David got home early from his vendor visit and was excited to surprise Patrick. They hadn’t had as much time together lately with the store being so busy, and adding the online channels meant that Patrick was always running off to the Post Office as soon as David walked in the door.
So an hour early, that was just enough time to sneak in some alone time before they had to leave to meet Stevie for dinner.
He heard him before he saw him and was intrigued by the gentle moans coming from the living room. As he approached, he could see Patrick on the couch, soundproof headphones on, head back against the pillow, legs spread apart… He rounded the corner and saw his pants pushed down and his forearm flexing as he stroked his length.
All at once, Patrick noticed David standing there and pulled a blanket over his lap. In a panic he pushed a bunch of buttons on the remote, and threw his headphones off before looking at David. His cheeks turned pink and he was a little out of breath.
And David was ready to laugh it off. Or join him. Or both. That is, until he saw what was on the television.
Sharks swimming around, and a narrator talking about their sleekness and strength and, oh my god, was Patrick getting off on… sharks?
“David, hey, how’d the vendor visit go? I didn’t think you’d be home until like 5:00, and I was just—“
“No, no, no! Everything is FINE. It was GREAT. You just keep doing… whatever you’re doing, and I’ll just head upstairs to get changed…” David let his voice go quiet as he went upstairs. And started to freak out.
He did the only thing he could. He called in resources.
David: S.O.S.! Stevie – S.O. fucking S.
Stevie: I’m listening
David: I caught Patrick getting off to shark porn!
Stevie: wtf what even is that
David: Hell if I know! What do I do? Is our sex life not exciting enough? Don’t answer that. But Stevie what in the actual fuck?
Stevie: Oh this is epic
David: Not helping
Stevie: So what exactly happened? Does he know you saw him?
David: He tried to cover it up! What do I do? Do I lean in to the shark porn? For Patrick?
Stevie: Lean in, David. Lean in. And promise to tell me everything!
They met Stevie for dinner at 6:00 and David spent most of the time delivering death glares at her overly excited face. She was loving this way too much.
“So Patrick, have you watched anything good for Shark Week this week?” she asked innocently.
David kicked her under the table, and she didn’t even flinch.
“Not really, no. Maybe this weekend we can catch up though, huh David? I love Shark Week!”
David’s eyes went wide and he glared at Stevie who stifled a laugh. He needed to get out of here.
Once they were home, Patrick spent some time in the office paying bills and David went to the bedroom to spiral about how exactly to lean into this… kink.
If “sharks” did something for Patrick… if he had a “shark kink” (he shuddered at the thought)… and if he hid it from David because he was embarrassed, well, that was incorrect. David didn’t want him to be embarrassed about anything.
David could lean in. He was going to lean in.
He could do this.
When Patrick came to bed with a bottle of wine and two glasses, he found David laying on his stomach across the bed with his laptop open. He was wearing a pair of black lace panties, and he had Patrick’s favorite blue throw blanket spread over the bed.
“What is this all about?” Patrick asked, very interested. He straddled David and massaged David’s ass, practically spreading him open.
David didn’t speak. He just hit play.
Sharks started swimming across the screen, and a narrator started talking in his gentle British accent. Patrick’s hands stilled.
“So, I’m not sure how to do this exactly, but I can swish around? Or we can watch together while I get you off?”
“David. What are you talking about?”
“Is this not the right one? Is there another one you like better?” David scrolled through the shark videos hoping to find something Patrick liked.
“David, stop! I’m really, really confused! Did you want to have sex, or did you want to watch shark videos? I feel like lines are really being blurred here.”
“Isn’t that the point?” David squealed.
Patrick climbed off and lay beside him. “David, look at me. Please, tell me what’s in your head right now?”
“Look, I saw you earlier… getting off. To sharks. And I promise, Patrick, that’s okay! I want to be here for you, to give you every pleasure you want and need. You don’t need to be embarrassed. Just tell me how to make it good for you, honey.”
Patrick’s expression softened, and he bit back a smile. He rubbed circles on David’s back to calm him as much as he could before facing this HUGE misunderstanding head on.
“Okay, I think we’ve crossed wires. I wasn’t getting off on sharks, David. I was watching porn. When you walked in I panicked and changed the channel! Which was stupid, but it was a reflex I guess from being walked in on by... you know what? Never mind.”
“Oh. Thank god!”
“Hold on. You thought I was getting off to sharks? And instead of thinking I was a freak, you set up a whole night for me?” His emoji heart eyes were set on David, and he melted under the gaze.
“Maybe? I mean, I’d do anything for you.”
Patrick pulled him in for a kiss. “I love you, David. Now let’s make the most of this. Help me take off your shark panties so I can fuck your brains out.”
“That sounds perfect.”