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What to expect (When you're expecting)

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The weeks after the Daxamite invasion went by like a blur. Lena didn’t see the hours passing by and didn’t even notice she was spending all her days inside L-Corp, not that anyone was surprised, especially herself. National City was safe, Earth was protected and for days all that the press could write about was the Luthor who prevented mass enslavement.

Lena was supposed to feel good, even relieved, but the sensation that she had become the same as Lex or Lilian was still in her thoughts. What made her different from them? Yes, she had stopped the plans of an insane alien but how many Daxamites died in the process? Besides, isn't that basically her family’s slogan? It was becoming exhausting to dwell on this guilt and her health showed how concerning that was.

Kara. What would she say to her best friend? What excuse or argument solid enough could Lena have to explain that Mike had to leave? Obviously, Supergirl, most likely, had already talked to the reporter and it was probably best this way, the city’s hero had more grip and emotional wisdom to tell the whole city. Not that it made the pain in her chest any better, that now and then made her cry in the bathroom late at night, sure that she had destroyed her best friend’s happiness, and consequently, her only friend.

How would things be from now on?

The blonde wouldn’t answer her calls or texts, and when she did, the excuses were as strange as they could be. Kara was avoiding her, it was crystal clear. Once again she had failed something she loved; Once again she is alone. The situation itself wasn’t the issue, to be honest, being raised as a Luthor gives you a PhD in loneliness. Who was she trying to fool, it was expected that someday she would let Kara down with some attitude or decision that she was bound to make.

Her nights turned day at the same speed she finished a bottle of wine. Her meals were cereal bars and the salad bowl Jess always made sure to buy during lunchtime. If it wasn’t for her secretary, Lena would probably be much worse. Truth is that the Luthor was already suffering, feeling intense headache, nausea, and loss of appetite, along with some smells that became much more intolerable.

On the day before, the CEO led a group of investors that came to meet the new mechanics’ lab, it was supposed to be something pleasant, after all, that was one of her favorite sectors, where many projects were being made and also where interns, just as young as herself, were building a better future. As she arrived at the place, a strong, sweet, and disgusting smell hit her nostrils and the nausea was instantaneous. Without any time to think, her only way out was to run to the bathroom and vomit all the poor lunch she had had.

The low blood pressure bothered her, the headaches were unstable, coming and going, making her nervous and impatient. She wasn’t able to eat what she wanted and was even less able to predict what was causing this sickness. Lena was never someone that kept the medical consults up to date. Now and then, Jess reminded her of an appointment with the ophthalmologist because she had always complained about pain in her eyes or with the dermatologist that did an excellent job with her issue with acne in her teenage years and always asked her to pass by and check-up. No. A CEO should put her responsibilities first, even if that meant putting the company’s priorities in front of her own. It was what Lionel had taught her and what Lilian kept repeating.

Another morning came and once more her breakfast, composed with a cup of coffee, some french toasts, were all thrown up, down the bathroom sink. She couldn’t say if it was stress, her carelessness with herself or if her frustrations and anguish were the ones making her sick. It pained her to look at the cellphone screen and see that Kara, once again, had not responded. What would her best friend think about her anyway? Obviously, nothing good. The Luthor blamed herself for being so naive, for letting herself cling to such a trivial feeling and trusting Rhea so soon. What was she thinking? That every one that got into her life was like Kara? Pure, innocent and were trying to make the world a better place? Now, because of her, her best friend hated her, the world couldn’t decide to make Lena Luthor a hero or just another insane psychopath like Lex and many families that shouldn’t have to suffer due to her stupidity, ended up dying.

Lena didn’t know how many daxamites were bad or not, which ones were there because they wanted to be there, or were forced, it was impossible to know. During a few times, the blonde decided to open up, (usually, because Mike had been a complete asshole, in her opinion) she had learned more about Daxam, about their politics and beliefs. To be honest, she hated that someone so kind and good like Kara was with someone so hollow and petty like Mon-El. But it wasn’t any of her business, she couldn’t interfere or give any advice, because then she wouldn’t be impartial or truthful. And the truth was she had feelings for her best friend, feeling she swore to never tell.

With only memory flashes of her kidnapping ordered by the daxamite queen, her stomach rolled and once again an impulse to vomit crawled to her body, but now all that it was coming out was her bile along with gastric juice. Alcoholic drinks weren’t making her sick, yet, something she was very grateful for, and the only cereal bar flavor she was able to swallow was oat and strawberry. She didn’t try and taste other foods, there was no time for testing and at some point, this sickness would end and everything would go back to normal. The fear, distress, and the feeling of treason would go away, and if they wouldn’t, Lena would move on doing what knew best: ignore it.

Just like she was ignoring the fact that her best friend stopped showing up.

During her childhood, people rarely made sure to stay, offer comfort, and give affection. Her relationships were shallow, whether they were with family or lovers. In school, her friendships were composed of essay groups and the chess team, nothing more than that. She didn't have her yearbook signed by anyone but the biology teacher; she also didn’t go to any “goodbye High School” party. She still remembers very well how Lilian woke her up on the day of her graduation and told her she was leaving for a trip and wasn’t sure when she was coming back. Lionel was already in another country and Lex had left months before for college.

It hurt her, at the time, having to go through all these phases by herself, congratulating herself and telling herself she had done her best, even though believing that, maybe if she tried harder, perhaps Lilian would pay attention. But losing Kara? That was a constant fear. Lena didn’t know anything about friendships or the rules that surround this kind of relationship, she always deprived herself of some kind of intimacies and invasion of her personal space. Privacy and intimacy were intertwined and she was going to keep them like that. However, the reporter was able to break this emotional barrier that the CEO had so greatly built, not in a rude or brute way, but with warm smiles and her incredibly beautiful, almost utopic way of seeing the world. Losing her was always something that haunts her, she just didn’t expect it was going to be this soon.

But no one stayed. No one ever stays.

***

“Miss Luthor.” Jess went into the office with the same posture as usual “I’ve brought the scheme for the next meeting and wanted to let you know that your schedule for next month has already been organized.” Lena smiled in approval and took the brown folder off her hands.

“Thank you,” she answered politely, “cancel the two-thirty teleconference for me, I have to go to a pharmacy and wait for this migraine to vanish.”

“You haven’t been very well lately, Miss Luthor,” the other woman carefully said. “You're paler than usual. Is there something wrong?”

Wrong? She thought to herself in silence. What more could be wrong in her life? The fact that she was almost forced to marry her best friend’s boyfriend, the fact that an insane and psychotic alien might have her DNA or the fact that Kara doesn’t want to ever see her again? She laughed to herself with all the inquiries. Nothing was wrong, in fact, it was all very right. When did her life have the plot of a romantic comedy and all the troubles were solved in an instant, like magic? Never. Chaos was her reality, losses, and fear. Now that was the plot of her days
“It’s probably nothing, just stress,” she tried to smile, knowing she wasn’t convincing a single soul with that but fuck it. She didn’t need an interrogation about her health. “Soon it will pass, I just need a break for the afternoon.”

“As you wish, Miss Luthor,” she didn’t insist, “call me if you need anything else.”

“Thank you.”

After hearing the door clicking, she sighed, nervous and tired. That was something wrong with her body and the certainty of that came from the fact that she lived in it for twenty five years. She could be careless with her medical consults but she didn’t need an expert to tell her that her headaches, nausea, and loss of appetite were, perhaps, a more concerning situation than she thought. Lena got up, served herself another glass of whiskey, and walked toward the bathroom to stare at herself from the mirror. Terrible, that was the exact word to describe her appearance. She didn’t think of herself as a splendid woman in terms of beauty, but she did like to consider herself an attractive woman, pretty with some exquisite features.

She took a deep breath and drank the liquid from the glass all at once, feeling her throat burn and stared at herself one more time. The eyebags, exhaustion, and paleness were more and more visible. Hell. If she didn’t take care of herself everyone would notice that the CEO was ill and that was by far something she wanted. Being a woman already made her a target of comments about her mental and emotional capacity and stability, being sick would only generate more of those unbearable comments. She knelt down looking for any medication but all she found was toilet paper and a little box with an extra toothbrush, floss, and tampons.

She sighed. It was really necessary to leave the company and go home, it was the least she had to do. Sacrifice a whole afternoon of work because she couldn’t even keep herself physically well. Great, that was all she needed. She got up with some difficulty and dizziness suddenly took her weakened body. Many black spots appeared on her sight and Lena held down harshly on the sink marble. Damn it, she wasn’t feeling any good. After closing the small door, and out of context thought came to mind: tampons.

How long had it been since the last time she got her period? Before the Luthor used to take the pills, check the dates, and take care of her intimate health, but now she could barely remember when was the last time she had to use a tampon. Has she got her period in the last six weeks? What about last month and the month before that? God, she didn’t remember. A sudden panic invaded her heart and breathing became very hard. Calm, she had to stay calm. She couldn’t… could she? No. Definitely not. She didn’t even have any sexual relationships with men in the last five months. It wasn’t possible.

Quickly, she ran back to the desk and grabbed her purse, putting whatever she could and taking some documents to analyze later. She let the secretary know she had to leave for an emergency and asked her to reschedule all her appointments. Called the driver, that was on stand by in the underground parking lot. She had to answer the doubt, to urgently prove herself that she was wrong and none of that was true. Lena wished to be mistaken, this time she didn’t mind. Trying not to cry through the way, the Luthor proceeded to the closest pharmacy and bought all the pregnancy tests possible.

Rhea couldn’t have done that.

***

Positive. Eleven positive tests.

Staring at the wall had become natural now. Her body ached for being in the same position, her back and ass. She didn’t know how long she had been locked in her bathroom, sitting on the floor with another stick in her hands. Positive. The eleventh one was supposed to be her last hope, the one that would disprove all the other and would calm down all the nerves and hormones. At what time had she started crying? She no longer remembered. The anger, anguish, and despair came in that exact order. But nothing came out of her mouth, not even a simple scream or a painful whine. Her nightmares seemed far from an end, she felt stupid for thinking one day they would go away.

She remembered how it felt to wake up in a place unknown to her, where she didn’t know if she would make out alive or married to a misogynistic, sexist, in favor of slavery, alien. She would do anything to protect who she loved, would take the same decisions over and over as many times as she had to, but who would she protect? Who would act for her soul, of her fears and feelings? Why was it so useless and childish to wish for someone that cared enough to tell her there wasn’t a need for being so selfless. There was never someone that asked her to not sacrifice herself. Not that it would change anything or make her give up, but a needy and selfish part of her yearned to listen to something like “don’t do that, I need you.”

Ironically she laughed at herself

“Don’t be naive,” she murmured to the empty walls, “no one ever stays.”

Getting pregnant was the last thing she wanted in her life, at least not independently. Being a mother wasn’t in her plans, after all, what did she know about being one? Lilian was a terrible example and her biological mother was dead, she didn’t even remember what she was like. Or what her name was. So what was the objective of having a baby? Why did life enjoy toying with her like that? Pregnant, oh God! And what would this child expect from her? Besides, if she were to ratiocinate like a normal person, she knew who the father was. Shit…

She couldn’t be pregnant with the biggest asshole of that planet. A guy that wasn’t even among them. Kara… what would she say to her friend if at some point she answered her calls? What about her feelings? Once again, acid and warm tears running down her face, making her stomach roll with disgust and bitterness. She never wished so bad for a day to end and that in the morning after this was all a big and confusing nightmare.

However, that wasn’t what happened.

***

“Won’t you answer it?” Alex asked her sister who stared at the screen. A name constantly flashed on it, Lena Luthor. Kara stared at her, sad eyes surrounded by a dark shadow, showing how hard this had also been for her, and shook her head, denying. “She has been calling at least thrice a day, Kara. For weeks.”

“And you think I don’t know that?” Her hoarse and tired voice echoed through the room. “But you expect me to answer and say what? Lena probably hates me by now, she must be so angry…” She sighed, beyond exhausted.

“Is this still about Mon-El?” She carefully asked. The redhead had been studying her sister’s behavior for the past six weeks, since the boy was kicked out of the planet, literally “You think Lena is guilty?”

“No, Alex, of course not,” she sighed. She’d never put that weight on her best friend’s back. “It’s just that sometimes I… I just keep thinking if I did the right thing, I’d feel worse than I do now if Mon-El… anyway. I just want things to be okay.”

“Did you love him?” They were both alone in some DEO office, Supergirl was working nonstop, trying to avoid her own thoughts.

“I don’t know…” she said it out loud for the first time. “I guess I liked the idea I created of him, and also because he reminded me of Krypton, it was like not being…”

“Alone.”

“Yes...” she felt bad for admitting it in front of her sister, “I thought I loved him, I mean… I guess I did but I’m not sure. Giving up on him hurt but at the same time, it was so… easy? I had to decide and I just did,” she sadly looked at Alex. “I just want to let this go… I’m worried about Lena and I have been thinking only about her.”

“Do you think she has found out yet?” J’onn came into the room and found the duo talking. “How do you think Lena will react?”

“You’re asking a lot of difficult questions, Alex.” She snorted, and smiled at the alien as he sat in front of them, “I don’t know anything about pregnancies.”

“About that,” J’onn spoke gravely, “I need you to tell me exactly what you heard before rescuing Lena and Mon-El.”

Kara sighed, she had repeated that story at least fifteen times that week.

“Rhea was talking about an insemination she had done, to make sure Daxam had an heir,” she explained, “she told me how she had lied to her son and Lena, blackmailed them and, even if her plans didn’t work out, she could still come back and take the child.” Now it was the worrying part that was troubling Supergirl’s sleep, “but then Rhea was enraged because, after analyzing the DNA used to combine with Lena’s, she realized it wasn’t Mon-El’s but,” she coughed, nervous, “...mine.”

“So Lena is pregnant with your child,” Alex repeated.

“Exactly,” Kara confirmed, “so… what will we do?”

The blonde looked at J’onn, concerned with what he would say.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to have an alien child inside the Luthor family,” Alex didn’t react but Kara felt her heart race. “We don’t know the potential of that, with what powers they can have, they could be a weapon. One that I don’t want to be in the wrong hands.”

“Weapon?” Kara raised her voice, “we’re talking about a child, my child, she then lowered her voice a bit, “you’re not thinking of taking this child away from Lena, are you?”

“As romantic as this sound, we're talking about a possible threat and…”

“Threat? Romantic?” She laughed in disbelief and got up. “You think this is romantic? My best friend’s body was violated! I have been watching her every day and taking care of her every night, feeling like garbage for seeing her drown herself in work and sleepless nights,” she emphasized angrily. “We’re talking about a mother that didn’t even have a choice, about a child that we don’t know what will be like. We’re talking about my kid and I won’t allow a whole department to make Lena feel worse, or make her feel like a Luthor.”

“Kara, calm down…” Alex got up and touched the blonde’s shoulder, who moved away quickly

“I am calm,” she stared at both of them. “I’m going to tell her and fix this.”

“And how do you expect to do this without compromising yourself,” J’onn asked, still serious, “do you think you can tell her without exposing the whole truth?”

“I don’t know,” she answered, sincere. “But I won’t leave her alone. This is mine and only mine decision.”

***

Two days had gone by since the “discovery” and she hadn’t left her house. She knew her work was pilling up and that Jess was probably dealing with all the stockholders, shareholders, and investors alone, and they would soon begin to speculate the motives behind her misconduct. Fuck it, she thought. Fuck all of them, all the manipulative media and also Kara Danvers.

She was exhausted and hungry. She hadn't eaten anything substantial since she had thrown all her tests away. The wine was her loyal companion, making her forget her own name, unable to see the days go by. But in the morning, just like the other five and a half weeks, she woke up nauseous and threw up again.

Kara had looked for the friends in L-Corp, tried to call but it went straight to the voicemail. No battery. There was only one place where Lena could be and the blonde wasn’t that intimate to her apartment, they almost didn’t meet there, because Lena always preferred going to her friend’s flat and just staying over there. It was more welcoming and warm, it looked less like an office and it had the sweet smell of her friend. Her favorite place in the whole world. But Kara decided she wouldn’t waste any more time, she needed to help Lena, no matter what happened.

She flew around the area before going down to greet the doorman, smiling and leaving a bag with his favorite sandwich. She went up all the floors to the rooftop and took a deep breath before knocking. But then it came to her: what if Lena didn’t want to let anyone in? Well, she had to give it a shot. As she prepared to knock, she heard a thud on the floor which made her heart race in despair. Using her heat vision she melted the lock and went in, immediately searching for her friend.

After going into the bathroom, she found Lena almost passed out on the floor, shaking in cold and pale. Her instinct took place and in no time Kara was carrying her friend back to bed and laying down beside her. Her body was thinner, haggard, and a cold sweat covering her forehead. Kara felt like the worst coward and selfish woman on Earth, mentally punishing herself for leaving Lena alone, for not coming over before and stopping her to continue this self-destruction.

She waited a few minutes, as Lena was getting some of the colors in her face back. The breathing stabilized, the sweat was decreasing and her eyes blinked a couple of times before completely opening up. Lena analyzed where she was and, after noticing warm arms surrounding her, she moved away, scared.

“Hey, it’s okay…” she comforted her in a sweet and slow voice. “It’s me, everything is alright.”

“Kara?” The painful and surprised expression made Kara’s heart sink in her chest.

“I know you’re probably angry at me and… I know I don’t have an excuse and…” she sighed, “maybe… Jess called and I was worried, I know I ghosted you… I don’t…” she immediately stopped after hearing a sob echo through the room. She felt the need to cry as well.

“I thought… I thought you were angry at me…” she sobbed again, the tears ran freely down her face and her chest ached.

“No, Lena, of course not,” the blonde pulled the friend in her arms, hugging her in a protective and caring way. Lena braced her waist strongly, not caring if they were or not crossing a line inside that friendship.

Kara didn’t mind and pulled her even closer, with her own tears running down. She kissed her friend’s dark hair, trying to say she was there and that she wouldn’t leave. How could she think that ghosting and avoiding her was the best choice? Lena was strong, though, and knew how to take care of herself, but she was also fragile.

“What are you doing?” She asked in trepidation as Kara moved to reach her phone?

“Shhh, you don’t have to worry, I’m not leaving”. She smiled, “I’m calling Jess to tell her I’m here, you think she can handle things there by herself?” Lena nodded, “good.”

In a few instants, the younger Danvers notified the secretary and also texted Alex, making it known that was going to spend the whole day out. She would only leave if Earth was invaded again. She left the phone on the nightstand and went back to hugging Lena.

“Sleep,” she whispered, “when you wake up, I’ll be here.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.” She smiled to hide the pain she felt seeing Lena afraid. She slept within minutes and Kara swore to herself she would do whatever she could to keep her safe.

***

After sleeping for about half an hour, Kara got up, letting Lena rest for more time. In silence, she walked to the kitchen, going through all the cabinets and drawers in a search for food. She wanted to cook a meal for the friend, even though her cooking skills didn’t reach farther than pancakes and cheese sandwiches. Something had got to give. But the problem was there nothing inside the fridge besides water, an old peach juice can and some vegetables. In the cabinets, just a few cereal bars and some expired pasta.

She sighed, confused, how could someone with so much money not spend it all in food? It felt like a sin, such a waste. Still thinking about what she would do, the blonde decided to clean up the apartment. She took out the trash, the wine bottles spread around just like the papers on the room’s central table. She organized some books, going through their pages, and threw away all the spoiled food. After finishing, she called Lena’s favorite restaurant and ordered everything the knew the Luthor liked.

A moment after she hangs up, steps were heard in the hallway and Lena appeared by the door.

"I thought you had left" she murmured, still sleepy. Her messy hair was falling on her flattened face and she was wearing a shirt too large for her shoulders.

"No, I was just… distracting myself" she smiled with honesty "I also ordered food."

"I’m not hungry" she walked to the balcony and Kara poured some water for her

"know you’re not" she sat down "but you need to eat something to get better"

"I’m fine" she lied "I’ll be fine"

The silence was all it was heard for a while and the Luthor used that moment to analyze the woman in front of her. She always thought it was mesmerizing the way shone brighter than the sun for everyone around her, the happy and warm way she dealt with life an with the people she loved. But standing there, so close and still, she could notice some changes. She recognized every train in her best friend, she had learned and memorized all of them. Kara was a bit dismal too, with a trace of many sleepless nights underneath her eyes, their blue color was dimmer.

She sighed. It wasn’t fair to be hard on her, it wasn’t easy for neither of them.

"Kara, about what happened…" she spoke without raising her head "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for things to go this way, for you to suffer. I’m sorry about Mike."

"Lena, it wasn’t your fault" she reached for the other woman’s hand over the balcony "It wasn’t your decision, Supergirl told me… a lot" she restricted her words.

"I imagine she did" she exhaled "Either way, I still feel bad about it."

"You don’t have to feel bad" she reassured "I’m not angry at you or anything like that. It was a dangerous situation for all of us, Mon-El had to leave for his own good and I… well…" she fidgeted with her fingers "I’m still learning how to understand what I felt or thought I felt, our relationship was complicated… I think" she smiles, uncertain.

"There’s something you should know" Lena spoke, changing her tone "something that may make you hate me but I have to say it."

"Lena…"

"Let me speak" she said, taking a deep breath "please…"

"Okay" she nodded, knowing what was coming, even though she didn’t think it was going to be so soon.

"Supergirl probably already told you about what Rhea wanted and how she tried to force me to marry your boyfriend or ex boyfriend - she chose her words carefully - the thing is… I’m pregnant" she looked at her friend, searching for a reaction "I didn’t sleep with your boyfriend, I would never do something like that. Somehow Rhea had samples of our DNAs and used them for some kind of insemination."

"Er… okay" it was what she managed to say, Kara already knew the truth, but how could she tell Lena she didn’t mind that she was pregnant with her boyfriend? "right…"

"Did you hear what I just said?" she asked arching her eyebrows

"Yes, I did" she confirmed "but I also have to tell you something and I have to…" the bell rang, interrupting her "our food!" she exclaimed, excited "first, we’ll eat and then… then we can continue."

And so it was. Kara organized the table, separating the plates and that both ate calmly, chatting about lighter topics and about what the blonde had been up to those last weeks. She told her about the bastard Snapper was being, telling her to rewrite the article about the invasion more than three times and demanding impatiently an exclusive with Lena Luthor, the woman who helped to save the day, but could have hidden intentions. Kara warned him she wouldn’t bother her friend, who thanked her mentally while eating. Mysteriously, her stomach didn’t reject the pasta, but only the thought of a salad made her sick.

After finishing, the CEO felt the need to bring the subject again.

"I’m not keeping this child" she spoke suddenly, taking Kara by surprise. The blonde almost spilled her water

"You… wh-what?" she cleaned her lips and left the glass aside. What does she mean? She thought in silence.

"I don’t want to be a mom, Kara" she confessed "I don’t… I have never…" that was just half truthful. And the blonde felt the doubt inside that sentence. "I’m not getting an abortion, that’s not it. But I’m looking up the process of secretive adoption."

"Lena" she reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers "you don’t have to make this decision right now."

"I do."

"Yes, but not now" she repeated kindly. Lena agreed silently and yawned, her eyes starting to get heavy. "go lay down, I’ll clean up. You need to rest."

"You..." she wasn’t brave enough to ask. What if she slept and then Kara left? When would she come back? Would she come back?

"I’ll be waiting here" smiling in relief she walked back to bed, her body grateful for finally having something nutritive and solid inside the stomach.

The younger Danvers sighed and tried no to dwell on those words in her conscience and sub-conscience. Lena didn’t want to be a mother, therefore she wasn’t keeping the child, it wouldn't stay with her. This small confession saddened the blonde’s heart, even hurting it a bit. She couldn’t leave her child in an orphanage, defenseless against any person or couple that wanted it. She couldn’t bear to lose someone who was 50% her, someone that could have her eyes or smile. Or Lena’s smile, she thought. After washing the dishes, she decided she wouldn’t comment on that subject that day, leaving it to Supergirl deal with and tell the truth.

And the truth was that the baby didn’t have a father, but two mothers.

Chapter Text

After finding something out, the acceptance phase follows or the denial, depending on what was your reaction to the news. For those who had always planned on having children, finding out you’re pregnant comes as good news, surprise or not, expected or not. For each woman, the acceptance always goes through different processes. There are ones who immediately freak out, with a dying need to tell the world about it. Others wonder if that is or isn’t true, but after confirming it, it’s all pure happiness. But, there are still some who don’t quite know how to react to it and there are many reasons for that.

First reason: you didn’t expect it like really didn’t. Married or not, wishing to have children isn’t always a discussion topic and the arrival of this child changes everything. Second reason: It wasn’t planned and you’re not married to the father. This situation is far from being the most complicated. A woman is perfectly capable of raising a child without a man around, however, even rejecting the father’s help, this kind of news is never welcome. Third reason: it wasn’t planned, you’re not married and you don’t want to be a mother. Well, then the decisions become more difficult. Not that the others aren’t though, because all that involves someone’s life is hard. Truth is, not all women wish to be mothers and that is perfectly normal. But what happens then?

There are two very obvious options: abortion or adoption. Abortion is a private matter, each one has the power to decide over their bodies and the mother deserves nothing else than respect and support. Adoption also is a private matter and requires immense maturity from the biological mother’s part. Anyway, giving away someone you’re giving life to is never going to be an easy decision. And nobody can judge you for that. Although there are many other different situations, like a scenario where the mother doesn’t have conditions needed to raise a child, those circumstances change from woman to woman. Lena was still figuring out what her reaction was going to be when the penny finally dropped.

Her first phase was denial, for sure.

 

***

Lena spent the morning putting all the work she had accumulated ahead and Jess was relieved to see her a bit better, more blushy, and elevated. The paper piles fully covered the table’s surface, she had lost count of how many coffee cups she had had and her brain refused to let go of the pregnancy subject. Fucking hell. It was exhausting to dwell on the same topic, again and again, besides, she needed to pay attention and focus. Kara had assured her there was no problem being pregnant with her ex-boyfriend. What still sounded beyond bizarre. She didn’t know what was worse: to be pregnant, to be pregnant with her best friend’s ex-boyfriend, or to be pregnant with an alien.

She’d give everything to see her mother’s face when she finds out, but she obviously wouldn’t tell her. Soon the media would figure out, it is impossible to hide a pregnancy unless she temporarily moved away to somewhere far away. That sounded like a great idea. Maybe, after her belly started to grow, Lena would ask L-corp for temporary leave, leaving her CFO in charge of the more urgent matters and reunions, while she would manage the company from somewhere else. Perhaps that was the best option to escape the tabloids.

She sighed. What would her body look like after nine months? She didn’t want to imagine it. She also wouldn’t admit she had looked at herself in the mirror at least four times before leaving for work. She was starting to sound paranoid, the child wasn’t even big enough to occupy a somewhat large space. Also, should she say child, baby, or fetus? What was the correct termination? Whatever, she couldn’t get attached to it, she couldn’t feed feelings and when you give names, affection is created. So that was the denial phase. Denying she could really be pregnant, denying she could want or wanted to be a mom, and denying that maybe everything wasn’t as bad as it seemed.

During a bathroom break, the Luthor heard the known noise in her balcony.

“Supergirl” she turned and smiled, a bit more relaxed “Kara told me you’d come.”

“Are you okay?” the superhero asked, worried “you seem a bit down.”

“I’m fine and I’d be grateful if you could not mention my looks to anyone” she spoke out defensively. Now everyone was noticing her state? “I suppose you’re already familiar with ‘the news.’”she said ironically and observed the girl of steal’s reaction.

“Actually…” the blonde fidgeted with her cape and looked down, looking a lot like day to day Kara “This is why I’m here.”

“Are you recognizing my child?” she chuckled, raising her brows and crossing her arms. Supergirl froze “I’m kidding. Sit down” she pointed to the sofa “do you want anything to drink?” she asked, reaching for a glass of water but the blonde denied “alright, I’m all ears.”

“First of all, I want to tell you how sorry I am that you had to go through all of… this, with Rhea.” she began, trying to keep her posture “I wish I had realized sooner, maybe helped or stopped her before she took you to the ship. Maybe… maybe now you wouldn’t have to deal with an unwanted pregnancy.” she sighed. Lena analyzed every expression of the woman and listened to every word carefully. Obviously she knew about the pregnancy, but how? Could the superhero have told Kara about it before?

Oh, it made sense, why her best friend didn’t take the news so badly as she thought she would. Kara already knew.

“Maybe” she answered drily and harshly. Her anger kicked in when she understood that Supergirl had shared something so intimate of her to her best friend. “but now this is a private matter and all decisions are mine to take.”

“I’m afraid they’re ours to take” she murmured. Lena raised her brows again.

“Excuse me?”

“There is something you should know and that’s why I’m here” she fixed her posture and sighed “In Krypton, it was usual to use insemination or incubators to generate new lives. Couples who weren’t biologically capable of reproduction often choose those alternatives, because their children would still be 100% genetically compatible” she explained “sexual cells weren’t necessarily needed, the technology was much more advanced than Earth’s and I was… very young when I left, so I don’t know how to explain the specifics.”

“Okay, and your point is?” she asked gravely “I’d appreciate it if you could get straight to it.”

“Right” she took a deep breath, searching for some courage that did not exist “Rhea wished for Daxam to have an heir and for that she needed a princess, which was going to be you. But her plans were close to going wrong and because of that, the queen took the decision of making a child without your… er, permission.” this was harder than she thought “when I got into the ship to rescue you, I heard Rhea yell at one of the labs responsible and she was talking about your pregnancy.”

“What did she say?” Her stomach rolled over. Shit.

“She said she had extracted a strand of Mon-El’s hair, or so she believed” she tittered “the thing is… that strand of hair in his shirt didn’t belong to him…”

Okay. That was too much information. Lena wasn’t following anymore and all the situation, that was confusing enough, was getting messier. So she was pregnant of a daxamite? Instinctively, her hand reached her womb and panic started to rise up again. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the rest of the story.

“And who is it?” she questioned, desperate “who is the father of this child?”

“There isn’t a father” she frowned “there is another mother.”

“I need scotch” she got up quickly, legs shaking, and served herself. She took a few deep breaths, trying to keep her lunch inside her stomach. There was another mother, not a father. A mother “Who does the DNA belong to?”

“To me” she confessed without raising her eyes and heard the Luthor run to the bathroom, kneeling in front of the toilet and holding herself to it “Lena!” she got up in no time to help her.

“Don’t touch me!” she cried in anger. Her strength was slowly vanishing and she damned herself for crying again “How… I…”

“I’m so sorry Lena, I’m truly sorry” she whispered, upset. She didn’t expect that reaction and she couldn’t even touch her friend at that moment “I wish things weren’t like this” The other woman laughed sarcastically. Of course, the Super wished that, after all, who would ever want to have a child with a Luthor?

“Leave me alone” she asked, getting up and washing her face. If there was something she had learned it was that a Luthor always keeps posture, never shows weakness, and does not allow others to feel sorry for them.

“Lena…”

“Leave me alone!” she almost yelled “I may be expecting your child but we will not be mothers. What do you expect from me? For me to congratulate you? Well, congratulations, you’re going to have a child and if you want to keep it I assume you’ll have to find a less agitated and dangerous job than the one you have.” she fixed her skirt and hair, she wouldn’t allow herself to be weak, not in front of a Super “This child won’t carry mine or your last name, whatever that is. I don’t even know your name, so don’t act like we are going to it like a happy couple. We’re not a couple.”

“I know we’re not” she murmured. Her heart ached for all the lies and deep inside, she wondered if she would have had a better reaction if she had told her the baby was Kara’s. She couldn’t make sense of how the CEO loved the reporter but only admired Supergirl, usually, people went the opposite way “I just wanted you to know the truth and maybe that could help with the guilt of being pregnant of your best friend’s ex boyfriend.”

“Well, that didn’t help” she said sitting back “and if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”

“You don’t have to go through this alone” she insisted “maybe we can…”

“We can what? Handle it together?” she laughed in disbelief “You’d come to the medical appointments with me dressed as Supergirl and let everyone find out a Luthor is carrying your child? Is that what you want?” Her tone was harsh and the CEO knew exactly where that anger was coming from “or are you finally going to tell me your real name?”

Nothing. Supergirl couldn’t bring herself to say anything, because truth was, Lena had a point and all she had was excuses. It hurt like hell not being able to tell her best friend her secret identity, keeping a secret like that was painful and a burden she would never wish to anyone else. But her fear spoke louder and the blonde would always back down. She loved the Luthor too much to let any harm happen to her.

“That’s what I thought” Lena spoke disappointed, although she wasn’t sure why. At last, she understood the silence would continue, she decided to end that conversation “Wish you well, Supergirl.”

Kara hesitated before turning around to the balcony’s door behind her. Before leaving, she requested one more wish

“Let Kara help you. That’s all I ask.”

“Have a good day.” were her last words.

 

***

 

The CEO would never let herself cry if that was a different situation, would never allow her walls to crumble like that, making her nightmares come true. She wasn’t mad at Supergirl or the fact that wasn’t worth trusting - even carrying her child in her womb - with her real name, because the blonde wasn’t to blame and it wasn’t her duty to tell the truth to a Luthor. It was all a terrible misunderstanding. But she wouldn’t let herself be weak and be treated like a damsel in danger. She was pregnant, not ill, she didn’t need anyone’s mercy or pity. If she were to be entirely honest, Lena would much rather be pregnant of someone so righteous and good like the Girl of Steel than some egotistical prince, but the biggest issue was that Supergirl was still around. If the baby was Mike’s, he at least was out of the planet somewhere far away. It would be easier to deal with because then there was no one to take part in that process.

But no, the child developing inside her was Kryptonian and would be half-alien, like its’ mother. Mother. What a joke, she thought. It would be a perfect dream to be in a relationship with a woman like that, someone who saves the world in a daily routine and is the symbol of her city. A Luthor and a Super. She laughed to herself and rolled her eyes. That could never happen, firstly because no would accept it, Luthors weren’t made for loving, especially loving aliens. Especially loving Supers. However, karma is a bitch and destiny likes toying with people’s lives, and now she was sitting on her bathroom floor, wondering how she would fix this mess and how she would ignore the growing pain in her chest.

Remembering Kara made her almost smile. Her reaction made even more sense now, Lena wasn’t pregnant of her ex boyfriend. Obviously, if that was true the blonde would have already left, she would have been extremely upset and hurt. The Luthor didn’t know what bothered her the most, if it was the fact the blonde reacted reasonably because she already knew the truth or if it was the insane need to know how Kara would have reacted if the baby was Mike’s. She was probably going mad. The blonde could never fall in love with someone like her, pregnant or not, expecting her ex or a superhero’s child. Her feelings still ached deep in her heart and she kept burying them deeper.

As she got up and stared at the phone’s screen to know the time she noticed she had stayed down for at least forty minutes. By that time L-corp was empty, most of the employees had gone home and Jess was also dismissed. Lena walked towards the bar to get the best bottle of wine, one she kept for special occasions, even though those never really happened. She sat down, turning her eyes to the gigantic glass wall and sighed. The city was still alive and kicking out there and the moon left the balcony’s floor painted in pale white and there wasn’t one cloud up in the sky.

A perfect night. Perfect for being alone.

She served herself a glass and put the bottle on the floor. As she felt the crystal touch her lips, her subconscious reacted faster than she thought it would. Pregnant women shouldn’t have alcoholic beverages, she knew that. The difference was that Lena didn’t care, not yet.

“I’m sorry about this” she murmured, caressing her belly. I can’t be who you want me to be, but I can promise you I’ll find an ideal family. With a mom who will love you and people who will teach you to be someone good, kind, and loyal like your other mother, she thought in silence “I’m sorry…”

The Luthor brought the glass to her mouth again and felt the sweet taste of wine running through her tongue but something inside her made her stop. Damn it. How could she be so moved and affected by someone she didn’t even know?

“You’re not even born and are already giving me trouble” she groaned, leaving her dink aside and getting ready to finally go home “I can’t believe I’m talking to my belly” she smirked. Grabbed her bag and called the driver, she needed to eat or better, the baby needed to eat “are you hungry?” she asked, still caressing her belly and her stomach roared in response “I’m not good at eating every three hours, Kara keeps complaining about it” she felt her heart beating faster after pronouncing that name “you would like her, she’s the best person in the whole world”.

She walked out, wishing a good night to the security guards, and got into the car, asking to go straight to her apartment. Her hand didn’t leave her belly for one second, spending the whole time resting in that body part still to grow. It was unconscious like her motherly instincts were coming to live without her noticing. As she walked into the dark living room, Lena didn’t feel alone. For the first time in her life, the Luthor felt full, taken in a completely new way and accompanied by someone that knew her like nobody else, because she was sure that baby could hear her heart in a way no other person could.

 

***

 

“Alex, I don’t know what to do” Kara whispered for the hundredth time that morning. Her swollen eyes and wan face delated how she was feeling “you had to see her reaction, I’ve never…” she sighed, sadly “I never thought it was going to hurt this much…”

The redhead, who was occupied opening the pizza boxes, looked carefully at her sister. That week were the weirdest days she had ever lived and she knew exactly how complicated was the mess Kara was going into. Well, Alex couldn’t imagine herself in a situation like that and therefore had no idea what to say. But, the more the blonde tried to protect Lena from getting hurt, the more she harmed herself. The lie was the snowball that would turn to an avalanche because a lie needs at least other seven to become convincing.

“I’ll tell you what I think while you eat” she handed her a plate and sat down “Kara, the more you postpone the “big reveal”, the more harm it will do. And you’re not alone in this, Lena is also involved and now there’s a child.” she pointed out.

““I thought that when Lena knew the baby wasn’t Mike’s she would feel… better” she sighed “I don’t know what I was thinking…”

“Yeah, me either” she was honest, making Kara groan in regret “you know how I’m completely against you exposing your identity, especially to her” the blonde shot her an angry stare. Alex sighed with the reaction “not because Lena is a Luthor, but because being one only puts her in greater danger. But I’m even more against letting a mother deal with her pregnancy all alone, especially in her situation. If we are to analyze what happened to her, this insemination was a product of rape” the words were heavy and hard but Alex knew they had to be said “if you’re not telling the truth then you can’t intervene in her decisions and choices. Supergirl can but she wouldn’t want to see for a billion dollars” suddenly Kara lost her appetite “if you want to be a part of this as a friend and not as a mother, then be there to support her. If you want to change your mind because you don’t want to give up on this child than own up to the consequences and fight for what you want” she noticed her sister leaving a slice of pizza on the plate, that rarely happened “Kara, why is it so important to you for Lena to keep this baby?”

That was a hurtful and overly sincere question. During those six weeks, the young Danvers could only think about how to solve that matter to feel some relief. But every time she thought of being a mother and that the child was biologically hers, all the ghosts and fears came back to haunt her. To be reminded of Krypton, of her parents, her friends, and the stories she used to be told as a child still hurt her, still made her shed a tear at night. Especially when the fact of her and Karl-El were the last ones left weighed on her heart.

“My parents could have done something different, Alex” she whispered, feeling the tears stream “they knew Krypton was going to explode and even so decided to stay, they chose to give up on me “ the redhead reached for her hand over the table and squeezed it gently “I don’t want to do the same, I don’t want this child to grow up thinking her parents didn’t want them even though they’re alive and well. My parents would never come back looking for me, but I’m here and Lena is here and…” she sobbed “this baby is a part of me and giving up on it is like… it’s like…”

“Losing your parents again” Alex completed and Kara just nodded “I’m so sorry.”

“Me too” she whispered “I can’t leave Lena alone but I also can’t tell her the truth now. Not yet… I’m not ready yet and I don’t want to jeopardize my chance to accompany the pregnancy. I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

“You’re going to be a mom, do you get that?” she said smiling “Eliza will freak out when she finds out” she provoked and Kara’s eyes widened.

“Oh, Rao!” her hands reached her forehead “she is going to kill me!”

“Chill, little sister” she went back to chewing pizza “at least you’re not a teenager and it’s not like you even slept with the Luthor.”

“Alex!” she groaned “you don’t have to go into the specifics. Lena is just a friend.”

“That doesn’t have to stop it from being something more, especially when I know you like her” she snickered. The blonde still cursed the day she told that secret to her older sisters, a few months ago, before even she got into a relationship with the daxamite.

“She could never fall in love with somebody like me, Alex” she pushed the plate to the side, food still on it “especially when she finds out I’m the mother of her child.”

“That’s what happens when you skip stages…”

“You’re so funny” she mocked “what will I do now?”

“What always do” she said with her mouth full “be there when she needs you and convince her the antenatal visits, soon she will complete two months of pregnancy and the third semester is always the most complicated.”

“Right, I’ll do that” she got up to grab her phone to call her friend

“And Kara…” she called “how did the Luthor believe the strand of her belonged to Supergirl?”

“What do you mean?” she frowned, not following up.

“Mike dated you, not Supergirl” she explained the obvious “how did her hair end up in his clothes? It makes zero sense.”

“I didn’t… I haven’t thought about it…”

“That’s what I thought so” the pizza got her attention back. When her sister left to make the call, Alex thought to herself: Lena is such an idiot in love.

 

***

 

Kara used the elevator, holding a flower bouquet and a box full of donuts. Yes, she knew it wasn’t the healthiest food for a pregnant woman, but if that child was at least 10% like her, their appetite would be uncontrollable, but at least they would have good taste and they wouldn’t eat kale or any other vegetable. She smiled at Jess as soon as she saw her and before asking to go in, her ears were caught in the sweet and calming voice resonating on the other side. Her super-hearing allowed her to hear everyone Lena was saying to someone in the office. Was she accompanied or by herself?

Before knocking, she concentrated again and heard a new sound. It was usual for her to turn off all the sounds surrounding her and focusing on only one, Kara mostly did it when she was trying to sleep or watching tv. But normally, when she was in L-Corp, the only sound she would hear was the CEO’s heart. She knew every beat by heart, every compass, she sometimes would even count them. However, there was another beat, at a lower frequency, but strong and fast. Two hearts. She could hear two heartbeats on the other side of that door.

Holding back tears, the blonde entered the room and saw the Luthor completely focused on the notebook, whilst her hand rested on her belly. It was the most delicate and unique scene she had ever seen.

“Kara!” she got up excited and hugged her friend tightly “are those for me?”

“Yes!” she felt her cheeks blushing the friend took the flowers “I also brought you this” she handled the brown box.

“Did you read my mind?” she smirked “should I be policing what I think?” she teased, as always. Kara was sure she was about to explode with embarrassment.

“Have you been feeling better?” she questioned, sitting down on the sofa. Lena soon joined and her mouth watered as she felt the sweet smell coming from the box. It was like her taste for food had suddenly evolved to something else “Supergirl…”

“Let’s not talk about her” she interrupted “that matter is pretty much solved.”

“Is it?” she masked the upset tone coming from her mouth as she heard Lena excluding the hero so easily from the baby’s life “you know it wasn’t her intention… you know, to make things worse or something.”

“I know and believe me, I don’t feel good about any of it” she confessed “but I won’t interfere with her life like that. How to handle this the best way I can on my own” she pointed out “Supergirl has bigger issues.”

“You don’t have to go through this alone” she murmured. The Luthor raised her brown in interest.

“That’s exactly what she said” she tittered “You two are really similar sometimes” Kara felt her heart sink

“I guess so” she coughed, nervously “Shall we go? We have time but I think the traffic isn’t great today.”

“To where?” the other woman frowned and licked her fingers full of sugar. God, she could hear her stomach crying in happiness for those sweets “What day is today?”

“Wednesday” she answered “I called last Friday, remember? We scheduled a visit for the prenatal”” Lena really seemed to have forgotten, because her face was screaming confusion.

““Oh… shit!”” she groaned “I completely forgot, how could I forgot this fucki…”

“Lena!” she put her hands the Luthor’s mouth “the baby might hear it!” she whispered, making the other raise her brows even more and murmur something inapprehensible. “sorry…” she let go.

“How do you know it can listen?” she asked, curious. Pregnancies were definitely far from her knowledge areas.

 

“Er… I, uh” she cleared her throat “I downloaded an app and it… well, it says that by the sixth week the baby can already listen to what we say.” she blushed profusely.

“You’re taking this quite seriously” she frowned “don’t get too attached, okay? You know I’m going to look for a lawyer to discuss the adoption papers.”

“I know” she tried no to look down, she counted on her magical plan to somehow convince Lena to not give up on the baby “but you’re still going to be with the baby for a long time and this app is really good.”

“Kara Danvers, you are impressive” she charmed “and my favorite person, you know that. C’mon, tell me more about what you found in this app.”

“Okay” they grabbed their pursed and Lena asked Jess to put the flower in a vase, letting her know they were leaving for a medical appointment “here it says the baby is still called embryo and it already has a brian, for that reason the mother have some memory issues” she read as they walked to the car.

That was all a CEO needed, memory issues. She grumbled. She asked the driver to take them to the address “what else?”

“Your breasts will be more sensitive due to the increased blood circulation and high production from the mammary glands” her eyes quickly feel to the torso covered by the bordeaux shirt of the other, making her face burn “how… how are… they?” Rao, she was going to die of embarrassment.

“Are you really asking me about my boobs?” she teased, knowing the friend was about to have a heart attack “Kara?”

“I… er, okay…” she coughed “let’s not discuss this, right? Look! we’re here.” She quickly changed the subject. Lena opened a funny smile and followed the blonde to the entrance, letting the driver know she’d call him as soon as the consult was over.

The office wasn’t huge or luxurious, the walls were painted in icy white and the one behind the main desk was baby pink, making it look presentable and modern. Degrees were hanging all around the place, just like some pictures of babies with flowers and puppies. There were also a few toys placed in a corner and a pink rubber carpet where the alphabet letters were written in black. The Luthor had never been in a place like that and the peace she felt as a child in one of the women’s lap laughed was indescribable. Her eyes accompanied the movements of that mother, that hugged that little human with so much affection, even though her belly was starting to get in the way.

“Lena Luthor” she heard Kara talking to the secretary

“Right, the doctor will call you right away” she answered “Miss Luthor, is it your first time?” the Luthor took a while to understand. All of the sudden, that place and atmosphere made her lose herself and she immediately felt like crying.

“Yes” Kara quickly responded “do we need to fill anything?”

“Are you something of her’s or the baby’s?” she asked, handling a form “if you are, you may sign, but if not you may only help filling it and then Miss Luthor will have to sign it.” the blonde agreed without adding anything else. But what she wanted was to scream out that the baby was also hers.

“Lena, are you okay?” she noticed too much silence from the friend “Are you in pain? Feeling sick?”

“No” she murmured “I have to go to the bathroom” she said fast and in a minute was gone in the hallway.

As she entered the small place, her tears ran free and her heart was beating in despair. She wasn't supposed to feel all that, all that lightness and clarity, but it was impossible. It seemed like her body took every action and transformed it into a rollercoaster of emotions. She cursed herself for crying so easily and for being so sensitive, and also for not knowing how she was going to get out of there looking like nothing had happened. Kara was her friend and was there because she to help her and didn’t want her to spend the next seven months of pregnancy alone.

She could still hear Supergirls voice, could still hear her last words: “Let Kara help you.” Was that why she was letting herself be helped? Because deep down she cared about the hero’s opinion? No. She couldn’t let herself be that soft and emotive. She had made herself very clear to what was her position in that pregnancy and had already taken a decision. Right, now all she had to do was wash her eyes and face whatever was coming. She was getting out that alive, or at least she would try.

 

***

 

“Miss Luthor, Miss Danvers” the beautiful doctor with bright green eyes pointed them to the chairs in front of the table “please, do sit down.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m doctor Allison Cameron and am a gynecologist obstetrician, as you might know” she smiled, sympathetic “have you filled out the form yet

“Sure” Kara handle the paper

“Lena, may I call you that?” she was careful “We have a long journey ahead of us and will see each other with certain frequency, for that I’d rather call you by your first name.”

“Yes, of course” she limited herself to a small smile

“I’ll ask some basic questions, then we’ll have some exams and finally we’ll have the ultrasound, is that alright?” she nodded “Excuse the question, but Miss Danvers, are you her wife or her girlfriend?” Kara choked with air while Lena strongly blushed.

“She is just a friend and she’ll be accompanying my visits, if that’s okay.” the Luthor explained, reaching out the blonde’s hand underneath the table and intertwining their fingers, in way of saying everything was fine.

“There is no problem, I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable” she politely explained “Firstly, do you have any heart or blood pressure disease, diabetes or any other condition that requires regular medical visits or prescribed medication?”

“No, none” the doctor took detailed notes on a file that from now on was Lena’s

“Any partner?” Lena denied “could you give me some information about the father? If you can't, there is no problem. I only need to know in case of congenital and hereditary diseases.”

“I don’t know who the father is” she said firmly. Kara knew that was the logical answer, because there was no plausible explanation to what had happened. But she couldn’t help feeling her smile and joy dying a little bit in that moment “It’s just me.”

“Alright” she kept going, professional as always “your last sexual intercourse was before or after the conceiving?”

Oh Rao.

“Er… After” She answered, feeling out of place and intentionally avoiding Kara’s face, whom she was still holding hands with.

The blonde frowned and repeated that information in her head in looping. When? Since when? With who?

And so it went on, the questions only getting more intimate and specific, the younger Danvers even had to pretend she wasn’t hearing anything a few times. When she thought it was getting a bit better, the doctor began asking blood and urine exams and for the breasts ultrasound, Lena was given some kind of medical gown went to the office’s bathroom. The blonde didn’t quite know what that was for so she just patiently waited, it was time for the ultrasound and she could barely contain her excitement. Sure, Kara didn’t need a machine to hear her baby’s heartbeat, she could her them right now, alongside the mother’s.

She had noticed how nervous had been in the waiting room and was able to hear her crying in the bathroom. It was painful to not be able to knock on the door and comfort her, assure her that it was all going to be okay, that she wasn’t alone. However, she had to hold back and stay low, she couldn’t risk losing the two most important people of her life. If Kara thought about it, Lena was the person she would like to have a baby with, she always found her so warm, gentle and lovely. Maternal, that was the word. To her, Lena was the perfect woman.

“Please step on the balance, facing me” Cameron asked. The other woman was undressed, with only the gown covering fewer parts of her body, after all, it was open in the front. “right, now lay down, please. I’ll have to open your gown, okay?”

 

Oh Rao. How could Kara survive that? Breath, she had to breathe. She had never been that intimate with the friend, although they did share a bet every now and then, especially on movie nights. It weren’t so many nights, but those were special. Lena sent her an embarrassed look and that was enough to calm the little Danvers down, after all, they were there to face a problem together. And because of that, the blonde placed herself by the bed and held tight to her hand.

“Of course” Lena consented, feeling calmer.

The doctor opened her clothing and suddenly there was nothing stopping the kryptonian from looking at Lena’s naked body. But she didn’t, she wasn’t going to be disrespectful in such an intense and embarrassing moment . like that. The CEO was trusting her, letting herself be so vulnerable, allowing Kara so see her in a way no one ever did. It wasn’t fair to look at every part of her body. That wasn’t her role, it wasn’t her place to stare at her best friend’s breasts and stomach and she didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. Her eyes stayed focused on the green of her eyes and how shiny they were this afternoon. Cameron palped each of her breasts, asking if there was any pain, she also felt the uterus and abdominal regions but, fortunately, Lena was fine.

“Let’s get to the best part now” the doctor smiled and place some cold gel on the Luthor’s belly. “we won’t be able to see everything plainly yet and if you have any doubts you can ask me.”

“Can you tell if it’s a boy or a girl?” the blonde asked right way, in an imperceptible smile

“We can’t know the sex yet, it is only visible by the thirteenth week, sometimes even later” the machine slided on Lena’s soft belly, giving her a bit of discomfort and goosebumps “and here is your little child” she focused the image on to a very small body-ish figure “you just got into the half of the sixth week of pregnancy, so the brain is fully formed and the spine is beginning to take place” she changed the focus “here we have the arms and legs, can you see?”

“It’s so small” Kara said, in love, even though she didn’t quite know where to look at “and so pretty…”

“Kara, we can barely see what’s on the screen” Lena called out, laughing at her friend “it doesn’t even have a face yet.”

 

“Actually, the face is being formed this week” the doctor explained “by the eighth week you can ask for a 3D ultrasound, in case you want to know if it is going to have your chin or nose.”

“I bet it will have your eyes” the blonde commented, still ecstatic and staring at the screen “big green eyes like yours.”

“Calm down, Kara” the Luthor laughed, but wondered if her child was going to have eyes like her own and blonde yellow hair like Supergirl’s. That thought made her stomach complain and she quickly let it go “Is the baby fine?”

“Perfectly fine, Lena” Cameron took some shots and continued to slide through the gel “and here is the little heart.” she said before turning the sound on.

Quickly, the room was filled with fast and precise heartbeats. They were like rushed knocks. Kara smiled like never did before, her heart was almost beating like the baby’s and her joy doubled up, because now her friend also knew what it felt like to hear that melody, so amazing and miraculous. Lena, on the other side, was fighting tears, again. She couldn’t get attached, she could not. She had a plan to follow, a life and a company to manage. She didn’t even know how to be a mom.

But how could she resist that sound?

It was her baby, so small and fragile. She was all they had, their protection, nutrient source, their home and comfortableness. She never felt so important to someone until now, she never thought she was going to be so essential to a little being like that, a being stripped from evil, from grudges, pain and anguish. Lena could feel their heart anchoring inside her chest, could feel their little hands trying to move to the belly and whisper that it was okay. She even wondered if that machine could hurt the baby, she didn’t want anyone causing her child pain.

No one would ever harm them, she would kill and die for that promise.

“Your baby has approximately five grams and measures from 0.6 to 0.8 centimeters.” she informed, interrupting Lena’s thoughts.

“Like a pomegranate seed.” Kara compared and Lena look at her, confused.

“Precisely, Miss Danvers” she smiled “now let’s get you cleaned up and then you can go change. How did you know that?” she turned to the blonde.

“She is a bit over excited with this pregnancy” the Luthor explained “she downloaded an app.”

“Apps are a very fun way to trace the pregnancy evolution” she threw the papers with gel away and took her gloves off “there, now you can go get dressed. I’m going to grab the rest of your exam requests and will be back in a few moment. Make yourselves comfortable.”

Allison left and they both breathed in relief, feeling lighter. Kara helped Lena up and closed the front of her gown, lacing the loosen cord.

“Are you okay?” she asked in concern to those crystal irises “you’re...quiet.”

“It’s a lot to process in a single day.” she confessed

“But… did you like seeing it?” she meant the ultrasound “liked hearing it?”

“I’m going to get changed” she said, smiling, leaving Kara alone and without an answer.

 

***

 

After leaving the clinic, Kara convinced her walk two blocks down to a cafeteria, using the made-up excuse that Lena needed to walk to grant better blood circulation to her legs. She did have a point, exercising would actually help the other woman, but they both knew the real goal were the enormous fruit vitamins and grilled cheese, besides, the simple mention of food made the kryptonian’s stomach roar.

And what was unexpected, Lena’s stomach roared along for the first time.

“See?” the blonde exclaimed ”you’re both hungry.”

“The pomegranate seed is hungry” she said, feeling her feet sting inside her shoes “I just ate.”

“Donuts can’t be considered a balanced meal” she sounded like a specialist and that made the other arch her brows.

“Oh, can’t they?” she teased, because everytime she said that, Kara insisted that sweets were as much food as any other “so you’re finally admitting?”

“Don’t hold my words against me” she pouted. Adorable, Lena thought “You’re pregnant, you have to eat well.”

“Eat well is an euphemism” she groaned “this child has my genes and your appetite” those words shone on the little Danver’s heart.

Before she could comment, a tall woman with long dark hair and blue eyes approached them. There was a beauty saloon by the corner of the clinic, she was probably coming from there.

“Lena Luthor” she smiled “what are you doing around here?” Lena panicked, she knew the woman could put two and two together, because right behind them there was a obstetric clinic. Kara sensed her discomfort.

“Helena…” she smiled back “I was just..”

“Keeping me company” the blonde completed and reached her hand out “Kara Danvers.”

“Helena Bertinelli” they shook hands and she stared at the two of them “Pregnant?” she pointed at her belly.

“Yes, sixth week” Kara answered and, to make it more believable, place her hand on her stomach “Lena was just making sure I didn’t panic.”

“And what are you doing here?” the Luthor interrupted.

 

“Just passing through” she vaguely answered “we should see each other more often, Lena.”

“I’m afraid it won’t be possible, L-corp commands very much of me and I need to be completely involved” she gave her best excuse and Kara’s stomach roared again, making the kryptonian blush with embarrassment “and I need to fix the urgent matter.”

“As you wish” Helena nodded, saying goodbye “you know where to find me.”

The CEO didn’t mind answering, because she would never meet Bertinelli again. Her life was already too troubled and confusing. They kept walking in silence and all Kara could think about was what that last sentence meant. Did Lena sleep with her? No, she couldn’t imagine that, But suddenly a bothering jealousy feeling took place in her heart.

Helena was beautiful, she had impeccable posture and an admirable style. How could the young Danvers compete with her? How could she match her? She looked down at her clothes and noticed she had never cared enough to dress a bit more for the CEO, she felt ashamed.

“Kara, darling, is everything okay?” Lena gently caressed her shoulders - I hope Helena didn’t make you uncomfortable.

“No it’s cool. Everything if fine” she rushed to say.

“Also about… that” she sighed “thank you for not telling and covering for me, I don’t know if I would be able to deal with her right now.”

“You’re not telling?” she questioned as she grabbed a menu from the table “not even when you see your… friend again?” maybe she got lost in the role.

“I don’t intend on telling anyone, it’s not like it’s news or that my family would be glad to know it” she grabbed a menu as well “and I won’t be seeing her again. Helena isn’t really a… friend” she confessed, leaving the other woman uneasy.

“Right” she took a deep breath “are you getting the usual? Salad and Hulky colored juice?”

“As much appreciative as I am for healthy food, no” she went back looking at the options “these last days I haven’t been able to eat any of my salads. Apparently, this baby isn’t a fan.” she sighed.

“Seedy really has good taste” she teased, although she knew it was true.

“Nice nickname” she smiled ironically and they both ordered “I don’t get how you can be so excited with the idea of me having a child. I could be pregnant of you ex boyfriend, the only thing that stopped it was a simple mistake, how can you be so calm?”

Kara sighed, she knew they would have this conversation at some point. Sure, theoretically speaking, her friend was supposed to be expecting Mon El’s child, but she wasn’t and that is what matters. Not because she would feel bad if she were, but the child is hers, just as much as it is Lena’s. Now they would be connect with something much stronger than just friendship. Now they were going to have a baby, their child.

“Lena, no matter what could have happened” she reached hands to hold hers “I would never blame you and I would never leave you alone. You’re my best friend and I know you’d never do anything to hurt me or the baby, it being my ex boyfriend’s or not.”

“Did you love him?” she asked carefully, looking away. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer.

“I don’t know” she said, sincere “you know when you love the idea you created of someone? When your conception and imagination make something bigger than it really is?” Lena nodded, completely agreeing, in her life most people were better in her head. Lex was, in her thoughts, a sweet and attentious boy but he turned out so different and all she loved about him now was the idea she had created all those years “that’s how I feel.”

“I’m sorry” she partly smiled “and thank you for being here.”

“I wouldn’t leave you, Lena, you’re not alone” she intertwined her fingers with hers, her heart racing “that’s what friends are for, right?”

“Right, that's what friends are for.”

Chapter Text

The hot sun that Saturday morning was driving Lena crazy and she was about to break down. Her skin was more sensitive, due to what she had eaten before, her body was swollen and the dress she had chosen a week before, for the opening party of the new support center for families that struggle with childhood cancer, didn’t look half as good now. It was hell on earth. She couldn’t concentrate like she did before or breathe without sweating rivers, even though she wasn’t under the sun. She desperately needed an air conditioner and fresh clothes. Who did she have to bribe to go home? It was all Lena wanted, her emotions were so shaken with everything happening that she almost gave up and sat down on a chair and cried.

Her chest felt so heavy that all Lena did was crying and stressing.

She had to remain pleasant and amiable, everyone was counting on the CEO to recover the name of the company and make good use of the power it had. She couldn't ruin all her plans only because she became a sensitive and emotionally unstable pregnant woman. So, Lena took a deep breath, drank about four glasses of water, went to the bathroom and washed her face, and went back to her post. A crowd was waiting for her on the other side, expecting to hear her speech about the investments, plans, and developments on L"Corp’s technological area. She wished internally that no one would notice the sweatiness, and was counting down the minutes to go back to bed, she was in no shape to go back to work today. For the first time in her life, Lena just wanted to go home.

“Miss Luthor, how do you intend to work with science in a field where research is theoretically overdriven?”, one of the reporters asked. Her mind wandered off thinking none of those reporters were Kara.

“Overdriven or not, each of one them are important, and even though some theses are similar and some hypotheses are the same, each research and development of it is different”, she answered politely. “L-Corp is engaged with various scientists that are currently trying to use new resources for treating cancer that isn’t so aggressive and is more efficient.”

“What are the downsides of lead, that were dispersed into the atmosphere to prevent the invasion, could affect us human beings?”, a girl asked. “Did you, Miss Luthor, think of that before putting everyone at risk?”

Not that subject, she thought to herself. her stomach complained and she felt her body weaken from staying under that sun. Her hands were cold and her throat could almost feel that disgusting juice from her stomach going up. Don’t think about it Lena, she repeated to herself.

“The lead I’ve used does not bring any harm to humans”, she explained, taking a deep breath before continuing, “each step was carefully planned and thought out.”

“Was it your brother who created the device?”, someone yelled.

“Did Lex have other plans to kill the daxamites?”, another one continued.

“Miss Luthor, what makes you different from your brother? Was that a premeditated genocide?”. That was the last straw. Lena felt she was about to pass out any time soon.

Before she could ask for help, an explosion threw cars towards where the interviews were happening. Chaos made everyone run on the contrary direction and the screams were deafening. Another explosion, now on the opposite side, threw concrete bricks at those who were trying to escape. Lena felt herself panicking and her bodyguards immediately held her, taking her away as fast as they could. But, there was a third explosion, this it was right underneath the podium she was standing on and if would have killed her if she hadn’t moved seconds earlier

The entrance glass door broke down completely due to the impulse of the bomb, throwing smithereens everywhere, and towards the CEO. Two guards fell, still dizzy from the impact and deafened by the noise. Lena propped on the wall and, as she looked up, she saw an enormous shadow get closer and felt it was about to collide with her in seconds. The car thrown came to her direction in unbelievable speed, making her heart race and her hands instinctively moved to her belly, as if she was, somehow, trying to keep the little being growing there safe.

She prayed to any god that no harm was to happen to that baby

“Lena!” Supergirl screamed and only then she realized the colliding never happened. The guards were still on the ground and she was still standing in the same place. “Lena!” the blonde yelled as she put the vehicle down on the asphalt and flew to her.

Her sleeves were torn apart and her hair was covered in shattered glass. There was blood on her hands and that pushed her to the limit. Slowly, color vanished and her body was frozen. Her sight went dark for a few seconds making her lose her senses.

“Oh, Rao!” Kara picked her up and left the attack behind, she flew as fast as she could, contacting Alex through the hearing device “Alex!”

I copy, where are you heading?

“Wait for me in the medical area, it’s Lena”, she said, “send more agents to the hospital.”

Supergirl, you have to go back!

“Just do as I asked, please”, the agent didn’t insist, she knew nothing would change her sister’s mind. Nothing was capable of convincing Kara to do something she didn’t want to when it came to Lena Luthor.

***

 

Slowly, Lena was able to see the details of the bedroom she was in, she also felt a sting on her hand. The room was unknown, there was a bed by her side, where some lamps were placed and, from the other side of the grand glass door, she could see a hallway surrounded by grids and also an inferior floor. Where am I? She questioned in silence. Her body ached as she tried to sit, and only then she remembered the attack. The flashes came rapidly, making her feel anxious and nauseous.

“Hey, hey” Supergirl held her gently and grabbed a trash can, where Lena threw all her breakfast up. The Luthor took a deep breath, feeling her watery eyes and all the strength required from her body at that moment, she tried to calm down “I’m going to get you some water”, she pulled away quickly.

“Where am I?”, her voice was raspy and her throat burned, “What happened?”

“Here, drink this” the blonde offered the glass and Lena obeyed, she was in no shape to argue, “you’re safe, you passed out from stress.”

“I want to go home”, she suddenly tried to regain her posture and non existing strength. She couldn’t let her be so vulnerable, “where are my things?”

“Lena, I think it’s better if…”

“You don’t have to think anything, Supergirl”, she kept the harsh tone, “you did your job and I appreciate it, but I now want to leave. Where exactly am I?”

“The DEO” Alex answered, walking in “you don’t need to be so defensive, Luthor”, she smiled, “we only made sure you were safe until you woke up, no one is keeping you hostage.”

“That would be your dream, I suppose” she was sarcastic, one of her many defense mechanisms, “you’re all just waiting for that day.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth”, Alex continued and removed the serum connected to one of her hands.

“I don’t have to”, she talked back and massaged the aching hand, “I just want to leave.”

Lena got up with certain difficulty and Kara had to fight against the need to carry her again or at least offer help. After getting ready, she politely thanked them for their help and asked where the way out was. She had never been in the DEO, but she knew there was a secret department that dealt with extraterrestrial issues. It was also known to her that her best friend’s sister didn’t work for the FBI, something that always made her feel bad because Alex was lying to Kara. And Lena loathed lies. Although she knew that place was real, she never thought she would step foot in there.

But of course, they knew she was expecting the big and famous city’s superhero’s baby. And her baby, that wasn’t even born, was another one of their files and cases. As she realized that, her left hand moved to her belly and she clenched her jaw. No one was ever laying a finger in that child, let alone that secret organization that had their own rules and morals.

“Miss Luthor”, J’onn intercepted Lena and Supergirl in the middle of the hallways “I’m the DEO’s director, John”, he introduced himself as human, as he usually did.

“As interested as I am, I really don’t feel like socializing”, she answered, almost agonizing. What was wrong with those people? What was wrong with the universe that morning?

She should have listened to her interior self and stayed inside her house.

 

“I have been meaning to deal with some issues and you must work with us” he kept the inalterable serious tone “It is strictly necessary that we make some tests, so we know more about your pregnancy and your baby’s DNA. It is for your safety…”

“No” Kara placed herself in front of the CEO “c’mon, Lena” the other woman felt the superhero’s warm hand, hold hers and that made her whole body react. That was intimate, too intimate

“Supergirl, it isn’t your decision” J’onn repeated, “we have to take certain precautions.”

“This decision is also mine and no one is laying a finger on her!” she was resolute “I’m taking her home and I’ll be back so we can find out who was responsible for the attack.”

“You know something strange is happening, look at her clothes” he pointed at the torn sleeves “Ms. Luthor doesn’t have a scratch and we both know it wasn’t supposed to be this way” that was when Lena realized that indeed, she didn’t have a single scratch. The blood previously on her hands was probably from one of the guards.

“I have made my decision and I expect you to respect it” she kept her posture “I work with you and not for you. I’ll be back soon.”

The other agents were frightened, Kara was usually so sweet and gentle. To see her act that way was unusual and completely out of the blue. Even in the most dangerous and exhausting time the hero always tried to keep calm, always tried to keep herself together, and to think before speaking. Of course, when it came to Alex, things were a bit different. But none of them expect to see Supergirl step up for a Luthor against the DEO’s boss. And not one of them knew she was carrying her baby. Not yet.

Supergirl carried Lena in her arms to the apartment’s balcony and left her there, asking her to call Kara later. She was nervous because of J’onn’s attitude and also ashamed for saying everything in her mind without considering Lena’s opinions and thoughts. But even though she felt bad, if she had to, she would do it all again. There wasn’t much of a choice, Kara didn’t want the whole department dealing with her baby like it was a scientific experiment or a new weapon. Eliza and Jeremiah always protected her from that and always told her nobody could treat her differently, even though, deep down she was.

Before flying away, the CEO held her wrist, making her stop.

“Thank you.”

The blonde forced a weak smile, leaving a lot unsaid.

 

***

“Kara?” It was late in the afternoon on that awful Saturday and Lena didn’t expect a visit from her friend. But she had heard about the attack in the morning.

“Lena, I was so worried” she sighed “can I come in? I know I should have warned you… I, er… I just wanted to know how you were.”

“Of course” she moved out to make space “and I’m fine, no need for you to worry” she granted.

“I read that one of the bombs was underneath you” she stared at the other woman, blue eyes more intense than ever “you…you could’ve… I can’t even say it out loud…”

The Luthor understood what she meant, she didn’t want to think about the “what if’s”. It was too terrifying, imagine how many times she was near to death, to be arrested for something she wasn't guilty of, to lose her sanity. But, seeing the pain and worry inside those tender eyes always made her completely unarmed. Kara was the only one that acted like that with her, she showed up unannounced just to know if she had eaten or if she was okay.

“C’mon, sit down” she pulled her hand to the sofa and let her take a deep breath “I’m okay, nothing happened.”

I know… but…

"But nothing” she smiled tenderly “don’t think about what could have gone wrong. Can you do that for me?”

“I can” she was honest. She could do anything for her friend “Supergirl arrived right on time to avoid the worst.”

“Yes, as always” the atmosphere shifted “let’s not talk about her. Are you hungry?”

“Why do you avoid talking about Supergirl?” she asked, hesitantly, “I thought… I thought you liked her.”

“I admire her, Kara” she admitted “she’s a good friend, even though we're not intimate enough for me to say something like that. But she and I are just that, I’m not going to change her whole life only because I’m expecting her baby, she’s this city’s hero” she sighed “Supergirl has other priorities, a private life which I am not part of. So I’m not treating this subject like we have something in common besides work.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit… unfair?” Kara was careful with her words “not that I’m saying this is fair to you because it isn’t, but she is only trying to understand and make this less… worse, I think…”

“I know I can be a little too hard on her, I admit it” she searched for her friend’s hands and held them “I promise you to rethink this, okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry if I crossed any lines” she smiled softly “I just want… I just want it to be okay. She asked me to give you this” she showed a small folded paper “and said it’s for you to open it when you’re alone.”

“Right,” she smiled “I’ll do it later. We can order pizza and potstickers that I know you like, what do you think?” changing the subject completely, to something she knew her friend couldn’t resist.

“Who are you and what have you done to my friend?” she teased “are you sure you’re not trying to convince me to eat a pizza full of broccoli?”

“Don’t say that out loud” Lena placed her head between her hands “only hearing that word makes me sick “

“Say what now?” the blonde almost jumped from the sofa

“Seedy here is taking away the best things in my life, Kara” she said, dramatic ”they don’t even let me eat my cereal bars.”

“It’s because it sucks” she made a funny face “okay, pizza and Jiaozi” she took her phone out of the pocket and immediately ordered it via iFood “don’t worry Seedy, I won’t let her feed you any of those disgusting things, I promise you” Kara whispered, holding herself back from touching her friend’s belly. Lena felt it when her friend almost touched her.

“You and they are not allying against me” she ignored the situation, not knowing how to deal with the fact someone was making this more real now “can’t handle two Karas.”

“I'm sorry but Seedy and I are best friends now” she smirked.

“I knew I’d lose your friendship in time.”

“What?” she was startled “Lena, no” she got closer to her friend and held her hands “of course not, I’m not replacing you for anyone.”

“I’m kidding, Kara,” she laughed it off “movie?”

“My pick!” she shouted “drama, action, comedy, or…”

“I trust you” she shrugged “but nothing too dramatic, I have been crying for any reason.”

“It’s the hormones, I…” she felt herself blushing while scrolling through Netflix “I...er… I read it in a book.”

“A book? What happened to the app?” she arched her brows finding all of that very entertaining. It was like her friend was that child’s other mom.

“It’s on my phone but I was curious about… about everything else” she coughed, nervously “The Proposal, how do you like it?”

“Being a rom-com, it’s fine” Kara nodded and pressed play. She went back to the sofa, took off her shoes, and lay down, resting her head in her friend’s lap, like they always did on movie nights “Can I let your hair down?”

“Uhum” she whispered. Lena took off the elastic and sunk her fingers in those soft blonde waves. Caressing her hair was always relaxing for both of them “I was thinking… uh, tomorrow is game night” she turned to face the Luthor “I wanted you to come…”

“I’m not sure if it’s a good idea” she remembered the way J’onn had treated her earlier that day like she was a scientific project. What if Alex thought the same? What if she wanted to know more about the baby? Her heart suddenly raced and her body tensed.

“Lena - the blonde reached for the hands in her hair and held them - I’ll be there and if you don’t want to go, that’s okay, I won’t be upset” she could hear every frightened heartbeat inside the other woman’s chest and the last thing she wanted was Lena to be nervous.

“Right, I’ll think about it” Kara nodded and they both went back to watching the movie.
It didn't take long for the food to arrive and Lena swallowed three impressive pizza slices, along with some potstickers. Kara didn’t lose the opportunity to tell her friend she was loving the whole ‘eat a lot’ phase, she enjoyed seeing her eat freely, instead of thinking and calculating everything going in her mouth. The Luthor always tried to keep her appetite under control, maintaining a healthy and controlled ‘diet’. Diet between quotation marks because the blonde insisted on saying that skipping meals wasn’t a diet, it was insanity.

But any kind of diet in any way seemed like a step to craziness to the kryptonian.

They went back to the sofa and put on a random Friend’s episode as soon as the movie ended. Kara was still laying on her friend’s lap and the CEO kept caressing her hair, observing the goosebumps crawl on the blonde’s neck when her fingers stroke the hair a bit harsher, and the way she would silently whimper when her nails touched the nape of her neck. It’s a sensitive area, she thought. What other areas could be sensitive too? No, she shouldn’t think about it, she couldn’t think about it, no while her friend was lying between her legs, all attention to the television.

God, she was aroused. Damn time to feel it. Lena took a deep breath and looked down to find her friend’s relaxed face, her eyes closed. The little Danvers had fallen asleep and she thanked the heavens for that. She sneaked out of the sofa as silently as she could, trying not to wake her, turned off the tv, and went to grab a blanket for the blonde. Smiling, Lena wished her a quiet goodnight and headed off to her bedroom, still thinking of ways to calm her stubborn and hot body. She turned the air conditioner on, although it was a cold night, and lay down.

Before closing her eyes, she took the small folded paper she had put on her pocket and opened it. Her heart wasn’t able to deal with those two words and her mind wandered off to when the superhero had been embarrassed about the way she had defended her that morning.

“El marayah. Stronger together”

 

***

 

Even though it was Sunday and she had woken feeling she had only two hours of sleep, Lena decided to put some L-Corp work behind, she felt guilty for not working on Saturday and she also wanted to contact her lawyer as soon as possible. When she got up that morning, she was already gone and left a little note on the carefully folded blanket, saying that Alex had called, needing help with something from the apartment. She also asked for Lena to think with love about game night. She answered immediately, confirming her presence in that event, although she knew she was going to be extremely uncomfortable, for she didn’t know anyone. Winn was a nice boy, but what else did she know about him? Maggie, she didn’t really want to think about that one. Alex was an incognito and James, well, the only thing she knew about him was the fact he had dated her best friend.

Which was enough reason to hold a thousand grudges against the lad.

Anyway, what else could she do? She was never able to say no to her friend when she was pouting. If Supergirl thought she was so strong and powerful, it was because she had never felt the power of Kara’s pout when she wanted to convince Lena of something. Leaving all that aside, she rushed to the bathroom and got ready for work. More than that, she had given more thought about “Seedy’s other mom” and she wanted to resolve some things and put an end to some things left unsaid. She called her driver and arrived at her office right before 8 A.M.

The hours passed by and she was able to do a lot of things, organizing some meetings due next month, reading and signing a few documents, and finally answering all her unread emails. Well, not all of them. When her stomach roared, Lena remembered two things she still had to do. Calling her lawyer was the first, and so she scheduled a meeting after lunch, she wanted to get all this situation done, so she could feel lighter. The other thing was talking to Supergirl, so she pressed the small device the hero had given her after one of the attacks. She didn’t remember which. There were so many.

In a matter of minutes - or maybe seconds? - the blond landed in her balcony, with the same posture and beauty as usual.

“Is something wrong? What happened” she got in alarmed.

“No, Supergirl, nothing happened” she laughed at the irony of the situation “I called you because I want to talk”

“Oh,” her face frowned a bit as she relaxed. Lena wasn’t in danger “okay, right.”

“Sit down” she pointed to the iconic white couch “can I get you something to drink? Water or whiskey?”

“I don’t drink” she answered, sitting down.

“Funny, me either” Lena rolled her eyes and the hero frowned “disadvantages of being pregnant.”

“Thank you” she took the glass of water “this is what you want to talk about right?”

“Firstly, I wanted to apologize for the way I acted a few days ago” she sighed “I know I took out my frustrations at you and I don’t like that fact.”

“Lena…”

“And secondly” she raised her finger and interrupted “you’re going to let me finish without interrupting” the blonde nodded, tightening her grip on the glass in her hands “I get that neither of us chose this situation. It was a big mistake and misunderstanding. I don’t know a thing about your personal life, much less if you wished to be a mother and that doesn’t matter because I would never be an option for parenting your child” she infatuated “I can imagine how uncomfortable it must be for a Super to now Luthor is carrying their child” the kryptonian almost intervened but held herself back. You should never upset a pregnant woman, that’s what she had read “that’s why I’m here, to tell you I have made my choice. This is as surprising and uncomfortable for you as it is for me, and I will take the necessary measures on my own. I’m sorry if you were expecting to be involved or to help in any way, but this is my body and those are my rules” she sighed “but I won’t push you away.”

“You won’t?” she stared at her, filled with hope.

“No, and not only because I know we’ll always end up meeting each other, one way or another” she explained “I noticed the way you stood up for me at the DEO, that’s how I know you care. So, as long as you respect my final decision, I’m willing to let you come by to know how the pregnancy is going, to make sure the baby is okay, and if you want to, you may see the ultrasound images.”

“Really?” the blond’s face enlightened. It was all she wanted, even if she was a little disappointed with Lena’s decision. That was her chance to convince Lena to change her mind, as Kara and as Supergirl.

“Yes, but you have to keep in mind that this child won’t be mine or yours, we won’t be mothers and we won’t see it growing after it’s born” she repeated “but I’ll make sure it has the best family and ministration.”

“It’s enough for me” she smiled against her will “and I’m sorry… about J’onn. He is just… I don’t know, it’s complicated” she grimaced

“Doesn’t matter” Lena lied and took the ultrasound images out of her purse, handing them to Supergirl “I won’t go back to that place.”

“I can hear it” the blue in her eyes shone as she looked through the pictures again “I can hear her heart.”

“You can?” she was thrown off. She knew about Supergirl’s super-hearing but she didn’t think it was like that “Her?”

“Seedy” she said and instantly regretted it. Shit “Kara… she, uhm, she told me.”

“Oh, well, I see” she sighed thinking of her best friend “ she is very excited about this, and I’m scared she will be hurt when all of this is over, I mean.”

“She will understand” Kara lied, she wasn’t going to give up so easily.

“I hope so” she took back the images and put them away “thank you for dropping by and for respecting my choices.”

“You don’t have to thank me” she got up and they walked back to the balcony “and Lena, thank you for everything. Even though you think you wouldn’t make a good mother, you’re already being a great one.”

She thanked her in silence and watched as the hero took off to the sky. Took a deep breath. She couldn’t let anyone change her mind.

 

***

 

After leaving the lawyer’s office, the CEO found herself in a deep state of agonizing stress. She didn’t think the conversation would go like that, in her mind, she was sure she would be breathing in relief, not despair. To make things worse, her stomach was still complaining in hunger, and so she remembered she hadn’t had lunch yet. She looked at the clock and saw it had already passed six, which means Kara would arrive in less than fifteen minutes to pick her up for the game night. Hell. Why did she agree to it? All she wanted was to go home, take a long shower, and get rid of those uncomfortable clothes. She didn’t what was bothering her the most that weekend but she sure wasn’t in a good mood.

As she predicted, Kara arrived just as she finished organizing paper on and around the table. The blonde helped her clean the room and so Lena called the driver, unable to maintain a productive conversation with the other woman. Her head was flying far, her thought bothered her and she wanted to forget that conversation with the lawyer, her life was confusing and complicated enough. Kara noticed her friend’s silence and respected it, Lena always kept a smile and good mood for appearances, even when she didn't feel like that, so seeing her so down made her think about the conversation earlier, when she was Supergirl.

Everyone was laying around the little Danver’s cozy apartment, laughing and chatting, while Alex opened many pizza and potstickers boxes. Of course, that was the meal of the night, Lena wasn’t even expecting something different. Her stomach complained one more time and her hand traveled down to her belly, whispering “wait a little longer” as if she was trying to calm someone down. That small action didn’t go unnoticed by the redhead, but she decided to stay silent. The blonde guided her friend to her bedroom and the CEO didn’t quite understand why then Kara pointed out some cleans clothes on top of the bed and she understood what Kara was trying to do.

 

“I want you to be comfortable” she explained softly “if you need anything you can ask me, Lena, I mean it.”

“Thank you” she smiled, feeling a bit guilty for not feeling so excited “will you wait for me?”

“Of course” the kryptonian sat down and waited, smiling as she saw Lena leaving the bathroom in a summer dress. Her eyes couldn’t avert Lena’s beauty, the way she was able to look miraculously amazing in anything, literally anything.

“Do I look bad?” Lena asked, once her friend didn’t say a thing.

“No!” she jumped out of the bed “I mean… It’s good...er, well… beautiful. You look beautiful”

“Thanks” she was honest “I think the last time I’ve worn an All Star I was like sixteen.”

“It’s never too late to go back to old habits” she joked “shall we?” Kara reached her hand out and Lena intertwined their fingers.

They went back to the living room and James and Winn were arguing about whether they should play Scotland Yard or Clue, although they were both about crime and mystery. It didn’t make much of a difference. Maggie was sitting in one of the armchairs, Alex in her lap and a beer in her hand. As they saw the two of them arriving they all smiled and called them to join in. Kara took two slices of pizza and offered one to Lena, who promptly accepted, for she was about to pass out of starvation

“Beer?” Maggie offered and Alex punched her arm, reminding her, not so discreetly, that Lena wasn’t drinking “Ouch!”

“No, thank you” she smiled with sympathy. Okay, the latina had arrested her some time ago but she couldn’t take it personally. Sawyer was just doing her job.

“Kara gave you a slice of pizza?” Winn asked, impressed “what kind of magic have you performed?” he turned to Lena

“Shut up, Winn” Alex threw a pillow at him “leave the Luthor alone.”

“A Luthor that doesn’t drink” James commented “impressively different.”

“Should I believe you have a complete manual with detailed descriptions of the rules on how to behave like a Luthor, Mr. Olsen?” Lena arched her brows and stared at him.

“You are all so annoying” the redhead sighed “are we playing or not?”

“I’m grabbing more beer, I’m cool with whatever you guys decide” the latina got up and made her way to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry” the blonde whispered to Lena, who smiled softly “if you want to…”

“Kara, it’s okay” she reassured, reaching for her hand “I’m here for you.”

After they calmed down, they decided the game of the night was going to be Clue, simply because it was less complicated and lasted longer than Scotland Yard. The characters were chosen, cards were given and the game’s secret was hidden inside its envelope. And so the rounds went, the competition was fierce between Maggie, Lena, and Alex. The three of them were incredibly good and extremely competitive. Little by little, the clues were being revealed and Kara was still contemplative about the nature of the crime, James was trying his best to gather all the information he had, and Winn, well, he barely knew what he was doing.

“It was Colonel Mustard, in the library with the dagger” Alex guessed and everyone stared at each other doubtfully. The redhead always won that game.

“Is someone else guessing?” James asked curiously

“I think it was Mrs. white, in the kitchen with the hammer” Sawyer smiled to her bride and stared at each other, defying one another. They loved to challenge each other.

“And I quit” Winn sighed “why can’t I ever win this game?”

“That’s because you’re too smart, my friend” James teased and everyone laughed “Kara?”

“Whatever Lena says, I say the same” she said quickly and James arched his brows.

“That’s not how you play little Danvers” Maggie pointed out “It’s an individual game, you can’t do that.”

“Kara” Lena pulled her friend closer and whispered something to her ear, making the blonde nod in agreement “Got it?” the blonde nodded again and they exchanged paper underneath the table, trying to fool the rest of them.

“That’s not fair!” Schott pointed to the Luthor “you’re a plot and that’s not fair!”

“I’m guessing!” Kara nearly screamed “It was Mrs. Scarlett, in the garden with the knife” she shone a victorious smile.

And wasn’t let down. Kara won the game and Winn went back to complaining, groaning that what happened was wrong. But the blonde affirmed in every way she could that she had gotten to that conclusion by herself, showing him her notes. Lena just kept quiet, knowing that just making her friend happy, made herself happy as well. After James suggested they should play again, the CEO excused herself saying she was going to take the leftovers to the kitchen as an excuse to breathe, alone. She likes being there, even if not all of them liked her, but it was good to have some time away from work, away from her thoughts that every now and then came back to haunt her.

“Please” she murmured, hand in her belly “let’s not eat anything else tonight, okay?” she gently caressed the dress “we still have seven months and two weeks, you don’t need to eat everything all at once…”

“Talking to yourself?” Alex walked in the kitchen with a pair of empty bottles in hand.

“Alex!” she quickly removed her hand from her belly, placing it on her chest “you scared me.”

“Relax, Luthor” she smiled “It’s normal to talk to your belly during pregnancy” Lena felt her cheeks burn “and don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone, just like I won’t tell them I saw you pass your notes to my sister underneath the table earlier” she teased “and anyway, James and Winn don’t know a thing and the only reason Maggie knows is that Kara was worried about you after yesterday.”

“Why are you doing this?” Lena frowned “I know you don’t like me, you don’t have to pretend.”

“You almost hurt me with this attitude, almost” she teased again “I never said I didn’t like you. Yes, I misjudged you in the beginning and for that, I apologize, but I can be a bit protective of Kara and that one had been hurt too many times by people she shouldn’t have trusted” she explained “and Luthor as a last name threw me off too.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s a surprise.” she sighed. She was thankful for the other’s sincerity

“Yes, but you’re not a surname and are much less your brother” Alex pointed out “if you could let my mistakes behind and forgive me, I’d be very grateful.”

“I forgive you” she turned her face, looking at Kara laughing in the living room “I think I’m going to go home.”

“I know you care for her and this situation leaves you on edge” Alex kept going “but why won’t you let yourself relax a bit? You don’t have to keep your posture 24/7 or be the strongest woman in the world, Lena.”

“I just want this to end” her eyes teared up, she quickly shook her head “I’m sorry, I’ve been pretty nervous and stressed these days.”

“ Look, I may not understand what is going on in your smart head right now” the redhead carefully got closer and placed a hand in her shoulder “ but just breath, deep breaths, take a lot of those. Kara may be your best friend but she doesn’t have to be the only one, think about it” she smiled. The Luthor was not expecting that.

“Thank you” she was truly grateful “but I’m heading off, I had a long day.”

“I’ll call my sister” the agent walked away and so Lena wondered if maybe she had also misjudged the other woman.

 

***

 

“You didn’t need to come with me, Kara” the CEO repeated for the thousand times.

When she told her friend she was leaving, her legs were hurting and she desperately needed a shower, so the little Danvers promptly volunteered to accompany her to the apartment. She was feeling a little bad, thinking her friends crossed some lines or that Lena was feeling uncomfortable but didn’t want to say anything. So she decided to ignore the fact she was leaving her friends behind in her apartment and also leaving aside the fact that this was till game night, she followed the Luthor, not caring if they would complain. Alex didn’t say a thing, she knew that when it was about Kara and Lena, every argument was a lost cause.

None of them said anything on the way. Lena was sleepy and tired, she was also feeling guilty for ruining her friend’s game night. But what could she do? Kara was very stubborn. The driver parked just as the clock hit 10 P.M. They went up the elevator together, Lena was still in the little Danver’s clothes, which made the doorman shoot her a funny look and compliment her. A compliment that almost made her cry. People were hardy kind to her, so hearing “you should wear this color more often, Miss Luthor, it really highlights your beautiful eyes” with such gentleness, she wanted to cry.

The apartment was swallowed in darkness, as she walked in, Lena took off her shoes and left them aside. Kara was still following her quietly, fidgeting with her fingers and sighing a little too loud. She didn’t know what to say, but she surely didn’t want her friend to suffer in silence. Something was happening and it was upsetting her.

“Lena, are… are you okay?” Kara asked hesitantly, she didn’t want to cross boundaries “you don’t look okay.”

“I…” she sighed. It was hard to look at her concerned face and she couldn’t bear to see her friend sad “I will be fine, I just need some time.”

“What happened today?” the hero raised her head to see her eyes “did someone… say something?”

“I had a meeting with my lawyer” she confessed, walking towards the kitchen and grabbing two small water bottles “and it didn’t go as I planned.”

“Was it about the adoption?” they sat down “what did he say?”

“I wanted to solve at least one part of this… mess” she sighed “I asked him to bring everything I had to sign and know about secretive adoption, to make sure nothing would go wrong, but…” she took a sip of water before continuing. She really didn’t want to cry again.

“It’s okay” the blonde murmured and held her friend’s hands.

“He asked me to wait more time, at least until the seventh month,” she explained, feeling a little bit of anger “he told me it was too soon, that I might change my mind and want to keep the child. He said it’s very common for it to happen because most women get too involved with the pregnancy and end up loving the child when it’s born.”

“And do you think… er, you think you might change your mind?” she asked, hopeful.

“I can’t, Kara” she confessed “I don’t… I don’t want to, I can’t.”

“Why not?” Kara insisted. It was hard for her to understand why Lena was resisting something so intense and beautiful as a pregnancy. “Why not, Lena?”

“Because I can’t!, because I don’t want to!” she screamed harshly, tears running freely through her face.

“Lena, what is going on?” Kara sighed “please let me help you, please...let me inside these walls you have built around yourself.”

“I need to be alone” she put an end to the conversation and got up “please, Kara.”

“Fine” she said, feeling her tears fall. They walked to the door in silence and Lena felt more than bad for fighting with her.

They stared at each other for a few minutes, each one standing on one side of the door until the CEO pulled her friend to a hug. She hated that situation and hated even more what her life was turning out to be. Kara held her tight and inhaled the known sweet perfume the Luthor had. Her favorite smell. Her favorite person.

“I’m so sorry for this” Lena whispered and the blonde held her even tighter.

“I don’t care what you say” she said softly “I’m not leaving, okay?” she nodded and smiled “Goodnight, Lena.”

“Goodnight, Kara.” and closed the door.

 

***

She took off her clothes slowly in the bathroom, letting the pieces of cloth fall one by one on the cold floor. Lena felt pain as she stared at herself in the mirror. Her body would change, just like her life was changing and she hated changes. She hated not knowing what to do, not having control of anything, not even of her own body. She could, of course, simply go to a clinic and fix it, get an abortion and it then everything would go back to normal. There would be no pregnancy and no one to question her choices and fears. But, what about her conscience? How could she sleep knowing she had put an end to someone’s life with such ease? As much as science said it was just a fetus or embryo, it wasn’t that simple for Lena.

For Heaven’s sake, she could hear their heartbeat just like she could hear her own. Alive. She had nothing against who had the guts to do it. Lena admired them, as a little girl she had always seen women facing choices and matters where no options were simple and easy. Nowadays, just like the past, no woman would have an easy way out. They were forced to face sexisms, sexualization, and even discrimination for being more susceptible to emotional moments, as they were capable of getting pregnant when it should be the other way around. Each woman should be loved and more, be respected for all the responsibilities they had to manage on their own. They should be praised. Then no, she had nothing against them.

Her sight fell to her breasts and she felt them up, feeling her skin bristle and instantaneously respond to the action. It had been a while since someone had touched her sexually and intensely, and she wondered if one day anybody would desire her again. Her hands traced down through the naked stomach and caressed the area where the uterus hid behind, feeling the softness of her own skin. And cried. Cried because it pained her to not know what would happen from now on. Soon she wouldn’t have that abdomen, or these breasts, or these hips. Sooner or later, Lena would have to get used to the changes and accept them, because that was the only option.

She sobbed and closed her eyes. She had to remain calm, take deep breaths. That’s when her phone rang and the tension of the moment vanished. She reached for her phone and frowned in hesitancy, unknown number.

“Yes?” she answered the call, rapidly washing her face and looking for her bath oil.

“Lena, it’s Alex” she heard the familiar voice on the other side “I hope you don’t mind, I asked my sister for your number.”

“Did she get home fine?” she asked in concern.

“Yes, she went to bed already” the other woman explained “everyone dished after you two left and Maggie and I, well… doesn’t matter.”

“I’m sorry for ruining your night” Lena said, upset. She had ruined many people’s nights.

“Don’t worry about it” the redhead sighed “I wanted to know if you’d like to… go out. My night wasn’t the best after they left and I think I need to drink something stronger.”

“You do know I’m not drinking, right?” she commented. What could have possibly happened in that meantime? There had barely been three hours since she had left the place.

“I said I need something strong, you can drink water or soda, I don’t know” Alex said, nervous, she didn’t know what to say or how to act around ‘new’ friends.

“Okay” how could she say no to her best friend’s sister? “did Kara say anything after she arrived?” she wanted to make sure the other woman didn’t know something else. She didn’t want to argue with more people.

“No, why?” her tone went up “did you two had a fight?”

“No…” she lied “I’m just… going to take a shower. Where do we meet?”

“I’ll message you the address” Alex confirmed in relief “see you soon.”

Lena hung up and sighed. What had her life become?

 

***

 

Lena thanked God for the place Alex decided to meet, it wasn’t strange or loud, she definitely couldn’t bear loud music. They chose a back table, farther from other people, the CEO noticed most of them were aliens. This fact made her body tense and alert, feeling threatened. No alien was a fan of her last name or her family in general, what if they recognized her? It would be a terrible mess, the sort of stress she was desperately trying to avoid. However, Alec assured her that nothing bad was going to happen and that no one there was looking for conflict. They all wanted the same thing: to drown their problems in alcohol.

“Have we come here to drink and stare at the green guy trying to play pool?” Lena asked in sarcasm, making the redhead roll her eyes.

“I bet you twenty bucks he will hit one of the tables over there” she pointed to the right.
“Deal” she gambled “but seriously, what are we doing here?”

“Does your life need a script and reason for everything?” Alex questioned before swallowing another shot of tequila. The Luthor wasn’t familiar with that side of the agent and was starting to get worried.

“It doesn’t, but I like to be in control of the facts.”

“Control” she laughed, ironic “seems scary, doesn’t it?”

“What do you mean?” Lena frowned, taking a sip of the soda she had ordered.

“Knowing precisely what is going to happen in your life, leaving your days like they are a project where each detail has been studied, calculated, and programmed” Alex sighed “aren’t you scared you’ll never feel things again? I mean, how can you be surprised, be happy to hear unexpected news or to be accepted into college, or even hearing the yes from the person you love” Lena got quiet, thoughtful “aren’t you ever tired of always being in control, being alert, always trying to keep things right?”

Those words hit her guts hard, she was quick to answer

“I don’t know a thing about coincidences or randomnesses, or even about surprises” Lena laughed at herself. Being pregnant was the biggest surprise she had had in her twenty five years of life, besides Lex going insane “all my life was programmed after Lionel took me home. I had the same teachers as my brother, the same expectations, the same plans, same colleges, same priorities. The two only surprises and unexpected events of my life were Lex and this pregnancy.”

“You know, you don’t have to face this subject like it’s a bad thing” she said in a serious tone “but I get it, actually, I just get it superficially. I don’t understand, I’ve never been through this.”

“How am I supposed to face it, then?” she asked curiously, heart almost beating out of her chest “how am I supposed to deal with the biggest change I could ever be through? “ Lena raised her voice.

“Hey, I’m not here to tell you what you should do” she pointed out “you’re like me, Lena, don’t think we’re too different” Alex laughed, her sobriety was questionable.

“What do you mean?”

“We both built a huge wall of bulletproof glass around ourselves” she pushed the glasses away and sighed “you know how to care, how to be affectionate, how to speak softly with how you love and treats you well like it is programmed like we had been trained to be like that since we were children, but the truth is that we don’t allow ourselves to feel” she turned her eyes to the clumsy alien by the pool table “it’s how we protect ourselves. You do it all, interact and smile, but you’re on one side of the wall, while others live freely and smile from the outside. At the end of the day, you’re alone and you know that nothing hit you, no one hurt you and nothing made you feel alive.”

