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Functions not Assumptions

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Functions not Assumptions

Between the ages of eighteen and twenty-four, Byleth had had her own share of experiences that molded her into the person she was today… in the bedroom that is.

She was a horny teenager from time to time, canvassing the depths of the Internet late at night after her parents had gone to bed for steamy stories about her favorite video game characters that she had no business reading. What was a lemon? What was a lime? Could you really do that … with just spit? She learned things from those sordid reading adventures that she dare not breathe a word of to anyone.

There was also porn—which wasn’t the greatest sexual education resource. Wow, he got an erection pretty fast. Why were the girls always in such high heels? Condoms? No safe sex? What was wrong with these bizarre close-ups and these overly plumped up girls constantly screaming oh, daddy, yeah. And the guys, ew. Yeah, take daddy’s dick, girl. Gross. Oh well, she supposed she was informed.

Her sexual escapades in life didn’t start until she was eighteen. College finds her in bed with Claude. Now a long time friend and a one time embarrassing fling. He humps at her through her clothes and she can feel his erection poking her. No, not now. This was too soon … and Claude. She doesn’t really like him in that way. Maybe they should just be friends?

She buys her first dildo at nineteen. Isn’t quite sure how to use it and doesn’t get much pleasure from it. It just kind of goes … vroooommmm between her legs and she's confused. She kind of feels good, but nope. The cheap thing breaks on her two months after she buys it and she’s too embarrassed to go back and get another one.

Nineteen is the year she technically has sex for the first time. With Dorothea. Her roommate and first girlfriend. They date for three months. The sex is … weird. She isn’t quite sure what to do. They eat each other out, but it feels more like a cat is poking her with its tongue. That’s all well and good, but then Dorothea sticks a vibrator inside of her and it hurts. Take it out, take it out. Fuck. Never again. Maybe she wasn’t wet enough. Maybe they just need to stretch her out some more. No, fuck that. She never comes. Doesn’t know how to.

She has her first orgasm at the age of twenty-three. Perhaps she is late in life to this … but, it happens one night after she’s invested in a better vibrator and some time to herself. She clicks the damn thing off and blinks at it. Wow. Wow. So this is what she was missing with that other piece of garbage that she bought when she was still in college? Byleth giggles to herself like she’s discovered a secret all her own and clicks the vibrator back on. A little sore, but she can go again.

Another relationship later that year, with a man. She’s still trying to figure out which one she likes more. Men or women. …Or maybe she can like them both? Either way, he is emotionally hot and cold. Plays mind games at times, she doesn’t really know. They love each other, but he doesn’t ever listen to her. She rarely talks anyway. Maybe they hate each other. She doesn’t know. This is the first time she’s done something like this. Sometimes she likes the sex, sometimes she doesn’t. She doesn’t know if this is what it’s supposed to be like. She only really has one other sexual experience to go on from four years ago. Sometimes its love, sometimes its arguments. Eventually, she goes cold on him, they break things off. She can never come with him.

She thinks to herself, sex is sex. Neither good, nor bad. She doesn’t really need it. It’ll be there. If it comes her way again, that’s fine. Doesn’t matter anyway.

At twenty-five she meets Edelgard.

There’s a party at Dimitri’s place, something halfway between a birthday and Christmas celebration for him and everyone else invited. People are stuffing food in their mouths and she’s nursing a half full glass of wine in the shadows of the festivities. Edelgard apparently has the same idea with her glass of champagne.

She extends a hand in greeting and Byleth takes it. She introduces herself as Dimitri’s stepsister. Their parents are no longer together, but they grew up together, so it’s more of a formality to seek out the other when there’s a commemoration of some sort. Byleth drinks her wine and nods. She has no siblings to speak of; she has no idea what any of that is like. They spend the night observing the other partygoers together and form a bond of unspoken solidarity.

Perhaps vaguely enchanted, Edelgard asks her out for coffee during the week following the holidays when every day feels as if it's the same. Byleth takes her up on the offer and they talk about … well, life. Edelgard grew up in Enbarr, but moved to Fhirdiad when her parent’s divorced. Byleth has no hometown to speak of; her father moved them around far too much for her to consider anywhere home. Edelgard remarks how strange it must be to not have a place to call home and Byleth shrugs. She’s used to it by now.

Their courtship blooms into the spring and comes to a fever pitch in the heat of summer. Edelgard has been trying to seduce her for weeks with grand gestures. The bursting bouquets that litter her desk at work, the customary Friday night dinners, and childish custom playlists about girls kissing and being more than just friends—she feels like a teenager again.

It just sort of happens when they can’t stop looking at each other like lovesick fools. She finally pulls Edelgard into bed after they’ve stayed up all night drinking and acting stupid. It’s 6AM and the sun is already coming up again.

Edelgard had been saying things all night that soaked her panties in want, but when it comes time for the act, she’s… kind of just there again. Her hair in disarray and her hands on Edelgard’s head, she feels it, but it doesn’t come. Edelgard looks up at her and asks her if she should stop? Sure, they’re both tired. It was good though. Don’t worry.

She has a girlfriend now.

A girlfriend she should desire with every fiber of her being. A powerful woman who seems to know exactly what she wants and how she should take it. It isn’t quite love yet, maybe infatuation at this point. But her heart skips a beat whenever she feels those intense wisteria colored eyes pointing in her direction. A blush crosses her face as Byleth twiddles her fingers and waits for Edelgard at her train stop. There she is, a vision of perfection in red. She kisses Byleth on the lips, leaving traces of her powdery pink lipstick behind. A pull in the direction of the train station. Well, don't make me wait now.

