted Carol as she walked away, but the Captain looked straight forward, totally ignoring the woman that had been living at her floor for almost two years and lying for this whole time.

 

Now standing before this man, Carol straightened her posture, just like she learnt to do in the military.

 

"Captain. I'm Alexander Pierce," he said and shook Carol's hand. She stared at him, jaw clenched and remembered her good manners, "It's an honour," she told him but actually didn't give a damn about who he was.

 

He replied with a nod before guiding her into his office, that was the same Fury's but a floor higher. He told her the usual things you say to someone who lost a friend, nothing that helped Carol feel better, before giving her a file, Nick's file. There were pictures of him before Carol even met him, some more recent, but all felt like a dagger in the heart.

 

Nick died in front of her and she couldn't have done anything to stop it.

 

Pierce told Carol how he met Nick, how they became friends and why he made him director of S.H.I.E.L.D. He promoted him because he did what Nick always did, lie and act behind people's backs, but that time it saved dozens of innocent lives. These were all great stories but Carol knew she wasn't there to tell her best memories.

 

"Captain, why was Nick in your apartment last night?" he suddenly asked.

 

Carol slightly shook her head as she looked away, Don't trust anyone, "I don't know," she replied and, in all honesty, she didn't know why Nick went to her when he showed multiple times that he didn't trust her anymore.

 

"Did you know it was bugged?"

 

"He told me it was."

 

"Did he tell you he was the one who bugged it?"

 

Carol's mask stayed in place, but at that moment she wanted to scream. He really didn't trust her then. Did he bugged other places? Like Natasha's, or Clint's house? Was there anybody that he trusted or was he just a paranoid maniac and control freak?

 

Pierce interrupted her thought, showing something on the giant screen that was behind Carol.

 

It was a video of Batroc in an interrogation room, two agents pacing around him and asking questions but the pirate remained silent, "When did you find him?" Carol asked, wondering why he was being questioned when S.H.I.E.L.D had witnesses of him high-jacking the Lemurian Star.

 

"They picked him up last night in a not-so-safe house in Algiers."

 

Carol didn't understand the questions that was asked to him, "Do you think he did it? It's not his style."

 

"It's more complicated than that," Pierce clarified, "Batroc was hired anonymously to attack the Lemurian Star? And he was contacted by email and paid by wire transfer, and then the money was run through seventeen fictitious accounts, the last one going to a holding company that was register to a Jacob Veech."

 

Great speech, Carol thought as the World Security Council member gave her another file, "This man died six years ago and used to live at the 1435 Elmhurst Drive, when I first met Nick, his mother lived at 1437," Carol looked at him, what was he suggesting, "You are saying he hired them, why would he do that?"

 

"The prevailing theory… was that the high-jacking was a cover for the acquisition and sale of classified intelligence," the data Natasha backed up on the ship, the USB stick that she gave her before coming here, "the sale went sour and that led Nick to his death."

 

Carol couldn't believe what Pierce was implying, Nick never was and would never be a traitor. Even if she was mad at him for not trusting her – and dying – Carol couldn't let Pierce tarnish his name, "If you really knew Nick Fury, you'd know that's not true," she said, her anger somehow staying inside her.

 

"Why do you think we are talking?" Sure, Carol thought, we are talking because you want to know why Nick would do something like that, but the answer is simple, he wouldn't.

 

Pierce stood up as he spoke, "See, I took a seat on the Council not because I wanted to, but because Nick asked me to, because we were both realists," as he looked through a window, Carol got on her feet and approached him, "We knew that, despite all the diplomacy and the handshaking and the rhetoric, to build a really better world sometimes means having to tear the old one down. And that makes enemies. Those people that call you dirty because you got the guts to stick your hands in the mud and try to build something better. And the idea that those people could be happy today makes me really, really angry."

 

A wonderful speech again, made by someone who wants to control everything so his image would be perfect apparently. Maybe it wasn't Nick the control freak, maybe it was Pierce. Maybe he hired the pirates and Nick asking Natasha to back up the data fucked up one of his plans.

 

"Captain, you were the last one to see Nick alive. I don't think that's an accident and I don't think you do, either. So, I'm gonna ask again. Why was he there?"

 

Carol scoffed quietly, to give me the thing you think he wanted to sell, the thing that would prove that he was a traitor, "He told me not to trust anyone."

 

"But do you… not trust anyone?"

 

That was too much, Carol needed to leave or she would punch him. After dragging Nick's name down, he was doubting Carol and her trust to Natasha, because of course he knew they were close.

 

"I don't know," she finally replied are voice lightly shaking, "but I believe he didn't say that for no reason," she added with a threatening tone and walked towards the door.

 

On her way out, he stopped her, "Captain! Somebody murdered my friend and I'm gonna find out why," so will I, Carol said he her head, "Anyone gets in my way, they're gonna regret it. Anyone."

 

Carol nodded and left without a word. If he though he was threatening her with his words than maybe he didn't know who she really was, unlike what Carol had supposed all this time.

 

Now that she was out, Carol just wanted to go back to the hospital and tell Natasha what happened. She went down the stairs to take the elevator she was allowed to take – Pierce's one not coming when she pushed the button – and asked the AI to take her to the operation control level, where she last was, where she took off her clothes and put that damn suit on.

 

The doors of the elevator were closing when Carol heard Rumlow and other members of Strike team coming her way and one of them blocked the doors. Agent Rumlow politely greeted her, as if he hadn't seen her a few hours earlier and told the AI where he was going.

 

The elevator went down and Rumlow turned around to talk to Carol again, "Evidence Response found some fibres on the roof they want us to see. You want me to get the tac team ready?"

 

That was quite premature, who knew if this would lead somewhere but it was Strike team's style to run into conflict head on and think about the consequences after their acts, "When we know what it is, I'll tell you what to do."

 

Rumlow nodded and went back to speak with his team, one of the man with his hand hovering over his taser. Carol slightly frowned, why was he on his guard like that.

 

A few floor lower, the elevator stopped and four agents entered, two of them weaving in and out to stand behind her.

 

That was weird, they could have stand at the doors of the elevator, there was more space, but they went behind her, to push her in the centre of the elevator.

 

Rumlow talked again, giving his condolences to Carol. It felt fake and forced, but she thanked him politely before looking around her. On her left, Carol saw an agent sweating, a few drops rolling down his temple, yet it wasn't hot nor too cold in the elevator so she added this to the list of odd behaviours. Again, after a few floors, the lift stopped and three agents entered, including agent Rollins, that Carol didn't like very much. He glared at her before stepping in, the Strike team she usually work with now completed.

 

Something bad was going to happen, Carol could feel it. There was enough men in this elevator to neutralise her – if she didn't use her powers – and she really didn't want to take her chances and see if she could beat them.

 

The air was heavy as Carol analysed the elevator and the little choices she had. One thing was sure, if she wanted to escape, she would have to use her powers. But if she wanted to do that, Carol would have to disable the camera that was in the top right corner on the side of the doors. She had to be fast, they were all type of men, some more muscular than others, some more agile, and she knew she would have to dodge as much of their attacks as possible to reach to camera and break it before being able to blow them up.

 

Getting herself ready to fight, Carol felt the need to tease her opponents, "Gentlemen! Shall we?"

 

Suddenly, one of the guy behind her grabbed her shoulders while Rollins took his taser but she kicked him in the knee and he smashed his face on the floor. One of them stopped the elevator while three of the strongest men there pulled Carol against the wall opposite to the camera, immobilising her arms. With her feet, she pushed the others away, kicking one in his chest and another in his crotch.

 

Three down, seven to go.

 

It was now Rumlow that was armed with a taser but he, helped by the guys pressing Carol against the wall, succeeded at hitting her. What he didn't know what that it didn't hurt her and that it made her even more powerful. As she kicked his arm, Carol managed to escape for one of the men's grip and punched another with her free hand.

 

Back on her feet with still one guy trying to strangle her, Carol moved with difficultly to the other side of the elevator, stepping on Rollins to destroy the camera. Firmly gripping her suit, the man behind Carol prevented her to reach the camera. With a loud groan, she used the wall to boost herself, as if she could run on it and got a rid of him.

 

There were still three agent bothering her, but Carol managed to get to the camera and punched it down. Now sure that she wouldn't be seen – or at least not recorded – Carol channelled the energy that was living within her as Rumlow, Rollins and another man got up. They were eight men conscious, and they were all going to test the power of Captain Marvel.

 

Carol closed her eyes, dodging a punch even if she couldn't see and when she opened them again, her eyes were shining. The whole elevator went silent as Strike team exchanged glances and, before one could say something, Carol hit her knuckle in the palm of her hand and all the glasses and windows around got ruined by a blast of golden and blue energy.

 

All the men around Carol were on the ground and unconscious, the elevator was just a platform now and it took a lot of willpower for Carol not to fly away. She could try the doors of the elevator but she was sure agents would be behind it, aiming at her.

 

Instead, Carol chose to use the cables of the elevator to go down, and then she would have to improvise.

 

Arriving it the main lobby, some people looked at her like she was some kind of monster while others just kept walking. With no time to figure out the why they had this behaviour, Carol went to the exit even if she knew it was a risky play. Oddly, nobody was there to block her but outside were dozens of heavily armed agents waiting for her.

 

The option of just turning bulletproof in her binary form was tempting, but Carol decided not to expose herself. When they were about to shoot her, Carol jumped off the bridge and into the water. Hopefully, just like her old Kree suit, this one had a system that allowed her to breathe under water, which made her escape ten times easier. Reaching the other side of the water, Carol understood why she had been asked to put on her suit, there was a tracer in it.

 

Now that she knew that, Carol had to find somewhere to change before going back to the hospital. She studied her surrounding and remembered that there was a high-school not far, meaning a sport field and lockers were she could 'borrow' some clothes.

 

She broke into the high school from the back, where a class was having PE and went to the locker room. Inside she undressed and took the first pieces of clothing that seemed comfortable, a white tee, grey sweatpants and a dark blue jacket. The shoes were all not something you want to wear when running away from an organisation like S.H.I.E.L.D so Carol left the girls' room for the boys'. There she found a pair of Vans, not the best but it would do the trick.

 

Her suit hidden under the bleachers, Carol exited the high school by using the way she entered.

 

As she walked, Carol put her hood on, hiding her face as much as possible in case S.H.I.E.L.D was using CCTV and phones to locate her. Getting into the hospital would actually be harder than expected because there was still cars of the police and S.H.I.E.L.D parked at the main entry. Knowing the surroundings, Carol used the ER entry to get in and climbed up the stairs to get to the floor she left Natasha at a few hours ago.

 

Looking around, Carol couldn't see the redhead and, for a short second, she thought that she left and went on her own. With some struggle, Carol entered the room where Nick had been, where she cried her eyes out because of the sadness that was overwhelming her, and just when she was about to leave because she couldn't see anyone, a well known hand grabbed her collar and pushed her against the wall.

 

"What the fuck were you doing?" gasped a totally panicked Natasha, her eyes narrowed and tired.

 

"S.H.I.E.L.D is compromised, that's what Nick told me last night before he got shot and I'm pretty sure I know who's behind it."

 

She could have kept on talking but Natasha pulled her into her arms and it became the only thing that felt right at the moment, "I know who the shooter is," Natasha whispered and Carol suddenly pulled away, intrigued, "Most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists. The ones that do call him the Winter Soldier. He's credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last fifty years."

 

Carol raised an eyebrow, "Fifty?" the number seemed weird, how could a man with fifty years of career still be so fast and strong?

 

With a smirk, Natasha nodded, "Five years ago, I was escorting a nuclear engineer out of Iran. Somebody shot out my tires near Odessa. We lost control, went straight over a cliff. I pulled us out," Carol chuckled, of course Natasha saved the day, "but the Winter Soldier was there. I was covering my engineer so he shot him straight through me," she lifted her shirt, showing Carol a scar that she had already glimpsed in the past, "Soviet slug. No rifling. Bye-bye, bikinis."

 

Carol smirked, "I know for a fact that this isn't true."

 

"Anything I tried to get him was a dead end," Natasha added as she gave Carol the memory drive back, ignoring Carol's comment.

 

"Well, let's see if we can change that! So… where do we start?"

 

Natasha looked around quickly before taking Carol's hand, "If we are going against S.H.I.E.L.D, I need to change. I've got clothes in my car."

 

"Car that doesn't have a tracer, right?"

 

Natasha glanced back at Carol with a mocking face, "Carol, you are talking to me, of course I removed it the second S.H.I.E.L.D gave it to me."

 

Right, logical Natasha play.

 

"We need to find out what is in this thing," Carol said as she watched their back, in case an agent was there to get her.

 

"We have to go somewhere crowded, like the mall. It will be harder for them to find us in the middle of thousands of people. We can go to one of those stores where you can try laptops and see if we can get infos."

 

Finally at Natasha's car in the parking lot of the hospital, the redhead changed her shoes and jacket, added a coat to her outfit and gave Carol a cap that she put on her head, "You look cute with that," she complimented, making Carol's cheek heat up, "Alright, I guess we are going shopping."

 

In Natasha's corvette as they headed to the mall, Carol couldn't stop adjusting the cap on her head, her nervousness not going down, even when Natasha tried to calm her, "Wherever we are going next we will have to drop this car, even without the tracer it's easy to find."

 

"Yeah, not everybody get to buy a car like this one," Carol joked, "I don't even know how much it cost," Natasha replied with a snort as she parked.

 

Carol followed Natasha as they entered the mall, her eyes wandering around to check if anyone was following them.

 

"Never been on the run before," Natasha asked, grabbing Carol's wrist to make her look forward, "I usually fly away and hide."

 

"Okay then, first rule of going on the run is don't run, walk. And second," she stopped walking and took Carol's hand, "Don't. Look around like that. It's even more suspicious."

 

Carol took a deep breath and closed her eyes as Natasha stroked her thumb on the back of her hand, "For a superhero you are extremely nervous, Cap!"

 

The blonde scoffed at the nickname that she hadn't heard from Natasha for almost two years, "There is enough on the line for me to be nervous."

 

"That's true but we don't have the time for that," Natasha replied as she pulled Carol by the hand, "Come on, the store's up there."

 

Just like Natasha had predicted, the whole mall and the stores were full of people, making it easier for them hide in the crowd.

 

Natasha went to a laptop, doing things Carol didn't try to understand as she stood behind her, watching for any sign of an enemy. She knew she shouldn't be but Carol couldn't help herself, S.H.I.E.L.D was menacing her and trying to drag down Nick's reputation and she couldn't just let them do it.

 

"The drive has a Level Six homing program, so as soon as we boot up S.H.I.E.L.D will know exactly where we are," Natasha explained, ready to put the drive in the computer.

 

"How long do we have?"

 

"About nine minutes from… " Natasha plugged the drive in the laptop, "now."

 

Mindlessly, Carol's hand found Natasha's waist as she observed what was happening on the screen, glancing away every now and then to be sure S.H.I.E.L.D wasn't getting here faster than what Natasha expected. It didn't seem to go anywhere, and Natasha's sighs every ten seconds conformed it, "Nick was right about that ship, somebody's trying to hide something. This drive is protected by some sort of AI, it keeps rewriting itself to counter my commands."

 

"You can override it, right?"

 

Natasha tilted her head, which was a bad sign, "The person who developed this is slightly smarter than me," yep, that sucked, "Slightly."

 

In other circumstances, Carol would have laughed for this clarification, but it had been six minutes and they still had nothing to work on, "Come on, Natasha. I know you can find something," she encouraged, her eyes now more on the laptop than watching their six.

 

"I'm gonna try running a tracer. This is a program that S.H.I.E.L.D. developed so if we can't read the file, maybe we can find out where it came from."

 

Yes! Carol screamed in her head, Natasha, you are a fucking genius.

 

The program was triangulating the position of where the malware came from, now they just had to wait.

 

"Can I help you guys with anything?" a guy that worked in the store interrupted.

 

Natasha pulled Carol between him and the computer thus he wouldn't see what they were doing, "No. My fiancée was just helping me with some honeymoon destinations."

 

Fiancée huh? I wish.

 

"Oh! Congrats!" the man cheered, trying to look at the screen, "Where are you guys thinking about going?"

 

Carol looked at the screen and pouted as she saw the location written on it, "New Jersey, I guess."

 

"Oh!" he exclaimed as he stared at Carol with his eyebrows raised, "I love your cap!"

 

Carol released a sharp breath, "Thanks! It was a gift from this wonderful woman," she explained as she pointed at Natasha.

 

"Well, if you guys need anything, I've been Aaron."

 

Carol politely thanked him, not looking away until she was sure he left, "Tell me you have it."

 

Natasha didn't reply for a few seconds, still typing on the keyboard, "Yep! Got it!"

 

As the location appeared on the screen, Carol's eyes widened and she leaned forward to make sure she was seeing it right.

 

"You know it?" Natasha asked, concern in her voice.

 

Carol thanked Nick for forcing her to read Captain Rogers' file, "I heard about it, I'll explain on the way there," she said and unplugged the drive.

 

They walked back to the parking lot, because even if they weren't taking Natasha's car again they still needed one, and on the way there Carol's caught sight of two men she fought earlier in the elevator. She glanced at Natasha before nodding at them, "I'm listening, tell me what we do."

 

"Put your arm around me, laugh at something I said," Natasha ordered.

 

Without asking question, Carol did what she was asked, giggling loudly like an idiot teen, the mercenaries not seeing them. They accelerated their paces, it became urgent for them to leave this place.

 

They were one floor above the parking and their only way out was an escalator. They had to stay still, going down it to go faster would look suspicious. Natasha went first, and as Carol observed the alleys for potential S.H.I.E.L.D agents, the redhead asked her something she would never have seen coming.

 

"Kiss me," Carol jaw dropped and then she saw Rumlow on the other side of the escalator, going up as the went down, "Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable."

 

"Do they?" Carol asked and before she could say anything more, Natasha's lips were on hers.

 

At first, the blonde had a hard time believing this was happening. She had wanted it so much, to feel Natasha's lips on hers, that she was sort of sad that the reason why they were kissing wasn't because Natasha wanted to.

 

But there was something in the way Natasha kissed her, like she wasn't trying to make it believable for the people around them, but only for Carol. It was like she wasn't actually faking it, but kissed Carol to make her think she was, to make her think it was just because of the situation they were in, when really she wanted to kiss her as much as the blonde did. So Carol decided to make it believable, for the crowd and first and foremost for Natasha, she had wanted it for such a long time that she couldn't pretend the opposite.

 

It only took her a second to pull herself together, kissing back slowly as she tugged Natasha's coat to pull her on the same step as Carol was. Natasha's hand on the back of Carol's neck was pulling her closer while Carol's hands were gently resting on the redhead's waist. Suddenly, Carol felt a shift in the way Natasha was kissing her, she wasn't pretending anymore, which made the blonde smile into the kiss.

 

They probably had passed Rumlow for a long moment when Natasha slowly pulled away, her hand caressing Carol's cheek as she smirking, "Shall we," she said against her lips as they reached to bottom of the escalator.

 

Carol felt like she was flying as they walked to the parking lot and searched for a car to still.

 

"This one," Natasha pointed at a blue pickup not far from the exit of the mall, "just let me o-"

 

Before she could try and pick the lock of the car, Carol was already inside and starting the engine. Natasha went to the passenger side and just stared at Carol as she played with wires, "What?" the blonde asked.

 

"How did you get in?"

 

Carol chuckled as she glanced at the handle, "I have shiny hands, remember?"

 

Natasha shook her head as she fastened her belt when Carol finally succeeded at turning on the engine, "Wheaton, you know where it is?"

 

"Nope."

 

"I thought you did," Natasha exclaimed as she took her phone.

 

"I said I heard about it! It's where Steve Rogers was trained and picked to be the test subject for the super soldier serum thing."

 

"Oh! Okay," Natasha gasped as she showed Carol the GPS on her phone, "Well, for now just take the fiftieth avenue, I'll tell you where to go."

 

It was hard for Carol not to look at in her rear view mirror every ten seconds. She had a bad feeling that Rumlow and his men were following them but couldn't see any vehicle that looked like S.H.I.E.L.D's ones. When they were on a high road, Natasha told Carol the way they to take before relaxing a bit with a loud sigh as she put her feet on the dashboard.

 

Smirking, Natasha tilted her head and stared at Carol who noticed it right away but didn't say anything.

 

"You are a very good kisser, you know" Natasha eventually told Carol and it was impossible for her to hide her blushing cheeks, "Thanks… you too," she replied shyly, keeping her eyes on the road to act like it didn't make her happy that Natasha said that.

 

"Are we ever gonna talk about it or do you wanna to act like I didn't know you perfectly?"

 

Carol opened her mouth a couple times to speak but nothing came out. Was Natasha implying what she thought, that she had feelings for her, that she was in love with her-

 

"Nick told you something that made you ask me if I trusted you and I want to know why."

 

Carol blinked, it wasn't that, she was saved, or at least for now.

 

She exhaled a sharp breath of relief before glancing at Natasha, "He told me not to trust anyone."

 

Natasha grimaced, "Yet you trusted me, why?"

 

Carol shrugged, "Because it's you, and me. I just know we trust each other, that's just a thing we do."

 

The redhead looked away. She seemed touched by what Carol just said, as if she didn't already know she would follow her everywhere for any reason. It made Carol's heart ache to know that Natasha didn't think, after all this time, after all they went through together, that Carol cared about her more than anyone in the world, "I told you you mean the world to me, Natasha. How could I not trust you after saying that."

 

"I don't know," Natasha replied with an emotional tone, "I'm just glad that you do," she added as she reached Carol's right hand and pulled it to her mouth to kiss her knuckle.

 

"If you don't mind I'm gonna try to sleep a little. You'll be good?"

 

Carol glanced at Natasha and smiled, "Of course. It's only two hours," she told her and squeezed her hand gently, "I'll wake you up when we get there."

Chapter 17: HYDRA

Notes:

I made a choice concerning Carol's powers that you will read in this chapter and that I will explain in the notes after the chapter.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Staring at someone sleeping was creepy, Carol knew it was but she couldn't help it, Natasha was there, weirdly seated and fast asleep and Carol couldn't get her eyes away. Well, she was still driving and had to watch the road, but she was looking at Natasha half of the time, mesmerised by her adorable face and natural beauty. The rise and fall of her chest was her only motion, except when some times they took a turn, Natasha would slightly move her head.

 

It seemed that Natasha was sleeping peacefully, no whine or sudden movement that would indicate that she was having a nightmare, which was amazing considering all that happened in the last twenty four hours. Their argument – that they still hadn't talked about, Nick's death and now knowing that something wrong was going on at S.H.I.E.L.D, all of these could trigger Natasha's anxiety, but it looked like she was fine.

 

After a bit more than an hour and a half of driving, Carol gently woke up Natasha, knowing that they were close to the camp where Steve Rogers had been trained.

 

"Hey beautiful, we are almost there," she said quietly as she stroked her thumb on Natasha's thigh.

 

With a light groan, Natasha took her feet off the dashboard and turned, her side against the backrest so she was facing Carol, "I was dreaming for once, why did you wake me up," the redhead whined, giving Carol's arm a little tap, nothing that would ever harm her.

 

"We are like ten minutes away from the camp. Get your head out of your ass," Carol giggled as she took a turn tighter than necessary just to bother Natasha, "What were you dreaming about?" she asked more seriously as Natasha rubbed her eyes.

 

"That's none of your business," she muttered, finally letting appear a glimpse of her bright green eyes.

 

Carol glanced at her and pouted, "Tell me, please."

 

"No!" Natasha exclaimed, "It's personal!"

 

"So it's about me, isn't it?"

 

Natasha scoffed, "Not everything is about you, Danvers."

 

Carol smirked, "Yet I know you, Romanoff, and I know that, when you hide something from me, it's because it is about me."

 

Natasha rolled her eyes as she sat up, "Yeah, whatever. I'm still not telling you."

 

After a short laugh, Carol muttered, "Liar."

 

They stayed silent after that, Carol driving, Natasha looking at her phone to know where they were. A few minutes later, they passed a 'Do not cross' sign before being stopped by a metal gate with barbed wires.

 

As Carol parked, she shared a glance with Natasha who still had her phone in hands to make sure they were at the right place. The both stepped out of the car and carefully advanced towards the railings.

 

The night started to fall as they went through the camp, Natasha still with her phone searching for heat signature or signals that would indicate them that somebody had been there recently, but they found nothing.

 

"Whoever wrote the file must have used a router to throw people off," Natasha supposed, putting the phone in her pocket.

 

Carol looked back at her and a building behind the redhead bothered her, "This shouldn't be here," she pointed at the building, "whether it's a bunker or a place to storage munitions it's too close from the barracks."

 

With a self-assured gait, Carol went to the door of the building, closely followed by Natasha, and blasted the padlock that was blocking the access.

 

The heavy armoured door led to a staircase and the stairs to an open space full of desks and old machines, dial phones and typewriters. The lights turned on as Natasha found the switch and enlightened a wall on the other side of the room on which was drawn the logo of S.H.I.E.L.D.

 

"This is S.H.I.E.L.D…" Natasha said under her breath.

 

They inspected the floor, opening all the doors until they found a few portraits of people, "This is Stark's father," Natasha told Carol, who remembered him from Tony's file, "who's the girl?"

 

This woman was more than just a girl, she created the biggest organisation of Earth when it came to security and intelligence. It surprised Carol that Natasha didn't know who she was and made her laugh that she called her a girl, "She is the founder of S.H.I.E.L.D, Margaret Carter," her history with Captain America wasn't important, he got stuck in the ice while she was becoming the most powerful woman of the world. Carol wondered if she had learnt that he had been found. It was probably better that she didn't, she was getting very old and didn't need a news like that to mess up with her brain.

 

Natasha didn't say anything and walked further into the room. Carol followed her after one last glance at the pictures and quickly something struck her, "What's that?" she wondered out loud as she approached a shelf, spider's cobweb on it fluttering in a draught.

 

Carol observed the shelves around, all of them looking quite suspicious and then pulled the one with the web. With no struggle, she pushed it away and it revealed a secret elevator.

 

"Good catch, Cap," Natasha said with a discreet smile as she walked to the entry code, decrypting the combination with her phone.

 

After a green light showed that Natasha's attempt had been successful, the elevator door dinged before it opened. Carol let Natasha go first, entered and pressed one of the two buttons, the one with an arrow down on it.

 

Fifteen seconds after the door closed, it opened again on a dark floor. Carol and Natasha both hovered inside, the obscurity not welcoming and a little scary if the blonde was being honest. She had lived so much in her life, fighting Kree and other extraterrestrial species, running into ambushes and traps, but this, when it was too calm, it was the worst.

 

Gathering her courage, Carol took a first step and the sound of Natasha following her forced her to keep walking. The elevator's door closed behind them and when they reached the middle of the room, the lights turned on.

 

Now that they could see, they realised the room was huge and filled with old machines that Carol didn't remember seeing in her life, they were probably older than her.

 

"This can't be the data point, this technology is ancient," Natasha muttered, confirming what Carol thought.

 

Natasha seemed amused, as if she didn't believe they were at the right place, but for Carol it was clear that this was from where the files in the drive came from.

 

Stepping closer to what must be the main computer of all these obsolete machines, a seemingly recent device with USB ports on it was placed there, everywhere else on Earth it was at the right spot but not in this secret out of time cave. Natasha took the flash drive and plugged it into the device, more lights and machines suddenly turning on. The place was definitely huge, hundreds of square metres full of sort of recording machines.

 

Nervousness was filling the air and Carol couldn't hide it from her features. Natasha didn't seem that much confident either but it was still Natasha, she was a pro to hide what she felt.

 

An old camera lightly moved, Carol almost missed it, before a screen switched on, with 'Initiate system?' written on it as an electronic voice said it as well. Natasha took a step forward and spelled the word 'Yes' on the dusty keyboard. When they heard the machines powering up, Natasha looked back at Carol and smirked, "Shall we play a game?" she joked to de-stress Carol who slightly smiled – she remembered seeing this movie with Maria back in the days – before getting her focus back in the present.

 

The camera moved again, turning to record Carol and a face appeared on the screen, "Danvers, Carol," the computer said, "born 1960."

 

Then, the camera turned to Natasha, "Romanova, Natalia Alianovna, born 1984."

 

The redhead seemed as surprised as Carol, first that it knew her real name, and that it knew Carol at all.

 

"It's some kind of recording," Natasha assumed as she frowned.

 

"I am not a recording, Fraulein," the computer said aggressively, "I may not be the man I was when the Captain took me prisoner in 1945. But I am."

 

Natasha gazed at Carol, "You know this thing?" she asked as the computer showed a picture on another screen that Carol recognised, "No, I think it's talking about Captain America. I've seen this man in his file."

 

Carol started pacing around the computer, analysing what they were up against, "Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull. I read he died a long time ago."

 

"First correction, I am Swiss," the computer exclaimed, "Second, look around you. I have never been more alive. In 1972, I received a terminal diagnosis. Science could not save my body, my mind, however, that was worth saving, on two hundred thousand feet of databanks. You are standing in my brain."

 

For some reasons it sounded disgusting to Carol that she was in someone's brain, even though it was just a bunch of machines and she also had been in worse, more slimy situations.

 

Something wasn't adding up. Zola was an enemy of the United States in the second world war, how did he end up in a secret S.H.I.E.L.D facility, "How did you get here?" Carol asked.

 

"Invited," it – he? – told them.

 

"It was Operation Paperclip after World War II. S.H.I.E.L.D. recruited German scientists with strategic value," Natasha explained.

 

"They thought I could help their cause, I also helped my own."

 

HYDRA, that was his cause. From what Carol had read, this organisation disappeared with the Red Skull but it wouldn't be the first time a dead organisation came back from the ashes, "Your leader died, how did HYDRA survived?" Carol asked confirmations of her doubts.

 

"Cut off one head, two more shall take its place."

 

Carol frowned, "What does that mean?"

 

"Accessing archives," the computer started as a first image appeared on a screen, "HYDRA was founded on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom," dictators, not something Carol had never encountered before, "What we did not realize was that if you try to take that freedom, they resist. The war taught us much," now, the screen showed footages of Captain America fighting against the German army, "Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly. After the war, S.H.I.E.L.D. was founded, and I was recruited. The new HYDRA grew, a beautiful parasite inside S.H.I.E.L.D."

 

Carol glanced at Natasha and saw that she was tensed, more than earlier, "For seventy years, HYDRA has been secretly feeding crisis, reaping war, and when history did not cooperate, history was changed."

 

"That's impossible. S.H.I.E.L.D. would have stopped you," Natasha affirmed, her faith in the organisation she had been working in for almost ten years unshakeable.

 

"Accidents will happen… " Carol's breath was cut short when she saw Howard Stark's and then Nick's death reports on the screen, HYDRA was behind their deaths, "HYDRA created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security," Project insight! Carol saw it on an image that Zola was showing them, and then there was more of it. Of course HYDRA would use this to spread fear and try to control the world, it was already what it was going to do if S.H.I.E.L.D used it.

 

"Once a purification process is complete, HYDRA's new world order will arise."

 

"What's on the drive?" Carol asked.

 

"Project Insight requires insight. So, I wrote an algorithm."

 

"What kind of algorithm? What does it do?" Natasha suddenly asked, her words fast and nervous.

 

"The answer to your question is fascinating. Unfortunately, you shall be too dead to hear it."

 

A mechanical sound drew Carol's attention. She looked behind and saw an armoured door closing, blocking the passage to the elevator. She could blast it but it would take time, and she hadn't enough momentum to fly through it.

 

She looked back at Natasha who's phone beeped, "We got a bogey. Short range ballistic. 30 seconds tops."

 

"I can't fly up there and destroy it, Natasha," Carol informed as her eyes wandered around, looking for somewhere to cover.

 

Natasha gritted her teeth, "It's from S.H.I.E.L.D," in other circumstances, Carol would have been in shock, but after what they just learnt, nothing was surprising anymore.

 

"I'm afraid I have been stalling, Damen," Zola said as Natasha unplugged the drive, which didn't shut down the computer, "It was a pleasure to share my last moment with two out of time women."

 

There was no way out for both of them and the only hiding place was under a metal plate. Carol lifted it up, Natasha running in the one-metre-deep hole first and then the blonde joined her as the missile ripped all the pillars and walls around.

 

The plate wouldn't be enough to protect them, Carol knew it and channelled her energy. She covered Natasha with her own body as she started to glow, the first rocks and pieces of destroyed walls falling onto the plate. Natasha was bending down, her hands on her head to protect it while the rest of her body was safe under Carol, who started to groan as the plate broke above them and big rocks crashed on her back. It didn't hurt, it was the amount of energy that Carol was draining from her own body that was exhausting her.

 

It became very hard for her to see, it was dark and full of dust around her when she managed to open her eyes. She knew Natasha was safe though, and that was what gave her the strength to keep going, to continue her effort, she had to protect the redhead. The rocks didn't hit her back anymore, it was like they were destroyed before reaching her but it was so intense to use that much energy in so little time that Carol eventually passed out.

 


 

Natasha woke up coughing, both her left hand and forehead bleeding. She didn't remember a lot of the moment she passed out, but she would for sure keep this memory in her mind forever; a golden light protecting both her and Carol. It had to come from the blonde, the colour was the same as when she was shining but she had never told her she could do this.

 

From what Natasha could see, they were trapped under rocks but one of them seemed to lead to the outside because there was light coming from underneath it. With a loud grunt, Natasha moved closer to Carol, who was sitting on the ground, her face grazed, bruised and dirty.

 

She seemed exhausted, that was what hit Natasha immediately. The redhead didn't know how Carol's powers worked exactly, but from her earlier screams that still echoed in her ears, it wasn't something she could do everyday.

 

Natasha stumbled on a rock as she tried to shift her position to be in front of Carol, "Shit," she cursed under her breath but finally stood before her.

 

"Carol," she said, gently lifting her face with her bleeding hand, "Carol, wake up, we have to go."

 

S.H.I.E.L.D – or rather HYDRA – was coming to verify if the two women were dead, it was standard procedure. They didn't have much time and Natasha couldn't move this rock, she needed Carol and now.

 

"Come on, Cap, you can't let me down now," she complained desperately as she fixed the other woman's hair.

 

After a few strokes in her messy hair, Carol slightly moved her head and grimaced as she whimpered, "Carol, look at me, we have to go now," Carol hummed, her eyeballs moving under her eyelids, "Come on, Carol, get up," Natasha said as she wrapped her arm around Carol's waist and pulled her against her side, the blonde somehow managing to stand.

 

"I need you to blast this," Natasha said as she pointed at the block of cement.

 

Carol slightly opened her eyes, the fatigue and weakness they were filled with making Natasha's heart ache but the blonde still rose her trembling clenched hand and a small blast blew up the stone.

 

After the dust faded away, Natasha gently pressed her lips on Carol's forehead before pulling them both out of this hole, "You did good," she whispered to Carol's ear, doing her best to carry her, the majority of the Captain's weight supported by Natasha's arm.

 

The world looked like it had ended, all the building surrounding the bucker had been blown out by the missile. Natasha had no landmark to know where to go and the sound of an engine coming their way forced her to choose a direction and never change it.

 

Hopefully, she took the right course and found the car they stole at the mall, somehow not affected by the explosion except for a window on the back that had become cracked. The noises of quinjets were getting closer so Natasha sped up her pace to reach the car and leave.

 

She opened the passenger's door, her hope that Carol could get in on her own crushed after one second. She helped her to sit, put her legs one by one inside before closing the door and running to the other side.

 

"We have to find Sam Wilson," Carol whispered as Natasha climbed on the driver seat, leaning forward to turn on the engine with the wires.

 

"You know where he lives?" Natasha asked as she fastened Carol's seat belt before her own.

 

Carol groaned, "No… Sorry."

 

"It's okay, I'll find him," Natasha assured as she shifted up the gear, "get some rest now."

 


 

Her whole body bouncing woke up Carol with a start. She suddenly opened her eyes and got blinded by the sun. One hand protecting her retina from burning, she searched her surrounding with the other and found a forearm, "Hey, slow down, we will be there soon."

 

She was fine, she was with Natasha. Relaxing in her seat, Carol exhaled sharply. Her sight becoming clearer, she looked at Natasha, who was glancing between her phone and the road, and suddenly wondered, "Where are we going?"

 

The redhead seemed confused when her eyes found Carol's, "You told me to find Sam Wilson. Well, I found him."

 

She didn't remember that, she had no memory of herself saying these words, she didn't even know how she got in this car in the first place.

 

"You don't remember anything after the explosion, do you?" Carol shook her head, "It's okay, I can tell you."

 

For the next and last minutes of the ride, Natasha told Carol about the how she blasted a wall while being half unconscious, how they almost got caught and that she did a kind of bubble of protection with her powers.

 

Carol didn't say it, but she had never done that before, she didn't know she was capable of such thing. Usually, when she was protecting people, the debris were breaking as they touched her, but back there it expanded and protected her as well as Natasha. She might have to get to the bottom of this one day but now was not the time, they just arrived at Sam's place.

 

Carol's first few steps resonated in her ears and she felt like someone was trying to open up her skull with a pneumatic drill.

 

"You okay?" Natasha asked as Carol pinched the bridge of her nose.

 

She was about to nod when she thought it might make her head hurt more, "Yeah, just tired," she replied, following Natasha up a staircase.

 

The redhead knocked as Carol climbed the last stairs and the blind opened just when she got there, "Hey," Sam greeted as he opened the French window.

 

"Sorry to barge in," Carol apologised, seeing Sam's worry on his features, "We need a place to hide for a bit."

 

"Everyone we know is trying to kill us," Natasha unnecessarily added, putting on more weight to their shoulders.

 

"Not everyone," Sam assured as he moved away to let the two women enter. He led the to his en-suite bathroom, giving them clean towels and left them alone.

 

Carol gestured towards the bathroom to tell Natasha to go first. Meanwhile, she sat on the armchair beside the door and rest her eyes. She must have dozed off because she didn't hear the water running in the shower nor Natasha exiting the bathroom, "Your turn, Cap," the redhead said and lightly punched Carol's arm.

 

With a yawn, Carol got up and went to the bathroom. Usually a fan of cold showers, she adjusted the water to a hot temperature before stepping under the spurt. The sensation was divine, the liquid was just hot enough to make Carol feel like she was in a tight hug with Natasha or Maria, but not too hot thus it didn't burn her skin. She washed her hair that was full of dust before her cleaning her body, discovering a few healing bruises on her ribs and hip.

 

As she stepped out of the shower and looked at herself in the mirror, Carol saw more wounds, scratches and cuts on the back of her neck and shoulders. They didn't hurt, her body wasn't sore, but she was still very tired. She didn't have to take care of these, her body was already healing up and the marks would disappear in a few hours but the exhaustion could be a problem really fast if she didn't take some actual rest.

 

But now wasn't the time for a long nap, as much as she wanted it.

 

After drying herself, Carol took her dirty clothes and put them on. She instantly felt like she hadn't showered, like all the dust on her tank top and jeans was penetrating her skin.

 

Finally dressed, Carol opened the door and found Natasha sitting on Sam's bed, staring into space.

 

"You okay?"

 

"Yeah," Natasha replied but it was the less convincing affirmation she had ever said to Carol.

 

The Captain sat in front of Natasha on the armchair, her hands mindlessly reaching for Natasha's, "Talk to me."

 

Natasha inhaled a long breath before matching Carol's worrying gaze, "When I first joined S.H.I.E.L.D I thought I was going straight but I guess I just traded in the KGB for HYDRA. I thought I knew whose lies I was telling, but I guess I can't tell the difference anymore."

 

Carol sat on the bed beside Natasha and pulled her closer, "You did the right thing when you joined. You couldn't have known HYDRA was still there, nobody did."

 

"But I still feel like shit about it."

 

"I know," Carol whispered before kissing Natasha's cheek.

 

Carol herself felt bad for working for an organisation that was corrupted but she nor Natasha had been recruited by a HYDRA member. The image of Nick's death as an 'accident' orchestrated by HYDRA to achieve their aim was a proof of that, and hopefully all the other people in S.H.I.E.L.D that Carol trusted were on the right side too.

 

"I can hear you thinking, Carol," The blonde shook her head, her thought fading away, "what's going on with you?"

 

Maybe it was the time to think about it, especially when Sam gave them all the time they needed to get better, it meant physically and mentally, "The bubble of power you talked about…" Natasha slowly nodded as she took Carol's hand, "I had never done that before."

 

The redhead didn't seem surprised, quite the contrary actually, "Can you think of any reason why you did this back there?"

 

Carol scoffed as she looked at Natasha's emerald eyes, of course she was the reason, "Yes…" she whispered as she slipped some red hair behind Natasha's ear, "I'm pretty sure I know why…"

 

Her hand now on Natasha's shoulder, Carol leaned forwards as her eyes looked down at Natasha's lips. She was waiting for a sign, whether to go for it or stop and Natasha squeezing her hand made her pick the former.

 

Before she could close the gap between them, Sam entered the room and spoke up, "I made breakfast," he began as Carol freed her hand from Natasha's, "if you guys eat that sort of thing."

 

He must have seen the tension between the two woman because he left directly after his sentence, which left Carol and Natasha in an awkward silence. After a few seconds that felt like an eternity, Natasha rested her head on Carol's shoulder, taking her hand back in hers, "We should go. I can't remember when was the last time I ate."

 

Carol lightly chuckled before kissing the top of Natasha's head, "Okay."

 

They joined Sam in the kitchen and sat around the table, the host serving them pancakes and pouring coffee in mugs, "So, what happened to you guys?" he asked as he leaned against the counter and buttered a toast.

 

Carol glanced at Natasha and nodded, telling her to talk first, "We were looking for answers, we found them and our enemy who send a missile in our faces."

 

"Answers about Nick Fury's death?" Sam asked, though it seemed clear that he knew it was about him, "he was all over the news and I know where you guys work," he added with a shrug before Natasha continued, "So, the question is, who at S.H.I.E.L.D. could launch a domestic missile strike?"

 

Carol gritted her teeth as she figured out the only possible answer, "Pierce…"

 

"Who happens to be sitting on top of the most secure building in the world."

 

"He must have allies, Zola's algorithm didn't find its way to the Lemurian Star on its own."

 

Natasha gasped lightly, "Jasper Sitwell."

 

"Then I guess the most wanted people of Washington have to kidnap a S.H.I.E.L.D officer."

 

"Or not," Sam interject, tossing a file on the table.

 

Carol looked at him as she took the file, "What's this?"

 

"Call it a résumé."

 

Natasha stood beside Carol and observed the picture, "Is this Bakhmala? The Khalid Khandil mission, that was you?" Sam nodded, "You didn't say he was a para-rescue," Natasha told Carol as she gave her the picture.

 

With Sam, there was a brown haired man, fitting exactly the description of his late best friend, "Riley?" Carol asked him and he nodded again.

 

"I heard they couldn't bring in the choppers because of the RPGs," Natasha told, same RPGs that killed Riley, Carol supposed, "What did you use? A stealth chute?"

 

"No," Sam said has he opened the file that was in Carol's hands, "these."

 

Carol's eyes widened when she saw the plans of wings drawn in the file, "I didn't know air force could make you actually fly," she laughed, "but you know, we are up against people with power, this could go to shit."

 

"Carol, if you need my help, I'm in."

 

If she was being honest, they did need the help and it made Carol emotional that Sam would take such a risk for them. She gave him a thanking smile, "Where can we find one of these?"

 

"The last one is at Fort Meade. Behind three guarded gates and a 12-inch steel wall."

 

With a shrug, Natasha confirmed that they could get them, "Shouldn't be a problem."

 

They all sat around the table to elaborate a plan as they ate breakfast. Natasha still had access to informations regarding S.H.I.E.L.D with her phone. It was encrypted so nobody could see her in the servers, looking for intel, a gift from Nick that was very useful at the moment. Sitwell had a lunch was the senator Stern at 1 PM so they decided to kidnap him after it, that way Natasha would have the time to go get Sam's suit.

 

Carol offered to come with Natasha to help but the redhead assured that she could do it alone, and she was adamant on the fact that Carol needed to rest, which was true.

 

The plan was simple: while Natasha was at Fort Meade to get the wings, Carol and Sam would get ready and later join her at the restaurant Sitwell would be. There, they would isolate him and threaten his life against informations, classic procedure.

 

Sam went to shower while Natasha got ready to leave, "You sure you can get in there and get out with this stuff?" Carol asked as she fixed the collar of Natasha's jacket.

 

"Doubting me, Danvers?"

 

Carol shook her head, "No! I know you can do it. I just… want you to be safe."

 

Natasha smiled as she took a step closer, "Carol, with the job we do, are we ever safe," she murmured before wrapping her arms around her neck.

 

"This is supposed to reassure me?"

 

After a soft kiss on her cheek, Natasha pulled out of the hug, "I'll be fine, now go get some rest."

Notes:

I think Carol is a vulnerable individual when she is not in her binary form, she bleeds, she gets hurt and she can die if her injuries are too severe. Also, she can't just turn full binary and destroy everything – that might be canon I'm not sure – she needs momentum, she has to fly a little before she can pass through things, that's why she couldn't fly through the bunker and destroy the incoming missile.

My take on Carol and her powers for this fiction is that she think she has figured it all out but actually didn't, and she discovers it with this new thing that she did to protect Natasha. There will be a part of the fic where she tries to understand this new thing and does tests to see what else she can do, and there she will reach her full power.

Chapter 18: Truth

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Carol was on the rooftop of a building, waiting for Sam to bring her Jasper Sitwell. After Natasha joined them both at a café close to the restaurant Sitwell was having lunch with senator Stern, she sophisticated their initial plan.

 

To bait Sitwell and isolate him, they needed him to go willingly where they wanted him to be, and for that they were going to threaten him through a phone call. With her phone, Natasha could fake the ID of the person calling and that way Sitwell would answer to them thinking he would talk to someone he knew. Sam was the one who would call because Sitwell knew Carol and Natasha, he would recognise their voices and not be cooperative. Then, Sam would take him to the two women and they would find a way to make him talk.

 

It had been half an hour since Carol got on that roof and her patience had reach its limit. She was on her own there while Sam was waiting for Sitwell to exit the restaurant and Natasha waiting in the elevator to make sure he wouldn't try to escape. There was no way for her to communicate with them, and that was the worst part of it, she needed to know what was going on.

 

"Come fucking on, why is it taking so long," she groaned to herself as she paced back and forth. It was not supposed to take that much time, they should be there already, but all of this really depended on when Sitwell would finish his lunch and they couldn't have an effect on this variable.

 

Carol was very close to take the stairs and go check on Sam when the elevator's door rang and Natasha exited it as she pushed Sitwell out. The man fell on his knees and elbows but Carol pulled him back on his feet and pushed him towards the edge of the roof, Natasha closely following them.

 

"What's Zola's algorithm?" she asked as they got closer to the end of the roof.

 

"Never heard of it."

 

Carol gritted her teeth, "Why were you on the Lemurian Star?"

 

"I was throwing up, I get seasick," he lied but karma is a bitch as one said and he stumbled on the edge of the roof but Carol caught him in time.

 

She kept staring daggers at him, hoping that the possibility of her throwing him of the roof would be enough for him to talk but his smirk said otherwise, "Is this little display meant to insinuate that you're gonna throw me off the roof?"

 

Carol tilted her head with hesitation as she looked at Natasha, "Huh… I mean not just me," she said and took a step back before both her and Natasha kicked him off the roof.

 

They shared a congratulatory glance as Sitwell fell and his screams faded away. He would be soon back on the roof though, Sam was bringing him back up there, but the plan was that he would be scared enough after his free falling to tell them what they wanted to know.

 

The screaming came back ten seconds later as Sam flew over them, dropped Sitwell on the roof and landed a few metres away. Carol had to say that he really looked good in this suit and she envied him for the flying, she really missed it.

 

As they stepped closer to Sitwell, he raised a hand up in defeat and answered their questions without them having to ask again, "Zola's algorithm is a program," he said, catching his breath, "for choosing… Insight's targets."

 

"Who are the targets?"

 

"You!" he exclaimed, fear in his eyes, "A TV anchor in Cairo, the Under Secretary of Defence, a high school Valedictorian in Iowa City, Bruce Banner, Stephen Strange, anyone who's a threat to HYDRA. Now, or in the future."

 

Carol frowned, "The future… How?"

 

To her surprise, Sitwell got back on his feet and laughed at her, "The 21st century is a digital book," he panted, "Zola taught HYDRA how to read it. Your bank records, medical histories, voting patterns, emails, phone calls, your damn SAT scores! Zola's algorithm evaluates people's past to predict their future."

 

"What happens to the targets?" Carol asked calmly, hoping that what she thought wasn't right.

 

"Oh, my God. Pierce is gonna kill me," Sitwell gasped, realising what secret he just told to three very determined people.

 

"What happens then?!" Carol asked more aggressively this time.

 

As Sitwell took a step back, Sam grabbed his jacket to hold him still, "Then the Insight helicarriers scratch people off the list… A few million at a time."

 

Punching him in the face was very tempting and would also help Carol to relax a bit but they didn't have time to fix him after shed break his cheekbone with all her strength. Instead, she grabbed his tie and dragged him to the elevator, "We have to go," she muttered and pressed the button to go down.

 

Every time the doors opened, the people that were waiting for the elevator would go away, Carol's infuriated face scared them and they didn't enter.

 

Both in the back of the elevator, Natasha shyly reached Carol's hand and laced her pointing and middle fingers with Carol's ring finger and pinkie. The blonde was touched by the attention and squeezed Natasha's fingers to tell her. She wanted to pull her closer, to take her in her arms and kiss her temple to thank her for caring. She needed to tell Natasha that she loved her, that she wanted her in her life, everyday, every minute, every second, that she would always be there for her for any reason that exist.

 

Now wasn't the moment for that, but whenever all this would be over, Carol would finally take her courage in both hands and have the talk with Natasha.

 

Getting to the car, Sam took off his suit while Carol pushed Sitwell inside and locked the door. Natasha sat on the back seat to keep an eye on the HYDRA member. Carol could see him in the corner of her eye from the passenger seat and Sam with the rear mirror as he would drive.

 

They were heading to S.H.I.E.L.D, Carol didn't even have to tell Sam, he knew that it was the only play they had. For the sake of millions of lives, they must stop the launch of Project Insight, but it wasn't going to be easy.

 

If she could, Carol would just fly inside and destroy the helicarriers, but not only she had to hide her powers but she also didn't feel like she could do that. Since the explosion the day before, since she did that protective shield or whatever was the term that Natasha used, she felt exhausted and weak. The two times she slept barely helped her feel better but she had to forget the fatigue and get her head in the game, a lot of people's survival depended on them succeeding.

 

As the three of them discussed the plan, completely ignoring their prisoner, he spoke up, which extremely annoyed Sam. He seemed to be as angry about the situation as Carol, even though he didn't know everything, which confirmed that he was a good and smart guy and that Carol was lucky to have him as an ally.

 

The best – but not safest – plan for Carol was to use Sitwell to get to the helicarriers. Since he had a clearance level 7 and was a friend of Pierce, he had access to the helicarriers unlike Natasha and her level 6 and Carol and her unfriendly relationship with the World Council member.

 

Her idea being told to the group, it didn't please Jasper Sitwell, "What? Are you crazy?" he shouted through the car, his voice irritating Carol's sensible eardrums, "This is a terrible, terrible idea."

 

The next thing Carol knew was that Sitwell had been grasped by the collar and pulled out of the car by someone who had landed on the roof of the car. He was thrown away and got hit by a truck on the other side of the road, their free pass to S.H.I.E.L.D and witness of HYDRA's action had just been killed.

 

Carol looked up at the roof as she heard a loud footstep to try and locate where the person was.

 

But before she succeeded, Natasha jumped from her seat onto Carol's lap, a first gun shot passing through the metal of the bodywork as the redhead wrapped her arms around Carol's shoulders, forcing her to lean forward as a second bullet shredded the headrest of Carol's seat and then Sam's who somehow dodged it. Sitting back, Carol saw the handbrake and instinctively pulled it, the tires screeching as the car slowed and threw the person off the roof.

 

It was him. The guy who killed Nick. The guy Carol chased and who escaped. He was there, sliding along the road, his metal arm digging into the tarmac until the frictions stop him.

 

He stood on his feet and stared at the car, only his hair was floating in the wind. Natasha took her gun, aimed at him but before she could pull the trigger, a car hit them from behind and she dropped the weapon.

 

The car pushed them towards him, the Winter Soldier as Natasha called him, and they couldn't do anything else than watch him jumping over their car and landing on the roof. Sam was trying to keep control of the car, steering the wheel and applying the brake but it didn't work, and the Winter Soldier breaking the windscreen and removing the wheel off of the car didn't help.

 

Natasha managed to get her gun back but her bullets didn't find their target. The Winter Soldier jumped off the car a second before they hit a civilian vehicle with the side of their Chevrolet. They had no more control over their vehicle, and one last push from the car behind them threw them off route. The driver's side of the car hit the wall that separated the road in two, then the tires bumped into it which sent the car flying in the air.

 

Knowing that the car would soon roll over, Carol seized the handle of her door with one hand and Sam's shirt with the other, Natasha firmly holding Carol's jacket when she understood what her plan was. With a strong kick on the dashboard, Carol broke the door that was now underneath her and they fell on the road, the metal of the door scraping the cement as the car rolled and got even more destroyed in front of them.

 

Sam eventually lost his grip and rolled on the road as the door finally stopped sliding. The car with the Winter Soldier and his men was a dozen of metres ahead and as Carol got up she saw him taking a heavy weapon. It wasn't a simple rifle, that was sure, and unfortunately for her, Carol discovered its true nature in the worst way. The Winter Soldier pulled the trigger that shot a large calibre bullet. Barely up, Carol didn't have any other solution than pushing Natasha away, as far as possible, before throwing a punch in direction of the bullet, hoping that she had enough strength remaining in her to destroy in with a photon blast.

 

The bullet met her knuckle and started to melt but when the inside charge touched Carol's glowing fist, it exploded and threw her away. Her moment in the air was a blur, but the scream of pain she cried out when her back hit the road under the bridge they were on; that she could not forget.

 

People were yelling around her, they were afraid, terrified even of what was happening but Carol couldn't get up, couldn't open her eyes, her back was hurting too hard. Grunting, she could hear fire shots from afar and hoped that Natasha and Sam were safe.

 

Rolling on her belly, Carol felt a metal surface on her side and found out she was covered by an upside down bus. People were running not far from her, probably the people from the bus that were fleeing this fight. Clenching her fists as hard as she could, Carol groaned and pulled herself on her elbows, breathing in deep pants as she rubbed her face and finally got her eyes open.

 

She had no way to see the bridge, and just when she wanted to stick out her head and watch, someone shot in her direction with an automatic rifle. Staying flat on her stomach, Carol did her best to gather her strengths and recover from her fall, slowing her breathing while the person shooting at her was out of ammo.

 

If it was the weapon Carol thought – it had to be considering how fast it fired and how many bullets had already been shot – it would take a moment for the blonde to be able to move form her hiding place. And even then, there must be other people waiting for her. Beginning to feel better, Carol tried to figure out a plan of action but men screaming in pain stopped her thinking. After two people got shot, the one with the automatic weapon stopped shooting as well and that's when Carol decided to get up and shot the last man standing.

 

Sam was up on the bridge, smirking as the rays of energy around Carol's hand faded, "He went that way," he shouted, pointing in direction of the city centre, "he went after Natasha."

 

It was like Sam knew this detail would make Carol run faster. If the Winter Soldier was after Natasha, she had to get there fast, because they would encounter civilians and Carol knew damn well that the redhead would do everything in her power to prevent any casualties, even if it meant getting herself hurt in the process.

 

Hearing an explosion, Carol ran even faster, as if she was flying with her powers yet it was her feet that were propelling her towards the sound. Passing by people running away, Carol went were they came from and finally saw the Winter Soldier, standing on a car and aiming another on.

 

Sure that Natasha was behind that car, Carol didn't think twice and blasted him. He fell on his back and his rifle got thrown away as Carol ran towards him. She used her opened hands as protection when he took a gun out of its holster and fired, the bullets melting as they touched her skin. Carol climbed on the car but got instantly pushed away by a kick in her stomach.

 

Landing on her butt, Carol used the momentum of the fall to roll back on her feet. With her clenched hands up, she prepared herself for a hand to hand combat as the Winter Soldier took a knife and walked straight to her.

 

They exchanged punches that they easily blocked or dodged, Carol keeping an eye on his knife each time he struck. She was amazed by how fast he was and even more by her capacity to avoid every one of his attacks considering her state of fatigue. His punches from his left metal arm were stronger than the one form his right human arm, which really helped Carol since her ambidextrous side got reinforced by hours of sparing against a left-handed redhead. The Winter Soldier still had the advantage in the fight, throwing the most punches as Carol walked backwards.

 

But, after a strike that she easily dodged, Carol saw an opening and punched him in his mask. It didn't unsettle him though and he replied with a strong left hook that Carol had to block with both her hands. With all the muscles of her arms flexed, Carol gritted her teeth and groaned as she pushed him away, only for him to jump back on her and sink her shoulders and back into a van.

 

Completely stuck in the bodywork of the van, Carol could only withstand the Winter Soldier's punches in her face as she struggled to try and get out. Strangling her with his left hand, the Winter Soldier punched with his right hand and every hit was harder than the one before. Carol started to feel the taste of blood in her mouth when she managed to grip the sleeve of his right arm and stop him from beating the shit out of her.

 

She didn't know from where she was getting these last bits of resources but she held on to them and kept his fist away from her face as he pressed her even more in the metal of the van. As he pushed her more inside the bodywork, she passed through it, giving her more space to move and attack him. With her right foot, she kicked him as hard as she could in the chin, which made him lose his grip on her neck as he fell on the ground.

 

With her last strengths, Carol extracted herself from the van and landed on her knee, her forehead sweating and nose bleeding as she saw who was standing in front of her. She laughed internally.

 

James Barnes. It was him. She recognised him from the pictures in Steve Rogers' file.

 

He had a gun pointed right in direction of her head, but before he could shoot her, Sam flew in and kicked him away.

 

Carol still couldn't believe it, she had read in the file that someone had experimented on him. Not just someone, she remembered, it was Zola, the same person that was in the basement of the S.H.I.E.L.D facility she visited with Natasha a day ago.

 

So much was going on, in her head and around her, that Carol didn't feel that she was passing out until she fell forward and hit her head in the cement, the last thing she saw being Natasha, leaning against a car with the same weapon the Winter Soldier used on the bridge to shoot at her in her hands.

 


 

The car exploded beside the Winter Soldier, but as the smoke and dust faded away in the wind Natasha couldn't see him anywhere, he was gone.

 

Then she saw Carol laying on the ground, unconscious, but before she could go and see her, she heard sirens coming their way. Soon, half a dozen S.H.I.E.L.D cars parked, surrounding them to make sure they wouldn't try to escape – Sam with his wings could but both Carol and Natasha were too tired or unconscious to run away. Agent Rumlow and his Strike team got out of the vehicles, all heavily armed and highly alert. At least six agents walked with their rifles pointed at Sam while Rumlow and Rollins took care of Carol, picking her up as if she was common rug that you want to throw in the trash.

 

Natasha kept her eyes on the blonde as agents handcuffed her, the hole in her shoulder hurting like Hell but she didn't give these HYDRA's people the pleasure to hear her suffering. They pushed her in a van where were two mercenaries with helmets and masks and Sam and Carol, both handcuffed, Carol with some large restrains on her wrists, ankles and around her stomach despite the fact that she was unconscious.

 

Since she used her powers to get out of S.H.I.E.L.D a couple of days ago, it didn't surprise Natasha that they took so many extreme measures to make sure Carol would be neutralised, even if Natasha knew that it took more than some Earth's technology to hold her back.

 

They made her sit beside Sam, Carol right in front of her. Natasha grunted when the vehicle started moving, the sudden motion making her body hit the cold thick metal that was her back rest.

 

It became hard for her to keep her eyes opened, but she had to fight the exhaustion, she had to focus on Carol who was completely vulnerable and at HYDRA's mercy. Natasha was feeling her own blood running down her chest and back, soaking her tank top, but it wasn't what pained her the most.

 

Carol was bleeding too, from her nose and her mouth, droplets were leaking and falling on the floor of the van. Blue blood, running down her cheek because of a cut. The left side of her face was bruised and Natasha couldn't do anything about it. Even if she wasn't wounded, Natasha knew that the second she would move, one of the agent would neutralise her, therefore she couldn't take the risk.

 

But damn, she wanted to.

 

At every jolt of the car, Carol's body was shaken, her head bouncing against the wall on her left and behind her. Natasha couldn't witness this anymore, seeing Carol getting even more hurt made her sick, and the pain from the bullet hole in her body was getting worse.

 

When she finally let herself rest for a few seconds, Sam noticed her pain and spoke up, "We need to get a doctor here. We don't put pressure on that wound she's gonna bleed out-"

 

The agent he talked to didn't let him finish and threatened him with an electrified baton. Natasha closed her eyes again, thinking both her and Carol were going to die in this truck. Suddenly, she heard the baton getting switched on, a hit and a grunt and the next thing she knew, Maria was one of the agents and the other was lying on the floor.

 

"That thing was squeezing my brain," the dark haired woman complained before looking at Sam, then Natasha, "who is this guy?" she asked, and Natasha didn't even bother to answer.

 

"Can you get us out of here?"

 


 

Chaos. That was what Carol first felt.

 

Her head was like a ticking bomb ready to explode, her mouth and nose were waterfalls and there was so many noises around her that she couldn't recognise any one of them. Until her favourite melodious voice whispered her name.

 

"Carol…" the blonde tilted her head in direction of the sound, "hey, can you look at me?"

 

She slightly nodded, but it actually took her at least ten second to open her eyes. When she did, she saw that Natasha's eyes were barely opened too and they both had a hard time keeping their gazes straight.

 

"We have to escape at the next stop or we won't escape at all," a voice Carol knew said.

 

Searching for informations, Carol's eyes wandered around and she gasped when she saw Maria digging a hole in the van's floor with a sort of laser. Her gaze back on Natasha's, the other woman shook her head, "I don't know what is going on either."

 

"Time to go," Maria ordered as the vehicle stopped.

 

She went first, followed by Natasha. Then, Sam offered his hand to help Carol and she went down the hole and crawled as fast as she could, Sam getting out last.

 

She had no time to analyse where they were before Maria called her name, "We have a truck that way."

 

Carol was confused, she didn't know what had happened between the moment she passed out and now, but it seemed like they escaped whoever had taken them.

 

They walked for five minutes until they found the vehicle Maria talked about, "Get in, there's medical stuff back there."

 

The blonde thought Maria was talking about her, but then she climbed into the back of the truck and noticed the blood on Natasha's jacket.

 

"What happened?" she suddenly asked as she sat beside the redhead, "he shot me," she weakly replied, her eyes barely opened.

 

"Let me see," Carol said as she slightly lifted the jacket to have a better look at the wound. Sam had the first aid kit and gave Carol gauzes for her to apply pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, Natasha whimpering in response, "Sorry," Carol whispered to her ear.

 

"You too have some serious wounds, Carol," Sam told her but since she realised Natasha was hurt, she didn't feel weak anymore, "I'm fine," she replied dryly, not even looking at him.

 

Natasha was loosing too much blood and the gauzes quickly became useless, so Sam took an old t-shirt that was in the van and ripped it in half. With one part of the cloth absorbing the majority of the blood that was flowing from the entry wound the bleeding would start to slow in the next minutes.

 

Carol remained close to the redhead, even after she told her that she could keep the pressure on her wound on her own. Natasha was holding the cloth and Carol had her hand on hers, tracing small circles on her skin to soothe her. Natasha quickly relaxed, pressing her head against Carol's shoulder while the other woman rubbed her back slowly.

 

After about half an hour, Maria stopped the van and opened the sliding door. Carol got out first to see that they were at a dam, surrounded by woods. Then, she helped Natasha stepping out of the van, the redhead lightly whimpering as she put her weight on Carol's shoulder with her left arm.

 

Maria led them inside where a person, that Carol recognised to be Nick's surgeon in the hospital, ran towards them, "GSW, she's lost at least a pint," Maria shouted.

 

"Maybe two," Sam added.

 

"Let me take her."

 

"They'll want to see him first."

 

Carol and Natasha shared a confused gaze. This couldn't be happening, Maria did meant Nick when she said him. They hadn't been lied to again. As they walked down the long corridor towards this him, the atmosphere got heavier, the air hard to breathe and Carol could only think about the possibility that Nick faked his death and played her once again to get what he wanted by lying in the process.

 

They reached the end of the corridor and Nick was there, holding his stomach as he lied in a medical bed. He was alive, maybe not well but he was breathing, his heart beat on the screen of the monitor and an IV in his arm.

 

He didn't die. Carol cried for his death, but he actually didn't die.

 

She felt her blood boiling, rage overwhelming her. One second she was holding Natasha with both her arms, the next she had shot a blast in direction of Nick, that went above his head and created a large hole in the wall behind him.

 

They all looked at her in shock, and even Carol wasn't a hundred percent sure of what she just did, but she knew why she did it, "Just making sure it wasn't another lie," she said casually yet she wanted to scream, to express how sad and disappointed she was because Nick still didn't trust her.

 

If she could, she would have left, anywhere would be better than to be in this gloomy cave with Nick, but she stayed for Natasha. The doctor's stuff was there and he had to close this bullet hole as soon as possible.

 

There wasn't enough seats for Carol to sit beside Natasha so she stood behind her instead, a hand on her none wounded shoulder and listened to whatever Nick had to say as the doctor took the bullet out of Natasha's body. She was more attentive to Natasha's small whimper of pain and grimaces than to him reciting the list of his wounds, but it somehow made her feel good that he really suffered.

 

Bored by all the chitchats, Carol sighed and asked the question that both her and Natasha wondered, "Why didn't you tell us? We mourned you Nick."

 

"Any attempt on the Director's life had to look successful," Maria replied, but it was the opposite of what Carol wanted to hear, "so you made us believe you actually died so it would look more real? Just stop lying and say that you don't trust us."

 

He didn't reply but his eyes said it all, she was right.

 

After New York, and all the missions Carol and Natasha worked on together, the blonde innocently thought that she was trusted by her friend, but she had been a fool all along. She knew it after his behaviour with the mission on the Lemurian Star, but when he came to her apartment and gave her the drive, she thought she had been overthinking. Nick was actually exactly like Tony described him, the spy, and the list of his lies was longer than the infinity of planets Carol visited in her life as Captain Marvel.

 

Carol then looked down and squeezed Natasha's shoulder, the latter quickly glancing back at her. She wasn't even trying to hide her disappointment, which was really unlike her. Even if she was tired because of the blood loss, usually fatigue didn't prevent her from hiding her feelings, but now, she was showing them to a man she had always looked up to, who was more than just her boss. Natasha would never admit it, but Nick was like a father to her, and since she joined S.H.I.E.L.D she did everything he asked, even lied to Carol just to please him, but it never was enough.

 

Seeing Natasha's pain added more weight on Carol's shoulders and she could not handle it anymore. She needed to get out and as much as she wanted to stay with Natasha, the doctor was far from being done with her shoulder so Carol left, trusting her feet to take them somewhere where Nick wouldn't disappoint her again.

 

She went up a staircase and found a room with only a table filling it and a single bulb enlightening it. Carol walked to the table's level, letting her fingers slowly sliding on the wood it was made of as she walked around it. She circled around the table, looking down at her feet, her brain completely off, and admired her own shadow on the ground.

 

Not even five minutes after she got there, she heard footsteps in the stairs before the person declared themselves, "It's me," it was Sam, "Natasha said that, even if you were you, you still needed medical care for your wounds."

 

Carol stopped pacing, "Of course she did," she said under her breath and sat on the table, her arms crossed.

 

"Can I?" Sam asked as he showed Carol the first aid kit he had in his hand and she nodded to let him treat her.

 

"So… the whole blue blood thing and shiny hands…" he began as he poured disinfectant on a gauze. Seeing that Carol didn't reply, he continued, "It's fine if you don't wanna tell me, we met four days ago after all."

 

"It's not that I don't want to tell you. I believe you would keep the secret if I tell you, I'm just too tired to explain everything right now."

 

"Okay. I'll be happy to listen when you'll want to tell me."

 

This man was too good to be true, Carol thought, unlike so many men in the world.

 

Most of the men Carol knew – beside Nick until he betrayed her – were nice but had this one little flaw that made them annoying. Whether it was Tony, Clint, Thor, her father or her brother, they were all not bad people but also weren't good because of at least one of their personality traits. Bruce was a good man too, but because he still terrified Natasha, Carol forced herself not to talk to him much when they went to New York a couple of times, knowing that she would also be scared of her getting hurt by him.

 

Sam and Carol were alike on many things and completed each other on the rest. He was understanding and a good listener, as she discovered when she bought them drinks, and he really cared about all the people he worked with, Carol not being an exception.

 

She was glad she met him and was looking forward to discover more about this man and how he became who he was now.

 

He meticulously patched her up, his motions precise and hands gentle. Thinking about the time Natasha stitched her forehead, Carol remembered how she whined back then and realised she only did it because it was the redhead taking care of her. Right now, she felt as much pain as she did on that first mission with S.H.I.E.L.D, but the fact that it was Sam cleaning her cuts and not Natasha made her change the way she acted.

 

When he was done, Sam tidied all the stuff he used and spoke up, "What are we going to do?"

 

Carol wasn't sure to understand what he meant, but right now she wasn't sure of anything – except her feelings for Natasha, "I don't know, but I think he has some ideas," thinking about Nick hurt her heart, but she quickly pulled herself together and forgot her emotions, "Thank you for that, Sam."

 

"You're welcome, Cap!" he said as he took a step back.

 

Carol watched him going away and as he entered the stairs someone else arrived on the floor.

 

"Let me see if he did a good job," Natasha said as she reached Carol's level and carefully observed her healing wounds, her fingertips slightly brushing her sensible skin, "your perfect face should still be perfect after you fully heal."

 

"Why do you care so much about my face?" Carol asked, looking up at Natasha as she was still sitting on the table.

 

The redhead took a step forward, standing in between Carol's spread legs, "I think you know," she whispered and cupped Carol's cheeks. Carol closed her eyes and let the redhead pull her into her arms, her gentle fingers running up and down her neck and Carol wrapped her arms around her waist. She buried her face in the crook of Natasha's neck, careful not to hurt her by inadvertently touching her gun shot wound.

 

Of course she knew, just like Natasha knew why Carol did this thing she had never done before with her powers. There were so many unspoken things between them, feelings that needed to be out for them to move forward in their relationship, for their relationship to evolve into something new, something that would be as beautiful as it'd be scary, but together they could do it, they would do it, but now was not the time.

 

For now, all these things remained unsaid.

 

"You know you are cute when you are grumpy," Natasha told her with a sarcastic undertone.

 

Carol pulled away slowly, but kept her hands on Natasha's hips, "I'm not grumpy, I'm pissed… and I know you are too."

 

Natasha clenched her jaw as she sighed, Carol glimpsed it, she was used to these micro expressions now. She also noticed the little tension of the muscles of her neck, telling her that Natasha was emotional about the matter.

 

"I thought he trusted me…" she began with another sigh, "when he gave me that mission, I thought that lying to you would prove that I was trustworthy but it didn't and it hurt you and I don't think I can ever forgive myself for that."

 

"I'm not mad at you for that, you know," Carol instantly replied, seeing that Natasha was really affected by her actions and their consequences, "If you had been anybody else we wouldn't be talking right now, but it's us," she stopped and stood up, her hands reaching Natasha's jaw, "it's you and I can't be mad at you. I forgave you already… I forgive you, Natasha."

 

After a soft kiss on her forehead, Carol pulled Natasha into a hug, just tightly enough not to hurt her still sore shoulder.

 

"I'm really sorry, Carol," Natasha murmured to her ear and Carol kissed her temple in response, "You don't have to be … It's okay."

 

"I feel like I betrayed you."

 

Carol pulled out and pressed her forehead against Natasha's, "You didn't," she assured, "it was all him. He played with us, used us and that's what hurt us. You didn't do anything to me, okay?"

 

Natasha nodded before Carol pulled her closer and kissed the corner of her mouth. She lingered a bit, enjoying the little contact she had with Natasha's lips until a sudden sound surprised them both.

 

Natasha grabbed her hand as they both looked in direction of the stairs, from where the sound came from, and the person that appeared made their bubble of comfort burst.

 

Nick. He somehow got out of bed, despite all his injuries, and went upstairs.

 

Carol glared at him as he struggled to joined them and didn't even try to act like she cared that he did all this just to talk to them, "I don't want to hear your bullshit today," she told him and left without a last glance at Natasha.

 


 

"You know I should follow her and ignore whatever you are going to tell me, right?" Natasha said as she watched him leaning against the table. She had so many questions, wanted so many answered, but at the same time she knew she would be even more disappointed and couldn't asked them, "We thought you were dead, Nick," she told him instead, just to remind him that he hurt them again with his lie.

 

"I had to keep the circle small," he replied, unable to look at Natasha in the eyes, "you would have done the same thing."

 

He was right, she would have, but he would have been a part of it. Him, Carol and Clint were the three people she trusted in her life and knowing that he didn't feel the same way made her sick in the stomach.

 

"I know," she eventually mumbled, "that's the problem," she added to put the burden of her sadness on his shoulders, although she wasn't sure it would affect him.

 

After one last glance, she walked to the stairs and didn't look back, leaving him alone with his guilt.

 

On the lower floor, she found Carol lying on a couch, dozing, while Sam and Maria were sitting around the table in an awkward silence. She was stepping in Carol's direction when Maria called her, "We have some things to discuss to stop the launch of project Insight."

 

Natasha barely looked at her, the idea of a briefing not appealing at the moment, "We still have twelve hours before the launch, so if the plan is already made and you just have to explain it to us, I rather rest first."

 

Maria didn't reply, which told Natasha that she was right. It was the least they could have done, Maria and Nick while Carol and Natasha were figuring out on their own what was happening, they at least thought about a plan.

 

And even if they had not, Natasha hadn't slept in two days and needed to rest, and what best for that than sharing an old couch with Carol. The blonde was deep in it, as if she knew Natasha would join and therefore need space to lay down.

 

First, Natasha sat beside her and stroked her thumb on Carol's cheek, just to let her know that she was there. Then, she laid down, pressing her back against Carol's chest and the latter wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her closer as she buried her face in Natasha's red hair.

 

Natasha's younger self would be ashamed of her for showing affection to someone with witnesses around, but at that moment, she didn't care. Carol was her safe place, the one person that made her feel good, appreciated and alive and she would never be ashamed of that. She gave herself to Carol a long time ago, that night when they went to the ballet, she shared things she had never told anyone, not even Clint, and by the way Carol reacted she knew she could trust her, she could be herself with her. Yet, there were still things that she didn't tell her, but she would at some point, when the moment would be right. Now, on this couch and in Carol's arms was what was right, and Natasha wasn't going to stop herself from enjoying every second of it.

 


 

Carol got awakened by Maria and Nick talking, which really didn't put her in a good mood to start a new day. Opening her eyes, she first checked that Natasha was still asleep, which she was considering how she slightly scrunched her nose – something she never did when she was awake – and then she looked at the other people in the room, who were getting ready to stop HYDRA.

 

Maria was on a computer talking logistic with Sam while Nick was staring at a picture in his hand. Not that she really cared but he seemed affected, upset by whatever was on the picture and piqued her curiosity.

 

"Time to get ready," Maria said as she noticed that Carol was awake.

 

With a roll of her eyes, the blonde looked down at the still-asleep woman she was holding in her arms and kissed her cheek, "Hey beautiful, it's time to kick some ass," she whispered and Natasha replied with a groan, "come on, Maria is staring at us, it's actually scary."

 

Natasha slightly chuckled as she sat up, Carol doing the same before getting up and joined Sam, Maria and Nick around the table.

 

"This man declined the Nobel Peace Prize," Nick began as he tossed a picture of Alexander Pierce on the table, "He said peace wasn't an achievement, it was a responsibility."

 

Valid point, Carol thought, even though the way he wanted to get peace was the worst one.

 

"See, it's stuff like this that gives me trust issues," Nick added, glancing between Carol and Natasha, but this was the opposite of what they wanted to hear. What they were waiting for was an apology, for all the lies and the manipulations, but deep down they knew it was very unlikely that he would ever apologise to them.

 

"How do we stop the launch?" Natasha asked, looking at Maria but the answer came from Nick, "With these," he said and opened a briefcase with electronic devices in it.

 

"What's that?" asked Sam.

 

Maria turned the screen of her computer, showing them how the launch of Project Insight would work, "Once the helicarriers reach three thousand feet, they'll triangulate with Insight satellites, becoming fully weaponized."

 

Nick continued, "We need to breach those carriers and replace their targeting blades with our own."

 

"One or two won't cut it. We need to link all three carriers for this to work, because if even one of those ships remains operational… a whole lot of people are gonna die," Maria concluded, her last word grave, reminding them all the importance of this mission.

 

"We have to assume everyone aboard those carriers is HYDRA. We have to get past them, insert these server blades. And maybe, just maybe we can salvage what's left-"

 

"I'm sorry Nick, but there is nothing to save," Carol interrupted, "S.H.I.E.L.D is corrupted, it has been since its very first days. We can't just fire the bad guys and keep the good ones."

 

"S.H.I.E.L.D had nothing to do with this!" Nick interjected, not ready to let go of the organisation he worked for the majority of his life.

 

"We can't take the risk. S.H.I.E.L.D has to go if we want to be sure that HYDRA won't interfere in governmental matters again."

 

"She is right," Maria told him.

 

Nick glanced at Natasha who just stared back at him, and then he looked at Sam and he delivered the best answer Carol could have dreamt of, "She came to me and trusted me, do you think I'll ever go against her?"

 

After a light chuckle, Nick finally matched Carol's gaze, "Well… It looks like you're giving the orders now, Captain."

 

"Right… then I need to know everything you planned."

 

Maria showed them a plan of the helicarriers and where they should put the targeting blades. They were set so all three carriers would open fire on the other two after Maria would take control of them. She had to get inside S.H.I.E.L.D, which wouldn't be too hard considering her level of clearance, and then she would orchestrate everything from a control room.

 

Carol and Sam were the ones in charge of the blades, Carol would have to change two of them in the helicarrier one and three while Sam would do it in the second one. Natasha still injured, she couldn't be in any fight and would infiltrate the World Security Council thanks to a new technology that only Nick had had access to in S.H.I.E.L.D and that he kept until it'd be useful. Hers and Nick's mission was to get into S.H.I.E.L.D's data base and to leak it all over the internet to expose all HYDRA's doing and get proofs of Pierce implications in all of them.

 

Of course, all of S.H.I.E.L.D's secrets would also be revealed to the world. Natasha's past, Carol's true identity, every single mission report would be out for the world to see it.

 

Carol was fine about it, she hated to hide her powers and with her story being out, she could finally be who she was. Her worries were about Natasha, she didn't know if the redhead could handle all the world knowing about who she was and what she had done, but they had to do it for the greater good and Natasha would sacrifice her own well being for it.

 

There was one last detail that Carol kept to herself all along the planning of this mission, but she had to tell the one person she trusted before getting ready.

 

As Maria and Fury left with Sam to give him his suit that they somehow got back from Strike team, Carol took Natasha aside and told her the truth, "The Winter Soldier, I know who he is."

 

Natasha seemed confused but didn't say anything, "I saw him in Rogers' file, he was his best friend, James Barnes."

 

"Keep going."

 

"It was said that Barnes died during a mission, but before that, his unit had been captured and the Red Skull's best scientist, Zola, experimented on them."

 

"So you are saying that he actually didn't die back then and that HYDRA turned him into a killing bot… sounds plausible."

 

"The problem is that he is probably not himself anymore."

 

"One more reason to kill him if you see him," Natasha replied but Carol was not think the same and she noticed it, "… or not? What do you have in mind?"

 

Carol sighed, her idea was a utopia in which she would be able to talk to him, but he seemed more like a punch-first-talk-later kind of guy, "What if I could get him to remember his past? Maybe he would realise he had been… used," she explained.

 

Natasha slowly stepped closer, taking Carol's hand as she did, "If you have the possibility, you can try. But please don't put yourself in danger to save him, there are people who still need you."

 

By people she meant her but it was the cutest way she could tell Carol to be careful. After a gentle squeeze, Carol released Natasha's hand and headed to the exit of the dam.

 

"Where are you going?" Natasha shouted as Carol walked away.

 

"I can't fight like that! I need a suit!" she replied and started running in the corridor she arrived from a few hours earlier.

 

Outside, she took a few more steps before taking off the ground, the wind in her hair and the sensation of floating so familiar yet they felt so unknown. Carol didn't even remember when was the last time she used her powers to fly but it for sure hadn't felt so great at that time.

 

She glowed in the night sky like a shooting star, going to the south of the country were her original Captain Marvel suit was, in the closet of her room in her best friend's house.

 

After less than an hour, Carol landed in Maria's front yard and used the key that was under one of the flower pots on the patio to enter. As discreetly as possible, she went to her room, took her suit and put it on.

 

It had been so long since the last time she wore this suit, more than two years, and she really missed it. The suits S.H.I.E.L.D made for her were great, but as well as having a tracker in them they weren't as comfortable as this one. She got it on Hala and it was made from a fibre that only the Kree knew how to manipulate to make clothes. This fibre was adapting itself to Carol's morphology, whether she gained or lost muscles or weight she would perfectly fit in her suit.

 

Admiring herself in the mirror, she didn't hear the door of her room opening, "Carol?!" Maria exclaimed as she entered, "Whatcha doin' here?" she asked as she pulled Carol in her arms.

 

The blonde giggled, she hadn't plan to see her best friend and certainly didn't expect such a nice welcoming after their last conversation and the decision she took because of it, "It's kinda hard to explain but what I can tell you is that I need my suit to save a lot of people."

 

Maria stepped out of the embrace and smirked, "Of course you do."

 

"It's good to see you Maria."

 

"You too, Carol," she replied before giving a tap on the shoulder, "I wish we could talk but I heard you have to save people so go, fly Captain Marvel!"

Notes:

You might wonder why Carol suddenly got her power back? Well, it’s something that will be discovered later on the fic, when Carol will try to have a better understanding of her powers.

Also, I have to inform you that there won't be a new chapter of What If next friday but I will still post something.
So I'll see you again with this fic the 25th for my Christmas present to you all, I'm sure you'll love it.

Chapter 19: The Winter Soldier

Notes:

Merry Christmas to everybody celebrating it, I hope you are having a great time. This is kind of my present for you all, you will understand why ;)
Reminder that next week, there won't be a new chapter of What If again but another surprise, and then it will be one chapter a week again.

 

TW blood

Chapter Text

Carol, Maria and Sam stood in front of the door of the control room, where Maria needed to be while the other two would be on the helicarriers. The three of them were needed there in order to throw out the people that were inside and then Carol would have to tell the entirety of S.H.I.E.L.D's building that HYDRA was infiltrated to warn the agents that were good.

 

Meanwhile, Natasha was already undercover inside the building as councilwoman Hawley with the rest of the World Security Council members, including Alexander Pierce, and Nick was on his way for his big come back when the helicarriers would be down.

 

To enter the control room, Maria used a program that turned off S.H.I.E.L.D intern communication system, knowing that one of the man inside would have to go out of the room to fix the problem. When one did, Sam and Maria took aim at him so he would let them pass. This room was filled with tech agents therefore none of them was armed, which made it a lot more easier for Carol to throw them out and take control.

 

Maria sat at the desk of the main computer, getting everything ready for Carol's big speech while the blonde was starting to think about what she was going to say. She wasn't used to be the one doing the pep talk, yes she did it a few times when she worked at S.H.I.E.L.D because she was in charge of the operation but she usually didn't have to talk to anyone because she was working on her own.

 

Nothing seemed appropriate for the situation as she kept imagining her whole intervention in her head so she completely stopped thinking, closed her eyes and breathed deeply until Maria called her and told her that it was time.

 

Carol stepped toward the microphone and lean against the desk. She closed her eyes again, thought about Natasha who would hear her talking and started, "To all S.H.I.E.L.D agents, this is Captain Danvers. You all have heard about me, some of you only recently over rumours and orders to track me down, but I think now is the time for you to know the truth. S.H.I.E.L.D had been compromised, it had been for a long time, by an organisation you all know, HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader, the Strike team and Insight crew are HYDRA as well and there are others that I don't know about, they could be standing right beside you."

 

Carol paused, opened her eyes and saw Maria giving her a supporting nod, "They almost have what they want, absolute control. They shot Nick Fury because he was in their way of succeeding and it won't end there. If you launch those helicarriers today, HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that is against them, anyone that wouldn't choose their side if they were given the choice, unless we stop them. But now, I am giving you a choice. You can do the easy thing that is to not do anything at all and let them win, or you can choose to fight, for your family, your friends, colleagues, but first and foremost for your own freedom. I know what I'm asking is difficult, but I'm sure I'm not the only one willing to fight in order to be free."

 

Maria turned off the microphone as Carol moved away from it with a sigh and looked outside at the water that surrounded the building.

 

"What now?" Sam asked as he joined.

 

"Now we wait," Carol replied, knowing that HYDRA would soon get to Project Insight control room and lunch the helicarriers two hours before it was planned.

 

And just like expected, the water Carol was looking at started to tremble, whirlpool forming where the giant traps were opening to let the helicarriers fly.

 

"That's our moment," Carol stated and rushed out of the room so fast that she almost didn't hear Maria wishing them good luck.

 

The control room being close to where the carriers were launched, Carol and Sam quickly got there, but one of the ships, that one that Sam had to get on, was already in the sky.

 

"Hey Cap! How do we know who are the bad guys?" Sam asked as they ran.

 

"By dodging their bullets," Carol replied before jumping off the edge of the bay and landed on the third ship while Sam flew away in direction of the second one.

 

Barely landed, half a dozen agents in Strike team's gears started shooting at Carol, their bullets melting on her suits as she used her powers to protect herself. She was still not allowed to do that, but she figured that these agents would soon die or finish their lives in prison therefore them seeing her being bulletproof was not a problem. It wasn't like she was glowing like she could do some times, the rays that hovered over her body were hardly visible.

 

Covering behind boxes of munitions, Carol bypassed this group and photon blasted one of the boxes that exploded and sent them all in the air.

 

Running in direction of the targeting system of the helicarrier, Carol heard Sam via their communication frequency, "Hey Cap! I found those bad guys you were talking about."

 

As he said that, Carol looked up and saw him in the air, dodging every attacks of the three canons aiming at him, "You okay?" she asked as he disappeared from her sight, "Not dead yet," he told her as she entered the helicarrier.

 

They had studied the plans of the new carriers since Nick had been the one ordering their construction, therefore Carol knew where she had to go. But even with this advantage, making her way there was difficult because of all the HYDRA agents inside slowing her. Carol was amazed by the numbers of corrupted people that worked at S.H.I.E.L.D, if there were as much of them in the other two helicarriers, HYDRA must have at least half of S.H.I.E.L.D's officers under their command.

 

"Falcon, status?" Maria asked from the control room.

 

Carol was almost there and she hoped it was the same for him, "Engaging," he replied, which in reality meant that he was far from the objective.

 

Carol kicked, punched and blasted her way towards her goal, stopping this whole HYDRA shit once and for all.

 

"Eight minutes, Cap," Maria told her when she entered the room where the targeting system was, "I'm in."

 

Looking around in search for the Winter Soldier, Carol walked to the control panel and changed the targeting blade, "Alpha lock," she told the other.

 

"Falcon, where are you now?"

 

"I had to take a detour," Sam yelled in the comms.

 

Time was running fast and Carol would need Sam to get to the last ship without exposing herself to the eyes of the world so him taking more time than anticipated could become a problem. But Sam was a resourceful guy, he would find a way to get in in time, Carol knew it and trusted him to do it.

 

As she got back on the tarmac of the carrier, Sam said that he was in and a few seconds later followed his success, "Bravo lock."

 

"Two down, one to go."

 

And it was not the easiest. Since Carol didn't encounter the Winter Soldier in the first helicarrier and Sam didn't seem to have seen him as well, he must be waiting for her in the third, and his mission must be the same, killing her.

 

Her stomach started to twist, she had to try and bring him to his sense, but she couldn't risk everybody's safety for it.

 

Stepping onto the runaway, Carol got immediately shot by a multitude of different rifles but all their bullets didn't reach her flesh, "Sam, I'm going to need you to get to the last one," she said as she ran towards to edge of the carrier, looking for him.

 

"But I thought you could fly."

 

Carol laughed, "Yep, but I'm not supposed to," she told him before jumping into the void as she localised him, flying in her direction.

 

Sam caught her hand, and to help him Carol used a bit of her powers to glide in the air, her body lighter than it should be.

 

They landed on the tarmac and headed to the control room, but after only a few feet they got jumped by the Winter Soldier. He pushed Carol, who almost fell off the ship before throwing a grappling iron to Sam as he had deployed his wings. The Winter Soldier pulled him down, breaking his suit before Carol could fight back. She blasted him before running in his direction and hit him with a heavy punched, but he was barely moved by it.

 

After a headbutt, he kicked Carol in the chest, and this time she was thrown off the ship but managed to catch hold of a sheet of metal and remained on the helicarrier. A few seconds later, she saw Sam falling with his broken suit but didn't worry about him, knowing he had a parachute.

 

Looking up, she saw the Winter Soldier staring at her, and he left before she could attack him again.

 

He knew where she was heading, but she couldn't not go there, they had to take control of the helicarriers and it was the only way.

 

This time, as she walked to the control room, she didn't run into any hostile agent, but she knew the reason, it was because he told them.

 

And there he was, the Winter Soldier, standing on the platform between Carol's objective and her. She still had time, five minutes was her guess, six at best, and Maria confirmed her on the former.

 

"Listen, I know you were given an order to kill me, but the real you is not a murderer."

 

He didn't move, didn't answer. The Winter Soldier just stood there, his chest rising up as he breathed and his eyes glaring daggers.

 

He didn't seem aggressive, therefore Carol decided to try and talk him down, "Your name is James Buchanan Barnes, you were born the 10th of March 1917 in Shelbyville, India-"

 

Carol was stopped by a bullet ripping the fabric of her suit and scratching the skin her shoulder. She looked down at the small drops of blood that run down the wound and back at him, still aiming at her.

 

It became clear that he wasn't there to talk, but only to accomplish his mission and therefore kill her. Since he seemed to like his gun, Carol turned into her binary form to protect herself from the bullets he shot at her while walking towards him to fight in hand to hand combat.

 

"You were born in Shelbyville, Indiana and quickly moved to Brooklyn," Carol panted as they fought, blocking each other's strikes in a more keenly contested fight than the one they had in the middle of Washington's streets, "Your mother's name was Winniefred and your father's Georges. They die in 1935, your mother before you got into the military and then your dad in a car accident-"

 

"Shut up!" he shouted as he hit a powerful left hook in her jaw, throwing her flat on her back besides the control panel were she had to change the blade.

 

Carol sat up and took a second to catch her breath, Maria reminding her of the time she had left, "Three minutes, Cap."

 

She could do this.

 

With a grunt, Carol got back on her feet and waited for him to come to her and started to recite what she read in Rogers' file again, "You have a little sister, her name is Rebecca, and she is still alive."

 

"STOP!" he screamed and groaned at every punches he threw, only a couple of them reaching their target, but when they did, they hurt.

 

Carol wasn't using all her strength on him, afraid that she would kill him by mistake, but by doing this she exposed herself to more pain when she didn't block his attack, or when he discreetly took a knife and stabbed her in the leg.

 

He had noticed that she was not glowing anymore, that she stopped using her powers to protect herself from his bullets because he was not using his guns. He outsmarted her and while she realised that, he pulled his knife out of her quadriceps and stabbed her in her midsection, almost exactly where he shot Natasha in Iran.

 

Carol clenched her jaw to contain the pain inside her but a gasp escape her mouth when he pulled it out. She was bleeding, a lot, she could feel it but had to ignore it and fight him, to talk to him and bring him back to reason.

 

Still close to the control panel, Carol decided to take care of the main issue that were the helicarriers that would still be operational to kill millions of people. With no remorse, Carol rose her fist and blasted him away to give herself time. She entered the code to unlock the panel, took HYDRA's targeting blade out and plugged hers in.

 

"Charlie lock," Carol breathed but instantly had to get back into the fight as the Winter Soldier rushed in her direction.

 

"I've got the control, now get out of there, Cap."

 

He tackled Carol down onto the platform, his shoulder hitting her hard in her wound. She grunted as the landed and the noise that come out of her mouth then sounded like she was the Hulk. With a roar, she pushed him off of her and off the platform before she rolled on her belly, quickly breathing as she gave her order to Maria, "Fire now… I'll be fine."

 

"Carol-"

 

"Fire!"

 

Maria must have been quick, because it felt to Carol like missiles hit the helicarrier before she had the time to finish her word, or maybe the blood loss was more important than she thought. Either way, she still had a personal mission and she was not going to fail.

 

As the ship started to tremble as the three helicarriers fired at one another, Carol struggled to move from the platform to the glass dome on which the Winter Soldier was, whimpering as he struggled to get back on his feet after his fall. She joined him, stumbled on her own feet as she walked until she was close to him.

 

"Your best friend's name was Steven Grant Rogers, you considered him like a brother and always made sure he was okay," she panted as she put pressure on her wound with her right hand, "you followed him after he became Captain America and you were even ready to die to protect him, I get that, I'd do it too."

 

"Shut up!" Barnes screamed, and Carol could swear she saw tears in his blue eyes.

 

He got back up and jumped onto her, landing on top of her as he tried to strangle her. Carol fought back, painting his face with her blue blood as she pushed him away but she wasn't strong enough anymore. If she wanted to survive, she had to kill him, because talking him down didn't work.

 

With her last resources, Carol blasted the glass underneath her and they both fell off the helicarrier. They kept struggling in the air, the Winter Soldier not letting go of her as he pulled her hair and her left arm. Somehow, Carol managed to make them rotate just before they dove into the water, Barnes' back hitting the liquid as if it was marble. He didn't lose his grip though and pulled Carol with him at the bottom of the water.

 

Carol's suit had a mask to make her breathe in water, but when she tried to put it on, it didn't work. They were going deep in the water and the oxygen started to lack, her throat was on fire and her vision was getting blurry. Looking up, she could barely see the light of the sun, and the only thing she could think about was that she would die without having told Natasha that she was in love with her.

 

The image of the redhead appeared in her brain, and she closed her eyes as she thought about her as she attempted one last move. With her fist slightly clenched, she fired a blast and hoped it would get them out of the water, but she wasn't conscious to find out if it did.

 


 

Natasha looked at S.H.I.E.L.D's building collapsing, dumbstruck as an helicarrier collided it. Maybe Carol was in this one, she didn't know, didn't heard of her at all since they left the dam and it terrified her that she ordered to fire before she was out and safe.

 

Carol could be hurt, because of course she tried to talk to the Winter Soldier, like she planned, but maybe it didn't go well. She couldn't die, not now, not before Natasha told her she loved her, not before she kissed her lips, for real this time. They had so much first to have together, so many things they hadn't done yet and that Natasha dreamt to do when they would finally be girlfriends, officially.

 

She had to be close, Natasha felt it, but she couldn't see any trace of the blonde, "Maria, anything on Carol's location?" she asked desperately as Nick flew them away to land somewhere safe.

 

"Nothing yet, I'm running a scan for her energy signature."

 

"Natasha!" shouted Sam as he pointed towards the water, "There!"

 

It was her, Carol flying out of the water with the Winter Soldier holding onto her. Natasha gasped, feeling tears at the edge of her eyes, "Nick, we can't let her alone there, we have to get to her," she said with a pleading voice, but he was already changing the trajectory before she could continue.

 

"Hill, we have her, now get the hell out of there," Nick told his right hand woman.

 

Ten minutes later, Natasha got out of the helicopter before they were even on the ground and run towards Carol's last known location, by the side of the water.

 

She called her, shouted her name in case the woman was looking for them too. After running for two minutes, she saw her unanimated body on the shingle and rushed to her side.

 

"Carol, please…" she muttered as she put her finger on her carotid and gasped when she felt a weak pulse. Sniffling, Natasha sat beside the blonde and pulled her head onto her lap as she slowly stroked her hair, "You're gonna be okay," she told her, knowing that Sam would soon be there with a med kit.

 

Mindlessly, she put her free hand on Carol's wound on her belly, noticing that it was exactly where she had been shot by the Winter Solider in Iran.

 

"Did you see him?" Sam asked as he bent down and took some band aid out of the med kit.

 

Natasha could only shake her head, seeing Carol like this made her heart ache so much that she knew she would throw up if she talked.

 

"We need to get her to a hospital, stat!"

 

Natasha nodded before slowly pulling Carol's body against her own. As if she hadn't been shot the day before, Natasha got on her feet and carried the blonde in her arms, bridal style, adrenaline making her forget that her shoulder was still hurting like hell.

 

They were barely in the helicopter that Nick was taking off to the hospital he had been treated a few days ago.

 

During the whole flight, Natasha didn't take her eyes off of Carol, gently stroking her cheek and whispering a few words to her ear as she kissed her cheek from time to time. Meanwhile, Sam was making sure that Carol would be fine, putting pressure on her wounds the whole time even after the bleedings slowed.

 

When they landed on the roof of the hospital, a team of surgeon took Carol down to the OR, leaving Natasha and Sam alone as only Nick was allowed to watch.

 

Natasha stood on the roof, staring at the closed door of the elevator and realised that everything they did would have consequences, and that she would have to pay for some of them. She wanted to stay and wait for Carol to wake up, but she couldn't wait too long before answering for her past actions and left without saying anything to Sam, knowing the man would stay and be there for Carol.

 


 

There was a buzzing in Carol's ears like she never experienced before, yet she had had her loads of fights where she ended up in bad shape. Then she felt a sharp pain in her belly, but that must be the knife the Winter Soldier put in her body, she figured.

 

As her hearing started to get better, Carol listened closely to the few sounds that reached her eardrums, frowning until she recognised something, Natasha's voice. It didn't sound like the usual, thus Carol opened her aching eyes to find out what was happening.

 

The first thing she saw was a vague dark stain, but as she blinked it appeared to be a TV screen, and on it was the one person she wished was by her side at that moment, Natasha.

 

"Why haven't we yet heard from Captain Danvers?" a man with several honour medals on his military uniform asked her.

 

Natasha clicked her tongue, "I think the wreck in the middle of the Potomac made her point fairly eloquently, and I'm not even sure she'd be in a state to answer you right now. "

 

"Well then, could you explain how this country is expected to maintain its national security now that you both have laid waste to our intelligence apparatus."

 

Carol could tell that Natasha was genuinely annoyed by his question but she was a professional and answered anyway, "HYDRA was selling you lies, not intelligence."

 

"Many of which you seemed to have had a personal hand in telling."

 

"Agent," interrupted another man, "you should know that there are some on this committee who feel, given your service record, both for this country and against it, that you belong in a penitentiary, not mouthing off on Capitol Hill."

 

This man really didn't know who he was talking to and was not ready for what was coming. And considering the micro expressions Carol saw on Natasha's face, her answer was going to be iconic.

 

"You're not going to put me in a prison. You're not going to put any of us in a prison. You know why?"

 

"Do enlighten us."

 

"Because you need us. Yes, the world is a vulnerable place, and yes, we help make it that way. But we're also the ones best qualified to defend it. So, if you want to arrest me, arrest me. You'll know where to find me."

 

After one last look at all the people around the table, Natasha left, and Carol couldn't keep her comment for herself as she watched her walk away, "That's my girl," she whispered, her throat tight like a knot.

 

Then she heard a chuckle on her right and slightly tilted her head to see Sam standing beside her, "Oh! So she is your girl now?"

 

"She always has been, we just hadn't kissed yet."

 

He crossed his arms as he smiled from hear to hear, "You kissed and I'm not aware of it?"

 

"It was in the mall, when we were trying to escape HYDRA."

 

"It's not a real kiss then."

 

Carol chuckled, sort of agreeing with him, "Yeah but I will change that, I'm not leaving until my lips touch hers."

 

Suddenly, Sam's joy disappeared from his face and was replaced by confusion, "Leaving? Where?"

 

Carol took a deep breath and exhaled heavily before answering, "I want to go after James Barnes. I want to find him and bring him back to reason."

 

"Is that even possible?"

 

Carol blinked and it was like she was back on the helicarrier, fighting the Winter Soldier. After a dozen of seconds, she shook her head and looked back at Sam, "When we fought…" she began in a murmur, "I told him things about his life and it definitely triggered something in him. I think he remembered his old life."

 

"Do you have any lead?"

 

"Not yet but I'm sure Natasha has enough contacts to find me somewhere to start."

 

"Then I guess we are going after the Winter Soldier!"

 

"We?" Carol exclaimed.

 

"After this I'm not letting you go alone and I'm pretty sure Natasha will want to come too," he said with a smirk, yet Carol knew he was wrong, "I'm not taking her, she has already a lot to do with the government after her, it's not the moment for her to run away."

 

"You call the shots, Captain," Sam concluded and sat back on the armchair he must have been on in the last hours, maybe days, "One thing I know though is that she wants you to get better, and for that you have to reset."

 

Carol didn't need to be told to rest to actually do it, her eyelids were so heavy that she was fighting with herself to keep them open and since she wasn't going to see Natasha any time soon, she only had one thing to do and that was sleeping.

 


 

After hours of running all over the city, answering to interviews, government questioning and signing confidentiality contracts that were not even useful, Natasha found a half hour free of any obligations in her schedule. She was in need of a shower, a real meal and a long nap but the only thing that really mattered to her at that moment was to see Carol.

 

Sam was at the hospital with her most of the time, and when he had to leave, Maria took his place and kept an eye on her. They sent the redhead updates about Carol's state, she knew she had waken up and that she was okay, she was aware of every thing she ate and even knew what curse word she used when she first tried the hospital's food.

 

Walking fast in the corridors of the hospital, Natasha entered the room she knew was Carol's without knocking and her sight fell on the sleeping blonde.

 

Barely acknowledging Sam's presence, Natasha sat on the edge of the mattress, giving the blonde's hand a light squeeze as she leaned forward to kiss her forehead. Her lips brushed her skin and in the blink of an eye she was back in a correct sitting position, but nothing ever felt more right than this short touch, "That was what I meant by don't put yourself in danger, Danvers," she muttered as she analysed the state of fatigue too easy to spot on Carol's face.

 

"She was very proud of you telling the government people to go fuck themselves," Sam began with a smirk.

 

Natasha scoffed, "Of course she was," she said quietly, her gaze analysing Carol's bruised face as her careful fingers traced her features.

 

"She wants to go after him."

 

Natasha clenched her jaw, her smile slowly turning into a saddened pout, "Of course she does."

 

"And she said you could get us leads."

 

Natasha sighed sharply, trying so hard not to think about Carol leaving her again, "I'll see what I can do but I'm really not thrilled about this," she admitted, finally giving Sam a glance.

 

"I know, that's why I'm going with her."

 

"Thank you," she told him with a forced smile.

 

"That's what friends are for."

 

Natasha seemed almost surprised that Sam would consider them friends, and then she supposed he was talking about Carol. Either way, she was very grateful that he would put a pause on his own life to go with Carol on a man hunt that would probably lead nowhere.

 

She took one more minute to contemplate Carol's tired yet gorgeous face before standing up and calling Sam for a short discussion with a nod, "Nick wants to meet up, as soon as she's back on her feet," she told him as she walked to the door, putting her hand on the handle.

 

Sam looked down and rose an eyebrow, "You are not staying?"

 

Natasha sighed, glancing at Carol, "Trust me, I wish I could stare at her sleepy face for the rest of my life but I have so many people on my back, trying to drag me down that I have to deal with it now or it will get ugly, and not only for me."

 

"Right, I'll tell her you came."

 

"Tell her she's cute when she's asleep," Natasha joked, but knowing Sam, Carol would hear of it.

 

 

 

Because things couldn't get any more strange and abnormal, Nick asked Carol, Sam and Natasha to meet him at his grave, in the Washington cemetery were he was supposed to be buried.

 

And as usual Natasha was there first, being late wasn't something she liked plus she wanted to have a moment with Nick to discuss about a sensible matter.

 

"Already there, Romanoff!" Nick said from behind her to get her attention.

 

She turned around, discovering Nick with a brand new style, his eye patch gone, replaced by sun glasses, "I just wanted to be sure that everything you kept on me and my past has been destroyed."

 

"It has been."

 

Natasha sighed with relief, "Good."

 

"Telling her the truth anytime soon?"

 

"I feel like she already knows, or at least she has doubts."

 

Passing by her, Nick patted Natasha's shoulder, "Tell her, sooner than later, she doesn't like secrets."

 

Natasha couldn't fight the urge to chuckle, "Yeah, you would know that, right?"

 

"It's something important, and from what I've heard you finally made a move so you have no reason to keep it for yourself. You met the person that makes you happy, with whom you can share life experience, not everybody does so just take it and enjoy it."

 

"Do you really think Carol and I can live that long without getting killed?" Natasha joked.

 

"We don't really know how long you guys can live, but I'm pretty sure you will do anything in your power to keep her safe, and vice versa."

 

Natasha released a long sigh, thinking about how she could broach the subject with the blonde, "Well, I don't think I can tell her now, I heard she has some plans and has to leave," she looked up at Nick and recognised his half warning half worried glare, "but the second she is back we'll talk, we have to anyway."

 

"Good. I knew you two would get along."

 

"Yep! That we did."

 

"Did what?" interrupted Carol from behind them.

 

"Um… K-kick… some ass," Natasha stuttered as she scratched her skull, her gaze unable to meet Carol's, "I mean it was you guys mainly but I did my part too."

 

"Yeah, you did great," Carol said quietly as pulled Natasha against her side and kissed her forehead.

 

Natasha closed her eyes as the contact between them lingered. After these crazy days, she only had one wish, and it was to see Carol again, to hug her, to just be with her, and she finally was. It seemed like Carol had missed her too, considering how she kissed her, so much love and longing in one single touch.

 

Their moment didn't last long and was cut short by Nick intentionally coughing before he spoke up, "Now that Pierce is dead, every HYDRA agents that haven't been arrested are on the run. I'm planning on stopping them and I was wondering if one of you would join?"

 

Carol gave a look at Sam, before glancing at Natasha who took the floor, "Well, you are not my boss anymore, Nick, so I'm going to respectfully decline. There are things I want to do here before going back after them."

 

At these words, Carol bit her bottom lip as she tried to hide her proud grin but Natasha noticed it. Then, she observed Nick as he gazed at Sam and her, but neither one of them gave him a positive answer.

 

They were going after James Barnes, Sam told Natasha when she visited Carol – the blonde was deeply asleep at the time and she couldn't stay long enough to see her awake. They were going after a ghost and they weren't telling Nick, knowing that he wouldn't like it, HYDRA being his one and only priority.

 

Natasha wasn't thrilled about it either, she'd rather have Carol with her for the next few months to help with all the personal issues she had to deal with but she couldn't ask her to stay, not when she knew that James Barnes was still there, deep down in the Winter Soldier's brain. Only a few people could understand how it felt to be unmade and remade and unmade again and finally realising it. Carol and Natasha were two of these people and they could not pretend that he was just a mass murderer, a deadly assassin. James Barnes had been controlled by HYDRA for far too long and now he was in the wind, maybe still in their hands, or maybe he escaped, but either way Carol chose to go after him and save him, and Natasha understood her choice and supported it.

 

"Right, well… I guess I'm on my own then."

 

Carol scoffed, "Let's be honest, Nick, you chose to be on your own a long time ago."

 

"I can't say you are wrong, but I still took care of things for you and you didn't noticed…" he said mysteriously, Carol suddenly straightening her posture to listen attentively, "I suppose you didn't have time to go through everything that we leaked about S.H.I.E.L.D, but even if you had you wouldn't have found anything about you."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Back when we met, I knew you'd be the most important asset S.H.I.E.L.D would have, but not everybody could be trusted, so I never registered you in the data base."

 

Natasha tilted her head, not aware of what Nick was talking about, and considering the way Carol was frowning, she didn't either, "So this cover, the Captain Danvers thing, it's not out?"

 

"Nope,for our world you are nobody, except the woman in New York that saved a lot of people."

 

This changed everything, if her cover as Captain Danvers never existed, if there was no proof of this identity being linked to Carol, she could actually be anybody, and therefore she didn't have to hide her powers anymore.

 

"So I think it's time for you to lighten up, Captain! Be the Kree that all the galaxy think you are, fly around and shoot bad guys, there's nobody to stop you now."

 

Natasha expected Carol to be overjoyed by the news, to jump all over the place and schedule a race against Sam but she took it very seriously, "I mean, I rather not have to use my powers anytime soon but it's good to know that I can finally be me."

 

"And, before I go," Nick said as he took something that he had put behind his grave, "I kept this from S.H.I.E.L.D, thought it was safer to have it in my possession in case somebody tried to steal it," he added and gave Carol the shield that had been left with Captain America's body, his shield, "I think it can still be a great symbol for the nation, and my last mission for you is to find someone that would fit the description of Captain America."

 

Natasha already had an idea of who could be perfect for this title, and when she saw Carol's smirk she knew she thought the same thing, "I might know a guy," she began as she handed the shield to Sam, "but I'm not sure he'll say yes."

 

"Then convince him," Nick told her before shaking Sam's hand. He continued with a quick hug with Natasha before it was Carol's turn, "I trust you for this," he said and pulled her in a tight embrace.

 

Natasha couldn't stop herself from smiling as she watched the scene, it was a really beautiful moment to see Nick finally trusting Carol again. It was not an apology for everything that he did, but it was not his style and Carol, just like Natasha, didn't expect one from him.

 

"All right then… anybody ask for me, tell 'em they can find me right here," Nick concluded the conversation looking at his grave one last time before he walked away, Natasha observing his self-assured paces until he disappeared behind a tree.

 

The three of them remained silent for a bit, Natasha enjoying the soft touch of Carol in her back while Sam was analysing Captain America's shield from every angle.

 

Knowing that it was time, Natasha gave Carol's cheek a peck before speaking up, "I've got this for you from Kiev," she said as she handed a file to Carol, "I don't know if it will lead anywhere but it's a start."

 

"Thank you."

 

Natasha smiled before glancing at Sam, "Can you give us a minute?"

 

"Of course," Sam smirked as he nodded and took the file off of Carol's hand before walking away.

 

When he was far enough for her, Natasha took a step forward, her hands slowly reaching Carol's still bruised cheeks as she tiptoed to capture her lips. Feeling a light gasp against her mouth, Natasha smiled into the kiss, amused that Carol didn't see it coming after all that happened in the past week. Stroking her thumbs on Carol's sensitive skin, Natasha savoured the feeling of the taller woman's lips on hers, passionate but gentle, her hands that had slipped under Natasha's jacket nicely pulling her against her warm body.

 

It wasn't like their kiss at the mall, this one was real, meant to express all the things Natasha felt for Carol. Back then she kissed her shyly, because she didn't want to give out all that she felt, but Carol got it anyway, she knew the moment Natasha's lips touched hers that behind this escape strategy was a whole lot of feelings that Natasha had never dealt with before.

 

It was magical, perfect, surreal. Like a moment in your life where every single thing feels right, Natasha knew at that instant that this was what their relationship was supposed to be, a relationship based on their trust in each other and their feelings that were so strong, so powerful that nothing would ever separate them.

 

The world around them long forgotten, Natasha decreased the minuscule gap that remained between them, wrapping her arms around Carol's neck as she pulled away and pressed their foreheads together, "You come back to me, huh?" she whispered as she stared at the blonde, who's eyes were still closed.

 

Carol slightly nodded in response, nuzzling Natasha's nose as she did, "Always," she eventually replied and opened her eyes, their light hazelnut shade shining in the rays of the sun, "and you stay safe."

 

"Mmh-mm."

 

"Great," Carol said against Natasha's lips before kissing them again, a soft peck that felt like feather's touch, "I don't wanna leave anymore," she added in a giggle, her childish grin softening Natasha's heart.

 

"Go get this done and then we will have all the time we want, okay?"

 

The blonde nodded before tightening her hold, pulling Natasha into a loving hug, "I'm gonna miss you."

 

"Me too," Natasha choked, the reality of what the next few months were going to be hitting her like a train.

 

It had been so long since the last time Natasha spent more than a couple of weeks without Carol or any news of her, but for this mission she wouldn't be able to keep in touch and that was what Natasha dreaded, the absence of the blonde.

 

The Natasha that joined S.H.I.E.L.D would never have thought that, this Natasha never cared about people, never needed people, or maybe she just didn't know she needed them. Natasha had changed, she couldn't deny it, and somehow this change didn't scare her, only what it brought and what it could take back terrified her to her bones.

 

Carol and her life were intertwined now, so much that Natasha didn't know if she still had her own life anymore, but the thought of sharing it everyday was as appealing as the blonde herself, magnetic.

 

With her face tucked in the hollow of Carol's neck, her hands gripped at her jacket, Natasha took in the last moment she had with the blonde before she would leave, inhaling her overwhelming scent as if it was her oxygen.

 

Slowly, Carol stepped out of the embrace, Natasha discreetly whining as the comfortable arms that were holding her slid down her back until they didn't touch her anymore. Not ready for the goodbyes, Natasha stepped forward and rested the side of her head on Carol's chest as her hands found hers. After a gentle squeeze, Carol freed one of her hand to lift Natasha's chin, her watering emerald eyes meeting the perfect brown gaze.

 

"I have to go," Carol whispered before kissing Natasha's forehead.

 

The redhead closed her eyes again, knowing that after that Carol would leave and she'd be alone in a mess that she didn't know how to clean.

 

Carol didn't know because she hadn't been to her apartment since Nick got shot there, but HYDRA had searched it, from top to bottom, and probably at taken some of her belongings. But worst than that, just as Nick told them earlier, they weren't all gone, a big part of Strike team had run away, HYDRA was still the main suspect for the theft of Loki's sceptre and Captain America's profanation. HYDRA was far from being dismantled and Natasha would have to take care of the issue, as well as creating herself a new cover since all her fake identities had been exposed.

 

She had to start doing this on her own but hoped Carol would quickly come back to help her out, because that was what they were to each other, a mental support, the reason they were still standing, the person they were fighting for during every battle.

 

Natasha was so lost in the sensation of Carol's lips on her skin that she almost didn't notice when she pulled away, the link of their hands breaking as she took a step back.

 

Releasing a long sigh, Natasha watched Carol and Sam as they walked away together, already missing the blonde like she used to miss her freedom in the Red Room.

 


 

Nothing in Carol's life had been harder than this moment, when she had to go, to leave Natasha alone.

 

It was her decision, to go after James Barnes, and therefore her choice to leave the redhead, but she stood by it, because this man deserved a life just like Carol's had been given back to her once.

 

But, damn, it was so hard, especially after this week. There had been lies, distrust and trust again, a kiss that wasn't supposed to mean anything, but actually was it all. Maybe the moment wasn't the best, it was even the worst you could think of, but in hindsight, the whole situation was just the little nudge they both needed to get their heads out of their asses and finally take this last step.

 

Being with Natasha was where Carol was meant to be, kissing her what she was supposed to do everyday, and she would make up for these missed kisses when she'd be back, but right now she had to go, she had to take a step back and break the contact between them.

 

Never a step felt so heavy, but when she took it, feeling of emptiness on her lips and the lack of something in her hands, she knew that she couldn't go back for one more second or she would never leave.

 

She waited and waited, taking small steps back until the redhead finally looked at her, and when she did, Carol gave her one last smile and turned around, this image engraved in her mind for the next few weeks at least, an image of Natasha showing her happiness, even through the sadness of the moment.

 

Sam joined her and walked beside her, a smirk on his lips, "Don't even start," Carol warned him with an aggressive finger pointed at him.

 

"I didn't say shit," he replied with a laughter, "but I'm happy for you, Carol."

 

Thanking him was tempting, but the thought of Natasha a few metres away twisted her throat, stopping the words before she could say them.

 

Carol walked in direction of Sam's car and didn't look back, as much as she wanted to have one more glimpse of the redhead, the woman she loved. She kept her gaze straight, towards her goal and focused on her mission, finding James Barnes and giving him a future that had been stolen from him.

Chapter 20: Back home

Notes:

Thanks everybody for the 200 kudos <3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Life after S.H.I.E.L.D collapsed was hard, and life without Carol was even worse. Natasha missed her so much, she missed her melodious voice, her light brown eyes, her soft kisses on her forehead and her hugs, damn, she missed to be in Carol's arms so much.

 

The things with the government calmed down after a couple of weeks, as she had said, they weren't going to put her in prison because they needed her, she was an Avenger and would have the protection of Tony if they ever tried to do anything against her. He had quickly reached out to her and told her he had an army of lawyers ready, as well as a bunch of bedrooms in the Avengers tower that needed to be filled with people.

 

Natasha had to consider it, and to discuss the matter with Carol, but going to live in New York was appealing, and being around Tony and Pepper would be nice.

 

Now that all her aliases were out, Natasha couldn't live in her apartment in Washington DC and had temporarily moved in Clint's spare room. The little belongings she had was stored there too, as well as Carol's. Natasha went to her place after she left to take care of the mess that HYDRA caused. After a long inspection, it seemed that they didn't find anything interesting, or maybe they didn't searched correctly enough. Natasha had found things that they didn't, which made her question their capacities and training as field agents, but the lack of it was actually a good thing in their case.

 

Still in need of a new alias, Natasha figured she could just be herself for a bit, especially now that everybody on Earth knew that she was Black Widow. She never liked that nickname, it reminded her of all the little girls that died, some of them that she killed, in order to survive and become that person. Worse than that, it gave her flashes of her past, of the days she spent training, the nights where she was chained to her bed so she wouldn't try to escape. These were what she feared the most, the motionless nights, the paralysis that some times happened in her sleep, that hadn't happen recently, but might come back given the news.

 

The Captain America case, it wasn't HYDRA's doing. Natasha found out three weeks after Carol left, Maria told her. Since she was unemployed, Maria quickly applied for many job and, not that surprisingly, Tony was the one who hired her. With all his equipment, she did researches, dissected every single questioning report of the HYDRA agents that had been arrested and figured out that they weren't behind the profanation of his body.

 

The problem was that they still had no clue of who it could be, thus the hypothesis of the Red Room being behind it came back. Maria told Natasha not to worry about it, that it was her first priority and that she, as well as Tony, would look into it until they found who did it. Natasha was grateful that they were trying to reassure her, but she could feel it in her, it was them, they were still there.

 

She wished even more that Carol was there, she needed to talk to her about it, she needed to hear the blonde telling her that everything would be okay, that they would go through it together. But she was away, somewhere in eastern Europe and Natasha didn't get any news in two months.

 

Deep down, she was terrified that something would happen to the blonde, that she would get in trouble like she always did and that she would get hurt. The only thing that made Natasha a tiny bit less worried was knowing that Sam was with her, he was an experienced soldier and he cared about Carol enough to look out for her and have her back.

 

When everything Natasha had to take care of was done, she didn't know what to do and stayed at Clint's all day, hung out with him, Laura and the kids and just enjoyed the time she had with them.

 

But at night, she would struggle to fall asleep as her mind was full of memories of herself and Carol, like the moment they had on the swing seat at Maria Rambeau's house, or in this very house when Carol surprised Natasha on Christmas day. She couldn't stop herself from redoing these moments in her head and realised that they were so close to kiss so many times, but every time, neither one of them dared to make the first move and the feelings remained unspoken.

 

They were still unspoken, in a way, even though they kissed. Natasha didn't know if she would ever be able to say it out loud one day, but she was certain that she loved Carol unconditionally and that she wanted to spend every day of her life with her.

 

That day would arrive, but when she didn't know. To make sure she wouldn't miss Carol's come back, Natasha asked the concierge of hers and Carol's building to call her of they ever saw her around, and was going to check the now uninhabited places from time to time.

 

Three months after the blonde's departure, Natasha got a call from the concierge of her building, an old man she always appreciated and respected, who told her a tall blonde woman that fitted Carol's description asked for her before going to her former apartment.

 

Natasha didn't lose a minutes and borrowed Clint's car to join Carol at her place.

 

She quickly greeted the concierge before rushing to the third floor, where her apartment was. As she walked down the corridor, she slowed her pace and found the door ajar, no noise coming from the inside. Carefully, she pushed the door and finally saw her.

 

"Carol!"

 


 

Going after the Winter Soldier had been a huge waste of time.

 

The file Natasha gave them was promising, they followed various leads in the first few weeks, but as all of them ended up being dead ends, Carol and Sam quickly lost their motivation, and after almost three months and one last unproductive research, they both agreed that it was better for them to give up.

 

The flight back had been hard on Carol's mindset, she felt like she lost, like she failed at a mission and that someone was going to suffer because of her.

 

But, coming back meant seeing Natasha again, and that was what she really needed. The redhead was her first thought every morning when she woke up and her last every time she fell asleep. Natasha was her motivation, Carol couldn't come back empty handed, she had to find something, anything that would prove she had been right to leave Natasha on her own, but they didn't and she had nothing that would make Natasha proud.

 

When they landed, Carol didn't hesitate and went straight to Natasha's place. She didn't even tell Sam, but she figured he would understand and just called a taxi to drive her to Natasha's apartment. She entered the building at a quick pace and asked the concierge if Natasha was there or not, he told her she wasn't.

 

It was not a problem, Carol thought, she would just go upstairs and wait for the redhead to come back, no need to be impatient.

 

Reaching her door, Carol sat down onto the mat and leaned against the door. She lost her balance and hit her head against the wooden floor as her weight on the door opened it. With a grunt, Carol got back on her feet and, intrigued, entered the apartment as she rubbed her aching skull.

 

It was almost empty, only a few furniture remained and they were covered in sheets, as if Natasha had moved out. Carol stood in the middle of the room, confused, and tried to figure out what might have happened.

 

Before she could start thinking, she was interrupted by a voice she knew perfectly and loved with her all heart.

 

"Carol!" Natasha said from behind her with relief in her voice.

 

Barely turned over, Natasha was already in her arms, her hands gripped at her jacket and her face tucked in the crook of her neck.

 

"What are you doing here?"

 

"I wanted to surprise you," Carol replied as she hugged Natasha, pulling her closer than ever.

 

Carol heard an amused gasp coming from Natasha before she held her tighter, the tip of her nose nuzzling Carol's neck. Closing her eyes, Carol took a long inhalation, the scent of Natasha's hair overwhelming her. She had missed it so much, she had missed everything about Natasha and now she was there, in her arms, she was hers.

 

The redhead didn't seem to want to let go of Carol, her hands were firmly attached to her clothes and even the tiniest motion was held back by her strong arms.

 

"Let me see you," Carol eventually demanded, her hands sliding down Natasha's back and stopped on her waist.

 

Natasha pulled out of the hug after a few more seconds and when her eyes met Carol's, the blonde felt like she was finally home, where she was meant to be.

 

"Hey," Natasha whispered, stroking Carol's cheeks with her thumbs.

 

"Hey," Carol said back with a smile, her eyes analysing Natasha's features, "you're so beautiful," she told her as she brought her hand up to Natasha's face and delicately traced the line of her jaw with the back of her pointing finger, gently lifting her chin at the right angle to press her lips against Natasha's.

 

Their lips barely touched, but the little contact was still magical. When Carol pulled away, she was pulled back by Natasha who crashed her her lips on hers for a more passionate kiss. Carol kissed back with eager, wrapping her arms around Natasha to press their bodies together, their closeness never being enough. Natasha was all over her, her soft hands on her cheeks and in the back of her neck, stroking her skin, her warm chest against Carol's, her lips slowly sending her to Heaven.

 

Only after a long minute, Natasha pulled away, leaning back in for a peck before she pressed her forehead against Carol's, "How did it go?" Natasha asked with her usual husky cracked voice.

 

Carol sighed and Natasha responded with a gentle nudge, "We've got nothing… every lead we followed were dead ends. If I had known I would have stayed with you."

 

"We both know that if you'd stayed you'd be full of remorse and mad at yourself. At least you tried, Carol."

 

"I still want to find him," Carol admitted, finally opening her eyes to find Natasha staring at her, "I could see back there that he knew I was talking about him… but he couldn't remember it, like-"

 

"You when you came back on Earth, me when I realised I never was a ballerina?" Natasha wondered.

 

"Exactly… he should have a life, just like we do. He deserves it despite everything he's done."

 

"You are right," Natasha agreed, "and we will look for him, I promise."

 

Carol thanked Natasha for understanding with a kiss on her forehead before pulling away to look around at the apartment, "What happened here?"

 

"Long story short, I can't live here anymore because my covers are blown. My things are at Clint's as well as yours, because your apartment isn't S.H.I.E.L.D's property anymore."

 

"So basically, we are both homeless."

 

"Yep! But Tony wants us to move to the tower and I was waiting for your return to make a decision."

 

"New York, huh! Sounds fun!" Carol said before realising what it would mean, "Wait! Would you be fine to be around him everyday?"

 

Natasha looked away as she took her time to think, mindlessly tracing circles on Carol's neck, "I can manage, and you won't be far so it should be okay."

 

Carol found Natasha's turn of phrase weird and needed confirmation, "Why does it sound like you don't want us to live in the same room there?"

 

"Because I don't want them to know for now. I want this to be just an us thing."

 

"Maria, Nick and Sam already know."

 

"Which Maria?" Natasha asked with a laughter.

 

"Both!"

 

"Right, well… I know Tony and I know Clint even better; if we tell them now they will be the worst. I really want to enjoy this for a while longer before we decide to tell them."

 

Carol didn't like secrets, and especially when she had to keep them, but Natasha was right, Tony and Clint would be awful to them 24/7, joking and teasing them and asking uncomfortable questions, "Okay."

 

"Thank you," Natasha whispered before leaning in for a quick kiss, "can we sit for a minute?" she then asked and nodded at the couch that was covered with a dirty white cloth.

 

Carol nodded and let Natasha lead her to the couch, the later pulling her by her hand as she sat down and waited for the blonde to do the same. Carol took one more step and sat on Natasha's right, wrapping her arm around her shoulders to pull her closer, "Hey, I wanted to ask you something."

 

Natasha moved closer, resting her head on Carol's shoulder, "Tell me."

 

"When we first met, after we captured Loki, I heard you say something in our comms and-"

 

"Love is for children," Natasha cut off, changing position to look at Carol.

 

"Yes… Now, I'm wondering what this is," Carol waved at them, "because I know what it is for me."

 

To her surprise, Natasha smiled, "I didn't know you back then," she told her with a gentle tone, "I didn't think I could feel that way for anyone."

 

"So you are saying that you were just a baby and now you've grown… now you are a child," Carol joked, her giggle making Natasha's smile even bigger.

 

"Maybe… or maybe I'm like Benjamin Button and I'm getting younger."

 

"That would be great considering that I don't age a lot."

 

"Yeah, about that…" Natasha began, and Carol's grin suddenly disappeared as she felt the shift in the conversation, "There is something I didn't tell you about me, the only thing that wasn't in my file because it was too valuable in Nick's opinion to be known by anybody."

 

Carol frowned, she didn't know where Natasha was going with this, but the way the redhead was talking intrigued her.

 

"You read in my file about the ceremony," in the Red Room, when they sterilised her, "well, for me, they added something… They had been experimenting on some of the girls in my year, but we never knew what it was, until it was just me…" Natasha swallowed, trying to hold back her emotions.

 

To support her, Carol moved closer, took her hands and brought them to her mouth for a soft kiss on each knuckle.

 

"They made their own version of the super soldier serum, and they gave it to me."

 

Carol was stunned, she didn't expect to hear that, but after a bit of reflection it made sense. Natasha was strong, extremely strong for a woman like her, and she was very resistant, she could take hits and not flinch, jump from high heights and not get hurts, it was under her nose the whole time and Carol didn't notice. And Zola, he had said something about it, he talked about them as "two out of time women" , it must mean something about Natasha's ageing.

 

"Unlike what happened to Captain America, it didn't boost everything about me, it was meant not to. They made it to create an army of super soldiers, they wanted strong, agile, unkillable people. It didn't work the way they expected for that last part, and it turns out that it's a good thing for me, because it appears I don't age like a normal human anymore."

 

"Did you do tests or something?"

 

"When I joined S.H.I.E.L.D, yes. I told Nick about it and they ran tests. They couldn't tell exactly, but my cells are unlike any human normal cells, they live longer, which means I will too… if I don't get killed first."

 

"I'm gonna make sure you don't, I promise."

 

Carefully, Carol freed one of Natasha's hands to slip a strand of her behind her ear and pulled her into a kiss, "Thank you for telling me," she said against her lips as they pulled way and then kissed the tip of her nose, "So we are in this for a long while, huh?"

 

"Well, your powers will probably keep you alive longer than mine, but yeah, this is gonna be a long ride."

 

"To be honest, I'm not sure I understand every aspect of my powers anymore. I mean, before that day, I had never done that protecting bubble, I didn't know I could use so much energy at the same time to protect both myself and you."

 

Natasha seemed confuse, "But I thought the energy was within you and that you controlled it," she asked, putting her hand on Carol's chest, the gesture warming up Carol to her heart.

 

"It is, that's why I don't understand this power. I shouldn't have be exhausted like this because I used my power."

 

"Maybe it was a one time thing. We were in danger, you wanted to protect me and you did this thing because it was the only way we could survive," It was a very beautiful way to think about how Carol's powers worked, but the blonde knew it didn't work with feelings, otherwise she would be overpowered all the time, to protect anybody. But, when she thought about it, Carol realised she completely overcame her exhaustion when she saw Natasha bleeding out in Strike's van, "Yeah but when I saw you were injured it was like I suddenly gained all the energy that was out of me in a second, it doesn't make any sense. Why would I be able to do that for you but not for anybody else."

 

"We'll figure it out, Carol," Natasha assured, her hand slowly reaching Carol's cheek.

 

Now that Carol was on the subject, she needed to figure it out and continued, "And it can't be a one time thing, that's not how it works. If we ever are in the same situation I should be able to redo it."

 

"Yeah."

 

"Do you think I can?" Carol genuinely asked, hoping Natasha would believe in her enough to trust her with her life.

 

"I don't know, Captain, you tell me," the redhead replied with a smirk before pulling Carol towards her, crashing their lips together.

 

This could be an expression of trust, but Carol didn't care anymore, she was too busy kissing the most incredible woman of the world, the cutest girl she had ever seen, her girl.

 

Natasha eventually pulled away with a soft smile on her lips, "You know, I'm glad that you didn't try and undress me the second you saw me."

 

"Why?" Asked Carol, surprised by such a comment.

 

"Well, I don't think sex has ever been my thing… because of several reasons… " Natasha said weakly, and Carol finally remembered, how did she even forget this.

 

Natasha had been taught that sex was a way to get informations out of people, and she was forced to use it that way. They did even worse to her when she was still an innocent child. Carol had read all of it in Natasha's file, and even if at the time she didn't know her, it made her cry her heart out to know that they could be capable of doing that to such a young girl, to so many young girls that they took away from their families.

 

Natasha had her head down, she was closing herself like she often did when she was sad, "Hey…" Carol whispered, cupping Natasha's cheeks to make her look into her eyes, "It's okay, Natasha, you don't have to talk about it, I understand," she told her before pulling her into her arms.

 

As much as Carol hated to admit it, Natasha had still so many untreated traumas that they had to take care of, but for this particular one, Carol didn't think she would ever be enough to help her. She could still ask Sam for other support groups that could help for this situation, but she would rather ask Natasha if she would be okay with it first. The redhead didn't like talking about her problems to people she didn't know, therefore she could hate the idea, but Carol felt like she had to at least ask her and see how it'd go, but not now.

 

What Natasha needed was Carol's support, and the blonde gave it all to her, "I'm here for you. If you ever want to talk about it, or if you don't ever want to, I'll respect your choice and support you," she told her and pulled out of the hug.

 

Natasha nodded before Carol pressed her lips on her temple, then her cheek and finally sat up.

 

"So you'd be okay if we… never have sex."

 

"Yeah…" Carol whispered as she slowly ran her fingertips down Natasha's neck,"you know, in space, I didn't have time for this, the only few times were on Earth, it hasn't happen for a long time and I don't need it."

 

Natasha leaned in and kissed her, "Thank you."

 

Carol smiled and pecked her lips as she continued to stroke her fingers on Natasha's skin. She went up, her pointing finger hovering over her chin, then down to collar bone until she noticed a chain she had never seen on the redhead.

 

It wasn't the arrow necklace she had from Laura last Christmas, Carol was sure of it, and it almost looked familiar to her. She was too curious not to tug the chain and see what it was. When she did, Carol gasped because she hadn't seen this item in over a decade, "That's my dog tag," she mumbled as she looked at the damaged piece of metal, the last syllable not there anymore, "where did you find it?"

 

Natasha took the hand that was holding the tag in hers, "It was stashed in one of your pillows, I don't know how you slept on it without noticing it was here," she explained before kissing the back of her hand.

 

Carol chuckled, she knew which pillow Natasha was talking about, "It was Monica's, she used to go everywhere with this pillow as a kid and when she got older she gave it to me for the times I came back. I guess Maria put it there because she knew it'd be safe."

 

"Well, I still found it," Natasha said proudly, opening Carol's hand and passed her thumb over the letters.

 

Then, the redhead took the chain with both her hands and was about to take it off when Carol stopped her, "Keep it…" she murmured, taking Natasha's hands off the chain, "It looks good on you, and that way, if I ever have to go somewhere without you, you'll have a part of me."

 

Natasha silently laugh, and Carol could swear there was a bit of mocking in it, "That's very cheesy but I like it."

 

After a giggle, Carol leaned in and kissed Natasha, the other woman still laughing against her lips, "You know Maria asked me if we were still good."

 

"About what?" Carol asked, confused.

 

"The fact that she knew Nick was alive and didn't tell us," Natasha explained.

 

"Oh!"

 

"Apparently she didn't know until after she led us to the room he was, when she left the room, that's when she was told."

 

Carol let out a sigh by her nose, "I wasn't mad at her anyway."

 

"Me neither, that's what I told her," Natasha whispered before giving Carol's lips a soft kiss, "We should go to Clint's, tell Tony that we are moving in and pack."

 

Carol stood up and offered her hand to Natasha, "After you, Miss Romanoff."

Notes:

A lot of things have been said in this chapter, things important for what's coming. Tell me your thoughts about them in the comments

Chapter 21: The tower

Chapter Text

Natasha and Carol settled in Clint's house for a few weeks as they organised their move to the Avengers Tower with Tony. He had a quinjet at his disposal, which made it easier for the two women to get their belongings there but it was choosing what would go and what would stay stored in Clint's garage that took some time.

 

The clothes were basically all coming with them, except a few that they didn't like anymore and gave to a charity, but for the rest, they had to ask Tony how their rooms would be, if they'd have enough space to fit what they wanted to bring.

 

Maria was the one piloting the jet from New York to Maryland, because she was one of the four people to know about Clint's family and the marksman didn't want anyone else to be aware of it, especially not Tony.

 

The ex S.H.I.E.L.D agent was now only an Avenger, just like Clint and Natasha who were unemployed and not looking for another job, not that any agency would trust them anyway. But, unlike them, Maria was an employee of Tony, she was paid by him and had specific tasks, when all the others were just coming and going when they wanted and worked on their own things. Maria was the one orchestrating everything for what Carol heard since she came back, and Tony was paying for it.

 

Carol already knew for what she would use the Avengers' equipment, and that was to find James Barnes, as well as looking for Loki's sceptre and the remaining HYDRA agents like Rumlow and Rollins, but that was everybody's priority. Sam was ready to meet up whenever she'd have infos and would go after him alone this time, he and Carol both knowing that the blonde would be very occupied in New York.

 

She also knew that Natasha had fears about the Red Room being back again, the redhead had unconsciously told her when she talked in her sleep. Carol didn't mention it though, she was waiting for Natasha to come to her and share her thoughts, knowing that if she did Natasha would withdraw into herself and not talk about the problem at all.

 

When they arrived at the tower, Carol and Natasha took their belongings to their own room, since they agreed that they would keep their relationship secret for the time being.

 

Carol went to her room expecting that it would be just like she left it the last time she was there a few months ago but Tony managed to surprise her. Instead of the desk that wasn't of any use for the blonde was a piano with a note on it.

 

 

Pepper told me you could play so I thought you'd like to have one here.

 

I might judge you though! My mother was the best pianist ever and I doubt you are half as good as her.

 

 

Carol laughed, Tony was probably right, but she would make sure to show him that she quite good herself.

 

After putting all her clothes in the dressing room, the few pictures and other objects that she brought all around the room, Carol changed into her gym clothes since they had agreed with Natasha that they would go and try the equipment.

 

Now that she was dressed, Carol went to her bed and let herself fall on it, relaxing as she waited for the redhead to join her in her room.

 

Not a minute later, she heard the door of her room opening without her permitting it.

 

"So he did the same for your room," said Natasha as she walked in Carol's direction, wearing a sport bra and yoga pants.

 

"Did what?" the blonde asked, leaning on her elbows to watch the other woman as she reached her level.

 

Natasha sat on the bed beside Carol and smiled, "I'm allowed to enter your room whenever I want and you can do the same in mine. I suppose he knows we are close."

 

"But he doesn't know how close," Carol smirked as she grasped Natasha's waist and pulled her closer to capture her lips.

 

The redhead giggled as she kissed back and straddled Carol's hips, pushing the woman under her flat on the mattress. Both laughing and smiling, they kissed sloppily, Carol quickly going from Natasha's mouth to her jaw and neck.

 

Leaving a trail of kisses on her collarbone, Carol noticed the scar Natasha had on her shoulder from the Winter Soldier's bullet, "He really wanted to leave marks on you, didn't he?" she said as she moved the strap of Natasha's sport bra to the side to have an access to it. With her soft lips, she kissed the mark that remained from the wound before Natasha gently cupped her cheeks at make the blonde look at her.

 

"He also really wanted us to be symmetrical," she whispered as she sat up and one of her hands reached the hem of Carol's tank top and pulled it up, "but yours looks better than mine," she added as she caressed the scar with her pointing finger. With a smirk, Natasha got off of Carol's body in order to have a better access to her belly and leaned over her scar before pressing a gentle kiss on it as she traced the lines of Carol's abs with her fingers.

 

"You know these are really sexy, right?" she asked and slowly moved, her mouth hovering over Carol's ripped abdominal muscles.

 

The blonde giggled, watching Natasha kissing each of her abs as she stroked her hand in her red hair, "Your abs are great too," she complimented as she sat up, coming face to face with her lover, "and I'd love to see them in action. Come on, let's go to the gym."

 

"Wait! I wanted to talk to you about something first."

 

Carol was intrigued but didn't show it, she just leaned on her hands and observed Natasha as she straddled her lap again. The atmosphere suddenly changed, Natasha was focused, her face emotionless, yet Carol could see in her eyes that a lot was going on inside her head.

 

"I thought about what you suggested the other time and I think we should try… to help Bruce with the Hulk thing."

 

Hearing his name, Carol instantly sat up, her hands finding Natasha's to give her some comfort, "Are you sure?" she asked, an ounce of worry hidden in her tone. The redhead simply nodded at first, but it didn't convince Carol, thus she added, "I have to at least try. As you said, he was triggered by something back then when he saw me, so we can try and see if it was just a one time thing or if it can become our way to get him back," with her thumb, Natasha brushed Carol's lips and smiled, "and I know you'll be there the whole time to take care of me if I need you."

 

It was Carol's turn to smile, it was so brave of Natasha to want to do that, and it could really help the team in case the Hulk would get out of their control. Before, even thinking about it was triggering to her, but now that she was doing better and took the initiative to propose the idea to Carol, "I'm so proud of you," the blonde told her and brought the hand she was holding up to her mouth, softly kissing Natasha's knuckle.

 

The redhead then freed her hand and pulled Carol into a lingering kiss before pressing their foreheads together, "I couldn't do any of this without you, not like this. If you weren't there I'd be another person, just like I was when we met, but worse. I'd just be a shadow wandering around, doing what I'd be asked to do… You gave me my life back."

 

"And you gave me a real life. Before you I had never wanted to settle in with someone, but that changed, because I met you, and I want to be where you are."

 

At these words, Natasha chuckled, "What is happening to us?"

 

Carol joined her in her amusement, "I don't know," she laughed, "we should go, Tony must be waiting for us to do his tour thing."

 

With a quick kiss, Natasha agreed and stood up, waiting for Carol to show her the way since she was the one who knew where the gym was.

 

In the hallway and the elevator, Natasha and Carol were holding hands, but before the doors of the elevator opened Natasha let go of Carol's hand, knowing that Tony was there.

 

"Ah! Finally!" he exclaimed as they stepped inside, Natasha discovering with wide eyes the gym Tony built for them, "I don't think I need to show you around, you both know how to use these but I wanted to give you this, Cap," Tony said as he handed Carol a couple of keys, "It's for the thing you asked. Since I'm sure only you will use it I thought that only you needed access," he shrugged as he passed by them and entered the elevator, "you two have fun. And welcome home!" he finished as the door closed.

 

Observing the keys in her hand, Carol could feel Natasha's eyes on her, "What's that thing you asked for?" she demanded, slowly approaching the blonde.

 

"I think it's better if I show you," Carol replied mysteriously before taking Natasha's hand and pulling her in direction of the room.

 

She was very nervous about it, she didn't know how it looked like, she just told Tony to make this room a dance studio but he didn't keep her updated about the work in progress.

 

With her hands lightly shaking, Carol put the keys in the lock and opened the door. She let Natasha go first without taking a glimpse at the inside.

 

When she did enter, Carol found Natasha dumbstruck, standing still in the middle of the room with her jaw dropped. Carol joined her and wrapped her arms around Natasha's waist from behind, "You like it?" she asked shyly, looking around and discovering herself how great it was.

 

Natasha opened her mouth to talk but it seems like she couldn't, like the words were dying on her tongue. Her reaction didn't scared Carol, she could tell Natasha wasn't upset by this, she even seemed to like the surprise, that was why she was speechless.

 

"I… don't even know if I can still dance," she eventually mumbled.

 

"I'm sure you can," Carol told her as she moved to stand in front of her, "and you can still learn."

 

"Thank you," Natasha said before stepping into Carol's arms for a quick hug.

 

Looking around again, Carol noticed something she hadn't seem when she entered, "He put a piano there too!" she exclaimed as she saw it and sat on the stool.

 

She played a few chords, looking back at Natasha who was walking towards her and sat beside her, "I guess I'll dance on classic music played by you."

 

"It'd be an honour," Carol replied and leaned in to kiss Natasha's temple.

 

Natasha moved closer, Carol wrapping her arm around Natasha's waist as Natasha rested her head on her shoulder. Carol continued to play with one hand, chords a thousand times happier than the last she played on that day when she upset Natasha. She knew Natasha was watching her and couldn't fight a small smile as the redhead put her hand on her thigh, mindlessly tracing circles on her skin.

 

Carol didn't remember the last time she felt so free and happy, she wasn't sure she had ever felt like that at all, but anyway it was something she wanted more in her life, and she also wanted Natasha to experience it.

 

But deep down, Carol knew that was the hardest part, she knew Natasha was still haunted by so many things that happened in her past and that she couldn't be free until she was healed from everything it brought to her.

 

When she came back to the US with Sam, he reminded her of the talk they had had about support groups, smartly suggesting that he had figured out that Carol had asked for Natasha and now was the time for her to propose it to the redhead.

 

"Hey," she began as she stopped playing the piano, "I know you might hate the idea but I think it could help you. I've been talking with Sam about support groups and he said that it was the best way to heal from mental traumas and I agree with him."

 

Natasha didn't say anything for a moment, she just kept staring at Carol's hand that was now on her lap and drew random lines on her clothed thigh, "Maybe you're right," she finally said, sitting up to look at Carol, "but you know I can't talk to strangers, I just can't."

 

"I've been thinking about that actually. I thought that we could do something here, just between us, since we've all been through some shit," it was actually Sam's idea, he told Carol that it was easier for people to open up when they trusted the others in the room with them, "Even if we all lived different things, we were still hurt and I think it can be good for all of us to share it."

 

Natasha sighed, "Who then?"

 

"Us, Maria, Tony. Maybe Thor and Sam when they can come to New York.

 

Carol observed Natasha as she thought, her jaw clenched and eyes wandering around. She had high hopes for this because she thought it through. Bruce could've been included, he had a difficult childhood that definitely left its mark on him, but Carol knew that Natasha would immediately say no if she had heard his name.

 

"I guess we can give it a try," Natasha eventually said, looking at Carol with a half smile, "but I can't promise I will feel comfortable enough to speak."

 

The fact that she wanted to try was satisfying enough for Carol, "It's okay," she whispered before kissing her temple, "you go at your own pace, just like we did together."

 

Natasha nodded as she slightly spun on the stool, one of her leg now resting on Carol's lap. The blonde looked down and snicker, knowing exactly what Natasha intended to do. Thus, she let her go for it, at her own pace, always, even if she could have made things go fast by just kissing her.

 

Her arm still around Natasha's waist, Carol just kept holding Natasha against her body as the other woman stared at her lips, her mouth parted and lips curved into a smile. It amused Carol to see Natasha taking her time, as if she was waiting for something that would prevent them from kissing, as if they were back four months ago and hadn't already kiss. But it was also charming to have Natasha there, being so attracted to Carol and at the same time resisting, trying to escape this magnetic field that was the blonde to her, that Carol didn't mind waiting.

 

Finally moving, Natasha put her open hand on Carol's chest and pressed their lips together. It was always so soft when Natasha kissed her, she could feel all of her feelings, how much she loved Carol even though she never said it out loud, how anxious she was deep down at the idea of losing her, although Carol would never leave her, she promised herself that they would spend all their days together.

 

When she broke the kiss, Natasha looked up at Carol's eyes, the latter still smiling, "We should hit the gym now."

 

Carol locked the door of the dance studio behind them and joined Natasha on the mat. She had not sparred since before she left for the east of Europe and definitely needed to get back to her previous shape. But what she didn't anticipated was that sparring with Natasha now that they were dating would turn them into two young girls bickering more than professional fighters training.

 

It began with Natasha strapping up Carol's hands. She purposely messed it up, Carol not even reacting to the teasing and letting her redoing it.

 

During their fight, they ended up in each other's arms most of the time, rolling all over the mat and giggling as one of them intentionally fell and pulled the other with her. Only a few of their exchange of punches were successful and looked like something skilled fighters like them would do.

 

After this not so exhausting sparring session, Natasha went back to her room to shower, since she didn't want to use the common bathroom Tony had built on this floor, and Carol stayed to lift weight.

 

She was drained when she went back to her room and for a second she thought she was in Natasha's because she was there, laying on her bed, just relaxing. But she was in fact in the right bedroom, the piano was there.

 

"Hey there," Natasha greeted, standing up to give a peck to Carol's lips, "damn, you lifted the whole building or what?" she asked, seeing Carol's exhaustion with a closer look.

 

"You know I can push planets, right?" Carol replied with an amused tone.

 

"But you have to be all glowing to do that."

 

Carol nodded, and even this little motion hurt the muscles of her back. Quietly groaning, she rubbed the back of her neck as she sat on her bed.

 

"You should take a shower."

 

"I smell that bad, huh?"

 

Natasha giggled as she sat beside the blonde, "That's not what I said but while you are showering I can get us food and then we'll watch a movie and go to bed. What do you think?"

 

This idea sounded like perfection to Carol, she would easily get used to this life if her days were always just her and Natasha cuddling in bed, eating or training.

 

With another nod, she agreed with Natasha's proposition and went to the bathroom, finding the bathtub already filled with bubbly fuming water, low lightening and soft music in the background.

 

Carol had a hard time believing that Natasha did all this for her, she didn't think it was the kind of attention she would get by dating her, but it was for sure a pleasant surprise.

 

She didn't waste time and undressed before entering the hot bath, her sore body quickly soothed by the perfect temperature of the water and the chill atmosphere created by the lights and music.

 

Carol completely lost track of time as she relaxed in the bath. She was imperturbable, even her phone that rang in the other room didn't bother her the slightest. Only when Natasha came back from the kitchen and put her hand on Carol's shoulder, the blonde opened her eyes and noticed she had been in there for half an hour.

 

"Food's ready," Natasha told her before leaving her alone in the bathroom.

 

Carol took her time to exit the bath, put on her robe and dried herself. After putting on her pyjamas, a tank top and shorts, she joined Natasha on the couch of the living area of her room and found various options of snacks on the coffee table, "Didn't know what to take so I robbed the kitchen," Natasha said with a chuckle as she tapped the couch beside her, inviting Carol to lie down.

 

"Thanks," the blonde replied as she obliged, putting her head on Natasha's chest, "for that and the bath, it's really sweet of you."

 

Natasha hummed and turned on the television, zapping from channel to channel until she found a movie that seemed decent enough to be watched.

 

Carol barely paid attention to the movie, nor did she eat enough to be sustained, but she was already very tired and being there with Natasha brought her so much comfort that she fell asleep not twenty minutes after the movie started.

 


 

She should turn the TV off, it was not like she was watching it anyway, but she was too busy staring at Carol fast asleep against her side to even think about finding the remote and switching it off.

 

Natasha never expressly said it, but Carol was the most attractive woman she had ever seen. Everything about her was perfect, from her long blonde hair to her sharp jaw, from her soft lips to her hazelnut eyes, she was definitely the prettiest person in this world. Natasha felt so lucky to have her, not only because of her beauty, of course, but also and mostly because she was such a nice and caring person, who was doing her best everyday to be what Natasha needed her to be.

 

Gently caressing the blonde's hair, Natasha just stared at her for the whole duration of the movie after she had fallen asleep and would have kept on doing it if nobody had knocked on the door.

 

"Jarvis?" demanded Natasha, she needed to know if she could be seen with Carol like they were by the person on the other side of the door.

 

"It is Maria Hill, Ms. Romanoff," quietly said the AI with its British accent.

 

"Let her in."

 

Maria slowly walked in, smirking as she saw the two women cuddled up on the couch and the blonde asleep, "I knew I'd find you here."

 

Natasha was going to say that it was her room when she remembered they were in Carol's, "So I presume by the two separated room that you guys are keeping it quiet for now."

 

"You know the boys, Maria. I don't want them to be around us all the time."

 

"Oh, trust me, I get that," she said a bit too loudly, making Carol stir in her sleep. Natasha glanced at her with a warning look as she kept on stroking her fingers in Carol's hair and Maria mouthed a quick apology before speaking up, "You remember that time when I was dating that medic woman," Natasha nodded, "do you also remember how quickly Clint started to tease me about it?'

 

That, Natasha remembered perfectly, and at that time she even thanked whoever people believed in for making her like she was, not willing to date anyone, therefore she would never be teased about it by Clint, but she had been very wrong.

 

"Just tell me when you guys are official, in the meantime I'll just pretend that I'm blind," Maria said as she walked to the door.

 

Natasha almost threw a cushion at her for implying that they were not discreet but she was actually quite right and the guys of the team were very blind to not see it.

 

"You didn't come all the way here just to make sure Carol and I were together?" she asked before Maria could leave.

 

"It can wait, don't worry about it," the dark haired woman told her before stepping out of the room.

 

With a sigh, Natasha looked down at the sleepy woman laying beside her, "I don't like it when she says that," she mumbled to herself, "last time she did everything went to shit."

 

Everything being all the things they had to deal with now, searching for Loki's sceptre, the Captain America case, HYDRA, and more.

 

It was meant to reassure her, but Maria's words did the opposite and now Natasha was seriously anxious, wondering what was the thing Maria would want to talk about to her and Carol.

 

Of course, Natasha thought it was about the Red Room, she had shared her concerns about them being back to Maria when Carol was gone and still had not told her about it.

 

It was probably nothing, just her anxiety getting the best of her, but she had been driven by it, by them, since she escaped them. She was sure they were still out there somewhere and wasn't saying it to Carol because there was nothing she could do about it more than just using the resources Maria was already using to try and find them.

 

And Carol was already dealing with so much of Natasha's traumas, adding this would only add one more burden on her, and Natasha really wanted to be something else than a dead weight for the woman she loved. She was trying, desperately, not to think about the possibility of the Red Room still existing, but there was always something to remind her of it, something to tell her that they left their mark on her and that she would always be haunted by them.

 

Accepting her broken state, Natasha lied more comfortably on the couch and pulled her girlfriend closer to her. Carol lightly whined in her sleep as the redhead wrapped her arms around her but then sighed satisfyingly against the skin of her chest when she covered their bodies with a blanket.

 

This was the least Natasha could do, bring a tiny bit of comfort to Carol's everyday life, to thank her for everthing she did for her. It would never match all she already did, but it was something, and Natasha felt like she must thank her, like she must be grateful every minute of every day for all the things Carol had done and would do to make her life slightly less miserable.

Chapter 22: Date

Chapter Text

Carol woke up with a knot in her stomach. After a couple of weeks of planning, she was finally going to take Natasha out for a date. Their first date.

 

They never went out before, too busy working on HYDRA, Loki's sceptre, James Barnes… They worked on these cases for a whole month and still had nothing for any of them, except a few HYDRA agents that they arrested.

 

Seeing that they had nothing to work on for a while, Carol planned a nice evening for her and Natasha, nothing out of the extraordinary, they were just going at a restaurant, but the fact that it was their first date put some pressure on the blonde's shoulders.

 

As usual, she was the first to wake up, thus she stared at Natasha, who had had quite a calm night. Since they moved to the tower, her nights had been agitated. At first, Natasha pretended it was the change, the new bed, but she was talking in her sleep, and it was always the same, them.

 

Carol could barely understand anything of the few words Natasha was saying when she had nightmares, and it was not because she wasn't enunciating them clearly enough. She was talking in Russian. Carol's few Russian lessons were way too far in her life for her to remember a lot of it, but she recognised it.

 

In a conscious state, Natasha had never spoke Russian in front of Carol, she might have spoken Russian a few times since she ran away from them, but considering her screams of terror that went along with the foreign language, it had to mean her nightmares were about her past, when she did use it.

 

But, just like when they were at Clint's, Natasha wasn't talking about it to Carol, as hard as the blonde tried to make her, so she didn't know how to help except by always being there in case she needed her.

 

Unfortunately, it started to affect the way she was during the day too, three weeks after they moved in. They had been trying to organise one of those support group meeting with Tony, Maria and Sam when Natasha totally cancelled the whole thing, saying she didn't need it. Same for the idea of working with Bruce, Carol had proposed the idea to the scientist and Tony – who were both very excited about it considering that what they had set up was expansive and could be as destructive as the Hulk himself – but Natasha said that she was not ready for it in the end.

 

After a lot of time thinking about the date idea, Carol had asked Maria, and the brunette really helped, encouraged her to take her out, away from all the stress Natasha was facing everyday at the tower. She also gave Carol one of her dress, that she didn't remember buying apparently, for her to look gorgeous for the redhead. Carol wasn't usually the type of woman thatwore dresses, but this one fitted her perfectly. It was simple, black, form-hugging but not too vulgar, and the only pair of heels she owned matched it as if it had been made for it.

 

Today was finally the day she was taking Natasha out and as she watched the smaller woman slowly waking up, Carol prepared her words in her head.

 

"Hey baby," she began with a kiss on Natasha's cheek.

 

Giggling, Natasha rolled on her back, "hey," she said with her most genuine smile before cupping Carol's cheek to pull her into a kiss.

 

Carol felt Natasha's smile against her lips, and she knew exactly why she was so happy.

 

The pet name, baby, she loved it, even thought she would never admit it. The first time Carol called her that way, it was an accident, she had not think of it and it just escaped her mouth, but the redhead didn't say anything about it. Then, she called her that way a few other times, testing the terrain, and Natasha still didn't seem to be bothered, so she kept it. Of course, when they were with the other Avengers – even if it was just Maria who knew about them – she didn't call her baby, but in private it happened a lot.

 

"Slept well?" Natasha asked as she stroked her thumb on Carol's cheek.

 

"Always when I'm with you."

 

It was true, Carol didn't have nightmares when she and Natasha were in the same bed. Some times, when they each slept in their own rooms, it could happen that she had dreams of her time back on Hala, but it was pretty rare.

 

Leaning in to kiss Carol, Natasha pushed her flat on the mattress before getting out of bed, "I have no time for your need of attention, I have things to do with Maria and I believe you have some bad guys to catch."

 

Carol watched Natasha as she took her – Carol's – T-shirt off and put on another one, "They don't need me, I could stay in bed all day but it's no fun if there's nobody to cuddle with."

 

"Don't know who's that person you cuddle with is but they are lucky," Natasha said as she walked towards the exit of the room, smirking like she usually did when she was teasing Carol, "You'll join me in my room tonight?" she asked as she stopped at the door.

 

"Actually I have something planned for tonight."

 

Natasha was surprised, "Oh?"

 

Carol smirked, her plan worked perfectly, "Yeah," she began as she got out of bed and joined Natasha at the door, "see, there's this girl I really like at work and I thought I could take her out for dinner. If she is interested, of course."

 

Biting her bottom lip, Natasha leaned against the door frame and took Carol's hands, "Dinner huh? She is a lucky girl."

 

"It's nothing much, but yeah, she is."

 

Natasha tugged Carol by the hands and brought their lips together, "I'll meet you in the lobby then," she whispered before finally leaving Carol's bedroom.

 

For the rest of the morning, Carol couldn't stop grinning. She went upstairs to eat breakfast and smiled at her cup of tea the whole time, not even caring that both Bruce and Maria saw her being a happy idiot alone. Later, when she, Tony and Clint ran after HYDRA thugs, she chased them with a smile on her lips, as if she was enjoying it, when really she wished she was with Natasha at the tower.

 

Back there then, she went to the gym for her daily training and ran into the redhead who had just finished her dance session. They didn't talk, only shared a glance as Carol entered the gym and Natasha got in the elevator, but their eyes were enough to show their excitement for the date scheduled later on the day.

 

Her session at the gym done, it was time for Carol to go to her room and get ready for dinner.

 

She started to feel very nervous as she passed her door, as if it was an actual first date with someone she barely knew. But it wasn't the case, she knew Natasha by heart and knew she would love the place, therefore she forced herself to relax as she showered and thought about something else.

 

Putting make up on and doing her hair took more time than anticipated, and Carol realised as she dressed that she was running late. She didn't tell Natasha when they should meet up, but since they moved in New York they often ate at eight and the redhead surely guessed that Carol reserved the restaurant at that time.

 

Finally dressed, Carol took one last look at herself in the mirror, concluding that she looked handsome, and walked fast to the elevator.

 

She didn't even try to knock at Natasha's door, she could feel that the other woman was already waiting for her, and she was right.

 

Saying that Natasha was gorgeous would be an understatement, she was the most beautiful woman Carol had seen in the entire universe. Dumbstruck by Natasha and her red dress, the door of the elevator closed before Carol could step out of it to join her. She laughed at herself as she pressed the button to get the door open again and finally walked in direction of her girlfriend.

 

"Natasha, I can't even find words to express how good you look right now."

 

The smaller woman lightly chuckled, as if she didn't believe what Carol said, "When I see you like that I'm really glad I made an effort to look acceptable."

 

Carol shook her head as she approached Natasha, "No, you are not acceptable," she said as she put her hands on Natasha's waist, "you are perfect," she added before kissing her lips.

 

"Well! You both look lovely tonight."

 

They shared a glance as they broke apart, and then realised who had just entered the lobby.

 

"I have to admit, I didn't know you were together but I definitely could feel the attraction," Pepper told them as she walked at there level, "glad to see you changed your mind about the whole dating thing, Natasha."

 

Pepper knew about Natasha's feelings, Carol noted. She thought the redhead only talked to Maria about them before their first kiss, but it seemed that she had been wrong. It was a good thing though, because Carol knew that Natasha didn't feel like sharing her life to others, even the ones she trusted, even more when it came to things so personal, and the fact that she told Pepper meant to she was doing better, or at least back then she was.

 

A silence filled the room as both Carol and Natasha didn't know what to say.

 

Hopefully for them, Pepper was busy and had to leave, "Well, I have to meet my own man for dinner. You two have fun," Pepper said with a wink before heading to the elevator.

 

They thanked her quickly before Carol turned to Natasha, "Shall we?" she asked as she offered her arm to the redhead.

 

A car was already waiting for them, compliment of Maria and the fact that she controlled basically everything at the tower. Natasha didn't seem so surprise by it, as if Carol organising a date meant she would obviously make it extraordinary and perfect. It was her goal, but achieving it would be a difficult task.

 

The ride to the restaurant was fast, ten minutes at best, Carol even recognised the surrounding yet she had not explore New York a lot despite for the block around the tower.

 

Stepping inside, they were both in shock by the beauty of the place. It was surely the most romantic place Maria could have suggested, chandeliers at the ceiling, candles and bouquets of roses on the table, white tablecloth, making it all look pure and light.

 

"Wow, Carol!" Natasha exclaimed as a waitress led them to their table, "how did you know this place?"

 

Carol thanked the waitress before answering mysteriously, "I know people, and they know great places."

 

Natasha smirked, "Well, you'll thank them for me."

 

Carol ordered champagne with the first course for them to drink to their relationship and their love, even if she didn't say it like that. It was simpler, "to the first of our numerous dates to come."

 

As the waited for their plates to arrive, Carol felt like she had to mention something she noted earlier, "So, Pepper knew?"

 

Natasha didn't see the question coming, her eyes avoiding Carol's as she cleared her throat, "Um, yeah…" she began and took another sip of champagne, "the first time we came here we talked and she asked if we were dating."

 

That was at the time of the beginning of her crush for Natasha, and at the time Carol didn't think the redhead reciprocated it, "She thought we were dating back then? It was more than a year ago, I didn't think you had feelings for me at the time."

 

"Well, I did…" Natasha said as her cheeks blushed but she finally gazed into Carol's hazelnut one. The blonde smiled childishly, realising that they had both been clueless about the other's feelings.

 

"So she knows we are together now…"

 

"She won't tell Tony, if that's what you're worried about," immediately clarified, it sounded like she was more trying to convince herself than Carol, "I'm not, I trust Pepper to keep it for herself."

 

The dinner continued with the main course and Carol talking about work, the people she arrested during the day with Clint and Tony. When she asked was Natasha did during her day, the redhead was evasive, she said she looked for more vanished HYDRA agents when earlier in the morning she had told Carol she would work with Maria on some "things". As the dinner went, Carol noticed that Natasha wasn't really there anymore, she was barely talking, half listening and didn't even finish her meal.

 

Worried, Carol couldn't wait until they would get back at the tower to ask, "Baby, tell me what's going on, please. I can see something is wrong."

 

Natasha shook her head, as if she was amused that Carol saw so quickly that she wasn't all right, "I've been working with Maria for a few weeks, while y'all were catching bad guys. I'm not sure yet but um…" she looked up at Carol, and at this instant she understood what it was about, "I think they are back… or they were always there, I'm not sure about that yet. But anyway, it's kinda on my mind all the time."

 

Carol couldn't believe her girlfriend didn't share it with her. It explained a lot, the nightmares, the changes of mood, "Natasha-" she cried, wanting to say more but the redhead already knew what to tell her, "And I didn't tell you because you had already a lot on your side, all the arrests and Barnes, I didn't want to add my thing."

 

"Baby, you have to tell me things like this," Carol said as she leaned on the table and took Natasha's hand, "I saw you were not doing fine, but you were not talking to me about anything that was bothering you so I thought I was misreading you."

 

"You shouldn't have to deal with my shit all the time, Carol."

 

"But I promised you I would. I promised I'd be the person who would help you with your problems, let me help you," Carol begged, tears in her eyes as she brought Natasha's hand to her mouth.

 

Natasha was as emotional as Carol, but also touched that she would devote so much time of her life for her, "Okay," she eventually whispered and cupped Carol's cheek, the latter kissing the inside of her hand before letting it go.

 

The rest of the dinner was quieter, filled with soft staring, hand holding and little talks about anything but work.

 

They went back to the tower on foot, enjoying the streets slightly calmer of New York at this moment of the day. Their stroll ended in front of Natasha's bedroom door, where Carol always waited for the smaller woman to invite her in.

 

But, to her surprise, she didn't, "I feel like sleeping alone tonight, Carol."

 

Carol was taken aback, she didn't know what to say, "O-okay…" she stammered, not understanding what happened between their walk and now.

 

"I don't know," the redhead sighed, stepping closer to Carol, "you didn't do anything wrong if that's what you're thinking. I just wanna be alone."

 

"Can I at least sleep in your room, on the couch?" she didn't think before asking, it just felt right. It was a weird impression, but Carol knew it in her gut that she had to be in Natasha's room for the night.

 

Natasha didn't reply, instead she tugged Carol inside as she softly smiled.

 

"Wait! I'm gonna take this off in my room and then I'll join you."

 


 

It was late, Natasha wasn't in a happy mood, she wanted to be alone, but she didn't feel like telling Carol to fuck off either. And her poor girlfriend didn't deserve a harsh no, she had been the nicest all night, so Natasha accepted to let her sleep on her couch.

 

She was glad the blonde had to go to her room first, though, it gave her a bit of time on her own to get ready to bed.

 

Natasha wasn't sick of Carol, she absolutely wasn't, but some times she just wanted to be alone. Usually, Carol respected it, but it seemed that tonight was an exception. The redhead couldn't be mad at her for that, she also had needs, and being with Natasha was one of them. She knew Carol slept well with her, better than when she was alone, and that was why she let her stay, maybe being in the same room as her would be enough for Carol to have a restful sleep.

 

In her bathroom, Natasha took her dress off as well as her heels and jewellery, but kept the metal chain with Carol's dog tag. She never took it off, since the day she found it in the pillow, it was always hanging on her neck, often hidden under her shirt so the others didn't notice it.

 

Staring at the engraved letters, Natasha wonder how it must have felt to find this tag and nothing else of Carol on that lake side. A nightmare, was her first guess, like dying was her second. Just thinking about losing Carol made Natasha sick in her stomach, it wasn't something she would allow, never. She loved her so much, she couldn't see her die. It was very selfish, but Natasha hoped she would be the first one to die, she probably would anyway, she wasn't ageing fast but it was still faster than Carol.

 

"You okay in there?" asked Carol, leaning against the door frame in her pyjamas.

 

Natasha looked at her in the mirror, letting the dog tag fall on her chest, "Yeah, just got lost in my thoughts," she said with a forced chuckle that didn't dupe Carol at all.

 

"What's going on, Natasha?" she asked as she approached the redhead, gently pulling her against her chest as she wrapped her arms around her waist.

 

"Do you think we will ever have a normal life?"

 

Carol was surprised by the question, Natasha could tell she was by the way she tried to hide it, giving her temple a lingering kiss, "do you want to?" she eventually asked, looking right at Natasha while the smaller woman kept staring at the mirror, "I do…" she whispered and looked down at her hands on Carol's, "I want a family, a house, like Clint has."

 

"Then we will," Carol instantly replied, "whenever you are done being a hero, we stop it all and settle down. I promise."

 

Natasha wanted to argue, to remind Carol that she couldn't have kids, but she was too tired.

 

Another kiss, this time on her cheek, interrupted her trail of thoughts, "Let's go to bed, okay?" Carol said in a soft tone.

 

Natasha turned in her arms as she held a laughter, "You remember you are sleeping on the couch tonight, right?"

 

"Mh-mm," she nodded, "but we still have to go."

 

Natasha pecked her lips before leaving the bathroom, Carol closely following her until they reached the bed.

 

With both her hands, Carol gently cupped Natasha's cheeks, "Goodnight," she whispered before kissing her tenderly, "goodnight Carol," Natasha said as they pulled away.

 

She watched her girlfriend going to the living area, three stairs down in her room, before lying down in her bed. Carol laid so she could see the redhead from the other side of the room, and waved at her when she realised the other woman was still staring at her.

 

She giggled, of course she did, it was Carol after all. This sound was one of Natasha's favourite, it always made her smile, made her forget all the bad for a couple of seconds.

 

Natasha forced herself to think about the good as she tried to fall asleep, but it was hard, the bad was there, waiting for the good moment to remind her of its presence but she wanted to fight it, she wanted to have a good night of sleep for once, in the comfort of her bed in the tower with her girlfriend not far.

 

She was a fool.

 

She was tied at her bed, chains around her wrists and ankles, preventing her to move, to lay comfortably. They were all like that, sleeping horribly with these heavy chains, and none of them said a word, knowing what the consequences would be.

 

They all fell asleep at some point, the fatigue helping to forget the discomfort. And, as usual, in the end it was only Natasha and the girl on the bunk above her who were still awake, incapable of finding Morpheus.

 

Sasha, she was a few years younger than Natasha. They weren't training together, which was good because Natasha really didn't want to kill her. Since they had been put in the same dormitory, they had been chatting together using Morse code, tapping their fingertips on the metal of the beds. It wasn't simple, it was a long process, but they got to know each other quite well.

 

She knew Sasha was funny, she had a witty humour despite her young age and it often cost them to be punished because Natasha couldn't hold her laughters. She was also a very skilled fighter, maybe better than Natasha would ever be, but she hid it or they would make her fight more to try and break her, they would break her.

 

Sometimes, Sasha made Natasha think of Yelena, her sister – kind of – that she had not seen in a very long time. Natasha missed her a lot, as well as this father and mother she had had for three years, and she was hoping everyday that she was okay, although it was hard for a young girl to be okay when being raised in the Red Room

 

That was the mistake Natasha made, she showed too quickly that she was good, and now she was paying the price of it. She was fighting almost everyday, they were draining her from all her strengths before throwing her in a one versus two fight but she was still better and won them.

 

But this afternoon she lost, on purpose, and Madam B realised it. Of course she realised it, how could Natasha be so stupid, it was impossible to play this woman.

 

So this evening, as a punishment for her attempt at cheating, Natasha had been whipped, and she didn't get to eat. Her stomach was aching and grumbling and Sasha noticed. In Morse code, she asked if Natasha was okay, but the redhead didn't feel to tell her everything that happened in the day, it would take too long, thus she lied, said it was nothing.

 

But Sasha wasn't an idiot, she knew Natasha well and tried to look at her. Of course, with the chains, she couldn't, and because she was stubborn and wanted to know, she asked. Out loud. "What happened?", she said, and ten seconds later a guard was at her level and punched her in the face before uncuffing her and took her out of the dormitory.

 

Natasha wanted to scream, to go after them but she was stuck, and she couldn't endure torture and brainwashing tonight. She was so tired, she wished she could get killed in her next fight, but at the same time there was this voice in her head telling her to hold on, that one day she would get away and be free.

 

She would never be free, she would never be safe. How could she escape? She was tied at her bed, it was impossible for her to take the chains off and even if she could there were dozens of armed men watching her, watching them all.

 

She wouldn't make it alive, she would die here. Maybe in a fight, or maybe in this bed.

 

But she was in her room, in the tower, she just had a nightmare. She was safe. Carol was not far away, still asleep on the couch, apparently Natasha's stirs and whimpers in her sleep not loud enough to awake her.

 

She was safe.

 

But they were still there, in the corner of her mind, taunting her, controlling her entire life.

 

Natasha could feel her breathing speeding up, the droplets of sweat on her temples and in the back of her neck, but she could not move. She was so tired of all this, the nightmares, the anxiety that accompanied her everyday. Even in her best moments, when she thought she was okay, there was always something, just a little thing, that reminded her of the Red Room, and that she was not safe, that she would never be safe.

 

Desperately, she called out for Carol, but between her twisted throat and her short breathing, the name of the woman she loved sounded like a choking sound.

 

She was alone, even with the blonde not far.

 

Trying to relax, Natasha threw her head back in her pillow and did the breathing exercise Carol told her about.

 

Inhale for eight seconds, hold her breath for four and exhale for six. It worked every time, and it was working again.

 

It was hard, but Natasha managed to think about something else than her persecutors. And what better memories than some moments she spent with Carol, back before they were even dating.

 

She remembered Thanksgiving, how good the blonde looked that night, how much fun they had. Then, she thought about Carol surprise visit for Christmas and the amazing afternoon they spent with Clint's kids, playing with them while the Bartons were taking some time for themselves. She could recall very distinctively the morning at Carol's best friend's house, and how many opportunities she had had to kiss her, but didn't, because none of them felt right.

 

And their first kiss, that she would always remember.

 

Even if it happened in public, while they were running away from HYDRA, there was nothing Natasha wanted to change about it. The way Carol reacted, how she pulled her closer and kissed back, it confirmed her that the blonde had wanted the same for so long, but never dare to do the first step.

 

If she was being honest, Natasha was glad that Carol didn't kiss her before, that she let her go at her own pace. She suspected that the Captain did it on purpose, she was well aware of Natasha's psychological state, and therefore that adding a romantic relationship in her life could be a burden too heavy to carry. But since that moment in the mall, Natasha realised she was ready, she had always been but was scared of what being in a relationship would mean. She didn't expect it to be so wholesome all the time, she didn't think Carol could be perfect every time they were together, but she was. She knew Natasha so well, knew when to push her and when to stop, when to take her in her arms and when to leave her alone.

 

It had been five months since their first kiss and every moment they spent together were good, not perfect because there were outside factors affecting their relationship, but the blonde herself never did anything wrong since this kiss.

 

Just a few hours earlier, she insisted to sleep in Natasha's room, even if the redhead had asked to be alone, she felt that she had to stay close and had been right.

 

Her breathing back to normal, Natasha was very grateful that she didn't have to exit her bedroom to join her girlfriend. She got out of her bed and walked to the couch, Jarvis turning on a light-night as it detected Natasha walking.

 

Bending down beside the couch, Natasha couldn't stop herself from grinning as her eyes fell on Carol's features. She was so adorable when she was asleep, Natasha wanted to kiss every ounce of her cheeks and forehead. And she didn't resist the urge to do so. Lightly stroking her hair, Natasha leaned in and pressed her lips on Carol's forehead, the touch gentle but enough to wake her up.

 

Carol frowned before rubbing her eyes, the redhead still crouching next to her with her fingers in her blonde hair, "Hey," she whispered as Carol sat up.

 

"You okay, baby?"

 

This nickname, so common yet so appreciated by the spy. Carol started to call her like that a few weeks ago, at first shyly, but as she saw that Natasha didn't mind, she kept on calling her that way, and it softened Natasha's heart even more every time.

 

Natasha sat on the couch, facing Carol, "I had a nightmare," she muttered, looking down at her hands fidgeting with Carol's top, "Kinda had a panic attack, too," she confessed, even if she knew it would make Carol feel bad about not having been there to help her.

 

To her surprise, Carol didn't say anything about it, but she could read it in her eyes, she felt guilty and sorry and worried. She just pulled her into her arms and held her like Natasha loved to be held, not too tight so she didn't feel oppressed and could breathe correctly but they were still so close that Natasha felt Carol all over her body.

 

"How you feelin' now?" Carol asked before giving Natasha's temple a long kiss.

 

The spy didn't answer right away, she didn't really know how she was feeling and she didn't want to lie. They didn't lie to each other, not anymore, not since that mission.

 

"I don't know…" she eventually said, "I'm just very tired, you know…"

 

"I know, baby," Carol whispered as she pulled Natasha in her arms again.

 

If she could, Natasha would stay there with Carol forever. It was just them, loving and taking care of each other, or rather Carol taking care of Natasha and the redhead doing her best to be half as good to Carol as she was to her.

 

"Come with me," Carol suddenly said and stood up, pulling Natasha by the hand.

 

Natasha quickly let go of Carol's hand and watched the other woman running inside the bathroom. She followed her from afar before sitting at the edge of the bed, wondering what she was going to take and bring to her.

 

A minute later, Carol's head stuck out of the door, "Take these off," she ordered, pointing at Natasha's clothes.

 

At first, Natasha thought she misheard her, but the blonde kept glaring at her clothes. Sceptically, Natasha stood up and licked her lips, "You know, if you want to see me naked you'll-"

 

"You wanna be dressed in a bath?" Carol cut her off, "that's your choice, but it's kinda weird," she added with a shrug.

 

"Carol, it's 4.30 and I'm very tired," Natasha pointed out.

 

Carol walked out of the bathroom and joined Natasha at the bed. As she reached her level, she took her hands and gently pulled her forward, "Do you trust me?" she asked softly, the corner of her lips curved into a smile.

 

Natasha stopped but kept Carol's hands in hers, "You know I do," she whispered as she took a step forward to kiss Carol's lips.

 

As they pulled away, Natasha caught the smirk on Carol's face but she couldn't talk before the blonde did, "Then take your clothes off and get your ass in the bathroom."

 

Again, Carol ran inside the bathroom, giggling like a little girl, and Natasha could tell that she would already be in the bathtub when she'd make it inside.

 

And she was very much right. Carol was in the water, her bare body partially concealed by bubbles.

 

Natasha didn't understand how someone could be so happy about taking a bath at this time of the night but it was Carol, this woman was like no one else, and that was why Natasha loved her.

 

But even if she saw Carol's happiness radiating, Natasha was still not very enthusiastic by the idea, and Carol knew it, "Come on, it'll make you feel better," she told her as she tied her hair in a messy bun.

 

"Don't know about that," Natasha muttered to herself as she took her tank top off.

 

It was hard to miss Carol's gaze on her as she undressed, the other woman wasn't trying to hide, and for some reason it didn't make her feel uncomfortable to know that a pair of eyes was looking at her. Usually, Natasha hated when someone could see a part of her body that she didn't want to show, whether it was a man or a woman, a stranger or a friend. She wanted to be in control of who could see her and what they could see, but she didn't mind Carol seeing her naked at four in the morning.

 

All her clothes finally taken off, Natasha entered the bath and sat in between Carol's legs, the other woman wrapping an arm around her shoulders to pull her against her chest.

 

The bathtub was so big that they fitted easily in it. After a few second of adjusting, Natasha found the right position and let herself relax against Carol's body, the latter now holding her with both her arms. It was actually really nice to be there, just her and Carol, being in the blonde's arms with nothing but the few noises of water filling the air.

 

After a soft kiss on Natasha's temple, Carol broke the silence, "Wanna talk about your nightmare?"

 

Natasha sighed, she didn't want to think about it. She had the same dreams, a pattern that repeated itself every few weeks. It was already there for half of her day, she didn't want to give it more importance when she was awake, "It's the same old shit, you've heard about it more than you could count."

 

Carol kissed Natasha's shoulder, "Okay."

 

"But talk to me please…" Natasha said suddenly, trying to look behind her to see her lover's face, "about anything, really. I wanna get them out of my mind."

 

Carol nodded before slightly sitting up. Talking was something she could do, they both knew it, but she needed to be in the right conditions to do so, and she had to find the right story.

 

It took her a couple of minutes until she finally began a story telling about how she and her friend Soren loved to prank Soren's husband Talos. Natasha had heard of them a few times, they were the only people from space that Carol liked, the Skrulls. They were one of the reasons she discovered she was actually human after spending six years with the Kree, they were one of the reasons Carol was now here in this very bathtub with Natasha.

 

Carol's stories all felt like they were taken from sci-fi movies, but there was always one detail that she could not make up, one detail that reminded Natasha that all of this was real, that Carol could fly around the galaxies, meet extra-terrestrial civilisations, see other unimaginable landscapes on foreign planets. But every time, Carol said that Earth was her favourite place, that despite the people that were quite intolerant, some were decent, and other, well, a few people were worth the effort.

 

Natasha loved how she said it, it was a smart way to tell her that she would do anything for her, even if Natasha knew wasn't the only person worth Carol's time.

 

Maria and Monica were too, but she had not heard of them for a while. Carol didn't talk about them, since that day in Louisiana when she told Natasha that Maria said she should let them go and live her life with the Avengers. The redhead didn't know if Carol was still talking to her best friend, she hadn't heard her call Maria nor saw her sending any text and didn't feel like asking. If, like she supposed, they were not talking, it would just hurt the blonde to think about her best friend, and if they were, she would tell Natasha one day.

 

Between her thoughts and Carol's stories, Natasha didn't notice how fast the time passed until Carol stepped out of the bathtub, "We should go back to bed," she said as she put on a bath robe.

 

Natasha stayed in the now-tepid water, thinking about their options as she looked at the time, "Carol, it's almost 6 AM, we might as well get up and work," she concluded.

 

Carol laughed quietly, she didn't seem to agree, "Everything we are working on is at a standstill, which means we can go back to bed and get more rest, and then breakfast in bed maybe?" she finished her sentence with a smirk, well aware that breakfast in bed was Natasha's weak point.

 

Natasha shook her head as she chuckled, Carol really knew her perfectly, she knew what to say to please her, "When you say it like that I really wanna get back there."

 

"Then come with me," Carol told her as she took Natasha's dressing gown and waited for her to put it on.

 

Hair still wet, Natasha went back to bed, Carol with her this time, and, soothed by the presence of the blonde, fell asleep so quickly that she barely remembered getting to bed when she woke up later in the morning. She got her breakfast in bed as promised, scrambled egg, bacon, yoghurt and tea, and they spent most of the rest of the morning in bed, getting up only because they had to make an appearance to show their friends they were alive.

 

Then, they went to work, even if they didn't have a lot to do, but staying busy was really helping Natasha forgetting about the Red Room still recruiting girls and chasing her.

Chapter 23: A low

Notes:

tw mention of suicide and self harm, drinking
There is no way to skip it, it’s just mentions of it, not descriptions but I rather put the warning in case one needs it

I listened to Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift while writing this chapter and I think it's the right song for the whole atmosphere of it so you might want to listen to it too while reading:
https://open.spotify.com/track/0z9UVN8VBHJ9HdfYsOuuNf?si=mPiFqltsTzGCNhtcyuHOiw

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Today was going to be an amazing day that Carol would spend, for the majority of it, with Tony.

 

The previous day, while she was eating dinner with Natasha and Maria, the Iron Man came to her and said that he would need her for a thing. She didn't get any more informations from him, nor from the other women around the table who had no idea what it was about.

 

It couldn't be a birthday present, Carol's had been a few months ago, therefore she really didn't know what to expect from it but she was excited by the unknown that this day was keeping.

 

And, oh could she have been more right about it, and wrong at the same time.

 

This morning when she woke up in Natasha's room, she did her best not to awake her, but it was like the redhead could feel even the smallest movement and she opened her sleepy eyes the second Carol got out of bed. Carol apologised for disturbing her sleep with a kiss on her forehead and told her to go back to sleep before getting out of the room.

 

Since Tony didn't tell her where they would meet but only when, Carol went to the kitchen to make herself some tea and was surprised by the man she was waiting for, "Is that for you or for Romanoff?"

