Work Header

The Statement of the Great Mint

Work Text:

Sam blinks. Blinks again.

Nope, still two Deans standing right in front of him and grinning in the same cocky way.

“I’m having a nightmare.”

“More like a wet dream.” Both Deans speak at the same time, grin at each other, and then fist bump.

Definitely a nightmare.

“What did you do?” He doesn’t even know which Dean to stare at accusingly, so he looks at both of them.

“I didn’t do anything!” Left Dean cries.

“Why does it automatically have to be my fault?” Right Dean finishes.

They both hold their hands out in a pleading gesture as if Sam is being unreasonable and they simply want a little understanding.

Which Sam would love to give them, but first he would have to understand why his normally annoying brother is now two annoying brothers.

“Because you’re always touching things or pissing off witches or saying something stupid. Because you Dean, that’s why. Now seriously. What did you touch? What did you say?”

“I didn’t touch anything-“ Left Dean takes a step forward.

“And I didn’t say anything.” Right Dean steps forward too, and Sam takes an involuntary step back.

“We just woke up this way.” They’re talking together again, eyes fixed on Sam, and Sam realizes that there’s a glint there he should have seen before. It’s just so commonplace for Dean to drop innuendo that the normality of the wet dream comment mixed with the absurdity of two Deans standing in front of him has thrown Sam off his observant game. Now he’s really paying attention.

They have intent.

“Oh no. No. Back off. I don’t know what’s happened to you or why this is going on, but that doesn’t mean sex happens. This isn’t porn Dean this is real life Remember the difference? We’ve talked about this.”

Both Deans manage to pull off the same beaten puppy look, and Sam ignores it in favor of sitting down in front of his laptop and starting to research magical cloning.


Four hours later he’s gotten nowhere, but he has learned that two Deans are doubly disgusting when it comes to eating, and the trash can in the hotel is now full to the brim with fast food wrappers and the remnants of cheese covered fries. Sam is working hard to ignore both of them as they sit side by side on the bed, shoulders touching, laughing at the same jokes on TV and nudging each other. They look like twin brothers having a fun afternoon together.

Sam wonders if maybe this is some sort of punishment for something he doesn’t know he did. Two Deans means twice the bad jokes, twice the inappropriate comments, and where once upon a time Dean would stop when no laughed and Sam just gave him a sour look now there’s an audience. When one Dean makes a joke the other crows in delight and joins in.

This is his worst nightmare.

He gets up without a word and leaves the main room. The bathroom here actually has some space, and Sam enjoys the quiet of it as he takes a piss and starts up the shower. Maybe it has something to do with their last case. They were in an antiques store at one point and Dean must have touched a thousand things while they were there. So all they have to do is retrace their steps and look at every object a little closer until they figure out which one it was that made Dean double.

Maybe they could just burn the shop down.

The water hits the proper temperature and Sam sheds his clothes and steps in. It’s a good shower, this is probably one of the nicest rooms they’ve ever stayed in despite its age, and Sam is happy to have real water pressure and heat again. He pours shampoo into his hand and then spread it, sinks his fingers into his own hair and starts to lather up.

And then a hand lands on his thigh and Sam jumps. Another hand catches his shoulder and steadies him, and a third hand lands on his waist. Sam squints one eye to avoid the stream of soapy water that’s sluicing down his face while watching both Deans leaning in from opposite ends of the shower curtain.

“We thought you were lonely.” Left Dean smirks.

“So we figured we’d join you.” Right Dean winks.

There are so many insulting comments flying through Sam’s brain that he can’t pick one before both naked Deans and stepping into the shower. What seemed large to Sam moments ago is now a cramped space, and he has nowhere to go as both Deans sandwich him in. It’s a lot of flesh pressed against his, and it only takes a moment to realize that both Deans are hard.

“Wait. Wait, listen, we really need to know what-“

But no, Sam doesn’t get to finish because the Dean behind him pulls the shower head out of its holder and uses it to rinse the shampoo from Sam’s hair even as the Dean in front sinks his fingers in to rub Sam’s scalp. It’s soothing, or mostly soothing, because it’s coupled with two muscular Deans pressed against him, and a hard cock rubbing against his ass while another one slides along his thigh and nudges his own rapidly swelling dick.

All logic and intelligence flies out the window, and Sam forgets his arguments in the warm water and slip and slide of skin. He’s always loved the feel of his brother’s body, but being sandwiched by it is a totally new sensation that leaves Sam a little dizzy.

The Dean in front of him is moving slightly, shifting so that their cocks are rubbing against each other, water making the movements smooth as the silky skin of Dean’s dick creates friction against Sam’s. It’s good. It won’t get him there, but it’s good, and Sam leans back against the Dean behind him and lets his brothers hold him up while he simply enjoys the unexpected frottage. Dean’s dick can’t stay in contact all the time, and sometimes the head nudges against Sam’s balls or presses against the base of Sam’s cock. It’s maddening, sensual, and Sam wants more. The water leaves his head, and Sam feels the Dean behind him shift before hot water is pouring directly down his back and fingers are trailing along his hip and over the left cheek of his ass.

