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By Your Side

Chapter 8

Notes:

Hi. Soo I dont know if anyone is actually still reading this but here we go. I got loads of excuses but you dont care so never mind. Only a short update just to give you something, it might take a bit to get back into the swing of writing. I've given up on the angsty plot so I want to try and wrap it up quick so I can get to happy family fluff that we all want, so if this seems super rushed and out of place well it probably is. Next chapter will hopefully finish that shit and we can have fluffy stuff forever

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Eliza, take Kieran upstairs.” The older blonde was already scooping the boy into her arms before Kara had even finished her sentence. Krypto jolted to Eliza’s side, slightly in front of her protectively, growling lowly at the unknown threat. Kieran begun to sense the tension in the room and whined, his arms reaching out to Lena with worried eyes.

Lena sped over, conscious that they didn’t have much time. She pressed a heavy kiss to his forehead, hands cupping his warm cheeks. “It’s okay baby, go with nana.” The boy only seemed to grow more afraid, his bottom lip trembling.

“Lena-” Kara was interrupted by Lena before she could even finish her thought.

“I’m not leaving you alone with her Kara,” her voice left no room for arguments.

Kara sighed and instead moved to help calm Kieran, “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. I’m Supergirl, remember?” Her voice was warm and soothing and had the desired effect on their panicked boy. He was clearly still scared but seemed to accept that his parents would be okay.

Eliza squeezed Lena’s hand as the younger woman gave her a nod. She then wrapped her other arm around Kieran and made a swift exit up the stairs with Krypto right on their tail, just as a knock sounded at the door.

It echoed throughout the silent house, a stark contrast from the lively movie night that had been disrupted. Kara and Lena had a silent conversation, wondering how best to tackle the situation. It was clear though that neither had a plan, too thrown by the sudden appearance.

A second hollow knock prompted them into movement, Kara taking the lead but Lena close by her side. Every creak of the door could be heard as it opened in the harsh silence of the room, the heavy breathing of two worried women wondering what lies behind the hunk of wood.

Lena blinked as her eyes landed on the figure opposite them, shadows giving way to slivers of light on the older woman’s face.  She looked nothing like the harsh stoic woman Lena remembered.  Her usual perfect posture slightly hunched, arms held loosely in front of her.  Tinges of grey coloured her hairline, a weathered look to her features, as if her past sins had begun to weigh her down.  Lena blinked again, unable to combine the woman before her with the woman in her memories. Sure, it had been years, but Lena was shocked.

A few beats passed, with no one making a move before the older Luthor cleared her throat. “Miss Danvers, I presume?” she offered a tight lipped, somewhat grim smile as she addressed Kara.  “Lena.”  Lillian shifted awkwardly on her feet, another shock to Lena, she always hated when Lena did that as a child. 

“Mrs Luthor,” Kara awkwardly replied unsure how to proceed. 

“What are you doing here?” Lena demanded suddenly, finally finding her voice and coming back to herself.

Lillian sighed, looking haggard the longer she stood there beneath the dim light.  “I’m here to help, I believe you’re in danger.”

Lena scoffed, moving to stand in front of Kara defensively. “What, and you think showing up here late at night in the dark, out of nowhere, was going to help?” The words were tinged with disbelief. “There’s a reason I haven’t spoken to you in years Lillian, I don’t want anything from you.” She crossed her arms in defiance, unwilling to bend or break.

“Lena,” Lillian pleaded in a voice Lena had never heard, “Please, I know I don’t deserve your time and you certainly don’t need-“

“You’re right, I don’t,” Lena cut in.

“Please, just let me tell you what I know, and then if you never want to see me again that’s fine, just please, you have no idea what Lex is planning,” the desperation was clear to Kara, though she was unsure if Lena could tell through her anger. Much like Lena, Kara could not believe this was the cruel Lillian Lena had talked about, the woman just looked tired and worn down.

Pressing a comforting hand to her side, Kara tried to gently break the tension, “Lena.”

Green eyes cut to blue, another silent conversation shared between the couple. Letting out a sigh Lena conceded, stepping back and heading for the kitchen, needing to keep busy if this visit was going to continue.

Kara ushered the Luthor matriarch into the house, letting out her own breath she had been unknowingly holding in.  Lillian and Kara had settled at the dining table, Kara awkwardly tapping her fingers on the old wood, while Lena anxiously paced back and forth.

“How did you even find us here?” Was the first thing Lena asked, a hint of accusation in her tone.

“I may not be very present in society anymore, but I am still a Luthor dear, it wasn’t exactly difficult,” Lillian simply replied, a trace of the old Lillian peeking through. “Besides, though it may surprise you to know, I have somewhat kept up with the happenings of your life over the years.”  There was a flicker of sadness in her eyes as she said it, but it was gone just as quickly as it appeared.

“You mean keeping tabs on me,” Lena scoffs, rolling her eyes. Her whole body feels tense, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides as she tries to expel some of her nervous energy.

“No Lena, I simply-“

Lena cut off Lillian’s attempt to explain. “Why? Why now? Why show up now wanting to help?” She felt her voice rising and tried to tone it down, not wanting her words to carry upstairs to where her scared son was.

Lillian was quiet a moment, trying to compose herself. There was an unreadable expression on her face, somewhere between shame, fear, and sadness. Her words were soft when she spoke, no traces of bitterness or anger. “I know you think I don’t care about you, but I do Lena. You’re my daughter, and I love-“

“Don’t. Don’t you dare say those words, when you spent my childhood telling me I was anything but your daughter. You made it abundantly clear, that you never loved me.” 

Kara reached out, clasping one of Lena’s flailing hands in her own. With a gentle tug she pulled the slowly unravelling woman into her side, her heart pinching with guilt as making her go through this.

