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Stay Up ‘Til Sunrise

Chapter 2: Allow me to meet you again, as someone new

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For a while, Feng Xi found himself wandering in and out of true, oblivious sleep. There was no way of telling how long he spent in that state, with his waking moments interspersed with half-concocted dreams that slipped away as soon as he tried to grasp them. It was still preferable to awareness though, so he clung to it for as long as he could, until at some point he woke again and his mind simply refused to drift off anymore.

 

Once again, he was blinded by light upon awakening. He instinctively held up a hand to shield his eyes, but the effort proved futile since his body was still near-transparent. Wu Xian’s spirit realm was still the same vast emptiness beyond the house’s immediate premise, and the whiteness of the space gleamed through the ghostly flesh of his palm. It made for an eerie image and Feng Xi put his hand down quickly. That was not a sight he wanted to dwell on.

 

He glanced around his surroundings with a frown, wearily noting that nothing seemed to have changed since the last time he was fully conscious. Despite having just slept for another indeterminate length of time, he still felt worn to the bone, and he would likely have attempted to go right back to sleep had he not picked up on a series of soft, steady ‘thumps.’

 

Feng Xi was instantly on the alert. The sound was coming from outside the house, and they came at a measured, almost rhythmic pace. Feng Xi’s heart seemed to seize as the sounds draw closer, and his tongue suddenly felt heavy and leaden in his mouth. In his days on the run, he had listened for the sound of footsteps far too often to be mistaken, and here in this spirit realm there was only one person they could belong to.

 

He must know I’m here already, Feng Xi thought. He felt like he was running short of air, the panic threatening to drown him like a wave. He could run, but what was the point of running? His range of motion was limited anyway, and he had nowhere to hide. This was Wu Xian’s spirit realm after all, and as much as he hated the thought, he was powerless here, utterly at the mercy of the Guild’s most powerful executor. Here, Wu Xian could do anything he wanted to Feng Xi without even lifting a finger.

 

So, all Feng Xi could do was wait. Judging by the sound of his footsteps, Wu Xian had already arrived at the threshold of the house. Feng Xi could hear the door latch rattle. He watched helplessly as the latch slid out of place and the door swung open, almost in slow motion, to reveal the owner of the spirit realm. He was almost exactly as Feng Xi remembers him from Long You—the same blue and white hanfu and metal armbands, the same long, loose tail of hair, the same placid expression as if nothing in the mortal world could touch him. It was only when the human locks eyes with Feng Xi that his impeccable demeanor seemed to crack, as if he were genuinely surprised, but the expression was gone again before Feng Xi could be certain of anything.

 

Wu Xian’s eyes are dark green and bottomless, and his stare seemed to pin Feng Xi in place just like the executor’s scrap metal cuffs. After a pause, Wu Xian took one step towards Feng Xi, then another, never once breaking eye contact until he was so close that the elfin could hear every one of his careful, measured breaths.

 

“Tell me the truth. Are you really Feng Xi?” When Wu Xian finally spoke up, his voice was uncharacteristically clipped. His eyes were unreadable, and that made Feng Xi instinctively uncomfortable. Feng Xi’s ability to read people had been one of his greatest skills, and though they had not interacted much before Long You, Wu Xian had always been fairly easy to interpret. It was the first time Feng Xi had found himself unable to follow what the human was thinking.

 

“I really am Feng Xi,” he says slowly, all the while monitoring Wu Xian’s expression for the slightest changes. The human had narrowed his eyes slightly upon Feng Xi’s answer, as if he had expected the response but was not satisfied by it.

 

“And you are alive?” Wu Xian insisted after a moment.

 

“Well, I’m conscious and can move, so I guess I am.”

 

How?

 

“I feel like I should be the one asking you this question,” Feng Xi snapped, folding his arms across his chest. Wu Xian’s sudden unpredictability was unnerving, and Feng Xi could feel the nervous energy welling up within him, rising to the surface disguised as anger. “Isn’t this your own spirit realm? You should know better than me whether I’m really alive or not, and how.”

 

Wu Xian just blinked. His expression did not change at all. “I can barely sense your presence even though you’re in my spirit realm,” he said at last. “I thought…I couldn’t rule out the possibility of you being a figment of my imagination.”

 

“Heh, would’ve been less trouble for you if I was,” Feng Xi said with a humorless chuckle. “Unfortunately for both you and me though, I am well and truly alive, or conscious at the very least.”

 

Wu Xian blinked slowly, as if taking in the information, then finally inclined his head in what Feng Xi interprets to be acceptance. “I see.”

 

Feng Xi stared at him. Wu Xian stared back. The man’s calm demeanor made Feng Xi all the more aware of his own anxiety, and after a few more moments of unbearable silence, he simply had to say something. “Well, what are you going to do about this now?” he asked, making a vague gesture toward himself. “Since you didn’t manage to finish the job last time.”

 

“…I’m not going to hurt you, if that’s your concern. You’re not in any condition to attack me right now,” Wu Xian answered. Yet despite his claim, his unusually bright green eyes are fixed upon Feng Xi, taking in his every movement. His gaze is downright searing now, intense and strangely intimate in a way Feng Xi could not recall even from the battle in Long You, and he had to fight the urge to look away.