 

Carol looked back at him, misunderstanding filling her eyes. And then she thought, did Pepper told him about her and Natasha? Did he know they were dating?

 

"What?" she eventually muttered.

 

"I mean, you guys are like besties, right," he began as he walked in her direction, stopping at her level, "so I thought you would bring her tea before coming with me, since she loves tea."

 

Right, besties, was what Carol thought first, besties was definitely not it, "It's for me actually. We talked late last night, she is probably still in bed."

 

The truth was that she knew Natasha was still in bed but saying that would basically be like telling him they were dating.

 

"Okay then, if you have nobody to supply in tea, we can go."

 

Carol nodded and followed him as he walked to the elevator. She expected them to go down, but Tony surprised her by pressing the up button, to the last floor, that led to the roof. She had never been there, not that there was anything to see from what she heard of it, but she supposed the view was nice.

 

As they reached the end of their ride, Tony put his sunglasses on, odd considering that the sun had barely rose yet. But when he spoke up and it wasn't to Carol, she remembered that he could control his suit via his sunglasses, that were a more complicated device than normal ones.

 

"So, Captain. We've been working together for a few months, right? And during those months I couldn't stop but notice this old suit of yours," he enunciated and Carol's suit on a mannequin appeared from the floor behind him.

 

"How did you-"

 

"It's a nice suit, I'll be honest, but I think you deserve better."

 

If she wasn't so intrigued by how he got a hold of her suit that was in her bedroom, Carol would have figured out what was about to happen.

 

"So I thought, 'Tony, you have to help your Captain out and make something better. Use all those sleepless nights not only for yourself, but also for others', and I made this."

 

It was surely Carols most embarrassing scream of joy that came out of her mouth, but they were alone on the roof so she didn't care. Tony made her a brand new suit, with colours similar as the ones she chose so many years ago with Monica, with a slightly different shaped star, but the differences didn't matter, it was the coolest thing Carol had seen. On the shoulders were small 'A's, for the Avengers and the helmet seemed lighter. She inspected it from every angles, discovering more and more details that made her grin bigger each time.

 

"There are a few things I still have to work on, like your system to breathe under water but for that I needed your suit to work from it and Pepper only got it from your room yesterday."

 

Carol rolled her eyes, "You had your girlfriend stealing my suit from my room, I'm impressed."

 

"I figured you'd rather have Pepper sneaking in your room than me," he argued.

 

"Well, true."

 

"Right, so now do you want to get out there and try it?"

 

Carol didn't even bother to reply, she just took the suit off the mannequin and put it on above her yoga pants and tank top. Meanwhile, Tony discussed with Jarvis to get his own suit so they would go fly together, but somehow the conversation lasted so long that Carol was done before them.

 

"A problem with your bot?"

 

Tony shook his head, "Nope, it's fine."

 

"Man, it seemed like you were fighting with it."

 

"Well, you'll soon understand why because I equipped your suit of Jarvis."

 

"Hello, Miss Danvers!" said the AI in her earpiece.

 

"Morning Jarvis," she greeted as she walked to the edge of the building, "I feel like this day is gonna be good, what do you think?" she asked and jumped into the void.

 

"The weather isn't saying otherwise."

 

They spent most of the day flying around New York together, only taking a quick break to eat lunch and even that they did on the roof to be closer to go back in the air. Carol tried all the options of her new suit, the one that were already in her old Kree one, and others that Tony added, like the AI Jarvis or a system that would detect her injuries. For that one, Tony had to blast her while she was not in her binary form for it to hurt her, and she barely felt it, as the program detected she wouldn't even have a bruise for it.

 

Only late after dinner time, they went back inside and took their suits off, Tony taking Carol's back to work on the last few functionalities that he hadn't added yet. Before she left, he also told her that he had been working on a suit for Natasha but she had to keep it a secret because it would be her birthday present.

 

Carol went back down stairs, super excited to tell Natasha about this day – except the birthday present thing – and was also dying to know what her girlfriend did during her day since she hadn't heard of her.

 

She entered Natasha's room with the biggest smile on her face and glimpsed the body of the redhead on her bed, "Hey! What have you been doing all day?" she asked joyfully as she stepped further into the room.

 

But her smile quickly disappeared, and she didn't need an answer, the three empty bottles of wine and the fourth that was started on in Natasha's hand were saying plenty. Natasha barely acknowledge her presence, she didn't look alive at all, the only thing she was doing was taking an automatically sip straight from the bottle every few seconds, and even for that she was struggling.

 

"Okay. I think you've had enough for today," Carol told her as she took the bottle from Natasha's hand, the latter too drunk to catch her and get the bottle back.

 

Natasha groaned but Carol ignored it, she wasn't going to let her girlfriend get wasted, whatever was the reason why she decided to stay in her room and drink for the entire day. She put the bottle away before going back to Natasha to see how bad it was.

 

The redhead was sitting on her bed, arm crossed and pouting like a child. She seemed okay at first but when Carol asked her to get up to take a shower Natasha almost fell off the bed as she sat on the edge of the mattress and she didn't manage to stand up.

 

"Christ, the state of you," Carol mumbled as she helped Natasha on her feet, almost supporting her whole weight for them to get to the bathroom, "I can't spend a day on my own I guess," she said to herself but the redhead was still listening and took it badly.

 

"I never asked you to take care of me, you can just go."

 

Carol wanted to snap at her, but it was Natasha, she couldn't, she didn't deserve that, "Next time you feel so bad that you wanna get drunk, tell me and I'll cancel my thing."

 

Natasha was in the bathtub, fully clothed but at least she made it without an incident. She rubbed her forehead as Carol tried to take her clothes off, but she didn't let her, "I didn't want to get drunk I wanted to die…" she muttered, and Carol thought that she misheard her, "but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't let me do that either."

 

"Say-say that again," Carol stammered, this time hoping she heard her wrong.

 

Natasha clenched her jaw before glaring at Carol's saddened eyes, "You've heard what I said," she affirmed, crossing her arms again to prevent Carol from taking her t-shirt off.

 

"And since when is that a thing?" she asked and opened the tap, knowing that Natasha would get her clothes off by herself if the water was threatening to wet them.

 

And she did, not without an annoyed sigh but at least she was naked and Carol could wash her. She was upset, Carol could tell, but it wasn't only because she was forced to shower, there was something else. As Natasha tucked her knees under her chin, Carol decided that the talk could wait until the end of the shower, especially because the redhead would be more relaxed after it.

 

With the shower head, Carol poured hot water on Natasha's red hair to wash it first. Natasha didn't move, she was staring at the water running from the tap and had probably forgotten the question Carol asked her.

 

When her hair was clean, Carol thought her girlfriend might enjoy a massage. She sat on the ledge of the bathtub and, from that weird angle, rubbed Natasha's hairline, temple and scalp. Natasha quickly expressed how she liked it, by a satisfied long hum first that turned into discreet moans. After five minutes and a groan from Natasha when she stopped, Carol started rubbing her shoulders and it earned her the same noises of pleasure. She finished the massage with a kiss on top of Natasha's head and even got a whispered thank you.

 

The water had reached Natasha's lower back so Carol cut the flow from the tap and took the shower gel. There was now just Natasha's body that was left to be washed, but she didn't seem to want to move a bit to make it easier to Carol, so she washed the part of her girlfriend's body she had access to. After taking the hairband Natasha had on her right wrist, Carol tied her hair up and proceeded to wash her back and arms.

 

When she was done, she looked at Natasha with an eyebrow raised, wordlessly asking her to help her out. But the redhead really wasn't in the mood and didn't move a slight bit, therefore Carol just gave her the shower gel and groaned, "Do it yourself then."

 

She left the bathroom out of frustration after a few more seconds of Natasha acting like she was lifeless. There was nothing Carol could think of that would help. It was the first time she saw Natasha drunk like this, sad drunk. She had seen her drunk a few times back in Washington, but she was happy and perky, not depressed and… well, suicidal.

 

Since they met, Natasha had always been in a bad place, some times she was doing better but it never lasted long. But that, tonight, it was the lowest she had been in the two and a half years they've known each other. Natasha never thought about taking her life, or she never told Carol, but either way the fact that she did tell her had it mean she was really suffering inside and the blonde had a hard time thinking about her girlfriend in such a bad psychological state without feeling a sharp pain in her heart.

 

She didn't get more time to think about it as she heard the water running again in the bathroom. They would talk about all this soon, but for now Carol had to check on Natasha's drunken ass.

 

Expecting to see Natasha standing in the bathtub, Carol laughed when she saw her laying on her back with the shower head in her hand to clean herself from the soap, "Can't get up, huh?"

 

Natasha pouted as Carol laughed more and turned off the water. When the bathtub was emptied, Natasha sat up and Carol took her bath robe, "Can you sit up there?" Carol asked as she tapped the ledge of the tub and Natasha proceeded and succeeded, with some struggle, to sit there. Carol helped her to put the robe before taking a towel for her hair, "You're hair is so long, Natasha, I love it."

 

"Well, don't get too attached because I'm thinking about cutting it short again."

 

"Love it short too," Carol said before blowing a raspberry at Natasha's face, who gently pushed her away with annoyance.

 

Laughing a little more, Carol sat beside Natasha and leaned in to kiss her cheek. She thought Natasha would try – and fail – to avoid the gesture, but she didn't and even returned it.

 

"Let's get you to bed, yeah?"

 

Natasha barely nodded, but Carol knew that if she did, her head would spin and she would surely throw up considering how much wine she drank. Carrying her in her arms wasn't a good idea either, the change of altitude and centre of gravity would have the same effect and fucked up Natasha's brain. Therefore Carol helped her to stand up and wrapped her arm around her waist to support her as she slowly exited the bathroom and walked to her bed.

 

The redhead sat down the second they reached the bed and took the first pieces of clothing that had been thrown there and put them on. Carol went to her side of the bed and observed her girlfriend as she whimpered and grunted while getting into her pyjamas. She had already done enough and knew that helping Natasha more would make her grumpier, which was not good considering what they still had to talk about.

 

After a few minutes, Natasha managed to get dressed and joined Carol on the bed, crawling like a baby. Finally at reach, Carol pulled her closer and held her against her side, Natasha quickly relaxing and closing her eyes. As much trying to reassure herself than the redhead, Carol left a trail of kisses on her forehead and cheek until she looked up at her.

 

It was the moment to ask, but it was hard, and Carol attempted three times to speak before words finally came out of her mouth, "Baby, tell me what happened, please. I need to understand."

 

Natasha instantly broke the eye contact, as if she felt guilty for the way she acted during the afternoon and evening, "After you left this morning I went back to bed and I had the worst nightmare I ever had. They…" she cleared her throat but her voice still got hoarser, "they found me and-and you, and all the people I care about and just-"

 

She didn't manage to finish her sentence, but Carol understood what happened next, and it hurt, "So when I woke up I had no strength at all. I just went to the kitchen, took all the bottles of wine I could find and got back here."

 

It explained her down, but Carol still had the 'I wanted to die' part echoing in her head and couldn't understand when her girlfriend got that low, "But… you-you said you wanted to die, Natasha."

 

The guilt in the dark green eyes grew bigger, and her sadness was highlighted in the corner of her lips, that Carol had never seen being so down, "I know," she began in a whisper and sat up, "I didn't really mean it, I'm just so fucking tired and I want it to stop…"

 

"But you did think about it?" Carol said, her throat so twisted by the idea that it sounded like she chocked.

 

"For an hour or so… I did, yes."

 

It was not what Carol wanted to hear, who would want to hear that their girlfriend had suicidal thoughts? Her heart ached more, it had never hurt that much before, even when she had been heartbroken by someone she loved. She was heartbroken, in a way. Not because Natasha hurt her, but because she was thinking about hurting herself.

 

Eyes closed, jaw clenched, Carol sucked in deep breaths, but it was getting harder and harder to breathe. She had to open her eyes again, to look at the woman she loved and focus on her, on her beautiful eyes and her soft as silk skin.

 

When she did, she found Natasha gasping, and as she ran her thumbs on her cheeks, Carol noticed that tears were falling from her eyes.

 

"Carol, why are you crying?" The redhead asked, tears forming in her own eyes as she pressed her forehead against Carol.

 

"Sorry. I just don't want you to be sad to the point that you want to… kill yourself," she cried, the end of her sentence mixed with a sob.

 

"Aw, baby, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said it like that."

 

In any other circumstances, Carol would have commented on Natasha's use of the 'baby' pet name, but she was too emotional to talk. Now she just fell into Natasha's arms and cried a bit more, the smaller woman rocking her, stroking her back and whispering apologies in her ear. Carol never knew that the idea of losing Natasha would pain her so much, but her love for her was so deep and strong that it wasn't a surprise.

 

Pulling back, Carol pressed their forehead together, her eyes still closed as Natasha traced the line of her jaw with her thumb, gesture that she knew calmed the blonde. When she decided to look at the love of her life again, she saw her lips and couldn't resist the urge to lean in and kissed her.

 

Tongues quickly made their ways into the kiss but before Natasha could make her usual move and straddle Carol's lap, the latter pulled away. With her hand on the back of Natasha's neck, Carol pulled them closer again, the tip of their noses crashing with one another.

 

"I need you, you know," she said in a soft whisper, "I need you in my life, in every goddamn second of it. And if you are not with me then I need to know that you are okay."

 

Natasha nodded before kissing Carol's nose, her lips brushing her skin so lightly that she barely felt it.

 

"I'm gonna ask Sam to come to New York and we'll try this support group thing, okay? And we'll make it a regular thing."

 

"Okay."

 

It wasn't the idea Natasha like the most, but it helped so many people that they had to try it out. And they were doing it with people she trusted, people who had issues similar as hers and who could share their experiences on how they dealt with it.

 

With what happened in the evening, Carol realised she needed it too. She had always been scared of losing the people she loved because of her absence, she couldn't stop that, but she could learn how to deal with the guilt.

 

They held onto each other for long minutes, in a mere silence very needed, nothing but the sound of their still breaths in the air. The only thought in Carol's head was Natasha. She pictured her smiling, laughing, living.

 

She remembered that one time when they were alone in the tower and went to the living area to dance, the music so loud that they couldn't hear their own voices when they sang the lyrics. They listened to every style of music, tried different type of dances and finished slow dancing on Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift. For them, it was as much of a love song as it was a war song. It was their relationship, the way they wanted, had, to protect each other from all the bad outside, to prevent the other from getting hurt. They loved each other so much that it was their mission to make their lover feel safe, it should always be the case in a relationship. But it was a war song, the war they were leading against all these things they feared, all the things that made them suffer. But when they were together, they were stronger than those things, they had to or the bad would win.

 

Tonight, Carol thought she was going to lose, she thought the bad took the love of her life away and would not give her back. But Natasha was still holding on, she gave in the bad for a moment and came back, and now Carol's only goal was to never see Natasha going back to this awful, twisted place that was trying to take her away for good.

 

"You saved me, you know."

 

Carol slowly pulled out of the hug, tucking Natasha's hair behind her ear as the other woman sat up.

 

"This morning, I was… drinking and-and trying to find a way to…" she stopped for a moment, the next word stuck in her throat. Carol took her hand and brought it to her mouth, a silent way to tell her that she understood what she wanted to say, as much as she hated getting it so easily, "and- I don't know, I just happened to touch my neck and I-I felt it," with her free hand, she pulled the chain from under her shirt, "I saw it and thought that I couldn't… shit."

 

Carol put her hand on Natasha's, supporting her as her shaking limb took the half destroyed dog tag. She looked at her girlfriend with a soft smile and kissed her forehead as she closed her eyes and inhaled deep breaths.

 

"I couldn't- I can't leave you. I want to be with you, I want to get better for you."

 

"You will. I'll make sure of that."

 

Natasha pressed her lips together, trying to hold back her emotions but when Carol hugged her again, she let everything go, the sadness, the exhaustion, the pressure. Carol could feel Natasha's tears soaking her shirt but she couldn't care less about that, all that mattered was Natasha and she needed to cry, she needed Carol to be there with her while she was vulnerable, she needed her to protect her until she would get better.

 

"I'm so tired, Carol," Natasha cried against her chest, as if it was one of her powers to make people sleep by snapping her fingers.

 

"I know. We gonna go to bed," she told her, laying further on the bed until realising something, "did you eat anything today?"

 

The redhead weakly shook her head and gripped Carol's shirt, "I'm not hungry."

 

"But you gotta eat something baby," Carol said gently as she lifted Natasha's chin, the redhead pleading her with her eyes full of tears to stay with her, "Tell me, what do you want?"

 

Natasha snorted, if there was one way to make her accept to eat it was by cooking her what she wanted, "Pasta?"

 

Carol smiled, "Spaghetti bolognese?"

 

Nodding her head in agreement, Natasha tightened her hold around Carol's waist, "But be quick."

 

Carol smirked, "Why don't you come with me and we'll get back here to eat?"

 

Natasha getting out of bed told the blonde that she was coming. Her first steps were hesitant, she was still very drunk and the help of Carol was definitely not too much. In the elevator, she pulled the redhead against her chest for a quick hug, and when she saw that the floor was empty – which was not surprising since it was almost eleven – Carol pulled Natasha by the hand and entered the kitchen.

 

As Carol took all the utensil and ingredient she needed, Natasha sat on the counter opposite to where she was cooking and observed her. Carol was amused by it, it was as if Natasha was judging her when she was the worst cook ever, the only food she ever got to Carol being take-outs and snacks. But Carol didn't care, it wasn't Natasha's cooking skills that would change the way she felt about her.

 

Every now and then, she looked back at her and smiled, until she was done and just had to wait for the spaghetti and bolognese to cook. She joined Natasha and stood in front of her, "it'll be ready soon," she told her sleepy girlfriend who weakly smiled back at her as she rubbed her eyes.

 

Carol couldn't believe this adorable human being was her girlfriend, she was cuter than all those puppies and kittens she saw on the internet when she was bored that one afternoon. Natasha was Carol's soft spot, they both knew it, and Natasha some times used it at her advantage, but Carol never really mind, it was just little things.

 

And right now, drunk and tired Natasha was cute and she was using it to get a hug, extending her hands towards Carol and whining, "You are such a baby," the blonde said as she took a step forward, but still not giving in, "I know," Natasha complained as she pouted, "please."

 

Carol rolled her eyes but gave Natasha what she wanted, her head against Carol's chest and her arms gently holding her. Natasha expressed her satisfaction with a long hum and closed her eyes, fully enjoying Carol's fingertips tracing lines on the back of her neck. The way Natasha instantly relaxed, her features softening when Carol put her arms around her body, these were proof enough that she was making her feel better.

 

"I need to go back stirring or the whole thing will burn."

 

With a sigh, Natasha sat up and sighed again as Carol walked back to the gas stove. The blonde had done the right thing by checking on the food because a minute later the bolognese would have been uneatable. With a wooden spoon, she stirred the bolognese, thinking about nothing until a shy hand found hers.

 

Tilting her head to the side, she saw the redhead beside her, her other hand taking a hold of Carol's, "You don't need two hands to stir," she said with a teasing smirk before resting her chin on Carol's shoulder. Carol let out a scoff before getting her attention back to the food she was cooking.

 

The bolognese was ready and the spaghetti needed only a few more minutes, minutes that Natasha spent at Carol's side, her two hands holding her free one, stroking her thumb on her knuckle.

 

When it was all done, Carol mixed both preparations together in a large bowl and they went back to Natasha's room, their hands still intertwined.

 

They settled on the bed, Natasha laying on her belly, her head right in front of the bowl while Carol was sitting cross-legged opposite to her. Carol realised as she handed a fork to Natasha that she only took one, and she was too lazy to go back upstairs and get another one for herself, therefore they were going to share.

 

Better than that, Natasha was feeding her, giving her mouthfuls of spaghetti way too big for her to swallow, but the way it made her laugh was all worth it.

 

"We are like the Lady and the Tramp," Natasha said before giving Carol some more food.

 

Carol almost spat out the spaghetti as she burst into laughters, imagining them in the same situation, eating on the same pasta, "Yeah, but I don't need that to kiss you, I can just do it."

 

"Yeah?" Natasha smirked as she leaned a little closer.

 

Carol nodded as she did the same, "Yeah," she whispered against Natasha's lips before capturing them.

 

"Seems like you can," Natasha concluded as they parted but went back for another quick kiss.

 

The feeling of Natasha's smile on her lips made Carol chuckled, she loved it, knowing that she could make Natasha smile like this.

 

"Alright, let's get ready for bed."

 

Getting the bowl and fork back to the kitchen could wait until morning, so Carol just put it on the coffee table and joined Natasha in the bathroom to brush her teeth.

 

They both had two toothbrushes, one in their bathroom and another in the other's, that way they didn't have to go get it every time they changed the room where they slept. Natasha was already brushing her teeth and had Carol's toothbrush ready. The blonde thanked her with a smile as she took it and wrapped her free arm around Natasha's shoulders.

 

She already seemed better, not good yet, but she was okay, which was a win considering everything that happened within a few hours.

 

Making their way to the bed, Natasha shared her concerns with her girlfriend, "I hope I'm gonna be able to sleep properly."

 

Carol sat on her side of the bed, "We should get you to a doctor," she suggested as Natasha sat beside her, seemingly not against the idea so she continued, "Maybe they could give you something that'd help."

 

"Okay but I don't want anything too strong that I could get addicted to."

 

"Noted. You can only be addicted to me."

 

They both chuckled as Carol laid down, Natasha not denying her addiction for the blonde. Adjusting her position as she rested her head on Carol's shoulder, Natasha whispered, "Sorry for all the trouble."

 

It wasn't the trouble that Carol cared about, she could handle trouble, it was her thing, "Maria always say I bring trouble," she chuckled as she ran her finger in the red locks, feeling the smaller woman relaxing against her body.

 

"Actually I think you are the trouble," Natasha mumbled as she fought with herself to keep her eyes opened, and their greenness disappeared before she could finish her sentence, "but I love it."

 

Carol slightly frowned as she realised what words Natasha just said. She basically told her that she loved her, in her own complex way, but she did. At that instant, it occurred to Carol that she never said it, she never told Natasha that she loved her, that she was in love with her and that nothing could ever change it.

 

She must tell her. But Natasha fell asleep.

 

She would tell her.

Notes:

I really wanna know what you thought of this chapter, on both Natasha and Carol's reaction.

It was a really hard one to write but it had to happen, Natasha reaching her limits and wanting to end everything.

Chapter 24: Support group

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Finding the motivation to wake up on this Saturday morning was harder than it should be for Natasha. Yes, this day was going to be challenging, but she had known worse, really worse, so she forced herself to roll on her back to notify Carol that she was awake.

 

As usual, the Captain was already awake, reading the news of the night on her phone, "Mornin' beautiful," she greeted when Natasha's eyes fell on her.

 

A first groan came out of her throat, she didn't like to be called beautiful. Carol telling her she was beautiful was fine, but using it as a nickname not appreciated at all.

 

Then she loudly whimpered when Carol's screen turned completely white, which hurt Natasha's still sleepy and sore eyes. She rolled on her belly, bumping against Carol's side, and buried her face in her pillow. Carol giggled beside her, the mornings were often hard for Natasha, especially when they didn't have anything to work on, and the blonde knew that very well. She continued mocking her girlfriend as she groaned more before gently stroking her fingers in her hair.

 

"Sam's flight is late, he won't make it for lunch."

 

That was probably one of the best news Natasha could get, the best being that Sam's flight was cancelled and that he wouldn't make it at all. But he was late, meaning she could linger in bed for a little while.

 

Carol's fingers still in her hair, Natasha allowed herself to relax, which was very much needed considering what was ahead.

 

They were finally doing the support group thing, as Natasha called it. Since that day, that Natasha remembered only partly – she only remembered that her girlfriend had been the best to her, but not the specific moment or talks – Carol had done everything in her power to make it happen. Sam was coming from Washington just for that, and Tony had to reschedule a thing because it was the day he had the least things to do. Maria, Carol and Natasha were pretty much available everyday, they still had bad guys to catch and a Red Room that was or was not back, but they had not much to no intel on these cases.

 

Natasha was still not very enthusiastic about it, she wasn't sure she would feel comfortable to share her past, and didn't even know where to start. But Carol was convinced it would help her therefore they were doing it, because hearing the hell they went through and how they came back strong from it was the best motivation, she said.

 

"Would you like breakfast in bed," Carol offered when Natasha was slowly dozing back to sleep.

 

She groaned, again, which was not an answer at all but Carol took it as a no and got out of bed.

 

"No wait!" Natasha exclaimed, too loud for her recently awakened ears, "stay please."

 

Natasha heard a scoff, but Carol was coming back to bed so she didn't mind the mocking and teasing.

 

"You know you are the babiest almost-thirty years old of the entire universe, right?"

 

"A fifty-five years old who looks thirty told me that once, but I ain't sure I can believe her, she might be in love with me," Natasha replied to the compliment as she leaned on her elbow, looking at Carol laying flat on her back beside her.

 

"Should I be jealous?" the blonde asked as she closed the gap between them, their lips only centimetres away, "because I'd fight to have you."

 

As tempting as it was to just give in and kiss Carol, Natasha continued this little flirtatious game, "Please, fight for me, baby," she whispered as she pushed Carol on the mattress and straddled her lap, "send them to space and then come back to get your price."

 

Before she could do it herself, Carol captured her lips for a deep kiss. Their tongue quickly met, and with them soft moans came from both women, Natasha dominated despite her position advantage. But it wasn't only Carol's lips and tongue that she craved, it was also her hands running all over her back and hips and ass that she enjoyed so much. The redhead wasn't into sex that much, but Carol had a way to touch her body that always made her flush, and a few times turned her on.

 

This morning though, she didn't let her lead, she wanted to be the one in control and broke the kiss. Their gazes met, and for a second Carol was confused, but Natasha quickly dove in her neck and made her understand that everything was good. She kissed her throat and went down to her chest, then back to the side, leaving open-mouthed kisses on her collarbone. When she climbed up Carol's jugular, the woman under her tightened her grip on Natasha's hips before rocking her own against nothing.

 

"Natasha-" she moaned as her torturer reached her final point, her ear. There was nothing Natasha enjoyed more than teasing Carol by nibbling her ear and kissing that spot under it, on her jaw.

 

"It's not fair," Carol complained, her hands slowly reaching the middle of Natasha's back, "you know it turns me on."

 

She did know, that was why it was always her final destination when she was on top and in control, it was the end of their making out session, or at least in marked a break.

 

For her own pleasure, she stole one last kiss before laying down beside Carol, head on her chest as usual.

 

"That was revenge for you calling me beautiful."

 

Carol gasped, "But you are!"

 

"And you are easy to turn on."

 

" What can I say," Carol shrugged, "you are also sexy."

 

Natasha was glad they were in the dark, because every time Carol called her sexy she would blush. She knew how to deal with the gorgeous and stunning and the casual beautiful, but sexy was still one compliment she didn't know how to take. She didn't want to be seen as sexy, she was a lot of things but she didn't want the world that she was exposed to by her avenging job to think she was sexy. Badass was more than fine, beautiful could pass, depending on who said it, but sexy was something she wanted to keep for her girlfriend, and even coming from her she was still not a hundred percent comfortable.

 

"You know what Tony said the other day?" Carol suddenly spoke up. Natasha shook her head no thus she continued, "he said we were 'besties'," she added and air quoted the owner of the tower.

 

Natasha looked back at her girlfriend, confused, and then snorted when she realised she was serious, Tony did call them that, "I was like, do besties kiss?"

 

"Do besties fuck?" Natasha added with a smirk as she leaned over Carol who chuckled, "yeah, that too."

 

It happened one time after Natasha had this breakdown, and it was all Carol's fault. She had been out with Tony again, testing her suit that was now fully functional, and went to the gym for her daily session. She went back to her room and found Natasha on her bed, nothing out of the ordinary, but as she got closer the redhead noticed her sweaty state and sharp abs and that was enough for her to stop Carol from going to the shower. She didn't see the sex coming though, at first she just wanted a heated making out session, but the build up of it led to Natasha letting down her metal block. Carol was attentive and patient, Natasha trusting, and it just happened, slowly, gently, lovingly. They didn't know if it would be a one time thing or not, but it really didn't matter; it was more an expression of how much the trust and love each other than something they had to do to be happy and blooming in their relationship.

 

"We should go get breakfast," Natasha told Carol and kissed her lips.

 

The kitchen was empty, the few people living in the tower had already eaten and were attending to their businesses, which gave the couple the opportunity to be a couple outside of their rooms. They got used to hide, it became easy and some times fun to steal glances and hold hands while the others were not looking, but it was always nicer when they could be themselves entirely and hug each other or kiss in the common areas of the tower.

 

As always, Carol made breakfast and Natasha was her assistant, giving her what she asked for from the fridge and cup board and the rest of the time she was hugging Carol from behind, slowly rocking from side to side.

 

"You two are my favourite couple," a masculine voice said.

 

Both Carol and Natasha jumped in surprise before turning their heads in direction of the voice.

 

"You don't look glad to see me. Should I go back?"

 

"Sam!" Carol exclaimed as she walked to greet him with a warm embrace, "I thought you wouldn't make it before lunch!"

 

They broke apart and he shrugged, "You know me, I found a way."

 

"Wow! It's so good to see you, man. How have you been?"

 

Sam gave Natasha a quick hug before answering, "Well, busy I guess. My Captain ordered me to find a ghost."

 

They all lightly laughed even though they knew the importance of the subject, "And how is that going?" Natasha asked before taking a sip of tea.

 

"Nowhere… like you considering your last update."

 

Carol pinched the bridge of her nose as she groaned, "Let's not talk about that. You want tea?"

 

"If there's enough for me, then yes!"

 

They all sat at the table, Carol and Natasha side by side while Sam was at the end of it.

 

"So, how you guys have been doing?"

 

"Well…" Natasha began in a stoic tone, looking down at her mug, "you know why you're here, so not very good."

 

Carol pulled Natasha against her side before rubbing her back to comfort her, "But we are willing to work on it so that's a good start."

 

Natasha glanced at Carol for a second, eyes filled with gratefulness and joy. It touched her so much that Carol talked about Natasha's problem as theirs, saying that they were working on it, not just Natasha. It meant everything to her that Carol was there for her, all the time, and she could only wish she gave her a quarter of what she received, because she knew it was not the case.

 

"I know you are reluctant about it Natasha, so was I on the first few times I went to the VA for a meeting, but I promise you it helps, a lot."

 

Natasha lightly nodded, it was not enough to convince her but at least she had people who supported her and she was thankful for that, "I'll try. But can we stop talking about it until we have to?" Carol and Sam both laughed and agreed to change the subject.

 

It quickly became loud in the kitchen as Carol and Sam told each other jokes and anecdotes they had not shared yet.

 

It was the first time Natasha was seeing these two together since they came back from East Europe and she was happy to see that they were even closer friends now. She knew the blonde was trying to let go of her best friend but it was a complicated task and to succeed she had to find people to fill the void that Maria Rambeau would leave on her. Sam was one of those people, he was a new person in Carol's life that she got along with easily and who understood her, two things that Maria was for her, but Natasha doubted he would be enough.

 

Even if they had known each other for a short time, Sam was the person – apart from Natasha – closer to Carol. The blonde had spent numerous evening with Clint and Maria but they didn't know her like Sam did. Maria was definitely closer to her than Clint, but the archer was already Natasha's best friend, he couldn't be the Captain's too. As for the other Avengers, Thor was barely there, Bruce was but always in his lab and Tony and Carol had such a weird relationship that Natasha couldn't tell if they were close, but they were good friends.

 

They stayed in the kitchen for the rest of the morning and were surprised by Maria joining for lunch. Carol and Natasha quickly put some distance between them, in case someone who didn't know about them entered the kitchen. Maria and Sam discussed like old friends as if they had been talking everyday since S.H.I.E.L.D collapsed when, in reality, Maria had asked Carol who was this Sam when she proposed her the support group idea.

 

And the moment of the support group was approaching, which stressed out the redhead, but she was able to hide it from Carol, who was too occupied with Sam and Maria to notice.

 

"I prefer gatherings when I'm included!" Tony made his entrance in the kitchen a box that surely contained doughnuts or some other way-too-sugary pastries.

 

"We were waiting for you, boss!" Maria told him as she stood up and walked with him in direction of the living area, Sam quickly following to introduce himself to the great Tony Stark.

 

Natasha remained seated at the table, glaring at her empty mug. She was not ready, really not ready, and the fact that she didn't know anything about what they would have to say or do didn't help. But Carol was there and she helped, a lot. Natasha felt a gentle hand reaching her back and pulling her towards the girl on her right.

 

"Let's get this done, okay? The sooner we start the sooner it's over."

 

Those weren't Carol's best reassuring words, but they somehow worked. With a sharp sigh, she got up and followed Carol who looked back at her with a smile that comforted Natasha more, that reminded her that Carol would always be by her side.

 

The other three members of the support group were already slouching on the couches when Carol and Natasha made it there, Sam with icing all around his lips and a second uneaten-yet doughnut in his hand.

 

Seeing Natasha and Carol arriving, he put the second sweet back in its box and took a napkin to clean his mouth as he stoop on his feet, "Right! Now that everybody's here, we can start."

 

They all went silent, waiting for Sam to say something more, especially Natasha who needed to know how the whole thing would go, she hated being in the dark. After the couple sat more comfortably on the same couch as Tony, Sam sat down and continued, "Before we get into it I just want to remind everybody here that what we say in this room stays between us. If you want to discuss something that was said here, you must do it with the people that were there, no one else outside of this circle can hear of it, are we clear?"

 

Natasha and Maria nodded while Carol and Tony replied with loud and clear yes.

 

"Great! Also, if someone asks to speak, we let them talk until they say they are finished, and we never, ever, mock someone's experience. We are there to support one another, to sympathise with what we've been through and help each other heal."

 

Again, they agreed with the conditions and let Sam speak, "Usually, when I start with a new group of people, we often go round the table and everybody introduce themselves, but since you all know each other, I'll be the only one doing."

 

Releasing a breath she didn't know she was holding, Natasha slightly relaxed on the back of the couch, she had a few minutes ahead of her where she knew she wouldn't have to talk.

 

"So, my name is Samuel Wilson, you can call me Sam. I'm thirty six years old, ex-air force para-rescue and now working at the VA in Washington." he paused as he leaned on his elbow and pressed his fingertips together, "I quit the military when my best friend died in combat."

 

Natasha was taken aback, she didn't expect it to go so quickly into the traumas, but there they were, "I couldn't keep fighting when the same fight that had taken the one person I cared about the most, so I left and now I help my fellow soldiers who've been through the same shit."

 

"If I may?" Tony said as he raised his pointing finger to get to speak and received a nod from Sam, "This is very honourable of you."

 

"Thank you. Now, I would like to hear from you," he pointed at Tony, "Tell us something about why you are here, why you accepted to take part of this group."

 

Tony sat up as he unbuttoned on spot of his shirt, seemingly surprised by the question, "Well, two years ago I save the whole planet but I almost… died… and I guess it kind of messed up my brain."

 

Natasha didn't know about this, she thought Tony had been doing great since New York, but evidently she was wrong. When Carol proposed Tony as one of the members of the support group, she didn't understand, she didn't think Tony Stark was one who lived traumatic experiences, apart from his difficult relationship with his father when he was young. But knowing that he was a normal human being like all of them, that he suffered his own type of trauma since New York was somehow comforting, she wasn't the only one who was hurting since that day.

 

"Thank you for sharing this. Ladies, want to share something with us?" Sam asked and locked his gaze with Natasha's, who clenched her jaw at the eventuality of having to speak, "you don't have to, of course. Tell us we you are willing to."

 

Natasha crossed her legs and arms as she looked away, hoping that she would be forgotten by the rest of the group.

 

"I would like to," Maria spoke up, "I- my childhood was shit. My mother died giving birth to me and my dad hated me for it."

 

"Wow-"

 

"Tony, shut up," Carol warned.

 

"Sorry."

 

Maria cleared her throat as she gave Carol a thanking glance, "It made me… cold, for some people, bland for other, and growing up I didn't have many friends… Actually I didn't have any friend at all when I was doing my best to be accepted," she chuckled nervously and Natasha noticed a tear in the corner of her eye, "It's funny how kids judge each other when they don't know anything, don't you think? But the worst is to come back home and find a man who doesn't give a single fuck about you, and knowing that if you tell him some kids in school bully you he will say that you deserve it."

 

Maria took her head in her hands, and then there was a silence, so heavy that Natasha wished someone would do something, any sound to fill it would do it, but it lingered until Maria spoke again a minute later, "Anyway. My childhood was shit and it has an impact on who I am every day. Thank you for listening."

 

Tony reached Maria's knee and gave it a squeeze, empathising with the dark haired woman and her difficult youth, something he knew on another level. It was very surprising for Natasha to see Tony caring for other people's feeling, he was usually so self-centred and making fun of anyone he ran into that witnessing him being soft and caring was actually nice and comforting, maybe this support group idea was not so bad.

 

"Thank you Maria. Anyone else?"

 

Carol gave Natasha a glance, telling her that she was going to start before starting, "I was once abducted by an alien civilization who tried to shape me into there beliefs. I was brainwashed, they tried to take my emotions away and almost succeeded…" she looked at Natasha again and smiled, "After that, when I escaped, I had to rediscover who I was, who I am, and it was the most difficult part. Sometimes I wished they had done it, brainwash me completely… because I couldn't tell which memory was real and which had been created, twisted into what they wanted."

 

"Kinda hard to relate to someone who's been abducted by aliens," Tony commented as Carol finished her story.

 

Natasha groaned, "But people can relate to someone being brainwashed."

 

"Hey," Carol whispered to Natasha as she took her hand, "It's okay," she assured and leaned closer, "Tell them something about you."

 

Something? Which one? That she had been taken in by a bunch of assassin when she was still a kid, that she saw her home burning with her parents in it. Or maybe she should tell them how they broke her, how many times she had been beaten, whipped, raped, tortured, brainwashed. There was so much to say, but she didn't feel like telling any of this, not yet, maybe never.

 

"Tell them about Bruce," Carol added.

 

It was definitely the only option that Natasha ever thought of talking about in this support group, but she didn't think she would have to talk so soon. Taking a deep breath, Natasha closed her eyes and when she opened them again she saw Carol's, soft and encouraging. The redhead rolled her eyes, annoyed that her girlfriend had so much power over her, but it was for her own good and she knew it.

 

"Okay," she breathed and felt a squeeze on her hand, "I think I have PTSD… because of the Hulk."

 

"Excuse me?" Tony exclaimed as he looked straight at Natasha, "What do you mean?"

 

He didn't mean to be rude, Natasha knew it, but it felt like it, she felt like he was invalidating her trauma. Clenching her hands, Natasha tried to find the best way to explain but her brain froze.

 

"Remember the explosion in the helicarrier?" Carol said and Tony hummed. Then, the blonde turned back to her girlfriend, wordlessly asking Natasha permission to continue to explain and she gave her a nod in agreement, "Bruce and Natasha ended one floor under us and, well, Bruce turned and chased Natasha."

 

"He tried to kill me," Natasha clarified, "and I only survived because Thor got his attention."

 

"I didn't know Natasha, I'm sorry," Maria said with a concerned tone.

 

Tony remained speechless, which was unlike him. Natasha didn't know what more to say, this was one of the reasons she was there and she wanted people to tell her they understood, all of them, but Tony didn't speak.

 

"You should've told me," Tony finally blurted out, glaring at Natasha.

 

"Why?"

 

"I thought I was the only one traumatised by New York. I tried to talk to someone but they didn't get it because they weren't there and when I talked to Bruce he kinda ignored me. I wish I had known about you, and we would've talked together about it."

 

"Well, I didn't know you weren't doing good since New York. You aren't an open book Stark," Natasha replied, more aggressively than she meant to.

 

"Okay, I think that's enough for a first session," Sam intervened as he stood up.

 

"No, it's fine. She is right, I could have told her as well," the Iron Man said before turning to Natasha, "I'm sorry it happened to you Natasha."

 

Natasha watched Tony as he got on his feet and stood before her, offering his hands, "Peace?"

 

Shaking her head with amusement, Natasha took his hands and ended up held in his arms. It was a different type of hugs than those she was used to, Carol's, but it still felt good. And knowing that she could go to Tony and talk with him, instead of bothering Carol with it. The blonde already had a lot to handle with all the Red Room thing, if Natasha could spare her one of her problems she would without hesitation.

 

"Thank you Tony," Natasha eventually mumbled and they stepped out of the embrace, "And thank you, Natasha."

 

They both sat back on their seats for Sam to conclude this first session, "Well, I didn't think it would go that way, but I think it was actually a good start. I suppose now we all trust one another, and all our exchanges proved that we can sympathise with others' experiences and feelings, which is very important."

 

"I have to be honest, I thought this would be a waste of time, but I might have been wrong," Tony admitted.

 

"Oh, my God, Stark just said he was wrong! Unprecedented!" Maria joked, provoking all the group but Tony to burst into laughters.

 

"I thought we didn't mock the other?" he complained.

 

Carol shook her head, "We said the others' experience! It's not the same."

 

"Right! Anyway, I have to go. You kids have fun," Tony said as he walked to the elevator and waved at them to say good bye.

 

The second he was gone, Carol moved closer to Natasha and the redhead sat comfortably against her girlfriend's body, "You did great today," Carol whispered before kissing her temple, "I'm proud of you."

 

Suddenly, Natasha felt butterflies in her stomach and her cheeks warming up. This was how Carol affected her in the best way, when she was telling her she was proud of her. Natasha was rarely proud of herself, but she wanted to get there, for her own good but also for Carol, and the fact that she was succeeding really motivated her to continue her efforts.

 

Natasha curled up more with Carol, changing position to hold the blonde's side and tuck her face in the crook of her neck.

 

"What do you guys think of a drink," Maria asked, "or are you too busy cuddling to join us."

 

With a roll of her eyes, Natasha stood up, waited for Carol to get out of the couch too, intertwined their fingers together and they followed Maria and Sam in the elevator.

 

The couple hadn't been out with their friends for a while, the last time was with Clint instead of Sam and in the capital, but the afternoon went as well as it could. And it was the first time they hung out with friends as girlfriends, and that was something big. Natasha stood by her choice to keep their relationship a secret for now, even if she knew Carol some times hated it, but she preferred it that way for the beginning of their love story.

 

If you don't count the three months Carol spent away looking for James Barnes, they had been dating for only four months, which was still a very short amount of time for a relationship. They had been close for a year now, Natasha had realised her feelings for Carol around the same time, in august after their night at the ballet, but they had not been a couple of long. Yes, they knew each other by heart, could read the tiniest micro-expression on their faces and complete the other's sentences, but it didn't mean the relationship wasn't new. Natasha wanted to keep it under the radar of her fellow Avenger friends for a few more months, to be able to develop and enjoy it in private before being exposed to these men and their humour some times not funny at all.

 

But on this late afternoon, on the terrace of this Manhattan bar, they were a couple in the eyes of those they trusted to keep it secret and who weren't too annoying with them. They were holding hands and sharing loving gazes, they were free and it really suited Natasha who couldn't get a rid of the smile on her face.

 

As the sun began to set, it enlightened the street where they were and was straight in Natasha's face. The redhead enjoyed it, closing her eyes and tilting her head back to relax.

 

"Happiness suits you well, Romanoff," Maria told her as she rose her bottle of beer.

 

The redhead chuckled and drank a sip of her own drink, even though she didn't consider herself happy. She might have been last Thanksgiving and Christmas, when work was great and her relationship with Carol was slowly evolving, but this year she never thought herself happy. Of course she and Carol were finally together and that was great, it brought a lot of joy in her life, but there were still so much pain inside her, so much suffering that had to be dealt with. She would get there, Natasha was sure of it, because Carol was doing her best for that, but it was a long process, and it couldn't be sped up so she had to be patient.

 

The four friends left the bar when it was time for dinner, and decided to go to a restaurant since Sam was there. Being the guest, he chose what type of food he wanted to eat, Thai, and they went to a place not far from the tower that Maria knew.

 

As they walked past a family, one of the kids bumped into Carol and almost fell.

 

"Will, watch your step!" a woman scolded, surely his mother. The kid looked up at Carol, "Sorry," he apologised shyly before gasping, "You are Captain Marvel!" he shouted with excitement.

 

Carol let go of Natasha's hand, bent down in front of him and clenched her hand into a fist, "Yes, I am," she confirmed and the kid fist bumped her knuckle, like Cooper did back when he met the blonde.

 

"You are Black Widow," a little girl said from behind the boy. He looked up and gasped again, "It's her, she closed the portal, she saved us all!!"

 

Natasha took a step forward and stood beside Carol, her hand on her shoulder, "That would be me, yes."

 

"She is the true hero," Carol told them, "I just punched a bunch of aliens, but she saved the world."

 

"You're so cool," exclaimed the boy to Natasha and ran to her side to hug her.

 

After a few seconds, the kids' mother pulled them back and thanked both Carol and Natasha for saving New York before they left, the boy Will shouting that he loved them while the girl waved at them.

 

Carol got back on her feet with a grin on her face and was about to take a step forward when Natasha gripped her hand and stopped her, "Thank you," she whispered and the blonde tilted her head in confusion, "you didn't have to tell them I was the true hero, we all were."

 

Carol moved closer and cupped Natasha's cheek with one hand, "Considering how happy you are right now, telling them the truth was worth it," she smirked before giving Natasha's lips a soft kiss, "I think Sam and Maria are waiting for us, let's go."

 

After this nice encounter, they made their way to the restaurant. It was a self-serve buffet, meaning that Carol and Sam went back to it respectively four and five times, while Maria and Natasha only had to get food twice. Natasha watched her girlfriend guzzling all her food like it was candies and couldn't stop laughing when she had sauce all over her mouth.

 

At the end of this fabulous meal, the two trenchermen felt like they were going to explode but they assured it was the best food they had ever eaten and Carol even told Natasha they would go back to this place on a weekly basis. They took a moment to digest before going back to the tower and settled in Carol's room, for a late night talk.

 


 

Maria went to the kitchen to make herbal tea for everybody and returned to Carol's room with cups and the teapot on a tray. When she entered, she found the blonde and her girlfriend snuggled up on the couch, Carol and Sam quietly chatting while Natasha seemed to have dozed off.

 

After nodding at her, Carol wordlessly confirmed that Natasha had fallen asleep thus Maria was extra careful not to make too much noise. She poured the teas for Carol and Sam before serving one for herself and sat on the coffee table, the other armchair opposite to Sam too far away.

 

They discussed for a little while, mostly about the session they had earlier this afternoon and how they all hoped it would help Natasha. Maria, just like Sam and Carol, was partially healed from the traumatic experiences of her past, even if thinking about them often made her emotional, but just like the two other conscious people in the room she was doing it for the redhead, and Tony to some extend. Carol told them that Natasha had had quite the difficulty to sleep lately, and the fact that she fell asleep on the couch tonight was a good sign, it meant the support group was working, better than they could have imagined.

 

It was almost midnight when Maria offered Sam to show him the room where he would pass the night. It was also an excuse to leave Carol and Natasha alone, especially since what Carol said about Natasha's sleep, it would be even better if she was in an actual bed.

 

As they cleaned the cups, Carol carried her girlfriend to her bed, and Maria couldn't get her eyes off of them during the whole thing.

 

"They are annoying, aren't they?" she asked Sam as Natasha got awakened by Carol sloppy motion, the blonde apologising with a kiss on Natasha's temple.

 

Sam chuckled as he too watched the scene, "Annoyingly cute, yeah."

 

"Don't tell them," Maria began as she took the tray, "but I'm really glad they found each other."

 

"Me too. They deserve to be happy and, as we can see, they are."

 

Maria didn't commented any further and led Sam to his room. Then, she went to the kitchen to put the cups in the dishwasher and saw a piece of clothing that she knew was Carol's. She walked back to the blonde's room and this time when she entered she saw her staring at her sleeping girlfriend, in awe. She gave her the sweater back and left, a comment blurting out of her, "Annoyingly happy."

Notes:

I partially made up Maria's childhood I guess. I did a bit a research and the only thing I found was that her mother died giving birth to her and that her father blamed her for it, the rest is from me.

Also, little clarification, in this fic Natasha is demisexual, that’s why they had sex, she isn’t ace like one could have assumed after chapter 20.

Chapter 25: I love you

Chapter Text

Carol woke up to a casual Tuesday ahead of her. It was the last day of September, autumn was slowly getting there and she still had nothing to do of her days. It was actually quite frustrating, the last few HYDRA agents they had to throw in prison were impossible to catch, Loki's sceptre, that was surely in their hands, was nowhere to be found too and the lead on James Barnes Sam followed a week ago had been a dead end. Worst than all that, now that Carol was allowed by Natasha to work on the Red Room, the case had gone cold and they couldn't find anything more. They had nothing to do.

 

So, a few days prior, Carol and Natasha decided to really chill for a change. They were going to bed later than their usual bedtime, watching TV shows until they'd fall asleep, they got up at almost noon everyday and ate brunches.

 

But this morning Carol got up with the sun, around eight, and couldn't get back to sleep. For a moment, she stared at her girlfriend, using her hand to slightly enlighten her face, but even if Natasha was the cutest woman in the universe, she eventually got bored and stopped. It was twenty past ten when she finally left the bed and went to the bathroom for a morning shower.

 

Knowing that Natasha would eventually wake up because of the sound of the water running, Carol went fast and just washed her body before getting out. As she put a towel around her torso, she realised that she forgot to take her clothes and that she'd have to cross the entire room to go to the dressing room and then go back to the bathroom to do her hair after she'd be dressed. Carol cursed under her breath, why did she have to be so absent-minded when she wasn't at work?

 

As discreetly as possible, she opened the door of the bathroom a few inches and stuck her head out of it to see if Natasha was still asleep. There was no movement from the redhead so Carol got out and hurried up to make her way to the dressing room. It was hers therefore almost all her clothes were there, if they had been in Natasha's room she would have had to go back here because Natasha's clothes were too small for her. She picked the first sport bra, tank top and yoga pants she found and went back to the bathroom to get dressed.

 

On the way, she thought she heard Natasha whimpering but ignored it and hoped the redhead would go back to a deeper sleep soon. Since her session at the gym the day before had been cut short by Natasha being a needy girlfriend, Carol had to do extra hours this afternoon. A long gym session meant hair that was going to be a mess so Carol tied it in a tight bun.

 

Getting out of the bathroom again, she was surprised to see the lights of the room all turned on and jumped when she saw Natasha leaning beside the door, "Hi stranger!"

 

"Oh! Fuck, Natasha!"

 

The redhead lightly chuckled, "Not my fault you still don't know that I feel it every time you leave our bed."

 

"I wish I could never leave our bed," Carol whined as she loosely wrapped her arms around Natasha's waist and gave her a good morning kiss that lingered as Natasha put her hands in the back of Carol's neck and didn't let her go, "Wait for me please," she breathed between kiss, "I wanna work out with you today."

 

"Like you did yesterday," Carol replied with a shit-eating grin before capturing her lips again. The feeling of Natasha smiling against her lips oh so satisfying, Carol enthusiastically pushed Natasha against the wall of the bathroom as this good morning kiss turned into a making out session.

 

"What can I say, I love your abs."

 

Carol chuckled against Natasha's neck and left a trail of kisses on her skin up to her ear, "Yeah but making out in the gym isn't really safe for our little secret," she whispered as she nibbled the lobule of her pierced ear.

 

"I promise I'll behave today," Natasha purred as she took control of the situation and gently pushed Carol away, "I'm gonna shower, and then we'll go train, yeah?"

 

Natasha was gone in the shower before she could answer and Carol even hesitated to join her and extend the making out but they did have to work out and this would just slow them if not stop them completely.

 

Carol sat on her side of the bed and took her phone as a distraction while waiting for the redhead to be ready. But it never worked for long these days, not since Natasha's breakdown. It would be hard to see for any other person on this planet, but Carol could distinguish so easily the fear that remained in Natasha's eyes all day long. Some times it was shadowed by a real lighter mood, but most of the time the redhead was faking it and fooling all the people in the tower. She wasn't fooling Carol, but it was something she didn't try to do anymore, knowing that it didn't work.

 

What Carol was the most scared of was that Natasha got lost in her fake good mood and start forgetting about her problems, that would come back and hit her all at once like a wrecking ball. But when she once mentioned it, Natasha swore that she wasn't ignoring her problems, she was actually talking to Tony about one of them, the Hulk.

 

It was nice to know that Natasha was opening up to someone else since the first and only support group session they've had yet, but Carol felt useless because Natasha wasn't talking to her about anything anymore. Maybe she didn't need to, she didn't have much nightmares lately and when she did it was again about the Hulk so this thing with Tony could be working. Carol was also glad the Iron Man found someone to confide in, she had noticed he wasn't doing great and had not checked on him since, now he had Natasha.

 

Thinking would have to wait for another time, because Natasha was done with her shower and was already dressed when she exited the bathroom.

 

"I'm just doing my hair and we are good to go," she said as she walked towards Carol, both her arms up and her hands in her hair.

 

"Braids?" Natasha hummed in response, "Let me do it."

 

Giving Carol a thanking smile, Natasha let go of her hair, undoing all she had already done and sat on the floor, her back against the bed. Carol ran her fingers into Natasha's long hair, she really loved it like this and dreaded the moment she would decide to cut them. But the redhead was gorgeous whether her hair was short, at shoulder-length or longer, so there was no need to worry, Carol just wished she could have this Natasha a little bit longer.

 

Carol had not done braids in a while, the last time must have been a decade ago to Monica and she had a different type of hair than the redhead. But it was not a hard process and Carol had observed Natasha doing it herself more than once, she knew how she liked it, curving to the right side of her face and did it exactly like it. Braids suited Natasha perfectly, it just did, there was no explanation to it but Carol also loved when she had access to Natasha's neck so that might be a reason.

 

When she was about to be done, Natasha scratched the back of her neck, as if she knew that Carol would need the elastic she had around her wrist to tie her hair. When she did, a little oh escaped Natasha's lips as their hands brushed together. The redhead looked behind her and smiled as Carol finished to do her hair and whispered the softest thank you Carol had ever heard.

 

Now that Natasha was ready, they could go to the gym, but Carol didn't want this moment of intimacy to stop. When Natasha got up on her feet, Carol caught her hand and pulled her towards her, the redhead quickly giving in and sitting on the edge of the bed. Her back resting against Carol's chest, Natasha hummed as she relaxed, she shut her eyes, entwined her fingers with Carol's and let her strong arms holding her. Natasha's left side being fully exposed, Carol leaned in and pressed gentle kisses here and there, down to her shoulder and back up to her jaw. Natasha's hums of pleasure only motivating the blonde, she continued by holding her tighter as she kissed her cheek and temple.

 

At this instant, Carol had just one wish, and it was to finally tell Natasha that she loved her, but as hard as she thought of the words, they died on her tongue. She could see the small smile on Natasha's lips, all the satisfaction on her features and she knew that saying it would ruin the moment, because Natasha wasn't ready to hear it norwas she ready to say it back.

 

After on last deep inhalation of Natasha's scent and a long kiss on her temple, Carol released her girlfriend from her hold, "We should get going," she told her in a whisper and Natasha nodded in agreement, but still remained seated with Carol for one more minute before getting up.

 

Their gym session had not been planned, but as always they ended up sparring. Carol did a little weight-lifting first while Natasha worked on her cardio, but when they were both in the gym it couldn't go another way then them teasing each other on the mat.

 

With time, Natasha learnt some Kree fighting techniques that Carol hadn't realised she was using while training with her. Carol didn't even have to teach her, the redhead just watched, endured some of them and now it was just part of her skills. The problem with that was that Natasha was officially a better fighter than Carol, she already was in Earth fighting styles and became better than her at Kree's.

 

But, truth be told, Carol liked to get her ass kicked by the redhead, especially when she danced in victory after throwing Carol down on the mat, it was adorable. The best was when they ended up face to face, both panting, Natasha on top of Carol, just like the day before. But today, Tony had joined the gym in the middle of their sparring and was spending more time staring at them than pumping iron, so making out in the middle of the room wasn't an option.

 

It was time for lunch when they decided to stop, both saying they wouldn't shower now because they would get back to the gym later on the day and that was when Carol remembered that Natasha was doing her ballet routine on Tuesday.

 

She had not been able to see her yet, because Natasha didn't want anyone in the room with her when she was training, but she was telling Carol how it was going and it sounded beautiful. Carol couldn't wait to see her dance, to accompany her with the piano. They would create something rare, elegant and personal when their arts would finally meet but this when was Natasha's decision alone.

 

So this afternoon, while Natasha was in the dance studio, Carol did her extra training. The redhead was usually locked up in the room for two to three hours, which was exactly how long Carol's session would be considering the sequence she planned. After the three hour mark, Carol was done training, all her muscles sore, drops of sweat running down her temple and abs, but Natasha was still not out.

 

Figuring her girlfriend would soon get out, Carol went to the locker room to wipe her face and drink so water, but when she came back to the gym there was still not sign of Natasha. There was music playing from the dance studio, so Natasha was still in there, but Carol wondered how long it would take.

 

It took are an entire minute to decide to knock. She knocked a second time but the music was too loud, Natasha would never hear her. Out of frustration, Carol tried the knob and gasped when she realised the door was opened, unlike all the other times she tried to get in, Natasha had not locked the door.

 

Shyly, Carol stepped inside and found her girlfriend in the air, doing a movement that Carol couldn't name but whatever it was, it was divine. Closing the door behind her, the blonde discreetly walked to the piano and leaned on it while watching Natasha finishing her routine. Pirouettes and pliés were the only movements Carol could identify, but she made a mental note to ask Natasha what were all these other graceful dance step she perfectly executed.

 

Carol only noticed that the music stopped when Natasha glanced at her and smiled. The redhead approached her and Carol met her midway. Her hands gripped at Natasha's hips, Carol pulled her into a passionate kiss that Natasha returned with as much eager, "It was so beautiful," she whispered as there eyes met again.

 

Natasha's eyes, her goddamn eyes, with their colour so magical, emerald green on the outside and light blue on the inside, they were mesmerising. And the way Natasha looked at her, the love that shined through them, the happiness in her little crow's-feet were enough to make all the butterflies in Carol's stomach flutter their wings all at once, "I'm so in love with you."

 

Surprisingly enough, Carol didn't panic after saying it, and neither did Natasha, but her reaction wasn't quite what the blonde had expected. After a second she laughed, "Shut up."

 

Carol frowned, "Why? You don't believe me?"

 

"N-no I do, it's just that-"

 

Carol let go of Natasha and shrugged, "What? Am I not showing it enough? Don't you realise how much you mean to me?" she was getting angry, she couldn't understand why Natasha making fun of it or questioning it.

 

"I…" Natasha breathed. She seemed like she was panicking now, and Carol instantly regretted her reaction. She wasn't taking it lightly, it was the contrary, it meant so much to her that she had to joke about it or the weight of the words would crush her.

 

Carefully, she took a step forward and held Natasha's hands, "Baby, I'm sorry… I'm an idiot, talk to me, please," she murmured as she rested her forehead against Natasha's, and the latter took a few more second before matching her gaze and answering, "It's just that I feel like I'm in a dream and that one day I'll wake up and you and all the good you bring to me will be gone. I'm so scared of losing you that I don't take anything for granted, in case you leave one day."

 

"I would never leave you," Carol assured before Natasha stepped back.

 

"But what if you do, and I'm alone, without you to remind me that I'm worth something…" Carol closed the gap between them and cupped Natasha's cheek, making her look at her. After a deep breath, Natasha spoke, "I feel special to have you for myself. I feel beautiful every time you lay eyes on me, I feel desired every time you touch me, safe when you're here to help me... I feel so loved every second of every day thanks to you Carol, I'm happy because you are there, because you are doing everything in your power to make me happy, even if I'm broken and incapable of doing the same for you…" Natasha told her, her last words filled with sadness.

 

Carol shook her head, "You are making me happy Natasha," she swore before giving the smaller woman's forehead soft reassuring kisses.

 

"I don't think I do…"

 

The blonde sighed, of course Natasha didn't think she was good enough, it was one of her ways to belittle herself. But damn how happy Carol was since she and Natasha met, she needed to prove it to her, "Since I got my power and before I met you, do you know what was the longest time I stayed on Earth?" she asked her as she wiped a tear that had fallen off the corner of her eye.

 

"I don't know."

 

"Twenty days. And I did it once because I had promised Monica I would be there eighteen days for her eightieth birthday. Otherwise it was a few days, maximum two weeks a few times a year."

 

"Carol, I don't understand your point," Natasha cried, attempting to get away but Carol gently held her and kept on explaining, "I never left since we've met Natasha. It's almost been three years now, and I'm still here and it's not because Nick asked me to lead the Avengers, or because Maria and Monica wanted to see me, no. I've been here for three years because I met you, because I started to care about you until I fell in love with you."

 

"Carol…" Natasha sobbed as she heard it again.

 

But Carol wanted to say it, she needed to say it. Natasha was the love of her life and she had to know it, "I'm in love with you, Natasha," she began as she nuzzled her nose to make her stop sobbing, and she eventually did and looked up,"I love you with my whole body and soul and I know it's not something you are used to deal with, being loved like that, but I want you and I'm going to stay with you and help you accept that… Let me love you, Natasha…" she said and felt tears of her own rolling down her cheeks, "and please believe that you make me happy because you do, you really do…" she assured, "I love you…" she whispered and kissed her, the taste of their tears mixing with the one of their lips, "I love you…" she kissed her temple, "I love you."

 

Natasha was silently sobbing in the crook of Carol's neck as they rocked in the middle of the dance studio. Fingers tracing circles in her neck, her other hand stroking her back, Carol did all she knew to calm the redhead and told her that everything was okay, that she could take the time she needed. She had all the rights to feel, after their conversation or any other time, she was allowed to feel and Carol would always remind her of that, feeling was okay, it was a good thing even. Natasha just heard things that made her feel like she had never in her life and whether she needed one minute or sixteen hours to stop crying after it, Carol would give her and be with her at every second.

 

Carol was silently crying too, and she hoped Natasha didn't notice or it would weight down her already-heavy burden. What Natasha said echoed in her head like this song you can't forget, a song she never want to forget. It was so much more than an I love you, it was better and Carol would remember it forever, the sentences, the emotion in Natasha's voice when she told her that she was making her happy, it was her ultimate goal and she was succeeding.

 

Long minutes passed before Natasha stopped sobbing, and even after that she stayed in Carol's arms and hugged her, "You don't have to say it, okay? I know you do."

 

Natasha nodded and finally looked into Carol's eyes, "Just… kiss me if you love-"

 

Before she could finish this sentence, Natasha's lips were on hers, showing her that she loved her. She kissed her tenderly, desperately, each kiss more meaningful than the one before, until she was breathless and pulled away.

 

"That much?" Carol chuckled.

 

"That much," Natasha panted and kissed her again.

 

But this time when she stopped, Carol pulled her back in and put her hands on her thighs. With a smooth motion, she lifted Natasha off the floor and held her, chests pressed together as they breathed the same intoxicating air. They stopped at the piano for Natasha to adjust her legs around Carol's waist before the blonde picked her up again, "I'm gonna show you how much I love you," she murmured against her lips before walking them to the locker room.

 

At that moment, neither one of them cared if someone was in the gym to see them, but hopefully it was empty. They entered the locker room and Carol pinned the redhead at the door as she locked it before taking her to the shower. On the way, she put her down and they ripped off each other's clothes until they were both naked in the shower.

 

The hot water ran on their heads and faces as they kissed deeply, the fight for dominance as a metaphor to who loved who the most, but it was fifty fifty. Steam started filling the whole locker room as their bodies' temperature increased, the water from the shower not helping them. But they couldn't care less to be flushed and breathless, they were together and could be as vulnerable as they wanted. Carol was so turned on that nothing made sense in her brain anymore, but she knew Natasha didn't give her a signal to go any further, so she kept it for herself and kept it chaste.

 

When Natasha could barely breathe anymore, she broke the kiss and tilted her head back, giving Carol a free access the her neck. Quickly, Natasha was pressed against the wall and it was even faster for Carol to get her off the ground again. She literally devoured her neck with open mouthed kisses and left a love bite that would for sure be visible for a few days at least. The tight bun Carol did this morning was just a big mess as Natasha grasped her hair while she kissed her neck, and soon after the redhead gently stopped her by cupping her cheeks, "That much, huh?" she joked before Carol released her with a grin.

 

They eventually took a real shower, that was meant to wash them, not make them sweatier, and had probably used all the hot water of the tower at the end of it. It wasn't late enough to go to the kitchen for dinner, so they decided to get back to Carol's room.

 

Of all the choices they had, the couple chose to lay down on the bed and watch TV. Natasha instantly put the remote down when she found a channel that broadcast Friends, show that Carol had never seen because she was in space during its first release, whether she was with the Kree or on her own as Captain Marvel. Natasha had been forced to watch it entirely by Clint when they became friends and she loved it so she wanted to share it with the person she loved the most.

 

After an episode though, Carol fell asleep, clutch at the giant hoodie Natasha was wearing. As she saw the time getting late, Natasha figured that Carol wouldn't wake up early enough to make dinner therefore she ordered food from the Thai they went to a few weeks ago with Maria and Sam.

 

Carol woke up just in time for Natasha to go to the entry of the tower and get the delivery. She smelt it the second Natasha entered the room and jumped out of bed to thank her for the nice attention. They ate on the bed, some times feeding the other, some times stealing from their boxes, laughters and giggles filling the air the whole time.

 

Because she had been the lazy one who fell asleep, Carol went to the kitchen to throw the boxes to the bin and, when she came back, she found Natasha laying flat on her back in the middle of the bed, "You okay baby?"

 

Natasha tilted her head a smiled, "Yeah, just waiting for you to get back."

 

Carol climbed on the bed and straddled Natasha's hips, "Aw! You didn't know what to do without me."

 

"I do know what to do without you, it's just less fun."

 

With a little giggle, Carol leaned in and pecked Natasha's lips. Looking down at the hoodie Natasha was wearing, Carol wondered something, "I swear I can get in this thing with you."

 

Before Natasha could protest, Carol had already dove into the piece of clothing and was kissing her belly. The redhead couldn't stop laughing as her girlfriend childishly nibbled and licked her skin until she decided to get out by the hole for the head, "Hey! Didn't see you there," she said and kissed Natasha's nose, "Yeah, sure," the smaller woman replied and she wrapped her arms around her lover

 

Carol knew at that moment that she would be stuck as long as Natasha wanted her to be there, so instead of trying to escape she rolled them until she was laying on her back with the redhead on top of her. It was her favourite position to make out, and since they would be there for a long time, Carol figured they might start right away. Covered by the love of her life, wrapped in her clothes and scent, Carol felt sleepy quicker than she'd want and stopped kissing Natasha to let her know she wanted to go to bed.

 

The redhead immediately got the hint and they rolled again so Carol was on top and could get out of Natasha's sweater. Then, they went to the bathroom to brush their teeth and back to the bed, "Damn, I'm so tired," Carol groaned as she rubbed her eyes.

 

"You trained for basically five hours, no wonder you are tired."

 

Carol looked at the woman on her left and kissed her cheek, "What about you? You trained just like me today, aren't you tired?"

 

Natasha shook her head, "Oddly I'm good."

 

After another kiss, on her temple this time, Carol lied on her side and pulled the covers up. She was about to turn the lights off and wish Natasha a good night when the latter stopped her, "I think I'm ready…" she began with a serious tone, "I'm ready to dance in front of someone, and by that I mean you."

 

Carol grinned, "Okay," she simply said, thinking about the glimpse she had this afternoon and she was really excited to see more.

 

"So if you ever want to play for me, I'd love it," Natasha blurted out before covering her face with the blanket.

 

Carefully, Carol pulled the cover away from Natasha's face, "I would love to," she told her and captured her lips for a good night kiss, "I'm so proud of you."

 

Natasha replied with another kiss, and Carol knew exactly what she meant by it. This time, Carol switched off the lights and spooned Natasha, "Good night," she whispered to her ear.

Chapter 26: Birthday

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Out of all the things they could be doing for Natasha's thirtieth birthday, Carol never imagined babysitting would be the one. But it was for Clint and Laura, they had something 'utterly important' to do and the 22th of November was the only available date for it. Also, Cooper and Lila were great kids, it wouldn't be a hard task to babysit them, and considering the smile Natasha had on her lips when Clint called and asked for the favour, she really didn't mind. They were her niece and nephew after all, of course she wanted to see them for her birthday, so Carol was happy for her, even if she'd rather have the redhead for herself for this special day.

 

The couple went to Washington the day before with a private plane, courtesy of Stark Industries, and spent the day in the capital before joining the Bartons for dinner in their house. They met up with Sam for a drink and then strolled around the city that used to be theirs. Washington would always mean something for Carol and Natasha, it was where they got to know each other, where they became friends and then more, where they had their first kiss.

 

Finally arriving at Clint's, Carol was surprised to feel Natasha's hand slipping into hers as they walked to the front door. She expected her to let go when she'd have knock, but when she didn't Carol had to notify her, "Hey," she murmured as she glanced down at their linked hands. Natasha looked down too, smilingas she released her hand and shrugged, "Old habits."

 

Carol laughed breathlessly as Natasha smirked at her, her lips slightly parted and her eyes playfully staring at her, Natasha was in a good mood.

 

They didn't get to flirt more when Clint opened the door and greeted them both with tight embraces.

 

"Our life savers!" Laura exclaimed and hugged them both at the same time, "dinner is ready and the kids are thrilled to see you."

 

Thrilled was the right word, the second Carol and Natasha stepped into the kitchen, they were welcomed by Cooper and Lila jumping on them, the little girl finding the redhead's arms while her older brother went to the Captain, "Auntie Nat! Auntie Carol!" shouted Lila through the whole house.

 

They had grown so much since last Christmas, Carol could barely recognise Lila, and Cooper was so tall now, "Well Coop! You'll soon be taller than Auntie Nat," she said to tease her girlfriend, who looked back at her and sneakily stuck her tongue out at her.

 

"We really wanted to thank you for coming here so fast," Clint told them as he took his daughter from Natasha's arms and put her on her seat around the table, "we know you guys are busy back in New York."

 

"No worries, we needed the time off," Natasha replied.

 

The beginning of the evening was for the kids who wanted to enjoy the time they had with Natasha and Carol before going to bed. Lila had so many questions for the both of them, how many bad guys they fought since the last time she saw them and how many good people they saved. Carol let Natasha reply to these, she knew it had a great affect on her mental health when kids praised her, and the blonde also had a lot of these kind of nice words after all her years in space.

 

After dinner, while Clint went to tuck his children in, Carol and Natasha prepared herbal tea for them and brought it to the living room. They chatted as they drank, Clint wondering what the Avengers had been up to since he left a couple of months ago to be with his family. His leave wasn't justified like that for Tony and Bruce who didn't know about Laura and the kids, and he apparently didn't want to tell them any time soon.

 

As the hosts were starting to say they were going to bed in a few minutes, Natasha suddenly felt like tell her truth, or rather hers and Carol's. They were about to leave when she spoke up, "Guys, there's something we need to tell you."

 

Carol glanced at her as she came to sit on the arm rest of her chair and pursed her lips, "There is?"

 

"Yeah."

 

Clint and Laura sat back on the couch and looked attentively at the red haired woman as she gathered her thoughts. Natasha saw their intertwined fingers and it confirmed her that she had to do it.

 

"I feel like you should know it and also I don't wanna have to hide, especially for my birthday," she looked up at Carol who understood what she was going to tell them. They shared a smile before Carol took her hand and gave her the squeeze she needed, "So um… Carol and I are dating."

 

"You are?" Clint asked, glancing at the both of them.

 

"We are."

 

"Yes," confirmed the blonde.

 

He shared a gaze with Laura before looking back at his best friend, "Well that's great, I'm happy for you guys," he told them joyfully before getting on his feet.

 

"Can't say I hadn't notice though," Laura chuckled.

 

"You knew?" exclaimed both Natasha and Clint, who almost dropped the tray he was bringing to the kitchen, while Carol just laughed.

 

"I mean, I had doubts. Let's be honest, Natasha, you are not a very cuddly person, but you and Carol are always snuggled up together so it had to be it."

 

And back then they weren't dating, Carol thought, but there was no need to clarify it. She was just glad the truth was out for some more people, it was the beginning of it being out to everybody else. The most important for now was that they would be able to be themselves for Natasha's birthday, it meant Carol would be allowed to kiss her girlfriend whenever she'd want.

 

Carol wasn't going to wait until Natasha's birthday to kiss her, she was too happy and proud of the redhead's decision for that. A wide smile on her face, Carol leaned forward and captured her girlfriend's lips the moment she turned her head to look at her. Natasha shouldn't be surprised that Carol did that, she wasn't someone who liked to waste time, but she expected to have the night before being seen by Clint and Laura. They didn't say anything about it though, they definitely saw them, but if they commented it was later in the privacy of their room.

 

After the hosts left, it wasn't late enough for Carol and Natasha to go to bed, therefore they stayed in the living room to watch TV.

 

Natasha sat on the couch, her legs going all the way to the other side and Carol laid down beside her, her face pressed against Natasha's hip. Natasha quickly slouching, Carol changed position and rested the side of her head on the other woman's belly as she started to feel sleepy. She fell asleep without Natasha noticing, and when she did, she just quietly laughed and stroked her fingers in her hair while watching the end of the movie.

 

The credits were about to roll when Laura walked down the stairs and saw the couple snuggled up together, "You stuck there?" she joked as she walked into the kitchen and came back with a glass of water.

 

"I'm usually the one falling asleep on top of her if I'm being honest."

 

Laura chuckled as she stood beside the armchair, "I'm really happy for you, you know," she began before sitting down, "I've known you for a long time now and I always felt this kind of love in you, even if you said that you would never date anybody. I knew you would find the one and I'm glad it is Carol, she seems to make you really happy."

 

Natasha looked down at the woman asleep in her arms and smiled, "She really does," she muttered, her throat tightening as her eyes filled with tears, "Thank you Laura."

 

"Of course," she said as she got up, "Good night, Natasha."

 

The redhead hummed in response while still mesmerized by her girlfriend. She was so adorable in her sleep, her hand gripped at Natasha's t-shirt, that she didn't want to wake her up and go to their bedroom. But the kids would be up early the next day and they didn't have to babysit them until the afternoon, meaning they could sleep in, only if they slept in the room upstairs.

 

A whole debate happened in Natasha's brain until she finally took her courage and disturbed Carol's sleep, the blonde slightly stirring before she opened her eyes, "I fell asleep, didn't I?"

 

Natasha scoffed as she tilted her head, admiring Carol who loudly yawned and got up, "Time for bed?"

 

"Time for bed."

 

The whole house was asleep, they had to be quiet as they climbed the stairs to go to the bathroom and then the bedroom, but they could fight to urge to tease one another, Carol trying to tickle Natasha's belly and Natasha running to escape her. They made it to the bathroom giggling like the little kids they would babysit the next day, smiles not leaving their faces as they brushed their teeth.

 

Slightly less noisy this time, they went to the Bartons' guest room and straight to bed. Carol was barely laying when she felt Natasha slipping her arms around her waist, "I'm the little spoon tonight, I guess."

 

With a long satisfied hum, Natasha let her know that she was right, or rather that she was so comfortable like this that she wouldn't move. When Carol found the right position, Natasha pressed a kiss on the back of her neck before burying her face in her golden hair. As a good night, Carol intertwined her fingers with Natasha's and squeezed her hands, but considering the steady breathing that she felt on her back, the redhead had already dozed off.

 

A few hours later, Natasha woke up with a start after a nightmare. She was in the helicarrier, the Hulk was running after her, she was going to die. It felt like she had actually ran to save her life, she was panting and sweating, but not agitated enough to awake the woman she was holding. Her breathing not slowing down, Natasha pressed her forehead against Carol's back and focused on hers, trying to follow its rhythm. It was so slow and calm that you could wonder if she was breathing at all, but that was what Natasha needed, something to soothe her.

 

A single tear ran down her temple as she sighed with relief, glad that she didn't have to wake up her lover to avoid a panic attack. It was getting better, the waking up after a nightmare panicking, she had less panic attacks but it usually was because Carol was there to prevent that. Tonight though, she didn't need Carol, or she did but it was still mostly her achievement, unlike all the other times, which made Natasha proud of herself, for the first time in many years.

 

Hoping she wouldn't have another of these nightmares, Natasha closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep.

 

When she woke up later in the morning, she knew she was alone in bed. Passing her arms over the mattress confirmed it, but the fact that Carol's side of the bed was still a bit warm told her that she had not been gone for long.

 

Natasha thought it was kinda rude of Carol to abandon her in bed on her birthday, and she was not going to spend one more second without her. Taking the first hoodie that she saw, which happened to be Carol's of course, Natasha got out of the guest room and went downstairs, feeling that she would find her girlfriend there.

 

Carol was, in fact, on the first floor, in the kitchen making tea. Natasha, leaning against the door frame, silently chuckled when she saw that Carol was wearing her jacket, they had unintentionally swapped clothes.

 

Only after a long minute, Carol noticed her girlfriend's presence and her jaw dropped, "No! I wanted to make you breakfast in bed!" she exclaimed as Natasha joined her, "We can still get back when it's done," she purred as her arms came around Carol's neck.

 

"Happy birthday, baby," Carol giggled as she pulled Natasha into a tender kiss. With her hands on the small of Natasha's back, Carol pulled her closer as she deepened the kiss, her tongue slipping its way into Natasha's mouth as her hands slid down to her ass. Feeling a light squeeze on her butt, Natasha couldn't stop herself from grinning, Carol's tongue getting caught between her teeth causing her to moan, "Ouch" she said as broke the kiss. Natasha replied with a non-apologetic whoops before capturing her lover's lips again.

 

Making out in the middle of the Bartons' kitchen really wasn't the best idea, the kids could get up at any time and see them. Natasha and Carol still had to tell Lila and Cooper about their relationship, it would be better if they found out with words than by seeing them kissing but at the moment they really didn't care. Right now all they wanted was to be together and show how much they loved each other through their kisses.

 

Natasha felt like she was melting, like she and Carol were only one body in perfect symbiosis and nothing would ever feel better than that. They knew how the other liked to be kissed and touched and did it all so perfectly that it felt unreal, but it was actually happening and nothing else was important.

 

Nothing else but the water that was boiling in the kettle, making it whistle to signal the couple that it was ready for the tea. Carol cursed against Natasha's lips as she heard it and gave her a few more pecks before getting her attention back to making breakfast.

 

As usual when Carol was cooking, Natasha stayed with her and annoyed her, slowing her motions by hugging her from behind and kissing her neck to distract her. The truth was that Carol didn't really mind, it was cuter than it was bothering, and at least she could keep an eye on Natasha. When Clint joined them in the kitchen a few minutes later, Natasha let go of Carol for a couple of seconds before remembering that her best friend knew they were together and that she didn't have to hide from him anymore.

 

"We are gonna get back upstairs. You won't be leaving for another two hours, right?" Natasha asked him as he made his way to the living room.

 

He looked back at them, looking through the window he made between the kitchen and the living area – a way for him and Laura to check on the kids while they were busy cooking – and smiled, "Yep! You guys can go enjoy yourselves for a little while longer, I'll come knock at your door when we leave."

 

Carol was finishing to set everything on a tray when Natasha released her and went to a cupboard to add a sugar in one of the cups, "I don't want your little head in the clouds to have to come back here when you notice you forgot the sugar," Natasha said with a wink before they started making their way back to their room.

 

"Hey Nat!" exclaimed Clint as she set foot on the first stair. Natasha leaned back and watched her best friend smirking, "Happy birthday!" She smiled back at him and gave a thanking nod before heading to the bedroom.

 

Everything was settled on the bed when she got inside, the blinds letting just enough light entering the room for them to be comfortable, the tray in the middle of the bed, Carol on her side and a little something waiting for Natasha on hers, "W-when did you get that?" she stuttered as she took in her hands a bouquet of red roses.

 

"Before you found me in the kitchen."

 

Natasha frowned, she couldn't connect the dots, "Did you fly there?"

 

Carol chuckled, "Only to get to the flower shop. I came back with a cab, put the bouquet in the bathroom where I encountered Clint and asked him to slow you down when we'd come back here so I'd have enough time to get it in here."

 

After a short laughter, Natasha climbed onto the bed, carefully leaned over the tray to be at Carol's level and pulled her into a soft kiss with her free hand. They both knew what this kiss meant, since that day in the dance studio, Natasha would some times kiss Carol differently, a delicate kiss that meant I love you and that Carol would return every time.

 

"It looks amazing, thank you," Natasha whispered and gave her lips a peck.

 

Carol smiled before leaning to the other side of the bed and took something from her bag that had been tossed there, "Wanna immortalise it?" she asked as she showed her Polaroid, the one she offered to Natasha last Christmas.

 

"That's what you were going to get from your room when we left," Natasha noted with an amused smirk.

 

"Your room actually," Carol corrected as she put the tray away so Natasha could sit beside her, "Come on."

 

Their legs naturally intertwining together, Carol's hand finding Natasha's thigh, they tried different position until Natasha couldn't resist the urge to smell the flower. She closed her eyes and took one breath, a second one, and before the third she felt Carol's lips pressed on her temple and heard the click of the Polaroid's flash. As she opened her eyes she saw Carol taking the photo from the device and when she turned her head, Natasha captured her lips and another sound of flash hit her eardrums.

 

Carol shook the pictures for them to dry faster and they were clear a minute later, "They'll be perfect with all the others of us," Carol told her before putting down the Polaroid and took the tray.

 

By the others, she meant the other pictures of herself and Natasha that they took since they moved in the tower. Those pictures were hidden in a drawer, unlike others that had been taken with Maria, Clint, Bruce and Tony, that were on one of Natasha's shelves, with the ones she already had in Washington. They even took one when Sam came for the support group, their number was starting to grow to an uncountable amount, which Natasha liked the most. The pictures of her and Carol were as numerous than the others, but only the two of them knew where they were, and as long as they were still hiding their relationship, the Polaroids would stay hidden too.

 

Natasha thanked Carol three times more as they ate breakfast, the bouquet resting at their feet on the bed, a reminder of what she did to get it without Natasha noticing. After laying eyes on it for ten minutes, Natasha noted that there were thirty roses, which not only was her age but also must have cost an arm and a leg. She didn't say that though, her brain overthinking everything wasn't going to ruin such a wonderful attention.

 

"Also, when Clint and Laura will be back from whatever the thing they are doing this afternoon, I'll have another thing for you," Carol told her as she tidied the tray to be ready to get it back to the kitchen.

 

Natasha shook her head, "I'm not a materialistic person, you know?"

 

"Oh, it's not an object, don't worry," Carol clarified with a smirk before getting on her feet, "We should get this in water."

 

Intrigued by what Carol could have for her, Natasha took the bouquet and followed her downstairs, where Clint was now eating breakfast with his wife. Wide eyed when she saw the bloomed flowers, Laura gave Natasha a hug and wished her a happy birthday before turning to her husband and told him that was what a real bouquet looked like. She went back to her tea after showing Carol where to find a vase and the couple headed to the living room.

 

Seated on the couch, Natasha cuddled up with Carol as they looked at the window, a thin rain falling on the countryside of the capital. Gazing at the clock, Natasha noticed that they had to get dressed before Clint and Laura would have to go, "The kids are still asleep?"

 

"Yep. You guys still have- I'd say half an hour of chilling before this room become a war zone," Laura joked as she walked in direction of the stairs.

 

"You didn't tell them?" Natasha shouted before she was too far away. Laura looked back at her with a raised eyebrow, "The kids, they don't know about us?"

 

"If they know it means they eavesdropped yesterday because we didn't tell them."

 

"Okay. I wanna tell them myself," Natasha explained before relaxing in Carol's hold.

 

It was a quarter past ten when Cooper and Lila arrived in the living room and literally attacked Natasha with hugs and kisses for her birthday. Carol quickly got herself out of it and went to the kitchen to prepare their breakfasts, Clint had joined Laura to get dressed a few minutes earlier. She could see Natasha enjoying every second of her moment with these two young humans and couldn't stop herself from imagining how nice it would be if they were their children.

 

They barely discussed it that one time, when Natasha asked if they would ever have normal lives, but that was something Carol wanted too, kids. She would be totally fine if her family was just her and Natasha, but they both wanted it to be bigger, so when the time would come the blonde was sure they would have children. Her dream was two, a boy and a girl, just like the Bartons, but Carol would prefer if the girl was the oldest, or they could be twins, that would be great too. It wouldn't be an easy process, they would have to adopt them, but Carol was confident that she would have kids of her own one day, with Natasha.

 

She had had a taste of parenthood with Monica and just the small part she played in her life was amazing, she loved it and would do everything in her power to have it with the redhead.

 

After five long minutes of kisses on cheeks and snuggles, Natasha was rescued by Carol calling the kids for breakfast. At the same time came their parents and they told Carol and Natasha to go get dressed while they would handle the morning feeding. The married couple had to leave when they got back to the living room, meaning it was babysitting time.

 

They started with a game of Scrabble, Carol teaming up with Lila while Cooper insisted to be alone, which meant Natasha was too. It was a fair game between the team of two and Natasha, the young boy quickly regretting his choice as he was losing by far. Carol tried to cheat with words that weren't from Earth, that referred to plants or objects she encounter in space, but Natasha didn't let her. At the end, Natasha won by seven points, and she suspected that Carol purposefully didn't put hers and Lila's last word on a double letter square so she would win.

 

It was time for the blonde to go cook lunch when they finished the game, and Natasha decided that it was also the moment for her to tell the kids about their relationship. It wasn't something they talked about but Carol felt like she had nothing to say about it anyway, the Bartons were Natasha's family and if she wanted to sit down and explain to them that being two women in love was normal, Carol would be there to support her.

 

So she was there in the kitchen, chopping vegetables as she listened to Natasha, "Guys, come and sit with me," the redhead began as she lifted Lila off the ground to make her sit on the window – that way they were closer to Carol – and Cooper sat on the armchair under the window.

 

"You guys remember once, you asked me if I'd ever have someone I love like your mom loves your dad?" the kids nodded, "and sweetie, you remember last Christmas when you asked me why I was so happy to see Auntie Carol?" the little girl nodded again.

 

Carol didn't know about this, whether she was already gone when Lila asked or she was not with them. But whatever the answer was she thought it was extremely adorable that she would notice how much Natasha liked Carol back then, especially at her age.

 

"Well, the reason why I was so happy to see Auntie Carol is because she is this someone I love like your mom loves your dad," Natasha stopped herself and looked at Carol, who smiled before getting her attention back to the aubergines she was peeling, trying not to take so seriously the fact that Natasha just said that she loved her.

 

Natasha had more to say, but she didn't know how to tell them so she waited for the kids' reactions and it came from Lila, "So do you… kiss and stuff?"

 

Carol snorted and almost cut herself with the knife, it was maybe the best question she could have expected from them, "Yes, that can happen," Natasha replied with a chuckle before taking Lila in her arms and sat with Cooper in the armchair, "But, you know, some people in the world don't like it when a woman and another woman are in love, or when a man and another man are in love. But I want you to know that it's totally okay and normal, and if you ever are in this situation like me and Auntie Carol, your parents and us would be okay with it."

 

"But why these people don't like it?" asked Cooper, "It's none of their business who we love."

 

"That's right, Coop," Carol intervened, "it's none of their business, but they still think it is and some of them can be really awful and cruel, that's why Auntie Nat is telling you that it's okay with us."

 

"And also, if one day you have a friend in this situation, you can help them. If their family isn't okay with it, you can help them, you can be their new family."

 

The kids nodded again before hugging Natasha tight, the latter giving them kisses on the top of their heads as she enjoyed the embrace.

 

"Alright!" Carol shouted as she clapped her hands, "Lunch is ready!"

 

Cooper and Lila kissed Natasha's cheeks before running to the table that wasn't set. Natasha watched the scene in front of her, Carol handing the kids the plates, glasses, forks and knifes and they set the table on their own. She walked in the kitchen and leaned against the counter, smiling as Carol verified if they did a good job, giving them high fives to congratulate them. She hoped that one day it would be their kids around a table like this, enthusiastically doing the task they were asked to do and getting hugs from their mother because they did great.

 

"Baby?" Carol said from the table and walked over her, "you coming?" she asked as her hands found Natasha's hips, "Yeah, sorry… I was just-"

 

"Daydreaming?" Carol finished her sentence with a smirk, "Did that too earlier," she admitted before kissing Natasha's lips, which earned them a scream for Lila.

 

"I said it could happen, lil girl!" Natasha laughed as she sat down beside her and gently squeezed her shoulder.

 

Oddly, the kids didn't complain about eating vegetables, they even said it was delicious, when really Carol just chopped them and tossed them in a pan with butter and olive oil. But they were happy and gulped down their whole plates, Cooper even asked for more.

 

After dessert, Natasha told them that they would decide what would be their next activity, and they both agreed that they wanted to go play outside. Although it was still raining, the two women accepted, but they had to put on their raincoats, clothes that they hated wearing. Lila grumbled as Natasha helped her to put it on, but in the end she was so happy to be outside that she didn't mind.

 

They ran around the house for a while and Natasha and Carol remained dry under the porch, but they were quickly called out by the kids who asked if they could play with them. Carol sacrificed herself and went with them to play soccer for a long hour. Natasha watched them, observed that both Cooper and Lila were very skilled and ten times better than Carol who didn't know what she was doing with her feet. Natasha felt like she had to go take her Polaroid and take some pictures, and just when she came back she found Carol laying down on the lawn and the two kids on top her, hugging her. The redhead captured the moment before calling them back inside, Carol's jacket and her hair were completely soaked wet and she was shivering.

 

The blonde went to change into clean clothes while Natasha put the kids in front of the TV and then joined her girlfriend upstairs. She found her in the bathroom with only her underwear on and cursed just when she entered, "Fuck!"

 

"Okay," Natasha joked before asking seriously, "You forgot to take clothes from the bedroom, didn't you?"

 

Carol pouted, "Yeah…"

 

"I'll get them."

 

She heard a shy thanks as she stepped out of the room and went to get her some clothes. They didn't take much, they were there for three days so the only clothes that were kinda clean were the sweatpants Carol used as her pyjamas, the T-shirt she wore the day before and the sweater Natasha took from her bag earlier in the morning. It was better than going back in her underwear to take care of the kids do Natasha picked them and gave them to Carol before going downstairs.

 

Lila and Cooper were so absorbed in the cartoon on the television that they didn't notice that Natasha was back and neither did they move a bit when Carol joined.

 

They were allowed an hour and a half of TV per day, that was a rule their parents established and the two Avengers were going to respect that. Considering that they would have a long dinner for Natasha's birthday, they would go straight to bed and not watch TV in the evening so Natasha figured that they could have their hour and a half all at once now.

 

It gave her and Carol time for themselves, which was really appreciated, only a few hours with these two little monsters was already exhausting.

 

"Can you imagine having to handle them everyday? It must be draining all your energy," Carol said as they stood in the kitchen, her fingertips running up and down the back of Natasha's forearms.

 

"Yeah, especially for Laura when Clint is away," Natasha noted.

 

Carol pulled Natasha close to her, "But he is often home now."

 

Natasha slowly nodded as she looked over to the kids, "You're right," she whispered before tiptoeing to capture Carol's lips. The blonde smiled as she felt Natasha's delicate hands reaching the back of her neck, gently adjusting the angle to slip her tongue in her mouth. As the redhead wrapped her arms around Carol's neck, the latter turned them over so her body – taller than Natasha's – was hiding them from the kids' sight.

 

They kept kissing until Carol felt the urge to carry Natasha upstairs to be in the privacy of their room for a more heated making out session. After a long sigh, she opened her eyes and her gaze met the emerald one, happiness and gratefulness shining through it. Carol kissed Natasha's nose before pulling her in her arms and whispered a soft I love you that Natasha didn't respond to.

 

They stood there for a long while, Natasha so comfortable in the warmth of Carol's body that she felt like she could fall asleep. But they were disturbed by Lila asking them for snacks, "We gotta wait for your mom and dad for that, sweetheart," Natasha told her before taking her in her arms, "but you know what? We could get it all ready now, they should come back soon."

 

Lila hysterically nodded in agreement and called her brother who joined right away and helped her with the cups. Meanwhile Natasha prepared the drinks and Carol tidied up the living room. The blonde also helped the kids choosing which snacks they would eat with their hot chocolates and they were all done just when their parents came back home.

 

The little girl ran to go greet her parents while Carol and Cooper brought the trays with the snacks and drinks to the living room. They all sat around the coffee table, Clint and his wife on a couch, Cooper close to them on the armchair while Lila insisted to sit on Natasha's lap on the other couch. After serving everybody, Carol sat with her girlfriend and pulled Lila onto her lap so she could see the other people around the table.

 

Both Carol and Natasha were curious about where Clint and Laura went, but asking them didn't feel right, if they wanted to talk about it they would. The parents asked how was their day, to the kids and the couple, but they never mentioned what they did during theirs, not until the kids left to go play in their rooms.

 

Carol was cleaning the dishes when Clint asked her to come back so they could talk together. His tone was grave, which made Natasha anxious, even more considering that they didn't want the kids to be around for this conversation.

 

Laura was the one to speak up first after she cleared her throat, "Okay, so I guess you two wonder what we were doing today?" she rhetorically asked, knowing that it was the case, while Carol was coming back to the living room and sat beside Natasha, their hands mindlessly finding one another, "Well, we were at the hospital, for an appointment, for an ultrasound."

 

Natasha and Carol shared a gaze, they were both confused, and of course Natasha imagined the worst.

 

But it was the opposite of that, "And turns out I'm three months pregnant!"

 

Before she knew it, Natasha was on her feet and hugging Laura, "Oh, my God, that's so great," she exclaimed joyfully, her eyes filling with tears of happiness.

 

"Congratulations," said Carol to Clint then Laura before they all sat back on their seats.

 

"It wasn't planned," Laura admitted, "we weren't thinking about having a third child considering that Coop will soon be eleven but it can only be good, right!"

 

"But three months already?" Carol asked.

 

"I started to have doubts a few weeks ago and I thought that we might as well go check directly with a doctor, that way we would be sure it's it and that everything is okay, and it is!"

 

Natasha's grin had never been this big, this news was the best of her life, and that fact that it was on her birthday made it even better, "I'm so happy for you two."

 

"And the best part is that because it was the three months ultrasound, the doc is almost sure of the sex," Clint told, "she said it's most likely a girl so we thought we would give her her godmother's name."

 

Natasha's jaw dropped but she wasn't sure she understood that right, "Happy birthday, Natasha." Laura said, confirming her hypothesis, but she somehow had a hard time believing it, "You- Really? You want to give my name to your daughter?"

 

For Natasha, her name would be a burden for this little girl, considering what she went through during her childhood. But they were going to call her Natasha, not Natalia, that was the name that haunted her, the name that lived hell and worse. Natasha was the woman who got away, who escaped hell with thousands of traumas but who was doing everything she could to get better, to survive them in order to live again, and Natasha was also the woman who found love, true unconditional love.

 

She could only wish this baby wouldn't have that much difficult stuff in her life, and if she did, she would have the name of a strong woman, a warrior who fought everyday to get a better life.

 

Both Clint and Laura nodded to tell her that they wanted to give her name to their child, that they will do it and it was enough for Natasha let her emotions take the best of her. The thank you she whispered was barely audible, and a moment later she was held in Carol's arms, "Aw baby," she cooed as she rubbed Natasha's back.

 

"We won't tell the kids today, that's the only birthday gift we thought about."

 

Sniffling, Natasha pulled out of the hug and looked at Laura, "It's the best birthday gift I could've dreamt of."

 

She stood up to give Laura and Clint another hug and congratulated them again for this amazing news. Then, the hosts told Carol and Natasha that they were handling the dinner and that they could go relax for a bit.

 

Natasha thought it was the moment Carol would choose for her other present, but they stayed in the living to watch TV, so she figured she would have to wait a little longer. Snuggling with Carol was all she wanted, it was what made her feel safe and loved, two things that she lacked for such a big part of her life that she had forgotten how good it was to feel them.

 

After ten minutes of watching a boring show, Carol received a call on her phone in which Natasha quickly got involved, "Hey, look who wanna talk to you," Carol told her as she handed her the phone, a FaceTime with Tony was going on.

 

"Romanoff, happy birthday!"

 

"Thank you, Tony," she replied, a bit surprised he made the effort to call her for that.

 

"Right! So you probably heard that Cap over there got a new suit from my generous self."

 

Natasha shook her head slightly as she laughed, "Yes, I heard."

 

"Great! Well, since you two are besties, I figured that you should match, thus I made this," he said and showed with his phone a brand new suit with Widow's bites on each wrists, the Avengers logo on the shoulder and the classic Black Widow symbol on her belt.

 

Natasha barely acknowledged the fact that he said that she and Carol were besties again – even if it made the blonde laugh out loud – and warmly thanked him for it, promising she would try it on when they would be back.

 

After more chatter and another birthday wishing, Tony excused himself and hang up the call.

 

Dinner was soon ready after that and with it the kids went back from their rooms. For a moment, Carol and Natasha forgot that it wasn't their task to take care of them anymore, but when Clint replaced them they quickly remembered how great it was to not have to check on them every ten seconds.

 

Laura and Clint cooked Natasha's favourite food, and even ordered her favourite cake last minute for dessert. The kids offered her drawings that they made earlier, and she promised that she would put them up in her room in the Avengers tower.

 

Again, the married couple told the other couple in the house to go enjoy themselves while they would wash the dishes, which Carol really appreciated considering she still had this little something for Natasha.

 

When they entered their room, she didn't waste a minute and went to her bag to get the one thing she needed.

 

"So…" Natasha began as Carol was searching something in her bag, "you said you had one more thing for me."

 

She approached her, and just when she was at her level, Carol got up, a smirk on her face as she hid her hands behind her back, "What's in your hands?" Natasha asked as she tried to slid her hands along Carol's arms, but the blonde stopped her, "You gotta take that off first," she ordered as she nodded at Natasha's tank top.

 

Natasha chuckled, "You always wanna see me naked, don't you?"

 

"It will just be better if you take it off."

 

"I'm not taking it off if you don't tell me what's in your hands," Natasha stated.

 

After a sharp sigh, Carol tuned around, Natasha glimpsing the shape of a bottle in her hands but didn't find out what was inside. Natasha impatient laughters not enough to make her flinch, Carol kept a hand in her back as she tugged Natasha's clothes with the other, "You will love it, just trust me," she whispered as she slipped her hand under the tank top and Natasha bit her bottom lip as Carol's cold hand caressed her abs, sending shivers down her spine.

 

With a tone so appealing, it was impossible for Natasha to refuse. Smiling, she stared at her girlfriend and took off her tank top, but kept her bra. Carol grinned as she stepped closer, looking up and down her girlfriend with no shame until she was at reach and pulled her by her waist, "You know, you are very, very sexy."

 

Natasha chuckled against Carol's lips as she pulled her into a kiss, and when they broke apart, both her hands weren't in her back anymore, "Is that massage oil?" Natasha asked as she inspected the bottle in front of her.

 

Carol nodded, "Uh-huh. You are getting a full body massage. Feet, head and back."

 

Smirking, Natasha tiptoed to whisper to Carol's ear, "That's not full body," she said with a mischievous tone before looking down at her breasts. Carol followed her eyes and let out a short laughter, "I figured we could… maybe wait until we get back to the tower for that," she flirted back as she took a step forward, pushing Natasha towards the bed.

 

"Right, I guess I can manage to wait a little bit," Natasha replied before sitting down on the bed, "so… feet first, please."

 

Carol complied in a second, pouring massage oil on her hand before starting to rub the sole of Natasha's feet. Natasha quickly relaxed and moved further into the bed, resting her back against the headboard, all the muscles in her legs soothed by Carol applying pressure on the right spot of her feet.

 

When she was done, Carol went to wash her hands and came back for the head massage, just like she did a few months ago when Natasha was in her bath. This time, the redhead laid down on the bed and rested her head on Carol's lap as the latter sat behind her. This massage was her favourite, she had never realised how much her scalp hurt until the last time Carol did this to her. She couldn't think about anything else than the fingers rubbing her head, how perfectly the motions were done to make her feel good, relaxed and at one with her body.

 

Carol was about to stop and go on to the last part when Natasha asked her for extra-time and the blonde gladly obliged. After five more minutes, she asked Natasha if she could move on to her back and, when she said yes, Carol captured Natasha's lips for an upside down kiss.

 

Before the last part of the massage, Carol wanted to have her fun and started to kiss Natasha's back. The redhead enjoyed it more than the head massage, her hums of please motivating Carol to keep going. She started by the small of her back and then climbed up her spine, goosebumps forming all over Natasha's skin as she finally reached her neck.

 

After a kiss on her cheek, Carol unhooked Natasha's bra and poured massage oil onto her back. She began at her shoulders that were still very tensed despite the two previous massages that soothed Natasha entirely. She felt the knots of her muscles disappearing as she keenly rubbed them away, the gentle circles traced by her thumbs quickly effective. Then, she massaged the rest of Natasha's back, her fingers sliding up and down her spine, more delicate on her shoulder blades and ribs but still perfect for the redhead to be sent in Heaven.

 

The back rub was as long as the other two combined, which made the entire activity last an hour but Carol didn't mind, it was for Natasha's well being, she could do it for days if it was what she needed.

 

Once again asking the redhead if she should continue or stop, Carol realised that the satisfied moans had stopped a few minutes ago and she wasn't surprised to find out that she had fallen asleep during the massage. Carol softly scoffed as watched her girlfriend steady breathing making her back rise and fall and kissed her temple before laying down beside her.

 

Because Natasha was in the middle of the bed, Carol struggled to find the right position but she eventually did and stared at her appeased features until her eyelids felt heavy and she drifted into sleep.

Notes:

I mixed Natasha's and Carol's POVs for this chapter without the usual limit thing because it felt right. For other chapters where Carol and Natasha are both there I might do it again, tell me if you liked it.

Chapter 27: Friendsgiving

Notes:

A chapter a little bit different than all the others because it is, for the majority of it, not from Carol's PoV nor Natasha's

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Another year, another thanksgiving at the tower.

 

It wasn't going to become a ritual, the persons that were there weren't the same as the year before but it was nice to be around friends again.

 

This time, only people that knew Carol and Natasha were a couple were there, minus Pepper who was with Tony in their house and Nick who was… well, officially dead but in reality doing who-knows-what somewhere. That meant that Sam, Clint and Laura flew from the capital to New York, the Bartons' kids at their grandparents' house for the weekend, Maria Hill, who had left before Natasha's birthday came back from her secret mission and Maria Rambeau was also there.

 

Carol was thrilled to see her, the last time she briefly encountered her was ten months ago, when she flew to Louisiana to get her suit, and since then they didn't talk a lot. They weren't supposed to, since what they had decided last Christmas, but Carol wanted to take it slowly, she couldn't just cut her best friend from her life overnight. She had to convince her to come, with an hour long phone call, but Maria eventually said yes, supposedly only because she had won her bet and that she wanted Carol to be at her disposition just like they had agreed on. Carol trusted her to not be too annoying with that, but she knew that she would get teased, and not only by this Maria, Hill was definitely going to give Carol a hard time too.

 

The trio of Avengers organised everything, tidying the rooms in which the guests would stay, planning and buying all they needed to make dinner and paying for the plane tickets – or rather Stark Industries did since Maria had access to one of the company bank account, the one dedicated to Avengers activities.

 

Natasha was going to pick up the Bartons, Maria and Sam while Maria and Carol were cooking. The made a very efficient team, they were organised and worked in great sync, nothing overcooked and it was all ready when everybody got there.

 


 

Maria was nervous. For some reasons, she felt like it was not her place to be at this "Friendsgiving" dinner, but Carol insisted so much that she gave in and accepted to come. It was weird for her because she was the only one who was just Carol's friend, the others were all friends with both Carol and Natasha.

 

Hopefully she had already met Natasha once and knew she was nice, even if the redhead wasn't at her best at the time. In the car while Natasha was driving them to the tower, she got to discover Sam, who she heard briefly about from Carol in the few text they exchanged, and he seemed to be a really nice guy, kind of her but with a penis she thought. Laura was a sweet woman too, her husband a bit annoying but he was Natasha's best friend and Carol liked him therefore he must be a good person too in some ways.

 

Her stress level increased when they parked and got out of the car. Maria was going to see Carol after ten months and what she told her the penultimate time they saw each other. She didn't know how the blonde would react, if she still wanted to move on like she told her to or if she had changed her mind.

 

But Carol greeted her like she always did, a warm hug and a grin, and then she introduced her to the other Maria, "This is gonna be complex," she joked as she shook Maria's hand.

 

"Just call me Hill," she told the whole group, "I'm used to it, it's no problem."

 

Maria – Hill – led all the guests to the living area where they would have the aperitif. Maria looked back as she started climbing the steps and chuckled as she saw that her best friend had found Natasha and was hugging her from behind and kissing her exposed neck. There would be a lot of little things like that during the evening, Maria knew it and was preparing herself to be disgusted by them and all their adorable behaviours.

 

When they reached the living room and its couches, there were already seven drinks on table, "Carol said she knew what y'all would want to drink so get your glass and sit where you want," Maria told them as she showed the empty seats, "In the meantime imma go and get the love birds," she added with a tone full of exasperation.

 

Maria scoffed as she saw Hill rolling her eyes, she too knew how annoying it could be to see people so in love like Carol and Natasha were.

 

She quickly found a seat on the same couch as Sam and started chatting with him as she fidgeted with her glass of mojito. Carol knew, in fact, what she was doing with their drinks, the two guys of the group seemed to be happy with their beers, Maria couldn't wait to taste the cocktail in her glass, Laura hadn't waited to start her drink and Hill left to the kitchen with hers.

 

The laughters coming from the stairs told Maria that the couple was on their way. They entered first, followed by Hill and her glass that she emptied on her way to the couches. She really seemed bothered by the happiness that radiated from Natasha and Carol but there was still something on her face, the tiniest smile on the corner of her life that told Maria that she was actually glad her friends were so in love and cheerful.

 

Carol refilled Hill's glass before they all drank to this Thanksgiving. Maria was slightly surprised that nobody started the tradition of saying what they were grateful for but she liked it that way, there wasn't a lot she was grateful for after the year she had and rather not mention it or think about it.

 

The conversation was easy, nothing Maria could not be a part to even if she didn't know half the people in the room. But she still didn't feel like she belonged in the middle of all these people, she was older than them and looked older, unlike Carol who one could think was the youngest in the room because of her non-ageing. Maria didn't mind being a bit uncomfortable as long as Carol was happy that she was there, and the blonde definitely was, she kept on including Maria in the conversation when she was stepping aside on purpose.

 

It was hard to admit, but Maria also accepted to come to show Carol that she didn't need her anymore, so she would finally do as they agreed on earlier in the year and move on. But she was stubborn and now that she had her best friend close, Carol wouldn't stop praising her and reminding them all that they'd known each other since before they were born. It was nice on the moment, Maria couldn't lie, she enjoyed it, but there was this voice in her head that was telling her that it was most likely their last moment together.

 

She wasn't a fool, she wasn't trying to avoid the inevitable like Carol was. Maria was a human, a normal ageing human who had already lived more than half of her life and she would eventually die one day. She hoped it wouldn't be too soon, but it was coming and Carol was far from ready for that, that was why Maria was trying to put some distance between them. Of course she would still be hurt when Maria would die even if she moved on, but it would be less painful than if they kept being best friends like they used to be in the 80s. At some point in the evening, Maria would have a conversation with Carol about it, but now was not the time.

 

Now was the moment to be disgusted by the couple, by Natasha's hand shamelessly stroking Carol's thigh as the blonde told her best jokes or by Carol giving Natasha's cheek and forehead a kiss every minute.

 

Maria supposed it must complicated for them to hide when Stark and others that didn't know about their relationship were there, she knew that Carol hated to, that it took all her strengths not to kiss the redhead whenever she wanted but it was also their own choice to keep it a secret, choice that Maria still didn't understand.

 

Every now and then, she would glare at her best friend or roll her eyes, the other woman chuckling each time she saw her expressing her annoyance, which made it worse, Maria's attempts to bother Carol didn't work anymore. She was too happy to care, so if she really wanted to be a pain in her ass, Maria must elevate her game.

 

And she was going to, during dinner. They were all done with their drinks but Clint when Hill invited them to the table before leaving for the kitchen with Carol.

 

Maria observed the guests as they sat around the lovely set table, and when they all found the right place Maria took the seat opposite to Natasha. The latter didn't object and there was a plate set at the edge of the table were, Maria presumed, Carol would sit. Waiting for the food to come, they chatted together, Natasha asking Maria what she was doing in her days. It wasn't that hard of a question, she was retired from the air force, retired from being a mechanics and she fixed engines from time to time but she couldn't find the right way to put it into words. Before she managed to reply, Carol and Hill were back with the first course.

 

As anticipated, Carol sat at the edge of the table with Natasha and Maria, giving a kiss on the former's cheek before asking Sam, who was beside Maria, to pass her the wine. She poured some in Maria's glasses without asking before serving herself and handed the bottle to Clint.

 

"You don't drink, Natasha?" Maria asked.

 

The redhead chuckled as she shook her head no, "I had my glass for the evening. I'm gonna stick to water," she replied and gazed at Laura who wasn't drinking alcohol either and gave her the water. As she poured herself some water, Maria caught sight of Carol taking Natasha's hand in hers and wondered if there was more behind it but it wasn't her place to ask.

 

More questions came to her mind as they ate the first course, like since when did Clint and his wife know about Natasha's and Carol's relationship, the last update she had had about it was that Tony Stark's partner Pepper discovered it, and that was a few months back. She also realised very late that Carol was wearing a suit, like full on dressed up outfit with the shirt, the jacket, the bow tie and fancy shoes. It wasn't her type to dress like this, even if Thanksgiving was a special event, but she figured that she had changed since she and Natasha were dating. The blonde still looked great though, she was even gorgeous if Maria was being honest, but she wasn't going to tell her, she would enjoy it too much.

 

After a well done pumpkin soup that Maria had had the chance to taste in the past – it was Carol's secret recipe – Maria Hill left again with Sam this time to get the main course. Meanwhile, Carol refilled everybody's glasses and stopped Maria from taking a sip, which told her that the moment to toast was coming.

 

Sam and Hill came back with the stuffed turkey and mashed potatoes and they remained standing after they put it down the table, so Maria followed them and got on her feet.

 

"Alright!" Hill shouted and the rest of the people got up as well, "So, I don't really enjoy this tradition but I was asked to do it," she explained as she gazed at Natasha, "so… do the thing. Who wants to go first?"

 

They shared glances, all seeming to want to talk – but the Marias – but none of them did. After about ten second and Hill hiding her cringe of embarrassment in her glass, Sam finally spoke up, "Okay… I am grateful for a few things and people, but I might thank the person that is around the table, right."

 

Carol, who was standing beside Natasha for the moment, shyly smiled and blushed, a thing she rarely did, "Cap! I didn't think when we first met that you would ever come to the VA to see me, you seemed to have better things to do," he said with a smirk and looked at Natasha, "but you did, and now I've got new wonderful friends that I didn't know I wanted."

 

"Thanks Sam," Carol replied before they all drank a sip, "My turn then."

 

Staring at her best friend, Carol smiled before clearing her throat, and Maria felt like the worst would happen, "A lot of shit happened this year, it wasn't easy but it was also a year that gave me what I thought I would never have, love."

 

Maria had been wrong, and they all expressed their adoration to the couple as Carol turned to Natasha, "This year gave me you, as my girlfriend, which I never thought could be possible. There was crap but we went through it together and I'm ready to live worse if it means that I'm with you."

 

"So you are grateful for the year 2014?" Sam interrupted when Carol and Natasha were very close from kissing. The blonde scoffed as she gazed at him, "I guess I am, yes," she told him before raising her glass, and they all mimicked her, "To 2014!"

 

Laughters and glasses clinking filled the air as Carol and Natasha chastely kissed, and when they parted Maria couldn't stop herself from teasing the blonde with raised eyebrows.

 

"Is it Natasha's turn now?" Asked Hill when the calm was coming back.

 

The redhead looked down at her glass as with her other hand she was stroking Carol's and muttered, "I won't be original but," she began and looked up, "I'm really grateful for this one over there," she said louder and nodded at Carol.

 

"None of you guys can't imagine how important she is to me, how she makes my life a million times better everyday, just by being by my side. It's not something I thought I would have, a person that means so much to me, but now that I do, I'm really grateful I had the chance to meet her and I'm looking forward to spend the rest of my days with her."

 

Laura and Clint simultaneously started clapping as Natasha fell into Carol's arms. Maria's best friend filled with emotion, her eyes were red and when she closed them, a tear rolled down her cheek. Carol whispered something to Natasha's ear, that Maria didn't hear, but by the way her lips moved she guessed she said I love you. Natasha didn't reply but kissed Carol tenderly and when they parted, the blonde kissed Natasha's forehead.

 

After that, the Bartons had the floor and thanked their whole friends and family for all the love they received. Very much simple, less tears and emotion even if Natasha was still recovering from her words to Carol.

 

Maria Hill had a quick word for her late boss Fury, with a grave look to Natasha and Carol before asking Maria if she had anything to say. When she politely refused, not without a surprised gaze from Carol, Hill offered all the famished people to eat.

 

Carol and Natasha were even more adorable and annoying during the main course. They were feeding one another, finishing the other's sentences when they told stories and every time they could, they would hold hands. It was definitely cute and Maria was happy for her best friend but it was also something that she never wanted for herself and seeing this kind of little gestures always bothered her, even when it was Carol making them.

 

They were still annoyingly cute when they left the table to bring dessert and while eating it too but Maria wasn't going to say anything, she would just roll her eyes when Carol was looking at her, the rest of the time she let her enjoy her time with her lover.

 

One from an outside point of view could think that Maria was jealous of Natasha, but she really wasn't, she was happy for them, she just wasn't very comfortable around couple.

 

After this wonderful dinner, they all helped to clear the table. Carol offered them teas that they all accepted and they went to the living room while Maria stayed to help her. They prepared everything in a comfortable that was usual between them and found the five other people regrouped on one couch to take a picture with a Polaroid that Maria recognised very well, it used to be in her house.

 

The best friends served the hot drinks while they were trying to find the right way to sit on the couch to take the best picture. It was certainly the only moment Maria would have alone with Carol, sort of, so had to use it to talk with her, "So, she has your brother's Polaroid."

 

"You saw me taking it from my room," Carol replied coldly.

 

Her tone surprised Maria, "Yeah but I didn't think you'd give it to her."

 

"She is way better at it than I am."

 

"Sure," Maria chuckled, which caused Carol to frown, "What?"

 

"She really is the one, huh?" Maria said with a forced amused voice, try to calm the tense atmosphere that surrounded her and the blonde. It was odd to see Carol on the defence, especially when Maria wasn't joking or anything like this.

 

Carol eventually chuckled dryly, "Because she has Steve's Polaroid?"

 

"Because of that and all the things I've seen tonight and the other time when you weren't together yet," Maria explained, this time genuinely showing Carol that she was serious and cared about her happiness. Carol seemed to come to realisation after those words and gave Maria a thankful look, "You know you should be at my service, right? I won this bet," Maria added with a teasing smirk.

 

"But I won't be?"

 

Maria shook her head, "No, I have better things to do. But I'll remember that I was right forever."

 

"Of course you will," Carol laughed.

 

Maria would miss this laugh when she and Carol would finally do as they agreed to and stop seeing each other. She dreaded that moment, but she also believed it was necessary and had to remind Carol of it, "Go take pictures with your girlfriend, she is your future, not me."

 

"Maria…" Carol sighed, her features suddenly saddening.

 

"You know what we said. I don't think we should see each other again after this."

 

"I knew you'd say that," Carol said as she looked down at her hands. Maria didn't like to see her like this and moved closer to her to gently rub her back and comfort her, "That's why you insisted?"

 

"Yes, I wanted to have one last moment with you, and tell you that I'm grateful to have you and that even if we don't see each other, you will always be my best friend."

 

"And you, mine, Carol," Maria whispered. Her throat was sore and her eyes were watering, but she held her tears as she pulled Carol in her arms. Carol hugged her tightly like she always did, but this time there was something bittersweet in it, it was one of their last hugs, or perhaps their last.

 

Pulling out of a hug had never been easy, but tonight it was the most difficult thing Maria had had to do in her life. Even when she tried to, Carol wasn't ready and kept holding her, until Maria tapped her back and she did, not without a loud sigh, "Now go," Maria told Carol with a half smile.

 

She was both telling her to go take pictures with her friends and to move on with her life and forget her. They both knew these two words meant a lot, and Carol gave them five more seconds to breathe before giving Maria a smile and left the couch to go to the one where her friends were.

 

Maria watched them shouting and loudly laughing as Carol joined them and laid down on their laps to be on the photo. Natasha was about to take it when she looked back at Maria and called her out, "Whatcha doing back there? Come on, I want a pic of us all for my collection."

 

Not asking further question, Maria sat on the armrest beside Sam, her hand finding Carol's shoulder as she moved closer and rested her head on Maria's thigh. After two unsuccessful attempts, Natasha took the perfect picture of them all, grins on everybody's faces and peace and rock'n'roll signs made by Carol and Sam while Laura and Natasha stuck their tongues out.

 

The atmosphere got calmer after that, Laura and Clint quickly drank their teas before going to bed, Hill excused herself soon after, work stuff early the next day, and it was just Maria, Sam and the couple. Natasha snuggled up to Carol after finishing her drink, her hand slid under Carol's suit jacket as she rested her head on her chest. Meanwhile Carol was talking to Sam, both her arms extended on the top of the couch's back rest.

 

They were so comfortable together, it reassured Maria. She wouldn't have been thrilled to let Carol move on if she didn't have Natasha, but these two were meant to be together and every minute of the evening proved it.

 

Seeing the Polaroid on the coffee table and Natasha seemingly dozing off, Maria decided to capture the moment. From her angle, she could see Natasha's face completely, her nose slightly scrunching as Sam laughed too loudly. When Maria took the picture, Carol glanced at her and smiled before looking down at her girlfriend. Maria waited for the picture to dry because moving to Carol's and Natasha's couch and showed it the blonde. Natasha, who wasn't totally asleep, looked at the picture and muttered something about a private collection before closing her eyes again.

 

They chattered for a little while longer before Carol noticed the time and said that she and Natasha must get to bed soon. Maria was about to offer her help to clean all up when Sam bested her and accompanied Carol to the kitchen.

 

It left a sleepy Natasha and Maria alone in the living room. The redhead was just waiting for Carol to come back, so Maria thought she might as well leave and go to her room for the night, but Natasha actually spoke up, "Hey… I have a… weird question."

 

Maria didn't think Natasha Romanoff was the kind of person to be hesitant but she didn't mention it, "Shoot."

 

"Were you and Carol ever a couple?"

 

Maria chuckled, this was the silliest question she had ever been asked. Amused, she grinned but realised that Natasha wasn't kidding, "Oh wait, you are serious," she cleared her throat, "No, I'm not into romantic relationship, I never have been," she clarified and saw the redhead's features softening.

 

"Oh! Okay," she said with a high pitched voice, definitely relieved by the news, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be intrusive or to sound like I was jealous, I'm glad she has you."

 

"And I'm gladder she has you. You really are the most important thing in her life, she'd put you above everything, even me. You are a part of her now and she won't ever let you go."

 

Natasha's eyes widened for a second, "Wow!" she exclaimed before licking her lips, "That's… a lot."

 

"I mean, you did say you wanted to spend the rest of your days with her earlier so…"

 

"Yeah but I have more difficulties hearing those kind of things than saying them."

 

Maria laughed, "Thus Carol telling you she loves you, to get you used to it."

 

Natasha laughed too, "It's funny because I'm aware that you and Carol are best friends but I'm still so surprised by how perfectly you know her."

 

"And so do you, yeah? You knew why she does that?"

 

"Yes," Natasha sighed, "And for some reasons I can't get myself to say it back."

 

"Well, for that I can't help you. All I can say is that she knows, since the day you kissed her, she felt it."

 

Natasha nodded before her attention got drawn by footsteps coming from the stairs. They both got up and saw Carol arriving with a smile on her lips, "May we walk you to your room?" she asks as Natasha patted Maria's shoulder.

 

"Okay, let's go."

 

Carol and Natasha led the way and Maria followed them, a few step back so she could observe them. The truth was that all evening long she enjoyed seeing them together, as much as it annoyed her, because they were two people who had had a difficult life and who found the person that made them happy, they found the right fit. Maria never dreamt of that but she knew Carol did, for most of her life there was this thing missing, this person that she would love more than anybody else and now that she had it, she had Natasha, Maria was sure that she would never let her go.

 

When they reached Maria's room, the latter went inside while the couple waited at the door, "It was great to have you here with us," Natasha told her before stepping in for a good night hug.

 

"A pleasure to be there," she replied before Carol pulled her in her arms as she giggled.

 

As they became silent, Maria felt Carol's hold tightening, "I'm gonna miss you," the blonde whispered before pulling out.

 

Maria replied with a nod that meant a lot, me too, I love you, take care, and more, and she wished them a good night and closed the door.

 


 

Natasha was already in bed, waiting for Carol to join her when the latter's phone rang. Natasha took it and brought it to the blonde who was still brushing her teeth in the bathroom.

 

She stayed with her, hugged her from behind while Carol read the text and got intrigued when she didn't move a bit for half a minute, "Everything's alright?" she asked as she looked over Carol's shoulder and glimpsed the screen of her phone.

 

"Um… yeah. Just Maria reminding me that it was the last time I'd see her," explained Carol in a pained whisper as she put her toothbrush and phone down.

 

"What?"

 

Carol span to face Natasha and leaned against the sink, "We just… agreed that I had to move on, remember I told you when you came to her place that we thought it was best for me to move on from my previous life, well now is the time."

 

"I- I didn't think you were actually doing it. You barely talked to me about her since you came back."

 

"Because I barely talked to her at all," Carol said as she looked down at her feet, "I sent her texts, updated her on what was going on in my life but she never answered," Natasha saw the tears in Carol's eyes and stepped closer to cup her cheeks, "I stopped texting her about a month ago but after your birthday I wanted to see her so I called. I really thought she wouldn't answer but when she did I argued with her for an hour before she said yes."

 

"Carol, you should have told me."

 

"I didn't want to because she says I have to forget her and live my life with you and I know you'd feel guilty about it," the blonde said and Natasha looked down, "See, you feel guilty."

 

"No. I was just think about something she told me," Natasha began as her gaze met Carol's, "she said I was a part of you, which is a lot of pressure and I… I didn't think she was saying it because you two weren't going to talk anymore, but I guess she was giving me her place or something."

 

"She probably was."

 

"But I don't want to replace her. She is your best friend and I-"

 

"And you are the most important person to me," Carol whispered as she took Natasha's hands, "She used to be it and now it's you."

 

"It's a tough spot to fill."

 

Carol smiled, "But you are doing it beautifully."

 

If Natasha's wasn't too afraid, she would have told Carol how much she loved her, instead she showed it. She freed her hands from Carol's and threw her arms around her neck as she captured her lips. The blonde tugged her shorts to press their bodies together before her hands slid on Natasha's ass. Natasha chuckled as Carol lightly squeeze her ass and adjusted her head with her hand on Carol's jaw to slip her tongue in her mouth.

 

Natasha didn't mean to start a whole making out session, especially at this time of the night, but that was how much she loved Carol and there was no better way to express it.

 

They eventually slowed down, their tongues only teasing the other's lips until they exchanged one last tender kiss and pulled away. Their gazes met before Natasha closed her eyes again and nuzzled Carol's nose. She traced circles in the back of Carol's neck while she held her close and eventually lightly nudged her forehead.

 

Smiling, Natasha opened her emerald eyes and found her girlfriend grinning, this adorable grin she had when she was about to tell her that she loved her.

 

Carol pressed her lips together to hide it, but it can back when the words escaped her mouth, "I love you too."

Notes:

So yeah I said Maria Rambeau aromantic and I love that headcanon

Chapter 28: Christmas Eve

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It wasn't just a cliché, waking up next to the love of your life was in fact one of the best feeling ever, especially on Christmas Eve. And for once, Natasha woke up first, unlike ninety nine percent of their mornings where she woke up and her first sight was Carol on her phone or staring at her. This morning, she was the one who would have to wait until her lover would wake up.

 

Natasha had three options there; going through her phone, not exciting at all, staring at Carol and dying inside because of how cute she was, better, or discreetly getting out of bed to make her breakfast and pay back for all the time the blonde did it for her, genius idea.

 

Getting out of bed was easy, when Carol was asleep nothing could awake her except her alarm clock or Natasha's stirring when she had nightmares. On the way to the exit of the room, Natasha took a hoodie that had been there for weeks – and deserved to be washed – and put it on as she made her way to the kitchen.

 

The couple was alone in the tower for Christmas, Tony was at his house with Pepper and invited Bruce, Clint was with his family in Washington, Sam too stayed home and Maria went somewhere but didn't tell where. Clint did ask them if they wanted to spend the holiday with the Bartons in his house but Carol and Natasha both agreed that they wanted this moment to be just them so they stayed in New York.

 

It was true that Natasha wasn't the best cook of the tower, she might even be the worst, but she knew exactly what Carol liked for breakfast and it didn't seem to be too much for her cooking skills. First, she put water in a kettle for the tea and while it heated up she picked what kind of tea she would brew. Then, she toasted some sliced bread on which she spread strawberry and blueberry jams, Carol's favourite flavours. She finished by pouring apple juice in a glass for the blonde and also took one glass of orange juice for herself.

 

Everything went well, which was really a magical event considering what happened the last time Natasha tried to make something to eat, so she didn't waste any time and went back to Carol's room with the tray.

 

The door automatically opened when she approached it and Natasha discreetly thanked Jarvis before stepping towards the bed. The AI also turned on a soft light that helped Natasha seeing Carol, still asleep in their bed. The redhead put the tray down before climbing onto the bed and proceeded to wake up her girlfriend.

 

That might be the hardest part, but Natasha never really tried to wake her up with kisses so maybe it would work. She began by moving away the golden strands of hair that were covering her face and then kissed her temple. This first attempt didn't work, not very surprising, but Natasha was not done and had new things to try. As her hand ran through Carol's hair, Natasha leaned in and murmured to her ear, but again the blonde didn't wake up. In a last try, Natasha pressed her lips on this spot that Carol loved so much under her ear, and this time she whimpered in response before rolling onto her back.

 

"Hey there," Natasha whispered as Carol rubbed her eyes, "Look what I made for you," she added and put the tray on Carol's lap.

 

With a long hum of struggle, Carol sat up and took a look at the food in front of her. Then, she glanced at Natasha with amazement shining through her still sleepy eyes and back to the tray, "You made this?" she asked in disbelief.

 

"Uh-huh, and I didn't burn the whole kitchen down."

 

"Aw, baby, that's so nice, thank you," Carol purred before her hand found Natasha's jaw to pull her into a kiss, "There is some for you on this?"

 

"Yes, except if you need two cups to drink tea," Natasha replied before sitting down beside Carol.

 

They spend the rest of the day in Carol's room, they shower together and the rest of the time they were in bed, cuddling, making out and cuddling again until it was time for dinner.

 

Carol got up suddenly when she noticed it was almost seven PM but Natasha stopped her, "I know you made me breakfast this morning but dinner won't magically appear in our plates," Carol told the redhead as she pulled her back in bed.

 

"Actually it will, everything's handled," Natasha said with a mischievous smile, "you just have to put more than just your underwear on your ass and we'll be good."

 

Carol was intrigued but did as she was asked and went to her bathroom to change. Meanwhile, Natasha went to her own room and put on a white shirt, a black skirt and red lipstick before checking if her Christmas gift was still hidden in her dressing room. She found it exactly where she put it and took it with her to the dinner room where she hid it again.

 

They had agreed to not offer presents this year, having the other with them was completely enough but Natasha thought that with this gift, Carol would feel like Natasha was even more hers so it was okay to break the rule. She was also a hundred percent sure that Carol didn't respect their agreement either considering how on edge she was every time Natasha entered her dressing room, where must be what she had gotten for her.

 

The present hidden and the table already set by the team Natasha hired to make them dinner, she had nothing else to do than wait for her girlfriend to join her.

 

Seeing a bottle of wine on the table, Natasha groaned, she had told these people to not serve them alcohol but the bottle had already been opened. It seemed to be an expansive wine so, instead of throwing it in the trash, Natasha poured herself a glass and let the rest that Carol would drink during dinner.

 

With her filled glass, Natasha went to the windows and leaned on the barrier as she observed the city and its buildings and drank her wine.

 

Since her breakdown, Natasha had tremendously reduced her consumption of alcohol, and the last time she had had some was at thanksgiving, she had allowed herself a single glass for the occasion. She knew it wasn't the alcohol that was the cause of her bad mood but still stopped drinking because it did have an impact on her behaviour that day. Carol also slowed down alcoholic beverages with the redhead to support her, and because it wasn't good for anyone's body, not even her.

 

Natasha was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice that music had started playing in the background until Carol joined her at the window and hugged her from behind, "Drinking without me, I see," she said before kissing Natasha's cheek, and then her neck.

 

"I said no wine but there's a bottle on the table so I took a glass," Natasha explained before finishing her drink.

 

Carol giggled against Natasha's temple before pressing her lips on her skin, "I wasn't scolding you."

 

In a smooth motion, Carol took the glass away from Natasha, put it down and pulled the redhead in the middle of the living room. The blonde started dancing on the upbeat music and, after a mocking laughter, Natasha accompanied her in her crazy moves. Maybe she didn't inherit of the cooking skills in this couple, but at least Natasha was the one who could decently dance while Carol looked more like she was punching bad guys than following the beat of the song. But she was the most adorable person when she was dancing and Natasha loved how she shamelessly did it, knowing that she was doing it like shit but still enjoying every second of it.

 

The song eventually came to an end, and the next to play was one Natasha had known for so long that she didn't even remember when she first heard it. As Carol pulled her closer and began to slow dance, a chuckled escaped Natasha's mouth, "This song is not romantic at all, you know."

 

"How could I, you are the one who speaks Russian," Carol replied before pressing her forehead against Natasha's, "What does it say?"

 

Natasha sighed as she tried to listened to the lyrics but the sound wasn't loud enough, "Not sure, but it's a lullaby."

 

"Russian sounds beautiful," Carol mumbled as they rocked slowly, "Tell me something in Russian."

 

"ты моя," Natasha said with a smirk and Carol giggled, "I'm yours, huh?"

 

Natasha suddenly stopped to dance and furrowed her eyebrows, "How do you-"

 

"I was a US air force pilot during the cold war, Natasha. I had to learn the language, I lost a lot of it but I guess I still remember a some things."

 

It shouldn't be a surprise, Carol had acquired many skills in her life, speaking Russian could be one of them, but it never came to Natasha's mind, "Let's see what you know."

 

Slow dancing again, Natasha thought of a few things not too complicated that she could ask, "красавица."

 

"Easy, that's your favourite nickname, beautiful."

 

Natasha rolled her eyes but continued, "любимая."

 

Carol frowned, "Uh… No idea."

 

"Lover," Natasha whispered and pecked Carol's lips, "Now, любовь моя."

 

"Is it my love?"

 

Natasha smiled as she moved her hands to Carol's cheeks, "It is."

 

"Now, my turn. How do you say baby?"

 

"малыш," Natasha replied.

 

Carol tried to repeat it but she didn't quite get it. Natasha didn't tell her though, it was so cute to see her trying, she couldn't mock her for having a bad accent in a language she didn't know how to speak.

 

"What about I love you," Carol asked and pursed her lips, but it wasn't enough for Natasha to not see her smile behind this bad hiding technique.

 

It was a smart attempt to get Natasha to say I love you, but she was still not ready for these words to leave her mouth, whatever was the language she would use to say them, "ты любишь меня," she said instead.

 

Not proud of lying, especially since Carol couldn't understand it, Natasha looked away, but the blonde gently cupped her cheek and smiled, "Я тебя люблю," she enunciated perfectly and kissed Natasha's lips, "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to trick you into saying it, I j-"

 

"I know," Natasha interrupted in a soft whisper, "at least now you know how to say you love me, моя."

 

"I'm starting to like it when you call me yours," Carol laughed before pulling Natasha into a passionate kiss. They kept the other close as they tightened their holds, Natasha's hands in the back of Carol's neck preventing her to pull away. They both smiled so much into the kiss that it became all messy and then it was just pecks before Natasha eventually let go and broke the kiss.

 

"We should go eat," Natasha told Carol as she was still holding her closely.

 

When they arrived at the table, the food was already served and it smelt delicious. Carol pulled Natasha's chair before sitting on hers and watched the redhead as she started to eat. Natasha didn't mind being stared at by Carol, but the chef she hired was expansive and she was going to waste the food if she let it get cold.

 

"Carol?"

 

The blonde blinked before taking her fork and started eating, but she still seemed to be somewhere else, "Whatever is on your mind, you can tell me. I'm sure it's fine."

 

"When are you going to tell the others about us?" she blurted out and looked away.

 

Natasha put down her cutlery and took Carol's hand, "I don't know… I'd be okay telling Tony but he will shout about it everywhere and I don't trust Bruce yet, so I don't want him to know."

 

Carol laughed at the Tony part, because she knew Natasha was right, Tony would be very annoying about it, "About Bruce… do you think we will ever try the thing?"

 

The thing was Natasha trying to help him turn back into himself, and for that she had an answer, "Since Tony and I have been talking about what happened to us here," in New York because of Loki, "I feel more ready to do it. We can give it a try I think."

 

Carol gave Natasha's hand a gentle squeeze before taking her fork again, "And the rest?"

 

In the middle of a mouthful of vegetables, Natasha used this time to think about how explaining what she figured out with Tony during their talks, "I think I need to take it slowly, one problem at a time. We went from Bruce to them and Bruce again and then my fear of love… and it fixed nothing, so I think I should focus on Bruce first, them later."

 

"What about your fear of love?" Carol asked with a smirk.

 

Natasha scoffed, she didn't mean to mention that, but it was still something that she wanted to fix. She wanted to be able to tell Carol I love you, and she also needed to accept that her girlfriend was not going anywhere, but she had such a hard time believing it.

 

It helped to hear it regularly though, and Natasha wanted to thank Carol for that, "I think you are doing great with that, just keep going," she said and winked.

 

They went back to eating, chatting about less serious stuff like going to a concert together one day or getting a pet. The meal was great, they both agreed on it, even though Carol stated that she could have done it herself.

 

After the main course, the chef told them they would have to wait twenty minutes before dessert would be ready. Hearing that, Carol excused herself and went to her room. Natasha was intrigued but let her go and decided to not follow her after a quick debate with herself.

 

When she came back, Carol had her hands in her back and was wearing this little full of guilt smile, "I know we said that we would not get presents but I saw this in a store front and I just had to…"

 

Carol put a small box in front of Natasha before sitting on the chair beside her, "You know Christmas is tomorrow, right?" Natasha joked as she analysed the shape of the box.

 

"I know, that's why you get it now, that way it's not really a Christmas present."

 

Natasha chuckled at Carol's way of thinking and took the box. Her hand hovered over it and she looked at Carol as she opened it, just to create more longing, and then gazed at its content. There were two silver chains, bracelets considering their length, and a small stone at the middle.

 

"I figured it would be nice for us to have matching jewellery, and I know you love bracelets so-"

 

"It's perfect," Natasha cut off, "I love it," she added before leaning in to kiss Carol's lips. The blonde smiled as she took one of the chains and wordlessly asked Natasha for her forearm to put it on. Then, Natasha did the same for Carol, she tied the bracelet on her left wrist, hers being on her right. She didn't realise directly that Carol took her right wrist despite it being at the opposite of her because Carol was right handed, and Natasha was left handed, they were wearing it on the other's strong hand.

 

Natasha thought about her own gift, hidden behind the giant Christmas tree a few metres away but it didn't feel like the right time to let Carol open it. Instead, she kissed the blonde another time before she went back to her seat in front of her, and they started chatting again.

 

"You're really getting used to wear blouses, aren't you?" she flirted as she looked her girlfriend up and down.

 

Carol was wearing a white blouse similar to the one she owned before she and Natasha met, but this one she bought after Thanksgiving when she suddenly wanted a new one. This one was more form-hugging, which Natasha really enjoyed, because of course Carol was not wearing a bra underneath it. She probably didn't do it on purpose, but the outfit Carol was wearing was really turning Natasha on, something that was becoming easier now that Natasha was getting more confident with herself and her body. However, she wasn't going to tell her, she was keeping it for herself until the moment she would give Carol her Christmas present.

 

The waiter eventually brought them dessert, that Carol ate way too fast because Yule log was her favourite dessert of all the planets she had been on and mint her favourite flavour of ice cream, flavour that Natasha picked knowingly to make her happy.

 

It was still early when they finished eating so they went to the living area for more chatters and cuddles as the people Natasha hired washed the dishes and cleaned everything up.

 

On the way, Carol laid hands on a box of chocolates that she opened for them to eat as they talked, "God how good it is to be there with you," Carol sighed as slouched in the couch, Natasha joining her when she was in the right position, "We are always here together, Carol."

 

"I meant in this living room where I can kiss you because nobody else is around."

 

"Actually, Jarvis is around," Natasha corrected, "How are you doing Jarvis?"

 

"Good, and you Miss Romanoff, are you enjoying your evening with Miss Danvers?" the AI asked.

 

"Yes, I'm having a great time. Merry Christmas, Jarvis."

 

"Merry Christmas," the bot mirrored.

 

Carol, who had been grinning for the whole exchange, let out a laughter, "You love this bot more than you love me," she joked.

 

"That's impossible and you know it."

 

Carol hummed in response before leaning in Natasha's neck and left opened mouthed kisses on her skin. The redhead leaned into the touch and closed her eyes as Carol reached her pierced ear.

 

"Do they have a meaning?" Carol suddenly asked as she brushed her girlfriend's ear with her nose. Natasha looked back with a raised eyebrow, wordlessly telling the blonde that she must clarify her question, "Your piercings? Why do you have them?"

 

This was a question she thought she would have to answer sooner in their relationship, but she was glad it took so long, because the thought hurt and right now she was in a good enough mood to talk about it, "It's um… for the girls they made me kill."

 

Carol gasped as she glanced at Natasha's left ear again, the redhead could tell she was counting them, the ten rings that Natasha only rarely took off, "God…" Carol eventually breathed as she started rubbing Natasha's back, "Yeah… I- I did it when I got out, one for each of them. I just- I want to remember them, you know."

 

"Yeah," Carol whispered before pulling Natasha into her arms, "It's a great tribute to them."

 

What she didn't tell Carol was that she remembered exactly how she killed them, every single moment when she had to choose between killing them to survive or to let them go and get herself killed cold heartedly by one of Madam B's mercenary, she remembered them, she was haunted by those memories. And how could one not be, being forced to kill at a young age, for your survival, it was the most traumatic experience one could live.

 

She remembered how easy it had been the first time, how proud of herself she had been because she didn't realise what she had done, she didn't realise that she wasn't going to see that little girl again after she had broken her neck because she was as young as her and didn't know what it meant to die. She remembered the day she was put against her best friend in her year, a girl named like her, but with a y instead of the i. They were the best of their group, they fought for almost an hour, Natasha thought a couple of times that she would get killed, but Natalya never could and the third time she was in position to kill the redhead, she refused, and Madam B gave a gun to Natasha and she shot her. If she hadn't done it, Madam B would have done it for her, so she rather do it to not give that awful woman this satisfaction.

 

Her last fight was the one for the ultimate price, she was finally getting out of the Red Room if she won, which was hers and the other girl's goal since they got abducted. It was the biggest event of the year, Natasha had been to all of those fights before it was her turn and never thought she would get to it. But she did and she had one last person to kill before being freed from these walls. She and this other girl were sisters, they had been raised together but that night, they were sworn enemies and fought for hours for their survivals. Younger girls were spectating, Yelena was there, or was it her? Natasha wasn't sure because she hadn't seen her in years, this little six years old had grew into a teen and would soon be a woman. Natasha wasn't sure but she liked to think it was her, cheering for her and happily screaming when she won. She even got a quick hug from her before she was taken away for the ceremony, but nothing confirmed that it was her little sister.

 

These memories were probably the worst Natasha had and she wasn't ready to share them with the love of her life, even if she knew all about it. Telling her would make it real and she couldn't do it, she didn't want Carol to see her like a monster who killed so many people to survive, it was her biggest shame.

 

Carol understood that hopefully and was doing all she could to support her, offering chocolates that Natasha gladly accepted. This woman always had the word to make Natasha laugh, even when she was sad. She was very smart, but she could be such an idiot some times, and all those moments were moments of fun for Natasha. She loved this about her, despite all her life experience, Carol was still a child in her head most of the time and it brought the redhead a lot of most needed joy.

 

Her brain was working like no one else's – might be the mix of Kree blood, human DNA and Tesseract power – and every time it had to it found the best thing to say, "Remember when we were going to Camp Lehigh and I woke you up in the car?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"You said for once you were dreaming and I never got to know what you dreamt about," Carol pouted to soften her girlfriend and it always worked, as much as Natasha tried to resist.

 

With a sigh, she sat up and told her dream, "I dreamt about us… I basically relived our first kiss over and over again while I was asleep."

 

"So it was about me!" Carol exclaimed, "You lied to me, Miss Romanoff!"

 

"What was I supposed to do, tell you the truth?" she shrugged, "doesn't sound like the best way to tell you I liked you. And knowing you, you would have been so out of what we were doing we would have died in this bunker."

 

"Well, that's true, if you had told me that day I don't know how I would've reacted."

 

"Did you ever… dream about it?" Natasha asked shyly.

 

Carol chuckled, "I dreamt about us kissing before we were together, and I think it was my only dream when I was in Europe with Sam," she told her softly before kissing her temple, "there is nothing better than kissing you, baby."

 

"Not even fucking me?" Natasha asked as she turned around and straddled Carol's lap, "That's close second. You really are the best kisser ever, Natasha."

 

Smirking, Natasha leaned closer to Carol and brushed her lips before stand up and went to the Christmas tree. She heard Carol whining as she walked away and then gasped with excitement when she came back with a wrapped box, "I see we both didn't respect the rule."

 

Natasha didn't reply and gave the present to Carol that she hastened to open and took off the top of it to discover a bright red laced sexy lingerie, its colour matching Natasha's lipstick perfectly. Pursing her lips, Carol looked at Natasha, "That's for me?"

 

Natasha licked her lips before leaning in and kissed Carol as she took the box, "Sort of."

 

Before Carol could say something, Natasha walked away with the box. She took the elevator and made sure the door would be closed before Carol could catch up, a shit eating smirk on her face as the door closed on her. Going to her room, Natasha couldn't stop imagining how much Carol must be frustrated right now and how turned on she would soon be.

 

In her bathroom, she quickly took off her clothes to put on this body and some perfume. Since her birthday, Natasha had felt more at once with her body and she wanted to thank Carol for that, because she was the main reason she was getting confident. When she had tried this on in the shop, Natasha didn't feel like she had expected but she didn't feel bad either so she hoped that wearing it for Carol would change it. She wanted to be sexy for her, to feel sexy for her, she was the only person that ever made her feel that way.

 

Her reflection in the mirror was more appealing this time than it had been in the store, probably because Natasha was turned on herself and couldn't wait for Carol to see her.

 

When she exited the bathroom, Natasha wasn't surprised to find Carol sitting at the edge of her bed. She was suddenly dumbstruck, her eyes and mouth wide opened as Natasha slowly approached her. Seeing that the blonde could still not say a thing, Natasha guided her to the other side of the bed, Carol lightly gasping as her back found the headboard. Again, Natasha straddled Carol's lap and started unbuttoning her blouse.

 

When she reached her breasts, Carol suddenly reacted and she ran her hands up and down Natasha thighs, "God, Natasha, you are so sexy," she breathed as she stared at her body, "And so are you," the redhead replied as she took off Carols blouse, exposing her braless breasts.

 

Carol looked up and smirked, "I figured you'd like that," she whispered as she sat up, her hands sliding up Natasha waist until they reached the laces of her lingerie. Natasha quickly took a hold of her wrist and stopped her, "No no no… you are not taking this thing off me yet. This is your Christmas present, you must wait until it's Christmas, моя."

 

The blonde whined, "Christmas is in an hour."

 

Natasha laughed devilishly, "Which gives me a lot of time to make you beg me to touch you."

 

Carol sighed but it got stopped by Natasha capturing her lips. With gentle hands on her chest, the redhead pushed Carol back on the mattress as she kept their lips linked. The blonde couldn't stop humming against Natasha's mouth and it turned into a moan as Natasha put her hands on her abs, it was one of her sensible spots and Natasha's favourite.

 

Carol was already so turned on that she was rocking her hips against Natasha's crotch, desperately searching for friction, but Natasha wasn't going to give in so easily. Teasing Carol was Natasha's favourite activity the few times they had had sex and she wasn't going to make an exception for Christmas. Being on top of Carol gave her the full control of the situation, she was the one slipping her tongue in the other's mouth or biting her bottom lips. Carol was just laying there, hands motionless on Natasha's thighs.

 

When the blonde became a panting mess, Natasha left her lips and kissed her sharp jaw, neck and collarbones. With open mouthed kisses, she made Carol shiver but totally ignored her breasts, causing Carol to groan loudly. Natasha chuckled against her abs before nibbling the skin of her stomach, Carol curving her back at the touch, "Fuck," she cursed under her breath as Natasha scratched her skin with her nails.

 

"Like it when I hurt you," Natasha laughed as she left a trail of kisses on Carol belly, up in between her breasts and stopped at her chin, "or do you prefer when I'm soft?" she purred against her slightly parted lips.

 

Carol's chest rise and fall made Natasha laugh inside but she kept it for herself and started kissing her jaw. After a few more big inhalations, Carol swallowed hard before speaking, "Like… both…" she panted.

 

"Both it is then," Natasha replied as she stroked her fingers in her hair. As Carol leaned into her touch, Natasha kissed her exposed neck, gentle until she found the right spot and bit her. Carol replied with a grunt and then a moan when she sucked her skin. The redhead went back to her lips when she was done with her love bite and shoved her tongue in her mouth. Carol was barely kissing back, she was to excited to think about it and just enjoyed her girlfriend's touch, humming and moaning with pleasure.

 

They were both starting to get very sweaty when Carol's phone rang, Natasha instantly interrupting their making out to see who was texting her so late. Carol of course whined when Natasha got off her lap and unlocked her phone, "Hill is wishing us a Merry Christmas," she said before noticing the time on the clock.

 

"Oh!" she gasped and sat back on Carol's lap. The blonde, confused, sat up and was about to talk when Natasha put her pointing finger on her mouth before taking her hands and led them to the laces of her lingerie, a smirk on her face as she let her take it off because it was past midnight, "Merry Christmas, моя."

Notes:

Beautiful - красавица (krasavitza)
I love you - Я тебя люблю (Ya tebya lyublyu)
Lover - любимая (lyubimaya)
My love - любовь моя (lyubov moya)
Baby - малыш (maliish)
Mine - моя (moya)
You love me - ты любишь меня (ty lubish’ menya)
You are mine - ты моя (ty moya)

Chapter 29: Tests

Chapter Text

After months of speaking about it, they were finally doing it. Tony had waited and waited, prepared for it and then Carol had come back to him saying the thing was off and a few months later she had talked about it again before cancelling it but that day they were doing it.

 

It was him, Carol, Natasha and of course Bruce. They were going to try to get him back after he turned into the Hulk. It might not work, maybe the only way was to let him go back to his senses on his own while containing him so I wouldn't break everything, but something else could work, something faster and safer for everybody, they had to take a shot.

 

The night before the big day had not been so bad for Tony, he did woke up twice but didn't have any nightmare of New York, which was what he dreaded the most these days. He woke up at the same time as Pepper, when he usually stay in bed a little bit longer, and made her breakfast before she left for Stark Industries. Not a long time after that, Tony left as well, not forgetting the plans for the last version of his suit, that he designed in his lab and would develop at the tower.

 

On his way there, Tony stopped at Starbucks where he bought his team mates favourite morning drinks – or what he thought was their favourites. He did quite well, Natasha’s and Bruce's were one of their preferred hot drinks, Natasha said she rather have green tea in the morning instead of black but it was still okay, and for Bruce it had been easy, the two scientists had spent a lot of time together since the nuclear physicist had moved to the tower. Carol was not in the kitchen yet, but if Natasha was right she would be happy with what Tony got her so he celebrated with a victory dance.

 

While waiting for the Captain, Tony chatted with Natasha and Bruce, until the latter excused himself and went to get ready for the day. It gave him the time to compliment the redhead on her new hair style, back to wavy short like she had in 2012. The Iron Man didn't think she would ever have this haircut again, she had it when she got traumatised by the Hulk, it could be a trigger but she assured that she was fine.

 

Tony also had to make sure that Natasha was ready for the incoming day now that he knew how much the Hulk affected Natasha's life. Again, she told him that it was okay, she wouldn't have agreed to this if she wasn't okay to do it.

 

Still waiting for the blonde, Tony had to mention their relationship, that was still so weird to him, "Have you seen her this morning?"

 

After a small hesitation, Natasha replied, "Um…yes, she was still in bed when I left. She must be getting ready now," she took a sip of her tea, "she was more nervous than me about this yesterday, give her time."

 

"You are the one who should be nervous yet you're chill, it's odd."

 

Natasha scoffed, "You are nervous too."

 

"Because I care!" Tony exclaimed.

 

"Aw, you care about me, Stark," Natasha teased as she patted his shoulder, "she cares too," she added in a more serious tone, which actually explained a lot about the nervousness.

 

"Right! But her tea's gonna be cold. I'm gonna bring it to her.

 

Tony heard Natasha protesting but he went to Carol's room anyway. He passed by her door before remembering that the room at the end of the corridor was Natasha's – they were always in each other's room, how could he remember which was who's? Before knocking, he heard noises coming from inside, music actually, and when the door opened he saw her at the piano, pressing a few keys, "I knew you were bad but that makes me wonder why I put a piano there," he said as a greeting as he walked to her level.

 

Carol glanced at him and laughed before playing some chords again, "I um- I'm trying to write a song, actually," she explained as he handed her her drink, "thanks."

 

"Damn, Cap, you are full of surprises," Tony replied while taking a look at Carol's music sheets, "Why are you writing this?"

 

Carol slightly choked on her drink and coughed to clear her throat, her cheeks turning red, "No… particular reason… I just missed, you know… music."

 

Tony nodded but the answer didn't satisfy him, there was something behind her reaction and he wanted to find out what it was. However, it wouldn't happen today, they had more important things to do, "Well, Cap, it's great to see you are using my gift but we gotta go."

 

She scribed a few more notes on her sheet before putting her pencil down and followed him, "Where are we doing this by the way?"

 

Tony chuckled, "I see you weren't listening to a single thing I said during the briefing."

 

"Yeah… I was distracted," she admitted.

 

"By what? Romanoff's ass?" Tony joked but the blonde didn't laugh at all. He looked back at her and saw her flushed cheeks again, "Wait! Were you?"

 

"No!" she replied too fast, meaning she actually was, "Come on, I might be gay but I wouldn't stare."

 

"Sure," he snorted, earning him a punch in the biceps.

 

"Still waiting for the answer, where are we doing it?"

 

Tony lightly laughed again, thinking about the Captain checking out Natasha's ass, "A plot of land I own up-state, where I'm sort of building a thing for us."

 

"A thing?" Carol asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

"A compound, so to speak, with everything we need. A work space with offices, labs for those who want one. Another building that would be the living space, bigger rooms, still a common kitchen otherwise I'd never see you and Romanoff, the gym would be there too. I'm thinking about other stuff at the moment while the garage is in construction but I think you got the idea."

 

"So like an Avenger compound?" Carol asked with excitement.

 

"Exactly that," Tony confirmed as they reached the equipment floor, "But don't tell them, it'll be a surprise."

 

Carol winked at him before making her way to her locker and took her suit. Tony did the same, or rather he asked Jarvis to bring his suit in the Quinjet before stepping aboard where Bruce and Natasha were waiting.

 

"You guys got lost?" Natasha asked as Carol joined, "You know this guy," Carol replied as she passed by him and shoved his shoulder, "he's a talker."

 

Tony acted offended as he walked to the pilot seat and the others laughed at him. The flight lasted only a dozen of minutes at a moderate speed, they could have got there in less than half an hour with a car but Tony wanted to fly the jet.

 

His friends were all seated together, close to him, and they chatted as he piloted, "How was Christmas, guys? I heard it was just the two of you in the end," Bruce asked.

 

"I thought it'd be Fury's angels!" Tony exclaimed, "where did Hill go?"

 

"She didn't say," Natasha replied, "but it was great, we had a very nice time."

 

"What about you and New Year's Eve with Tony?" Carol asked, "Must have been something."

 

Tony had organised his classic yearly New Year party at his villa, all the Avengers were invited, even Thor who had been in Asgard since he last came on Earth for Thanksgiving more than a year ago, but they all declined, except Bruce. They had had an amazing night, Bruce, Tony and Rhodey had been inseparable, joking around and drinking beers until Tony got bored of all the people and threw them out.

 

"It was a good night," Bruce told them, "I expected it to be more stressful with all the people around but I actually had fun."

 

They barely had finished their conversation that Tony was landing the Quinjet. When he opened the rear hatch, the three others gasped as they saw the construction site and the first few buildings that were already up.

 

"That'll be your new home in a few months, you'll visit when it's ready. Now follow me."

 

Tony received complaint from Carol and Bruce who seemed impatient to see what was inside the buildings but they eventually followed him when he walk away. There was a quite empty land on the other side of the compound, that would have storage on it one day – the ones already there not big enough – but for now it would be the place where the Hulk would get angry.

 

The plan was not complicated; Bruce would turn into the Hulk at one side of the field, Natasha would be on the other side, waiting for him to get bored of Carol and Tony attacking him, then they would slowly lead him back to her and there she would have to help him to turn back into himself.

 

After checking in with the redhead, Tony accompanied Bruce to the other side of the field, while Carol and Natasha continued to discuss about the plan.

 


 

"If you ever like you want to stop, at any time, you tell us and we'll manage the unhulking, okay?"

 

"It's gonna be fine, Carol!" Natasha told her girlfriend as she discreetly reached her hand, "I promise you I'm good, and if it had to change I'd tell you."

 

"Okay," Carol whispered before stealing a kiss, "I love you."

 

Natasha replied by squeezed Carol's hand and let go of it when Tony talked to them via their earpieces, "Ready ladies?"

 

Natasha and Carol shared a gaze, the blonde waiting until Natasha nodded to take off, "Yes," she heard from Natasha in her ear, "Alright! Time to be angry!"

 

Carol saw Tony flying as well and when he was close to her, Bruce started to get bigger, more muscular, and green. It was dead silent around, no sound of birds or cars passing by, until a loud roar echoed, probably even in New York. Tony and Carol glanced at each other before flying to each side of the Hulk and started to fire at him.

 

He groaned every time he got hit by a photon blast or by any of the Iron Man's projectiles, he tried to catch them while they flew around him but they were faster – hopefully – and always dodged him. Carol often looked back at Natasha who was just standing in the middle of the field, watching the whole thing without saying a word. A big part of Carol wanted to ask her if she was still good but deep down a voice was telling her that she had to trust her, that if Natasha didn't feel good she would say it therefore she kept her mouth shut and focused on the Hulk.

 

They played with him for almost two hours before he began to be tired and stopped fighting back. He was still grunting though, so Tony and Carol judge it was too early to push him back to Natasha, but the redhead wasn't sharing this opinion, "I'm getting bored and he's quite calm, bring him to me."

 

Carol wanted to protest but she trusted Natasha and her call. Tony landed a few metres away from him while Carol remained in the air and he tried to convince him to follow him, but of course the Hulk just groaned and said no. Attacking him again was not the right call, they would just waste time so Carol suggested that they would give him something he liked if he came with them.

 

Tony told him that, asked what he wanted and at that, the Hulk pointed at Natasha. Carol and Tony were both confused but the Iron Man said yes. They told Natasha, who was oddly okay with that, so Tony led him to the redhead.

 

Carol didn't like this but it was too late to say no. Instead, she followed them from afar, ready to blast if it was necessary.

 

Everything seemed to be okay, Tony was even talking to the Hulk as if it was Bruce and they were getting closer to Natasha. But suddenly, when they were only a dozen metres away for her, the Hulk started to run in her direction. Seeing that Natasha wasn't moving, Carol flew as fast as she could in her direction, passed by him in time to catch her girlfriend and tackled her down on the ground as a barrier of energy formed around her and exploded, throwing the Hulk and Tony away.

 

With a grunt, Carol got on her hands and knees and checked on Natasha, "Hey, you good?" the worry in her voice was obvious, and it became bigger when Natasha rolled on her back, "Natasha, you're bleeding."

 

Now she was panicking, because it was her fault, she tackled Natasha and it hurt her. The redhead touched her wounded forehead and whimpered as she found the deep cut, "Shit," she cursed as she looked at the blood on her fingers.

 

"I'm so sorry, I didn't think. I saw him running and I just-"

 

"Baby, I'm fine," Natasha assured as she took Carol's hand, not thinking that Tony could hear them in his comms, "it's just a cut, it's okay."

 

Getting back on her feet, Carol looked back at Tony and the Hulk who were both still down. Carol helped Natasha to stand up and kept her close as she pressed her finger on her device to talk to the Iron Man, "Tony, you good?" after ten seconds and no answer, Carol asked again, but Jarvis answered, "Mister Stark is okay, Miss Danvers, he is just messing with you."

 

Carol let out a heavy sigh as she heard Tony laughing before he got up, "Jarvis, you are not funny."

 

"What about Bruce?"

 

Tony glanced at him, "Seems like he's coming back to us, you guys go ahead, we'll join."

 

Natasha and Carol both took off their comms as they started walking in direction of the Quinjet, Carol not leaving the redhead's side at any moment in case she'd feel sick.

 

"You know, you didn't have to go all giant glow stick on me," Natasha said but Carol didn't understand what she was talking about and frowned, "The energy shield, you did it again, to protect me."

 

The blonde hadn't realised she had done it, it just happened. Her absence of answer must have told it to Natasha, who lightly chuckled, "God, love makes you do a lot of things!"

 

As cute as this was, Carol was sure her powers didn't work like that, but it was still a funny coincidence that both time it happened she was protecting Natasha.

 

"Carol, not a mind reader, talk please."

 

They were close to the Quinjet so Carol waited until they were seated and started explaining as she took care of the cut on Natasha's forehead, "Do you really think love could make me do new things?" she asked as she disinfected the cut, Natasha staring at her as did, "I think your emotions control your powers, since it was what the Kree were trying to do, but they did it the wrong way."

 

Carol smiled, "So you'd make me more powerful, if that isn't proof of love."

 

Natasha smiled too, but it quickly disappeared when Carol applied a small pressure on her wound, "Sorry," she murmured and kissed Natasha's cheek before putting a band aid on her forehead, "I'll change that before bed."

 

Sitting beside her, Carol pulled Natasha in her arms and kissed her temple before putting back her earpiece and asked Tony if everything was okay.

 

"Look who's back!" he shouted as he and a half naked Bruce entered the Quinjet.

 

Natasha quickly moved away from Carol who stood up and went to Bruce, "You good?" she asked him as she handed him a shirt.

 

"Yeah… My head kinda hurt though, that was some powerful blast you did there," he said as he glanced at Carol who nervously chuckled, "Sorry about that, I panicked."

 

"Why did the Hulk wanted Natasha when I offered him something he liked," Tony wondered out loud.

 

Bruce suddenly looked away and even blushed, "I- I- I don't know… I guess he- I don't know, actually," he stammered, which intrigued Carol even more than his physical reaction, "We should head back," he added as he sat close to Tony in the cockpit.

 

Carol looked back at her girlfriend who shrugged in misunderstanding, it seemed the blonde wasn't the only one wondering what was happening to Bruce but they would discuss it later in the privacy of their bedroom.

 

The flight was quieter this time, only Tony tried to make conversation but the answers were succinct or non existent at all. When they landed, Bruce rushed out of the jet, saying that he would write a report of the mission, even though he often didn't remember a lot of what he did as the Hulk.

 

Natasha and Carol went to change, put their suits back on the mannequins and Tony was still there, sitting on a bench when they got out, "So um, Cap, I didn't know you could make such a powerful protective shield."

 

After sharing a look with Natasha, Carol decided to tell Tony the truth, "Well… I haven't done that a lot in my life. It was the second time ever, actually."

 

Tony frowned, "When was the first time?"

 

"When Natasha and I were running from S.H.I.E.L.D, they launched a missile at us and I did this to protect us."

 

"So you are saying you only did this to protect Natasha," Tony noted as he scratched the back of his head, "I guess it make sense, you two are close and you don't want her to die. I suppose you'd do the same if your best friend's life was threatened."

 

Thinking about Maria pained Carol's heart but Tony must be right, it couldn't only be a Natasha kind of reaction, "Honestly, I don't think I know for sure. Until that day, I thought I had my powers figured out but I was wrong apparently."

 

"Maybe we can figure it out, do some testing to see if you can do more than what you do currently."

 

They would have to at some point, that was sure, Carol couldn't fly around not knowing all the extends of her powers, and Tony was definitely the smartest guy she knew, "It'd be great, but lets not make it our priority. Bruce and the Hulk is what we should deal with first, and for now we failed."

 

"Agreed," intervened Natasha, "mastering this power would be great but not as much as getting Bruce back, that could prevent casualties in future fights."

 

Tony nodded before getting on his feet, "Alright then, I'll keep it in mind. I'm gonna write a report of the mission," he was gone before the couple could tell him that they were coming too.

 

They made a little detour to the kitchen, Carol taking a beer and Natasha some snacks for them both before going to the work space they all shared in the tower. It was more like a second living area but smaller, without a piano and with computer. However, there was a large table, in a corner there were couches, a coffee table and a shelf with books and an infinite amount of old S.H.I.E.L.D files.

 

The couple took one of the laptops and went sitting on a couch, Natasha resting her head on Carol's shoulder while she typed her report as if Tony wasn't in the same room. With one arm around Natasha's shoulders, Carol had only one hand available to press the keyboard, which slowed her to write but she more focused on cuddling with her girlfriend.

 

She eventually finished it and gave the laptop to Natasha who's report, as well as being written faster, was shorter. She had not a lot to say except that she waited until the Hulk rushed in her direction. Carol noticed something she wrote though, she said he didn't seem to be angry or wanting to kill her, which made the blonde feel more guilty for her panicked reaction.

 

Only when Tony left the room, Carol asked about it, "You said the Hulk wasn't aggressive, why?"

 

Natasha didn't understand until Carol pointed at the line on the screen, "I don't know… he just seemed… happy maybe."

 

"What?"

 

"I think it might be because Bruce has a crush on me," Natasha told her casually, as if it was a known fact.

 

"Excuse me?" Carol exclaimed as she tilted her head, "he has a crush on you?"

 

Natasha laughed as she closed the laptop and tossed it away, "No need to be jealous, Captain, I only have eyes for you," she purred as she cupped her cheek, "I thought you knew."

 

"Nope! Didn't know! And I don't like it."

 

Natasha chuckled as she captured Carol's lips, "You are so cute when you're jealous," she whispered and kissed her again, "but can you not be?"

 

Carol let out a heavy sigh, it was stupid of her to react like this, Natasha's wasn't attracted to a lot of people, she might have never been attracted to anyone at all before Carol and she wouldn't ever cheat on her anyway. It was still an interesting fact, and it had Carol wondering, "Do you think that's why he is affected by you when he is the Hulk, because he likes you?"

 

"Could be… but it'd mean he already had a crush on me in 2012."

 

Carol scoffed, "God, I hope that's not the case because poor him. It's almost been three years!"

 

"Didn't you have a crush on me for almost two years before we got together?" Natasha teased as she gently caressed Carol's jaw line, "Yeah but I got the girl in the end," Carol replied with a smirk as she leaned forward and kissed the redhead, "and you had a crush on me too, beautiful."

 

Natasha bit her bottom lip as she grinned, she hated the beautiful nickname so much but she couldn't get revenge in the middle of their work space, just kissing was reckless, giving Carol a love bite or whatever was her plan could not be done right now, but the blonde knew she would get pay back, very soon.

 

It wasn't very late in the afternoon, but since they had nothing else to do, Carol and Natasha went to their room and took a bath together. Those moments were always the best, the atmosphere was light, they both felt safe, and it often ended up with Carol rubbing Natasha's back or head. However, this time the redhead offered to do a massage to her too.

 

Carol should have seen it coming, that was her revenge. She started by really rubbing the blonde's shoulders and when she was fully relaxed and not on her guard, Natasha held her closer, blocked any motion from her legs with her own and nibbled her ear and neck. Carol didn't even try to resist, she knew she was screwed and had to wait until Natasha would decide she was done with her punishment to be released. She also enjoyed it, it wasn't too hard to take, the worst part was that it wouldn't end up in sex but that was manageable.

 

After long minutes and a love bite on each side of Carol's neck, the redhead let her go, but she was not done being glued to her. When Carol got out of the tub and put on her bathrobe, Natasha slipped in it with her, pressing their wet chests together as she tucked her face in the crook of her neck. Carol held her and rocked them while the redhead, soothed by her girlfriend's warmth closed her eyes and let out satisfied hums from time to time. Natasha eventually stepped out and put on some clothes but she was back to Carol's side the moment she was done.

 

Natasha was soft for no apparent reason but Carol couldn't care less, she enjoyed every second it and gave her anything she asked for, even ordered take-outs before the redhead mentioned she was hungry. They ended up eating it in bed, Carol spooning the smaller woman who fed her while she ran her fingertips up and down her arm.

 

Before going to bed, Carol felt like she had to mention something that shocked her earlier, "You really shouldn't let Tony make your suits anymore," she told her as they were brushing their teeth, Carol holding Natasha from behind as usual. The redhead looked at her in the mirror with a why? kind of face so Carol clarified, "It's a great suit, but this goddamn zipper doesn't even reach the middle of your chest."

 

"So you are saying that you are, again, disturbed by my breasts," Natasha teased.

 

"Yes," Carol admitted shamelessly, "and I also know that you don't really enjoy it when people- other than me- stare at your breasts."

 

"It is true that it's not the most comfortable suit I ever wore, but maybe I can ask Jarvis to make some changes."

 

"I'm already working on it, Miss Romanoff," the AI told them.

 

"See, it wasn't so hard."

 

Carol chuckled, "I wish I had a Jarvis earlier in my life."

 

"That's impossible, Miss Danvers, I am irreplaceable."

 

"And so are you, Natasha," Carol murmured at her ear. Smiling, Natasha turned in her arms and tiptoed to kiss her lips, "And so are you, Carol."

Chapter 30: Valentine's day

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

On the morning of Valentine's day, Carol gave Natasha rendezvous to the dance studio for a little surprise. But, before that, she had a breakfast ready for her on her nightstand, her dancing clothes nicely set up in the bathroom with a couple of roses. As she dressed, Natasha wondered how the blonde didn't wake her up this time when she got out of bed and probably flew out and in the room to put the roses there. Knowing how it would kill the magic of the gesture, Natasha wasn't going to ask Carol the ways she did all this and would just thank her.

 

She made her way to the dance studio with her lips twitched into a smile, hid it when she met Tony who was going to his lab and then let it go wide when she walked pass Maria who smirked at her, knowing that she was joining Carol somewhere.

 

Entering the studio, Natasha found Carol sitting at the piano with a score in front of her. When she approached and tried to have a look at what song the blonde picked for her to dance on, Carol took it away and gestured to the centre of the room, "Sorry it took so long, it was harder to figure out than I expected."

 

Natasha, standing a few feet away from Carol, folded her arms, "It's all good but you don't have to keep me waiting."

 

After a chuckle, Carol placed her fingers above the keys, inhaled a long breath and started playing. At first, the piece didn't sound familiar, which was not too surprising, Natasha didn't know all the songs in the world and Carol could've chosen one she didn't know. But then, she noticed something, a succession of chords that she knew, it was for a Russian song in her playlist, but it wasn't exactly it, the tempo wasn't the same and neither were the following chords. It was like Carol had mixed up multiple songs that Natasha liked and made them into one perfectly melodious masterpiece on which she would have the best time dancing.

 

It must have lasted less than three minutes but every second of them were magical in so many ways that Natasha didn't find the right words to put on it, "What do you think?" asked Carol as she turned on the stool to see her girlfriend.

 

Natasha, still dumbstruck, walked a few steps in her direction and stopped at her level, "What is it?"

 

"I um, I took parts those two songs you love, added a bit of one that reminds me of you and the rest is just me, searching for the best way to express how much I love you into music."

 

Natasha still couldn't believe it, Carol had written an entire song just for, she could've gone for the easy thing and just pick a song but instead she used all her piano and arpeggio lessons to make something unique.

 

"So… do you like it?" Carol asked as she stood up and wrapped her arms around Natasha's waist.

 

Her eyes still wide with surprise, Natasha nodded, "I love it, Carol," she whispered before kissing her lips, hands mindlessly finding their way to Carol's cheeks "Does it have a title?"

 

Carol smirked, "Yes, малыш."

 

Natasha couldn't help but smile when she heard the blonde pronouncing the word perfectly this time and gave her a loving kiss to thank her, "I can't wait to d-"

 

Before she could finish her sentence, a loud alarm resonated in the whole dance studio, causing the couple to cover their ears with their hands, "Danvers, Romanoff, Stark, you are needed at the jet, NOW!"

 

They recognised Maria's voice, there was a bit of panic in her voice but that only Natasha had the experience to notice. After a quick gaze, Natasha and Carol ran out of the gym, the blonde leaving her music sheets at the piano. Maria was there went they made it to the changing room, helped them both putting on their suits and they were ready when Tony joined.

 

"We found a HYDRA base in Ukraine, we don't know exactly how many people are there but we got a hit for the heat signature of the Sceptre," Maria explained.

 

"Who's we?" asked Tony.

 

"Not the point!" Carol exclaimed, "What about Bruce, we might need him."

 

"Too risky, there are civilians close to the base and you guys still didn't manage to control him with your song or something.

 

"It's a lullaby," clarified Natasha, "and it will work, last time was close."

 

"Yeah, close to get you smashed into the ground," joked Tony.

 

They gave another shot at the unhulking a few days ago but, again, it ended up with Carol saving Natasha from him, not with her energy shield though, as hard as she tried. It was everybody's fault this time, Tony wasn't paying enough attention, Natasha insisted to get closer and Carol, who couldn't stop saying that it was a bad idea, was so nervous that she couldn't get her eyes off Natasha instead of checking the Hulk's moves. But it was still getting better, they had hopes that it would work, however, it was still not safe to take him on a mission if civilians were around.

 

"Whatever, it's just the three of you for now. Clint should be joining in the next few days in case more bases are discovered and I've been trying to get in contact with Thor, I'm not sure it worked but we can't wait for him."

 

"Alright then, let's go," Carol said as she clapped her hands to motivate her team mates of the day.

 

Tony made his way to the pilot seat and took off, Carol and Natasha sitting at their usual places, far from his eyes. Natasha could tell her girlfriend was sad she didn't get the chance to see her dancing on the song she wrote but she also knew this was more important than them, HYDRA was still planning on taking control of Earth and must be dealt with as soon as possible. Natasha still gave Carol a soft kiss on her temple to comfort her and held her hand for a big part of the flight.

 

As they approached Ukraine, Maria contacted them to give the latest infos, Natasha and Carol joining Tony in the cockpit, "Last sources says the Sceptre as been moved, I'm trying to trace it but I've got nothing for now. You guys still have to take this base down and neutralise every single one of them. The locale police is aware of your arrival and will take care of putting them in jail."

 

"If one survive this," joked Tony but neither one of the three women laughed, "okay, trying not to kill them all."

 

"We need to interrogate some of them, Tony. We've been lacking intel for months now and this discovery could be major for our fight again HYDRA," explained Natasha.

 

"How many are there?" a frowning Carol asked, "I can't give you an exact number, what is sure is that there is not too much of you three for this mission."

 

"Right, so we don't have any idea of what we are up against and you want us to take them all down."

 

"Carol, I'm sorry but there's nothing else I can tell you."

 

Carol groaned, "Yeah, whatever."

 

"Hey," intervened Natasha, pushing Carol away to be in a more intimate space with her, "What's going on with you? I've never seen you so nervous."

 

"Sorry, I just… I had other plans for today, you know."

 

After looking back at Tony, who was too busy piloting to pay attention to what the couple was doing, Natasha took a step forward and pressed a soft kiss on Carol's lips, "We'll do it tomorrow, okay?" Carol nodded, "Right now I need you in the game to blast bad guys, but not too hard, we need them alive."

 

Natasha couldn't stop herself from smiling when she heard Carol's discreet giggle, "There you are, моя," she whispered as she cupped her cheek.

 

"Guys, we are at the landing point, we've got to do the rest on foot," Tony told them as he manoeuvred to land the Quinjet.

 

The base was on the outskirts of the city, close to a wood but also a highway that offered an easy and quick escape. From the little they knew, there was a part of this building that was used as storage, which probably had explosive devices or inflammable liquid in it, meaning they had to be careful with their guns and blasts.

 

As they got closer to the building, Natasha took the lead position since she was the most experienced in stealth operations and neutralized two men that were guarding the door they would use to enter. Carol searched the bodies for anything useful and found a card they needed to open the door. Tony was half shocked that Natasha killed those two guys when they said they needed to interrogate some but the redhead didn't have the time to tell him that they must know nothing because they were just guards and looked young.

 

Natasha took a first look inside and closed the door instantly, "Shit," she cursed under her breath before turning to her team mates, "The storage room Maria told us about, it's there."

 

"On the first floor?" asked Carol.

 

"Technically this is under the first floor considering where the main entrance is, but yeah, and it's full barrels and people."

 

The problem with the storage being this low in the building was that if it exploded, not only all the people inside would die, but also a lot of civilians out side because the whole thing would collapse as well as the buildings close to it, "So we keep our shiny hands and weapons in our pockets and fight fairly," Tony said as he prepared himself.

 

"Actually, I think you should get on the upper floors ASAP and take care of the others, I'm pretty sure that the majority of them is down there."

 

"You sure you two can handle all of them?"

 

Carol glanced at Natasha who nodded, "I've been up against harder than that."

 

"Same," said the blonde, "We've got it."

 

After a sharp breath, Natasha opened the door for Carol to go in first, then, she stepped in and waited for the blonde's signal to let Tony enter. They were close to the staircase and their enemies had still not noticed their presence. The Iron Man made his way to the first floor, and when he told them that he was in position, Carol stepped inside and chocked one guy as she shot another with a blast.

 

It quickly became a big mess of hostile voices, higher ranks telling their soldiers to not use their guns in this room. Some of them were trying to escape by the windows but were stopped by Carol, and when they changed their plans and tried to reach the first floor, they were welcomed by Natasha sneaking in a corner beside the stairs. She knocked two down and had to shoot the third or he would have done it first.

 

Upstairs, blasts and other missiles were fired by Tony who seemed to be fine on his own. About a dozen people were down on their floor, but there was still at least twice more soldiers coming one by one to the two women. It was easy to defeat them, they weren't very skilled fighters, unlike Carol and Natasha, but it was how many they were that was exhausting.

 

Without totally realising it, Natasha was using techniques that Carol taught her in their many sparring sessions, things that she didn't think could be possible until Carol did them on her. Now that she was trying for real, not just in a training environment, it felt incredibly empowering. She was getting a rid of all the men that ran towards her so quickly that soon there were no more men to fight.

 

She met with Carol in the middle of the room, they checked that they were all knocked out or dead before the blonde asked Tony if he needed help, "It wouldn't hurt," grunted the Iron Man and Carol was out in a second.

 

Meanwhile, Natasha proceeded to handcuff the wrists and ankles of the alive ones with zip ties. She was almost done when she heard statics in her ears for the comms and took it off, "What the fuck," she said to herself as she looked around. All he soldiers were still down, everything seemed normal, yet Natasha had this bad feeling in the pit of her stomach telling her that something wrong was coming.

 

Grimacing in anticipation, she put her ear piece back but the noises had stopped, "Guys, do you hear it too?" she asked but got no answer.

 

It was starting to be too strange, Natasha didn't like it but she couldn't do anything else, someone had to stay around those unconscious bodies in case one would wake up and try to escape. She stood in the middle of the room, a baton in one hand, waiting for one motion to knock off whoever would make it. Tony and Carol seemed to be still fight, Natasha could hear blasts and occasional screams for men being thrown out the windows.

 

The comms were still malfunctioning though, Natasha had no way to talk to her team but she trusted them to do what they had to.

 

Suddenly, another high pitched static made Natasha whimper in pain, her eardrums not appreciating this kind of sound. She took it off and tried to soothe her aching ear but nothing helped. When she put it back on, she heard a voice talking to her but couldn't tell who's it was, "Natasha, do you copy? Stark? Does anybody copy?"

 

Pressing her finger on her ear, Natasha replied, "It's Romanoff, I copy."

 

"Thank God," sighed Maria.

 

"What the hell happened with our frequency, I can't reach Carol and Tony."

 

"I'm not sure, but what I know is that there are more HYDRA thugs coming."

 

"What?" exclaimed Natasha as she started to look around her by the windows to try and see from where would come the backup.

 

"There's about twenty men coming your way," Maria repeated.

 

"You could've started with that," Natasha groaned as she observed the outside but still couldn't see anyone, "From where are they coming?"

 

Before Maria could answer, Natasha heard a loud kick on the door they used to enter and barely dodged the knife that had been thrown at her, "My bad, I've got them."

 

Twenty men were manageable, complicated but Natasha had fought more difficult battles than that, she beat up aliens after all. But they were in a confined room with dangerous products around, they could easily circle her and that would make things harder for the redhead. Hidden behind a barrel, Natasha tried to listen to the footsteps but it was like they were coming from nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

 

She needed an advantage, whatever it would be and stuck her head out to find one. On her left, she had an angle to shot three men without risking to blow the whole building down but it would give out her position. On the other side, she could take down four man but would be totally exposed to the other who could shoot her in this corner of the room that was close to the stairs. In the end, she picked both options, shot those three guys on the other side of the room before running on the four others.

 

Bullets passed close to her but she took them all down and hid in an alcove while catching her breath, the dozen of mercenaries that remained standing shouting orders in a language close to Russian, therefore Natasha partially understood. She gasped when she heard a part of a sentence, they wanted to blow up the building and all the people that were in it.

 

Trying her comms again, Natasha called for Carol and Tony but neither one of them replied, on the other hand, Maria did, "What's going on?"

 

"There gonna blow up the building," Natasha murmured even though they knew her position.

 

"That can't happen, kill them."

 

Natasha scoffed, "Right, sounds easy."

 

Twelve versus one, fair fight thought Natasha, if only she could use her gun as she wanted. The soldiers knew that as much as her and didn't fear her – though they should – one woman taking down a dozen of tall muscular soldiers sounded ridiculous, yet Natasha was determined to show them what she could do, before killing them. With all the unconscious guys in the room, they didn't need to keep the rest alive, especially since Carol and Tony must have some non dead men on the upper floors too.

 

Analysing her options, Natasha realised she only had one, and that was to rush in and beat the shit out of them as fast as possible. Skirting them could give her an angle to shoot some of them and that was not negligible, she had to kill as many of them as possible before fighting the rest hand to hand.

 

Her gun in hand, Natasha stepped out of her hiding place and walked behind a row of barrel before being perfectly aligned with four soldiers. Being left hand, she had the advantage of the angle and easily shot them down. The rest happened very fast, she took another one down very quickly by breaking his neck before using the momentum of her run to jump on one's shoulders and strangled him while she beat up two others we her baton. Three of the four that remained were guarding the last one who was surely preparing a bomb to blow up the building but that she wasn't going to let it happen.

 

With a kick in the chin, she knocked one out, took her best swing in another's cheek and pushed the last in the one making the bomb. Both on the floor, they begged her to not kill them, which she did and fired widow's bites at them instead, the two men whimpering in pain until they passed out. She handcuffed them, checked that the others were dead and disarmed the bomb that was almost finished.

 

Hearing a noise from behind her, Natasha took her gun out of her holster and pointed it at the person. Panting, she saw Carol standing in front of her, arms up in sign of non hostility, "Slow down, agent, it's just me."

 

After a sigh of relief, Natasha put her gun back were it belonged and gave a tight hug to the blonde despite her sweaty state, "Everything good up there?"

 

"Yeah, the police is already on their way to clean up the mess."

 

Carol's hands lingered on Natasha's waist as they pulled out, both standing there smiling and gazing at each other's eyes.

 

"No hug for me?" Tony asked as he laughed, bringing the couple back to reality.

 

Natasha chuckled and shoved his armoured shoulder as she waked passed him and got out of the building.

 

"Guys, the police is there, you can go to the jet and fly back home."

 

Hearing that, Natasha didn't waste time and made her way to the quinjet, Carol walking side by side with her, "You did amazing back there," Carol told her as their hands brushed, Natasha very tempted to take it, "I'm proud of you."

 

Natasha giggled, "I really want to kiss you right now," she whispered and looked back at Tony, "You know, I'm amazed that he didn't get it yet, we've literally been flirting and cuddling in front of him and it's like he can't see it."

 

"It's actually very funny to play with fire like that."

 

"Hopefully we are not taking much risk but yeah, it's fun to see how oblivious he is."

 

In the jet, Tony took off his armour and went to the cockpit while Natasha lied down on hers and Carol's seat, "You go and take your piloting lesson with Tony, you've been asking this for so long."

 

Carol groaned but smiled, she had not pilot anything for a while because she didn't have officially the skills to and neither did she fly a lot – those two things were what she loved the most, with Natasha of course. In the end, Carol basically piloted the whole time, except when they landed, and Natasha dozed for a big part of the flight, her earlier fight with twenty guards had drained all her energy, that should have been used for dancing.

 

It was late in New York when they landed and the couple didn't even bother to rake off their suits where they were supposed to and went to their room. Natasha was so tired that she didn't have the strength to get off of her clothes before Carol was done with her shower and took one alone, yet on this Valentine's day she normally would have enjoyed that.

 

Finally in her pyjamas and ready to go to bed, Natasha found Carol sitting on the bed with only a towel on her wet hair. Just when she thought her girlfriend would sleep naked, the blonde put on a short and a shirt, causing Natasha to whine at the lack of skin she saw. The redhead sat beside her girlfriend and held her waist, head buried in her hair, "Can I braid your hair?" she asked and made her best cute face but Carol didn't seem to be thrilled by the idea, "Come on, I can't do it with mine anymore."