They eat dinner and continue to binge some show on Netflix that Byleth had been interested in starting. Edelgard complains of mind rot after the sixth hour of this show and yawns—besides, it’s getting late. They should go to bed; they both have work in the morning.

Edelgard initiates that night. A hand in Byleth’s shorts and a wet kiss planted to the base of her neck. They tussle in bed, pulling hair and clothing as they go. Edelgard sinks her teeth into the juncture of Byleth’s neck and shoulder and sucks for longer than she should. El—what? She wasn’t getting carried away, was she?

Divested of her clothes, Byleth hovers for a minute above Edelgard’s mouth and hesitates. She’s not… too heavy is she? Edelgard’s hands are cradling her thighs, spreading her apart for a taste. Those eyes snap up to Byleth and she sinks her fingernails into Byleth’s skin as if to tell her to shut up and enjoy the ride. Byleth wraps her arms around the headboard and leans forward, but her mind wanders as it always does. She can feel Edelgard’s tongue prodding her, pulling at the folds of her vagina, sucking eagerly at her clit.

This should feel good, but her mind is starting to disconnect her from reality again. Maybe she’s feeling self conscious, maybe that’s the problem. Edelgard pulls away with a wet and satisfying sound and looks at Byleth, wondering if she’s enjoying this at all? She’s so quiet. Is she doing it wrong? She looks down at Edelgard and shakes her head.

No, no, it’s not you. It’s a hard position… my legs are starting to get tired. Maybe we should switch?

I’m good for now.

They had been watching some Korean movie that night where the lesbians don’t die—what a surprise—and Edelgard’s inspiration for the night replicates cinema as she lifts her legs over Byleth’s, connecting the two of them together at the hips, and ruts against her with such desperation that Byleth wonders if she’s going to be bruised in the morning.

It’s wet and Edelgard’s want turns her thighs sticky. She’s sinking her fingernails into the plump skin of Byleth’s ass, head thrown back on the pillows, her hair creating a halo of electrified ecstasy. Byleth leans forward to watch her girlfriend lose herself in the moment and grasps hold of her hand as she grinds harder against her, creating a rhythmic squelching sound that has Edelgard breathing harder than before.

Her toes are curling and she looks like she’s about to cry because she wants to come so badly. Byleth pulls her forward, grinding their clits harder and more forcefully and Edelgard throws her head to the side as if she’s trying to figure out if she should just give into the sensation or try and wait this out. It feels too damn good to let go now. A drop of sweat rolls down Byleth’s brow, she huffs, how she wishes she could say she felt the same.

Edelgard comes in a muffled groan and her chest is heaving from her previous ministrations. She sits up on her elbows, dazed in post orgasmic bliss and looks at Byleth who’s currently sprawled out on the opposite side of the bed. Did you …?

No. But it’s okay. Don’t worry.

It’s a quickie, they’re supposed to be meeting some friends of Edelgard’s down in the city and don’t have the time for anything more than Byleth sticking her hands into Edelgard’s panties and filling her up with three of her fingers for the next fifteen minutes.

She’s still got her clothes on, but Edelgard’s pants are hanging around her ankles somewhere, threatening to fall off the bed if she shifts just right. Byleth’s got Edelgard’s shirt pulled up to her neck, breasts out on full display. Sucking and licking her nipples with a satisfying pop, as she kisses her way across the alabaster skin. Edelgard’s breath hitches and she stutters out words that sound like more, please, faster, but Byleth can’t tell. Her mouth is agape and she’s turning her head from side to side, messing up her immaculately fashioned ponytail from earlier.  No, Byleth wants to go slow, she wants to enjoy the sight of this woman—this goddess—losing herself.

But they don’t have time. Byleth obliges when Edelgard puts a hand on hers, looks at her with eyes clouded with lust and pleads again. Please, Byleth. Who was she to refuse her lady? She kisses Edelgard’s forehead, licks the drops of perspiration covered there and hums. Yes, of course.

Edelgard moans her name in the form of a broken mantra, clutches the pillow behind her head, and her hips lift off the bed with Byleth following her. She calms down and stares at Byleth, kissing her roughly as she tries to flip herself on top of the other woman and reciprocate. Her pants have fallen to the floor now. Byleth takes in the disheveled woman trying to open the top button to her jeans and puts a hand to her wrist. Edelgard looks at her, affronted. She glances at the clock, we have time. Ten minutes at best. Byleth shakes her head and gives her that soft reserved smile.

No, we have to go meet your friends … and besides, you should change. You smell of sex.

Edelgard presses up behind her while she’s doing dishes in the kitchen. A kiss to the side of her neck, a nibble on her ear. She presses her hips into Byleth’s and the blue haired woman startles. What… is that pressing against her ass? She almost breaks a glass as Edelgard stands on her tippy toes and runs a hand along her rear. Got a surprise for you.

Edelgard is above her, hands gripping at her knees as she slides her legs apart. Byleth is pushed into the pillows, staring up at her girlfriend as she brings the faux phallus into view. She shakes it at her, grinning like a devious child. Byleth wants to laugh at how silly she’s being right now. Let’s try something new, shall we?

She leans forward and pushes Byleth back. Gentle, it’s been awhile since she’s had one of … these. Edelgard understands and preps her before the main event. She takes her time between Byleth’s legs, peppering her thighs with kisses and sucking so tenderly at her center that she actually hears Byleth moan for once. That was new. She reaches two fingers into Byleth, hooks them and pulls gently against the wall of her vagina. Byleth just feels like she has to pee.

