Tsuzuru hadn’t known what he’d been expecting, but the modest one bedroom apartment certainly hadn’t been it.
Looking around through his soaked bangs, Tsuzuru can still see signs of Kaya’s wealth : the wide-screen TV behind the coffee table, the sparse yet expensive and tasteful decor, the luxurious looking couch, the shiny well-equipped kitchen he can glimpse from the entrance. But it doesn’t scream ‘filthy rich’ at him like he’d half-expected it to.
“What? Were you expecting me to have a wall of Rollex watches or something?” Kaya asks, visibly amused as he holds his hand out to take Tsuzuru’s coat, just as wet as he is.
Cheeks warming, Tsuzuru hands over his drenched coat as he steps into the apartment properly, all too aware of his wet socks squelching against the polished wood floor - Tsuzuru isn’t sure he’s ever walked on anything so expensive - hair dripping excess water onto the once-dry surface.
“People have those?” he asks curiously, still taking everything in and trying not to move too much to avoid tracking water everywhere. The space is small but so far looks well laid out, functional enough for two people to move around comfortably. Tsuzuru quickly shoves that thought away as he looks to his boyfriend when he laughs.
“Oh, Tsuzuru you have no idea, I’ve had someone brag to me about his custom-made wall covered in diamonds.” The amusement in Kaya’s face, his cheeks flushed and glittering with rain water, is almost distracting enough for Tsuzuru to completely gloss over his words.
“I will never ask about rich people’s extravagant purchases ever again,” he decides, torn between disgust and bewilderment about some people and their flamboyant tastes, feeling good about himself when Kaya only laughs harder, loud and bright and oh so free.
This, the soaked man laughing so hard he has tears in his eyes, is his.
Tsuzuru still can’t quite believe it, not after all these years spent wondering about the boy who had disappeared one day, after all the months of exchanging letters once they’d finally found each other again, and here, tonight, after many more months of tentative friendly meet ups that had grown into dates, of shy smiles and lingering touches, here Tsuzuru stands, doing a bad impression of a drowned rat, in none other than Mizuno Kaya’s apartment.
“The look on your face…” Kaya murmurs with a fond smile as he straightens up and takes a deep breath, a couple of water droplets falling from his hair, “Okay, would you like to take a shower?”
Tsuzuru would love a shower, but this is Kaya’s place, so of course-
“You go first,” he answers with a smile of his own, “I wouldn’t mind a towel while I wait for you though, if that’s okay,” Tsuzuru lifts his arms in an unnecessary motion to show off how wet he is. Not that Kaya doesn’t already know; he’s just as drenched as Tsuzuru is, and staring right at him.
Kaya, lovely, gentle Kaya though, just smiles and shakes his head.
“You go first. You’re the guest here, and if our roles were swapped you wouldn’t take the first shower,” Kaya says, taking a tentative step closer to Tsuzuru and looking up at him through his lashes, “Besides, it’s my fault we got caught in the rain without an umbrella.”
Unable to keep himself from making a face from the way Kaya has already shut down every argument Tsuzuru could have to not take the first shower, the playwright still tries to think of something. Kaya is merciless though.
“Besides, the longer we argue about who gets to shower first, the more risk we run of getting sick.”
Let it be known that while Kaya is a gentle soul, he’s also the successful son of a business man and very good at his job when he wants to be. And he just went straight for Tsuzuru’s weakness.
“Fine!” Tsuzuru gives in with a sigh, the small smile on his lips rendering his pout useless. Kaya laughs again, softer this time, covering his mouth slightly to muffle the sound, and points into his apartment.
“The bathroom is the door on the left. Towels are in the cupboard under the sink, help yourself to whatever soap and shampoo you need,” Kaya tells him, biting his lip to keep his smile under control, and Tsuzuru’s gaze zeroes in on the motion.
“Okay… Thanks,” he whispers before tentatively leaning in and stealing the briefest of kisses, a gentle brush of the lips, and turning around, face flaming as he rushes towards the bathroom, forgetting to worry about the water he’s dripping into the apartment.
