Actions

Work Header

What to expect (When you're expecting)

Summary:

After the Daxamite expulsion, Lena Luthor finds herself in a deep state of confusion and depression, believing she lost her best friend due to her decision before the invasion. And more than that, she is pregnant. Pregnant with her best friend’s ex boyfriend baby. Kara, opposite to what Lena thinks, is dealing with a much worse situation than having to send Mon-El out of the planet because she knows her best friend is pregnant and the baby isn’t his. How? Thanks to Rhea, in a moment of carelessness, because the queen didn’t expect that the strand of hair on her son’s clothing actually belonged to Supergirl.

Notes:

Hello everyone, a few notes before you begin: this story DOES NOT belong to me, the original work was posted on Wattpad in Portuguese, I'm just translating it. Also, The original author gave me permission to do this so yay!

This fic takes place between the second and third season (keep in mind that Lena is still clueless about Kara's identity.)

That's all guys, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did!

Chapter 1: Tears and fears

Chapter Text

The weeks after the Daxamite invasion went by like a blur. Lena didn’t see the hours passing by and didn’t even notice she was spending all her days inside L-Corp, not that anyone was surprised, especially herself. National City was safe, Earth was protected and for days all that the press could write about was the Luthor who prevented mass enslavement.

Lena was supposed to feel good, even relieved, but the sensation that she had become the same as Lex or Lilian was still in her thoughts. What made her different from them? Yes, she had stopped the plans of an insane alien but how many Daxamites died in the process? Besides, isn't that basically her family’s slogan? It was becoming exhausting to dwell on this guilt and her health showed how concerning that was.

Kara. What would she say to her best friend? What excuse or argument solid enough could Lena have to explain that Mike had to leave? Obviously, Supergirl, most likely, had already talked to the reporter and it was probably best this way, the city’s hero had more grip and emotional wisdom to tell the whole city. Not that it made the pain in her chest any better, that now and then made her cry in the bathroom late at night, sure that she had destroyed her best friend’s happiness, and consequently, her only friend.

How would things be from now on?

The blonde wouldn’t answer her calls or texts, and when she did, the excuses were as strange as they could be. Kara was avoiding her, it was crystal clear. Once again she had failed something she loved; Once again she is alone. The situation itself wasn’t the issue, to be honest, being raised as a Luthor gives you a PhD in loneliness. Who was she trying to fool, it was expected that someday she would let Kara down with some attitude or decision that she was bound to make.

Her nights turned day at the same speed she finished a bottle of wine. Her meals were cereal bars and the salad bowl Jess always made sure to buy during lunchtime. If it wasn’t for her secretary, Lena would probably be much worse. Truth is that the Luthor was already suffering, feeling intense headache, nausea, and loss of appetite, along with some smells that became much more intolerable.

On the day before, the CEO led a group of investors that came to meet the new mechanics’ lab, it was supposed to be something pleasant, after all, that was one of her favorite sectors, where many projects were being made and also where interns, just as young as herself, were building a better future. As she arrived at the place, a strong, sweet, and disgusting smell hit her nostrils and the nausea was instantaneous. Without any time to think, her only way out was to run to the bathroom and vomit all the poor lunch she had had.

The low blood pressure bothered her, the headaches were unstable, coming and going, making her nervous and impatient. She wasn’t able to eat what she wanted and was even less able to predict what was causing this sickness. Lena was never someone that kept the medical consults up to date. Now and then, Jess reminded her of an appointment with the ophthalmologist because she had always complained about pain in her eyes or with the dermatologist that did an excellent job with her issue with acne in her teenage years and always asked her to pass by and check-up. No. A CEO should put her responsibilities first, even if that meant putting the company’s priorities in front of her own. It was what Lionel had taught her and what Lilian kept repeating.

Another morning came and once more her breakfast, composed with a cup of coffee, some french toasts, were all thrown up, down the bathroom sink. She couldn’t say if it was stress, her carelessness with herself or if her frustrations and anguish were the ones making her sick. It pained her to look at the cellphone screen and see that Kara, once again, had not responded. What would her best friend think about her anyway? Obviously, nothing good. The Luthor blamed herself for being so naive, for letting herself cling to such a trivial feeling and trusting Rhea so soon. What was she thinking? That every one that got into her life was like Kara? Pure, innocent and were trying to make the world a better place? Now, because of her, her best friend hated her, the world couldn’t decide to make Lena Luthor a hero or just another insane psychopath like Lex and many families that shouldn’t have to suffer due to her stupidity, ended up dying.

Lena didn’t know how many daxamites were bad or not, which ones were there because they wanted to be there, or were forced, it was impossible to know. During a few times, the blonde decided to open up, (usually, because Mike had been a complete asshole, in her opinion) she had learned more about Daxam, about their politics and beliefs. To be honest, she hated that someone so kind and good like Kara was with someone so hollow and petty like Mon-El. But it wasn’t any of her business, she couldn’t interfere or give any advice, because then she wouldn’t be impartial or truthful. And the truth was she had feelings for her best friend, feeling she swore to never tell.

With only memory flashes of her kidnapping ordered by the daxamite queen, her stomach rolled and once again an impulse to vomit crawled to her body, but now all that it was coming out was her bile along with gastric juice. Alcoholic drinks weren’t making her sick, yet, something she was very grateful for, and the only cereal bar flavor she was able to swallow was oat and strawberry. She didn’t try and taste other foods, there was no time for testing and at some point, this sickness would end and everything would go back to normal. The fear, distress, and the feeling of treason would go away, and if they wouldn’t, Lena would move on doing what knew best: ignore it.

Just like she was ignoring the fact that her best friend stopped showing up.

During her childhood, people rarely made sure to stay, offer comfort, and give affection. Her relationships were shallow, whether they were with family or lovers. In school, her friendships were composed of essay groups and the chess team, nothing more than that. She didn't have her yearbook signed by anyone but the biology teacher; she also didn’t go to any “goodbye High School” party. She still remembers very well how Lilian woke her up on the day of her graduation and told her she was leaving for a trip and wasn’t sure when she was coming back. Lionel was already in another country and Lex had left months before for college.

It hurt her, at the time, having to go through all these phases by herself, congratulating herself and telling herself she had done her best, even though believing that, maybe if she tried harder, perhaps Lilian would pay attention. But losing Kara? That was a constant fear. Lena didn’t know anything about friendships or the rules that surround this kind of relationship, she always deprived herself of some kind of intimacies and invasion of her personal space. Privacy and intimacy were intertwined and she was going to keep them like that. However, the reporter was able to break this emotional barrier that the CEO had so greatly built, not in a rude or brute way, but with warm smiles and her incredibly beautiful, almost utopic way of seeing the world. Losing her was always something that haunts her, she just didn’t expect it was going to be this soon.

But no one stayed. No one ever stays.

***

“Miss Luthor.” Jess went into the office with the same posture as usual “I’ve brought the scheme for the next meeting and wanted to let you know that your schedule for next month has already been organized.” Lena smiled in approval and took the brown folder off her hands.

“Thank you,” she answered politely, “cancel the two-thirty teleconference for me, I have to go to a pharmacy and wait for this migraine to vanish.”

“You haven’t been very well lately, Miss Luthor,” the other woman carefully said. “You're paler than usual. Is there something wrong?”

Wrong? She thought to herself in silence. What more could be wrong in her life? The fact that she was almost forced to marry her best friend’s boyfriend, the fact that an insane and psychotic alien might have her DNA or the fact that Kara doesn’t want to ever see her again? She laughed to herself with all the inquiries. Nothing was wrong, in fact, it was all very right. When did her life have the plot of a romantic comedy and all the troubles were solved in an instant, like magic? Never. Chaos was her reality, losses, and fear. Now that was the plot of her days
“It’s probably nothing, just stress,” she tried to smile, knowing she wasn’t convincing a single soul with that but fuck it. She didn’t need an interrogation about her health. “Soon it will pass, I just need a break for the afternoon.”

“As you wish, Miss Luthor,” she didn’t insist, “call me if you need anything else.”

“Thank you.”

After hearing the door clicking, she sighed, nervous and tired. That was something wrong with her body and the certainty of that came from the fact that she lived in it for twenty five years. She could be careless with her medical consults but she didn’t need an expert to tell her that her headaches, nausea, and loss of appetite were, perhaps, a more concerning situation than she thought. Lena got up, served herself another glass of whiskey, and walked toward the bathroom to stare at herself from the mirror. Terrible, that was the exact word to describe her appearance. She didn’t think of herself as a splendid woman in terms of beauty, but she did like to consider herself an attractive woman, pretty with some exquisite features.

She took a deep breath and drank the liquid from the glass all at once, feeling her throat burn and stared at herself one more time. The eyebags, exhaustion, and paleness were more and more visible. Hell. If she didn’t take care of herself everyone would notice that the CEO was ill and that was by far something she wanted. Being a woman already made her a target of comments about her mental and emotional capacity and stability, being sick would only generate more of those unbearable comments. She knelt down looking for any medication but all she found was toilet paper and a little box with an extra toothbrush, floss, and tampons.

She sighed. It was really necessary to leave the company and go home, it was the least she had to do. Sacrifice a whole afternoon of work because she couldn’t even keep herself physically well. Great, that was all she needed. She got up with some difficulty and dizziness suddenly took her weakened body. Many black spots appeared on her sight and Lena held down harshly on the sink marble. Damn it, she wasn’t feeling any good. After closing the small door, and out of context thought came to mind: tampons.

How long had it been since the last time she got her period? Before the Luthor used to take the pills, check the dates, and take care of her intimate health, but now she could barely remember when was the last time she had to use a tampon. Has she got her period in the last six weeks? What about last month and the month before that? God, she didn’t remember. A sudden panic invaded her heart and breathing became very hard. Calm, she had to stay calm. She couldn’t… could she? No. Definitely not. She didn’t even have any sexual relationships with men in the last five months. It wasn’t possible.

Quickly, she ran back to the desk and grabbed her purse, putting whatever she could and taking some documents to analyze later. She let the secretary know she had to leave for an emergency and asked her to reschedule all her appointments. Called the driver, that was on stand by in the underground parking lot. She had to answer the doubt, to urgently prove herself that she was wrong and none of that was true. Lena wished to be mistaken, this time she didn’t mind. Trying not to cry through the way, the Luthor proceeded to the closest pharmacy and bought all the pregnancy tests possible.

Rhea couldn’t have done that.

***

Positive. Eleven positive tests.

Staring at the wall had become natural now. Her body ached for being in the same position, her back and ass. She didn’t know how long she had been locked in her bathroom, sitting on the floor with another stick in her hands. Positive. The eleventh one was supposed to be her last hope, the one that would disprove all the other and would calm down all the nerves and hormones. At what time had she started crying? She no longer remembered. The anger, anguish, and despair came in that exact order. But nothing came out of her mouth, not even a simple scream or a painful whine. Her nightmares seemed far from an end, she felt stupid for thinking one day they would go away.

She remembered how it felt to wake up in a place unknown to her, where she didn’t know if she would make out alive or married to a misogynistic, sexist, in favor of slavery, alien. She would do anything to protect who she loved, would take the same decisions over and over as many times as she had to, but who would she protect? Who would act for her soul, of her fears and feelings? Why was it so useless and childish to wish for someone that cared enough to tell her there wasn’t a need for being so selfless. There was never someone that asked her to not sacrifice herself. Not that it would change anything or make her give up, but a needy and selfish part of her yearned to listen to something like “don’t do that, I need you.”

Ironically she laughed at herself

“Don’t be naive,” she murmured to the empty walls, “no one ever stays.”

Getting pregnant was the last thing she wanted in her life, at least not independently. Being a mother wasn’t in her plans, after all, what did she know about being one? Lilian was a terrible example and her biological mother was dead, she didn’t even remember what she was like. Or what her name was. So what was the objective of having a baby? Why did life enjoy toying with her like that? Pregnant, oh God! And what would this child expect from her? Besides, if she were to ratiocinate like a normal person, she knew who the father was. Shit…

She couldn’t be pregnant with the biggest asshole of that planet. A guy that wasn’t even among them. Kara… what would she say to her friend if at some point she answered her calls? What about her feelings? Once again, acid and warm tears running down her face, making her stomach roll with disgust and bitterness. She never wished so bad for a day to end and that in the morning after this was all a big and confusing nightmare.

However, that wasn’t what happened.

***

“Won’t you answer it?” Alex asked her sister who stared at the screen. A name constantly flashed on it, Lena Luthor. Kara stared at her, sad eyes surrounded by a dark shadow, showing how hard this had also been for her, and shook her head, denying. “She has been calling at least thrice a day, Kara. For weeks.”

“And you think I don’t know that?” Her hoarse and tired voice echoed through the room. “But you expect me to answer and say what? Lena probably hates me by now, she must be so angry…” She sighed, beyond exhausted.

“Is this still about Mon-El?” She carefully asked. The redhead had been studying her sister’s behavior for the past six weeks, since the boy was kicked out of the planet, literally “You think Lena is guilty?”

“No, Alex, of course not,” she sighed. She’d never put that weight on her best friend’s back. “It’s just that sometimes I… I just keep thinking if I did the right thing, I’d feel worse than I do now if Mon-El… anyway. I just want things to be okay.”

“Did you love him?” They were both alone in some DEO office, Supergirl was working nonstop, trying to avoid her own thoughts.

“I don’t know…” she said it out loud for the first time. “I guess I liked the idea I created of him, and also because he reminded me of Krypton, it was like not being…”

“Alone.”

“Yes...” she felt bad for admitting it in front of her sister, “I thought I loved him, I mean… I guess I did but I’m not sure. Giving up on him hurt but at the same time, it was so… easy? I had to decide and I just did,” she sadly looked at Alex. “I just want to let this go… I’m worried about Lena and I have been thinking only about her.”

“Do you think she has found out yet?” J’onn came into the room and found the duo talking. “How do you think Lena will react?”

“You’re asking a lot of difficult questions, Alex.” She snorted, and smiled at the alien as he sat in front of them, “I don’t know anything about pregnancies.”

“About that,” J’onn spoke gravely, “I need you to tell me exactly what you heard before rescuing Lena and Mon-El.”

Kara sighed, she had repeated that story at least fifteen times that week.

“Rhea was talking about an insemination she had done, to make sure Daxam had an heir,” she explained, “she told me how she had lied to her son and Lena, blackmailed them and, even if her plans didn’t work out, she could still come back and take the child.” Now it was the worrying part that was troubling Supergirl’s sleep, “but then Rhea was enraged because, after analyzing the DNA used to combine with Lena’s, she realized it wasn’t Mon-El’s but,” she coughed, nervous, “...mine.”

“So Lena is pregnant with your child,” Alex repeated.

“Exactly,” Kara confirmed, “so… what will we do?”

The blonde looked at J’onn, concerned with what he would say.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to have an alien child inside the Luthor family,” Alex didn’t react but Kara felt her heart race. “We don’t know the potential of that, with what powers they can have, they could be a weapon. One that I don’t want to be in the wrong hands.”

“Weapon?” Kara raised her voice, “we’re talking about a child, my child, she then lowered her voice a bit, “you’re not thinking of taking this child away from Lena, are you?”

“As romantic as this sound, we're talking about a possible threat and…”

“Threat? Romantic?” She laughed in disbelief and got up. “You think this is romantic? My best friend’s body was violated! I have been watching her every day and taking care of her every night, feeling like garbage for seeing her drown herself in work and sleepless nights,” she emphasized angrily. “We’re talking about a mother that didn’t even have a choice, about a child that we don’t know what will be like. We’re talking about my kid and I won’t allow a whole department to make Lena feel worse, or make her feel like a Luthor.”

“Kara, calm down…” Alex got up and touched the blonde’s shoulder, who moved away quickly

“I am calm,” she stared at both of them. “I’m going to tell her and fix this.”

“And how do you expect to do this without compromising yourself,” J’onn asked, still serious, “do you think you can tell her without exposing the whole truth?”

“I don’t know,” she answered, sincere. “But I won’t leave her alone. This is mine and only mine decision.”

***

Two days had gone by since the “discovery” and she hadn’t left her house. She knew her work was pilling up and that Jess was probably dealing with all the stockholders, shareholders, and investors alone, and they would soon begin to speculate the motives behind her misconduct. Fuck it, she thought. Fuck all of them, all the manipulative media and also Kara Danvers.

She was exhausted and hungry. She hadn't eaten anything substantial since she had thrown all her tests away. The wine was her loyal companion, making her forget her own name, unable to see the days go by. But in the morning, just like the other five and a half weeks, she woke up nauseous and threw up again.

Kara had looked for the friends in L-Corp, tried to call but it went straight to the voicemail. No battery. There was only one place where Lena could be and the blonde wasn’t that intimate to her apartment, they almost didn’t meet there, because Lena always preferred going to her friend’s flat and just staying over there. It was more welcoming and warm, it looked less like an office and it had the sweet smell of her friend. Her favorite place in the whole world. But Kara decided she wouldn’t waste any more time, she needed to help Lena, no matter what happened.

She flew around the area before going down to greet the doorman, smiling and leaving a bag with his favorite sandwich. She went up all the floors to the rooftop and took a deep breath before knocking. But then it came to her: what if Lena didn’t want to let anyone in? Well, she had to give it a shot. As she prepared to knock, she heard a thud on the floor which made her heart race in despair. Using her heat vision she melted the lock and went in, immediately searching for her friend.

After going into the bathroom, she found Lena almost passed out on the floor, shaking in cold and pale. Her instinct took place and in no time Kara was carrying her friend back to bed and laying down beside her. Her body was thinner, haggard, and a cold sweat covering her forehead. Kara felt like the worst coward and selfish woman on Earth, mentally punishing herself for leaving Lena alone, for not coming over before and stopping her to continue this self-destruction.

She waited a few minutes, as Lena was getting some of the colors in her face back. The breathing stabilized, the sweat was decreasing and her eyes blinked a couple of times before completely opening up. Lena analyzed where she was and, after noticing warm arms surrounding her, she moved away, scared.

“Hey, it’s okay…” she comforted her in a sweet and slow voice. “It’s me, everything is alright.”

“Kara?” The painful and surprised expression made Kara’s heart sink in her chest.

“I know you’re probably angry at me and… I know I don’t have an excuse and…” she sighed, “maybe… Jess called and I was worried, I know I ghosted you… I don’t…” she immediately stopped after hearing a sob echo through the room. She felt the need to cry as well.

“I thought… I thought you were angry at me…” she sobbed again, the tears ran freely down her face and her chest ached.

“No, Lena, of course not,” the blonde pulled the friend in her arms, hugging her in a protective and caring way. Lena braced her waist strongly, not caring if they were or not crossing a line inside that friendship.

Kara didn’t mind and pulled her even closer, with her own tears running down. She kissed her friend’s dark hair, trying to say she was there and that she wouldn’t leave. How could she think that ghosting and avoiding her was the best choice? Lena was strong, though, and knew how to take care of herself, but she was also fragile.

“What are you doing?” She asked in trepidation as Kara moved to reach her phone?

“Shhh, you don’t have to worry, I’m not leaving”. She smiled, “I’m calling Jess to tell her I’m here, you think she can handle things there by herself?” Lena nodded, “good.”

In a few instants, the younger Danvers notified the secretary and also texted Alex, making it known that was going to spend the whole day out. She would only leave if Earth was invaded again. She left the phone on the nightstand and went back to hugging Lena.

“Sleep,” she whispered, “when you wake up, I’ll be here.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.” She smiled to hide the pain she felt seeing Lena afraid. She slept within minutes and Kara swore to herself she would do whatever she could to keep her safe.

***

After sleeping for about half an hour, Kara got up, letting Lena rest for more time. In silence, she walked to the kitchen, going through all the cabinets and drawers in a search for food. She wanted to cook a meal for the friend, even though her cooking skills didn’t reach farther than pancakes and cheese sandwiches. Something had got to give. But the problem was there nothing inside the fridge besides water, an old peach juice can and some vegetables. In the cabinets, just a few cereal bars and some expired pasta.

She sighed, confused, how could someone with so much money not spend it all in food? It felt like a sin, such a waste. Still thinking about what she would do, the blonde decided to clean up the apartment. She took out the trash, the wine bottles spread around just like the papers on the room’s central table. She organized some books, going through their pages, and threw away all the spoiled food. After finishing, she called Lena’s favorite restaurant and ordered everything the knew the Luthor liked.

A moment after she hangs up, steps were heard in the hallway and Lena appeared by the door.

"I thought you had left" she murmured, still sleepy. Her messy hair was falling on her flattened face and she was wearing a shirt too large for her shoulders.

"No, I was just… distracting myself" she smiled with honesty "I also ordered food."

"I’m not hungry" she walked to the balcony and Kara poured some water for her

"know you’re not" she sat down "but you need to eat something to get better"

"I’m fine" she lied "I’ll be fine"

The silence was all it was heard for a while and the Luthor used that moment to analyze the woman in front of her. She always thought it was mesmerizing the way shone brighter than the sun for everyone around her, the happy and warm way she dealt with life an with the people she loved. But standing there, so close and still, she could notice some changes. She recognized every train in her best friend, she had learned and memorized all of them. Kara was a bit dismal too, with a trace of many sleepless nights underneath her eyes, their blue color was dimmer.

She sighed. It wasn’t fair to be hard on her, it wasn’t easy for neither of them.

"Kara, about what happened…" she spoke without raising her head "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for things to go this way, for you to suffer. I’m sorry about Mike."

"Lena, it wasn’t your fault" she reached for the other woman’s hand over the balcony "It wasn’t your decision, Supergirl told me… a lot" she restricted her words.

"I imagine she did" she exhaled "Either way, I still feel bad about it."

"You don’t have to feel bad" she reassured "I’m not angry at you or anything like that. It was a dangerous situation for all of us, Mon-El had to leave for his own good and I… well…" she fidgeted with her fingers "I’m still learning how to understand what I felt or thought I felt, our relationship was complicated… I think" she smiles, uncertain.

"There’s something you should know" Lena spoke, changing her tone "something that may make you hate me but I have to say it."

"Lena…"

"Let me speak" she said, taking a deep breath "please…"

"Okay" she nodded, knowing what was coming, even though she didn’t think it was going to be so soon.

"Supergirl probably already told you about what Rhea wanted and how she tried to force me to marry your boyfriend or ex boyfriend - she chose her words carefully - the thing is… I’m pregnant" she looked at her friend, searching for a reaction "I didn’t sleep with your boyfriend, I would never do something like that. Somehow Rhea had samples of our DNAs and used them for some kind of insemination."

"Er… okay" it was what she managed to say, Kara already knew the truth, but how could she tell Lena she didn’t mind that she was pregnant with her boyfriend? "right…"

"Did you hear what I just said?" she asked arching her eyebrows

"Yes, I did" she confirmed "but I also have to tell you something and I have to…" the bell rang, interrupting her "our food!" she exclaimed, excited "first, we’ll eat and then… then we can continue."

And so it was. Kara organized the table, separating the plates and that both ate calmly, chatting about lighter topics and about what the blonde had been up to those last weeks. She told her about the bastard Snapper was being, telling her to rewrite the article about the invasion more than three times and demanding impatiently an exclusive with Lena Luthor, the woman who helped to save the day, but could have hidden intentions. Kara warned him she wouldn’t bother her friend, who thanked her mentally while eating. Mysteriously, her stomach didn’t reject the pasta, but only the thought of a salad made her sick.

After finishing, the CEO felt the need to bring the subject again.

"I’m not keeping this child" she spoke suddenly, taking Kara by surprise. The blonde almost spilled her water

"You… wh-what?" she cleaned her lips and left the glass aside. What does she mean? She thought in silence.

"I don’t want to be a mom, Kara" she confessed "I don’t… I have never…" that was just half truthful. And the blonde felt the doubt inside that sentence. "I’m not getting an abortion, that’s not it. But I’m looking up the process of secretive adoption."

"Lena" she reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers "you don’t have to make this decision right now."

"I do."

"Yes, but not now" she repeated kindly. Lena agreed silently and yawned, her eyes starting to get heavy. "go lay down, I’ll clean up. You need to rest."

"You..." she wasn’t brave enough to ask. What if she slept and then Kara left? When would she come back? Would she come back?

"I’ll be waiting here" smiling in relief she walked back to bed, her body grateful for finally having something nutritive and solid inside the stomach.

The younger Danvers sighed and tried no to dwell on those words in her conscience and sub-conscience. Lena didn’t want to be a mother, therefore she wasn’t keeping the child, it wouldn't stay with her. This small confession saddened the blonde’s heart, even hurting it a bit. She couldn’t leave her child in an orphanage, defenseless against any person or couple that wanted it. She couldn’t bear to lose someone who was 50% her, someone that could have her eyes or smile. Or Lena’s smile, she thought. After washing the dishes, she decided she wouldn’t comment on that subject that day, leaving it to Supergirl deal with and tell the truth.

And the truth was that the baby didn’t have a father, but two mothers.

Chapter 2: Something you can't deny

Notes:

Hello everyone, sorry to keep you waiting!

here's the second chapter. Hope you enjoy :)

Chapter Text

After finding something out, the acceptance phase follows or the denial, depending on what was your reaction to the news. For those who had always planned on having children, finding out you’re pregnant comes as good news, surprise or not, expected or not. For each woman, the acceptance always goes through different processes. There are ones who immediately freak out, with a dying need to tell the world about it. Others wonder if that is or isn’t true, but after confirming it, it’s all pure happiness. But, there are still some who don’t quite know how to react to it and there are many reasons for that.

First reason: you didn’t expect it like really didn’t. Married or not, wishing to have children isn’t always a discussion topic and the arrival of this child changes everything. Second reason: It wasn’t planned and you’re not married to the father. This situation is far from being the most complicated. A woman is perfectly capable of raising a child without a man around, however, even rejecting the father’s help, this kind of news is never welcome. Third reason: it wasn’t planned, you’re not married and you don’t want to be a mother. Well, then the decisions become more difficult. Not that the others aren’t though, because all that involves someone’s life is hard. Truth is, not all women wish to be mothers and that is perfectly normal. But what happens then?

There are two very obvious options: abortion or adoption. Abortion is a private matter, each one has the power to decide over their bodies and the mother deserves nothing else than respect and support. Adoption also is a private matter and requires immense maturity from the biological mother’s part. Anyway, giving away someone you’re giving life to is never going to be an easy decision. And nobody can judge you for that. Although there are many other different situations, like a scenario where the mother doesn’t have conditions needed to raise a child, those circumstances change from woman to woman. Lena was still figuring out what her reaction was going to be when the penny finally dropped.

Her first phase was denial, for sure.

 

***

Lena spent the morning putting all the work she had accumulated ahead and Jess was relieved to see her a bit better, more blushy, and elevated. The paper piles fully covered the table’s surface, she had lost count of how many coffee cups she had had and her brain refused to let go of the pregnancy subject. Fucking hell. It was exhausting to dwell on the same topic, again and again, besides, she needed to pay attention and focus. Kara had assured her there was no problem being pregnant with her ex-boyfriend. What still sounded beyond bizarre. She didn’t know what was worse: to be pregnant, to be pregnant with her best friend’s ex-boyfriend, or to be pregnant with an alien.

She’d give everything to see her mother’s face when she finds out, but she obviously wouldn’t tell her. Soon the media would figure out, it is impossible to hide a pregnancy unless she temporarily moved away to somewhere far away. That sounded like a great idea. Maybe, after her belly started to grow, Lena would ask L-corp for temporary leave, leaving her CFO in charge of the more urgent matters and reunions, while she would manage the company from somewhere else. Perhaps that was the best option to escape the tabloids.

She sighed. What would her body look like after nine months? She didn’t want to imagine it. She also wouldn’t admit she had looked at herself in the mirror at least four times before leaving for work. She was starting to sound paranoid, the child wasn’t even big enough to occupy a somewhat large space. Also, should she say child, baby, or fetus? What was the correct termination? Whatever, she couldn’t get attached to it, she couldn’t feed feelings and when you give names, affection is created. So that was the denial phase. Denying she could really be pregnant, denying she could want or wanted to be a mom, and denying that maybe everything wasn’t as bad as it seemed.

During a bathroom break, the Luthor heard the known noise in her balcony.

“Supergirl” she turned and smiled, a bit more relaxed “Kara told me you’d come.”

“Are you okay?” the superhero asked, worried “you seem a bit down.”

“I’m fine and I’d be grateful if you could not mention my looks to anyone” she spoke out defensively. Now everyone was noticing her state? “I suppose you’re already familiar with ‘the news.’”she said ironically and observed the girl of steal’s reaction.

“Actually…” the blonde fidgeted with her cape and looked down, looking a lot like day to day Kara “This is why I’m here.”

“Are you recognizing my child?” she chuckled, raising her brows and crossing her arms. Supergirl froze “I’m kidding. Sit down” she pointed to the sofa “do you want anything to drink?” she asked, reaching for a glass of water but the blonde denied “alright, I’m all ears.”

“First of all, I want to tell you how sorry I am that you had to go through all of… this, with Rhea.” she began, trying to keep her posture “I wish I had realized sooner, maybe helped or stopped her before she took you to the ship. Maybe… maybe now you wouldn’t have to deal with an unwanted pregnancy.” she sighed. Lena analyzed every expression of the woman and listened to every word carefully. Obviously she knew about the pregnancy, but how? Could the superhero have told Kara about it before?

Oh, it made sense, why her best friend didn’t take the news so badly as she thought she would. Kara already knew.

“Maybe” she answered drily and harshly. Her anger kicked in when she understood that Supergirl had shared something so intimate of her to her best friend. “but now this is a private matter and all decisions are mine to take.”

“I’m afraid they’re ours to take” she murmured. Lena raised her brows again.

“Excuse me?”

“There is something you should know and that’s why I’m here” she fixed her posture and sighed “In Krypton, it was usual to use insemination or incubators to generate new lives. Couples who weren’t biologically capable of reproduction often choose those alternatives, because their children would still be 100% genetically compatible” she explained “sexual cells weren’t necessarily needed, the technology was much more advanced than Earth’s and I was… very young when I left, so I don’t know how to explain the specifics.”

“Okay, and your point is?” she asked gravely “I’d appreciate it if you could get straight to it.”

“Right” she took a deep breath, searching for some courage that did not exist “Rhea wished for Daxam to have an heir and for that she needed a princess, which was going to be you. But her plans were close to going wrong and because of that, the queen took the decision of making a child without your… er, permission.” this was harder than she thought “when I got into the ship to rescue you, I heard Rhea yell at one of the labs responsible and she was talking about your pregnancy.”

“What did she say?” Her stomach rolled over. Shit.

“She said she had extracted a strand of Mon-El’s hair, or so she believed” she tittered “the thing is… that strand of hair in his shirt didn’t belong to him…”

Okay. That was too much information. Lena wasn’t following anymore and all the situation, that was confusing enough, was getting messier. So she was pregnant of a daxamite? Instinctively, her hand reached her womb and panic started to rise up again. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the rest of the story.

“And who is it?” she questioned, desperate “who is the father of this child?”

“There isn’t a father” she frowned “there is another mother.”

“I need scotch” she got up quickly, legs shaking, and served herself. She took a few deep breaths, trying to keep her lunch inside her stomach. There was another mother, not a father. A mother “Who does the DNA belong to?”

“To me” she confessed without raising her eyes and heard the Luthor run to the bathroom, kneeling in front of the toilet and holding herself to it “Lena!” she got up in no time to help her.

“Don’t touch me!” she cried in anger. Her strength was slowly vanishing and she damned herself for crying again “How… I…”

“I’m so sorry Lena, I’m truly sorry” she whispered, upset. She didn’t expect that reaction and she couldn’t even touch her friend at that moment “I wish things weren’t like this” The other woman laughed sarcastically. Of course, the Super wished that, after all, who would ever want to have a child with a Luthor?

“Leave me alone” she asked, getting up and washing her face. If there was something she had learned it was that a Luthor always keeps posture, never shows weakness, and does not allow others to feel sorry for them.

“Lena…”

“Leave me alone!” she almost yelled “I may be expecting your child but we will not be mothers. What do you expect from me? For me to congratulate you? Well, congratulations, you’re going to have a child and if you want to keep it I assume you’ll have to find a less agitated and dangerous job than the one you have.” she fixed her skirt and hair, she wouldn’t allow herself to be weak, not in front of a Super “This child won’t carry mine or your last name, whatever that is. I don’t even know your name, so don’t act like we are going to it like a happy couple. We’re not a couple.”

“I know we’re not” she murmured. Her heart ached for all the lies and deep inside, she wondered if she would have had a better reaction if she had told her the baby was Kara’s. She couldn’t make sense of how the CEO loved the reporter but only admired Supergirl, usually, people went the opposite way “I just wanted you to know the truth and maybe that could help with the guilt of being pregnant of your best friend’s ex boyfriend.”

“Well, that didn’t help” she said sitting back “and if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”

“You don’t have to go through this alone” she insisted “maybe we can…”

“We can what? Handle it together?” she laughed in disbelief “You’d come to the medical appointments with me dressed as Supergirl and let everyone find out a Luthor is carrying your child? Is that what you want?” Her tone was harsh and the CEO knew exactly where that anger was coming from “or are you finally going to tell me your real name?”

Nothing. Supergirl couldn’t bring herself to say anything, because truth was, Lena had a point and all she had was excuses. It hurt like hell not being able to tell her best friend her secret identity, keeping a secret like that was painful and a burden she would never wish to anyone else. But her fear spoke louder and the blonde would always back down. She loved the Luthor too much to let any harm happen to her.

“That’s what I thought” Lena spoke disappointed, although she wasn’t sure why. At last, she understood the silence would continue, she decided to end that conversation “Wish you well, Supergirl.”

Kara hesitated before turning around to the balcony’s door behind her. Before leaving, she requested one more wish

“Let Kara help you. That’s all I ask.”

“Have a good day.” were her last words.

 

***

 

The CEO would never let herself cry if that was a different situation, would never allow her walls to crumble like that, making her nightmares come true. She wasn’t mad at Supergirl or the fact that wasn’t worth trusting - even carrying her child in her womb - with her real name, because the blonde wasn’t to blame and it wasn’t her duty to tell the truth to a Luthor. It was all a terrible misunderstanding. But she wouldn’t let herself be weak and be treated like a damsel in danger. She was pregnant, not ill, she didn’t need anyone’s mercy or pity. If she were to be entirely honest, Lena would much rather be pregnant of someone so righteous and good like the Girl of Steel than some egotistical prince, but the biggest issue was that Supergirl was still around. If the baby was Mike’s, he at least was out of the planet somewhere far away. It would be easier to deal with because then there was no one to take part in that process.

But no, the child developing inside her was Kryptonian and would be half-alien, like its’ mother. Mother. What a joke, she thought. It would be a perfect dream to be in a relationship with a woman like that, someone who saves the world in a daily routine and is the symbol of her city. A Luthor and a Super. She laughed to herself and rolled her eyes. That could never happen, firstly because no would accept it, Luthors weren’t made for loving, especially loving aliens. Especially loving Supers. However, karma is a bitch and destiny likes toying with people’s lives, and now she was sitting on her bathroom floor, wondering how she would fix this mess and how she would ignore the growing pain in her chest.

Remembering Kara made her almost smile. Her reaction made even more sense now, Lena wasn’t pregnant of her ex boyfriend. Obviously, if that was true the blonde would have already left, she would have been extremely upset and hurt. The Luthor didn’t know what bothered her the most, if it was the fact the blonde reacted reasonably because she already knew the truth or if it was the insane need to know how Kara would have reacted if the baby was Mike’s. She was probably going mad. The blonde could never fall in love with someone like her, pregnant or not, expecting her ex or a superhero’s child. Her feelings still ached deep in her heart and she kept burying them deeper.

As she got up and stared at the phone’s screen to know the time she noticed she had stayed down for at least forty minutes. By that time L-corp was empty, most of the employees had gone home and Jess was also dismissed. Lena walked towards the bar to get the best bottle of wine, one she kept for special occasions, even though those never really happened. She sat down, turning her eyes to the gigantic glass wall and sighed. The city was still alive and kicking out there and the moon left the balcony’s floor painted in pale white and there wasn’t one cloud up in the sky.

A perfect night. Perfect for being alone.

She served herself a glass and put the bottle on the floor. As she felt the crystal touch her lips, her subconscious reacted faster than she thought it would. Pregnant women shouldn’t have alcoholic beverages, she knew that. The difference was that Lena didn’t care, not yet.

“I’m sorry about this” she murmured, caressing her belly. I can’t be who you want me to be, but I can promise you I’ll find an ideal family. With a mom who will love you and people who will teach you to be someone good, kind, and loyal like your other mother, she thought in silence “I’m sorry…”

The Luthor brought the glass to her mouth again and felt the sweet taste of wine running through her tongue but something inside her made her stop. Damn it. How could she be so moved and affected by someone she didn’t even know?

“You’re not even born and are already giving me trouble” she groaned, leaving her dink aside and getting ready to finally go home “I can’t believe I’m talking to my belly” she smirked. Grabbed her bag and called the driver, she needed to eat or better, the baby needed to eat “are you hungry?” she asked, still caressing her belly and her stomach roared in response “I’m not good at eating every three hours, Kara keeps complaining about it” she felt her heart beating faster after pronouncing that name “you would like her, she’s the best person in the whole world”.

She walked out, wishing a good night to the security guards, and got into the car, asking to go straight to her apartment. Her hand didn’t leave her belly for one second, spending the whole time resting in that body part still to grow. It was unconscious like her motherly instincts were coming to live without her noticing. As she walked into the dark living room, Lena didn’t feel alone. For the first time in her life, the Luthor felt full, taken in a completely new way and accompanied by someone that knew her like nobody else, because she was sure that baby could hear her heart in a way no other person could.

 

***

 

“Alex, I don’t know what to do” Kara whispered for the hundredth time that morning. Her swollen eyes and wan face delated how she was feeling “you had to see her reaction, I’ve never…” she sighed, sadly “I never thought it was going to hurt this much…”

The redhead, who was occupied opening the pizza boxes, looked carefully at her sister. That week were the weirdest days she had ever lived and she knew exactly how complicated was the mess Kara was going into. Well, Alex couldn’t imagine herself in a situation like that and therefore had no idea what to say. But, the more the blonde tried to protect Lena from getting hurt, the more she harmed herself. The lie was the snowball that would turn to an avalanche because a lie needs at least other seven to become convincing.

“I’ll tell you what I think while you eat” she handed her a plate and sat down “Kara, the more you postpone the “big reveal”, the more harm it will do. And you’re not alone in this, Lena is also involved and now there’s a child.” she pointed out.

““I thought that when Lena knew the baby wasn’t Mike’s she would feel… better” she sighed “I don’t know what I was thinking…”

“Yeah, me either” she was honest, making Kara groan in regret “you know how I’m completely against you exposing your identity, especially to her” the blonde shot her an angry stare. Alex sighed with the reaction “not because Lena is a Luthor, but because being one only puts her in greater danger. But I’m even more against letting a mother deal with her pregnancy all alone, especially in her situation. If we are to analyze what happened to her, this insemination was a product of rape” the words were heavy and hard but Alex knew they had to be said “if you’re not telling the truth then you can’t intervene in her decisions and choices. Supergirl can but she wouldn’t want to see for a billion dollars” suddenly Kara lost her appetite “if you want to be a part of this as a friend and not as a mother, then be there to support her. If you want to change your mind because you don’t want to give up on this child than own up to the consequences and fight for what you want” she noticed her sister leaving a slice of pizza on the plate, that rarely happened “Kara, why is it so important to you for Lena to keep this baby?”

That was a hurtful and overly sincere question. During those six weeks, the young Danvers could only think about how to solve that matter to feel some relief. But every time she thought of being a mother and that the child was biologically hers, all the ghosts and fears came back to haunt her. To be reminded of Krypton, of her parents, her friends, and the stories she used to be told as a child still hurt her, still made her shed a tear at night. Especially when the fact of her and Karl-El were the last ones left weighed on her heart.

“My parents could have done something different, Alex” she whispered, feeling the tears stream “they knew Krypton was going to explode and even so decided to stay, they chose to give up on me “ the redhead reached for her hand over the table and squeezed it gently “I don’t want to do the same, I don’t want this child to grow up thinking her parents didn’t want them even though they’re alive and well. My parents would never come back looking for me, but I’m here and Lena is here and…” she sobbed “this baby is a part of me and giving up on it is like… it’s like…”

“Losing your parents again” Alex completed and Kara just nodded “I’m so sorry.”

“Me too” she whispered “I can’t leave Lena alone but I also can’t tell her the truth now. Not yet… I’m not ready yet and I don’t want to jeopardize my chance to accompany the pregnancy. I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

“You’re going to be a mom, do you get that?” she said smiling “Eliza will freak out when she finds out” she provoked and Kara’s eyes widened.

“Oh, Rao!” her hands reached her forehead “she is going to kill me!”

“Chill, little sister” she went back to chewing pizza “at least you’re not a teenager and it’s not like you even slept with the Luthor.”

“Alex!” she groaned “you don’t have to go into the specifics. Lena is just a friend.”

“That doesn’t have to stop it from being something more, especially when I know you like her” she snickered. The blonde still cursed the day she told that secret to her older sisters, a few months ago, before even she got into a relationship with the daxamite.

“She could never fall in love with somebody like me, Alex” she pushed the plate to the side, food still on it “especially when she finds out I’m the mother of her child.”

“That’s what happens when you skip stages…”

“You’re so funny” she mocked “what will I do now?”

“What always do” she said with her mouth full “be there when she needs you and convince her the antenatal visits, soon she will complete two months of pregnancy and the third semester is always the most complicated.”

“Right, I’ll do that” she got up to grab her phone to call her friend

“And Kara…” she called “how did the Luthor believe the strand of her belonged to Supergirl?”

“What do you mean?” she frowned, not following up.

“Mike dated you, not Supergirl” she explained the obvious “how did her hair end up in his clothes? It makes zero sense.”

“I didn’t… I haven’t thought about it…”

“That’s what I thought so” the pizza got her attention back. When her sister left to make the call, Alex thought to herself: Lena is such an idiot in love.

 

***

 

Kara used the elevator, holding a flower bouquet and a box full of donuts. Yes, she knew it wasn’t the healthiest food for a pregnant woman, but if that child was at least 10% like her, their appetite would be uncontrollable, but at least they would have good taste and they wouldn’t eat kale or any other vegetable. She smiled at Jess as soon as she saw her and before asking to go in, her ears were caught in the sweet and calming voice resonating on the other side. Her super-hearing allowed her to hear everyone Lena was saying to someone in the office. Was she accompanied or by herself?

Before knocking, she concentrated again and heard a new sound. It was usual for her to turn off all the sounds surrounding her and focusing on only one, Kara mostly did it when she was trying to sleep or watching tv. But normally, when she was in L-Corp, the only sound she would hear was the CEO’s heart. She knew every beat by heart, every compass, she sometimes would even count them. However, there was another beat, at a lower frequency, but strong and fast. Two hearts. She could hear two heartbeats on the other side of that door.

Holding back tears, the blonde entered the room and saw the Luthor completely focused on the notebook, whilst her hand rested on her belly. It was the most delicate and unique scene she had ever seen.

“Kara!” she got up excited and hugged her friend tightly “are those for me?”

“Yes!” she felt her cheeks blushing the friend took the flowers “I also brought you this” she handled the brown box.

“Did you read my mind?” she smirked “should I be policing what I think?” she teased, as always. Kara was sure she was about to explode with embarrassment.

“Have you been feeling better?” she questioned, sitting down on the sofa. Lena soon joined and her mouth watered as she felt the sweet smell coming from the box. It was like her taste for food had suddenly evolved to something else “Supergirl…”

“Let’s not talk about her” she interrupted “that matter is pretty much solved.”

“Is it?” she masked the upset tone coming from her mouth as she heard Lena excluding the hero so easily from the baby’s life “you know it wasn’t her intention… you know, to make things worse or something.”

“I know and believe me, I don’t feel good about any of it” she confessed “but I won’t interfere with her life like that. How to handle this the best way I can on my own” she pointed out “Supergirl has bigger issues.”

“You don’t have to go through this alone” she murmured. The Luthor raised her brown in interest.

“That’s exactly what she said” she tittered “You two are really similar sometimes” Kara felt her heart sink

“I guess so” she coughed, nervously “Shall we go? We have time but I think the traffic isn’t great today.”

“To where?” the other woman frowned and licked her fingers full of sugar. God, she could hear her stomach crying in happiness for those sweets “What day is today?”

“Wednesday” she answered “I called last Friday, remember? We scheduled a visit for the prenatal”” Lena really seemed to have forgotten, because her face was screaming confusion.

““Oh… shit!”” she groaned “I completely forgot, how could I forgot this fucki…”

“Lena!” she put her hands the Luthor’s mouth “the baby might hear it!” she whispered, making the other raise her brows even more and murmur something inapprehensible. “sorry…” she let go.

“How do you know it can listen?” she asked, curious. Pregnancies were definitely far from her knowledge areas.

 

“Er… I, uh” she cleared her throat “I downloaded an app and it… well, it says that by the sixth week the baby can already listen to what we say.” she blushed profusely.

“You’re taking this quite seriously” she frowned “don’t get too attached, okay? You know I’m going to look for a lawyer to discuss the adoption papers.”

“I know” she tried no to look down, she counted on her magical plan to somehow convince Lena to not give up on the baby “but you’re still going to be with the baby for a long time and this app is really good.”

“Kara Danvers, you are impressive” she charmed “and my favorite person, you know that. C’mon, tell me more about what you found in this app.”

“Okay” they grabbed their pursed and Lena asked Jess to put the flower in a vase, letting her know they were leaving for a medical appointment “here it says the baby is still called embryo and it already has a brian, for that reason the mother have some memory issues” she read as they walked to the car.

That was all a CEO needed, memory issues. She grumbled. She asked the driver to take them to the address “what else?”

“Your breasts will be more sensitive due to the increased blood circulation and high production from the mammary glands” her eyes quickly feel to the torso covered by the bordeaux shirt of the other, making her face burn “how… how are… they?” Rao, she was going to die of embarrassment.

“Are you really asking me about my boobs?” she teased, knowing the friend was about to have a heart attack “Kara?”

“I… er, okay…” she coughed “let’s not discuss this, right? Look! we’re here.” She quickly changed the subject. Lena opened a funny smile and followed the blonde to the entrance, letting the driver know she’d call him as soon as the consult was over.

The office wasn’t huge or luxurious, the walls were painted in icy white and the one behind the main desk was baby pink, making it look presentable and modern. Degrees were hanging all around the place, just like some pictures of babies with flowers and puppies. There were also a few toys placed in a corner and a pink rubber carpet where the alphabet letters were written in black. The Luthor had never been in a place like that and the peace she felt as a child in one of the women’s lap laughed was indescribable. Her eyes accompanied the movements of that mother, that hugged that little human with so much affection, even though her belly was starting to get in the way.

“Lena Luthor” she heard Kara talking to the secretary

“Right, the doctor will call you right away” she answered “Miss Luthor, is it your first time?” the Luthor took a while to understand. All of the sudden, that place and atmosphere made her lose herself and she immediately felt like crying.

“Yes” Kara quickly responded “do we need to fill anything?”

“Are you something of her’s or the baby’s?” she asked, handling a form “if you are, you may sign, but if not you may only help filling it and then Miss Luthor will have to sign it.” the blonde agreed without adding anything else. But what she wanted was to scream out that the baby was also hers.

“Lena, are you okay?” she noticed too much silence from the friend “Are you in pain? Feeling sick?”