Edelgard fingerfucks her for a little while, thumb on her clit making slow deliberate circles in an effort to warm the other woman up. She removes her fingers, massages the tacky wetness into her skin and licks it. Byleth shudders at the look she’s giving her. Sweet with the tang of musk. Delicious.

She prods the head of the fake cock in, stretching Byleth gently before she tries thrusting in again. Leaning forward, she drapes herself over Byleth, kissing her gently on the nose. She pushes into Byleth again, muscles giving way so that she’s buried at the hilt. Byleth takes in the feeling of fullness and sighs. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? Edelgard takes one gentle hand and places it on her face. Hey, look at me. Is this okay? This is fine.

Edelgard resumes her slow thrusting motion and Byleth’s arms come to hook around her bare shoulders searching for something to hold onto. Her legs hike up and Edelgard grabs the toned calves with firm hands locking her into place. The flaxen haired woman searches Byleth’s face for some type of reaction. She’s always so quiet, so reserved during sex when it’s focused on her. What’s wrong? Maybe she just needed a little encouragement to let go.

Edelgard snaps her hips down and hikes Byleth’s legs up further. She’s picking up speed and Byleth can feel her head gracing the wood of the headboard. Oh, there … it is. Again. Her mind is wandering and not focused on the moment. What is she supposed to do? What is she supposed to feel? It feels good but she can’t …do it. Edelgard grabs her ass and lifts her up to an angle that allows her to go deeper and she whimpers when a thumb comes down on her clit. I want you to come tonight. I want you to let go. Ah, so she did notice her aversion to this kind of thing. She wants to come too, God, how desperately she wants that. But, this isn’t working.

Edelgard is driving into her with such force that it knocks the wind from her lungs and makes her head hurt. The hand on her clit lifts and Edelgard is trying to drive Byleth’s own hand between her legs. Touch yourself, come on, I want to see you. The words make her wetter, but they don’t work. She opens her eyes and stares at the wall over Edelgard’s shoulder. El this She has a feeling that they should stop.

Come on, By. Come on. Edelgard isn’t stopping and Byleth’s starting to get more frustrated when her own touch doesn’t seem to help take her over that hump. It’s like an itch she can’t scratch, a goal she can’t reach. She feels Edelgard’s sweat drop across her skin, she’s working so hard and Byleth just can’t do it...

Frustrated tears prick at the corners of her eyes and she tries to reach out to Edelgard. Stop. She’s sweating so much and her hips are starting to get tired from the forceful pounding of Edelgard on top of her. Her head hits the pillow and she puts her hands on Edelgard’s shoulders. El, please stop. But, Edelgard doesn’t. She’s trying to kiss her now, distract her with something. Edelgard. STOP.

Edelgard stops in fear that she may have taken things too far from the sudden outburst from Byleth. Byleth sounds like she’s wheezing from how fast she’s breathing. The woman beneath her, fuck, is she crying? Oh, fuck. She wasn’t ready for this was she? Edelgard pulls back and allows Byleth to sit up, but neither of them say anything. In the darkness of the room, silence reins between them and Edelgard places a gentle hand on her wrist. She’s sorry; she didn’t know … we can stop this right now.

She gets up off the bed and Byleth doesn’t even watch her retreating form as she pulls the offending toy off her hips and places it in some aforementioned part of the bedroom. Byleth turns over and stretches out along the length of the bed, back to Edelgard and her face buried in the pillow that’s drenched with sweat. She feels the other woman slide up against her backside and kiss her shoulder as she slides an arm around her stomach to pull her close. I’m sorry. I pushed you too far, didn’t I? Are you okay? Edelgard feels her shaking, hears her shallow breathing and she’s worried. Byleth quickly shakes her head and closes her eyes. That wasn’t a panic attack—it was—she just wants to forget this right now and go to sleep.

It’s not your fault. …It’s not … your fault.

Byleth is tired and Edelgard has questions. She wants to address … the topic of trauma? Trauma? What trauma?

Byleth fidgets under her gaze and she supposes they should talk about this. But, do they really have to talk about this? She stares into her cup of tea and doesn’t meet Edelgard’s eyes as she begins with the standard. No eating disorders? Hang ups about her body? Cause she’s fucking hot and Edelgard will do everything in her power to convince her of this.

Byleth shakes her head, somewhat agitated. Of course not. Has she seen Byleth? The woman will eat just about anything. And her physique? Why would she ruin such a precious thing by starving herself?

Edelgard nods in understanding. Of course not. She seems to be struggling with her next line of questioning… asks her if she has any form of sexual trauma she should know about—don’t all women? Puberty had endowed her with breasts befitting a grown woman at too early an age. The leering of men found her too early in life and she had hated it at first. It was protection she had to hone with age. Reconcile that her childhood body was taken away sooner than she was ready for. That’s understandable… is there … anything else?

No… well. Maybe. There was that cousin—always a cousin, isn’t it—that groped her boobs and tried to kiss her once. She leaves out the part where he brushed his erection across her backside during a family function; some secrets are best kept to oneself.

There was also that boyfriend who was too rough at times. She thought she could handle it. It turned her on from time to time, but the more she thought about it in her later years, the more ... she thinks that perhaps it was something else. Something more sinister. It was a relationship that still confounded her until this day. Was it assault? Probably not, at least she doesn’t think so. But she should have laid out clearer boundaries. No use trying to change the past, though. It wasn’t that important.