 

"Babe, it's late, can't you do it tomorrow morning?"

 

Natasha pouted, "I'll be fast, please."

 

With a sigh, Carol gave in and turned so Natasha had an access to her hair. Since they met, Carol didn't cut her hair, or if she did Natasha didn't notice because it was really long. It reached her lower back now, which was really funny when she wasn't wearing her helmet while in her binary form, she had a huge amount of hair floating around her head, and even with the helmet, her Mohawk was ridiculously long. But now, braided, Carol's hair looked perfect, and would be so wavy when she'd free them in the morning after they would have dried.

 

"I should cut my hair, don't you think?" the blonde asked when Natasha was thinking the opposite.

 

"You do what you want, Carol. I love it like this but if you think it's too long, cut it."

 

"I think I will," Carol said as the redhead finished, "I look like a fool with my helmet."

 

Natasha tried not to, but she burst into laughter and almost destroyed all her work as she let go of Carol's hair but caught it just in time, "What?" asked the blonde, confused.

 

"You do look like an idiot with the helmet," Natasha laughed but the blonde didn't seem to think it was funny, "but you're like a cute idiot, I like it."

 

Carol turned around and shook her head, "You are lucky I love you."

 

"I know," Natasha replied as she leaned in to kiss her girlfriend. Before she could, a loud knock made them both jump in surprise, "Jarvis?" said Carol, demanding to the AI who was on the other side of the door.

 

"It's Thor, Miss Danvers."

 

"Shit!" Natasha swore.

 

"Just get out of bed, it's fine."

 

They both walked to the door, Natasha a step behind the blonde, "Ah!" a full on smiling Thor exclaimed as he he gave Carol a quick hug and noticed the presence of the redhead, "I was looking for you both, good news you're there, Natasha,"

 

"Hi man, it's been a while," Carol said as he greeted Natasha with a hug too.

 

"Yes, I've been away for long but I'm happy to be here, and for a moment I think. The Sceptre is my priority now and I will not be leaving until we have found it."

 

"That's great, we'll see you tomorrow then," Natasha told him to hasten him to leave.

 

"Yes, and good night to you both," the God of Thunder said as he waved at them and left.

 

"Do you think he knows?" Carol wondered as she turned to Natasha.

 

"I'm… not sure. He might think we were just, you know, chatting."

 

"Chatting, yeah," Carol smirked and grabbed her girlfriend by the hips, "Let's chat for a bit."

 

Before she could react, Carol was carrying Natasha in her arms, kissing her neck as Natasha giggled like a kid. When they reached the bed, Carol released the redhead, took a hold of her wrists that she pulled over her head and started kissing her lips. Natasha knew the blonde was horny by the way she kissed her but she had to calm her down because she didn't feel like have sex tonight.

 

With her legs still wrapped around Carol's hips, Natasha rolled them over and finished on top of Carol, her hand pressed on her chest, "Slow down beautiful," she teased, "I said we'd do what you planned tomorrow."

 

We a bit of deception in her eyes, Carol admitted her defeat and nodded. They found their normal place on the bed, Carol letting herself fall heavily on the mattress, "That was a hell of a Valentine's day," Carol sighed.

 

"Yeah," replied Natasha as she made herself comfortable, her head resting on Carol's torso, "but we got to spend it together."

Notes:

Baby- малыш (maliish)
Mine- моя (moya)

Chapter 31: The twins

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Carol was getting used to pilot the Quinjet, she was doing it most of the time now. In two months, the Avengers had intervened in four different country in East Europe to take down seven HYDRA bases. Those were easier than the one in Ukraine, they were all isolated meaning they could bring Bruce with them, the Hulk doing most of the job while they were getting inside to find informations.

 

Each time the fighting was over, Natasha and Carol were sent after the Hulk in order to get him back to his senses, but each time it ended with Carol having to punch him really hard in the face because he didn't want to listen to Natasha's lullaby. The last time they tried though, Carol noticed that physical contact trigger him, when Natasha touched his arm, he became calmer, and only got angry again because a guy that hadn't been properly killed fired at them.

 

They were all more confident about the procedure and, when another base showed up on their radars, this one close to civilisations, they didn't hesitate and took Bruce with them. He would stay in the Quinjet though, and only join in case of emergency. Tony had to find a name for it and called it code green, which made Clint laugh, Bruce a lot less.

 

For once, Clint was the one to pilot, he told Carol that Natasha needed to talk and not to him.

 

When she approached her and mentioned her best friend's name, Natasha shushed her and pulled her in a corner of the jet, where no one would see them, "What's going on?" Carol asked quietly before looking over her shoulder.

 

Natasha reached her jaw and made the blonde look at her, "I need you to tell me that everything is going to be okay."

 

Carol didn't totally understand the why but she still did, "Of course it's gonna be okay," she said and took a step forward, her hands sliding up the redhead's waist, "why, do you think something will go wrong?"

 

Natasha shook her head, "No, it's just… I have a bad feeling."

 

"It's gonna be alright, we've taken dozens of those."

 

"Promise me you'll be careful."

 

With a smile, Carol looked back to see if anybody was watching them and, when they were all too busy with something, she gave her girlfriend a reassuring kiss, "I will be, and you better be too."

 

"Always," Natasha whispered and stole another kiss before going back to her seat.

 

Carol could tell Natasha was still very nervous, she couldn't stop bouncing her legs for the entire flight, which made it really hard for Carol to not reach her hand to comfort her. She eventually did though, when the guys weren't looking, she entwined their fingers together and discreetly pressed her lips on her temple, the kiss lingering until Tony called them both.

 

Maria was on communication to give them the last details she got on this base, "From what we know, there are a lot of intel in this base, maybe even some of the things they've been working on, meaning you guys have to get a hold of it."

 

"So, am I really useful here?" asked Bruce.

 

"T'will depend on how it goes. If you get the intel but need some help to get out, code green will be in order," Maria told them, "It might be the most important base I've had until now, don't mess this up."

 

"You got it, Hill," Tony said before turning off the communication.

 

"Alright guys! Tony and Thor, cleaning duty as usual, keep them close to the base and if needed you call Bruce in. Meanwhile, Natasha, Clint and myself will get in, get the infos, get out, shouldn't be too hard."

 

All agreeing with the plan, they went to take their gears, Tony his suit, Thor his hammer, while Clint landed the jet. The outside team left first, took their positions while the others waited at the jet, "Natasha, remember what I told you for the big guy?"

 

"What? What did you say?" asked Bruce, intrigued.

 

Carol chuckled, "If I tell you he will know and it won't work."

 

Natasha looked back at Carol and nodded, "I remember."

 

"All right, then, let's go. Bruce stay close to the radio."

 

The trio made its way to the base, they had about twenty minutes of walking before getting close to the perimeter, and when they would be on their point, they would tell Thor and Tony for them to start fighting the outside guard to make a diversion. It was a long distance to walk without talking, especially for Carol, but at least the couple was just with Clint, meaning they could stare at each other without having to be discreet, Carol using these moments to reassure her girlfriend.

 

Reaching the location, Natasha was the one to give the green light to the duo, and blasts and thunders quickly followed. After a minute, more soldiers got out of the building, that was a sort of manor, and that was the trio's window to go inside.

 

They used a trap door that led to the cellar. In it was nothing else than old boxes, nothing of value, therefore they went up the stairs to the first floor. The outside noises accompanied them as they split and searched the floor but all they found were empty holding cells and training rooms. Regrouping to go up once again, they ran into two men in the stairs, not in fighting gears, and Natasha took care of them before Carol could try anything.

 

This time, they stayed together for the searching, this floor seeming more promising and therefore more dangerous. On their way to the second room, they got a communication from Tony, "Cap, it's getting odd out there, as if they were calling all their men out."

 

"You must be right," Carol told him, "we encountered only two people and they weren't even armed."

 

"Okay then, I'm calling the Hulk in."

 

As they continued to look for something even remotely useful, they heard the roars of the Hulk getting closer and closer. After three empty rooms, they found sealed boxes, that Carol easily opened, full of weapons that looked a lot like the ones S.H.I.E.L.D was making when they had the Tesseract in their possession. But those must be empowered by the Sceptre, which they didn't know was possible. All these weapons didn't seem functional but perhaps it was just that they didn't know how it worked. Whether it did or not, they had to get them all back to the jet when the base would be all clear.

 

While Natasha and Clint started to move the boxes out of the rooms, Carol went to the penultimate that had not been searched. She finished just in time for the best friends to join her in the last one, that was darker than all the others.

 

After just a glance inside, Carol gasped, "There are files!" she told her team mates and went in. The first file had a list of name in it, with birth and death dates. Beside those were written things in a language Carol couldn't comprehend but she figure that, if Natasha couldn't, Tony would have a software that would translate them.

 

As she took the second on in her hand, she heard footsteps coming her way. She was starting to read it when both Natasha and Clint shouted at her, "Cap!"

 

"Carol!"

 

It all happened so fast, Carol turned to see Natasha's panicked face, Clint drawing his bow and heard a gun shot. Her reflex was to duck as she turned binary, hoping that if the bullet didn't melt on her skin she would at least dodge it but none of those two options happened.

 

Before the bullet could reach her, it met Clint's arrow which deflected its trajectory. One end of the arrow finished in the wall beside Carol while the other got shredded, little pieces of wood like thorns flying over. Realising she was safe, Carol didn't think twice and blasted the guy behind her with as much energy as possible and, if not the photons, the impact of his back in the wall killed him.

 

Releasing a long breath, Carol leaned against the table and wiped her forehead with her wrist.

 

"You promised you'd be careful!" shouted a terrified Natasha, tears in her eyes as she rushed to Carol, "That wasn't careful," she panted, more worry in her voice than anger.

 

"Hey, it's alright, I'm okay," Carol said with a gentle tone as her hands found Natasha elbows, "I'm okay, baby."

 

"You're bleeding!"

 

Carol touched her cheek and felt a small cut, surely caused by a fragment of Clint's arrow, "It's okay, it's nothing."

 

After a glance at Clint, Carol got on her feet and pulled Natasha in her arms as she whispered comforting words to her ear. The redhead was shaking, Carol had never seen her like this before. It wasn't like when she had panic attacks after a nightmare, it was somehow worse and not at the same time, she had one symptom at its maximum but none of the others.

 

After a few minutes of stroking her back and rocking her, Natasha got calmer and eventually went back to her normal state. Pulling out of the hug, Natasha pressed her forehead with Carol's, cupped her cheek and closed her eyes. Carol knew her girlfriend needed to feel close to her and, after slightly zipping down Natasha's suit, put her opened hand on her bare chest, causing Natasha to shiver and then all her muscles unwounded.

 

The blonde wanted to apologise for this moment of inattention that could have cost her life, she wanted to tell Natasha that she loved her, but when she opened her mouth to talk, Tony's voice came out from their earpieces, "Nat, time for the lullaby."

 

With a sigh, Natasha opened her eyes, Carol instantly asking if she was okay with a simple gaze and the redhead responded with a nod, "Where is he?" she asked as they both stepped out of the building.

 

"South west from your position. He is… playing with trees for what I see."

 

"Wonderful," Natasha groaned as she sped up her pace.

 

"Tony, Thor, go to the manor and get what we found to the jet, whenever we get him back we will join you."

 

With a few more steps, Carol turned into her binary form and flew above the forest to try and locate the Hulk, "I've got him, Natasha. Straight in front of you, you should see him soon."

 

Carol landed a few steps behind Natasha and kept this gap between them until they found the Hulk. Natasha suddenly froze and Carol joined her, "You got this," she told her and gently pushed her forward.

 

The blonde remained half hidden behind a tree and watched the scene from there.

 

"Hey big guy," Natasha started as she rose her hand up in sign of none hostility, "the sun's getting real low," this sentence always got the Hulk's attention. This time, he turned his head to Natasha and let out a snarl by his nose that didn't make the redhead move a finger. As his gaze stayed on her, Natasha squatted down and extended her arm, the Hulk responding by doing the same. When his giant hand brushed Natasha's ridiculously small one, he took a step back and frowned, but it wasn't from anger, he was interested by the feeling. With a short step forward, Natasha touched his hand again, more firmly this time before showing him her palm. He mirrored the gesture and Natasha ran her pointing finger down his palm to his middle finger. When she reached his fingertip, the Hulk took a step back again and started grunting as he stumbled on his feet.

 

At this moment, Carol walked to Natasha's side, knowing that she succeeded and the redhead got back on her feet as she joined her, "You did it," Carol whispered as Natasha looked back at her.

 

After a quick contact between their hands, Carol stepped forward and went to Bruce's side, "You all good, Doc?"

 

Panting, he nodded, "Yeah, just… it's cold around here."

 

With a chuckle, Carol helped him on his feet and they walked back to the quinjet with Natasha, "We have him, guys."

 

"And we have the intel and the weapons," Clint said, "everything is in the jet, we're waiting for you."

 

On the way back, Natasha's hand couldn't stop brushing Carol's and the blonde supposed her girlfriend was doing it on purpose considering the smirk on her lips. Bruce complained about how far they were from the Quinjet, which was fair since he did the first part of the trip as the Hulk and probably jumped everywhere and got there in less than five minutes.

 

When they finally joined the rest of the team, the scientist went to get warmer clothes while Natasha and Carol took a look at the files they found, "What do we have?" the blonde asked as she looked for the first file she found earlier.

 

"This man," Tony said as he showed a picture, "Wolfgang von Strucker, he is the one who made those," he pointed at the boxes, "with the Sceptre apparently."

 

"Sounds bad," commented Natasha.

 

"But it's not the worst," Thor added as he took another file, "These two people have also been under Strucker's experiment, he enhanced them."

 

"They are twins, young, not even adults yet," Clint specified.

 

"How young?" Natasha asked as she took the file from Thor's hands and showed it to Carol, "It doesn't say," told Tony, "doesn't say what happened to them after the experiment either. We just have initials, W.M and P.M."

 

"We might be able to identify them from this," Carol assumed as she showed her file to the rest of the team, "there are names and dates there, and this I can't tell, b-… Natasha," Carol blushed as she almost called her girlfriend baby in front of all the others, but they apparently didn't notice, "can you read that?"

 

"Um, yeah," Natasha started reading the file, slightly frowning, "I thought you could read German, Carol," she told her after a few lines.

 

"That's German? Where?", Natasha pointed at words easy to read and Carol realised that she had not recognised a language she could understand and speak – kind of.

 

"Alright guys, let's put all of this in a box, get back to the tower and we'll study everything later, after dinner maybe."

 

They all agreed with Tony and went to their respective seats, Natasha being the one at the commands of the Quinjet this time. Carol stayed close to her, chatting about their plans for the night and she also discreetly told her that she almost called her by her pet name in front of the others. Of course, Natasha laughed at her, earning her a light punch in the arm before Carol joined her in her amusement.

 

Their relationship wasn't really a secret anymore, it had never really been, there was always at least one person aware of it, but since Christmas they weren't hiding as much as they used to. Most of the time now, they would cuddle in the living room or hold hands in the corridors, but anything that would look more like a besties thing, they didn't do. They had not talked about doing an official announcement yet but it would soon happen, Carol let that choice to Natasha.

 

The six Avengers joined the seventh in the meeting room the second they landed on the tower for a debriefing. While Tony and Maria analysed the weapons, Thor, Clint and Bruce entered their new data in the Avengers' servers and Natasha was still working on translating the German on the file Carol found. As for the Captain, it was her turn to order food for dinner – the choice was easy, the Thai restaurant she discovered with Maria when they did the support group – and she also had to get it at the entry of the tower before getting back to work.

 

Carol helped Natasha for the German translation, even if she wasn't very useful, but at least she was close to her. They eventually started to eat in the same box of food and Natasha, too far from the box, moved from her chair to Carol's lap without any shame or hesitation. Nobody said anything about it, the ones who knew about their relationship smiled and the others ignored it.

 

After a couple of hours, basically everything was translated, the intel in their server but the weapons not figured out at all, "I'll get my head back in those later in the week," Tony sighed as he slouched in the couch, "what's up with the German thing?"

 

Natasha joined him at the couches and sat on an armchair, Carol sitting on the armrest while the others found their usual seats, "We have twenty one names, all from Eastern Europe, all between fifteen to twenty five, all dead."

 

Maria pinched the bridge of her nose, "That's… awful. Nothing on the twins?"

 

"No," replied Carol, "we think those are reports only for the subjects who died, therefore they must still be alive."

 

"And how did they die?" Bruce asked.

 

"You don't wanna know. But apparently they weren't 'compatible' with the power within the Sceptre."

 

"Meaning the twins are," concluded Thor, "that is very important. They were not some children Strucker picked randomly, they had something special in them."

 

"Or they were picked randomly but happened to be compatible with the Sceptre, we can't be sure," Clint analysed.

 

"Anyway," Carol said loudly to get everybody's attention, "they are dangerous and whenever we have to fight them we will have to be careful, especially since we don't know what they can do."

 

"On- on a more positive news," Bruce stammered as he stood up, "Natasha made the lullaby work so I won't have to stay behind anymore."

 

"Yeah, that's great! I'm done punching HYDRA's thugs, I can get inside the bases too now," Tony celebrated as he gave a high five to his science partner, "Also, the Iron legion is built and ready to be deployed if we ever need to protect civilians so no more Hulk problem anyway."

 

"Sounds like we have a lot to celebrate," Thor noted.

 

"We do, but not right now. I'm gonna get back to Pepper and I'll work on the weapons tomorrow. You kids have a nice evening."

 

Bruce excused himself too and left for his room. Usually enjoying the after work chats, Natasha followed his lead after a few minutes. Carol could've gone with her but she felt like spending time with the three people that remained. It didn't last long though, Maria said she had to get up early the next day to work with Tony on the weapons and Thor offered his help for that task and left too. Then, Clint took his phone and called his wife, now that those who didn't know about her existence had left. Carol said 'hi' to Laura before joining Natasha to her room.

 

When she entered, the redhead was already in bed, only the lamp on her nightstand lighting the room. Carol went straight to the bathroom, changed to her pyjamas and looked at Natasha in the mirror as she brushed her teeth, "What was it earlier?" she said with the toothbrush in her mouth.

 

Natasha closed the book she had in her hand and glanced at Carol's direction, "I just… had a dream last night where you-"

 

"Got shot?" Carol guessed and smiled at her girlfriend.

 

"Yes. I know prophetic dreams don't exist but it still scared me and then you-"

 

"Almost got shot," the blonde finished her sentence as she stood on the doorway, "I should have been more careful, I saw the files and just went there, I should have seen him."

 

"Don't ever do that to me again, I had the fright of a lifetime I swear to God," Carol couldn't stop herself from laughing, Natasha wasn't one to get scared but her girlfriend being in danger was the most terrifying thing for her, "Carol, I'm not joking!" Natasha hissed as she moved to the edge of the mattress, Carol standing before her, "I realised I'm so dependent on you, I wouldn't survive losing you and that scares me a lot too."

 

Seeing her girlfriend getting emotional, Carol sat on her right and held her hand, "You are that one constant thing in my life that has to stay and it's really not a good thing in our line of work but I can't just…" after a sigh, Natasha continued, "I can't un-love you… you know, so I'll have to live with the fear of losing you everyday."

 

"Well, at least you are not alone in this," Carol smirked as she turned to face her girlfriend, "I live with the same fear but I guess the fact that I'm reckless doesn't help you."

 

"It really doesn't," Natasha agreed as she pressed her forehead with Carol's, "I'm sorry, I'll try to be careful next time."

 

"Okay," Natasha whispered before leaning in to kiss Carol, "now let's get some rest, I feel like the next few weeks will be complicated."

Notes:

Little note: I wrote this before the release of WandaVision so I didn't know that the twins were born in 1989 and I don't want to change it, I like the idea of them being young so they are 19, born the 16th of Feb 1996.

Chapter 32: The A-Team

Chapter Text

"We need the A-Team for this one. It's huge, hundreds of soldiers protecting it and we might have Strucker, the twins and the sceptre in the same building."

 

"Calling them right now," Maria said as she reached the phone to tell the team to come back from their lullaby testing.

 

"And Maria," exclaimed the man that used to be a good friend of hers – before he died and his memory was placed in a robot version of himself, "Great work."

 

"Thanks, Director."

 


 

Carol was standing there, chatting with her girlfriend, a hand on the small of her back while Thor and Tony were playing with the Hulk. Since they succeeded with the lullaby during their mission, they had planned a last test to see if it had not been a stroke of luck and only found a moment to do it that day. Tony had been busy with the weapons they found, he couldn't figure out how they were empowered and stopped trying after two weeks.

 

No other HYDRA bases had been discovered since that last one where they got the files, they surely were more careful now that the Avengers knew who was there main scientist. After more researches on him, they discovered that Strucker used to work at S.H.I.E.L.D but had a special status that made him invisible to the world when Natasha leaked all of S.H.I.E.L.D's file on the internet. He, like a lot of HYDRA's agents, was a member of the organisation since day one, therefore he was a very valuable asset for them because he must know a lot. Finding him was the priority, but unfortunately he was well hidden.

 

Or he had been.

 

The Hulk was starting to be bored of jumping after Thor and Tony when Maria entered in communication with them, "I need you all back at the tower, now."

 

"We are kind of in the middle of something," Tony told her.

 

"Well, finish it fast and get your asses back here, we found something very important."

 

Before anyone could retort, she had cut the communication, leaving them alone to figure out how to calm the Hulk faster than the usual.

 

"I can go now, it should be find," Natasha said to Carol.

 

The blonde shook her head, "Uh-huh, he is still too agitated. I'm not letting you go."

 

"He is not, Carol. Look at him, he is so bored of fighting."

 

Carol sighed and pressed her finger on her earpiece, "Alright guys, bring him to us."

 

It was the moment for the test, the moment to see if Natasha could do it again and Carol was terrified. She knew Natasha was getting better with her fear of the Hulk, the PTSD was going away but a bad result or him getting angry at her again could trigger it and make it worse and that was what the blonde dreaded. She was trying to hide it but whenever it came to Natasha, Carol couldn't control her fear and was becoming a bundle of nerves.

 

Tony led the Hulk to Natasha and Thor landed on the ground to be the first line of defence with Carol. When he saw Natasha, the Hulk's features softened and, as she approached him, he matched her motions, raising his opened hand until they met. Soon, he was grunting and falling on his knees, Bruce coming back as the Hulk went away.

 

The two other men help their friend while Carol and Natasha went to the jet and got it ready to go. Carol had a word to support her girlfriend on the way, as usual when she was facing one of her traumas and beating it, and it made her blush like it always did.

 

After a quick flight, they all met Maria in the meeting room, who was on the phone with someone, "Clint will be there tomorrow and then we will be good to go."

 

"What's going on? Why did you call us all back?" Carol asked.

 

Maria turned to her computer before showing different pictures, "This is Dr. List, he is a well known associate of Strucker and he escaped yesterday."

 

"And how is that good for us?" Tony wondered.

 

"Because he has a tracker in his blood, little something created by Dr. Cho, which means we know where he is. He took a plane to East Europe and is now in Sokovia, on his way to a place that we think is HYDRA's main base considering what we can see from the satellite images."

 

"Lets get them then!" Carol exclaimed, already making her way out to the jet.

 

"No, Carol!" Maria stopped her, "This is not something we can rush in and plan on the way there. I'm not saying your plans are bad, they all worked, but we have to be perfect this time, and we need Clint as well."

 

Carol hated to wait but Maria was right, this could be their last mission to take down HYDRA, they had to be fully prepared.

 

From what they knew, this was where Strucker did the majority of his experiments on people, therefore the Sceptre must be there. Also, since it was guarded by hundreds of soldiers, the twins must be inside too, which was a big factor to consider while making the plan of attack. They had only one way to all arrive by the same side of the building that was surrounded by mountains except on its east where they could access it.

 

They would need stamina for this mission because all the guards outside must be taken care of, none of them could survive, no more HYDRA thugs could get away. They had four lines of defence before the building that was some kind of castle that overhung a city a few kilometres down the valley, all lines of defence bigger than the one before. There were bunkers and control towers hidden in the middle of the forest, there wouldn't be too much of the six of them to take them down.

 

When they finished planning what they could anticipate, it was late in the day and they were all hungry. Tony ordered food, they all ate together in the kitchen before leaving for their own rooms. The night was hard for both Carol and Natasha, but for once it wasn't the redhead who had a nightmare.

 

Carol dreamt that things went wrong, Clint got killed and Natasha abducted, tortured and killed as well by HYDRA. She woke up screaming, the last images of her girlfriend getting killed before her eyes, and even with the redhead in her bed and comforting her, Carol had a hard time calming down. It was her role to keep her safe, to keep them all safe, she was the strongest of the team and had to protect them from the danger they were facing but it gave Carol a lot of anxiety. That night, Carol didn't find sleep again, her brain overthinking everything, imagining all the scenarios that could lead to a bad ending.

 

The next day, Clint didn't show up, his flight had been cancelled and the Quinjet, operational for the mission, couldn't be used to go and get him, therefore they had to wait another day, and, worst of it all, another night.

 

Carol was so nervous that she said she wouldn't sleep, that way she wouldn't have a nightmare but Natasha forced her to come to bed with her, she needed to be at her best for the mission and that meant she had to be rested. After a couple of hours of cuddles, of Natasha telling her that everything would be okay, Carol fell asleep, her face tucked in the crook of her girlfriend's neck, her scent soothing her.

 

She woke up in the exact same position, with Natasha stroking her fingers in her hair that she cut at shoulders length after their last discussion about it, "Hey you," whispered the redhead when Carol opened her still sleepy eyes, "Clint is on his way but we still have a short hour for ourselves."

 

"Good," Carol mumbled as she buried her face back into Natasha's neck. With a chuckle, Natasha laid properly on the bed and held the blonde just like she loved it, a hand on the back of her neck tracing circles and her other running up and down her back. Carol knew she could easily fall back into sleepiness and had to fight with herself not to, but God how Natasha's arms were comfortable.

 

They still had to get out of bed quickly, they must be ready to go the moment Clint would set foot in the tower. After ten more minutes of cuddles, they took a fast shower together, put on the clothes they always wore under their suits and went to the kitchen to take a light breakfast. Tony and Maria were there, talking about some details that came during the night while Bruce and Thor were already waiting in the quinjet.

 

Clint made it exactly on time and they took off right away, in their now-usual direction that was the east of Europe. Carol reminded them all of the plan, double checked everything she said with Maria who was on comms until they reached the border of Sokovia.

 

To have the element of surprise, they landed in Czech Republic, a kilometre away from this poor country that was Sokovia and the base that was at its border. The country was not aware of the Avengers' intervention, that way, they were sure HYDRA wouldn't know either and would be taken by surprise. This base was the most guarded they had had to take nonetheless and it was going to be a long fight.

 

The moment they passed the border, there were people guarding the surrounding, five of them on foot and the other two in a car equipped with the same kind of weapons they found in the last base they took.

 

The orders were simple, killing them all but Strucker, List and the twins. Clint was aiming at one of the guys in the car, Natasha at the other, Carol had both her fists rose at two men on foot, Tony his palms and Thor was ready to throw Mjolnir at the last one. When these people would be dead, the whole base would be at its highest alert level, they all knew it and took a dozen of additional seconds to prepare themselves for the fight to come.

 

Bruce, still not turned into the Hulk, was the one to count down to zero for them to fire their bullets and other projectiles at these guards. The seven men fell down at the same time but one of the two aimed by Tony had the time to warn his base of the Avengers' arrival before he was shot at point-blank by Natasha.

 

The sirens coming from the castle echoed on their side of the mountains, meaning the fight was already on its way. They still had to go through a gorge before meeting the first line of defence, gorge that was long enough for Natasha to steal the car after moving the corpse away, Clint climbing in the back too. Tony, Carol and Thor all flew over the woods to try and see where were hiding some of their enemies while the Hulk began to roar.

 

Carol spotted towers with at least six men on it, normally armed, and others on foot with heavier weapons, some that must be Sceptre empowered. When the first soldiers started to get hostile, Thor landed while the other two remained in the air but flew lower, no threat were coming from above them.

 

The first and second lines were easy to take, there weren't many men defending them but, as they approached the third, they encountered more people, more Strucker-made rifles and even men in flying suits, that kind of looked like Tony's Iron Legion. Keeping an eye on Natasha in her car, Carol flew around and shot photon blasts at every person she saw, landed for a little hand to hand combat with half a dozen guards before going back in the air.

 

For now, they didn't went through any difficulty, the soldiers were numerous but it was nothing the six of them couldn't handle, especially went they all grouped, the Hulk loved when they did this, he could smashed them all at once. While they were all following the path that led to the base, Carol went off course to see if there were more bunkers and towers but they were all close to the way to the castle.

 

She came back to the group to see Clint and Natasha jumping off the car, above barbed wire, the redhead kicking a man in the face before gracefully landing on the snowy ground. They were at the last line of defence, surrounded by bunkers and sheds where more hostiles came from. None of them could make it alive but the four people Maria told them about, meaning it was the moment for Tony's reconnaissance mission while the others would fight the rest of the HYDRA thugs.

 

It was more of a funny training session on moving targets for Carol than an actual mission, she was testing her aim on some of the flying men, her strength on the ones with heavy armours, but none of them could survive the power of her blasts. The many weapons firing at her also increased her reflex and flying abilities that she had not been maintaining for a long time now, this was her first real fight as Captain Marvel since she came back to Earth in 2011.

 

This detail made her realise that she had not done any official announcement about her identity, about her being "a Kree from space", here to protect Earth from possible foreign attacks. Yet, it was important that she come clean, to the government especially, they needed to know that such a powerful person was walking their soil and could – but hopefully wouldn't – make casualties, like the Avengers could.

 

"Shit!" cursed Tony, his loud voice in Carol's ear taking her out of her thoughts, "You good, Tones?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Jarvis, tell me what's up with this castle," Carol asked to the AI.

 

Jarvis, with its satellite view, could analyse the Avengers surrounding, giving them key infos for this mission, "The central building is protected by some kind of energy shield. Strucker's technology is well beyond any other HYDRA base we've taken."

 

"Could've guessed that myself," commented Clint.

 

"Loki's Sceptre must be here," Thor told them as he fought many soldiers at the same time, Carol helping him by blasting two before flying to another side of the woods, "Strucker couldn't mount this defence without it. At long last."

 

"At long last is lasting a little long boys," Natasha panted.

 

"Yeah, I think we lost the element of surprise."

 

"Wait a second," Tony interrupted, "No one else is gonna deal with the fact that Cap asked me if I was okay?"

 

Carol chuckled, "Alright then, fuck you Stark."

 

"Actually, I prefer polite Cap. Can I get polite Cap back?"

 

"Nope," Carol replied, smirking even though he couldn't see her.

 

The fight was starting to be repetitive. Now that they were in the last line of defence, new soldiers were converging to their positions, some making their way to the bunkers while the rest was just trying to shoot down Carol and Thor who were still flying around, they would take care of them all and another group would come from the castle. Meanwhile, Tony was still trying to get inside but it seemed that HYDRA wasn't letting him, he was the target of multiple canons.

 

"Sir, the city is taking fire," Jarvis said, which told Carol that all the blasts that weren't touching Tony ended up hitting the city that was on the other side of the valley.

 

"Well, we know Strucker's not gonna worry about civilian casualties," Tony commented, "Send in the Iron Legion."

 

It was the first time the Iron Legion was deployed, they didn't know how efficient it would be but the fact that they looked like the Iron Man was promising, it was often an image of hope and people tend to do what he would say when under attack. At least they had a plan to protect the civilians, Carol thought, unlike when New York was under attack and they had to improvise, with this dozen of robots they could warn the population that they were in danger.

 

Carol was getting so bored of fighting in the air that she decided to go for some hand to hand combat, still in her binary form in case she wasn't being careful enough. It was still too easy, these men weren't skilled fighters and they were trying to shoot Carol instead of fist fighting her, it was like being up against dummies.

 

She was alone on her sector but a lot of soldiers were coming to her, probably knowing that she was the strongest of them all and that they wouldn't take her down with a few people. But every time, she knocked them down in less than a minute and had to wait for the next wave to arrive. It wasn't fun anymore, Carol wanted this mission to end so she could be with her girlfriend.

 

Actually, she could, and left her position to go fight by her side, they could play a little game, see which one of them could take down the most people in less than a minute.

 

She was on her way to join Natasha when she heard her yelling, both in her earpiece and from afar, "Clint!" it wasn't good, he must be hurt.

 

Carol sped up her pace, running in direction of them when she took a strike in her belly, so fast it sent her flying. She managed to land on her feet to see blurry silver and blue waves fading away. She immediately thought about the twins, it must be one of them, "There's an Enhanced, they are fast, be careful."

 

"Clint's hit!" Natasha told them, confirming Carol's doubt.

 

Still going towards them, Carol met more hostiles fighting with Thor and gave him a hand, "Tony, can you get in?"

 

"I'm closing in," he replied, "Jarvis, am I closing in? Do you see a power source for that shield?"

 

Carol didn't listen the rest of the exchange, she just waited for him to tell her he could get inside to join and find Strucker, which came quickly, "The drawbridge is down, people."

 

It was the moment for them to improvise and Carol joined Thor to talk with him about what was next, "Clint's hit pretty bad, guys," Natasha said as she had catch up with the God of thunder, "We're gonna need evac."

 

"I can get Barton to the jet," Thor told Carol, "The sooner we are gone, the better. You and Stark secure the Sceptre."

 

Carol nodded, "Heard that, Natasha?"

 

"Yes, Cap," said the redhead and Carol could swear she had mimicked the military salute, "I'm gonna get the big guy."

 

Now that they all had their missions, they just had to get there, but another group of soldiers line up in front of Thor and Carol, "Photon and Thunder?" she asked with smirk, getting the energy ready inside her.

 

"Photon and Thunder," agreed Thor as he raised his hammer. When he lowered it, lightening struck Carol, which charged her up, and the blasts that blew up the tank and the men around it was most certainly the strongest she had fired on Earth, "I knew this worked," she laughed.

 

"Find the Sceptre," Thor reminded her before flying away to get Clint to safety.

 

"And come help me, Cap, I'm in grave danger," mocked Tony.

 

Carol sighed, "That's what I get for caring for my team," she said to herself before running and then flying to the castle.

 

She used the first door she encountered to get in and thought about their goal, Strucker, List, the twins, the Sceptre. For now, one of the twins had showed up, the other must be close, but the rest was still an unattainable dream. She ran the corridors of the castle, checking in with Tony to know what he found on his side when she met an armed guard.

 

She punched him in the face, the blow knocking him down and continued in the same hallway were she ran into Strucker, "Ah! There you are!" she smiled, "I thought HYDRA had fired you or something."

 

"Technically, I'm working for S.H.I.E.L.D," he said as he frowned.

 

Carol scoffed, "Well, then you better look for a job because I took S.H.I.E.L.D down myself. Now, where is the Sceptre?"

 

"Don't worry, I know when I'm beat. You'll mention how I cooperated, I hope."

 

"Because you think you will have a trial," Carol chuckled, "even in my report I'll-" she was thrown down a staircase before she could finish.

 

As she climbed back up to make sure Strucker didn't run away, Carol told the team she encounter the second twin, the woman, this time she saw her. She wasn't there when she got back, but Strucker was, waiting for her. She could see it on his face that he wanted to taunt her and she did let him the time to. As he opened his mouth to talk, Carol punched him right in the jaw, the force of her hit sending him in the wall behind before he fell on the floor, whimpering as he passed out.

 

"I've got Strucker," Carol told her team as she seized his collar and pulled him out of the castle as if he weighted nothing.

 

"Yeah, I got… something bigger," Tony replied. Carol supposed it was the Sceptre, if it had been the twins he would have asked for help, "Thor, I got eyes on the prize," he added, confirming her thought.

 

They had the two most important things of their list, Strucker and the Sceptre. Dr. List could be around, in the tonnes of people they killed or knocked down and the twins must have run off, which was a good thing because now they were traceable.

 

Carol brought Strucker back to the quinjet, flying them both above the forest as she got tired of walking, causing him to throwing up as he woke up in the air before passing out again. At the jet, she found Natasha waiting outside, her arms folded to her chest until she saw the blonde, still pulling the HYDRA scientist by the collar, "These people will take care of him now," she told her as she pointed at a group of three women, all wearing suit that looked like old S.H.I.E.L.D's ones.

 

"Captain Danvers, I'm agent May, this is agent Simmons and Johnson," Carol greeted them with a nod, "we are here to take this man to the adequate facility."

 

Carol chuckled as she let go of his collar, his head heavily hitting the ground, "He is all yours. What about the Sceptre?"

 

"I have no information concerning the Sceptre, I suppose Hill will come back to you about that matter. In the meantime, you can take it back with you to your headquarters."

 

"Alright, thank you agent May," Carol said and shook her hand, shared a gaze with the two other agents before they left and turned to Natasha, "I know one of them, don't I?"

 

Natasha laughed, "You know all of them, they were S.H.I.E.L.D agents, they were at our table that one time we ate at the canteen."

 

"Yeah! I knew I saw them somewhere. God I still remember how awful this food was, tasted like sand."

 

"I have to admit, I've tasted better things in my life," Natasha flirted as she took a step forward, her eyes falling onto Carol's mouth.

 

Carol bit her bottom lip, trying to hide her smile as she knew they were surrounded by people not aware of their relationship, "Hmm, like what?" she asked with a playful tone.

 

Before Natasha could reply, Tony arrived with the Sceptre, cheering himself as he went straight inside the jet, "I've got this baton and all the intel Jarvis could get from their database, time to go."

 

It was Clint's turn to pilot the jet, but since he was injured, Tony replaced him while Natasha and Carol were keeping an eye on him. He said he was fine, but Natasha knew the marksman better than he knew himself and could tell he was in pain. Carol gave him painkillers in IV before checking up with her girlfriend on how it went with Bruce, who was in his corner of the jet with his headphone on playing relaxing music.

 

"I think that he knows what's coming now, when he sees me," Natasha began while Carol slipped her hand on the small of her back, "I just have to wait and he comes to me, depending on how long he has been fighting it can take more or less time."

 

"That's great. Now, why don't we go check on him, he seems pretty shaken up," Carol said before pressing her lips on Natasha's temple.

 

"You guys know there are people around, they could see you," Clint muttered, his voice low so the others wouldn't hear him, "We are thinking about telling them," Natasha told him, "and they are blind anyway, Tony keep calling us besties."

 

Clint chuckled, "I mean, when I didn't know I thought the same."

 

"That's because you are a man, Clint."

 

Carol's comment earned her a joyful laughter from the redhead who had to hide her face in her neck to not laugh right at her best friend. The archer laughed too but it wasn't the best thing to do as his injury still hurt a lot, "Alright, we should let you rest."

 

"Hey Banner, Dr. Cho is on her way in from Seoul. Is it okay if she sets up in your lab?" Tony asked as the couple was making their way to him, "Uh, yeah, she knows her way around."

 

They shared a glance, and before Carol could speak, Natasha did, "I can check on him, you go and ask Tony if he is okay."

 

Carol eyes widened, "No! Not you!"

 

"Go play with your friends," Natasha smirked before going to see Bruce.

 

After a sigh, Carol looked behind her and joined Thor and Tony who were standing in front of the Sceptre in its box.

 

"Feels good, yeah?" Tony started, "I mean we've been after this thing since S.H.I.E.L.D collapsed. Not that I haven't enjoyed our little raiding parties, but-"

 

"No, but this… This brings it to a close."

 

"We still need to know how Strucker used it to make weapons and enhance people," Carol reminded them.

 

"Banner and I will give it the once over before it goes back to Asgard," Tony said before turning to Thor, "Is that cool with you? Just a few days till the farewell party, you're staying right?

 

"Yes, yes of course. A victory should be honoured with revels."

 

"Yeah, who doesn't love revels, Cap? As your birthday party, what do you think?"

 

Carol chuckled, "Sounds fun."

 

Tony and Thor went to see Clint and Carol decided to stay in her corner while Natasha was still talking with Bruce.

 

She needed to think about what the redhead said earlier to Clint, that they wanted to tell the others about them. Carol was thrilled, she was done hiding, she was proud of being Natasha's girlfriend and wanted it to be known by the entire world, but at the same time she wondered how they would do it. Telling them that they hid because they would have been assholes sounded like a bad way to explain, even though it was kind of the truth, they had to get their story straight.

 

Perhaps they all already guessed it, that was a possibility too, after all they were far from being subtle, maybe Tony knew all along and was just playing with them and waiting for them to come clean. There was also Bruce, who apparently had a crush on Natasha if what she was saying was true. Telling him would hurt his feelings, but at least he would know that he didn't stand a chance with her, and Natasha didn't like men anyway.

 

Carol wanted to ask Natasha about it as she joined her but in the middle of the quinjet it was not the best place or moment to do so, "How is he?" she questioned instead.

 

"The usual, not very happy that he killed people but at least they were bad guys," Natasha replied before pulling Carol further away from the rest of the group, Carol now standing between the men and her, "I could use a hug right now," she whispered as she took Carols hands.

 

The blonde looked behind her, her team mates seemed busy enough not to notice what they were doing. Smiling, Carol pulled her girlfriend in her arms, the smaller woman tucking her face in her neck as she held her waist. With her cheek pressed on the top of Natasha's head, Carol closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Natasha's light exhalations on her skin and her arms pressing their bodies together.

 

So comfortable in this tight embrace, Carol almost forgot that she still had her earpiece on and therefore could be heard by Tony who most likely had his too. But, God, she wanted to tell Natasha she loved her so hard, she almost did anyway, it was tempting, to ignore her earlier thoughts and just say it, rip off the band aid so their secret would be out, but she had to talk about it with Natasha.

 

Instead, she kissed Natasha's hairline before pulling out, it was not even close from what she wanted to say, it wasn't one of their I love you kisses, but it was something. Natasha replied with a mouthed thank you before stepping forward and joined the group, quickly followed by Carol who took her comms off on the way.

 

"Romanoff, you'll be there to hold Barton's hand when Dr. Cho will treat him right? Poor man is scared."

 

They all laughed at Tony's joke but Clint who pouted, "I'm really injured, you know."

 

"I know, big guy, I'm just messing with you," The Iron Man replied as he shoved his shoulder and want back to the pilot seat.

 

Again, Carol took Natasha aside, her hand mindlessly finding her waist, "You'll join me to my room when it's done?"

 

Natasha pursed her lips to prevent her smile to go wide, "What for, Captain?"

 

Carol snorted, amused by all the answers that came up to her mind, "Just wanna make sure that you didn't get injured during the mission."

 

"Hmm, medical exam, I'll be there," Natasha concluded before going back to Clint.

 

Carol bit her lip, she definitely enjoyed flirting with Natasha like that, maybe too much.

 

To calm herself, she went to the cockpit and asked Tony about the data he got from the base. Apparently Maria would brief her on the twins when they'd land, she told him that there were encrypted files with their names, they would be ready at their arrival. The rest were researches on the Sceptre, how it empowered the weapons, the flying suits, but there was no detail about it, just plans that weren't useful to them and for now they had nothing on how to enhance people, which was what they wanted to find the most.

 

Tony also told Carol that, in the secret room he found, there was one of the giant Chitauri they fought in New York. Carol instantly wanted to asking him how he felt about seeing one of these after more than two years but she remember what happened earlier when she did and kept it for herself, considering that if he needed, Tony would go talk to someone he trusted.

 

They continued to chatter as Tony piloted the jet, for an hour or so, and they were back to New York. Dr. Cho was ready on the runway with her team to bring Clint to Bruce's lab, the scientist and Natasha both accompanying them there. Thor, with the Sceptre and its box, stepped out to bring it to Tony's lab, which left Tony and Carol when Maria entered the jet.

 

"Lab's all set up, boss," she told Tony who chuckled, "Actually, you two are the bosses, she gives the order on the field and you find the infos, I'm just the one signing the pay checks."

 

Maria smiled as she turned to Carol, "Alright then, boss. I've got infos for you."

 

"Tell me everything, boss," Carol replied with a smirk.

 

"Strucker and all the people you didn't kill are in NATOs custody," Maria began as they walked out of the jet, "As for the twins, we've got a lot," she handed her tablet to Carol, "Wanda and Pietro Maximoff. Orphaned at ten when a shell collapsed their apartment building. Sokovia's had a rough history, it's nowhere special, but it's on the way to everywhere special."

 

"So they get caught in the cross fire… Not the best place to start a life," Carol commented, "What about their abilities, the female one threw me down stairs without touching me and I couldn't see the guy."

 

"He's got increased metabolism, and improved thermal homoeostasis."

 

Carol chuckled, she heard of that before, about herself, "So he's fast."

 

"Yep. And her thing is neuro-electric interfacing, telekinesis, mental manipulation."

 

Carol stopped in front of the elevator, this Wanda sounded powerful, way more than her brother, and very dangerous, "We have to be careful with this one. We will run into them again, she could do a lot of damage."

 

"Agreed. File says they volunteered for Strucker's experiments."

 

Carol stepped into the elevator and turned to Maria, "Question is, did they know they were compatible with the Sceptre or not?"

 

"You'll ask them next time you meet them. I need your report by the way."

 

"Yeah, later," Carol muttered as the door of the elevator closed.

 

Knowing that Natasha wouldn't join her in the next minute in her room, Carol grabbed a tablet on her way there to read what they found while waiting for her girlfriend. She took off her suit that she tossed on the couch before going to her bed, lying down on her belly as she went through the files of the Maximoffs.

 

They were born in 1996, the month and day not specified, therefore they were either nineteen or eighteen. They lived a life as normal as it could be in a country like Sokovia until their parents died, and then they started to be part of riots against governments like the US. They were at war in some ways, a war that only them and the people of Sokovia knew was happening. Carol thought about the Iron Legion and it suddenly didn't surprise her anymore that some had been damaged from those that had been sent in the city, the image of the Iron Man was no sign of hope or peace for them, it was one of the US weapons.

 

The blonde didn't get the chance to read the rest of the files as Natasha arrived with one of Tony's energy juice in her hand, "Hey baby," Carol greeted as she put the tablet on her nightstand and joined Natasha.

 

"Help me get out of this?" Natasha asked as she looked down at her suit and back to Carol with a smirk, "for the… medical exam, of course."

 

Carol chuckled, "Of course."

 

Her hands found Natasha's zipper as the redhead unbuckled her belt, letting it and the empty holster of her gun fall on the floor. Natasha looked up at Carol as she slowly unzipped her suit, her parted lips twitched into a smile as she moved closer, her nose softly nuzzling the skin of Carol's cheek. Carol pulled the top of Natasha's suit over her shoulders, exposing her chest only covered with a sport bra.

 

As always, Carol put her hands on Natasha's bare waist, their coldness making goosebumps appearing all over her skin. Natasha's hands reached the hem of Carol's tank top and the blonde knew what would happen next. The spy pressed her hands on her toned abs as she closed the gap between them, kissing her deeply as she pushed her to the armchair. Carol smirked as the redhead took her time to get off her entire suit before straddling Carol's lap.

 

"So… Am I okay, doctor Danvers?" Natasha asked playfully as Carol's hand slipped in the back pocket of her shorts.

 

Carol squeezed her ass as she pulled her chest against her own and started to kiss her neck, "You look fine, miss Romanoff," she whispered to her ear, "but I wanna double check, just to be sure."

 

Natasha began to let out long hums of pleasure as Carol kept on kissing her jaw before going down her neck to her collarbone and chest. The blonde felt Natasha's hands travelling down her arms until she stopped and grasped the fabric of her top when Carol started to suck on the sensible skin of her neck. The redhead cursed under her breath as Carol left a love bite on her skin and was pulling Carol's tank top up when a loud knock on the door stopped them both.

 

"Danvers, Romanoff! Quit making out and come back to the meeting room, I need your reports ASAP."

 

They both looked at the door, picturing the face of an exasperate Maria behind it, her hands on her hips as she waited for them to come out.

 

With a sigh, Natasha got off Carol's lap and went to her dressing room to borrow some close. The blonde joined her and laughed as she saw her doing on her girlfriend's neck, "You might wanna take a turtle-neck, baby," she said as she pulled Natasha in front of the mirror, "I didn't really think about the placement."

 

Natasha shook her head as she saw the mark and took the one turtle-neck sweater Carol had, "You'll get pay back for that, Danvers."

 

Carol picked some clothes of her own before going after her girlfriend. Just like anticipated, Maria was still at the door, but her arms were crossed, "You two are unbelievable," she told them as she pushed them in direction of the elevator, "you are lucky you have nothing to do for the next two days while Stark and Banner work on the Sceptre."

 

"Good because Carol's birthday must be celebrated properly," Natasha smirked.

 

Carol couldn't stop herself from blushing as she thought about what they could do for her birthday. Maria, on the other hand, rolled her eyes, "God, I hate you."

 

With all these ideas in her head, Carol couldn't wait for the next two days to pass so it would finally be her birthday.

Chapter 33: Partying

Chapter Text

Some times, Carol was really happy that she and Natasha had nothing to do other than to just existing, especially for birthday.

 

The day had started quite normally, she woke up with Natasha in her arms, scrunching her nose as usual when she was sleeping peacefully. Carol didn't need a present for her birthday, she told Natasha, the simple fact that she had her by her side was enough, and she had the chance to stare at her cute sleepy face for more than half an hour, nothing was better than that.

 

But the redhead eventually woke up, putting a stop at one of Carol's favourite activities, just for her to start another one. Natasha's habit when she was awake but didn't want to get up was to hide her face into Carol's neck or her hair, the blonde always letting her do it so she could turn on her side and have Natasha snuggled against her chest. The best in this was to feel her warmth, her hand that she would put on her chest every times, and what was even better this time was that they were both naked, therefore Carol was feeling every ounce of Natasha's skin on hers.

 

It took her ten more minutes to stop pretending, only because she couldn't hold a yawn that made Carol laugh, "Still sleepy, baby?" she asked as she moved some strands of hair from her face.

 

Natasha replied with a quiet hum before pulling her head back onto her pillow and rubbed the sleep off her eyes before speaking up, "Happy birthday beautiful."

 

"Thank you," Carol whispered before kissing Natasha's lips but suddenly pulled away, "Wait! You get to call me beautiful but I can't?"

 

"Exactly," Natasha muttered before burying her face in the crook of Carol's neck again.

 

With a smile on her lips, Carol pulled Natasha on top of her and allowed herself to rest her eyes a bit more as she melted into the embrace, the feeling of having Natasha there, so vulnerable yet so comfortable being one of her favourite part of their relationship but also the most overwhelming one. It was just the two of them, existing, and that was what she wanted, to be, with Natasha.

 

Natasha was a part of her, a big one, the best one, and she just needed to say it, "I love you, Natasha."

 

Smiling, Natasha rose her head before pressing her chin on Carol's chest, "You, too," she murmured before leaving a soft kiss on Carol's nose.

 

Carol had a hard time believing Natasha just said those two words, it was the closest she ever got to a I love you and, even if it was not it, it was completely enough for her. She was as proud of Natasha for getting over her fear of telling her she loved her as she was emotional, which was a great way to start the day despite the fact that she had tears in her eyes.

 

They continued their morning in bed with cuddles but it quickly escalated into something more heated, Carol's hands on Natasha's ass not helping them both to not get turned on. The redhead did insinuate two days prior to Maria that Carol's birthday would be celebrated with sex but after everything they did the night before, Carol didn't expect that they would do it again this morning. As usual slow, full of tenderness and trust, Carol had the best morning of her life, Natasha making her feel as good as she did for her.

 

Neither one of them wanted to get up after this magical morning, but Carol had promised that she would show up so the others could wish her a happy birthday. Reluctantly, she left Natasha alone in bed and put on the first pair of sweatpants and top she found. She also remembered on her way up to Tony's lab that she had said she would check up on how things were going for the Iron Man and the Hulk on the Sceptre.

 

As expected, they were both in the lab and in deep reflection when Carol walked in, "Hey nerds, how is it going?"

 

Tony suddenly turned off all the holographic screens of the room before turning to Carol, "Cap! Happy birthday," he exclaimed before giving her a quick hug.

 

"Happy birthday, Carol," said more calmly Bruce and gave her a warm embrace too.

 

"Thanks guys! But you didn't answer my question."

 

The two scientist shared a glance, Tony slightly shaking his head when Bruce squinted his eyes and frowned before the former finally answered, "Well, it's complicated to give you a clear answer since this," he pointed at the Sceptre with both his thumbs, "is a very complex artefact."

 

"Right," Carol exhaled as she scratched the back of her head, "but will you have an answer by the end of the week?"

 

"We hope so-"

 

"Yes," cut off Tony, "Jarvis is helping us, running numbers and all, it should be fine."

 

Carol slowly nodded, feeling like they were not telling her the whole truth but she really did have her head in the game to questioned them today.

 

When she was about to leave, Tony spoke up, "Jarvis, are you not wishing Cap a happy birthday?"

 

"I already did, Sir. About ten minutes ago when miss Danvers left miss Romanoff's room."

 

The blonde stopped breathing for a long moment, not knowing what to say if they asked her what she was doing in Natasha's room, "I see you already had a party with your bestie. It's fine but invite us next time."

 

After a relieved sigh and a nervous chuckle, Carol replied, "You guys seem to have enough fun here, I wouldn't bother."

 

"You're right! Don't disturb the science!" Bruce said a bit awkwardly.

 

"See ya, guys," she finished and stepped out of the room.

 

On the way to Maria's office, Carol thought about what Tony said, 'invite us next time' and had an amazing laugh, she would for sure never invite them to this kind of party. With Maria were Clint and Thor, who seemed to be in a deep conversation about which weapon was the best until Carol cleared her throat to get their attention.

 

"Should I come another time?" she asked politely.

 

"Cap! It's great to see you, happy birthday!" shouted Clint.

 

Maria got up from her chair and was quieter to wish her a happy birthday as she hugged her for a couple of seconds.

 

"How old are you supposed to be again?" Clint asked as Carol walked further into the room.

 

She chuckled, "Fifty five."

 

"Well, you definitely don't look fifty five. I wish I had powers like that," Maria commented as she sat back at her desk.

 

"I mean, Thor is like, thousands years old and he looks younger than Clint."

 

"Well, thanks Cap. Fair to compare me to a God."

 

"It is true that we both can be mistaken for younger individuals. That is what makes us very attractive, or so once said Loki," Thor said as he wrapped his arm around Carol shoulder, "I hope you will have a lovely day and an even better party tomorrow, happiest birthday to you, Carol."

 

The Captain thanked them all with a smile and made her way back to her girlfriend. When she entered the bedroom, she found Natasha with clothes on, disappointing, and her hands in her back, intriguing.

 

"How was it to be praised for your infinite beauty?" Natasha asked as Carol made her way to join her, "You know, the usual, I rather hear it from you," Carol flirted while trying to catch Natasha's arms but the spy was faster than her and dodged her attempt.

 

"So… I know you said no present but I just wanted brighten up your room for a few days," Natasha said before showing what was in her hands.

 

As a wonderful nod to Carol's present for Natasha's birthday, the redhead got her a bouquet of roses. There were two shades of orange and pink and white ones on the middle, "God, Natasha, that's just- wow!"

 

"I guess you don't know but these are the colours of the lesbian flag so I figured it'd be on theme for you."

 

"Well, lesbians made a very sexy flag," Carol giggled before pulling Natasha into a thanking kiss, "I love it."

 

Natasha smiled as she took a step forward and pressed the side of her head on Carol's chest, her eyes still on the bouquet. Carol could feel that she wasn't doing all right, even though she was trying to look like it.

 

"You good, baby?"

 

Natasha sighed, "I don't know… I just look at this and what it means and it's not me, you know. But I don't know what is me…"

 

"Well, it's not like you have to put a word on it. You owe nothing towards anybody concerning who you love and who you are, you can just be like… unlabelled I guess. You are you and you are dating me, that's it."

 

The redhead chuckled at the last words, "Yeah, you're right… I'm Carol-Danversexual."

 

Carol laughed, "Exactly!"

 

They remained in the middle of the room, slightly rocking as she stared at the bouquet for a few more minutes before Carol went to the living room to borrow a vase for her flowers before going back to Natasha's room. For the rest of the afternoon, they watched TV, cuddled up on the couch, until Natasha turned it off and gave the planning for the evening.

 

"I'm taking you out, little dinner at a restaurant not far, just you and me."

 

Carol didn't need more to get up and go to the bathroom to get ready. Seeing that Natasha was going to wear a midnight blue dress, she went for a matching outfit and took the three-piece suit she recently bought, it was a lighter blue than Natasha's clothes but it was close enough for her. It was the first time she wore a three-piece suit so tight, at first she felt a bit oppressed in it but then Natasha came and adjusted perfectly the jacket and blazer and Carol finally felt great and sexy in it.

 

The restaurant Natasha picked was one very close to the tower, Carol passed by it multiple times and often thought that she should try it one day, so there they were. It served dishes from all over Europe, Carol choosing one from Poland while Natasha went for the classic French snails. Because they couldn't be more of a cliché, they shared their food, Carol eating the half of Natasha's plate and the redhead asking for another round of Carol's. They finished dinner by sharing what was called the German dessert on the menu before strolling back to the tower.

 

Carol stomach was so full that she barely moved after throwing herself onto the bed, Natasha had to roll her on her side as she was in lying in the middle like a starfish. She had no difficulty finding sleep, and her last thought was about the party that was taking place the next evening.

 

The next day went on quite quickly as Carol and Natasha woke up around ten and stayed in bed until it was time for lunch. In the kitchen, they ate with Maria and Bruce, who was talking about a few things he and Tony discovered about the Sceptre, but the way Strucker enhanced people was still a mystery.

 

In the middle of the afternoon, a so called Falcon surprised Carol while she was working out. Natasha, who was just waiting for him to get in from the dance studio, joined and explained that she invited him so they would spend the party together to celebrate the Avengers' victory and Carol's birthday. The blonde was insufferable, she had not seen Sam since Thanksgiving and told him everything she had done while he was in Washington, still working on finding James Barnes.

 

She was not half way through her peripeteia when it was time for them to get into some more dressed up clothing. Carol went for a simple outfit, a blouse and black jeans, what she used to wear when she didn't like these type of clothes. Natasha had the same colours on a dress, a matching that had not been planned this time.

 

The party had already begun when they arrived to the living area, there were groups of people chatting, a few veterans were around the pool table, some women on the couches with glasses of champagne in their hands and a couple of men at the bar.

 

Before going into the crowd, Natasha and Carol hid in an alcove to have a little moment. They exchanged soft kisses and a long hug, Carol whispering to the smaller woman that she loved her, and then went on separated ways.

 

Carol quickly found Sam, who was dressed in the clothes he arrived in, with some of the veterans. They seemed to be in a very disputed game of pool, therefore Carol didn't bother them until they were done.

 

She was about to step in when Sam saw her, "Gentlemen! Can we please give some space to the Captain, it's kind of her birthday party!"

 

Carol slightly blushed as she took the pool cue from his hands, "I happen to be an amazing pool player," she bragged, "anyone want to try me?"

 

They did five games, she won four, lost to an old man she could swear she had seen before in her life. When it wasn't her turn to play, Carol was looking for Natasha in the crowd, she first spotted her talking with Rhodey, later with Maria and finally with Tony before she disappeared. The other Avengers where going from group of people to other groups, some times chatting together as well. Carol loved to observe what was going on, Dr. Cho talking with Thor and then Clint, Rhodey telling his tank story to all the guests, Bruce being socially awkward as he always was.

 

After two great hours, Sam had to go back to his hotel, his flight back to Washington being early the next day. Before he left, they went on a more private space to finish the discussion they started in the afternoon, "Still nothing?"

 

Sam shook his head, "Our missing person is still impossible to find."

 

"He must be somewhere," Carol groaned before spotting Natasha with Clint, her features instantly softening at the sight of her girlfriend.

 

"When are you two going to have a place of you own?" Sam asked, looking at the redhead as well.

 

"I don't know… when we will be official I guess."

 

"How is that going?"

 

"Natasha said the other time that we are thinking about it, but to be fair I don't need to think I just want her, now. Like literally, I just wanna go to her side and kiss her right now."

 

Sam chuckled, "Pretty sure she wouldn't like that much. But at least she is considering it."

 

"I don't want to push her, you know, it's just so frustrating."

 

With a comforting smile, Sam patted Carol's shoulder, "You've been doing great with her since the first day you two met, just continue to be supportive and it will eventually get better."

 

"You're right, thanks Sam."

 

"I'm always right, Cap!" he teased before making his way to the elevator.

 

Carol accompanied him to the lobby, gave him a goodbye hug and went back upstairs. Her only wish was to go find Natasha, to be close to her, but she got stopped by Thor who was with the veterans Carol and Sam played pool with not that long ago.

 

"Danvers, are you interested in drinking some thousand years old alcohol," Thor nicely offered as he showed her the flask.

 

Carol chuckled, "Oh no, I'm good. I've had those Asguardian drinks, it's not that strong."

 

She smirked as she left a jaw dropped Thor and greeted the veteran again before searching for Natasha again.

 

She saw her with Bruce at the bar, drinking some kind of red Russian Cocktail – that Natasha once made to Carol – while chatting. She observed them, they both seemed comfortable, which was surprising considering their pasts, but it was also a great thing, it meant Natasha was getting over her PTSD and Bruce over his crush, if he ever did have a crush on Natasha.

 

If Carol didn't know better, she would think they were flirting, some people around might think that but the blonde and a few other people knew with who Natasha shared a bed every night.

 

After a few minutes, Bruce left, moment for Carol to do her best jealous act, "You know, if you wanna make sure that he has a crush on you, you could just ask him instead of flirting like that."

 

Natasha frowned, "What?"

 

"Bruce, the cocktail, the fluttering eye-lashes, don't you think I know how you do it? When you did it on me."

 

"Carol, I would never do that!"

 

Not capable to hold her amusement, Carol burst into laughter, the redhead looking at her with confusion, "I'm kidding, baby. I know you wouldn't flirt with anyone."

 

Natasha sighed in relief, "God, don't ever do that to me again."

 

"I'm sorry, it was too tempting," Carol muttered as she took Natasha's hand, "it's not the only thing that is tempting," she added and looked around, saw that only remained the Avengers, Dr. Cho and Rhodey behind her at the couches and brought Natasha's hand to her mouth to kiss her knuckle, "We could tell them now."

 

"Carol…"

 

"Or not!" she retorted before taking a sip of Natasha's drink, "It's totally fine, but there is just one thing."

 

"What thing?" wondered Natasha, her lips pressed together and her brows slightly furrowed telling the blonde that she was seeing that something was coming.

 

After watching her six, checking that nobody was looking at them, Carol quickly leaned in a pecked Natasha's lips before joining her friends around the coffee table. Natasha followed, sat beside her and leaned to her ear, "You are an idiot," she whispered with a neutral face as she acted like she was listening to the conversation Clint and Tony were having while Carol was doing her best not to laugh.

 

Carol listened to the few conversations that were going on before including herself in Maria's and Clint's who were talking about the old days of S.H.I.E.L.D in Washington. Natasha quickly joined the conversation as well and it was as if they were back in 2012 after New York, Carol leading her first mission with reluctant members of Strike team. Some of them were still out in the world, probably hiding, knowing that they would spend the rest of their days in prison if they were caught and one day the Avengers would have to deal with this.

 

Without realising it, Carol was playing with the handle of Mjolnir that was in front of her on the table, pushing it from her left hand to her right and back to the left again until Clint noticed.

 

"Wait! Cap! How do you do that?" he asked as he stared at her hands.

 

Carol looked down at the hammer and shrugged, but when she looked back up, everybody's eyes were on her. Confused, she turned to Thor who seemed ashamed somehow, "Man? Is that normal?" she asked him as he rubbed the back of his neck.

 

"I might have known this since that one time we fought when you captured Loki and forgot to mention it."

 

"Mention what?" Tony wondered.

 

Out of curiosity, Carol stood up and seized the handle of the hammer, the only way to confirm her doubts. After a deep breath, she pulled the hammer and it just came with her, she had it in her hand, this legendary weapon that was Mjolnir was in her hand, she could lift it.

 

"So, yeah… you happen to be worthy," Thor concluded while the others were dumbstruck, in awe by this new thing that Carol could do.

 

"Wait, so I can control the thunder with this, right?" Carol asked with excitement.

 

"Yes you can!"

 

Natasha took Carol's hand and pulled her back on the couch, "Don't make a big deal out of this. And please be careful with the thunder when we are inside."

 

Carol nodded before handing the hammer to Natasha, "Wanna try?"

 

The redhead shook her head, "It's not a question I need answered."

 

Carol knew why Natasha didn't want to try, she simply didn't think she could be worthy. But Carol disagreed, Natasha was surely worthier than the Captain because since the first day she was given the opportunity to be on the right side, she joined it and did good, helped people around her. Natasha didn't see it like that of course, for her, S.H.I.E.L.D wasn't good because of HYDRA, and everything she did in her past was too bloody to clean up, though Carol did the same kind of monstrosities and she could wield the hammer now.

 

The blonde wasn't going to insist, she knew it wouldn't do any good, but she still wanted to test something. She saw it before, people who weren't worthy felt the giant weight that Mjolnir had if it was on their chest, preventing them to breathe, when a worthy person would just feel the normal weight of a hammer this big. Considering that, she supposed that if she just put Mjolnir on Natasha's lap and that she didn't complain about the weight, she would be worthy.

 

Doing it was harder though, she had to be smooth about it and also fast because Clint wanted to try and lift it. When the redhead wasn't looking, Carol leaned forward and slowly put the hammer on Natasha's lap before gently caressing her thigh. Natasha not saying anything, Carol smiled to herself but her girlfriend suddenly looked back at her, "Put that back there, I wanna see Clint make a fool of himself."

 

Without saying anything, Carol put the hammer where she had taken it and watched the show that followed, "Clint, you've had a tough week, we won't hold it against you if you can't get it up," joked Tony.

 

They all laughed while Clint tried, and failed, to lift Mjolnir, Clint responding to Tony's mockery by defying him. Tony, being the man he his, didn't step back and, after a grunt and a failed attempt, went to his personal armoury to get a part of his suit, as if having more strength would help. As it was still not working, Tony asked Rhodey to go get his suit to help him but even the two of them could lift it a little bit. Maria also refused to try, saying it was like exactly the same as teenage boys comparing the size of their penises, at what Carol and Natasha laughed very hard. Last went Bruce, and, after he awkwardly pretended that he was turning into the Hulk while trying, he went back to his seat.

 

"It's a space thing, isn't it? Whoever has been in space can lift it or something?" theorised Tony.

 

"Yes, it's a very, very interesting theory," Thor said as he stood up, "I have a simpler one," he added and lifted his hammer, "You're all not worthy."

 

The non-worthy men booed him while Carol, Natasha and Maria laughed, Carol even more amused than the other two women because she knew not only her but also Natasha was worthy – if her theory was accurate.

 

The moment got interrupted by a high-pitched noise echoing in the whole floor. They all grimaced but didn't searched for more details on the source o f the noise until they heard a kind of growling saying worthy.

 

Turning to the direction of the sound, Carol gasped when she saw a robot made with different pieces of Tony's Iron Legion, who was walking in the living room, leaving a trail of oil on the floor as it stumbled and finally stood in front of everybody, "How could you be worthy?" its robotic voice said, "You are all killers."

 

They all got on their feet but Maria, Carol instantly stepping in front of Natasha to protect her even if she knew she was fully capable of taking care of herself. She quietly asked Tony what was happening, to what he didn't replied but questioned Jarvis for more infos. The AI, normally in full control of the building, didn't respond to his creator, which was very terrifying.

 

"I'm sorry, I was asleep," continued the bot, "Or, I was a-dream. There was this terrible noise and I was tangled in… in… strings. I had to kill the other guy, he was a good guy."

 

"Killed who?" Carol asked, though the fact that Jarvis was not responding was a big hint of who this other guy was.

 

"Wouldn't have been my first call but, down in the real world, we're faced with ugly choices."

 

"Who sent you?" spoke Thor.

 

The robot tilted its head, "I see a suit of armour around the world," it said with Tony's voice.

 

"Ultron," gasped Bruce as he looked at his science partner who seemed in shock.

 

"In the flesh," the bot replied, "or, no, not yet. Not this chrysalis. But I'm ready, I'm on mission."

 

"What mission?" Natasha asked, her voice huskier than usual and slightly trembling.

 

"Peace of our time."

 

Behind the bot, two other Iron Legion bots flew out of the windows and rushes toward the group. Carol's reflex was to turn into her binary form to blast the first bot that was flying right in her direction. More robots flew in as Carol pushed Natasha and Bruce away for them to go get covered behind the bar.

 

Carol thought about controlling herself with her photon blasts but, as she saw that half the windows of the living room were already broken and that Thor was creating holes in the walls with Mjolnir, Carol didn't restrain her powers. Most of her blasts hit their target, but there were a lot of bots flying around, probably the entire Iron Legion.

 

Finding a moment to catch her breath, Carol saw Tony on the back of a bot, flying at least ten feet above the floor while Thor beheaded robots with his hammer. Natasha and Bruce were hidden behind a wall, Natasha shooting the robots with a gun. Maria, Clint and Rhodey were nowhere in sight, so Carol had to go back to fighting. She flew across the room to catch a bot threatening Dr. Cho before blasting the two that remained.

 

"That was dramatic," Ultron commented as they were all panting, "I'm sorry, I know you mean well, you just didn't think it through. You want to protect the world but you don't want it to change. How is humanity saved if it's not allowed to evolve? With these?" Ultron added as it took and destroyed robot in its hand and threw it away, "These puppets. There's only one path to peace, the Avengers extinction."

 

These were the last words that Thor allowed, he threw his hammer at Ultron, breaking it in two pieces, but the robot was not dead yet, and it sang "I had strings, but now I'm free."

 

Its eyes lost their light and he was gone, leaving the Avengers in a mess that was what used to be their living room.

 

Carol's first instinct was to go check on Natasha, who met her half way, hesitating to touch her but cupped her cheek in the end, "You okay?" they asked at the same time to not reply in the end.

 

The others were just standing in the middle of the room, Thor staring at his hammer, Tony inspecting the corpse of Ultron while Maria and Rhodey made their way back from where they had been projected by one of the bots. It started to get really oppressive when Carol looked away to see her team mates motionless, staring at their feet or into space.

 

It was her role to lead them, but if she was being honest, she didn't really know what to do herself and giving them the task of figuring it out would be a coward move, "He said he killed someone, we should look into that first. And clean this up perhaps."

 

"And also look where he's been," Natasha added, "if he was in our servers we are in deep shit."

 

In a heavy silence, Tony went to his lab, Maria and Rhodey following him close. Thor left for somewhere, he seemed extremely angry but Carol didn't feel like doing feelings management tonight, especially when she had her own and Natasha's to deal with. It eventually was only them in the living room, Clint checked on them before joining the group in the lab and Bruce had left without them noticing.

 

"I'm gonna get out of this," Natasha said and looked down at her dress, "walk me there?"

 

The soft smile from Carol was enough for Natasha to slip her hand into hers, pulling her forward as she went to the staircase. Carol loved those simple moments, it wasn't anything amazing, they were just holding hands, but she was so used to doing it when they were walking together that she had to force herself to not do it when they were around the Avengers.

 

When they entered Natasha's bedroom, Carol let go of her hand just for the redhead to take it again until they were in the bathroom, "Help me take it off, please."

 

Carol looked at Natasha in the mirror and smiled as she reached the zipper. She pulled the sleeves off Natasha's shoulders, the dress falling on the floor to reveal her strapless bra and panties. Carol allowed herself to hold Natasha from behind as the smaller woman didn't move to get into other clothes. She pulled her against her body and kissed her bare shoulder, her neck, her temple, Natasha leaning into the touch every time.

 

"Carol…" Natasha tried to protest but she was loud about her pleasure, "stop," she breathed as her hand found Carol's hands on her belly, she gently pushed them away before turning over, "we have to go back at some point," she said as she ran her pointing finger on the visible part of Carol's chest, "and I know you are doing this because you don't wanna think about why Tony and Bruce made Ultron."

 

"To be honest, I don't understand. I hope he has a solid explanation."

 

Natasha left without a word, caressing Carol's cheek before she got out of the bathroom. For a minute, Carol stayed in the middle of the room, staring at herself in the mirror, and wondered what was the reason for them to make a bot, what was Ultron's initial purpose and why did it turn against them. Those answers, she would only get them if they went back to the lab, therefore she stepped out of the bathroom. Natasha was now dressed with a pair of black jeans and a tank top that was most likely Carol's.

 

After nodding at the door, Natasha started walking and Carol caught up, mindlessly reaching her hand the moment she could. Natasha grabbed a jacket – that was also Carol's – on the way and they joined the team in Tony's lab. They encountered Maria in the elevator, who was looking for them to show what she found.

 

As Natasha expected, Ultron went through everything that was in their servers before deleting it, but it also found an access to the internet and went somewhere thanks to it. One of Tony's "Legionnaire" stole the Sceptre for Ultron to use it again. Tony also let them know why he and Bruce made Ultron, "to protect Earth" was the only thing written, which was hard to accept for Carol since they, and especially she, were there for this exact reason.

 

In the lab were everybody but Thor. Their faces were still filled with the shock of what happened in the living room, it made it harder for Carol to start the conversation, "What do you all have?"

 

"All our work is gone," Bruce began, "Ultron cleared out. He used the Internet as an escape hatch."

 

Natasha continued as she read the informations on the tablet Maria gave her, "He's been in everything. Files, surveillance… Probably knows more about us than we know about each other."

 

At that, Carol wanted to disagree, she thought she knew Natasha perfectly and vice versa, but it was not the moment for this kind of comments.

 

"He's in your file, he's in the Internet. What if he decides to access something a little more exciting?" Rhodey asked.

 

"Nuclear codes," Maria guessed and Rhodey repeated to confirm it, "we need to make some calls, assuming we still can."

 

"Nukes?" wondered Natasha, "he said he wanted us dead."

 

"He wants us extinct, Natasha," Carol corrected, "it makes a big difference."

 

"And who did he kill?" Clint asked.

 

"There wasn't anyone else in the building," Maria noted.

 

"Yes there was," Tony finally spoke up and showed them what Carol knew was the representation of how Jarvis "thought" in some ways.

 

Bruce took a closer look to the dead AI, "This is insane," he commented.

 

"Jarvis must have tried to stop him, Ultron fought back," Carol supposed.

 

Bruce disagreed, "Ultron could have assimilated Jarvis. This isn't strategy, this is rage."

 

Before anybody could add anything, Thor, in his Asgard clothes, bursted in and lifted Tony in the air by gripping his neck, "Come on, use your words, buddy," Tony choked.

 

"I have more than enough words to describe you, Stark."

 

Before it would end in a murder, Carol intervened, pushing Thor away after she lowered his arm so Tony had his feet on the ground, "One of your bot went away, it's headed north and it has the Sceptre. Now we have to retrieve it, again."

 

"I don't understand," said Dr. Cho, "You built this program, why is it trying to kill us?"

 

Of all the reactions Tony could have had, Carol didn't expect him to laugh, not after he made a bot that wanted to kill people. They all looked at him with surprise and confusion on their faces, Bruce trying to shut him up but it didn't work.

 

"You think this is funny," Thor asked with clear annoyance on his features.

 

Tony spun to look at him, "No, it's probably not, right? This is very terrible. Is it so," he laughed again, "Is it so… It is, it is so terrible."

 

"This could have been avoided if you hadn't played with something you can't control."

 

"No! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it is funny. It's a hoot that you don't get why we need this."

 

"Well, I don't understand either," Carol cut off as she stepped forward, "explain it to me because the whole to protect Earth thing doesn't work with me."

 

"Anybody remember when I carried a nuke through a wormhole? Which should have been your job, by the way."

 

"Right, so you made a murder bot because of me."

 

"We weren't even close, were we close to an interface?" Tony asked to Bruce who just rolled his eyes and looked away, "Earth needs to be protected, a hundred percent of the time."

 

"That's why I'm here," Carol shouted, "that's why Thor's here. That's why we all, in this room, are here for."

 

"For once, he is rarely here and you, don't you have other planets to save? You are the mighty Captain Marvel, already flying through space when Hill and Romanoff were still in diaperse, you visited every corner of the universe, fly at light speed and beat up aliens but now you can stay to protect Earth. Why is that?"

 

Carol didn't know what to say, if she was being honest she didn't really know why she had not been check up on what was happening in space since she arrived four years ago but she never got any communication from anybody and supposed she wasn't needed.

 

A lot of thoughts went through her head but she couldn't order them before Natasha spoke up, "She is staying for me," she said, joined Carol on the other side of the room and took her hand, "for us."

 

The blonde instantly understood what she was doing, so did the ones who knew about their relationship, but it seemed more complicated for those who didn't.

 

"What?" asked Tony.

 

Carol looked at her girlfriend, who smiled at her before capturing her lips. It lasted a second, but, at the end of it, Carol felt like the weight of an entire planet left her shoulders, they were finally official to everybody.

 

As she looked at everybody in the room, Carol saw Clint proud smile, Rhodey whispered something to Maria that sounded like I had a feeling about this and Bruce and Thor didn't seem to mind. But Tony, he was in shock, Carol's theory that he knew and was calling them besties just to annoy them was very wrong.

 

"You are… a thing," he eventually muttered.

 

"Yes," Natasha replied, "it's been more than a year now. We just wanted to keep the circle small for a while, until I felt… better."

 

"Better about?"

 

"Come on Tony, you know."

 

Carol could see the realisation into his eyes, the traumas Carol knew the two of them had been talking about since the support group, those were the reasons why Natasha wanted to keep it for them.

 

"Carol has been helping me with a lot of things. She came here for Nick but she stayed for me, and for the Avengers."

 

"Right," Tony sighed, "I still believe having an artificial intelligence capable of protecting Earth is a good idea, that way we can all retire."

 

Retiring, such a utopian dream for Carol. She told Natasha more than once that they would retire when she would be done being a hero but the truth was that Carol didn't know if she could ever stop. She had powers so useful, not using them to help people would be so selfish, but at the same time she wanted to have a life of her own, being defined by something else than her being Captain Marvel the superhero. She wanted to be a good girlfriend, to become a wife maybe, she couldn't wait to be a parent, a grandparent, an aunt, to help people in other ways. All of these she hoped she would be one day but she was always remembered of the responsibilities she had towards all the civilizations all over the galaxies that needed her help that imagining her future became impossible, her future was like her present, saving the universe.

 

In the end, she decided not to comment on Tony's words and gave an order she knew they would all appreciate, "Alright! I think we should all take some rest and tomorrow we will get back to it, find Ultron, his real intentions, the Sceptre. Is that okay for everyone?"

 

They nodded or vocally agreed before some left, Dr. Cho being led to her room by Maria, Thor going back to his as well as Clint. When it was just Rhodey, Tony and Bruce with the couple, the former came to them and gave his blessing on their relationship, which made Natasha very happy. Bruce also had a nice word to them before leaving and then it was just them and Tony.

 

"Stark, you haven't said anything about me and Carol."

 

His eyes fixed on the screen of his computer, he answered, "What is there to say? You two are in love, you've been hiding it because you didn't want to have to deal with my annoying ass and the rest of your shits at the same time, I get it. And there is all your commitment issues, I guess you don't actually have these problems anymore since you've been committed to someone for a year but great act, really, I fell for it."

 

Natasha seemed to be waiting for something else, but Carol couldn't tell what, it was just obvious by the way Natasha stared at him, which he definitely noticed but was avoiding her eyes.

 

After a couple of minutes, Tony did glance at her and she didn't let him get away with it. She took a step forward, elegantly put her hand on his desk and waited until he finally gave in, "Alright!" he exclaimed as he rose his hands in defeat, "Okay, I'm happy for you. You look cute together. Happy now?"

 

Natasha smiled at him and nodded before walking to the exit, pulling Carol with her as she did. The blonde didn't ask her girlfriend why she insisted so much, she supposed they had talked about her dating life in one of their private conversations and he must have told her that Pepper help him a lot, therefore her having a partner could do it too.

 

Carol let Natasha guiding her to her room and in the en suite bathroom, watched her taking her clothes off before she came standing in front of her, "We are official," she announced as she took Carol's hands and led them to the small of her back, "How do you feel about it?"

 

As she smirked, Carol slipped her hands on Natasha's ass, only covered with her panties, and lifted her up on the bathroom counter, "Like I'm free to do whatever the fuck I want."

 

Natasha replied with a wide grin as she unbuttoned Carol's blouse, "I feel liberated too. It's like another chapter of us, you know."

 

Carol nodded as she leaned in, stopped a centimetre away from Natasha's lips just to tease her, to make her crave her touch, and finally kissed.

 

"Can't wait to see what this new chapter will be made of."

Chapter 34: The witch and the speedster

Chapter Text

After such unexpected events, it wasn't a surprise that Carol and Natasha barely slept during the night. They were both stressed out about what Ultron could be looking to do, but Carol was also still angry about the reason why Tony was trying to make this bot.

 

In some ways, she could understand, waiting for the attackers to strike was not a good strategy because they were always casualties. Anticipating was a complex art, no civilizations ever managed to stop every armies that came to their planet in space, not even the Kree yet they were one of, if not the best at spying on their enemies and preventing attacks from happening. The last option was Tony's, being protected a hundred percent of the time, not allowing any foreign civilizations to approach your planet, it would mean Earth would be in a bubble but it had been since the creation of the universe, it just changed a few years ago, with Mar-Vell, then the Kree and Carol.

 

So much went through Carol's head that she didn't even get the usual five hours of sleep that were enough for her. She slept for the first couple of hours of the night and woke up with a start, Natasha already awake beside her and calming her. The redhead didn't find sleep at all, afraid that it would bring her a nightmare, so Carol told her it was her time to rest and that she would stay awake and check on her. Carol watched her girlfriend sleep for a few hours, four at best, and when Natasha got awaken, they decided to get up and go to work, it wasn't six in the morning yet.

 

They made their way to the workspace, holding hands, and when they entered and saw that Tony and Maria were already there, Carol had the reflex to let go of Natasha's hand before remembering that they didn't have to hide anymore. Natasha looked back at Carol with a mocking smile before joining Tony at the main computer of the room.

 

"I set everybody's alarms at six thirty so we've got half an hour to find something," Tony announced before letting Natasha take his place.

 

Carol went to see what Maria was working on with her tablet but she had nothing interesting as of yet. Tony was analysing the ripped in two body of Ultron, he seemed to be looking for something, "Anything?" she asked him just when he pulled out a little piece of metal out of Ultron's chest cavity, "This is a tracker. The fact that it was not removed means that those on the legionnaire's might still be on to, if they are we can find the one that has the Sceptre."

 

"I thought we already had that. How did Thor knew it headed north?"

 

Tony shrugged, "We have surveillance videos of it living but we lost track of it."

 

"Right," sighed Carol, "anything I can do?"

 

The Iron Man looked around and shook his head, "Nah… You could get ready though, the moment we have something we'll go after it."

 

Carol didn't discuss the order and went to the armoury on the jet's floor, put on the bottom part of her suit and left the top in the jet. On the way back, Maria was there to show her something she found.

 

"Ultron is all over the globe. Robotics labs, weapons facilities, jet propulsion labs. Reports of a metal man, or men, coming in and emptying the place."

 

"Let me guess," Carol interrupted, "he killed the people that were there?"

 

"Only when engage hopefully. Mostly guys left in a fugue state going on about old memories, worst fears, and "something too fast to see"."

 

"Sounds like our witch and speedster."

 

"Yep! But the person they had in common has been…" Maria paused as she handed Carol her tablet, "taken care of."

 

Carol was not that much surprised when she saw the photograph of Strucker in his cell, a bullet hole in his chest. What did shock her was the five capital letters written on the wall, "PEACE".

 

With a sigh, Carol gave the tablet back to Maria and rubbed her temple, "The team's up yet?"

 

"Clint is on his way, don't know about Thor and Banner but it's past thirty so their alarms awoke them anyway."

 

"Alright then, team meeting in ten."

 

Back in the meeting room, Clint and Thor were there, and Bruce walked in a minute later, "Maria just got a report from NATOs, Ultron killed Strucker," Carol announced as Maria showed them the picture.

 

"And he did a Banksy at the crime scene," Tony said, "just for us."

 

"This is a smoke screen. Why send a message when you've just given a speech," Natasha smartly pointed out.

 

"Because Strucker knew something that Ultron doesn't want us to know."

 

Natasha sighed, "Everything we had on Strucker has been erased."

 

"Not everything actually," Carol told her and went to the shelves filled with old S.H.I.E.L.D files.

 

There were many boxes, it took them ten minutes to find those about Strucker, but they were full of informations, they just had to find the right ones. Luckily, the search for something useful went fast as Tony recognised one of Strucker's known associates.

 

"I know that guy," he said as he saw the file Bruce had in his hands, "from back in the days," when Tony and Stark Industries were still making weapons, Carol remembered from his file, "he operates off the African coast, black market arms. He was talking about finding new, a game-changer."

 

Thor took the file from his hands, Carol stepping beside him to have a look as well, "This?" the God of thunder asked as he pointed at the smuggler's neck.

 

"Ah, it's a tattoo, I don't think he had it," Tony told him.

 

"No, those are tattoos, this is a brand."

 

Rather quickly, Bruce scanned the picture that Thor talked about and entered the symbol in and put it in a decoding program. After a dozen of seconds, the computer beeped as it found the meaning of the symbol, "It's a word in an African dialect meaning thief, in much less friendly way."

 

"Dialect from where?" Natasha asked.

 

"Wakanda."

 

"Shit," Tony swore.

 

Bruce got up and walked to Tony's side, "I don't follow, what comes out of Wakanda?"

 

"Vibranium," Carol replied before Tony could, "The metal Captain America's shield is made of."

 

"Also the strongest metal on Earth," Tony specified.

 

"It is one of the strongest in the universe as well, for what I saw," Carol told them, Natasha instantly sitting up, seemingly interested to hear more about other adventures of Carol in space but it would have to wait, "If this Klaue person has Vibranium and Ultron knows about it, he will go after him to get it."

 

"Then we go and get it first," Natasha proposed, "we just have to find him."

 

Luckily for them, one of Klaue's lieutenants had been arrested on the African coast, in Somalia, and he had been followed after he was released, which gave the local police the place where they operated. The problem was that, if the Avengers could find these people so easily, so could Ultron, therefore they must act fast.

 

The whole team quickly made its way to the quinjet, Maria giving them last minutes infos as they took their equipments and got on board. They successively put their suits before gathering around the pilot sit where Carol was, "We have to be careful, this might be a Salvage Yard but there is a city a few miles north, we can't risk Ultron and the Maximoffs going there and killing people."

 

"We also can't risk the Hulk to do the same," Bruce said, "I'll stay in the jet, call a code green if needed."

 

For the rest of the plan, Carol, Thor and Tony would go by the front, since they were the ones with flying capacities, and Natasha and Clint would sneak in and take whoever was inside from behind. They were sure to face Klaue and his men, but the biggest risk was that Ultron and the twins would be there too, that would be a much more complicated fight.

 

Landing on the coast, they all found their positions, the front team waiting for the back team to get closer before going in. As they stepped inside, Carol and her team mates heard two voices, Ultron's, and one that the blonde didn't know, she supposed it was Klaue, which Tony confirmed. They waited a bit more, the ex S.H.I.E.L.D agents still not ready for an attack, and heard that the conversation became heated.

 

It was their moment to intervene and Natasha gave them the green light just in time, in sync with Ultron's sentence that gave Tony the perfect way to walk in.

 

"Stark is… He's a sickness!" groaned the bot, in a way better shape than when they first encountered him.

 

"Ah, Junior," Tony said as he landed in front of him, Carol and Thor standing on each side of him, "You're gonna break your old man's heart."

 

"If I have to," Ultron replied.

 

"Nobody has to break anything," Thor told him.

 

"Clearly you've never made an omelette," joked the robot.

 

Tony turned to Thor, "He beat me by one second," he said and Carol rolled her eyes, it was really not the moment to be sassy.

 

"Ah, yes. This is funny," Pietro Maximoff deadpanned as he stepped forward, "Mr. Stark… It's what? Comfortable?" he asked as he looked around at the missiles stored in this wreck, "Like old times?"

 

"This was never my life," Tony told them, though it wasn't something they would like to hear.

 

Carol didn't like that the twins were there, they were still young, manipulable, Ultron was clearly using them to get what he wanted. The team had not discussed this, but Carol had to try to stop them, "Why are you two there, shouldn't you be in school or something?" she said half seriously, trying to ease the situation but Ultron didn't let her.

 

"Ah you! It wasn't easy to understand who you are, I'm still not sure but since you stand beside Tony Stark I have to assume you think like him."

 

Carol chuckled, "There is actually a lot with don't agree on but wanting peace is something we share."

 

"I think you're confusion peace with quiet," Ultron told them.

 

"Huh-uh, what's the Vibranium for?" Tony asked to his creation.

 

"I'm glad you asked that because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan."

 

At the end of its sentence, Ultron used some kind of magnetic field in its hand to pull Tony towards it while two bots flew in and attacked Thor and Carol. The Captain instantly fought back, turning binary as she beat up a robot but Tony, who was now in the air, fighting hand to hand with Ultron, said something not stupid for once, "Cap… careful please… This place is full of missiles, you wouldn't want to blow up your girl."

 

It was a good point, despite the little tease, her photon blasts could easily set off a missile, and in this confined place, if one blew they all would. She could still use them but she had to be wise and only shoot if she was sure to hit her target.

 

After getting a rid of the robot attacking her, Carol made her way to Wanda Maximoff, she wanted to neutralise her as soon as possible in order to go help Tony with Ultron. She couldn't take one step, she was instantly blocked by a red beam of power that sent her flying in the wall behind her.

 

This witch was, indeed, powerful and she might not be at her maximum yet, considering what Maria had told her about her capacities. Fighting her would be complex, since Carol had to be sure before shooting blasts, but they had to stop her or she would do a lot of damage on their side.

 

As they continued on fighting Ultron and its bots, Klaue's men arrived and started shooting, but hopefully Carol didn't risk anything in her binary form and their aim was so bad that it didn't reach Thor. And if one better shooter would step in, Clint was there to take care of them, on a footbridge on a higher level of the bot and Natasha was preventing them from reaching the main room where they were fighting, catching them in the hallways.

 

As she fought more bots, Carol suddenly got punched right in the chin and fell on her ass. She took a moment to get a grip on herself and stood back on her feet to see Pietro Maximoff not far, flying threw the boat his he was hanging onto Mjolnir. She followed him down on the hold of the boat and gave him back his punch, surely a stronger one than his as she didn't control her strength.

 

Carol continued fighting more of Klaue's men and Ultron's bot when she heard a static from her communication device. She was about to ask what was going on when she was tackled down by Pietro Maximoff, who somehow got up after the hit he took, and before Carol could fight back, she felt a throbbing pain that twisted her brain and shutting her eyes brought even worse than that.

 


 

Carol was in Andromeda galaxy, she could recognise it easily by the star cluster at its centre. She was on her way to Skrullos, the planet where the Skrulls civilization lived.

 

S he had not been there for so long, almost five years, she wondered if some things had changed. Of course it had, the Skrulls were a very smart specie s, they loved to innovate, especially Talos and Soren.

 

Her first instinct was to go to their home, in a calm village not so far from the capital. Talos had retired after Carol helped them find a new home away from the Kree, he was not a soldier anymore, he was just a husband and a father and that suited him very well.

 

But when Carol landed, she didn't find the little house where she had passed countless of days in like it used to be, it had been destroyed, half of the roof was now a large hole, the spare room that was Carol's when she would visit didn't exist anymore. It was with worry that she approached the ruined house and knocked on the door, hoping that despite the mess her friends were still safe and sound.

 

After the longest minute of her life, Soren opened the door, her usually full of joy face now emotionless. Thinking it was a joke, Carol attempted to step in but was stopped by Soren's hand on her chest, gentle at first but she suddenly grasped her suit and pushed her away, Carol landing on the dehydrated dirt.

 

"How dare you show up here and think you are welcomed!" Soren shouted as Carol got back on her feet, misunderstanding filling her thoughts, "How dare you stand where he stood!"

 

"Soren, what are you talking about?"

 

"You left us and they found us," the alien cried as she pointed at her destroyed house behind her, "The Kree found us and killed more than the half of the population, the men, so we can't procreate, and all the commanders."

 

"No…" Carol chocked as her throat tightened, Talos' and Soren's daughter had become a commander of the Skrulls civilization, she wanted to help her people like her father did.

 

"You abandoned us, Carol, and now our species will soon be extinct, because you weren't there to help us."

 

The blonde could not control her tears, the news of her friends' death was unbearable. Soren was right, she should have been there to help them, she should have fight the Kree, she should have killed them all when she had the possibility.

 

"I'm so sorry Soren. Please, tell me I can do something to help."

 

Soren slightly shook her head and turned her back to the Captain. When Carol thought she was going to let her out there, Soren spun and glared at her before snapping her fingers.

 

Suddenly, Carol was surrounded by people, she recognised Talos cousin and others that she had met a few times. They were on a high level of alert, running all over the property, getting weapons out of old boxes.

 

"Thank god you're there," said Talos from behind Carol, "The Kree are close, they found us and have an armada of ships, they are going to kill us all."

 

A second later, Carol was flying out of the planet's atmosphere in direction of the ships. It was her favourite activity in space, to ripped up battle ships of civilizations trying to colonise other planets. The moment she saw them, she flew through them and they blew up, no one survived.

 

She landed back on Skrullos acclaimed by the people, Talos, Soren and their daughter there to thank her for saving them. She stayed for a celebrating dinner but told her friend that she had to leave, that her girlfriend was waiting for her on Earth.

 

When she arrived in New York, she didn't find the Avengers tower like she knew it, it had not been repaired after the battle against Loki, the city was still a big mess. Her first reflex was to go find Bruce, she remembered where he lived before Natasha recruited him and hoped he would be there.

 

She found him in his little office in Calcutta, working on some of his patients' files.

 

"Bruce, hi!" she greeted him and the man jumped with surprise.

 

"Danvers, why are you there?" he asked, looking a bit angry.

 

"I went to the tower but it's a mess, what happened? Where is Tony? And Natasha?"

 

The doctor took his glasses off before searching for something in a drawer, "You didn't hear the news?" he asked and Carol shook her head, "Tony and Natasha, they both… committed suicide," he added and gave her a magazine with the faces of her girlfriend and friend on the cover, "After New York, Tony became alcoholic, he drank to forget what he saw in this wormhole and it slowly killed him."

 

"That's not possible," Carol muttered as she read the date of the magazine, December 2013, a year and a half after the events of New York.

 

"You know Natasha, she already had a lot of demons and um… adding me has one was the last straw, she couldn't bare living anymore."

 

"But…" Carol cried, "she was doing okay when I left."

 

"You left right after the battle. How can you say she was okay?" Bruce retorted with an angrier tone, "Natasha liked you, she trusted you, but you left anyway and she never recovered from that."

 

"But I was helping people! I can't be everywhere!" Carol defended herself but she knew it was not a good enough excuse.

 

"I know, you were helping people, but while you were away you were not helping Tony and Natasha when they needed you."

 

Carol had difficulties processing the informations, both Tony and Natasha had died because of the traumas that could have been avoided during the battle of New York if she had showed her true self instead of listening to Nick's orders, but they also died because she wasn't there to save them. But if she had stayed, Talos and the entire Skrulls civilization would have disappeared, she couldn't be on Earth and in space at the same time.

 

And what about the promise she had made to Natasha, she told her she would come back and they have a life together, as far away as possible from all the Avenging and the superheroes saving the day, did Natasha died thinking that Carol lied to her, did she still had hopes but was hurting too much to hold onto them? Could Carol even have a real normal life when she was needed in space, when some species wanted to be superior and threatened the safety of the rest of the universe? It wasn't fair, she could not let that happen, but at the same time she wondered why it had to be her job.

 


 

When she got out of her nightmare, Clint was by Carol's side, his arm around her waist to support her as they walked towards the quinjet. Her sight was still blurry and she stumbled a few times, Clint helping her back on feet every times.

 

"What happened?" she managed to mumble and the marksman stopped, "The witch played with your heads."

 

That explained the headache, Carol first thought before noticing the s at the end of head in Clint's sentence. Carol looked around and saw Thor a few steps behind them, he was conscious but very deep in his thoughts. Then, she turned her head to Clint, about to ask where was Natasha when she saw her on his other side.

 

"Natasha!" she gasped as she stood in front of her, the redhead not reacting to any of her words or touches.

 

"She took a really bad hit," Clint told her, a lot of concern in his face.

 

Carol's breathing sped up, she could see the distress in Natasha's eyes but the redhead could not see her, she was somewhere else, in her nightmare, in the Red Room was Carol's guess. Feeling the tears forming in her eyes, Carol stood on Natasha's other side and helped Clint bringing her back to the jet. Thor automatically following them when they walked again.

 

On the way, Carol noticed Tony's absence, "Is Tony okay?" she asked, even if she risked to be mocked for caring.

 

"Kinda occupied there, Cap!" the Iron Man grunted in her comms, "welcome back by the way."

 

At the ending of his phrase, she heard a roar that resonated to the beach, it was the Hulk, she was sure of it, "What happened? Clint?"

 

The archer adjusted his position before answering, "They got to him too, he is in the city, Tony is trying to stop him."

 

This was the exact reason why Carol said they should be careful, the city close to the salvage yard was big, the majority of the people of Somalia where living there and now, there was a Hulk on the loose, damaging the streets and killing people. Carol wanted to go stop him but Natasha needed her help too and Tony was doing his best to stop him.

 

Reaching the jet, Carol led Natasha to their usual seats, the redhead still deep in her nightmare. She had to do something, to get her out of it but it seemed impossible, everything she said or did didn't work.

 

After a few minutes of unsuccessful attempts, Clint joined them and bent down beside his best friend, "Did you tell her you love her?" he asked.

 

Carol sighed, "Of course I did, I begged her to come back to me, said I couldn't live without her but she is just… not there to hear it… I feel so useless."

 

"If anyone can bring her back it's you. She loves you so much, you know, she needs to feel that you are with her and that you will never leave her."

 

Carol swallowed, she didn't know if that was something she could do anymore but at the moment she didn't care, she had to drag Natasha out of her nightmare by any means necessary.

 

The blonde sat beside her girlfriend before pulling her on her lap, Natasha's limbs all flabby as if she had no bones. She wrapped her arm around Natasha's waist while her free hand rested on her chest, hoping its warmth would help. Pressing their foreheads together, Carol stared at Natasha's empty of life but full of fears eyes and took a deep breath, "Hey baby, it's me, it's Carol. I know what you are seeing is hard, I know it terrifies you but I promise you will never be at their mercy again, I will do everything I can to stop them. You are so strong, Natasha, you are better than them, you can beat them on your own, you don't need me, but I'll still always be with you. I'm with you, whatever happens I will be with you. I love you Natasha, I can't leave you, please come back to me, I need you, so much, I love you, Я тебя люблю."

 


 

"The ceremony is necessary, for you to take your place in the world."

 

"I have not place in the world," mechanically replied Natasha.

 

"Exactly," praised Madam B, "now go back to your room, tomorrow is the big day."

 

The big day was Natasha fighting the last girl of her year to be the one Black Widow, the reason why she fought so hard for all those years.

 

Hey baby, it's me, it's Carol.

 

It echoed in her ears as she was getting ready for the fight, strapping her hands so her knuckles would not bleed.

 

You are so strong, Natasha.

 

Natasha leaned forward as she pressed her palms on her ears, trying to stop this voice but it was like it came from inside her head. There was a warm feeling on her chest, yet it was cold in the room, she was shivering but there was this hot patch of skin, just between her collarbones, that made her feel slightly better despite the screams of this voice.

 

You can beat them on your own, you don't need me, but I'll still always be with you.

 

It was so loud, like someone was drilling right in her skull to get in.

 

Please come back to me, I need you, so much.

 

She wondered what Madam B created to torture her more, it was impossible that someone cared about her enough to need her.

 

I love you.

 

She cried, knowing that it was not possible. But what if it was, what if someone out there, in the real world, was waiting for her. What if there was hope for Natasha to have a life away from them?

 

Я тебя люблю.

 


 

Natasha gasped and gripped the first thing that she felt, a wrist, and suddenly the warm on her chest left to find its way to her cheek.

 

"Natasha?" asked a careful voice, "baby, I'm here, it's okay."

 

The redhead recognised this voice, this baby, she would forever know it, "Carol?" she panted and suddenly lips were on hers.

 

"Fuck, Natasha, there you are," Carol let out, relief and happiness in her tone.

 

Natasha allowed herself to relax as Carol pulled her into a tight embrace, her head in the crook of Natasha's neck, "Are you okay?" the blonde asked as she pulled out, Natasha finally seeing the face of the woman she loved.

 

"I'm scared, Carol…" Natasha whispered, her motions still sloppy as she tried to reach Carol's cheek and almost slapped her.

 

"I know baby… but you are so strong, you will beat them."

 

A tear rolled down Natasha's cheek, "I don't think I can."

 

"You will," Carol stated, wiping the tear away, "You are the strongest person I know, I'm so proud of you."

 

"I'm tired Carol," she cried as she pressed her forehead on Carol's shoulder, "I know you are, it's okay. You can rest now, I'm with you, always, take as much time as you need."

 

Gently, Carol lifted Natasha and brought her to the stretcher that they only used on their last mission for Clint. The blonde settled her down on it before lying down behind her, her arms strongly holding her waist. Natasha turned to face her girlfriend, who leaned on her elbow and stared at her while Natasha slowly drifted into sleepiness, Carol's fingers stroking her hair as the best lullaby ever.

 


 

It took Tony thirty minutes to get Bruce to come back to his senses and the double amount of time to get them both out of the local police's hands with a call to Stark Industries' lawyers. As anticipated by Carol, he destroyed a dozen of buildings and killed and hurt innocent people. Tony tried his best with Veronica, the Hulk version of the Iron Man suit that was supposed to hold him back but it didn't prevent damages.

 

Clint took the pilot seat when they came back to the jet, Bruce in a shape as bad as Carol's or Thor's. They were all thinking about what they saw because of Wanda Maximoff, Carol could tell, she did it too. She couldn't stop herself, she felt so guilty about New York, the reason why Tony made Ultron. She should have handled the situation like she did on every planet she saved, that way Tony wouldn't be so traumatised that he created a murder bot and Natasha would have one thing less on her list of fears.

 

She also thought about Talos, was he safe? Was what she saw purely fiction or did it actually happen? She didn't know but she needed to, she had to contact him to know if he was fine, if the universe was fine. It would take away some of her guilt to know that she wasn't needed, it would also give her an excuse to stay on Earth to keep her promise, to always be by Natasha's side. It was what she wanted the most but she felt like she had to help out, since she had the capacities to, not using her powers for good would be selfish.

 

Maria called them after a few minutes of flight, Carol heard a part of what she said while staring at Natasha, who was asleep and seemed peaceful somehow. The brunette said that they must hide for a while, the public was not thrilled about what happened in Africa and coming back to New York was not a good idea at the moment. Carol was fine with that, she definitely needed a little break and she knew the whole team did too, even if they still had to find Ultron.

 

Carol tried to sleep but there was too many things going on in her brain, she couldn't stop thinking and wondered how Natasha could be asleep. She assumed it was the exhaustion, Carol was very tired herself, the nightmare drained all her energy. So instead of sleeping, she watch her girlfriend do it, her nose scrunch confirming that not nightmare was going on in Natasha's unconsciousness.

 

After about an hour of flight, Clint came to them, Carol sitting up to chat with him, "Where are you taking us?" she asked, knowing that they were not heading to the tower, "My house."

 

It surprised Carol to hear that, she knew Clint wanted his family to remain a secret, "You sure you want that?"

 

"Yeah, it's the best thing to do. It'll get y'all's minds out of what you saw, and Laura will be happy to see the two of you."

 

"It will definitely help Natasha feeling better to be with her and the kids."

 

Clint patted Carol's shoulder, "Get some rest Cap."

 

She would love to, but she couldn't disconnect her brain, as hard as she tried. For the entirety of the trip, Carol stroked her fingers in Natasha's hair and watch her sleep, it was relaxing enough to see Natasha in a calm state for her to still rest a little.

Chapter 35: Safe house

Chapter Text

Carol woke up with a start when the quinjet landed, she did manage to fall asleep in the end, but not enough for her to be fully rested. Natasha woke up at the same time as her, panic in her eyes when she opened them, maybe her sleep had not been so peaceful.

 

"Baby, you're safe, we're at Clint's."

 

It was like Natasha didn't hear her, like she was back to the state she was when Carol got out of her nightmare, eyes opened but she was not really there, she was with them, fighting.

 

But, this time, when Carol kissed Natasha's temple, the redhead reacted, the emptiness of her emerald eyes faded away and she was there with her girlfriend, "Carol," she gasped before burying her face in the blonde's neck. Carol pulled her as close as possible and stroked her back to show her that she was there and she was not going anywhere.

 

Carol felt how relieved Natasha was as the tension in her muscles slowly went away, but in her eyes was still fear and worry, and that Carol didn't know how she could make that go away. She gently caressed her cheek, looked into her eyes and kept her close but the redhead was still shaking, as if the reality of what her past had been came all at once to strike her down.

 

Seeing that the guys where going out of the quinjet, Carol got on her feet, her hands still on Natasha's, and guided her to the outside where they were waiting for them. Carol saw that both Clint and Tony were concerned about Natasha's state, Bruce and Thor were still too much affected by their visions to be able to care.

 

They slowly walked to the house, Clint leading the way and Carol and Natasha at the end of the group. The spy was glued to Carol's side, her hands gripped at her suit as the blonde pushed her in the right direction. Carol hoped that seeing the house, its porch and front door would help Natasha feeling better but she couldn't get her eyes off of her, Carol was Natasha's safe place and she was so scared at the moment that only she mattered.

 

As they stepped in, Carol heard Tony and Thor talking about what was this place and it made her laugh that they didn't figure out that Clint had a family, after all his excuses for not being at the tower all the time were all scatterbrained. The archer called for his wife who instantly got out of the living room and greeted him with a kiss. Carol's gaze quickly found Laura's who became worried when she saw Natasha still trembling on Carol's side.

 

Before the blonde could go and talk to her, Clint's kids arrived and hugged their father lovingly.

 

"Did you bring Auntie Nat and Auntie Carol?" Lila asked her dad and her soft innocent voice made Natasha react.

 

When she saw the young girl, a smile appeared on her lips and she extended her arms to lift Lila and hugged her. Still beside her girlfriend, Carol grinned at the beauty of the scene but she quickly got stopped by Lila asking to go in her arms.

 

After a hug, Carol put her down and the couple went to Laura, "That's a belly bigger than the last time we saw you," she said.

 

"How's little Natasha?" the redhead wondered how her godchild had grown.

 

"She is… Nathaniel," Laura pouted, obviously sorry to disappoint Natasha, her godchild would not have her name.

 

Natasha frowned as she bent down and talked to Laura's belly, "Traitor."

 

The couple continued to chat with Clint and Laura when Thor suddenly left the house. After sharing a confused gaze with Natasha, Carol decided to go after him.

 

"Thor!"

 

"I saw something in that dream," he told her, "I need answers, I won't find them here."

 

Carol didn't protest and just let him go, she had no reason to stop him, he would surely feel better after his quest for answers than if he stayed here with his thoughts.

 

She went back inside and saw Natasha, sitting on the floor with Lila and Cooper, the fears that haunted her when she woke up long forgotten. Carol wanted to go and play with them, but first she needed to get out of her suit and wash her body of all the thoughts she had. She knew there were still some of hers and Natasha's clothes in the house, they had left at least one outfit there the last time they visited. Carol asked Laura where they were and she led her to the room she and Natasha slept in when they were there.

 

"Is Natasha okay?" Laura asked as she handed Carol a t-shirt – that was for sure Natasha's – a tank top, and two pairs of yoga pants.

 

The blonde didn't know what to tell her, Natasha was definitely not okay, she was in a very dark place, but she didn't want to say it like that, "She took a bad hit," she eventually replied, "she is not good. She might seem like it right now but she is not."

 

In the end, her will to not worry Laura too much was a huge failure, "Can I do anything?"

 

Carol shook her head, "When she will need something, she will come to us. For now, we should just let her be."

 

"What about you?" Laura asked as they stepped out of the room.

 

The Captain stopped at the door of the bathroom, "I'm managing. You don't have to worry about me."

 

Laura nodded but Carol could tell that her words didn't convince her, they didn't convince her herself. Clint's wife left and the blonde went straight to the shower, taking off her suit and the clothes she was wearing underneath it at once.

 

After her shower, Carol needed air and went outside. On the way, she saw that Natasha was still playing with the kids, she was so focused in their Uno game that she didn't see the blonde passing by. Outside was Tony, cutting in halves logs of wood.

 

They had not exchanged any non work-related words since the fight with Ultron at the tower and Carol wanted to keep it that way, she really didn't want to talk to anybody but it seemed it was not Tony's intentions.

 

"How you doin, Cap? Not too frightened by what the witch showed you it seems."

 

Clenching her jaw, Carol took a log and blasted it, "I can't be frightened right now, Natasha needs me."

 

She saw him smirking in the corner of her eye, which annoyed her even more, but she had to keep her cool.

 

"She seemed okay too when I left, playin' with the kids. How come we didn't know ab-"

 

"She is not okay!" Carol shouted, "and if you think she is you are a really bad friend."

 

Tony frowned, "Wow, okay. I think it's not just about Natasha anymore."

 

Carol scoffed before blasting another log – that she cut perfectly in half, "Of course it's about you, Tony, it always is. It's about you selling missiles to bad people which orphaned the Maximoffs and you creating a robot that wants to kill us."

 

Tony was in shock, he surely didn't sell the weapon selling argument coming, and if she was being honest neither did Carol, it just flowed out of her mouth.

 

"Alright! I get why you are mad, okay. And, by the way, I didn't sell anything to terrorists, it was this asshole Stane. Yes, I should have told you all about this AI idea but I didn't have a lot of time with the Sceptre and I didn't want to waste it by convincing you it was a good idea."

 

"The fact that you had to convince us is the reason why it's a bad idea, Tony," Carol pointed out, "If it was what Earth needed, we would all agree on it, but obviously we don't," she finished her sentence photon blasting another log.

 

"I don't understand why you are against it. You've been fighting your whole life, saving people, aren't you tired? Don't you wish there was a way of protecting planets from others malicious intentions?"

 

Without knowing it, Tony found one of the things Carol had on her mind since Wanda Maximoff happened and she really didn't needed to be reminded of it, "Could you just shut up!" she yelled as she took a step forward, her breathing fast and eyes narrowed. She wanted to jump him, to make him shut his goddamn loud mouth, but before she could she felt a gentle hand taking hers.

 

Carol looked down and saw that her hands were clenched and glowing, her anger got the best of her and she was really close to blast Tony if it was not for that soft touch on her skin. She turned around and saw Natasha's eyes full of distress. Wordlessly, they left and walked inside the house, Natasha leading Carol upstairs and stopped in the middle of the corridor, letting go of Carol's hand.

 

The redhead stood there, her back facing Carol, and felt her breathing speeding up. In front of her was the dark corridor that led to the dormitory she spent so many nights in, chained at her bed, in such discomfort that she couldn't fall asleep. They were everywhere all the time, nothing in Natasha's life didn't remind her of them, they owned her.

 

"Natasha?" she heard from behind her, a voice that seemed so far yet so easy to reach, "Baby, talk to me," the voice said, it was appealing, the only thing Natasha wanted was to see who it was, but she knew it, it was the reason she was still alive.

 

"Carol," she breathed and turned to her, the dark corridor suddenly lighting up as Natasha's eyes met Carol's hazelnut ones.

 

In a comfortable silence, Carol took Natasha's hand and gently pulled her in the bathroom, locking the door behind them, "Natasha, please talk to me."

 

The spy looked down at her feet, slowly drifting away as she thought about them again, but the careful hands of Carol brought her back to the real world, "Stay with me. I'm here, you are not alone," she said, her voice slightly louder than a whisper, filled with worry, love and anxiousness.

 

"They are everywhere, Carol," Natasha muttered, her eyes unfocused and bottom lip trembling, "everywhere I go they are there. It's like I'm running away from my shadow, I want to escape but I can't."

 

In all the time they spent together, Carol had never seen her girlfriend like that, terrified to that point. She must do something but what? There was no way to help her, she couldn't find them now when Ultron was on the loose and working on a devilish plan, and comforting her wouldn't work, she was too deep in this dark place, she was stuck.

 

But she was not alone, and that Carol would always remind her, she was not alone anymore to fight them, "We will escape, okay? One day we will, but for now we have to be together and be strong. It's the only way we can get out of this."

 

Natasha wanted to be strong, but how could she? They did everything in their power to make her believe she was weak and useless and a monster, how was she supposed to not be what they made her?

 

Carol could tell all lot was going on in her girlfriend's brain, it was the same for her but she was better at fighting it. Natasha needed help, she needed to get out of this gloomy atmosphere and the first step was to get her out of her clothes.

 

When Carol took her suit off earlier, it was like one of the weight she was carrying disappeared, like what she was wearing when Maximoff cast her spell on her was her prison and taking them off freed her. Keeping a hand on Natasha's cheek, she used her other one to unzip her suit and unbuckle her belt. The redhead didn't move, she just stared into space, her features slowly becoming blank of any feelings but in her eyes were still pain and fear.

 

Her shaking didn't increase or decrease when she was out of her suit but now she seemed to be cold, she had goosebumps all over her arms and her teeth chattered. Quickly, Carol took her own clothes off and led Natasha into the shower before turning on the water at the hottest temperature possible. Natasha looked up when the water hit her back and this time she was there, Carol could see gratefulness behind the other feelings that were channelled in her green eyes.

 

It was something she never had back then, hot water, and feeling it now, the liquid almost burning her skin, brought her back to where she really was, at Clint's, with Carol and the whole team downstairs, fighting against Ultron. This reality was not the best but it was still better than her past, and knowing that she was out of it suddenly relieved Natasha.

 

She had been in a nightmare for almost twenty four hours and needed to let go. After a soft caress on Carol's cheeks, she wrapped her arms around her neck and allowed herself to cry as loud as she needed to, the running water muffling the sounds of her sobs. It was why Carol took her there in the first place, she knew Natasha would never cry if she could be heard and the shower was the best hiding spot.

 

Carol held her as tight as she could, crying a few tears of her own as the sound of her girlfriend in so much pain felt like a stab in the heart but she remained strong and unfazed, she could not let her own emotions and problems get the best of her right now, Natasha needed her.

 

They didn't know how long they stayed in the shower but they only got out when they ran out of hot water. Carol looked for a towel for Natasha in the cupboard under the sink and found better than that, a bathrobe. She helped Natasha putting it on before wrapping herself in the towel she used earlier and pulled Natasha into her arms again. Running her fingers into Natasha's still wet hair, Carol kissed her temple before whispering a soft I love you that Natasha really needed to hear.

 

After drying themselves, Carol put back on the clothes she had earlier and gave Natasha those she got from Laura. They went back to the living room to see that everybody was outside but Clint.

 

"Guess who came back from the dead?" he said as he pointed at the opened window.

 

The couple went outside to see Nick discussing with Bruce and Tony. It should not be that much of a surprise for them, it was logical that he would keep his eye on them and eventually show up if needed but it was still very pleasing to see him in real life. However, they did not go see him, they stayed under the porch and watched the three of them talking, Carol holding Natasha from behind. He eventually saw them and waved at them, a discreet smile in the corner of his lips, before getting back to his conversation.

 

It felt so refreshing to be out there, a light wind blowing in their hair, rays of sun on their bare arms but their eyes were protected by the porch. Watching the kids play while the adults had a serious conversation reminded Carol that there were many innocent kids like them in space that could one day need her help, and there she was back into thinking about her future.

 

She was in a vicious circle of thoughts and she could not get out of it. There was no good choice, her staying with Natasha could cost lives on many other planets but abandoning Natasha could kill her and Carol would never forgive herself if it happened.

 

Hopefully, the guys passing by pulled Carol out of her thoughts, Nick stopped and greeted them with hugs before going back inside. When she thought they were alone, Carol felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped with surprise.

 

"It's okay, it's just me," politely said Laura as she handed her hoodies, "it's getting cold out there, you wouldn't want to get sick."

 

Carol, still not recovered from her scare, didn't move and so Natasha took them and thanked her best friend's wife. She took the black hoodie for herself and gave Carol the dark blue one, the blonde staring at it for a few seconds before finally grasping it.

 

"Carol, you are thinking so loud I can almost hear you," Natasha told her as she zipped up her hoodie.

 

The blonde looked down at her girlfriend's hands making their way up to her chest and closed her eyes when she cupped her cheeks, "Don't close yourself, please. I know a lot is going on in this little head of yours," Natasha smirked as she gently tapped Carol's temple with her pointing finger.

 

Carol wanted to tell her but she just didn't know how to. Saying that if she wasn't in space people could die because she could not save them was like blaming Natasha, she was the reason why Carol was staying and it wasn't fair to put that on her. But the opposite scenario was as awful, nothing she could say wouldn't hurt Natasha, even if it was just a little.

 

After a long minute of silence, Natasha pressed her forehead against Carol's, still stroking her thumbs on her cheeks, "Listen, what's happened happened, we can't change that, but we can change what will come by being honest with each other and dealing with it as a team. We both know that you and I work better when we communicate, so tell me I'm wrong, tell me you are not trying to handle everything by yourself, losing yourself in the process."

 

Natasha had guessed one of the things, Carol felt guilty about New York, but there was more. She was right though, they were an incredible team when they communicated, keeping everything for herself was just eating her from the inside.

 

"It's not just New York…" she began and closed her eyes, seeing the image of Soren when she landed on Skrullos and found out Talos was dead, "I saw like an alternate version of my life I guess, where the Kree found the planet the Skrulls settled on and killed most of them. I'm not even sure it's not real, I haven't talked to them since I arrived here."

 

"If anyone needed you they would have contacted you, Carol. Maybe the universe is just at peace."

 

"But what if it's not!" Carol exclaimed, "what if it's not and I'm missing it. I could help a lot of people but if I leave who will be there for you?"

 

"I can handle my own for a few weeks," Natasha assured her, "If you really are needed you can go."

 

"I don't wanna go," Carol cried as she escaped her girlfriend's arms and walked a few paces, "I love you, I want to be with you, but I feel like it would be so fucking selfish to have a normal and peaceful life when I have all this power within me, when I can help and save people, it's not fair!"

 

Natasha had never realised Carol had so much feelings in her, she didn't think she meant so much to her that she would want to stop what she had been doing for so many years now to be a normal person but it made sense, she was tired.

 

Tears were uncontrollably running down Carol's cheeks, she was so sad about her life and so ashamed of what she truly wanted that she couldn't look at Natasha, but the smaller woman's eyes never left her, she felt them on her, she could tell they were full of worry.

 

"Hey," Natasha eventually said as she carefully approached Carol, her hands reaching her cheeks to wipe away the tears, "I understand and you have all the rights to want that. You are a person before being a hero, Carol, don't ever forget that. You are the person I fell in love with, not Captain Marvel, you are the person that helped me, saved me, not Captain Marvel. If you want to be that person, my person, you are allowed to, you are allowed to want things, you are allowed to not want to fight, no one can blame you for that."

 

Carol slowly nodded, "But I have these powers, I must use them."

 

"You don't have to be at the universe's service, the powers you got don't define you, you choose who you are, like you told me. I chose to be your girlfriend, you let me choose when we would stop all this and I know one day I will want to, because even if I don't wipe out all the red in my ledger I will be too tired to and I'll give up, and you can give up too. It doesn't matter what people might say, if you want to retire, just say it, we'll go somewhere peaceful and have this life we want. You know what, I'm giving it to you, the decision to stop or not. As long as you want to continue, we continue, I'll be with you anyway and I'll be proud of you. I am proud of you Carol, you've done so much for so many people and you keep doing it when you didn't ask for it, you're just so brave, I don't think I could."

 

After another little nod, Carol sniffled, "What about Talos? I need to check on him."

 

"I know, I'm gonna tell Maria to send a message via your old suit, okay? We can go upstairs and do that together."

 

"Okay."

 

"Good," Natasha whispered before pulling Carol into her arms, the blonde instantly tucking her face in Natasha's neck.

 

They quickly pulled out of the hug and went back inside, all pairs of eyes on them as they went through the living room to the staircase. Carol was so embarrassed, she didn't want her team mates to think she was not a hundred percent in the game, that she wanted to get out and retire. She just had a breakdown after everything that happened in the last few years, that she kept buried inside until it had to get out. She was ready to confront Ultron, to be the leader she was supposed to be, and would have to prove it soon, but now she needed to be reassured.

 

In the bedroom, Natasha lied down onto the bed and extended her hand. Carol smiled and took it, letting the redhead guiding her to her side. She rested her head on her girlfriend's chest, Carol's heartbeat synchronising with Natasha's regular and slow one. It relaxed her so much to be there with Natasha that she barely noticed that she had taken her phone and was already in a call with Maria.

 

"Baby, how does your suit work?" Natasha asked as she ran her fingers through Carol's hair.

 

The blonde lightly sighed, "Maria, put me on speaker phone, close to the screen on the left forearm and I'll give you the access."

 

"Done."

 

"I'm gonna say your name and you'll have to repeat it, it's for vocal recognition."

 

"Ready when you are."

 

"Carol Danvers giving access to Maria Hill," she said and Maria repeated her own name, "Allowing access to communication system and incoming messages. Over."

 

"I'm sending a message now, I'll call you back the moment I have an answer."

 

"Thank you Maria," Natasha told her and hung up the call, "Wanna stay there a little bit or join the team?"

 

Carol looked up at Natasha and smiled, "Cuddles!" she exclaimed with a baby voice and laid on top of Natasha. The redhead giggled as she held her tight and softly kissed her temple, Carol's happy laughters making her grin grow to its biggest possible.

 

Natasha enjoyed every second of this long cuddling session, she really needed it after the difficult day she had and Carol's moment. She didn't think she would ever see her girlfriend so vulnerable than she was back under the porch and she hoped it would never happen again because it made her heart ache to see her in so much pain. She knew Carol loved her, she was showing it every day and saying it very often but it never occurred to her that she could want to stop what had been her life for twenty years now just for her.

 

It put some kind of pressure on Natasha, to be someone's reason to give up everything to have a normal life, but it was also want she wanted and in a way she was glad Carol felt like that. They both wanted to be normal people, to have a normal relationship and do normal stuff, something they barely tasted as of yet. They did live together, sort of, but they were still in the Avengers tower, surrounded by people working for the Avengers and working most of the time, nothing about it was normal but their nights together.

 

Laura eventually called the couple, asking them to come downstairs. Carol tightened her hold around Natasha's waist as she whined, she didn't want to stop cuddling her girlfriend or to face her team and discover how much of her conversation under the porch with Natasha they heard. She also wanted to know if Talos and the Skrulls were okay, and if the news was bad, she'd rather get it in the privacy of her room with Natasha.

 

Natasha didn't force her to move, she was having a good time with Carol acting like a baby in her arms, but she knew it was more than dinner that was happening downstairs. Nick must be there with things interesting for them to beat Ultron, he didn't show up because he missed them, maybe he did, but never in a million years he would admit it.

 

She did eventually sat up, Carol changing her position to straddle her lap, "We should go, C-"

 

Natasha's phone ringing cut her off and the blonde instantly picked it up, "Maria, tell me."

 

Mindlessly, she put the speaker phone so Natasha could hear it too, "I've got a message from Soren, Talos is fine, taking a nap when she received mine."

 

"Oh, thank God!" Carol gasped, her features full of relief, "Did she say anything else?"

 

"Just that space has been quiet lately and that you should enjoy your time with the people you love."

 

Carol couldn't fight a grin when she looked at her girlfriend who had the same expression on her face, "I am. Thanks Maria."

 

"No problem, Captain!"

 

"See, the universe is fine," Natasha told Carol as she slipped a strand of hair behind her ear, "and even if it was not, you have the right to not go and save it."

 

"I know, baby," Carol whispered before kissing Natasha's lips, "now let's go."

 

The Avengers were in the kitchen and living room with Nick, Laura and the kids, chatting about various subjects, when Carol and Natasha arrived. A quick silence followed, but hopefully Nick had a lot to say and the mess came back as fast as it went.

 

Carol stood against a wall, facing the table of the dinning room where Natasha sat down. Tony, who was playing darts, tossed them away and joined Carol, "Hey Cap, you good?" he asked her and Carol had to laugh at him, "Since when do you care?" she said with an obvious ironic tone and Tony got the joke.

 

"Don't try humour to dodge this one, that's my thing."

 

Carol chuckled but it was to hide her discomfort, she didn't really know what to say, it depended a lot on what he heard, "How much did you eavesdrop?"

 

"I think we all heard you say it's not fair because you shouted it but I was close enough to hear what was before that too."

 

"So basically everything that you need to know to be worried," Carol noted.

 

"Listen Cap, I'm not going to judge you or anything, you know I want the same as you, to be able to stop the fight, but I just want to be sure you are up for this fight."

 

"I am," she assured, "I just… I needed to get it out, to tell Natasha that she is my priority."

 

"I'm sure she knew it, but at least you got it out of your chest and you are feeling better now, that's what matters."

 

Carol smiled, "I do. Thanks for checking up on me Tony."

 

"I'm there for you if you need, Carol, please remember that."

 

She simply gave him a nod, a bit touched that he used her first name for once, and mouthed a thank you before he went back to his game of darts.

 

"Ultron took you folks out of play to buy himself time," Nick began as Bruce walked in the kitchen and stood in a corner, "My contacts all say he's building something. The amount of vibranium he made off with, I don't think it's just one thing."

 

"Okay but did your contacts track him?" Carol asked her long time friend.

 

"Oh, he's easy to track, he's everywhere. The guy is multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit. "

 

"Right…" she sighed as she walked to the table and sat beside Natasha.

 

"It still doesn't help us get an angle on any of his plans, though," Nick pointed out.

 

"Is he still going after launch codes?" wondered Tony.

 

"Yes, he is. But he's not making any headway."

 

"I cracked the Pentagon's firewall in high school on a dare," the Iron Man bragged.

 

"Well, I contacted our friends at the Nexus about that."

 

"Slow down," Carol interrupted, "Nexus is?"

 

"It's the world Internet hub in Oslo," Bruce told her, "every byte of data flows through there. Fastest access on Earth."

 

"So, what did they say?" Clint asked.

 

"He's fixated on the missiles but the codes are constantly being changed."

 

"By whom?"

 

"Parties unknown."

 

"We have an ally?" Natasha asked.

 

"Ultron's got an enemy," Nick clarified, "That's not the same thing. Still, I'd pay folding money to know who it is."

 

"I might need to visit Oslo," Tony commented, "Find our unknown."

 

"Well, this is good times, boss, but I was kind of hoping when I saw you, you'd have more than that," Natasha told him and Carol totally shared her opinion.

 

"I do, I have you," Nick said, which sounded a lot like a testament of trust even though both Natasha and Carol knew that something he didn't do, "Back in the day, I had eyes everywhere, ears everywhere else… You kids had all the tech you could dream up. Here we all are, back on Earth," he glanced at Carol, "with nothing but our wit and our will to save the world. Ultron says the Avengers are the only thing between him and his mission. And whether or not he admits it, his mission is global destruction. All this, laid in a grave… So stand. Outwit the platinum bastard."

 

Carol looked at Natasha, determination in her eyes as well as worry, but it was the former that was a change from a few hours ago. The redhead was glad her girlfriend was back in fighting mod, they would all need her strength and power to beat Ultron.

 

"So, what does he want?" Nick asked.

 

"He wants to do better than us, to be better than us," Carol replied.

 

"Yet he keeps building person's body when the human form is inefficient. Biologically speaking, we're outmoded, as can prove Cap over there," Tony said as he pointed at her.

 

"When you two programmed him to protect the human race, you amazingly failed," Natasha commented, earning her a chuckle from Carol.

 

"They don't need to be protected," Bruce muttered as he analysed a drawing of a butterfly that Lila made for Natasha, "They need to evolve… Ultron's gonna evolve."

 

They all looked at him with questioning gazes, Nick being the one asking him what would be Ultron's way to do that, "How?"

 

"Has anyone been in contact with Helen Cho?"

 

Both Clint and Tony gasped, Carol quickly realising what it meant as well as she remembered what Natasha told her about how Dr. Cho healed the archer. She could create matter like human tissue, combined with the Vibranium if that was possible, she would make an almost indestructible body for Ultron.

 

"I'd love if someone could explain," Nick spoke, putting an end on the silence that followed Bruce sentence.

 

"She works on humans tissues and skin regeneration. Ultron has Loki's Sceptre, he could do to her what Loki did to Dr. Selvig and Clint to make her work for him and who knows what she could make with her science and the Vibranium," Bruce explained.

 

"We have to go," Carol said as she stood up, "We can't let Ultron reach his final form. We still don't know his plan but stopping him for that will hopefully slow him down."

 

"Cap's right," Tony spoke up but instantly stopped himself.

 

Natasha frowned, "God, I didn't think I'd see you agreeing with Carol in my life."

 

"Ha. Ha. Not the time, Romanoff. There's a bot on the loose."

 

"Your bot, Stark," Clint pointed out.

 

"Enough guys," Carol said with a not-too-strict tone but firmly enough to make them all look at her, "I'm going to Seoul with Natasha and Clint, Tony you go to the Nexus and find this ally."

 

"I'll join if I can."

 

"We should be fine," Carol told him.

 

"I'll drop Bruce at the tower," Nick said, "you kids go get ready."

 

Carol and Natasha didn't lose a minute and went upstairs in the spare room that is theirs when they stay here. The redhead got in her suit first and helped Carol putting on hers, still a bit concerned after what they said to each other a few hours earlier.

 

"How are you feeling?" she asked her girlfriend as she cupped her cheek.

 

Carol sighed, "I'm not sure but I'm up for this. I just needed to say some things to you and now you know so… that's good."

 

"It is," Natasha whispered as she stepped closer, wrapping her arms around Carol's neck, "and it really means a lot to me."

 

"I love you," Carol said before capturing Natasha's lips, "go to the jet, I just have to see something with Clint."

 

Natasha nodded and gave Carol one last kiss before heading to the Quinjet.

 

The truth was that Carol had nothing to see with Clint, she just wanted a moment to gather herself. This mission was not the most dangerous she had had, fighting the Kree army in the middle of a meteor storm was one, but going after Ultron should not be too hard. The problem was that Carol still had this feeling at the pit of her stomach that told her that something would go wrong, she could just not figure out what or when.

 

Looking at herself in the mirror, Carol took a deep inhalation that she held for as long as she could. As she released it, Carol closed her eyes and forced herself to focus, she was very important for the team and could not allow herself to be distracted when she was needed.

 

Finally ready, Carol made her way to the first floor and was about to leave the house when she heard Clint speaking with Laura. She didn't mean to eavesdrop but it was hard not too when Laura asked Clint to promise her he would come back from this last mission.

 

In some ways, Carol was glad that she was not the only one wanting to stop it all to go back to her lover but it also put more pressure on her, they could not fail. They had to all make it home, Tony to Pepper, Clint to Laura and his kids, Carol and Natasha to one another, Thor and Bruce to whoever mattered to them.

 

She walked out of the house at the same time as Clint, the marksman giving her a gentle tap on the shoulder as they walked to the Quinjet that was ready to take off for Seoul.

Chapter 36: Vision

Notes:

Hi guys!
I’m wondering if some of my readers is a fanartists. I plan to print this fic when it will be done and I’d like to have fanarts as the covers so if one of you is interested in drawing carolnat and scenes from the fic, you can DM me on twitter (@Amandjnx) or tell me in the comments and we’ll privately discuss further about it.

Chapter Text

Clint flew at the Quinjet's maximal speed to get them to the capital of South Korea. Meanwhile, in the back, Carol and Natasha were getting ready, the blonde helping her girlfriend warming up her muscles. For now, the plan was that Carol was going after Ultron alone, and if needed Clint and Natasha would join.

 

They expected the twins to be there, that was why Carol, despite all her strength, could be outnumbered. She could handle Ultron and prevent casualties on her own, that was not a problem, but if the Maximoffs, and especially Wanda, were there and fighting on his side, it would get harder for her to beat them.

 

Getting closer to the city, Carol opened the rear hatch and got ready to fly out of the jet, "Carol wait!" shouted Natasha from behind her. Carol looked back at Natasha, her helmet automatically retracting in her suit as she stepped forward, "be careful," Natasha said as she tiptoed and kissed Carol's lips.

 

"You too," Carol whispered before running out of the jet.

 

She free fell until she was under the clouds and had a visual of her target, Dr. Cho's lab. The AI in her suit – that Tony must have replaced without telling her after Jarvis had been shut down by Ultron – circled the building and Carol let the energy within her take control of her body, from the tips of her fingers and toes to her hair and when she felt it all over her, and flew in direction of the lab. As she got closer, the AI analysed the building and its inside, searching for heat signatures that would match Ultron. It didn't find the robot but did find Dr. Cho and indicated to Carol where she should enter.

 

Carol didn't even have to break the window, someone – or something – had already done it for her and she landed on a half destroyed floor, a few of Dr. Cho assistants laying dead on the ground. Looking around, Carol saw the scientist on the floor as well, but as she approached her, the AI said in her ear that she was still alive and breathing.

 

She ran to her side, grabbed the first cloth she found and put pressure on the large wound that covered half of Dr. Cho's chest.

 

"He is uploading himself into the body," she panted as Carol took care of her, "The real power is inside the Cradle. The gem, its power is uncontainable, you can't just blow it up. You have to get the Cradle to Stark."

 

Carol made sure she had slowed Dr. Cho's bleeding before leaving her. She got out of the lab and flew up to a high building to have a better view of the city, "Natasha, Clint, find me this Cradle."

 

"I got a private jet taking off across town, no manifest," Natasha told her, "that could be him."

 

"There! It's a truck from the lab. Right in front of you, Cap, on the loop by the bridge. It's them, you got three with the Cradle one in the cab."

 

"I'm on my way," Carol said as she took a few steps to gather speed and jumped off of the roof.

 

"I could take out the driver," Clint informed.

 

"Don't! We can't risk any lives there, which means no crash of the truck or Ultron shooting at people. We have to be super careful."

 

Natasha chuckled, "Good thing being careful is your thing," it was definitely sarcastic but for once, Carol would be. After New York and all the people that lost their lives for no reason, she wanted to make sure that everybody would be fine. She would fight the bot without her powers if it meant that no one would be harmed.

 

With that in mind, Carol flew faster and closed the gap between her and the truck. Landing on its roof, she made her way to the back and almost got shot by Ultron's laser, which also created a large hole in the roof. Carol jumped away, landed on a running car and went back to the truck just in time to face Ultron.

 

"You know what's in that cradle?" Ultron said before shooting a laser that she dodged by absorbing it with her forearm, "The power to make real change and that terrifies you."

 

"I can promise you I wish we could change to the point where no one needs protection," Carol grunted as she did everything she could to absorb all of Ultron's lasers so it didn't accidentally hurt anyone, "but I just know it's not realistic."

 

"You don't know a thing about what's realistic, Captain."

 

Carol chuckled, "Yet I've see more than anything you could ever imagine."

 

Carol joined him in the air and they started fighting, still following the truck that was going in direction of the airport. This new form was really strong, Carol was glad he did not get the time to reach his final one, it would definitely be one hard to take down. It might even be one of Carol's strongest enemies.

 

Now that Carol was distracting Ultron, Natasha and Clint had to find a way to get the cradle, which she didn't tell them but supposed they figured out on their own. It took some time but Carol eventually glimpsed Natasha arriving on her motorcycle, which was quite hot, the blonde noted.

 

Even though Natasha was there and close to the truck, she could not get in yet, there were still two of Ultron's bots inside, protecting the cradle and Natasha jumping in would be too dangerous. They did shoot at her, but Natasha was skilled and dodged everything before taking an alternate way, Carol not seeing her anymore.

 

"Clint, can you draw out the guards?" Natasha asked through her comms.

 

"Let's find out," Clint replied before using the cannon of the Quinjet to shoot Ultron, who didn't got any scratch from it. It did send the robots after the jet though, which gave Natasha the opportunity to get in when she'd have catch up with the truck.

 

Carol continued to fight Ultron, more aggressively this time, sending him flying in a wall and on the road since there was nobody around them. It didn't really appreciate to be thrown away like that and, after another strong punch that pushed it away, Ultron flew back towards Carol and caught her in its way before they both landed in a moving train.

 

The Captain instantly saw the civilians and the fear in their eyes when Ultron used its lasers again. She had to protect them, to prevent any casualties, no one could die on her watch. She ran back to fight hand to hand with Ultron, the close environment making it harder for both of them to fight but she was smaller than the robot, she could hit her punches more than it did.

 

Meanwhile, she heard that Natasha was in the truck, but the two guards where back after her. Carol had to trust her two team mates of the day, she had a lot to handle on her own and could not let herself be distracted by what was happening to them, even though one of them was her girlfriend.

 

Still exchanging punches with Ultron, Carol got surprised by a fast blue wave of energy passing by her before Ultron got thrown away. Suddenly appeared Pietro and then Wanda Maximoff, both of them fighting against Ultron, the young woman blocking him with metal barriers.

 

"Please, don't do this," Ultron said as it looked at her.

 

"What choice do we have?" she replied.

 

Before Carol could go back to fight him, Ultron fired his lasers in direction of Pietro and flew off the train. Carol informed Clint that she was not with Ultron anymore as she ran to go after it but she realised as she entered the control room and saw that Ultron shot the driver of the train.

 

"Shit," she swore as she realised she could not get out of the train because it was going to derail if she didn't intervene.

 

Looking back at the Maximoffs, she waved at them, the twins instantly joining her, "You, get the people out of the way and you," she stared at Wanda, "help me stopping this thing."

 

In the blink of an eye, Pietro was out of the train and Wanda's hands were sparkling with red beams. Carol didn't waste a second and flew out of the train before pushing it in the opposite direction of where it was going to slow it. She felt it immediately, when Wanda added her powers to Carol's, the train slowed faster and it became easier for Carol, she didn't have to put so much strength in her effort.

 

Wanda was powerful, there was no doubts, but Carol knew it was just the beginning and she could become better if she harnessed her powers. She had to recruit her, to recruit them both, even if they had been enemies. These two could be the future of the Avengers, an addition to the team that would always be useful.

 

Even if they were efficient, Carol and Wanda didn't stop they train before it went through a wall, Carol hopefully not hurt by it when her back hit it as she was in her binary form.

 

Still in her effort, Carol heard Clint yelling into her hear, "Cap, you see Nat?" he asked her.

 

"What?" she groaned as she did her best to stop the train as fast as possible.

 

"I've got the cradle but Ultron took Nat."

 

Hearing this gave Carol the strength she needed to completely stop the train, "Get the cradle to Tony, I'm going after them," she ordered before flying up to have a global vision of the city.

 

"Come on, where the fuck are you?" Carol asked as she spun in the air, trying to catch any sight of something flying away. Many informations were showed by the AI but it could not detect anything that would match Ultron's or Natasha's heat signature, "Damn it!" she screamed as she desperately flew around Seoul, but there was still no trace of them.

 

After ten minutes of research, Carol went back to where she left the twins, hoping they would still be there. It seemed that they were waiting for her when she landed and walked towards them.

 

"What happened? Did you get the Cradle?" Wanda asked.

 

"Clint is taking it to Tony, he-"

 

"No!" Wanda cut off, "You can't give it to him."

 

"Why?"

 

"He will do anything to make things right. Ultron can't tell the difference between saving the world and destroying it… Where do you think he gets that?"

 

Carol hated to admit it, but Wanda was right, Tony's idea when creating Ultron was to protect the planet and it was now planning on destroying it. Natasha had been right, they miserably failed.

 

Thinking about Natasha felt like a dagger in the heart, as her gut told her before this mission, something wrong would happen and Natasha was in Ultron's hands, and who knew for how long it would keep her alive.

 

Natasha was Carol's priority but she would have to wait, preventing Tony to create another murder bot was the most important thing at the moment, for Earth's sake.

 

"You are both coming with me," Carol said as she started to walk, where she didn't know, but she was looking for a map of the city.

 

"Where are we going?" asked Pietro as he caught up thanks to his powers.

 

"We are taking Ultron's flight," Carol replied as she found a map of the surrounding. After analysing it, she ripped it off the wall and handed it to Pietro, "Join me there," she told them as she pointed at the airport, "I'm getting the plane ready."

 

Before the Maximoffs could protest, Carol was in the air, flying straight to the airport. There, she found the private jet that was abandoned and made her way to the control tower to let them know that she would soon take off with it. Some argued, but when the chief arrived and saw the Avenger symbol on Carol's shoulder, he gave her the green light, stopping every other planes from landing or taking off so she could go whenever the Maximoffs would make it.

 

Back in the plane, Carol got it ready to leave, her instinct guiding her. She had not flown a plane in decades but, like riding a bike, she didn't forget how to do it. About seven minutes after she arrived at the airport, the Maximoffs stepped into the plane, Pietro completely exhausted.

 

"It was easier for you than us, we had to take a detour," Wanda told her as she joined her in the cockpit, "You know how to fly this?"

 

"I was in the air force, I could pilot a private plane in my sleep," she replied firmly, though she didn't mean to be rude but every second counted and she couldn't let anything distract her, "Please, take a sit and buckle up."

 

The twins did as they were asked and sat side by side, Pietro taking the hands of her nervous sister to comfort her. Carol, as a skilled pilot, took off without any problem and went to see them after she had contacted New York's airport to tell them that they were on their way and set the coordinates in the auto pilot.

 

"What did you see?" she asked Wanda as she bent down before her, "when you were in Tony's head, what did you see?"

 

"You were all dead," she said with a grave tone, "he was the last one standing. He caused your deaths and that's what he is the most scared of. If there is no one to protect Earth he thinks that it will be destroyed but he did it himself, he sells weapons that destroy cities."

 

"Sold," Carol corrected, "he doesn't do that anymore."

 

"It's still his weapons that killed our parents," Pietro pointed out.

 

Carol sighed, "I know, but Tony isn't all bad. He used to be an asshole who just wanted money but he changed, and he wants to do good now."

 

"Does he though?" Wanda asked rhetorically, "He was trying to do good when he created Ultron and Ultron wants to destroy the planet now."

 

"You are one to talk when you helped him," Carol chuckled dryly.

 

"We didn't know what was his plan," Pietro replied, "we thought he was just against you, not the entire planet."

 

"We know we made a mistake… why do you think we are there now."

 

It was a weird apology, Carol thought, but at least the twins were willing to do better and to help and that was all Carol needed, "Listen, I'm not here to scold you. Shit happens, we all make mistakes, sometimes it's not fixable. But today, we have a chance to fix it, first by stopping Tony, if you really think he will make a mistake by using the cradle, and then by fighting Ultron. I just need to know that you are in and that you will listen to what I say."

 

After sharing a glance, Pietro replied for the both of them, "We are ready, Captain."

 

"Perfect. It will be Carol, then," she told them as she stood up and patted their shoulders before going back to the pilot seat.

 

She checked the altitude, the course of the plan, everything was fine, they should make it as fast as this plane could go, around ten hours. These would be awfully long for Carol, she couldn't get Natasha out of her head, her girlfriend was somewhere with Ultron, she was his prisoner and Carol couldn't go find her.

 

With her suit and the communication system of the plane, Carol tried to contact the tower, Maria, even Nick, but nobody responded, she was on her own. Groaning, Carol took her head in her hands, clenching her fists in her hair and tried to relax, Natasha was a resourceful woman, she could survive Ultron and find a way to send a message to the Avengers. But were they even looking for her? That was what Carol was afraid of, that Tony was so focused on the cradle that he monopolised everybody to help him, forgetting that Natasha was in danger.

 

Looking at the clouds surrounding the plane, Carol didn't hear the footsteps of the twins coming to the cockpit. She was startled by the feeling of Wanda's hand on her shoulder, jerked herself up to look a bit more focused when really her mind was somewhere else.

 

"Are you okay?" Wanda asked, her hand finding Carol's back this time.

 

The blonde scoffed, "Can't you read my mind? I think you know that I'm not."

 

"Natasha, right? She is your girlfriend. Ultron took her."

 

"Basically, yes."

 

"You think he is going to kill her?" Pietro wondered.

 

"I hope he won't have the time to," Carol muttered, "I hope she can hold on until I find her."

 

Pietro took a step forward and leaned against the co-pilot seat, "She will be fine and you will find her."

 

Carol looked up at the twins and giggled, "I'm the one supposed to make the pep talks, not you kid."

 

"We all need a little pep talk sometimes."

 

"Right! Well, you both need to get your asses back to your seats while I focus on piloting this plane."

 

"You are on auto-pilot," Wanda pointed out.

 

"Shut up!" Carol replied, laughing.

 

The truth was that she just wanted to be alone with her thoughts for the rest of the flight, not that she didn't enjoy the twins' company, Carol just wanted, needed, to think about Natasha. Rolling up her sleeve, she saw the bracelet that she got for them both for Christmas. She was so used to have it that she barely noticed its presence on her wrist but now that she needed to think about a good memory with Natasha, she was glad to have it.

 

Last Christmas had been so great, they were alone in the tower, had had a nice dinner and an even better night, God, what a perfect night. Usually, sex between Carol and Natasha was slow, Carol liked it that way – she had never been a fan of rough sex – and Natasha needed it to be slow, so she didn't mind. But that night, Natasha showed Carol all her skill in the matter, how fast she could make her feel good and how much she could crave Carol's touch. They still didn't have sex much, which was totally fine, but Carol had in mind to ask Natasha when she changed her about about the sex, even though it was just a detail of their relationship.

 

Carol forced herself to stop thinking about sex as she remembered that one of the teenagers in the back of the plane could read what was happening in her head and she really didn't want her to see any of her memories of sex with Natasha, especially not the night of Christmas.

 

For the rest of the flight, Carol was alone in the cockpit, controlling every little details of this plane that was perfectly doing its job just to busy herself until it was the moment for her to take the commands back. She told the Maximoffs to buckle their belts before she was contacted by the control tower of New York's airport, informing her of where she would land.

 

The landing went as smoothly as the rest of the flight, her skills in flying air-planes were still intact. When they stepped on the tarmac, Carol looked in direction of the centre of New York, Manhattan, until she saw the Avengers tower and pointed at it, "I need you to get there, can you be quicker than earlier?" she asked Pietro with a teasing smirk.

 

"Let's see who gets to the front door first, Captain."

 

With a laughter, Carol accepted the challenge and began to run to her goal. She flew at low altitude to keep on eye on Pietro's and Wanda's progress but it was hard to catch sight of them, they were going very fast and so was she. In the end, she waited about twenty seconds in front of the tower until the siblings joined her, obvious disappointment on Pietro's face, "I'll beat you one day, Carol."

 

"I like your combativeness, Maximoff. Keep it up and you'll go far in life."

 

As they entered in the elevator, the atmosphere directly got more serious, they didn't know if Tony was already done with the Cradle or if he would be easy to convince – knowing Tony he would not – but anyway they had to be ready for anything. Carol thought about Natasha as the elevator went up, she tried to imagine what her girlfriend would tell her to motivate her, encourage her in doing the right thing.

 

Carol knew what was the right thing, it was the reasonable choice to not make another robot based on an Earth-protecting AI. She stood by her decision and, when she saw Tony and Bruce around the Cradle, both in deep reflection, she didn't hesitate to interrupt them, "Tony, stop!" she shouted, the Iron Man instantly looking back at her.

 

"What about no?"

 

"This thing could be as dangerous as Ultron. You don't know what you are doing Tony."

 

"And you do?" Bruce said as he stepped in and then nodded at Wanda, "She's not in your head?"

 

"I know you're angry," the teenager replied, another kind of apology for when she did to him in Africa, which led to the death of dozens of people.

 

"Oh, we're way past that. I could choke the life out of you and never change a shade," he told her with his jaw clenched, probably having flashes of what the Hulk did there.

 

"Guys, after what happened the last time, you can't seriously want to do the same mistake."

 

"This isn't the same, Captain."

 

Seeing that the conversation was going nowhere, Carol glanced at Pietro and nodded at the Cradle. The twin got the hint and ran around it at high speed, disconnecting everything that was connected to Tony's computers and power sources, "No, no. Go on. You were saying?"

 

Carol proudly grinned as she saw him standing there with a cable in his hand but he quickly disappeared as the glass he was standing on broken under his feet as a gunshot echoed in the room.

 

"Pietro!" shouted Wanda who wanted to go help her brother but she was stopped by Bruce, "Go ahead, piss me off," he warned, Carol had a hard time believing he could be so aggressive towards a teenager, even after what she did to them.

 

She was about to help her when she heard that Tony was going to reroute the upload into the cradle and she had to stop him. With her skilled aim, she tried to blast him but the Iron Man was vigilant and dodged it before using a blast of his own that didn't reach its target either.

 

As the back part of Tony's armours joined him, Carol rushed at his level to fight him in hand to hand combat, knowing she was better than him, but she was stopped before she could.

 

Thor walked in and jumped into the cradle, raised his hammer in the air to summon the thunder.

 

"Wait!" Bruce shouted while Carol was trying to get Mjolnir out of Thor's hands but he was gripped at it and the hammer didn't move the slightest.

 

The energy from the thunder overloaded the cradle which sped up the creation of what was inside. When Thor stopped, there was a second of silence before what he just created jumped out, throwing him away before standing up. It looked around at everybody staring at it and suddenly flew to Thor, this time it was the God of thunder who threw his opponent away.

 

Both Thor and Carol went after it, the blonde woman quietly gasping when she saw that it was flying, looking at the outside world. Raising his hand at Carol, Thor told her to stay where she was and put his hammer down on a table as his creation came back to them.

 

The rest of the Avengers arrived in the living area as it landed to hear its first words, "I am sorry. That was… odd," it said and turned to Thor, "Thank you."

 

"Okay now, why would you do that Thor?" Carol asked firmly.

 

"I've had a vision. A whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life, and at its centre is that."

 

"What? The gem?" Bruce wondered.

 

"It's the Mind Stone. It's one of the six Infinity Stones. The greatest power in the universe, unparalleled in its destructive capabilities. And there is more, the Tesseract also contains an Infinity stone."

 

"So my powers come from one too…" Carol realised, "But why create another Infinity Stone empowered person? Isn't that dangerous?"

 

"Because Stark is right."

 

"Oh, it's definitely the end times," Bruce commented.

 

"The Avengers cannot defeat Ultron."

 

"Not alone," Thor's Vision added.

 

"Is it just me or does it sound like Jarvis?"

 

"We reconfigured Jarvis's matrix to create something new," Tony explained as he approached it.

 

"You think I'm a child of Ultron."

 

Carol chuckled, "I don't know, what are you?"

 

"I'm not Ultron. I am not Jarvis. I am… I am."

 

Wanda took a step forward, "I looked in your head and saw annihilation."

 

"Look again."

 

Clint scoffed, "Her seal of approval means jack to me."

 

"Their powers, the horrors in our heads, Ultron himself, they all came from the Mind Stone," Thor explained, "And they're nothing compared to what it can unleash but with it on our side… "

 

"Are you though?" Carol asked the Vision.

 

"I don't think it's that simple."

 

"Well, it better get real simple real soon." Clint threatened.

 

"I am on the side of life. Ultron isn't. He will end it all."

 

"What's he waiting for?"

 

Vision turned its head to Tony, "You."

 

"Where?"

 

"Sokovia." Clint replied, "He has Natasha there too."

 

Hearing the name of her girlfriend, Carol completely forgot everything else that was happening and spoke up, "You found her?"

 

"Yes, she is in the castle we attacked the other day."

 

"We gotta go now."

 

"Captain, slow down, we need a plan," Tony said as he caught Carol's wrist but she pulled it out of his grip before pushing him away, "There is no time to waste, she is in grave danger."

 

"She'll be fine Cap. It's Natasha."

 

"No she won't! She's been through so much she doesn't need to add kidnapped by a killing bot on her list, sorry, your killing bot," Carol shouted.

 

Bruce stepped in, "I think we should all calm down," Carol glanced at him and frowned, causing the scientist to quickly back away.

 

"None of you understand a single thing about her. I do. I've been learning everyday how it works in her brain and I don't wanna go back to square one after all the efforts we made, so we better get out of there fast or I will go on my own and let you deal with your shit."

 

"I agree with Cap, we have to go, but we have to make sure this thing is with us," Clint said and looked back at the Vision, "What do you wanna do?"

 

"I don't want to kill Ultron. He's unique and he's in pain, but that pain will roll over the Earth. So, he must be destroyed. Every form he's built, every trace of his presence on the net. We have to act now and not one of us can do it without the others… Maybe I am a monster. I don't think I'd know if I were one. I'm not what you are, and not what you intended. So, there may be no way to make you trust me. But we need to go."

 

As it finished its sentence, the Vision handed Thor his hammer. They all looked at it, in chock, and Thor seized it before following his creation, "Right, well done," he said as he passed by Tony and tapped his shoulder.

 

"Get your asses in the jet as soon as you are ready," Carol told the rest of the team before leaving for the Quinjet.

 

Carol wished Maria was there when she stepped inside and waited, she could really use someone to tell her that Natasha was too stubborn to die. She sat on her usual seat, staring at the one that was Natasha's before reaching her bracelet in her sleeve, "I'm coming for you baby," she muttered to herself.

 

A couple of minutes later, Pietro and Wanda found their way to the jet, followed by Thor and Vision and then the last three missing members. Tony went to the pilot seat and took off, the entire plane in a heavy silence, only the sounds of the motors filled the air.

 

But suddenly, Carol got up and stood proud and strong in front of all her team mates, "We still don't know what Ultron's plan is but we gotta find it fast. I will go to the castle to get Natasha while you all go in the city and evacuate everybody. Tony, you explain to Thor where was the secret door you talked about so he can see if anything Ultron built matches his vision," Carol glanced at the Vision and she got an agreeing nod, "You get him off the internet and then we'll have to kill all his bots, 'cause we can be sure he made plenty of them just for us. This is the last time for you to get away," she looked at the twins, Tony, Clint, and then wondered if she, herself, wanted to fight this time, "if you want out, it will be after they are all dead and Earth is at peace, understood?"

 

They gave her nods, Clint and his S.H.I.E.L.D agent manners said a loud yes, Captain and they were all set. Natasha was waiting for Carol. Sokovia was waiting for them, and so was Ultron.

Chapter 37: Ultron

Chapter Text

As the quinjet passed over the castle, Carol and Thor flew out of it and landed where Tony indicated. They shared an encouraging gaze before going separate ways, Carol looking for Natasha and Thor for anything that could help them beating Ultron.

 

Carol ran through the corridors and staircases, screaming Natasha's name, hoping she would hear her and shout back. The blonde felt like she had been through the entire castle when she found a door she knew she had not passed before. Again, she called for Natasha and, after a couple of seconds, her name echoed back to her.

 

"Carol! I'm there!" the redhead shouted, the sound of her voice getting closer and closer until Carol reached a cul-de-sac. Carol could still hear her, she wasn't far, but there was no access. Out of frustration, Carol punched the wall in front of her with both her glowing fist and, after it collapsed and the dust faded, she saw Natasha in a cell a few metres away.

 

"Oh! Thank God," Carol sighed as she joined Natasha at the bars of her cell and, as soon as she could, cupped her cheeks, "Are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine, Carol. I promise," Natasha replied as she leaned into the touch and closed her eyes for a few seconds, "could you open this thing?"

 

With a smirk, Carol took a step back and casually blasted the lock of the door before pushing it away. The moment Natasha could get out, she threw herself into Carol's arms and hugged her so tight the blonde had a bit of a trouble breathing. But Carol didn't care, the only thing she wanted was to have Natasha close to her, lacking a bit of oxygen was a fair price to pay.

 

"I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner," Carol apologised as she buried her face in Natasha's hair, "A lot happened while you were there."

 

"You'll tell me later," Natasha whispered as she stepped out of the hug just to pulled Carol back into a passionate kiss.

 

Carol smiled into the kiss as Natasha pushed her against the nearest wall, she was getting all the kisses she missed in the day prior, not caring about what was happening outside. Feeling her tongue brushing her bottom lip, Carol opened her mouth to give Natasha the access. A hand on her chest, the other in the back of her neck, Natasha kept adjusting the angle of Carol's head who teased her by pulling away. She eventually grasped her hair, not too violently, to force her to stop, which cause the blonde to chuckled as she kissed back eagerly.

 

If it wasn't for the ground shaking, they would have continued their making out session, letting the rest of the team handling Ultron.

 

"We should go," Natasha said, not much of enthusiasm in her voice.

 

Carol nodded to agree as she slipped her hand in her pocket and gave Natasha an earpiece, "You might need that," she told her and kissed her lips before taking her hand, "follow me."

 

On the way out of the castle, Carol explain to her girlfriend what they knew, Ultron had an army of robots, he must be disconnected from the internet, Thor and Tony gave a body to Jarvis. The redhead got confused at that last part but Carol told her it was not important, the only thing that mattered was that they had to destroy every single one of Ultron's robots and they weren't alone for this task.

 

When they were outside, they both gasped as they saw half of the city flying. As always, Carol's reflex was to step in front of Natasha to protect her but the redhead stood next to her, as her equal, and squeezed her hand, "Let's do this. Together."

 

Carol smiled proudly as Natasha walked straight to the fight. When they were closer, they saw reactors under the city and Carol asked Tony what he knew, "Let's just say you don't want this rock to stop flying," he replied.

 

"Tony, you know I can push planets, I could carry this thing."

 

"There is no need for now, I can find a way to stop this. You get up there and kill all those bots, you are better at that than I am."

 

"On that we agree," Carol laughed as she wrapped her arms around Natasha, "Ready for your first flight on Danvers Airline."

 

Natasha giggled, "You had to make up a name, didn't you?"

 

"Yep!" the blonde explained before taking off at a moderated speed for Natasha to not be too shaken.

 

She flew over the rock, trying to identify the location of the fight as Natasha held onto her and grinned, sparkles in her eyes as she saw the clouds and the high mountains in the landscape. Carol found the most activity on the side of the bridge and rushed there, Natasha gripping Carol's suit as their speed increased.

 

They landed on a road, close to the bridge, Carol releasing Natasha who's hair was all messy, "Time to give them hell, baby."

 

"You better run," Natasha replied as she looked at the bridge where two cars were very close to fall.

 

"Shit!" Carol cursed as she took a few steps before diving in the emptiness of air to go after one of the car that had fallen. The second followed a second later, meaning Carol was in between them. If she stopped the one in front of her, the second would smash them, well, not her because she had this capacity to glow which made her basically invisible but the person in the first car wouldn't like it. On the way, she crossed Thor who flew back to the first car. Carol therefore let the second blue one passing by her and caught it as Thor rescued the woman in the other and flew back to the bridge.

 

They arrived there at the same time, Carol gently putting the car to safety further onto the bridge as Thor pointed at where the woman must go hide.

 

As they walked towards their next face, Carol looked at Thor and smirked, "Good job there, Thunder," she told him and raised her hand, "you too, Photon," he replied and gave her a high-five.

 

Seeing Natasha fighting dozens of robots one her own, Carol started running to go help her and so did Thor. He threw Mjolnir at some bots and when he called it back, it arrived in Carol's hand, "I'm never getting used to this," she said as she observed the hammer while blasting some of their enemies.

 

"Well, don't get used to it because it is still mine," the God of thunder told her as he got it back after Carol beheaded five robots with it, "I can share if you want to get charged up but otherwise I keep it."

 

"Fine," Carol groaned as she glowed and opened her arms so more parts of her body would be hit by Thor's thunder strike. When he was done, she took off and baited at least thirty five robots before stopping high in the sky to be sure to not hurt civilians or are team mates when she released a huge shock wave of energy, destroying all the robots on its way.

 

When she got back onto the ground, she saw Thor getting dragged away by Ultron in its ultimate form. She didn't go after them, knowing Thor was strong enough to fight against Ultron. She also wanted to keep an eye on Natasha, just to make sure she was not in any danger, and she also wondered how were the twins doing.

 

"Maximoffs, how is the fight going?"

 

"Exhausting," replied Pietro, his pants heard even through the earpiece.

 

Still fighting, Carol waited for the answer of the second twin, but it didn't come, "Wanda?" she called out but still nothing.

 

"I'm going to her," Pietro said.

 

"We are fine," Clint told them, "she did great, we are all clear."

 

"Well, we're not so get your asses back there."

 

They continued on fighting, Carol not missing a single blast, flying through groups of robots and ripping them apart. Natasha was fighting with her batons, stabbing every bot she saw, preventing them to get close to the people that remained in the city that turned into a flying island. Pietro came back with Wanda and they helped the local police protecting the civilians, Carol and Natasha joining too when they had no more enemies to fight on their side.

 

All the people were safe in a building, no more robots were around but it could not be the end yet. After checking up on Pietro, Wanda and Natasha, Carol stepped away from the group and asked Tony for more informations on how to save the city, "Tony, still don't want me to fly this thing down safely?"

 

"I wish you could Cap but anti-gravity reactors can't be touched, if you tried the thrust will be reversed, meaning-"

 

"I'll get smashed between this rock and the ground, wonderful," Carol deducted, "Anything else?"

 

"I found a way to blow up the city so it doesn't impact the surface, if you guys can get clear."

 

Carol sighed, "Clear as in no more people on this rock? I can carry them out but it'll take too much time, Tony."

 

He sighed too, "I know but we're gonna have to make a choice."

 

Staring at the horizon, Carol weighted up the pros and cons, but there was no maths, saving the rest of the planet's population was the most important.

 

As she came to this realisation, Carol heard light footsteps behind her and, when she turned to see who it was, she felt the hand of her girlfriend slipping into hers, "Nice view, isn't it?" she began as she got closer, wrapping her arm around Carol's stomach and rested her head on her shoulder, "If we have to die we might as well have a nice view."

 

Carol chuckled quietly, it was true that being above the clouds was a great experience, she had been there a lot and always enjoyed it. Natasha on the other hand, she never had the chance to see this before but it seemed she loved it. Carol took note of it, if they found a way to survive this fight, she would take Natasha flying with her more often, she would show her the starts and views she can't even imagine exist.

 

"As beautiful as this is, my favourite view is beside me when I wake up every morning," Carol eventually told her, Natasha instantly lifting her head to look into her girlfriends eyes, "You are so cheesy sometimes, Danvers."

 

"And you love it," Carol whispered as she leaned in and captured Natasha's soft lips.

 

"Check out the view again, Danvers, it might get better than it already is."

 

The couple broke the kiss to see an old S.H.I.E.L.D helicarrier flying beside the city. They both gasped, relieved that Nick came with a solution to save everybody, them included.

 

"Nice, right? Pulled her out of mothballs with a couple of old friends. She's dusty, but she'll do."

 

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Carol said with excitement.

 

"Ohh Danvers!! You kiss your girlfriend with that mouth?"

 

Carol laughed like it was the good old days, when she met Nick in this diner, both looking for Pegasus. As the lifeboats got deployed, Carol noticed Pietro a few metres away, looking that the carrier with a wide smile. He looked back at her and joined the couple, "This is S.H.I.E.L.D?" he asked them.

 

"This is what I always thought it was," Natasha replied, a bit of melancholia in her voice.

 

"This is not so bad," the young man commented.

 

"Alright! Let's get the people inside," Carol shouted as she clapped her hands and made her way to one of the buildings were people were hidden, "Natasha, how many people can fit in these?"

 

"About a hundred seats, more if some stand."

 

"Okay, we fill the boat in two waves of fifty people. I'm with Natasha, Pietro, Wanda, one of you count them, the other lead the group to the boat."

 

"Yes, Cap!" they both replied.

 

The Sokovian were very attentive, no one tried to sneak into a group when they were asked to stand by to save their own life, which made it easier for the Avengers to fill the boats and send them back to the helicarrier. Quickly, an entire shelter was empty but new robots arrived and tried to destroy the lifeboats. Hopefully, Tony and Rhodey were there to take care of those robots and, if needed, Carol could join.

 

As Carol was sending another boat back to the helicarrier, Tony let them know that he finally found a plan that would work.

 

"We're out of time," said the God of Thunder, "They're coming for the core."

 

Carol had not totally followed what was the core's importance but if Thor said they had to defend it, they would. While Tony asked Rhodey to replace them to bring the civilians on the boats, Carol went to Natasha and offered her a second ticket for a flight with her. She climbed high in the sky to find the church and then dove back to it.

 

As they landed, the Maximoffs arrived too, joining Thor, Vision and Tony who were already there.

 

"What's the drill," Natasha asked.

 

Tony pointed at the core behind him, "This is the drill. If Ultron gets his hand on it, we lose."

 

The Hulk arrived smashing a robot into the ground, the suddenness of his appearance not frightening Natasha a slight bit, Carol noted. Clint was there too now, the team was complete, united to defend the core.

 

"Is that the best you can do?" Thor yelled at Ultron who was floating outside the church.

 

The robot rose its arm, sending which seemed to be all his remaining bots at them. There were hundreds of them, running in their direction, "This is the best I can do," Ultron told them, "this is exactly what I wanted, all of you against all of me. How can you possibly hope to stop me?"

 

Tony chuckled, "We have these guys, they are pretty strong," he pointed at Carol and Thor, "and also this whole team."

 

The Hulk's roar sounded the beginning of this fight against thousands of Ultron's robots. They all stood in a circle around the core, some focusing on the bots on the grounds, others on those flying. Quickly, the Vision and Carol got in the air to fight, Tony joined as well when the grounded team handled their part of the fight quite effectively.

 

Carol always had an eye on Natasha, how she was imperturbable despite the fact that she was fighting robots with her little gun and many combat skills. But the more robots they killed, the more Ultron threw at their faces, and they were getting out numbered. They could not lose now, if they reached the core basically the entire population of the planet would die and that wasn't an option.

 

Without really thinking it, Carol landed on the core and concentrated all the energy inside her before releasing all at once. It had the same power as the energy shields she made when protecting Natasha, but this time it wiped out hundreds of robots, which made Ultron very angry.

 

Their main opponent rushed on Carol and pushed her into the closest wall before Vision flew in and threw him out of the church. Carol followed them and blasted the robot as it was struggling to stand while Vision's laser burnt its face. Then, Tony and Thor joined, respectively hitting Ultron with blasts and thunder.

 

Its face had partly melted when they all stopped, and the robot didn't get the chance to talk more before it was punched away by the Hulk. Suddenly, all the robots tried to escape, but Tony didn't let them the chance to as he ordered Rhodey to kill them all. The Vision also went after them while a group gathered in the church, the twins, Clint, Natasha and Carol, "We gotta go if we wanna breath. Vision can locate the last robots and kill them," the Captain told the group.

 

"What about the core?" Clint asked.

 

"I'll protect it," Wanda said but Carol immediately disagreed, "No! You get to the boat I'll protect the core."

 

Clint glanced at Wanda, telling her to follow him to leave Carol and Natasha alone. The redhead got closer to her girlfriend, her hands automatically finding hers, "You better be careful."

 

"Always am," Carol replied with a smirk before kissing her lips, "I love you."

 

"Say that again when we are all safe," Natasha told her before leaving her alone with the core.

 


 

Wanda was on a boat, telling the last people where to sit while Pietro led them there. He was going and coming back and going again, running at normal speed for once, helping the people of his country, their country, these people were their people. Wanda could see the last civilians being led by Clint and Thor to another boat, one that left the flying city for the carrier.

 

"We are staying there until everybody is back," Pietro told his sister.

 

"Aren't they all?" Wanda asked before realising he was talking about the last Avengers still on the island, "Where are they?"

 

"Well, Carol can fly so that's fine but I think her girlfriend went after the green one."

 

"The Hulk," Wanda corrected, "it's the Hulk and Carol's girlfriend is Natasha."

 

"Sure, whatever, you know I'm bad with names."

 

Wanda chuckles, "That's true, you can't remember the name of all the people you have flirted with."

 

"That is not the same, I just didn't ask their names."

 

The young witch burst into laughter. It was something her brother could do naturally, make her laugh so easily, sometimes he didn't even do it on purpose.

 

"Wanda!" Pietro exclaimed, stopping her amusement. She turned her head and saw the jet arriving at high speed in direction of the boat. It changed its course and started firing at Thor and some policemen who were still on the rock. But then, she saw him, Clint, he had a little boy in his arms but he could not make it to the boat, the jet was coming at him.

 

It happened so fast, Pietro about to run out of the boat to save him, Wanda grabbing his shirt to stop him from going and finally Clint getting shot by the canon rifle of the jet. Pietro looked back at Wanda with wide eyes as the dust faded away, she prevented him to go, he could have saved Clint but she didn't let him, she couldn't let him put his life on the line.

 

The cloud of dusted rocks disappeared, and there was Clint, still alive but with at least five bullets in his body. Pietro ran by his side, took the boy that he just saved and brought him to his mother. Thor carried Clint to the boat but it was already too late for him, even if he was still breathing, he was too injured to make it.

 


 

Carol was blasting the last incoming robots, nothing out of the ordinary, when Tony talked to her in her comms, "Cap, your girl is still not on the boat," he informed.

 

"What!?"

 

"She went after Bruce to get him back and neither one of them is there."

 

"I'm going to get her."

 

Carol didn't hesitate to leave the core without any protection, there couldn't be any more bots anyway, she thought, after the protective shield she did if one was still functioning it was really resistant.

 

Following her guts, Carol arrived on a playground and found Natasha unconscious, she must have taken a hit in the head but she didn't seem to be physically hurt. Carol carefully lifted her and carried her, bridal style, to the last boat. When they were a few metres away from it, the ground suddenly dropped under Carol's feet and she free fell with it. But hopefully, Carol could fly and reached the boat without her or Natasha getting hurt.

 

She landed on it, gently put Natasha on a seat and buckled her up. When she was done, she looked at her fellow Avengers on the boat and instantly felt that something was wrong. Dreading the worst, she went to the twins and Thor who were looking down at someone on a seat.

 

Carol made her way to them and gasped when she saw Clint, bullets holes all over his body, panting and struggling to breathe, "Hey Cap," the marksman said with a forced smile, "I need to tell you something."

 

The other three Avengers shared glances before stepping away, leaving Carol and Clint alone.

 

"What have you done, man?" Carol asked as she sat beside him and took his hand, sadness in her voice.

 

"You have to tell Nat that- tell her I know she loves me, she never had to say it. And-" he coughed, struggling more and more to inhale, "tell her she will be the best godmother to my son."

 

"God, Clint, I'm so sorry," Carol told him, realising he would never meet his third child.

 

"Take good care of her, Carol," Clint whispered before bowing his head.

 

Carol held his hand, the archer bringing it to his heart as he sucked on his breaths, "I promise I will," she eventually muttered, a tear running down her cheek, "What about Laura, and the kids?"

 

Resting his head against his seat, Clint took a look at Natasha, who was still unconscious a few seats away, before sharing one last glance with Carol, "They know," he choked and closed his eyes.

 

He was gone.

 

Carol quietly sobbed as she felt the muscles of Clint's hand releasing into hers. After gathering herself, Carol gently took Clint in her arms and lied him down. Pietro and Wanda, who must have been watching the scene, came with a white drape that they put over him to cover his body. Wordlessly, Carol asked them to stay around while she went to check on Natasha.

 

She was still knocked out, far from imagining her best friend had just died. Carol clenched her jaw as she stared at Natasha's peaceful face, trying her best not to cry as she glimpsed his feet not covered by the sheet. She suddenly felt the need to hold Natasha close, to have her in her arms, safe, and pulled her against her chest as she cried more tears that rolled onto her cheeks and got absorbed by Natasha's hair.

 

When the boat landed in the helicarrier, Maria and Nick were there, waiting for them. Maria went to Clint's corpse, three men with a stretcher took him and brought him somewhere else while the civilians got out. Nick, who was still standing in the middle of the bay, followed with his eye his ex agent until he was out.

 

It eventually only was Carol, Natasha and Maria on the boat, the dark haired woman coming with her tablet in hand to sit beside Carol.

 

"You're gonna hate this but um…" she turned on her tablet to show Carol the radar of the Quinjet, "Banner is in this, we are still in range for communication but he will soon be too far and the jet is in stealth mod, we won't be able to track it so um," she looked back at Nick who was still there, his hands in his back, "we need Romanoff to talk to him."

 

Trying to keep her cool, Carol let out a long sighed as she looked at her girlfriend who was slowly coming back to consciousness, "You're right, I hate this. He can't asked this when," she lowered her voice and whispered, "her best friend just died."

 

"I know but only she can bring him back to sense."

 

"Bruce?" said a weak, tired Natasha, "where is he, what happened?"

 

Carol wanted to tell her that everything was okay but she got bested by Nick, who stepped inside the boat, "He is in a Quinjet that is in stealth mod, you gotta talk to him before he is too far."

 

Rubbing the back of her head, Natasha sat up and took to the tablet, "Alright, give this to me."

 

Carol glared at Nick with all her anger, if she could throw blasts with her eyes, he'd already be a dead man. In the corner of her eyes she was seeing Natasha, still a bit dizzy by the hit she took in the head, getting her speech ready.

 

"You are on," Maria told her as the Hulk appeared on the screen and Natasha started, "Hey big guy! We did it, the job is finished. Now I need you to turn this bird around, okay? We can't track you in stealth mod-"

 

Before she could continue, the communication had stopped, cut by the Hulk, "Shit…" Maria cursed under her breath.

 

"I'm sorry," Natasha said as she handed her the tablet back and rubbed her temple, "I need to be checked out, I don't feel so good."

 

Carol instantly stood up, "Sure, let me take you to the med bay."

 

Natasha snuggled up to Carol's side as the taller woman carried her in her arms. As they got to the med bay, Carol realised that it might be were Clint's body was, so she entered the first empty medical room and did the exam herself.

 

"Carol, are you sure you are competent for this?" Natasha asked as she took a flash light and tested her pupils' reactions.

 

"I was in the air force, Natasha, we all went through a medical training, especially for brain injuries."

 

Natasha chuckled lightly, "All right then, what do you see, doctor?"

 

After making her following the light with her eyes, Carol put it down and gave her conclusion, "Everything seems fine but I still want you to pass a scan in case there is an internal bleeding."

 

"Are you done?" Natasha asked as her hands reached Carol's waist, "'Cause you are really hot when you play the doctor," she added as she slowly pulled Carol towards her.

 

Seeing the smirk on Natasha's face, Carol gently resisted her, holding her head with her hands so the redhead couldn't kiss her, "Baby, there is something you have to know."

 

Natasha whined, "Can't it wait until after I kiss you?"

 

"It can't."

 

After a long sigh, Natasha looked up and matched Carol's gaze, "Tell me."

 

Carol swallowed hard, she didn't know how to say this. After a few seconds of reflection, she sat beside Natasha and took her hands in hers, "Something happened, while I was at the church and you were after Bruce. I don't know all the details but-"

 

"Carol, you are scaring me. What's wrong?"

 

The blonde could see the panic building up in Natasha's eyes, her breathing was irregular and her hands started to sweat. She had to tell her, now, or Natasha would have a very bad panic attack – she might have one anyway.

 

"I think Ultron stole the Quinjet and used it to shoot people. He was flying over the boat and, I don't know how but um…" Carol paused, trying not to cry before tell Natasha, "Clint was there and he got shot, multiple times."

 

There was a soft gasp from Natasha, and then nothing. There was just silence, a heavy, suffocating silence as realisation appeared in Natasha's eyes. She didn't move a bit, she was just breathing, her eyes fixated on Carol's, her mouth agape. Carol didn't know what to do or say, this absence of reaction from her girlfriend made her brain freeze, nothing seemed to be right.

 

However, after a long couple of minutes, Natasha squeezed Carol's hands and spoke up, "Can I see him?" she asked, her voice on the verge of breaking.

 

"Sure," Carol whispered before caressing Natasha's cheek, "just wait there for a second."

 

After a kiss on Natasha's forehead, Carol stepped out of the room and searched for someone that looked in charge in this part of the ship. When she saw a woman with an outfit with a different colour from the others, Carol called her and asked if she knew where was Clint. When she nodded, Carol asked her to give her second and stuck her head in the room to tell Natasha to come.

 

Wordlessly, they followed the woman to the other side of the med bay, in a quieter corridor. Natasha's hand instantly found Carol's, she needed the support, she needed her.

 

Carol thanked the woman who left them on their own in front of a door. After a glance back at the redhead and a nod from her, Carol took a deep breath and opened the door.

 

There he was. Clint. A long sheet covering his body up to his shoulders. He was still in his suit, his quiver was on the floor, the one Natasha offered him for Christmas a year and a half ago.

 

With shaking breaths, Natasha stepped forward, stopping when she was at reach. She put on hand on his shoulder and the other rested on his stomach, where he was shot by the bunker a few days ago.

 

Carol walked the few steps that separated her from her girlfriend and stood behind her, her hands lightly resting on her waist, "He told me that he knew you love him," Carol whispered to her ear. She was slightly surprised by the scoffed that followed, but it was also so Clint and Natasha to never talk feelings that she didn't comment, "he also said you will be the best godmother to his son."

 

At this, Natasha bowed her head and pulled her hands away from his body. At the first sob she heard, Carol stepped beside Natasha and tugged her in her arms gently, Natasha letting out more loud cries as she tucked her face in the hollow of Carol's neck. Silently, Carol tried to soothe her, rocking her from side to side, rubbing her back, but Natasha's pain was too big for the moment, she needed to let it all out and Carol would let her.

 

It was just so unfair, Carol thought, Natasha had already been through so much, she lost her parents when she was a child, was forced to kill her friends, her sisters, to survive, she fought so much in her life before finding something good. It was Clint first, then Nick and S.H.I.E.L.D, Maria, Tony, the Avengers and Carol, she had all this and lost some, her job at first, and now her best friend had been taken away.

 

It made Carol want to stop being Captain Marvel even more, she didn't want to be another reason for Natasha to suffer, to be another person that she would lose. No one deserved to have such a life, even the worst people that ever existed, but Natasha inherited of it and all she was doing was surviving. Carol wanted her to live, she wanted her girlfriend to not have so much on her mind that she can't relax, she wanted her to be able to do nothing for days, to think about nothing but herself for a change.

 

There was nothing Carol wished more for her girlfriend, for her to be healed, happy and safe, but it seemed that the world didn't want her to have that yet.

 

They stood in this dark room for so long that Carol lost track of time. Both still in their suits, they held onto one another as if someone was trying to pull them apart, the need to be close so strong that they could not risk being separated a tiny bit. It was surely the first time Carol heard Natasha cry so much, yet she had cried a lot since they first met, but never it was such a deep raw pain. Carol herself was affected by the loss of her friend but it was so miniscule compared to what Natasha was feeling that she could hold her tears to be a hundred percent there for Natasha.

 

Her sobs eventually became less frequent, her breathing was still irregular but she was slowly calming. Carol continued stroking her back and her hair, whispering a few little words to her ear, promising her that everything would be okay, until Natasha pulled out of the hug, her hands still on Carol's shoulders, and matched her gaze, "I have to tell Laura," she sniffled, her voice suddenly serious and firm.

 

"Baby-"

 

"No Carol!" She interrupted, not wanting the blonde to lecture her about how it would affect her morale to do it herself, "I have to be the one telling her. She is my friend, she needs to hear it from me."

 

"Okay, but I'm coming with you then."

 

Natasha softly smiled, "Never thought you wouldn't," she murmured and looked down at Carol's lips before kissing them.

 

"I love you too," the blonde said with her typical smirk before pressing another loving kiss on Natasha's lips again, "we gotta got to the bridge, we need to debrief."

 

After one last look at her best friend, Natasha took Carol's hand and followed her to the bridge. The team was there, with its new members, the Maximoff twins who were sitting apart from the rest of the group, as if they felt like they weren't welcomed. To show them the opposite, Carol sat on their side of the table, pulling the chair beside her for Natasha but the redhead remained standing and staring at her.

 

Carol eventually got the hint and gave some space for Natasha to sit on her lap. The redhead wanted to feel close to her girlfriend, as close as possible, and that way, with Carol pressed against her body, she could protect her. And now she could just sit on Carol's lap, they were official to the whole team, they weren't hiding anymore.

 

As the room got quieter, the Vision phased into the helicarrier and stood in front of everybody, "Ultron is no more. I have taken care of his last bodies."

 

"Well… that's the best news of the day," Tony said, "Hill gave me some numbers, as of yet we counted more than a hundred civilian deaths as well as thousands of people who lost their homes. It is going to cost billions the rebuild it all."

 

While Tony and the group continued their exchange, Vision sat beside Carol and Natasha, leaning closer to the latter, "Miss Romanoff, we didn't get the chance to meet yet but I wanted to offer you my condolences for the loss of your friend."

 

It meant a lot to Natasha to hear that, even if it came from a machine, and she gave Vision a thanking nod before focusing back on the discussion.

 

They had a lot to figure out and it was complicated for them to agree on things, between Tony, Thor and the Maximoffs, they all had different point of views on how handling what they just did. They had to be on the same page if they wanted this team to work.

 


 

Seeing the desperation of the Avengers a few feet away, Nick felt the need to go talk to them, to cheer them up a little, as hard as it was considering they just lost a friend.

 

But, after only one step, he was stopped by a firm hand grasping his biceps, "I think you should let them handle this on their own, sir," Maria discreetly told him before making eye contact, "What they just lived together, this loss, it will unite them, it will make them a better team. And if anything bad happens I will be there to tell you."

 

Nick turned to face her, "You are not coming back with me?"

 

"Sorry sir, I still am an employee of Stark Industries. And I also wanna keep an eye on them, they are my friends."

 

"Very well then, Agent Hill," Nick offered her his hand, "It was a genuine pleasure to have you by my side.

Chapter 38: Clint

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The Avengers borrowed a quinjet from the helicarrier to go back to New York while Natasha and Carol took one for them to go straight to the countryside of Washington. They arrived at the Bartons' property in the middle of the afternoon, meaning Laura would be alone in the house, the kids being at school.

 

It was a bit of a relief for Carol to know that, explaining to the kids that their father would not come back home would be a difficult task, Laura needed some time for herself to hear the news first before telling them. The couple would be there for it too, but first telling Clint's wife was the most important.

 

Laura was in the kitchen as the two women passed by the window and went to the front door. When they knocked, she shouted, telling them that the door was opened. They made their way inside, Laura delighted to see them as she stirred whatever was in the bowl in front of her.