Lena didn’t know what to say. She didn’t even know how to react. Alex looked as vulnerable as her, almost drunk, and surrendered. But her words were too real, too sharp and they hit deep. It was almost like the redhead really knew her, knew her too well.

“When I realized I was in love with Maggie I thought it was wrong” she kept going “I fought against it, I even tried to convince myself otherwise, tried to change my mind about my ‘new’ sexuality” Alex laughed ironically “do you know how afraid I was?” Lena shook her head “Maggie made me step out of this glass dome, she helped me understand that I didn’t have to, that I don’t have to keep myself from feeling.”

“I’m scared of feeling” Lena whispered, warm salted tears running through her cheeks “I’m scared of what I’d be capable of if I feel something.”

“It’s terrifying” she confirmed “especially when you don’t have a choice, you have to leave because someone broke down those walls.

“My body was the only thing that belonged to me, Alex” she sobbed “the only thing no one had any power over or had tried to break through. My mom always ruled over what I had to eat, read, study, do and my father didn’t even pay attention. Lex always tried to see my side but in the end, he went insane and tried to convince me to do the same, without even caring if I wanted to, or not. Nothing in my life was ever mine and when I realized I could have a little bit of control, I started calculating and predicting every step I’d take. Alex, my body was always mine, even when everything had gone wrong at least I still belonged to myself. At the end of the day, I could stare at a mirror and know that at least that wasn’t taken away from me” she cleaned her face and tried to breathe “and now…”

“And now it was violated” Alex whispered, aware of the weight of those confessions.

“How can I accept everything to be taken away from me?” the question was much more to herself than for the other woman “how can I…”

“Look at me” the green eyes met the brown and there was a flash of peace for one moment “you don’t have to accept it, you don’t have to let anyone take what’s yours by right. But accepting isn’t agreeing, accepting isn’t saying that what they did was right. Lena, this child isn’t coming to strip you away from your body” Alex continued “it is coming to remind you that it belongs only to you and that you’re capable of amazing things like creating life. It will make you realize you’re not alone and that you don’t have to ever be again, it will show you your body can be healed. From the inside to outside. Allow yourself to feel, Lena, let your heart rest” she reached for the Luthor’s hands and held them “you don’t have to leave your glass dome, but you have to realize there’s somebody inside, with you.”

Instinctively, she released one of her hands and stroked her belly, trying to feel something. Anything. What could all that mean? What would that change do to her routine, concepts, opinions, and plans? “Wait until the seventh month and then we’ll talk” it’s what her lawyer had said. She had been angry, enraged for not being able to do things her way.

“Have you ever been loved unconditionally?” Lena shook her head no “has anyone ever seen you as their whole world? Their reason to live? Has someone ever relied on you to keep living and still kept loving you?” she shook her head again “That’s what you’re going to feel. You may think your body is all you have but for this baby, you are all it has at this moment. Think about it.”

With her hand still on her belly, Lena closed her eyes and cried. Feeling hurt and allowing herself to do so hurt even more. But maybe…maybe it wouldn’t hurt forever

Chapter Text

“Alex?” Kara was startled as she found her sister sleeping on the couch on a Monday morning. Not that it was unusual, but most of the time Alex warned her before coming or at least let her know.

“Speak low and turn off those lights” she groaned, grumpy, and pulled a pillow to her face, sighing “turn off the lights, please.”

“It’s morning, Alex” the blonde crossed her arms and stared at her “and there are no lights on, besides the sunlight.”

“Shit!” she groaned again and sat up. She had to work, either way, had to go home, get changed before heading to the DEO “damn, you look awful” she commented, noticing her sister’s swollen eyes and exhausted face.

“Thanks, you look beautiful too” Kara groaned, sitting down next to her “why are you here? Did something happen?”

“I should ask you the same” Alex frowned “you don’t look well, what is going on?”

“Don’t change the subject” both of them were trying to change the subject.

“I’m the oldest, so spill” Alex never got tired of using the same tactic “c’mon, you know you can trust me.”

“Right” she sighed, barely knowing how to begin “I… Lena and I… shoot” Kara closed her eyes, remembering the night before “we kind of had an argument, it wasn’t a… fight, I think” she bit her lips “I don’t know, Alex, I just… wanted to help, to make her feel better or something like that, but… I can’t… I…”

“Take a deep breath” she stroke her sister’s shoulders “tell me what happened.”

“She wanted to get the adoption papers ready” Kara pouted “but her lawyer told her to wait until the seventh month because she could change her mind. And I asked her... if…”

“She could change her mind” Alex nodded in silence “I see.”

“Lena said she needed to be alone and she… she sent me away” she sighed, fighting the tears urging to come “and that… hurt, a lot.”

Alex took a deep breath and tried to absorb that confiding. It wasn’t simple and much less easy to mediate that situation, especially because she had never been through that or seen someone face something similar to it. Kara was her sister and she would do anything to help her, but the things Lena had told her weren’t hers to share. They had to talk and tell each other how they felt, instead of running away and hiding.

“Kara, dear, listen” she ignored the migraine in her head, also called hungover, and stared at those always so pretty blue eyes “I know you love your friend very much, I know that seeing her like that pains you, and I also know that you don’t fully understand her.” the blond frowned. Alex was speaking greek to her “Lena has been through many things, things that you won’t ever know unless she tells you. You must understand that pregnancy doesn’t always bring happy feelings and moments” Alex explained “try to treat Lena with more patient, more understanding, and even with more love. I know, it’s complicated, but maybe you’re thinking too much about the child and forgetting who’s carrying it” she smiled fondly “be patient, Kara.”

“It’s so hard for me to understand and I swear I’m trying” she sobbed “just wanted… wanted to show her she’d not alone and she doesn’t have to be” Kara confided in distress “it hurts me so much, Alex, more than… kryptonite” that caught the redhead off guard.

“Tell her the truth, Kara” Alex hugged her sister, letting her cry on her shoulder. It crushed her heart to see her so broken

“I can’t, I can’t” she tightened her arms on the other woman’s waist “I can’t…”

“Why not?” she murmured.

“Because I can’t lose her, I can’t risk everything and…” Kara sobbed “and I…” her chest ached and she could feel her emotions getting out of control “that would be…:

“Kara, deep breaths…” she placed a gentle kiss on the blonde hair. Alex had never seen her so desperate and hurt. It wasn’t normal, it wasn’t usual for that to happen.

“I have to go” she got up fast after hearing a siren pass by the neighborhood “I have… have to go and you need to work” the kryptonian cleaned her face quickly and ran to her bedroom.

“Kara…” Alex got up and the room spun. Fucking hungover “Kara, come back… you don’t have to…”

Too late. As she got to her sister’s bedroom she caught a glimpse of a cape flying through the window and disappeared through the buildings of the city. On the clock, it wasn’t even past seven in the morning and the young Danvers had already forgotten breakfast, another sign saying she wasn’t well. Completely unwell. The redhead sat back on the couch and sighed, she didn’t know how to help or how to counsel her sister, that situation was so absurd that even her brain was getting confused. Ignoring her thoughts, she decided to take a shower before leaving for the DEO.

Maybe a little action could help her relax while the world around her was falling apart

 

***

 

Supergirl distracted herself for some time before going back to the base and her mood still hadn’t improved. Winn tried to cheer her up, talking about things the blonde usually enjoyed and even said they could go buy donuts from her favorite bakery. But nothing happened. Kara was barely able to hold a conversation or keep focus in a dialogue. J’onn noticed the hero’s tiredness, mentally and psychologically. Alex, who arrived shot after she left the apartment, kept quiet and watched her sister vanish through those many corridors.

If dealing with bad guys and aliens was tough, dealing with two women who were watching their lives fall apart was tougher. No one could do a lot or say things that would make things just right. Kara was scared and unable to say it out loud, at least for now. Keeping things to herself was her defense mechanism and that didn’t always do her good. Usually, she did it to protect the people she loved, to keep them safe and sound, and then forgetting to take care of her own beating heart and tired body. But how could she put all the dread and distress out there? No one had ever taught her how just like no one had ever told her how much it hurts not knowing what to do.

That’s why Supergirl went somewhere she could find peace, even though she wouldn’t get any answers. However, she expected that perhaps her anger and pain would diminish, that they’d be at least bearable and would let her think straight. Being filled with anguish suffocated her, it burned her deep down and tore her skin from inside out. Like kryptonite. It ached and she wanted to scream. She needed to scream. Closing the door behind herself, the hero turned the rectangular dispositive in front of her on and it quickly showed the image of a woman dressed in blue, long black hair falling on her shoulders. Her mother.

“Anything you wish to ask Alura, you may ask me” the image repeated the same programmed sentence, and for a few seconds, the kryptonian asked herself what she was doing there.

“I wanted you to be honest” Kara murmured, voice shaking.

“Be more specific” the frozen and inexpressive image of her mother answered with the mechanic voice.

“Why did you leave me?” she sobbed “why didn’t you let me stay?”

“I am not programmed to answer this.”

“Why didn’t you tell me it would hurt this much?” she raised her voice “tell me how it’s like to give up on who you love, tell me if it hurt you when you gave up on me like it was nothing!”

“I do not have enough information to give you an answer,” it repeated.

“How can I give up the only part of me?” she screamed “how? Tell me, mom! How can I be strong and watch someone I love to get lost and hurt herself? Why didn’t you tell it would be like this?” Kara sobbed, feeling her body lose control again “Lena is all I have! This child is all that I have left of Krypton, how can I ever let it feel the same way I do?”

“I am not programmed to answer this.”

“I also feel pain, mom!” she screamed “I bleed too, I fall and I also have a heart that can break! You couldn’t… you couldn’t…” the hero fell on her knees and hid her face behind her hands. Everything was suffocating her “you couldn’t send me here, expecting me to be human when you knew I’d have powers… you didn’t have the right” she sobbed “the responsibility… it… it hurts me, hurts who I love and you… you just… I don’t want to be brave…”

“Kara!” Alex walked into the dim room and stared at the figure resembling Alura, standing still, silent and unbothered. As always. “oh, Kara…” she got down and quickly held her sister in her arms “shhh, it will be okay…”

“No, Alex, it won’t…” she hid her face in the other’s arm “I’m so scared and I don’t like feeling this way” she sobbed “I can’t be weak… I can’t lose everything again, Alex… I don’t…”

“You won’t, you won’t” Alex repeated “you won’t” and kissed her hair, letting her tears stream.

“I couldn’t save them… I couldn’t…”

“Shhh, take a deep breath” she whispered tenderly “it wasn’t your fault.”

“Lena will never forgive me, but I can’t…” she repeated, weeping “this hurts so much, make it stop, Alex!”

“I wish I could, my love” she exhaled “look at me” Alex held her sister’s reddened and anguished face “you’re not responsible for anything that happened to your planet and your mother’s choices are not your fault. Take a deep breath” the blond nodded, trying to calm down “breathe with me, okay?”

Long minutes went by until Supergirl was able to calm down and breathe normally. Her eyes were still red, her face was stained with tears and her hands were shaking, this had never happened before. Fear might be capable of making the body react in strange and unexpected ways. Kara didn’t know how to deal with that, with the fact that she was so scared that her sight was clouded, getting in the way of her thinking. That ache in her chest wouldn’t stop and that exhausted her, in a way that she soon wouldn’t be able to bear.

Being strong demanded too much, being a hero, most of the time, led her to exhaustion. She always wanted to do the best for the planet that took her in so well and always wished to give the best of herself, to be the best version Kara had. Working at CatCo made her human but being Supergirl gave her a feeling that no one could take away, not the way they had taken her planet. That was the way of keeping Kryton alive. Flying gave her a sentiment of freedom as if she could fly back home in Argo City as if she could fulfill her dreams of seeing her friends one more time. Sometimes she would go so high she was almost able to touch the universe around Earth or even almost hold a star.

“Take the day off” Alex finally spoke.

“No” Kara persisted “I don’t want to stay home.”

“And you won’t” she smiled “you will leave here, get changed and you’ll spend the rest of the day with Lena, got it?”

“Lena? She’s… working, isn’t she?” the hero questioned.

“She also took the day off” she lied. In reality, Lena was sick and Alex knew that because she had texted earlier, asking if the CEO was fine after the night before, but she didn’t want her sister to know they had talked. Not yet. “C’mon” Alex helped her up.

“I don’t want to go looking like this…” Kara sighed “Lena is already dealing with a lot.”

“Get changed and show her you’re also trying to understand the situation” she said “now go, and let me know when you get there.”

“Alex” she smiled weakly at her sister “thank you.”

The redhead hugged her one more time and promised herself that she would do whatever she could to never see Kara so broken again. She felt angered by the whole situation, she felt useless for not knowing what to do and being unable to organize that chaos. She wanted to ask Alura if she thought her actions through if she considered what Kara wanted or thought because that still pained her sister. So many lies and so many secrets, nothing ever worked out if you’re honest.

 

***
Lena woke up that morning and went straight to the bathroom, head aching, and stomach complaints. She couldn’t understand why that happened, she hadn’t anything out of the ordinary after she arrived home. Okay, maybe she did try to eat a cereal bar that would spoil soon, but she didn’t think that would cause a whole reaction of disgust in her body. It was like that child didn’t approve of her healthy eating choices. Damn it. She was tired and annoyed, nerves on the edge, and had a sore throat. She waited for her blood pressure to go back to normal and walked back to bed. Without any strength to lift a finger without throwing everything up.

She called Jess and warned she wasn’t going to L-Corp in the morning but would try to show up in the afternoon. She also asked for her to send all the documents and to forward the most important emails to her account, she was going to read them as soon as she got better. As she tossed the phone aside, the Luthor shrank underneath the blanket, still feeling a cold sweat stream, the body shaking, and slept. Her mind was grateful for the resting, as were her feet. She couldn’t even think of wearing one of her tourney skirts and always so high heels.

No, she definitely wouldn’t put herself to deal with slow men and tight clothes.

The conversation from the day before exhausted her. Venting, crying, feeling. The feeling was tiring. She never thought she’d talk to her best friend’s sister, the person who first judged her as Luthor, the woman whose fiance arrested her. What was happening to her life? Why was it all changing? Not that it was a bad thing to talk to the agent, it was still weird and well, she apologized and was extremely honest. Something the Luthor truly values. It was hard to find people like that these days. However, even with the unusual date last night, Lena didn’t figure out why Alex was drinking to forget. What did she want to forget?

At the end of the night, the redhead was in no shape of putting two and two together. Because of that, the CEO didn’t let her drive and took her to her best friend’s apartment, knowing Alex would be safe there. The redhead complained all the way there, saying she could take care of herself, that she didn’t need a nanny, and would be fine on her own. However, if the Danvers wanted to be stubborn, Lena could easily beat her at this game. No way she would let the sister of the person she loved the most in the world to be in danger or alone in that chaotic state. Never.

When the clock hit close to nine and a half, the dark-haired woman rolled over the bed and heard the bell ring. Grudgingly, she tossed the blanket aside and made her way to the kitchen first. Her mouth was dry and her lips were chapped, her throat was still sore due to the vomiting and her whole body felt like it was crushed before she fell asleep. The sentiment was the worst of all. She grabbed a water bottle and drank it in one gulp. feeling the cold liquid go down in relief. The bell rang one more time and only then Lena remembered she was going to get the door.

“Kara?” Lena looked at the blonde, who was carrying a brown purse and had hair falling on her face.

“Hey…” her voice resonated hoarsely, which made the other woman worried “I.. er, I came because…. I know I should have warned, but…” Lena noticed the lack of shining and brightness in those always so intense blue eyes, the dark circles under her eyes, and the weak way she was sighing “I just… just wanted to apologize for yesterday and… - she took a deep breath, avoiding tears and that was the cue the other woman had “and I… I think I just wanted a hug” her lips shook, she was so close to falling apart again.

“Oh, Kara” she pulled her in her arms, holding her tight and stroking her hair. She didn’t know what had happened and it never crossed her mind that her friend was going to feel bad for the little discussion the day before “It’s okay” she murmured.

“I’m sorry” she whispered. It was nice to have somewhere to find support, where she could feel safe again. Alex was the one who kept standing, but Lena was the one who’d let her fall and then would help her up. Kara didn’t always want to be on her feet, it pained her “I’m sorry…”

“Come, get in” Lena pulled her inside and closed the door. Guided her to the sofa and they both sat down “I wasn’t mad at you for yesterday, I just needed some time.”

“I know and I didn’t mean to force you to decide anything” Kara exhaled “I’m still trying to understand how you’re feeling and it’s confusing to me and I want to help you…” the other woman smiled, she had no idea why Kara was still friends with her. There was so much tenderness, affection, and gentleness and that sometimes she didn’t know how to deal with it. Lena was a Luthor after all, and they never deserved such special things like this.

“It’s okay, I’m still trying to understand too” Lena confessed, “aren’t you going to work today?” Kara denied.

“I’m not… feeling so well” oh, it was the first time the CEO heard that.

“You look so exhausted,” she said in concern “you need to rest. Why didn’t you go home?”

“Because I didn’t want to be alone” she looked down and fidgeted with her fingers “and I… I wanted…” she sighed “nevermind.”

“You can tell me, Kara” she reached her hands and intertwined their fingers “that’s what friends are for, right?” Lena smiled and the blonde agreed, although still frowning.

“I wanted a hug” she confessed in embarrassment. Kara felt stupid but hugs were her favorite form of affection. When two people put their hearts close to one another. She wanted to feel her friend’s heart

“Come with me” she got up and reached out for the blonde. Kara reached back not understanding and walked with her to her room, which still had an unmade bed. She had only been there a few times and could count them on her fingers. In all of them, it was very organized.

Lena wasn’t sure of what she was doing or if she was breaking some rules in her friendship. She hoped she wasn’t. She didn’t understand relationships, especially friendships. She never had friends. However, seeing Kara almost fall apart in front of her made her realize she had a side which she didn’t know or even had the faintest idea it existed. Everybody knows that human beings can fall and break, it is natural for the species and it is expected for it to happen. Flesh and bone, it the basic structure. Heart, soul, and emotions. That was the most intrinsic and fragile composition of the human being.

Kara also had a soul, a heart, and emotions. She too could break, and that scared her. It scared her because her friend was always the meaning of light and good moods, of joy and positivity and perseverance. Her faith was what made herself believe that she was a Luthor better than her family, which made her insist on what she wanted and fight for a better world, even though no one cared. That’s why, giving her one of her favorite pajamas, Lena asked the blonde to get changed and to lay down. They both needed to close their eyes and shut off their minds, just letting the hours go by.

The younger Danvers nodded as she got the clothes and went to the bathroom. She was very grateful it was all dark, she didn’t know if Lena would recognize her secret identity, but it had never happened before. They had slept on each other’s homes, never together, for the kryptonian knew well how the CEO cared for her personal space and she’d never cross a line. But now, there she was, ready to lay in a bed with her best friend and beside her. Lena was much more than she imagined of herself she felt lucky for being the only person who knew her heart so well. Of course, knowing the heart and knowing the soul and very different things, but the blonde was patient. At some point, she would tell her the truth and at some other point, Lena would tell her how she felt.

All at its given time.

They laid down and, although it was almost ten in the morning, the room was still dark as the night. Kara felt the softness of the silk on her skin and the sweet smell on the sheet. Everything there was so personal that she wished she’d never leave. However, she was aware she didn’t have a choice, because she knew that when the truth came out, Lena would ask her to go and would never want to see her again. It was the price to pay for all her fears and for the pain that lived at the bottom of her soul. Hence, Kara decided to ignore these thoughts, and the creeping need to cry and tried to hold on that moment.

She was able to hear the heart of the two people she loved most in the world and that was the best sound of her life. It helped her relax.

“C’mon” the other woman moved and opened her arms.

“... Closer?” Kara questioned, confused.

“You need a hug” Lena explained “let it at least be the longest one can give you”

So she moved and hugged her friend’s warm and comforting body, letting her breath normalize and her heartbeat steady in that sentiment of affection. Sleeping with someone after sex was nice, knowing they cared enough to stay and let you process the moment. However, that was truly intimacy and went farther than any sexual relationship. It was proximity without any second intentions, it was seeing each other souls without talking. It was understanding you don’t always have to be alone behind your walls.

 

***

 

When they woke up the clock was reading almost one in the afternoon and their stomachs roared together, making them laugh.

“Are you feeling better?” Kara nodded positively “what was that bag you were carrying?”

“Ah!” her face lit up and she got up, racing to the living room and back. Kara threw them back on the bed and opened it, letting all the books fall on the mattress “I found these books and thought... I thought it might help you?

“And they’re about?” she lifted her eyebrows, observing a cover and its title.

“Pregnancy” Kara frowned. Afraid she might be crossing a line again “they’re not about the child or something like that...they’re more like ventings and stories of many mothers and the hardest choices they have to make. They show a not so glamorous side of pregnancy and how it not only affects the mother’s life” she coughed, nervous “I… er, I hope you won’t be mad... if you don’t want to read them I…

“Kara” Lena smiled and held her hand. “I loved it, truly.”

“I know Seedy is important” she confessed “but so are you…”

“Your little friend will be very upset hearing this and I’ll be the one to suffer the consequences” she teased.

“Oh, no!” she snorted “please, don’t be mad” again, her hands moved towards her friend’s belly, but she backed down “you have got to understand that Lena also needs attention, Seedy” she whispered. The other woman noticed how Kara wanted to touch her again and her heart raced.

“Allow yourself to feel, Lena, let your heart rest” Alex’s voice echoed in her head “Allow yourself to feel”

“Give me your hand” Lena spoke suddenly and the blonde frowned.

“My hand?” she nodded and so Kara extended her right hand. Lena took it and placed in on her lower belly and pressured it there. Her body quickly responded to the warm touch.

“This is where my uterus is” she explained and then let the hands fall a little lower “and this is where Seedy is” the younger Danvers didn’t know what to say, but she could listen to her child’s heartbeats as she traced her fingers on Lena’s pale soft skin.

“Does it hurt?” Lena shook her head in denial “hey, Seedy” she whispered “your mom is the best person in the whole world” the CEO tried to hold the tears back but it was impossible “are you crying? I didn’t mean to make you cry, did I hurt you?”

“No, no” she dried the tears and sighed “it’s the damned hormones.”

“Let’s fo something that will cheer you up, get dressed, put on some comfortable shoes” Kara ordered, getting up.

“And where are we going?” she arched an eyebrow, not wanting to leave home only to get hot and stressed.

“To eat” her stomach roared in response “that’s right Seedy, eating” the blond teased, causing Lena to roll her eyes “don’t worry, we’re not walking too long and are not going to be out too long”

The Luthor went for a shower while the blonde got changed in the room and made the bed. She made sure to let everything very organized, for she knew that even feeling tired or unwell Lena would find a way to tide up that mess. It had been some time since she wanted to take her friend to one of her favorite places, one which helped herself overcome many obstacles when she moved from Midvale to National City. She intended to make this the best place for her friend as well, who knows, maybe they could start to go together and maybe even do it frequently. She then called a friend who worked in the place and planned it out.

Both of them left the apartment and Lena called in the driver, there was no way she would walk in that burning sun or any other Sun. They were dropped in front of an old theatre that the CEO hadn’t the vaguest idea it existed. Kara also didn’t say a thing about what they were going to eat or do, but she hoped it wasn’t going to be anything big or that it would make her emotional. She was done with crying for no reasonable reason. The blonde guided her to the entrance hall, where they could see enormous stairs surrounded by a wood handrail with golden details. The theatre looked abandoned or at least unused, she couldn’t tell, she wasn’t the kind of woman to go to plays or things like that.

By their side, photos and pictures of old performances were hanging on the walls. Children, women, and elders, all holding some kind of musical instrument or in front of a microphone. It was possible to smell the humidity, the dust and that was the reason why that place was dying. However, there was something in it that made her feel a different energy, something good and intense. A soft melody echoed from far away but still made itself heard.

“Hey, Jordan” Kara greeted a tall man.

“Here’s your order, mademoiselle,” he said charmingly, taking his beret off and smiled “just like you ordered’

“I didn’t order, I asked pretty please” the blonde frowned and took the brownish package from his hand.

“Are you going to introduce me?” he pointed to her friend.

“Oh, yes, sorry” she coughed “Jordan, this is Lena and Lena, Jordan,” she said. The Luthor smiled politely and shook his hand.

“Finally I can meet you,” he said excitedly “I was beginning to think you were only from her imagination” he looked at Kara, who immediately blushed.

“Jordan!” she snorted “Did you do what I asked?” she changed the subject. Lena just crossed her arms and stood there, observing their interactions, too interested in what was happening.

“Perfectly” he smiled gallantly, what bothered the CEO “follow me” he made the way “you’re lucky Nora came to practice today, she had been in a bad mood this last month” he commented.

“Are you sure she won’t mind? I don’t want to bother” Kara asked, concerned.

“Of course not, she adores you!” he exclaimed “besides, who would be bothered by your company?” the blonde felt the flush again.

The three of them got into the enormous saloon, where all the armchairs were organized in fixated lines and in front of them, a wooden stage was surrounded by a thick purple velvet curtain. A few instruments rested on the floor or in supports, it was also possible to see what was left from some scenarios and clothes hanged on distorted iron bars. It was like everything was stuck in time and they walked into a victorian theatre. On the left side of the stage, a sweet middle-aged woman with red hair wais playing a simple melody on the piano.

“Make yourselves comfortable and enjoy” Jordan left them after pointed to two specific armchairs. They were bigger than the others and looked a lot like royal thrones.

“Thank you, Jordan” she smiled at the friend “let’s sit”

“Where exactly are we?” Lena murmured, trying not to disturb the musician.

“This used to be National City’s most famous theater in the seventy’s and eighty’s but it was forgotten after the movies took the spotlight” she explained “especially after the city grew”

“And why do you come here?” she questioned, snuggling the soft sit. She thanked heaven for the opportunity to sit down.

“The music helps me relax and forget other noises” she confessed. Lena may not be aware of her super hearing, but she said the truth “it’s like there was no other sound, I know that the walls are protected, but still… it’s like a little escape” she gave a weak smile.

Lena analyzed her friend differently at that moment. The blonde was quieter than usual, more introspected, and even a bit sadder. Still, the light behind her ocean eyes was shinning, she could tell. Being in that theater meant something new, meant a step deeper into their one year old friendship. She wanted to ask Kara what she was escaping from, what sounds she didn’t want to hear, and why she needed to get away like that. But she kept silent.

“Let’s eat and I’ll tell you a story” she opened the package and took out two pieces of pie “this one is mine and this one is yours” she handed the pot.

“Why?” her stomach almost jumped out as she smelled the food.

“Olives” Kara frowned, making Lena laugh.

“Do you hate everything that is green?” she teased.

“All but your eyes” she spoke without thinking and her face immediately reddened. “I… er… I didn’t mean…”

“I’m glad you like my eyes, Kara” she smiled tenderly, but deep inside her heart was screaming “Tell me the story”

“Right” she cleared her throat “this melody that is playing is from a movie that is based on the primordial concepts of the romanticism school” Kara explained, “it tells the story of a sad guy who didn’t have any control of his life and was forced to marry a girl he didn’t know. His parents were rich and, theoretically, so were the girl’s parents” she sighed “but in reality, their families were both greedy and sordid, not caring what their children wanted.

“Seems awful” Lena commented. Although she did know what it was like to have rich greedy parents and no control over her own life.

“It is” she sighed “in the wedding day, he was so nervous that he got all the phrases of his vows wrong and that, at the time, was almost a heresy” she swallowed another piece of pie before carrying on “So Victor ran to the woods and there until he calmed down, he knew he was in trouble and so he decided to say his vows again until he had it word by word” the melody continued to resonate through the saloon and Lena noticed she was truly relaxed, almost forgetting all her troubles and everything outside of that theater “but after he finished it, he put the ring in a branch of a tree or at least that’s what he thought. But it wasn’t a branch it was a corpse’s finger.” Kara simpered.

“That’s.... macabre” she frowned.

“I have a point, let me carry on” Lena nodded and Kara continued “the problems started there because you can’t break a wedding vow and now he was promised to a dead woman. The story now follows on two scenarios: the living world, where everything is colorless, grey and blue, and the dead world, where everything is colorful and ironically alive” she explained “Emily, the corpse bride was happy for finally finding someone but the truth was that Victor didn’t love her. And that hurt” she sighed “Victor loved Victoria and wanted to go back to her, not caring how the other woman felt, after all, she wasn’t supposed to feel a thing. She was dead” Kara looked to the pianist as if she was imagining what it must feel like to love someone and no be loved back “but this is what the movie is about, it’s physical death, not emotional, it’s the exact opposite from the living. It’s like saying joy only comes with death because you don’t worry about what you have any more, you can’t carry anything to the end.”

“I never thought about it like that” Lena sighed “but it is a beautiful philosophy, thinking that while we’re living we’re more concerned about surviving than enjoying it.

“My favorite part of the movie is when Emily realizes she has no chance against the other woman” Kara smiled sadly “they’re from different worlds, different conceptions, and different realities. She could play the piano and dance while Victori couldn’t even leave home by herself because it wasn’t appropriate. But Victoria could breathe, she had pink cheeks and Emily didn’t have any of that, she had lost everything” just like I did, she wanted to add. She looked back at Lena “So in one night she sings: if I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain. If you cut me with a knife it’s still the same, yet I feel my heart is aching Though it doesn’t bet it’s breaking… for that, I still have some tears to shed…

Lena let those words sink in her heart, unsure of what she was feeling.

Opposite to the Luthor, the blonde wished to tell her exactly what each verse made her feel and how she truly felt deep inside. She wasn’t dead like Emily, but sometimes she felt everyone treated her like she was. Yes, it touched a burning candle she would feel no pain, the same went if someone cut her with a knife. But Kara felt her heart hurt and even though she was the girl of steel, her heart and body was flesh and bones, like any other person. She could cry and no one would notice. Emily might be dead but Kara was very much alive. She too could have a broken heart.

“What happened in the end?” the CEO broke the silence.

“Emily gave up on trying something that could never work out, the marriage was on until death did them apart, but death had already done that” Kara sighed “Still, she sacrificed herself for Victor’s happiness and found the freedom she desired, proving that she still had the fire to keep loving.”

“It’s sad, but… it’s also hopeful” she said, still moved by the tale “each person builds their concept of love and I can’t say I know mine” her hand instinctively went to her belly.

Love.

“Have you ever been loved unconditionally?” she heard Alex’s voice echo again through her memory. Truth was, Lena didn’t know a thing about love. So, they both stayed in grave silence and enjoyed the rest of the melody, letting their mind rest and bodies relax.

 

***

 

“Where are we going?” the CEO asked as they went down the theater’s stairs, towards a nearby shopping mall.

“Seedy needs an ice cream” she smirked, making Lena arch an eyebrow “I maybe I need one too.”

“Ah, of course” she snorted “you two will plot against me.”

“I told you, now they’re my best friend” Kara teased “why are you making this face since we left?”

“You don’t realize how much that Jordan likes you” the little Danvers froze before walking through the door.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s so obvious” Lena rolled her eyes, getting in first, in desperate need for the air conditioner relief “the way he treats you, smiles to you, and does everything you ask him to.”

“You also do everything I ask you to.” she pointed out, trying desperately to change the subject and not even realizing what she had just said. Lena crossed her arms and made a smug face.

Two can play this game.

“I hope I have more chances than him” Lena smirked “A Luthor hates to lose.”

“What? lose what?” she was confused “you’re my best friend and has all the chances you want…” her eyes went wide open as she realized what they were talking about “no! I mean… yes, but… oh, Rao, I mean...God!” Kara said lowly “Jordan is just, Jordan he doesn’t stand a chance.”

“I’m glad” she murmured, leaving the subject aside. She didn’t want to ask why she could have all the chances she wanted.

“Look, Lena!” Kara pointed out a baby store “it’s so tiny” she stopped in front of the glass and pointed a finger to a red shoe “this fits a baby’s foot?”

“I suppose so,” she said while observing other products.

There were shirts, dresses, jumpsuits and a variety of shoes. The Luthor wondered if a baby needed all that stuff, like three kinds of feeding bottles or five soothers in different colors. But truth be told, what did she know about pregnancy, babies, or being a mother? It was an unknown world.

The CEO noticed a pair of blue sandals matching a sailor’s hat, or how that little white dress with yellow flowers would go well with the white shoes. It was like doll clothes, she thought to herself, like playing house. But, once again, she never even had the opportunity to play that when she was young. Lilian always said the world raised women to be smaller than men, to stay home, taking care of their children, and not be able to use their brains to object to some of the husband’s actions. Yet she wished she had the opportunity to know what it was like to pretend to be a mother, since now she couldn’t escape this reality.

“Do you… do you want to go inside?” Kara asked, seeing her friend so focused on a pair of clothes “we don’t have to get anything or… anyway if you think you… can’t, or…”

“Sure” she answered honestly, there was no harm in trying.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to” she intertwined their fingers, smiling tenderly.

“I want to” Lena smiled back and they walked in. The store was bigger than it looked.

It was divided into sections, the clothes were separated by estimated age, then came the hygiene and daily products, then the accessories, shoes and finally the toys. The furniture was placed in the back, alongside the strollers and many things Lena had no idea existed. Things like: a bathtub thermometer or different nipples for the baby bottle. Didn’t the baby have only one mouth? Also, she thought they were breastfed most of the time and only used baby bottles after they were a bit older. Theoretically, what she knew, was that the breastfeeding went until two years at least. In other words, she was confused.

 

“They’re so little” she took a shirt and put it in front of her body “how does that fit?”

“It’s supposed to be for someone 10% your height, Kara” she smiled at her friend’s excitement.

“What is this for?” she grabbed a small bombing machine connected to a baby bottle.

“This is for bombing the milk out of the mother” a friendly lady approached “may I help you? Are you looking for something specific?”

“And you can get the milk out?” Kara, was still very entertained with the ‘toy’ “how does it work?”

“Here, take this end and put it to your breast” Lena blushed immediately and but her lips “it sucks the milk out and it goes straight to the baby bottle, see?”

“This is so much fun!” Lena wanted to shove her face in her hands “I’d definitely have one”

“Are you pregnant?” the lady asked.

“No, maybe one day” Kara tried not to be nervous and Lena noticed.

“I am” she confessed, “thank you for your help.”

“Anything you need, call me” she smiled nicely and walked away.

“I’m sorry about that” the blonde murmured while they walked to the other side. “Lena?”

The Luthor had stopped in front of a section with various jumpsuits, one of which was written ‘Mommy is my hero’. And that was too much, especially when the one beside it said ‘Mommy’s kiss heals any hurt’. Feeling like a hero was something Lena always wanted, even though she didn’t have any powers or anything that made her different from every other human being. Knowing that someday someone was going to consider her to be the most powerful person in the world because she was going have a kiss that healed or that would see her as the strongest or the smartest simply because she was able to reach the top shelf or open a bottle of olives or even finding a toy underneath their bed it made her heart feel something more. Something she couldn’t put into words.

Her fingers lingered on the soft cloth and her eyes couldn’t help read that sentence again and the CEO rapidly imagined the fragile and small body of a baby that would look just like her. What must it feel like? To look at someone and know they’re biologically a part of you? That they’re alive because you kept them safe for nice months, you feed them, cared for them. Her hand caressed her belly and she closed her eyes, allowing tears to fall.

This is still my body, she repeated to herself in silence. It’s still mine. Just like this child is mine.

“Lena” Kara waited until her friend opened her eyes “It’s going to be okay, you don’t have to be afraid” she spoke in a soothing tone, noticing how she was still touching the clothing “do you want to take it?” the other woman nodded, not having the courage to way it out loud.

Without second thoughts, the blonde puller the other close and hugged her, letting her hide her face in her shoulder. She didn’t know what it was like to be going through many changes but she certainly knew how changes were scary. It was how she felt when she first arrived on Earth when she had to adapt to a new family and a new life.

“I’m sorry” Lena whispered, her hands in her belly face still hidden “I just...it’s like I have so many tears to cry on a weekly basis” she laughed nervously, making the young Danvers smile.

“Feel free to cry anytime you want” she sniggered “which one?” she lifted the little clothes. The other woman blushed and bit her lips again.

“Both” Lena murmured feeling embarrassed.

“Good, I was ready to convince you to take all of them” she joked “and this one will be my gift to you” Kara took one that was completely yellow and had a blue jumpsuit in the front and came with a matching yellow hat with brown glasses on top of it.

“A minion?” the CEO arched her eyebrows.

“One time you told me Luthors didn’t have friends” she smiled “they have minions.”

Yeah, she had a point.

Chapter Text

“Miss Luthor” Jess walked into the room and stared at the CEO “Miss Danvers is here to see you.”

“Kara?” she asked, confused. As far as she knew her friend was still working, even though it was past seven in the night. Honestly, the Luthor always thought her work hours were strange. If Kara reprimanded her for always being at L-Corp until late, her schedule as a reporter deserved the same criticism.

“No, it’s me” Alex showed up behind the secretary, partially smiling.

“Alex, I wasn’t… please, come in” she got up a bit stunned, unsure of how to react, she thanked Jess and asked the lady to go home.

In those two weeks that passed, she and the older Danvers continued to talk through text messages but never really went out again. It was weird, if not bizarre. Lena didn’t know what to say or expect from that friendship. If she could call it that. Kara was her best friend, they saw each other frequently, talked about everything, and felt comfortable in each other company, free from judgment. However, Alex was truly a complex incognito for her to figure out.

Usually, they talked about things they knew they wouldn’t say to anyone face to face. This easiness appeared after their first conversation in the pub alongside the fact that they knew each other more than they wanted to. When she gave it too much thought, the Luthor felt exposed, almost as if she was in danger. She had never spoken so openly to someone after knowing them for a few minutes and only on their first night out together. Sure, Lena had gone out with her best friend’s sister before, but it was different from being surrounded by their other friends. Now she was her one company for the night.

The topics they approached always started with work and ended up inventing. Although she knew she was crossing her lines, the CEO just couldn’t say how she was feeling to the redhead. It seemed so easy, so comfortable, and relieving. Having her on the other side of a screen, without having to face her, was recomforting and gave her uncommon courage. Sure, courage that only made her feel more like a coward, but still, it was braveness. Besides, it wasn’t just her who was opening up and venting. Alex also lets some confessions, fears, and desires out. Slowly, they were both relaxing, never admitting this was a friendship.

They were too proud to admit it. Hence none of them you asked each other on a night out, until today.

“Sorry to drop by like this, actually I’m not quite sure why I did” she said exasperated “I hope I’m not disturbing anything.”

“No, of course not “ she pointed to the white couch and they both sat down “Did something happen? Is it Kara?” the redhead smirked and rolled her eyes.

“You think I’d only come because of my sister?” she snorted.

“No… it’s not that, I just…” she sighed “I’m not quite sure what we’re doing here but neither of us is particularly good at it.”

 

“You’re right” Alex went quiet until she gathered the courage to say something again. “I need to let some stress out and you’re the only person I know who won’t ask too many questions.”

“So I’m your last option?” she teased “I’m a pregnant lady so you should be careful with what you say.”

“Don’t talk shit, Luthor” she smiled “first of all I came so this should count as a positive point, and second if we’re using this pregnancy as an excuse then I’m obliged to ask you if you’ve eaten anything after midday.” she crossed her arms and stared at the other woman. Lena sighed, disappointed she lost the discussion, and rolled her eyes, giving in.

“And that’s why every health professional only recommends one Danvers per lifetime” she groaned and Alex let out a laugh “and where do you intend on taking me tonight, agent Danvers? Let it be known I’m not an ‘everywhere’ woman.”

“Yes, I know it so Miss Luthor” teasingly, she continued “you’re not any woman, I assume, and neither am I. Don’t underestimate me.” She winked.

“Such a mysterious tease” she smiled playfully “do remember who is the mother of this child” she kept going as she got up and took her things “Supergirl might show up if you cross any line.”

“Do remember she works for me” provoked “and she wouldn’t dare to defy me.”

“Intimidating, Danvers?”

“More than you can imagine, Luthor.”

That was the way they both dealt with nervousness and the lack of control the situation had. It was comical, once they both were terrible at personal relationships and even worse when those involved having to show who they were. Alex hated not knowing what was going to happen, that feeling of “unknownness” made her invulnerable. The same went for the CEO, who hated losing control of what she did or felt because it let her guard down, and usually when that happened, she wasn’t able to defend herself. That’s why, they liked the jokes, the teasing and they knew that was their only way to keep themselves aware of any rupture that new friendship might suffer.

They made their way in silence, hearing only the radio playing silly songs. The redhead drove to her favorite place, never telling the other woman where they were heading, and parked in front of it. It wasn’t a well-located space, although it was near the center of National City, it didn’t seem very crowded. Lena could notice some motorbikes parked on the sidewalk, there was a bar not very far and an exit on the end of the avenue that headed to a road to Metropoles. A city that Lena didn’t want to go back to soon, even though it was her home town.

She was internally hoping that the place wasn’t going to be noisy or crowded with aliens, not over prejudice, but because she knew someone would recognize her - which wasn’t very hard - and try to harm them. As they went into the hall, she noticed a bar to their left that looked a bit eventful, if you were to compare it with the lack of vehicles parked outside. Alex smiled at a guy covered in tattoos and slightly high as if she was a usual client and held the Luthor’s hand, trying to pass over some confidence. It wasn’t like the CEO didn’t trust her, but she definitely wouldn’t put her life in that agent’s hands.

Another guy approached them, this time a sober one, looking like he owned the place.

“Rough day, Danvers?” He shook their hands.

“One of those” she smiled “I need to de-stress.”

“Of course you do” he seemed excited “and you brought a different company tonight.”

“Oh, yeah” she turned to her side “this is Lena, she’s a… a.. - she looked at the other woman, unsure of her words, or lack of words.

“A friend of her sister.” Lena completed, not willing to define what exactly she’s and Alex’s relationship was. They weren’t friends, right? Not yet, she thought.

“Nice to meet you, a friend of her sister” he joked “here’s the key, you know how it works, no need to go through it again.”

“Thank you” she smirked, “and, you know when I leave…”

“Your drink will be waiting for you, I know, I know…” the guy laughed and then disappeared in the group playing cards on one of the tables.

“Should I be concerned that this is an illegal activity that satisfies your darkest desires and so you keep it a secret?” Lena asked curiously, hiding the fact she was a little scared too.

“I am an FBI agent, can’t have this luxury.” she teased, guiding them along the dim hallway.

“That is a luxury only us Luthor’s have.” She followed the other woman without complaint, hearing her stilettos echo from the floor to the walls and feeling a shiver through her spine. “And we both know you don’t work for the FBI.”

“Oh, you know my secret identity!” she faked a gasp.

“I have to know someone’s.” she joked.

“You do know how to ruin my good mood’ she sighed “what kind of dark joke was that?”

“What can I say?”

“That you’re a Luthor” she finished the sentence “and that doesn’t change anything for me.”

“I’m flattered, Miss Danvers, but I would like to know what are we doing in this dark room.” she looked around the darkness until Alex turned the lights on.

“Have you ever played dart, Luthor?” Lena soon saw all the cabinets where guns were displayed and pointed directly to little metal men on the other side. Protective headphones were on a small stand by her side.

“Usually I’m the target” she teased “is this where you come to relax?”

“Adrenaline makes me feel better” she confessed, “It doesn't have anything to do with some murderous desire, but it’s good to release anger and frustration in a… more intense way.” She took the Luthor’s belongings, placed them on the stand, and reached for two enormous guns on the locker “do you know how to shoot?”

“I suppose so” she took one gun “may I know why are we searching for adrenaline?”

“First we shoot, then we drink” she looked deadpanned at her “and only then I’ll be able to have a conversation.”

“Don’t forget I’m not drinking and it’s not by choice” she commented, putting on the headphones and loading the gun.

“This child is wise” she locked her knees and took the position to shoot “‘bossy like a Luthor.’”

“More like ‘correct like Supergirl’” she imitated Alex’s position, hearing the first shot echo through the room and go straight to the red spot on the metal man. “and I still have seven months ahead.”

“The whole life, if you want to” the redhead heard Lena shoot “It’s just a matter of letting yourself go and doing what you want, instead of allowing your fears to control you.”

“I thought we were going to talk about your problems” she sighed “I can’t even drink alcohol and use it as an excuse.”

“Leave that to me” she smiled and shot again “use your hormones as an excuse, it’s pretty convincing.”

“I have other ways of sounding convincing and I believe you’re not going to like it” Lena aimed and shot, the bullet hitting the exact center of the figure, impressing Alex.

“Are we competitive today?” she teased.

“Emotionally unstable, I’d say” Lena smirked “I’d never compete against you, I’m just an amateur.”

“You’re doing pretty well for an amateur.” the redhead continued “should I be concerned about the Luthor's raising? Was shooting one of your Middle School subjects?

“Yes, alongside it was right before “How to kill a Super” and afterward we had “How to be humanly incapable of real emotions.” she appealed for sarcasm again “The first one was also during High School too.”

“I love your sense of humor” Alex laughed ironically “makes me feel a little less fucked up.”

“Oh, you’re welcome, it’s why I’m here for” Lena rolled her eyes.

“How do they say it? ‘That’s what friends are for’” she joked “the most ridiculous phrase there is.”

“It doesn’t work with you because we’re not friends” another bullet flew, hitting one of the distant targets.

“No, we are not. You’re just a friend of my sister.” She smiled and Lena couldn’t help laughing, she turned to look at Alex “what?”

“Do you enjoy spending time with me?” Lenabluntly asked. Something that had been bothering her in the past two weeks “or are you just keeping me under your sight if I make a mistake?” she tried to go back to the irony.

“I don’t have to keep you around to arrest you” she kept shooting “and if you maybe had done something wrong, I am pretty sure that you’d be the first person to turn yourself in and confess. You can say whatever you want about Supergirl’s righteousness, but you two act and think a lot alike” Alex added, “and you’re nice-ish too.”

The Luthor raised her brow, almost outraged by that adjective.

“Don’t say -ish.” she went back to position and aimed.

“Are you angry-ish?” she teased, making the other woman laugh “C’mon Lena, just accept the fact that I like spending time with you.”

“I’ll believe it but only because you used my first name.” she shot “but I still want to know what happened that you had to bring me here. And no, I won’t take no for an answer, I’m pregnant so you should do what I ask you.

“Fine” she nodded, frowning “Good thing we’re not friends.”

“Yes, thank God we’re not” she rolled her eyes “you’re very annoying.” She heard Alex snort and let out a laugh.

“Okay, Luthor” Alex shot one last time “let’s talk, but first” she put the headphones back into place “what’s your middle name?”

“That is not up for discussion, Danvers” she smiled “if you want to know you have to admit I’m your friend.”

“Never.” Alex smirked

Yeah, she thought to herself, this is a real friendship.

 

***

 

Lena observed Alex drink more than she should on a Tuesday evening and more than she should for someone who was ‘relaxing’. She could feel the redhead nervousness and fright and most of all, her silence. Because she was more susceptible to a mental breakdown, the CEO felt like it was easier to open up, she was crying daily, even if she wasn’t feeling down. But, for Alex, that only made things more complicated. They knew how each other felt, they got each other’s time and space and never crossed any lines, it was what made them ‘friends’, even if they wouldn’t say it out loud. They were too similar, all the same fears, the same manners.

The Danvers kept shooting tequila down her throat, making her grimace, feeling the liquid burn to the stomach. It was always easier to deal with problems when she was drunk. It’d hurt less. However, Lena was there, watching and waiting for answers. She would never ask directly, knowing Alex would dodge every question. No, Lena was going to wait for her non-friend to tell her what was bothering her so much. To see her drink and fall like that made her nervous, it wasn’t the first time that was happening. And that worried her.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Lena said seriously, moving the tiny cups away “you’re crossing the line.”

“Stop being so bossy” Alex answered, dragging each word and laughed “you’re acting like an annoying mom.”

“Perhaps because I am one now.”

“Yeah… what I’ll” she sighed “I’ll never be.”

After that confession, Lena froze for a few seconds and stared at the tired woman in front of her. What did she mean by that? Before she could ask, Alex put her hand over her mouth and muffled a painful hiccup. She was tired, trying to escape a brainstorm of confusion. Lena didn’t know what to do, she was never a friendly shoulder or had to comfort anyone. That was completely new.

“I’m sorry” Alex whispered trying to fix her face “I just… I…”

“You don’t have to apologize” she held the other woman’s hand and intertwined their fingers, deciding against going for a hug “let’s get you home, you need to rest, that’s enough relaxing for today.” Alex nodded silently.

They left the place and this time Lena was the one driving. The agent kept her face on the window all the way, feeling some stubborn tears mark her cheeks and eyes almost closing with exhaustion. Neither of them had the guts to say a word about the situation and so that an end on the subject. At last for now. As they arrived at the redhead’s apartment, the CEO helped her up and waited for her to have a cold shower. While waiting, she found some pills for the morning after and helped her get to bed, as the agent slept almost immediately. She checked everything again to make sure everything was in order and called her driver, knowing something very wrong was happening to Alex.

 

***

 

Between endless meetings, the Luthor finally managed to sit down and find something to eat. Being a CEO was much more complicated now that she was pregnant, all her senses were expanding and her patience only seemed to reduce, but the hotness was by far the most annoying feeling. During a meeting with investors in the morning, she was so close to throwing up as one of the men stepped into her space like some did, knowing Lena Luthor was a single woman. She was more than used to receiving compliments, dinner requests, and indecent propositions. She refused them, always. But the strong manly lotion made her stomach turn, in fact, anything related to strangers and her privacy made her sick. It was almost impressive.

For example, on the day a woman was among a group of visitors in the lab, she was the CEO of an important company in Metropolis and came along with the scientists who were to analyze L-Corp’s new department. She was beautiful, blessed with an astonishing smile and venerable intelligence, the dress she was wearing also painted a magnificent picture of her curves. There was nothing about her that would cause any discomfort in the Luthor, being honest, she might have even accepted going to dinner if she asked. And yes, there was an invitation, one that she didn’t even have time to answer as her stomach rolled and she had to leave the place running.

As she got to the bathroom, the sickness suddenly vanished. It was like something was keeping her from approaching new people and even people she didn’t have traces of intimacy with. In fact, if she thought about it, it seemed like that child was bothered by Lena’s proximity to strangers, any kind of proximity really. After all, the only people she was able to get close to were Alex and Jess, and most of all, her best friend Kara.

Yes, she must be going insane, for she refused to believe that child was already getting in the way of her life so early on.

Ignoring these issues and walking back to her office, she ordered lunch - although it was only ten and a half in the morning - and began to distract herself with some research. Reaching for the air conditioner remote Lena lowered the room’s temperature for the third time that morning, the heat was almost unbearable, like she was standing in hell. Her body was on fire and all she dreamed of was a cold shower. Her feet ached inside those uncomfortable shoes and so, she took them off, sure that no one was going to see it anyway. The only other thing bothering her like the devil was her bra, which was already getting too small. Her breasts had doubled and her nipples were more sensible and sore. It was hell on earth, she thought to herself, and there are six months to go.

Lena sighed. She never thought pregnancies were that stressful. Always believed it was like the movies, astonishing women that barely gain any fat and still exercise even though they are carrying a six-pound being inside themselves. She took a minute to stare at her figure and the conclusion upset her. Since she found she was pregnant, it was almost impossible to stop eating, and now, and they arrived in the third month, her belly was beginning to take shape. Soon, it wouldn’t be possible to keep it a secret.

“You’re not going to make me get twenty pounds, are you?” she whispered, hand caressing the belly and eyes on the computer screen “You’re already being too bossy, how do expect me to spend six months and a half not seeing anyone? She smirked, lightly stroking her tissue “you’re a jealous little being.”

She carried on her research, one which had nothing to do with L-Corp and surprised her in every detail.

“Due to the yellow sun on planet Earth, kryptonians are gifted with inhuman strength and other powers” read interested “their skin will always be hot, what won’t allow them to feel cold or get burned like other human beings, also, very few blades and other sharp objectives are able of hurting them, they are also bulletproof” she reclined back and stared at directly at where her bellybutton was covered. Was that the reason why she was feeling so hot? The baby had a hotter body temperature than hers? It made sense “furthermore, they possess heat vision, x-ray vision, and frost breath. super hearing, the ability to fly and to run at a very high speed which demands a much heavier diet from them, mainly made of carbohydrates, for their bodies consume thrice the energy than of a regular human being” for fuck’s sake, Lena cursed in silence “thrice?” she said, impressed “this all I needed.”

How would she feed a child that needed thrice the amount of food she was able to eat? Also, would this child be fully kryptonian or fifty percent? Biologically speaking she knew that it was supposed to be a combination but was it the same way in alien science? Right, she could not panic now, not inside her office with her secret just by the door. She needed to keep calm and call Supergirl to clear some things up.

For example, if this child had her other mother’s powers, could they, perhaps, contaminate kyptonians the person carrying the baby? For a lack of better words.

At that moment, she remembered what J’onn said in the DEO, that Lena had no scratches and it was a bit strange, given that humans are fragile beings. With that in mind, she reached for a metal clip on her table and twisted it, the pointy side facing the ceiling. That was insane and she was certain regret coming in a minute. However, there were too many questions and not close to enough answers, she wanted to learn it, to know more, and could barely make sense of why she was so interested all of the sudden. Something inside herself didn’t want to fail that baby.

“If I go mad, the fault is entirely yours, know that Seedy” Lena murmured to the belly and sliced her hand with the small sharpened metal, closing her eyes, waiting for the pain and the feeling of rolling dripping. But nothing happened. Nothing happened, not one trace of the cut “this is… impressive” she inhaled and tried one more time, now aiming her arm. Once again, nothing. “what more should I expect from you?” she caressed her stomach “I’m not going to lie, I’m scared. So scared…” Lena sighed and carried on reading “Krypton was a planet illuminated by a red sun, to which kryptonians believed it was divine being named Rao.... why is this name so familiar to me?” she questioned, but decided to let it pass “the main city, known as Argo City was divided in fields, to what only two are known by us: the scientific and the military. The House El was placed in the precise middle of the city and, although there were other Houses and clans, this family was responsible for the City, using a simple governmental counsel. The symbol of House El is an S centered in a five-sided irregular polygon. The S stands for hope and the emblem El Mayarah stands for ‘stronger together’” Lena shot a brief smiled “I’m not gonna lie, your mother is much more interesting than I had thought.”

“Miss Luthor” the secretary came in suddenly, making the CEO jump from the chair and her heart race.

“Jess” she smiled politely “you startled me.”

“I’m sorry, but your mother is here” Jess informed, noticing the other woman’s hand on her belly “Do I let her in?”

“Of course” she answered quickly “wait, my mother?” she closed her computer a tried to breathe slowly.

“Excuse me, thank you for announcing me for my own daughter” Lilian slithered through the door and entered the room, wearing a presumptuous smile “since when do I need to be announced?”

“Mother, I didn’t expect to see you so soon” Lena truly meant to say she didn’t expect to see her again but her better judgment didn’t let it “what do you want? What are you doing here?

“Lena, why are you so down?” she read each detail in her daughter. Lilian may be the worst mother to ever exist but she knew her daughter well, well enough to notice something was wrong. “your skin looks more… radiant, but I still can see the tiredness and did you… did you gain weight?

“How delicate of you” she rolled her eyes “I’ll only ask one more time, what are you doing here?

“Can’t a mother simply visit a daughter that is now taken for a hero?”

“A mother can, you can’t. Be brief Lilian, I have work to do.”

“It doesn’t look like you’re working” she pointed a finger to the spot where part of her lunch was left unfinished “for what I know, you were never one to lunch”

“You don’t know many things about me, anyway” she answered strictly, but before she could continue the conversation, a soft thud was heard and wind blew into the room, her heart raced. She didn’t even need to turn around, she smiled “Supergirl”

“Miss Luthor, I was flying by and saw that an inhospitable visitor decided to show up” Kara lied and stared straight at Lilian. What she wanted to do was take her friend and mother of her child far away from that woman. “Is there any trouble?”

“Let’s hope not” Lena answered, unsure of her next move. Her mother and the superhero looked like they were about to start a war right there. She turned to Lilian “should I expect any trouble?”

“Why am I not surprised that she is here.” Lilian said with disgust “this is a family meeting.”

“I want her to stay” the CEO intervened “and I want you to tell me why you’re here.”

“Interesting how people are really able to fool others, don’t you think?” she smiled “be them human or not” her eyes fell on Supergirl aware that the kryptonian knew what she was talking about “your time is still to come” she finished “anyway, I only came to tell you that I’ll be expecting you for a dinner I’m hosting this weekend for some old friends. They want news about L-Corp and the new investors” she got up and smiled again “It will be at seven and please be presentable. Your current state is deplorable” Lilian walked past the door and turned around one last time “and choose your friendships better. Goodbye, Lena.”

They watched the older woman leave the room and felt the tension dissipate. They were alone again.

“Are you okay?” Supergirl asked, she didn’t like the way Lilian spoke about her daughter’s appearance at all.

“Yes” she answered still lost in the situation “how did you know?”

“I was patrolling the area” she frowned with the lie “and was worried when I saw Lilian here.”

“Didn’t know you were an overprotective mother… but I’m fine, I just need to rest and to change into something less uncomfortable. You can go back to what you were doing.”

“Right” she sighed. She didn’t understand why Lena still was so defensive around her “shouldn’t you but more… comfortable? Soon these will bother you to breath…” her face turned bright red as she realized what she had just said.

“I’ll keep it in mind” she smiled “thank you,”

The hero didn’t say anything else because she knew it wouldn’t have the same weight if it was coming from Kara’s mouth and not Supergirl’s. And so, the blond had an idea.

 

***

 

“Miss Luthor” Jess knocked again.

“Fucking hell” she murmured to herself and turned around with the fakest of smiles “yes?”

“Miss Danvers is here to see you”

“Be more specific Jess” she sighed “Kara or Alex?”

“Kara” she answered “I know you gave me orders to not let anyone in, but I thought…”

“It’s okay, thank you” her relief was palpable. Kara was always a great company “let her in.”

The secretary left the room and was replaced by a blond woman wearing very characteristic clothes. On one hand, she carried a brown package, as always, and the other held a book with a pink cover and an image Lena couldn’t decipher. They smiled at each other and the Luthor got up to hug her friend.

“Are you barefoot?” she commented noticing Lena was standing on her normal height “Jesus, Lena, it’s freezing in here” even if she didn’t exactly feel cold, the younger Danvers was still able to notice sudden temperature drops.

“My feet are killing me and so is the heat” she grumbled “apparently I’m the only person, in the whole city, feeling like this . It feels like global warming is happening inside my body.” all her words came out tired.

“Here, I got this for you” Kara handed out the package “and don’t worry, it’s not candy.”

“I’m impressed” Lena took the package to find a small pot with fruit salad in it. Her stomach immediately complained “I’m not sure if Seedy is going to like this.”

“Fruits are good for their development and they are sweet, anyway” she smiled “you should try it.”

“I don’t have much of a choice.” she sighed. Not with food or people she completed in her head.

“I got the app’s new update for this week, do you want to hear it?” she smiled excited and guided them to the couch. Lena rolled her eyes and laughed, of course, her friend was having the time of her life with that situation “er… I’m sorry… if you don’t want to…”

“No, read, please I want to know which stage of hell I’m descending to.” she teased.

“Christ, Lena.” Kara grimaced “right, we are in the ninth week of pregnancy, and look! Your baby almost has all of their fingers developed and their face is starting to take shape. In this phase, they begin to be called fetus and their arms and legs continue to grow. As for the mother, her uterus now has twice the size it had before and the belly will begin to show. In some, it is more apparent, but her clothes will begin to tighten up” she stared at her friend for a few seconds and continued. Soon she was going to put her plan to action “your breasts also grew and began to gain weight, due to the mammal glands production, which means, time to change bras!” Lena was very entertained by the way Kara read the text with spontaneity and joy. It was almost like she was the one expecting “nausea will keep going until the twelfth week and you must continue with the acid folic supplements.”

“So I’m going to have to change my whole wardrobe” she sentenced “we should be able to have babies like kangaroos and carry them in a pooch, it would be so much easier.”

“You have some weird thoughts, Lena” she grinned “how are you feeling? Have you been taking the supplements?”

“Yes, doctor” Lena smirked “and I have been eaten twice as much and my boobs are killing me” the blond blushed hard and coughed.

“I have an idea” Kara changed the subject quickly “in fact, several ideas, but I… er, thought that maybe we could start off… slow?”

“And what is your mastermind idea this time?” curiosity kicking in “nothing involving noisy places and many people, please.”

“No, of course not” she sighed “I wanted to… actually, uh… I thought we could go shopping for new clothes… you know, more comfortable ones” Kara cleared her throat “these skirts look so tight…”

“Right now, I just want to take them off…” she spoke in innocence, her friend, on the other hand, turned bright red imagining the scene “but maybe changing my wardrobe would be a good idea, since I’m still going to carry Seedy for six and a half months.”

“It’s a grape now” Kara corrected “Seedy is now a grape.”

“Whatever, an app is not going to tell me what I should call my child” her defensive side came to light without her even noticing it.

“Okay, mama bear” she teased “so can we go? I think it would be… nice” she shot a shy smile.

After all, what could go wrong?

 

***

 

The driver was quick to get there and in no time they were on their way to the store the blond said sold nice clothes for pregnant women. Everything was still so surreal: being pregnant. It felt like a parallel reality, where everything was but an illusion and a scary version of her life. Even with Kara’s overexcitement, Lena was still unable to let herself feel everything that pregnancy gave to her. Of course, she was aware that some of the actions were completely automatic and involuntary as if her body and conscience made her behave as a mother, even though she had already decided she wasn’t going to be one.

Agent Danver’s words echoed in her mind, making her calmer but also a bit more desperate. What if she falls for that child? What if she didn’t want to give up on it? Her thoughts were confusing and her fear gradually grew. After what she had read in her brief research, knowing that her baby could have her other mother’s powers scared her to death. How would she keep that child away from her own mother? Away from Cadmus and other dangers? How would she, a Luthor, hide the fact that her child is half alien?

Her life was about to fall apart. She couldn’t, even if she wanted, to mother that small life growing in her. Suddenly, her hand moved to her belly and she let out a worried sigh. She had to ensure its safety, no matter what she felt, no matter how much she wanted to keep it to herself.

“I’m sorry” Lena whispered and the blond sitting next to her turned around.

“Are feeling pain? Nausea?” worry creeping in her. The driver parked in front of the store and waited patiently for them to exit.

“No, just bothered” it wasn’t a lie, she turned to Kara “hold this for me” it was her purse. And so her hands traveled quickly inside her shirt and undoing her bra “this is killing me” Lena justified nervous and tossed the piece of fabric in the car.

Kara felt her heart stop for a few seconds, seconds that felt like hours. Oh, Rao. Lena did just take her bra in front of her?

Oh, Rao.

Breathe. She had to breathe. Inhale, exhale. Or was it the opposite way? Christ, she didn’t remember. Her brain had melted. The young Danvers coughed in a clear sign of nervousness and fixed her glasses on her nose, in a failed attempt to pull herself together and forget that moment. They smiled at each other and got out of the car, the Luthor barely noticing the effect she had on her friend.

“Is everything okay?” she asked the blond.

“No… I mean, yes! I just… er, I’m just… feeling hot?” another lie “maybe it’s the lack of air conditioner, I don’t know…”

“If you're feeling hot, picture how I’m feeling… I’d sleep inside a refrigerator and burn all my bras if I could” she commented walking toward the underwear section ''so, where do we begin, Miss personal style?”

“Uh, right…” desperation was starting to kick in “bras, let’s start with them…” oh, Rao.”

A sudden thought occurred to her.

How… would she give her opinion on something like that? Also, how would she see Lena try those things on? Her face went red in shame. Kara was about to see her friend in underwear for the first time. What a great idea, she thought to herself, of course, her stupid brain didn’t think of that. Now there was no escape. She promised to help the CEO and she intended to keep that promise, even if it felt like her heart was about to explode. Breathe. She had to breathe. It couldn’t be so bad, it was just… well, best not to think about it.

“Kara?” she frowned, looking at her friend.

“Right, right… give me your purse and let’s… let’s take a look at the clothes.”

After a painful slow half an hour of going through clothes and Kara avoiding looking at her friend, afraid she’d notice her nervousness, they went to the dressing room, the Luthor insisting her friend would accompany her so she could give opinions. Even if she was very private and conscious about her personal space, Lena always had a lot of confidence when it came to her body. It was something she was proud of, not ashamed of. And for that reason she didn’t think it was going to be uncomfortable for either of them, after all, that’s what friends are for right?

As she took off her clothes and looked at the mirror in front of her, Lena was already able to see the small but noticeable changes. Her skin was more hydrated and oily, just like her hair looked more alive than ever. However, as much as she liked these new features, it only took a small turn, and looking at her figure on the side, the small curve on her belly was beginning to show. It was real, she was pregnant. Not that she had any doubts, for God’s sake she had heard the heartbeats. But, standing there now, she was facing the hardest part: acceptance. Inadvertently, the CEO started crying and when she noticed the tears, she did her best not to look in the mirror to see the miserable person in her place.

She took one of the bras and put it on, feeling the tissue around her breasts in a comfortable way. As beautiful as that item was, she sighed looking in the mirror. Not feeling that pretty and wondering if her body was ever going to be the same,

“Lena?” the blond shouted outside the curtain. Kara could hear her friend's heart beating in despair, almost breaking her own. Alongside it, there was another heartbeat and, at the same time it calmed her down, she could only think how distressing it must be for her friend “Lena, is everything okay?”

“I don’t know if I want to do this anymore” she whispered from the other side and suddenly opened the curtain separating them “I’m feeling terrible, Kara” hiding her face in her hands she confessed “I don’t… don’t look at me, like I’m…”

The tension shifted and it weighed on them, the kryptonian knew she had to do something about it. So, for the first time, she allowed herself to look at her friend’s body. Yes, she had caught a glimpse of it during that ultrasound consult but she looked away in one second. Now, her eyes memorized every inch of pale, velvet Luthor skin. Kara panted heavily and forced herself to focus. She was doing that for her friend, determined to find every compliment and positive adjective on the dictionary, and quote them to Lena. Although truth was, she was barely able to say a word to describe what she was seeing.

Lena had the most beautiful body she had ever seen and yeah, she had never been with a woman before, but it was true. She always found her friend extraordinary, extraordinary in mind and body. It pained her to see her cry and think she wasn’t pretty, even her pregnancy only made her even more impressive. On that thought, the young Danvers removed the other’s hands from her face and looked at the green eyes, reddened by the tears, and smiled.

“You look beautiful” she smiled even harder “and you’ll only keep getting more beautiful, Lena.”

“You’re saying that because I haven’t gained all the weight yet” Lena grumbled “I can’t even look in the mirror and find something I like about myself.”

“Look at me and let’s remember why we are here, okay?” the CEO nodded “are your..er…” she looked at the bra and felt her cheeks burn “are… they… comfortable?” Lena smirked.

“My boobs, Kara” she corrected grinning “and yes, they are.”

“Great!” she took a step back, creating a somewhat safe space between them “try the other two and I'll be waiting for you here.”

“I’m so hungry, starving” complained “when we’re done here…”

“We’re going to eat, I know. I’m starving too.”

Lena got into the dressing room again and tried not to break down again. She tried the other pieces but the colors didn’t do it for her, but the trousers Kara had chosen for her fitted her legs perfectly, they were also much more comfortable than the ones she was used to wearing. In the meantime, the blond entertained herself with a magazine from the store and tried to take the image of Lena in underwear out of her mind. But, no matter how hard she tried, it was like her brain refused to.

She was almost finishing her reading when she heard a woman’s voice down the hallway. The woman was complaining about something and Danvers was quick on recognizing the owner of that voice.

Helena Bertinelli. Fuck.

“Oh, Rao” she whispered to herself in panic. Would she remember her? Maybe even ask about Lena?

Oh, Rao! Lena! She could leave that room in an instant and of course, that woman would notice the small but visible curve on her belly. On impulse, the blond pushed the curtain and entered the dressing room, pushing the other woman to the wall and knocking all the hangers down. What caused a suspicious sound. Kara felt her face burn and, when stopped to look at her friend, all her senses paused.

Lena was only wearing panties, breasts exposed, and almost touching her own.

“Kara!” she exclaimed nervously but the other woman covered her mouth.

“I… er…” she coughed anxiously. Damn it, what would she say now? “oh, heavens… I just…”

 

Silence fell on them and their eyes met. The CEO could feel her nipples quickly respond to that contact and tingling on her sex. Her breathing got heavy and the heat of the blond’s body made her goosebump. She was so fucking hot and she couldn’t control it. Kara kept their body’s close, so close that she felt she could combust without a simple touch. Lena hated being pregnant, hated not being able to find someone to just fix that issue. And, most of all, she hated those god damned hormones.

The kryptonian was still. It wasn’t like she couldn’t hear the Luthor’s heartbeat so fucking fast. Shit. Why did she have the most absurd ideas in the worst moments? Now what? What could she possibly say to get out of that situation? Oh, Rao… why, of all people, did she have to be attracted to her best friend?

“Can you let go of my mouth?” she sounded muffled.

“Yeah… I… right” a deep breath “that friend of yours is outside” she couldn’t help to roll her eyes saying the word ‘friend’.

“Helena?” the blond nodded “fuck’s sake. And if I go out like this or with my clothes, she is going to notice…”

“We’re going to wait here until she leaves. It’s okay.”

“Right” she sighed, and suddenly remembered she was basically naked “I… I need a shirt…”

“Okay, okay… a shirt, uh…” she grabbed the first shirt she could find, it was one she had chosen but didn’t say anything to Lena “put this on.”

The CEO nodded and put on the beige shirt, it felt a bit too large. As she looked in the mirror, she noticed the writing in front of it, alongside a childish pomegranate drawing.

‘Mama’s little pomegranate’

She felt her eyes tear up and her hands moved to her belly. Stupid hormones. The shirt went down to the thighs, leaving a bit of underwear visible. Her breasts weren’t being pressed by any tissue and Lena wished she could stay like that forever. Just her and her baby and the comfort of looking at herself and feeling something warm in her chest. Kara observed the scene and smiled, amazed by it. She never thought it would be possible to be so in love with two people at the same time. Lena wasn’t wearing anything fancy, far from it, she was barefoot, wearing only panties and a shirt that did a bad job covering her arse, her hair was messy because of the constant changing of clothes and still, Kara had never seen her look so beautiful.

That’s when an idea occurred to her.

“Lena, can you… er, can you lean on the wall again?” The CEO looked at her confused but did as told “now, stand on the side” Kara moved her so she was in the position she pictured “right, now… lift the front of your shirt and put both hands on your belly… yeah, like that, can I…?” she pointed to her hair and the other woman, feeling the warm hands place a lock of hair behind her ear. “Now, look down at your hands...yes.” she smiled, Lena Luthor was the most amazing woman in the world “don’t move…”

“What are you doing?” L7ena asked without moving and heard clicks coming from her friend’s phone repeatedly.

“I’m going to prove to you that every month that goes by, you’ll only look better” Kara showed her the pictures “See? You two look beautiful…”

“Thank you, Kara” she smiled, ecstatic. Their eyes met, more intense than ever. The Luthor looked down at the pink lips and felt her mouth water. What would they taste like?

“Lena?” the moment was interrupted by a known voice “Lena, are you there? I know your purse is right here and I’d recognize it anywhere.” Helena continued and Lena sighed, thanking God she was wearing a large shirt.

“Hey, Helena…” she partly opened the curtains, but Helena took them and pushed them to the end, finding Kara standing on the other side “we were just… trying some clothes on.”

“Together?” she stared at the blond and frowned “In the same dressing room?”

That’s what friends are for, Kara thought to herself.

“What are you doing here? I thought you only went to designer stores” she tried to change subjects and ignore that woman’s stare on her bare legs. But before she could continue, she felt the kryptonian’s arms around her waist and put on the sweater she was wearing to cover her panties “thank you, darling,”

“Just looking for different things and it’s not like we’re in a department store” her words dripping with sarcasm “by the way, it’s great that I ran into you, I’ve been meaning to ask you to dinner this weekend at the Palm West Side.” Kara felt her blood boil with that invitation “It’s going to be like a business meeting and it would be nice to have such an interesting company like yours.

Damn it, the blond thought, why this woman… this gorgeous tall woman had to show up now? Shit. Why did she have to smell so good? Kara crossed her arms and menaced.

“I’m sorry, it would be wonderful but I already have plans this weekend.” Lena made sure to say wonderful in the most ironic way possible and remembered Lilian’s invitation, one that she didn’t intend to accept but now it was done “I have a dinner with my mother, I would invite you but…” her eyes turned to the blond woman frowning “Kara already is my plus one.” she heard her friend gasp and smirked.

Kara froze. Lena intended to go to that dinner? And… she was going too?

“Oh, what a shame” Helena sighed “hope I see you again” she walked back and wondered her eyes through the CEO’s body, enjoying the view again “nice shirt, by the way, mommy.” Shit.

They watched Bertinelli leave the hallway. The Luthor didn’t know what was worst and made a mental list of the many bad situations she had put herself in less than one day.

1.One unexpected visit and an invitation to dine with her mother.
2.Put her friend in a mess she hadn't even told her about.
3.Helena found out about her pregnancy.
4.All of the above, together.

Truly, it wasn’t the best day of her life.

Chapter Text

The DEO was mostly known by its agents as a department compromised with National City's security, that took their objectives seriously and worked hard, day and night. Well, it wasn’t quite like that. In this exact moment, there weren’t so many crimes to fight or aliens planning a massive invasion to enslave the human race, something that J’onn was very grateful for. While the director finished his paperwork, Winn had left to meet James and Alex was out looking for her sister. If she wasn't at CatCo or L-Corp, she was definitely not around there.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked as she caught an almost childish scene of Supergirl sitting on the floor, crossed legs on a warehouse floor.

“Hey, Alex” she was very focused.

“Are you… are you drawing again?” she sat down beside the blond, catching a glimpse of random papers and a picture of Lena in the center “is this Lena?”

“Yes” her cheeks reddened “I’m… er, making a surprise”

“Can you tell me about it?” her sister’s blue eyes lighted with the request. She was expecting a lesson or a monologue from her sister, but not that interest, which excited and rejoiced her.

“Well, I took her to go shopping and...well, a little… how can I say it?” Kara felt her face blush again “a little incident happened, but it wasn’t anything serious! I swear! I just… noticed she’s insecure about her body and… I can’t really understand it but I just don’t want Lena to feel like that, you know?

“Okay,” Alex smiled “so what are you planning on doing?”

 

“I’m going to make her a board with all her pregnancy phases, like those on Pinterest” she smiled in excitement “but I wanted to give it some personal touch, so instead of just putting the pictures I’m going to take, I’m also drawing them and creating an aesthetic to each one.”

“This is wonderful, Kara” Alex was sincere and for that, a bit of dismay was noticeable in her words “Lena truly needs something that will make her feel confident about this whole mess, especially about her body.”

“How.... how do you know that” she frowned “is just… you’re so sure saying this… Did Lena say something to you?”

And at that moment, Alex was unsure of her words. There wasn’t any problem of course, that she was friends with the Luthor and she liked that. The issue was that this ‘new’ friendship was her sister’s best friend and she didn’t know how Kara would react to that news. Which was ironic, given that the blond always wanted for her to get along with Lena, for them to be somewhat close, close enough that she’d stop calling her by her last name. However, to want something to happen and then to see that it happened could bring some contradictory feelings.

Kara had never shown any signs of jealousy but it wasn’t like she ever had a reason to show them. Lena was her best friend and Alex was her sister.

“Alex?”

“I've been talking to her, for...well, it’s been some weeks” she confessed flatly and frowned looking at the confusion in her sister’s face “we hung out after game night and also went out last week but it wasn’t anything serious, we just talked and chilled” at this point Alex was searching for any miserable sight of a positive reaction from Kara.

“Oh… I wasn’t… expecting that” she sighed and forced a smile trying to show her sister she was happy with her acquaintance. She was happy, right? “but I’m glad.”

“Kara, I’m not here to take your place in her life” Alex kept going “Lena is your best friend, and I....”

“It’s okay, Alex, I promise” the blond held the redhead’s hands and shot a truer smile, even though something deep down was still bothering her. She couldn’t quite put a name to it, it didn’t feel like jealousy and that frightened her.

“Don’t lie to me, please. I know you’re bottling up so many things that you don’t want to talk about” she stared at Kara’s eyes “but you know you can’t talk to me, right?”

“I know, don’t worry about it and… wait” she interrupted her line of thought “why are we talking about me? You don’t look well and if someone here is bottling things up, it’s you” Alex turned her face, not liking the way that was going “I have barely seen Maggie these days… it’s about her, isn’t it?”

“It’s… complicated” she sighed. There were many unresolved issues that she kept to herself and didn’t know how to explain them or to make Kara understand them without feeling guilty. The younger Danvers always had that habit.

“Talk to me” Kara almost pleaded. The redhead smiled faintly and nodded.

“Since… we found out about Lena’s pregnancy. Maggie and I talked about having children” Alex started feeling her heartache “we were both very nervous because we had never spoken about it, after all, it’s still… early” she chuckled nervously “but since you were going to be a mom or something like that, we had that conversation and I told her that I dreamt about being a mother, of having someone that loved me unconditionally and anyway… you know all that…” Kara nodded “but… Maggie doesn’t want…”
Supergirl frowned and suddenly her brain was a mess. What did she mean?

“Maggie, she...wait...how?” she stared at her sister “she doesn’t want… it?”

“No” her voice shuddered “we didn’t go back to that subject, but… I don’t know what to do, Kara. I’m not giving up on her but…”

“You don’t want to give up being a mom” Kara completed and finally saw the big picture of what was happening. She looked at the drawing she had made of her pregnant friend and observed the way Alex sighed heavily looking at them. All those weeks she had been filling her sister with new information and updates on the baby and didn’t even notice that those things were, in a way, hurting her “oh, Alex… forgive me, I don’t… I should’ve controlled myself and my excitement, I didn’t even notice it was upsetting you, and I…”

“No, Kara no” Alex held her little sister’s wavering hands again “this has nothing to do with you or Lena, it’s only about me and Maggie. I’m really happy that you’re getting so involved because I know how much your friend needs it” once again, the kryptonian felt that weird feeling but ignored it. It wasn’t fair, even though she wasn’t what she was feeling, Alex deserved someone like the Luthor and she also wanted Lena to have someone like her sister.

They were family after all.

“I love Maggie, Kara” Alex's eyes were teary and the blond noticed the dark circles around them. There were no doubts about her sister’s love for that officer “and we’re… we’re going to figure this out. I promise you.

“I just wish I knew what to do or how to help you…” she sighed “I hate seeing you sad.”

“I know, but it will pass.”

“Hey, I’m the one supposed to be consoling here” Kara grumbled “I’m sorry, about all of this…but you can always talk to me, vent to me… I’ll keep trying my best to make things better, always” she pushed her for a tight hug, letting Alex hide her face in her hair “I love you so much.”

“I love you too” Alex sighed “today is ultrasound day, right” she changed the subject quickly.

“Yes!” Kara was excited “we’re entering the tenth week!”

“Are you still not telling me why this kid is so important to you? Other than, of course, that it is your child and Lena is the other mother” she commented watching the blond turn red “oh, c’mon Kara, we’ve been through this and I know you’re in love with her.”

“Hey!” she complained and was about to continue but was interrupted by J’onn, knocking on the open door. “yes, boss?”

“We have an emergency near the docks, we need Supergirl” he warned.

“Phew, saved by the bell” she exhaled and got up. So Alex grabbed her arm before she could run away.

“You’re not escaping this conversation” she teased “I’m keeping an eye on you” and pointed two fingers to the other woman. Kara didn’t answer, just used her superspeed to leave the place as fast as she could. She wasn’t ready to say a thing about that subject.

Kara did all the DEO asked her to until lunchtime, making it very clear to her boss that she was taking Lena to her second ultrasound that afternoon. J’onn still insisted on bringing the Luthor in so they could make specific exams on the child, like checking if the baby could mean any danger, for they didn’t know what could happen with human and alien DNA mixed, especially kryptonian DNA. But, as always, Supergirl didn’t discuss or let him convince her. The department was not laying one finger on that baby.

 

***

 

As Kara entered her friend’s office hallway, Jess shot her the same friendly smile and nodded her head indicating she could go in. She never really gave much thought to the CEO’s secretary, Jess seemed to appreciate their friendship, for she knew Lena felt good and needed someone like Kara Danvers by her side. But as much as she agreed, there was still a bit of hesitancy on her part. The blond was unaware of how much Jess cared about Lena and didn’t know what they had between them because Lena had made very clear, many times, that they weren’t friends, not in the profound and specific sense of the word anyway, but that the secretary truly cared about her wellbeing.

Leaving these thoughts behind, the younger Danvers could already hear the two hearts beating in harmony on the other side of the door. The same feelings always overwhelmed her soul. Security, love, and hope. For any other person, having a child could mean a blessing or a tragedy, but for Kara, it was far from both situations. It pained her deeply that she had to keep her feelings to herself, either they were good or bad, and it ached in her chest not being able to spit them out. She noticed the way Alex paid attention to her actions, words, and mood, no matter how well she hid all of it. She didn’t want to tell, didn’t want to vent. Those were her fears, her anguishes and no one could truly understand what was going on in her heart.

She opened the door quietly and found a concentrated Luthor reading some important document, one hand on the papers and the other on her belly. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by her anymore, it was an obvious habit for people who knew her well. Kara smiled lovingly. The last three months had gone by in a blink of an eye, so fast and intense. She didn’t have time to organize her emotions or to process what required processing. Was she confused? Yes, she was. Was she afraid? Very. She had never been so terrified in her entire life. But as she saw her friend so calmly reading something complicated, at least she always found those things complex, her heart sank in an overwhelming feeling of peace.

It was no surprise to anyone, or herself, that she had feelings for her best friend. It was clear. So stupidly obvious. But after all, who wouldn’t fall for her?

Kara took a deep breath and tried not to lose herself in those irises that looked more like a pair of emeralds. Lena looked at her and smiled, and her whole world lighted up in milliseconds. It was funny to think about how much they had grown together in so little time and how much Kara didn’t realize she was losing. her despair and confusion made her blind to the intimacy they were sharing in so few weeks. However, the blond could still see how extraordinary Lena was. The way she could change her face from intimidating and serious to something calm and affectionate. The way she could be distant and cold to those she didn’t know or trusted and also be so lovingly and extremely warm to those she loved and cared about.

All the CEO’s singularities and details overly enchanted the younger Danvers. She knew her so well, or at least that’s what she thought. She knew Lena disliked when her personal space was disrespected, or when she wasn’t taken seriously in work meetings, or when they diminished her for being a Luthor. She knew by memory all her favorite songs, she knew her friend had had a few piercings and an emo phase when she was a teenager, she adored it when she was speechless and smirked, not knowing how to react to a positive reaction. Truth was that the Luthor never knew how to respond to a compliment.

Rao, Kara could spend hours like that, listing everything that made her fall even harder for her best friend. But she didn’t have time now.

Besides, when she remembered the conversation with her sister she could feel her heartache a little. Alex was right about her not knowing certain details about the CEO. And that made her sad, worried. What more did she have to know about a woman that so confidently ran a multimillionaire company and still had time for a reporter like her? And what did Lena tell Alex that she wouldn’t tell her best friend? Had she done something wrong? Crossed a line? Rao! So many questions and fears that she didn’t know where to start. She never thought her life would have turned upside down, like these last weeks, and she feared that at some point it would all fall apart.

“Kara!” Lena got up to hug her “you’re early.”

“Uh… I’m...done with some articles” she lied “I hope I’m not disturbing…”

“Of course not, you never do” she pointed to the couch and they sat down “is something wrong?” Lena noticed the other’s somewhat disappointed face “did anything happen?”

“No!” Kara smiled and fixed her glasses nervously “nothing...happened.”

“Liar” she teased “you know you can tell me anything and that you are a terrible liar, right?” the blond felt her body tense “this whole pregnancy thing and me being so stressed does drain a lot from you. Kara, I don’t want you to worry so much…” she sighed “you don’t need to accompany me in every consult or…”

“Lena, no” Kara held her hands “it’s not that, I want to be with you in every consult and I want to help you… feel good… even if it’s hard for me to understand what… what you feel…”

There was a moment of silence and all the words unsaid, and the unshared feelings and worries floated around them. Lena wanted to say how she really felt, how anguishing it was to be pregnant when she didn’t even want to be a mother or how she wanted to go back three months and change what happened. It wasn’t fair to her, it wasn't. How did people expect someone like her, a Luthor, a person that knew nothing about maternity to be psychologically able and to raise such a fragile and vulnerable being like that baby and not turn it into a copy of her brother Lex?

And there was still much more. That was the tip of the iceberg.

How could she, supposedly, accept that she was expecting a baby from someone that didn’t love her and still drag her best friend into this mess? Lena loved Kara, not Supergirl. How could she expect that someday the younger Danvers would fall for someone like her? Someone linked to a woman like the girl of steel, someone who would always carry the burden of having a deep connection to the town’s hero? Looking at the blond had become so much more painful than before. She would do anything to take that sadness from her blue eyes.

Kara seemed disappointed and the Luthor feared it was because of her mistake.

 

Lena had lost control over her life, that was the truth. And until those six months and two weeks were over, she had to deal with that fact. Her body had been violated and now Lena had to regain the confidence that took her so long to get, It was funny because most women are insecure about their shape and form, always wanting to change a minor detail. For the CEO it wasn’t like that and she took pride in it. She could change whatever she wanted in her body but she never felt the need to. Something that she always, always loved about herself was her control and security about her image and physic.

Because her body belonged only to her. No one could take that away was what she thought. Until now. It was stolen from her.

“Why do I have the feeling you’re hiding something?” Lena questioned inquisitively and the blond paled.

“I… er, how… what do you mean?” she stuttered and fixed the glasses again “Hiding? Ho-how…”

“You have this habit” she explained “of hiding what you really feel and giving too much of yourself to people you think need it more than you do. What happened in those two months when you disappeared? That you didn’t answer my calls, my texts. Why do you…” she sighed. Not wanting to ask her friend that but her concerns were greater than what she wanted or not “why don’t you ever talk about him?”

Kara sighed not knowing how to respond. Of course, they would have to talk about her absence in those two months after the daxamite invasion at some point. It was easier to hide, pretend that she didn’t feel anything or that it didn’t hurt. But it wasn’t like that and her friends thought the reason for her disorientation and sadness was because of losing Mon-El in such a brutal and drastic way. And it wasn’t. The real reason wasn’t that. Sure, having to say goodbye to him unsure if he was going to be okay, or survive, or escape in time still haunted her. Her greatest fear was she might have sent her ex boyfriend to an extremely scary, unknown future.

She would never forgive herself for that.

“I’m sorry…” Lena quickly changed her posture, thinking she crossed a line. It didn’t even surprise her, it was an incorrigible habit. At some point, Lena always ruined a relationship, whether romantic or friendly “I didn’t mean to…”

“Because it still hurts” she interrupted “because it drives me crazy not knowing what happened to him. I don’t… I don’t know what to feel, Lena. I thought… I thought I loved him, I thought Mike was…

“The one” she completed and Kara nodded.

“But he never was, I think” the blond continued “after I saw myself without him by my side… it was like… like a weight lifted off my back and it only made me feel worse” she grimaced “Mike always made me feel guilty for not having enough time for us or for paying too much attention to work, or even for taking time to lunch with you and not him. That’s why I… I tried to change, you know? Because he loved me I had to… love him back…”

So that was the truth. Not that the CEO didn’t already know, because if she had to be honest, she hated that boy. Many times Lena picked up calls from a crying or extremely upset Kara because he treated her like an owner like she and her choices were his. many times she heard her friend complain about how she couldn’t reciprocate her boyfriend’s feelings, how she struggled with her attention between work, her friends, and that Mon-El that demanded all of it. Inside her chest, Lena felt rage, sadness and uncomparable loathe towards the daxamite, how could someone like Mike make someone like Kara feel guilty?

“I knew that Mike had wrong concepts and contrary opinions to mine but I was bought that opposite attracts theory and that people change for love” Kara confessed “and Alex said I should allow myself to give it a shot and I also helped me, I don’t know… is it wrong that I feel relieved? Not… by the fact he is lost somewhere in outer space, but by the idea that his presence isn’t here to make me feel…”

“Wrong?” The warm and shiny blue in the blond’s eyes got new shades as the confessions escaped her lips. Lena had all of them memorized.

“Yeah…” she sighed “I know this sounds like selfishness… and it must be, a little… I think.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being selfish, Kara” Lena intertwined their fingers “It’s not because someone loves you or likes you that you’re obliged to feel the same. That’s a very wrong idea” she explained “you, more than anyone else know my opinion on… Mike” she forced herself to say his name “I never talked about it because it wasn’t and still isn’t my business. But it worries me that, in a way, he treated you as an object and not as someone who can break” Lena sighed “I notice the way you run, how you never put yourself first and think self-care is selfishness. Kara, if you don’t put yourself first, you can’t expect anyone to do it for you” she smiled tenderly and stared at her intensely, trying to speak all her affection in one look “be selfish, at least once. I’m not your priority and can take care of myself.”

“I know you can” Kara looked away. She wasn’t able to deal with that impetuousness now “but I… I don’t feel forced to anything when I’m with you. It’s easy, it’s fun and you’re my best friend.”

“I just don’t want you to get overly involved in this pregnancy and end up getting hurt in the future” she sounded sure “Seedy…”

“It’s still yours” her voice came out sweet “for now she is still yours.”

“I can’t… get attached” Lena confessed “I’m not the best at it and I don’t even know what to do with children.”

“Will you let me help?” she asked tenderly “I’m not here to change your opinion or your choices, but let me help you see the other side of it.”

“I don’t want you to be disappointed, I’m not maternal, Kara” their eyes met again “and I still can’t” she sighed. Her tears wanted to roll and Lena wouldn’t allow it. Not again.

“Hey, deep breaths” Kara rested an arm on her shoulder “today we’re going to the ultrasound and then I want to take you somewhere special. No sad tears, okay?”

“Okay” she took those deep breaths “I hope I don’t cry the next for years after Seedy is born. I’m dead serious.”

“Crying is good, Lena” Kara commented “I… may I?” she pointed a finger to the Luthor’s belly, gesturing to touch it. Lena hesitated for a few seconds, unsure of which wall inside herself was about to crumble at any given moment, at any touch given by Kara in that sensitive part of her body. There was a child in there, she knew that but anytime other people made her feel that truth, it hurt. And her walls fell because she was falling in love with that feeling “If not… can’t… er, forget it…”

“Yes,” she interrupted her, taking her friend’s hand and calmly placing it on her belly. Lena closed her eyes instantly leaving all her fears aside and accepting the despair of being good for someone that depended so much on her. She didn’t want to let that child down “Can you feel it?”

“It’s warmer” Kara smiled amazed and knelt beside her hand, placing her ear right next to it and letting her hair fall on her friend's lap.

The world stopped. There were no other sounds, no people, or any problem.

There was just the fast-paced and strong heart from the one she was going to call son. She felt the tears urging to fall but limited herself to deep breaths. Her fingers caressed the CEO’s skirt tissue and the love she was feeling was capable of tearing her apart. Lena observed the scene: Kara laying on her belly, caressing it and sending shivers through her body. Kara, her best friend, the one who believed her questionless, never doubted her. Kara, the most loving and warm person she had ever met, the woman that made her want to understand and accept the good emotions that could come from unwanted pregnancy.

Her hands felt the blond her on her lap and soon a sweet voice echoed through the room.

“Don’t make your mom cry, alright?” Kara whispered, “she is keeping you warm in there and she needs your strength, though you know nothing about being strong yet…” she smiled her cheeks reddened as she realized what she was doing “if you promise me that, I’ll bring you ice cream after lunch every day” she lowered her voice pretending it was secrecy.

“Kara!” Lena exclaimed and the kryptonian cackled.

“Let’s go to the appointment, mama bear” she teased “but I want ice cream…” Kara pouted making Lena laugh.

“Apparently we have two children here.”

 

***

 

The ultrasound was less embarrassing than Lena thought was going to be. Unlike the other time, she didn’t have to take all her clothes off, only unbutton the lower part of her shirt and her skirt. Luckily Seedy, who was now a grape, was well and growing normally. Doctor Cameron ordered more exams, then asked about nausea and gave the thrilling news that those would probably pass right after the third semester. She also said that the hunger would continue, alongside her skin and breasts' sensitivity, because they were preparing to feed. Just the simple thought of having someone depending on her to get fed made the CEO tear up.

However, a new thought occurred to her: if she gave the child up to adoption, they would never be fed naturally again. And that saddened her. Theoretically, babies needed that connection to their mother. But Lena didn’t want to be a mother, so why did that matter? According to the books Kara gave her, breastfeeding not only optimized that mother/son relationship but also secured their health. Until they were six months old, the baby’s immune system wasn’t completely developed and so they were dependent on the mother’s milk to be protected.

While the Luthor wondered her doubts and fears, Kara tried to understand the friend’s feelings during those consults. Did she feel pain? Panic? Or did Lena think something was being taken from her? Her freedom and well-planned life for example. She didn’t know how to approach that subject and also didn’t want her to start crying. So, she decided she would wait. Wait for Lena to feel comfortable enough to tell her how she really felt, deep in her soul. She wouldn’t make her say it, she didn’t have the right.

“Where are we going?” Lena asked, feeling the car slow down and the driver looking for a place to park “I’m starving.”

“Again?” Kara asked impulsively. They had eaten half an hour ago.

“Are you going to judge me? You?” she arched an eyebrow.

“Me?” the blond laughed “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure” Lena provoked “my best friend is another starving blond. Maybe you are Supergirl” Kara choked and her phone slipped through her hands.

“Hey… I’m not… you” she fumbled and Lena chortled.

“I’m just teasing you, it’s okay. Though you did choose this child over me.”

“Jealous much?” Kara smirked, “I never thought Lena Luthor would feel disadvantaged to a baby.”

“I’m going to start crying and you’re not going to like it, don’t toy with my feelings” she answered sarcastically but the blond had a hard time understanding that. Hence, she pulled her into a tight hug, feeling anxious.

“No, please” Kara sighed “you’re my favorite, you know that.”

“I do, I was just joking” she laughed “I need to breathe, Kara…”

“Right” she cleared her throat “I knew… I already knew that…”

“Again, where are we?” Lena looked through the window “We’re not going to take long, right? I still have to get ready for dinner.”

“Oh, Ra-God” Kara corrected herself quickly, smacking her forehead “the dinner!”

“And you said that with a surprising voice because…?” she raised a brow “you forgot.”

“I did” she frowned.

“I don’t have to…”

“I’ll be there” she interrupted before Lena could start the same speech “I just don’t know… what to wear.”

“Don’t worry about that” Lena smiled calmly “your clothes are perfectly adequate for dinner.”

“Okay.” she sighed unsurely. Of course her flannel shirts and khaki pants weren't a good choice. Damn it.

They got out of the car and Lena asked the driver to wait wherever suited him better, after all, she didn’t know how much time they were going to take. What kind of place was that? She paid attention to the details and started making notes. There was a showcase exposing various products for pregnant women, babies, and a few baby carriages. It didn’t look like a big or luxurious place, more like a simple store hidden between normal houses and other little stores. In fact, that was more of a residential neighborhood, the houses were surrounded by green gardens and kids toys.

Kara guided Lena inside and greeted the lady standing behind the desk. They walked through the side hallway to the back, where there were two small rooms and an open area with tables and chairs perfectly placed under blue sunblinds. Also, many vases filled with different, colorful flowers composed the simple and cozy decoration. But, what caught the Luthor’s attention was the men sitting on a sofa and a group of women laughing walking around the tables.

What the fuck was that place?

“Kara, where are we?” Lena asked, feeling uncomfortable and out of place. She trusted her friend but hated not knowing what was happening.

“I… er…” she scratched the back of her neck and felt her cheeks burn “right…. I don’t know how to explain.”
“You can start from the beginning” Lena crossed her arms “what are we doing here?”

“Hey!” a blond lady approached them smiling with excitement “are you two new here?”

“Yes,” the younger Danvers answered, frowning, feeling the weight of her friend’s eye on her.

“Welcome!” she exclaimed “I’m the owner of the store and also one of the teachers, my name is Zara, nice to meet you” Zara introduced herself shaking Kara’s hand “What are your names?”

“I’m Kara and this is Lena” she pointed to her friend, who was still quiet, which frightened her a bit.