“No” she murmured “I have to go to the bathroom” she said fast and in a minute was gone in the hallway.

As she entered the small place, her tears ran free and her heart was beating in despair. She wasn't supposed to feel all that, all that lightness and clarity, but it was impossible. It seemed like her body took every action and transformed it into a rollercoaster of emotions. She cursed herself for crying so easily and for being so sensitive, and also for not knowing how she was going to get out of there looking like nothing had happened. Kara was her friend and was there because she to help her and didn’t want her to spend the next seven months of pregnancy alone.

She could still hear Supergirls voice, could still hear her last words: “Let Kara help you.” Was that why she was letting herself be helped? Because deep down she cared about the hero’s opinion? No. She couldn’t let herself be that soft and emotive. She had made herself very clear to what was her position in that pregnancy and had already taken a decision. Right, now all she had to do was wash her eyes and face whatever was coming. She was getting out that alive, or at least she would try.

 

***

 

“Miss Luthor, Miss Danvers” the beautiful doctor with bright green eyes pointed them to the chairs in front of the table “please, do sit down.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m doctor Allison Cameron and am a gynecologist obstetrician, as you might know” she smiled, sympathetic “have you filled out the form yet

“Sure” Kara handle the paper

“Lena, may I call you that?” she was careful “We have a long journey ahead of us and will see each other with certain frequency, for that I’d rather call you by your first name.”

“Yes, of course” she limited herself to a small smile

“I’ll ask some basic questions, then we’ll have some exams and finally we’ll have the ultrasound, is that alright?” she nodded “Excuse the question, but Miss Danvers, are you her wife or her girlfriend?” Kara choked with air while Lena strongly blushed.

“She is just a friend and she’ll be accompanying my visits, if that’s okay.” the Luthor explained, reaching out the blonde’s hand underneath the table and intertwining their fingers, in way of saying everything was fine.

“There is no problem, I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable” she politely explained “Firstly, do you have any heart or blood pressure disease, diabetes or any other condition that requires regular medical visits or prescribed medication?”

“No, none” the doctor took detailed notes on a file that from now on was Lena’s

“Any partner?” Lena denied “could you give me some information about the father? If you can't, there is no problem. I only need to know in case of congenital and hereditary diseases.”

“I don’t know who the father is” she said firmly. Kara knew that was the logical answer, because there was no plausible explanation to what had happened. But she couldn’t help feeling her smile and joy dying a little bit in that moment “It’s just me.”

“Alright” she kept going, professional as always “your last sexual intercourse was before or after the conceiving?”

Oh Rao.

“Er… After” She answered, feeling out of place and intentionally avoiding Kara’s face, whom she was still holding hands with.

The blonde frowned and repeated that information in her head in looping. When? Since when? With who?

And so it went on, the questions only getting more intimate and specific, the younger Danvers even had to pretend she wasn’t hearing anything a few times. When she thought it was getting a bit better, the doctor began asking blood and urine exams and for the breasts ultrasound, Lena was given some kind of medical gown went to the office’s bathroom. The blonde didn’t quite know what that was for so she just patiently waited, it was time for the ultrasound and she could barely contain her excitement. Sure, Kara didn’t need a machine to hear her baby’s heartbeat, she could her them right now, alongside the mother’s.

She had noticed how nervous had been in the waiting room and was able to hear her crying in the bathroom. It was painful to not be able to knock on the door and comfort her, assure her that it was all going to be okay, that she wasn’t alone. However, she had to hold back and stay low, she couldn’t risk losing the two most important people of her life. If Kara thought about it, Lena was the person she would like to have a baby with, she always found her so warm, gentle and lovely. Maternal, that was the word. To her, Lena was the perfect woman.

“Please step on the balance, facing me” Cameron asked. The other woman was undressed, with only the gown covering fewer parts of her body, after all, it was open in the front. “right, now lay down, please. I’ll have to open your gown, okay?”

 

Oh Rao. How could Kara survive that? Breath, she had to breathe. She had never been that intimate with the friend, although they did share a bet every now and then, especially on movie nights. It weren’t so many nights, but those were special. Lena sent her an embarrassed look and that was enough to calm the little Danvers down, after all, they were there to face a problem together. And because of that, the blonde placed herself by the bed and held tight to her hand.

“Of course” Lena consented, feeling calmer.

The doctor opened her clothing and suddenly there was nothing stopping the kryptonian from looking at Lena’s naked body. But she didn’t, she wasn’t going to be disrespectful in such an intense and embarrassing moment . like that. The CEO was trusting her, letting herself be so vulnerable, allowing Kara so see her in a way no one ever did. It wasn’t fair to look at every part of her body. That wasn’t her role, it wasn’t her place to stare at her best friend’s breasts and stomach and she didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. Her eyes stayed focused on the green of her eyes and how shiny they were this afternoon. Cameron palped each of her breasts, asking if there was any pain, she also felt the uterus and abdominal regions but, fortunately, Lena was fine.

“Let’s get to the best part now” the doctor smiled and place some cold gel on the Luthor’s belly. “we won’t be able to see everything plainly yet and if you have any doubts you can ask me.”

“Can you tell if it’s a boy or a girl?” the blonde asked right way, in an imperceptible smile

“We can’t know the sex yet, it is only visible by the thirteenth week, sometimes even later” the machine slided on Lena’s soft belly, giving her a bit of discomfort and goosebumps “and here is your little child” she focused the image on to a very small body-ish figure “you just got into the half of the sixth week of pregnancy, so the brain is fully formed and the spine is beginning to take place” she changed the focus “here we have the arms and legs, can you see?”

“It’s so small” Kara said, in love, even though she didn’t quite know where to look at “and so pretty…”

“Kara, we can barely see what’s on the screen” Lena called out, laughing at her friend “it doesn’t even have a face yet.”

 

“Actually, the face is being formed this week” the doctor explained “by the eighth week you can ask for a 3D ultrasound, in case you want to know if it is going to have your chin or nose.”

“I bet it will have your eyes” the blonde commented, still ecstatic and staring at the screen “big green eyes like yours.”

“Calm down, Kara” the Luthor laughed, but wondered if her child was going to have eyes like her own and blonde yellow hair like Supergirl’s. That thought made her stomach complain and she quickly let it go “Is the baby fine?”

“Perfectly fine, Lena” Cameron took some shots and continued to slide through the gel “and here is the little heart.” she said before turning the sound on.

Quickly, the room was filled with fast and precise heartbeats. They were like rushed knocks. Kara smiled like never did before, her heart was almost beating like the baby’s and her joy doubled up, because now her friend also knew what it felt like to hear that melody, so amazing and miraculous. Lena, on the other side, was fighting tears, again. She couldn’t get attached, she could not. She had a plan to follow, a life and a company to manage. She didn’t even know how to be a mom.

But how could she resist that sound?

It was her baby, so small and fragile. She was all they had, their protection, nutrient source, their home and comfortableness. She never felt so important to someone until now, she never thought she was going to be so essential to a little being like that, a being stripped from evil, from grudges, pain and anguish. Lena could feel their heart anchoring inside her chest, could feel their little hands trying to move to the belly and whisper that it was okay. She even wondered if that machine could hurt the baby, she didn’t want anyone causing her child pain.

No one would ever harm them, she would kill and die for that promise.

“Your baby has approximately five grams and measures from 0.6 to 0.8 centimeters.” she informed, interrupting Lena’s thoughts.

“Like a pomegranate seed.” Kara compared and Lena look at her, confused.

“Precisely, Miss Danvers” she smiled “now let’s get you cleaned up and then you can go change. How did you know that?” she turned to the blonde.

“She is a bit over excited with this pregnancy” the Luthor explained “she downloaded an app.”

“Apps are a very fun way to trace the pregnancy evolution” she threw the papers with gel away and took her gloves off “there, now you can go get dressed. I’m going to grab the rest of your exam requests and will be back in a few moment. Make yourselves comfortable.”

Allison left and they both breathed in relief, feeling lighter. Kara helped Lena up and closed the front of her gown, lacing the loosen cord.

“Are you okay?” she asked in concern to those crystal irises “you’re...quiet.”

“It’s a lot to process in a single day.” she confessed

“But… did you like seeing it?” she meant the ultrasound “liked hearing it?”

“I’m going to get changed” she said, smiling, leaving Kara alone and without an answer.

 

***

 

After leaving the clinic, Kara convinced her walk two blocks down to a cafeteria, using the made-up excuse that Lena needed to walk to grant better blood circulation to her legs. She did have a point, exercising would actually help the other woman, but they both knew the real goal were the enormous fruit vitamins and grilled cheese, besides, the simple mention of food made the kryptonian’s stomach roar.

And what was unexpected, Lena’s stomach roared along for the first time.

“See?” the blonde exclaimed ”you’re both hungry.”

“The pomegranate seed is hungry” she said, feeling her feet sting inside her shoes “I just ate.”

“Donuts can’t be considered a balanced meal” she sounded like a specialist and that made the other arch her brows.

“Oh, can’t they?” she teased, because everytime she said that, Kara insisted that sweets were as much food as any other “so you’re finally admitting?”

“Don’t hold my words against me” she pouted. Adorable, Lena thought “You’re pregnant, you have to eat well.”

“Eat well is an euphemism” she groaned “this child has my genes and your appetite” those words shone on the little Danver’s heart.

Before she could comment, a tall woman with long dark hair and blue eyes approached them. There was a beauty saloon by the corner of the clinic, she was probably coming from there.

“Lena Luthor” she smiled “what are you doing around here?” Lena panicked, she knew the woman could put two and two together, because right behind them there was a obstetric clinic. Kara sensed her discomfort.

“Helena…” she smiled back “I was just..”

“Keeping me company” the blonde completed and reached her hand out “Kara Danvers.”

“Helena Bertinelli” they shook hands and she stared at the two of them “Pregnant?” she pointed at her belly.

“Yes, sixth week” Kara answered and, to make it more believable, place her hand on her stomach “Lena was just making sure I didn’t panic.”

“And what are you doing here?” the Luthor interrupted.

 

“Just passing through” she vaguely answered “we should see each other more often, Lena.”

“I’m afraid it won’t be possible, L-corp commands very much of me and I need to be completely involved” she gave her best excuse and Kara’s stomach roared again, making the kryptonian blush with embarrassment “and I need to fix the urgent matter.”

“As you wish” Helena nodded, saying goodbye “you know where to find me.”

The CEO didn’t mind answering, because she would never meet Bertinelli again. Her life was already too troubled and confusing. They kept walking in silence and all Kara could think about was what that last sentence meant. Did Lena sleep with her? No, she couldn’t imagine that, But suddenly a bothering jealousy feeling took place in her heart.

Helena was beautiful, she had impeccable posture and an admirable style. How could the young Danvers compete with her? How could she match her? She looked down at her clothes and noticed she had never cared enough to dress a bit more for the CEO, she felt ashamed.

“Kara, darling, is everything okay?” Lena gently caressed her shoulders - I hope Helena didn’t make you uncomfortable.

“No it’s cool. Everything if fine” she rushed to say.

“Also about… that” she sighed “thank you for not telling and covering for me, I don’t know if I would be able to deal with her right now.”

“You’re not telling?” she questioned as she grabbed a menu from the table “not even when you see your… friend again?” maybe she got lost in the role.

“I don’t intend on telling anyone, it’s not like it’s news or that my family would be glad to know it” she grabbed a menu as well “and I won’t be seeing her again. Helena isn’t really a… friend” she confessed, leaving the other woman uneasy.

“Right” she took a deep breath “are you getting the usual? Salad and Hulky colored juice?”

“As much appreciative as I am for healthy food, no” she went back looking at the options “these last days I haven’t been able to eat any of my salads. Apparently, this baby isn’t a fan.” she sighed.

“Seedy really has good taste” she teased, although she knew it was true.

“Nice nickname” she smiled ironically and they both ordered “I don’t get how you can be so excited with the idea of me having a child. I could be pregnant of you ex boyfriend, the only thing that stopped it was a simple mistake, how can you be so calm?”

Kara sighed, she knew they would have this conversation at some point. Sure, theoretically speaking, her friend was supposed to be expecting Mon El’s child, but she wasn’t and that is what matters. Not because she would feel bad if she were, but the child is hers, just as much as it is Lena’s. Now they would be connect with something much stronger than just friendship. Now they were going to have a baby, their child.

“Lena, no matter what could have happened” she reached hands to hold hers “I would never blame you and I would never leave you alone. You’re my best friend and I know you’d never do anything to hurt me or the baby, it being my ex boyfriend’s or not.”

“Did you love him?” she asked carefully, looking away. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer.

“I don’t know” she said, sincere “you know when you love the idea you created of someone? When your conception and imagination make something bigger than it really is?” Lena nodded, completely agreeing, in her life most people were better in her head. Lex was, in her thoughts, a sweet and attentious boy but he turned out so different and all she loved about him now was the idea she had created all those years “that’s how I feel.”

“I’m sorry” she partly smiled “and thank you for being here.”

“I wouldn’t leave you, Lena, you’re not alone” she intertwined her fingers with hers, her heart racing “that’s what friends are for, right?”

“Right, that's what friends are for.”

Chapter 3: It wasn't my choice (and it hurts)

Notes:

Hello everybody, here's chapter three. Enjoy!

Chapter Text

The hot sun that Saturday morning was driving Lena crazy and she was about to break down. Her skin was more sensitive, due to what she had eaten before, her body was swollen and the dress she had chosen a week before, for the opening party of the new support center for families that struggle with childhood cancer, didn’t look half as good now. It was hell on earth. She couldn’t concentrate like she did before or breathe without sweating rivers, even though she wasn’t under the sun. She desperately needed an air conditioner and fresh clothes. Who did she have to bribe to go home? It was all Lena wanted, her emotions were so shaken with everything happening that she almost gave up and sat down on a chair and cried.

Her chest felt so heavy that all Lena did was crying and stressing.

She had to remain pleasant and amiable, everyone was counting on the CEO to recover the name of the company and make good use of the power it had. She couldn't ruin all her plans only because she became a sensitive and emotionally unstable pregnant woman. So, Lena took a deep breath, drank about four glasses of water, went to the bathroom and washed her face, and went back to her post. A crowd was waiting for her on the other side, expecting to hear her speech about the investments, plans, and developments on L"Corp’s technological area. She wished internally that no one would notice the sweatiness, and was counting down the minutes to go back to bed, she was in no shape to go back to work today. For the first time in her life, Lena just wanted to go home.

“Miss Luthor, how do you intend to work with science in a field where research is theoretically overdriven?”, one of the reporters asked. Her mind wandered off thinking none of those reporters were Kara.

“Overdriven or not, each of one them are important, and even though some theses are similar and some hypotheses are the same, each research and development of it is different”, she answered politely. “L-Corp is engaged with various scientists that are currently trying to use new resources for treating cancer that isn’t so aggressive and is more efficient.”

“What are the downsides of lead, that were dispersed into the atmosphere to prevent the invasion, could affect us human beings?”, a girl asked. “Did you, Miss Luthor, think of that before putting everyone at risk?”

Not that subject, she thought to herself. her stomach complained and she felt her body weaken from staying under that sun. Her hands were cold and her throat could almost feel that disgusting juice from her stomach going up. Don’t think about it Lena, she repeated to herself.

“The lead I’ve used does not bring any harm to humans”, she explained, taking a deep breath before continuing, “each step was carefully planned and thought out.”

“Was it your brother who created the device?”, someone yelled.

“Did Lex have other plans to kill the daxamites?”, another one continued.

“Miss Luthor, what makes you different from your brother? Was that a premeditated genocide?”. That was the last straw. Lena felt she was about to pass out any time soon.

Before she could ask for help, an explosion threw cars towards where the interviews were happening. Chaos made everyone run on the contrary direction and the screams were deafening. Another explosion, now on the opposite side, threw concrete bricks at those who were trying to escape. Lena felt herself panicking and her bodyguards immediately held her, taking her away as fast as they could. But, there was a third explosion, this it was right underneath the podium she was standing on and if would have killed her if she hadn’t moved seconds earlier

The entrance glass door broke down completely due to the impulse of the bomb, throwing smithereens everywhere, and towards the CEO. Two guards fell, still dizzy from the impact and deafened by the noise. Lena propped on the wall and, as she looked up, she saw an enormous shadow get closer and felt it was about to collide with her in seconds. The car thrown came to her direction in unbelievable speed, making her heart race and her hands instinctively moved to her belly, as if she was, somehow, trying to keep the little being growing there safe.

She prayed to any god that no harm was to happen to that baby

“Lena!” Supergirl screamed and only then she realized the colliding never happened. The guards were still on the ground and she was still standing in the same place. “Lena!” the blonde yelled as she put the vehicle down on the asphalt and flew to her.

Her sleeves were torn apart and her hair was covered in shattered glass. There was blood on her hands and that pushed her to the limit. Slowly, color vanished and her body was frozen. Her sight went dark for a few seconds making her lose her senses.

“Oh, Rao!” Kara picked her up and left the attack behind, she flew as fast as she could, contacting Alex through the hearing device “Alex!”

I copy, where are you heading?

“Wait for me in the medical area, it’s Lena”, she said, “send more agents to the hospital.”

Supergirl, you have to go back!

“Just do as I asked, please”, the agent didn’t insist, she knew nothing would change her sister’s mind. Nothing was capable of convincing Kara to do something she didn’t want to when it came to Lena Luthor.

***

 

Slowly, Lena was able to see the details of the bedroom she was in, she also felt a sting on her hand. The room was unknown, there was a bed by her side, where some lamps were placed and, from the other side of the grand glass door, she could see a hallway surrounded by grids and also an inferior floor. Where am I? She questioned in silence. Her body ached as she tried to sit, and only then she remembered the attack. The flashes came rapidly, making her feel anxious and nauseous.

“Hey, hey” Supergirl held her gently and grabbed a trash can, where Lena threw all her breakfast up. The Luthor took a deep breath, feeling her watery eyes and all the strength required from her body at that moment, she tried to calm down “I’m going to get you some water”, she pulled away quickly.

“Where am I?”, her voice was raspy and her throat burned, “What happened?”

“Here, drink this” the blonde offered the glass and Lena obeyed, she was in no shape to argue, “you’re safe, you passed out from stress.”

“I want to go home”, she suddenly tried to regain her posture and non existing strength. She couldn’t let her be so vulnerable, “where are my things?”

“Lena, I think it’s better if…”

“You don’t have to think anything, Supergirl”, she kept the harsh tone, “you did your job and I appreciate it, but I now want to leave. Where exactly am I?”

“The DEO” Alex answered, walking in “you don’t need to be so defensive, Luthor”, she smiled, “we only made sure you were safe until you woke up, no one is keeping you hostage.”

“That would be your dream, I suppose” she was sarcastic, one of her many defense mechanisms, “you’re all just waiting for that day.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth”, Alex continued and removed the serum connected to one of her hands.

“I don’t have to”, she talked back and massaged the aching hand, “I just want to leave.”

Lena got up with certain difficulty and Kara had to fight against the need to carry her again or at least offer help. After getting ready, she politely thanked them for their help and asked where the way out was. She had never been in the DEO, but she knew there was a secret department that dealt with extraterrestrial issues. It was also known to her that her best friend’s sister didn’t work for the FBI, something that always made her feel bad because Alex was lying to Kara. And Lena loathed lies. Although she knew that place was real, she never thought she would step foot in there.

But of course, they knew she was expecting the big and famous city’s superhero’s baby. And her baby, that wasn’t even born, was another one of their files and cases. As she realized that, her left hand moved to her belly and she clenched her jaw. No one was ever laying a finger in that child, let alone that secret organization that had their own rules and morals.

“Miss Luthor”, J’onn intercepted Lena and Supergirl in the middle of the hallways “I’m the DEO’s director, John”, he introduced himself as human, as he usually did.

“As interested as I am, I really don’t feel like socializing”, she answered, almost agonizing. What was wrong with those people? What was wrong with the universe that morning?

She should have listened to her interior self and stayed inside her house.

 

“I have been meaning to deal with some issues and you must work with us” he kept the inalterable serious tone “It is strictly necessary that we make some tests, so we know more about your pregnancy and your baby’s DNA. It is for your safety…”

“No” Kara placed herself in front of the CEO “c’mon, Lena” the other woman felt the superhero’s warm hand, hold hers and that made her whole body react. That was intimate, too intimate

“Supergirl, it isn’t your decision” J’onn repeated, “we have to take certain precautions.”

“This decision is also mine and no one is laying a finger on her!” she was resolute “I’m taking her home and I’ll be back so we can find out who was responsible for the attack.”

“You know something strange is happening, look at her clothes” he pointed at the torn sleeves “Ms. Luthor doesn’t have a scratch and we both know it wasn’t supposed to be this way” that was when Lena realized that indeed, she didn’t have a single scratch. The blood previously on her hands was probably from one of the guards.

“I have made my decision and I expect you to respect it” she kept her posture “I work with you and not for you. I’ll be back soon.”

The other agents were frightened, Kara was usually so sweet and gentle. To see her act that way was unusual and completely out of the blue. Even in the most dangerous and exhausting time the hero always tried to keep calm, always tried to keep herself together, and to think before speaking. Of course, when it came to Alex, things were a bit different. But none of them expect to see Supergirl step up for a Luthor against the DEO’s boss. And not one of them knew she was carrying her baby. Not yet.

Supergirl carried Lena in her arms to the apartment’s balcony and left her there, asking her to call Kara later. She was nervous because of J’onn’s attitude and also ashamed for saying everything in her mind without considering Lena’s opinions and thoughts. But even though she felt bad, if she had to, she would do it all again. There wasn’t much of a choice, Kara didn’t want the whole department dealing with her baby like it was a scientific experiment or a new weapon. Eliza and Jeremiah always protected her from that and always told her nobody could treat her differently, even though, deep down she was.

Before flying away, the CEO held her wrist, making her stop.

“Thank you.”

The blonde forced a weak smile, leaving a lot unsaid.

 

***

“Kara?” It was late in the afternoon on that awful Saturday and Lena didn’t expect a visit from her friend. But she had heard about the attack in the morning.

“Lena, I was so worried” she sighed “can I come in? I know I should have warned you… I, er… I just wanted to know how you were.”

“Of course” she moved out to make space “and I’m fine, no need for you to worry” she granted.

“I read that one of the bombs was underneath you” she stared at the other woman, blue eyes more intense than ever “you…you could’ve… I can’t even say it out loud…”

The Luthor understood what she meant, she didn’t want to think about the “what if’s”. It was too terrifying, imagine how many times she was near to death, to be arrested for something she wasn't guilty of, to lose her sanity. But, seeing the pain and worry inside those tender eyes always made her completely unarmed. Kara was the only one that acted like that with her, she showed up unannounced just to know if she had eaten or if she was okay.

“C’mon, sit down” she pulled her hand to the sofa and let her take a deep breath “I’m okay, nothing happened.”

I know… but…

"But nothing” she smiled tenderly “don’t think about what could have gone wrong. Can you do that for me?”

“I can” she was honest. She could do anything for her friend “Supergirl arrived right on time to avoid the worst.”

“Yes, as always” the atmosphere shifted “let’s not talk about her. Are you hungry?”

“Why do you avoid talking about Supergirl?” she asked, hesitantly, “I thought… I thought you liked her.”

“I admire her, Kara” she admitted “she’s a good friend, even though we're not intimate enough for me to say something like that. But she and I are just that, I’m not going to change her whole life only because I’m expecting her baby, she’s this city’s hero” she sighed “Supergirl has other priorities, a private life which I am not part of. So I’m not treating this subject like we have something in common besides work.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit… unfair?” Kara was careful with her words “not that I’m saying this is fair to you because it isn’t, but she is only trying to understand and make this less… worse, I think…”

“I know I can be a little too hard on her, I admit it” she searched for her friend’s hands and held them “I promise you to rethink this, okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry if I crossed any lines” she smiled softly “I just want… I just want it to be okay. She asked me to give you this” she showed a small folded paper “and said it’s for you to open it when you’re alone.”

“Right,” she smiled “I’ll do it later. We can order pizza and potstickers that I know you like, what do you think?” changing the subject completely, to something she knew her friend couldn’t resist.

“Who are you and what have you done to my friend?” she teased “are you sure you’re not trying to convince me to eat a pizza full of broccoli?”

“Don’t say that out loud” Lena placed her head between her hands “only hearing that word makes me sick “

“Say what now?” the blonde almost jumped from the sofa

“Seedy here is taking away the best things in my life, Kara” she said, dramatic ”they don’t even let me eat my cereal bars.”

“It’s because it sucks” she made a funny face “okay, pizza and Jiaozi” she took her phone out of the pocket and immediately ordered it via iFood “don’t worry Seedy, I won’t let her feed you any of those disgusting things, I promise you” Kara whispered, holding herself back from touching her friend’s belly. Lena felt it when her friend almost touched her.

“You and they are not allying against me” she ignored the situation, not knowing how to deal with the fact someone was making this more real now “can’t handle two Karas.”

“I'm sorry but Seedy and I are best friends now” she smirked.

“I knew I’d lose your friendship in time.”

“What?” she was startled “Lena, no” she got closer to her friend and held her hands “of course not, I’m not replacing you for anyone.”

“I’m kidding, Kara,” she laughed it off “movie?”

“My pick!” she shouted “drama, action, comedy, or…”

“I trust you” she shrugged “but nothing too dramatic, I have been crying for any reason.”

“It’s the hormones, I…” she felt herself blushing while scrolling through Netflix “I...er… I read it in a book.”

“A book? What happened to the app?” she arched her brows finding all of that very entertaining. It was like her friend was that child’s other mom.

“It’s on my phone but I was curious about… about everything else” she coughed, nervously “The Proposal, how do you like it?”

“Being a rom-com, it’s fine” Kara nodded and pressed play. She went back to the sofa, took off her shoes, and lay down, resting her head in her friend’s lap, like they always did on movie nights “Can I let your hair down?”

“Uhum” she whispered. Lena took off the elastic and sunk her fingers in those soft blonde waves. Caressing her hair was always relaxing for both of them “I was thinking… uh, tomorrow is game night” she turned to face the Luthor “I wanted you to come…”

“I’m not sure if it’s a good idea” she remembered the way J’onn had treated her earlier that day like she was a scientific project. What if Alex thought the same? What if she wanted to know more about the baby? Her heart suddenly raced and her body tensed.

“Lena - the blonde reached for the hands in her hair and held them - I’ll be there and if you don’t want to go, that’s okay, I won’t be upset” she could hear every frightened heartbeat inside the other woman’s chest and the last thing she wanted was Lena to be nervous.

“Right, I’ll think about it” Kara nodded and they both went back to watching the movie.
It didn't take long for the food to arrive and Lena swallowed three impressive pizza slices, along with some potstickers. Kara didn’t lose the opportunity to tell her friend she was loving the whole ‘eat a lot’ phase, she enjoyed seeing her eat freely, instead of thinking and calculating everything going in her mouth. The Luthor always tried to keep her appetite under control, maintaining a healthy and controlled ‘diet’. Diet between quotation marks because the blonde insisted on saying that skipping meals wasn’t a diet, it was insanity.

But any kind of diet in any way seemed like a step to craziness to the kryptonian.

They went back to the sofa and put on a random Friend’s episode as soon as the movie ended. Kara was still laying on her friend’s lap and the CEO kept caressing her hair, observing the goosebumps crawl on the blonde’s neck when her fingers stroke the hair a bit harsher, and the way she would silently whimper when her nails touched the nape of her neck. It’s a sensitive area, she thought. What other areas could be sensitive too? No, she shouldn’t think about it, she couldn’t think about it, no while her friend was lying between her legs, all attention to the television.

God, she was aroused. Damn time to feel it. Lena took a deep breath and looked down to find her friend’s relaxed face, her eyes closed. The little Danvers had fallen asleep and she thanked the heavens for that. She sneaked out of the sofa as silently as she could, trying not to wake her, turned off the tv, and went to grab a blanket for the blonde. Smiling, Lena wished her a quiet goodnight and headed off to her bedroom, still thinking of ways to calm her stubborn and hot body. She turned the air conditioner on, although it was a cold night, and lay down.

Before closing her eyes, she took the small folded paper she had put on her pocket and opened it. Her heart wasn’t able to deal with those two words and her mind wandered off to when the superhero had been embarrassed about the way she had defended her that morning.

“El marayah. Stronger together”

 

***

 

Even though it was Sunday and she had woken feeling she had only two hours of sleep, Lena decided to put some L-Corp work behind, she felt guilty for not working on Saturday and she also wanted to contact her lawyer as soon as possible. When she got up that morning, she was already gone and left a little note on the carefully folded blanket, saying that Alex had called, needing help with something from the apartment. She also asked for Lena to think with love about game night. She answered immediately, confirming her presence in that event, although she knew she was going to be extremely uncomfortable, for she didn’t know anyone. Winn was a nice boy, but what else did she know about him? Maggie, she didn’t really want to think about that one. Alex was an incognito and James, well, the only thing she knew about him was the fact he had dated her best friend.

Which was enough reason to hold a thousand grudges against the lad.

Anyway, what else could she do? She was never able to say no to her friend when she was pouting. If Supergirl thought she was so strong and powerful, it was because she had never felt the power of Kara’s pout when she wanted to convince Lena of something. Leaving all that aside, she rushed to the bathroom and got ready for work. More than that, she had given more thought about “Seedy’s other mom” and she wanted to resolve some things and put an end to some things left unsaid. She called her driver and arrived at her office right before 8 A.M.

The hours passed by and she was able to do a lot of things, organizing some meetings due next month, reading and signing a few documents, and finally answering all her unread emails. Well, not all of them. When her stomach roared, Lena remembered two things she still had to do. Calling her lawyer was the first, and so she scheduled a meeting after lunch, she wanted to get all this situation done, so she could feel lighter. The other thing was talking to Supergirl, so she pressed the small device the hero had given her after one of the attacks. She didn’t remember which. There were so many.

In a matter of minutes - or maybe seconds? - the blond landed in her balcony, with the same posture and beauty as usual.

“Is something wrong? What happened” she got in alarmed.

“No, Supergirl, nothing happened” she laughed at the irony of the situation “I called you because I want to talk”

“Oh,” her face frowned a bit as she relaxed. Lena wasn’t in danger “okay, right.”

“Sit down” she pointed to the iconic white couch “can I get you something to drink? Water or whiskey?”

“I don’t drink” she answered, sitting down.

“Funny, me either” Lena rolled her eyes and the hero frowned “disadvantages of being pregnant.”

“Thank you” she took the glass of water “this is what you want to talk about right?”

“Firstly, I wanted to apologize for the way I acted a few days ago” she sighed “I know I took out my frustrations at you and I don’t like that fact.”

“Lena…”

“And secondly” she raised her finger and interrupted “you’re going to let me finish without interrupting” the blonde nodded, tightening her grip on the glass in her hands “I get that neither of us chose this situation. It was a big mistake and misunderstanding. I don’t know a thing about your personal life, much less if you wished to be a mother and that doesn’t matter because I would never be an option for parenting your child” she infatuated “I can imagine how uncomfortable it must be for a Super to now Luthor is carrying their child” the kryptonian almost intervened but held herself back. You should never upset a pregnant woman, that’s what she had read “that’s why I’m here, to tell you I have made my choice. This is as surprising and uncomfortable for you as it is for me, and I will take the necessary measures on my own. I’m sorry if you were expecting to be involved or to help in any way, but this is my body and those are my rules” she sighed “but I won’t push you away.”

“You won’t?” she stared at her, filled with hope.

“No, and not only because I know we’ll always end up meeting each other, one way or another” she explained “I noticed the way you stood up for me at the DEO, that’s how I know you care. So, as long as you respect my final decision, I’m willing to let you come by to know how the pregnancy is going, to make sure the baby is okay, and if you want to, you may see the ultrasound images.”

“Really?” the blond’s face enlightened. It was all she wanted, even if she was a little disappointed with Lena’s decision. That was her chance to convince Lena to change her mind, as Kara and as Supergirl.

“Yes, but you have to keep in mind that this child won’t be mine or yours, we won’t be mothers and we won’t see it growing after it’s born” she repeated “but I’ll make sure it has the best family and ministration.”

“It’s enough for me” she smiled against her will “and I’m sorry… about J’onn. He is just… I don’t know, it’s complicated” she grimaced

“Doesn’t matter” Lena lied and took the ultrasound images out of her purse, handing them to Supergirl “I won’t go back to that place.”

“I can hear it” the blue in her eyes shone as she looked through the pictures again “I can hear her heart.”

“You can?” she was thrown off. She knew about Supergirl’s super-hearing but she didn’t think it was like that “Her?”

“Seedy” she said and instantly regretted it. Shit “Kara… she, uhm, she told me.”

“Oh, well, I see” she sighed thinking of her best friend “ she is very excited about this, and I’m scared she will be hurt when all of this is over, I mean.”

“She will understand” Kara lied, she wasn’t going to give up so easily.

“I hope so” she took back the images and put them away “thank you for dropping by and for respecting my choices.”

“You don’t have to thank me” she got up and they walked back to the balcony “and Lena, thank you for everything. Even though you think you wouldn’t make a good mother, you’re already being a great one.”

She thanked her in silence and watched as the hero took off to the sky. Took a deep breath. She couldn’t let anyone change her mind.

 

***

 

After leaving the lawyer’s office, the CEO found herself in a deep state of agonizing stress. She didn’t think the conversation would go like that, in her mind, she was sure she would be breathing in relief, not despair. To make things worse, her stomach was still complaining in hunger, and so she remembered she hadn’t had lunch yet. She looked at the clock and saw it had already passed six, which means Kara would arrive in less than fifteen minutes to pick her up for the game night. Hell. Why did she agree to it? All she wanted was to go home, take a long shower, and get rid of those uncomfortable clothes. She didn’t what was bothering her the most that weekend but she sure wasn’t in a good mood.

As she predicted, Kara arrived just as she finished organizing paper on and around the table. The blonde helped her clean the room and so Lena called the driver, unable to maintain a productive conversation with the other woman. Her head was flying far, her thought bothered her and she wanted to forget that conversation with the lawyer, her life was confusing and complicated enough. Kara noticed her friend’s silence and respected it, Lena always kept a smile and good mood for appearances, even when she didn't feel like that, so seeing her so down made her think about the conversation earlier, when she was Supergirl.

Everyone was laying around the little Danver’s cozy apartment, laughing and chatting, while Alex opened many pizza and potstickers boxes. Of course, that was the meal of the night, Lena wasn’t even expecting something different. Her stomach complained one more time and her hand traveled down to her belly, whispering “wait a little longer” as if she was trying to calm someone down. That small action didn’t go unnoticed by the redhead, but she decided to stay silent. The blonde guided her friend to her bedroom and the CEO didn’t quite understand why then Kara pointed out some cleans clothes on top of the bed and she understood what Kara was trying to do.

 

“I want you to be comfortable” she explained softly “if you need anything you can ask me, Lena, I mean it.”

“Thank you” she smiled, feeling a bit guilty for not feeling so excited “will you wait for me?”

“Of course” the kryptonian sat down and waited, smiling as she saw Lena leaving the bathroom in a summer dress. Her eyes couldn’t avert Lena’s beauty, the way she was able to look miraculously amazing in anything, literally anything.

“Do I look bad?” Lena asked, once her friend didn’t say a thing.

“No!” she jumped out of the bed “I mean… It’s good...er, well… beautiful. You look beautiful”

“Thanks” she was honest “I think the last time I’ve worn an All Star I was like sixteen.”

“It’s never too late to go back to old habits” she joked “shall we?” Kara reached her hand out and Lena intertwined their fingers.

They went back to the living room and James and Winn were arguing about whether they should play Scotland Yard or Clue, although they were both about crime and mystery. It didn’t make much of a difference. Maggie was sitting in one of the armchairs, Alex in her lap and a beer in her hand. As they saw the two of them arriving they all smiled and called them to join in. Kara took two slices of pizza and offered one to Lena, who promptly accepted, for she was about to pass out of starvation

“Beer?” Maggie offered and Alex punched her arm, reminding her, not so discreetly, that Lena wasn’t drinking “Ouch!”

“No, thank you” she smiled with sympathy. Okay, the latina had arrested her some time ago but she couldn’t take it personally. Sawyer was just doing her job.

“Kara gave you a slice of pizza?” Winn asked, impressed “what kind of magic have you performed?” he turned to Lena

“Shut up, Winn” Alex threw a pillow at him “leave the Luthor alone.”

“A Luthor that doesn’t drink” James commented “impressively different.”

“Should I believe you have a complete manual with detailed descriptions of the rules on how to behave like a Luthor, Mr. Olsen?” Lena arched her brows and stared at him.

“You are all so annoying” the redhead sighed “are we playing or not?”

“I’m grabbing more beer, I’m cool with whatever you guys decide” the latina got up and made her way to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry” the blonde whispered to Lena, who smiled softly “if you want to…”

“Kara, it’s okay” she reassured, reaching for her hand “I’m here for you.”

After they calmed down, they decided the game of the night was going to be Clue, simply because it was less complicated and lasted longer than Scotland Yard. The characters were chosen, cards were given and the game’s secret was hidden inside its envelope. And so the rounds went, the competition was fierce between Maggie, Lena, and Alex. The three of them were incredibly good and extremely competitive. Little by little, the clues were being revealed and Kara was still contemplative about the nature of the crime, James was trying his best to gather all the information he had, and Winn, well, he barely knew what he was doing.

“It was Colonel Mustard, in the library with the dagger” Alex guessed and everyone stared at each other doubtfully. The redhead always won that game.

“Is someone else guessing?” James asked curiously

“I think it was Mrs. white, in the kitchen with the hammer” Sawyer smiled to her bride and stared at each other, defying one another. They loved to challenge each other.

“And I quit” Winn sighed “why can’t I ever win this game?”

“That’s because you’re too smart, my friend” James teased and everyone laughed “Kara?”

“Whatever Lena says, I say the same” she said quickly and James arched his brows.

“That’s not how you play little Danvers” Maggie pointed out “It’s an individual game, you can’t do that.”

“Kara” Lena pulled her friend closer and whispered something to her ear, making the blonde nod in agreement “Got it?” the blonde nodded again and they exchanged paper underneath the table, trying to fool the rest of them.

“That’s not fair!” Schott pointed to the Luthor “you’re a plot and that’s not fair!”

“I’m guessing!” Kara nearly screamed “It was Mrs. Scarlett, in the garden with the knife” she shone a victorious smile.

And wasn’t let down. Kara won the game and Winn went back to complaining, groaning that what happened was wrong. But the blonde affirmed in every way she could that she had gotten to that conclusion by herself, showing him her notes. Lena just kept quiet, knowing that just making her friend happy, made herself happy as well. After James suggested they should play again, the CEO excused herself saying she was going to take the leftovers to the kitchen as an excuse to breathe, alone. She likes being there, even if not all of them liked her, but it was good to have some time away from work, away from her thoughts that every now and then came back to haunt her.

“Please” she murmured, hand in her belly “let’s not eat anything else tonight, okay?” she gently caressed the dress “we still have seven months and two weeks, you don’t need to eat everything all at once…”

“Talking to yourself?” Alex walked in the kitchen with a pair of empty bottles in hand.

“Alex!” she quickly removed her hand from her belly, placing it on her chest “you scared me.”

“Relax, Luthor” she smiled “It’s normal to talk to your belly during pregnancy” Lena felt her cheeks burn “and don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone, just like I won’t tell them I saw you pass your notes to my sister underneath the table earlier” she teased “and anyway, James and Winn don’t know a thing and the only reason Maggie knows is that Kara was worried about you after yesterday.”

“Why are you doing this?” Lena frowned “I know you don’t like me, you don’t have to pretend.”

“You almost hurt me with this attitude, almost” she teased again “I never said I didn’t like you. Yes, I misjudged you in the beginning and for that, I apologize, but I can be a bit protective of Kara and that one had been hurt too many times by people she shouldn’t have trusted” she explained “and Luthor as a last name threw me off too.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s a surprise.” she sighed. She was thankful for the other’s sincerity

“Yes, but you’re not a surname and are much less your brother” Alex pointed out “if you could let my mistakes behind and forgive me, I’d be very grateful.”

“I forgive you” she turned her face, looking at Kara laughing in the living room “I think I’m going to go home.”

“I know you care for her and this situation leaves you on edge” Alex kept going “but why won’t you let yourself relax a bit? You don’t have to keep your posture 24/7 or be the strongest woman in the world, Lena.”

“I just want this to end” her eyes teared up, she quickly shook her head “I’m sorry, I’ve been pretty nervous and stressed these days.”

“ Look, I may not understand what is going on in your smart head right now” the redhead carefully got closer and placed a hand in her shoulder “ but just breath, deep breaths, take a lot of those. Kara may be your best friend but she doesn’t have to be the only one, think about it” she smiled. The Luthor was not expecting that.

“Thank you” she was truly grateful “but I’m heading off, I had a long day.”

“I’ll call my sister” the agent walked away and so Lena wondered if maybe she had also misjudged the other woman.

 

***

 

“You didn’t need to come with me, Kara” the CEO repeated for the thousand times.

When she told her friend she was leaving, her legs were hurting and she desperately needed a shower, so the little Danvers promptly volunteered to accompany her to the apartment. She was feeling a little bad, thinking her friends crossed some lines or that Lena was feeling uncomfortable but didn’t want to say anything. So she decided to ignore the fact she was leaving her friends behind in her apartment and also leaving aside the fact that this was till game night, she followed the Luthor, not caring if they would complain. Alex didn’t say a thing, she knew that when it was about Kara and Lena, every argument was a lost cause.

None of them said anything on the way. Lena was sleepy and tired, she was also feeling guilty for ruining her friend’s game night. But what could she do? Kara was very stubborn. The driver parked just as the clock hit 10 P.M. They went up the elevator together, Lena was still in the little Danver’s clothes, which made the doorman shoot her a funny look and compliment her. A compliment that almost made her cry. People were hardy kind to her, so hearing “you should wear this color more often, Miss Luthor, it really highlights your beautiful eyes” with such gentleness, she wanted to cry.

The apartment was swallowed in darkness, as she walked in, Lena took off her shoes and left them aside. Kara was still following her quietly, fidgeting with her fingers and sighing a little too loud. She didn’t know what to say, but she surely didn’t want her friend to suffer in silence. Something was happening and it was upsetting her.

“Lena, are… are you okay?” Kara asked hesitantly, she didn’t want to cross boundaries “you don’t look okay.”

“I…” she sighed. It was hard to look at her concerned face and she couldn’t bear to see her friend sad “I will be fine, I just need some time.”

“What happened today?” the hero raised her head to see her eyes “did someone… say something?”

“I had a meeting with my lawyer” she confessed, walking towards the kitchen and grabbing two small water bottles “and it didn’t go as I planned.”

“Was it about the adoption?” they sat down “what did he say?”

“I wanted to solve at least one part of this… mess” she sighed “I asked him to bring everything I had to sign and know about secretive adoption, to make sure nothing would go wrong, but…” she took a sip of water before continuing. She really didn’t want to cry again.

“It’s okay” the blonde murmured and held her friend’s hands.

“He asked me to wait more time, at least until the seventh month,” she explained, feeling a little bit of anger “he told me it was too soon, that I might change my mind and want to keep the child. He said it’s very common for it to happen because most women get too involved with the pregnancy and end up loving the child when it’s born.”

“And do you think… er, you think you might change your mind?” she asked, hopeful.

“I can’t, Kara” she confessed “I don’t… I don’t want to, I can’t.”

“Why not?” Kara insisted. It was hard for her to understand why Lena was resisting something so intense and beautiful as a pregnancy. “Why not, Lena?”

“Because I can’t!, because I don’t want to!” she screamed harshly, tears running freely through her face.

“Lena, what is going on?” Kara sighed “please let me help you, please...let me inside these walls you have built around yourself.”

“I need to be alone” she put an end to the conversation and got up “please, Kara.”

“Fine” she said, feeling her tears fall. They walked to the door in silence and Lena felt more than bad for fighting with her.

They stared at each other for a few minutes, each one standing on one side of the door until the CEO pulled her friend to a hug. She hated that situation and hated even more what her life was turning out to be. Kara held her tight and inhaled the known sweet perfume the Luthor had. Her favorite smell. Her favorite person.

“I’m so sorry for this” Lena whispered and the blonde held her even tighter.

“I don’t care what you say” she said softly “I’m not leaving, okay?” she nodded and smiled “Goodnight, Lena.”

“Goodnight, Kara.” and closed the door.

 

***

She took off her clothes slowly in the bathroom, letting the pieces of cloth fall one by one on the cold floor. Lena felt pain as she stared at herself in the mirror. Her body would change, just like her life was changing and she hated changes. She hated not knowing what to do, not having control of anything, not even of her own body. She could, of course, simply go to a clinic and fix it, get an abortion and it then everything would go back to normal. There would be no pregnancy and no one to question her choices and fears. But, what about her conscience? How could she sleep knowing she had put an end to someone’s life with such ease? As much as science said it was just a fetus or embryo, it wasn’t that simple for Lena.

For Heaven’s sake, she could hear their heartbeat just like she could hear her own. Alive. She had nothing against who had the guts to do it. Lena admired them, as a little girl she had always seen women facing choices and matters where no options were simple and easy. Nowadays, just like the past, no woman would have an easy way out. They were forced to face sexisms, sexualization, and even discrimination for being more susceptible to emotional moments, as they were capable of getting pregnant when it should be the other way around. Each woman should be loved and more, be respected for all the responsibilities they had to manage on their own. They should be praised. Then no, she had nothing against them.

Her sight fell to her breasts and she felt them up, feeling her skin bristle and instantaneously respond to the action. It had been a while since someone had touched her sexually and intensely, and she wondered if one day anybody would desire her again. Her hands traced down through the naked stomach and caressed the area where the uterus hid behind, feeling the softness of her own skin. And cried. Cried because it pained her to not know what would happen from now on. Soon she wouldn’t have that abdomen, or these breasts, or these hips. Sooner or later, Lena would have to get used to the changes and accept them, because that was the only option.

She sobbed and closed her eyes. She had to remain calm, take deep breaths. That’s when her phone rang and the tension of the moment vanished. She reached for her phone and frowned in hesitancy, unknown number.

“Yes?” she answered the call, rapidly washing her face and looking for her bath oil.

“Lena, it’s Alex” she heard the familiar voice on the other side “I hope you don’t mind, I asked my sister for your number.”

“Did she get home fine?” she asked in concern.

“Yes, she went to bed already” the other woman explained “everyone dished after you two left and Maggie and I, well… doesn’t matter.”

“I’m sorry for ruining your night” Lena said, upset. She had ruined many people’s nights.

“Don’t worry about it” the redhead sighed “I wanted to know if you’d like to… go out. My night wasn’t the best after they left and I think I need to drink something stronger.”

“You do know I’m not drinking, right?” she commented. What could have possibly happened in that meantime? There had barely been three hours since she had left the place.

“I said I need something strong, you can drink water or soda, I don’t know” Alex said, nervous, she didn’t know what to say or how to act around ‘new’ friends.

“Okay” how could she say no to her best friend’s sister? “did Kara say anything after she arrived?” she wanted to make sure the other woman didn’t know something else. She didn’t want to argue with more people.

“No, why?” her tone went up “did you two had a fight?”

“No…” she lied “I’m just… going to take a shower. Where do we meet?”

“I’ll message you the address” Alex confirmed in relief “see you soon.”

Lena hung up and sighed. What had her life become?