 

"Oh! You guys are done, that's great. I haven't been watching the news lately, how did it go?"

 

The poor woman had no idea of what the couple was about to tell her, she was innocently mixing batter for a cake, not imagining for a moment that her husband was not going to pass the doorway ever again. After a short, full of pain glance, Natasha joined Laura in the kitchen while Carol watched them from the living room.

 

Turning to face the redhead, Laura noticed that she was not in normal clothes but in her suit, "You wanted a break from Avenging, didn't you? I'm sure Clint convinced you to come here, you are both too stubborn to rest when you need to."

 

Hearing his name felt like a shotgun shot right in Natasha's heart, it shredded it in million pieces. As hard as she tried, Natasha could not hold her emotion as the last image of him appeared in her mind. Her reaction instantly alerted Laura who stopped her activity and tilted her head, she made the connection before Natasha could tell her.

 

"No…" she muttered, Carol rushing to her side as realisation filled her eyes.

 

"I'm so sorry, Laura," Natasha said, it was the only thing she could think about. This whole situation didn't make much sense to her either, everything was fine, Clint was well, and then she woke up and he had died.

 

Muffled sobs escaped Laura's mouth as she covered it with one hand and held onto Carol with the other, the blonde leading her to the closest couch as she struggled to remain standing. Natasha sat on her other side, holding her hand as she stroked her back in a desperate attempt to make her feel better but how could it work? Laura just learnt that her husband, the love of her life, died in combat, nothing could make her feel better.

 

The two women remained silent as the owner of the house cried tears of pure sorrow. They kept their own pain deep inside, allowing the newly widow to express her own as much as she needed. In Natasha's arms, her head resting on her shoulder, Laura cried for long minutes as the lovers didn't even dare to look at each other, feeling like being in love wasn't fair for their friend who just lost hers.

 

Laura eventually calmed down, her breathing still irregular but better, and pulled out of the embrace, "What happened?" she asked Natasha but the redhead didn't know anything and just shrugged.

 

Seeing her distress, Carol, who had had more details about what happened from the twins, put her hand on Laura's shoulder and spoke up, "There was a boy, about Cooper's age. He was lost and Clint found him. He was going to bring him to safety when he Ultron arrived. He protected the boy with his own body."

 

Laura slightly smiled, his husband dying to save a life being a slight relief to all her heavy pain. Wiping her tears away, Laura looked at Natasha, who was staring into space, and took her hand, "Don't," she began, the redhead finally matching her gaze, "don't start blaming yourself, Natasha. I know you and I know it's what is happening in your head, but you did nothing wrong."

 

"I just wish I could have saved him."

 

"I know," Laura replied and squeezed her hand, "I think we all do."

 

Clenching her jaw, Natasha nodded before looking at her girlfriend, the latter just staring back with the corner of her lips curved into a comforting smile.

 

"I have to pick up the kids at school."

 

The couple wanted to accompany her, it would be hard for her to keep the information for herself for an entire drive back home but Laura told them they couldn't come, if they did the kids would ask where was their father and she didn't want to tell them he had died in the car. They were old enough to understand but Laura wanted them to be at home, where they would feel safe.

 

The school was not far but the half hour that Natasha and Carol had to wait before they were back was the longest of their lives. The spent every minutes in a total silence, the only noises being Natasha changing position on the couch, hopelessly trying to get a rid of the discomfort of her suit. Carol eventually left the living room to coma back a minute later with a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that they had left at the Bartons' during one of their trip here.

 

Wordlessly, Carol helped her girlfriend out of her suit and Natasha put on what she brought her. She thanked the blonde with a peck on the lips just before the kids stormed inside the house and jumped in their arms, Cooper in Carol's and Lila in Natasha's.

 

"Auntie Nat! Auntie Carol!" the little girl screamed, Natasha smile partly forced as she knew this moment of joy would not last long.

 

"It's so cool to see you," said the young boy, he was even a teenager now.

 

"Mommy look! Auntie Nat and Auntie Carol are here!"

 

Laura chuckled nervously, "I know baby, I told them to stay here to surprise you."

 

"That's the best surprise ever," Lila shouted as she held onto both Natasha and Carol, the couple doing their best to show some joy with forced smiles.

 

"So you beat him? The robot, my friends said he was very dangerous but you beat him anyway," Cooper cheered as he went back to his mother, "how did Dad do? Still shooting arrows even if it was made of impenetrable metal?"

 

The moment had arrived, now that Cooper had mentioned Clint, there was no going back. Trying her best to put on a front, Laura joined Carol, Lila and Natasha who were now sat on the couch and asked her children to sit in front of her on the coffee table. They weren't usually allowed to do that so they quickly obliged, not imagining for a second what their mother was about to tell them.

 

"Mommy, tell us what Daddy told you, I want to know how he beat up that monster," the young girl said.

 

Laura sucked on a breath, it was so hard for her to hear her kids talking about their dad as if he was still alive when she knew he was gone. Natasha moved closer and wrapped a comforting arm around waist, Carol on her other side was holding her hand.

 

After a long minute and still no word from his mother, Cooper started to worry, "Mom… is there something wrong?" he asked, concern on his face.

 

"Um, yeah," Laura began, not the best way to start but at least she communicated with her kids, "something happened."

 

"With Dad?" the boy wondered, his gut feeling that something wasn't right in his mother's behaviour, "is he okay?"

 

At the question, Laura burst into tears, her face in her hands as she leaned forward and cried loud sobs of grief. Seeing this, the kids instantly ran to her side and hugged her, silent tears rolling down Cooper's cheeks as he understood. His jaw clenched, he looked at Natasha who stroked his hair, allowing him to cry.

 

"Mommy, what happened?" Lila asked, she had not understood and was still in the dark. But Laura was not in a state to tell her and Cooper was now in Natasha's arms so Carol took the girl with her and sat her on her lap.

 

"We fought the robot. It was really hard, a lot of people were injured and, some died," Carol swallowed, "we had almost saved everybody but the robot was still there and he was so angry. Your dad was there and he tried to fight him but the robot was better, he fought until he couldn't, he was so brave baby girl."

 

"Where is Daddy now?" she innocently asked.

 

Carol closed her eyes as she took a deep breath, and when she opened them again, Natasha's hand reached her shoulder, giving her the support she needed, "He is gone, sweetheart. He did everything he could, he saved a young boy like your brother, and that's what took him away. I'm so sorry."

 

"So Daddy is not coming back?" Lila wondered, her eyes that looked so much like Clint's filled with tears.

 

"He won't," Laura answered, taking both her kids in her arms.

 

They all cried together, in silence, and at that moment, Carol and Natasha knew that they had to leave them alone.

 

Carol pulled Natasha by the hand and led her to the spare room, their room. Inside, Carol sat on the mattress and Natasha joined her, straddling her lap as she began to kiss her, quickly deepening it. Carol didn't totally understand what had happened but she, for sure, couldn't resist it when Natasha was kissing her like this, like when she wanted to show her how much she loved her.

 

Grasping her thighs, Carol pulled Natasha against her body, the two of them forming just one as she broke the kiss to suck on her girlfriend's skin. Natasha's fingers in her blonde locks only encouraging Carol to continue, she held her and lied her down on the mattress as kissed every ounce of Natasha's skin.

 

But suddenly, Natasha cupped her face and brought her close, pressing her foreheads together. Panting, Carol waited for her to gather her thoughts, knowing what it would be about.

 

"You can't ever leave me, you understand," she murmured, firm in her last word.

 

Sitting up, Carol pulled Natasha with her, their legs messily entwined, and caressed her cheeks, "I'm never going anywhere, baby. I belong with you."

 

Natasha nodded before wrapping her arms around Carol, her face mindlessly finding its place in the crook of her neck.

 

That day had been hard, after they spent a long hour, just the two of them, Carol and Natasha went back downstairs to take care of the Bartons. They were chatting about their dad, Laura explaining to them what was to come, the funeral, the people that would come and give them their condolences. Meanwhile the couple got the table ready for dinner, finished what Laura started earlier and everything was served when they came to the kitchen.

 

The night had been filled with nightmares, Lila, Laura, Cooper, Natasha, they all successively dreamt of Clint and woke up screaming. Natasha eventually decided that sleeping could wait for another night and Carol stayed awake to be with her. When one of the kids got awakened, they would go and comfort them, that way Laura could get some rest of her own.

 

For the next few days, Laura organised the funeral with Natasha, Carol and Tony, who had joined and offered to pay for everything, while her parents were babysitting the kids.

 

On the morning of the funeral, it was hard for everybody to get ready. The breakfast had been silent as hell, no one saying hello, only Carol's few whispers to Natasha were heard. Then, they went the get dressed, Laura taking her children with her while the couple went to their room.

 

Carol hated getting ready for this kind of ceremony, especially when she had to put on her air force official outfit. The only happy time she wore it was when she got accepted into the air force, the others were only funerals. But it also was a way to show her respect to the Barton family to dress up and she was thankful of how reactive Maria had been when she texted her to ask her to send it over mail, even though she wished she had had to contact her best friend for another reason.

 

Shirt buttoned up, jacket on, Carol waited for Natasha to get out of the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the bed. When she did come out, Natasha was in a very simple black dress, a black jacket on top of it and was tying three little strands of her hair into a braid. She had one already done on the other side of her head, and if Carol didn't already know what it meant she would have asked but instead she just complimented her girlfriend, "I know you don't care to hear this right now but you are… very beautiful, Natasha."

 

Natasha pursed her lips as she blushed, "You look great too."

 

"Thanks… I just wish the reason I would have to get this outfit from Maria's would be our wedding."

 

"Wow!" Natasha blurted out, her eyes full of surprise, "Are we already talking wedding?"

 

Realising that already speaking about marriage when she was dating Natasha was not the best thing to do, Carol clarified, "I mean for a good occasion. Could as well be Tony's and Pepper's wedding if the man find the courage to ask her."

 

Hopefully, this little comment on Tony's cowardice relaxed Natasha who giggled, "We might be married before them to be honest."

 

Taking the last step that separated them, Carol put her hands on Natasha's waist and drew her close, "I really cannot wait to have you as my wife," she whispered against her lips before kissing them tenderly.

 

"And I can't wait to have you as mine, моя."

 

Carol smiled at the pet name, that she really enjoyed, and kissed her girlfriend once more before taking her hand, "We will have a lot of time to think about this in a happier, brighter future," she said as she opened the door of the bedroom, "but now we are expected."

 

They were in fact expected by Maria who was picking them up at Clint's to bring them to the funeral. She was there as his friend but also to give Laura Nick's condolences, she knew the man was not dead but he couldn't be seen but other people, as much as he wanted to be there.

 

All the team flew to Washington for Clint's funeral, Sam also make the trip to be there for the couple. They were the only non-family people allowed in this small gathering. Laura's was supported by her parents and brother-in-law, Barney, Clint's brother.

 

A soft music was playing in the background as everybody found their seats, the closest people to Clint all on the first row. Natasha and Carol were sitting at the end of the first row, the redhead beside Lila who was holding both Natasha's and her mother's hand. Tony and Pepper were seated behind them, the Iron Man giving Natasha a supportive squeeze on her shoulder as she was getting ready to ready his eulogy, or her version of it.

 

Laura had asked her to write one, she knew she couldn't do it Natasha was the closest person to him beside her. Natasha couldn't say no, not that she wanted to, but she knew it would be a difficult moment for her, emotionally speaking. She wrote a little speech, in secret, no one had read it, not even Carol. She cried a lot writing it, every time she thought of him she had flashes, memories of good moment they had together and holding her tears was impossible.

 

When she was called by the priest, Natasha gave a glance at Carol, a pat on Lila's head and then stood up and went to the lectern. With shaking hands, she took the paper on which she wrote her words and cleared her throat, "Clint. God, even saying your name is hard now… You've been such a good person your entire life, and you proved it in your last moment, giving yours to save an innocent child. When we met, Clint and Laura weren't engaged yet, it's only when he found out that Laura was pregnant of Cooper that he realised he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and I want to believe you two did. You had such a beautiful life, made two wonderful kids and I can tell little Nathaniel will be too. I was lucky enough to witness how good of a husband he was to Laura and how amazing of a father he was to his kids, but I also know that he was a supportive colleague and friend. He was my best friend… " Natasha chuckled, the next sentence so out of all the beautiful things she said before but it also was the one that meant so much to her, "When I met him," Natasha said as her throat tightened, making it impossible for her to continue. She wanted to continue, so hard, but the more she tried the more tears she cried.

 

Seeing her struggling, Carol joined Natasha at the lectern and pulled her close, Natasha sniffling as she showed her where she should resume, "When I met him, he was sent to kill me, but he made a different call and I wouldn't have had the chance to meet the love of my life if he hadn't disobeyed his orders…" Carol recited before turning to Natasha who smiled at her, "I owe him my life, he helped me through such difficult times and I know he helped others. Clint was a good man and that's what I'll always remember of him."

 

As she finished, Carol folded the paper and gave it back to Natasha before they both walked back to their seats, hand in hand. Looking on her left, Natasha saw the silent tear of Lila and leaned in to plant a kiss on top of her head as she stroked her cheeks with her thumb. The redhead was amaze by how brave this little eight years old was, sitting there, supporting her mom who was emotionally so affected by the loss of her husband that she could not take care of her kids at the moment.

 

The ceremony continued with words from Clint's brother, the priest and finally Cooper who wrote an adorable poem to his dad. He said he knew that, when he saw this young boy lost and afraid, Clint thought of him and it was why he was not there anymore, he couldn't imagine not protecting a kid that made him think of his son. It was very hard for the entire audience to hold their tears at his words, Carol barely fought them and from the sniffles she heard behind her she could tell Tony was emotional too.

 

The end of the ceremony was family members only, Natasha was allowed to stay because Laura asked her too but the others had to leave. Carol quickly checked on all of them, gave Tony a hug after he confirmed to her that he had been moved by the young boy's words. She also went to the twins, made sure they were okay since funerals weren't something easy for them after both their parents died. Thor was talking to Vision when he told Carol that he wanted to have a word with Natasha, to what Carol replied that she would send her to him whenever she would come back.

 

Her last stop was with Sam, who was holding a glass of water in each of his hands, "Seems like you need it, you're gonna end up dehydrated if you continue to cry like that," he joked, earning him a punch in the arm.

 

"Because I am half human doesn't mean I don't have feelings," she clarified before taking a sip.

 

"I know, Cap, just messing with you."

 

Carol smiled into her glass before her features all suddenly turned serious, "Sam, I need to ask you something."

 

The man slightly frown, "I'm listening."

 

"I want you to join the Avengers, permanently. We need you Sam, you would be an amazing asset, you are already a trained soldier and have skills that none of us have. And we lost two people, even if Bruce is somewhere I doubt he would want to stay in the team, so we need new blood. Earth still needs heroes and you could be one. We need you."

 

There was a blank of sound after she finished until Sam chuckled, "That was the shittiest speech I've ever heard!"

 

Carol had to admit, she had been more persuasive in the past and she bit her bottom lip to not laugh at herself, "Did it work?" she genuinely asked, her demand still very serious.

 

"Ugh man, I don't know how but yes, it did."

 

"Oh, thank God," she gasped as she pulled him into a tight embrace, "thank you so much."

 

He patted her back before pulling out, "No worries! But I'm telling you now, I want the biggest room possible."

 

Carol snorted, she couldn't believe he was asking for this kind of detail but it was also not too surprising, it was Sam after all. After a few seconds of thinking, she remember that Tony told her the Avengers compound in up state New York would soon be ready, meaning they would all move in and have new rooms, "You'll have the second biggest room because Natasha and I will have the biggest one since we will be two people in one room."

 

"Alright, sounds fair to me."

 


 

This last moment in front of Clint's coffin as be the worst for Natasha and she was glad it was over. She wanted to be there, to put this flower on it as a symbol of her eternal love for him, but it broke her heart that she never had the chance to tell him, even if he said he knew.

 

There were so much they never said, whenever it came to feeling toward the other, Clint and Natasha never talked but they knew, and deep down Natasha was glad he confirmed it to Carol before his last breath.

 

After this ceremony, the only thing Natasha wanted was to find her girlfriend and hug her for a long hour, but as she made her way to the crowd and looked for her, someone gently grabbed her biceps and took her aside.

 

"Natasha," Thor said with an unusual tone, "I have been willing to speak to you."

 

A bit intrigued, Natasha looked around before crossing her arms and nodding to let him speak.

 

"I wanted you to know that, if you ever need, I am there for you as a friend. Talking is important in the process of grief, I know what it is to lose someone close to you, it never is easy, but you have to remember that you still have many people around that care for you and love you. It is hard to let them help you, no one can fully understand your pain but be sure that they will try their hardest to be what you need. I guess you will not come to me, I know Carol is this person for you and I am happy you have someone like her. Just… don't close yourself to her, I have the tendency to do that and it is not good. She is there for you, ready to be whoever you need her to be, to do whatever you need her to do, and that is one of the most valuable thing in the world. Allow her to help and allow yourself to tell her everything you need to say, she will be there to receive it and understand it."

 

Natasha was taken aback, she didn't expect such nice words from Thor. Of course, he was a great man and she never doubted his manners but they weren't that close friends, yet he waited for her and was as supportive as she needed him to be, "Thank you, Thor. It really means a lot to me," she told him and gave him a quick hug before searching for Carol again.

 

"Anytime. Now, I'm going to let you go back to your partner, she is right there," he pointed at the blonde, who was a few metres away behind Natasha.

 

The redhead thanked him before pacing towards her girlfriend, her hand finding hers to pull her away from Maria and Sam for more intimacy.

 

"Hey you," Carol said with a wide smile before pulling Natasha in a tight hug.

 

"Carol," Natasha breathed, she did want to hug a few minutes earlier but now, and after this talk with Thor, she had more urgent things to do and say but the Captain didn't let go so easily.

 

"This speech was beautiful, I-"

 

"I love you," Natasha cut off, stepping out of the hug to see her girlfriend wide eyed. Softly smiling, Natasha cupped her cheek, Carol's hands slowly found their spot on her waist as her features went back to a normal happy smile, "I love you so much it makes my body ache when you are not close to me and I want to say it out loud because you deserve to hear it. You are my reason to live Carol, you make me wanna get better, you make me feel so many things I didn't know existed and that just makes me love you more… I love you and I want you to know it, because we never know what will happen tomorrow… I love you."

 

Biting her lower lip to hide her grin, Carol giggled happily, "Did I mishear you or did you just say you love me?"

 

"You are a dumbass, Carol Danvers," Natasha commented as she shook her head.

 

"Yes but a dumbass that you love," Carol whispered as she leaned in, pausing as Natasha murmured against her lips, "A dumbass I love with everything I have in me."

 

Carol chuckled as Natasha captured her lips in a soft, loving kiss, her thumbs running up and down her cheekbones. They both wanted more really soon but they were still in the backyard of a funeral house and had just gotten out of a funeral, not the best moment for some heated making out in public.

 

"I love you, малыш," Carol said quietly as they parted, Natasha giggling as she heard her usual pet name said in her native language.

 

As they slowly sway, Natasha thought about all the bad that happened in the last days and knew Clint we be happy something good came out if it, even if he would have loved to be there to witness his best friend saying these three words to the love of her life. Now, Natasha would never stop herself from saying them, to Carol or to anybody else, and she wasn't going to waste a second, "Я тебя люблю, моя."

Notes:

Baby- малыш (maliish)
I love you- Я тебя люблю (Ya tebya lyublyu)
Mine- моя (moya)

Chapter 39: The new Avengers

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

After the funeral, Natasha and Carol stayed with Laura and kids for an entire week to help. It was mostly to relieve Laura from having to babysit the kids while her parents were organising things to move in for a few months to help her. Laura was also eight months pregnant, her son would soon arrive therefore she had some difficulties to do some things on her own.

 

The kids were being the best versions of themselves, knowing their mom needed it. Losing their father, so early in their lives, made them grow up faster than they should have, Natasha observed it even after two weeks. However, she reminded them, and especially Cooper, that they were allowed to be sad about their dad's passing, they could cry if they felt the need to. It was no shame to be sad, it was important that they kept that in mind because suppressing feelings was the worst thing to do, Natasha knew that very well.

 

At the end of their stay at the Barons, it was hard for Natasha to leave. She felt like it was her duty to help Laura, especially since she couldn't do anything to save Clint. But again, Laura told her that everything would be okay, she had lived without her husband before, for months some times, she would manage.

 

They booked normal public plane tickets to go back to New York, wanting to have a bit of normalcy after these few weeks of crazy. The tower was half empty when they got there, Maria was organising the move from it to the new Avengers facilities, saying what was going there and what would go to the trash. The original Avengers – for what was left of them – were still living in the tower though, Maria and Thor sleeping in their rooms, Tony visiting everyday, while the Maximoffs, Sam and Vision were already settling in their rooms at the compound.

 

For the next two weeks, Carol and Natasha watched the tower getting emptier and emptier until it was their turn to pack. Even if they had separated rooms, their stuff was all mixed up so they tidied one room then the other instead of each packing what was in their own.

 

It also enabled them to debate on what was going to the compound and what was going to be given to charity. From what Maria told them, the rooms were all smaller than the ones in the towers, but the couple was getting the biggest one – as agreed with Sam. Carol absolutely wanted the piano that Tony put in her room to come, meaning, considering Maria's plans of the room, that she would not have a desk, thing that didn't bother her. They would all get their own office, Carol, Natasha, Maria and Tony, as they kind of were the bosses around the compound, reason why Carol didn't care to not have a desk in the bedroom. Natasha insisted on having hers though, knowing she would do extra hours most of the nights.

 

They still had a lot from the past that was not handled, Hydra members still in the wind, the Red Room and James Barnes, so many cases and so little time to work on them all. And now, Carol and Natasha had to train the new members of the Avengers, to fight, to spy, to be on the terrain in a hostile situation, this would take time.

 

A few days before their official move, Carol and Natasha had the joy to learn that Rhodey was joining the team as well, full time, after Tony pushed him to. Dr. Helen Cho and Dr. Erik Selvig were also hired by Stark Industries, for multiple projects of course, but some were involving the Avengers. With Bruce gone somewhere, the Dr. Cho was the one in charge of everything that was even remotely science, while Selvig was fine to just receive orders and do what he was asked.

 

With her military experience, Carol was in charge of the training, even though Natasha knew she would be the one doing the paperwork most of the time, the blonde hated it whereas her girlfriend liked to stay in her office alone some times. Tony still had to give his seal of approval for anything that someone would want or get in the compound but Maria could also do it when he wasn't there, and considering his plans, she would be signing reports and forms more than him.

 

He still wanted to be around the Avengers, if he was needed he would put on the armour, but he also wanted to be there for Pepper. Carol supposed that, after seeing Clint die, Tony realised how dangerous their job was and he couldn't imagine doing this to Pepper, dying and leaving her alone. He was insanely in love with that one, both Carol and Natasha could see it and were happy for him.

 

During their last night at the tower, Carol and Natasha got the call they had been waiting for days, Laura had given birth to her son, Nathaniel Clinton Barton. They didn't talk much with her, she was exhausted after a two and half hour labour and just wanted to let Natasha know that her godson was there. She promised to send a picture of him as soon as she'd wake up and hung up the call.

 

The rest of the night was hard for them both, Natasha felt guilty to be able to see Nate when Clint didn't get this chance. She cried, Carol holding her, soothing her, until she fell back to sleep.

 

They got up late, nothing to do at the compound other than unpacking their last boxes. Even when they were ready, they waited for Tony to come and close the tower, forever. It felt odd, it was a chapter of their lives that was over, but the next one was promising, even if it was full of unknown.

 

For the first day of everybody being at the compound, they had a big dinner, the entire team eating the amazing meal cooked by a chef hired by Tony for the night. Carol was happy to see that some of the new members were already bonding, Pietro and Sam, Wanda and Vision, Sam and Rhodey, they were all chatting together which was important to create a team spirit.

 

Back in their room, Natasha and Carol still had one box that they had not opened, a small one with all their Polaroids in it. The redhead said she would put them somewhere one day and Carol let her, it always was her thing.

 

The next morning, before the first ever training of the new members of the team, Carol went for a run with two of them, Pietro and Sam. It was quite ironic for Pietro to go jogging when you know how his metabolism works but he insisted to come. The truth was that he wanted to test is speed against Carol's but there was nothing to compare, she was fast when she was flying, on the ground she was quicker than Sam, yes, but had still an average human speed without using her powers.

 

It was a great moment for her to start creating a bond with her team, that was already pretty strong with Sam, but still needed to get thicker with Pietro. He was a nice guy, she could tell, always protecting his sister, checking on how Natasha and Carol were doing, asking if he could be of any help to the people working at the compound. Carol really liked him, he had a great future ahead of him and she would make sure he would be ready for it.

 

After their run, Carol went back to hers and Natasha's room to shower and get ready for the training. When she entered, the door bumped into something and a scream followed. Natasha was hanging on the door, her feet not touching the ground as Carol had pushed away the chair on which she was standing.

 

"Oh, my God! Baby, are you okay!" Carol exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around Natasha to get her back onto terra firma.

 

"Yes, I'm fine," the redhead replied before letting out a sigh of relief as her feet touched the floor, "I was just… putting some pictures up there," she continued with a calmer voice as she looked up and saw Carol's lips, the blonde still holding her so close she could kiss her, "Hey, you," she whispered as she nuzzled her nose.

 

"Hey," The Captain whispered back before pressing a soft kiss on Natasha's lips, "you scared me there."

 

"Sorry, I was just," Natasha nodded at the wall, "finally putting these up."

 

Turning her head, Carol saw a few Polaroids, of her, Natasha and Sam, the newest had been taken when they went to Washington to babysit Cooper and Lila on Natasha's birthday. Then, she looked behind her and discovered an entire wall covered with pictures, in a kind of circular shape with different branches.

 

"Wow baby… this is amazing."

 

Natasha shyly smiled and kissed Carol's cheek before stepping closer to the two walls she decorated, "There, in the centre you have group pictures, the one at the tower when it was still Stark tower, us with Clint and Maria at the bar, Friendsgiving with your Maria too, and then it all goes in circles with individual pictures, me and Tony, you and Thor right there, up above the door is us and Sam."

 

Carol grinned as she observed the way Natasha organised the pictures, and then saw two empty spaces, one above the bathroom door and the other between her piano and Natasha's desk, "And there, what do you want to put?"

 

Natasha looked at the door, "I supposed we'd have pictures with the twins and Vision so I left some space and there," she walked a few steps and ran her fingertips onto the bare wall, "will be all our pictures."

 

"Damn, I didn't realise we needed that much space to fit them all," Carol commented.

 

Natasha joined her, hugging her waist as she rested her head onto her chest, "Actually, I doubt they will all fit," she said with a chuckle.

 

"So we have to choose? But we love them all!"

 

Chuckling, Natasha looked up, "I feel like putting those of us when we were just friends back in the box because, you know, things changed."

 

Carol grinned as she leaned closer to Natasha's mouth, "They really did," she muttered before kissing her lips.

 

They didn't get the chance to go further than chaste kisses, a notification on Natasha's phone stopped them. With a groan, the redhead pulled away and took the device out of her back pocket, a smile suddenly appearing on her lips as she saw that she had received a text from Laura. She didn't even bother to read the few words of the message and instantly pressed play on the video that she sent.

 

And there he was, Nathaniel, his full name written on his clothes. He was in Laura's arms while Cooper was filming and Lila standing beside the newborn and their mother. Staring at the phone, Natasha felt Carol pressing her lips on her temple, she couldn't stop herself from lightening the atmosphere as she started to think about Clint, "Fat," she simply said and Carol immediately burst into laughters, "he is, don't you think?" Natasha asked seriously.

 

"You're right but that's not something you say about a baby," the blonde replied as she wiped her tears of amusement.

 

"I doubt he will know I ever said that."

 

"God, I love you," Carol said with a giggle.

 

After putting her phone back in her pocket, Natasha stood proud before Carol and replied, "I love you too, so much."

 

It was still odd somehow, hearing this coming from Natasha. Carol would get used to it, quickly, but for the moment she could still not stop herself from grinning when she said it. Returning the smile, Natasha slipped her hand in the back of Carol's neck and pulled her into a kiss.

 

The situation quickly escalated when Carol teased Natasha's lips with her tongue. The redhead gently pushed her against the wall behind her, between the door and the piano, Carol gasping as she felt Natasha's hands roaming all over her torso.

 

"Babe," she breathed, "I gotta shower."

 

With a groan, Natasha grasped Carol's soaked-with-sweat tank top and pulled her to the bathroom. On the way, they stripped out of their clothes and ended up in the shower, bodies pressed together as the water ran onto them. If it wasn't for their new obligations, they would have done more than making out, but they had to be in the hangar very soon and Carol still had to say goodbye to Thor who was leaving today, Natasha had already done it the evening before.

 

They reluctantly stopped kissing and used the shower for what it was made, showering. Carol quickly got out, put on her suit and went to the living area, where she knew would be Thor and Tony.

 

She ran into them on the way there, Thor with Mjolnir in his hand and wearing his Asgardian outfit.

 

"Carol!" greeted the God of thunder, "Glad you could make it."

 

"Sorry I had things to do," she said as she joined them and matched their pace.

 

"Things being your girlfriend," Tony commented and instantly regretted it as Carol stopped and glared at him, "Right! Bad joke."

 

"I'm gonna miss these little talks of ours," Thor told them as he patted Tony's shoulder.

 

"Not if you don't leave," Tony wisely pointed out.

 

Thor started walking again, "I have no choice. The mind Stone is the forth of the Infinity Stones to show up in the last few years, it's not a coincidence. Some has been playing an intricate game and has made pawns of us and once all these pieces are in position-"

 

"Triple Yahtzee?" Tony asked as he put on his glasses.

 

"If I had known the Tesseract was more than a cube I would have hidden it somewhere in 1995 myself, we wouldn't be there today," Carol muttered.

 

"Well, somehow I'm glad that you didn't, Cap!"

 

Both Thor and Carol turned to Tony with raised eyebrows and wide eyes, "Tony? Are you saying you are happy to have me as your friend?"

 

He chuckled, "Okay, don't make such a big deal out of it. And may I remind you that if it wasn't for the attack on New York with our big boy's brother and the Tesseract you wouldn't have met your girl."

 

"All right! I'm going to let you two bicker and I will try to find who is behind this and what is their plan," Thor concluded as he took a few steps forward before turning to his team mates and friends and lifted Mjolnir. A second later, a large beam of rainbow light appeared and pulled him off of the ground, leaving a burning geometrical mark where he stood.

 

"That man has no regard for lawn maintenance," Tony commented ironically, "I'm gonna miss him though, and you gonna miss me."

 

"I will but I know very well that you will still be around a lot or you will miss me too much," Carol replied with a laughter, "Really though, I'm happy for you and Pepper, it's great that you take time to be with her."

 

"Yeah, after seeing Clint's family and everything that happened recently it felt like the right thing to do," Tony said as he got into his Audi, "and you Cap? You were pretty vocal about wanting to settle down, what changed?"

 

Carol took a deep breath as she thought and sighed, "So much actually… I realised that we can't let the planet without anyone to defend it and as long as the newbies aren't trained, Natasha and I can't leave."

 

"But you are staying there, right? On Earth I mean."

 

"Definitely!" Carol exclaimed, "Earth might be very different from every other planet in the universe but it's always the place I come back to, I might as well stay there."

 

"And you also have a girlfriend from round here."

 

"That being the major reason why I'm staying," she giggled before tapping to roof of Tony's car, "I'll see you soon right? Be safe, Tony."

 

"You too, Cap."

 


 

Waiting for Carol to start the first training of the new members of the Avengers, Natasha stood motionless in the middle of the corridor and stared at her phone, watching the video of Nate on loop. Despite being fat, this kid was adorable and the spitting image of his father.

 

Hearing footsteps, Natasha put her phone in the back pocket of her suit and turned her face to the sound, her smile quickly fading when she saw that the person making their way to her was Nick and not Carol.

 

"One of our tech boys flagged this," he began as he joined her, "Splashed down in the Banda sea, could be the Quinjet," he added and showed her the radar on a tablet, "but with Stark's stealth tech we still can't track the damn thing."

 

"Well, if he wants to come back I'm sure he will," Natasha replied as she folded her arms.

 

Nick responded with a nod and was about to leave when Natasha called him out, "Nick, I've been meaning to ask…" she muttered and looked up at him, "when you called Carol and asked her to lead the Avengers, why did you decided to give her my entire file? Did you know what was going to happen then?"

 

Nick let out a breathy laugh, "As in did I know you two would end up together? No, I didn't. However, I never doubted you would get along, I just didn't know how much. And, for the record, I don't think that having your entire file or not would have changed the way Carol saw you when you first met, she was intrigued the moment she saw your picture, what was on these papers were just details that you would have told her anyway."

 

After a sigh, Natasha smiled, "You're probably right."

 

"She fell in love with the person you are now, Natasha, how you got there doesn't change anything," he concluded and walked back to the compound's head quarters.

 

Natasha never doubted that Carol loved her for who she was nor did she think she could be scared of her past, she just wondered why Nick trusted her with such informations, that only him and Maria Hill ever read. She was glad he did in the end, that way she didn't have to tell Carol all those things, she already knew her past and she would only have to explain or give more details, but not relive them all.

 

Lost in her thoughts, Natasha barely felt the pair of hands sliding on her waist and slightly jumped when Carol tightened her hold around her, "You ready baby?" the blonde asked before pressing a kiss on Natasha's hairline.

 

Lightly laughing, Natasha turned in Carol's arms and playfully nuzzled Carol's nose, "I am," she whispered, a smile on her lips, "but you better not call me baby in front of them."

 

"You really think I can't be professional?" Carol asked but didn't even let Natasha reply, her lips on the redhead's preventing her to speak.

 

As hard as it was, Natasha quickly pulled away, "See, that is also something you can't do in the middle of the compound."

 

With a groan, Carol stole one last kiss and walked in direction of the hangar, "We are the boss, I should be allowed to kiss you whenever I want."

 

"Officially you are," Natasha pointed out, "It's just not very professional yet you claim to be."

 

Carol bit her lips to not laugh and stopped in front of the door to gather herself and not look like a fool in front of her team. After a dozen of seconds, she and Natasha stepped in, Carol instantly letting out the first words that came to her mind, "Rhodey, Wanda, Pietro, Vision, Sam… You guys are the future, another generation of heroes. You are willing to defend Earth at all cost. To potentially give your life, like Clint did, to protect the civilians. You are a team now, you must trust one another in order to be better, to make your job easier. You… are the New Avengers."

Notes:

I won't be posting a chapter next week and maybe neither will I the week after (update about that on Twitter @Amandjnx). I've been a bit struggling to write lately so I lost some chapters that I had written in advance and I'd like to get them back so hopefully this week (two weeks?) of break will help. I'll still read and answer to your comments.

I'm curious to know what you think is next for the rest of the fic, please tell me your thoughts in the comments.

Chapter 40: Powers

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Carol should be excited, she was going to spend the day with Natasha and Tony, his first time back at the compound since the new Avengers training began. They were going to test her powers, finally, which would hopefully explain why she could make energy shields some times and why seeing Natasha being threatened made her stronger.

 

She had thought a lot about this second point, it must be because of her emotions, like Yon-Rogg used to tell her, her feelings for Natasha made her more powerful. But that was not really a good thing, especially if she ever needed this kind of strength during a fight but couldn't find it in her without Natasha around her. There would be a lot of tests, she would have to train, a lot, to master these abilities and that was the problem, she didn't have time to train with all her obligations.

 

It had been a month since the first day of training and their schedule was only getting fuller, they went from two days off to one and even on these Sundays Carol was busy with personal stuff. She and Sam were working together to find James Barnes, they were still after him and even if they found nothing the days were still exhausting.

 

On the training days, Carol would go for a morning run, Natasha some times accompanying her, before going to the field with the team for different exercises. The afternoon, they were separated in two groups, Carol taking with her the ones with powers for them to master their different abilities and understand the depths of them while Natasha was teaching spying techniques to Sam and Rhodey. Pietro was often joining the redhead's team, he hated being reminded that his powers weren't as great as his sister's or Vision's and rather train with the guys.

 

After these days, Carol went to the gym or the swimming pool that they now had in the compound while Natasha would practice classic dancing. The evenings were always the same, the couple sharing a shower, the only moment they had for themselves alone since the gym was often crowded, and then they had dinner in their room and they went to bed early.

 

This Sunday though, Sam was working alone on their missing person case so Carol, Natasha and Tony could work on the Captain's powers. She woke up in this still new room with Natasha beside her, the red haired woman snuggled to her side, a curly strand floating every time she exhaled.

 

Watching her princess sleeping, Carol thought about the time she was hurt, when the Winter soldier shot her and how she suddenly forgot her pain to take care of her. That was something she never understood, how did she healed up all of a sudden? It might have been just adrenaline, after all she was still half human, her body produced this kind of hormones so it would be the most logical answer, even though she didn't know it had so much impact on a body. Seeing Natasha hurt, that was something Carol never wanted to witness again, the pain in her eyes, the way she was trying to hide that it hurt, it was unbearable.

 

As she thought of more joyful memories, Natasha slowly started to wake up. As usual, she clutched Carol's top and hid her face in her neck, not ready to get out of bed even if it was the moment. Carol never forced her awaking process, she knew it would mean having a grumpy girlfriend all day if she didn't let her go at her speed.

 

But since she knew what was planned for the day, Natasha got her face out of Carol's neck quickly, too fast for the blonde who was way too nervous about this whole testing day.

 

"Hey моя," the redhead mumbled as she leaned in and planted a kiss on Carol's cheek, her eyes still closed, "How do you feel about today?" she asked as she opened them, as if she felt Carol's nervousness.

 

"I don't know, I guess I'll feel better when we get to it, I really hate not knowing what Tony has in mind to figure this all out," she explained.

 

Natasha let out a nervous chuckle before burying her face into Carol's neck again. She knew all about Tony's plan for these tests, they made them together. It started at the tower, the two of them chatted about Carol and her powers and began the process of creating something that would give them realistic results. Then, they only went back to prepare it after Ultron and everything that happened because of it, leading to this day.

 

The reason why she never mentioned it to Carol was because she knew that the moment the blonde would hear about it she would harass her girlfriend until she would give her more details and Natasha was really bad when it came to keeping a secret from Carol. So instead she lied, she hated to but there was no other way, if Carol knew what would happen the test would be biased.

 

To make her forget about this upcoming experiment, Natasha decided to distract Carol with quite aggressive kisses, first on her neck and then upward on her cheeks and jaw. The Captain started to giggle as her girlfriend's kisses tickled her sensible skin, the red haired woman pressing her lips on every ounce of her epidermis.

 

"Baby!" Carol laughed, "Stop! We have to get breakfast."

 

Natasha didn't want this moment to end, she was having too much fun and Carol seemed to be less tensed already. It was their day off after all and Tony wasn't expected until two PM, they had five hours ahead of them to enjoy each other's company.

 

In the end, they spent the rest of the morning in bed, from cuddling to making out to cuddling again, and got out of their room after a quick shower to eat lunch. Carol was distracted most of the time, too busy kissing her lover to think about what was coming.

 

They ran into Maria in the kitchen, for the second time since they officially moved in, the dark haired woman being quite occupied as she had to orchestrate everything that was happening in the compound. Sam and Pietro were also there, chatting about some basketball teams.

 

They went back to their room before joining Tony for a wardrobe change. Carol didn't know anything about the tests – and Natasha had to pretend the same – but she supposed she would have to use her powers a lot, which meant sweating, so she got into a pair of leggings and a tank top.

 

Natasha had asked FRIDAY, the compound's AI, to warn them when Tony would arrive. Meanwhile, the couple lied down on their bed for more cuddles, Natasha holding Carol against her chest as the latter was getting more and more anxious.

 

When FRIDAY notified them of Tony's arrival, Carol suddenly got up, "All right, let's fucking do this."

 

She didn't even waited for Natasha who had to ran to catch up as they made their way to Tony's lab. Neither one of them had ever set foot in it and, when they entered, they were both very surprised to find an empty room.

 

"Cap! Nat! Good to see you," Tony exclaimed from behind them before he joined them and greeted them with hugs, "Ready?" he asked the blonde.

 

"Yep!" Carol said with confidence.

 

"All right! So, first of all, we are going to test the power of your photon blasts depending on the situation using these," Tony began as he handed Carol virtual reality glasses, that he had somehow been hiding in his back, "you'll be in different scenarios, like in combat and all and we will see if that affects the way you use your powers."

 

"Okay but I'm doing this here? In this empty room?"

 

"I'm glad you asked because this room is far from being empty. You see, there are hundreds of energy sensors on these walls and thanks to them I'll be able to see how much energy you shoot at every blast, my computer will rank them depending on their potency and the scenario that you are in. So basically if your strongest blast is when you see me I'll be offended."

 

Carol let out a very needed loud laugh. She was still very nervous about this experiment and, for once, Tony and his humour were welcomed to calm her, "Okay, anything else I should know?"

 

"Yes! These walls are pretty much indestructible so you can just… fire away. And the room adapts a little to the scenarios so you can touch the walls and doors and you'll feel them, sort of."

 

"Also I'm here for you if you need me," Natasha added with a smile.

 

"Yeah, Red will tell me when to get you out if she thinks you need to. Just talk to her about what's around you, what you feel, it might help us understand how your brain works and how it affects your powers."

 

"Okay then," Carol breathed as she took the glasses from Tony's hands and put them on her head, "Let's do this."

 

Natasha followed Tony out of the room and inside the next door. It looked like a normal control room with multiple screens showing the inside of the room Carol was, from different angles, and a bigger screen on the left with variables, energy units of measurement, for now preceded by zeros.

 

"Put that on," Tony told Natasha as he pointed at a headset, "you're going to talk to her thanks to that. When the test begin, don't ask her questions, she has to come to you, okay?"

 

Natasha just nodded as she put the headset on but quickly felt Tony's gaze on her and therefore turned her head, "What is it, Tony?"

 

"Are you sure you can handle this? You know the scenarios she's gonna be in, it will be hard for her and you are her girlfriend, I know you care about her well being and she won't be well at all."

 

"I'm sure Tony. As you said, we created the scenarios together, I know she can handle them," Natasha assured.

 

Tony didn't seem quite convinced but he still got the computer ready for the first scenario, "Alright then, tell her we are starting."

 

After a short breath, Natasha unmuted the microphone of her headset, "Carol, can you hear me?"

 

"Perfectly."

 

"Okay great. We are about to start, are you ready?"

 

"Always am."

 

These were the only words Tony needed to start the first scenario and only there Natasha noticed that he had put headphones of his own so he could hear Carol too. On the biggest screen in front of Tony was what Carol was seeing, the first scenario, the simplest of them all.

 

Natasha and Tony exchanged a lot about these scenarios through phone calls, the redhead telling Tony things she thought would trigger Carol, but not things too personal of course, she would never tell her secrets to anyone. There were four of them, each one harder than the one before, made to force Carol into using her full potential. Natasha didn't know about the virtual reality part until the very end, the last call she had with Tony. He explained that he coded all the scenarios to make it all more real, that way Carol would really believe she was in them and wouldn't restrain herself from using her powers.

 

This first scenario was a classic take the HYDRA base mission, except that Carol was alone against dozens of enemies. It wasn't a hard one yet Carol was barely moving, she was – in the virtual reality world – hiding behind a barrel, taking informations on the people around.

 

After a long minute, she spoke up, "So what," she said quietly, "I just kill them all? Is there a mission somewhere?"

 

Natasha shared a gaze with Tony before answering, "Yes, kill them all. And um-" she paused and waited for Tony's approval to give her some more advices, knowing the scenarios that were coming, "if there is another mission you will know it."

 

Carol nodded before standing up with both her fists rose and started blasting the men around her. There was something sexy about Carol destroying toxic masculinity, even if it was just all fake, her confidence in herself was as inspiring for Natasha as it was turning her on.

 

Within half a minute, she had killed them all, which gave Tony the first numbers for the test. He was going to base the next tests on these, that were supposed to be her weakest ones.

 

"You did great baby, the next scenario is coming."

 

Tony grimaced at the pet name as he prepared the computer for the second scenario. Natasha found it funny that he didn't like hearing this kind of words when she knew he was exactly like that with Pepper, maybe even worse.

 

Without warning, Tony pressed enter on his keyboard and Carol was suddenly back against Loki in Germany. Natasha knew that Carol hated that she had been forced to not use her powers during the whole attack on New York, she should have been allowed to do it, she shouldn't have listened to Nick but the past could not be changed. This scenario would channel some of Carol's frustration as well as her guilt, two points that should make her angry and therefore using her powers differently than with the first.

 

As expected, Carol quickly frowned at the sight of Thor's brother and, before he could even begin his speech about the human race, Carol blasted him for at least five seconds which sent him flying in the wall of the building behind him. She slowly approached him, the God of Mischiefs heavily panting and, as she reached his level, she clenched her fist and blasted him again, right in the face, Tony instantly ending the simulation as he knew by the power of the blast that this fake Loki had died.

 

The hypothesis of Carol's powers being driven by her emotions seemed to be a good one but this only test could not confirm it yet. They needed more data to come to a conclusion and that was the last two scenarios' objectives.

 

Without any transition, Tony played the third scenario, Carol gasping as she found herself in a spaceship, "A warning could have been nice," she said as she hid in a corner.

 

When she didn't get an answer, Carol supposed there was nothing special she needed to know and started looking for her mission. It felt odd to be in a spaceship again, even if it wasn't a real one. Just the fact that she could see the immensity of space through the windows brought up so many happy memories of the last time she flew in a ship with her friends. She would be lying if she said she didn't miss it, space was great, she was free when she was flying around, but having something more settled, a life with someone, was better than this freedom.

 

Wandering around the corridors, Carol began to wonder what she must do for this scenario. But, at a corner, she heard footsteps and hid in an alcove to spy on the people passing by. At first, she couldn't understand what they were saying, but as they got closer their voices got clearer and she instantly recognised one of them, "Tell the team to be ready, I want Talos and his little rebellion extinct as soon as possible. They've been playing us for too long."

 

Yon-Rogg, the man who abducted Carol, who tried to control her, to use her as a weapon, he was going after the Skrulls, after Talos. Carol's blood boiled, she couldn't let him win the war the Kree started so many years ago against the Skrulls, they were peaceful people and the Kree's hatred for them was unjustified. Even if they had not been her friends, Carol would have wanted to help them, just like she did with many other civilizations that had been threatened by the Kree in the past.

 

When she was sure Yon-Rogg and his lieutenant had passed her, Carol got out of her hiding place and called his name, "Hey man! Long time no see," she exclaimed, her fists already shining.

 

The Kree turned around, his features instantly changing as he saw her, "Vers."

 

This was enough for Carol to let go of the little self control she had. With both her fists, she blasted Yon-Rogg out of her way, totally ignoring the other Kree with him until she was sure her abductor was dead and then took care of the other ones.

 

She thought the scenario would be done but as an alarm rang in the entire ship she quickly understood that there was more than just Yon-Rogg to fight. Going back in the alcove to cover, Carol heard soldiers running in the corridors, orders shouted throughout the ship. They knew it was her and wanted to capture her, that was all they ever wanted since she humiliated Ronan the Accuser when he tried to wipe Earth out of the solar system.

 

Another group passed by her when Carol decided that there was no point hiding, if she had to kill them all she might as well start now. Turning into her binary form, Carol stepped out of the alcove and caught up with the group of soldier, blasting them all when she was close enough to know they would die.

 

From the control room, Tony and Natasha observed the power of each of Carol's blast, all more powerful than the ones from the first two scenarios. There was something personal in this one, more than in the second. The Kree were Carol's biggest enemy, even if she ended the reign of the Supreme Intelligence a long time ago, she could not destroy an entire race but unfortunately there were always bad people in this civilization. And they were attacking the Skrulls, who were allies of Carol, she often went on missions with them, Talos specifically, saving them was like an act of gratitude.

 

Within ten minutes, Carol had gone through the whole ship and killed every single Kree in it, saving the Skrulls from the incoming attack. As the simulation ended, Carol was heavily panting, she had been in every corner of this giant room and needed a break, "You guys mind if we don't start the last scenario right now?"

 

Natasha was about to answer when Tony took a hold of her wrist, "Maybe we shouldn't give her time, you know what the last scenario is, it's better if she doesn't hear your voice from now on."

 

The redhead hated this situation, lying to Carol, she wasn't supposed to do that to her but Tony had a point, she was involved in the last scenario and couldn't communicate with Carol during it.

 

Once again, Tony didn't warn Carol nor Natasha and played the last scenario, that Natasha dreaded a lot. The reason why she couldn't talk during was because she was a part of it, she was Carol's mission, she must save her.

 

Carol was still sitting on the floor when the environment around her changed, she was suddenly back on Earth, in a cabin in the middle of a wood covered by snow. Frowning, Carol looked around her, through the windows to try and see where she was but it was some common woods with nothing that could help her identify in what was this country.

 

"Um… guys," Carol said as she tried the doorknob and groaned when it didn't open, "what am I supposed to do here?"

 

Natasha wanted to tell her so bad but she couldn't, it would ruin the experiment. She could imagine panic forming in her lovers eyes as she walked around the room, looking for an escape but there was no way out, the way out was in.

 

Carol eventually stopped trying to get out and analysed what was inside, the fake fire that was burning in the fire place, the old books in the bookcase and there she noticed the spider web that was floating with the wind. Intrigued, Carol pushed the bookcase and discovered a secret door.

 

"Well… I guess you won't tell me if I have to go through it or not," she muttered and stepped inside.

 

She was in a dark staircase, yet she felt under her feet that she was not going down, a nice reminder that everything around her was not real and that if she needed she could just take the VR glasses off. As she reached the bottom of the stairs, Carol heard noises, someone was getting beaten up. Carefully sticking her head out of the door, Carol gasped when she saw a red haired woman tied to a chair with dozens of people around her, taking turns to punch her.

 

"Shit," Carol cursed under her breath as she gathered her thoughts, "there are a lot of people and I can't hurt her… even if she is not the real Natasha, right babe?"

 

Natasha kept her mouth shut, even if she wanted to reassure her girlfriend, she knew it was for the immersion that she had to ignore her questions.

 

"Natasha, come on, I know you are not the woman I see back there."

 

Tony used this as an opportunity to use the recordings he made of Natasha's voice to trigger more of Carol's emotions, to make her forget she was in a simulation.

 

"Carol?" the fake Natasha said, causing the blonde to turn to see her.

 

"Baby, was it you?"

 

Natasha bit her lips, it was so hard for her to not tell Carol that she was okay but it was the goal of the scenario. It was so much for her that, when Carol called her name again, Natasha had to take off her headset.

 

In the virtual world, the fake Natasha continued, "Carol, help me," she cried before receiving a punch.

 

Whether it was actually Natasha or not, Carol couldn't handle to hear more of her pleas, she must save her, that was the last mission. Determined as ever, Carol stepped out of the staircase, her eyes shining with the energy within her and started to fight all the men that were hurting her girlfriend.

 

She blasted some of them but, for the majority, she had to fight them with her bare glowing hands, she couldn't risk to blast Natasha by accident. Her aim was perfect though, whenever she shot at one the photons reached their target, unfortunately it felt like every time she took one man down two more popped out of nowhere.

 

In the control room, Tony was the one sending all these soldiers at the blonde, which Natasha didn't understand, "You have enough now, her blasts her more powerful than every other one, stop it."

 

"No!" Tony shouted, "I want her to do her energy shield."

 

"That was not part of the plan!" Natasha told him as she made her way to the door. She had her hand on the handle when Tony blocked her, "We need to know, Nat."

 

"You know I could just kick your ass and get out right?"

 

Tony smirked, Natasha wanted to punch him, "But you won't because you know that what we are doing is important."

 

Natasha sighed, "I hate you."

 

Going back in front of the screens, Natasha stared at her girlfriend who, from the surveillance cameras, was fighting against the air and retractable walls. She was starting to be overwhelmed by all this men attacking her, she had a hard time handling their number and it was obvious on her face that she was getting tired. Carol was also scared to lose Natasha, even if the image she was seeing was not really her, in her head she might be now, especially since Natasha did not answer to any of her questions.

 

Natasha couldn't bare seeing Carol desperately fighting these fake bad guys, she must get Carol out of this room by any means necessary, even if it meant threatening Tony, "You have to stop this now," she began as she took the gun in her holster and pointed it at Tony, "I am going in there to stop her and if you try to stop me I will shoot you."

 

Seeing the gun in the corner of his eye, Tony gulped and straightened his posture, "You wouldn't shoot me in the head, right?"

 

"I'd do anything for her, Tony, I thought you got that now."

 

There conversation was stopped by a loud scream of distress coming from their headsets. Even if they didn't have them on, Carol's scream was so loud that it felt like she was just behind them. Looking at the camera, Tony and Natasha both witnessed Carol jumping in direction of fake Natasha – that wasn't existing at all in the room, she wasn't even a part of a wall – and when she reached her, in the virtual world, all the energy inside her exploded, creating an energy shield.

 

Tony instantly stopped the simulation and Natasha ran out of the control room and joined Carol who was laying on the floor with the VR glasses still on. When Natasha touched Carol's shoulder, the latter jolted and pushed her away but the moment Natasha spoke up she calmed down, "It's me, моя. Let me help you get this off," she said with a soft tone as her hand carefully reached the straps of the glasses, "There you go."

 

"Natasha," Carol exhaled, her face filled with relief.

 

"Hey baby," Natasha replied as she pulled Carol in her arms, "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you, I had to for the scenario to work."

 

"I know, it's okay," Carol whispered to her ear before hugging tighter, Natasha closing her eyes as the blonde tucked her face in the crook of her neck, "I love you, Carol."

 

"I love you too, baby."

 

"Ugh, you two are disgusting," Tony said as he stepped in the room, "when you'll be done being in love, we have some stuff to see in the control room."

 

They both laughed as they looked back at him, the Iron Man standing on the doorway, waiting for them to get their asses off the floor.

 

"You good?" Natasha asked as she offered her hand to Carol, "Yes," the other woman sighed and took Natasha's hand to get on her feet. The redhead was about to go back to the control room when Carol tugged her hand, pulling her into a soft kiss.

 

"Disgusting!" Tony shouted as they kissed.

 

With a wide smile on their lips, the couple parted and went to the control room for a debrief of this tests.

 

"Before we start, I have to ask," Carol began as they sat on chairs, "How did you get Yon-Rogg's voice and body so right?"

 

"Well…" Tony smirked, "Let's just say Nick kept a lot of things hidden and he still has a lot of contacts."

 

"Right! Still impressive work."

 

"Thanks! I like it when you flatter me," Tony replied and received a glare from Natasha and a light punch in the arm from Carol, "Alright, time to see what you Cap can do with all this energy."

 

After a few clicks, Tony showed different graphics on the big screen and then proceed to explain them, "So, here you have your blasts potency based on the scenarios and, as you can see, they get stronger at every change of scenario, which was the objective we had when we made them with Red."

 

"So I'm totally driven by my emotions, that's what I get from this."

 

"Basically," Tony agreed but the glare he got from Natasha made him clarifying, "it was an hypothesis that we had. It's not a problem though because there are the blasts from the first scenario and they are powerful enough to blow up a house, so still quite effective. The difference is that you spend more of your energy when what's happening is personal to you, or rather you channel it while you fight, which explain your capacity to make those energy shields. When you see Natasha in danger, you want to save her so bad that you use more energy that you need but not all of it gets out in your photon blasts so at some point, you just go boom."

 

"Do you think I could control it?" Carol asked.

 

Tony grimaced, "Honestly it's hard to tell. I guess mastering your emotions would help you to not go boom so suddenly but could you reach a point where you can channel energy on purpose to make an energy shield? That I can't say, it's something you would have to try."

 

"Well then I guess you and Wanda will do this little training session when we are done," Natasha told her girlfriend as she stroked her fingers in her blonde hair.

 

"I'm still amazed that you trusted these kids so quickly," Tony commented, which cause Carol to chuckle, "Second chance, Tony, we all got one and did better."

 

"Okay but they-"

 

"Just don't, okay," Carol cut off, "I know what they did but I also know they didn't mean to help Ultron in his global destruction mission. The moment they discovered it they turned against him, that has to mean they are good."

 

"I still have doubts on that but I trust you Cap, they are your responsibilities."

 

"I know Tony and I think Natasha and I are doing great with that."

 

"We are," Natasha confirmed.

 

"Alright then!" Tony exclaimed as he got up, "I'm gonna send this all to you both, in case you wanna study the numbers on your own. Have fun with Maximoff."

 

"Tony wait!" Carol shouted before he could step out of the room, "About my powers and the fact that I didn't use them in New York but I did in Sokovia, we should make a statement to explain the public who I am and all, don't you think?"

 

"Already did."

 

"What?"

 

"A statement, on the Avengers website, Hill wrote something. Well, of course she didn't say that you didn't use your powers in New York because you were hiding them, she said that you sometimes needed to 'recharge'," he air quoted, "and that happened when Loki happened, but it is pretty clear for the public that you have superpowers and that you are, and I quote again, 'not from around here but that you want to protect the planet more than anything'."

 

"Can you send the article?" Natasha asked, "I want to see what kind of bullshit Maria invented."

 

Tony chuckled, "Sure, it'll be with the statistics."

 

"Right, thanks Tony! Bye!"

 

"Bye Tony," Carol said and he was gone.

 

The graphics were still on the computer screen, Carol wanted to study them but Natasha didn't let her. Before she could stand up, the redhead moved from her chair to Carol's lap and started caressing her face, "You did good today Carol. I know it was hard for you, I almost shot Tony in the head because he didn't want me to join you and tell you I was okay."

 

"It's weird because I knew it was not real but at the same time there was this ounce of doubt inside me and I couldn't get a rid of it, I had to fight even if it wasn't really y- wait! You almost shot him?"

 

"Oh yeah! My gun was pointed at him but hopefully you went all boom on us and he stopped the simulation," Natasha said with a laughter, "the point is, I'm proud of you Carol."

 

Carol grinned, she usually was the one saying this to Natasha but it felt really good to hear it too. She thanked her with a sweet kiss, the redhead smiling as she felt Carol's tongue brushing her lips.

 

"Hey! We'll make out later, we still have to talk with Wanda."

 

"No!" Carol whined, "Making out can't wait," she insisted as she held Natasha's waist with both her arms but the smaller woman still managed to stand up, "You really are a baby, Carol Danvers."

 

"I know," the blonde agreed as she reluctantly followed her girlfriend in direction of Wanda's room.

 

Most of the Sundays, Wanda was hanging out with her brother, walking around the compound or in the street of New York when Natasha took then there. But this weekend, knowing that they were testing Carol's powers, Natasha asked the young heroes to stay inside so Wanda would be available when they'd need her.

 

The couple found the twins in Wanda's room, playing Wii together while Vision was watching them and commenting their moves.

 

"Hey there, New Avengers! I didn't realise there was a team reunion," Carol said, which caused Pietro to jump with surprise.

 

"God, Captain, I didn't hear you coming!"

 

Carol chuckled, "You see, that's what happens when you go through Natasha's spying training, you'll get there one day."

 

"You have indeed impressive skills, Miss Romanoff," Vision said.

 

"Thank you Vision but again, call me Natasha."

 

"Sorry, old habits die hard, or so I've heard."

 

"Alright!" Carol exclaimed, "Vision, Pete, could you please leave us. We have some important matter to discuss with Wanda."

 

"Of course."

 

"I'll be in my room," Pietro told Wanda before kissing her temple.

 

Natasha watched Pietro closing the door behind him before she joined Wanda, who was sitting on the rug on the floor, while Carol sat on the edge of the bed.

 

"You guys seem to get along quite well with Vision, that's great," Carol noted.

 

"Actually I'm pretty sure Pietro pretends to like them because I enjoy spending time with them."

 

"Well, at least he tries, that's nice," Carol concluded.

 

"It is but I believe we are not here to talk about me," Wanda pointed out wisely, "How did the tests go?"

 

"Well… I don't really know, we have data but I didn't get the answers I wanted."

 

"Let's say we will have more tests to do to confirm our hypotheses," Natasha explained as she reached Carol's knee with her hand, "We are still thinking that her emotions have a huge impact on how her powers work."

 

"I understand that."

 

"You do?" Carol asked, surprised but also kind of relieved that someone could understand her.

 

"Yes, it's the same for me with Pietro. Whenever I see him in danger I feel more power within me, I just don't know how to use it. Perhaps it's the same for you, Natasha is threatened and that triggers something in you, something so powerful that you can't control it."

 

"Or maybe you can," Natasha intervened, "maybe you can hold it just long enough to release it at the right moment instead of letting it getting the best of you."

 

"It's probably harder than just trying to hold it though," Wanda said, "we both have pure and raw power, keeping it inside may not be the best thing to do."

 

"It's worth the try though."

 

"Well," Carol said as she got on her feet, "that will be for another day because I'm exhausted."

 

"Next time, if it's possible, I would like to be there, when you do your tests," Wanda demanded.

 

Carol nodded, "I was already planning on that. I also thought to include Vision, since my problem is feelings and that they can easily separate them from their judgement."

 

"I'm sure he would love to help."

 

Natasha and Carol waved at the young witch to say goodbye before leaving her room. They went back to theirs, hand in hand, Natasha whistling one of her favourite songs.

 

"You sound happy," Carol told her as they reached the door.

 

Natasha smiled, "Because I'm whistling?"

 

"Because you've been doing great this week, I can tell you enjoy training, you have fun with the rookies and you have less nightmares."

 

"Because I don't wake you up at night doesn't mean I don't have nightmares, Carol," Natasha explained as she sat on the bed to take her boots off, "and before you start arguing with me, I don't wake you because I can handle it myself. If I ever need you, don't worry, I'll shake your sexy ass until you wake up."

 

With a large smirk, Carol straddled Natasha's lap, the redhead's hands quickly finding her ass, "I like how you talk about my ass," Carol purred in Natasha's ear, causing the redhead to squeeze her ass, "and, for once, we are back here before dinner so maybe we could… you know… make the best out of it?"

 

"I see where you are going, Miss Danvers."

 

Carol giggled, "Um… and do you like it?"

 

In a swift motion, Natasha flipped Carol, the blonde now laying flat on her back with Natasha's hands on her ribs. Slowly, carefully, she slipped her fingers under Carol's shirt, one hand climbing up to caress her breasts and the other going south, inside Carol's pants, "Oh yeah, I really like the idea."

Notes:

I decided that Vision goes by They/He in this fic, if you were wondering.

Chapter 41: Legacy

Chapter Text

For the first time since the arrival of the new members of the Avengers, they were going to have a team meeting. Carol and Natasha asked for it, they had a lot of suggestions and ideas for the team and the other two original Avengers still on Earth agreed with their propositions. They scheduled the meeting the day after they got the green light from Maria, in the afternoon, which meant they would have to push their usual afternoon training to the morning because they couldn't skip any training session.

 

Therefore, they had to be on the field at six thirty for two and a half long hours of physical exercises, as they did everyday since the beginning of the New Avengers training program. Carol was really strict on these exercises, she wanted this team to have good stamina but also, she wanted them to be able to work in the heat of summer or the cold of winter, they were working on the former in this middle of July. Of course, having an android such as Vision and Pietro with his improved metabolism made things harder for the others who only had their human body to pull them onto the track for ten laps.

 

They all didn't understand why they had to do these exercises when they had powers or suits that made them fly or run really fast but Carol always said that it could come in handy and it was also good for their healths. It also gave her the opportunity to have her morning run with Natasha and Wanda, she enjoyed spending time with the young Sokovian even if it was still hard for her to open up.

 

After the exhausting session that the Captain had prepared for them, the new Avengers got a little break before going to their spying lesson. This time, they were all going except Sam, Carol wanted to have a conversation with him and he had followed Natasha's training since the beginning, he could miss one. Wanda and Vision on the other hand were quite inexperienced and had to catch up which meant no more little experimentations for Carol with their powers and hers.

 

After the break, when they all made their way to one of the practise rooms, Carol called Sam and told him he was not going, which surprised him a little. Carol did not give him any more explanations and started wandering around the compound – or so it seemed, she actually had a very good idea of where they were going. They chatted for a while, Carol asking how Sam liked New York and the surrounding of the compound when he went this one time to the big apple with the twins during a weekend – he usually was busy with the Winter Soldier's case on his days off.

 

All her questions were there to distract him from where they were really going, to the armoury where was stored one of the Avengers' most valuable items.

 

"So, Sam, before the meeting I wanted you to know that there will be some official announcements about the new members, you included, that's why I wanted to know how you felt about that."

 

Sam tilted his head as he smirked, "That being?"

 

"Becoming a superhero… full time and to everybody's eyes," Carol clarified.

 

"Uh, It ain't so bad! I get free meals and a room for myself, plus I hang out with my friends so I guess kicking some ass for the people isn't exactly a problem, you know."

 

Carol chuckled, Sam always had this vision of things that made her laugh, but she was still quite serious about this topic, "Yeah but like… how do you want to be called? You know, superhero name?"

 

Sam stopped and leaned against the closest wall as he thought out loud, "Well, the guys from my team called me and my best friend Falcons so… maybe I could honour his memory by being the Falcon or something."

 

Carol didn't see that coming, she had a whole speech ready to convince Sam to take on another name but this one was actually great and to remember his best friend, it wouldn't be fair of her to say no. She was still a hundred percent sure that her choice was the right one, the moment Nick gave her that last mission, she knew who she would choose, it just took more time than she imagined to get Sam to join the Avengers.

 

With a pat of approval on his shoulder, Carol agreed with Sam's choice of name before making her way to a storage room, where were hidden precious weapons and armours. An intrigued Sam followed her inside and gasped lightly when he saw what Carol took in her hand, "I was starting to think that you had lost this thing!" he said jokingly.

 

"I didn't! It was at the tower in the safe and now it's here, but I would like to get it out."

 

"There is a safe in the tower? Like an actually safe like in the banks?"

 

"Of course there is!" Carol exclaimed, "Where do you think Tony hides his money?"

 

Sam laughed loudly as Carol took the shield in her hand. She handed it to him shyly and he only reached it when she grabbed his arm and put it in his hand.

 

"Wait up!" Sam exclaimed as he looked down, "what do you mean you wanna get it out?"

 

"I want it to be used… by you."

 

Sam frowned, "You want me to have it? As a weapon?"

 

"Yes, or as a protection, it's a shield after all," Carol replied with a light giggle at the end of her sentence.

 

Sam took a step backward as he stared at the Vibranium-made weapon, "Wow! That is… a lot to think about."

 

"Listen, I know what you are thinking, it's quite the legacy that you would be carrying with you but Sam… imagine the symbol that you would become, a black man being Captain America, so many kids would look up to you, be inspired by you and-"

 

Sam cut her off, "That's a lot Carol, you know that, right?"

 

"Sam, I am a gay female superhero, of course I know it's a lot on your shoulders but isn't it worth it?"

 

"I don't know, you tell me. How do you deal with it? Being under this kind of pressure, to always have to save everybody?"

 

"Well, I guess it helps that I've been doing this for a long time but it is not the same on Earth, because people are very different. On other planets, me being a lesbian is like," she shrugged, "whatever, you know. But here, there are still so many awful people who make others' lives miserable because of who they love that giving all this LGBTQ teens and kids someone to look for, to show them that they are not alone, that they are seen and supported, is worth the pressure. When Natasha and I run into teenagers and they tell us that thanks to us they felt powerful and strong enough to come out to their family, when I meet a woman who says that she got the courage to ask her boss for the promotion she deserved after seeing me on TV, that is the most rewarding thing ever and it shows that we help people, not just by kicking ass but also by being who we are. Now, I know it's not the same for you, not exactly, but I want you to think about this. You don't have to take the mantle right now, I'm not asking for your answer in the second, I just want you to think about taking the shield in the future, whenever you are ready."

 

"What if I take the shield but still go by the Falcon?" Sam asked with this shit-eating smirk he had when he was being smart.

 

Seeing his face, Carol chuckled before trying to put on a serious face, "You do what you want, I'm just telling you this. You are the one I chose to become the next Captain America, you don't have to take the title but just know that you can, alright?" she told him as she shoved his shoulder.

 

"Okay, I- I'll think about it…" he replied as he put the shield back where Carol took it and then nodded at it, "maybe I should train a little with this Frisbee, if you'll let me have one Sunday a month for myself."

 

"Granted! Now lets go to the kitchen and make some food for the spies-to-be."

 

They went back to the kitchen laughing and joking as Carol and Sam often did when they were together. They didn't have that much opportunities for that recently, they were always training and working, they didn't have time to hang out but they still enjoyed each other's company very much and missed it when they were too busy.

 

Carol and Sam made lunch for the team and Maria who was joining them since she was working in the compound all morning. Tony would join just for the meeting, he had a lot of business to attend to but he did tell to Natasha that he would come to one of the things they planned, a regular support group.

 

Since the only one time it happened at the tower and how surprisingly well it went, Natasha and Carol decided to make it a monthly thing for the entire team, if they wanted to participate. For sure, the first few times would only be with the people who participated to the first group but Carol hoped that Vision would get interested and thanks to them Wanda would too, as well as her brother.

 

The trainees and Natasha walked into the common room at 1 PM, the redhead making a B line to Carol. She pecked her lips before hugging her and told her that the training went well, not having Sam to mess around with Pietro helped a lot for the young man to concentrate.

 

Like a normal meal with the Avengers around the table, it was all loud and filled with laughters, Fury's angels making their best impressions of Tony for Rhodey's biggest amusement while Sam and the Maximoffs talked food, Pietro teasing Sam by saying that what he made was disgusting when he had three plates of the pasta he and Carol cooked.

 

It wasn't until Tony made his entrance that they got up, cleaned the table before going to the meeting room. The air was suddenly heavy around the team as they walked in small groups, those who knew what the meeting was about chatting about how they expected the news to be taken while the others wondered what would be announced. Rhodey even questioned Sam, asking him if Carol told him anything while they were training but he supposed that since he didn't give her a straight answer about the shield, they would not talk about that.

 

It was the first time for the majority of them in this room, only Maria, Tony and Natasha had been there. Nobody really knew where to sit around the table but they quickly found places that seemed to fit, the ones in charge of the Avengers on one side and the New Avengers on the other.

 

"All right people, listen up!" Maria shouted as she clapped her hands to get everybody's attention, "This team meeting has been called by Danvers and Romanoff after they submitted various interesting demands to us," she added and looked at Tony.

 

"I thought they were in charge too," Sam commented.

 

Tony stood up, "They are but so are Hill and I, the four of us are in charge of the Avengers and any demand needs the unanimity to get approved," he explained and sat back on his chair.

 

"Right! So since these are their ideas, they are going to present them to us."

 

Carol stood up, closely followed by Natasha, "Okay! So, we have three announcements today and I suppose we are starting with the best one," the blonde said and looked at her girlfriend who took the floor, "The new members of the team will be allowed to terrain missions after passing a medical exam."

 

It quickly sounded like fair in the meeting room as the New Avengers cheered and expressed their joy to finally being sent on missions after this couple of months of intense training.

 

"Alright, alright!" Carol said to calm them a little, "I know you are excited, you want to kick asses but this might not be the kind of missions you'll be sent first, we still want to test what you've been learning and there are still a lot of things to teach you so there won't be any big missions on most wanted criminal or anything Maximoff and Wilson have been imagining."

 

"We didn't say anything," Pietro grumbled.

 

"I just know you Pete. Now, moving on to something you might enjoy a little less."

 

"I know I didn't like it," Natasha mumbled.

 

"We are going to have a kind of support group meeting every month. It is for everybody, we strongly invite you to come even if it is not mandatory but it helps a lot."

 

"I can testify, it does help," Tony cut off, "I didn't think it would but for once I was wrong and now I'm doing better."

 

"Thanks Tony," Natasha said before looking at a file she had brought with her, "Now, last but not least, the following people will have mandatory therapy sessions with a professional every week until they are cleared out; Carol, Pietro, Wanda, Rhodey, myself, Tony and Sam. Everybody will get their schedule soon, first session in two weeks."

 

"That's basically the whole team!" Pietro exclaimed.

 

Tony stood up and started to protest, "I didn't know I was in the list, how come I didn't know?" he asked.

 

"We sent you a memo, Tony, not our fault that you don't read your emails," Natasha told him with a smirk on her lips.

 

"What if I don't wanna talk to your therapist, huh?" Wanda commented, "I have nothing to say to them."

 

"Everybody stop!" Carol shouted, which shut every mouths, "As Natasha said, this is mandatory until you are cleared out, which means we think you need it but it also means that the faster you start talking the sooner you get the green light. I know therapy can be difficult but you all got to trust me, it works."

 

"And if it doesn't?"

 

"It does, Pietro, and if it turns out that you don't have any problems, you won't have to go anymore, just please cooperate."

 

"And if you don't like your therapist or something, you'll have to go to the Dr. Cho or myself directly to be assigned a new one," Maria said as she joined Natasha and Carol, "that is all for us, but if anybody as a question, feel free to ask it now."

 

The New Avengers shared gazes before shaking their heads no and then were stopped by Vision raising his hand, "If I may ask, what is the purpose of this support group you talked about?"

 

Carol was actually glad he asked, giving more informations about it might motivate Wanda and Pietro more to come, since they were the two people she wanted to see coming at these group meeting, "Well, the idea is that we share things, most of the time traumatic experiences, and talk about it as a group. The one sharing says how it affected them and the others can give advices or share things of their own that they can relate to."

 

"I see, it sounds great," Vision said with a smile as they looked at Wanda, "but I guess I wouldn't be very useful during these meetings, I haven't had any traumatic experience."

 

"That's not a problem, you can still come, participate or not. It's important to note that you don't have to share anything if you don't want to, you can just sit and listen to the others."

 

"Listening to others' problem, I'll pass," Wanda groaned as she stood up and walked away, her brother quickly following her.

 

It seemed that the young man was arguing about going to the support group with his sister but Carol was too far away to hear them and she didn't want to intrude anyway. As Maria told the people that remained around the table that they could go, Carol joined Natasha who was putting the papers for the therapy in a drawer.

 

"They both didn't seem thrilled by the idea," she told her girlfriend as her hands mindlessly found her waist.

 

"I mean, we kinda expected that. Although I think Pete might show up at the support group."

 

Carol scoffed as Natasha turned to face her, "Actually I think Wanda will come because Vision will and since Pete doesn't like 'em very much he might not come."

 

"I forgot they were kids," Natasha commented with a chuckle, "remind me how old they are again?"

 

"They'll be twenty next February."

 

"Shit, I feel so old now."

 

Carol giggled as she kissed Natasha's cheek, "Yeah babe, you're thirty now, basically a grandma."

 

Natasha pulled out of the embrace and shoved Carol's shoulder, "What? Fuck you!" she shouted and tried to escape but Carol hold her tight, her face buried in the red locks as she laughed and apologised, "Come on, you know I'm kidding! If you are a grandma I'm basically dead."

 

"That's not possible because I don't allow it," Natasha replied as she hugged Carol back, "you're not dying, ever. Got it?"

 

Carol was about to joke when she felt Natasha's hold tightening and realised her girlfriend was being very serious. After a kiss on her neck and one on her temple, Carol pressed her forehead with Natasha's and whispered, "You are not losing me, baby, I'm not going anywhere."

 

After a sniffle that broke Carol's heart, Natasha leaned in and kissed her with her trembling lips, "I love you so much Carol," she murmured as they parted.

 

"I love you too baby."

 

Natasha slightly nodded before throwing herself back into Carol's arms, her face as usual buried in the crook of her neck as she cried a few silent tears. Looking around, Carol noticed that everybody had already left the room, which gave them more intimacy and time to hug until Natasha would feel better.

 

It was always so surprising when Natasha suddenly felt emotional like this, it happened a lot in the past but Carol was still not used to it. She knew the redhead was scared to lose Carol, in battle or anywhere else, but the thought of it must be constant in her head for her to be so emotional every time they talked about it.

 

When after long minutes Natasha was still holding onto Carol, the blonde let her hand slide down her girlfriend's body and reached her hands. As she entwined her fingers with Natasha's, Carol softly kissed Natasha's forehead before whispering, "Let's go back to our room, okay? We can cuddle before dinner and work after, what do you think?"

 

"Sounds good," Natasha shyly replied as she pulled out of the hug.

 

Back in their room, Carol led her girlfriend to the bed, lied down on it and invited Natasha to lay on top of her. Knowing that the redhead would quickly fall asleep in this position, Carol didn't wait to tell her something that had been on her mind for a few days.

 

"You know, I'm really proud of you for finally trying to see a therapist. I really think it's what you need to heal."

 

"Well, everything that you proposed to help me worked so it seemed logical to give it a shot. What's the name again?"

 

"Dr. Wittayer, I believe it's German."

 

"Sounds like an efficient therapist to me."

 

Carol smiled, "It's good that you see it like this, I hope she will be good for you and Wanda."

 

"I hope Wanda will open up to her."

 

Carol hummed, she knew it would be hard for the young woman to do so, she already struggled to trust other people than her brother so talking to a stranger about her deepest traumas would be challenging.

 

For the rest of the afternoon, Carol read a book while Natasha rested. At dinner time, they met with Sam and Maria in the kitchen and ate what the Falcon had made for whoever wanted to try. They talked a bit about what was said at the meeting, their hopes for the support group, until Wanda and Pietro entered the kitchen. They all knew the twins weren't thrilled by the idea, even less so by the mandatory therapy, therefore Carol changed the subject and talked about a potential short pause in the training at the end of the summer. This news made Sam and Pietro smile, but Wanda didn't react, she barely even spoke for the entire meal, which worried the blonde a bit.

 

Wanda left the table before all the others finished eating, she didn't even wait for her brother. Carol murmured a few words to Natasha about it but the latter told her to leave her alone.

 

They all headed back to their respective rooms after dinner, the couple sharing a shower before working on some of the reports they had to finish. Carol worked on hers sitting on the bed with her laptop while Natasha was at her desk, groaning every two minutes because of all the work the New Avengers were giving her.

 

After an hour, Carol was done and joined Natasha at her desk. Standing behind her, Carol gently rubbed her girlfriend's tensed shoulders until someone knocked on their door.

 

It was quite late in the evening, the couple didn ' t expect any visit and therefore asked Friday who was behind the door. When the AI said Ms. Maximoff , Carol walked the few stepped that separated her from the door and opened it, " Wanda, hey! "

 

"Hey, can I talk to you guys for a minute?" Wanda asked as she stood on the doorway.

 

With a smile, Carol opened the door wider to let her enter and went to lean against Natasha's desk as the young woman stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. Natasha took the time to finish what she was doing on her computer, which left Wanda and Carol in an odd silence as they stared at each other.

 

Only when she was done and turned around on her chair did Wanda started talking, "Okay, so I wanted to apologise for a few things, first of all for how I reacted about the therapy thing early."

 

"It's fine, Wanda," Natasha said, "we know that it's not always easy to talk to someone like that. Hell, even I am scared of what they might conclude of my situation but in the end it will help."

 

"I know and that's why I'm here, I'm grateful that you set this up, it's great that you take care of your team like that. You guys have been so nice to me and I didn't even make the effort to apologies for what I did to you, in the boat… I heard it messed up your minds a lot."

 

Carol scoffed, " Yeah, you could say that! But honestly Wanda, everything is good, we fully trust you and accept your apology. "

 

"Thank you, I needed to hear that."

 

"You know you can come to us whenever you want if you feel like talking, we are there for you," Natasha told her as she stood up and patted her shoulder.

 

"I will keep that in mind," the young woman replied as she made her way to the door, "Thank you again."

 

"You're welcome. Good night Wanda."

 

As Wanda closed the door behind her, the couple shared an intrigued gaze and went to their bed, "That was… unexpected," Natasha began.

 

"If I had to guess I'd say she talked with Vision and they gave her good advices."

 

Natasha nodded in agreement, "He does have a good influence on her, kinda like you with me."

 

"But they aren't dating yet."

 

"They could be best friends, Carol, like Clint and I."

 

"You're gay, Natasha," Carol wisely pointed out but her smile quickly left her face.

 

Natasha was looking down at her hands and suddenly got on her feet, eyes wandering around the room, looking for something. Carol knew right away what she wanted and opened the first drawer of Natasha's nightstand, where were some of her jewellery, including her arrow necklace.

 

"Baby," the blonde called out as she showed it to her, "Come here."

 

Natasha's features all relaxed when her sight fell on the necklace in Carol's hand and she hastened to join her so she could put it on.

 

"I haven't worn it since the funeral, it was just too hard to see it everyday."

 

"I know baby," Carol whispered as she held Natasha's waist, "It's okay."

 

One hand on her chest, fingers on the arrow and palm on Carol's dog tag, Natasha relaxed against her girlfriend's body, allowing her to rock her from side to side. They swayed like this for a few minutes, Carol only letting go of Natasha to let her turn around.

 

"How did it go with Sam?" Natasha asked as she wrapped her arms around Carol's neck.

 

The change of subject didn't go unnoticed but Carol knew Natasha did it because she was not ready to talk about Clint, so she played along and told her about Sam, "He said he would think about it, which I understand, it's not a decision I expected him to take just like that. I'm just a bit disappointed by the way he reacted, he didn't seem thrilled or honoured, he is mainly scared of the pressure that it would put on him."

 

"Out of all people, you should understand how pressure feels."

 

"I do, I really do. I just wished he wouldn't be like me."

 

"Well, hopefully he will come around. In the meantime maybe you could relax about the whole shield thing, I know you want to do it right and Sam might not be the right guy but it doesn't mean you won't find him… or them actually, it could be anyone."

 

"You're right," Carol said before lifting Natasha off the floor, "Let's get to bed now, shall we."

Chapter 42: Separated

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

For the first time since she landed on Earth in 2011, Carol had been called by Talos because he and the Skrulls needed her help. She barely had time to say goodbye to her friends before she had to leave, the situation being quite urgent. Hopefully Natasha and Carol did get some time to have a small talk about how would be the next few days while the blonde was putting on her suit and hugged for long minutes before she left.

 

What the redhead didn't expect was to miss Carol the moment she couldn't see her anymore in the sky. Having her girlfriend with her all the time had become so normal – they had not been separated since they got together – that her being away had a giant affect on Natasha. She missed the simplest things. Having Carol behind her when they were brushing their teeth before going to bed, leaning against her chest to ask her for a tighter hug and a kiss on the temple, eating at the same table and being able to reach her hand whenever she'd want to. What she missed the most was to fall asleep in Carol's arms and waking up in the exact same position, in her warmth and scent of coconut. Natasha barely slept the first night. She just couldn't be alone anymore, she was dependent of her girlfriend and couldn't rest when she was away, in too much discomfort and worrying too much about her. Talos did say it was urgent but they weren't in any danger so Natasha shouldn't be concerned, she tried not to be but it was impossible.

 

The worst about it all was that Natasha still had to train the New Avengers on her own. Their objective was to send them on a real mission soon to test their abilities and team spirit, therefore they couldn't fall behind on schedule. She loved this team, they were great and fun but when they wanted to be a pain in her ass, they were the worst and Natasha had a hard time handling them. Hopefully, Vision was civilized while the others were playing like kids. Within five days, Natasha had to fill three incident reports because of Pietro and Sam messing around and getting themselves hurt.

 

Hopefully, today Natasha had her appointment with her therapist. It would be a great way for her to escape from her work obligations, even if she had to keep an earpiece on in case something happened while the New Avengers were guarding the compound – it was one of their new assignments.

 

It was quite ironic that Natasha wanted to go to her therapy session after she tried to avoid going to any therapy at all for years. She had to admit that it helped, a lot actually. Within a month and six sessions, she and her therapist – the Dr. Wittayer – had been talking about a lot of her traumas. She got closure with her Hulk/New York PTSD and the doc helped a lot with her mourning process, though it was still hard for Natasha to talk about Clint without crying.

 

For the rest, her old scares from the Red Room, it was still a work in progress that would most likely take more than just a few sessions to be treated. This afternoon, Natasha knew that they would not work on that. She would have to mention that Carol left and the doc would for sure have many questions about Natasha's feelings on this situation. Her ancient traumas would have to wait.

 

Reaching the office of her therapist, Natasha took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

 

"Good afternoon Natasha," said the doctor Wittayer as she opened the door wide and let the redhead enter.

 

"Good afternoon Roxanne," Natasha replied as she made her way to the couch.

 

Dr. Wittayer went to her seat, took her pen and put her notebook on her lap before starting, "So, how have you been lately?"

 

Natasha lightly chuckled, she had been feeling a lot of things in the past few days and the doc was not ready to hear about it, "Well, Carol left for space after our session last week so you can guess that I'm not at my best."

 

"How so? How does it affect you?"

 

"I um… I didn't sleep the first night, haven't slept a lot during the other nights either and I'm just… not complete anymore, a part of me is missing."

 

"What do you miss the most about her?" Roxanne asked as she wrote a few words on notebook.

 

Natasha smiled as she passed her fingers over the bracelet that she and Carol have since Christmas, "Everything. I miss being able to hug whenever I want. Usually she is always beside me," she paused and looked on the empty space beside her on the couch, "there, on my right, I just have to reach her hand and she'll hold it, I just have to take a step forward and she'll hug me, but right now I can't even talk to her because she is too busy. I only received one text from her in six days and it's killing me."

 

"I knew you would say everything," the doc told Natasha has she showed a page of her notebook where she wrote everything in capital letters and underlined it twice, "but you realise that you explained that you miss her more physically than psychologically, although physical affection is a big part of how she comforts you."

 

"Yeah, her arms around me are the best way to soothe me when I'm upset."

 

"But don't you wish that hugging Carol would just be about being with her and not being about her comforting you?"

 

"I've never wanted anything more, I don't want to be a burden to her."

 

"Are you?" Dr. Wittayer asked without looking up from her notes.

 

Natasha inhaled a shaking breath, "She says that I'm not but I feel that way."

 

"Why is that?"

 

Natasha closed her eyes as she reached for Carol's dog tags around her neck to comfort herself, feeling the tears getting closer and closer to falling, "Because I'm fucked up, I'm a mess and she has to deal with it every nights and days."

 

"It is really interesting that you say that because when I talked to Carol about you the other time she said a lot of things. None of them were about you being a burden to her though, yet we talked for more than an hour," the doctor told Natasha and sat up, "she told me so many things, mostly about you being super badass and a better fighter than her- which was hard for her to admit by the way. She only praises you, she is extremely proud of everything that you do and if it wasn't for her job she would just be by your side every nights and days as you said. Natasha, this woman is just crazy about you, there isn't anything on Earth, nay, in the whole universe, that would change the way she feels about you. You are not a burden, you are the love of her life and if you want to start feeling better and less guilty about yourself you have to accept that, it's the first step to your recovery."

 

Natasha had stopped holding her tears quickly as her therapist talked. She knew all the things she said but hearing it from someone else, someone that wasn't Carol or one of their team mates and close friends, made it even harder because it was the most obvious truth yet Natasha could not accept it. There was nothing Natasha wanted more than feeling better, she wanted to do better for herself but mostly for Carol, she didn't want to be a burden anymore. But now, the doc said that she was not a burden. Another person was saying that, seeing it, hearing about it when Carol was talking about it, and it made her realise that she wasn't trying to heal for the blonde, it was just for herself.

 

As Natasha reached the box of tissue to blow her nose, Dr. Wittayer closed her notebook and put it down, "What I noticed during our very first session together is that all you do is for her. You say you want to heal for her, to live a normal life with her, but what she wants is for you to get better for your own good. When you say you miss her touches, deep down inside you you feel that way because you know that those are what helps you the most, mentally, which means you do want to heal, you are just doing it the wrong way."

 

Her eyes still wet with tears, Natasha let out a snort, "Yeah, and what is the right way?"

 

"You think she is the reason why you must heal when she is just a tool of your healing process. Don't focus too much on the tool, what you have to understand is that you are the reason why you must heal, no one else is."

 

This just confirmed what Natasha just realised, she was doing all this therapy only for herself. Carol was indeed a very important part of her life, she was helping a lot, but when it came to Natasha's mental health, she could only help her, not heal her, but that was enough. She would not be the reason why Natasha would heal, that she had to do on her own. She and the Dr. Wittayer had been doing great since they started this therapy, added more sessions in Natasha's schedule because it made her feel good to talk to her, and after only a month they had already reached a good point but they had to continue.

 

After a sigh, Natasha took another tissue to wipe the tears off her cheeks, "Do you wanna take a break? We still have time and I know you don't like to cut short our sessions but maybe-"

 

"I'm fine," Natasha cut off and sniffled, "get your notebook back, I'm not done for today."

 

"Okay then-"

 

"Wait!" Natasha exclaimed as she pressed the earpiece she had on, "Sam, what's going on?"

 

"I had a sensor trip but I'm not seeing anything."

 

"Keep me posted."

 

"Aren't you supposed to be in therapy right now?"

 

"Shut up," Natasha said firmly before stopping the communication, "sorry about this, the newbies are doing rounds, part of the training, and one got something… apparently."

 

The doc chuckled, "Well, I'd tell you to go if you are needed but I know you'd say no."

 

"Damn right!"

 

Dr. Wittayer read her notes quickly before speaking up, "So, you said that you received a message from Carol, how did it feel to have news after days without hearing about her?"

 

"It was… oddly frustrating, I would say. She mainly talked about what she's doing up there and just at the end she said that she missed me. It was almost like it wasn't a message from my girlfriend, it was from my co-worker."

 

"You wanted to hear from Carol, not Captain Marvel."

 

"Exactly! Not that I don't care about what she does, I'm genuinely proud of her but I wish I had the chance to really talk to her, to ask her if she was okay, if she had eaten enough and all that. Instead I just received a voice message, she didn't even sound happy to record it… I wish I could've made her laugh…"

 

"So this message wasn't enough?"

 

Natasha sighed, "No… I mean, of course I'm glad that she is all right, relieved even, but it's not the same as a call."

 

Dr. Wittayer wrote something down before continuing, "Are you scared that things might go wrong up there?"

 

"Not really because she said it was not dangerous, urgent yes but she was not called to fight. I'm scared that when she'll be done someone else will ask for her help, and another one, and another one, and I know her, she can't say no. She feels like she owes it to the world to help because of her powers and what she can do with them."

 

"And you think she doesn't?"

 

"Because you are a psychiatrist doesn't mean you are obliged to help every person on this planet with their problems, right?"

 

"Right," the doc replied with a smile.

 

"So why should she? It's not fair all the pressure she has on her shoulders, especially because she didn't ask for these powers, she got them by accident."

 

"Have you two talked about your future together? About what you two want?"

 

"We did. When she had a breakdown in the middle of the Ultron crisis after Wanda messed up with our minds."

 

"I heard about that from Wanda."

 

Natasha raised an eyebrow, "Yeah? What did she say?"

 

Dr. Wittayer chuckled, "You know I can't talk about it with you Natasha, doctor/patient confidentiality."

 

"Right, sorry, what were you saying?"

 

"Well, I guess I wanna know what you two said back then."

 

Natasha opened her mouth to talk but was stopped by Sam in her earpiece, "Natasha, I lost him."

 

Slightly shaking her head as she exhaled a long breath, Natasha made a sign at her therapist to inform her that she was talking to Sam, "That's… inconvenient," she said and sighed again, "You better get me a report about this whole thing before I'm out of my appointment and tell Pete it's his turn for guard duty."

 

"Copy. And, Nat… It's really important to me that Cap never finds out about this."

 

"You're not getting any favour after you let an intruder get away. Sorry Sam, Carol's rules," Natasha told him and took her earpiece off, "Really sorry about this. Carol is usually handling these kind of things when I'm here."

 

"You two make a great team," the doc noted, "you can be proud of yourselves."

 

"I know I'm proud of her, especially since what she said that day," just thinking about this moment, the desperation in Carol's voice, the sadness in her words when she said it would be selfish of her to have a normal life. Natasha still remembered every word of this conversation, "to sum it up, she said she wanted to retire but she can't because of her powers and all the people that would die if she didn't help them. I told her that she had the right to feel that way but also that she could do whatever the fuck she wanted, that her powers weren't all that she was."

 

"She is much more than just her powers to you," Roxanne commented.

 

At that, Natasha smiled, "Her powers are one of the things I hate the most about her. If she was a regular woman like just an ex S.H.I.E.L.D agent, I would have asked her to run away with me after S.H.I.E.L.D went down. These powers are keeping her away from me and, as selfish as it is, I don't want her to be away, I want her with me, everyday."

 

"It sounds to me like you are in love and you are reacting as such. What is interesting though considering one of the first things you mentioned, the trust issues and commitment issues, seemed to be long forgotten already, anything changed since last month?"

 

"I think I told you about these to explain my relationship with her as a whole, these issues being the reasons why I wanted us to hide in the first place."

 

"'People knowing makes it even more real', is what you told me."

 

"Yeah. And that she never really got to know. I mean she did know about my commitment issues since I couldn't get myself to tell her I love you for months but she didn't know it was the real reason why I wanted us to be hidden at the beginning."

 

"The trust issues never were about her though?"

 

"No. I think I trusted Carol the moment I laid eyes on her."

 

Dr. Wittayer smiled, "That's a beautiful thing that you should tell her."

 

"I might, when she gets her ass back in my bed," Natasha giggled.

 

"Fair deal. Now, I want to ask you something, and even if we are short on time I will let you think and give me your answer now otherwise it will be your only thought for the next three days and I don't want it to torment you."

 

"Wow, you're scaring me."

 

"It's not that deep, I just need to know this for our next session. So, with all you said, I wonder if you ever felt scared that Carol might abandon you, like really leave and never come back? Or is it just having her away for many weeks that you are afraid of?"

 

"To be honest, before Carol and I talked about it, I would have said yes to your first question, but today I know that at some point she'd feel too much guilt for being away and she would come back even if people need her. On the other hand, it is a yes for your second question, I don't know how much time I can still bear before losing it, I just miss her so much."

 

Dr. Wittayer wrote a few more words on her notebook before going a few pages back, "I see that we will see each other on the day you told me about, how do you feel about that?"

 

"Really nervous considering that I don't think Carol will be there for me."

 

"You never told her about it?"

 

"She read it in my file, she knows it was the day I was taken but I don't think she connected it with my breakdown from last year and the whole ballet thing the year before."

 

"I already told you it's something really important that she might need to know. You do what you want with it but you have my point of view on it."

 

As she got on her feet, Natasha nodded, "When she'll come back, if I feel good enough, I'll tell her. But no promises."

 

"I'll take it," Dr. Wittayer replied as she opened the door for the redhead, "have a good evening Natasha."

 

"You too Roxanne, bye."

 

As much as she wished to have a nice evening, Natasha knew that she would have to go through Sam's report, Pietro complains about guard duty and considering that Wanda was waiting outside of Dr. Wittayer's office with her I-won't-talk mask on, dinner wouldn't be fun either.

 

As expected, Natasha found Pietro waiting outside of her office when he was supposed to be on the field to guard the compound. Sam was also there, a paper in his hand so Natasha concluded that he had already written his report.

 

"Pietro, you are supposed to be on guard duty," she said firmly and gave Sam a confused gaze.

 

"I know but this morning you said it was at six and then Sam told me I had to take my turn and it was barely four so I just don't under-"

 

"I told Sam to tell you it was your turn," Natasha groaned, "why is it so hard for you to listen to my orders? When it's Carol you happily do it but with me you are a little rebel."

 

"No no, I- I don't mean to be disrespectful," Pietro stammered, "I didn't know the order came from you, I'm sorry."

 

"Well, why don't you go out now and finally take your round."

 

Pietro looked at his feet in shame and muttered, "Copy that, sorry again."

 

He was gone before Natasha could scold him a bit more. She sighed as she unlocked the door of her office and nodded at Sam to tell him to follow her inside.

 

"This kid loves Carol, you can't blame him for challenging your authority," Sam told Natasha with an amused tone.

 

Sitting at her desk, Natasha ignored his comment and extended her arm, asking him to give her his report. She was thankful that Sam had experience and knew how to write a report, if it had been Pietro she would have had to rewrite it entirely.

 

As she read the details, Sam allowed himself to sit on the chair opposite to Natasha's desk and cleared his throat before speaking up, "No news from your girl?"

 

"Nope, nothing more than her voicemail from two days ago," Natasha replied as she signed the report.

 

"Well, she must be quite busy, you know, being in the middle of two civilizations, mediating a peace treaty and all that."

 

"She could find five minutes to call her girlfriend," Natasha said as she handed the report back to Sam, "Get this to Maria, she'll have to do an inventory to find what was stolen, and by she I mean that you will volunteer and tell your team to help. If they say no, tell them to come and complain to me."

 

Sam did this shit eating grin of his, that he used to tease people but right now Natasha was not in the mood for that, "Looks like someone didn't enjoy their therapy session."

 

"Actually I did until you let an intruder go loose and didn't manage to give one goddamn order to a nineteen years old," Natasha replied coldly as she stared daggers at Sam.

 

"Okay, I messed up and I'm sorry about it but maybe you can admit that you are in a mood because Carol is away."

 

"Of course I'm upset because she is away Sam!" Natasha yelled as she got on her feet and slammed her desk, "I can barely handle myself without her anymore, how am I supposed to deal with you all?"

 

Her fist flat against her desk, head bowed, heavy breathing, Natasha didn't notice Sam approaching her until he was beside her, "The answer is, you don't. Let me and Rhodey handle training until Carol comes back, that way you can focus on you and relax."

 

As much as Natasha wanted to let go of her responsibilities, she couldn't say yes to this proposition, "I can't, Sam. You and Rhodey can't be in charge of the New Avengers and be a part of it, you are all equals meaning you can't give orders except if it comes from me or Carol."

 

"Then we'll say that you told us to do it, they won't know it didn't come from you, especially after this afternoon and how you scared Pietro, if I just evoke your name he will do as asked."

 

"Sam-" Natasha objected but he cut her off, "Let's just try for Monday, okay? I'll fill Rhodey in, you tell me what you planned and if it works we can continue until Cap is back. In the meantime, get some rest, try to contact your girl, she can't be always busy."

 

Natasha pinched the bridge of her nose as she thought. She didn't want to give up her responsibilities because she was feeling down but one day to rest would definitely help her feel better, plus they didn't have to keep going after, "Right! Okay for Monday but it means you have to write reports of everything you guys do and if anything bad happens you go straight to Maria, I don't wanna hear about it."

 

"You got it, boss," Sam said joyfully as he made his way to the exit.

 

"Sam wait," Natasha exclaimed before he could leave, "Did Carol asked you to do this for me?"

 

"'Look out for my girl' is what she said."

 

Smiling, Natasha let out a scoff, "Of course she did. Anyway, thanks Sam."

 

He gave her a nodded before stepping out of her office, for real this time.

 

Back at her desk, Natasha turned off her computer before looking at the picture of her and Carol that she had framed. It was one they took during one of their many date nights at the tower, this one taken not long after Carol told Natasha she loves her for the first time. Natasha remembered this date perfectly, Carol had played the piano for most of the evening, the redhead requesting songs so she could dance. They ended up slow dancing on the bed, their favourite song playing on loop from Natasha's phone. Carol eventually took her own phone and set it up to take some pictures while they were dancing, one of them now being framed on Natasha's desk and that remained one of her favourites.

 

After long minutes staring at it, Natasha took the picture and pressed it against her chest as she closed her eyes, "Come back to me soon, любимый."

Notes:

My love- любимый (Lyubimiy)

Chapter 43: Worst becomes best

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Another five days had past and there was still no news from Carol. Natasha was starting to be a bit worried, the blonde had promised to send a new message five days after her first one, it had been an entire week.

 

But more than that, the worst day of Natasha's year had come, the seventh of August, day she was taken by soldiers and brought to the Red Room, day that, every year, triggered the worst in her in many different ways. And of course, her therapist was going to talk about it and ask questions, it was the main cause of her traumas after all and surely one of the keys to heal Natasha, as much as she wanted to keep it buried deep down into her mind.

 

Making her way to the doctor's office in the medical wing of the compound, Natasha imagined every possible question that would be asked to her and all the things she would have to relive as she'd tell them. Natasha really wasn't ready to dive into her past, they barely scratched the surface of it but it was already too much for her, she didn't know if she could survive going deeper.

 

She automatically knocked at the Dr. Wittayer's office and fidgeted with the hem of her sweater as she stared into space. When the doc opened the door, Natasha was so lost in her thoughts that she had to gently shake Natasha's shoulder for her to react.

 

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked as Natasha stepped in her office, barely acknowledging her presence, "Natasha? Are you sure you are up for this? You look… pale."

 

Seating on her usual place on the couch, Natasha slightly looked up as her therapist made her way to her chair and glanced at the window when she matched her gaze, "I just… haven't been feeling good since yesterday."

 

"And why is that?"

 

Natasha lightly scoffed, "You know damn well why."

 

At that, Dr. Wittayer put her notebook down and straightened her posture, "And you know very well that you are the one doing most of the talking here."

 

After a long sigh of irritation, Natasha looked straight at the doc, "I started thinking about what today was and my stomach just… ached. It hasn't stopped since, I feel like I'm gonna throw up so I didn't eat this morning nor at lunch… I just can't do anything today, I woke up and stared at celling until it was time for me to come here."

 

"Do you think that you would have felt differently if Carol was there?"

 

Natasha didn't expect to be asked about Carol and hearing her name just twisted the knife in her very opened wounds. She missed her so much and worried even more since she didn't get any news, but the doc didn't know that, she couldn't be mad about it. Instead, Natasha took a few seconds to gather herself, inhaling deep breaths as she held Carol's dog tag in her hand, "It would have been easier with her. Of course it would still be hard but having her around would have helped a lot."

 

"Would it? Because you still haven't told her about it and-"

 

"I'd tell her," Natasha interrupted, "if she'd been there I would have told her. She deserves to know why I… almost killed myself last year. I lied to her that day and I've been lying ever since and I hate it but it's the worst moment of my life and just thinking about it kills me, telling her will be the hardest thing I'll do in my life."

 

Dr. Wittayer nodded as she wrote things on her notebook but she didn't say anything like she usually did. For a moment Natasha wondered if she expected her to continue but then she remembered that she cut her off and that was a their only rule, when one was talking to other must listen to them. Natasha was getting the silent treatment for that, she had to apologise if she wanted to continue her session, otherwise the doc would remain mute and they would stare at each other until the end of the hour, Natasha heard it happened at least twice with Wanda.

 

"Sorry doc, I didn't mean to stop you," Natasha said with a hesitant voice, hoping it would be enough of an apology.

 

After a quick smile, the doctor looked up, "It's okay, I've had to deal with worst than you, and you cut me off to talk, not to tell me to shut the fuck up."

 

"She said that?" Natasha asked, knowing Dr. Wittayer would understand who she was talking about.

 

The doctor smiled again, "Natasha… the confidentiality thing, remember?"

 

"I know, sorry. I'm just concerned about her."

 

"Well, we are… working at her pace, she talks when she wants to and some times she just… doesn't talk."

 

Natasha scoffed, "I guess I'm the easy one then."

 

"Oh yes, you are. And we should go back to you. I want you to tell me more about this day, what you remember and how it affects you."

 

"How it affects me is so random. It can be physical pain, like today my stomach hurts, I've had severe headaches in the first years after I escaped, I can get awfully emotional like two years ago… Suicidal, that was a first, and except for the last one it starts the day before and lasts days, weeks some times."

 

"What changed last year?"

 

"Carol," Natasha lightly chuckled, "she was there, not physically, but I had this," she added as she showed the dog tag, "she was not with me during the day but she was still there. It's so odd how I remember this day, it's all blurry after I stopped myself from doing it and until Carol arrived but before that, it's all clear."

 

"Could you tell me more?"

 

Natasha sighed, "Yeah, okay um… So I already told you that I woke up from a nightmare that was about them killing the people I care about but there was more. I was back at my home, this house we had close to the woods, and they were there… my parents, and then Carol and Yelena, Tony, Maria, Thor, Clint… and they all got killed and I was taken. It just brought back so much pain that I wanted it to stop. I started with wine but it was just not enough so I thought and dying sounded like the only way, I just didn't know how to do it… I mean of course I know many ways to kill someone therefore myself but I couldn't, something was stopping me and then I felt Carol's tags on my neck and I realised she was it, the reason why I didn't want to die. I wanted her, I want her and I want her to be happy, how can she be happy if I'm dead..."

 

"This might sound contradictory considering what I told you during our previous session but the fact that you know you matter to someone is a really good thing. Carol can be the reason why you want to live but you and only you are the reason why you should want to heal, to live this life in even better conditions with her."

 

"I get that, yeah."

 

"Now, you didn't answer to the first part of my question, what do you remember of that day?"

 

"Not much honestly. One moment I was at home with my parents and the next I was crying while a stranger was taking me away from them, I can't remember how it happened, it just did."

 

"And your first days there?"

 

"I killed a girl, it was the second day. I'm pretty sure we all fought that day and the ones who survived killed their first victim. I remember being cold at night. They gave like four blankets for forty of us, even if the ones who got them shared them, it was not enough. We were on the floor in a cellar, it was damp. We didn't get new clothes for days, didn't shower either, we had the blood of the girls we killed under our nails, barely ate… until they eventually took us to a dorm and there we got warm clothes and blankets, what we needed to wash ourselves but still not much food."

 

"For how long were you down there?"

 

"A few days, maybe a couple of weeks. It was hard to know because there was no window so no sun to know when was the night."

 

"You said that your episodes- if I can call them that way, last days or weeks, just like this first part did when you were taken."

 

Natasha blinked as she realised that Dr. Wittayer had a good point, "Yeah. Do you think it lasts this long because it lasted long the first time?"

 

"I'm not the one who can answer this question, that's something you'll have to think about on your own."

 

"Right, so I have homework!" Natasha joked.

 

"You do," the doctor replied as she laughed too, "I forgot to tell you I have to leave early today, we only have a few minutes left and because today is not your best day and I've made you talk a lot so you don't have to stay until the end."

 

"Really? Thanks Roxanne, I don't know what I'll do with the rest of my day but still, thank you."

 

"No problem. I'll see you next week," the doc said as she walked with Natasha to the door.

 

"See you next week."

 

Natasha made her way straight to her room when she left. As she said, she didn't have anything else to do than laying in bed since Sam and Rhodey were handling the New Avengers training. But, after a few steps, she heard ones that weren't hers and turned around, thinking Dr. Wittayer forgot to tell her someone.

 

"Excuse me, I'm looking for my girlfriend. She is about this height, crazy green eyes and red hair, have you seen her?"

 

Before she knew it, Natasha had thrown herself in the arms of her lover, still processing the fact that she was there, in the flesh. After a gasp of surprise, Carol started giggling as she hugged Natasha, which was and would always be Natasha's favourite sound, her laughters of happiness. They rocked in the middle of the corridor for long minutes, not even talking, until Natasha eventually pulled out and led Carol to their room.

 


 

It felt so good to be back, to breathe Earth's air, to feel the sun on her skin, but there was still something missing, or rather someone. Natasha.

 

The only place where Carol wanted to be was in her bedroom with the redhead in her arms. She was yearning to feel her warmth, to hear her voice, to taste her lips, so much that she almost entered Earth's atmosphere at a too high speed to even see where she was. She wanted to tell everything about what happened up there, how great it was to see Talos after all this time and how hard she worked to get the peace treaty signed between the Skrulls and all their neighbour planets.

 

Carol landed where she knew she was authorized to, Maria had told her that even if she was her, the security system of the compound might not recognise her if she just landed out of the blue therefore she had to land on the field where the New Avengers were training every morning. Not quite sure what time it was, Carol asked Friday, the AI now connected again to her suit since she was at reach of Stark Industries' satellite.

 

The blonde laughed at herself when she got the answer, she could have guessed by how high the sun was in the sky that it was the afternoon, a quarter to three to be precise. Carol didn't waste more time and walked fast in direction of her and Natasha's room, quickly greeting the people she passed by on her way. She only stopped once and it was to give Maria a hug and the brunette gave her a precious information in return.

 

"Your girl is at her therapy session as we speak."

 

After a sincere expression of her gratitude, Carol made her way to the therapist's office and ran into hers, "Well, look who's back!" said the doctor Victoria Odé, an ex military therapist which Carol really learnt to appreciate.

 

"Hey doc, it's nice to see you," Carol said as she shook her hand, "how has Earth been while I was gone?"

 

"Pretty quiet. How was space?"

 

Carol slightly chuckled, "Unexpected and I'd say… eventful, but everything's fine now and I'm back so that's really great."

 

"Did you get the chance to see your partner?"

 

"Nope, not yet. She is in session right now so I'm gonna wait for her to get out."

 

"Is there any chance I could have a session with you today?" Dr. Odé asked, "I know it was a big deal for you to go back to space and I'd like to discuss it with you while it's still fresh in your mind."

 

Carol scratched the back of her head as she thought, "Yeah, sure. I mean, Natasha won't be happy to know that I'll have to go after our reunion but I have to admit that I need to talk about it."

 

"You don't have to come right after she's out! Let's say five PM? That way you have about two hours with her."

 

"That would be great! Thanks doc!" Carol said cheerfully as her therapist walked away.

 

"No problem, Carol. I'll see you later."

 

Walking again in direction of Natasha's therapist's office, Carol heard the sound of a door opening and then a voice that she'd recognise anywhere. Natasha was stepping out of the office and going back to her room, in the opposite direction of where Carol was therefore she didn't see her.

 

Still able to surprise her, Carol walked faster to catch up and the redhead turned around the moment Carol had reached her level, "Excuse me, I'm looking for my girlfriend. She is about that height, crazy green eyes and red hair, have you seen her?"

 

Carol was the one who got surprised as Natasha literally threw herself into her arms. The softness of the gesture made Carol giggle as she hugged back and swayed from side to side.

 

That was it, Carol was home, home was wherever Natasha was.

 

The smaller woman held onto Carol as if her life depended on it for at least five minutes before pulling out of the embrace just to tug her by the hand and to their room. Carol let Natasha lead her there in silence, wondering what would be the first thing she'd do when they would be in private. There were a few options but the one where she ended up naked within a minute somehow sounded like the most plausible but she kept in mind the possibility of Natasha putting on her 'Dr. Romanoff' costume and examining Carol's body for potential injuries – she might end up naked for this too.

 

As they entered their bedroom, Natasha gently pushed Carol inside and locked the door behind her before she closed the gap between hers and Carol's lips. It was their first kiss in about two weeks and this light touch felt like magic. With one single kiss, Carol could tell that Natasha had had a hard time while she was away, that she cried at night but she also was relieved to see her and to know that she was okay.

 

Walking backwards as Natasha pushed her towards the bed, Carol took action and got a rid of the top part of her suit and her tank top at the same time, exposing her abs that Natasha loved so much. The redhead smiled at this view and her hands automatically found their way to the ripped muscles as Carol giggled.

 

"I missed those a lot," Natasha said with a hoarse voice, "and you even more," she added as the back of Carol's knee hit the mattress.

 

Natasha still pushing her prevented her to regain her balance so she sat on the bed and pulled Natasha closer. Standing before Carol, her hands slowly caressing her cheeks, Natasha took a moment to enjoy the perfect face of her lover, her hazelnut eyes that she loved to stare into, her jawline that she could kiss for eternity, her neck that was her safe place.

 

"I don't tell you enough how beautiful you are," she whispered as she straddled Carol's lap, "I should say it more often because you are fucking gorgeous and having you makes me the luckiest person in the whole universe."

 

"Oh! So you have me, huh?" Carol commented, "this means I have you, right? You're mine and I'm yours?"

 

Natasha laughed lightly as she nodded and leaned extremely close to Carol's mouth. Trying to resist Natasha, Carol leaned back and ended up laying on her back with nowhere to escape. Admitting her defeat, she grasped the collar of Natasha's hoodie and crashed her lips on hers. Natasha being in total control in this position, Carol had no other option than to let her lead, which she did with pleasure.

 

One hand on the back of her neck, the other stroking the blonde locks, Natasha kissed her girlfriend with eager, her tongue teasing Carol's who could only moan in response. Carol loved it when Natasha was like that, sort of dominating her, but what she preferred was to show her she was not at her mercy, that she could take back control. But she didn't even get the time to try to kiss back like she did because Natasha left her mouth and started kissing her neck. Knowing she was screwed, Carol surrendered and gave up every little bits of control she had left. Her hands went from Natasha's ass to the back of her neck, she grabbed the fabric of her hoodie and pressed her chest against Natasha's as the smaller woman was sucking on her skin.

 

"God, I missed you so much," Natasha panted as she pulled away.

 

Carol, breathing heavier than the redhead, struggled to open her eyes but eventually managed to. Her gaze fell into waves of emeralds, these eyes that were always saying so much, and at that moment when she thought she would only see love in them, Carol noticed something else, it was hurt, pain.

 

Suddenly concerned, Carol sat up and cupped her girlfriend's cheeks as she analysed her features, "Baby, are you okay?" she asked, trying her best to hide her worry.

 

"Am I okay? Are you kidding, this was the worst day of my life until you came back and made it the best."

 

Carol slightly chuckled but she was still not convinced. There was something wrong about her girlfriend, her skin was pale yet it was the middle of a hot summer and she was wearing a hoodie, "Natasha, it's burning outside and you decided to wear my warmest hoodie. Either you're sick or you like to sweat, and I know the latter isn't true."

 

"I just missed you and this was the first thing that I found. And there's the air condition in there so I'm not hot or anything."

 

"Exactly, you're cold so you went into my winter clothes and took this. Babe, I know it when you are not well and I can tell it's the case. You usually get so hot when we make out but you're shaking right now."

 

As she bowed her head, Natasha sighed. Carol didn't like to be right when it came to Natasha's health, especially when she was guessing that she was sick, but at least now that she was sure of it they could deal with it as a team, "Hey," she said softly as she lifted Natasha's chin, "tell me what's wrong."

 

"I just… woke up and felt bad. I didn't eat much lately and I couldn't really sleep without you either."

 

It hurt Carol to hear that her absence made Natasha suffer but now that she was back, she could help her feel better, "Do you want me to go get you something in the kitchen?"

 

Natasha shook her head, "I'm not hungry, I just want to be with you."

 

Carol's lips twitched into a little smile, "Okay then, what do you think about a little nap?"

 

Matching her smile, Natasha nodded before pressing a kiss on Carol's cheek, "I'd love that."

 

As Natasha went directly under the covers of the bed, Carol made a small detour to the bathroom to take off the bottom part of her suit. When she came back, Natasha was laying on Carol's side of her bed, which made the blonde laugh, "Smells like me?" she asked as she sat beside Natasha.

 

"It did. Now it's just me all over the bed."

 

Carol planted a kiss on top of Natasha's head before making herself comfortable. After some adjustments, she found the perfect position and opened her arms to invite Natasha to lay beside her. As Natasha slipped her arms around Carol's waist, the blonde noticed that she was not holding her as tight as usual, she seemed weak, which was probably due to the non eating and sleeping. Instead of telling her, Carol pulled Natasha closer and held her against her body as she used her powers to warm her up. The redhead didn't even notice that her girlfriend was shining, her eyes were closed and her eyelids too heavy because of the exhaustion.

 

"I'm seeing my therapist at five. Should I wake you if you are still asleep by the time I have to go?" Carol asked even though she doubted she would get an answer.

 

"No, you can go and let me sleep," Natasha mumbled.

 

Carol responded with a kiss on Natasha's temple before closing her own eyes. She needed rest too, for sure not as much as the redhead but her trip to Skrullos had being demanding. She felt a bit guilty that being away from Natasha had not affected her as much as it did for her, but Natasha's sleep had been bad since before she and Carol met whereas Carol's had been fluctuating between good and awful.

 

Carol started to play with Natasha's hair as she fell asleep, her body relaxing and her breathing steadying. At that moment, Carol noted the duality of their couple, Natasha in a hoodie and sweatpants while she was only wearing shorts and a sport bra. They were usually so in sync, it was almost abnormal for them to be like that, but she supposed it was the result of them being apart for eleven days.

 

The fact that Natasha got sick in the middle of summer was what worried Carol the most, was she really sick or was it caused by her anxiety? If she didn't know better, Carol would ask Natasha's therapist for answers, she and Dr. Wittayer had talked for a long time once – not about what Natasha was telling her in sessions – and the blonde really trusted her. Plus, from what Natasha was saying, she really helped her, she got over her Hulk PTSD thanks to her and had high hopes for all her other traumas.

 

But those were the most complex to deal with, they were deep and their origin dated back to her childhood, if what Natasha lived could be considered as such. Carol knew it would take more than just a few sessions to treat those, if they were treatable, but she would be there for Natasha and support her all the way.

 

Feeling that she was about to doze off, Carol reached for Natasha's phone on the nightstand, unlocked it with her fingerprint and set an alarm for ten minutes before her appointment. She got to sleep for a long hour before getting awakened by the soft music she had picked. She quickly turned it off to not wake up the redhead and proceeded to extract herself from the bed, a task quite difficult since she didn't want to disturb her sleep.

 

After a couple minutes, she got out of bed, picked up the top she had thrown away earlier and kissed the cheek of a fast asleep Natasha. Because she didn't get the chance to tell Natasha about her mission in space, Carol was even more excited to go to her therapy session, she would tell the doc everything she did to maintain peace between many alien civilizations.

 

It was exactly five PM when she knocked on her therapist's door before entering, knowing she could do that. The doctor still on her computer, Carol made her way to her usual seat beside the widow and looked at the people outside while she waited.

 

A few minutes later, Dr. Odé joined her, "How was it to see Natasha again?"

 

"So great," Carol replied with a smile, "I missed everything about her, especially her little nose scrunching when she sleeps."

 

"Seeing how crazy about her you are makes me believe in love."

 

"Oh you definitely can!" Carol exclaimed, "I didn't believe in it either before I met Natasha but it really proved me wrong."

 

"I remember you saying your best friend pushed you into opening yourself to love."

 

Talking about Maria didn't hurt as much as it used to. Of course, it was still hard to accept that she would not see her again, or on very rare occasions, but Carol had accepted that she took this decision for her to have the best life possible, "Yeah, she did. Before I even met Natasha, she told me that I never tried to make any of my relationships work- which is true, and that I was wrong for that because it could make me happy and, Hell, it does!"

 

"So your trip to space didn't make you change your mind about the future you want with her, you still plan to retire in a few years to have a normal life?"

 

"If anything this trip confirmed me that it was what I wanted. I had a lot of interrogations before going, as you know, and while I was flying there I was asking myself 'did you really miss flying or not?', 'Is the universe still as interesting as it was?', 'Did I change so much that all this doesn't attract me anymore?' and I guess the answer to that last question is yes because I really didn't miss space that much, flying is great but going from planet to planet isn't my thing anymore, I think."

 

"So what do you want to do from now? With this conclusion, are you and your conscience on the same path? Because it was not really the fact that you did or did not miss space that was a problem but the fact that you have powers that allow you to help people all over the galaxies and that not using them to help would be selfish."

 

Carol grimaced, she didn't like where the doctor was going with her questions but she still answered honestly, "Ugh, I guess I'm still not so fine with that for now but I do believe that the fact that I don't miss space will help me accept that I don't owe the universe to save it."

 

"I know I've asked this a lot but I have to ask again, why do you think you have to help the entire universe?"

 

Carol sighed, she had heard this question at every single session and was honestly tired of it. She didn't know what to answer anymore, she just did feel like she had to. After another sigh, she found an analogy that she supposed would be help picture her thoughts, "Doc, if you could treat every people of the universe and free them of all their problems, would you not do it because it'd take some of your time?"

 

"Well, first of all it depends on how much time it takes and second of all you do not have the abilities to save the entire universe, Carol. You are for sure one of the strongest persons in the whole world and you can help many people but the universe is infinite and there is only one you."

 

"Okay then, let me rephrase it. If you could help a lot of-"

 

"It doesn't change anything, Carol," the doctor interrupted with a firm voice, "being a therapist is my job, I do this for seven hours a day, five days a week, but the rest of the time I am a person with friends and family who I want to see. I know you understand what that means because you too have a family and friends that want to be with you. Being Captain Marvel isn't all that you are, you also are a friend to Sam, Tony, Maria- both of them, Thor, Bruce. You are a mentor to Wanda and Pietro and, first and foremost, you are Natasha's girlfriend, the reason why she is happy."

 

Carol looked away as Dr. Odé paused, everything that she said was right, it really hit her hard and she had a hard time keeping her emotions for herself.

 

"To be honest, I haven't seen Natasha since you left but I talked to Dr. Wittayer and she told me that she was not doing well. You being away is probably one of the worst thing that can happen to her and I know that it affects you a lot too."

 

"You know I feel guilty for having to leave her, right?" Carol suddenly asked, her voice trembling, "I saw it right away when I told her that I had to go, she wanted to cry but she didn't, she stayed strong to encourage me but I knew it would be hard for her and you confirming it is not helping at all."

 

"Carol, I'm not saying that you should never leave her, I'm just explaining to you that you have to find a balance between being Captain Marvel and being just Carol. All those years you've been in space it was mostly to save people, you were just Captain Marvel. Since you came back, you've been much more Carol but you still had to put on that suit some times-"

 

"Because it's my fucking job!" Carol shouted before bursting into tears. Leaning on her elbows, Carol held the back of her head with her hands as the doctor continued, "Exactly, it's your job, it is just your job, Carol. You shouldn't be spending twenty four hours a day doing it."

 

"It's not that simple," she commented under her breath.

 

"I know, it's not some classic job you do, but you still have to find a way to balance it all or it will eat you alive at some point. Now you have Natasha, being with her is what you want, retiring is your goal for the next few years but in the meantime you need to balance it all, Captain Marvel and Carol need to co-exist in harmony."

 

"And how do I do that?" Carol asked aggressively as she sat up.

 

"Well, first I think that, when you are training with the new Avengers, you should be called Captain, because what you do is work, and if you realise that, that you work for a big part of the day, taking some time just for yourself, for Carol, will not feel as guilt-inducing as it does now. And before you say it," the doc interfered, raising a threatening finger as Carol was about to protest, "yes, they are your friends but when you are training them you are their superior."

 

Carol didn't reply anything, she gave herself some time to recover from her earlier emotions. She knew all the doctor said was right and her ideas were good but Carol was still conflicted because of her goddamn powers. Why couldn't she accept what was happening in the universe wasn't her problem? Why couldn't she let go of this idea, of her saving people? It was not like it made her happy to fight and kill people, it became so meaningless to kill for her that it was even wrong how it didn't affect her anymore, but somehow she still felt this obligation inside her.

 

"May I ask you something?" Carol released a long breath before nodding to let her talk, "Before meeting Natasha, did you think you would be flying round space and go where people needed your help until you'd get killed trying or did you ever think of stopping before?"

 

"As far as I remember I don't think it ever came to my mind. I didn't think I would die trying either but until Natasha I didn't think there was anything in my life worth stopping saving the day."

 

"So you are saying that Natasha is worth the life of the people you could save if you were out there?" Dr. Odé asked, her pen ready to write down whatever her answer would be.

 

"Yeah," Carol blurted out. She didn't even have to think about it, she would put Natasha above anything else, she was all that mattered to her, "I can't imagine living in a world if she is not in it. I don't know what I'd do if she… left."

 

"Do you think you'd go back to your old lifestyle?"

 

"No… I'd try to honour her name. Maybe I'd go after the Red Room, she thinks they are still somewhere so I'd find them and destroy them for what they did to her."

 

"Something bothers me then. Why do you hold on to this idea of going back to space if, whether Natasha is there or not, you want to stay on Earth?"

 

"I don't fucking know," Carol cried out as she took her face in her hands, "I want space to be safe."

 

"And it is, you witnessed it, you made sure it was still safe."

 

"I did," Carol mumbled as realisation hit her, "it's safe… and even if it wasn't, saving it is not on me."

 

"It's on no one and definitely not on you," the doctor concluded as she closed her notebook, "I think it was a good idea to have this session today."

 

Carol scoffed, "Yep, good call doc."

 

"All right then, I will see you next week. Now go back to your girlfriend, I'm sure you need to be with her."

 

"You couldn't be more right. Bye doc."

 

Carol stepped out of the office and stood in the middle of the hallway, head down and hands on her hips as she needed a moment to breathe. But, when she rose her head, her eyes met a familiar pair of green irises filled with worry.

 

"You okay, любимый?"

 

She wanted to lie, tell Natasha that she was all right, but she couldn't lie to her. Her eyes filled with tears, she shook her head before pulling Natasha into her arms, "Don't you ever leave me," she warned as she held her tight.

 

"I'm not going anywhere," Natasha whispered to her ear before pulling out of the hug, "I love you, Carol."

 

"I love you too," Carol said against Natasha's lips and kissed them tenderly.

 

"Wanna go make something to eat?" Natasha asked and as Carol didn't reply, she proposed something else, "Wanna go back to our room, cuddle and order Thai?"

 

Carol frenetic nods told her this was the right option. As she slipped her hand into Carol's, Natasha took her phone out of her pocked and asked Friday to order their usual.

 

When she was done, she looked up at Carol who was smiling at her, "Come on baby, tell me how it was up there."

Notes:

My love- любимый (Lyubimiy)

Chapter 44: Cat

Notes:

Hi everybody. I wanted to thank you all for the nice comments, for the new readers and kudos, it really helps me going on in a complicated period of my life. Seeing your kudos and reading your comments makes me smile and I'm really grateful for all of it.

I hope you will enjoy this chapter!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It had been three weeks since Carol came back to Earth and Natasha was still sick. She had highs and lows, some days she felt okay enough to get out of her room and strolled around the compound and on other days she was so sick she couldn't even move. Different doctors employed by Stark Industries came to examine her, they all said that her symptoms all together weren't the sign of any illness. They gave prescriptions for meds that would ease her symptoms but on the worst days they barely worked and Natasha eventually decided to stop taking them.

 

She was still getting up to go to her therapy appointments, the Dr. Wittayer and Carol told her she should stay in bed to rest but the redhead insisted at every session to schedule a next one and used Carol's compassion to get her to help to go there. The appointments had a good affect on Natasha, she generally had a good day after she had been to one but her state always worsened.

 

One day, Carol came back from training and found Natasha rolled up in the bedsheets and blankets. At first, the Captain laughed, thinking her girlfriend was like a giant burrito, but as she approached her and saw her trembling and sweating, the amusement became worry. When she was so cold like this, even Carol's powers were useless, the warmth she brought Natasha not enough for her to stop shaking. The better solution she found was a boiling bath, the water's temperature at the limits of burning her skin but it was what soothed her the best.

 

That day, Carol carried Natasha to the bathroom, helped her out of her clothes, took hers off as well and they both slipped into the bathtub when it was filled. The shaking quickly stopped, it was the worst part because it tensed Natasha's body, made her muscles sore so when she was not trembling anymore, she could relax. Natasha being in the tub, Carol took it as an opportunity to wash her hair, and body, since she rarely had enough energy to shower these days. She also gave her a head and shoulder massage before they stepped out of the tub.

 

Before giving her girlfriend clean clothes, Carol put lotion on her skin, knowing that she loved to take care of her body when she was not ill. Natasha made her way back to bed after she was dressed while Carol went to the kitchen to get them something for dinner, even if she knew Natasha would not eat anything.

 

When she came back, Natasha was back in the burrito position, shaking again, her freshly washed clothes damp with sweat. Carol joined her in bed and held her against her shining body, desperately trying to make her feel comfortable, despite the fact that she knew it didn't work. Natasha still surprised Carol when she reached for a bite of tomato that she struggled to swallow.

 

The only bit of intimate moment they had were when Natasha wanted to cuddle, which happened randomly whether she was in good state or not. That evening, after Carol finished eating, she climbed on top of her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, knowing it would initiate cuddles from the blonde. What Carol preferred was to play with Natasha's curly hair – that was starting to grow out and reached her shoulders – while burying her face in it to smell her shampoo.

 

It was almost midnight when Natasha said her first words of the day, and Carol really didn't she those coming, "The other time I spoke with Roxanne and she said Wanda was not progressing in therapy," she murmured and Carol only heard her because her mouth was close to her ear, "she said some times they don't talk for the whole session and Wanda even told the doc to shut the fuck up once."

 

"Wow," Carol let out in surprise, "I mean, we knew she wouldn't like it but I didn't think she would be aggressive, hopefully it was just verbally."

 

"What's weird is that she didn't request to have another therapist, I asked Maria and she didn't get anything from her."

 

"Because she doesn't really care," Carol assumed, "she doesn't really want to go to therapy, she does because it's mandatory. After all she didn't come to the support group last week, as we thought."

 

"Good point," Natasha mumbled before looking up at her girlfriend, "I still think we should have a meeting about this, with Maria, Tony and the therapists to talk about how it's going for her and Pete."

 

"So just doc Wittayer and Guillo?"

 

"Yeah, I guess. There is no reason to have your doc if we only talk about the Maximoffs, except if you want to talk about your case," Natasha said and smirked.

 

They didn't talk about what was happening to Carol in her sessions, Natasha said some things about hers but Carol never mentioned it. She felt that it was working, especially since the session after her return, she just didn't want to brag about it.

 

"No, I don't. I'll try to organise that tomorrow."

 

"Mkay," Natasha hummed before letting her head fall onto Carol's chest. Her whole body suddenly felt heavier and before Carol could say anything, she had a sleeping – or passed out – girlfriend on top of her, "I'm not even in my PJs…"

 

The following days were better for Natasha, she had a good night of rest on her favourite mattress – Carol – and her appointment with Dr. Wittayer went well. Carol had her therapy session at the same time, that way they were only apart for one hour, and the only thing she could talk about was how hopeless she was about Natasha's health. She wanted to take her to the hospital, if the doctors that she had already seen couldn't find what was wrong with her maybe others could, but Natasha said it was fine, it would pass.

 

Carol also missed working with Natasha, training the Avengers was great but having her beside her made it so much better. They had private jokes, they could chat when they were doing exercises, but without her it was just a joyless job. Dr. Odé said it was a good thing for Carol, now that Carol had implemented the call-me-Captain thing during training, her acknowledging that what she was doing was work and separating it from the rest of her life was a great evolution.

 

After their sessions, Carol accompanied Natasha on her stroll around the compound. There was still this duality between them, Natasha never got out of her room without at least a thin jumper above a shirt while Carol could barely tolerate wearing clothes because of how hot it was outside.

 

The blonde mindlessly walked around, following the lead of her girlfriend who had her habits. As they walked hand in hand, they passed by a storage building at the end of the property and Natasha stopped a few metres after. She looked around for a few minutes, Carol wondering what she was looking for but not asking, and eventually gasped when her sight found a black cat.

 

Carol observed her partner as she bent down and extended her hand in direction of the cat. It shyly walked towards them, Carol squatting too to look less imposing to the wild animal who eventually reached Natasha's hand and started to purr and rub its face against her. Carol also offered her hand and, after carefully sniffing it, the cat got closer, allowing her to pet it.

 

"I've seen this cutie around on my walks," Natasha explained as she sat cross legged on the grass and put the cat on her lap, "she's always somewhere close to this building."

 

"She?"

 

"It's just a guess, I didn't check."

 

"We could adopt her, there is nothing about pets in the compound's rules," Carol proposed as she scratched the cat's neck.

 

"She must be someone's, Carol. Look at her, she is too cute and too well behaved to be a wild cat."

 

Carol hated to admit it but Natasha must be right, this cat was clean, looked healthy and was not scared of people, which was not how wild cat usually were. The couple stayed outside for almost an hour to pet the cat, Carol noticing its eyes similar to hers only after a dozen of minutes. Natasha thought it was still a kitten, maybe she was five or six months old but she was sure she had not reached her adult height and weight.

 

They reluctantly left, only because the sun was starting to disappear behind the treeline. For the rest of their walk, they talked about having a cat one day, perhaps soon but after they'd leave the compound and have their own place. They never really thought about buying an apartment of their own but they figured it would be best to think about it if they wanted to have kids one day.

 

Chatting about normal things like these felt really good for Carol, she didn't need a palpable future to picture herself in retirement but these ideas helped a lot.

 

The next day, during her morning run with Sam, Carol took an unusual route just to see the cat again. As they made their way there, Sam started wondering why they didn't run on the track like they always did, "You scared of a storage building Sam?" Carol mocked as she stopped where she and Natasha did the day prior.

 

"What? No, I just rather run on a path that was made for that, why? Natasha told you something?"

 

Looking back at him, Carol raised her eyebrows, "Is there something she has to tell me?"

 

"No! Nope! Nothing," Sam said, way too fast, there was for sure something behind his reaction and Carol would find out, "So why are we taking this path?"

 

Carol waited until she was sure she had seen right to answer, "For… this little one," she replied as she sat on the ground, one hand extended to attract the cat while she had her phone in the other.

 

"Oh! Hey there," Sam exclaimed as he sat beside Carol.

 

Carol was a bit surprised by the smile on his face, she could have sworn Sam was a dog person, "Natasha has been seeing her on her walks, I thought we could take her in but she said she must be someone's so I wanna make sure of it," she explained as she took a picture of the cat.

 

"Is that for Facebook?" Sam asked.

 

"What?"

 

"Facebook, there are pages for the people who live around here and have pets. If you lose your pet, you post a picture of it and that way if someone finds it they can bring it back. You can also post a picture of a cat you found and ask if it's someone's, if it's not, you keep it."

 

"I was thinking about taking her to a vet but that's good too."

 

"Oh, you better take her to a vet anyway. First of all, they could tell you if she has a chip, that would mean she is someone's, and if you wanna adopt her you'll have to vaccine her for different diseases, especially if she is a wild cat."

 

"Alright then, mister Falcon, would you do me a favour and take her to a vet? I'd love to but I have to be there for training, and it means you are exempted of training this morning, totally worth it."

 

"I'll do you one better," Sam said and took his phone out of his pocket, "I'll take her to the vet and post her picture on Facebook since I know where to do it."

 

Carol took the cat in her arms and stood up, "Thanks Sam! I really think it would be good for Natasha to have her around," she told him and kissed the top of the cat's head before handing her to him, "Also, ask if she is a she, Natasha just guessed it was the case."

 

"Well, it does seem like it," Sam replied with a large grin, "but if it is someone's it could have been sterilised."

 

"Exactly, now go before you make a joke about penises or balls," Carol deadpanned.

 

"Yes Cap!"

 

Carol really wanted this to be a surprise for Natasha. If the cat happened to have an owner, she wouldn't tell her that she tried to know and if they could adopt her, well, she would bring her inside.

 

During training, Carol had her eyes on her phone more than on what the New Avengers minus Sam were doing, waiting for him to give her an updates. He did when Rhodey and Pietro were facing each other in hand to hand combat, telling her that, for now, all the comments on the pictures he posted on Facebook were saying she was cute, but nobody was claiming her. Soon after, he told her that they were out of the vet and the woman didn't find a chip. She also confirmed it was a she who seemed healthy, although she couldn't do any analysis or give her vaccines as long as she wasn't with her owners. Carol was fine with that, she would go back to the vet with Natasha for that when they'd be sure they can adopt her.

 

Sam came back during lunch break, the first lunch break in weeks that Natasha decided to partake. He had the cat in his arms and quickly walked back when he saw her, hopefully she had her back turned to him and couldn't see him. Carol joined him and they went together to the storage building to let her wander in the nature, they couldn't keep her for the time being.

 

"Go baby, I'll see you soon," Carol said as she set her free.

 

In the next few days, Natasha and Carol went on two strolls and Sam joined them so he could see the cat. Natasha was surprised to see that she was going towards Carol and Sam when she saw them, not aware that they spent time with her too. After their second stroll, Sam showed Carol the Facebook posts and they both concluded that this cat was no one's, the comments were only about her cuteness. Carol still wanted to be a hundred percent sure and drove around in the small cities that surrounded the compound, looking for posters of missing cats, she found nothing.

 

The next day, she went on her morning run, alone this time, and looked for the cat. It was the day she would take her to Natasha, it had been a week since Sam posted the pictures on Facebook, the owner – if there was one – had had enough time to manifest themselves. Natasha was not doing so bad when Carol left but she was not in her good days either so she would very much enjoy the company.

 

Carol stopped at the usual spot, looked around to try to find her but she was nowhere to be found. The Captain began to worry, maybe she did have an owner and they took her, it was their right but it would be so disappointing for Carol – and Sam – after everything they did.

 

After ten minutes and still no sign of the cat, Carol sat on the grass and took the collar she bought for her. It was black, that way it would blend in her fur, and inside, she put a tracer as well as hers and Natasha's names and contact details in case she got lost and someone found her.

 

Carol was so sad, she couldn't go back to Natasha with only a collar, she needed the cat and it had to be this one. She was so deep in her thoughts that she barely heard the meow that came from behind her. Then, she looked back and there she was, slowly walking towards her.

 

"Hey there! I thought you left," Carol told the cat as she took her in her arms and put on her collar, "I'm gonna take you home, okay? Natasha and I will be your owners, we are going to take good care of you, baby."

 

The cat purred all the way back to Carol's and Natasha's bedroom, which made Carol even happier to bring her to the redhead, she knew she loved purring, it calmed her a lot. Natasha was still asleep when Carol entered so she went to the bathroom and opened the tap to give her water while going back to the bedroom to open the blinds to wake Natasha with the light of the sun. Then, she went back to the bathroom, took the cat and sat on the side of the bed as Natasha slowly awoke.

 

"Hey baby," Carol said quietly as she stroked Natasha's hair, "look who I found during my run."

 

On her lap was sitting the cat who started purring when she rubbed the top of her head. Hearing that, Natasha suddenly opened her eyes and her jaw dropped when she saw her.

 

"Carol, you can't take her here, she will get used to it."

 

"Well, she better get used to it because this is where she lives now," Carol replied with a proud smile.

 

"But she might have an owner," Natasha protested.

 

"Sam and I took care of that," Carol told her.

 

"What? How?"

 

"He took her to the vet to make sure she had no chip that would mean she is someone's, we posted pictures of her on Facebook on pages and nobody claimed she was theirs plus I drove for like three hours to find missing cat posters and there was none."

 

At first, Natasha didn't say anything, she just stared at the cat who's eyes were closed as she enjoyed Carol petting her. But suddenly, she sat up and pulled the cat on her lap, "Poor baby, you are stuck with me now. "

 

Carol giggled as the cat recognised Natasha and rubbed her face on hers, "How do you wanna call her?"

 

"Liho."

 

"That's beautiful."

 

"It means misfortune in Russian, because she really found the worst household."

 

"Natasha," Carol sighed as she shook her head.

 

"Okay, maybe it's not. But still, the name sounds good."

 

"It does," Carol said and kissed Natasha's lips before looking down at the cat, "Hey Liho, you gonna keep Natasha company while I go get her some meds, okay?"

 

"You don't have to, you know, I'll be fine in a few days."

 

"I want you to be fine tomorrow. We have training and Pietro is being a pain in my ass, I can't handle them all just by myself anymore."

 

"So you just want me back on my feet to go to work, that's romantic," Natasha commented with a chuckle.

 

"What? No, of course. I just... I miss being with you all day, really."

 

"You could call in sick and stay with me all day," Natasha smirked,"Sam can handle training, he did for a few days."

 

"Unfortunately that doesn't work cause I don't get sick," Carol pointed out.

 

"You could pretend, no one is supposed to know."

 

"But I would know and that's not good for my conscience."

 

"Right."

 

Carol gave Natasha another kiss before standing up, "When I'll be back I'll tell you everything about my cat, Goose."

 

"You have a cat!" Natasha exclaimed with surprise.

 

"Used to have one, you'll understand."

 

"No! Tell me now," Natasha whined.

 

"I can't, I gotta get your meds and then I have Avengers that need to be trained."

 

Carol heard Natasha grumbling as she got out of their bedroom and laughed a little. It was a good thing that she had enough energy to be mad at her for something like this, it meant she was in a better shape. Carol hoped that she would still be doing as good when she'd come back, but with what Natasha had, she could never be sure.

 

On her way to borrow one of the cars that was at their disposal, Carol ran into Maria, "Where are you going Danvers?"

 

"Pharmacy for Natasha."

 

"Mind if I join?"

 

Carol shook her head before inviting Maria to get in a car. While driving, Carol talked to Maria about what Natasha told her, Wanda not being cooperative in therapy and mentioned the meeting with the therapists. Maria said she would work on organising one in the next few days, the idea of keeping everybody updated on the Maximoffs' therapies was definitely good, especially to know if they were ready to be sent on real missions.

 

It felt so normal for Carol to hang out with Maria and talk to her, another thing that was a part of her none job life and that she enjoyed – because she didn't consider driving to get Natasha medicine her work, even if Maria was also a co-worker. All Carol's friends were co-workers anyway, the only other people in her life was her therapist, who could not be her friend as long as she was in therapy with her. Carol did have a thought for Maria Rambeau, who was, even if they weren't talking, her only friend outside of work.

 

Maria stayed in the car while Carol went to the pharmacy and drove on the way back because 'she was bored on the passenger seat'. She asked if Natasha health got better and Carol didn't know what to answer, she was fine when she left but she could be feeling like dying when they'd be back. Maria mentioned Natasha often taking days off around those days back when they both worked at S.H.I.E.L.D, which piqued Carol's curiosity. She didn't ask Maria for more details but she would go through Natasha's file to try to understand, maybe she could find something that would help her get better.

 

They went separate ways after they parked, Maria telling Carol to wish Natasha a good recovery. Back in their bedroom, Carol found Natasha asleep, laying on her belly with Liho on top of her, sleeping as well. She smiled at the cuteness of the scene and even went to Natasha's desk to get her Polaroid and took a picture that would end up somewhere on one of the walls. Then, she put Natasha's meds on her nightstand and told her on a little note what she should take and added a few nice words as well as Maria's.

 

Before leaving for training, Carol went to the dressing room and took Natasha's file, that was hidden in a box with the other ones Nick gave her back in 2011. She hid them because they were quite sensible informations in them and also because she didn't want Natasha to know she still had them, especially hers. She didn't really know what she would think of it but she preferred not to find out, it could trigger Natasha to see things about her past and Carol really didn't want that. She would probably throw them to the trash one day, but she was glad she didn't do it before because it could be useful to her today.

 

She went to training with the file under her arm, told the team what to do for their first exercise, knowing they had stretch before she arrived, and went to her office. There, she put the file in a drawer that she could lock and went back to the gym where the New Avengers were training.

 

They were practising their combat skills, those with experience, Sam and Rhodey, showing the basic moves to the twins and Vision with a strict order to not use any powers. Carol reminded them at every session that it was important for them to be able to fight without using their powers because, for once, they didn't always need them, and also because they never knew in which situation they could end up, somebody might find a way to disable their powers one day, who knew?

 

After a long hours of exchanging punches, Carol sent Rhodey and Sam to the shooting range and stayed with Pietro, Vision and Wanda to fight with them. Their goal, beating her, without using their powers of course. To make it a more appealing challenge, Carol told them that they wouldn't go on lunch break as long as they didn't throw her on her ass, and if they tried to cheat, they would get extra laps around the training field.

 

It took them an hour and a half and two time-outs to finally get Carol to fall down, they were getting better but all her experience in hand to hand combat was still good enough for her to resist in a one versus three fight. The liberation came from Vision who was the one fighting the most, the twins, as hard as they tried, were still humans and therefore getting more and more exhausted as the fight went on. Meanwhile, Vision was practising his moves but Carol told him he was trying too hard to make them work, which they didn't completely understand.

 

Carol sent the Maximoffs to lunch break, as well as Sam and Rhodey, but kept Vision in the gym for a moment to show them what she meant. She said they were thinking too much, that fight moves should be reflexes and that they could not be anticipated like he did. They sparred for a bit longer, Carol guiding Vision as they fought, and he eventually got it, even if he was the only one who got his ass kicked.

 

They chatted about more fighting techniques that Vision wanted to master while going to the kitchen, where Carol grabbed some salad that Maria made and a banana before going back to her office to read Natasha's file.

 

At first, Carol hesitated, reading Natasha's file felt like invading her privacy, but she had already read it once, before even meeting her, she had already been too far that time. This time, she is doing it to try to help her, she is doing it for her in a way. Maybe Natasha was not ready to talk about it, that would be fine, Carol could understand, but maybe she just needed a little push, Carol to begin to talk about this topic to open up, it wouldn't be the first time.

 

After a long debate with herself, Carol finally decided that it was the right thing to do and opened the file. She still had a vague idea of what was in it, she remembered that the first few sheets of paper were her S.H.I.E.L.D profile, skills and abilities, nothing Carol was interested in, she already knew it all. She still skimmed the papers, in case the had missed something, but she didn't found what she was looking for. Then, there were many mission reports, from her time at S.H.I.E.L.D and before that for the KGB. Carol supposed her trigger was not in those, it had to be sooner in her life, maybe in her first years in the Red Room, so Carol went straight to the psychologist report from when Natasha was hired by S.H.I.E.L.D.

 

She remembered how hard it had been to read it the first time, to imagine what Natasha had been through, and it was even harder now that she was her girlfriend. The brainwashing, the torture, the starving, thinking about young Natasha in those situation made Carol want to fly out of her office and destroy whoever was still alive from that time, this Madam B that made Natasha's life a living Hell. Carol sped up her reading, not capable to handle all the details that the man wrote on his report. She was looking for a date, the month of August since Maria said it happened more than once.

 

And she found it, on one of the last pages of the file, underlined three times by the psychologist.

 

August 7th 1988, date of abduction.

 

It all made sense now, the way Natasha confide in Carol in August 2013 at the ballet, her suicidal thoughts last year and her repetitive sickness now, they were all different reactions of her body and mine to this date, the moment her whole life changed for the worst.

 

Carol also understood why Natasha was sick when she came back, it was the day, the 7th. The fact that the blonde was away surely didn't help Natasha feeling any better, and when she came back it was already too late. Carol wondered if Natasha knew it was her trigger, she must know, it happened every year, she couldn't not know. But then, she wondered something else, why did Natasha never tell her about it?

 

Carol wanted to go back to her room and ask the redhead, there was nothing she wanted more at that moment, but she had training with the Avengers and couldn't give up on them. She barely ate what she brought to her office, only the banana on her way back to the gym, reading all these details had ruined her appetite.

 

For the whole session, Carol was distracted, thinking too much about her coming conversation with Natasha, what could be her reasons to hide this from her. After less than two hours, Carol dismissed the team, saying she was giving them some free time when really she just couldn't handle not having answers. Sam and Vision asked Carol if she was fine before leaving, to what she lied of course and quickly made her way to her office where she took Natasha's file and then went back to her room.

 

Inside, Natasha was watching a TV show on her tablet while Liho was sleeping at her feet. When the blonde entered, Natasha put the tablet down, "You know, if we are keeping her, we have to buy some stuff for her like food and a litter, I don't want her to pee or poop on our bed."

 

In other circumstances, Carol would have joked about it, but she was not in the mood. She walked to the bed in silence and sat beside Natasha, who noticed that she had something in her hand, "What's that, любимый?"

 

Carol responded by dropping the file between them and looked down at it for a long minute before speaking up, "I hate that I had to go through this thing again but I needed to in case I could find something to help, and I did," she said and pulled the paper with the date out of the file, "Maria told me this morning that you always took your days off in August, which makes a lot of sense considering this," she added and pointed at the date.

 

"Carol," Natasha choked before bowing her head.

 

Carol gently lifted her chin, "Baby, I'm not like mad or anything because you didn't tell me, I have no reason to be. I just wanted to know if there could be a reason why you were not well, I want to help you get better, I don't know if I can but-"

 

"I should have told you," Natasha muttered.

 

"What?"

 

"I should have told you," Natasha repeated in a more audible voice, "the day you came back, just before you came back, I talked about it with my therapist and I was supposed to tell you because she believed you could have help. On the moment, when I saw you, I didn't care about it, I just wanted to be with you but the ache didn't go away and, I should have told you that day, maybe it would have freed me."

 

"Why didn't you?"

 

"It just makes it so real," Natasha blurted out before bursting into tears.

 

Carol instantly pulled her into her arms and tried to soothe her and she cried tears of her own. It was so hard to see Natasha like this, in so much pain, and not being able to help her, Carol felt useless. All she could do was holding her, rocking and telling her that it was okay, that she could cry all she wanted, that she was there for her. Every sob caused more tears from the blonde, every shaking breath made her hold tighter, every second felt harder than the one before.

 

Natasha cried for such a long time that Carol had lost track of time, the only thing that mattered was the woman in her arms. She seemed so small like this, sitting on Carol's lap with her arms around her waist, clutched to her side. Liho quickly got awakened but Natasha's cries and wondered what was happening to her new owner, she meowed and rubbed her face against Natasha's legs but she was in too much pain to pay attention.

 

Carol eventually took the cat and put her on Natasha's lap, hoping she would have an affect on her. Barely seated, the cat purred so much it was louder than Natasha's sobs and she eventually opened her eyes to look at her. With a weak hand, she caressed the cat's head as she slowly stopped crying.

 

The blonde didn't want to force Natasha into talking, she knew she had to be ready for that, but she had to at least ask if she was, "We don't have to talk about it, you know. I'm just glad I know now, I wish I had known before going…"

 

"That's on me, my love. Please, don't blame yourself, you couldn't have known, only I could've told you," Natasha said with a still weakened voice and looked up, locking her gaze with Carol's, "I wanna tell you."

 

"Okay," Carol whispered before kissing Natasha's temple, "I'm here for you," she added as she took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze of support.

 

"Roxanne and I have been working on it since I got sick. I told her during our first session, the date, and she kept it in mind for the moment I'd be ready, for when we would be done with Bruce. You might have noticed that I'm always feeling better after my appointments, the doc says it is because I'm letting go of what happened in sessions and it frees me but then I overthink and that's why it comes back, the sickness."

 

"So you're gonna be sick until you're healed?"

 

"No. Roxanne thinks that the sickness started because of the date but it continued because I felt guilty for not telling you, which is true. I didn't want to talk about it with you because my damn past feels so far away since we met and talking about it brings back so much."

 

"That's okay, baby, you can tell me when it hurts. I know it's hard to let your walls down and it makes it real, to talk about it means it really happened but that's how you deal with it."

 

Natasha nodded, "I know and that's what I want. I want this all to be over, I just don't know if I can as long as I'm not sure they are really gone."

 

"I can work on that with Sam," Carol offered, "while he and I work on the Winter Soldier, we can do some research on them too, that way you won't have to worry about it."

 

"I'm not sure I can't handle not knowing what's going on."

 

"I'll keep you updated! If I don't say anything it means we found nothing, if we do find something I'll tell you and then if I don't update you it means the situation didn't evolve," Carol proposed but she could tell Natasha was not quite thrilled by it, "Come on, baby, let me do this for you. I can't help you for the most part, it's something that you have to do with Dr. Wittayer and on your own, but I can investigate, I want to do this for you."

 

"Okay," Natasha said and released a long sigh.

 

Carol pulled her back against her chest as she lied down on the mattress and Liho climbed on her stomach, "She really loves being on top, huh?" she joked.

 

"Yeah," chuckled a much more relaxed Natasha, "she slept on my back earlier."

 

"I know, I took a picture of you two, it's with the Polaroid."

 

"I'll need to see it! Also we really have to buy some stuff for her. I'm not cleaning if she shits everywhere, you brought her here you deal with it."

 

"Wow, Miss Romanoff, you are taking responsibilities for a cat I got for you," Carol said sarcastically, "We have to take her to a vet too," she added more seriously, "She needs vaccines and they could tell us how old she is."

 

"She is a baby," Natasha commented as she scratched Liho's head, "Yeah, you are a baby."

 

"You are both babies, my babies."

 

Natasha looked at Carol and, after a soft kiss on her jawline, whispered, "We have to take a picture of the three of us, the first picture of our family."

 

Carol smiled, "The Romanoff-Danvers family."

Notes:

My love- любимый (Lyubimiy)

Chapter 45: Finding out

Notes:

A year ago I had this conversation with some friends on Discord, we were saying that the MCU would have been better if Carol had been there from the start instead of Steve and that's how began the idea of What If. A year ago I could never have thought we would be there now, 45 chapters posted, 54 chapters written, at least 25 more to come and so many people reading it.
I want to thank you all once again for all the love you give to this fic, I'm so glad I can share my work and I'm grateful for all of you who's reading it.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The weather was getting colder and windier as autumn approached. The leaves in the trees around the compound were turning into their best shades of orange that matched Natasha and her shoulder-length hair as she, Carol and Liho were walking outside.

 

It took her another long week to get better after she finally told Carol about the trigger date, as they called it, and now she was back to her normal healthy shape, had taken back her place of co-New-Avengers trainer and was still having two therapy session per week. The two things she kept from this last month of struggles and sickness were the loveliest kitten she could have dreamt of and these evening walks we her pet and girlfriend.

 

Liho was growing a lot. As Natasha thought, she was still a baby when they found her, about four months old according to the veterinarian's expertise, and was also getting bigger. This was all Natasha's fault, she wasn't quite good at rationing her food and couldn't resist her when she asked for more. She was really smart and knew her ways around them both, she knew that purring would get her everything she wanted with Natasha and cuddles were Carol's weak spot, but the latter was better at saying no. They would get her a leash so she'd have to walk during their strolls, but for now she was still small enough to stand on Carol's shoulder and it gave Natasha great opportunities to take pictures.

 

On these last hours of Friday, the couple spent more time outside, knowing they could because they had given the New Avengers some free time for the weekend. The weekend prior, they had their second session of this support group version two and Wanda still hadn't showed up, but Pietro did. Following their meeting with Dr. Guillo and Wittayer, they had considered imposing support group to the twins too but Wanda's therapist said it would do more harm than good to force her now. Dr. Guillo on the other hand was quite satisfied by Pietro's implication during their sessions and the whole team could tell it had an effect on him.

 

A free weekend for the team meant a free weekend for their trainers and they had planned a little something. At had been a few months since Carol and Natasha went to a restaurant, the last time being for the blonde's birthday, so they decided to make a reservation somewhere they never went, nice but not too fancy, and have a night out together. Before that, they spent the day taking care of each other, exchanging massages and orgasms.

 

The Sunday was busier for Carol, as usual that day, she was working with Sam on the James Barnes case as well as the last known HYDRA agents that were still not behind bars and their newest case, the Red Room. They had nothing on that last one, they didn't have much connection to Russia and Carol didn't want to ask Natasha yet, she was doing so great in therapy that she didn't want to disturb her. They were still struggling to find the Winter Soldier, the leads they got were promising until they chased them and ended up back to square one.

 

As for HYDRA, the number of their people still out there had effectively decrease thanks to Sam's and Carol's work but they were never the ones arresting them. Maria was in command for this case and she was the one who chose which team should be sent after them. Carol had asked her many times to consider the New Avengers, they needed the experience but Maria thought it was too soon, they had been training for only four months after all, it was too early.

 

That's what they started to work on, finding more of the last members of HYDRA, Rumlow being one of them. Carol made sure Maria would let her handle his arrest, he was one of the most dangerous fugitives of the world and it was her job to take care of the biggest threats. Their research and contacts were not quite successful and they ended the morning with nothing, that was starting to be the word that described everything they were doing these days.

 

They joined Natasha in the kitchen for lunch break, the redhead, despite her very little talent in cooking, had made some tasty avocado toasts. Even if she knew Carol would told her if they had found something on the Red Room, Natasha had to ask, she hated being kept in the dark. Carol explained to her that they were empty handed on all their cases, which was not very comforting for her but at least she was updated.

 

After lunch, Carol allowed herself another break and pulled Natasha to their room for a making out session. At was her favourite kind of making out, the soft version with Natasha stroking her hair while her right hand was pressed against her chest, just above her heart. Those were the moments Carol could feel Natasha's love for her in the most powerful way, her kisses saying it all and her touches proving it even more. Natasha just knew exactly what Carol loved, what she needed and when. She knew Carol needed to be comforted after a frustrating morning and the best way to do so was to let her being vulnerable.

 

The best part of soft making out was the even softer cuddling that followed. Natasha was most of the time the little spoon, the one being held, but that day she was the one holding Carol against her chest and stroking her hair while the blonde was resting her eyes and enjoying her touch.

 

"Shouldn't you go back to work?" Natasha asked in a quiet voice to not disturb Carol too much.

 

Carol groaned, "Sam is a big man, he can work without me for half an hour. I need this right now," she told her girlfriend and held her tighter.

 

Natasha chuckled, "You are so adorable when you want hugs, I'd love to do this more."

 

"You say that as if we don't cuddle every day."

 

"No, I mean," Natasha started and leaned on her elbow, "when I'm the one cuddling you, you know, when you are the baby."

 

"I guess it's usually is you because you need it, today I do."

 

"Well, I'm done being the baby all the time. I want to get better and I am, so I don't need as much to be cuddled."

 

"You know it's fine if you do need to, right? Because I know you are getting better and I'm really proud of you but I also know you are capable to pretend just because you love to have me against you chest," Carol said and laughed hard when Natasha's jaw dropped, "How do you even know that?"

 

"The few times it's you holding me you are always satisfyingly smiling, you're your happiest self, I saw it and it's really beautiful."

 

"It's just… such an incredible feeling that have you there with me, so vulnerable, because you never are vulnerable if not with me. During those moments I feel like your mine and only mine."

 

"And I am," Carol confirmed as she reached Natasha's cheek with her hand, "I'm yours, forever," she added in a whisper and pulled Natasha into a soft kiss.

 

"Go now before I take you and the cat and leave this place forever."

 

Carol giggled as she pressed another kiss on her girlfriend's lips before getting out of bed. She almost stumbled onto Liho who was quietly waiting on the other side of the door as she stepped out and made her way back to the work space.

 

There was Sam, so focused on his laptop that he didn't notice Carol walking in until she snapped her fingers in front of his face, "Oh Cap! Nice of you to show up."

 

"Sorry, needed some time with my girl. This morning has been so frustrating," Carol groaned and sat on the chair facing Sam's.

 

"Well, I might have found something," Sam said with a large grin as he projected his screen on the wall behind him, "May I present you the Winter Soldier's assassinations map."

 

Carol gasped as she saw all the points on the map, all over the world, "Is this based on Natasha's intel?"

 

"Actually it's from her personal file on the Winter Soldier. She gave it to us when we left and I don't know why but we never went through it," Sam explained, "These are only the ones Natasha heard of but there has to be more."

 

"Is this of any help for us to find him?"

 

Sam chuckled, "Wow, okay, thanks for acknowledging my amazing work. I don't know if it'll help, with this we have an idea of where he has been the most, maybe one of these place feels safe for him."

 

"That's not likely. He was completely controlled by HYDRA when he killed these people, if he does remember anything he must be terrified of it so we'd have to look for the place he never killed," Carol concluded as she stood up and took a closer look at the map. She analysed the murders Natasha thought were his doing and her jaw dropped when she read the name of a very known person, "Wait, he killed John Kennedy?"

 

"His biggest hit. The killer was never found but considering his skills as a sniper it would make sense."

 

"He almost killed Nick like this too," Carol mumbled as many thoughts started to fly in her brain. She remembered knowing JFK's assassination was his doing but she couldn't say when she found out and how.

 

But then it all came back. Zola, the S.H.I.E.L.D facility she and Natasha found, the images he showed them. There was a picture of the president and then the Winter Soldier's metal arm, Nick… "He killed Tony's parents," Carol blurted out as she remembered Zola's voice "an accident would happen," he had said as the photo of Howard Stark on the front page of a journal came back to her mind, "The Winter Soldier killed Tony's parents," she repeated more clearly.

 

"What?" asked Sam, his voice full of confusion.

 

"When Natasha and I were hiding from HYDRA at that bunker, I told you about Zola and his whole speech."

 

"Yes, you did. I still think it's crazy that you were in a machine's brain."

 

"Well, this machine gave us a lot, and I just realised it gave us JFK's murderer, and Howard's and Maria Stark's."

 

Sam went back to his computer, "Okay, let me add this on the m-"

 

"No!" Carol shouted as she pushed Sam's hands away from his keyboard, "This thing is on the compound's servers meaning everybody can access it, especially Tony. You can't put it on the map."

 

"Why? Are you not going to tell him?"

 

"What do you think he will do if I tell him? He will obviously want to kill him and that's the opposite of what I want so no, I'm not telling him."

 

"Okay. Your call, Cap."

 

For the rest of the afternoon, the duo worked on a part of Sam's theory, James Barnes hiding somewhere he felt safe. They went through the files they had on him, which was not much, there were more informations in Steve Rogers' file than in those. What they found didn't lead them anywhere, it was all about his favourite spots in Brooklyn but nothing about other countries. It was their main lead, the Winter Soldier running away to another country, especially since he was an enemy of the United States, he had to hide in another country.

 

Carol had a lot of difficulties to focus, she was thinking too much about whether she should tell Tony about his parents' killer or not. She didn't know how this tragedy still affected him, maybe telling him would bring closure, maybe it would open up old wounds, she couldn't know, unless she asked someone with who he spoke about these things.

 

There were two options. The first, going to his therapist but she knew better than doing that, the Dr. Guillo would never tell anything about what they said in sessions, which was completely normal. The other possibility was to ask Natasha, they might have talked about his parents' death and the redhead trusted Carol, she knew she wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. Carol would, of course, explain why she needed these informations, Natasha deserved to know anyway, but it might also help her get them.

 

After four long hours of attempting to think and figure out a safe place for the Winter Soldier, Carol called it a day. The truth was that she couldn't keep working with this whole dilemma happening in her brain, she needed guidance from her girlfriend and the sooner the better.

 

As she made her way back to hers and Natasha's bedroom, Carol was surprised to see the red haired woman in her office and working on her day off. Natasha smiled at Carol as she knocked and closed the door behind her.

 

"You guys are already done!" Natasha exclaimed as she looked at the time, "you usually work until it's time for dinner, how many time did I have to go get your asses out of this room to eat?" she added with amusement.

 

Carol didn't reply and flopped down on the couch, loudly sighing three times before Natasha got up and joined her, "What is so important that you decided to leave your favourite weekly activity and came here?" she asked as she sat at the end of the couch and pulled Carol's head on her lap.

 

"James Barnes killed Tony's parents."

 

At first, Natasha remained silent, wondering why this detail was so important to Carol but then she realised what it meant if Tony learnt the truth, "Well, that sucks," she commented and Carol suddenly sat up, "Does it?"

 

"Yeah, it does. Tony never believed his parents died in an accident, he is fixated on the idea that someone was sent to kill them."

 

"So there is no way I'm telling him," Carol mumbled, "but if we ever find Barnes and rescue him, we will need Tony to find a way to stop his brainwashing and I don't think I can ask him that while lying about who he is."

 

"Listen Carol," Natasha began as she took her lover's hands, "Knowing Tony, he will want him dead whether you tell him now or after we rescue him. Lying to him is not a good option either because he could find out one day, that would actually be the worst thing that could happen."

 

"Are you saying I should give up on Barnes?" Carol asked as she frowned and took her hands out of Natasha's.

 

"What? No! Of course no," Natasha quickly replied, held Carol's hands again and brought them out to her mouth, "You know I trust you on this and I believe it's the right thing to do. What I meant was that considering the few options you have, the best is to tell him now. Maybe if he gets time to understand that it is the Winter Soldier that killed his parents and not James Barnes it will be easier for him to not want to kill him."

 

"Is he here now?" Carol wondered as she got up and paced the floor.

 

Natasha stood up and stopped Carol, "Baby, it doesn't have to be now now. It's not like you were close to find him, you can wait a little and think about how you want to tell him."

 

Carol shook her head, "Nope, I can't keep this to myself. If I see him I will feel so guilty that he will notice something is wrong, I have to tell him."

 

This reaction took Natasha by surprised, she only saw her once with all her walls down and that was during the Ultron crisis for something that weighted a lot on her. The fact that she was so agitated about this situation meant that she really cared about the life of James Barnes, "Hey, slow down," Natasha said as she cupped Carol's cheeks and gently forced her to focus on her, knowing it calmed her, "why are you so nervous about it?"

 

Usually, Carol would close her eyes and rest her forehead against Natasha's, but she didn't, she broke the contact between them and paced again, "Because Barnes never got a chance at redemption and he might never get one. He was captured, turned into a murderer, brainwashed over and over again and now he is hunted down by every single American agencies for things he never meant to do, it's not fair. We got second chances, the twins, Tony, they all got the opportunity to prove that they were good people and he will not get that because Tony will try to kill him the second he will see him."

 

"Carol, hey…" Natasha whispered before taking Carol's hand and led her to the couch. She nodded at the seat and Carol sat down, Natasha sitting on her lap so she couldn't escape this time, "I know this is personal to you but you can't let your emotions in control when you'll tell him. Tony might be driven by his anger but he is also really smart, if we take the time to explain everything he will understand, it will take time but he will."

 

"How can you be so sure?"

 

"I know him. We talked about a lot of stuff and, as much as his parents death was hard for him, he doesn't seek revenge, he just want the truth."

 

After a sigh, Carol kissed Natasha's temple to thank her for her advices, "Okay then, let's go see him."

 


 

For some reasons, Tony's therapy was taking place on Sundays, but since it was mandatory he had to go anyway. He didn't really mind, therapy was good, it was helping, but Sundays were Pepper's days off and having to go to the compound meant he was spending less time with her.

 

Since Tony decided to take some time away from Avenging, he was going to the compound only for his weekly sessions and some times during the week for meetings but this happened only twice. He didn't literally stand down from his position at the head of the Avengers, he was still paying them after all, but he did choose to trust Carol, Maria and Natasha to do what was right, to pick the fight that must be fought by the Avengers and to train the new members correctly. It felt really great to not be around all these superheroes all the time and it was even better to work on other projects, his own projects, and to be with Pepper more.

 

Tony got into the habit of checking on his emails in his office after every therapy session and before going back home, just to make sure he didn't miss anything important. That week, he did have to respond to three emails that he received earlier in the week, which forced him to stay longer than the usual at the compound.

 

He was just done with his last email when Natasha and Carol stepped into his office, both with serious faces.

 

"Ladies, what can I do for you?" he asked as Carol closed the door behind her and Natasha walked to the couch, nodding at it to invite Tony to sit there too. The Iron Man found it weird to be invited in his own office but he did as asked and sat on the armchair while Carol joined her girlfriend.

 

After a few seconds of silence, Carol spoke, "You know who James Barnes is, right?"

 

Tony didn't expect the conversation to be about a man that died a long time ago but he answered as if he wasn't surprised, "Yeah! Captain America's bestie. Oh wait, were they like you? Not actual besties," he said with his typical smirk, smirk that made Carol want to punch him in the face every time and he knew it.

 

Carol rolled her eyes, "Okay, first of all, how are we supposed to know about that? And second, not the point at all."

 

Carol's nervousness seem weird to Tony but he decided to not comment on it, it would be his good deed of the day, "Right, okay. Keep going."

 

"So you know him," Natasha continued.

 

"My father talked about him some times, not as much as he talked about Captain America though. He said that Barnes was as loyal as one can be and he died on mission with Rogers."

 

"Well, he actually didn't die," Carol said, "He was taken by HYDRA and he is called the Winter Soldier."

 

"The guy you fought two years ago? That's Captain America's best friend? Well, not as loyal as my dad said… Wait! Is he like you?" Tony asked and pointed at Carol, "'Cause the guy should be dead by now."

 

"We have reasons to believe HYDRA created their version of the super soldier serum and gave it to him. He was also brainwashed into doing many things, killing people mainly."

 

"How come I was never informed of that?" Tony asked as he raised his eyebrows, not understanding why the Avengers weren't after him when he seemed very dangerous, "We should stop this man. Are you trying to stop this man?"

 

"I actually have another plan, a better plan," Carol replied and then turned mute.

 

Tony waited a few seconds but, as the couple was not saying anything, he tried to push them to talk, "Which is?"

 

Natasha and Carol shared glances, neither one of them seemed willing to speak up. After half a minute and a squeeze on Carol's hand from Natasha, the latter finally explained their plan, "We wanna find him and save him from the brainwashing he suffered. I know Carol knows a very efficient version of it but here it doesn't work the same, what he went through… what I went through, it's repetitive, it eats your brain but then it all comes back to you, the reality, and so they have to do it again. It works for a few days, a few weeks at best, and then you have to do it again, to trigger the person so they are at your service. Now, considering that Barnes has not been brainwashed for two years, or so we hope, he should be himself, more or less."

 

"What's left of him, anyway," commented a very affected Carol, talking about brainwashing was something that was always difficult for her.

 

"Okay, so you wanna save a good guy that was turned bad by HYDRA, sounds like something we do. Where do I do my part?"

 

This time, Carol spoke, "You don't have any part in this. We don't need your help to find him, there is just one thing you should know."

 

"What is it?"

 

"It came to my attention very recently that HYDRA used the Winter Soldier to create chaos that would end up in their favour. Some accidents that happened were actually not accidents, they were murders orchestrated by HYDRA to reach their goal, global control of the planet."

 

"Okay, but how does this have anything to do with me?" Tony asked as a weird feeling appeared at the pit of his stomach

 

"One of the 'accidents' was your parents' death, Tony. They sent the Winter Soldier after them, surely because your father knew too much, it was not an accident."

 

Tony's breath suddenly sped up, his vision became blurry and his fists were so clenched that they were turning white. He couldn't believe it, all this time he had been told his parents died in an accident but he knew it wasn't true, he knew something was wrong in this story and he was right, they had been killed. Another thing that was wrong was Carol's and Natasha's will to find the guy responsible for the death of his parents and to save him, spare him, that would not happen. If anything, the death of Maria and Howard Stark was the worst thing that ever happened to Tony and he would, for sure, get revenge.

 

All these thoughts happened so fast in his brain that his next words were barely audible, "Well, you better find him fast so I can kill him myself."

 

"Tony, no. Please, that's not what we want," Natasha said with a calm voice but nothing sounded calm to Tony now that he learnt the truth, he wanted to explode, "And what do you want huh?" he asked as he stood up, "You tell me you know who got my parents killed and you expect me to what? Stay calm and let you save him? After all we talked about, Natasha, I thought you would know better than that."

 

"Tony, you have to understand that James Barnes had nothing to do with the Winter Soldier's actions. HYDRA played with his brain, they made him their puppet," Carol explained in a tone much more aggressive than her girlfriend's.

 

"And I'm supposed to care? You want to save my parents' killer and I'm supposed to be okay with it? To understand?" Tony shouted as he pointed his finger at Carol

 

"The person we want to save is not your parents' killer," Carol replied as she took a step forward.

 

Tony scoffed, "They are the same person to me."

 

"Tony, please," Natasha said as she walked at his level and carefully pushed him away from the blonde.

 

"Oh no, Natasha, you don't get to Tony, please me when you know how hard it has been for me to come to term with their deaths, when you know I never believed it was an accident. You expect me to understand but did you think for one second of how it would make me feel? Was it somewhere in your mind or did you just come here and to tell me 'Hey, by the way your parents were indeed killed and we know who did it and we want to spare his life', because it looks like that to me."

 

"Man, you can't even imagine how hard I thought about your feelings," Carol replied loudly, "it was the first thing I thought about. But you wouldn't understand that, right? Since only your feelings matter, right?"

 

"Are you calling me selfish right now? Really?"

 

Natasha went to her girlfriend and pushed her away, "Carol, get out."

 

"That's probably a good idea, yeah," Tony yelled as she made her way to the door.

 

Carol turned and glared at him, "Great to see you still haven't changed a bit," she said before slamming the door as she left.

 

"Can you believe her?" Tony asked Natasha who stood arms crossed in the middle of the office, "Because I can't, I can't believe she came here and told me this and thought I would be fine."

 

"She didn't think for one moment you would, Tony, that's why she almost didn't tell you. She was nervous like hell when she explained it all to me and she knew that telling you we want to get Barnes back would upset you but she also thinks you deserve to know the truth about their death."

 

"Well, now I do and I want him dead."

 

Natasha sighed, "God, she was right in the end, you really only think about yourself."

 

"Wouldn't you want him dead?" Tony exclaimed, "If he had killed your parents, wouldn't you want to kill him?"

 

"Not if he was not himself when he did it."

 

"You are a hypocrite. I know that the only thing you want is to get revenge from what they did to you, and now you are not letting me have it."

 

"The difference with you situation and mine is that the people who hurt me were a hundred percent themselves when they did, he was not."

 

"But he did kill them," Tony groaned.

 

"He was controlled by other people, those are the ones you should want death."

 

"I mean, aren't they already?"

 

"That I don't know, they might still be out there, we didn't arrest every HYDRA members we know of."

 

"I don't think I can do that," Tony said as he leaned against his desk and released some of the tension that built up in his back muscles when the conversation became heated with Carol, "I don't think I can stand there and watch the man who killed my parents walk away with it."

 

"We are not asking you to, we want you to try. I doubt he will ever be able to set foot in the US anyway, you wouldn't have to let him stay here or hang out with him, we are just asking you to let us save him when we'll have the possibility," Natasha told him as she patted his shoulder.

 

After a few seconds of thinking, Tony raised his head, "I can try but I can't promise I won't try to kill him."

 

"Just don't hunt him down, please. If we do find him and get him back to who he really is, don't go after him."

 

"I hate that you are so convincing," Tony groaned but smiled, "when did that happen? I use to always disagree with you for God's sake."

 

"You became weak, Stark."

 

"Yeah, must be that."

 

"I'm really sorry for what Carol said, she was on edge, she didn't mean it."

 

Tony shook his head, "Actually I'm pretty sure she meant it, Carol always thought I was selfish and that's not gonna change."

 

"She doesn't think that, Tones," Natasha assured, "You are very important to her, she doesn't want to hurt you and she knows she did today, that's why she was so pissed."

 

"She sounded pissed at me."

 

"Maybe she is a little but she mostly is at herself. And speaking of which, I should go check on her."

 

"Yeah, you do that and I go back to my Natasha…" Tony said and then realised he must clarify, "Pepper, I mean Pepper, the person who's gonna calm me like you are gonna calm her."

 

"Got it."

 

"Good, 'cause I didn't want you to think I was cheating on Pepper or something, I would never."

 

"I know Tony. She is the one," Natasha said and smiled.

 

"And Carol is your one."

 

"Yep."

 

"I hate that you two are cuter than Pepper and I," Tony commented.

 

"That's because were gay," Natasha replied before walking away.

 

"I know," Tony told himself as he thought back to everything that was said in this room in the last minutes.

 

There were really a lot of things to take in, even more to process, but Tony knew that Pepper would help him a lot for that. Without wasting a minute, he made his way back to his home, his mind still wanting revenge.

 


 

Natasha made her way back to hers and Carol's bedroom as fast as she possibly could, knowing the blonde must be stressed out after the argument she and Tony had.

 

When she entered the room, Natasha found Carol sitting on one of the two armchairs they had in their room, beside the French door, her face in her hands as she leaned on her elbows, "Hey you, are you okay?" Natasha asked softly as she made her way towards Carol.

 

Carol slightly jumped as Natasha surprised her. She looked back to see her girlfriend standing behind her, her hand sliding on her shoulders as she replied, "I don't know, did he say he wouldn't try to kill Barnes?"

 

"I asked him to try not to and he said he would try. He also said he wouldn't track him down to kill him."

 

"Well, that's close enough, I'll take it," the blonde sighed as she leaned on her elbows again.

 

Natasha sat on the arm of the chair and kissed Carol's neck before rubbing her clothed shoulders, "You are so tensed, my love," Natasha said and leaned to Carol's ear, "Let me help you feel better," she added in a whisper before gently pushing Carol off the armchair, the Captain taking off her shirt as she sat on the floor.

 

Natasha quickly went to the bathroom to take the massage oil and sat on the armchair, Carol sitting between her leg as she stared at the setting sun. Liho, who was asleep on the bed when Natasha walked in the room, joined her owners, rubbed her face against Carol's legs but as the latter was too focused on enjoying Natasha's massage to give her attention, the black kitten gave up and climbed on Natasha's lap where she lied down and started to purr.

 

"You did the right thing by telling him, you know that, right?" Natasha asked Carol as she felt her muscles relaxing under her touch.

 

"I almost didn't," Carol admitted before muffling a whimper, the area where Natasha was rubbing was really tensed, "At first I told Sam I wouldn't tell him."

 

"But you did in the end, you asked for my advice and together we did what's right."

 

"Yeah, we did," Carol muttered and looked back at Natasha, the redhead stopping her massage to fully listen to her girlfriend, "We make a great team, don't we," Carol added as she reached Natasha's cover-with-oil hand.

 

Natasha squeezed Carol's hand before leaning in to kiss her, "We do," she whispered against her lips.

Notes:

Another note to tell you that i will change the details of Natasha's past so it fits what was in Black Widow.
In the previous chapter i set her abduction date in 1991 but i changed it to 1988 and the other details from previous chapters will be changed soon so if you have seen the movie, consider that the part about her past is canon in the fic too and otherwise go see it because it's genuinely the best MCU movie ever

Chapter 46: Weekend off

Chapter Text

As much as they loved their job, the last couple of months had been extremely exhausting for Natasha and Carol, their personal lives as well as professional ones draining all their energy. It was for their well-beings that they decided to take a long weekend, from Friday to Monday, just for themselves.

 

Before leaving the Thursday evening, they gave Rhodey and Sam the schedule for the Friday, Saturday and Monday of training they would miss and then hit the road. Sam also had the task to take care of Liho, the cat unfortunately couldn't come with them so someone had to keep an eye on her.

 

They weren't going far, they drove south for about an hour to a small town that was closer to New York than the compound was. They rent a small house that they found on an ad on the internet, it said it was cosy and welcoming, perfect for a couple, so Carol instantly contacted the person to be sure it would be theirs for four days.

 

It was late when they arrived, almost ten PM, but there was still a few rays of sun enlightening their way. The house was exactly as it looked like in the ad, an old construction made with orange bricks and heavy wooden doors. The plot was surrounded by trees and bushes, which isolated it from the other houses and gave the couple the intimacy they were looking for. Beside the house was a small garden, most of the plants had already bloomed and given their fruits to the owner of the house but the pear tree, where many fruits were there, waiting to be picked.

 

After taking the bag they packed for the weekend, Carol and Natasha made their way to the porch, where they knew were hidden the keys, in a flower pot beside the door as the owner told them in a text. Natasha tried the first pot she saw and found them, proudly smiling as she looked back at Carol and showed her the keys. But the blonde was not paying attention, her eyes were on the porch swing and it seemed that she was not interested in entering the house anymore.

 

"Remember our moment at Maria's under the porch?" Carol asked as she dropped the bag and took a seat on the swing.

 

With a soft small, Natasha joined her, her hand finding Carol's thigh as she sat comfortably, "You had so many openings to kiss me that morning, but you never did… you let me in control."

 

"I wasn't sure you were ready," Carol explained as she turned to Natasha, "and I didn't want to force you. What I was sure of was that we would happen, I just didn't know when."

 

"To be honest I didn't know either. I wanted you so much but it took me some time to act on it."

 

Carol giggled, "Fortunately for me you did and now I can kiss you whenever I want," she said as she leaned in and pressed her lips on Natasha's, the redhead smiling into the kiss, "I love you, Natasha."

 

Natasha's smile grew bigger, "I love you too."

 

They cuddled on the swing for a few more minutes, Natasha being the one to get up because it was starting to get cold as falls was really there. Carol followed her as she opened the door and stepped inside the house.

 

In the dark, they struggled to find the light switch and Carol stumbled on a carpet. Natasha eventually had the smart idea to use the flash-light of her phone and finally found it.

 

The lights revealed an old-fashioned living room with a couch that seemed very comfortable, a rocking chair, a large bookcase and, beside it, a fire place. Natasha took a curious look at the many books, she recognised some of them that she had read, others that she wanted to read, and one that she would for sure try to read during the weekend, "Babe, look," she exclaimed as she turned to Carol, who was visiting the kitchen, "It's the book you talked about, isn't it?"

 

As she approached, a smile appeared on Carol's face, she had not seen this book in about forty years but she could still remember her favourite parts, "Yep, Carrying the Fire , one of the books that made me want to join the air force."

 

"Did you think back then that you would actually see space?" Natasha asked as she read the summary of the book.

 

Carol chuckled, "I absolutely didn't. I couldn't even imagine being lucky enough to go on a lunar mission so space was… a fantasy."

 

"You miss it?"

 

At this question, Carol took a step forward and pulled Natasha closer, knowing Natasha needed some comfort as well as honesty from her girlfriend, "I don't, not even a little. The best part of space is flying and I can do that here."

 

"That's the right answer," Natasha said with a smirk as she walk to the kitchen.

 

It was smaller than the living room but still completely enough for them. They wouldn't cook a lot during the weekend anyway, Carol had located three restaurants in the vicinity that seemed worth trying. Above the kitchen was a mezzanine, the ceiling height allowing an entire bedroom to fit, it also made the whole house less oppressive which Natasha really liked. The only part of the house that was closed by walls was the bathroom in which was a bathtub, where Carol could picture herself and Natasha having a great and relaxing time.

 

The couple had already showered and eaten so they would have to wait to use the house's equipments. They both went upstairs, Natasha waiting until Carol had found the light switch before turning it off on the first floor and joined her. The bed was as comfortable as the one they had in the compound, however, it was smaller, which was not really a problem since they were always glued together when they were sleeping.

 

Since it wasn't their bedtime yet, Carol and Natasha changed into their pyjamas before the latter sat on the rug and the former on the edge of the bed to braid her girlfriend's hair. Natasha's hair had grown out enough to be braided again, to her biggest pleasure, she was doing it like this almost every day.

 

While Carol was doing her hair, Natasha was texting with Tony, the billionaire asking her if the place they rent was not too bad compared to the comfort of the compound. At that, Natasha laughed, which picked Carol's curiosity.

 

"What's so funny?" she asked as she had not been paying attention to who Natasha was talking to.

 

"Nothing," replied the redhead before putting her phone back into her pocket.

 

"Don't lie to me, Natasha," Carol groaned, "I saw you were texting with someone, who was it?"

 

After a grimace, Natasha sighed and showed the screen of her phone to Carol.

 

"That's it?" the blonde asked, "You didn't want to tell me because it's Tony?"

 

Natasha waited for Carol to finish her hair before turning to her, "I know you two aren't in a good place right now, I didn't know if you'd be okay with me talking to him."

 

"Because Tony and I are on bad terms doesn't mean you can't talk with him, baby. And I'm sure we will sort it out, we just need some time it figure everything out. I still have hard feelings and I guess he does too but after what happened it's normal."

 

"He is sad that you are not talking, you know. It's really hard for him to let go of this after all these years of knowing in his gut that they didn't die of an accident but he is trying."

 

"You know that's not what I'm asking him to understand," Carol sighed, "I get that he wants to hold accountable the people who killed his parents but those people aren't Barnes, it's HYDRA. That's what he has to understand, if he wants revenge he can go after the last people we didn't arrest yet."