What of Edelgard? She too has her secrets. Gawking men that thought they owned her, an uncle with a perverted fixation. It’s always the same story, isn’t it? But it doesn’t bother her. She can reach sexual gratification with a partner just fine. But, Byleth …

Byleth shakes her head. It’s fine. It feels good. It doesn’t matter if she can’t come with a partner. None of her previous ones really cared about it so she shouldn't either. But Edelgard does. And they were going to work on it, no matter how long it took. Byleth just sips her tea and doesn’t meet Edelgard’s eyes. It’s not going to happen. She wishes she would stop trying.

After the events of the previous night, Edelgard suggests a safe word. Would … that help things? Byleth isn’t so sure. It’s not the sex that bothers her. It’s …something else. They establish one anyway and it’s so stupid, Byleth probably won’t use it anyway. Penis.

Edelgard suggests a night where they just focus on her pleasure for the night. No pressure of reciprocation, no worrying about her partner’s needs. Just her. Byleth supposes it will work, but it’s also unnerving with having the entire focus on just her.

Her head is propped up on the pillow and Edelgard’s got her legs in each of her hands. She spreads them, settles down on her elbows and looks up at Byleth. Please, relax. I want to do this for you. Byleth nods and looks to the ceiling of her bedroom. I know, but… Edelgard leans forward, plants a kiss on one thigh. And then another. Fingers massaging gentle circles into her skin. Relax, please.

She closes her eyes and tries to focus on the feeling. Edelgard’s silky hair over her thighs, the feeling of her tongue twisting around her clit and sucking ever so gently, those small and powerful hands running up and down her legs. Byleth feels exposed. What if she tastes weird today from that pineapple and beet salad she had for lunch? Does it smell? How can Edelgard willingly do this for her? She’s still so stiff and Edelgard grabs at her thigh, pulling one leg to rest on her shoulder. Edelgard starts kissing her thighs again, slow and deliberate. Her tongue is replaced by fingers. One at first, then two. Slowly going in and out as she delves forward to start eating again. How hungry could one woman be? 

Byleth thinks she feels a quirk in her muscles, but the feeling fades at soon as it comes. She looks down at Edelgard and can see the other woman looking back up her with such a searing look that Byleth has to quickly avert her eyes. Ten minutes turn into twenty… turn into thirty … and … fuck. Isn’t Edelgard getting tired? She places a gentle hand on Edelgard’s head and the other woman looks up at her, mouth wet with Byleth’s juices and her pupil’s dilated. Oh, that is hot, but. Byleth shakes her head. She’s not feeling it. She …well, she felt it a little. Does she want to stop? Yes. It’s starting to get sore.

That’s okay. They turn off the lights and curl up in bed. She felt something at least. Let’s try again later.

She’s slumped over on Edelgard’s bed, pain radiating from the middle of her stomach when Edelgard suggests they try one of the greatest sexual taboos of all time—period sex. Byleth’s eyes widen and she vehemently shakes her head. No, there was no way she was letting her anywhere near her vagina with the current state it was in. Nonsense, Byleth, don't be so repressed.

But it’s so messy. And what if they ruin Edelard’s pristine white sheets? They have something called towels. And so what, she could buy new ones. Now go take a shower and make yourself presentable. You’re in pain and I want to make you feel good tonight.

Byleth shyly stumbles into the bedroom that night, a dark towel wrapped around her waist and Edelgard is waiting for her on the bed. She beckons her forward and gestures for her to get on the bed. Is it okay if they use the strap-on again? Okay. She doesn’t want a repeat of last time. Remember the safe word, right? Byleth wants to change it and Edelgard tells her no.

Sighing, she let’s the towel fall around her and Edelgard sets to work. A gentle warm up of kisses and sweet caresses. Everything is a little sore… and heavy right now. Please don’t bite my nipples; they’re sensitive right now and my tits fucking hurt. Sorry.

Edelgard gently prods her and removes her finger, a mixture of blood and Byleth’s natural lubricant. It’s like double the fun right now. Oh, my God, this is embarrassing. She smiles cheekily at her and pushes the head of the strap-on in and Byleth winces. All she can think about is her swollen womb full of blood, and how everything feels ten times more sensitive than usual. Edelgard is soft though, deliberate in her motions. Always checking in to make sure she’s feeling okay. Slow thrusts eventually pick up speed again and Byleth is … oddly turned on by all of this. Somewhere, she remembers hearing that women get hornier on their periods. Maybe science was right.

She looks down at the junction of where her and Edelgard’s bodies meet and doesn’t know if she should be horrified or turned on. There’s blood everywhere. Edelgard’s porcelain hips are splattered with streaks of bright red; signs of her menses painted over her thighs and is that blood on El’s cheek? Byleth feels her face heat up in both embarrassment and pleasure. There’s something intrinsically carnal to this act. Everything is painted red and Edelgard looks like a barbarian, laying claim to her woman right now. She does feel … nice though. And the cramps seem to be less of a problem than they were earlier. Edelgard checks in, You okay? Anything hurt? She shakes her head, she feels more than okay. Byleth … Byleth kind of likes this.

She leans forward to latch onto Edelgard and pull her forward on top of her, pressing their sweaty breasts together. Fuck me, El. Oh, was that a mood swing or the real Byleth speaking? Edelgard is happy to oblige, smearing Byleth’s blood all over her white sheets with her hands. She’s still sore, but it feels good. And Byleth is more vocal than she’s ever been right now. Maybe this is it, maybe they’ll get over the hump tonight and she’ll finally achieve nirvana.