“So hot for us Sammy.” Dean in front thrusts his hips and his dick takes a long, firm drag against Sam’s making him cry out.

“So pretty all slick and wet. Begging us for more.” The Dean behind circles Sam’s hole with his finger, pressing irregularly as the water makes it slide smoothly.

And Sam is moaning, but he’s not begging. He’d point out the difference but there doesn’t seem to be a connection between his brain and his mouth right now. Instead all the wiring has bypassed and connected to his dick.

“We’re gonna wear you out little brother.” They speak together, Dean in front thrusting forward against Sam’s cock and Dean behind breaching the tight outer ring of muscle and slipping his finger into Sam.

Sam sees colors behind his eyelids, knees going weak and both Deans holding him up as the Dean in front continues to thrust their cocks together, one hand holding them closer and increasing the friction, and the Dean behind works his finger in deeper searching for Sam’s prostate.

There’s a distant thunk as the showerhead is dropped and bangs against the side of the tub, and Sam notes it as two more fingers breach him and he cries out into the sudden appearance of the Dean in front’s mouth. The kiss is hot, sloppy, and he uses it to ignore the burn and stretch until all three fingers are a comfortable fit. It’s been too long since they did this.

“So fucking tight Sammy. How long has it been since I was in you? A week? Two? We’ve been so busy it never gets past your lips wrapped around my dick but Jesus I never forget how fucking tight and hot your ass is. How good it feels to sink my cock in it and just sit, just feel you moving around me. You squirm so much on my dick do you think I can get more in? Maybe we can both get in there, stretch you so wide on our cocks and just watch you hanging helpless between us. Would you like that little brother? Two dicks in you, so full and big?”

Dean behind is dropping a steady stream of dirty talk, fingers moving in Sam, and Dean in front is kissing him, tongue slipping in between his lips and moving against his. Sam’s overwhelmed, not sure if he wants what Dean’s selling but sure that if they stop he’ll kill them both and then die of blue balls.

Lips still pressed against his, Dean in front talks past Sam.

“Let’s get him in the bed.”

The water snaps off, and the fingers in Sam’s ass slide out. The dick pressed against his disappears and Sam is manhandled out of the shower and into a towel. He’s dried off quickly, hands sliding along his skin and dipping in between his ass cheeks and across his hole, over the length of his engorged dick, and across the tight skin of his balls. Sam opens his eyes to see Dean’s intense and bright, and then turns his head to see the other Dean smirking with his lids drooped.

And then he’s being led, a finger slipping back into his ass, both Deans focused on the task at hand, and Sam is marched to the bed where four hands lift him up and drop him onto the mattress. Sam is flipped onto his stomach, and four hands grip his legs at random places and pull him up onto his knees. He’s spread, hands scrabbling at the sheets to get a good grip, and then a tongue brushes his asshole while another one slips across the head of his dick.

“Oh fuck Dean. Dean.” Sam can’t think, can’t make himself say anything that he wants to say, as a hot mouth wraps around his cock and the tongue behind him breaches his asshole and slips into him. He’s being licked from both sides, mouths working in tandem, and it should be scary how well they work together. Like one mind is being shared between them when the Dean on his dick slides down, hot mouth engulfing him and working towards his balls, the Dean rimming him slides his tongue all the way in and flutters it rapidly.

Sam’s hips stutter, not sure where to go or whose tongue he wants more. Fingers slip in with the tongue in his ass, the mouth on his cock reaches the base and the head of his dick is pressed against deep in Dean’s throat, and Sam comes with no warning and no preparation. It’s only the Dean licking him out that keeps him from crushing the Dean sucking his dick when his strength goes out and he collapses.

His face is pressed against the sheet, mouth open and spilling gibberish as the Dean sucking him off releases his dick and disappears. Sam cracks one eye to see blowjob Dean digging in the nightstand and pulling out a bottle of lube. He grins at Sam wildly, eyes dark as he pours lube over his fingers, and rimming Dean is still working his tongue and fingers into Sam’s ass.

Then blowjob Dean is gone from sight, and there’s a moment where Sam can sense them having a silent conversation before the tongue disappears and a lubed finger enters his ass from the other side. Sam lays limp, cock spent and muscles loose, as both Deans finger him open. If he had to guess he’d say there’s at least five fingers in his ass, and Sam is pretty sure he’s never going to move again.