 

"I know, my love," Natasha said softly as she sat beside Carol on the bed and entwined her fingers with hers, "he told me he would work on this in therapy. In the meantime maybe try to think about something else, I know it's important for you but it's been eating you alive, you have to stop fixating on it."

 

Carol, who had been staring into space for the whole conversation, finally faced Natasha, "You're right, I need to focus on myself a little," Carol admitted before resting her head on Natasha's shoulder, "I'm so lucky to have you to take care of me."

 

Natasha smiled as she kissed Carol's temple, "And I, you, baby."

 

They sat together in silence for a moment, Natasha slowly rubbing Carol's back as the blonde stroked her thumb on her thigh. Eventually, Natasha stood up and offered her hand to Carol who looked up and smiled before taking it. They went downstairs to the bathroom to brush their teeth, still wordless until Carol spat and missed the sink. Natasha mocked her of course, this woman was amazing in a lot of fields but she was still the most clumsy person Natasha knew, and she loved it.

 

They both had a great night, which was quite extraordinary for them, since they started dating at least one of them had a nightmare but recently it was easy to sleep. They got awakened by the light coming from the windows downstairs, a waking slow and calm, something they were looking for and one of the reasons why they took those days off.

 

For once, Carol was the one in her lover's arms. She was usually the one holding or being the big spoon, it could happen that she was the little spoon but her sleeping with her head on Natasha's chest was a first, an incredibly satisfying first.

 

"Hey sexy," Natasha said as Carol opened her eyes, "you know you snore when you sleep on my chest?"

 

"Do I?" Carol asked, surprised, she had many flaws but snoring was one, "Yeah, I guess it's the position because you usually don't. And it's not too loud, it was more a whistle than a snore, cute."

 

Carol looked up at Natasha with pleading eyes, "Didn't disturb your sleep?" the redhead shook her head, "So we can sleep like this again?" she asked and Natasha giggled as she nodded, "Yas!" Carol exclaimed as she launched herself on top of Natasha and hugged her, "I've had such a good night, we'll have to do this more often."

 

"Okay," Natasha replied in a whisper before kissing her lips, "God, I love you so much."

 

Carol grinned, "Because I'm cute?"

 

"Because you're you."

 

A small gasp escaped Carol's mouth as her smile became tinier but more filled with emotions, "I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever told me."

 

"And you are the best thing that ever happened to me," Natasha told her as tears were forming in her eyes.

 

"Stop it," Carol mumbled as her own eyes were watering, "Fuck, I didn't think I would cry this morning," she added with a forced laugh and wiped the corner of her eyes with the back of her hand.

 

"As long as we cry of happiness baby, I'll consider we are fine," Natasha concluded before pulling Carol's head back on her chest and held her.

 

They went back to sleep for a couple of hours, the sun high in the sky and the house fully enlightened this time when they opened their eyes. Natasha groaned as she stretched her sore body, having Carol on top of her was great because of all the warmth she brought her but she was still a tall and muscular woman.

 

Her muscles now relaxed, Natasha smiled as she observed visible framework of the house's roof, "This place is really great, I could see us living in a house like this."

 

Carol, who was out of bed, looked back at Natasha as she put a T-shirt above her bra, "Kinda small though."

 

"It's big enough for us and Liho," Natasha replied as she sat on the edge of the bed.

 

"It is but we can't have kids in this house," Carol noted, "except if you want us to move out of the compound. Although I'd rather stay there as long as we have to train the newbies, it could be nice to have a place of our own."

 

Natasha suddenly realised that she had not been thinking about this very major detail, kids. She did want them, she always pictured herself as a mother and even more since Carol promised her they would have a normal life and adopt, but somehow, she didn't feel like she had to have kids anymore. It didn't take her long to figure out why it slipped out of her mind though, it was Carol, or rather the way Carol could make her so happy that she didn't need that part of life to be happy anymore.

 

Carol was enough for her.

 

She had always been.

 

After a couple of minutes of silence, Carol was fully dressed and wondered why Natasha had not said anything more, "Babe, you good?"

 

Natasha lightly hummed as she got her head out of the clouds and finally matched Carol's gaze, "Yeah, I just…" she paused to think about her next words, "I guess I thought it could be just us."

 

Carol seemed confused, "I thought we wanted kids. Something changed?" she asked as she sat beside her girlfriend.

 

"No," Natasha reassured, "I want kids, I do. I just realised that I used to want kids because I thought it would make me happy, and the fact that they took the possibility to have biological children away from me used to make me hate myself but um… I realised I don't need kids to be happy, I just need you for that."

 

Natasha's words caused Carol to tear up again, "So… it's not a need, it's just something you want."

 

"Yeah, something I want to do with you," Natasha completed as she put her palm on Carol's chest.

 

At that, Carol giggled and leaned in to press her forehead with Natasha's, "You have to stop making me emotional."

 

"Sorry," Natasha whispered before kissing Carol's lips, "I promise I'll stop for today."

 

"Thanks," Carol replied and kissed the redhead again, "Come on, get dressed. We have to go outside if we want to eat breakfast."

 

Natasha took the first clothes she found in their bag, ending up with half of her outfit being from Carol's wardrobe, and joined Carol in the yard. They had a few options for breakfast, they could go to the farmer market or the grocery store in the city, a dozen of miles away from them, but they wanted to walk and went to the bakery.

 

The place was owned by a young man and his grandma, they were surprised to see visitors but welcomed the couple warmly and even offered them croissants. They strolled back to the house and ate breakfast on the table outside, despite the light breeze.

 

Natasha was the first done with her breakfast and she left the table to set up a comfortable place for her and Carol on the swing under the porch. She took the book she wanted to read from the bookshelf, picked one from those she knew Carol would like and borrowed a blanket from the couch. They spent the rest of the morning reading, Natasha's head resting on Carol's shoulder as the blonde had her arm around hers.

 

When it was time for lunch, Carol chose one of the restaurants she found on the internet and they walked to go there. They were serving classical American dishes but they were perfectly cooked, thus the 4,5 stars on Google, Carol concluded.

 

They still had to go to the store if they wanted to eat proper meals, they only had two more restaurants to try on their list and seven meals before going back to end of their vacation, so they took the car and drove to the closest store. They bought various vegetables, rice and pasta that they would eat for dinner and they would go to the restaurants for lunch, too lazy to get out of the house during the evenings.

 

Carol and Natasha went back to the house and read on the porch swing for the whole afternoon, Carol finishing her book and starting a new one by teatime. The blonde made tea and brought it to Natasha, as well as biscuits that they bought at the grocery store. A couple of hours later, Carol went to the kitchen and started making dinner while Natasha was enjoying the perfect view of the sunset they had from the porch. From the kitchen, Carol could see how Natasha was too mesmerised by the beauty of what she was seeing to think about capturing the picture of it so she climbed the stairs to take the Polaroid and gave it to her before going back to cooking.

 

Natasha had not taken artistic pictures in a while, she almost only took photos of herself and her friends since Carol offered her this Polaroid so it was satisfying to be creative again. After ten minutes and five pictures, Natasha stepped inside the house and proudly showed her work to her girlfriend who was very impressed by the quality of it.

 

"The sunset must be amazing from the sky. Did you ever watch it?" Natasha wondered as she contemplated her pictures.

 

"Yeah, it's quite the experience. I should take you up there and you'll see for yourself, what about tomorrow?"

 

"Oh, my God, yes!" Natasha exclaimed as she looked up, "that would be awesome!"

 

Carol giggled as she wrapped her arms around Natasha's waist, "I love the enthusiasm, I hope I didn't oversell it."

 

"Even if you did, as long as I spend a good time with you, I'm fine. Just don't drop me, please."

 

"I promise I won't," Carol replied and pulled Natasha into a kiss, "and dinner is ready, by the way."

 

The rest of their day consisted in eating dinner, a ratatouille that was becoming Carol's speciality, and reading books while cuddling. This first day had been quite normal but for them it wasn't, chilling all day long was not something they could do with their overbooked agendas.

 

It gave them a taste of what life after the Avengers could be and they both agreed that they liked it. This next life would surely be more than just reading and eating, they had plans, projects for the future but knowing that being – sort of – retired suited them was a good thing.

 

The next day went smoothly, they woke up with the sun again, Carol made breakfast and they ate it outside, then they read, went to another of the restaurants on their list of lunch, came back to the house for more reading and then came the time for the flight.

 

Carol prepared Natasha's outfit for the occasion while the redhead was showering. It wasn't that cold outside but Carol flew fast and there was a lot of wind, she wouldn't want Natasha to feel uncomfortable for this moment. Natasha put on the under shirt, tank top and sweater that Carol gave her, not commenting on the fact that she was slightly over protecting her as fun as she thought it was, it was also really cute of her.

 

They still had a dozen of minutes before the sun would meet the horizon so Carol used some of them to explain Natasha how it would happen, "Okay so I have two ways to carry you, the infamous bridal style or by holding you around your chest. People usually prefer the second option but I guess they just don't wanna be my bride," Carol joked, "You choose."

 

"Well, I do wanna be your bride one day so I take the first option."

 

With a smile, Carol lifted Natasha off the ground and, after wrapping her arms around Carol's shoulders, Natasha kissed her cheek, "Let's go, Danvers Airline."

 

The blonde laughed, amused that her girlfriend remembered this joke she did the first and only time she took her for a flight in Sokovia, and finally took off.

 

Natasha's first reaction was to giggle as she felt the wind in her braids and the landscape appearing in front of her. She had never seen anything like this before, there was just trees and bushes and nature, no building or pylons ruining the view. At this instant, she wished she had taken the Polaroid with her but she supposed she could go on another stroll through the sky with Carol another day for that, tonight she just wanted to enjoy the show.

 

She couldn't tell at which altitude they were when Carol stopped climbing but she couldn't see the house anymore, it wasn't even a little spot. As the sun approached the horizon, Natasha could not take her eyes off of it, she was mesmerised by the light and the rays that were meeting the clouds and the treetops. When the sun finally began to disappear behind Earth, Natasha grinned from ear to ear until it was completely gone, only its last rays enlightening the planet.

 

The whole time, while Natasha was watching the sunset, Carol's eyes didn't leave Natasha's face, the happiness that radiated from her thousand times better than any sunset that Carol had seen, and she had been lucky enough to see a lot of those, in different galaxies and stars. When the sun was gone, Natasha turned her face to meet Carol's gaze and all the love that shined through her eyes. With a gentle hand, she cupped Carol's cheek and pulled her into a loving kiss, "Thank you for this," she whispered against her lips and captured them again.

 

"I'm not done yet, baby," Carol told her with a smirk and started flying forward.

 

Surprised, Natasha yelped and gripped the fabric of Carol's shirt, the sudden speed making her feel like she was going to fall but Carol was holding her tight, there was no way she could let go of the love of her life like that, as clumsy as she could be.

 

A few minutes later, they were by the seaside, or above it, and Carol stopped, "I'm such an idiot, I should have taken you here. The sunset by the beach is even better."

 

"No, it's all right my love, it gives us another date idea," Natasha replied with a genuine smile.

 

It was quite dark now and, as Carol didn't move, Natasha looked down to see New York and all its street lights and buildings, the parallel roads and the Hudson. It was the first time she was seeing this city like this, she had been in New York during the night but the view from up there was so different, so unimaginable and unforgettable.

 

"I'll take us here again so you can take pictures," Carol told her.

 

"Sounds good," Natasha murmured and kissed Carol's cheek, "Let's go back."

 

Carol was a bit lost at first but she eventually found her way back to the house, flying at an average speed so Natasha could enjoy the landscape. Back in the house, they both went straight to the bedroom and changed into their pyjamas and got ready for bed.

 

As she sat comfortably in bed, Natasha sighed satisfyingly, "This thing is better than therapy," she joked, "we were out there for like twenty minutes and I smiled for nineteen of it?"

 

Carol chuckled, "You know, I'm pretty sure the objective of therapy is not to make you smile."

 

"That's true but still, feeling shitty after a session really sucks."

 

"Yeah but the ultimate goal of therapy is to make you happy in the long term. As good as flying feels, it's ephemeral," Carol wisely pointed out.

 

"Not if you take me flying every night."

 

"Natasha…" Carol sighed as she sat beside her, "I thought you liked therapy, did something happened?"

 

Natasha's features went from amused to emotionless in a second, which told Carol that something indeed happened since the last time they exchanged about their respective therapies. She usually loved to talk about her progress in sessions, they both did, even if they didn't mention it often it was something good in their lives, or it used to be for the redhead.

 

After a minute of inviting glances and Natasha avoiding her eyes, Carol reached for her hand and brought it to her mouth, "I know therapy doesn't always feel good but struggling is okay, you know."

 

"I'm not struggling, it's a standstill. I don't know what to tell the doc when I'm there, I have a hard time focusing and my answers are off track. I don't think we've had a productive session in like three weeks?"

 

"Pretty sure that's not the case," Carol assured, "If you were not advancing, Roxanne would do something about it, say something. My therapist does that a lot actually, when I always talk about the same thing, she smartly pushes me back on the right track."

 

"How am I progressing if I don't feel like it?"

 

"That, I don't know baby, but I can tell you that as long as your therapist writes in her notebook, you are telling her useful informations."

 

Natasha rolled her eyes, "Goddamn notebook, I'd kill to know what's in it."

 

"Oh yeah? I really don't," Carol laughed, "once I was mad and Dr. Odé offered me to read what was in her notebook but it sounded more like a threat, it scared me to see the truth about myself."

 

"I don't know, I feel like she entirely figured me out so I wanna know who she thinks I am."

 

"Who she thinks you are doesn't matter, only what you think of yourself does."

 

After a scoff, Natasha turned her head to Carol, "You know I hate it when you are right? Especially when what you say is the opposite of what I wanna hear."

 

Carol giggled as she leaned closer to her girlfriend, "I know," she whispered before kissing her lips, "we should get some sleep, yeah?"

 

"Yeah," Natasha replied quietly and pressed another kiss on Carol's lips, "Good night, my love."

 

After another great night of sleep, the couple woke up early, Carol very surprised to hear Natasha's alarm ringing. The blonde woke up with a start, she thought that all their morning during this weekend would be sleep-ins. Maybe Natasha had forgotten to turn off her alarm, but it was Sunday, they had no alarm on Sundays since they weren't running on their only day off of the week.

 

Her eyes still sleepy, Carol struggled to find her phone and see what time it was, but Natasha bested her, "It's 9 AM, we have get ready, I'm taking you out."

 

Carol was intrigued and showed it with a raised eyebrow but she was also excited and couldn't fight a smile. They began the day with a breakfast made by Natasha and followed a shower that turned into a making out session, that would have been more if Natasha didn't stop them because they had 'business to attend to'.

 

Natasha took the wheel and drove for half an hour before Carol realised they were going to New York. In the city, the traffic was dense and they spent another half hour in the car before Natasha parked in a street Carol recognised. As they walked on the pavement, she noticed a shop where she had bought her first suit, another one where she remembered seeing people hiding during the battle of New York and finally they arrived to their destination, the Thai restaurant, her favourite.

 

Carol smiled through the entire lunch, her mouth was full all the time and she, once again, refilled her plate four times. Natasha couldn't help but laugh when her girlfriend had sauce all over her mouth and even took a picture of her that she would show everybody when they would go back to the compound.

 

After this great meal, Natasha told Carol that they could take the car or walk and use public transports to go to their next stop and, if it wasn't for her full of food belly, she would have enjoyed a walk but chose the car. Carol tried to question the redhead as she drove but she was better at interrogating than her, she knew all the tricks and wasn't going to fall for them. Eventually, the Captain admitted her defeat and turned up the music, the two of them singing along and dancing as Carol's hand was glued to Natasha's thigh.

 

There was nothing very interesting to see around the place Natasha parked, but as they walked down a street, Carol saw the Yankees Stadium and understood why they were there, "Were gonna watch a baseball game?" she asked with excitement in her voice.

 

"Not any baseball game," Natasha corrected, "we are going to see the Yankees against the Mets."

 

"Are you kidding me?!" Carol exclaimed.

 

"I'm not. When we were planning this weekend I remembered you once told me you wanted to see them and turns out they are playing today so I had to get us tickets."

 

Pure joy overflowed into Carols vein, it was one of her dreams to see these teams in real life but she never got the chance to. Her excitement was such that she wrapped her arms around Natasha hips and lifted her as she cheered, "You are the best person of the universe."

 

Natasha giggled as Carol kept her in her arms and walked a few steps before releasing her, "You make my dreams come true so I'm trying to do the same for you."

 

"I love you so much," Carol said before kissing Natasha's lips.

 

"I love you too," Natasha replied softly, "Let's go, I wanna buy you a cap of the Yankees."

 

Carol was more and more excited as they arrived to the entry of the stadium and turned into an enthralled child in a funfair when they entered. On top of this incredible surprise and a cap and a baseball glove, Natasha had bought premium seats, they had the best view of the game.

 

The blonde wore the Yankees' cap with pride even if she cheered for the two teams, she was so happy to be there that she enjoyed every throw, got up at every strike and celebrated every points. Natasha, quite a fan of the Yankees herself, was acting like a second coach, yelling advices after every strikes and encouraging her team when they were struggling.

 

The Yankees led for the whole game, for the couple's biggest pleasure, and won by 11 to 2. The entire stadium burst into joy as the players came to celebrate the victory with them. Carol carried Natasha in her arms and thanked her a dozen times for this surprise.

 

On the way back to their car, Natasha and Carol ran into a couple of boys, around fifteen years old, who recognised them and asked for a picture. They gladly accepted and posed with these two young men, both wearing Yankees shirts. After this stop, they joined the car and drove back to the house for their last evening there.

 

For the whole ride, Carol had stars in her eyes as she thought about the great game she had the lucky to see and all the memories she would get from it. Natasha was glad to see that her surprised worked so well, she knew Carol wanted to see those teams play but she didn't expect her to be this happy about it.

 

With large smiles on their face, they stepped into the house and cooked dinner together. They ate inside this time, it was lightly raining outside, and spent the rest of the evening on the couch, chatting about the best moments of the day as a fire warmed the entire house.

 

In the middle of the conversation, Carol received a text for Sam that made her and Natasha laugh.

 

Sammy [10:27PM]: Look what I found on Twitter, Cap in a cap.

 

With the text was attached the tweet from one of the boys from earlier in the day, he and his boyfriend were so happy to have met Captain Marvel and Black Widow that they posted the picture on social media with such a nice caption, 'Crazy afternoon at the stadium, the Yankees dominated the Mets and we got to meet our favourite superheroes, they were the kindest, love you both.' Carol wanted to create a Twitter account just to reply to them but she knew the bad sides of social media and didn't want to get involved in any of them.

 

After seeing this, Natasha wondered if these boys knew that she and Carol were dating, which was not a problem, she just didn't want to have people – paparazzi – going after them to have pictures of the 'Avengers lesbian couple'. Carol thought the same, she was glad to be an idol for LGBTQ+ teens but the celebrity part of it could be quite annoying some times, hopefully they weren't bothered very often.

 

They decided to go to bed quickly after this so they could get up early the next day to tidy up the place and enjoy their last moments there before going back to their routine. They had a quiet morning under the porch, drinking tea as they read books, and took the car to go to the last restaurant they had to try.

 

Back at the house, Natasha started to pack what was left of the groceries they bought while Carol finished her book. Then, they worked together to clean up the house and left it in the exact same way as they found it. Before leaving, Natasha took notes of the few books in the shelf that she wanted to buy and joined Carol to wait for the owner to take the keys back. They exchanged a bit with the man, complimented his property, thanked him and drove back to the compound, a bit melancholic of this amazing weekend.

 

The ride back was full of bittersweetness, they talked about their best moments, laughed and hoped they would have a great time like this again, and soon. Thinking about how much they enjoyed this break made Natasha think of something, they could give the New Avengers some vacations, after all they had been training tirelessly for almost six month, they deserved to chill out.

 

They didn't waste time and proposed the idea to them when they got back, they were all gathered in the kitchen, eating dinner. Of course, they were all thrilled and started to organise their week but Carol stopped the Maximoffs, she and Natasha had already planned something for them. They were going to visit Laura and the kids at the Bartons house, Natasha had been wanting to go there for a long time, to check up on her friend and to finally meet her godson.

 

Surprisingly, they were quite happy about this trip, so Natasha instantly called Laura to tell her that she, Carol and the twins would be visiting for the week of Halloween. Laura was excited about the news but not as much as Cooper and Lila that Natasha heard screaming through the phone. This break still had to be made official by Maria but there was no reason she would say no so they all celebrated.

 

The couple joined their team for dinner and then followed Sam to his room where he had been keeping Liho. The cat was peacefully sleeping on a pillow when they entered but the moment Natasha talked, she woke up and ran towards her owner, rubbing her face against her leg until she picked her up.

 

"Hey baby!" she cooed as the cat started to purr, "I missed you so much you and your little furry face."

 

Carol grinned as she stood beside her girlfriend and pressed a kiss on top of Liho's head before thanking Sam for taking care of her.

 

"It was nothing, really, she is the sweetest. She really loves to sleep on my back though."

 

Natasha chuckled, "Yeah, humans' backs are her favourite pillows."

 

"I'll get you your stuff back to your room, okay? You go enjoy your last hours with no responsibilities."

 

"Thanks again, Sam," Carol told him as she patted his shoulder.

 

He smiled, "No problem. Now get your ass outta there and cuddle with your cat."

 

The couple did as asked and went to their room where Carol put the clothes they had not used back to the dressing room and put the dirty ones in the laundry basket. When she was done, she switched places with Natasha and cuddled the cat while the redhead put some of the Polaroids she took on the wall.

 

Then, they got ready for bed and fell asleep with Liho in between them, the cat's purrs lulling them into their last night before the return to the routine.

Chapter 47: Autumn break

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Right after the spying session of the Friday afternoon, the Avengers were on their autumn break for ten days. Natasha, Carol and the twins left an hour later – they had packed their luggage the evening before – for a four hours trip. The couple was taking Liho with them this time because, while they were going to Washington, Sam was going to Louisiana to be with his sister and Maria was too busy to take care of a cat. Vision was staying at the compound but they didn't feel experienced enough to know how to look after a cat and Rhodey said he would spend time with his best friend and friends.

 

Carol and Natasha tried to liven things up on the road with music, as they did when it was just the two of them and, as well as it worked with Pietro, it was a total failure with Wanda. It could have been the choice of songs but since Pietro knew them, she did too, so Carol supposed she was not at her best. It didn't go unnoticed to Natasha either, even if she was driving, the redhead had the perfect view on the young witch thanks to the rear-view mirror and could tell something was up.

 

After two hours of driving, Natasha stopped the car to take a break and shared her thoughts about Wanda with Carol, who agreed with her. They weren't going to ask her if she was okay on this service area, they would wait, maybe a few days in case it was just a mood swing, but if she still seemed 'off' like this after a couple of days, they would do something.

 

Dinner was served and the family was ready for them when they arrived. Cooper and Lila quickly ran to their Aunts Nat and Carol to hug them while Laura went to greet the twins with baby Nate in her arms. Only when the kids were done with their hugs, Natasha got the chance to join Laura and finally lied her eyes on her godson.

 

He was so much like Clint when he was young, she thought as she remembered some old pictures that her best friend had showed her. Cooper looked more like Laura when he was a baby, Lila too, but Nate was exactly like his dad, he had his eyes and nose, the same shape of ears, everything except his brown hair made Natasha think of Clint.

 

Without even asking, Natasha took Nate from Laura and went to the table where she spent the whole dinner with the baby asleep in her arms. Beside her was sitting Carol with Liho asleep on her lap, the cat had spent the entire trip in her cage, sleeping, and was sleeping a bit more, as a cat do.

 

Pietro was adapting quite well to this new environment, he had briefly met Laura and the kids at the funeral but never really got to talk. He was really great with the kids, made them laugh, used his powers to get them extra food, while his sister was still… absent. Wanda was barely participating in the conversations, she wasn't very much listening either and ate only half of her plate.

 

Before dessert, she asked Carol if she could tell her where she would stay for the week and the blonde showed her the way after sharing a confused gaze with her girlfriend and Laura. Upstairs, Carol told Wanda that she and Pietro would share the second spare room of the Bartons house, room that would soon become Nate's room, the baby for now sleeping in his mom's bedroom. At that, Wanda didn't say anything and started to unpack some of her stuff, Carol meanwhile standing awkwardly in the doorway, not sure what she was waiting for but still waiting for it to happen. After a minute, Wanda turned around with her pyjamas in her hands and asked where the bathroom was. Carol led her there and this time she knew she had to leave, the young woman probably asked her just to be left alone.

 

Carol went back to the kitchen and grimaced as Natasha wordlessly questioned her on how it went. Asking Pietro if he knew anything was tempting but not a good move, the young man definitely knew something was going on with his sister but he would betray her if he said anything to them, so Carol didn't bother to ask.

 

The entire house went to bed straight after dinner, it was late for the kids – even if they didn't have school the next day – Laura was tired of her day and Pietro as well as the couple had had a long and exhausting training session and a four hours trip, they all deserved rest.

 

Carol and Natasha slept in the next day, that was the whole point of this vacation, being able to rest and sleep for more than their usual six/seven hours. They also came to see Laura, the kids, and to babysit a bit so Laura could rest, but they took the first day for themselves. It was almost eleven when they got out of their room and the whole house but Wanda was in the living room, Pietro playing with Lila and Cooper while he had Nathaniel in his back. Laura was in the kitchen, reading a magazine while drinking tea.

 

"You found a new babysitter," Natasha joked as she joined her friend and greeted her with a hug.

 

Laura chuckled as she looked at the mess that was the living room, "I didn't even ask, he was already up when I got up, he made tea, and when the kids arrived he just served them breakfast."

 

"Well, the idea of this vacation was also for you to take some time for yourself," Natasha explained while Carol was holding her from behind, "I thought Carol and I would be the ones looking after the kids but it's good to know that we can rely on Pete, too."

 

"Yep! Good to know we have Pete," Carol repeated as she held Natasha tighter and kissed her neck, "that means we can have some more cuddle time."

 

"Maybe tonight ladies," Laura told them, "I was thinking we could go to the mall this afternoon, the kids still need costumes for Halloween."

 

"Sounds great," Natasha replied.

 

Carol groaned, "Can you go without me?" she asked as she pouted, "I really don't feel like going to a mall, too much people. It makes me think of the compound."

 

"Babe, you sure?" Natasha wondered as she turned in Carol's arms, "you don't wanna be there to pick your Halloween costume?"

 

"I trust you to get something that I'll like."

 

Natasha slightly nodded in agreement before kissing Carol's cheek and hugging her. She was a bit sad that she wouldn't be walking hand in hand with her girlfriend at the mall but she knew it was best for her, she didn't want to think about work for ten days even the smallest thing that could make her think of it would ruin her mood.

 

Laura was back to her magazine and the couple was still hugging when Pietro asked for their help, "Um please, I think the baby just puked on my back," he said as he leaned forward with a wide awake Nate with vomit all over his mouth.

 

"Oh God!" exclaimed Laura, "don't move," she added ran to help him.

 

Carol went to a cupboard and took a rag that she used to clean Pietro's back while Laura took care of her baby.

 

"Well, that's my favourite hoodie," Pietro commented as he looked at the damages that Nate did.

 

Carol laughed, "Don't worry, you can still wash it."

 

"Next time do less acrobatics and maybe the baby won't puke on you," Natasha mocked as she replaced him at playing Wii with Lila and Cooper, "Try winning this with a baby in your back," Pietro challenged.

 

"I won't because I know it's not possible."

 

"I guess you're right," Pietro concluded as he kept staring at his dirty hoodie.

 

"Give me that," Laura said as she extended her hand, "I was going to do the laundry anyway, it can't hurt to add this."

 

"Thanks."

 

While Natasha and the kids were playing Wii, Carol sat on the couch with Pietro. She thought about asking him if Wanda was going to come downstairs at some point and a minute later, she stepped into the living room and sat on an armchair. Her face was emotionless, she was still off, not even looking at the spectacles that were the three video game players in front of her until Natasha pressed pause and asked her if she wanted tea. When she nodded, Natasha handed the controller to Pietro and glanced at Carol who got the hint and joined her in the kitchen.

 

"I don't think she'll be pleased by the shopping idea."

 

"Just don't ask her opinion, she needs to go outside, to be around people."

 

"Easy for you to say, you won't be the one having to handle her," Natasha noted.

 

Carol discretely chuckled, "Come on, she can handle herself. And Pietro will be there, you'll be fine."

 

Natasha didn't argue any further and brought a cup of tea to Wanda. The young woman thanked her and got up, Natasha for a second thinking that she was going back to her room but she actually changed seats to see better what was happening on the TV screen.

 

The redhead joined her girlfriend in the kitchen and wrapped her arms around her waist as they both observed Wanda's behaviour, "Maybe there's hope," Natasha commented as the Sokovian smiled.

 

For the rest of the morning, the couple helped Laura making launch, or rather Carol helped and Natasha was glued to her since she was still a very bad cook, while the kids played with Pietro and Wanda. After launch, Natasha went to hers and Carol's room to change, the blonde accompanying her only because she wouldn't be with her for the next few hours.

 

She played with Liho, who had been spending the whole time in their room since they arrived, while Natasha picked and put on her clothes.

 

"You're sure you don't wanna come?" she asked as she joined Carol and the cat on the bed, "it could be fun."

 

"I know but I really don't want to be anywhere near a crowd right now. This house is already filled with people, I can't handle more than that."

 

"Okay," Natasha murmured before kissing Carol's lips, "try to go outside, yeah? Get some fresh air, maybe cut some log of wood, it could help you relax."

 

"I will," Carol replied with a genuine smile and kissed Natasha, "now go and get us great costumes."

 

Natasha giggled as she got up, "I'll find something that'll match," she said and stepped out of the room.

 

Carol cuddled with Liho while the others got ready and only left her room when she was sure they were gone. She had different options to busy herself, she could do as Natasha said and split in two halves the logs that were outside but it made her think of the fight she had had with Tony while doing this same activity during the Ultron crisis and about the events that happened after it that were worse. She still wanted to get some air and decided to go for a run around the Bartons' property.

 

As she jogged, she realised that they owned a very big part of land but she supposed that it was this big because it was S.H.I.E.L.D that got them this house. Thinking of S.H.I.E.L.D made Carol think of Nick, she wondered what he was doing of his days after Ultron. It surprised her that he didn't show up at Clint's funeral and even more that he had vanished since, he didn't ask for news to Maria, about the Avengers or anybody else, he was just somewhere doing something but nobody knew any detail.

 

Old memories was not what Carol had been looking for when she decided to run so she took a minute to clear her head and went back to what she was supposed to do, running. In the end, she jogged for forty five minutes and, when she walked back to the house, somebody was on the porch, looking through the window to see if anybody was home.

 

It took Carol only a couple second to recognise who it was, "Thor!" she exclaimed and joined him, "What the hell are you doing here, man?"

 

"Carol! It's great to see you," he replied and greeted her with a quick hug, "I had some time for myself and I thought why not visiting my friends? So, there I was in the new facilities, finding no one until I ran into Hill and she told me you and Natasha were there."

 

"Yeah, we gave them time some time off, they deserve it after all the work they did. The twins are here too."

 

"Yes, I heard. I think I shall stay here just for a day and then visit Tony."

 

"Sounds good," Carol told him as she pointed at the chairs that were under the porch, inviting him to sit.

 

"So, what are you up to these days?" he asked as he took a sit.

 

"Oh, you know, training the new team, hanging out with my girl. We adopted a cat! Her name is Liho, she is sleeping upstairs."

 

"A pet! That's the first step into building a family on this planet, isn't it?"

 

"It kinda is, yeah," Carol laughed, "Although I'm still not a hundred percent sure I can build a family."

 

"Of course you can!" the God of Thunder exclaimed, "It would require adoption I suppose, or maybe you have other things possible here, I am not an expert but I am sure you can."

 

"It's not about the how," Carol explained, "Natasha and I discussed it and we want to adopt. It's more about the when or if it will ever happen at all."

 

"I'm afraid I'm not following what you mean."

 

"Of course you don't, you were already gone when I yelled about this the last time we were both here…" Carol said before pinching the bridge of her nose, a bit nervous to tell Thor about her whole self conflict, "I do want a life with Natasha, a normal life, but there is a part of me that feels responsible for all the people in the universe that needs to be saved and I don't know when or if I will ever not feel like I am the one that should go and save them."

 

"Ah, I see."

 

"My therapist calls it the superhero complex."

 

"Well, can I give you my point of view on this?" Thor asked.

 

"Please do, of all people, you are the one who can understand this problem better so, yeah, give it."

 

"I was raised to become the King of Asgard, it was my duty as the King's son to protect the people of the nine realms from any threat and I did it with pride and honour. I was close to becoming king when I made a mistake that made me lose Mjolnir and it gave me a lot of time to think about who I really am and what I really wanted, and that was serving the people that trusted me to do it, but also that I didn't want to be king because I was not ready. I made a mistake because I was not ready to be what I was expected to be but it gave me clarity. I think that you found out what you really wanted after the young Maximoff played with your head, you discovered this will to be with the one person you love and even if you want this very hard, you still need to adjust with the person you are supposed to be, who you are expected to be. Like I was expected to be a King, you are expected to be a hero."

 

"So… if I understand what you just said, I also am not a hero."

 

"You are for the people of the universe but who you are inside might not be it."

 

"I fell in love with Carol Danvers…" Carol muttered.

 

Thor frowned, "What?"

 

"That's something Natasha told me," Carol clarified, "I fell in love with Carol Danvers, not Captain Marvel."

 

"And what you want is to be with her, therefore you-"

 

"Want to be Carol…" she completed with a grave tone.

 

"Yes."

 

"Shit… that's the thing my therapist has been trying to make me understand for weeks," Carol said and laughed, "So, what would you do if you weren't you?"

 

"If I wasn't destined to be King?" Thor wondered out loud, "I guess I would be with Jane, maybe ask her to come to Asgard, she loves it there. We would have a house, she would work as a physician and me as a soldier and we'd live peacefully there."

 

"Sounds like we both choose love," Carol noted as she smiled, thinking of Natasha.

 

"What is life without love?" Thor asked, "It's what makes us people."

 

Carol silently nodded as she stared at the landscape, imagining how nice it would be to have a house like this and live peacefully like Thor described. Normal jobs, a place to live where it's only them and Liho, that was a dream that Carol hoped would come true some days.

 

As she tried to relax, Carol felt thirsty and got up to get herself a drink, "Want a glass of water? Fruit syrup?" she asked Thor.

 

"I'll take whatever you are having."

 

The blonde woman nodded and went to the fridge to make two lemon syrup for her and Thor. When she walked back to the porch, she spotted Liho in the staircase and picked her up. Carol handed Thor's glass before putting hers on the table, sat down and cuddled with Liho, the cat rubbing her face all over Carol's.

 

"That's the cat," Thor noted before taking a sip of his drink, "she is cute."

 

"Yeah, that's Liho! Natasha found her walking around the compound and we eventually took her in."

 

"We don't have this kind of pets in Asgard, although we do have pets, but I have to say cats seem nice."

 

"Yeah, it's great. They are very independent, which is nice because you don't have to walk them like a dog, Liho goes out of our room and comes back before dark. But when they want to be with you they can be annoying, hopefully she doesn't bother us too much."

 

An enjoyable silence fell between the two friends as they drank and looked at the view in front of them. Liho was finally done with cuddles and was dozing off on Carol's lap.

 

After a couple more minutes of silence, Thor spoke, "I was wondering if you had any news on Banner, did your try to find him?"

 

"I have to be honest, we didn't. Nick had found something that could be the Quinjet just after you left but since then nothing. We assumed that, if it was him, and if he wanted to come back, he would have, so he is probably somewhere, leaving a peaceful life away from the Avenging world."

 

"Well, it's better for him, after what happened with the Hulk in Africa he wanted calm."

 

"Yeah, that's the reason why we didn't try to find him."

 

Before they could chat more, the God of Thunder and the Captain heard Laura's car arriving and got up, Carol carrying Liho in her arms to not wake her. The kids got out of the car as soon as their mother parked and they ran in direction of Carol and Thor.

 

"Mom, look, there is Thor!!" Cooper happily shouted.

 

As both kids greeted Thor with hugs, Carol went to Natasha who was taking the shopping bag out of the trunk, "How did it go?" she asked as she took one of the bags from Natasha's hands to help her.

 

"I found a Catra costume and thought we would be very sexy as Catra and She-Ra but there was no She-Ra costumes left so I had to improvised," Natasha explained before taking Carol's costume out of a bag, "I bought pants, shoes and a jacket that looks exactly like Adora's."

 

"Oh, my God, that's great!" Carol exclaimed, "it's good that you didn't found a She-Ra costume, after all Catra is in love with Adora, not She-Ra," she added and noticed that it was very similar with hers and Natasha's relationship, both Catra and Natasha loved the person, not the hero.

 

"That's true," Natasha muttered as she put the costume back in the bag and then kissed Carol's cheek, "So, Thor is there, huh."

 

"Yeah, I was jogging when he arrived, I saw him at the door and instantly recognised his outfit," Carol explained as they walked inside the house, "we got some time to talk, it was nice."

 

"I guess so."

 

Carol took all the bags and brought them upstairs to give Natasha time to greet Thor. She put the bags with hers and Natasha's costume in their room and then thought she would have to guess which bags belonged to which person but the names were actually written on them. Still, Carol was tempted to look but she supposed it would be better to discover the others' costumes when they'd wear them for Halloween.

 

When she walked back downstairs, Carol passed by Wanda who had her emotionless face again, which worried her a bit. As well as the costumes for herself and her kids, Laura had bought food for dinner – not expecting the visit of Thor but there was still enough for all of them – so Carol joined her in the kitchen and helped making dinner. Meanwhile, Thor was telling stories to the kids who were amazed by all his adventures, Natasha, with Nate in her arms, was watching Carol cooking and Pietro offered to hang out the washing.

 

Natasha gave Laura her son back when she and Carol were done making dinner, they just had to wait for it to cook. While it did, the couple went to the bathroom to shower and, as usual when they take a shower together, they also made out. They were very tempted to do more but the fact that the bathroom was next to the Maximoffs' room stopped them, they couldn't have sex knowing that Wanda could hear them.

 

They got out of the bathroom just in time for dinner and told Wanda it was time to come downstairs, the young Sokovian grumbling a few words on the way but nothing Carol nor Natasha understood.

 

Keeping up with all the conversations was impossible during dinner but that didn't change from the usual Avengers meals. Laura quickly fed Nate and put him in bed before forcing her two other kids to eat fast as well, she wanted them to go to bed early since they fell asleep late the day before. When only the adults were around the table, there was just one conversation and everybody was participating, except Wanda.

 

Laura asked Carol and Natasha if they would visit for Christmas, which they didn't know yet even though they wanted to come. It would be the Bartons first Christmas without Clint, it would be hard and they wanted to be there for her but at the same time they weren't sure they would have many more days off, the Avengers needed to be trained.

 

They promised they would try to come, and after thanking them Laura asked the twins if they would like to be there too, "I guess it will depends on Carol and Natasha," Pietro told her, "if they give us time off we would be happy to come."

 

"Come on, Pete," protested Carol, "you know that if we can take days off we will give you some too."

 

"The kids would love having you there for Christmas."

 

"Actually we are Jewish so we celebrate Hanukkah," Wanda said, which surprised many people around the table.

 

"Oh," Laura blurted out.

 

"It was more our parents thing but since they died we've kept the tradition in their honour," Pietro explained as he reached Wanda's hand, "we could celebrate both, Christmas on the 25th and Hanukkah on the 28th. After all we are trying to blend in the American culture."

 

"You can blend in and still keep your traditions," Natasha told him, "we would never ask you to change who you are."

 

"I know."

 

"So, we are celebrating both Christmas and Hanukkah this year," Carol concluded.

 

Pietro happily laughed, "We are," he said and looked at his sister, the brunette at first hesitant but she eventually expressed her feelings with a wide smile.

 

The rest of the dinner felt easier, Wanda was more opened to conversation and even laughed at Carol's and Pietro's jokes. When everybody was done eating, she helped Natasha washing the dishes and thanked her for understanding how important celebrating Hanukkah was for her and her brother. On the other side of the room, Carol and Pietro were watching TV and on the second floor, Laura was showing Thor where he would stay for the night.

 

Natasha chatted a bit more with Wanda after they washed the dishes but she quickly excused herself and left, saying she was tired. Seeing that his sister was going to bed, Pietro went too which left Carol and Natasha alone in the living room.

 

Nothing was interesting enough on the TV for them to stay so they made their way to their room and joined Liho in bed after a quick stop in the bathroom to brush their teeth.

 

"So, how was it at the mall?" Carol asked as they made themselves comfortable in bed.

 

Natasha grimaced, "It was okay, Pietro was with Wanda all the time just like you said, I didn't have anything to do. I even left them for a moment to get your costume and we met up at the car when we were all done."

 

"And earlier, did she say anything?"

 

"Just that she was tired and that she was glad she could spend time away from the compound. We really took the right decision with this break, everybody needed it."

 

"Especially us," Carol said as she laid on her side and pulled Natasha closer, "I wanna sleep for three days straight."

 

"That would be the only straight thing you do," Natasha joked and Carol giggled, "That's very true."

 

"Good night, my love."

 

"Good night, baby."

 

Around six thirty AM, Natasha woke up with a start as she dreamt of one specific night at the Red Room where she thought she would die. She was having these kind of nightmares a lot since it was what she was working on with her therapist but the fact that she didn't feel the need to wake up Carol was an encouraging improvement. She could handle her anxiety on her own most of the time now which meant the therapy was helping, just like Carol told her.

 

Still, she was shaken up by the nightmare and got out of bed to get herself a glass of water. She was in the kitchen, filling up her glass when she heard someone outside of the house. Intrigued, she went to the porch and found Thor watching the sunrise, "Let me guess, Asgardians don't sleep?" Natasha asked as she sat on the empty chair beside him.

 

Not surprised by the redheads arrival, Thor kept his eyes on the horizon as he replied, "Actually we do, just not as much as you do here."

 

"Carol is like that too, she has been quite tired lately though so she sleeps a lot."

 

"And you? Why are you awake so early?" Thor asked, this time looking at Natasha.

 

"Nightmares."

 

Thor hummed, he knew damn well the damage that nightmares could do on someone, he used to have them too. Natasha appreciated that he didn't try to tell her it would get better eventually, it was something that she knew would happen but as long as it didn't, hearing it was not helping.

 

Natasha sat with Thor in silence until her glass was empty. She excused herself to him and went back to bed with Carol, the blonde still in the exact same position as when she left.

 

A few hours later, Natasha woke up but this time naturally, or rather because Carol was moving too much as she was awake too. They decided to not cuddle this time and went downstairs to find the living room was very much in the same state as it was the morning before, Pietro was still playing with the kids but this time Thor was there too and Laura had Nate in her arms.

 

As Carol was preparing lunch for the kids with Pietro, Thor announced that he was going to leave. He waited until Wanda got up to say goodbye to everybody and then flew away with Mjolnir, in direction of Tony's villa. Carol and Natasha handled Cooper's and Lila's lunch while Laura and the twins were cooking for them, and when the kids were done eating they went to their rooms to do their homework.

 

Since the kids were busy and Nate was asleep, Laura used the opportunity to take a nap, Carol and Natasha telling her that they would look after the three of them if they came back downstairs or woke up. Now that they were alone with the twins, Carol and Natasha decided to finally ask them about therapy and sat down with them in the living room.

 

"We wanted to check with you guys about your therapies," Natasha began, "How do you feel about it? Do you like your therapists? We wanna know so we can help you."

 

A few second passed and no one talked, the couple had expected that it would be hard but counted on Pietro to open up. After half a minute, he shared a gaze with his sister and spoke up, "Well, I'll speak for myself and say that Dr. Guillo is really helping me with the trauma that was the death of our parents. I hadn't realised it was still impacting me so much until we talked and she's really been great to me, I feel safe with her and I think I'm healing."

 

"That's good to hear, Pietro," Carol said with a genuine smile, "It was the objective of this, to help you dealing with your mental health. It's important for you both to understand that it's okay to not be okay, you can feel bad, you can be vulnerable, but it's also important to try and feel better."

 

"It's easier said than done," Wanda commented.

 

"That's true, Wanda, it's easy to say that you will heal but the process of healing is long and complex. Some times it feels like it won't ever work but you have to trust your therapist, she knows what she is doing. Trust us, we know what it is to struggle in therapy but we keep showing up and we talk and we cry, they do their jobs and we got better."

 

"I know, I just don't feel like it's be working at all since we've started."

 

"I'm sure if I ask Dr. Wittayer she would disagree with you," Natasha assured, she knew the Dr. Wittayer well enough to know that she would do something to help Wanda moving forward in therapy if she felt like she was struggling, "Tell us Wanda, how is it going with her?"

 

"I um- I was thinking she would want to hear about my parents but we've never really talked about them yet and it is kind of frustrating for me."

 

"Why are you not talking about it?" Carol questioned.

 

"Because we are talking about something more recent, she said it was important for me to deal with the latest things before working on the rest but I want to work on the rest."

 

"She did it for me too, helped me process Clint's death so we could work on my past."

 

Wanda bitterly scoffed, "Well, I guess you did better at processing his death than I do."

 

Natasha frowned, "What do you mean?"

 

Wanda looked down after Natasha question and sighed a couple of times as she rubbed her temple. After a minute, Pietro reached her hand and gently squeezed it to give her some courage, although it seemed that he didn't know what it was about, "When he died, Clint, Pietro and I were there, we saw everything. Pietro saw that a jet was flying in his direction and he wanted to go and save him but I stopped him because it was risky, he could have died and I couldn't let that happened but maybe what I did killed Clint and I feel very guilty about it, I can't look at Laura in the eyes."

 

"It's not your fault, Wanda," Natasha assured as she moved from her chair and sat beside her to comfort her.

 

The young woman sniffled, "That's what she's been telling me all this time but it doesn't work."

 

"You should talk with Laura," Carol said and it earned her two surprised gazes by the twins.

 

"What? No, I can't."

 

"You should, I'm sure it would help you. I can see that you feel relieved after telling us about it but we are not the ones who need to hear this. We were there, I got to talk to him one last time, Natasha saw him, but Laura got home and she learnt that her husband died and she didn't see him, she needs closure and so do you."

 

"If I tell her that she will hate me, how does this help me or her?"

 

Natasha shook her head, "She won't hate you, she won't think it's your fault because it's not."

 

Wanda groaned as she took her head in her hands, it was something very difficult that Natasha and Carol were asking her to do but ultimately they knew it would help the brunette. She knew it too but it would be hard emotionally, to face a woman that lost so much to tell her that maybe, her husband could have been saved. It was hard but it was the right thing to do, "Okay, I will talk with her but I want Natasha there with me."

 

"Of course, Wanda, I'll be there."

 

"I'll go check if she's awake," Carol said and went upstairs.

 

The idea was not to wake Laura if she was still napping so Carol entered her bedroom without knocking and slowly stuck her head out to find Laura on her phone while Nate was sleeping beside her.

 

"Hey," the blonde whispered as she stepped in, "sorry to bother you. Um… we need you downstairs, Wanda wants to talk to you about something."

 

"Sure!" Laura replied as she got up, "can you take Nate? I can't leave him alone here."

 

"Yeah, give me this cutie."

 

When they arrived on the first floor, Carol went to the kitchen where Pietro was and let Laura join Wanda and Natasha in the living room. To have more privacy, Natasha offered them to go on the porch and she looked back at Carol with a smirk as they went there, knowing that she wanted to eavesdrop. There was something else on her features, she was happy, and that was surely because Carol had Nate in her arms.

 

Pietro seemed very nervous, he couldn't stop bouncing his legs and he was staring at the window, even if he couldn't see the three women because they were seated.

 

"You good Pete?" Carol asked as she adjusted her position so Nate was more comfortable in his sleep.

 

"Yeah, I just wish I had known."

 

Surprised, Carol frowned, "You didn't know about this?"

 

"No. She's not been talking to me lately, it's like she doesn't trust me anymore."

 

"I don't think that's the case," Carol assured as she patted the back of his shoulder, "She's been through a lot with the therapy and, while you've been getting better, she seems to feel like she isn't moving forward. Natasha kinda feels like that sometimes, when she is struggling in therapy she doesn't want to talk to me about it, I guess she thinks it would make me feel guilty because I do get better but I really just wanna help her and I know you want to do the same with your sister."

 

"Yes, I want to be there for her but she doesn't want me."

 

"You know, sometimes, people just need space. You can remind her that you are there for her if she wants to talk and still give her space. I know it can be frustrating but it's what's best for her and, if it really bothers you, you can always talk about it with your therapist."

 

"That's true. Thanks for the advices, Carol."

 

"No problem. You know you can always come to me or Natasha if you need to talk."

 

The young man chuckled, "I think I'll stick with you, it looks like Natasha is more Wanda's person so I'll let her have her."

 

"Sound like a good plan," the blonde replied with a smile.

 

For more than fifteen minutes, Pietro, Carol and Nate remained silent in the kitchen, the two adults observing from afar what was happening on the porch while the baby was taking his best nap. It was only after a twenty minutes long conversation that all three women got up. As Natasha was stepping back inside, Laura shared warm hug with Wanda, Pietro making his way to join his sister as she stayed outside.

 

Natasha went to Carol and held her waist as she rested her chin on her shoulder, "That was a very emotional conversation but I can tell it lifted a weight off Wanda's shoulders already."

 

"That's why I suggested it," Carol replied as she leaned and kissed Natasha's forehead.

 

After wiping a few tears off her cheeks, Laura walked to the couple and asked to get Nate back. Carol moved slowly and carefully to not wake him and Laura left them alone when she had him in her arms.

 

Natasha sighed, "That was a hell of a weekend."

 

Carol giggled as she turned to face her girlfriend, "And it's just the beginning!"

 

Notes:

I know the newest version of She-Ra was not out at the time this chapter takes place but the idea of Carol and Natasha as Adora and Catra was too tempting :D

Chapter 48: Halloween

Notes:

This chapter was supposed to be part of chapter 48 but it would have been way too long so I cut it in two.

Chapter Text

For this new week of their break, Carol and Natasha had prepared a surprise for Laura. With her mom, they organised a day at a spa for Laura, who really needed a break after six months of handling her kids education almost on her own.

 

Early in the morning, Laura's mother came to the house and looked after the kids while they were getting ready for school. Laura was extremely surprised to see her when she arrived downstairs with Nate in her arms, crying because he was hungry. Her mom barely explained why she was there and drove the kids to school, leaving Laura completely confused.

 

When she came back, Carol and Natasha were awake and the three of them explained to her what she would do of her day. Since Wanda had had some difficult times, she was invited and gratefully accepted, the three women leaving for the spa right when they were ready.

 

This day was a great opportunity for Natasha and Carol to get an idea of what parenting was. They would have to take care of a baby as well as two kids and their homework and all of that only with Pietro's help. Hopefully they only had Nate to babysit until 3 PM and it was not a very complicated task, after drinking his morning bottle he would sleep for at least three hours.

 

After Nate took his breakfast, Carol cooked for herself, Natasha and Pietro who got up just before 9. Pietro offered to wash the dishes when they were all done eating and the couple obviously let him and went to the bathroom to change into their jogging outfits. They had not run together in weeks, the last time being before their weekend away from the compound. Now that they had the time, and Pietro there to take care of Nate if he woke up, they ran outside the Bartons property like they used to do around the compound or in the streets of New York.

 

They jogged for less than an hour – it quickly got boring to run around the house – and went to the kitchen to quench their thirsts and found Pietro playing with Nate on the floor. Everything seemed to be in order, the baby was smiling and giggling at every things Pietro did so the couple let him handle the babysitting for the time being and went to their room.

 

Before Carol could think about anything, Natasha had her hands gripped at her waist and pushed her to the bed, "You know what's more illegal than your abs?" the redhead purred to Carol's ear as she straddled her lap.

 

"Pretty sure I'm about to find out," answered a flushed sweaty and already turned on Carol.

 

Natasha smiled as she saw Carol's eyes fixated on her lips and brushed hers with her tongue, causing the blonde to gasp, "Your shirt sticking to your abs when you sweat," she murmured as she fingers traced the lines of Carol's sharp muscles, "that shouldn't be allowed," she added and nibbled her earlobe.

 

"I'm not sure your obsession with my abs is healthy," Carol comment to try and keep a slight bit of control.

 

"Want me to call the doc and ask her now?" Natasha asked with a smirk as she started to move off Carol's lap but the blonde stopped her and pulled her back against her body, "No no no, you stay right here," she said and kissed her girlfriends lips before letting her take her t-shirt off, "I thought we said no sex this week?" Carol asked and moaned as Natasha kissed her neck.

 

"They are gone and Pietro is too occupied to hear," Natasha replied between kisses.

 

Carol hummed before completely giving control to Natasha.

 


 

Pietro had an amazing time. He always loved kids, he loved to play with them, to make them laugh with silly faces and Nate was enjoying all of it. Time passed really quickly for them and when Natasha and Carol didn't come out of their room after two hours, Pietro took the initiative to make Nate's bottle. He keenly followed the instructions that Laura had left – initially for Carol and Natasha – and fed the baby all on his own.

 

Completely full, Nathaniel fell asleep in the next ten minutes and Pietro put him in his cradle so he could be comfortable for his nap before going back to the kitchen to prepare lunch for himself and the couple. Having super speed was really great for these kind of tasks, Pietro could make complex meals in short amounts of time, although he couldn't speed up the cooking time.

 

He was just about to be done when Carol and Natasha joined him and set the table. They sat at their usual seats and waited for the young man to serve them.

 

"Ladies! This is a special dish my mom and dad always cooked when Wanda and I were young and well behaved. I believed it's called Cholent in English, not sure. It's usually simmered for hours in liquor but, of course, my mom never wanted to serve it like that to us and I couldn't find the right one here so I had to adapt."

 

"Pietro, this smells amazing," Carol said, emphasising on the first syllable of the word amazing.

 

"Thank you," he replied as he served her, "now tell me if it tastes as good."

 

Carol devoured her plate and instantly asked for more, whereas Natasha had not even eaten half of hers. The blonde said it was her way of eating, the gobble-as-much-as-she-can way when Natasha was more of an enjoying-every-mouthful type of person. At the end of the meal, they were all full and the entire bowl Pietro had made was empty.

 

Pietro was really proud of himself and glad the couple liked a dish from his home and his culture. As a joke, he proposed to do a cooking contest back at the compound with him, Carol, Sam and Maria competing because they were the best cook, but Carol took it very seriously and was already planning it with Natasha.

 

It was time for them to go pick up the kids from school after they finished washing the dishes. Since Laura and Wanda went to the spa with Laura's mom's car, they had Laura's SUV and its eight seats. Nate was asleep during the whole drive to the school but, when his siblings arrived in the car, he started crying because they woke him with their loud giggles. They got calmer on the way back and thanks to some cuddles and a seat swapping between Pietro and Natasha – who was not driving for once – they got Nate to stop crying.

 

Back at the house, Natasha told the kids that they had to do their homework before they could play outside with Pietro so they hurried and ran to their rooms. To fasten the process, Pietro helped them while Carol and Natasha did something for the first time together, they changed Nate's diaper. Since Carol had done it more than once with Monica, she let her girlfriend do it and observed that she was quite good at it, not that it was something extremely complicated to do.

 

With the baby changed and sleeping again, the kids occupied with their homework and Pietro helping them, Natasha and Carol got a few minutes of break before having to be in charge again. They used this time to be with each other, Carol silently asking Natasha to hug her as she extended her arms. When Natasha took her hands, the blonde pulled her closer and Natasha held her as Carol pressed her head against Natasha's chest since Natasha was standing and she was sitting on the table.

 

They both loved this kind of moments, when they were just existing together, comfortable and safe, their heart beats in sync, nothing other than them that mattered.

 

For Natasha, what was the most important was that Carol was relaxing in the embrace. She knew that when she was anxious her muscles were tensed and that was not the case now, Carol was relaxed, everything was fine for her.

 

What Carol always observed was Natasha's breathing, that she had known very irregular in the past. When they were still working for S.H.I.E.L.D in Washington – when they were only friends – Carol had noticed that Natasha struggled a lot to breathe some times, and that made their sparring session even harder for her even if she often ignored her difficulties. She eventually figured out that she was struggling like that because of her anxiety, that was over the roof at the time, and did everything she could to help her on this. Since they started dating, Natasha's breathing got tremendously better but it had been fluctuating with therapy, some sessions being very hard on her. Right now, Natasha's breathing was slow and regular, indicating that nothing was bothering her or that she was not overthinking like she often did.

 

Unfortunately, their moment didn't last more than a couple minutes and was brutally interrupted by Lila and Cooper running downstairs. Pietro closely followed them and they all went outside to play football.

 

While they played, Natasha went to Laura's room because she heard Nate crying and Carol made his bottle since it was time to feed him. When Natasha had calmed her godson and put him in warm clothes, she joined Carol under the porch and they fed him while watching the kids and Pietro play.

 

Natasha was holding Nathaniel in her arms while Carol was giving him the bottle with her right hand and supporting Natasha's arm with her left one. As the baby drank his bottle, Carol daydreamed of a future life, of her and Natasha in their own house somewhere on Earth, feeding their baby while the Maximoffs and Bartons were visiting. The happiness that this simple thought gave her made her smile from ear to ear, and when Natasha noticed, she instantly understood why her girlfriend was so cheerful and tilted her head so she could kiss her temple.

 

"I know what we are doing right now isn't much but, God, it feels so good to take care of Nate."

 

Natasha chuckled, "I feel the same and I can't wait for all this to be real, and to be ours."

 

Nate done with his bottle, Carol put it away before pulling Natasha's body against hers, "I love you."

 

"I love you too," Natasha replied before Carol pressed a soft kiss on her temple.

 

So comfortable in their bubble of love, Carol and Natasha didn't notice that Pietro had stopped playing with the kids to take some pictures of them with his phone.

 

The kids enjoyed Pietro's company for another hour before they had to go take a shower. While they played, Natasha and Carol made funny faces to Nate who was wide awake after drinking his bottle and they called the kids back to the house only when he fell asleep.

 

Dinner time getting close, Carol and Pietro started preparing it while Natasha went to lie Nate down in his cradle and checked on the kids. Pietro was the one leading this time, he wanted to try another one of his parents' recipes so Carol let him and chopped the vegetables he asked her to. They pealed, chopped, stirred, and Natasha eventually joined them to set the table with the kids. No one had asked but they supposed Laura's mom would stay, which made Cooper and Lila very happy so they added a plate for her.

 

Wanda, Laura and her mom arrived at the house ten minutes before dinner was ready and the Sokovian woman instantly recognised what it was by the smell that perfumed the whole first floor.

 

"You made mutabbal," Wanda told her brother as she approached the stove where the food was still cooking, "you made it without me?"

 

"Well, Carol is a great assistant. And it's not that hard, you just suck at cooking."

 

"Hey!" Wanda exclaimed with a laughter as she punched her brother in the arm.

 

As they continue to childishly argue, Natasha and Carol joined Laura who was saying hello to her kids, "She looks good and happy. I guess it was a good idea to take her with you," Natasha observed.

 

"Yeah. She really needed to relax and talk about things that aren't her job as an Avenger or her past," Laura confirmed as she gave Natasha and Carol a greeting hug, "She and my mom talked a lot, laughed mostly. It was great to see."

 

"And you got to relax too, right?" Carol asked.

 

"I did. It was really an amazing day, thanks again for this and also thanks for taking care of the kids. Damn, I haven't seen them showered before dinner in a long time; I don't know how you did it."

 

"Well, Pietro helped a lot," Carol admitted, "Entertained the kids when we were with Nate, helped them with their homework. He even cooked lunch and looked after Nate while we were hav-" Carol abruptly stopped her sentence and swallowed, "while we were upstairs."

 

Laura coughed to pretend she didn't understand what Carol was about to say and Natasha hid her blushing face in her hands, "So he basically did all the work," Laura concluded.

 

Natasha tilted her head in disagreement, "Let's say we shared the tasks equally. I can assure you he wouldn't have survived the day without us either."

 

"So you admit you wouldn't have survived the day without him?"

 

"Actually yeah, I do," Natasha told her friend, "He has been of great help."

 

"Ladies, Cooper!" Pietro shouted and it echoed in the whole house, "dinner is served."

 

With Laura's mother in fact staying, Natasha got the chance to see a brand new joyful Wanda, the total opposite of how she was the day before when they talked with Laura. She and Pietro were making everybody laugh, from the kids to their grandmother, effortlessly, just by being Wanda and Pietro Maximoff.

 

Carol and Natasha finished eating quickly and the latter went upstairs to take her cat out of the room while Carol fed Nate with his last bottle of the day and tucking him in. When she went back to the living room, the Maximoffs, Laura and her mom were still chatting at the table and the kids were washing the dishes, a first!

 

Natasha was sitting on the couch, Liho purring on her lap as she turned on the TV, "I'd really love to lay on top of you right now but I think this little baby is too comfortable there," she said as Carol sat beside her.

 

"You know, you could just let her lie on your back," Carol noted.

 

Natasha hummed, it wasn't her favourite thing to have Liho on her back because she was hot pile of fur but her will to be laying on Carol's body was stronger than her dislike of having the black cat on her. After a sigh, she made a sign with her head to tell Carol to lie down and put the cat down before resting her tired body on her girlfriend's. Not half a minute later, Liho gracefully climbed on her owners and lied there on the small of Natasha's back.

 

As she watched the TV, Carol saw in the corner of her eyes that Natasha was slowly dozing off and wanted to laugh because she always said she couldn't sleep with Liho on her back yet every time she fell asleep. Not really focused on the television or the loud conversation that was happening in the kitchen, Carol stared at her pretty sleepy girlfriend until she joined her into sleepiness.

 

The chats went on for a long hour in the room next to theirs until Laura's mother said it was time for her to go back home. As they all accompanied her to the door, they saw the couple and their cat all asleep on the couch and had to stop themselves from expressing loudly how cute they were. On the way back to the kitchen, Pietro stopped and took another picture of them and had an idea of what he could do with it.

 

After the twins left for their room, Laura woke the couple so they would sleep on an actual bed. She took the cat off of Natasha's back and brought her to their room as Carol and Natasha slowly got up and made their way to their bedroom.

 


 

The days before Halloween were quite normal, Laura was driving her kids to school while Carol and Natasha were looking after Nate, then they would have a calm morning and make lunch all together with Wanda and Pietro. Natasha was picking up the kids at school with the twins in the afternoon and they would do their homework, play with Wanda and Pietro and finally shower before dinner.

 

They were a very well organised team but, the day of Halloween, it all went to hell, ironically.

 

Carol and Natasha were in their Adora and Catra costumes, the clothes that Natasha had bought for Carol and the hair style making her look exactly like Adora. Laura was dressed as a queen bee and her kids were little flowers, meanwhile Laura's parents were babysitting Nate at the house. The twins chose quite funny costumes because they were dressed as each other, Wanda had the classic Pietro style, hoodie, sweatpants and running shoes, while Pietro was wearing a red dress and black boots.

 

The adults were just accompanying the kids and Laura, they could have stayed in the house for the trick-or-treating but they all said they could fancy a little walk outside. On the street, Pietro was the one going with Cooper and Lila to the houses so the women could chat.

 

"Is he the great-with-kids twin?" Carol asked Wanda as they watched him counting the candy an old man give to the kids.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Well, he is the good cook of the two of you, you are the good driver," Carol explained, Natasha discreetly laughing at her for this dumb question, "so, is there one of you that is better with kids?"

 

Wanda shrugged, "I think we are both good with them in different ways. Pietro is like a clown some times, he loves to make them laugh, to play with them, to pull pranks with them. I think I'm more there for them for affection, cuddles."

 

"You are a mom and he is a dad," Laura analysed, "I mean, of course not all moms are the ones being cuddly and not all dads are the funny ones but at least that was the dynamic with me and Clint."

 

They all felt the sudden shift in Laura's behaviour after saying her late husband's name. But, at the same time, the kids and Pietro walked back to them and she didn't get the time to feel a bit of sadness as they had to go to the next house. As they walked silently, Natasha reached for Laura's back and gave a supporting pat.

 

The rest of the trick-or-treating went very well, the kids reaped enough candy for weeks, months even according to Cooper.

 

On the way back, the group ran into a couple of kids dressed up as Captain Marvel and Black Widow. They didn't recognised Natasha and Carol since they were in very different outfits as they are usually seen but it was very special for them both to see that kids wanted to dress up like them and be like them.

 

For the rest of the afternoon, they all stayed in their costumes as they chattered under the porch with Laura's parents. They eventually left – even after their daughter offered them to stay for dinner – and then they all went to change into normal clothes so they could make dinner.

 

Before going to bed, Natasha wanted to talk about something that had been bothering her with Laura and Carol but the former seemed really tired by the events of the day so she kept it to herself.

 

The next day, since it was Sunday, the kids had nothing to do on the morning so they slept in and so did the twins who were quite tired after this whole week. So, when they got up, Natasha and Carol were alone, but Laura joined after a dozen of minutes.

 

The couple was cuddling and drinking tea in the living room. Laura saw them and made her way to the armchair, served herself a cup of tea and relaxed. When Natasha was done with her hot drink, she checked the time and supposed it could be the right moment for her to talk with Laura and Carol.

 

After putting her cup on the coffee table, Natasha sat up and spoke, "I um… wanna talk to the two of you about something."

 

"Sure, Nat," Laura said after a sip of tea.

 

Carol moved closer to her girlfriend and gently rubbed her back, "Is everything okay, baby?"

 

"Yeah… I've just been able to think a lot this week and um…" Natasha paused and took a deep breath, "I guess that being around here, seeing the kids and talking to you and Wanda about Clint made me realised I'm not as over his death as I thought I was."

 

"What do you mean?" Laura asked.

 

"I thought that my therapist dealt with my grief and in some ways she did but it was just on the moment," Natasha explained and sniffled, "Right now I see this house and I wanna cry because he is not there, I carry Nate in my arms and I wanna scream at the world. It's like I just buried it deep down but it's coming back."

 

"I don't think you buried it," Laura replied, "I think you did grieve him but when you see things that remind you of very specific moments the pain comes back, it's the same for me."

 

"How so?"

 

"You said that seeing the house makes you wanna cry. Well, for me, some times, seeing you and Carol makes me wanna cry because I remember precise moments, like when he learnt you two were dating and how happy he was for you, Nat. I'm sure he never told you but we talked about it after you told us and he said that one of his many wishes in life became reality, because you were finally going to be happy and loved like you deserve to be."

 

A few tears ran down Natasha's cheeks as she imagined her best friend smiling and happy, "Wow," she let out in a sigh.

 

"Yeah. Those are very hard moments for me because I love the two of you but the hurt is strong. I'm glad you are there, it's just some things that you do that can remind me of him. It doesn't mean I didn't grieve, it just means I'm not forgetting him."

 

"I suppose you're right," Natasha concluded before turning to Carol, "and don't you start to think you've been a bad girlfriend for not seeing that I was troubled about this. You couldn't have known."

 

Carol softly smiled and took Natasha's hand in hers, "I won't, promise. But I'm glad you came to us."

 

"Me too."

 

Natasha and Carol spent the rest of the day in their room to cuddle and talk more about Clint. Carol thought Natasha should wear her arrow necklace everyday – just like she was wearing her dog tag everyday – to always be reminded of him, that way, the special memories would hurt less. The redhead had been wearing this necklace only when she missed him, because she was trying a lot not to, but she had to admit that it was not the right way to grieve.

 

She didn't want to forget his existence, of course, she just wanted to be able to think of him without wanting to cry. For now, it was almost impossible, but with Laura's and Carol's help, Natasha believed she could do it.

 

For their last night at the Barton house, Natasha, Carol and the Maximoffs watched a movie with the kids and Laura. The usual pairs were all mixed up, Wanda had one leg on Natasha's lap, Carol was in an armchair with Cooper, Lila was on the other side of the room, sleeping in Pietro's arms and Natasha was resting her head on Laura's shoulder. They had a really great time but it eventually was the moment for them all to go to bed, the kids having school the next day and the Avengers having to leave early.

 

The goodbyes were bittersweet but full of love and gratefulness for each and everyone of them. When Laura took the car to bring the kids to school, Natasha, Carol and the twins left the house to go back to the compound.

 

The ride was silent at first, they were all thinking about the best moments of the week but they quickly chatted about it, and after the change of driver, they sang along to the songs Natasha was playing.

 

At the compound, they found Rhodey and Sam who were already back and they all told their best vacation stories around cups of tea and coffee until the night came.

 

Chapter 49: Hanukkah

Notes:

Tomorrow will mark the first anniversary of this fiction, which is really crazy when I think about it. When I started writing it I didn't think we would reach the 50th chapters – although I knew it would be a long one – so this chapter marks something big for me. I doubt it will have a second anniversary, even if I haven't finished to write it yet I can tell that it should be over around the eighth chapter, which means it will still know the year 2022 and again that's crazy.
I do it often but it is really important to me to thank my readers, your kudos and comments give me so much energy to continue and create more stories about Natasha and Carol and the MCU in general.
I've joked with a friend about retiring from writing when this fiction is done but the truth is that I have too many ideas that I need to get out of my head and, as long as there are some of you all to read them, I'll write them.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Going back to the normal schedule of training had been hard for everybody but they were all eventually back on track. What motivated the team the most was that they were going to get another ten days of vacation for the end of the year, starting on the 24th of December.

 

Maria informed the whole team that, while they were chilling, some people had found HYDRA agents and arrested them. To have a shorter – or nicer – prison sentence, some of them gave informations about where others were hiding, so the New Avengers would have their first real mission on the field to catch bad guys soon. They were all very excited about it, the only missions they had had were spying, which was not so bad but they rather fight than stay in the dark.

 

As they promised, Carol and Natasha were going to celebrate Hanukkah with the twins this year, and a day before the holidays, Wanda asked if Vision could join too. The couple didn't see any reasons to say no but Pietro was less enthusiastic about it.

 

But Hanukkah happening at the beginning of the month and their holidays not matching the dates, they had to adjust. Natasha felt bad for not respecting the traditions but Pietro assured that it was fine, their parents were not always respecting them either. In the end, they were going to celebrate the last day of Hanukkah on the 28th of December and would mix both Christmas and Hanukkah. Since they didn't know much about the celebration, Natasha and Carol let the twins lead the organisation and ordered what they could, food and the gift for the twins.

 

For Pietro they got two pairs of running shoes, not only because of his powers but also because the ones he was using for training looked like they had been chewed by a dog. Wanda had written down a few ideas and the couple picked two of them, a few books that she wanted to read and that were not in the many shelves of the compound and a guitar because the young woman wanted to learn how to play music.

 

As for each other's gifts, they bought things that they could both use, even if they knew who it would benefit the most. Carol got an assortment of massage oils, Natasha loved her massages but she could also give some, some times. The redhead went for sport clothes and a suit for her girlfriend, which she would definitely enjoy more than her because it perfectly highlighted Carol's curves and she fitted in them too – even if it was a little too large on her.

 

The morning of the 28th, Natasha woke up and sneaked out of bed to go make breakfast for Carol. She was – most of the time – the one on the receiving end of the breakfast in bed and thought it could be nice to return the favour on this special day.

 

When she arrived in the common kitchen, she found Pietro already working on lunch. He was so focused on what he was doing that he barely acknowledged her presence and she didn't even bother to try to talk to him, knowing it would disturb his process.

 

On her way back to her room, Natasha ran into Wanda and Vision who were going to the kitchen. Natasha supposed they were going to help Pietro.

 

In the bedroom, Carol was awake – which didn't surprise Natasha that much – and waiting for her breakfast. As they often did on their free days, Natasha and Carol spent a big part of the morning in bed, cuddling and chatting, until it was time for them to get ready for lunch.

 

Since the twins had prepared the entire day, they supposed they had to dress up already. Natasha wore her favourite red dress with matching lipstick and Carol had a classic night blue suit. After doing her hair up in a bun, Natasha braided Carol's hair and they were finally ready.

 

In the dinning room, the table was almost set, only the candles weren't lit and Vision quickly did before welcoming the couple and leading them to their seats. Only the candles with nine branches remained off for the time being, the tradition was to light it up at sundown.

 

Soon, Wanda and Pietro stepped into the dinning room with a first dish that they presented like an appetiser, Latkes with home-made apple sauce. This kind of potato pancakes were one of the twins' mom's favourite dish, especially with the sauce that her husband made to perfection. As the true first course, Pietro served a Matzo ball soup that Natasha really loved.

 

While they were eating, Vision (who does eat or sleep) was keeping an eye on the next course that he helped serving with Pietro when it was ready. The main course was beef brisket with a side of roasted carrots and a mushroom sauce. And finally, for dessert, Wanda had made a cinnamon apple cake – without knowing that it was Carol's favourite cake.

 

After lunch, they settled in the living room, Carol and Natasha on their usual seats on one of the couches. For a big part of the afternoon, Pietro and Wanda explained to Vision, Carol and Natasha what was Hanukkah, what it celebrated and what were the traditional rituals that were done during this whole week. The couple – as well as Vision – were closely listening and appreciated to learn about the Jewish religion and culture.

 

Both atheist, Natasha and Carol never really thought about educating themselves on the different religions of Earth – even if Carol had heard a lot about those in space – but they found it very interesting. They especially loved the way Wanda and Pietro were telling the origins and stories and how they viewed it when they were young and now that they are young adults.

 

They discussed about religion and many other subjects – with Vision bringing their knowledge on contentious matters – for a couple hours but the twins eventually had to go back to the kitchen, "We have to make dinner so you can do what you want for a few hours," Pietro told them and left with Wanda for the kitchen.

 

Carol and Natasha didn't see anything else to do than going to their room for more cuddles. They joined Liho on the bed and Natasha read a book while Carol was on her phone.

 

"Did you gave Liho her food this morning?" Carol asked (it was usually her job to do).

 

Natasha chuckled, "Trust me if I hadn't she would be meowing in our ears right now."

 

"That's true."

 

A few minutes later, Carol tossed her phone on the bed and moved away from Natasha to cuddle with Liho, who was peacefully napping at the edge of the bed. She loved this cat so much, they both did, she was bringing them simple joy when they were not in a good mood or she was making them laugh when she was being clumsy. But Carol was looking for comfort and she was always finding it when she was cuddling with her.

 

However, Carol cuddling with Liho that way was often a sign that she wasn't at her best and Natasha noticed, "You okay my love? You look… concerned."

 

"I'm fine, just thinking about something I talked about with my therapist yesterday."

 

"Anything I should worry about?"

 

"No, don't worry," Carol assured but she saw that Natasha was not convinced so she sat beside her and explained, "We've been talking about who Carol Danvers is and who I want to be and become. It made me realise that I've kinda had five lives in one life time and that they weren't really connected."

 

"What do you mean?" Natasha asked as she put her book on her nightstand.

 

"Well, from the day I was born to my eighteenth birthday I lived with my dad and brother, that's life number one. Then I was in the air force, met Maria until I was twenty-nine and got abducted by the Kree. I was with them for six years before discovering the truth and the I became Captain Marvel and flew around the universe until I met you. My life with you is my fifth life."

 

Natasha took Carol's hands in hers, "Right… That's um-"

 

"A fucking lot to accept," the blonde completed, "Since she brought that up I can't stop thinking about it, about the fact that I've been at least three different persons in my life."

 

"And which one is your favourite?" Natasha wondered with a hint of a smile on her face.

 

"What?"

 

"You said you talked about who you wanted to be so I'm asking which one of the three Carols is your favourite."

 

"The one I'm with you, obviously," Carol replied in a heartbeat, "Carol in the sixties and seventies was closeted and oppressed by her father. When I got out of the family house I got to embrace who I really was but it's only when I met you that I found myself, who I really want to be. I think I can easily say that I had never been truly happy before I met you."

 

"Damn, baby, I think that's the most beautiful thing you could have told me. There is nothing I want more than for you to be happy."

 

Carol smiled as she leaned and pressed a soft kiss on Natasha's lips, "Well, I am, thanks to you."

 

"I love you so much, Carol. I'm sorry it took me so long to say it."

 

"Hey, don't," Carol said and cupped Natasha's cheeks, "It never was a problem that you weren't saying it, you were showing it in your own ways, your own adorable loving ways."

 

"Well now I wanna say it every time I see you."

 

"And I'll say it back every time," Carol replied and kissed Natasha again, "I love you, baby."

 

"Love you more," Natasha said against Carol's lips.

 

Before they could even think about making out, Friday warned them that dinner was ready. Reluctantly, they got out of bed and made their way to the dinning room. Again, everything was set on the table and the food was served the next minute.

 

The dinner was lighter than lunch had been, the twins only made a main course and a dessert. The meat was the same as for lunch but it had been cooked differently, like the Maximoffs' mother used to do it and the side was roasted Brussels sprouts. Dessert was a chocolate and orange Challah, a braided bread that was usually eaten during the meal but the twins turned it into a dessert.

 

At the end of the meal, as tradition required, Wanda and Pietro lit of the candle with nine branches and then they all went to the living room to exchange their presents. Carol and Natasha kept the ones they got for each other in their room but they gave the ones they got for the twins. Vision said he didn't want any gift, he didn't understand why it was so important for humans to own objects but Wanda still bought him some clothes so he could more fit in.

 

When it came to the twins to offer their present to the couple, they sat down with them and handed them two things with the same shape, "It's from the both of us and for the two of you," Wanda told them.

 

"Yeah, I'm not even sure which one I gave you, Natasha," Pietro added with a chuckle.

 

Excited, Carol and Natasha opened their gifts in sync and both gasped twice, the first time when they saw the framed picture they had in their hands and the second when they saw the one in the other's hands. In Carol's hand was a picture of her, Natasha and Liho at the Bartons', when they sleeping on the couch, and Natasha's was a picture of her, Carol and Nathaniel when they were feeding him under the porch.

 

"Wow, these are amazing pictures," Carol said, in awe.

 

"Pietro took them and I had the idea to frame them when he showed them to me," Wanda explained.

 

Natasha couldn't get her eyes off the photographs and stayed speechless for a long minute before thanking them, "Guys, this is such a great present, thank you so much.

 

"Yeah, thank you," Carol agreed and stood up to thank them with hugs.

 

They exchanged thank yous and good nights for a moment and then went separate ways as it was time for bed.

 

In their rooms, Carol put the pictures she was given on her piano, Natasha put hers on her nightstand and they went to bed.

 

After a restful night, Natasha and Carol woke up and spent some extra time in bed to cuddle together. Than, as usual, Liho started to meow to ask for her morning food and Carol got up to give it to her while Natasha was being her lazy self like every morning and stayed in bed. On her way to the bathroom – where Liho's bowl was – Carol asked Friday to open the blinds and, as she gave the cat her food, Natasha suddenly squealed, which caused her to drop Liho's biscuits on the floor.

 

"Baby, what's going on?" asked a worried Carol as she stormed out of the bathroom to find Natasha standing on the bed and looking at the window.

 

When Carol looked in the direction her girlfriend was looking, she understood her excitement, "It's snowing!" she exclaimed before rushing to the window, "It hasn't snowed in years!" she added and turned around to find Carol standing behind her.

 

"If I didn't know you I'd think you are five years old," Carol commented as she pulled the redhead towards her.

 

"You call me baby after all," Natasha noted as she smirked, "I can act as one."

 

After a light chuckle, Carol kissed Natasha's cheek and then let her look at the snow again, "I once talked with Wanda about snow and she said she and Pietro have always loved it, we have to go outside and build a snowman with them."

 

"Wow! Now I really believe you are five years old," Carol laughed in Natasha's ear as she held her from behind, "Can we get breakfast first? Some hot chocolate for the occasion."

 

"We are definitely making hot chocolate!"

 

In the kitchen, the twins were already dressed for the cold weather and making hot drinks, "Ah! There you are," Pietro exclaimed as he poured chocolate in mugs, "It might sound childish but we want to go out and play in the snow, wanna join?"

 

Carol did her best not to laugh but didn't succeed, "You should have seen her when she saw the snow, an actual kid."

 

"What Carol's trying to say is that we are going out there and doing a snowman contest."

 

The twins were suddenly even more excited and finished their drinks to go outside. Natasha and Carol snickered as they followed them from afar, the blonde taking hers and Natasha's coat on the way to make sure they wouldn't get cold.

 

Pietro must have used his powers to get his own winter clothes and his sister's because they were now perfectly dressed for the cold weather.

 

"So, how does this snowman contest works," the young man asked.

 

After a short private dialogue with Natasha, Carol clapped her hands and spoke up, "Okay so you guys have half an hour to make the best snowman. I'll be the judge and the winner will have my forever respect."

 

"How is this fair? Natasha is your girlfriend, you are obviously biased!" Wanda protested.

 

"When it comes to competition, I am always partial, Miss Maximoff."

 

"Right," she grumbled.

 

Pietro raised his hand, "Can we use our powers to build?"

 

Carol shrugged, "Yeah, why not."

 

At that, Natasha tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows, "Now I just can't win."

 

"Of course you can," Carol assured as she stepped closer to her girlfriend and took her hands, "You don't need powers to be better than me at fighting, you can beat two kids at a snowman contest. I believe in you."

 

Natasha blushed at the compliment and smiled as she shyly kissed her girlfriend's lips to thank her. Then, she joined the twins on the concrete where it was still snowing and Carol sat on a chair on the patio that was protected with a pergola.

 

They all stood a few meters away from each other to have their own space and snow. They were all waiting for Carol to let them start and she made them wait for her own pleasure, she knew that they hated waiting for a competition.

 

"You may begin," she eventually exclaimed and they all started to build their snowmen.

 

With her bare hands, Natasha made a large snowball that she then rolled all over the ground to make it bigger. Meanwhile, Wanda was using her powers to gather a big pile of snow, about half her high, and Pietro was running all over the place, his construction advancing very quickly. Seeing that he was ahead of his concurrence, Carol asked him to go get the Polaroid in her room and he was a back a dozen of seconds later with the device.

 

Carol couldn't stop herself from taking pictures of her girlfriend in her beanie and moon boots, she was too pretty and rarely in those clothes for the blonde to not photograph her. The few strands of her red hair that were outside of the beanie were covered with snow flakes, her cheeks and the tip of her nose red because of the negative temperature, which made her even more beautiful to Carol's eyes. She wanted to stop the contest just so she could go see her and kiss her cheeks and hold her in her arms to warm her up but she knew it would make the three competitors upset.

 

When they only had five minutes left, Carol told them and they all went faster, even if they were starting to be tired. The two women were so focused on building their snowmen that they did see that Pietro didn't made one but three snowmen and was working on the fourth.

 

The thirty minutes mark passed and Carol shouted to stop them. After one last look at their works, Wanda and Natasha saw Pietro's whole family of snowmen and gasped.

 

"And you said I could win even against their powers," Natasha groaned as she pointed at Pietro's snowmen, "you literally can't give the win to Wanda or me now."

 

"I was done with mine after ten minutes so I figured I could do more," explain a provocative Pietro, acting like what he did wasn't too much when they were just playing and having a nice time.

 

"You know Pete, you are lucky that Carol and Wanda like you so much otherwise I would already have buried you in the snow," Natasha threatened.

 

Wanda agreed, "I could help her, you know. It'd be easy to make your little insolent ass disappear."

 

Seeing that both Natasha and Wanda were very pissed, standing side by side with their arms crossed and brows furrowed, Carol stepped forward, "Okay, let's do something. Pietro, you choose one of your snowmen and I'll only judge this one. Is that okay for everybody?"

 

They all vocally agreed and Pietro pointed at the snowman he wanted to be judged, "This one, I made it first. It was supposed to be our dad but I can't quite remember how tall he was since I was smaller than him when he died," the young Sokovian explained, his voice full with emotion, "and that was our family. Mama, Wanda and that's me," he chuckled and looked at Wanda, "at the time we were the same height."

 

"Pietro," Wanda breathed before joining her brother to hug him.

 

"That is actually very nice," Natasha commented as she closed the space that separated her from Carol and rested her chin on her shoulder, "give him the win, I don't care anymore. It will make him happy and he needs it."

 

"Okay," Carol replied and kissed Natasha's forehead, "I've decided. You win Pete, congrats. You have my forever respect."

 

With Wanda still in his arms, Pietro winked, "Thanks Cap."

 

The couple walked back under the pergola to let the twins have some privacy. As Natasha watched them, Carol fixed her hair that was soaked because of the snowflakes it had been covered of.

 

"I was gonna give you the win, you know," Carol told Natasha as she pulled her in her arms.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Of course. Do you think I didn't see what you were doing? The star on the chest and the Mohawk, you made me."

 

"I made Captain Marvel," Natasha corrected, "If I wanted to make you I would have made an idiot."

 

Carol pressed her lips together to stop herself from laughing, "I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that," she muttered, faking annoyance, and clenched her jaw.

 

"But I love this idiot, you know, so much," Natasha added and wrapped her arms around Carol's neck, "I know," the blonde replied as she held her tight, "I love you too."

 

After a long minute of hugging, Natasha gently pulled out and cupped Carol's face, "Hey, you know I don't mean it, right? You are my smart baby, I'm so proud of you."

 

Even if she knew all this, Carol always appreciated to hear it, "I know, baby. Thank you," she said and kissed her lips, "damn, your hands are so cold," she noted as her own hands reached Natasha's.

 

"Well, I was working with snow for thirty minutes so it makes sense."

 

"You could have put on mitten," Carol wisely pointed out.

 

"Fair point," Natasha replied as she observed Carol as she opened her coat and guided her hands under her sweater. Then, she felt Carol's skin, her abs, and they suddenly warmed up as she used her powers, "Normal people use their hands for this, you know."

 

"Yeah but why not combine business with pleasure?" Carol replied with a smirk.

 

"Business being warming my hands and pleasure touching your abs, actually it makes a lot of sense."

 

"I know right! Came up with it my self!" Carol said proudly.

 

"See, you really are a smart baby."

 

Carol giggled as Natasha pressed a tender kiss on her lips, "I guess I am," she whispered and closed the gap between their lips once again.

 

After breaking the kiss, Carol kept her eyes closed and pulled Natasha in her arms, the red haired woman tucking her face in the crook of her neck – as usual. Natasha still had her hands under Carol's sweater but they were not on her abs anymore, they were around her waist, pulling her as close as possible.

 

They could hear nothing but each other's breathing until Wanda giggled. Intrigued, Natasha slightly opened her eyes and saw that Pietro was – again – taking pictures of them with his phone.

 

"Maximoff, you have to learn to ask people for consent before taking a picture."

 

Pietro almost dropped his phone as Natasha's comment surprised him, he had not seen that she was aware of his doing. He shared a glance with his sister who grimaced and mouthed a little sorry.

 

Carol didn't move a bit, she couldn't care less about Pietro taking pictures of her and Natasha. It was even nice in a way, she got free photos that they could develop and she liked that she and Natasha could be an example of what a great relationship can be.

 

But they had to be interrupted again, when they were not in their room there was always someone there to ask them something or that wanted to hang out. This time it was Vision. They apparently had been looking for them everywhere but didn't think that they could be outside because 'the cold weather usually doesn't attract humans'. He got to learn that humans tolerated cold when it was snowing.

 

"I heard that it is funny to play with snow, how does one do that?" he asked and Wanda replied by throwing a snowball in his face, "Ah, I see."

 

Vision and Wanda started to run around the patio and threw snowballs at each other. Natasha, being a big fan of snowball fights as well, wanted to join them. After a kiss on Carol's cheek, she knelt down, formed a snowball and ran after Wanda. Carol stayed protected under the pergola and watched them having fun. Meanwhile, Pietro slowly walked in her direction and stood beside her as he stared at his sister.

 

"It's nice that you and Wanda got along with Vision so well," Carol observed as the new Avengers were teaming up against her girlfriend, "And also it's really important for the team."

 

Pietro chuckled dryly, "I'm not sure we really get along," he said and understood he had to explain himself when Carol rose an eyebrow, "let's just say that Wanda likes him so I'm doing my best to be friendly. Although since they met I feel like she is pushing me away and you are giving her more importance in training so I feel kind of useless."

 

"You are not useless, Pietro," Carol assured as she patted his shoulder, "It is true that Wanda is powerful, she has amazing powers and I am focusing on her because of what she can do but I also see you, Pete. I know you need some attention too and I want to give it to you. Wanda might be more powerful than you, maybe she is even more powerful than me, but such power needs to be controlled and you have such a good effect on her, you calm her, you are her anchor and it is as valuable as what she can do."

 

Pietro smiled at her, which was a good thing but Carol knew she would have to prove that she valued him, "Now as for her and Vision, I can't give you any advice because I'm not hanging out enough with you guys to know how it goes but one thing you could do is telling her how you feel about that. You two have a connection that no one else can understand, your twin link is more powerful than anything, even love, but it doesn't mean that you'll never face difficulties. When those happen you have to be a team and face them together instead of keeping it to yourself."

 

"You think our connection is stronger than yours with Natasha?" Pietro genuinely asked.

 

"It's not exactly the same. Natasha and I are lovers, she is the love of my life, we understand each other, but you and Wanda, it's innate, you were born with this connection and feel things that Natasha and I could never comprehend."

 

The young man nodded, "Alright, I will talk to her soon."

 

Carol smiled, "It's what's best for the two of you, Pete. It can be hard to put words on what you feel but I assure you it will all be worth it."

 

"Thanks Cap, for everything."

 

"No problem Pietro, you know I'm here for you."

 

"You two are coming or what?" Natasha exclaimed as she threatened to throw a snowball at them.

 

Carol joined Natasha to help her against Wanda and Vision. Pietro decided to mess with them all, he was using his powers to go hide and make many snowballs and then he came back and threw them at everybody.

 

They played like this until their clothes and hair were soaked. Natasha and Carol excused themselves and let the twins and Vision figure out another way to play together.

 

On the way to their room, Carol confided in Natasha about Pietro's changing relationship with his sister and his struggle to get along with Vision and to accept their relationship with Wanda. Natasha was surprised, just like Carol, she thought the three of them were friends but it seemed that Pietro put on a front so no one noticed he was actually pretending to like Vision.

 

Natasha supposed that all the changes that happened in the Maximoffs lives – the move to the US, becoming Avengers and these new relationships – were hard to handle for Pietro and he was hiding it because he didn't want anyone to worry about him, especially his sister. But hopefully his therapist said that he was making great progress and that he was willing to talk and be helped. On their end, Carol and Natasha could show him that he was important to the team but when it concerned his relationship with Vision and his sister, they rather stay out of it and let them handle it.

 

The couple decided to take a bath to warm up their bodies numbed by the cold of the snow and the wind. Carol entered first and sat comfortably before Natasha joined her, her back pressed against her chest.

 

In the hot and bubbly water, Carol and Natasha completely chilled. The redhead asked Friday to play one of her playlists to be even more relaxed. Carol had her head pressed on the side of Natasha's, enjoying the scent of her hair as she ran the fingertips of her middle and pointing fingers up and down Natasha's forearm that was resting on the edge of the bathtub.

 

As often when they were taking a bath, Liho climbed on the edge to get some chin scratches and caresses on her fluffy back. Neither Carol or Natasha could resist the cat when she was purring and asking for caresses, she was too adorable. This time, Carol was the one pleasing Liho, the volume of her purring increasing as she scratched the top of her head.

 

"She got too comfortable," Natasha noted, "she thinks she is the queen of this room."

 

"She kinda is though," Carol giggled, "and she even reigns on the whole compound, everybody loves her."

 

"We should take her outside to show her why we aren't letting her go."

 

"Although it would be hard to lose a black cat in the middle of the snow," Carol pointed out.

 

Natasha rolled her eyes, "It's more about the cold than it is about the snow."

 

"I was joking, baby."

 

"I know but I like to annoy you," Natasha replied and stuck her tongue out at the blonde who did the same.

 

"We'll show her the snow, later," Carol eventually agreed.

 

Liho left after a couple of minute of cuddles, surely to go sleep or eat – her two favourite activities. Natasha was getting so comfortable in this bath that she felt she could fall asleep. They enjoyed their bath until the water started to cool down and put on three layers of clothes and their coats to bring Liho outside.

 

The cat was indeed sleeping on the bed when they got out of the bathroom so Natasha slowly woke her and tucked her in her coat.

 

"You know cats have fur for a reason," Carol teased as she observed her girlfriend overprotecting Liho by adding a scarf around her.

 

"She's never been outside in such a cold weather before, I don't want her to get sick."

 

Carol chuckled, "You are so soft with her."

 

"I'm soft with who I love, you of all people should know," Natasha said and kissed Carol's lips, "take the Polaroid in case she does something cute."

 

Natasha was about to go outside when Carol stopped her because she had forgotten to put on her beanie, "I don't want you to get cold either," Carol told her as she put it on her head and then kissed her forehead, "Let's go."

 

When they opened the French door, they felt the freezing wind on their skin and Natasha looked back at Carol with a proud face, wordlessly telling her she had been right to wrap Liho in a scarf. It was less snowing than when the couple, the twins and Vision played earlier but there was still a few snowflakes falling from the while sky.

 

At first not really interested by the snow, Liho quickly became curious when a flake fell on her nose. Carol took pictures right away, she couldn't miss Liho's little meows of surprise when a snowflake got stuck in her whiskers or on her ears. Natasha couldn't get her eyes off of her, she was mesmerised but how adorable was this young cat that she had found by accident.

 

For a dozen of minutes, they were outside, enjoying the weather, making Liho have her first steps on the snow – that Carol had to photograph. Then, they went back inside and cuddled while watching an old movie, one of their favourite activities now that they had Liho.

Notes:

I did some research before writing this chapter because I didn't know much about Hanukkah. I hope what I wrote is okay and not disrespectful to the Jewish religion in any way, if so please tell me in the comments so I can change it.

Chapter 50: Power testing

Chapter Text

A week after the new year, everything went back to normal at the compound. The newbies had a new training schedule, it was a bit lighter but not at all less exhausting. The thing was that they had two days of break in the week again but they never knew when because they could be sent on missions some times, and when they had one their break was the two days after they came back, otherwise it was on the Saturday and Sunday. On the few missions they had, it was always two or three of them going and either Carol or Natasha in charge to coordinate the whole thing.

 

The logical duos were Wanda/Pietro and Sam/Rhodey but Natasha and Carol didn't like logic and switched it up because they had to be able to all work together. So during the first missions were teaming up Rhodey and Wanda, then Vision and Sam and then Pietro, Rhodey and Vision. Carol initially wanted to send Pietro alone with Vision for this third mission but Natasha advised her to add Rhodey to the team since the young man and the Synthezoid weren't really getting along. Hopefully, all missions were successful and cheered up the team.

 

After a few weeks of this routine, Maria assigned the Avengers for a forth mission and this time Sam, Rhodey and Vision were going. Wanda complained about not going, she had only been on one mission and it was a long time ago, she was hoping it was her turn but Carol needed her and Pietro for something else. Maria exceptionally was in charge this time so Carol and Natasha could have a moment with the twin.

 

What Carol wanted was to have more experimentations of hers and Wanda's powers, to see how much emotions-driven they were and if it could be controlled. That was why Pietro couldn't be sent on mission either, he was the person Wanda loved the most, he understood her better than anyone else and could help her a lot. Natasha was of course this person for Carol and had been preparing for this day, she read studies on how to use emotions in a positive way, although there was nothing about enhanced individuals.

 

The first day of the mission, Carol told Wanda about her plans and they decided to do their tests the next day, which happened to be Valentine's day. The couple hadn't anything out of the ordinary planned for the occasion, they would just go out for dinner, so it wasn't much of a problem. Wanda still insisted to let Carol have as much alone time with Natasha as possible so they were going to do the tests in the morning and the beginning of the afternoon.

 

The next morning, Carol woke up and did her routine – feeding Liho, showering and dressing – before meeting Wanda in the control room of Tony's lab.

 

"When you said tests I didn't think we would do them in a closet," Wanda said as Carol entered.

 

The blonde chuckled, "That's just for part one, the part where we don't need Pete and Natasha," Carol explained and gave the young Sokovian a greeting hug.

 

"Right, so I guess I have to listen."

 

"Yep, I have a few things to show you," Carol turned the screens on and showed the graphic of her first power tests, "The other time with Natasha and Tony, they used virtual reality glasses to put me in different scenarios, the idea was to figure out if my feelings were indeed what made me use more energy."

 

"So the different colours are the different scenarios?" Wanda asked.

 

"Yes. The first one was a normal fight, nothing involving my feelings. The second was about my frustration, the third about hatred and the last, love."

 

Wanda eyes widened, "Damn, love really makes you do crazy things," she said as she pointed at the highest number, "you tripled the energy there and it's compared to the third scenario, not the first, it's insane."

 

"I know, that's why we need to work on controlling because you are most likely just like me."

 

"I don't see why it is a problem," Wanda commented, "it's normal that we use our powers more when it's about something personal."

 

"It's more about not being able to do it when it's not personal that is a problem. Imagine I need a blast as powerful as the one I did to save Natasha but, because it's not Natasha, I can't and people die, that's a big problem."

 

"Okay so we must be able to control our emotions in order to be at our maximal capacities all the time, that's what I get from this."

 

"Basically, yes."

 

"Easier said then done," Wanda grumbled.

 

"Don't worry, I'm aware, but I'm sure Pietro and Natasha can help us with that."

 

"I have to be honest, I don't understand how our weak spot could help us more than anything else."

 

"It's because we know you better than you know yourselves," Natasha said as she stepped inside the room with Pietro, "Good morning, my love," she added and kissed Carol's lips, "You two get an earpiece and go in the lab while Pete and I stay here, I've got some ideas on how the weak spots could help."

 

Wanda and Carol did as asked and waited for further informations. Natasha had not told her ideas to anyone, not even Carol or Tony, but she hoped what she found out on the studies she read would help.

 

"Guys can you all hear me?' Natasha asked in her mic and they all gave positive answers so she continued, "Great. So, I read in many articles that meditation helps a lot to control your emotion when a stressful event is coming and I assumed a fight could be considered as such. Now, I know that we can't anticipated when a fight will happen so you can't just meditate before to have more control over your feelings and powers but meditating on a regular basis could be as efficient."

 

"So what? We are going to meditate?" Wanda wondered.

 

"Kind of. You and Carol will have to include meditation in your schedule from now on in order to have more control over your feelings but today we are going to do something special. While meditating, Pietro and I are going to talk to you, to help you concentrate on an objective and to be successful. For Carol, the objective is to reach a level of power as strong as possible in a neutral environment and for Wanda, since we have no data, I just want you to have a linear increase of strength."

 

"How can you calculate the strength of her powers?" Pietro asked.

 

"Good question, I forgot to mention that. Wanda, every time you will feel like you reached another step, just us your powers on the wall in front of you, it has captors."

 

"Okay then," Carol said and sat on the floor, "Let's meditate."

 

After Natasha told Carol and Wanda to start a breathing exercise, she muted her microphone to explain to Pietro what he would have to do, "When they will both be in the right state, you and Wanda will be on an isolated frequency and I will be with Carol so you will be on your own to help her. What I need you to do is to guide her to reach different steps as I said earlier, but you have to do it a specific way. You can't tell her to think about memories that could make her angry or sad or happy, that's the opposite of what we want. You have to find ways to do it with images that aren't related to her life, to find the right metaphors."

 

Pietro chuckled dryly, "That sounds really not simple."

 

"I know, but that's how it has to be. Maybe try to use the image of a cursor that climbs up, use the results that you will get on this screen to help her adjust. You could even tell her to use her powers none stop and try to regulate to strength of it, I don't know if it'd work but it's an idea."

 

"The cursor, the results on the screen, got it."

 

"Perfect. So while I'm helping them with the meditation maybe you could write down ideas," Natasha advised and turned on her mic.

 

Surprisingly, Carol was very receptive to Natasha's indications and guidance when she expected her to struggle. Wanda, on the other hand, had a hard time keeping her eyes shut and her breathing even, which caused some frustration. She eventually got to the state Natasha wanted her to be and there started the most complex part.

 

Considering how well Carol had reacted to the meditation, Natasha had less doubt about their success on this test but she worried for Wanda and Pietro. Since the platinum blond man had confided in Carol about his relationship with Wanda and Vision, the couple had not heard of it and Natasha was quite sure that – unlike he said he would – Pietro didn't talk to Wanda about it. If it was the case, it could have a bad effect on this experiment and the fact that Pietro didn't know as much as Natasha about how to do it could make it even worse.

 

But Natasha had faith in them and she knew they could overcome any struggle to help each other so she let them do their thing and focused on Carol. She wanted to have more data, to see if Carol could control the energy within her and for that she would do like what she advised Pietro, get her to certain points, guide her to, hopefully, reach their goal quickly.

 

Natasha had thought about how she could help Carol and using her past in the military seemed to be a right fit. She was asking her to visualise the speed counter of a plane, or a car, or whatever Carol was most comfortable with. Then, she asked her to think of the strength of her powers as this counter and to try to progressively increase the power of her blasts. She was taking her time to concentrate as Natasha told her to focus on the needle of the counter, to imagine it moving after each blast and the results Natasha had on the screen were promising.

 

Beside Natasha, Pietro was trying his best but Wanda kept telling him his advices weren't helping which was very frustrating for him. He had been very enthusiastic when Carol talked about this experiment, he was finally going to be useful to his sister and her struggle with understanding the depth of her powers but it was like she wasn't trying, like she didn't want it to work.

 

Natasha could hear the frustration building up in Pietro's voice even through her headphone. She tried to ignore it but it was even disturbing Carol on the other side as she was hearing Wanda complaining about her brother.

 

"Carol, you are doing great, don't let anything external distract you."

 

Before she could answer, Wanda shouted at her brother "You are so not helping, Pietro!"

 

"Right! I guess Vision would be more helpful, wouldn't he? Since you seem to like 'em more than me," Pietro yelled back.

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

Knowing these comments would put a stop to the test, Natasha took her headset off after she told Carol to come back.

 

"This is wonderful," Carol sighed and got up, "the test is over," she added more firmly as she helped Wanda on her feet and led her to the control room.

 

"You two need to deal with your shit," Natasha told Wanda and Pietro.

 

"What shit? Five minutes ago I didn't know there was shit going on!"

 

"Of course you don't know, you are too busy spending time with your new boyfriend to notice me."

 

"Vision is not my boyfriend," Wanda replied.

 

"Yeah, right! It's your sex toy."

 

"Hey! Stop!" Carol intervened, "You both need to calm the fuck down and talk this through, yelling won't bring anything positive, I assure you."

 

Pietro and Wanda were both very surprised to hear Carol raising her voice, it might even be the first time she was angry in their presence. Intimidated by her anger and the possibility of being scolded, they turned silent and looked down in shame.

 

"Communication is key, whatever the relationship, so you two need to say what you have inside in order to move forward," Carol explained with a calmer tone, "Pietro, you start."

 

Frowning, Pietro looked at his sister and, after a short sigh, spoke up, "I feel like since you met Vision you don't talk to me anymore and you also don't care about me how you used to."

 

"That's not-" Wanda began with a loud voice but Natasha stopped her, "Huh-uh, communication is calm, you are not arguing right now. Pietro told you how he felt, you need to hear him and give explanations, maybe it's just a misunderstanding but he can't know if you don't tell him."

 

"Okay then," Wanda said and took a deep breath, "I don't think I talk to you less, I just have nothing to confide to you since my therapist said it was better if I kept things between me and her for the moment."

 

"You could have told me that," Pietro pointed out.

 

"When? You never seemed to be bothered. And it's not like we are spending less time together than before, you could have told me weeks ago."

 

"Most of the time Vision is there."

 

"Well, I happen to want to be with my friends some times and you have to deal with it. I don't want to stop myself from seeing Vision because spending time with him and you makes me feel better. So if you want to talk to me you can do it when he is not there, if really you don't want to do it when he is."

 

Pietro sighed, "Right, I guess that's on me."

 

"That's good guys," Carol encouraged, "Now what about the other thing Pete said, that you don't care about him."

 

"That is definitely not true," Wanda replied, "Since we got here I'm asking him everyday if he is okay."

 

"But you don't see when I lie to you. Usually you could tell in a heartbeat but recently it seemed that you're satisfied with any answer I give you."

 

Wanda scoffed, "Pushing you to tell the truth can be worst some time, Pietro. When I care too much you tell me I'm annoying and when I apparently don't care enough you're mad."

 

"See, that's why I'm mad," Pietro shouted and almost got reprimanded by Carol, "Sorry. What I'm say is, every time I say something against you you find ways to get away with it. You know how I work, you now that you have to push me when I lie, and if it's too much you come back later and I'll be ready to talk, but lately you don't make any effort."

 

"Okay, maybe I should insist, but you could also tell me the truth instead of pretending you like Vision."

 

"You read my mind," Pietro exclaimed, in shock, "I thought you said you would never do that to me?"

 

"I don't always control it and even without my powers, I can see it."

 

Natasha stood up, "If you two don't mind, I think we did our job here and we should now let you chat in private."

 

"Sure, you can go," Pietro told them, "Thank you for this."

 

"Yeah thanks, and happy Valentine's day."

 

"Thanks guys, have a good day," Carol said and stepped out of the control room. She exhaled lengthily, "Wanna debrief everything in our room?"

 

Natasha smirked, "Actually, I have a little something planned for you. Go to the gym and wait for me in the dance studio, I'll meet you there in a few," she told her, kissed her cheek and left.

 

Carol was a bit surprised but, as she walked to the gym, she realised Natasha gave her a hint. She said she must go to the dance studio, so she was probably going to dance, maybe on the song Carol wrote for her on the last Valentine's day. She had not thought of this in such a long time, so much had happened and she had forgotten that Natasha promised she would make a choreography and dance on it.

 

In the dance studio, Carol sat on the single chair that was there and went through her emails as she waited. After fifteen minutes, Carol still had no news of Natasha and started to worry. She send her a text to ask if she was coming soon and heard the sound of the notification on the other side of the door, Natasha was there.

 

The first sight of the redhead took Carol's breath away. She had changed and was in a long loose transparent white silk dress, her hair was down and her pointe shoes on her feet. The blonde had never seen her girlfriend like this, she was perfect, pure, flawless, her beauty so simple yet so breathtaking that Carol couldn't find words to express how beautiful she thought she was.

 

"I've been hiding this dress, if you were wondering," Natasha said as she shyly approached Carol who got on her feet, "I thought you'd figure out what I was planning if you saw it and I really wanted this to be a surprise."

 

"Baby, I don't even know what to say… you are so beautiful and elegant," Carol stammered as her hands found Natasha's waist, "this is definitely the best surprise ever."

 

Natasha giggled, "Wait until you see the choreography."

 

"I'm not sure I'm ready for that but please, show me how talented you are."

 

After a kiss on Carol's lips, Natasha took a few steps back to get the music ready on the stereo. Carol observed her as she sat on the chair again, the apprehensiveness and excitation creating a knot of stress in her stomach, but she knew it was all positive.

 

After a minute, everything was set and the redhead only had to play the music and start dancing. Natasha took a few breaths and, when she was ready, pressed play on the recording of the song Carol wrote for her.

 

Just like the song, her first steps were slow, careful, shy even. But then, as the tempo of the song increased, Natasha began to move her arms, in perfect harmony with the melody and the souls of the song. Carol was mesmerised by the perfect execution of her every motions and how the dress seemed to be dancing on its own as it fluttered as Natasha swirled.

 

Reaching the half of the song – part where Carol added parts of Natasha's favourite songs – Natasha's dance moves were less classic and even turned into things even beginners could do. Carol laughed when she realised she was doing one of her dance moves, the only thing that she could do without looking like she was drunk. It made the blonde very emotional to see that Natasha added moves Carol had talked about, moves she wished she could learn one day, in this choreography so light but full of meaning.

 

As the ending of the song came, Natasha got closer and closer until she stood in front of Carol on the last note. Carol – who got up to see Natasha's dance better – was speechless again and, when Natasha stroked her thumbs on her cheeks, realised she was crying.

 

"I get from these tears that you liked it," Natasha said with a controlled tone and a gentle smile.

 

Carol replied with a nod and her most genuine grin before falling into Natasha's arms, "It was perfect."

 

"Thank you, my love," Natasha whispered to her ear and kissed her cheek before pulling out, "It took me a few weeks to really start choreographing it. For at least three sessions I just laid there in the middle of the room and listen to your song on loop, trying to find a way to begin, a move that would be perfect for every note but I couldn't. It's only when I saw you do your dance move that I could really get into it."

 

Carol giggled, "Well I'm glad my clumsy ass inspired you, it was worth the wait, really."

 

Natasha thanked Carol with a tender kiss, "Want to see it again?"

 

"Please, yes."

 

The redhead was more than happy to show Carol this dance over and over again. She had put all her love and soul in it, it had been challenging but she did something she was proud of and it couldn't make her happier to see how much her girlfriend was enjoying it. She did the routine two more times and then invited Carol on the dance floor.

 

Natasha had also thought of a choreography for a couple and tried it – not very successfully – with Carol. She did her best with the little dance skills she had but it didn't quite look like what Natasha had imagine, although it was still perfect to her eyes.

 

They danced until they were exhausted, until their feet hurt and their entire bodies felt like they were burning from the inside. They laid in the middle of the dance studio for a moment, to catch their breaths and recover, staring at the celling, Natasha's hand on top of Carol's.

 

"We should talk about the test and the twins," Natasha panted as she rolled on her side and rested her head on Carol's chest.

 

"Actually," the blonde paused and smirked, "I thought we could… maybe go to our bedroom and… spend the day there. Because, you know, the data is not going anywhere, we can analyse it tomorrow but we can't-"

 

"You had me at bedroom," Natasha cut off, got up and helped Carol to her feet, "I love you," she added in a whisper as she leaned and captured Carol's lips.

 

Carol smiled into the kiss, "I love you too."

Chapter 51: Maria Rambeau

Notes:

Tw: death blood

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

This day started like every other day, Natasha and Carol getting ready to go to training but it all changed too quickly. This kind of day reminded Natasha why she had to enjoy them all, because anything could happen.

 

Like a usual morning, they got up at seven and went to the bathroom to shower and dress. Natasha went in the shower first while Carol was giving Liho her food, she joined her and finished to wash herself when Natasha was putting on her clothes.

 

Carol was still in the bathroom, a towel around her chest and one on her hair, when her phone rang, "Babe, can you get that?" she asked her girlfriend who hastened to answer the call.

 

She got it just in time and smiled as she read the name of the caller, "Monica, hi! This is Natasha," she introduced herself since she and Monica never met, but the latter knew who she was to Carol.

 

"Hi, is Carol available? I need to talk to her asap."

 

Even if Natasha had never heard Monica's voice before, she could tell something was wrong, "Yeah, sure. Just wait a sec," she told Monica as she made her way to the bathroom to find Carol fully dressed, "Monica on the phone, I think it's urgent."

 

Carol frowned but took the phone anyway. She barely had the time to say hello that Monica was talking, very quickly from the little Natasha could hear but it, for sure, sounded back. As the seconds passed, Carol's face become more and more white and her breathing started shaking. It all confirmed that something was wrong, something must have happened to Maria.

 

Natasha stood on the doorway as she listened to the few words Carol exchanged with Monica and joined her when she hung up the call, "What happened?" she asked as her hands found Carol's.

 

"I don't- Maria's hurt, that- that's all Monica could say… Sh-she doesn't know what happened b-but she is at the hospital and-"

 

"Go."

 

"But the team, I-"

 

"I will tell them training is cancelled or I'll tell Sam and Rhodey to handle it, okay?" Natasha said and pulled Carol closer, "Your best friend is hurt, you have to go and be by her side. I'll join you as soon as I can, promise," Natasha told Carol as she cupped her cheeks, "They will understand, my love, now go."

 

Carol sniffled, "Okay," she murmured and kissed Natasha's lips, "I love you."

 

"I love you too," Natasha replied and watched Carol as she put on a jacket and flew out of the bedroom by the French window.

 

With Carol gone, Natasha had to decide on her own whether the team would train today or not. Considering what was planned, Sam and Rhodey could lead but she doubted they would be motivated to train knowing that something happened and that Carol was away and not well.

 

Natasha gave herself a moment to gather herself and take the decision that was best. As she hugged Liho, she supposed she didn't have to say anything to the team about why she and Carol would be away, which would disturb them less.

 

The whole team was already on the field, waiting for her when she arrived. They instantly noticed Carol's absence and Natasha made it all clear right away, "An emergency came up, Carol had to leave and I have to go too but you guys will still do your training today," there were a few complains – from Pietro mainly – and she continued, "Sam and Rhodey will handle training and I'll let you know in the evening if we maintain training tomorrow or not."

 

Sam and Rhodey joined Natasha so she could explain to them what they had to do and, before Natasha could leave, Sam asked about Carol. She didn't want to worry him but she also knew that he cared deeply about her and that he was capable of keeping the information to himself so she told him the little she knew. He gave her a few words of support and promised he wouldn't say a word.

 

Natasha wanted to get to Louisiana as fast as possible, and the only way she found for that was to borrow a quinjet. She went to Maria's office, explained her the situation and the dark haired woman evidently said yes. At a quick pace, Natasha headed to the hangar and stepped in a quinjet that seemed operational and ready to go.

 

The redhead was a bit nervous, she had not piloted a jet in a long time and she was worried about Maria, which didn't help her hand to stop shaking. Hoping she would be okay, Natasha set course to Louisiana and took off. She thanked Tony for the new autopilot that controlled the jet for the majority of the flight. She only took the wheel back when she was finally in Louisiana and had to land. Her first instinct was to go to Maria's house, she knew that there wasn't a lot of vegetation around it and the ground was flat enough for the quinjet to land without any problem.

 

It was past midday when she got out and made her way to the house, praying that she would see Maria in it with Carol and Monica. The last two were there, but not Maria, which made Natasha even more concerned.

 

Carol was sitting in the living room, not doing anything, just staring into space, while Monica was in the kitchen. The front door was open but Natasha still knocked to inform that she was there, "Natasha?" Carol said with disbelief, completely surprised to see her already there, "How did you made it here so fast?"

 

"Borrowed a quinjet," she explained as she shyly entered and joined Carol at the couch, "I told you I'll come as fast as I could."

 

"Yeah," Carol breathed as she looked away.

 

As she sat beside Carol, Natasha noticed that Monica had left the kitchen but she didn't know where. Natasha was confused but she didn't try to look for her and focused on what mattered the most, Maria, "Did you get more infos? Did you see her?" she asked but the blonde was still looking down. Suddenly, Natasha felt a knot in her stomach, her girlfriend's reaction was more than a bad sign, it was saying it all, the worst happened.

 

Holding back her emotions, Natasha took Carol's hands and asked again, "Is she okay?"

 

Carol still didn't move, but when Natasha squeezed her hands, she slowly looked at her with her eyes red and full of tears and finally said, "She won't make it."

 

It was already difficult for Natasha to keep herself together and the pain and grief in Carol's voice made it harder. With still not much details, Natasha knew one thing, Maria was going to die, Carol was losing her best friend and that was unfair.

 

With a careful motion, Natasha pulled Carol into her arms and let her cry, just like she did when the role were reversed. It didn't last long, surely because Carol wanted to put up a front, and when she pulled out of the hug, Monica reappeared, "Do you guys know what happened?" she asked as she wiped the tears off Carol's cheek and then finally gazed at Monica.

 

"She was at a protest against the government and their lack of actions about climate change yesterday. You know how those go, in the beginning it's all peaceful and when the cops arrive it goes to shit, well, that's apparently what happened."

 

"There were a couple of kids at the hospital when I got there," Carol explained, "black kids. They said that the protest went on until the night and the cops wanted them to go back home but they wanted to stay. They threatened them with their guns and that's when Maria passed by…" she sucked on a breath, "They said she tried to reason with the cops but there was nothing to do, she's a black woman, they weren't going to listen to her either."

 

Monica continued, "She asked them to lower their guns, told them they were just kids, but they were still aiming at them so she stood between them and the gun and one just shot…"

 

Natasha gasped, "Oh, my God."

 

"The kids said that the cops left right after the shot, they left my mom there with a bullet in her chest, bleeding out, and two fourteen years old to help her. They did what they could, they called 911 and she got to the hospital but the doctor said she lost too much blood, her brain didn't survive the surgery."

 

What Natasha was hearing most in Monica's voice was anger, not sadness, but she understood. Something like this should never happen to anyone, those kids shouldn't have been threatened with guns in the first place, but because of a system that was corrupt from its creation, a woman, a good and caring person lost her life.

 

Natasha didn't even know what to say to Monica, she knew there was nothing that would help her deal with the pain of losing her mother for the moment. But there was something she surely wanted, for the person who did this to pay, "Can the kids identify the cop who shot?"

 

Monica shrugged, "We didn't get that far in the conversation but we are going to press charges, ask the kids to be witnesses and I'll go to that neighbourhood myself to ask around if anyone saw or filmed anything."

 

"It's early to talk about all this but I just want you to know that we'll be there if you need any help to find who did this."

 

Monica replied with a nod and went back to the kitchen. Natasha wanted to check on her girlfriend but she felt like there was some kind of awkwardness between her and Monica and she hoped it could stop, she didn't want to be one more negative thing in her life, "Hey, I'm just gonna officially introduce myself to Monica and I'll be back," she told Carol who agreed with a hum and joined Monica in the kitchen.

 

"Hey, I'm sorry we first meet in these circumstances," Natasha said as she leaned against the door frame, "Carol talked a lot about you."

 

"My mom talked about you too. She said you were the woman that own Carol's ass."

 

Natasha held a laughter although it was nice to relax the atmosphere, "I guess you can say that," she said but it just made it all awkward again, Monica was back to looking away and Natasha was so uncomfortable she couldn't find the right way to stand, "I'm really sorry if this is weird. You never met me and I stepped into your home-"

 

"No, no, it's all good really," Monica assured, "It's just… odd to finally meet you and see Carol in love for real."

 

Natasha slightly smiled, "I'm also very sorry about your mom."

 

"I still have a hard time realising it's real. When we saw her at the hospital she just looked… asleep, but the doc explained what happened and there is no hope."

 

Again, Natasha wasn't sure of what to say, saying sorry another time wouldn't help but she couldn't stay silent either, "Did they tell you what's the next step?"

 

Monica nodded, "For now we have to wait a few more hours until they confirm the diagnosis. Since she got out of surgery when I called you, we still have a couple hours before going back to the hospital and give our decision- well, my decision since I'm her next of kin."

 

"So you two came back here to discuss this?"

 

"Yeah. It was fast, really, we both know what they meant when they said 'her brain couldn't handle the surgery'," Monica paused and took a deep breath, "she was most likely brain dead in the ambulance from what I heard but they had to try to save her."

 

"If they saved her body, they are going to do organ donation, I suppose."

 

"Actually, they can't because of the damages the bullet did. Even if they fixed her, you can't donate wounded organs."

 

"Shit," Natasha cursed and instantly apologised, "Sorry, I just-"

 

"Wish her death could have had a bit of meaning?" Monica cut off and Natasha nodded, "I know, me too. But if this world was fair we wouldn't be there talking about this."

 

There was a silence again, but this time Natasha didn't feel any awkwardness, there was even something comforting in. Monica knew she could count on Natasha's support, although she did not came there for her in the first place.

 

And because Natasha was there for Carol, Monica couldn't keep her away for too long, "You should go back to her. I have a few calls to make, I'll come and get you for the hospital when it's time."

 

After one last look, Natasha went back to the living room and found Carol at the exact same place she was when she left, "Hey babe, let's have a walk," Natasha said as she offered her her hand. Carol looked up, stared at the hand and, when her gaze met Natasha's and her encouraging smile, she took it and followed her.

 

They walked with the sound of the nature living its life until the arrived at the quinjet. As they stepped closer to the rear hatch, the AI of the jet recognised them and let them enter. Natasha led Carol to their usual seats and didn't let go of her hand, "Talk to me, my love."

 

"What is there to say? My best friend is dead and I couldn't do anything to save her."

 

"You are blaming yourself, aren't you? For not being there with her when it happened?"

 

Carol scoffed as she let go of Natasha's hand and stood up, "You would blame yourself too and don't even try to convince me otherwise."

 

"I'm not," Natasha assured as she got on her feet and reached for Carol's hand again, "I just want you to express how you feel because I know you have the bad habit to keep it all inside until you explode."

 

This time, Carol didn't try to run away, she didn't try escape Natasha's grasp and faced it instead. Jaw clenched, breathing heavily, Carol matched Natasha's gaze until she couldn't bare the silence anymore. Natasha instantly wrapped her arms around Carol to catch her before she could fall on her knees and slowly lowered her to the floor as she cried loud tears of sorrow.

 

Natasha knew there was nothing she could do to make her feel better, she went through the same pain not even a year ago and at that time the only thing she wanted was to cry. The only thing she could bring her was a bit more comfort so she held Carol against her chest. She seemed so small like this, huddled up with her knees under her chin and her tears soaking Natasha's shirt. For the first time since Natasha met Carol, the blonde seemed weak, she had seen her vulnerable but this was another level. She was overwhelmed by all the pain and suffering of losing her best friend, her sobs were endless and it broke Natasha's heart to see her girlfriend like this.

 

Carol cried even if she had no tears left, she sobbed until her throat was sore and breathing hurt. With a weak voice, she asked Natasha for something to drink and the redhead helped her to a chair before giving her the bottle of water that she brought with her. As Carol drank small sips, Natasha took a tissue and wiped her tears away but the sadness was still so visible on her face.

 

"Thank you," Carol said quietly after Natasha gave her another tissue so she could blow her nose.

 

"How do you feel?" Natasha asked her as she stroked her fingers in her hair, knowing it soothed her.

 

"I just hate this planet right now," Carol told her frankly, "It's really one of the only planets I've been where there's that much racism, sexism, homophobia. I'm just so angry, this is so unfair, it shouldn't happen, ever."

 

"I know, baby," Natasha whispered and pulled Carol in her arms as she saw she was getting emotional again.

 

"I want to find the asshole who did this," the blonde cried.

 

"We will, I promise."

 

Carol sighed as she pulled out, "I love you, Natasha."

 

The redhead smiled, "I love you too," she said and kissed her.

 

A second after their lips touched, Natasha heard discrete footsteps and another second after, Monica cleared her throat to let them know she was there.

 

"Sorry to interrupt. The doc called, we have to go to the hospital."

 

The couple silently followed Monica to her car. Natasha told Carol to go on the passenger seat while she went to the back seat. She wanted her to be there for Monica, they were going through this loss together, Natasha was just an emotional support for Carol.

 

The ride was awfully quiet, there was no music, nobody was talking, they could only hear the sound of the tires on the road and the engine. After Monica parked, they all remained seated in the car, no one willing to be the first to get out. Stepping out of the car and going to the hospital meant that it was it, the end of Maria's life, and nobody would hurry to witness that.

 

A couple of minutes passed before Carol spoke up, "I know it's hard but we have to do this…" she offered her hand to Monica who looked down at it, "together."

 

With a nod, Monica took Carol's hand and squeezed it hard to give herself some strength, "Together."

 

Unlike when they got to the car, the walked all together as they entered the hospital and went to Maria's room in the ICU.

 

Natasha did her best to keep her shock for herself when she saw Carol's best friend with a large tube in her throat. It was weird because Maria's face was intact, she had not been beaten up, she didn't have bruises but inside she was already dead, only her body was living. It made it somehow worse to know that her body handled the surgery but not her brain, maybe if the cops didn't run away after one of them shot, maybe if she got medical assistance sooner, she could have survived.

 

When Monica was seated on Maria's right and Carol on her left, Natasha joined her girlfriend and stood behind her. Natasha put her hand on Carol's shoulder to remind her she was supported.

 

The doctor in charge of Maria's case walked into the room a couple of minutes later and explained another time what was going to happen. She showed them the last scans that showed no brain activity, which meant there was indeed no hope.

 

Now that they were sure of the diagnosis, Monica had to confirm her choice to not keep her mother on life support. Even if they all knew what would happen, the doctor had to explain the different steps. She would turn off the ventilator that was for now the only reason why Maria was still alive because it breathed for her. With the machine off, her organs wouldn't get oxygen and her heart would stop.

 

The effect was instantaneous, when the doctor took the tube out of Maria's throat, the monitor keep track of her heartbeat started beeping. The surgeon quickly turned the sound off to give Monica and Carol some comfort.

 

As she watched the flat line on the heart monitor, Natasha squeezed Carol's shoulder to give her strength. For a few seconds, Carol sat still to put on a brave face but when Monica started to sob against the back of her mother's hand, she wrapped her arms around Natasha's waist and cried discreetly against her stomach.

 

Natasha cried a few tears as she stared at the flat line and stroked her fingers in Carol's long blonde hair. She could tell Carol was being brave, she had cried a lot earlier and, even if she was extremely sad, she was also very tired. Natasha also supposed she didn't want to show her pain to Monica because she was hurting much more and unlike her she still hadn't let go of her emotions yet.

 

After a few minutes, a nurse walked in the room and silently went to the heart monitor to turn it off. Now that the flat line disappeared, Natasha's eyes were wandering all around the room. She looked at Monica who couldn't stop sobbing as she was grasping her mother's hand, Carol was still holding her but she was calmer, her breathing was getting better. Another minute passed before Carol looked up and thanked Natasha for all her support with a soft smile that she returned as she caress her cheek.

 

The nurse was still there and was trying to access the IV that was in Maria's right hand, the hand that Monica was holding. She was there to do her job, she had to bring her body to the morgue but Monica couldn't let go of her mom. Seeing this, Carol went to Monica and squatted down to be at her level. Meanwhile, Natasha asked the nurse to give them a minute.

 

"Hey little one, I know it's hard but we have to let the nurse take her," Carol told her with her most gentle tone as she rubbed her back, "Come on, we can go see her down there if you want."

 

"I can't let her go," Monica cried.

 

"You're not, she will always be with you," Carol said and put her hand on Monica's chest, "She will be with you in here, that's not gonna change."

 

Monica sniffled, "I just need a minute."

 

Carol nodded and kissed Monica's temple before joining Natasha, "Do you think we can go at the morgue to see her?"

 

"It shouldn't be a problem," Natasha assured, "The nurse is really nice, she told me we could stay for as long as we needed."

 

"I'm gonna ask her if we can go and we'll let her do her job so she can bring her down there."

 

"Is it okay if I don't come with you?" Natasha asked, "I need to make a call and also I think you and Monica need some time alone with her."

 

"Sure baby, you can go," Carol cupped Natasha's cheek and kissed her sweetly, "We will meet you at the car," she kissed her again.

 

Before she left, Carol asked the key to Monica and gave it to Natasha, as well as another kiss. The call the redhead needed to make was to Tony, she knew he and Carol were still not really talking but she wanted him to be there for her at the funeral, she would need it. She also called Sam and the twins, with whom Carol was close and who would want to be there for her as well.

 

She was surprised to learn that Pepper wouldn't be there, she was usually very insistent to support Carol and Natasha in bad times. The good news was that, thanks to Stark Industries and one if its private jets, they could all join in the evening.

 

While waiting for Carol and Monica, Natasha was in the car and FaceTiming with Sam. She told him she was really worried about how the loss of Maria would affect the blonde in the long term. She knew she was being selfish for thinking that way but the thought of Carol wanting to leave Earth because of it couldn't go away, she didn't know how likely it was but she felt like it could happen.

 

Sam did his best to comfort her, he reminded her of how much Carol love her and everything she did for her. He was truly a big fan of the couple and really helped Natasha thinking of something else than Carol abandoning her until she and Monica came back to the car.

 

They went back to the house and Natasha made dinner with her little skills in cooking. She wanted to be useful to both Carol and Monica and she didn't know what else to do for them. Dinner was very quiet, the atmosphere was heavy, no one knew what to say. Natasha wasn't sure if it was okay of her to make conversation and even if it was, she didn't know what to talk about to include Monica. She supposed it was better that way, calm was a good thing when mourning – or at least it was for her – so she kept her mouth shut.

 

Carol and Natasha were washing the dishes when someone knocked at the door. Monica – who was not doing anything – went to open it and Natasha rushed to join her and explained who it was, "I hope it's okay, I asked a few friends to come to support Carol. They won't be staying here obviously, they are passing by but I thought it would be good for her to know they are already here."

 

"It's all good," Monica said and welcomed the guests.

 

They were all very polite, offered their sincere condolences to Monica before greeting Natasha and then Carol. The blonde was very surprised to hear their voices and so genuinely happy to see that they all made the trip to be there for her.

 

The twins were the first to talk to Carol, Pietro with his usual clumsiness when it came to being a civil human being and Wanda and her well-hidden kindness. Then, Sam said a few words to her, told her he was sleeping at his sister's and that everything went well in training.

 

And finally, Carol saw Tony. She was in shock, she really didn't expect him to come after everything that happened between them. Since this fall out, they hadn't talk, they didn't even see each other and there was still resentment between them. Him making the effort to be there was an encouraging sign for their relationship, it was not peace yet but a hiatus in their grudge until they'd talk it through.

 

"Hey man," Carol said with emotion in her voice, "I never thought you'd come."

 

"I know you'd do the same for me so I came," Tony replied and took Carol in his arm for a very needed hug.

 

Natasha was watching from afar and could tell it really helped Carol to feel better, although the reality of Maria's death would come back eventually, for now she was okay. She kept glancing at them as she chatted with Sam and Monica, tried to overhear what they were saying but the only thing she got was Tony telling Carol he booked an hotel for himself and the twins.

 

After a half hour of talking, Tony decided it was time for him, the Maximoffs and Sam to leave. The couple and Monica walked them back to the car Tony rented and chatted on the way back to the house.

 

"I think we are going to sleep in the quinjet," Carol said, to Monica's and Natasha's surprise.

 

"Why would you do that?" Monica asked, frowning.

 

"I um- I," Carol stammered as she rubbed the back of her head, "I don't feel like sleeping in the house."

 

"Okay," Monica said even though she was disappointed and sad. She most likely didn't want to sleep in her childhood house without her mom either, especially not alone, but she had nowhere else to sleep.

 

The couple and Monica kept chatting until they were at the house and said goodbye to each other. In the jet, Carol set the makeshift bed and Natasha searched in a bag for a few clothes she brought to be their pyjamas. Natasha changed first and then gave Carol what she brought for her, the blonde smiling in response.

 

"You took my favourite sweater," she noted.

 

Natasha smiled back, "I know what you need when you're sad, someone to listen to you and my oversized hoodie."

 

"I love you," Carol said suddenly and kissed Natasha's lips fiercely, "I love you, I love that you know me so well and I love everything about you. You are perfect."

 

Natasha slightly laughed, she didn't think she would get a declaration of love thanks to a hoodie but loved that Carol appreciated all her little efforts, "And I love you for who you are," she whispered and cupped her cheek, "thank you for loving me."

 

"Stop it, I am the lucky one," Carol replied as she imprisoned Natasha in her arms, "you loving me is the best thing that ever happened in my life," she added before kissing Natasha again, slower this time, lovingly as she led her to their bed where they spent as much time sleeping as they showed each other how much they were loved.

Notes:

I took the decision to kill off Maria before WandaVision was released, I had no idea Marvel was going to kill her off and I hope the death I gave her has more meaning than what Marvel did.

I did it for the plot, as you know Clint also died which means both Natasha and Carol lost their best friends and that will be something important for the rest of the fic.

Chapter 52: Depression

Chapter Text

Funerals were the worst, it always reminded Carol of what she lost after she'd been thinking she was okay. She had to wear her air force clothes again, to act tough in front of all these people that came to honour Maria even if she wanted to cry and, when it was her turn to speak, she couldn't even get herself to stand up. Natasha went at the lectern instead and improvised a speech that was surprisingly accurate and laudatory considering the little she knew about Maria.

 

Even with the support of Tony, Sam, Pietro and Wanda, Carol felt like the weight of the whole world smashed her at the funeral and this time Natasha's little attentions weren't enough to make her feel better. And when they left, she felt lonelier than ever, she was staying at the house now because Tony and the others used the jet to go back to the compound. Being there with all the memories coming up was so hard but they had to stay until they figured out what to do with it.

 

One day after the funeral was enough for Carol to nosedive into a spiral of pain and grief. She stopped eating, couldn't sleep and let Monica handle what to do with the house when she and Natasha initially stayed for that.

 

Natasha was very concerned about Carol's shape after another day, she didn't get out of bed but didn't sleep either, she was just laying on her back, staring at the ceiling, doing nothing. When she talked to her, Carol barely acknowledge her presence, answered with hums and head shakes or didn't answer at all.

 

The most worried Natasha got was when she told Carol that the team was sent on a mission – the entire New Avengers team – and she told her to deal with it on her own. Carol was normally so committed when it came to their training that the fact that she didn't give a damn about it now was very alarming.

 

After the blonde basically told her to fuck off, Natasha went to the kitchen and served herself a glass of water as she closed her eyes to try to relax.

 

"Didn't go well?" Monica asked as she stepped in, surprising Natasha who slightly jumped.

 

"Deal with it was her words," she replied and drank a sip of water, "I know we don't grieve the same way but it's like she is not there at all. She doesn't even talk to me anymore, I ask questions and she ignores them or just nods."

 

"The fact that she said something this time might be a good thing," Monica said jokingly but Natasha didn't laugh at all, "You know, Carol has lost people before but it was never my mom. Beside you, she was the one person that she never wanted to see die and it happened, very suddenly. We have to give her time, she is hurting a lot for now but she will feel better… eventually."

 

Natasha agreed with this last part with a nod, "I guess I can do time, I can handle the team on mission, I just wish we were back in New York for that."

 

"You can go, I'm good here. Sam said his sister was interested to buy the house and if I'm being honest I rather sell it to a person I know a little than to some random white dude that will raze it to the ground to make a mall or something."

 

"You and Sam got along well," Natasha noted with a smirk.

 

Monica ignored what Natasha implied, "Well, he knows how it feels to lose a parent so it really helped to hear his advices and he is a nice guy."

 

"That, he is," Natasha agreed and smiled, "His advices must really be good because you look… okay?"

 

"I did cry for three days before the funeral but um… I don't know- maybe seeing all these people showing up for her comforted me in some ways, you know? Like I'm sure she won't be forgotten now, she was so important around here, she helped so many people and they all will remember her."

 

"Yeah, I get that," Natasha replied softly as she touched her arrow necklace, "I was very moved to see that much people at the funeral so I guess it was really beautiful for you."

 

"It was, I just hope Carol felt the same way."

 

Natasha finished her glass of water and sighed, "Me too."

 

After a short silence, Monica walked towards Natasha and leaned against the counter beside her, "So, when do you want to leave?"

 

"The sooner the better I suppose… for the team of course, it's great to be with you."

 

"It'd be better for her too," Monica said with a bit of bittersweetness, "As much as I love spending time with Carol, she is not herself right now and I don't think being here is helping. She's had so many good memories with mom, dwelling on them is not good for her grieving process, or at least it's not good for now."

 

"You're right. I'm gonna talk to her later and see if she'd be okay to leave tomorrow."

 

"I'll come with you. I have something to ask her and it's probably better if we do it all at once."

 

After a nod, Natasha left the kitchen and went back to the room she and Carol slept in. The blonde was still in the middle of the bed, looking up at the ceiling with tears falling off the corner of her eyes. It was so hard for Natasha to see her in so much pain but she knew there was nothing she could do to make her feel better. She tried to find something to say as she took her jacket and told her she was going out for a walk but nothing came to her so she just kissed her forehead and walked out of the house.

 

As she strolled aimlessly, Natasha wondered if Carol felt that hopeless when she was the girlfriend of a woman who lost her best friend and how she handled it. Natasha hated to be useless, especially when it came to Carol. What she wanted the most was to be able to help her but all her attempts failed and keeping on trying just seemed to hurt them both more.

 

She tried getting Sam, Pietro and Wanda on the phone to talk to her, she even asked Maria if she could give her a number to join Nick and he did call but hearing from them didn't make her a tiny bit happier. Carol didn't even shower anymore, she had only been out of bed to go to the toilet and she did that during the night or when she was sure nobody was around so they wouldn't annoy her with questions.

 

All this situation brought a lot of frustration to Natasha, frustration that she couldn't get out of her when she was around Monica and Carol because they didn't deserve to receive it. Therefore, after an hour of walking, she took her jacket off, put it under the porch and went for a run. It was definitely not a nice jogging just to wake up her muscles. No, it was a long run at a high speed that hurt her body and expended all her energy but, at the end of it, Natasha felt better.

 

Before taking a shower, Natasha decided to call Carol's therapist to let her know of her patient's state. The doctor was glad to hear from her because she had sent Carol a few texts since she cancelled her last appointment and the blonde didn't answer to any of them. Natasha tried to be as reassuring as possible but Dr. Odé knew Carol and she knew she was in a very dark place. Without knowing that Natasha wanted to come back to the compound, she advised her to do so, that way, she could try to deal with Carol's grief with her.

 

After this call, Natasha contacted her own therapist to tell her she was struggling to help Carol and that it really frustrated her. Dr. Wittayer knew very well that Natasha hated frustration and that it could turn into far worse in the long term. Natasha promised that she was doing her best to overcome this feeling and that she would be back soon to discuss it further with her.

 

With all this confidence, Natasha went to her bedroom and asked – or rather ordered – Carol to come with her to shower, "I'm not dating a stinking slug so get your ass out of bed."

 

"Did you just call me a slug?" Carol snapped as she sat up.

 

Natasha shrugged, "What? You are laying there all day, not moving, like a slug."

 

"Fuck you, Natasha!" Carol shouted as she got on her feet and frowned.

 

"Well then come and do it yourself," Natasha replied with a proud smirk and took a step forward.

 

Carol was heavily breathing, she was genuinely upset by Natasha's behaviour and was definitely not going to fuck her but the redhead did have a point, she was in fact all sweaty and sticky, "I'm not gonna give you this pleasure," she replied and walked to the bathroom, her shoulder violently bumping into Natasha's on the way – and on purpose.

 

Natasha followed her from afar, stopped at the door and watch her as she took her clothes off. When she was done, Natasha stepped in, undressed and waited for Carol to give her consent before joining her. She didn't see much of her face when she nodded but she noticed that she was on the verge of tears and, when Natasha held her from behind, she let go and cried.

 

Even if she had been sad since the funeral, Carol didn't cry that much because, again, she didn't want Monica and Natasha to feel pity for her so she held her tears. But in this shower with the sound of the water running, she knew Monica wouldn't hear her and she was safe to cry as much as she needed with Natasha.

 

The redhead's heart broke as she heard Carol's sobs and felt her struggling to breath. She couldn't just stand there and hold her, she had to try and help her – even with her bad records on that matter – so she changed position and stood before Carol. With careful hands, she cupped her cheeks, gently pulled her closer and nuzzled her nose.

 

"It's okay, my love, you can cry," she murmured and Carol replied with a nod, "Do you wanna sit down? Come on lets sit, baby."

 

Carol nodded again and let Natasha sit first to then have the best position. Natasha was glad the Rambeau house had a bathtub because baths were always very soothing for Carol. The level of water was slowly climbing, Carol was getting calmer and Natasha's fingers running up and down her forearm really helped.

 

"Feels weird," Carol said with a shaking voice.

 

"What does?"

 

Carol slightly chuckled, "Liho isn't there to ask for cuddles."

 

"Sam said she is annoying, I think she misses us."

 

"I miss her too," Carol sighted.

 

Natasha was tempted to ask Carol if she wanted to go back to the compound now but she told Monica they would talk to her together.

 

When most of their bodies were covered with water, Carol shut the tap and relaxed. For the first time in almost a week, Natasha didn't feel any pressure, she didn't have to walk on eggshells to talk to Carol or to be around her and she really enjoyed it. The frustration of the situation was one thing but Natasha was also frustrated to not get the usual attention that Carol gave her but she couldn't be mad about it.

 

Touches were everything in their relationship, it started with hand holdings, hugs and, when they finally became a couple, they cuddled and made out and more… If at first Natasha needed this closeness to be comforted – as her therapist observed – it recently changed, she was wanting hugs because it was one of the best feelings, not because she was sad and not getting them in the last few days was really hard.

 

But there they were, in a hot bath, Carol's back resting on Natasha's chest, together and nothing could disturb them. Natasha could tell Carol was genuinely comfortable, her whole body was relaxed and she was nodding off. After her sleepless nights, Natasha shouldn't be surprised that Carol could fall asleep in a bathtub and it wouldn't be so much of a problem if the water wasn't going to get cold at some point.

 

To prevent Carol from sleeping, Natasha thought it would be good to talk to her, and to make her talk, "Babe, what do you think about a nap after the bath, huh?"

 

Carol hummed as she slightly lifted her head but the exhaustion was still very strong and it was difficult for her to fight it.

 

"How do you feel? Tell me, please."

 

After a sharp breath, Carol adjusted her position and began, "It's odd because I'm sad obviously but I've also been thinking a lot in the last few days and my thoughts are the reasons why I cried."

 

"And what are you thinking about?" Natasha asked even though she had a little idea.

 

"I guess that losing Maria made me think of the moment I would lose you and that can't happen. I don't think I could survive watching you die, whether it's in battle or in decades, I just can't."

 

"Well, I can't promise you that I won't eventually die because I'm still human, even with the super soldier serum that I received but I can promise you I don't plan on dying in battle."

 

"I'm not sure that's enough," Carol sighed.

 

Natasha frowned, "What do you mean? I can't suddenly live longer, babe."

 

"What if you can? What if you could become half Kree like me?"

 

"I don't think it's that simple."

 

Carol sat up and turned to face Natasha, "We are friends with Tony Stark for fuck's sake, we can make anything happen. Plus Dr. Cho works for Stark Industries, I'm sure these two can make you Kree next week."

 

"Did you ever think that it could be your powers that stop your ageing and not the Kree genetics?" Natasha seriously asked, "I wouldn't be against living more years with you but we have to be certain it can work."

 

"Kree have an average life expectancy of two hundred years so yeah, I'm pretty sure it works."

 

After a pout, Natasha got out of the bath and wrapped herself in a towel, "It must be more complicated than that, Carol."

 

"Why do you sound not thrilled at all by this?" Carol asked as she dried herself with a towel, "This is what we could be having, we could live together for centuries, help around, and when we will be tired of life, we can die together."

 

"Listen, Carol, I get that right now you think this is a great idea but you just lost your best friend, of course you want to find ways for us to live forever but that's not that simple."

 

"What if it is?" Carol retorted, "Don't you wanna live with me until we are both old?"

 

Seeing Carol's distress, Natasha approached Carol and cupped her cheeks, "I never said that, Carol. I understand what you are saying and it's really smart but we have time to think about it all, okay?"

 

After a sigh, Carol nodded, "I guess we do."

 

"Good," Natasha said with relief in her voice, "I know it sucks but for now you need to focus on your grieving process instead of finding ways to avoid it."

 

"I know."

 

Natasha could see Carol's disappointment and she understood but she also never thought of living longer than a normal human and she didn't know if that was what she wanted. With a soft kiss, Natasha consoled the blonde, "Join me in the living room when you are ready, Monica and I want to talk with you about a few things."

 

The redhead waited for Carol to give her a sign of agreement to leave the bathroom and went outside to find Monica. She was sitting on the grass beside the stairs that led to the porch, legs spread, leaning on her arms as she inhaled the fresh air of the nature. Natasha let her know she was there by taking heavy steps on the wood planks and sat on the last stair.

 

"Carol is on her way, I told her we have things to discuss."

 

"How is she doing?" Monica asked as she joined Natasha on her stair.

 

"Still sad obviously but she is trying to shun it and it makes her even more sad."

 

"Talking about me?" said Carol from behind them, "Of course you are, you're worried," she added and sat on the grass in front of them.

 

"That's why we wanted to talk to you," Natasha told her, "Monica and I had a chat this morning and we both think it would be better for you if we go back to New York and get back on our routine. It's not about avoiding your loss or to take you mind off of it, we just think that dwelling on the past isn't good."

 

Carol nodded, "You're right, it's not. Since the funeral I've been remembering things and then it turned into a spiral crazy thoughts and fixations that take me away from my grief. But what about the house? We still have-"

 

"I've got it handled," Monica cut off, "Sam's sister wants to buy it and even if it's at a lower price than the market offers I'll accept hers."

 

Carol looked at Monica with her eyebrows raised, "How did you get Sarah's contact?"

 

"She and Sam get along well," Natasha replied and winked as she elbowed Monica, "Oh, my god, you're so annoying with this."

 

"Get along, huh? I see," Carol smirked, "Well, that's great. I'm glad the house will go to someone we know… a little."

 

"Monica might get to know her if she gets along more with Sam," Natasha joked and it earned her a shove in the shoulder.

 

"I see the annoying part of you two that mom talked about, when you team up you are insufferable."

 

"Yeah, sorry, we can be," Carol said, not very sincere in her apology, and continued, "So, what do you want to tell me?"

 

"Well, I've been thinking a lot since you came back to Earth, even more when mom told me what she told you to do and I came to conclusion. I don't want you to move on from me. I get why mom said you should do that for her but I never agreed with this and I feel like when she said that to you you lumped me and her together but I still want to be a part of your life, so I'm asking you to not leave me behind."

 

"Monica I-" Carol paused and reached her hand, "I'm sorry, I didn't realise I was doing this but you're right, I did. From now on, I will do my best to stay in touch, okay? We can try to schedule something or-"

 

"Actually I thought we could go back to how it was before," Monica interrupted, "when you were flying across the universe, I would see you twice a year, three times at best, and that was enough for me. If we can go back to that, I'll be entirely happy with it."

 

"I guess we can manage that," Carol said and shared a glance with Natasha, "you can visit us at the compound some day, that way you can also see Sam and-"

 

"Shut up!" Monica exclaimed as she pushed Carol's hand away and then laughed.

 

"What? It's not like you were saying you don't like him."

 

"I don't know him much, how can I like him already?"

 

"Carol didn't know me and she already liked me," Natasha replied with a smirk.

 

Monica rolled her eyes, "You can't use you as an analogy, you two are like soulmates, you were meant to be together."

 

"I don't know about that but we sure as hell love each other a lot," Carol said as she got up and helped Natasha to stand, "Right babe?" she added as she leaned closer and stopped when their noses bumped, "Right," Natasha whispered and kissed Carol's lips.

 

Standing there, watching them, Monica smiled until they pulled away, "I don't understand why mom said you were annoying, I think you two are adorable."

 

"You're one of the first people to tell us that," Natasha observed as they went back inside, "people usually say we are annoying or disgustingly in love, I think they are just jealous."

 

Monica giggled, "Probably."

 

For their last night at the house – and probably the last one ever for Carol and Natasha – they cooked together a nice meal with all their favourite dishes. For the first time since the couple arrived to New Orleans, they had an enjoyable dinner, they chatted, laughed a little and remembered their best time with Maria. There was still sadness, especially on Carol's and Monica's features, but they were slowly getting out of the depression stage.

 

Natasha and Carol had a night of sleep that wasn't too bad this time, Carol – who had had many nightmares after a the funeral – only woke up once. During breakfast, Monica told them that she had a good night as well, which was very encouraging for her mourning process and comforting for Carol who didn't feel completely fine to leave her alone to handle the sale of the house.

 

After breakfast, the couple packed the little stuff Natasha had brought and they left after an early lunch. Monica drove them to the airport – the day before Natasha had asked Tony to get tickets for them – and they walked inside after a very emotional goodbye. Monica said that she would visit the compound for Carol's birthday (that was a couple months later) and didn't accompany them inside because she had to make some urgent calls to her work.

 

Carol couldn't hold her tears when the plane took off, it had been a very long exhausting and emotional week for her and it ended with her last moments in a house she had had so many good memories in. The rest of the flight was as normal as it could be but, after they landed and got out of the airport, they were welcomed by Pepper and Wanda.

 

"Tony said you needed a ride and he had a thing he couldn't cancel so here I am," Pepper said with her arms opened, ready to give a hug to the first one of her friends who would want it.

 

Natasha was the first to go and give her a hug, so Carol walked towards Wanda and greeted her with a hug too. Then, they changed place and Natasha went to the back of the car with Pepper to put her bag in the trunk, which left Wanda and Carol alone, "How are you doing?" Wanda asked as she took Carol to the side.

 

Carol sighed, "Better. It still hurts a lot but I'm glad to be back."

 

Wanda nodded, "I understand, losing my parents was really hard too, I'm not even sure I totally grieved yet but that's okay."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Yeah, it's like Vision told me, grief is love persevering and that's okay, it's a good thing."

 

If Wanda hadn't clarified that it was Vision's words, Carol would have been surprised to hear that much wisdom from the young woman. Not that she was not capable of wisdom, but on this kind of topics, it was hard for her to give good advices.

 

To thank her for telling her this great phrase, Carol gave her another hug and then they climbed in the car.

 

She felt really emotional again when they passed the barriers and entered the compound. That was it, she was going back to her normal life, her routine with Natasha, Liho and the Avengers, but this time Maria was not a part of this world anymore.

Chapter 53: Denial

Chapter Text

Just like they discussed back in Louisiana, Monica was visiting for Carol's birthday. They weren't doing something big, Monica was coming for lunch, would stay a few hours and would leave before dinner. It was an occasion for the couple to have a day off and chat with somebody else than the inhabitants of the compound, Natasha was very excited about it but Carol not so much.

 

Going back to her normal life had been hard, even with the support of Natasha and all the team. Carol was often taking breaks to cry during training, random situations reminding her of good memories with Maria. When that happened, Natasha was always by her side, comforting her, telling her that it would be okay eventually, but it never seemed to help. Natasha never stopped trying though, just like Carol did when she lost her best friend, she was there for her even when she was insensitive or ungrateful.

 

And to add to all the pain she had, her birthday went as bad as it could get. First, Monica's plane was late which meant they had to wait to start lunch, a part of the meal got cold and the twins got grumpy because they were hungry. Then, Sam realised that he didn't have the present that they all bought for Carol which ruined the surprised they had prepared. Sam would go get the gift eventually, he wanted to go get it right after lunch but Natasha told him to stay and have a nice time with everybody.

 

For the two hours left for Monica before she had to go catch her plane, they went to the living area and chatted while Wanda and Vision were playing some guitar in the background. Monica and Sam were sitting side by side, talking and laughing and Natasha thought that she would get to comment on it with Carol but the blonde was barely paying attention. She was looking at them, or rather at Monica, but she wasn't hearing their laughters nor Natasha talking to her.

 

When it was time for Monica to leave, the group said goodbye to her first and then let the couple – especially Carol – have a moment alone with her. Natasha didn't expect anything from this moment, but she definitely didn't see Carol's words coming.

 

"You look so much like her, it hurts to see you," she said, hugged her for a couple seconds and suddenly ran out of the room, probably crying.

 

Natasha and Monica shared a confused gaze and, before the redhead could tell Monica that she was driving her to the airport, she said she would ask Sam to bring her there so Natasha could be with her girlfriend. Natasha apologised on behalf of Carol and gave her goodbyes to Monica before running after the Captain.

 

She found her in their room, on the balcony with Liho in her arms. When Natasha joined her, she made loud noises on purpose to let her know she was there and not startle her, "What happened back there, my love?" the redhead asked as she held Carol from behind.

 

"I'm just not ready to see her… texting I can handle, calls sometimes, but seeing her is just too hard, she makes me think of Maria too much."

 

"Okay," Natasha whispered and kissed the back of Carol's neck, "you might have to explain this to her, she was really confused when you left."

 

Carol hummed as she turned and gave Liho to Natasha, "We didn't even get to talk about the case."

 

"Don't worry about it, Pepper and her lawyers are handling it beautifully."

 

"I know but it gets my mind off things," Carol replied with a bit of irritation in her voice.

 

"I know Carol but you can still ask her by text or even call Pepper," Natasha said with a soft tone to try to calm her girlfriend.

 

"Yeah, I'm gonna do that," Carol mumbled and took her phone out of her pocket.

 

Natasha watched her dialled Pepper's number and before she picked up, she commented, "It doesn't have to be now."

 

Carol clenched her jaw, "I need this," she groaned and walked in the bathroom to have her call in private.

 

For a moment, Natasha remained on the balcony with Liho purring in her arms and enjoyed the fresh air of spring. With her eyes closed, she breathed in and let out a long sigh before letting go of her cat and went back inside.

 

The evening was complicated, in the dinning room, the team was talking about what happened earlier in the day, mocked Sam because he forgot the present which reminded Carol of Monica and so, of Maria. She barely stayed ten minutes around the table and left without a word and after having eaten only a slice of bread.

 

Even if Natasha was worried about Carol, she didn't go after her and took the time to finish her meal. She knew the blonde needed time alone and if she really wanted Natasha to be with her, she would find a way to contact her.

 

When she did go after her, Carol was already in her pyjamas and in bed, ready to try to have a good night of sleep – something she hadn't had in a while. It obviously didn't go well, Carol woke up twice – for what Natasha knew – her eyes tearing up and breathing shaking. Natasha managed to calm her both times and waited until she was asleep again to doze off herself, causing her to oversleep the next morning.

 

Usually awakened by Carol's alarm (that was set fifteen minutes before Natasha's) the redhead woke up because of the soft music coming from her own phone and Liho purring in her ears. It might be the first time since they moved to the compound that Natasha didn't wake up before her alarm rang and she couldn't understand how it happened.

 

Slowly opening her eyes, Natasha saw Carol sitting on the edge of the bed. After she gave a Liho a kiss on the top of her head, she sat on the bed and joined Carol on her side, "What happened with your alarm? I didn't hear it."

 

"I turned it off so you could sleep more," Carol replied while Natasha sat behind her and kissed her neck, "you looked so peaceful, I couldn't wake you."

 

"Thanks," Natasha whispered and kissed Carol's cheek to finally notice she was crying, "Baby, what's going on?" she asked, her voice full of worry.

 

"After the second time I woke up I had another nightmare and you didn't wake up so I just stayed up."

 

"For how long?"

 

Carol sniffled, "Um… three hours I guess."

 

Natasha gasped, "You should have wake me."

 

"I wanted time alone… needed time alone… just to remember her a little but I can't stop thinking since I woke up and it hurts so much."

 

"I know baby but it's gonna be okay. At first it hurts and that's normal but it will be okay."

 

"Can you stop telling me it's gonna be fine when all I feel is pain!" Carol suddenly yelled as she stood up, "You don't understand shit of what's happening in my head right now so stop saying that it will be okay because it won't."

 

If Natasha never snapped at Carol before, this morning she wasn't in the mood to hear her say that she didn't know how she felt and replied, "You are acting like I don't know how it feels like to lose someone but may I remind you that my own best friend died not a year ago. I know what you feel right now, I know and I understand all your pain so could you please stop denying that? Stop acting like my feelings aren't valid because you feel more, because you feel too much and you can't handle it. That's not how it works and you've showed it to me many times. You taught me that."

 

Carol quickly realised that she made a mistake, "Natasha, I'm-" she began but Natasha cut her off, "I need some air," she said and walked out of the room.

 

This conversation went so quickly from nothing to an argument that Natasha didn't realise she had taken her phone with her until she arrived in the kitchen and put her hands in her pocket. It was still early, nobody was there for breakfast yet so she used the empty room to make a couple calls.

 

First, she called Carol's therapist and asked her if she could contact the blonde for a session, that way she would talk about Maria to someone that wasn't her. Her second call was to her own therapist – that she hadn't seen in a while because they were too busy, she really needed a session herself and was relieved when Dr. Wittayer told her she was available.

 

After these two calls, she sent a text to Carol, telling her she wouldn't be there for training and turned her phone off.

 


 

Carol felt awful, she had totally dismissed Natasha's feelings, she had been doing it for weeks now and the redhead finally let it out, in the worst way. She knew Natasha was not seeing her therapist these days, mostly because she wanted to take care of Carol and put her before her own well being, so why did she snap at her like that, knowing she was vulnerable? Usually, Carol could read into Natasha's every expressions, she could even anticipate how she would react to this or that but lately she didn't try to see her, she was failing her as a partner.

 

In the bathroom, staring at her reflection, Carol couldn't stop herself from thinking about all the times she yelled or was rude to Natasha since Maria died and it happened so much it shocked her. It could be little comments or big bad moods but they all affected Natasha's mental health and she eventually couldn't take it anymore.

 

It took Carol more time than the usual to get dressed, she would be late for training and hoped Natasha was already there but a text on her phone told her otherwise.

 

[Natasha]: I won't be there for training, I'm sorry.

 

It was short, no 'have a good day' or 'see you later' at the end of it, meaning she was really mad.

 

On her way to the field, Carol tried to write different messages, an apology, anything that would show she felt bad about what she said, but the right words didn't come. She would have to apologise in person and she knew it so instead she replied with a simple 'okay, I love you' and put her phone back into her pocket.

 

Determined to go to training and to think about something else than this argument, Carol walked fast towards the field but she was stopped by Maria passing by, "Your therapist said she wanted to see you so I'm training the team today."

 

"But you've never done it before!" Carol shouted as Maria was walking away.

 

"If you can do it I'm sure I can!" she replied and turned at a corner.

 

Carol stood there, as offended by Maria's comment as she was surprised that her therapist was there to see her. She hadn't talked to her in a very long time, she had had a couple session after the funeral but that was it so Carol didn't understand why she suddenly wanted to see her.

 

Carol was too curious to not go and find the reason so she retraced her steps and went to her therapist's office. When she was about to knock, she heard the key in the lock and then Dr. Odé opened the door, "Ah! Perfect, you're here. Come in."

 

Without a word, Carol stepped in and sat on her usual space on the couch. She observed the doc as she walked around her office, took her notebook, pen and a glass of water and finally sat on her chair.

 

"So, do you know why I wanted to see you?" she asked with the hint of a smirk on her lips.

 

Carol shook her head, "I was hoping you would tell me."

 

"I was hoping you would figure it out."

 

It could have been for a million reasons but after this morning's event and considering that a certain redhead had her therapist's phone number, the answer was easy, "Natasha," she sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

 

"That's the one. Now, can you tell me what happened with your girlfriend? She sounded really moved on the phone."

 

Carol almost rolled her eyes at herself, she was feeling more and more guilty about her earlier reaction, "I'm the worst with her. Since my best friend died, she has been trying to help, to comfort me and I'm just yelling at her all the time."

 

"Why are you yelling?"

 

"Because it's unfair!" Carol exclaimed, "Maria was trying to help kids that had done nothing wrong and those cops shot her! They shot an unarmed civilian because of the colour of her skin!"

 

"I understand, better than you I have to say," the doctor said and closed her notebook, "Us, black people, have known racism for centuries and we see it everyday because we live it everyday. I understand that you are mad about it now since your best friend died and I believe it will help you fight this system that is full with racism but does being mad help you grieve? I'll give you the answer, it doesn't. Right now you are trying to find something else to think about so you don't think about the loss, ergo you are in denial."

 

"Is that how denial feels like?"

 

"It's not a constant thing, it depends on the person but from what I know you are in this phase and while you are searching for things to be mad at, you are taking Natasha with you and she turning against you."

 

"But I'm not mad at her."

 

"I know you're not but to her that's how it sounds like."

 

Carol took her head in her hands as she leaned on her elbow, "I'm such an idiot. I'm struggling with my emotions and she's trying to help me but I push her away. I don't understand how she can still want to be with me."

 

"Would you still want to be with her if the roles were reversed?" Dr. Odé asked, the look in her eyes telling Carol that she already knew the answer but wanted to hear it.

 

"Of course I would, she's the love of my life…" she said and realised how dumb she had been to think Natasha could think about breaking up with her because of that, "She's staying even when I'm being the biggest asshole that has ever walked this planet…"

 

"Just like you would if you were at her place," the doc completed.

 

It was their promise to each other, they would never leave the other's side, even if one was being awful or feeling so much that it hurt the other. They didn't make it official by getting married yet but it was a step that they would take eventually, a step Carol was eager to take.

 

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Carol eventually muttered.

 

"So, what do you want to do now?"

 

Carol inhaled deeply, "I don't know," she sighed, "I definitely have to apologise but I'm thinking about something else."

 

"I'm listening."

 

"Maybe it's time for me and her to quit. The team is close to fully trained, when they will be they can handle protecting Earth on their own, they are stronger than we were back in 2012 so I'm not worried."

 

"So you think you're done with avenging?"

 

"Yeah, I've done my part, and much more than that. The only person I owe something is her, I owe her to be there for her like she is for me. We've been saying that we would stop soon and I need to do something else because being here didn't help me grieving at all. Maybe being more present for the case and potential trial."

 

"That would still disturb your grieving process, you need to keep your routine and forget this idea for a while. Adapt your normal life knowing that Maria is not in it anymore and let whoever's working on the case to do their job."

 

This advice wasn't for Carol's satisfaction but she supposed the doctor was right.

 

"Also, I'm not saying you can't quit whenever you and Natasha want but I think it would be good for you to see the end of the teams training. It's a whole year of your life, a whole chapter and you need to see how it goes and get closure on it too."

 

"Then I guess I'm not quitting yet," Carol said with a genuine smile, "Speaking of which, I should go back there. Maria is in charge and I'm not sure she was made to handle Pete and Sam."

 

"Of course. And you'll text me to let me know how it went with Natasha and I also want to see you regularly again."

 

Carol stopped at the door, "You got it, doc," she winked and stepped out of the office.

 

On her way to the field, Carol imagined twenty different scenarios that might have happened in training while she was not there but, when she got there, everything was fine. They were practising hand to hand combat, not what Carol had initially planned but it was always good for them to spar.

 

Maria was fighting against Pietro and kicking his ass, which was good for his ego, he needed to be reminded that he iwan't the best and strongest person around here. Wanda was fighting Sam and surprisingly holding on quite well considering the level of Sam's training. As for Rhodey and Vision, the former was struggling a lot because of Vision's natural strength that he couldn't really control, but Rhodey was still hitting some blows.

 

Seeing them all paired up, Carol wished Natasha was there so they could spar too but she didn't even know where she was. Looking for her wasn't a good idea, after their argument she said she needed air so Carol would let her on her own but she couldn't stop worrying for her and knowing where she was would help it stop.

 

Carol had a slight hope to find her in the kitchen when the team went there for lunch but the room was empty when they got there and nobody joined as they ate. In the middle of the meal, Wanda asked Carol where was Natasha and, even if she didn't want to lie, she had to or the young woman would worry.

 

Even if she told herself to not go after Natasha, Carol still checked their bedroom before going back to training. It was a desperate attempt, she knew it was the worst hiding place for the redhead and, of course, she wasn't there. She did go back at some point though because her pyjamas were in the bathroom but she didn't leave any note that would tell Carol where she went.

 

She was tempted to send another text, just to ask her if she was okay but she knew it wouldn't help and went back to the field. As hard as she tried, Carol couldn't concentrate, her mind was somewhere else, wondering how Natasha was doing and where she was. She was glad Maria was there, alone she wouldn't have been able to ensure training and couldn't have hidden that she and Natasha fought either.

 

Carol left before training was even finished because she really needed to talk to Natasha, to apologise for the way she treated her. On her way back to her room, she looked at her phone and saw one notification from Natasha. She instantly stopped walking and listened to Natasha's voicemail.

 

"Hey baby… I'm sorry I didn't text back or anything, I know you must be worried but I really needed to think about something else. I saw my therapist and we hang out in New York, talked a lot as well, I really needed that too… She made me realise that, since what happened to Maria, we haven't been the best to each other, we haven't been a team for two months now and I want it back, I want us back. I know it won't happen in two shakes of a lamb's tail, you still have to prioritise your grieving process but I'm hoping that, if we work together, we can do it… I should be back in a bit, I was thinking maybe we could talk and then have dinner just you and I, we haven't have a date night in a while and I really miss it… I hope your day was okay, I hope you saw Dr. Odé and talked with her. Anyway, I'll see you soon… I love you…"

 

Carol only noticed she had been crying when a sob escaped her throat. She wasn't exactly emotional – even though what Natasha moved her – but hearing Natasha's voice, so clam, so peaceful, was a big improvement compared to her voice when she left in the morning. As she saw when she received the voicemail, almost an hour ago, Carol rushed to her room and hoped Natasha was there.

 

When she entered, Carol found Natasha reading on the bed with Liho beside her. For a moment, Carol stood there and observed Natasha who had seen her but was letting her come to her.

 

After a small hesitation, Carol stepped forward and felt the emotion building up in her throat, "Hey. Can we talk?" she asked and could already tell it wouldn't take much for her to cry.

 

"Yeah," Natasha replied as she tossed her book on her nightstand and sat on the side of the bed, Carol shyly joining her, "come here," Natasha whispered and pulled Carol into a hug.

 

"I'm so sorry, baby. I've been so awful to you," Carol cried in her arms, "I'm so sorry for what I've said and what I've done lately."

 

"I know, my love," Natasha said as she pulled out of the hug and cupped Carol's cheeks, "I know you are hurting and you feel like no one can understand you, I've been there."

 

"And I shouldn't act like you've not. I'm being a bad girlfriend to you and losing Maria isn't an excuse for it. I should let you help me and I want to if you can forgive me."

 

"Of course I forgive you, baby. I know you didn't mean to hurt me and I know it often happens to hurt the people you love when you are hurting yourself."

 

Carol sniffled, "You've never hurt me when you were hurting."

 

"Well, we don't grieve the same but the fact that you want me to help is a good thing, you are moving forward."

 

"I don't wanna feel like this anymore."

 

Natasha smiled softly, "I know, baby. It will be okay soon, just don't push away what you feel, okay?" Carol nodded and lifted her head up, Natasha's hand finding her chin, "I love you, Carol Danvers. And I'm here for you, please remember this."

 

"I know you are," Carol muttered before kissing Natasha's lips, "I love you, too."

 

Natasha kissed her sweetly as her thumbs ran up and down Carol's cheeks and wiped away her tears, "So, what do you think about dinner?" she asked as they stared into each other's eyes.

 

Carol wasn't sure if Natasha wanted to go out and eat in a restaurant or to stay in the compound and just not eat in the kitchen with everybody. Carol knew what she wanted, and that was some private moment to show the love of her life how much affection she had for her and for that they had to stay in, "Yeah, I guess we could get something delivered, eat outside while watching the sunset with Liho and then… maybe come back here for more us stuff."

 

Natasha chuckled at this last part, "I'd love some us stuff, yes."

Chapter 54: Anger

Chapter Text

It all went really quickly, one moment the team was training in Tony's lab, the next Maria rushed in and told them Rumlow had been found. After two years of looking for him and zero info, they could finally catch him but they had to be fast. Within fifteen minutes, Carol put together a team with Wanda, Sam and Natasha and they took a quinjet to fly to Lagos, Nigeria.

 

Maria thought she would take the whole team with her for this mission considering how important it was but Carol said it was overkill, she and her three team mates could handle Rumlow and a few of his mercenaries with no problem. Also, she rather have with her someone like Sam who knew everything about Rumlow, how he fought and how he acted, than people she'd have to catch up on the case.

 

Wanda was there because of how powerful she was. Since they didn't know what was Rumlow's target, they had to be prepared for any scenario and having Wanda with them was very important advantage. This mission was a good test for the young Sokovian, her newly acquired observation and analysis skills would be very useful, it would be a great context for Carol to see with her own eyes if she was ready to be an Avenger, officially.

 

On the way to Nigeria, Carol was somehow not as nervous as she had imagined she would be. Rumlow was one of the last wanted person of HYDRA and she had been working very hard on this case to catch him but, as she piloted the jet, she was almost relieved that he had been found and not stressed that they might not catch him. Natasha still checked up on her, it was her first mission on the field in a long while, her first intense activity since Maria's passing but Carol assured she was all right.

 

Because they didn't know the target of Rumlow's incoming attack, they used a map of the city and had to guess where he could strike. The four of them agree on one potential target, the police precinct, what he had targetted in the past year according to Maria's intel. He and his men could get weapons there to be better armed for another, bigger attack somewhere else.

 

Now that they had a target, they needed a plan, and for that both Carol and Natasha were very precious. Carol wanted to observe the mission as a whole, to be everybody's eyes and hears and only intervene in case of emergency so she would hide in a building that would give her a global view of the city. Sam, with his wings and suit, had to stay hidden too until the bad guys would show up so he would be on the roof of a building and would scan the surroundings. As for Natasha and Wanda, they would be dressed as civilians and on the streets, at the terrace of a café close to the police precinct, ready to fight.

 

With that plan in mind, they landed on the Nigerian territory, at an airport close to the city, and went separate ways to get to their positions. They had to be discreet, although it was complicated for a bunch of Avengers in their superheroes suits to be discreet in the middle of a city, but Carol and Sam were trained enough to know which streets use to not be seen.

 

When they arrived at their positions, they all turned on their earpieces and waited for Carol's instruction. Carol was observing the surrounding of the police station, she noticed things, important things that she knew Natasha had seen before her but what she was interested in was if Wanda saw them.

 

"Okay Wanda, time to test your training. Tell me what you see."

 

"Standard beat cops, small station, quiet street. It's a good target."

 

This was a good start but Carol wanted more, she wanted to test Wanda's deduction skills so she tried to lead her where she wanted her, "You see the ATM on the south corner, what does that mean?"

 

"Cameras," Wanda instantly replied, which made Carol smile proudly, "Both cross streets are one-way-"

 

"So, compromised escape routes," Wanda said before Carol could.

 

"Which means he doesn't care to be seen or to hurt anybody. Now, do you see that Range Rover?"

 

Wanda slightly chuckled, "Yeah, the red one? It's cute."

 

"It's also bulletproof," Natasha intervened, "which means private security, which means more guns, which means more headaches for somebody. Probably us."

 

"You guys know I can move things with my mind, right?"

 

"Looking over your shoulder needs to become second nature," Natasha told her.

 

"Anybody ever tell you you're a little paranoid?" Sam said over the comms.

 

"Not to my face. Why? Did you hear something?"

 

"Focus people," Carol warned, "This is the best lead we've had on Rumlow since S.H.I.E.L.D collapsed, I don't want to lose him."

 

"If he sees us coming, that won't be a problem. He kind of hates us," Sam noted.

 

In other circumstances, Carol would have laughed but this mission was too important, there was too much on the line. They couldn't let him get away with all he had done, he had to be thrown in prison and to rot in it until the end of his life, that was the only option. Carol hated this man so much, not only because he was HYDRA but also because he hurt people close to her, physically or emotionally, and for that he had to pay.

 

As she kept an eye outside, Carol noticed a truck that had a weird behaviour, that hit, bumped and forced its way through other vehicles. It was too odd for her not to think it was a part of Rumlow's plan.

 

"Sam, the garbage truck," she said over the comms and he instantly launched his technology – Redwing – after it.

 

The twenty seconds between the moment Carol gave her order and the moment Sam got the infos felt like age, but then everything went very fast, "That truck's loaded for max weight and the driver's armed."

 

"It's a battering ram," Natasha commented and Carol instantly understood what it meant, "Time to go, now!"

 

They had to be fast because the truck was already close to what was Rumlow's actual target, the Institute for Infectious Diseases. It was the only place in the city protected enough to need a loaded truck to break through the security and there was most likely many things that could be of value if stolen and sold on the black market.

 

Whatever they were planning to steal, the team couldn't let that happen and Carol reminded them, "Tell me everything that you see, if needed, I'll intervene."

 

She received informations only from Sam at first since he was the first on scene, then, Wanda gave some more details but not precise enough to Carol's liking. From where she was, Carol had a bad angle but could still see a bit of what was happening and she didn't like it. There were many men with Rumlow, about a dozen, and they definitely didn't care about casualties, they even seemed to want to make as much as possible.

 

After a minute and Sam telling her there was still three hostiles outside and four inside with Rumlow in the middle of a fog of seemingly poisonous gas, Carol decided it was the moment for her to step in. She jumped out of the apartment she had been hiding in, flew in direction of the laboratory and entered by one of the already-broken window without fearing the gas.

 

If she could go inside and not be affected by the gas, all the unconscious people on the floor were at risk and Carol had to save them, "Wanda, take the gas out," she ordered as she made her way to Rumlow's last known location.

 

She didn't find him but she found what he stole, or rather where was stored what he stole, "Rumlow is on the move and he has a biological weapon," she informed as she blasted one of his men.

 

"I'm on it," Natasha replied.

 

"Be careful," Carol told her as she made her way to the lower floor to help the scientists hit by the gas to get out.

 

Carol knew Natasha was skilled enough to beat five men on her own, she never doubted it but there was always this little bit of fear in her when they were up against this kind of people who didn't care to hurt and kill. As she carried two people outside of the institute, she couldn't stop thinking about the redhead and was keeping close attention to what was happening in her earpiece.

 

When she heard an explosion – both in real life and in her ear – worried overwhelmed Carol but she quickly heard Natasha coughing and breathing and relaxed. It wasn't the best sign but it meant she was alive and if she really needed assistance, she would ask.

 

"They got away," Natasha panted a minute after the explosion, "they are heading north."

 

"Sam, you heard that?"

 

"Already following them," the Falcon said.

 

"Keep me posted," Carol ordered as she joined Wanda at the entry of the lab, "you've done great but this isn't over," she told her and nodded in direction of where Rumlow left.

 

At first, they ran, but when Sam told them that Rumlow and his men spilt up, they both got up in the air to join his position faster. Natasha was already after two of them, Sam was chasing another group, but they had no sign of Rumlow.

 

They were in the middle of a very crowded market, the people were scared to see the Avengers intervening in their city and needed to be reassured. Carol should be the one doing this part since she was mostly there to observe but there was too much at stake so instead she told Wanda to do it while she went after Rumlow.

 

It didn't take long for her to find him, he found her quickly and attacked her with an explosive that she caught and sent in the air before it could blow up and hurt people. Before she could tell the team that they had to find the biological weapon, Carol received a heavy punch in the back and got sent through a stall.

 

"There you are you bitch," Rumlow groaned as Carol tried to get back on her feet to fight him but, before she could, she took another blow, in the shoulder this time.

 

Fighting him was one thing but the most important was to make sure the biological weapon was not on him. If it was and that Carol broke it by accident, many people would be in danger so she had to wait until Natasha or Sam found it on someone else and, if they didn't, she would have to improvise.

 

She tried to keep him at a safe distance of her and the people that were running away but what he wanted was to beat the shit out of her, he wanted revenge for what happened in Washington and he had good tech to hurt her. Empowered Carol would not fear his punches and daggers but the non-using-her-powers Carol had to be careful.

 

They fought for a couple minutes before she heard the good news in her ear from Natasha, "Payload secured."

 

This was all she needed to really fight him but, as she got close to him, she noticed a red and black wire. She wasn't an expert in explosive but this looked a lot like he had a bomb vest on and it could not go off in the middle of this city.

 

But when she saw it, he saw that she saw and was about to set it off. Hopefully, Carol was way faster and she jumped on him and stopped him from pressing the button but he fought back. He punched her right in the ribs, then in the arm that was holding his. All he wanted was to free his hand to blow up with all the people around them but Carol didn't let that happen.

 

When another strike hit her head, she started shining and flew, they were only a few meters up but they were far enough of the civilians. Carol's head was spinning so hard that she didn't notice that she let go off his hand but she did feel the following explosion. Thanks to her powers, she didn't get hurt at all, but a few people that had not fled the scene for some reasons got burned by the blast.

 

Carol landed hard on her back as the last remains of Rumlow slowly burnt a couple meters away and panted heavily until a well known hand offered to help her back on her feet.

 

"You are not done Captain, some people still need you," Natasha said and pointed at a group of people who's skins had burnt or received debris in the explosion.

 

For the next three hours, the team helped the local first responders to treat the people who got injured and to drive the most hurt to the hospital. Carol hated that it took that much time, it meant that there were many causalities, way more than their goal, zero. It was hard for them to prevent this, especially when they were getting the intel late like they did this time, but Carol eventually wanted to get there. The fact that civilians got hurt was bad news, there would be backlash. The media loved to blame the Avengers and even if, when they left the Nigerian territory, there was no death, they would be on the front page of every newspaper.

 

In the quinjet, Carol couldn't stop to chew over what happened, how it went wrong and the ways they could have avoided all of this. The only thing she could conclude was the lack of informations, if they had known sooner all of Rumlow's actions in the past two years, maybe they could have stopped him sooner.

 

Back at the compound, Carol rushed to Maria's office. She held her accountable for all the injured people because – again – she was keeping informations for herself, surely because Nick was asking her to.

 

"Why does he want to keep us in the dark this time, huh? What is so big that only he and you can know?" she asked violently as Natasha tried to hold her back.

 

"It's not just a he and I thing," Maria said but it just made Carol even more angry than she already was.

 

Natasha was between Maria and Carol now, doing her best to push her girlfriend away but she knew it wouldn't be easy, "Carol, come on, we can do this civilly."

 

"Why should we when she keep stuff from us all this time? Or maybe you are in the loop, that's why you don't want to know."

 

"Trust me if I knew anything I would have told you. I can't lie to you, remember?" Natasha reminded the Captain, "Now, please, can we all sit down and talk about this like adults."

 

After a loud sigh, Carol looked at Maria and back at Natasha who was smiling at her. The redhead knew it was the moment for Maria to tell them the truth, she couldn't hide anything anymore, that was why she was so calm. Carol still had good reasons to be angry but Natasha was right, they could do this like civilised individuals.

 

However, if Maria was about to reveal a big secret, Carol wanted everybody to know it and to hear it from her, "Okay, we can talk about it but I want the whole team to be there."

 

"Even Tony?" Maria asked.

 

"No, he will get an update, but the New Avengers must know."

 

"Okay then," Maria exhaled as she took her phone and called Sam.

 

Within ten minutes, they were all there, completely confused but willing to listen. They were all standing behind Carol and Natasha who were seated in front of Maria's desk and waited in silence.

 

It took Maria another three minutes to gather files around her office and then she finally sat at her desk, "Okay, so, what do you wanna know?"

 

"You're kidding, right?" Carol scoffed, "For starters, how come we only got to know about Rumlow's MO ten minutes before the mission when you gathered intel for months?"

 

"Because S.H.I.E.L.D was on the case," Maria replied bluntly.

 

"Wait up, S.H.I.E.L.D?" Sam asked.

 

"Yes. After Washington, we faked S.H.I.E.L.D's dismantling and only kept the agents we knew could be trusted. Agent May, Johnson, Simmons, and a few others, are still S.H.I.E.L.D agents but underground. They are the ones who've been gathering intel and fighting against most of what is left of HYDRA."

 

"So what have we been doing?" Wanda asked her.

 

"You intervened when S.H.I.E.L.D couldn't or when your powers could make the missions easier."

 

Carol didn't know what to say. After the collapse of S.H.I.E.L.D, she thought it was over, just like she asked Nick but again, he went behind her back and did things his way. She shouldn't be surprised by this, she knew him too well to expect anything from him but the bit of normal that she got after Ultron made her lose her focus on what was happening around her, she was just seeing herself and Natasha.

 

The latter didn't seem that much surprised by the news, although she looked disappointed, "What is your role in all this, you give them what we find since they can be trusted?"

 

"I'm not working for S.H.I.E.L.D anymore and if anything, I take infos they give me to give them to you, not the other way around."

 

"But you're still controlling what can or cannot reach us."

 

"Well that's the role you asked me to have, so yes. But trust me, most of what they do, you don't need to know about. And, as for Rumlow, it was only a matter of circumstances, they found out yesterday that he wanted revenge against you for what happened in Washington otherwise they would have given you the case sooner."

 

"I kinda figured that out myself when he punched me with all his strength," Carol said jokingly.

 

"Good thing you can take a punch," Maria replied, "Anyway, I know it will be hard for you to trust me now but I assure you, I'm doing what I can with what I know. Now, I can give you those files, it's basically all the infos on not solved cases that have been kept from you about HYDRA."

 

"I'll take them all, thank you," Carol said as she got up and took the dozen files, "I'd thank you but I'm not sure I can forgive you yet."

 

"I get that and I'm not expecting you to."

 

After a glance at Natasha and the team, Carol told them to leave with a nod. She and Natasha were the last to step out of the office and didn't say a word until they arrived to their room.

 

"Why do I feel like you had doubts about this whole thing?" Carol asked her girlfriend as she tossed the files on her desk.

 

"Because after Ultron and the way Nick showed up out of the blue I figured there was something going on but I never looked for answers."

 

"Why?"

 

"I guess I didn't want answers. I just want to be an Avenger and to be with you, the rest, they can handle."

 

Carol sighed as she sat on the bed, "Maybe you're right, maybe we should just do our part with the New Avengers and then let them in charge of it all. I'm tired of all those secrets."

 

Natasha joined Carol on the bed and rested her head on her shoulder, "I know you are, I am too. Maybe it is time for us to really consider retiring."

 

"I've been considering it for weeks."

 


 

"How did it go?"

 

"She knows about S.H.I.E.L.D, well… they all do now."

 

"You didn't tell her about S.W.OR.D, right?"

 

"Of course I didn't. I remember what Maria told you, she can't know so I lied, but I showed her some files and she is more willing to trust me now."

 

"What about the Accords?"

 

"I didn't tell them. I didn't see how it was relevant, they will have to sign them anyway and I rather not be the one telling them."

 

"Oddly I think she might be okay with it."

 

"I really doubt it Nick but I guess we'll see… very soon."

Chapter 55: Bargaining

Notes:

tw anxiety attack

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Just like Carol had anticipated, the Avengers were on the front page of every newspaper of the US and the rest of the world. Some were full of praise, they painted the Avengers as saviours of a nation because they prevented a biological weapon to be sell to bad people, and others were saying Rumlow would never have wanted to steal this weapon if the Avengers didn't exist in the first place.

 

Of course, Carol was only reading the bad articles because she felt guilty for all the people that got injured. Hopefully, nobody died after they left, but some were still in very bad shape and she could not forget them, they were the ones she wanted to remember.

 

What was weird was that they didn't hear from the Nigerian government directly after the events, they were usually thanked for preventing crisis but this time, nothing. However, a few countries spoke about the matter, including Wakanda who blamed the Avengers for the casualties way more than the others. Something felt really off about this whole situation and if Carol had still been trusting Maria, she would ask her if she knew anything but since she didn't anymore, she kept her doubts to herself and waited for a 'big thing' to come.

 

And the big thing came two weeks after the events with Secretary Ross visiting the Avengers compound. For the occasion, Tony was there too but Maria wasn't, which confirmed to Carol that she knew something.

 

The whole team was called to the meeting room to attend to whatever Ross had to say. Carol and Natasha were both surprised that the new recruits were invited to this meeting, they usually received the orders and directives and gave them later to the rest of the team. They all seemed confused to be there but sat at the table anyway while Tony was slouching on an armchair, a few meters away from the rest of the group.

