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Shifu, Please Don't Drink Ever Again...

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Xiao Hei sighed from where he sat, legs crossed under him and a cheek resting on his propped up arm, as he stared unblinking at Wuxian, who was seated on the couch, eyes seeming to be staring at something beyond Xiao Hei, beyond the walls of the small room.

He didn’t dare take his eyes away from his unruly shifu. Every time he did for a second, it seemed as though Wuxian would attempt something stupid, over and over again.

So eventually, Xiao Hei just gave up and decided this was the best course of action to take.

In the many years Xiao Hei has known Wuxian, he has never seen him act like this before. Who knew that a powerful, near immortal human would be so troublesome when drunk?

It wasn’t really Xiao Hei’s fault!!

He’d only just gotten back from Xiaobai’s house, he didn’t expect to have to take care of Wuxian like this.

So far, the human has been oddly talkative and telling Xiao Hei things whether he already knew them or not. He’s mentioned Beihe at least five times now, has told Xiao Hei multiple times about how proud of his disciple he is (this made Xiao Hei flustered a few times, not that Wuxian normally didn’t praise him, but he normally doesn’t do it so openly), as well as mentioned about some time that Wuxian apparently jumped off a cliff because he was being annoyed by some bandits and didn’t want to bother with them.

At this, Xiao Hei tried his best not to laugh, because imagining his shifu jumping off a cliff for something like that… It was just too outrageous!! He’ll have to ask about it once Wuxian is completely sober.

A few times, Wuxian had also wandered into the kitchen to attempt to cook something, and Xiao Hei didn’t even want to imagine what kind of creation he’d make while drunk. Anything he makes while sober is already nearly inedible. They really don’t need to be setting the place on fire.

Sitting here, Xiao Hei understood now why he’s never seen Wuxian drink in all these years, and he was thankful for it. At least he didn’t go through bouts of violence, like Xiao Hei himself apparently went through… As he remembered this fact, Xiao Hei felt his face heating up a little in embarrassment. He should probably apologize to Argen again…

 

“Feng Xi…”

Xiao Hei blinked, raising his head a little bit. He had drifted off into his thoughts, almost not hearing what Wuxain said, since he said it in such a low tone, but was able to catch it.

Wuxian looked down at Xiao Hei, his eyes seeming to express something in them. He said nothing for a moment before he took a deep breath. “Where’s Feng Xi?”

Ah…

This question…

No matter how many times Xiao Hei answered, no matter what the answer he gave was, Wuxian kept repeatedly asking this question. Eventually, Xiao Hei had just given up answering. Wuxian wasn’t going to be happy with whatever answer he gave, so why should he give an answer?

Just like every other time, Xiao Hei just huffed, and rested his head back down on his hand.

Apparently, this time, ignoring the question was the wrong thing to do, because suddenly, Wuxian was standing up. His eyes filled with unwavering determination now, and Xiao Hei knew he was in trouble.

“Shifu, what’re you doing?” he asked, getting to his feet just as Wuxian was walking towards the door.

“I’m going to find Feng Xi,” Wuxian answered.

 

Nope, no way! Wuxian absolutely cannot leave in this state!!!

 

Xiao Hei reacted as quickly as possible to stop Wuxian, which was to wrap his arms around Wuxian’s waist as tightly as he could as he dug his heels into the floor.

Wuxian didn’t react right away, tugging a few times lightly as his drunken mind tried to process why he couldn’t move anymore before he turned his head to look down at Xiao Hei, frowning. “Let me go.”

In any other situation, Xiao Hei wouldn’t dare to stop his shifu from doing anything, he would never get in his way, but right now, Wuxian absolutely can’t go anywhere!

“No!” Xiao Hei shook his head, refusing to give in. “You can’t leave!”

“Xiao Hei,” Wuxian grumbled, his voice hinting on the edge of frustration as he tried to fight Xiao Hei’s grip, once again finding that he was making no progress. After realizing that trying to walk wasn’t going to get him anywhere, and that Xiao Hei was the one keeping him back, Wuxian began to stubbornly attempt at pushing Xiao Hei away.

If this was any normal time, there was no doubt in Xiao Hei’s mind that this would be a lot more difficult, as Wuxian was extremely strong physically, and Xiao Hei himself was still a child, but since Wuxian was drunk, his strength wasn’t as terrifying.

Like this, they began to fight each other, with Wuxian trying to break free of Xiao Hei’s grasp, and Xiao Hei holding him back as much as he could, having to readjust his hold every time Wuxian was successful in pulling him off. This went on for who really knows how long.

 

Really, it resembled two children fighting each other. It would certainly be a sight to see…

 

“Wuxian? Xiao Hei?”

At the sudden voice of a third person, the two stopped fighting long enough to turn to the sound of the voice, and saw a very confused looking Feng Xi staring at them with a bag in his hand. “What’s going on?”

Taking the chance while he was distracted, Wuxian shoved Xiao Hei off of himself, scrambling to get to Feng Xi. Wuxian grabbed at Feng Xi’s free arm, holding onto him tightly as he hid behind Feng Xi, as if Xiao Hei was going to hold him back again.

Letting out an annoyed huff, Xiao Hei dusted himself off a little and fixed his slightly disheveled clothing, frowning as he did so. “Xiaobai’s gramps gave me some weird alcohol he made, I tried telling him no.”

“The same kind you accidentally drank that one time?” Feng Xi asked, his eyes looking back at Wuxian, who was still hiding behind him.

Xiao Hei nodded. “Mn, same stuff. Anyways, I think shifu accidentally drank it.”

“The whole thing?”

“I don’t think shifu would be able to stand right now if he drank the whole thing…” Xiao Hei grimmanced at remembering just how intoxicated he had gotten after just one lick of it.

Feng Xi snickered a little bit, unable to help from feeling amused as he brought a hand up to gently pat Wuxian on the head. “Alright, enough ruckus. It’s late, you’ll wake up the entire building if you two keep rough housing like that.”

“Xiao Hei wouldn’t let me go find you,” Wuxian said, his expression and voice edging on pouting, but seemed content at the head pats he received.

“That’s because I already told you Feng Xi would be back soon, but you didn’t listen!”

“A drunk person never listens to reason, especially not your shifu.”

“Wanted to see you…”

“I’m here now, you can stop hiding behind me.” Feng Xi held out the bag to Xiao Hei, an amused smile on his face. “It’s time to eat, I got take out.”

Without a word, Xiao Hei snatched the bag and practically ran into the kitchen with it, practically starving by now. Wuxian refused to move, causing Feng Xi to shake his head lightly as he sighed. “You and Xiao Hei really need to stop drinking or eating weird things, it’s a bad habit.”

Even though he was drunk, Wuxian at least had half the mind to look somewhat embarrassed about his actions. He knew that the effects wouldn’t last much longer, since someone of Wuxian’s ranking could filter it through his body pretty quickly, so he quickly gave Wuxian a kiss on the temple before leading him to the kitchen for the three of them to eat together.

 

The next day, the bottle of alcohol had been emptied down the sink.