Shutting the door behind himself, Tsuzuru drags his hand down his burning face, feeling silly for reacting so strongly to such an innocent and simple gesture.
This is Kaya though. Mizuno Kaya who Tsuzuru has known for most of his life. Kaya who, because the Minagi family was poor and the Mizuno family wasn’t, had been separated from him.
Kaya, who had somehow found his way back to Tsuzuru and written a letter that had single-handedly pulled him out of writer’s block.
Kaya, who had kept writing for months, still punishing himself for breaking a promise when he’d still had no control over his situation.
Kaya, who had bowed at the waist one afternoon and asked if Tsuzuru wanted to get dinner with him at the ramen place down the road.
There’s an uncertainty here still. Something fragile that the both of them are so afraid of breaking. Tsuzuru thinks it’s because of their shared past, of the way Kaya had been so easily taken from him over differences in social standing and wealth.
Even now, here Tsuzuru stands, in a simple but immaculate and modern apartment, and he can’t help but worry that history will repeat itself. After all, Tsuzuru lives in the dorm of a theatre company that, although gaining in popularity once more, has seen better days, paint peeling and walls cracked.
A drop of water drips from his hair and onto his nose, and Tsuzuru is reminded of the fact that Kaya is somewhere inside this one-bedroom apartment that’s the perfect size for two people, soaked and cold and waiting for his turn for the shower, and he leaps into action.
Somehow, washing his hair with Kaya’s shampoo feels more intimate than using his shower, than writing entire plays for him and sharing secret kisses in front of the Mankai theatre, and Tsuzuru hides his burning face in a fluffy towel once he’s done, drying himself in a hurry before he stops abruptly the second he goes to get dressed.
He can’t very well put his drenched clothes back on now, can he?
So, flush creeping down his neck, Tsuzuru wraps the towel snugly around his waist and tentatively walks back into the living room, not seeing Kaya and turning to the adjacent kitchen instead, separated from the living room by an island and its two barstools.
There he is. Kaya has his back to him, a towel around his neck, catching the water from his hair. Tsuzuru stands and stares, because this is something he’d never quite expected he’d get to see.
Gone are the suits and the ties, and gone are the polished looks and skinny jeans and ironed polo shirts. Here, Kaya is relaxed in his own home, his own space, shoulders loose and clothes even looser, a basic white t-shirt hanging off his lithe frame while baby blue jogging bottoms rest low on his hips.
Tsuzuru watches, almost in slow-motion, as Kaya turns around to face him, and finally breaks out of his trance.
The tiny noise comes from Kaya, who’s cheeks are growing redder by the second as he looks anywhere but at Tsuzuru.
“I uh- there are clothes on the back of the couch for you. I- I hope they fit you okay,” his boyfriend murmurs, clearing his throat and quickly turning around again before he continues, “I-if not we’ll have to find another solution…”
Tsuzuru’s own face his burning, even as his heart flutters at the knowledge that he’s the one who’s making Kaya’s ears go red. He remembers his fears from a few minutes ago and decides he’s a fool to be worrying about such things when it’s obvious that Kaya is just as scared as he is.
It’s them though, and they’d found each other even when fate had tried to pull them apart.
“Thanks,” he whispers, and with a nod that Kaya can’t see, Tsuzuru turns around quickly to go get the clothes and disappear back into the bathroom.
It’s a little adorable and a lot funny how tight the shirt is on him. Tsuzuru is pretty sure it’s supposed to be the same one that Kaya is wearing, but the difference in sizes between the two of them is suddenly made obvious, material stretching over his chest and clinging to his upper arms, seams digging almost uncomfortably into his armpits.
At least the jogging bottoms -a dark grey that was probably once black, material threadbare but so comfortable and soft it’s clear that they’re a favourite pair- fit him better, only a little tight around his thighs.
Returning to the living room and unable to keep his amused smile in check, Tsuzuru waits for Kaya to look at him.
It doesn’t take long, the man turning around with two cups of steaming tea, pausing at the sight of Tsuzuru and blinking in shock before he laughs.