 

Ross stepped in accompanied by a muscular man, Carol couldn't tell if he was a body guard or an assistant but he had a large kind of book in his hands and she had a bad feeling about it. The Secretary began his speech by talking about the time he had a heart attack and it made Carol wonder what was the point of it all but he quickly reached it.

 

"I found something 40 years in the Army had never taught me… Perspective," he said and paused to look at everybody in the room, "The world owes the Avengers an unpayable debt. You have fought for us… protected us, risked your lives… but while a great many people see you as heroes… there are some… who would prefer the word "vigilantes"."

 

"Some planets in the universe would kill to have what Earth has, you know," Carol replied before Natasha could speak, "I've seen so many planets reduced to ashes because they couldn't fight back, but here we did, and not just once."

 

"You are right, Captain, and while we are grateful for all the help you and the Avengers brought when Loki attacked New York, some people think that when it comes to humans on Earth, maybe you shouldn't be deployed."

 

"Even when these humans threaten the lives of millions? Then what are we?"

 

"How about "dangerous"?"

 

Carol snickered, "Everybody is dangerous in their own way."

 

"That's true Captain but what would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals… who routinely ignore sovereign borders… and inflict their will wherever they choose… and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?"

 

Carol wanted to reply but Natasha stopped her by putting her hand on her thigh. The redhead knew that what Ross said made her blood boil, he didn't know anything about Carol's guilt when they left injured or dead civilians behind, or her will to ask permission before intervening. There was no going back anyway, whatever Ross came to present to them, it was probably already ready to be signed by the US government and maybe others.

 

Ross continued by showing them images of the crisis they fought and didn't forget to mention the number of deaths and injured people. Carol and Natasha were the common factor of all four places he presented, New York, Washington, Sokovia and Lagos, they were there every time and couldn't stop any of it. Or maybe they could have, Carol thought as she remembered the many times she should have done something in New York.

 

"Alright, we get it!" she eventually told him, "get to the point."

 

"For the past four years, you've operated with unlimited power and no supervision, that's an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate," he said and his man handed him the book, "But I think we have a solution," he added and gave it to Wanda – of all people, "The Sokovia Accords, approved by 117 countries. It states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organisation. Instead… they'll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel… only when and if that panel deems it necessary."

 

For a few seconds, no one talked, the twins seemed completely lost, Sam didn't look happy but he was clearly keeping his anger for himself and Carol was too tired to even try to argue. Tony, Vision and Natasha kept quiet as well but Rhodey eventually spoke, "So, there are contingencies."

 

"Three days from now, the UN meets in Vienna to ratify the Accords. Talk it over."

 

"And if we come to a decision you don't like?" Natasha asked before he could leave.

 

"Then you retire," Ross replied and left.

 

Natasha smiled, "It doesn't sound so bad actually," she said under her breath, knowing only Carol would hear it.

 

Carol could understand why Natasha was thinking about the retiring option, she did too, a lot, but it was not the right moment for that. The new team wasn't totally trained yet, they were close to it, maybe a couple months or so, but Carol couldn't leave before their training was over. Also, she couldn't imagine giving up and leaving the Avengers alone to handle these new rules, they had to discuss it together and come to agreement.

 

The first to leave the meeting room was Sam and they successively followed until it was only Carol alone with the Accords on the table. For a moment, she stared at this manuscript and all the headaches that it would give her and finally took it to join the team.

 

The most important thing they had to do was to read what was inside, but they only have three days and the Accords have hundreds of pages, even the fastest reader couldn't finish it that quickly.

 

While Sam was starting to share his thoughts (against the Accords), Carol read the contents page to find points on which the Avengers might want to negotiate. She already had some ideas but she was sure some points in these Accords would be bad, non-practical or even completely absurd. Around her, the conversation was becoming heated between Sam and Rhodey, the latter saying that they couldn't just decide against the Accords when 117 countries agreed on them.

 

Carol was partly listening but, for her, Sam had a point, the Accords could be dangerous for enhanced individuals if they didn't pay attention to all the details that were written in them.

 

"I think we have to negotiate on some of the things in there," she suddenly interrupted, "I already see one thing that bothers me."

 

"What is it?" Rhodey asked.

 

"It says nowhere in the United Nations panel paragraphs that we will have someone there to represent us and I think that's wrong," she said and started quoting the text, "'The Avengers will be under strict control of the United Nations panel who's representatives of the hundred and seventeen countries will decide when and where the Avengers shall intervene.' so we basically can't say no."

 

"Or say yes but under certain conditions," Sam added.

 

Their conversation was stopped by Tony laughing. They all turned to look at him and rose eyebrows or frowned.

 

"What's so funny?" Wanda asked him.

 

He chuckled some more as he stood up and went to the kitchen, "You really think we can negotiate after what we've done? Don't you think it's too late?"

 

"Well, we weren't given a choice. They gave us three days before the Accords are ratified so we take these three days and try to make changes where we think there should be some," Carol replied.

 

"You are putting too much energy in this, Cap. Even if we manage to all agree on changes, we will never get them fast enough."

 

"Actually we have you and your bunch of lawyers," Natasha pointed out, "I'm sure it would be easier if we have the help of professional."

 

"I'm not involving anybody until we are clear on what we want."

 

Carol scoffed, "Okay then, let's talk."

 

They agreed without any argument on their first demand: Having a seat for a representative of the Avengers all the time. For now they didn't know who but one of the options was Maria, even though Carol had some difficulties to trust her after the recent events. It was a job that Carol could see Natasha do after they retire and maybe the redhead was thinking about it too, but for now it was out of the question.

 

As Carol read more of the Accords – this time out loud to the whole team – they found a paragraph that the majority really didn't like: 'Any enhanced individuals who use their powers to break the law (including those who take part in extralegal vigilante activities), or are otherwise deemed to be a threat to the safety of the general public, may be detained indefinitely without trial.'

 

For Carol, Wanda and Sam, there was no way they could accept that, because if they believed what was considered an 'enhanced individual', they were all a one, even those without powers like Rhodey and Sam, and therefore they wouldn't get a trial. Sam was adamant, he wouldn't sign the Accords if this was not changed and it made Tony laugh again.

 

"Don't you think this part is wrong?" his best friend asked him.

 

"To be honest I have a hard time telling what's wrong and what's right, Rhodes."

 

Carol rolled her eyes, "Come on, Tony, what if you kill someone by accident?"

 

"How do you kill someone by accident?"

 

"I don't know, a car crash."

 

"You read the thing, right? It says if using powers."

 

"Right! And we know that law enforcement isn't corrupted at all," Carol said with an obvious ironic tone, "Even if it is an accident, they can use the fact that we are enhanced to put us in jail, especially those who hate us."

 

"I think you are a little paranoid."

 

"And I think you need to see it from a bigger angle, Tony," Natasha told him, "Being paranoid, in that case, is actually not that bad. We've been used to be above the laws, above any kind of law enforcement but with this we aren't anymore and they can and I'm sure will use it against us."

 

"It's not about not being held accountable for our actions," Carol added, "you know I've always thought we should have been, but it's about respecting our rights as humans, because even if enhanced, we are still human-beings."

 

"Except for me," Vision commented.

 

"Yes, and as such you will be tracked everywhere you go. Do you really want that, Vis?" Wanda asked as she showed him the point that said that people with innate powers would have to wear tracking bracelets.

 

"It's not about what I want but about what is right, Wanda. As a Synthezoid I am seen as dangerous and rightfully so, therefore I accept the consequences."

 

"Right! But who has innate powers except for Vis? I mean, we all got those powers at some point in our lives, right?"

 

Carol shook her head, "Not Thor, but I'm not sure they can force him to sign this…" Carol replied but a thought came to her mind, "I hope they don't consider us like that because we have the powers within us, if so that's another thing I would disagree on."

 

"We didn't even agree on the previous point," Tony grumbled.

 

"We are all in agreement but you, Tony. And to be honest, I don't see why you don't," Rhodey said.

 

"Alright, okay! Everybody deserves a trial, next point."

 

With their first demand, they added two: giving trials to enhanced people (for the sole reason that they are human-beings and have rights) and clarifying the term innate powers. After these, they didn't find anymore things that seemed wrong to them so some took a break while Tony was calling his lawyer.

 

Carol and Natasha stayed in the living area with him and Rhodey and waited for the lawyer's answers. Carol couldn't stop bouncing her legs because of her stress level that hadn't been decreasing once in the day. Natasha quickly noticed the non-stopping motions of her girlfriend and went to see her.

 

"You okay, my love?" she asked as she squatted in front of her.

 

Carol took a couple seconds to look at her and replied shyly, "Yeah… just tired."

 

Natasha nodded and cupped Carol's cheek to pull her closer to her, "I love you," she said and kissed her forehead.

 

"You, too," Carol muttered and suddenly got up when Tony hung up his call, "What did they say?"

 

Tony scratched the back of his head, "One of them was on the phone with me while another was with one of the people of the United Nations panel and they said they would consider our demands and give us an answer tomorrow night at worst."

 

"What about the power thing?" Rhodey asked.

 

"They said that Vision is obviously included in the enhanced people with innate powers, so is Thor and you," he pointed at Carol, "since they think you're Kree and that your powers come from that."

 

Carol sighed, "Well, I guess I have to come clean to the United Nations about my true identity."

 

"Actually, I asked them something about the anonymity that they mentioned in the very beginning and only the members of the panel would be aware of the identities so to the people you will still be the cool woman from space."

 

Carol laughed, "You know I really don't care if they see me as a space woman or an Earth woman but it's good to know for other people."

 

"Yep. And as for people like us, we are considered enhanced for our tech, suits and other stuff that give us superhuman capacities. The twins are not in the same category as Vision although they are considered dangerous just like you are but they won't have to be tracked so that's a good point… I think."

 

"All right, so we have to wait for their feedbacks on our demands and then go straight to Vienna to be there to sign," Carol said as she thought out loud.

 

"We are not all required to go to Vienna, they will send us a copy of the modified Accords before the meeting and those who are not going will have to sign this one. I doubt I will go, honestly."

 

"We will," Natasha said, "Carol and I will go. There you can tell that you are from Earth so they can exclude you from the tracking program. Meanwhile Rhodey, you'll have to handle training."

 

Rhodey smiled, "Wouldn't be a first," he said with an amused tone and pulled Tony out of the living room.

 

Without any word, Carol stepped out of the living room at a fast pace, Natasha struggling to follow her. When they arrived in their bedroom, Carol suddenly stopped and leaned forward as she put her hands on her knees. Natasha knew what was going on, she suspected it earlier when they Tony was on the phone, she was having an anxiety attack.

 

It most likely started to build up with Ross and the meeting and the rest of the afternoon real didn't help her. Now that Carol was at the peak of it, she had a hard time breathing and her heart was beating too fast. If Natasha couldn't do a lot for the second problem, she knew many breathing exercises (some that Carol taught her) that would help her, and it could also slow her heartbeat.

 

"Carol, look at me," she said as she knelt before the blonde and tucked her hair behind her ears, "I need you to look at me and do what I do, okay?" she added and took a short step back to give her more air.

 

Carol nodded as she struggled to swallow and let Natasha guide her so she was standing properly. Natasha kept her distance but put her right hand on Carol's chest to feel her heartbeat, "Okay, try to follow my breathing rhythm and tell me five things you see."

 

To steady herself, Carol seized Natasha's wrist with her right hand and covered the hand that was on her chest with her own, "I- I see you…" she began and exhaled a shaking breath, "um, I- um, Liho on our bed," she continued but her breathing sped up.

 

"It's good baby," Natasha assured, "take your time, okay? And follow my lead."

 

Carol nodded and swallowed hard, "I see you, Liho, the sun setting outside… this book that you never finished on the shelf and um… the undone bed."

 

"Good. Now tell me four things you can feel."

 

Carol closed her eyes and released a long breath, "I feel… my hair on the back of my neck. The air conditioning… I feel your hand on my chest and your warm skin under mine."

 

Natasha could already tell that it was working, Carol's heartbeat had slowed and she was following her breathing pattern without thinking about it but she still encouraged her, "Perfect, now three things you can hear."

 

"Your voice, Liho purring and… birds tweeting outside."

 

"Two things you can smell," Natasha said and took a step forward.

 

"Your perfume… god I love it so much and," she paused and chuckled, "Liho's litter that needs to be changed."

 

Natasha let out a laugh, "True… one thing you can taste," she asked and pressed her forehead against Carol's.

 

Carol still had her eyes closed but Natasha couldn't stop looking at her and she saw her smile, "What's left of your chap stick from when you kissed me earlier," Carol concluded and slipped her left hand in Natasha's, "Thank you."

 

"You did so well, my love," Natasha whispered and pulled Carol in her arms, "I'm proud of you."

 

They rocked in the middle of their room for a couple minutes, Natasha telling Carol how proud of her she was every few seconds while the blonde replied with I love yous. Another minute passed and they were still in each other's arms, holding each other as if someone was going to rip them apart and take them away forever, but this person never came.

 

However, Liho woke up and wanted attention. She got up and meowed at their feet and rubbed her face on their ankles, causing Carol to break into a laugh. After giving a kiss to Natasha, she squatted down to pick up the cat and stood up, "I think she is trying to tell us that we indeed have to change her litter."

 

Natasha giggled as she stroked Liho's head and pressed a kiss on top of it, "We'll do that later, okay? For now, I think we should talk a little."

 

Carol knew where she was going with this and, as much as she hated it, she agreed that they had to talk about why she had an anxiety attack. As Natasha sat on the bed, Carol went to the French doors and opened it to let Liho wander around for her daily stroll while they would talk.

 

When Carol sat beside Natasha, she expected her to ask a question, to start the conversation, but Natasha didn't say anything and just held her hand.

 

"I don't know how I let it happen," Carol eventually said, "I could feel it coming during the meeting, it got worst when they all left for the living room and at that moment I had a window to take a break and I didn't. I just… let it happen."

 

"You had a lot on your mind, you weren't thinking straight, that's okay. We were all overwhelmed by the news, I mean I didn't see that you weren't good until the very last minutes because I was thinking a lot too. Don't be mad at yourself because it happened."

 

"What were you thinking about?" Carol asked, deliberately changing the subject.

 

Natasha had noticed of course but she let her because she had been through a lot and deserved some rest, "I'm wondering if I should tell the UN about the ceremony and… you know."

 

Carol had almost forgotten about this detail but it was an important point, "Who knows outside of me and Nick?" she asked.

 

Natasha hummed as she thought, "Maria does."

 

"What about your sister?"

 

Natasha frowned, "What about her?"

 

"Didn't you tell me she was there during your last fight?"

 

"I'm not sure it was her and I doubt she knows what happened to me, except if they did it to her too."

 

"So only Maria."

 

"Except if Alexei knows somehow…" Natasha muttered and turned mute.

 

Carol looked at her with confusion, "Who's Alexei?"

 

Natasha had not thought of him in years. If she was being honest she did her best to not think about this time of her life because she missed it and she knew that at least one of them was dead, if not all three. She did so well at forgetting this part of her life that she never told Carol, she told her basically everything but she never mentioned these three years of her childhood.

 

"He's um… like an adoptive father."

 

"But I thought you spent your whole childhood in the Red Room."

 

"Well I actually didn't, not really," Natasha said as she fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, "When I was seven, a man came into our room and he took me. At first I thought he was going to kill me so I resisted but then we got to his car and there were toys and food, everything I didn't have in the Red Room so I let him take me. He drove for so long that I fell asleep on the back seat and when I woke up we were in a plane… I had never taken a plane once in my life before. I was scared, there were turbulences so he took me in his arms and lulled me back to sleep. That's Alexei."

 

"Where did you go then?" asked a very interested Carol.

 

"Cuba. We made a stop there, we met with a woman named Melina, she had a two years old in her arms, Yelena, and we took another plane and went to Ohio. We played family for more than three years, Alexei and Melina had a mission and when they succeeded, I was sent back to the Red Room and Yelena was too, she was just six..."

 

"God… I never heard of that."

 

"That's because I never talked about it when I joined S.H.I.E.L.D so it's not in my file and I just kinda deleted it of my memory."

 

Carol smiled, "Because it was a good part of your life but it was just an act?"

 

"Basically, yes."

 

"Yet you still call Yelena your sister."

 

Natasha sighed as she matched Carol's gaze, "I just… don't know how else to call her, she wasn't a friend or a cousin, she was my sister."

 

"And Alexei was your father."

 

"I see where you are going with this and trust me, I know I still have many unsolved problems," Natasha said and sat up, "one day I will deal with this but for now we have some more urgent things to deal with."

 

"Right, okay… So, if they don't know and only Maria and Nick are aware then I guess we can trust them to keep quiet. And it's not like you weren't going to be considered enhanced anyway, they don't have to know how much you are."

 

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

 

"I am!" Carol said with a proud smile, "and you know what I am right about too?" she added with a smirk.

 

"No..?"

 

"We didn't cuddle today!" she exclaimed and launched herself on Natasha.

 

Saying that they didn't have their daily cuddle session was an easy way for Carol to get the comfort she needed after what happened earlier. Natasha was more than happy to give her all the hugs and touches she wanted, she herself felt the need to be close to her and the longer the better.

 

Nobody disturbed them for an hour and a half, and when they got called, it was for a good news. Tony told them that the United Nations panel were still thinking about the trials for enhanced individuals but they had agreed to give them a seat at the panel and they reached out to them because they wanted a name.

 

With a single glance, Carol and Natasha knew who was the right choice and they said in unison, "Maria."

Notes:

For those who wonder what’s in the Sokovia Accords, this is what I found on the MCU wiki page and I based

• Any enhanced individuals who agree to sign must register with the United Nations and provide biometric data such as fingerprints and DNA samples.
◦ Those with secret identities must reveal their legal names and true identities to the United Nations.
◦ Those with innate powers must submit to a power analysis, which will categorize their threat level and determine potential health risks.
◦ Those with innate powers must also wear tracking bracelets at all times.
• Any enhanced individuals who sign are prohibited from taking action in any country other than their own unless they are first given clearance by either that country's government or by a United Nations subcommittee.
◦ Governments are forbidden from deploying enhanced individuals outside of their own national borders unless those individuals are given clearance as described above. The same rule also applies to non-government organizations that operate on a global scale (including S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers).
• Any enhanced individuals who do not sign will not be allowed to take part in any police, military, or espionage activities, or to otherwise participate in any national or international conflict, even in their own country.
◦ As a corollary, they will not be allowed to participate in any active missions undertaken by private or governmental law enforcement/military/intelligence organizations (such as S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers).
• Any enhanced individuals who use their powers to break the law (including those who take part in extralegal vigilante activities), or are otherwise deemed to be a threat to the safety of the general public, may be detained indefinitely without trial.
◦ If an enhanced individual violates the Accords, or obstructs the actions of those enforcing the Accords, they may likewise be arrested and detained indefinitely without trial.
• The use of technology to bestow individuals with innate superhuman capabilities is strictly regulated, as is the use and distribution of highly advanced technology (such as Asgardian and Chitauri weaponry).
◦ The creation of self-aware artificial intelligence is completely prohibited.
• The Avengers will no longer be a private organization and will operate under the supervision of the United Nations.

Chapter 56: Guilt

Chapter Text

If the United Nations panel was always that fast to take decisions, Carol wouldn't have to worry about the Avengers arriving too late on a mission. They reached out again during the night to agree with their last demand, they hadn't rewritten all the articles concerning this point but it would be done for the ratifying of the Accords.

 

Now that they had been heard, the Avengers were all in agreement to sign the Accords, Natasha and Carol being the first to do it at a pre-meeting before the official ratifying with many head of state and other politicians. The United Nations was handling the transport of all the people that had to be in Vienna so the couple only needed to get ready and take the car that would come to pick them up.

 

Their flight was in the evening so they had the whole day to prepare. They wouldn't stay for long so they only packed up one casual outfit and one more formal for the meeting. Then, they explained to Rhodey what they had scheduled for training for the next four days and reminded Sam of Liho's habits, because he would be the one looking after her while they would be gone. The rest of their day consisted of cuddles with the black cat, Natasha promising her that they would be back very soon while Carol was scratching her neck and belly.

 

When the time to leave came, they said goodbye to all the Avengers present at the compound (all the team minus Rhodey) and went to the car. They were surprised by how expensive it seemed to be, it was most likely bulletproof and had tinted windows. Carol felt like she was the president in this vehicle, only the dozen of bodyguards were missing.

 

Inside, on the back seats, they could barely see the driver and they didn't seem disposed to talk anyway. Instead of making conversation with them, the couple chatted together about Vienna, a city that the redhead had been to a few times but the Captain never did. Natasha and Carol were so busy talking that they didn't notice that they weren't going to the JFK international airport but to a private one.

 

They waited a little in the car after the driver had parked but they said nothing so they stepped out. The surprise was big when they saw the jet on the tarmac with the pilot at the door with a stewardess. He welcomed the couple and the woman led them to their seats. After the big car, they shouldn't have imagined that they would take a classic plane in second class but they didn't expect such a luxurious jet either.

 

The stewardess offered them cocktails and asked what they would take for dinner, because of course there was a chef in the back of the plane. Even if they had eaten snacks before leaving, they both picked a meal on the list the stewardess gave them. A couple of minutes later, she came back with their drinks, but the pilot was still outside and the plane far from taking off.

 

"Is the weather not good enough for take off?" Carol asked the stewardess, the experience she gathered in her years in the air force coming back as she looked at the widow and saw a windsock slightly gliding in the air.

 

"No, we are waiting for someone," the stewardess replied and two seconds later, the someone entered the plane, followed by the pilot.

 

"Maria?" Natasha said, confused.

 

The dark haired woman scoffed, "Don't look so surprised, you named me after all, didn't you?"

 

"We did. We just didn't know you would be there."

 

"Well, the United Nation are paying for jets, they had to make it profitable by putting as much people in them as possible."

 

"I don't think a jet is ever profitable," Carol pointed out.

 

"Fair point," Maria agreed and sat on the last empty seat.

 

After a short speech from the pilot, the jet took off in direction of Vienna, Austria. The stewardess asked Maria if she wanted a meal – just like she did with the couple – and left to the kitchen. Carol quickly got bored of waiting for her food, she hated to just sit and do nothing, and since she didn't bring a book or anything that could distract her while waiting, she went to the cockpit and talked to the pilot.

 

Meanwhile, Natasha and Maria remained silent, or they tried for a minute or two and the latter eventually gave in, "Why me?" she asked and turned her face to Natasha, "After all the fuss you made with the Rumlow thing, I never thought you would trust me for this kind of thing."

 

"Even if you kept informations from us, you are still the best for this job," Natasha replied, "Yes, you disappointed us the other time but with this position you are at the top of the ladder, nobody can be above you, you are the only person taking the decisions for us."

 

"You think I was influenced by Nick…"

 

"Tell me you weren't," Natasha retorted.

 

"Of course I was!" Maria exclaimed, "What Rumlow was doing was way under what you guys should be doing and Nick and I both agreed that you should stay out of it. Plus, other people could handle it."

 

"They handled it so well that he became uncontrollable and we had to stop him. If we had known from the start we could have stopped him sooner and many problems would have been avoided. I know that we are meant for bigger threats than humans but when the human is that strong and have that much grudge against us, we should be the ones trying to stop him, and it's not like Carol and Sam haven't tried."

 

Maria rolled her eyes, "There is no point going over this now, it happened, it's on me, that's it…" she paused and waited for Natasha to match her gaze to continue, "Just know that I'm grateful that you are willing to trust me and I'll do my best to represent the Avengers."

 

"Good to know," Carol said before Natasha could speak as she came back from the cockpit, "I was hoping you still had some loyalty towards us."

 

"You know, it's more about what's best for everybody than about siding with my friends."

 

Carol smirked, "I know, I'm just glad to hear that you do consider us your friends."

 

Maria was about to reply – surely in her classical sassy way – when the stewardess arrived with their plates. After dinner, she offered them the cabin to sleep – since they still had eight hours of flight. Natasha and Carol were tempted but they asked Maria if she wanted to go first, and when she said no, they went there and slept for six hours.

 

They landed at one in the afternoon, the ride to the hotel went well and they settled in their rooms before going to the restaurant of the hotel. The couple thought they would eat dinner with Maria – they had talked about it in the plane – but she texted them to warned them that she wasn't available because she had to dine with some members of the United Nations panel.

 

When they presented themselves at the counter, a man show them the way to their table and someone was already there, waiting for them, "Miss Romanoff, Miss Danvers, I am T'Challa, son of King T'Chaka of Wakanda."

 

They both shook his hand and sat around the table, not sure what to do or say, "I think we are here because we are not of the United Nations panel, they are all gathered in another room."

 

"So I presume your father will have Wakanda's seat at the panel?" Natasha asked.

 

"He does, yes. As the King, only he can have the responsibility to make these choices for our people."

 

The three of them had a very interesting dinner, Carol and Natasha both really curious to know more about the country of Wakanda and the Prince T'Challa asking them many questions concerning what they thought of the Accords. They eventually talked about other subjects, less political ones and had a lovely time that only stopped when the waiter asked them to leave because it was late.

 

The couple went back to their room – or rather to Natasha's since the UN had booked a room for each of them, not knowing they were dating – and went straight to bed because they had to get up at eight to go to the pre-meeting in the morning.

 

A few minutes after their alarm rang, someone knocked on the door. It was the room service, bringing breakfast to Natasha. The woman didn't hide her surprise when she saw the blonde opening the door when she was expecting a redhead so Carol told her that she and Natasha were a couple. After a smile, the woman gave Carol her breakfast as well as Natasha's and left after wishing them a good day.

 

Natasha was the first to finish her breakfast and therefore the first in the shower. Carol joined her quickly but she was still under the water when her girlfriend stepped out of the bathroom, already fully dressed. While Carol was getting dressed, Natasha cleaned the table and gathered hers and Carol's stuff. They weren't going to stay for long after the meeting, they only had a couple hours before a car would take them to the airport so Natasha preferred to get ready now.

 

She was almost done when Carol exited the bathroom and, if it wasn't for her very deep V-neck distracting her, Natasha would have asked her to help her finish tidying up.

 

Instead, the smaller woman completely stopped what she was doing and slowly approached her girlfriend, her eyes not leaving Carol's chest, "Oh! Ms. Danvers, I think we might have a problem."

 

"What is it?" Carol asked with a slight smirk, knowing Natasha was flirting and she played along.

 

"I doubt I can let you go to the UN meeting in this outfit and so much cleavage visible," Natasha told her as she reached for the collar of Carol's shirt, "it would disturb all the attendees."

 

"Such a shame, I really wanted to go to this meeting," Carol said with a fake disappointed pout, "I heard someone there likes me and I'd like to know their name," she added and closed the gap between hers and Natasha's lips.

 

Natasha let out a soft hum into the kiss and smiled, she loved it when Carol was being playful, it brought some spice in their couple. Because of course, Carol wasn't going to go to the meetings with her shirt barely buttoned up, she only kept it open for Natasha's eyes, and she enjoyed it greatly.

 

Before Carol could slip her tongue in her mouth, Natasha pulled away, "Really though, I think it's unfair that you have such a perfect front," she purred as she ran her middle finger between Carol's breasts and down to her abs, "and such a perfect back," she added before cupping Carol's ass with both her hands and pulled her closer, "How come you are so perfect?"

 

"I think you might be biased, baby," Carol replied as she nuzzled her nose, "but I like the way you worship my body."

 

"Just like you worship mine," Natasha whispered to Carol's ear before pressing a kiss in her neck, "which really helps me with self confidence."

 

"On that we agree," Carol said as she leaned in to capture the redhead's lips, "we should get going," she concluded and finally buttoned up her shirt as they walked to the exit.

 

In the car that was taking them to the meetings venue was Maria, stern look on her face and a lot of papers in her bag and on her lap. Carol and Natasha didn't dare to ask but they knew it was all Accords related, and maybe Maria wasn't even allowed to tell them about it. Instead, they had a small talk about how great their hotel was, the quality of the bed and the delicious breakfast they had.

 

The atmosphere instantly shifted when they stepped out of the car. Dozens of security guards were around the building with heavy weapons, at least ten vans were parked close to the entry to film the members of the UN panel arriving and hundreds of people were behind barriers, awaiting their arrival. When Carol and Natasha walked to the building, they heard people calling their names, but neither of them was sure if it was in a good or bad way.

 

Inside, a man led them and Maria to the room of their first meeting. About half of the panel was already there and the missing ones quickly joined. Natasha and Carol were seated apart from the panel members, who had the name of the country they were from in front of them. While a woman from Poland made a speech to open the meeting, Natasha identify the King of Wakanda and the resemblance with his son was evident.

 

After the introduction speech, a man took the stand and then it was Maria's turn. Firstly, she thanked the United Nations for accepting to give the Avengers a seat at the panel and then proceeded to explain what her role between the panel and the Avengers would be, since they didn't get the time to discuss it after their negotiations. Finally, she called Carol to the stand so she could tell her true identity.

 

But first, Carol wanted to mention the Accords and her thoughts on them, "Before starting I want to thank the United Nation for having us here, I think it was important for the Avengers to be present to the ratifying, and even more to show that we are aware that our actions have consequences. I know that it didn't appeared like it to some people but the Avengers do care about civilians. It's our priority to avoid combat where there can be casualties, we've done our best and we should have showed our implication more in the past, instead of leaving after the fight."

 

Carol paused and looked at Natasha, "Today, all Avengers in New York have signed the Accords. We will be responding to the orders coming from this panel and are really proud of it. The United Nations have always fought to insure peace and it's what we want, peace and safety for all the population of the planet."

 

Again, Carol paused in her speech and this time she shared a gaze with Maria who nodded to encourage her, "Natasha Romanoff and I have yet to sign the Accords, we will do it later today but before that I have to be truthful with who I am. Unlike what official statements say, I am not from another planet, I was born on Earth. I grew up in Massachusetts, became an air force pilot and, during a mission, I got to fly a plane empowered by something from outer space. Crazy details aside, this mission ended in a crash, the engine of the plane exploded and all the energy contained in it entered my body… That's where my powers are from."

 

A few people gasped, some shared some words, but Carol continued, "Now, for the Kree part, I was abducted by them, I was um… brainwashed into thinking I was one of them until I came back to Earth for a mission and met Nick Fury. Together, we fought the Kree and after that, he erased every data about me to hide my existence and protect Earth, because power invites challenge, a being as powerful as me defending the planet tempts other planets to come and defy us. After that, I flew around the galaxies, helped around until Nick called me back, and the rest you are aware of it. I am saying this now because, with the Accords, I can't hide who I am to the panel, but for the safety of the people close to me, my past has to stay hidden and I trust the panel to keep it that way… Thanks for listening to me."

 

Carol left the stand under the applause of the panel and went back to her seat where she found the comfort of Natasha. Another person talked after her but she didn't listen to them, she needed to clear her head and was focusing on the fingers that were running on the skin of her hand.

 

She had been nervous about revealing her identity to the panel. Maria had assured that it wouldn't be a problem but Carol couldn't stop thinking about the worst and now that the moment was behind her, she took some time to relax.

 

The meeting finally over, they all left the room to go eat lunch. Carol and Natasha waited until the room was empty to leave and they found Maria waiting for them outside. They ate together on another floor of the same building where the panel's members were all separated in small groups, went outside to get some fresh air and walked back inside to go to the official meeting.

 

It wasn't in the same room as the first, this one was brighter, with bigger windows, and there were cameras and journalists because the meeting was filmed. Maria, Carol and Natasha were sitting together this time – in that order – and were asked to sign different papers, Carol more than Natasha because of her earlier revelation.

 

While many people were talking to the blonde superhero, Natasha exchanged a few words with T'Challa. Carol wanted to join them and managed to sneak out of a boring conversation just in time to meet King T'Chaka.

 

"Please, allow me to apologise for what happened in Nigeria," Natasha was telling him as Carol stood beside her, her hand brushing the small of her back on the way, "And allow me to join Natasha in her apology," Carol added, "I really wish we could have avoided casualties."

 

King T'Chaka, looked at them both and nodded, "Thank you. Thank you for agreeing to all this. I'm glad to hear that all your colleagues signed today."

 

"So are we," Natasha replied and shared a glance with Carol.

 

"If everyone could please be seated. This assembly is now in session," A man said on speakers.

 

"That is the future calling," T'Challa told his father before turning to Natasha and Carol, "Such a pleasure," he said and shook their hands.

 

Back at their seats, Natasha watched King T'Chaka making his way to the stand while Carol was lost in her thoughts. She was still anxious about this whole things and all the papers she had to sign didn't help – although Maria said she had read them all and that she could sign them without worrying.

 

Her mind was so off that she wasn't listening to the beginning of the King of Wakanda's speech until Natasha's hand found her thigh.

 

"When stolen Wakandan vibranium was used to make a terrible weapon… we in Wakanda were forced to question our legacy. Those men and women killed in Nigeria were part of a goodwill mission from a country too long in the shadows. We will not, however, let misfortune drive us back.

We will fight to improve the world we wish to join. I am grateful to the Avengers for supporting this initiative. Wakanda is proud to extend its hand in peace."

 

"Everybody get down!" suddenly screamed T'Challa from the other side of the room.

 

Carol didn't get any time to think, one second she was on her chair, looking at T'Chaka, the next she was on the floor with Natasha holding her. The sound of the explosion was so loud that Carol couldn't hear for a minute and all the dust that filled the room prevented her to see. The only thing she knew what that Natasha was right beside her and that she was alive, she could feel the rise and fall of her chest.

 

The next information she got was that Maria was okay too, she grasped Carol's jacket to pull herself closer to them and was checking if they were fine. When Carol's hearing began to come back, she couldn't distinguish any sound or voice, it was all mixed up and echoed in her head. As the dust started to fade, she got to see Natasha again and reached for her face when she saw blood on it.

 

Natasha was looking at her with worried eyes and Carol didn't understand why until she noticed that Natasha was talking to her, her lips were moving but she couldn't understand her words. Soon, Maria was looking at her as well and exchanging words with the redhead, but Carol could still not hear them.

 

"What's going on?" she asked, probably louder than she thought she would. The words all bumped in her brain and hit her like Thor's hammer, causing her groan.

 

Natasha instantly tried to comfort her by stroking her hair while Maria left. Carol wanted to know why her girlfriend was so worried but after this first attempt at talking, she knew it was a bad idea and she still had struggles hearing.

 

Natasha was seeing that Carol was confused so didn't know what was going on so she tried to show her. Slowly, she took her right hand and guided it to her face. When she was close to her skin, she stopped and took her pointing finger that she led to her temple. At first, Carol was just feeling her skin, but then there was blood, and finally something that wasn't from her body. She shot a questioning look at Natasha who reached for a piece of glass on the floor and showed it to her.

 

At the same time, Maria came back with pliers and a cloth that seemed clean. She handed them to Natasha but she was too nervous to be the one taking the glass out of her girlfriend's skin so she moved away and let Maria do it. Carol only realised when Maria was done that her hearing was back to a point where she could understand what was going on around her and she heard Natasha's voice.

 

"Go check on other people, I've got her," she told Maria who nodded and left again.

 

"Babe," Carol muttered as she tried to sit but the change of position made her head spin, "hey, slow down, my love," Natasha whispered to her ear as she guided her back to the floor, "the cut is really deep, you need to stay down so I can keep pressure on it, okay?"

 

Carol hummed in agreement and cupped Natasha's face, "Are you all right?"

 

The redhead smiled, "My ears hurt but it will be fine eventually. Now, try to rest, we will be evacuated soon."

 

At that moment, Carol realised that she had no idea of what happened to all the people that were in the room. She suddenly worried about T'Challa who was very close to the windows that all burst, just like his father. She knew that she couldn't look around or she would feel dizzy again and she also knew Natasha would keep the bad informations to herself so Carol wouldn't feel guilty for not helping.

 

Not only did Carol feel guilty for not helping, but she also felt guilty for not reacting quicker. It all took her by surprised because she was anxious and couldn't focus, maybe if she had seen T'Challa's reaction, she could have used her energy shield to protect the people inside. She also felt stupid for being down when she was basically unkillable in her binary form, the glass would have turned to sand if she had reacted quicker.

 

As first responders were taking time to arrive to their floor, Natasha changed position so she and Carol were both more comfortable. She sat on the floor and slowly pulled Carol's head on her lap, it was easier for her to keep pressure on her wound that way and Carol was not resting her head on shredded glass anymore.

 

Knowing Carol's improved metabolism, Natasha quickly looked if her wound was already healing up. It wasn't bleeding anymore – which was a good sign – and from her first observations, Carol didn't show any sign of concussion.

 

Carol found it funny how Natasha worried about her when she knew very well that she had super strength and other powers that made her very hard to kill but at the same time she understood. She was like that when Natasha was away on a mission and she was staying at the compound, worrying about her girlfriend's safety even if she knew she was completely capable of handling these situations.

 

Carol couldn't tell how long it took the first responders to find the room they were all trapped in but they finally got there and tended to the most injured first. Natasha was observing all this mess, hoping nobody suffered fatal injuries, especially T'Challa and his father, who were very close to the window when the explosion happened.

 

When a firefighter passed by them, Natasha asked them to give her the adequate medical equipment to close Carol's wound. It wasn't the first time Natasha was doing stitches on Carol's face, she remembered very distinctly how she couldn't stop whining when she cleared and closed the cut she got on her forehead after getting hit by the grip of a gun during their first mission together at S.H.I.E.L.D. It felt so far in Natasha's life yet it happened only five years ago but so much had happened since.

 

Now that Carol's wound had been taken care of, she wanted to get up and help. Natasha, on the other hand, would rather that the super hero rest and get checked by a doctor, but of course she couldn't stop her when she stood up and rushed to the first injured person she saw. They helped the last people that were still on the floor or struggling to exit before looking for known faces.

 

If Natasha only found Maria in the mess that was the crowd outside, Carol saw someone else that she knew and had not seen in a very long time. She was about to tell the redhead when Maria joined them with a news they never thought they would hear.

 

"The explosion came from a van, apparently they already have identified a suspect," she said and paused to look at Carol, "the police said security cameras caught the Winter Soldier in a parking lot with the same van."

 

It suddenly felt like the world was ending in Carol's head. Here was her opportunity to find him, he couldn't be far if he was the one behind this attack. But something was wrong, why would he attack this meeting? Especially since most of HYDRA was down and the ones who were left weren't powerful enough to be able to capture him and brainwash him again. If he was free – partly – of that brainwashing, he had no reason to attack the United Nations.

 

It quickly became clear for Carol that she had to go after him as soon as possible and she had to be the one to find him first, otherwise he would get killed. Not paying attention at what Natasha and Maria were saying anymore, Carol looked for the person she saw a few minutes ago and, when she finally found them, she made her way to meet them.

 

"Carol, what are you doing?" Natasha asked as she grabbed her wrist to stop her.

 

"I have to go after him."

 

"And what will you do? You have to bring him to the authorities, there is no saving him after this."

 

Carol shrugged, "I don't know yet, but if it has to be me or some military guy, I rather be the one arresting him," she said and tried to take a step back but Natasha pulled her to the side.

 

"Ross will consider that you are breaking the Accords," she warned with a worried tone, "It's too risky, please don't go."

 

"The Accords aren't signed yet, I have to do this, I can't let someone else get killed. Please, just trust me, I know someone who can help."

 

"Then I'm coming with you," Natasha replied firmly as she stood in front of her, Carol now stuck between a fire truck and her girlfriend, "If you are going after Barnes I'm coming with you to help."

 

"No! No way, I don't want you involved in this. If it goes wrong only I can be responsible, please trust me."

 

Natasha wanted to protest, but at the same time she knew that she would do the same if the roles were reversed. After a slight shake of head, Natasha moved away to let Carol go, "Please, be careful. I can't lose you," she said softly and reached for her injured forehead.

 

"I will be. I love you," Carol replied and gave her a kiss before leaving.

 

"Love you, too," Natasha muttered, even if Carol was already far gone.

 

She watched the love of her life disappearing in the crowd and couldn't stop thinking of ways she could spare her from all the problem that whould come with her going after Barnes without orders. As much as Natasha thought Carol was an idiot for going on her own like this, she wasn't wrong on another point, only one person could take the blame and it shouldn't be her.

 

Natasha suddenly got an idea, one that Carol would definitely hate and disagree with but she wouldn't be aware of it until she'd have to, "For God's sake, Carol Danvers, what would I not do for you…"

 


 

Carol hoped she could catch up her acquaintance even though they were a dozen meters ahead of her and walking into a secured area. She pushed a few people and sneaked her way in the crowd to get to them just in time.

 

"I think you owe me a favour from back in the time we both worked in Washington and I also think it's time for you to repay it, Agent Carter."

 


 

"Mason?"

 

"Natasha Romanoff, I haven't heard of you in a while."

 

"Well, I guess the fact that I didn't need you is a positive thing, don't you think?"

 

"Or the fact that you need me now is a bad thing."

 

"I'm just being far-sighted."

 

"Right… what do you need?"

Chapter 57: Hope

Chapter Text

He has an apartment in Bucharest. He has a very strict routine during the week, except on Wednesdays.

 

That's what Sharon Carter could tell Carol, a few hours after the explosion when they met in an hotel room. Of course, she had the address of the apartment, the detail of the routine and even got Carol a plane ticket that would take her to Bucharest during the night. The meeting didn't last longer than ten minutes. Sharon showed her a plan of the block James Barnes lived, told her some specifics about the city – that Carol never visited – and left after she gave her her plane ticket.

 

Carol had to use public transports to go to the airport and, even if it was late, there were many people in the train. As Captain Marvel, Carol's face was known by a lot of people which was bad for stealth. In the airport, she stopped in a store and bought clothes that would help her fit in and that were more comfortable than a suit. She also got herself a charger for her phone, sunglasses and a cap to hide her face as much as possible.

 

When she was done shopping, she still had to wait two hours before boarding in the plane. She went to a fast foot and got something to eat, even if she was not hungry at all because she was nervous. She forced herself to eat because she knew the next day would be unpredictable, she might not have the possibility to eat.

 

While eating, she scrolled through social media to get the latest infos on the attack. Twelve people were reported dead, two mine-cleaning experts, five United Nations soldiers, four journalists and King T'Chaka. Carol gasped, she never thought anyone from inside the building would die, but Wakanda's king was very close to the windows, the blast plus the shreds of glass were enough to take his life. She felt very sorry for T'Challa, she only recently met the man but he was genuinely good and she could tell he cared deeply about his father.

 

A part of her suddenly wanted to call Natasha to let her know where she was, what was her plan but the other part of her knew it would be risky. A lot of thought began to pop in Carol's head, what would she become if Ross decided that her intervention to arrest Barnes was in violation of the Accords? Would she ever be an Avenger again?

 

She was starting to overthink but she quickly got pulled out of her thoughts when she heard that she could board inside her plane. After almost two hours in the plane, Carol landed in Bucharest and immediately left the airport with the little stuff she had in the backpack she bought in Vienna.

 

It was ten minutes past midnight, Carol had nothing else to do then finding a hotel in the area to get some sleep before going after James Barnes but she had another idea. She wanted to get closer to where he was living, if possible get a hotel room that had a view on his building but it meant crossing the entire city, mostly on foot because public transport at that time were rare.

 

Even if she should rest, Carol decided on the latter and took the last metro available to get closer to the location she wanted to reach. She walked for fifteen minutes after leaving the metro to get in the neighbourhood Barnes was living in and it took her twenty more minutes to find a hotel that would give her a view on his building.

 

Carol got very lucky, the only remaining room in the hotel was on the top floor and it had a perfect view on Barnes' apartment – that was on the highest floor. When she got in her room, Carol went straight to the window and tried to see something inside the apartment. Even without binoculars, she could tell that Barnes put paper on his windows so nobody could spy on him – a smart reflex, she noted – therefore Carol had no way to get informations.

 

Maybe it was for the best. After such an eventful day, a head injury that had not been checked by a doctor, Carol needed to rest to be a hundred percent focus to go get Barnes. Since she knew his routine thanks to Sharon Carter, Carol set her alarm at seven o'clock. Barnes was leaving about half an hour after that to go to the market and was coming back an hour later. While I would be gone, Carol would break into his place and would try to talk to him when he would come back, hoping he'd remember her from Washington.

 

With all that plan in her mind, Carol went to bed and struggled to fall asleep until the image of Natasha and her smiled lulled her.

 

What woke her up five hours after she fell asleep wasn't her alarm but her phone ringing. After rubbing the sleep off her eyes, Carol took her phone and slightly pouted in disappointment when she saw Sam's name, she was hoping it was Natasha calling her.

 

"Hey Sam."

 

"Carol, I'm in Berlin with Tony and Natasha, we flew there the moment we heard about the attack."

 

Carol didn't know where he was getting at but she encouraged him to continue, "Okay, why Berlin?"

 

"That's where the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre is and they are planning to capture Barnes, today."

 

Carol suddenly sat up, "Today? When?"

 

"Very soon. From what I've seen, they should be there in less than two hours and they are not thrilled by the idea of taking him alive."

 

"Shit, I was hoping I would have a bigger window," Carol muttered as she went to the bathroom and started getting ready.

 

"You're already there, right?" Sam asked and Carol hummed to say yes, "Well, then you have to act asap. I wish I could join you but I'm being watched."

 

"Do you even have your suit?"

 

Sam scoffed, "I don't go anywhere without it, anymore. It's in the jet but I doubt I can sneak on Natasha right now."

 

"She must be at her highest level of alertness, don't even try."

 

"Yeah, I'm not taking the risk to get my ass kicked by your girl. So, what's your plan?"

 

"Barnes should be out of his place right now so I'm gonna go in, wait for him to come back and try to talk him down."

 

"You think he'll listen to you?"

 

"I'm hoping he will. If he is back to being himself, he has no reason to fight me."

 

"I hope you're right," Sam said and suddenly stopped, Carol could hear through the phone that someone was talking to him, "I gotta go, good luck, Cap."

 

Carol didn't even get the chance to say goodbye, Sam had already hung up the call. She was already running out of time, she didn't think actions would have been taken so quickly against Barnes.

 

In a hurry, Carol grabbed the little belongings she had, tossed them in her backpack and made her way to Barnes' building. At a fast pace, Carol went to the building and waited for someone to exit it to enter. Luckily for her, it quickly happened. An old man got out and Carol pretended that she was just arriving, she helped him with the door and stepped in.

 

Thanks to the details Sharon gave her, Carol knew exactly where she had to go and took the staircase on her right. Then, she just had to climb to the last floor and Barnes' apartment was the one on the left.

 

As she picked the lock, Carol tried to imagine what she would find in this apartment but what was there surprised her anyway. The state of the walls and the floor weren't unexpected considering that the building was getting old and had not been renovated but it was James Barnes' belongings that she didn't see coming.

 

She would have thought that, now that he was free, Barnes would have gotten some stuff for himself, not necessarily a lot of things but there was nothing else than the essential. He didn't even get furniture, he built a shelf with planks of wood and concrete blocks, the couch and bed he had were most likely already there when he got it just like the plates, the fridge and glasses in the kitchen. The most shocking thing to Carol was that he didn't have bed sheets, he was spending his nights in a sleeping bag.

 

Overall, it looked like Barnes was squatting in the place – which was possible – more than living in it. In other words, he was surviving, he was probably not talking to anybody, avoiding any contact to not be found, because he knew what he had done and what it meant if he got captured by the police.

 

Waiting for Barnes to return, Carol went through a notebook that was on his fridge. It had a picture of Steve Rogers in it and notes about who he was. Considering how crossing out most of the pages and words were, Carol could concluded that Barnes tried to remember things about his life before HYDRA – thanks to what he found on Rogers – and he got frustrated when it didn't come back to him.

 

Too focus on reading the notebook, Carol didn't hear that James Barnes was back – earlier than she expected – and standing behind her.

 

"Who are you?" he asked, wary.

 

"I mean no harm, James," Carol replied as she turned around with her hands up, "Do you recognise me?"

 

"I've seen you on the news and we fought two years ago."

 

"Yes, that's me," the blonde confirmed and lowered her hands, "I'm Carol and I'm here because of what happened in Vien-"

 

"I wasn't in Vienna, I don't do that anymore."

 

Carol had doubts about his implication in the bombing, especially now that she had met him and saw that he was back to being James Barnes. But even if he said it wasn't him, the rest of the world would believe the images showed by the media, that must have been fabricated to frame him, "I believe you," she said so he would more easily trust her, "I don't think you did it but the people that are coming for you do. You have to surrender to me or they'll come and kill you."

 

"They are already there," Bucky said and, at the same time, Carol heard footsteps outside of the apartment.

 

"Please, don't make the situation worse for yourself. You don't have to fight."

 

"It always end in a fight," Barnes muttered and took his glove off, revealing his metal hand.

 

"I can help you," Carol assured as she took a step forward, "you just have to let me."

 

Bucky gritted his teeth, "It's too late for me."

 

Before Carol could convince him otherwise, a first soldier sent a stun grenade through the window that Carol threw straight back at them. Another one landed at Barnes' feet and he pushed it towards Carol with his foot, knowing she could handle it. Her reflex was to put both her hands on it as she turned binary to absorb the energy of the blast and it worked perfectly. A last one was sent and Bucky used his mattress as protection.

 

While two men entered by the windows, others were outside with a battering ram to knock down the door. To prevent that, Barnes threw a table across the apartment and it got stuck in the hallway, blocking the soldiers even with the ram. Carol fought one of the men, Barnes the other, but when they were neutralized, more came in.

 

Barnes was using his metal arm to protect himself from the bullets they were shooting at them while Carol was safe in her binary form. When these men were down, Carol tried to stop Barnes but he took her by surprise and pushed her on the floor.

 

"Don't try to stop me," he told her before punching the ground, the wooden floor breaking under his strength. He took a backpack out of it and threw it by the window.

 

Carol was impressed to see how prepared he was. He knew very well that he could be found at any moment and, if so, he needed an escape plan. As much as the Captain wished she could let him go, she had to bring him to the authorities, it was the whole point of why she was putting herself in danger.

 

She followed him as he broke through his door and knocked out six men. On the floor was lying a man with a radio, giving informations to his team. Carol wanted to stop him from doing so, but she could not let them think she was teaming up with Barnes, she only wanted him to be captured alive.

 

Barnes was leaving a trail of soldiers behind him as he went down the stairs and Carol made sure they were all K.O. while she tried to catch up. She had to blast a soldier who was about to shoot at Barnes when he was fighting two other men, and when he was done with them, he knocked down the door of an apartment and ran inside.

 

Carol got inside just in time to see him jump by the window onto the roof where he threw his back pack. She hurried to follow him and discovered with wide eyes a person in a black suit, shaped like a feline, fighting with Barnes.

 

Carol was frozen as she watched them fighting, impressed by the skills of this unknown individual. Whoever they are, they must be really angry because they are definitely fighting to kill Barnes, not to capture him. Carol was starting to wonder if she could even accomplish her mission and turn Barnes to the authorities alive considering how many people were trying to end his life.

 

When a helicopter appeared and shot at Barnes and his mysterious opponent, Carol got her head out of her ass and ran in direction of the flying vehicle to protect them. The bullets that hit the person in the suit ricocheted on them, which Carol found strange. When she fired a photon blast at them, the suit absorbed it but they still got thrown onto the ground, which gave Barnes a window to run away.

 

The unknown super hero closely followed him while Carol blasted the helicopter to get a rid of it. When she got her eyes on her target again, he was on the street, running as fast as possible while the black-clothed person chased him. Carol didn't hesitated and jumped to join them, her eyes always on Barnes.

 

She was getting bored of this pursuit and these two very fast people. She knew her capacities and therefore that she could be faster than them if she flew, and that was what she decided to do when she saw Barnes jumping on a high-road. He was running faster than the cars – not so surprising since he got enhanced with a super-soldier serum – and Carol didn't want to run anymore.

 

After taking a few steps of momentum, Carol turned binary and zigzagged between the vehicles. When she outdistanced the person in the black suit, they jumped on her and used their claws to grip her clothes. Carol tried to get a rid of them but they weren't moving a bit, so instead she accelerated to catch up with Barnes.

 

At the end of a tunnel, she was almost at his level and, as she got closer, he caught a motorcycle – while it was running – and climbed on it. Before he could go anywhere with it, the person in black jumped off Carol's back and shredded the back tyre with their claws.

 

Barnes fell on the road, as well as his opponent, and before they could try to go anywhere, Carol arrived and rose her sparkling fist to their heads.

 

"It's over now," she told them as they got up.

 

They didn't seem to want to fight anymore, or maybe they just heard all the sirens coming their way and knew they had no way to escape.

 

With all these police vehicle arrived Rhodey in his War Machine suit, "You're right Captain, it's over," he said and with all the weapons he had in his suit, aimed at the three of them.

 

Carol was not surprised, she didn't even protest, she knew that what she did was wrong and lowered her fist. Many armed soldiers were walking towards them and about to arrest them, exactly what Natasha feared would happen but Carol didn't regret it, if she had not gone after Barnes, he would be a dead man.

 

The first person that was immobilised was Barnes of course, he was pushed on his knees by one man while another was holding his arms in his back. Then, one person handcuffed Carol, which she thought was funny because she could just melt the thing with her power and get away. Rhodey knew it too and chuckled, his voice distorted by his suit.

 

When it came to the person in black to be arrested, they took off their helmet and both Carol and Rhodey gasped when they saw their face.

 

"T'Challa!" Carol exclaimed as her jaw dropped.

 

"Your Highness," Rhodey deadpanned.

 

In one hand, it all made sense. T'Challa believed Barnes was responsible for his father's death and wanted vengeance but, in the other hand, Carol couldn't figure out how he got to Bucharest so fast since Wakanda had limited resources.

 

She got time to think about that while the three of them were brought to the airport and put in a military plane to join Sam, Tony and Natasha at the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre in Berlin. Barnes had six people around him, guns up, ready to shoot, while T'Challa and Carol were just handcuffed at their seats.

 

A few minutes before landing, Rhodey – back in a casual outfit – sat beside Carol, "You know what you did was stupid, right?" he asked and looked at her.

 

"Barnes would be dead if it wasn't for me," she replied and could tell by Rhodey's features that it was not what he wanted to hear.

 

"Listen, I know that you want to 'save Barnes' or something, but going against the thing you just agreed on is not the best way to do it."

 

Carol chuckled, "So I take Tony told you about it."

 

"He did, after I questioned him for hours until he told me the truth. He changed since you told him about his parents' death, it triggered something in him that isn't good for what we do. I'm not blaming you because I believe telling him was the right thing to do but now we have to deal with a different Tony, we have to relearn how he works."

 

Before Carol could say anything else, a soldier came to Rhodey and told him he wasn't allowed to talk to the prisoners. It was somehow funny for Carol to be called a prisoner because she knew she would quickly be free, even after she went against the Accords.

 

Shortly after that, the plane landed at the three "prisoners" were escorted to a transport vehicle. Carol and T'Challa were led to a normal police van while Barnes and his six bodyguards went to a bulletproof truck.

 

In the car, Carol wanted to ask many questions to T'Challa – although she had most of the answers – but she only managed to let one slip out of her mouth, "How did your suit absorb my photon blast?"

 

"The Black Panther has been the protector of Wakanda for generations. A mantle, passed from warrior to warrior. And now, because your friend murdered my father I also wear the mantle of king. So, I ask you… as both warrior and king, how long do you think you can keep your friend safe from me?"

 

It wasn't exactly the answer Carol expected but it still gave her crucial informations. T'Challa had no interest in bringing Barnes to justice – just like she thought – and he wouldn't stop tracking him, which would make her mission to save him very difficult, even more than it already was.

 

"Barnes is not my friend," she eventually told the new King of Wakanda, "he is a man who got used by bad people and I believe he deserves his chance at redemption, like everybody."

 

"Would you give redemption to this man if he killed Ms. Romanoff?" T'Challa asked.

 

Carol noted that, despite their effort to be discreet, T'Challa still noticed how close Natasha and Carol were and he probably guessed that they were dating. The answer to his question was evidently no, she wouldn't, but deep inside her she wished she would. Her silence was enough of an answer, and even if she had wanted to say something, she wouldn't have been able to because they had reached their destination.

 

Carol and T'Challa are finally uncuffed and welcomed by agent Carter, a man that Carol didn't know and three armed soldiers. With a quick glance behind her, Carol saw Barnes in a kind of containment cell or rather a cage they were sure he wouldn't be able to escape from. The fact that they didn't put her in this cell could mean two things, they either underestimated her powers and strength or they couldn't put her in this because she would be free at the end of the day.

 

The second option seemed more plausible and it gave her a lot of confidence, maybe she didn't fuck up her reputation as a superhero with this move after all. Without a word, she followed Sharon Carter and the man who introduced himself as Everett Ross, Deputy Task Force Commender.

 

Carol noticed that he shared a surname with her dear friend Secretary Ross. Whether they were related or not, it seemed he would join him in the list of the people she despised the most in this world – along with Yon-Rogg, the entire Kree civilisation and the man who took Natasha to the Red Room – because he treated her as a criminal and wouldn't stop talking, which annoyed her a lot.

 

Ross, Agent Carter and the three soldiers led Carol to an office, office they were smoothly invited to not leave. Halfway through at long corridor, Sam and Natasha were waiting for Carol, the flying superhero smirking while the red haired woman had her arms crossed and her not-happy face on. They walked on each side of Carol, Natasha on her left and Sam on her right, without saying a word. It still felt like something was happening, as if by this gesture they were pledging allegiance to her.

 

In this office was Tony, on the phone with someone. Carol knew they would have to have a chat together so she stopped, and so did Natasha and Sam.

 

T'Challa was still following Deputy Ross to a more private area of the office but Carol wanted to talk to him so she caught up with them, "T'Challa, please," she said and waited for him to turn around.

 

The whole group did and, after he looked back and nodded at them, they left the two of them alone.

 

"I'm not sure you still value my words anymore but I still wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about your father. He seemed to be a great man."

 

By reflex, Carol extended her hand, although she didn't think T'Challa would take it. When he did, Carol looked down and then smiled at him, "Thank you, Ms. Danvers," he simply replied and walked away.

 

It wasn't necessarily a sign of peace or a promise that he wouldn't try to kill Barnes again but it could be an opening for future collaborations, or at least Carol hoped.

 

She went back to Sam and Natasha at the same time as Tony, "Ross wants you persecuted," he told her nonchalantly.

 

"Of course he does," Carol instantly retorted with a cocky tone, "the guy didn't see any problem in not giving trials to enhanced individuals so why would he not put his best asset in jail?"

 

Before Tony could reply, Natasha grabbed Carol by the biceps and pulled her away from the group, "Can you shut it, you are making it worse for yourself."

 

"I'm well aware, Natasha but it seems that I'm the only one caring about the truth right now."

 

"The truth doesn't matter to me at the moment. What's important is that you are still savable to the government's eyes but you'll soon be out of possibilities."

 

"I knew the risks I was taking."

 

"I really think you didn't."

 

"Can I borrow your girl for a minute?" Tony interrupted, just in time to prevent an argument between Natasha and Carol.

 

The redhead looked at him and nodded before stepping away, obviously needing some time alone. Carol followed Tony to the centre of the giant operation room and sat on the first chair she saw.

 

"Trouble in paradise?" Tony asked as he looked at Natasha, who was watching the horizon from the corridor/bridge.

 

Carol scoffed, "You know, girlfriends, they worry a lot. Natasha thinks I will soon not be "savable" anymore to Ross' eyes."

 

"I mean she's kinda right. Your move was shit, from the outside it looks like you are teaming up with Barnes. Now, even if I know it's not exactly it, I get why many people think that."

 

"What if we bring them the truth?" Carol wondered.

 

"What truth?"

 

"Barnes told me he didn't do it and I believe him. I think someone found him and framed him so he would get killed."

 

Tony smirked, "And who would that be, huh?"

 

"I don't know. You have connections, ask your girl or something."

 

The smile on Tony's face suddenly disappeared, "Pepper doesn't have that kind of connections and she is not really answering my calls right now."

 

Carol frowned, "What do you mean she isn't answering your calls?"

 

"We are… kinda… we are taking a break. It's nobody's fault."

 

"And you were the one talking about trouble in paradise," Carol joked and received a you-didn't-just-say-that look from Tony, but he also seemed amused, "I'm sorry to hear that, Tony."

 

"In her defence, I'm a handful," Tony said as he stood up and put the jacket of his suit back on, "I mean, you probably know that too by now."

 

"Yup," Carol replied with a smile, "It's kinda the second time we talk in like what… nine months."

 

"Yeah… took me that much time to swallow the pill. I didn't think that, when I'd be ready to talk to you about it, you would do as you said straight away."

 

"I saw the opportunity and I took it, as simple as that."

 

"I know Carol but Ross doesn't see it that way. We could have worked together to make this look legit, we still can… we have too… we need you Cap."

 

Carol sighed, she wished she had known that she could have had Tony's support if she had asked for it, "What do you propose?"

 

"We could say that Barnes has informations we need to take down what's left of HYDRA, I'm sure Ross would bite. Maybe it'd be enough to have you and Wanda reinstated and-"

 

"Wait, what did Wanda do in all this?" Carol asked as she frowned.

 

"Nothing, I just thought it'd be better to have her and her brother confined to the compound, you know, for protection."

 

"For who's protection, Tony?" Carol shouted, "Theirs? Uh-Huh. I know you, you never trusted her, you never even tried to get to know her and-"

 

"She is not a US citizen and they don't grant visas to weapons of mass destruction!" Tony shouted back.

 

"If she is a weapon of mass destruction then so am I."

 

"Of course you are," Tony yelled before they both turned mute.

 

That was it, the truth was out and Carol was almost glad it was. After all Tony and she went through together, she never would have thought he would think that of her, that she was just a weapon, that she had to be controlled, but considering how he treated Wanda, it was not surprising that he could think that of her.

 

After a minute, Carol broke the silence with a laugh, "So, let me get this straight. To you, Wanda and I are just weapons, things used to protect the planet. What about Thor, and Bruce? What about you in that damn suit, huh? Do you think you are better than all of us because you can step out of the superhero power suit when we have to live with it every second of our lives? Do you think we are just our powers, that the persons behind them don't matter?"

 

"I'm doing what has to be done to stave off something worse," Tony replied.

 

It was definitely not Carol was waiting to hear, "The only worse thing that could happen was if we were being controlled, like what HYDRA did to Barnes, we both remember how it ended. I'm done being considered a weapon, if that's how you or Ross or the UN sees me then I'm done."

 

"You can't just quit the Avengers."

 

"I'm not saying I am… but I will if nothing changes in your behaviour."

 

They could have kept on discussing but Carol had had enough for the day. Barnes' interrogation was soon, she wanted to hear what he had to say, hopefully it would bring the truth to what actually happened in Vienna.

Chapter 58: Affirmation

Notes:

Hi everybody, I just wanted to inform you that, from now on, I will post every two weeks, and it'll stay that way until I feel like I can go back to posting every week.
I wish I could keep this schedule but I'm really busy with work so I have very little time to write.
Some weeks however, I might post other works, most likely one shots that I haven't posted yet.

I hope you will enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Text

Barnes' interrogation was in a few minutes but Carol needed to calm down before witnessing it. This argument with Tony was short but intense and also really unexpected, Carol never thought he could think that of her.

 

The best way for Carol to relax was to be with Natasha but after their short – and heated – conversation earlier she wasn't sure the redhead wanted to see her. She still looked for her but it seemed that she had disappeared, she was not on the bridge anymore. Frustrated, Carol went to where Natasha was standing the last time she saw her and looked at the view. In other circumstances, Carol would love this view, she would enjoy it and it would be enough to calm her but this time she needed more, and luckily it came to her.

 

After a minute of standing there alone, a pair of gentle arms wrapped themselves around her waist and a very known perfume got in the air surrounding her.

 

"That was one hell of a fight, huh?"

 

Carol half smiled, "Of course you heard," she said and turned to see her girlfriend's face, "I wasn't ready for that."

 

"I know, my love. I think no one could have imagined this. I'm not even sure Tony himself knew he felt that way until he said it."

 

"Whether he does or not is not important. The fact that people might see us as weapons before humans is the problem."

 

"I think you should try to change your mind a little," Natasha whispered as she stroked Carol's cheek with her thumb, "we don't know what's next but whatever it is, we have to be focused. Don't let this disturb you, we'll deal with it later."

 

"How come you are so calm right now when you were mad at me fifteen minutes ago?" Carol asked.

 

"Let's say I had a few words with a very helpful person and they did a great job to make me see the bright side of things."

 

Carol rose an eyebrow, "Okay, that's not mysterious at all."

 

"You'll understand soon enough," Natasha replied with a smirk and kissed Carol's lips, "We should go back, the interrogation will start in a couple minutes."

 

With a nod, Carol agreed with her partner and kissed her one last time before following her to the observation room.

 

Officially, Carol wasn't allowed to be in the observation room to follow the interrogation but she could in the office she was when she and Tony thought. She shared one last glance with Natasha before joining Sam in the office while Natasha went to stand beside Tony. In the office, they could only see what was going on in Barnes' cell but couldn't hear anything, until Agent Carter stepped in and gave them access.

 

The person doing the interrogation was a psychiatrist, "I'm not here to judge you," he said, "I just want to ask you a few questions. Do you know where you are, James?" Barnes didn't reply so the doctor continued, "I can't help you if you don't talk to me, James."

 

"My name is Bucky."

 

Carol could already feel that this interrogation would not go where she wanted it to be. She wished she could do it herself but she had no privileges here, she was already lucky to not be in jail and to be able to listen to the interrogation thanks to Sharon.

 

"What is the Task Force expecting from this," she sighed out of frustration.

 

"Understand his motive," Sharon replied.

 

Carol chuckled, "He told me he didn't do it."

 

"And HYDRA believed they were doing what was right when they killed people," Sharon deadpanned.

 

"I think you don't understand how little sense this whole situation has. Why would Barnes attack the UN after doing his best to hide for two years after Washington?"

 

"Revenge," Sam guessed.

 

Carol shook her head, "You know as much about him as I do so you know he would never do that. Bombing a UN meeting is like declaring war against the whole world, which means the whole planet would be looking for him, it kinda makes it easier for someone to get to him."

 

"If what you are saying is right and that he was framed, why would someone get to him?"

 

"Power," Sam replied, "If they can control him like HYDRA used to, they can destroy institutions, countries even."

 

"And they would be undetectable."

 

"This theory is great but framing him doesn't guarantee they would get him. It guarantees that we would."

 

"So, basically we are saying that he was framed by someone of the Task Force."

 

"Or by someone sent by the UN to interrogate him," Carol said as she looked back at the screen.

 

If one person what close enough to get to Barnes, it was this psychiatrist. But as much of a great theory as this was, Carol couldn't prove anything and therefore do anything to stop this man with risking to be put in jail. She could only stand there a watch for the moment, and hope that nothing would happen.

 

Unfortunately, something did happen. The power was suddenly cut, turning the whole floor into the dark and cutting off the cameras that were showing Barnes' interrogations. It instantly became a mess around them, agents barking orders in every corner of the office, which gave Carol and Sam an opportunity to sneak out to get to Barnes.

 

"Where is he?" she asked Sharon.

 

"Sub-level five, east wing."

 

They were gone a second later and rushed into the first staircase. A lot was going on in Carol's head as she went down the stairs. It was very unlikely, but she hoped she and Sam could get there before this man could take control of Barnes and escape with him. If they could get there on time, there was no reason for Barnes to fight, he'd just have to let them take care of the "psychiatrist", expect if he was teaming up with him all along. That was a possibility that Carol didn't think about, Barnes purposefully getting arrested in order to infiltrate the Task Force.

 

Carol found herself overwhelmed by thoughts at the worst time, when they got to the east wing of the sub level five and found dozens of agents down on the ground, unconscious. The pulse of the man Carol checked was just fine but he seemed to have taken a very bad hit. As she observed her surroundings, Carol noticed that, on the other side of the room was Barnes' containment cage and it was open, he was gone. Sam and Carol both agreed that Barnes must be the one behind the injuries of these agents, considering his strength and metal arm, he could easily knock out people like them.

 

They were about go after him when they heard a man asking for help. Carol glanced in direction of the sound and ran towards it when she saw from who it was coming from, the psychiatrist.

 

"What did you do?" she asked him as she grabbed him by his collar and pushed him into the nearest wall, "Why are you here?" she yelled.

 

"To see an empire fall," he replied with confidence in his voice.

 

Just as she released him, Sam stepped into the room and got attacked by the Winter Soldier – it was evidently not Barnes in control anymore. It took them both by surprise, so much that Carol didn't get the time to react before he knocked Sam out by throwing him against his containment cell.

 

As hard as she wanted to check on Sam, Carol had to fight the Winter Soldier, she had to stop him. His first punch landed straight in her shoulder, causing Carol to lose her balance. He was fighting forward and she could only step back to dodge his incoming attacks, not focused enough to be as good as him.

 

When they reached the end of the room, Carol got stuck between the door of an elevator and the Winter Soldier, with no way to escape. With his metal arm, he tried to punch her but this time she prevented the strike to hit her. With both her hands, she pushed him away just for him to come back and kick her in the stomach with his foot. His blow was so powerful that it broke the door of the elevator and Carol fell down to the last level – hopefully there was only one under the sub level five.

 

When she hit the ground, Carol cursed herself for not using her powers during this fight. It used to be instinctive when she was flying around the universe, she would turn binary by reflex whenever she'd get into a fight, but since she got to Earth, she lost that habit. After a groan, Carol got up and used her flying capacity to get back to the floor she was a minute ago.

 

The Winter Soldier, Sam and the psychiatrist were all gone so Carol didn't lose a minute and went back to the higher floors, where Barnes could find a way to escape.

 


 

It had been ten minutes of mess, of where the hell is Barnes and get me visual on this room. Natasha was starting to get a headache from all the yelling and, clearly, waiting was not helping the Task Force to find Barnes. Of course, Natasha saw Carol and Sam leaving the second after the power was cut and she also knew that Sharon Carter told them where to go, she knew all along who was that she was the "someone" that could help Carol find Barnes.

 

"We have to do something," Natasha said and Tony turned around, "I am doing something, Nat. Or rather, FRIDAY is, we got the source of the outage."

 

"I was more thinking about going after the most wanted person of the planet, who's most likely far gone now."

 

Tony groaned, "Ugh, okay, lets go."

 

They walked fast as they followed a bunch of agents that seemed to know where they were going. As she struggled to walk at the same pace as Tony, Natasha cursed herself for this awful choice of outfit. Yes, she fought more than once in tight jeans and leather boots before but there was nothing better than her suit, it was made for this purpose.

 

Natasha wondered if she was the only one in this situation, since Tony didn't seem to be asking FRIDAY to bring him his suit from the quinjet, "Please tell me you brought a suit."

 

"Sure did," he instantly replied, "It's a lovely Tom Ford, three-piece, two-button. I'm an active-duty, non-combatant."

 

Wonderful , Natasha thought, they were both not in the best condition to fight a super soldier programmed to kill.

 

They weren't sure of where they were going anymore, the building turned into a hive of activity, people were running everywhere. Before they could call themselves lost, Sharon Carter showed up, "Follow me," she told them.

 

The three of them went up to the cafeteria, where the Winter Solider was fight half a dozen agents. After a few glances, Sharon left the two Avengers in order to surround Barnes and be more efficient to fight him.

 

Before going to her position, Natasha looked at Tony and asked, "What you said about Carol and Wanda, do you really believe it?"

 

The Iron Man was confused at first, but after a couple seconds of reflection he understood what she was talking about, "I don't. I used to but not anymore."

 

It was all Natasha needed to hear to fully trust him. She now knew that, when the time would come, she could ask him to follow her insanely risky plan to save Carol's image and James Barnes.

 

Natasha quickly joined Sharon on the other side of the cafeteria while Tony was taking his position. When they were all ready, she gave him the signal and he used the little Iron Man equipment he took with him – a watch that turned into a glove – to destabilise the Winter Soldier with a sound wave. It only confused his senses for a second so Tony used a flash and blinded him so he could approach.

 

Tony quickly got thrown away so Sharon and Natasha intervened. Sharon went first, hit him with a short sequence of punches before it was Natasha's turn. She gave him a kick in the stomach and a punch in the leg before it was Sharon's turn again to fight. Her first high kick was successful but not her attempt to climb on his shoulders to strangle him. He caught her in the middle of her movement and send her in a table that broke under her weight.

 

Natasha's try to get on his shoulders was a success, she made her special move and could hit his head with her elbows, but he was still stronger than her and got a rid of her by pushing her on a table. With his metal arm, he strangled her while she tried to get his hand away from her throat.

 

"You could at least recognise me," she panted, referring to the time he shot her to kill one of her assets.

 

It wasn't much but it disturbed him long enough for T'Challa to arrive and kick him away from Natasha. As they fought, she caught her breath and then went to help Sharon get back on her feet.

 

"That was a mean kick," she said as she offered her her hand.

 

Sharon chuckled, "Until he kicked my ass," she looked up where T'Challa and Barnes were fighting, "Should we go and help?" she asked.

 

"Actually, I think you can help me with something else," she told her and took a paper out of her pocket, "I need you to give this to Sam. Don't read it and just give it to him," she added and smirked, "you are not the only double agent in this story."

 

At this, Sharon smiled, "Okay. What are you gonna do?"

 

"Wait for Carol to get here to tell her what to do next."

 

After a nod, Sharon left the cafeteria. Seeing that T'Challa was still fighting Barnes, Natasha hid behind a pillar and observed them from afar. When the king of Wakanda pushed the Winter Soldier in the stairs and then on the ground, the redhead took note of where he escaped and then didn't say a word. She knew that, if T'Challa saw her, he would ask her for information and she couldn't lie to him.

 

Luckily for her, he went after the Winter Soldier – although he didn't take to right door – so she could chill out.

 

The cafeteria was now empty, the Winter Soldier passed by and he only left behind him broken tables and chair. The people who fought him and got injured were either instantly evacuated or went away like Tony did. Natasha thought about asking him if he was okay via their comms but she better not give him any sign form now on, he couldn't know what she was about to do.

 

As she waited, Natasha realised that she had no idea if Carol was okay, maybe she fought with the Winter Soldier before he got to this level, maybe she was hurt, or worst. She was quickly reassured as she saw the silhouette of her lover entering the cafeteria.

 

"Carol!"

 

"There you are!" Carol exclaimed and rushed to join her girlfriend, "Are you okay?" she asked as she hugged her.

 

"I'm alright," Natasha assured and stepped out of the hug, "Might have some bruises in the next days but that's okay."

 

"You fought him?"

 

"Yeah, he went that way," Natasha said and took Carol's hand to lead her to the door, "I think it goes to the rooftop, there must be helicopters up there and he might try to steal one."

 

"Shit, I have to go," Carol muttered and stepped away from Natasha.

 

"Carol wait!" the redhead shouted and caught her hand, "You have to knock him unconscious and take him to a hangar at the edge of town, south west from our position, close to the airport. Go there and find out what the guy that interrogated him wants."

 

"I don't know if I can," Carol mumbled as she looked down at her hands, "I'm not sure I control my strength anymore."

 

"Baby, I know who've doubted yourself a lot since what happened to Maria but you have to get your confidence back," Natasha told her as she cupped her cheek, "You are formidable, Carol, you have to remember that and save this man, okay?"

 

"Okay," Carol sighed and leaned into Natasha's touch.

 

"I believe in you, my love," Natasha whispered and kissed Carol's lips, "Now go, Sam will join you shortly."

 

"I love you."

 

Natasha smiled, "I love you too, so much."

 


 

Carol pressed another kiss on Natasha's lips before going after the Winter Soldier. She was still a bit confused about how Natasha found this place, this hangar, but she had to go with it because she had no other plan.

 

As she climbed the stairs, Carol hoped it wasn't too late. If Barnes was in the sky with a helicopter already, Task Force would shoot him down, there wouldn't be another way to stop him.

 

When she got on the rooftop, Barnes was indeed in a helicopter and already a couple meters up in the air. Carol had to stop him immediately or Task Force would. It all went really fast in Carol's head, she had to stop the helicopter and then get to Barnes so she blasted it and it crashed on the roof. As the blades slowed, Carol approached and tried to see if Barnes was still conscious inside because, even if the helicopter didn't fall from a big high, the fall was still brutal.

 

She quickly got a look of him, he was coughing because of the dust around him. Carol didn't think twice, it was her window to get him before the Task Force and she was not going to miss it. As she turned binary, Carol ran in his direction, jumped on him and flew them both to the hangar. Of course, the Winter Soldier tried to free himself but Carol was not going to let him go.

 

Natasha had told Carol to knock him down first but it was too late for that, they were already at the hangar. As they got closer, Carol thought of a way to do so that wouldn't involve her blasting him and she figured that making him fall for a high altitude could work, it did when they fought in Washington.

 

Considering Carol's speed, he didn't have to fall from very high to be knocked unconscious, ten meters would do the trick. Carol let go of his arms but he was still gripped at her shirt so she had to push him away. When she finally got rid of him, she was worried because he hit the ground very hard. She landed beside him, checked his pulse and sighed with relief when she felt his heartbeat.

 

Before taking a look at the surroundings, Carol pulled Barnes inside the hangar. In it, she found a baler that would be very useful to immobilise him in case he was still the Winter Soldier when he'd wake up. Carefully, she sat him beside the baler, put his metal arm on it and activated the machine until she was sure he was stuck.

 

Now that he was immobilised, Carol wanted to take a look of the perimeter, identify the potential ways the hangar could be attacked and the escape routes. Outside, in the city, helicopters were flying in circles to try and find Barnes and Carol, hopefully they didn't see where she went. Carol had to make it quick, she couldn't stay out of the hangar too long and take the risk to be seen by the Task Force.

 

As she walked around this hiding place, Carol wondered how Natasha knew about it and how she could anticipate that it would come in handy. It seemed that the redhead was very ready for this situation, more than Carol was yet she was the one who took the decision to go after Barnes in the first place. How could she be so prepared, and serene? Or at least she looked that way the last time they talked, but not so much when they fought a few hours before.

 

It all intrigued Carol but she had to stay focus for the moment, she could try to figure this out later, or she'd ask Natasha directly. For now, she had to keep an eye on Barnes, wait for him to wake up and question him. She thought she would have to do it alone, but an hour after she and Barnes got there, they were joined by Sam.

 

"Let me guess, Natasha told you where to find me?" she asked and gave him a warm hug.

 

Sam chuckled, "Actually… it was Sharon, but I think she got the info from Nat. She gave me this note and it looks a lot like your girl's handwriting."

 

Carol took the note that Sam was handing her, "That's definitely her handwriting," she confirmed, "I don't know how she found this place but we really needed it. If she hadn't told me to come here I think we would all be behind bars right now."

 

Sam smirked as he leaned on the wall next to him, "It's true that she's saved our asses a few times in the recent days."

 

"She shouldn't have had to…" Carol sighed, "When I left after the attack, I thought it would all be simple, I thought I could handle the situation but it got me in Task Force custody. Meanwhile she was making an actual plan and most likely put her ass in the line to save me, if she gets arrested at the end of all of this I don't think I'll be able to forgive myself."

 

"Knowing Natasha, she probably already has an escape plan."

 

Carol took her head in her hands, "She shouldn't need an escape plan. My rash decision put her in danger, I'm an idiot."

 

"Looks that way to me too," muttered Barnes from behind them.

 

Sam and Carol both glared at him and the former replied, "At least we are not the ones with our arms under a baler."

 

"But you are the ones who tried- multiple times- to save me… a man doomed to be killed."

 

"Is it really what you think of yourself?" Carol asked as she stepped forward, "You think you can't be saved?"

 

"If I could be saved you wouldn't have to go through that much shit just to get me out of this facility."

 

"Then why do you hide? If you can't be saved, why do you keep hiding instead of facing your destiny."

 

Barnes sighed, "I don't wanna be a weapon anymore… I don't want what happened earlier today to happen again."

 

Carol took another step forward and squatted down before him, "What exactly happened earlier? What did he tell you?"

 

"He wanted to know about Siberia… Where I was kept. He wanted to know exactly where."

 

"What's in Siberia?" Sam asked.

 

Barnes started into space as he replied, "Other Winter Soldiers."

 

Carol and Sam were both in shock, they never thought there could be more Winter Soldiers. It made sense in a way, the Winter soldier was credited for so many assassinations, it couldn't all be from Barnes. HYDRA needed substitutes when he was not operational or when he was already out on a mission, so recruiting more people was necessary.

 

"How many?" Carol eventually muttered, "How many are there?"

 

"Five. Highly trained, more than me… More kills than anyone in HYDRA history and that was before the serum."

 

"What do you mean?" Carol wondered as she freed Barnes from the baler.

 

"They were HYDRA's elite death squad, regular people until they got a super soldier serum. It wasn't like the one I got, it was stronger."

 

"They all turned out like you?" Sam asked.

 

"Worse," Barnes replied.

 

"So he could control them?"

 

"Enough."

 

Carol let out a sharp breath, "He said he wanted to see an empire fall."

 

"With these guys, he could do it. They speak thirty languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilise. They can take a whole country down in one night, you'd never see them coming."

 

"Wonderful," Carol exhaled and started pacing around the room with her arms crossed.

 

They could definitely not let that happen, nobody could find these Winter Soldiers and use them to take down nations. It was such a complex situation, now that Carol completely lost the trust of Secretary Ross and couldn't trust Tony either, she couldn't go to them to expose this, they wouldn't believe her. She couldn't ask for Natasha's help either, not when this men was already ahead of them, and she also didn't want to put her at more risks.

 

They all knew they had to act fast considering what was at stake, "So… what do we do now?" Sam asked, finally breaking the silence.

 

Carol turned around to face her two allies, "I have to stop him."

 

"No, we have to stop him," Barnes corrected, "There is no way I'm not coming. You can fly us both there and-"

 

"I can't do that."

 

Barnes frowned, "What? You can't fly? You did it like four hours ago. Do you need to recharge or something?"

 

"No," Carol replied firmly, "I can't fly there because Tony has my heat signature saved, I saw it when Natasha and I borrowed his lab for tests. As long as my heat signature isn't deleted from his servers he can track me when I'm using my powers. Meanwhile, all the quinjets aren't thanks to his lovely tech that even he or FRIDAY can't track."

 

"Well, we are not far away from the airport where the jet we took to come here is," Sam pointed out, "It shouldn't be too hard to steal it if we have some backup."

 

"We are not bringing anybody else into this. It will be the three of us against whoever is with Tony."

 

"Are you sure? Because Wanda and Pietro would come running if you asked for their help, and I also know a guy."

 

"This is exactly why I don't want anybody else involved. Wanda is already in deep shit because Tony consider her more like a weapon than a human being, if she is seen with us she will be thrown in jail, I can't risk that. And whoever your "guy" is, he shouldn't be facing these risks either, even you shouldn't."

 

"But I will because I believe this is the right thing to do."

 

"And I'm grateful for that."

 

"Okay, we got it," Barnes groaned, "you are friends. Now, can we go back to planning our next move."

 

"First we need to get the airport evacuated, no way we fight with innocent people around. Then, we will have get to the quinjet, that I suppose will be protected by Tony and Natasha."

 

Sam grimaced, "Why would Natasha help him after she helped us?"

 

"She is a double agent, she has to pretend to be with Tony otherwise she'll get arrested."

 

"Right, because you don't want your girl to be thrown in jail either…"

 

"As I said, if I could I would do this myself, but you two are insisting to help."

 

"You need to stop whining, bird guy," Barnes said as he glared at Sam, "We need to focus on stopping this man, details like these aren't important."

 

"He is right, Sam," Carol intervened before the two men could start arguing, or worst, "Whoever will be there tomorrow, we have to get to the jet as fast as possible… and if we could not hurt anybody, that would be great too," Carol added and looked at Barnes.

 

"That's fine by me," he told her.

 

"Same," Sam agreed.

 

Carol sighed in relief, "Now we rest… and tomorrow we get him."

Chapter 59: Acceptation

Chapter Text

Carol didn't really slept, she was too much anxious for that. Usually, Natasha was there to comfort her, to hug her against her chest when she had a lot on her mind or when a big mission was coming, she was more effective than any sleeping pill. But that night, Natasha was not there and Carol couldn't even contact her, she was alone. Natasha was probably not sleeping either, she must be wondering what was Carol's next move or what she would have to do to save her, again.

 

From what she could see in this old hangar, Sam and Barnes weren't sleeping a lot either, although Sam did snore for at least three hours. They all knew what was at stake and what it meant to go against the Accords and the direct orders of Secretary Ross. If Sam didn't seem to care – surely because he didn't fully know the risks he was taking – Barnes was aware of what it would mean for him if he got caught, death.

 

The sun was starting to show up when Barnes stood up from where he had been trying to sleep and joined Carol on the other side of the room.

 

"You didn't get that much rest… I hope it was enough for you to be at your best," he said and sat beside her.

 

Carol kept her gaze straight, "Don't worry about me, I'm fine… Plus I don't think we will fight that much."

 

"Why, because you don't want to punch your girlfriend?"

 

Carol rose her eyebrows at him, "And how do you know about that?"

 

Bucky chuckled, "The way he talked about her," he nodded at Sam, "it said it all. You care for her more than anyone else, and you are on opposite sides- sort of, that mustn't be easy."

 

"I'm just hoping that we won't have to fight because we will get there before them, or maybe we can try to reason with Tony."

 

"Honestly, I would be more than happy if we didn't have to fight," Barnes said as he got on his feet and offered his hand to Carol, "I'm done fighting for me life."

 

Carol looked at his hand – his human one – and then at him as she took it, "I get that. Hopefully after this you will find a place where nobody will bother you."

 

"Says the person who bothered me in the first place," Bucky replied with a smirk.

 

"Pretty sure I saved your life but okay."

 

"You did," Barnes confirmed, "I owe you one."

 

Carol was about to tell him that he didn't when Sam yawned. Instead, she shared one last smile with him and said, "We should get ready."

 

They didn't have much things to do to get ready, since they didn't have their gears, they could only stretch to be in the best shape possible to fight. Carol was still hoping they wouldn't have to, but deep down she knew it would happen, or at least it was one of her strategies to get to the Quinjet.

 

Determined, they walked in direction of the airport, not talking until the arrived to where their plan would begin, "Do we think they are already there?" Sam asked as he tried to look inside the airport, but there were too many people to find any known faces.

 

"If they haven't already figured out our plan, they will come running with that," Carol replied as she opened a box in which was a tablet.

 

"What's that?"

 

"Access to the servers," Sam told Barnes, "We studied the biggest airports of Europe when we were trying to find you, in case we'd need to… take control of the place."

 

"In other words, you looked for ways to stop me from escaping."

 

"Yes!" Carol exclaimed, but it was not to reply to Barnes, "and also yes," she added as she looked at him, "Even wanted, people can find ways to pass security and board into planes so we had to make sure we could ground all planes in case of emergency."

 

"Well, at least you found a purpose to these studies."

 

"We did. Now the alarm is set so Tony and the others should arrive shortly."

 

"How do we do this, now? Punch our way through?" Sam asked.

 

Carol grimaced, "Considering that you don't have your suit, I think it's better if I face them alone. Meanwhile you can sneak in the airport and look for the jet."

 

"Will that be enough to give us the time to get there? You against them."

 

"I plan to piss off Tony. He will be so outraged that he won't think about looking for the two of you, it should give you a head start."

 

"That's the shittiest plan I've been a part of," Bucky said as he observed their surroundings, "but I guess it'll have to do."

 

"I guess we are about to find out," Carol told them as she pointed at the sky, "I'm pretty sure that's Vision and Rhodey."

 

"He brought back up!" Sam exclaimed.

 

"Don't worry, I can deal with them."

 

"So now is the time for us to go separate ways," Barnes assumed, "When the airport will be empty we'll go in, so maybe you should go in a bit before that."

 

"Yeah, sounds like the best thing to do."

 

"Alright then, Cap," Sam said and stepped forward to hug Carol, "Good luck."

 

"You too," she replied and glanced at Bucky, "Both of you."

 

Barnes gave her a thanking nod before turning and stepping away, Sam closely following him.

 

Now that she was alone, Carol wanted to take some time to put herself in the right mindset to face Tony and his allies. She had to be the worst, to say everything she knew would make Tony angry, more than that even, he had to hate her. Maybe it was already the case, after their talk the day before Carol didn't know if they were still friends, but whether it was the case or not she had to make him despise her.

 

As she concentrated, meditated in a way, Carol kept an ear alert to be aware of when the airport would be close to fully empty. Her moment arrived quickly, when it came to security and evacuations, airports were always the fastest, this time it was almost done after twenty minutes. From what Carol could understand from the announces that were made, only the people who were in planes when she caused the evacuation were still inside.

 

It was time to show herself, to be the meanest person ever to Tony so that Bucky and Sam could steal the Quinjet. As she walked on the tarmac, Carol wondered if more people would be there. Tony, Rhodey and Vision were, she was certain of that, Natasha had to be there to pretend she was "on the right side of things", and maybe T'Challa joined them because he still believed Barnes was his father's killer.

 

The first people she saw were Tony and Rhodey, making an entrance as they landed with the characteristic sound of their suits hitting the ground.

 

"Wow, it's so weird how you run into people at the airport," Tony said to Rhodey, "Don't you think that's weird?"

 

"Definitely weird," his best friend replied.

 

"Always the worst timing to make jokes, huh?" Carol said with a teasing tone, her pissing-Tony-off mission beginning.

 

"Between the two of us, whose the joke? The one who signed the Accords just to go against them ten minutes later or the guy whose trying to save your ass?"

 

"You know, technically I didn't sign the Accords," Carol pointed out, "didn't get the time to because someone that isn't Barnes bombed the meeting I was attending."

 

Tony clenched his jaw, which told Carol that her strategy was working. He was about to reply when T'Challa – in his Black Panther suit – jumped in, "Carol," he greeted.

 

"T'Challa," she replied, "May I tell you what really happen or are just as indoctrinated by Ross as Tony is?"

 

"For goodness's sake," Tony groaned.

 

"Carol," the blonde heard from behind her. When she turned, she saw her girlfriend with genuine concern on her face, "Please, think about what you are about to do, the consequences that it'll have on you."

 

"I'm not doing this for myself," Carol replied as she stared at Tony, "unlike some people here, I'm thinking about what's better for the people and that is stopping this man from taking control of the other Winter Soldiers."

 

"What are you talking about?" T'Challa asked.

 

"The doctor who interrogated Barnes, he is behind the bombing and he is going to Siberia, where more Winter Soldiers are held."

 

Tony chuckled, "That is a great lie, but not enough to get me to trust you."

 

"Did you ever trust me?" Carol scoffed.

 

"Alright, I've run out of patience," Tony said and shouted, "Underoos!"

 

Before she could react, Carol was imprisoned in some sort of cobweb and couldn't move anymore. Beside Tony landed a person in a blue and red suit with a spider on it.

 

Carol laughed as she easily freed herself thanks to her powers, "That was a great trick but nothing that can stop me."

 

"Hi, Captain," said the person who just attacked her, "I'm a big fan, I'm Spider-Man."

 

"Spider-Man, huh? That's new. Didn't know we were recruiting, Tony."

 

"Needed all the forces I could get to stop you and your non sense."

 

"Right, because I'm a weapon of mass destruction. Funny that you didn't bring Wanda, after all she is a weapon as well, you could have watched us fight instead of doing it yourself… Oh wait! She wouldn't have been on your side because she can feel that you don't consider her like a human being."

 

"Can you stop behaving like you don't know what I mean. You guys are dangerous, it's a fact."

 

"So are you, so is Rhodey or everybody here. Even your new little friend is dangerous," Carol said and turned to this Spider-Man, "by the way, did he tell you that, since the Accords were signed, you can't act as a vigilante, it became illegal, even if you are fighting bad people. And you might also take the mask off because you can't keep your identity private as a superhero."

 

"Mister Stark, is that true?"

 

"You are annoying me, Danvers," Tony grumbled as put his helmet back on, "Vision, hit her!"

 

Suddenly, Vision flew out of nowhere fired their beam of energy from the stone in their head. Carol knew it wouldn't do her much harm, especially when she was in her binary form, so she didn't worry. Nobody could overpower her on Tony's side when she was binary, she had fought stronger beings then them and survived, but she feared that she might lose control because of her own anger and hurt them accidentally.

 

She couldn't risk that but she couldn't risk getting hurt either, she had to fight them for as long as possible so Sam and Bucky could find the Quinjet. It seemed that her idea worked, Tony was to busy trying to blast the shit out of her to look for her team mates of the day.

 

This fight was starting to feel like a casual sparring session, but she had more opponents, that were all very skilled. Carol quickly noticed that Natasha wasn't there anymore, she only threw a few punch at her and sneaked out. She probably figured out that Carol was stalling and that, while they were all fighting, Sam and Bucky were looking for the jet. It didn't matter, Carol knew Natasha wouldn't stop them, she just hoped that nobody else saw her absence.

 

Unfortunately, Natasha wasn't the only one who left, T'Challa quickly went after her. When Carol saw him going away, she knew she had to catch up with them otherwise he would find Barnes and kill him. She also wanted to keep Natasha safe, he couldn't realise that she was a double agent.

 

But Carol couldn't just walk away from the fight, she had to make a diversion, a very good one. She tried to think of something but the time was passing fast and all her ideas required time. Instead of creating a diversion, Carol figured that knocking out all the people around her could also work very well, it might even give them more time than needed.

 

It turned out to be quite an easy plan. Carol just had to pretend she was losing the fight, they would all gather around her to immobilise her, and then she would just have to "go boom" as Tony used to say.

 

It was simple to make them think she was beaten, she let Tony hit her with one of his blasts and stayed down when Spider-Man covered her with web. Soon, Tony, Rhodey and Vision where all standing around her with there weapons pointing at her. When Carol saw Spider-Man joining them, she knew it was her moment. With Natasha in her mind, she channelled the energy within her and suddenly released it.

 

The energy shield was strong, but not quite as strong as the ones she had done in the past to save Natasha. It was good to know that she could do it on purpose, the last times she did was more of a reflex.

 

The sound of the energy blast was so deafening that Carol didn't even hear her opponents' screams and groans of pain when it hit them. She remained on the ground for a few seconds after the blast and then suddenly rushed in direction of where she last saw T'Challa, not caring at all about her friends that she just stunned.

 

At first, she didn't see anybody and started to worry, maybe T'Challa already got them. She was quickly reassured when she found them all standing before the Quinjet, Natasha between T'Challa and Sam and Barnes with her arm rose, ready to shoot a Widow's bite at him. Carol ran as fast as she could and stopped in front of T'Challa.

 

"Stop! Please, let us explain," she said with her arms rose in sign of non-aggressiveness.

 

Slowly, T'Challa went from his fighting stance to a normal one and retracted his helmet, "What did you say earlier," he began as he looked at Carol, "about the other Winter Soldiers?"

 

"There are five Winter Soldiers in Siberia," Bucky told him before Carol could, "and this man, the doctor, he asked me about them. He has the book with my trigger words so he must know theirs, if he does he can control them and become all powerful."

 

"You trust what he says?" T'Challa asked Carol and Natasha.

 

"He has no reason to lie to us, nor did he have motive to bomb the UN meeting. We think that this doctor framed him so he could talk to Barnes and find these other Winter Soldiers."

 

"So this man killed my father."

 

"Yes."

 

TChalla released a sharp breath and glanced at the Quinjet, "Then I'm coming with you."

 

"You do that and Carol and I will try to reason with Tony," Natasha stated.

 

"Natasha, I have to go!"

 

"No!" The redhead said loudly and pulled Carol to the side, "Tony needs to trust you before you can go, so you are coming with me. We tell them what we just told T'Challa and he'll have to believe us."

 

"Okay," Carol sighed and gave Natasha's hand a squeeze before stepping towards Barnes and T'Challa, "Good luck, James."

 

"You too, Captain," he replied and entered the jet.

 

Then, Carol looked at T'Challa who nodded, "I am sure you will catch up quickly."

 

"I trust you with him."

 

"Don't worry, Carol, I only want the life of the person responsible for my father's death and I believe mister Barnes isn't this person."

 

"Go before he gets to them."

 

After another nod, T'Challa joined Bucky inside the Quinjet and closet the rear hatch. Carol, Natasha and Sam watched them leave and quickly saw that some people were about to go after them.

 

"Tony, wait!" Carol shouted as she ran towards the group.

 

Tony turned around and scoffed, "You have some nerves to show up after you blew up in our faces."

 

"I'm sorry. I needed to give them time to find the jet."

 

"And what are you gonna do with it, find a new hiding place for your new pal?"

 

"As I said earlier, there are five other Winter Soldiers that the doctor can control. If he does, he can take down countries within the night, destroy them, I know you don't want that to happen."

 

Tony shook his head in annoyance, "How am I supposed to believe you after everything you've done in the last few days?"

 

"T'Challa believed her," Natasha told him, "he went with Barnes to make sure he doesn't run away and to stop this man. If he can trust her, I'm sure you can, Tony."

 

"How come I always believe what you say?"

 

"Because you know me, and you know I wouldn't have done what I did just to save Carol. There is a bigger story behind all this, behind how it affects us. You need to let her go so she can help, and stay here to bring some sense to Ross."

 

"Speaking about Ross, he will want to charge you and everybody who teamed up with you."

 

"Put the blame on me," Carol told him firmly, "you can say that I did it all, that I forced Sam and T'Challa, whatever you want. Just, please, let me go."

 

"Alright…" Tony groaned, "Go."

 

"Thanks."

 

Carol barely acknowledged the other people around her, she just glanced back at Natasha, smile and flew at a high speed to catch up with the Quinjet.

 

They all watched her fly away until they couldn't see her anymore. Then, Sam went to Rhodey and Vision, made jokes as if they hadn't been on opposite sides of a conflict a few minutes ago.

 

It left Tony and Natasha alone, standing side by side and looking up at the German sky, "You know that Carol blew her credibility as a hero with what she did," Tony began, "she's gonna have to leave the team, at least for a while but you can still be an Avenger, you don't have to go down with her."

 

"I know, she rushed into things, made rash decisions and now she is in trouble. She is an idiot, but she is my idiot and I'll take on all the consequences with her because I believe her call was the right one."

 

Tony grimaced, "You are so in love it's disgusting."

 

"You are not objective either, you let your feelings affect your judgement. We should have been a team on this one, we should have helped Barnes but you rather see him die."

 

"Sounds fair to me."

 

"Then you should kill me and Carol," Natasha pointed out, "we did shits like that too when we were under control of bad people, when we were used."

 

"It's not the same," Tony retorted.

 

"It is exactly the same, Tony. The only difference is that we are your friends," Natasha said and patted his back, "Listen, I get that you are mad at her, but she did what she thought was good for someone who couldn't fight for himself, I think it's quite noble."

 

"Ross won't think the same."

 

"We know, we won't stay around anyway. Carol and I will have to hide for a while. You don't necessarily have to make a statement to say that we are not Avengers anymore but we will not intervene at all in any mission, until things get calmer. And by the way, when you talk to Ross about all this, put the blame on me, not Carol."

 

"Why would I do that?" Tony asked, confused.

 

"Because I'm asking you to. Because I have an escape plan for myself and she doesn't, so I have to be the fugitive. She is more important than me when it comes to saving the world, she has to be able to help if you guys ever need her to."

 

 

Tony remained silent for a moment too long for Natasha's patience. He was making her wait on purpose, just to let her understand that he was disagreeing with her but that he would still do as she asked because she was his friend. After a minute, Natasha grumbled and shoved his armoured shoulder.

 

"Alright! Okay, you are the bad guy!" he finally exclaimed, "But I can count on you to get your asses back here if you are needed?"

 

"As I said, you can ask Carol whenever and, if you really want us both, you know I will join, always."

 

"So, I'm not seeing you in a while, huh?" he asked, more seriously this time.

 

"Nope."

 

"You'll be okay though, right? On the run, you have done that before."

 

"Yup," Natasha replied, popping the "P"

 

"Alright then, be careful out there, Nat," Tony said and pulled Natasha in a hug.

 

It wasn't a very enjoyable hug, Natasha was mostly holding a metal suit then her friend but she still appreciated the gesture, "You too, Tony," she eventually whispered and stepped away.

 


 

When Carol was at a close distance to the flying Quinjet, the rear hatch opened.

 

"I thought it would have taken you longer than that to convince him," Barnes said loudly as the hatch closed.

 

"I would still be down there without Natasha's help."

 

"This woman is really easy to trust," T'Challa noted as he piloted the jet, "and she breaks this same trust very easily."

 

After fixing her hair, Carol joined him, "If you feel like you could trust her it means she trusts you and she will make it up to you."

 

"That is good to know," he replied and turned mute.

 

In this silence, Carol observed T'Challa piloting and noticed that he didn't need her help at all. The coordinates that Barnes gave him were already set and he was working on putting on the autopilot.

 

The flight was going to be a few hours long, almost six hours to reach Siberia and this old HYDRA bunker that Barnes described. They had no idea of what they would find, maybe the man would be waiting for them with the Winter Soldiers under his control, maybe they would already be gone, but whatever the situation, they had to be ready.

 

They made a plan, T'Challa would stay in the jet and analyse the surroundings of the bunker with the scanner while Carol and Barnes would go in. If needed, they could ask T'Challa's help but Carol was confident that she could beat five Winter Soldiers easily with her powers.

 

Before she could forget, Carol sent a video message to Pietro at the compound. She needed him to erase every recording of her heat signature off the compound's servers so she could fight without being located. Pietro had good computer skills, he wasn't the best but it would be enough for this mission.

 

A couple hours before landing, they received a call from Tony. He had just been aware of the death of the real doctor who was supposed to interrogate Barnes and knew the identity of the man who took his place, Helmut Zemo. He confirmed that this man framed Barnes and that higher authorities would be made aware of it, but someone in the team would still be persecuted.

 

Carol expected to hear her name and was more than in shock when Tony said Natasha's. She wanted to fly out of the jet, to go back to Berlin and bring some sense into Natasha. This was everything Carol didn't want, to put Natasha in a situation where she had to be the fugitive and now she was. Tony told Carol that there was no point arguing with Ross, he was satisfied with the story he got and wouldn't change his mind but Carol couldn't accept it. It was all her doing and Natasha took the blame to protect her, she shouldn't be the one in danger. Tony tried to reassure her, he told her that Natasha was already ahead, that she was gone and had a plan to be safe.

 

It would never be enough to comfort Carol, she would worry for as long as she had no news of her girlfriend but, for now, she had to focus on their oncoming fight. When Tony ended the call, Carol allowed herself a moment to breathe and relax. T'Challa and Barnes give her the time she needed and she was ready just in time to land the jet.

 

A first study of the surrounding told them that a vehicle was parked beside the entrance of the bunker but no one was outside. The door was open and the scanner of the jet could detect at least one heat signature that matched a human.

 

Without a word, Carol and Barnes walked out of the jet and entered the bunker. Carol walked in first, found an elevator and called her team mate of the day. He nodded to tell her they were on the right path, his knowledge of the place still very useful to find their way inside.

 

As they progressed in the bunker, they were keen to inspect every corner of it, looking for anything suspicious, a bomb or anything that could trap them inside. They eventually reached the last room, where the Winter Soldiers were put in cryo.

 

When they set foot inside, the lights turned on on the cradles where the Soldiers where and the duo discovered with surprise that they had all been killed with a single bullet in their heads. This was not what they expected, it was even the opposite of it, they thought this Zemo wanted to take control of them.

 

They started wondering what was his actual goal and they were going to hear it because he was there, behind a bullet-proof door, "If it's any comfort, they died in their sleep… Did you really think I wanted more of you? I despise everything about you, the Avengers, superheroes… they are a cancer to our lives."

 

"You lost someone, didn't you?" Carol asked as she approached him, "Otherwise why would you go through all of this just to get to us?"

 

"I lost everyone."

 

"Sokovia…" Carol muttered as she remembered what Tony told them, "your family, we couldn't save them."

 

"You and your friends made the thing that killed them. You made me lose everything and now…" he paused and looked down, "your loved ones will lose you."

 

Before any of them could react, Carol and Barnes are under the debris of the bunker that just exploded. The only thing Carol got to do was to jump onto Barnes to protect him, like she did New Jersey when HYDRA destroyed S.H.I.E.L.D's bunker on hers and Natasha's faces.

 

But unlike it did back in 2014, the whole bunker didn't fall apart this time. Only the room they were in exploded and it seemed that the bullet-proof walls that surrounded it prevented the whole thing from collapsing on them. When she was sure nothing was threatening to fall, Carol blasted the rock above her and got out of the ruins.

 

Barnes followed her and then went to a lever that somehow was still intact, "What's that?" Carol asked him and he pulled it, "Our way out," he said and looked up.

 

A large trap opened and revealed the light of the sun. At first blinded, Carol rubbed her eyes and started to glow as she joined Barnes, "Want a ride?" she asked with a smirk and wrapped her arm around his waist before taking off.

 

To their biggest surprise, they saw T'Challa with Zemo at his feet when they landed beside the Quinjet, "He said he wanted to tear the Avengers apart, but when it became evident that only one of you would fall, he decided to try and kill you."

 

Carol sighed, "Well… glad I have an amazing girlfriend."

 

"I shall bring him to the right people, then I'm expecting you in Wakanda."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes. We talked with Mister Barnes and I think we can help him being free."

 

"Okay then, I will see you soon."

 

Carol and James Barnes left T'Challa on the cold snow of Siberia and went in the jet. Before going to Wakanda, Carol had to go to the compound and get some of hers and Natasha's stuff, as well as their cat. It was a risky move but she couldn't imagine leaving Liho for an indeterminate time there and she also wanted to get her old suit, that had no tracer.

 

Going back to New York took them the whole night, it was nine in the morning when they finally reached their destination. Carol was hoping Pietro did as she asked, otherwise she could be detected around the perimeter. Barnes and the jet remained high in the sky while Carol was flying down to the compound.

 

As she got closer, Carol analysed the location and chose her landing place. She touched the ground in the woods beside the main building, as close as possible to her bedroom. When she was sure nobody could see her, she rushed in and mentally thanked the twins for taking good care of her cat while she was gone – they left the sliding door opened so she could go out.

 

She went in the dressing room, gathered as much of hers and Natasha's clothes as she could in a duffel bag, filled a backpack with some of Liho's stuff and then put the cat in her box.

 

Before leaving, Carol took in the view of this room that she and Natasha shared for more than a year. It was the first place they really shared, they had so many good memories in it, captured in the pictures that were on the walls and deep down in their memories. Maybe this was the last time Carol would see this room, maybe she and Natasha would be able to come back one day, she didn't know, but the eventually of not being an Avenger again wasn't as terrifying as it used to be.

 

Perhaps this was an opportunity for them to retire for good, to have this normal life they talked about so much. The future was unsure but Carol knew she would have to figure it out with Natasha and that was all she needed to know.

 

After one last look, Carol stepped on the balcony and took Liho to her first ever flight. She was unbothered the whole time and even seemed to complain when she got in the Quinjet.

 

"You are a cat person," Barnes said as he closed the rear hatch.

 

Carol frowned, "I am… Is that a problem?"

 

"Actually no, I'm quite a cat person too."

 

"Then I guess we will get along," Carol told him and set Liho free, "we should get going."

 

"Before we do that," Barnes began as he stood up, "I went through some of the stuff in there because I was hungry and… well, I didn't find anything for myself but I did find this in your bird friend stuff."

 

Carol laughed at the "bird friend" part but quickly stopped when she saw a sheet of paper in Barnes' hand, "I think it's from your girl. I didn't read it obviously but I thought you'd want to, especially after what we learnt yesterday."

 

After a short hesitation, Carol took the letter and thanked Barnes with a nod, "I'm gonna set the coordinates T'Challa gave us. Meanwhile, you can read it or whatever."

 

Carol was glad she showed Barnes the basics of flying a jet on the way back to the US because she wouldn't have been able to wait any longer to read Natasha's letter.

 

As she sat down – on the seat she always was, where Natasha would be on her right – Carol realised that her girlfriend must have had her plan ready directly after she left Vienna and the UN because the only time she was in this jet was when Tony and Sam came to pick her up to go to Berlin. Natasha knew all along that she would take the fall for Carol, she made sure that everything would happen a certain way so Carol wouldn't be in danger.

 

Even if Carol knew her girlfriend was smart, she didn't think she could plan so much ahead, and she got to discover in the letter that she had planned more than just the last few days.

 

As she read the words of the love of her life, Liho climbed on her lap and started to purr, like she used to do when Natasha and Carol where cuddling together. It was like she could feel her owner's presence, maybe she could smell what was left of her perfume on the seat or on the paper, maybe she could feel her in Carol's mind, ever-present from the moment they left the US to the moment they landed in Wakanda.

 

 

 

My love,

 

I'm sorry I kept you in the dark for this part of my plan, I know you didn't want me to take the blame but it was the most logical play. I know you would tell me it isn't true, but you are a more valuable asset for the Avengers than I am, you are extremely powerful and you have to remember it and trust yourself.

I chose to take the fall for you, so you can come back eventually, and I believe you will, we will.

 

You must be worried as hell but you really don't have to be. I made a plan with a friend of mine, he gave me place to hide for a few weeks. When I'll be sure that I'm safe, I will contact you.

As for the rest of my plan, I need you to get the Quinjet to Wakanda and to leave it there, it might be useful for us someday. Also, if you can, please get your old suit from the compound.

 

I don't wanna make this letter too long or it will turn into a novel.

 

We will see each other very soon, I promise.

Please, take care of yourself, you have time to do so, use it wisely and never forget that I'm always with you.

 

I love you with every part of me,

Be careful out there, my love.

 

I love you,

 

Natasha.

Chapter 60: Waiting for a sign

Notes:

so, um... i posted the wrong chapter yesterday
this is the right chapter 60

for the lucky people who got to read the chapter i posted by mistake, sorry, this one comes before it

Chapter Text

Wakanda.

 

It definitely wasn't how Carol expected it.

 

She had heard a lot of times that it was the poorest country of the planet, and basically everybody on Earth believed that. But it was quite the opposite. Wakanda was the richest country of Earth, by far.

 

From the outside, you could think it was mostly forest, deep dense ones, but when you passed the barrier, you could finally see how Wakanda really was. Magnificent. Advance. Magical.

 

It reminded Carol of some Kree cities but nicer, with more vegetation. Other planets in space had cities that looked like Wakanda but Carol preferred it to them, and she told T'Challa on multiple occasions.

 

She and T'Challa spent of their time together because Bucky was under cryo and the king didn't want to leave his guest on her own. Carol was checking on how T'Challa's sister, Shuri, was doing everyday on her work to erase Bucky's brainwashing but they would never be sure until he was out of his induced coma.

 

In the first few days, T'Challa introduced Carol to many people, his family of course and the leaders of the different tribes. During these visits, she got to discover more of the country and fell in love with the way they lived and saw the world. She was really inspired by all the people had to say, their culture and stories, it gave her ideas of what she wanted her future to be.

 

After a week of discovering the country and the different traditions of the tribes, Carol got to learn to speak their native language, Xhosa. The first few lessons were quite hard but Carol was willing to learn and T'Challa happy to teach her. Her struggles made Shuri laugh more than once but Carol didn't mind, it even motivated her to get better.

 

Two weeks passed quickly, faster than Carol would have imagined. With Natasha out there on the run, she thought she would have been counting every minutes and seconds until they meet again, but T'Challa had been quite efficient to make her think about something else.

 

But even if she was distracted during the days, Carol couldn't stop thinking about her at night. She was wondering if she was okay, if she was sleeping well, where she was on the planet. Maybe they were on two very different time zones, maybe they were close. The only thing she knew was that Secretary Ross thought he was going to capture her ten days after she left, she heard it on the news. Some US agency had tracked her but it turned out to be a decoy, Natasha was probably already far gone and it left Ross very frustrated – for Carol's immense satisfaction.

 

On the first day of the third week, Carol got the spend the whole day with Shuri in her lab. She was genuinely interested by this young woman, she was a very smart person, definitely one of the smartest in the world, maybe even smarter than Tony.

 

In the morning, Carol observed what she did in order to help Bucky. She didn't understand any of it, the science and the tech too complex for her, but she was confident that it would work, she believed in her work.

 

After a few hours of studies, they took a short break to eat and then went back to her lab. Shuri was intrigued and fascinated by Carol's metabolism and the way her powers work. When the blonde mentioned that she was half Kree and that it changed many things about her, the young Wakandan was even more excited, she wanted to know everything about it.

 

What Shuri wouldn't have imagined was that Carol never tried to find out more about how her powers and this blood affected her body and, before Carol could ask, she offered to do some experiments.

 

"As I see it, the Kree genetics could have no impact on you or it could be the key to your enhanced metabolism," The King's sister told her.

 

"What do you mean it could have no impact?"

 

"Your powers, you don't know what they do exactly to your body and considering how complex they are, it would be hard to measure and analyse it. They could be the source of it all but we can't be certain. What we can know, however, is how Kree blood affects a human body."

 

Carol finally understood, "So you want me to give you some blood so you can do some experiments."

 

"It would be my great honour to discover what is behind your Kree cells, yes."

 

"Your honour, sure," Carol chuckled, "you are such a nerd."

 

"I am aware, thank you very much," Shuri replied as she led Carol to a chair; "Do you think I can take more blood from you than a normal human?"

 

Carol grimaced, "Last time I lost too much blood I passed out like any regular person so I don't really wanna find out what's my limit."

 

"You are no fun but I get it," Shuri teased and applied a tourniquet on Carol's upper arm, "regular amount it is, then," she added as she jabbed the needle in Carol's vein.

 

Not so much a fan of needles, Carol looked away and tried to think about something else, and of course she thought about Natasha. She wanted to ask Shuri if she could turn someone Kree but she wasn't even finished with her blood taking yet, she couldn't just guess if it was possible. She would ask her later in the day but for the moment she kept it to herself, fearing that she would sound like an idiot if she did.

 

When Shuri was done, she hastened to go to her all her machines and put samples of Carol's blood in them to analyse it. While the machines were doing there jobs, she went to her microscope to observe what was in Carol's blood.

 

Her first reactions were gasps of amazement and, when she looked at Carol, her eyes were shining, "This is one of the best thing I've seen. It looks like you have white and red blood cells like we do but there are much more of them. They are smaller but very swift, which could explain why you can heal faster."

 

"So my Kree part heals my human part."

 

"It looks like it. I have a lot more experiment to do to confirm it but, if I can heal a rotten flesh by injecting your blood in it, than we can conclude that, yes."

 

"Alright then, I'm gonna let you do your thing and watch."

 

For two hours, Shuri went from on machine to another, gathered data and observed the actions of Carol's blood. The blonde was surprised by how fast the analysis were done but she supposed that Wakandan tech was faster than anything she had encountered before on Earth.

 

When she had a global idea of how Carol's blood worked and what it was made of, Shuri asked for a sample of Carol's epithelial cells to see if the blood altered her human part. She compared them to different human samples and could confirm that Carol was still half human.

 

"Do you know what they did to you?" she asked Carol.

 

Carol shrugged, "Nope. I was basically unconscious the whole time, I only have a vague memory of an IV in my arm and blue blood in it but that all."

 

"Well, if your body still produces Kree blood then they surely did a marrow transplant, otherwise I don't see how it is possible."

 

"That's what I supposed, too… " Carol muttered as her idea from earlier came back to her mind, "Do you think you could do it? Make somebody half Kree like me?"

 

Shuri pouted, "It would require more tests, on your bone marrow first and the other person too to see if they could be compatible but I suppose so, yes."

 

This information gave Carol hope about the future, maybe one day she and Natasha could both be half Kree and live a long life together, but for that Shuri had to confirm that Carol's longevity was caused by her genetics, not her powers.

 

She knew Shuri still had a few experiments going on so she didn't ask and instead observed the scientist in her work. She did all kinds of tests and analysis for another three long hours with what Carol could give her and she came to some conclusions.

 

The Kree blood was indeed the reason why Carol was ageing so slowly, it was healing her cells before they could be deteriorated, making them last longer than normal human cells. Her blood cells were also four times as efficient to heal a wound as were human blood cells, and it worked really well on human tissues, maybe even more than it did on a Kree person. The way Carol's body produced blood was as normal as any other human, that was why losing a lot of blood was as danger for her as it was for Shuri or anybody else from Earth.

 

As for Shuri's last discovery, it could change medicine, but the cost to pay for it would be too great for Carol's life.

 

"Whoa… that's something else."

 

"What is?" Carol asked, confused.

 

"Your blood, it healed infected cells."

 

"Wait, really!?"

 

"Yeah… I put samples of your blood in these vials with ill cells and some of the cells are healthy now."

 

"What infection are we talking about?"

 

"Pneumonia, tuberculosis, all these kind of infections that can be lethal and that are hard to cure. Your blood got a rid of them within hours."

 

"Shit that's crazy!" Carol exclaimed.

 

"It is but it can't become a treatment since it comes from someone. It would be against all laws to use you and your blood to cure these diseases, especially since your body produces blood like a normal human."

 

"What if we turn all humans half Kree?"

 

"You would be willing to give bone marrow to all of the planet?" Shuri rhetorically asked, "Carol, it would take decades to do it and it would be exactly like taking your blood to heal people, exploiting someone like that is against international laws."

 

Carol sighed, "Yeah, I know… I guess I just wanna help too much."

 

"I get that but I really don't think it could be allowed, I even doubt my brother would let me do it."

 

"So, even if you can, you would never turn someone half Kree?"

 

Shuri frowned, "Why is it so important?"

 

Carol looked down as she took a deep breath, "As you know, I have a girlfriend and she is… well, human," she began and locked her gaze with Shuri's, "I love her so much, Shuri, I don't wanna lose her in four or five decades. I want to live my whole life with her, for as long as the Kree part of me makes me live, I want her to be by my side until the end."

 

"I understand why you wanted to know if I could do it now, you are asking for her," Shuri said with a soft smile.

 

"Yes… I know it's the most selfish thing to do but I've been selfless my whole life, this would be the only thing that I ask for myself."

 

Shuri sighed, "As I said earlier, I would have to do some test on her first but I think that it is possible. No promises though."

 

"This is all I needed to know. Thank you so much Shuri."

 

"You're welcome, Carol," Shuri replied and patted her shoulder, "We will talk about this more when she can finally come here."

 

"Okay," Carol replied with relief and made her way to the exit, "I will leave you alone for today. Thank you again."

 

"Have a good evening, Carol."

 

This day had been long but it gave Carol some hopes for the future, maybe there was a way for Natasha to live longer, maybe her human ageing wouldn't prematurely take her away from Carol.

 

It was a relieved smile on her face that Carol went to the room she was sleeping in in the King's palace. It was time for dinner but Carol didn't feel like having people around her so she asked if she could get her food in her room. A few attempts were needed for her to contact the right people with the Wakandan tech but she did get her meal served in her bedroom eventually.

 

When she was done with dinner, Carol went to the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed. In the middle of her shower, she realised that she had not brought her plate and cutlery back to the kitchen but, when she went back to the bedroom, it was all gone. She made a mental note to thank whoever did this and went straight to bed.

 

Carol was barely laying in her bed when she heard a knock on her door. After a light groan, Carol got out of bed and went to the door.

 

"T'Challa!" she exclaimed as she saw him.

 

"Is it a bad time?" he asked, "I can come back tomorrow, if you'd like."

 

"No, it's all right," she assured and moved away, "Please, come in."

 

As he walked in, Carol observed T'Challa's behaviour to try and figure out what was the motive of his visit. A part of her was scared that he might ask her to leave, he had already been more than generous to accept to treat Bucky, maybe he was done with her using one of his rooms.

 

Because she didn't know what to expect, Carol felt uncomfortable and couldn't find the right place to stand and eventually sat on the edge of the bed, beside Liho.

 

"You and Natasha have a Black Panther of your own," he said jokingly.

 

Despite her nervousness, Carol still laughed, "Yeah, I guess she is," she replied and looked at T'Challa as he squatted down and stroked the cat's head.

 

"I wanted to talk to you about the future," he suddenly began, causing the knot in Carol's stomach to tighten, "I know that you will eventually join Natasha when she will be safe but I thought maybe she could be safe here."

 

At that, Carol rose her eyebrows, "Really?"

 

"Yes. Having you here is great and I'm sure it would be even better with Natasha. Of course, I would understand if you want to spend time on your own but just know that the two of you will always be welcomed in Wakanda."

 

"Wow," Carol blurted out, "I thought you were about to throw me out."

 

T'Challa couldn't fight a chuckle, "I would never. You and Natasha are my friends and, here, we treat friends like family."

 

Carol was so surprised and emotional that she couldn't stop grinning. After everything that happened, she was terrified by the idea of not having anywhere to go or stay and TChalla just gave her one, one that she would definitely consider when she and Natasha would be reunited.

 

"I also wanted to give you this," T'Challa added and handed Carol a device that looked a lot like a phone, "I thought that you and Natasha might need a way to contact some people and this is the safest option. This phone uses Wakanda tech so it is untraceable. You can do everything you do with a normal phone, you have some numbers already saved on it like one to contact me. You can even go on the internet with it, and no one can ever find your location, except us, of course."

 

"T'Challa! This will be so useful for us! Thank you so much!"

 

"It is my pleasure," he said and got up, "I shall leave you and your black panther but I hope to see you tomorrow."

 

"You will," Carol assured and accompanied him to the door, "see you tomorrow."

 

"See you tomorrow."

 

Carol went back to her bed and turned on the phone to see how it worked. She quickly understood how to send texts and call with it but had a hard time finding the internet. She eventually realised that it was always active and that she could simply start an app and it would work.

 

After an hour of learning how the phone functioned, Carol put it down and laid under the covers.

 

She wanted to sleep but her brain wouldn't stop working, as it did every evening since she got to Wakanda. Instead of trying and failing to fall asleep, Carol went to the shelf that was in her room and picked a random book. She sat on an armchair and began the book, Liho joining her after a few pages were read.

 

Thanks to the purr of the black cat and the fascinating story she was reading, Carol managed to think about something else than her worry for her girlfriend. Of course, it did come back to her when she went back to bed, but Liho's purrs soothed her and lulled her to sleep.

 

She woke up the next day as the sun rose above the crowns of the trees. After some cuddles with Liho, Carol got up looked at the view from the balcony. Wakanda was really majestic, look nothing Carol had since before, the mix between technology and nature close to perfection.

 

For a few minutes, Carol allowed herself to imagine a future in this country with Natasha and Liho. It wouldn't be for their whole life, maybe for four or five years until they'd start a family, but it sounds great to the blonde. She might submit the idea to Natasha when the redhead would be back by her side.

 

When she was thinking of going to the bathroom to get dressed, Carol was surprised by an alarm she didn't remember setting. At first, she didn't move and tried to locate the source of the sound but she quickly recognised the sound.

 

It was coming from her suit, her old Kree suit, it was the sound it made when someone was calling her. The last time she heard this alarm was when Nick called her back to Earth five years ago, and before that it was when she was still a part of the Kree civilization.

 

Carol hastened to get her suit from her bag, hoping she would have a message with this call. When she read the message, Carol was even quicker to put her suit on and flew out of the room without hesitation.

 

Need you 59.45493920,32.03741070 – N

Chapter 61: The Red Room

Notes:

so now is the right time for this chapter 😅
for those who didnt see, two weeks ago i first posted the wrong chapter and realised it a day later so go make sure you read the chapter "Waiting for a sign", if you havent it means you've already read this chapter

Chapter Text

After five days of hiding in the US, stealing cars and motorcycles, sleepless nights, exhausting days, a flight in a plane that reminded her of Cuba and two days in a ferry boat, Natasha was finally arriving to her final destination in Norway. It was one of her favourite countries, she loved the way people lived there and the landscapes, the clouds so low that it hid the top of the mountain and the waterfalls, she could spend hours in front of a waterfall.

 

In this car – that she didn't steal herself this time – Natasha was listening to a Norwegian radio on the way to this safe place her contact promised her and she was not surprise to hear about herself. She had not spoken or heard Norwegian in a while but she could still understand a few words. She was a fugitive, considered dangerous and the fact that she just pissed Ross off even more when she called him, she was in deep shit.

 

They also talked about Carol, who had not been seen since the airport fight. Thanks to Tony and the others' statements, she was not persecuted but Ross reminded many times that, if she was seen with Natasha, she would be an accomplice of her crimes. Natasha knew very well that Carol didn't care about that, the second Natasha would ask for her help, she would come running. The redhead still didn't know when she would contact Carol, she had to make sure her hiding place was safe enough for them and then decided whether or not she could join her. What she knew was that she already missed her so much, the blonde was on her mind all the time and she would most likely not be able to wait more than a couple months before asking her to come.

 

Finally arriving at the trailer that would be her home for the next few weeks, Natasha allowed herself the time to finish her coffee, took her coat off and loaded her gun before approaching the trailer. Even if it was unlikely that this was a trap, Natasha couldn't take the risk and entered with her gun ready to shoot the first stranger she'd see.

 

In the bedroom, she did see someone but it was not a stranger, quite the opposite. Rick Mason – her contact, the man who helped her plan this whole escape since the attack in Vienna – was laying on her bed, asleep. Natasha smiled as she heard his snores, the poor guy must have been working nights and days for two weeks to get her everything she asked for on time.

 

For a few seconds, Natasha watched him sleeping and searched for the best way to surprise him. She found many great ideas but it required things she didn't have so, instead, she kicked his foot and he woke up with a start, his hand mindlessly reaching for his gun.

 

"You are in my bed."

 

He grimaced as the light hurt his eyes, "I'm not even under the covers," he replied and got up.

 

"Did you get everything on my list?" Natasha asked.

 

"You've got passports," Mason replied as he went to the living area of the trailer, "entry visas, couple of local driver's licenses," he added and handed her the papers, "Mix and match you should be able to stretch it to twenty or so identities."

 

"Fanny Longbottom!" Natasha exclaimed as she looked at one of the driver's licenses.

 

"What?"

 

"What, are you twelve?"

 

"That is a legitimate name," he retorted with his fake serious tone that annoyed Natasha so much. After a chuckle, he continued, "You've got a generator outside, it's petrol-powered. And the septic tank will need a flush in a couple weeks, but, you know, I've got a guy coming for that. You have to haul your rubbish into town, it's just a twenty minutes drive. I've got your basic hardware kit stashed under the stairs."

 

"Nice."

 

"Are you okay?" he asked with a concerned look in his eyes.

 

"Why wouldn't I be?" she replied as she smiled to make him believe she was okay but he was not going to be fooled by that.

 

"I hear things. You know, something about you ordering your fellow Avengers to go against the law."

 

"You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" she said playfully, knowing he was half trying to flirt and half really worried.

 

"You can tell me, you know. That's the way the whole friends thing works."

 

"I know, I have friends."

 

"People who have friends don't call me."

 

Natasha smirked, "And I don't pay you to worry… I already have someone for that and she does it beautifully."

 

For the first time in the conversation, Mason looked away, "Yeah… that someone, huh?"

 

"Yep, that one," Natasha replied as she watched him leave.

 

He looked back at her and smiled, "Never thought I'd live in a world where Natasha Romanoff has a girlfriend."

 

Natasha scoffed, "Trust me, five years ago, I would have said the same thing."

 

"I believe you," Mason concluded and began to step away.

 

Natasha went to the door to look at him disappear in the forest and saw a box full of letters and small packages, "What's all this junk?" she asked.

 

"Oh, just some mail and personals from the Budapest safe house," he told her.

 

Natasha noted the way he said "Budapest", it wasn't how she was told it was said and had to tease him about it, "Budapesht?"

 

"Yeah. Budapest."

 

"No, it's "Budapesht"," Natasha repeated as she smirked.

 

"Whatever… I knew you weren't going back there so I've got someone else in the flat now."

 

"Sorry you went through the trouble. I would have told you to chuck it."

 

"Well, if you don't want to, throw it in the rubbish," Mason concluded and left for good this time.

 

For a moment – it could have been ten seconds or five minutes – Natasha stared at that box and the memories of Budapest came back to her. She spent some difficult days there, hiding from the Red Room, being attacked and almost killed by Clint and finally planning and murdering someone. These were memories Natasha tried and wished she could get a rid of but her brain never let her forget, it was a part of her, like all the rest of the pain she went through.

 

When she finally looked away, Natasha thought that Mason's idea wasn't so bad, she would go to the city soon and throw this box to the trash, or rubbish as he always said.

 


 

Natasha stepped onto the restaurant's terrace with a beer in each hand, one for herself of course and one for her sister. While she sat down, Yelena was using vodka as a disinfectant to clean the large cut on her right biceps.

 

As Natasha sat opposite to her sister and put the drinks down, Yelena exhaled a loud breath because of the pain that came with disinfecting her wound.

 

Natasha was looking at the people around them when Yelena began to talk, "That gas, the counteragent… It was synthesized in secret by an older widow from Melina's generation. I was on the mission to retrieve it and she exposed me and I killed the widow that freed me…"

 

"Did you have a choice?" Natasha asked, although she knew the answer.

 

Yelena didn't even reply and instead explained to her what she went through, "What you experienced with psychological conditioning. I'm talking chemically altering brain functions, they're two completely different things. You're fully conscious but you don't know which part is you… I'm still not sure."

 

Seeing the pain in her little sister's eyes, Natasha got up and sat beside her, to comfort her and to tend to her wound, "Is that all there is left?" she asked and nodded at the vials that were hidden in Yelena's bag.

 

The blonde assassin hummed, "It's the only thing that can stop Dreykov and his network of widows," she replied, her voice louder at the end of her sentence as Natasha pressed together the sides of the cut and then blew a cold breath on it.

 

"He takes more everyday," Yelena continued, "children who don't have anyone to protect them, just like us when we were small. Maybe one in twenty survives the training and becomes a widow, the rest he kills. To him we are just things… weapons with no face that he can just throw away, because there is always more. And no one is even looking for him thanks to you and Alexei."

 

"Alexei?"

 

Yelena chuckled, "Dad."

 

Her job done, Natasha went back to her seat and they both looked at a man and his son, hugging in a garage.

 

"Did you ever looked for your parents? The real ones?" Yelena asked.

 

"If what I remember is right, they were killed by him… What about you?"

 

"They destroy my birth certificate, so I reinvented it… My parents still live in Ohio, my sister moved out west."

 

Natasha smiled, "Is that right?"

 

"You're a science teacher. You're working part-time though, especially after you had your son. Your husband, he renovates houses."

 

"That is not my story."

 

Yelena scoffed, "What is your story?"

 

"Well, it's not a husband. She will be a wife one day though, that's for sure."

 

"Did you ever wish for kids?"

 

"We talked about it," Natasha replied and noticed a short but genuine smile on Yelena's face. Maybe she liked the idea of being an aunt one day, Natasha would definitely love to see it.

 

"I want a dog."

 

Natasha chuckled, "We have a cat."

 

"Ugh… cats."

 

"You'll love her."

 

Yelena shook her head, "Sure."

 

"So… Where you gonna go?"

 

"I don't know… I don't really have anywhere to go back to, so I guess anywhere."

 

The fact that Yelena didn't know where to go meant she could stay with Natasha a little bit longer and she'd really like that, even if she let her believe the opposite a couple hours earlier. As she smiled, Natasha sat up and was about to make an offer when Yelena bested her.

 

"Don't," she said firmly.

 

"Don't what?" Natasha asked, pretending she didn't understand.

 

Yelena snorted, "You are going to give me some big hero speech, I can feel it."

 

Natasha shook her head, "Speeches are more of my girl's thing."

 

"Oh yeah?"

 

Natasha nodded, "It was more like an invitation."

 

"To go to the Red Room and kill Dreykov?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Even though the Red Room is impossible to find and Dreykov is too slippery to kill?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"That sounds like a shitload of work."

 

"Yup," Natasha replied and smiled, "Could be fun though."

 

Yelena smirked, "Yup."

 


 

It was like old time, like the family dinners they had in Ohio but this time, it ended in a fight. Alexei had joined Yelena in the other room, leaving Natasha and Melina alone at the table.

 

One glance was enough for Natasha to feel uncomfortable. Back in the days, she and Melina had a special relationship because they both knew the other had been in the Red Room, trained to be an assassin. Natasha knew this family was all fake so Melina focus her attention on Yelena but she always cared for Natasha, unfortunately it was not enough for the redhead.

 

Sitting there was too much for her. In a way, it was all she ever wanted, to get her family back, but the context of this reunion made the moment awkward and impossible to enjoy. They also still had to stop Dreykov, one way or another, and Natasha was not going to sit there and wait for her family to be ready to go after him.

 

"Where are you going?" Melina asked as Natasha left the table.

 

"To do this myself."

 

"Don't. You won't survive."

 

"I wish I could believe that you cared but unlike my real mother you abandoned me."

 

"You remember your mother?" Melina asked as she joined Natasha.

 

"I have this… vague memory of being carried away by people after they came to our house. I'm not sure it's real but I think I was taken."

 

"You were," Melina confirmed, "You were selected by a program that assessed the genetic potential in infants."

 

Natasha slowly approached Melina, wanting to know more about what happened but at the same time scared to know the truth, "You know what happened?" she eventually wondered.

 

"I believe a bargain was struck, your family paid off… but your mother, she never stopped looking for you. She was like you in that way, she was relentless."

 

"I thought they killed them in the house, I remember it burning."

 

"That must be your imagination."

 

"Then what happened to her?"

 

"Dreykov had her killed," Melina said and Natasha suddenly felt like she couldn't breath, "her existence threatened to uncover the Red Room. Normally the actions of one curious civilian wouldn't warrant an execution but, as I said, she was relentless."

 

Natasha swallowed hard to try to make her throat feel better but it was pointless, "I thought about her everyday of my life," she said with a voice raspier than when she wakes up as a single tear ran down her cheek, "Whether or not I admit it to myself, I did," she added as she tried to put on a brave face.

 

"I've always found it best not to look into the past."

 

Maybe it wasn't a bad advice. Looking forward could be a better thing to do, although, for now, Natasha's future was a life on the run, hiding and away from the woman she loved.

 

As she gathered herself, Natasha observed the shelf she was standing next to and thought she was hallucinating when she saw a photo album she had last seen in Ohio twenty one years ago, "Then why did you save this?" she asked Melina as she took the album and opened it.

 

The absence of answer from Melina was saying plenty. Just like Natasha and Yelena, this fake family mattered to her and she tried to hide it during dinner.

 

When she saw the first pictures, Natasha felt like she jumped back in time, at a period of her life where she was happy, "I remember this day," she said and tapped a picture of her and Yelena with Christmas presents, "We shot Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter and summer vacation all in one day, different backdrops," Melina, who was now standing beside her, hummed in agreement, "I knew all the presents under the tree were just empty boxes but I didn't care, I wanted to open every single one… so just for a second it would feel real."

 

"Lets stop this," Melina muttered and took the album away from Natasha.

 

Natasha watched the back of a woman who used to be her mother, who used to care, and she couldn't stop wondering why she would help them find Dreykov, "Why are you doing this?"

 

Melina turned around and replied, "Why does a mouse born in a cage run on that little wheel? Do you know I was circled through the Red Room four times before you were even born? Those walls are all I know. I was never given a choice."

 

"But you are not a mouse, Melina," Natasha assured, "you were just born in a cage but that's not your fault."

 

Melina let out a laugh, "Tell me, how did you keep your heart?"

 

"Pain only makes us stronger. Didn't you tell us that? What you taught me kept me alive… and I had a little help in the recent years."

 

Melina smiled, "It's good to have someone by your side, especially when it gets hard."

 

"Yeah, that's also something you and Alexei taught me."

 

When Natasha thought she would see pride in Melina's eyes, she saw sadness and understood why with her following words, "I'm sorry, I already alerted the Red Room, they'll be here any minute."

 


 

Natasha had hard time believe what she was seeing. The Red Room, falling from the sky, crashing before her eyes. Dreykov and the helicopter he was in exploded thanks to Yelena and Taskmaster – Antonia – was back to back to being herself.

 

They did it. They took down the Red Room, for real this time.

 

Knowing that Secretary Ross and his troops would soon arrive, Natasha used her modified tracker to send a distress message to Carol's pager, so she could find her and fly her to safety.

 

Now that the blonde superhero knew where to find her, Natasha wanted to find the other blonde in her life, her sister. She was still stunned when Natasha jumped in the void of air so maybe her landing didn't go well, she could be hurt.

 

As she shouted her name, Natasha tried and located the veil that looked like the parachute and ran to her sister's side, "Yelena?" she said softly as caressed her hair, the younger woman slowly opening her eyes at the touch.

 

When she realised it was Natasha with her, Yelena smiled, "Were both upside down," she said, causing Natasha to grin as she remembered when she used to play outside with her little sister.

 

Yelena groaned as she sat up and was very confused when she saw Natasha's concerned face and felt her hands on her shoulders. With tears in her eyes and emotion in her voice, "Forgive me little sister…" Natasha spoke in Russian and added in English, "I should've come back for you."

 

"You don't have to say that, it's okay" replied Yelena, not totally believing Natasha's words were real.

 

"Hey… It was real to me, too."

 

Natasha could see the realisation in Yelena's eyes as she processed her word. They felt the same way. They were sisters.

 

Yelena was genuinely happy and relived, so much that she had to hide her smile by putting her mouth against Natasha's wrist that she kissed before pressing there foreheads together. Then, Yelena pulled Natasha closer and buried her face into her neck, "Thank you," she muttered in the embrace.

 

Natasha allowed herself to feel and let out some tears of joy and relief. When she opened her eyes, she saw Alexei and Melina walking towards her and Yelena, Melina seemingly hurt. When she pulled out of the hug, Yelena looked back at her parents and got up to meet them halfway.

 

"Everybody good?" Natasha asked them.

 

"I am clearly injured," Melina replied.

 

Natasha looked at Alexei, "You got something to say?"

 

He smiled, "I'd just mess it up," he said and reached for Natasha's hand.

 

She took a step forward and held his hand for a few second as a sign of reconciliation. When she let go of his hand, Natasha saw that many vehicles were coming their way. It was of course Ross, coming to arrest her.

 

Natasha nodded at the cars, "Here comes the cavalry."

 

"So, what's our plan?" Melina asked.

 

"You guys go. My ride should be there soon."

 

"Talking about me?" a voice said from behind them, "You could have called me before this thing crashed, you know?"

 

"Who is that?" Alexei asked with his fists risen, ready to fight.

 

"Woah! You didn't tell me your father is the Red Guardian!" exclaimed Carol as she stepped beside Natasha.

 

"She knows who I am," Alexei muttered, shocked that Carol could know him.

 

Carol chuckled, "Yeah, I happen to be older than I look. I kinda lived my teenage years and twenties during the cold war so I heard a lot about the legendary Red Guardian."

 

"Legendary…"Alexei repeated.

 

"So, that's the not-husband, huh?" Yelena said as she stepped in front of Carol who smirked, "And that's the sister," she mirrored and offered her hand, "I heard a lot about you, Yelena."

 

The blonde assassin glanced at her sister and smiled before shaking Carol's hand, "And I heard you make her happy. Keep doing it."

 

Carol smiled back, "I will."

 

While Carol went to introduce herself properly to Melina and Alexei, Yelena stepped closer to her sister, "Okay, well, if you are leaving then I guess you should take this," she told her and unzipped her jacket, "I know how much you like it."

 

Natasha snorted, "Shucks," she said and Yelena laughed, "It does have a lot of pockets."

 

"Very handy pockets, yeah," the blonde confirmed.

 

Since it was the moment for exchanges, Natasha took the last vial of antidote out of her pocket and gave it to Yelena, "He had widows implanted all over the world. Melina will need to copy the formula, but you should be the one to tell 'em it's over."

 

"Guys, is that your ride?" Carol asked as she heard the sound of jet.

 

Natasha and Yelena turned at the same time to see it land. Then, all the widows that they just saved stepped out of it and Yelena went to meet them.

 

"I think it's time for you to go," Natasha told Melina and Alexei.

 

The latter nodded and the former reached for her hand, "Hey, you take care of yourself, okay?"

 

With a smile, Natasha looked at her girlfriend and back at her mother, "Don't worry, she does that very well."

 

"I know," Melina replied and looked at Natasha and Carol one last time before going to the jet.

 

Natasha and Carol watched Melina, Alexei, and the widows as they stepped towards the jet. One of the widows went to Antonia, who was still laying on the floor, and helped her back on her feet.

 

When it was only Yelena out of the jet, she looked back at her sister and whistled. Natasha mindlessly whistled back and shared one last smile with Yelena, who then turned back and entered the jet.

 

The couple watched the jet taking off and then Carol spoke up, "Shall we?" she asked as she offered her hand.

 

Natasha looked down at it and replied, "Fly me to the moon, my love."

Chapter 62: Hiding

Notes:

Merry Christmas Eve everybody!

Chapter Text

Living in a trailer, something Carol used to do every year for two weeks with her parents and brothers when she was a child but never thought she would do again, and yet there she was. After an as-fast-as-lightning round trip to Wakanda to get their stuff and cat, Carol settled down in the trailer in which Natasha was hiding before she ran into her long lost sister and took down – for good – the source of all her traumas.

 

It wasn't as bad as she remembered it, but maybe that was because her parents' trailer was small, unpractical and she had to share her bed with her brother Steve or sleep on the floor. This trailer was quite cosy and it had something that Carol didn't have back in the days, a bathroom and toilets. There was nothing she hated more than having to go to the public bathroom during the holidays with her family, even sleeping with her brother wasn't as bad as that.

 

With Natasha, they made it their own in less than a week and were ready to spend weeks, maybe even months in it. Of course it was nothing compared to the luxury they were used to – in the compound or in Wakanda – but it was enough.

 

They didn't work on making it comfortable during the first day though. They spent that day locked in the bedroom, naked the whole time, showing each other how much they were missed.

 

The first time Carol took Natasha's clothes off, she was in shock to see all the bruises on her skin, the cuts and wounds she got from fighting the Red Room. She almost had more damaged skin than healthy skin and it really worried Carol, even if Natasha assured she was fine. For their first hours in the trailer, Carol applied balm all over Natasha's body to sooth her sore body, tended to her wounds and kissed her bruises before they resumed making love.

 

After this reunion and the five days of decorating, Natasha and Carol didn't have anything left to eat and there came their first problem, how would they get food and other product they might need? Natasha went to a shop when she first got there but, since then, her picture as been plastered all over the news, on a daily basis and even in the smallest town of Norway. Carol could go but her face was as known as her girlfriend's and it might be even more dangerous for Natasha if she was seen there. The fact that Carol was away was becoming more and more suspicious for the authorities from what they saw in the media, so, if she was seen somewhere, Ross would come and check if she was with Natasha.

 

But Natasha had thought of this possibility and she found something that she thought would work.

 

"Hair dye?" Carol said as she looked at the box, "What for? Is my hair not blonde enough for you?" she asked and Natasha chuckled, "It's not for you, dummy, it's for me. If I cut and dye my hair, I will be less recognisable."

 

"Oh!" Carol blurted out, "that's a very good idea."

 

"I know it is, it's my idea," Natasha teased as she took the box from Carol's hands and went to the kitchen, "Now, could you help me do it?" she asked and handed her the scissors.

 

Carol looked down at the scissors and wavered, "A-are you sure? You said you wanted to grow your hair again- I know you love it like this."

 

Natasha smiled, she loved it when Carol was so considerate, "I do like my hair like this but I am a fugitive now, changing my appearance is the first thing I should have done. Plus, if I don't do it, who's gonna get us food? I can't ask Mason to bring us things every two days."

 

Carol could tell that Natasha was a bit upset that she had to do this despite the fact that she was joking about it. With a half smile, Carol took the box of dye and the scissors and put them away to have her hands free to hug Natasha.

 

"It's not that big of a deal, you know," Natasha said into the embrace and rose an eyebrow when Carol pulled out, "It even seems like it affects you more than me."

 

"Don't pretend with me, Natasha. I know that you want to be in control of the way you look and your hair is a part of that."

 

"You're right, I do, I love my hair like this and wish I didn't have to do it but it's for my own safety. I rather live with short blonde hair than die with this haircut," she told Carol and gave her the scissors again, "so please, can you help me?"

 

"Of course I can," Carol replied and tossed the scissors away again, causing Natasha to groan, "but let me enjoy this hair for the last time first."

 

Natasha couldn't stop herself from smiling, "Fine," she sighed and stepped forward to press her head against Carol's chest.

 

They held each other for a dozen minutes, Natasha's arms around Carol's waist while she had her fingers in her red locks. Natasha was the one to step out of the hug, she knew that, the longer it would last, the more she could change her mind so they had to do it now.

 

It felt weird for Carol to see Natasha with short hair again. She didn't think it would happen for a while but she still loved it, it was the haircut Natasha had when they first met, when she fell in love with her. What was a shock was when Natasha came back from the bathroom with her hair straitened and fully blonde.

 

Carol let out a gasp of surprise that scared Natasha a bit, "Is it that bad?" she genuinely asked as she dried her hair with a towel.

 

Speechless, Carol only had her eyes to show how much she found her girlfriend beautiful and it did the trick, "You look amazing, is what you wanna say?" Natasha told her.

 

After a couple of unsuccessful attempts, Carol managed to make a sound, "Yeah," she replied and tucked a strand of Natasha's freshly dyed hair behind her ear, "I feel like I fell in love with you all over again."

 

Natasha smirked, "Wanna show me how much in love of me you are?"

 

Carol was quicker to get the hint than she was when flying through the universe.

 

In the next days, when they needed to buy something to eat or wash clothes, Natasha would take the car and go to the grocery store or the laundromat while Carol would go out around the trailer with Liho. It was the only times they allowed themselves to go out but they quickly became restless because they were always inside. When it became unbearable for them both, they decided to allow themselves two runs a week, not at the same time. Natasha was going out on Mondays and Thursdays and Carol on Tuesdays and Fridays.

 

Now that they had a routine they both liked, time went smoothly for them. Quickly, it was their third week in the trailer, they were getting used to living there and so was Liho, who was getting all the cuddles she asked for. Every time they went out to walk her, they tried to go to a part of the woods they never went to before, until they knew it all.

 

One day, Natasha agreed to take Carol to the city. She said she wanted to get herself some new, warmer clothes – clothes she didn't take from the compound because she didn't expect to end up in the cold of Norway – and Natasha always preferred to let her pick for her clothes, she didn't want to get something her girlfriend would feel uncomfortable in.

 

They went out when there was the most people in town and blended in with the crowd. Carol was very excited to see other people, Natasha even had to remind her that they could not befriend anybody because they were still hiding, on the run in her case.

 

They went back to the trailer with five shopping bags, Natasha didn't even know there were that much different stores in this city yet she had been there at least once every week. Carol loved her purchases so much that she decided to do her own fashion show.

 

While she was changing in the bedroom, Natasha was in the living room, on the phone T'Challa gave to Carol. When she stepped out in her first outfit, Natasha played a song so she could parade and she took pictures of her. They were both having a great time, Carol loving to pretend she was a model and Natasha unashamedly enjoying how sexy her girlfriend was.

 

If the first three outfits were quite normal, the fourth had Natasha laugh, "A onesie, really?"

 

"What? I needed a pyjama and I found this," Carol replied as she sat beside Natasha who was still mocking her, "Don't worry, I've got one for you too."

 

"Wait, really?"

 

Carol smirked, "I know you secretly love them," she purred to her ear and seized the phone as she got up, "I still have one outfit to show you. I'll be right back."

 

Natasha was as glad that Carol bought her a onesie as she was oddly excited by the tone of her voice when she left. She didn't know what was her last outfit but she felt like she would like it more than the others, and she was right.

 

Carol stepped into the living room wearing a dark blue laced bra and a matching thong while the song Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande was playing on the phone. Carol left the phone on the counter and started to dance, in the middle of the room at first and then, when she saw all the lust in Natasha's eyes, she stepped closer and let the formerly-redhead pull her on her lap.

 

"I thought you said you needed warm clothes," Natasha said as she tried to keep her eyes on Carol's face but she was distracted by her breasts in this perfectly fitting bra.

 

"Don't worry for me, I feel quite hot right now," Carol flirted.

 

As she continued to dance, to roll her hips and rub her ass on her girlfriend's thighs, Natasha was slowly stroking Carol's thighs. Carol liked that Natasha was going slowly, that she was letting do her thing, that she accepted to be teased, something she usually disliked.

 

As the song end, Carol finished her lap dance and finally kissed Natasha. Her hands were quick to find Carol's butt and she squeezed it gently as hers and Carol's tongue met. The lack of contact between their skins was not to Carol's liking, she wanted to feel her girlfriend all over her, she needed it, so she broke the kiss to take off her t-shirt.

 

This was enough for Natasha to get up and carry Carol to the bedroom, the woman that was usually the one in the other's arms was now lifting her as if she weighted nothing. Inside, they got a rid of what was left of their clothes and spent most of the evening making love, forgetting the food they had bought for dinner and the movie they planned on watching.

 

The only reason why Carol got out of bed was Liho. It was time for her to sleep and, at night, she liked to be with her owners, on the little bed Natasha made for her on her nightstand. On her way back to the bed, Carol picked up a t-shirt and panties that she put on despite Natasha's complaints.

 

"You just got my body for three hours, let me rest a little," she told her and went to the kitchen, "Also, get your ass here. I planned to make you a nice dinner and I will, even if it's past midnight."

 

Carol heard a groan from the bedroom, the bed cracking and then nothing. She thought for a moment that Natasha decided to sleep but she actually got out of bed and joined her girlfriend in silence. As usual, Natasha – only dressed with a long blouse that she didn't close – held Carol from behind while she was cooking.

 

Every three minutes, Carol was asking Natasha to taste what she was making, she wanted it to be to her liking so she needed her opinion. Natasha was okay with tasting what she made, but when Carol asked if she thought it smelt good, Natasha realised she had a revelation to make.

 

"I think I might have forgotten to tell you that I don't have my sense of smell anymore because I broke my nerve when I confronted Dreykov."

 

"You did what now?" Carol asked as she spun to face Natasha, "Babe! How did you not tell me this?"

 

"I don't know. I guess I got used to not smelling anything."

 

"That explains why you haven't complained about Liho's litter yet."

 

Natasha let out a laugh, "Yeah, that's definitely the reason because this cat's ass smells."

 

"You know, Shuri- T'Challa's brother, she is one of the smartest people I know. I'm sure she could fix it for you."

 

"I guess it could be useful," Natasha muttered as she set the table.

 

Natasha went back to the bedroom to put on more clothes while Carol was serving the meal. She wasn't very surprised to see Natasha walking in the living room with her onesie on and didn't stop herself from laughing, just like the redhead did earlier. While Carol finished preparing their meal, Natasha got the movie they rented ready on her computer. Even if it was late, they would watch the movie because they didn't have anywhere to go the next day, they could sleep in.

 

It was their evening ritual, eating in front of a movie or a TV show and this time they picked a classic at the store, Dirty Dancing. Carol remembered seeing it for the first time at the theatre with Maria, she didn't expect to like it and was agreeably surprised by what she saw. However, it wasn't to Maria's liking, romance never was her thing but she liked the songs.

 

In the end, the couple spent more time chatting about their memories of this movie than watching it. Natasha noticed how Carol was talking about Maria without struggle and she was really proud of her, she managed to grieve in the recent weeks.

 

It made Natasha curious, they had not talked about all the problems they had before it all went down and maybe it was the time for them to do so, "You know, I realised we haven't talked about any serious subject since we got here."

 

"Yeah, I guess we needed some us time. It actually feels great to not think about this kind of stuff."

 

"It does, but I think we should still have a conversation about a couple things."

 

Carol sighed, "Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

 

"How did you feel in Wakanda? Did you take the time to process everything that happened recently while you were there?"

 

"You mean did I take the time to grieve my best friend?" Carol reworded.

 

"That and all the shits that went down with Barnes and Tony."

 

"Honestly… I tried to not think about what Tony said because it made me wanna kill him. As for Bucky, we didn't get to talk much, Shuri put him under cryotherapy while she treats him so he isn't conscious. And… Maria… well," Carol allowed herself a break and pressed pause on the movie to be more focused, "I think I'm out of the "I wanna destroy the whole world" phase so there's that. I'm still very sad when I think about her but I don't cry anymore. Talked about her with T'Challa, he told me about how they see death in their culture, it gave me some different perspectives on it… It was nice to share it with him and to get his advice, I needed it."

 

"That's good to hear. I'm glad you allowed yourself some time for that, it's important."

 

"It's like you said, it's gonna be okay."

 

Natasha smiled, "It will."

 

"Love you, Natasha."

 

"Love you, Carol."

 

"So… since we are in the difficult subjects…" Carol began and took Natasha's hand, "You didn't tell me how it felt to see your family again."

 

"T'was… unexpected. Seeing Yelena was one thing but Alexei and Melina, I never thought I would see them again. Hell, I even believed for twenty years that Melina was dead."

 

"Yelena, she seems to be quite someone," Carol noted.

 

"Yeah. I think you two will get along well… Maybe even too much, you're gonna annoy me, I can feel it."

 

Carol giggled, "Maybe we will, if we get the chance to see them again."

 

"We will. I plan on seeing them regularly, I want them back in my life, it feels good to have them around."

 

"I didn't expected anything else. I'm sure Yelena will make a great aunt and Alexei and Melina amazing grandparents one day."

 

Natasha's eyes widened as she imagined Alexei as a grandfather, "God, Alexei will be the worst, telling them his stories as the Red Guardian and all that."

 

"Stories are nice, they make the family dinners funnier."

 

"Yeah, well, wait until he tells the story of when his dad peed on his hands."

 

"What?"

 

Natasha scoffed, "You don't wanna know."

 

Not sure she wanted to know more, Carol pressed play on the movie. They watched what was left of it in silence and sang along to the last dance.

 

"I miss your songs…" Natasha muttered when it was over, "I love it when you play the piano for me, it calms me."

 

"Well, we can't really get a piano in that thing, can we?"

 

"Maybe you can get one of these apps and play on the phone. Should be enough."

 

"Natasha, you realise how small the screen is. Even if I wanted-"

 

"Baby please,…" Natasha pleaded with her most adorable gaze, "Please, try it."

 

"I can't believe you are making me do this," Carol groaned as she unlocked the phone and looked for an app that would work.

 

"Thank you," Natasha replied and kissed Carol's cheeks, "You are the best."

 

"I know."

 

She downloaded three apps before finding one on which she could play despite the size of the screen – that was still bigger than the average phone. While she was attempting to play, Natasha was making the bed they undid a few hours before and called her when it was ready.

 

"I was thinking, since I play the piano for you, maybe you could dance for me. Or maybe we could even dance together," Carol said as she joined her in the bed room.

 

"You wanna learn how to dance?" Natasha asked, not hiding her surprise.

 

"Yeah, I mean why not? I already love it even if I suck at it so I might as well try to become better. We could try to dance like they do in the movie"

 

The fact that Carol thought they could dance like they did in Dirty Dancing was cute to Natasha, she didn't realise how hard what they did was, "Okay, I suppose we can try. Or maybe we should wait until we get the jet back."

 

"The jet? How?"

 

"Well, I might have asked Mason to buy it from T'Challa. It was all planned, don't worry about it."

 

"You made him buy a jet that was already ours?" Carol asked as she slipped under the blanket.

 

"Technically, no. T'Challa was aware so he mustn't have spend that much money on it. Plus, he will be happy when he''ll give it back to us, he is always so grumpy so I thought it could be nice for once."

 

"Buying a jet makes him happy?"

 

"No, but having satisfied clients does. And it's me so it's even better."

 

At this, Carol frowned, "Wait, does this guy has a crush on you or something?"

 

"I guess he kinda does, but he knows you exist so there is no need to worry."

 

"Why is it that every men on this planet has a crush on you?"

 

Natasha chuckled, "Jealous much?"

 

"What? You can admit that it is annoying for me!"

 

"You have nothing to worry about. And, you know, you are quite popular too. A lot of people on the internet would love to have you in their beds."

 

"Well, you have nothing to worry about either. You are the only person I want in my bed, with Liho of course."

 

"Of course," Natasha repeated with a smirk and leaned in, "Good night, my love."

 

Carol closed the gap between their lips and smiled, "Good night."

 

A few days later, when Natasha was at the store to get some groceries, she saw in the journal an advert for a car on a newspaper that seemed odd. With a better look on it, Natasha realised that it was actually a coded message from Mason. He got the quinjet and was giving her the location of where and when they would meet. Seeing the date, Natasha went back to her car and hurried to drive to the trailer.

 

As she made her way inside, she hoped Carol was not gone on her jogging yet. Hopefully, she was still in her pyjamas, cuddling with Liho on the couch.

 

"Natasha? You're already back?"

 

"I found a message from Mason in a newspaper. I think he didn't expect it to take that much time to get to us so we have to go now."

 

Carol stood up and joined her girlfriend, "Okay, slow down. What was the message?"

 

"He is expecting us in three hours to give us the jet. We have to go get a motorbike that is hidden in the city and then join him there, which is a two hours drive."

 

"We should get going then."

 

While they changed, they decided to not take any of their belongings with them. They could come back to the trailer, even with the jet – they had enough space to land around it – so if they needed anything they would just flight back there.

 

Carol was ready first and waited for Natasha in the living room as she talked to Liho to tell her they would be away for a bit. When Natasha got out, she couldn't stop herself from gasping, "Shit, that's hot."

 

"Oh yeah?" Natasha replied as she approached her.

 

"Fuck yes. You can kick my ass whenever you want with this."

 

Natasha was in a black skinny pair of jeans, a tight matching top with long sleeves and she had Yelena's jacket on top of it. With this outfit, she had her classic black boots that Carol always loved.

 

"I'll kick your ass later, if that's okay with you," Natasha said and kissed her lips, "we have to go."

 

They found the motorbike exactly where Mason indicated with two helmets and the key hidden in one of them. Carol let Natasha drive and used her passenger position to enjoy her girlfriend's body.

 

It was a quiet drive to the location they were given but it was longer than expected. They were half an hour late, which was really not their style, but Natasha knew Mason didn't mind, he was himself rarely on time.

 

As she got off of the motorcycle, Natasha saw Mason, asleep on the ground, and chuckled as she heard him snoring. Then, she looked back at Carol and nodded at him.

 

"That's your contact?" her girlfriend asked sceptically.

 

"Yeah… he kinda lacks sleep," Natasha replied and kicked him in his feet, waking him up with a start "you ever not sleep?"

 

"I've been in six different time zones in three days because of you."

 

"Oh, really?" Carol said as she stepped forward.

 

At first, Mason stared at her, analysed her, and after ten seconds he looked back at Natasha, "I assume that's your someone. I get why I had no chance."

 

Carol smirked, "He is perceptive."

 

"Thanks, at least you compliment me."

 

"And definitely sensitive," Carol added.

 

"You told her that?"

 

Natasha laughed, "Of course I did, look at how fun it is."

 

"It's not fun for me"

 

"It's not fun for me," Natasha repeated as she mocked him, "So, what have you got for us, an upside-down lawnmower?"

 

Instead of answering, Mason pointed in direction of his find and smiled proudly. Natasha and Carol both pretended to be surprised that he got the quinjet because they knew it would make him happy.

 

"See what I can get you with a bit of time and money," he said after a dozen seconds and kept his gaze on Natasha, "Go on. Say it. I wanna hear it. It would really be good for me to hear it, really."

 

Natasha grinned, even if he could be annoying some times, Mason was truly a nice guy and she could not deny him this joy, "I'm impressed."

 

His smile grew wider, "Thanks," he muttered and continued with a louder voice, "Where are you gonna go?"

 

Natasha turned to Carol before answering, "Well, we aren't really sure yet. Turns out the trailer is not so bad when the electricity works so we might go back to it at some point. We also have some friends to visit, maybe we will start with that."

 

"Sounds like you're going on another adventure."

 

"It's our thing," Carol replied, "we can't stay away from people for too long."

 

"Well, then, I'm not gonna keep you waiting."

 

"Before we go," Natasha exclaimed to stop Mason from leaving, "If you ever get a text from a very long phone number, it'll be us. Don't answer it, just read and delete, okay?"

 

"Yep, will do," he said and waved at them.

 

After a last glance, Natasha and Carol made their way to the quinjet and the new chapter of their lives that was coming.

Chapter 63: Answers

Chapter Text

It would not make sense for everybody else, but for Carol and Natasha, going back to the trailer was the logical move after they got the Quinjet back. They were happily surprised by the changes that T'Challa made on it. Thanks to some Wakandan tech he added, the jet had now a stealth mod that turned it fully invisible, which would be very helpful for the couple to hide.

 

Undetected, they flew back to Finland and landed the jet beside the trailer and went back to the routine they had left there. They were getting used to this life, away from people, just the two of them and Liho in this little house on wheels. Every Tuesdays and Fridays, Natasha was taking the car to get groceries for the next few days, and the rest of the week they stayed at the trailer or went on walks in the mountains around.

 

One day, without warning, Mason visited the trailer while Natasha was on her morning run and Carol was alone inside with Liho. It was a bit awkward between them at first, partly because Mason was jealous of Carol and because she didn't like that he liked Natasha, but they eventually started talking and got along quite well.

 

Natasha walked in on them laughing on the couch, Carol so amused that she was struggling to breathe, "That's new," Natasha said as she closed the door and went to the counter.

 

"Rick told me the time you asked for a taxi and he got you an auto rickshaw," Carol explained, still laughing.

 

"And you call him Rick now?" Natasha exclaimed.

 

"Well, we happen to have at least one thing in common and that is annoying you, so we shared our best stories while you were away," Mason told her.

 

Natasha sighed, "Right… I preferred when Carol and I were teaming up to annoy you."

 

"Don't worry, baby, now that you're back we shall annoy him instead," Carol replied as she joined Natasha in the kitchen and helped her put the groceries in the fridge and cupboards.

 

"Why are you even here anyway?" Natasha asked Mason.

 

"I asked the same thing but he said we had to wait for you to come back."

 

Mason got up and sat on a stool at the counter, "Well, I got you a letterbox down town, that way your friends can write to you."

 

"You did!" Carol joyfully exclaimed.

 

"Why did you get us that?"

 

Carol shared a look with Mason and put the last groceries in the fridge before answering, "I asked him to get one for us, since we're gonna be here for a while."

 

Natasha frowned, "I don't understand, we have the phone T'Challa gave you, we can't be tracked with it so we could just text them, we don't need a letterbox."

 

"We may not be traceable but Ross can still find out that they are texting with us and I don't wanna risk it. The calls are untraceable so contacting the team is possible but still dangerous for us and for them. Ross must be behind them, looking for us, so we have to play it safe."

 

Natasha slowly nodded. Carol was making a good point, putting themselves at risk was one thing, but putting the Avengers at risk was not fair, not just for the team but even for the whole world. The planet needed the Avengers to protect them, if they were to be disbanded, the population of Earth could suffer from it.

 

After a minute of reflection, Natasha agreed, "I guess it's a good idea. They can write to us if they need to and we can contact them in case of emergency."

 

"Exactly my thought," Carol said and kissed Natasha's temple, "Thank you for this," she then told Mason.

 

"You're welcome."

 

"Could you contact Sam Wilson, tell him about the letterbox."

 

Mason smiled, "He is already aware of it. I'm sure you will get letters in a few days."

 

"Woah!" Natasha exclaimed, "When did you become so efficient?"

 

Mason's jaw dropped, "You are so ungrateful sometimes, Natasha Romanoff."

 

"And you never understand irony."

 

"You never understand irony," he repeated, mimicking Natasha's tone as he went to the door, "Since you are so mean to me, I'm gonna go."

 

"We would have invited you for lunch but we have places to be."

 

"We do?" Natasha wondered out loud.

 

"We do," Carol confirmed, "I'll explain later."

 

"Okay then, have a lovely day," Mason said and stepped out of the trailer.

 

The couple watched him leave and Carol went back to the living room was he was gone. Natasha stared at her, waiting for her to explain what were their plans for the day.

 

"You're really making me ask?" she said as she joined Carol on the couch.

 

Carol remained silent for a few more seconds and then showed her phone to Natasha, "After you told me about the conversation you had with Dreykov, I did some research. I think he wasn't lying when he said that they buried your mom somewhere, I think I found it."

 

It was hard for Natasha to fight her emotion as she read the article that Carol found.

 

"This little town in the north east of Saint Petersburg has one of the oldest average age in the world and is known for having basically no kids living there. Some people even say it's cursed. I read that kids born there disappeared, that parents move before giving birth to their child because otherwise they are likely to lose them. I think that's where you were born, where you were taken."

 

Carol was excited by what she found, she wanted to show it all to Natasha but it was a lot for her, "Carol wait," she eventually breathed out and the blonde instantly stopped talking.

 

Natasha could feel that she needed air but she wasn't sure she could trust her legs to get her outside. Instead, she opened the window behind her and stuck her head out. Seeing her girlfriend's distress, Carol put her phone away and gently rubbed Natasha's back, "I'm sorry. I get carried away, I should have warned you."

 

"It's okay," Natasha managed to reply despite her soar throat, "So, y-you're saying you know where my-my mom was buried."

 

"Yeah, that was my point. I think only older people live there now, thus the high average age. Also, the population has decreased very fast, probably because the people were done watching their kids being taken away."

 

"You sure she is there?"

 

Carol shrugged, "I can't be a hundred percent certain, but I looked on Maps and found this," she unlocked her phone and showed Natasha a picture, "It's their cemetery, there's a pink blossom in the center of it."

 

Natasha suddenly stopped breathing and then exhaled a long sigh. This could be nothing, it could just be coincidences, but the eventuality that her mother was really buried there was enough for her.

 

"When can we go?"

 

Carol smiled, "I was thinking now."

 

Natasha was on her feet before Carol's sentence was finished. With the quinjet, they could get to that city in less than two hours, they could even come back to the trailer for dinner. The couple didn't waste time and got ready to go to Russia. Carol gave Liho some extra food in case they'd be gone for longer than a few hours while Natasha went to the jet.

 

Carol expected that she would pilot the jet, that way Natasha could prepare mentally to see her mother's grave but she took the pilot seat and didn't leave. She didn't even ask for the coordinates, she remembered them from what Carol showed her earlier. Carol stayed beside Natasha the whole time, talked to her but not about what was coming, she tried to distract her even though she knew it wouldn't work.

 

They landed after an hour and a half long flight, only two miles away from this little town, and went there on foot. Thanks to the informations that Carol gathered, they knew that the city was basically empty now, only a few dozens of people lived there. Most of the time they were all in their houses, not needing to go outside because they were growing vegetables and rearing chickens and goats in their gardens.

 

As expected, they didn't see anybody in the street, but they could feel that they were watched as they passed by some old houses. They crossed the entire town to finally get to the cemetery, and the first thing they saw there was the pink blossom, every single of its flowers fully bloomed.

 

This sight was enough for Natasha to let a single tear escape her eye. She let it roll down her cheek as she stood there, contemplating this magnificent tree, and then wiped it away as she and Carol walked inside.

 

Hand in hand, they looked for the grave of Natasha's mother. Carol let Natasha lead her, knowing her instinct would guide her to the right place, and it did. On the other side of the cemetery, right at the bottom of the pink blossom, they found a grave with this name written on it.

 

Natalia Romanova

 

There was no date of birth, only a date of death.

 

July 25th, 1989.

 

Natasha's mother almost lived an entire year after her daughter was taken. She looked for her for a year until she became too bothering for the Red Room. She lived alone for a whole year, without her husband and daughter, until these people took her life.

 

Realising all that overwhelmed Natasha within seconds, she instantly fell on her knees and broke into tears. Carol rushed to Natasha's side and held her against her chest, one hand running up and down her back while she stroked the other in her short blonde hair. Carol wished there was anything she could do to make Natasha feel better but she knew that, for the time being, the pain was too big and Natasha needed to let it out.

 

Not only Natasha was feeling sad and vulnerable, but she also felt weak. She could barely move, she couldn't even hold Carol or grab her shirt like she often did when she was crying in her arms, she didn't have any energy. Knowing that her mom did in fact look for her after she was taken, that she was killed to be silenced, was too painful for her. Deep down, she was hoping her parents moved on after they lost her, but how could a parent give up their kid.

 

Time became an estrange concept for Natasha. She felt like she had cried for hours when she stopped sobbing but Carol said it only lasted a few minutes. Natasha was still drained by all the emotions and, even if she wanted to stay longer, she knew they would have to leave soon so she could rest.

 

When she finally got on her feet – with the help of Carol – Natasha heard that they weren't alone in the cemetery anymore. She tried to not pay attention to them and allowed herself an extra minute to look at her mom's grave but she was disturbed.

 

"Oh, my lord," an old woman spoke in Russian, "you are the spitting image of your mother."

 

"You knew her?" Natasha asked, in English first and, when the lady didn't answer, she repeated herself in Russian.

 

"Yes, and you, little Natalia. I remember you walking around with a teddy bear and your mother running after you, she didn't like it when you were going on your little adventures," she told Natasha and laughed at the memories she had of her, "You know this tree was actually her favourite."

 

Natasha shared a gaze with Carol, who smiled because she understood what the woman said, even if her Russian was a little rusty. Before Natasha could ask questions to the lady, she spoke again, "I never thought I would see you there, after everything that happened."

 

The former redhead sighed, "I only found out recently about this place. Before, I thought my parents didn't even get buried, since they died in a fire."

 

"They didn't die in a fire," the lady assured and Natasha gasped, "But… I remember our house burning when I was taken away."

 

"Your house did burn but they weren't in it. The people who took you, they wanted your parents to leave the village so they burned down your house. But your mother stayed, she looked for you, so much that they had to silence her."

 

"What about my dad?"

 

"Ivan…" the woman muttered and Natasha felt like she got stabbed in the heart. She didn't remember her parents' name, discovering that she had the same name as her mom was already difficult for her, but hearing her dad's name was even worse. He had a beautiful name, she thought and then listened to the old lady again, "losing you was too much for him. He couldn't stay in the city, he had too many memories. You were his princess, the biggest achievement of his life, watching you being taken by them was the worst thing that happened to him."

 

All this informations were making Natasha feel dizzy, but she wanted to know more, "So, he left my mom here?"

 

"They both did what they needed to feel alive again, but it was never enough."

 

"If you don't mind me asking, how do you know all this?" Carol asked and looked at Natasha, hinting that she wanted her to translate even if could speak Russian.

 

After Natasha translated Carol's words, the old lady answered, "I have witnessed a few harvests in this town and, each time, the people were there to support those who lost their kids. Natalia and Ivan weren't the only ones to watch their kid being taken but they were the ones who took it the worst."

 

"I didn't even remember their names…" Natasha said and stepped closer to Carol, knowing she would steady her with her strong arms.

 

"But you remember them," the woman continued, "and they are with you everyday."

 

Natasha nodded as she held Carol's waist and then buried her face in the crook of her neck. She needed all the comfort Carol could give her, she looked for all these truths for a very long time and was relieved to finally get answers, but it was also extremely overwhelming. Carol was always there for Natasha when she needed her that way, she held her close and kissed her temple multiple times, until Natasha pulled out of the embrace.

 

"They would be glad to know that you are happy and you found someone," the woman commented, "they wanted you to find love and have a family."

 

Natasha slightly chuckled, "We are working on the family."

 

"You don't need kids to be a family, the two of you already form one."

 

"She is right," Carol murmured to her girlfriend's ear.

 

"They would have loved to have grandchildren though."

 

Natasha couldn't stop herself from grinning, she loved the idea of having kids and would have loved to give her grandchildren to her parents, she wished she could have. Melina and Alexei would be the lucky ones, but Natasha would never forget who gave life to her.

 

It was getting late in this time zone, meaning Carol and Natasha would have to leave soon or they would have to spend the night in the quinjet because they didn't want to fly by night. Natasha didn't necessarily want to go, she had millions of questions for this woman, but she knew it was safer if they went back to the trailer as soon as possible.

 

"Thank you for this," she told the old lady and offered her her hand.

 

The lady looked down at her hand, smiled and took Natasha into her arms. Natasha slightly gasped with surprise and then smiled as she enjoyed this warm hug.

 

"Come back whenever you want," the woman whispered, "this is your home."

 

"Thank you," Natasha replied and stepped out of the hug.

 

Before leaving, Carol shook the old woman's hand and then took Natasha's as they walked away.

 

This time, when they crossed this little town, Natasha and Carol saw some people outside of their houses, looking at them and smiling. They had recognised Natasha and knew why she was there, to visit her mother's grave, to get answers. She was probably the first kid taken by the Red Room who got to come back to the city she was born, but hopefully she wouldn't be the last now that it was over and that Yelena was going all over the world to free the last widows.

 

In the jet, Natasha gave the pilot seat to Carol and stood behind her during take off. Then, when Carol had set the autopilot, Natasha silently asked her to get up and wrapped her arms around her waist. They almost stood there for the whole flight, neither one of them wanting to be the one to break the embrace, too comfortable in each other's arms to want it.

 

The only reason why Carol went back to the pilot seat was because she had to manoeuvre for the landing. The second they were on the ground, she got back on her feet and took Natasha's hand as they walked in direction of the trailer.

 

"You seem pensive," Carol pointed out as she looked at her girlfriend, "what's on your mind?"

 

"You know what's today's date?"

 

Carol shrugged, "August something."

 

"The 7th."

 

"Oh… I didn't realise that, baby. I'm sorry."

 

"I didn't either… until a few minutes ago. It kinda feels like full circle, like… I can move on from all of this. The Red Room is gone, I know what happened to my parent, I have my family back, I have you and Liho… I think I am ready to move on."

 

"That's good to hear," Carol said and kissed Natasha's hairline, "Speaking of your family, you didn't tell me how it felt to see them again, especially Yelena."

 

Natasha sighed, "It was anticlimactic to be honest. When I imagined seeing her again, I thought it would be emotional, you know… like what one could expect of seeing their sister for the first time in twenty years but that's not what happened."

 

"You weren't sure you could trust her," Carol rightfully assumed.

 

"I wish I could have but, after all this time, I couldn't risk to give my trust too quickly."

 

Carol nodded as she unlocked the trailer's door, "I understand that."

 

"And, with Alexei and Melina, it was as disappointing. I mean, I didn't expect to see any of them but I still hoped it'd be better."

 

"I'm sure it will be very emotional when we see them again."

 

"When will that be?" Natasha said septically as she slouched on the couch.

 

"Whenever you want, I guess," Carol replied and sat beside Natasha, "Now that we have the quinjet, we can go anytime."

 

"Really?" Natasha asked with a disbelieving tone, the simple idea of seeing them again making her tear up.

 

"Of course, baby. It shouldn't be very risky for us if we meet somewhere safe. I know you've got loads of these on this planet."

 

Natasha let out a breathy chuckle as she dried her cheeks, "Yeah, I can find us somewhere to meet."

 

"Great. We can ask Rick to contact Yelena for us so we can organise that."

 

"Sounds good," Natasha breathed and pulled Carol into a hug, "You know, it's very weird to me that you call him Rick."

 

Carol laughed and pulled out, "Turns out he is a decent guy, so I call him by his name."

 

"Still weird," Natasha commented and yawned, "I think I need to rest after this."

 

"Yeah, sure. Go take a little nap, I'm gonna go outside with Liho."

 

Carol pressed a kiss on the top of Natasha's head and went to the bedroom, where Liho must have slept all day while they were away. There, she took her leash and slowly awakened the cat before bringing her outside.

 

The sun was starting to get low in the sky, it wasn't time for dinner yet but they were still in Finland, there the seasons weren't exactly the same as in the US. Carol quickly noticed as she walked Liho around the trailer that she was hungry, her stomach was starting to gurgle. After all, she and Natasha didn't eat lunch, they left before it was time for it and they didn't take any food in the jet.

 

Feeling that her body would soon beg for food, Carol shortened her stroll and went back to the trailer. She carefully opened the door and saw Natasha on the couch, fast asleep. She looked so peaceful, maybe going to this town and discovering all these things about her parents did help her.

 

Seeing Natasha like this, Carol decided that cooking would have to wait a little because she didn't want to wake her up. Instead of going back in the trailer, Carol stayed outside with Liho and let her wander around without the leash.

 

Meanwhile, Carol went through her phone, read some news and eventually ended up looking at the few contacts she had saved. She remembered doing it in Wakanda, she saved the most important people that she had in her own phone, including hers and Natasha's therapists.

 

They both hadn't talked to them in such a long time, months, and they might need to after everything that happened. For a few minutes, Carol wavered, her thumb hovered over the screen and suddenly, she called Dr. Wittayer.

 

Starting with Natasha's therapist was the easiest move for her, she had a lot to talk about with Dr. Odé but she wasn't sure she was ready for it. After the day they had, it was also a good idea to update her, what happened was an important moment in Natasha's life and for her healing process.

 

"Hello?"

 

Carol was a bit startled by the reply, "Dr. Wittayer, this is Carol Danvers."

 

"Carol! Haven't heard of you in a while, for obvious reasons. It's good to have you on the phone."

 

"Yeah, Natasha and I have been taking some time off… Like really off everything, but recently we started to work on ourselves again."

 

"That's good. It's important that you two maintain the work you've been doing so your couple can be healthy."

 

"I think we are doing good, really good actually… I called you today to inform you that Natasha and I went to her mother's grave and, there, we met a woman that knew her parents."

 

"Oh! That's quite an adventure. How did Natasha take this?"

 

"It was hard but I think she needed this. She said she was ready to move on, to finally forget about her past, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

 

"You think she isn't ready?"

 

"I don't know, honestly. This is something you have been work on with her so I thought that you could tell me if you think it's enough, or if maybe she needs more."

 

"I wish I could tell you, Carol, but I haven't seen Natasha in a while. Everything that happened while you two have been away must have changed her, even just a little, so I can't give you a straight answer. What I know, however, is that Natasha's biggest trauma is her kidnapping, the fire, her parents dying, her fear that the Red Room might still exist."

 

Carol slightly chuckled, "Well, turns out her parents didn't die in the fire and she took care of the Red Room so there is not much left."

 

"Well then, maybe she is ready to move on. But you have to keep an eye on her, always. If she does seem to be moving on, good, if you see any sign of depression, you call me."

 

"I'll do that. Thanks doc."

 

"What about you? Have you been talking to you therapist?"

 

Carol felt her throat tightening, "Um… No. She is my next call, actually. I have a lot to talk about so I though I'd call you first, and then dive into the hard stuff."

 

"Yeah, you should do that. I mean, I don't know much about what happened, but I know that you were at a rough point last time I saw Natasha."

 

"Our argument… yeah, that wasn't my best day."

 

"That's okay. You can have lows, you can fight sometimes, as long as you talk it out afterwards. Since I didn't get any other call from Natasha telling me she needed me ASAP, I assumed you two sorted it out."

 

"We did. I think we are better for each other now."

 

"Good to know."

 

A silence followed, silence that meant it was time for her to call Dr. Odé, but Carol dreaded this call a lot. After a long sighed, Carol spoke up, "Okay… I think it's time for me to call my own therapist now."

 

"I agree," Dr. Wittayer said and paused to let Carol add something if she wanted to. When she didn't, she continued, "Whatever you have to tell her, I'm sure it'll be okay, you can work things out with her and Natasha."

 

"I hope you're right."

 

"Me too. Goodbye Carol, and try to convince Natasha to call me, it'd be good if I could chat directly with her."

 

"Will do. Bye doc."

 

After hanging up the call, Carol exhaled a long breath as she prepared herself for what was next. She had been doing some thinking of her own in the last few weeks, tried to understand her recent moods and behaviours, but so far she couldn't tell what was affecting her so bad. Calling her therapist was the best move but she was scared to face the truth, or rather, she was scared of what the truth could be.

 

She took a minute to get mentally ready for a call that would most likely end up with her crying, checked if Liho wasn't gone too far and then called Dr. Odé.

 

Deep down, Carol only had one wish, that her therapist was not near or phone or not working. Carol turned on the speaker phone and put the phone on her lap as she almost prayed, "Don't pick up. Don't pick up. Don't pick up-"

 

"Hello?" Answered Dr. Odé with a confused tone.

 

"Shit," Carol cursed under her breath and then spoke with a forced joyful tone, "Hi! Dr. Odé, it's Carol."

 

"Oh, my God! Carol! I'm so glad to hear from you!"

 

"You should shout louder, I think the people that are after me and Natasha didn't hear you," Carol deadpanned.

 

"Technically you are not wanted."

 

"But my girlfriend is and I happen to be with her."

 

"Alright, alright! I was in my office anyway, I doubt anybody can hear me," The doc said and paused but Carol kept silent so she continued, "So, I assume you have a good reason to call. I know you wouldn't take the risk if you had nothing to tell me."

 

"That's kind of the problem… I have a lot to say."

 

"Well, I'm listening."

 

Carol scratched the back of her neck as she thought about how she could express how she felt. After a few seconds and a sigh, she began, "I think I completely lost my self confidence, like I don't have any of it left. I'm scared to use my powers, I feel useless… I feel like everything I do is wrong."

 

"When did you start feeling that way."

 

"In Germany, after Tony said he considered me and Wanda as weapons."

 

"Well, that sounds like a good reason to feel like this."

 

Simply thinking about the conversation she had with Tony sent shivers through Carol's whole body. She hated everything about what happened that day – especially this moment – and she wanted to stop being impacted so much by it but she didn't know how to make it stop, "I don't understand what's happening to me. When I was in space, I was so confident, I knew nobody could defeat me, but on Earth I feel like I'm this child, verbally abused by her father again."

 

"The way Tony talked to you made you think of your dad?"

 

"In a way, yes. He reduced me to something I'm not, like my dad used to do. And he was so loud, like him."

 

"I see."

 

A silence followed the doctor's words, silence that Carol wasn't used to with her, "Doc?"

 

"Um?"

 

"Usually when you say that, you tell me something very insightful and it helps a lot."

 

Carol could hear a light chuckle coming from her therapist's mouth, she was probably amused that her patient knew her that well, "Your issues with self confidence have always been about your dad, we both know that. The more you are reminded of him, the more you lose your confidence. Now, I don't think that your lack of confidence and the fact that you are scared of using your powers are related."

 

"So why would I feel that way?"

 

"Because of what Tony said. The way he said it is the source of you loss of confidence because it reminded you of your dad but the content makes you scared, because you don't want to hurt people, and that's what weapons do."

 

Just has the doctor ended her sentence, Carol heard the door of the trailer opening and, when she looked back, she saw Natasha with concerned eyes. Silently, she sat behind Carol and kissed her temple as she pulled her towards her chest.

 

Already emotional because of what Dr. Odé said, Carol couldn't stop a few tears from running down her cheeks.

