It's a beautiful winter morning. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and inside of the ever-moving mind of Kaminari Denki, a plan is forming.
"Say," he says one day in the middle of breakfast, drawing the attention of the whole class. "Hear me out, but what if Todoroki... is actually Endeavor's secret love child?"
His friends, who already know about the plan, bite down their laughter, but the rest of the class looks mystified. Todoroki in particular stops in the middle of eating his rice to look up at him.
"He is my father," he says slowly, like he's explaining it to a child. "There's no secret about it."
"I mean just think about it," Kaminari continues, undeterred. "Flames and flames, right? And Endeavor sent him an offer for his agency during the sports festival, we can't forget that."
"Bro, I think you might have a point," Sero says, right on cue. "Endeavor has blue eyes, and one of Todoroki's eyes is blue. It all adds up!"
"Of course it adds up, he's my father," Todoroki says, looking to the rest of the class for guidance. But no guidance would be found that day.
Uraraka, who has had too many articles about Bubble Girl sent her way by the boy, says, "Red hair and red hair. The shade matches too, I'm sure of it." She makes a show of color dropping a picture of Endeavor's hair, then Todoroki's hair. "Uncanny."
Shinsou, who received a bulleted list about his similarities to Aizawa-sensei on his birthday, adds, "Not just their eye color, but also their eyes in general. If you put their faces together, they're basically the same shape. It's like he's his clone or something."
"You can't hide the truth forever, Todoroki," Shouji, frequently compared to Edgeshot, says. "It all comes together perfectly." Unlike Tokoyami, he finds the antics of the class amusing for the most part.
"He's my father, that's the truth," Todoroki says with an air of finality. The rest of the class exchanges a look, almost communicating telepathically. We have to keep going. It's the only way we'll ever get any peace.
"We know it's the truth," Kirishima says, winking at him. He's gotten enough Crimson Riot family trees from Todoroki to start his own website dedicated to them. "We're just telling you what we know.
The party doesn't stop when class starts.
"Endeavor used a similar move in his battle against the Chiba gang," Midoriya, the original love child, gasps during hero training, right after Todoroki uses his fire in a spinning pattern dubbed Flaming Tornado. "I'm sure it was the same move. And the way he flicked his wrist when he finished it off was very similar to the way Endeavor cuts his attacks off..."
He continues to analyze Todoroki's moves for the rest of class, to the point where Todoroki himself says that if he doesn't stop, he'll go back to using just his ice.
"You've met my father, Midoriya," he says, almost imploringly. "So have you, Iida."
"And I kept it to myself out of respect for you," Iida replies solemnly. It took a lot of work on Uraraka's part to get him to go along with the joke, and it was only when she promised that they wouldn't take it out of hand that he complied. "I wasn't sure if you wanted the class to know, so I didn't tell anyone. Now that everyone else has been made aware of it, we will do our best to keep it out of the tabloids!"
"What a king," Ashido says. "If I had it confirmed like that for myself, I wouldn't be able to stop talking about it."
"Do you think if we ask Endeavor straight up he'll tell us, or keep denying it?" Jirou, the alleged daughter of Amplifier, asks. "Like I don't want to be on the number one hero's bad side, but also that would be golden."
"I believe he would confirm it," Yaoyorozu, who might possibly be distantly related to Sero, affirms. She said outright before that she would like as little involvement with this as possible, but she isn't lying here. If asked, Endeavor would confirm that Todoroki is his son.
"Guys, I found the yearbook from when Endeavor was at UA," Hagakure announces, heaving a large hardcover book she borrowed from the library. "They have the same resting bitch face. I can't make this stuff up. Todoroki Endeavor is real."
"You're completely right," Ojiro says, and given, he tends to say that about anything Hagakure says, but this time he puts extra emphasis into it. If he ever sees another picture of the lion hero again, it'll be too soon. So what if they're both blond and have animal powers? Same applies to Hawks, but he doesn't see anyone comparing him to Hawks. "Somehow Endeavor looks even angrier."
"He always looks like that," Todoroki sighs, temporarily on hold on his mission to make the class regain their sanity. "Apparently one time he tried to be friendly in public, and cantcha-see-kun flipped out on him."