Edelgard eases her hips up to change the angle of penetration and Byleth winces slightly. She grips onto the other woman’s shoulders, finding her mind … not distracted for once, but. Nope. Wait. Fuck. No, focus on Edelgard right now. Focus on the sensation of her sliding in and out of you like this. Focus on the unspeakable act you’re committing right now. Focus on the wet sounds of her thighs slapping against your ass, focus on… focus on … Byleth? Focus. Her head hurts.

But she feels something…  she thinks. Small pulses of nothing. Edelgard is still humping her when Byleth tiredly taps her shoulder and tells her that’s enough for tonight. Edelgard looks at her—did it happen? No…but that was really nice. She looks down at the towel below them and the sheets that spread out from under it. Oh god, there’s so much blood. I’m sorry about the sheets.

She falls over and buries her forehead in Edelgard’s shoulder as the other woman strokes her hair. El, we should go take a shower.

Edelgard is away visiting her family for the weekend and Byleth lies in the darkness of her bed at night, staring off into nothing. Her phone rings at 1:43AM. Why is she still awake? Can’t sleep? What are you doing? Edelgard’s husky voice asks her from 2000 miles away. Lying awake. Thinking of nothing. Thinking of nothing, huh? What are you wearing right now?

Byleth is slow on the uptake and answers her question honestly. Just a pair of boy shorts. It’s hot tonight and the fan isn’t cooling her down at all. Oh, so you’re hot, huh? Yes. It’s very hot. Oh my god, Byleth. Edelgard changes her approach. What would you be doing if I were there right now? Probably cooking us dinner or watching a movie. Maybe playing video games. Sleeping. Edelgard huffs again. She was so dense at times.

Have you played with yourself today? Oh, that’s what she was going for. Hornball. Byleth chuckles and shakes her head. No. Why? Is that what she would be doing if Edelgard were there right now instead of biding her time in Enbarr? Of course, Byleth. That’s one of my favorite things to do in the world. To play with you. Yeah? What else do you like playing with? What would you be doing right now if you were here? Byleth hesitantly parts the band to her underwear and places two fingers between her legs. Edelgard continues.

I’d start with your neck, that sensitive spot beneath your ear. Oh. Yeah? What else? Your arms pinned above your head, holding you down on the bed. One finger slips in, still dry. I’d kiss you until your lips are bruised. Another finger, a little more wet. Spread your legs with one knee and grind into you. Oh, yeah. This was getting better. I’d push your shirt up to your breasts, exposing your bra and lavish your nipples with the attention they so willingly desire. She did like having her breasts played with. Sucked on, licked, massaged. Byleth turns over in bed, hand still in her shorts, drops the phone and puts it on speaker. She presses her face into the pillow, her imagination running wild as Edelgard continues. Did she hear a hitch in breath on the other side of the line?

What are you doing Byleth? Touching myself. Touching myself wishing it was you. That’s good, that’s very good. What am I doing? You’re… you’re… Come on, By, tell me what you want me to do. You’ve got my panties in your mouth, using your teeth to pull them off my legs. You smack my ass and tell me to lay down. Uh-huh? And then … then you … What comes next? You dip your head between my legs, tongue pressed flat against my clit. Taking me whole, making me yours. Your sucking on me so hard, I tell you it’s too much. But you don’t stop. Your fingers are hooking into me, pushing deeper into the wetness that surrounds you. Don't stop tell me more.

I want more. I need more. Byleth presses her forehead into the pillow, feeling sweat gathering at her temples. I need more, I need all of you. In me, around me. Taking me, making me yours. It’s so wet and it’s so warm in here. My legs are giving out, but you’re spreading me further. Your tongue focusing on the most sensitive parts of me that I feel … I feel… What do you feel? I feel you. Fucking me, loving me, filling me up with something that I’ve never felt before. I can feel it coming. Don’t stop, By. Please don’t stop. I don’t want to. I don’t want you to. Please. Don’t. Stop.

Edelgard goes quiet at the sounds of breathy, uncontrolled whimpers coming from the other end of the phone. Oh, those sounds. Those wonderful, wonderful sounds. She wants to hear them in person, see them in person. Byleth, completely spent on her bed and unable to move. She’s even more intrigued when she hears the whimpers turn into desperate vocalizations and a soft fuck comes from Byleth’s end of the phone. She sounds like she’s in pain, but knows that’s far from the truth. It felt that good, huh? That was it, wasn’t it?

Byleth feels dazed and unsure of where she is at the moment. She blinks, slowly, enjoying the haze that comes in the aftermath of an orgasm. She heard someone calling her name. Byleth. Who was that? Where was she? Let her catch her breath for a minute. She looks dreamily up for the source of the offending sound and blinks. Oh, it’s her phone. Byleth? That was Edelgard’s voice. Was she on the phone … oh. Wait.

Byleth, did you just She glances at the phone, makes a desperate embarrassed squeak—I … I gotta go—and ends the phone call before Edelgard can say anything else. She presses her reddened face into her pillow and pulls her hand out of underwear.


Edelgard has heard it and she wants to hear it again.

Byleth is a frazzled and embarrassed mess as her girlfriend expresses her yearning to replicate that phone call from last weekend. You sounded so relaxed. So free. So good. Please stop talking about it. Edelgard slaps her ass in defiance. She’s going to see it. Now that she knows Byleth can do it, she’s going to make her come one of these nights.