It was a few moments before Lillian spoke again, the woman now looking smaller than Lena ever thought possible, slouched in her chair with her head hung low in shame. “You know, I always wanted a daughter. Even though it wasn’t under the best circumstances, I was thrilled when I learned you were coming to live with us. I loved Lex, obviously, but I always struggled to bond with him as a child. I hoped you would be a second chance for me,” she paused, eyes still downcast. She inhaled deeply before meeting their eyes and continuing. “Your father had other feelings on the matter, you were his darling girl, not mine. In his younger days he had a terrible temper, would lash out when things didn’t go his way. He mellowed as he got older and when we had Lex, but it began to reappear after you arrived. I don’t know if you remember, but after a few days with us you began to gravitate to me. He didn’t like that.” Lillian visibly shuddered at the memory.

Lena didn’t know what to think. Part of her believed Lillian was just making excuses, that it was all part of a ploy. Another part saw the raw emotions Lillian had never been known to show, and Lena knew her mother was a good actor, but not even the best actor could fake what she was seeing.

“I had bought you a teddy bear which you loved dearly. Until one day, you couldn’t find it and refused to go anywhere with your father until you found it. Lionel was enraged, he made me throw it away once it was found and it broke my heart. Had he only threatened me I could live with it, but cruel man that he was made it clear it would be you who suffered if you continued to bond with me. There used to be a saying, ‘a man will kill his children just to spite his wife’.  I had never believed that, until that day when I saw the determined look in his eye.” Kara watched shocked as Lillian swiped a lone tear away, before stiffening her shoulders and sitting tall again. “You were too young to know or understand. It wasn’t my best decision and I have regretted it for the last twenty years, but things were different back then and I didn’t know how else to protect you, so-“

“You pushed her away,” Kara broke in, somewhat understanding the thought process. Lillian was right, it was a terrible decision, but it was a horrible situation and choice too.

“Yes,” Lillian confirmed solemnly, “I made you think I didn’t want you or love you so that you would never love me. You then latched onto Lex, I didn’t notice he was using you as a pawn until it was too late, he had you under his spell and you had been hating me too long by then. I know you don’t believe it, and I can understand why, but I do love you, Lena. I’m not asking for forgiveness, I know I do not deserve it, all I want is to make sure Lex cannot hurt you anymore than we already have.” Lillian looked earnest in her plea, eyes almost hazy as she tried to right her wrongs. She was quiet as she finished her monologue tentatively, “You’re all I have left Lena, you and my grandson.”

“The grandson you used to tell me would never love me because I didn’t birth him,” Lena’s anger flared back up at the mention of Kieran.

A crinkle appeared in Lillian’s forehead, her eyebrows scrunching in confusion. “Lena, I don’t know-“

“Don’t play dumb mother, it isn’t becoming. You knew the way to hurt me the most was hit where it hurt, with him.”

“Lena,” the surprise was clear in her voice, though Lena struggled to believe it, she knows what she remembers. “Darling,” Lillian paused when Lena almost growled defensively at the motherly nickname, “Lena, I truly don’t know what you mean.”

Kara’s eyes shifted between the two Luthor’s. Kara didn’t doubt what Lena was saying, but she couldn’t help but see the truth in Lillian’s eyes. The woman had been sincere from the moment she stepped through the door, that much was clear to the reporter. If there was one thing Kara could spot, it was a liar. Lena could too, but maybe not when that person was her mother. And Kara saw nothing but truth.

Lillian’s gaze turned to Kara pleadingly before returning to her daughter. “Lena, I was in Gotham when you brought him home. Don’t you remember? I was gone for two months. By the time I returned, you had already disappeared.”

Kara tried to hide her shock, but a part of her understood. Lena had a traumatic childhood; it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that her brain and memories had distorted over time.

“I tried to reach out, but you wanted nothing to do with me, so I let you be. I never met the boy, as much as I wanted to. I sent-“

“The bassinet and the teddy,” Lena gasped, her eyes widening in disbelief. Her hand covered her mouth as she reached out to steady herself on Kara. “I don’t-“ her heart was racing, her breath getting choked.

Silence stretched, everyone digesting the new revelations. It was too much; Lena’s brain couldn’t focus. Deciding to plough through, she would deal with everything else later, she pushed on.

“Why do you think I’m in danger?” She changed the topic, squeezing Kara’s hand when the blonde looked at her questioningly.

“Not you directly,” Lillian’s eyes shifted to Kara.

“You think he’s coming after me?” Kara supplied.

“And the boy,” she grimly replied, swallowing thickly at the implication.

Lena choked on a sob, but Kara was quickly on her, hands cupping her cheeks and locking eyes. “Hey, I promise, nothing is going to happen to him,” she turned back to Lillian, “how can he even know anything about us, he’s in prison. He wouldn’t even know my name.”

“I can assure you Miss Danvers, even inside a locked cell, he knows everything.”

“That’s impossib-“

“Danvers,” Lena cut in, eyes glassy as she stared at nothing.

“What?” Two pairs of eyes landed on Lena.

“Kara Danvers,” Lena blinked and looked at Kara, “he called you Kara Danvers. I called your name when you grabbed him but I only said ‘Kara’, but he called you Kara Danvers. He does, he knows.” Lena looked back at her mother, as if seeing her in a new light. She really was telling the truth. He knew everything. They were in danger.

Notes:

let me know your thoughts, I'll need them to fuel me since it has been FOREVER
this is slightly different to how I originally planned the Lillian meeting but like I said, wanna wrap this angsty shit up
come yell at me on Tumblr to write more @lenadoyle