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Letters To The Dead

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Archmistress De Vries,

I'm sure that you would find what I'm doing ridiculous, you are dead after all, why should I waste my time writing you a letter that you'll never be able to read? This wasn't my idea of course, Ciri wanted me to try it. She'd told me that doing this helped her cope with the loss of her grandmother. It has been almost 2 months since the coup, but only a few weeks since I was told of your… demise. It's been hard, I'd never thought of a world without you in it. I never thought you were a person who could just die. That was naive - I know, but you were always so much bigger than the world, you felt so permanent. And now you're gone.

I wish I could blame this on anyone else, I could blame it on Philippa, she is the eone who organized the coup. In the end though, it had been you who did it. You killed yourself, and for what? Shame? Guilt? Pride? You could have gone with Geralt and Triss, you could have come to find me, you could have done anything else! But you killed yourself instead! You gave up and you left us to mourn you. Did you even bother to think of how this might affect us, me? The great Tissaia De Vries, dead. Do you know how often I wonder if I could have stopped you… saved you? Everyday. You saved me all of those years ago, but I never had the chance to do the same.

If you could read this, you would probably argue that I'd already saved you in sodden. That wasn't saving you Tissaia, that was sparing you. I couldn't stand the thought of you dying then, I can't stand that you're no longer with us now! I'd spent so long hating you and dragging your name through the mud, but just after I realized what you really mean to me… I've run out of time. I wanted to tell you, I wanted to apologize, but I kept wasting time and avoiding it. Now I can never do it.

I loved you, I love you. It took me so long to realize, and now I can never tell you. It makes me angry to think that had I done something more that maybe none of this would have never happened. What if I'd gone to Nilfgard? Could I have prevented all of this? Could I have kept the kingdom from succeeding and going into the force it is now? Could I have saved you from all of the betrayals you faced that day? Probably not. I would have brought your doom sooner, maybe even taken the entire world with you. I've been so selfish for so long Tissaia, but bow I wanted nothing more than to have done one selfless thing to save you. It had been your choice, but maybe I could have changed your mind.

I need to stop writing now, I'm starting to tear up. Nothing would be more insulting that to cry while writing to you would it. "There's nothing uglier than a crying sorceress", but I guess I always have been ugly in some ways haven't I?

 

With regret,

Yennefer of Vengerberg

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

Tissaia De Vries,

I'd thought that I wouldn't do this again, but I guess it's helped some. It's been over a year since my last unsent letter. I haven't tried to keep track, time is meaningless to someone of my age. Philippa has formed a group of sorceresses called "The Lodge of Sorceresses" since the coup. She learned from her mistakes and has allowed Nilfgard supporting mages within the group, Fringilla included. I'm still upset with her choice to allow Fringilla to join, especially after what she'd done to you at sodden, but I know better than to fight with it too much. There was another coup. So many of us died. Sabrina was burned at the stake, Shaela and Margarita were captured and imprisoned by king Radovid IV of Redania, Philippa had been captured but managed to escape. Her eyes had been gouged out beforehand though, we currently have no information on where she could be. Fringilla is in the custody of Emperor Emrys.

Cirilla is being pursued by the Wild Hunt, I am with her presently trying to help her. She had been trained at Kaer Morhen before the Wild Hunt started pursuing her, so she can protect herself in some ways. I'd recently found myself wondering what you would do, wondering if maybe you could have helped us. You always did have a way of knowing things, of bang able to privileged a solution for everything. Well… almost always… the one time you didn't know something, it led to ruin. To you leaving me.

What would you be doing right now if you were still here? Would you be trying to rebuild Aretuza? Regain the favor of the continent? Maybe you would finally retire and try to live a peaceful life… that's ridiculous, you were always at work, if you were alive you would most definitely be doing something of importance for the world. I've picked up a lot of your habits, I've become more involved in politics and in trying to maintain peace rather than spread chaos. I like to think that maybe you would be proud of me, of how far I've come since my ascension.

I want to talk to you, desperately, but I know that can never happ

 

 

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

 

 

Dear Tissaia,

I'd had to stop writing my last letter rather quickly. Me and Ciri had to move again, and quickly. But that was a long time ago, a very long time ago. I've been very busy since then. To sum it up, as I know you hate when people ramble and waste your time (you're time had run out years ago now… so it shouldn't really matter). Shaela is dead. Her wounds from the tortured she'd endured while imprisoned were too severe for her to survive, we had to kill her. It's what she wanted, she wished to die with dignity. Margarita is alive, but all of the novices she'd had with her are long dead. They had been tortured and burned in front of her, she was left for last. If we had been a day later, she might have been killed. I don't think I could have stood it, she's the closest thing I have to you, she knew you better than the rest of us.

Rita's developed a severe drinking problem in response to your death and the trauma she suffered. She was borderline alcoholic before, but she had gotten worse after we saved her. Philippa has been doing her best to take care of her, they take care of each other actually. We had saved Philippa from Dijkstra, he was keeping her prisoner as revenge for sending assassins after him. Her blindness had been a problem for a shortrime, but she can see using magic. Unlike Vilgefortz, she's been unable to regrow her eyes, which is for the best in my opinion.

Philippa has missed you as well, though she loathes to show it, I know that she feels guilty for what happened. She spends much of her time with Rita, talking and trying to make up for what she's done. The two have developed a not-so-secret relationship with one another. I have no problems with it of course, they are happier together. Keira has been much the same, wondering about the continent and doing whatever pleases her, she rarely gets involved with Lodge business.

Triss has done some questionable things since the coup. She slept with Geralt while I was gone, which I wouldn't mind so much if she wasn't my best friend. I can't be angry with her, but Geralt… he betrayed my trust. I understand that he'd lost his memory, but that doesn't mean that I can't be angry. Ciri has been doing better, she and Geralt have returned to the path and are living their days hunting monsters and the like. The wild hunt has been defeated and she can live in peace. War has finally begun to subside, and this newfound peace has opened many doors for opportunities. I wish you could see it all, what I wouldn't give to have you here beside me…

I never did tell you exactly how I felt did I? I remember telling you I love you, but it's much deeper than that. I am everything I am because of you, I'm here now because of you and your guidance. I continue to live another 50 or so years with the hope that I can one day tell your story. I loved you more than anything, more than Geralt, more than power… I was too naive to have figured it out then, but I know now. I will do everything I can to make sure that you're remembered. I've already done so much.

What I'm proudest of is the academy of magic. The Lodge has decided to try and teach young mages again, not to serve under kings, but to learn to control their chaos and better serve themselves and the world around them. No mage shall ever bow to any kings or queens, or be forced in court. Every student that walks through the halls of Aretuza is to forge their own path. Aretuza has been rebuilt in your memory, a memorial is placed in your former office. I teach the young mage's about the continent as it was before, I tell them our history and of your teachings. I hope this is something you would have wanted… I try to teach as you had, but I know I could nave do as well as you did.

I hope that wherever you are, you know what I've done and what I will continue to do. Oneday, when I've done all I can and my time has come, I hope to see you again. Until then, I will always remember you, I will be thankful for having had you in my life, I will always say your name when I think of the most powerful woman in the world. Tissaia De Vries, former Rectoress and Archmistress of Aretuza.

With love and appreciation for all you've done, I say goodbye one last time.

 

Sincerely,
Your Piglet, Yennefer Of Vengerberg