Byleth goes out that weekend with Dimitri and Claude for a … guy’s night?  A straight man and a bisexual. After she’s good and inebriated, she asks them about questions that has Dimitri blushing and Claude double over in raucous laughter. She thinks she’s being coy, but they both know she’s talking about her sex life with Edelgard. Dimitri doesn’t want to hear about the sex life of his stepsister. Byleth seems oblivious to this as she continues with her onslaught of questions. Have they ever been with a girl who couldn’t… you know?

Claude tells her that female anatomy is just different, every girl is different. Guys just kinda stick their dicks into things, hammer away and pop, achievement unlocked. Byleth wrinkles her nose in disgust and Dimitri tries to explain things more eloquently. You should warm your lady up. Address her with undying adulation. Byleth sticks her tongue out at his response, which sounds like some type of overly romantic Shakespearean nonsense. Maybe she should ask… other people.

Lesbians. She’ll ask lesbians. 

She’s sitting with Dorothea and Petra, the other vaguely lesbianish couple in their friend group. Should it be awkward because she and Dorothea dated for … what, three months when they were teenagers? Nah, she’s gone on to other things. That’s all water under the bridge.

Dorothea has her hand on Petra’s ass as they sit huddled up together in a booth. Byleth just stares at the two of them throw themselves at one another in public. They looked like they were about to fuck right in front of her. She grasps her beer in her hands and takes a long, hard swig. Could you two calm down for two seconds so I can ask you some questions? Sure, By, what’s on your mind? It’s about …orgasms.

She feels a little more confident talking to other woman about her “issues” with Edelgard in the bedroom. She assumes they’ll be a little more sensitive to her needs. Dorothea listens intently as Petra drinks her cocktail in silent contemplation. So… you’re having trouble coming? Is that it? What about masturbation? Can you get yourself off? Okay, so it’s just with Edelgard that you’re having trouble? Well, there’s a simple solution, silly. Byleth looks up from her beer. And that is…?

A mental block, Petra tells her. She’s so focused on trying to enjoy the moment that she doesn’t listen to what’s going on in her body. Perhaps she’s afraid of telling her partner what she needs, what she wants. What feels good? What doesn’t? Any kinks she’s hiding in there that she doesn’t want Edelgard to know? Byleth shyly looks down at her beer and doesn’t mention the period sex from a few weeks ago. That was hot; she didn’t want to admit it to herself. Dorothea leans in to kiss Petra on the cheek and calls her a genius for her somewhat obvious deductions.

Experiment, Byleth. You’ll get there.

It’s all in your head. You just have to let go.

They try something new and get handcuffs; perhaps she needs to relinquish control. Edelgard locks her in on the side of the headboard and Byleth … doesn’t really like this at all. This is too confining. She wiggles uncomfortably and Edelgard notices her discomfort. Are they too tight? No. It’s not that. She tells Edelgard to continue, she should try to see what this would be like at least.

Edelgard’s got the strap on again and she’s rubbing it against her entrance, getting it nice and slick before she penetrates her. Byleth’s eyes are anywhere but on Edelgard’s face. They’re looking at that picture, the one El drew of her, that she got framed at the art gallery last week. The resemblance is uncanny, even though Edelgard was beyond embarrassed when she found it lying around on the coffee table in her apartment one afternoon. Why doesn’t she think she’s a worthy artist? Her drawings are beautiful.

Edelgard pushes into her a little rough at first, as if to draw her attention back to the task at hand. Her wrists pull at the handcuffs in response. Is something wrong? She asks again. Byleth shakes her head. Nope. …Although. Her eyes careen back to her curtains and she starts thinking again. She should get new curtains. Her current ones are pretty old. She stole them from her dad’s place when she first moved out here and they weren’t really … to her liking anyway—OW.

Edelgard notices her distraction, again. Byleth, would you pay attention. She is, she swears she’s focused on her girlfriend’s big fake dick in her vagina. She promises. Edelgard lifts her legs over her shoulders and Byleth’s head careens backwards, off the bed. The angle is kind of painful, her arms are being pulled one way and her head is pushed to the other. Oh, her phone is ringing. Who could that be? It’s her dad calling. Not a good time, dad.

Edelgard growls again, reaching an arm under her neck and pulling her up onto the bed again. Byleth, if you’re not going to cooperate, I swear. What is she going to do?

She pulls her back so that her body is completely on the bed. Really, giving up control seemed to be frustrating Edelgard more than it did her at this point. Edelgard spreads her legs again and settles between them. Slide in, thrust … thrust. She glances at the handcuffs. They’re pulling at her wrists again, creating angry red indentations that hurt. She doesn’t feel any different. This is just annoying.

Byleth’s eyes go up to the handcuffs again and then back to Edelgard. You don’t like it, do you? She shakes her head. No. Not in the least. Edelgard sighs in frustration and looks for the key that they had haphazardly thrown on the nightstand. She massages her wrists once they’re free.

Back to the drawing board.

Edelgard comes out of the shower and asks her if she can watch Byleth masturbate one night. No. That’s… too personal.

Edelgard looks at her incredulously. Really? So she could fuck her brains out on her period, but watching her touch herself was too personal? Maybe Edelgard is staring to get tired of trying. Byleth knows that she is. It’s exhausting to have someone put so much effort into helping her achieve this one thing and it seems she keeps trying to fight them at every turn.