 

***

 

Lena thanked God for the place Alex decided to meet, it wasn’t strange or loud, she definitely couldn’t bear loud music. They chose a back table, farther from other people, the CEO noticed most of them were aliens. This fact made her body tense and alert, feeling threatened. No alien was a fan of her last name or her family in general, what if they recognized her? It would be a terrible mess, the sort of stress she was desperately trying to avoid. However, Alec assured her that nothing bad was going to happen and that no one there was looking for conflict. They all wanted the same thing: to drown their problems in alcohol.

“Have we come here to drink and stare at the green guy trying to play pool?” Lena asked in sarcasm, making the redhead roll her eyes.

“I bet you twenty bucks he will hit one of the tables over there” she pointed to the right.
“Deal” she gambled “but seriously, what are we doing here?”

“Does your life need a script and reason for everything?” Alex questioned before swallowing another shot of tequila. The Luthor wasn’t familiar with that side of the agent and was starting to get worried.

“It doesn’t, but I like to be in control of the facts.”

“Control” she laughed, ironic “seems scary, doesn’t it?”

“What do you mean?” Lena frowned, taking a sip of the soda she had ordered.

“Knowing precisely what is going to happen in your life, leaving your days like they are a project where each detail has been studied, calculated, and programmed” Alex sighed “aren’t you scared you’ll never feel things again? I mean, how can you be surprised, be happy to hear unexpected news or to be accepted into college, or even hearing the yes from the person you love” Lena got quiet, thoughtful “aren’t you ever tired of always being in control, being alert, always trying to keep things right?”

Those words hit her guts hard, she was quick to answer

“I don’t know a thing about coincidences or randomnesses, or even about surprises” Lena laughed at herself. Being pregnant was the biggest surprise she had had in her twenty five years of life, besides Lex going insane “all my life was programmed after Lionel took me home. I had the same teachers as my brother, the same expectations, the same plans, same colleges, same priorities. The two only surprises and unexpected events of my life were Lex and this pregnancy.”

“You know, you don’t have to face this subject like it’s a bad thing” she said in a serious tone “but I get it, actually, I just get it superficially. I don’t understand, I’ve never been through this.”

“How am I supposed to face it, then?” she asked curiously, heart almost beating out of her chest “how am I supposed to deal with the biggest change I could ever be through? “ Lena raised her voice.

“Hey, I’m not here to tell you what you should do” she pointed out “you’re like me, Lena, don’t think we’re too different” Alex laughed, her sobriety was questionable.

“What do you mean?”

“We both built a huge wall of bulletproof glass around ourselves” she pushed the glasses away and sighed “you know how to care, how to be affectionate, how to speak softly with how you love and treats you well like it is programmed like we had been trained to be like that since we were children, but the truth is that we don’t allow ourselves to feel” she turned her eyes to the clumsy alien by the pool table “it’s how we protect ourselves. You do it all, interact and smile, but you’re on one side of the wall, while others live freely and smile from the outside. At the end of the day, you’re alone and you know that nothing hit you, no one hurt you and nothing made you feel alive.”

Lena didn’t know what to say. She didn’t even know how to react. Alex looked as vulnerable as her, almost drunk, and surrendered. But her words were too real, too sharp and they hit deep. It was almost like the redhead really knew her, knew her too well.

“When I realized I was in love with Maggie I thought it was wrong” she kept going “I fought against it, I even tried to convince myself otherwise, tried to change my mind about my ‘new’ sexuality” Alex laughed ironically “do you know how afraid I was?” Lena shook her head “Maggie made me step out of this glass dome, she helped me understand that I didn’t have to, that I don’t have to keep myself from feeling.”

“I’m scared of feeling” Lena whispered, warm salted tears running through her cheeks “I’m scared of what I’d be capable of if I feel something.”

“It’s terrifying” she confirmed “especially when you don’t have a choice, you have to leave because someone broke down those walls.

“My body was the only thing that belonged to me, Alex” she sobbed “the only thing no one had any power over or had tried to break through. My mom always ruled over what I had to eat, read, study, do and my father didn’t even pay attention. Lex always tried to see my side but in the end, he went insane and tried to convince me to do the same, without even caring if I wanted to, or not. Nothing in my life was ever mine and when I realized I could have a little bit of control, I started calculating and predicting every step I’d take. Alex, my body was always mine, even when everything had gone wrong at least I still belonged to myself. At the end of the day, I could stare at a mirror and know that at least that wasn’t taken away from me” she cleaned her face and tried to breathe “and now…”

“And now it was violated” Alex whispered, aware of the weight of those confessions.

“How can I accept everything to be taken away from me?” the question was much more to herself than for the other woman “how can I…”

“Look at me” the green eyes met the brown and there was a flash of peace for one moment “you don’t have to accept it, you don’t have to let anyone take what’s yours by right. But accepting isn’t agreeing, accepting isn’t saying that what they did was right. Lena, this child isn’t coming to strip you away from your body” Alex continued “it is coming to remind you that it belongs only to you and that you’re capable of amazing things like creating life. It will make you realize you’re not alone and that you don’t have to ever be again, it will show you your body can be healed. From the inside to outside. Allow yourself to feel, Lena, let your heart rest” she reached for the Luthor’s hands and held them “you don’t have to leave your glass dome, but you have to realize there’s somebody inside, with you.”

Instinctively, she released one of her hands and stroked her belly, trying to feel something. Anything. What could all that mean? What would that change do to her routine, concepts, opinions, and plans? “Wait until the seventh month and then we’ll talk” it’s what her lawyer had said. She had been angry, enraged for not being able to do things her way.

“Have you ever been loved unconditionally?” Lena shook her head no “has anyone ever seen you as their whole world? Their reason to live? Has someone ever relied on you to keep living and still kept loving you?” she shook her head again “That’s what you’re going to feel. You may think your body is all you have but for this baby, you are all it has at this moment. Think about it.”

With her hand still on her belly, Lena closed her eyes and cried. Feeling hurt and allowing herself to do so hurt even more. But maybe…maybe it wouldn’t hurt forever

Chapter 4: I'm not human (but I can fall apart)

Notes:

Here's chapter 4, hope you enjoy it!

Chapter Text

“Alex?” Kara was startled as she found her sister sleeping on the couch on a Monday morning. Not that it was unusual, but most of the time Alex warned her before coming or at least let her know.

“Speak low and turn off those lights” she groaned, grumpy, and pulled a pillow to her face, sighing “turn off the lights, please.”

“It’s morning, Alex” the blonde crossed her arms and stared at her “and there are no lights on, besides the sunlight.”

“Shit!” she groaned again and sat up. She had to work, either way, had to go home, get changed before heading to the DEO “damn, you look awful” she commented, noticing her sister’s swollen eyes and exhausted face.

“Thanks, you look beautiful too” Kara groaned, sitting down next to her “why are you here? Did something happen?”

“I should ask you the same” Alex frowned “you don’t look well, what is going on?”

“Don’t change the subject” both of them were trying to change the subject.

“I’m the oldest, so spill” Alex never got tired of using the same tactic “c’mon, you know you can trust me.”

“Right” she sighed, barely knowing how to begin “I… Lena and I… shoot” Kara closed her eyes, remembering the night before “we kind of had an argument, it wasn’t a… fight, I think” she bit her lips “I don’t know, Alex, I just… wanted to help, to make her feel better or something like that, but… I can’t… I…”

“Take a deep breath” she stroke her sister’s shoulders “tell me what happened.”

“She wanted to get the adoption papers ready” Kara pouted “but her lawyer told her to wait until the seventh month because she could change her mind. And I asked her... if…”

“She could change her mind” Alex nodded in silence “I see.”

“Lena said she needed to be alone and she… she sent me away” she sighed, fighting the tears urging to come “and that… hurt, a lot.”

Alex took a deep breath and tried to absorb that confiding. It wasn’t simple and much less easy to mediate that situation, especially because she had never been through that or seen someone face something similar to it. Kara was her sister and she would do anything to help her, but the things Lena had told her weren’t hers to share. They had to talk and tell each other how they felt, instead of running away and hiding.

“Kara, dear, listen” she ignored the migraine in her head, also called hungover, and stared at those always so pretty blue eyes “I know you love your friend very much, I know that seeing her like that pains you, and I also know that you don’t fully understand her.” the blond frowned. Alex was speaking greek to her “Lena has been through many things, things that you won’t ever know unless she tells you. You must understand that pregnancy doesn’t always bring happy feelings and moments” Alex explained “try to treat Lena with more patient, more understanding, and even with more love. I know, it’s complicated, but maybe you’re thinking too much about the child and forgetting who’s carrying it” she smiled fondly “be patient, Kara.”

“It’s so hard for me to understand and I swear I’m trying” she sobbed “just wanted… wanted to show her she’d not alone and she doesn’t have to be” Kara confided in distress “it hurts me so much, Alex, more than… kryptonite” that caught the redhead off guard.

“Tell her the truth, Kara” Alex hugged her sister, letting her cry on her shoulder. It crushed her heart to see her so broken

“I can’t, I can’t” she tightened her arms on the other woman’s waist “I can’t…”

“Why not?” she murmured.

“Because I can’t lose her, I can’t risk everything and…” Kara sobbed “and I…” her chest ached and she could feel her emotions getting out of control “that would be…:

“Kara, deep breaths…” she placed a gentle kiss on the blonde hair. Alex had never seen her so desperate and hurt. It wasn’t normal, it wasn’t usual for that to happen.

“I have to go” she got up fast after hearing a siren pass by the neighborhood “I have… have to go and you need to work” the kryptonian cleaned her face quickly and ran to her bedroom.

“Kara…” Alex got up and the room spun. Fucking hungover “Kara, come back… you don’t have to…”

Too late. As she got to her sister’s bedroom she caught a glimpse of a cape flying through the window and disappeared through the buildings of the city. On the clock, it wasn’t even past seven in the morning and the young Danvers had already forgotten breakfast, another sign saying she wasn’t well. Completely unwell. The redhead sat back on the couch and sighed, she didn’t know how to help or how to counsel her sister, that situation was so absurd that even her brain was getting confused. Ignoring her thoughts, she decided to take a shower before leaving for the DEO.

Maybe a little action could help her relax while the world around her was falling apart

 

***

 

Supergirl distracted herself for some time before going back to the base and her mood still hadn’t improved. Winn tried to cheer her up, talking about things the blonde usually enjoyed and even said they could go buy donuts from her favorite bakery. But nothing happened. Kara was barely able to hold a conversation or keep focus in a dialogue. J’onn noticed the hero’s tiredness, mentally and psychologically. Alex, who arrived shot after she left the apartment, kept quiet and watched her sister vanish through those many corridors.

If dealing with bad guys and aliens was tough, dealing with two women who were watching their lives fall apart was tougher. No one could do a lot or say things that would make things just right. Kara was scared and unable to say it out loud, at least for now. Keeping things to herself was her defense mechanism and that didn’t always do her good. Usually, she did it to protect the people she loved, to keep them safe and sound, and then forgetting to take care of her own beating heart and tired body. But how could she put all the dread and distress out there? No one had ever taught her how just like no one had ever told her how much it hurts not knowing what to do.

That’s why Supergirl went somewhere she could find peace, even though she wouldn’t get any answers. However, she expected that perhaps her anger and pain would diminish, that they’d be at least bearable and would let her think straight. Being filled with anguish suffocated her, it burned her deep down and tore her skin from inside out. Like kryptonite. It ached and she wanted to scream. She needed to scream. Closing the door behind herself, the hero turned the rectangular dispositive in front of her on and it quickly showed the image of a woman dressed in blue, long black hair falling on her shoulders. Her mother.

“Anything you wish to ask Alura, you may ask me” the image repeated the same programmed sentence, and for a few seconds, the kryptonian asked herself what she was doing there.

“I wanted you to be honest” Kara murmured, voice shaking.

“Be more specific” the frozen and inexpressive image of her mother answered with the mechanic voice.

“Why did you leave me?” she sobbed “why didn’t you let me stay?”

“I am not programmed to answer this.”

“Why didn’t you tell me it would hurt this much?” she raised her voice “tell me how it’s like to give up on who you love, tell me if it hurt you when you gave up on me like it was nothing!”

“I do not have enough information to give you an answer,” it repeated.

“How can I give up the only part of me?” she screamed “how? Tell me, mom! How can I be strong and watch someone I love to get lost and hurt herself? Why didn’t you tell it would be like this?” Kara sobbed, feeling her body lose control again “Lena is all I have! This child is all that I have left of Krypton, how can I ever let it feel the same way I do?”

“I am not programmed to answer this.”

“I also feel pain, mom!” she screamed “I bleed too, I fall and I also have a heart that can break! You couldn’t… you couldn’t…” the hero fell on her knees and hid her face behind her hands. Everything was suffocating her “you couldn’t send me here, expecting me to be human when you knew I’d have powers… you didn’t have the right” she sobbed “the responsibility… it… it hurts me, hurts who I love and you… you just… I don’t want to be brave…”

“Kara!” Alex walked into the dim room and stared at the figure resembling Alura, standing still, silent and unbothered. As always. “oh, Kara…” she got down and quickly held her sister in her arms “shhh, it will be okay…”

“No, Alex, it won’t…” she hid her face in the other’s arm “I’m so scared and I don’t like feeling this way” she sobbed “I can’t be weak… I can’t lose everything again, Alex… I don’t…”

“You won’t, you won’t” Alex repeated “you won’t” and kissed her hair, letting her tears stream.

“I couldn’t save them… I couldn’t…”

“Shhh, take a deep breath” she whispered tenderly “it wasn’t your fault.”

“Lena will never forgive me, but I can’t…” she repeated, weeping “this hurts so much, make it stop, Alex!”

“I wish I could, my love” she exhaled “look at me” Alex held her sister’s reddened and anguished face “you’re not responsible for anything that happened to your planet and your mother’s choices are not your fault. Take a deep breath” the blond nodded, trying to calm down “breathe with me, okay?”

Long minutes went by until Supergirl was able to calm down and breathe normally. Her eyes were still red, her face was stained with tears and her hands were shaking, this had never happened before. Fear might be capable of making the body react in strange and unexpected ways. Kara didn’t know how to deal with that, with the fact that she was so scared that her sight was clouded, getting in the way of her thinking. That ache in her chest wouldn’t stop and that exhausted her, in a way that she soon wouldn’t be able to bear.

Being strong demanded too much, being a hero, most of the time, led her to exhaustion. She always wanted to do the best for the planet that took her in so well and always wished to give the best of herself, to be the best version Kara had. Working at CatCo made her human but being Supergirl gave her a feeling that no one could take away, not the way they had taken her planet. That was the way of keeping Kryton alive. Flying gave her a sentiment of freedom as if she could fly back home in Argo City as if she could fulfill her dreams of seeing her friends one more time. Sometimes she would go so high she was almost able to touch the universe around Earth or even almost hold a star.

“Take the day off” Alex finally spoke.

“No” Kara persisted “I don’t want to stay home.”

“And you won’t” she smiled “you will leave here, get changed and you’ll spend the rest of the day with Lena, got it?”

“Lena? She’s… working, isn’t she?” the hero questioned.

“She also took the day off” she lied. In reality, Lena was sick and Alex knew that because she had texted earlier, asking if the CEO was fine after the night before, but she didn’t want her sister to know they had talked. Not yet. “C’mon” Alex helped her up.

“I don’t want to go looking like this…” Kara sighed “Lena is already dealing with a lot.”

“Get changed and show her you’re also trying to understand the situation” she said “now go, and let me know when you get there.”

“Alex” she smiled weakly at her sister “thank you.”

The redhead hugged her one more time and promised herself that she would do whatever she could to never see Kara so broken again. She felt angered by the whole situation, she felt useless for not knowing what to do and being unable to organize that chaos. She wanted to ask Alura if she thought her actions through if she considered what Kara wanted or thought because that still pained her sister. So many lies and so many secrets, nothing ever worked out if you’re honest.

 

***
Lena woke up that morning and went straight to the bathroom, head aching, and stomach complaints. She couldn’t understand why that happened, she hadn’t anything out of the ordinary after she arrived home. Okay, maybe she did try to eat a cereal bar that would spoil soon, but she didn’t think that would cause a whole reaction of disgust in her body. It was like that child didn’t approve of her healthy eating choices. Damn it. She was tired and annoyed, nerves on the edge, and had a sore throat. She waited for her blood pressure to go back to normal and walked back to bed. Without any strength to lift a finger without throwing everything up.

She called Jess and warned she wasn’t going to L-Corp in the morning but would try to show up in the afternoon. She also asked for her to send all the documents and to forward the most important emails to her account, she was going to read them as soon as she got better. As she tossed the phone aside, the Luthor shrank underneath the blanket, still feeling a cold sweat stream, the body shaking, and slept. Her mind was grateful for the resting, as were her feet. She couldn’t even think of wearing one of her tourney skirts and always so high heels.

No, she definitely wouldn’t put herself to deal with slow men and tight clothes.

The conversation from the day before exhausted her. Venting, crying, feeling. The feeling was tiring. She never thought she’d talk to her best friend’s sister, the person who first judged her as Luthor, the woman whose fiance arrested her. What was happening to her life? Why was it all changing? Not that it was a bad thing to talk to the agent, it was still weird and well, she apologized and was extremely honest. Something the Luthor truly values. It was hard to find people like that these days. However, even with the unusual date last night, Lena didn’t figure out why Alex was drinking to forget. What did she want to forget?

At the end of the night, the redhead was in no shape of putting two and two together. Because of that, the CEO didn’t let her drive and took her to her best friend’s apartment, knowing Alex would be safe there. The redhead complained all the way there, saying she could take care of herself, that she didn’t need a nanny, and would be fine on her own. However, if the Danvers wanted to be stubborn, Lena could easily beat her at this game. No way she would let the sister of the person she loved the most in the world to be in danger or alone in that chaotic state. Never.

When the clock hit close to nine and a half, the dark-haired woman rolled over the bed and heard the bell ring. Grudgingly, she tossed the blanket aside and made her way to the kitchen first. Her mouth was dry and her lips were chapped, her throat was still sore due to the vomiting and her whole body felt like it was crushed before she fell asleep. The sentiment was the worst of all. She grabbed a water bottle and drank it in one gulp. feeling the cold liquid go down in relief. The bell rang one more time and only then Lena remembered she was going to get the door.

“Kara?” Lena looked at the blonde, who was carrying a brown purse and had hair falling on her face.

“Hey…” her voice resonated hoarsely, which made the other woman worried “I.. er, I came because…. I know I should have warned, but…” Lena noticed the lack of shining and brightness in those always so intense blue eyes, the dark circles under her eyes, and the weak way she was sighing “I just… just wanted to apologize for yesterday and… - she took a deep breath, avoiding tears and that was the cue the other woman had “and I… I think I just wanted a hug” her lips shook, she was so close to falling apart again.

“Oh, Kara” she pulled her in her arms, holding her tight and stroking her hair. She didn’t know what had happened and it never crossed her mind that her friend was going to feel bad for the little discussion the day before “It’s okay” she murmured.

“I’m sorry” she whispered. It was nice to have somewhere to find support, where she could feel safe again. Alex was the one who kept standing, but Lena was the one who’d let her fall and then would help her up. Kara didn’t always want to be on her feet, it pained her “I’m sorry…”

“Come, get in” Lena pulled her inside and closed the door. Guided her to the sofa and they both sat down “I wasn’t mad at you for yesterday, I just needed some time.”

“I know and I didn’t mean to force you to decide anything” Kara exhaled “I’m still trying to understand how you’re feeling and it’s confusing to me and I want to help you…” the other woman smiled, she had no idea why Kara was still friends with her. There was so much tenderness, affection, and gentleness and that sometimes she didn’t know how to deal with it. Lena was a Luthor after all, and they never deserved such special things like this.

“It’s okay, I’m still trying to understand too” Lena confessed, “aren’t you going to work today?” Kara denied.

“I’m not… feeling so well” oh, it was the first time the CEO heard that.

“You look so exhausted,” she said in concern “you need to rest. Why didn’t you go home?”

“Because I didn’t want to be alone” she looked down and fidgeted with her fingers “and I… I wanted…” she sighed “nevermind.”

“You can tell me, Kara” she reached her hands and intertwined their fingers “that’s what friends are for, right?” Lena smiled and the blonde agreed, although still frowning.

“I wanted a hug” she confessed in embarrassment. Kara felt stupid but hugs were her favorite form of affection. When two people put their hearts close to one another. She wanted to feel her friend’s heart

“Come with me” she got up and reached out for the blonde. Kara reached back not understanding and walked with her to her room, which still had an unmade bed. She had only been there a few times and could count them on her fingers. In all of them, it was very organized.

Lena wasn’t sure of what she was doing or if she was breaking some rules in her friendship. She hoped she wasn’t. She didn’t understand relationships, especially friendships. She never had friends. However, seeing Kara almost fall apart in front of her made her realize she had a side which she didn’t know or even had the faintest idea it existed. Everybody knows that human beings can fall and break, it is natural for the species and it is expected for it to happen. Flesh and bone, it the basic structure. Heart, soul, and emotions. That was the most intrinsic and fragile composition of the human being.

Kara also had a soul, a heart, and emotions. She too could break, and that scared her. It scared her because her friend was always the meaning of light and good moods, of joy and positivity and perseverance. Her faith was what made herself believe that she was a Luthor better than her family, which made her insist on what she wanted and fight for a better world, even though no one cared. That’s why, giving her one of her favorite pajamas, Lena asked the blonde to get changed and to lay down. They both needed to close their eyes and shut off their minds, just letting the hours go by.

The younger Danvers nodded as she got the clothes and went to the bathroom. She was very grateful it was all dark, she didn’t know if Lena would recognize her secret identity, but it had never happened before. They had slept on each other’s homes, never together, for the kryptonian knew well how the CEO cared for her personal space and she’d never cross a line. But now, there she was, ready to lay in a bed with her best friend and beside her. Lena was much more than she imagined of herself she felt lucky for being the only person who knew her heart so well. Of course, knowing the heart and knowing the soul and very different things, but the blonde was patient. At some point, she would tell her the truth and at some other point, Lena would tell her how she felt.

All at its given time.

They laid down and, although it was almost ten in the morning, the room was still dark as the night. Kara felt the softness of the silk on her skin and the sweet smell on the sheet. Everything there was so personal that she wished she’d never leave. However, she was aware she didn’t have a choice, because she knew that when the truth came out, Lena would ask her to go and would never want to see her again. It was the price to pay for all her fears and for the pain that lived at the bottom of her soul. Hence, Kara decided to ignore these thoughts, and the creeping need to cry and tried to hold on that moment.

She was able to hear the heart of the two people she loved most in the world and that was the best sound of her life. It helped her relax.

“C’mon” the other woman moved and opened her arms.

“... Closer?” Kara questioned, confused.

“You need a hug” Lena explained “let it at least be the longest one can give you”

So she moved and hugged her friend’s warm and comforting body, letting her breath normalize and her heartbeat steady in that sentiment of affection. Sleeping with someone after sex was nice, knowing they cared enough to stay and let you process the moment. However, that was truly intimacy and went farther than any sexual relationship. It was proximity without any second intentions, it was seeing each other souls without talking. It was understanding you don’t always have to be alone behind your walls.

 

***

 

When they woke up the clock was reading almost one in the afternoon and their stomachs roared together, making them laugh.

“Are you feeling better?” Kara nodded positively “what was that bag you were carrying?”

“Ah!” her face lit up and she got up, racing to the living room and back. Kara threw them back on the bed and opened it, letting all the books fall on the mattress “I found these books and thought... I thought it might help you?

“And they’re about?” she lifted her eyebrows, observing a cover and its title.

“Pregnancy” Kara frowned. Afraid she might be crossing a line again “they’re not about the child or something like that...they’re more like ventings and stories of many mothers and the hardest choices they have to make. They show a not so glamorous side of pregnancy and how it not only affects the mother’s life” she coughed, nervous “I… er, I hope you won’t be mad... if you don’t want to read them I…

“Kara” Lena smiled and held her hand. “I loved it, truly.”

“I know Seedy is important” she confessed “but so are you…”

“Your little friend will be very upset hearing this and I’ll be the one to suffer the consequences” she teased.

“Oh, no!” she snorted “please, don’t be mad” again, her hands moved towards her friend’s belly, but she backed down “you have got to understand that Lena also needs attention, Seedy” she whispered. The other woman noticed how Kara wanted to touch her again and her heart raced.

“Allow yourself to feel, Lena, let your heart rest” Alex’s voice echoed in her head “Allow yourself to feel”

“Give me your hand” Lena spoke suddenly and the blonde frowned.

“My hand?” she nodded and so Kara extended her right hand. Lena took it and placed in on her lower belly and pressured it there. Her body quickly responded to the warm touch.

“This is where my uterus is” she explained and then let the hands fall a little lower “and this is where Seedy is” the younger Danvers didn’t know what to say, but she could listen to her child’s heartbeats as she traced her fingers on Lena’s pale soft skin.

“Does it hurt?” Lena shook her head in denial “hey, Seedy” she whispered “your mom is the best person in the whole world” the CEO tried to hold the tears back but it was impossible “are you crying? I didn’t mean to make you cry, did I hurt you?”

“No, no” she dried the tears and sighed “it’s the damned hormones.”

“Let’s fo something that will cheer you up, get dressed, put on some comfortable shoes” Kara ordered, getting up.

“And where are we going?” she arched an eyebrow, not wanting to leave home only to get hot and stressed.

“To eat” her stomach roared in response “that’s right Seedy, eating” the blond teased, causing Lena to roll her eyes “don’t worry, we’re not walking too long and are not going to be out too long”

The Luthor went for a shower while the blonde got changed in the room and made the bed. She made sure to let everything very organized, for she knew that even feeling tired or unwell Lena would find a way to tide up that mess. It had been some time since she wanted to take her friend to one of her favorite places, one which helped herself overcome many obstacles when she moved from Midvale to National City. She intended to make this the best place for her friend as well, who knows, maybe they could start to go together and maybe even do it frequently. She then called a friend who worked in the place and planned it out.

Both of them left the apartment and Lena called in the driver, there was no way she would walk in that burning sun or any other Sun. They were dropped in front of an old theatre that the CEO hadn’t the vaguest idea it existed. Kara also didn’t say a thing about what they were going to eat or do, but she hoped it wasn’t going to be anything big or that it would make her emotional. She was done with crying for no reasonable reason. The blonde guided her to the entrance hall, where they could see enormous stairs surrounded by a wood handrail with golden details. The theatre looked abandoned or at least unused, she couldn’t tell, she wasn’t the kind of woman to go to plays or things like that.

By their side, photos and pictures of old performances were hanging on the walls. Children, women, and elders, all holding some kind of musical instrument or in front of a microphone. It was possible to smell the humidity, the dust and that was the reason why that place was dying. However, there was something in it that made her feel a different energy, something good and intense. A soft melody echoed from far away but still made itself heard.

“Hey, Jordan” Kara greeted a tall man.

“Here’s your order, mademoiselle,” he said charmingly, taking his beret off and smiled “just like you ordered’

“I didn’t order, I asked pretty please” the blonde frowned and took the brownish package from his hand.

“Are you going to introduce me?” he pointed to her friend.

“Oh, yes, sorry” she coughed “Jordan, this is Lena and Lena, Jordan,” she said. The Luthor smiled politely and shook his hand.

“Finally I can meet you,” he said excitedly “I was beginning to think you were only from her imagination” he looked at Kara, who immediately blushed.

“Jordan!” she snorted “Did you do what I asked?” she changed the subject. Lena just crossed her arms and stood there, observing their interactions, too interested in what was happening.

“Perfectly” he smiled gallantly, what bothered the CEO “follow me” he made the way “you’re lucky Nora came to practice today, she had been in a bad mood this last month” he commented.

“Are you sure she won’t mind? I don’t want to bother” Kara asked, concerned.

“Of course not, she adores you!” he exclaimed “besides, who would be bothered by your company?” the blonde felt the flush again.

The three of them got into the enormous saloon, where all the armchairs were organized in fixated lines and in front of them, a wooden stage was surrounded by a thick purple velvet curtain. A few instruments rested on the floor or in supports, it was also possible to see what was left from some scenarios and clothes hanged on distorted iron bars. It was like everything was stuck in time and they walked into a victorian theatre. On the left side of the stage, a sweet middle-aged woman with red hair wais playing a simple melody on the piano.

“Make yourselves comfortable and enjoy” Jordan left them after pointed to two specific armchairs. They were bigger than the others and looked a lot like royal thrones.

“Thank you, Jordan” she smiled at the friend “let’s sit”

“Where exactly are we?” Lena murmured, trying not to disturb the musician.

“This used to be National City’s most famous theater in the seventy’s and eighty’s but it was forgotten after the movies took the spotlight” she explained “especially after the city grew”

“And why do you come here?” she questioned, snuggling the soft sit. She thanked heaven for the opportunity to sit down.

“The music helps me relax and forget other noises” she confessed. Lena may not be aware of her super hearing, but she said the truth “it’s like there was no other sound, I know that the walls are protected, but still… it’s like a little escape” she gave a weak smile.

Lena analyzed her friend differently at that moment. The blonde was quieter than usual, more introspected, and even a bit sadder. Still, the light behind her ocean eyes was shinning, she could tell. Being in that theater meant something new, meant a step deeper into their one year old friendship. She wanted to ask Kara what she was escaping from, what sounds she didn’t want to hear, and why she needed to get away like that. But she kept silent.

“Let’s eat and I’ll tell you a story” she opened the package and took out two pieces of pie “this one is mine and this one is yours” she handed the pot.

“Why?” her stomach almost jumped out as she smelled the food.

“Olives” Kara frowned, making Lena laugh.

“Do you hate everything that is green?” she teased.

“All but your eyes” she spoke without thinking and her face immediately reddened. “I… er… I didn’t mean…”

“I’m glad you like my eyes, Kara” she smiled tenderly, but deep inside her heart was screaming “Tell me the story”

“Right” she cleared her throat “this melody that is playing is from a movie that is based on the primordial concepts of the romanticism school” Kara explained, “it tells the story of a sad guy who didn’t have any control of his life and was forced to marry a girl he didn’t know. His parents were rich and, theoretically, so were the girl’s parents” she sighed “but in reality, their families were both greedy and sordid, not caring what their children wanted.

“Seems awful” Lena commented. Although she did know what it was like to have rich greedy parents and no control over her own life.

“It is” she sighed “in the wedding day, he was so nervous that he got all the phrases of his vows wrong and that, at the time, was almost a heresy” she swallowed another piece of pie before carrying on “So Victor ran to the woods and there until he calmed down, he knew he was in trouble and so he decided to say his vows again until he had it word by word” the melody continued to resonate through the saloon and Lena noticed she was truly relaxed, almost forgetting all her troubles and everything outside of that theater “but after he finished it, he put the ring in a branch of a tree or at least that’s what he thought. But it wasn’t a branch it was a corpse’s finger.” Kara simpered.

“That’s.... macabre” she frowned.

“I have a point, let me carry on” Lena nodded and Kara continued “the problems started there because you can’t break a wedding vow and now he was promised to a dead woman. The story now follows on two scenarios: the living world, where everything is colorless, grey and blue, and the dead world, where everything is colorful and ironically alive” she explained “Emily, the corpse bride was happy for finally finding someone but the truth was that Victor didn’t love her. And that hurt” she sighed “Victor loved Victoria and wanted to go back to her, not caring how the other woman felt, after all, she wasn’t supposed to feel a thing. She was dead” Kara looked to the pianist as if she was imagining what it must feel like to love someone and no be loved back “but this is what the movie is about, it’s physical death, not emotional, it’s the exact opposite from the living. It’s like saying joy only comes with death because you don’t worry about what you have any more, you can’t carry anything to the end.”

“I never thought about it like that” Lena sighed “but it is a beautiful philosophy, thinking that while we’re living we’re more concerned about surviving than enjoying it.

“My favorite part of the movie is when Emily realizes she has no chance against the other woman” Kara smiled sadly “they’re from different worlds, different conceptions, and different realities. She could play the piano and dance while Victori couldn’t even leave home by herself because it wasn’t appropriate. But Victoria could breathe, she had pink cheeks and Emily didn’t have any of that, she had lost everything” just like I did, she wanted to add. She looked back at Lena “So in one night she sings: if I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain. If you cut me with a knife it’s still the same, yet I feel my heart is aching Though it doesn’t bet it’s breaking… for that, I still have some tears to shed…

Lena let those words sink in her heart, unsure of what she was feeling.

Opposite to the Luthor, the blonde wished to tell her exactly what each verse made her feel and how she truly felt deep inside. She wasn’t dead like Emily, but sometimes she felt everyone treated her like she was. Yes, it touched a burning candle she would feel no pain, the same went if someone cut her with a knife. But Kara felt her heart hurt and even though she was the girl of steel, her heart and body was flesh and bones, like any other person. She could cry and no one would notice. Emily might be dead but Kara was very much alive. She too could have a broken heart.

“What happened in the end?” the CEO broke the silence.

“Emily gave up on trying something that could never work out, the marriage was on until death did them apart, but death had already done that” Kara sighed “Still, she sacrificed herself for Victor’s happiness and found the freedom she desired, proving that she still had the fire to keep loving.”

“It’s sad, but… it’s also hopeful” she said, still moved by the tale “each person builds their concept of love and I can’t say I know mine” her hand instinctively went to her belly.

Love.

“Have you ever been loved unconditionally?” she heard Alex’s voice echo again through her memory. Truth was, Lena didn’t know a thing about love. So, they both stayed in grave silence and enjoyed the rest of the melody, letting their mind rest and bodies relax.

 

***

 

“Where are we going?” the CEO asked as they went down the theater’s stairs, towards a nearby shopping mall.

“Seedy needs an ice cream” she smirked, making Lena arch an eyebrow “I maybe I need one too.”

“Ah, of course” she snorted “you two will plot against me.”

“I told you, now they’re my best friend” Kara teased “why are you making this face since we left?”

“You don’t realize how much that Jordan likes you” the little Danvers froze before walking through the door.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s so obvious” Lena rolled her eyes, getting in first, in desperate need for the air conditioner relief “the way he treats you, smiles to you, and does everything you ask him to.”

“You also do everything I ask you to.” she pointed out, trying desperately to change the subject and not even realizing what she had just said. Lena crossed her arms and made a smug face.

Two can play this game.

“I hope I have more chances than him” Lena smirked “A Luthor hates to lose.”

“What? lose what?” she was confused “you’re my best friend and has all the chances you want…” her eyes went wide open as she realized what they were talking about “no! I mean… yes, but… oh, Rao, I mean...God!” Kara said lowly “Jordan is just, Jordan he doesn’t stand a chance.”

“I’m glad” she murmured, leaving the subject aside. She didn’t want to ask why she could have all the chances she wanted.

“Look, Lena!” Kara pointed out a baby store “it’s so tiny” she stopped in front of the glass and pointed a finger to a red shoe “this fits a baby’s foot?”

“I suppose so,” she said while observing other products.

There were shirts, dresses, jumpsuits and a variety of shoes. The Luthor wondered if a baby needed all that stuff, like three kinds of feeding bottles or five soothers in different colors. But truth be told, what did she know about pregnancy, babies, or being a mother? It was an unknown world.

The CEO noticed a pair of blue sandals matching a sailor’s hat, or how that little white dress with yellow flowers would go well with the white shoes. It was like doll clothes, she thought to herself, like playing house. But, once again, she never even had the opportunity to play that when she was young. Lilian always said the world raised women to be smaller than men, to stay home, taking care of their children, and not be able to use their brains to object to some of the husband’s actions. Yet she wished she had the opportunity to know what it was like to pretend to be a mother, since now she couldn’t escape this reality.

“Do you… do you want to go inside?” Kara asked, seeing her friend so focused on a pair of clothes “we don’t have to get anything or… anyway if you think you… can’t, or…”

“Sure” she answered honestly, there was no harm in trying.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to” she intertwined their fingers, smiling tenderly.

“I want to” Lena smiled back and they walked in. The store was bigger than it looked.

It was divided into sections, the clothes were separated by estimated age, then came the hygiene and daily products, then the accessories, shoes and finally the toys. The furniture was placed in the back, alongside the strollers and many things Lena had no idea existed. Things like: a bathtub thermometer or different nipples for the baby bottle. Didn’t the baby have only one mouth? Also, she thought they were breastfed most of the time and only used baby bottles after they were a bit older. Theoretically, what she knew, was that the breastfeeding went until two years at least. In other words, she was confused.

 

“They’re so little” she took a shirt and put it in front of her body “how does that fit?”

“It’s supposed to be for someone 10% your height, Kara” she smiled at her friend’s excitement.

“What is this for?” she grabbed a small bombing machine connected to a baby bottle.

“This is for bombing the milk out of the mother” a friendly lady approached “may I help you? Are you looking for something specific?”

“And you can get the milk out?” Kara, was still very entertained with the ‘toy’ “how does it work?”

“Here, take this end and put it to your breast” Lena blushed immediately and but her lips “it sucks the milk out and it goes straight to the baby bottle, see?”

“This is so much fun!” Lena wanted to shove her face in her hands “I’d definitely have one”

“Are you pregnant?” the lady asked.

“No, maybe one day” Kara tried not to be nervous and Lena noticed.

“I am” she confessed, “thank you for your help.”

“Anything you need, call me” she smiled nicely and walked away.

“I’m sorry about that” the blonde murmured while they walked to the other side. “Lena?”

The Luthor had stopped in front of a section with various jumpsuits, one of which was written ‘Mommy is my hero’. And that was too much, especially when the one beside it said ‘Mommy’s kiss heals any hurt’. Feeling like a hero was something Lena always wanted, even though she didn’t have any powers or anything that made her different from every other human being. Knowing that someday someone was going to consider her to be the most powerful person in the world because she was going have a kiss that healed or that would see her as the strongest or the smartest simply because she was able to reach the top shelf or open a bottle of olives or even finding a toy underneath their bed it made her heart feel something more. Something she couldn’t put into words.

Her fingers lingered on the soft cloth and her eyes couldn’t help read that sentence again and the CEO rapidly imagined the fragile and small body of a baby that would look just like her. What must it feel like? To look at someone and know they’re biologically a part of you? That they’re alive because you kept them safe for nice months, you feed them, cared for them. Her hand caressed her belly and she closed her eyes, allowing tears to fall.

This is still my body, she repeated to herself in silence. It’s still mine. Just like this child is mine.

“Lena” Kara waited until her friend opened her eyes “It’s going to be okay, you don’t have to be afraid” she spoke in a soothing tone, noticing how she was still touching the clothing “do you want to take it?” the other woman nodded, not having the courage to way it out loud.

Without second thoughts, the blonde puller the other close and hugged her, letting her hide her face in her shoulder. She didn’t know what it was like to be going through many changes but she certainly knew how changes were scary. It was how she felt when she first arrived on Earth when she had to adapt to a new family and a new life.

“I’m sorry” Lena whispered, her hands in her belly face still hidden “I just...it’s like I have so many tears to cry on a weekly basis” she laughed nervously, making the young Danvers smile.

“Feel free to cry anytime you want” she sniggered “which one?” she lifted the little clothes. The other woman blushed and bit her lips again.

“Both” Lena murmured feeling embarrassed.

“Good, I was ready to convince you to take all of them” she joked “and this one will be my gift to you” Kara took one that was completely yellow and had a blue jumpsuit in the front and came with a matching yellow hat with brown glasses on top of it.

“A minion?” the CEO arched her eyebrows.

“One time you told me Luthors didn’t have friends” she smiled “they have minions.”

Yeah, she had a point.

Chapter 5: Everyone has bad days

Notes:

Chapter 5
Enjoy!

Chapter Text

“Miss Luthor” Jess walked into the room and stared at the CEO “Miss Danvers is here to see you.”

“Kara?” she asked, confused. As far as she knew her friend was still working, even though it was past seven in the night. Honestly, the Luthor always thought her work hours were strange. If Kara reprimanded her for always being at L-Corp until late, her schedule as a reporter deserved the same criticism.

“No, it’s me” Alex showed up behind the secretary, partially smiling.

“Alex, I wasn’t… please, come in” she got up a bit stunned, unsure of how to react, she thanked Jess and asked the lady to go home.

In those two weeks that passed, she and the older Danvers continued to talk through text messages but never really went out again. It was weird, if not bizarre. Lena didn’t know what to say or expect from that friendship. If she could call it that. Kara was her best friend, they saw each other frequently, talked about everything, and felt comfortable in each other company, free from judgment. However, Alex was truly a complex incognito for her to figure out.

Usually, they talked about things they knew they wouldn’t say to anyone face to face. This easiness appeared after their first conversation in the pub alongside the fact that they knew each other more than they wanted to. When she gave it too much thought, the Luthor felt exposed, almost as if she was in danger. She had never spoken so openly to someone after knowing them for a few minutes and only on their first night out together. Sure, Lena had gone out with her best friend’s sister before, but it was different from being surrounded by their other friends. Now she was her one company for the night.

The topics they approached always started with work and ended up inventing. Although she knew she was crossing her lines, the CEO just couldn’t say how she was feeling to the redhead. It seemed so easy, so comfortable, and relieving. Having her on the other side of a screen, without having to face her, was recomforting and gave her uncommon courage. Sure, courage that only made her feel more like a coward, but still, it was braveness. Besides, it wasn’t just her who was opening up and venting. Alex also lets some confessions, fears, and desires out. Slowly, they were both relaxing, never admitting this was a friendship.

They were too proud to admit it. Hence none of them you asked each other on a night out, until today.

“Sorry to drop by like this, actually I’m not quite sure why I did” she said exasperated “I hope I’m not disturbing anything.”

“No, of course not “ she pointed to the white couch and they both sat down “Did something happen? Is it Kara?” the redhead smirked and rolled her eyes.

“You think I’d only come because of my sister?” she snorted.

“No… it’s not that, I just…” she sighed “I’m not quite sure what we’re doing here but neither of us is particularly good at it.”

 

“You’re right” Alex went quiet until she gathered the courage to say something again. “I need to let some stress out and you’re the only person I know who won’t ask too many questions.”

“So I’m your last option?” she teased “I’m a pregnant lady so you should be careful with what you say.”

“Don’t talk shit, Luthor” she smiled “first of all I came so this should count as a positive point, and second if we’re using this pregnancy as an excuse then I’m obliged to ask you if you’ve eaten anything after midday.” she crossed her arms and stared at the other woman. Lena sighed, disappointed she lost the discussion, and rolled her eyes, giving in.

“And that’s why every health professional only recommends one Danvers per lifetime” she groaned and Alex let out a laugh “and where do you intend on taking me tonight, agent Danvers? Let it be known I’m not an ‘everywhere’ woman.”

“Yes, I know it so Miss Luthor” teasingly, she continued “you’re not any woman, I assume, and neither am I. Don’t underestimate me.” She winked.

“Such a mysterious tease” she smiled playfully “do remember who is the mother of this child” she kept going as she got up and took her things “Supergirl might show up if you cross any line.”

“Do remember she works for me” provoked “and she wouldn’t dare to defy me.”

“Intimidating, Danvers?”

“More than you can imagine, Luthor.”

That was the way they both dealt with nervousness and the lack of control the situation had. It was comical, once they both were terrible at personal relationships and even worse when those involved having to show who they were. Alex hated not knowing what was going to happen, that feeling of “unknownness” made her invulnerable. The same went for the CEO, who hated losing control of what she did or felt because it let her guard down, and usually when that happened, she wasn’t able to defend herself. That’s why, they liked the jokes, the teasing and they knew that was their only way to keep themselves aware of any rupture that new friendship might suffer.

They made their way in silence, hearing only the radio playing silly songs. The redhead drove to her favorite place, never telling the other woman where they were heading, and parked in front of it. It wasn’t a well-located space, although it was near the center of National City, it didn’t seem very crowded. Lena could notice some motorbikes parked on the sidewalk, there was a bar not very far and an exit on the end of the avenue that headed to a road to Metropoles. A city that Lena didn’t want to go back to soon, even though it was her home town.

She was internally hoping that the place wasn’t going to be noisy or crowded with aliens, not over prejudice, but because she knew someone would recognize her - which wasn’t very hard - and try to harm them. As they went into the hall, she noticed a bar to their left that looked a bit eventful, if you were to compare it with the lack of vehicles parked outside. Alex smiled at a guy covered in tattoos and slightly high as if she was a usual client and held the Luthor’s hand, trying to pass over some confidence. It wasn’t like the CEO didn’t trust her, but she definitely wouldn’t put her life in that agent’s hands.

Another guy approached them, this time a sober one, looking like he owned the place.

“Rough day, Danvers?” He shook their hands.

“One of those” she smiled “I need to de-stress.”

“Of course you do” he seemed excited “and you brought a different company tonight.”

“Oh, yeah” she turned to her side “this is Lena, she’s a… a.. - she looked at the other woman, unsure of her words, or lack of words.

“A friend of her sister.” Lena completed, not willing to define what exactly she’s and Alex’s relationship was. They weren’t friends, right? Not yet, she thought.

“Nice to meet you, a friend of her sister” he joked “here’s the key, you know how it works, no need to go through it again.”

“Thank you” she smirked, “and, you know when I leave…”

“Your drink will be waiting for you, I know, I know…” the guy laughed and then disappeared in the group playing cards on one of the tables.

“Should I be concerned that this is an illegal activity that satisfies your darkest desires and so you keep it a secret?” Lena asked curiously, hiding the fact she was a little scared too.

“I am an FBI agent, can’t have this luxury.” she teased, guiding them along the dim hallway.

“That is a luxury only us Luthor’s have.” She followed the other woman without complaint, hearing her stilettos echo from the floor to the walls and feeling a shiver through her spine. “And we both know you don’t work for the FBI.”

“Oh, you know my secret identity!” she faked a gasp.

“I have to know someone’s.” she joked.

“You do know how to ruin my good mood’ she sighed “what kind of dark joke was that?”

“What can I say?”

“That you’re a Luthor” she finished the sentence “and that doesn’t change anything for me.”

“I’m flattered, Miss Danvers, but I would like to know what are we doing in this dark room.” she looked around the darkness until Alex turned the lights on.

“Have you ever played dart, Luthor?” Lena soon saw all the cabinets where guns were displayed and pointed directly to little metal men on the other side. Protective headphones were on a small stand by her side.

“Usually I’m the target” she teased “is this where you come to relax?”

“Adrenaline makes me feel better” she confessed, “It doesn't have anything to do with some murderous desire, but it’s good to release anger and frustration in a… more intense way.” She took the Luthor’s belongings, placed them on the stand, and reached for two enormous guns on the locker “do you know how to shoot?”

“I suppose so” she took one gun “may I know why are we searching for adrenaline?”

“First we shoot, then we drink” she looked deadpanned at her “and only then I’ll be able to have a conversation.”

“Don’t forget I’m not drinking and it’s not by choice” she commented, putting on the headphones and loading the gun.

“This child is wise” she locked her knees and took the position to shoot “‘bossy like a Luthor.’”

“More like ‘correct like Supergirl’” she imitated Alex’s position, hearing the first shot echo through the room and go straight to the red spot on the metal man. “and I still have seven months ahead.”

“The whole life, if you want to” the redhead heard Lena shoot “It’s just a matter of letting yourself go and doing what you want, instead of allowing your fears to control you.”

“I thought we were going to talk about your problems” she sighed “I can’t even drink alcohol and use it as an excuse.”

“Leave that to me” she smiled and shot again “use your hormones as an excuse, it’s pretty convincing.”

“I have other ways of sounding convincing and I believe you’re not going to like it” Lena aimed and shot, the bullet hitting the exact center of the figure, impressing Alex.

“Are we competitive today?” she teased.

