It happened one week before.
Reid spent the night at Morgan's and woke up when the sun started filtering through the blinds. He was laying on his side, facing his boyfriend. He didn't open his eyes right away, but he could feel the body heat of the other man, so he knew he was there, even though they weren't touching. Just knowing Morgan was there brought him a lot of comfort and warmth to his heart. He felt a hand softly, very softly, stroking his side. Derek was awake and he knew Reid was no longer sleeping too. Fighting the sleepiness, the younger man slowly started to open his eyes. He was met with sight that made him think that the paradise so many people obsessed over couldn't possibly beat this. Morgan was on his side too, facing him, with his head resting on his hand and his other hand still travelling gently up and down Reid's side. Just that was a sight to behold, but what really caught Spencer in the moment was the man's smile. It was soft and the most beautiful thing Reid could ever imagine. And his eyes, the way he was looking at Spencer, it left him with this tingly and happy feeling on his chest. It made him wonder how could be possibly be worth of being looked at like that by a man so amazing and wonderful. Because what he saw in those eyes was an overwhelming warmth and care and affection and...
"I love you," Morgan said soflty, but surely, with no hesitation.
Reid was positive he stopped breathing for a few seconds. It was the first time he ever heard those words directed at him in non familial or platonic way. And they were being said by the man he loved so much that he started wondering if it was possible to love too much. But he had never saw those words to Morgan either. He had always been afraid. They were together for a few months now, and so far it was a bliss. But Reid was always expecting for the other shoe to drop. He knew he loved Derek for a long time, but he never dared to say it out loud. He always felt like he was not enough for what he believed Derek deserved, and inevitably Derek would realized that. But while that didn't happen, he decided to enjoy every second he had with the man he loved. A man that he knew cared deeply about him, but didn't believe it went as far as love.
But now here he was. Morgan said he loved him, and surprisingly he believed him. Maybe not surprisingly, because he knew Derek Morgan and he would never be so cruel to say those words without meaning them. He didn't think he was worth's of this man's love, but Morgan clearly thought differently. And really, it was Morgan's decision. Reid felt so unbelievingly happy in that morning, and he had to gather all his strength not to start crying, because this moment was too overwhelming. And he knew if he said those words back, it would be nothing but the truth, but somehow the words didn't leave his lips.
"Derek..." was all that left his lips in a shaky breath.
Morgan didn't seem to mind that it wasn't said back, judging by the smile that never faltered in his face. He simply scooched closer, tangling their legs and his hand wandered from Reid's side to his back nudging his lover closer gently. Then he leaned forward and captured Reid's lips in his in the sweetest kiss.
Reid swore he had never felt so happy.
That happened one week ago, and since then he hadn't said it back. He wasn't sure what he was afraid of. That if said it Derek would realized he hadn't meant it and take it back? No, that's ridiculous. He was definitely afraid that Morgan was upset he hadn't said it back, but at the same time he felt that if he just said it now, Morgan would think he was just saying to say it back. He wasn't sure what was keeping him back, but all he knew was that when he said it, he had to be sure Morgan would understand how much he meant it, how much he loved him. It had to be right.
But then he found himself staring at the love of his life sitting talking with Hotch, with ambulances not far away and paramedic removing glass pieces from his shoulders and back. He watched him winced from the pain as the paramedics worked. The Reaper had almost gotten him. No, the Reaper got him, but had decided to let him go. The Reaper could have easily killed him, he had held Morgan's life in his hands, his lover's life or death was a decision of a killer, and he decided to let him live. The thougth that Morgan was alive as whim of megalomaniac serial killer was driving him crazy, but he knew that's exactly what the Reaper took pleasure in. He was so close to losing the love of his life and the thought was too unbearable.
He approached the pair. Hotch caught his eye and gestured to the paramedics to go with him, to give the couple some privacy.
They stared at each other silently. Then Morgan lifted his arm and cupped Reid's cheek with his hand and the younger man leaned his head into the touch, letting his eyes flutter closed. The hand was warm and alive and he felt relief wash over his body. He brought his hand up to cover his boyfriend's, letting it stay there for a few moments, before holding Morgan's hand and bringing it down in his own. Then he just stared at the hand on his hand, feeling its warmth and feeling it respond to his butterfly touches. It was alive. Morgan was alive. His love was alive. He finally intertwine their fingers and looked up.
'You could have died' was the first thing that crossed his mind to say, but he didn't. 'Don't you ever dare do this to me again' was the second, but that wasn't fair, it wasn't Morgan's fault. 'You scared me, I couldn't handle not having you here' sounded more reasonable, but he didn't say that either.
"I love you," was what came out instead. His voice was fragile and it broke a little somewhere in the little of the word 'love', but he knew it was because his voice was so heavy with emotion.
"I know," the older man said in return.
Reid snorted. Was Morgan really pulling a Star Wars reference right now? Morgan simply smiled wider at the sound. He then pulled the younger man closer, as their hands were still connected. He let go of his hand, chosing to throw his arm around the body of the thinner man instead, snuggling him to his chest. He kissed the top of Reid's head and rested his chin there.
For a while they stayed like that, Reid pressed to Morgan's chest, hearing his heart beat. His own chest was feeling lighter, because he finally said the words, and his heart beating at faster rate than Morgan's, but it slowed down as seconds went by.
"You really knew?" Reid finally broke the peaceful silence.
"I had very good suspicions," the other replied amused.
There was a few more moments of silence.
"I didn't," Reid said so quietly, that he wondered if Morgan even heard him, especially when Morgan didn't say anything for quite a few seconds.
"Yeah, that's why I knew I had to say it," Morgan finally said.
"Will you say it again?" Reid asked soflty, almost afraid to be heard.
"Everyday, pretty boy."
The older man pushed the other back a little, just enough to nudge his chin and be able to look him in the eye.
"I love you," Morgan said.
"I love you too," Reid replied smiling.
Morgan leaned and kissed Reid. The kiss was full of love and it was gentle and sweet and... well, salty. Because after the turmoil of emotions the young man had gone through in the last hours, a tear had finally fought its way out.