“Right, Lena, how many months?” Zara turned to the Luthor and smiled. Lena shot a confused look at Kara.

“How do you know I’m pregnant?”

“I’ve worked with this longer than you can imagine, dear” she answered kindly “our class is about to begin so go to the first room to the right and choose your seats, okay?”

“We’ll go soon, we just need to… talk” Kara shook her head nervously. Her fright grew gradually. She knew she should have asked Alex whether that was a good idea or not. Shit.

The blond lady left them and went to call the others. Only then Lena realized all people there were couples and all ladies were pregnant. She started getting it slowly and turned to look at her friend. Of course, she had nothing to worry about, it’s not like anyone there was going to harm her. She took a deep breath and tried not to panic. It was clear in Kara’s blue eyes that her intentions were the best and that she was as red as a tomato from nervousness.

“Can you begin to explain it to me, please?” Lena asked. Her breathing wasn’t of help and being there made her extremely uncomfortable.

“Uh… I kind of enrolled in some classes… for… pregnant women” she explained frowning “I’m sorry…. I, God! I should have asked you or asked for my sister’s opinion… I’m sorry.”

“Classes for pregnant? That’s a thing?” she laughed “and what are we, supposedly, learning here.”

“Er… many things” Kara made funny gestured with her hands and Lena chuckled “how to deal with symptoms, how to take care of a baby and there are other parents here too! I thought… I thought it might help you not feel so lost” and help me too, Kara thought but kept to herself.

“Right” Lena sighed. She didn’t feel like staying and wanted much less to be around other pregnant women. But, how could she say no to that cute, frowning 5 foot 9 of blue eyes and cuteness?

Fuck. Damned hormones.

“We’re going to participate in one class and if I don’t enjoy it…”

“We’re never coming back, I promise” the blond jumped in excitement “pinky promise!

“And what pinky promising is, exactly?” Lena questioned.

“Oh, God!” she extended an arm of chivalry for her friend “you have so much to learn” she teased.

“And would my life be without you, right?” Lena used her best ironic tone and accepted the arm “my hero” she whispered teasingly, seeing the red creep in Kara’s cheeks.

 

***

 

After reaching an agreement about the classes, Kara asked Lena to put on something more comfortable, since the practical parts of the class were on the floor. And, of course, the blond had come prepared with a change of clothes for her friend. Each couple was sitting on small mattresses, mommies in the front and daddies behind. The room wasn’t big but the decoration was very charming. Pastel blue, pink, and yellow mixed together and harmonized the walls and furniture. Some dolls and books were also displayed on the shelves, alongside baby utensils, and books and articles about pregnancy and babies. Lena had never seen so many things regarding pregnancy in one room.

They picked one of the mattresses left and set on the half-circle the other participants had formed, facing a small whiteboard hanging on the central wall. It was completely bizarre for Lena to think she and her best friend were next to so many couples, about to have children, and they didn’t even date or were about to be mothers. It seemed like they were frauds. There were two couples, one to their left and the other to their right and, as the Luthor accommodated herself beside Kara she felt someone touch her shoulder and quickly turned to face who it was.

 

“Are you Lena Luthor?” A dark-haired woman asked, smiling.
Lena automatically prepared herself for the worse. Her brain went to defense mode in a matter of seconds, ready to strike back against any mean or cynical comment about her reputation. Of course, she thought to herself, at some point someone would recognize her and ask her how could she bear a child. A defenseless, innocent being, dragged into the hell that was her family. Her mind was accustomed to hearing unjust criticism about herself, but her heart ached a bit, knowing it was going to be related to her brother and mother.

“Of course you are, I’d recognize those eyebrows anywhere!” the woman kept going excited, she had somewhat latino traces, Lena raised an eyebrow, more aware of them. Another cold hand touched her arm and she turned again, finding a beautiful pair of light brown eyes staring at her.

“I can’t believe we're going to have you here, I didn’t even know you were pregnant!” the woman was agitated “by the way, I loved the outfit you wore for Forbes the day after the alien invasion” she winked “I wish I was that beautiful and powerful to be on the cover of something that isn’t old portraits in my house.”

Okay, the CEO was definitely not expecting that. They weren’t criticizing her or quoting her mistakes in alphabetical order. Had she become some sort of female icon? No, that wasn’t possible. Lena could never be such a thing. But looking at the two women beside her, all she saw was admiration and pride, like she was a step forward for women. And no, she had no idea how to deal with that. She had dry and quick answers on the tip of her tongue, dripping with sarcasm, but what would her response be for that affection?

Lena felt like crying and cursed herself for that.

“You can cry, get all those hormones out before you explode” the latina smiled “the first trimester, right?” Lena nodded and felt Kara’s hands caress her back silently.

“How do you know that?” she asked back curiously. Why did everyone suddenly know when she was due to? “Is that some kind of superpower pregnants have?”

“I’m Ramona,” the other woman said smiling “and no, Julie is on her second pregnancy so she knows things by memory. We end up memorizing it.

“Nice to meet you” Julie smiled “don’t worry, the crying phase ends soon and then you get to the angry stage. You’re going to feel like murdering the first person who leaves a wet towel on the bed or forgets to put the toilet lid down.” she punched her husband lightly, who was very concentrated on his phone.

“I prefer being angry than crying” Lena confessed “and about this pregnancy… I…

“Don’t worry about it” Ramona held her arm carefully “here you’re just another pregnant lady filled with annoying hormones and weird desires” she winked and Lena chuckled.

“And who is this blond with you” Julie pointed to Kara “I’m glad we have a lesbian couple, at least now I can know what would it be like if I had married a woman. Men are a pain in the ass.” she looked over to her husband, unaware of the conversation.

“I bet sex with women is a hundred times best than with men” Ramona whispered and Kara felt like burying her head in the first hole she could find “by the way, you make a beautiful couple.”

Oh, Rao. That was all she needed.

“If your baby is born with her smile I will be obliged to offer my oldest son in marriage” the other woman joked “boy or girl, doesn’t matter.”

“Kara is just…” Lena tried to explain but was interrupted by the teacher they had talked to earlier “I’m sorry…” she whispered to her friend. Kara smiled tenderly and searched for her hand, intertwining their fingers.

“Good afternoon, mommies and daddies” the teacher spoke, excited “thank you for joining us for another class and today we have a new couple with us” she pointed to Lena and Kara, who almost choked together with the ‘couple’ part “welcome! Today we are going to talk about food and eating during pregnancy and our practical lesson will be about the basic needs we are going to have to deal with during the first year of the baby’s life. Now, please, each daddy take one doll and the utensils I left separated” she pointed to the enormous table “then take your seats again.”

The men got up and, when Lena moved to follow them, Kara held her lightly by the wrist, making it clear she was taking that role during the classes. Not that Lena minded being both roles for the baby because, in truth, she already thought she was going to be the two. Even if she decided against giving the baby up for adoption, the CEO didn’t expect Supergirl to come and help her raise that child. She was going to be a single mom, dedicating her whole self to maternity, and would not be disappointed to represent everything that child needed.

However, that wasn’t the way things went and she felt a bit relieved, knowing her best friend was so willing to dive her whole self into that adventure.

“Two babies?” Lena questioned turning to Ramona and her husband.

“Twins” she answered, gently caressing her belly “I’m four months in.”

“Oh…” she had never met anyone expecting two babies at the same time “and… does it hurt?”

“Not really, it’s just more tiresome” she shook her shoulders. The Luthor thought it was amazing how the lady looked so unconcerned and carefree, even knowing she was about to mother two at the same time “though I eat for three people and soon will be looking like a whale.” Ramona sighed making Lena and Julie laugh.

“What exactly do we have to do?” Kara asked, walking back to the group and carefully giving the doll to her friend. “this bag weighs about eleven pounds, I’m not kidding.”

“Be prepared, mommy” Julie teased “the tendency is only to get heavier.”

“Okay!” the teacher called for attention “it’s important for everyone to know that it’s not only the mom’s job to change diapers, wake up six times per night and do all the chores relating to the baby” she shot a fun look to the men “it’s time for everyone to participate and I assure you are not going to regret it.”

“What is this for?” the blond whispered to the CEO.

“I have no idea.”

“The first step is: know the phases of a child” Zara continued “newborns usually are easier to change diapers because their movements are still slow and their reflexes are still in development. However, they cry a lot!”

“Excuse me!” a tall, incredibly thin, and pretty woman abruptly opened the door and smiled “I’m sorry, got stuck in traffic.”

“No problem, Emily” Zara greeted her and pointed to an empty mattress “please come in and take a seat. Oh, also grab one of the dolls, please.”

Lena observed the dark-haired woman walk through the room, she had piercing blue eyes and the noise from her thin high heels echoed with each confident step she took, the CEO wondered where her partner was, after all, that was a couple’s class. Not that she was judging, Kara and she were far from being a couple and Lena didn’t even think about committed relationships right now. Dating only brought frustrations and complications and the last thing she needed was another problem to deal with. A pregnancy was enough trouble to go through and Lena was glad to have the blond by her side to give her support and a helping hand. However, it was strange to see that Emily lady look so sure of herself, wearing that dress glued to her Victoria’s Secrets alike body, her belly only showing a small shadow underneath the tissue.

“As I was saying” Zara cleared and throat “your baby’s first month will be frightening and even a cause of desperation. You will see him so little and fragile that you will be afraid of hurting him, but you don’t have to be.” she smiled warmly “if you know how to keep calm and deal with the baby tenderly, your child will soon get used to your touch and begin to recognize it. That said, today I will show you some diaper brands, types of wet wipes, antiallergic medication, rash and roasting cream, and other important things.” the teacher sat on the floor in front of the class and laid her doll over the mattress. “lay your babies over the changer and remove their clothes carefully, remember: they are very fragile. After you’ve undressed them, it’s time to change the diaper.”

“What is a changer?” Kara asked nervously, taking all the clothes out of the enormous bag “why are there so many things here?”

“I don’t know, don’t look at me like I’m the expert here” Lena grumbled. All couples had already found the objects with ease and were waiting for further instructions “Christ, who needs all that? It's just a baby!” Lena said exasperated, trying to find the damned changer.

“Here” Ramona took the small, rectangular blanket, one side soft fur, and the other plastic. “this side up.”

“Thank you,” Kara murmured and sighed. Rao, that was hard!

“How do you unbutton this?” Lena was looking for the zipper but all she found was a ton of buttons “honestly, I have machined on the lab that is easier to use.”

“Lena!” the blond laughed “Seedy isn’t a machine” she sighed “how does that woman manage to do all this alone?” Kara pointed, not so discreetly, to Emily.

“I don’t know but I won’t let her do better than me.” the CEO affirmed and suddenly felt determined. She was a Luthor and would not allow for someone like that, and younger than her to defy her and win. She was not going to let that strange woman put her to shame.

“Oh, are we competitive today?” Kara teased.

“Don’t provoke me and make yourself useful” the CEO mode was activated and the kryptonian couldn't help to find it hot “aha! It’s not that complicated, is it?” Lena cheered “Let’s get to the next phase.”

“We’re not in a game, Lena” the blond was amused.

“Always showing off” Julie commented and frowned, staring at the solitary woman on the other side of the room “ugh, she pisses me off so much.”

“Who? That Emily?” Lena whispered, hit with curiosity.

“Yes, her” Ramona answered “miss beautiful who happens to be a single mother, which is fine, obviously. What annoys me is that she’s so…” she pointed to the woman, making funny gestures “Emily is five months pregnant and looks like a Kardashian, not to mention that she’s great in everything she does.”

“Five months!” Kara widen her eyes “her stomach looks like mine when I finish lunch!”

“That’s because you eat for three, darling” Lena smiled “and you’re not pregnant with twins.”

“Take the diapers, cream, and wet wipes!” the teacher instructed. She talked non-stop about the various types of food and nutrients in each type of meal. To be fairly honest, the Luthor didn’t mind what she needed to eat, as long as she was capable of not murdering anyone out of hunger.

“On which side do you put this?” the blond asked, lost. Lena was sitting beside her, legs crossed, looking confusedly at the doll “is this turned to the front?”

“I think it’s back” Lena retorted “does it matter?”

“The drew side is always front” Julie explained, fixing the diaper that was put completely wrong “if there isn’t any drawing, the flaps are always next to the bum, see?”

“You don’t need to panic” Ramona calmed them “we’re not in a fire simulation.”

“It would be better if we were” Lena grumbled. She observed Emily from the corner of her eye and envy crawled into her chest. How did that model prototype manage to be so perfect? Fuck!

“Darling, can you help me with my bra?” Ramona called her husband and loosed the strap, asking if that was alright “God, I think my boobs are going to explode! Does your nipple get sensitive as hell too?” she questioned the CEO “who looks at my shirt thinks my horny 24/7, it’s embarrassing.”

Kara felt her cheeks burn and put her full attention to changing the doll’s diapers. Although she knew or had an idea, that her friend was going through the same thing, it was different to hear it said out loud. Not to mention her mind wandered far, imagining if Lena had sensitive nipples. Rao! How could she think about that? Kara shook her head in a useless effort to get that image out of her mind. They were just friends. Friends who are going to have a baby, she thought to herself.

“Like you aren’t!” Julie shot back “I could have sex five times a day!”

Oh, Rao. Not that subject.

“Uh, and how do you deal with that?” Ramona smirked, “long showers are good to relax.”

“Sometimes I feel like I could come with just someone breathing beside me and my boobs… God!” Lena exclaimed, still entertained with the fake child’s clothes. Kara almost choked on her tongue and her face was red as a tomato, she coughed hard and forgot how to breathe “hey, are you okay?” Lena turned to her and hit the blond’s back lightly “deep breaths.”

“I hope your wife deals well with it” Julie continued and looked at Kara. The Luthor felt her whole body react to the term ‘wife’ “it’s still six months of that libido to go.”

“In doubt, keep a vibrator in your drawer” Ramona smirked and Kara, on the peak of nervousness, squeezed the cream too hard, making the white, perfumed cream fall on her jeans.

Rao, she was out of control. In no time her brain constructed the not so innocent image of her best friend with a vibrator. Rao! What did Lena mean about someone breathing next to her? Did her friend feel like that with her?

Nope. Kara did not want to know.

“Okay, let’s move to the next lesson and then we’re approaching a delicious subject” Zara laughed “sex and masturbation” the couples laughed along.

Once again, the blond squeezed the cylinder, and what was left of the cream feel on the floor. She was going to die, she was sure. There was no more salvation for Kara Danvers after that class.

Rao, why did she always have the worst ideas?

 

***

Alex didn’t stop laughing after she heard every detail about the unusual and bizarre class her sister attended. Her stomach was hurting and spilled half the water she was drinking. Never one day Alex thought she would hear her little sister grumble so nervously about such a subject. Sure, Kara was annoyingly innocent and absurdly slow during most conversations. However, when it came to Lena Luthor, the redhead noticed certain reactions from the blond that she was unable to contain. Alex wished she filmed all times her sister hid her face between her hands and whimpered about how embarrassed it was when the teacher mentioned the many ways to achieve orgasm alone. Or how to stimulate their partners to enjoy that phase as well.

Certainly, Kara was not going to help the CEO with that and she didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. Rao, her brain was about to explode and all her brain cells were exhausted.

“Do you know there are more than five typed of wet wipers? And that newborns poop four times a day and that can breastfeed every hour?” Kara continued rambling.

“I guess so” Alex wiped the tears rolling from the laughing “now thrice that amount since it’s your child.”

“Rao!” the blond threw herself on the sofa “Seedy is going to eat twice as much as a normal baby.”

“Poor, Lena” she took a sip of water and changed the subject “what do you have planned for dinner? Have you chosen your outfit yet? Are you ready to meet your mother in law?”

“Oh, shi..oot!” Kara hid her face again “I didn’t even stop to think, Lilian is Seedy’s grandmother. How bad is that?”

“I don’t know, but the irony is amusing” the redhead smirked.

“Alex there is nothing funny about it” she whimpered “we’re talking about Lilian Luthor, who hates all my family, will be the grandmother of a kryptonian.

“Karma really is a bitch” Alex commented and saw her sister roll eyes “imagine if it leaked on a magazine: Lena Luthor, mother of aliens.”

“Alex!” the redhead snorted again and tried to breathe.

“Okay, I’m done. But I would give everything to be at this dinner.”

“And you are, you promised!” Kara complained “or I’ll put my suit underneath my clothes.”

“Absolutely not!” the agent got serious “it’s too risky and we’re having other guests there. You’re going to take a shower, get ready, and put on the clothes I specially chose for you. Meanwhile, I and my team will be paying close attention to any sign of danger near your mother in law’s house.”

“Ugh, Alex!” Kara whimpered nervously “she’s not my mother in law. I hate you so much!”

“C’mon, Romeu” Alex pulled her closer “time for a shower.”

Kara, still upset and extremely lost, ran to the bathroom. Taking more time than necessary in there, creating courage to get out. After the failure that class was, the blond got a call from the DEO a made up some dumb excuse, leaving Lena to go back to her apartment alone. It wasn’t like it made much of a difference, she thought to herself, after all, Lena her made new friends, and although Kara knew no one was going to take her place, it bothered not being able to truly relate to what her friend was going through, after all, she wasn’t pregnant and never could be.

One of the disadvantages of being a kryptonian on Earth was that the yellow harmed her physiological system and gradually diminished her chances of getting pregnant over time. During the last consultation she had with a gynecologist, due to some menstrual pains, Kara found out she had become 89% sterile and that number would go up high in a matter of five years. No doctor understood, of course, and Alex made it very clear that it was useless to go to any specialist to try and find some cure to that process. Her chances of being a mother and dreams of it were buried. She would never know what it felt like to carry a child in her.

This discovery broke her completely in the first months, Kara was only eighteen and all that glamour of girlish dreams about being married and bearing a child that would have her eyes or her partner’s nose, those daydreams still lived in her. During high school, most girls talked about that, it was everybody’s plan to get married and have children. Sweet childish dreams. The kryptonian liked to think someday she was going to have a small copy of her running around the house. But now, she learned to avoid those wises and almost eight years later, she prefers not to think about it.

As she left the bathroom, Alex was waiting for her, smirking maliciously. That day was, by far, the weirdest one of her life. And if her organism allowed it, she would definitely have nervous gastritis.

 

***

 

Lena took longer to shower than she had planned and, unlike her best friend, she had different reasons for it.

After the class, Lena felt lighter, knowing all her symptoms were normal, many people during pregnancy went through the same and there was no reason to go insane. Crying was normal and it would pass, at least those news were relieving, after three months with no control over her tears. Her body relaxed as the driver made the way home, but her mind worked like a machine. Her skin had goosebumps and shining with a thin layer of sweat that had just formed. Lena felt her blood fever inside her veins again.

She was hot. Again.

Shit. The CEO hated when that happened and she didn’t have a decent or private place to relieve herself. It was an uncontrollable desire that came and went out of nowhere. Most times she condemned herself for feeling like that, this unceasing combustion, in the middle of work and even in the middle of meetings. For heaven's sake, she couldn't even close her eyes that her mind wandered far, bringing the illusion of sex to her body. And in that illusion, her body reacted, shooting heat weaved through it. Arriving at her apartment, Lena quickly undressed and went straight to the bathroom, taking a quick look in the mirror and trying to not be disappointed by the image.

The warm water helped her muscles to relax and the cold wind coming through the window made her realize how hot her skin was. God, she was literally soaked. Her hand slithered between her breasts and her finger gently caressed each sensitive, hardened nipple. Only when her body ached in response Lena let herself make noise and moaned grasping, she bit her lips and closed her eyes, feeling each drop of water fall on her.

“Oh, fuck…” the moan came out raspy and low.

It didn’t take long for her to put two fingers inside herself and rub her thumb over the clit that was swollen and begging for attention. Goosebumps went through her back and she panted. Her mind wandered off, imagining two firm hands pressing her waist, a pair of arms holding her, and blue eyes shining with a hunger for her. Her fingers paced faster, in and out. She came. And then regret came. Maybe… maybe Lena had thought of a specific person while doing that. She denied herself and that fact. Admitting it would only make things worse.

“Lena, you are so stupid” she sighed alone, her heart still racing.

Ignoring the shame in her chest, Lena applied shampoo to her hair and took a deep breath. She cursed herself quietly for feeling that way for someone who could never desire her back. Tears rolled down her face, hot and acid. Lena chose the easy way out and blamed the pregnancy, again. Her lack of control was taking her to places of stress and anger she never thought possible. The woman from the class came back to her mind and she repeated to herself that all was going to end soon. Just six months left.

Gradually the rush of pleasure passed and Lena was finally able to finish her shower, just in time to get ready. Kara was going to be with her tonight and if there was one thing the Luthor treasured was her friendship with the charmest reporter from National City.

She was not going to let some lack of control or annoying hidden feeling for the blond ruin the only good thing that she had gotten that year. Lena was glad to bury it all as deep as she could.

Chapter Text

“Let me see it again,” Alex asked for the hundredth time “C’mon!”

“Alex!” Kara sighed tiredly and unbuttoned her shirt, showing only a white bra underneath it “satisfied?”

“Very much so” the redhead smiled presumptuous “I need to make sure you’re not planning anything and that everything goes as we planned.”

“I feel useless like this” the superhero rolled her eyes. Her sister could be very bossy sometimes. “What if something happens?”

“Then I and my team will be there to help you” she explained, “while you take care of your friend and your kid, okay?”

Kara didn’t answer but she was obviously going to take care of both. With or without the suit, the blonde would risk everything for that strange little family. Sure, Lena didn’t know about her secret identity and it was a secret she hated keeping but they had bigger problems now, so that was going to have to wait. The National City’s population knew about Supergirl and the Luthor’s friendship and that was enough danger. In the L-Corp event, there had been an attack on Lena’s life and that led Kara to desperation. What if one day she failed? What if it was her fault?

Supergirl would never forgive herself, especially now the two people she loved the most were in only one body. The kryptonian was sure of her decision, for now, hiding her other self was for the best.

However, her big sister was getting in the way of her plans. Kara was going to have dinner in a place she had never been to that also happened to be her archenemy’s home: Lilian Luthor. Not to mention that Lilian knew her secret and if she found out about the baby’s other mother, everything could fall apart. That made her nervous, worried and at times, desperate. Soon, Lena’s belly was going to show and questions would be made, most were going to be completely invasive. The media always haunted her best friend, whether they meant good or bad, mostly it was bad, it was invasive and harmful towards the woman who couldn't catch a breath.

It was no coincidence that these days, Kara had been avoiding Snapper as much as she could, for her boss had been suspicious about the CEO’s silence since the daxamite invasion. He wanted to know what she was doing, what she was up to, and even where Lena was having lunch, and he wanted to use his best source for that: the young Danvers. Of course, Kara would never use the fact that the Luthor was her best friend to get such information, she would never do such a thing. Their interviews were most times, to talk about grand benevolent events made by the company and that Lena gave all of herself for them. When the reporter wasn’t complimenting L-Corp’s amazing scientific discoveries and progress, she was disproving the cruel lies people made up about her friend.
Kara would do anything to make sure Lena wouldn’t be seen as another Luthor.

“Is it good like this?” Kara frowned, fixing her hair.

“You look great,” Alex answered, gathering her things around the room “I’ll be listening and Winn is going to be with us too, okay?”

“Yeah” she sighed “where are you going?”

“To meet Maggie at her’s” Alex smiled weakly “and don’t forget to take this” she gave her sister a flower, making her raise an eyebrow “what? It’s romantic.”

“Alex, this isn’t a date” Kara repeated for the fifth time that night “and what flower is this anyway?”

“A white chrysanthemum” the redhead left the meaning of the plant aside but it fit the situation perfectly.

The doorbell rang and the blonde was so anxious she didn’t hear her friend’s steps through the hallway.

“Oh, Rao…” Kara inhaled “are you sure this is going to work?”

“Keep that smiled, give her this flower and leave me the rest” she winked “c’mon, answer the door.”

“R-right..”

As she found her friend standing out of the door, Kara was sure the world stopped. She was able to hear Lena’s heartbeat-like drums in a quiet room and Seedy’s heartbeat just as strong behind it. But they had no chance against her own panicked heart. The sweet perfume invaded her nose, almost exploding her lungs in excitement and pleasure, the young Danver’s favorite smell. Lena was dazzling, her eyes looked as if they had gained a new color, almost crystal. Her black, slightly wavy hair fell on her shoulders with elegance, it was breathtaking. The bordeaux plaid skirt outlined every curve of her body, from her high waist until the lower knee. Her tights looked as if they were made to fit that piece. The white shirt, covered by a beautiful laced tissue only made Lena’s skin more evident, a creamy white.

She was fucked, completely fucked. If she was able to sweat, her hands would be dripping.

“As entertaining it is to watch you two, I really need to go” Alex broke the moment “and you, Luthor, take care of her or you’re going to have to deal with me” she smiled, Lena didn’t even blink, she was so lost.

“Er… sure” Lena answered, exhaling, and only then realizing she was holding her breath “sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

“I thought so” the redhead provoked “bring my sister back alive and fully dressed, understood?”

“Alex!” Kara finally reacted, her face turning bright red “didn’t you say you had to go?” she pointed to the corridor.

“This is how you thank me?’ she dramatized and laughed “you two have a good evening” Alex walked through the door and stared at the Luthor “behave.”

“Alex, bye!” the blonde pushed her sister to the corridor “shall we?” she turned to her friend who was still silent.

Lena looked like she was in an endless trance and far away from that moment. Of course, Alex was not going to make things easier for the CEO. Because of that, when she remembered the dinner, Alex was sure to pick the best outfit for Kara, aware that it was going to bring the Luthor’s useless lesbian persona. And also the useless lesbian inside her young sister because if there was one thing the agent knew was that Lena Luthor knows how to dress. She was always flawless, perfect makeup and clothes tracing the curves of her elegant body.

“Lena?”

“Ah, yes” the CEO coughed fixing her posture “let’s go, the driver is waiting for us.”

“Wait, wait…” Kara held the other’s arm, feeling the electrical shock between the skins, and took a step back “this, er… this is for you…” she turned to the white flower “I… I, er… I know this isn’t a date and… not that it couldn’t be and if it was it’d be fine… but it isn't which is okay too and I…” Lena smiled half smirking and watched Kara place the flower on her blazer’s pocket.

“I love it” the Luthor stared into her eyes and the tension could burn the whole building down “ready?” she intertwined their arms and quietly wished that was a peaceful night.

“Ready” the blonde guided her to the exit, wishing her heart would stop trying to escape her chest.

 

***

 

During the way, Kara wanted to ask a million questions, she didn’t want to feel embarrassed in the house of National City’s scariest woman. However, she didn’t have the guts. In fact, she didn’t want to interrupt the private melody of two hearts beating steadily fast. She wanted to touch her belly again, to feel the warmth against her palm and talk to her child, she wanted to say she was there for her and to protect Seedy. But her courage only grew shorter as the car made its way. Which Lea was very grateful for, she was not in the state to answer any questions or deal with such action at that moment.

Lena’s mind was still heavy with guilt for what she had done in the bathroom, making her heart sink, and the guilt poison her soul. It was no secret for her that she was completely attracted and helplessly in love with her best friend, but Lena felt she was crossing all lines. She never was an expert on friendships or any personal relationships, to be honest, her personal life was always chaotic, that when it wasn’t nonexistent. Dealing with papers, numbers, contracts, and investors were much easier than to allow herself to feel and let someone get to know her in intimate ways. One day, her mind told her, one day you’re going to lose your friend.

Her thoughts and fears scared Lena day and night, making that pregnancy much harder than it already was.

Looking at Kara again, Lena noticed how blue her eyes were that night, she sighed charmed. Kara was extraordinary, gifted with rare and unusual beauty. Anyone could fall in love with her sweetness, tenderness, joy, and good humor. Lena couldn’t understand why, out of everyone in the world, the young Danvers chose her as a best friend. Why her? Why not another woman? Kara had so much potential and her heart could love anyone, any being from Earth or not, and still, there she was, sitting beside her. So close.

So close it hurt. It hurt not being able to touch her, not to tell her how she felt, and let all her fears out. As much as the Luthor was to tell her, it wasn’t fair. No one should carry someone else’s burden as Lena was sure her friend would want to carry hers, to protect her from all evil in the world, because that was who Kara was. Kara was made of compassion, mercy, love, and sacrifice. And for that reason, the CEO never thought herself deserving of that friendship. They were opposites.

But opposites attract. Pure magnetism. Lena wanted to believe science instead of her heart. Although, deep down, they both said the same thing.

“I’m nervous” Kara whispered walking to the front door of that mansion “what if… your mom doesn’t… like me? What if I… embarrass you?” she looked at the building and started to pick her nails “what if…”

“Breathe” Lena spoke softly “first of all, my mother doesn’t like anyone besides herself” and my brother thought but kept it to herself “and secondly, you never embarrass me. I don’t want you to pretend to be someone you’re not because we’re here. I know you and I ad… I like you the way you are.” Lena cursed herself for that mistake that almost came out. Hell.

“Okay,” she sighed “are my clothes okay? Do I have anything on my teeth?” Kara smiles exaggeratedly, trying to break the tension.

“Yes, daddy” Lena teased “you look incredibly…” hot, sexy, beautiful, and making me lose my mind she said mentally “great!” Lena sighed, feeling her hands sweat. She could not be turned on right there, right now, and especially with her friend next to her.

“Daddy?” Kara frowned “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Doesn’t matter” she waved it off feeling waves of heat travel down her body. “Let’s get in. Forget about it.”

“But I didn’t even get it” the blond complained “I’m…” her stomach roared, making Lena arch an eyebrow and her cheeks turn red “hungry…”

“Me too…” seconds later Lena’s stomach roared “I don’t like this plot of you two” her hand found its way to her belly “please, don’t exaggerate tonight,” Lena said to her belly.

“I’ll eat for you, Seedy” Kara pretended to whisper, making Lena laugh.

Before Lena could ring the bell, Lilian opened the door and smiled tastefully at the scene. Of course, her daughter would bring that lying CatCo reporter and National City hero. Lilian inhaled, controlling herself not to spill the truth right there, and made space for them to come in. The older woman hoped the other guests wouldn’t be bothered by the blond’s presence, after all, she wasn’t a Luthor and couldn’t even talk decently to the others on the table.

“I thought you weren’t coming” Lilian commented, closing the door.

“I thought so too” Lena answered defensively “Kara is my guest tonight, I hope you don’t mind” she was polite but fiercely putting her arm around Kara’s.

“Welcome,” Lilian smiled without looking at Kara and then pointed the way “I expect you to keep your posture and behave like the Luthor I raised you to be. Don’t make a scene, the world doesn’t revolve around you or even cares about your emotional or personal problems” Lilian spoke with her head high “are we understood?” she turned quickly to look down on her daughter.

“Yes, mother.”

The house was much bigger than Kara had thought, she had never stepped on such an immense and luxurious place. Lilian led them through the hallways to the dining room, where a couple and a young man were sitting comfortably around the table. Lena felt her body shiver and her stomach rolled every time her mother came to near her. Lena was unsure if it was out of fear, distrust, or disgust. It felt like her body refused to be a certain distance close to her mom, which worried Lena since they were going to spend the whole evening next to each other. Being in that place brought a lot of painful memories back, things Lena would rather never think about ever again. That mansion belonged to her brother and was out of use for years, ever since his arrest.

Passing through the rooms, each space of that cold and dark place, Lena remembered what it was like to grow as a Luthor. Lilian was never the mother Lena wanted or needed, she was always present but in an abusive and scary way. Her life changed completely after Lionel picked her from that orphanage, not that Lena would have rather stayed there, orphanages, most times, are terrible, and to grow around a bunch of strange, mentally destroyed, and psychologically unprepared children sounded like a nightmare. Lex had been her refuge during all those dinners with rich families in boring clubs, he was her partner in crime to escape boring lunches with vultures and people asking about L-Corp.

Lena was forced to dress according to her mother’s will, to behave like a lady, speak like an adult, and smile like a doll. She was always flawless inexpensive dresses, fancy shoes, hair up, and wide attention eyes. She couldn’t speak without her mother’s permission, couldn’t give her opinion or say what was on her mind, Lena wasn’t even allowed to play with the other magnates’ children. Her life was made of rules. Time to wake, to sleep, to eat, to study, and even to go outside. Lilian made her study in an all-girls boarding school, forcing her to pick at least one sport and signing her in many extracurricular activities. The little Luthor barely had time to breathe, to read the books she wished to, or to be a child.

Before going to sleep, Lena always stayed up imagining what it would have been like to be raised by her real mother. Lilian made sure to constantly remind her she wasn’t part of that family and she would have to work twice as hard to be half of what Lex was. Lena had no wish of being the best, the bravest, or a Luthor. She just wanted to be herself.

Her heart was heavy with all the memories that came in a flood. Her hand instinctively went to her belly and she apologized in silence. Lena couldn’t bear the risk of raising that child the same way she was raised or to let someone else carry the burden of the Luthor name. Lena knew nothing about motherhood, about being a mother, or about affection. Mathematics, physics, science, now those she understood. Lena could never be the mother that baby needed, even if she wanted to be, even if she already felt the love. It wasn’t a choice. Being a Luthor meant sacrifice and requirements. That small Seedy needed to be happy and have the childhood every baby deserves to have. And this wouldn’t happen if Lena were her mother.

By the table there was a child, maybe ten years old, and next to him sat an old lady, wearing a white uniform, watching the boy play something on his phone. The Luthor observed his mother, blond with a red lipstick too dark for her skin tone, she paid no attention to the boy. The other two young men, one that Lena assumed was the kid’s father, due to their similarity talked to each other loudly, also ignoring the boy’s existence. The nanny was there just to make sure he drank, ate, and behaved.

The scene made Lena’s head ache and her stomach roll again.

“Hey…” Kara whispered and reached for her hand under the table “Is everything okay? Are you in pain?”

“I’m… sick” Lena complained “but fine.”

“Are you sure?” Lena nodded and they were interrupted.

“Lena, it’s been so long since the last time I saw you” the blond woman smiled politely, “your mother told me about all your achievements in L-Corp and I must say I am surprised. I wasn't expecting so much.”

Kara could feel the poison dripping from those words and her fist closed forcefully. She couldn’t lose her composure and embarrass Lena, only because of that, Kara controlled herself.

“Well, from someone like you, I expected more scandals, given all the insanity that surrounds this family” the woman continued “but you’re overcoming some expectations.”

“How kind of you, but I…”

“Lena did more than she should have for this city and the people” Kara interrupted her friend. Her voice was strong and determined. Kara fixed the glasses on her nose and kept going “I don’t know if you read the news three months ago, but we were going to face a mass enslaver of the human race if she hasn't adapted the device created by Lex to get rid of Superman. If it weren’t for Lena, we wouldn’t be here having the conversation and listening to untruthful criticism without any reasonable argument.

“Wow” the lady smiled “I must admit I didn’t hear much about it, we were on vacation on an island in the Philippines” she shook her shoulders as if nothing had happened “and who are you, by the way?

“Kara Danvers” Kara said proudly, feeling Lena’s stare on her “CatCo reporter.”

“Lena doesn’t deserve all this credit” Lillian interrupted before the subject died “the device was created by my son and had another purpose, one that I appreciated much more” she smiled and the others smiled back, leaving Kara completely uncomfortable and frightened “Rhea, the queen of the daxamites, managed to fool Lena into building a portal where all these… aliens could pass through. Who makes a mess has to deal with the consequences and Lena did nothing more than to fix the mess she made” Lilian placed a hand on her daughter’s shoulder and another wave of sickness attacked Lena’s body.

“I thought Luthors weren’t easy to fool” the older man commented “Mrs. Wilson, please, take him outside or somewhere else, this noise is disturbing us,” he ordered and the boy was taken from the dining room.

“Posture, Lena” Lilian whispered to her “what is going on with you? Fix that posture, hands on the edge of the table, and what a mess, you’re sweating.” the mother sighed. Lena did her best to fix her posture, still feeling her stomach twist and making her shiver. The hand was still on her shoulder.

Kara was, obviously, hearing all that. Her superhearing was sensitive and she would have rather not heard Lilian treat her daughter like that like she was a misbehaving child. Even if Lena was a bit stubborn, that was just not right. Lena was always her example of good manners, flawless posture, and strength under any circumstance. However, standing there, surrounded by meek and empty people, it seemed that she went back to being the little scared Lena. The one that listened and obeyed. The one that was afraid so kept quiet.

“I didn’t raise you to be like this, it’s a good thing you all know she’s not my biological daughter.” Lilian carried on, pouring more of the drink for her “Lena always had this innocence that blinded and made her foolish.”

“True, you didn’t raise me to be like this” Lena took the hand on her shoulder off, doing her best to not throw up the little food she had had “you raised me to be ashamed of who I am, to fear everything around me and to look for recognition that I expected to come from you.” she took a deep breath. She was going to break soon “Excuse me” Lena got up quickly and angered, throwing her napkin over the table.

As she saw her friend leave the table, Kara got up and went after her. Her heart ached, hearing Lena sob and slam one of the bathroom doors. She could clearly hear two desperate hearts and wished she could fly them away from that place. Kara waited patiently by the door, shaking with hatred and trying to keep calm. Lena had eaten half of the plate, making the great effort to not eat too much and now there she was, vomiting it all out and probably feeling bad for her lack of control. Now Kara believed she could start to understand everything that was going on with her friend.

Silence reigned over the hallway and weak laughter echoed from the dining room. No one cared about their absence, no one wanted the two women there. Lilian didn’t even come to check on her daughter, to see if she needed help or something of the sort. Nothing. If it was up to anyone there, Lena would be by herself through the rest of the night, and, realizing that Kara felt glad she came.

Kara, what’s going on?

“It’s Lena” Kara answered the hearing device “she… she’s sick.”

Do you need help? You need to get her home.

“I… don’t know, let me ask her” she sighed “if so, I’ll tell you.”

Ok. I’m here anything, really!

“Lena?” Kara knocked softly.

“Go away” Lena murmured, “just… leave me alone.”

“I’m not leaving you alone” she answered firmly but warm. “May I coming in?”
“No…” her voice was weak “just leave me here…”

“I’m waiting for you and am not leaving,” Kara said “even if you don’t let me it”

Silence, again.

Two minutes passed and Kara stepped away from the door, hearing the locker turn and a small gap open. It was dark inside, but Kara could still see and what she saw didn’t please her. Lena was sitting on the floor, arms around her knees and back to the wall, next to the toilet. Her hair stuck in her forehead and cheeks from the cold sweating, making her look paler than she was. That was enough to make Kara rage again and want to go to that dining room and scream at all of them.

Lena wasn’t made of iron and ice. Not like the rest of that family. Cold, heartless, calculating, thirst for power. Lena was just a fragile woman trying to make a name for herself outside the hard legacy her last name carried. That was her Lena, her best friend, and mother of her child.

“Oh, Lena…” Kara sat down beside her and pulled her in her arms, gently tightening her in. Without a second thought, Lena hugged her waist and sobbed again. “Shhh, it will be okay…”

“No, it won’t” Lena whispered, “she’s going to… sh-she…”

“Lilian is not going to do anything” Kara actuated firmly. If that woman even thought about going near her family, Kara was not going to answer for her actions. “Come with me, let’s go” she kneeled facing Lena, and place one hand below her thighs and another on her lower back “hold on to my neck, I’m lifting you.”

Lena put her arms around the blond and felt the heat of her body quickly warm hers. It was like hugging the sun, Lena thought. Her head weighed on her shoulders and soon the stress and tiredness consumed her, making her fall lightly asleep. Although Lena knew she shouldn’t show so much weakness, shouldn’t let her guard down, and let her best friend save her again, the Luthor couldn’t think of anything at that moment. Her stomach still ached and she didn’t understand how she could be so sick so fast, but she also didn’t understand how that sickness disappeared as soon as Kara touched her skin. It reminded her of how hard it was to be around certain people she didn’t know but Lena was in no conditions to make theories.

Lena didn’t know if anything else happened, or how much time it passed, and when she came to herself again, she felt a soft blanket fall on her. Her shoes were taken off and a thicker blanket was put over her and then… then Lena felt something she didn’t know she needed so much.

A kiss on the cheek and a sweet voice saying everything was going to be okay.

 

***

 

“Miss Luthor, here’s the contract you asked for plus the spreadsheets” Jess walked into the room once again that Friday “do you need anything else?” Are you feeling alright today?” Of course, the secretary knew, and even if Lena tried to hide, her thirteen weeks pregnancy was starting to show.

“I’m great, thank you” Lena smiled “I just need to be far from certain smells and foods.”

“Drink a lot of liquid” Jess ordered “I took the liberty to put some natural juices and snacks in the bar, I hope it’s enough.”

“Thank you, Jess” she was honest “I’ll call you if I need anything.”

Lena watched the other woman exit herself and suspired relieved after the door closed. What she most admired in the secretary was her discretion when it came to any subject. Jess knew she was pregnant and probably knew it was a mistake but never asked anything that crossed a line. She didn’t invade her space and her private life, she wasn’t invasive and knew her place in these situations. Still, she worried about Lena. Three weeks had passed since the diner at her mother’s place, Lena still hadn’t had any news from her, for which she was very grateful. There hadn’t been any more sickness or tiredness, she felt strangely energetic.

The morning following the diner at the Luthor mansion, Lena woke up and found a note on top of the kitchen counter, alongside a full breakfast table. Kara had slept on the couch, she knew that for sure, her friend's perfume haunted the whole living room. The blanket, that now she considered it Kara’s, was folded and placed on the table, next to an empty cup. The feeling of knowing she hadn’t been alone and the warmth she felt waking up and finding breakfast ready filled Lena’s heart with something she couldn’t describe. Lena could get used to that, the routine of waking up, reading a note, and knowing that someone watched over her in the night.

However, something inside herself made Lena close her unbreakable glass wall even more. She was going too far, crossing every line and although she knew Kara would never discuss that with her, the Luthor couldn’t allow herself to feel all those wonderful emotions. Holding that thought, Lena thanked the heavens for the excessive amount of work she had due the following weeks and Kara was stuck with piles of articles to get through. That solved the problem of her friend showing up anytime, showing that smile that could light up a whole galaxy and keep anyone around her warm. Lena wouldn’t have to hear about her baby’s development or classes for pregnant women.

Her phone vibrated next to her and she smiled looking at the name above the text.

K: Did you eat? Took your medicine? Are you feeling okay?
K: Sorry… Good morning!

K: Did you know that Seedy is the size of a pod now?

Lena laughed to herself and unblocked the screen to answer.

L: Good morning!

L: Yes, I have, Jess, won’t let me go more than three hours without eating.

L: By the way, this child won’t let me be.

K: What do you mean?

L: Just this week I had your favorite Noonan’s pie three times, besides my dying desire for those potstickers.

K: Oh… I fell in love with the right seedy!

K: Kidding

K: What are your plans for today?

L: I’m finishing a report and some research, but I want to show the last ultrasound images to Supergirl.

K: REALLY?

K: I mean… really?

L: I just pressed the device underneath the desk, waiting for her.

Lena waited for an answer to her text but it never came. Leaving the phone aside, she turned her attention back to the computer screen and carried on with her notes about kryptonians. She felt stupid for continuing doing that and didn’t understand what motivated her between meetings and in her free time to search for information about Krypton and its habitants. It was like something deeper bothered her heart, something greater than a curiosity but the CEO preferred to think it was her right to know more about the mother of her baby.

“Are we hungry again?” Lena caressed her belly feeling her stomach roar “you know, I need you to cooperate with me” she murmured tenderly and walked to the small fridge in her office “let’s make a deal, what do you think?” her belly was only getting more visible “I promise we will eat every three hours if… you allow me to eat something at least a bit more healthy” her stomach roared again and Lena laughed “I’m you mother, you shouldn’t be questioning me.” Lena sighed and grabbed one of the yogurts she knew Seedy liked. Her baby’s stubborn and strong character was impressive.

“Lena?” she heard a known voice calling her from the balcony “er… I mean, miss Luthor” Lena smiled.

“No need for formalities here, I’m carrying your child, remember?” she joked “I hope I didn’t disturb you…”

“No, not at all!” The hero got closer and didn’t know how to proceed. Kara and Lena had a completely different relationship than Supergirl and Lena, which made her extremely confused at times “I… do you need anything?”

“Sit down, please” Lena pointed to the couch “You want anything? Water?”

“No, thank you” Kara sighed nervously and sat on top of the red cape “is that… red fruit yogurt?” her stomach roared making the hero blush. The Luthor raised an eyebrow, curious “sorry, I didn’t have time to lunch yet.”

“How many calories do you need to consume per day? I assume it’s over five thousand since your metabolism needs extra energy for all your activities” the CEO asked “and take this” she handed the pot.

“No, it’s okay.” she refused, frowning, feeling her mouth water.

“There’s a lot more where this came from” Lena insisted “and you shouldn’t contradict a pregnant woman” she smirked, making the blond blush even harder “should I assume it’s your favorite flavor?”

“Yes! How did you know?” she spoke, filling her mouth with it trying not to moan with the taste “Rao! This is wonderful!” Lena laughed at the sight.

“It’s your child’s favorite” Lena explained, not noticing it was the first time she spoke about the baby as Supergirl’s child too. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by the superhero “it’s also Kara’s favorite.” she said randomly.

“And how is the baby? No, actually, how are you?” Supergirl changed the subject quickly “I hope the sickness stopped and…”

“How do you know about the sickness?”

“I… er… Kara commented these days” she lied “anyway, Alex explained to me it’s very common in pregnancies.”

“It is, unfortunately, but I’m glad that phase passed by” Lena sighed “you still haven’t answered me about your diet.”
“Oh, yes! I need at least ten thousand calories a day” Lena spilled the water she was drinking and choked, coughing hard while the blond tapped her back lightly “Lena, are you okay? Oh, Rao… deep breaths! Do you need a doctor? Air?

“No, no…” she coughed again “I’m fine, it’s just… holy shit, ten thousand calories? That’s… wow!” Supergirl felt her cheeks blush.

“Why the question?” now the CEO felt her face go red. How would she confess she was searching for information about the other mother of her baby?

No, she was not going to say that out loud.

“I…” she cleared her throat “do you think there’s any chance this child will have your… powers?” Kara went quiet, she hadn't stopped to consider the possibility yet.

“To be honest, I don’t know” she answered “why? Do you think she might… have any?”

“Maybe” Lena sighed “that would only make things worse…”

“What do you mean?”

“If this child is like you, I can’t simply ignore that fact” she explained “I don’t want anyone taking advantage of it or leaving them unprotected. Who knows what might happen…”

“Oh…” was what Supergirl managed to say “I hadn’t… thought about it this way. You’re right.”

“I need more information, I need to know what to expect from this pregnancy” they stared at each other for a few moments and Lena swore she knew those bright blue eyes from somewhere.

“Well, the DEO has enough technology to deal with it, but I don’t want them anywhere near you or the baby” the hero confessed, fidgeting with her cape “unless… unless you want to, but I…” she sighed “I don’t like that idea.”

“Me neither. Can you convince Alex to help us?” Kara let her chin fall as she heard the word ‘us’.

Was Lena actually asking her to make a decision? Together? Rao! That was so much better than what she had imagined.

 

“Yes! Sure!” Kara smiled, excited “I can speak with her today, and…” sirens coming from a block nearby interrupted them “damn it!”

Lena saw the disappointment in Supergirl’s eyes and allowed herself to feel empathy for the superhero that looked so fragile and vulnerable looking at her. As much as Lena wanted to forget, the girl of steel was also the mother of that life growing inside her, one that gradually won more space on her heart. Even against her will. Not thinking about her action, the CEO reached for Supergirl’s warm hands, feeling her body shiver with the touch. It’s like hugging the sun, she thought. It felt like holding a star in her hands.

Still moved by that warm feeling, Lena took Supergil’s hand and placed it on her belly, smiling shyly, unsure of what to do next. Kara could hear her friend’s heartbeat desperately fast, so strong that she almost forgot about the sirens screaming down the street. Her finger felt the warmth coming from there and her soul absorbed that loving heart. It was perfect, extraordinary and she was barely able to keep tears from falling.

“Ukiemiv’odh w’rrip, eh is’kah“ Kara whispered in love before flying away to save the day again.

 

***

 

During that afternoon, the CEO made herself busy with whatever she could, but that phrase didn’t leave her mind. What had Supergirl said? What did those words mean? Lena sighed, defeated. How could she ever understand a dead language like kryptonian if there barely were information about that planet, ruled by a red sun? Damn it, she thought to herself, this mess is only getting more and more difficult. The incredible thing was that she had never felt so good since the pregnancy began, especially after the superhero left. There weren’t any bother, sickness - though less frequent, still happened - and her stomach didn’t roar for over two hours. That felt like a great advance since that baby seemed to be hungry every forty minutes.

What magic could that be? What effect was that? She sighed again. Lena needed to learn kryptonian immediately and more importantly, could not let Supergirl know.

“Lena?” her favorite voice in the world echoed in the room. Golden hour’s orange light started to show, creating a soft and comfortable environment “hey…”

“Kara!” Lena smiled. She wasn’t expecting a visit from her friend, especially after she remembered she had forgotten to answer her texts “I thought… doesn’t matter” the CEO sighed and walked in for a hug, inhaling all she could of that perfume, letting it invade her lungs.

“I wasn’t sure if I should come and I… er, I wanted… to make a surprise,” Kara said nervously “I hope I’m not disturbing…;

“You never disturb me.” Lena reassured for the hundredth time “to which honor do we owe your visit” Kara smiled at the plural pronoun.

“I wanted to take you somewhere special today and…” she sighed “I came to let you know I’m traveling tomorrow and probably will be out of town for the week” that caught the Luthor off guard “I have to cover a subject in another.... er, city.” Kara lied, in fact, Barry Allen had shown up and asked for help “they didn’t give me a specific date of return…”

“Oh, right… okay,” Lena nodded. Although her heart ached a bit inside, thinking of not seeing Kara for a whole week “I hope it all works out for you there. I thought… nevermind.”

“What?” What did you think?” Kara asked, holding her hand tightly “tell me, please.”

“It’s nonsense” she tried to laugh it off, “I thought we were going to the next class together and I… doesn’t matter, it’s not like it’s… a big deal, anyway I have a lot of things to do.”

“Heavens, I forgot about that!” she hit a palm on her face “I’ll do my best to come back in time and if I can’t, I want you to go and I want you to tell me everything you learned afterward.”

“There’s no need, Kara” Lena reassured, “it’s not that important.”

“It’s important for me” there were the frowning and begging eyes, like Kara always did until Lena had no choice but to agree with her “will you do it for me?”

Lena rolled her eyes, defeated.

“Yes,” she sighed “that’s what friends are for, right?”

“That’s right!” she agreed excited “now get your things, we have to go before the sun sets and… hey! Is that red fruit yogurt.”

“Be my guest to eat them” Lena laughed, looking at the blonde and only finding her more and more charming. The useless lesbian part of her never made it easier.

“Heavens! How wonderful this is!” Kara moaned eating the first cup quickly “it’s my favorite.”

“I thought I was your favorite” she teased, making the other woman frown. Of course, Kara didn't get it.

“But… I can’t eat you,” she answered, lost.

“That depends on the point of view.” Lena winked, smirking, watching the young Danvers face grow red.

Oh, Rao! Now she got it.

 

***

 

After the driver dropped them off at an unknown neighborhood, they walked for a few blocks. Kara wanted her friend to walk more frequently since Lena was experiencing cramps and some exercise could help the blood circulate better. Not that Kara knew that coincidentally, she was annoying the hell out of Alex, asking questions and more questions until she couldn’t remember all the answers her sister told her. She never thought pregnancies were so complicated.

Autumn’s cold breeze ran through the Luthor’s hair, waving them although they were up. Her hand was still on her belly while the other held Kara’s arm. Any person passing by would think they were a couple doing whatever couples do on a nice afternoon, watching time fly and waiting anxiously for their baby to come. The belly was definitely showing on that tight dress.

Lena knew that if she wasn’t very careful her heart would get used to that sensation. Thinking one day they could be a real couple holding hands walking down the street. But it wasn’t like that and it would never be like that. The baby she was expecting wasn’t Kara’s and the CEO didn’t even know if her friend was into women. Which reminded her she never asked about it, they had never talked about that subject.

Shit. Now Lena was curious but didn’t have the guts to ask.

“We’re here!” Kara pulled her back to reality “you’re going to love this place!”

“And where are we, exactly?” Lena questioned. She heard some barks from the inside and things started adding up. Kind of.

“Hey, Bailey” her friend greeted a brown-haired girl that looked about fifteen.

“Kara!” the girl ran to her and went in for a tight hug “It’s been so long since I last saw you.”

“That’s true, I’m sorry” Kara smiled “I brought a special person today.” she turned to Lena, who was watching the scene with hesitation.

“Oh! Your girlfriend?” Bailey jumped with excitement “damn! She’s so pretty! Hi, I’m Bailey” she reached out her hand and both the Luthor and the young Danvers stood reactionless.

Why did everyone insist they were a couple?

 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Lena” she answered politely and thought it funny to see the girl smile and widen her eyes.
“Lena, like… the amazing and powerful Lena Luthor?” Bailey’s eyes shone in admiration for the figure in front of her.

“That one, Bay” Kara answered and looked at her friend.

“Wow! This is so cool!” her voice was loud “and you’re here at my mom’s dog shelter. Ha! No one in school is going to believe me.”

“Where’s your phone?” Lena asked. Bailey and Kara looked at each other not following the thought “don’t you want proof to show your friends at school?” she smiled.

“Oh, yes! Damn!” The girl ran to the balcony and went back at the same speed, carrying the device. Lena stood next to the girl and took a simple picture of them, even though she despised being photographed “oh my God! I’m literally going to die” Kara snorted at the drama “okay, okay… are you here to see the dogs?”

“Of course!” Kara nodded “I want to show Brover to her.”

“Follow me” Bailey led the way, guiding them through a narrow hallway. The strong scent of animals invaded the blond’s nose, making her wonder if that was a good idea after all. What if Lena got sick because of the smell? “This week we had to shelter more than ten puppies that were abandoned, beside the five kittens left at our front door. We’re almost desperate, I don’t know how my parents are able to buy food for them with the donations.” the girl kept on talking.

“And how are the two labradors from last month?” Kara asked. Lena stayed silent, listening attentively.

“One was adopted last Monday and the other one is still here.” she explained, “you have to see the one we rescued in the middle of the avenue yesterday…”

The trio entered a big room where many cubicle cages were placed on the walls. There were cats and dogs of every size and color, all of them with some sort of medicine, band-aid, or white bandage on them. It was like a huge infirmary of a vet hospital. The strong scent didn’t bother Lena but it was still bad. Her heart sank as she realized all animals there were hurt or sick and some didn’t have a chance of recovering there.

“Hey, big boy!” Bailey approached a brown border collie “look who’s here to see you” the dog and a bandage around his paw but still shook his tail and put his tongue out “that’s right! That’s our boy!”

“Brover!” Kara hugged him and patted his head “hey, I missed you too!” the dog licked her face, making the woman giggle “I brought a friend, say hi, Brover!” she turned to Lena who was standing still “c’mon, he doesn’t bite.”

“I’m not… I’m not good with animals, Kara” Lena confessed hesitantly. In fact, she had never interacted with an animal her entire life.

“If he likes you, it’s because you’re good with animals,” Bailey commented while refilling the water for other dogs.

“C’mon, Lena” Again, the damned pout. It wasn’t fair, that cute pout was not fair. “please…”

“Right” she walked slowly trying to avoid that situation somehow. What if he didn’t like her? What if it barked? What if he got angry and hurt her?

God, she was scared.

However, as she got closer to the ‘beast’, it just shook its tail quickly and licked her fingers, making her frown. Kara snorted at the scene and showed her how to pet the soft fur. Lena traced a line from the ears to the tail, watching Brover enjoy the caressing. His tail didn’t stop moving and she wondered if that didn’t tire him. Obviously not. There was something about dogs that she didn’t understand, but she had read once that dogs were able to improve humor, diminish stress, and even make people less prone to heart diseases.

That was what Lena felt like the weight had fallen off her shoulder and now the burden was lighter.

“Who’s this?” Kara asked Bay, who was kneeled next to a golden cocker spaniel “hey, girl…” she whispered caressing its long ears.

“What’s wrong with her?” Lena questioned, kneeling too. The dog looked very down and was probably in pain. There wasn’t the same light in her eyes as Brover had, there wasn’t joy surrounding her “she looks so tired…”

“And she is” Bay confirmed, slowly tracing a pattern on the dog's belly “we don’t know if she’s going to make it… I feel useless…”

“What happened?”

“We found her on the avenue and brought her here immediately” the girl explained “it was raining and we couldn't wait, but the issue is she’s expecting and we don’t have enough money for the ultrasound, the medicine, and everything to make sure the puppies will be okay” she sighed “we don’t even know if they’re alive, because she’s in pain and cries… I wanted to take her home but my mom said we don’t have any more space.”

“I’m so sorry, Bay” Kara hugged the girl in an attempt for consolation.

“What does she need?” Lena finally said something. She couldn’t let that dog die, she would never forgive herself for that.

“Many consults with a vet, ultrasound, medicine, and a warm bed” Bailey frowned “we usually keep the dogs on the kennel here but she can’t be with the other dogs.”

And so the Luthor saw herself on a dead-end street. What was she going to do? How could she help? It had never crossed her mind to invest in animal shelters and adoption centers. Usually, she got requests for donations to orphanages and children’s hospitals. A place like that, that sheltered injured abandoned animals every day, animals in need of attention, deserved all the attention and help. Holding that thought, Lena knew she was about to make a mistake but it was for the greater good.

“I’m taking her” Lena spoke suddenly.

“What?”

“Really?”

“How do I do that?” she ignored the surprised look on Kara’s face and focused “what do I have to sign?”

“Holy shit! You really are a hero!” Bay hugged her tight, surprising Lena “wow, I don’t have words to thank you! I’m going to call my mom!” she got up and ran, leaving Kara and the CEO alone.

“Are you sure you’re going to do that?” Kara questioned, though she was about to explode with love and pride for that woman “you know… it’s a lot… of responsibility...”

“Are you calling me irresponsible?” Lena teased.

“No! I… I, er, I just…” she coughed “I’m… happy for you, but I don’t want more things on your plate.”

“Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing,” she lied. She did even know what she was thinking when that decision was made.

The arrival of the girl’s mother interrupted them and she smiled, shaking her hand.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Mary” her voice was sweet “so, you really intend to adopt this soon-to-be mom?”

“Hi, Lena” she avoided the surname “yes, and I also want to propose a deal” Lena spoke gravely. Kara watched her friend change to CEO mode as she always did when it came to business.

“I’m listening.”

“Bailey commented about how hard it was to afford the shelter, the food, and care for the animals. Therefore I am willing to buy and finance any posterior expense needed for the animals and the structure.” okay, no one saw that coming.

There was silence. Mary was the first one to digest the words, unsure of what she had just heard.

“Buy?” her voice broke.

“It would still be on your name or your husband’s, whichever you decide” Lena explained “but I will be the one responsible for the bills, maintaining the shelter always ready for any animal rescue and care.

“Wow, I… I was certainly not waiting for that.” she sighed “I still have to talk with my husband and decide that with him, may I get in touch with you miss…?”

“Luthor” Lena revealed “Miss Luthor, but you can call me Lena” now it all made sense. That was no common woman.

That was Lena Luthor.

“Right” Mary took a deep breath “we will be in touch and will give you an answer as soon as possible. In the meantime, are you ready to adopt our princess?”

“Of course she is, mom” Bailey rolled her eyes “did you know they’re dating?”

“Bay!” Kara exclaimed, nervous and completely red, avoiding eye contact with Lena “we don’t… we’re not, er… girlfriends.”

“Too much stuttering, Kara” the girl laughed “and you’re not fooling anyone.”

“Okay, kid” Mary stopped it “I already told you to not get your nose on other people’s business” she handed the CEO some papers and a paper “here it is, read and sign the four pages, please.”

“Right” Lena nodded “and what is her name? Bailey didn’t mention it.”

“It’s because she doesn’t have one” the girl answered.

“This will be your first task as a pet mom then,” Kara said, smiling “are you ready to take that step?” blue eyes met green and the world stopped moving.

The answer was no, she was not ready for that step and barely knew what her life was becoming. But all she was able to do was cry and felt another wall inside her break down. That hurt and shook all her structures. Then again, she heard Alex’s voice inside her mind, firm as always. Allow yourself. She had to allow herself to feel. And maybe then, it wouldn’t hurt forever.

Chapter Text

It was busy dawn at the DEO, Supergirl and Alex had been called to help Barry on Earth 1 and neither of them knew what it was about. However, J’onn was a bit hesitant and called the superhero for an honest and serious conversation, something that Kara wasn’t expecting. Her older sister had always been someone great at hiding fears and anguishes, leaving them aside at any given moment and prioritizing more important things or whatever she decided was more important than emotions. Alex’s whole life could be put on a single phrase: putting everything she could before herself and forgetting things she couldn’t deal with throughout.

During the last couple of months, Alex had given up on something and Kara couldn’t put a finger on what it was. The young Danvers had never been good at guessing and although that was her sister and her friend, she was unable to say what was going on in her heart. Alex didn’t talk, didn’t vent, and didn’t let any of her friends get close enough to understand what was happening. Well, Kara knew she and Maggie were going through a rough phase because of a specific topic but her sister refused to talk to her about it, Alex just kept repeating it would be fine. That she was going to be fine.

And J’onn was completely sure something was terribly wrong.

At first, he thought he was being paranoid, perhaps. He observed how his best agent was more tired each day, how her hands trembled as she held heavier guns. Everyone at the DEO knew the redhead was intimidating, always serious, and ready to punch anyone who tried to be funny or nosy. Some were scared, obviously, but deep down they all knew she was just as loving as her younger sister. But that is where things had gotten a little different.

Alex was more annoyed, angrier, lacking patience for any kind of instructions or small talk, killing time in the training room to burn off energy she didn’t have. Her eyes were red, surrounded with a black shadow of tiredness and it was easy to notice her struggles to focus. People who knew her and saw her everyday realized right away something was wrong, however, Alex knew how to dodge questions and concerns, even of those who truly cared about her well-being. She was not in the state of mind to answer questions or hearing advice from people that barely knew her. Alex was done, done with people telling her ‘it is going to be okay’.

Because clearly, it was not going to be okay.

“Alex” Supergirl entered the lab and found her sister sitting down chugging down water from her old huge bottle.

“Hey, ready to go?” Alex asked, rotating the chair to face the hero.

“That is what I… er, came to talk to you about” Kara coughed nervously “I wanted… wanted to ask you a favor.”

“Go ahead” she put the bottle aside and Kara observed how tired her sister looked “did something happen?”

“No… actually, I wanted to talk about his trip” she sat down next to her “Barry called the other heroes to help so we’ll be a big number, which is good and means we’re probably coming back earlier. But I… I wanted to ask you to stay here and take care of Lena for me” Alex’s body tensed and she frowned.

“Kara, I’m not staying behind” she was firm.

“Please, Alex, I need someone to stay and to take care of Lena and you’re the only one I trust to do that” Kara begged “I don’t even know when I’m coming back and I don’t want her to be alone while I’m there.”

“Tell me the truth” Alex got up enraged, feeling a wave of unusual anger take control of her body “you…” she laughed sarcastically “you are a shitty liar.”

Supergirl got up too, keeping the perfect posture needed for when the situations were more complicated. Her face visibly changed from calm to serious. Kara was not going to allow Alex to travel like that, fighting villains that could kill her with that state of mind.

“Alex you are not fine and you have been hiding that from me for weeks” Supergirl spoke “I am worried and so is J’onn, and you acting like you don’t care! I can’t allow you to do that to yourself and put yourself in danger that you might not get out alive.”

“I don’t need your permission, Supegirl” Alex was sarcastic “I am a grown woman that can make its own decisions.”

“And even so you’re behaving like a stubborn child” she raised her voice, “you think it’s fine facing whatever we’re going to face like that? Rao! Alex, what is going on?” Kara tried steeping closer but her sister immediately stepped away, reaching for the bottle on the table with hatred in her eyes.

“If I can’t come along, fine” she grabbed her things and threw them in a bag “but don’t you dare interrogate me, I don’t need advice and I don’t need help to sort out my personal problems.”

“Alex…” Kara immediately regretted that conversation. It seemed as if the world was going to fall down and she wasn’t capable of holding them all at once. It was the right thing to do, she was not going to let her sister get hurt.

“Don’t worry” Alex turned around “Lena will be fine and I’ll be here to help her.”

“I’m sorry about this, I can’t…”

“Safe travel” she interrupted Kara and walked away, leaving the superhero alone with her thoughts.

J’onn, who was hearing everything outside the room, came in and smiled tenderly to Supergirl, in an attempt to console her. Alex could be tough and cold and even distant sometimes, but her heart was big and she was always one to love recklessly and limitlessly, even if that destroyed her. Her fixation with self-sacrifice for those she loved was always there, ever since they were kids. Kara perfectly remembered every time her sister got in dangerous fights because of her, to defend her even knowing the young sister was strong enough to handle things by herself.

“You did the right thing, Kara” he whispered.

“I know, but I’m still worried” she sighed “let’s find Barry and tell him we’re good to go.”

“Right, have a safe trip, and don’t worry too much” J’onn smiled “Lena will be safe.”

“Thank you.”

 

***

 

Lena canceled all her meetings that cold and rainy morning to take her new roommate to the vet and had plenty of time to experience what it was like to take care of someone completely dependable on her. The dog was in pain while walking, had trouble standing up, and only looked comfortable when in one specific position. The Luthor almost bought the entire pet shop, not sure of what she should take home. Dog food, blankets, food pots, leashes, and even hygiene and bath products were chosen blindly. Lena desperately wished Kara was there with her, but three days had gone by and her friend didn’t even answer her texts.

Not that it bothered Lena too much, she knew Kara was on a work trip and it wouldn’t be very responsible to be on the phone, but something inside her kept saying something was very wrong and she had no idea what it could be. So Lena took the Luthor way and decided to ignore her heart and made her way to the vet, next to her, the small caramel puppy stared at her with curious and frightened eyes. Two days had gone by and Lena was not exactly sure how to deal with her. She didn’t know how to take care of the animal or what to do when she cried, but one thing she knew for sure: not being alone in her apartment was something Lena could get used to.

The dog still didn’t have a name and Lena spent hours staring at the computer screen learning about its race, the problems it could have during pregnancies, how to shower it and what it should or shouldn’t eat. Maybe she was overthinking it, but how could judge her? Lena didn’t want to fail her new partner and let her suffer from diseases or problems that could come up.

The driver parked in front of a building with baby blue walls where a huge board indicated every service available for clients, Jess was the one who chose the place. The last thing the secretary expected was to get a call from her boss Saturday morning asking her to find the best veterinary offices in the city and schedule a consultation, but it happened. However, Jess was thrilled to find out that the CEO had company now and knew that a dog would do her good, especially during pregnancy.

“Looks like we have two puppies in the way,” the doctor said smiling, while running the small machine on the dog’s newly shaved belly “and they look very healthy, she will probably go into labor in a few weeks.”

“Right” Lena sighed, relieved, petting the furry eyes trying to calm the dog down. When in fact, she was the one who needed calming down “and what should I do when that happens? She feels pain when she walks and can’t stand in the same position for too long.”

“I’m going to request an X-Ray to confirm my suspicions but I am almost sure she might have a broken bone” the doctor put the machine down and let Lena put the pet on her lap, “you told me she was rescued from the streets, right?”

“Yes, I adopted her from a dog shelter.”

“Okay, I’m going to give you some pills and ask for a leg and pelvis X-Ray, for now, she needs a lot of rest and love” she smiled and caressed the soft fur “what is her name?”

“I haven’t…” Lena sighed. It was past the time to choose a name for her companion and she already had one in mind “Agnes” she answered, smiling.

‘Luthors don’t have friends, they have minions’

“Alright, little Agnes, we’re going to keep an eye on you,” Lena noticed the way she shook her tail and was glad to see the dog more agitated “I’m also going to suggest you some dog food brands and your baby will be better in no time. About the labor, you can let be natural, there is no issue regarding that or, if you prefer, you can bring her in for a c-section.”

“Great” Lena smiled and took all the papers and recipes the doctor handled. After leaving the office, she bought a special leash. Red with a bone-shaped pin with her address, phone, and her new friend’s name.

Agnes.

By the sidewalk, Lena reached for her phone and took a quick photo of her with the caramel fur ball, who was so excited that licked the Luthor’s face. Lena was not expecting that and was moved by the affection, caressing the dog she carried her all the way to the car, feeling a funny warmth in her chest. The dog laid her head on Lena’s lap all the way back home, exhaling hot air directly to her prominent belly and quickly falling asleep. Lena felt as if she was starting a small family and the thought took her breath away. That was her family, at least for now.

L: I hope everything is okay.

L: Say hi to Agnes and Seedy!

L: ‘Lena sent a photo’

Before Lena could lock the screen and go back to looking out the window, the phone vibrated and a smile was formed intuitively.

K: Hi Agnes!

K: I miss you guys…

K: I’ll be back soon <3

The world stopped for a few moments. Kara had finally said something.

L: We miss you too <3

 

***

 

“What do you want?” Lena questioned Agnes for the third time, she stayed in the same position, sat down in front of the woman “are you hungry?” the dog whimpered softly and placed a paw on her knee “do you want to get on the sofa?” once again the whimper was heard “alright, come on up.”

The CEO tried to stay away from the company that afternoon, canceling her schedule and choosing to keep a close eye on her new partner, giving her the medicine at the exact required time and observing everything in detail, scared the pet would hurt. Lucky for Lena, the pills were working fast and Agnes was feeling less and less pain, which made her relieved. The doctor showed Lena the X-Ray results and came to the conclusion a small bone on her pelvis was fractured, nothing too serious, but it was the cause of all that suffering. According to the vet, that was common during pregnancy because there was a lower level of calcium on the mother’s body, once all nutrients ended up going to the puppies. And in that scenario, Agnes was holding two puppies.

The small dog was beginning to get used to the apartment, but Agnes, much like Kara, seemed to have that longing, begging look when she wanted something. The first night they were together, the puppy wept until Lena carried her over to the mattress and soon enough felt a furry body lay next to her, little head on her belly. An action that was becoming quite common. Every time that Lena was home, Agnes insisted on being as close as possible and always - always - touched her icy nose on her belly, giving the woman a unique sense of protection.

“I have to work, Agnes” Lena complained to the pet, who stared at her with those big brown loving eyes “don’t look at me like that, I already gave you food and took you out for a walk” the dog suspired and licked her exposed belly. Lena put the notebook aside and caressed Agnes’ ears “yes, I have a baby too” she lifted the shirt higher, one that gave to her a week before, letting the dog lick her skin again “see? I’m going to be a mommy just like you, well… not exactly like you” Lena sighed “I’m just keeping the baby safe until I give it to someone else, someone who will know how to take care of it” she explained, now caressing her belly and trying not to overthink her words. That one part of her body was always warm. “ did you take it well when you found out you were pregnant?” Agnes just kept staring at her and Lena smiled back to the pet “Seedy, this is our new friend” she looked down and placed both her hands on her stomach, where Agnes licked again “see? She likes you, just as I like you” Lena confessed, “like you more than I should…”

Before she could keep going with the monologue, her phone rang interrupting the moment. Agnes raised an ear, paying attention to the strange noise. Lena took the device and frowned, hesitating to answer it. It was an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Lena?” a cheerful voice answered back “this is Julie, from the pregnancy lessons!” the CEO arched an eyebrow and looked at Agnes, waiting for an explanation on the situation. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything, I got your number from teacher Zara.”

“Oh, no… you’re not interrupting anything” she laughed dryly “do you need anything?”

“Your wife told me she would be away this week and well, I wanted to know if I could pick you today” her body immediately tensed. Wife? What wife? “Lena?”

Oh, she meant her best friend! Shit. How could she deny it?

“I don’t… don’t know” Lena sighed, cornered “I’m not ready and I don’t want to be a bother.

“Don’t worry about it!” there were children noises in the background “just text me your address and we’ll be there in thirty minutes, I just need to feed Ezra and take my husband off the couch.”
“Oh… okay” she answered, uncertain. What was happening to her life?

“Put on comfortable clothes, Miss Power” Julie teased “see you later.”

“See you…”

As she hung up, Agnes was still on her lap with that calming face and Lena took a deep breath. Since when did she have friends like that? No, Julie and Ramona were not her friends. Were they? And what did Kara have to do with that? When did her best friend talk to Julie during the lesson? Okay. Everything was very, very confusing and Lena didn’t want to find an answer to all those questions now. She had half an hour to get changed, finish the email she began to write, and leave things arranged to make sure Agnes would be fine without her. Damn it, why did she always have to put herself in uncomfortable situations. Why couldn’t she ever say no?

Leaving her thoughts and fears aside, the Luthor ran to the bathroom and put on the first thing she found, happy to be able to wear leggings that didn’t hurt. She put on her sneakers and a green t-shirt and put her hair up on a perfect ponytail. As she looked in the mirror, Lena noticed how the bulge on her belly was starting to show through all her clothes. Now, this mess was becoming more and more real, more palpable and Lena still didn’t know how to feel about it. Not exactly.

Because deep down in her heart, she enjoyed looking at the mirror and seeing Seedy there, seeing she was no longer alone. She loved getting curious stares from loving women and strange couples, who focused on her belly and smiled timidly like Lena had won the greatest gift in the world. And Lena knew that she was sure of it. Seedy was most definitely her greatest gift, even if she couldn’t accept it.

 

***

 

“Well everyone, that is it for today, I hope you all enjoyed it” Zara finished another class and all the couples got up “don’t forget we have snacks by the garden, I’ve prepared special treats for our mommies!” She spoke lively.

“Oh, goddamn it” Ramona complained, massaging her thighs “dear, take my bag, please” she pointed to the bag and he promptly carried it.

“Are you in pain?” Lena asked, concerned, while Julie took a sleepy Ezra out of the stroller.

“Not exactly” she sighed “it’s the kicking”

“They’re… they’re moving?” Lena frowned “Christ, that must be… bizarre.”
“I’m not going to lie, at first it felt like there was a giant worm inside of me trying to get out” Ramona confessed and Julia laughed out loud at the description “but now I count the time for the next kick,” she noticed the curiosity on the Luthor’s face “c’mon, give me your hand.”

“No thanks.” she backed out.

“Stop being afraid” Julie stood next to her and Lena studied the boy’s wrinkled face over his mom’s shoulder. Ezra had just completed one year of life. “you’ll miss it when it’s over.”

“Feel it right here” Ramona took Lena’s wrist and placed her hand on the lower part of her womb “it’s starting to get crowded in there, but…” suddenly, Lena’s eyes widened and she stared at the colleague “did you feel it? And…again!?

“Oh, God…” Lena got closer and slowly traced the skin she was touching. She was fascinated and entirely charmed by the feeling “this is... fuck!” she blinked continuously, feeling the urge to cry “fucking hell…”

“Don’t worry, no one here is going to judge you” Julie laughed and stroked and shoulder

“Except miss perfect over there” Ramona whispered while they walked toward the garden “I heard she’s one of yours” she poked Lena.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lena frowned and served herself with some sweets.

“Lesbian, she means she’s a lesbian” Julie answered letting Lena lost in her thoughts. So Emily was gay? That was interesting and explained a lot “hold him for me, real quick” Julie held the boy to the CEO who got away quickly and terrified.

“No, no, no” Lena was more than nervous “no, I’ve never held a baby in my life, no.”

“C’mon, it’s quick and you’re going to have to hold one for the rest of your life” Julie shot back and passed Ezra to her.

Lena froze and her whole body tensed with despair. She held the little boy and if he was a heavy strange box, keeping him distant from herself, fat cute little legs in the air. Her eyes still stared at the pink cheeks, seeing him stared back at her, confused. Suddenly, Ezra put his little hands up and held her cheeks, smiling cheerfully, and showing his growing teeth. He petted her face, tracing her nose, and then those big brown eyes met her green ones.

And her heart melted instantly.

Awkwardly, Lena placed the boy's legs as if he was straddling her hips and stopped to admire every little detail on that baby. She had never interacted with a child before, much less a baby, and all those experiences she had been having were breaking her emotional walls down, they were shattering little by little inside her chest and causing a huge mess. Soon Lena began to wonder what Seedy would look like if she would have blond perfect hair like Supergirl or darker shades like hers if she would make her smile or the hero’s blue eyes, or even if she would ever ask Lens to kiss a bruise better. It felt like a dream, a beautiful, extraordinary dream.

“Did you like that?” Lena asked, seeing Ezra play with her simple necklace.

“Yeh yeh,” he asked.

“I’m sorry, love” she smiled tenderly “I’m afraid it’s dangerous for you.”

“Boo-boo?”

“That’s right” she kissed his fat cheeks “boo-boo.”

“See? It’s not that scary” Ramona commented, watching the scene with a smile “he might not be one of your robots but at least he’s cute, right? Isn’t that right? Hm?” she tickled the baby’s belly, making him laugh.

“You look pretty with one of those with you” Julia complimented, studying the scene with a smile “but I think you’re more of a girl’s mom kind of person.”

“He is so soft and smells so good” Lena whispered, still charmed by the boy “what do you mean girl’s mom?”

“I don’t know” Julie shrugged “changing the subject, you’re almost on the fourth month, soon you’ll know the sex!

“Yeah, I have a consultation next week” she explained, still holding the boy, who was still sleepy from his nap “I had to postpone it because Kara doesn’t like to miss ultrasounds” Lena smiled as she said her friend’s name.

God, she missed her so much it made her heartache. She couldn’t wait to see her again and feel the heat of her arms around her.

“Look how in love she is” Ramona teased and laughed as she saw the red blush cripple in the CEO’s face “if it’s a girl, do you already have a name?”

“Please, no double names” Julie gave her opinion “can you imagine the pain of teaching them to write their names?”

“But have you searched for names, yet? I’m sure you and your wife have at least discussed it” Ramona sighed “I and my husband have decided he gets to pick one and I pick the other one, so that way it’s fair.”

“I do, actually” she confessed for the first time. Lena never thought that moment would come when she would admit that yes, she had been thinking about names, about room decorations for babies, and even about changing her office to another room so Seedy’s room could be closer to hers.

Damn it, Lena complained internally, why did she have to be so weak? Why did she have to give in to that warm, comfortable feeling in her chest?

“And what is it?” they both asked, curious.

“Well,” Lena laughed uncomfortably “some years ago I looked my birth mother up but didn’t find much. I just know that her name was Elizabeth and so, if it is a girl, I’m going to name her Lizzie” she sighed, trying to hold back tears “in… in her memory.”

“That is wonderful, Lena” Julie stroked her shoulder again and smiled tenderly, understanding it was a painful subject for her. In reality, no one knew she was adopted except her family, and Kara, of course.

Who, while this endless mess kept going, was her wife apparently.

“I heard everyone in your family has a name that starts with an L” Ramona commented, “are you going to follow this tradition?”

“I still… what is he doing?” Lena asked, watching Ezra his position in her lap, laying down and touching his small face to her breasts.

“Ezra is hungry” Julie took him off her lap and gave him the breast “he smelt your milk” okay, that was new and bizarre.

She had milk?

“I think you need a change of clothes” Ramona pointed to Lena’s shirt, now stained around her nipples. Lena felt her face burn with shame and fear. That had never happened before. She tried to cover it with her hands and frowned, those wet balls over her breasts were completely visible for everyone “hey, don’t be like that. It’s completely normal and it will only become more frequent.”

“What do you say we go shopping, huh?” Julie asked, excited, making little Ezra grumble “I need new clothes and accessories for the new room, besides I’m expecting my first girl and I do want to be those doting moms.”

“I’m in, I’m running low on my diaper storage” both women turned to Lena, who had her arms crossed in front of the shirt feeling terribly uncomfortable “and you, have you started preparing for the arrival of...what was the name again?”

“Seedy” Julie answered for her “which is an… uncommon nickname.”

“Kara chose it” Lena murmured, “and I haven’t… er, bought...anything.”
“Oh, Christ, Lena!” Julie took Ezra off her breast and placed him over her shoulder, waiting for him to hiccup and go back to his nap “we have an emergency then!”

“No, I…”

“Don’t worry, Lena” Ramona intertwined their arms “we got you.”

Unable to deny or at least escape that situation, the CEO found herself being carried by the two women towards one of the biggest stores for babies and pregnancies. After all, how could she explain she wasn’t keeping the child? And that she wasn’t married to her best friend? And she had no clue what she was doing? Well, at the moment there weren't any solutions, therefore she had no choice. Julie left Ezra with his father and Ramona told her husband she would be home by dinner. Something Lena was extremely jealous of, seeing she had no one to tell or go back home to.

Suddenly, Lena smiled. Yes, there was someone for her to go back home to. Someone with four legs, furry ears, caramel fur, and contagious joy. She might not be a person, but she was family. Her little family; and for now that was enough.

She called the driver, listening to her two new ‘friends’ gossip excitedly, praising Lena for the achievements they read about in a CatCo article. Of course, they complimented Kara too, responsible for all those well-written and structured articles. They both agreed they made the perfect couple and certainly Kara loved her wife a lot, for always writing the best and greatest words about the CEO and L-Corp. And what could Lena say? It was true. Kara really earned the reporter title and was always glad to know she had helped Lena, even if indirectly, catalyzing her decision to stay and fight for her career. However, Kara wasn’t her wife, much less her girlfriend.

On the way to the store, while the two women talked, Lena stared out the window and caressed her belly with a shy smile. She didn’t intend to buy anything and didn’t want to create an illusion of building a room for a child that wasn’t going to be hers. Still, Lena couldn’t wait to feel the first kicks or to find out the baby’s gender. Would it be a girl? Could she be named Lizzie or would it be little Liam? God, her heart raced when she thought those moments would happen soon. And it made her blue because she wasn’t going to a mom. Luthors didn’t have that capacity and therefore that sacrifice was necessary.

Her phone vibrated, pulling Lena out of the thought whirlwind.

A: Hey, are you busy tomorrow morning?

L: Good afternoon, Alex.

L: At what time?

A: Oh yeah, I forgot you own a multimillionaire empire and I have to schedule an hour earlier.
L: Well, my name is in that building so it’s hard to miss.

L: I thought you could read.

A: I just prefer to read interesting things that give some kind of useful knowledge.

A: Nothing personal.

L: What do you wish from me, agent Danvers? You know I’m not used to being the other woman.

A: Oh, that’s a shame.

A: Because I have a very platonic crush for powerful women with dark hair and green eyes.

L: Sorry, you won't be reciprocated this time.

L: You’re not my type.

A: Badass and pretty redheads?

L: No.

L: Nosy redheads with a terrible sense of humor.

A: You almost offended me.

A: I know what your type is.

L: Oh, now I’m curious, agent Danvers.

A: Blond women with blue eyes that wear glasses and work as a reporter for CatCo.

Okay. Lena did not see that coming and didn’t know what to answer. She could almost hear Alex’s laughter from across the city.

A: I know you have a thing for the Danvers, Luthor.

A: Meet me at 7 am at Noonan’s.

 

***

 

That megastore looked like the perfect place for Lena to go bankrupt in a matter of seconds and what comforted her was the knowledge she could buy three - or more - places like that. Ramona and Julie had a clear goal, unlike the CEO, who although was always very focused and calculated every step, now seemed lost. The hallways went through clothing and mobilia items, distributed in two huge floors. Everything was so colorful, bright, and completely inviting. It was like a mother’s paradise, she thought.

And what the hell was she doing there if she wasn’t even going to a mom?

Ramona found a shopping cart for them to share and Julie held the Luthor’s arm, smiling childishly and showing her a piece of paper. Lena arched a brow and was apprehensive, she knew that was probably something she wouldn’t like.

“I took the liberty of making a small list for you in the car” she spoke excitedly “since I already had a baby, I’m more used to this.”

“Julie is going to show you how not to get lost in this place, it’s important” Ramona winked and Lena nodded quietly, still feeling lost and trying to process all that information.

“Rule number one: don’t buy too many clothes and shoes, newborns don’t need a lot” she explained “they also grow really fast so it's better to buy little by little. Rule number two: you're going to need so many, so many diapers, and wet wipes and cream for burns. This is what you have to focus on” the trio walked through the diaper aisle and stopped before a mountain of packages.

“There are three good diaper brands,” Ramona said and took the packages in her hand “I particularly like this one” she showed the green and white package “I’ve heard good things about this one, but this one is also a strong contestant” she raised the red package.

“I think…I’ll take the first one?” Lena spoke uncertainly. her heart was racing a marathon and her hands were covered in a cold sweat. What had her life become?

“Good choice, girl!” Julie celebrated and put another ten packages on the cart, separating the CEO’s place on it “creams for burns are all pretty much the same, you can always go for the cheapest and for wet wipes I suggest you buy the odorless and specifically for newborns.”

“Also the baby might develop an allergy so you should take some for testing” Ramona finished the sentence. The cart only got fuller and fuller as they walked the store.

“And if my baby has an allergy? What should I do?” Lena asked curiously, picking some soaps, shampoos, and a body lotion. She didn’t even know what it was for but she was not going to complain. Everything there smelled so good.

“You’ll have to clean him with a tissue diaper or you can choose cotton” Julie answered and put five packaged of cotton in the cart.
“Now, to the kitchen aisle” Ramone guided them to the left side “do you intend to breastfeed Seedy?”

“Of course!” Lena answered faster than she should have and frowned. What the hell,
Lena? She thought to herself, you’re not even keeping this baby!

“Don’t give up on the first time, okay?” Julie studied a few baby bottles and pacifiers “In doubt, always have one of these at home. I’ll be true, breastfeeding on the first days might bother you and it might hurt as well, but don’t give up.”

“Do you have any favorite colors? Not that it matters, I think this blue is boy and girl is pink is bullshit, they don’t even know the colors” Ramona grumbled, “what is your wife’s favorite color?”

Wife. She took a deep breath. Kara was still her wife.

Fuck.

“Blue and red” Lena sighed “actually, any color looks perfect on her,” she confessed, making the others laugh.

“Well, we have red and white” she pointed to the shelf. Lena analyzed each one at a time and picked a baby blue with small white balls, all the pacifiers she chose were also blue.

Blue like Kara’s eyes, she thought.

“Clothing section” Julie pointed to the next hallway and on the way there the three of them grabbed more things, even if unnecessary. At least they were cute

The clothing section was insane, definitely insane. Now Lena understood what Julie meant with ‘don’t get too many clothes’ because she wanted to take the whole hallway home and never get rid of anything. On that thought, Lena wondered if mothers had that habit of keeping their children’s clothes even if they were all grown up. Well, if they didn’t, it didn’t matter. She could never throw those cute flowery dresses or blue rompers with a sailor’s drawing away. And just like that, they had to get another shopping cart, so the three of them could carry home almost a whole brand new wardrobe.

Even with her brain telling her to not get too excited, not to put too much effort, Lena’s heart felt warm in her chest, approving that unique moment of her life. When else would she have the courage to buy all those things? When would she imagine she would have two unexpected friends to guide her through this moment and help her process of acceptance? Fine, they didn’t know about the real condition that the child was imposed on, but now it didn’t seem to matter so much. Lena was plain conscious of what was happening there, though she didn’t know what she was doing. Although she wouldn’t say it out loud, although she was scared to think about her feelings, she loved that baby.

Lena loved that baby unconditionally.

The three of them drifted apart through lines of hangers, each one looking for what pleased them the most. Lena didn’t know her baby’s gender but that wasn’t important. One by one, she selected a color palette that matched each other, all in soft, tasteful tones that reminded her of herself and of Kara. As she walked back to the shopping cart, Lena felt a bump on her legs and heard a thud. She looked down and found a little girl with blond hair put back in two braids.

“Hello” Lena quickly got down and helped her get up, getting down on one knee to check for bruises “are you okay? are you hurt?”

“No” the girl smiled, fixing the yellow dress she was wearing “oh…you have a baby inside you?” Lena laughed with the girl's bluntness.

“Yes, I do” she answered tenderly “what is your name?”

“Anna” her brown curious eyes still stared at the Luthors stomach “and I am five” she put one hand up “that’s all the fingers here!”

“That’s right, Anna” Lena congratulated “you’re a smart girl.”

“My mom also has a baby inside her belly, you know” she commented “can I touch it?” she pointed to Lena.

“Yeah, put your hands here” Lena held the girl’s hands between hers and placed them on her belly “it’s still little so you can’t feel it yet.”

“It’s warm” Anna giggled “did you swallow it? How did it end up there? Isn’t it the stork that brings babies?” she shot Lena with questions that the poor woman didn’t know how to answer.

How do you explain these things to kids? She thought. Actually, she didn’t want to know. If she ever had to explain to Seedy how she was made, Lena would rather make a completely different story up. Because, biologically, two women can’t impregnate each other - unfortunately - and she could never make sense of what Rhea had done that started this whole mess.

“Anna! Where are you, dear?” Lena heard a voice call from across the hallway.

“Oops! That’s my mom” Anna frowned “bye, miss!” she gave her a noisy peck on the cheek and ran off, leaving Lena alone, knelt on the ground, and with a warm feeling on her face. She had never gained affection so… easily.

“How do you do that?” Ramona asked, approaching her with Julie.

“Do what?” Lena asked back, getting up.

“Make kids fall in love with you” Julie explained “you’re going to be a wonderful mother, Lena. I’m sure of it.”

And once again, the CEO felt the urge to cry, because she had never thought someone would tell her those words with so much certainty.

She was going to be a wonderful mother.

 

***

 

Noonan’s was a well-known cafeteria for Lena, after all, Kara loved their waffles. So, she usually would run there, buy an honorable breakfast like the young Danvers deserved and send someone to deliver at her home since her best friend usually woke up a few hours after Lena would arrive at L-Corp. And Kara didn’t get up that late, Lena was the one that woke up too early, preferring to arrive at the company before everyone, so she could organize her paperwork and revisit that week’s schedule before her day began.

As she walked in the place, Lena soon saw a tall redhead on the other side, sitting on a table by the window. Her body would always get chills and trepidation for being there accompanied by the older Danvers. Not that she was afraid, no. What she felt was different. Alex was intimidating, yes, but not enough to make the Luthor scared and she was too sarcastic, however, Lena could also act like that. At the end of the day, they came to the realization, little by little, that they were very similar, more than it pleased them. But, to what point could they trust each other. Could Lena consider them friends?

God, she had so many questions, so many doubts, and still, she agreed to come and have breakfast with the agent.

Lena sat in front of her, putting her purse beside her, and noticed how Alex was a mess, exhausted. Her eyes had a weird red color and circling it, dark and deep tones were visible. Her hair was messy and her shirt was rumpled. Lena had never seen someone look so down as if a hurricane had gone through them. Apparently, someone had bigger issues than her.

“I thought you weren’t coming anymore” Alex grumbled.

“I’m a woman of my words, Danvers” Lena answered fast, studying the huge water bottle the other woman was carrying “so, what do I own this unexpected invitation?”

“I just wanted to check on you” she shrugged because that was the truth.

“Oh, so you do have a heart!” Lena teased and they both laughed “I’m fine, in fact, you’re the one who looks like you had some rough days.”

“You can say that” she drank from the bottle continuously “Kara asked me to tell you she’ll be back by the weekend and is excited to know Seedy’s gender.”

“Of course” Lena rolled her eyes “I’m going to lose my best friend for a baby.”

“Jealous much?”

“Luthors don’t feel jealousy.”

“Kara is seeing this new guy from CatCo,” Alex said and Lena choked on the coffee she was having.

“Wh-what?” she blinked five times, trying to process the information. To then realize, it was a lie and Alex was laughing out loud “you’re a monster.”

“Just trying to prove a fact, Luthor” Alex winked, teasingly “I’m a scientist, just like you.”

“And to what thesis did your hypothesis come to, agent Danvers?” Lena smirked and crossed her arms.

“That Luthors do feel jealousy.” Lena rolled her eyes and saw Alex drink another big gulp of water. Something was odd about the smell coming from that bottle, it was stronger and more intense.

“Okay,” Lena smiled, “my turn to prove a point.”

“Go on.”

“Your eyes are red and you’re more tired” she pointed to Alex’s face, who tensed her jaw “your hands shake when you raise this bottle and I bet my job at L-Corp that this is not water.”

Alex didn’t know what to answer. Her breath was out of pace and she was ready to give a rude answer as she did to many of her worried friends.

“You can tell me whatever excuse or ironic answer you want to, you don’t scare me” Lena continued “I’m only leaving here when you tell me what is going on.”

“Maggie and I broke up.”

Chapter Text

Breakups happen every day, every hour. People come and go, they say goodbye, get hurt or simply realize it is better to part different ways. Sometimes there is misunderstanding, discussions, fights, and some other times, you just know it is time to leave. When there are still feelings, your heart prays daily that in the future, maybe, you might meet that person again, more mature, more patient. To break up is never an easy decision, however, fucked the relationship is, it’s never the less painful way out.

Day to day, the couple learns how to love each other, respect each other, and cherish one another. Well, at least the ones in healthy relationships. You get used to waking up and getting a good morning text or turning around in bed to find that resting face that you love. Then there is breakfast together, the walks in the park, the morning kisses, the ‘I miss you’ even though it’s only been a few hours since you saw them and the I love you’s that come in the shape of ‘take care’, ‘did you eat?’ or ‘call me when you get home’.

Breakups are never easy. They never will be.

The relationship might be abusive, might be whatever drug you choose to call it, but when it ends it will still hurt and leave you empty. It may be from loving that person too much, from knowing that, before anything, you were friends and promised each other not to harm their friendship in the first place. And then it all ends. Lena knew too much about goodbyes, about losing people she loved, about being left behind, about loving and not being loved back, about giving herself so much it hurts, she knew the pain of being alone. Completely alone.

Jack had been that person for Lena, she thought they were going to be together forever, maybe get married someday - not that Lena was a firm believer of traditional ceremonies and commitments but it crossed her mind once in a while - and they were going to do science together like they always did. But it didn’t and Sphere made her choose. An unfair, complex choice. Jack had been terribly selfish and he had plain consciousness that a Luthor would never give up her hope and goals for a man. As much as she liked him and wanted him as a boyfriend, Lena was taught since she was a little girl to be focused and not mix work and emotions, her company needed her. And for that, Lena left.

But, however painful and exhaustive the healing process was, Lena survived. There wasn’t anyone there to console her, to give her advice, and to tell her it was going to be okay. Although Lena knew that, even if there was someone for her, she would just push them away, thinking she was Luthor and Luthors couldn’t afford to be weak around other people. No, she would never be weak around anyone. But, once again, Lena was surprised by fate. When she met Kara, all her heart felt as if it was exposed - because it wanted to be - so that Kara could know its entirety. And she ended up telling her about Jack. And, even though Lena thought there might have been hope for them again, she chose to leave him to save the city’s hero.

Lena couldn’t let Supergirl die, would be social suicide. The judgment would drown her. Another Luthor that killed a Super, even though she hadn’t done anything. Besides, her conscience would never let her live in peace knowing Lena could have done something, so she made a choice.

Choices also aren’t easy.

Well, what was she going to do now? The CEO had never consoled someone, she wasn’t good with words, especially ones filled with emotions. Alex was there, in front of her, red tired eyes, shaking hands, and a water bottle full of booze. How could she tell the agent she was drowning in something that wasn’t worth dying for? That, though she loved the detective, it wasn’t worth losing yourself for someone that wasn’t going to look for you. Lena took a deep breath. That wasn’t any woman, it was her best friends’ sister. She had to take action because it was most likely that Kara was unaware of Alex’s state. If there was something that Lena knew about Alex was that she was great at lying and hiding her real emotions, just like herself.

“One moment,” Lena said and took her phone, typing quickly “Jess, transfer the nine o’clock meeting to after lunch. Okay, thank you.”

“What are you doing?” Alex frowned, seeing the other woman take money from her wallet and leaving it on the table “what do you think you’re doing?”

“Preventing you from hurting yourself even more,” Lena said sharply, getting up with her purse in hand “c’mon, tell me where you live.”

“I’m not going with you” Alex retorted “I don’t need a babysitter, much less your pity.” Lena rolled her eyes. Why were Danvers people so complicated?

“I’m not repeating it, and I’ll advise you to not argue with me” she crossed her arms “now get up, get your things and tell me where you live.”

“How old do you think I am? As far as I know, you’re not my mom, you don’t even want to be one” the redhead knew that was low and she was going to regret that sentence later but she was so tired of being treated as a child.