“Emotionally unstable, I’d say” Lena smirked “I’d never compete against you, I’m just an amateur.”

“You’re doing pretty well for an amateur.” the redhead continued “should I be concerned about the Luthor's raising? Was shooting one of your Middle School subjects?

“Yes, alongside it was right before “How to kill a Super” and afterward we had “How to be humanly incapable of real emotions.” she appealed for sarcasm again “The first one was also during High School too.”

“I love your sense of humor” Alex laughed ironically “makes me feel a little less fucked up.”

“Oh, you’re welcome, it’s why I’m here for” Lena rolled her eyes.

“How do they say it? ‘That’s what friends are for’” she joked “the most ridiculous phrase there is.”

“It doesn’t work with you because we’re not friends” another bullet flew, hitting one of the distant targets.

“No, we are not. You’re just a friend of my sister.” She smiled and Lena couldn’t help laughing, she turned to look at Alex “what?”

“Do you enjoy spending time with me?” Lenabluntly asked. Something that had been bothering her in the past two weeks “or are you just keeping me under your sight if I make a mistake?” she tried to go back to the irony.

“I don’t have to keep you around to arrest you” she kept shooting “and if you maybe had done something wrong, I am pretty sure that you’d be the first person to turn yourself in and confess. You can say whatever you want about Supergirl’s righteousness, but you two act and think a lot alike” Alex added, “and you’re nice-ish too.”

The Luthor raised her brow, almost outraged by that adjective.

“Don’t say -ish.” she went back to position and aimed.

“Are you angry-ish?” she teased, making the other woman laugh “C’mon Lena, just accept the fact that I like spending time with you.”

“I’ll believe it but only because you used my first name.” she shot “but I still want to know what happened that you had to bring me here. And no, I won’t take no for an answer, I’m pregnant so you should do what I ask you.

“Fine” she nodded, frowning “Good thing we’re not friends.”

“Yes, thank God we’re not” she rolled her eyes “you’re very annoying.” She heard Alex snort and let out a laugh.

“Okay, Luthor” Alex shot one last time “let’s talk, but first” she put the headphones back into place “what’s your middle name?”

“That is not up for discussion, Danvers” she smiled “if you want to know you have to admit I’m your friend.”

“Never.” Alex smirked

Yeah, she thought to herself, this is a real friendship.

 

***

 

Lena observed Alex drink more than she should on a Tuesday evening and more than she should for someone who was ‘relaxing’. She could feel the redhead nervousness and fright and most of all, her silence. Because she was more susceptible to a mental breakdown, the CEO felt like it was easier to open up, she was crying daily, even if she wasn’t feeling down. But, for Alex, that only made things more complicated. They knew how each other felt, they got each other’s time and space and never crossed any lines, it was what made them ‘friends’, even if they wouldn’t say it out loud. They were too similar, all the same fears, the same manners.

The Danvers kept shooting tequila down her throat, making her grimace, feeling the liquid burn to the stomach. It was always easier to deal with problems when she was drunk. It’d hurt less. However, Lena was there, watching and waiting for answers. She would never ask directly, knowing Alex would dodge every question. No, Lena was going to wait for her non-friend to tell her what was bothering her so much. To see her drink and fall like that made her nervous, it wasn’t the first time that was happening. And that worried her.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Lena said seriously, moving the tiny cups away “you’re crossing the line.”

“Stop being so bossy” Alex answered, dragging each word and laughed “you’re acting like an annoying mom.”

“Perhaps because I am one now.”

“Yeah… what I’ll” she sighed “I’ll never be.”

After that confession, Lena froze for a few seconds and stared at the tired woman in front of her. What did she mean by that? Before she could ask, Alex put her hand over her mouth and muffled a painful hiccup. She was tired, trying to escape a brainstorm of confusion. Lena didn’t know what to do, she was never a friendly shoulder or had to comfort anyone. That was completely new.

“I’m sorry” Alex whispered trying to fix her face “I just… I…”

“You don’t have to apologize” she held the other woman’s hand and intertwined their fingers, deciding against going for a hug “let’s get you home, you need to rest, that’s enough relaxing for today.” Alex nodded silently.

They left the place and this time Lena was the one driving. The agent kept her face on the window all the way, feeling some stubborn tears mark her cheeks and eyes almost closing with exhaustion. Neither of them had the guts to say a word about the situation and so that an end on the subject. At last for now. As they arrived at the redhead’s apartment, the CEO helped her up and waited for her to have a cold shower. While waiting, she found some pills for the morning after and helped her get to bed, as the agent slept almost immediately. She checked everything again to make sure everything was in order and called her driver, knowing something very wrong was happening to Alex.

 

***

 

Between endless meetings, the Luthor finally managed to sit down and find something to eat. Being a CEO was much more complicated now that she was pregnant, all her senses were expanding and her patience only seemed to reduce, but the hotness was by far the most annoying feeling. During a meeting with investors in the morning, she was so close to throwing up as one of the men stepped into her space like some did, knowing Lena Luthor was a single woman. She was more than used to receiving compliments, dinner requests, and indecent propositions. She refused them, always. But the strong manly lotion made her stomach turn, in fact, anything related to strangers and her privacy made her sick. It was almost impressive.

For example, on the day a woman was among a group of visitors in the lab, she was the CEO of an important company in Metropolis and came along with the scientists who were to analyze L-Corp’s new department. She was beautiful, blessed with an astonishing smile and venerable intelligence, the dress she was wearing also painted a magnificent picture of her curves. There was nothing about her that would cause any discomfort in the Luthor, being honest, she might have even accepted going to dinner if she asked. And yes, there was an invitation, one that she didn’t even have time to answer as her stomach rolled and she had to leave the place running.

As she got to the bathroom, the sickness suddenly vanished. It was like something was keeping her from approaching new people and even people she didn’t have traces of intimacy with. In fact, if she thought about it, it seemed like that child was bothered by Lena’s proximity to strangers, any kind of proximity really. After all, the only people she was able to get close to were Alex and Jess, and most of all, her best friend Kara.

Yes, she must be going insane, for she refused to believe that child was already getting in the way of her life so early on.

Ignoring these issues and walking back to her office, she ordered lunch - although it was only ten and a half in the morning - and began to distract herself with some research. Reaching for the air conditioner remote Lena lowered the room’s temperature for the third time that morning, the heat was almost unbearable, like she was standing in hell. Her body was on fire and all she dreamed of was a cold shower. Her feet ached inside those uncomfortable shoes and so, she took them off, sure that no one was going to see it anyway. The only other thing bothering her like the devil was her bra, which was already getting too small. Her breasts had doubled and her nipples were more sensible and sore. It was hell on earth, she thought to herself, and there are six months to go.

Lena sighed. She never thought pregnancies were that stressful. Always believed it was like the movies, astonishing women that barely gain any fat and still exercise even though they are carrying a six-pound being inside themselves. She took a minute to stare at her figure and the conclusion upset her. Since she found she was pregnant, it was almost impossible to stop eating, and now, and they arrived in the third month, her belly was beginning to take shape. Soon, it wouldn’t be possible to keep it a secret.

“You’re not going to make me get twenty pounds, are you?” she whispered, hand caressing the belly and eyes on the computer screen “You’re already being too bossy, how do expect me to spend six months and a half not seeing anyone? She smirked, lightly stroking her tissue “you’re a jealous little being.”

She carried on her research, one which had nothing to do with L-Corp and surprised her in every detail.

“Due to the yellow sun on planet Earth, kryptonians are gifted with inhuman strength and other powers” read interested “their skin will always be hot, what won’t allow them to feel cold or get burned like other human beings, also, very few blades and other sharp objectives are able of hurting them, they are also bulletproof” she reclined back and stared at directly at where her bellybutton was covered. Was that the reason why she was feeling so hot? The baby had a hotter body temperature than hers? It made sense “furthermore, they possess heat vision, x-ray vision, and frost breath. super hearing, the ability to fly and to run at a very high speed which demands a much heavier diet from them, mainly made of carbohydrates, for their bodies consume thrice the energy than of a regular human being” for fuck’s sake, Lena cursed in silence “thrice?” she said, impressed “this all I needed.”

How would she feed a child that needed thrice the amount of food she was able to eat? Also, would this child be fully kryptonian or fifty percent? Biologically speaking she knew that it was supposed to be a combination but was it the same way in alien science? Right, she could not panic now, not inside her office with her secret just by the door. She needed to keep calm and call Supergirl to clear some things up.

For example, if this child had her other mother’s powers, could they, perhaps, contaminate kyptonians the person carrying the baby? For a lack of better words.

At that moment, she remembered what J’onn said in the DEO, that Lena had no scratches and it was a bit strange, given that humans are fragile beings. With that in mind, she reached for a metal clip on her table and twisted it, the pointy side facing the ceiling. That was insane and she was certain regret coming in a minute. However, there were too many questions and not close to enough answers, she wanted to learn it, to know more, and could barely make sense of why she was so interested all of the sudden. Something inside herself didn’t want to fail that baby.

“If I go mad, the fault is entirely yours, know that Seedy” Lena murmured to the belly and sliced her hand with the small sharpened metal, closing her eyes, waiting for the pain and the feeling of rolling dripping. But nothing happened. Nothing happened, not one trace of the cut “this is… impressive” she inhaled and tried one more time, now aiming her arm. Once again, nothing. “what more should I expect from you?” she caressed her stomach “I’m not going to lie, I’m scared. So scared…” Lena sighed and carried on reading “Krypton was a planet illuminated by a red sun, to which kryptonians believed it was divine being named Rao.... why is this name so familiar to me?” she questioned, but decided to let it pass “the main city, known as Argo City was divided in fields, to what only two are known by us: the scientific and the military. The House El was placed in the precise middle of the city and, although there were other Houses and clans, this family was responsible for the City, using a simple governmental counsel. The symbol of House El is an S centered in a five-sided irregular polygon. The S stands for hope and the emblem El Mayarah stands for ‘stronger together’” Lena shot a brief smiled “I’m not gonna lie, your mother is much more interesting than I had thought.”

“Miss Luthor” the secretary came in suddenly, making the CEO jump from the chair and her heart race.

“Jess” she smiled politely “you startled me.”

“I’m sorry, but your mother is here” Jess informed, noticing the other woman’s hand on her belly “Do I let her in?”

“Of course” she answered quickly “wait, my mother?” she closed her computer a tried to breathe slowly.

“Excuse me, thank you for announcing me for my own daughter” Lilian slithered through the door and entered the room, wearing a presumptuous smile “since when do I need to be announced?”

“Mother, I didn’t expect to see you so soon” Lena truly meant to say she didn’t expect to see her again but her better judgment didn’t let it “what do you want? What are you doing here?

“Lena, why are you so down?” she read each detail in her daughter. Lilian may be the worst mother to ever exist but she knew her daughter well, well enough to notice something was wrong. “your skin looks more… radiant, but I still can see the tiredness and did you… did you gain weight?

“How delicate of you” she rolled her eyes “I’ll only ask one more time, what are you doing here?

“Can’t a mother simply visit a daughter that is now taken for a hero?”

“A mother can, you can’t. Be brief Lilian, I have work to do.”

“It doesn’t look like you’re working” she pointed a finger to the spot where part of her lunch was left unfinished “for what I know, you were never one to lunch”

“You don’t know many things about me, anyway” she answered strictly, but before she could continue the conversation, a soft thud was heard and wind blew into the room, her heart raced. She didn’t even need to turn around, she smiled “Supergirl”

“Miss Luthor, I was flying by and saw that an inhospitable visitor decided to show up” Kara lied and stared straight at Lilian. What she wanted to do was take her friend and mother of her child far away from that woman. “Is there any trouble?”

“Let’s hope not” Lena answered, unsure of her next move. Her mother and the superhero looked like they were about to start a war right there. She turned to Lilian “should I expect any trouble?”

“Why am I not surprised that she is here.” Lilian said with disgust “this is a family meeting.”

“I want her to stay” the CEO intervened “and I want you to tell me why you’re here.”

“Interesting how people are really able to fool others, don’t you think?” she smiled “be them human or not” her eyes fell on Supergirl aware that the kryptonian knew what she was talking about “your time is still to come” she finished “anyway, I only came to tell you that I’ll be expecting you for a dinner I’m hosting this weekend for some old friends. They want news about L-Corp and the new investors” she got up and smiled again “It will be at seven and please be presentable. Your current state is deplorable” Lilian walked past the door and turned around one last time “and choose your friendships better. Goodbye, Lena.”

They watched the older woman leave the room and felt the tension dissipate. They were alone again.

“Are you okay?” Supergirl asked, she didn’t like the way Lilian spoke about her daughter’s appearance at all.

“Yes” she answered still lost in the situation “how did you know?”

“I was patrolling the area” she frowned with the lie “and was worried when I saw Lilian here.”

“Didn’t know you were an overprotective mother… but I’m fine, I just need to rest and to change into something less uncomfortable. You can go back to what you were doing.”

“Right” she sighed. She didn’t understand why Lena still was so defensive around her “shouldn’t you but more… comfortable? Soon these will bother you to breath…” her face turned bright red as she realized what she had just said.

“I’ll keep it in mind” she smiled “thank you,”

The hero didn’t say anything else because she knew it wouldn’t have the same weight if it was coming from Kara’s mouth and not Supergirl’s. And so, the blond had an idea.

 

***

 

“Miss Luthor” Jess knocked again.

“Fucking hell” she murmured to herself and turned around with the fakest of smiles “yes?”

“Miss Danvers is here to see you”

“Be more specific Jess” she sighed “Kara or Alex?”

“Kara” she answered “I know you gave me orders to not let anyone in, but I thought…”

“It’s okay, thank you” her relief was palpable. Kara was always a great company “let her in.”

The secretary left the room and was replaced by a blond woman wearing very characteristic clothes. On one hand, she carried a brown package, as always, and the other held a book with a pink cover and an image Lena couldn’t decipher. They smiled at each other and the Luthor got up to hug her friend.

“Are you barefoot?” she commented noticing Lena was standing on her normal height “Jesus, Lena, it’s freezing in here” even if she didn’t exactly feel cold, the younger Danvers was still able to notice sudden temperature drops.

“My feet are killing me and so is the heat” she grumbled “apparently I’m the only person, in the whole city, feeling like this . It feels like global warming is happening inside my body.” all her words came out tired.

“Here, I got this for you” Kara handed out the package “and don’t worry, it’s not candy.”

“I’m impressed” Lena took the package to find a small pot with fruit salad in it. Her stomach immediately complained “I’m not sure if Seedy is going to like this.”

“Fruits are good for their development and they are sweet, anyway” she smiled “you should try it.”

“I don’t have much of a choice.” she sighed. Not with food or people she completed in her head.

“I got the app’s new update for this week, do you want to hear it?” she smiled excited and guided them to the couch. Lena rolled her eyes and laughed, of course, her friend was having the time of her life with that situation “er… I’m sorry… if you don’t want to…”

“No, read, please I want to know which stage of hell I’m descending to.” she teased.

“Christ, Lena.” Kara grimaced “right, we are in the ninth week of pregnancy, and look! Your baby almost has all of their fingers developed and their face is starting to take shape. In this phase, they begin to be called fetus and their arms and legs continue to grow. As for the mother, her uterus now has twice the size it had before and the belly will begin to show. In some, it is more apparent, but her clothes will begin to tighten up” she stared at her friend for a few seconds and continued. Soon she was going to put her plan to action “your breasts also grew and began to gain weight, due to the mammal glands production, which means, time to change bras!” Lena was very entertained by the way Kara read the text with spontaneity and joy. It was almost like she was the one expecting “nausea will keep going until the twelfth week and you must continue with the acid folic supplements.”

“So I’m going to have to change my whole wardrobe” she sentenced “we should be able to have babies like kangaroos and carry them in a pooch, it would be so much easier.”

“You have some weird thoughts, Lena” she grinned “how are you feeling? Have you been taking the supplements?”

“Yes, doctor” Lena smirked “and I have been eaten twice as much and my boobs are killing me” the blond blushed hard and coughed.

“I have an idea” Kara changed the subject quickly “in fact, several ideas, but I… er, thought that maybe we could start off… slow?”

“And what is your mastermind idea this time?” curiosity kicking in “nothing involving noisy places and many people, please.”

“No, of course not” she sighed “I wanted to… actually, uh… I thought we could go shopping for new clothes… you know, more comfortable ones” Kara cleared her throat “these skirts look so tight…”

“Right now, I just want to take them off…” she spoke in innocence, her friend, on the other hand, turned bright red imagining the scene “but maybe changing my wardrobe would be a good idea, since I’m still going to carry Seedy for six and a half months.”

“It’s a grape now” Kara corrected “Seedy is now a grape.”

“Whatever, an app is not going to tell me what I should call my child” her defensive side came to light without her even noticing it.

“Okay, mama bear” she teased “so can we go? I think it would be… nice” she shot a shy smile.

After all, what could go wrong?

 

***

 

The driver was quick to get there and in no time they were on their way to the store the blond said sold nice clothes for pregnant women. Everything was still so surreal: being pregnant. It felt like a parallel reality, where everything was but an illusion and a scary version of her life. Even with Kara’s overexcitement, Lena was still unable to let herself feel everything that pregnancy gave to her. Of course, she was aware that some of the actions were completely automatic and involuntary as if her body and conscience made her behave as a mother, even though she had already decided she wasn’t going to be one.

Agent Danver’s words echoed in her mind, making her calmer but also a bit more desperate. What if she falls for that child? What if she didn’t want to give up on it? Her thoughts were confusing and her fear gradually grew. After what she had read in her brief research, knowing that her baby could have her other mother’s powers scared her to death. How would she keep that child away from her own mother? Away from Cadmus and other dangers? How would she, a Luthor, hide the fact that her child is half alien?

Her life was about to fall apart. She couldn’t, even if she wanted, to mother that small life growing in her. Suddenly, her hand moved to her belly and she let out a worried sigh. She had to ensure its safety, no matter what she felt, no matter how much she wanted to keep it to herself.

“I’m sorry” Lena whispered and the blond sitting next to her turned around.

“Are feeling pain? Nausea?” worry creeping in her. The driver parked in front of the store and waited patiently for them to exit.

“No, just bothered” it wasn’t a lie, she turned to Kara “hold this for me” it was her purse. And so her hands traveled quickly inside her shirt and undoing her bra “this is killing me” Lena justified nervous and tossed the piece of fabric in the car.

Kara felt her heart stop for a few seconds, seconds that felt like hours. Oh, Rao. Lena did just take her bra in front of her?

Oh, Rao.

Breathe. She had to breathe. Inhale, exhale. Or was it the opposite way? Christ, she didn’t remember. Her brain had melted. The young Danvers coughed in a clear sign of nervousness and fixed her glasses on her nose, in a failed attempt to pull herself together and forget that moment. They smiled at each other and got out of the car, the Luthor barely noticing the effect she had on her friend.

“Is everything okay?” she asked the blond.

“No… I mean, yes! I just… er, I’m just… feeling hot?” another lie “maybe it’s the lack of air conditioner, I don’t know…”

“If you're feeling hot, picture how I’m feeling… I’d sleep inside a refrigerator and burn all my bras if I could” she commented walking toward the underwear section ''so, where do we begin, Miss personal style?”

“Uh, right…” desperation was starting to kick in “bras, let’s start with them…” oh, Rao.”

A sudden thought occurred to her.

How… would she give her opinion on something like that? Also, how would she see Lena try those things on? Her face went red in shame. Kara was about to see her friend in underwear for the first time. What a great idea, she thought to herself, of course, her stupid brain didn’t think of that. Now there was no escape. She promised to help the CEO and she intended to keep that promise, even if it felt like her heart was about to explode. Breathe. She had to breathe. It couldn’t be so bad, it was just… well, best not to think about it.

“Kara?” she frowned, looking at her friend.

“Right, right… give me your purse and let’s… let’s take a look at the clothes.”

After a painful slow half an hour of going through clothes and Kara avoiding looking at her friend, afraid she’d notice her nervousness, they went to the dressing room, the Luthor insisting her friend would accompany her so she could give opinions. Even if she was very private and conscious about her personal space, Lena always had a lot of confidence when it came to her body. It was something she was proud of, not ashamed of. And for that reason she didn’t think it was going to be uncomfortable for either of them, after all, that’s what friends are for right?

As she took off her clothes and looked at the mirror in front of her, Lena was already able to see the small but noticeable changes. Her skin was more hydrated and oily, just like her hair looked more alive than ever. However, as much as she liked these new features, it only took a small turn, and looking at her figure on the side, the small curve on her belly was beginning to show. It was real, she was pregnant. Not that she had any doubts, for God’s sake she had heard the heartbeats. But, standing there now, she was facing the hardest part: acceptance. Inadvertently, the CEO started crying and when she noticed the tears, she did her best not to look in the mirror to see the miserable person in her place.

She took one of the bras and put it on, feeling the tissue around her breasts in a comfortable way. As beautiful as that item was, she sighed looking in the mirror. Not feeling that pretty and wondering if her body was ever going to be the same,

“Lena?” the blond shouted outside the curtain. Kara could hear her friend's heart beating in despair, almost breaking her own. Alongside it, there was another heartbeat and, at the same time it calmed her down, she could only think how distressing it must be for her friend “Lena, is everything okay?”

“I don’t know if I want to do this anymore” she whispered from the other side and suddenly opened the curtain separating them “I’m feeling terrible, Kara” hiding her face in her hands she confessed “I don’t… don’t look at me, like I’m…”

The tension shifted and it weighed on them, the kryptonian knew she had to do something about it. So, for the first time, she allowed herself to look at her friend’s body. Yes, she had caught a glimpse of it during that ultrasound consult but she looked away in one second. Now, her eyes memorized every inch of pale, velvet Luthor skin. Kara panted heavily and forced herself to focus. She was doing that for her friend, determined to find every compliment and positive adjective on the dictionary, and quote them to Lena. Although truth was, she was barely able to say a word to describe what she was seeing.

Lena had the most beautiful body she had ever seen and yeah, she had never been with a woman before, but it was true. She always found her friend extraordinary, extraordinary in mind and body. It pained her to see her cry and think she wasn’t pretty, even her pregnancy only made her even more impressive. On that thought, the young Danvers removed the other’s hands from her face and looked at the green eyes, reddened by the tears, and smiled.

“You look beautiful” she smiled even harder “and you’ll only keep getting more beautiful, Lena.”

“You’re saying that because I haven’t gained all the weight yet” Lena grumbled “I can’t even look in the mirror and find something I like about myself.”

“Look at me and let’s remember why we are here, okay?” the CEO nodded “are your..er…” she looked at the bra and felt her cheeks burn “are… they… comfortable?” Lena smirked.

“My boobs, Kara” she corrected grinning “and yes, they are.”

“Great!” she took a step back, creating a somewhat safe space between them “try the other two and I'll be waiting for you here.”

“I’m so hungry, starving” complained “when we’re done here…”

“We’re going to eat, I know. I’m starving too.”

Lena got into the dressing room again and tried not to break down again. She tried the other pieces but the colors didn’t do it for her, but the trousers Kara had chosen for her fitted her legs perfectly, they were also much more comfortable than the ones she was used to wearing. In the meantime, the blond entertained herself with a magazine from the store and tried to take the image of Lena in underwear out of her mind. But, no matter how hard she tried, it was like her brain refused to.

She was almost finishing her reading when she heard a woman’s voice down the hallway. The woman was complaining about something and Danvers was quick on recognizing the owner of that voice.

Helena Bertinelli. Fuck.

“Oh, Rao” she whispered to herself in panic. Would she remember her? Maybe even ask about Lena?

Oh, Rao! Lena! She could leave that room in an instant and of course, that woman would notice the small but visible curve on her belly. On impulse, the blond pushed the curtain and entered the dressing room, pushing the other woman to the wall and knocking all the hangers down. What caused a suspicious sound. Kara felt her face burn and, when stopped to look at her friend, all her senses paused.

Lena was only wearing panties, breasts exposed, and almost touching her own.

“Kara!” she exclaimed nervously but the other woman covered her mouth.

“I… er…” she coughed anxiously. Damn it, what would she say now? “oh, heavens… I just…”

 

Silence fell on them and their eyes met. The CEO could feel her nipples quickly respond to that contact and tingling on her sex. Her breathing got heavy and the heat of the blond’s body made her goosebump. She was so fucking hot and she couldn’t control it. Kara kept their body’s close, so close that she felt she could combust without a simple touch. Lena hated being pregnant, hated not being able to find someone to just fix that issue. And, most of all, she hated those god damned hormones.

The kryptonian was still. It wasn’t like she couldn’t hear the Luthor’s heartbeat so fucking fast. Shit. Why did she have the most absurd ideas in the worst moments? Now what? What could she possibly say to get out of that situation? Oh, Rao… why, of all people, did she have to be attracted to her best friend?

“Can you let go of my mouth?” she sounded muffled.

“Yeah… I… right” a deep breath “that friend of yours is outside” she couldn’t help to roll her eyes saying the word ‘friend’.

“Helena?” the blond nodded “fuck’s sake. And if I go out like this or with my clothes, she is going to notice…”

“We’re going to wait here until she leaves. It’s okay.”

“Right” she sighed, and suddenly remembered she was basically naked “I… I need a shirt…”

“Okay, okay… a shirt, uh…” she grabbed the first shirt she could find, it was one she had chosen but didn’t say anything to Lena “put this on.”

The CEO nodded and put on the beige shirt, it felt a bit too large. As she looked in the mirror, she noticed the writing in front of it, alongside a childish pomegranate drawing.

‘Mama’s little pomegranate’

She felt her eyes tear up and her hands moved to her belly. Stupid hormones. The shirt went down to the thighs, leaving a bit of underwear visible. Her breasts weren’t being pressed by any tissue and Lena wished she could stay like that forever. Just her and her baby and the comfort of looking at herself and feeling something warm in her chest. Kara observed the scene and smiled, amazed by it. She never thought it would be possible to be so in love with two people at the same time. Lena wasn’t wearing anything fancy, far from it, she was barefoot, wearing only panties and a shirt that did a bad job covering her arse, her hair was messy because of the constant changing of clothes and still, Kara had never seen her look so beautiful.

That’s when an idea occurred to her.

“Lena, can you… er, can you lean on the wall again?” The CEO looked at her confused but did as told “now, stand on the side” Kara moved her so she was in the position she pictured “right, now… lift the front of your shirt and put both hands on your belly… yeah, like that, can I…?” she pointed to her hair and the other woman, feeling the warm hands place a lock of hair behind her ear. “Now, look down at your hands...yes.” she smiled, Lena Luthor was the most amazing woman in the world “don’t move…”

“What are you doing?” L7ena asked without moving and heard clicks coming from her friend’s phone repeatedly.

“I’m going to prove to you that every month that goes by, you’ll only look better” Kara showed her the pictures “See? You two look beautiful…”

“Thank you, Kara” she smiled, ecstatic. Their eyes met, more intense than ever. The Luthor looked down at the pink lips and felt her mouth water. What would they taste like?

“Lena?” the moment was interrupted by a known voice “Lena, are you there? I know your purse is right here and I’d recognize it anywhere.” Helena continued and Lena sighed, thanking God she was wearing a large shirt.

“Hey, Helena…” she partly opened the curtains, but Helena took them and pushed them to the end, finding Kara standing on the other side “we were just… trying some clothes on.”

“Together?” she stared at the blond and frowned “In the same dressing room?”

That’s what friends are for, Kara thought to herself.

“What are you doing here? I thought you only went to designer stores” she tried to change subjects and ignore that woman’s stare on her bare legs. But before she could continue, she felt the kryptonian’s arms around her waist and put on the sweater she was wearing to cover her panties “thank you, darling,”

“Just looking for different things and it’s not like we’re in a department store” her words dripping with sarcasm “by the way, it’s great that I ran into you, I’ve been meaning to ask you to dinner this weekend at the Palm West Side.” Kara felt her blood boil with that invitation “It’s going to be like a business meeting and it would be nice to have such an interesting company like yours.

Damn it, the blond thought, why this woman… this gorgeous tall woman had to show up now? Shit. Why did she have to smell so good? Kara crossed her arms and menaced.

“I’m sorry, it would be wonderful but I already have plans this weekend.” Lena made sure to say wonderful in the most ironic way possible and remembered Lilian’s invitation, one that she didn’t intend to accept but now it was done “I have a dinner with my mother, I would invite you but…” her eyes turned to the blond woman frowning “Kara already is my plus one.” she heard her friend gasp and smirked.

Kara froze. Lena intended to go to that dinner? And… she was going too?

“Oh, what a shame” Helena sighed “hope I see you again” she walked back and wondered her eyes through the CEO’s body, enjoying the view again “nice shirt, by the way, mommy.” Shit.

They watched Bertinelli leave the hallway. The Luthor didn’t know what was worst and made a mental list of the many bad situations she had put herself in less than one day.

1.One unexpected visit and an invitation to dine with her mother.
2.Put her friend in a mess she hadn't even told her about.
3.Helena found out about her pregnancy.
4.All of the above, together.

Truly, it wasn’t the best day of her life.

Chapter 6: Oh, Rao!

Notes:

and we're back! Enjoy!

Chapter Text

The DEO was mostly known by its agents as a department compromised with National City's security, that took their objectives seriously and worked hard, day and night. Well, it wasn’t quite like that. In this exact moment, there weren’t so many crimes to fight or aliens planning a massive invasion to enslave the human race, something that J’onn was very grateful for. While the director finished his paperwork, Winn had left to meet James and Alex was out looking for her sister. If she wasn't at CatCo or L-Corp, she was definitely not around there.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked as she caught an almost childish scene of Supergirl sitting on the floor, crossed legs on a warehouse floor.

“Hey, Alex” she was very focused.

“Are you… are you drawing again?” she sat down beside the blond, catching a glimpse of random papers and a picture of Lena in the center “is this Lena?”

“Yes” her cheeks reddened “I’m… er, making a surprise”

“Can you tell me about it?” her sister’s blue eyes lighted with the request. She was expecting a lesson or a monologue from her sister, but not that interest, which excited and rejoiced her.

“Well, I took her to go shopping and...well, a little… how can I say it?” Kara felt her face blush again “a little incident happened, but it wasn’t anything serious! I swear! I just… noticed she’s insecure about her body and… I can’t really understand it but I just don’t want Lena to feel like that, you know?

“Okay,” Alex smiled “so what are you planning on doing?”

 

“I’m going to make her a board with all her pregnancy phases, like those on Pinterest” she smiled in excitement “but I wanted to give it some personal touch, so instead of just putting the pictures I’m going to take, I’m also drawing them and creating an aesthetic to each one.”

“This is wonderful, Kara” Alex was sincere and for that, a bit of dismay was noticeable in her words “Lena truly needs something that will make her feel confident about this whole mess, especially about her body.”

“How.... how do you know that” she frowned “is just… you’re so sure saying this… Did Lena say something to you?”

And at that moment, Alex was unsure of her words. There wasn’t any problem of course, that she was friends with the Luthor and she liked that. The issue was that this ‘new’ friendship was her sister’s best friend and she didn’t know how Kara would react to that news. Which was ironic, given that the blond always wanted for her to get along with Lena, for them to be somewhat close, close enough that she’d stop calling her by her last name. However, to want something to happen and then to see that it happened could bring some contradictory feelings.

Kara had never shown any signs of jealousy but it wasn’t like she ever had a reason to show them. Lena was her best friend and Alex was her sister.

“Alex?”

“I've been talking to her, for...well, it’s been some weeks” she confessed flatly and frowned looking at the confusion in her sister’s face “we hung out after game night and also went out last week but it wasn’t anything serious, we just talked and chilled” at this point Alex was searching for any miserable sight of a positive reaction from Kara.

“Oh… I wasn’t… expecting that” she sighed and forced a smile trying to show her sister she was happy with her acquaintance. She was happy, right? “but I’m glad.”

“Kara, I’m not here to take your place in her life” Alex kept going “Lena is your best friend, and I....”

“It’s okay, Alex, I promise” the blond held the redhead’s hands and shot a truer smile, even though something deep down was still bothering her. She couldn’t quite put a name to it, it didn’t feel like jealousy and that frightened her.

“Don’t lie to me, please. I know you’re bottling up so many things that you don’t want to talk about” she stared at Kara’s eyes “but you know you can’t talk to me, right?”

“I know, don’t worry about it and… wait” she interrupted her line of thought “why are we talking about me? You don’t look well and if someone here is bottling things up, it’s you” Alex turned her face, not liking the way that was going “I have barely seen Maggie these days… it’s about her, isn’t it?”

“It’s… complicated” she sighed. There were many unresolved issues that she kept to herself and didn’t know how to explain them or to make Kara understand them without feeling guilty. The younger Danvers always had that habit.

“Talk to me” Kara almost pleaded. The redhead smiled faintly and nodded.

“Since… we found out about Lena’s pregnancy. Maggie and I talked about having children” Alex started feeling her heartache “we were both very nervous because we had never spoken about it, after all, it’s still… early” she chuckled nervously “but since you were going to be a mom or something like that, we had that conversation and I told her that I dreamt about being a mother, of having someone that loved me unconditionally and anyway… you know all that…” Kara nodded “but… Maggie doesn’t want…”
Supergirl frowned and suddenly her brain was a mess. What did she mean?

“Maggie, she...wait...how?” she stared at her sister “she doesn’t want… it?”

“No” her voice shuddered “we didn’t go back to that subject, but… I don’t know what to do, Kara. I’m not giving up on her but…”

“You don’t want to give up being a mom” Kara completed and finally saw the big picture of what was happening. She looked at the drawing she had made of her pregnant friend and observed the way Alex sighed heavily looking at them. All those weeks she had been filling her sister with new information and updates on the baby and didn’t even notice that those things were, in a way, hurting her “oh, Alex… forgive me, I don’t… I should’ve controlled myself and my excitement, I didn’t even notice it was upsetting you, and I…”

“No, Kara no” Alex held her little sister’s wavering hands again “this has nothing to do with you or Lena, it’s only about me and Maggie. I’m really happy that you’re getting so involved because I know how much your friend needs it” once again, the kryptonian felt that weird feeling but ignored it. It wasn’t fair, even though she wasn’t what she was feeling, Alex deserved someone like the Luthor and she also wanted Lena to have someone like her sister.

They were family after all.

“I love Maggie, Kara” Alex's eyes were teary and the blond noticed the dark circles around them. There were no doubts about her sister’s love for that officer “and we’re… we’re going to figure this out. I promise you.

“I just wish I knew what to do or how to help you…” she sighed “I hate seeing you sad.”

“I know, but it will pass.”

“Hey, I’m the one supposed to be consoling here” Kara grumbled “I’m sorry, about all of this…but you can always talk to me, vent to me… I’ll keep trying my best to make things better, always” she pushed her for a tight hug, letting Alex hide her face in her hair “I love you so much.”

“I love you too” Alex sighed “today is ultrasound day, right” she changed the subject quickly.

“Yes!” Kara was excited “we’re entering the tenth week!”

“Are you still not telling me why this kid is so important to you? Other than, of course, that it is your child and Lena is the other mother” she commented watching the blond turn red “oh, c’mon Kara, we’ve been through this and I know you’re in love with her.”

“Hey!” she complained and was about to continue but was interrupted by J’onn, knocking on the open door. “yes, boss?”

“We have an emergency near the docks, we need Supergirl” he warned.

“Phew, saved by the bell” she exhaled and got up. So Alex grabbed her arm before she could run away.

“You’re not escaping this conversation” she teased “I’m keeping an eye on you” and pointed two fingers to the other woman. Kara didn’t answer, just used her superspeed to leave the place as fast as she could. She wasn’t ready to say a thing about that subject.

Kara did all the DEO asked her to until lunchtime, making it very clear to her boss that she was taking Lena to her second ultrasound that afternoon. J’onn still insisted on bringing the Luthor in so they could make specific exams on the child, like checking if the baby could mean any danger, for they didn’t know what could happen with human and alien DNA mixed, especially kryptonian DNA. But, as always, Supergirl didn’t discuss or let him convince her. The department was not laying one finger on that baby.

 

***

 

As Kara entered her friend’s office hallway, Jess shot her the same friendly smile and nodded her head indicating she could go in. She never really gave much thought to the CEO’s secretary, Jess seemed to appreciate their friendship, for she knew Lena felt good and needed someone like Kara Danvers by her side. But as much as she agreed, there was still a bit of hesitancy on her part. The blond was unaware of how much Jess cared about Lena and didn’t know what they had between them because Lena had made very clear, many times, that they weren’t friends, not in the profound and specific sense of the word anyway, but that the secretary truly cared about her wellbeing.

Leaving these thoughts behind, the younger Danvers could already hear the two hearts beating in harmony on the other side of the door. The same feelings always overwhelmed her soul. Security, love, and hope. For any other person, having a child could mean a blessing or a tragedy, but for Kara, it was far from both situations. It pained her deeply that she had to keep her feelings to herself, either they were good or bad, and it ached in her chest not being able to spit them out. She noticed the way Alex paid attention to her actions, words, and mood, no matter how well she hid all of it. She didn’t want to tell, didn’t want to vent. Those were her fears, her anguishes and no one could truly understand what was going on in her heart.

She opened the door quietly and found a concentrated Luthor reading some important document, one hand on the papers and the other on her belly. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by her anymore, it was an obvious habit for people who knew her well. Kara smiled lovingly. The last three months had gone by in a blink of an eye, so fast and intense. She didn’t have time to organize her emotions or to process what required processing. Was she confused? Yes, she was. Was she afraid? Very. She had never been so terrified in her entire life. But as she saw her friend so calmly reading something complicated, at least she always found those things complex, her heart sank in an overwhelming feeling of peace.

It was no surprise to anyone, or herself, that she had feelings for her best friend. It was clear. So stupidly obvious. But after all, who wouldn’t fall for her?

Kara took a deep breath and tried not to lose herself in those irises that looked more like a pair of emeralds. Lena looked at her and smiled, and her whole world lighted up in milliseconds. It was funny to think about how much they had grown together in so little time and how much Kara didn’t realize she was losing. her despair and confusion made her blind to the intimacy they were sharing in so few weeks. However, the blond could still see how extraordinary Lena was. The way she could change her face from intimidating and serious to something calm and affectionate. The way she could be distant and cold to those she didn’t know or trusted and also be so lovingly and extremely warm to those she loved and cared about.

All the CEO’s singularities and details overly enchanted the younger Danvers. She knew her so well, or at least that’s what she thought. She knew Lena disliked when her personal space was disrespected, or when she wasn’t taken seriously in work meetings, or when they diminished her for being a Luthor. She knew by memory all her favorite songs, she knew her friend had had a few piercings and an emo phase when she was a teenager, she adored it when she was speechless and smirked, not knowing how to react to a positive reaction. Truth was that the Luthor never knew how to respond to a compliment.

Rao, Kara could spend hours like that, listing everything that made her fall even harder for her best friend. But she didn’t have time now.

Besides, when she remembered the conversation with her sister she could feel her heartache a little. Alex was right about her not knowing certain details about the CEO. And that made her sad, worried. What more did she have to know about a woman that so confidently ran a multimillionaire company and still had time for a reporter like her? And what did Lena tell Alex that she wouldn’t tell her best friend? Had she done something wrong? Crossed a line? Rao! So many questions and fears that she didn’t know where to start. She never thought her life would have turned upside down, like these last weeks, and she feared that at some point it would all fall apart.

“Kara!” Lena got up to hug her “you’re early.”

“Uh… I’m...done with some articles” she lied “I hope I’m not disturbing…”

“Of course not, you never do” she pointed to the couch and they sat down “is something wrong?” Lena noticed the other’s somewhat disappointed face “did anything happen?”

“No!” Kara smiled and fixed her glasses nervously “nothing...happened.”

“Liar” she teased “you know you can tell me anything and that you are a terrible liar, right?” the blond felt her body tense “this whole pregnancy thing and me being so stressed does drain a lot from you. Kara, I don’t want you to worry so much…” she sighed “you don’t need to accompany me in every consult or…”

“Lena, no” Kara held her hands “it’s not that, I want to be with you in every consult and I want to help you… feel good… even if it’s hard for me to understand what… what you feel…”

There was a moment of silence and all the words unsaid, and the unshared feelings and worries floated around them. Lena wanted to say how she really felt, how anguishing it was to be pregnant when she didn’t even want to be a mother or how she wanted to go back three months and change what happened. It wasn’t fair to her, it wasn't. How did people expect someone like her, a Luthor, a person that knew nothing about maternity to be psychologically able and to raise such a fragile and vulnerable being like that baby and not turn it into a copy of her brother Lex?

And there was still much more. That was the tip of the iceberg.

How could she, supposedly, accept that she was expecting a baby from someone that didn’t love her and still drag her best friend into this mess? Lena loved Kara, not Supergirl. How could she expect that someday the younger Danvers would fall for someone like her? Someone linked to a woman like the girl of steel, someone who would always carry the burden of having a deep connection to the town’s hero? Looking at the blond had become so much more painful than before. She would do anything to take that sadness from her blue eyes.

Kara seemed disappointed and the Luthor feared it was because of her mistake.

 

Lena had lost control over her life, that was the truth. And until those six months and two weeks were over, she had to deal with that fact. Her body had been violated and now Lena had to regain the confidence that took her so long to get, It was funny because most women are insecure about their shape and form, always wanting to change a minor detail. For the CEO it wasn’t like that and she took pride in it. She could change whatever she wanted in her body but she never felt the need to. Something that she always, always loved about herself was her control and security about her image and physic.

Because her body belonged only to her. No one could take that away was what she thought. Until now. It was stolen from her.

“Why do I have the feeling you’re hiding something?” Lena questioned inquisitively and the blond paled.

“I… er, how… what do you mean?” she stuttered and fixed the glasses again “Hiding? Ho-how…”

“You have this habit” she explained “of hiding what you really feel and giving too much of yourself to people you think need it more than you do. What happened in those two months when you disappeared? That you didn’t answer my calls, my texts. Why do you…” she sighed. Not wanting to ask her friend that but her concerns were greater than what she wanted or not “why don’t you ever talk about him?”

Kara sighed not knowing how to respond. Of course, they would have to talk about her absence in those two months after the daxamite invasion at some point. It was easier to hide, pretend that she didn’t feel anything or that it didn’t hurt. But it wasn’t like that and her friends thought the reason for her disorientation and sadness was because of losing Mon-El in such a brutal and drastic way. And it wasn’t. The real reason wasn’t that. Sure, having to say goodbye to him unsure if he was going to be okay, or survive, or escape in time still haunted her. Her greatest fear was she might have sent her ex boyfriend to an extremely scary, unknown future.

She would never forgive herself for that.

“I’m sorry…” Lena quickly changed her posture, thinking she crossed a line. It didn’t even surprise her, it was an incorrigible habit. At some point, Lena always ruined a relationship, whether romantic or friendly “I didn’t mean to…”

“Because it still hurts” she interrupted “because it drives me crazy not knowing what happened to him. I don’t… I don’t know what to feel, Lena. I thought… I thought I loved him, I thought Mike was…

“The one” she completed and Kara nodded.

“But he never was, I think” the blond continued “after I saw myself without him by my side… it was like… like a weight lifted off my back and it only made me feel worse” she grimaced “Mike always made me feel guilty for not having enough time for us or for paying too much attention to work, or even for taking time to lunch with you and not him. That’s why I… I tried to change, you know? Because he loved me I had to… love him back…”

So that was the truth. Not that the CEO didn’t already know, because if she had to be honest, she hated that boy. Many times Lena picked up calls from a crying or extremely upset Kara because he treated her like an owner like she and her choices were his. many times she heard her friend complain about how she couldn’t reciprocate her boyfriend’s feelings, how she struggled with her attention between work, her friends, and that Mon-El that demanded all of it. Inside her chest, Lena felt rage, sadness and uncomparable loathe towards the daxamite, how could someone like Mike make someone like Kara feel guilty?

“I knew that Mike had wrong concepts and contrary opinions to mine but I was bought that opposite attracts theory and that people change for love” Kara confessed “and Alex said I should allow myself to give it a shot and I also helped me, I don’t know… is it wrong that I feel relieved? Not… by the fact he is lost somewhere in outer space, but by the idea that his presence isn’t here to make me feel…”

“Wrong?” The warm and shiny blue in the blond’s eyes got new shades as the confessions escaped her lips. Lena had all of them memorized.

“Yeah…” she sighed “I know this sounds like selfishness… and it must be, a little… I think.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being selfish, Kara” Lena intertwined their fingers “It’s not because someone loves you or likes you that you’re obliged to feel the same. That’s a very wrong idea” she explained “you, more than anyone else know my opinion on… Mike” she forced herself to say his name “I never talked about it because it wasn’t and still isn’t my business. But it worries me that, in a way, he treated you as an object and not as someone who can break” Lena sighed “I notice the way you run, how you never put yourself first and think self-care is selfishness. Kara, if you don’t put yourself first, you can’t expect anyone to do it for you” she smiled tenderly and stared at her intensely, trying to speak all her affection in one look “be selfish, at least once. I’m not your priority and can take care of myself.”

“I know you can” Kara looked away. She wasn’t able to deal with that impetuousness now “but I… I don’t feel forced to anything when I’m with you. It’s easy, it’s fun and you’re my best friend.”

“I just don’t want you to get overly involved in this pregnancy and end up getting hurt in the future” she sounded sure “Seedy…”

“It’s still yours” her voice came out sweet “for now she is still yours.”

“I can’t… get attached” Lena confessed “I’m not the best at it and I don’t even know what to do with children.”

“Will you let me help?” she asked tenderly “I’m not here to change your opinion or your choices, but let me help you see the other side of it.”

“I don’t want you to be disappointed, I’m not maternal, Kara” their eyes met again “and I still can’t” she sighed. Her tears wanted to roll and Lena wouldn’t allow it. Not again.

“Hey, deep breaths” Kara rested an arm on her shoulder “today we’re going to the ultrasound and then I want to take you somewhere special. No sad tears, okay?”

“Okay” she took those deep breaths “I hope I don’t cry the next for years after Seedy is born. I’m dead serious.”

“Crying is good, Lena” Kara commented “I… may I?” she pointed a finger to the Luthor’s belly, gesturing to touch it. Lena hesitated for a few seconds, unsure of which wall inside herself was about to crumble at any given moment, at any touch given by Kara in that sensitive part of her body. There was a child in there, she knew that but anytime other people made her feel that truth, it hurt. And her walls fell because she was falling in love with that feeling “If not… can’t… er, forget it…”

“Yes,” she interrupted her, taking her friend’s hand and calmly placing it on her belly. Lena closed her eyes instantly leaving all her fears aside and accepting the despair of being good for someone that depended so much on her. She didn’t want to let that child down “Can you feel it?”

“It’s warmer” Kara smiled amazed and knelt beside her hand, placing her ear right next to it and letting her hair fall on her friend's lap.

The world stopped. There were no other sounds, no people, or any problem.

There was just the fast-paced and strong heart from the one she was going to call son. She felt the tears urging to fall but limited herself to deep breaths. Her fingers caressed the CEO’s skirt tissue and the love she was feeling was capable of tearing her apart. Lena observed the scene: Kara laying on her belly, caressing it and sending shivers through her body. Kara, her best friend, the one who believed her questionless, never doubted her. Kara, the most loving and warm person she had ever met, the woman that made her want to understand and accept the good emotions that could come from unwanted pregnancy.

Her hands felt the blond her on her lap and soon a sweet voice echoed through the room.

“Don’t make your mom cry, alright?” Kara whispered, “she is keeping you warm in there and she needs your strength, though you know nothing about being strong yet…” she smiled her cheeks reddened as she realized what she was doing “if you promise me that, I’ll bring you ice cream after lunch every day” she lowered her voice pretending it was secrecy.