“How are you so much bigger than me? You’re only a few centimetres taller,” Kaya remarks forlornly as he puts the cups down onto the coffee table, but the amusement doesn’t leave his face and Tsuzuru chuckles, shrugging.
“It’s all the acting I’m doing,” he answers easily, making Kaya give up on looking put off by their size difference and smile at him softly.
“Not to mention all those part time jobs you’ve had. I’m quite the lucky one, to have such a multi-talented b-boyfriend.”
It would have been smooth if not for the slight stutter over the word ‘boyfriend’ which makes Kaya blush even as he visibly fights to stay composed, and Tsuzuru can’t help but grin, completely smitten with him and this awkwardness he’s displaying in the face of their still-new relationship.
“I don’t know,” he answers, “I think I’m pretty lucky too.”
Kaya’s blush darkens and he looks away briefly, composing himself by letting out a quick breath of air and moving towards Tsuzuru.
“I guess we’re both lucky then,” he whispers, leaning up, and Tsuzuru knows to tilt his head down just enough that they can meet in the middle and share a tender kiss, brief and innocent.
With a shared smile and a lingering touch of their hands, Kaya leaves for the bathroom for his turn in the shower.
Tsuzuru sits down heavily on the couch, groaning blissfully at how comfortable it is, and stares up at the ceiling, allowing a giddy smile to take over his features, covering his eyes with one arm in a half-hearted attempt to hide.
Who knew tonight would go so well? Sure their dates usually do, but this is something Tsuzuru had never thought to expect, between the surprise downpour and Kaya deciding they were close enough to his place to seek shelter instead of waiting it out, and now here Tsuzuru sits, on Kaya’s comfortable couch in his expensive-looking apartment.
Before his thoughts can wonder back to the size of it and how it can comfortably fit two people, Tsuzuru pulls his arm away and starts looking around, picking up one of the cups and using it to warm his hands.
There’s a decently sized bookshelf filled to the brim with books, mainly plays from the looks of it, along with a couple of classics. The two barstools at the kitchen island hint at shared breakfasts and the smell of coffee, while the desk in the corner, laptop and several files resting atop it, has room for another in the empty space next to it. Even with all the expensive furniture, the place isn’t gaudy and filled with clutter, it’s simple and well-kept, homey and lived in. Warm and welcoming.
It feels like Kaya, and Tsuzuru smiles softly.
So lost had he been in his musings, Tsuzuru hadn’t noticed Kaya returning, and he lets out a yelp of surprise, almost spilling his tea, when he’s suddenly presented with an article of clothing.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you,” Kaya apologizes, bowing his head, and Tsuzuru recovers quickly, putting his cup down and shaking his head.
“It’s fine, I was off in lala-land,” he responds, looking to the clothing in his boyfriend’s hand, thinking it looks familiar until he takes it and unfolds it.
Tsuzuru remembers a fourth meet-up, a not-yet-date, spent in a book-store. Remembers cool autumn winds and the way Kaya had shivered. Remembers unzipping his hoodie and handing it over. Remembers the warm touch of hands and the stuttering of words. Amazed, he looks back to Kaya.
“You kept it?”
Kaya shrugs and smiles sheepishly, sitting next to Tsuzuru, thighs touching.
“Ah… I’m sorry I didn’t give it back. It’s just very comfortable and warm, and every time we would see each other I’d forget to bring it…” Kaya pauses, hesitates, “You can… You can finally have it back though. It is yours after all. I just figured it’d be more comfortable than any of my shirts, which are obviously going to all be too small.”
Staring at him as Kaya finishes rambling, something he doesn’t often get to witness, Tsuzuru smiles and puts the hoodie in his lap, steeling himself for a moment -they’re boyfriends for Pete's sake, Tsuzuru can show a bit of skin without blushing like a Victorian maiden- before he pulls the t-shirt off carefully, almost peeling it off with how tight it is.
Hearing Kaya’s sharp intake of breath is worth the flush creeping up Tsuzuru’s cheeks as he briefly glances over and catches him staring at his now exposed chest.