Edelgard gets into her side of the bed, turns her back and tells Byleth good night. No kiss goodnight, no ridiculous flirtations that have them giggling like idiots well into the night. She calls to her, El but Edelgard doesn’t turn around. I said goodnight, Byleth. Oh, she was pissed. Byleth folds the page on her book and looks down at the woman at her side. Was Edelgard truly not good enough? No, this was her problem. She was trying. Maybe it’s just too much… to get out of her mind. To fix this mental block.

She sighs, turns out the light on her side of the bed and settles into the sheets. A few moments pass and Edelgard shifts in the sheets. Why won’t you let me do this for you? Comes her voice from the other side of the bed. Byleth has no explanation. She just, doesn’t think … doesn’t know why someone would care that much to make sure she gets her fill, too. She’s always been like this. Doing more for others than looking after herself. She’s extended it to all corners of her life, why not the bedroom as well? Edelgard sighs in frustration, still not turning around. You’re worthy, you’re so damn worthy and you can’t even see it. Stop being so passive and stoic and let someone do something good for you for once.

Edelgard’s words make their mark and she rolls over in bed to spoon her. Please, we shouldn’t go to bed angry at one another. Edelgard sighs again in irritation and turns around to kiss this seemingly dimwitted woman that she was in love with. No sex that night, but they go to sleep curled up in a tight and messy ball.

Byleth reaches a compromise.

She’ll let Edelgard watch her … but she has to wear this blindfold. Edelgard looks like she wants to punch her for being so ridiculous, but resigns herself to wearing the offending fabric over her eyes. Maybe this is the first step in breaking the mental hold?

She sits in a chair opposite the bed, listening to the rustling sounds of Byleth removing her clothing and the sinking sound of the bed beneath her weight. It’s quiet save for the sound of panties sliding down legs, Byleth reclining on the bed, the poof of the pillow. She’s quiet at first, hears the distinctive sound of something wet and Byleth’s soft groan. If only she could see it, as well. What is she doing? Going slow? Where is she touching herself right now? Oh, that … sounds really wet and it sounded like Byleth had rolled over? Edelgard licks her dry lips and … maybe breaks the compromise just a tiny bit. She lifts the blindfold, only a little bit and feels her heartbeat quicken.

Byleth is turned over, feet arched and legs bent, with a hand between her legs and her face buried in the pillow. Her feet push back on the sheets on the bed as she presses her hips down into her hands. Edelgard follows the curve of her ass up to the hair obscuring her face. She can hear those wanton sounds of need, of desire. She’s fucking beautiful. Why can’t she see it? Edelgard’s eyes travel back down to the fingers between her girlfriend’s legs and starts making mental notes. Slow. She likes it slow, huh? Byleth is rocking against her hands as her fingers keep disappearing inside her. In and out, in and out. She removes them, plays with the clit for a bit with slow circles—can’t ignore that—before dipping her fingers back into herself again.

For a second, Byleth turns her head to the side to look behind her and Edelgard catches the look of pure lust on her features. Wild, uncontrolled, free. She actually looks truly relaxed for one second of her life and Edelgard has never seen something so perfect before in her life. Exposed, needy. Her shoulders heave slightly and she’s tightening up. No, she’s not close… she’s angry.

Fuck. Edelgard sees something akin to rage flash in Byleth’s eyes and realizes that she has indeed broken the magic of the moment. Byleth stops touching herself when she realizes Edelgard is looking at her. This is new; she’s never seen this expression on Byleth’s face before. She’s fucking pissed. Edelgard broke the promise, she ruined the moment. Her name tumbles out of Byleth’s mouth, accusatory and furious, as she sits up and turns around to face her. What did she think she was doing? She promised she wouldn’t watch.

Edelgard pushes the blindfold off her face and lets it drop to the floor. She begins to unbutton her shirt, her bra, removes her skirt and just stares at Byleth. Byleth looks like she wants to attack her, like she hates her for ruining what was hers. Edelgard doesn’t like seeing her so upset. Edelgard gets on the bed, still in her panties and pushes Byleth back even when the other woman tries to resist her. No, let’s continue.

Byleth doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want Edelgard’s hands on her in any capacity right now. This moment was hers and she took it away and turned it into… Byleth, please. You were there. I saw it. Just pretend that I’m not here. And how was she supposed to do that? She turns away from Edelgard and presses her face into the pillow. Edelgard clasps her hand over Byleth’s, reaches it gently back between her legs and prods. Byleth, it’s okay. Stop getting lost in your head. She’s refusing to move her hand even when Edelgard tries to. You don’t need anyone’s permission to feel good. Just do this for yourself, okay. Don’t do it for me. Do it for you.

When Byleth doesn’t move, Edelgard takes it upon herself to finish what Byleth started. She wants to hear those sounds again. She wants to see her free again. She reaches her own hand down between Byleth’s legs. So you don’t feel worthy of release? Why? Byleth tries to ignore the feeling of Edelgard’s fingers between her legs, but she’s too wet—too stimulated. Edelgard nips at that spot behind her ear and she shudders. Edelgard speaks to her.

God, you’re so wet right now. Oh. She was going so slow right now. Feeling every part of her. No need to rush, they had all the time in the world. Edelgard inhales her scent and presses another chaste kiss to her cheek. Byleth feels her breasts press up against her back and Edelgard reaching around her chest to play with one of her nipples. I love your breasts. They’re so soft. She grabs one breast in her hands, massaging, rolling. I love it even more when you’re on your back and I can watch them swaying as I fuck you. Fuck, why did she know what to say? She can’t stay angry, fucking. Byleth feels herself sinking onto Edelgard’s fingers, so slow and methodical. Her hand slides around Byleth’s clit, running it between her index and middle fingers, What do you need, Byleth, tell me.

