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The Padawan's Student

Summary:

After Order 66, Ahsoka Tano sets off to meet Obi Wan Kenobi on Polis Massa, where Luke and Leia Skywalker came into this world just hours earlier. Unable to leave her old master’s children alone, Ahsoka decides to take care of the girl to raise and train her from now on. But with each day that the young student follows more and more in her father’s footsteps, the challenge for the former Padawan grows.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Chapter Text

Emptiness. That’s what Ahsoka felt at that moment. She could have been screaming and crying, flailing around wildly or break down on the ground. She could have been sad or angry. Could have felt betrayed and abandoned. Perhaps she felt all of this and it all combined to form one big emptiness that took possession of her whole being.

Her eyes were focused on the holo-recording in front of her. To Anakin, who knelt before the chancellor, knelt before Sidious. Never before had her own master seemed so strange to her. Seeing Anakin like this was as if she looked through the eyes of another person, as if the body in which she was stuck in did not belong to her. Obi Wan’s words - with which he probably wanted to make sure that she was well - didn’t get through to her at all. She saw the movement of his lips and his worried look, but nothing more.

“I should never have left,” it was barely more than a quiet whisper. The words left Ahsoka’s mouth before she could think about it, accompanied by tears that now ran down her face. Obi Wan had immediately fallen silent, only looking at her more worried than ever.

“Ahsoka, this isn’t your fault,” his voice was soft, and it was actually the first thing that actually came through to her since she had first seen the holo.

“But I could have been there for him! Had I not been on Mandalore, had I even been with him the last few months, he could have talked to me. I could have understood him.”

“I know how you feel, probably even better than anyone else,” he gently put his hand on her shoulder. A rare sign of proximity from the Jedi master that Ahsoka appreciated, “There’s nothing you could have done. None of us could.”

She wasn’t sure if that last sentence was really addressed to her or if he was saying it to himself. Yet it gave her strength, even enough to finally ask the question she had feared for so long.

“Where is he now?”, the question occupied her since she had felt that something was wrong with Anakin for the first time on her cruiser. She had the same bad feeling on the moon on which she had crashed. With Rex help she had fortunately managed to restore a part of the communication. And even if she hadn’t been able to reach Anakin, she had at least been able to contact Obi Wan who gave her the coordinates of the station on Polis Massa. Although Ahsoka had assured him that everything was fine with Rex, Obi Wan insisted that he first had his chip examined at the medical station before he was initiated into any details.

So it was that Ahsoka was all alone with the old master when the flood of bad news hit her. The Temple was destroyed, the Jedi were dead, the Republic had fallen. Anakin had survived, but only because he was the cause of all this. Because he had joined the Sith. She didn’t ask why, she didn’t want Obi Wan to tell her. If there was someone who had to answer this question, it was Anakin himself. But first she had to know where he was. Questioningly she looked at Obi Wan who hadn’t answered her question yet, only to see how he avoided her gaze.

“Master? Where is Anakin now?”

“Anakin is… he is…” his voice trembled, and Ahsoka could have sworn she saw tears form in his eyes. She had never seen him like that before “He’s dead. I killed him.”

The words hit Ahsoka like a blaster shot. Shocked, she stood there not knowing what to do or say. Her brain seemed unable to process the information she had just received correctly. In disbelief she looked at the man opposite her.

This could not be true! That was impossible! Just like for her Anakin had been like a brother for Obi Wan, sometimes maybe even like a son. She could not believe he would have killed him. Yes, Anakin had done bad things, terrible, unforgivable, horrible things, and yet she could never have hurt him. So how would Obi-Wan ever have been able to do such a thing to him?

The realization that it apparently bothered her more that Obi Wan had killed him instead of the fact that Anakin was dead now, came only a few moments later and disturbed her deeply. Anakin’s death was anything but indifferent to her and yet she knew that she would have reacted differently to this news just a few hours ago. Yes, her world seemed to collapse around her. Yes, she felt a part of her had disappeared forever. Yes, she was grieving for Anakin. Yes, she missed him more than anything, and wished he was still here. And yet it was not the same.

Her world fell apart not only because of his death, but because of what he had done. He had always been there for her, had given her hope and given her trust when no one else did. She could not imagine how someone who had shown her so much kindness and compassion could do such terrible things. She wished she had had the chance to talk to him again. Would she have recognized what was going on within him? Could she have influenced his decision? Could she have stopped him?

She would never know the answers. But there was one question she could still get the answers to. And although she was sure she did not want to hear the answer, she also knew that she could have borne the uncertainty even less.

“How?” a simple word with so much more to it, and yet Ahsoka couldn’t bear to say more.

“I told you so”, Obi Wan took a deep breath. He seemed to have an even harder time talking than she did, “I killed him.”

“That’s not what I mean,” she paused for a moment and prepared to finally say the words, “I mean, how could you kill him?”

In Obi Wan’s eyes she saw an expression she’d never seen before from the old master. Fear and terror. He was afraid of what he had done himself. His eyes looked at her pleadingly as he tried to find the words.

“Ahsoka, please, I can’t… I don’t know. The things he had done, I had no other… Please…”

She saw the pain of the man who now looked so much older than ever before. She knew how hard it must have been for him and yet she was angry. No matter what had happened, she just could not understand how he had been able to do such a thing.

"At least tell me how you killed him. Was it quick,” Ahsoka hoped fervently. No matter what Anakin had done, she didn’t want him to be in too much pain.