Had he been braver and less awkward, Tsuzuru would have lingered and teased.
Except this thing between them is still new and both of them are unsure of how to handle it, taking tentative and clumsy steps together into the unknown. So Tsuzuru pulls his hoodie on and zips it up halfway, sparing them both.
Later, he thinks. Later, when they’ve grown from the awkwardness and have settled comfortably into each other’s intimacy, he’ll roam around this very apartment shirtless and confident.
For now though, he gets to enjoy Kaya’s blush, even as he’s aware of his own warm cheeks.
“I’ll give it back,” Tsuzuru says, watching as his boyfriend’s eyes go wide, “Or you can pick another one if you’d like. I have enough to choose from…” he clears his throat, “This isn’t even one of my nicer ones.”
It only takes a moment for Kaya to lean in and gently take hold of the zipper, playing with it idly, the gesture gentle and intimate in a way that makes Tsuzuru melt a little.
“Maybe not, but I like this one,” Kaya says quietly, eyes meeting Tsuzuru’s, holding him in place with the look alone, “It’s special.”
Words don’t quite feel like enough to convey what Tsuzuru feels, because he knows what Kaya means. Because he has a letter that lives above his desk and a dandelion, pressed and carefully made into a bookmark with Sakuya and Taichi’s help, that makes his heart skip a beat every time he sees it.
“Okay,” is all Tsuzuru says before leaning in and brushing their noses together, slow and tender, daring to close the extra gap and seal their lips in a kiss.
A hand grips his hoodie as Kaya goes from playing with the zipper to clutching gently at the fabric, and Tsuzuru starts to move his lips slowly, tentatively, only resting his palm against Kaya’s thigh to ground himself and allow his boyfriend the space he needs if he wants to pull away.
Tsuzuru feels more than hears the sigh that leaves Kaya, feels the gentle puff of air and the way soft lips part ever so slightly against his own. The motion sends courage through his veins as his heart sings in delight, and Tsuzuru briefly parts from the kiss to reposition himself, tilting his head just a little more and letting his other hand come up to gently cup Kaya’s cheek, shower-damp hair tickling his fingertips.
Bringing their lips together again, Tsuzuru lets himself get lost in the sensation and slowly, carefully, shyly, parts his lips, almost curious, heart thundering against his ribcage when he feels Kaya follow the motion and a tongue come out to brush carefully against his, slow and coaxing, encouraging Tsuzuru into his boyfriend’s mouth.
Exhaling a content sigh through his nose, Tsuzuru takes the invitation for what it is and allows himself to follow Kaya down to lay atop him on the couch as he hesitantly explores his mouth, tongues brushing, teeth knocking clumsily until they move to realign, breathless chuckles mingling as they grow comfortable together, kissing like this for the first time, exhilarating and thrilling.
They part minutes later, and Tsuzuru rests his forehead against Kaya’s, taking a moment to breathe in slowly before opening his eyes, greeted with the gentle and sparkling gaze of his boyfriend.
“…Wow…” Kaya whispers.
“Yeah…” is all Tsuzuru can answer, heart still racing as he buries his face in Kaya’s neck, a giddy smile tugging at his lips.
Next thing he knows, Kaya’s arms slip from where they’d been gripping the back of his hoodie to wrap around his neck as he hides against Tsuzuru’s shoulder and lets out a quiet laugh that Tsuzuru mimics, and soon they’re a giggling mess of tangled limbs, high on affection and first times.
It takes them a moment to settle again, neither of them moving from the comfortable position, Tsuzuru remaining careful not to crush Kaya under his weight.
“It’s still raining…” he breathes as the sound of the rain reaches him at last.
“It is…” Kaya answers, nuzzling into his shoulder, “And it’s already late, you should stay here tonight,” he adds quietly, timid and breathless.
Tsuzuru’s heart stutters and his breath catches. He nuzzles into Kaya’s neck some more and tightens his grip on him only briefly before relaxing again.