"Pause," Kaminari says, holding up a finger. "You're saying your dad met Cantcha see-kun? That guy is a meme legend! I want his autograph so bad."
"I have a shirt with his face on it," Uraraka says cheerily. "They had it in the bargain bin at the store, so I just grabbed it. Lucky me."
"I'll buy it off you."
"How much are we talking?"
While Kaminari and Uraraka haggle over the shirt, Tokoyami (who may or may not be a Siamese twin with Dark Shadow, but that's more Midoriya's theory than anything) says, "It's odd how Endeavor never mentions Todoroki in interviews. Perhaps he isn't his father after all."
"I expected better from you, Tokoyami," Todoroki says gravely.
"That was your mistake," Tokoyami says, equally somber.
"Yes! 2000 yen, baby!" Uraraka cheers. "I'm gonna buy myself some mochi!"
Bakugou - apparently the long lost son of some explosion pro in America, not that he cares enough to search the guy up - originally stayed out of it, but after a whole week of everyone else messing with the fucker, he puts in his two cents.
"I went to Icy Hot's house," he offers with no explanation. "Endeavor was there."
Satou actually drops his glass at that. "There we have it." He quickly sweeps up the broken glass, mourning his spilled milk, but for the sake of the performance, it had to be done. Ashido nods solemnly at his sacrifice.
"We have had it already. It has been had for my entire life. The only people not having it are you." Todoroki has settled into a perpetual, Earlyroki-esque state of annoyance, calmed only by the presence of Midoriya (although the boy still refuses to take his side and let the joke die. He's the proto-love child, the original theory. He's had the worst of it.)
"And we believe you, vraiment," Aoyama, the son of five different French heroes and one American one, says resolutely. "If you ever want to publicly claim Endeavor as your father, you have our full support. We will stand by you en opposition avec any newspapers who speak against you, mon amie."
"I would believe you more fully if you were not addressing me in such a condescending tone." Todorki's tone is acidic, borderline Bakugou-esque. Midoriya rubs his arm and he settles further into the couch, sulking. "Wake me up when the joke is over."
"Your existence isn't a joke, Todoroki-kun," Midoriya says, and Kouda has to stop drinking to keep from laughing.
"Et tu, Brute," Todoroki says with an air of finality, and covers his face with a couch cushion.
Enji is... confused.
He came for Parents Day at UA, same as he did last year, except instead of asking for autographs, the students in Shouto's class are being... odd.
"Sir, can you affirm that Todoroki Shouto is indeed your son?" one of them, a black haired one, asks. He's holding his phone out to record him. Enji finds it unsettling, but maybe this is for some sort of class project?
"He is my son, and I am very proud of his achievements," he says loudly, so hopefully Shouto will hear him and respond to his texts sometimes. The boy lifts his head, makes eye contact, then turns back to his conversation with a green haired lady and her son, the boy with the quirk like All Might. Maybe next time, Shouto.
"Great, thanks!" the black haired kid says, and scurries off. But once he's gone, another kid pops up, this one with yellow hair, and asks basically the same question. Enji answers the same way to him, and to the pink haired girl, and to the red haired boy, and to the invisible girl.
"Shouto, your classmates are strange," he says later when he finally gets Shouto alone. "They keep asking me-"
"If you're my father?" Shouto interrupts. "They think they're amusing. Don't pay them any mind." The annoyance in his eyes surprises Enji; he's not used to seeing such strong emotions on his stoic son.
"But why are they asking-"
"Don't. Pay. Them. Any. Mind." He huffs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I need a favor to ask of you. As you know, I normally ask as little as possible from you, so you should know that this is urgent."
Enji doesn't know what to make of the complete 180 degree shift the conversation took, but he goes along with it because Shouto is talking to him and looking him in the eyes. "What is it, Shouto?" Whatever it is, he'll give it to his son.
"And now, our final guest of the night, Endeavor!"
The television host welcomes Endeavor onto the couch beside him, and back at UA, the TV is playing it live. Shouto made sure of it, in addition to calling the entire class to the living room to watch.