 

“That wasn’t my question,” he managed to say, his hands clenched at his side. He held Wu Xian’s gaze defiantly despite his instinctive discomfort. “I’m asking you what you’re planning on doing with me.” Even trapped within Wu Xian’s spirit realm and weakened to the point of being only half-corporeal, Feng Xi still had his pride, and he would ensure Wu Xian remembered that.

 

To his surprise, Wu Xian seemed to hesitate before answering. “I do not know yet,” he said carefully. “I’ve never heard of an elfin surviving the destruction of their spirit realm before, but you are certainly alive. I thought I sensed a foreign presence in my realm when I returned, I just was not expecting it to be you.”

 

 “…I would’ve thought your first response would be to tell someone at the Guild.”

 

 “No. Not until I figure out what exactly happened,” Wu Xian replied, holding Feng Xi’s gaze as he answered. “Until I know more about your condition, there is still a possibility that it is not a permanent state. If I am really to report this to the Guild, I want to make sure that you will not disappear again, whether by choice or otherwise.”

 

Ah, of course. Feng Xi pulled his lips into a thin smile. “I see, so you need to make sure I’m actually going to stick around long enough to be a problem before reporting it, don’t you? Seems that I left quite the impression.” He knew he was being needlessly antagonistic—logically, provoking Wu Xian was the last thing he should be doing, but he could not make himself stop—all his instincts are screaming at him to strike before he can be struck, like a panther with its back to the wall.

 

For a moment after, Wu Xian looked almost pained, though he regained his composure so quickly that Feng Xi was not sure if he had imagined it. “Feng Xi, it’s been nearly twenty years since Long You. Everyone who was there for the incident was sure that you were dead. I am not going to announce that you are alive until I’m sure that you will stay that way.”

 

“You mean you’re scared I’m going to go turn myself into a tree again,” Feng Xi snapped. “Whether I go or stay isn’t up to you, oh great executor.” Except that was not true and he knows it. His voice was shaking slightly despite his best efforts, and he has trouble meeting Wu Xian’s eyes.

 

This was Wu Xian’s spirit realm, where the owner’s will could overcome even the laws of reality. Death was even preferable to some of the things Wu Xian could do to him here—as the owner of the realm, Wu Xian could read Feng Xi’s thoughts and change them, take away his very sense of self if he wished it. He could replace all of Feng Xi’s memories with new ones and Feng Xi would never even know. Such was the power one had in one’s spirit realm, and deep in Feng Xi’s heart, he was afraid of the sheer, limitless potential of the power that Wu Xian had over him. In those moments as he waited for Wu Xian’s response, he silently wished again that he had never woken from his long sleep, that he would have slumbered forever within his tree in Long You, in the darkness and greenery and oblivion.

 

“…Feng Xi.” When Wu Xian finally does speak, his tone took Feng Xi aback. It was somehow different from his usual mannerism, softer, almost. Maybe even gentle. He listened with wide eyes as Wu Xian went on, “Twenty years might not seem like much to you and me, but it was still long enough for me to contemplate many things. I will say it again. I will not threaten or harm you in any way while you are here in my realm, and that includes anything I can do to you mentally. I don’t know why you are the way you are now, Feng Xi, but I’ve learned that if nothing else that you have your own mind.

 

“I will not try to take that away from you anymore.”

 

Feng Xi’s eyes were wide as Wu Xian spoke his piece. When he finally dared to look up at Wu Xian’s face again, he saw a whirlpool in the depths of the human’s green irises, drawing Feng Xi in. He felt trapped at the center of that gaze, unable to move lest he be ripped apart.

 

This was far from the Wu Xian he was used to dealing with—in the relatively short time they’ve known each other, it had been fairly easy to predict where the executor would go and what he would do. It was why Feng Xi and his friends had managed to avoid capture for as long as they had, as well as why they were able to successfully retrieve Xiao Hei even after Wu Xian overpowered them on the island.

 

The only time Feng Xi had miscalculated was that moment in Long You when Wu Xian, in both desperation and fury, had thrown all caution and reason aside to chase after him into the Domain. And now here he was again, staring at the human’s calm face and intense eyes without the slightest idea of what the man was thinking.  

 

Yet Wu Xian, without any noticeable effort, seemed to understand exactly what he needed. “…I’ll give you some time,” he said after a moment, turning away, leaving Feng Xi staring at his back, unable to move. The elfin watched with a growing sense of bewilderment as the human calmly walked to the entrance and let himself out, the door gently opening and slipping shut behind him.

 

Even then Feng Xi still does not relax. It was only until the human failed to reappear for several moments that he finally began to accept that Wu Xian was not just hiding around somewhere, observing Feng Xi—he really did leave.

 

Feng Xi released a breath he had not even realized he was holding. He could not believe that Wu Xian, the Guild’s foremost executor famed for his implacable pursuit and uncompromising power, was letting the issue go just like this, and yet he could not deny the apparent truth.

 

In all those years he had been on the run, he had predicted the actions of Wu Xian the executor with nary a fault, but he was utterly at a loss now. That…unnerved Feng Xi in a way few things ever did. Aside from the powers granted by his spiritual abilities, Feng Xi’s greatest strengths were his calculating mind and his ability to perceive what others were thinking and feeling—and Wu Xian had just rendered both these strengths virtually ineffective. He remained on edge long after the man had left, feeling strangely bare and vulnerable, as if all his defenses had been stripped away.

 

It seems that he knew Wu Xian quite well as the Guild’s most powerful executor, but he does not know Wu Xian, the person, at all.