“Are you sure?” he whispers, needing to be certain that Kaya is okay with it. Both of them afraid of moving too fast -it had taken them two months to link their hands when no one was looking, and another two to share their first kiss- he knows nothing will happen tonight, neither of them ready for anything more than the languid kisses they’d just exchanged, but he doesn’t want to start pushing boundaries either, even if it’s just sharing a space for more than a few hours.
Kaya pulls away from his hiding spot in Tsuzuru’s shoulder, moving one hand to stroke through his still damp hair.
“Positive, I don’t want you going back in this weather,” he murmurs, and Tsuzuru feels his cheeks grow warm all over again at the caring he can hear in the words, one that speaks of a lifetime of tender thoughts.
“Okay,” Tsuzuru answers, pulling himself up to rest on his forearms so he can look down at Kaya, clearing his throat and voicing his next question, awkward even though he knows the answer already, but needs to hear it put out in the open, thinks the both of them do, “We’re uh, not- not going to uh- to do anything though, right?”
It takes a moment, Kaya blinking at him, tiny frown pinching his eyebrows together in confusion before mild horror takes over his features and his face blooms a red that rivals a tomato’s.
“No! N-no! De-definitely not no! I wasn’t- I didn’t mean for- I must profusely apologize if you thought that I wanted-”
A laugh bubbles it’s way out of Tsuzuru before he can catch it, relieved and full of adoration for the man laying under him and stuttering his way through his words in polite speech.
Thankfully his laughter halts Kaya in his steps and makes him frown, lips pouting cutely.
“Don’t laugh…” Kaya grumbles and Tsuzuru finally calms down enough to bump their foreheads together gently, smile softening fondly as he looks into his eyes.
“No you’re not,” comes Kaya’s retort, but his face has softened into a smile that matches Tsuzuru’s, “But no, we won’t be doing anything tonight,” he adds, looking away briefly, “Unless you’re up for some more kissing, which I don’t think I’d be adverse to.”
The teasing in his boyfriend’s voice isn’t quite new - Kaya has teased him before, most notably a couple of months ago, when Tsuzuru had been so busy staring he’d walked into a wall - but it feels different now. Because here, in Kaya’s apartment, this is where he’s most comfortable, and Tsuzuru is getting to see all of him. More than the suits, more than the polite smiles he offers to passers-by and book-store staff.
More than letters and flowers and childhood memories, this is Mizuno Kaya in his entirety.
And here, in this cosy apartment, Kaya is letting himself be free with Tsuzuru as they take another tentative step forward together into being completely comfortable in each other’s space.
Tsuzuru smiles and brushes their noses together.
“I’m not about to turn down kissing,” he whispers, smile growing into a grin when Kaya laughs and moves up to seal their lips in a kiss.
Later, when their lips are red and swollen from languid touches and their tea has long gone cold, when they’ve sat up to curl together, watching the credits after an episode of the drama Kaya likes, a thought comes to Tsuzuru.
“Ah, my clothes…”
“Hm?” Kaya hums, sleepy and relaxed under Tsuzuru’s arm, curled into his side, “Clothes?”
“Yeah,” Tsuzuru answers, letting his free hand brush through Kaya’s hair, the locks messy from where they’d dried in an awkward position, “I didn’t do anything with my clothes after I showered,” he explains quietly, feeling guilty. It’s not like him either, leaving clothes hanging around. He’s no slob, not usually.
“It’s fine, I put them in the wash with mine, figured you wouldn’t mind,” Kaya murmurs, shifting so he can get closer to the fingers in his hair. Tsuzuru thinks his eyes are closed, but he can’t see from their current position, “I’ll put them in the drier before we go to bed, so you can have them back in the morning.”
With a smile, fond and grateful, Tsuzuru leans in to nose against Kaya’s temple.
“Thank you,” he murmurs, placing a tender kiss to the skin there, “Speaking of bed, I think we should consider going to sleep soon, don’t you?”
“I agree,” Kaya answers, slowly -reluctantly- pulling away from the embrace and rising to his feet.
Tsuzuru stays where he is, watching Kaya, sleepy and comfortable as he is, with his baggy clothes and messy hair, so different to what he shows the rest of the world.
Another thing then, for him to treasure.