"Everyone, silence," he says, turning the volume louder. "This should finally persuade you to drop the charade. If this cannot accomplish that, then there is no god."
"Right, because this is all god's doing," Bakugou grumbles, annoyed that they're all stuck watching a shitty talk show when college quirked rugby is playing right on the next channel over.
On the screen, the host says, "I understand you were the one to ask to be on the show for some sort of announcement. What is it exactly you wanted to say?"
"I just wanted to tell my son, Shouto, that I'm proud of him," Endeavor says confidently, looking straight into the camera. "My son Todoroki Shouto. From UA. Who is my biological son. My youngest son as well."
Shouto had made it very clear to him that he was to repeat the word "son" as many times as he could, and he's following through with it. With a sigh, Shouto finally unblocks his father's number from his phone, his own side of the bargain.
"Oh, uh, very nice," the host says uncertainly, not having been informed of this beforehand, but the show continues anyway. Shouto shuts off the TV then, having displayed what he meant to display.
"See?" he practically demands, staring into Kaminari's eyes in particular. "There it is, in full color. Endeavor is my father. It is out in the open. You do not have to pretend any longer."
There was a silence in the room for a minute, mostly everybody wondering if they took things too far that Todoroki went and did that. It was meant to be a harmless form of comeuppance, a short laugh in reference to Todoroki's own regular endeavors. Iida almost apologizes out loud, right then and there.
"Nah, I don't buy it," Kaminari says with a shrug. He blinks innocently at Shouto, but his smirk gives his true feelings away. "It's too obvious. There has to be a catch. You probably paid him to say that."
Shouto is dumbfounded. He tries to speak, but his throat is completely dry with shock.
"I propose that Todoroki's secretly two quirk users in a trench coat," Shouji says serenely, eyes closed like he's about to take a nap. Like none of this matters in the slightest to him. "Or perhaps he's actually Endeavor's father from the past." Tokoyami looks at his friend as if it's for the first time. Shouji shrugs. What can I do but go with the flow?
"If Todoroki-kun is a fusion between two people, it would explain why his hair and eyes are split so evenly down the middle..." Midoriya mumbles, pulling his pen from his hair and grabbing for a piece of paper.
"All in favor of the 'Todoroki is a firebender' theory, say aye," Ashido says. A chorus of ayes travels throughout the room, even from people who have no idea what she's talking about. Evidently some people didn't listen to her when she assigned them to binge watch Avatar over summer vacation last year.
Shouto's eye twitches, then his right hand. Shinsou has only one second to pull his hood over his face before the blast of ice hits him and everyone else in the room.
"T-totally worth it," Kaminari shivers fifteen minutes later, after being excavated from Todoroki's ice along with the rest of his classmates. The whole common room had been overflown with it, and it took much convincing on Aizawa's part to get Todoroki to thaw it at all.
"They left me no other option," he had said crossly, and Aizawa had no response to that. In retrospect, he probably should have seen this coming. Playing a joke on a Todoroki never went well. He still heard stories from Recovery Girl about what happened last time someone tried to prank Endeavor. Third degree burns all around, and scorch marks on the walls to match. At least Todoroki didn't do more lasting damage than a bad cold, although it will be annoying to teach a class of sniffling children for the next week or so. He'll have to bring this up at parent-teacher conferences.
"Definitely," Sero says, sneezing. "We d-did good. I'd die for the m-meme." A total lie. Getting encased in ice twice by Todoroki is enough for a lifetime, thank you very much. He can still hear the echoes of nice try now...
"How a-about we all agree n-not to mention Endeavor e-ever again," Ashido says, shaking violently beneath her blanket. Almost everyone in the class is in the same state, with only Midoriya and Yaoyorozu spared.
They all agree with wide eyes, then spare a look at Todoroki, who looks like he's finally enjoying himself. He wears the slightest hint of a smirk, the closest any of them have seen from him. It's almost scary how smug he looks.
"Keep the blankets," he says evenly, his smile growing to almost normal size, which is astronomical on him. "They're a present from my father."
Kaminari almost says something, but holds his tongue. Contrary to what the events of the previous two weeks may suggest, he does not, in fact, have a death wish.