Time slows to a crawl, and Sam feels his hole stretched wide and lonely when all the fingers disappear and leave him to the mercy of the cool hotel room air. Then Sam is lifted and he sees for just a moment as his body is turned that one Dean is jerking the other Dean off. Both of them are into it, faces intense and focused, and then Sam loses sight of the Dean getting jerked off again before four hands move him so that the head of one of their dicks is pressed against his entrance.

Sam breathes out without instruction as Dean’s dick slips into his well stretched hole. With all the fingers that just left him it’s not a hard fit, and Sam slips easily down the cock and settles with his back against Dean’s chest. The other Dean slips in front of him and drops to his knees before taking Sam’s soft dick into his mouth. He works it, lips rubbing along over-sensitized skin and making Sam’s breath hitch and legs jerk.

“That’s right Sammy. Let it happen. Let us do this. Relax. Relax into us.” The Dean buried inside him starts moving his hips, little jerks that press deep into Sam, and when he finally hits Sam’s prostate and Sam lets out a cry a finger slips in beside the dick. And then another one.

His cock is starting to stir again, growing hard in Dean’s mouth as the fingers next to the dick move. Sam is stretching more, improbably wider, as the Dean fucking him moans into his ear. It’s too much sensation, too much, but Sam can’t ask them to stop. Doesn’t have the breath to make it happen. Instead he’s just limp between them letting himself be fucked and manipulated.

And then the fingers pressed inside him disappear and Sam is tilted further back. Dean’s lips press against his ear at the same time Dean’s lips press against his mouth. It’s a weirdly chaste kiss, and the Dean behind him speaks low and thick.

“We love you Sammy.”

Sam gasps, and the head of the Dean in front’s dick nudges his entrance and then slowly slides in. No amount of fingers could have prepared him for this, and Sam’s lethargy flees as for a moment as he panics at the thought of it. Dean is not a little guy. He may not be as long as Sam but he’s wider and god two of those pressing into him has got to be too much. There’s no way that should fit.

Except it does. Slowly but surely the second cock buries itself in him, and it’s such a tight fit Sam’s not sure they’ll be able to move. Dean’s moans are in surround sound in front and behind as the two of them sit perfectly still buried inside of him.

And then they begin to move. It’s awkward, hesitant, but eventually they get rhythm. Push and pull, one dick sliding in further as the other pulls a little out. Sam is sandwiched between them, twin Dean heartbeats slamming against his skin as his dick rubs against Dean in front’s stomach and his prostate is battered by twin cock heads.

“Please. Please. Please.” Sam isn’t sure what he’s asking for until Dean in front leans in to kiss him and Dean behind presses his mouth against Sam’s ear and starts talking. His brothers know exactly what he needs.

“We got you Sammy. We got you. It’s ok. Give in. Relax. Just let us give you what you need. Let us take care of you little brother. It’s ok. You can let go now. Let it happen.”

The Dean kissing him gasps, and then Sam feels a flood of warmth inside of him. Dean in front is still hard, still moving, but the added lubrication makes Dean in back slip and slide a little more smoothly before he comes too and Sam is full to the brim of wet and hot and hard.

Slowly, ever so slowly, they pull out and Sam feels a moment of shame at the way he leaks before he’s gently pulled and pushed so that he’s lying on his back and both Dean’s are lapping at his cock. One slips down and licks his balls, mouths them, and then moves back up to join his twin again. The two mouths coax Sam into another orgasm, slow and long, and he feels come leaking onto his stomach as they lap it up.

Both Deans lick him clean, and then one disappears long enough to get a washcloth and Sam’s face is turned into a chest and a heartbeat as a gentle hand cleans his ass. He falls asleep like that, the warm skin of one Dean pressed against his face and the hands of the other Dean smoothing over his damp skin.





When Sam wakes up there’s only one Dean, walking out of the bathroom and whistling something that’s familiar to Sam even if he’s not sure why. He watches his brother walk around the room, plucking up his boxer briefs and pulling them on before he slips into the bed with Sam.

They settle together, Dean’s arms going around Sam’s waist, and he’s too relaxed and fucked out to complain about Dean switching to humming whatever the catchy little music is. It’s starting to bug him though, trying to figure out what it is.

He drops his head backwards onto Dean’s shoulder and matches his breath to his brother’s. It’s nice, and warm, and Sam wants to enjoy it. He does. But he needs to know now.

“Dean, what the fuck are you humming?”

“You remember our last hunt Sammy? The antiques shop run by that nice old lady? The good witch?”

Sam does. Nods against Dean’s shoulder weakly.

“My mouth tasted funny after Biggerson’s.”

He nods again, not sure where this is going but almost dreading it.

“I asked her for a mint. She gave me gum.”

Everything is clear to Sam. He’s going to hit Dean.

“Double your pleasure, double your fu-oomph!”

Sam’s glad he has enough strength to drive his elbow into Dean’s stomach one last time before going totally limp and falling back into sleep.