 

"You're probably right," she eventually muttered, her voice shaking.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

"I am…" Carol sighed and leaned into Natasha's embrace, "very insightful again doc."

 

"That's my job."

 

"I think I need to take some time to think about what you said."

 

"Good idea. You know you can call me whenever you need."

 

"I will. Goodbye doc."

 

"Goodbye Carol."

 

This time, when the call was hung up, Carol let out a sigh of relief. She knew that talking to her therapist would help, that it would give her answers and that, with them, she would be able to work on herself. Now that she had Dr. Odé's point of view on her situation, she knew how she could try to get better and hopefully heal.

 

After a couple minutes of silent hugging, Natasha slightly cleared her throat and said, "You never told me about your daddy issues."

 

Completely shocked, Carol looked back at her girlfriend and replied, "Fuck you, Natasha."

 

The redhead laughed but she could tell her comment had not been taken as a joke, "Alright, okay, jokes aside. I knew he was a bad father but you never told me he was the reason why you had confidence issues."

 

"Well… I didn't really want to complain about my parents to you, you've had it worst than me."

 

"Carol, there is no trauma contest. Trauma is trauma, it's complex and dealing with it is tricky. No matter where it comes from or why it affects you."

 

"I know."

 

"And I know that you know, that's why I don't understand why you didn't tell me."

 

"Because I'm ashamed of it… I hate that my father still has power over me."

 

"Oh, baby…" Natasha whispered and hugged Carol tighter.

 

"We had so much going on, I didn't take care of myself and I let it affect me…" Carol told her and pulled out so she could see Natasha, "Before Maria died, I was handling it but now I'm back to where I was when I was twenty years old."

 

"And that's okay, my love. We can work on it together, as a team," Carol nodded, "I'm proud of you Carol," Natasha added and cupped Carol's cheeks, "I know it can be hard for you to talk about your traumas but you do it so well now."

 

"Can we start working on it tomorrow? Today drained all my energy."

 

"Of course. For now, I'm gonna take care of you, make you something nice for dinner, a little back massage maybe?" Carol already hummed in anticipation, "and then a lot of cuddles before bed."

 

After an excited nod, Carol got up and helped Natasha on her feet, "Sounds great," she murmured to the love of her life and kissed her lips.

Chapter 64: Letters

Notes:

a different form of chapter with letters from the Avengers to Carol and Natasha and vice-versa, i hope you'll enjoy them

Chapter Text

Nat, Carol

 

I have to admit, not having you around feels weird, it's like something's missing. We lost our leaders by losing the two of you, we lost our trainers, our friends, nothing is the same since you left.

 

Considering what you left for us, we are basically done with training, now we just lack the experience and it might be hard to get…

It's been three months and we've never been contacted by the UN, which is a good thing for the planet but it kinda makes me feel useless, like I trained for nothing. Even in the US, we have nothing to do, we don't know what to work on because S.H.I.E.L.D is still taking all the cases and isn't sending us the infos.

 

I'm gonna stop talking about bad things now, it's depressing.

 

The case against the cop that killed Maria is going well. Monica called me the other day and said that his colleagues were turning their backs on him because they didn't want to be fired or go to jail. They should still be suspended though, for a while. As for him, the lawyer said he could get a very long sentence because of his colleagues' testimonies so that's quite a good news.

 

Sarah sent me pictures of the house, she finally got to move in with my nephews and I think they will love the place. She told me that she didn't feel like making too many changes in it, she hopes she can have you and Monica there and thinks it would be hard for you if it was too different. I think it would be worse if it's the same, but maybe I'm wrong. I'll try to talk to Monica about it when I'll see her.

 

And yes, we are talking regularly. She is really nice and smart. I like her a lot, I hope that's not a problem.

 

I could keep writing, I could tell you useless stuff but I'm guessing you have many other letters so I'm gonna stop there.

 

I know you do it already but I have to say it, take care of each other, and of yourselves.

 

Can't wait to see you again,

Love,

Sam.

 


 

Dear Natasha,

 

I hope you are okay, I hope you and Carol are reunited and somewhere safe.

 

Here, everything is okay, basically.

Training is over, it felt weird to finish it without you. You promised me a day off in New York to go shopping when we would officially be Avengers and I was really looking forward to it, to spend time with you.

 

The truth is that not everything is fine.

I miss you and Carol a lot. Now that Maria is gone too, I am the only woman in the compound and it can be hard. Vision and Pietro try to cheer me up but there are things that they can't understand, things that only you can understand.

 

I wish I could call you, just to have a little chat, to hear your advice, but I know it wouldn't be safe for you.

Sometimes, I want to call Laura but I really don't want to annoy her with my problems, she already has so much to deal with on her side. I guess you do too…

 

Anyway, I can't wait to see you again, I really need it.

Take care of yourself,

Wanda.

 


 

I don't really know how to this but here I go.

 

Carol

Natasha

 

I was sad that you weren't there for our last training. I never said it but I was happy when you said you were proud of the progress I made, it made me feel valuable. We celebrated with the team but it was not like I imagined it, I always thought it would be all of us but you were missing, the heart of the team was missing.

I really hate that you can't be here, it's not fair, you brought the real bad guy to justice and you are paying for it. I wish I could have helped you with this whole thing, Wanda and I wanted to come but Stark ordered us to stay, we didn't even get the chance to argue. I felt like I was a child and I hated it, you guys treated us well but he is not like that, he is rude and selfish, everything that I despise.

 

On the better side of things, I think Wanda and I are doing good. We've talked more, about feelings and stuff, and it was really helpful for us to understand the other better. She still looks sad most of the time but I think that's because she misses you guys. Vision and I are still not friends but I manage to bear their presence more, even though sometimes I wish I could turn them off for the day.

I think Wanda really likes him so I want to make efforts but it is hard. Also, I realised that I might be a bit jealous that she found someone that she likes that way and I didn't, I want that too.

I can already hear Carol saying that if I want to meet people, I just have to go out. I will think about it but it will not be what you would expect of going out.

 

Wanda saw my letter and said it was too long so I am going to stop telling you my whole life now.

 

I don't really know what people say at the end of letters but here is what I want to tell you.

 

I hope I will see you soon and I think everyday about you, especially when I run alone in the morning.

 

I wish you the best, wherever you are, I'm sure you are taking care of each other.

 

Pietro.

 


 

Dear Natasha,

 

God, I hate that I have to write you a secret letter that will be sent to a secret location because you have to hide. It was hard for me but I eventually put myself at your place and realised that, if it had been me and Pepper, I would have taken the blame in a heartbeat, so I understand what you did now.

 

Speaking of Pepper… Well, it's hard to admit but we took a break and I don't know when, or if, I'll get her back. She needed time away from me to think about what she wants for her life, and if she wants me in it, which is very difficult to endure. I wish you could be there and give me your insight on women like you've done before, Rhodey might be my best friend but, in this department, you are way better than he is.

 

In a way, you are my best friend too. Female best friend. Or maybe you were. I don't really know what we are anymore. We've never talked about how we feel for one another and I think it's a shame. We are grown adults, we should be capable of expressing our feeling freely, I want to do that now, starting with you, and hopefully later with Pepper.

 

You, Natasha Romanoff, are one of my longest friendships, and one of the bests too. You know when to annoy me and when to leave me alone, which was not given to everybody, like Carol for example.

 

God, Carol… I have to write her a letter too and apologise for what I said. I suppose she told you… I really hate that I said that. I don't think it, never did, I guess I expressed myself the wrong way. There is no point for me to explain it to you, Carol will tell you what I said in her letter so I shall save some ink.

 

I really want to talk more with you but I prefer when the interlocutor is physically present.

 

I hope you are taking care of yourself, and if you aren't, I will kick your ass.

 

Love,

Tony.

 


 

Carol,

 

I think that the first thing I should do is apologising, I owe it to you.

 

I am so sorry for what I said and how things went down. I know that it's not an excuse but I was scared of what could happen to us if you kept going against Ross' orders and my fears turned into the wrong words.

 

When I said that you were weapons, I meant that people could use you (and Wanda) as such, like Ultron tried to do with the twins and like the Kree did to you. With the Accords, we are one step closer to that and I cannot accept it, I can't watch you become one of their tools. Obviously, you could just leave the planet if that happened but I know you don't want that so, while you are still working as an Avenger, you have to follow the rules if you wanna be able to stay on Earth.

 

I know it sucks but the alternative is far worse. I can't imagine a world without you as a hero in it and, even if I know it will happen eventually, I'd rather that you have the opportunity to choose when you quit instead of being forced to.

 

As for Barnes, I am not upset that he survived, not anymore. I don't know where you took him but I hope it's somewhere he can get help and be freed of the mind control he endured for so long.

I know, it's odd to read these words coming from me but it's the truth, I really do believe he deserves a second chance, like we were all given one.

 

You must wonder how I could change my views so fast. Well, I had a lot of time to think recently, no avenging work and no girlfriend to go back to… As you know, Pepper and I are on a break, so I try to use my time to become a better man for her.

 

I really envy you and Natasha. You seem to have a perfect relationship, although I suppose you also have your lows, but you still are a model to me. I probably have some things to learn from you and I hope I can see you again some days to do so.

 

I wish you the very best for the future,

 

Tony.

 


 

Dear Wanda,

 

I am glad you wrote to me, I wanted to hear how you've been doing.

 

I'm very sorry that I wasn't there for the end of your training. I wish I could have been, I really wanted to take you shopping and I plan to do it one day but I had to protect Carol from herself.

 

I know that you didn't get a lot of information on what happened, I hope that you at least got to talk with Sam, to hear what he knew of it. If you didn't, please ask him.

Anyway, I made that choice knowingly, I stand by it and I don't regret it. However, I am sorry that it affected you that way, that it made you lose your bearings. You should definitely call Laura if you feel that it would help you, she really likes you and would be happy to help, I assure you. Also, I know it's not your favourite thing to do but you should also talk about this to your therapist, she is great when it comes to this kind of thing.

 

I can't promise you that we will see each other again soon but Carol and I will try to make something happen. Don't tell the others, it's not sure so I don't want them or you to get their hopes up.

 

Here, we are having a good time, chilling mostly. The truth is that we are living our best lives, not having all these responsibilities really is a relief. I know Carol and I rarely talked about this with you but we've been training you guys so we could retire and this 'break' really confirmed to us that it was what we wanted.

We don't feel like now is the right time to fully quit though. We've discussed it and we both feel like we haven't reached the end of our lives as heroes. We don't know what it means exactly but we are sure that, when the end will come, we will know it.

This means we will still fight bad guys with you and the team, at least for a bit before leaving.

 

After that, we will probably settle down, get a house and enter the process of adoption, watch your success on TV and smile at the memories we have. Just thinking about it makes me grin, I really can't wait for this new life to start.

 

I'm realising that I've been rambling, sorry about that.

 

Take good care of yourself Wanda and, please, allow the people that are willing to help you to do so.

 

Lots of love,

Natasha.

 


 

Sammy! God we miss you so much!

 

(Natasha said I should clarify that it's me writing, don't know why but whatever)

 

I'm really sorry that we couldn't be there for the end of your training and I promise you we will make it up to all of you when we can. I know how it feels to have nothing to do, nobody to protect, it's not good but it gives you time to think about who you are beside the hero and that's an important thing to do. Try to do that.

 

Thank you for the update on the case, I really needed to know how it was going. You can't imagine how great it feels to read that this asshole will go to jail, hopefully until the rest of his life, I just wish it was enough to stop the pain…

I'm not gonna go down the emotional road, I've done it too much already.

 

I'm glad you and Monica kept in touch, she needs support and the more the better. And no, I don't mind that you like her, I even think it's a good thing for you both.

Also, I agree about the house. Coming in it to see that it's the same would hurt, it would bring back too many memories…

 

Natasha and I will soon contact you to give you a location where we can meet, so be ready to pack for a few days trip!

 

Until then, take good care of yourself Sam,

 

Lots of love from the both of us,

 

Carol and Natasha.

 


 

Dear Tony,

 

Carol and I are lacking envelops so we will both write on the same letter.

 

I was very sorry to hear that you and Pepper were on a break. She called me the day it happened, she was devastated but at the same time she knew she needed it so she was hopeful for the future. I know it must be hard for you but I'm sure you two will be back together soon, just let her process what she needs to process and be there when she will want to see you.

 

Reading that you consider me one of your best friends made me very emotional, I didn't expect these kind words from you. Since I lost Clint, you are the man I've rely on the most and you did quite a good job when I needed you. I know it might seem like it was nothing because most of the time I go to Carol when I feel down but our talks really mattered to me, and I'm glad they mattered to you too.

 

I can't make this too long unfortunately.

 

Can't wait to be able to see you again,

 

Love,

Natasha.

 

 

Tony,

 

I don't really know what to say. I never thought you would be sorry for what you said after everything that happened but I'm glad you do and I accept your apology.

 

I have to say that you are quite right in a way, we could be used as weapon, and not only Wanda and I. Hopefully, with Maria having a seat at the panel, that won't happen, but I still understand your worries.

 

You are also right about me having a choice to quit, it would definitely be better than having to fly away, especially for Natasha. I can never ask her to leave Earth for me, even if I know she would say yes, I can't. Adapting to a new civilisation is too difficult, I don't think I really did it so I won't impose that on her, which means we have to be able to stay there.

 

I am glad you are using the time you have to reflect on the person you are, I recently got to do it too and I realised that I really needed it.

Even if the reason why you get all this time sucks, try to use it wisely, it can only make you stronger.

 

For the time being, Natasha and I will not take the risk to travel too much so we will have to wait to see each other again. Just know that I really want to, I want to fix everything with you because you are important to me, Tony.

 

Shit, I took too much time to write this, Natasha has to go post it now.

 

Until next time,

Carol.

Chapter 65: Wakanda

Chapter Text

After an unfortunate encounter, the couple had to leave the trailer in a hurry because someone recognised – despite the new hair – Natasha and signalled to the cops where she was. It happened just when they had organised a trip to Wakanda where they would meet up with Sam, and Bucky who was now awake.

 

Since they left a day sooner than initially planned, they went to New York with their invisible Quinjet. The fact that Sam had a suit with wings was quite practical, they could hover outside of the American territory while Sam would fly to their location.

 

They were surprised to see him with a large duffel bag when he landed inside, "You know you are only staying three days, right?" Carol said to him as she greeted him with a warm hug.

 

"I know but I got some of your stuff too," he replied and then hugged Natasha, "Wow man, it feels like I haven't seen the two of you in years," he added as he stepped out of the embrace and looked at Natasha with a smirk, "especially you, blondie."

 

Natasha scoffed, "Well, when you are on the run you do what you can to not be unrecognisable."

 

"Didn't work so well though…" Sam pointed out and both Natasha and Carol shrugged, "Damn, if I was on the run I would have to grow my hair out," he continued to try and lighten the mood.

 

"I'm sure you'd look great with long hair," Carol said with a serious tone but an amused facial expression.

 

"I assure you I don't. I'll show you pictures of my younger self with long hair one day, you'll see, it wasn't pretty."

 

As they kept the conversation going, Carol set the coordinates in the jet and turned on the autopilot. Sam got a warm reunion with Liho that he had not seen for almost six months now. He told the couple the latest news on Wanda's and Vision's relationship and informed them that Pietro wanted to move out of the compound because he needed independence.

 

Carol was not surprised to hear that, she knew Pietro had a hard time adjusting to his new environment and he also wanted to discover who he was without his twin sister around. Wanda was already on the self discovering journey without exactly realising it, the way her relationship with Vision was evolving showed that she was becoming an adult according to Natasha.

 

As for the team, they had finally had their first intervention. Nothing big, they were asked to ensure the security in a feminist protest, and by that it meant that they ensured the protester against possible police violence. It all went well thanks to their presence and they were hoping they would be asked to do this more regularly.

 

This story made Carol sad, even if she was glad that everything went well. She just wished that Maria had been protected like this when she went marching, maybe if the Avengers had been there, she would still be alive. Natasha instantly noticed the change of mood in her girlfriend and comforted her with a gentle hug.

 

For the rest of the flight, they put on some music and the couple danced while Sam was piloting. It became a ritual for them to dance, some times frenetically, some times slowly, depending on their mood of the day. After one slow dance that Carol really needed, they put on some upbeat music and all danced together, even Liho and Sam.

 

They were disappointed when they had to stop because they were close to landing in Wakanda. But disappointment turned into excitement when they all stepped out of the jet and saw Bucky waiting for them.

 

"Bird guy!" he exclaimed as Saw was the first to exit, "Didn't know you were coming."

 

Sam groaned, which made Bucky smile.

 

"James! You look great! It's good to see you," Carol said and gave him a hug.

 

"You too," he replied and pulled out, "And I already told you, it's Bucky."

 

"Yeah, right, Bucky. It might take a while to get used to it."

 

"Natasha, right? It's nice to finally meet you for real. Sorry for the, you know…" Bucky said and pointed at the shoulder he once shot.

 

"There's this one too," Natasha replied and showed him the scar she had on her belly.

 

Bucky grimaced, "Ouch… sorry for that too."

 

Natasha let out a laughter, "Don't worry, I know how it feels to be controlled."

 

"Speaking of which, are you… um, fixed?" Carol asked carefully.

 

"Shuri did stuff with my brain, I don't understand it all but she thinks I should be fine. We are going to do a test in a few days to make sure that it worked."

 

"Good to hear."

 

"Why haven't you tried already?" Sam wondered.

 

"Sam!" Carol exclaimed, knowing it was a sensitive subject for Bucky.

 

"What? I'm just askin'."

 

"I just… don't feel ready yet."

 

"Sounds like a good reason to me," says a voice from behind the group, "Welcome to Wakanda. For those who don't know me, I am Ayo. The King asked me to show you to your rooms."

 

"Actually, Natasha and I can get there on our own," Carol said and shook Ayo's hand before heading back to the jet to get hers and Natasha's belongings.

 

"Well then, bird guy, follow me."

 

"You told her about me?"

 

"Bye," Bucky said with a smirk as he waved his hand.

 

"Wakanda really changed you," Natasha noted as they joined Carol in the quinjet.

 

"Freedom changed me, actually. I know that I don't risk to be used here, they let me do what I want so I'm rearing goats, it's great."

 

"Goats, huh? You'll have to show them to us when we'll be done," Carol told him.

 

Bucky smiled and took one of Carol's bags, "Of course, come to my room and I'll get you to them. I'll show you which one it is on the way."

 

Thanks to his help, they got all of the couple's stuff in on go. When Natasha freed Liho, she quickly found her old habits back and went to the armchair. After Bucky put the bags he carried beside the bed, he went to the corridor and pointed at the door at the end of it, "That's my room, I'll be there if you want to go see my goats."

 

"We will be there shortly," Carol said and winked before letting him go.

 

As Carol closed the door, she heard Natasha cooing and turned to see her playing with Liho and a little piece of plastic. Grinning, Carol joined them and squatted down beside Natasha, enjoying the moment as she held Natasha's waist.

 

Seeing Natasha this happy made her think about the future, their future. She couldn't wait to have a house with Natasha, more cats, a dog maybe, and kids of course. There was nothing she wanted more than having this life they promised to each other, but she knew now was not the time to start it. And, if she really wanted to start it, they would have to make a decision about the whole turning Natasha Kree thing, or rather Natasha had to decide if she wanted it or not.

 

When Liho was bored of playing, the couple sat on the couch and Carol spoke about that matter, "I can't wait for you to meet Shuri. You'll see, she is a genius, the smartest person I know and I'm sure she can make you Kree in no time."

 

Natasha sighed, "Carol, I thought we said we would take time to think about this."

 

"Well, we can talk now, can't we?"

 

"We can, but every time you mention it I feel like I have no choice."

 

"Of course you have a choice, Natasha. I would never force into anything, I just think tha-"

 

"Did you think about our kids?" Natasha asked as she got up and put her hands on her waist, "If we do this, we will outlive our kids, we will have to watch them die."

 

"I will have to do that anyway," Carol pointed out as she joined Natasha and carefully took her hands, "I've already lived twenty five years that way and it can't be undone. I know it will be hard but at least we'll be together. I couldn't handle that on my own, watching you and our kids getting older and dying. I know it's a weird invitation but it means we're together until the end, and honestly I think that's beautiful."

 

"I need to think about this," Natasha muttered and looked up, "Can I think about it?"

 

"Of course, you don't have to rush your decision, we have time," Carol told her and pulled her into a hug, "I don't wanna fight about this."

 

"I don't wanna fight either… I love you."

 

Carol hugged Natasha tighter, "I love you, too," she whispered and pressed a kiss on her temple, "Shall we see Bucky's goats?"

 

After a nod that only Carol could detect, the superheroes said goodbye to their pet and went to the door. Before they could exit, they heard a fast knock and Sam opened the door, "Ah! There you are! I kind of got lost in the hallway but here I am."

 

"You want to see Bucky and his goats?" Natasha asked, surprised that Sam would want to spend time with Bucky.

 

"I do. I want to take every opportunity that I have to annoy this man."

 

Natasha and Carol both scoffed, amused by this man's childish ideas to get revenge for a funny nickname. Without commenting on his behaviour, the three of them went to Bucky's room and the couple let Sam knocking.

 

"James Buchanan Barnes, you are under arrest for being the Winter Soldier!" he yelled with a proud smile on his lips.

 

"Ha, ha, very funny," Bucky said as he opened the door, "How can you guys be friend with him?"

 

"I ask myself the same question very often," Carol replied, "He has his days," Natasha added.

 

"Alright, I see you two are teaming up with him. It's cool, one versus three, I like challenges."

 

Bucky sighed, "He never shuts up, does he?"

 

"Nope, that's not something he does."

 

As they chattered, Bucky lead them to the outside of the city, where it looked like what every person on Earth thought Wakanda was like. After twenty minutes of walking, they arrived at a little shed in which were the goats.

 

"Oh, my God! Babe, look at them!" Carol shouted excitedly and then let go of Natasha's hand to rush to the goats.

 

Natasha laughed as she observed her girlfriend saying hello to the fourteen goats in the shed. Then, Bucky arrived and opened the gate so they could walk around freely and eat some grass. Natasha could tell Bucky was genuinely happy around these goats, he named every single one of them and was proud to tell them.

 

The four of them stood there and watch the goats eating. Carol and Natasha really enjoyed the atmosphere, it was quiet, peaceful, and they could tell it had a good effect on James too. Sam however didn't much like the silence, it always felt awkward to him when nobody was talking, that's why he was doing it himself most of the time.

 

After a minute of stopping himself from saying something stupid, Sam cleared his throat, "So, you were Captain America's best friend."

 

Bucky chuckled, "I was more Steve Rogers' best friend than Captain America's. The 5'4 guy I knew, the clumsy boy from Brooklyn, that's my best friend. I never saw him differently after he got the serum… and I didn't get the chance to see him much anyway."

 

"You know that he-" Sam began and was stopped by Bucky, "I do, yeah. I did some research when I went back to my right mind after I escaped. I looked for informations on all my family members, and Steve."

 

"So you know that your sister is still alive?" Carol asked.

 

"I saw her. I didn't talk to her but I saw her in the park with her grandchildren. I'm glad she got the life she wanted."

 

"Why didn't you go talk to her?" Natasha wondered.

 

Bucky smiled, "It was hard not to, but I just couldn't. She moved on, she built a wonderful family, got three amazing children and has five grandchildren, I can't just step in and destroy her world."

 

"Who says it would destroy it."

 

"How would it feel if someone you lost a long time ago came back out of nowhere?" Bucky rhetorically asked and received an absence of answer, "That's what I thought, bird guy, it would destroy you."

 

Sam sighed, "I guess you're right. I could ask you guys for confirmation but I'm sure you'd agree."

 

"It depends actually," Carol told him and sat down on the grass, "If you meant that seeing Natasha again after I'd thought she died than I disagree. I think that getting her back would be the best thing that could happen to me."

 

"I agree," Natasha said and sat beside Carol, resting her head on her shoulder.

 

"If we are talking about Maria, however, I think it would destroy me, because she was my best friend and I saw her die."

 

"Same with Clint."

 

Sam hummed as he rubbed her chin, "What about you, James?"

 

"Actually I think I would feel more like Carol and Natasha."

 

"I was trying to prove a point about best friends but I guess it-" Sam started and suddenly realised something, "oh… are you saying that you were…"

 

"Yeah," was Bucky's answer.

 

"Wait like dating?" Carol asked, she didn't quite understand the conversation that Sam and Bucky just had with eye contacts.

 

"No, we weren't. But I, well… I was in love with him."

 

"Did he know?" Natasha questioned.

 

Bucky shook his head, "I never could gather the strength to tell him. I wanted to, after the war, but it didn't go as planned."

 

"Sorry man, that must have been hard," Sam told Bucky and joined the girls on the grass, "This country is really great. I wish I could stay here longer."

 

"Oh, my God, speaking of which," Carol said excitedly and handed Sam a phone, "This was in our room, Shuri gave this for you. It's a phone like the one T'Challa gave me, that way we can call each other without any risk."

 

"Damn, thanks," Sam exclaimed as he analysed this brand new phone, "Not that I don't like letters but I rather hear your voice and talk instantaneously."

 

"Well, we can't really go back to the letter box Mason got for us anyway so we will only communicate through these now," Natasha told him, "which means that you've got to share a little bit, although you are responsible for it."

 

"It means calls for emergencies only," Carol clarified, "texts we can get but calls not all the time, okay?"

 

Sam groaned, "You became annoying since you're on the run."

 

"Isn't Carol always annoying?" Bucky asked and received a punch in his right arm, "case in point."

 

"I think out of the two of us, she is the less annoying one, during training at least," Natasha said to defend her girlfriend.

 

"It is true that you were rough on us during training. Carol was shouting a lot but the real torture came from you."

 

"What did you train them for?" asked Bucky.

 

"To become Avengers," Natasha replied, "Spying, fighting, they have to be the best at all of it."

 

"Plus Sam had another training," Carol added and smirked, "if he ever feels ready."

 

Bucky glanced at Sam "What training, bird guy?" Sam groaned, he hated this nickname, "come on, I'm sure it's not that embarrassing."

 

"S.H.I.E.L.D got something from Steve's… corpse. There was his shield, his Captain America shield, and Carol thinks I should take on the mantle."

 

"That doesn't sound stupid at all," Bucky muttered but they all heard him.

 

"You think?" Carol asked, genuinely waiting for his point of view.

 

Bucky shrugged, "Yeah. Sam seems to be a good guy from what I've seen. Steve would have liked you and he definitely would have given you his shield if you think you are ready to carry it."

 

"Well, that's the thing, I don't think I am ready."

 

"Doesn't have to be now, does it?"

 

"Yeah, I guess so."

 

They all kept silent after that. Maybe Sam realised that it wasn't so bad to shut up some times, it was better than talking about his feelings anyway. For Natasha, after spending six months in Finland, it was almost estrange to feel the warmth of the sun of her naked arms and face, she was so used of the cold. The best was that the sun wouldn't set until a few hours, so they could stay out there and make the best of the afternoon.

 

Carol could tell that all this sunlight had a positive impact on her girlfriend, she could feel her happiness and shared it with her as much as possible.

 

After a few minutes, Natasha whispered to Carol, "We could go get Liho and have a walk around here."

 

Carol looked at her girlfriend and couldn't stop herself from smiling, "Let's do that."

 

"Guys, we're gonna go," Natasha said as she stood up and then helped Carol on her feet, "you won't kill each other, right?"

 

"We'll be fine," Bucky assured, "actually I think I have some convincing to do with him."

 

"Convincing about what?"

 

Bucky scoffed, "What do you think? You becoming Captain America of course."

 

Seeing how this conversation started, Carol and Natasha quickly left to not be witness of a murder. As they walked back to their room, they shared their thoughts on the two guys' behaviour towards the other, and they were sure they would become friends eventually. They would be the kind of friends that tease each other all the time, the friends that you hate but that you love so much at the same time because you can see they care about each other.

 

They were a lot like Carol and Natasha in a way, Sam was the full of energy one, the friend you know will make you laugh, and Bucky was the calm but fun in his own way friend, like Natasha can be, someone that listen well, don't talk much but always has great advices and find the perfect tease.

 

Back in their room, Natasha and Carol realised that maybe walking Liho was not the best idea because, before getting to the green plains, they had to go through the loud city and they knew Liho didn't like that. Instead, they would go to the castle's garden but not today, they had things to think about first.

 

Since they blew their cover in Finland, they had to find another safe place to stay. Carol knew that T'Challa was totally fine with them staying in Wakanda and she told Natasha but they both felt like it would be overstepping their welcome. They thought that T'Challa might know somewhere they could go, and they asked to see him so they could discuss it further.

 

The couple spent the rest of the afternoon in their room, putting their clothes in the dressing room and other stuff where it belonged. Knowing T'Challa was a busy man, and therefore that they might not be able to see him today, Carol and Natasha asked if they could bring their dinner to their room. The man who spoke to them said it would be brought to them but they followed him to the kitchen and took them themselves, they didn't want to be spoiled and treated like they were superior, they were just guests.

 

Natasha discovered with pleasure the Wakandan cuisine, it was the opposite of what she got used to eat in Finland. After this lovely dinner, Carol and Natasha allowed themselves some 'them time' and took a very long bath with soft music playing in the background. When they got out of the bathroom, Liho was waiting for them at the door with her little eyes begging for cuddles.

 

Carol and Natasha couldn't resist her and took her to the couch where they sat together and put the cat on both their laps. While Natasha was scratching Liho's belly, Carol was reading a book out loud.

 

After half an hour, they heard a knock on their door. Being both stuck under their cat, Carol shouted, "Enter."

 

"I heard you wanted to see me," T'Challa said as he walked in.

 

"T'Challa! Yes, we have something to ask you," Carol said as she invited him to sit on the armchair before her and Natasha.

 

"What is it?"

 

Natasha cleared her throat, "Well… despite all our efforts to stay hidden in Finland, somebody saw me and recognised me."

 

"So, we had to leave in a hurry and we only have this safe place available," Carol added.

 

"Now, we know you said we could stay here for a bit but we still wanted to ask-"

 

"I didn't say a bit, I said as much as you needed to."

 

"Really," the couple exclaimed at the same time.

 

"Yes. It would be my great honour to have you here. Plus, I'm sure that James would love to have your company. He does love his goats but he likes to be around people too, or so I observed, but only with people he is comfortable with and that is my sister and the two of you."

 

"Thank you so much, T'Challa. It's an honour for us to be able to live here."

 

"It's my pleasure, really," T'Challa told them and got up, "I would love to chat more but I have important business to attend to. You two have a nice evening."

 

"You too, T'Challa," Natasha said as a goodbye while Carol waved.

 

When the King of Wakanda was gone, Natasha and Carol shared a gaze and jumped into each other's arms, giggling, "We've got our new home," Carol said in the embrace.

 

Natasha pulled out and smiled, "We've got our new home," she whispered and kissed Carol.

Chapter 66: A new year

Chapter Text

Natasha and Carol had not planned to extend their trip in Wakanda until the New Year, even after T'Challa told them they could stay for as long as they wanted, but it was so much fun to be around Bucky, T'Challa and Shuri that they postponed their departure several times.

 

They had found – thanks to Yelena – a safe house in Canada, but the idea of going back to a cold weather wasn't very appealing. The plan was to finally go there at the end of winter and meet up with Natasha's whole family, but the couple might delay the trip again, although Natasha really missed them.

 

Since Christmas was not a Wakandan tradition, Carol, Bucky and Natasha celebrated it together in the little house Bucky had now outside of the Wakandan capital city. No present were offered this time but promises were made. Bucky promised he would let Ayo test him very soon, he just needed a bit more time to be ready to hear his trigger words. Carol and Natasha promised they would get him a cat when he would pass the test, because they were sure Shuri healed him. As for each other, they promised they would use their time wisely, try to travel around the world and discover new cultures.

 

Back to their room, Carol and Natasha gave a little treat to Liho before going to bed, and sleep eventually.

 

What they were looking forward to was the Wakandan celebration of the new year, Shuri had told them they would love it.

 

The couple slept in on the morning of the 31st and had brunch around eleven o'clock with Bucky. He was as excited as a child on their birthday, not able to wait until the celebration would start.

 

It was always very funny for Carol to see Bucky so joyful after seeing him in Bucharest, completely closed to people and on his guard every second. The man she met back then was still the Winter Soldier in some ways, but this man was not, he was James Buchanan Barnes, or at least he was becoming this person again.

 

In their time in Wakanda, Natasha and Carol were lucky to discover his true self and witnessed him figuring out who he really was. Just like Carol, he had a shitty sense of humour but his bad jokes were still fun in that way. He loved animals, especially cats and goats, loved books and to take care of himself. At least once a week, he was going on a run with Carol and Natasha, worked out twice a week as well, and he was also very careful about what he ate. Thanks to Shuri who gave him some home made products, he also created his own skin-care routine and taught it to Carol who was not satisfied with hers anymore.

 

Bucky was the complete opposite of what they expected and they were glad that they got to know him so well.

 

After their brunch, Natasha and Carol left Bucky – who was going to feed his goats – and went back to their room for one of their rituals. Before the beginning of a new year, they liked to take care of each other and clear their minds to have a fresh start.

 

They began the afternoon with a relaxing bubbly bath, washed their hairs and body, gave each other massages and then moisturised their skins with lotion. After using a nourishing spray on her hair, Carol asked Natasha to braid it, knowing she loved it and that she was frustrated to not be able to do it on her own hair.

 

While Natasha braided Carol's hair, the blonde observed her also-blonde girlfriend and smiled discreetly as she saw that her natural hair colour was starting to show up. She loved Natasha's new haircut, she really did, but she still missed her long curly red hair. When Natasha was done, she and Carol tried to style her hair differently but it never looked as good as her middle parting so she stuck with it.

 

Still in their bathrobes, Natasha and Carol went back to their bed and lied down for a long hour, Carol reading while Natasha was beside her, cuddling with Liho. It was only when Carol's phone rang that she put her book down and picked up.

 

"Did I forget to tell you this was for emergencies only?" Carol asked, knowing it could only be Sam on the other side of the call.

 

Sam scoffed, "I know, you said emergencies but I missed your voice, I admit it."

 

"Aw! That's cute," said Natasha as she heard him, "Do you miss me too?" she wondered and Carol put the call on speaker.

 

"Of course I did. I miss you both, all the time. "

 

"We miss you too Sammy," Carol told him, "So, what's the call for? You're not just gonna wish her us a happy new year, are you?"

 

"I'm not, no," Sam replied and suddenly his tone changed, "Monica just called me, there's an update on the case."

 

Carol sat up the moment she heard him saying Monica. She had been waiting for an update for weeks, they knew there would be some twists but it all depended on when the cops would be interrogated again and, since the people in charge of the case weren't really thrilled that their colleagues were in deep trouble, they were going as slowly as possible.

 

"Tell us," Natasha eventually said, seeing that Carol wasn't in the right mind to talk.

 

"So, remember that they five cops that were arrested were saying they wanted to present a united front, well they aren't so united now. Apparently, the younger one heard that they would all get life sentence and turned his back on them to get a shorter sentence. After that, the other ones all turned against the one who shot, so he took deal to be in isolation because the prison he is going to his full of black folks who want to kill him… He most likely will get life anyway. As for the others, nothing is sure yet, the lawyers are hoping they will get some time and that they'll be fired but they also want to get them to talk more because apparently their boss is not a good guy so they could bring him down to get their jobs back."

 

These informations were a lot for Carol to process, but she gathered one thing: the guy who killed Maria was going to pay. It would never give her Maria back, but it was what was right, what had to happen. Unlike a lot of cops before, he wouldn't get away with it and he even feared for his life now. Deep down, Carol wished he would get killed in this prison, she knew that saying it out loud would make her sound like an awful person, but she did and couldn't lie to herself.

 

A minute passed before Carol realised that Sam stopped talking and both he and Natasha didn't say anything until she did, to let her process it all, "Good. Thank you, Sam."

 

"You're very welcomed. Have a good evening, both of you."

 

"You too, Sam," Natasha replied and hang up the call, "Wanna talk about it?"

 

"Does it make me a bad person to want him to get stabbed with a toothbrush-turned-shiv in prison?" Carol asked, not really thinking about her words.

 

Natasha wasn't surprised to hear this, "It doesn't… Actually, I think it just makes you human."

 

"Good," Carol muttered and clenched her fists, "because it's one of the things I want more in the world right now."

 

"Hey," Natasha whispered softly and held Carol's hands in hers as she saw she was getting really angry, "don't let him be so important, he doesn't matter. He is just a shitty man who's going to have the shittiest life from now on, he is nothing. He got what he deserved. Now, focus on remembering Maria, honour her, that's what matters."

 

After a long sigh, Carol looked into Natasha's green eyes and instantly relaxed, "You're right," she breathed and fell into her arms, "Thank you."

 

Natasha smiled as she stroked Carol's back, "We're there for each other, right?"

 

"Right," Carol said quietly and pulled out of the hug, "Remembering you said?"

 

"Yeah, I heard that's what we'll do tonight. A part of the Wakandan celebration of New Year's Eve is to remember and commemorate the people we lost during the year."

 

Carol let of a scoff, "I understand why T'Challa said we would like it."

 

"We should finish to get ready for it."

 

With a hum of agreement, Carol got up and she and Natasha went back to the bathroom, where their clothes for the night were. Carol quickly got into her suit and went to the balcony to get some air, still a bit moved by what Sam told them earlier.

 

A half dressed Natasha followed her and held her from behind, "You should go on a little walk, to clear your head."

 

"Yeah," Carol exhaled and turned around, "I love you."

 

"I love you too," Natasha said back and kissed her lips, "Now go."

 

Still thinking about Sam's words, Carol let her feet lead her wherever they wanted to, and she ended up in Shuri's lab.

 

"Wow! You look handsome," Shuri said as Carol stepped in.

 

"Thanks."

 

"You must have read my mind, I was going to ask you to come down here."

 

Carol rose an eyebrow, "Why?"

 

"The samples you gave me were more than useful," Shuri began as she invited Carol to look at her screen, "it helped me confirm that there is no risk in giving Natasha Kree blood. If anything, the serum she received would even make it easier for her body to adapt."

 

"There's a time of adaptation?"

 

"Yes. The cells are kind of lost at first when they meet the molecules of the Kree blood but they eventually accept it. I think it happened to you too but you didn't notice because you were in a coma most of the time."

 

Carol shrugged, "I suppose so, yeah."

 

"And also, great news! My brother gave his approval, but he said it was only because it was the two of you."

 

This time, Carol replied with a hum and sat on the closest chair. Shuri quickly noticed that something was wrong with the blonde and couldn't stop herself from being curious, "Are you okay?" she asked.

 

"I um…" Carol began and cleared her throat, "Sam called earlier. He said that the man who shot my best friend would most likely spend the rest of his life in prison."

 

"That is good news, isn't it?"

 

"It is, yeah. I just… need time to realise that it's real, you know. There's been so many cases like hers that ended with the cop getting away with it that I didn't expect it would change this time."

 

"Your country is really messed up," Shuri commented and caused Carol to laugh, "I am glad my brother didn't completely open Wakanda to the world, we don't want people like that here."

 

"Honestly, I don't consider it my country anymore. I used to live there and made friends there, I served for this damn country but I- I just don't feel American. And what happened really doesn't help."

 

After that, Shuri joined Carol and rested her hand on her shoulder, "I'm sure my brother has told you this many times but I'm doing it too; you and Natasha shall always be welcomed in Wakanda. Whether if it's only for a few weeks or forever, we love to have you here."

 

"And we love to be here too. It's hard for us to imagine a future right now but we definitely consider Wakanda for it."

 

Before Shuri could pull Carol into a hug, she was stopped by the sound of a notification on her computer, "Shit, the ceremony is starting soon. I have to get ready."

 

"Fuck! I didn't see the time, Natasha must be waiting for me," Carol exclaimed as she got up, "I'll see you there," she then told Shuri and left the lab.

 

At the quickest pace she could go without running, Carol headed to hers and Natasha's bedroom. When she stepped inside, she instantly apologise to nobody but Liho. The lights were off, the cat fed and already sleeping, and Natasha was not there. The redhead must have gotten tiring of waiting for her girlfriend and went to the ceremony alone, hopefully she wasn't mad at her about it.

 

With the same pace as the minute before, Carol went to the main hall. When she got in, she was suddenly overwhelmed by all the people present, she expected this to be a much more private party. Walking through the crowd, Carol tried to locate her girlfriend and found her laughing with Bucky.

 

As fast as she could, she zigzagged between the groups of people and joined them, "Babe, I'm so sorry I didn't realise how late it was, I was with Shuri and-"

 

"Carol, it's all right, we got there like five minutes ago."

 

"It's my bad really… I was so excited about the ceremony that I came to get you guys early," Bucky explained, "I told Nat she should wait for you but she didn't want me to go alone."

 

Knowing that Natasha wasn't mad at her, Carol relaxed and laughed at Bucky, "Man, you really are a child."

 

"I was fine going alone, it's your girl that wanted to come with me."

 

"Because you are too much of a child, she couldn't let you go on your own."

 

Bucky pouted, "Bird guy was right, you two are mean some times."

 

"Ladies, gentlemen," said T'Challa from the royal table, "you may be seated."

 

All of a sudden, the whole room was silent and everybody found their seats. It was at this moment that Carol realised that Natasha and Bucky had already found their table that they shared with a few Dora Milaje, including Ayo who was seated beside Bucky. Natasha was between Bucky and Carol, her girlfriend's hand resting on her thigh as T'Challa made his speech.

 

"It is a great honour for me to be standing here as your King to begin our celebration. This year, we lost our King, my father, and it is with him in mind that I talk to you today… Death is the beginning of something else, something great, but to us who are still living, death means we lose," at these words, Natasha put her hand on top of Carol's, "We lose somebody important to us, somebody we look up to, somebody we trust, somebody we love. Death is the end for the living, but we have to remember that the dead still live on, in the afterlife and in our hearts."

 

T'Challa paused to take a candle and a lighter, "As it is tradition, brothers, sisters, light up your candle, and write down the name of a person you lost. Remember them, their voice, their laugh, their face, remember your best memory with them, burn the paper and extinguish your candle."

 

In front of everybody was a candle, a pen and a piece of paper. The room turned darker to be only enlightened by the candles. When came the moment to write down a name, Carol didn't hesitate and wrote Maria with her best hand writing. The paper in her hand, she closed her eyes tried to remember her laugh, that she last heard such a long time ago. She pictured her face, smiling as always. When she opened her eyes again, a tear escaped the corner of her eye and she let it roll down her cheek.

 

Then, Carol shared a gaze with Natasha and noticed that she didn't write anything on her paper yet. Confused, Carol leaned towards her girlfriend and asked, "You're okay, baby?"

 

Natasha shrugged and leaned closer, "I don't know if I can write Clint. It's supposed to be the people we lost this year."

 

"I'm sure it's fine," Carol whispered and kissed Natasha's temple, "You lost someone important, it doesn't matter when it was."

 

After a nod, Natasha took the pen and wrote Clint on her paper and rested her head on Carol's shoulder. As she closed her eyes and remembered her best friend, Natasha felt Carol intertwining her fingers with hers to show her she was there for her. After a minute, Natasha opened her eyes again and let her paper hover over the flame of her candle. Carol took the hint and did the same with hers for a few seconds, before lowering her hand at the same time as Natasha so their papers burnt in sync.

 

When only ashes were left, they extinguished their flames and let their gazes wander around the room. There were still a few candles lit up, including one just beside them, Bucky's. It seemed that he didn't know what to write, he was sitting there with his pen in his hand, staring at the blank paper while the fire was slowly consuming his candle. Seeing this, Natasha wanted to help him and was about to reach for his shoulder when Carol stopped her. He had to go through this moment alone, to find his answer on his own, they both knew it but they had to let him struggle.

 

Bucky eventually gave up, crumpled his paper and extinguished his candle without doing the ritual. He was one of the lasts to do so and soon, the room was fully in the dark. After a few seconds, the lights were turned on again to reveal many emotional faces on every time, especially on the royal table were they must all have written the name of the late King T'Chaka.

 

A few seconds passed before T'Challa got on his feet and spoke, "This candle is now the symbol of the person you lost. Keep it preciously and, whenever you'll light it up, you will remember them, and honour them."

 

Seeing the other people putting away their candles, Carol and Natasha did the same, and then Natasha took Bucky's, "You should keep it and do the ritual later," she told him as she handed him the candle.

 

"I can't do it yet," Bucky replied in a mutter.

 

Carol joined the conversation, "Why?"

 

"It might sound weird but I wanted to write Winter Soldier, not to remember this period of my life but to finally put it behind me and move on but I can't. I'm not sure he is gone."

 

"It's not weird at all," Natasha assured and patted his shoulder, "It's actually a very nice way to move on."

 

"Yeah, and even if you are not sure now, you will eventually and that day will be when you'll be free," Carol added and smiled.

 

Bucky finally looked up and sighed, "I guess you're right," he said and gave Natasha's hand a light squeeze with his metal hand, "Thank you guys."

 

Quickly after the end of the remembering ceremony, dinner was served. Natasha got to discover new dishes, better ones, while Carol had already tried them and knew her girlfriend would love them. After three courses, Natasha was full but dinner was not over yet.

 

Before the last course, dessert, there was the countdown to the New Year. Two minutes before midnight, T'Challa stood up and invited all the attendees to do the same, "My friends, join me in the celebration of the new year. It is now time to say goodbye to the year we passed and say hello to the year to come."

 

Following the motion of the crowd, Bucky and the couple got up and looked at the giant clock on the wall beside the royal table. When the second hand reached its lowest point, they all started to countdown from thirty.

 

Standing side by side, Natasha and Carol counted down as they stared into each other's eyes and kissed as the crowd shouted 'Happy New Year' and cheered.

 

As their soft lips met, they both smiled and broke the kiss as they pressed their forehead together, "Happy New Year, my love," whispered Natasha.

 

Carol smiled and kissed Natasha's nose, "Happy New Year, baby."

 

After another kiss, Natasha and Carol turned to Bucky, hugged him and wished him a happy new year. The room suddenly became a big mess as music started to play, upbeat music that invited everybody to dance. Carol and Natasha tried to push Bucky to come with them but he didn't seem to want to show his moves yet so they went and danced together. Bucky joined after a few more drinks and got all the attention on the dance floor, his moves impressing everybody, even Natasha.

 

It was passed one AM when the couple decided to leave the party before dessert was even served. They got back to their room to have their own little New Year celebration.

 

Inside, Natasha quickly got a rid of Carol's jacket and was even faster to unbutton her shirt as she kiss her, "I can't never get enough of these," she said between kisses as she ran her fingers over Carol's abs.

 

"Babe," breathed and couldn't continue because Natasha's lips were back on hers, "as much as l love what is happening," she said as Natasha was pushing her on the armchair, "I actually planned something else for us," she added while Natasha was straddling her lap.

 

"If it doesn't involve my hands on your abs I don't want it."

 

Carol grimaced, "Well, it doesn't exactly involves that but I'm sure it'll still lead to it somehow."

 

Not totally happy about what her girlfriend said but hopeful for the rest of the night, Natasha slowly said goodbye to Carol's abs as she watched the blonde buttoning up her shirt. Then, she kissed her cheek and softly asked her if she could go get something in their dressing room. Natasha moved – not without complaining, and sat on the couch as she waited for Carol to come back.

 

When she did, Natasha instantly noticed that she had her hands in her back purposefully and asked, "What are you hiding there?"

 

"It's a little gift for the both of us," Carol said and sat beside Natasha, "I started this a while ago when we were separated and I found it again a few weeks ago so I thought I'd finish it," she explained and finally showed Natasha what she was hiding, "it's a photo album with only pictures we took this year."

 

Natasha was happily surprised to see the first selfie she and Carol took together during the 2016's New Year's Eve party at the compound. She opened the album and saw a few pictures of the party, her with the twins, Carol with Sam, the whole group together and remembered so well these moments. On the next pages were more pictures of herself and Carol, sometimes with Liho, one with Tony before he and Carol got mad at each other and even the personalised card the Bartons sent them while they were on holidays.

 

"We've had a very hard year but, even with all the shit that happened, we've had good moments and I wanted to remind us of that," Carol kept explaining as Natasha reached the pictures they took in the trailer in Norway, "and the most important is that we always have each other, whatever happens."

 

"This is amazing," Natasha told Carol and closed the album, to keep the rest for later, "thank you for this," she added a pressed a loving kiss on Carol's lips, "I can't wait to spend more New Year's Eves with you," Carol whispered.

 

"Speaking of which…" Natasha said with a sudden change of ton, "I thought- a lot, about your idea and I wanna do it. I want to become half Kree."

 

"You do?" Carol exclaimed, her voice high than she imagined it would be.

 

"I do."

 

"Oh, My God, that's amazing!!" Carol shouted and launched herself into Natasha's arms, "I love you so much."

 

"I love you, too," Natasha replied as she held Carol tight.

 

Hearing Carol's laughters of happiness, Natasha couldn't stop herself from grinning. She was glad that her surprise worked, she had made her mind a few days ago but she wanted to give the news on the new year, so it'd be a great start for them both.

 

When Carol eventually pulled out of the embrace, Natasha held her hands and was about to talk when Carol bested her, "What made you change your mind?" she asked, her eyes filled with excitement.

 

"I didn't really change my mind, I just needed to consider every aspects of it… It still feels weird to know that our kids will get older than us at some point but I rather be with you when that happens than let you handle it on your own."

 

"You know, we could wait and have kids when we are older," Carol pointed out.

 

"I thought about that but I can't wait. And I want our kids to know Yelena, Alexei, Melina, Sam, Bucky, the twins, I want them to hang out with Tony's and Pepper's kids, if they eventually move their asses and get engaged and have kids. I want to live this with our friends now."

 

"I love this idea," Carol concluded and kissed Natasha's lips, "You were going to say something earlier, weren't you?"

 

Natasha smirked as her hands reached the top of Carol's shirt, "Actually," she murmured and began to open her shirt, "I was going to do something."

Chapter 67: Meeting up

Chapter Text

The morning after New Year's day, Natasha and Carol were surprised by a text from Yelena on their phone, who was not wishing them a happy new year.

 

Would you ever have some time to meet up with your sister/in-law soon? - Y

 

Before even answering the question, the couple first interrogation was how she found their phone number – and the answer came in the following text.

 

PS: Mason isn't good at keeping secret stuff a secret.

 

At that, they both rolled their eyes and replied to Yelena.

 

We have all the time in the world. Where shall we meet?

 

Yelena sent them a location, and, since she also knew that the couple would come thanks to the quinjet, she told them where they could land.

 

Natasha and Carol agreed on giving themselves three days to get everything ready and say goodbye to their friends of Wakanda. T'Challa renewed his offer once again, telling them they could come back whenever they wanted. Shuri was a bit disappointed that the couple was already leaving, she thought that they could have done the turning-Natasha-Kree procedure in the next few days and was looking forward to it.

 

The last day, Natasha and Carol spent the whole afternoon with Bucky and walked around in the field where his goats spent most of their time.

 

"I'm gonna miss you guys," Bucky said as he accompanied the couple back to their room.

 

"And were gonna miss you, James. We don't know how long we'll be away but we will come back eventually."

 

"We'll come back for you, don't worry," Carol added and patted his shoulder.

 

"Oh no, don't worry about me, I can handle myself. You two enjoy your time there and don't feel pressured to come back for me, please."

 

"We won't feel pressured at all, we love to spend time with you," Carol assured and pulled him into a hug.

 

At first, Bucky was surprised by the gesture but he quickly returned it with a genuine smile on his lips. When Carol pulled out, Bucky was free but only for a second, and then Natasha was holding him. Bucky was even more shocked this time, he didn't except Natasha Romanoff to ever hug him. After they stepped out of the embrace, Natasha and Bucky shared a friendly gaze and Carol spoke, "Can we expect that you will have done the test when we'll come back," she asked with a smirk.

 

Bucky let out a chuckle, "No promises," he replied and they stepped out of the couple's bedroom, "Thanks for the walk. Goodbye."

 

Natasha watched him leave while Carol went to the bed where Liho was peacefully sleeping.

 

"He looks happy here, doesn't he?" Natasha wondered out loud as she joined Carol on the bed.

 

Carol looked up at her girlfriend and smiled, "He does, yeah. After all he went through, Wakanda is really the best place he could go to to heal."

 

"What if he isn't doing as fine as we think he is?" Natasha said and rested her head on Carol's shoulder, "When I got out, when Clint took me to the US, they expected me to be fine but I had a whole lot of traumas and it took me more than a decade to start to believe I could heal."

 

Carol slowly nodded as she thought. Natasha made a good point, Bucky might look fine from the outside but he could totally be hiding a lot of traumas behind the mask, "You think he should see a therapist?" the blonde eventually asked her girlfriend.

 

"It would be a good start. We should talk about it to T'Challa and see what he thinks…" Natasha replied before having an idea, "Or maybe he could talk to Sam, he used to work at the DA, he could help him."

 

"You forget that Sam and Bucky can't stand each other," Carol pointed out.

 

"They are just behaving like children, I'm sure they would get along if they had an actual talk."

 

Carol rose her hands in sign of defeat, "I trust you on this."

 

As Carol went to the bathroom to gather what was left of their stuff – or rather Liho's – Natasha took the phone and sent a text to T'Challa to ask him to look after Bucky and to try to convince Sam to come and help him.

 

With all their belongings now packed, the couple was ready to go. They didn't want to lose time looking back on the memories they made in this room, they knew they would come back soon but there was still a light bittersweet feeling when they left.

 

When they walked on the tarmac to join the quinjet, Natasha and Carol were surprised to find T'Challa waiting for them.

 

"You didn't think I would not come to say a last goodbye, did you?" he said with a smirk as he walked in their direction and helped them with their luggage.

 

"We are definitely glad you're here," Natasha began as they entered the jet, "Did you get our text?" she then asked.

 

"I did, and I will pay a close attention to our guest's mental health. We've actually been thinking about this for a while with my sister but we thought we could give him some time to rest before diving back into his traumas."

 

"That was the right move," Natasha commented.

 

"Maybe you should wait until he finally passes that test. It will be a big trigger, he might even ask for help," Carol assumed.

 

T'Challa slowly nodded, "It sounds like a good idea. I shall ask Ayo to mention this test again."

 

Carol smiled as she stepped closer to the Wakandan king, "You do that and keep us posted," she said before giving him a goodbye hug.

 

"I will," T'Challa replied and hugged Natasha, "See you soon," he added and stepped out of the jet.

 

The couple waved at him until the rear hatch was close and Natasha went to the pilot seat while Carol checked on Liho. The black cat was deeply asleep in her box and would probably be for the entire flight so Carol joined Natasha in the cockpit and looked at the map.

 

"So, where are we going?"

 

Natasha looked down at the location on the map, "Canada, not far from Toronto."

 

"Is it safe?" Carol asked, "I mean, for you. There's going to be a lot of people, they could recognise you."

 

"It's actually safer to hide in a big city where you never see the same people each day than in a village where everybody know each other."

 

Carol sighed, "I'm going to believe you but I still want us- especially you, to be careful."

 

"Don't worry, my love, Yelena wouldn't have chosen this place if she didn't think it was safe for all of us."

 

"That is definitely true," Carol agreed and relaxed on the copilot seat, "How long do you want to stay?" she asked next.

 

Natasha took a few seconds to think, "Well, we don't know much about the place we are going so I can't really say. But if I was certain that her place is safe and that she isn't squatting there, I'd say a few months, maybe six at best."

 

"Six months! Damn, you weren't kidding when you said you wanted to see her more."

 

"Duh! Before last year I had not seen her in twenty one years, sounds normal that I want to spend time with her."

 

Carol giggled, "I know baby, I'm just messing with you," she said, "do you think your parents will be there too?"

 

Natasha smiled, the fact that Carol talked about Alexei and Melina as her parents making her happy, "I hope so. If they're not I hope they can visit."

 

"Yelena has to be in contact with them, at least for the antidote that Melina makes."

 

"Yeah, I'm sure we'll see them while we're there."

 

Knowing they would get to Canada around midnight, Natasha and Carol forced themselves to stay awake, even if they were still a bit tired from the New Year's Eve party. To not fall sleep, they played music and sang and danced together. Natasha tried to give Carol some easy lessons but the Captain was simply too exhausted to follow her commands and was doing her usual silly moves.

 

Despite the loud music, Liho slept all the way to Canada and didn't move a whisker when Natasha took its box to bring it to Yelena's car. Natasha's sister was waiting for them on their landing site. She was standing there beside a black car, arms crossed, staring at her watch, until the couple joined her with all their belongings.

 

"You didn't have to bring all your stuff, you know," she said nonchalantly as she opened the trunk.

 

Carol just scoffed at her comment as she put the bags in the trunk but Natasha had to tease her back, "You should have told us you only wanted to see us for a few hours, we would have brought an overnight bag."

 

Yelena shook her head as she laughed, "Shut up," she muttered and stepped forward to hug her sister. Natasha smiled as she felt Yelena's hold tightening around her. The younger woman wasn't one to express her feelings out loud but she surely showed them, in her own way. Natasha got the chance to learn how she worked when they were kids, and it didn't change even after all those years, "I missed you, too," Natasha eventually whispered, which caused Yelena to chuckle.

 

While they hugged, Carol got the time to put all the bags she and Natasha brought in the car and even fastened the seatbelt around Liho's box.

 

She stood with her hands on her waist as she watched them hugging, thinking they would never let go of each other, "I thought the first thing you were going to say would be about Natasha's hair… guess I was wrong," she said, faking exasperation.

 

Her comment caused both Yelena and Natasha to laugh and they finally stepped out of the embrace, "It was my first thought when I saw two blondes but then I remembered she's had worst hair than that."

 

"Oh, you can't stop here. Tell me more!"

 

Natasha glared at Yelena in a way that could freeze people, and it even frightened the fearless assassin, "Another day, maybe," was the best Yelena found to give a partly satisfying reply for both Natasha and her girlfriend, "shall we go, now!"

 

"Right! Too much feelings at once," Natasha commented discreetly, it made Carol laugh.

 

Carol sat in the back of the car, beside Liho, and Natasha took the passenger seat. She could have stolen the car keys when she and Yelena hugged but she was too tired to drive.

 

The first thing Natasha noticed when her sister started the engine was how luxurious the car was, "This is a nice car," she said, not hiding her surprise.

 

"It's not mine. I stole it," Yelena replied blandly.

 

Natasha's eyes widened, "You what?!" she exclaimed.

 

"Ugh, calm down. I plan to unsteal it!"

 

"You are unbelievable," Natasha sighed and rubbed the arch of her eyebrows.

 

"And you are annoying."

 

Carol watched the whole exchange, not exactly shocked by what she was witnessing. From what Natasha told her of Yelena, she guessed what kind of relationship the two of them had and this talk just proved it. They loved to tease and annoy each other most of the time, but when one needed a serious conversation, the other was there to listen and give advice.

 

The ride to Yelena's house was short, barely five minutes of driving until they reached a lovely house at the edge of a small town.

 

"Here we are," she said and exited the car, "I'm gonna show you your room, you guys look like you could use some rest."

 

Natasha and Carol shared an amused glance before stepping out of the car. They weren't complaining about going straight to bed, they did need to make up for their last few short nights. The three of them entered the house and walked through what was surely the living area with no lights on until they reached a staircase. Yelena switched on the light and let the couple go first. Halfway through, Yelena told them to take the first door on the left.

 

Natasha was the first to enter and found the switch to enlighten the room that would be hers and Carol's, "This is your room," Yelena began as she let go of the couple of bags she was carrying, "you have access to the bathroom through that door. I turned the heater on but it kinda sucks so, if you're cold there are blankets in the wardrobe. Please, keep your cats stuff in there. I don't mind seeing her walking around but I don't want to smell its shit all over the house."

 

Natasha couldn't hold her laughters at that last part, "Is that all?" she asked, still snickering.

 

Annoyed, Yelena sighed, "Yes. Good night."

 

The couple watched her as she left and closed the door behind her. They kept silent for a few seconds and, when they heard another door being slammed shut, Natasha spoke, "Is it me or did she not look at you once?"

 

"She did actually, when you annoyed her. I think she was looking for help," Carol chuckled.

 

"Right…"

 

"She has no reason to ignore me," Carol said, "she knows you love me. If anything she has to at least tolerate me."

 

Natasha hummed, "I hope she'll do better than just tolerating you."

 

Carol smiled, "Don't worry, I'm great with in-laws."

 

"I know," Natasha said and kissed Carol's cheek, "Let's go to bed."

 

Natasha and Carol had a very restful night. The bed reminded the redhead of the one they had in the trailer, not the biggest bed but it was soft just like they liked. Natasha was not surprised to see that it was almost eleven o'clock when she woke up, she instantly felt when she opened her eyes that she was fully rested.

 

After a quiet yawn, Natasha sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her girlfriend behind her, still asleep. The woman that usually only needed a few hours of sleep had slept for ten hours straight and was fast asleep, despite Natasha getting out of bed.

 

Natasha let out another yawn, loud this time, as she went downstairs, expecting to see her sister there. Yelena was, indeed, in the kitchen, drinking tea.

 

"Good morning sister," said the naturally blonde one as the other rubbed the sleep off her eyes, "Morning," she muttered back as she sat opposite to Yelena and poured herself a cup of tea.

 

"How was your night?"

 

Natasha took a sip and replied, "It was good, hadn't slept that well in a while. Hell, Carol is still asleep!"

 

"She doesn't sleep much?"

 

"She doesn't need to. With her powers and all the energy she has in her, only a few hours is enough."

 

Yelena slowly nodded, "Interesting… I would love to hear more about what she can do."

 

"Well, you'll ask her because I still don't understand much. All I know is that she is very strong, can fly and breathe in space."

 

Yelena's eyes widened, "How is that physically possible?"

 

"I don't know, she just does it."

 

"Fascinating," Yelena said quietly as she got up.

 

Natasha took her cup of tea and followed her sister to the living room where she saw a piano, "You have a piano," she noted, a bit surprised because Yelena never learnt how to play when they were living with Alexei and Melina and she certainly did not learn to play in the Red Room.

 

"Yeah," she replied and shrugged, "the thing was there when I moved in. I wanted to get a rid of it but it would have cost too much money so I kept it."

 

"Carol plays the piano."

 

"Well, if she can make it sound good I'm okay to keep it but I'm not sure it's tuned."

 

As she said that, Carol walked in the living room and played a chord on the piano, which startled the sisters, "It's definitely not tuned," she said with a smile despite the daggers Yelena was throwing at her with her glare, "but I'm sure I can figure out a way to fix that."

 

"How?!" Yelena exclaimed as she pointed at the out of tune piano with both her hands.

 

Carol opened the lid of the upright piano and turned to Yelena, "You know, the internet?" she said and shrugged, "I'm sure it's not that hard," she added and unlocked her phone to search for tutorials.

 

After a ten second staring at Carol, Yelena turned back to her sister, "Are you sure it's-" she began and grimaced when Carol pressed another out of tune key, "are you sure it's worth it?"

 

"It is. She is amazing."

 

Yelena hummed as she shot one last look back at the blonde super hero. Seeing that Yelena was quite annoyed by Carol's random key pressing, Natasha nodded in direction of the kitchen and got up, inviting her sister to come with her. Yelena got the hint, took her cup of tea and joined Natasha.

 

"How have you been?" Natasha asked.

 

Yelena didn't answer right away, "Well," she drank her last sip of tea, "A bit busy, obviously. It's been hard to balance the saving Widows and figuring out who I am."

 

"You've had the time to find yourself a home, that's nice."

 

"How do you know this is my home?"

 

Natasha smirked, "You wouldn't have invited Carol and I if it wasn't a place you knew safe for us. Plus you decorated it so you must have taken time to go shopping and find things you like."

 

"Actually I didn't take the time. I'm waiting for Melina to make more antidotes, then I'll go back out there to find other Widows that need it."

 

"I didn't think it would take her that much time to make some," Natasha commented and finished her cup of tea.

 

"Unlike me she's been prioritising her personal life now that she is free so she isn't always working."

 

"Are they back together?" Natasha asked and smirked.

 

Yelena shook her head, but not in sign of negative answer, "It's a big mess because of him and his clumsy words, I mean, you know… I don't think they're there yet but he is spending a lot of time at her house."

 

Natasha laughed, "I would kill to see it."

 

"Trust me, you wouldn't. They are annoying."

 

Natasha let out another laughter and went back to seriousness, "So, how much of who you are have you figured out?"

 

Yelena was going to reply before Natasha finished her question and its entirety surprised her, "I thought for a moment you were going to ask me how many Widows I have saved."

 

"That was my next question. I want to hear about my sister first."

 

Yelena couldn't stop herself from smiling and even blushed. She was still not used to being loved but she really liked how it felt like, "I've discovered how I like a house, that I like houses better than flats and that I definitely want a dog."

 

"What's stopping you?"

 

"The whole having to walk it twice a day, especially when I'm not home."

 

Natasha chuckled, "You have a house, Yelena, and a garden, you don't have to walk your dog. I mean its better to walk it but it would have space to live back there, and not poop inside."

 

"Doesn't help for the "when I'm away" part."

 

"Right… well, one day you'll be done with that mission. How many of them are free now?"

 

Yelena pinched the bridge of her nose, "Ugh, only about fifty, most of those that were in Europe. Between Melina taking her time to make the antidote and finding them I feel like there is no end to this."

 

"That's all right, you haven't been doing this for long."

 

"I know but I want to help them! They should all be freed already, they deserve it!" Yelena exclaimed and looked down in shame.

 

"Hey," Natasha said softly and stepped closer to her sister, "you are doing a great job, and you are doing it alone! You can't save them all in a few weeks, cut yourself some slack, okay?" she added as she rubbed her sister's back.

 

Yelena slowly nodded, "Okay," she muttered and looked up, "thank you."

 

Natasha smiled, "Of course," she said and pulled her closer, "what's a sister for."

 

"Still figuring that out, too," Yelena replied and smirk.

 

"I wish I could be more present for you."

 

Yelena chuckled, "Cut yourself some slack, you're of the run for big crimes, you can't put yourself at risk just for me."

 

"But I could though… I mean Carol and I could stay for a while, if you want us."

 

"That would be great," Yelena replied and threw herself into Natasha's arms.

 

Natasha hugged her sister back and smiled, "We didn't plan on staying for a few days anyway."

 

"Good."

 

They hugged for a short minute, Yelena pulling out when she heard a weird sound coming from the living room. With Natasha, they shared a look and simultaneously went in the other room to see what was going on.

 

"No worries!" Carol exclaimed when she saw them storm in the living room, Natasha looking concerned and Yelena annoyed – like she often did, "I was not delicate enough so the lid shut by itself but nothing is broken, I think."

 

"Lord help me," Yelena muttered as she made her way to the couch.

 

"While you do that I'm gonna go take a shower. I hope it'll be ready to be used when I come back," Natasha said.

 

Yelena rolled her eyes, "Please don't challenge her."

 

"I'm almost done," Carol told her girlfriend with a wink and went back to fixing the piano.

 

While she did, Yelena watched Carol working, analysed her behaviour to try to understand her better. She knew Natasha loved her more than anybody else in the world, which had to mean she was a good person. She also knew about the hero, that she saved a lot of people, but Yelena wanted to see how she was in her everyday life, she wanted to discover what made her so special to her sister.

 

After a few minutes of observation, Yelena could already tell that Carol was smart, she was understanding instructions to tune the piano that didn't sound so easy to her. It made her wonder what Carol did in her life before being a superhero.

 

"May I ask what was your job before you became Captain Awesome?"

 

Carol chuckled, "It's Captain Marvel."

 

"Okay, Captain Marvel. What was your job before?"

 

"I was an air force pilot," Carol replied casually.

 

"That explains it," Yelena muttered to herself, "what did you fight?"

 

"I was a pilot in the 80s, they didn't let women fly combat at that time."

 

Yelena remained silent for a few second, "The 80s… how old are you again?"

 

Carol tossed away the tools she was using and joined Yelena on the couch, "Technically I'll be fifty seven this year but my body is around thirty five years old or something."

 

"Now I understand what Natasha meant when she said your powers were complicated to explain."

 

"Yeah, that part especially. I mean the rest is complicated as well, I try not to go into too many details because most of the time people don't understand a word I say."

 

"Try me," Yelena said with confidence.

 

Carol smirked, "You sure?"

 

"Yup, tell me everything you know about your powers."

 

"Alright," Carol said and sat in a more comfortable position.

 

To make it easier for Yelena, Carol told her every thing she discovered in a chronological order, as if Yelena was Carol. She first told her about Hala and the photon blasts, the moment she freed herself from the Kree's control and unleashed all her powers to destroy Ronan's ship. Yelena was very interested by that story and couldn't believe that an alien almost blew up the planet when she was still a six years old.

 

Then, she told her about her years in space, how she discovered more and more of her abilities as she helped around, until she was called back to Earth. Yelena noted that Carol was very humble when she told that part, she wasn't like Yelena imagined superheroes, full of herself and arrogant.

 

Then, Carol talked about the last six years of her life, the creation of the Avengers, meeting Natasha, and it suddenly all made sense for Yelena. Carol barely talked about what she did as Captain Marvel, she focused her tale on Natasha, how they became friends, how they gained each other's trust and how they became a couple. It was only when a detail came back to her mind that she mentioned her powers again but she quickly went back to talking about Natasha.

 

Through Carol's story, Yelena could see how much they loved each other, and the way Carol talked about Natasha proved that she deeply cared about her and wanted only one thing, making her happy.

 

"You really love her, don't you?" Yelena eventually asked, for the first time she talked with a soft tone to Carol.

 

"She is my everything," Carol replied and smiled.

 

"So, you'll celebrate your three years anniversary this year, right?"

 

"We will, yeah. Next month."

 

Yelena hummed, realising that they would celebrate their anniversary here, at her house since Natasha told her that they would stay for a while. Yelena didn't mind that much, she just didn't want to hear any lovemaking and would make sure to leave the house for the whole day of their anniversary.

 

From the expression on Yelena's face, Carol could tell she liked what she heard, although she didn't really know what was to like.

 

As comfortable as the silence was, Carol still had her own question for her girlfriend's sister and asked, "So, what's this place? Another of Mason's safe houses?"

 

"No, actually this… is my home."

 

"You bought this place?"

 

"I'm renting it, for now. I know it'll sound silly but I wanted to have a place to go back to after a mission and I found this city and then this house and I thought, why not? You know."

 

Carol smiled, "It doesn't sound silly at all."

 

"No?"

 

"It's what Natasha and I want. What we hope we can have one day."

 

"I'm sure you will."

 

"I see you got to the talking part," Natasha said as she entered the living room, a towel on her wet hair.

 

"Took you long enough!" Yelena noted, "Carol got the time to tell me her whole life… basically."

 

"Did she now?" Natasha said as she looked back at her girlfriend.

 

"She asked how my powers work so I told her everything I knew about it and how I discovered it."

 

"Sounds like the best way to do it."

 

Yelena nodded, "Yup. I almost understood it all, except the breathing in space part, that doesn't make any sense."

 

Natasha and Carol chuckled, "Don't worry, I don't understand it either," Carol told her while Natasha sat on her lap.

 

The three of them turned silent as Natasha finished to dry her hair with her towel. When she was done, Carol smiled and pecked her cheek, to which Natasha replied with a smile.

 

Then, she got up – to Carol's big disappointment – and sat on the armchair, "So, now that I have the two of you here, I can tell you about the idea I had the other day."

 

Carol and Yelena shared a gaze before the latter spoke, "We're listening."

 

"Okay, so… every time the Avengers intervened somewhere, innocent people got hurt, some even died and left their families behind them. We haven't done much about that except sending money which I think is not enough so I had this idea. Why don't we build a place where the kids that lost their parents because of battles could live and find a new family."

 

"So an orphanage?" Yelena said, perplexed.

 

Natasha blinked, realising that her project was exactly it, "Yes, basically."

 

"But an orphanage with the Avengers name on it?" Yelena asked.

 

"Not necessarily. The place would be founded by the Avengers' money though."

 

"Hmm, I don't know. Carol, what do you think?"

 

Carol sat up and replied, "Well, I like the idea, you know I've always thought we should do more but I think we can't stop at the kids that lost their parents in battles, that wouldn't be a lot of kids."

 

"What do you propose then?"

 

"Just a normal orphanage, for local kids, wherever they're from, no matter how they lost their parents. An orphanage made by you, baby."

 

Natasha scratched the back of her neck as she thought, "Okay but I don't have access to the money the Avengers have."

 

"You don't need that money," Yelena said, "You can create the project and ask for subventions from the government. Although I don't know which government will give you money."

 

"Very helpful, Yel…"

 

"What? It's true," Yelena argued but it was not enough to make Natasha listen to her so she continued, "I see why you want this to be an "Avengers project", it'd be easier to build, you'd have basically infinite money but, as Carol said, it's a you project. I'm assuming that you would run the whole thing, right?" Natasha nodded in agreement, "So it has to be your project, not the Avengers."

 

"I agree with Yelena. I know you would pour your soul into this project, it has to have your name on it and only your name," Carol added as she stood up and leaned on the side of the armchair, "It doesn't have to happen tomorrow. Take the time to build this project, find the right people to help you and, when we'll both retire you'll be able to work there full time."

 

Natasha looked up at her girlfriend, "That sounds like a great plan."

 

"Yes?" Yelena asked confirmation, already half excited.

 

"Yeah, you're right. It's my idea, my project."

 

"YES!" Yelena exclaimed and joined the couple in a group hug.

 

When they parted, Natasha laughed, "I didn't think you guys would get so excited over this."

 

"It's a great idea, of course were excited," Carol said.

 

"What she said."

 

Natasha smiled, "Thank you both. I really needed your support."

 

A silence fell on them again but Yelena was quick to break it, "So, shall we see if Carol succeeded at tuning this piano."

 

Natasha looked at her girlfriend with pleading eyes, "Oh, my God, yes, please. Please, play your song."

 

"Her song?" Yelena asked while Carol made her way to the stool.

 

"Carol wrote a song for me for Valentine's day."

 

"Of course she did," Yelena muttered.

 

Natasha sat on Carol's left, knowing she wouldn't bother her while she played. It was always an emotional moment for Carol to play this song, it was her way to show Natasha how much she loved her and, for the first time ever, somebody else than her would hear it. After a few seconds of focusing, she began.

 

She had not played this song for quite a while, even on the phone app Natasha asked her to download, but she still knew it perfectly. It was like her hands knew what to do, she didn't even have to think, she just naturally played the song. The piano seemed to be perfectly tuned, every key she pressed sounded like it should, which satisfied Yelena a lot.

 

When Carol reached the end of the song, Natasha pressed a kiss on Carol's cheek and then looked back to her sister, "So, what do you think?" she asked.

 

Yelena smiled, "I'm impressed."

Chapter 68: Goddamn society

Chapter Text

After more than three months of living at Yelena's house, Carol, Natasha and Liho had settled in perfectly. It took them a few weeks to adapt to this new life, the weather very different from what they got used to in Wakanda and the atmosphere of the neighbourhood.

 

What was hard for them was to not be able to go out of the house, because Yelena didn't let them, she didn't want them to take any risk. With time, the couple got used to staying in, even if they missed going out to jog.

 

As anticipated, Yelena had to leave the house the day of Natasha's and Carol's three years anniversary. When the day began, she thought it was going to be okay, the two lovebirds were glued to each other but they weren't doing anything disgusting until they started cooking… One second they were making cookies, the next they were making out on the counter.

 

Yelena understood that chocolate on the corner of Carol's mouth and some finger sucking were the trigger to this very intimate activity and she didn't want to know more. A glimpse of that scene was enough for her to rush out of the house.

 

There was no other making out incident after this one, and the couple apologised many times for getting "carried away" that day.

 

The year slowly past and soon, Carol's birthday was coming. Her fifty seventh birthday. Yelena loved to annoy her with this number. It didn't make any sense to Carol anymore, in life experience she was two hundred years old, in her body she felt like when she was twenty two, and technically she had lived fifty seven years. It was only because Yelena and Natasha insisted to celebrate it that Carol accepted. They were going to go to a restaurant, it would be Carol's and Natasha's first time out of the house – and the garden – since they got there.

 

This was what they planned, but it didn't go as well as expected.

 

Three days before Carol's birthday, during a lunch that was just as normal as every other lunch, the three of them watched TV and all turned mute when a couple of journalists said the word "Avengers".

 

"After an intervention of the Avengers on the American-Canadian border with not a single one of the original members in the team, the world has been wondering, where are they? And, more specifically, where is Captain Marvel?"

 

"That's right, Robert, and it has been a big question in the recent weeks all over the American newspapers. As you can see, many wonder where the leader of the Avengers has been since the incident at the Berlin Brandenburg Airport last year and some even think that she has been hiding we her fellow team mate and reportedly partner in life, the Black Widow herself, Natasha Romanoff."

 

" You see Linda, what annoys me in this situation is that the person who's supposed to be there to protect our planet could be hiding with a fugitive. T hat is not a hero behaviour at all! Does she not have any sense of duty? And w hat if a bigger threat comes, w ill she stay hidden or will she finally show up? "

 

" Hopefully we will never have to find out, but what is certain is that the people want answers. "

 

The journalists continued to talk about the Avengers, about how Natasha betrayed the world and that was enough for Yelena to mute the TV.

 

"Well, that was some bullshit, wasn't it?" she said, completely unaffected by what she heard.

 

But Natasha and Carol were affected, especially Carol, who was standing behind the couch where Natasha was seated, both her hands grasping the backrest, her jaw clenched and brows frowned.

 

Natasha looked back at her girlfriend and, seeing her state of anger, quietly said, "Yelena, please, shut up."

 

Yelena was about to protest when Natasha rose her hand to stop her and joined Carol. The blonde superhero was still glaring at the television, her breaths heavy and short as she tried to keep her cool.

 

"Carol, look at me," Natasha began as she reached for one of Carol's hands, that she feared were close to suddenly shine, "Babe, please, tell me how you feel about this," she added, not sure her words were the best but she had to make Carol express her feelings or she would implode, "Carol?"

 

"FUCK THE MEDIA, FUCK THIS GODDAMN SOCIETY AND FUCK ALL THESE PEOPLE!" Carol screamed before panting for air.

 

Her words surprised both sisters, especially Yelena who had never seen Carol that way. She could even swear her eyes turned golden for a moment.

 

Seeing that Carol was struggling to breathe, Natasha took a slight step back to give her space but kept her hand on her shoulder, "Hey, hey, slow down. Look at me," she whispered and put her hand on Carol's chest to guide her into a better rhythm. When Carol calmed down, she continued, "It doesn't matter what they think, you are where you want to be and who you want to be, they don't have anything to say about it."

 

A part of Carol wanted to agree with Natasha but there was still too much anger in her, and instead of keeping it inside she wanted to let it out, "No, you know what? They want answers, they'll have answers. I'm gonna go to New York and have a press conference to tell them all to go fuck themselves."

 

"Oh, I like that," Yelena muttered, loudly enough for Natasha to hear it.

 

"I don't," she said to her sister and cupped Carol's cheeks, "Don't let them get to you, be smarter than them, my love."

 

Carol moved away from Natasha's touch, "Oh, don't worry, I'm gonna be smarter. I'm going to remind them that heroes are not machine, that we are people, and if they are not satisfied with that, I'll tell them to fuck off."

 

"Sounds less fun but okay."

 

"Yelena, shut up."

 

"What? Aren't you annoyed by this? I'm not even an Avenger and I think they are asking too much of you. You are not their things, if they can't understand that then someone should tell them."

 

"I agree but there are ways to tell them."

 

"How?" Yelena asked.

 

"I don't know," Natasha sighed and turned to Carol, "You could make a statement to would be released on the Avengers website."

 

"No," Carol replied firmly, "I want them to know the words are coming from me. A statement can be manipulated, changed. I want them to see me say every single word I have to say."

 

"If you are going to New York, I'm coming with you."

 

"You most certainly are not."

 

"I'll go," Yelena intervened, "We all know that you can't risk to go to New York and I know that you don't want Carol to go alone so I'll go with her."

 

Natasha wasn't fully satisfied with this offer but she knew Yelena was right, she couldn't take such a big risk. Showing up at the compound, even with the Quinjet in stealth mode, was too dangerous, and it would also put everybody in there in danger.

 

"All right. You're going, I'm staying. But I am driving you to the jet."

 

"Fine," Carol exhaled and took her phone, "I'm asking Pepper for a press conference for tomorrow."

 

The call between Pepper and Carol was heated, the CEO of Stark Industries not totally sure it was a good idea for Carol to talk to the press. It took some convincing, but she eventually accepted, although she was close to cancelling the whole thing when she told Carol she could not land with the jet in the compound and Carol replied "watch me" and hung up the call.

 

Natasha said her goodbyes to her sister and her girlfriend before taking the car, knowing they would have to leave instantly after getting to the jet. She was still not happy to have to stay behind, she dreaded what Carol would say and hated that she wouldn't be there for her. Her first words were for her sister, she gave her some advice, told her how to act if Carol was getting too angry. She also asked if she could say hello to her friends for her since Carol would have other things in mind.

 

When it came to Carol, the goodbyes were longer. Even if they weren't going to be away for long, Natasha needed to hold her for five minutes, to smell her perfume and touch her soft hair while she told her she was proud of her. Carol, who had been very closed since they saw the news on TV, let her mask off for these few minutes. She assured she was fine multiple times, although she admitted it hurt her to see that people could think so little of her.

 

Before leaving, Carol pressed a soft kiss on Natasha's lips, told her she loved her and she did the same before exiting the car to go to the quinjet.

 

The flight to New York was fast – especially with a quinjet – and silent the whole way. Yelena tried to make conversation in the first minutes but she could tell Carol's mind was somewhere else, probably imagining how the press conference would go.

 

Yelena didn't like that she couldn't help Carol. Natasha asked her to take care of her while they were gone and Yelena wanted to do so but she didn't feel like she could. They got to know each other better in the last few months but there was still something between them that was a real barrier to their relationship to evolve.

 

Just like she said she would, Carol landed in the compound, without even communicating with the control tower. She stepped out of the jet and Yelena had to hurry to follow her. Carol went straight to the conference room but, when she saw that Maria, Sam and Pepper were all waiting for her at the door, she rolled her eyes and walked the opposite way.

 

"Carol, wait!" shouted Maria as the three of them jogged to catch up, "Carol, I'm not sure this is a good idea."

 

"Hello to you too, Maria. It's been a while."

 

"Cap, come on! We all know you're upset. Maybe you should wait before talking to the press."

 

"I'm ignoring you, Sam."

 

"Carol, please. I know I agreed to this but are you sure you're ready?" Pepper asked, which caused Carol to abruptly stop walking.

 

"You all think I'm stupid or what?" she said, feeling genuinely insulted, "I am not an idiot, I know what I'm walking into and, yes , I'm ready. You might think these journalists are going to eat me alive but I will. Now, please, leave me and Yelena alone."

 

Yelena waved at these strangers and said awkwardly, "Hi, I'm Yelena, Natasha's sister."

 

"Hi."

 

"Nice to meet you," Sam said.

 

"Conference starts in twenty minutes," Pepper told Carol with a stern look.

 

Carol watched them leave and released a breath she didn't know she had been holding, "What the fuck am I doing…" she muttered as she pinched the bridge of her nose, "I'm such an idiot. I have nothing planned, I don't know what I'm going to tell them."

 

"Don't talk like that," Yelena said firmly, "you can fly combat planes, you most certainly are not an idiot. Maybe it was not the best thing to rush into things like this but it seems to be a habit of yours so we're gonna have to work with that."

 

"We?"

 

Yelena shrugged, "Yes, we . I'm here for a reason."

 

"What do you propose then?"

 

Yelena looked around, "Is there anywhere calm we could go to?"

 

Carol nodded and led Yelena to hers and Natasha's old room. She felt very nervous when her hand touched the doorknob, she didn't know what happened to this room and was afraid of what she would see.

 

To her surprise, the room was in the exact same state as it was when she came to take some of hers and Natasha's stuff, almost a year ago. The book Natasha had started reading a few days before Ross showed up at the compound was still on her nightstand, the bookmark on page 72. It even seemed that the room was cleaned regularly, there was no dust on the shelf or the furnitures and the bed had been made.

 

Slowly, Carol made her way to the armchairs, where she and Natasha used to read with Liho on one of their laps and sat down.

 

"You good?" Yelena asked as she sat on Natasha's armchair.

 

Carol nodded, "Just feels weird to be back here."

 

Yelena hummed and let a few last secondq to Carol before speaking up, "So, we have about twelve minutes left to plan a speech that'll look good."

 

"I don't wanna write anything. I want to speak from my heart."

 

"What is your heart telling you?" Yelena asked with a soft tone, one she usually didn't use with Carol.

 

"That I have to be smarter than them, and that I can't lie."

 

"Sounds like a plan."

 

They used the last few minutes they had to think about the questions Carol would get. Yelena said Carol should give the journalists a limited amount of questions, that way they wouldn't be able to outsmart her. They agreed on three. She also told her to give the first question to one of the angry white men that will be sitting on the first row, to show them that she is not scared of them. Then, Carol said she would take questions that she would feel comfortable replying to.

 

For her speech, Carol would let her heart do the work and hoped it would be enough. Yelena reminded her that this press conference was a huge event, TV channels would be filming her and Natasha would most likely be watching. Carol really needed to hear that, to remember that she had Natasha's support even if she was not physically with her.

 

They must have a couple minutes left before the beginning of the press conference when they decided to leave the room. Before leaving, Carol took a look at the bedroom and all the pictures on the wall.

 

Yelena noticed it and said, "I can gather some of your stuff while you're talking to them."

 

Carol smiled, "I want to know you're there. We can come back here after the conference."

 

Once again, when Carol and Yelena arrive to the conference room's door, Sam, Maria and Pepper are still there.

 

"Still want to convince me to not go?" Carol asked, annoyed.

 

Maria shook her head, "As hard as I think it's a reckless move, we have to show a united front."

 

"So we'll be in there with you," Sam clarified.

 

Carol couldn't stop herself from smiling as she shared a gaze with each one of them, "Thank you guys."

 

Yelena stepped closer and put her hand on Carol's shoulder, "See, you're not alone."

 

"Cap! There you are!" a voice said from behind them, voice that Carol would always recognise.

 

"Pietro!" Carol exclaimed as she pulled the young man in her arms, "God, it's great to see you!"

 

"You, too! I just wanted to say I'm a hundred percent with you."

 

"Thank you Pete," Carol said and looked around, "Wanda's not here?"

 

"No. She and Vision went on some trip. Pretty sure she hasn't seen the news recently."

 

"That's okay. You'll tell her Natasha and I said hi."

 

"I will," Pietro assured and left.

 

"Carol," Pepper said, "it's time."

 

That was it. It was time for Carol to speak to the press. She suddenly felt anxious, realising there would be a lot of people seeing her and listening to her. When Sam opened the door, she heard the brouhaha of all the journalists waiting for her. The noise got louder when Sam, Maria and Pepper walked in and it completely deafened her when she entered. Flashes of cameras blinded her, so much that she almost missed the reading desk. She stood in front of it, hesitated to adjust the mics and remembered the many times she had seen people doing that on TV and it always made awfully high-pitched sounds. There were so many spotlights on her that she could barely see the people in the crowd, except the first row that was filled with angry white men, as anticipated.

 

It seemed that the journalists weren't going to shut up and Carol wasn't going to start talking as long as they didn't. While they kept talking and whispering, Carol tried to find a spot she could look at during her speech, like she learnt in the few theatre classes she took when she was a kid. When she found it, Carol coughed and all the room turned silent.

 

"Hi…" she began and instantly regretted it, feeling like it sounded weak. After a long second to gather herself, Carol looked at her spot – the light of a camera – and continued, "As you can guess, I asked for this press conference in order to clarify my situation following the latest stupid gossips that have been going around the media."

 

If she could look behind her, Carol was sure she would see Maria face-palming and Sam laughing after that first sentence but, as she said to Yelena, she was letting her heart speak. Therefore, she resumed, "I thought important to remind everybody that we superheroes are still people. Most of them are humans, like you and me, we still need to eat, to sleep, to go to the toilets. Heroes can be nervous, they might have anxiety, get sick, go to the hospital, die…" she said and thought of Clint, Heroes have feelings, needs, they have a personal life, a dating life, a sex life… Yes, heroes fuck…"

 

She heard some offended noises but ignored them, "Let's be honest, heroes are just like any other person, they are just seen more, like an actor or a singer can be. The only difference is that, we, superheroes, are expected to save people's lives everyday, and if we don't do that then you journalists think we are being lazy, but really we are just living our everyday lives because we do have that too, like you do. For a long time I thought that if I didn't save people everyday I was letting them down and I know many of my fellow Avengers have felt that way too. We feel guilty when we take one day to take care of ourselves but I don't feel that way anymore. I think it’s important to remember that being a hero is our job, not all of our lives. We are not heroes 24/7 and you have to understand that, to accept it and cut us some slack."

 

These last words created some chatters between the journalists, which gave Carol a few seconds to breathe, "Before being Captain Marvel, I am Carol Danvers, and some times I need to rest, I need to be away from all the pain that I see when I fight, I need to be with the people I love… These past few months, I've needed time to take care of myself and my loved ones, and I still am working on getting better. I've been a hero for such a long time now, all over the universe, and this is the first time I've allowed myself a real break. During these months, I've realised that I truly needed it, because I have untreated traumas that have gotten worse years after years and I would probably have exploded if I had kept working."

 

The angry white men from the first row seemed surprised to hear that, apparently for them a superhero was always fine, yet every hero Carol knew had or still have traumas, "Now, I know you are all wondering, when will Captain Marvel come back? The answer is simple, I have no idea. I might feel ready in a month or two years, maybe I will never be fully ready again, I don't know. What is certain is that, while I'm away, I know we can all trust the Avengers to respond to any kind of threat and protect the planet."

 

The loud noises were back the second Carol concluded her speech. She looked back at Pepper who made a weird gesture but Carol still understood what she meant, "I will be taking three questions," she said, leaning closer to the microphones to be sure the crowd would hear her.

 

The next second, half of the journalists got up and raised their hands while shouting their questions. The whole front row was standing of course, and Carol remembered Yelena's advice. Carol pointed at a random man and all the others sat down.

 

"What is your relationship with Natasha Romanoff?" the man asked and Carol could swear he was smirking.

 

It was a tricky question, she had to be smart on this one, but that the same time she didn't want to lie so she said, "It's many things. She means a lot to me and I miss her right now," no lie in that answer, it was just not what the journalist wanted to hear.

 

He was indeed not satisfied with her answer and added, "People say you're dating."

 

"People say Earth is flat," Carol told him, "yet I've seen it with my own eyes and it's not."

 

"Your point?"

 

"People say shit sometimes," she said, which was still not a lie, she was just implying that rumours weren't always right, although this one was, "And please don't ask someone about their personal life, it's annoying. You wouldn't like it so don't do it to others," she reminded as the journalist sat down.

 

It was the same mess once again, all the journalists shouting their questions. Carol noticed a young man in the crowd, most likely around Pietro's age, and pointed at him. He shyly got up and stuttered before clearly asking his question.

 

"Can you tell us where you've been all this time?"

 

Carol scoffed, "A lot of places. I've tried to be away from people to focus on myself, as I said earlier."

 

"Were you away with Natasha Romanoff?"

 

Carol was surprised by the audacity this young reporter had but she knew he wasn't experienced enough to trick her, "Let me ask you a question, what do you expect me to say?"

 

"The truth."

 

"But the truth wouldn't look good on your magazine so what's the point?" she said, hinting that she was not with Natasha all this time but really she was just playing him.

 

"I… don't know."

 

"Well, me neither. Last question."

 

Surprisingly there wasn't as many questions this time, probably because they all wanted to know if Carol was dating Natasha and if she was with her.

 

"How have you been?" a feminine voice asked from the back of the conference room. It was muffled by some men shouting more questions about Carol's relationship with Natasha but Carol still heard it.

 

After Carol pointed in direction of the voice, the reporter stood on their feet. This time, the whole room turned silent and looked back at the reporter, "Trish Walker for the Trish Talk," she said and asked the question again, "How have you been, miss Danvers?"

 

Carol recognised her, she had heard her talk show a few times on the radio, "Good question, miss Walker, and kind of hard to answer. Could you be more specific."

 

"You've said that you've been working on some traumas from your past and my listeners have been asking a lot about superhero's traumas so my question would be how did your superhero activity have been affecting your life and how have you dealt with them in the last few months?"

 

"My superhero activity… Well, I have seen a lot of things, whether it was on Earth or on other planets, horrible things that always leave their marks on you. But the worst has been recent, it's been more about how we are treated as heroes."

 

"Could you explain that for us?"

 

"Sure… " Carol said and paused to find the right words, "On every planets, there are people that want power. For these people there are two solutions, they are made prisoners by the leaders of the planets or they take control of it. On Earth, it's different. There are a lot of countries and so a lot people that want power but they can't get it all so they annoy each other and to do that, they use other people. Now, I'm not saying that this never happens on other planets but Earth is where I have seen it the most. Going back to these people, they are ready to do anything, terrible, terrible things, just to control people that are powerful but don't want to use it to be in power, someone like me for example. Recently, I have noted that some people on this planet would be ready to take away the free will of powerful people like me to use them as weapons, and that have been on my mind a lot."

 

"As a hero, how does it affect you?"

 

"As a hero, not much. As a person, it scares me, I'll be honest. I can never understand how someone could be ready to do that for some power. I know how it might sound coming from someone like me, who kinda has power with the Avengers, but I never wanted it. All I want is to help people and, when I'll be exhausted of it all, go home to my partner and cat and live a quiet life until the day I die."

 

Carol knew she didn't answer all of the question but she preferred to finish her conference on these words and the nod from Trish Walker told her she was okay to not get the full answer.

 

"Thank you very much. I won't take more question," she concluded and stepped out of the conference room.

 

Carol expected to see Yelena when she got out but the first person that stood before her was Tony.

 

"Nice of you to show up now. Could have done that sooner, it would have saved us a shitstorm of dumb journalists wanting statements."

 

"I think you should shut up," Carol groaned, his voice reminding her of her dad again.

 

Yelena stepped beside Carol and folded her arms, "I agree."

 

"Who is that even?"

 

"Natasha's sister, Yelena," Carol replied.

 

"Natasha has a sister?" Tony asked sceptically.

 

"Yes, she does, and she's going to kick your ass if you don't shut up and listen to what she has to say."

 

Yelena's assassin stare seemed to have scared Tony enough for him to take a step back, "Right… listening."

 

Carol gave Yelena a thanking gaze before speaking up, "I don't want to fight with you Tony, okay? I just… needed this, and I think it's a good reminder for all of us, especially our new recruits."

 

"Like who? Wanda? She is chilling all right. Been camping somewhere with Vision, we can't even reach them."

 

"I was more thinking about the kid you brought in Germany. Peter? You know he can't be a vigilante, not anymore because of the Accords. He is putting himself in danger."

 

"He's not gonna stop, Carol."

 

"I know."

 

"Then what do you suggest?" Tony asked.

 

"He has to give his identity to the UN panel. He doesn't have to be public if he doesn't want to but they have to know who he is, like they know the whole truth about me."

 

Tony rubbed his eyes, "He's not gonna like it."

 

"I'm sure he'll prefer that than having to stop being Spiderman."

 

"Okay," Tony sighed, "I'll talk with him, we'll make an announcement, probably saying it's for his loved ones safety that he is keeping his identity a secret and all that shit."

 

"Sounds good to me," Carol said and patted his shoulder, "it's nice to have a really talk with you. Without shouting."

 

Tony chuckled, "I agree."

 

"I'm sorry to do this but we have to get going. If we get back home before dinnertime Natasha will worry."

 

"Oh yeah, of course. You'll say hi to her from me?"

 

"I will. Goodbye, Tony."

 

Tony waved at her, nodded and at Yelena and walked away, surely to join Pepper.

 

Carol and Yelena stood there, without a word, until it was too much for Yelena.

 

"Well, that was very weird," she said as she stood in front of Carol.

 

"He and I haven't been on really good terms recently."

 

Yelena chuckled, "Explains the weirdness I suppose."

 

"Probably…"

 

"Right," Yelena sighed, "Should we go get your stuff or do you want to talk with your friends before?"

 

Carol hesitated, she did want to go talk to Sam and Maria but at the same time she didn't want Yelena to do all the work for her. After some thinking, she found a good compromise, "I'm just gonna say goodbye to them and I'll join you," she said and Yelena made her way to the bedroom, "Yel, wait a sec!" Carol exclaimed, "in case I forget, please take the book that is on the nightstand."

 

"Will do," Yelena replied and left.

 

Maria and Sam were still at the door of the conference room, as if they knew that Carol would come and talk to them.

 

"So…" Carol began as she approached them, "how was I?"

 

Sam grinned, "I thought you were great. Played them very well."

 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Carol replied, faking ignorance with a smirk.

 

"I have to say, I didn't except you to be that calm," Maria said, "but you did very well, reminded the world that superhero is a job of sorts, that was much needed."

 

"Yeah, I thought it was important, not just for me but for all of us," Sam and Maria both nodded in agreement. Carol continued, "I would love to chat more but I sent Yelena to my room to get some of our stuff, I have to go help her and then we will be leaving."

 

"I wish you could have stayed longer," Sam said as he took a step forward and pulled Carol into a hug, "We miss you a lot, both of you," he added with a wink.

 

"We miss you all a lot, the both of us," Carol replied and turned to Maria, "it was great to see you."

 

Maria smiled, "You too, Carol," they shared a short embrace and Maria added, "you'll say hello to Nat for me."

 

"And for me, too!"

 

"Noted. Goodbye guys."

 

A fully relaxed and smiling Carol went back to the her bedroom to help Yelena. When she entered, a duffel bag was on the bed and Yelena was looking at some books on the shelf.

 

"The book was the first thing in the bag," she told Carol.

 

"Good," the blonde replied and went to the dressing room. She didn't specifically know what she wanted to bring back with her but she knew she and Natasha needed some more clothes, "Thank you by the way, for earlier. I really needed the help, and with Tony as well," she said from the dressing room.

 

Yelena joined her – with three books in her hands – and leaned against the door frame, "That's why I came with you."

 

"Still, I want to thank you," Carol insisted.

 

"You're very welcome," Yelena replied and went back to the bed, "I texted Natasha and she asked me to take some of your books and she asked for underwear as well so I'm letting you pick those."

 

Carol chuckled, "Thanks."

 

"I also thought we could bring back this bag of cat food. It's opened but it was barely used."

 

"I think Liho didn't like that brand, that's why I didn't take it with me."

 

"Well, there's a shelter close from my place," Yelena said as she went back to the dressing room's door, "the cats there might be less picky."

 

Carol laughed, "Probably," she brought the clothes she selected and put them in the duffel bag, "why don't you adopt a dog there? Natasha said you wanted one."

 

"For now I don't feel like I can. In a few years, maybe."

 

"You should. Pets bring you a lot of joy."

 

Yelena smiled, "I noticed."

 

Carol sighed as she closed the duffel bag, which made Yelena wonder, "You don't want to take some of the pictures?"

 

Carol looked at the two walls covered in Polaroid photographs and shook her head, "I rather leave them here but I'm gonna take this," she said and took the Polaroid, "we'll make new ones!"

 

"Alright then! We can get going."

 

Carol nodded in agreement and the two of them made their way to the quinjet. A part of Carol was scared that Ross or one of his people would be there to arrest her but they saw no one outside the compound. They boarded in the jet and took off, Carol piloting at the highest speed she could to go back to Natasha faster.

 

Yelena didn't warn her sister that they had left to surprise her. She knew they were coming back after the press conference but had no exact indication of what time specifically and Yelena thought it would be good for her to not see them coming for once. Plus, she wanted to see Natasha's genuine reaction to her reunion with Carol.

 

Since they didn't have the car to go back to Yelena's house, they had to walk for fifteen minutes. Yelena told Carol on the way that they would arrive from the back of the house – which would surprise Natasha even more – and that she would take all the stuff they brought so Carol could be reunited with her girlfriend more freely.

 

Natasha must have heard the keys in the lock because she rushed into Carol's arms the second she entered the house.

 

"There you are," she exhaled as she held Carol so tight that the blonde struggled to breathe.

 

Seeing this beautiful scene, Yelena hastened to get the Polaroid and took a picture of two lovebirds. All the times she observed them together, she noted that Natasha loved to bury her face in the crook of Carol's neck and that the blonde couldn't get enough for the perfume of Natasha's shampoo. She also noticed that, often after a hug, Natasha and Carol could spent long minutes in silence, Carol with her arms warped around Natasha's waist while Natasha had her hands on Carol's chest. And they did it again, which gave Yelena the opportunity to take another photograph.

 

"I could sell these to the press, I'd be rich," Yelena joked as the couple looked in her direction.

 

"You would, but not for long because we would kill you," Natasha said, half joking, half serious.

 

"Carol said we'd make new ones, I thought we could start now," Yelena continued and handed her the pictures, "I have to say, as annoying as you can be, you are also an adorable couple."

 

Carol giggled, "A lot of people tell us that."

 

"I'm not surprised," Yelena muttered as she walked into her living room, Natasha and Carol following her, "So, what did you think of Carol's speech?" she asked when they were all seated.

 

Natasha looked at her girlfriend, "I think I couldn't have done it better myself and I'm really proud of you for the courage that you had to go in front of all these people."

 

"I have to say I wasn't so confident a few minutes before the conference but Yelena helped a lot," Carol said and looked at Yelena who smiled, "by the way, Pietro, Wanda, Tony, Sam and Maria said hi."

 

"Maria! I didn't think she'd be there."

 

"Me neither but she said that we , the Avengers, had to show a united front. And since she is our representative at the UN panel she had to be there."

 

Carol and Natasha continued to chat and laugh together. Yelena felt like she was not needed to tell what happened, she would eventually tell her sister, but for now she rather leave the couple alone.

 

Natasha noticed Yelena's departure and didn't want to stop her. She knew that her sister might need time alone and away from them. After a few more minutes of talking in the living room, Carol and Natasha went to their bedroom and talked more while cuddling with Liho. The black cat, as well as her owner, missed Carol so much that she purred from the moment she entered the room until she feel asleep.

 

As it was their habit, Natasha and Carol decided it was time for them to sleep when they noticed that Liho was already asleep. But, before that, Carol wanted to share a thought with her girlfriend.

 

"On the way back I thought a lot about everything that happened and our current situation. I came to conclusion that I needed some time away to get back on track with my mental health."

 

"Where do you want to go?" Natasha asked innocently.

 

"Skrullos."

Chapter 69: Skrullos

Chapter Text

Natasha was taken aback, she never thought Carol would want to go back to space. She was so surprised that she was just sitting there in bed, staring into space.

 

Carol knew that Natasha wouldn't take the news well but she didn't expect her to be completely silent. She didn't know what to say or do, she thought Natasha would tell her how she felt about it but a minute went by and nothing came out of her mouth.

 

After another minute, Carol slowly moved her hand, delicately took Natasha's and said, "Baby, please, say something."

 

Natasha's slightly shook her head and blinked, "What do you expect me to say? You what to go back to space, to be away from me again."

 

"What?" Carol exclaimed, "No no no, I don't want to be away from you."

 

"But you want to go to space."

 

"With you, yes," Carol said, "I want to take you to Skrullos with me. I know people who can get us there."

 

Natasha frowned, "With a spaceship?"

 

Carol chuckled, "Yeah, babe, with a spaceship. Teleportation doesn't actually exist unfortunately. I mean, not exactly."

 

"What do you mean not exactly?"

 

"There's a thing called jump point, you'll see when we go."

 

Natasha wanted to know more, about this jump point thing and Skrullos and space but Carol had had a very draining day, she needed to rest. After Carol promised that she would tell her more the next day, Natasha turned off the light and they both quickly fell asleep.

 

The next morning, before going downstairs to eat breakfast, Carol and Natasha talked for almost an hour about how the former imagined the whole trip. She knew a spaceship couldn't just land on Earth so they would ask T'Challa if it could land in his country. Carol was quite optimistic about this idea but not Natasha, Wakanda didn't want to open its border to the outside world a year ago, she didn't see how they could agree to open them to people from space.

 

As hard as they hated it, they would have to leave Liho on Earth. They both agreed to leave her to Yelena, even if she often said she didn't like cats, the couple caught her cuddling with the black cat a few times. When it came to how long they would stay there, Carol couldn't give a straight answer. She knew she needed to go back to Skrullos to see her friends, to feel like her old self again, but she didn't know how many time she wanted to stay.

 

Natasha assured she was fine to stay for six months there, although she didn't know how she would feel on another planet. She supposed that, as long as she was with Carol, everything would be fine for them both.

 

Now that they were in agreement about this trip, they had to have a conversation with Yelena. This decision was really unexpected therefore they had to explain it to her, and also ask her if she was okay to look after Liho while they'd be gone.

 

They didn't waste a minute and went downstairs, where Yelena was painting a wall of the kitchen for some reason.

 

"Ha! There you are," she exclaimed when she saw the couple, "Tell me what you think of the wall in lime, I thought it would brighten the room."

 

Carol nodded while Natasha replied, "Looks good."

 

"Knew it!"

 

Natasha and Carol went to the living room – that didn't get new painting (yet) – and Natasha called her sister, "Yel, can you come over here? There is something we wanna talk to you about."

 

"Coming," Yelena shouted.

 

When she walked in, Yelena had the handle of the paintbrush in her mouth and paint on her face. She sat down on the armchair facing Carol and Natasha, wiped her face with a towel and put the brush on it. Then, she looked up at her guests and frowned, "Your faces are scaring me. Who died?"

 

"Nobody died," Natasha assured, "we just want to tell you something."

 

After a gaze shared with Natasha, Carol began, "Natasha and I made a decision last night, following everything that happened around us recently."

 

"There is no other way to say it so I'm just gonna say it. We're gonna to spend some time off planet."

 

Yelena thought for a second that she misunderstood, but Carol's and Natasha's very serious faces disproved it, "Off planet? You're saying that, you, Natasha Romanoff, are going to space."

 

"Yes."

 

Yelena chuckled, "Never thought I'd hear that."

 

"So, we don't know how long we will stay but it'll be at least a few weeks. And we don't wanna take Liho with us, the trip would be too much for her so we thought that maybe you could look after her, if it's not too much to ask."

 

"Yes sure, I'll look after your cat," Yelena muttered and rolled her eyes.

 

"Yelena, are you sure you're okay about this?" Natasha asked.

 

"Yup, yeah, all good," Yelena replied and paused, "I just have one question."

 

"Go on."

 

"Should or should I not cancel the restaurant for Carol's birthday?"

 

"I don't know…" Carol said as she remembered that her birthday was in two days, "we are probably going to leave today…"

 

"You know what, just to be sure, I'll cancel it, since you rather be in space than here," Yelena said and left the room, and the house.

 

"Yelena…" Carol sighed and got on her feet to run after her but Natasha stopped her, "Let her go, I'll talk to her later. She needs some time to be upset freely."

 

Carol didn't like to let Yelena go away upset – neither did Natasha – but she know her better now and it was best to let her be mad on her own for a moment than confront her.

 

Not wanting to waste time, Natasha contacted T'Challa to know if he would accept to let a spaceship land in his country while Carol went to the bedroom to start packing. Knowing that Skrullos only had one weather (Carol's favourite weather, sunny but not too hot), Carol put shirts, T-shirts, shorts and jeans in the bag she was filling. She added pyjamas, underwear and a couple jackets for Natasha and everything was ready.

 

Natasha was just hanging up her call with T'Challa when Carol stepped back into the living room of Yelena's house, "T'Challa said we were welcomed whenever we wanted. He even offer to send a message via a Wakandan satellite."

 

"There is no need, I can contact them with my suit."

 

Natasha hummed and looked at the phone. Yelena had been away for half an hour now, she rarely left for more than that, even if she was very upset. Not a minute later, the couple heard the front door cracking and being shut. She entered the living room, glared at Carol and Natasha and spoke.

 

"If you leave for more than two months your cat will end up in the shelter. And you better get your ass back here, I've been negotiating with Melina and Alexei to have a family dinner early in the summer."

 

"Negotiating?" Carol asked, an eyebrow rose.

 

Yelena rolled her eyes, "They are back together and are apparently more annoyingly in love than you are. I had to force them to accept to leave Russia for a dinner."

 

There was a short silence, followed by a chuckle from Natasha, "Didn't know it was possible to be more annoyingly in love than us."

 

"I know, right! They are the worst," Yelena said and laughed too, "So, is that okay for you?" she continued in a more serious tone.

 

Carol and Natasha shared a glance before the latter replied, "Yeah. We didn't want to go for too long, anyway."

 

Natasha smiled and stepped forward to hug her sister, "We should be going soon," she said quietly, "the sooner we leave the sooner we're back," she added and winked as she took a step back.

 

Yelena chuckled, "True."

 

Carol joined the sisters and said, "You're driving us?"

 

Yelena smirked, "Of course," she muttered and stepped forward to give Carol a quick hug.

 

Carol was a bit surprised and not at all at the same time. She and Yelena grew closer in the few months she and Natasha spent at her house, they learnt how to care about one another but they never showed it, until this moment.

 

Natasha and Carol spent almost an hour in their room saying goodbye to Liho before being ready to leave. As Yelena drove the couple to the Quinjet, Carol talked about Skrullos, how great it was there and how Yelena would like it. Yelena seemed to be interested by the foreign planet but she said she wouldn't enjoy the trip to get there.

 

After their goodbyes to Yelena, Carol and Natasha stepped into the jet and flew in direction of Wakanda. The first thing Carol did was to contact Talos and asked him to come pick her and Natasha up. Surprisingly, Talos told Carol he could be there in a few hours, yet Skrullos was at least two days away from Earth. Carol supposed he was running some kind of errand, that happened some times, they just got very lucky.

 

It was late in Wakanda when the couple landed but, despite that, T'Challa was there to welcome them.

 

"I am assuming you are not staying for the night," he said as he stepped in the jet and greeted them with hugs.

 

"Yeah, we are not staying," Carol confirmed, "My friend Talos said he would be there shortly so we're probably gonna stay in there until we get another text from him."

 

"Will they have to land here?" T'Challa asked, "if so, I will have to open the barrier protecting the city."

 

"Depends, how does your barrier works?"

 

While Carol and T'Challa exchanged on teleportation and Vibranium barriers, Natasha rested her head one Carol's shoulder and tried to rest. She didn't know how long it would take to get to Skrullos or how flying in a spaceship would affect her body but she rather rest now.

 

In the end, Carol and T'Challa concluded that it was better if the King of Wakanda opened the section of the barrier on top of the tarmac, Carol not wanting to experience the meeting of a body being teleported through a Vibranium barrier.

 

They had to wait another hour before getting news from Talos. He said their ride was waiting for the right coordinates to teleport them in the ship. T'Challa gave them to Carol and hugged her and Natasha before letting them go.

 

Natasha got very nervous when Carol took her hand and told her to keep her eyes open. She didn't know how teleporting would feel and was a bit scared to find out. But Carol was confident beside her, and she wouldn't put her through something she couldn't handle. So Natasha held Carol's hand as much as she could and forced herself to keep her eyes opened.

 

When suddenly a warm light appeared around them, Natasha felt her body levitating. It wasn't like what Carol told her of zero gravity though, her hair was not hovering, she didn't feel like she weighted nothing, but she felt like she was in a vacuum. Soon, she couldn't see the ground under her feet and Wakanda disappeared in the middle of the African continent. She even saw the ozone layer that protected Earth before finally being in the spaceship.

 

Natasha only realised that she had been holding her breath the whole time when she realised a long sigh. Carol looked at her and smiled, knowing that the travel time from Earth to the ship was twenty seconds long at best but, to Natasha, it must have felt like a minute.

 

"Welcome to the Benatar," said a voice Carol didn't recognised.

 

"Who are you?" she asked as she stepped forward to get a better look at the people hidden in the dark of the ship.

 

"We are the Guardians of the Galaxy," a man, that looked very human, told them.

 

At that, Carol chuckled, "The Guardians of what now?"

 

"Of the Galaxy!" he repeated louder, "Damn, was I too quiet?"

 

"You're never quiet," commented a very annoyed raccoon looking creature.

 

While the man and the racoon started to argue, a woman with green skin stepped forward and gave Natasha and Carol a forced smile, "I apologise for these idiots' behaviour. We've been sent by Talos to come and pick you up, not what we usually do but space has been quiet recently so here we are."

 

"Can we clarify something. You said you are the Guardians of the Galaxy, what does that mean?"

 

"Well, we fly around and help people that ask for it, like you use to do, Captain."

 

"Oh! So you know me."

 

The green woman shrugged, "We've heard of you. The universe's savior. Unkillable woman. We've heard it all, until you completely vanished like five years ago."

 

"It was six years ago," another woman, blue this time with a very dark voice, commented as she stepped out of a corner, "You were the person that everybody praised, and then you disappeared."

 

"I'm not going to explain myself, especially to strangers. I did what I wanted to do, that's it."

 

"No judgement, Captain," the blue woman said, "We are just telling you what we know."

 

"And what you know is that people are disappointed in me?"

 

"Basically."

 

"Great," Carol sighed and turned to Natasha, "I love this trip already. I was supposed to think about something else than Captain Marvel and here we are, with people that I don't know, making me feel guilty."

 

"You don't know these people?" Natasha asked, slightly worried that she and Carol might have been kidnapped. Although Carol was so strong that she could get them out of there easily.

 

"No! These people aren't Skrulls. God! Am I that bad at describing people? Did I forget to mention Skrulls are green?"

 

Someone coughed, stopping Natasha and Carol in their conversation, "Sorry to interrupt. We have to get up there and fly to Skrullos."

 

"Oh yes. What route are we taking?" Carol asked the racoon, who seemed to be in charge.

 

"Well, there is a new jump point, about three hours away from here and it leads to Xandar. Then, we'll have about twenty hours to Skrullos, if everything goes smoothly," the racoon explained as he led the couple to the cockpit of the ship.

 

"What do you mean by if it goes smoothly?" Natasha asked, more worried now.

 

The racoon chuckled, "Never been to space, have you?" Natasha replied by shaking her head, "Well, you better not throw up on my ship."

 

"That doesn't answer my question."

 

When the racoon groaned, Natasha understood that she wouldn't get an answer from it. The other people around them didn't seem very talkative either so Carol took Natasha aside, "There's a lot of comet between Xandar and Skrullos. Usually everything is fine but its been reported that some comet might one day collide, which hasn't happened yet."

 

"So basically, the more time passes the more likely it is for these comets to collide?"

 

"Yes. But nobody ever bothered to calculate when because it is a rarely used route."

 

"And yet, here we go…"

 

Carol smiled, she was a bit amused by Natasha's behaviour. Usually so confident and in control, the redhead had a hard time adapting to this new environment. As much as Carol was enjoying it, she had to be a good girlfriend and pulled Natasha into a hug to comfort her.

 

"Everything will be fine, I promise," she whispered to her ear, "Now, let's get to our seats."

 

They were seated behind the whole crew, right in the middle of the ship where they had a perfect view. Natasha sat down and relaxed as she saw Earth. It was so strange to see the planet from there, it felt like she had never been on it. Right at the second, Natasha realised how little was her existence compared to the entire world, but it also validated her feelings in a way, she had to enjoy every second of her little life, because when she would die, the rest of the world would keep going.

 

When they began to fly await, Natasha had a thought for all her friends back on Earth and then focused on what was before her eyes. They flew past the moon, and Natasha got to see the hidden face of the moon. As they got further and further away, Natasha got a little nervous that she might never come back, but then she remembered that Carol always found her way back to Earth, so they would too.

 

Space was another kind of beautiful, it was different than landscapes or music or people. Natasha couldn't put words on it, it was simply magnificent. All the stars and the planets, all different, with colours she had never seen, it all mesmerised her. While Natasha was contemplating the beauty of space, Carol was looking at Natasha and grinned as she saw how purely happy she was to discover it.

 

But Carol had something to explain to her and pulled her out of her day dreaming by taking her hand, "Babe," she said softly and the redhead hummed in response, "I have to tell you about the jump point."

 

When she heard that word, Natasha turned her head to Carol and listened closely. Carol told her what it was, "basically teleportation" and explained that it was hard on people's bodies. The rule was to only take one a day or you could get hurt, which scared Natasha a little. She wondered if the fact that she was from Earth could affect her body differently but Carol assured that it would all be fine.

 

The time to take the jump point came quickly, too quickly for Natasha. She was very stressed about it and started to understand why the racoon told her to not throw up. When the man counted down to zero, Natasha grasped Carol's hand but made sure to keep her eyes opened. And what would have she missed if she had closed them, a magical show. There were so many lights, so many colours that Natasha didn't know where to look. The moment she fixated on a point, they were out of the jump point and close to the planet Xandar.

 

"Wasn't so bad, was it?" Carol asked her with a smile.

 

"It was quite something," Natasha replied as she saw Carol getting out of her seat.

 

She wanted to do the same but was stopped by another woman that she had not seen yet, who had antennas on her head, "I wouldn't do that if I were you," she said.

 

"Why?"

 

"The first time I took a jump point, I couldn't walk for a few hours after it."

 

Natasha gasped, she didn't feel like it had affected her body but maybe she was wrong. When the woman was gone, she checked her heartbeat and her limbs to see if everything was in the right place and moving.

 

Carol saw her and chuckled, "You're okay babe," she assured, "you would have passed out if something went wrong. Come on, Gamora is going to show us our room for the trip."

 

Natasha noted two things, they were going to be able to sleep and one of the women was named Gamora. As she followed Carol, who was carrying their bags, they passed by another man, who was only wearing shorts and was standing still in a hallway. Natasha ignored him and joined Carol and the green woman – Gamora – inside the room.

 

"This is Peter's and my room," Gamora said, "but we are letting you have it for the trip."

 

The couple thanked Gamora and Carol closed the door went she stepped out of the room.

 

"You should probably get some rest," Carol told Natasha, "You might be able to walk normally but the first jump point is always hard to handle."

 

"I feel fine," Natasha assured as she made her way to the window, "I'll rest later. For now I want to enjoy the view," she added and sat on the window sill.

 

Carol knew she was right but she wanted to let Natasha have this nice moment first. So, instead of forcing her to go to bed, Carol joined Natasha at the window and sat behind her.

 

"You've been on this planet obviously," Natasha said as Xandar was slowly getting smaller.

 

Carol kissed Natasha's temple before answering, "I have, yes."

 

"What is it like?"

 

As they cuddled, Carol told Natasha everything she knew about Xandar.

 

Natasha resited for a couple hours, but she eventually was too tired and fell asleep in Carol's arms. Carol was surprised Natasha could stay up that long, after the day they had on Earth, the beginning of the trip and the jump point, she thought Natasha would have jumped on the opportunity to sleep. Carol carried Natasha to bed and joined her for a restful nap.

 

When Carol woke up, Natasha was still fast asleep so she left the room and went to the cockpit. The whole team was there except the man, and Carol went to the only person she knew the name, Gamora.

 

"You guys never sleep?" she asked with an amused tone.

 

"Do you?" Gamora asked back seriously.

 

"Few hours a day, yes."

 

"Well, we do too, just not right now. We have to be on high alert with these comets."

 

"I could go out there and make sure we won't meet one on route," Carol offered.

 

To that, the racoon replied, "Nah, we're all good, Captain. Gamora and I are being vigilant."

 

"All right, then," Carol exclaimed, "You can call me Carol, by the way."

 

"I like Captain, makes you girlboss," Gamora commented.

 

Carol chuckled and continued, "What are your names? I know Gamora but not y'all's."

 

"I'm Mantis," said the woman with the antennas.

 

"Rocket," replied the racoon.

 

The blue woman groaned, "Nebula."

 

"I am Groot," said a small tree with feet.

 

"Drax," told the last person.

 

"And Peter… well, you know who it is, now," added Gamora.

 

"Nice to meet you all," Carol cheered, "I'm Carol, as I said earlier and my girlfriend is Natasha."

 

They all replied with a mix of "you too" and "likewise", except the tree who said "I am Groot" again, and they went back to their activities.

 

Seeing that she was not of use, Carol went back to the bedroom and joined Natasha in bed. She must have fallen asleep again because, when she woke up this time, Natasha was awake.

 

"Hey, my love," the redhead purred as Carol opened her eyes, "you left the bed at some point, didn't you?" she asked.

 

Carol was not surprised that Natasha felt that she left, she was so sensitive to moves, even the slightest ones. Carol didn't even reply, instead, she smiled and pulled Natasha into a kiss, "Went to see if I could help them with the ship but they have it handled."

 

Natasha smirked, "Perfect then, it means we can stay in there and fool around."

 

Carol and Natasha spent the rest of the trip on the bedroom and enjoyed some "them time". It was one of the reasons why Carol wanted to leave Earth, to be alone with Natasha, even if it would be complicated for them to get this kind of moment of Skrullos. Carol got to tell Natasha what she learnt about the Guardians, so basically only their names, but Natasha appreciated to know them.

 

For the last minutes of the trip, the couple had to go to the cockpit to safe for landing. Carol felt her heart getting warmer and warmer as they approached Skrullos. She had missed her friends so much, she had seen them a couple years ago but in a very stressful context. This time, she would get to enjoy being with them for a few weeks and wouldn't be nervous in any way.

 

After polite goodbyes, Carol and Natasha left the Guardians of the Galaxy and went to the rear hatch.

 

"Ready?" asked Carol as it opened.

 

Natasha nodded, "You?"

 

Carol smiled, "Can't wait."

 

At first blinded by the sudden light coming from outside, Natasha and Carol then saw that a dozen of Skrulls were there and they cheered their welcomes when they saw them. Talos and Soren were at the front of the group of course and looked happier than the others.

 

Carol couldn't wait another second and rushed to hug her friends while Natasha slowly walked out of the Benatar. She observed Carol as she gave every single person a hug before presenting Natasha to them.

 

"Guys! This is my girlfriend, Natasha."

 

Most of the group waved at her and said hi. Smiling, she waved back and they then some left until it was only Talos and Soren there.

 

"It truly is an honour to meet you, Natasha," said Talos as he stepped forward and offered his hand, "after all this time, Carol finally found someone that she's willing to stop being a hero for."

 

"My mission isn't completely done," Natasha replied as she shook his hand, "she promised we would quit but we haven't yet," she continued and looked at Carol with playful eyes.

 

"I'm sure it will happen, sooner than later," Soren told her and shook her hand.

 

"Can you all stop the conspiracy, please?" Carol laughed, "let's go to your place."

 

Natasha discovered with surprise the Skrulls habitat. She didn't expect anything of it but could have only picture something that she had seen on Earth and it was far from it. Skrullos seemed to be a be a very small planet considering how close was the horizon. It also felt that way because all the people there knew each other, and Carol greeted every one of them with their names. It made sense in a way, Natasha remembered what Carol told her about the Skrulls and how the Kree almost annihilated their whole population.

 

After fifteen minutes of walking, they arrived at Talos' and Soren's home. They had a nice house, outside of the centre of the city with a big garden in front of it and in the back as well.

 

Inside the house was Talos' and Soren's daughter, making dinner. Basically everything was ready on the table, Natasha thought they would eat right away – she was very hungry – but Carol pulled her into a corridor.

 

"I have to show you something," she said and opened a door, "or rather someone."

 

The opened door revealed a bedroom that looked uninhabited, but on its bed was an orange cat, sleeping rolled up in a ball. Natasha had heard of this cat – that wasn't really a cat – Goose, Carol had talked about her after they adopted Liho.

 

"She's sleeping so we better not disturb her," Carol murmured, and Natasha remembered something about this animal having tentacles somehow, "Flerkens really don't like to be woken up."

 

"We should leave then. I'll meet her another time."

 

"You're right," Carol said with her usual tone after she had closed the door.

 

She was about to go back to the kitchen when Natasha took a hold of her hand and stopped her, "You know, you already looked better when we were in the ship but now you are glowing. I can tell that being there is good for you."

 

"I'm really glad to see them."

 

"I don't think it's just about your friends. You don't feel the same pressure here, you can do what you want, unlike when we're on Earth."

 

Carol gave Natasha a smile, "It's true, but it doesn't mean I rather live here. Earth is our home, it's were I want to build a family with you."

 

"I know, my love. I'm just glad to see you so happy again."

 

This time, Carol smiled and leaned in to kiss Natasha's lips, "Let's go eat."

 

Carol had told Natasha about Skrullos dinner, she knew that it would all look delicious but also way too much for her stomach but she had to try a bit of everything. Talos and his family caught up with Carol's latest stories and were very shocked to hear about what happened in Germany.

 

Natasha got the chance to talk with Soren about her idea of creating an orphanage. Soren took care of many kids that lost their parents during the war with the Kree, before Carol intervened she and a few fellow Skrulls were living in Mar-Vell's lab and rising these kids all by themselves so she had some experience in that matter. For the administrative part, Natasha already knew she would ask the help of Pepper, as the CEO of a big company she would have great advice for her.

 

As dinner went on, Natasha started to feel the effects of the jump point on her body. She was suddenly very tired, even after her eight hours of sleep, and her eye lids were getting heavier and heavier. And the fact that her stomach was full was not helping, she really felt like she could fall asleep right on this table.

 

Good thing for her was that dinner was almost over and her hosts were insisting on not letting her or Carol help clearing the table so she would soon be able to get to bed. When Soren offered Natasha a hot drink – that she described as Terrian tea but much better – Natasha kindly refused and leaned to Carol's ear.

 

"Do you think we could go to bed soon? I'm very tired," she whispered.

 

Carol looked at her with compassionate eyes, "We're gonna go outside to chat some more, you can come with us and nap or go straight to bed."

 

Natasha didn't take much time to choose, "Napping on your chest sounds good."

 

They finished dinner in the same euphoric atmosphere, laughed, told more stories. When they were done eating and had cleared the table, the five of them went outside on the patio. While the Skrull family sat on the deck chairs, Carol led Natasha to her usual spot, the hammock chair under the tree. She used to nap there and, considering the weak face Natasha had, she could use one herself. Carol sat down first and then Natasha sat comfortably in her lap, the side of her head resting on Carol's chest.

 

As Talos and Soren kept the conversation going, Carol could feel Natasha falling asleep on her chest. With a smile, Carol pressed a kiss on Natasha's forehead and listened to what her friends were saying.

 

"How is my old friend Fury doing?" Talos asked.

 

"I- I wouldn't know," Carol wavered, "I last saw him in 2015 during the Ultron crisis."

 

"You haven't seen him in two years!" exclaimed Soren.

 

"Nope, he's been absent, and I'm not sure it would be good for me to be in contact with him."

 

"Why?"

 

Carol took a deep breathe, "I've come to understand a lot of things about myself recently, about my past and my initial trauma from my childhood and I've realised that Nick triggers a lot of bad memories, my "daddy issues" as Natasha calls it."

 

"I never thought I would hear that," Talos commented, "the two of you were the duo, it's sad to think that you aren't friends anymore."

 

"His position has a boss to me kind of ruined everything. It put a lot of pressure onto me, so much that I felt too many emotions at one point. It's not exactly his fault though, he had to do this, put me in charge, but the consequences of his actions led me here."

 

"You don't look so sad about it," Soren noted.

 

"No. I think I'm okay with it. I got time to process it."

 

"Well, that's good," Talos said to conclude this conversation.

 

The subject quickly went back to Natasha and Carol, "In the end you didn't tell us why you two came here," Soren pointed out.

 

"I needed time away from everything and I couldn't leave without Natasha," Carol replied and chuckled, "I have to say, I was kinda scared that she might not want to come."

 

"Scared?" Talos' daughter wondered, "What happened to fearless Carol?"

 

"I guess I discovered there are things to lose…" Carol said and looked at sleepy Natasha in her arms, "And I really can't lose 'em."

 

"I understand that," Talos commented, he experienced that twenty two years ago when Carol just became Captain Marvel.

 

"What about the other fears?" Soren asked.

 

"Well… When I was flying around the universe, helping people, I wasn't thinking about myself at all, which might sound good but is actually bad. I never got to reflect on my past even though I knew it affected me a lot. Since Nick called me back, I got time to think about it and I discovered a lot about myself, maybe more than everything that I knew before. Today, I know my traumas, I know my fears and what I want for my life and I think that is a much better way to live, even if it hurts some times."

 

Feeling Natasha moving in her arms, Carol didn't go further in her explanation and instead excused herself, "We had a long ride, wouldn't hurt to get some sleep for me too."

 

"Of course," Talos said, "you know which room is yours."

 

Carol smiled before standing up. She carried Natasha in her arms as if she weighted nothing, the redhead fast asleep the whole way. Their bags were already in the bedroom when Carol entered, Talos had surely brought them there. As carefully as possible, Carol sat down on the bed and held Natasha and few more minutes before she slowly awoke her.

 

"Baby," she whispered and kissed her nose, "it's time for bed and I know you don't like to sleep in your clothes."

 

Natasha groaned as she put her hand in front of her eyes to protect them from the light, "Is it normal to be that tired after a flight in space?"

 

"Kind of. The jump point has a big part in it. You get used to it eventually."

 

"Don't wanna do it again," Natasha moaned as she burier her face in Carol's neck.

 

"We'll have to if we wanna go back to Earth," Carol commented.

 

"I'll allow it."

 

Carol laughed discreetly as she tucked a strand of hair behind Natasha's ear. She could still barely see Natasha's face, that was mostly hidden in the crook of her neck. After a soft stroke of her thumb on Natasha's cheek, Carol reached for one of their bags and pulled a pyjama out of it. With some help from Natasha, she undressed and dressed her before Natasha crawled under the blankets.

 

While Natasha went back to sleep, Carol put some of their stuff in the drawers and bathroom before joining her girlfriend to bed.

 

As she laid there, with Natasha snuggled up beside her, Carol realised how lucky she was. To be in space, in one of her favourite places, with the love of her life was something she never thought possible. It's never even been a fantasy because, before meeting Natasha, Carol didn't think once that she would fall in love. Of course, when she was young she imagined her future life with a partner but then Captain Marvel came along and the future life with a partner went away.

 

Carol knew very well how important this life with Natasha was for her, so important that she would be ready to give everything up to answer to her desire. One of Natasha's – and Carol's – desire was to one day quit the whole superhero world and, here in this bed on Skrullos, Carol could very well imagine quitting soon, maybe sooner than everyone expected it.

Chapter 70: Back to Earth

Chapter Text

After almost two months of break on Skrullos, Carol and Natasha decided that it was time for them to go back home. They both got the time to reflect on their lives, personally and as a couple.

 

Carol finally accepted that she was putting too much weight on her shoulders about Earth and that she wasn't its only protector, all the Avengers were. With the new generation, they had the means to defeat big threats, and if needed Carol could always join a fight. She also talked a lot about her issues with her parents, with Natasha, Soren and Talos. She told them things she had always kept to herself, things that seemed small and insignificant, but their number was the source of the trauma. Carol's father was belittling her everyday about the smallest things, her face when she woke up or the noises she made when she was eating. Natasha said that just one of these comments were unnecessary and rude but the whole thing in itself was clearly psychological abuse. When it came to Nick or Tony, Carol could easily say that they weren't triggering her because of what they were saying but because of how they were saying it. Their tones were the triggers and she would have a conversation with them in the future in order to avoid these triggers.

 

It took Natasha a couple weeks but she eventually opened up about how she felt when she saw her mother's grave. As overwhelming as it was, she got the truth thanks to the old lady and it gave her closure. She knew what really happened in her childhood, this blurry past was now clear. What she lived in the Red Room would always be present, it left its mark on Natasha but she was not so afraid of it anymore, because she knew it was really over.

 

As for their relationship, Natasha and Carol took an afternoon to talk about things that might have bothered them once but that they never mentioned because they didn't want to create conflict. Natasha told Carol that she understood why she worried about her and she was glad that she did but sometimes Carol's worries were making Natasha feel worse than her real problems. Especially since they visited Natasha's mother's grave, she felt like Carol was always looking at her with concerned eyes when she felt fine, which made Natasha doubt her own feelings. Carol apologised and said that she only wanted to take care of Natasha, which she understood and didn't hold against her. Carol basically reproached her for the opposite. Natasha was often letting Carol handling her problems on her own until Carol would come to her and ask for help. But Carol never really knew how to ask of help and so, when she felt bad, she kept it all for herself until it all blew up in her head. Carol asked Natasha to be more insistent when she was seeing that Carol was not doing okay, because that was the easiest way for Carol to ask for help, when it was already partly offered to her.

 

Beside this self-caring, Carol and Natasha got to enjoy Talos and his family. Natasha shared more of her ideas for the orphanage and Carol said she would always support her in that project. Natasha also mentioned that she wanted to let her hair grow out again, even if she was still on the run on Earth, she wanted to feel good in her body and having her red hair was a part of it.

 

Again, Natasha and Carol flew in the Guardians' Benatar to go back to Earth. This time, they tried to chat with them, to get to know them better and Carol also wanted to make sure they were skilled when it came to helping people. She was quite satisfied with what they said and would be able to sleep peacefully knowing that a group of people was there to help around in space like she used to do.

 

Before the jump point, Carol sent a message to T'Challa to warn him of their arrival.

 

As the jump point got closer, Natasha prepared herself for this moment. This time, she wanted to enjoy it fully, to take in the view that she might never see ever again. A part of her wanted to go back to space one day though, maybe when they'd have kids grown enough to go. Space was a big part of Carol's life, she would talk about it to their kids so Natasha wouldn't be against showing them for real how it is.

 

The time in the jump point felt longer now that Natasha knew what to expect. She saw all the colours she missed during the first trip, and when it was over, she closed her eyes and pictured them in her head.

 

"You good, babe?" Carol asked and squeezed Natasha's hand.

 

Natasha opened her eyes and smiled, "I'm good," she replied and squeezed Carol's hand back.

 

The couple spent the rest of the trip at the window, Natasha enjoying the view while Carol held her from behind.

 

"I understand why you love it," Natasha commented.

 

Carol didn't reply. She did love space, it was so beautiful and unique, but she loved Natasha more. Natasha was who she loved the most, she was her everything, and Carol wanted to be wherever Natasha was. If being in space meant not being with Natasha, than Carol didn't want it.

 

When it was time for them to leave, Carol and Natasha thanked the Guardians and gave them warm goodbyes. This time, instead of using the sort-of-teleportation thing that got them to the Benatar, Carol offered to fly Natasha down to Earth. Gamora gave Natasha a breathing kit so she could breathe in space.

 

Natasha was carrying their two bags and Carol was carrying Natasha, bridal style, "Ready?" the blonde asked.

 

"Yep," Natasha replied and looked back at Gamora who made a sign to her chest. Natasha touched her chest and activated the breathing kit.

 

The hatch opened and revealed Earth and its African continent. Natasha couldn't tell exactly where Wakanda was but Carol seemed quite confident about it when she stepped out of the Benatar. Natasha had the wind in her hair as Carol flew closer and closer to Earth and soon, they had landed on the Wakandan soil.

 

To their big surprise, T'Challa and Bucky were not the only two to wait for them.

 

"Sam! What the hell are you doing here?" Natasha exclaimed after Carol put her down.

 

"Just visiting my friend James here," he replied, seemingly joking, "and my other friends happened to come back when I was about to leave so I stayed a bit more."

 

"Which is annoying, I was looking forward to him leaving," Bucky added and hugged Natasha and Carol.

 

"Must have been fun to have these two around," Natasha commented as she looked at T'Challa who chuckled, "My favourite time," he replied ironically and greeted his guests, "Tell us all about space."

 

Carol let Natasha tell their friends about seeing Earth from space, the jump point, all the planets they flew by and Skrullos. They were all captivated by what she was describing and expressed their desire to one day go to space. Natasha encouraged them to do so if they had the opportunity, and assumed that, with the Wakandan technology, maybe T'Challa would soon.

 

Their conversation ended just as they reached the door of Carol's and Natasha's bedroom. There, T'Challa excused himself and let Sam and Bucky with the couple.

 

"Wanna come in?" Carol asked them, "we can talk some more."

 

"Aren't you tired after this jump point thing?" a concerned Bucky asked, especially to Natasha who replied by shaking her head, "If I need to sleep I'll kick you out."

 

The four of them entered, went to the window while Carol tossed the bags on the bed and then joined them. Carol sat with Natasha on the couch, the redhead – who's red was starting to show up again – resting her head of Carol's shoulder while Sam and Bucky took the armchairs.

 

"So what were you actually doing here Sam? Because somehow I don't believe that you came for James," Natasha began.

 

"I decided to take the shield," he said very slowly, "and I thought it would be better to train here where nobody can see me rather than at the compound."

 

"What he actually did was coming here unannounced, carrying the shield weirdly in his hands and said "do you really think I can be Captain America?" with a horrified face," Bucky clarified as he laughed.

 

Sam looked embarrassed, "I just wanted to make sure I was worthy of that title."

 

"Of course you are, you just have to believe it!" Bucky exclaimed.

 

As they watched Bucky and Sam bickering, Carol leaned closer to Natasha and whispered, "They look like an old couple somehow."

 

Natasha nodded, "Yeah, like more annoying than we are."

 

"Yeah…"

 

When Sam and Bucky were done, they looked at the couple, as if asking them to pick a side.

 

"So, have you trained with the shield?" was the only thing Carol wanted to know.

 

"Yesterday, yes. It's harder than I imagined."

 

"He doesn't understand physics," Bucky teased.

 

"Shut up," Sam replied and punched him in his metal arm, which considering the face he made must have hurt.

 

"Do you know when you want to become Captain America?" Natasha asked, ignoring that Bucky was still teasing Sam.

 

"I need more training with the shield first. I also want to talk about all that with Dr. Odé to get ready for it. Shouldn't be long."

 

"Sounds good," Carol commented and turned to Bucky, "What about you? Any news?" she asked with a smirk on her face, hoping he would talk about the test.

 

"Well," Bucky started as he scratched the back of his neck and sat up, "did the test Ayo. Apparently I'm healed."

 

"That's amazing!" Carol exclaimed.

 

"You must be relieved," added Natasha.

 

"You didn't tell me," complained Sam.

 

"It was a real relief, yeah," Bucky continued, "hearing these words and feeling that nothing was happening inside my head… it was like I was truly free."

 

"We are very happy for you, James," Natasha said as she reached for his shoulder and gave him a supportive touch.

 

Bucky talked a bit more about the test, how he felt when he heard the words, how scared he was to turn into the Winter Soldier and how happy he was to still be himself when Ayo said the last word. It was a feeling nobody could understand.

 

The couple didn't want to ask more questions to Bucky about how he was feeling, they could tell that what he said was already a lot for him.

 

Before a silence could fall on the group, Sam spoke, "I thought you'd want to know that the cop who killed Maria will officially spend the rest of his life in prison."

 

"Good," was the only thing Carol could reply without getting emotional.

 

"What about the others?" Natasha asked.

 

"Apparently the Internal Audit have been looking deeper in the precinct they all come from and their captain is dirty so it's been understood that one of them would go back to work to take him down."

 

"But they will still go to prison, right?" Bucky wondered.

 

Sam nodded, "The young one is most likely to get back to take the captain down since he took a deal. He got eighteen months in prison, the others seven years because of him."

 

"Good riddance," Natasha said, "people like that shouldn't be free."

 

"Hopefully it will make things change. We can't have racist people be cops."

 

"We can't have racist people, period," Carol concluded and changed the subject, "What about the team? How are Wanda, Pietro and Vision doing?"

 

"They are okay. I think Wanda and Vision are finally a thing."

 

"Really?!" Natasha exclaimed.

 

Carol chuckled, "Took them long enough."

 

"Says who?" Sam commented, "Friendly reminder that I thought you and Natasha were dating when we met, yet you weren't."

 

"We were literally four days away from getting together."

 

"And we could have been dating sooner, it was just not the right time for me. I needed time."

 

"Well, maybe Wanda and Vision needed time," Sam wisely pointed out.

 

They were all surprised by his smart intervention, "I mean… you're probably right," Carol eventually said, "I'm glad they found each other, it's important to have a person you can rely on."

 

If both Sam and Bucky agreed, they were still looking for their person, their new person. They used to have one, but they both passed away, and now they are alone in the world, both looking for their person.

 

Natasha wanted to tell them to get their shit together and see that they have their new person right beside them but she was getting tired and let out a yawn instead.

 

"We should let you rest," Bucky said and got up when he saw Natasha's tired face, "have fun in Canada," he added and waited for Sam, who didn't understand that they had to leave because Natasha was tired, "Huh? Oh, yeah, bye guys," he eventually stammered and followed Bucky.

 

"We agree that there's some weird tension between them?" a sleepy Natasha asked.

 

Carol chuckled, "Pretty sure they haven't realised it yet."

 

"They definitely haven't."

 

They decided to take a two hours nap before leaving because it was the middle of the day and they didn't want to get jet lagged too much. They also really missed Yelena and Liho and wanted to get back to them as quickly as possible.

 

Before sleeping, they sent a text to Yelena to tell her when she would have to pick them up at the landing point. But they overslept, didn't hear their alarm and woke up an hour and a half late. In a hurry, they went to the jet and flew in direction of Canada. At first, Carol forgot to turn on the stealth mode, too agitated to think straight. After she noticed and activated it, she and Natasha took a moment to calm down and stop panicking for no reason.

 

Yes, they overslept and were late, that could happen to anybody. And yes, Yelena would be pissed, but she probably missed the couple a lot as well and wouldn't be mad for too long.

 

It was late in Canada when Natasha and Carol landed. Knowing Yelena, she must have left after seeing how late they were and they would have to apologise for it.

 

When they walked in the house, they made an effort to be as discreet as possible since Yelena had an even lighter sleep than Natasha. With the flash light of her phone, Carol enlightened their way to their bedroom.

 

As they stepped in the living room, Carol and Natasha saw Yelena on the couch, deeply asleep, with Liho, asleep as well, on her belly. Silently laughing, Carol took a picture of this incongruous scene and joined Natasha upstairs.

 

They could have discussed about this unexpected moment but they were both tired, and they would get to tease Yelena about it in the morning.

 

Back in their bed, they laid down and fell asleep in each other's arms.

Chapter 71: Healed

Chapter Text

Normalcy was a vague concept to Carol and Natasha, they might have had an idea of how it could be but never in their lives did they have it. Until they moved to Yelena's.

 

They had routines more than once, in the tower, at the compound, even in the Finland trailer, but living in this house was different. It felt like they were normal people, like they had never been Avengers. It had only been two months since they got back from Skrullos, they could have struggled to adapt, but turned out that living so differently for a couple months made them realise how much they loved their Earth life style.

 

Of course, it could be better. Natasha was still not allowed to go outside, Carol and Yelena not wanting to take any risk. It was hard some days for Natasha to stay inside, the garden was not always enough space for her. When that happened, the only thing that calmed her was gardening. Natasha discovered that she wasn't so bad at it, and she enjoyed making flower beds. Yelena didn't mind, she actually even encouraged Natasha to maintain her garden because she never found the strength to do it herself, it was a dump until Natasha started her activities.

 

When Natasha wasn't suffocating inside, she was doing research for her orphanage project. She got in contact with Pepper for some administrative details and found out where she could get founding. Theoretically, she had enough information to build a project but, in the reality, her project would never exist if she was a fugitive her whole life.

 

Sometimes, she thought about the eventuality of turning herself in and what could happen to her. She even had a talk with Carol about it but Carol was adamant, she would never let Natasha do that. It would be a dumb move from Yelena's point of view. After everything that happened, turning herself in now would only make things worse, and the only way for Natasha to get her life back would be by being pardoned somehow. That might happen, if the Avengers needed hers and Carol's help to save the planet, maybe she could get pardoned, but as long as she wasn't, Natasha could only dream of this project.

 

As the weeks passed, Natasha realised that it had been more than a year since the fall of the Red Room and an entire year since she went to her mother ' s grave. During these three hundred and sixty five days, Natasha only had a couple panic attacks and her general anxiety state had reach ed a low level like never before. When she talked to Carol about it, the blonde shared that she felt much better as well. For her, it had only been two months, since they came back to Earth, but now she was feeling well, like she used to feel when she was flying all over space.

 

Even if they felt healed, they wanted to make sure of it, so they invited their therapist to have a very long chat with them about everything that happened since the Accords.

 

They paid for their therapists' plane tickets and Carol and Yelena went to the airport to pick them up. Carol gave them both a hug because she had not seen them for more than a year and she had missed them. It might sound weird that she missed hers and her girlfriend's therapist but it was the truth. They both became close to the couple, to the point where they could even call them friends.

 

Yelena introduced herself as they got into the car and Dr. Wittayer was glad to finally put a face on the name. She had heard a lot about kid Yelena but nothing about adult Yelena since Natasha only talked to her therapist once after seeing Yelena again.

 

As Yelena drove back to her house, Carol tried to get some informations about Wanda from Dr. Wittayer, but the therapist wasn't a fool and didn't reveal anything.

 

When they got to the house, Natasha was waiting for them at the door and she rushed to give her therapist a hug, "Is it weird that I missed you, Roxanne?" she asked as she giggled.

 

"I don't know," replied the doctor as she laughed, "might be a little."

 

Natasha pulled out of the hug and smiled, "Well, I still did!"

 

"That's Stockholm syndrome, Natasha," Yelena joked as she entered her house and invited the doctors in, "I'm gonna make some tea," she added and left for the kitchen.

 

In the living room, Carol invited Dr. Odé and Wittayer to sit while Natasha went to the kitchen to help Yelena. After the sisters brought the hot drinks, Yelena left the four of them for their talk.

 

"So, it's been a while since we saw you both," Dr. Odé began.

 

"Yeah. I guess some of us changed a little," Carol said.

 

"I love the new hair colour, doc," Natasha told her therapist.

 

"And yours," replied Dr. Wittayer.

 

"When you will all be done with the compliments, maybe we can start talking about why we are here," Dr. Odé interrupted with a firm but friendly tone.

 

"Yes… why we're there," Carol began and shared a gaze with Natasha who smiled to support her, "Did you two talk about what we last told you on the phone."

 

"We shouldn't have, but we did," Dr. Wittayer replied, "since we didn't know when or if we would see you again, we discussed about what you told us."

 

"And concluded that you did a lot work on your own," added Dr. Odé, "we are very proud of you for that."

 

Carol and Natasha both blushed at the compliment, "Thank you," replied Natasha.

 

"And we did more work since," Carol added, "a little trip in space, a lot of talking between us, we took on some new boundaries."

 

Dr. Wittayer laughed, "That's a lot of travel to figure things out."

 

"Sounds healthy though," commented Dr. Odé, "Especially when we know that you two have been struggling with communication some times."

 

"Yeah, that's mostly what it was about," Natasha explained, "We realised that we weren't the best to each other when we weren't doing fine. I gave Carol too much space when she needs me to be there for her and she wasn't giving me enough space. Now we know how to be the best partners."

 

"I'm glad to here that," Dr. Wittayer said, "I have to say, when we went out in New York and you were telling me about your struggles in your relationship with Carol, I kept my comments for myself because I was still acting as a therapist but maybe I shouldn't have. That time, I should have told you that I thought you two were communicating the wrong way."

 

"It's all right, doc. At least we got there and it didn't break us," Carol assured.

 

"Yeah, if anything it made us stronger. I think we needed to go through this whole process together and without any outside help."

 

"That's a lovely progression," commented Dr. Odé, "I can tell that you both gain in maturity with these recent experiences and you needed it. I honestly think that you don't need therapy anymore, are at least not as much as before."

 

"We still want to come, when we'll be able to…" Natasha said, "even if it's just once a month, it would be good for us, I think."

 

Dr. Wittayer agreed, "Reducing your sessions is a good start, and maybe one day you'll really don't need therapy anymore."

 

"We most certainly hope so. Not that we don't like therapy, it'd just be nice to know that Natasha and I are healed."

 

There was a short silence. A needed silence. Carol and Natasha could finally imagine themselves cured from their traumas, something they wouldn't have imagined when they began therapy.

 

After a sigh from Natasha and a cough from Carol, the conversation continued, "So, what are your project for the future?" Dr. Wittayer asked, "I know it might be hard to think ahead when you can't live freely but you might still have ideas."

 

Natasha sat up, "Well… I got an idea, for when I'll be able to… live normaly, I guess."

 

"You don't sound so thrilled about it," Dr. Wittayer noted.

 

"It's just… a very vague idea for now. I want to open an orphanage, and manage it if possible."

 

"Okay, now that sounds like a great idea!" Dr. Wittayer exclaimed, "I can totally imagine you do that."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes! You, taking care of children who lost their parents like you did, giving them a good life, that's exactly you."

 

At that, Natasha smiled and blushed as Carol kissed her cheek, "Told you she would like it."

 

"What about you, Carol?"

 

Carol shrugged, "I guess retiring sounds nice. I'd probably end up helping Natasha with the orphanage but like, the plan is to stop being super heroes in the near future."

 

Dr. Odé looked at her in shock, "Wow… I never thought I would hear you say that so casually, it used to be such a big deal for you."

 

"I know, right! I guess this whole year and a half really helped me figure out what I really want for my future."

 

"I'm glad it did."

 

"If you girls don't mind, I'm going to check on my sister," Natasha said and stood up.

 

As she walked out of the living room, Carol kept her eyes on her and, when she was sure Natasha had left, she moved closer to the therapists and started talking with a low voice, " I wanted to talk to you in private because I've been thinking about something. "

 

Dr. Wittayer seemed confused, "We're listening."

 

"I wanna propose to Natasha. Not yet, but soon. It's been crossing my mind more and more and I wanted to tell somebody."

 

"That's a great news, Carol."

 

"Yes, a big step but you are both ready to take it," Dr. Wittayer assured.

 

"You think so?"

 

"You are. Natasha and you have one of the strongest relationships I've seen, you can and will be a strong married couple."

 

"I'm glad you think so. I'm actually so excited about it but I want to wait until after our four years anniversary. It's a dumb superstitious thing but my mom always told me to wait that long before getting married, so I'm going to wait."

 

"Sounds good! Gives you time to think about how you want to propose," Dr. Wittayer replied with a smirk.

 

"Don't get me started on this. I've been thinking of so many scenarios already!"

 

"What are we talking about?" Yelena asked as she and Natasha came back into the living room.

 

"Nothing!" Carol coughed, "Just therapy stuff."

 

"Okay. Are you done with your secret therapy convo? We want to order something for dinner."

 

The four of them chose a restaurant and Dr. Odé and Yelena dealt with the delivery guy together while Natasha went to the bathroom to shower.

 

"I hope that I'll be invited to the wedding," Dr. Wittayer said to Carol as they both set the table.

 

Carol smiled, "Of course you will, you are our friend."

 

"You know, I've been called a friend before, but you're not always as loved as you love people."

 

"True… But it's not the case here. Natasha really likes you, since the day she called you to go hang out in New York, she has considered you a friend, and I do, too."

 

"Glad to hear that. I really appreciate you both."

 

"And so do we."

 

The doctor smiled and quickly changed the subject when Natasha stepped in. As they waited for dinner to arrive, they talked about how many children Carol and Natasha wanted. They always agreed on two, whether it would be twins or not, and already thought of names that they didn't want to share yet.

 

Yelena admitted that she had been looking to adopt a dog because she felt lonely when Carol and Natasha were gone. Loneliness was also her excuse for why she started to tolerate Liho, tolerate meaning she was hugging her every time she asked for it and was even feeding her before Natasha or Carol could.

 

They chatted more during dinner, the therapists mostly. Carol wanted to know more about their personal lives, even if they were still patients and doctors. Dr. Odé told them she was single and not looking for a partner at the moment. She was happy in her New York flat with her hamster. When it came to Dr. Wittayer, it was harder to get informations. She liked to annoy Carol by not answering, but when Natasha started questioning her she didn't even realise she was answering her.

 

In the end, they found out that Dr. Wittayer was close to Maria Hill. They met at the compound and Natasha had heard that they had been seen together outside of work but never got the confirmation. Dr. Wittayer admitted they went out a few times, and one of these times was a date. Carol could have teased her about it, she wanted to, but she also knew that both Dr. Wittayer and Maria liked to have their privacy, therefore she didn't push for more.

 

It was past midnight when Natasha expressed her exhaustion and decided it was time for her to go to bed. Before joining her, Carol showed Dr. Odé and Wittayer where they would sleep for the night. Yelena's house had two spare bedrooms, one inhabited by the couple and one that was used for storage. For one night, Dr. Wittayer would sleep in the second spare room and Yelena would sleep on the couch of the living room to let her room to Dr. Odé.

 

The five of them had a quiet morning the next day, chatted some more and, as midday approached, the guests started to pack. They had a quick lunch and then got ready to leave.

 

Yelena agreed to let Carol go on her own – not that she feared for her safety but she didn't like to give her car to other people. As they made their way to the car, Yelena and Natasha looked at them from the porch.

 

Before they could get in, Yelena called out to Dr. Wittayer "Excuse me! Dr. Wittayer?"

 

The doctor stopped as Yelena joined her, "Yes, Yelena?"

 

"I was wondering if you might be able to take new clients and if you could do online sessions?"

 

Dr. Wittayer smiled, "I can and I could if my client is in another country."

 

Yelena unlocked her phone and gave it to her, "Would you mind giving me your number- I mean your office's number, so I can get an appointment."

 

As she typed on Yelena's phone, the doctor chuckled, and then handed it back to her, "It's my phone number. That way we can organise the online sessions without my secretary being a pain in the ass."

 

Yelena shyly smiled, "Thanks doc."

 

This time, the doctor went into the car and the sisters watched it as Carol drove away.

 

"You could have told me you were interested in therapy," Natasha told her sister as she elbowed her.

 

Yelena groaned, "I didn't know I was interested until I met them and heard everything they did for you. I thought maybe they could help me, too."

 

"She will," Natasha assured and looked at her sister, "I'm proud of you."

 

Yelena lightly blushed and, when she noticed Natasha's smirk, she shoved her, "Shut up!"

Chapter 72: Family dinner

Chapter Text

After long weeks of negotiating, Melina and Alexei finally accepted to leave Russia to spend a week at Yelena's for Christmas. Natasha was very excited to see them again after more than a year and even more so to truly introduce Carol to them. She wasn't looking for their approval but, just like she wanted Carol and Yelena to get along, she wanted her parents to like her because they were all her family and she and Carol were building a life together.

 

Yelena was taking the quinjet – that she learnt how to pilot – to go pick them up. This meant that Carol and Natasha would have the house for themselves, and they would use their time wisely.

 

Unlike what Yelena would have imagined, they didn't spend the whole time having sex – although they did have sex at some point – but they spent it taking care of each other. It was something they liked to do regularly, to take a whole day to treat themselves well, sometimes by going to the spa, sometimes by staying at home.

 

Considering Natasha's current status, they couldn't go to a spa and assure her safety. They had everything they needed to take care of themselves at Yelena's house, skincare, hair products and good food.

 

Those days always began and ended with a shower, hot and cold, to put their bodies in the best dispositions to start the day and go to bed. After their hot shower, Carol and Natasha went to the garden to spar. It was the only physical activity that they could do together and enjoy, since Natasha wasn't allowed to go on a run outside. It was a way for them to feel powerful and strong, which they both needed after such a long time without helping people.

 

They made lunch after sparing and spent the afternoon resting and giving each other massages. Dinner was quick to come and so was their night ritual.

 

This time, Natasha asked Carol to take special care of her hair, because it was growing back and was looking more and more like she wanted it with her red root and blonde ends. Carol was being extra careful because she knew how important Natasha's hair was to her and she didn't want to be the reason why she would have to dye her hair again or cut it short.

 

Their hair freshly washed, bodies feeling relaxed and rested, Natasha and Carol went to bed knowing that they would be waken up the next morning by Yelena yelling at Alexei in Russian.

 

And they were almost right, except that Yelena was yelling in English, not Russian. They were too sleepy to understand what it was about, but she definitely sounded pissed.

 

"It's going to be like this for a whole week," Natasha yawned as she rolled over and cuddled up with Carol, "I'm not ready to go down there and see them."

 

"Okay," Carol replied and kissed Natasha's forehead, "We go when you're ready."

 

Natasha would have loved an extra hour of sleep but the screaming downstairs was not stopping. After many groans from Natasha and laughters from Carol, they agreed that it was time for them to go meet their family.

 

When they walked in, only Melina noticed their arrival, Alexei and Yelena were still too busy arguing about Yelena's flying abilities.

 

"Can you make them shut up? I tried but it's pointless," Melina told Natasha as she hugged her.

 

Natasha sighed, "I could try but knowing them it will only make things worse."

 

"May I try?" Carol asked them both and quickly greeted Melina.

 

"I'll be forever grateful if you can make them stop," Melina replied.

 

Carol winked and walked towards the father and daughter, "Yelena!" she exclaimed and wrapped her arm around Yelena's shoulders, "How was the flight? Knowing you it must have gone smoothly, especially since I taught you how to do it."

 

Yelena grumbled, "Apparently Alexei here doesn't think so."

 

Carol acted shocked and offended, "What? How so?"

 

Alexei started to stammer. It seemed that Carol intuition was correct, since she told him the Red Guardian was legendary, Alexei had a lot of respect for her and would never want to offend her, "Oh n-no, I didn't mean it like that. I-i just think that I'm not used to that kind of planes y-you know… S-so fast and everything. It's my bad, really."

 

Yelena couldn't believe that, just like that, Carol made him shut up, "Should have brought that up sooner, I guess," she muttered and she walked away.

 

While Yelena greeted her sister, Melina came into the living room, "Yelena said we had to go buy food," she told Carol, "Shall we go?"

 

Carol didn't know what to say. She was not aware of this and wasn't sure she could borrow Yelena's car just like that. Seeing Melina waiting for an answer, she excused herself and went to the kitchen to ask Yelena directly.

 

"Melina said you wanted me to go get groceries."

 

"Actually I said we needed more food since it will be the five of us for a week but I like this more," Yelena replied.

 

Carol chuckled, "Too tired of the flight to hang out with your mother?"

 

"Exactly."

 

"Okay, I'll go. What should I buy?"

 

With the help of Natasha, Yelena wrote down a list of food and drinks they would need for the next couple of days, at least. There was vodka on the list, of course, as well as carrots, aubergines and courgettes. Yelena wanted to make her own version of ratatouille for dinner, but for the other meals, they would do simple, until Christmas dinner.

 

Going to the mall with Melina gave Carol the opportunity to get to know her better. She had heard a lot about her and Alexei from Natasha and Yelena but she wanted to discover Melina without the biased opinions of her daughters.

 

Carol quickly realised that Melina liked cooking. She knew which product was good and which was bad just by how it was packed. She knew which vegetables and fruits were seasonal and which weren't and must have been imported from somewhere else or cultivated indoors. She also didn't give a choice when it came to picking the vodka brand, but that Carol knew it would happen.

 

They didn't spend too much time in the mall in case people would recognise Carol. They did stop at a flower shop though, because Carol wanted to buy a bouquet for her girlfriend. When she told Melina, the older woman smiled, "I wish Alexei would do that for me… but apparently he doesn't understand the "romance" of it."

 

Carol didn't get a giant bouquet, there were just a few red roses, some white potentilla and asparagus to make it all look nice.

 

As they drove back, Melina told Carol she would handle the groceries so she could go offer the bouquet to Natasha. Carol really appreciated the gesture, it meant that Melina knew Carol loved Natasha and wanted to be the best partner to her.

 

Carol quickly parked the car and ran inside to find Natasha. She was in the living room, sitting on the couch while reading one of the books Carol and Yelena brought back from the compound.

 

"Hey, babe," Carol said shyly as she entered the room, "this is for you," she added and sat beside her to give her the bouquet.

 

Natasha closed her book and took the bouquet in her hands, "Carol, it's so beautiful," she said and kissed her lips, "Thank you so much."

 

Carol smiled, "You are very welcome."

 

"All that with my credit card!" Yelena exclaimed from behind them, faking annoyance.

 

Carol looked back at her and winked, "I'll pay you back."

 

While Natasha went to the kitchen to find a vase for her bouquet, Carol helped Melina and Yelena with the groceries.

 

"Where is Alexei?" asked Melina to her daughter.

 

"He said he would make your bed upstairs but he probably fell asleep on it," Yelena replied, truly annoyed this time. Melina left to check on her partner. When she came back, she confirmed that Alexei did fall asleep, causing Yelena to roll her eyes.

 

They ordered take-out for lunch and then attended to their own activities for the afternoon. Carol and Natasha spent most of their time in the living room, reading books, while Melina and Yelena chatted about the next widow the latter would have to find and save. As for Alexei, he spent the whole afternoon napping in the spare bedroom.

 

As dinner approached, Yelena started to cook while the other women of the house took turns in the bathroom to get ready. It wasn't Christmas dinner yet, they didn't have to dress up, they just wanted to look nice.

 

When they were all done, Carol replaced Yelena in the kitchen so she could shower as well. Yelena was quick, not that she didn't trust Carols cooking – she knew she was much better at it than Natasha was – but she didn't like to leave in the middle of making food.

 

Since Alexei didn't do anything of his day except sleeping, he was given the task of setting the table. He surprised them all, set it nicely with the bouquet Carol offered to Natasha in the centre.

 

As dinner began, Natasha had to ask her parents about their relationship, "You two have to tell me how you got back together because Yelena is bad at giving details."

 

"I'm not bad at it, I just never wanted to know them so I can't tell you," Yelena shouted from the kitchen, clearly annoyed.

 

"Whatever. I want the full story."

 

Alexei and Melina shared a glance, both looking a bit embarrassed, and Alexei eventually mumbled, "Ya know, I'm quite a charmer-"

 

"Nah! Don't bullshit me," Natasha interrupted firmly, "What actually happened."

 

They looked more embarrassed now, like Yelena and Natasha used to when they broke something in the house when they were kids. Natasha was quickly done with their childish behaviour but decided to play along. With the strictest look in her eyes, she glared at Alexei, knowing he would eventually give in to the pressure. As she sat down, Yelena saw what her sister was doing and did the same with Melina. It seemed that her staring was more efficient than Natasha's.

 

"All right! It happened just after we fought Dreykov. We both thought we were going to die, we kissed, and we've been together since."

 

Natasha was in shock, "You lied to us!" Yelena exclaimed, "All these times I was asking how you were doing you fucking lied to me! I was worried, I wanted to make sure you were both okay and you didn't even tell me the truth."

 

"We wanted to have some time just for us. We know how you two can get when it comes to this."

 

"So now it's our fault!" Yelena said and rolled her eyes.

 

Alexei intervened, "That's not what your mother said."

 

"I get it actually," Natasha commented, almost too quietly, "When Carol and I started dating, we kept it secret for a while. It was hard some times but it was mostly amazing."

 

Carol looked at her girlfriend and smiled, "It was. Helped us build a solid relationship without people interfering."

 

"See," Melina told her youngest daughter, "It's not about you."

 

"Alright," Yelena groaned, "I'm still pissed that you lied."

 

"That's okay,"Alexei assured and patted his daughters shoulder.

 

"I should go back to physical exercise other than sex," Melina said out of nowhere, "my stamina is bad now, I can't even get through an argument without panting," she added and it made Yelena gag in disgust, "We are eating!" the younger sister shouted as she pointed at the food in her plate.

 

"I've started dancing again," Natasha told Melina, ignoring the sex part, "a while ago now. Carol asked Tony to make a dance studio back in the Avengers tower just for me. I had to try, to see if I could actually do it."

 

"And she really can," Carol commented in total admiration, "every time she dances, it's like time pauses, like only she matters."

 

Melina grimaced, "I think I'm too old for dancing."

 

"Are you?" Yelena interrupted, "or are you scared of what dancing might bring back?"

 

"Yelena," Natasha groaned as she glared at her.

 

"I'm just saying, it's okay if she is scared of the memories it might bring back. It's like what Dr. Wittayer says, "It's okay to be scared of what traumatised you. What helps to heal is to admit that it scares you," so yeah, it can be scary."

 

Natasha chuckled, "I can hear her say that, actually."

 

"It definitely didn't come from me," Yelena laughed.

 

"I guess Yelena is right," Melina muttered, "it does scare me because of what I associate to dancing. The fights, the killing, I don't want to think about it again."

 

"And that's normal, and it's okay," Carol assured, "You might never feel strong enough to dance again, or one day you might wake up and want to try. Whatever happens, it's gonna be hard, it's gonna hurt, but it's okay."

 

A silence followed Carol's word, sign that everybody agreed with her. Yelena was quick to talk though, she never liked when it was too quiet.

 

"I'm going to get the main course," she said and left.

 

Natasha helped Yelena to clear the plates, and when she came back, Melina said, " What have you been up to? Last time we saw you, you said you wanted to find a place of your own, is that still happening? "

 

"Kinda hard to get a house when you are a fugitive," Yelena commented before Natasha could reply.

 

"Thanks for the support, sis."

 

"You are very welcomed."

 

"Be nice to your sister, Yelena," Melina scolded and Yelena rolled her eyes.

 

As the three of them continued their argument in Russian, Alexei leaned closer to Carol and said in a whisper, "The other time, you said that the Red Guardian was legendary. Is it true?"

 

Carol smiled, "I was told you were going to win the war for Russia, we were taught to fear you."

 

"Really?" Alexei asked in disbelief.

 

"Yeah! The guys where I worked were saying you are stronger than Captain America."

 

"Legendary," Alexei repeated, his jaw dropping and his eyes shinning.

 

"Did you just invented all of this?" Natasha asked discreetly with a smirk on her lips.

 

Carol chuckled, "How did you guess?"

 

"I know you would have told me if it was real. Plus, you had your lying voice."

 

"I didn't want to disappoint him," Carol admitted.

 

Natasha smiled, "So, what did you actually heard about him?"

 

"Not much, we just knew Russia had their super soldier. But since it was a spying war, not a fighting war, they didn't need him."

 

"Makes sense… that's also why the Red Room was reborn."

 

Carol looked at Natasha and could tell that the thought of the Red Room affected her, "Hey," she murmured and took her hand, "let's not talk about them, okay?"

 

Natasha smiled, "Yeah," she replied and rested her head on Carol's shoulder.

 

For a few minutes, there was no heated conversation or yelling involved, which was quite a success considering this family's history.

 

"So, what are your plan, really?" Melina asked again.

 

Natasha and Carol shared a gaze before Natasha spoke up, "We want to have kids and I want to open an orphanage. Talked to a friend about it actually, she said it can happen-"

 

"Okay but when will you not be a fugitive? You can't build a family and make projects if you risk to be arrested whenever you leave your house."

 

"I know, Melina, I know," Natasha replied as she rubbed her eyes and sighed.

 

"We are working on it," Carol intervened, "with the help of the Avengers, we are working on something and we hope Natasha can get pardoned for what she's been accused of."

 

"Yes, because you should be the one that is the fugitive."

 

"Melina! We've talked about this."

 

Melina rolled her eyes, "Yes! Yes, I know. Captain Marvel is more important for the planet. But what about you?"

 

"You are right, Melina," Carol said, her tone sadder than before, "It should have been me. I planned everything so it looked like it was only me, but Natasha outsmarted me, you raised her like that. I didn't want her to be in this situation and she didn't want me to be in it either, and in the end the smarter one won…"

 

"I'm not sure if you are complimenting me or blaming me."

 

Carol chuckled, "It was a compliment, you raised the smartest person I know."

 

"Right! We got it! In love and all," Yelena said in disgust.

 

"Don't be like that, Yelena, because you have no interest in romantic love doesn't mean it's disgusting, it's just not something for you, like… like eggplants! You never liked eggplants," Alexei told her.

 

"It's called aubergine," Yelena groaned under her breath, "And I do like it."

 

While Yelena and Alexei started arguing on some words, Natasha got down from the table and asked Carol to come with her.

 

"Why did you tell Melina that we were working on it? We haven't been doing anything about my situation at all."

 

Carol took Natasha's hands and pulled her closer, "This conversation wasn't going anywhere, and you know she would have insisted if I hadn't told her that."

 

"We could have told her the truth."

 

"The truth is that we are sure of nothing, and I can tell Melina is not someone who likes that kind of answer," Carol told Natasha but she saw it wasn't enough to comfort her, "I know this situation has been hard on you, especially since we lost the trailer, but I know that it will all go back normal soon."

 

Natasha scoffed, "How can you be so sure?"

 

"Because I don't want to spend my whole life with a fugitive," Carol joked, which made Natasha smile for a few seconds, "We will fix it, I promise," Carol assured and kissed Natasha's forehead, "I love you."

 

Natasha's smile was bigger this time, "I love you, too," she replied in a whisper and buried her face in the crook of Carol's neck.

 

Carol was quick to pull Natasha into her arms and started swaying as the smaller woman slipped her hands under Carol's hoodie. And just like that, Natasha felt safer than ever. She knew that nothing could happen to her when Carol was holding her like that, the world around them could be imploding, Carol would be there to protect her. It was in these little moments that Natasha could fully feel, that she could let go of that risk-radar that was always on and just be.

 

Often, Natasha cried when she and Carol hugged for more than a minute, because she allowed herself to express things she usually kept inside even if they hurt. Carol knew that very well and was never surprised when she was seeing a tear on her girlfriend's cheek or her shirt a bit wet. She was glad she could give that kind of space to Natasha and would never say no to her, knowing what a hug could mean for her.

 

This time, Natasha didn't cry, but she did need a few minutes just between her and Carol to recharge her social battery. As much as she loved her family, they were a lot sometimes, so she needed to be able to escape.

 

"Wanna go back for dessert?" Carol eventually asked and Natasha replied with a groan, "Wanna go to our room and cuddle?" this time, Natasha nodded.

 

"Does it make me a bad person?"

 

"What? That you don't want to spend too much time with your family because they are too much some times? Nah. I did that with my family too."

 

Natasha giggled, "Good because we still have a whole Christmas dinner with them coming so if I can breathe some times I wouldn't say no."

 

"You can breathe whenever you want, just tell me and we'll go somewhere more private."

 

"I like when you talk about private places," Natasha said with a smirk.

 

And just like that, Carol knew that she wouldn't have her clothes on for the next few hours.

Chapter 73: Ring shopping

Notes:

my apologies for not posting two weeks ago, i wasn't at my best and preferred to not post.
I've also been struggling A LOT to write for this fic, the end is coming, i know what it'll be but the motivation to write is gone saddly...
I'm keeping the current posting patern every two weeks and i hope i won't have to slow down.
now, here have some Carol Danvers looking for a ring to propose with to Natasha!!

Chapter Text

For the first time since Carol and Natasha moved to Yelena's, Sam was visiting. To ensure everybody's safety, they had Sam go to Wakanda where he met with Yelena who flew him back to Canada. It was a much longer trip but it had to be done because Sam caught a guy following him a few weeks prior. He didn't know if it was one of Ross' people who could be looking for Natasha and Carol or someone else, but either way they had to be careful.

 

Sam could only stay for three days because of his Avengers duties, although he had not had vacations since before the Accords. They didn't plan anything for his visit, except Carol who had something she absolutely wanted to do with him, and she didn't want to wait.

 

Sam had barely set foot in Yelena's house that Carol grabbed him by the arm, took the key of the car and left with him. Natasha and Yelena were both confused but didn't think much of it, Sam and Carol did have a lot of catching up to do.

 

Without any explanation, Carol drove to the mall and led Sam to a shop she had seen when she went there back in December with Melina.

 

When they entered the shop, Sam instantly understood what it was about, "Oh my God! You want to propose to Natasha."

 

Carol couldn't stop herself from giggling, "I do, yeah."

 

Sam pulled Carol into a warm hug, "I'm so happy for you, man! Feels like you two are already married, it's about time you get married for real."

 

"Thanks man," Carol said and stepped out of the hug, "I don't know when I'll propose yet but I know it's time for me to get a ring."

 

"Definitely! Let's get that ring!"

 

Quickly after Carol and Sam started to searching for an engagement ring, a woman came to them and asked what they were looking for. Carol explained that she wanted a ring to propose to her girlfriend and the woman led her to the rings with diamonds.

 

They looked at some of the rings the woman showed them, each one more expensive than the one before – although that wasn't a problem for Carol, she had an unlimited budget. Carol loved them all, she couldn't pick one. Sam, on the other hand, didn't like them much.

 

"You know, I don't think getting the biggest diamond you can find is the right move. Natasha doesn't care about that, she knows that you love her unconditionally, you don't have to prove it with a giant diamond. What she'd like would be a ring that symbolise your relationship, or something that you both like, something that would remind her of all the things you went through before getting to this point."

 

"I agree with him, you know," Yelena said from behind them.

 

Carol jumped as she heard Yelena's voice. Catching her breath, she looked back and saw her standing there.

 

"A big gemstone would be annoying for Natasha. She needs something that she can wear even in combat situation, because we all know she will never take it off."

 

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" Carol exclaimed.

 

Yelena looked at the woman with her usual stare, which made her go away, "Natasha and I were talking and she told me she wanted to get a new piercing for the Widow that died in Budapest so I came here to see how much it'd cost. Natasha stayed at the house because still can't leave it."

 

Carol sighed, "Right."

 

"I want to get piercings too. I told you I killed the widow that freed me, I want to honour her."

 

"That's a great gesture," Sam commented.

 

"Thanks man,""I kinda want to do like Natasha did but I don't think I have enough space on my body for all the people I've killed. The girls in the Red Room maybe, if I get nipple piercings and those kind of stuff."

 

Sam and Carol laughed, "You never cease to make me like you, Yelena."

 

"Good thing you like me since you are going to marry my sister."

 

The three of them agreed that they wouldn't find the right ring there with all this giant diamonds. Yelena led the way, looking for a slightly smaller gemstone.

 

"You know, Natasha could take the ring off her finger when she fights and have it on a necklace or something," Carol pointed out as she looked back at the expensive rings.

 

"Nope," Yelena replied, "even if Natasha wanted a big shiny diamond – which she doesn't, trust me – she wouldn't like those ones. They are too simple, only ugly men with shitty taste would buy one of these."

 

"All right then, where are we going?"

 

Yelena looked around and led Sam and Carol to another display case, "Now, this is much better," Yelena said as she pointed at rings with rubies and sapphires.

 

Carol didn't seem to like them as much, "I don't know, to me an engagement ring has to have a diamond."

 

"But the diamonds were ugly," Yelena pointed out.

 

"There are more diamonds there," Sam told them as he pointed at another display case.

 

In this display case were diamonds of many colours, some blue, pink or purple. They looked at them, but Carol was still not convinced of the colours.

 

"Guys, I like that they aren't white but they are too colourful to me. I want one with a very light colour."

 

"Like this one," Yelena said as she stared at a ring, almost hypnotised, "it's so weird. It's like you know that it's orange but you don't know where it comes from."

 

Carol glanced at it, confused, and couldn't take her eyes off it anymore. It was a diamond in a marquise shape that looked classical white at first but, when you look at it closely, you could see light shades of orange inside. It was ornamented with tiny round white diamonds around it and the ring was made of silver. The ring was elegant but not too luxurious, shiny but discreet, not too big or too small, it was the perfect ring to propose to Natasha.

 

"I think that's the one," Carol eventually muttered.

 

"Yep," Yelena confirmed, "she's gonna love it."

 

"Isn't it too big for Natasha to be able to fight with it?" Sam asked.

 

"Fuck fighting with it, this ring is too good, she'll wear it on her necklace or something," Yelena replied.

 

"I never thought an object could be this perfect," Carol commented, "it somehow makes me think of her, of us, and of our future, it's crazy. It's like this ring is magical."

 

"May I help you with something," another woman that worked in the shop asked.

 

Carol had a hard time taking her eyes off the ring, but she had to if she wanted this woman to help, "Yeah, I would like to buy this ring."

 

The woman's eyes widened, "Sure thing… it's just um, the most expensive ring of the shop."

 

Carol wasn't too unsettled by this information, "How much?" she asked casually.

 

"Five thousand," the woman replied.

 

Yelena's and Sam's faces became blank, but Carol smiled, "Shouldn't be a problem," she said and got her credit card out of her coat.

 

Sam was stunned, "You- you've got enough money?" Yelena asked.

 

Carol shrugged, "Of course! I haven't touch the money I saved while I was in the air force for twenty five years, and since I came back I got free accommodation and food, and a salary, so I have loads of money saved."

 

"Wait up, you're paid for being an Avenger?"

 

"Yeah. We are all paid, right Sam?"

 

"We are. It's not much but since we live in the compound we don't need to spend a lot of money. I saved most of the money I got since I joined."

 

"I didn't know you were paid. Damn, being an Avenger is a good plan, you get everything for free and you got money."

 

"Well, its our job so it is normal that we get paid."

 

"True, true."

 

As they chatted, the woman – who was much nicer than the first one – went to her boss to ask for the papers that Carol had to sign to buy the ring. She brought it all back, as well as the ring in its white box.

 

"Wait! Could you try it on," Carol said to Yelena and then turned to the woman, "Can she try it on? To see if it fits her. My girlfriend is her sister, they have the same fingers."

 

We are not blood related, thought Yelena, but we do have the same fingers.

 

"Of course," replied the sales assistant, "and if it doesn't fit we can make it bigger or smaller."

 

"You try it while I sign all this," Carol told her soon-to-be sister in law.

 

Yelena nodded and opened the box. She was very cautious when she took the ring, she didn't want to let it fall or damage it, especially considering its price. When she put it on, Yelena felt like she had no ring on her finger.

 

"It's so light," she murmured, "so beautiful."

 

"Does it fit?" Carol asked.

 

Yelena looked at her and smiled, "Yup."

 

"Than I guess it's mine," Carol concluded as she handed the papers back to the woman.

 

"I will be back in a sec for the payment," the woman said and left.

 

"I trust you to keep this a secret, of course," Carol told Yelena and Sam, "I don't know when I will propose yet."

 

Yelena laughed, "I was trained to resist torture and prefer to die rather than give up a secret, you really think I can't keep something like that to myself?"

 

"Natasha is a really good interrogator."

 

"That's true," Sam said, "once we talked and I didn't even notice she was questioning me until she said her line."

 

"Thank you for your cooperation, yeah, I know that one."

 

The woman quickly came back and asked Carol to follow her. She had to transfer the money from her account to theirs, because she couldn't just pay five thousand dollars on a normal payment terminal. When it was all done, Carol joined Sam and Yelena, took the box and put it in the inside pocket of her jacket.

 

The three of them walked back to the car, Carol giving the keys to Yelena, and they drove back to the house.

 

They got there all happy and smiling, but the atmosphere changed very quickly when Natasha saw that Yelena was with Sam and Carol.

 

"What are the three of you doing together? I thought you were going to the mall, Yelena."

 

For the first time since Carol met Yelena, she saw her blush and be hesitant, "I-I went there, and on-on the way back they saw me and gave me a ride."

 

"You were very fast," Natasha pointed out.

 

Yelena continued lying, "Took the bus, looked for some ring- um earrings… and then left."

 

Still staring at her sister, Natasha asked, "And what did you two do?"

 

Carol gulped, she could tell Natasha was seeing through Yelena's lies, she was on her highest level of alert. Not sure what to say, Carol took a few seconds before replying, and Sam bested her at it, "We were at the bar close to the mall, that's how we saw Yelena. Carol just wanted to catch up on the case and we both know you don't exactly like to hear about it."

 

Natasha seemed convinced enough, "I just don't like how it affects Carol, so I rather not be there when you talk about it, yeah."

 

"We are all good, then," Yelena commented.

 

"Nope," Natasha replied firmly, "we are not because I don't believe what you said. I feel like you are hiding something from me."

 

There was a very noticeable tension in the room, but lucky for Carol, it wasn't because of her or against her. Since Natasha believed Sam, she wouldn't ask more about what they did, but she might question her sister all day long until she'd tell her the truth. Carol trusted Yelena to not crack under Natasha's interrogation. She knew that, if the younger sister was too annoyed, she would just leave and come back when Natasha would have forgotten about the whole thing.

 

And Yelena did as Carol thought, she left ten minutes after Natasha began her interrogation. Natasha was a bit angry, she didn't like to be lied to. To vent, she went outside – even if it was quite cold in the beginning of this month of February – to garden. She was planting a cherry tree, that would take a few years to grow and eventually give Yelena juicy fruits. She was there in her tank top and sweatpants, digging a hole for the tree's roots, when Carol joined her and put a jacket on her shoulders.

 

"It's cold out there," Carol said as she squatted down beside her girlfriend, "I don't want you to get sick."

 

Natasha finished what she was doing, cleaned her hands and put the jacket on, "Thanks, love."

 

Natasha paused her activity to enjoy the presence of Carol. They sat in the grass together, Carol wrapping an arm around Natasha's waist to pull her closer, and Natasha opened up.

 

"I don't like it when she lies to me, especially when I can tell it's something about me."

 

Carol hated that she had to lie, too, but she couldn't tell Natasha that she had in the pocket of her coat an engagement ring, "How do you know it's about you?" she asked.

 

"She hesitated. Yelena doesn't do that except when it's something important."

 

"Well," Carol began as she pressed the side of her cheek against Natasha's, "if it really is important, she will tell you eventually. Let her have her private space."

 

"Umm," Natasha said, almost groaned, as she snuggled up with her girlfriend, "I guess you're right."

 

"I agree," Carol replied and felt Natasha shaking, "Why don't we finish planting this tree and go back inside?"

 

Together, they planted the tree, watered it, and went back to the living room where Sam was watching TV. They sat on the couch together and watched the replay of a baseball game. Carol was more into it than Natasha, the redhead just wanted to be with her girlfriend and cuddle. The game was almost done when Yelena came back to find Natasha asleep on top of Carol.

 

"I bought Chinese," she said as she looked at her sister, "might calm her, I know she loves it."

 

Carol replied with a smile before proceeding to slowly wake her girlfriend. While Sam and Yelena set the table, Carol and Natasha went to the bathroom to shower, Natasha still feeling dirty because of her earlier gardening. When they came back to the kitchen, everything was ready on the table. They chatted during the whole dinner but Natasha didn't directly talk to her sister, until they were done.

 

"Carol and I are going to clean up, you go to your room and rest," it was as much of an order as it was a gesture of love. Natasha wanted to show her sister that she was not mad at her anymore and that she saw she was a bit tired.

 

Yelena did as asked and went to her room after she showed Sam to his. Meanwhile Carol and Natasha worked together to clean everything, Natasha doing to washing and Carol the drying. They were an efficient team and were done in less than twenty minutes, yet there were at least three days of dirty dishes accumulated in the sink. Natasha noted that it was annoying to have to wash the dishes, and she said her house warming gift for Yelena would be a dish washer, when she'd have access to the money on her credit card.