“No, I’m not you mother because if I was, I would have acted like one already” her voice was strong “so behave like the adult I know you are and shut the fuck up!” Lena sighed “and give me this!” she took the bottle from her hands.

They walked out of the cafeteria, receiving some weird stares from other customers, and headed to Alex’s car, parked on the other side of the street. The Luthor entered the driver’s seat and searched for the GPS, knowing it would have the directions for the redhead’s house. Alex got in on the other side, still, silent concentrating on deep breaths and trying not to cry, she was not going to fall apart there, next to the most unlike friend she had ever had. They let the silence take them, letting the traffic noises flood the ambient. Lena thought of what she was going to do, what she was going to say because she was sure every minute that passed the agent only got more frightened and aloof.

The building was simple, with a flowery decorated hallway in shades of orange and red, giving it a warm, homey feeling. Alex guided them to the elevator, still choosing silence they reached the fifth floor. Her inner self was screaming for help, but she was afraid and knew it wasn’t right. To what point would she hurt herself? To what point was she going to let this lonely feeling of abandonment eat her alive? Maggie chose to leave without even putting up a fight to stay or try to change the situation they had found themselves in. Alex never thought her engagement would go down that way, her heart was dilacerated and breathing had become a hard task. The same way living had become automatic.

“Christ, what a mess…” Lena murmured walking into the living room, immediately noticing the glass bottles on the table and around the floor.

“I wasn’t expecting visits” Alex answered sarcastically.

“The health surveillance would love to show up here,” Lena said back, leaving her purse on the kitchen’s balcony, observing the sink full of dishes “right. You go take a shower and only come back when you’re at least presentable. Wash your hair, brush your teeth, don’t make me drag you to the bathroom.”

“Why are you doing this?” Alex crossed her arms, regaining the intimidating posture “you want extra points with my sister? You want to prove to her you’re taking care of me?”

“I don’t need to prove anything as far as I remember, Kara believed in me when everyone else said I was just another Luthor, including you” she smiled cynically “so can you just accept that we’re friends? It will hurt less.”

“You’re unbearable" Alex sighed “I don’t know how Kara puts up with you.”

“Thank you, you’re a wonderful company too” Lena rolled her eyes “uncross those arms and go take a shower, you look disgusting.”

“If you break anything, I’ll break your face” she pointed, trying to sound aggressive

“I’d like to see you try.” Lena smiled back.

Alex disappeared through the hallway and soon Lena heard the familiar sound of water falling. She stepped off her high heels, leaving them by the door, Lena rolled her sleeves and inhaled deeply. That apartment was a mess, she never thought someone so methodical and organized as Alex would let this come to this point. Lena didn’t judge her for it, she knew how devastating an emotional breakdown could be. While the redhead cleaned herself, the CEO took all the bottles scattered across the room and threw them out. She fixed the sofas, cleaned the dust out of the pillows, and did her best to tide that living room. Going back to the kitchen, she began to wash the horrendous pile of dirty dishes and threw away every rotten food from the fridge.

 

“See how taking care of grown-ups is hard as well?” Lena dried her hands, talking to her belly “one thing you’re going to learn, Seedy, is that you always have to help your friends, even if you feel like hitting them sometimes” she laughed to herself and her stomach roared, making Lena suspire “are we hungry again?” she searched the fridge, wondering what would be easy and fast to prepare, sure that Alex was starving too “promise me something” she whispered, looking at her belly, starting to show underneath her skirt “anytime you’re feeling down or afraid, ask for help, okay? It’s not a bad thing to ask for help and you don’t need to be alone” Lena smiled “you’re not alone” she traced her fingers on the tissue and felt an amazing heat radiate through her body “mommy is here…”

“Lena?”

“Fuck, Alex!” Lena trembled putting her hand over her chest

“Did I ruin your Mama Bear moment?” she smirked “better?” she turned around to show the clean clothes and wet hair.

“Much better, now you look more like the annoying redhead that I know” Lena smiled back “sit down, I’m going to make us something to eat.”

“Are you trying to conquer me through my stomach?” she frowned “I didn’t even know you could cook, Luthor.”

“I can do a lot of things, but cooking isn’t one of those” she confessed “I know enough not to starve” Lena turned her eyes to Alex, taking a deep breath and choosing carefully her next words “do you want to tell me what happened?” she asked softly “you don’t have to if you don’t…”

“It’s not a bad thing to ask for help, right?”

“Shit, you were listening?” Lena grumbled, making Alex snort.

“It’s okay, Lena” she sighed “and you’re right, but don’t get used to it. I’m not going to keep stroking your ego forever.”

“Okay, I won’t” she raised her hand in defeat and smiled. Grabbing two plates from the cupboard and placing them on the balcony, alongside some eggs, toast, jelly, and a peach juice she had found earlier “and about what you heard…”

“Don’t worry about it” Alex smiled in understanding “I think the way you’re allowing yourself to feel this pregnancy is amazing, and about what I said earlier…” she coughed nervously “I didn’t mean I don’t want to be a mom or insinuate anything, it’s all a bit complicated and all this rage pent up inside me sometimes escaped towards people who care about me. I think and am sure that you would be a wonderful mother.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t take it personal” Lena was sincere. Alex would never hurt her like that, it wasn’t like her, just like it wasn’t like Kara “so?”

So the redhead told her everything that was buried in her heart, consuming her soul silently. She talked about the way it hurt her to see Maggie give up on their wedding, how it pained her to have to give up on the woman she loved because she didn’t want to renounce her dream of becoming a mother, she talked about the way she cried through endless nights and how much she drank, trying to ignore her feelings and the way she was missing Maggie by her side, in her bed, in her life. She told her about the dreams they dreamt together, their plans for the future, the most stupid details about the ceremony, remembering how stubborn the detective could be sometimes and how much she had insisted for it to be a memorable party.

However, Lena saw Alex’s eyes die a little when she described what it was like to separate the wedding gifts, to call the manager and tell him to cancel it, and, most of all, how hard it was to call all the guests and tell them it was off. The Luthor had been invited, of course, in fact, she was going as Kara’s ‘date’. It was always like that, they were partners. It was hard to process the breakup, especially when it seemed so abrupt. Maggie didn’t want to be a mother while Alex had dreamt of it her whole life. How could life be so ironic? Analyzing it, Lena realized she never wanted to be a mother either, not because she wasn’t fond of children, but because she didn’t have enough knowledge on motherhood to follow as an example.

And there, in front of her, a woman was begging to become a mother. Someone who had to give up on something so big as love so she could pursue her dream. Suddenly, Lena’s hands moved to her belly, stroking it lightly and trying to run away from that feeling she got, that maybe she didn’t deserve to be pregnant. Alex deserved it, she was the one who had the right to enjoy the nine months, waiting for that someone to love her unconditionally, It was funny to imagine how things would be fixed if they could just change places. Life truly was a bitch.

“I can’t say I understand the situation, but I know how terrifying it can be to now be in control” Lena spoke after Alex finished the story “and I’m going to say this again: to destroy yourself, it’s not worth it. Because there’s no alcohol in the world that can make this pain stop or make the wound heal. Yes, it will alleviate everything because you’ll be feeling nothing, but when you sober up, things will be three times heavier in your chest.”

“I don’t know what to do…” Alex sighed in defeat “I don’t know how to move on from this.”

“The first step is to ask for help and I’m willing to help you if you want me to” she smiled “that’s what friends are for.”

“For fuck’s sake Lena not that sentence” Alex grumbled, hiding her face under her hand “anyway, I don’t want to mess up your routine or become a burden to you.”

“You won’t be, this change depends only on how much you want it and I can do nothing if you won’t cooperate” Lena explained calmly “I’ll be by your side and listen to you whenever you want, but you have got to escape this vice.”

“And what if I can’t?”

“You’ll only know if you try” Lena reached for her hand, feeling its warmth “I have to go, have to prepare myself for a meeting in the afternoon” she got up from the balcony and cleaned the table, putting the leftover on the fridge “anything thing you need, call me or text. I may take a while to answer but I will. The walked slowly towards the front door and Lena put her shoes again “try to get some sleep, it will do you good.”

“Lena” Alex held her arm before she could leave and took a deep breath.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

 

***

 

Saturdays could be a synonym for rest, for animation for the weekend, or even for an excuse to get wasted. But not for Lena Luthor. Who never learned what rest or spending time inside the house doing nothing meant. Usually, all her days were about work and more work, piles, and piles of paper on her desk, documents to sign. Either on the company or in her office, the CEO was always busy. Therefore her excitements came from new projects she was financing or brand new ideas for the L-Corp laboratories. She missed being a scientist, to spend nights awake making texts and experiments. In resume, there was no rest, animation, or excuse to get wasted.

After all, she was pregnant. And more importantly, her Seedy simply despised the smell of alcohol.

Lena’s morning now came down to feeling her feet hurt from spending the Friday walking from room to room, writing annotations about her new curiosity with Agnes laying of her legs. She never thought she would come to the point to learn Kryptonian online, wearing a sweatshirt, hearing the rain fall outside, and devouring her third ice cream bowl. Autumn’s cold was already giving a taste of what winter would feel like, the thin rain continued non-stop and orangely brown leaves were scattered all around town. Soon November would come. Though she knew it was freezing outside, Lena felt extremely hot. It was like there was a heater inside her body, and, as she touched her belly, she knew why.

“We are in plain autumn and you’re making me eat ice cream” Lena murmured to herself, or better, to Seedy “not that I’m complaining, as long as you don’t make me have those weird desires I’m glad to eat whatever you want” Lena pulled her shirt up, touching her hot skin directly “four months together, hm? There’s still five ahead of us but I wanted to tell you that.... that I like having you here with me. However scary and despairing it has been… we’re in this together” Agnes raised her head quickly, interrupting Lena. “Agnes, has anyone arrived?” the puppy jumped out of the sofa and ran to the door, barking repeatedly “hey! It’s okay! Calm down!” Lena unlocked the door and her heart almost stopped when she found who was on the other side.

A blonde woman, wearing the glasses Len knew so well, a blue sweater and dark jeans. Carrying the most amazing smile on her face and the smell coming from the packages she was carrying made her stomach roar ou loud.

“Kara!” Lena exclaimed surprised. When had she arrived home?

“Surprise!” Kara blushed and was soon attacked by an excited dog “hey, Agnes!”

“Let me get this” she took the packages and Kara knelt to say hi to Agnes.

“You’re feeling better, hm? You smell so good and I love your new leash” Kara spoke with a high voice a let the puppy lick her face “do you like your new home?” You do, I know you do” she smiled as she caught the Luthor’s eyes gazing at her “I think there are two very jealous people here” Kara whispered to Agnes, making the other woman laugh.

“I used to be your favorite” Lena complained jokingly and soon all tension in her body dissipated as she felt the strong, firm arms of her friend around her.

“You two are my favorites” Kara murmured, letting the smell of the dark hair flood her lungs “I missed you.”

“I missed you too” Lena confessed and her stomach complained again “this is Seedy telling you she’s hungry.”

 

“Or maybe she’s telling me she missed me too” kara smiled childishly and moved her hands down to Lena’s belly, getting down to face it directly “I missed you too, I hope you behaved yourself and got your mother to eat.”

“Hey!” Lena crossed her arms, but she was in no condition to protest further. Kara was there, caressing her skin with such tenderness and affection that she felt like crying again. Fucking hell.

When was this hormonal nightmare going to end?

“I brought you presents!” Kara jumped up and her stomach roared as well “but can we eat first?”

“Of course!” Lena smiled and they headed for the kitchen, sitting on the table by the oven “how was the trip?”

“Insane, but I had a good time,” Kara said truthfully “but I’m glad to be back” Lena put the drinks on the table while Kara unpackaged the food.

“God!” Lena moaned, tasting the potstickers melt in her mouth “I could orgasm just from eating this” Kara blushed hard and tried to think about anything but that information “I was almost exploding with desire.”

“Well, good thing I showed up,” Kara said proudly.

“My hero” she still had her mouth full, which failed to make the situation sexy, going towards funny and adorable “what gifts did you bring?”

“Ah!” Kara ran to the sofa and grabbed the bag she had threw there “maybe I got too excited and… well, I didn’t know what to buy you and didn’t want to upset you, but I also didn’t want to come home with empty hands, because everything there kept reminding me of you and… er, I just…”

“Deep breaths, dear” Lena smiled “show me what you’ve got.”

Damn it, Kara thought, she calls me dear and asks me to take deep breaths?

“Uh, okay” she nodded, taking some plastic bags and placing them over the balcony “this one is for us to use at the next class” Kara laughed embarrassed while Lena took the shirt, a soft pink shirt with a sentence that read: ‘eating for two’.

She smiled, emotional and as she took the other shirt, a loud snort echoed through the apartment, making Agnes lift an ear, confuse. The tissue was soft yellow and in it said: ‘eating for five’ and underneath in: ‘ps: I’m not pregnant’. Why did this match them so much? Lena thought silently. Why couldn’t they be like those couples who wore matching clothes and go out to walk holding hands in the park? It was a cliche, she knew that. However, she was so sentimental, so stupidly full of hormones that all that Lena wanted was to live a romantic cliche. Where everything went wrong at first but it turned out for the better and they would live happily ever after.

“It’s us,” Lena said, trying not to cry. Again.

“Take a look at these” Kara pointed at two matching black shirts and a small white overall, “this one says ‘player 1’, which is you, and this one ‘player 2’ it’s me” then the Luthor held the overall, thinking it so small and fragile

“Player 3 had entered the game” Lena read out loud, feeling her eyes tear up.

“And that’s Seedy” Kara continued “Winn helped me pick it up, he told me it was very nerdy and that it reminded you.”

“Winn?” Kara nodded yes “I love it.”

“And I bought this one” she showed another overall, a light green that said ‘my older sister barks’, which made Lena laugh “and of course, Agnes, don’t you think I forgot about you” Kara grabbed the smaller package “I brought some treats, and they smell so good that even I was curious.”

“Ew, that’s disgusting” Lena frowned, as Kara laughed.

“Anyway, I brought one of each flavor because I didn’t know which one was best and I was not going to taste it” she enhanced the no looking at Lena “and I also got this little flannel to attach to your leash” Kara got up and kneel before the puppy. Lena noticed that it was a light tissue, with some flowers in it, on the center, the L-Corp logo. The same one that was outside its building “now Lena Luthor has a new hero.”

And that was when it got too much. Quickly, Lena buried her face in her hands and sobbed, feeling stupid for crying. She didn’t know if the emotional discharge was completely related to the pregnancy, well, of course, it had something to do with it, but Lena also knew she was also crying for everything she never dared to cry about before. Kara was there, being tender, helpful, an amazing friend, and Lena didn’t even have words to thank her.

“Hey, did I say anything wrong?” the blonde got up fast and stroked her friend’s shoulder “was… was it something I did? I’m sorry if…”

“No, Kara, of course not” she tried to take a deep breath “it’s just this fuc…”

“No bad words” Kara raised her hand in a serious tone.

“Freaking… I was going to say freaking” Lena rolled her eyes, making her friend laugh “I’m fine, I’m just emotionally overwhelmed.”

“I know, but her… we have an ultrasound today!” she smiled largely “so let’s finish eating and while you get ready, I’ll clean the kitchen.”

“You’re lucky I could reschedule it for a Saturday,” Lena said with her mouth full again.

“Perks of being a Luthor?” Kata teased “c’mon, mama bear, let’s finish eating.”

“I have something to show you before we leave” she confessed, waiting for what reaction she was going to get.

“Really? What is it?” Kara smiled excitedly.

“First things first, you have to promise me you won’t get too excited or anything like that” Lena said “I still have processed what I did and don’t really want to think about it now. I just wanted to…” she sighed. What was she trying to do? “I just wanted to share it with you…”

“I’m curious,” Kara said, fixing her glasses. Lena got up and guided them down the corridor. The second to last room was where she used to keep her belongings from college, books, and boxes of her old things from Metropolis. Things she didn’t dare to let go of.

As she opened the door, Lena could face it all again, all the diapers, baby bottles, little clothes, and shoes she had bought in her last adventure. Everything was carefully separated and placed on small white iron boxes, covered so nothing would get dusty or exposed to sunlight. Her breathing failed and Lena looked to her side, where Kara stood still, silently shocked. The young Danvers walked into the room and traced everything with her fingertips. She observed each detail on every shirt, overall, and even the baby bottle’s color. She smiled and she found the bathing lotions, which smelled sweet and soft, like the diapers.

“You…”

“Please don’t…” Lena sighed “say anything.”

“Okay” Kara agreed “but I just wanted to tell you… that you’re the strongest woman that I know and that… I am proud of you, Lena” she hugged her friend close, holding all her weight, trying to trap her emotions into herself.

“Thank you.”

“I really am proud of you” Kara repeated. And Lena never wanted to cry so much before.

 

***

 

One thing was certain, Kara was too quiet in the car. In fact, her head was begging to feel like it was going to explode with worries she kept on her heart. While she was on her trip to Earth 1, all Kara could think of was Lena and her child, she was desperate to go back home. She even told Barry what was happening, because her focus was basically non while they were fighting. He advised her to tell Lena the truth, to tell her how she felt because now she was running out of time. Lena was pregnant and was going to give the baby up and not even from far that situation looked simple. However, the Flash knew all too well what Kara meant when she said she didn’t want to lose her best friend, because yes, that was a possible outcome.

More than that, Kara remembered Lilian Luthor’s look at her at that dinner. She thank Rao that Lena was passed out, but the elder woman’s words still haunted her mind.

“Lena is going to find the truth out and when that happens, she will never forgive you.”

 

As she looked to her friend, so focused on the road out the window heart sank in her chest and Kara felt like crying. She was scared, frightened, terrified. She didn’t have any control of her life on that subject and she felt people she loved always slipped through her fingers. What would she do if Lena never forgave her? What was she going to do when she witnessed the Luthor sign the adoption papers for her own child” How could she tell her that she wanted to keep it, to take care of it, to watch it grow and not lose her best friend in the way? Truth be told. There was no simple way to come up to her and tell it, because many times, words can hurt or sound like something she didn’t mean to. Kara could never move on if she knew she had broken her trust.

While the young Danvers was fighting her inner demons, Lena was also wondering about that pregnancy. About the fact, she hadn’t done any blood exams since the pre-natal began. Shit. It wasn’t her fault though, since when she came into the lab to take the blood samples, all needles broke when trying to get under her skin. Her eyes went wide open and she cursed herself for her stupid mistake. Lena already knew sharp blades or edges didn’t cut her, but the nurse beside her began to panic, which required a lot of patience and wit from Lena to calm him down.

A whole lot of money as well to keep him silent about what happened.

Lena knew that Dr. Cameron was going to ask about the exams and request new ones. That’s why Lena faked them and bought her more time to think of an alternative solution to that simple big problem. When talked about it with Supergirl, the hero wasn’t too fond of the only other choice they had: ask the DEO for help. Neither was Lena, that’s why later she came up with a plan C that didn’t involve her giving her blood to J’onn and his men. Alex was her last hope and she was going to help her, even if Lena had to beg for it. The Luthor sighed and slowly caressed her belly. She was about to see her baby again, she was going to finally find out if it was a boy or a girl, if they were fine and healthy. Lena couldn’t properly say she was shinning with happiness, but she certainly was anxious and joyful.

She turned to her friend on the other side of the car and smiled for herself, catching a glimpse of her perfume in the air. Lena wanted to tell Kara what was happening to her body, she wanted to ask her for help, to tell her she was scared about Seedy’s future and what that baby could become. However, Kara wasn’t Seedy’s mother, it wasn’t her burden to carry those concerns. How was Lena going to tell her that Alex was helping her get secret blood tests? Tell her her skin seemed to be made of steel now? It wasn’t a sensible, much less normal conversation. If Lena had to tell someone on the DEO about that problem, that person was going to be Alex.

The rest of the ride continued in total silence. Both women trying to process their anguished thoughts, ones that could have been solved with an honest dialogue from both parts.

“Miss Luthor, how are you feeling?” the doctor asked as they walked into the room and sat down on chairs in front of the desk “make yourselves comfortable.”

“Apparently fine” Lena answered honestly “nausea diminished considerably, though I still can’t eat the same things I used to. But I’m not complaining, this is definitely better.”

“It is very common for pregnant women to never go back to eat like they used to” Cameron explained, “a lot of time you will be able to feel the same taste or sensation you had, But the smell can bother you, same goes for the texture and taste.”

“I think you’ll never eat kale again” Kara smiled victoriously.

“It’s your dream come true, isn’t it darling?” Lena smiled back, ironic.

“Well, I’m going to request an update on your blood samples, so I need you to collect some more” Dr. Cameron smiled and stood up “now, let’s see if we’ve got a boy or a girl?” Kara and Lena exchanged looks, excited.

Lena laid down over the uncomfortable bed and pushed her shirt up and her pants down, so her stomach would be completely exposed. Kara sat down next to her and held her hand, watching attentively Lena get goosebumps as the cold gel touched her skin and the machine slipped over it. Soon, the screen over the huge computer and they saw the black and white image. Although now it was easier to find Seedy there. Lena squeezed her friend’s hand thigh, ignoring the cold sweat coming out of it.

“Well, here is your baby, Miss Luthor” the doctor mover the mouse to the image’s center “it is the size of a pear now, with almost 12 centimeters from her head to its legs, that is around 4,7 inches and around 0,22 pounds.”

“Is it okay?” Lena asked quickly.

“The growing pattern is normal” she changed the screen’s focus “here are the legs which are going to grow quickly, here are the arms, hands and…look!” she pointed to a blur near the baby’s head “it is sucking on their finger”

“Look at those little hands…” Kara whispered to herself, completely in love “sucking their finger…”

“Yeah…” Lena nodded, feeling overwhelmed by that same feeling.

“It is normal, for this to happen, especially now that it is discovering the space around it” Cameron explained “you will feel a little bit o cramping, but don’t worry, it’s just your baby pulling on the umbilical cord.

“And can’t that hurt?” Kara asked concerned “Can’t it.. well, harm Lena?”

“No, it will just bother her but there is no harm in it” the doctor continued patiently “oh, another thing, it will start to kick” Lena felt her heart pump in her chest. She was finally going to feel Seedy move, finally “it’s not a rule, many moms begin to feel it around the twentieth week, but since we have a big baby here, you’re probably going to feel it soon” she smiled. Lena expected it anxiously for it, waited for it as she had never anticipated anything before.

“I… I had a little accident, I think” Lena spoke “my shirt, actually, it got stained with a white liquid, it wasn’t a lot but.. is it… normal\/

 

Kara stared at her, confused. How much had she missed this week? Rao! She felt bad for not knowing every detail.

“Oh, it is completely normal” Cameron answered “it is called colostrum and it is what your body produces before that maternal milk is ready. It will become more frequent so don’t worry about it.” she smiled “Well, are you ready to know the sex?”

The pair held each other's hands tight and exchanged intense looks, full of expectation.

“Yes” Lena answered

“Your baby is a little girl” she announced “congratulations mommies!”

At the moment, neither Kara and much less Lena was capable of correcting the doctor and telling her they weren’t a couple. That they weren’t together and Kara wasn’t that baby’s mother. All that could do was shed happy tears. They hugged each other and Kara let her friend bury her face on her shoulder, feeling her sob. A girl. Seedy was going to be a beautiful girl. Perhaps with dark hair and blue eyes. Or maybe blonde hair and green eyes. It didn't matter, for either of them. When Lena laid down again, doctor Cameron continued to explain about the second trimester and that the baby was going to double its size.

After the remaining explanations, they listened to the heartbeat again, stronger this time. Impetuously strong.

 

***

 

Winn and Kara stood with attention in front of a computer program that the little genius - how he liked to call himself - had invented that week while she was away. Kara was sitting on top of her red cape, uselessly trying to pay attention to what her friend was saying. As much as she wanted to focus on his words, her mind was far away, very far away. Still stuck on the events of four days ago, when she learned her baby was a girl, growing healthy and strong. It was humorous to watch Supergirl wander through the DEO hallways on that Saturday. The hero was constantly dancing when she wasn’t out on the streets, she kept murmuring songs while writing her articles and even began to bring donuts for the other agents, another way to show her immense happiness.

It was hilarious. Winn was constantly making fun of her for it, telling Kara that maternity suited her and that if she had known all it took to get Lena to eat was her to get her pregnant, Kara would have done that earlier. A comment which caused her to roll her eyes and go back to life in her thoughts and dreams.

A girl. Would she have her smile? Or maybe Lena’s cute dimples?

Rao, she was going to be the prettiest child in the universe. Kara was humble and sincere with her opinion. Now she understood what the term ‘mother bear’ meant, though she had never seen a bear with its children to compare the behavior. Who invented that phrase anyway? That didn’t matter. All that Supergirl wanted 2was to finish her work, drop by CatCo to deliver her completed article, say hi to James, fly through her favorite Chinese restaurant to get her favorite potstickers, and pick Lena up at L-Corp, who knew should rest but still went to work every day.

Which made Kara go rescue her every day, using food as a way to get her out of there. She loved how her daughter was so similar to her when it came to food.

“Earth to Kara!” Winn snapped “you’re not even listening!”

“Er... sorry” Kara frowned, not even trying to fake it “I kind of got distracted”

“Yeah, I noticed” he sighed “a distraction that had a first and last name. Speaking of her, have you two decided Seedy’s name yet, or are you going with Seedy as an official name?” Winn spun in his chair to face the hero, fidgeting with her cape “Seedy Luthor Danvers, or is it going to be Zor-El?”

“Of course not” Kara sighed “and I haven’t even asked Lena about it, yes” she admitted, a little upset “and I’m scared of… I don’t know… upset her or cross a line.”

“You still haven’t convinced her to change her mind about the adoption?” Winn asked and the hero sighed again. Convincing wasn’t the right word.

“Lena… she…” Kara took a deep breath “I don’t know if I should convince her if it is right to do so, you know? I don’t want her to feel pressured to do something she’s not ready for, you know? Lena would be a great mother, Winn, and I’m not saying that because she is amazing at everything, but she’s amazing” Kara couldn’t put it into words, but Winn laughed, understanding it “I want Lena to make her decision considering only her heart, so I shouldn’t be talking about it in her head.”

“Don’t worry, Romeo” he teased “From what you’ve told me, she even went shopping for baby stuff, right?”

“Yes! Rao! And she didn’t even wait for me!” Kara pouted and crossed her arms “Winn, the clothes are so little and colorful, I’ve never seen so many small cute things together” she smiled, enchanted “Lena even bought an overall with Supergirl’s symbol! My home’s symbol, my family’s!”

“Take it easy, okay?” he warned “It’s a good start but you still have… how many months ahead?”

“Lena is sixteen weeks far.”

“Do I look like someone who understands weeks of pregnancy, Kara?” Winn rolled his eyes “what is wrong with speaking in months? It’s so much simpler!”

“She just completed the fourth month, Winn” Kara snorted “I thought you were a genius” she teased.

“Computer programs are much less complex than babies.” he explained, “now get out of here, your sister was looking for you.”

“Okay, anything unusual happens at L-Corp, let me know” she pointed a finger and tried to make a straight face.

“I still can’t believe you’re making the DEO monitor L-Corp 24/7” he shook his head “we have crimes to solve, bad guys, aliens!”

“Keep an eye on her apartment too or I’ll send you on a field trip to follow her all day.”

“You were more fun when you weren’t a parent” he complained.

“Shut up, Winn!” she screamed already flying upstairs.

 

***

 

Lena was extremely thankful for the cold and the rain, knowing she was to feel the same hotness she felt when the pregnancy began, she would probably murder someone. Not that she still experienced the cold the same way she used to, it was strange. To say it was because of the pregnancy would be an understatement, her belly was constantly hot. Anyone who touched that area could feel the warmth that crossed her shirt. What made her diminished considerably the number of coats she used to wear or the amount of energy she used to spend with the heater at home.

That Wednesday was going to be stormy, the CEO had to be present at three meetings and a video conference with the Japanese investors. If everything went according to plan, soon she would be able to put her new projects to work. Which was going to be highly lucrative to L-Corp. After standing for longer than she could bear, Lena finally finished signing everything she needed to and returned to her office, asking Jess to not let anyone bother her unless it was of extreme importance.

Or if it was one of the Danvers sisters. She laughed to herself after saying that sentence. When had she acquired that many Danvers’ in her life?

 

“I hope your own mother isn’t such a bother to be barred from your office” Lena’s body shiver and a wave of nausea ran through her body as she heard that voice. Lena lifted her eyes, hoping she wasn’t going to find who she knew was standing there. Though it was useless to hope.

“What do you want, mother?” She faced Lilian. who smiled a poisonous smile. The older woman sat down on the chair in front of her desk and placed her purse on the table “I’m busy” Lena lied. She was actually doing personal research that couldn’t be further from her work.

“What do I want?” she asked brutally “Lena, what is going on with you?” Lilian raised her tone “I get constant information that you’re feeling sick or that you’re not doing all your tasks concerning your brother’s company.” while she spoke, Lena only got sicker and sicker. Feeling the distasteful juice from her stomach on the back of her throat. “You know you can’t hide that pregnancy now.”

“This is my business, so please, if you have anything more to say, be quick” Lena kept her posture, placing a hand on her stomach.

“You’re pathetic, Lena” Lilian frowned “why don’t you think about the consequences of your actions? You think life can be lived recklessly? With casual encounters?” her eyes were stone cold, same as her words “you have a name and a reputation to keep, you can’t just act like a teenager!”

“Is this all you have to say?” Lena took a deep breath. Her heart was beating a thousand miles per hour.

“Who is the father of this child, Lena?” Lilian interrogated almost screaming and the CEO had to bite her lips to keep her lunch from coming out “oh, God” her mother laid back, putting her hand in her mouth with disgust. Whatever she did, Lilian could always read Lena flawlessly “you don’t know who he is. I should have known you would never be a real Luthor.”

 

“My daughter doesn’t have a father” Lena spoke loud and clear “she doesn’t have a father and she will never have one. Are you satisfied?” She got up and walked to the mini bar, grabbing a bottle of water and chugging it down in one take. Her nerves were on her skin.

“What do you mean she doesn’t have a father” Lilian grumbled, “every child has a biological father.”

“Keep thinking that, it will be easier for you and me.” she was dry and before Lena could continue, a loud thud was heard from her balcony, making both mother and daughter turn to the glass door.

A soaking wet Supergirl appeared, with her once shiny lustrous hair, now dripping and sticking on her face.

“That is all I needed” Lilian sighed “why don’t you take care of your own problems?”

“Miss Luthor, is everything okay here?” the hero ignored Lilian, shooting a concerned look at Lena.

“Yes, my mother was just on her way out” Lena turned to face her mother “wasn’t you?”

“We’re not done,” Lilian said making her rage apparent, grabbing her purse and looking at her daughter “your father would be disappointed and so would your brother.” Lena clenched her jaw “goodbye”. The women watched the older one make her way to the door and leave, leaving a heavy atmosphere behind.

“Sorry for showing up like this and… wetting your office” Supergirl notice the water pool around her shoes “it wasn’t my intention but I didn’t want to leave you alone with your mother.”

“Don’t worry about it, I can’t defend myself” Lena answered, still tense “take this” she handled a small towel she kept in one of the cupboards “can you detach the cape from the rest of the suit?”

“I think so” she sighed “I need help…”

“Right” Lena stood behind Supergirl and detached the heavy red cape, feeling all the power that it emanated. Hanging it on the coat rack where it could at least dry off “feeling better?”

“Er… yes” Kara smiled, covering her body in the towel like a child and taking her boots that now seemed like a well of water “sorry for this, again” she blushed, feeling her face getting too hot.

“I know you probably don’t feel cold, but do you need more towels?” Lena asked politely “you shouldn’t have come during this storm, hero or not, you could’ve gotten hurt.”

“It’s okay, I’ve flown in worst conditions” Supergirl shuddered “and you, how are you?”

“Perfectly fine, though I would be better if Lilian hadn’t shown up” she confessed “anyway, I need your help.”

“What do you need?” Supergirl sat up straight, right next to Lena, paying attention.

“First, this is for you” she handled an envelope “these are the last two ultrasounds” Lena smiled “it’s a girl”

Kara’s heart beat out of compass. Of course, she already knew that, but anytime hearing that confirmation felt like hearing it for the first time. Every time.

“A girl” she whispered “and is she okay? Growing healthy?”

“Growing too much, a lot of clothes won’t even fit” Lena confirmed, caressing her belly and noticing the hero watch her movement “do… do you want to feel it?” her eyes make and for a split second, Kara could swear Lena knew the whole truth.

“May I?” she asked, hesitantly. Three heartbeats were dancing in the same rhythm at the moment.

Lena nodded yes and reached for the hero’s hands, placing them over her shirt. The heat radiated through Supergirl’s body, making her feel weird, safe. It was funny for Lena to notice how Seedy and her other mother shared the same body temperature. Supergirl suspired, feeling the urge of tears, she smiled, lifting her eyes to meet the Luthor’s.

“Hey, darling” Lena whispered gently, putting her hand next to Supergirl’s “this is your yeyu”

“What did you say?” Kara pulled back scared, losing her breathing rhythm.

What had Lena said?

“Yeyu, is that correct?” she asked nervously “am I pronouncing it right?”

“I… not, er…” Supergirl reached for her hair, still wet, and sighed. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real.

“What is it?” Lena placed a hand on the hero’s knee, starting to fear that reaction, Supergirl was on the verge of tears.

“I just…” she tried to catch her breath “no one… no one had ever spoken kryptonian to me or… it’s just been so long… yeyu” the syllables came out heavy from her mouth “mother.”

“Yes, mother” Lena nodded “you’re her mother too, Supergirl.”

“I am” she smiled, trying to keep the tears from falling and went back to touching the Luthor’s stomach “I’m your yeyu, is’kah” her smile grew larger “Ukiemiv’odh w’rrip, eh is’kah”
“I love you?” Lena spoke and Kara died twice before realizing it was a question and not a declaration.

“Uh, yeah” she scoffed “I love you, little one”

“Can you teach me?” Lena regretted asking the minute she spoke “I mean if it’s not painful for you. I don’t want to bother you, I just think she should carry a part of us, even if we don’t keep her in the end.”

“Right, er… okay” Supergirl agreed “I’ll teach you”

Lena was going to say something else but loud sirens began to sound and a boom was heard, breaking the calm atmosphere they were immersed in. Using her super speed, Supergirl put her boots on and plucked her cape in place, going straight to the balcony, where the rain fell mercilessly. Before leaving, she turned to face the CEO, feeling her soul ache and the guilty corrupt her heart. She loved Lena too much to ever let anyone harm her. And yet she knew that, by hiding her identity, she was the one hurting Lena the most.

And what hurt the most was to be aware that Kara Danvers was not going to be the mother, only Supergirl.

Without saying anything, she smiled and flew away, leaving Lena behind. Supergirl fought who she needed to fight and even punching some bad guys didn’t help the discharge all the frustration in her. As she returned to her apartment, Kara broke down, crying while flying, trying not to hit any buildings as she made her way. Her vision got blurry and all she wanted at the moment was to take a hot shower, ear, and sleep. The ultrasound envelope was given to Alex by her, before heading to the robbery place.

Kara landed on her balcony and found it odd to see all the lights on. She took off her cape and tried to fix her hair, leaving her boots outside the apartment. As she walked in, Kara found her sister laying down on the couch, devouring a bowl of ice cream with a blanket around her.

“Alex?” Kara frowned “I thought you were going home.”

“I… didn’t want to be alone” Alex confessed and Kara’s heart melted, she liked remembering that no matter what, they were still friends, sisters “and we have to talk.”

“Rao!” Kara complained, “I knew there was something behind that ‘I don’t want to be alone’.”

“Hey!” Alex punched her arm, knowing her sister wouldn’t feel a thing “I do miss you, but there is something more urgent that we have to discuss.”

“Can I at least take a shower?”

“No.”
“Ugh” Kara laid back “then give me this” she took the ice cream and the spoon “I deserve this.”

“Not fair” the redhead complained but Kara ignored her “okay, what I want to tell you is that we’re fucked and not in a good way.”

“Oh… what do you mean,” Kara asked with her mouth full of ice cream.

“Eliza is coming to town, tomorrow,” Alex said and the blonde still looked confused.

“Okay, so what?”

“Let me be clearer” Alex fixed her posture and stared at Kara “Eliza, our mother, is coming to National City for two reasons. Number one: she wants to meet my fiancee, or better ex-fiancee” Alex said and didn’t let her sister process the information, continuing “Number two: she wants to meet her daughter’s boyfriend, the one you didn’t mention was thrown into outer space for months ago and oh! And you weren’t even in love with him, you are in love with your best friend” Alex was ruthless “should I mention that this friend is also pregnant with your child?”

“Oh, Rao!” Kara whimpered “We’re going to die, Alex!”

“Be ready, because you’re the one picking her up at the airport tomorrow while I clean my apartment up” Alex said seriously, mentally thanking Lena for helping her last week.

“Why me?” she complained.

“Because you’re the one who knocked up your best friend, I just called off an engagement.”

“Alex!”

They laughed together and hugged each other. The young Danvers didn’t know about the engagement news, or about her sister’s alcohol problem coming back, but that night, the sisters promised each other to stay united. Alex told Kara everything, detailing every pain and sadness, while the younger sister listened carefully and eventually got up to grab more ice cream. Eliza was arriving in a few hours and the world could fall apart at any moment.

Chapter Text

Lena had many conceptions about romantic dates, she knew how they worked, how you had to have at least a draft of a script to how it was going to go, so if things were embarrassing or weird, you had a plan to escape it. She never expected things to go like the cliche movies, or even liked to raise her expectations above average. If she was interested in someone enough for them to sleep together, then it happened and Lena never let any of the encounters grow from more than a sexual fling. She’d always make an excuse and come home the same way she had left: alone.

However, ever since she had met a certain reporter, Lena would constantly ask herself what kind of dates Kara enjoyed. Of course, she knew her best friend enough to know she was the kind of woman that wanted a cliche romance and, let’s be real, anyone who asked her out should notice that detail. But that wasn’t true. Lena was an observer, she was one ever since she was a child, she liked to take in details that would be stored in the back of her mind to be used later. She knew that her best friend liked romantic comedies cliches, that she believed in soul mates, in love at first sight, and Disney-like true love kisses.

Lena’s only disappointment and concern were that, in reality, Kara only got involved with guys that never cared to notice that detail, which caused her dates to be a bit disastrous, the last one in the least being that list being that Mon-El guy- who Lena was relieved that would never come back. Okay, Lena was not the best person to judge Kara, her dating life was not the best, it was barely existing. The CEO’s life was too focused on studying and spending her nights alone in the lab or her office, having wine by herself. Ever since she was a teenager, mainly because she had skipped many phases, Lena saw herself obligated to fit in a pattern and a way of life that was nothing like the one she had dreamt. There was no time for real dating, for getting involved, for falling in love, or for allowing anyone to be part of her story.

And Lena didn’t want someone like her to be by Kara’s side, she deserved so much better. Kara deserved someone that knew her truthfully and completely, someone that would move mountains to turn her life into a real Hollywood cliche.

At some point, Lnea thought about asking her friend out, but her inner useless lesbian convinced her that it was better not to and that it would complicate everything. After all, what did she know about romance? What kind of knowledge on the subject did the Luthor have to give Kara everything she deserved? The truth was that if Lena sat down to make the math, the equation counting her lack of romantic experiences, her traumas and fears, and ability to destroy everything she touched and her strong feelings for Kara, all that the CEO found was an empty result for the x she was trying to find.

However, love isn’t mathematics, and therefore, it can’t be counted. The increase of heartbeat pace when the other person walks into the room is innumerable. But Lena was yet to discover this.

When she imagined her date with Kara, Lena made up every possible and impossible scenario in her head before making a solid decision. But being on her way to a pregnancy lesson, with her best friend and wearing matching t-shirts was a scenario that Lena’s mind forgot to consider. Besides, that was, most definitely, not a date.

So why did Kara look like she was shining with happiness that morning?

“Our mommy of the year is back!” Ramona smiled and hugged Lena, who hugged her back, laughing because hugging people was only becoming harder and harder due to the size of her belly “soon we won’t even be able to get close to each other!”

“How do you hug people with this thing in between?” Lena laughed and Julie soon came up to say hi.

“So?” Julie and Ramona asked excitedly, “Boy or girl?”

“Girl” Lena responded, fluttery, feeling her heart grow twice bigger in her body. She was her little girl.

The pair hugged her again, congratulating and Lena swore she heard a ‘told you so’ and snorted.

“I see your lovely wife is back” Ramona smiled and then noticed the matching shirts “you two are definitely my favorite couple, look at that!” she drew Julie’s attention, who smiled largely.

“My husband won’t even wear a pink shirt if I ask him to” she complained jokingly “and how can she eat for five and still have this body” Kara blushed.

“I… I work out every now and then” she scoffed, nervously and Lena intertwined their fingers. That was a usual question but it still bothered her.

“Kara has a great metabolism” Lena explained it short and simple, excusing them and dragging Kara across the room “is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it is” she sighed “what are we learning today?”

“I have no idea,” Lena shrugged.

Before they could continue, the pair was interrupted by a tall, thin perfectly perfect shadow.

“Morning” Emily smiled like she always did and all Lena could think about was: how is she always looking like that?

Lena was constantly feeling like her getting was oilier, like her feet and back weight tons and that her stomach was never satisfied, she was also too aware that her weight was only going up and up- though maybe that was an overreaction- so Lena couldn’t really deal with Emily, the Victoria Secret’s model lookalike. It was too much for her self-esteem.

“Morning” Kara answered with a smile, looking like the sun if Lena was to compare “how is the baby?”

“Incredibly well” she answered “I’m almost finishing the seventh month and I didn’t even gain ten pounds. Pilates and hydro gymnastics do help, but of course keeping my diet was essential.” she bragged, making the Luthor clench her jaw.

So much useless information that no one asked about, Lena thought to herself.

“And you’re doing it all by yourself?” Kara asked, surprised “it must be hard… and lonely…”

“Yes, I am doing it all alone, but I don’t care, better alone than in bad company” she laughed it off and noticed how Kara was staring at her belly “do you want to touch it?”

“I…” she didn’t know what to answer, because she wasn’t sure if she should or if it was appropriate “I… er…” Emily then got closer, smirking, finding it adorable the way Kara was blushing.

“No, she does not” Lena pulled Kara by her shirt and glared at her. Her face changed quickly and something was bothering her chest. “now if you excuse me, we need to find our places for the class.”

They walked away and Kara was confused by the sudden change of mood. But she preferred to stay silent so the situation wouldn’t aggravate, she had read in many books that mood swings were extremely common in pregnant women and it wasn’t advisable for the people around to be in a bad mood as well. Carrying a child inside them for months was enough exhaustion as it was.

“Well, today our class will be about how to help our mommies relax” Zara smiled with her joyful energy, explaining everything with her delicious voice “we know that the third trimester is the most complicated and tiring of them, that’s why I want our papas and our mama Kara because we're inclusive here” she blinked for the young Danvers, who turned to Lena, unsure of how to react “please, sit behind your partners, letting them sit between your legs, okay?”

The couples moved over the mattresses, positioning and talking, while the teacher went to help Emily, who didn’t have a partner. Theoretically, it was a simple, easy, and even quick activity, that if Lena wasn’t feeling her heart beating in her mouth and her body overheated with the thought of Kara so close. God, she was going to have a heart attack right there, The blonde, as usual, didn’t see the dirty side of it, she actually found it rather interesting. In no time she placed herself behind her friend, leaving some space between her times so Lena could fit in there. But Lena didn’t move and she wasn’t sure she would be able to.

Damn it, why couldn’t she have fallen in love with someone else.

Besides that, with her highly sensitive skin, Lena knew she was going to get too ‘animated’ and it was the last thing she wanted right now. Shit, shit, shit!

“Lena?” she heard a voice behind her, rushing her thoughts away.

“Uh, yeah,” Lena said, “are you okay with this?”

“C’mon” Kara called her with her hands “if it hurts, you tell me, okay?”

“Okay,” Lena agreed and sat comfortably between Kara’s legs, feeling the hot breath on her neck and shivering her whole body. Fucking hell. that was a bad start “not exactly how I picture being between your legs” she grumbled quietly, only for herself.

But Kara had super hearing.

“I-I..., wh-what?” the kryptonian felt her stomach flutter. Rao! Had Lena really just said that?

Their bodies tensed, the nervousness was palpable and Lena shut her eyes, trying to escape that situation.

“Now that everyone is positioned” Zara went back on talking and Kara tried to relax again, at the same time Lena let her breath escape “well, during gestation, it is usual to feel pains on your lower and higher back, almost on the shoulder. Due to the weight on your stomach, the posture is basically lost” she explained, “so now I want you to put your hands on the shoulder live, and stroke it to the neck, take your time.” She made Emily as an example, going up to her neck and then almost down the arm.

Ramone exhaled hard as she felt her husband’s firm hand stroke her skin clumsily. Lena just decided to pray to God things wouldn’t get worse because her panic was getting bigger. She felt her friend’s hand getting her hair out of the way and her body reacted instantly, almost as if she was going to explode. Kara pushed her so her body wouldn’t be so uptight and the rest of the world seemed to fade when Kara whispered in her ear.

“Is it good like this?” the hot breath with traces of mint hit Lena hard. And it was almost fatal, making all her skin shiver and she held her breath.

“Uhum…” Lena panted delicately. It felt like heaven.

Kara pressed her fingertips hard on the pale skin, watching her hand lightly mark hair, and continued the massage. Slowly going up the shoulder, stroking every pressure point there, and knowing her friend was carrying heavy burdens every day, she took her sweet time. The real problem began when she continued to the side of the neck, pressing hard on her pulse point, getting to under her ear.

“Hm…” she heard Lena moan quietly “this is so good” she whispered, unaware the young Danvers was listening “you’re so good with your hands…”

But Kara was listening to it loud and clear, much for her despair and lack of emotional control that dropped suddenly.

Right. She had to focus on something else if she could. But the harder she tried to direct her attention towards what really mattered- the physical pains on her friends’ back- but the scenario only became worse. The CEO slowly relaxed, silently moaning and letting her breathing follow its own compass, barely realizing her body was, gradually, falling on its back, to the point her back was being upheld by her friend’s chest.

“Okay, everyone” Zara popped their bubble and Lena quickly regained her posture, feeling embarrassed for how much weight she had put on Kara “the lower back part is more complicated because you can’t expect a pregnant woman to lay on their stomach” she explained “that’s why I asked the mommies to come wearing tops and for you to bring pillows” Kara got up and grabbed everything they needed, alongside a chair “each one of you will get your pillow and a chair, while the mommies take their shirts off.”

And so they all did it, following the next step which was to sit in front of the chair, putting the pillow between them, so their breasts and stomach wouldn’t hurt when they laid on the chair. Lena placed her shirt next to her hair and waited for the following instructions. She felt so good that it didn’t even occur to her to think of her friend, who was behind her, sweating as she stared at her naked back. That day was pushing boundaries they never dared to think about and Kara thought she was going to pass out.

Rao! Deep breaths!

Kara observed every freckle in Lena’s white back, which reminded her of the constellations she used to see the freckles on Lena’s white back, reminding her of the constellations from Krypton she used to see on her bedroom window. Kara promised to know them all by heart and her thoughts flew high, as she imagined what it would be like to have this level of intimacy with someone like Lena Luthor, the greatest woman of National City. As much as she knew she was one of the few- to not say the only one- that had this liberty with Lena, but the young Danvers wanted more and wished so hard to tell her friend how much this friendship meant to her, it ached in her chest. Kara was able to hear her relaxed breathing, to notice the way her chest was slowly going up and down which made her ecstatic, alongside the sound of the heartbeat of the two women she loved.

“Now spread the oil over the back” Zara instructed, again demonstrating on Emily “it will make it easier to slide the fingers.”

“Kara probably knows everything about the sliding fingers area” Julie teased, making Ramona snort.

“I can teach you, if you want to,” Kara innocently answered, not getting the conversation’s undertone.

Lena hid her face in her pillow and sighed, unable to make any comments about that.

“Now, carefully move your hands up and down, adding minimal pressure until you have a rhythm” Christ! Lena thought, her head was definitely not forming the image it was supposed to.

The teacher would say up and down but Lena’s mins would understand in and out. And her wet center was definitely agreed with her filthy mind.

Nothing relieved her, especially when her body felt firm strong hands make their way from her waist to her shoulder blade with admirable precision, repeating the way up and down. At that point, Lena’s mind had already melted and self-control wasn’t a word in her dictionary.

“Oh, fuck…” Lena gasped, closing her eyes and trying to hide her heavy breathing “hm…”

“Now on the lower back, with both hands, make open movements” Zara continued “from the center to the sides, always putting pressure but not too strong.”

And so the class continued. Kara was very focused on her task, noticing every time her hands were close to Lena’s belly, remembering it was her daughter who was there. Her fingers traced every inch of pale skin, contouring every dot and she smiled, seeing her friend look so relaxed. Something so rare for her. As embarrassing as it was to hear Lena moan, Kara loved those moments of intimacy, when they could be themselves and were able to enjoy the pregnancy like two normal people, no murderous families or secret identities. It was like being human, being an ordinary person living a simple life.

“Lena?” Kara murmured, pushing some strands of hair on her face aside and finding two bright green eyes staring at her “are you feeling good?”

“Uhum” was all the CEO could answer “just keep going.”

“Have you ever… er, perhaps felt… Seedy kick?” she asked awkwardly. Kara was scared that moment was going to happen and she wouldn’t be around to live it too.

“Not yet” Lena answered, “why?”

“Because… I guess I just… want to know what it’s like” Kara stopped the massage abruptly as Lena began to move. She turned around and the teacher said they could put the shirt back on and get the chairs into place, but Lena didn’t.

Facing her friend, Lena reached her hands and put them on her stomach, feeling Kara’s warmth fit so perfectly with hers. The oil soon spread on her skin again and she did her best to ignore the not so pure thoughts invading her mind on that moment of proximity and intimacy.

“Talk to her” Lena smiled “who knows, maybe she’ll move because I think Seedy is asleep now.”

“But if she’s sleeping I don’t want to wake her” Kara whispered, moving her fingers lightly on the skin’s surface.

“C’mon, she likes to hear your voice,” she admitted, feeling her face go red. Did she really have to say that?

“Really? How… how do you know that?” Kara’s smile lit up her face and Lena’s embarrassment suddenly left, she was glad she was honest about it.

“I don’t know, I think… I just know some things for sure,” she answered, shuddering.

“It’s because you’re a mother, Lena” Ramona came up behind her “mothers always know things, especially when it comes to their babies” she smirked and walked away, leaving them alone again.

“Hey, Seedy…” Kara spoke softly, lightly “if you’re asleep, I’m sorry, but I just… wanted to let you know that you have the most amazing mother in the whole and, though she’s a bit stubborn, she loves you very much.”

“Kara” Lena fought against her tears, oppositely smiling “what about moms from other planets? Have you been out of Earth?” she teased, but Kara felt her heart sink.o

She wanted to say yes, to tell the truth. Alura was a subject she rarely talked about, bringing it to light on her worst days, the ones when anger or an overwhelming nostalgia consumed her. Kara missed her, even though she was completely aware of her mistakes, that she had abandoned her. More than that, she missed her father, her aunt Astra and the rest of her family. Sometimes she would wonder what her parents would say to her becoming a mother, what advice they would give her. Kara never got to know what Alura’s thoughts on pregnancy were, or about raising a baby. Kara got the best instruction she could get and she was eternally grateful for it, for the great education and great teachers she had had, even though it was for such a short time.

“I don’t even need to leave National City to be sure of it, Lena.”

“Now, before you go to the back to have a snack” Zara spoke loudly, drawing everyone’s attention “I want to read something I ran into a couple of days ago and I want you all to pay attention to it.”

“When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND by Emily Kingsley.”

Lena, who was now standing next to her friend, tried to suppress the sob trying to escape her throat. The paragraphs had hit her hard. Each word, each sentence, every truth coming out of it had another wall inside her falling apart, causing the crushing feeling she was beginning to get used to. No, she was not going to Italy, she was not doing anything she had planned to, she wasn’t visiting the Colosseum or eating the Italian pizzas. She'd have to get used to the new people, new perspectives, new language. Her controlled, methodic list of plans and goals was going to be thrown away because she was not going to Italy.

 

She was going to Holland.

So she let the tears roll down, suddenly feeling Kara’s arms around her, supporting her in every way she needed. It felt like somewhere to lay back, to recline her head, and know that, while the world was falling apart, there was someone to hold her. Lena couldn’t keep mourning Rome or Milan, she was going to be happy in Amsterdam and its canals. Maybe it was going to be just as exciting, as interesting. It was a loss, just a different destination.

“Shhh, take a deep breath” Kara caressed her hair, letting her body relax and calm down

“I’m not go-going to Italy” she whispered, still sobbing.

“No” she smiled, now comprehending how personal that story had been “we are going to Holland.”

“We?” Lena stepped back, to take a proper look at Kara.

“Do you intend to leave me behind in this city, all alone to starve without a best friend?” Kara said dramatically, pouting.

“You’re my favorite” she laughed “I wouldn’t go anywhere without you.”

 

***

 

“Do you feel like your body is making you suffer twice as much?” Ramona asked.

The group was sitting around one of the backyard tables, enjoying the nice weather and devouring all the food Zara had bought. Julie and Ramona were next to Kara and Lena, listening to they talk about their works and some projects L-Corp was about to launch, something that Kara was definitely going to cover with every detail, getting Cat-Co all the exclusivity with a perfect article about the amazing brain her friend had. The one she loved so much, like every other quality she had, ones she could spend days talking about.

“I feel like my breasts could explode at any moment” the Luthor confessed, “and you know what’s weirder?”

“You can’t squat without losing balance?” Julie asked, “because, honestly, it feels like I have labyrinthitis.”

“My nipples are bigger,” Lena said and Kara choked on the gelato she was having, coughing hard “God, Kara, slow down,” she said worriedly, not understanding the real reason behind that.

“Have some water” Julie offered and Kara promptly accept, still unable to form a proper sentence.

“Do you feel better?” Lena caressed her back, staring at her so intensely Kara had no choice but to get up.

“Y-yeah… I, er… just need...more ice cream” she smiled and grabbed her pot “ice cream, yes.”

“Of course” her friend smiled “go ahead.”

Kara walked towards the table and gave her another huge spoon of chocolate ice cream, feeling her mouth water and the ghost taste of it on her lips. There was nothing cooler than to eat a cold thing while it was cold. Sure, Eliza always used to say ice cream in winter could get them sick, but Kara knew her alien DNA wouldn’t let her be sick, so she took advantage of it. Though she would hold back sometimes, if Alex wasn’t allowed to eat something, she wouldn’t do it in front of her.

“Lost around so many women?” Emily approached her, grabbing another gluten-free sandwich.

“Hmm? Me?” Kara questioned with her mouth full “what did you say?” the other woman laughed.

“You truly are sweet no wonder your wife fell in love with this woman child” she joked.

“My… wife?” Once again, Kara’s brain took a while to process.

“Yes, Lana, right?” now the hero could feel the poison from the other woman’s mouth and she reacted quickly.

“It’s Lena,” she corrected, “why don’t you bring someone to the lessons?”

“I prefer to deal with the reality that I am going to be a single mother” Emily explained “finding the right woman is hard but it can happen at any minute” she smirked.

Across the yard, Julie observed the woman’s proximity to Kara and turned to her friend fast.

“Lena, look who’s bothering again” she commented under her breath “doesn’t she get tired of being so annoyingly perfect?”

“She annoys me even when she’s standing still in a corner” Ramona frowned “probably my hormones.”

“If I go there I won’t be able to blame my hormones” Lena answered, sensing the feeling of anger and weight in her chest. Who did that woman think she was? Why was she so insistent on talking to her wife… er, friend?

Fucking hell!

“Well, I’d like to see it” Julie provoked “are you really going to let her get so close to Kara?”

“No, I will not” Lena got up and crossed the small yard, walking toward the table but keeping enough distance to listen to the conversation.

Lena wasn’t sure if Kara had seen her or not but she could clearly notice how uncomfortable her friend was. Okay, she stopped to ratiocinate what was she doing? Her friend was nothing more than that: a friend. Then why was she scared of losing her like that? Besides, Lena had no idea if Kara was interested in women in that what, not even if she had even kissed one in her life. Then, why did she have a need to protect what was hers, if the blonde was never really hers?

She didn’t want to think about that now, she was going to do something she’d probably regret and then blame it on the hormones. Right.

“I noticed you’re pretty good with your hands?” Emily complimented.

“Yeah… guess I am” the kryptonian answered awkwardly.

“You could show that massage one day, you know” Emily stepped even closer and Lena lost her breath so suddenly she almost choked “as I said, I’m always alone and things start to get complicated by the seventh month.”

“It would be nice, I think,” she said uncertainly, “I can show you how it’s done on Lena” the Luthor almost laughed at the conversation. Of course, Kara was going to mention her, and her heart resounded with pride.

“Oh, sure” Emily sighed “I had another way in mind…”

“I don’t get it” Kara fixed her glasses, frowning “what other way?”

“Doesn’t matter. You like ice cream” the woman asked, “you know, chocolate is my favorite flavor.”

“Uhum” Kara nodded, with her mouth full, cleaning her lips with her tongue and immediately swallowing another spoon. Emily couldn’t help but notice every detail of the action and she smiled delicately.

“Do you want to taste some of mine?” and that was too much. Lena watched as the woman lift her spoon to offer the ice cream to her mouth.

On her best friend’s mouth.

“Darling, took you long enough” Lena stood next to her and place her arms possessively around her waist, feeling her body relax “am I interrupting something?”

“Of course not” Kara answered, glad to see her and oblivious to the tension between the two women: I was about to head back but Emily came to talk.”
“Talk, sure,” she said sarcastically and her eyes weighted on the woman, turning to a darker tone “may I know what it was about?”

“She wanted me to taste her ice cream” Kara explained “but I think it’s the same flavor as mine, so what’s the difference?” she frowned, which made her face so adorable Lena was almost distracted from her objective.

“Is that so?” Lena went back to staring at the woman. Emily averted her eyes, looking for an excuse to get out of there.

But Lena put a bit of chocolate ice cream to herself, even though she was satisfied. However, she was not going to let that woman get away with it. No, she was tired of it and was not going to lose her best friend to Mrs. Perfect there. She turned to Kara again and ate a spoon of ice cream.

“Do you want to taste the difference?” she asked Kara, who was still confused.

“Yes?” Kara answered hesitantly, that situation was so confusing and all she wanted was to have her dessert in peace.

“I’ll show you.”

The space between their bodies diminished and Kara felt her heart escape her chest. What was Lena doing? But, even with the nervousness and confusion, Kara desired that proximity, she wanted to be looked at with an intensity that could go through her soul. And that was what happened, and it happened so quickly she barely had time to process. Lena put one hand on her cheeks and her cold, chocolate-flavored lips touched her. Sweet as ever. Soft like nothing she had ever tasted.

Kara froze, unsure of how to react or proceed. She forgot how to breathe, how to think, and even how to kiss. Rao! Lena was really kissing her.

 

Rao!

The flavor was actually different and now she understood why. And it had nothing to do with chocolate.

When she thought about kissing her back, the floor trembled and her sensible hearing captured the sound ten times more intense, making her pull back in fear. The couples quickly held each other, trying to find the nearest way out and running around in panic. The attack hadn’t happened at Zara’s academy or store, but it was close. And Kara desperately wanted to get Lena out of there and assure her family’s safety. How was she going to do that without raising any suspicion?

“Lena, I’m going to get you out of here,” she said, hearing another explosion, not that far away “I need you to trust me and do as I say, okay?”

“Okay?” she agreed, terrified, one hand holding Seedy and another touching Kara.

They walked back inside as Kara dialed her sister's number and got Lena somewhere to sit and water to drink.

“Kara, what are you doing?”

“You need to calm down first, this much stress won’t be good for the baby” she ordered.

“I need to leave, I need to get her out of here!” Lena almost shouted. Zara tried to close the store in a rush, while people ran to their cars.

Once again, the ground trembled.

“Kara!”

“Trust me, I need signal” she lied “I’ll be right back.”

She ran to the backyard again and Alex finally answered.

“Alex I need you to take Lena from here and get her home safe,” she said “I can’t leave her here alone”

“We’re on our way, but I don’t think it will be safe to get her back to the apartment” Alex explained, panting, she was probably running “the center is chaotic and this attack doesn’t look like a coincidence.”

“Okay, take her to the DEO, but don’t let anyone lay a finger on her” she was dry “are you close?”

“Around the corner, you’ll hear the helicopter.”

And so Kara heard the familiar sound above her head, she ran back to the waiting room, finding Lena with teary eyes, holding her stomach protectively tight. Kara felt horrible for not being able to just fly her away from here. She wanted to tell Len she wouldn't let anyone hurt her, that nothing would harm her, that they would have to go over her dead body to lay a finger on the Luthor. The longer Kara thought about the danger they were in, the more her heart raced and her body felt like it was actually covered in steel, prepared to face everyone and everything to make sure Lena would be safe.

“Alex called me, she said she’s coming” Kara explained, helping the other woman on her feet, “she told me it’s some FBI job, so I need you to go with her while I’ll go with the helicopter on the back.”
“No, Kara no!” Lena grabbed her tight, holding a scared sob “what if you don’t make it?”

“Don’t worry about me, take Seedy out of here and be safe” she smiled, though her heart begged her to cry “Alex assured me your safety and told me she has to take you.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know” Kara opened the door and they ran to the street “just trust me, trust her, okay?’ Lena nodded and soon spotted Alex coming around the corner.

“Promise me you will be fine” Lena stared at her intensely and Kara held her look. Then suddenly, Kara kissed her, doing what she should have done earlier.

“I promise you, now go!”

Still feeling her chest compress with a bad feeling, Kara watched her friend run towards her sister, and then they were lost in the crowd. She couldn’t put words to what she was feeling, she didn’t know what her friendship was going to be now, but fear and anxiety grew inside her, a very bad feeling took over her body. And she didn’t want to find out what it stood for.

 

***

 

“Feeling better?” Alex walked into the small DEO room, carrying the snacks she had bought for Lena. Orders from her little sister “want anything?” she sat beside the bed and watched the other woman facing the ceiling, lost in her thoughts “Lena?”

“Yeah” she answered, sitting up “yes, I’d like something.”

“And what would that be?” Alex arched an eyebrow.

“There’s something strange happening to me, look” she reached for the plastic knife on the cupboard and turned to face the redhead. She tried to cut her palm, noticing the other woman’s eyes widen “now…” she showed her hand, and there was nothing. Not one trace of blood.

“This is…”

“Interesting, I know” Lena frowned “but it isn’t just this. I am constantly nauseated around specific people, like the child can sense who they are or if they can hurt me or if she’s just… jealous…” Lena sighed, finding that conversation ridiculous “I know it’s bizarre to say it out loud, but I couldn’t even take the blood samples because all needles broke when I tried to.”

They sighed simultaneously.

“And what do you want me to do?” Alex asked.

“I know you have a medical degree and I know you’re smarter than you look” Lena pointed out “I need you to help me take these exams, to make sure my…” she hesitated. Her eyes fell to her belly and her hands touched the fabric covering it, feeling the warmness it emanated “make sure my daughter is okay.”

“You know Supergirl doesn’t want anyone laying a single finger on you, right?” Alex smiled. Her sister was such a mama bear.

“I know and understand her reasons, but it’s my decision to make '' Lena practically begged, “there’s no reason for being four more months in the dark.”

“Okay, but any consequences will be your job to deal with, also you’re the one dealing with an angry superhero afterward” Alex pointed at her “okay?”

“Fine, let’s just do this before she comes…”

“Who?” a blonde woman suddenly appeared by the door, hair falling in perfect waves, body in its perfect shape “who are you talking about? Are you okay? Feeling better? Are you hurt?” she walked towards the CEO and analyzed every inch of her body, looking for any signs of hurt.

“Lena is fine” Alex assured, “but she had something she’d like to tell you.”

“Alex!” Lena turned to the agent furiously, “I thought you were my friend.”

“I’m just preventing the worst, Luthor” she teased “now stop being a baby, it wouldn’t look good in your evil curriculum.”

“Being a gossip girl won’t look good in your DEO curriculum” Lena grumbled, and sighed stubbornly, feeling the hero’s eyes on herself “okay, I asked Alex to run the medical exams on me because they didn’t quite… work.”

“What?” Supergirl's voice shook “you… how? What exams?”

“All of them” she confessed, “no needle or any sharp object can penetrate my skin ever since I got pregnant.”

Rao, that took Kara by surprise.

“I don’t want the DEO to have access to your blood…” Supergirl mumbled, “maybe we can do it some other way…”

“And what way do you suggest?” Lena crossed her arms and got up to face the hero, who didn’t answer “that’s what I thought. Would rather only find out if your daughter has some problem that we only find out when it’s too late?”

“What? No! Of course not!” she threw her hands in the air “I just… I don't want her to be treated… like some sort of experiment of a scientific project.”

“And you are going to make sure that doesn’t happen.” Alex stepped in “The same goes for me. I promise to keep it all in secrecy, okay?”

“Right” Supergirl, sighed, still bothered by the idea “how do you suggest we do these tests?”

 

The trio walked through the hallway, Alex guiding them to the lab and pointing a chair for Lena to sit. The agent couldn’t say she exactly knew what she was doing, but she did love a challenge and, when she paused to ratiocinate, it was the first time Alex was actually involved in the whole pregnancy situation during those five months. It never came to her that she was going to be an aunt because Kara rarely spoke about children, especially after they found out she wasn’t able to have them. Sure, she could become an aunt-in-law if her future wife had any nephews, but Maggie didn’t even have siblings. So it was a closed situation.

But Seedy was her niece and was going to be so loved if she stayed with her biological family. When Alex considered the possibility, her chest swelled with love, and her eyes were filled with tears: a little girl calling her auntie. So Alex took it personally to not let Lena doubt her capacities as a mother because she already was one and Alex would be devastated to lose another person in her family.

“Well, I need to make this protection that Lena got, disappear” Alex explained “I thought kryptonite might weaken her, perhaps. After all, this child also has your alien genes.”

“Absolutely not!” The superhero intervened “you’re not putting my daughter through any pain!” She was decided. Lena felt her body tremble with the strength and intensity of the way Supergirl pronounced ‘my daughter’.

“We don’t have any other options!” Alex pleaded “I can manage the dosage just like we do at the training room. It won’t hurt her.

“How can you be sure, Alex?” but Supergirl stood her ground “she’s just a baby!”

“What are those lamps?” Lena asked randomly, walking around the lab paying little to no attention to the discussion since they decided to ignore her.

“These are yellow lamps, they forge our Sun’s light and help Supergirl recover after more serious wounds” Alex explained.

“But wasn’t Krypton ruled by a red sun?” Lena wondered again, seeing the other woman smile. Yeah, she knew where this was going “theoretically speaking, Supergirl wouldn’t have her powers with it, would she?”

“How do you know this?” Supergirl crossed her arms and frowned, making Lena notice Kara and the hero had the same habit of wrinkling their nose when looking for answers.

“I’m a Luthor, I have my sources.”

“You don't sound friendly, right?” Alex smirked, “sounds more like a maniac trying to murder the city’s hero by founding out their weaknesses.”

“Every Luthor learns how to kill a Super, it’s a kindergarten subject” Lena enjoyed the dark humor “and no, I didn’t hack any secret system or something, I just googled it.”

“Fuck, Winn!” Alex sighed. She had told him a million times not to post that information online “anyway, I’m going to find us some of those lamps, I think they’re stashed in the deposit.”

“Very smart of you, Danvers,” Lena teased, smirking.

“What would I be without you, Luthor?” Alex winked, leaving a very confused Supergirl, curious about that interaction.

As she returned, Alex took off the normal lamps from the lab and put the red one in, knowing the baby wasn’t going to be the only one feeling weak. Lena also noticed the way Supergirl's figure changed, the way her posture, so strong and intimidating before, now looked human. So human that reminded Lena of someone. But the Luthor dropped that thought, burying that idea deep inside her mind. Weirdly, she felt vulnerable too, like some part of her vital strength was slipping away from her body and the rest of it was rushing to her womb.

“How are you feeling?” Alex asked, concerned, seeing her breathing difficulty.

“I feel this weird pressure in my chest, it’s like…”

“Your strength is gone” Supergirl finished the thought, staring at Lena with understanding eyes “it’s probably more intense for you since you’re human, but the baby feels it too and your body must be seeking help.”

“Let’s get this over with, then” Alex took the syringes and with absurd precision, took all the blood samples required.

Gradually, Lena noticed the way her pressure was dropping and the way her body was becoming numb. She never thought Supergirl could be weak or that something like the Red Sun could erase her powers like that. Everything she found out about the Super only made Lena's curiosity and need for more information grow. After all, that was going to be little Seedy’s reality and she didn’t want her to suffer or to be vulnerable to any dangerous exposition like that.

“There.” Alex was done and quickly turned the lights off. Both Lena and Supergirl suspired with relief “do you need some time?”

“Where did you take your sister?” Lena suddenly asked "she told me you would keep her safe but Kara doesn’t know about the DEO. What did you tell her?”

“I took her out of there” Supergirl lied, again, making her feel worse “I told her the FBI had to call me so I took her out of the helicopter and dropped her off at your place.”

“I don’t like keeping things from her, Kara is my best friend” Lena admitted to Alex, not noticing the way Supergirl’s body was tense.

“I’m going to tell her the truth, don’t worry” Alex stepped in fast, watching her sister carefully “she will know in time.”

“And was she okay?” Lena changed the subject again “was Kara safe?”

“Yes, I made sure she was safe” the kryptonian answered “I have to go, J’onn asked me to patrol the city before calling the day” Supergirl walked to the door, only turning around to see her friend casually chatting with her sister “be safe, miss Luthor, and take care.”

“Will do.”

 

***

 

The way home was quiet, even Lena’s thoughts were drowning in the silence. So many things happened in just one day that she was still trying to process it all. The class, the was Kara’s hands massaged her back, the fear of another person conquering the woman Lena had learned to love, the realization that Kara could fall in love with anyone. Anyone but her. However, what did that kiss mean? What was Kara trying to tell her when she kissed her before running off? And what was Lena thinking when she kissed Kara before that?

God! What if Kara didn’t want to see her ever again? What if she was scared of that action and decided to pull back?

 

Lena was content with the idea of being and just having her best friend, it wasn’t a bad thing and it didn’t hurt her. To be just friends was a hundred times better than not having her around. So why did she risk it? Why feel that ache in her chest when Lena knew Kara didn’t feel it too? Quiet tears streamed down her face, carrying her doubts and fears down her cheeks. She had so many questions, yet she feared so many answers. Lena wasn’t sure if she wanted them if she could handle being rejected once in for all. With other women, it didn’t hurt her, to be honest, Lena was actually glad to see them leave. But Kara?

Lena couldn’t handle it.

“Agnes?” Lena walked into her apartment and quickly noticed the lights were off, though the Luthor knew she had left them on when she left that morning “Agnes, I’m home!” She called again. That was when she noticed the stranger aura in the air and a figure facing her in the dark.

“Don’t worry, she is fine” a too-familiar voice cut through the tension “I locked her in the last room, the one full of children things.”

“Mother? What… what did you do to her? Lena tried to run to her dog but a pair of strong her grabbed her arms brutally, making the skin reddened and ache “let go of me! What do you think you’re doing?” Lena faced Lilian again.

“No, no, no” Lilian shook her head lightly “I’m the one needing answers and you’re going to give me all of them.”

“Really? How?” Lena grimaced, trying to keep her posture.

“It can be the easy way or the hard way, the choice is yours.”

“Where are you taking me?” she sighed, trying to get away from the two men holding her in place.

“Good girl” Lilian smiled in the dark “don’t worry, Lena” she walked to her daughter and touched her face fake nicety “I’m not going to hurt you but I can’t allow your mistakes to get in my way.”

The last thing Lena saw was her apartment door close behind her as her despair grew exponentially in her chest. She gave up on trying to escape, knowing it would be useless to try to fight her mother in that situation. Lena accepted that whatever happened, the priority was to protect the life inside of her.

Chapter Text

The sun had already set on the horizon, giving its place to the dark starry blue night, and Kara adored those bright dots. They made her feel closer to home. While she was patrolling the city, Kara decided to turn off her attention to the sounds and focus solely on her heartbeat. And it was beating out of time. Desperate, panicking. When exactly did her life begin to fall apart? At what moment had she lost control? She didn’t know. Truth was that, even though she was the quirky reporter that enjoyed surprises and didn’t like weights on her shoulders, Kara still preferred to keep a balance. It was safer this way, less frightening.

Five months ago, Kara would have never guessed this is where she’d find herself at. Just like two years ago she wouldn’t dream of being a symbol of strength, justice, and bravery for the city she loved and called home. Things change, people, actions, opinions, and even though Kara wasn’t a big fan of changes, some surprised her for the best. In two years she learned more about herself, about her emotions - although she was still trying to figure out how to deal with them -, she figured out her destiny, had to say goodbye to people she cared about, and welcoming in new friends. She learned more about her sister and helped her accept who she was, who she is. Those were good moments, unforgettable ones.

But changes always have two polarizing sides: positive and negative. Changes can be good or bad, it just depends on how you view them. In the last two years, getting to know Lena Luthor was what changed Kara’s life the most, it was her greatest incognito. She had lost count of how many times Kara defended her, saved her, watched her smile because she had a Super that supported her and that her best friend Kara Danvers had all the faith in the world in her. To have her in her life was more than Kara ever asked Rao for. Lena was caring, comprehensive, dedicated, and capable to move mountains for those she loved. Though Lena didn’t notice her own qualities, Kara made sure to have them safely kept in her heart, so if Lena ever doubted them, she would be the first one to make her remember.

 

‘Supergirl might have saved me, but Kara Danvers, you are my hero.’

 

Those words still echoed loud in her head, going all the way down her heart and making it ache. Who would have thought that a simple reporter like her, ordinary, common, completely normal - apart from the fact she was an alien - was a hero? She didn’t understand why Lena kept choosing Kara over Supergirl. She was the girl of steel, with superhuman powers, extraordinary abilities and so many other qualities that, from the eyes of other people, were miracles. But then, why did Lena think the shy girl with glasses was the real hero?

Well, Kara didn’t have an answer to that question, but for her poor heart, Lena Luthor was her hero. Even if the CEO couldn’t fly or break an entire building with just one hand. Even she didn’t notice her own charisma and emotional strength. Even though she was just human. Lena was her definition of a hero.

“Thank God, you’re back, where were you?” Alex questioned Kara as soon as she walked into the locker room “You don't look well” she said while putting the rest of her things inside her locker “c’mon, tell me.”

Kara sighed and sat on the small wooden bench, behind her sister.

“I… well…” she dwelled on her next words “I kissed Lena,” Kara said fast, making Alex drop everything she was holding on the floor.

“You… I… wait, you what?” the redhead turned to look at her sister.

“Actually, uh… she kissed me first and I… I wasn’t even expecting it, Alex!” Kara complained, “I was just enjoying my ice cream, which was delicious by the way and then Emily showed up and then Lena came and they talked about tasting ice cream flavors but they were all the same flavor and I was so confused…”

“Kara, focus!” Alex held her hands, interrupting them rambling “I didn’t understand a thing you just said.”

“Okay, sorry” she took a deep breath “Lena kissed me first and then…”

“You kissed her, yeah, I saw that” Alex smiled “so why are you freaking out” she sat down next to her “yeah, it took some time to happen, so much time I thought it might never happen.”

“Believe me, I didn’t think it was going to happen either” Kara fidgeted with her cape “but it did happen, and… I… I don’t know what to feel.”

“Do you feel bad?” Alex asked tenderly.

“No, I… I liked kissing her” she confessed, feeling her face burn “but it isn’t fair, Alex. I can’t do this to her, I can’t drag her into this mess of a life…I can’t…”

“What exactly, can’t you?” Alex held her hands tighter, trying to give her some kind of comfort.

“I can’t get involved with her and keep hiding my real identity” Kara lowered her head “it’s not fair, Lena deserves someone who is honest with her, someone who isn’t… like me” Alex could feel the pain within every word and she was not about to let her sister follow that line of thought.

“Kara, you pay attention to what I’m about to tell you” Alex looked deeply into her sister’s ocean eyes “did you ever notice how similar you and Lena are?”

“What?”

“Right now, I’m sure Lena is overthinking the same exact things as you. That she doesn’t deserve someone like you, that her best friend could do better and that she isn’t the right one.” Alex continued “ because you love each other so much you’re always putting one another over yourselves and that isn’t always a good thing Kara” she smiled “I may not know her as well as you go but the light I see in your eyes is the same I see in hers and if you two don’t deal with it the right way, you’ll miss a great opportunity for happiness” Kara frowned, trying to hold back tears “I know it can be scary, trust me, I’ve been there. If this had happened five months ago I’d tell you to give a lot of thought to it. But now you’re going to be a mother and Lena will be the other parent of this child.”

“She is going to be such a great mother, Alex” Kara whispered “I don’t want her to give up on our baby…”

“So keep doing your best” the redhead kept going “you can always believe Lena deserves someone better, but she doesn’t want someone better, Kara. She wants you, and do you know why?” the hero shook her head “because you were the first one to believe in her when no one else would. Because you made her feel valid, feel like a woman deserving of love, of friendship, and not just suspicion because she is a Luthor. I know that beginning a relationship, whether it’s romantic or not, based on a lie, is not good” Kara laughed drily “but once you tell her the truth, you can keep on being honest with her.”

“I’m scared of telling the truth and then everything changes” Kara stopped fighting the tears “with her, I can be only human, I don’t need to be the best, to be the hero. I’m just Kara Danvers, the reporter, her best friend. The only other person I feel this with is you, Alex, and it still took us a while to come to that'' her sister listened to it all carefully “But when Lena learns the truth, she’ll see the weight that I… and I… I don’t want to deal with this again. She’ll only see this orphan girl, abandoned by her parents and by the only person that shares her blood” Kara referred to Kal-El aware that Alex understood how much it pained her to not have her cousin by her side “have you ever loved someone so much that you can’t breathe? Because when I think that I can endanger her, that my secret identity is enough reason put her at risk…”

“Lena would never see you like that'' Alex denied “and she deserves to know your story, just like you’ll learn more about hers over time. But this will only happen if you allow it to and stop your fears from making a family” she sighed “answer me this: if you had the chance to go back and save your planet, would you do it? Would you save your family?”

“Of course I would, I’d do anything for them” Kara answered without hesitation.

“Then why won’t you do the same for the family you have now?” Alex was ruthless and Kara went quiet, she had never looked at things in that way “Lena, your daughter, me and your friends, we are your family. But Lena and this kid are now part of you, that baby is your blood and you’re not alone anymore. Clark may have left you behind, may have made you think you’re the only kryptonian left on Earth, but that’s not true anymore” Alex smiled “Fight for your family before you regret everything you could have done but didn’t. Being scared isn’t just human, Kara, it’s normal.”
“Do you think… I should try?” she asked, slowly.

“Well, if I don't then I might give it a try” Alex teased “Lena is pretty and I can be a wonderful mother too…”

“Alex!” Kara tried to contain a laugh “I’m anxious what if… what if I mess up? Rao! What if she doesn’t…”

“Lena will love whatever you do, so relax” Alex got up “let’s go home, Eliza is waiting for us and you owe me one.” She picked the rest of her things out of the floor and closed her locker.

“I couldn’t miss the class” Kara argued, “what kind of mother would I be if I did?”

“The ‘I should kiss my sister’s foot’ one” Alex retorted, making Kara roll her eyes “do you know how many times I had to dodge the marriage subject?”

“Rao… I don’t even know how I’m going to tell her…” Kara laid on the bench, taking her title as a drama queen “if she grounds me, how will I go to the classes?” Alex snorted.

“You were grounded just once, Kara” she laughed “and we’re adults, we don’t get grounded anymore.”

“Sorry to interrupt” Winn suddenly appeared on the door, panting, with his eyes closed “I everyone’s clothes, may I open?”

“What happened?” Kara asked, “opened your eyes, nobody’s naked.”

“Uh, good” he looked at them “we have a red alert on the screen and I think it’s… one of those problems.”

“Why didn’t anyone warn me of this?” Alex shouted, grabbing her things once again “where is J’onn?”

“We are impatiently waiting and Kara…” he turned to the hero with a concerned look.

“Winn, what happened?” Supergirl’s muscles tensed and her body trembled “Winn, who is in danger?”

“Lena” he almost whispered, “please, Kara, we need a plan before…”

But it was too late. Supergirl disappeared from the room and they heard the sound barrier being broken, alongside every breakable object around her.

 

***

 

Something was dripping, not very far away, or maybe her conscience was playing with her hearing. But Lena was able to estimate the distance traveled by the sound, the liquid’s flow rate, and perhaps even its velocity until it hit the ground. That was the way her brain reacted to times of fear and unsafeness, the way Lena escaped more destructive thoughts that scared her to death. However, it wasn’t always effective, Lena didn’t know how much time had passed since she was brought there or since she was taken from home, maybe one hour, maybe many more.

Agnes. How was the dog? How long was she alone now? How many hours of sleep did Lena have? And why did that place smell of rust?

She had so many questions. And no one to give her an answer. As she opened her eyes, Lena was blinded by a bright yellow light over her and realized her wrists were cuffed to the sides of the stretcher she was lying on. It took some seconds for her sight to come back and Lena inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying not to panic. While she was in a car, although she was blindfolded, Lena memorized every turn the car took and somewhat knew how long the ride lasted. It was far, she was hiding somewhere away from the city.

Lena also noticed metal tables beside her, with some broken needles and smashed scalpels. Suddenly, despair grew in her chest, and Lena looked down at her belly, still covered by the shirt Kara had given her, and breathed, relieved, as the elevation in her stomach was still there. Okay, Lena breathed, no panicking, calm down.

That was when she heard heavy breathing coming from behind her.

“You might want to begin explaining to me, why I suddenly can’t take blood samples from you” Lilian’s voice echoed and her skin shivered “It must be very interesting since, if I remember correctly, you were human some times ago” she laughed with disgust “fragile, humanly broken.”

“I should have known you would bring me here to impose your choices on me and not ask questions you’re curious about” Lena spat the words, trying to break her hands free “why did you cuff me? How long was I out?”

“Be calm” Lilian walked to the bed “it was just forty minutes and nothing I did worked” she confessed, “but it did help me analyze thoroughly what might have happened.”

“Oh, do tell me what you think you figured out” Lena tried to look confident, moving her body in a failed attempt to get away from her mother “since conversing normally is something you don’t know how to do.”

“Much on the contrary daughter, conversing is one of my best skills, though I admit I lack patience when it comes to your empty threats and persuasions” Lilian was ruthless “I just took a shortcut.”

“Are you going to tell me what conclusions you came to or not? Or are you going to keep me here longer?” she asked impatiently.

“I don’t know what your thoughts on my work are, but you should know by now that I know how to recognize precisely what problems I am dealing with. Always.” Lilian stepped away from the stretcher and took one of the broken scalpels in her hand “For years I have tried to understand Superman’s DNA, your brother helped me with it. Years and years, Lena not mere weeks or months. Years” she sighed “I may not have discovered everything I wanted to but…” she turned to her daughter, pressing the sharp blade on her arm “I know a skin of steel when I see it.”

Lena’s heart stopped, and in a couple of seconds, all her emotions became pure fear. Lilian knew the truth or at least part of it. Her eyes widened but she couldn’t stop looking at her mother, letting all her fright be known through the green irises.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Lena denies stubbornly, trying to buy some time.

“Oh, Lena, you’re smarter than that!” Lilian retorted “I tried to take your blood sample and no blade was sharp enough to even hurt one inch of your skin, your body is protecting you. Which leads me to the conclusion that this child isn’t human” Lena looked away, confirming her mother's suspicions “now I just need to prove my point.”

“What are you going to do?” Lena’s voice was trembling, showing she had crossed her emotional limits.

“There is only one thing capable of hurting a kryptonian.” the woman whispered, opening a dark suitcase, letting a neon green light escape.

Lena felt acid going up to her throat.

 

***

 

‘Kara where are you?’

Supergirl heard her sister's voice through the hearing gadget again but didn’t answer. Again. She had searched the city from north to south, west to east, incessantly trying to find her best friend. She could taste the bitter taste of despair in her tongue and her heart was barely keeping up with the speed. The hero ignored every call from Winn and didn’t stop to hear J’onn’s plan of rescue. At those moments, the brain reacts first but it is flooded with emotions that blind. That’s where the danger is.

Kara was blaming herself, letting the guilty smash her chest with absurd strength, violently taking her breath. She should have protected Lena, she should have known Lilian would come back, looking for her. She should have predicted this, she would have if she wasn’t caught thinking of other idiotic things. Guilt. That was precisely one of the reasons Supergirl was scared of telling Lena the truth. Fear of not getting there in time one day, of losing the parts of herself she had given her best friend through the years. Fear of losing her family again, in a blink of an eye, and not being able to stop it.

‘Please, answer me! You can’t do this without thinking!

“Alex, I can’t hear her” Supergirl meant the Luthor’s heartbeat “I can’t hear either of them.”

“Come back to the DEO, let me help you, please don’t do anything stupid.”

“There’s no time” she increased her speed “did Winn get anything?”

“We got a false signal and now…” Alex stopped for a moment “we got her! There’s a kryptonite signal just outside the city, heading northwest. There’s interference but we have a location.”

“Tell me the exact location,” Kara ordered.

“No, you can’t go alone, Kara. Do you hear me?”

“Alex, either you tell me or not, I am going,” Supergirl said, “but if you tell me, I’ll get there faster.”

“I’ll tell you but under one condition”

“I can’t promise anything…”

“Then I’m not telling you.”

“Alex! This isn’t the time for games!” Supergirl yelled.

“My team and I are heading to the place, but you have to promise me you’re sole focus there is Lena. You take her out of there as fast as you can and don’t come back. I don’t want either of you getting hurt!”

“Okay, I promise, now give me the coordinates.”

 

***

 

The electric shock that ran through her body could cut her member in half. Lena pulled the cuffs hard, feeling her wrist burn, but no harm was made. Not a single cut or red mark. She was grateful for it but at the same time, it only made her more desperate. Lilian held the cylinder with the kryptonite carefully, smiling maliciously at it and taking one part of it into her hands.

“The more you move the more this will hurt,” Lilian said in a sickening playful tone.

“No, no, mother, please no!” she begged, her cheeks wet with tears “she’s just a baby!”

“She?” the woman raised an eyebrow, stepping closer to her daughter “so it’s an alien baby girl?”

“Please, I’ll answer whatever you want, do whatever you want” Lena cried “don’t put that on me. She’ll feel pain, please don’t do this…”

“I need your blood, Lena” Lilian snapped at her “and I can’t get it while this still is strong enough to protect you.”

“No! Please don’t!”

Lena watched and squirmed as the green object touch her stomach and that’s when she exploded. It was like there was no noise around her but at the same time, her hearing was so sensitive that an insect flapping its wind could make her deaf. Her strength was strong enough to rip her veins apart, cut her insides and make her break through the walls. Pulling on the iron cuffs, Lena screamed louder than she ever had and broke free. The echo of her terror and despair cause every object in the room to fly away, breaking every glass around her.

Lilian was thrown by the impact, alongside the two masked men that ran into the room before the explosion happened. The tabled were on the floor, everything was a mess, and Lena stayed still on the stretcher, with her eyes fixed on the wall and sweat dripping from her forehead. Confusion and fear exhaled off of her, Lena didn’t know what had just happened, what she had just done.

Before she could process it all, giant concrete blocks fell on one of the men while the other back away quickly. An immense hole in the ceiling suddenly appear and flying through it, a familiar image landed. Red cape, blue uniform. Moments later, other DEO agents climbed down the walls and spread through the area

“I’m getting you out of here!” the hero’s voice warned her but Lena was still paralyzed by the shock to answer or simply nod “can you hear me?” their eyes met but Lena didn’t say a thing “Lena, I need you to nod if you’re listening to me,” Supergirl asked twice, on the ladder, Lena gave a weak nod “okay, hold on tight.”

Feeling a bit weak by the kryptonite radioactivity away from them, Supergirl left where she came and flew away, as fast as she could, relieved for getting there in time. But she knew Lena wasn’t well, her eyes warned her and her heart was beating too fast for any logical thinking at the moment. Lena’s arms were tight around her neck and that was enough for the hero to know that they were safe.

 

***

 

Supergirl landed on the Luthor’s balcony, still carrying Lena. With her fist, she broke the lock and walked into the house, heading directly to Lena’s room, letting the familiar smell of her friend’s perfume invade her lungs.

“Lena, can you still hear me?” the Luthor turned to her with empty eyes “I’m going to put in bed” Supergirl warned as she laid the body onto the mattress “I need you to talk to me, please.”

“I… I-I’m okay” she whispered quietly “I’m gonna be okay.” Lena breathed out and Kara felt her body relax as she heard her voice.

“I need to go back to the DEO” she lied “Kara is on her way, I’m going to leave the door open.”

Once again Lena stayed quiet and only nodded lightly, trying a weak smile.

In a few minutes, the CEO heard the door being carefully closed and a blonde figure, wearing glasses and simple clothes appeared by the bedroom door. Kara looked broken and her eyes were lost in the sight of her friend. Before any of them said anything, the sound of nails scratching wood filled the quiet, and then Lena remembered Agnes. She got up quickly to free the dog from the last room. Kara stood still, watching the Luthor run through the hall, and heard happy barks.

“Hello, my love” Lena kneeled and let the dog lick her face “are you okay? Hm” I know…” she patted her ears and gave her a gentle kiss on the nose “I know, I missed you too” she whispered, and then Agnes ran to Kara, circling her legs excitedly.

“I missed you too, Agnes” Kara got down and hugged the dog, shooting her eyes to the side to look at Lena.

She let Agnes run to the living room and the two women looked at each other, both unsure of what to say. Lena tried to keep a strong, imponent figure but she looked as if she was going to fall apart. Her hands were shaking and her legs struggled to carry the weight of her body, and when she tried to stand up, they gave in but her best friend's arms caught her in time. Giving her the safety she needed to crumble.

An anguishing sob escaped her lips, one she was keeping inside since she woke up at the Cadmus hangar, where her mothers looked at her and used her like she was a scientific experiment gone wrong. Lena hugged Kara tight and buried her face in her shoulder, letting the tears fall and stain the blonde’s shirt. Each breath in and out made her chest ache, the fear that her daughter was someone harmed haunted Lena’s heartbeats. Lilian had been close to causing permanent damage.

The apartment's darkness consoled the two women, and Kara allowed herself the cathartic feeling of crying too. She was controlling herself to not hold Lena too tight but the truth was, Kara wanted to hold her so tight, for so long, that they would be inseparable afterward. She let out the feelings that were suffocating and laid her head on top of Lena’s, gently stroking the long dark hair. They were her family, the family she was learning to love more and more every day and it was her duty to protect them. Kara remembered the kryptonite well, the sickening nausea hitting her body as she approached Lena, the way she almost gave in.

“You’re safe” Kara whispered, though she didn’t know if it was for Lena or for herself “it’s going to be okay…”

“S-she…” Lena hiccuped, hiding her face on Kara’s shirt “I… I al-almost… Kara…”

“I know” Kara let it escape, not caring about what she was supposed to hide or not “but it’s okay now” she hugged her closer, tighter “I was so scared of losing you…”

“I was scared of not making it” Lena whispered, afflict “I was afraid I couldn’t protect her… what if I…”

“Shhh, don’t think about it now” Kara stepped away to look at her in the dark “stay… with me, I er… I mean, in my place, please” Lena sighed, trying to process the request “I don’t want you to be alone” Kara whispered and hoped to herself Lena would say yes “I… let me take care of you…”

“Kara, I don’t want to overstep any line,” Lena said, still holding her “I don’t want to put this weight on your shoulder, I don’t want to be a burden to you.”

“You won’t, you won’t” she assured “just stay with me. I want you to be safe and… just…please” Kara was basically begging.

“Okay” Lena gave in, still hesitant “I’ll go.”

“Thank you” Kara hugged her again, inhaling every she could of her scent “can you take a shower on your own? Do you need help? Do you feel strong enough? Do you need me to do anything?” Kara spoke fast and felt her cheeks burn “er...sorry.”

“I think I can manage myself” Lena smiled “what about Agnes? I can’t leave her here.”

“Go take a shower, I’ll pack your things and hers, okay?” they stepped away from each other and both hearts complained at the small distance.

“Yeah, her leash and food are on that cupboard after the kitchen.” Lena said and as she tried to walk, the dizzyness hit her again “shit..”

“Let’s do it like this” Kara grabbed her arm for support and held her waist, helping her back to the bedroom “I’ll take you to the shower and you’ll leave the door open just in case you need anything, okay?”

“It’s not like I have any other choice” Lena sighed, tired, and let Kara help her to the suite.

After the bathtub was full of hot water and her favorite soaps, Kara left her alone, giving her the privacy to get undressed and take the long-awaited shower. Lena could still hear her friend drop some things in the kitchen with her usual clumsiness but it didn’t bother the Luthor. To be honest, having someone she knew and trusted was comforting and gave Lena enough security to try to relax. Her clothes were left on the cold ground and her skin shivering when in contact with the cold humid autumn air. She had forgotten to wear a jacket but it didn’t even occur to her.

So many changes had come with that pregnancy, however, deep inside her soul, Lena didn’t care anymore. She remembered the times she cried in front of a mirror at the sight of a body that didn’t belong to her anymore, one that was violated and now had to carry its consequences. But it wasn’t like that. Not anymore. As she looked into the mirror, all Lena could do was caress her belly and let the tear fall freely to the ground. She wished she could hear her daughter's heart now, to know if she was okay, if she was in pain or if she was exhausted like her.

Muffling a cry inside her throat, Lena got in the warm water and let it surround her body with softness, every inch of her skin thanking the contact. The sweet scent of lavender reached her nostrils, reminding Lena that she was home, away from her mother and the worst didn’t happen.

But that didn’t make Lena feel entirely safe.

“I’m so sorry, babygirl” Lena whispered, slowly washing the top of her belly. The love and tenderness were palpable “I hope you’re not feeling pain and, please, rest, okay?” she smiled between the tears “no one is going to hurt you, I promise. Trust me” she slipped her finger down her stomach and felt her baby there “I was scared too and… I thought I was going to lose you” she confessed, “mommy is here and you’re not alone.”
Lena continued to whisper tender words until she felt in her heart that her baby was okay.

“Do you like songs?” Lena asked, still lost in her thoughts but still touching her belly “the only thing I remember from my biological mother is her voice. During the first months after I was adopted, it was the only thing that would put me to sleep” she confessed, feeling stupid for sharing those things with someone that couldn’t understand her. But even though Lena was talking to herself, it felt good to say those things out loud “little by little, I forgot it, because I couldn’t be weak or vulnerable there, you know?” Lena let out a weak smile “I’m not a good singer but I do remember a song…”

And lost in the moment, Lena whispered a melody she kept in the depths of her mind, and soon she started singing it. It felt like the right thing to do like her daughter had had a tough day and now searched for comfort in her mother’s arms, for warmth, and most of all, for love. Lena never had that, she didn’t know how to comfort someone or what to do when a child is hurt. But inside of her, something was slowly coming to life, teaching her that she didn’t need a book on how to love. Kara, who had returned to the room, sat on the floor and cried as she heard the words coming from the bathroom.

‘Come stop your crying
It’ll be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight’

“I will protect you from all around” Lena sang hoarsely, feeling another one of her walls crumble to pieces “I will be here, don’t you cry…”

‘For one so small, you seem so strong
My arms will hold you, keep you warm
This bond between us can’t be broken
I will be here’

“Cause you’ll be in my heart” Kara sang quietly, but not too much so Seedy could hear her through the walls “Yes, you’ll be in my heart from this day on… now and forevermore.”

 

***

 

At half-past midnight they arrived at Kara’s apartment with an excited Agnes, running through the new space. Lena was wearing an adorable MIT sweatshirt and decided to let her hair dry on its own, giving it natural waves that fell on her back. She liked coming to Kara’s place, she felt better there than in her own apartment, though her own place was still the safest in the world for her. But, what did safety mean now? Where would she really be safe when the danger was her mother? Lena didn’t know and that lack of knowledge scared her to death.

Being with her best friend also made her hesitate, what would happen from now on? What were they doing? What did Kara really mean when she said ‘stay with me’?