“Kara!” Lena exclaimed and the kryptonian cackled.

“Let’s go to the appointment, mama bear” she teased “but I want ice cream…” Kara pouted making Lena laugh.

“Apparently we have two children here.”

 

***

 

The ultrasound was less embarrassing than Lena thought was going to be. Unlike the other time, she didn’t have to take all her clothes off, only unbutton the lower part of her shirt and her skirt. Luckily Seedy, who was now a grape, was well and growing normally. Doctor Cameron ordered more exams, then asked about nausea and gave the thrilling news that those would probably pass right after the third semester. She also said that the hunger would continue, alongside her skin and breasts' sensitivity, because they were preparing to feed. Just the simple thought of having someone depending on her to get fed made the CEO tear up.

However, a new thought occurred to her: if she gave the child up to adoption, they would never be fed naturally again. And that saddened her. Theoretically, babies needed that connection to their mother. But Lena didn’t want to be a mother, so why did that matter? According to the books Kara gave her, breastfeeding not only optimized that mother/son relationship but also secured their health. Until they were six months old, the baby’s immune system wasn’t completely developed and so they were dependent on the mother’s milk to be protected.

While the Luthor wondered her doubts and fears, Kara tried to understand the friend’s feelings during those consults. Did she feel pain? Panic? Or did Lena think something was being taken from her? Her freedom and well-planned life for example. She didn’t know how to approach that subject and also didn’t want her to start crying. So, she decided she would wait. Wait for Lena to feel comfortable enough to tell her how she really felt, deep in her soul. She wouldn’t make her say it, she didn’t have the right.

“Where are we going?” Lena asked, feeling the car slow down and the driver looking for a place to park “I’m starving.”

“Again?” Kara asked impulsively. They had eaten half an hour ago.

“Are you going to judge me? You?” she arched an eyebrow.

“Me?” the blond laughed “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure” Lena provoked “my best friend is another starving blond. Maybe you are Supergirl” Kara choked and her phone slipped through her hands.

“Hey… I’m not… you” she fumbled and Lena chortled.

“I’m just teasing you, it’s okay. Though you did choose this child over me.”

“Jealous much?” Kara smirked, “I never thought Lena Luthor would feel disadvantaged to a baby.”

“I’m going to start crying and you’re not going to like it, don’t toy with my feelings” she answered sarcastically but the blond had a hard time understanding that. Hence, she pulled her into a tight hug, feeling anxious.

“No, please” Kara sighed “you’re my favorite, you know that.”

“I do, I was just joking” she laughed “I need to breathe, Kara…”

“Right” she cleared her throat “I knew… I already knew that…”

“Again, where are we?” Lena looked through the window “We’re not going to take long, right? I still have to get ready for dinner.”

“Oh, Ra-God” Kara corrected herself quickly, smacking her forehead “the dinner!”

“And you said that with a surprising voice because…?” she raised a brow “you forgot.”

“I did” she frowned.

“I don’t have to…”

“I’ll be there” she interrupted before Lena could start the same speech “I just don’t know… what to wear.”

“Don’t worry about that” Lena smiled calmly “your clothes are perfectly adequate for dinner.”

“Okay.” she sighed unsurely. Of course her flannel shirts and khaki pants weren't a good choice. Damn it.

They got out of the car and Lena asked the driver to wait wherever suited him better, after all, she didn’t know how much time they were going to take. What kind of place was that? She paid attention to the details and started making notes. There was a showcase exposing various products for pregnant women, babies, and a few baby carriages. It didn’t look like a big or luxurious place, more like a simple store hidden between normal houses and other little stores. In fact, that was more of a residential neighborhood, the houses were surrounded by green gardens and kids toys.

Kara guided Lena inside and greeted the lady standing behind the desk. They walked through the side hallway to the back, where there were two small rooms and an open area with tables and chairs perfectly placed under blue sunblinds. Also, many vases filled with different, colorful flowers composed the simple and cozy decoration. But, what caught the Luthor’s attention was the men sitting on a sofa and a group of women laughing walking around the tables.

What the fuck was that place?

“Kara, where are we?” Lena asked, feeling uncomfortable and out of place. She trusted her friend but hated not knowing what was happening.

“I… er…” she scratched the back of her neck and felt her cheeks burn “right…. I don’t know how to explain.”
“You can start from the beginning” Lena crossed her arms “what are we doing here?”

“Hey!” a blond lady approached them smiling with excitement “are you two new here?”

“Yes,” the younger Danvers answered, frowning, feeling the weight of her friend’s eye on her.

“Welcome!” she exclaimed “I’m the owner of the store and also one of the teachers, my name is Zara, nice to meet you” Zara introduced herself shaking Kara’s hand “What are your names?”

“I’m Kara and this is Lena” she pointed to her friend, who was still quiet, which frightened her a bit.

“Right, Lena, how many months?” Zara turned to the Luthor and smiled. Lena shot a confused look at Kara.

“How do you know I’m pregnant?”

“I’ve worked with this longer than you can imagine, dear” she answered kindly “our class is about to begin so go to the first room to the right and choose your seats, okay?”

“We’ll go soon, we just need to… talk” Kara shook her head nervously. Her fright grew gradually. She knew she should have asked Alex whether that was a good idea or not. Shit.

The blond lady left them and went to call the others. Only then Lena realized all people there were couples and all ladies were pregnant. She started getting it slowly and turned to look at her friend. Of course, she had nothing to worry about, it’s not like anyone there was going to harm her. She took a deep breath and tried not to panic. It was clear in Kara’s blue eyes that her intentions were the best and that she was as red as a tomato from nervousness.

“Can you begin to explain it to me, please?” Lena asked. Her breathing wasn’t of help and being there made her extremely uncomfortable.

“Uh… I kind of enrolled in some classes… for… pregnant women” she explained frowning “I’m sorry…. I, God! I should have asked you or asked for my sister’s opinion… I’m sorry.”

“Classes for pregnant? That’s a thing?” she laughed “and what are we, supposedly, learning here.”

“Er… many things” Kara made funny gestured with her hands and Lena chuckled “how to deal with symptoms, how to take care of a baby and there are other parents here too! I thought… I thought it might help you not feel so lost” and help me too, Kara thought but kept to herself.

“Right” Lena sighed. She didn’t feel like staying and wanted much less to be around other pregnant women. But, how could she say no to that cute, frowning 5 foot 9 of blue eyes and cuteness?

Fuck. Damned hormones.

“We’re going to participate in one class and if I don’t enjoy it…”

“We’re never coming back, I promise” the blond jumped in excitement “pinky promise!

“And what pinky promising is, exactly?” Lena questioned.

“Oh, God!” she extended an arm of chivalry for her friend “you have so much to learn” she teased.

“And would my life be without you, right?” Lena used her best ironic tone and accepted the arm “my hero” she whispered teasingly, seeing the red creep in Kara’s cheeks.

 

***

 

After reaching an agreement about the classes, Kara asked Lena to put on something more comfortable, since the practical parts of the class were on the floor. And, of course, the blond had come prepared with a change of clothes for her friend. Each couple was sitting on small mattresses, mommies in the front and daddies behind. The room wasn’t big but the decoration was very charming. Pastel blue, pink, and yellow mixed together and harmonized the walls and furniture. Some dolls and books were also displayed on the shelves, alongside baby utensils, and books and articles about pregnancy and babies. Lena had never seen so many things regarding pregnancy in one room.

They picked one of the mattresses left and set on the half-circle the other participants had formed, facing a small whiteboard hanging on the central wall. It was completely bizarre for Lena to think she and her best friend were next to so many couples, about to have children, and they didn’t even date or were about to be mothers. It seemed like they were frauds. There were two couples, one to their left and the other to their right and, as the Luthor accommodated herself beside Kara she felt someone touch her shoulder and quickly turned to face who it was.

 

“Are you Lena Luthor?” A dark-haired woman asked, smiling.
Lena automatically prepared herself for the worse. Her brain went to defense mode in a matter of seconds, ready to strike back against any mean or cynical comment about her reputation. Of course, she thought to herself, at some point someone would recognize her and ask her how could she bear a child. A defenseless, innocent being, dragged into the hell that was her family. Her mind was accustomed to hearing unjust criticism about herself, but her heart ached a bit, knowing it was going to be related to her brother and mother.

“Of course you are, I’d recognize those eyebrows anywhere!” the woman kept going excited, she had somewhat latino traces, Lena raised an eyebrow, more aware of them. Another cold hand touched her arm and she turned again, finding a beautiful pair of light brown eyes staring at her.

“I can’t believe we're going to have you here, I didn’t even know you were pregnant!” the woman was agitated “by the way, I loved the outfit you wore for Forbes the day after the alien invasion” she winked “I wish I was that beautiful and powerful to be on the cover of something that isn’t old portraits in my house.”

Okay, the CEO was definitely not expecting that. They weren’t criticizing her or quoting her mistakes in alphabetical order. Had she become some sort of female icon? No, that wasn’t possible. Lena could never be such a thing. But looking at the two women beside her, all she saw was admiration and pride, like she was a step forward for women. And no, she had no idea how to deal with that. She had dry and quick answers on the tip of her tongue, dripping with sarcasm, but what would her response be for that affection?

Lena felt like crying and cursed herself for that.

“You can cry, get all those hormones out before you explode” the latina smiled “the first trimester, right?” Lena nodded and felt Kara’s hands caress her back silently.

“How do you know that?” she asked back curiously. Why did everyone suddenly know when she was due to? “Is that some kind of superpower pregnants have?”

“I’m Ramona,” the other woman said smiling “and no, Julie is on her second pregnancy so she knows things by memory. We end up memorizing it.

“Nice to meet you” Julie smiled “don’t worry, the crying phase ends soon and then you get to the angry stage. You’re going to feel like murdering the first person who leaves a wet towel on the bed or forgets to put the toilet lid down.” she punched her husband lightly, who was very concentrated on his phone.

“I prefer being angry than crying” Lena confessed “and about this pregnancy… I…

“Don’t worry about it” Ramona held her arm carefully “here you’re just another pregnant lady filled with annoying hormones and weird desires” she winked and Lena chuckled.

“And who is this blond with you” Julie pointed to Kara “I’m glad we have a lesbian couple, at least now I can know what would it be like if I had married a woman. Men are a pain in the ass.” she looked over to her husband, unaware of the conversation.

“I bet sex with women is a hundred times best than with men” Ramona whispered and Kara felt like burying her head in the first hole she could find “by the way, you make a beautiful couple.”

Oh, Rao. That was all she needed.

“If your baby is born with her smile I will be obliged to offer my oldest son in marriage” the other woman joked “boy or girl, doesn’t matter.”

“Kara is just…” Lena tried to explain but was interrupted by the teacher they had talked to earlier “I’m sorry…” she whispered to her friend. Kara smiled tenderly and searched for her hand, intertwining their fingers.

“Good afternoon, mommies and daddies” the teacher spoke, excited “thank you for joining us for another class and today we have a new couple with us” she pointed to Lena and Kara, who almost choked together with the ‘couple’ part “welcome! Today we are going to talk about food and eating during pregnancy and our practical lesson will be about the basic needs we are going to have to deal with during the first year of the baby’s life. Now, please, each daddy take one doll and the utensils I left separated” she pointed to the enormous table “then take your seats again.”

The men got up and, when Lena moved to follow them, Kara held her lightly by the wrist, making it clear she was taking that role during the classes. Not that Lena minded being both roles for the baby because, in truth, she already thought she was going to be the two. Even if she decided against giving the baby up for adoption, the CEO didn’t expect Supergirl to come and help her raise that child. She was going to be a single mom, dedicating her whole self to maternity, and would not be disappointed to represent everything that child needed.

However, that wasn’t the way things went and she felt a bit relieved, knowing her best friend was so willing to dive her whole self into that adventure.

“Two babies?” Lena questioned turning to Ramona and her husband.

“Twins” she answered, gently caressing her belly “I’m four months in.”

“Oh…” she had never met anyone expecting two babies at the same time “and… does it hurt?”

“Not really, it’s just more tiresome” she shook her shoulders. The Luthor thought it was amazing how the lady looked so unconcerned and carefree, even knowing she was about to mother two at the same time “though I eat for three people and soon will be looking like a whale.” Ramona sighed making Lena and Julie laugh.

“What exactly do we have to do?” Kara asked, walking back to the group and carefully giving the doll to her friend. “this bag weighs about eleven pounds, I’m not kidding.”

“Be prepared, mommy” Julie teased “the tendency is only to get heavier.”

“Okay!” the teacher called for attention “it’s important for everyone to know that it’s not only the mom’s job to change diapers, wake up six times per night and do all the chores relating to the baby” she shot a fun look to the men “it’s time for everyone to participate and I assure you are not going to regret it.”

“What is this for?” the blond whispered to the CEO.

“I have no idea.”

“The first step is: know the phases of a child” Zara continued “newborns usually are easier to change diapers because their movements are still slow and their reflexes are still in development. However, they cry a lot!”

“Excuse me!” a tall, incredibly thin, and pretty woman abruptly opened the door and smiled “I’m sorry, got stuck in traffic.”

“No problem, Emily” Zara greeted her and pointed to an empty mattress “please come in and take a seat. Oh, also grab one of the dolls, please.”

Lena observed the dark-haired woman walk through the room, she had piercing blue eyes and the noise from her thin high heels echoed with each confident step she took, the CEO wondered where her partner was, after all, that was a couple’s class. Not that she was judging, Kara and she were far from being a couple and Lena didn’t even think about committed relationships right now. Dating only brought frustrations and complications and the last thing she needed was another problem to deal with. A pregnancy was enough trouble to go through and Lena was glad to have the blond by her side to give her support and a helping hand. However, it was strange to see that Emily lady look so sure of herself, wearing that dress glued to her Victoria’s Secrets alike body, her belly only showing a small shadow underneath the tissue.

“As I was saying” Zara cleared and throat “your baby’s first month will be frightening and even a cause of desperation. You will see him so little and fragile that you will be afraid of hurting him, but you don’t have to be.” she smiled warmly “if you know how to keep calm and deal with the baby tenderly, your child will soon get used to your touch and begin to recognize it. That said, today I will show you some diaper brands, types of wet wipes, antiallergic medication, rash and roasting cream, and other important things.” the teacher sat on the floor in front of the class and laid her doll over the mattress. “lay your babies over the changer and remove their clothes carefully, remember: they are very fragile. After you’ve undressed them, it’s time to change the diaper.”

“What is a changer?” Kara asked nervously, taking all the clothes out of the enormous bag “why are there so many things here?”

“I don’t know, don’t look at me like I’m the expert here” Lena grumbled. All couples had already found the objects with ease and were waiting for further instructions “Christ, who needs all that? It's just a baby!” Lena said exasperated, trying to find the damned changer.

“Here” Ramona took the small, rectangular blanket, one side soft fur, and the other plastic. “this side up.”

“Thank you,” Kara murmured and sighed. Rao, that was hard!

“How do you unbutton this?” Lena was looking for the zipper but all she found was a ton of buttons “honestly, I have machined on the lab that is easier to use.”

“Lena!” the blond laughed “Seedy isn’t a machine” she sighed “how does that woman manage to do all this alone?” Kara pointed, not so discreetly, to Emily.

“I don’t know but I won’t let her do better than me.” the CEO affirmed and suddenly felt determined. She was a Luthor and would not allow for someone like that, and younger than her to defy her and win. She was not going to let that strange woman put her to shame.

“Oh, are we competitive today?” Kara teased.

“Don’t provoke me and make yourself useful” the CEO mode was activated and the kryptonian couldn't help to find it hot “aha! It’s not that complicated, is it?” Lena cheered “Let’s get to the next phase.”

“We’re not in a game, Lena” the blond was amused.

“Always showing off” Julie commented and frowned, staring at the solitary woman on the other side of the room “ugh, she pisses me off so much.”

“Who? That Emily?” Lena whispered, hit with curiosity.

“Yes, her” Ramona answered “miss beautiful who happens to be a single mother, which is fine, obviously. What annoys me is that she’s so…” she pointed to the woman, making funny gestures “Emily is five months pregnant and looks like a Kardashian, not to mention that she’s great in everything she does.”

“Five months!” Kara widen her eyes “her stomach looks like mine when I finish lunch!”

“That’s because you eat for three, darling” Lena smiled “and you’re not pregnant with twins.”

“Take the diapers, cream, and wet wipes!” the teacher instructed. She talked non-stop about the various types of food and nutrients in each type of meal. To be fairly honest, the Luthor didn’t mind what she needed to eat, as long as she was capable of not murdering anyone out of hunger.

“On which side do you put this?” the blond asked, lost. Lena was sitting beside her, legs crossed, looking confusedly at the doll “is this turned to the front?”

“I think it’s back” Lena retorted “does it matter?”

“The drew side is always front” Julie explained, fixing the diaper that was put completely wrong “if there isn’t any drawing, the flaps are always next to the bum, see?”

“You don’t need to panic” Ramona calmed them “we’re not in a fire simulation.”

“It would be better if we were” Lena grumbled. She observed Emily from the corner of her eye and envy crawled into her chest. How did that model prototype manage to be so perfect? Fuck!

“Darling, can you help me with my bra?” Ramona called her husband and loosed the strap, asking if that was alright “God, I think my boobs are going to explode! Does your nipple get sensitive as hell too?” she questioned the CEO “who looks at my shirt thinks my horny 24/7, it’s embarrassing.”

Kara felt her cheeks burn and put her full attention to changing the doll’s diapers. Although she knew or had an idea, that her friend was going through the same thing, it was different to hear it said out loud. Not to mention her mind wandered far, imagining if Lena had sensitive nipples. Rao! How could she think about that? Kara shook her head in a useless effort to get that image out of her mind. They were just friends. Friends who are going to have a baby, she thought to herself.

“Like you aren’t!” Julie shot back “I could have sex five times a day!”

Oh, Rao. Not that subject.

“Uh, and how do you deal with that?” Ramona smirked, “long showers are good to relax.”

“Sometimes I feel like I could come with just someone breathing beside me and my boobs… God!” Lena exclaimed, still entertained with the fake child’s clothes. Kara almost choked on her tongue and her face was red as a tomato, she coughed hard and forgot how to breathe “hey, are you okay?” Lena turned to her and hit the blond’s back lightly “deep breaths.”

“I hope your wife deals well with it” Julie continued and looked at Kara. The Luthor felt her whole body react to the term ‘wife’ “it’s still six months of that libido to go.”

“In doubt, keep a vibrator in your drawer” Ramona smirked and Kara, on the peak of nervousness, squeezed the cream too hard, making the white, perfumed cream fall on her jeans.

Rao, she was out of control. In no time her brain constructed the not so innocent image of her best friend with a vibrator. Rao! What did Lena mean about someone breathing next to her? Did her friend feel like that with her?

Nope. Kara did not want to know.

“Okay, let’s move to the next lesson and then we’re approaching a delicious subject” Zara laughed “sex and masturbation” the couples laughed along.

Once again, the blond squeezed the cylinder, and what was left of the cream feel on the floor. She was going to die, she was sure. There was no more salvation for Kara Danvers after that class.

Rao, why did she always have the worst ideas?

 

***

Alex didn’t stop laughing after she heard every detail about the unusual and bizarre class her sister attended. Her stomach was hurting and spilled half the water she was drinking. Never one day Alex thought she would hear her little sister grumble so nervously about such a subject. Sure, Kara was annoyingly innocent and absurdly slow during most conversations. However, when it came to Lena Luthor, the redhead noticed certain reactions from the blond that she was unable to contain. Alex wished she filmed all times her sister hid her face between her hands and whimpered about how embarrassed it was when the teacher mentioned the many ways to achieve orgasm alone. Or how to stimulate their partners to enjoy that phase as well.

Certainly, Kara was not going to help the CEO with that and she didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. Rao, her brain was about to explode and all her brain cells were exhausted.

“Do you know there are more than five typed of wet wipers? And that newborns poop four times a day and that can breastfeed every hour?” Kara continued rambling.

“I guess so” Alex wiped the tears rolling from the laughing “now thrice that amount since it’s your child.”

“Rao!” the blond threw herself on the sofa “Seedy is going to eat twice as much as a normal baby.”

“Poor, Lena” she took a sip of water and changed the subject “what do you have planned for dinner? Have you chosen your outfit yet? Are you ready to meet your mother in law?”

“Oh, shi..oot!” Kara hid her face again “I didn’t even stop to think, Lilian is Seedy’s grandmother. How bad is that?”

“I don’t know, but the irony is amusing” the redhead smirked.

“Alex there is nothing funny about it” she whimpered “we’re talking about Lilian Luthor, who hates all my family, will be the grandmother of a kryptonian.

“Karma really is a bitch” Alex commented and saw her sister roll eyes “imagine if it leaked on a magazine: Lena Luthor, mother of aliens.”

“Alex!” the redhead snorted again and tried to breathe.

“Okay, I’m done. But I would give everything to be at this dinner.”

“And you are, you promised!” Kara complained “or I’ll put my suit underneath my clothes.”

“Absolutely not!” the agent got serious “it’s too risky and we’re having other guests there. You’re going to take a shower, get ready, and put on the clothes I specially chose for you. Meanwhile, I and my team will be paying close attention to any sign of danger near your mother in law’s house.”

“Ugh, Alex!” Kara whimpered nervously “she’s not my mother in law. I hate you so much!”

“C’mon, Romeu” Alex pulled her closer “time for a shower.”

Kara, still upset and extremely lost, ran to the bathroom. Taking more time than necessary in there, creating courage to get out. After the failure that class was, the blond got a call from the DEO a made up some dumb excuse, leaving Lena to go back to her apartment alone. It wasn’t like it made much of a difference, she thought to herself, after all, Lena her made new friends, and although Kara knew no one was going to take her place, it bothered not being able to truly relate to what her friend was going through, after all, she wasn’t pregnant and never could be.

One of the disadvantages of being a kryptonian on Earth was that the yellow harmed her physiological system and gradually diminished her chances of getting pregnant over time. During the last consultation she had with a gynecologist, due to some menstrual pains, Kara found out she had become 89% sterile and that number would go up high in a matter of five years. No doctor understood, of course, and Alex made it very clear that it was useless to go to any specialist to try and find some cure to that process. Her chances of being a mother and dreams of it were buried. She would never know what it felt like to carry a child in her.

This discovery broke her completely in the first months, Kara was only eighteen and all that glamour of girlish dreams about being married and bearing a child that would have her eyes or her partner’s nose, those daydreams still lived in her. During high school, most girls talked about that, it was everybody’s plan to get married and have children. Sweet childish dreams. The kryptonian liked to think someday she was going to have a small copy of her running around the house. But now, she learned to avoid those wises and almost eight years later, she prefers not to think about it.

As she left the bathroom, Alex was waiting for her, smirking maliciously. That day was, by far, the weirdest one of her life. And if her organism allowed it, she would definitely have nervous gastritis.

 

***

 

Lena took longer to shower than she had planned and, unlike her best friend, she had different reasons for it.

After the class, Lena felt lighter, knowing all her symptoms were normal, many people during pregnancy went through the same and there was no reason to go insane. Crying was normal and it would pass, at least those news were relieving, after three months with no control over her tears. Her body relaxed as the driver made the way home, but her mind worked like a machine. Her skin had goosebumps and shining with a thin layer of sweat that had just formed. Lena felt her blood fever inside her veins again.

She was hot. Again.

Shit. The CEO hated when that happened and she didn’t have a decent or private place to relieve herself. It was an uncontrollable desire that came and went out of nowhere. Most times she condemned herself for feeling like that, this unceasing combustion, in the middle of work and even in the middle of meetings. For heaven's sake, she couldn't even close her eyes that her mind wandered far, bringing the illusion of sex to her body. And in that illusion, her body reacted, shooting heat weaved through it. Arriving at her apartment, Lena quickly undressed and went straight to the bathroom, taking a quick look in the mirror and trying to not be disappointed by the image.

The warm water helped her muscles to relax and the cold wind coming through the window made her realize how hot her skin was. God, she was literally soaked. Her hand slithered between her breasts and her finger gently caressed each sensitive, hardened nipple. Only when her body ached in response Lena let herself make noise and moaned grasping, she bit her lips and closed her eyes, feeling each drop of water fall on her.

“Oh, fuck…” the moan came out raspy and low.

It didn’t take long for her to put two fingers inside herself and rub her thumb over the clit that was swollen and begging for attention. Goosebumps went through her back and she panted. Her mind wandered off, imagining two firm hands pressing her waist, a pair of arms holding her, and blue eyes shining with a hunger for her. Her fingers paced faster, in and out. She came. And then regret came. Maybe… maybe Lena had thought of a specific person while doing that. She denied herself and that fact. Admitting it would only make things worse.

“Lena, you are so stupid” she sighed alone, her heart still racing.

Ignoring the shame in her chest, Lena applied shampoo to her hair and took a deep breath. She cursed herself quietly for feeling that way for someone who could never desire her back. Tears rolled down her face, hot and acid. Lena chose the easy way out and blamed the pregnancy, again. Her lack of control was taking her to places of stress and anger she never thought possible. The woman from the class came back to her mind and she repeated to herself that all was going to end soon. Just six months left.

Gradually the rush of pleasure passed and Lena was finally able to finish her shower, just in time to get ready. Kara was going to be with her tonight and if there was one thing the Luthor treasured was her friendship with the charmest reporter from National City.

She was not going to let some lack of control or annoying hidden feeling for the blond ruin the only good thing that she had gotten that year. Lena was glad to bury it all as deep as she could.

Chapter 7: You're not like your mom

Notes:

Happy New Year, everyone!

My New Year's Resolution is to post at least one chapter per week ;)

Enjoy!

Chapter Text

“Let me see it again,” Alex asked for the hundredth time “C’mon!”

“Alex!” Kara sighed tiredly and unbuttoned her shirt, showing only a white bra underneath it “satisfied?”

“Very much so” the redhead smiled presumptuous “I need to make sure you’re not planning anything and that everything goes as we planned.”

“I feel useless like this” the superhero rolled her eyes. Her sister could be very bossy sometimes. “What if something happens?”

“Then I and my team will be there to help you” she explained, “while you take care of your friend and your kid, okay?”

Kara didn’t answer but she was obviously going to take care of both. With or without the suit, the blonde would risk everything for that strange little family. Sure, Lena didn’t know about her secret identity and it was a secret she hated keeping but they had bigger problems now, so that was going to have to wait. The National City’s population knew about Supergirl and the Luthor’s friendship and that was enough danger. In the L-Corp event, there had been an attack on Lena’s life and that led Kara to desperation. What if one day she failed? What if it was her fault?

Supergirl would never forgive herself, especially now the two people she loved the most were in only one body. The kryptonian was sure of her decision, for now, hiding her other self was for the best.

However, her big sister was getting in the way of her plans. Kara was going to have dinner in a place she had never been to that also happened to be her archenemy’s home: Lilian Luthor. Not to mention that Lilian knew her secret and if she found out about the baby’s other mother, everything could fall apart. That made her nervous, worried and at times, desperate. Soon, Lena’s belly was going to show and questions would be made, most were going to be completely invasive. The media always haunted her best friend, whether they meant good or bad, mostly it was bad, it was invasive and harmful towards the woman who couldn't catch a breath.

It was no coincidence that these days, Kara had been avoiding Snapper as much as she could, for her boss had been suspicious about the CEO’s silence since the daxamite invasion. He wanted to know what she was doing, what she was up to, and even where Lena was having lunch, and he wanted to use his best source for that: the young Danvers. Of course, Kara would never use the fact that the Luthor was her best friend to get such information, she would never do such a thing. Their interviews were most times, to talk about grand benevolent events made by the company and that Lena gave all of herself for them. When the reporter wasn’t complimenting L-Corp’s amazing scientific discoveries and progress, she was disproving the cruel lies people made up about her friend.
Kara would do anything to make sure Lena wouldn’t be seen as another Luthor.

“Is it good like this?” Kara frowned, fixing her hair.

“You look great,” Alex answered, gathering her things around the room “I’ll be listening and Winn is going to be with us too, okay?”

“Yeah” she sighed “where are you going?”

“To meet Maggie at her’s” Alex smiled weakly “and don’t forget to take this” she gave her sister a flower, making her raise an eyebrow “what? It’s romantic.”

“Alex, this isn’t a date” Kara repeated for the fifth time that night “and what flower is this anyway?”

“A white chrysanthemum” the redhead left the meaning of the plant aside but it fit the situation perfectly.

The doorbell rang and the blonde was so anxious she didn’t hear her friend’s steps through the hallway.

“Oh, Rao…” Kara inhaled “are you sure this is going to work?”

“Keep that smiled, give her this flower and leave me the rest” she winked “c’mon, answer the door.”

“R-right..”

As she found her friend standing out of the door, Kara was sure the world stopped. She was able to hear Lena’s heartbeat-like drums in a quiet room and Seedy’s heartbeat just as strong behind it. But they had no chance against her own panicked heart. The sweet perfume invaded her nose, almost exploding her lungs in excitement and pleasure, the young Danver’s favorite smell. Lena was dazzling, her eyes looked as if they had gained a new color, almost crystal. Her black, slightly wavy hair fell on her shoulders with elegance, it was breathtaking. The bordeaux plaid skirt outlined every curve of her body, from her high waist until the lower knee. Her tights looked as if they were made to fit that piece. The white shirt, covered by a beautiful laced tissue only made Lena’s skin more evident, a creamy white.

She was fucked, completely fucked. If she was able to sweat, her hands would be dripping.

“As entertaining it is to watch you two, I really need to go” Alex broke the moment “and you, Luthor, take care of her or you’re going to have to deal with me” she smiled, Lena didn’t even blink, she was so lost.

“Er… sure” Lena answered, exhaling, and only then realizing she was holding her breath “sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

“I thought so” the redhead provoked “bring my sister back alive and fully dressed, understood?”

“Alex!” Kara finally reacted, her face turning bright red “didn’t you say you had to go?” she pointed to the corridor.

“This is how you thank me?’ she dramatized and laughed “you two have a good evening” Alex walked through the door and stared at the Luthor “behave.”

“Alex, bye!” the blonde pushed her sister to the corridor “shall we?” she turned to her friend who was still silent.

Lena looked like she was in an endless trance and far away from that moment. Of course, Alex was not going to make things easier for the CEO. Because of that, when she remembered the dinner, Alex was sure to pick the best outfit for Kara, aware that it was going to bring the Luthor’s useless lesbian persona. And also the useless lesbian inside her young sister because if there was one thing the agent knew was that Lena Luthor knows how to dress. She was always flawless, perfect makeup and clothes tracing the curves of her elegant body.

“Lena?”

“Ah, yes” the CEO coughed fixing her posture “let’s go, the driver is waiting for us.”

“Wait, wait…” Kara held the other’s arm, feeling the electrical shock between the skins, and took a step back “this, er… this is for you…” she turned to the white flower “I… I, er… I know this isn’t a date and… not that it couldn’t be and if it was it’d be fine… but it isn't which is okay too and I…” Lena smiled half smirking and watched Kara place the flower on her blazer’s pocket.

“I love it” the Luthor stared into her eyes and the tension could burn the whole building down “ready?” she intertwined their arms and quietly wished that was a peaceful night.

“Ready” the blonde guided her to the exit, wishing her heart would stop trying to escape her chest.

 

***

 

During the way, Kara wanted to ask a million questions, she didn’t want to feel embarrassed in the house of National City’s scariest woman. However, she didn’t have the guts. In fact, she didn’t want to interrupt the private melody of two hearts beating steadily fast. She wanted to touch her belly again, to feel the warmth against her palm and talk to her child, she wanted to say she was there for her and to protect Seedy. But her courage only grew shorter as the car made its way. Which Lea was very grateful for, she was not in the state to answer any questions or deal with such action at that moment.

Lena’s mind was still heavy with guilt for what she had done in the bathroom, making her heart sink, and the guilt poison her soul. It was no secret for her that she was completely attracted and helplessly in love with her best friend, but Lena felt she was crossing all lines. She never was an expert on friendships or any personal relationships, to be honest, her personal life was always chaotic, that when it wasn’t nonexistent. Dealing with papers, numbers, contracts, and investors were much easier than to allow herself to feel and let someone get to know her in intimate ways. One day, her mind told her, one day you’re going to lose your friend.

Her thoughts and fears scared Lena day and night, making that pregnancy much harder than it already was.

Looking at Kara again, Lena noticed how blue her eyes were that night, she sighed charmed. Kara was extraordinary, gifted with rare and unusual beauty. Anyone could fall in love with her sweetness, tenderness, joy, and good humor. Lena couldn’t understand why, out of everyone in the world, the young Danvers chose her as a best friend. Why her? Why not another woman? Kara had so much potential and her heart could love anyone, any being from Earth or not, and still, there she was, sitting beside her. So close.

So close it hurt. It hurt not being able to touch her, not to tell her how she felt, and let all her fears out. As much as the Luthor was to tell her, it wasn’t fair. No one should carry someone else’s burden as Lena was sure her friend would want to carry hers, to protect her from all evil in the world, because that was who Kara was. Kara was made of compassion, mercy, love, and sacrifice. And for that reason, the CEO never thought herself deserving of that friendship. They were opposites.

But opposites attract. Pure magnetism. Lena wanted to believe science instead of her heart. Although, deep down, they both said the same thing.

“I’m nervous” Kara whispered walking to the front door of that mansion “what if… your mom doesn’t… like me? What if I… embarrass you?” she looked at the building and started to pick her nails “what if…”

“Breathe” Lena spoke softly “first of all, my mother doesn’t like anyone besides herself” and my brother thought but kept it to herself “and secondly, you never embarrass me. I don’t want you to pretend to be someone you’re not because we’re here. I know you and I ad… I like you the way you are.” Lena cursed herself for that mistake that almost came out. Hell.

“Okay,” she sighed “are my clothes okay? Do I have anything on my teeth?” Kara smiles exaggeratedly, trying to break the tension.

“Yes, daddy” Lena teased “you look incredibly…” hot, sexy, beautiful, and making me lose my mind she said mentally “great!” Lena sighed, feeling her hands sweat. She could not be turned on right there, right now, and especially with her friend next to her.

“Daddy?” Kara frowned “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Doesn’t matter” she waved it off feeling waves of heat travel down her body. “Let’s get in. Forget about it.”

“But I didn’t even get it” the blond complained “I’m…” her stomach roared, making Lena arch an eyebrow and her cheeks turn red “hungry…”

“Me too…” seconds later Lena’s stomach roared “I don’t like this plot of you two” her hand found its way to her belly “please, don’t exaggerate tonight,” Lena said to her belly.

“I’ll eat for you, Seedy” Kara pretended to whisper, making Lena laugh.

Before Lena could ring the bell, Lilian opened the door and smiled tastefully at the scene. Of course, her daughter would bring that lying CatCo reporter and National City hero. Lilian inhaled, controlling herself not to spill the truth right there, and made space for them to come in. The older woman hoped the other guests wouldn’t be bothered by the blond’s presence, after all, she wasn’t a Luthor and couldn’t even talk decently to the others on the table.

“I thought you weren’t coming” Lilian commented, closing the door.

“I thought so too” Lena answered defensively “Kara is my guest tonight, I hope you don’t mind” she was polite but fiercely putting her arm around Kara’s.

“Welcome,” Lilian smiled without looking at Kara and then pointed the way “I expect you to keep your posture and behave like the Luthor I raised you to be. Don’t make a scene, the world doesn’t revolve around you or even cares about your emotional or personal problems” Lilian spoke with her head high “are we understood?” she turned quickly to look down on her daughter.

“Yes, mother.”

The house was much bigger than Kara had thought, she had never stepped on such an immense and luxurious place. Lilian led them through the hallways to the dining room, where a couple and a young man were sitting comfortably around the table. Lena felt her body shiver and her stomach rolled every time her mother came to near her. Lena was unsure if it was out of fear, distrust, or disgust. It felt like her body refused to be a certain distance close to her mom, which worried Lena since they were going to spend the whole evening next to each other. Being in that place brought a lot of painful memories back, things Lena would rather never think about ever again. That mansion belonged to her brother and was out of use for years, ever since his arrest.

Passing through the rooms, each space of that cold and dark place, Lena remembered what it was like to grow as a Luthor. Lilian was never the mother Lena wanted or needed, she was always present but in an abusive and scary way. Her life changed completely after Lionel picked her from that orphanage, not that Lena would have rather stayed there, orphanages, most times, are terrible, and to grow around a bunch of strange, mentally destroyed, and psychologically unprepared children sounded like a nightmare. Lex had been her refuge during all those dinners with rich families in boring clubs, he was her partner in crime to escape boring lunches with vultures and people asking about L-Corp.

Lena was forced to dress according to her mother’s will, to behave like a lady, speak like an adult, and smile like a doll. She was always flawless inexpensive dresses, fancy shoes, hair up, and wide attention eyes. She couldn’t speak without her mother’s permission, couldn’t give her opinion or say what was on her mind, Lena wasn’t even allowed to play with the other magnates’ children. Her life was made of rules. Time to wake, to sleep, to eat, to study, and even to go outside. Lilian made her study in an all-girls boarding school, forcing her to pick at least one sport and signing her in many extracurricular activities. The little Luthor barely had time to breathe, to read the books she wished to, or to be a child.

Before going to sleep, Lena always stayed up imagining what it would have been like to be raised by her real mother. Lilian made sure to constantly remind her she wasn’t part of that family and she would have to work twice as hard to be half of what Lex was. Lena had no wish of being the best, the bravest, or a Luthor. She just wanted to be herself.

Her heart was heavy with all the memories that came in a flood. Her hand instinctively went to her belly and she apologized in silence. Lena couldn’t bear the risk of raising that child the same way she was raised or to let someone else carry the burden of the Luthor name. Lena knew nothing about motherhood, about being a mother, or about affection. Mathematics, physics, science, now those she understood. Lena could never be the mother that baby needed, even if she wanted to be, even if she already felt the love. It wasn’t a choice. Being a Luthor meant sacrifice and requirements. That small Seedy needed to be happy and have the childhood every baby deserves to have. And this wouldn’t happen if Lena were her mother.

By the table there was a child, maybe ten years old, and next to him sat an old lady, wearing a white uniform, watching the boy play something on his phone. The Luthor observed his mother, blond with a red lipstick too dark for her skin tone, she paid no attention to the boy. The other two young men, one that Lena assumed was the kid’s father, due to their similarity talked to each other loudly, also ignoring the boy’s existence. The nanny was there just to make sure he drank, ate, and behaved.

The scene made Lena’s head ache and her stomach roll again.

“Hey…” Kara whispered and reached for her hand under the table “Is everything okay? Are you in pain?”

“I’m… sick” Lena complained “but fine.”

“Are you sure?” Lena nodded and they were interrupted.

“Lena, it’s been so long since the last time I saw you” the blond woman smiled politely, “your mother told me about all your achievements in L-Corp and I must say I am surprised. I wasn't expecting so much.”

Kara could feel the poison dripping from those words and her fist closed forcefully. She couldn’t lose her composure and embarrass Lena, only because of that, Kara controlled herself.

“Well, from someone like you, I expected more scandals, given all the insanity that surrounds this family” the woman continued “but you’re overcoming some expectations.”

“How kind of you, but I…”

“Lena did more than she should have for this city and the people” Kara interrupted her friend. Her voice was strong and determined. Kara fixed the glasses on her nose and kept going “I don’t know if you read the news three months ago, but we were going to face a mass enslaver of the human race if she hasn't adapted the device created by Lex to get rid of Superman. If it weren’t for Lena, we wouldn’t be here having the conversation and listening to untruthful criticism without any reasonable argument.

“Wow” the lady smiled “I must admit I didn’t hear much about it, we were on vacation on an island in the Philippines” she shook her shoulders as if nothing had happened “and who are you, by the way?

“Kara Danvers” Kara said proudly, feeling Lena’s stare on her “CatCo reporter.”

“Lena doesn’t deserve all this credit” Lillian interrupted before the subject died “the device was created by my son and had another purpose, one that I appreciated much more” she smiled and the others smiled back, leaving Kara completely uncomfortable and frightened “Rhea, the queen of the daxamites, managed to fool Lena into building a portal where all these… aliens could pass through. Who makes a mess has to deal with the consequences and Lena did nothing more than to fix the mess she made” Lilian placed a hand on her daughter’s shoulder and another wave of sickness attacked Lena’s body.

“I thought Luthors weren’t easy to fool” the older man commented “Mrs. Wilson, please, take him outside or somewhere else, this noise is disturbing us,” he ordered and the boy was taken from the dining room.

“Posture, Lena” Lilian whispered to her “what is going on with you? Fix that posture, hands on the edge of the table, and what a mess, you’re sweating.” the mother sighed. Lena did her best to fix her posture, still feeling her stomach twist and making her shiver. The hand was still on her shoulder.

Kara was, obviously, hearing all that. Her superhearing was sensitive and she would have rather not heard Lilian treat her daughter like that like she was a misbehaving child. Even if Lena was a bit stubborn, that was just not right. Lena was always her example of good manners, flawless posture, and strength under any circumstance. However, standing there, surrounded by meek and empty people, it seemed that she went back to being the little scared Lena. The one that listened and obeyed. The one that was afraid so kept quiet.

“I didn’t raise you to be like this, it’s a good thing you all know she’s not my biological daughter.” Lilian carried on, pouring more of the drink for her “Lena always had this innocence that blinded and made her foolish.”

“True, you didn’t raise me to be like this” Lena took the hand on her shoulder off, doing her best to not throw up the little food she had had “you raised me to be ashamed of who I am, to fear everything around me and to look for recognition that I expected to come from you.” she took a deep breath. She was going to break soon “Excuse me” Lena got up quickly and angered, throwing her napkin over the table.

As she saw her friend leave the table, Kara got up and went after her. Her heart ached, hearing Lena sob and slam one of the bathroom doors. She could clearly hear two desperate hearts and wished she could fly them away from that place. Kara waited patiently by the door, shaking with hatred and trying to keep calm. Lena had eaten half of the plate, making the great effort to not eat too much and now there she was, vomiting it all out and probably feeling bad for her lack of control. Now Kara believed she could start to understand everything that was going on with her friend.

Silence reigned over the hallway and weak laughter echoed from the dining room. No one cared about their absence, no one wanted the two women there. Lilian didn’t even come to check on her daughter, to see if she needed help or something of the sort. Nothing. If it was up to anyone there, Lena would be by herself through the rest of the night, and, realizing that Kara felt glad she came.

Kara, what’s going on?

“It’s Lena” Kara answered the hearing device “she… she’s sick.”

Do you need help? You need to get her home.

“I… don’t know, let me ask her” she sighed “if so, I’ll tell you.”

Ok. I’m here anything, really!

“Lena?” Kara knocked softly.

“Go away” Lena murmured, “just… leave me alone.”

“I’m not leaving you alone” she answered firmly but warm. “May I coming in?”
“No…” her voice was weak “just leave me here…”

“I’m waiting for you and am not leaving,” Kara said “even if you don’t let me it”

Silence, again.

Two minutes passed and Kara stepped away from the door, hearing the locker turn and a small gap open. It was dark inside, but Kara could still see and what she saw didn’t please her. Lena was sitting on the floor, arms around her knees and back to the wall, next to the toilet. Her hair stuck in her forehead and cheeks from the cold sweating, making her look paler than she was. That was enough to make Kara rage again and want to go to that dining room and scream at all of them.

Lena wasn’t made of iron and ice. Not like the rest of that family. Cold, heartless, calculating, thirst for power. Lena was just a fragile woman trying to make a name for herself outside the hard legacy her last name carried. That was her Lena, her best friend, and mother of her child.

“Oh, Lena…” Kara sat down beside her and pulled her in her arms, gently tightening her in. Without a second thought, Lena hugged her waist and sobbed again. “Shhh, it will be okay…”

“No, it won’t” Lena whispered, “she’s going to… sh-she…”

“Lilian is not going to do anything” Kara actuated firmly. If that woman even thought about going near her family, Kara was not going to answer for her actions. “Come with me, let’s go” she kneeled facing Lena, and place one hand below her thighs and another on her lower back “hold on to my neck, I’m lifting you.”

Lena put her arms around the blond and felt the heat of her body quickly warm hers. It was like hugging the sun, Lena thought. Her head weighed on her shoulders and soon the stress and tiredness consumed her, making her fall lightly asleep. Although Lena knew she shouldn’t show so much weakness, shouldn’t let her guard down, and let her best friend save her again, the Luthor couldn’t think of anything at that moment. Her stomach still ached and she didn’t understand how she could be so sick so fast, but she also didn’t understand how that sickness disappeared as soon as Kara touched her skin. It reminded her of how hard it was to be around certain people she didn’t know but Lena was in no conditions to make theories.

Lena didn’t know if anything else happened, or how much time it passed, and when she came to herself again, she felt a soft blanket fall on her. Her shoes were taken off and a thicker blanket was put over her and then… then Lena felt something she didn’t know she needed so much.

A kiss on the cheek and a sweet voice saying everything was going to be okay.

 

***

 

“Miss Luthor, here’s the contract you asked for plus the spreadsheets” Jess walked into the room once again that Friday “do you need anything else?” Are you feeling alright today?” Of course, the secretary knew, and even if Lena tried to hide, her thirteen weeks pregnancy was starting to show.

“I’m great, thank you” Lena smiled “I just need to be far from certain smells and foods.”

“Drink a lot of liquid” Jess ordered “I took the liberty to put some natural juices and snacks in the bar, I hope it’s enough.”

“Thank you, Jess” she was honest “I’ll call you if I need anything.”

Lena watched the other woman exit herself and suspired relieved after the door closed. What she most admired in the secretary was her discretion when it came to any subject. Jess knew she was pregnant and probably knew it was a mistake but never asked anything that crossed a line. She didn’t invade her space and her private life, she wasn’t invasive and knew her place in these situations. Still, she worried about Lena. Three weeks had passed since the diner at her mother’s place, Lena still hadn’t had any news from her, for which she was very grateful. There hadn’t been any more sickness or tiredness, she felt strangely energetic.

The morning following the diner at the Luthor mansion, Lena woke up and found a note on top of the kitchen counter, alongside a full breakfast table. Kara had slept on the couch, she knew that for sure, her friend's perfume haunted the whole living room. The blanket, that now she considered it Kara’s, was folded and placed on the table, next to an empty cup. The feeling of knowing she hadn’t been alone and the warmth she felt waking up and finding breakfast ready filled Lena’s heart with something she couldn’t describe. Lena could get used to that, the routine of waking up, reading a note, and knowing that someone watched over her in the night.

However, something inside herself made Lena close her unbreakable glass wall even more. She was going too far, crossing every line and although she knew Kara would never discuss that with her, the Luthor couldn’t allow herself to feel all those wonderful emotions. Holding that thought, Lena thanked the heavens for the excessive amount of work she had due the following weeks and Kara was stuck with piles of articles to get through. That solved the problem of her friend showing up anytime, showing that smile that could light up a whole galaxy and keep anyone around her warm. Lena wouldn’t have to hear about her baby’s development or classes for pregnant women.

Her phone vibrated next to her and she smiled looking at the name above the text.

K: Did you eat? Took your medicine? Are you feeling okay?
K: Sorry… Good morning!

K: Did you know that Seedy is the size of a pod now?

Lena laughed to herself and unblocked the screen to answer.

L: Good morning!

L: Yes, I have, Jess, won’t let me go more than three hours without eating.

L: By the way, this child won’t let me be.

K: What do you mean?