His wordless admiration is broken by Kaya extending a hand to him, and Tsuzuru looks at it curiously, taking it and turning his gaze to lock with Kaya’s in silent question.
Kaya snorts a laugh and shakes his head with a smile.
“You’re the one who suggested we go to bed, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten…”
Frankly, Tsuzuru had been fully expecting to spend the night here on the couch -it’s certainly comfortable enough- and hadn’t entertained the thought of sharing Kaya’s bed tonight.
But now that the thought has indeed made it into his mind, Tsuzuru finds that instead of being embarrassed and uncertain, he rather likes the idea, wants to take another step and find out if Kaya likes to cuddle in his sleep or if he hogs the blankets.
With the curiosity settling like a blanket in his mind, making itself at home, Tsuzuru stands and follows Kaya deeper into his apartment.
Guiding him to the bathroom, Kaya releases his hand and opens a cupboard, pulls out a toothbrush, unwraps it form it’s packaging and hands it to Tsuzuru.
“Here,” he offers.
Once Tsuzuru has taken the toothbrush, Kaya smiles at him and picks up his own lonely toothbrush, squeezing toothpaste onto it before handing that to Tsuzuru as well.
While Tsuzuru starts brushing his teeth, Kaya multi-tasks and turns around to tend to the laundry, transferring wet clothes from the washer and into the drier.
The domesticity of it could be jarring, but all Tsuzuru can do is bask in it and enjoy the moment, letting his fears for the future wash away in the comfort of Kaya’s company. Especially when the man turns around and moves to stand next to Tsuzuru at the sink, smiling at him through their reflection in the mirror as they finish brushing their teeth together.
Their size difference is clear here, in the small space, the top of Kaya’s head only reaching Tsuzuru’s ear, his body lithe and slender, dwarfed a little by the loose shirt. In comparison, Tsuzuru’s shoulders are broad (something he’s not used to noticing, between Tasuku, Omi and Juza back at Mankai) and he thinks that Kaya looks like he could fit perfectly against his chest.
The sight of Kaya leaning down into the sink breaks Tsuzuru from his thoughts and he blinks as he watches Kaya look back up at him, amusement clear in his features.
“What are you thinking about? You looked miles away,” he tells Tsuzuru, wiping his mouth on a towel next to him.
“You,” Tsuzuru answers without thinking twice, feeling stupid when it causes toothpaste foam to dribble down his chin. At least he gets a loud laugh from Kaya for his stupidity, his boyfriend shaking his head and grinning at him.
“I’m right here though,” Kaya says, cheeks a lovely pink, and with that he slips out of the door.
Almost tripping over himself in his haste to follow, Tsuzuru quickly finishes, spitting the foam into the sink and rinsing his mouth out with water, tentatively using the same towel Kaya just had, and returns to the corridor, catching sight of a door left ajar, light pouring from it.
Guessing that must be the bedroom, Tsuzuru looks at the door next to it and carefully opens it, relieved when it’s what he was looking for.
Minutes later, once Tsuzuru has relieved himself and washed his hands, he knocks twice on the door of the bedroom before slowly opening it, giving Kaya time to tell him to stop if he needs it.
No sound comes though, so Tsuzuru enters, catching sight of Kaya closing a cupboard door and turning to him with a smile, cheeks still pink.
“Ah, I hope you don’t mind…This is how I usually sleep…” he murmurs, shifting on his feet.
Tsuzuru takes in the change, barely a difference other than the fact that Kaya has forgone the jogging bottoms and now stands in only his boxers and the t-shirt, and with a shake of his head, he ignores his own warm cheeks and steps closer, letting his fingers tangle with his boyfriend’s.
“Of course I don’t mind, I want you to be comfortable,” he says softly, “It’s okay if I sleep in these right?” he adds, gesturing to the jogging bottoms.
Kaya nods and clears his throat, looking away momentarily, likely reminded of the fact that Tsuzuru had left the boxers that had been offered to him in the bathroom, unable to fit in them.