God, her mind ached when Lena remembered the number of doubts and questions those five months had brought her. She tried her best to be rational when facing emotional problems, she chose to hide herself to be safe from suffering, from getting hurt, and yet, there she was, willing to pray for any divine being to take those feelings from her and make them disappear. It wasn’t fair, she couldn’t get lost in that hurricane. How was she not to lose herself?

“I’m going to order some food, okay?” Kara pulled her away from her thought, Lena wasn’t hungry, though she knew she should probably eat. Agnes had already made herself comfortable on the sofa.

“We need to talk,” Lena said suddenly, noticing Kara’s blue eyes grow darker “I... I can’t pretend everything is fine…”

“O-okay…” Kara agreed and guided them to the sofa, careful not to bother the dog. She felt her stomach twist and turn with anxiety “what… what do you want to talk about?”

“What I did earlier was a mistake” Lena confessed, facing the wall, unsure of what those words would mean to Kara “I shouldn’t have acted like that or felt what I felt. It was a mistake, Kara, and I don’t want it to get in the way of our friendship.

Silence. Kara felt her eyes fill with tears and her throat closed.

“A… m-mistake?” she whispered, trying to hide her disappointment “being with me… would be a mistake?”

“No!” Lena was quick to correct, reaching for her hands “no, it’s not that… I just…” she sighed “what I feel… is complicated and I can’t drag you to the middle of it. You deserve better, you deserve someone that is good to you, that isn’t this broken so they can treat you right.”

“How do you know what I need, Lena?” Kara questioned, turning her eyes away “How do you know… that you’re not the right person for me?” a lonely tear was shed “I like you, I like you so much and… I never had the guts to say it out loud because… because look at me” she laughed, drying her face “what am I, compared to you?”

“You… like me?” Lena asked “Kara, I thought I messed it all up, and… what do you mean? What are you compared to me?

“You can have whoever you want” Kara explained “every man on planet Earth would die for a chance so have you, every woman too” she sighed “I’m just a reporter. A simple, mediocre reporter that will never reach the level you deserve, Lena.”

“Don’t say that” Lena ordered tenderly “I’m not the best and my social status doesn’t make me unreachable. I’m pregnant, Kara, I’m not the same as I used to be. There are parts of me no one knows about, stories I will hide for as long as I can. How does that make me better than you? Besides, why do you like me? I can’t even… keep my daughter, why do you think I’m that person?

“You’re the best person to me” Kara admitted “you’re the most amazing woman I have ever met, the strongest, the most persistent. I don’t care that you’re pregnant because I want to be a part of Seedy’s life and I am sure you are going to be the best mother in the world… I just… I don’t want to be a mistake and… if that’s how you feel...|”

“No, of course not” Lena pulled her close, letting Kara lay her head on her shoulder and they moved, finding a comfortable position “you’re not a mistake, you never were, the way I acted was a mistake, Kara. I can’t do this with you, not in this simple uncaring way because you’re not just another person to me. You’re the most competent, the most loyal to truth reporter I have ever met, the one who’s not scared of exposing reality, and the one that doesn’t hide when things go wrong. Kara, the problem isn’t what you feel or who you are, it’s what I feel. I don’t know how to be loved, I don’t know how to express my feelings and I don’t know how to make this work” Lena confessed “and I’m scared of losing you inside this mess. I’m scared of not letting you in enough for you to know who I really am or letting you in knowing you will be disappointed. Because I’m not perfect

They stayed quiet. Letting the words sink in. Outside, the world was sleeping.

“I don’t know how to make it work either, Lena” Kara broke the silence “but in the future, I don’t want to look back and see I wasted my chance to at least try.”

“But what… what if we hurt each other? What if it goes wrong?” Lena looked down at their hands, intertwined fingers that fit so well, that it seemed right for them to be like that. Agnes’s heavy breathing was the only proof that this moment was real.

“Then I’m going to be there for you as your best friend” Kara weakly smiled “I made you a promise, Lena. I’m not going anywhere and I will always protect you.”

“Promise?”

“I’ll promise you a thousand times if I have to” she whispered. They stayed next to each other, listening to the soft raindrops hit the window and the air slowly getting cooler.

“Let’s not rush anything, okay?” Lena asked and Kara nodded “let’s just… take it easy, not forcing or imposing anything. No labels, dates, or situations that might confuse us. I mean… not that we can’t have dates, I just… don’t want it now or think about it now.”

“That’s fine by me” Kara agreed, but suddenly an idea hit her “if I make you an invitation, though it may seem very unusual… would you consider it?”

“Of course” Lena smiled and turned to face her. Her favorite shade of blue was there, intense and vivid, making the warmth in her chest grow. It was impossible not to fall in love with Kara Danvers, Lena knew. The question that wouldn’t leave her alone was why would someone like her best friend fall for her? Her, who was so broken, so lost “what is it?”

“Well… uh, my mother… you know? Eliza” Kara scoffed “well… she arrived at National City today and probably came to talk about thanksgiving because Alex and I always go to Midvale” she sighed, that wasn’t entirely true but it would be easier to face her mother if Lena was with her “I… I’d like to know if you’d want to come with me” Kara bit her lip, waiting for Lena to say no. Yes, she had great expectations and always wanted to bring her best friend there, to get to know the place she grew up as a teenager “you… you don’t need to say yes, just.. think about it…”

“Yes,” Lena answered calmly “if that’s okay with your mother.”

“Yeah, I understand, and… wait, really” her widened open “you.. you said yes?”

“Did you want me to say no?” Lena teased, trying not to laugh at Kara’s dumb face.

“No! Yes! I mean, no!’ she hid her face with her hands “I wanted you to say yes” Kara mumbled with embarrassment, making Lena laugh and hold her hands again.

“And that’s what I said” Lena kissed her fingers lightly and rested her face on the “now, can we please go to bed? I’m really not hungry and I don’t think eating this late is a good idea.”

“Yeah… me neither” she confessed, seeing Lena make a funny face “however weird this is” they laughed together, making Agnes look at them with tired eyes “how are you feeling? Any pain? Is Seedy okay?”

“Yeah, I think so” her hands went back to Seedy “I’ll schedule another consultation before the next ultrasound, just in case” she sighed “I hope she’s okay.”

“She is because she’s as strong as her mother” Kara put one hand on the belly room feeling the heat she emanated “do you think Seedy is sleeping now?”

“I don’t know” Lena shrugged, “talk to her, who knows…”

“Okay” Kara got further down and laid on Lena’s lap, facing her belly. Lena the blonde hair from her face, slowly caressing them and smiling at the scene “hey… I know you can hear me, so… I want you to know we were a little scared for you today” she looked at Lena, embarrassed but so happy “we’re waiting for you to move, but there’s no rush, you don’t need to do it just because we want it… but it would be wonderful to feel you, just a little bit” Kara admitted, “maybe I want it more than you mother” she chuckled.

“I think you’re right” Lena joked “babygirl, give her a chance,” she said lovingly, pulling her sweatshirt up and exposing her naked belly.

“I love you, you know that?” Kara said, charmed, closing her eyes and focusing solely on the two heartbeats she cared for “I love you as if you’re mine” she confessed, surprising Lena Kara heard both hearts race “I’m waiting anxiously for you..”

“Did you feel it?” Lena jumped and her jaw fell open

“Where?”

“Right here” Lena put her hand on the right lower stomach “keep talking.”

“Right” Kara nodded “I… I don’t know what else to say… Seedy, I really don’t know what to say but, pretty please just one…” then, a soft wave happened, pushing Kara’s fingers backward lightly “I felt it!” her smile grew bigger “Again!”

“Oh, God… I hate crying” Lena laughed, fixing her face with her arms “she moved, Kara! She's okay!

“If it keeps going like that your mom won’t handle four more months” Kara whispered and Lena snorted “we love you, Seedy.”

“Yes…” Lena agreed, amazed, letting that feeling flood every inch of her soul “we love you very much.”

Chapter Text

Getting up at sunrise that morning was the hardest thing Kara ever had to do. She sighed, annoyed, trying not to listen to the sirens from afar, and threw off the blanket, seeing Agnes suspire sleepy and move to make herself more comfortable. The sweet intense perfume was all over the sheets, coming from the extraordinary woman lying next to her. Long dark hair was spread over the pillow, falling over Lena’s serene face, while her right arm covered her head and the left one touched her belly in a protective position. Kara smiled at the funny position, her friend always preferred to sleep on her stomach.

Still feeling like ignoring her Supergirl duties, Kara smiled at the image of Agnes and Lena sleeping peacefully next to each other. When had her life become so loveful? However, she couldn’t stay and soon the DEO would start calling her. Using her super speed, the hero changed clothes and softly kissed Lena in her cheeks, promising quietly she would come back. Kara whispered ‘I love you’ to Seedy and thanked Rao her daughter was okay, fighting everything in her to not touch the belly, and patted Agnes' ears who didn’t bother to open her eyes. And so she flew away, though her heart stayed in that bedroom.

The situation took more time than expected, making Kara growl as she saw the sunrise at the horizon and hope Lena would still be asleep by the time she returned. Kara had a whole plan for the morning in her head, with everything listed and the breakfast menu is chosen, now that her friend was pregnant, her appetite had doubled sizes and now Lena ate in the morning like a normal human being. What kind of person only has black coffee and cereal for breakfast? Why torture yourself like that? The point was, Kara wanted to be present for their first day as ‘something more than friends but not necessarily girlfriends’, Rao was nervous.

On her way back, Kara dropped by the bakery and had to stop to give autographs - as Supergirl she never quite understood why people asked for it but she never said no to one - and got in the apartment by the bedroom’s window. Her face lighted as she saw Lena messily covered on the blanket, hugging the pillow with her body spread all over the bed. Agnes, who was somewhat awake, got up at the sight of Kara, already dressed in normal clothes, and jumped off the bed. Kara smiled and put one finger over her lips, asking for silence, and guided the dog out of the bedroom.

“Hey, girl” Kara whispered, getting down to caress the pet “did you sleep well, hm? Do you want some breakfast?” Agnes got excited and ran to the kitchen as if she already knew the place well “there you go” she filled the pot with dog food and let the puppy feast, “now I’m gonna make your mom’s breakfast and hope she doesn't awake anytime soon” Agnes turned to Kara “don’t look at me like that, I’m nervous enough already.”

Kara sliced some fruits carefully and made the darkest coffee she could, the way Lena liked, she also scrambled some eggs and chose yogurt and french toasts to go alongside it. Her favorite part was putting the donuts in the middle of it, watching the chocolate slide down to the plate. She hoped with all her heart that Lena liked the surprise. Not that it was super romantical or that Kara was trying to be romantical, she just wanted to please Lena, to show her that she cared and that everything that happened the night before meant the world to her.

Okay, being completely honest Kara definitely wanted to impress Lena and do everything couples did in the movies she used to watch as a teenager.

Kara walked back to the bedroom and caught a glimpse of Agnes heading to the living room, she left the breakfast on the bedside table. Lena was still in the same position, possessively hugging the pillow. Kara laughed to herself and laid down next to her, moving the hair from her face and trying to move the pillow from her arms, which wasn’t easy since with every pulls Kara gave, Lena held the pillow tighter, growing. At last, after two minutes of struggling, the young Danvers won the battle and replaced the pillow with herself, around the Luthor's arm.

“Hey,” she whispered, feeling Lena hold her waist tight and hide her face in her shoulder “we’re not working today?”

“Hm, hm” Lena groaned sleepy, still not moving. Kara giggled and hugged her back, kissing the top of her head.

The two hearts were now beating in harmony, moving them to ecstasy.

“Are we sleepy?” Kara asked but there was no answer, just calm rhythmic breathing “I… brought you something” she continued, trying to get away from her arms and failing miserably “are you not going to let me go?”

“Nope” Lena answered quietly “you took my pillow, now you’re staying” she smiled over the soft skin, glad Kara couldn’t see her blushing face.

“And why were you snuggling with my pillow?” she emphasized in ‘my’, kissing Lena’s hair again and moving a hand to her belly.

“Because you disappeared this morning and it smells like you” Lena moved her body and finally raised her head to look at Kara, getting a little lost in the blue of her eyes “and I missed you.”

“I disappeared for a good reason” Kara smiled and fixed the glasses over her nose.

“I hope it’s a great reason” Lena threatened “you don’t just abandon a pregnant woman, I’m pretty sure there are laws against that.”

“I didn’t know you were so dramatic, Lena” Kara teased, seeing her roll her eyes.

“Of course you knew” she cut it “what did you bring?”

“Your favorite donuts and Seedy’s yogurt” Kara smiled proudly, moving her fingers over the exposed stomach. Lena closed her eyes, fighting everything in her not to moan and hoping Kara didn’t notice the goosebumps on her skin.

Which did not happen, the warm touch from her hand caused her immediate frenzy. Fuck. She couldn’t get turned on now.

But it was impossible. The electric feeling ran through her body before Lena could stop it, making her pupils dilate and her skin shiver. Kara was slowly moving up and down her torso, contouring her waist and circling her stomach from inside out. Fucking hell. Lena had to bite her lips to keep any sound from coming out. It had been more than five months since she had been intimate with someone and, to be honest, her belly’s since was starting to get in the way of her self-satisfaction. Her body needed the touch, the kisses, the swear dreaming down, she wanted to lose her breath. But she couldn’t. Not yet.

Get a hold of yourself, Lena thought to herself, why do things have to be like this?

“Lena?” Kara frowned the way Lena thought was extremely cute, she found it strange the way her heart started beating so fast out of nowhere “are you okay? Your cheeks… they’re, er, red” she moved her hands from the belly and moved it to her face “is everything okay?”

“Uhum” was all Lena could answer “it’s just… pregnancy stuff” she scoffed, sitting up with half a smile.

“You can tell me, if you want to” Kara got up too and got the breakfast from the bedside “you can always tell me what you’re feeling, I really just want to help and…” she chattered while displaying the food in front of Lena “I don’t mean to seem invasive, I just…”

“Kara, dear, breathe” Lena smiled tenderly, holding her hand and intertwining their fingers “it’s okay, it’s not a big deal. Anyway, why don’t you read me what you found out about Seedy?”

“Okay!” she cheered up “well, alright” Kara scoffed. Opening the app on her phone while Lena attacked breakfast “your baby is now the size of a bell pepper” Lena frowned, she hates bell peppers “she is approximately 14 centimeters now and weighs around 200 grams. During the ultrasound it will now be possible to see her kick, suck on her toe and even move around.” they smiled together “Your weight gain is evident now, your usual clothes will get tighter and your nipple areolas will begin to change size” Kara felt her cheeks burn “it’s time to get the baby’s room ready, click here to see some tips.”

“Well, this app is very smart” Lena nodded while eating a strawberry off the plate “some of my clothes don’t pass my waist anymore” she reached for a donut “oh, Rao! This is so good!” Lena let it slide as she felt the chocolate melt in her mouth. Kara squeezed a toast too strongly and it became dust.

Rao? Lena said, Rao?

“Y-you..” she was shocked “what… what did you just say?”

“Oh sorry” she swallowed the food and took a sip of coffee “I was doing some research about Seedy’s other mom and found out that, in Krypton, the red sun that reigned the planet was considered a divine being named Rao. I didn’t find much information about the religion, not that I’m a religious person but there are so fascinating things surrounding it” Lena explained with an amazing light in her eyes “also every time I say that name is like a good energy takes over my body.”

That left the kryptonian speechless. Her religion and beliefs were extremely important to her, it was what kept her planet alive inside her, what kept the memories of her friends and parents alive. It’s not an easy thing to carry the remaining memory of an extinguished nation, to be the only one that remembers what life there looked like, how it felt. Every time Kara felt alone, abandoned, or emotionally overwhelmed, she sat down on her living room’s floor, lit up a couple of candles, and prayed the words her father had taught her when she was little. Meditating, praying, or just keeping quiet for brief minutes or maybe hours helped her find a balance to stay strong.

But it had never crossed Kara’s mind that this child was now going to carry that legacy alongside her. Furthermore, Lena, her best friend, was truly interested in teaching her daughter a culture she didn’t understand or knew a thing about. She held back the tears and formed in her eyes and took a deep breath, fighting the need to hug the woman in front of her.

“Although I wish there was more information in the website I found” Lena continued “though the material is scarce, I think this child will be able to learn about her other side” she smiled “are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah, yes” Kara shook her head, trying to focus “I… uh, I think what you’re doing is awesome, it really is…” she scoffed nervously “it’s complicated… when you’re the last one in your family and… well, have to keep the memory alive on your own.”

“I can’t even imagine what that must be like” Lena finished the breakfast and cleaned her lips with a napkin “you know more about it than I do, for always being with Supergirl.”

“Yeah… she tells me about it” Kara confirmed, lowering her eyes.

And so they gathered the dishes and brought them back to the kitchen, Lena insisting to wash them. Agnes greeted her with excitement, jumping on her legs begging for a pat in the head. After they finished cleaning the kitchen, Kara went to the bedroom for a change of clothes while Lena made her way to the bathroom for a quick bath. Their habits and routine automatically intertwining without them noticing, moving as if they were used to mornings like those, with breakfast in bed, morning small talks, and happy ways to begin your day. While Lena occupied half the bathroom sink with makeup, her hair still dripping, Kara brushed her teeth and looked at the woman next to her through the mirror, amazed at how she looked so beautiful without even trying.

And so they left the apartment together, leaving Agnes with a pot full of food, another full of water, and the kitchen lights on, in case they were late. Lena called her driver and after a lot of insisting, Kara let him drive her to Alex’s place before taking Lena to work, before leaving, Kara scheduled a lunch for them at CatCo in a few hours.

 

***

 

The tension in the air was palpable and neither Alex nor Kara had any idea how that moment was going to go, how they were going to explain the mess it was made in only five months. Sure, no one could foresee how their world was going to turn upside down in such little time, although five months are not that little time. The last time Eliza visited them, she got to know Maggie and her youngest daughter was still single. Mrs. Danvers was aware of her lack of presence in her daughters' lives, but even though she wanted to be there for them more, it was impossible. Both girls worked, had busy love lives and a routine that Eliza couldn’t keep up with. Yes, she missed them very much but she had to accept the hard truth: Alex and Kara were adults now.

Besides, after Jeremiah’s death, Eliza drowned herself in work and the only time she heard from her daughters was at the weekend when she called without fail. That was how she learned about her oldest daughter’s engagement and her youngest daughter's new boyfriend.

But now that she was there, she could tell something was wrong. A lot was wrong. Mostly because neither girl wanted to be the first to talk.

“You first” Kara turned to her sister, breaking the tension.

“Me? Why me?” Alex widened her eyes, jumpy. Eliza crossed her arms patiently and waited “you’re the one going to be a mom here!”

“But you’re the one who broke off an engagement!” Kara argued, “plus, you’re the oldest.”

Okay, that was a mess.

“You’re pregnant?” Mrs. Danvers outnoised them and they went quiet.

“What? No!” she denied “I’m not pregnant, mom.”

“She knocked up her best friend” Alex smirked

“Ugh, I hate you so much!” Kara groaned and threw her body on the couch, pouting “I didn’t knock up anyone, when you say it like that it sounds like I have… er, you know…” she blushed and pointed to her pants “that.”

“Okay, okay” Eliza got up “first of all, Alex, how many times did I tell you not to gossip about your sister to me?” she arched a brow, making Alex shrink into the couch “and second, I want to listen to both of you, one at a time, starting with you” Eliza pointed to the redhead, who opened her mouth to protest but was interrupted “Ah, Ah, you’re starting and that’s the end of it” she sat down again “and don’t even think of excusing yourselves to save the planet or something. I talked to J’onn and he knows I’m here.”

“Mom!” Alex complained, but her mother’s look warned her to just say what had happened with every little detail “okay… I’m not getting married anymore.”

“Darling, I understood that” she smiled “what I don’t understand is the reason why the sudden change. What happened?” Alex averted her eyes to the floor and Kara held her hand softly, trying to give her strength.

“Maggie and I… well, we loved each other but we had never talked about kids” she confessed, taking a deep breath “after… after something happened, the subject came up and we realized we didn’t agree on it. I thought I could leave it aside, let it go, and accept I could be happy with just her, but…”

“But your biggest dream was always to be a mom” Eliza finished her sentence, moving to the edge of the chair and holding Alex’s lonely hand “and no, Alex, you shouldn’t give up on what you want to please someone else.”

“Now I have neither” she sobbed quietly “ and I… I don’t know what to do if I made the right call if I got ahead of myself.

“Alex, can you picture yourself five or ten years from now, not being a mother,” Eliza asked carefully and Alex shook her head “so that is enough. It will hurt now, it will bother you and, of course, you are going to miss her. In love, we have to learn to let go of certain things, but there are things we won’t ever be able to give up and we have to accept that.” she sat next to her daughter, letting her cry on her shoulder “I’m sorry you had to make that decision.”

“Me too, mom” she whispered. And so some minutes passed, Eliza still comforting her oldest baby and Kara holding her hand tight. Kara’s heart ached, seeing her sister so sad and broken, she wanted to help, to do or say something that could make it better. But she could find nothing that would fill the emptiness in her heart.

“Kara, please explain to me what your sister meant with ‘you’re going to be a mom’” Eliza turned and the blonde felt her body tense. Oh, Rao! How was she going to explain this mess? “I thought you were dating Mike.”

“Er… I was” she scoffed “until I had to send him off the planet…”
“Words, dear, use words, not your hands” Eliza smiled, knowing the kryptonian always lost her track of thought and ended up gesticulating more than speaking “and deep breaths.”

“Right” Kara sighed “Mike, he… he wasn’t exactly the time of person who did me good” she confessed “our relationship had its ups and downs, more downs than ups actually and it was making me crazy and making me think of breaking up since he said some things that made me cry and I…”

“Breaths, Kara” she reminded her again. Alex giggled quietly

“Uh, sorry” she frowned “Rhea, his mother, showed up here and used Lena to open a portal, where other daxamites could come in” Kara explained more thoroughly “but turns out the daxamites are old enemies to the kryptonians and she did not like the fact that we were dating. So, Rhea kidnapped Lena and Mike and took them to her ship, she wanted them to get married and make an heir to the Daxam throne.”

“Lena, your friend Lena? The Luthor?” Kara nodded “right, and she didn’t know or suspected anything?”

“No, and it was in that invasion that the mess began” she sighed and looked for Alex’s eyes for support “Lena was able to save the world, again, but the price of it was that no daxamite could remain on Earth because of the lead thrown on the atmosphere. So Mike or better Mon-El had to go” Alex squeezed her fingers and smiled, encouraging Kara to continue.

“And how did you feel about that?” Eliza carefully asked, aware that her daughter didn’t do well with goodbyes.

“At first, I… I don’t know” she was sincere “I was angry, upset, and worried, but at the same time… I was relieved” Kara sighed “He wasn’t good to me, didn’t respect my decisions or my space, it was… so hard to make him understand my side…”

“You didn’t love him” her mother concluded, “and even if you did, you can’t expect love to change someone, darling.”

“Yeah, I get that now, I think.”

“Love is a powerful feeling” Eliza explained “but change is personal, something only you can do to yourself. As much as you love someone, you can’t expect him to change because of it. Mike was the only one who could change himself, it wasn’t and it isn’t your fault that he didn’t change.”

“You’re right, thanks mom” she smiled “but that’s not the end of it.”
“I even stopped crying” Alex teased and snorted as she saw the look on Kara’s face “c’mon, tell her the big news.”

“Uh… er, I don’t know… how to say it” Kara swallowed. She was so nervous she swore she was sweating “Rhea, she… she really wanted an heir and so.... er, she took Lena’s and Mike’s DNA sample to…"

“To generate a life, as they did in Krypton” Eliza completed, rushing the story.

“Yes, right” Kara avoided both her sister’s and mother’s eyes “turns out that the genetic sample she had from Mike came from a strand of hair that was in his clothes, and well… that strand of hair was actually mine. When I learned about that plan, I didn’t think that… that Rhea was really going to go through with it, Rao! It was… such a horrible thing to do to Lena… she…” Kara sighed “she wasn’t even understanding what was happening and felt so guilty about the mistake she made.”

“Lena is pregnant,” Eliza said, the blonde nodded “and it’s your child” she nodded again

“Is this the time we pop the champagne?” Alex teased, trying to break the ice

“I’m sorry, I know I should have stopped it, but I… I didn’t know! Rao!” Kara began to panic “I’m sorry, I’m going to fix this, I promise and…”

“Honey, dear, I’m not mad or disappointed in you” Eliza smiled tenderly and asked Alex to switch places with her sister “I know there was no way to stop or even find out about this it. What is done is done and now you have to deal with the consequences. Tell me, how is your friend?”

“Lena is okay, considering everything” Kara breathed out, relieved “at first it was… devastating. I panicked and disappeared for almost two months, while she… I don’t like remembering what I did,” she admitted.

“Okay, if you don’t like remembering it, you don’t have to, but did you apologize?” Kara nodded yes “good because pregnancy is no paradise, especially the way it was imposed on her. The correct term would be abuse, Kara and you have to understand that this word weighs a suffocating ton for those who carry it."

“There’s more, a lot more” Kara whispered, letting a single teardrop fall, too fragile to keep talking.

“Lena didn’t abort it but she wants to give the child up for adoption” Alex explained “and well, to her, the baby’s other mother is Supergirl” Eliza frowned, losing the thread of the story.

“So Lena doesn’t know your secret identity?” Kara didn’t answer “and why haven’t you told her? You don’t trust her enough?”

“And here we go” Alex rolled her eyes.

“I do trust her, a lot,” Kara said “I don’t care if her last name is Luthor if her brother and mother are murderers, Lena isn’t like her family and now she is carrying my daughter.”

“A name doesn’t say anything about anyone” Eliza agreed “I understand your side.”

“You do?”

“Kara, when you were given to me by your cousin, all I saw in your eyes were fear. You were a thirteen-year-old girl who had been lost for twenty-four years and then left on a planet for a duty that had already been done. The terror in your beautiful blue eyes was too big for such a small girl and I feared it wouldn’t ever leave you” she explained “but, as you grew older, that fear grew smaller, hiding in deeper parts of yourself, and even knowing everything scared you, I never met someone as determined as you” Eliza gently stroked her youngest daughter wet cheek, remembering their old happy days “turns out I’m seeing this fear in your eyes again, Kara. The same terror” Kara sobbed, letting all her all fall down.

“I- I don’t want to lose her, mom” she hid her face in her shoulder “I can’t l-lose everything again.”

“I know darling, I know…” Eliza stroked the blonde hair “but listen to me, please” her voice sounded sweet, full of love “if you love her, then tell her the truth. Because your parents didn’t do it and it cost so many people’s lives, including yours. Lena and your daughter don’t deserve to live without knowing, the same way as you did and you’re the only one who can fix it. Be the mother you wanted to have, be the hero you always fought to be but also be honest and truthful with yourself” she kissed her forehead “you can be weak, you can cry and get hurt, just don’t let your fear keep you from living.”

“Thank you.” Kara smiled between tears.

“You’re welcome, now, just let me meet her,” Eliza said lightly “and welcome her into the family.”

“We’re not dating” kara quickly said “I… we’re not…”

“Oh, sure” Alex groaned, “said Miss ‘I kissed Lena’.”

“Alex!” Kara widened her eyes

“And you’re going to be the grandma of the year, how does that feel?” the redhead poked her mother, who rolled her eyes.

“Alexandra, when are you going to learn?” Eliza laughed “and I want both of you in Midvale for Thanksgiving and I don’t want any excuses. And Kara, invite your girlfriend too.”

“Mom! Ugh… we’re not dating!” Kara pouted, throwing herself into the couch.

“You’re not dating but you’re having a child together” Alex teased “why can’t you follow the correct order of things?” she smiled proudly at her joke while Kara growled into a pillow.

“Alexandra, enough” Eliza intervene “now, Kara, tell me everything about my granddaughter.

Kara’s smile might have as well irradiated through the room, her joy making her chest inflate with pride, she told them everything about Seedy. Not leaving any details out.

***

 

Autumn’s cold was colder that morning, accompanied by rainstorms that came and went and hard winds that punished the orange leaves on the streets. But, however low the temperature was dropping, Lena didn’t even need a heater in her office, still, she turned it on as she came in so Jess wouldn’t be wary. It was in days like this that Lena’s level of stress peaked and her hunger disappeared, leaving her alone to manage piles and piles of paper, documents to analyze, projects to approve, and investors to investigate. Not that she was complaining, it was what she loved to do and chose as a living. To be president of a well-known, strong company like L-Corp gave her the feeling of being somewhat of a hero.

Because, all the good she could do regarding her work, Lena did it, changing her legacy as a Luthor in the world.

The meetings were excessively exhausting, especially because it was getting harder to stand up for long periods in the heels she used to wear. Maybe it was time to change her habits, to give up on certain pieces of clothing in her closet. By that month, her pregnancy could no longer be hidden by large shirts and comfy dresses, it was visible and palpable. Lena Luthor was pregnant. Which did not result in a happy reaction from the partners, much less from the company’s committee members, alongside L-Corps stocks. The comments were actually less bad and painful than Lena thought it was going to be, none of them got into her, but she had never gone through so much sexism in her entire life.

Of course, L-Corp strictly maintained fair employment laws to every single employee, assuming they had all their rights and making sure the norms could offer enough support in cases of need. Which included maternity leave and now Lena understood the importance of protecting women’s employment rights, the world was certainly a man’s place. Besides, Lena always made sure to check, in person, floor by floor, if her employees were being treated well if they were happy. It was pure logic, if the work environment was good, production doubled and if the employee were happy, she wouldn’t have to deal with possible resignations in the near future. Pure psychology, which, by the way, gave the Luthor the bright idea to hire a psychologist to each department in L-Corp, suppressing every need the human being deserved

The complicated part of it was dealing with men alleging their support when they were really looking for a possibility to stab her in the back. No, dealing with her people was something Lena was trained forever since she was little to endure, always keeping her posture and never letting insecurity show. That wouldn’t change just because she was pregnant. The difficult part was keeping photos from paparazzi to end up in gossip magazines, who loved to talk about her private life. The journalists and gossipers were dying to know who was the father because Lena wasn’t doing external conferences or central square speeches anymore. They tried every way they could, surrounding her on her way out of L-Corp, shouting invasive questions.

Jess, her efficient secretary, called the company’s security team and two of the men were now responsible for accompanying Lena wherever she went while she was at work. She no longer could go to the parking lot or go to other lab buildings without a patrol behind her. And, of course, someone had found out about Lilian Luthor’s latest visit to L-Corp and published it in some magazine, making her not-so-simple life get even more complex. As revolting as it was, Lena Luthor never lost posture. Never.

And if there was something she was going to teach her daughter was that no one could tell or demand what she had to be or do.
“Jess, cancel the ten o’clock meeting for me and transfer it to three o’clock please” Lena requested, leaving the room and observing the security guards promptly positioned themselves next to her. Which profoundly pissed her off. “I’ll be back for Mr. Yoshida before the meeting.”

“Yes, Ms. Luthor” Jess took note “should I call your driver?”

“I already did it, thank you” she smiled politely and went down the elevators, aware of what was expecting her on the other side.

The flashes were always directed at the face as if her green eyes could give some information that her lips had secrets on their surface. Lena was grateful for the rain, so she could wear an overcoat that did a fine job hiding her belly. All this privacy invasion and disrespect only made Lena more sure that giving her daughter to adoption was the right decision. She couldn’t impose this exposition on someone so little, someone that couldn’t talk or defend herself. But a new feeling began to take over her chest every time she thought of this possibility.

Giving up her only daughter.

It hurt more than Lena could put into words and she would never admit out loud that her mind was starting to change.

“Miss Luthor, how are you going to be president of L-Corp and raise a child at the same time?” someone in the crowd yelled.

“Who is the father of your son?”

“What does Lilian have to do with the hangar’s explosion and why was it registered under L-Corp's old name?” someone else asked.

The security guards helped her make her way to the car and everything went quiet once the doors closed.

 

***

 

The sound of her heels echoed loudly through the DEO corridors, hitting the walls and making that walk seem more intimidating than it was. No agent dared to divert their eyes to the Luthor, much less smile in greeting. Her well-done ponytail moved on her back and her posture was scaringly straight. Also, everyone, there was aware that the most powerful woman of National City was pregnant with the city’s superhero, which was enough for there not to be any jokes or commentaries involving the two.

“Winn” Lena called the boy who observed three computer screens at the same time while playing with a toy gun “where is Alex?”

“Lena!” he dropped the toy and almost fell from the chair “Jesus Christ, did you have to sneak in on me? God! I almost died!"

“Don’t overreact” she rolled her eyes.

“Me? Overreact?” he got up and guided the CEO down the stairs “no one even breathes when you’re here, Lena.”

“Not my fault” she shrugged “your hero is the one who has to control her feelings.”

“Ha” Winn laughed ironically “the fear they have of Supergirl doesn’t come near the fear they have of you, Lena.”

“May it continue like this, then” she smirked, making the boy look at her with terror.

“Jesus, don’t look at me like that” he walked faster and reached one of the department labs, finding Alex focused on one of the microscopes “your friend is here.”

“Lena is not my friend,” Alex said without moving her head from her focus “she’s here to be interrogated” Winn froze in place. He never admitted out loud but the Luthor made his spine shiver.

“What did she do?” he asked, moving not so discreetly away from her

“Oh, believe me” Lena responded, “you don’t want to know.”

“Okay, I think I heard J’onn calling me” he reached the doorknob “I- I gotta go.” and disappeared.

Alex and Lena stared at each other and cackled.

“You’re pretty convincing, agent Danvers” Lena compliments, moving to her side.

“You’re acting talents are good too, Luthor, just not better than mine.” she teased.

“You’re good at faking, not acting” she retorted, making the other woman smirk “you’d make a good Luthor.”

“Are you proposing?”

“In your dreams, Danvers” Lena laughed “but I must say that, unfortunately, it wouldn’t be possible.”

“Of course, Kara would kill me, and if there is one thing I care about is my life” Alex teased again, seeing the Luthor blush “to what do I owe the visit?”

“I have to take the exam results to the next ultrasound and I also need your help” she sighed “there is something strange happening to me and I don’t know what to do.”

“I think I know what it may be, but tell me what are the new symptoms” she sat down and Lena did the same, taking off the overcoat feeling suffocated by the heat

“I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like I’m getting stronger and stronger and…” Lena shook her head “I broke free from handcuffs with my bare hands, Alex, and when I screamed… everything around me broke” the agent listened carefully, taking mental notes of everything “Lilian tried to touch the kryptonite on me and I panicked.”

“I get it, and any mother in your place would react the same way,” Alex said “it has been proven by psychologists and scientists that, when a mother seeks its child in a dangerous situation, she uses an emotional strength that we’re barely able to get a hold of. It had more to do with the trigger that sets off that despair inside you, you know?”

“So you think I might have been that?” Lena frowned.

“No, I’m saying it might be a part of it, but when I analyzed your blood, I noticed it doesn’t follow the same normal composition for humans anymore” Alex explained, “take a look.”

Alex got away from the table and pointed to the microscope, putting the slide with Lena’s blood sample on it and let the Luthor adjust the focus.

“What are these star-like cells?” Lena asked, intrigued “they’re aggregating to each other.”

“These are the same cells that compose a kryptonians blood” Alex search for another slide and oil immersion “Opposite to our cells, that are roundish or have specific shapes to its functions, like the epithelial or nerve cells, the kryptonians’ are all like this, the blood ones” the CEO stepped back and looked at the redhead “somehow this child’s blood mixed with yours.”

“Is that bad?” Lena sat down again.

“I don’t know, probably not, we’re in the fifth month and you haven’t presented any symptoms put your health at risk” Alex changed the slide and put a bigger focus on it “look at this DNA sample I took” Lena obeyed “look how the genetic material had some space where darker shapes are forming.

“But that is her DNA, right? Not mine” Alex nodded “it’s like it is interfering in my genetic composition without really modifying it.”

“Yes, and I believe I know the reason for it,” she smiled proudly.

“And that is?” Lena crossed her arms, anxious.

“Your daughter is protecting you” Alex was sure “she knows how important you are and is transferring what she can to your body. Your strength, your skin, and even your scream. It’s her powers ensuring your safety."

“That’s… I- I… that’s not possible” Lena murmured, feeling the weight of the revelation sink in her chest. Her hands went down to her stomach and she looked at it, scared.

Her daughter was protecting her.

“I can prove it to you if you want” Alex shrugged “we can take another blood sample and compare it to the last one, you’ve been under more stress, I’m sure the number of kryptonian cells in your blood doubled."

“No, I…”

“And there’s more” Lena let a ‘holy shit’ escape and sat down “I took the liberty of taking some texts, with a hypothesis that came to me a few days ago while I was studying your genetic material” Alex spoke excitedly, finding that science talk a whole lot of fun. Lena agreed “When I manage to get some blood samples from Supergirl, I always run some basic tests, mainly to know how her cells have been reacting to the yellow sun radiation. So, one day, I decided to use kryptonite, to know what exactly happened at a microscopic level and I had the obvious result."

“Cell death.”

“Yeah, cell death” Alex confirmed “they simply melted in place” Lena felt her body shiver and her thoughts went straight to her daughter “it’s like drinking sulfuric acid, it corrodes your inside, but the chemical reaction is faster and the effect more catastrophic."

“Where are you getting at, Alex?” Lena rushed.

“I tested the same kryptonite in your blood, expecting for at least the alien part of your blood to have the same reaction” she continued “but, that’s not what happened. When I put the kryptonite sample in your blood, the human cells united to the alien ones, creating some sort of barrier, expelling the radiation."

“Wait, hold on” the sound of Lena’s brain working was almost audible “are you telling me that, if the combination of my DNA with Supergirl’s is what is happening to me, then…”

“That’s right” Alex smiled “Eureka!”

“Oh, God.”

“Your daughter is the first kryptonian immune to kryptonite.”

 

***

 

“Waiting for anyone especially?” James leaned on the glass door that leads to CatCo’s balcony “I like the flowers.”

“Thanks” Kara sighed nervously “do you think it looks like a date? Because I just invited her to lunch and I don’t want to surprise her with a date but I don’t know how to make this look like it isn’t a date.”

“Kara, breathe” he laughed “it’s the Luthor, right?”

“Is it that obvious?” Kara blushed, fixing her glasses “and don’t say it like that.”

“It had been obvious for a couple of years now” he smiled “since you defended her for the first time. And she is a Luthor, she knows that.”

“She has the name but she isn’t like them” Kara was getting tired of repeating that “and it’s going to be my daughter’s last name too.”

“You know what Lex did to your friend, who is your cousin, by the way,” James frowned “are you sure you want this? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I appreciate your concern, but it’s unnecessary and unfounded” Kara responded, finishing placing the plates on the table “Lena is my best friend and the mother of my daughter and I wouldn’t choose anyone else to play that part.” Kara said on instinct and, when she turned to the man, he looked offended and upset “I… sorry, I didn’t… I didn’t mean that James, I just…”

“It’s fine, Kara” he laughed it off, showing it was clearly not fine “we didn’t have enough to think about that kind of stuff, don’t worry.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you” she was sincere “we tried, but… it didn’t…”

“Kara, I....” Lena showed up by the door, and, noticing the weird atmosphere, didn’t come in “sorry, am I disturbing? I can wait” she frowned.

“Lena!” Kara smiled brightly “no, of course not. James and I were just talking” Kara turned to him.

“You two have a good lunch, I need to go back to work” he walked away, leaving Kara worried about what she said.

“Are you okay?” Lena asked, wary “James looked… bothered.”

“James is a good guy, but it’s complicated” Kara brushed it off and pointed to a chair “are you hungry?”

“Starving” she answered, “I still have two meetings this afternoon and I couldn’t even finish reading one report.”

“That means you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast” Kara accused, seeing the Luthor blush “I bought lunch at your favorite Italian place”

“You truly are my favorite” Lena smiled “not that I’m your favorite because I’m not. Not anymore.”

“Nope, that title belongs to Seedy now, sorry” she teased “she is my favorite Luthor now.”

“I’m not sure I give her my last name” Lena commented, before tasting the pasta “doesn't seem fair.”

“But you don’t have another surname” Kara frowned “also, that name doesn’t say anything about anyone, Lena. And is not going to define who Seedy is going to be.”

“Lizzie.”

“Sorry?”

“Seedy’s name,” Lena said, embarrassed, unsure if she should say it out loud “Lizzie.”

Lizzie Luthor Danvers, Kara thought to herself. That was her daughter’s name, her little girl.

“I love it, Lena” she reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers “and I’m proud of you. I’m sure she will be just as amazing as her mother.”

“I don’t know” Lena sighed, caressing her belly with her other hand “saying it out loud makes it so much more real, more than it is.”

“She is real and she will love you unconditionally,” Kara said “because you, whether you know it or not, have been being exactly the kind of mother she needs. You started eating more, you don’t work until absurd hours, you stopped drinking. Your clothes don’t fit, you have to constantly take samples and exams and take care of what you do and eat.”

“Kara, don’t make me cry” Lena smiled with sad lips. So the blond move her chair to next to hers and hugged her.

“You’re an extraordinary person, you just haven’t realized it yet” Kara kissed her hair and their eyes met, green losing itself in the blue. Lena could feel Kara’s breath on her face and her heart resounding in her chest. She felt as if it burst out of her at any moment.

Kara caressed her cheek, going up and down, tracing her jawline, and sighed. There were so many details on the Luthor she had memorized and she could recite them with closed eyes, but every time Kara found herself there, at mercy of her eyes, feeling the sweet scent took over her lungs. It felt like learning something new. And she wished to learn everything about Lena Luthor.

“Lena, I…” Kara inhaled “I… can I kiss you?”

Lena didn’t bother to answer with words, she put her lips on Kara’s and everything exploded around her, without a sound. The kiss was shy, calm, and hesitant as to what way to follow. Lena touched the other woman’s face, deepening the kiss, wanting more, needing more. Her tongue asked for passage, contouring her lips with tenderness. Kara had no shame and soon felt her taste mix with hers. She tasted it like someone who did their best to not lose their chance.

Suddenly, Lena moved away from Kara and her heart dropped.

“What happened? Did… did I do something…”

“No” she shook her head, laughing, and took her friend’s hand “feel it” and put it over her belly and a small kick made her skin tremble slightly.

They looked at each other, drunk with happiness.

“Oh!” Kara was smiling the brightest of smiles “she kicked!”

“Yeah” Lena smiled along “hey, baby girl, you interrupted a very nice moment.”

“Lena!” Kara blushed strongly “she’s just a baby…”

“I know, but still,” Lena said overdramatically “I was really enjoying it.”

Kara smiled and kept her red face, fixing her glasses over her nose and put their lips together again. And they laughed again when another kick interrupted. It looked like someone was jealous, or just very happy to see her mommies finally together.

 

***

 

By the end of the afternoon, Lena went back to Kara’s apartment, and even though Lena insisted for her to come back soon, she had an important article to finish and would take longer than usual. It was normal for it to happen, but Lena didn’t like the way Snapper asked so much of Kara. He was always requesting and demanding and never gave Kara nearly enough credit she deserved. And if there was one thing Lena despised were ungrateful bosses that didn’t help their employees to grow in life. It made no sense and every day she watched her friend work hard for a service that didn’t give anything back, mainly because Snapper never gave Kara the themes she liked writing about.

Lena got it with the key Kara had handled after lunch, saying that the key was also hers now. The Luthor didn’t know how to react or answer. A simple key could be just that: simple, But it wasn’t. That object meant the beginning of something she barely understood or knew if she was ready to face. However, Lena chose to ignore her insecurities, she knew how hard fighting against her heart would be. At the moment, her feet were begging for rest, her shoulders felt the weight of the day on them and her clothes felt tighter than earlier. Which, obviously, was not biologically possible.

“Agnes, I’m home!” Lena called for the little dog, who quickly ran to say hi “hey, babygirl” she took her heels off, leaving them by the door, and kneeled “I missed you too, did you behave, hm?” she patted the dog and kissed her on the nose “are you hungry?” Agnes barked “are you part of the gluttony club? Lizzie and Kara are basically the founders of this club” the dog barked again, making Lena laugh “Okay, let’s get you some food and then I am going to take a shower.”

Lena got off the floor and took her things to the bedroom, going back to the kitchen and filling the pot with dog food. Agnes surrounded her and began to eat as soon as it was placed on the floor. After drinking a large glass of water and eating a little bit of cheese from the fridge, the Luthor walked back to bed, taking her dress off on the way. She thanked heaven no one else was in the apartment but her and it was too dark outside, so she didn’t have to worry about the windows.

“We need to relax a little,” she said, filling the bathtub with hot water and putting her up in a messy bun “what do you say kid?” she touched her stomach “you were pretty agitated today, and I think I know why” Lena smiled as she spoke. Taking the rest of her clothes off and took a look in the mirror, noticing her belly had grown bigger “Lizzie, promise me you won’t let me huge” she grimaced “you and I make a damn good team but we don’t need that much space” Lena rolled her eyes at her own comment and placed her phone on the sink. Pressing play on her usual playlist and letting the music invade the apartment.

Some minutes passed on that intimated moment, allowing her to feel the pregnancy. She could feel the heat that her stomach diffused and that warmed her whole, especially her heart. Once the bath was filled to the top, Lena looked for bath soaps or body oil she could use. There was nothing in sight so she decided to go back to the room and look for it.

What Lena didn’t expect was for Kara to have returned and happen to be passing by at that exact moment.

“Kara!” her body met Kara’s before her eyes and Lena had to hold on to her shoulder to stop her from falling.

“Lena! Oh, God…” Kara held her on instinct, feeling the other woman’s naked body on hers and everything getting warmer “you… oh, God” she closed her eyes “I’m sorry, I…I didn’t know and I was worried because I called you and you didn’t answer, but I heard the music and I…”

“Kara, breathe, please” Lena put herself together and stood up, holding Kara’s face with both hands “open your eyes, there’s no problem in you seeing me naked. It’s not like you haven’t seen it…” she murmured.

“Right” Kara opened her face but faced the wall “what were you doing… er, out… outside the bathroom… like that?”

“I was looking for bath soaps or oils, my back and feet are killing me” Lena confessed, trying not to think of the fact Kara was still keeping her close, too close for any pure thoughts to come out of it.

Breathe. How do you breathe again?

“Oh” Kara finally looked at her “are you in pain?” she asked worried she had worsened something.

“The tension is hurting, but it will pass” Lena sighed.

“I… I can help you, if… if you want” Kara suggested, embarrassed “I’m not saying that… well, nevermind, I didn’t mean to… insinuate anything or…”

“Do you want to join me in the bath?” Lena asked calmly, caressing her cheeks and trying to pass the tenderness she was feeling to her.

“I do, but… I’ve never been…” Kara scoffed nervously.

“C’mon” Lena guided Kara by the hand towards the bathroom, while the blonde woman tried to focus on anything besides the naked figure in front of her, Lena skipped a couple of songs, choosing a slower melody “tie your hair,” she asked Kara, unbuttoning her flannel shirt “we don’t need to do anything, Kara. Is that okay with you?”

“Y-yeah…” her lips trembled and her body betrayed her mind with every reaction. Her brain was slow trying to process it all, Kara watched as Lena finished undoing her shirt and let it fall to the floor.
That was when she finally reacted.

Kara lifted her arms and tied her hair in a bun, feeling her skin shiver and craved touch, more proximity, more intimacy. Lena let Kara take off the rest of her clothes, while she got into the bathtub, feeling the water surround her body, with necessary warmth. Turning around she found Kara’s naked sunbathed body, making her lose her breath. She had never seen the other woman like this, so exposed, so given. Kara looked as if she had been sculpted by a renaissance artist, each detail on her was so unique and single that Lena couldn't put it into words.

She couldn't blink or form a coherent phrase. Her firm breasts were exposed, same with every little spot, every scar, every inch of her soul. Kara was allowing her to see more than she had ever seen before. That was intimacy, that was recognizing the other person without even touching their body. Lena noticed goosebumps go by the soft skin and smiled, aware of how nervous Kara probably was. So she held out a hand and felt the warm touch of Kara’s fingers on hers, watching the water move in small waves with the other body invading it.

The blonde positioned herself behind the Luthor, placing her between her legs and feeling Lena lean on her body.

Intimacy.

Silence reigned for long minutes until both breaths were serene and in compass. Lena laid on her friend’s shoulder, her back feeling the hardened nipples and her behind feeling Kara’s warm center. Intimacy. Kara held her tight in a protective and possessive way, moving her fingers on the water and tracing it back to Lena’s soft skin. That was new. That was different and completely unknown. There were no behind intentions or secret desires because both could feel and see the two bodies reacting to the touches. It was clear, there was want, there were excitement and heat between them. There was passion. But they knew better than to rush things.

“I've… never been intimate with a woman” Kara whispered as if she was confessing to something prohibited. Lena raised her eyes and intertwined her fingers with Kara’s, taking them to her lips and kissing each knuckle softly.

“You shouldn't be nervous,” Lena whispered back. The music was still playing, alongside it, the sound of their beating hearts “intimacy has nothing to do with sex, it has to do with trust, with safeness, and with how willing you are to give yourself to someone."

“I trust you” Kara confessed.

“And I, you.”

And so their lips met the third time that day and the night continued in the same atmosphere, with touches, kisses, and passionate confessions that pushed their souls to love each other quietly.

Chapter Text

“Kara, work with me here!” Alex begged, uselessly, for the fourth time, while her sister squirmed on the stretcher “Kara!”

“I don’t need to be here, Alex!” Kara groaned and pouted, crossing her arms above her uniform’s symbol.

“You know that face doesn’t work with me, I’m not your girlfriend,” she said, losing patience.

“Lena is not my girlfriend” Kara retorted. Alex just rolled her eyes, she was not going to discuss that now, no matter how hard she wanted to tease her little sister. The agent adjusted the yellow lights over the hero’s body, turning them on the highest level so it wouldn’t take long for her to get strong again.

“What do we have here?” Winn showed up behind Alex and frowned, seeing some scratches on Supergirl’s body.

“Maybe I fought an alien five times my size and maybe it hurt me with those huge thorns” the blonde answered, but she didn’t try to hide that the radiation relieved her pain “now Alex wants me to stay here.”

“And you don’t want to be here, as always,” Winn said and Kara confirmed, “okay, does that have anything to do with your girlfriend?”

“Ugh, what is wrong with you two?” she closed her eyes, feeling sore, and sighed “I need to get out of here and meet her. We have a class this afternoon, I can’t miss it…”

“Kara, you’re not leaving the DEO looking like this” Alex said for the thousandth time “Winn, give me a hand here, please” she pointed to one of the lamps.

“J’onn asked to see you before you go home” Winn warned, “and Kara, how are you going to get to L-Corp looking destroyed and explain you were fighting an alien in the middle of the avenue?”

“I… er, I hadn’t thought of that,” Kara confessed, blushing.

“Of course you didn’t” the redhead smiled.

“But I don’t want to miss it and I don’t want Lena to miss it” Kara grumbled “she likes it and… it’s good for her.”

“Can’t you send someone else in your place?” Winn suggested, and so both he and Supergirl turned to Alex.

“No, no and no!” Alex stepped back “No!”

“Alex, please! Pretty please!” Kara did her best pout, ignoring Winn who was laughing out loud “for me, for you niece!”

“Oh, that’s low” Winn continued laughing.

“Don’t play dirty with me, Zor-El” she pointed to her sister “you’re not convincing me.”

“When Lizzie is born, I’m going to tell her what you did” Kara threatened, crossing her arms again and grimacing because of the movement.

“Lizzie?” Winn and Alex gasped at the same time and the blond felt her face flush, biting her lips to contain the excitement.

“Uh… Seedy’s name” she smiled, “Lena told me last week.”

Alex watched her sister’s dreamy eyes as she talked about her daughter and realized it would be very hard to deny her anything. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to go and help Lena, Alex actually really wanted to. However, she didn’t trust herself, she wasn’t sure if she could handle a room full of happy pregnant women that fulfilled her dream. A dream she needed to fulfill herself. Alex felt her hands shake and her anxiety grow even higher. Her breathing labored, cold sweat began to form on her forehead and she struggled to think of coherent phrases. No, Alex couldn’t lose control, she had to stay strong.

Fighting against her vice was never simple of an easy win. Alex knew she was losing the battle every time she lied and deceived herself saying it was just one glass, one dose less until it was gone. To be honest, Alex could barely say how much alcohol her body ingested, in her weak and momentaneously sick mind, she was doing her best. Alex inhaled deeply and tried to concentrate. She didn’t want Lena to notice her faults at the moment. She couldn’t show up at the glass mirroring her brokenness.

Deep down, Alex was scared of asking for help or showing someone she was so vulnerable that her life didn’t feel like hers anymore. Alex remembered perfectly the Luthor’s words, which made her see that asking for help wasn’t wrong or weak. It was necessary. Maybe she was just being selfish to herself, she knew that she wanted to win, but she was scared of dealing with her own feelings and thoughts. Like she always used to say, being drunk was a much better state to figure out your personal conflicts than sober. What if Alex couldn’t make it? What if she got in a worse state than before? What if she didn’t know what to do?

Asking for help is the first step and I’m here to help you if you want me to.

“Alex?” Supergirl reached for her hands and noticed how cold they felt “Alex, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, sure” Alex ignored her thoughts, knowing they would only make her anxiety and need for alcohol grow.

“You don’t need to go if you don’t want to,” Kara said quietly “I can figure it out, I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to” they stared at each other and Alex smiled.

“You owe me one, Kara,” she said jokingly

“Owe you what?” Kara frowned. Winn laughed and shook his head, sure that his friend was never going to get used to earthly speaking manners.

“Good luck explaining this to her,” Winn said and left the room, still smiling at how much an alien Kara could be when she wanted to.

The sisters watched him walk away, Alex noticing something was troubling her sister. The same look on her face when Kara found out she and Lena were becoming friends.

“Are you okay with me going?” Alex asked hesitantly “Kara, you know you can tell me anything, right?” the hero averted her eyes for a second.

“I… I know, but I’m afraid this is going to sound… stupid” she blushed “it’s nothing and I swear it’s not jealousy.”

“I know it isn’t, I know you and I know when you’re jealous” Alex smiled, trying to show trust “but you can tell me, I’m not going to judge you. Feelings are stupid sometimes.”

“Really?” Alex nodded “I’m scared of losing you two” Kara confessed quickly, almost inaudibly “Lena… she… she is an amazing person, smart, funny and so loving and I feel like I’m home when I’m with her and you’re the best person in the world for me, Alex. When I found you two were going out and becoming… friends, I…” she sighed “who am I close to you two, you know? Lena deserves someone like you, a friend like you… I’m scared I’m not her favorite person anymore…”

“Kara, that’s impossible” Alex laughed it off and sat next to the hero “that’s not the first time you feel this, you reacted the same way when I started dating Maggie, remember?” Kara nodded “each person has its different importance in other people’s lives and no one can replace them in that aspect. Lena sees something in you that she is never going to see in me, because yeah, I’m her friend, but you’re her best friend, the person who taught her to fight for what she believed and believed in her and now is in love with her” Kara felt her face go hot “and Lena is completely in love with you, you know that, right?”

“I think I do,” Kara said “It’s just… it doesn’t feel real sometimes.”

“But it is real and I promise you no one is taking your place in my heart” Alex lifted her hand and kissed it softly “just like no one is taking your place in Lena’s life, okay?”

“Okay,” she smiled with relief “I love you, Alex.”

“I love you too.”

 

***

 

“I hope you like the city and enjoy your stay” Lena commented, handling the papers, ready to be signed.

“New horizons are always welcomed” she smiled “and I believe this is a great opportunity for me.”

“I get it, choices are never easy but some are worth it.”

“And I see you made a big one” she pointed to the noticeable belly of the CEO “I never thought I’d live to see Lena Luthor pregnant. How do you feel?”

“Well, to be honest, I never thought I’d see it too” Lena confessed, caressing her stomach over her dress “but it had been… a rewarding experience.

“You can tell me the truth, Lena” she laughed “you don’t have to…”

“Sorry” Lena interrupted as the phone rang “just a minute” she picked up the phone “Okay, Jess, let her in. No, I’m done for today, thank you.”

In no time, the two women heard the door open and a shy tall figure with familiar red hair walked into the room. It was unusual for Alex to show up, and when she did, Lena always thought something must have happened to her best friend. A friend who, by the way, Lena didn’t know how to refer to anymore. What was Kara to her, now? They still hadn’t talked about the subject. One week ago, they were inside the same bathtub, taking a huge step on their relationship regarding their personal space and building a frighteningly passionate intimacy. They didn’t do anything past kissing that night, and on that same night, Lena slept in Kara’s arm, feeling her whole body and heart relax with the physical contact.

Contact was something Luthors were rarely given or taught how to deal with. As a child, neither she nor Lex was used to hugs or any kinds of affection from their parents’ side. Lionel was never present and the excuses had always something to do with work. Lilian was always around, commanding, giving orders, and making sure her children were always perfect for the family delusion. But she was never near Lena, and when she did, her cold distant stare scared the little girl who was uselessly trying to fit into that dysfunctional family. Lena didn’t know what hugs were, didn’t have anyone but her brother to console her when the nightmares got too scary for her to be alone. But even so, the prodigy boy didn’t know a thing about physical contact as well.

So when Kara showed up in her life and gave Lena her first hug, she finally figured out what was missing in her heart. Affection. Touch. Human heat. For any other human being, hugs can be the most simple and usual gestures, but for someone like Lena Luthor, it was like she finally felt inside that human world, opposite to the cruel, cold one she was raised in. So much time passed before Lena didn’t know about the warmth other bodies could offer her. Sure, the CEO had spent the night with men and women that came and went between her lonely nights.

But sex and affection are terms with such different meanings and weights. Kara didn’t give her lust and a night of ephemeral pleasures. Kara gave her her heart and the capacity to feel something other than anger, sadness, and bitterness. Kara offered Lena more than she thought she deserved: friendship, partnership, trust, and, most of all, a new look at love.

Kara resurrected her heart with that hug two years ago.

Seeing her friend-not-friend and sister-in-law-not-sister-in-law; Lena really didn’t know what she and Alex were now; she got up and let go of those confusing thoughts. If Alex was there then there were two reasons for it: either Kara was in trouble or Alex needed something. Lena had to wait and see and then make conclusions but, for now, Alex looked more embarrassed than ever, turning her eyes from the Luthor to the lady sitting in front of the white table, who got up with the sudden intrusion.

“Danvers, to what do I own a surprise visit?” Lena smiled, unsure of how to greet the woman in front of her. God, why was this so complex?

“Just checking if you’re not up to any evil plans” Alex joked, still feeling uncomfortable.

“Not this time” she rolled her eyes “by the way, meet my new CFO, Samantha Arias” Lena introduced the woman standing next to her “Sam, this is Alex Danvers, a… friend.”

“Nice to meet you” the woman shook hand with the redhead wearing a gorgeous smile “I suppose you’re sister’s or family with a blonde named Kara Danvers?”

“I am, and I assume Lena didn’t shut up about how wonderful she is?” Alex smirked, seeing Lena glare are at her. Sam laughed and shot a fun look at Lena.

“You assumed correctly, Alex,” she smiled “can I call you Alex?”

“Sure, Sam then?” Sam nodded and Lena watched the interaction with interest. Also thinking of ways to tease the agent about it.

“You’re impressive, Danvers” Lena raised a brow “I’ve been your friend longer and I don’t get first name treatment” she dramatized “I am offended and actually hurt.”

“Your hormones are eating your brain” Alex looked at her “first of all you’re the one who calls me by my last name and second of all since we’re friends” she smirked, “you could at least tell me your middle name.” Lena smiled, feeling the dare.

“Never, Danvers” Sam stared at them “I’d rather see curiosity corrode you.”

“It’s Lutessa” Sam intervened, making Lena’s mouth fall open and Alex snort “c’mon, Lena, I thought that phase was over.”

“You’re the worst friend in the world, you both are” Lena pointed at them “happy now, Danvers?”

“Yep” she nodded “I think we’re going to get along fine, Sam” Alex turned to her.

“I’m sure of it” she smiled “did Lena ever tell you about the time Lena tried to impress a girl in high school by writing a note using the periodic table?” Sam said if she was telling a secret of state and heard Len grumble behind her.

“Really?” Alex shot her head back with laughter “I am shocked, but not surprised.”

“Alex, what are you doing here?” Lena interrupted, trying to end the subject “besides provoking me and interfering in personal business.”

“I thought Sam was your CFO, not your friend” she provoked “anyways, I’m here to take you to the ultrasound and that stupid pregnancy class.

“Oh… did something happen to Kara?” Lena tried to mask her disappointment, she expected to see Kara today, it had been almost a week since they hadn’t seen each other with quality time. Their schedules never met and they were both drowning in work. They could only meet at lunch and even then Kara was always running out of time.

“Snapper asked her for a new article in a short time” Alex lied “so, she’s stuck at CatCo until after hours.”

“Oh, I see,” Sam noticed the upsetness in her friend’s voice and smiled sweetly “you don’t have to come with me, I can go by myself or I can cancel it too, there’s no need for you to accompany me.

“I’m not leaving here without you and there’s no point arguing with me,” Alex said decisively, hearing the other woman giggle “Kara said you have to change clothes so let’s move.”

“Is there anything I can do that will change your mind?” Lena sighed.

“I’ve only known her for fifteen minutes but I don’t think there is,” Sam commented.

“See?” Alex pointed to Arias “now let’s go, I’m not mentally prepared to deal with your pregnant mood for a whole afternoon.

“Shut up, you love me” Lena retorted.

Lena took a deep breath, she couldn’t believe Alex Danvers was about to go to one of the most embarrassing classes of her life. She was hoping today’s subject was something related to baby diapers and not pregnant masturbation, otherwise, she was not surviving the day.

 

***

 

The way back from the ultrasound was quiet, Lena was too busy examining the images of her daughter, and Alex was lost in her thought. According to doctor Cameron, Lizzie was fine - she was very excited to know the baby already had a name, though she still found it sweet the way Lena referred to her as Seedy - and said the Luthor had to increase her diet because her nutrient levels were a little low but nothing too worrying. In fact, there were low not because Lena wasn’t eating well, but because her little alien got her metabolism from her other mom, which was not easy to deal with. Lizzie was growing healthy, with over 5 and a half inches, weighing nearly 210 grams, with normal heartbeats.

Cameron asked Lena to return for a morphological ultrasound, for a more thorough analysis of her baby’s development and was happy to announce that Lizzie was a healthy baby without any development problems or showing any signs of malformation. The CEO felt her heart at peace with the deal and cried at the sight of her baby girl sucking on her finger. Once again, the doctor reminded her about the 3D ultrasound that enabled an image of Lizzie’s face, but Lena decided she wanted to meet her only after she was born.

During the consult, Alex stayed quiet and fought her bad, accusative thoughts that tried to get her mind. It was nice to see Lena happy with the pregnancy and she was sure Lena was gradually changing her mind about being a mother. Seeing her nice on the black and white screen hit Alex with a new sensation, a new kind of love. It was like loving someone she had never met, caring for a little, defenseless being that didn’t even know her and Alex couldn’t quite put a finger on what made her so emotional.

But once Alex heard the heartbeats and its melody travel across the room, Alex knew she was in love. Deeply in love. Where did all these feelings come from? God, she was a mess. In the middle of so much darkness and pain, her soul was alive and kicking in the shape of a little girl that could have Lena’s green eyes or her sister’s amazing smile. Looking through the car’s window, Alex imagined a dark-haired girl, using a blue dress over her pale Luthor skin and laughing as she looked at Kara laying on the grass.

Lena noticed how the other woman was lost in her thoughts, but her hands were shaking and her lips dry. Guilt fell in her chest.

“Alex?” there was no answer “Alex, are you okay?” Lena murmured, finding her hand and feeling it cold.

“Yeah” Alex choked, blinking too much.

“Alex…”

“I’m fine, Lena” she was cold and soon regretted the tone “I’m sorry, I just… how…. what does she feel like? What is it like… knowing she is in there and…”

She didn’t finish the sentence. Lena moved to the seat next to her with tenderness in her eyes, trying to give comfort and comprehension.

“May I?” Lena pointed to Alex’s hand and she nodded.

Lena took her hands to her belly, letting Alex feel the heat, the warm feeling it emanated, and softly hugged her heart. That was an intimacy neither woman thought could be achieved from that friendship. It was strange to be in that position, and a little scary to be so vulnerable, but Lena didn’t want Alex to feel so alone, she didn’t want her to feel she couldn’t be a part of that moment, especially when Alex helped Lena understand she was allowed to enjoy it, she was allowed to try. Lena owed a lot to her and wanted to pay it back the same way.

“Baby, this is you aunt Alex” Lena’s tone was somewhere between provocative and kindhearted “she’s is like a grumpy old man but we have to be polite with the elders” Alex rolled her eyes but something suddenly drew her attention? “did you feel it?”

“She kicked?” Alex gasped.

“Again!” they shared a laugh “this is Seedy saying she agrees with me.”

“Of course she agrees with you” she teased “wait until this seedy is born and I’m going to show her who her mother really is.”

“You wouldn’t dare” Lena held up to the provocation.

"Watch me,” she smirked.

As they got out of the car, Lena still noticed the spams on Alex's body and the way her hands were shaking. Her eyes were reddened and the CEO had a good guess what was happening there, especially because of the many times during the consultation Alex went to the bathroom carrying her purse. Lena was not naive, she knew what addicts were capable of, but Lena decided to wait for better timing to talk to her friend, or maybe wait for Alex to come to her for help.

“And here’s the mommy of the year!” Julie exclaimed, seeing Lena walk in “I thought I was going to be alone today” she complained, rocking Ezra with one ar,

“Hey!” Lena smiled back, but before she could hug her friend, the little boy raised his hands, asking to be held by her “wow, look who’s here!” Lena exclaimed and carried him with both arms “oh, you smell so good, I missed you, you know?” She kissed the soft cheeks.

“I think you’re his first crush,” Julie said, laughing.

“Then I think Ezra is the man of my life” Lena answered, while the little boy laid his head on her shoulder.

“How do you do this?” she asked, pointing at her son, and turned to Alex, who watched the interaction in silence “I don’t know how she does this” she sighed “I’m bringing you over to get him to sleep every night.”

“I might not give him back later” Lena provoked “by the way, Julie, this is Alex Danvers” she nodded “Alex, this is Julia, the funniest pregnant woman in National City.

“Don’t be silly” Julia laughed and greeted the other woman “is this the sister-in-law? I mean, her look reminds me of your wife.”

“Wife?” Alex murmured to Lena, seeing her face go red as a tomato. Oh, so they were married? “yes, I’m Kara’s sister” she answered, “and her sister-in-law, though I wasn’t even invited to the wedding.”

“How come?” Julie frowned. Lena tried to focus on the baby in her arms instead of that conversation.

“They got married in secret and well, I only found later” Alex was having fun “but I’m glad they decided to come forward and admit it.

“I didn’t know Lena Luthor was a coward” Julie teased “and you’re one of them, I suppose. Do you walk in packs?”

“One of who?”

“Yes, she is” Lena answered quickly, adjusting Ezra in her right arm “the gayest of us all” Alex’s mouth feels open “c’mon, Alex, who’s still straight these days?” Julie snorted “speaking of it, why isn’t Ramona here?”

“Ah, she’s at home resting” she explained “turns out one of the twins already is in labor position and that causes premature contractions. It’s not ideal for them to be born with only seven months.”

“Oh… I hope she’s okay” Lena sighed “I wish I could visit her but this week is a mess because of the holidays.”

“Are you escaping town?”

“Yeah, she’s visiting her mother in law” Alex answered for her.

“Alex! She’s… ugh, anyway” Lena shook her head “let’s pick a place and wait for the teacher.”

She gave Ezra back to Julie and grabbed Alex, walking to the middle of the room and taking two mattresses before putting them on the floor. Lena was praying to every god for that class to be about normal subjects or at least okay ones. What would Alex think if she knew about the massage sessions, the talks about sex and masturbation during pregnancy? Oh, God. Alex would never let it go. However, the Luthor had a plan B and would use it if it came to that.

“Hum, so you and my sister are married,” Alex said as if it was nothing “Eliza is going to be upset for the lack of invitation.”

“I hate you so much, you know that, right?” Lena closed her eyes, begging that nightmare to end soon “Ramona and Julie assumed it on the first day and we never… denier, or… I actually don’t know why we never denied it.”

“I do, but I’ll keep it to myself” Alex smiled “I didn’t know you had friends.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Samantha, apparently is an old friend” Alex continued with whispers as Zara walked into the room, saying hello to everyone “where do you know her from?”

“Metropolis” Lena answered, biting her lips ready to provoke her friend “we went to high school together but she had to start working early because had an early pregnancy.”

“Sam has a kid?” she whispered.

“Uhum, and sometimes she needs someone to take care of her daughter on the weekend” Lena smirked “someone that likes children if you know what I mean.

“You really don’t know how to be subtle” she scoffed “are you provoking me, Luthor?”

“Oh, of course not! What kind of person would I be?” her tone was beyond ironic “anyway, I’m giving her your phone number” Alex gasped “as friends, Alex. Jesus! You get it all wrong.”

“And you’re a bitch” Lena pretended to be offended, trying her best not to laugh “I’m not looking for anyone, Lena.”

“Neither is Sam” she shrugged “maybe you two can ‘look for no one’ together.”

“I hate you,” Alex whispered in threat.

"It 's reciprocal.”

“Well, mommies and daddies, in tribute to our dear Emily who is probably going into labor this weekend” Zara pointed to where she used to stay “today were talking about exercises that help during natural childbirth. I know a lot of you are choosing to go with a c-section, which is great, you’re not more or less a woman for it.” Zara establiched.

Both Lena and Julie rolled their eyes with the mention of the name, which was noticed by the agent.

“Okay, okay… what’s up with this Emily?” she asked Lena.

“Little miss perfection” Julie grumbled.

“She always comes alone and does better than any couple here” Lena explained, menacing “and loves showing off.”

“And hitting on other people’s wives” Julie added, “poor Kara, thank God you were fast enough.”

“Yeah, poor Kara, right?” Alex smiled at Lena, seeing her friend turn red “good thing we have a hero in the room, hm?.

“Shut up.”

“We have many types of exercises that can help you prepared the body for birth, like squats and pelvic inclination” the attention was drawn back to Zara “but we all know sex is one of the best exercises.”

“I’ll help with the squats and Kara can help you with the sex” Alex was having way too much fun, while Lena looked for a place to hide her face.

“Why don’t you go help, Emily?” Lena retorted “I think she needs a dose of your unbearable humor.”

“And miss all this fun?” she giggled “also if this is a competition, I’m here to win. Danvers’ don’t lose.”

“I’m not a Danvers.”

“Oh, really” Alex arched a brow “not what Julie thinks, Lena Luthor Danvers.” she said in her ear.

“Fuck off.”

 

***

 

The class ended at the usual time and they made it out alive, though both with a little less dignity than before. Alex and Lena both knew that friendship was made of sarcasm and teasing, but also of advice and venting, it was how they both dealt with their feelings. Lena trusted the agent, really trusted, and just like she gave Kara the chance to get close, she wanted to do the same for Alex. Even though Alex would never be like her sister for Lena, no one ever would, Kara was her favorite person, the one that made her heart race and makes her question everything she knew as a fact.

And Lena missed so much that the lack of her was compared to lack of oxygen.

As they left the place, Alex asked the driver to take them to a market and Lena thought it was a good opportunity to do groceries before going off to Midvale. Midvale, that place hadn't left her head ever since Kara invited her when her anxiety began to grow and Lena almost panicked three times. Lena had said yes to the invitation without thinking of what it meant. What would Eliza think of her? What were her thoughts on her name, on her family? Would she find a bad thing that her youngest daughter was dating someone like her? Someone pregnant with the city’s hero and also carrying the worst name in town. It felt like there was a war on her mind. Lena wanted to be the best, she wanted to cause a good impression, but now there was no more hiding Lizzie from the rest of the world.

They left the car and strolled around the long corridors, Alex on the frozen food section and Lena picking vegetables for the week. It was so strange to be on such a simple, domestic day with someone Lena never thought she’d be friends with. Alex looked serene, though there were still clear signs of her vice on her body. Lena didn’t know how to approach the subject, but she would think of a way because if there was something she would not let happen was her best friend’s sister believe she was alone. Besides, Lena heard the clicking of glass coming from Alex’s purse more than once that day, and that was enough of a cry for help for Lena to intervene.

“Look who we have here!” the two women turned around to see the third voice behind them “you really are pregnant.”

“Helena!” Lena smiled what looked like a frown, tensing up. That fucking day “how long, I… didn’t expect to meet you.”

“Of course not, you’ve been running from me like a prey runs from a predator” Helena smiled and turned to Alex “changed company already? Who's this now?”

“Alexandra Danvers” the redhead introduced herself, fixing her posture and holding the woman’s stare.

“Are you anything to that blonde one?” she asked with a shrug “correct me if I’m wrong, she was a Danvers too, right?”

“Hm…”

“Yes, I’m her sister” Alex took over “ and Lena’s sister-in-law.”

“In… law?” Helena frowned and looked over to the Luthor, who barely knew how to process that situation.

“Oh, I thought you knew what in-law meant, though I must confess I don't know what the concept of pregnant is” Alex was ruthless “it’s pretty clear, for anyone, that Lena is pregnant.”

“Alex!” Lena interrupted, deep down grateful for the agent’s attitude “Helena, I’m sorry, I’m really busy and in a hurry, I need to go back home before…”

“Hey, I’m here” Lena suddenly felt her body react to the voice behind her. A warm hand took hers and it was like the world turned upside down “uh… am I interrupting something?”

“Kara!” she turned around, forgetting everything around her “I… how…” she sighed “nevermind” Lena smiled excitedly and relieved.

“Right on time, Romeo” Alex whispered to her sister. Helena froze.

“I see you finally found what you were looking for” Bertinelli frowned “even though you’re a Luthor” she shot her last arrow, knowing the name situation always got to her.

But Kara stood in front of her and blocked the attack with ease and sincerity.

“Lena found a family that loved her despite her last name” the young Danvers answered back defensively “and if you diminish her like that, then I’m sorry to tell you, you don’t know her. The Luthor name isn’t deserving of someone like Lena.”

“Helena, I think you should go” Lena finally spoke up “we’re not friends and I hope we don’t meet like that anymore.”

“Whatever you want” she answered, with pent-up rage and a fake smile, leaving the trio alone.

“Kara, how did you find me?” Lena turned to the blonde and felt her body push her to a hug “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Kara was smiling like heaven.

“Ugh, at least wait for me to leave” Alex teased “and you’re welcome for calling your wife here.”

“We’re not married!” they exclaimed at the same time.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion” Alex shrugged and went back to her groceries.

Kara and Lena sighed and giggled, leaving the subject aside and holding each other close, ready to enjoy the rest of that crazy day together.

 

***

 

The days went by in the blink of an eye and L-Corp had never seen Lena Luthor so nervous like that week. Winter started to show itself with freezing wind and cloudier days. The roads were slippery, water fountains on the squares became hard like rocks and the rains were substituted by a cutting wind. However, those were not the reasons for the CEO’s nervousness. What was bothering her was the fact that in a few hours she would be traveling to Midvale with two Danvers to spend a holiday she never celebrated before. After all, what should she be grateful for in those twenty-six years of life?

She never had anything to be thankful for, not even as a child, her family celebrated things like those. They rarely had Easter or Halloween and the Christmas where often spent at mansions of unknown people that argued about the stock market and things like those, while the kids entertained themselves with games that Lena found particularly boring. Lucky for her, Lex didn’t find it entertaining either, so they used to search the houses for a chessboard, knowing every millionaire had at least one, even if they didn’t know how to play it.

Christmas, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, or even New Year’s Eve were things Lena only knew from movies with the same cliche every time. So at the moment, she couldn’t tell if what she was feeling was uncomfortable or just anxious for what could happen. Lena had a full conviction that Kara loved every celebration, always dressing up for the occasion and talking about the spirit of it. She was sure of it, Lena knew her best friend well and spent some holidays with her before. But still, she was excited, to say the least, to celebrate it lying, because Lena Luthor didn’t understand the point of those holidays but didn’t want to ruin it for the Danvers family.

Also, the fact Lena was about to meet Kara’s mom was driving her insane. God, she was about to go mad. Trying to ignore her silent panic attacks and crippling anxiety, Lena went through the day as if it was just another one. Got up early, as always, had a big breakfast - her daughter demanded more and more food over time - dressed with whatever clothes still fitted her, got Agnes ready to go to the pet shop, and left home, ignoring the fact she was traveling in a few hours. Fucking hell. Thinking about not think made her think even more. Her brain cells were euphoric inside her mind, in the bad sense of the word.

Lena did all the world she could, spent the whole morning giving Sam important papers and explain what should be done until her return, but truth was, Lena, trusted her friend’s capacity. Soon lunchtime came and Agnes was delivered to the company from the pet shop. The dog had the perfect scent, with a red flannel around her neck and shiny hair. Lena thanked the delivery boy and just as she thought she had the afternoon for herself, an unexpected visitor showed up, as always.

“Hey, did you order a pizza?” A gorgeous blonde smiled and was greeted by an excited dog, barking with happiness “Agnes, I don’t think you were the one who ordered it.” Lena laughed.

“Kara” her voice always melted saying that name, same as her heart, “I thought we were only seeing each other at the weekend.”

“What can I say, I missed you” Kara confessed without thinking and her cheeks went red “uh… I, I mean…” she scoffed “I was… missing you, truly.”

“We missed you too” Lena took the package from Kara’s hand and put it over the table, and then hugged her, losing herself in that feeling “are you sure you want to do this?” Lena, asked, breaking the peaceful silence. Kara frowned and stepped back just enough to face her.

“Do what?”

“Take me to your mother’s house, you know you don’t have to” she sighed “I can wait for you to come back, I’ll be perfectly fine on my own, I don’t…”

“I do, Lena” Kara held her face “I’ve wanted anything more and I’m being honest. Eliza really wants to meet you and Alex is super excited about having another person the pick on” they laughed “and I…” Kara sighed “I know were not… were not girlfriends and it may seem like too soon, I don’t know… I just don’t want it to be uncomfortable for you or…”

Lena interrupted her with a soft peck on the lips, showing her a fine with the situation. Kara let her body relax, alongside her mind. She was thinking about the week during the whole week and had to come up with countless excuses to take a break on CatCo and the DEO. At least with J’onn, she could be honest about the mess it was happening, which didn’t apply to James or Cat Grant because neither of them cared about the importance it that trip.

“I like you, Kara” Lena whispered, “that’s what matters, right?”

“Right” Kara inhaled, missing those lips on hers “it will be great, I promise.”

“I know it will” Lena hid her fears and anxieties, but the blonde could hear her desperate heart “we’re going to eat and…”

“Lena, you know you can tell me anything, right?” Kara held her hand and guided them to the couch, sitting so close their bodies could mix “what are you so scared of?”

“Ruining everything” she smiled sadly, tightening her arms around her friend’s body and hiding her face on her neck “of carrying the evil of my family into yours and not being what your mother wants me to be and of… not being good enough. What if I put you all in danger? What if…”

“That won’t happen, my love” Kara heard Lena’s heart jump with the pet name “I’m not going to let anything hurt you and you’re carrying nothing but my favorite seedy,” she said smiling, causing Lena to smiled relieved too “by the way, how did the ultrasound go?”

“She is well, big and growing healthy” Lena commented, “and still sucking her fingers.”

“I used to do that when I was a child,” Kara said, lost in her thoughts “I can’t wait to see her face and…”

“I’m not gonna lie” she reached for the pizza and opened the box “I also want to know what Lizzie is going to look like and I have been thinking…” Lena hesitated “no, nothing, nevermind.”

“No, Lena…” Kara pouted “please tell me, pretty please” how could anyone say no to that?

“I don’t… I don’t know if…” she suspired, nervous, hands going through her hair “I don’t know if I should say this out loud, but…”

“But?” Kara looked at her with so much hope Lena had to fight everything in her not to lose herself in those blue eyes.

“Promise me you’re not going to set high hope and that… you’ll keep this a secret” Okay, now that was worrying her.

“Lena, you’re making me nervous” Kara held her hands tight “what’s on your mind?”

“I have been thinking about the adoption situation and…” Lena closed her eyes “I don’t like that idea anymore. I think… I might change my mind.”

And that was the best news Kara could have heard.

Chapter Text

In no time, Kara had to say goodbye and go back to CatCo because if she wanted to go on that trip, as James said, she had to be less hero and more reporter. Cat wasn’t a problem regarding that, in fact, the difficult part was convincing Snapper that every employee deserved vacations and the holiday's matter was included in the agreement. Kara rarely took vacations, she was always lost between fighting crime and dull articles deadlines. But what could she do? Kara was just a junior reporter. But then, James Olsen was the help she needed to escape those days to Midvale.

Even though she knew her friend was completely against Lena’s involvement in her family and life.

Equally to Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor spent the next hours walking through endless hallways, showing the company to Samantha and explaining every detail. Scared of leaving the dog alone in her office, Lena took Agnes on her tour and they had a hard time walking more than five steps without stopping. Everyone wanted to meet Agnes and soon the word got around and Agnes received more attention and rubs on the head than she could have in a month. Lena didn’t mind, at first, she was hesitant, thinking the dog would get frightened. But, Agnes surprised her, meeting the employees with her usual excitement.

 

Two hours later, Sam made her way to her office and let Lena know she was leaving earlier that day because Ruby had a science fair and she couldn’t miss it. That small information made Lena’s heartbeat speed and stump and imagine a future where she would drop her work because Lizzie had a school presentation. She was never a creative person and her thoughts were usually down to earth, but the way her mind projected a little girl with long black hair and bright blue eyes, smiling like sunshine was impressive. Every time Lena was taken over by those feelings, her breath hitched and her body somehow felt warmer, as if she was being hugged.

Finally sitting in her chair, Lena let Agnes go to the balcony while she finished signing some papers. A few minutes passed and the sound of steps behind her made Lena smile and she turned to the familiar figure in a red cape.

“You called, Miss Luthor?” Supergirl asked carefully, analyzing the room's detail. She knew them by heart, where Lena kept her favorite yogurts and even where her extra clothes were on the shelves “is anything wrong?”

“Nope” she smiled “just want to give you some updates. Can I get you anything to drink?” Lena got up walking toward the mini-fridge.

“No… but I’d have one of those yogurts…” she lowered her head, embarrassed.

“Oh, I thought your weakness was kryptonite” Lena teased, seeing her hero's cheeks match her cape in color.

“Er… they really are my favorites” she scratched the back of her neck, unsure of her reaction but then smiled like a child seeing Lena take a pink and with cup and give it to her.

“They’re your daughter’s favorite too” Lena commented. They said on the couch and she continued “which, by the way, is the reason I called you. I have new ultrasound images and I want to talk to you about something serious that has been happening.”

“Serious? Is it you? Is it the baby? Is it bad?” Kara choked over her words and the yogurt.

“Calm down, Supermom'' Lena smiled “Seedy is fine, growing healthy and giving me a handful. But it’s not about the pregnancy I want to talk about” she handled the envelope with the images and watched the woman open it quickly to look at every image of her little girl.'' Do you need a moment?”

“I don't… oh, Rao!” the hero raised her arms high as she was ‘attacked’ by an overexcited dog. Agnes barked loudly and jumped on her legs, begging for attention “Rao! Calm down!”

“Agnes!” Lena pulled the dog to herself but Agnes didn't give up, she was getting heavier and heavier because of the pregnancy “Agnes, stop! God, sorry about that” Lena apologized “I don't know what happened to her” another bark was heard.

Supergirl put the photos aside, next to the empty yogurt cup, and took the dog to her lap, letting her lick her face and sniff her hair.

“It's okay” Supergirl kissed her head and rubbed the back of her ears “I like dogs.”

“She's never like that with strangers” Lena was still embarrassed “I'm sorry. It looks… as if she already knows you.”

“Uh… er, maybe she confused me with someone else… maybe” she scoffed and put Agnes on the floor again “what were you going to talk about?”

“Honestly, I don't know where to begin” Lena decided to let the Agnes situation behind and focus on what mattered “since the incident with my mother, I started noticing some things that weren't happening before.”

“Like your skin?” Lena nodded.

“I thought it was just that, stronger skin, but… other symptoms appeared” Supergirl frowned, confused “I’ll show you” Lena got up quickly and reached for a small metal ornament, it was like but made of pure iron “watch,” she said on the sofa again and put it in the center of her palm. Suddenly she closed her hand and a sound of something breaking came out of it.

The CEO opened it again and just iron dust slipped through her fingers.

“Rao!” the hero’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened. What had just happened? Her mind screamed “Rao… I… Rao! How did you do that?” her voice came out in a higher pitch.

“Your daughter did it” Lena answered “and it’s not just that. I also don’t feel cold like before, I don’t need jackets anymore, I can lift really heavy things and I hope with my whole heart that I can’t fly, I hate flying and I’ll go mad if I’m suddenly able to do it” she rambled, filling Supergirl’s silence.

“I...” she sighed “how did this happen? I mean… you’re absorbing Seedy’s powers, but that would just be possible if your blood were mixing. I thought the human body had barriers to avoid that, like the Rh factors to avoid fetal erythroblastosis.”

“And we have those” Lena smiled, impressed “the baby’s blood flow is independent so the contact only happens in specific situations” she explained “you’re smart, Supergirl. I’m flattered to see the other side of the girl of steel” Kara blushed hard.

“Uh… thank you?”

“No need to be embarrassed or hide” Lena brushed it off and looked away “I’ve been doing some research on Krypton” now her cheeks burned “the technology is thousands of years ahead of ours, the discoveries and studies about the galaxies and stars and black holes. You were educated to be a genius of our time, so I assume anything I say is basic knowledge compared to what you know.

“Yeah… you’re right” she smiled weakly. Thinking of the past was still painful and the memories ached in her heart “certain things and subjects are obvious to me. But that doesn’t make you less intelligent or interesting… I mean, not interesting because you’re pretty and Rao! No, not pretty, I mean…”

“It’s alright, Supergirl” Lena smiled, having fun with the other woman’s sweet confusion “you’re not great with words, are you?|

“Nope, much fewer expressions and slang,” she frowned, “they make me so confused.”

“I understand and will try to avoid them while you’re here” Lena smiled. The clock was running and Lena still had to tell the last factor before something interrupted them “there’s one more symptom.”

The hero looked at her attentively and waited for the next information.

In reality, that ‘symptom’, as Lena got used to calling was something that took a while to come to her attention. It started subtly, noises that started off low and gradually gained strength like she was turning it up. She could hear the car honks on the streets, but not like before when it was just pieces of sound, now she heard every detail. She could tell whether the cars were close or not, she could hear conversations from outside her building and even though she didn’t live on the top floor - because of her fear of heights - her floor wasn’t exactly low either, and still, it made it hard to sleep.

However, it wasn’t that situation that made Lena realize what was happening to her. It was when she heard a sound, like knocks on a door. The knocks were weak, almost inaudible at first and they got higher, more audible, and taking her by surprise. Heartbeats. They were heartbeats. But not anyone’s heartbeat, not someone outside her apartment, they were from someone inside her. It was her daughter’s heart beating and now she could listen to it. And before Lena could process it, she was hearing other people’s heartbeat.

She heard Kara’s heartbeat at lunch and now she was hearing Supergirl’s.

“Give me your wrist,” Lena asked gently and Supergirl gave it to her. Lena then flipped it over and with extreme focus, tapped two fingers on it with a rhythmic methodic frequency.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s your daughter’s heartbeats, you see?” so she concentrated and focused only on Seedy’s heart. And noticed Lena was tapping her fingers at the same time as the heartbeat. Supergirl widened her eyes and once again, stared at her with confusion “and now…” she changed the rhythm with a little difficulty but soon got the hang of it “these are your heartbeats.”

“You… you can hear my heart?” Supergirl murmured in disbelief. It was weird to have someone with the same powers as her and even weirder than that someone was Lena Luthor.

Her best friend. Mother of her daughter.

What could she say? For years the kryptonian had to learn to dominate every aspect of her powers, focusing too much not to break her sister’s ribs in a hug or not hold her phone too hard. But now Lena was there, and she could hear her heart.

Rao!

No one had ever said that to her, well, no ever could do such a thing as Supergirl did. Kara didn’t know what to feel. It was too intimate, too deep and she wanted to explain how amazing it was to switch places, to know someone was literally listening to the heart. And if Lena could, then her daughter probably would too. She wondered if the Luthor was having trouble sleeping or focused, but she was too caught up in her own emotions to ask, close to tears. She couldn’t cry, superheroes don’t cry.

“Yes, I can” Lena answered after a long quiet “it started a few days ago. I didn’t give much attention to it, but it became clearer and clearer.

“And does that bother you?”

“A little bit but I like it” she admitted and her hands traveled down to her belly and stopped with a shy smile on her face “now I know that she’s here and she’s safe. It’s like a…”

“Security” Supergirl completed, lost in her thoughts “I know the feeling. I can hear your heart and Seedy’s. That’s how I know you two are safe.”

“I can hear yours and hers too” Lena sighed “is there a maximum distance your hearing can reach?”

“I don’t know, I never tested it” she shrugged “I don’t know anyone far from here, it’s just… me” the hero smiled sadly “why?”

“Because I’m traveling to Midvale and I don’t want you to be worried about us. I don’t know if you’ll be able to listen from that far” Lena smiled tenderly.

“I don’t…” Supergirl sighed “I didn’t think you… cared” she frowned. Sure, she also was going to Midvale so that wouldn’t actually be a problem. But her friend didn’t know that.

“People underestimate me, but I care” her eyes showed it “I really do care.”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me” Supergirl smiled and put one hand on her knee “have a nice trip, Lena.”

“Thanks.”

 

***

 

The most joyful part of that afternoon was Alex Danvers finding out they were going to Midvale in Lena’s private jet. When she got to the airport and looked at that money grandiosity, her excitement tripled, alongside the amount of swear words that came out of her mouth for a good minute. That, and Kara trying to stop her sister from swearing so much, after all, there was a child present. Not any child, a superchild. But that didn’t stop the redhead so Kara focused on her best friend and Agnes, who was running around the concrete area. Lena was clearly bothered with something and her hands were sweating cold, even with her body radiating warm heat.

As the pilot announced they were decollating, Kara figured out the two things that were scaring Lena: the first was the flight itself, she hated flying. Kara remembered what Lena told her earlier that morning, when she was Supergirl, that she didn’t want the power of flying. The second thing was that going to an unknown town to stay at the place of someone so important to the sisters was terrifying. As a child, even knowing other children and their parents, no one invited the other to stay at their houses. Every trip she did were business trips where Lena stayed at five-star hotels or other people came to Metropolis or National City and stayed at hotels there.

Lena didn’t have that kind of intimacy with anyone and no one seemed to care enough to build that with her.

“Eliza is dying to meet you.” Kara reassured, pulling Lena for a tight hug “thank you for coming.”

“Thanks for inviting me… I’m scared I’ll disappoint your mom” she murmured. Hugging Kara back and hiding her face on her neck, inhaling her scent “does… does she know… about us?”

“Yes, she does” Kara smiled, kissing Lena’s head. Alex was very comfortable on the jet’s couch, with Agnes lying on her feet and watching some noisy movie on the small tv screen “why are you scared?”

“Because she’s important to you and you’re important to me,” Lena said to Kara’s soft skin “you’re very important to me, Kara.”

“And you’re very important to me” she sighed “I promise you nothing bad is going to happen, Lena.”

“Even if I ruin everything?”

“That's literally impossible” Kara laughed “do you trust me?”

“Of course I do.”

“So that’s what matters” she kissed her head again, listening to Lena's breath gradually soften as she slipped away to sleep. Kara smiled with that moment, watching the clouds through the small window and letting her heart taste that feeling of security and affection “you two are what matter” she whispered.

 

***

 

Midvale was a peaceful town, its elderly residents being people that grew in those simple quiet streets, girls building families with their high school sweethearts and living the same way their parents did, with funny and cozy stories and lives. Most people there knew the Danvers, they were familiar with Jeremiah and Eliza, with their scientific discoveries and their two daughters. Well, it was also common knowledge that Kara was adopted and Alex was the sister that succeeded, the intelligent one. However, it was hard to find a resident that didn’t like them, or at least didn’t like Kara.

That was almost a fact. Hating Kara Danvers was impossible and tough hard work for those who tried to.

At the small airport, the trio took a cab to the family’s old house and got there a bit earlier than dinner time, a time that both Kara and Alex waited for anxiously, they talked non-stop about their mother’s food. Kara carried the bags to the door, which took some time since Lena decided to bring every outfit possible in five different huge bags. Alex brought the minimum amount of clothes, the same went for Kara since they had old stuff in their rooms. Eliza smiled wide as she saw the girls outside and brought them inside immediately, the cold humid wind was hard on that side of the American coast.

Unlike National City, a city of tall buildings that stood next to an almost forgotten ocean, Midvale was exactly on the coast, surrounded by a large sea extent and therefore having beautiful beaches for curious visitors during summer. And because of that, winter wasn’t so bad, but the constant wind, storms, and frost were alive and kicking throughout the whole season. Alex ran to the bathroom as soon as the door opened, in such a rush she didn’t even hug Eliza.

“Did you have a good trip?” Eliza pulled her youngster to a tight hug but was interrupted by an agitated Agnes, who ran between her legs straight into the living room.

“Agnes!” Lena tried to stop her but it was too late “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry, she seems lovely” Eliza smiles tranquil, seeing the other slightly more relaxed.

“Lena slept the whole way and Alex kept screaming at the guy from the movie” Kara answered, with Lena behind, rolling her eyes “but it was good.”

“And you must be Lena Luthor” Eliza turned her attention “I’ve wanted to meet you for so long” she pulled her for an equally tight hug. Lena hugged her back awkwardly, feeling her belly get in the way of it “oh, and you must be the seedy I heard so much about.”

“Mom, it was just a few days,” Kara scoffed “I didn’t speak that much.”

“Mothers don’t lie, honey” Eliza teased “write that down, Lena, you will always be right about your children, lying is a complicated task for them” Lena smiled delicately “maybe a hero?” she pointed to her stomach.

“Of course” Lena inhaled, trying to ignore the feelings bottling up inside her. She let the other blonde put both hands on her belly, slightly squatting so she could face it. Lena looked at Kara and she held her hand firmly, giving her the calmness she needed “Lizzie, this is Eliza” Lena murmured, putting her other hand next to Eliza’s “let’s be polite, okay?”

“Oh, I miss my pregnancy” she confessed “so many great unforgettable moments. It's a beautiful name I must say, and I’m sure she will be as pretty as her mother” Eliza got up straight again and touched Lena’s face softly “welcome, Lena. Make yourself at home and anything you need, ask me, okay?”

“Thank you” Lena nodded, holding back tears and smiling in trance “we’re thankful.”

“Mom, what about dinner?” Alex appeared out of nowhere and held her mom from behind “I’m starving? Can we have lasagna tonight?”

“Four cheese! No! Bolognese!” Kara joined in “can we have both?” Eliza rolled her eyes and Lena noticed how similar her pout was to her daughters.

“Okay, but I need you to pick some things from the market for me” she gave in and they celebrated “I’ll bake the pasta while you go there, but first be polite and take the baggage upstairs, show Lena her room and if she wants to sleep with you, Kara, I’ll ask you to keep the room clean” Alex snorted loudly and Kara’s cheeks went red, same with Lena’s.

“This holiday will be fun” Alex provoked.

“And don’t think I’ll allow that room of yours to become the mess you’re used to” Eliza interrupted “no go up, change clothes to something more comfortable. Should I take her things to the laundry room or would rather take them to the room?” She asked the CEO.

“Sure, Agnes sleeps with me” she explained “but the rest of the day she’ll spend downstairs.”

“Very well, darling” Eliza took the small bag with cute bone drawings and called the dog to follow her.

Alex rolled her eyes and helped Kara carry Lena’s heaviest bags. They walked through the hallway upstairs, Kara explaining where everything was, like the bathroom and useful things, and so arrived at her room, where she hesitated before opening the door. She touched the doorknob lightly, getting used to the nostalgic feeling of coming home, of having a home and belonging somewhere. It was intense every time.