L: Just this week I had your favorite Noonan’s pie three times, besides my dying desire for those potstickers.

K: Oh… I fell in love with the right seedy!

K: Kidding

K: What are your plans for today?

L: I’m finishing a report and some research, but I want to show the last ultrasound images to Supergirl.

K: REALLY?

K: I mean… really?

L: I just pressed the device underneath the desk, waiting for her.

Lena waited for an answer to her text but it never came. Leaving the phone aside, she turned her attention back to the computer screen and carried on with her notes about kryptonians. She felt stupid for continuing doing that and didn’t understand what motivated her between meetings and in her free time to search for information about Krypton and its habitants. It was like something deeper bothered her heart, something greater than a curiosity but the CEO preferred to think it was her right to know more about the mother of her baby.

“Are we hungry again?” Lena caressed her belly feeling her stomach roar “you know, I need you to cooperate with me” she murmured tenderly and walked to the small fridge in her office “let’s make a deal, what do you think?” her belly was only getting more visible “I promise we will eat every three hours if… you allow me to eat something at least a bit more healthy” her stomach roared again and Lena laughed “I’m you mother, you shouldn’t be questioning me.” Lena sighed and grabbed one of the yogurts she knew Seedy liked. Her baby’s stubborn and strong character was impressive.

“Lena?” she heard a known voice calling her from the balcony “er… I mean, miss Luthor” Lena smiled.

“No need for formalities here, I’m carrying your child, remember?” she joked “I hope I didn’t disturb you…”

“No, not at all!” The hero got closer and didn’t know how to proceed. Kara and Lena had a completely different relationship than Supergirl and Lena, which made her extremely confused at times “I… do you need anything?”

“Sit down, please” Lena pointed to the couch “You want anything? Water?”

“No, thank you” Kara sighed nervously and sat on top of the red cape “is that… red fruit yogurt?” her stomach roared making the hero blush. The Luthor raised an eyebrow, curious “sorry, I didn’t have time to lunch yet.”

“How many calories do you need to consume per day? I assume it’s over five thousand since your metabolism needs extra energy for all your activities” the CEO asked “and take this” she handed the pot.

“No, it’s okay.” she refused, frowning, feeling her mouth water.

“There’s a lot more where this came from” Lena insisted “and you shouldn’t contradict a pregnant woman” she smirked, making the blond blush even harder “should I assume it’s your favorite flavor?”

“Yes! How did you know?” she spoke, filling her mouth with it trying not to moan with the taste “Rao! This is wonderful!” Lena laughed at the sight.

“It’s your child’s favorite” Lena explained, not noticing it was the first time she spoke about the baby as Supergirl’s child too. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by the superhero “it’s also Kara’s favorite.” she said randomly.

“And how is the baby? No, actually, how are you?” Supergirl changed the subject quickly “I hope the sickness stopped and…”

“How do you know about the sickness?”

“I… er… Kara commented these days” she lied “anyway, Alex explained to me it’s very common in pregnancies.”

“It is, unfortunately, but I’m glad that phase passed by” Lena sighed “you still haven’t answered me about your diet.”
“Oh, yes! I need at least ten thousand calories a day” Lena spilled the water she was drinking and choked, coughing hard while the blond tapped her back lightly “Lena, are you okay? Oh, Rao… deep breaths! Do you need a doctor? Air?

“No, no…” she coughed again “I’m fine, it’s just… holy shit, ten thousand calories? That’s… wow!” Supergirl felt her cheeks blush.

“Why the question?” now the CEO felt her face go red. How would she confess she was searching for information about the other mother of her baby?

No, she was not going to say that out loud.

“I…” she cleared her throat “do you think there’s any chance this child will have your… powers?” Kara went quiet, she hadn't stopped to consider the possibility yet.

“To be honest, I don’t know” she answered “why? Do you think she might… have any?”

“Maybe” Lena sighed “that would only make things worse…”

“What do you mean?”

“If this child is like you, I can’t simply ignore that fact” she explained “I don’t want anyone taking advantage of it or leaving them unprotected. Who knows what might happen…”

“Oh…” was what Supergirl managed to say “I hadn’t… thought about it this way. You’re right.”

“I need more information, I need to know what to expect from this pregnancy” they stared at each other for a few moments and Lena swore she knew those bright blue eyes from somewhere.

“Well, the DEO has enough technology to deal with it, but I don’t want them anywhere near you or the baby” the hero confessed, fidgeting with her cape “unless… unless you want to, but I…” she sighed “I don’t like that idea.”

“Me neither. Can you convince Alex to help us?” Kara let her chin fall as she heard the word ‘us’.

Was Lena actually asking her to make a decision? Together? Rao! That was so much better than what she had imagined.

 

“Yes! Sure!” Kara smiled, excited “I can speak with her today, and…” sirens coming from a block nearby interrupted them “damn it!”

Lena saw the disappointment in Supergirl’s eyes and allowed herself to feel empathy for the superhero that looked so fragile and vulnerable looking at her. As much as Lena wanted to forget, the girl of steel was also the mother of that life growing inside her, one that gradually won more space on her heart. Even against her will. Not thinking about her action, the CEO reached for Supergirl’s warm hands, feeling her body shiver with the touch. It’s like hugging the sun, she thought. It felt like holding a star in her hands.

Still moved by that warm feeling, Lena took Supergil’s hand and placed it on her belly, smiling shyly, unsure of what to do next. Kara could hear her friend’s heartbeat desperately fast, so strong that she almost forgot about the sirens screaming down the street. Her finger felt the warmth coming from there and her soul absorbed that loving heart. It was perfect, extraordinary and she was barely able to keep tears from falling.

“Ukiemiv’odh w’rrip, eh is’kah“ Kara whispered in love before flying away to save the day again.

 

***

 

During that afternoon, the CEO made herself busy with whatever she could, but that phrase didn’t leave her mind. What had Supergirl said? What did those words mean? Lena sighed, defeated. How could she ever understand a dead language like kryptonian if there barely were information about that planet, ruled by a red sun? Damn it, she thought to herself, this mess is only getting more and more difficult. The incredible thing was that she had never felt so good since the pregnancy began, especially after the superhero left. There weren’t any bother, sickness - though less frequent, still happened - and her stomach didn’t roar for over two hours. That felt like a great advance since that baby seemed to be hungry every forty minutes.

What magic could that be? What effect was that? She sighed again. Lena needed to learn kryptonian immediately and more importantly, could not let Supergirl know.

“Lena?” her favorite voice in the world echoed in the room. Golden hour’s orange light started to show, creating a soft and comfortable environment “hey…”

“Kara!” Lena smiled. She wasn’t expecting a visit from her friend, especially after she remembered she had forgotten to answer her texts “I thought… doesn’t matter” the CEO sighed and walked in for a hug, inhaling all she could of that perfume, letting it invade her lungs.

“I wasn’t sure if I should come and I… er, I wanted… to make a surprise,” Kara said nervously “I hope I’m not disturbing…;

“You never disturb me.” Lena reassured for the hundredth time “to which honor do we owe your visit” Kara smiled at the plural pronoun.

“I wanted to take you somewhere special today and…” she sighed “I came to let you know I’m traveling tomorrow and probably will be out of town for the week” that caught the Luthor off guard “I have to cover a subject in another.... er, city.” Kara lied, in fact, Barry Allen had shown up and asked for help “they didn’t give me a specific date of return…”

“Oh, right… okay,” Lena nodded. Although her heart ached a bit inside, thinking of not seeing Kara for a whole week “I hope it all works out for you there. I thought… nevermind.”

“What?” What did you think?” Kara asked, holding her hand tightly “tell me, please.”

“It’s nonsense” she tried to laugh it off, “I thought we were going to the next class together and I… doesn’t matter, it’s not like it’s… a big deal, anyway I have a lot of things to do.”

“Heavens, I forgot about that!” she hit a palm on her face “I’ll do my best to come back in time and if I can’t, I want you to go and I want you to tell me everything you learned afterward.”

“There’s no need, Kara” Lena reassured, “it’s not that important.”

“It’s important for me” there were the frowning and begging eyes, like Kara always did until Lena had no choice but to agree with her “will you do it for me?”

Lena rolled her eyes, defeated.

“Yes,” she sighed “that’s what friends are for, right?”

“That’s right!” she agreed excited “now get your things, we have to go before the sun sets and… hey! Is that red fruit yogurt.”

“Be my guest to eat them” Lena laughed, looking at the blonde and only finding her more and more charming. The useless lesbian part of her never made it easier.

“Heavens! How wonderful this is!” Kara moaned eating the first cup quickly “it’s my favorite.”

“I thought I was your favorite” she teased, making the other woman frown. Of course, Kara didn't get it.

“But… I can’t eat you,” she answered, lost.

“That depends on the point of view.” Lena winked, smirking, watching the young Danvers face grow red.

Oh, Rao! Now she got it.

 

***

 

After the driver dropped them off at an unknown neighborhood, they walked for a few blocks. Kara wanted her friend to walk more frequently since Lena was experiencing cramps and some exercise could help the blood circulate better. Not that Kara knew that coincidentally, she was annoying the hell out of Alex, asking questions and more questions until she couldn’t remember all the answers her sister told her. She never thought pregnancies were so complicated.

Autumn’s cold breeze ran through the Luthor’s hair, waving them although they were up. Her hand was still on her belly while the other held Kara’s arm. Any person passing by would think they were a couple doing whatever couples do on a nice afternoon, watching time fly and waiting anxiously for their baby to come. The belly was definitely showing on that tight dress.

Lena knew that if she wasn’t very careful her heart would get used to that sensation. Thinking one day they could be a real couple holding hands walking down the street. But it wasn’t like that and it would never be like that. The baby she was expecting wasn’t Kara’s and the CEO didn’t even know if her friend was into women. Which reminded her she never asked about it, they had never talked about that subject.

Shit. Now Lena was curious but didn’t have the guts to ask.

“We’re here!” Kara pulled her back to reality “you’re going to love this place!”

“And where are we, exactly?” Lena questioned. She heard some barks from the inside and things started adding up. Kind of.

“Hey, Bailey” her friend greeted a brown-haired girl that looked about fifteen.

“Kara!” the girl ran to her and went in for a tight hug “It’s been so long since I last saw you.”

“That’s true, I’m sorry” Kara smiled “I brought a special person today.” she turned to Lena, who was watching the scene with hesitation.

“Oh! Your girlfriend?” Bailey jumped with excitement “damn! She’s so pretty! Hi, I’m Bailey” she reached out her hand and both the Luthor and the young Danvers stood reactionless.

Why did everyone insist they were a couple?

 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Lena” she answered politely and thought it funny to see the girl smile and widen her eyes.
“Lena, like… the amazing and powerful Lena Luthor?” Bailey’s eyes shone in admiration for the figure in front of her.

“That one, Bay” Kara answered and looked at her friend.

“Wow! This is so cool!” her voice was loud “and you’re here at my mom’s dog shelter. Ha! No one in school is going to believe me.”

“Where’s your phone?” Lena asked. Bailey and Kara looked at each other not following the thought “don’t you want proof to show your friends at school?” she smiled.

“Oh, yes! Damn!” The girl ran to the balcony and went back at the same speed, carrying the device. Lena stood next to the girl and took a simple picture of them, even though she despised being photographed “oh my God! I’m literally going to die” Kara snorted at the drama “okay, okay… are you here to see the dogs?”

“Of course!” Kara nodded “I want to show Brover to her.”

“Follow me” Bailey led the way, guiding them through a narrow hallway. The strong scent of animals invaded the blond’s nose, making her wonder if that was a good idea after all. What if Lena got sick because of the smell? “This week we had to shelter more than ten puppies that were abandoned, beside the five kittens left at our front door. We’re almost desperate, I don’t know how my parents are able to buy food for them with the donations.” the girl kept on talking.

“And how are the two labradors from last month?” Kara asked. Lena stayed silent, listening attentively.

“One was adopted last Monday and the other one is still here.” she explained, “you have to see the one we rescued in the middle of the avenue yesterday…”

The trio entered a big room where many cubicle cages were placed on the walls. There were cats and dogs of every size and color, all of them with some sort of medicine, band-aid, or white bandage on them. It was like a huge infirmary of a vet hospital. The strong scent didn’t bother Lena but it was still bad. Her heart sank as she realized all animals there were hurt or sick and some didn’t have a chance of recovering there.

“Hey, big boy!” Bailey approached a brown border collie “look who’s here to see you” the dog and a bandage around his paw but still shook his tail and put his tongue out “that’s right! That’s our boy!”

“Brover!” Kara hugged him and patted his head “hey, I missed you too!” the dog licked her face, making the woman giggle “I brought a friend, say hi, Brover!” she turned to Lena who was standing still “c’mon, he doesn’t bite.”

“I’m not… I’m not good with animals, Kara” Lena confessed hesitantly. In fact, she had never interacted with an animal her entire life.

“If he likes you, it’s because you’re good with animals,” Bailey commented while refilling the water for other dogs.

“C’mon, Lena” Again, the damned pout. It wasn’t fair, that cute pout was not fair. “please…”

“Right” she walked slowly trying to avoid that situation somehow. What if he didn’t like her? What if it barked? What if he got angry and hurt her?

God, she was scared.

However, as she got closer to the ‘beast’, it just shook its tail quickly and licked her fingers, making her frown. Kara snorted at the scene and showed her how to pet the soft fur. Lena traced a line from the ears to the tail, watching Brover enjoy the caressing. His tail didn’t stop moving and she wondered if that didn’t tire him. Obviously not. There was something about dogs that she didn’t understand, but she had read once that dogs were able to improve humor, diminish stress, and even make people less prone to heart diseases.

That was what Lena felt like the weight had fallen off her shoulder and now the burden was lighter.

“Who’s this?” Kara asked Bay, who was kneeled next to a golden cocker spaniel “hey, girl…” she whispered caressing its long ears.

“What’s wrong with her?” Lena questioned, kneeling too. The dog looked very down and was probably in pain. There wasn’t the same light in her eyes as Brover had, there wasn’t joy surrounding her “she looks so tired…”

“And she is” Bay confirmed, slowly tracing a pattern on the dog's belly “we don’t know if she’s going to make it… I feel useless…”

“What happened?”

“We found her on the avenue and brought her here immediately” the girl explained “it was raining and we couldn't wait, but the issue is she’s expecting and we don’t have enough money for the ultrasound, the medicine, and everything to make sure the puppies will be okay” she sighed “we don’t even know if they’re alive, because she’s in pain and cries… I wanted to take her home but my mom said we don’t have any more space.”

“I’m so sorry, Bay” Kara hugged the girl in an attempt for consolation.

“What does she need?” Lena finally said something. She couldn’t let that dog die, she would never forgive herself for that.

“Many consults with a vet, ultrasound, medicine, and a warm bed” Bailey frowned “we usually keep the dogs on the kennel here but she can’t be with the other dogs.”

And so the Luthor saw herself on a dead-end street. What was she going to do? How could she help? It had never crossed her mind to invest in animal shelters and adoption centers. Usually, she got requests for donations to orphanages and children’s hospitals. A place like that, that sheltered injured abandoned animals every day, animals in need of attention, deserved all the attention and help. Holding that thought, Lena knew she was about to make a mistake but it was for the greater good.

“I’m taking her” Lena spoke suddenly.

“What?”

“Really?”

“How do I do that?” she ignored the surprised look on Kara’s face and focused “what do I have to sign?”

“Holy shit! You really are a hero!” Bay hugged her tight, surprising Lena “wow, I don’t have words to thank you! I’m going to call my mom!” she got up and ran, leaving Kara and the CEO alone.

“Are you sure you’re going to do that?” Kara questioned, though she was about to explode with love and pride for that woman “you know… it’s a lot… of responsibility...”

“Are you calling me irresponsible?” Lena teased.

“No! I… I, er, I just…” she coughed “I’m… happy for you, but I don’t want more things on your plate.”

“Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing,” she lied. She did even know what she was thinking when that decision was made.

The arrival of the girl’s mother interrupted them and she smiled, shaking her hand.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Mary” her voice was sweet “so, you really intend to adopt this soon-to-be mom?”

“Hi, Lena” she avoided the surname “yes, and I also want to propose a deal” Lena spoke gravely. Kara watched her friend change to CEO mode as she always did when it came to business.

“I’m listening.”

“Bailey commented about how hard it was to afford the shelter, the food, and care for the animals. Therefore I am willing to buy and finance any posterior expense needed for the animals and the structure.” okay, no one saw that coming.

There was silence. Mary was the first one to digest the words, unsure of what she had just heard.

“Buy?” her voice broke.

“It would still be on your name or your husband’s, whichever you decide” Lena explained “but I will be the one responsible for the bills, maintaining the shelter always ready for any animal rescue and care.

“Wow, I… I was certainly not waiting for that.” she sighed “I still have to talk with my husband and decide that with him, may I get in touch with you miss…?”

“Luthor” Lena revealed “Miss Luthor, but you can call me Lena” now it all made sense. That was no common woman.

That was Lena Luthor.

“Right” Mary took a deep breath “we will be in touch and will give you an answer as soon as possible. In the meantime, are you ready to adopt our princess?”

“Of course she is, mom” Bailey rolled her eyes “did you know they’re dating?”

“Bay!” Kara exclaimed, nervous and completely red, avoiding eye contact with Lena “we don’t… we’re not, er… girlfriends.”

“Too much stuttering, Kara” the girl laughed “and you’re not fooling anyone.”

“Okay, kid” Mary stopped it “I already told you to not get your nose on other people’s business” she handed the CEO some papers and a paper “here it is, read and sign the four pages, please.”

“Right” Lena nodded “and what is her name? Bailey didn’t mention it.”

“It’s because she doesn’t have one” the girl answered.

“This will be your first task as a pet mom then,” Kara said, smiling “are you ready to take that step?” blue eyes met green and the world stopped moving.

The answer was no, she was not ready for that step and barely knew what her life was becoming. But all she was able to do was cry and felt another wall inside her break down. That hurt and shook all her structures. Then again, she heard Alex’s voice inside her mind, firm as always. Allow yourself. She had to allow herself to feel. And maybe then, it wouldn’t hurt forever.

Chapter 8: Somebody stepped inside your soul

Notes:

and we are back!
I'm actually proud of how fast I ended this chapter
anyways
enjoy! xx

Chapter Text

It was busy dawn at the DEO, Supergirl and Alex had been called to help Barry on Earth 1 and neither of them knew what it was about. However, J’onn was a bit hesitant and called the superhero for an honest and serious conversation, something that Kara wasn’t expecting. Her older sister had always been someone great at hiding fears and anguishes, leaving them aside at any given moment and prioritizing more important things or whatever she decided was more important than emotions. Alex’s whole life could be put on a single phrase: putting everything she could before herself and forgetting things she couldn’t deal with throughout.

During the last couple of months, Alex had given up on something and Kara couldn’t put a finger on what it was. The young Danvers had never been good at guessing and although that was her sister and her friend, she was unable to say what was going on in her heart. Alex didn’t talk, didn’t vent, and didn’t let any of her friends get close enough to understand what was happening. Well, Kara knew she and Maggie were going through a rough phase because of a specific topic but her sister refused to talk to her about it, Alex just kept repeating it would be fine. That she was going to be fine.

And J’onn was completely sure something was terribly wrong.

At first, he thought he was being paranoid, perhaps. He observed how his best agent was more tired each day, how her hands trembled as she held heavier guns. Everyone at the DEO knew the redhead was intimidating, always serious, and ready to punch anyone who tried to be funny or nosy. Some were scared, obviously, but deep down they all knew she was just as loving as her younger sister. But that is where things had gotten a little different.

Alex was more annoyed, angrier, lacking patience for any kind of instructions or small talk, killing time in the training room to burn off energy she didn’t have. Her eyes were red, surrounded with a black shadow of tiredness and it was easy to notice her struggles to focus. People who knew her and saw her everyday realized right away something was wrong, however, Alex knew how to dodge questions and concerns, even of those who truly cared about her well-being. She was not in the state of mind to answer questions or hearing advice from people that barely knew her. Alex was done, done with people telling her ‘it is going to be okay’.

Because clearly, it was not going to be okay.

“Alex” Supergirl entered the lab and found her sister sitting down chugging down water from her old huge bottle.

“Hey, ready to go?” Alex asked, rotating the chair to face the hero.

“That is what I… er, came to talk to you about” Kara coughed nervously “I wanted… wanted to ask you a favor.”

“Go ahead” she put the bottle aside and Kara observed how tired her sister looked “did something happen?”

“No… actually, I wanted to talk about his trip” she sat down next to her “Barry called the other heroes to help so we’ll be a big number, which is good and means we’re probably coming back earlier. But I… I wanted to ask you to stay here and take care of Lena for me” Alex’s body tensed and she frowned.

“Kara, I’m not staying behind” she was firm.

“Please, Alex, I need someone to stay and to take care of Lena and you’re the only one I trust to do that” Kara begged “I don’t even know when I’m coming back and I don’t want her to be alone while I’m there.”

“Tell me the truth” Alex got up enraged, feeling a wave of unusual anger take control of her body “you…” she laughed sarcastically “you are a shitty liar.”

Supergirl got up too, keeping the perfect posture needed for when the situations were more complicated. Her face visibly changed from calm to serious. Kara was not going to allow Alex to travel like that, fighting villains that could kill her with that state of mind.

“Alex you are not fine and you have been hiding that from me for weeks” Supergirl spoke “I am worried and so is J’onn, and you acting like you don’t care! I can’t allow you to do that to yourself and put yourself in danger that you might not get out alive.”

“I don’t need your permission, Supegirl” Alex was sarcastic “I am a grown woman that can make its own decisions.”

“And even so you’re behaving like a stubborn child” she raised her voice, “you think it’s fine facing whatever we’re going to face like that? Rao! Alex, what is going on?” Kara tried steeping closer but her sister immediately stepped away, reaching for the bottle on the table with hatred in her eyes.

“If I can’t come along, fine” she grabbed her things and threw them in a bag “but don’t you dare interrogate me, I don’t need advice and I don’t need help to sort out my personal problems.”

“Alex…” Kara immediately regretted that conversation. It seemed as if the world was going to fall down and she wasn’t capable of holding them all at once. It was the right thing to do, she was not going to let her sister get hurt.

“Don’t worry” Alex turned around “Lena will be fine and I’ll be here to help her.”

“I’m sorry about this, I can’t…”

“Safe travel” she interrupted Kara and walked away, leaving the superhero alone with her thoughts.

J’onn, who was hearing everything outside the room, came in and smiled tenderly to Supergirl, in an attempt to console her. Alex could be tough and cold and even distant sometimes, but her heart was big and she was always one to love recklessly and limitlessly, even if that destroyed her. Her fixation with self-sacrifice for those she loved was always there, ever since they were kids. Kara perfectly remembered every time her sister got in dangerous fights because of her, to defend her even knowing the young sister was strong enough to handle things by herself.

“You did the right thing, Kara” he whispered.

“I know, but I’m still worried” she sighed “let’s find Barry and tell him we’re good to go.”

“Right, have a safe trip, and don’t worry too much” J’onn smiled “Lena will be safe.”

“Thank you.”

 

***

 

Lena canceled all her meetings that cold and rainy morning to take her new roommate to the vet and had plenty of time to experience what it was like to take care of someone completely dependable on her. The dog was in pain while walking, had trouble standing up, and only looked comfortable when in one specific position. The Luthor almost bought the entire pet shop, not sure of what she should take home. Dog food, blankets, food pots, leashes, and even hygiene and bath products were chosen blindly. Lena desperately wished Kara was there with her, but three days had gone by and her friend didn’t even answer her texts.

Not that it bothered Lena too much, she knew Kara was on a work trip and it wouldn’t be very responsible to be on the phone, but something inside her kept saying something was very wrong and she had no idea what it could be. So Lena took the Luthor way and decided to ignore her heart and made her way to the vet, next to her, the small caramel puppy stared at her with curious and frightened eyes. Two days had gone by and Lena was not exactly sure how to deal with her. She didn’t know how to take care of the animal or what to do when she cried, but one thing she knew for sure: not being alone in her apartment was something Lena could get used to.

The dog still didn’t have a name and Lena spent hours staring at the computer screen learning about its race, the problems it could have during pregnancies, how to shower it and what it should or shouldn’t eat. Maybe she was overthinking it, but how could judge her? Lena didn’t want to fail her new partner and let her suffer from diseases or problems that could come up.

The driver parked in front of a building with baby blue walls where a huge board indicated every service available for clients, Jess was the one who chose the place. The last thing the secretary expected was to get a call from her boss Saturday morning asking her to find the best veterinary offices in the city and schedule a consultation, but it happened. However, Jess was thrilled to find out that the CEO had company now and knew that a dog would do her good, especially during pregnancy.

“Looks like we have two puppies in the way,” the doctor said smiling, while running the small machine on the dog’s newly shaved belly “and they look very healthy, she will probably go into labor in a few weeks.”

“Right” Lena sighed, relieved, petting the furry eyes trying to calm the dog down. When in fact, she was the one who needed calming down “and what should I do when that happens? She feels pain when she walks and can’t stand in the same position for too long.”

“I’m going to request an X-Ray to confirm my suspicions but I am almost sure she might have a broken bone” the doctor put the machine down and let Lena put the pet on her lap, “you told me she was rescued from the streets, right?”

“Yes, I adopted her from a dog shelter.”

“Okay, I’m going to give you some pills and ask for a leg and pelvis X-Ray, for now, she needs a lot of rest and love” she smiled and caressed the soft fur “what is her name?”

“I haven’t…” Lena sighed. It was past the time to choose a name for her companion and she already had one in mind “Agnes” she answered, smiling.

‘Luthors don’t have friends, they have minions’

“Alright, little Agnes, we’re going to keep an eye on you,” Lena noticed the way she shook her tail and was glad to see the dog more agitated “I’m also going to suggest you some dog food brands and your baby will be better in no time. About the labor, you can let be natural, there is no issue regarding that or, if you prefer, you can bring her in for a c-section.”

“Great” Lena smiled and took all the papers and recipes the doctor handled. After leaving the office, she bought a special leash. Red with a bone-shaped pin with her address, phone, and her new friend’s name.

Agnes.

By the sidewalk, Lena reached for her phone and took a quick photo of her with the caramel fur ball, who was so excited that licked the Luthor’s face. Lena was not expecting that and was moved by the affection, caressing the dog she carried her all the way to the car, feeling a funny warmth in her chest. The dog laid her head on Lena’s lap all the way back home, exhaling hot air directly to her prominent belly and quickly falling asleep. Lena felt as if she was starting a small family and the thought took her breath away. That was her family, at least for now.

L: I hope everything is okay.

L: Say hi to Agnes and Seedy!

L: ‘Lena sent a photo’

Before Lena could lock the screen and go back to looking out the window, the phone vibrated and a smile was formed intuitively.

K: Hi Agnes!

K: I miss you guys…

K: I’ll be back soon <3

The world stopped for a few moments. Kara had finally said something.

L: We miss you too <3

 

***

 

“What do you want?” Lena questioned Agnes for the third time, she stayed in the same position, sat down in front of the woman “are you hungry?” the dog whimpered softly and placed a paw on her knee “do you want to get on the sofa?” once again the whimper was heard “alright, come on up.”

The CEO tried to stay away from the company that afternoon, canceling her schedule and choosing to keep a close eye on her new partner, giving her the medicine at the exact required time and observing everything in detail, scared the pet would hurt. Lucky for Lena, the pills were working fast and Agnes was feeling less and less pain, which made her relieved. The doctor showed Lena the X-Ray results and came to the conclusion a small bone on her pelvis was fractured, nothing too serious, but it was the cause of all that suffering. According to the vet, that was common during pregnancy because there was a lower level of calcium on the mother’s body, once all nutrients ended up going to the puppies. And in that scenario, Agnes was holding two puppies.

The small dog was beginning to get used to the apartment, but Agnes, much like Kara, seemed to have that longing, begging look when she wanted something. The first night they were together, the puppy wept until Lena carried her over to the mattress and soon enough felt a furry body lay next to her, little head on her belly. An action that was becoming quite common. Every time that Lena was home, Agnes insisted on being as close as possible and always - always - touched her icy nose on her belly, giving the woman a unique sense of protection.

“I have to work, Agnes” Lena complained to the pet, who stared at her with those big brown loving eyes “don’t look at me like that, I already gave you food and took you out for a walk” the dog suspired and licked her exposed belly. Lena put the notebook aside and caressed Agnes’ ears “yes, I have a baby too” she lifted the shirt higher, one that gave to her a week before, letting the dog lick her skin again “see? I’m going to be a mommy just like you, well… not exactly like you” Lena sighed “I’m just keeping the baby safe until I give it to someone else, someone who will know how to take care of it” she explained, now caressing her belly and trying not to overthink her words. That one part of her body was always warm. “ did you take it well when you found out you were pregnant?” Agnes just kept staring at her and Lena smiled back to the pet “Seedy, this is our new friend” she looked down and placed both her hands on her stomach, where Agnes licked again “see? She likes you, just as I like you” Lena confessed, “like you more than I should…”

Before she could keep going with the monologue, her phone rang interrupting the moment. Agnes raised an ear, paying attention to the strange noise. Lena took the device and frowned, hesitating to answer it. It was an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Lena?” a cheerful voice answered back “this is Julie, from the pregnancy lessons!” the CEO arched an eyebrow and looked at Agnes, waiting for an explanation on the situation. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything, I got your number from teacher Zara.”

“Oh, no… you’re not interrupting anything” she laughed dryly “do you need anything?”

“Your wife told me she would be away this week and well, I wanted to know if I could pick you today” her body immediately tensed. Wife? What wife? “Lena?”

Oh, she meant her best friend! Shit. How could she deny it?

“I don’t… don’t know” Lena sighed, cornered “I’m not ready and I don’t want to be a bother.

“Don’t worry about it!” there were children noises in the background “just text me your address and we’ll be there in thirty minutes, I just need to feed Ezra and take my husband off the couch.”
“Oh… okay” she answered, uncertain. What was happening to her life?

“Put on comfortable clothes, Miss Power” Julie teased “see you later.”

“See you…”

As she hung up, Agnes was still on her lap with that calming face and Lena took a deep breath. Since when did she have friends like that? No, Julie and Ramona were not her friends. Were they? And what did Kara have to do with that? When did her best friend talk to Julie during the lesson? Okay. Everything was very, very confusing and Lena didn’t want to find an answer to all those questions now. She had half an hour to get changed, finish the email she began to write, and leave things arranged to make sure Agnes would be fine without her. Damn it, why did she always have to put herself in uncomfortable situations. Why couldn’t she ever say no?

Leaving her thoughts and fears aside, the Luthor ran to the bathroom and put on the first thing she found, happy to be able to wear leggings that didn’t hurt. She put on her sneakers and a green t-shirt and put her hair up on a perfect ponytail. As she looked in the mirror, Lena noticed how the bulge on her belly was starting to show through all her clothes. Now, this mess was becoming more and more real, more palpable and Lena still didn’t know how to feel about it. Not exactly.

Because deep down in her heart, she enjoyed looking at the mirror and seeing Seedy there, seeing she was no longer alone. She loved getting curious stares from loving women and strange couples, who focused on her belly and smiled timidly like Lena had won the greatest gift in the world. And Lena knew that she was sure of it. Seedy was most definitely her greatest gift, even if she couldn’t accept it.

 

***

 

“Well everyone, that is it for today, I hope you all enjoyed it” Zara finished another class and all the couples got up “don’t forget we have snacks by the garden, I’ve prepared special treats for our mommies!” She spoke lively.

“Oh, goddamn it” Ramona complained, massaging her thighs “dear, take my bag, please” she pointed to the bag and he promptly carried it.

“Are you in pain?” Lena asked, concerned, while Julie took a sleepy Ezra out of the stroller.

“Not exactly” she sighed “it’s the kicking”

“They’re… they’re moving?” Lena frowned “Christ, that must be… bizarre.”
“I’m not going to lie, at first it felt like there was a giant worm inside of me trying to get out” Ramona confessed and Julia laughed out loud at the description “but now I count the time for the next kick,” she noticed the curiosity on the Luthor’s face “c’mon, give me your hand.”

“No thanks.” she backed out.

“Stop being afraid” Julie stood next to her and Lena studied the boy’s wrinkled face over his mom’s shoulder. Ezra had just completed one year of life. “you’ll miss it when it’s over.”

“Feel it right here” Ramona took Lena’s wrist and placed her hand on the lower part of her womb “it’s starting to get crowded in there, but…” suddenly, Lena’s eyes widened and she stared at the colleague “did you feel it? And…again!?

“Oh, God…” Lena got closer and slowly traced the skin she was touching. She was fascinated and entirely charmed by the feeling “this is... fuck!” she blinked continuously, feeling the urge to cry “fucking hell…”

“Don’t worry, no one here is going to judge you” Julie laughed and stroked and shoulder

“Except miss perfect over there” Ramona whispered while they walked toward the garden “I heard she’s one of yours” she poked Lena.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lena frowned and served herself with some sweets.

“Lesbian, she means she’s a lesbian” Julie answered letting Lena lost in her thoughts. So Emily was gay? That was interesting and explained a lot “hold him for me, real quick” Julie held the boy to the CEO who got away quickly and terrified.

“No, no, no” Lena was more than nervous “no, I’ve never held a baby in my life, no.”

“C’mon, it’s quick and you’re going to have to hold one for the rest of your life” Julie shot back and passed Ezra to her.

Lena froze and her whole body tensed with despair. She held the little boy and if he was a heavy strange box, keeping him distant from herself, fat cute little legs in the air. Her eyes still stared at the pink cheeks, seeing him stared back at her, confused. Suddenly, Ezra put his little hands up and held her cheeks, smiling cheerfully, and showing his growing teeth. He petted her face, tracing her nose, and then those big brown eyes met her green ones.

And her heart melted instantly.

Awkwardly, Lena placed the boy's legs as if he was straddling her hips and stopped to admire every little detail on that baby. She had never interacted with a child before, much less a baby, and all those experiences she had been having were breaking her emotional walls down, they were shattering little by little inside her chest and causing a huge mess. Soon Lena began to wonder what Seedy would look like if she would have blond perfect hair like Supergirl or darker shades like hers if she would make her smile or the hero’s blue eyes, or even if she would ever ask Lens to kiss a bruise better. It felt like a dream, a beautiful, extraordinary dream.

“Did you like that?” Lena asked, seeing Ezra play with her simple necklace.

“Yeh yeh,” he asked.

“I’m sorry, love” she smiled tenderly “I’m afraid it’s dangerous for you.”

“Boo-boo?”

“That’s right” she kissed his fat cheeks “boo-boo.”

“See? It’s not that scary” Ramona commented, watching the scene with a smile “he might not be one of your robots but at least he’s cute, right? Isn’t that right? Hm?” she tickled the baby’s belly, making him laugh.

“You look pretty with one of those with you” Julia complimented, studying the scene with a smile “but I think you’re more of a girl’s mom kind of person.”

“He is so soft and smells so good” Lena whispered, still charmed by the boy “what do you mean girl’s mom?”

“I don’t know” Julie shrugged “changing the subject, you’re almost on the fourth month, soon you’ll know the sex!

“Yeah, I have a consultation next week” she explained, still holding the boy, who was still sleepy from his nap “I had to postpone it because Kara doesn’t like to miss ultrasounds” Lena smiled as she said her friend’s name.

God, she missed her so much it made her heartache. She couldn’t wait to see her again and feel the heat of her arms around her.

“Look how in love she is” Ramona teased and laughed as she saw the red blush cripple in the CEO’s face “if it’s a girl, do you already have a name?”

“Please, no double names” Julie gave her opinion “can you imagine the pain of teaching them to write their names?”

“But have you searched for names, yet? I’m sure you and your wife have at least discussed it” Ramona sighed “I and my husband have decided he gets to pick one and I pick the other one, so that way it’s fair.”

“I do, actually” she confessed for the first time. Lena never thought that moment would come when she would admit that yes, she had been thinking about names, about room decorations for babies, and even about changing her office to another room so Seedy’s room could be closer to hers.

Damn it, Lena complained internally, why did she have to be so weak? Why did she have to give in to that warm, comfortable feeling in her chest?

“And what is it?” they both asked, curious.

“Well,” Lena laughed uncomfortably “some years ago I looked my birth mother up but didn’t find much. I just know that her name was Elizabeth and so, if it is a girl, I’m going to name her Lizzie” she sighed, trying to hold back tears “in… in her memory.”

“That is wonderful, Lena” Julie stroked her shoulder again and smiled tenderly, understanding it was a painful subject for her. In reality, no one knew she was adopted except her family, and Kara, of course.

Who, while this endless mess kept going, was her wife apparently.

“I heard everyone in your family has a name that starts with an L” Ramona commented, “are you going to follow this tradition?”

“I still… what is he doing?” Lena asked, watching Ezra his position in her lap, laying down and touching his small face to her breasts.

“Ezra is hungry” Julie took him off her lap and gave him the breast “he smelt your milk” okay, that was new and bizarre.

She had milk?

“I think you need a change of clothes” Ramona pointed to Lena’s shirt, now stained around her nipples. Lena felt her face burn with shame and fear. That had never happened before. She tried to cover it with her hands and frowned, those wet balls over her breasts were completely visible for everyone “hey, don’t be like that. It’s completely normal and it will only become more frequent.”

“What do you say we go shopping, huh?” Julie asked, excited, making little Ezra grumble “I need new clothes and accessories for the new room, besides I’m expecting my first girl and I do want to be those doting moms.”

“I’m in, I’m running low on my diaper storage” both women turned to Lena, who had her arms crossed in front of the shirt feeling terribly uncomfortable “and you, have you started preparing for the arrival of...what was the name again?”

“Seedy” Julie answered for her “which is an… uncommon nickname.”

“Kara chose it” Lena murmured, “and I haven’t… er, bought...anything.”
“Oh, Christ, Lena!” Julie took Ezra off her breast and placed him over her shoulder, waiting for him to hiccup and go back to his nap “we have an emergency then!”

“No, I…”

“Don’t worry, Lena” Ramona intertwined their arms “we got you.”

Unable to deny or at least escape that situation, the CEO found herself being carried by the two women towards one of the biggest stores for babies and pregnancies. After all, how could she explain she wasn’t keeping the child? And that she wasn’t married to her best friend? And she had no clue what she was doing? Well, at the moment there weren't any solutions, therefore she had no choice. Julie left Ezra with his father and Ramona told her husband she would be home by dinner. Something Lena was extremely jealous of, seeing she had no one to tell or go back home to.

Suddenly, Lena smiled. Yes, there was someone for her to go back home to. Someone with four legs, furry ears, caramel fur, and contagious joy. She might not be a person, but she was family. Her little family; and for now that was enough.

She called the driver, listening to her two new ‘friends’ gossip excitedly, praising Lena for the achievements they read about in a CatCo article. Of course, they complimented Kara too, responsible for all those well-written and structured articles. They both agreed they made the perfect couple and certainly Kara loved her wife a lot, for always writing the best and greatest words about the CEO and L-Corp. And what could Lena say? It was true. Kara really earned the reporter title and was always glad to know she had helped Lena, even if indirectly, catalyzing her decision to stay and fight for her career. However, Kara wasn’t her wife, much less her girlfriend.

On the way to the store, while the two women talked, Lena stared out the window and caressed her belly with a shy smile. She didn’t intend to buy anything and didn’t want to create an illusion of building a room for a child that wasn’t going to be hers. Still, Lena couldn’t wait to feel the first kicks or to find out the baby’s gender. Would it be a girl? Could she be named Lizzie or would it be little Liam? God, her heart raced when she thought those moments would happen soon. And it made her blue because she wasn’t going to a mom. Luthors didn’t have that capacity and therefore that sacrifice was necessary.

Her phone vibrated, pulling Lena out of the thought whirlwind.

A: Hey, are you busy tomorrow morning?

L: Good afternoon, Alex.

L: At what time?

A: Oh yeah, I forgot you own a multimillionaire empire and I have to schedule an hour earlier.
L: Well, my name is in that building so it’s hard to miss.

L: I thought you could read.

A: I just prefer to read interesting things that give some kind of useful knowledge.

A: Nothing personal.

L: What do you wish from me, agent Danvers? You know I’m not used to being the other woman.

A: Oh, that’s a shame.

A: Because I have a very platonic crush for powerful women with dark hair and green eyes.

L: Sorry, you won't be reciprocated this time.

L: You’re not my type.

A: Badass and pretty redheads?

L: No.

L: Nosy redheads with a terrible sense of humor.

A: You almost offended me.

A: I know what your type is.

L: Oh, now I’m curious, agent Danvers.

A: Blond women with blue eyes that wear glasses and work as a reporter for CatCo.

Okay. Lena did not see that coming and didn’t know what to answer. She could almost hear Alex’s laughter from across the city.

A: I know you have a thing for the Danvers, Luthor.

A: Meet me at 7 am at Noonan’s.

 

***

 

That megastore looked like the perfect place for Lena to go bankrupt in a matter of seconds and what comforted her was the knowledge she could buy three - or more - places like that. Ramona and Julie had a clear goal, unlike the CEO, who although was always very focused and calculated every step, now seemed lost. The hallways went through clothing and mobilia items, distributed in two huge floors. Everything was so colorful, bright, and completely inviting. It was like a mother’s paradise, she thought.

And what the hell was she doing there if she wasn’t even going to a mom?

Ramona found a shopping cart for them to share and Julie held the Luthor’s arm, smiling childishly and showing her a piece of paper. Lena arched a brow and was apprehensive, she knew that was probably something she wouldn’t like.

“I took the liberty of making a small list for you in the car” she spoke excitedly “since I already had a baby, I’m more used to this.”

“Julie is going to show you how not to get lost in this place, it’s important” Ramona winked and Lena nodded quietly, still feeling lost and trying to process all that information.

“Rule number one: don’t buy too many clothes and shoes, newborns don’t need a lot” she explained “they also grow really fast so it's better to buy little by little. Rule number two: you're going to need so many, so many diapers, and wet wipes and cream for burns. This is what you have to focus on” the trio walked through the diaper aisle and stopped before a mountain of packages.

“There are three good diaper brands,” Ramona said and took the packages in her hand “I particularly like this one” she showed the green and white package “I’ve heard good things about this one, but this one is also a strong contestant” she raised the red package.

“I think…I’ll take the first one?” Lena spoke uncertainly. her heart was racing a marathon and her hands were covered in a cold sweat. What had her life become?

“Good choice, girl!” Julie celebrated and put another ten packages on the cart, separating the CEO’s place on it “creams for burns are all pretty much the same, you can always go for the cheapest and for wet wipes I suggest you buy the odorless and specifically for newborns.”

“Also the baby might develop an allergy so you should take some for testing” Ramona finished the sentence. The cart only got fuller and fuller as they walked the store.

“And if my baby has an allergy? What should I do?” Lena asked curiously, picking some soaps, shampoos, and a body lotion. She didn’t even know what it was for but she was not going to complain. Everything there smelled so good.

“You’ll have to clean him with a tissue diaper or you can choose cotton” Julie answered and put five packaged of cotton in the cart.
“Now, to the kitchen aisle” Ramone guided them to the left side “do you intend to breastfeed Seedy?”

“Of course!” Lena answered faster than she should have and frowned. What the hell,
Lena? She thought to herself, you’re not even keeping this baby!

“Don’t give up on the first time, okay?” Julie studied a few baby bottles and pacifiers “In doubt, always have one of these at home. I’ll be true, breastfeeding on the first days might bother you and it might hurt as well, but don’t give up.”

“Do you have any favorite colors? Not that it matters, I think this blue is boy and girl is pink is bullshit, they don’t even know the colors” Ramona grumbled, “what is your wife’s favorite color?”

Wife. She took a deep breath. Kara was still her wife.

Fuck.

“Blue and red” Lena sighed “actually, any color looks perfect on her,” she confessed, making the others laugh.

“Well, we have red and white” she pointed to the shelf. Lena analyzed each one at a time and picked a baby blue with small white balls, all the pacifiers she chose were also blue.

Blue like Kara’s eyes, she thought.

“Clothing section” Julie pointed to the next hallway and on the way there the three of them grabbed more things, even if unnecessary. At least they were cute

The clothing section was insane, definitely insane. Now Lena understood what Julie meant with ‘don’t get too many clothes’ because she wanted to take the whole hallway home and never get rid of anything. On that thought, Lena wondered if mothers had that habit of keeping their children’s clothes even if they were all grown up. Well, if they didn’t, it didn’t matter. She could never throw those cute flowery dresses or blue rompers with a sailor’s drawing away. And just like that, they had to get another shopping cart, so the three of them could carry home almost a whole brand new wardrobe.

Even with her brain telling her to not get too excited, not to put too much effort, Lena’s heart felt warm in her chest, approving that unique moment of her life. When else would she have the courage to buy all those things? When would she imagine she would have two unexpected friends to guide her through this moment and help her process of acceptance? Fine, they didn’t know about the real condition that the child was imposed on, but now it didn’t seem to matter so much. Lena was plain conscious of what was happening there, though she didn’t know what she was doing. Although she wouldn’t say it out loud, although she was scared to think about her feelings, she loved that baby.

Lena loved that baby unconditionally.

The three of them drifted apart through lines of hangers, each one looking for what pleased them the most. Lena didn’t know her baby’s gender but that wasn’t important. One by one, she selected a color palette that matched each other, all in soft, tasteful tones that reminded her of herself and of Kara. As she walked back to the shopping cart, Lena felt a bump on her legs and heard a thud. She looked down and found a little girl with blond hair put back in two braids.

“Hello” Lena quickly got down and helped her get up, getting down on one knee to check for bruises “are you okay? are you hurt?”

“No” the girl smiled, fixing the yellow dress she was wearing “oh…you have a baby inside you?” Lena laughed with the girl's bluntness.

“Yes, I do” she answered tenderly “what is your name?”

“Anna” her brown curious eyes still stared at the Luthors stomach “and I am five” she put one hand up “that’s all the fingers here!”

“That’s right, Anna” Lena congratulated “you’re a smart girl.”

“My mom also has a baby inside her belly, you know” she commented “can I touch it?” she pointed to Lena.

“Yeah, put your hands here” Lena held the girl’s hands between hers and placed them on her belly “it’s still little so you can’t feel it yet.”

“It’s warm” Anna giggled “did you swallow it? How did it end up there? Isn’t it the stork that brings babies?” she shot Lena with questions that the poor woman didn’t know how to answer.

How do you explain these things to kids? She thought. Actually, she didn’t want to know. If she ever had to explain to Seedy how she was made, Lena would rather make a completely different story up. Because, biologically, two women can’t impregnate each other - unfortunately - and she could never make sense of what Rhea had done that started this whole mess.

“Anna! Where are you, dear?” Lena heard a voice call from across the hallway.

“Oops! That’s my mom” Anna frowned “bye, miss!” she gave her a noisy peck on the cheek and ran off, leaving Lena alone, knelt on the ground, and with a warm feeling on her face. She had never gained affection so… easily.

“How do you do that?” Ramona asked, approaching her with Julie.

“Do what?” Lena asked back, getting up.

“Make kids fall in love with you” Julie explained “you’re going to be a wonderful mother, Lena. I’m sure of it.”

And once again, the CEO felt the urge to cry, because she had never thought someone would tell her those words with so much certainty.

She was going to be a wonderful mother.

 

***

 

Noonan’s was a well-known cafeteria for Lena, after all, Kara loved their waffles. So, she usually would run there, buy an honorable breakfast like the young Danvers deserved and send someone to deliver at her home since her best friend usually woke up a few hours after Lena would arrive at L-Corp. And Kara didn’t get up that late, Lena was the one that woke up too early, preferring to arrive at the company before everyone, so she could organize her paperwork and revisit that week’s schedule before her day began.