 

With all this excitement in the afternoon, Carol forgot that she had the box with the engagement ring in her coat and only remembered it when she asked Natasha to give her her wallet, that was in that same coat. She was quick to tell her that she actually didn't need it and then distracted her with neck kisses.

 

During the night, when Carol was sure that Natasha was asleep, she went to her coat, took the box, and put it in her safe place, the pocket that she had in the inside of her first ever Captain Marvel suit. This pocket, as well as the rest of the suit, was bullet proof (to weapons from Earth), so Carol didn't take any risk by putting it there, and she knew Natasha wasn't the kind of person that searched into people's clothes.

Reassured and relaxed, Carol went back to bed and thought for the first time of Natasha as her fiancée as she fall asleep.

Chapter 74: Weird feeling

Chapter Text

Carol woke up this morning with a knot in the pit of her stomach. It was very unusual for her, she had not been sick in a very long time, she barely remembered how it felt, and there she was with a stomach ache and no idea where it came from.

 

Maybe it was the fact that Natasha was going out of the house for the first time in month, maybe it was the anxiety, it was the only logical explanation. But Carol had no need to worry, they chose the day well with Natasha and Yelena, a sunny day of April where it wouldn't be suspicious for Natasha to be wearing sunglasses and a cap all afternoon long.

 

Carol managed to eat her whole break fast somehow and went unnoticed through the whole morning. When it was time for them to get ready to go, Carol locked herself in the bathroom while she showered, something she usually never did in case Natasha would need to come in. Natasha was surprised to find the door locked when she did try to step in.

 

In the shower, that was longer than the usual, Carol tried to understand what was happening with her body, why it reacting this way, but she didn't find any explanation. Feeling that Natasha was getting impatient, Carol opened the door when she exit her shower.

 

Natasha could feel that something was off with her girlfriend, her locking the door was already a lot but her face was saying even more. Knowing how Carol works, Natasha took a minute before her shower to talk to her, "You okay, my love?" she asked as she stood beside her and stroke her arm.

 

"Yeah, yeah, all good," Carol assured, although she didn't look self-assured at all.

 

"You sure? You look… concerned."

 

"I'm just a bit anxious, it's nothing."

 

"Hey," Natasha said softly as she stepped closer to Carol and cupped her cheeks, "If you don't feel good, we should stay in. We can hang out another day."

 

"No, no. We've been planning this for weeks, I know you are excited to go so we should go. I'll be okay, I promise."

 

"Okay," Natasha said, even if she wasn't convinced.

 

"I love you."

 

Natasha smiled, saying I love you was always there way to conclude that kind of conversation, when they didn't agree but weren't upset about it, "I love you, too."

 

For lunch, they are going to get Natasha's favourite fast food and would eat somewhere in a park. Yelena went to the restaurant while the couple found a good location for their picnic, isolated enough for Natasha to be safe but still in a good spot with sunlight.

 

Lunch went quite well, even if Carol's stomach kept hurting. They saw two squirrels while they ate, as well as butterflies, bees and they even fed a few birds.

 

Natasha felt like she was truly alive again, and Carol couldn't stop staring at her and her smile. She was so glad they didn't cancel this plan because she didn't feel good, Natasha deserved it after all these months she spent inside.

 

If they had alone – and if Carol had her engagement ring with her – Carol could have proposed to Natasha here. It would have been a very spontaneous and natural proposal, which Carol really wanted to do. She didn't want to make a whole scene of it, she wanted to propose when it felt right, and at the moment it did. But Yelena was there, and she didn't have any ring to propose with so Carol had to wait.

 

She knew it would happen soon though. She couldn't wait to be able to call Natasha her fiancée. She would be so proud to walk beside Natasha with the ring on her finger, she would show it to all her friends and she would tease Tony about being engaged before him. Yelena would be so annoyed by them being so in love, and it would make the couple laugh so hard.

 

In more than just one way, they were already behaving like a married couple, they just had to make it official.

 

After their lovely time in the park, they went to the mall. When they passed by the jewellery Carol bought her engagement ring, she and Yelena shared a glance and smiled. Luckily for Carol, Natasha wasn't interested by the store and went to the store beside it.

 

"I love this brand," Natasha commented as they entered Hollister.

 

The store was almost empty at this time of the day so they could take their time to look at all the possibilities.

 

"Babe, look at that," Natasha said as she pointed at a denim jacket, "You would look so hot in this."

 

After seeing Yelena's eye roll, Carol laughed, "If you find me pants and a shirt that would look good with it, I'll try it on."

 

Natasha quickly found a pair of black pants that she knew Carol would like and that would look good with the jacket in the woman section. Then, she went to the man section and looks for a flannel, knowing she would find better ones there. And she was right, her eyes fell onto a black and white flannel that was perfect with the pants.

 

She went back to Carol with a shit eating smirk on her lips and led her to the fitting room while Yelena looked at the socks.

 

Natasha was tempted to enter the fitting room with Carol to see her in her underwear but she wanted to have the surprise of seeing her in the full outfit so she stayed outside.

 

Carol undressed, starting with her shoes and pants, and put on the black jeans Natasha found for her. She quite liked it, she felt comfortable in it and it made her ass look good. Then, Carol took off her hoodie and t-shirt all at once and buttoned up the flannel.

 

After she put on the denim jacket, Carol adjusted her hair and then she suddenly felt like someone was in the fitting room with her. She looked in the mirror and thought she saw something. Her heart racing in her chest, Carol yelped as she spun and rose a fist.

 

Panting, Carol realised that she was alone in there, she must have hallucinated.

 

"Baby, what's wrong?" she heard Natasha asked from outside. She probably heard her scream of distress.

 

Carol looked down at her hands, that were still shining a little, "I- I don't know," she replied with a shaking voice.

 

Hearing Carol's panic, Natasha didn't hesitate and stepped into the fitting room, "Carol!" she gasped as she saw her eyes glowing, "what's wrong?" she asked and took Carol's hands to make her look at her reflection in the mirror.

 

Carol let out a loud gasp when she saw her eyes bright gold, "I don't know w-what happened. I- I was there, trying on the shirt and I- I just felt threatened all of a sudden."

 

"Hey, shh," Natasha whispered to calm her girlfriend. With one hand, she took her glasses off her eyes and she places her other hand on Carol's chest, "Everything's okay. There is no threat here, nobody's going to hurt us."

 

Soothed by the slow breathing rhythm and soft voice of Natasha, Carol relaxed and pressed her forehead with Natasha's. After a few more deep inhalations, she released a long breath and opened her eyes, that were back to their normal hazelnut colour, "How do you feel?" asked Natasha.

 

Carol smiled, "Much better. Thank you, baby."

 

Even if she calmed down, Carol still felt sick. When Natasha saw that Carol had her hands on her belly, she worried again, "We should go home."

 

Carol shook her head, "No! We are having fun here and it's good for you to be outside."

 

"I rather be locked inside forever if it means that you are feeling better."

 

"Going back home won't necessarily make me feel better," Carol argued.

 

"Worth the try."

 

"You aren't going to change your mind, are you?"

 

"Nope," Natasha replied.

 

Carol sighed, "Okay."

 

She was very disappointed, she spoiled her girlfriend's happy moment because of a weird feeling, that was most likely nothing. Looking down at her feet in shame, Carol cursed herself in her head.

 

"Hey," Natasha said softly, "You look hot in that outfit."

 

A smile appeared on Carol's lips, "Thank you."

 

"Now, you get changed while I go talk to Yel, okay?"

 

After Carol nodded, Natasha exited the fitting room and found Yelena standing there, her arms folded at her chest. When she saw her sister's face, Yelena frowned, "Everything okay?"

 

"I don't know… Carol doesn't feel good. I think it would be better if we go home."

 

Yelena knew it was odd that Carol didn't feel well, and she could also see how worried Natasha was, "Stay here with here, buy her that outfit. I'll go get the car," Yelena told her as she handed her credit card.

 

Natasha took the card and smiled, "Thank you, sestra."

 

Yelena stepped forward and patted Natasha's shoulder, "That's what sisters are for."

 

A minute after Yelena left, Carol got out of the fitting room and was going to give the clothes she tried on back to a store assistant when Natasha stopped her, "I'm buying you this, baby."

 

"Natasha, you don't have t-"

 

"I want to," Natasha said firmly, "I want to give you some joy today. Giving you joy gives me joy."

 

Carol was annoyed at the fact that Natasha knew exactly what to say to convince her, "All right. Thank you, baby."

 

Yelena was waiting for them when they exited the mall. This time, Natasha sat on the back seat with Carol. Yelena turned off the radio to give Carol as much quiet as possible. After the first turn, Carol leaned to the side and rested her head on Natasha's shoulder as she hugged her painful belly with both her arms.

 

Back at the house, Natasha led Carol to the couch, lied down and pulled Carol on top of her. The redhead felt Carol's uneven breathing against her chest and could tell her heart was beating fast. For a long hour, Carol was frowning and holding Natasha's waist as tight as possible. But she eventually fell asleep, Natasha felt it when Carol loosened her hold around her.

 

A few minutes later, Yelena joined the couple with a cup of tea for Natasha, "How is she?" she asked, worry in her tone.

 

"She just fell asleep. I don't understand what's going on with her, I hate it."

 

"Could she just be sick?"

 

"I have no idea…" Natasha replied, "Since she became half Kree, she's never been sick."

 

"Weird," Yelena commented and quickly realised it wasn't helping Natasha's anxiety, "I'm sure she's gonna be okay, it's probably nothing."

 

"I hope so," Natasha sighed and looked at her sleeping beauty, "She has to be okay. I hate that I can't help her."

 

Sadly, Carol didn't get much sleep. After half an hour, she woke up in deep pain, feeling like she had been stabbed. She was out of breath for a long minute, and this time even Natasha's breathing exercises couldn't help.

 

Natasha felt helpless, everything she tried fail and her girlfriend was still in pain. But suddenly, Carol could breathe again, so well that she could get up on her feet with no help.

 

"What just happened?" Yelena asked after she watched the whole scene, having no idea what to do.

 

Carol exhaled a sharp breath and looked at her soon-to-be sister in law, "I thought I was dying and then I just… wasn't."

 

"How is that possible, you were just laying there."

 

Natasha thought about what happened earlier in the fitting room, "Could something be messing with your powers?"

 

Carol shrugged, "I don't think so. I have no idea, honestly, but I feel better than earlier."

 

"Does your stomach still hurts?" Natasha asked, still very concerned.

 

"Yeah, but not as much."

 

Not fully reassured but still relieved, Natasha let out the breath she had been holding and threw herself into Carol's arms, "don't you ever do that again."

 

Carol hugged Natasha back as she smiled, "I promise I'll try."

 

Yelena was looking at them, both annoyed by their love and glad Carol was feeling better, "What do you think about early dinner? That way you can rest tonight."

 

"That would be great, yeah," Carol replied.

 

"Thank you, Yel."

 

"No worries," Yelena said, "I'll come get you when it's ready."

 

Natasha and Carol hugged a bit more and then went to their room. They settled together in bed, Natasha sitting and reading a book while Carol was resting, her head on Natasha's belly. Carol didn't sleep this time, she preferred to cuddle with Liho and Natasha.

 

It was a quarter past six PM when Yelena came knocking on their door, "Dinners ready. I can bring it here if you want."

 

"Nah, were coming down in a bit," Carol replied.

 

Carol sat up and pulled Liho in her lap while Natasha was finishing her chapter. Carol looked at the cat and thought of Goose, who was peacefully living her life on Skrullos. She wished she could bring her back to Earth, but having a Flerken was dangerous, she couldn't take this risk when she wanted to have kids.

 

Natasha's chapter finished, they went downstairs and joined Yelena in the kitchen for dinner. Yelena made a salad just for Carol, knowing she would eat much, and lasagna for herself and Natasha. They washed the dishes together when they were done eating and sat in the living room to chat before going to bed.

 

Yelena was telling an old story from when she and Natasha were kids when Carol got a text on her phone from a number she didn't know. At first confused, Carol then gasped when she saw who signed the text.

 

"What is it, love?" Natasha asked her.

 

"Distress text from Wanda… There's coordinates."

 

"Distress text?" Yelena asked.

 

"We have to go asap," Natasha stated, "Yelena, can you drive us to the jet?"

 

Yelena chuckled, "Are you crazy, I'm coming with you."

 

"What?"

 

"From what you told me from this girl and her boyfriend, they can handle themselves quite well. If they need help, it means there won't be too much of the three of us to help."

 

"You realise that by doing this you are sort of becoming an Avenger," Natasha said with a smirk.

 

Yelena fake-gagged, "Don't remind me."

 

Natasha and Carol made their way to their bedroom, where their suits were. They helped each other to put it on, Carol checking if the ring was still safe in it. They gave food to Liho as well, in case they would be gone for more than a day, and Yelena was waiting for them in the living room when they rushed back downstairs.

 

Yelena was speeding to get to the jet faster. They hadn't even closed the rear hatch that Carol had taken off and put on the coordinates. The auto-pilot – that was programmed to get them to the location as safely as possible – told her they would get there in four hours, which was not to her liking. At its highest speed, the quinjet could get them to Scotland in about two hours, but that meant Carol would have to pilot it the whole time. Natasha and Yelena could take her place, but only for a few minutes.

 

After ten minutes, no one had said a word and the atmosphere was getting heavy. Natasha could tell Carol was tensed, even from where she was standing she was seeing Carol's tensed shoulders.

 

Knowing that Carol didn't have to focus much on piloting since they just had to go forward for the next hour or so, Natasha joined her in the cockpit.

 

"What did she say?" Natasha asked as she took the co-pilot seat, allowing Carol to relax a little.

 

"Vis has been feeling weird all day, something about the stone. It might be nothing but I thought you should know," Carol quoted by heart.

 

Natasha clicked her tongue, "That can't be good," she looked at her girlfriend, who wanted to take back control of the jet, "Are you good?" Natasha asked but Carol didn't answer.

 

Instead of insisting, Natasha called Yelena to replace them for a few minutes. Carol contested, but in the end she followed Natasha to their wing of the jet.

 

"Talk to me, Carol."

 

Carol took Natasha's hand, looking for comfort, "I've been feeling weird today, too," she explained, which caused Natasha to frown, "Your stomach ache?"

 

"Yeah, I felt sick at first, and then it was like something was draining my powers. Not much, but it felt like I wasn't fully in control."

 

"Thus the glowing eyes earlier," Natasha assumed.

 

"I suppose so, yeah, but I also did feel threatened. If I felt like that because someone's been messing with the Tesseract, maybe this same someone is doing the same with Vision's stone."

 

"Last thing we know, the Tesseract was on Asgard."

 

"Exactly, last thing we know. It might be long gone, we wouldn't know."

 

Natasha stepped closer and cupped Carol's cheeks, "You can't think the worst. We need to be focused."

 

"I know, I know, I just…" Carol stopped and thought of the ring in her suit's pocket, right next to her heart, "It's the first time in months that we are going to fight, I can't help thinking about the bad, and if we were to not make it-" Carol continued, as she reached for the inside of her suit but Natasha stopped her.

 

"Everything will be fine," Natasha assured as she held the hand that was very close to take the box she didn't know was there, "whatever happens, I know we will get through it."

 

As hard as she wanted to propose now, Carol realise it wasn't the right time. And Natasha was right, whatever threat they would have to face, they could beat it, they would beat it. Still worried, but not wanting to show it, Carol took a step forward and pulled Natasha in her arms.

 

"I love you, baby," she whispered to Natasha's ear.

 

Natasha pulled out of the hug, "I love you too, Carol, so so much."

 

Carol really needed to hear this, she would take all the love and support she could get.

 

After a kiss, Carol went back to the cockpit and replaced Yelena on the pilot seat.

 

In less than two hours, they would be in Scotland, and they had no idea of what they find there.

Chapter 75: Reunion

Chapter Text

Natasha and Carol were very proud of themselves, they taught Wanda and Vision very well. When they got close to Scotland, Carol received a notification on her phone, that was giving her Wanda's location and it was updating live. Thanks to this, they could track them, and Yelena found the perfect place for them to land.

 

With the jet's scanner, they tried to identify what Wanda and Vision were up against, but it was no known on Earth entities.

 

"I'm gonna go out there and see if I can find something that'll help," Carol said as she pressed the button to open the rear hatch, "You go find them, I'll join you," she added and handed her phone to Natasha.

 

Carol had flown away before Natasha could tell her to be careful.

 

Natasha took a look at the phone and noticed that Wanda wasn't moving anymore, "They are in the train station. You'll enter from the north and I'll go south."

 

"Are you sure we should split?" Yelena asked as she got out of the quinjet, "We still don't know what we're up against."

 

"The element of surprise is always important."

 

"All right then," Yelena said and stopped as it was time for them to go separate ways, "Don't die."

 

Natasha smiled, "You, too."

 

Yelena rushed inside even if she was completely in the dark. She didn't know this place, she could be running right into a trap and wouldn't know it, but they had to be quick so she couldn't stop to analyse her surrounding.

 

Luckily for her, an empty train passed right when she found a way in. She saw a woman in jeans that fitted the description she had of Wanda and the person on the floor behind her was probably Vision.

 

Yelena also saw two very tall people dressed in black, that didn't look human to her. She stood there, doing her best not to move, but one of the persons saw her somehow.

 

Right when the train left the station, exposing her fully, she heard in her earpiece, "Ready when you are, guys."

 

Yelena didn't get the time to give Carol and Natasha a signal because she was attacked by Wanda's opponents. One of them threw their weapon to her, that she caught mid-air with no struggle. Stepping forward to be in the lights, Yelena was just distracting them, seeing Carol flying in to kick the person who attacked her.

 

Then, Carol made a U-turn to shoot photon blasts at the other person as Natasha was running in their direction. Seeing her arriving, Yelena threw the spire that Natasha caught. She slid to dodge a their weapon and stabbed them in the abdomen. She kicked him in the face and was about to finish him when the first person

 

Yelena jumps across the rails to help Natasha. During a roll on the floor, she seized the other alien's weapon and was up on her feet just in time to block the female alien's attack. The alien was very strong and agile, but Natasha and Yelena were too and it was enough to hold them back until Carol arrived and kicked them with both her feet.

 

As the female alien crawled to protect their ally, Carol rose both her shining fists.

 

"We don't wanna kill you, but we will," Natasha told the aliens, the injured one incapable of getting up.

 

"You'll never get the chance again," replied the female alien before pressing a button on something that looked like a watch on their wrist.

 

Suddenly, a beam of blue light pulled them up and their weapon – that was still in Yelena's hand – into a space ship. Natasha and Yelena was so surprised that they didn't know how to react. Carol, on the other hand, was about to follow them when Natasha caught her hand, "We need you here."

 

Carol let out a sigh, "You're right," she said and looked up at the spaceship that was flying away. Then, she glanced at Yelena, "Thank you for saving my girl."

 

"You're very welcome."

 

Natasha scoffed, "I was handling myself, thank you very much."

 

"That thing was about to kill you!" Yelena shouted back.

 

"I thought you were amazing," said Wanda from behind them.

 

Seeing Vision on the floor, Carol rushed to his side, "Let me help you," she said and gave him a hand so they could stand.

 

"Thank you Captain," Vision replied.

 

"This is my sister, Yelena," Natasha told them.

 

"Pietro said he saw you the other time," Wanda commented, "he said you were pretty, he was quite right."

 

"Thanks," Yelena replied, "We should probably go."

 

After Natasha nodded in agreement, the five of them walked in direction of the jet. With the help of Carol and Wanda, Vision could walk quickly and they were ready to go in the air again seven minutes later.

 

Wanda and Vision settled in a corner, Wanda looking very concerned about Vision's injuries, while Yelena went to the pilot seat, "Where to?" she asked loudly.

 

"Avengers compound," replied Carol.

 

Yelena nodded and got ready to take off while Natasha closed the rear hatch. She joined Carol, Wanda and Vision and asked, "What happened back there?"

 

"We- we were outside, talking, when I saw something on a shop's TV. They were saying New York was attacked, th-there was a spaceship and they said Tony went missing."

 

"Shit," Natasha said under her breath.

 

"Yelena, contact the compound," Carol ordered and went to the cockpit, completely ignoring Wanda's panicked state.

 

"Did you see anything else?" Natasha continued.

 

"They were after Vision's stone," Wanda replied, her voice shaking, "They tried to get it out of their head but I-I stopped them," she had and started sobbing.

 

"You did well, Wanda," Natasha assured and pulled the young woman into her arms, "you did everything you could. You contacted us, you protected Vision, it was great. I'm proud of you."

 

It took Wanda a long minute to calm down. When she did, Natasha made sure she and Vision were okay and joined her girlfriend and sister, "All good here?" she asked and Yelena replied with a nod, "may I borrow you for a sec?" she told Carol, it wasn't really a question.

 

With a sigh, Carol followed Natasha to the empty side of the jet. She stood before Natasha with her arms crossed, looking pissed, "What the hell is going on with you? Wanda is clearly in shock and you are being all bossy and rude."

 

"I wasn't-"

 

"Yes, you were," Natasha cut off, "Look at her, she is terrified, she saw Vision getting stabbed by some space weapon and had to fight aliens. What she needs right now is a little bit of empathy, not whatever the fuck you were doing."

 

"Okay!" Carol shouted, "Got it."

 

This reaction was so out of character for Carol that it worried Natasha, "Hey, tell me what's really going on with you," she said as she stepped closer to Carol, "I know you can never be a bitch a purpose, there is something on your mind."

 

Carol exhaled a sharp breath, "Of course there is. Earth just got attacked by aliens and I wasn't there to protect it."

 

"Yes, you were. They didn't get Vision's stone because we intervened. And yes, maybe something happened in New York but we're gonna figure it out."

 

"Tony disappeared, Natasha, and the spider kid. They both disappeared and for all Rhodey knows they are in that space ship."

 

Natasha pinched the bridge of her nose as she thought, "What else do we know?"

 

"That's all he could tell me. He has a meeting with some high ranked people in an hour, including Ross, so they might still be on call when we get there."

 

"It'll be nice to see our dear friend Secretary Ross, again," Natasha joked.

 

"Yeah, I'm sure he will want to hug us."

 

Natasha smiled and pressed her body against Carol's as she wrapped her arms around her neck, "I know what you're thinking. This is the big threat you've been worrying about, the reason why you should never retire. I get why you think that, but Carol, you've said it yourself, you have to think about you a little as well. Yes, a big threat is there and yes, Earth needs you, but you retiring doesn't mean you will never help anymore. I know you, I know you will go help if you are needed even after we retire, and I will not stop you from going, ever. But you shouldn't stop yourself from doing what's best for you, either."

 

"How can you be so perfect? Like is it just to me or are just… perfection incarnate?"

 

Natasha laughed, "It's probably just to you, but that might be because we were meant to be together or something."

 

"Oh, yeah! Soulmates."

 

"Exactly," Natasha replied and kissed Carol's lips, "Now, soulmate, could you go take care of Wanda and Vision while I go help Yelena with the jet."

 

"I can do that."

 

Wanda was fixing Vision when Carol joined them. She could tell Wanda calmed down, surely thanks to Vision and his wise words, but Carol had to ask her more question. She wanted to know more about the aliens, their weapons, whatever Wanda and Vision saw. It might help Carol identify who they were and who they were working for, because these two were definitely not the ones in command.

 

But while Vision and Wanda were telling her everything they remembered, Carol could only focus on the ring in the pocket of her suit. This unknown threat – whatever it was – had her thinking about proposing even more. She didn't want to think about the bad but that was all her brain could do, and in the eventuality of one of them dying, Carol wanted to be at least engaged to Natasha. But, as hard as she wanted this, she also promised herself to give Natasha the proposal she deserved.

 

So Carol kept the ring in the pocket of her suit and glanced at her girlfriend every two minutes, just to make sure she was still there, hopeful and perfect. Sometimes, Yelena would catch her glancing and smiled, knowing very well what Carol had in mind.

 

Carol had to refocus, get her head in the game, especially if she wanted to one day be able to propose to Natasha.

Chapter 76: A solution

Chapter Text

After a five hours flight, they all got to the compound. Carol was sending messages to Rhodey, who granted permission to their jet to land without any problem.

 

This time, Natasha and Yelena helped Vision walking while Wanda followed Carol who led the way. As they got closer to the lab, they could all hear Rhodey's voice, pissed, and they eventually saw him talking to a hologram version of Thaddeus Ross. From what Carol could hear, they would make their entrance at the most perfect timing to piss him off.

 

" I'm pretty sure I've paid for that. "

 

"You have second thoughts?" Carol heard Ross ask to Rhodey.

 

At that moment, Rhodey heard his friends walking in and smirked, " Not anymore, " he stated and looked at them.

 

Hologram Ross looked at Carol and Natasha with all his anger in his eyes. Natasha could tell his heart was beating fast, he might even get a heart attack just because of her, but he somehow sounded calm when he spoke, " Nice of you to show up, Captain, Romanoff. Thought you were done after that thing fell down the sky. "

 

" If the world needs us, we come, " Carol replied.

 

"You really think you can just decide to come back , Captain? After what you did ? "

 

Carol took a step forward, " You know I did the right thing, it would just be too hard on you ego to admit it . "

 

R oss turned to Rhodey and said, " Arrest Ms Romanoff for her crimes against the Sokovia Accords and Ms. Danvers for being her accomplice. "

 

R hodey could barely hold his chuckle, " All over it, " he replied and hung up the holo-conference.

 

"He's still that intense… bad for his heart, " Natasha joked before taking a few step forward to greet Rhodey, " Good to see you, man. "

 

" You, too. All four of you. And you are? "

 

Yelena groaned, " Natasha's sister, Yelena. I should get it tattooed, wouldn't have to say it every time. "

 

"I'll try to remember," said a voice from the other side of the room, "Never knew Natasha had a sister."

 

As the person stepped into the light, Carol and Natasha recognised Bruce. It felt like an illusion at first, they had not seen him for three years and now here he stood, awkwardly fidgeting with the sleeves of some old clothes of his that moved from the tower to the compound.

 

Carol and Natasha shared a gaze before the former said, "Damn doc, I thought we'd never see you again, where have you been?"

 

"Um… Just space-” he replied and was cut off by Natasha hugging him.

 

"We thought you were gone."

 

"Me too, to be honest.”

 

As Natasha and Bruce took a minute to catch up, Pietro stormed into the room and hugged his sister, "Are you all right?" he asked, clearly worried.

 

"I am. It's Vision who's hurt."

 

P ietro looked back at Vision and gave them a thanking nod for protecting Wanda. Carol was glad Pietro and Vision were getting along better, they were both very important to Wanda, a feud between them wouldn ' t help her.

 

P ietro tried to talk to Yelena but she could tell he was about to flirt and she was not interested in that. Instead, she asked him to help supporting Vision and went to see Carol, “This is cool, reunions with old friends but shouldn ' t we be dealing with all the aliens that are attacking the planet? "

 

"You're right," Carol replied and said loudly, "Okay people, we've got a plan to make."

 

Carol went to the living room, followed closely by the whole group. On the way, Natasha joined her and her gave a squeeze to support her. Natasha knew as much as Carol that this fight would be different, they knew it would be big even with the little information they had. Carol wasn't fully ready to hear what Bruce and Rhodey knew on their side but everybody had to be aware of everything to be able to make the best plan.

 

"So, Bruce, Rhodey, what do you know?" Carol started.

 

"The one in charge, he's big, literally and figuratively. Name's Thanos, he is after what Dr. Strange called the Infinity Stones."

 

"And he has an army," Rhodey added, "You guys fought a part of it, the rest came here and took Tony, Strange and Parker."

 

"The spider boy?" Natasha asked.

 

"Okay, we are going to need a lot more than that. First of all, Bruce, who's that Dr. Strange?"

 

"He said he is a sorcerer and he has one of the Infinity Stones. Vision's got one, too," everybody looked at Vision and the stone in his head, "There's a total of six Infinity Stones. One is the Tesseract, Thanos got it from Loki, who he sent on Earth to attack it in the first place. He's been going on many planets all over the universe and kills half the population. That's what he wants to do with the stones, wipe out half of the universe's population. I don't know where the other stones are but we have to assume he'll look for them, when I faced him, he already had one and was looking for the Tessaract."

 

"You faced him, where?"

 

"On a spaceship, Asguardians. They lost their home. Thor saved me from some weird planet and now I don't know where he is. Thanos was beating the shit out of him."

 

"That's bad," Yelena commented, "If that alien can beat the God from space we are in deep shit."

 

"She's right," Rhodey said, "We don't know much yet but they did everything they could to get the stone from Strange, destroyed some streets with just a few of them."

 

"Okay, let me sum this up. We've got a guy named Thanos who wants to get the Infinity Stones and already has two, maybe three since he got this Dr. Strange person. Tony and Spider-Man are in a spaceship with Strange, Thor is in space as well, probably injured. Meanwhile, we had people trying to get Vision's stone."

 

"We have to assume they are coming back, right?" Rhodey asked.

 

"And they can clearly find us," commented Wanda, still very affected by the attack on her and Vision.

 

Bruce, who was the only one who had been pacing the whole time, stopped and looked at Natasha, "We need all hands on deck. Where is Clint?" he asked.

 

Suddenly, the whole room froze, nobody said a word. It had been a while since they spoke of Clint, thought of him, even Natasha. But hearing his name, and the fact that Bruce didn't know he died, it was hard on everybody, even the ones who didn't know him much. While they all remained mute, Bruce spun around, looking for someone who'd answer him, match his gaze, and to everybody's surprise it's Wanda who spoke, "Clint was killed by Ultron, shortly before the Hulk- you left in a jet."

 

On Bruce's face appeared a mix of grief and guilt, because he knew this mention of Clint hurt some people in the room, "I- I'm so sorry," he eventually muttered and walked carefully in direction of Natasha to give her a pat in the back, "Sorry, Nat."

 

"It's okay, you couldn't know."

 

"So, are we all that's left?” Bruce asked.

 

Carol shook her head, "We have some allies in Wakanda."

 

"How good are these allies? 'Cause Thanos has the biggest army in the universe and he is not gonna stop until he- he gets… Vision's stone."

 

"Then we have to protect it," Natasha stated.

 

"No, we have to destroy it," Vision argued "I've been giving a good deal of thought to this entity in my head, about it's nature, but also it's composition," they said and turned to Wanda, "I think it were exposed to a sufficiently powerful energy source, something very similar to it's own signature, perhaps… it's molecular integrity could fail."

 

"Yeah, and you with it. We're not having this conversation."

 

"Eliminating the stone is the only way that Thanos can't get it."

 

"That's too high a price."

 

"Only you have the power to pay it."

 

"There might be a better option," Carol interrupted, "Our allies in Wakanda, one of them is a literal genius. I'm talking smarter than Tony and I'm really disappointed that he's not here to hear this. Her technology is much more advanced than what Earth has, it's similar to some tech I've seen in space, but she made it better. I think going there is our best option, to save Vision and fight Thanos."

 

"I don't see how that helps," Vision commented.

 

"It's actually brilliant," Bruce replied, "Your mind is made up of a complex construct of overlays, Jarvis, Ultron, Tony, me, the stone. All of them mixed together, all of them learning from one another. If we take out the stone, there still a whole lot a vision left, perhaps the best parts. So, if this ally is as good as Carol says, we might be able to do it."

 

There was a silence in the room, but Yelena was fast to break it, "Are we going to seat on our asses or are we going to take the jet and get to Wakanda?"

 

Carol was the first to walk in direction of the hangar and the rest of the team followed. Most of everybody's gears were there, Rhodey's War Machine suit, Pietro's bullet proof outfit, Sam's Falcon wings and the shield.

 

"Are you taking it?" asked Rhodey, who knew Sam went to Wakanda to train with it.

 

"I don't know if now is the right time."

 

"This Thanos guy might kill us all so, if that shield can make you fight better, take it," Yelena commented as she passed by.

 

"Well, she's right," Rhodey added to encourage Sam.

 

After a sigh, Sam took the shield off its rack and stared at it, "Bucky better be right."

 

As everybody prepared – even Yelena who borrowed a couple guns from Natasha's locker – Carol and Natasha stood a few meters away, both concerned and restless.

 

"I should have been out there, I would have heard of it, of him, now we are all in grave danger."

 

Natasha looked at Carol, " What tells you you would have heard of him, the universe is infinite, after all. "

 

Carol scoffed, " You don't realise how many people I know, how many planets I've visited. At least one of them would have heard of him. "

 

"Carol, if you had been out there, you wouldn't have there to save me," Natasha said and stood before her girlfriend, "I would be in prison, or worse. You chose to be with me, to stay with me and I am so grateful because you saved my life more times than I could ever have imagined. This," Natasha said and pointed and Carol and then herself, "is what you chose, it's what matters the most. You are just one person, and you can't handle every bad thing that happens in the universe. You chose what was important, and if I were you I would have done the same thing."

 

"If you were me and had known about Thanos sooner you wouldn't have gone after him?"

 

"No. Because I don't want a universe if you are not in it. I know you feel the same, and we both know that without you I wouldn't be there today," Natasha replied and cupped Carol's cheeks.

 

"I don't like when you talk about that day," that day being the day Natasha wanted to kill herself.

 

"I know you don ' t, but it helps you rem ember how important you are. You can be important even if it ' s not to save people, you are important Carol, you are everything to me . "

 

" Fucking superhero guilt. "

 

"I know, my love, this shit's awful," Natasha said and tiptoed to kiss Carol's forehead, "I heard our therapists want to write a book about it, actually."

 

This comments earned Natasha a light giggle from Carol, " Really? "

 

" No, actually, I have no idea. But it would be great, and they have enough experience to write between me, you, Sam, Wanda, Tony. "

 

" Yeah, that book would be a best seller. "

 

" We should tell them, they could get rich. "

 

" We should, " Carol agreed, " and we should also get to the jet ' cause your sister is looking like she ' s gonna kill us right now. "

 

Natasha turned around to see Yelena staring at them and rolled her eyes, " We can ' t have one second for ourselves with her. "

 

" I mean, she has a point. "

 

N atasha allowed herself ten more seconds of closeness with Carol before letting her go get the jet ready. The moment she left, Yelena joined Natasha.

 

"Do you think Carol's sickness from yesterday was linked to Thanos getting the Tesseract?"

 

"I haven't thought about that but since Vision felt it coming with his stone, it's possible."

 

"Did Wanda mentioned a weird feeling too? Or her brother?"

 

"Didn't ask Pete, Wanda didn't mention that? Doesn't mean it's not it."

 

"You should go check on Carol, the last two days have been hard for her."

 

Natasha looked confused, "Why were you staring at us a minute ago if you want me to go back to her?"

 

"I was concerned, okay? I'm not the best when it comes to say it, so I just checked on you."

 

Natasha was close to joke about Yelena caring for Carol, but she was actually glad that she did and didn't want her to stop. Instead, she left without a word and joined Carol in the jet.

 

"My sister mentioned something interesting. You were probably sick yesterday because Thanos was getting the stone."

 

Keeping her eyes on the commands, Carol replied, "Hopefully that won't happen when we fight him, I'm not sure I'd be up to it in these conditions."

 

"We didn't really get to talk about it," Natasha pointed out as she sat beside Carol, "That bad?"

 

Carol turned to look at Natasha, her eyes full of worry, "Honestly I never experienced that much pain in my life, during these few seconds when I couldn't breathe, I thought my life was over."

 

"Might have been when he got the stone."

 

"I hope that's it. If it's something else, if he can mess with my powers, I'm gonna be useless. And without Thor, I'm not sure we stand a chance."

 

"What about Wanda?"

 

"We haven't been there for her for a while now, I don't think she's reached the half of her potential."

 

"Let's hope she did and hope that this guy can't affect your power, okay," Natasha said as she stroked her thumb on the back of Carol's hand, "We need to be optimistic, we have a whole life ahead of us, right."

 

These words made Carol think of the ring, that was right there against her heart. She wanted to propose to Natasha so bad, to promise her they would spend the rest of their days together, get a house of their own, have kids, cats, dogs, everything they dreamt of. But they were going to battle, and Sam and Rhodey were walking in direction of the jet, bested by Pietro at the entry. It was not the moment for Carol to propose, but she wanted to, so bad, and wouldn't wait a second when the fight would be over, and whatever would happen during that fight would not stop her, except death.

 

Carol couldn't let her trail of thought go further, she had to focus to fly the quinjet. When the last members of the team joined, Natasha closed the rear hatch and Carol entered Wakanda's coordinates. Yelena then took the pilot seat, letting Carol, Natasha and Rhodey handle the talking with T'Challa.

 

The Wakandan King was not surprised to receive this call from the Avengers and was already quite aware of the situation. Rhodey and Carol filled the gaps, giving the identity of the attacker and their goal, and Natasha warned him on the importance of the threat.

 

"We are going to need all the help we can get from your side. We don't have Thor and Tony, and Vision and Wanda will remain hidden. They can find us, they'll know where we are, the fight is coming."

 

Carol asked to talk to Shuri while T'Challa was gathering fighters in each tribes of Wakanda. She explained the situation to her, the reason why they had to separate the stone from Vision and Bruce came to help with the details about how they made Vision. Sadly Shuri could not do much from where she was standing, she needed to analyse Vision's body herself to have a better understanding.

 

The team got to Wakanda as quickly as the jet's speed allowed them. They were welcomed by T'Challa, Okoye and the Dora Milaje. After quick greetings, T'Challa led most of them to Shuri's lab while Bucky joined those who were staying outside with a brand new Vibranium arm. On the way, Natasha got to introduce her sister to T'Challa who had heard a lot about her when she and Carol stayed in Wakanda, and Pietro asked so many questions about Wakandan technology that Carol was already bored of nerd talks.

 

It didn ' t get any better when they arrived in Shuri ' s lab, of course. Bruce and Pietro were both extremely impressed with what they were seeing while the rest of the team didn ' t understand anything of what Shuri and Bruce were talking about. Carol could have understood parts of it but she was too concerned by the incoming fight to focus on their conversation.

 

The only thing she knew was that Shuri could take the stones out of Vision but it would take time, which they didn ' t have. Shuri barely had time to say she needed time that an alarm alerted the whole building of an intruder.

 

"Something's entered the atmosphere," Okoye said with an ominous tone.

 

Everybody went to the windows to look at the sky and witnessed the crash of an alien ship on the Vibranium barrier that protected the capital city of Wakanda.

 

"We've got more incoming outside the dome," warned Rhodey from his War Machine suit.

 

The impacts of the ships – that weren't landing smoothly – made the Earth quake and got the whole team on high alert. Carol could see Natasha was worried, she was biting her nails, something she only did at a high level of nervousness.

 

"It's too late. We need to destroy the stone, now," Said Vision as they struggled to get up.

 

"Vision, get your ass back on the table," Natasha replied, it was clearly an order. Vision complied, knowing he was too weak to argue.

 

"We will hold them off," assured T'Challa as the whole team minus Wanda made their way to join the fight.

 

Carol looked back at Wanda, "The moment this things out, you know what to do," Wanda nodded, "keep us posted on comms, I want to know everything that's happening everywhere."

 

"Evacuate the city. Engage all defences," T'Challa told his people.

 

On the way, Carol heard Yelena asking Natasha why they kept Wanda – the second strongest Avenger that was in Wakanda – away from the fight, only to be remembered that, in theory, only she could destroy the stone. Yelena still thought it was a bad idea to fight without her, which Carol agreed with in a way, but it was also dangerous to let the stone without anything or anybody that could destroy it.

 

Back where they landed the jet, a few carriers were waiting to get them all as well as the Dora Milaje and the Royal Guard closer to the fight, away from the city and at the border of the Vibranium dome. Sam and Rhodey were already in the air, Bruce was in the anti-Hulk suit and Bucky had a brand new assault rifle. Yelena and Pietro joined Bucky and Carol ordered them to stick together, watch each other's back and not try to be the hero.

 

On the other side of the barrier were standing two aliens, one that Natasha and Carol fought in Scotland and another big one. T'Challa, Natasha and Carol went to the barrier to talk to them.

 

"Where is your other friend?" Natasha asked the female alien.

 

"You will pay for his life with yours. Thanos will have that stone."

 

"You wish," Carol said with a provocative smirk.

 

"You are in Wakanda now. Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood."

 

"We have blood to spare," the alien told them before raising her sword to indicate that the fight was about to begin.

 

The trio went back to the troops as the spaceships opened behind them. They could already hear the beasts that were inside, awaiting to fight, to kill.

 

"They surrender?" Bucky asked as they joined the team.

 

Carol smirked, in an amused way this time, "You wish."

 

The sounds of the aliens were getting closer as T'Challa began to shout in Xhosa. Every Wakandan around mirrored him, which sent shivers through Carol's spin.

 

That was it, the fight of their lives was coming to them and it would decide the faith of half of the population of Earth as well as all the other planets'. The chatters around Carol were not disturbing her from her goal, which was defeating every single one of these aliens that were coming to get Vision's stone.

 

They all stood and watch the massacre that was the scene before their eyes. Hundreds of six-legged aliens crashing in the Vibranium dome, attempting to get inside, getting their limbs and heads cut off. The more crashed on the barrier, the less effective it was, and a few aliens eventually managed to get in, and then there were dozens.

 

They weren't enough to be threatening though, the front line was able to take them down from distance and from the air. But, each time one got in, the barrier was getting weaker and they eventually understood that they could get in from all around the dome, which would give them a position advantage.

 

"Cap, these things circle the perimeter and get in behind us, there's nothing between them and Vision."

 

"Let them get in, then," Carol said looked at T'Challa, who nodded in agreement.

 

With his earpiece, TChalla communicated with the person controlling the defences, "On my signal, open North West, section seventeen."

 

"Requesting confirmation, My King. You said open the barrier?"

 

"On my signal."

 

"This will be the end of Wakanda," commented M'Baku, leader of the Jabari tribe.

 

"Then it will be the noblest ending in history," Okoye replied.

 

The front line got ready, Bucky reloaded his gun, Natasha took her batons out and Carol fists turned golden. T'Challa took a few steps forward, spoke in Xhosa before starting the biggest intergalactic war that Earth had ever known.

 

"Wakanda forever!"

Chapter 77: The first of their lives

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Every single soldier started running at the same time as the dome control person opened a section of the barrier. Carol and Natasha shared a glance before Carol took off and joined Rhodey and Sam in the air. With their guns, blasts, missiles and shield, they killed a good amount of the aliens that were attempting to get inside the dome, but there were still a lot of them that succeeded and that the people on the ground had to take care of.

 

T'Challa and Bruce were a part of the people that were in the middle of the battlefield, fighting aliens from all around them. Bucky and Yelena were in the back line, shooting the aliens that managed to pass the front line and were heading to Shuri's lab. It was all a big mess because there were so many opponents, so many sort of dog-shaped aliens that were coming, at it seemed that they weren't stopping to come.

 

C arol was fast to notice that Rhodey and Sam were more than capable of handling the aliens from the air, she wasn ' t needed there but she was needed on the ground. More and more aliens were passing the front line, not that they were killing people, it was just the ir number that made it impossible to stop them all.

 

A fter she located Natasha, Carol landed close to her, not to keep an eye on her but because she felt safe when Natasha was close. Carol felt much more useful on the ground, she was preventing any alien to go through the front line by being right behind it, and a few metres before the back line. Her powers allowed her to take down aliens even from afar and her perfect aim was still very much perfect.

 

B ut, as the fight went on, more soldier s from their side were taken down by the aliens, because they kept coming and coming. It was like there was a source in these ships and they were coming infinitely. With less fighters on the battlefield to take the aliens down, the front line was quickly confronted by bigger waves of aliens. Carol was trying her best to counterbalance their losses but it wasn't enough, the aliens kept coming. Even a n energy shield would not be enough, they needed to take down the source, the ships.

 

Bruce and T'Challa were in a bad position, both fighting half a dozen of aliens and losing. Carol wanted to go help them but she had to fight her own opponents and would love to get an energy boost to do so.

 

And her wish was granted the next minute. Bruce was now down with at least ten aliens ripping his suit when a large beam of light appeared in the middle of the battlefield. With it, thunder and an axe came, freeing Bruce and T'Challa. The beam disappeared to reveal Thor, accompanied by a tree looking alien and a racoon. Carol recognised them, they were from the Guardians of the Galaxy, Rocket and Groot.

 

It felt like time stopped when Thor arrived, every fighter from Earth allowed themselves a break while Thor killed hundreds of aliens with only one strike of his axe on the floor.

 

Then, he looked back at Carol and walked her way, "Photon, wanna have some fun?"

 

C arol smiled as she prepared herself to be charged up, " Hit me, Thunder! "

 

A s Thor summed the thunder, Carol got in the air with her fists ready to strike every aliens that attempted to enter the dome. When the thunder hit her, Carol released all the energy absorbed in photon blasts, probably her strongest ever. It killed all the aliens, from those in the dome to the forest outside of it, which gave everybody a little break, but more were still coming.

 

"Can you take down these ships?" Carol asked Thor, "We need to stop them from coming."

 

"On it," Thor replied and flew away.

 

New dog-looking aliens were approaching the dome, and with them, their leaders. These two were much stronger and had powerful weapons. The Wakandan s and the Avengers were still handling the fight quite nicely, but Thanos ' army had other tools.

 

The ground suddenly shook, the trees outside the dome were falling and then giant drilling machine s entered the dome, passing under the barrier. It surprised many and killed even more, the soldiers having nowhere to escape these machines. Carol didn ' t hesitate to fly through one of them to destroy it and, when she got out, she saw that another one was going right in Natasha's way and she could not get there on time.

 

Carol screamed, told Natasha to get down but she couldn't hear her. The machine was getting extremely close to her and Okoye when Wanda landed in front of it and pushed it back. Carol was relieved and glad that Wanda was there, her powers were very useful with these machines around, she was very much needed.

 

The fight didn't seem to come close to its end, and worse was coming, " Guys, we got a Vision situation here, " Sam said through the comms.

 

"I got him," Bruce replied and headed towards Vision's last known location.

 

" I'm coming, too. The rest of you, stay there and fight, " Carol replied, even if she knew Wanda would soon join to help Vision.

 

Carol wished she had the suit Tony made for her, with FRIDAY she would be able to know where Sam saw Vision for the last time. But since she wasn't connected to any of Tony's tech, she had to look for him the hard way.

 

The first place to search was close to Shuri's lab, of course, whoever was fighting Vision couldn't have taken him that far. Carol flew over the area, tried to find Vision but the visibility was bad because there were a lot of trees. Carol decided that she would look for them on foot and dove into these woods.

 

A t first, there was nothing, no sight of Vision or any alien, just trees and bushes. Then, Carol heard a loud noise, close to some water considering the sound, and then there was an explosion at the top of the dome. Bruce had been fighting an alien that was after Vision, but another one was still after them.

 

Vision was still a bit weak because of his injury, he couldn't fight back as well as when he was at full capacity. Therefore, Carol had to be quick, to find them before this alien could hurt them or worse.

 

Carol ran across these woods, hoping she would see or hear something other than the battle that was happening down in the valley. There was nothing, until Carol heard Vision grunting and rushed in that direction. She saw him and the second alien she fought with Natasha and Yelena in Scotland. The alien had their weapon deep in Vision's abdomen and got it out just in time for Carol to kick it away from them and punch their face at the same time.

 

As they exchanged punches, Carol was surprised that this alien was still so strong after the hit they took not even a day ago. Just when Carol was getting bored of kicking this alien's ass and decided to end their life, Vision joined the fight to stab them in the back before collapsing onto the ground.

 

"I had him, you know," Carol told Vision as she bent down to look closer at their wound.

 

Carol couldn't do anything to help Vision, his body wasn't human and she didn't have the skills to treat him but Wanda could, and she arrived just in time for that.

 

"How is it going back there?" Carol asked and let her place beside Vision to Wanda.

 

"They could use some help," Wanda replied.

 

Carol was about to fly back to the battlefield, confident enough that Wanda could protect Vision on her own, when she suddenly felt the same violent stomach ache as two days ago at Yelena's. She wasn't the only one in pain, Vision was groaning as well. It only lasted a couple seconds, but when it stopped, they both knew what was coming.

 

"He's here," Vision said.

 

Helping the others would have to wait. This time, Carol, Wanda and Vision were the ones who needed help, "We need backup ASAP. Thanos is on his way."

 

Quickly, Bruce joined the group, followed by Sam and Natasha, Okoye and T'Challa and finally Yelena. They all knew what they had to do, stall, until Vision convinced Wanda to do it, to destroy the stone and kill him.

 

Bruce went first and Thanos turned him translucent to avoid his punch before sending him in a rock. T'Challa jumped on Thanos but he grabbed him by the neck and threw him on the ground. He did the same with Bucky, who was shooting at him, and imprisoned Yelena and Natasha under rocks that he created with one of the stone.

 

Seeing Natasha in trouble was what made Carol go in, but she was quickly sent back to the ground, with a weird feeling when she got up, as if Thanos just pulled some of her powers out of her. She shook the feeling off and got back up to see that Wanda had her hand rose in direction of Vision's head, about to destroy the stone.

 

As she saw that, Carol also noticed that Sam was on the ground on one side of Thanos and the shield h a d disappeared, Rhodey ' s missiles weren ' t enough against Thanos, who used the stones to protect himself and to cause an engine failure in Rhodey ' s suit.

 

There, Carol understood. She was the last one standing, everybody around her was down, injured or imprisoned. Carol could see Natasha behind Thanos, stuck under a rock, and wished she could go get her out of there but she had to fight him while Wanda was destroying the stone.

 

Poor Wanda, she had finally met someone who understood her, who helped her with her struggles, and now she had to be their killer. Carol was a hundred percent certain she would not be able to do what Wanda was about to do, she could never trade Natasha's life for the universe. That's why they came to Wakanda in the first place, so Wanda wouldn't have to do it, but sadly it was the only solution they had left.

 

Already exhausted from all the fighting, Carol took a second to straight up her posture, breathed properly and walked in direction of Thanos. She would be lying if she said he wasn't impressive, but that was surely because of his species. Carol knew them, Titans, she heard of what happened on their planet and it all made sense. Overpopulation, that was how Thanos’ planet, Titan, perished. It was what Thanos was fighting, why he wanted half the population of the universe gone, to avoid what happened to his home.

 

But that could not happen, the outcome would be too horrendous, Carol would not let him. She would fight him with all her strength, even if it meant he would drain all the power out of her, she would fight until her very last breath as long as the last stone was destroy and the universe safe. In a corner of her mind, Carol kept the image of Natasha, to remember what she was truly fighting for, a future with the love of her life.

 

Thanos was wait ing for Carol to make a move, as if it didn ' t matter that she could stop him. He seemed overly confident, like he knew he had already won. Carol already hated him because of his mission but now she also hated his attitude as well .

 

At this moment, Carol didn ' t control her rage and ran towards him with the intention of punching his head so hard it would be ripped off his body. But the reality wasn ' t so pleasant. When her fist hit his chest, Carol felt like he punched her back, yet he had not moved a bit. She punched him another time, harder, and felt a sharp pain in her belly. This time, Carol took a step back and looked at her opponent, completely confused. Thanos was still standing there, doing nothing, except that his expression changed, he was smirking.

 

After a chuckle, Thanos rose his left gloved fist, on which the space stone – that is the original source of Carol ' s powers – was glowing, " You really thought you could beat me, Captain? " he said stepped forward, " Maybe if I was not wearing this, you could, but with it I am inevitable. "

 

T he punch that followed took Carol off guard, she was still realising that the stone was draining her powers back when Thanos ' fist touched her chest. The pain was as strong as a day ago, when Thanos got the Tesseract from Loki and added the space stone on his gauntlet. Except that this time, the pain didn ' t go away after a minute, it was staying strong, making Carol feel like her body was being teared apart, but she had to keep fight despite the pain, because the last stone was still not destroyed.

 

It was now a real fight, each one trying to land a punch, but after every punch, it seemed that Thanos was closer to win ing , even if it was Carol ' s that were reaching her target. Each punch made Carol weaker, she could feel her powers leaving her body, her strengths diminishing, but she kept going, she could not stop. Her strikes were not ineffective, Thanos was stepping back, his mouth and arcade were bleeding, but he was still in a much better shape than Carol.

 

After what it felt like a decade for Carol, but was probably less than a minute, Thanos decided he had enough of Carol. He grabbed her by the neck, strangled her with his whole hand and threw her in the nearest tree. Carol barely felt her back hitting the tree, she was already in so much pain that nothing could hurt more.

 

With her last strengths, she opened her eyes to see that Wanda was still working on destroying the stone, and was pushing Thanos back at the same time. She really is the strongest of us, Carol thought as the stone in Vision ' s head burst into hundreds of pieces.

 

That was the last thing Carol saw, the explosion, that meant they won. Thanos could not achieve his goal with five stones, he needed the last one and Wanda just reduced it to pieces, killing her lover as she did.

 

With that in mind, Carol closed her eyes and stopped fighting. The last thoughts she had as she struggled to breathe were about Natasha, of course, about the ring that she had in her suit, that was surely destroyed now, and the future they could have had together. Carol regretted nothing, not even the previous minute of her life, because thanks to that last effort Natasha would live, and that was all that mattered to Carol.

 

Natasha.

 

Carol could swear she was hearing her, yet everything she could hear was an awful hiss, that would be the last straw to someone who had a migraine, that would wake up anybody in the night. But Natasha's voice was still there, calling her name, asking her, begging her to get up. It felt so real. Carol wanted to turn around, to see if it was really Natasha shouting, pleading, desperately crying for Carol to get up and keep fighting.

 

Carol please, you have to fight, you have to live . I know you still have strength in you. It ' s part of you, he can ' t take it away from you . Fight, my love, fight.

 

As right as that was, Carol didn't feel like she could. But she wanted to be wrong, she wanted to be wrong so bad.

 

Come on Carol, you can't give up. Fight him, show him who's Captain Marvel, show him who's Carol Danvers.

 

At that moment, nothing mattered more for Carol that to prove herself wrong, to prove that Natasha was right, that she could fight. Natasha's voice helped Carol to keep going, to keep trying.

 

Come on baby, get up! Fight! For us, for me.

 

That was her biggest strength after all, Natasha, she was Carol ' s reason to live, the only person that ever made her want to stop being a hero.

 

For Natasha, Carol looked inside of her, for the source of her powers, and found enough to open her eyes. For Natasha, she rubbed her eyes to be able to see the lightning that was hitting Thanos, the beam of power that he sent back at Thor, who threw Stormbreaker at it. For Natasha, Carol pushed herself up on her elbows to see Stormbreaker piercing through Thanos ' chest and then Thor landing in front of him to push it further into his body.

 

U sing the tree behind her to help herself up, Carol watched Thor terminating Thanos ' life, but something was off. He still had that look on his face, that confidence that he would win, it was still there despite the pain. Then, Carol saw his fist, his gauntlet, with the six stones on it, and she understood.

 

Power rushed back into her body as Thanos rose his left hand, his thumb and middle finger pressed together. Never in her life Carol flew so fast with that little strength in her, both her arms in front of her to reach Thanos ' hand as fast as possible. Somehow, she made it on time, and stopped Thanos from snapping his fingers. They were so big, her whole hands weren ' t enough to completely surround them, but they were enough to prevent the snap.

 

It took Thor a second to understand what almost happened, and what he had to do next. That second felt like an eternity for Carol, but when he did it, when Thor took Stormbreaker out of Thanos chest to sever Thanos' head from his neck, and his hand from his arm, Carol could let go and collapsed on the ground as Thanos' lifeless body did the same.

 

Carol was too exhausted to be disgusted by Thanos ' head rolling down beside her. With one arm, Carol pulled herself towards a fallen tree and rested her back against it as she held her belly with the other. She was taking deep breaths, even if it made her feel like her lungs were on fire, and observed Thor as he poked the gauntlet with his axe. Carol couldn ' t get her eyes off the space stone, the source of her power s , the reason why she couldn ' t fight Thanos, or rather the reason why she couldn't win in a fight against him.

 

Carol truly thought she would die, and the person that saved her came running to her side when she was finally freed, " There you are, " Natasha cried as she knelt beside Carol and pulled her into her arms, " there you are. "

 

Having Natasha's arms around her body made Carol feel more alive than ever. She was in her safe space, she was home, nothing else mattered more than them at that moment. Carol did everything she could to hug her back, to pull her closer, but she could only move her left arm without feeling like she was getting stabbed in her shoulder. Carol ran her hand in Natasha's red and blond hair, knowing it appeased her, and tucked her face in her neck to soothe herself. She knew Natasha's sobs were tears of relief, she surely thought for a moment that her girlfriend die d and needed to let it out.

 

Everything around the couple was secondary, they were too focused on each other to notice what was happening. Yet, Thor flew away to go deal with the last aliens that were still entering the dome, T'Challa took Thanos' severed hand and ordered Okoye to bring it to his sister. Wanda was crying over Vision’s dead body, comforted by her brother. Rhodey was helping Bucky and Rocket up and Sam and Yelena were looking at Carol and Natasha, concerned about Carol's health status.

 

Carol did what she could with the little strength she was getting back to sit up, but it was only with the help of Natasha that she found a comfortable position. Natasha sat cross-legged beside her, facing her, and pulled their forehead together.

 

"I thought you were dead," she muttered.

 

"To be honest me too," Carol replied and cupped Natasha's cheek with her non-injured hand, "You okay?"

 

"Am I okay? Are you kidding? Look at you!"

 

"Yeah… Not my best look, my prefect face took a serious hit," Carol joked, which was a good sign considering her state, "I kinda feel like now is a great time to quit, what do you think?"

 

A brief smile appeared on Natasha's lips, "Sounds good, yeah," she said and sniffled.

 

"Wanna do something normal for a change, like-"

 

"Wanna get married?"

 

Carol almost chocked, "What?" she let out, not sure she heard Natasha right. After all her ears were still very painful.

 

"I mean, normal people get married, so we could do that, maybe here," Natasha explained.

 

Carol giggled, "When I thought normal I was thinking going to a concert together but your idea is way better than mine."

 

"We can go to a concert too," Natasha agreed and pressed a kiss on Carol's lips.

 

"After we get married."

 

"Obviously," Natasha replied and kissed her again.

 

"Taylor Swift?"

 

Natasha smiled, "Of course."

 

After another kiss, Carol tried to reach for the inside of her suit to get her ring, but it was in her left pocket and she couldn't move her right arm.

 

"What's wrong, baby?" Natasha asked, suddenly concerned by Carol's desperate face.

 

"Can you reach the inside of my suit, the pocket on your right."

 

Carol watched Natasha as she did as asked and grinned when Natasha saw the box and opened it, "I got it a few months ago, with Yel and Sam when he visited. That's what Yelena was hiding. Can't believe it's intact after the punches I took."

 

It seemed that Natasha was as mesmerised by the diamond as Carol and Yelena were back when she bought the ring, "I wanted to find the perfect moment to propose to you but I guess perfection doesn't exist, except when it comes to you so," Carol sat up as straight as she could and held Natasha's hand that was holding the box, "Natasha Romanoff, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

 

Natasha smiled as she matched Carol's gaze and kissed her before say, "I do."

Notes:

I have finally posted this chapter!! Please tell me all your thoughts about it

Chapter 78: Debrief

Chapter Text

"We are in the endgame now," Dr Strange stated as he held his stomach.

 

Tony was not in a great shape either, he would definitely need medical care very soon but for now he was more worried about the fate of the universe, "What do we do now?" he asked Strange, expecting some hope from him.

 

"It's not in our hands, we can only wait."

 

"Wait for what?" Peter Quill shouted, "For our deaths? Sorry but I'm done waiting, I need to do something."

 

"There is nothing to do, our fate is in the hand of two people, one bond, that's how we win."

 

While this sounded very vague for everybody around, it was pretty clear to Tony. The only bond he could think of was Natasha's and Carol's. There was also the twins, Vision and Wanda, but to Tony, it was Natasha and Carol who had the strongest bond and who could do anything together. He was always jealous of them, because of their bond that was unbreakable. If one thing could save half of the universe, it was their love, Tony was sure of it.

 

But what scared him was that one of them might have to sacrifice themself in order to save the world, and he didn't want that to happen. Tony wanted to witness their wedding, make jokes about how their friendship lasted way too long and how annoyingly in love they were. He hoped he would see them become parents, maybe their kids and his could play together at the park or at each other's house, that would be so fun to watch.

 

Nothing could happen to them, if the fate of half the universe was in the 'hands' of their love, then Tony was a hundred percent certain that everything would be all right.

 

It was hard for the rest of the people there to accept that they couldn't do anything. Quill was grumbling, probably calling Strange names. Peter was apologising every minute, saying he should have pulled on the gauntlet harder to take it off Thanos' hand. They eventually all agreed to go back to the Guardians' ship, the Benatar , to wait for their destiny.

 

They were on the way to the ship when Strange stopped walking because he heard a sound. Then, Tony heard it too, and Nebula, and then the whole team. It was coming from the Benatar, it was a voice, that the Guardians knew very well.

 

"Quill, do you copy? "

 

Quill rushed inside to answer, "Rocket, I copy. What happened, where are you and Groot at?"

 

" Got a weapon for Thor and went to Earth. We faced him, Quill. Thanos, he's dead. "

 

"Is Carol Danvers okay?" Strange asked out of nowhere, Tony surprised he knew her name.

 

"She took a bad hit but she will be fine. She saved us all, stopped Thanos from snapping."

 

At that, Strange smiled, which was oddly satisfying, "We won," he told his new team mates, "she stopped him, we won."

 

While everybody shouted in joy and relief, Tony sat down and let out a long sigh. They did it, saved the world thanks to their love. If that wasn't the proof that they were soulmate, Tony didn't know what could be. These two, they really were meant for each other.

 

"Sorry about your partner though," Strange told Quill.

 

There was nothing that would make him feel better. They might have won the war, but he lost his love and that was the worst thing that could happen to a person. Tony couldn't imagine losing Pepper, he wouldn't survive it.

 

Now that they knew they won, Tony and his team could go back to Earth. Before leaving, Quill and Nebula noticed that the Benatar had been damaged during that battle and they did not have the equipment to necessary to fix it. With this problem, they would not be able to make it to Earth.

 

After communicating with Rocket and T'Challa, they found that the best option was for them to fly through a portal made by Strange to Wakanda.

 

"It's like a jump point but faster," Commented Drax as they arrived in Wakanda.

 

 

Even if Thanos was dead, and so were his generals, the aliens kept fighting, having no counter order to stop. But Thor had destroyed all their ships and he and M'Baku's people were enough to fight the last aliens that remained while the others were getting the injured to safety.

 

Natasha and Carol took a moment for themselves to make the most of their recent engagement before Natasha helped Carol to the infirmary. Carol felt fine, mostly, her energy was coming back and she was all giddy because she and Natasha were finally engaged, but her arm was still very painful and most likely broken.

 

Shuri quickly confirmed that theory, Carol's radius as well as her collar bone were broken. Considering how fast Carol could heal, Shuri advised her rest and no moving her arms for a few days. For once, Carol followed these recommendation and didn't feel guilty at all for not helping the other people that were injured. She knew the rest of the Avengers could handle it, and they would have to because she and Natasha were retiring.

 

It was something really big for Carol, deciding it was time for her to stop being a hero. She needed to talk about it with Natasha, but first they rested.

 

After napping for a couple hours, Natasha and Carol went to the bathroom, which gave Carol the time to talk. As they bathed, they discussed about what they expected for their future life together, starting with their wedding. They both didn't want to wait and would like, if possible, to get married in Wakanda in the next days. They would have to ask T'Challa if they could bring some of their friends that aren't in Wakanda, and they also wanted to talk with Wanda about it, since she just lost her partner. They wouldn't not get married if Wanda wasn't feeling well enough to watch them being the happiest people ever.

 

When Natasha mentioned retirement, Carol had to remind her that she would not be able to stay back and watch if a very big threat was attacking Earth or if she was called by the Guardians for help. While Natasha agreed with that first part, she wasn't thrilled to hear that Carol could leave her at any moment to go to space. That wasn't what she envisioned for their future and their retirement, that wasn't retirement to her.

 

Carol could tell this was really upsetting Natasha and she had to make things clearer so that they would agree on this point, too. Natasha was scared that Carol might go anytime the Guardians or Talos would call Carol because they 'could use some help' in a fight. That wasn't a good reason for Carol to leave, she would only leave Natasha if the threat was too big for them to handle, not if the fight would be easier with Carol.

 

That was all the reassurance Natasha needed. But, considering what they wanted for their future, Natasha added a clause in their agreement. From this day, and for the next five years, Carol could go to space and help if she was needed, but after these five years, she would have to stay with her family. The details of how they would make this family were still blurry but they were sure that they wanted kids as soon as possible and Natasha didn't want Carol gone when they'd have them.

 

Carol agreed with this clause, and that made her think of something else. Natasha becoming half Kree. They had not talked about it for a while but the last time they did, Natasha was okay with it. They knew that Natasha had to make the transition in the next few years, otherwise she and Carol wouldn't get older at the same time. That meant that, if they had kids in the next few years as well, they would outlive their kids, that wouldn't become Kree. That would be a tough situation, watching their kids die, but Carol had another option.

 

When she and Natasha would reach a hundred years old, they would leave Earth to go live on Skrullos. That way, they could enjoy life with their children and potential grandchildren and their departure would be as if they died. It wasn't the perfect option, but it would be the one that hurts less for them all. Natasha agreed that this idea was the best of all, but it made her laugh how much of their future they had already thought of.

 

Back to more present business, Natasha had to help Carol washing her body because of her injured right arm. Carol had not needed assistance in that department for a very long time but she really enjoyed it. Natasha was so gentle when she was taking care of her, soft in her motion to not cause any pain. She even kissed the few bruises Carol had on her skin, saying it would make her recovery faster.

 

"You sure your ribs aren't broken?" she asked after Carol groaned when she pressed her lips on her skin.

 

"It doesn't feel broken, just a bit sore. After all we fought for a while."

 

"That's true," Natasha replied as she got back on her feet and kissed Carol's lips, "Wouldn't hurt to rest a bit more before the debriefing. They won't do it without us, anyway."

 

Carol was usually a fan of debriefing, especially after a victory, but this time she was more attracted by another nap.

 

This time, they slept for about an hour and decided to make their way to Shuri's lab. Most of the team was there, except T'Challa and Rocket. They all seemed to have at least taken a shower, some might have rested as well.

 

"Everybody all right?" Carol asked as she stepped in, the first thing she noticed being Wanda talking with Shuri.

 

"Exhausted but okay," Bucky replied.

 

"What he said," Sam told her.

 

"How's the arm?" Yelena asked Carol.

 

"Will be fine soon," Carol answered before her curiosity made her go towards Wanda, "How are you holding up?"

 

Wanda looked at her with tears in her eyes, but she was also smiling, "Vision bought us a house," she said, "he left me a message, asked Shuri to save that memory of him."

 

"That's lovely, Wanda," Carol whispered as she pulled the young woman closer to her.

 

"He said that he wanted this place to be my home, for me and Pietro and for my friends and family. Whenever I'm ready, he said."

 

Natasha kept an ear out while she was talking to Yelena and she joined Carol after she asked Wanda if they could speak in private.

 

"How are you feeling?" Natasha asked her, even if she had an idea of the answer.

 

"About as well as I can. I have something to look forward to thanks to Vision."

 

"I heard some of it. It's really nice that he got a place for you."

 

"Are you guys okay? You seem… concerned."

 

Carol looked at Natasha before starting, "We are quite good, actually. But we need to ask you something before getting even more excited."

 

Wanda chuckled, "Okay, not mysterious at all."

 

"Yeah, it's just a big news, try to not scream too much," Carol warned.

 

"We are engaged," Natasha said as she showed Wanda the ring on her finger.

 

"Oh, my God! You finally did it!"

 

"We did," Carol confirmed, "and you are the first one to know."

 

At that, Natasha grimaced, "Actually Yelena knows… She saw the ring, I mean of course she did, she's Yelena."

 

"Well, you are still the first person we’ve told," Carol said to make it better, "and what we wanted to ask was if you would be okay if we were getting married in the next few days. Nothing's done yet, we haven't even asked T'Challa but we’d really want to get married here and we thought it might be hard for you since you just lost Vision. We can wait a little, that's okay."

 

"Are you kidding me? You get married now! I'm fine. I'm happy for you."

 

"You sure?"

 

 

"Of course I'm sure. I've been waiting for the two of you to get married since the day I read into Carol's mind… sorry about that… I mean it was so adorable, and the way you care about each other, I’ve always admired that. So I'm totally fine with it. I will cry yes, I'll be a bit sad but mostly I'll be happy."

 

Natasha was so glad to hear the news that she couldn't stop herself from squealing before pulling Wanda into a hug. Carol was next for a hug but, before she could, Rocket and T'Challa were back in the lab.

 

"We have incoming," Rocket shouted, which scared a big part of the people in the room.

 

"What do you mean by incoming?" Carol asked.

 

"Good incoming, follow us."

 

Everybody in the lab followed Rocket and T'Challa, each and every one of them curious to know what was that good 'incoming'. As they walked onto the landing strip, they were told by Rocket to step back.

 

"You can go, now," he said through a radio and suddenly an orange sparkling portal appeared.

 

They all took a few steps back as a space ship landed in Wakanda, space ship that Carol and Natasha knew.

 

"Is that the rest of the Guardians?" Natasha asked Rocket.

 

"And more than that," he replied with a smirk and made his way to join his friends.

 

Quill, Nebula, Drax and Mantis stepped out of the Benatar first, and they were followed by Peter Parker, who Carol assumed was Dr. Strange, and Tony. He seemed okay, although a bit confused by what he was seeing.

 

"Hey man, welcome to Wakanda," Carol said as she hugged Tony, "good to see you alive."

 

"You too," Tony replied and hugged Natasha, "Strange was basically saying that our fate was in you two, or your love, not exactly sure. So, I'm guessing your love is fine."

 

"Definitely fine," Natasha smirked, "since we are engaged."

 

"Ha!" Tony explained, "You hear that everybody, Natasha and Carol are engaged, how wonderful!"

 

Carol looked at Natasha with a bit of confusion in her eyes but she quickly understood why she told Tony. He was always better for announcements of that kind, he just had to shout and everybody around would listen to him.

 

"Speaking of fiancée, an idea where is mine?" he then asked the couple.

 

"With Happy, I assume. I'm sure T'Challa can arrange a phone call with her, don't worry."

 

"Oh yeah! It seems that T'Challa can do a lot of things here, I might never leave," Tony commented as he looked around at the beauty of Wakanda.

 

"Mister Stark, did you know Wakanda was so cool? It's crazy all the technology they have, I feel like I'm in a movie," said Peter Parker as he joined Tony, "also, this is Shuri, she is the King's sister and she is so smart it's insane."

 

Carol and Natasha left Tony alone to handle Parker and went to say hi to the Guardians of the Galaxy. They both instantly noticed the absence of Gamora, and Nebula was quick to explain what happened to them.

 

"In order to get the soul stone, you must make a sacrifice. Thanos took Gamora to Vormir and came back with the stone."

 

The couple couldn't do much except offer their condolences to the Guardians. It saddened them to know that, in order to win this war, they had to lose two people, two amazing people that were loved by many.

 

After everybody greeted each other and introduced themselves, T’Challa invited them all inside the royal palace so they could discuss. The main subject was the stones, that were right there on the table of the Citadel, still attached to the gauntlet.

 

They all sat at the round table, the Guardians opposite to T’Challa, Carol, Natasha and Tony. Yelena took a seat beside her sister, so did Pietro, while Strange took his distance from Tony and sat between Rhodey and Peter Parker.

 

“So, I think the most important question is this one. What do we do with this?” Tony began and pointed at the gauntlet with all six stones on it.

 

“Can we destroy them?” Yelena asked.

 

To that, Dr. Strange shook his head, “We can’t destroy the stones. They are at the centre of the universe’s balance, their powers are the stability of the universe, meaning if they were removed from this reality, said reality would suffer catastrophic consequences in time.”

 

“So, our initial plan would have caused the destruction of our universe,” Sam deduced.

 

“Yes, your plan was hot garbage, the only way to win this fight was by killing Thanos.”

 

Carol chuckled, “Thank you, Strange. Now, that doesn’t give us any idea of what to do with them.”

 

“The Time stone comes with me. I swore to be its keeper.”

 

“One down,” Tony commented, “What about the futures you saw? What did we do with them when we won?”

 

“I didn’t go that far.”

 

Tony rolled his eyes, “Of course you didn’t.”

 

“Wouldn’t it be safe here, in Wakanda?” Peter Parker suggested, “You guys have like the most impressive tech I’ve seen, you could keep them safe.”

 

“The only problem with that, kid, is that they would all but one be on the same planet. It would make Earth a target, even more than it’s already been.”

 

“Mr Stark is correct,” agreed T’Challa, “We can keep one stone safe but five is too big of a risk.”

 

“Which one?” asked Tony, “How do we choose the stone that stays here and the ones that go.”

 

“The Soul stone has to go back to Vormir,” Nebula said, “It’s the most difficult planet to access and only I know its coordinates, and I can erase them from my memory.”

 

“The Aether is a dangerous weapon. It shall be kept as far away from people as possible,” Thor told them.

 

Peter Quill spoke, “Same thing with the Power stone. We thought it would be safe on Xandar but it’s the first one Thanos got.”

 

“Xandar is too big of a planet to keep something as powerful as an Infinity stone safe,” Carol commented, “Best thing we can do is give them to people that will fear them but also worship their power. Populations that are isolated from the rest of the universe, that not many people know the existence.”

 

“We are talking as far from the Kree as possible then,” Rocket said, “These guys are everywhere.”

 

“Exactly, the Kree are always looking for more planets to conquer but they aren’t as strong as before. I think I know a couple planets that could do the trick. Far from any living planets, habitable only for the people that lives there. The Aether – whichever that one is – and the Power stone can go there.”

 

“So, we’ve got Time for Strange, red and purple for some planets, Soul on Vormir and either the Space or Mind stone here,” Tony concluded.

 

“Both have done so much bad on the planet,” Natasha said.

 

“But also good,” Wanda argued, “The Mind stone brought us Vision, without him Ultron would have won.”

 

Carol nodded, “She’s right. Mind stone stays in Wakanda, and the Space stone can go with the Guardians for a while, until you guys find a place to keep it safe.”

 

“Would be faster with you, Captain. We have to put the Soul stone where it belongs first.”

 

“And I’m sure you’ll find somewhere safe for the Space stone on the way. I wish I could help but I’ll already have to get the Reality and Power stones to these planets. It’s gonna take a while.”

 

Natasha only realised then that Carol would have to go to space for some time to accomplish this mission. She was the only one knowing these isolated planets, more people knowing would mean more chances for other people to find them.

 

“For now, the Time stone goes to Strange and the others stay safe in Wakanda. When we are all ready to leave, we’ll go.”

 

“You aren’t ready to leave?” Pietro asked.

 

“Well, I was hoping I could get married first, since you’re all here. If T’Challa is okay with that, of course.”

 

“I would love to celebrate your wedding here, my friend.”

 

“Huh! You guys really want to best me at the finish line. Can my fiancée at least be there to see it?”

 

“I am sure Natasha and Carol can make a list of the guests that they want to have there.”

 

Carol gave T’Challa an agreeing nod, “We’ll do that.”

 

“Is there anything else we should talk about? Thanos related,” asked Yelena.

 

Everybody around the table exchanged whispers, and eventually, Natasha spoke, “The world will be talking a lot about us in the next few days, I’m assuming they will want answers since nothing was filmed, for once. We’ll have Maria make a statement, it’s her job to tell the world what’s happened, not ours. We’ve done our job.”

 

“Natasha is right,” said T’Challa, “Now, since you are all staying, I shall find you some rooms. While I do, I’m sure James can show you around, he has some very adorable goats.”

 

“Goats!” Peter Parker exclaimed.

 

And just like that, most of the people around the table followed Bucky outside to meet his goats. There were only Carol, Natasha, Tony and Strange left. Natasha was surprised to see Yelena going with them, but happy to observe that she was walking beside Wanda and making sure the young woman was okay. Okoye had gone with them to supervise this group of tourist and T’Challa went to his people to find the Avengers places to stay.

 

“So um, Strange said that our fate was in the hands of two people, one bond, right?” Dr. Strange nodded, “and, you know, when I heard that I thought ‘can only be Natasha and Carol, these two are like the perfect relationship’, but he also said there were only two scenarios where we won, so I wonder what happened back there.”

 

“I guess I didn’t give up,” Carol replied, “Fighting Thanos was so hard, he was draining all my energy, it’s like something is sucking up your blood from the inside. I was so weak and tired but I heard Natasha's voice and I couldn't give up.”

 

“See, perfect relationship. So what was the other scenario?” Tony asked Strange and, before he could say some bullshit about not being able to talk about the future, Tony added, “Don’t say you can’t tell us because everything’s already happened.”

 

Strange rolled his eyes, “All right. Long story short. At the end of the fight, you, Carol, don’t manage to get up on time to stop Thanos from snapping, meaning half the population disappears, including me. Then, you all live on for about five years, deal with the effects of the snap until some guy named Ant Man show up and tell you he thinks he can make time travel possible. You go to Tony, you make it happen, but to get the Soul Stone someone has to sacrifice themselves and-”

 

“I do, don’t I?” Natasha asked before Strange could finish, “I go to this Vormir planet with Carol and I sacrifice myself, because Carol’s much more valuable to fight Thanos.”

 

“Yes. Glad that didn’t happen because seeing Carol so sad in all these scenarios was unbearable. And after that, Bruce uses the gauntlet that you made to snap everybody back, you fight a Thanos from the past that used Nebula from his future to see you, the fight goes crazy until all the people that you snapped back to life come to help. At some point Thanos has all the stones but you, Tony, steal them from him and snap him and all of his army out of existence. And that kills you.”

 

They were all stunned for a moment, imagining how all this could have gone, and then Tony spoke, “Wow! I’m actually so glad that you two are so in love. I swear I won’t ever joke about it, for real. Really glad that your love saved the world, and me.”

 

“It saved us all,” Natasha concluded and patted Tony’s shoulder as she and Carol walked out of the room.

 

After hearing how everything could have gone, how Natasha could have died, they needed some time for themselves, to enjoy what they had and acknowledge how lucky they were to still have each other.

Chapter 79: Partners forever

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Natasha and Carol spent the seven days that separated the end of the fight of Wakanda to their wedding in a complete bubble. It wasn’t totally their decision, they wanted to participate in the wedding planning but Yelena, Wanda and T’Challa took control of it. The couple could only give T’Challa their list of guests before being completely cut off the organisation of their wedding. They didn’t even get to pick their outfits, Yelena got Natasha a dress and Wanda found the perfect suit for Carol.

 

Two days before the big day, T’Challa came to their room to tell them it was happening. It felt surreal at first, to know that in 48 hours, they would get married, but it also made them so happy and cheerful.

 

The next day, their guests arrived. The first ones there were Pepper, Nick, Dr. Wittayer and Odé and Monica. More guests arrived later the same day, including the Barton family and Maria, who still had a few things to handle with the UN panel after what happened with Thanos.

 

When they were finally all there, Carol and Natasha got to go see the people who would be their maids of honour and best men. The choices were easy for them both, Natasha wanted her sister and Tony to be by her side and Carol asked Monica and Sam. All four of them were honoured and humbled to have this role, especially the men who didn’t think they would get this chance. As for the flower girl, it was very simple to choose, Lila Barton had always told Natasha that she would be her flower girl whenever she and Carol would get married.

 

The evening before the wedding, Yelena smartly baited Natasha to her room, promising her she would finally see her dress, and locked her in with her. Yelena was following Wanda’s order, who said it was tradition for the soon-to-be wives to not see each other for 24 hours before the wedding. Natasha wasn’t so mad about it, she would have liked to be in bed with Carol for their last night as girlfriends but she could survive not sleeping with her.

 

Before Yelena could take Natasha’s phone away from her, the redhead sent a text to her fiancée to tell her about the situation.

 

Yelena got me. I can’t leave her room so I’ll see you tomorrow, for our wedding. Can you believe it? We will be married same time tomorrow.

I love you so much, Carol. Have a great night.

 

Natasha didn’t get to read Carol’s reply, but she knew Carol expected it and was okay with it.

 

After hiding Natasha’s phone away, Yelena joined her sister in bed, "You know, I don't understand why you are doing this but it makes you happy so I'm happy too."

 

Natasha knew Yelena didn’t mean this in a bad way, unlike she had in the past. It just wasn’t her thing, to love people romantically; so Natasha tried to explain how she felt, "I'm doing this because I love her. I'm doing this because I never thought it could ever happen to me. Before meeting Carol I was just surviving, my past was still haunting me but she showed up and saw good things in me. She showed me that I deserve better, she saved me from my demons. Without Carol, we might have never met again, too. She helped me accept that life could be good. When I’m with her, I feel like everything make sense, like the shit that has happened in my past was for something. It led me to her. It gave me this wonderful woman who’s ready to do anything in her power to make me smile when I’m sad, who knows exactly what I need and when I need it. I'm marrying her because she is my everything."

 

“Okay, sounds nice.”

 

“It is when you find the right person. Like Carol and I, like Tony and Pepper.”

 

“Melina and Alexei.”

 

“Yeah. But sometimes you find your person in a friend, too. Carol used to have that with Monica’s mom, Maria.”

 

“I heard. I think I want that. A friend that I can trust. I don’t have much friends.”

 

“Well, you are an Avenger now, you have a bunch of people that can become your friend-”

 

Before Natasha could finish her sentence, a pillow landed in her face, “I’m not hearing you. Good night, sestra.

 


 

Carol woke up in her lonely bed, her future wife a few rooms away. When she turned the alarm off, Carol noted that she did not set up this alarm. Before she could look at the time on her phone, Wanda and Monica were in her room with everything they needed to get Carol ready for the wedding.

 

It was barely 8 AM, the wedding was starting at 11. Carol had planned to get up at 9, eat something and then get ready, but Wanda had other ideas.

 

“Breakfast is on its way for you and then we will proceed to make you the best looking bride of the world.”

 

“I’m pretty sure that’s not possible. Natasha will be the best looking bride ever.”

 

Wanda didn’t laugh, she was way too busy preparing her make-up equipment to hear any of Carol’s jokes. Meanwhile, Monica went to the bathroom and hung Carol’s suit on the towel rack. It was the first time Carol was seeing it, and she definitely loved it.

 

“Who picked it?” she asked as she took a closer look at the fabric.

 

“I remembered mom saying you would get married in a night blue suit and thought it had to happen. Sam helped a bit, said you wouldn’t like to be in a three piece suit and that you’d want a white shirt.”

 

“He was right. Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe in a three piece suit, has to be tailor-made.”

 

“We could have done that but Stark wanted to be the best looking person in a three piece suit so, we went for that instead.”

 

“Tony thinks I’d look better than him,” Carol laughed, “I love that, and I love it, can’t wait to put it on.”

 

Before Monica could say anything, Wanda shouted from the bedroom, “Breakfast’s there.”

 

The person bringing breakfast was Sam, already dressed for the wedding in a white suite and a night blue bow tie.

 

“Is there a theme that I don’t know about?” Carol asked.

 

“There is not, we just wanted to match your colour,” Sam replied, “wait until you see Monica’s dress.”

 

“Don’t tease, it’s not that good compared to Natasha’s.”

 

“Now you both stop teasing or I’ll have to go take a look at Natasha’s dress myself.”

 

“You will not do that,” Wanda instantly warned, her tone more than serious, “You stay there with them, eat breakfast, let Monica do your hair and make-up and get dressed. You have to be at the venue at 10.30 sharp. Now, I have to go see how Natasha is doing.”

 

Wanda was gone before Carol could speak. In a way, she liked that Wanda was invested in her wedding but Carol also knew that she was staying busy to not think about Vision. She couldn’t hold it against her though, Carol actually understood her very well.

 

Carol was not surprised to see that they made her a way too big breakfast. When Monica argued that she was usually someone who eat a lot, Carol replied that this was on the days she was not getting married. She was nervous and couldn’t relax in any way, she couldn’t help it. Sam told her it was normal to be nervous before such a big day. It was hers and Natasha’s day, they would be at the centre of everybody’s attention, being nervous was a normal response to that.

 

Carol still forced herself to eat a little, knowing that if she didn’t her belly would be hurting because she’d be hungry. When she was done, Sam left with what was left of the food and Monica began to do Carol’s hair.

 

For her hair, Carol knew she didn’t want it up, but she didn’t want it fully down either. At first, Monica was not very inspired and joked that Carol should go with a Mohawk. Carol would have loved to see Natasha’s face when she’d see her with that hairstyle, but she also didn’t want to look ridiculous.

 

After going through the different options she had, Monica found a leaves-shaped hair clip that would be prefect. After parting Carol’s hair in the middle, Monica pulled it back to let appear her ears. Then, she twisted two strands from each side of Carol’s head and wove them all over the hair-clip.

 

Make-up was easier, Carol didn’t want to wear much of it. Monica only hid what was left of a bruise on her cheekbone and put on a discreet lipstick.

 

Carol only had one thing left to be ready, putting her suit on, but it made her more nervous than she already was. So many thoughts were going through her head, what if she looks bad in the suit, what if Natasha didn’t like it, what if Natasha didnn’t want to marry her anymore. Alone in the bathroom, Carol took twenty minutes to get dressed when ten were more than enough, which Monica noticed and pointed out when Carol got out.

 

“She would be laughing at you, you know,” Monica said, talking about her mother and how she always mocked Carol’s unnecessary nervousness.

 

“I know, but I can’t help it.”

 

“Relax, Natasha isn’t going to run away. Who would run away from Carol Danvers?”

 

“Myself, I guess.”

 

“That’s what it’s always been about, huh? Superhero guilt.”

 

“Yeah. Still hard to accept that Natasha and I are about to retire and have a normal life.”

 

“Normal life isn’t so bad, trust me. Mom loved it, she was thriving even.”

 

“She always wanted a family more than a career, I didn’t. I wanted to feel useful, to help people, and that’s what I’ve been doing since I got my powers.”

 

“And you can still help. There’s many ways to help people. And I’m sure that Natasha would say you’re helping her everyday if she was there.”

 

“She definitely would,” Carol chuckled.

 

“You’re gonna do great in this new life, you’re gonna love it. Just don’t overthink it, let it happen.”

 

“Sounds like very good advice. Since when are you so wise?”

 

“Since I was 7,” Monica said and walked closer to Carol, “Come on, we’ve got to go. You’re wedding’s starting soon.”

 

Carol didn’t see the time pass, but Monica was right, they had to get to the palace. The guests were all there already, waiting for the best men, maids of honour and brides to walk in. T’Challa was already there, ready to officiate the wedding of his friends.

 

The crowd wasn’t so big, fourty people at best, but it was still enough to impress Carol. She was about to marry the woman she loved in front of all the people that mattered in her life.

 

The first two people that entered were Sam and Monica, as they were Carol’s Maid of honour and best man. As they did, Carol got the time to compliment Tony and Yelena on their outfits, that both had a reminder of the night blue colour, although they were mostly white. When Sam and Monica reached T’Challa, Tony and Yelena left Carol alone outside the palace’s council room, where the wedding took place.

 

As she waited and watched Yelena and Tony advancing, Carol wondered what she should do when it’d be her turn to go. It would feel a bit weird to get there on her own, but she didn’t have much of a father figure in her life unlike Natasha with Alexei.

 

It was almost Carol’s time to go when she heard light footsteps behind her, followed by a cough, “May I get you to the altar, Miss Danvers?” said Nick, dressed with a similar suit as Sam, but with a tie instead of a bow-tie, “Heard you wanted me to get you there, thought it was odd but I still accepted.”

 

Carol did request Nick to be the person by her side to walk to the altar. Even if he wasn’t a father figure, he still meant a lot to Carol and Natasha, too, “It makes sense, actually. You called me back to Earth seven years ago, I met Natasha thanks to you. Without you I might have never found the love of my life.”

 

“All right, okay, stop flattering me or I might cry,” Fury replied and offered his arm to Carol.

 

As Carol’s and Nick’s first step in the council room, all the guests stood up and looked back. They were all in awe of Carol’s outfit and smiled at her when she met their gazes. On the front row were seated Bucky, Wanda, Pietro and Maria, and there was a space left for Nick. On Natasha’s side, there was Melina, an empty seat that Alexei would fill, and the Barton family minus Lila.

 

When she reached the altar, Carol hugged Nick and then T’Challa before looking nervously at the door on the other side of the room. In a few minutes, Carol would finally see Natasha in her dress, and would probably let go of all the stress and cry.

 

But first, Lila was stepping in as the flower girl. She was wearing a white blouse and night blue skirt, and there Carol realised that all the guests were wearing one of these colours or both.

 

Lila walked down the aisle and sat beside her mom after hugging Carol, and then it was time for Natasha to step in. Carol took a deep breath and released a sharp one as she heard the heavy door being pushed by Alexei.

 

At first Carol could only see a silhouette in the dark of the anteroom, but when Natasha stepped into the light, her breath was taken away. Natasha was in a long strapless white bustier dress. She had a train that started from the top of the dress and covered her upper arms. As Natasha approached, Carol got to see more of the embroidery that decorated the scoop-neck of the dress.

 

Her hair was up in a loose bun, which Carol loved, with a few free strands that nicely fell on each side of Natasha’s face. Carol was so glad Natasha didn’t cut her blond hair after her red hair grew out, the mix of red and blond looked so good on her, better than Natasha realised. When Natasha finally arrived at the altar, Carol saw the blue gemstone on her necklace and smiled.

 

Natasha stood before Carol, her smile not going away even when she noticed tears on Carol’s cheeks. Carol herself had not noticed she was crying until Natasha used her thumbs to wipe them away.

 

They exchanged a few complimenting words as T’Challa invited the guests to sit down. Then, the ceremony began.

 

“My dear friends, it is my honour to have you all here in Wakanda, gathered to celebrate the union of Natasha and Carol. It with pride that I have accepted to be the person to marry these two extraordinary women, these two selfless heroes.

I have had the chance to witness their great love and passion, their partnership, in the last couple of years, and it has inspired me as a person to become better. Natasha and Carol are an example of what love is. They have faced the most difficult obstacles together and it only made their love greater and their bond stronger.

Today, I am honoured to be here, with you my friends, to be the witness of this promise that Natasha and Carol are making, to be partners forever.

I shall now ask the brides for their vows. If you may begin, Carol.”

 

Carol had thoughts of her vows but didn’t plan a speech. She wanted to let her heart speak, and it was so easy to do so when she was looking into Natasha’s emerald green eyes, “My whole life has been about others, saving them mostly. But today I choose to make my life about you, Natasha. Everything I want is to be with you, enjoy each second of the moments we share and thankfully, make you happy.

It's all I want, your happiness, because you more than anybody else deserves it. You are the most caring person I know, you so genuinely care about everybody's well being that sometimes you forget about your own. Today, I vow to be the person that will remind you that you too deserve happiness, you too deserve to have someone that will take care of you.

Sometimes I wake up during the night, I see you and realise how lucky I am to be by your side and to be loved by you. It is what I cherish the most, the love you give me, I know it's rare and I'll never waste it.

You are my love, my soul mate, my other half. You are my baby, my everything, my Natasha.”

 

Carol and Natasha both looked at T’Challa, who invited Natasha to go on with a nod.

 

“Carol, I don't know what to say other than I love you. I love everything about you, your confidence, your strength, your vulnerable side, your humour, your mind, all of it.

I love you with every fibre of my being. It used to scare me, but not anymore. This kind of feelings used to terrify me because it meant that I had a weakness but today I know that everything you bring to me is good, it gives me strength, and loving you is my biggest one.

You showed me that I deserved to be happy, you taught me how to do it, and you've spend every day since the first time we've met making sure I was. I'm so grateful to have you, so grateful that you want to take care of me, even when I'm being awful to you.

Without you I would be lost, I would still be someone I never wished to become, someone I was forced to become, but you showed me the way. You showed me I could be more than that, I could dream of better than that.

Today, I vow to be your person for the rest of our lives, like you’ve been mine for more than four years now. I vow to support you whatever happens, I promise to hear you and understand you no matter what.

I love you, my Carol, my soul mate, the love of my life.”

 

Carol could see from where she was standing that Yelena, Melina and Laura were crying; and she assumed Monica and Wanda were, too. What surprised here was too see Tony seemingly wiping his eyes as well, but when he saw that she saw him, he pretended that nothing happened.

 

“Now, do you, Natasha, take Carol as your wedded wife and promise to love her, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, in this life and the next?”

 

Natasha smiled so hard that a tear fell down her eye, “I do.”

 

“Do you, Carol, take Natasha as your wedded wife and promise to love her, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, in this life and the next?”

 

Carol’s left hand slid up Natasha’s forearm to pull her closer, “I do.”

 

Right after Carol’s word, Sam and Tony walked beside the brides to hand them their wedding bands. Tony gave Natasha’s to Carol and Sam give Carol’s to Natasha, before they stepped away.

 

“Carol, please repeat after-”

 

But before T’Challa could finish, Carol spoke as she put the ring on Natasha’s finger, “I give you this ring as a reminder that we face this world together. We’re a team. This ring is a symbol of our unbreakable bond. It is a reminder of my eternal faith and unwavering dedication to you. I will cherish you forever more.”

 

Natasha grinned and repeated every single word Carol said as she put the ring on her finger.

 

T’Challa was amused that he was bested by the brides, it was a very them thing to do and he loved it, “By the powers vested in me as King of Wakanda, I now declare you wife and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

 

Carol had never been faster to pull Natasha by the waist than that day. Despite the speed, they pressed their lips softly together and shared the kissed that sealed their union as all the guests got up and cheered. Natasha couldn’t stop smiling, tears of happiness were running down her cheeks but Carol wiped them away when they parted.

 

The newly married couple was a bit lost after they kissed, they didn’t organise any second of their wedding so they didn’t know what to do or where to go. Thankfully, Monica and Yelena knew and led the way.

 

They went to the ballroom, where a long table was set. Natasha knew that was Wanda’s idea, she loved to eat at the tables of the Avengers compound, where all the team fitted at one table and everybody was included. There were no designated seats so Natasha and Carol sat first, face to face in the middle of the table, and the guests where they wanted.

 

Tony told Laura and the kids to sit beside Natasha while he sat a bit further with Pepper, Rhodey and Happy. Natasha was glad to have the Bartons close, they were her family, too, and she didn’t get to see them much since they arrived to Wakanda. Cooper and Lila were sitting beside Carol, and on her other side were Monica and Sam, who kept chatting and giggling.

 

The entrée was quickly served and, when everybody was done with it, Tony stood up and tapped on his flute with his knife.

 

“If I may, please, have everybody’s attention. Thank you. So, I heard it was tradition to make a speech as best man and since there’s two of us, I hope that you’re ready for it Sam ‘cause you’re next.

I thought a lot about this speech and, you know, I could just say some cliché stuff and go on with my day but I have too much respect for them to do that. These two, well, they are annoying, not gonna lie. They are the perfect couple, and when you find yourself struggling in your own relationship you might see them and envy them. Yes, I’ve been in that situation and for a while I couldn’t stop being jealous, until I realised I should learn from them.

It’s crazy how not perfect they are when you pay better attention,” Tony said and the guests laughed, “No, actually, it’s not that they’re not perfect, it’s just that they’ve faced a lot of trouble, but they faced it as a team and that made them stronger. Talking with Natasha helped me a lot in my own relationship. I think I’m a more decent partner thanks to her, thanks to her kindness and patience. She taught me how to communicate and express my feelings better than my therapist did, sorry doc.

In the end, I realised that I should admire them and learn from them, instead of being jealous, because they have a lot to share and they happily do it. They just make people the best version of themselves, I guess.”

 

The guests clap before Sam took the floor, “I’m not prepared at all but it’s easy to find nice things to say about these two so, here I go. Carol is fearless, for real, like she is the kind of person that will give you so much confidence just by the way she is that you will forget that you were scared in the first place. She is the kind of person that pushes you to be the best version of yourself because she knows you can do it, and she’s there when you struggle and always helps you back up. It’s like you cannot fail when she’s around you.

And Natasha is the most supportive and caring person I’ve ever met. Even when she’s not okay she’ll always come and make sure that you are okay and she’ll do anything in her power to make you feel better.

Together they make the perfect team, for each other and for their friends. They’ve helped so many of us becoming what we could be, they’ve led a team and made it a family, our family, and I’m really grateful for everything they’ve done for all of us.

Today, we get the chance to celebrate them, their union that has helped so many of us. Thank you for being the team that you are, you’ve made an even bigger one that couldn’t survive without you.”

 

Tony got on his feet again and raised his glass, “To Natasha and Carol.”

 

And all the guests mirrored him.

 

If for the rest of the lunch the atmosphere was calm, it quickly went back to crazy when music started playing in the palace. It wasn’t a usual Wakandan wedding, Wanda had asked T’Challa if it was okay for them to celebrate Natasha’s and Carol’s union with a party and he was more than happy to say yes.

 

Of course, the first dance was a slow, for the brides first and the other couples eventually joined. Carol and Natasha were surprised to see Maria Hill and Dr. Wittayer make an appearance on the dance floor, but after a quick thinking, they could see how these two got closer. They were also glad that Pietro took his sister to dance and that she seemed okay. Laura danced with her son Cooper and Lila with little Nate.

 

The dancing went on for hours, the guests were having the time of their lives. So much so that they didn’t notice the absence of the main couple, who sneaked out of the palace to have some time for themselves. They came back though, they showed up for dinner and danced more in the evening, enjoyed having all their friends around. Carol had a word with Maria and Natasha with her therapist, to tell them they were happy for them and wished them the best.

 

As the night went on, the guests began to go back to their room and, in the late hours of the night, it was only Natasha and Carol that remained in the palace, living every single minute of their first night as wives alone on the dance floor.

Notes:

you can find the dress and hairstyle that i described as Natasha's wedding outfit here (on the last slide): https://www.instagram.com/p/CVgsg4HpN7b/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
and Carol's hairstyle is this: https://www1.pictures.stylebistro.com/mp/SGXFSmZ4Lxil.jpg

Chapter 80: Big decisions

Chapter Text

Time after their wedding went so fast that Natasha and Carol didn’t realised they had been married for a whole month. They spent most of their time in Wakanda, except for their honeymoon that they spent in Peru. They both wanted to visit the country, especially the Michu Picchu.

 

During this month, they didn’t listen to the news at all, didn’t hear the praise, the thank-yous and all the messages from the people of Earth. Beside the official statement from Maria at the UN panel, many of the Avengers spoke to the press about the fight with Thanos, they gave their point of view. Tony explained what happened in Thanos’ ship and on Titan. Sam as well as Pietro and Bruce told their side of the story in Wakanda.

 

Sam was called Captain America for the first time after a few images from the fight came out on the internet and also showed Bucky and Yelena. The fact that Yelena, Bucky and Natasha participated in the fight was made public by the Avengers’ official statement, but the fact that the public saw them fighting pushed the UN and Ross to accept to pardon the last two, and Yelena was called an Avenger on national television, which she didn’t like much.

 

Natasha had completely forgotten that she was a fugitive since she and Carol were married, it was the least of her worries, but it was still good to know that she could live normally again. The most important for her was that she would finally be able to start the process of creating an orphanage.

 

Carol and Natasha decided to stay in Wakanda for a while, because they weren’t ready to face the press yet, whether it was about Thanos or their wedding. The information wasn’t out but they knew that some people were very observant and would see their rings – that they didn’t plan to take off for any reason, even if it meant keeping their relationship a secret. After hiding for almost two years, they were done with all that and just wanted to live their lives, without caring about what other people could say about them.

 

They spent most of their time in Wakanda together and with Bucky, who choose to stay there even after he had been pardoned. He was the only one of their friends left, the others left right after the wedding, some stayed for a couple more days, the Avengers left after a week to go back to the compound, and Yelena stayed until the couple went on their honeymoon.

 

As usual, the couple was loving life in Wakanda but they also knew that it was not where they would spend the rest of their days. The last thing they had to do in Wakanda before going back to the US was to make Natasha Kree, and this process took a couple of weeks.

 

Shuri was very excited the first time Natasha and Carol came to her about it, but when she explained how it would happen, it was Carol that wasn’t so excited about it anymore. Shuri told her it was a risky procedure, it had never been done before on Earth and could fail, but she couldn't tell what were the possible outcomes of a failure.

 

Natasha was very reassuring, her confidence in Shuri and herself helped Carol to relax. During the last blood tests, Natasha was on her phone, laughing as she was sending to Yelena every single article she was finding with her name and “Avenger” in the same sentence. Carol was impressed by how calm Natasha was and it made her love her and admire her more.

 

When the day of the bone marrow transplant finally came, the couple didn’t get to see each other much. Carol was going first, of course, and while she would be in the recovery room, Shuri would be working on her bone marrow to make sure it would be compatible with Natasha before transplanting it. Those were the three steps, quite simple in theory, but it was still a first on Earth so anything could happen.

 

Natasha walked Carol to the operating room in the morning, where Shuri as well as doctors were waiting for her, “Everything’s gonna be all right, yeah? You rest as much as possible when Shuri’s done with you, she said I could be out for a few days so no need to be sleeping at my bedside.”

 

“You know I’ll be sleeping at you bedside whatever you tell me.”

 

Natasha giggled, “Yes, I know, and I’ll be expecting you there with me when I wake up.”

 

“My eyes won’t leave you for one minute.”

 

After a smile, Natasha kissed Carol forehead and then her lips, “I love you. See you soon.”

 

“I love you, too,” Carol replied and Natasha left the room.

 

After that, it was all blurry in Carol’s mind. She remembered Shuri talking to her but couldn't tell what she said. Then, there was a mask on her face and she felt sleepy. She tried to resist but fell asleep within seconds.

 

When she woke up, hours later, it was almost dark outside. It was the beginning of summer, which meant it was around 10 PM. Carol struggled to open her eyes and, when she did, she saw Bucky sitting beside her, with a phone in his hands.

 

“Those things are really practical,” he told her, “Sam, Tony and Yelena have been asking how you were so I sent them pictures,” he added and showed Carol three pictures that he took of her.

 

“Not very flattering,” Carol noted.

 

“You just look tired, which is normal according to Shuri.”

 

“What about Natasha?”

 

Bucky tossed his phone away, “T’Challa came here half an hour ago, saying everything was going well on their side. Shuri’s tests went well and she almost done with Nat.”

 

“Will they bring her here?”

 

“Not for the first night,” T’Challa answered before Bucky could, “My sister wants to be very careful with the both of you so, for tonight, she will stay in isolation. Meanwhile, you can got some rest, like Natasha told you to.”

 

T’Challa was right and Carol couldn’t argue with that. She felt also quite tired, and would feel that way for a few more hours, so resting sounded like a good idea. But, on the other hand, she wanted to see Natasha before going back to sleep, even if it meant fighting with herself to stay awake. She shared her desire with Bucky who agreed to help her stay awake until Natasha would be brought to the room next to hers.

 

Luckily for Carol, she didn’t have to wait for long. Fifteen minutes after she woke up, Shuri and her team got out of the OR with Natasha. Carol only got to see her profile for a couple seconds, but she could tell from Shuri’s face that she was confident, so things must have gone well. Shuri came to Carol’s room to confirm that and it was all she needed to fall peacefully asleep for the night.

 

Carol was awakened twelve hours later by the sunlight. This time, T’Challa was sitting in the room, with a book that he was quick to close after he saw Carol was awake.

 

“Good news, Natasha is all right and you should be able to see her very soon.”

 

Carol was thankful that T’Challa knew her so well, the only thing that matter to her was Natasha and he just provided when she needed to relax.

 

“How soon?” were the first words she managed to speak.

 

“Whenever you feel ready. Thought you might want to dress.”

 

Beside Carol’s bed were some of her clothes, the comfy ones that she used during winter or during the days she didn’t want to get out of her room. Unlike the day before, Carol didn’t feel light-headed and she could get out of bed on her own. In the bathroom, Carol felt completely fine, no dizziness or clumsy motions, she got dressed without struggles. Carol concluded that her body had totally healed in less than a day and created new bone marrow.

 

She knew it would not go that way for Natasha though. Her body had to “process” the change, her cells had to adapt to this new blood, this new DNA that they now both shared. Natasha would be asleep for a few days at least, Carol knew that and she had to get ready to spend long hours by her side, with nothing else but hope that she’d wake up soon to keep her company.

 

Finally, Carol exited the bathroom and didn’t even waited for T’Challa to invite her to go see Natasha. To Carol’s surprised, she wasn’t linked to dozens of beeping machines. There was only one tracking her vital signs and an IV that gave her the nutrients she needed while she was asleep. Natasha didn’t look tired, she looked quite healthy and peaceful, like she usually did when she was sleeping. Except that Carol couldn’t wake her up with kisses on her neck, that wouldn’t work because her body was still working while she was asleep and, as long as it wasn’t done, Natasha wouldn’t wake.

 

Carol’s first instinct when she sat down beside Natasha’s bed was to take her hand. She brought it to her mouth and pressed a longing kiss on its back, “As I promised, I’m here,” Carol whispered, not letting go of her wife’s hand.

 

And every morning when Carol arrived in Natasha’s room, she took her hand and kissed it. She was forced every night to go get some hours of sleep, mostly by Shuri. She was only leaving for a few hours, from midnight to six or seven, and was there when the doctors were doing their daily checks.

 

She did this for five days, and on the morning of the sixth day, only a few minutes after she arrived, Carol felt Natasha squeezing her hand. At first, she thought it was just a spasm, but when she felt another stronger squeeze, she knew Natasha had finally awakened.

 

“Hey there, little baby,” Carol whispered as she sat on the side of Natasha’s bed and ran her hand through her hair, “how are you feeling?” she asked and kissed Natasha’s forehead, aware that she might not get an answer.

 

The only thing Natasha could do was letting out a light groan and lean into Carol’s touch as her hand went from her hair to her cheek.

 

“Should I get Shuri now or do you want more time?” Carol asked and watched Natasha shaking her head first, and then nodding, “No, don’t get Shuri and yes, you want more time?” Natasha nodded again, “Okay, baby. I’ve got you.”

 

Carol laid down on her side, leaning on her elbow, and continued stroking her thumb on Natasha’s cheek. Then, she ran the tips on her fingers on her jaw, up to her eyebrows and down again on the bridge of her nose and lips.

 

It helped Natasha feeling her body again, “More,” she asked, the touch awakening her senses.

 

Carol kept going, slowly, carefully, as Natasha enjoyed the tickling on her forearms and neck. Carol loved that too but she also didn’t feel close enough and switched to kisses after a few minutes. It was a different feeling for Natasha but it still had a positive affect on her body, that reacted to the touches more and more.

 

Of course, Carol was playing with Natasha a bit, avoiding her lips every time she got close to them. She wanted to try and see what Natasha could already do and she was surprised when she felt Natasha’s hand on her back.

 

“Kiss me,” she muttered and, for the first since she woke up, opened her eyes.

 

Carol could not resist these green eyes, especially when Natasha was taking advantage of her tired looking face to be adorable.

 

After she kissed Natasha, Carol couldn’t stop wondering, “Does it feel different? Do I feel different?”

 

Natasha smiled, “You still feel very much the same.”

 

Carol kissed her again and murmured, “Good.”

 

Carol was done playing and Natasha had been simulated enough for the moment. Carol cuddled up with Natasha, her face tucked in the crook of her neck, and they rested for some time.

 

In the end, Carol didn’t have to go get Shuri, she came by herself after about an hour.

 

“Sorry to interrupt. I’ve noticed you were awake and wanted to give you some time but I need to do some testing.”

 

“I was going to come get you… eventually,” Carol told her as she sat back on the chair beside Natasha, “What kind of tests?”

 

“For now I just need a blood sample. We’ll do motion tests later to see how your brain is adapting to the new blood.”

 

“At least I can speak, must be a good sign.”

 

“It is a really good sign, yes. I was worried you would struggle to talk but no, you’re already very talkative.”

 

For the first time, Natasha saw her new blue blood being drawn from her veins. Seeing it made it feel more real, it meant the surgery happened and worked, it meant Natasha was half Kree and would live longer than a normal human.

 

Thinking of that made Natasha very emotional. Living her life with Carol was all she wanted and the fact that they would grow old together like normal people – even if it’d be slower – was something she never thought she’d have. Natasha managed to control her emotions and didn’t cry while Shuri was there, but a tear rolled down her cheek when she left.

 

She quickly wiped it away but Carol still saw it, “Everything okay, baby?”

 

“Yeah,” Natasha exhaled, “Just happy it worked.”

 

Carol knew what it was really about, and she was quite happy herself, “Soon, we can finally get that house we talked about.”

 

“With the garden and the tree.”

 

“Yep! And a balcony just for us.”

 

“Oh God, I would love to be on a balcony right now and feel the sun on my skin.”

 

“I’m sure we can arrange that when Shuri will be done with her tests.”

 

The tests came later in the day. They were made to check Natasha’s motor functions, reflexes and strength. The results were all very satisfying for Shuri, of course Natasha could not run a marathon yet but she had no problem doing her daily routine or reacting by instinct to an uncanny situation.

 

Knowing that the couple would want that, Shuri allowed them to sleep in their room, although Natasha had to keep the monitor during the night. She got her first meal at dinner, didn’t eat much but it was normal according to Shuri. Carol felt extremely relieved when she and Natasha went to bed. After a week of sleeping alone, afraid that something might have gone wrong during the surgery, she was glad to have a healthy wife beside her when she fell asleep.

 

Shuri asked the couple to stay for at least a month so she could have regular checkups with Natasha. After an appointment every three days for a month, Shuri asked Natasha and Carol to meet them at her lab. They were a bit worried because of her tone, Carol started to think that maybe the transplant didn’t work anymore or that it wasn’t slowing the ageing of Natasha’s cells, but it was nothing of the sort.

 

“I just want to start by saying that everything is fine with you, Nat. All the results of your blood tests look good. We’ll keep testing you every month but that can be done from the US, I know you want to go back to see your friends.”

 

“What is it about then?” Natasha asked.

 

“I have done some tests on Carol, after your fight with Thanos and how you said it drained your powers. I wanted to make sure it was just temporary.”

 

“Is it?”

 

“All the tests I did came back normal, similar to your past results.”

 

“But?”

 

“It seems that you are slightly more powerful than you were before.”

 

Carol frowned, “What? How is that possible? I genuinely thought I was dying.”

 

“I know, but it looks like not only you absorbed the powers back from the stone, but you also drained some power from it as well.”

 

“That’s something that I can do? Just drain power on purpose.”

 

“Apparently. Maybe not on purpose though. I assume that the circumstances made it easier for you to do it, but you did drain power from a source instead of what you can usually do, absorb what’s coming to you.”

 

“So, we are both fine?”

 

“You very much are.”

 

They celebrated this news with a nice dinner made by T’Challa and Carol at Bucky’s house. It was also the moment for the couple to tell their friends that they would be leaving Wakanda. They were all happy for them and for the future that was ahead of them. Bucky was a bit sad though, he really enjoyed having Carol and Natasha in Wakanda with him, they weren’t as busy as Shuri, T’Challa and Okoye and hung out with him a lot. Natasha told him that he would always be welcomed in the Avengers compound and eventually their house when they’d get it.

 

A few days later, Carol and Natasha had packed all the belongings they had brought to Wakanda over their stays there and were ready to leave. Sam was the one piloting the Quinjet to pick them up. T’Challa offered him to stay for lunch but he was oddly reluctant. Natasha and Carol didn’t mind leaving already, leaving meant starting a new chapter of their lives and they were very excited about that.

 

But during the whole flight, Sam looked nervous, like something was wrong and he couldn’t tell them. Carol tried to take the pilot seat but Sam didn’t let her, he piloted the whole way and led them to Maria’s office.

 

Yelena was there – which was surprising – and so were Tony, Wanda and Bruce.

 

“Technically, they don’t exist. So, no, we can’t send the team after them,” Tony was saying loudly.

 

“Are you not hearing me? These women have been controlled their whole lives. They deserve to be freed. And they exist!” Yelena shouted back.

 

“Wow, wow! Stop!” Carol intervened, “What the fuck is going on here?”

 

Maria stepped forward, “Yelena asked the Avengers’ help to find other widows and free them. Tony and Bruce don’t think we should get involved because it would unveil the existence of the Red Room to the world. Meanwhile Wanda said she would do it.”

 

“What do you think, Maria?”

 

“I think that they were trained to be spies so they can be discreet enough to not been seen anywhere.”

 

“Thank you, Maria!” Yelena exclaimed and looked insistently at Tony.

 

Why are you even asking my opinion? It seems it doesn’t matter so just go for it.”

 

“Oh lord, how are you guys going to survive when we retire,” Natasha commented.

 

Okay, enough! Yelena, you go make a team of three people that’ll go with you, prepare them, tell them all you know on the widows that are left. Take all the time you need.”

 

“What about the antidote? I won’t have enough for them all.”

 

“I’ll do it,” Bruce said, “If we are doing this, I can do the science.”

 

“Thank you, Bruce. All good now?” Nobody seemed to have more to say so they all left the office, expect Natasha and Carol, “I have something for you guys.”

 

“Something?”

 

“Yeah, I think you’ll like it. Now that you’re back, and that a lot of people will quickly notice it, I’ve got you an interview with Trish Walker for her radio show. Shouldn’t be long, I know you don’t want to spend hours talking about yourself but people are still waiting for your point of view of the battle, especially since they know that Carol almost died.”

 

“Thanks for the reminder,” Natasha muttered, “We’ll do it. When is it?”

 

“A couple hours.”

 

Carol scoffed, “Good to be back, isn’t it?”

 

“Don’t be so ungrateful. I’ve also been working on your project, Nat. Should be easier than expected.”

 

That information made Natasha smile, but she was still not so happy to have an interview so soon. They were glad it was with Trish Walker, though. She was the only journalist that they knew wasn’t an asshole.

 

A car arrived to get them to the studio before they could unpack their luggage. Because of traffic, it took them an hour to get there and they only had a few minutes to chat with Trish Walker before the show began. She told them they would be there for two parts of her show and could leave after. She also told them what questions she might ask so they could be prepared.

 

As they sat in front of their mics and put on their headphones, Carol took Natasha’s hand by reflex, and let go of it when Trish Walker’s assistant stared at them.

 

“We are here with extraordinary guests today. Natasha Romanoff, known as the Black Widow, and Carol Danvers that you know as Captain Marvel, the leader of the Avengers. First of all, I need to ask. What should I call you?”

 

“Our names are fine,” Natasha replied.

 

“Alright then. Carol, Natasha, thank you for being here at the Trish talk. Our listeners have been waiting for news from you since it all happened. My first question is very simple now; where have the two of you been since the battle?”

 

Carol and Natasha shared a gaze, Carol spoke first, “Wakanda, mostly.”

 

“And Peru for a week,” Natasha added.

 

They knew that, by saying that, Trish Walker would be curious. They already saw that she noticed their rings and she was smart enough to put two and two together and figure out that Peru was where they went for their honeymoon.

 

“Peru, interesting. Does it have anything to do with the matching rings that you are wearing on your left hands?”

 

Carol and Natasha liked that she was so straight forward, no trick to try and get them to say something they didn’t want to say, she just asked. They were too good at interrogating themselves to fall for that kind of tricks anyway, and they knew what they wanted and didn’t want to talk about.

 

“It does, yes,” Natasha said, “We got married a couple months ago, a few days after the battle, and we aren’t planning on hiding it.”

 

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, you’ve heard it first here! Natasha Romanoff and Carol Danvers, aka the Black Widow and Captain Marvel, are married! Congratulation to you both. It must have been quite the party with all your fellow Avengers.”

 

Carol chuckled, “It was, yeah. Having all the people we love around us after what happened was a real breathe of fresh air.”

 

“Especially for you, Carol. I heard the battle was very hard on you.”

 

“You could say that, yes. Let’s just say that I was quite close to dying, but the woman on my left gave me the strength to survive and beat this monster.”

 

“So love saved you.”

 

“You can say that Love saved me and also half of the universe’s population.”

 

“And we are very grateful for that. But, for you Natasha, how was that part of the fight?”

 

“It was the most traumatic experience of my life. I was stuck under some rocks that Thanos created, I couldn’t move, couldn’t get out. The only thing I could do was watching Carol fighting him and, because of the Space stone, the one that gave Carol her powers, she couldn’t win. I watched her fighting with all the strength she had, I watch her stall as much time as she could so that Wanda could destroy the stone in Vision’s head and I watched her collapse on the ground. I thought she was already dead when she fell, it was awful. I never felt so helpless in my entire life. I didn’t know what to do except screaming, begging her to fight, and I guess it worked.”

 

Carol watched Natasha talking and realised that she had not checked on her since that happened, yet she could tell because of her tone that she was still very affected by it. Natasha was also close to crying and Carol knew there was no way to prevent it, she needed to let it out.

 

With a simple look, Carol asked Trish Walker if they could go on a break and she pulled Natasha to the side.

 

“Come here, baby,” she whispered and pulled Natasha in her arms, “I’m sorry I scared you that much.”

 

“It’s not you, it’s him, and he got when he deserved.”

 

The break couldn't last very long, they only had two or three minutes for themselves. After a minute, Trish got up and walked in their direction, coughing as she approached them.

 

“Was it too much?” she asked, looking concerned, “We can talk about other stuff if you want.”

 

“No, it’s all right,” Natasha assured, “We came here to tell our side of the story, your questions are perfect for that. It’s just still a lot, you know.”

 

“Okay. In the next part you will get questions from our listeners but we made sure they were good questions.”

 

They both nodded and went back to their seats, but this time they held each other’s hand at the table and didn’t let go.

 

The first question was for Natasha. The person asked how she felt since she had been pardoned, “My answer might surprise you but for now I don’t feel very different. I guess you can explain that by the fact that I got married and lived in a bubble since it happened but I am really grateful that this decision has been taken because I have ideas for the future and I couldn't work on them as a fugitive.”

 

The next question was well chosen because it was about the future, the listener asked Carol and Natasha how much time off they were taking before going back to work. It was the perfect opportunity for them to announce their upcoming retirement, “Well, we won’t be taking any time off per se because we won’t go back to work.”

 

“To be clear, Natasha is retiring already and I am going to step down from my role as a leader of the Avengers. If I’m needed, if a threat like the ones we’ve faced in the recent years shows up, I will come and help, but our plan is to eventually both retire and live a peaceful life.”

 

Trish Walker was surely as shocked as her listeners but she kept the interview going thanks to her professionalism, “If you are not Avengers, what are you going to do? Any ideas yet?”

 

“We have ideas, yes. I’m working on something with Pepper Potts and Maria Hill as we speak. We are going to have a new activity, we are just not superheroes anymore.”

 

“What about all the people that are inspired by you, that admire you.”

 

“We are very grateful for all the people that have supported us over the years, it’s always meant a lot for us. I think they might still admire us when our new project will come out. And, if they are disappointed that we are not superheroes anymore, they can still support our friends and colleagues, that are amazing and that will do anything to protect the planet, just like we’ve done.”

 

The last question from a listener was even better now that they announced their retirement. They asked were they saw themselves in ten years.

 

“I hope my project will be out there, and I hope we’ll have kids.”

 

“And I see myself supporting Natasha in her project, and definitely with kids.”

 

“That was our exclusive interview with Natasha Romanoff and Carol Danvers for the Trish Talk. Thank you so much for being here and talking to me.”

 

Carol and Natasha left the table and used the break to thank Trish Walker for the opportunity. The car that took them drove them back to the compound where they finally unpacked and settled back in, although they weren’t active Avengers anymore.

Chapter 81: Tattoos

Chapter Text

Living in the compound but not being an Avenger was harder than Natasha and Carol thought. It was really hard for them to not get involved when a problem showed up, especially for Carol. A couple times, she led missions from afar, since the Avengers were still looking for a new active leader that would replace her. It was a bit easier for Natasha, she had her orphanage project to work on, so she was busy most days, but she did miss avenging some times.

 

It had only been four months since she’s been pardoned and so able to work on this project officially but it was advancing quite well. Like she discussed with Carol and Yelena a while ago, this orphanage wouldn’t be an Avengers project but a Natasha project. It still helped a lot to have friends in the Avengers but only a couple of them would get involved. She was working with Maria and Pepper because of all the connections they had and Stark Industries would be the main source of funding of the project.

 

Tony loved the idea and wanted to get involved in whatever role Natasha would like him to have. Since communication wasn’t her favourite thing to do and Tony, on the contrary, loved that, she named him ambassador. The three women were already interviewing people for different roles in the organisation, accountant, social workers, while Pepper was looking for a place to build the orphanage in the lands that Stark Industries owned. The hardest part was getting the government’s authorisations to open this organisation, that was what took most of Natasha's and Maria’s time.

 

They had dozens documents to fill and send to different people, where they explained the project, the goals, the funding. And when that was done, they had to wait. That was when Natasha understood Carol better, when, after four months of work on her project, she could only wait and see if it’d be approved or not.

 

During those days, the couple was trying to find a new routine, similar to the one they had when they were working but with more activities outside. They were walking Liho everyday – now that Yelena accepted to bring her back to her owners – were working out and going to the city most days. Natasha discovered that she had more stamina now that she was half Kree, which was great when sparring and in the bedroom as well.

 

When they had no motivation to go to New York, they would stay in their room and do nothing.

 

One day, Carol had the brilliant idea to go through the stuff they had when they were living in the trailer in Norway. They had notepads that they used some times to write stuff down, draw each other with their non existent drawing skills or play games. Carol remembered that they wrote things that they would do if they were free, and she was sure they had not crossed anything off that list yet.

 

The first thing on the list was written by Natasha, and they both remembered very well why she wrote that down. Spending so much time in a jacuzzi that my whole body is wrinkled. She was really cold that day, it was during autumn and it was raining all day long, she needed a very hot bath and couldn’t get it.

 

Most of the things on the list were doable – although not very exciting – until they reached the end of it: Getting a tattoo.

 

It was Natasha's hand writing again. It was underlined twice.

 

“Oh, my God, that’s what we are going to do!” Natasha exclaimed when she read it, “I have a couple ideas already.”

 

Before Carol could agree, Natasha was looking for tattoo artists in New York. She found a woman who made drawings that she liked and instantly called to get an appointment. Two days later, Natasha was at the artist’s studio with Carol and Yelena – who happened to visit that day – to get her first ever tattoo.

 

The tattoo artist was in a wheelchair, so her studio was adapted to her situation. Natasha was very impressed by how she managed to make it easy for herself in a world that’s not simple for disabled people. Seeing this made her think about her project and how the orphanage would have to be adapted to welcome disabled kids, she would speak with Maria about it.

 

For her first tattoo, Natasha was getting a big one. She wanted to honour her mother and asked the artist to make a branch of pink blossom. The tattoo would start from her spine, around her first thoracic vertebrae, and would go up to cover her shoulder blade, shoulder and the upper part of her biceps on her left arm.

 

While the artist was tattooing, Carol and Yelena were looking at some art on the walls, both loving her style. The more Carol saw, the more she wanted to get a tattoo herself but she didn’t know what yet.

 

Yelena kept questioning Natasha, wondering if she would get more tattoos, maybe one representing her or Melina and Alexei. Natasha had not planned anything about her found family yet, she only wanted this pink blossom for her mother and something for her father.

 

The tattoo was almost done when Carol decided that she wanted a tattoo as well, something that would represent Natasha, but the redhead warned her, “Don’t get my name tattooed, I read that it’s bad luck.”

 

“It is, most of the time,” the tattoo artist agreed.

 

“Okay, what about we get a matching tattoo, or the same tattoo?”

 

“We can do that. We just need to find something that’ll look nice.”

 

And just like that, Carol spent a week looking for the perfect tattoo for Natasha and herself. They had a few options, like each having half of a heart on the side of their arm that would make a whole one together, or halves of an avocado, one with the pit the other without it. But, in the end, they chose to have the date of their wedding tattooed on their left wrists.

 

They got it tattooed in Roman numeral – V III MMXVIII. Since it was longer than what they expected, they got it tattooed along the inside of their forearms, so that they could see it often. Natasha also got a capital “i” beside her pink blossom to honour her father Ivan.

 

Natasha already loved her tattoos and wanted more of them. Her next would probably be Liho’s eyes or something related to this cat that she loved so much, but for the moment she was taking a break so that she and Carol could think about other things.

 

Finally getting their own place was their next project. They looked on the internet for houses close to New York but most of them were way too expensive for the couple. The ones that weren’t were too far from the compound and Natasha’s potential future work place, except one. Yelena found it, it was less then thirty minutes away of everything, looked nice on the pictures and had a big garden and four rooms.

 

They were looking at the advert for this house one last time before calling to get an appointment to visit it when Tony walked past and got interested, “What is that now? For you, Yelena?”

 

“Nope, for the lovebirds right there.”

 

“Show it to me,” Tony said and sized the laptop before Natasha could protest.

 

“We are thinking of calling the estate agent to visit it.”

 

Tony was making different sorts of weird noise and faces, all indicating that he didn’t like the idea, “Huh, yeah, nah. You’re not buying some shitty house. You’re gonna tell me what you want and my architect is going to make your dream house for you.”

 

“What?” Carol exclaimed.

 

“Where?”

 

“Well, I happen to have just acquired a very nice land with a pond in the middle. I was thinking that you could have your house on one end of the lake and me and Pepper on the other side, that way when we have kids they can play together and everything. It’s also close to where you plan to have your orphanage, so not too much time to go to work, it’s close to New York as well and to the compound, that way the kids can come visit.”

 

“Aw! You want to keep us close.”

 

“In a matter of fact, yes. I enjoy spending time in your company and I was hoping you would accept my amazing gift that is your dream house by a nice lake.”

 

“Oh right, so you are doing us a favour.”

 

“Kinda! Free house, free architect, what more do you want?”

 

Carol and Natasha looked at each other but they already knew what the answer was. Tony was right, it was an amazing proposition, to not have to loan money to buy a house, to have the house of their dream, they could only say yes.

 

“All right, okay. When can we meet your architect.”

 

“Whenever you want, I just have to call him and tell him to come and he’ll be there. But take a few days to think of what you want and come back to me then.”

 

“Yeah, sounds good.”

 

“Thank you Tony, really,” Carol added.

 

“It’s nothing. If anything I’m doing this for myself, to have my friends close to me.”

 

“It’s still really nice.”

 

“I know,” he laughed, “I’m nice like that. I’ll see you soon then.”

 

They all said goodbye to him before Yelena turned to the couple, “So he’s just making a village with all his friends there, isn’t he?”

 

“Kinda.”

 

“I mean, isn’t it what everybody dreams of?” Natasha wondered.

 

“I don’t have friends so I wouldn’t know,” Yelena mumbled.

 

“Yes, you do. The people here are your friends.”

 

“All my friends are Avengers and live in the same place, yikes.”

 

Yelena stayed with her friends for the following days to discuss the last mission to free the two widows that remained under Dreykov’s control and to help Natasha and Carol in their choices for their house.

 

They knew they wanted to have a spare bedroom for Yelena, until she’d decide to move to the US, and they also needed a room for themselves and for their kids. Ideally, they wanted two kids, so they’d need two bedrooms for them, but they also wanted to live in the same room for their first years so they would grow together. With that in mind, they went for three bedroom plus an office, that could be turned into a spare room when their kids would be older.

 

Carol and Natasha also wanted to have their own space with a bedroom and bathroom. For the rest, they would trust the architect to make something nice, after all it was their job.

 

They met with the architect a couple days later to tell them what they wanted. After a week, they came back to the couple with 3D plans of the house. Carol and Natasha loved it, the house’s arrangement, the wooden floor and walls, the outside, their master bedroom, everything looked exactly like they wanted it.

 

When the architect left, Tony took Natasha and Carol to his land, where they would live. He first showed them where their house would be, close to the pond, under birch and oak trees. Tony’s house would be on the same side of the pond, so that his family could enjoy the sun most of the day as well, but it would be on the other end of the pond.

 

Tony’s house was already half built, he and Pepper would be able to move in soon. And it was perfect timing for them, as Tony announced proudly, “You might have bested me for the wedding part, but I think I’m gonna win for the kid part.”

 

Natasha gasped, “Pepper’s pregnant?”

 

“She very much is, five month next week.”

 

Carol and Natasha both squealed and pulled Tony into their arms, “We are so happy for you, Tony,” Carol said.

 

“Thank you. I’m over the moon to be honest, I’ve kept it for myself for too long.”

 

“Who else knows?”

 

“Only you, gonna make the announcement tomorrow at dinner.”

 

“I get why you insisted that everybody should be there now.”

 

Tony took Carol and Natasha back to the compound. When they got to their rooms, they agreed it was time for them to do something important; beginning to make their adoption fill.

Chapter 82: The Danvers-Romanoff house

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Natasha and Carol moved in their new house a month after the birth of Tony’s and Pepper’s child. She was a little girl named Morgan, and Natasha was her godmother.

 

Their first steps in the house where full of “wow” and “oh”, they both loved everything they were seeing. Natasha loved how big the living area was, with no walls separating the dinning room, living room and kitchen. It would make a very pleasant atmosphere when they would have guests and would also be practical to watch their kids.

 

The wood that the walls and floors were made of created a warm and safe environment, that would be perfect for children to grow up in. The bedroom for the kids was the only one that wasn’t furnished yet, because Natasha and Carol didn’t know when or if they would ever adopt kids. It was just an empty room for now, awaiting to be filled with toys and giggles.

 

Carol’s favourite part of the house was hers and Natasha’s master bedroom upstairs. It was where they spent most of their days since they moved in, sleeping in and relaxing, in bed or in their bathtub in which they both easily fitted. The balcony with view on the lake was what made them stay upstairs so much, they loved to be outside to read.

 

The only thing that was missing now was kids, the rest of the house felt empty without more people in it. Of course, many people visited in the first few weeks, but there was still a lack of something on the normal days.

 

Liho loved the house as well, she loved being able to go outside whenever she wanted to climb in trees and chase butterflies.

 

Now that they had the house and, with it, an official address, they could finalise their adoption fill. Thanks to Tony, they got in contact with a person that used to work in that field and they gave the couple key advice.

 

The first thing they told them was to not send their fill with the compound’s address. Second thing, an important one, was that one of them had to work and have an official income for their application to be considered.

 

Since Natasha’s project was still awaiting approval and could begin at any point, Carol was the one who got a job. She didn’t have to go very far, the Avengers needed someone that’d train them, so she became their trainer. She did basically the same thing as when she was training the new Avengers, except that this time it was only three times a week and she was paid for it.

 

With the job and the house, their fill was completed, their application to become parents ready. They sent the file on March 6th, a month after they moved in. Now they could only wait, and waiting was the worst part, especially for Natasha.

 

She had to wait for her two project, and while she did she had nothing else to do. Carol was going to the compound three times a week but Natasha was staying home. Most of the time, when Carol was gone, Natasha was outside gardening or going to Tony’s to help with the baby while Pepper was working. She liked those activities but there was always a moment in the day where she found herself bored.

 

She eventually decided to go with Carol once a week so she could see her friends and her therapist to talk about all these recent changes. It felt really great to be back in therapy, especially after not going for two years.

 

One day, Natasha was so bored that she called Melina. It was hard for her to admit that she missed her and Alexei, they weren’t fans of talking feelings but Melina was glad to hear it. Natasha kept the call going until Carol came back to ask her if she’d be okay to have Alexei and Melina over for a few days. Carol didn’t mind, she even liked the idea, after all they made this house to fill it with people they loved.

 

A week later, Melina and Alexei were there. They got to discover the house, the surroundings, and met Tony, Pepper and Morgan. Natasha told them about her project and the adoption. Melina was mostly interested in the orphanage and Alexei in the potential grandchild he would have. Alexei told Natasha he and Melina were proud of her, and she really needed to hear it.

 

Since Melina and Alexei were there, Natasha wanted to have a big dinner and invited Tony, Pepper, Pietro and Wanda. Although it was Natasha’s idea, Carol did most of the cooking. During the dinner, Wanda got to share her recent self discovery.

 

Vision once told her about some research they did on hypnosis and how it could help people remember things they suppressed from their memory. They never got the chance to give it a go because they were training and, since Vision’s passing, Wanda couldn’t find the strength to do it. Until a couple weeks ago. She told Pietro about it and went all around New York to find people that could help Wanda.

 

He found two women that agreed to try, and thanks to them Wanda remembered the day her parents passed. It was a very hard moment of course but she still got to understand what happened to her, or rather who she was. She figured out that her powers were always in her, and that she actually shut down the shell that hit her house and almost killed her and Pietro.

 

During another session, she remembered what HYDRA did to her, and how being in contact with the Mind Stone freed her powers and Pietro’s, instead of give the powers to them like they thought.

 

Tony and Carol were both intrigued by that, it was the first time they heard of people who were born with powers – outside of Thor who’s an actual God. They wanted to know more, to understand how this could be, but Wanda didn’t want to go through more experiments. She just wanted to understand how powerful she was and she could do it with Pietro.

 

The talks for the rest of the evening were more unserious. Tony was making the most stupid predictions about Carol and Natasha’s future parenting style. Alexei enjoyed that kind of humour and joined him with even more unlikely behaviours that the couple would have with their kids.

 

After this dinner, Natasha wanted to host more dinners and asked Maria to come for dinner with Dr. Wittayer, who was officially her partner now.

 

This evening was more chill, the four of them were just chatting and drinking wine, Carol bringing some snacks from time to time.

 

Maria eventually mentioned the Avengers and how it felt weird to not have Carol and Natasha around anymore. While Carol understood because she missed living there as well, she also felt like she could not live with the superhero guilt anymore and had to be away, and training the Avengers was a lot already.

 

That made Natasha think of the book idea about this topic, she had to mention it to her therapist, “We were joking once with Carol about you and Dr. Odé writing a book based on her and her superhero guilt, but you could actually do it.”

 

“I’m not sure I can do that. It’s a complex subject that would need someone with amazing writing qualities to do it justice.”

 

“Shut up, you’re a great writer, I’ve seen it. You just need time to do it.”

 

Dr. Wittayer was confused, “What do you mean you’ve seen it?”

 

“I read some of your manuscripts.”

 

“But those are locked in my desk.”

 

Carol and Maria shared a glance before bursting into laughters. Dr. Wittayer wasn’t sure she understood what was going on, she only knew it was something about Natasha.

 

“That’s what happens when you leave a patient that is a spy alone in your office,” Maria explained as she wiped the tears off her cheeks.

 

“In my defence, it was our second session, I didn’t know you at all and was only looking for something about you. I found out you were a good writer, that was enough for me. Now you can go see Dr. Odé and discuss with her about superhero guilt, I’m sure the two of you can make a great book out of it.”

 

Dr. Wittayer rolled her eyes, “Okay, I’ll think about it. But no promises.”

 

“You should do it, a lot of people would want to know what’s going on in superheroes’ head.”

 

“I said I’ll think about it!”

 

Natasha wasn’t going to push more, she knew that what she said was already enough for her therapist to be interested in the subject. It might take a few months, but she would eventually go talk to Dr. Odé about this and start writing this book.

 

It became a ritual for Natasha and Carol to invite people over, at least once every two weeks. Some times it was just one or two people, Sam after a long day at work or Yelena who happened to be around. Some times, it was half of the Avengers, Tony with his wife, child and best friend, Thor who visited with a few of his Asguardians friends.

 

But even when their friends were over, Natasha and Carol felt like something was missing in the house. This house was made to have children in them, it’s the only reason why they wanted a place to live out of the compound.

 

Since it was too hard for them – especially for Natasha – to live their on their own, they decided to go back to living in the compound until they would be appointed as foster parents for a child.

 

So they moved a part of their belongings back to the compound, accepting that living there was better for them than living at their house. They were sad to not feel like this house was home yet, even after living there for five months.

 

What they didn’t expect was that they would have to go back to the house barely two months after leaving it, when the child protective services wanted to meet them.

Notes:

Thanks to an app called Kozikaza, I made what I imagined Carol and Natasha’s house would be. I couldn’t do everything I wanted because the app has some limits (it’s still a really amazing app), and I’m also not an architect. It’s inspired by Tony’s house in endgame, since it’s on the same land and made by the same architect in the fic.

You can find the screenshots on this link:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1EN-VlAsuGujtHAXG7NqBoKCc5vi-ue57?usp=sharing

Tell me what you think of it!

Chapter 83: New life

Notes:

there's the mention of a song in the chapter, you can listen to it here Mistral Gagnant - Renaud

Chapter Text

It all want so fast. One Friday evening Natasha got a call from the Child Protective Services, saying that they would come to their house to visit the next Monday, and two weeks later they were given the care of twins.

 

In the weekend between the call and the visit, they went to a shop to get everything they needed to make the currently-empty bedroom welcoming for a child. At the end of the visit, the social worker told them that they would need not one but two beds for babies.

 

They were seven months old, born the day Carol and Natasha sent their fill to apply for adoption. They were fraternal twins, a girl and a boy, born from a Canadian father and Mexican mother who both lived in New York. These people were coming from the foster system themselves, met through it and sadly died in a car accident a few weeks after the mother gave birth. With no next of kin to take care of the twins, they got into the foster system as well, and a few months later Natasha and Carol were chosen to be their foster parents.

 

For now, they weren’t officially adopted, they would have to wait a few months for the adoption to be official, but in Carol’s and Natasha’s hearts it already felt like they were their kids.

 

They first saw them at the orphanage, where a lot of people met them to explain the whole process. The next time they saw them, it was at their house, the social workers came with the kids so they could spend a first night there. Natasha got to meet the boy, Wyatt, and Carol met the girl, Olivia. When they had them in their arms, that was it, they were home with their kids, that they would love with everything they had in them.

 

The next day, the social workers came back to see that everything went perfectly for the couple and the twins, they were already dressed and fed and ready to go. But the social workers didn’t come to take the twins back, it was a night of test and, since it went well, the kids would stay and the social workers were just there to bring their clothes.

 

After the social workers left, Natasha and Carol realised that they had two small humans living with them now. It felt strange, they didn’t really got time to let the information sink in and now they had the twins in their house and didn’t know what to do. It was even weirder because they were seven months old, they didn’t have to take care of them as newborn, didn’t have a routine, they had to create one.

 

It was all very sudden and neither Carol nor Natasha knew what to do. For now, the twins were asleep in their room but they would soon wake and after giving them lunch the couple didn’t know what to do. They had two options, the could look on the internet or call Tony for help. They had not talked to him or any of their friends and family since that first call, so they chose the second option to finally tell someone that they had twins in their house and to have some company.

 

Good to know you’re alive, you could have answered my texts,” was the first thing Tony said when he answered the phone.

 

Natasha rolled her eyes, “Shut up, you are literally five hundred metres away from us, you could have come and checked.”

 

Guess you’re right. So, what’s up?”

 

“We need your help, like now. Could you come over.”

 

You sound very mysterious, I don’t like it. Did you kill your wife and need me to hide the body?”

 

“Nope, I’m fine Tony,” Carol shouted to make sure Tony would hear her.

 

“Just come, please,” Natasha insisted, “bring Morgan if you have to, you know we love to have her around.”

 

I would but she’s with her mom. I’m on my way.”

 

Tony showed up at their door five minutes later and knocked, which was a giant relief for the couple. Natasha opened the door and the first thing she saw was Tony’s usual smirk on his lips.

 

“So, what’s going on?” he asked.

 

Natasha mirrored his smirk and said, “Follow us.”

 

It seemed that he did not notice the baby stuff on the couch or in the kitchen, and the theory was confirmed with the face he made when he saw the kids’ room with furniture in it and the twins in Olivia’s bed.

 

“Oh shit,” he blurted out, “Am I seeing double?”

 

Carol laughed, “No, you’re not. Child services called us to give us not one but two babies to foster,” she explained as she hugged Natasha from behind, “they arrived yesterday, they are twins, Wyatt and Olivia. They said they didn’t want to separate them.”

 

“Sounds logical.”

 

“So now we have two seven months old babies,” Natasha added, “and basically no idea what to do with them except feeding them.”

 

Tony understood why Natasha called, “Well, they are sleeping now so you should enjoy that. Although you’ve avoided the worst with the first six months. I’m guessing they slept through the night? Oh, maybe not, they must be teething.”

 

Natasha and Carol were so impressed by how much Tony knew that they froze and only answered when he snapped his fingers in their faces, “I know it’s weird to hear me say stuff like that but I’m a good father, googled a lot of things.”

 

“Of course you are,” Natasha managed to say.

 

“We should go to the living room, let them sleep.”

 

Tony led the way as if he was in his house. He sat down and told them everything he knew about babies of that age, how much they had to sleep, the teething, the crying. Carol and Natasha realised as they listened to him that having two babies right away would be tough, especially for Natasha on the days Carol was working. They had to learn how the twins behaved, what this cry meant for Olivia and what this other one meant for Wyatt. And they also had to create a routine that would work for the four of them. It’s details they didn’t fully thought of, even if they convinced the social workers that they did during the few interviews they had.

 

As they kept chatting with Tony, he had a thought, “Do you think the fact that you are Captain Marvel and Black Widow had an impact on you getting kids quickly.”

 

“I think it’s more about Carol being paid 6k a month to work 4 hours for 3 days each week that helped, and also the fact that we own a house.”

 

“Huh! Good point.”

 

“If anything, the fact that we are retired superheroes might be a disadvantage. They might think that we can go back to being superheroes and so, that we might die, but since we both have projects or jobs, they were more confident.”

 

“I genuinely hope we didn’t get to be their parents because of our names, it would be unfair for people that have been waiting for longer than us.”

 

“I’m sure they think you are capable. They wouldn’t have given them to you if they thought you aren’t.”

 

Tony stayed to witness how capable Natasha and Carol were during lunch. They made food for the twins and themselves without any problem, the twins were calm and ate everything they were given. They also had bought everything they needed for the kids, food, nappies, toys, a stroller. To Tony, they were more than ready and were just still adapting to the change, which was normal.

 

And he was right, after a few days, Natasha and Carol were already a well-oiled machine, found the routine they dreaded so much and lived their best lives. That was when they started to tell their friends that they were parents and invited them over to meet the kids. Yelena cancelled a mission to be the first to meet them. Wanda and Pietro spent a whole afternoon comparing themselves as babies to the twins and found resemblances that no one would have thought of.

 

Bucky cried when he carried them both in his arms, which was as surprising as it was adorable. He said he was looking for reasons to stay in the US and these two were it. Sam visited the next day with Monica and, as hard as they tried to hide it, Natasha and Carol could tell they were dating. The fact that they came together didn’t help, but it was the way the were comfortable around each other that confirmed it.

 

Melina and Alexei were the happiest grandparents ever when they met Olivia and Wyatt, although Melina didn’t like to be called that way. They visited the same day as Laura and her kids, the house had never been so crowded and Natasha and Carol loved it.

 

Soon, the twins were turning one, and for the occasion they had a big party in the compound, that way everybody fitted.

 

Olivia was already quite good at standing and tried a few times to walk without success. Wyatt was struggling in that department but he was a very fast crawler and was chatty although he didn’t make much sense yet. They were good friend with Morgan, who was six months older than them and showing them all the things she was able to do. These three would definitely mess around when they’d be older, and since they would be going to the same school, their parents would hear about it a lot.

 

A couple days after the birthday party, while Carol was working and Natasha was with the kids, the former got a call from Child Services. They told her that she and Natasha could now officially adopt Wyatt and Olivia since it had been five months since they had been fostering them and that everything went well. Carol didn’t expect it to go that fast but she was happy that she and Natasha could finally become the twins’ parents.

 

After work, she went to the Child Protective Services office to get all the paperworks they’d have to fill. On the way back, there was a lot of traffic, it took Carol more than an hour to go back home. When she called Natasha to tell her she wouldn’t make it for dinner, she forgot to tell her the good news because of how angry she was in the car. At some point, Carol considered abandoning the car on the side of the road and fly back home but she was the only one with this ability in the family, they would need the car.

 

It was almost nine PM when Carol parked in front of the house and she could already hear the cries of her son. Natasha was standing in the living room with Wyatt in her arms, hopelessly trying to soothe him. He already had his favourite plushy in his hands, was wrapped in his favourite blanket, but he was still crying.

 

Carol’s first instinct was to take him when she got in, knowing Natasha was tired from the day.

 

“Olivia’s sleeping already but she’s been restless all day. She barely napped, didn’t play this afternoon and I had to give her a bottle because she didn’t want to eat. Wyatt was okay until dinner, he started crying and he won’t stop. I don’t know what to do.”

 

“It’s gonna sound weird but we could call HQ, ask if any doctor is still there. I know the hospital would be better but I don’t think I can handle all the waiting.”

 

Natasha went upstairs to call the compound without having Wyatt’s screaming in the phone. Carol tried all her tricks but even warming him with her powers didn’t work.

 

“They said someone’s coming here, that way Olivia can rest.”

 

Carol pulled Natasha closer to her and kissed her forehead, “You should go rest. I can take care of him.”

 

Natasha wrapped her right arm around Carol and ran her left hand in Wyatt’s hair, “I can’t sleep not knowing what’s happening to my son.”

 

Carol understood, she knew Natasha was desperate to know what was wrong with Wyatt. She too would stay up until he would be okay.

 

Twenty minutes after Natasha called the compound, a car parked in front of their house. Carol was the one opening the door to Dr. Wittayer, who looked as surprised as her to be there.

 

“I know, you wouldn’t think I’m that kind of doctor as well. It’s been a while but I can still diagnose some stuff.”

 

Natasha threw herself into her therapist’s arms, “As long as you can find what’s wrong with him I don’t care how much time it’s been since your last medical exam.”

 

Carol and Natasha watched Dr. Wittayer’s every moves, how she cautiously removed his clothes to hear his heartbeat and how patient she was when he didn’t let her look at his throat. Natasha went to get Olivia after she heard her through the baby monitor. She came back and asked Dr. Wittayer to have her checked as well since she wasn’t behaving as usual during the day.

 

This time, Dr. Wittayer was quicker because she already identify what was wrong with Wyatt and knew what to look for in Olivia.

 

“They’ve both got an ear infection. Both ears for Wyatt, left ear for Olivia, might explain why she didn’t cry, although it’s a big one so it must hurt her throat as well.”

 

“That’s why she didn’t want to eat earlier,” Natasha concluded as she clutched her daughter against her chest.

 

“Probably. Wyatt’s isn’t so bad, I think he’s mostly crying because he’s scared, he mustn’t be hearing like he usually does. Olivia is a strong little girl for sure.”

 

Wyatt had stopped crying at last and Olivia was asleep again, “I have painkillers with me that will help them get through the night, and tomorrow you can go get antibiotics to treat the infection.”

 

“Thank you so much for coming. It’s so late, you must be tired.”

 

“It’s all right. I was just done with Wanda when she got your call, I had to come.”

 

“Good to know you are that kind of doctor too,” Carol said in a quiet voice as she rocked Wyatt.

 

“I loved it for a while and then I had to take way to many patients. It was too much pressure. So I went back and get my degree in psychology, less patients but more money and as interesting if not more.”

 

“Well, I am personally very grateful for that,” Natasha said.

 

Dr. Wittayer smiled and got on her feet, “I should go,” she handed Natasha the prescription for the antibiotics and the painkillers, “have a good night.”

 

“You too, doc.”

 

“And thank you again.”

 

The twins were now both asleep but they hadn’t taken the painkillers yet. Natasha preferred to give it to them now instead of waiting for them to wake up in pain in the middle of the night. She wanted to wake them but Carol disagreed.

 

“Hey, hey. Remember what Tony said, enjoy it when they are asleep. You go sleep upstairs, I’ll stay in the guest room and when they wake up I’ll give them the painkiller.”

 

They went to the kids room together and put them to bed. Natasha, finally relieved, let go of all the stress of the day and cried silent tears in Carol’s arms as they watched their babies sleeping. Carol wiped her tears away when Natasha looked up and kissed her.

 

“Go to bed,” she whispered and kissed her again, “I love you.”

 

Natasha mouthed it back and pressed her lips one last time on Carol’s before leaving. Carol set up the baby monitor and kept the other part with her as she went to the living room. It was a mess in the kitchen, Natasha didn’t get time to clean after she and the kids ate because she had to take care of Wyatt and there were toys everywhere.

 

Carol started with the kitchen and then put all the toys on their box to finally go get her phone in her coat. In it, she also found the papers for the adoption that she got earlier in the day and realised she didn’t even tell Natasha. In other circumstances, she would have woken her up to tell her the good news but, after the day Natasha had, she needed the rest so it would wait until morning.

 

Carol was very excited about it though, so much that she went to the office to start filling the papers. She was halfway through the third page when she heard Wyatt crying. She went to the room and took him in her arms to calm him. It worked quickly this time, and Carol was about to go to the kitchen with him to get the painkiller when she noticed that Olivia was moving. She was awake, too, but she was quiet.

 

Carol left her daughter alone for a minute so she could set the folding crib in the office and put Wyatt there. Then, she went to the kitchen to take the painkillers and carried Olivia in her arms. She gave them both the painkiller and laid down Olivia beside her brother.

 

The kids were calm but weren’t sleeping, their eyes were wide open, in direction of Carol, as if they were asking her to take a break from filling the papers. Beside them was an upright piano, that the architect put there after Carol told them she could play. She once played while Natasha was upstairs and the sound of the piano didn’t reach her, so she could play now even if Natasha was sleeping.

 

Carol put her fingers on the keys and she started playing a song she learn a very long time ago. It was a French song, written by a father to his daughter. In it, he sang all the things he wished he could do with his daughter if they had more time, he wished she could be a child forever, so he could be her favourite person forever. Back when Carol learn to play that song, she wished her father felt that way about her, but the truth was far from it.

 

To her kids, Carol played the song and sang what she remembered of the lyrics, knowing that she wouldn’t see the time pass and would one day wish she could have had more time with her son and daughter. Carol turned around to see that Olivia and Wyatt were both asleep, Wyatt’s hand on top of his sister’s. Carol took her phone to capture this moment and then put her hands on her kids’ bellies.

 

"Hey babies, it's mommy. I just wanted to tell you that I love you so much, so so much, and your Mamatasha loves you too. We both love you two so much, you are a blessing on our lives. We know how lucky we are and we’ll do everything to make you the happiest children ever."

 

When she was done, Carol heard noise behind her and saw Natasha leaning against the door frame when she turned around.

 

"How did you just call me?" Natasha asked as she joined Carol and held her from behind.

 

"Mamatasha… it kinda just came out of nowhere, I'd understand if you don't like it."

 

"I love it," Natasha replied and kissed Carol’s neck, "You know, Yelena and I used to call Melina "Mamalina", Yelena mostly."

 

"Well, she is Grandmalina now."

 

"She won’t like that," Natasha laughed, followed by a yawn.

 

“Why are you up? Did I wake you with the piano?”

 

“I couldn’t sleep without you.”

 

“They’re gonna be out for the night, we can go sleep now.”

 

Natasha agreed and freed Carol. Before they could leave the room, Natasha noticed the papers on the desk and asked, “What’s that?”

 

Carol gasped, “I’m so sorry I forgot to tell you. I was upset in the car and then Wyatt was crying and then you were sleeping.”

 

“What is it Carol?”

 

“We can officially adopt them, I got the call this afternoon and went to get the papers.”

 

“For real?” Natasha asked, tears in her eyes.

 

Carol smiled as she pulled Natasha closer, “Yeah, they can be ours, finally.”

 

Natasha looked back at the crib with her two children in it, “Our babies.”

 

“Yeah. We can finish this in the morning. They won’t take them back.”

 

Natasha laughed and took a last look at her kids before leading Carol to their bedroom. They slept peacefully, knowing that Olivia and Wyatt were not in pain. The kids woke up at 9 AM, after eight hours of sleep. While Carol was taking care of them, Natasha went to the pharmacy to get the antibiotics that Dr. Wittayer told them to get.

 

The kids took the meds without struggle and were very excited all morning. Carol played more piano to occupy them while Natasha was filling the adoption papers.

 

She was almost done when Carol brought up something she had been thinking about for a while, "You know, on Skrullos they rise babies and kids using gender neutral pronouns and, when the kids are old enough to decide, they tell their parents how they identify. I thought we could do that froma now on, that way they can choose without being influenced by stereotypes."

 

"It's a great idea," Natasha replied, “Might be hard for me to not say they are my son and daughter at first.”

 

“I know, I’ll struggle too. But we should start now since they are going to talk soon.”

 

“We should also tell everybody, cause I know Alexei will get them the most cliché toys for a boy and a girl next Christmas.”

 

“I mean it’s not necessarily a problem, we can tell them to not get toys for Olivia and Wyatt but for them both, don’t separate the presents, you know. They’ll both play with everything, anyway.”

 

Carol noticed that Natasha was on the last page of the adoption papers, and there was still something she wanted to discuss with her, “Are you done soon?” she asked.

 

“Yep, we should double check though.”

 

“Before we do that, there’s one last thing. I already filled this part but I wanted to discuss it with you first. We agreed that we wouldn’t change their names because it’s what’s left of their biological parents, but we can give them a middle name, and I got an idea.”

 

Carol showed the names she picked to Natasha and her smile was enough to say that she agreed, “They are perfect.”

 

On the paper, Carol wrote:

Olivia Maria Danvers-Romanoff.

Wyatt Clint Danvers-Romanoff.

 

Chapter 84: Big day

Notes:

ONE CHAPTER LEFT AFTER THIS ONE GUYS!!

Chapter Text

Just like Carol had thought, time went extremely fast from the moment they were officially Wyatt’s and Olivia’s parents. It only took a few weeks from the moment they sent the papers to the moment they were legally made their parents, and after that a year and a half passed in the blink of an eye.

 

A couple months after their first birthday, Olivia had her first steps. Wyatt struggled a bit longer and walked when he was 18 months old, but he was the first to talk. Olivia quickly followed and learnt a lot of words very quickly. She loved the word cat as well as yay that she shouted when Liho was around. Wyatt was more of a toy child, he was very good at asking for the ball, the train or the bird, his favourite plushy.

 

Soon, the twins would know their first day at preschool and Natasha’s project would finally be launched. The opening ceremony of her orphanage was happening the same day as the kids’ first day of school, while they would be there learning more words.

 

Carol and Natasha were both very nervous about this day, but it was double the amount of stress for Natasha. In one day, she had to watch her kids be away for the first time in almost two years, and had to make a speech for the opening ceremony. The orphanage wasn’t opening for another two months though, but people would start working to find kids that’d need a room there.

 

They organised this ceremony mostly for the press, to show what a retired Avenger was doing of their life. It was also good for Stark Industries’ public image to be the main investor of such a project.

 

Both Pepper and Tony would be there to represent the company, as well as most of the Avengers to support Natasha. Even Maria and Nick were coming, despite their very full agendas. The only regret Natasha had was that Alexei and Melina couldn’t be there, but they called her the day before to send her love and support.

 

On the morning of the day, Natasha and Carol woke up earlier than usual to make sure their children would be fully prepared for their first day of school. Their outfits were perfectly folded in the bathroom, their school-bags had everything they needed in them and were waiting for them at the front door and their breakfasts would be ready to be eaten the second they would wake up.

 

At 7.45 am, Natasha went to the kids’ room to wake them while Carol was finishing their breakfasts. They ate without struggle, brushed their teeth and got dressed as if it was a non-eventful day.

 

In the car, Carol questioned them to make sure they knew what was happening. When she asked them if they knew where they were going, they both joyfully shouted school , and when she said that Mama and Mommy wouldn’t be there with them for a few hours, they both yelled yay.

 

It should have made Natasha and Carol happy to see that the twins weren’t scared to go to school but the truth was that it hurt a little to know that their kids already wanted to spend time away from them. They did spend every minute of their lives with Carol and Natasha since they had been fostered by them, they were always there. They didn’t go to nursery, didn’t make friends beside Morgan, so it made sense that they were excited to meet new kids.

 

As they usually did when they were walking outside, Carol took Olivia’s hand, Natasha took Wyatt’s, and the twins held each other’s free hand. They made their way to the school, Carol and Natasha apprehensive to see their kids go, Wyatt and Olivia over the moon to discover a new territory and new people.

 

Before going inside, Natasha took Wyatt in her arms and Carol did the same with Olivia so they could have one last talk with them.

 

“Remember what Mommy said, listen to your teacher and if you’re scared or need something, you ask your teacher. Stay together as much as possible and be nice to the other kids.”

 

“Yes Mama,” said Wyatt before hugging his mom.

 

Olivia hugged Carol before asking to go in Natasha’s arms. Natasha kissed Wyatt’s temple and let him go in Carol’s arms, “We love you both so much,” Carol told them as she held Wyatt and kissed Olivia’s hair.

 

“Okay, time to go.”

 

As the four of them walked inside the school to bring the twins to their classroom, Natasha and Carol noticed a couple of men walking a little girl inside. They all stopped at the same classroom’s door and smiled at each other when they saw that they weren’t the only queer couple with kids at the school.

 

Tears were forming in Natasha’s eyes as she watched her kids walk inside the classroom and sit at the same table. They stayed in the hallway until they were asked to leave – like most of the parents – and walked back to their car.

 

Back home, they had to get ready for the opening ceremony of the orphanage. They had to eat and dress accordingly before going to the venue. They were told by Tony that most of the press was already at the venue and the only thing they wanted was to get a picture of Natasha.

 

It made Natasha even more anxious to know that so many people were waiting for her, she was usually the one that was always in the back. She wasn’t the most popular Avenger, Carol and Tony were the ones that the media loved the most, as well as Thor because he was a God, and the Hulk, but Clint, Natasha and Bruce were rarely interviewed. This time, Natasha was the front woman, it was her project, she worked nights and days to see it happen, and now it was happening.

 

During lunch, Natasha could barely put anything in her mouth because of how anxious she was, every time she tried to swallow some of the avocado toasts that Carol made she felt like she was about to throw up. Carol could see that her wife was not doing well but she also knew that there wasn’t much she could do to make it better.

 

As they put their coats and shoes on, Carol stood behind Natasha and rubbed her shoulders to try to help her relax, “You’re gonna be great,” she whispered to her ear and kissed her neck, “You know why you made this project, why it is so important, just tell them that.”

 

Natasha was in no state to be reassured about the press but Carol’s massage and kisses did help to release some tension in her shoulders.

 

Carol put some chill music as she drove to the venue, that was half an hour away. They didn’t want to have the opening ceremony at the orphanage because the place was ready to welcome kids, it was no place for photographs and journalists. The ceremony was only to put some lights on the project and show how important it was to have more places like this one all over the world to take care of children that lost their parents.

 

Natasha did a lot of research on that matter, and she found out that way too many foster families were mistreating the children they were welcoming in their homes. The numbers were outrageous when foster families were supposed to be the best option for kids in the system. There was also a lack of psychological treatment in orphanages and in the foster system in general, and the current approach of the problems these kids had was wrong.

 

On this last point, Natasha made sure that the kids that would live at the orphanage would get the best psychological care possible. Dr. Odé and Wittayer would partially work there while still having the Avengers as their clients. Three more therapists had been hired so that the fifteen kids that would one day live at the orphanage could be closely followed.

 

As they got closer to the venue, Natasha started to fidget with the buttons of her shirt and the sleeves of her jacket. She chose to wear a suit for this event, unlike she did every time the Avengers were out for some parties. At least five times, Natasha unbuttoned and buttoned up her shirt, not sure if she should leave it slightly opened or not.

 

Carol fixed it all after they parked, she opened two buttons, that way Natasha could breathe and there wasn’t too much of her chest visible. They entered from the back, where basically all their friends were, except for Tony who was keeping the journalists busy.

 

Natasha received a whole lot of compliments about her look when she didn’t feel exactly pretty at the moment and was given praises when she felt like a terrible mother to have an event like that while her kids were at their first day of school. The only thing that was keeping her calm was Carol’s hand in hers, that she never let go off. She would have to, eventually, but for now, while she was greeting her friends, she needed to have her wife around.

 

But a few minutes before it was time for Natasha to go in front of all the journalists, when she needed Carol the most, she got a call and left the room. Thankfully Yelena was there to take Natasha’s hand only a few seconds after her wife left, she knew how anxious her sister was.

 

Most of the guests went to the main room to sit as the moment for Natasha’s speech approached, but Yelena stayed, as well as Maria and Nick.

 

Carol came back three minutes before Natasha had to go on stage, and considering her face, she had a bad news.

 

“Got off the phone with the twins’ teacher. She said some kids were mean to Wyatt, Olivia and another kid because they had different parents, I’m guessing the last kid is the girl that has two dads.”

 

“Are they okay?” Natasha asked, completely forgetting her upcoming speech.

 

“Just a few scratches for Wyatt who apparently protected their sister. The teacher said we should come get them, they kept asking for us, so I’m going while you make that speech.”

 

“If my kids need me, I’m going too.”

 

Yelena tugged her sister by the hand, “Carol can handle it. This is important, too.”

 

“We’ll go,” Maria stated, it made everybody turn mute, “Nick and I can go get them, they love us. You stay here and support your wife. Wyatt will be there when you’re done.”

 

“Take Olivia, too. I don’t want them to be left alone there.”

 

“Okay. Let’s go.”

 

“Thank you both,” Carol said.

 

Natasha’s speech was now a minute away, she was absolutely not in the right state of mind to go on stage and was way too worried for her kids.

 

“How is that even possible? These kids are barely three,” Natasha cried in Carol’s arms.

 

“When you’re raised by hateful people it comes really fast,” Yelena pointed out, “it’s in no genes to be like that, it’s imitation.”

 

“Tony said it was the best school around.”

 

“They are new kids, no one could’ve known.”

 

“I’m sure they’ll do something about it,” Carol said to reassure her wife, “You have to get up there now, babe.”

 

Natasha released a long shaky breath, she needed more than the few seconds she had left to get on stage and talk in front of all these people. While she was calming down, Yelena went to get Pepper.

 

“Can you improvise something for a few minutes? Natasha needs more time. Something happened with the kids, she needs to relax a bit.”

 

Pepper was on her feet before Yelena was finished. She had nothing planned but she understood very well how Natasha was feeling and had to help her out.

 

“Bought you some time,” Yelena said as she walked back stage.

 

Natasha heard Pepper speaking and instantly felt better. She fell back in Carol’s arms and found her safe space in the crook of her neck.

 

“God, I’m such a mess right now.”

 

Carol gently lifted Natasha chin with her pointing finger and kissed her lips, “You look wonderful and you are wonderful. What you’ve done is amazing, it’s inspiring, and all these people want to know is how you did it. They won’t try to trick you, they just want to hear your story, so tell them.”

 

Natasha took a deep breath and kissed Carol before indicating that she was ready to go. Carol went to her seat, leaving Natasha alone for her last moments of preparation. She took a minute to clear her mind, redid her speech in her head and stepped in the main room.

 

She was hidden from the crowd but the people on the stage could see her. Pepper noticed her in the corner of her eye and quickly finished stalling.

 

“And now, everyone, the person that has created all this. Natasha Romanoff.”

 

Cameras’ flashes and clapping, that was all Natasha could see and hear as she walked on the stage. Her notes were on the tribune, but Natasha didn’t need them at all.

 

“Good afternoon,” she began as the crowd went silent, “Thank you all for being here. It’s a pleasure for me to be able to present to you this project that has a very special place in my heart. Before I began, I want to give a special thank you to Tony Stark, who helped organising this event. Pepper Potts and Maria Hill for their participation in the creation of the project and finally Carol Danvers-Romanoff, for her unconditional love and support.

It was very dear to me to make a project around helping orphans as I am an orphan myself. I didn’t get the chance to grow up surrounded by people who loved me and it almost cost my life.

Today marks the beginning of something important, something that matters deeply for me. Today, I can finally announce what I’ve been working on, and why. Today, I announce the opening of The Fireflies, an orphanage that will welcome fifteen kids from the age of five to ten years old.

The age range is the first thing I want to talk about. It’s a range that has been thought through for months, a range in which kids’ development is huge on many levels.

The idea of The Fireflies is to welcome all fifteen kids at the age of five and accompany them in their lives from five to ten. But, by ten, what do they become, you might ask. Well, the project doesn’t stop there. Our idea is to build another place where these kids can grow up together, The Dragonflies, so that we can welcome new kids at The Fireflies. This new place will open only when the first kids leave The Fireflies.

You might wonder, why proceeded like this? What is wrong with the current system? I am no judge of what has been done in this country for orphans, but I do know that growing up with the same people around you, with friends, is healthier than changing foster family every three months. Our idea is to offer long term support to these kids, from the moment they arrive to their adulthood.

Soon, The Fireflies will open for these fifteen kids, and no more than eight social worker, five therapists and many more professionals will work everyday with these kids to make their lives as good as possible.”

 

The crows cheered loudly. The journalists were clearly interested in the project, many hands were risen, hoping they’d get a chance to ask their question.

 

“As for questions, you can submit them in the boxes that you can find at the exits of the venue. I know there’s a lot of them and I want to answer them all, but it won’t be possible now,” Natasha announced, “I want to thank you again for coming. This project is for now funded mostly by Stark Industries, but we can always do with more funding. The visibility that you are giving to us is well appreciated.”

 

On these words, Natasha left the stage, followed by the applause of all the people in the venue. She was joined backstage by her friends, who all congratulated her. Natasha looked around to try and find Maria and Nick. They said they would be there when she was done but it was physically impossible, the school was twenty minutes away from the venue, they had left half an hour ago.

 

Natasha still kept an eye on the door, knowing they would soon arrived with her kids. When they did, Natasha quickly excused herself and joined them.

 

“Look who’s there! It’s your moms, go see them.”

 

Nick and Maria let go of the twins’ hands and they ran towards Natasha and Carol who followed closely behind her wife.

 

“My babies,” Natasha exclaimed as she knelt down to hug her kids, “Are you okay?”

 

“School is scary,” Wyatt muttered.

 

Natasha carried them both in her arms, paying a careful attention to Wyatt’s face, “I know baby but you’ve done good, right. You went to your teacher when you were scared like mommy and I said.”

 

Carol joined them and took Olivia off Natasha’s arms, “You did good, both of you,” she told them and kissed their foreheads.

 

Maria and Nick gave the Danvers-Romanoff family a few minutes for themselves. They knew Carol and Natasha needed to reassure their kids, especially Wyatt who got really scared that the other children would hurt his sister.

 

“The teacher said they would meet with the parents of the kids, but most likely they will have to find a new school for them,” Maria explained.

 

“I got to talk with one of the fathers of the other girl, he said he was thankful for Wyatt’s courage to stand in front of these bullies,” Nick added, “He’s a really nice guy, too.”

 

“Thank you again for this.”

 

“How did it go?” Maria asked, curious about Natasha’s speech.

 

“Good, I think”.

 

Carol scoffed, “Good? She was amazing, just too humble to admit it.”

 

“That’s wonderful. I’m proud of you agent- Natasha.”

 

Natasha laughed, “Old habits die hard, huh?”

 

“You could say that.”

 

Natasha didn’t let got of Wyatt while she thanked all her friends for their congratulations. The venue was almost empty in ten minutes, and Tony told the couple to go back home to take care of their kids.

 

They bathed them, played with them and Carol made dinner while Natasha napped with Olivia on her left and Wyatt on her right. Dinner went oddly well after the day everybody had, filled with laughters and giggles.

 

The kids were put to bed without struggle but it was difficult for Natasha to leave the room, “I hope we won’t have to convince Wyatt to go to school tomorrow,” she said quietly as she stood beside his bed.

 

“We probably will have to,” Carol replied, “But Maria said the other kids would most likely get expelled, they’ll both feel safer when they’ll be gone.”

 

“I hope you’re right. God, look at my poor baby boy’s face,” Natasha said as she softly stroked her son’s injured cheek.

 

“They’ll be fine, you’re being overprotective.”

 

“No kid should go through this at their age.”

 

“I know, they shouldn’t. Doesn't change the fact that you were so focused on Wyatt earlier that you didn’t see Olivia was crying in my arms,” Carol said. She was in no way upset that Natasha was focused on Wyatt, but she had to point this thing out, “She was as scared as he was, she’s just keeping it in, like her Mama.”

 

Natasha sighed, ashamed that she missed this, “He is so much like you, I see it instantly when something’s wrong with him. It’s harder for me with Oli.”

 

Carol pulled Natasha in her arms, “I know, and I’m there to see when something’s wrong with her, because she is as strong and stubborn as you.”

 

“I don’t want her to feel like I prefer her brother. I love them both so much.”

 

“She knows, baby. You give them so much love everyday, they know you love them.”

 

Natasha truly needed to hear these words, she was so terrified of treating her children differently without noticing it. She knew it happened when she was tired, she paying attention more to one of the twins, most of the time Wyatt, because Olivia wasn’t often looking for attention and could play on her own. Carol never left one of them alone, if she was carrying one of them in her arms, the other was there too. Natasha didn’t understand how Carol could do it, have so much energy all the time for Olivia and Wyatt, but then she remembered energy was Carol’s powers.

 

The next day, as Natasha dreaded, it was hard for Wyatt to get ready for school. Olivia was reluctant too, but when Natasha put on her clothes she didn’t struggle and cry like Wyatt did. He cried on the way to school too and didn’t want to let go of Carol. Their teacher was at the gate, waiting for Natasha and Carol to have a word with them.

 

The four of them followed her to the classroom where they joined the fathers of the little girl. The teacher told them that the headteacher advised the parents of the kids who were violent to quickly find them a new school and to work on their kids’ behaviour that were unacceptable, especially at that age. The four parents were relieved and took some time to explain to their children that they didn’t have to worry anymore.

 

Wyatt was still scared, Carol and Natasha could tell, but Olivia was standing beside him and holding his hand and that seemed to calm him. On their way out of the school, Natasha and Carol exchanged a few words with Henry and Tom, who sounded really nice and even invited the Danvers-Romanoff family for lunch during the weekend.

 

Back home, the couple decided to relax in front of the TV for a while. Natasha had some work to do and Carol had training with the Avengers in the afternoon, so they wanted to enjoy the few hours they had. Carol offered some hands and head massage to Natasha, that were so good that the latter fell asleep.

 

Natasha napped for an hour and woke up just in time to help Carol make lunch. Carol was making an omelette with what was left in the fridge, which meant that she would have to go grocery shopping on her way back to the house after training if she wanted her kids to eat for dinner.

 

“What do you think of mashed peas for dinner? I don’t think the kids have tried yet.”

 

Natasha nodded, too deep in her thoughts to answer.

 

“Babe, is something wrong?” Carol asked as she observed Natasha staring at the tomato she had in her hand.

 

“Yeah, I was just… thinking about everything.”

 

Carol abandoned what she was doing to hold her wife from behind, “Like what?”

 

“Like… this house, the kids, our jobs. We’ve been so lucky in every department.”

 

“You’re right, we have been lucky. But we struggled so much to reach this point of our life together. Remember when we met, the first few months, you could barely touch me, opening up was a big challenge. We worked on all of this, we found more of our difficulties and worked on those too, while saving the world no less, and we still managed to build a healthy relationship. This luck, it’s the result of all the hard work that we’ve put on earlier in our lives, we’ve deserved it.”

 

“When you say it like that,” Natasha said and turned in Carol’s arms to kiss her, “I’ve been the luckiest, though,” she whispered against her lips.

 

“Don’t you think you are a burden, I couldn’t wish for a better partner to spend the rest of my days with. And whatever happens, as long as we have each other, we can do anything.”

 

From that day, the family found their routine, the kids grew up in a healthy environment at school or at home. Life was so enjoyable and simple that Carol and Natasha forgot how messy it used to be when they were superheroes, and didn’t regret their choice to retire.

Chapter 85: Epilogue

Summary:

Summer 2027, the Danvers-Romanoff family is invited at the Starks’ house for Morgan’s 8th birthday. Wyatt and Olivia are 7 and a half years old, Carol and Natasha will celebrate their 10 years anniversary in a few months.

Notes:

This is it for What If, the last chapter, what a ride we’ve had! I truly never thought it would take me two years and a half to write this, I don’t know what I imagined to be honest but I’m so so proud of the result. I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it, I’m so happy that I could give my favourite characters and ship an entire fic in their original universe.

I want to thank all of the people who’ve read, left a kudo, a comment and bookmarked, it’s thanks to you that I kept going, even in the hard days. I also want to thank two of my friends who’ve been really helpful and supportive, if they manage to reach the end I’m sure they’ll know who they are.

Thank you all again for sticking up with me and my story, enjoy it's last chapter and I'll see you in the end notes for a little special something!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Summer 2027, the Danvers-Romanoff family is invited at the Starks’ house for Morgan’s 8th birthday. Wyatt and Olivia are 7 and a half years old, Wyatt is starting to get bigger than his sister. Carol and Natasha will celebrate their 10 years anniversary in a few months, but for the moment they have something else to celebrate.

 

It has been more than five years since the promise Carol made, since she swore to not ever intervene as a superhero. A lot of bad things happened in the years 2023 and 2024, forcing Carol to go back to being an Avenger full time because she was still one of the strongest of them all. Natasha had to delegate a lot tasks to take care of the kids almost full time, but they were helped by Yelena when she was visiting, and Bucky who moved back to the US to be with his friends.

 

Because of all the trouble, Carol had to delay her full retirement, and this day came on the day Pepper and Tony decided to celebrate Morgan’s birthday.

 

While Morgan and her friends are celebrating her birthday in the house, Tony is having an adult party outside. Rhodey is present as well as Maria Hill, without her fiancée Dr. Wittayer. Wanda and Pietro came without their respective partners as well, and Yelena happened to be visiting her sister that weekend.

 

Sam, Bucky and Monica are there too, Monica spending all her time teasing Sam about Bucky, because she knows he has a thing for him. Monica’s and Sam’s relationship ended after three years of dating, they realised they were better has friends, and soon after Bucky moved back to the compound and he and Sam started developing feelings. Everybody was aware of these mutual feelings but the two of them still had not acted on them.

 

After the parents of Morgan’s friends came to pick them up, Morgan, Wyatt and Olivia join their parents for the rest of the afternoon. Wyatt and Morgan are playing with LEGOs while Olivia is seating on Natasha’s lap, dozing.

 

Now that they are just between Avengers (and ex-Avengers), they can speak more freely. Maria has a new to share, something that she knows will cause a lot of talks.

 

“So, there’s a lot of talk at the UN panel recently, even more since a few countries elected new representatives with different point of views than the originals. Apparently the next few weeks will be crazy, I’ve been told that some countries want to Accords to be repealed.”

 

“What?”

 

“For real?”

 

“After all the shits we had to go through, the negotiations and all that.” Natasha says.

 

“Yep. Apparently it’s because there’s more and more superheroes, not all of them have representatives like you and the anonymity thing isn’t working in every country. Also the definition of superhero in itself is a major problem, so instead of trying to find ways to change the Accords, they just want to repeal them.”

 

“I mean, it was a major violation of human rights so I get it,” Tony says.

 

Rhodey chuckled, “Yet you were the first person to agree on them, with the original terms.”

 

“Because we didn’t have a choice, but if now we can go back to how things were I’m fine with that. I mean, you guys, ‘cause I’m retired.”

 

“Maria, that means you’ll be out of job.”

 

“If it happens, yeah. But technically I still work for the Avengers, I’ll just be less busy and get less money. Good thing my partner has a best seller out there.”

 

“How is the tour going?” Pepper asks.

 

“She said it’s fine, mostly signing books, a few interviews but nothing too deep like she and Victoria expected, or at least for now they haven’t met anyone that wants to hear more about superhero guilt.”

 

“Speaking of which, isn’t your final superhero day coming soon?” Sam asks to Carol.

 

Surprisingly, her answer isn’t instantaneous, “Yeah, soon,” she replies vaguely.

 

Natasha only needs one glance to see that Carol is nervous about it, she keeps in mind that she will need to have a conversation with her later.

 

Meanwhile, the debate on the Accords continues between Sam, Bucky and Pietro. It’s quite civil, except when Sam and Bucky are talking to each other, which Yelena notices.

 

“Aren’t you guys supposed to be friends? Why do you keep bickering like an old couple?” Yelena shouts at them.

 

“We’re not bickering,” they both reply.

 

“You’re just proving my point. My friend Kate and I don’t bicker like that, it’s all fun, although she is very annoying, don’t get me wrong.”

 

When are we going to meet that best friend of yours by the way?” Natasha asks, “You said she was a fan of Clint when she was young, I could tell her a lot of things about him.”

 

“And this is the exact reason why you are not meeting her. She is still a big fan of Hawkeye, wants to be the next him or something. If she ever meets you she’ll never let go of you until you’ve told her every single thing you’ve done with him.”

 

“She could meet the Bartons though, I’m sure Laura would love to chat with her.”

 

“She would have to adopt her eventually but okay.”

 

The sun is getting lower and lower in the sky, the evening approaching. Carol takes the twins with her to help Pepper make dinner for the whole group. Sadly, Wanda and Pietro are called on a mission by Dr. Strange and have to leave, but the rest of them stay.

 

Now that Carol is – almost – fully retired for two years, and so is Tony since the battle against Thanos, the Avengers needed new leaders. The role were naturally assigned to Sam and Stephen Strange over time and missions.

 

The team changed a lot in all these years and only one of the original Avengers remains, Thor. He is on Earth most of the time now that Asgard is there, and he swore to Carol to intervene when he’d be needed after she told him she was about to fully retire. Bruce decided it was time for him to leave as well, but he works for the Avengers from time to time when he’s needed, too.

 

There’s a new Hulk in the team though, She-Hulk, Jennifer Walters, Bruce’s cousin. She is also a lawyer, which is a good thing to have in a team like the Avengers. Shang-Chi is another new member of the team. He is a skilled fighter and can control very powerful and ancient magical rings. T’Challa and Shuri are part of the team and monitor the planet from Wakanda.

 

They created another “team”, formed by young superheroes, that need to be trained like the New Avengers after Ultron. Peter Parker is a part of it, although he was a few years older than them, he is sort of their leader. The other members are Kamala Khan, America Chavez, Cassie Lang – daughter of another superhero called “Ant-Man” – and Riri Willians, who made her own version of the Iron Man suit.

 

In this new system, Wanda and Pietro are part of the main team, because of their experience and capacities. With Sam and Strange, they decide who is need for what mission. Sam wasn’t called by Strange because he took vacation days, that’s also something they included with the team changes.

 

So for two weeks, Sam is hanging out with Bucky and Monica, and now he is setting the table with his friends. Meanwhile, Carol is struggling to keep the kids focused on the cooking and eventually let them go outside with their mom.

 

Carol loves to spend time at Tony’s, she gets to talk with them and their experience of parenting, she and Natasha often discuss about it with them to try and be the best parents possible to Olivia and Wyatt. For example, Pepper once shared with Carol that it’s better to let the kids do what they want during their free time, they often play for a while and then come back to get their parents’ attention, that’s when you can ask them to help with food.

 

And she was right, because Olivia comes back after ten minutes and asks if she can help. Pepper and Carol are done with the cooking but she still helps by bringing the food on the table.

 

Dinner ends with the sun reaching the crown of the trees, and before Carol and Natasha can argue, Bucky is taking Wyatt and Olivia on a boat so they can see the sunset better from the pond.

 

The whole group follows and sits by the pond, Carol and Natasha taking some distance by sitting on the pontoon.

 

Carol sees the boat pitching and it’s really not to her liking, “Bucky, I swear to god, if my kids end up in the water I will shove my fist up your ass and photon blast you.”

 

“Ouch, that must be awful,” Bucky shouts back.

 

“Well, now you know you better look out for my kids.”

 

Everybody around laugh, especially Tony who would love to see what would happen of Bucky if Carol does as she said.

 

Quickly, they hear happy screams coming from the boat, the sun setting beautifully behind the trees. As she holds Carol from behind, Natasha can’t stop thinking about the small interaction Carol and Sam had earlier. She wants to know what was going on in Carol’s head, even more when she sees that her wife is too deeply in her thoughts to laugh at the noises her kids are making.

 

“So, you said soon to Sam, about retiring. Something changed?”

 

Natasha feels Carol tense up in her arms, “No, no. I just… didn’t want to make the day about me.”

 

“You still sounded a bit unsure, my love.”

 

Carol shakes her head, “If there is one thing I’m sure of, it’s that I want to grow old with you and enjoy every single day of my life. These two years were so hard for me, even if I wasn’t that far from you guys, it felt like I missed so many things. I don’t want to miss any more moments with you, Oli and Wyatt, you’re all that matters.”

 

Natasha tightens her hold around Carol’s waist and presses a kiss on her temple, “Then I guess we can say goodbye to the Black Widow and Captain Marvel.”

 

Carol snuggles closer to Natasha to get some comfort. It’s still difficult for her to think that, after this day, she will never ever be Captain Marvel. Of course, her legacy will remain, people will remember her as the original leader of the Avengers, the person that saved so many people from dying in New York, Sokovia, and in the whole universe against Thanos. She will always be the one that came back when the universe needed her again.

 

Captain Marvel will always be a part of Carol, she will still use her powers to amuse her kids, take them with her for a flight one day perhaps, but that’s all that will remain of the Captain in her life.

 

Carol Danvers-Romanoff still has a long life ahead of her. Sometimes it feels unreal that she gets to live for another hundred-and-something years, she hasn’t lived half of it, although one can think so considering her life experience.

 

And right behind her is the person that will be by her side for all these years that are left in her life, Natasha, holding her and making her feel safe. It’s only because Carol found her soulmate, the love of her life, that she can let go of this part of herself.

 

Thanks to Natasha, Carol has new reasons to want to live. They created something so beautiful together, this family that she loves more than anything else. There was a time where Carol didn’t feel like having kids would be her thing, but this time had been over for a long while. Back then, she never thought she would have enjoyed that kind of life, but now, when she has Wyatt clutching her side and Olivia on the other, Carol can’t see anything better.

 

This life, it wasn’t created by Captain Marvel and Black Widow, it was created by Carol and Natasha. It’s their names on Olivia’s and Wyatt’s papers, their names on the house’s property deed.

 

After a sigh, Carol speaks quietly, “Goodbye Black Widow and Captain Marvel, you were a nice part of our lives, but it’s time for Natasha and Carol to enjoy it now.”

Notes:

As a celebration of What If ending, I want to do something special, to include you my readers. I would like to know if there is anything you guys want to read, still in this universe, but maybe something I haven’t mentioned, something happening in the future (about the kids maybe), a moment that I didn't write between Natasha and Carol or other characters, a prompt that you wish you would have seen in What If's universe, anything that comes to your mind.
I’ll try to write your ideas, give them in the comments, but please keep it PEGI 12 (PG 13 for americans)!

Thank you one last time for the love and support, it was really an incredible experience for me.

Notes:

Follow me on Twitter to know when I will update: @Amandjnx