During her first months on Earth, Kara hated having to adapt to a family that wasn’t hers, to a new room, to new rules. Jeremiah and Eliza were patient, loving, and let the girl relax little by little, allowing herself to feel and enjoy the opportunities that change brought. They let the little one decorate the room freedom, let her pick the colors, and explained that was her new home and her room was a safe space. Kara didn’t understand how a single room could keep her safe or how her parents managed to make it real. She only fully understood it when she moved to National City and had to live on her own.

“Uh… don’t judge me, okay?” Kara turned around, making Lena arch a brow.

The inside was still the same, cozy and warm. The walls were painted in yellow tones, covered with 90’s bands' posters and pop star's pictures, the ceiling had stars that glowed in the dark glued all around it. It was her favorite decoration. When Kara attended high school, Jeremiah gave her a double bed and let her pick a new studying table. Those were still there, the quilt was her favorite, a colorful flowery one with the clean smell of fabric softener

The scent always made her smile and breathe deeper, like taking in every particle could make this sentiment more real.

“I bet your sister’s bedroom is just black and grey and full of barbed wire” Lena smiled while Kara opened the curtains. From the window, you could see the beach.

“You know me so well, Luthor” Alex stopped by the door, already wearing a sweater and sneakers.

“Are you going to stop the bickering?” Kara crossed her arms.

“No!” they answered at the same time.

“I’m going down and get the car, I’ll wait for you there,” Alex said, going down the stairs.

“Darling, can you help me unzip?” Lena leaned against the door, taking off her heels, and held her hair up, pointing to the zipper. Kara felt her body tremble and swallowed discreetly, fixing the glasses over her nose.

“I like it,” Kara murmured, unzipping the dress until the end.

“What?” Lena said in a higher pitch, focusing on not getting turned on. And fucking hell. It was complicated.

“You calling me darling” she blushed, letting Lena turn around to face her.

And so her eyes got lost in her’s, so green, so crystalline. Lena held her face with both hands, caressing the cheeks with her thumbs and holding the stare up. It was in moments like these that the kryptonian was breathless and was sure her heart would burst out of her chest. She closed her eyes for a second, enjoying the tender affection and letting the feelings inside her grow even bigger. Suddenly, like a velvet whisper, her lips met hers, Lena standing on her tiptoes to reach Kara’s.

The kiss was filled with passion and both were off the world every time it happened.

“Hmm” Lena smiled over her lips “I like this, darling.”

“What?”

“Your kisses” their lips met again but we’re interrupted by Alex shouting downstairs. They laughed and Lena searched her bags for clothes, noticing her bags were put in Kara’s bedroom right away. Interesting “you go, I think I’ll stay in, today” she slipped her dress off her body, watching Kara’s eyes follow every move and her cheeks redden a little “I was standing for too long, my legs hurt and I just want to rest before dinner. Is that okay?” Lena looked up but there was no answer “Kara?”

“Yeah? Uh… I- yeah, that’s okay” she answered quickly and hugged Lena quickly “if you want to shower you can use the same bathroom as us, there are towels on the last drawer.”

“Can I wait for you to shower?” Lena smirked.

Oh, Rao!

“Su-sure” she smiled “I’ll be back soon” and kissed her again, Lena watched as she ran downstairs and heard Alex complain about the waiting.

Now that she was alone, Lena had the liberty to observe the room properly, having fun with the posters on the walls and closet door. The bedroom was everything Kara represented: it was warm, vivid with colorful and playful tones. There were pictures on the table and Lena almost cried with the meaningful simplicity of it. One photo shower a teenage Kara, blowing on candles on top of a huge chocolate cake for her fourteenth birthday, other showed a younger version of Alex hugging her sister in front of the school, and the last one was Kara’s high school graduation, wearing a red gown and holding her diploma, Eliza and Jeremiah standing on each side, eyes glowing with pride.

Lena allowed herself to feel the good emotions those pictured passed and changed to a light sweater and comfortable pants, putting on socks and not bothering to wear shoes, she tied her hair up and went back to the living room. The familiar smell of garlic and onion frying made her stomach roar with hunger. Lena laughed and slipped one hand underneath the sweater, caressing the skin and feeling a light kick.

“We’re going to eat soon baby girl” she whispered and made her way to the kitchen, finding Eliza working on the fridges on the stove and some vegetables on the table. Agnes met her halfway and barked lightly “are you hungry too?” she laughed “let’s get you some food.”

Eliza turned around not to find the intimidatingly powerful CEO or the firm impassible woman. She found herself looking at a girl that barely looked twenty-six. Lena was so comfortable, so relaxed, that she looked nineteen again when she had normal dreams and wishes like every other teenager.

“Are you tired?” Eliza smiled “taste this and tell me if it’s good” she called.

“I’m not a good cook,” Lena said shily, as the other woman put a bit of hot tomato sauce on her hand.

“Taste it and tell me” she repeated and Lena obeyed, paying attention to the taste on her tongue.

“It’s a bit acidic,” she murmured “I don’t know what’s missing.”

“Okay” Eliza nodded “when your tomato sauce is acid you can fix it in two ways,” she said, catching Lena’s attention “we either grate a little bit of carrot and let it melt or we put a bit of sugar. Which one are we doing?”

“Sugar?” Lena frowned, afraid that was the wrong answer “I don’t… cook.”

“Great choice" Eliza smiled “I understand that you don’t cook, when I was in my twenties I also didn’t, but had to change certain habits after Alex was born”

“Was it hard?” Lena leaned against the scene, watching the woman’s hand move with security “I mean, having a baby.”

“Oh yeah, it definitely was” she laughed “there were moments I wanted to give up, moments I was so exhausted I thought I wouldn’t make it. But then Alex would smile or call me mommy and I realized there was nothing wrong with just being tired.”

“I’m afraid I won’t be good enough” Lean confessed, unsure of why she was doing it “I don’t… I never had an understanding of it, how will I know how to be a mom?”

“We never do, Lena” she switched places and asked her to watch the stove “to be a mother, to raise someone and their character is like cooking. You don’t really know the recipe and there isn’t a right one” Eliza continued as she chopped the vegetables on the table “you test it, experiment it and observe what goes right and what doesn’t. There will be many mistakes and mistakes will make you feel like you’re the worst mother in the world” she sighed “but then your daughter is going to look at you as if you’re the most amazing person in the world like you’re the most important person in the universe” Eliza smiled “here’s a precious tip: don’t compare your daughter to other children, don’t think it’s bad that one kid learned how to speak with eight months and yours just said their first word with ten.”

Lena remembered Emily and how everything seemed so perfect to her.

“Do you like basil?” Eliza asked and she nodded yes “Alex hates it, just like Kara hates oregano.”

“So how do you do it?” Lena wrinkled a brow.

“I use yellow bell pepper and parsley,” she said “as a mother, you figure out miraculous ways to everything, like convincing your child that broccoli is tasteful and you can’t eat french fries every day. Believe me, you’re not going to learn it on the first day you feed them” Lena smiled and Eliza put the other ingredients on the boiling sauce “your daughter is unique, honey. Lizzie will keep being your daughter, even if you make every mistake in the book she will continue to love you endlessly. Because love isn’t in material things, in a pretty house or tasty food, it’s in your effort to make sure the world will be kind to her.

“Mom!” the moment was interrupted by Alex screaming and going through the backdoor.

“Alex!” Kara screamed right behind, “I thought you were my sister!”

“May I know what all this yelling is about?” Eliza questioned and saw Kara basically run to Lena “do not nibble the food, Kara Danvers!

“Damn it” Kara murmured, but Lena sneaked the spoon behind her and let Kara taste it “you’re my favorite” she whispered.

“I saw that” Alex pointed to them “you can’t trust a Luthor.”

“I’m only taking care of what’s mine.”

“Okay, Alex set the table, and Kara, go take a shower” Eliza commanded.

“Shall we?” Kara took her hand, smiling

“You two only shower together now?” Alex provoked, getting the plates and placing them on the table.

“Why? You want to join us?” Lena answered, smirking.

“You’re disgusting, Lutessa” Alex shot back, smiling as Lena got annoyed with the middle name emphasis “I’ll stay here with the only good Luthor in this household” she pointed to Agnes, who was circling them with a solo interest in the food.

“You’re just nosy, Danvers” Kara rolled her eyes at their snark but knew better than to try to stop it.

Instead, Kara pushed Lena out of the kitchen and they went upstairs, locking the bedroom door and finally feeling the holiday peace hit them hard. For a while now, the days they spent together with proper alone time were basically zero and they missed each other. Kara was happy now she didn’t have to worry about running away and giving an awful excuse to save the city, or having to tear herself between the DEO and CatCo. It felt good to be normal and live a life considered normal by many, but to her, was a lifelong dream. Not that she didn’t like being a hero, but every time she said goodbye to Lena, her heart ached because she was leaving behind the two people she loved the most in the world.

Lena helped her tie her hair and undid her shirt like she had done the first time. Then Kara took her pants and shoes alone, while the other woman undressed herself calmly and waited for the bathtub to fill. She had never been in such need of a shower, after walking for hours through L-Corp’s hallways and standing up for longer than necessary. Lena entered the warm water and let herself relax, feeling Kara sit behind her, placing each leg around her. Lena laid her head on her chest, clearly hearing the fast heartbeats and heavy breathing.

Kara was nervous.

“It’s okay, darling” Lena murmured softly, feeling the hardened nipples touch her back “it’s just us two here.”

“Us three” Kara laughed it off “are you in pain?”

“Hm, hm” she denied “just hungry” Lena smiled listening to Kara laugh and hug her from behind, arms joining on top of her belly.

“Lizzie, your mother uses you as an excuse to eat more” Kara pretended to whisper secretly “I’m so sorry.” she teases.

“Well, we are Luthors, she’ll get used to it” Lena smirked.

“Lizzie Luthor, I like the name” she confessed, though Kara wished her daughter would also carry her surname “can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” Lena turned her head to face Kara

“Why don’t you talk to me about… er, the changes that… your body is going through?” Kara felt her face burn “I mean not… uh, not those changes… I mean, the things because of the baby” she scoffed “Supergirl to me… well, that some things happened…”

Silence. How could Lena respond to this? Should she be honest? Should she omit something? God! Why couldn’t her life be simpler?

“Kara, I…” she sighed “it’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, I just… don’t want to push you away.”

“What do you mean to push me away?” Kara moved, pulling Lena on top of her and holding her tight.

“I’m expecting a child with a woman that I’m not in love with, that I’m not even friends with” she explained “She and I are in a good place right now because of the child, Kara. I’ve seen a lot of couples split for the same reason and I’m afraid you’ll feel left out, like an outsider, because Lizzie isn’t your biological daughter and you’re still with me despite it.” Lena let it all out, feeling the weight fall off her chest.

“Oh, Lena…” Kara held her face in her hands and touched the foreheads, silence reigning that moment and the two breathing slowly finding the same rhythm. Guilty and fear were eating her inside “I would never push myself away from you. Ever.”

“But what if…”

“No ‘buts’” Kara sighed “I love Seedy with all my heart and wouldn’t trade you and her for anyone…”

“Thank you for always being here” Lena kissed her, feeling the salty taste of tears in her lips and her heart pump in her chest “It means the world to me.”

“Thank you for letting me stay” Kara also heard Lena’s heart pump hard and loud “I made a promise, I’m not going anywhere, Lena.”

So Lena moved for another kiss, more urgent and filled with desirable lightness. They spent some more minutes in that loving atmosphere and got out of the water because the smell of dinner was driving both insane.

 

***

 

Dinner went well, Kara and Alex had a heated argument on who would have the tv that night and Lena and Eliza chatted about L-Corp's new projects. The lasagna was delicious, just like the rest of the food and soon dessert was served: lemon mousse to please Alex and chocolate pie to please Kara. Lena observed every action with care, paying attention to the details of the older mother and trying her best to make everything perfect for the daughters who were gone for too long. She felt sad, thinking of how hard it must be to let a child go and live their life.

It made her heart ache.

Letting a child go. How would Lena supposedly say goodbye to Lizzie? After five months and a couple of days, would she be able to watch her go and get used to another family, call another woman mother and never know her true origin? It didn’t seem fair, not to her and not to her daughter. Lizzie was hers and only hers. She wanted to hear her call her mama and watch her grow, she wanted to experiment Eliza’s exhaustion or rush to school presentations as Sam did. Something that caught Lena’s attention in the house was Alex's childish drawings on every holiday, either Mother’s Day or Easter. Eliza kept them all and ever put some on the wall.

Lena wanted that. She wanted to see her apartment full of drawings, of memories of baby Lizzie, of a small happy girl showing off her baby teeth and menacing when she was told no. She wanted to live those moments so much her mind was screaming for it.

In the end, Alex won the remote fight and Lena convinced Kara to go to bed, tomorrow they were going to the city and she wanted to be well-rested for the long walk. Eliza was the first to say goodnight and Agnes followed, leaving an impressed Lena. She couldn’t even say no to the dog because Eliza called Agnes up and let her bedroom door open, in case the dog wanted to change rooms later. Kara smiled and they said goodnight.

“What are all these books?” Lena asked, going through Kara’s nightstand, while the other woman put pajamas on.

“There are the ones I read when I… er, I was a kid” she hesitated. Almost slipping out something she shouldn’t “Eliza made me donate most of them but these were my favorites.”

“The story of Ferdinand, I never read it” Lena took a red cape book “Lilian wouldn’t let me read anything that wouldn’t give me useful knowledge.”

“I’ll read it to you then” Kara smiled excitedly, jumping over the bed and calling Lena to join her.

Lena laid under the hot blanket while Kara laid on her lap, opening the book with a childish smile.

“What are you doing down there?” Lena smiled at and caressed the beautiful blonde hair.

“It’s so Seedy can hear it too” she answered “Do you think she’ll be a bookworm?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you start her off?” Lena suggested and saw that smile grow even bigger.

What Kara had to keep a secret was how important that story was to her earthly adaptation. Ferdinand was a bull, as strong as any other bull, who was being trained for the bullfights, to be furious and intimidating. But he wasn’t like that. Deep down, Ferdinand was calm and like to spend time in the fields, smelling the flowers. He didn’t like violence, confusion, or having to be strong. And Kara had never felt so represented by a character. She knew what it was like to be strong and clumsy, what it felt like to control every move so no one would get hurt and do her best to not use her powers for something bad.

Kara was like Ferdinand. Sweet and calm, with huge strength but an even bigger heart.

She inhaled before start reading, her body relaxed under the fingers softly caressing her hair. It had been so long since the last time they laid down and watched a movie or spent time together. Kara didn’t really know when was the last time.

“Ready?” she murmured for the two.

“Whenever you are” Lena smiled back.

 

‘Once upon a time in Spain there was a little bull and his name was Ferdinand. All the other little bulls he lived with would run and jump and butt their heads together, but not Ferdinand. He liked to sit just quietly and smell the flowers. He had a favorite spot out in the pasture under a cork tree. It was his favorite tree and he would sit in its shade all day and smell the flowers…’

 

After she finished reading, Lena had fallen asleep and Kara could listen to the two hearts beat peacefully. Putting the book aside, Kara laid next to Lena and hugged her, promising silently that she was going to protect her family at any cost because she had never loved or felt love like that. And that quiet epiphany made her smile.

She loved Lena Luthor.

Chapter Text

The cold wet breeze made its way through the barely open window, making the atmosphere cozier and comfier. The sun was hidden behind heavy grey clouds, denoting a lot of rain to come. The room was silent, a woman with black hair covered in blankets and a cute fur ball on her feet. Her whole life, Lena never enjoyed the pleasures of a weekend or vacation. She rarely had any free time, her days were all about work, endless meetings with European and Asian investors, congresses all around the world. That was her life.

When she was a teenager, Lena promised herself not to end up like her parents or her brother, though she loved him with her whole heart. Lex was smart, a science genius, and could achieve whatever he wanted, especially because he was a Luthor and Lilian’s favorite. At thirteen, Lena was sent to a boarding school and there was no time to enjoy the extraordinary horizon Ireland showed every season. She had classes the whole weekdays and Saturday, going from early morning until six in the afternoon, then the monitors made sure every girl was in the library finishing their work and studying for the next day, then heading straight for dinner and going to bed before 9 pm. There was no time for breathing.

The athletic girls had to dedicate their Sundays, days technically made for resting, to sports. But the little Luthor wasn’t a big fan of physical brutality and therefore chose the chess club. The times she went back home was rare, not even for the big holidays like Christmas or Thanksgiving. To be very honest, throughout her school years, Lena only came back home twice. One was when L-Corp hosted a world event to release a new project and the other one was her birthday, but they didn’t celebrate it.

And so, every night before bed, Lena, feeling upset and just mainly sad, used to swear she wouldn’t let her life be like that once she had control of it. She wanted to be like her classmates, who used to leave the school on the weekends to visit the nearest town, who went to girls' nights and spent the holidays with their families, taking pictures and building memories. But that dream was over, her brother lost whatever remained of his sanity and all the responsibilities of the Luthor name fell on her, like a bag of sharp stones, bruising her deeply and making her realize she didn’t have a saying, she didn’t have a choice, again.

It was like reliving a cycle, not time for herself, to go out and have fresh air in the park, or just watch tv in her apartment. Life didn’t stop, Lena didn’t stop. In a blink of an eye, Lena was twenty-five, living in National City, running a multimillion company, and maintaining a strong, unbreakable CEO image. She learned to like her work, learned how to be a stronger, more centered, and balanced woman - at a certain level - but she missed having time to catch a breath. Going through a path like hers would tire any human being, and that was exactly what Lena felt: exhaustion.

The whole house was already awake, Eliza finishing some chores, Alex lying on the couch while Kara attacked the fridge. Lena was the only one still asleep. It was rare, no it was a first, Lena was always the first to get up, no matter the day or circumstance. However, her body was begging for a break, for a rest, after all her energy was being divided for two people at the same time, so it was well deserved. With those facts in mind and knowing her friend like the palm of her hand, Kara decided to cuddle her, let her sleep in, and bring her a great breakfast in bed.

Kara went up the stairs on tiptoes, focusing on not dropping anything, and opened the door with her shoulder, putting the breakfast on the nightstand and slowly opening the curtains. The light invaded the room with no hesitation, making Lena grumble and hide her face under the pillow. Kara smiled and sat beside her, moving the messy hair from her cheeks, and laughed at the inaudible complaints. Lena was not a day person. Kara got her face under the pillow too, finding the lovely green eyes staring at her with a sleepy, lazy look

“Good Morning” Kara whispered, catching a glimpse of a smile but the other woman pretended to be asleep “I saw your eyes open, Lena.”

“Damn it” she murmured and opened her eyes again, finding the blue irises looking at her with warmth “morning…”

“Did you sleep well?” they were still under the pillow and the proximity made it hard to breathe.

“Uhum,” Lena nodded yes and got up, sitting on the bed. Agnes felt the movement and yawned, already full of energy and glad to her mother awake “someone took your place this morning” she petted the dog.

“I asked her to take care of you while I made this” she took the breakfast with both hands, showing the work proudly “we have fruits, coffee, toast, eggs, Seedy’s and my favorite yogurt, because I share with her, but not every time because I think she eats more than I do and…” Kara laughed, realizing she was rambling again “sorry…” Lena smiled and kissed her, making her body shake with the touch.

“What time is it?” Lena asked.

“Nine thirty, I think” Kara answered, taking a bit of a strawberry.”

“Why did you let me sleep so much? It's almost ten!” Lena complained, looking at her phone screen “I never slept in so late.”

“That’s why” she smiled “you’re practically on vacation baby, there’s no need to rise with the sun like you always do.”

“Baby?”

“O-oh... I… it's a uh… a pet name… but, if you don’t like it or it’s too soon, so…” Kara tried to explain herself with gestures, and with every move, her face grew redder.

“Words, dear” Lena kissed her again “and I don’t mind, actually… I don’t think I ever had a pet name.”

“I can make so many up for you” Kara smiled, touching the tip of their noses.

“I can make so many up too” Alex walked into the room and threw herself, messing the atmosphere and making Agnes stand up to the invasion “but I like calling you Lutessa” she took the plate with the fruits.

“Alex! These are for Lena!” Kara tried to take it back but her sister dodged, laughing.

“Doesn’t have her name here” she provoked.

“How are you so insufferable?” Lena joined in “you want me to make you breakfast in bed too?”

“It’d be my dream” irony was dripping from her voice.

“You’ve been dreaming too much about me, Danvers” Lena recovered the plate, while Kara watched the.

“If you want to know the other, you’ll have to sleep with me” Kara scoffed at the words.

“Are you two always so disgusting?” Kara interrupted.

“Lena loves me, she just won’t admit it” Alex shrugged.

“Needy much, Danvers?” Lena smirked “I can let you sleep between us but I know a friend who would love to meet this sarcasm in bed” Alex felt her face burn and didn’t know how to answer.

“Who?” Kara alternated looks between them.

“No one.”

“Samantha Arias” Lena answered for her, hearing the redhead choke “oh, c’mon I felt the tension.”

“The only thing pregnant people feel is tense, not tension” Alex shot back, defensive “I’ll have this” she took the toasts and got up “Eliza is waiting for you downstairs, says she got a gift.”

And ran out of the room before the subject turned back to something she did not feel like talking about, leaving both women alone, laughing about Alex’s nervousness. After they finished breakfast, Kara explained to her that they were going to the town before lunch because she wanted to take her somewhere special, to talk about the city and her mother also asked them to go to the market to get some ingredients for Thanksgiving. Lena agreed and put on very comfortable clothes to walk because Lena was getting tired quickly and didn’t want to ruin it for everyone with her pain.

While Kara finished writing the shopping list with her sister, Agnes, with them trying to claim some attention to her, Lena walked around the living room to find the elderly Danvers focused on a book. She sat beside her and was giving a sweet look, surrounded by that wiser understanding energy. Something that Lena only got to know a few years before, when she met a cute talkative reporter. That time with the Danvers was substantially changing her heart, but Lena didn’t know what that meant. Eliza showed her a different type of love, one that made her feel safe and welcome, maskless love that hid no feelings.

It was like Lena could be herself, unafraid and unapologetically, because there they would all support her no matter what.

“Did you sleep well?” Eliza put the book away “I remember I used to feel so much back pain at five months. How do you feel?”

“More tired and sleepy than usual.” Lena sighed.

“Lizzie is growing and she’s going to steal all your energy, that’s why you have to eat and sleep properly” she explained, “I bought you something, it’s not grand but I hope you like it.”

“You shouldn’t have” Lena smiled awkwardly, seeing the other woman take a small blue box from her pocket.

“I got one of these when I was pregnant with Alex” Eliza opened the box, revealing a fragile golden necklace chain “Jeremiah had it done after we found it was a girl and when we adopted Kara we thought it’d be good to add another one” she showed her own necklace, hanging on her neck, exposing two small golden girly shapes.

And Lena realized her necklace also had two pendants, one was girl shaped and one wrote her daughter’s name: Lizzie. They were both tiny, delicate, and golden, like the necklace.

“May I?” Eliza asked and Lena just nodded, feeling a lump in her throat.

That amount of affection was getting to Lena and would break her at any time. Another wall inside of her crumbled and fell in a way she was already used to. Lena never thought of herself deserving of so much love and care, but there she was, receiving gifts and being cuddled and living with the family she always dreamed about. Lena still remembered the wishes she made to a star in the blue sky, to have people that loved her, accepted her, and made her feel as if she was the luckiest girl in the world. That dream disappeared after she was adopted and Lena realized Lilian would never be the mother she dreamed of.

Eliza placed the object around her neck and looked at her with so much care that Lena let a sob out. Fucking hormones.

“Don’t be like that” Eliza held her tight, caressing her hair.

“I hate crying but I can’t help it” Lena cried and laughed at herself “this pregnancy is killing me.”

“It’ll be over soon and then you’re going to miss it” Kara and Alex walked into the living room, waving the finished shopping list “because then she is going to grow up and be moody like Alex.”

“Mom!”

“I want you three back by lunch and don’t let Lena tire herself,” Eliza said in that mom's voice and dismissed them.

 

***

 

Alex drove peacefully through the empty streets on the holiday week when most families went away or just stayed at home. The city was well developed, but it didn’t come near National City or Metropolis, its tall buildings reached the foggy sky, catching tourists’ attention. The uniquely simple architecture went well with the green of the parks and big shopping malls, giving that seaside city a more luxurious look, and it was aesthetically pleasing with the small old houses downtown.

Not much time later, Alex parked in front of a public school that was still open for its last day before winter break. The kids’ screaming was audible from the streets, so many voices creating a sense of happiness and nostalgia. Lena frowned and studied the windowless building not understanding why they were there. They got out of the car and walked together, Kara intertwining their fingers and Alex leading in front. At the entrance, they were welcomed by an older woman with faded hair, who hugged Alex tightly and went on about how much she had grown.

The same went for Kara, who got embarrassed but at the same time, joyful. Then her look hesitated when she got to Lena, the only stranger there.

“And who is this?” The woman asked with sympathy and curiosity.

“This is Lena, my…”

“Girlfriend” Alex finished, making both of them almost choke. “Apparently you were right, Ruth,” she winked to the woman.

“I knew this girl wasn’t much into the boys” Ruth commented with a smile “you’re going to be a mother!” she looked at Lena’s stomach.

“It’s a Danvers thing” Alex continued “and yes, she is!”

“Alex!” Kara groaned.

“I’m so happy for you!” The woman hugged Kara again “you’re going to be an amazing mom” and so she turned to the Luthor, who was still quiet “it was very nice to meet you.”

“Likewise” Lena was dry, touching her belly.

“Well, make yourselves at home, recess is over and the kids are all in the classrooms now.”

The school was divided into two parts, one for the middle school and one for high school, the walls were filled with drawings, warning papers, and Christmas decorations. That was the place where the Danvers sisters grew up and learned most things they knew. It was where Alex got in so much trouble to protect her sister and where Kara learned how to be more human, making a few friends, having her first teachers and teen crushes. Nostalgia took over them and the CEO tried to take it all in with curiosity, she had never stepped foot in a public school before.

Halfway there, Alex told them she was going to look for a friend who was a teacher there and would be back in a second. They nodded and continued to walk until they got to the auditorium, where the walls were covered in senior class photos. The class went from 1990 to date, Alex’s name was in the class of 2003, and Kara in 2006. Many other names were written next to her’s, some she barely remembered. But some Kara never forgot.

“This girl really didn’t like me” Kara pointed to a name above hers “actually, none did.”

“I like that, keeps my jealousy under control” Lena joked and Kara cocked a brow.

“You’re jea...Will!” she turned around quickly to a guy that poked her shoulder “how long… I, I thought you had left” Kara hugged him and her smile largely, lighting a dangerous flame in the Luthor’s heart.

“Midvale has its charm and I couldn’t say goodbye” Will smiled “you haven’t changed one bit, still the girl with the prettiest smile in town” Kara laughed awkwardly and gulped, embarrassed with the compliment as always.

“Oh… that’s…” she scoffed, feeling Lena hold her hand “let me introduce you my…”

“Girlfriend” Lena promptly said, shaking his hand “Lena Luthor” her CEO posture took over. Lena rarely used her last name when meeting new people, to avoid judgment, but now she wanted to make clear exactly who she was.

“Now I get why you wouldn’t go out with me” he smugged, Kara’s face burning with no inhibitions.

“Words of a man’s broken ego” Lena jumped at him “won’t you admit she turned you down simply because you’re not good enough? It would spare you so much time and embarrassment.”

“William, interesting seeing you here” Alex returned to them and stood next to her sister “the guy that never took no for an answer, I thought you were married.”

“No, I didn’t go through with it” he shrugged, feeling uncomfortable with the three women.

“Keep that up, don’t lure a girl into that mistake” Lena provoked with fire in her eyes.

“Anyway, it was good to see you, Kara, Alex” he scratched the back of his neck “nice to meet you, Lena.”

“Can’t say the same” Lena grumbled but the two sisters heard her.

The man walked away, confused about what had just happened and Alex guided them to the school hall because the surprise they - the Danvers - had for the Luthor was about to begin. During the way, Kara felt bad about the way Will behaved himself in front of someone he didn’t know, lacking respect and bringing up things from the past like that for no reason. She let her sister go ahead and stayed behind to look at the woman next to her, also very quiet.

“I’m sorry about Will” Kara murmured, feeling Lena’s hand sweat “he… he was always… like that. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t worry, really” Lena sighed, averting her eyes “I shouldn't have… said anything or assumed we were something, I jumped ahead of myself, I don’t want you to feel obligated to…”

“I’d love to be your girlfriend, Lena” Kara smiled bright, leaving Lena speechless.

And breathless. She could hear Kara’s heart, just like she was hearing hers.

“We… can talk later” Lena changed the subject quickly, she was not in the state of mind to talk about that now “why are we here?”

“I want to show you something” Kara guided her by the hand and they met Alex ahead, going into the crowded room full of chairs and talkative parents.

They looked for seats near the small stage and the lights went out. Silence was made, except for quiet whispers, very audible for a certain Luthor and a certain Danvers with super hearing. A young woman with perfectly tied hair and a large smile walked towards the microphone in the center of it and announced a Thanksgiving presentation was about to start. As she walked out, a group of children around five years old walked into the stage, all dressed up. The girls wore old farmer costumes, some of the boys were farmers and the younger ones wore turkey hats, made by them probably.

“This is the story of the first Thanksgiving” a little boy tiptoed to the microphone to announce it and all the adults let out a cute ‘aw’.

The kids organized themselves and began to sing a joyful song to celebrate the holiday, dancing with no coordination. Some teachers helped the younger ones, while the older children had memorized the choreography. Parents took pictures and filmed the whole thing, having fun with their daughters and sons. They were proud. Lena observed the way some parents were shy and didn’t move as much, others were standing proud and some were even lost with so many children. Lena understood all of them perfectly, she felt the same. Her eyes teared up.

Lena was crying because she had never experienced a moment like that, never witnessed such a reality. Where children made presentations, showed their drawings and parents admired them with cheek hurting smiles. That could be her life, Lizzie could be one of those children, watching her from up the stage, a little shy and awkward, but once their eyes met, she would know exactly what to do. She would ignore the embarrassment and go on to make the best presentation in the world to her mother. Because Lena would mean everything to her. Suddenly Kara reached for her hands and Alex smiled, putting a hand on her shoulder.

It was the best surprise she could’ve asked for.

I wanted you to see exactly what it could be like for you, Lena” Kara whispered, hearing Lena’s cry quietly “when Lizzie looks at you from up there, knowing you dropped everything to be present, she’s going to smile and prove to you that, no matter any mistakes, you’ll always be the best mother in the world.”

 

***

 

They got home at lunchtime, the three stomachs roaring with hunger. Eliza was truly a great cook and her food was one of the best the CEO had ever tasted. Winning against expensive five-star restaurants from so many different cultures, the homemade meal prepared with so much love and attention just tasted better. It wasn’t because of the sauces or the food itself, but for the moment, the atmosphere and company. They ate until they couldn’t anymore, with great conversation and laughs, making Lena wonder if her life would be like that if she said yes to Kara and the new label.

The doubts weren’t about Kara, but her fears and apprehensions, because Lena had never been in a relationship that way. Sure, there had been Jack and he occupied an important part of her heart, but when she had to choose between her company and him, who she loved, Lena chose her company with no second thought. So, as much as she liked him, it was never true love, the kind of love that makes you reconsider plans, that makes you think of that person as an extension of herself. And Jack wasn’t that. Lena wouldn’t trade any of her dreams or aspirations or dreams. But Kara was her best friend, the person who trusted her the fullest and gave her much more than Lena ever thought she deserved.

Kara made her realize carrying the burden of being a Luthor shouldn’t be such a heavyweight that, yes, her mother and brother had made mistakes and made Lena pay for those and they still haunted her dreams. However, that weight didn’t belong to, Lena only punished herself for not realizing earlier, for not acting quick enough. Maybe that was her chance. Her chance to be really loved, to let someone into her defenses. But she was scared, scared they would fall apart because Lena didn’t know how to put them back up again.

After lunch, Alex and Kara went to clean the kitchen while Eliza finished important work. Of course, there was fighting before it, because Alex fought strongly for the tv remote and Kara shouted at all ears that it was her turn, and the discussion ended up involving water and dirty dishes. Lena shook her head, watching the two children yelling, and decided to use that time for L-Corp. She brought her notebook to the now empty table and began reading some emails, answering the relevant ones and forwarding others to Sam. Which led her to the thought it might be good to call Sam and see how everything was in National City.

Now that she was alone and the place was quiet, Lena skyped her friend. The sisters had gone upstairs to take a shower after the soap and water war.

“Ms. Luthor, should I remind you that you are on vacation with your girlfriend and her extremely attractive sister?” Was the first thing Sam said as she picked it up.

“Good afternoon for you too” Lena rolled her eyes “you know I like to keep all the tabs on the company.”

“Yes, I do, but it’s not because we like things that we should do them” Sam smirked, “and yes, of course, everything is fine here, nothing big happened while you were away.”

“A lot of work?” Lena asked, looking at her paper “did the investors say anything about the new project?”

“They provide more money so it would be done as fast as possible, but turns out we can’t accelerate labs” Sam explained “I have been working a lot, yeah, but Ruby has been coming with me since there isn’t school this week.”

“Tell her I send a hug” she smiled “and don’t stay at L-Corp too late, please.”

“Yes ma’am” Sam winked. But before Lena could continue the conversation, Alex walked behind her, heading for to the kitchen for a glass of water

The problem was, the only thing she had on was a large shirt from college, with a baseball team name and its pet drawn on it. The rest of her body was as naked as the day she was born and the wet short hair was involved in a white towel.

“Nice legs, Danvers” Sam commented, smug.

“Holy Shit!” Alex jumped out, almost dropping the glass “fuck, Lena! Why didn’t you tell me it was a video call?”

“I had no time” Lena pretended she cared “but I wouldn’t have warned you if I had had.”

“Don’t worry, Alex, I promise I won’t tell anyone about this” Sam was trying her best not to laugh “maybe you just made my day better” she teased.

“She’s very interested in showing you what’s under the shirt” Alex choked, hearing Lena’s audacity.

“Okay, I’m going to go watch a movie” Alex changed subjects quickly “I...uh, I’m sorry about this.”

“Oh, don’t be” Sam decided to keep the tone “Now I have a reason to be more relaxed at work” she winked.

“That’s what friends are for,” Alex said in the same tone, two could play this game.

Lena cocked a brow, considering leaving the two women alone.

“You’re not using that sentence with me, Danvers,” Sam snorted, crossing her arms and shamelessly staring at Alex’s body moving under the shirt.

“I can use whatever sentence I want, I just can't promise you what will happen later” Alex smirked, proud of herself for turning that situation of shame around.

“Aham, I’m still here” Lena complained, hearing Sam laugh out loud again “I ask to keep this decent and please, do it privately” the words came with a hint of jealousy that wasn’t unnoticed.

“Go have fun, Lena'' Sam moved on the screen “and don’t worry about me, I’ll always be here to annoy you. And you’re still my favorite” Lena rolled her eyes and the call ended.

Lena got her paper and notebook from the table and put them back in her bag. Leaving the bag in her room, she headed to the couch, where the sisters were laying down, Agnes between them. That fog had never been so cuddled in her life. Eliza was constantly feeding her pieces of meat in the kitchen. She was sleeping wherever she felt like, the couch, Eliza’s bed, although she always ended in Lena’s bed. Kara, seeing Lena approach them, quickly sat up and opened her legs so Lena could sit between them.

“I missed you, you weren’t giving me any attention” and pouted, earning a peck on the lips.

“I needed to answer some emails, but now I promise you my attention is yours”, she smiled tenderly but slowly grimaced, dancing moving her shoulder “though I wanted to continue my back hurts and I can’t find a comfortable position on the chair.”

“You two are so corny my lunch went up and I had to swallow it down again” Alex grumbled, trying to focus on the movie while petting Agnes under the blanket.

“I have the remedy for that,” Lena took a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it over. “the doctors usually prescribe it and use it more than once a day, it prevents stress, moodiness, and even wrinkles” the sisters looked at each other, confused.

Either Lena was serious or they were missing something.

“Lena!” Alex complained, reading the paper and Kara laughed out loud.

“You’re welcome” Lena smirked, “you can text Sam and start using the medicine that begins with an S.”

“With an S?” the blonde frowned “what is it?”

“Sex.”

“Serotonin.”

Kara stared at them, blank.

“Why do I even try?” She sighed, dropping the subject.

She began to press on Lena’s shoulder, going up the neckline until the ear and going back. She could feel the tension gradually leaving, as Lena slowly relaxed. Every time Kara touched her like this, something else grew inside her, because the desire was only getting bigger and they were doing nothing about it. Lena closed her eyes and moaned silently, more than grateful for the massage. However, she was turned one and her mind wandered away, imagining things she would never say out loud. They agreed to take it slow.

But that was almost a month ago.

“Ugh, Lutessa, if you’re making a porno here at least let me get ready” Alex threw a cushion on her face and received a mortal glare “don’t give me that look.”

“Stop being a killjoy, Danvers” Lena grumbled

“Oh no, no, no, I know joy very well” she retorted, making Kara sigh loudly.

“Okay, let’s change the subject” Kara scoffed. She was not talking about sex in front of her older sister with her… friend present “Lena, I want to take you out tonight. Is that okay? I don’t want you to be tired, or hurt or…”

“Of course it is” Lena turned her face and kissed her lightly, smiling at something inaudible coming from Alex “I just don’t want to stay up too late.”

“I promise you we won’t take long” Kara smiled, admiring the crystal green irises.

“Agnes, how do you handle this?” Alex questioned the dog who looked at her with confusion “if one day you need to escape, you’re welcome at my place.”

“Jealous much, Danvers?”

“Shut it, Lutessa.”

 

***

 

Hell ensued when Kara asked Lena to get ready and she went for a bath in the other bathroom. Lena didn’t think it would be so complicated or this painful. The moments she felt insecure about her body and beauty were somewhat rare. Of course, as a teenager, Lena went through the bad thoughts, the desire to go on impossible diets but with time she learned to accept herself and see she didn’t need to reach the standards. But now, with the pregnancy, her state of mind grew weaker, and looking at a mirror became something hard to do.

After the conversation she had with Alex at the bar months ago, Lena forced herself to try and have more positive thoughts. It was easier when her love for Lizzie was established and watching her belly grow warmed her heart, because her daughter was there, keeping her company and growing strong. Five months had passed, five months of drastic changes and acceptance that her body wasn’t the same, her mind wasn’t the same, but now it was hard. Not because the sadness about the lack of control over her own body had disappeared, but because Lena wanted to look pretty tonight.

Kara deserved all her effort.

Lena’s self-esteem went down the drain as she noticed stretch marks made their way on her lower stomach, showing another detail that added up to the huge change in her life. She wanted to cry and scream, it pained her deeply. Tracing the naked skin softly, Lena felt each mark and took a deep breath fighting against tears that insisted on falling. How could she face Kara with something so deeply marked? What would she think now that her beauty wasn’t the same as before? Lena knew her friend wasn’t futile but it hurt. It hurt to know those marks would never go away.

She sat on the bathroom floor with only underwear, make-up fully done, and tried to focus on something else. But it was useless. Lena was broken, inside and out and in these moments of shatter, her destructive thoughts invaded her. Her mother’s voice saying how irresponsible she was echoed loud, alongside the repetitive fear she wasn’t good enough for Lizzie, it broke her heart. How would Lena be strong enough for a child when she wasn’t even strong enough for herself? It’s just stretch marks, Lena repeated quietly, you’re still pretty.

Lena laughed cruelly, feeling another tear escape. She was pregnant, gaining weight, her clothes were all tight, neither of her best dresses fitted her anymore and now she was marked forever. It made her realize Lizzie would always be there. even if she signed the adoption paper, her daughter would still be in her body, in her stomach, her legs, her arms, and her bruised heart. Those marks were proof her girl was alive and writing something illegible on her skin.

Lena hugged her knees and allowed the tears to come out, too tired to hold the lump in her throat. Suddenly the door was open and bright blue eyes stared at her, confused but showing comprehension.

“What happened, baby?” Kara kneeled down fast, hearing the fastened heartbeat “Are you in pain? Are you okay?” she traced the long black hair and waited for an answer.

“Nothing fits me and I… I feel horrible” she confessed “I… I look in the mirror and don’t see myself, sometimes…” Lena raised her head and didn’t hide any of her pain “I wanted to look for you tonight…”

“Oh, Lena” Kara sat down next to her and pulled her close, Lena hide her face on her neck, breathing slowly “you would be gorgeous wearing a potato bag| kara smiled “you don’t have to wear the fanciest most expensive clothes you have, it’s just me, your friend/ And to me, Lena, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world” their eyes met “and if you want to stay at home, we don’t have to go anywhere.”

“No” she murmured, and asked a hand to get up “I… I want to go, but look…” Lena pointed to the white marks on her stomach “they’re so ugly, Kara.”

“They’re proof you’ve created a life for five months” Kara answered, putting a hand on her cheeks “they make me think of Seedy, of how amazing she will be when she’s born, and they don’t make you ugly, baby, on the contrary” she sighed “they make you even prettier. I know...it can sound like a lie or that I’m just trying to… help you, but I…” she looked away.

“Look at me,” Lena asked quietly, holding her face with both hands “take a deep breath, okay?” she nodded.

“I’m sorry, I just… I want you to know I really think you’re extraordinary and your eyes are my favorite and so is your skin and your hair and…” Kara blushed “your smile…”

So Lena kissed her, hard and passionate, trying to put all her insecurities and boxes and burying them deep inside her soul. There was no need to feel those things when her friend was there saying and repeating good mantras. What did Lena do to deserve someone like her? She never dreamed of having someone like Kara. It felt surreal, like an impossible dream or a beautiful illusion. Lena was still waiting for the day it would all fall apart because everything always did. Good things never lasted. Lena was never able to deal with personal relationships without breaking them into little pieces.

“I’m going to get changed but can we go to a quiet place?” Lena asked, hesitant.

“Whatever you want” Kara kissed her again.

Deciding against the impossible effort, Lena chose a light grey dress with long sleeves and somewhat loose, so Lizzie wouldn’t be tightened by it. She let her hair down, falling into place like a black waterfall, and searched for a jacket, knowing the cold wasn’t something to worry about. The sunset painted the city orange and gold, with majestic glisten covering the old sea and gracing every person with its greatness. There was something about the sun that always charmed Lena, she couldn’t explain but it always took her breath away.

They chose to go on foot, even though Alex insisted on giving them a ride since she wanted to leave the house too. The walk was reigned by a comfortable silence. The seashore was empty due to the wet freezing wind that ran in the afternoon. The waves punched the sand and ran back to the ocean, repeating the process with fascinating similarity. Lena couldn’t remember the last time she had been close to the ocean, admiring it, feeling the salty breeze. To be honest, the peace and quiet were very welcome now, especially after the bathroom incident. It made her forget about why she was crying and worrying because there, at that moment, it was just her, Kara, and Lizzie.

And Lena could get used to that. A family, she thought.

Her fingers were intertwined with Kara’s, her bare feet sank down on the wet sand and her skin shivered with the contact. Peace. It was like walking on clouds, floating in the hot golden sky, the wind kissing her face and brushing her hair. God, she needed that, that genuine happiness that carried no weight, that didn’t suffocate or scared her. Lena couldn’t even think about going back to her routine again, the meetings, advising, piles of paper, and the lack of Kara every day, not walking up by her side. It felt wrong.

“Dance with me?” Kara asked in a whisper. Her heart pounded in her chest and she had to be careful, otherwise, she’d end saying everything she was keeping inside it.

“I don’t dance” Lena frowned “and we don’t have music.”

Kara picked her phone from her pocket and chose a song, connecting the headphones. She gave one to her friend and let her put it in her ears. The melody was soft, giving her the sensation of being in a cliche movie, one of those that makes you believe in true love. That love you find in a random coffee shop on a rainy Saturday morning.

“Kara…”

“Shh…” she silenced her with a finger to her lips. Their bodies were closer than ever, Kara held her back and held a hand on hers.

Lena laughed with disbelief while the song continued on the gadget, so she moved alone, dancing with sand on her legs. The wind pushed her hair, alongside the blonde strands, and Lena realized how good they looked together. Everything seemed to fit so perfectly that her heart wished to never wake up from that dream.

 

'Come a little bit closer
Hear what I have to say
Just like children sleeping
We could dream this night away'

 

Kara twisted them in place with some difficulty and they laughed. They weren’t pros, no even amateurs, they barely knew what they were doing. Their foreheads touched, the harmonica played and nobody else heard. The lyrics, the verses, each chord was theirs, like a secret performance, a song only they could hear and understand its meaning. It was what made that moment so special, the fact that no one could stop them.

 

“Because I'm still in love with you, I want to see you dance again” Kara whispered with her eyes closed “Because I'm still in love with you, on this harvest moon…”

“Kara?” their eyes were still closed, heart beating on the same rhythm, souls intertwined.

 

'We know where the music's playing
Let's go out and feel the night'

 

“Hm?”

“I do” Kara stopped for a moment.

“What?”

“Want to be your girlfriend.”

 

'Because I'm still in love with you'

 

***

The rain was merciless that morning, washing away the trace of footsteps on the beach, turning the night before into just a memory. A beautiful memory. They walked back home with contagious joy, innocent stolen kisses, and no worries about what was to come. Lena fell asleep as soon as she laid down, tired from the walk and the emotional rollercoaster that last days were. She said yes to being her best friend’s girlfriend, what happened now? The two of them were afraid of not being good enough for the other, of dragging irreparable traumas to the relationship, overcoming their care and love.

The night bore witness to their almost inexistent courage and observed them sleep next to each other, arms holding their bodies like Atlas holding the world in his hands, silently begging it wouldn't fall down.

Lena woke up feeling lost, unable to find her phone and check the time. The sun was hidden behind a sea of clouds, leaving her clueless. Agnes had left the bed and so did Kara, who warmed the other side of the bed. Lena followed her morning routines and soon went downstairs, looking for any signs of life in the house. She found Eliza and Alex sat in front of the tv, talking about Alex’s routine and work, but what she wanted to know was where her girlfriend might be now.

Her body trembled. Girlfriend. It didn’t seem real.

“Good morning, honey” Eliza turned to see a sleepy Luthor “did you sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you” she smiled “where is Kara?”

“Back porch” Alex answered, “she’s with Agnes.”

Lena nodded and walked to the back door, catching a glimpse of a smiling blonde sitting next to an excited dog. Kara got up and ordered Agnes to lay down, to which she promptly obeyed.

“Now, sit,” she asked again “yeah, very good! Who’s the best dog in the world? That’s right, you are!” Kara gave her a snack and petted her ears “now, bark” she obeyed again.

“You know she only does that because she wants to eat, right?”

Lena commented, hugging the woman from behind and resting her chin on her shoulder.

“If I do the same, do I get food too?” Kara joked.

“You’re so dumb” she kissed her cheek “what are today’s plans?”

“Nothing, for now, Eliza is visiting an old colleague and Alex is driving her” she answered, turning to face her “are you tired?”

“Just hurting a little, nothing serious” Lena shrugged “I need a bath.”

“I’ll meet you there soon” Kara smiled and kissed her.

Lena observer her sit down on the floor again, she knew Kara would take a while but that didn’t matter. She made was way back through the living room, now empty, and went upstairs slowly, trying to be careful with her aching feet. Her sleeping shirt didn’t fit her body perfectly, leaving her lower stomach exposed because of the growing belly, Lena found it adorable. She traced the skin softly, trying now to freak out again, and smiled, reminding herself that Lizzie was well and healthy. The feeling of safeness she felt for keeping that baby there was confusing and always caught her by surprise. Lena knew the world was a cruel place, unfair when it came to choices and unforgiving most of all. She didn’t want her daughter to suffer, and so she loved the fact she was comfortably sleeping inside her belly.

As she got to the second floor, Lena observed the four doors positioned almost in front of one another. The last one belonged to Alex’s bedroom, which was in front of the bathroom. An instinct in her body made Lena wonder. Since the last pregnancy lesson, Lena hadn't talked to Alex about the tiny bottled in her purse, not that she hadn't seen them but she could clearly hear them tingle. Lena didn’t want to be invasive, especially because she hated when people were invasive to her, but she was afraid of asking and not getting an answer. Which wouldn’t be a surprise when it came to Alexandra Danvers.

Lena opened the door carefully, hearing the door creak, and observed the decoration. Unlike her girlfriend, tones of Bordeaux and grey graciously covered the room, objects of the desk and the bed's quilt. There were photographs on the bedside and the nightstand, books scattered on the shelves, and clothes thrown on a white chair. Alex’s smell invaded her lungs but something else caught her attention. Alcohol smell. Lena took a deep breath and walked to one of the shelves, finding her travel bag and opening it. Documents, receipt papers made an endless mess and, next to them, small bottles of vodka.

Lena wasn’t surprised. She looked under the bed and found an empty bottle of beer, some that Lena didn’t even see Alex drink or buy. Aware she had probably crossed every line possible, Lena left the bedroom and headed to hers, a bath awaited her.

She undressed calmly as the water went up the baths white walls, not paying attention to her reflection. She wasn’t ready yet. Lena put her clothes aside and tested the water temperature, smiling as the warmth touched her nerves. As she got into the water, every member of her body thanked her and she let the tension slide away. It was getting harder not to tire, not to feel the changes and her daughter’s weight. Lizzie would probably grow much more, keeping her from taking long walks or standing up for hours.

In mornings like those, Lena was grateful Kara got up before her. She didn’t like being aline but Lena wouldn’t be able to explain or control her body’s reaction every time she hugged her or touched her belly. Hot, she was hot again. Lena sighed, why did she have to be an endless well of hormones? Lena was tired of not relieving herself the way she wanted, the way she needs and her body might combust if she didn’t do something about it.

Lena took the handheld shower and turned it on, letting the waterfall on her neck. One hand caressed her breasts while the other aimed the water to her nipples, causing her skin to shiver and her nipples to harden. She leaned her head on the bath and slid the hand down, ignoring every sound from outside and focusing on where she needed to. Lena awkwardly opened her legs and slid a finger between them, feeling the warmth and suppressing a moan that fought its way out. In circling movements, she increased the friction on her clit and aimed the water directly to her center, her pleasure growing bigger.

She closed her eyes and let the moan out quietly, her body shaking. Lena knew that was not going to relive her current state but it had to work. She was getting closer to release when a loud knock on the door yanked her away from the bliss.

“Lena?” Kara called and she sat down quickly “is everything okay?”
Fucking hell.

Her heart pounded out of control and Lena felt a whole new type of irritation. She could cry about the interruption and the desperate need for physical contact.

“Ye-yeah” she gagged the answer, looking for her robe and unlocking the door “yeah, Kara I’m fine” she walked into the room, not having the guts to look at her face.

“You’ve been in there for a while, I thought…”

“I’m fine” Lena was firmer, almost dry and Kara looked down, she felt guilty.

She took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, I just…” Lena was sure to keep a safe space between their bodies “I’m just stressed and irritated about… somethings.”

“Tell me what I can do to help,” Kara asked tenderly, unsure as to stay in place or take a step forward. The room was still dark, windows and curtains closed, the rain hir the glass hard “please…”

What was Lena supposed to say? That she needed sex? That she missed being touched like that and losing her breath to orgasms? She didn’t dare to even put it into words. Lena sighed and when she looked at the woman in front of her, she saw two tender blue eyes staring at her with care and trust. Kara wanted to help her. Keeping that in mind Lena undid her robe and felt it slid down, the velvet touch being enough to light the fire again. She was naked and exposed, all details and defects there to see.

She stepped closer to Kara, breathing heavily and holding her face, her warm fingers electrified by her cold skin. They looked at each other with intensity and certain anxiety. Lena took her hands to her breasts, giving the other woman time to get used to the feel. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the moment. Kara panted and moved her thumbs over the hard nipples, ready to be touched, watching the other woman moan, hands shaking.

“What do you need, Lena?” she whispered.

“I need you to touch me, Kara.”

Chapter Text

Many might say intimacy is the key to a loving relationship, it’s how couples get to know each other better, where they create a commonplace and see each other uncovered from the protective cape everybody has. Others might say it’s trust that builds love, respect, and companionship together no matter the intimacy, after all, any relationship - sexual or not - can be intimate. However, it’s wrong to think the two concepts aren’t intertwined.

Trust is a word that comes from the Latin ‘confidentia’, of confidere, which means ‘to fully believe, surely’ to believe surely. When you love, you trust and so you believe. You believe in their truths, in their words, their promises and believe that, as your heart expects the better, a better future for you, your partner believes the same. In a relationship, it’s the first thing one does and puts down the first brick of a wall of emotions. Because to be in a relationship is to care, and love, and show affection, like solving a puzzle of feelings. You find out the best place, analyze it and wait for the right moment to decide what to do, and give yourself a chance to have that small piece building your emotional character.

Trust is a daily action, even though it’s a noun.

However, walking right next to this action is intimate. The dictionary definition of trust states that it is: a feeling of mutual security; intimacy. You can’t keep those two apart when they complete each other. Looking even deeper, you may look at the definition of intimacy and it says it is ‘actions, feelings or thoughts that are personal to someone’ fitting this scenario perfectly. Kara and Lena were allowing their deepest desires to be seen, no masks, no second or third thoughts, no fear of judgment. They weren’t just getting rid of their clothes, they were getting rid of the barriers that were keeping them from taking that next step.

Intimacy: close familiarity or friendship; closeness. Trust: firm belief in the reliability, truth, of someone.

The room was still dark and the rain was still falling and they looked at each other with hunger, the heavy breathing filling up the barely existent space between their bodies. Trust was there, standing strong, while intimacy was slowly getting up, hesitant but always present. Kara kept her hands on her breasts, she couldn’t and didn’t want to let you. The waterfall of hair fell on Lena’s shoulders, covering not enough of her naked given body.

The tension in the air was more than palpable. Kara wasn’t expecting that level of honesty from her friend, no matter how much she wanted to listen to her moan and lose composure.

It felt too surreal.

Their lips met with unknown fury after the long moment of silence and contemplation. Lena ravished on her tongue, sucking on it, making her despair for relief clear. So Kara’s body reacted, rising temperature and sending electric waves to her center. They kissed until they lacked air and so Kara felt cold fingertips on her sweater as if they were asking for the next step. Kara stepped away enough to look at the darkened eyes.

“May I?” Lena asked with difficulty and was answered with a positive nod.

Much to her surprise, Kara wasn’t wearing anything underneath it. Not a thing. She smirked and bit her lips, that was going to make things easier for her. Lena tried to hold her face but was stopped. Kara held her wrists and guided them to her naked chest, Lena moaned quietly and slowly caressed them in blissful torture, listening to Kara pant and hold back sounds.

In a wave of courage and hurry, Lena moved her hands down to the sweatpants and slid them down, making the way up again with her fingertips to her waist. Lena traced the athletic legs with attention, watching the hair get up with the touch and her mouth water as her eyes met the simple underwear. She worked her way up to find her face again, tracing her face with the shaking fingertips, going slowly through her nose and lips. So her lips were kissed with urgency, her breasts touching hers. The contact and warmth made Lena mad, feeling her wetness go down her tights. She needed her inside.

They walked until Lena felt the bed behind her legs and so the mattress. Kara was over her, never letting off her tongue. They both stopped to moan when their sexes rocked against one another. Kara left a trace of kisses from her lips to her chin, going down her neck and making sure to mark every piece of skin she could find. She was never a dominant person when it came to sex, especially because she only had had it with men and they didn't accept that kind of control. But it was different now, Lena was at her mercy, body and soul were given to her with pleasure.

And what a pleasure, Kara thought.

Lena bit her lips, afraid she might come with just the foreplay. She felt light sucking and biting on her neck, going down to her clave and then her breasts. She felt sanity leave her body when a warm tongue traced her nipple and sucked on it, making her scream. Kara bit and licked every part of it while squeezing the other boob with her hand. Still desperate, Lena held her legs up and hugged her waist looking for more contact, but all she found was soaked underwear.

“Take that off, Kara” Lena requested in a whisper.

Kara got up at an inhumane velocity and took off the only piece left. She climbed up again and her heart almost stopped. She was about to make love with her best friend, the person she loved and swore to protect. Not just that, Lena was her girlfriend, mother of her daughter, and the most beautiful woman in the world. And she wasn’t hiding any identity now, not wearing any glasses or reporter clothes. That realization made her smile and so she laid down over her, kissing her softly until she felt cold hands on her ass, pulling her close. The hot wet sex was brushing on her abdomen, she was working whatever contact she could find, making Kara realize she had to hurry up.

“What do you need, Lena" she asked with a husky voice “I… I never…”

“It’s okay” she whispered back “my back hurts like this” the belly’s weight was making it uncomfortable.

“Right.”

Kara got up and sat on the bed, lying against the headboard. Lena understood the movement and walked on fours to the lap, sitting on her tights, legs open. They kissed again, tongues mixing tastes and hands tightening around their bodies. She began to move her hips over hers, moaning quietly and mentally asking for more contact.

Noticing it, Kara moved her hand down to the Luthor’s center, spreading the lips and pressing on the clit. Circling it and letting the liquid wet her hand.

“Kar-Kara…” she threw her head back, exposing her neck and grabbing on her hair firmly.

“Is that good?”

“Y-yeah… faster, please faster” she begged.

Obeying the request, she held her waist tighter and moved the finger with more precision, watching her girlfriend move her hips in rhythm, nails digging on her back. It wasn’t going to leave marks, it was impossible and for a brief moment, she was upset. Kara wanted those marks she wanted every memory she could get of that moment. Her own body was trembling and she thought she could come from just watching. She searched for Lena’s lips and suffocated her moans in a sloppy, thirsty kiss.

She had to focus not to exceed her strength.

“Inside, Kara” she murmured in her mouth “I ne-need you inside…”

She nodded and with extreme ease, two fingers slid into her, walls tightening around them and Lena stopped holding back, screaming of pleasure. She moved slowly until she found a good rhythm and they kissed again, Kara masturbating her firmly, fingers moving in and out, one time, two, three times until Lena was riding her hand. The room became unbearably hot, the smell of sex clued to the walls and sweat sticking on the mattress.

Lena closed her eyes and held on her shoulders tight, moving her hips fast and moaning as loud as she could.

“Kara, yes, yes yes,” her head flew back, her sight failed and her legs ached with exercise “I’m going to… Kara!”

Taking advantage of the position, Kara went back to sucking her breasts, alternating between the nipples. And that pushed her over the edge.

Her body tense and her legs good, she choked on the insisting moan on her throat. The spasms took her balance away and the hand inside her held her in place. Screaming for the last time, she let the orgasm take over her body, and then she was able to breathe again. Kara took her fingers out and hugged her waist, letting Lena lay on her shoulder and recover from the climax. She felt their bodies sticky with sweat and listened to Kara’s heart pound fast.

“Are you okay?” Kara moved the wet hair from her face and kissed her forehead. her super hearing got every heartbeat, Lena’s and her daughter’s. However, moments ago all she heard was moaning.

“Uhum” she nodded, sighed, and kissed her lips softly.

“Do you need anything else?” her cheeks reddened as she realized the malicious tone behind the question.

“I need more, Kara.”

Lena knew her hormones were out of control and leading to a no return path, but what could she do with so much desire accumulated from the past five months? Still high from the last orgasm, she kissed her lips slowly, sucking off her tongue and gently biting her lips. It didn’t take long for her to feel it again, the need, the wetness. With Lena still sitting on her lap, Kara kissed down her neck, hands going over her breasts and down her stomach, where she stopped, because her daughter was there and she could feel the love emanating.

“Don’t you dare talk to her now” Lena grumbled and panted, limbs trembling.

Kara giggled and continued to go down, sliding her body down until she was literally under her girlfriend, head between her thighs.

“Hold on to the headboard” she commanded

Kara gripped behind her hips and kissed the inside on the tights, going up to her sex and licking the remaining of the last orgasm.

“Open more, baby” Lena obeyed and positioned her knees on the pillow, now completely open and exposed for her.

Taking her time, she explored the sex with her tongue slowly, sucking off the stimulated nerve.

“Fuck…” her hands were white from gripping the headboard.

Kara smiled and repeated the action, ravishing on that taste, sure it was the best she ever had. Her tongue went up and down, almost going inside and then going back again. The Luthor gripped her hair with one hand and started to move on her mouth. She held her thighs harder, going in and out and listening to the sounds of pleasure, she let herself be taken away. She never had given so much pleasure to someone, and never got so close to coming by only watching

She could feel her own sex beg for touch, while the liquid went down her legs to the bed. She was desperate.

She closed her legs, trying to get whatever friction she could while tasting every part of her girlfriend. Who kept riding until she was on the verge of screaming and almost breaking the headboard.

“Kara, Kara!” her vision went dark as she called the name.

Her hair fell on her face and her breathing was hitched, she couldn’t feel her body.

Kara slid out again, coming out from her legs and holding her from behind, feeling the weight of the body fall on her arms.

“It’s okay, I got you” Kara whispered in her ear, her heart was drowning in care and gentleness.

Lena rarely got herself involved with the people she slept with. It was just pleasure, pure explicit pleasure. To fall in love or create affection was too complicated and took too much time, something she did not have. However, Kara was just any person. any affair she found in a bar. Kara was her girlfriend, the woman who treated her with so much devotion it caused heartache. She had never been held or treated like that during sex.

Everything was new and terribly exciting.

Both sat down on their legs, still keeping physical touch, feeling their sweat mix. Kissed her cheek and let her head lean on her shoulder. Lena smiled tiredly, but she knew she couldn’t abandon her girlfriend like that. A hand went up to her face and turned it to hers, the blue eyes and darkened pupils staring at her, the first time she saw her without glasses, breathing heavily. Her body was aching because of the exercise but she wanted to make her feel the same she felt. Lena kissed her passionately and one hand went straight to her inner thigh. Going up and sliding through her sex, Kara interrupted the kiss to moan slowly.

“Lena…”

“I know darling, just relax okay?” she nodded.

Without moving or changing positions, Lena began to massage her clit, the liquid running through her hand and the hips moving carefully. As her hands worked, Kara rubbed her nipple on her exposed back, just like her hands were also in her center. Without warning, Lena slid a finger in, getting a loud moan in return and a bite on her shoulder. She began pounding on her, firm and fast, letting her lean on her back.

She could feel the walls tightening around her fingers, showing she was on the cliff’s edge. Without stopping, Lena turned around and silenced her moans with her lips, feeling the vibrations on her tongue. Her own body was hot again, begging for more again. That’s when she felt her girlfriend’s warm hand move on her center, rubbing her clit fast.

“Come with me, Lena” she whispered hoarsely, Lena whimpered with the request pushing her to the edge.

They moved together, Kara invading her again and losing whatever was left of her sanity.

“Lena…Lena, yes!” she rode her hand, still moving her hand on her.

It didn’t take long for Kara to stop, trembling and screaming her name. Lena came at the sight. She felt the head leaning on her shoulder again, both with closed eyes, breathing heavily. Silence took over them, being the third wheel to the intense scenario. The sheets were a mess, one pillow was behind Lena and the other was god knows where. The iron headboard still showed handmarks and Lena’s skin showed bite marks all over it.

“Do you need some time?” Lena asked smiling, keeping the tender quiet tone.

“Hm...” Kara answered, cheeks red from the effort.

“C’mon, lay down with me” they moved apart and took the sheet off, laying on the bare mattress “I really need more sleep after… this.”

Still unable to answer, Kara lied down and her girlfriend pulled her closer, feeling her body slowly relax and her heartbeat goes back to normal.

“Feel this” Lena took her hand and put it on her stomach, where someone was kicking a lot “someone is very agitated too.”

“Uh, can we not talk about it” Kara was more than embarrassed “she might hear…”

“She heard you moan” Lena provoked, laughing as Kara hid her face on her neck “Lizzie is going to have to get used to that for now.”

“Lena…” she sighed, changing positions, now hugging Lena from behind “please…” she held her tight.

“Rest, dear” Lena murmured, tracing imaginary circles on her stomach “you two” she felt her kissed her head 

“You too.”


***

 

“You’re smiling too much today, Lutessa” Alex teased as they walked through the grocery store

“Not even you are going to ruin my mood today, let it be clear” she retorted.

The morning after sex was calm. Kara and Lena showered together and promptly tidied up the room before the other two Danver’s returned. Fearing Alex’s perfect timing for inconvenience and her bad luck to walk into embarrassing situations. But maybe her perception wasn’t as good as she thought. By the time mother and daughter came back, Kara and Lena were spread on the sofa under a heavy blanket watching a random movie on tv. Eliza said hello to them and went to the kitchen, lunch was going to be later than usual.

After a casual conversation, the three of them were sent to the grocery store because Thanksgiving dinner was tonight and they were all leaving tomorrow. J’onn called Alex in desperation, saying she needed Supergirl back and James kept messaging Kara, saying Snapper might murder someone if she didn’t come back soon. Sam was also in need of the CEO to sign important papers and participate in the endless meetings.

That dream was about to end and neither three were ready for it.

“What else do we need?” Kara asked as she returned to them “I got the spices, the pasta, table cream, yogurt…”

“Eliza didn’t ask for yogurt,” Alex said, watching her sister blush “why am I not surprised?”

“Darling, why don’t you go back and get us other flavors? How many you like” Lena said smiling and Kara went from frowning to smiling again “we’ll meet you there."

“Right!” she said, almost running back to where she was.

“You’re creating a monster, you know that right?” Alex went back to pushing the shopping cart, laughing to herself about how stupid they were “good luck controlling your girlfriend.”

“I have enough money for that” Lena joked “but I needed an excuse for her to leave,” she said, surprising Alex “I know about the bottles in your purse, I can hear them tingling and your breath is only getting stronger, even with you trying to hide it with mints and mouthwash” Alex kept walking, unsure of how to escape that conversation.

Truth was, she knew very well about her mental state, the way she was doing everything wrong, and didn’t have the guts to ask for help. It was like she knew she had to scream for help but didn’t have the voice to do so. Lena looked as=t her with so much patience and affection that her heart sank down, all she saw in those green eyes was understanding. Alex was never one for venting, of being vulnerable and showing weakness, but she was exhausted and just needed a hug.

“I’m sorry…” Alex murmured, tears running down her cheeks “I just… I’m sorry…”

Lena pulled her close, feeling Alex’s body for the first time and holding her tight. The height difference was the same as when she held Kara, but Alex was different. Her body was as warm and didn’t make her shiver when they met, in fact, Lena could hear her own heartbeat going still while the other’s was running out of time. She let Alex lean on her and waited for her to calm down, she needed her friend to be honest and actually ask for help. She wasn’t there to judge her, she never would, Lena just wanted to show her she was by her side when she needed it.

“You know you don’t have to apologize to me, right?” she nodded “You need to apologize and forgive yourself, you to let this anger, this hurt, and grudges out of the boxes you kept them.”

“Boxes?” Alex asked, Lena, giggled at herself.

“Yes, it’s how I usually deal with my feelings” she explained and they began walking again “I put them in little boxes and bury them deep, so I can forget I even felt that or can avoid dealing with them.”

“I think I do the same, I just… didn’t think of the metaphor” Alex tried a smile.

“It’s the same about the glass dome you talked about, we know very well how to hide, pretend and simply forget” Lena turned to her “but the more we keep things, the more it feeds off of our soul. It’s not worth it to suffocate on unsaid words, Alex.”

“No, you’re right” she sighed “but what am I supposed to do? I’m going to AA meetings or therapy, that’s off the table. I’m not going to worry my mother about this stupid thing.”

“First of all, it’s not stupid, and second, let me help you” Lena put a hand on her shoulder “I know we only address each other with sarcasm and irony and, trust me, I like that. But you’re my friend, Alex and I’m not saying that because I’m dating your sister. I care about you, just like Lizzie will once she grows up.

“Lizzie?” Lena nodded and guided her hands to her belly, Alex touching it over the shirt “it’s so warm…”

“Yes, there are some things that make this area get warmer” Alex smirked at Lena’s innocence “I’m not talking about that!”

“But that’s a reason too” Alex teased.

“It’s the reason it’s warmer today” Lena shot right back and Alex stepped away, menacing.

“Lena! Ugh!” she complained “I didn’t need to know that.”

“You were the one who brought it up, don’t blame me” she shrugged and they laughed “Lizzie is a sensitive kid, don’t ask me how I know that I just do” Alex nodded “I can sense it if she doesn’t like someone, even if they aren’t near me, I feel this discomfort, this weird nausea like I’m still on the first trimester.” she explained “but, when Lizzie likes someone, when they touch my stomach, the skin gets warmer and she sometimes kicks” she lowered the hand, and guided Alex until she felt a small elevation on the skin.

“This girl is going to be difficult, Lena” Alex joked, feeling her eyes watery.

“I’d rather not think about it” she laughed “she cares about you so don’t let her down. Fight for you, for your well-being because there’s a girl that is dying to know you in four months.”

They hugged again but were interrupted by a blonde carrying more yogurt than her arms could handle. Alex rolled her eyes and Lena laughed, hearing her stomach roar. Kara and Lizzie were two starving children in that store.


***


The cold windy night took over Midvale, but at least the rain decided to stop. Eliza had help from her daughter-in-law, now that she heard the news that Lena and Kara were officially dating, they cooked together, preparing everything for dinner. Alex was responsible for setting the table while Kara cleaned up the place since the three of them spent the most time there. Agnes was laying down but restless, changing positions and trying to find a more comfortable place. She was constantly surrounding Lena's legs, crying for attention but Lena would just give her some food and go on to ignore her. No one paid any attention until she disappeared

While the meat was on the stew, Eliza made them go up for a shower. However, Lena had forgotten her phone in the kitchen and went back. What caught her attention was Agnes’s pot was filled with food from lunch, even the snacks were still there. Lena frowned and began searching for the dog, on her bed, on the living room, or the back porch where Eliza had put a thin blanket for her to spend the morning. Agnes wasn’t anywhere until Lena came to find her in the laundry room, hidden behind the washing machine.

Her heart sank as she heard a low yelp, almost painful, she turned on the lights and the first thing she noticed was the liquid running free from Agnes’s genitals. The puppies, she realized and screamed for Kara. The blonde ran downstairs, tripping on her own feet and Alex followed her right away, worried about what might have been happening. All three Danvers arrived at the same time to find a kneeling CEO, petting the dog, face covered in tears.

“What do I do?” Lena asked fast, panicking “she’s in pain…”

“She can do it by herself, but she needs you here” Eliza explained “Alex, get some clothes and I’m going to call the vet to see if we need any medicine if it comes to it. Lena, you stay and Kara you keep them both calm” Kara nodded in her superhero pose, trying to show she wasn’t going to freak out.

“Hey baby, it's going to be okay” Lena kissed her cold nose, still listening to the low whimpers, and sighed “I’m here and you can do it, just a little more.”

“Come here” Kara pulled her close and they stayed on the floor, attentive to the dog’s labor.

Agnes kept licking her privates and sighing, growing more and more restless. The movements inside became visible and a yellow liquid came out of here, indicating the first one was about to be born. And it arrived in almost eight minutes sharp, small, fragile, surrounded by a transparent bubble. The new mommy pulled it with her mouth and licked it until the umbilical cord ruptured. It was male.

“It’s two,” Kara said, worried, she knew nothing about animals and their pregnancies

“Let’s wait for it” Lena kissed her hair.

Not much time later, the other baby came out, already out of the disgusting bubble. Agnes repeated the procedure while the other baby was already feeding off of her. She licked it clean and guided it to one of her breasts. The small closed eyes and wet skin made them look even more delicate and Lena cried with relief. The youngest twin was a female and she sucked the milk with hunger. 

Lena was so proud of Agnes her chest hurt.

She relaxed her body and leaned on Kara, who was still holding her waist, and touched her stomach. She wondered about the close future when she would give birth to a girl with unconditional love, that would make her wear her heart on a sleeve. Because that’s what it meant to be a mother, to have your heart living and growing next to you, teaching you how to be a better person, to understand the world with other colors and lights. Maybe the walls in her apartment wouldn’t be clean all the time. Maybe she would have to get used to Lizzie going to her bed in the middle of the night because there’s a monster living in her closet. What would it feel like to see her daughter’s face for the first time? To hold her in her arms? How would I feel to breastfeed her, build that connection, and make sure she was okay?

Lena couldn’t put what she was feeling into words, the emotional rollercoaster in her head made her confused. But a good type of confusion. On that Thanksgiving night, Lena Luthor finally understood that holiday’s meeting. She was grateful to have moved from Metropolis to National City. She was grateful to have met Kara Danvers, the reporter but not a reporter, the woman who believed in her potential and character and was thankful she still believed, changing as she needed to and strengthening what was already there. Moreover, she was grateful for Lizzie. The pregnancy certainly was unexpected, bringing her to a scary place and showing the world could be very cruel sometimes. Aliens aren’t much different from humans, they just act for more complex, archaic reasons.

Lena was conscious of the pain she went through, of how much it hurt to have her body violated and taken from her, but now she understood that some bad things come for the better and changes are necessary. In those five months, a lot was different, like she went through an emotional and mental clean-up. She learned how to accept her new safe, how to see herself as a strong woman even though she felt broken inside, and learned to forgive. There was nothing wrong with being broken. And so, she was grateful. Grateful that her daughter was there with her, growing and being loved by so many people. She was grateful that both Kara and Supergirl were in her life, she was grateful to have Alex Danvers as a friend.

Looking over to Agnes again and seeing Eliza by the door, watching the new mother rest while her babies were fed, the CEO sighed. She never thought she would be loved like that, she never thought she would have a real family. Leaving the laundry room, Alex cleaned the dirty clothes and they left the dog alone with her puppies, going up to shower. Dinner went well, as always and each person spoke about what they were grateful for that year. Eliza was grateful that her daughters were happy and always fighting to do the right thing. Alex said she was grateful to have met and made an unexpected friendship - of course without quoting names, she wouldn’t give the Luthor that taste. Kara barely knew what to say because she could go on for hours about it.

“I’m grateful for having you all with me” Kara smiled “for having an amazing mom, a badass sister, and a friend who taught me who to be strong. And I’m also grateful for Seedy, now I won’t be the only one hungry all the time” they laughed “And I want to thank you, Lena, for letting me participate and trust me even though I’m not the best at it. I hope we’ll spend so many more holidays together and that, although we're dating, you won’t ever stop being my best friend.”

“Never, Kara” Lena squeezed her hand under the table “I’d never let someone else take that title.”

Between laughs and thanks, the small family finished dinner and prepared themselves for the goodbye the next morning, knowing the calmness was about to end.


***


Snow fell on National City that December. Everyone wore a jacket over a jacket, looking for a place to hide from the bad weather, and children built snowmen on the park. Their winter break had just begun. The preparations for the month started big, the big Christmas tree selling like water in a desert, same with Christmas lights, dancing Santas, and collections of green red, and gold objects. The news only showed the growth of the economy at that time of the year. But no matter how lovely that season looked, Lena Luthor had to work.

L-Corp was running at full speed and this time the CEO decided to do right by Christmas. She allowed each section to be responsible for their decorations and bought small Christmas trees, put on almost every room. If they didn’t know better, people would never say that the company was run by a Luthor. The employees began to compliment their boss’ look frequently, saying how pretty she was with the belly and that maternity suited her well. Lena smiled politely at them, thanking the compliments and wishing them happy holidays to those still working that month. Many left on vacation to go be with their families and Lena couldn’t be more envious.

Sure, she loved her job and wouldn’t change it for anything, but she missed waking up late, getting breakfast in bed, watching the ocean on lazy afternoons, and her mother-in-law’s food. Every time she used that term, butterflies flew in her stomach. Both Lena and Kara were drowning in work. Kara had to cover every article possible to get in Snapper’s good grace again and the crime rating grew, making Supergirl double night patrols. Their days went from seeing each other every minute to casually meeting at lunch and trying to encounter Saturdays off.

Which also didn’t happen.

In midst of piles of documents and exaggeratedly long meetings, Samantha found some time for them to discuss the company's annual Christmas ball. That happened a week before the 25th. Lena never really got involved with the party’s organization because, well, she really didn’t care about being surrounded by arrogant rich people for a whole evening. But now she was curious to see how it went and was excited even, to bring her girlfriend as her escort. Lilian was the one who was usually responsible for the event and making sure everything went according to plan.

What hurt her the most was leaving Agnes and the puppies alone - neither of them had names yet. The first thing that invaded her heart as Lena got into the cold apartment was an empty feeling. There wasn’t life in there, or something that showed her presence because she wasn’t one to leave traces. It was what bothered her deeply and what made her worried for when Lizzie came into the world. Lena wanted to show the world that she was there, that her daughter was growing in that place and that her life was monochromatic anymore, but filled with colors. Her heart always skipped a beat when she daydreamed about a little girl dressed in red, painting something distractedly in her room and murmuring things to herself.

“We have to decide the menu and the playlist” Sam pulled her back to reality “I think it’s cool if you gave the party your touch, don’t you think?”

“I honestly don’t believe anyone is going to appreciate my music taste” Lena rolled her eyes “as much as I have gotten over my teenage punk phase.”

“I don’t know, I think we can fit a piercing in this tongue full of sarcasm and irony” Sam joked.

“Where is Ruby?” Lena changed the subject, curious since the girl was on vacation.

“At home, I hate leaving her alone” she sighed “but what can I do?”

“Are all Mondays like this?” she asked and Sam nodded while taking notes on a piece of paper.

“Ruby usually stays with my neighbor, who is a very nice old lady, but she was a thing with her family on Mondays and I can’t leave my daughter with some stranger,” she explained, making the Luthor wonder.

Would she ever have the courage to leave Lizzie alone with a stranger?

No, she answered herself, she would never have those guts.

“What if I find you, someone, to take care of her?”

“It’d be heaven on earth” Sam laughed “I really don’t like leaving her alone, I’m scared something will happen. Ruby might be thirteen but she’s only a child.

“I think Lizzie can be twenty and I’ll still see her as a baby” Lena commented, her tone going unnoticed. Sam knew about her choice and thoughts about the adoption.

“Given what you’re like, this girl will be the personification of stubbornness” she provoked “don’t worry about me, I’ll figure it out.”

“Of course I worry about you, I’m your friend” Lena smiled “now back to the ball.”

They shared and discussed notes until the end of the day and Lena ended up saying yes to a dinner invitation at her house, a way to spend more time with her and Ruby.


***


“What are you doing?” Kara tried to read her sister’s phone but was blocked.

That evening, they both took the night off to binge movies, since the holiday rest had ended abruptly. The first week went by in a flash, they didn’t even have time to talk, and so, even though it was Monday, they decided to lay down and relax. Alex bought enough snacks for her alien sister - which came down to pizza, potstickers, and ice cream - and soda since she decided to cut off the beer, at least for a while until she got a hold of her situation.

“None of your business” Alex answered, finishing typing “have you chosen the movie yet?”

“Uhum” Kara nodded, mouthful “why didn’t you get beer?”

“I’m… breaking some habits'' she said ominously and Kara shot her a confused look. Alex sighed and rolled her eyes “I don’t know if I want to talk about it, Kara.”

“Okay, let’s do this” Kara moved, placing herself in front of her “I’ll tell you something that you want to know and you’ll tell me something that I want to know or understand” Alex snorted, knowing her sister was too innocent and trustful.

“Deal” Alex reached for a pizza “I’ll start.”

“Okay.”

“Did you have sex with Lena?” Kara choked on her soda, coughing “and she didn’t say anything? Did have sex with glasses? You’re lucky Eliza wasn’t home.”

“Rao, Alex!” she scoffed “did you have to ask that?” Alex nodded smiling “Uh…I-we... yeah, it happened.”

“I know that it happened, it's basically written on your face” she laughed “what I want to know is why the Luthor didn’t say anything about it. Was it dark?”

“Rao…” Kara felt her face burning “I...don’t know, I just...got carried away at the moment, I didn’t have my glasses, she saw me the whole time, especially when she sat on my lap and began moa…”

“Kara!” Alex screamed, disgusted.

“That’s what she said” she continued, Alex pretended to vomit “you were the one who asked it.”

“Ugh, you’re paying for my therapy” she sighed “okay if she didn't say anything, does that mean you’re going to tell her the truth?”

“I’m considering it,” Kara said bravely, though she knew she would chicken out “I think…”

“Think?” Alex frowned.

“I… I’m still scared, but I’m considering the situation and I don’t… don’t want to keep hiding” Kara menaced “but I… I think she’s going to push me away and then I won’t be able to see Seedy anymore, to go to the classes and all. It’s going to be over before it even begins…”

“Don’t think like that, Kara” Alex patted her knee “Lena would never push you away like that. Sure, she’ll probably ask for a break from the dating thing but I don’t think she would keep you from seeing your daughter.”

“I don’t want to think about that now, I’m still creating the courage to do say the truth and lose it all again…” Kara exhaled and cleaned her face, smiling weakly, it was a risk she had to take, know that her friend wouldn’t forgive her and that her newborn relationship would be over as soon as it was out, but Kara owed it to her “now it’s my turn.”

“Right” Alex let her sister change the subject, dreading the next conversation “ask away.”

“Why have you been avoiding the bar and only buying soda? And who were you texting” she smiled, knowing her sister was very curious.

“Do you remember when I told you I wasn’t dealing well with my break up? Well, that ‘not dealing well’ became that vice… you know which know” Kara knew what she was talking about “yeah… and it kind got out of hand again and I was lost and hurt in the process."

“Oh, Alex” Kara pulled her in for a hug “why didn't you tell me? Why didn’t you ask for help?”

“I thought I could do it alone” she was honest. Kara knew how stubborn she was “but Lena has been talking to me and I must say she can be very persuasive, I don’t know how you get her to change her mind” Alex laughed “or do I?”

“Don’t change the subject” Kara stopped her “you two are the strangest, most stubborn people I have ever met but I’m glad you’re friends like that. Lena is very protective, she had that instinct ever since I met her, she fights for people she cares about.

“You’re so in love” Alex teased “but yeah, Lena is all that. And as for your other question, I was texting a new friend.”

“What friend? I want a name, surname, details, and music taste” Alex snorted and pushed her away “what? I’m just protecting you  from the world!”

“I don’t need you to protect me, I need you to pay for my therapy after putting certain images in my head” Kara laughed out loud.

“The fault is entirely yours” she shrugged “but what’s her name? Is that Sam person?”

“Yes, she needs someone to take care of Ruby on Mondays and since Mondays are my day off, I took the babysitter part. We’re having breakfast at Noonan’s” she explained “Lena was the one who called me for help and I think it will be fun.

“Yeah!” Kara got excited “I don’t know her yet, but she’s probably a great person. It’s going to be okay, Alex, you’ll see.”

“I hope so” she smiled “the same goes for you, Kara”

“I love you so much, you know that, right?” Kara kissed her cheek.

“I love you too, now put on the movie.”


***


That Wednesday morning, Lena woke up more tired than ever, her breasts ached and her shirt was still with a white liquid, what became usual in the sixth month. She had an ultrasound scheduled for Friday because it was the only day that Kara was free and they still didn't know if they would make it to the class. It would be the last one before New Year’s Eve. Lena got up lazily and looked into the mirror. Her belly appeared shily under her shirt, she would have to go shopping if she wanted to arrive at the ninth month dressed.

“Good morning, baby girl” Lena murmured sleepy, heading to the kitchen. Her stomach roared and she laughed “we’re going to eat soon, be patient.”

She made her way to the laundry room to find Agnes and her puppies on the new bed Lena bought them, with a new blanket and toys. She petted the dog, watching her shake her tail, still lied down, while the babies drank off of her nonstop. Lena filled her pot with dog food, changed the water, and went back to the kitchen, filling a cup with strawberry yogurt, which became a need during those months. While she was reading the news, and waiting for Sam to text her, her phone rang, showing the familiar name on the screen.

“Julie?”

“Lena, so you’re back in town, hm?” she commented, agitated.

“Yeah, and working like a dog,” Lena said, “did anything happen?”

“Nothing serious, I just called to let you know that the twins were born this early morning!” Lena’s mouth fell open and she left her food aside “Ramona had to go with the premature birth, but they’re all fine. She said we can visit her today, do you want to go together?”

“God! Of course!” Lena would never say no to that “at what time are you going? I didn’t even buy her something…”

“It’s okay, mama Luthor” she laughed “we can go somewhere before you get her something, I thought before lunchtime would be better, does that work for you?

“Yeah, I’ll call my CFO and cancel my meetings.”

“Wow, a businesswoman, so sexy” she joked “take your amazing wife too, also there’s a little boy who will be very happy to see you.”

“And I will love to see him,” Lena smiled. Ezra was probably the best man she ever met “call me later and I’ll pick you up.”

“Okay, see you later.”

Quickly, Lena swallowed her breakfast and ran to her room, taking a hot shower and wondering about what she would get the babies and Ramona. Still wearing a towel and a robe, Lena lied down and began scrolling for tips on what to gift recent mothers. Agnes had been so much easier, Lena thought to herself. There were so many options and cute things she couldn’t choose, deciding to pick it with Julie, who knew better than her when it came to this. Then she remembered to let her girlfriend know.

“Hey, good morning,” Lena said softly when Kara picked up the phone with a groan “sorry to wake you…”

“You…” she yawned “didn’t…” Lena laughed.

“Sure I didn’t, love” she smiled “do you think you can be free before lunch? We have an… emergency” Kara almost jumped out of the bed, fully awake and attentive.

“What happened? are you okay? Is it Seedy? Are you in pain?” Kara asked mercilessly “I’m coming over.”

“No! Kara” she stopped “calm down, I’m okay and so is Seedy” Lena laughed “breathe, dear.”

“Oh, okay” she sighed, feeling her heart calm down “okay, so what is then, baby?”

“Ramona gave birth to the twins this dawn and Julie invited me to see them, but I wanted you to come with me,” she said, “but I’ll understand if you can’t, I don’t want to get your way and we can schedule some other day.”

“I’ll go” Kara answered “Lena, you’re my priority, plus I’d love to see you before Friday. I miss you…”

“I miss you too, so much,” she confessed. The calls and texting and fast lunches weren’t enough. They both knew that.

“Can I sleep at yours weekend?” Kara asked, trying not to sound like a pervert “I just… wanted to be… close to you.”

“Of course you can, I’ll call you when it’s time to go.” Kara agreed.

“Lena” she called before hanging up. They stayed silent, surrounded by words unsaid. Kara wanted to say I love you, wanted to put the whole truth out, but she couldn’t “I miss you.”

“Me too…”

Still thinking Kara was going to say something, Lena waited, but nothing came. So they hung up, knowing they would meet later and Lena went back to getting ready. Some thoughts were making her anxious and two in specific dried her mouth. First: she was going to a maternity hospital for the first time in her life.

Second: she only had one more month before talking to her lawyer about the adoption. And though it was clear Lena had a complex emotional involvement with the pregnancy, she still had to make a choice and go for the rational decision.

Chapter Text

As soon as Kara opened the car’s door, cold wind blew on them, making their bodies shiver with the temperature drop. It was practically lunchtime and soon visitation hours would be over, so they were in a hurry. Lena picked her friend up first, enjoying the opportunity to carry Ezra and fill him with kisses, making him laugh. He was going to be with his dad since only children older than twelve were allowed in the maternity ward - to be honest, Lena had no idea about that rule, she had never been in such a place.

“Julie!” Kara smiled to see the woman “How are you? How 's the baby? Where 's Ezra?” and put a hand on her mouth to stop her own rambling.

“Grace is fine, we’re good” she smiled “Ezra is with his dad and loved seeing his favorite auntie” Julie blinked an eye to the CEO “someone has to tell him to focus on the daughter, not the mother.”

“I missed you” Lena whispered to Kara, seeing the almost childish way she leaned on her shoulder and gripped her arm.

“I missed you more” Kara smiled, giving her a quick peck on the lips. Julie observed the scene with a smile, it was so hard to find loving couples like them these days. Like they had found true love with each other “and how is Seedy?” Kara caressed her daughter’s home, looking down.

“She is… here” Lena frowned, putting one hand next to Kara’s.

“Oops, she kicked” Kara laughed “I missed you too, baby” she whispered.

“Babies recognize their parents,” Julie commented, “especially their voices. It’s almost instantaneous, it happens a lot to my husband and even my mother sometimes. But always to him.”

Kara felt her face burn and didn’t give the courage to look at her girlfriend, thinking it was known she was going to figure it out. Lizzie was her daughter, blood of her blood, but Lena didn’t know that yet. Deep inside her, Kara wanted to tell her the truth, to be honest, and risk whatever she had to risk. Sure, she knew her friend, she knew how much she hated lies and secrets, after all her life was full of them. Some were fatal. But Kara was scared. What if she pushed her away forever? What if she couldn’t participate in the last months of pregnancy? Or worse.

What if, because of that, Lena decided to give Lizzie up? They hadn’t talked about it in the last days or weeks. Lena confessed to her that her mind was changing and she was getting used to the idea of motherhood. But what if with the truth, she decided to take it back? How could Kara live with the blame of losing her daughter? She would never forgive herself, would never be able to sleep again. She would lose her daughter and her best friend, it was basically her family. She wasn’t ready for it and didn’t want to be. That was a reality Kara wouldn’t survive, she couldn’t.

It would be worse, a hundred times worse, than the destruction of Krypton.

The maternity ward walls were, mostly, painted in white and light blue, except that part, with yellow pink, and green pastel tones. There were medical whiteboards on the hallways, many nurses and workers walking around fast. The smell of pure alcohol and soap impregnated the atmosphere, making it cozier and look like a maternity place. They went up the elevator carrying two gift bags and walked through the room floor. A lot of crying was heard, some doors were open and it was possible to see the new family members, crying or laughing, meeting their parents for the first time.

Lena observed each scene with curiosity, knowing she knew nothing about that reality that felt like an illusion only months ago. She never met a newborn, she didn’t know how they were or how to deal with them. Lena’s breathing got heavier, showing the anxiousness she was trying to hide, three months from now, she was the one going to be in those beds, Kara, noticing the heartbeat change, held her hands tight and smiled. It wasn’t like Kara was doing so much better than her girlfriend, after all, she had never seen babies so small beside her cousin Clark. And that was many many years ago. She was just as anxious as Lena. In no time, she would see her daughter’s face for the first time.

“You go in first,” Julie said low “to avoid a crowded room.”

“Are you sure?” Lena asked, but her friend insisted.

They knocked lightly on the door, hearing Ramona’s permissions to get in, and so they did, catching a sweet scent of chamomile.

The room wasn’t luxurious or big, it was actually quite simple. There was a bed in its center with two cradles, one on each side, a small table, chairs, and a bookshelf. All well decorated with the oceans of flowers sent by the relatives. Ramona was delighted to see them and moved on the bed to say hello. One baby was breastfeeding restlessly while the other squirmed on the blanket. Two boys, Kara noticed, so tiny. Their newborn wrinkles were noticeable, not yet looking like their father or mother, wearing similar clothes but in different colors. Both had brown hair and reddened skin.

“Look who’s here, son” Ramona took him out of her breast, covering it with the shirt, and turned him around “the richest aunt you’ll ever have” she joked, making them both laugh “this is the time to charm her and ask for gifts.”

“How are you?” The CEO kept the lower tone “are you feeling better?”

“Tired, but fine” she affirmed.

“He is so tiny,” Kara said while staring at the baby in the cradle “look, Lena” she pointed excitedly to her finger, held by a little possessive hand “he held my finger!”

“Theo had this habit, for what I noticed” she commented “he did the same to Thomas inside this belly.”

“And everything went fine?” Ramona nodded “we brought you something, actually we didn’t have a lot of time to choose it. I hope you like it” Lena put the bag on the table.”

“You shouldn’t have” she smiled, noticing the Luthor’s uncomfortable look, of someone that doesn’t know what to do or talk. She was out of her comfort zone and that bothered her, no matter how much she tried to hide it “do you want to hold him?” Kara turned to Lena, fearing her reaction. That might be too much for her.

“I don’t… I don’t even know how…” Lena sighed, feeling her hands in a cold sweat “it’s better not to…”

“C’mon, give it a try” Ramone positions the baby in her arms and asked Lena to lean down a little “You hold him on the bum with one hand and the other goes on the neck, holding the head like this” the CEO pretended to understand and received the baby in her arms, feeling the floppy and warm body touch her chest and cheeks lean on her holder “Thomas just ate so just don’t shake him too much.”

God, that was a lot of information.

With time, Lena took a deep breath and tried to calm down, concealing the anxiety from her face. Kara came near her, touching her arm and guaranteeing her safety. Lena could never describe what she was feeling at that moment. It went from fright to inebriating love. It was like holding the world in your hands, to look at your arms and know that the little human was yours and depended on you for their life. She closed her arms for a few seconds, letting herself be carried by the confusing strong emotions that hit her. Her mind wandered to a fragile little girl, with blonde hair and shiny eyes, maybe green.

She could feel her in her soul. Could feel that small body warming her and her little hand gripping her fingers. Three months from now, she thought, three from now I’ll have my own girl.

Thomas grumbled slowly, then burping and shrinking his legs. His clothes were large, making him look even smaller. Guided by instinct, not knowing why, Lena tapped him lightly on the back, kissing his head and gently rocking her body, never moving fast. Ramona observed her son with the woman and noticed how Kara never looked away from her wife - who was her girlfriend. As if she was hypnotized, smiling something that could make her face sore and her eyes shone with love. They were going to be the most loving mothers in the world.

“He likes you, Lena” Kara murmured, gently stroking his thin hair “oh… he’s falling asleep” she whispered.

“You think so?” Lena doubted, hands caressing the small back “this is the best feeling in the world…”

“Your time is coming soon” Ramona commented, taking Theo off the cradle to feed him to “you just got into the sixth month, right?”

“Yeah” Lena changed Thomas’s position and lied him on her arm, but the little one soon looked for her breast, brushing his nose on her dress “oh, no, no…” she smiled “this isn’t yours, it’s Lizzie’s.”

“C’mon, Lena, he’s hungry” Kara teased “Thomas is one of mine.”

“Lizzie and you are more than enough, dear” she retorted “the plot you two have against me will leave me bankrupt” Kara felt her face burn and Ramona snorted “and if she is like you then I don’t think she’ll be fond of sharing food.”

Yeah, Kara smiled to herself, she’s got a point.

“You can put him in the cradle if you want to” Lena sighed, almost begging for more time with him “or you can keep carrying him” she laughed “when it’s the next ultrasound?”

“Saturday morning” Kara answered, now Thomas was fully asleep, holding her finger “Sedy is now the size of a carrot.”

“You two are the cutest couple” Ramone smiled “Lizzie Luthor Danvers, that’s going to be the name, right? I think it’s beautiful.

“I… uh…” Kara almost choked on air and fixed the glasses on her face. Oh Rao, how were they answering that?

“It’s a wonderful name” Lena responded for her “though I wish it was just Danvers.”

Okay, that caught the Kryptonian by surprise. Was Lena serious or just pretending for the sake of the we-are-married-but-not-really lie?

Oh, Rao!

“No matter what your family had done, a name doesn’t define you” Ramona stood up for her friend “if it were like that, I wouldn’t have married my husband since his grandfather was convicted of murder.”

“I didn’t know that,” she murmured.

“That’s why I tell you, your daughter deserves to carry her mother’s name because you are her prime example, not your family” she explained, “her life, love, strength model will be entirely focused on you, so don’t let her think she doesn’t deserve to have the same as you have.”

“Thank you” Lena looked down at the baby, trying not to cry.

Her thoughts got lost again and she felt another wall inside her crumble. The baby’s breath warmed her chest, making her feel unusual tranquility. Lena didn't know where this was leading or how truthful she was going to be when the time came to sign the adoption papers. Right now, all her heart was asking for was some time and patience, nothing should be decided in a hurry, in the heat of the moment, everything was going to work out in time. Kara got closer, putting her chin on her shoulder and hugging her from behind, enjoying that moment of peace and love. Kara could clearly picture her daughter in her mother’s hand, smiling tenderly.

And at the moment, Kara decided that the three words, so intense and important should be said. The truth couldn’t wait.

 

***

 

Noona’s was a well-known coffee shop downtown, a quiet simple place to talk to friends or just have a nice cup of coffee. It never was crowded, but the smell of fresh bread and waffles in the morning caught the attention of many. The place was frequented by rich businessmen and families with small children and everyone in between, even old ladies that sat down to each just made sweets in the afternoon. And it was Kara’s favorite coffee shop. Lena was very aware of that and used to order take out every now and then

But Alex wasn’t a fan of there like her sister, preferring the bar where Maggie took her over a year ago. The memory of it ached in her chest, of something that was unresolved, a loose ending. Or maybe it was just in her head because detective Sawyer had definitely moved on, burying their memories deep inside, and moving on to a new chapter of her life. It hurt, Alex couldn’t deny it, and her instinct told her to run away, to avoid this meeting with Samantha and tell her she couldn’t take care of her daughter because only talking about the subject made her heart bleed. How could Alex put up with that task without falling apart again?