As she walked in the place, Lena soon saw a tall redhead on the other side, sitting on a table by the window. Her body would always get chills and trepidation for being there accompanied by the older Danvers. Not that she was afraid, no. What she felt was different. Alex was intimidating, yes, but not enough to make the Luthor scared and she was too sarcastic, however, Lena could also act like that. At the end of the day, they came to the realization, little by little, that they were very similar, more than it pleased them. But, to what point could they trust each other. Could Lena consider them friends?

God, she had so many questions, so many doubts, and still, she agreed to come and have breakfast with the agent.

Lena sat in front of her, putting her purse beside her, and noticed how Alex was a mess, exhausted. Her eyes had a weird red color and circling it, dark and deep tones were visible. Her hair was messy and her shirt was rumpled. Lena had never seen someone look so down as if a hurricane had gone through them. Apparently, someone had bigger issues than her.

“I thought you weren’t coming anymore” Alex grumbled.

“I’m a woman of my words, Danvers” Lena answered fast, studying the huge water bottle the other woman was carrying “so, what do I own this unexpected invitation?”

“I just wanted to check on you” she shrugged because that was the truth.

“Oh, so you do have a heart!” Lena teased and they both laughed “I’m fine, in fact, you’re the one who looks like you had some rough days.”

“You can say that” she drank from the bottle continuously “Kara asked me to tell you she’ll be back by the weekend and is excited to know Seedy’s gender.”

“Of course” Lena rolled her eyes “I’m going to lose my best friend for a baby.”

“Jealous much?”

“Luthors don’t feel jealousy.”

“Kara is seeing this new guy from CatCo,” Alex said and Lena choked on the coffee she was having.

“Wh-what?” she blinked five times, trying to process the information. To then realize, it was a lie and Alex was laughing out loud “you’re a monster.”

“Just trying to prove a fact, Luthor” Alex winked, teasingly “I’m a scientist, just like you.”

“And to what thesis did your hypothesis come to, agent Danvers?” Lena smirked and crossed her arms.

“That Luthors do feel jealousy.” Lena rolled her eyes and saw Alex drink another big gulp of water. Something was odd about the smell coming from that bottle, it was stronger and more intense.

“Okay,” Lena smiled, “my turn to prove a point.”

“Go on.”

“Your eyes are red and you’re more tired” she pointed to Alex’s face, who tensed her jaw “your hands shake when you raise this bottle and I bet my job at L-Corp that this is not water.”

Alex didn’t know what to answer. Her breath was out of pace and she was ready to give a rude answer as she did to many of her worried friends.

“You can tell me whatever excuse or ironic answer you want to, you don’t scare me” Lena continued “I’m only leaving here when you tell me what is going on.”

“Maggie and I broke up.”

Chapter 9: When it all falls down

Notes:

it's a long one people

Chapter Text

Breakups happen every day, every hour. People come and go, they say goodbye, get hurt or simply realize it is better to part different ways. Sometimes there is misunderstanding, discussions, fights, and some other times, you just know it is time to leave. When there are still feelings, your heart prays daily that in the future, maybe, you might meet that person again, more mature, more patient. To break up is never an easy decision, however, fucked the relationship is, it’s never the less painful way out.

Day to day, the couple learns how to love each other, respect each other, and cherish one another. Well, at least the ones in healthy relationships. You get used to waking up and getting a good morning text or turning around in bed to find that resting face that you love. Then there is breakfast together, the walks in the park, the morning kisses, the ‘I miss you’ even though it’s only been a few hours since you saw them and the I love you’s that come in the shape of ‘take care’, ‘did you eat?’ or ‘call me when you get home’.

Breakups are never easy. They never will be.

The relationship might be abusive, might be whatever drug you choose to call it, but when it ends it will still hurt and leave you empty. It may be from loving that person too much, from knowing that, before anything, you were friends and promised each other not to harm their friendship in the first place. And then it all ends. Lena knew too much about goodbyes, about losing people she loved, about being left behind, about loving and not being loved back, about giving herself so much it hurts, she knew the pain of being alone. Completely alone.

Jack had been that person for Lena, she thought they were going to be together forever, maybe get married someday - not that Lena was a firm believer of traditional ceremonies and commitments but it crossed her mind once in a while - and they were going to do science together like they always did. But it didn’t and Sphere made her choose. An unfair, complex choice. Jack had been terribly selfish and he had plain consciousness that a Luthor would never give up her hope and goals for a man. As much as she liked him and wanted him as a boyfriend, Lena was taught since she was a little girl to be focused and not mix work and emotions, her company needed her. And for that, Lena left.

But, however painful and exhaustive the healing process was, Lena survived. There wasn’t anyone there to console her, to give her advice, and to tell her it was going to be okay. Although Lena knew that, even if there was someone for her, she would just push them away, thinking she was Luthor and Luthors couldn’t afford to be weak around other people. No, she would never be weak around anyone. But, once again, Lena was surprised by fate. When she met Kara, all her heart felt as if it was exposed - because it wanted to be - so that Kara could know its entirety. And she ended up telling her about Jack. And, even though Lena thought there might have been hope for them again, she chose to leave him to save the city’s hero.

Lena couldn’t let Supergirl die, would be social suicide. The judgment would drown her. Another Luthor that killed a Super, even though she hadn’t done anything. Besides, her conscience would never let her live in peace knowing Lena could have done something, so she made a choice.

Choices also aren’t easy.

Well, what was she going to do now? The CEO had never consoled someone, she wasn’t good with words, especially ones filled with emotions. Alex was there, in front of her, red tired eyes, shaking hands, and a water bottle full of booze. How could she tell the agent she was drowning in something that wasn’t worth dying for? That, though she loved the detective, it wasn’t worth losing yourself for someone that wasn’t going to look for you. Lena took a deep breath. That wasn’t any woman, it was her best friends’ sister. She had to take action because it was most likely that Kara was unaware of Alex’s state. If there was something that Lena knew about Alex was that she was great at lying and hiding her real emotions, just like herself.

“One moment,” Lena said and took her phone, typing quickly “Jess, transfer the nine o’clock meeting to after lunch. Okay, thank you.”

“What are you doing?” Alex frowned, seeing the other woman take money from her wallet and leaving it on the table “what do you think you’re doing?”

“Preventing you from hurting yourself even more,” Lena said sharply, getting up with her purse in hand “c’mon, tell me where you live.”

“I’m not going with you” Alex retorted “I don’t need a babysitter, much less your pity.” Lena rolled her eyes. Why were Danvers people so complicated?

“I’m not repeating it, and I’ll advise you to not argue with me” she crossed her arms “now get up, get your things and tell me where you live.”

“How old do you think I am? As far as I know, you’re not my mom, you don’t even want to be one” the redhead knew that was low and she was going to regret that sentence later but she was so tired of being treated as a child.

“No, I’m not you mother because if I was, I would have acted like one already” her voice was strong “so behave like the adult I know you are and shut the fuck up!” Lena sighed “and give me this!” she took the bottle from her hands.

They walked out of the cafeteria, receiving some weird stares from other customers, and headed to Alex’s car, parked on the other side of the street. The Luthor entered the driver’s seat and searched for the GPS, knowing it would have the directions for the redhead’s house. Alex got in on the other side, still, silent concentrating on deep breaths and trying not to cry, she was not going to fall apart there, next to the most unlike friend she had ever had. They let the silence take them, letting the traffic noises flood the ambient. Lena thought of what she was going to do, what she was going to say because she was sure every minute that passed the agent only got more frightened and aloof.

The building was simple, with a flowery decorated hallway in shades of orange and red, giving it a warm, homey feeling. Alex guided them to the elevator, still choosing silence they reached the fifth floor. Her inner self was screaming for help, but she was afraid and knew it wasn’t right. To what point would she hurt herself? To what point was she going to let this lonely feeling of abandonment eat her alive? Maggie chose to leave without even putting up a fight to stay or try to change the situation they had found themselves in. Alex never thought her engagement would go down that way, her heart was dilacerated and breathing had become a hard task. The same way living had become automatic.

“Christ, what a mess…” Lena murmured walking into the living room, immediately noticing the glass bottles on the table and around the floor.

“I wasn’t expecting visits” Alex answered sarcastically.

“The health surveillance would love to show up here,” Lena said back, leaving her purse on the kitchen’s balcony, observing the sink full of dishes “right. You go take a shower and only come back when you’re at least presentable. Wash your hair, brush your teeth, don’t make me drag you to the bathroom.”

“Why are you doing this?” Alex crossed her arms, regaining the intimidating posture “you want extra points with my sister? You want to prove to her you’re taking care of me?”

“I don’t need to prove anything as far as I remember, Kara believed in me when everyone else said I was just another Luthor, including you” she smiled cynically “so can you just accept that we’re friends? It will hurt less.”

“You’re unbearable" Alex sighed “I don’t know how Kara puts up with you.”

“Thank you, you’re a wonderful company too” Lena rolled her eyes “uncross those arms and go take a shower, you look disgusting.”

“If you break anything, I’ll break your face” she pointed, trying to sound aggressive

“I’d like to see you try.” Lena smiled back.

Alex disappeared through the hallway and soon Lena heard the familiar sound of water falling. She stepped off her high heels, leaving them by the door, Lena rolled her sleeves and inhaled deeply. That apartment was a mess, she never thought someone so methodical and organized as Alex would let this come to this point. Lena didn’t judge her for it, she knew how devastating an emotional breakdown could be. While the redhead cleaned herself, the CEO took all the bottles scattered across the room and threw them out. She fixed the sofas, cleaned the dust out of the pillows, and did her best to tide that living room. Going back to the kitchen, she began to wash the horrendous pile of dirty dishes and threw away every rotten food from the fridge.

 

“See how taking care of grown-ups is hard as well?” Lena dried her hands, talking to her belly “one thing you’re going to learn, Seedy, is that you always have to help your friends, even if you feel like hitting them sometimes” she laughed to herself and her stomach roared, making Lena suspire “are we hungry again?” she searched the fridge, wondering what would be easy and fast to prepare, sure that Alex was starving too “promise me something” she whispered, looking at her belly, starting to show underneath her skirt “anytime you’re feeling down or afraid, ask for help, okay? It’s not a bad thing to ask for help and you don’t need to be alone” Lena smiled “you’re not alone” she traced her fingers on the tissue and felt an amazing heat radiate through her body “mommy is here…”

“Lena?”

“Fuck, Alex!” Lena trembled putting her hand over her chest

“Did I ruin your Mama Bear moment?” she smirked “better?” she turned around to show the clean clothes and wet hair.

“Much better, now you look more like the annoying redhead that I know” Lena smiled back “sit down, I’m going to make us something to eat.”

“Are you trying to conquer me through my stomach?” she frowned “I didn’t even know you could cook, Luthor.”

“I can do a lot of things, but cooking isn’t one of those” she confessed “I know enough not to starve” Lena turned her eyes to Alex, taking a deep breath and choosing carefully her next words “do you want to tell me what happened?” she asked softly “you don’t have to if you don’t…”

“It’s not a bad thing to ask for help, right?”

“Shit, you were listening?” Lena grumbled, making Alex snort.

“It’s okay, Lena” she sighed “and you’re right, but don’t get used to it. I’m not going to keep stroking your ego forever.”

“Okay, I won’t” she raised her hand in defeat and smiled. Grabbing two plates from the cupboard and placing them on the balcony, alongside some eggs, toast, jelly, and a peach juice she had found earlier “and about what you heard…”

“Don’t worry about it” Alex smiled in understanding “I think the way you’re allowing yourself to feel this pregnancy is amazing, and about what I said earlier…” she coughed nervously “I didn’t mean I don’t want to be a mom or insinuate anything, it’s all a bit complicated and all this rage pent up inside me sometimes escaped towards people who care about me. I think and am sure that you would be a wonderful mother.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t take it personal” Lena was sincere. Alex would never hurt her like that, it wasn’t like her, just like it wasn’t like Kara “so?”

So the redhead told her everything that was buried in her heart, consuming her soul silently. She talked about the way it hurt her to see Maggie give up on their wedding, how it pained her to have to give up on the woman she loved because she didn’t want to renounce her dream of becoming a mother, she talked about the way she cried through endless nights and how much she drank, trying to ignore her feelings and the way she was missing Maggie by her side, in her bed, in her life. She told her about the dreams they dreamt together, their plans for the future, the most stupid details about the ceremony, remembering how stubborn the detective could be sometimes and how much she had insisted for it to be a memorable party.

However, Lena saw Alex’s eyes die a little when she described what it was like to separate the wedding gifts, to call the manager and tell him to cancel it, and, most of all, how hard it was to call all the guests and tell them it was off. The Luthor had been invited, of course, in fact, she was going as Kara’s ‘date’. It was always like that, they were partners. It was hard to process the breakup, especially when it seemed so abrupt. Maggie didn’t want to be a mother while Alex had dreamt of it her whole life. How could life be so ironic? Analyzing it, Lena realized she never wanted to be a mother either, not because she wasn’t fond of children, but because she didn’t have enough knowledge on motherhood to follow as an example.

And there, in front of her, a woman was begging to become a mother. Someone who had to give up on something so big as love so she could pursue her dream. Suddenly, Lena’s hands moved to her belly, stroking it lightly and trying to run away from that feeling she got, that maybe she didn’t deserve to be pregnant. Alex deserved it, she was the one who had the right to enjoy the nine months, waiting for that someone to love her unconditionally, It was funny to imagine how things would be fixed if they could just change places. Life truly was a bitch.

“I can’t say I understand the situation, but I know how terrifying it can be to now be in control” Lena spoke after Alex finished the story “and I’m going to say this again: to destroy yourself, it’s not worth it. Because there’s no alcohol in the world that can make this pain stop or make the wound heal. Yes, it will alleviate everything because you’ll be feeling nothing, but when you sober up, things will be three times heavier in your chest.”

“I don’t know what to do…” Alex sighed in defeat “I don’t know how to move on from this.”

“The first step is to ask for help and I’m willing to help you if you want me to” she smiled “that’s what friends are for.”

“For fuck’s sake Lena not that sentence” Alex grumbled, hiding her face under her hand “anyway, I don’t want to mess up your routine or become a burden to you.”

“You won’t be, this change depends only on how much you want it and I can do nothing if you won’t cooperate” Lena explained calmly “I’ll be by your side and listen to you whenever you want, but you have got to escape this vice.”

“And what if I can’t?”

“You’ll only know if you try” Lena reached for her hand, feeling its warmth “I have to go, have to prepare myself for a meeting in the afternoon” she got up from the balcony and cleaned the table, putting the leftover on the fridge “anything thing you need, call me or text. I may take a while to answer but I will. The walked slowly towards the front door and Lena put her shoes again “try to get some sleep, it will do you good.”

“Lena” Alex held her arm before she could leave and took a deep breath.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

 

***

 

Saturdays could be a synonym for rest, for animation for the weekend, or even for an excuse to get wasted. But not for Lena Luthor. Who never learned what rest or spending time inside the house doing nothing meant. Usually, all her days were about work and more work, piles, and piles of paper on her desk, documents to sign. Either on the company or in her office, the CEO was always busy. Therefore her excitements came from new projects she was financing or brand new ideas for the L-Corp laboratories. She missed being a scientist, to spend nights awake making texts and experiments. In resume, there was no rest, animation, or excuse to get wasted.

After all, she was pregnant. And more importantly, her Seedy simply despised the smell of alcohol.

Lena’s morning now came down to feeling her feet hurt from spending the Friday walking from room to room, writing annotations about her new curiosity with Agnes laying of her legs. She never thought she would come to the point to learn Kryptonian online, wearing a sweatshirt, hearing the rain fall outside, and devouring her third ice cream bowl. Autumn’s cold was already giving a taste of what winter would feel like, the thin rain continued non-stop and orangely brown leaves were scattered all around town. Soon November would come. Though she knew it was freezing outside, Lena felt extremely hot. It was like there was a heater inside her body, and, as she touched her belly, she knew why.

“We are in plain autumn and you’re making me eat ice cream” Lena murmured to herself, or better, to Seedy “not that I’m complaining, as long as you don’t make me have those weird desires I’m glad to eat whatever you want” Lena pulled her shirt up, touching her hot skin directly “four months together, hm? There’s still five ahead of us but I wanted to tell you that.... that I like having you here with me. However scary and despairing it has been… we’re in this together” Agnes raised her head quickly, interrupting Lena. “Agnes, has anyone arrived?” the puppy jumped out of the sofa and ran to the door, barking repeatedly “hey! It’s okay! Calm down!” Lena unlocked the door and her heart almost stopped when she found who was on the other side.

A blonde woman, wearing the glasses Len knew so well, a blue sweater and dark jeans. Carrying the most amazing smile on her face and the smell coming from the packages she was carrying made her stomach roar ou loud.

“Kara!” Lena exclaimed surprised. When had she arrived home?

“Surprise!” Kara blushed and was soon attacked by an excited dog “hey, Agnes!”

“Let me get this” she took the packages and Kara knelt to say hi to Agnes.

“You’re feeling better, hm? You smell so good and I love your new leash” Kara spoke with a high voice a let the puppy lick her face “do you like your new home?” You do, I know you do” she smiled as she caught the Luthor’s eyes gazing at her “I think there are two very jealous people here” Kara whispered to Agnes, making the other woman laugh.

“I used to be your favorite” Lena complained jokingly and soon all tension in her body dissipated as she felt the strong, firm arms of her friend around her.

“You two are my favorites” Kara murmured, letting the smell of the dark hair flood her lungs “I missed you.”

“I missed you too” Lena confessed and her stomach complained again “this is Seedy telling you she’s hungry.”

 

“Or maybe she’s telling me she missed me too” kara smiled childishly and moved her hands down to Lena’s belly, getting down to face it directly “I missed you too, I hope you behaved yourself and got your mother to eat.”

“Hey!” Lena crossed her arms, but she was in no condition to protest further. Kara was there, caressing her skin with such tenderness and affection that she felt like crying again. Fucking hell.

When was this hormonal nightmare going to end?

“I brought you presents!” Kara jumped up and her stomach roared as well “but can we eat first?”

“Of course!” Lena smiled and they headed for the kitchen, sitting on the table by the oven “how was the trip?”

“Insane, but I had a good time,” Kara said truthfully “but I’m glad to be back” Lena put the drinks on the table while Kara unpackaged the food.

“God!” Lena moaned, tasting the potstickers melt in her mouth “I could orgasm just from eating this” Kara blushed hard and tried to think about anything but that information “I was almost exploding with desire.”

“Well, good thing I showed up,” Kara said proudly.

“My hero” she still had her mouth full, which failed to make the situation sexy, going towards funny and adorable “what gifts did you bring?”

“Ah!” Kara ran to the sofa and grabbed the bag she had threw there “maybe I got too excited and… well, I didn’t know what to buy you and didn’t want to upset you, but I also didn’t want to come home with empty hands, because everything there kept reminding me of you and… er, I just…”

“Deep breaths, dear” Lena smiled “show me what you’ve got.”

Damn it, Kara thought, she calls me dear and asks me to take deep breaths?

“Uh, okay” she nodded, taking some plastic bags and placing them over the balcony “this one is for us to use at the next class” Kara laughed embarrassed while Lena took the shirt, a soft pink shirt with a sentence that read: ‘eating for two’.

She smiled, emotional and as she took the other shirt, a loud snort echoed through the apartment, making Agnes lift an ear, confuse. The tissue was soft yellow and in it said: ‘eating for five’ and underneath in: ‘ps: I’m not pregnant’. Why did this match them so much? Lena thought silently. Why couldn’t they be like those couples who wore matching clothes and go out to walk holding hands in the park? It was a cliche, she knew that. However, she was so sentimental, so stupidly full of hormones that all that Lena wanted was to live a romantic cliche. Where everything went wrong at first but it turned out for the better and they would live happily ever after.

“It’s us,” Lena said, trying not to cry. Again.

“Take a look at these” Kara pointed at two matching black shirts and a small white overall, “this one says ‘player 1’, which is you, and this one ‘player 2’ it’s me” then the Luthor held the overall, thinking it so small and fragile

“Player 3 had entered the game” Lena read out loud, feeling her eyes tear up.

“And that’s Seedy” Kara continued “Winn helped me pick it up, he told me it was very nerdy and that it reminded you.”

“Winn?” Kara nodded yes “I love it.”

“And I bought this one” she showed another overall, a light green that said ‘my older sister barks’, which made Lena laugh “and of course, Agnes, don’t you think I forgot about you” Kara grabbed the smaller package “I brought some treats, and they smell so good that even I was curious.”

“Ew, that’s disgusting” Lena frowned, as Kara laughed.

“Anyway, I brought one of each flavor because I didn’t know which one was best and I was not going to taste it” she enhanced the no looking at Lena “and I also got this little flannel to attach to your leash” Kara got up and kneel before the puppy. Lena noticed that it was a light tissue, with some flowers in it, on the center, the L-Corp logo. The same one that was outside its building “now Lena Luthor has a new hero.”

And that was when it got too much. Quickly, Lena buried her face in her hands and sobbed, feeling stupid for crying. She didn’t know if the emotional discharge was completely related to the pregnancy, well, of course, it had something to do with it, but Lena also knew she was also crying for everything she never dared to cry about before. Kara was there, being tender, helpful, an amazing friend, and Lena didn’t even have words to thank her.

“Hey, did I say anything wrong?” the blonde got up fast and stroked her friend’s shoulder “was… was it something I did? I’m sorry if…”

“No, Kara, of course not” she tried to take a deep breath “it’s just this fuc…”

“No bad words” Kara raised her hand in a serious tone.

“Freaking… I was going to say freaking” Lena rolled her eyes, making her friend laugh “I’m fine, I’m just emotionally overwhelmed.”

“I know, but her… we have an ultrasound today!” she smiled largely “so let’s finish eating and while you get ready, I’ll clean the kitchen.”

“You’re lucky I could reschedule it for a Saturday,” Lena said with her mouth full again.

“Perks of being a Luthor?” Kata teased “c’mon, mama bear, let’s finish eating.”

“I have something to show you before we leave” she confessed, waiting for what reaction she was going to get.

“Really? What is it?” Kara smiled excitedly.

“First things first, you have to promise me you won’t get too excited or anything like that” Lena said “I still have processed what I did and don’t really want to think about it now. I just wanted to…” she sighed. What was she trying to do? “I just wanted to share it with you…”

“I’m curious,” Kara said, fixing her glasses. Lena got up and guided them down the corridor. The second to last room was where she used to keep her belongings from college, books, and boxes of her old things from Metropolis. Things she didn’t dare to let go of.

As she opened the door, Lena could face it all again, all the diapers, baby bottles, little clothes, and shoes she had bought in her last adventure. Everything was carefully separated and placed on small white iron boxes, covered so nothing would get dusty or exposed to sunlight. Her breathing failed and Lena looked to her side, where Kara stood still, silently shocked. The young Danvers walked into the room and traced everything with her fingertips. She observed each detail on every shirt, overall, and even the baby bottle’s color. She smiled and she found the bathing lotions, which smelled sweet and soft, like the diapers.

“You…”

“Please don’t…” Lena sighed “say anything.”

“Okay” Kara agreed “but I just wanted to tell you… that you’re the strongest woman that I know and that… I am proud of you, Lena” she hugged her friend close, holding all her weight, trying to trap her emotions into herself.

“Thank you.”

“I really am proud of you” Kara repeated. And Lena never wanted to cry so much before.

 

***

 

One thing was certain, Kara was too quiet in the car. In fact, her head was begging to feel like it was going to explode with worries she kept on her heart. While she was on her trip to Earth 1, all Kara could think of was Lena and her child, she was desperate to go back home. She even told Barry what was happening, because her focus was basically non while they were fighting. He advised her to tell Lena the truth, to tell her how she felt because now she was running out of time. Lena was pregnant and was going to give the baby up and not even from far that situation looked simple. However, the Flash knew all too well what Kara meant when she said she didn’t want to lose her best friend, because yes, that was a possible outcome.

More than that, Kara remembered Lilian Luthor’s look at her at that dinner. She thank Rao that Lena was passed out, but the elder woman’s words still haunted her mind.

“Lena is going to find the truth out and when that happens, she will never forgive you.”

 

As she looked to her friend, so focused on the road out the window heart sank in her chest and Kara felt like crying. She was scared, frightened, terrified. She didn’t have any control of her life on that subject and she felt people she loved always slipped through her fingers. What would she do if Lena never forgave her? What was she going to do when she witnessed the Luthor sign the adoption papers for her own child” How could she tell her that she wanted to keep it, to take care of it, to watch it grow and not lose her best friend in the way? Truth be told. There was no simple way to come up to her and tell it, because many times, words can hurt or sound like something she didn’t mean to. Kara could never move on if she knew she had broken her trust.

While the young Danvers was fighting her inner demons, Lena was also wondering about that pregnancy. About the fact, she hadn’t done any blood exams since the pre-natal began. Shit. It wasn’t her fault though, since when she came into the lab to take the blood samples, all needles broke when trying to get under her skin. Her eyes went wide open and she cursed herself for her stupid mistake. Lena already knew sharp blades or edges didn’t cut her, but the nurse beside her began to panic, which required a lot of patience and wit from Lena to calm him down.

A whole lot of money as well to keep him silent about what happened.

Lena knew that Dr. Cameron was going to ask about the exams and request new ones. That’s why Lena faked them and bought her more time to think of an alternative solution to that simple big problem. When talked about it with Supergirl, the hero wasn’t too fond of the only other choice they had: ask the DEO for help. Neither was Lena, that’s why later she came up with a plan C that didn’t involve her giving her blood to J’onn and his men. Alex was her last hope and she was going to help her, even if Lena had to beg for it. The Luthor sighed and slowly caressed her belly. She was about to see her baby again, she was going to finally find out if it was a boy or a girl, if they were fine and healthy. Lena couldn’t properly say she was shinning with happiness, but she certainly was anxious and joyful.

She turned to her friend on the other side of the car and smiled for herself, catching a glimpse of her perfume in the air. Lena wanted to tell Kara what was happening to her body, she wanted to ask her for help, to tell her she was scared about Seedy’s future and what that baby could become. However, Kara wasn’t Seedy’s mother, it wasn’t her burden to carry those concerns. How was Lena going to tell her that Alex was helping her get secret blood tests? Tell her her skin seemed to be made of steel now? It wasn’t a sensible, much less normal conversation. If Lena had to tell someone on the DEO about that problem, that person was going to be Alex.

The rest of the ride continued in total silence. Both women trying to process their anguished thoughts, ones that could have been solved with an honest dialogue from both parts.

“Miss Luthor, how are you feeling?” the doctor asked as they walked into the room and sat down on chairs in front of the desk “make yourselves comfortable.”

“Apparently fine” Lena answered honestly “nausea diminished considerably, though I still can’t eat the same things I used to. But I’m not complaining, this is definitely better.”

“It is very common for pregnant women to never go back to eat like they used to” Cameron explained, “a lot of time you will be able to feel the same taste or sensation you had, But the smell can bother you, same goes for the texture and taste.”

“I think you’ll never eat kale again” Kara smiled victoriously.

“It’s your dream come true, isn’t it darling?” Lena smiled back, ironic.

“Well, I’m going to request an update on your blood samples, so I need you to collect some more” Dr. Cameron smiled and stood up “now, let’s see if we’ve got a boy or a girl?” Kara and Lena exchanged looks, excited.

Lena laid down over the uncomfortable bed and pushed her shirt up and her pants down, so her stomach would be completely exposed. Kara sat down next to her and held her hand, watching attentively Lena get goosebumps as the cold gel touched her skin and the machine slipped over it. Soon, the screen over the huge computer and they saw the black and white image. Although now it was easier to find Seedy there. Lena squeezed her friend’s hand thigh, ignoring the cold sweat coming out of it.

“Well, here is your baby, Miss Luthor” the doctor mover the mouse to the image’s center “it is the size of a pear now, with almost 12 centimeters from her head to its legs, that is around 4,7 inches and around 0,22 pounds.”

“Is it okay?” Lena asked quickly.

“The growing pattern is normal” she changed the screen’s focus “here are the legs which are going to grow quickly, here are the arms, hands and…look!” she pointed to a blur near the baby’s head “it is sucking on their finger”

“Look at those little hands…” Kara whispered to herself, completely in love “sucking their finger…”

“Yeah…” Lena nodded, feeling overwhelmed by that same feeling.

“It is normal, for this to happen, especially now that it is discovering the space around it” Cameron explained “you will feel a little bit o cramping, but don’t worry, it’s just your baby pulling on the umbilical cord.

“And can’t that hurt?” Kara asked concerned “Can’t it.. well, harm Lena?”

“No, it will just bother her but there is no harm in it” the doctor continued patiently “oh, another thing, it will start to kick” Lena felt her heart pump in her chest. She was finally going to feel Seedy move, finally “it’s not a rule, many moms begin to feel it around the twentieth week, but since we have a big baby here, you’re probably going to feel it soon” she smiled. Lena expected it anxiously for it, waited for it as she had never anticipated anything before.

“I… I had a little accident, I think” Lena spoke “my shirt, actually, it got stained with a white liquid, it wasn’t a lot but.. is it… normal\/

 

Kara stared at her, confused. How much had she missed this week? Rao! She felt bad for not knowing every detail.

“Oh, it is completely normal” Cameron answered “it is called colostrum and it is what your body produces before that maternal milk is ready. It will become more frequent so don’t worry about it.” she smiled “Well, are you ready to know the sex?”

The pair held each other's hands tight and exchanged intense looks, full of expectation.

“Yes” Lena answered

“Your baby is a little girl” she announced “congratulations mommies!”

At the moment, neither Kara and much less Lena was capable of correcting the doctor and telling her they weren’t a couple. That they weren’t together and Kara wasn’t that baby’s mother. All that could do was shed happy tears. They hugged each other and Kara let her friend bury her face on her shoulder, feeling her sob. A girl. Seedy was going to be a beautiful girl. Perhaps with dark hair and blue eyes. Or maybe blonde hair and green eyes. It didn't matter, for either of them. When Lena laid down again, doctor Cameron continued to explain about the second trimester and that the baby was going to double its size.

After the remaining explanations, they listened to the heartbeat again, stronger this time. Impetuously strong.

 

***

 

Winn and Kara stood with attention in front of a computer program that the little genius - how he liked to call himself - had invented that week while she was away. Kara was sitting on top of her red cape, uselessly trying to pay attention to what her friend was saying. As much as she wanted to focus on his words, her mind was far away, very far away. Still stuck on the events of four days ago, when she learned her baby was a girl, growing healthy and strong. It was humorous to watch Supergirl wander through the DEO hallways on that Saturday. The hero was constantly dancing when she wasn’t out on the streets, she kept murmuring songs while writing her articles and even began to bring donuts for the other agents, another way to show her immense happiness.

It was hilarious. Winn was constantly making fun of her for it, telling Kara that maternity suited her and that if she had known all it took to get Lena to eat was her to get her pregnant, Kara would have done that earlier. A comment which caused her to roll her eyes and go back to life in her thoughts and dreams.

A girl. Would she have her smile? Or maybe Lena’s cute dimples?

Rao, she was going to be the prettiest child in the universe. Kara was humble and sincere with her opinion. Now she understood what the term ‘mother bear’ meant, though she had never seen a bear with its children to compare the behavior. Who invented that phrase anyway? That didn’t matter. All that Supergirl wanted 2was to finish her work, drop by CatCo to deliver her completed article, say hi to James, fly through her favorite Chinese restaurant to get her favorite potstickers, and pick Lena up at L-Corp, who knew should rest but still went to work every day.

Which made Kara go rescue her every day, using food as a way to get her out of there. She loved how her daughter was so similar to her when it came to food.

“Earth to Kara!” Winn snapped “you’re not even listening!”

“Er... sorry” Kara frowned, not even trying to fake it “I kind of got distracted”

“Yeah, I noticed” he sighed “a distraction that had a first and last name. Speaking of her, have you two decided Seedy’s name yet, or are you going with Seedy as an official name?” Winn spun in his chair to face the hero, fidgeting with her cape “Seedy Luthor Danvers, or is it going to be Zor-El?”

“Of course not” Kara sighed “and I haven’t even asked Lena about it, yes” she admitted, a little upset “and I’m scared of… I don’t know… upset her or cross a line.”

“You still haven’t convinced her to change her mind about the adoption?” Winn asked and the hero sighed again. Convincing wasn’t the right word.

“Lena… she…” Kara took a deep breath “I don’t know if I should convince her if it is right to do so, you know? I don’t want her to feel pressured to do something she’s not ready for, you know? Lena would be a great mother, Winn, and I’m not saying that because she is amazing at everything, but she’s amazing” Kara couldn’t put it into words, but Winn laughed, understanding it “I want Lena to make her decision considering only her heart, so I shouldn’t be talking about it in her head.”

“Don’t worry, Romeo” he teased “From what you’ve told me, she even went shopping for baby stuff, right?”

“Yes! Rao! And she didn’t even wait for me!” Kara pouted and crossed her arms “Winn, the clothes are so little and colorful, I’ve never seen so many small cute things together” she smiled, enchanted “Lena even bought an overall with Supergirl’s symbol! My home’s symbol, my family’s!”

“Take it easy, okay?” he warned “It’s a good start but you still have… how many months ahead?”

“Lena is sixteen weeks far.”

“Do I look like someone who understands weeks of pregnancy, Kara?” Winn rolled his eyes “what is wrong with speaking in months? It’s so much simpler!”

“She just completed the fourth month, Winn” Kara snorted “I thought you were a genius” she teased.

“Computer programs are much less complex than babies.” he explained, “now get out of here, your sister was looking for you.”

“Okay, anything unusual happens at L-Corp, let me know” she pointed a finger and tried to make a straight face.

“I still can’t believe you’re making the DEO monitor L-Corp 24/7” he shook his head “we have crimes to solve, bad guys, aliens!”

“Keep an eye on her apartment too or I’ll send you on a field trip to follow her all day.”

“You were more fun when you weren’t a parent” he complained.

“Shut up, Winn!” she screamed already flying upstairs.

 

***

 

Lena was extremely thankful for the cold and the rain, knowing she was to feel the same hotness she felt when the pregnancy began, she would probably murder someone. Not that she still experienced the cold the same way she used to, it was strange. To say it was because of the pregnancy would be an understatement, her belly was constantly hot. Anyone who touched that area could feel the warmth that crossed her shirt. What made her diminished considerably the number of coats she used to wear or the amount of energy she used to spend with the heater at home.

That Wednesday was going to be stormy, the CEO had to be present at three meetings and a video conference with the Japanese investors. If everything went according to plan, soon she would be able to put her new projects to work. Which was going to be highly lucrative to L-Corp. After standing for longer than she could bear, Lena finally finished signing everything she needed to and returned to her office, asking Jess to not let anyone bother her unless it was of extreme importance.

Or if it was one of the Danvers sisters. She laughed to herself after saying that sentence. When had she acquired that many Danvers’ in her life?

 

“I hope your own mother isn’t such a bother to be barred from your office” Lena’s body shiver and a wave of nausea ran through her body as she heard that voice. Lena lifted her eyes, hoping she wasn’t going to find who she knew was standing there. Though it was useless to hope.

“What do you want, mother?” She faced Lilian. who smiled a poisonous smile. The older woman sat down on the chair in front of her desk and placed her purse on the table “I’m busy” Lena lied. She was actually doing personal research that couldn’t be further from her work.

“What do I want?” she asked brutally “Lena, what is going on with you?” Lilian raised her tone “I get constant information that you’re feeling sick or that you’re not doing all your tasks concerning your brother’s company.” while she spoke, Lena only got sicker and sicker. Feeling the distasteful juice from her stomach on the back of her throat. “You know you can’t hide that pregnancy now.”

“This is my business, so please, if you have anything more to say, be quick” Lena kept her posture, placing a hand on her stomach.

“You’re pathetic, Lena” Lilian frowned “why don’t you think about the consequences of your actions? You think life can be lived recklessly? With casual encounters?” her eyes were stone cold, same as her words “you have a name and a reputation to keep, you can’t just act like a teenager!”

“Is this all you have to say?” Lena took a deep breath. Her heart was beating a thousand miles per hour.

“Who is the father of this child, Lena?” Lilian interrogated almost screaming and the CEO had to bite her lips to keep her lunch from coming out “oh, God” her mother laid back, putting her hand in her mouth with disgust. Whatever she did, Lilian could always read Lena flawlessly “you don’t know who he is. I should have known you would never be a real Luthor.”

 

“My daughter doesn’t have a father” Lena spoke loud and clear “she doesn’t have a father and she will never have one. Are you satisfied?” She got up and walked to the mini bar, grabbing a bottle of water and chugging it down in one take. Her nerves were on her skin.

“What do you mean she doesn’t have a father” Lilian grumbled, “every child has a biological father.”

“Keep thinking that, it will be easier for you and me.” she was dry and before Lena could continue, a loud thud was heard from her balcony, making both mother and daughter turn to the glass door.

A soaking wet Supergirl appeared, with her once shiny lustrous hair, now dripping and sticking on her face.

“That is all I needed” Lilian sighed “why don’t you take care of your own problems?”

“Miss Luthor, is everything okay here?” the hero ignored Lilian, shooting a concerned look at Lena.

“Yes, my mother was just on her way out” Lena turned to face her mother “wasn’t you?”

“We’re not done,” Lilian said making her rage apparent, grabbing her purse and looking at her daughter “your father would be disappointed and so would your brother.” Lena clenched her jaw “goodbye”. The women watched the older one make her way to the door and leave, leaving a heavy atmosphere behind.

“Sorry for showing up like this and… wetting your office” Supergirl notice the water pool around her shoes “it wasn’t my intention but I didn’t want to leave you alone with your mother.”

“Don’t worry about it, I can’t defend myself” Lena answered, still tense “take this” she handled a small towel she kept in one of the cupboards “can you detach the cape from the rest of the suit?”

“I think so” she sighed “I need help…”

“Right” Lena stood behind Supergirl and detached the heavy red cape, feeling all the power that it emanated. Hanging it on the coat rack where it could at least dry off “feeling better?”

“Er… yes” Kara smiled, covering her body in the towel like a child and taking her boots that now seemed like a well of water “sorry for this, again” she blushed, feeling her face getting too hot.

“I know you probably don’t feel cold, but do you need more towels?” Lena asked politely “you shouldn’t have come during this storm, hero or not, you could’ve gotten hurt.”

“It’s okay, I’ve flown in worst conditions” Supergirl shuddered “and you, how are you?”

“Perfectly fine, though I would be better if Lilian hadn’t shown up” she confessed “anyway, I need your help.”

“What do you need?” Supergirl sat up straight, right next to Lena, paying attention.

“First, this is for you” she handled an envelope “these are the last two ultrasounds” Lena smiled “it’s a girl”

Kara’s heart beat out of compass. Of course, she already knew that, but anytime hearing that confirmation felt like hearing it for the first time. Every time.

“A girl” she whispered “and is she okay? Growing healthy?”

“Growing too much, a lot of clothes won’t even fit” Lena confirmed, caressing her belly and noticing the hero watch her movement “do… do you want to feel it?” her eyes make and for a split second, Kara could swear Lena knew the whole truth.

“May I?” she asked, hesitantly. Three heartbeats were dancing in the same rhythm at the moment.

Lena nodded yes and reached for the hero’s hands, placing them over her shirt. The heat radiated through Supergirl’s body, making her feel weird, safe. It was funny for Lena to notice how Seedy and her other mother shared the same body temperature. Supergirl suspired, feeling the urge of tears, she smiled, lifting her eyes to meet the Luthor’s.

“Hey, darling” Lena whispered gently, putting her hand next to Supergirl’s “this is your yeyu”

“What did you say?” Kara pulled back scared, losing her breathing rhythm.

What had Lena said?

“Yeyu, is that correct?” she asked nervously “am I pronouncing it right?”

“I… not, er…” Supergirl reached for her hair, still wet, and sighed. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real.

“What is it?” Lena placed a hand on the hero’s knee, starting to fear that reaction, Supergirl was on the verge of tears.

“I just…” she tried to catch her breath “no one… no one had ever spoken kryptonian to me or… it’s just been so long… yeyu” the syllables came out heavy from her mouth “mother.”

“Yes, mother” Lena nodded “you’re her mother too, Supergirl.”

“I am” she smiled, trying to keep the tears from falling and went back to touching the Luthor’s stomach “I’m your yeyu, is’kah” her smile grew larger “Ukiemiv’odh w’rrip, eh is’kah”
“I love you?” Lena spoke and Kara died twice before realizing it was a question and not a declaration.

“Uh, yeah” she scoffed “I love you, little one”

“Can you teach me?” Lena regretted asking the minute she spoke “I mean if it’s not painful for you. I don’t want to bother you, I just think she should carry a part of us, even if we don’t keep her in the end.”

“Right, er… okay” Supergirl agreed “I’ll teach you”

Lena was going to say something else but loud sirens began to sound and a boom was heard, breaking the calm atmosphere they were immersed in. Using her super speed, Supergirl put her boots on and plucked her cape in place, going straight to the balcony, where the rain fell mercilessly. Before leaving, she turned to face the CEO, feeling her soul ache and the guilty corrupt her heart. She loved Lena too much to ever let anyone harm her. And yet she knew that, by hiding her identity, she was the one hurting Lena the most.

And what hurt the most was to be aware that Kara Danvers was not going to be the mother, only Supergirl.

Without saying anything, she smiled and flew away, leaving Lena behind. Supergirl fought who she needed to fight and even punching some bad guys didn’t help the discharge all the frustration in her. As she returned to her apartment, Kara broke down, crying while flying, trying not to hit any buildings as she made her way. Her vision got blurry and all she wanted at the moment was to take a hot shower, ear, and sleep. The ultrasound envelope was given to Alex by her, before heading to the robbery place.

Kara landed on her balcony and found it odd to see all the lights on. She took off her cape and tried to fix her hair, leaving her boots outside the apartment. As she walked in, Kara found her sister laying down on the couch, devouring a bowl of ice cream with a blanket around her.

“Alex?” Kara frowned “I thought you were going home.”

“I… didn’t want to be alone” Alex confessed and Kara’s heart melted, she liked remembering that no matter what, they were still friends, sisters “and we have to talk.”

“Rao!” Kara complained, “I knew there was something behind that ‘I don’t want to be alone’.”

“Hey!” Alex punched her arm, knowing her sister wouldn’t feel a thing “I do miss you, but there is something more urgent that we have to discuss.”

“Can I at least take a shower?”

“No.”
“Ugh” Kara laid back “then give me this” she took the ice cream and the spoon “I deserve this.”

“Not fair” the redhead complained but Kara ignored her “okay, what I want to tell you is that we’re fucked and not in a good way.”

“Oh… what do you mean,” Kara asked with her mouth full of ice cream.

“Eliza is coming to town, tomorrow,” Alex said and the blonde still looked confused.

“Okay, so what?”

“Let me be clearer” Alex fixed her posture and stared at Kara “Eliza, our mother, is coming to National City for two reasons. Number one: she wants to meet my fiancee, or better ex-fiancee” Alex said and didn’t let her sister process the information, continuing “Number two: she wants to meet her daughter’s boyfriend, the one you didn’t mention was thrown into outer space for months ago and oh! And you weren’t even in love with him, you are in love with your best friend” Alex was ruthless “should I mention that this friend is also pregnant with your child?”

“Oh, Rao!” Kara whimpered “We’re going to die, Alex!”

“Be ready, because you’re the one picking her up at the airport tomorrow while I clean my apartment up” Alex said seriously, mentally thanking Lena for helping her last week.

“Why me?” she complained.

“Because you’re the one who knocked up your best friend, I just called off an engagement.”

“Alex!”

They laughed together and hugged each other. The young Danvers didn’t know about the engagement news, or about her sister’s alcohol problem coming back, but that night, the sisters promised each other to stay united. Alex told Kara everything, detailing every pain and sadness, while the younger sister listened carefully and eventually got up to grab more ice cream. Eliza was arriving in a few hours and the world could fall apart at any moment.

Chapter 10: Are you jealous, Lena?

Notes:

Hello everyone, sorry for the wait but there you go. Enjoy!

Chapter Text

Lena had many conceptions about romantic dates, she knew how they worked, how you had to have at least a draft of a script to how it was going to go, so if things were embarrassing or weird, you had a plan to escape it. She never expected things to go like the cliche movies, or even liked to raise her expectations above average. If she was interested in someone enough for them to sleep together, then it happened and Lena never let any of the encounters grow from more than a sexual fling. She’d always make an excuse and come home the same way she had left: alone.

However, ever since she had met a certain reporter, Lena would constantly ask herself what kind of dates Kara enjoyed. Of course, she knew her best friend enough to know she was the kind of woman that wanted a cliche romance and, let’s be real, anyone who asked her out should notice that detail. But that wasn’t true. Lena was an observer, she was one ever since she was a child, she liked to take in details that would be stored in the back of her mind to be used later. She knew that her best friend liked romantic comedies cliches, that she believed in soul mates, in love at first sight, and Disney-like true love kisses.

Lena’s only disappointment and concern were that, in reality, Kara only got involved with guys that never cared to notice that detail, which caused her dates to be a bit disastrous, the last one in the least being that list being that Mon-El guy- who Lena was relieved that would never come back. Okay, Lena was not the best person to judge Kara, her dating life was not the best, it was barely existing. The CEO’s life was too focused on studying and spending her nights alone in the lab or her office, having wine by herself. Ever since she was a teenager, mainly because she had skipped many phases, Lena saw herself obligated to fit in a pattern and a way of life that was nothing like the one she had dreamt. There was no time for real dating, for getting involved, for falling in love, or for allowing anyone to be part of her story.

And Lena didn’t want someone like her to be by Kara’s side, she deserved so much better. Kara deserved someone that knew her truthfully and completely, someone that would move mountains to turn her life into a real Hollywood cliche.

At some point, Lnea thought about asking her friend out, but her inner useless lesbian convinced her that it was better not to and that it would complicate everything. After all, what did she know about romance? What kind of knowledge on the subject did the Luthor have to give Kara everything she deserved? The truth was that if Lena sat down to make the math, the equation counting her lack of romantic experiences, her traumas and fears, and ability to destroy everything she touched and her strong feelings for Kara, all that the CEO found was an empty result for the x she was trying to find.

However, love isn’t mathematics, and therefore, it can’t be counted. The increase of heartbeat pace when the other person walks into the room is innumerable. But Lena was yet to discover this.

When she imagined her date with Kara, Lena made up every possible and impossible scenario in her head before making a solid decision. But being on her way to a pregnancy lesson, with her best friend and wearing matching t-shirts was a scenario that Lena’s mind forgot to consider. Besides, that was, most definitely, not a date.

So why did Kara look like she was shining with happiness that morning?

“Our mommy of the year is back!” Ramona smiled and hugged Lena, who hugged her back, laughing because hugging people was only becoming harder and harder due to the size of her belly “soon we won’t even be able to get close to each other!”

“How do you hug people with this thing in between?” Lena laughed and Julie soon came up to say hi.

“So?” Julie and Ramona asked excitedly, “Boy or girl?”

“Girl” Lena responded, fluttery, feeling her heart grow twice bigger in her body. She was her little girl.

The pair hugged her again, congratulating and Lena swore she heard a ‘told you so’ and snorted.

“I see your lovely wife is back” Ramona smiled and then noticed the matching shirts “you two are definitely my favorite couple, look at that!” she drew Julie’s attention, who smiled largely.