She needs… she needs to come. She needs to stop holding onto all this tension in her body. She needs a fucking release. She’s always needed the fucking release. I want to hear you again. Edelgard whispers into her ear. So low and heavy she just might burst. She opens her legs willingly and Edelgard delves a little deeper. She can hear it. How freaking wet she’s become. I want to hear you. I want to see you come. Can you do that for me, Byleth? N---Yes. Yes. She wanted to. She wants to so badly.

Edelgard picks up her pace, sucking on her neck now as she continues the gentle prodding between her legs. She wants more and she doesn’t know how to get it. Her head careens back and Edelgard makes space for it as she settles her chin on Byleth’s shoulder and continues to finger her at the same speed. Please, El, I need more.

Edelgard peers down at her fingers disappearing into her girlfriend over and over again. Byleth is straining against her touch, her shoulders shaking and her breath growing unsteady. That’s it. Just focus on me, inside you. Taking you, claiming you as my own. She rolls slightly onto her back so that Byleth is hovering slightly above her on her side. One leg lifted off the bed, the other tangled between Edelgard’s own. Her bottom lip is quivering and she’s breathing so fast, Edelgard might come herself just watching her.

El, fuck. El. I’m going to. You need to stop. I’m going to… Her own hands come down to try and still Edelgard’s hand, but they’re grabbed in a rough hold and bound at the wrist. No, you’re going to come tonight. Edelgard whispers into her ear. She can hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears and against the rib cage. Byleth open her eyes, feeling water well up in the corners as she turns her head to look at Edelgard. Edelgard is staring directly into her soul right now and she has never felt so vulnerable before in her life. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She throws her head back as she crests at the peak. Her voice breaks and Edelgard can only smile as she feels Byleth clamp down hard on her fingers and her shoulders arch back, her neck completely exposed. She rolls over, trying to seemingly escape Edelgard’s grasp. But her hand follows, milking Byleth for all it’s worth. Byleth let’s out another sound between pain and pleasure. Edelgard loves it. Let me hear more. It’s too sensitive, please stop touching me. Another ripple from between her legs. No, please keep touching me. Fuck.

She whimpers and rolls into a ball, the world dissolving around her. She can’t focus on anything, her mouth has gone dry. Everything feels like it’s spinning. She’s sweaty and her hair is sticking to her face. Why is it so hot in here? She feels Edelgard’s fingers slip out from her and a chaste kiss being pressed to the side of temple. Good girl. A hand is rubbing her ass, ghosts over her one more time. Please don’t touch me there, I can’t take anymore. She closes her eyes as she tries to catch her breath. She feels like she’s going to pass out.

Edelgard pulls the sheets over her shoulders and settles in beside her, running a gentle hand along her arm as she tries to recover from post-coital daze. Her eyes are still glazed and unfocused as she stares at the wall. That was it. Why had she forbidden herself to receive that from someone for so damn long? Edelgard calls to her and she can barely focus on her voice. Is she okay? Byleth nods her head slowly, the inability to do anything else. Does she want to talk? Byleth slowly shakes her head again and Edelgard seems satisfied with that answer.

The light clicks off on the nightstand beside her and Edelgard spoons up beside her. Her eyes are wet. Why was she crying? Is she really okay? Shhh, it’s okay. I got you. She can’t explain the emotion she feels right now. It’s good. It’s really good. Like a release of everything inside of her falling into the universe and settling perfectly in this very moment. She falls asleep to Edelgard stroking her hair and murmuring gently into her ear.

In the morning she wakes up to Edelgard drooling on her shoulder and chuckles. She gently untangles herself from the embrace to go to the bathroom. Jeez, she looked wrecked. She splashes water on her face and notes the stickiness of her body. …Maybe she should wake Edelgard for a shower?

She returns to the bedroom and takes in the scene from the previous night. Edelgard’s clothes on the floor, the blindfold haphazardly tossed amongst the cloth. She walks over to the pile and picks it up, fingering the silky fabric. This was her undoing. Edelgard stirs just as she sees Byleth, naked as the day she was born, playing with the blindfold and asks her what in the world she was doing.

Byleth takes it off and just smiles down at the woman. This wonderful, gorgeous woman that she gets to share a bed with … night after night after night. She doesn’t say anything, just let’s the offending item drop back to the floor and climbs back into bed. She settles down next to Edelgard and plays with a piece of her hair. Edelgard watches her hair fall from Byleth’s fingers and smirks. Why are you in such a good mood this morning? A rhetorical question. Byleth just smiles at her and doesn’t say anything. She presses a kiss to her lips and climbs over Edelgard who doesn’t resist.

She has a favor to return. Edelgard slaps her shoulder as Byleth disappears underneath the sheets and spreads her legs. The first is a kiss to her belly button, I adore you. Next, her hip, I love you. Finally settling before Edelgard’s core, Thank you.

Edelgard sighs in bliss, her head pressing back into the pillows as the woman between her legs continues her ministrations. What a long road they had walked to get to this point. She eyes Byleth as her blue head comes poking out of the sheets. Say, El, what do you want for breakfast? You. Edelgard replies without a second thought. Byleth smiles and disappears back under the sheets.

She could accommodate that request.

After Edelgard had her fill of course.

Thank you.