She sighed. She wouldn’t be a coward, she wouldn’t run away and let her dreams only live inside her head. She deserved to get over it and she would, even if help was needed.

“Danvers?” A woman pulled her away from her thoughts and smiled shyly “I must admit that the description Lena had of you wasn’t of much help today.”

“And may I know how that Luthor described me?” Alex cocked a brow, pointing to the vacant chair.

“Redhead, strong, sarcastic humor, enviable body and the most interesting woman I’ll ever meet beside her” they laughed “and I want to find out if that’s true.”

“Well, for good or bad, she’s right,” she smirked, “but I’m far more interesting than her.”

“She also said you were going to say that” Alex rolled her eyes “have you eaten yet?”

“Just a cappuccino” she pointed to an empty cup on the table “let’s order and you can tell me more about your arrival at Metropolis.”

“Hm, a curious woman” Sam smiled “I’m the one who should be asking the questions, after all, you’re babysitting my daughter for a whole day” she dramatized, making Alex laugh “it’s a very important job, you’re gonna be exhausted.”

“I like challenges” Alex relaxed “how old is she?”

“Thirteen, she’s at that phase she thinks she can do and decide everything by herself” she rolled her eyes “but I can’t complain, Ruby is a lot less work than some kids I know.”

The waiter approached the table and they paused the conversation to order. Alex asked for another cappuccino and her sister’s favorite waffled, Sam asked the same but with a black coffee instead. Apparently, Sam and Lena were more alike than she thought.

“What do you want to know about me?” Sam stared, intertwining her fingers in front of her face.

“I thought you were the one asking questions since you’re going to be my boss for a whole day” Alex imitated her voice.

“I like bossing people around” she winked and they laughed, both smirking a little “do you like children?”

And there was the complicated question, with the even more complicated answer.

“I do,” she confessed, inhaling deeply “I always did.”

“Do you want to be a mother someday?” Alex felt her body tense and suddenly her mind was overwhelmed. Hands sweating cold and shaking, she quickly hid them under the table. Sam frowned, observing the reaction “I’m sorry, did I cross a line?”

“No” but her voice cracked “no, of course, no, is just that… It's a bit of a painful story for me but to answer you, yeah. I’d like to be a mother someday.”

“That’s enough for me” she smiled, trying to regain Alex’s calmness “motherhood is never an easy subject.”

“So it wasn’t easy for you?” Alex raised her eyes and they met, sharing years of fighting and hurt in one look. As if they had already met “well, I assume it wasn’t. You look young which means Ruby probably was born when you were sixteen or maybe seventeen.”

“Observing one are you?” she sighed “I got pregnant early and had to deal with a responsibility most people don’t want to. I moved on in school, got most grades, and graduated before my class. My mom was never who I wanted her to be, you know? The one who tells you the truth, that supports and understands you, so I moved out and went to Metropolis, where I dealt with motherhood alone.

“Ruby must be very proud of you” Alex commented, unsure of what to say “being a single mom these days sometimes can be worse than forty years ago, but I’d give anything to be as strong as you.”

“Thanks” Sam felt her cheeks blush “and thanks for not bringing the D-word.”

“D?”

“Dad” she sighed, “it’s the first thing that people ask.”

“I don’t see why bring it up if you made it clear you raised her on your own” Alex shrugged “if there was one, you would have talked about him by now.”

“I wish people were more like you” they smiled “any more questions?”

“Tell me more about Ruby, what she is like, hobbies…”

“You shouldn’t ask those things to a mama bear, Alex” she giggled “now this date will take way longer than we intended.”

“Talk away, I’m with the FBI, I can question a person longer than you can imagine” Alex spoke proudly and Sam cocked a brow, that caught her attention.

“An FBI agent, that’s intimidating” she teased.

“What can I say, I chase serial killers and have a gun on me” she got carried away but soon realized what she had said since Sam was quiet “oh, God, I’m not bringing a gun to your house” she corrected “I don’t even have it here, it wasn’t…”

“It’s okay,” Sam laughed. Her mind had wandered to a completely different interpretation, one she buried deep inside “I just got distracted with something. Why instead of just me talking, we just go to the park and I introduce you to my daughter?”

“Won’t it mess your routine? Because I know your boss and I must say she is insufferable, especially pregnant.” Alex rolled her eyes.

“Lena won’t fire me, she needs me more than I need her” Sam answered in the same tone. They got up ann Alex insisted on paying.

“Don’t let her hear that Sam” Alex whispered jokingly and they left the cafe.

 

They walk in silence to the park’s soccer court, surrounded by a grand green area full of tall trees and concrete seats that went a long way further. The cold wind and thin snow didn’t stop the parents from bringing their children to ride bikes and roller skate, so the place was crowded that morning. Alex rarely went to the park or took walks around there, she preferred the DEO’s gym to train and keep her shape. But, because of her mental state, J’onn reduced her work hours, and therefore, all the rest was reduced too. She missed the adrenaline, the anxiety, that butterflies in her stomach that flew when she had a mission, but Alex knew she had to take it slow.

Sam, on the other hand, tried to bring her daughter to the park on the weekends and felt guilty for not being able to spend more time with her. Ruby was more independent than she should for a girl her age, but she was loving, obedient and although very stubborn, was easy to keep under control. Sam never had any serious problems when it came to Ruby, she enjoyed studying, and because of her shyness didn’t get in trouble in school. Sam couldn’t complain, her daughter was better than she could have asked. When she decided to move to National City after long years in Metropolis, looking for a better life, L-Corp showed up with a divine proposal. Sam knew Lena from school and though they didn’t really keep in touch, their friendship survived the years. As she got Lena’s answer, all Sam could think about was how this was a great opportunity to offer Ruby a more promising future.

They saw the girl under a small wooden house, built over iron frames that also held some swings. The old lady watching her was sat on a bench, with a yellow mustard scarf around her neck, highlighting her curly white hair, making her look even more fragile. When Sam thought of calling them, an explosion on the center fountain scared them and caught everyone’s attention. Not long after, another explosion came, on the opposite side, too close to them. Concrete flew around, spreading over the grass and hitting some benches.

Chaos ensued.

The desperate frightening screams resonated loud when another boom pushed dirt on the children's park area. Sam ran towards Ruby but Alex stopped her by the arm.

“Alex!” Sam shouted and pulled back.

The redhead looked around, unsure of how to proceed to that situation.

‘Agent Danvers, we have a problem on the two main avenues.’

She heard J’onn say in her ear.

“I’m at the national park and we have three explosions, some wounded, and a lot of people stuck,” she informed.

‘We are on our way, approaching on the left. We still don’t know the reason or the target, clear the area and help the civilians.’

“Yes, sir.”

Alex ran around the playground, shouting for everyone to exit through the back, the farthest one from where the attacks happened. Few seemed to listen, but followed her order, which was a good start. She went back and tried to find Arias, but the old lady that was taking care of Ruby walked in circles, not knowing what to do. It was clear that she wanted to help the girl, but her body and age didn’t let her go very far. Alex saw Sam trying to move her daughter from under the house, uselessly. A huge tree branch fell over the colorful roof, keeping her stuck over the iron frames.

“Ma’am, I need you to listen to me carefully” Alex held her firmly on her shoulders “my name is Alex, I’m with the FBI, I need you to leave the place now.”

“But Ruby…”

“I know, I promise you I will get them out of here, but I can’t do that if you’re in danger” she explained, looking over to Sam again “you have to trust me?”

“Where do I go?” she asked, chokingly, clearly scared.

“There’s an exit to your right, on the back” she pointed and walked her halfway there “go as fast as you can and don’t stop, okay?”

“O-okay” she nodded, looking back one last time, and ran, obeying the agent.

Alex sighed, watching her leave and getting a bit more relieved. She turned to run back to Sam when another bomb was activated right on the bench where the old lady was sitting. The impulse threw her body like a rag doll to the other side of the court, shooting pain through her back once she hit the ground. She felt her lips bleed and her body warm up, groaning she got up fast. The white noise in her ear dizzied her for a moment, leaving Alex bewildered, the blurry vision didn’t let her see what was happening around her. When she came back to her senses, Alex witnessed Sam carry the whole iron structure with her bare hands.

She blinked.

This can’t be real, Alex thought to herself. She massaged her hand and blinked again. Now the sight was of the woman throwing whatever was left of the house away and pulling her daughter to herself.

She blinked again. And the noise in her ear pitched.

Shaking her head, Alex walked stumbling, and finally reached them. Ruby was crying scared, holding her mother’s arm.

“Sam, are you okay?” she asked screaming “we need to get out of here!”

When she turned around to the redhead, Alex swore she saw a red flash on the pretty brown eyes she met earlier.

 

***

 

The first thing she saw that freezing Saturday morning, were the blonde strands of hair over Kara’s face. And Lena knew she would never get used to that. She moved the hair softly, sighing at the sight of her girlfriend’s calm angelical face. Her beauty was surreal. Between work and professional dates, both women tried their hardest to keep that warm unique feeling alive in their hearts; but it wasn’t easy. Kara didn’t have what you call a quiet life, she was always buried under piles and piles of articles, interviews, and research about subjects she was writing about. Neither of them was happy about only having one hour together during the whole week and weekends, but it was moments like these they were the most attached to each other.

Deep down, Lena knew what she was feeling, And that terrified her every now and then. Kara never said if it was reciprocal quite the same and Lena was scared that, if Kara one day did, she wouldn’t be brave enough and would run away. Which would ruin her friend and relationship with the woman sleeping next to her. Pushing those thoughts away, Lena smiled and sighed, taking her time to softly kiss her cheeks, so lightly her lips barely touched the skin. Lena felt her arms around her waist, the warmth of her body heated her on that winter weather, beating the apartment heater.

And that caused a certain feeling in her center, a need for relief between her thighs. Her heart raced as lustful thoughts invaded her mind, remembering what they did at Midvale until her body tired itself. Lena swallowed dry, uselessly trying to focus and not letting her body implode with desire

Two crystal blue irises stared at her, alert and intense.

“Hey…” Kara whispered hoarsely.

“Hey…”

They stayed quiet, both hearing each other heartbeats race out of their chests. Lena lost herself at the sight of her curves, observing the way the large shirt had gone up, exposing the rest of her toned, warm body, the simple black panties fully showing. Her brain turned off for long minutes, almost dead shorting. If it was winter out there, summer was hiding in that room. Kara took a deep breath, feeling her own body temperature rise and the familiar sweet bother between her legs start. She was turned on and ready to beg for a touch. And she knew her girlfriend was feeling the same. Taking advantage of the situation, her hands went up slowly, in a torturous caress, going under the Luthor’s shirt and down her waist, never averting from the green eyes in front of her.

With urgency and fury, their lips met and Kara didn’t waste time, tasting her tongue with lavish. They kissed until oxygen was missing and breathed together. Her hands went down to her panties, playing with the tissue and caressing around it, making Lena throw her head back in a long suspire.

“May I?” she nodded, incapable of forming a coherent phrase.

Kara slid it down gently and tossed it out of the bed, turning her focus to Lena, who was laying on her side. She parted her legs and slid a finger through the wet centerfold, the liquid almost covering her finger. She slightly gasped as she realized how turned on Lena was. She went back to kiss and began to move on her clit, her moans and sound were music to her ears. Automatically, Lena started to move her hips, holding on to Kara’s waist and placing their foreheads together, she could already feel the unstoppable force growing in her.

“Wait…” Lena murmured.

“Did I do something wrong?” Kara stopped and the blue eyes stared at her, so the CEO smiled and pushed her into another intense kiss.

“Raise your hips,” she asked and Kara obeyed, feeling her girlfriend’s cold hands taking her panties off “I want you to come with me, Kara.”

Not waiting for an answer, Lena tasted her lips and her hands up and under her shirt, clamping her breasts with her fingers and listening to the blonde squirm and moan loudly. She put one leg between her girlfriend’s feeling her shiver with the contact of her center to her skin. Kara went back to her clit, at the same time she moved on her thighs. Their breathing got heavier, hotter and their kisses more sloppy and asking, hands traveling up and down their bodies. Without warning, Kara put two fingers on the CEO, and she screamed, euphoric with pure pleasure.

She moved in and out fast, her own humidity going down the Luthor’s thigh. She knew she was close.

In no time, Lena let her body get the best of her and she felt like she was imploding, limbs shaking, and vision momentarily failing. She gripped her girlfriend’s waist, trying not to scream. Kara felt her orgasm right away, the friction getting stronger and suddenly stopped because her legs were worn out. They panted, letting the silence fill the room, regaining conscience. Morning sex wasn’t something usual for them and the feeling of waking up needing them other’s body was entirely new. Like they needed extra contact to make sure what they were living wasn’t a lie or a very good dream.

They were living the truth. And were trying to prove to themselves it was real.

“Good morning…” Kara whispered, making Lena giggle.

“Yes, good morning indeed!” she said, watching Kara blush “did you sleep well?”

“Uhum” she affirmed, pulling Lena closer but feeling her belly get in the way “we have a Seedy between us.”

“We do” Lena smiled “and she is about to complain of hunger any second now.”

Kara slid her body down to go face to face with her daughter.

“I hope you slept well” she whispered tenderly, stroking the Luthor’s pale stretched skin and smiling “I love you” she kissed her and got her ear closed, listing to Lizzie’s heartbeat race.

Lena felt like crying and tried to maintain composure. But it was impossible. Her daughter was loved and, moreover, was accepted and welcomed like she was her friend’s. Lena wasn’t bothered when people thought Kara was Seedy’s mother, because, deep down, she wanted her to be, but she wasn’t brave enough to say it out loud. What if their relationship ended? What could Lena do to get over their connection? How would Lizzie feel, or worst, how would she feel knowing her daughter would be born and grow up away from the person who loved her most genuinely?

Therefore, she stayed quiet about it. And her stomach roared, along with Kara’s.

“This is Lizzie saying she doesn’t want cuddles, she wants food” Lena warned.

“C’mon, I’ll make you two breakfast” she got up but Lena groaned, feeling lazy.

“I need a shower and to put on some clothes” she smirked and got out of bed, accepting Kara’s extended hand.

They went into the large bathroom, adorned with Victorian ornaments but still modern. Kara helped her out of her shirt, taking off her own next, tying her head up in a messy bun. Before entering the shower, Kara noticed how Lena looked at herself in the mirror, lost in her thoughts and judging her body. She slowly traced the white stretch marks that sliced her skin and covered her lower stomach. Lena was still upset about them and didn’t know how to get over it. She frowned, bothered, and tried to bury the subject.

“Hey, don’t be like that” Kara hugged her and kissed her knuckles smiling “you are beautiful, Lena. I know these marks bother you but, believe me, I love every single one of them and I hope one day you’ll see them as I do.

They smiled quickly and Lena leaned on her friend’s shoulder, taking a deep breath and taking the sweet words in. They got into the shower and began to move in perfect synchrony like they were used to this routine choreography, an almost perfect dance. Lena cleaned herself first, watching the water go down her girlfriend’s body, and then they changed places. They talked about work, new articles that Kara was writing and needed her help for, plans for Christmas, and their weekend together. While Lena spoke, Kara massaged her head with shampoo.

“Hmmm, this is so good” Lena murmured “I might sleep standing.”

“I can move to your back later, we have the whole day together” Kara answered smiling and playing with the dark hair.

“Actually, I have to drop by L-Corp after the ultrasound but it won’t take long. I have to speak with Alex too,” she explained.

“Alex is at the DEO,” Kara said and received a confused look from her girlfriend in return “er… she told me about her real job some time ago and well… uh, I couldn’t say anything because it was a secret, but Alex told me you didn’t like keeping that secret, so… well…”

“Breathe, dear” they inhaled at the same time “I’m glad you know the truth, it’s better for the both of us.”

“Right” Kara averted her eyes, swallowing dry and going back to her activity.

“What are you doing with my hair?”

“Uh… nothing” she answered quickly, undoing the funny shapes she had sculpted on her girlfriend’s head “you can wash it now” Lena turned around and cocked a brow at her “you’d look good with whiter eyebrows and a beard like this” Kara spread the foam on her cheeks and laughed at the image.

“Dumbass” Lena rolled her eyes and washed off the remaining shampoo.

“I’m going to make us some food, okay?” Kara tried to grab a towel but Lena pulled her back in and took her in a passionate kiss “Lena, we’ll never leave this shower like that” she murmured on her lips.

Before Lena could answer, her stomach roared.

“Your daughter is hungry,” Kara pointed out.

“She’s always hungry, Kara” she smiled and stepped out of the shower “let’s feed this child.”

“Only the child?” She pouted.

“My two children” Lena squeezed her cheeks and headed to the closet to find something comfortable to wear while at home.

The kitchen synchrony was no different from the shower. While Kara scrambled eggs and fried the bacon, Lena finished cutting some fruits and putting them in small pots. They put on a nice playlist and heard Agnes bark. She was also hungry. Lena took the huge sack of dog food and put some on her pot, watching her devour it quickly. The puppies were still young but their crying was loud, they dragged themselves through the floor, eyes shining with curiosity for the strange world around them.

Lena sat on the floor and took one of them, placing him on her neck, between the clavicles. Both the male and female puppies fit in the palm of her hand and had golden fur like her mother.

“Have you picked the names yet?” Kara sat down next to her, fixing the glasses on her nose “he smells so good” she took the puppy in her hand, kissing his nose.

“Not yet....” she sighed “actually I thought of a name for the boy. But I have no idea for the girl.”

“Can I help?” Lena nodded “okay, I thought of one that is very you and I think you’ll like it. But tell me yours first.

“Krypto” Lena felt her cheeks burn and her friend’s blue eyes shone.

“Wh-what?”

“It’s a simple tribute to Krypton” she explained “the planet Lizzie won’t ever be able to visit or get to know because it doesn’t exist anymore” her voice got lower as the sadness of those words dawned on her.

Kara held back her tears and took a deep breath. Lena really did care about her history.

“Your turn.”

“Leah, like the princess from Star Wars, but written the same way it’s pronounced” she scoffed “do… you like it?”

“I love it, Kara” and leaned in for a kiss.

 

***

 

After having breakfast and enjoying the laziness on the couch with a random movie playing on the tv, they got up to get ready for the consult. Lena fixed the house up for Agnes, who still couldn’t be away from her children, and pet her head before closing the door. Since it was Saturday, Lena chose not to call the driver, after all, he deserved the weekend’s off. Kara followed her to the garage and so they headed to the doctor’s office, where they were about to see their daughter’s development after six months.

Kara had already gotten started on the way there, reading every piece of information possible on the app and Lena was pretty impressed about how right they were every time. Although Lena could already listen to Lizzie’s heartbeat beat, she wanted to listen to it in the normal way and see her on the black and white screen. It was her assurance to her daughter’s safety. They talked about their weekend plans since Kara was staying with her until Monday morning and parked in front of the familiar building.

The receptionist smiled politely, now calling Lena by her first name, from a personal request.

“How are you feeling, Lena?” the doctor asked, taking notes on her patient’s file.

“Still sleepy and needing to pee all the time” she sighed “and worried about some stretch marks that keep appearing” Lena averted her eyes but felt her girlfriend’s hand hold hers.

“That is perfectly normal, although it bothers some people and may cause low self-esteem” the doctor explained calmly “don’t worry about it, there’s nothing wrong about having stretch marks or cellulitis, your body works in a wonderful way and it’s working hard to keep your daughter safe. Cut it some slack and more important, cut yourself some slack” she smiled.

“Thank you.”

“About the sleepiness, that should go away by the seventh month but I believe the need to go to the bathroom won’t” she was sincere “in fact, it might increase, it varies from person to person. As your baby grows, she takes more space inside you, which pushes your bows down, there are times the babies kick the organ with their feet and make you crazy for a bathroom. I hope Lizzie isn’t like that.” she smiled.

“Did you hear that, baby girl?” Lena poked her belly and laughed “I think she knows.” Cameron laughed along.

“I have a question” Kara finally manifested her presence “er… I mean...:” she scoffed, squirming on her seat “can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, Kara” she affirmed, “go ahead.”

“I… I don’t know how to put this, but… are there any restrictions on...uh” her cheeks burned “uh… you know. That” she scoffed “I don’t want her to get hurt or… it to bother…”

“Sex is completely normal during pregnancy, if that’s what you’re talking about” the doctor tried not to smile at the woman’s embarrassment “all couples do it, especially on the ninth month. I always advise people who want to go for natural labor to stimulate their contractions with certain exercises, foods but sexual penetrations are what truly helps.”

Oh, Rao.

Lena felt her own face burn.

“Since you both are women, I advise you to use sex toys for penetration” Kara almost choked at the thought “don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt the baby, it only leaves them agitated, which is why you must always rest after it, okay?”

“Right,” Lena answered.

“Let’s see your weight and how our little girl is doing on her sixth month” Cameron got up and asked Lena to take off her shoes. In twenty-two weeks, she had gained fifteen pounds, which scared and concerned her. What would she look like in the ninth month? How much would she weigh once Lizzie was born? She didn’t want to change for the worst, to become ugly or full of marks. Her heart raced and Kara noticed.

So, before her girlfriend laid on the bed, she pulled her into a tight hug and whispered words of encouragement that only said the truth, like that Lena was the most beautiful woman in the world.

“Well, Lizzie currently looks like a very skinny and tiny newborn” the doctor explained, moving the device over the gel on her skin “she is around 27 centimeters and weighs 437 grams. A very strong girl, I must say, very well fed too” she smiled “keep it up, Lena, your daughter is growing a lot.”

Kara looked at her proudly and took her hand in hers.

“The lips and eyes are already formed, though they don’t have color yet and the skin looks wrinkled because she is still small. The pancreas is still producing hormones, probably her ovary is producing the necessary eggs for a possible breed when she is older, I know it sounds bizarre, but all of us women are born with a certain number of them. We stopped producing them once we’re born” she explained “also, the first signs of teeth are already showing, and on the seventh month, Lizzie will begin to experience pain in her gums. Be prepared.”

The couple watched the screen attentively, where they could see the baby sucking on her thumb and holding her toe. Lizzie was active, moving around a lot and bigger than most babies her age. Cameron explained that it was usual, every pregnancy is unique and there was nothing wrong with little miss Luthor-Danvers. Yes, the doctor put the two names together, catching them by surprise. But in different ways. While Lena believed the action might bother her girlfriend, since she wasn’t obligated to take in a child that wasn’t technically hers, Kara thought her girlfriend would never let her feel like the mother, because only Supergirl was entitled to that.

And so, neither of them had the courage to correct or rectify.

They grabbed the images, listened to a couple more recommendations, and left the place, still intoxicated by the loud sound of their daughter’s heartbeat.

“I have to go to L-Corp to get the last details about the Christmas Gala and then I’ll deliver the photos at the DEO,” Lena said while driving “I promise I won’t take long.”

“Is it okay if I stay at yours?” Kara asked embarrassed but the Luthor handed her a key with a keychain “what’s that?”

“My apartment’s key, I want you to have it” she looked over to the blonde, who was so emotional with the sudden action that was left speechless “you gave me the key to yours and I just wanted to know you’re always welcome at my home.

To be honest, Lena wanted her girlfriend to feel what she felt like to be happy like she was. But, Kara wanted to cry, because the feeling of having a home where she was welcome, where she was fully loved and accepted was indescribable. The Danvers took her in from a place of charity, that was the truth, as much as they loved her, it wasn’t a night to day thing. Not that Kara was complaining, never, she was more than grateful for her family and wouldn’t trade them for anything. But, her best friend was offering her a home because of who she was, without asking anything in return.

Her heart drowned in guilt and once again, she thought about the millions of ways to tell her the truth. She could do it right there, right now, but she couldn’t even utter a thank you. And that was the right to say the truth, just saying it. No plans, no surprises, and no expectations for forgiveness.

The CEO dropped her girlfriend off in front of the building and asked her to take Agnes on a walk. Then rushed to the company, where only a few workers were, and took the documents that Sam had put on her table, along with the Ball papers. Most people present at L-Corps were lab scientists who didn’t stop the tests and theories on weekends, and that was the reason she loved going there the two days. It was calm, empty and her day became more consistent and productive with the lack of meetings and constant invasion in her office. Lena could put on her white coat again and get back to being an engineer, who spent day and night entertained with microscopic life.

Following that train of thought, Lena remembered one of her new project’s sketches was already on paper and that was also a reason she needed to go to the DEO, besides speaking with Alex and giving the consult images to Supergirl. Lena gave her company one more look and got in the car, driving to meet her daughter’s other mother.

 

***

 

The department’s entrance always caught the agent’s attention and made them quite terrified of looking at the Luthor who was carrying Supergirl’s daughters. Not that they thought she was evil, like her family, but were afraid of the super mom, super protective and nervous. Winn smiled as he saw her walk in and J’onn politely greeted her, as he always did, preferring to give the relationship a professional distance and not mentioning tests on the baby anymore. Which Lena was grateful for because she would bring that building down before anyone there dared to lay a finger on her daughter. And no one was willing to bet on it.

“Where is Alex?” she asked, already heading to the stairs

“Hey, good afternoon for you two!” Winn followed her, looking anxious “can you wait just a second?”

“Okay,” she turned around, “you have my attention.”

“Uh, don’t do the eyebrow thing, please” he tried to lower it with his finger, “I think it’s cool and intimidating but it scares me” Lena laughed and relaxed her face “this is for you” he handed a package with red and green reindeers drawn on it “consider it an early Christmas gift.”

“Oh…” what was she supposed to say to the boy? “I… I wasn’t expecting this” she sighed “I’m sorry, I didn’t get you anything, I didn’t think…”

“Don’t worry about it, Lena” he smiled “gifts are a pleasure for those who give, not for what you get in return” Winn’s smile grew “c’mon, open it!”

“Okay” Lena opened it carefully, to reveal two baby overalls “oh God…”

One had Supergirl’s symbol and a heart on the center, written over it, the phrase ‘loved by two super moms’. The second one, green, had ‘Proud Baby’ grandly written with the gay flag colors.

Lena smiled big and held them tight, her mind quickly wandering to a baby crawling on four wearing them, Speechless, she pulled Winn to an awkward hug, one he wasn’t expecting and thought was exclusive to Kara. But he accepted it immediately and hugged her back, measuring his strength because he didn’t know what could hurt her, if he could hurt her or if Supergirl could show up at that moment and kick his ass. They stepped apart and Lena sighed, drying an insistent tear on her eye.

“Thanks, Winn” she murmured “I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

“No problem” he smiled “Kara told me you like the others so I thought it was time for a couple more. Lizzie can’t walk around without the perfect fashion, what kind of uncle would I be?” Winn joked but Lena was caught off guard again.

Uncle. She never thought a daughter of hers would have so many people that loved her in so many ways. If Lena decided to keep her, she had already convinced herself it was going to be just the two of them. She couldn’t expect her girlfriend to take that responsibility in, or Alex to be her auntie and Eliza some kind of grandma. Being fairly honest, Lena would rather for Lizzie to never know about Lilian and her brother and her family, but now it was different. Her friends - she stopped. Was Winn her friend? - they were already taking part in the baby’s life. And there was Schott, saying he wanted to be in Lizzie’s life.

“Yeah…” she laughed, moved “what kind of uncle would you be” he smiled back and her heart melted.

“I hope he isn’t bothering you” Alex showed up, limping with a careful bandage on her face “Winn can be more unbearable than Kara sometimes when he wants to.”

“He would have to overcome his fear of me to be a bother first, Danvers” she smirked and Winn gasped “actually, I was getting gifts” she showed off the little clothes.

“Hey!” Alex punched him “you not stealing my title of cool aunt.”

“Ouch, c’mon Alex, Lizzie can have two cool aunts” he retorted “there isn’t a limit.”

“I’m the sister-in-law!”
“And I’m…” he stopped to think “Kara’s best male friend and the smartest, funniest, most handsome guy in this department” Alex snorted.

“You’re going to need more than that, Schott” Alex pointed out and he grimaced, looking like an upset child.

“Lena!” he complained.

“Okay, not fighting” Lena got in between them “Lizzie will consider you both a cool aunt and uncle, the more the better. Also, more gifts for her too,” she said and Winn stuck out his tongue to Alex and she did the same right away “Alex, how are you after the attack?” Lena turned to her as Winn left to go meet J’onn.

“Aching and having trouble walking. There's a disgusting bruise on my lower back” she sighed “I’m on leave for a couple of days until I get better, I’m lucky nothing broke.”

“Do me a favor and rest, no funny business or stubbornness about it” Lena was firm.

“Okay, mom” she teased “do you know how Sam is?”

“She’s a strong woman” Lena tried to comfort the agent but it seemed useless. Alex was very concerned about what happened “she was in shock for seeing Ruby almost get hurt and I gave her the week off. They need that time together.”

“It was scary,” Alex confessed, “but Sam… well, she was really strong.”

“She asked about you too, wanted to know if you were okay and if help came” Lena informed, having fun “why don’t you pay her a visit?”

“Do you think I should?” she hesitated. Alex barely knew the CFO but that didn’t mean she didn’t care.

“Of course you should, Sam would love to see that you’re okay and have a chat” Lena was sincere “I’ll text you the address later, I promised…” she turned around to continue her away through the corridor but stopped as a strong body, dressed in blue uniform bumped into hers.

“Ops” Supergirl, who was too busy trying to untie her cape from her belt to look forward, didn’t notice Lena in her way “sorry!”

Her arms quickly caught the CEO as she lost balance. Their bodies got close, the heat between them was palpable. Lena grabbed the strong biceps, trying to not fall face to the floor and that was when she noticed the concerned face of the girl of steel. She felt her belly touch her stomach, their breasts were too close and their eyes met. Time stopped and they were lost in the moment. Those blue irises seemed to scream her name as if they wanted to tell her something Lena could swear she saw something else inside of them

“Sorry, I didn’t see you there, I…” Supergirl said awkwardly, letting go of Lena and looking at her sister who observed the scene “what are you doing here?”

“I came to give you the photos and I need to talk to you,” she said mysteriously, somewhat scared of what the hero would have to say ‘it’s not about the pregnancy but it has to do with our daughter and you.”

“Uh, okay…” she grimaced. What did Lena mean by that? “c’mon, let’s go somewhere else.”

“It can’t take long, I promised Kara I’d be back soon” Supergirl nodded, looking down “are you going to be alright, Alex?”

“Of course” she smiled.

The agent watched both women walk away and sighed, rolling her eyes and laughing to herself. Alex didn’t understand how they could be so in love and still have so many secrets. As she turned around, her phone vibrator, a message from Lena appeared on the bright screen.

Sam's address.

 

***

 

“Nope, I can’t do this anymore” the CEO complained for the millionth time in the bathroom.

“Lena Lutessa Luthor, don’t make me go in there and drag you out” Sam answered, waiting for her friend to leave as she took her dress in her hands “you are the host of this party.”

“You can take my place, no one wants to see me anyway” she continued, the door still locked “Sam, I’m not going to make it.”

“C’mon out, please,” she asked calmly “Ruby, baby, can you wait for me in the living room? Turn on the tv.”

“Can I see the puppies?” The girl asked with begging eyes.

“Of course my love, but be careful with Agnes, okay?” she nodded “call me if you need anything.”

The door was opened and from it, walked out a pale Luthor, only in underwear and wearing red eyes. She was clearly bothered by the weight gained, the constant need to pee as her swollen legs. Being pregnant wasn’t heaven, it was glamorous and it didn’t make you more happy or lively. It was nothing like what some women preached it was in the media. Lena was exhausted. Her feet ached if stayed in the same position for too long, just like her back and hips. She was sweating more, especially because of her daughter's alien DNA that heats her up from the inside.

And now she wasn’t fitting on the dress she had in mind for the event.

“Oh, Lena” Sam sat down beside her and pulled her in for a hug, feeling her cry “it will pass, I promise you. There are only two months and a half to go and Lizzie will be out here in a blink of an eye.”

“I’m a disaster, Sam” she sobbed “what are they going to think of me? The Luthor, pregnant by an unknown person, has the audacity to breed a child that doesn’t deserve that name or that horrible family. The judging, I might not care, but it still hurts so much.”

“I know it does, but you have to understand that no one has the right to opine on your life and your choices” Sam was direct, drying her tears with the palm of her hand “I will be by your side the whole time and if someone dares to be disrespectful to you, they are going to deal with my lack of respect for them. Got it?” Lena smiled, though it still hurt.

“Lena?” they heard the door creak and a beautiful blonde walk in “am I interrupting?”

“Of course not” Sam got up and greeted her “Samantha.”

“Oh! You’re the girl Alex won’t shut up about” Kara said fast and covered her mouth as soon as the words escaped her “I shouldn’t have said that…”

“It’s okay, I promise I won’t tell her” Sam smirked “come on, Lena needs you right now. I’ll be waiting for you two outside.

“Thanks, Sam, and uh… it’s very nice to meet you” she smiled and was left alone with her girlfriend

As soon as the door closed, their eyes met and there were pure comprehension and tenderness in the look. Kara moved towards her and sat by her side, pulling her in. She knew changing clothes was hard for Lena, always giving her bad thoughts about her body. Kara wasn’t going to tell her to stop crying and try to make it better quickly, Alex explained to her that patience was the key, she needed to let her crumble and then help her get back up. Being strong wasn’t about not falling apart, but about standing up after the fall. So, Kara didn’t interrupt Lena’s sobbing, letting her cry all her fears on her shoulder.

“Shhh” Kara caressed the tied black hair “do you want some water?”

“...yeah” the blonde reached for the cup on the nightstand and handed it carefully “thank you.”

“Are you feeling better?” she murmured softly.

“I don’t know” Lena was honest, feeling the urgency of tears again “I just get angry because I can stop crying and being so weak. I wasn’t supposed to be like that, but when I look into the mirror… I can’t.”

“Lena, my love, listen to me” Kara intertwined their hands “I know it’s hard, and losing control is very scary, but let me explain to you something. Beauty isn’t about looking good in a dress or having a thin body with no marks and curves. An unmarked body is a body without a story.” she cleaned the tears off of her face “when people ask you about them, you can tell them the truth, you created the most amazing person in the world in nine months. I could sit here for hours, saying everything I think is pretty about you, like the way you half smile when you get shy for getting a compliment. I know they are rare but you deserve every single one of them. Or the ways your eyes shine when you talk about science, something you love. The little brown spot on your neck, or the scar under your eyebrow, the way you talk to me and to Lizzie. Everything about you is beautiful, Lena Luthor.”

Lena looked away, not even trying to hold back tears.

“The dress doesn’t fit anymore” she confessed, “what do I do?”

“I’ll fix it.”

“Kara…”

“Yeah?”

"Thank you” Kara kissed her without hesitation and smiled “ready for your first event as my girlfriend?”

Oh, Rao.

“With you by my side, always” Kara tried to sound confident but she was at the brink of a breakdown.

After another forty minutes, the four women left the apartment, Kara was very entertained in a conversation with an even more entertained Ruby. Sam smiled and Lena and held her hand the whole way. She never felt prouder of the woman the CEO had become.

 

***

 

The annual gala ball, sponsored and organized by L-Corp, was always a tradition, even when Lex Luthor was the company’s CEO. The party took place to raise money for local orphanages and hospitals that needed that extra help to get through empty winters. Collecting money using good humor and will and appearance on businessmen and rich folk because of the Christmas spirit was the best tactic the Luthors had come up with. Everybody liked practicing good behavior in family holidays such as there, they wanted to show off kindness and selflessness and believe one good action paid off for a whole year of bad ones. The whole thing was pure hypocrisy but Lena tried to not pay attention to that.

The five-star hotel lobby, located at the heart of National City welcomed every kind of person - the invited ones of course - from essential company workers to important investors. The decoration was Christmas-themed, with red and gold colors on the tables and lights. Small candlesticks were put in the middle of the center table, where the supper would be served and uniformed waiters walked barely touching the ground, in a choreographed dance. Everything looked good and conversation filled the place with life and joy. Instrumental music played in the background and children played in the backyard.

Sam greeted everyone with sympathy and politeness, welcoming first time families, same went for the CEO, who received dozens of hands from associates. Kara tried to go with the flow, at times moving away to grab some food. For Kara’s joy, her girlfriend knew her well and filled the table with her favorite potstickers. Which resulted in her being mouthful most of the time, focusing not to do something embarrassing.

“Kara, get a hold of yourself” Alex whispered to her sister “Where’s Winn?”

“He said he was going to the bathroom but I think he’s talking to someone” Kara murmured back, still chewing “wasn’t James with him?”

“I don’t know” she sighed “who is that kid?” Kara followed Alex’s look to find a girl in a light blue dress watching the couples dance.

“Oh, that’s Ruby” Alex frowned, how didn’t she remember the girl? “I think this party is boring for her.”

“Well, it’s not like me and you have other things to do except drink and eat fancy things” she retorted “I’ll be right back.”

Alex made her way to Ruby and said hello with a shy smile. The girl had her hair braided back and looked at the woman with a doubtful mind.

“Hey, would you give me this dance” she gave her her hand “I’m Alex.”

“I know” the girl finally smiled “are you really going to dance with me?”

“Only if you’d give me honor” she winked and Ruby stood up excitedly.

They walked to the dance floor and got in positions. Alex was still a bit sore but nothing that would keep her from having fun. They whirled around the place, Ruby laughing out loud as she realized Alex was just as bad as her. They didn’t care about the looks because the focus was on each other and the music in the air. Sam felt Lena poke her shoulder and excused herself from a conversation. Her friend guided her to the other part of the venue and she saw her daughter laughing, led by a clumsy redhead with no talent for dancing, twisting the girl in the place.

The smile on her face was inevitable.

“Good luck” Lena whispered to her and Sam felt her cheeks burn “I’m going to say hi to the other guests.

When Winn returned to the table, Kara had her eyes lost and he noticed right away a tenseness emanating from her. Her fist was closed and two wrinkles were showing between her brows. That was worrying because it meant she was hearing or seeing something that bothered her to a catastrophic level. Winn turned around and spotted the problem: Veronica Sinclair. What was that woman doing there? Wasn’t she in jail? Yeah, that woman enslaved aliens and put them in a ring in the name of money. But there she was, talking to none other than Lena Luthor.

Winn didn’t know what that conversation was about, but whatever it was, it wasn’t pleasing Kara. The situation got worse when Sinclair tried to touch the CEO’s belly. Lena stepped away, uncomfortable with the action but it wasn’t enough.

“I’ll be right back” Kara got up abruptly, leaving a confused and worried Winn behind.

Kara walked fast, fighting her instincts not to use her superspeed to reach her girlfriend, and when she did, Kara put one arm around her waist possessively, smiling the fakest of smiles to Veronica. Lena stared at her confused but soon relaxed.

“Veronica, this is Kara Danvers” Lena introduced “my girlfriend.”

“Hello,” the woman said, menacing “grant me this dance, Lena. For old time’s sake.”

“How about you and I dance?” Kara got a hold of the situation and took her hand.

The trio was silent but Sinclair felt anger rise up. She let Lena go and watched Kara purposefully kiss the CEO in front of her. They walked to the dancefloor and moved closer to each other, tension emanating.

“Possessive much, Danvers?” Veronica whispered, Lena, observed them move with almost despair.

“More than you can imagine” Kara held the tone.

“For a Kryptonian, I thought Luthor’s weren’t accepted as relationship partners” she provoked.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” Kara answered “but let me make something clear. Lena isn’t available and will never be available for you. I won’t ever let you near her to my daughter, so don’t underestimate me, Veronica, you don’t know what I’m capable of when my family is involved.” she stepped away and smiled “thank you for the dance, I hope we are understood.”

“You can’t decide for her,” Sinclair said, watching her return to her girlfriend.

“No, no I can’t. But I can make sure there is no room in her life for you.”

Getting the last words, Kara got back and found Lena again, breathing in relief, still feeling the blood boil inside her. She had no idea what pushed her to go there and act like that like she needed to fight for her place in Lena’s heart. But part of her panicked, seeing the two people she loved being so close with someone like Veronica Sinclair. Her daughter was an alien, though half-human. She would never let her be with someone that despised her existence and would never allow Lena to be with someone so dangerous

Her body relaxed as Lena's eyes shined for her with confusion

“What happened?” she was worried “Kara, what was that?”

“She wants you back” Kara spilled the words “she’s interested in you” the Luthor cocked a brow and crossed her arms.

“I’m a Luthor and I am pregnant, I don’t think anyone wants me back” Lena was harsh, breaking a little of Kara’s heart with the words.

“You may not realize it but she didn’t move her eyes from your cleavage all night” Kara grumbled “I don’t… I…” she sighed “I don’t want anyone to want you back.”

“And may I know why?”

“Because I love you, Lena.”

Chapter Text

“Because I love you, Lena”

I love you. The three words repeated themselves in an infinite loop. I love you. Lena wasn’t expecting to hear them so soon or so surprisingly, maybe that was the right time. Maybe there wasn’t a right time. But still, her body froze in place and her lips couldn’t form one single word. Of all fears she had, being loved was at the top five scariest things that could happen to a Luthor. Lena looked for that feeling everywhere, but whenever she found it, she ran in the opposite direction. It wasn’t her fault, not entirely. She had been loved by her biological mother - at least she liked to believe that - but she lost her. She was loved by Lionel, Lex, and Jack. And neither of them was there.

It was like a curse, a heavy burden to carry. Lena lost everyone that loved her, even though she tried to save them however she could. What hurt the most, Lena had said the three words back to all of them but still, none of them stayed. Every loss, every goodbye, a part of her was taken away, like losing pieces of a puzzle, leaving incomplete and impossible to finish. What would happen if Lena said it back? Would she lose her best friend? Would she lose the only woman she ever loved, and loves, unconditionally?

Would she lose Kara like she was going to lose Lizzie in a couple of months?

Lena wouldn’t survive. The loss would be too grand to handle, she would rather die than see them both go at the same time. She couldn’t risk it.

“I’m sorry… I…. you don’t have to…” Kara scoffed and looked around, nervous “Lena, I…”

“Kara” Lena stepped closer, holding her face and making her look at her. There was love and fear in her eyes but Kara only wanted to show her first “no one is going to have me back because I only need you” she tried to be as firm as possible “we need you” her hands traveled down her belly. Kara did the same and closed her eyes, trying to focus only on the two heartbeats she loved the most in the world “I’ll be here whenever you want me” Lena almost whispered, Kara’s heartbeat resonated in her ear, calming her down.

With the corner of her eyes, Lena realized they were being watched and some photographers stepped closer to them. Wanting to speculate about her daughter’s father, her pregnancy and private life, and most of all, her love life. Lena was never public about any of her previous relationships, especially because most of them didn’t even mean anything to her, being purely a distraction device. Spheer was the only one she had a long relationship with, but for the media, they were nothing but science friends who had a project together. But Kara was different and the CEO wanted to show her that. She didn’t want to feel like an outsider or think that Lena didn’t take their relationship seriously.

When Lena said yes to her in Midvale, at the beach, her words were nothing but honest. She loved Kara, more than she could admit, more than what those three words meant. She wanted the whole world to know she had the most amazing woman by her side and that she loved her too. So, when the flashes began, Lena turned to the deep blue eyes again. She never thought she was ever going to feel like that, so fulfilled and so light at the same time. That feeling flooded out of her and became the best moment of that night.

“The paparazzi are coming” Lena murmured.

“Do you want me to leave?” Kara asked, concerned but her girlfriend smiled.

“No, I want you to kiss me and show them I’m only yours” she whispered.

Kara held her wait firmly, tracing down the dress and feeling Lizzie kick. Her girlfriend’s hands caressed her cheeks one more time and they closed the gap. The kiss was calm, filled with unknown passion and that agitated the butterflies in their stomachs. Lena asked for more, tasting her lips lightly, and got what she wanted. The flashes covered them whole and excited noise began because Lena Luthor was finally making an official statement about her love life, which used to be a state secret, like anything about her personal life. They all knew about Lex, but only Kara knew about the most intimidating woman in National City.

“Ms. Luthor, what can you tell us about the woman next to you?” One reporter asked.

“Kara Danvers, how does it feel to be dating L-Corp’s CEO” another one shouted.

Little by little, they approached the couple and they looked at each other again. Lena intertwined their fingers, she didn't care about answering any of those questions, as long as it was clear that her heart belonged to Kara.

Almost one hour later, Winn and James left the party, along with other guests that moved in groups. The ball was a success, the food was practically over and the drinks were still going around the venue. On the big screen, dog shelters were showing after Lena’s speech, just like issues regarding the environment and the fight against animal abuse. The dogs that Mary and Bailey brought were all adopted, leaving them ecstatic by the end of it. A lot of investors were impressed to see the company involved in that noble cause so forgotten by most philanthropists. The money raised was groundbreaking and was going straight to the shelters listed on the screen.

“I’m impressed with Lena” Sam commented to the redhead “I’ve never seen her so willing to face the media.”

“I’m glad about it, to be honest” Alex sighed “Kara might be this endless wheel of happiness and confidence but when it comes to her love life…”

“It disappears” she completed.

“Yeah… and Lena isn’t just any person to her, you know” Sam nodded, though she didn’t know much about her friend’s relationship “Kara loved her too much and I don’t know if she would ever get over an eventual breakup.”

“Let’s hope for the best, then” Sam reached for her hand and Alex felt her body react, getting a little hesitant.

“Yes,” Alex smiled, squeezing her hand back.

“Mom, can we get a dog too?” Ruby ran to them and sat next to Alex “I pinky promise I’ll take care of him, pretty please!”

“Yeah, mom, pretty please” Alex teased, seeing the woman roll her eyes and the girl laugh “why don’t you adopt one?”

“Because I already have enough things to worry about,” she said but her daughter complained.

“C’mon, they are even that much work” Ruby grumbled “If we get him I promise I’ll clean all his mess.”

“We both know it isn’t going to be like that, dear” Sam held her word “besides, you already have that science fair project to worry about.”

“I’m not going to do it,” Ruby frowned.

“Why not?” Alex asked curiously, “I thought you loved science.”

“Do you want to explain why?” Sam asked, trying not to laugh and Ruby took a deep breath, her daughter could be a drama queen sometimes.

“The teacher asked us to be pairs or trios, but since I’m the new girl, no one wanted to do it with me,” she said automatically, trying not to show how upset she was about it “and all the projects were already chosen.”

“Not all, honey” Sam caressed her brown hair.

“Which one is left?” Alex asked.

“The worst one” she sighed, making both adults laugh “don’t laugh at me, c’mon.”

“Ruby, you know all this drama is a bit unnecessary, right?” Sam arched a brow.

“Maybe” she shrugged “but I don’t want to do it alone.”

“What if you had a partner?” Alex suggested, getting their attention “a fun, smart, very pretty FBI agent a partner?” she winked.

“Alex” Sam reached for her hand again “you can’t just make people up.”

“Now you’re offending me, Arias” she gasped, trying not to freak out about the hand-holding “I’m going to forgive you this time.”

“How generous” she provoked “I could never live without your forgiveness.”

“I know” Alex smiled while Ruby observed the interaction with interest.

“I’m still here,” she said, laughing at their cheeks turning red “and I don’t have anyone to help me.”

“That’s why I’m volunteering to be your project partner” Alex continued “what do you say?”

“Seriously?” Ruby almost screamed “like, for real?” her eyes were shining.

“Like, very seriously” she affirmed, “you and I will be the best team.”

“Can we, mom?” she turned to Sam, who tried to smile less but just couldn’t.

“Well, who am I to stop you” Ruby didn’t hold back and jumped up to hug the redhead.

“You are definitely the best aunt in the world!” Alex’s face was red, still being held by the small arms.

“Wow, don’t let Lena hear that Rubs” she joked.

“You can discuss the project better on Monday” Sam commented, catching the agent by surprise “so there is enough time until the deadline.

“Wait… so I…” Alex was confused but Sam nodded, confirming now that she had somewhere to be every Monday at least until the end of Summer.

“You are the best mom in the world!” Ruby now hugged her mom and Alex laughed at the sight of Sam trying to hug her back in that uncomfortable position. However, the mother couldn’t be more grateful. Ruby was going to be in good hands and she was sure Alex was going to become an important person for her daughter.

And maybe even for herself.

 

***

 

“Did you get your science material?” Sam asked her daughter while making breakfast on that cloudy Monday.

“Yes, mom” Ruby answered mouthful, watching the woman fix her shirt again and again “why do you keep looking in the mirror-like every five minutes?”

“I don't,” Sam denied, grabbing her french toast.

“It’s aunt Alex, isn’t it?” she provoked “You like her.”

“She’s my friend, of course, I like her, Ruby” the girl rolled her eyes.

“You know what I mean, mom.”

“No, miss Cupid, I don’t don’t know what you mean” Sam grabbed the flaming hot pan, and Ruby’s eyes went wide as her mother didn’t show any sign of pain.

“If you called me Cupid then you knew what I mean” she retorted but keeping that moment in her head.

“Go brush your teeth and wait for Alex in the living room, okay?” Sam dodged the subject again “or I’ll be late.”

“Mom.”

“Yes?”

“You look beautiful, okay?” Sam smiled at the world, but couldn’t help her anxiousness. Why the hell was she feeling that way?”

Ruby jumped off the chair and ran to the bathroom, brushing her teeth and quickly going back to the couch. Sam left the breakfast on the table, unsure if Alex had already eaten or not, and went to her room to get her work material. The doorbell rang almost fifteen minutes later and her heart raced. Fuck. It felt so strange to be so anxious and happy to see the agent so soon, they spent the night texting each other, Alex wanted to know all about Ruby’s hobbies and favorite things, about how things were before moving to National City and if they were adapting well. It was fun and good to talk to her, like they had known each other for years and, obviously, Lena asked to know all the details about it.

“Am I too early?” Alex asked shily but Sam smiled.

“You’re right on time, come in. Ruby is in the living room” she closed the door “have you had breakfast yet?”

“I ate before leaving home, but thanks” Alex smiled “Nice shirt” she pointed out, making Sam flush.

“Oh, this?” she answered, “it’s old” lying.

“Still, I like it” Neither of them even tried to make long eye contact.

“Er… well” Sam scoffed and the silence grew uncomfortable. “I have to go, Lena isn’t feeling well and told me she was going to stay home. If you’re hungry there’s food on the table and I also left some extra money under the cookie jar in case you need anything and all the important phone contacts are on the fridge” she explained “you can call me any time and Ruby knows her way around the tv, she can tell you what she likes and…

“Sam, breathe” Alex put both hands on her shoulder, seeing her body relax at the touch “Ruby and I will be fine, trust my skills.”

“Only if you show me all of them” Sam muttered, making Alex shiver “good luck to you two. Ruby, behave!” the girl shouted an ‘Okay!’ back.

“Have a nice day at work,” they said goodbye to each other and so the day began. Alex made her way to the couch and laid down next to the girl “what do we have for today?”

“That shirt isn’t really old” Ruby commented, up to no good “she couldn’t stop looking in the mirror.”

“Rubs! You can’t gossip about your mom” she was only half-joking “but seriously, she did that?”

“Uhum” she nodded “all the time.”

“What else?”

“I can’t gossip about my mom” Alex rolled her eyes at the provocation “you’re going to have to ask her.”

“Damn it” she sighed “do you think if I invite her to the Christmas Party… she’d come?”

“I don’t know, we usually don’t do anything so probably yes” Ruby turned to face her “I can help you if you want but with one condition.”

“You’re a lot smarter than I thought” Alex commented “what condition?”

“First, you’re going to get me an A for the science fair” Alex nodded, agreeing “and second, I want to go to Disney.”

“Wh-what… I’m sorry, what?” Alex choked on air.

“I want to go to Disney on my birthday and mom never has time for us to go” she confessed, pouting.

“Rubs, I can’t take anywhere without your mom’s permission” Alex was serious “Nor give you gifts without her consent first.”

“That’s why you’re going to date her first” Ruby said, shrugging and Alex’s face burnt.

“Ruby…”

“Take it or leave it.”

“I can’t believe I’m cutting a deal with a thirteen-year-old” Alex sighed, but shook her hand “one word about this to you mom and I’m out.”

The girl sealed her lips with her fingers.

“My mouth is a grave.”

They continued to watch whatever was on the tv until Alex asked about the science fair project and began pitching some ideas. Ruby got excited and ended up bringing all her school material to the couch. The day went by in a blink, between laughs and bad sketches for the fair. At lunchtime, Ruby asked Alex to cook something special only to find out the agent was a terrible cook. This resulted in the pair eating pizza while binging friends and another secret between them because apparently, Sam was just like Lena when it came to healthy food.

Sam got home in the evening to find a quiet house and her daughter sleeping in Alex’s arms.

 

***

 

Kara left her apartment in a hurry, but she almost canceled everything when she saw Lena was feeling indisposed. The ending of the sixth month wasn’t being kind, leaving Lena more tired, sleepy, and sick. The weight on her belly was beginning to bother her, keeping her from finding any good positions to sit or lie down. She had already bought a new chair for her office, took longer breaks between meetings, and was leaving work earlier. Her feet were swollen and the sweating was always there, her back also began to hurt if she stayed still in the same position for too long. Lizzie was growing non-stop, conquering more space and though Lena liked keeping her safe, she couldn’t wait to get her out.

Lena canceled all her appointments that morning, let Sam know about her sick state, and didn’t fight Kara as she made a bowl of fruit salad so her stomach wouldn’t be empty, after all her daughter couldn’t survive without food. Still feeling sick, Lena laid down again and asked for her girlfriend to keep her company for a couple more minutes, hugging that perfect body and waiting for her own to start working. Kara, of course, didn’t want to leave, but her anxiety was growing. She stayed there for about half an hour, playing with her hair and massaging her back until Lena smiled and told her she should go. She didn’t want to get in her way. Kara tried to argue but she didn’t want to stress her out, besides, James had called earlier to say he had a surprise waiting for her.

Kara made Lena promise she would call in case she got worse or something happened. She left the water by the bedside and closed the bedroom curtains, covering her girlfriend with a blanket and kissing her goodbye, whispering a soft I love you. Leaving the bedroom and making sure she was out of sight, Kara flew away.

The hero hadn't had time since the party to think about her actions and reactions and, in truth, she wasn’t sure she wanted to go there. To analyze how her heart ached as the three words weren’t said back. Not that Kara found it utterly necessary, because each person had their ways of showing love. One time, she read in a book that there are five languages and not all people fit in those five at the same time, many use only one and sometimes two, but not all.

The first one was words of affirmation. Usually said in compliments like ‘Dinner was great’, or ‘I think you’re really good at that or some assurance like ‘everything is going to be okay'. Some people use that kind of behavior as a way to show their love and people who feel loved when they hear praise from people they care about. When Kara thought about it, Lena fitted that pretty well, even before they became friends, Lena always used her words to encourage Kara’s career decisions. During all those years, there wasn’t one day that Lena went by without complimenting her work and saying how amazing she was at covering all points of view in an article.

The second one was quality time. It was about exclusive time, even if short, for those you love and wish to be around. Things that fit this category are meaningful conversations, going on walks, watching tv together, going to the movies and dates with friends at least once a week, and many other things.

It is believed that this love language is the most essential nowadays. With the rush of life and thousands of things demanding attention, sometimes it’s impossible to spend time with important people. And so, they drift away and as life goes by, it might become impossible to go back to the way things were. It’s essential to find time to truly be with people that your presence matters too. More than physically present, all these people want was for you to actually be there, body and soul, not thinking about anything else.

Kara knew how much Lena valued that love language. Their lunch dates, even if short or always interrupted were never canceled. Unless something really urgent came up and there was no way of avoiding it. They enjoyed spending time together, having if just one hour to talk, and just be there, keeping each other company. Many times they didn’t say much, they just stayed in comfortable silence, resting on the L-Corp’s couch after having lunch.

The third one was receiving gifts. That one was easy and every Luthor fitted that language. The reason why was obvious, especially when it came to Lena Luthor, the woman who adored gifting people expensive presents because that was the way she was raised. Instead of getting hugs, conversations, kisses, or love words, the little pale girl with dark hair and green eyes was used to being put aside, receiving dozens of colorful packages as a way to keep her quiet and please, even if she didn’t really care about material things. But when things repeat themselves too much, they become a habit and Lena began thinking about gifts as a way of showing love. And it was, but not the way she wanted to.

That love language infers that the financial value of the gift is what matters the least because love can be shown in a flower, a pizza slice, or jewelry. What matters is the symbolism of it, if the person who receives the gift feels grateful, happy, and fulfilled once the meaning and significance of it is realized. For people to feel loved by that gesture, they need to know that the gift was thought of wholeheartedly with the intention of pleasing and building memory, so the person would be remembered in their absence.

The fourth love language was acts of service. For this one, actions matter more than words. Things like doing the dishes, fixing the sink, taking the trash out, washing the car and other basic actions to show how important the person you’re doing this for is. It was important to pay attention to the thing that person did so they wouldn’t feel neglected, but valued and even motivated to keep it up. Besides love, there was a big chance they would feel happy too.

But that love language clearly didn’t fit either of them. Kara knew the importance of doing chores, something she learned when she was still a kid. Eliza made them make their bed and tidy their rooms and divided other chores between the sisters, while one washed the dishes, another did laundry, and vice versa, in an attempt to keep the house clean. But for Kara those were just a way to keep the family organized, it was a love language but not one Kara liked to speak or hear. Lena, on the other side of the very same coin, never had to worry about acts of service, her life was spoiled with cookers, cleaners, and babysitters, she never considered those actions to mean love.

The last one, but no less important was physical touch. Kara didn’t even need to dive too much into it. It was clear they both fitted that category perfectly. Kisses, hugs, poking, holding, the sex, the gentle touches, the handholding, and so many other things represented that type of love language. Some people needed the physical reminder that there was love. So the caress was essential, they felt safe through touch.

When someone is very dear, whether you are in an amorous relationship or not, you want to show that love in every possible way. And when it’s too intense, it spills and becomes physical, that being a soft touch, a tight hug, a massage, kisses and so it goes. Ever since she arrived on Earth, Kara made clear her preferences of touches and it was obvious her love for hugs. It was hard at first, having to control herself so she wouldn’t hurt anyone. But after she got used to it, that way became her favorite to express love.

But for Lena, it was different, mainly because she didn’t know what physical contact was and was scared of receiving or giving it. Kara still remembered their first hug, the way her arms surrounded her body and their cheeks met. The cold skin on her hot arms made her tremble and Kara had to pretend the reason she was shaking what the article publication. The scent never left her memory, the soft comfortable body became her favorite feel and so that gesture turned out to be their friendship’s essential point. Now that the friendship became something else, they figured out another way to show love and care through physical contact and each discovery only pushed them closer to love.

However, although Kara saw herself in some of the love languages, the author said that it is different for each person and your love language might now be familiar to the other person or vice versa. So communication was important, same with understanding and an agreement to showing love in a way that there aren’t double meanings or doubts. Kara saw herself looking for words of affirmations and using physical touch, while Lena was more of a quality time person and used gifts, though she was one for words as well. But maybe ‘I love you’ didn’t fit those words yet.

“I’m here, James” Kara panted running into the room and her friend smiled, but with a concerned face “sorry I’m late, this morning was… complicated.”

“Is anything wrong with Lena?” he got up to hug her.

“Yeah, she woke up feeling sick and indisposed” she sighed “I get worried…”

“I understand that, if you need to get out earlier you have my permission, alright” Kara thanked him “I have a surprise for you” he smiled, almost giggling.

“Really? What is it? Where?” James laughed and made her turn around to face her surprise. When Kara finally realized what was happening, a smile invaded her face.

“Cat!” she screamed while the other woman frowned, sensing a hug was coming.

Physical touch was definitely not her love language.

“Okay, Kiera, you can let go of me now” Cat taped her shoulder lightly but there was a smile on her face too “why are you so clingy?”

“When did you arrive? Why are you here? Are you staying?” the woman rolled her eyes and James snorted at the excitement “uh… sorry” Kara fixed her glasses.

“I’ll leave you ladies to it and check in the new covers, call me if you need anything” Olsen smiled and left.

The women headed to the couch, Kara feeling too excited to even stand still.

“As you know, I care about CatCo and I’m here to see if Olsen can do 10% of what I did” she commented, “which is almost an impossible job.”

“James is doing really well and everyone liked him” Kara complimented her friend.

“Whatever, I’m here because of your work, not his” she smiled “women must support women and men must run to reach us” Kara laughed.

“I missed you so much, I wish you could stay” Kara confessed shily.

“Let’s not get dramatic here, what I want to know more about this” Cat showed a magazine from the competition and threw it on the desk. The cover was about L-corp’s CEO affair with a CatCo apprentice reporter. The photo made their relationship evident, Lena had her hand on Kara’s waist and Kara touched her apparent belly “I always thought those khaki pants of yours and the button-up shirts said something about your sexuality” Kara blushed, scoffing at the call out.

“Er… I… uh, what do you want to know?” she cleared her throat, fidgeting her glass.

“Everything” Car winked “I remember when you two started seeing each other but I thought you were never going to notice that Lena liked you.”

“I… how?” Kara frowned “you already knew?”

“Kiera, if there’s one thing you are, that thing is oblivious” she shrugged “but let’s not get caught up in that. Lena Luthor is taken and pregnant. How did that happen?”

“Well… it’s complicated” Kara sighed “let’s say many things happened and Lena ended up suffering the consequences for other people’s decisions. I wanted it to be different, no, I wanted that it to have happened differently. Now we're just focusing on what’s to come.”

“Unintended pregnancy, then” she nodded “and now you’re going to be a mother.”

“What?” Kara almost choked.

“If you two are together I assume you’re raising the child too?” The woman arched her brow “You don’t fool me I see your eyes shining every time you hear her name” she smiled, but Kara didn’t “there’s something else, isn’t there?” no answer came from her “oh… she doesn’t know…”

“No, I mean… I don’t think so..” Kara sighed “she has seen me without glasses but… she didn’t say anything, I don’t get it.”

“I’m sure Lena had seen you without many things by now” Cat smirked and Kara looked away, nervous “have you considered that she may already know?”

“Yes, but if that’s the case then why… why not say anything? Why not ask me?” Kara sounded and looked confused. It was frustrating not knowing what to do or expect.

“Because it isn’t her business to speculate about somethings that you should say about your life” Cat explained “let me explain you something, Kiera, us, successful businesswomen, we learn to be discreet soon a to only care about what has to do with us and not other people secret’s. Lena isn’t the type to speculate and pry, I believe, and I’m certain that, while you don’t say anything, she isn’t going to bring it up. It’s your secret, not hers.”

“That makes sense” Kara sighed, wondering “and… what if she doesn’t know?”

“Do you want to keep this relationship?” she was direct “do you want to raise this child?” Kara nodded twice “then weigh the cons of keeping this secret. You don’t have to tell her, you’re not obliged to, but when she does find out, there is no point in hiding and pretending you didn’t know the consequences. Take accountability for your actions and be brave enough to make and follow your decisions. The world doesn't need more cowards and Lena certainly needs someone to keep her in the dark” the woman was harsh “I wouldn’t want to love someone that isn’t honest with me, but I’m incapable of having any relationships so let’s not take my word for it. You’re an adult, you have a promising career ahead of you, and is a strong, pretty woman, so why are you behaving like that?”

“I’m scared,” Kara murmured.

“Then be greater than your fear, isn’t Lena worth it?” Kara smiled sadly “don’t make that face, react! The world isn’t going to wait for you to act to keep spinning. Time flies and the more you wait, the more this mess is going to grow. Kiera, no one is going to make this decision for you. I’m not here to tell you what to do, only you know what’s best. But don’t expect to reach somewhere if you haven’t even moved.”

“You’re right” Kara took a deep breath and squirmed on the couch “I’m going to tell her, right after New Year’s Eve. This is killing me, thanks for the advice.”

“Don’t get used to it, it’s not happening again” Cat provoked, as usual, “now tell me about the child. I never thought Lena was going to be a mother one day.”

“Actually, it’s been a slow process and she still doesn’t know if she’s keeping our baby” she didn’t realize the plural pronoun “we already love Lizzie but the subject hasn't come up yet.”

“Lizzie” the woman repeated, adjusting the name to her lips “it's a nice name.”

“I know” Kara smiled, lovingly “she already kicked and…”

“I don’t care about that, I don’t like children” she interrupted “I want to know how the child happened.”

And so, Kara spent the whole morning talking and detailing the last months for Cat. It wasn’t a surprise that the old CatCo CEO knew Supergirl’s identity, she was always too smart to not notice certain details and, of course, whenever someone questioned her about it, Cat pretended she knew nothing about it. Many times Alex insisted she had to the DEO sign a security protocol but Cat always dodged it and never admitted she figured out the Girl of Steel’s identity on her own.

Kara told her about the daxamites and how she defeated them, about how Rhea impregnated her best friend with her child. Cat was surprised by that plot twist and understood Kara’s choice to not tell her secret right away better, however, didn’t understand why she disappeared from the Luthor’s life in the first two months and wanted to lecture her about it. The hours went by fast and soon they had to say goodbye. Cat repeated that she needed to be fair, with herself and her girlfriend, because neither of them deserved to suffer and end something as grand as their trust in one another.

Kara decided she was going to tell Lena on New Year’s Eve.

By lunchtime, Lena texted her saying she was feeling better and missing her already. As an answer, Kara flew out the window and picked up food from her favorite Chinese place and also some flowers. Kara didn’t say anything because she wanted to surprise her girlfriend and end that sickness once for all. She had never felt more decided, she wanted what was best for the woman she loved and her daughter, she wanted to be honest and let fate decide whether Lena would or wouldn’t understand her reasons to keep the secret.

Kara came in from the front door since she had to change clothes to go to the flower shop, to find a crystal clear living room, with no traces from the night before. She made her way to the bedroom to find Lena lying peacefully on the bed, naked belly hugging a pillow. Kara’s smile could slice her face. Their hearts were beating softly, Kara could hear Lena whisper loving words to her daughter and her eyes teared up.

That until her stomach roared and the blond couldn’t hold her laugh.

“Kara!” Lena sat down slowly, still feeling a little weak “how long were you standing there?”

“Less than ten minutes” Kara smiled and sat on the bed “are you feeling better?” she pulled her closer and kissed her hello “did you drink water?”

“Yes,” Lena smiled “I’m still feeling weak and a little breathy, but the sickness is gone and I’m hungry.”

“I heard Lizzie complain” she smirked “poor baby.”

“Yeah, feel sorry for her and forget about who’s carrying her every day” Lena dramatized, making Kara snort. She lied down again and pulled the pillow over her face, hiding her flushed cheeks.

“Someone is jealous” Kara pulled her closer again, changing the pillow for her shoulder as a hiding place.

“I’m not” she grumbled.

“Oh, you are.”

“You’re going to make me cry” Lena faced her but was taken back by a breathtaking kiss. They made out for a while, losing themselves in the touch, eager for more.

However, Lena’s stomach made itself heard again.

“Let’s feed this kid” Kara whispered, tracing her face with her thumb “she’s bossy just like you.”

“But this hunger is yours, it’s your fault” Lena joked but Kara’s body tensed “Lizzie, you agree with you mom, don’t you?” she caressed the skin, feeling a little kick in return “that’s my girl.”

“That’s not fair, of course, she is going to agree with you” Kara complained, “you’re always right.”

“Yeah, I always am” Lena kissed her again and they got up to get lunch and spent their time between conversations and laughs. Soon after, Kara went back to her work and Lena got ready to go to L-Corp, promising her girlfriend she would be back soon and they would meet at the Christmas party.

 

***

 

Christmas had finally arrived and all the stores, shopping, and roads were crowded. Everyone was running out of time to buy the last supper ingredients and gifts to put under the tree. Lena took the day off and the next one too, spending the whole afternoon at her girlfriend's apartment, putting up Christmas lights, baking pies for the night, and putting the gifts under the tree. Eliza was also there and prepared the food with joy, filling the house with delicious smells. Soon Alex, Winn, James, and Sam would arrive to get the party started.

Unlike other times, Lena felt she was on the cliff’s edge of emotion. She had never decorated a Christmas tree so Kara bought everything they needed and taught her girlfriend the fun of it. Lena’s mind wandered to the first Holiday she was going to spend with her daughter, telling her about Santa Claus, gifting her, and eating milk and cookies by the fireplace. Kara didn’t know but Lena felt very grateful to be a part of that gathering. After all, Lena knew almost nothing about Christmas. How would she teach her daughter about something she never experienced? she questioned herself. The adoption lawyer was going to contact next month and bring the paper that could take the person she loved the most forever, but at the moment, Lena didn’t want to think about it.

The sight of the glowing Christmas tree in the room with a star on top of it and colorful packages under it, made Lena smile. As a kid, Lena always wanted to have a family holiday, she would put colors on the house and make everything look pretty, but her parents were never about childish celebrations and Lex, though he didn’t have anything against it, didn’t really care. So she would admire the other mansions surrounded with lights from her bedroom window and silently wish she was a part of it. And now, there she was, surrounded with wonderful people, feeling the coziness from the busy kitchen and cheerful conversations. Agnes was feeling happy and her puppies, now a bit smarter and more independent, strolled clumsily around the apartment.

Alex was an endless wheel of anxiety since the day before, when she showed up unannounced at L-Corp saying she had texted Sam, inviting her for the Christmas party. Lena giggled at the desperation and assured her everything would be alright. As soon as the agent left her office to return to the DEO, Sam barged in, also a pile of nerves, saying Alex had invited her to Kara’s apartment gathering and she didn’t know what to answer. Lena rolled her eyes and laughed, sure those two were perfect for each other in every way. Lena calmed her down and convinced her to say yes to the invitation.

Ruby also clearly had some participation in it, since she didn’t stop teasing her mother about having a crush on aunt Alex.

Little by little, everything got ready. Eliza put the table with Alex’s help and Kara finished putting the lights up, while Lena tidied the living room, taking the trash out, and picking her and Kara’s outfit. They showered together and got ready together, Kara complimenting her body and looking every two minutes. As it was cold, Lena chose jeans’ overall, and sneakers, trying to look as casual as she could. She let her hair down and put on light makeup and was glad to take a picture when her girlfriend asked to register the pregnancy process.

Winn and James were the first to arrive, bringing wine and a chocolate chiffon pie. Eliza said hello with a big smile and thanked the treats, soon everyone was gathered in the living room, lively chatting. Winn didn’t leave Lena’s side for one minute, constantly asking how she was feeling and wanting to know more about Lizzie. It was different to receive this kind of attention, Lena didn’t know how to react or what to expect, she was never so scared for and those were Kara’s friends, not her. James was more distant, just answering questions directed to him and avoiding eye contact, which upset her a little because Lena knew he was important for her girlfriend.

“Do you think she’s coming?” Alex asked for the fifth time making Lena sigh.

“Of course she’s coming, calm down” she held her hand “it’s only ten-thirty.”

“Right,” Alex frowned, “it’s just that everyone arrived an hour ago already, and she…”

“Alex, trust me” Lena tried to be gentle “I’m sure she got caught up in something or Ruby is giving her some work.”

The doorbell rang and Lena heard Alex’s heart skip a beat. They looked at each other with a smile.

“Sorry, I’m late,” Sam said as soon as Alex got the door “I didn’t want to show up empty-handed but I also didn’t know what to bring, so I got a little bit of everything” she laughed nervously “I’m sorry.”

“Aunt Alex!” Ruby interrupted, hugging the woman “where are the puppies?”

“Behind the couch” Alex pointed and the girl ran to them “you shouldn’t have” she smiled and took the packages, along with Sam’s coat, and guided her in “Eliza cooked enough food for an army and the boys brought pie.”

“I’m a little out of place” Sam confessed, blushed “I don’t really know anyone here besides that pregnant lady” she pointed to Lena, making the redhead smile.

“They’re fun and talk too much, they’re going to love you” Alex took her hand and Sam smiled at the contact “follow me.”

Alex introduced Sam to her mother, who hugged the CFO tight and drowned her in compliments, exposing that her daughter wouldn’t stop talking about Ruby. Sam relaxed a little and chose to compliment the food’s delicious smell. After that, the pair headed to the living room, where Lena, Kara, and Winn shared a couch while James was sitting on an armchair. They were all talking and taking bites of the starters, letting the pregnant lady have all the grape juice. As soon as the group saw the two women approaching, they stopped the conversation and smiled at them.

“Guys, this is Samantha?” Each person said an awkward hello “Sam this is Winn, James, Kara, my sister who you probably already know because she is Lena’s shadow” they laughed “and this…” she pointed to the CEO “well, doesn’t matter.”

“Just say you love me, Alex” Lena teased “you can’t pretend anymore.”

“As I said, doesn’t matter” Alex shot back, grimacing on purpose “not all Danvers is in love with you, Lutessa.”

“I hope not” Sam commented and Winn had to suppress a high scream “she can’t have all for herself.”

“Easy there, tiger” Lena joked “I’m very glad for the Danvers I have, thank you.”

“Is this our cue to leave?” Winn asked and the group laughed.

“Welcome, Sam” Kara smiled with joy “where is Ruby?”

“If you see the puppies, you’re going to see her too” she answered and Alex guided them to two armchairs where they sat down.

“You’re CatCo’s CEO, right?” Sam asked James and he confirmed, rather proud “I heard the company is going through some financial problems and Cat Grant is selling it, how are you going to deal with this now?”

“We don’t know what’s going to happen yet, no one made a concrete offer yet and Cat is trying to close some deals with investors” he explained “I hope nothing dramatic happens. Edge showed interest in it” Lena frowned at the name.

“I hope he doesn’t get it,” she commented.

“Guys, it’s Christmas, let’s not talk about stocks and millionaire purchases” Winn interrupted “let’s play a game.”

“And what do you suggest?” Alex questioned.

“Association game” Kara answered. She and Winn spent hours deciding which game they should play that evening.

“Here’s how it works, we’re playing right to left, starting with James and ending with me” he explained, “each person has to write down a word or phrase they associate with each person here, then the person next to them has to guess which word matched which person, whoever guesses more correctly gets a point and so we go till we get tired really.”

Everyone got one pen and a piece of paper and spent quiet minutes wondering what to write down. Sam got some help from Kara to know more about James and Winn so she could finish her part. Once they were all ready, James turned to Sam and said his words.

“Okay, Sam” he scoffed, “Pizza, Star Wars, target shooting, photography, and quantum physics.”

The silence extended for a couple more moments until she finally answered.

“Pizza is Kara” the blond pretended to complain but couldn’t hide her smile “target shooting is Alex, photography I assume is you, now we have two nerds left and I’m confused” they laughed “but, knowing the friend I know, quantum physics is Lena” the CEO shot her hand up guilty and laughed” okay, my turn” she turned to Alex.

“Shoot.”

“Care, comprehension, friendship, determination, and adviser,” she said, taking everyone by surprise “and there’s an extra one but I’m leaving it for the end.”

“Right” Alex looked up and down everyone in the room “care is Lena, for sure” the woman smiled, embarrassed “friendship is Winn, comprehension is Kara, adviser is James and determination is you” she finished in a proud tone.

“Nice, Alex!” Winn exclaimed “I wouldn’t have gotten one right, those are difficult words, I’m considering rewriting mine now.”

“What was the extra word?” Alex turned back to Sam, who showed her a piece of paper “Eight-thirty session, January second, on me.”

“Applauses for Samantha Arias” Winn cheered making Lena snort “wow, there is no subtlety for lesbians.”

“Winn!” Kara’s stomach was hurting from laughing.

“That’s my girl” Lena nodded.

“That’s more than one word” Alex whispered to Sam.

“Can be more than one date too” Sam whispered back, getting the agent by surprise. But Lena laughed out loud and Kara grimaced, after all, super hearing was still a thing.

“No whispering, you can’t make a pregnant woman curious” Lena teased.

“I wish I could use that excuse” Winn complained “Alex, it’s your turn.”

“Right” she turned to Lena, still feeling a little oozy. She wasn’t expecting an invitation like that so soon “chatty, mom, seedy, hot, and stubborn.”

“Stubborn is James” Lena was direct. Winn failed trying not to laugh at James' face.

“Honesty is key” Sam poked, smiling.

“Okay, mom is Sam since I’m not in there” Lena stopped to think, one hand her belly and another fidgeting with the delicate gold chain around her neck “but I’m disappointed you put the ‘hot’ for yourself and not her.”

“Missed chance, Alex” Winn tagged along with the teasing.

“I have every Monday to do that, Lena, chill” she shot back.

“Ugh, Alex!” Kara complained, “can we just play without innuendos?”

“Okay, okay” Lena nodded “chatty could only be Kara but seedy is always going to be about her, so chatty is Winn” he pretended to be offended at that “my turn” she turned to him.

“Please have mercy on my poor peasant brain, Lena”

“Sarcasm, fear, presumption, tenderness and heart” she smirked.

“Playing dirty, but okay” he scoffed “sarcasm is Alex, obviously, fear is me and I’m not even going to deny that” they laughed “tenderness is Kara? But heat… Lena what kind of words are those?” he frowned “heat.... heat…” so Kara slightly touched his forearm “Kara!”

“Heat, sure” Alex provoked.

“We know what kind of heat you’re talking about” Sam joined in.

“Guilty as charged” Lena shrugged “there’s two left.”

“Tenderness in Sam, I suppose and presumption is my poor friend James” Olsen shrugged, guilty as charged as well “Kara, your turn.”

“Okay, I’m ready,” she smiled.

“Beer.”

“Alex!”

“Superman”

“James!”

“Beauty.”

“not you” Alex interrupted “okay, Winn.”

"Intelligent."

“Uh, that’s a tough one… both Sam and Lena are smart.”

“Do you want to hear the last one?” they nodded

“Boobs.”

“Lena!” they said together, making Alex crack and almost fall from her chair. James hid his face, trying not to cry laughing, Sam helped the redhead breathe again while Lena smiled and winked at her girlfriend.

“I have been exposed.” the CEO joked.

“Sorry to interrupt, but dinner is ready” Eliza appeared by the door with Ruby next to her “let’s eat and then exchange gifts, it’s almost midnight.”

They all got up and headed to the table, where the food looked as good as it smelled. The conversation flew lightly, Eliza talked about her new job and listened to Sam and Lena tell news about L-Corp, James and Kara talk about CatCo and Winn spoil Lena ll night saying he had got both her and Lizzie different gifts and ask to see the new ultrasound images since Kara refused to show him because of jealousy. Alex told her mom about her routine, how she was spending Mondays with Ruby, and the science fair situation, to which the girl joined in and told her all about it.

When the clock rang midnight, they hugged each other, wishing merry Christmas and exchanging kind words of happiness and prosperity. Eliza was proud to see her daughter grow more and more mature and was also very happy to see Lena more accepting of her pregnancy, she noticed how the woman was more patient and kind with herself. Eliza knew how hard it was for the CEO to deal with so much attention and affection now, so she hugged her tight and lightly kissed her belly, whispering a merry Christmas to Lizzie.

Gifts were exchanged and they all got excited. The number of packages almost didn't fit under the tree. Ruby was the one most spoiled, along with Lizzie, of course. Lena got even more things to put in the mess she had bought and hidden in her apartment’s office. Baby bottles, tiny overalls and shoes, diapers, and decoration items. Kara held her hand the whole time and helped her clean the happy tears that insisted on falling, grateful for having all those people in her life.

While some people said goodbye and others were still caught in conversations, Lena dragged her girlfriend to her room and asked her to wait a moment. She opened the bedside table and took out a small velvet black box. Kara studied the object, curious to know what it was.

“I know I already gave you a gift, but I wanted to give you this one in private” Lena confessed, nervous “it means the world to me to have you by my side and I want you to be sure of that, Kara. Since the beginning, you were comprehensive, even though we both made some mistakes along the way and I couldn’t be more grateful that you care about me and Lizzie.”

“I love you two, Lena” Kara kissed her softly “I really do love you.”

“That’s why I got you this” Lena opened the little box, taking off a soft golden chain, just like her own, but instead of a little girl, this had a small L carved in gold “so that you’ll always have seedy next to your heart, so you know you’re just as much her mother as I am.”

As she held the gift in her hand, Kara let a sob escape her throat and tears fell freely on her cheeks. She wasn’t expecting emotion that intense to hit her or to be considered a mom without Supergirl's uniform. Her heart was beating out of time, she knew Lena could hear it and she promised herself she was going to tell her the truth on New Year's Eve, once they were alone at home. Lena, seeing her girlfriend cry, pulled for a tight hug, and there they stayed until both hearts calmed down and they went back to the living room to say goodbye.

 

***

 

December 31 came and brought rain and freezing wind with it. The stores closed earlier and the streets were empty in the afternoon and most National City residents decided to spend the holiday out of town. Eliza had to go back to Midvale because she had already planned to spend new year’s eve at a friend’s house. Winn and James also had plans to go out, since neither of them had a lot of work that week, the news was minimal and not even Supergirl had a lot to do. Also, Winn was dying to talk about the girl he was seeing through James didn’t know why he was so mysterious about it. Alex spent the day with Sam and Ruby, who needed to help finish off her science fair project before schools returned and just wanted to
spend time with her new friend.

So, Kara and Lena had the afternoon free, enjoying it lying on the couch at Kara’s apartment watching cartoons and touching under the blanket. Paying attention to the screen was hard where there was an extremely turned-on woman next to you, not that Kara was complaining. Filled with laughter and distractions, the day went by and the night rose and both women went for a shower. Alex was going to pick them up since they were spending the evening at Sam’s place. It wasn’t going to be anything special but Sam had already ordered a complete dinner from her favorite Thai place and prepared her specialty, apple pie. Ruby’s favorite.

As amazing as it was, the kryptonian was anxious. All that was in her mind was: tell the truth. She had promised Cat and herself, she didn’t want to keep hiding it, it wasn’t fair. Kara rehearsed her lines and thought of every possible reaction, trying not to think only of the worst and get sad about it. Lena hadn’t said I love you yet, maybe she never would, Kara couldn’t know. And that threw her off a little, maybe a lot. What if she misunderstood it all? What if Lena wasn’t as much in love as she was?

What if it all went wrong?

Oh, Rao.

“Are you okay?” Kara asked her girlfriend, who looked uncomfortable in the car, pressing her finger on her belly “Lena?”

“Just feeling a little pain, but I’m fine” she sighed. Some fireworks exploded in the sky, indicating the year was about to end in an hour or so.

“Are you sure?” Kara reached for her hand “we can call doctor Cameron.”

“I’ll let you know if it gets worse.”

“After the fireworks, I want to tell you something” she murmured anxiously but Lena squeezed her hand lightly.

“You can tell me anything.”

The trio said hello to Sam and Ruby by the door and went straight to the kitchen, sitting around the table. Ruby watched the tv showing New York attentively, dreaming about participating and visiting her favorite city one day. The women talked about work, plans, and new L-Corp projects. Kara barely paid attention to the conversation, noticing how her girlfriend was chewing on her mouth and breathing heavily, tightening her grip on the water glass. If Lena didn’t get herself together, that glass was going to break in her hand. But more importantly, Kara could listen to her daughter’s heartbeat pounding fast like a warning that something was wrong. Very wrong.

The clock was still approaching midnight but there already were fireworks exploding outside, coloring the grey sky. Sam told them to go to the back porch and they all agreed. Alex followed the lead and Ruby hugged her waist, smiling and saying she couldn’t wait for the science fair. They certainly were a great team. On the corridor, Kara touched Lena’s arm and guided her the opposite way, seeing the CEO constantly caress the belly. Kara didn’t know why she was nervous anymore if it was because she was minutes away from telling the truth or the way Lena was acting. When she told Alex she was going to reveal her identity, Kara didn’t think anything would get in her way.

However, fate didn’t seem to agree to that.

“Lena, you’re not well,” Kara said worried “what are you feeling?”

“So much pain, Kara” Lena let her tears fall in desperation “Kara, it hurts so much” she sobbed, hugging her belly as if she was trying to protect it.

Fireworks reached the sky and the noise was deafening for someone with super hearing. Like Supergirl, but also like Lena and Seedy. The woman covered her ears and whimpered in pain.

Midnight.

The colorful explosion was beautiful, lighting up the cold rainy night and enchanting all that watching another passing of the year. But, the look on Lena’s green eyes made clear what she was feeling. Fear. Lena wailed, hiding her face on Kara’s shoulder, begging in tears to make the noise stop. Alex and Sam ran inside to find the kryptonian desperately trying to control her girlfriend. Lena cried and gripped hard on her shirt, repeating that it was hurting and she couldn’t breathe. Kara could feel in her skin the strength Lena was putting on her nail, that might actually leave a mark.

“Kara!” she begged again “It hurt!” M-my…” she sobbed, and Kara touched her belly where Lizzie was kicking in panic “Kara, make it stop!”

“Lena, take a deep breath” Sam held her from behind “are you feeling contractions?”

“Yes!”

“Alex, what do I do?” Kara turned to her sister and the redhead pulled them to the bathroom “Alex!”

“Keep her in here” Alex ordered “this kid’s super hearing can’t handle it and she’s going to end up having this baby right here. Sam, I need you to grab my bag in the kitchen, Ruby, close all the windows and doors, okay?” mother and daughter nodded and ran in opposite directions “Lena, you need to take a deep breath, okay?” she didn’t answer.

Kara sat down next to Lena on the floor and put her body over hers, feeling Lena’s skin get colder and shivering. She was sobbing and repeated ‘it hurts’ like a mantra. Sam ran back in and handled Alex the heavy bag.

“Take me out of here, please” she implored “Lizzie is in pain… s-she… Kara, please, I can’t… I can’t lose my daughter…”

“Shhh” Kara held her with care and kissed the head covered in sweat, “everything is going to be okay, I promise. We’re not losing our daughter” she repeated that phrase, knowing it was an assurance both for her and Lena.

Alex stood on the sink and changed the common lights for red ones, asking Sam to turn them on right away, Kara felt her strength slowly fade, the moment’s remains and tiredness weighed on her, just like she felt it happened to the woman in her arms. But her protection disappeared too and Lena’s immune system acted quickly and she screamed. The sound could break any glass on the house, it was desperate and shrill. It was her body's last show of strength, she shivered one last time. The hot tears burnt her pale face, her eyes were red and petrified, her hands still holding to Kara’s shirt so tightly it could tear it apart.

Her eyes grew tired and her skin got even colder, her arms slowly let go and her lips gained a strange purple color. Alex called her name but there was no answer, Lena was passed out. Sam quickly dialed for an ambulance but there was something in Kara’s blue eyes that showed something worse was happening.

 

When Kara looked down at her jeans, feeling something wet on it, her heart stopped beating.

Blood.

Lena’s white tan pant was stained with blood.

Chapter Text

At dangerous and panicking moments, the first defense mechanism your body activates is adrenaline. You feel as if you’re racing and your opponent is time, and time is a great competitor. The first reaction is to run, scream and take the first decision that comes to mind, even if it isn’t plausible or coherent. Madness often looks like the perfect ally at times like these and you are welcoming any help. However, adding every psychological and mental symptom, there are still the physical ones, and even though your brain is sending thousands of synapses, your body refuses to move. As if it was frozen in place.

Kara felt like that: petrified. The blood in her finger made her heart stop and she forgot how to breathe. It was like seeing Krypton exploding behind herself and her parents weaving from afar, saying goodbye to their only daughter, the only heir to a whole population. As much as she wanted to scream and cry, nothing came out of her throat, her eyes remained dry and her lips almost bled from the strength she was clenching them. Lena was still on her lap, fireworks still going on outside, people laughing on the streets while Kara was losing her world again. The anguish was eating her alive, tearing her apart like a prey devouring its hunt.

She was losing her best friend. She was losing her only daughter.

The red light lamps were still draining her energy, her powers faded and tiredness was limping her. Kara wanted to run away, to fly somewhere quieter and promise her girlfriend over and over that everything was going to be okay, that she would save them in time, that she would take the pain and fear from her eyes. She wanted to scream, to yell for help, to tell Lizzie not to give up, not to leave, because saying goodbye to her would be like death and Kara didn’t want to die. Not now. Not now that she had found her home, her family, and an entirely new reason to be alive. When she said she loved Lena, the words meant and weighted differently from all the other times she professed those words to other people. She loved Lena more than she could comprehend and her body ached to try to contain that love in an iron shape.

There wasn’t much to do at that moment, leaving the house was out of the question, the fireworks would harm them even more. But Kara wanted to act and having Lena’s bloody body on her was not helping. The fright was palpable in her crystal blue eyes. She held the woman she loved in her hands and repeated as many times as possible, she was going to take them out of there, they were going to be safe. She kissed every inch of her face, going from her eyes to her nose, cheeks, and finally her pale dry lips. Almost inaudibly, Kara began to pray. She prayed to Rao not to abandon her again, not to lose her family again, and to keep her daughter safe and sound. Lizzie was kryptonian, she would grow up and learn about her family, her planet, her grandparents, and her god.

She prayed and prayed and prayed until her throat was sure. Just wishing Rao would listen to it.

“Alex, what do I do?” Kara’s voice died “what do I do…”

“We have to keep her in here, it’s dangerous to go out” Alex was direct, she knew her sister was about to break down. Sam held tight to Ruby, waiting for more orders.

“The blood…” she dried the tears “sh-she… I… I need to do something…”

“It’s almost one in the morning and... Kara, what are you doing?” The agent asked, seeing the woman stand up, carrying Lena in her arms “Kara!”

“I can’t lose my family again, Alex!” there was a rage in her words “I’m not going to watch it all fall apart again, I won’t let it happen!”

“I know you’re scared and…”

“No!” Kara shouted “you have no idea what I’m feeling, you don’t know how much it’s hurting and how much I just want…” she sobbed “you have no idea…” Kara sighed, trying to regain control of herself “Sam, I need you to keep a secret.”

“Anything” she answered right away. Kara nodded and undid the first buttons of her shirt, revealing the superhero uniform underneath it “do whatever you need to do, just keep her safe, okay?” Sam smiled in understanding, with no questions to make.

“Call doctor Cameron and tell her we’re in the hospital” Alex turned to Sam, who went back to the kitchen, looking for the Luthor’s phone.

The redhead looked over one last time to her sister and was met with an insecure nod, but she understood it. It was her choice and doing nothing would only make her worse. Using her super speed, Kara went outside and flew away, not caring she was still using civilian clothes, not caring people might find out her secret identity, if they were going to ask about the woman in her arms or if the DEO would bench her for months because of her recklessness. Kara just wanted to save the two people she was holding. A few fireworks still ripped the dark blue sky but with less strength. Kara held the Luthor tight, thankful she was wearing a jacket and unconscious.

She did her best trying not to cry midair, she couldn’t fall apart now, she just couldn’t.

Kara landed quietly at the hospital's backdoor and took a deep breath, focusing on walking at human speed. She went in through the front door and screamed for help, getting a few curious and concerned patients in the waiting room. Two nurses ran to her with a stretch and asked her to place the body on top of it. Kara didn’t know what to say or answer, her brain her short-circuited and the words just wouldn’t come out.

“How many months is she in?”

“Seven, er… I mean, we just entered the seventh” Kara corrected herself, walking fast through the halls.

“Do you have her ID?”

“N-no… but her name is Lena… Luthor” the nurses exchanged a look and understood the gravity of the situation, after all, L-Corp was the hospital’s most important funder.

“Are you related to her? This area is restricted, only family is allowed.”

“I… I’m not…”

“She’s her wife” Cameron walked up beside them, wearing her white coat and tying her hair up. It was clear that she wasn’t on duty that night, given the fancy outfit “Ms. Danvers is her wife and I want her to have whatever access someone is allowed to have.”

“Okay,” the nurse answered. The doctor shot Kara a half-smile and she was never so grateful to see a doctor in her life.

“I need her measured pressure, an urgent ultrasound, and a room” Cameron went back to her doctor attitude, checking Lena’s vital signs thoroughly, they were slowly regaining life.

“Kara…” the hero almost jumped up as she heard her name weakly whispered “Kara…”

“I’m here” Kara held her hands, they were cold “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”

Her stretcher was rolled to a corner with many medical gadgets and ultrasound computers, the nurses worked fast.

“The monitors, I need the monitor on her womb” Cameron repeated “Lena, can you hear me?” She flashed a light on her green eyes and the woman blinked “Lena, I need you to answer me. Can you hear me?”

She nodded weakly.

“Stay with me, okay?”

Her shirt was cut open, revealing her stomach with some bruises and the pregnancy line. Kara observed every movement attentively, never letting go of her hand. She wasn’t even able to focus on their heartbeats. The Lutho slowly came back to herself, squirm under the machine and whimpering in pain as she tried to sit up. Her eyes went wide, revealing the fear hidden in them and tears began to stroll down.

“Don’t move, Miss Luthor” the nurse said “I need you to stay down.”

“Kara!” she yelled in despair, tightening her finger in hers “Kara, she…I-I’m…”

“Shh…” Kara caressed her face “we’re in the hospital, you’re going to be okay.”

“I… I can’t” she sobbed “I ca-can’t, Kara. I can’t lose my daughter…” her body writhed and ached, her cheeks were burning under the tears “I can’t…” she whispered, sobbing and trying to reach for Lizzie.

“Don’t move,” the woman repeated.

“Lena, we’re checking Lizzie’s vital signs. I need you to work with me and try to keep her calm” Cameron said, turning the machine on.

Soon the monitor lit up and loud rushed heartbeat sounds filled the room, making Lena cry in relief.

Lizzie was alive.

“Her heartbeats are accelerated but that’s a good sign” the doctor explained “I need an emergency transvaginal ultrasound and blood tests. Keep me posted on her blood pressure, and sugar levels, and heartbeat,” she said “it’s all we can do for now. Kara, I need you to step away for a moment and let us run the procedures, you can stay though, it’s important for Lena to feel safe and avoid as much stress as she can.”

Still, dizzy, Kara stayed next to Lena, praying in silence and trying not to hug her in the middle of that mess. The Luthor’s clothing was taken away and replaced by hospital clothes, her thighs were still stained in dried blood, just like her intimate parts and her lower stomach. Cameron did the best she could, asking Lena for every detail of her feelings now and before. While they talked, the nurses took her blood and checked the machines constantly, trying to move as fast as they could. Minutes went by in a blink of an eye.

But for Kara, it felt like an eternity. A long, painful eternity.

The doctor excused her herself and so did the nurses. Lena was still awake, but in shock, the only thing moving was her trembling lips. Once they were alone, they looked at each other. Green met blue. Lena sighed longly and crumbled, trying to drown out a painful wale that ripped through her throat. Lara sat beside her, pulling her in her arms and letting her grab her waist with whatever strength was left. The always so neat raven hair was now rumpled and sticky, Her eyes had a red line going down the black and blue shadow under it, to the pale cheeks.

Lena was broken, once again.

“Lena, I have your transvaginal results” Cameron walked into the room and smiled at the sight of the couple on the stretcher.

“Is Lizzie okay? Is… is she hurt? In pain?” her voice was hoarse.

"She's fine, just had a strong agitation due to the stressful situation” she explained “bleedings during the pregnancy can be normal, but for you, your pregnancy is almost ending so it’s extremely dangerous. The pan could cause contractions and having a premature baby isn’t the best choice here” both women paid attention, trying to keep calm “the lungs are the last organs to completely develop, if Lizzie were born now, we’d have to keep her at the neonatal ICU until she could breathe on her own. So, we were lucky.

“What happens now?” Kara asked.

“Due to this agitation, the mother is the one who got the worst of it, physically speaking” she continued “you had a serious bleeding, caused by a placenta movement and bruises on your cervix” Lena’s breath hitched, terrified “but now everything is under control, what really happened, was your placenta moved too much, but now we can monitor and take care of you, okay?” she nodded “I need you to stay at the hospital another day and, to be honest, I’m still concerned so I'll keep you here a while. You can bring your clothes, personal hygiene, notebook in case you want to distract yourself and you’re allowed to have one family visitor” she smiled calmly “you don’t have to worry, Lizzie is a strong girl, I never met a girl so strong as her. In other scenarios, the mother would have gone into labor. What I find strange is that she reacted in such an uncommon way, are you sure nothing else happened?” Lena looked over her girlfriend, who stood quiet.

“What she told you was exactly what happened” Kara answered for her.

“Right,” Cameron got up with Lena’s medical record in hand “there are two women here to see you, should I call them in?”

“I’ll do it” Kara volunteered and the doctor nodded, walking out.

Silence reigned until Kara created guts to speak again.