“No,” Obi-Wan’s voice was quiet, almost broken, “We were on Mustafar, and we fought. There was lava everywhere. I stood on top of a hill, Anakin below me. He–he jumped and…,” he took a breath as if he didn’t really want to say the next words, but the look on Ahsoka’s face told him he had no choice, “He didn’t jump high enough. I severed his limbs and he fell. He was too close to the lava flow and one of the sparks jumped over to him and he…he…”

The last words never left his mouth, but Ahsoka did not need to hear them. She could guess and didn’t need to hear them as well. She had wanted him to die a quiet, painless death, but apparently, the exact opposite had happened.

For a while, the two sat there in silence, neither of them able to say anything. Ahsoka didn’t know how much time had passed when Obi Wan cleared his throat.

“There’s something else you should know.”

___________________________

For the second time since arriving at the base, Ahsoka stared incredulously at what lay before her. While this sight was by no means horrifying, like the holo, it was nonetheless very strange. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but certainly not this.

“And they are really his?”, not once since they had entered the room had she averted her gaze from the two sleeping babies. Obi Wan had told her about them and about Padmé’s death before, but only when she had seen them could she really believe it.

“Yes, they are.”

Ahsoka’s hand moved to the cheek of the right baby, Luke, and stroked gently over it as if afraid to break it. She had always known Anakin had feelings for Padmé, but she never thought it would end like this.

“What will happen to them now?”

“We don’t know yet. Master Yoda, Master Kenobi, and I were just about to discuss it when you arrived here,” it was Senator Organa who replied. He and Master Yoda were already with the twins when Ahsoka first saw them, “I’m sure we’ll find a solution.”

A solution. These children had no one else. Their parents were dead, and there was no temple to protect them. They would never be safe under the rule of the Empire. The children of a Jedi, no, a Sith. Sidious would do anything to find the offspring of his former apprentice. No place in the galaxy would be truly safe.

Ahsoka’s finger went from Luke’s cheek to Leia’s arm and to her tiny little hand. So small and helpless and all alone. As Ahsoka looked at her, her eyes opened. Big, brown eyes that resembled her mother’s so much that it hurt again. Involuntarily, Ahsoka’s hand closed around the little one’s.

“I’ll take them,” she turned to look at the others in the room, “I’ll watch over them. I can protect them, can make sure nothing happens to them. I-”

“Ahsoka, you can’t. It would be too dangerous,” Obi Wan tried to sound reassuring, but Ahsoka was determined.

“But–”

“Right he is. Separately they should grow up. Too dangerous in one place for the two of them it is.”

“Then let me take one. Give me the girl and I’ll take care of her”, her hand still hadn’t let go of Leia’s.

Yoda and Obi Wan were already about to contradict her when Senator Organa spoke.

“It would be a possibility. The Empire thinks she’s dead. No one would think of looking for her. I could take the boy. My wife and I have wanted to adopt a child for some time. We’ll take good care of him.”

“Too risky that is. To their family in Tatooine one of the kids we should take.”

“With all due respect, Master, but do you really think the Empire won’t look there first? And if they find them there, they’ll be left without any protection. I can protect this child better than Anakin’s family on Tatooine.”

“I agree with her,” Obi Wan’s change of mind surprised her, but she let him continue, “Tatooine is too dangerous, even without the Empire. And I’m sure the Anakin I knew never would have wanted his child to grow up there. And I know that this Anakin trusted Ahsoka with his life.”

It hurt to hear the words, and yet she was glad. A small smile formed in the corner of her mouth as she looked at Obi Wan, and for a moment, she thought he would smile back.

“Agreed. Decided it is. Ahsoka will take the girl and the boy will go to Aldreaan.”

___________________________

“And you’re sure you won’t need my help?” Rex looked at her skeptically. Leia lay asleep in Ahsoka’s arms as the two friends said goodbye in front of the ramp of the small ship that would take them to safety. The others had been convinced that it would be best not to tell Rex about the twins, but Ahsoka knew that - with the exception of herself and Obi Wan - there was no one who would be more concerned about the welfare of these children, Anakin’s children, than Rex.

And she was right. Since she had told him about them, he had already offered her his help countless times. While Ahsoka was pleased with the offer, confident that a little support and company would be more than desirable, she knew it was not possible.

“Yes, I think so. Besides, we’re supposed to keep a low profile and you–”

“Have a face with high recognition value,” he winked at her briefly as she was already about to reply, “Don’t worry, I know what you mean. But if there should be any problems, I want you to know that I’m here. We both know it can’t always be easy with a Skywalker.”

“Definitely not. Thanks, Rex, I’ll keep that in mind”, she had already walked up the ramp a few steps before she turned around again, “May the Force be with you.”

“May the Force be with you,” he looked at the little bundle in her arms, “And with you, little one, you’re going to need it.”

The ramp closed, and Ahsoka launched the ship, little Leia in the special device on the seat next to her. She thought again of everyone she now left behind. Rex and Obi-Wan. Little Luke and Bail Organa. Master Yoda and the other Jedi who were hiding from the Empire somewhere in the galaxy, as she would do now. She did not know when or if she would see the others again, but she knew she had no choice.

Her gaze wandered to the sleeping Leia and suddenly saying goodbye seemed much easier. Her future might be uncertain but she knew she was doing the right thing protecting Leia.

And while the stars around her turned into white rays, another name was added to the list of people she left behind. But she didn’t just leave this person, she abandoned him. Over and over again, his face appeared before her inner eye. She didn’t know if she could have saved him if she had tried. But what she did know was that she would do anything to protect his daughter.