“Yes. Yes it’s fine, that’s why I gave them to you, since I thought they’d be comfortable enough to sleep in…” Kaya still isn’t looking at him and Tsuzuru lets that sentence sink in for a moment until a quiet laugh falls from his lips.
Of course Kaya had planned ahead. Of course he had…
“Thanks,” Tsuzuru says at last, leaning down to kiss a warm cheek, “I’m lucky to have such a thoughtful boyfriend.”
“You are,” Kaya answers in a rare show of cockiness, “Now get into bed so we can cuddle and I can pretend I’m not about to have an anxiety attack over sleeping with you.”
There it is. Kaya has just voiced the elephant in the room, the way Tsuzuru’s heart has been pounding in his chest ever since he’d let Kaya guide him to the bathroom and his cheeks have refused to lose their rosy colour, all of it summed into one sentence.
Being reminded that he’s not the only one unsure of himself, stumbling forward and hoping not to trip, helps Tsuzuru more than he’d expected it to. So he leans down and kisses Kaya softly, lingering only a moment before pulling away again.
“Okay,” he whispers, “But you’ll have to forgive the amount of noise my heart is making.”
It’s his own way of sharing that he’s just as insecure, of letting Kaya know he’s not alone in his fear of tripping just like his boyfriend has just done for him.
And it’s enough, because Kaya’s shoulders drop and he exhales shakily, squeezing their linked hands for a moment, releasing them as he moves towards the bed and unfurls the covers, shuffling onto the mattress and laying down stiffly.
All the while, Tsuzuru watches him, and shifts on his feet awkwardly. His hand comes up to the zipper of his hoodie, aware he can’t sleep comfortably in it, and he slowly undoes it, letting the clothing fall from his shoulders as he turns his back to Kaya, folding it carefully and placing it atop another pile of clothes before he finally turns around.
Kaya is staring, eyes glued to Tsuzuru, and he looks away the second he realizes he’s been caught, cheeks a cherry red that Tsuzuru wants to kiss away.
Instead of saying anything and risking making the moment even more awkward than it is, Tsuzuru pads over and carefully, tentatively, slides into the bed next to Kaya.
They stare at each other for a long moment.
“We forgot to turn the light off.” Kaya says at last.
The hilarity of the situation hits Tsuzuru then; the two of them are laying in bed, stiff as boards, staring at each other in some odd kind of showdown, and they’d forgotten the most basic of things people do before going to sleep.
It’s Kaya’s snort of laughter that sets them off, ugly and adorable and beautiful and Tsuzuru laughs with him until they’re curled into each other and laughing breathlessly.
“I’ll go,” Kaya whispers once they’ve calmed down, grinning at Tsuzuru as he climbs over him to get out of the bed, making Tsuzuru squawk in surprise and prompting another laugh out of Kaya.
The light above their heads goes out, and the room dims into a softer, more intimate glow as the bedside lamp that Tsuzuru is only now noticing takes over the job of keeping the darkness at bay.
The mood shifts with the lighting, and Kaya returns to the bed, rolling back over Tsuzuru again, slower this time, allowing their bodies to touch and stay together as he curls onto his side and into Tsuzuru, his boyfriend moving as well to get comfortable.
“Hi,” Kaya whispers once they’re face to face, foreheads touching and limbs tangling.
“Hi to you too,” Tsuzuru returns quietly with a tender smile, “Think you can sleep like this?”
“Only one way to find out, right?” comes the teasing murmur, and Tsuzuru chuckles, closing his eyes and breathing in slowly.
“Yeah, can I turn out the light?”
“Let me do it,” and with that, Kaya rolls over him again and Tsuzuru laughs breathlessly as darkness envelops them.
“I’m starting to think you just like climbing all over me.”
“Oh no, I’ve been found out!”
They laugh together, free and easy, limbs tangled, buried in each other’s embrace, and whisper the night away until sleep finally claims them as the sun starts peeking through the curtains.
Tsuzuru sleeps better than he has in years.
(Kaya cuddles in his sleep and doesn’t hog the blankets, but he does snore. It’s okay though, Tsuzuru loves him anyway.)