“Do you want me to call Sam in?” she asked and Lena seemed to hesitate, still holding her body tight, afraid to let go and the world might fall apart “I can go get whatever you need in your apartment” she murmured, gently stroking her back.

“Will you come back?” her voice was trembling “I can’t…”

“I will” Kara didn’t think twice “I’m never going to leave you, Lena. Never” she kissed her hair “while we’re here, I’m going to let James know about what happened and Alex can help me get your clothes and everything else. It won’t take long.

“Okay” Lena sighed “can you call Sam for me?”

“Of course, baby” she smiled and broke apart, immediately missing the physical touch.

As Kara left the room, she found Alex and Sam sitting in the waiting room, Ruby was lying on her mom’s shoulder. She let Sam know Lena was asking for her and they got up, letting RUby use all the seats as a bed and Alex’s jacket as a pillow. The door behind her closed and the weight of the last hours fell on the kryptonian back like mountains. And at the moment, she wasn’t a girl of steel anymore. Her human side screamed for help, for relief, for consolation. Once Alex got closer and pulled her for a hug, she heard a clear, painful sob escape her lips. Her body was shaking with fright as despair, her anguishes bleeding out of her eyes.

Kara never felt so afraid, she had never been so controlled by her emotions like now. It was like an ocean had been set free inside herself and everything was dragged by the tsunami. She remained strong when she needed to, gave Lena the shoulder she needed was going to keep needing for the time she stayed there. Lizzie was being monitored and so was her mother, both were going to be watched closely. As she stepped back from her sister, Alex held her with a warm face and kissed her cheeks. She wasn’t alone, she didn’t need to go through this alone. Kara’s hearing was more focused and refined, she could hear the CEO crying from her room and her heart broke again.

It was going to be a hard journey and her secret was going to have to wait for her daughter’s birth, after all, Lena couldn’t go through any more stress. It was a delicate, complex but right decision. It was a sacrifice Kara had to make for the woman she loved and for the daughter that needed safety and protection.

“Ask Lena to make a list of what she needs and we’re going to pick it up,” Alex said, “I’m going to let J’onn know and tell him Supergirl won’t be working, you have to let James know too, do you want me to do that for you?”

“No, that’s okay, just deal with the DEO, please,” she asked “I have to get myself some clothes too…”

“We’re with you in this okay?” Alex kissed her hands “You have to be strong and rested to give Lena and Lizzie the support they need right now. So I’m going to be here and can be with her when you need a break, food, and a shower. I’m sure Sam is going to say the same.”

“Thanks, Alex…” Kara sighed, the tiredness was winning the battle against her body.

“I love you, Kara” she smiled “more than anything in the world.”

“I love you too.”

 

***

 

The year certainly didn’t begin like they wanted to and was far from any expectations they had. After being transferred to a private room of the hospital, Lena tried to relax. An impossible job. Feeling every emotion emerge again, she asked Kara to lay with her and hold her tight. Kara did it without thinking twice. Contemplating the dark and hearing their heartbeats, Kara waited until her girlfriend fell asleep. The monitor was removed from her belly, the only sound coming from the room was Lena’s beating heart, but both of them were glad for their super hearing.

 

List in hands, Alex and her sister made their way to the Luthor’s apartment, getting her personal and work things, of course. Kara used the time to drop by her home and change clothes. She never felt so exhausted and not even the hot water seemed to make her muscles relax. She cried silently for long minutes, letting a little of her pain go down the drain. As she left, Kara was met by her sister’s warm brown eyes and open arms and give whatever comfort she needed. They returned to the hospital and so the agent let her sister try to get some sleep.

The doctor showed up again once the sun had risen, explaining that the blood tests were normal and now all she could do was rest as much as she could. Lena had to stay under observation and would probably be discharged the next day. Most time, Lena slept or stayed quiet, lost in her confusingly anguishing thoughts. Her nightmares came back, taking what remained of her energy to carry Lizzie for another three whole months. In her mind, a voice told her she was a coward, that she was failing the task of keeping her daughter safe and her luck wouldn’t last for long. And that made her heart sink down instead of beat up.

Her hands never left her stomach and her lips professed quiet words of love and tenderness for the little Luthor, her tears dried on the shirt of the blond woman by her side, who never left her place. Kara stayed with her every second of the day.

“Hey, can I come in?” a smiley redhead showed up by the door.

“Alex” Lena smiled back, leaving her notes aside and sitting up “of course you can come unless you’re only here to bother me.”

“It’s my role in this friendship, Luthor” she smirked “what would I do without you? What fun would that be?” they laughed.

“You’d do a lot without me, I bet” she answered.

“Yeah, but it would be no fun” Alex commented and sat on the bed “how are you feeling?”

“A bit sleepy, because of the meds, but better than before” she shrugged “I didn’t have any more bleedings and Lizzie is still strong.”

“She’s strong like her mother, determined,” she said, “and stubborn, probably.”

“Thanks for the kind remarks, Alex” Lena rolled her eyes “I thought you were with Sam. Where is she?”

“She went out to buy the last materials for Ruby’s science fair and the kid also wanted to check out a new store” Alex fidgeted, nervous “we also have our first date tomorrow and I don’t know… what to expect. God, I sound like a teenager” Lena snorted.

“It’s going to be fine and you’re probably going to get a much better bed than the one I and Kara have available” Lena teased, making Alex red with embarrassment.

“You didn’t… ew, I don’t even want to think it” she closed her eyes and menaced “don’t… don’t… even continue.”

“Of course we didn’t do anything, I can’t even move, so that’s why I’m saying enjoy it for me” Lena winked.

“You’re impossible, Lutessa” she laughed “soon you’ll be out of here and you can… wait, let’s change the subject. Kara is my little sister!”

“Your little sister is very good at what she does if you want to know…”

“Ugh, I didn’t want to know…” Alex grumbled, hiding her face in her hands “I need therapy.”

“Sam can take care of it for you tomorrow in a very effective way” Lena teased again but felt a twinge on her stomach.

“Are you feeling okay?” Alex got up to step closer “do you want me to call someone?”

“No, it was just a kick” Lena confessed, though still in pain “it still hurts when she moves.”

“That’s why you need to rest and not worry about anything, okay?” she nodded “Sam took Agnes to her place, Ruby is doing a great job babysitting them, and tomorrow I’m going to take her and the puppies to my apartment. James gave Kara a leave for as much as she needs to keep you company, help you and remind you you’re not alone. Even Winn is dying worried. We’re your family, Lena, all of us. We’re not leaving here without you.”

Nothing, the truth was she knew nothing about that word.

To be honest, the only memories she had of moments like this were erased or blurred by tragedies, abandonment, and fear. She never had enough time to enjoy the time. Life did her job to end any trace of hope that crawled on her soul ever since the accident happened, ever since she started blaming herself for every mistake people made around her. To hear Alex say firmly and sincerely that sentence was like breaking every concrete wall she had built around herself. Tears of gratitude fell from her eyes.

“Thank you, Alex” she murmured and felt the warm hand dry the stubborn tears on her cheek.

“You don’t have to thank me, we all love you and we all love you that seedy growing in you” she smiled “you know who’s coming to National City?”

“Who?” Lena cocked a brow the way she always did.

“Eliza. As soon as she heard what happened she took the first flight here” she said, “she told me she’s going to have a very serious conversation with your doctor if she doesn’t take good care of you two” they laughed.

“There was no need but I appreciate the concern” Lena dismissed, too emotional to process the information “where is Kara?” Alex giggled at the question

“Did you miss me?” the blond appeared by the door, bringing the light she always hands and smiling like someone who had just find a reason to live “sorry I’m late, I was finishing bringing your surprise.”

“What surprise? Kara you know I had not known what is happening” Lena complained, “what are you up to?”

“Well, I’ll get going” Alex kissed Lena’s forehead and Kara’s cheek “tomorrow I’ll tell you every sordid detail of my date just to remind you of what you can’t do for the next two weeks” provoked.

“I hate you” Lena answered and Kara just sighed.

“Do you want to change your shirt?” Kara offered while going through her girlfriend’s suit “I know you don’t like to look sloppy, even though you look beautiful wearing anything, or nothing, but I think you get my point and I also think I’m talking too much and…” she shut her mouth for a few seconds “I’m sorry.”

Lena laughed pulled Kara by her hands, kissing her quickly.

“Kara, what are you up to?” she arched a brow, making her even more nervous.

“A very special person is here to see you and I’m sure you’re going to like it” Kara explained vaguely “do you want to change clothes?”

“Kara…”

“Trust me, please” she pointed, which unarmed the CEO completely.

“Okay,” she rolled her eyes “help me stand up.”

Still not being able to move the same way as before, Kara held Lena under her arms and helped her up. She took off her shirt and stopped to admire the beauty lying on her girlfriend, which made Lena blush and cover her breasts with her hands. Kara got closer and hugged her tightly but carefully, sighing at the contact of skin and skin. They looked at each other with warmth, losing themselves in the moment. If felt so good to finally feel good.”

“Arms” Kara requested and put on the large shirt she had bought for Lena months ago. She picked a comfortable short, one that was yours and Lena had stolen from her drawer “hold on to my shoulders, okay?”

“I feel like a child” Lena mumbled, standing on one foot at a time while Kara put the shorts on her “I hate being too dependent.”

“It’s just a for a little while, love, I promise” Kara kissed her quick “let’s sit you down again and call your surprise.”

In a couple of minutes, Kara ran outside and talked excitedly to someone, asking them to come in. When Lena turned to look at the person entering her room, her eyes shone and smiling was automatic.

“Julie!” she exclaimed, “you… how did you know?”

“Did you really think I wouldn't come to surprise the most amazing pregnant lady in National City? After me, obviously” she smirked “and I couldn’t miss the opportunity to say I’m friend’s with Lena Luthor at the reception” they laughed.

“Call me if you need anything,” Kara said, kissing her girlfriend’s hair and letting herself out to give the two women more privacy “I love you” she whispered, making Lena smile.

Julie, with her huge pregnant stomach, sat beside her friend and asked for more space, which resulted in two very pregnant ladies on the same small hospital bed. As soon as they were comfortable, the woman pulled her in for a hug and Lena didn’t refuse the contact, crying as she felt the warmth of another person that cared about her. After calming down, Julie told her that Ramona wanted to be a part of that moment so they Facetimed her, turning that end of the day much lighter and fun.

Kara was right, she really needed that surprise.

 

***

 

A: Lena, can I call you?

A: I know it’s late and maybe you’re tired…

A: forget it, never mind.

L: What happened?

L: Can I call you?

A: Please…

The phone rang two seconds later, scaring Alex with the velocity of it. Theoretically, she shouldn’t be calling or asking things of Lena right now, especially because in a few minutes she was about the go on the first date after Maggie. And maybe that was why she needed to talk to someone. And Lena was her best option at the moment.

“Hey, Alex, what’s up?” Lena asked as soon as she picked up.

“Is Kara there?” she didn’t want her sister to listen to it was relieved when Lena told her she was out to buy some food “okay.”

“Should I assume this has something to do with your date?” Alex sighed but said nothing “I’ll take that as a yes. What happened?”

“I’m so nervous, very, very nervous and…” she took a deep breath, trying to ignore the urgency of tears. Fuck. It was happening again. The panic, the anxiety eating her inside out the desperation to escape” and… I, might… er, have drunk a little and now… fuck, Lena. I’m going to ruin everything!” Alex closed her eyes for a few seconds, her apartment was quiet and only the kitchen light was on.

“Alex, take a deep breath,” Lena said, using her most calming tone “It’s completely normal to feel nervous, believe me.

“Sam is going to notice and I… I should probably cancel it…”

“If it will make you feel better, then cancel it” Lena continued “but I know you and I know it will only make things worse tomorrow when you wake up and remember you let your fear get the best of you again, that your addiction kept you from enjoying a good thing,” she said “look, Alex… I know it’s been a while since we talked about Maggie and I can only imagine it’s not easy for you, but it still hurts you.”

“I just don’t want to ruin everything… as I did with Maggie” Alex cried off quietly, feeling stupid about it.

“Alex, you didn’t ruin anything. Misunderstandings and breakups happen every day with every type of couple” Lena kept the tender voice “Maggie and you had a beautiful story while it lasted, remember the good moments and keep them in your heart, but the bad ones are around to show you why it didn’t work out.”

“I never had another person besides her, it feels so weird to start all over again and it’s like…” she sighed “like I’m actually leaving our story behind.”

“I understand how you’re feeling and I know I’m not the best person to give out advice about relationships, family, or literally anything that has to do with personal life” Lena half smiled “but you and I are similar when it comes to this, do you remember when you told me to allow myself to feel?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, I’m asking you to do the same now, allow yourself” Alex smiled with the memory of that day in the pub months ago, “you told me I didn’t have to step out of my glass dome but I could let someone in. I’m not saying it’s easy but I can assure you it’s worth it. I never told you this, but maybe the time is now.

“Are you going to tell me you love me?” Alex provokes, knowing very well both of them preferred sarcastic lines than emotional conversations “I already know that, Lutessa, I’m just waiting for you to get down on one knee.”

“As much as I am in love with the Danvers, I’ll pass” Lena retorted “Kara is more than enough for me and I don’t want to get in my friend’s way, Sam can be a little scary when she wants to” she teased and Alex grumbled “what I was going to say is, that if now I'm actually enjoying my pregnancy without freaking out like my family has done, it’s because I had an unbearable redhead beside me reminded me I deserve good things, even if the whole world says the opposite. You deserve good things too, Alex.”

Alex sighed again and more tears burnt her cheeks. Her hands were shaking, her body was begging for more alcohol and her mouth went dry. She looked over to the bottle of scotch on the table, half full. She had drunk three doses which weren’t enough to get her drunk but enough to pull her to the edge of lacking control. She needed to take it back, she needed to relax and breathe deeply until every trembling nerve on her skin was hers again.

“I’m sorry…” she murmured, leaving Lena a bit confused as to why she was apologizing.

The Luthor sighed, assuming she was referring to the drinking.

“One day at a time” Lena answered “one struggle at a time. Put the bottle back on the cupboard, take a shower and take a deep breath. If you’re still afraid then, I can talk to Sam, she will understand” she waited while the other side was silent.

“That’s okay, I won’t cancel” Alex finally said “thanks, Lena. I shouldn’t have even called, you shouldn’t be worrying and I…”

“Don’t apologize, we’re friends, remember?” Lena smiled “I care about you and I’m proud of you.”

“And now you confess your undying love for me?”

“Never, Danvers.”

They hang up at the same time and Alex made her way to the bathroom, taking a long cold shower, trying to numb her skin. Since it was a movie date, the outfit was casual and comfortable, which she appreciated. She wasn’t ready for fancy restaurants or grand romantic things, hell, she didn't even want to get into a tight dress and heels. Alex glanced over to the mirror and smiled, walking out. Nothing that she was doing would erase her story with Maggie. They had loved each other, took care of each other and if there was one thing Alex learned from it was then they should kiss the girls they wanted to kiss. She was going to take every good moment with her and close that door for good, for her own well-being.

And she certainly wanted to kiss Samantha Arias.

The old town theatre, placed far away from the crowded streets and shopping malls, was practically empty, apart from old couples that went there every week and small friend groups. During all the years she lived in National City, Alex had only been there once and didn’t even watch a movie. In fact, she was chasing an alien thrice was the size that ran much faster than a normal human being. She remembered the shiny signs and how she thought about coming back with her sister one day. Kara love theatres, ever since her first year on Earth and was always excited about the smell of buttered popcorn, even though the noise of them popping used to scare her.

Alex paid the cabby and walked slowly to the entrance, finding the familiar figure waiting for her. However, something was different.

“Sam?”

There was no answer.

“Sam?” Alex tried again but the woman stood still, her eyes focused on something across the street but there was nothing there, her hands were closed in a tight fist. Alex noticed the same tone of red in her eyes as that day in the park “Sam, can you hear me?” she touched her arm lightly and she blinked.

“I-I’m… Alex!” Sam smiled as if nothing had happened “have you arrive for long?”

“No…” she frowned. Something was very wrong “is everything okay? You seemed… absent-minded.”

“Just a little tired, Ruby has been driving me crazy with the whole science fair thing, and L-Corp has been so busy these days’ she sighed “sorry about that, I didn’t want to come and just complain on our first date” she laughed nervously “not that I don’t want to, because I do want to watch this movie with you, and I…”

Alex rolled her eyes and put her lips on her, surprising Sam. Her hand held her face and Sam didn’t react. She wasn’t ready yet. But quickly something clicked and her body relaxed and all the tension bothering her vanished with a blink. Her hands went up the redhead’s jacket, stopping in her neck and pulling her body even closer. They broke it off but still standing close, and smiling shyly.

“Is this enough to show you I want it too?” Alex murmured.

“Totally” Sam kissed her again “I can get used to this” she laughed. Alex intertwined their hands.

“You better.”

During the session, Alex tried to ignore the concern about the weird thing that happened half an hour earlier. Sam had gone back to her normal state and was distracted eating popcorn and talking about the actors in the movie, smiling at her partner. It had been centuries since Alex had felt so good and so light, Arias made her go back to a distant time of her life, where falling in love looked easy. They took advantage of the almost empty room to kiss more times and laugh about how teenager-y that was and how good it felt to enjoy an evening like that. As soon as the movie ended they walked together to the park, hand still holding hand, and bought hot dogs from one of the stands.

“Fuck, this is so good!” Sam let a moan out as she tastes the sandwich. Alex blocked her stupid mind as fast as she could. Jesus Christ! she thought to herself “I can’t remember the last time I had something like this.”

“Some people enjoy the torture” Alex teased “not me though.”

“Someone is feeling funny today” Sam smiled, tracing her thumb on Alex’s mouth to clean some said “we’ll how long this posture lasts” she provoked, watching her breathing hitch.

“Someone is provocative today” Alex retorted, though still nervous like hell “it has been so long since I just stopped to sit at the park that just being here feels weird.”

“I know how you feel, ever since Ruby was born I’ve been living the eyes of a hurricane” she confessed, “I love her with all my heart but I would do almost anything for a break.”

“You know where to leave her when you need to” Alex smiled, sincere.

“I know, and I’m pretty sure would be happier than me about it” they laughed “she really likes you.”

“It’s mutual” she answered, finishing the hotdog and cleaning her mouth.

“And what would say about her mother?” Sam turned to her and fidgeted with her leather jacket, getting their faces closer “or are you here just for the daughter?”

“Just for the daughter, completely” she joked, making Sam laughed. But her breathing fastened as her eyes met hers and she looked down to her lips again “however I must admit her mother messes with me.”

“Hmm, yeah?” she murmured, kissing her deeply and pushing away “in what way?”

“In every way, possible” Alex was sincere again.

The next kiss was deeper and more urgent, both thirsty for the taste, Alex felt her body overheat in seconds and a small pulsation on her center grew, making her hands shake. The anxiety was still there, and so was the fear, the hesitation, the urge to run as far as possible. But everything felt easier when Sam was touching her in such a tender way. They enjoyed the rest of the evening by the lake, holding each other, both happy they took that step further.

 

***

 

Two days went by faster than Lena had thought, though she almost died of boredom at the hospital. Kara did everything to distract her, movies, board games, massages, and even read her some complex science articles, though Kara wasn't very interested in them. Krypton was a planet that admired and valued scientific progress, always developing new technologies to improve its citizen’s lives. When she was little, Kara began to learn advanced math at the age of four, visiting tons of labs with her aunt Astra - although she was more into the military area. Kara had many tutors, her classes varied from anatomy to linguistics. Her parents always valued the education she received, especially because she was the heir to their legacy.

By the end of the third day, doctor Cameron dropped by to discharge Lena and explained what she should do until their next consult, what should happen in the upcoming week. She wasn’t allowed to eat certain foods, or do heavy weight lifting or too much physical effort and she should not stay in the same position for too long. Sex was okay in a couple of days. The doctor also asked her to take a work break and to return little by little, avoiding any kind of stress, that being long tiring meetings or couple fights. Lizzie, for both mother’s relief, was fine. The placenta had moved a lot on New Year’s Eve night, almost causing a dangerous detachment. However, she was curing miraculously, literally, because there was no cure for what had happened to Lena.

But it was strangely cured and the doctor preferred to keep quiet about it. She didn’t want to raise her patient’s expectations and tell her she was out of the woods. Cameron handed her the exam results and explained the pills and medications Lena should take until the end of the month and asked Kara to keep an eye on any sign of pain or change. Lena also got the new ultrasound images, showing that Lizzie now weighed around 700 grams and had almost 35 cm and now, more than ever, she was more sensible to light, sound, and touch. The doctor also explained she should feel some numbness on her hands, wrists, and fingers, along with a little swelling. That was due to some nerve that was being pressured because of the baby’s growth.

Lena’s blood pressure was also under control, which excluded any chance of pre-eclampsia, just like her blood sugar levels ruled out any possibility of gestational diabetes.

Still worried about her girlfriend, Kara asked her to stay at her place until she felt safe being alone. It’s not like Lena didn’t enjoy the idea, but she also liked having her own space and didn’t want to cause any more embarrassment. They weren’t married and living together seemed like a far reality. For now, they were going to be together. They picked Agnes up at Alex’s house, alongside the puppies who destroyed one of her chairs and the living room carpet - Lena apologized dozens of times and promised to get her a new one but Alex refused.

And so routine ensued, a little more agitated now that Kara was going back to work in the mornings and the CEO slept in, spending the rest of her day next to her, helping her shower and watching her get better.

Lena still felt pain, though less frequently, and practically didn’t sleep at night. Her nightmares woke her in the middle of the night, covered in sweat, murmuring confused words, which worried the little Danvers. Also, there was no comfortable position for her now, her stomach weighed more and more and was bigger than ever. Many times she would get up in the middle night, make herself a cup of tea and sit on the couch, spending hours talking to Lizzie and singing her lullabies her biological mother used to sing to her. It was their private moment, one that Lena just wanted to make her daughter feel safe and show her she was not alone and not helpless. Thinking about what had happened days ago still freaked her out.

 

***

 

“May I know what you, lady, are doing here, Saturday afternoon, when you’re supposed to be resting?” Sam crossed her arms at the sight of Lena sitting in front of her L-Corp desk,

“I missed you too,” she retorted.

“Don’t change the subject” Sam exclaimed, “you still haven’t answered me.”

“Shouldn’t you be with Alex?” Lena asked, cocking a brow “by the way, you didn’t tell me how the date went.”

“I think she wants to tell you everything, first hand” she smiled “but I’m not saying anything until you answer me, don’t try stalling me” Sam sat in front of me “how are you feeling?”

“Exhausted, I can’t find one good position to sleep in” Lena sighed, lightly tracing her stomach with one finger “but there isn’t pain anymore, just a little discomfort when she kicks.”

“Which is completely normal, but you should try to rest and sleep in the afternoon” Sam pointed out “a little tip is to lie on your side and put one pillow between your legs, it helps with the back pain.”

“Noted.” Lena sighed “I’m here because my lawyer called and said he’s bringing in the adoption papers. Then I have to have a difficult conversation about that with… anyway, doesn’t matter” she hadn’t even told Sam who Lizzie’s other mother was and wasn't ready to do that “as much as I don’t like dealing with that paperwork now, I have to make a decision.”

“Whatever you decide, Lena” she reached for her hand and smiled tenderly, watching a lonely tear run down her face “I know it’s going to be better. Don’t forget that you’re already a great mother and Lizzie is always going to be grateful for what you’re doing now. Don’t blame or victimize yourself, just let your heart answer this okay?” Lena sobbed, still touching her belly.

“It… it’s so painful, Sam” she looked away. “I love her so much and just the idea of having to... God! I just wish… wish it was easier.

“I know” Sam spoke quietly “anything you need, I’ll be here for you, you can always count on me. You’ll never be alone.

“Thanks, Sam” she gave her half a smile, drying the tears on her sleeve “thanks for never giving up on me.”

“I would never.”

In no time, Lena found herself alone again, and let her girlfriend know she was going to drop by the DEO before heading home. She didn’t exactly say what she was going to do or why she was going to go to Alex’s workplace after L-Corp, she just said she needed to sign some papers and take some home, after all, she wasn’t returning to the company that week. Kara’s courage to bring the subject up was vanishing slowly, leaving her at the edge of a panic attack, and that scared her. Cameron had said over and over again that Lena shouldn’t be in distress or be put through any stressful situations. Lizzie needed to be okay and so did her mother.

The lawyer arrived on time, something that Lena couldn’t decide she was glad about. Their conversation lasted almost two hours and all details were thoroughly explained. Lena wouldn’t have any rights to contact the family and her daughter would grow up without knowing of her existence. It would be like she had never gotten pregnant. Lizzie would live with prepared parents to offer her the best of the best at everything and would do whatever she needed. As soon as she was born. a nurse would take her away, giving Lena only a few minutes to say goodbye if she wanted to. Which didn’t usually happen, as said by her lawyer. Once the adoption papers were signed, some options would be given to him and he would certainly choose the best family for the little Luthor, Lena had the right to back down at the last minute, if she wanted to, the laws were more favorable to the biological mother.

After questioning and understanding her doubts, Lena asked him to leave an envelope with all the information and documents she needed to sign. She would get back to him as soon as possible.

During her way to the DEO, Lena cried as if she had never shed a tear before. It wasn’t physical pain that hurt her, but the emotional ache of having her heart brutally rip off from her chest. Every agent there could notice how shaken up she was and none gave her the usual frightful look, in fact, there were flashes of comprehension on their faces. But she ignored that. Winn smiled tenderly as she walked in, pulling her in for an awkward hug and repeating how worried he was about her. Lena knew that because she had received a surprise visit from him at the hospital, she was glad to see him there, though they weren’t very close. Alex was down at the gym, training, and J’onn was also unavailable.

Lena went up the stairs quietly, taking a deep breath and feeling her legs get tired easily, having to stop midway a few times to stretch her back.

The cold air strolled by the empty hallway, giving an even more mysterious look. Being there, of her own free will, no cuffs on her wrists or agents behind her, felt bizarre. No one was guiding her to a room where she would testify about something that Lilian did and people just assumed she knew all about it. No, Lena was there because Alex trusted her. After all, Supergirl stood up for her more than once, making it clear that she wasn’t like her brother or anyone in her family. Even though J’onn still wasn’t completely comfortable standing next to her, he was starting to get used to it and even admitted the Luthor would be a great help at the labs once, since her intelligence outdid other human brains.

Lena took a deep breath.

"Supergirl?" She stepped into the medical area, where a stubborn hero was lying on one of the beds, yellow lights litten on top of her. When the blue of her eyes met hers, Lena’s heart skipped a beat “what happened?” she ignored her heart.

“Lena” she was met by a shiny smile “uh… I kind of… fought an alien bigger than me and… got some scratches out of it” Kara raised her arm and showed marks near her ribs. Those were not just some scratched, Lena thought to herself.

“I thought…" Lena frowned “I thought you couldn’t get hurt like that, but I did read something about guns made of metals that aren’t from this planet and aliens that are equipped with claws that can hurt other aliens.”

“It’s pretty much that.” Kara sighed. Lena could see a sad shadow overcome the kryptonian and silence reigned between them.

Supergirl sat on the bed, hissing with the pain of moving suddenly, but ignored it, focusing only on the woman in front of her, her hands hovering over her stomach. Kara always found that adorable. But she could see the tension between their bodies, there was fear, hesitation and Kara could see Lena open her mouth and shut it again, uncertain. So, not thinking too much about it, the hero took Lena by her hand and guided her to the bed, where she sat frightfully. Once their eyes met again, Supergirl noticed the trace of tears down her pale cheeks though a bit more lively than the night of the accident.

Once again, Supergirl sat on the mattress and hugged her tight, not caring about her identity. Lena threw her arms around her and hid her face on her shoulder, sobbing quietly and worrying Kara about what she was going there at the DEO. Neither of them dared to say a word the next minutes, in fact, the CEO was speechless. For the first time in her life, she was hugging the girl of steel, the city’s symbol, cousin with the man that was almost murdered by her insane brother. A Super, she thought to herself, A Super and a Luthor, how ironic it was that. What would Lex think if he could see it? What would her mother say if she knew the daughter she was pregnant with was kryptonian?

What had her life become?

Confusion and fright were civilians in her heart, and Lena just sighed, allowing her body to relax in that weird embrace. As they moved apart, Supergirl’s hand hovered over her belly and she looked at her, as if in a consent request. Lena gave her a weak smile and put her hands over hers, feeling Lizzie kick. And a thought occurred to her: a child always recognizes its parents. Julia said that the other day when they were visiting the twin and it stuck to her. Lizzie recognized her, just like she recognized Supergirl. Her mothers, she thought in silence, and her heart suddenly drowned in insurmountable sadness by that fact.

Gathered the last remains of her courage, Lena murmured:

“Ukiemiv'odh w’rrip, eh is’kah” the hero smiled at that, unable to hold back tears. She caressed the skin hidden under the shirt’s cloth and sighed.

“Ukiemiv'odh w’rrip, eh is’kah” Kara turned to her again “Doshai…”

“You don’t have to apologize” Lena whispered, happy to understand the little words she had studied “we’re going to be okay.”

“El Mayara?”

“Yes, stronger together” they smiled, aware that the pain wasn’t over but that was enough for now.

 

***

 

At the end of the day, Lena didn’t go back to the apartment and ignored every call on her phone. Her office at L-Corp was pitch dark and the sounds of cars, horns, and sirens were the only ones invading the room. Nothing had changed since she found out she was pregnant and lost. Her desk was still the same, her notebook, her papers, the sofa, and projects. However, her life, her heart, and her soul were completely different. Seven-month-ago Lena would never have believed the situation she was in now: drinking tea at eight pm instead of a good glass of scotch. Another important fact was: she wasn’t working. Lena couldn’t even remember what her routine was like before this mess.

She always valued control, organization, and precise script for the days she tried to live through, in case her mother didn’t hire someone to take her down and succeed in her plans. Something Lena knew Supergirl wouldn’t let happen. Her mind wandered back to the past when a frightened little girl tried to fit into new rules, perspectives and expectations. Lilian was rigid, severe, and never treated her with care, but her father, when he presented, tried to fill that void, though in a cold way. The same didn’t apply to her brother, Lex. The prodigy boy always had a special place in her heart, allowing her to participate in secret experiments in the lab in the backyard or telling her stories about discoveries of scientists from other times. Everything about him was easy, light, and passionate.

Lena never missed her brother like now.

Her phone rang one more time and she saw the tenth call from Kara go to voicemail. She felt bad about not picking up, for not telling her when she was going to be back, it wasn’t fair. Kara took care of everything she needed the past days, she didn’t go to work just to keep her company and show her that she wasn’t alone. Lena took a deep breath for the tenth time and texted her, aware she wasn’t able to utter a single word now. There were other notifications on the screen, messages from Alex, Sam, and even Eliza, which was a bit funny for her. Mrs. Danvers had shown up the day before Lena was discharged and spent some quality time with her, trying to calm her down about the disastrous event her life had become. Lena didn’t have enough words to thank her for it.

K: Is everything okay? I’m worried…

K: Can I come to you?

K: Please…

L: Of course.

L: The employee’s door is open, Come in from the back.

And so she waited. But her anxiety waited next to her.

The adoption papers were on her desk, staring at Lena while she took a sip of her tea and rested her back on the couch. She could almost hear her lawyer’s voice. She had read all of the documents more than once, memorizing every detail and weighing the pros and cons and, overall, granting some space to ideas. It was her decision, after all, and she had to make one. Lena had never felt so scared and never wished so much for more time to think or maybe a way to see the future. It would be easier, she thought. To see how her life turned out in two years or more if she would have cleared the Luthor name or would be rotting in a maximum-security prison with her brother, convicted by the same crimes that her family used as mantras. Where would Kara be then? Would she still be her friend? Would she remember the passionate nights, the movie afternoons, the hugs and times she genuinely believed in her?

Lena couldn’t tell, and thinking about it only doubled her anxiety, pushing her to an edge of a breakdown.

She was about to tell her girlfriend her final decision and could only hope for her support.

“Hey…” the sweet and calming voice echoed through the room. Kara didn’t waste any time and sat by her side, holding her hand “I was so worried, you didn’t answer any of my calls.”

“I’m sorry” Lena sighed nervously “I don’t… I needed some time alone.”

“Oh… I see” Kara’s face hung low and Lena was sure she was blaming herself for it “did I do something wrong?”

Touché.

“Of course not” she smiled, uselessly trying to keep calm “Kara…”

“Yeah?”

“There’s something I have to tell you and I need you to listen carefully and not interrupt me,” she asked, not sounding cold or distant. Kara frowned and her heart rushed.

“You can tell me anything” she answered, though scared. Lena nodded and took the last sip of tea, before turning to her again.

“Before any red cape hero showed up, smiling charmingly and saving damsels in distress, I had my own heroine” Lena’s voice trembled as she brought the subject up “a person that made me believe all human beings are powerful enough to save themselves. This last week, she was the only person I could think about and about how I couldn’t save her that day, just like I couldn’t move to help my own daughter” she sighed. Kara still didn’t understand what she was talking about but listened attentively “when I woke up in that hospital, the first thing I thought was: I lost her. I lost her and there’s nothing I can do about it. I was ready to deal with grief again, to blame myself and crawl back to the dark place in my soul where I hide ever since everything… changed” Lena’s eyes were focused on an empty spot on the table, never blinking or showing a glimpse of emotion “I was ready to say goodbye to another heroine in my life the same way I did to her…”

“Who, Lena?”

“My mother” she answered in a painful whisper, her lips seemed to shatter as she spoke the word with such intensity “we were visiting our family, she said, somewhere near the water and she was so green” her eyes were shining with tears, making Kara feel the urges of her own. Lena had never talked about her biological mother, she had never even acknowledged her existence “it wasn’t a very sunny day, it was cloudy, my mom said it was where magic was because it was the rain who made the green… so she went for a swim” she sobbed “and never went back…” Lena took a deep breath, avoiding any physical or emotional touch with her girlfriend “I was there. I was there with her on the beach when she got it and dived… I didn’t do anything. I didn’t run, I didn’t cry… I just stood there.”

“You were only four” Kara murmured, holding back the need to hold her hands. She knew that would scare her away.

“What kind of child doesn’t run to her mother or screams for help? I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t do anything, I just watched her die…” she sobbed, the tears staining her face “she… died and I didn’t do anything” Lena whispered “and then I was brought to the terrible family and spent my life fighting against their legacy and crimes and bad actions but I always knew, deep down, that I belonged to them” she admitted “I am a Luthor, just like Lilian, Lex, and Lionel. I deserved…”

“Lena…”

“Let me finish,” and so the blond nodded, drying her own tears “I thought I had accepted that burden and was going to have to deal with it forever, but then the fireworks happened, the pain, the despair and I saw myself on that beach again, unmoving, frozen in place and silent. I screamed for myself and was still petrified” she closed her eyes as if the scene was playing in her head “and that was when I realized I was doing nothing… again. I was there, present, but my body couldn’t react. That’s when I noticed someone looking at me and smiling… It was Lilian and she looked… proud, for the first time. Like she knew I was born to be part of something horrible I was finally receiving… the approval I wanted.”

Her crying got uglier for a brief moment but Lena put herself together, reaching for the papers on the table and giving them to her girlfriend. She had decided, she was going to tell her the truth and make the choice. Kara looked at her in confusion, not knowing what to do with the envelope in her hands. She looked for answers in Lena’s lost look and her heart sank with the suspicion of what was about to follow.

“I have something to show you,” she said, a knife could cut the air between them “I made my decision.”

“Are those?”

“yeah, the adoption papers” the sad look from Kara broke her heart. She looked completely shattered.

Lena swore she could hear her heart break into a million pieces inside her chest. She never hated the super hearing that much.

Kara took a deep breath, her hands were shaking and her senses were failing. She opened the envelope as though a death sentence, and I was what it felt like deep down. She wasn’t ready for it, she couldn’t read it and find out she was going to lose it all again. To know she would watch another part of herself leave and she couldn’t even say goodbye. But when she heard Lena tell her about her mother and the way she watched her die, Kara understood. More than that, Kara comprehended exactly what she felt, the guilty she fed ever since she was a child. Kara had watched her whole planet explode as her parents waved goodbye. She could still see their teary eyes and all she wanted to do then was break that pod and run to them.

Kara also had watched her parents die. And couldn’t do anything to save them.

“But Lena… they’re not signed” she frowned and the CEO smiled.

“Because I’m not going to sign them. Kara, I’m not going to stand still and do nothing, I’m not going to let Lilian feel proud for something that I’m… that I’m not” she was firm “Lizzie is going to stay with me. I’m her mother and no one is going to take that away from me. No one is going to take what’s mine again.”

Chapter Text

The eighth month came sooner than Lena had expected and soon a wave of despair began to emerge in her chest. She had taken a decision not long ago and she could still feel the ache and pain in her heart, she could still remember clearly how the relief was entrancing. But, a new type of fear began to walk next to her, like an invisible companion, a heavy burden to carry. Like a shadow. How did she come to that decision: How could she even think about being a mother if she didn’t even think of making a layette? How could she look at her daughter and remember she came close to putting her to adoption?

 

 

Lena didn’t know if she could forgive herself. At the same time, she craved having her daughter, she was afraid she wasn’t going to be good enough. To be the mother Lizzie needed and deserved.

 

 

Kara repeated to her over and over again, every night when she would wake up because of a bad dream or didn’t even go to sleep because sadness overcame her, that Lizzie would never judge her for her choice. That no matter what she did, she was always a good mom, that being for only nine months or a lifetime. Rhea was the cause of all her problems, she was responsible for that mess, for violating something so important to Lena. She had taken Lena’s right of choosing and crossed an unforgiving line. But, lucky for Lena, Rhea’s mistakes became good things, as painful as it was in the first months. And as little Luthor grew, her mothers became more mature and learned how to deal with the situation better.

 

 

But the layette situation still bothered the CEO, who used to have full control of every aspect of her life. After the New Year’s Incident, Eliza traveled to visit her daughter-in-law and help her with some tips. A few days later, she returned to Midvale with the promise to come back a week later. The woman didn’t want to miss any moment of her daughters’ and grandaughter’s life, though Lena didn’t know about it yet. In between the rush of work, Lena tried to think how she would figure out this issue. She called some decorators, joiners, designers, architects, and baby shops, but every day that passed things only turned more confusing and hard to decide.

 

During her free time, Lena would look for ideas for the nursery on Pinterest but that only made her feel even more lost. That app was like a rabbit hole, where you went in looking for something specific and ended up leaving with a designed and decorated house, a new lifestyle, and ten fitness recipes for the summer. It was impossible to move forward like that. Stress was taking over Lena’s body as her belly grew non-stop, tiring her even more and leaving her body swollen and unfit for her clothes. She had gained weight, almost six pounds and that made her cry in front of a mirror. Cameron checked and weighed her and explained it was completely normal and it would probably increase. No matter how much she gained, Lena had to focus on her well-being and the baby's. Lizzie wasn’t at risk anymore but avoiding stressful situations was still important.

 

Now the little girl was around forty centimeters tall. She had developed eyelashes, eyebrows and was sensitive to light and movements around her. The amniotic fluid weight continued to decrease, now being a total of 1 liter. Feeling out of breath was going to be normal now since the baby was begging to press her diaphragm. However, beginning at the 34th week, Lizzie would begin to turn upside down, fitting in between her mother’s hips bones, ready to start pushing, causing the first birth contractions. Something that Lena could barely wait for. In all honesty, being pregnant was something incredibly beautiful, but Lena was done with it. She just wanted her daughter to be born and allow her to fill even more whole. 

 

Lena and Kara were still trying to balance the dating life with work and social life. Sure, Lena had Sam’s help and her girlfriend had Alex, but now they both had to accept that they needed space and time. Alex and Sam seemed to have found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, it was impressive how the two of them got so well along and fit so perfectly in each other’s life. Though Ruby’s winter break ended, Alex still dropped by to visit her and spent the weekends with the mother and daughter. For the time being, neither Alex nor Sam admitted they were in a relationship, but they weren’t denying it either. The agent still felt she needed to come clean about her issues, about why her hands quivered so often, and why she couldn’t talk about certain themes. The same way Sam wanted to let the woman know her completely.

 

The Danvers sisters met up every day at the DEO, talking about their fear and expectations for the new year. Kara always talked about how hiding her identity was killing her inside but she was scared revealing it would physically harm her girlfriend. Alex tried her best to be honest with her sister, saying that it was better for the truth to come out before it was too late, but she also didn’t want Lena to put her under too much stress at the final stage of her pregnancy. It wasn’t like the CEO wasn’t already stressed though. Preparing a layette and deciding which type of birth she was going to have was already a roller-coaster of emotions.

 

Lena worked a partial half-time, although she hated it. She felt as if she was missing something she loved to do. But Lizzie was her priority now. Her apartment had become a war field, piles of diaper packages occupying every corner of it and her old office was turning to a deposit of baby clothes, bottles, and little toys. Lena avoided going in there because just the thought of a little girl sleeping in that room was enough to make her cry. Kara obviously noticed her girlfriend’s panic and wanted to do something to help her, but it was almost an impossible job since Lena was starting to get mad about everything. Especially when she felt she was unable to buy and decorate her own daughter’s nursery.

 

And so, the eighth month, though full of relief now that Lizzie was okay and wasn’t going to be put for adoption, was always filled with work and insecurities.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“How is Ruby feeling about tomorrow’s presentation?” Alex casually asked, popping two beers open and heading to the couch.

 

“She made me rehearse it with her at least three times a day this week” Sam answered with a laugh and moved to give Alex some space “I can’t even begin to thank you for the help…”

 

 

“Hey, you don’t need to thank me” she smiled “Ruby did most of the work, she just needed a little push.”

 

 

“I know she had trouble making friends” Sam sighed, upset, lingering with the bottle over her lips before taking a long gulp “I just want Ruby to be accepted for who she is and not have to change to fit in. But I don’t know what to do and that’s killing me…”

 

 

“It’s normal to feel like an outsider at that age, but soon she’ll find her crowd, with people that will love her without demanding her to change” Alex hugged the woman on her side “don’t feel guilty, you’re the best mom Ruby could have.”

 

 

“You think so?” Sam looked at her fondly.

 

 

“I’m sure of it” Alex was firm “she is going to be just as strong as you.”

 

 

“At the moment, I think all she wants is to be as badass as you” Sam retorted, making the agent laugh “it’s for Ruby to have someone more… intense when it comes to standing up for themselves. You’re a nice influence for her and I like the fact you’re around for us.”

 

 

Each word uttered sank deep into her heart and Alex didn’t know what to answer or feel. Alex never thought she was going to meet someone who would teach her a new concept to relationships because she never thought she would ever come to that. Ever since she accepted her sexuality, being with Maggie felt like the high point of her life. Maggie was an amazing woman with a sad and difficult past that she learned to get over. However, fate did its job and ended another cycle, and Alex thought she would never find another way to fill the void in her heart.

 

 

Sam looked at her intensely, eyes filled with tenderness, comprehension, and fondness. And so Alex understood how lucky she was to have her by her side.

 

 

“So…” Sam smirked “your sister is Supergirl.

 

 

“Yeah” Alex giggled “is… that a problem?”

 

 

“Of course not, I was just surprised by the quick New Year’s revelations” she commented, “truly, Kara is going to be an extremely super protective mom.”

 

 

“I have no doubts about that, when Lena told her she wasn’t going to give Lizzie up for adoption, she showed up at my apartment at five a.m, jumping up and down and cried non-stop for thirty minutes” they laughed “Kara has never been so happy like me.”

 

 

“Lena too” Sam smiled, placing the bottle on the desk “I thought she wasn’t going to go back on her decision, you know… it’s not easy to go through what she did and still have hope."

 

 

“Yeah, I believe not, but now we have to deal with a stressed, desperate pregnant lady” Alex joked, rolling her eyes “thank God, I’m not the other mom or her girlfriend."

 

 

“I’m very thankful you’re not the girlfriend” Sam teased, getting a malicious smile from the woman “it would be hard to accept you with her.”

 

 

“Jealous much?” Alex retorted, pulling Sam closer and placing her on her lap “you and Kara would make a great team break me and Lena up.”

 

 

“Well, I’m glad I don’t have to go to war for it” Sam tightened her hand around the red hair and closed the gap for an urgent kiss. Alex let her hands travel around her back, slowly going up under the shirt and tracing her spine.

 

 

Every single touch of her fingers caused shivers on her body, sending waves of heat to her center. That afternoon, they just want to enjoy their time together, because the rush of the week always dragged apart, to countless hours of work. They had few opportunities to go on dates but the next step wasn’t taken yet.

 

 

“Sam…” the redhead whispered her name, trying to maintain focus “I know… I know this may be a little early…”

 

 

“I don’t care” she cut it, taking her lips to her exposed neck, sucking on her pulse point. Alex wasn't going to make it like that.

 

 

“No… this is important” Alex murmured, almost lost “I want you to know that I like you… a lot.”

 

 

“Alex” Sam stopped what she was doing once she noticed Alex’s body tense under hears. Nervousness was never a good thing. Sam smiled tenderly and held her face in her hands, trying to show she cared too “I really, really like you.”

 

 

The exhaled.

 

 

“But I want you out of those clothes now” she commanded hoarsely and that was Alex’s perdition.

 

 

The room’s door hit the wall hard as they touched, tasted, and got lost in each other’s bodies. The clothes were left aside along the way up until the bed, where Alex laid on top of the woman and suppressed a moan as her center touched her thighs. The heat skyrocketed, leaving both women needy for relief. Alex held Sam’s hand down, over her head, and took over the situation, abusing her exposed neck.

 

 

“Where’s Ruby?” she panted between kisses.

 

 

“At a friend’s house” Sam almost moaned “Alex…”

 

 

The redhead continued to explore her body, going down to the shoulder and taking angelical care to show how important that moment was for her. Sam watched as she took one of her nipples on her mouth, sucking on it and pulling it between her teeth, driving Sam insane. She grabbed the red hair tight and released a guttural sound, closing her eyes to feel the growing sensation on her center better. While her nipples received that special attention, the other was taken by the agent's firmed hands, never taking her eyes off Sam.

 

 

“You’re delicious, Sam” Alex whispered, making her even more flustered “you are so beautiful.”

 

 

“Not as much as you” she whispered back

 

 

Alex traced her waist, staying her fingers with every drop of sweat, and slowly spread her legs, watching her get completely vulnerable. Her chest went up and down quickly as if she was carrying the weight of the world at that moment. The brown eyes hypnotized Alex, with the same sense of mystery and the red tone underneath it. Alex licked her way down to her center and dodged around it, kissing the inside of her thigh with the same care and caress. Her hot breathing caught Sam’s sex by surprise, making the woman squirm with anticipation.

 

 

“Alex, don’t tease me like that, please,” she asked nicely, sighing between heavy breaths.

 

 

Her hip went up as if begging for contact and Alex smiled at the sight.

 

 

She opened her folds, finding the wetness already dripping and her mouth watered. She licked it whole, feeling Sam’s taste take over her mouth. They moaned together. Her tongue discovered her pussy, slowly sucking on her clit and circling her entrance. With no time, Sam grabbed her hair again and the only noise was the sounds coming from her mouth. The feeling was indescribable and Alex was sure she was never going to forget that day.

 

 

“Oh, fuck… fuck, fuck” Sam panted, arching her back and siking the back of her head into the pillow.

 

 

Alex stopped her movements, listening the woman complain and squirm, to then sink in two fingers into her, going in slowly and letting the inner walls get used to the invasion. Sam was tight, hot, and incredibly savory. She went back to eating her out, this time faster and firmer, moving her fingers inside and out, masturbating her with need. The shy moans became screams of please as Sam moved on her mouth, losing herself in the feelings of it.

 

 

“Alex, fuck!” one of her legs was over the agent’s shoulder and she felt the climax coming “Alex, more, more…”

 

 

A third finger was added to the mix and Sam lost it. Her body shivered, all her cells running quickly inside her blood. Nothing coherent came out of her lips, her brain shut down. Alex felt her own wetness stream down her thighs, indicating she was close too. Sam was saying her name aloud, her body convulsing on the mattress and Alex knew she was never going to be able to leave that relationship. It was there, the moment of pure pleasure and euphoria that she found out it was worth it to love again.

 

 

And she was never so desperate to love one more time.

 

 

“Fuck, Alex” Sam sighed, still feeling her body tremble and sweat go down her neck. She closed her eyes, letting the emotions take over her completely.

 

As she turned to her side, Sam found Alex’s eyes lost on her, showing the warmth in her heart through them. Sam smiled, in love, and kissed her again, this time it was calm, but still intense, filled with a feeling not yet to be named. It was with that encounter of lips that Sam knew she was falling for the charms of that strong, decided, and terribly extraordinary woman. Although Sam noticed some fears and hesitations from Alex, she couldn’t judge her. She carried more in her soul than she should, a weight that maybe no one would ever be able to understand. However, Sam wanted to help her put them aside and fight whatever she had to fight next to her.

 

 

That was when she heard a quiet sob and her heart skipped a beat.

 

 

“Hey… what happened?” Sam asked worried, thinking she might have crossed a line. Or that Alex was not regretting what they did.

 

 

“Nothing… I… I’m sorry” Alex hid her shaking her. Her anxiety was eating her alive and the need to run and grab that bottle of beer left the table was immeasurable “I-I’m…”

 

 

“Alex, honey, what is it?” Sam took her hand and waited for her to calm down “you don’t need to tell me if you’re not comfortable with it. Was it anything that I said? Or that I… did?”

 

 

“God, no, Sam!” Alex kissed her desperately and pulled her closer ‘you’re perfect, simply amazing, but I… I’m really scared I’m going to ruin this” she admitted sadly “my last relationship broke me in a way… in a way that I almost…”

 

 

Alex suddenly lost her courage, she didn’t know how to put her pain out there. Sam raised her head to look at her and slowly traced her face with her thumb. They sighed together and Alex was able to continue. She told Sam about the way she figured out her sexuality, the way she had fallen in love with the cutest cop in the world, and how they both lost themselves to the soul-crushing feeling, leading to a proposal and many plans for an uncertain future. Alex teared up as she talked about her wish to be a mother and the way Sawyer denied her over and over, saying it wasn’t something she wanted and that Alex was enough for her.

 

 

Sam could see it clearly now, how that story had shattered the agent’s heart to a million pieces.

 

 

The venting ended when Alex confessed her alcohol problem, explaining the reason for her edging anxiety, for her hands always shaking and her dried mouth. Now her eyes didn’t get red anymore because she was avoiding any contact with drinks that could initiate the cycle again, but the rest of the symptoms were still there, clear as the day. And all Sam wanted to do was hide that woman falling apart in front of her, protecting her from the world and assuring her everything was going to be okay. Alex waited for Sam to reject her, for the scolding, for the end of that nameless relationship. She waited for anything bad to happen.

 

 

But it never did. Sam’s eyes never even hesitated as she told the story. She still looked at her the same.

 

 

Their lips met in a soft kiss as if it was the first time, Their bodies were now glued to each other. The words never came but fear wasn’t present anymore.

 

 

“Let me take care of you, Alex” Sam requested whispering and she nodded “make love to me again.”

 

 

Soon the comfortable silence was replaced with whimpers, kisses, touches, and smiled. Happiness fits both of them well.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Kara Danvers created a group

 

 

Kara Danvers added Winn.

 

 

Kara Danvers added James.

 

 

Kara Danvers added Alex.

 

 

Kara Danvers added Sam.

 

 

Kara Danvers added Eliza

 

 

Kara Danvers changed the group name to Operation Despicable Me.

 

 

J: I knew you wouldn’t be able to contain yourself.

 

 

K: Shut up, James.

 

 

W: I knew it too!

 

 

A: And no one is surprised.

 

 

K: Are you guys going to help me or judge me?

 

 

A: Judge.

 

 

K: MOM!

 

 

S: Alex, leave your sister alone

 

 

A: Whose side are you on?

 

 

W: yours, obviously…

 

 

E: Focus, people.

 

 

E: We need to join forces for Lena.

 

 

J: And what’s the plan?

 

 

J: Kara has been driving Snapper crazy with her anxiety.

 

 

S: Lena has been driving me crazy too.

 

 

W: I’m up for anything!

 

 

W: but it depends…

 

 

A: What do we already have?

 

 

K: Nothing?

 

 

E: I made a list of everything we need to buy and get.

 

 

J: Who is Supergirl near Eliza Danvers?

 

 

K: Hey!

 

 

J: Kara didn’t get organization from her…

 

 

W: Neither did Alex.

 

 

S: True.

 

 

A: Fuck off, Winn.

 

 

A: SAM!

 

 

E: Alex, language!

 

 

K: I’m hungry…

 

 

J: I’m shocked…

 

 

W: FOCUS!!!

 

 

Eliza Danvers sent a document

 

 

E: The tasks are divided by names and in order of importance.

 

 

E: each one of you will be responsible for one part.

 

 

A: Why did I end up with manual labor?

 

 

W: Because you’re not delicate.

 

 

K: You’re really not.

 

 

J: Look who’s speaking…

 

 

S: hey, she is delicate.

 

 

S: but only with people who deserve it.

 

 

A: IN YOUR FACE!

 

 

E: And there’s something else!

 

 

E: Kara?

 

 

K: WE HAVE UNIFORMS!

 

 

K: AND THEY’RE BEAUTIFUL!

 

 

Kara Danvers sent a picture

 

 

A: I’m not wearing that.

 

 

J: Me neither.

 

 

S: Oh, god…

 

 

W: I’M IN!

 

 

K: I love you, Winn!!

 

 

E: We’ll meet on Saturday after lunch.

 

 

 

***

 

 

The schoolyard that sunny morning was full and noisy. Many groups were spread around the yard, each organizing their projects, setting the decoration up, and asking the teachers for help. The day was taken solely for middle school science fair presentations, and so the place was a crowded mess. The groups were divided between the study team and the team responsible to check every piece of equipment to make the projects work, there was every kind of booths, from small and simple to big and fussy. Every kid puts in a lot of work and time to impress their parents and colleagues with their miraculous ideas.

 

 

Ruby was a pile of nerves, observing the other excited students talk to their friends, laughing and hugging their proud parents. Sam knew that look, the look that showed how much her little girl wanted to have friends her age to create group studies and go out and watch movies. And her motherly heart ached for not being able to do anything about it. But, lucky for her, Alex was there, standing next to her daughter to cheer her up, help and get some laughs out of her. Every time she saw the redhead poke the girl’s belly, hug her or make a ridiculous comment, she was sure everything was going to be okay. Sam wasn’t alone anymore, and neither was Ruby.

 

 

“Did you check the electrodes?” Alex asked over the crowd’s growing noise. Ruby nodded “hey, what is it?”

 

 

“I don’t think I should have done this project” the kid sighed “who’s going to watch it?” she looked around at the kids surrounded by their big families.

 

 

“I’m going to watch it” Ruby rolled her eyes at the cliche answer “okay, your mom is going to watch it, Lena, Kara, and the other parents are also going to come here.”

 

 

“What if I mess it up?” She asked, upset.

 

 

“Ruby, listen to me” Alex held the girl’s face and saw Sam walk to them from the corner of her eye “you are a very smart girl because your mom is one of the most amazing women I have ever met and you’re just like her. Don’t worry about messing up, everyone can make mistakes. The greatest scientists in the world have made stupid mistakes until they got things right, why should you get things right on the first try?”

 

 

“Are my girls nervous?” Sam smiled at the duo and pulled her daughter into her arms “everything is going to be fine, okay?” the girl nodded “no matter what you think, I’m really proud of you.”

 

 

“Thanks, mom.”

 

 

“Yeah, mom” Alex teased, receiving a glare for an answer “I also need moral support here.”

 

 

Sam pulled her close and kissed her quickly, laughing at the daughter’s disgusted face.

 

 

“Can you not do that next to me?” she complained and they laughed.

 

 

“I think she wants a kiss,” Alex murmured.

 

 

“She definitely wants a kiss” Sam agreed and when Ruby wasn’t expecting, they held her in a hug and kissed her cheeks.

 

 

“Ugh, get out of here!” she groaned.

 

 

“Traumatizing the girl so soon?” a familiar voice interrupted the moment.

 

 

“Aunt Lena!” Ruby ran to her, being involved in a tight, receptive hug.

 

 

“Did you think I wouldn’t come?” Lena smiled tenderly “We scientists support each other” she winked.

 

 

“And I’m here to spread the news the best junior scientist of National City is making her debut” Kara commented and was also attacked by the girl in a bear hug.

 

 

“Are you ready to witness the best presentation about the Daniell cell?” Alex poked Ruby and pointed to the table where all the equipment was set.

 

 

Sam, Kara, and Lena looked at each other and walked to the booth, waiting for Ruby to start her line. The girl took a few deep breaths and tried to ignore the sounds of other people talking loudly, trying to focus better. It was hard to be the new girl, in a different city and try to face a whole troubled year at a new school. She didn’t know anyone and, even if she knew someone, Ruby was never good at making friends. Most students found her weird, making too many questions about her family, her mom, and her life in Metropolis, but the truth was Ruby barely knew things about those subjects. She still remembers well the talk her mom gave her after she hit a boy on the shoulder on her first week. In her defense, he was wrong and she was angry. Angry because she just wanted to fit in and be left alone.

 

 

Soon the noise became white and her nerves found some comfort, and her explanation about one of the most intelligent discoveries in the world began. She talked about the electrodes, oxidation, and reduction, the cell’s features, the past discoveries and demonstrated there the reaction between zinc and copper on water. They were linked by wires, leading to a small lamp. As the lamp turned on, Ruby explained about the electric current and why it happened. Sam looked as if she was about to combust with pride. Alex barely needed to help the little scientist and was smiling the whole time, amazed that she was finally happy. Finally.

 

 

Kara and Lena applauded the girl and the CEO took her time to ask simple but smart questions. She knew how much effort Ruby had put into this and wanted to show her interest in the project.

 

 

The rest of the day was calm. The women visited the other booths and enjoyed the free time to talk and savor the moment. Since the revelation of Lizzie’s non-adoption, Lena tried her best to keep calm. She had decreased her work hours - not that she had much choice since Sma wouldn’t leave her alone if she stayed there late - she changed her diet of five times that month, with Alex’s and Supergirl’s help, after all that child needed some extra energy, and she also changed certain habits. She began to go to bed early, especially because she felt tired all the time, she stopped skipping meals, drinking alcohol, and using heels. A whole life changed because of a little girl.

 

 

Almost twenty-six years, changed in nine months. And no change was ever this worth it.

 

 

Suddenly, Alex felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and the red alert on the screen only indicated one thing: trouble. The DEO called and when she turned around, Kara had already excused herself to go to the bathroom. Lena and Ruby still chatted calmly, but another detail made her heart skip a beat: Sam wasn’t there. The next following events happened too quickly and, still, everything seemed as if it was in slow motion. A woman screaming. Blood. Panic. Parents getting their children, teachers helping the kids find their families, and all the booths abandoned in a matter of seconds. Chaos ensued and neither Kara nor Sam were there.

 

 

Instinctively, Lena placed a hand on her belly while the other held Ruby’s hand, like a mother ready for combat.

 

 

“Where’s my mom?” Ruby screamed among the crowd, trying to drag their bodies out at the same time.

 

 

“Kara is in the bathroom, what are we going to do?” Lena looked at the redhead with clear concern.

 

 

“J’onn, I need people here asap,” Alex said, putting on the listening wire, intertwining her fingers with Lena and pulling her to the other side “I don’t care if there are bigger problems, I need them now.”

 

 

Turn around and go west, two agents will be waiting for you on a black SUV.’

 

 

“Thank you,” Alex sighed “come with me, don’t let go of my hand, and Ruby, don’t let go of Lena’s hands. We can’t drift apart, okay?” the girl nodded, scared.

 

 

Outside the yard, things looked even worse, each family ran fast to their cars, leaving the area empty, making it look even more destroyed. Apparently, one guy had taken off the children and a desperate mother screamed for help. In a few seconds, the trio saw a red cape image on the sky, and no one needed a name to know who it was. Alex ignored her concerns as she delivered Lena and Ruby to agent Ramirez, who smiled politely and put them on the vehicle. Alex ran back to the epicenter of the chaos, listening to her sister ask for help to deal with the civilians and that was what Alex was going to do before getting the necessary weapons.

 

 

At the moment, no one knew the motivations behind the girl’s kidnapping, Winn quickly tried to recognize the man who was shooting anyone that would come closer, with a gun much more developed than any humane fire weapon. A meta-human.

 

 

‘He is the father of the child.’

 

 

“And can’t he figure this out in court?” Alex answered Winn back while moving the civilians away from danger.

 

 

‘Apparently, he lost custody because he didn’t pay the pension and there’s something else.’

 

 

“Shoot.”

 

 

He was missing since last November. The police were contacted by the justice department to arrest him because of the lack of payment, but his house was a mess and no one had heard about him. His name is Hugo and he used to work in a car company, none of his coworkers know what happened to him.

 

 

“And now he is a meta-human?” Supergirl said on the other side “where are these guns coming from? And why is his chest glowing?”

 

 

‘We’ll only know when you bring him here, alive, if possible.’

 

 

“Right” the sisters answered.

 

 

Supergirl tried to take him down tirelessly, but it had no effect. The girl, Zara was her name according to Winn, was still stuck in his arms, crying loudly and yelling for her mom, who was trying to talk her ex-husband down. Nothing was working and Kara couldn’t do her best because she would risk hurting the little girl. Still lost in a million plans to get closer to the man without messing things up, a black shadow distracted Kara and out of nowhere, Zara was taken from the metahuman arms and dropped off on top of a concrete billboard. The agents now aimed at the unfamiliar figure but nothing seemed to take them out. It was a black cape, Alex informed them through screams, a black uniform. The face was masked.

 

 

But the symbol on the chest was recognized by Supergirl, causing her heart to skip a beat. That person was kryptonian.

 

 

The man roared loudly, his breath smoking with anger and hate in his eyes. His chest glowed in a shade of yellow again and a bolt of lightning escaped from his torn shirt. Two agents were struck down and the other ran for shelter. Alex tried to get closer but he seemed to be capable of killing her only with fury. Hugo focused on the redhead and smirked. Kara swallowed dry. Winn screamed in her ear and J’onn tried to warn Alex but another surprise happened and the meta-human was thrown to the side like a rag doll, being dragged to the marked asphalt, showing the strength of the puncher. It was her, the woman in the black cape.

 

 

Hugo’s throat was positioned against the firm hands of the hero, or villain and his breath began to fail, and so were his senses. His chest glowed again but the woman’s body seemed to be invincible or immune to his powers. Her intense red eyes looked at him with more hate than she could handle and suddenly all bones of his hands were broken, making him scream in agony. A deafening yell.

 

 

“Let him go!” Supergirl landed behind them, her eyes shining with confusion and worry “we don’t need this, you don’t have to kill him” she said carefully

 

 

“Get out of here!” the dry, hoarse voice retorted with no hesitation “he deserves to die.”

 

 

“No, he deserved to pay for what he did” Kara insisted “his daughter is watching, and so is her mother, please, let me take him.”

 

 

“Too late” she smiled and Kara could see the red flash in her eyes shine brighter.

 

 

Her fist tightened around the neck until it could unbearable, the sound of bones breaking was audible for the superhero. Hugo smiled one last time and his slits glowed, hitting a lamppost that fell on top of Alex. The agent tried to run but she knew what was coming. She accepted her fate and closed her eyes to wait for the impact, but it never came. In a matter of seconds, Supergirl held Hugo in her arms, left behind, dead, and screamed as she witnessed her sister almost be hit by the huge metal cylinder. Pieces of it flew everywhere making Zara and her mother scream. The woman hit her daughter’s face in her body, they were both crying.

 

 

Alex opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was two ruby eyes staring at her with concern. There was a certain familiarity to them, something that Alex swore to know, they weren’t strange to her. The woman in the black cape was hovering over her body, almost completely lied over her and the lamppost never hit her, but broke apart. Alex was safe. That woman had saved her life.

 

 

They looked at each other again and the agents pointed their weapons. ready to attack. The DEO alarm had been activated when she showed up, indicating an unknown alien presence. But Alex could feel it in her chest that the woman just wasn’t any person. It couldn’t be.

 

 

“Sam?” Alex whispered, knowing only her sister would be able to hear.

 

 

“My name is Reign” the woman answered dryly and flew away, disappearing in the blue sky. Supergirl tried to go after her but she was faster than Kara had expected.

 

 

The symbol wouldn’t leave Kara’s mind and she spent the rest of the day at the DEO, next to Winn, working hard to figure out where Hugo had come from, why he had gone missing, and who was that mysterious hero.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

The last week of February, the eighth month was coming to an end and Lena had never felt so anxious. Lizzie was moving like never before, Lena’s feet were swollen every day, all her back hurt and none of her clothes fit anymore, leaving her with only dresses Kara had bought her a few days ago and a couple of leggings. Looking in the mirror was a broken habit now, Lena didn’t want to know how she looked or how big her belly was, she knew if she did, she would cry and fall apart. There was no longer a comfortable position to sleep in and she couldn’t lie down for too long, or stand up for too long, or stay sitting for too long. It was hell and the Luthor’s only wish was for her daughter to be born soon. The worst parts were her desires and appetite. Lena lost count of how many calories she was consuming per day, Alex did her best to assure Lena wouldn’t exaggerate, after all, she was still human, but with the CEO’s unstable mood, everything was stressful.

 

 

But on that Sunday morning, Kara had planned an unforgettable surprise for her. The little Danvers was barely able to sleep because of excitement. The black cape hero and her origins matter weren’t able to bring Kara down, although she was confused about what to feel. If that woman was kryptonian, why didn’t she say anything earlier? Why didn’t she look for Supergirl or Superman? Should Kara feel threatened or happy? And why had she saved her sister’s life and Kara had heard the name uttered by Alex. Sam. However, that option was ruled out once there was no scientific evidence to base that theory. Alex was still absent-minded but Kara decided to leave that aside because that Sunday was special.

 

When Lena turned around in bed, she found the right side empty and groaned low. Her girlfriend's warmth was something she had gotten used to on weekends and free days. They barely saw each other during the week, but Saturdays and Sundays became sacred. Lena heard the sound of puppies barking and plates being set on the table. The CEO smiled in relief and joy, it felt nice to wake up and know she wasn’t alone, that she didn’t have to face another day of crushing silence in her apartment. The warm feeling in her chest was there forever now, making her heart joyful and calmer.

 

“Good morning, baby girl” Lena caressed her belly, feeling a kick underneath her skin “it’s getting tight in there, huh?” she giggled “we still have a month ahead of her, so do me a favor and do your job and I’ll do mine” she joked, raising her shirt up until the breasts and looking at the elevation. Lena could still remember the first days, of how the pregnancy was practically invisible and how scared she was “I love you, Lizzie” she whispered, “soon we’ll see each other.”

 

“Good morning, girls” Kara walked into the dim room straight to the closed curtains, opening them just a little bit “did you sleep well?”

 

“Better than yesterday, but my feet are hurting again” Lena sighed, getting a tender kiss in return “wow, what’s with this loving treatment?” she cocked a brow, watching Kara serve her breakfast on the bed.

 

“It’s one of today’s surprises” she smiled, kissing her girlfriend again “and I brought everything you two like” she pointed out and Lena’s stomach roared.

 

 

“Lizzie isn’t polite when it comes to food” she laughed.

 

“I understand you, Seedy” Kara bent down and kissed the exposed stomach “and I love you for that.”

 

“Why so many surprises? You know I hate surprises” Lena complained and sighed, Agnes jumped onto the bed “hey, good morning…” she petted the soft ears, receiving cold licks on her hands “where are the others?”

 

“In the living room, Krypto destroyed another chair stand” Kara confessed and they laughed. Krypto and Leah were now three months old and three times more work, more destroyed furniture, shoes and three times more expensive. Not that money was an issue, but Lena was afraid she wasn’t going to be able to manage it all. During the last month, it was Kara who checked on everything two times a day to make sure it was all fine, to clean their mess a little, and feed them “what is it?”

 

Lena took a deep breath and her green eyes turned opaque.

 

“I don’t know if I can take care of them, they need attention and I’ve only been more tired and Lizzies is going to be born in a month” she murmured, upset “I couldn’t even try to buy the furniture for her nursery, nothing is ready yet.”

 

“Hey, look at me” Kara held her softly “do you trust me?” she nodded “then relax, only worry about finishing your breakfast, feeding Seedy well, and let me take care of the rest. Today is a day of surprises and you deserve all of them” Kara crawled to the other side of the bed “while you eat, I’m going to massage your feet.”

 

“What are the surprises?” Lena asked curiously. She might hate surprises but Kara never let her down.”

 

“If I tell you, it’s not a surprise” she smiled childishly and her girlfriend pouted in return, something that was becoming a habit, especially when she woke Kara at two a.m, wanting to eat bizarre foods.

 

“Now you know how I feel,” Lena mumbled.

 

“Okay, I’m going to tell you one of them, but only because you need to know,” Kara said and Lena shot a brow up, suspecting “I… I know that you blame yourself because you the beginning of the pregnancy, which was very scary and a mess and so you didn’t take any pictures and well… I-I’m… I hope I’m not crossing… er, any… uh, boundaries, so to speak, and if you don’t like it, I…”

 

“Kara, breathe” Lena called her attention and the blond obeyed, lying on her lap and feeling her girlfriend caress her hair. It was the only way she could relax enough not to ramble while speaking “better?”

 

“Uhum…” she sighed “I hired a photographer, she does pregnancy photoshoots, newborns, that kind of thing.”

 

“Right,” Lena said, uncertain.

 

“Are you mad at me?” Kara turned to her, blue met the green.

 

“Of course not, darling” she smiled tenderly “I just… I just feel pretty enough right now to take photos.”

 

And so, the kryptonian got up and pulled the other woman into her arms. That was a hard subject.

 

“You are the most beautiful woman in the world, Lena,” Kara said, sincere “I know my opinion is a little suspicious, or better, 100% suspicious, according to my sister” she rolled her eyes, Alex was always right “your body may not be in the standard for magazines, but I every time I get the front pages from CatCo’s competition, a lot of times there’s a photo os you, take being you walking on the street or at some L-Corp event. James helped me keep them all and believe me, there is not one negative word about your looks, much on the contrary” Kara kissed her forehead “the first opinion that matters is yours and yours only, then the ones from people who love and care about you. I love the way you always have your hand on your belly, or the way or pajamas can’t hide it anymore. You and Lizzie are beautiful together and I’m very proud of the mother you are, even if you don’t believe you’re to make it.”

 

“Thank you, you know most of this is because of you, right?” Kara held back tears from the confession. Keeping Lizzie and the consequences of that choice from weeks ago still left her speechless “thank you.”

 

“Anything for my two favorite people in the world” Agnes barked “okay, three favorites” they laughed.

 

“So… should I get ready?” Lena brought the subject back “I don’t even have clothes that fit me!”

 

“Okay, mama Luthor, I took care of that too” Kara kissed her with a smile “finish your breakfast, I’ll explain everything to you later.”

 

At nine o’clock sharp, the photographer knocked on their apartment. The doorman had let them know on the interphone and the few minutes until she got up already rose Lena’s nerves to a pile. The woman was of medium height, brown hair and eyes, she had an amicable smile and introduced herself as Hanna. She looked young and her clothes certainly showed style, Lena wondered where Kara knew her from. Introductions were done, the woman talked about her work, showing her a portfolio and her favorite photoshoots, she explained she could be hired for over a year, because most couples chose the entire deal, which included the pregnancy shoot, photos of the labor, newborn shoot, a monthly follow up or just the sixth month, smash the cake and the one year birthday. The CEO’s mouth fell open, speechless.

 

God, there were so many things! How could Lena even think about Lizzie completing one year when she couldn’t even picture her daughter as a newborn?

 

Listening to her girlfriend’s fast heartbeat, Kara intertwined their fingers and stroked her back with her thumb. It was the calm that Lena needed.

 

“What do you say?” Kara asked, “you don’t have to pick the whole deal now, you can take it with time.”

 

“Is it really common for people to close the whole deal?” she asked again and Hanna nodded “Okay, I’ve made my mind.”

 

She looked at Kara and smiled brightly.

 

“I’m going to go with the whole package and I’m willing to pay whatever price” she was firm “and I want to talk about the frames you put together, I need at least four of them.”

 

“As you wish, miss Luthor” the lady handed her the papers.

 

“Lena, call me Lena.”

 

Prepping took almost half an hour, while Hanna got the scenario ready, the make-up and hairdressing team arrived. Lena was taken to her room and got all the help she needed. Her hair was done, now falling into waves, like dominoes over her back and shoulders, her eyes were emphasized with the clean and simple make-up, intensifying every minor detail in her face. The clothes were on her bed, a fit-laced dress that would expose most of her pale skin.

 

As soon as she got ready, Kara took her to the bathroom, where Hanna was already waiting for her. The photoshoot would be done on the bathtub, filled with milk-looking water and floating flowers. The rest of the day went by with flashes, postures, and laughs, Kara did her best to make the atmosphere fun, comfortable, and calm. Kara knew the woman she loved and wanted every moment to be truly special. She owned it to Lena. The CEO saw the photos once the shoot and picked the ones she liked the most and the ones she wanted to turn to frames. Lena wanted Lizzie to have recollections of her mother’s pregnancy and for her to know how much she already loved her.

 

Hanna left the apartment by lunchtime and the couple ordered food, spending some hours on the couch, cuddling, and watching dumb movies.

 

Some hours later, Kara said she was going to go downstairs, pick up the last part of her surprise, which was actually a set of surprises. Lena took a deep breath and waited, enjoying the company of Agnes and the puppies. Almost twenty minutes passed until the doorbell rang and Lena frowned. Didn’t Kaar have a key? She thought to herself. Agnes barked, excited, the puppies already by the door, smelling underneath it and so Lena took a deep breath, expecting the worst, and opened the door, to find a whole team dressed in jeans overalls and yellow t-shirts. They were all there. Alex, Sam, Ruby, James, Winn, Eliza and Kara. All wearing the same clothes.

 

“I heard you were in need of a complete layette and a brand new nursery?” Kara asked, smiling largely, her blue eyes were shining.

 

“I heard a little Seedy is about to be born and we’re here to deliver her a surprise” Eliza continues, also smiling big.

 

“We’re Lizzie’s squad” Winn completed “and we came to make the best of the best.”

 

And so Lena felt her eyes tear up. She let her friends in told them to make themselves at home, but they weren’t there to pay her visit but to work, put in Alex’s words. One by one, they hugged Lena and told her kind words. Ruby ran to see the dogs, and Sam rolled her eyes, saying she would be screwed if her daughter wanted to take one home. Winn brought more baby clothes with cute sayings, Eliza held Lena tight again and took a huge list out of her pocket, making everyone follow her orders. Alex complained again once she heard she was the one who had to put the furniture together and Kara and Sam were responsible for the decoration.

 

“James” Lena looked at the guy in front of her, the only one who hadn't hugged her “I’m surprised you came.”

 

“You and Lizzie are important to Kara, so you’re important to me” he confessed, “though I want you to know that I’m here to help and I hope you’re well.”

 

“It’s enough for me” Lena nodded and they shook hands. Hugging wasn’t really comfortable for neither of them.

 

In a matter of four hours, Lena’s old office was undone and taken to another room. The apartment had many empty rooms, but the one next to Lena’s bedroom now had to belong to her daughter, not work. Kara painted all the walls, while Sam hung frames, selves, toys, and gluing cute adhesives Alex and Eliza put the cradle together, the soft net around it, some toys and technical details were also their responsibility. Winn and James were the team's manual labor because it would be weird for Kara to lift and carry everything on her own.

 

Due to Eliza’s order, Lena was not allowed to help, because of the avoidance of physical exercise, but she was responsible for checking the list, making opinions and complaints, bossing them around, and making them laugh at the demands.

 

“You’re my favorite mean girl” Kara whispered as she walked by her in the hallway.

 

“You’re my favorite minion” Lena whispered back.

 

 

***

 

 

 

Ninth month. Nothing, absolutely nothing changed. And Lena was at the brink of a nervous breakdown, again.

 

“We’re finally at the thirtieth nine weeks, shall we see how she looks?” Cameron said as her favorite couple walked into her office that afternoon.

 

“Shouldn’t she be about to come out? I don’t even feel contractions” Lena complained, lying on the stretcher and sighing.

 

“Lizzie is already in the right position, but since you chose natural labor, you’ll just have to wait for her to start pushing” the doctor explained “it’s normal to take a while, but if it doesn’t start until next week, I’m going to have to schedule a c-section. It’s not good for her to stay in there for too long.”

 

“Do you think there’s something wrong?” Kara asked, concerned, knowing her girlfriend was also asking the same question in her head.

 

“Don’t worry, Lizzie is fine,” Cameron smiled “she weighs about four and a half pounds and is almost fifty centimeters, her lungs are fully formed now and the bones are completely tied together and that will help her passage through the vagina. As the days go by, you will feel more discomfort and the contractions will start strong, only increasing with time, so I have to be thoroughly updated, and I’m counting on you for it” she explained, “this is our second consult in a week and we’ll keep that up.”

 

“I can’t take it anymore, I can barely breathe without tiring myself” Lena complained “is there anything I can do to speed up the process?”

 

“I’m going to give you a list of simple exercises that help your pelvic muscles and some foods that encourage birth” she answered “but don’t worry, there’s no problem waiting until next week. The doctors usually count the weeks from the last period just to make a pattern and accompany the pregnancy better, but the usual is for the birth to happen between 39 and 41 weeks. 41 weeks babies are called mature, and 42 are postmature. However, Lizzie changed positions on the thirtieth four weeks, which shows she shouldn’t take long” Cameron handed the list to Kara who almost choked at the size of it.

 

“That’s a lot” Kara showed it to Lena “what is this hormone injection?”

 

“It’s for mothers who really want to speed the natural birth, but I don’t think we should come to that” the couple agreed “I’m going to do a touch exam now, it’s a little uncomfortable, just take a deep breath and relax okay? If you get nervous it might bother you more.”

 

Lena nodded and let the doctor do what had to be done. It didn’t hurt, but it was weird.

 

“And what about labor, what should I do when the time comes? Lena questioned, “are you going to be there with me?”

 

“I’m going to be present the whole time and I'll make sure all your wishes are followed, you chose the hospital's natural childbirth procedure so you’ll have more freedom as to what position you want to give birth in, when to breastfeed her and when to hold the baby” Cameron explained calmly, Lena was always thankful for her never-ending patience “Kara will be allowed to participate, if you want to, and I recommend she does and once the birth is over, the nurses will take you to your room and take Lizzie to routine exams. All you have to do is tell me once the contractions get too strong. Here is a little chart to know when to worry, if the pain reaches or goes over seven, you let me know, okay?”

 

“Right” she took a deep breath and looked over to the computer screen, where Lizzie was showing as a black and white shadow “I’m really anxious and it's killing me.”

 

“That is completely normal, time does seem to go by slower” Cameron let Lena go to the bathroom to changed and found herself alone with Kara, who was still quiet “now is the time to get into sex toys, if you want to write it down on the list” she joked, seeing the blond go as red as a tomato.

 

“Uh… o-okay… you think… will it help?” Kara thought she was going to die of embarrassment “I don’t.... don’t want to hurt the baby or Lena…”

 

“Like I said, take it slow and let her lead the rhythm that’s best for her” the doctor was serious and Kara nodded, feeling more and more like hiding her face.

 

“What?” she noticed the doctor staring at her.

 

“There’s something I’d like to talk to you quickly before Lena comes back” Kara’s body tensed as the doctor’s serious tone took over “I’m not trying to invade your private life, but being Supergirl and being a mother are two draining jobs.”

 

Kara’s eyes went wide and all the blood in her face disappeared.

 

Oh, Rao.

 

“I… I don’t… what are you talking about?”

 

“That night, the New Year’s, I caught a glimpse of your suit underneath your shirt, and don’t worry it’s none of my business” Cameron tried to calm her down, “but I worry about Lena. Since that night, I started to notice some differences between Lizzie and the other babies, she is special and now I know why. Lizzie is your biological daughter somehow, some way that I can’t explain, right?

 

“Yes… I’m sorry…” her head hung down.

 

“You don’t owe me any apologies, this is about your girlfriend” she pointed to the bathroom door away from there “I don’t know if she knows or not, but if she doesn’t, you should tell her. Kara, I clearly remember our first consultation, the way Lena looked broken and didn’t even want to glance at the computer screen, refusing her own daughter. Don’t make her feel like that again, look at how far you’ve come” Cameron held the woman’s hands and smiled “think about it, okay?”

 

Kara nodded and a few moments later, Lena walked back in.

 

“Good luck,” Cameron wished as a goodbye.

 

 

***

 

 

The sex marathon began the very same day, Lena being too desperate and anxious to wait. It’s not like Kara would complain, but she was definitely grateful for being kryptonian, otherwise, she would have already passed out from tiredness. She began sleeping every night at Lena’s place, helping her with the dogs, with her diet, and trying not to go insane with her personal anxiety. Lizzie seemed to refuse to be born or she just wanted to drive her moms crazy. Neither of them knew what the answer was but they couldn’t take it.

 

The fortieth first week started in a rush. Sam and Alex were dealing with double the amount of work, since the CEO was now and maternity leave was so was Supergirl, though the DEO didn’t think she would ever need one. Winn was almost moving to Lena’s apartment, wanting to get to know Lizzie as soon as she was born. But James kept his friend under control, doing his best to distract him with movies, star wars, and a lot of popcorn. It was like everyone’s life was changing because of Lena, even Eliza stayed in National City, sleeping at Alex’s place and not making her very happy about it.

 

“I have something for us” Kara murmured in the middle of a make-out session, knowing very well where it was leading them “Lena…”

 

The woman stopped abusing her girlfriend’s neck and turned to her, the green eyes covered by a dilated black pupil. Her naked body was already covered in sweat from previous orgasms but Lena was insatiable.

 

“And what would that be?” she asked hoarsely. Kara got up and walked, naked as the day she was born, to the closet, feeling Lena’s eyes devour her body. She took a box out of one drawer and got back to bed.

 

“I, uh… I don’t…” she sighed, fixing her mess of hair with a hand “Sam helped me and I really don’t want to remember that fact, but… the doctor said… it could help and I… uh…”

 

“Just show me what it is,” Lena asked and Kara took a black, cylinder-shaped toy out of the box. Lena’s body immediately reacted just at the thought of her girlfriend wearing that.

 

“If you don’t want you, I can…”

 

Lena shut her up with an intense kiss and that was the best answer Kara could get. The blond got on her knees on the mattress and put on the toy, feeling the other side of the toy touch her clit. She whimpered with anticipation and took a deep breath. Lena’s look could tear her apart now. Kara knew how desperate she was, how turned on she was. They kissed with urgency, losing themselves in the feeling of intertwined mouths and pressing breasts. The room heated, and they felt it in their skin, impregnating the walls with the smell of sex. Putting her girlfriend on her lap, since that was still the most comfortable position for her, she began applying pressure to her clit, moving in circles and feeling the liquid run down her fingers.

 

“Kara…” she whimpered, moving her hips, feeling the strap on her thigh “Ka-Kara… please…”

 

“I know, baby” Kara whispered, kissing her neck and down to her nipples, sucking and lightly biting them “bent down for me.”

 

Lena nodded and changed positions, going on fours, fully exposing herself to her girlfriend. She held on to the bedpost, spread her legs, and waited for what it felt like forever. She could feel her center pulsing with desire.

 

“If it hurts, tell me and I’ll stop” Kara whispered and she nodded.

 

The woman kissed her back, tracing her spine down and again exploring her folds with her fingers, lubricating the toy with Lena’s natural lubricant. She placed her hand on her lower back and so fit the long, thick, delicious toy in, making Lena moan loudly with pleasure. Kara waited until her inner walls were used to the feeling, also letting a guttural sound out as the toy rubbed on her own center.

 

“Fuck, that’s so good” Lena whimpered and suspired.

 

Moving her hips slowly, Kara went back to kissing her shoulders and pulled her hair back, making her arch her neck. Lena pushed her hips back, deepening the invasion, they were both shaking, out of breath. Soon they fell into a rhythm, Kara began moving in and out, carefully but firm, making sure she wasn’t hurting Lena. Lena, on the other hand, knew she wasn’t going to last long, all her senses were sharpened and at the same time, her brain didn’t seem to even be working. She let out one moan, two, three times, Kara now going in deep into her, encouraging the sounds that were music to her ears.

 

“More, more, more, please… Kara!” her hands weakened and so her whole body convulsed. She let out her name one last time and felt her girlfriend's hands holding her, making her she didn’t fall straight to the mattress

 

It felt amazing, a whole new sensation, and completely overwhelming.

 

“It’s okay, I got you” Kara whispered, still buried inside her.

 

A few minutes passed, Lena just trying to keep her sense of reality and catch a breath. Once their eyes met again, Kara knew she was doomed.

 

“I love you, Lena Luthor” she kissed her cheeks “I love you two, so much” her fingers went up and down Lena’s belly.

 

“Kara, I want you here” Lena whispered, hesitantly, still high from the last climax. She knew she might be crossing a lime, maybe it was too soon, but she wanted to use that moment of bravery. She would only regret the mistake tomorrow “I want you here every day, I don’t want you to love on Monday. I want you here with me…”

 

Kara hugged her tight and sighed, happy.

 

“I’ll stay, for as long as you’ll want me.”

 

Yeah, maybe it wasn’t a mistake.

 

 

***

 

 

“Lena asked me to move in with her” Kara spit the words that Tuesday afternoon. Three days ago, Kara had said yes but only now things got clearer in her head.

 

She had said yes.

 

Oh, Rao!

 

“Is this why you took me out of work?” Alex asked, frowning and throwing herself on top of the bed, placed on Lena’s guest room “what’s wrong then?”

 

“She doesn’t know who I am, how am I going to live here and hide Supergirl?” she stated the obvious.

 

“Tell her the truth.”

 

“Yeah, I’m going to do that today” she was firm “Lena is going to be back in a few minutes and I’m going to tell her.”

 

“Wow, hold up, Romeo” Alex interrupted “are just going to say it out of nowhere?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Okay, okay… right” she sighed “do you think she’ll have some super reaction?”

 

“Honestly, I don’t know, but I can’t handle this anymore” Kara mumbled “I have to take this weight off me, I only waited this long because I was scared of more serious consequences, but now… there’s no reason for me to hide. I’m going to tell Lena I’m Supergirl.

 

That’s when the door room opened suddenly and the sisters turned over, finding a red-eyed Lena, face stained with tears and dress stained with blood. Her hands were holding the wet clothes and Kara got up fast, not knowing how much she had heard, it wasn’t supposed to be like that. The truth wasn’t supposed to be told like that.

 

Her water had broken. Lizzie was coming. And her world had fallen apart.

Chapter Text

 

Kara Danvers is Supergirl.

 

Kara, her sweet and adorable Kara. The one who said she loved her, who believed and trusted her.

 

So it was true.

 

How could Lena be so easily deceived by her own heart? She knew, deep down she knew. The same blue eye, the same golden hair, the same scar, and the same smile. But sometimes your mind does crazy things to protect you from excruciating pain. It was a coincidence, a simple coincidence. A lot of people are blond with blue eyes, like a lot. But, Lena wasn’t stupid. Her suspicion had begun a while ago.

 

When Agnes recognized her without even meeting the hero. The same tastes, the same habits, the same care, even though Supergirl kept a distant, respectful distance from her. It wasn’t just that. They both had the same warmth, the same that Lizzie had. And the necklace, the one Lena gave to Kara on Christmas and was around the girl of steel’s neck. Those facts became more and more clear, but the truth would hurt her too much, so she ignored it. It would be too much. Too painful of a truth to deal with.

 

Maybe before everything happened, Lena would understand better and would try to step on her friend’s shoe. She maybe would ignore the last name situation, Kara hadn’t kept the secret because she was a Luthor, right? Lena didn’t want to think. The fact was, nine months ago, Lena would have been more rational. But now? There was no chance. The anger, disappointment, and anguish were the only things she could feel.

 

Her heart was broken.

 

Listen to Kara tell Alex she would reveal her identity wasn’t really a choice. Lena had come back home almost crying of pain, the contractions had increased quickly in just forty minutes. She needed to ask for help, she needed to go to the hospital and let Lizzie be born. At the same time, she was scared, Lena was also excited. Her daughter was about to be born, she would meet her face, take her hands and finally get to hold her. All nine months would be worth it because of that one day. But then, Lena heard it.

 

Damned super hearing. Lena was grateful it was finally coming to an end. Lena stood outside the door, listening to her own girlfriend talk about how she would reveal her secret identity. Something she could’ve done way sooner and Lena didn’t understand why she did it. However, now wasn’t the moment to discuss this, because her dress was soaked, her water had broken and Lena could rip her own skin of how much pain she was feeling. She looked at Alex sitting on the bed, showing surprise and concern. The agent definitely didn’t think that would happen now and didn’t want Lena to find the truth out like that. They got up fast, talking intelligible things at the same time and the dizziness in her body kept her from thinking straight.

 

Lena had already decided Alex would keep the puppies and Agnes during Lizzie’s first month. She was scared the girl might have some allergies, though she knew her alien DNA wouldn’t allow it. But there was so much that Lena didn’t know about her daughter, how her health would be and so many other things. Lena wouldn’t test her limits, she would treat her baby like any normal baby, a fragile human being in need of total attention and care. When Lena came to herself again, Kara already had her purse in hand and Alex was on the phone with doctor Cameron, Kara kept trying to get her focus. Nothing worked.

 

“Lena, can you hear me? Please, say something, anything!” she begged and Lena turned to her slowly.

 

Another contraction.

 

A scream.

 

“Let’s run to the hospital, there’s no time for conversation” Alex intervened “Kara!”

 

“Take the car, I’m going to take Lena” and without warning, took her in her arms, feeling her squeezing her shoulder tight

 

Lena was squirming with pain, sweat dripping down her face and her skin looked paler than ever. Alex didn’t say anything else, she grabbed the car keys, the purses and ran to the street. Kara, ignoring the fact she wasn’t properly dressed to fly, took off from the window and came close to breaking the barrier of sound. Her heartbeat was racing and her eyes were blurred with tears, the CEO still panting and crying. Lizzie was going to be here soon, so close to them and yet the fear was still bigger. Fear that Lena might have listened, fear of what she could do. Fear of losing her world again.

 

As they got into the room, two nurses came running to change Lena’s clothes and get her more comfortable to give birth. Cameron arrived right behind them, asking for proper clothes to be brought for Kara and for Lena to be back immediately. Things were moving so fast no one was noticing time go by. The screams echoed down the hall, almost capable of breaking glass and Kara swore she had never seen Lena so desperate. She stood next to her as the nurses brought her back, holding her hand and noticing the amount of strength she was making as she pushed. But, at some point, their eyes met. And so Kara noticed that this might be the last happy moment she would have next to her.

 

“Dilating nine, can somebody tell me the time between contractions?” The doctor asked, examining the patient through touch and trying to talk to her.

 

“No!” Lena screamed, “it’s… hurting!”

 

“I need you to push, okay?” Cameron asked, receiving a nod in return “I need you to use all your strength and take deep breaths.

 

“I can’t do it!” she cried and yelled, her face burning with tears “I can’t do it, I can’t…” her voice broke.

 

“Lena, look at me,” Kara asked, not knowing what to do “You can do it, I believe in you. Squeeze my hand, as hard as you need. You can do it.”

 

Another scream came out, the doctor now could see the baby’s head.

 

“I…” she sobbed “I hate you so much, so much…” she closed her eyes, her hands were white from the force. Lena held so tight to her hand she thought she was going to break it “wh-why did you do this to me, why?”

 

Kara focused on the moment, trying not to let tears fall. She shouldn’t take it personally, she didn’t want to. But it hurt to hear Lena say she hated her, it hurt like hell. And she kept repeating it.

 

“Lena, push!” a nurse asked, while Cameron focused on the job between her legs.

 

“Do you want to change your position?” the doctor asked, Lena, nodded, screaming again and now losing balance “Kara, help her move.”

 

“Lean on me,” Kara said. Lena used her shoulder to get up and was on her knees, squatting, using all her strength to push again

 

Lena had never experienced pain like that, it felt like her body was being ripped apart into a thousand pieces. More than that, her heart was aching. She felt sweat streaming down her skin, the hair stuck to her forehead and back. Her breathing was failing and it felt like every hipbone was about to break. Lena wanted to give up, she wanted to ask for help and say she wasn’t brave enough to continue. She squeezed her girlfriend’s hands again, feeling her legs give in for a moment, and cried all the tears she had. She could die of the exhaustion her soul was drowning in.

 

“One more time!”

 

She screamed and suddenly the room was filled by a shrilling cry, shattering. Lena fell back and if it wasn’t for Kara holding her, she would have fallen to the floor. The exhaustion from the last hours was going to hit her completely, but nothing mattered now. Lizzie was there. Lizzie, her darling girl, had finally arrived in her world. Still inebriated by the feelings, Cameron let her hold the baby, the umbilical cord still there. Some believe it’s best to only cut it after it stops pulsing. After all, that was the only connection the baby had up until she was born. The connection that kept her alive for nine months.

 

Lena sobbed and placed the girl’s little dirty body over her bare chest. Skin on skin. Mother and daughter

 

Kara closed her eyes and kneeled down, hiding her head in her arms and allowing herself to break. Her hands were shaking and she didn’t know what to feel. It was like she had just put her heart out of her body.

 

“Daughter…” Lena whispered, the little girl still crying loudly, squirming awkwardly.

 

Lena traced her back, holding her from behind, and kissed the soaked head. The nurses left the room for more privacy, but even if there was a crowd watching, neither Lena nor Kara cared. Lizzie deserved all the attention in the world. She kissed her again and again, repeating I love you’s non-stop. Gradually, the girl began to calm down, recognizing her mother’s heartbeat and looking for a more comfortable position. Lena took a deep breath and leaned her head on the stretcher, feeling the tears run down again. She made it.

 

Lizzie was hers. Completely hers.

 

She had her on her arms, holding her with only one and her chest, she cleaned the blood from her eyebrows, noting the little girl was finally opening her arms to see her for the first time. Grey met green, and then met blue. Kara observed her daughter as one admired their own world. Smiling like someone who had just found a reason to live. Lizzie raised her arms and grabbed Kara’s finger as if she was saying everything would be okay. But who was Kara trying to fool? Her heart was screaming and the consequences of her actions were coming to take her down. But she preferred the silence because the peace her little kryptonian brought her was the purest feeling she had ever felt.

 

“I love you, daughter” Kara whispered, trying to muffle the sob that tried to rip through her throat.

 

A few minutes later, a nurse came back to take her. Cameron needed to make the routine procedures and soon would be back with the girl. Lena was afraid to give her the girl and never see her again but drowned it inside her. As she watched the nursed walk out the door with her daughter in hands, her eyes closed and the exhaustion finally won over her body, taking her conscience far away.

 

 

***

 

 

The first thing Lena saw as she woke up was Kara rocking a little peaceful baby, already dressed in an overall. She still remembered the day she bought that piece when she planned minutely every detail for her daughter. Lena thought it was funny because it felt like playing house, choosing laces and clothes that wouldn’t even fit her yet. Now she understood what it meant when her friends said ‘girl’s mother’. She truly was going to be a mama bear. As Lena moved the thin sheet from over her, she found herself in a hospital gown, the front side opened to make feeding easier.

 

Lena rubbed her eyes with her knuckles and paid attention to the calming, low sound that resonated in the room. Kara was humming a lullaby.

 

“I’m glad you’re awake, Ms. Luthor” the nurse greeted her with a smile as she walked in “you need to feed the baby and I’m here to help you.

 

“Hey, Seedy” Kara whispered “look who’s awake, it’s mommy” she pointed to the woman and Lizzie mumbled.

 

“I’m going to walk you through it but it’s the baby who does the job for the most part” the nurse took the girl from one mother and gave her to the other. She helped expose the full breast, pushing the gown and hair back “at first it’s going to hurt and you need you to tell me the intensity of it. It’s very common to take a while to get it right, don’t feel pressured, some babies aren’t strong enough to suck yet and the milk might take a while to move.

 

“Okay,” she murmured, hesitantly. The nurse placed another pillow behind her back, observing the newly mother trace her daughter’s cheeks and bring her closer to her nipple “shit… it hurts…” Lena closed her eyes as she felt a stab of pain”

 

As expected, Lizzie qui