“My husband won’t even wear a pink shirt if I ask him to” she complained jokingly “and how can she eat for five and still have this body” Kara blushed.

“I… I work out every now and then” she scoffed, nervously and Lena intertwined their fingers. That was a usual question but it still bothered her.

“Kara has a great metabolism” Lena explained it short and simple, excusing them and dragging Kara across the room “is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it is” she sighed “what are we learning today?”

“I have no idea,” Lena shrugged.

Before they could continue, the pair was interrupted by a tall, thin perfectly perfect shadow.

“Morning” Emily smiled like she always did and all Lena could think about was: how is she always looking like that?

Lena was constantly feeling like her getting was oilier, like her feet and back weight tons and that her stomach was never satisfied, she was also too aware that her weight was only going up and up- though maybe that was an overreaction- so Lena couldn’t really deal with Emily, the Victoria Secret’s model lookalike. It was too much for her self-esteem.

“Morning” Kara answered with a smile, looking like the sun if Lena was to compare “how is the baby?”

“Incredibly well” she answered “I’m almost finishing the seventh month and I didn’t even gain ten pounds. Pilates and hydro gymnastics do help, but of course keeping my diet was essential.” she bragged, making the Luthor clench her jaw.

So much useless information that no one asked about, Lena thought to herself.

“And you’re doing it all by yourself?” Kara asked, surprised “it must be hard… and lonely…”

“Yes, I am doing it all alone, but I don’t care, better alone than in bad company” she laughed it off and noticed how Kara was staring at her belly “do you want to touch it?”

“I…” she didn’t know what to answer, because she wasn’t sure if she should or if it was appropriate “I… er…” Emily then got closer, smirking, finding it adorable the way Kara was blushing.

“No, she does not” Lena pulled Kara by her shirt and glared at her. Her face changed quickly and something was bothering her chest. “now if you excuse me, we need to find our places for the class.”

They walked away and Kara was confused by the sudden change of mood. But she preferred to stay silent so the situation wouldn’t aggravate, she had read in many books that mood swings were extremely common in pregnant women and it wasn’t advisable for the people around to be in a bad mood as well. Carrying a child inside them for months was enough exhaustion as it was.

“Well, today our class will be about how to help our mommies relax” Zara smiled with her joyful energy, explaining everything with her delicious voice “we know that the third trimester is the most complicated and tiring of them, that’s why I want our papas and our mama Kara because we're inclusive here” she blinked for the young Danvers, who turned to Lena, unsure of how to react “please, sit behind your partners, letting them sit between your legs, okay?”

The couples moved over the mattresses, positioning and talking, while the teacher went to help Emily, who didn’t have a partner. Theoretically, it was a simple, easy, and even quick activity, that if Lena wasn’t feeling her heart beating in her mouth and her body overheated with the thought of Kara so close. God, she was going to have a heart attack right there, The blonde, as usual, didn’t see the dirty side of it, she actually found it rather interesting. In no time she placed herself behind her friend, leaving some space between her times so Lena could fit in there. But Lena didn’t move and she wasn’t sure she would be able to.

Damn it, why couldn’t she have fallen in love with someone else.

Besides that, with her highly sensitive skin, Lena knew she was going to get too ‘animated’ and it was the last thing she wanted right now. Shit, shit, shit!

“Lena?” she heard a voice behind her, rushing her thoughts away.

“Uh, yeah,” Lena said, “are you okay with this?”

“C’mon” Kara called her with her hands “if it hurts, you tell me, okay?”

“Okay,” Lena agreed and sat comfortably between Kara’s legs, feeling the hot breath on her neck and shivering her whole body. Fucking hell. that was a bad start “not exactly how I picture being between your legs” she grumbled quietly, only for herself.

But Kara had super hearing.

“I-I..., wh-what?” the kryptonian felt her stomach flutter. Rao! Had Lena really just said that?

Their bodies tensed, the nervousness was palpable and Lena shut her eyes, trying to escape that situation.

“Now that everyone is positioned” Zara went back on talking and Kara tried to relax again, at the same time Lena let her breath escape “well, during gestation, it is usual to feel pains on your lower and higher back, almost on the shoulder. Due to the weight on your stomach, the posture is basically lost” she explained, “so now I want you to put your hands on the shoulder live, and stroke it to the neck, take your time.” She made Emily as an example, going up to her neck and then almost down the arm.

Ramone exhaled hard as she felt her husband’s firm hand stroke her skin clumsily. Lena just decided to pray to God things wouldn’t get worse because her panic was getting bigger. She felt her friend’s hand getting her hair out of the way and her body reacted instantly, almost as if she was going to explode. Kara pushed her so her body wouldn’t be so uptight and the rest of the world seemed to fade when Kara whispered in her ear.

“Is it good like this?” the hot breath with traces of mint hit Lena hard. And it was almost fatal, making all her skin shiver and she held her breath.

“Uhum…” Lena panted delicately. It felt like heaven.

Kara pressed her fingertips hard on the pale skin, watching her hand lightly mark hair, and continued the massage. Slowly going up the shoulder, stroking every pressure point there, and knowing her friend was carrying heavy burdens every day, she took her sweet time. The real problem began when she continued to the side of the neck, pressing hard on her pulse point, getting to under her ear.

“Hm…” she heard Lena moan quietly “this is so good” she whispered, unaware the young Danvers was listening “you’re so good with your hands…”

But Kara was listening to it loud and clear, much for her despair and lack of emotional control that dropped suddenly.

Right. She had to focus on something else if she could. But the harder she tried to direct her attention towards what really mattered- the physical pains on her friends’ back- but the scenario only became worse. The CEO slowly relaxed, silently moaning and letting her breathing follow its own compass, barely realizing her body was, gradually, falling on its back, to the point her back was being upheld by her friend’s chest.

“Okay, everyone” Zara popped their bubble and Lena quickly regained her posture, feeling embarrassed for how much weight she had put on Kara “the lower back part is more complicated because you can’t expect a pregnant woman to lay on their stomach” she explained “that’s why I asked the mommies to come wearing tops and for you to bring pillows” Kara got up and grabbed everything they needed, alongside a chair “each one of you will get your pillow and a chair, while the mommies take their shirts off.”

And so they all did it, following the next step which was to sit in front of the chair, putting the pillow between them, so their breasts and stomach wouldn’t hurt when they laid on the chair. Lena placed her shirt next to her hair and waited for the following instructions. She felt so good that it didn’t even occur to her to think of her friend, who was behind her, sweating as she stared at her naked back. That day was pushing boundaries they never dared to think about and Kara thought she was going to pass out.

Rao! Deep breaths!

Kara observed every freckle in Lena’s white back, which reminded her of the constellations she used to see the freckles on Lena’s white back, reminding her of the constellations from Krypton she used to see on her bedroom window. Kara promised to know them all by heart and her thoughts flew high, as she imagined what it would be like to have this level of intimacy with someone like Lena Luthor, the greatest woman of National City. As much as she knew she was one of the few- to not say the only one- that had this liberty with Lena, but the young Danvers wanted more and wished so hard to tell her friend how much this friendship meant to her, it ached in her chest. Kara was able to hear her relaxed breathing, to notice the way her chest was slowly going up and down which made her ecstatic, alongside the sound of the heartbeat of the two women she loved.

“Now spread the oil over the back” Zara instructed, again demonstrating on Emily “it will make it easier to slide the fingers.”

“Kara probably knows everything about the sliding fingers area” Julie teased, making Ramona snort.

“I can teach you, if you want to,” Kara innocently answered, not getting the conversation’s undertone.

Lena hid her face in her pillow and sighed, unable to make any comments about that.

“Now, carefully move your hands up and down, adding minimal pressure until you have a rhythm” Christ! Lena thought, her head was definitely not forming the image it was supposed to.

The teacher would say up and down but Lena’s mins would understand in and out. And her wet center was definitely agreed with her filthy mind.

Nothing relieved her, especially when her body felt firm strong hands make their way from her waist to her shoulder blade with admirable precision, repeating the way up and down. At that point, Lena’s mind had already melted and self-control wasn’t a word in her dictionary.

“Oh, fuck…” Lena gasped, closing her eyes and trying to hide her heavy breathing “hm…”

“Now on the lower back, with both hands, make open movements” Zara continued “from the center to the sides, always putting pressure but not too strong.”

And so the class continued. Kara was very focused on her task, noticing every time her hands were close to Lena’s belly, remembering it was her daughter who was there. Her fingers traced every inch of pale skin, contouring every dot and she smiled, seeing her friend look so relaxed. Something so rare for her. As embarrassing as it was to hear Lena moan, Kara loved those moments of intimacy, when they could be themselves and were able to enjoy the pregnancy like two normal people, no murderous families or secret identities. It was like being human, being an ordinary person living a simple life.

“Lena?” Kara murmured, pushing some strands of hair on her face aside and finding two bright green eyes staring at her “are you feeling good?”

“Uhum” was all the CEO could answer “just keep going.”

“Have you ever… er, perhaps felt… Seedy kick?” she asked awkwardly. Kara was scared that moment was going to happen and she wouldn’t be around to live it too.

“Not yet” Lena answered, “why?”

“Because… I guess I just… want to know what it’s like” Kara stopped the massage abruptly as Lena began to move. She turned around and the teacher said they could put the shirt back on and get the chairs into place, but Lena didn’t.

Facing her friend, Lena reached her hands and put them on her stomach, feeling Kara’s warmth fit so perfectly with hers. The oil soon spread on her skin again and she did her best to ignore the not so pure thoughts invading her mind on that moment of proximity and intimacy.

“Talk to her” Lena smiled “who knows, maybe she’ll move because I think Seedy is asleep now.”

“But if she’s sleeping I don’t want to wake her” Kara whispered, moving her fingers lightly on the skin’s surface.

“C’mon, she likes to hear your voice,” she admitted, feeling her face go red. Did she really have to say that?

“Really? How… how do you know that?” Kara’s smile lit up her face and Lena’s embarrassment suddenly left, she was glad she was honest about it.

“I don’t know, I think… I just know some things for sure,” she answered, shuddering.

“It’s because you’re a mother, Lena” Ramona came up behind her “mothers always know things, especially when it comes to their babies” she smirked and walked away, leaving them alone again.

“Hey, Seedy…” Kara spoke softly, lightly “if you’re asleep, I’m sorry, but I just… wanted to let you know that you have the most amazing mother in the whole and, though she’s a bit stubborn, she loves you very much.”

“Kara” Lena fought against her tears, oppositely smiling “what about moms from other planets? Have you been out of Earth?” she teased, but Kara felt her heart sink.o

She wanted to say yes, to tell the truth. Alura was a subject she rarely talked about, bringing it to light on her worst days, the ones when anger or an overwhelming nostalgia consumed her. Kara missed her, even though she was completely aware of her mistakes, that she had abandoned her. More than that, she missed her father, her aunt Astra and the rest of her family. Sometimes she would wonder what her parents would say to her becoming a mother, what advice they would give her. Kara never got to know what Alura’s thoughts on pregnancy were, or about raising a baby. Kara got the best instruction she could get and she was eternally grateful for it, for the great education and great teachers she had had, even though it was for such a short time.

“I don’t even need to leave National City to be sure of it, Lena.”

“Now, before you go to the back to have a snack” Zara spoke loudly, drawing everyone’s attention “I want to read something I ran into a couple of days ago and I want you all to pay attention to it.”

“When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND by Emily Kingsley.”

Lena, who was now standing next to her friend, tried to suppress the sob trying to escape her throat. The paragraphs had hit her hard. Each word, each sentence, every truth coming out of it had another wall inside her falling apart, causing the crushing feeling she was beginning to get used to. No, she was not going to Italy, she was not doing anything she had planned to, she wasn’t visiting the Colosseum or eating the Italian pizzas. She'd have to get used to the new people, new perspectives, new language. Her controlled, methodic list of plans and goals was going to be thrown away because she was not going to Italy.

 

She was going to Holland.

So she let the tears roll down, suddenly feeling Kara’s arms around her, supporting her in every way she needed. It felt like somewhere to lay back, to recline her head, and know that, while the world was falling apart, there was someone to hold her. Lena couldn’t keep mourning Rome or Milan, she was going to be happy in Amsterdam and its canals. Maybe it was going to be just as exciting, as interesting. It was a loss, just a different destination.

“Shhh, take a deep breath” Kara caressed her hair, letting her body relax and calm down

“I’m not go-going to Italy” she whispered, still sobbing.

“No” she smiled, now comprehending how personal that story had been “we are going to Holland.”

“We?” Lena stepped back, to take a proper look at Kara.

“Do you intend to leave me behind in this city, all alone to starve without a best friend?” Kara said dramatically, pouting.

“You’re my favorite” she laughed “I wouldn’t go anywhere without you.”

 

***

 

“Do you feel like your body is making you suffer twice as much?” Ramona asked.

The group was sitting around one of the backyard tables, enjoying the nice weather and devouring all the food Zara had bought. Julie and Ramona were next to Kara and Lena, listening to they talk about their works and some projects L-Corp was about to launch, something that Kara was definitely going to cover with every detail, getting Cat-Co all the exclusivity with a perfect article about the amazing brain her friend had. The one she loved so much, like every other quality she had, ones she could spend days talking about.

“I feel like my breasts could explode at any moment” the Luthor confessed, “and you know what’s weirder?”

“You can’t squat without losing balance?” Julie asked, “because, honestly, it feels like I have labyrinthitis.”

“My nipples are bigger,” Lena said and Kara choked on the gelato she was having, coughing hard “God, Kara, slow down,” she said worriedly, not understanding the real reason behind that.

“Have some water” Julie offered and Kara promptly accept, still unable to form a proper sentence.

“Do you feel better?” Lena caressed her back, staring at her so intensely Kara had no choice but to get up.

“Y-yeah… I, er… just need...more ice cream” she smiled and grabbed her pot “ice cream, yes.”

“Of course” her friend smiled “go ahead.”

Kara walked towards the table and gave her another huge spoon of chocolate ice cream, feeling her mouth water and the ghost taste of it on her lips. There was nothing cooler than to eat a cold thing while it was cold. Sure, Eliza always used to say ice cream in winter could get them sick, but Kara knew her alien DNA wouldn’t let her be sick, so she took advantage of it. Though she would hold back sometimes, if Alex wasn’t allowed to eat something, she wouldn’t do it in front of her.

“Lost around so many women?” Emily approached her, grabbing another gluten-free sandwich.

“Hmm? Me?” Kara questioned with her mouth full “what did you say?” the other woman laughed.

“You truly are sweet no wonder your wife fell in love with this woman child” she joked.

“My… wife?” Once again, Kara’s brain took a while to process.

“Yes, Lana, right?” now the hero could feel the poison from the other woman’s mouth and she reacted quickly.

“It’s Lena,” she corrected, “why don’t you bring someone to the lessons?”

“I prefer to deal with the reality that I am going to be a single mother” Emily explained “finding the right woman is hard but it can happen at any minute” she smirked.

Across the yard, Julie observed the woman’s proximity to Kara and turned to her friend fast.

“Lena, look who’s bothering again” she commented under her breath “doesn’t she get tired of being so annoyingly perfect?”

“She annoys me even when she’s standing still in a corner” Ramona frowned “probably my hormones.”

“If I go there I won’t be able to blame my hormones” Lena answered, sensing the feeling of anger and weight in her chest. Who did that woman think she was? Why was she so insistent on talking to her wife… er, friend?

Fucking hell!

“Well, I’d like to see it” Julie provoked “are you really going to let her get so close to Kara?”

“No, I will not” Lena got up and crossed the small yard, walking toward the table but keeping enough distance to listen to the conversation.

Lena wasn’t sure if Kara had seen her or not but she could clearly notice how uncomfortable her friend was. Okay, she stopped to ratiocinate what was she doing? Her friend was nothing more than that: a friend. Then why was she scared of losing her like that? Besides, Lena had no idea if Kara was interested in women in that what, not even if she had even kissed one in her life. Then, why did she have a need to protect what was hers, if the blonde was never really hers?

She didn’t want to think about that now, she was going to do something she’d probably regret and then blame it on the hormones. Right.

“I noticed you’re pretty good with your hands?” Emily complimented.

“Yeah… guess I am” the kryptonian answered awkwardly.

“You could show that massage one day, you know” Emily stepped even closer and Lena lost her breath so suddenly she almost choked “as I said, I’m always alone and things start to get complicated by the seventh month.”

“It would be nice, I think,” she said uncertainly, “I can show you how it’s done on Lena” the Luthor almost laughed at the conversation. Of course, Kara was going to mention her, and her heart resounded with pride.

“Oh, sure” Emily sighed “I had another way in mind…”

“I don’t get it” Kara fixed her glasses, frowning “what other way?”

“Doesn’t matter. You like ice cream” the woman asked, “you know, chocolate is my favorite flavor.”

“Uhum” Kara nodded, with her mouth full, cleaning her lips with her tongue and immediately swallowing another spoon. Emily couldn’t help but notice every detail of the action and she smiled delicately.

“Do you want to taste some of mine?” and that was too much. Lena watched as the woman lift her spoon to offer the ice cream to her mouth.

On her best friend’s mouth.

“Darling, took you long enough” Lena stood next to her and place her arms possessively around her waist, feeling her body relax “am I interrupting something?”

“Of course not” Kara answered, glad to see her and oblivious to the tension between the two women: I was about to head back but Emily came to talk.”
“Talk, sure,” she said sarcastically and her eyes weighted on the woman, turning to a darker tone “may I know what it was about?”

“She wanted me to taste her ice cream” Kara explained “but I think it’s the same flavor as mine, so what’s the difference?” she frowned, which made her face so adorable Lena was almost distracted from her objective.

“Is that so?” Lena went back to staring at the woman. Emily averted her eyes, looking for an excuse to get out of there.

But Lena put a bit of chocolate ice cream to herself, even though she was satisfied. However, she was not going to let that woman get away with it. No, she was tired of it and was not going to lose her best friend to Mrs. Perfect there. She turned to Kara again and ate a spoon of ice cream.

“Do you want to taste the difference?” she asked Kara, who was still confused.

“Yes?” Kara answered hesitantly, that situation was so confusing and all she wanted was to have her dessert in peace.

“I’ll show you.”

The space between their bodies diminished and Kara felt her heart escape her chest. What was Lena doing? But, even with the nervousness and confusion, Kara desired that proximity, she wanted to be looked at with an intensity that could go through her soul. And that was what happened, and it happened so quickly she barely had time to process. Lena put one hand on her cheeks and her cold, chocolate-flavored lips touched her. Sweet as ever. Soft like nothing she had ever tasted.

Kara froze, unsure of how to react or proceed. She forgot how to breathe, how to think, and even how to kiss. Rao! Lena was really kissing her.

 

Rao!

The flavor was actually different and now she understood why. And it had nothing to do with chocolate.

When she thought about kissing her back, the floor trembled and her sensible hearing captured the sound ten times more intense, making her pull back in fear. The couples quickly held each other, trying to find the nearest way out and running around in panic. The attack hadn’t happened at Zara’s academy or store, but it was close. And Kara desperately wanted to get Lena out of there and assure her family’s safety. How was she going to do that without raising any suspicion?

“Lena, I’m going to get you out of here,” she said, hearing another explosion, not that far away “I need you to trust me and do as I say, okay?”

“Okay?” she agreed, terrified, one hand holding Seedy and another touching Kara.

They walked back inside as Kara dialed her sister's number and got Lena somewhere to sit and water to drink.

“Kara, what are you doing?”

“You need to calm down first, this much stress won’t be good for the baby” she ordered.

“I need to leave, I need to get her out of here!” Lena almost shouted. Zara tried to close the store in a rush, while people ran to their cars.

Once again, the ground trembled.

“Kara!”

“Trust me, I need signal” she lied “I’ll be right back.”

She ran to the backyard again and Alex finally answered.

“Alex I need you to take Lena from here and get her home safe,” she said “I can’t leave her here alone”

“We’re on our way, but I don’t think it will be safe to get her back to the apartment” Alex explained, panting, she was probably running “the center is chaotic and this attack doesn’t look like a coincidence.”

“Okay, take her to the DEO, but don’t let anyone lay a finger on her” she was dry “are you close?”

“Around the corner, you’ll hear the helicopter.”

And so Kara heard the familiar sound above her head, she ran back to the waiting room, finding Lena with teary eyes, holding her stomach protectively tight. Kara felt horrible for not being able to just fly her away from here. She wanted to tell Len she wouldn't let anyone hurt her, that nothing would harm her, that they would have to go over her dead body to lay a finger on the Luthor. The longer Kara thought about the danger they were in, the more her heart raced and her body felt like it was actually covered in steel, prepared to face everyone and everything to make sure Lena would be safe.

“Alex called me, she said she’s coming” Kara explained, helping the other woman on her feet, “she told me it’s some FBI job, so I need you to go with her while I’ll go with the helicopter on the back.”
“No, Kara no!” Lena grabbed her tight, holding a scared sob “what if you don’t make it?”

“Don’t worry about me, take Seedy out of here and be safe” she smiled, though her heart begged her to cry “Alex assured me your safety and told me she has to take you.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know” Kara opened the door and they ran to the street “just trust me, trust her, okay?’ Lena nodded and soon spotted Alex coming around the corner.

“Promise me you will be fine” Lena stared at her intensely and Kara held her look. Then suddenly, Kara kissed her, doing what she should have done earlier.

“I promise you, now go!”

Still feeling her chest compress with a bad feeling, Kara watched her friend run towards her sister, and then they were lost in the crowd. She couldn’t put words to what she was feeling, she didn’t know what her friendship was going to be now, but fear and anxiety grew inside her, a very bad feeling took over her body. And she didn’t want to find out what it stood for.

 

***

 

“Feeling better?” Alex walked into the small DEO room, carrying the snacks she had bought for Lena. Orders from her little sister “want anything?” she sat beside the bed and watched the other woman facing the ceiling, lost in her thoughts “Lena?”

“Yeah” she answered, sitting up “yes, I’d like something.”

“And what would that be?” Alex arched an eyebrow.

“There’s something strange happening to me, look” she reached for the plastic knife on the cupboard and turned to face the redhead. She tried to cut her palm, noticing the other woman’s eyes widen “now…” she showed her hand, and there was nothing. Not one trace of blood.

“This is…”

“Interesting, I know” Lena frowned “but it isn’t just this. I am constantly nauseated around specific people, like the child can sense who they are or if they can hurt me or if she’s just… jealous…” Lena sighed, finding that conversation ridiculous “I know it’s bizarre to say it out loud, but I couldn’t even take the blood samples because all needles broke when I tried to.”

They sighed simultaneously.

“And what do you want me to do?” Alex asked.

“I know you have a medical degree and I know you’re smarter than you look” Lena pointed out “I need you to help me take these exams, to make sure my…” she hesitated. Her eyes fell to her belly and her hands touched the fabric covering it, feeling the warmness it emanated “make sure my daughter is okay.”

“You know Supergirl doesn’t want anyone laying a single finger on you, right?” Alex smiled. Her sister was such a mama bear.

“I know and understand her reasons, but it’s my decision to make '' Lena practically begged, “there’s no reason for being four more months in the dark.”

“Okay, but any consequences will be your job to deal with, also you’re the one dealing with an angry superhero afterward” Alex pointed at her “okay?”

“Fine, let’s just do this before she comes…”

“Who?” a blonde woman suddenly appeared by the door, hair falling in perfect waves, body in its perfect shape “who are you talking about? Are you okay? Feeling better? Are you hurt?” she walked towards the CEO and analyzed every inch of her body, looking for any signs of hurt.

“Lena is fine” Alex assured, “but she had something she’d like to tell you.”

“Alex!” Lena turned to the agent furiously, “I thought you were my friend.”

“I’m just preventing the worst, Luthor” she teased “now stop being a baby, it wouldn’t look good in your evil curriculum.”

“Being a gossip girl won’t look good in your DEO curriculum” Lena grumbled, and sighed stubbornly, feeling the hero’s eyes on herself “okay, I asked Alex to run the medical exams on me because they didn’t quite… work.”

“What?” Supergirl's voice shook “you… how? What exams?”

“All of them” she confessed, “no needle or any sharp object can penetrate my skin ever since I got pregnant.”

Rao, that took Kara by surprise.

“I don’t want the DEO to have access to your blood…” Supergirl mumbled, “maybe we can do it some other way…”

“And what way do you suggest?” Lena crossed her arms and got up to face the hero, who didn’t answer “that’s what I thought. Would rather only find out if your daughter has some problem that we only find out when it’s too late?”

“What? No! Of course not!” she threw her hands in the air “I just… I don't want her to be treated… like some sort of experiment of a scientific project.”

“And you are going to make sure that doesn’t happen.” Alex stepped in “The same goes for me. I promise to keep it all in secrecy, okay?”

“Right” Supergirl, sighed, still bothered by the idea “how do you suggest we do these tests?”

 

The trio walked through the hallway, Alex guiding them to the lab and pointing a chair for Lena to sit. The agent couldn’t say she exactly knew what she was doing, but she did love a challenge and, when she paused to ratiocinate, it was the first time Alex was actually involved in the whole pregnancy situation during those five months. It never came to her that she was going to be an aunt because Kara rarely spoke about children, especially after they found out she wasn’t able to have them. Sure, she could become an aunt-in-law if her future wife had any nephews, but Maggie didn’t even have siblings. So it was a closed situation.

But Seedy was her niece and was going to be so loved if she stayed with her biological family. When Alex considered the possibility, her chest swelled with love, and her eyes were filled with tears: a little girl calling her auntie. So Alex took it personally to not let Lena doubt her capacities as a mother because she already was one and Alex would be devastated to lose another person in her family.

“Well, I need to make this protection that Lena got, disappear” Alex explained “I thought kryptonite might weaken her, perhaps. After all, this child also has your alien genes.”

“Absolutely not!” The superhero intervened “you’re not putting my daughter through any pain!” She was decided. Lena felt her body tremble with the strength and intensity of the way Supergirl pronounced ‘my daughter’.

“We don’t have any other options!” Alex pleaded “I can manage the dosage just like we do at the training room. It won’t hurt her.

“How can you be sure, Alex?” but Supergirl stood her ground “she’s just a baby!”

“What are those lamps?” Lena asked randomly, walking around the lab paying little to no attention to the discussion since they decided to ignore her.

“These are yellow lamps, they forge our Sun’s light and help Supergirl recover after more serious wounds” Alex explained.

“But wasn’t Krypton ruled by a red sun?” Lena wondered again, seeing the other woman smile. Yeah, she knew where this was going “theoretically speaking, Supergirl wouldn’t have her powers with it, would she?”

“How do you know this?” Supergirl crossed her arms and frowned, making Lena notice Kara and the hero had the same habit of wrinkling their nose when looking for answers.

“I’m a Luthor, I have my sources.”

“You don't sound friendly, right?” Alex smirked, “sounds more like a maniac trying to murder the city’s hero by founding out their weaknesses.”

“Every Luthor learns how to kill a Super, it’s a kindergarten subject” Lena enjoyed the dark humor “and no, I didn’t hack any secret system or something, I just googled it.”

“Fuck, Winn!” Alex sighed. She had told him a million times not to post that information online “anyway, I’m going to find us some of those lamps, I think they’re stashed in the deposit.”

“Very smart of you, Danvers,” Lena teased, smirking.

“What would I be without you, Luthor?” Alex winked, leaving a very confused Supergirl, curious about that interaction.

As she returned, Alex took off the normal lamps from the lab and put the red one in, knowing the baby wasn’t going to be the only one feeling weak. Lena also noticed the way Supergirl's figure changed, the way her posture, so strong and intimidating before, now looked human. So human that reminded Lena of someone. But the Luthor dropped that thought, burying that idea deep inside her mind. Weirdly, she felt vulnerable too, like some part of her vital strength was slipping away from her body and the rest of it was rushing to her womb.

“How are you feeling?” Alex asked, concerned, seeing her breathing difficulty.

“I feel this weird pressure in my chest, it’s like…”

“Your strength is gone” Supergirl finished the thought, staring at Lena with understanding eyes “it’s probably more intense for you since you’re human, but the baby feels it too and your body must be seeking help.”

“Let’s get this over with, then” Alex took the syringes and with absurd precision, took all the blood samples required.

Gradually, Lena noticed the way her pressure was dropping and the way her body was becoming numb. She never thought Supergirl could be weak or that something like the Red Sun could erase her powers like that. Everything she found out about the Super only made Lena's curiosity and need for more information grow. After all, that was going to be little Seedy’s reality and she didn’t want her to suffer or to be vulnerable to any dangerous exposition like that.

“There.” Alex was done and quickly turned the lights off. Both Lena and Supergirl suspired with relief “do you need some time?”

“Where did you take your sister?” Lena suddenly asked "she told me you would keep her safe but Kara doesn’t know about the DEO. What did you tell her?”

“I took her out of there” Supergirl lied, again, making her feel worse “I told her the FBI had to call me so I took her out of the helicopter and dropped her off at your place.”

“I don’t like keeping things from her, Kara is my best friend” Lena admitted to Alex, not noticing the way Supergirl’s body was tense.

“I’m going to tell her the truth, don’t worry” Alex stepped in fast, watching her sister carefully “she will know in time.”

“And was she okay?” Lena changed the subject again “was Kara safe?”

“Yes, I made sure she was safe” the kryptonian answered “I have to go, J’onn asked me to patrol the city before calling the day” Supergirl walked to the door, only turning around to see her friend casually chatting with her sister “be safe, miss Luthor, and take care.”

“Will do.”

 

***

 

The way home was quiet, even Lena’s thoughts were drowning in the silence. So many things happened in just one day that she was still trying to process it all. The class, the was Kara’s hands massaged her back, the fear of another person conquering the woman Lena had learned to love, the realization that Kara could fall in love with anyone. Anyone but her. However, what did that kiss mean? What was Kara trying to tell her when she kissed her before running off? And what was Lena thinking when she kissed Kara before that?

God! What if Kara didn’t want to see her ever again? What if she was scared of that action and decided to pull back?

 

Lena was content with the idea of being and just having her best friend, it wasn’t a bad thing and it didn’t hurt her. To be just friends was a hundred times better than not having her around. So why did she risk it? Why feel that ache in her chest when Lena knew Kara didn’t feel it too? Quiet tears streamed down her face, carrying her doubts and fears down her cheeks. She had so many questions, yet she feared so many answers. Lena wasn’t sure if she wanted them if she could handle being rejected once in for all. With other women, it didn’t hurt her, to be honest, Lena was actually glad to see them leave. But Kara?

Lena couldn’t handle it.

“Agnes?” Lena walked into her apartment and quickly noticed the lights were off, though the Luthor knew she had left them on when she left that morning “Agnes, I’m home!” She called again. That was when she noticed the stranger aura in the air and a figure facing her in the dark.

“Don’t worry, she is fine” a too-familiar voice cut through the tension “I locked her in the last room, the one full of children things.”

“Mother? What… what did you do to her? Lena tried to run to her dog but a pair of strong her grabbed her arms brutally, making the skin reddened and ache “let go of me! What do you think you’re doing?” Lena faced Lilian again.

“No, no, no” Lilian shook her head lightly “I’m the one needing answers and you’re going to give me all of them.”

“Really? How?” Lena grimaced, trying to keep her posture.

“It can be the easy way or the hard way, the choice is yours.”

“Where are you taking me?” she sighed, trying to get away from the two men holding her in place.

“Good girl” Lilian smiled in the dark “don’t worry, Lena” she walked to her daughter and touched her face fake nicety “I’m not going to hurt you but I can’t allow your mistakes to get in my way.”

The last thing Lena saw was her apartment door close behind her as her despair grew exponentially in her chest. She gave up on trying to escape, knowing it would be useless to try to fight her mother in that situation. Lena accepted that whatever happened, the priority was to protect the life inside of her.

Chapter 11: Stronger Together

Notes:

No! I'm not abandoning you at the cliffhanger!
Enjoy this chapter
Don't forget to leave kudos and comments!
I love you all

Chapter Text

The sun had already set on the horizon, giving its place to the dark starry blue night, and Kara adored those bright dots. They made her feel closer to home. While she was patrolling the city, Kara decided to turn off her attention to the sounds and focus solely on her heartbeat. And it was beating out of time. Desperate, panicking. When exactly did her life begin to fall apart? At what moment had she lost control? She didn’t know. Truth was that, even though she was the quirky reporter that enjoyed surprises and didn’t like weights on her shoulders, Kara still preferred to keep a balance. It was safer this way, less frightening.

Five months ago, Kara would have never guessed this is where she’d find herself at. Just like two years ago she wouldn’t dream of being a symbol of strength, justice, and bravery for the city she loved and called home. Things change, people, actions, opinions, and even though Kara wasn’t a big fan of changes, some surprised her for the best. In two years she learned more about herself, about her emotions - although she was still trying to figure out how to deal with them -, she figured out her destiny, had to say goodbye to people she cared about, and welcoming in new friends. She learned more about her sister and helped her accept who she was, who she is. Those were good moments, unforgettable ones.

But changes always have two polarizing sides: positive and negative. Changes can be good or bad, it just depends on how you view them. In the last two years, getting to know Lena Luthor was what changed Kara’s life the most, it was her greatest incognito. She had lost count of how many times Kara defended her, saved her, watched her smile because she had a Super that supported her and that her best friend Kara Danvers had all the faith in the world in her. To have her in her life was more than Kara ever asked Rao for. Lena was caring, comprehensive, dedicated, and capable to move mountains for those she loved. Though Lena didn’t notice her own qualities, Kara made sure to have them safely kept in her heart, so if Lena ever doubted them, she would be the first one to make her remember.

 

‘Supergirl might have saved me, but Kara Danvers, you are my hero.’

 

Those words still echoed loud in her head, going all the way down her heart and making it ache. Who would have thought that a simple reporter like her, ordinary, common, completely normal - apart from the fact she was an alien - was a hero? She didn’t understand why Lena kept choosing Kara over Supergirl. She was the girl of steel, with superhuman powers, extraordinary abilities and so many other qualities that, from the eyes of other people, were miracles. But then, why did Lena think the shy girl with glasses was the real hero?

Well, Kara didn’t have an answer to that question, but for her poor heart, Lena Luthor was her hero. Even if the CEO couldn’t fly or break an entire building with just one hand. Even she didn’t notice her own charisma and emotional strength. Even though she was just human. Lena was her definition of a hero.

“Thank God, you’re back, where were you?” Alex questioned Kara as soon as she walked into the locker room “You don't look well” she said while putting the rest of her things inside her locker “c’mon, tell me.”

Kara sighed and sat on the small wooden bench, behind her sister.

“I… well…” she dwelled on her next words “I kissed Lena,” Kara said fast, making Alex drop everything she was holding on the floor.

“You… I… wait, you what?” the redhead turned to look at her sister.

“Actually, uh… she kissed me first and I… I wasn’t even expecting it, Alex!” Kara complained, “I was just enjoying my ice cream, which was delicious by the way and then Emily showed up and then Lena came and they talked about tasting ice cream flavors but they were all the same flavor and I was so confused…”

“Kara, focus!” Alex held her hands, interrupting them rambling “I didn’t understand a thing you just said.”

“Okay, sorry” she took a deep breath “Lena kissed me first and then…”

“You kissed her, yeah, I saw that” Alex smiled “so why are you freaking out” she sat down next to her “yeah, it took some time to happen, so much time I thought it might never happen.”

“Believe me, I didn’t think it was going to happen either” Kara fidgeted with her cape “but it did happen, and… I… I don’t know what to feel.”

“Do you feel bad?” Alex asked tenderly.

“No, I… I liked kissing her” she confessed, feeling her face burn “but it isn’t fair, Alex. I can’t do this to her, I can’t drag her into this mess of a life…I can’t…”

“What exactly, can’t you?” Alex held her hands tighter, trying to give her some kind of comfort.

“I can’t get involved with her and keep hiding my real identity” Kara lowered her head “it’s not fair, Lena deserves someone who is honest with her, someone who isn’t… like me” Alex could feel the pain within every word and she was not about to let her sister follow that line of thought.

“Kara, you pay attention to what I’m about to tell you” Alex looked deeply into her sister’s ocean eyes “did you ever notice how similar you and Lena are?”

“What?”

“Right now, I’m sure Lena is overthinking the same exact things as you. That she doesn’t deserve someone like you, that her best friend could do better and that she isn’t the right one.” Alex continued “ because you love each other so much you’re always putting one another over yourselves and that isn’t always a good thing Kara” she smiled “I may not know her as well as you go but the light I see in your eyes is the same I see in hers and if you two don’t deal with it the right way, you’ll miss a great opportunity for happiness” Kara frowned, trying to hold back tears “I know it can be scary, trust me, I’ve been there. If this had happened five months ago I’d tell you to give a lot of thought to it. But now you’re going to be a mother and Lena will be the other parent of this child.”

“She is going to be such a great mother, Alex” Kara whispered “I don’t want her to give up on our baby…”

“So keep doing your best” the redhead kept going “you can always believe Lena deserves someone better, but she doesn’t want someone better, Kara. She wants you, and do you know why?” the hero shook her head “because you were the first one to believe in her when no one else would. Because you made her feel valid, feel like a woman deserving of love, of friendship, and not just suspicion because she is a Luthor. I know that beginning a relationship, whether it’s romantic or not, based on a lie, is not good” Kara laughed drily “but once you tell her the truth, you can keep on being honest with her.”

“I’m scared of telling the truth and then everything changes” Kara stopped fighting the tears “with her, I can be only human, I don’t need to be the best, to be the hero. I’m just Kara Danvers, the reporter, her best friend. The only other person I feel this with is you, Alex, and it still took us a while to come to that'' her sister listened to it all carefully “But when Lena learns the truth, she’ll see the weight that I… and I… I don’t want to deal with this again. She’ll only see this orphan girl, abandoned by her parents and by the only person that shares her blood” Kara referred to Kal-El aware that Alex understood how much it pained her to not have her cousin by her side “have you ever loved someone so much that you can’t breathe? Because when I think that I can endanger her, that my secret identity is enough reason put her at risk…”

“Lena would never see you like that'' Alex denied “and she deserves to know your story, just like you’ll learn more about hers over time. But this will only happen if you allow it to and stop your fears from making a family” she sighed “answer me this: if you had the chance to go back and save your planet, would you do it? Would you save your family?”

“Of course I would, I’d do anything for them” Kara answered without hesitation.

“Then why won’t you do the same for the family you have now?” Alex was ruthless and Kara went quiet, she had never looked at things in that way “Lena, your daughter, me and your friends, we are your family. But Lena and this kid are now part of you, that baby is your blood and you’re not alone anymore. Clark may have left you behind, may have made you think you’re the only kryptonian left on Earth, but that’s not true anymore” Alex smiled “Fight for your family before you regret everything you could have done but didn’t. Being scared isn’t just human, Kara, it’s normal.”
“Do you think… I should try?” she asked, slowly.

“Well, if I don't then I might give it a try” Alex teased “Lena is pretty and I can be a wonderful mother too…”

“Alex!” Kara tried to contain a laugh “I’m anxious what if… what if I mess up? Rao! What if she doesn’t…”

“Lena will love whatever you do, so relax” Alex got up “let’s go home, Eliza is waiting for us and you owe me one.” She picked the rest of her things out of the floor and closed her locker.

“I couldn’t miss the class” Kara argued, “what kind of mother would I be if I did?”

“The ‘I should kiss my sister’s foot’ one” Alex retorted, making Kara roll her eyes “do you know how many times I had to dodge the marriage subject?”

“Rao… I don’t even know how I’m going to tell her…” Kara laid on the bench, taking her title as a drama queen “if she grounds me, how will I go to the classes?” Alex snorted.

“You were grounded just once, Kara” she laughed “and we’re adults, we don’t get grounded anymore.”

“Sorry to interrupt” Winn suddenly appeared on the door, panting, with his eyes closed “I everyone’s clothes, may I open?”

“What happened?” Kara asked, “opened your eyes, nobody’s naked.”

“Uh, good” he looked at them “we have a red alert on the screen and I think it’s… one of those problems.”

“Why didn’t anyone warn me of this?” Alex shouted, grabbing her things once again “where is J’onn?”

“We are impatiently waiting and Kara…” he turned to the hero with a concerned look.

“Winn, what happened?” Supergirl’s muscles tensed and her body trembled “Winn, who is in danger?”

“Lena” he almost whispered, “please, Kara, we need a plan before…”

But it was too late. Supergirl disappeared from the room and they heard the sound barrier being broken, alongside every breakable object around her.

 

***

 

Something was dripping, not very far away, or maybe her conscience was playing with her hearing. But Lena was able to estimate the distance traveled by the sound, the liquid’s flow rate, and perhaps even its velocity until it hit the ground. That was the way her brain reacted to times of fear and unsafeness, the way Lena escaped more destructive thoughts that scared her to death. However, it wasn’t always effective, Lena didn’t know how much time had passed since she was brought there or since she was taken from home, maybe one hour, maybe many more.

Agnes. How was the dog? How long was she alone now? How many hours of sleep did Lena have? And why did that place smell of rust?

She had so many questions. And no one to give her an answer. As she opened her eyes, Lena was blinded by a bright yellow light over her and realized her wrists were cuffed to the sides of the stretcher she was lying on. It took some seconds for her sight to come back and Lena inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying not to panic. While she was in a car, although she was blindfolded, Lena memorized every turn the car took and somewhat knew how long the ride lasted. It was far, she was hiding somewhere away from the city.

Lena also noticed metal tables beside her, with some broken needles and smashed scalpels. Suddenly, despair grew in her chest, and Lena looked down at her belly, still covered by the shirt Kara had given her, and breathed, relieved, as the elevation in her stomach was still there. Okay, Lena breathed, no panicking, calm down.

That was when she heard heavy breathing coming from behind her.

“You might want to begin explaining to me, why I suddenly can’t take blood samples from you” Lilian’s voice echoed and her skin shivered “It must be very interesting since, if I remember correctly, you were human some times ago” she laughed with disgust “fragile, humanly broken.”

“I should have known you would bring me here to impose your choices on me and not ask questions you’re curious about” Lena spat the words, trying to break her hands free “why did you cuff me? How long was I out?”

“Be calm” Lilian walked to the bed “it was just forty minutes and nothing I did worked” she confessed, “but it did help me analyze thoroughly what might have happened.”

“Oh, do tell me what you think you figured out” Lena tried to look confident, moving her body in a failed attempt to get away from her mother “since conversing normally is something you don’t know how to do.”

“Much on the contrary daughter, conversing is one of my best skills, though I admit I lack patience when it comes to your empty threats and persuasions” Lilian was ruthless “I just took a shortcut.”

“Are you going to tell me what conclusions you came to or not? Or are you going to keep me here longer?” she asked impatiently.

“I don’t know what your thoughts on my work are, but you should know by now that I know how to recognize precisely what problems I am dealing with. Always.” Lilian stepped away from the stretcher and took one of the broken scalpels in her hand “For years I have tried to understand Superman’s DNA, your brother helped me with it. Years and years, Lena not mere weeks or months. Years” she sighed “I may not have discovered everything I wanted to but…” she turned to her daughter, pressing the sharp blade on her arm “I know a skin of steel when I see it.”

Lena’s heart stopped, and in a couple of seconds, all her emotions became pure fear. Lilian knew the truth or at least part of it. Her eyes widened but she couldn’t stop looking at her mother, letting all her fright be known through the green irises.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Lena denies stubbornly, trying to buy some time.

“Oh, Lena, you’re smarter than that!” Lilian retorted “I tried to take your blood sample and no blade was sharp enough to even hurt one inch of your skin, your body is protecting you. Which leads me to the conclusion that this child isn’t human” Lena looked away, confirming her mother's suspicions “now I just need to prove my point.”

“What are you going to do?” Lena’s voice was trembling, showing she had crossed her emotional limits.

“There is only one thing capable of hurting a kryptonian.” the woman whispered, opening a dark suitcase, letting a neon green light escape.

Lena felt acid going up to her throat.

 

***

 

‘Kara where are you?’

Supergirl heard her sister's voice through the hearing gadget again but didn’t answer. Again. She had searched the city from north to south, west to east, incessantly trying to find her best friend. She could taste the bitter taste of despair in her tongue and her heart was barely keeping up with the speed. The hero ignored every call from Winn and didn’t stop to hear J’onn’s plan of rescue. At those moments, the brain reacts first but it is flooded with emotions that blind. That’s where the danger is.

Kara was blaming herself, letting the guilty smash her chest with absurd strength, violently taking her breath. She should have protected Lena, she should have known Lilian would come back, looking for her. She should have predicted this, she would have if she wasn’t caught thinking of other idiotic things. Guilt. That was precisely one of the reasons Supergirl was scared of telling Lena the truth. Fear of not getting there in time one day, of losing the parts of herself she had given her best friend through the years. Fear of losing her family again, in a blink of an eye, and not being able to stop it.

‘Please, answer me! You can’t do this without thinking!

“Alex, I can’t hear her” Supergirl meant the Luthor’s heartbeat “I can’t hear either of them.”

“Come back to the DEO, let me help you, please don’t do anything stupid.”

“There’s no time” she increased her speed “did Winn get anything?”

“We got a false signal and now…” Alex stopped for a moment “we got her! There’s a kryptonite signal just outside the city, heading northwest. There’s interference but we have a location.”

“Tell me the exact location,” Kara ordered.

“No, you can’t go alone, Kara. Do you hear me?”

“Alex, either you tell me or not, I am going,” Supergirl said, “but if you tell me, I’ll get there faster.”

“I’ll tell you but under one condition”

“I can’t promise anything…”

“Then I’m not telling you.”

“Alex! This isn’t the time for games!” Supergirl yelled.

“My team and I are heading to the place, but you have to promise me you’re sole focus there is Lena. You take her out of there as fast as you can and don’t come back. I don’t want either of you getting hurt!”

“Okay, I promise, now give me the coordinates.”

 

***

 

The electric shock that ran through her body could cut her member in half. Lena pulled the cuffs hard, feeling her wrist burn, but no harm was made. Not a single cut or red mark. She was grateful for it but at the same time, it only made her more desperate. Lilian held the cylinder with the kryptonite carefully, smiling maliciously at it and taking one part of it into her hands.

“The more you move the more this will hurt,” Lilian said in a sickening playful tone.

“No, no, mother, please no!” she begged, her cheeks wet with tears “she’s just a baby!”

“She?” the woman raised an eyebrow, stepping closer to her daughter “so it’s an alien baby girl?”

“Please, I’ll answer whatever you want, do whatever you want” Lena cried “don’t put that on me. She’ll feel pain, please don’t do this…”

“I need your blood, Lena” Lilian snapped at her “and I can’t get it while this still is strong enough to protect you.”

“No! Please don’t!”

Lena watched and squirmed as the green object touch her stomach and that’s when she exploded. It was like there was no noise around her but at the same time, her hearing was so sensitive that an insect flapping its wind could make her deaf. Her strength was strong enough to rip her veins apart, cut her insides and make her break through the walls. Pulling on the iron cuffs, Lena screamed louder than she ever had and broke free. The echo of her terror and despair cause every object in the room to fly away, breaking every glass around her.

Lilian was thrown by the impact, alongside the two masked men that ran into the room before the explosion happened. The tabled were on the floor, everything was a mess, and Lena stayed still on the stretcher, with her eyes fixed on the wall and sweat dripping from her forehead. Confusion and fear exhaled off of her, Lena didn’t know what had just happened, what she had just done.

Before she could process it all, giant concrete blocks fell on one of the men while the other back away quickly. An immense hole in the ceiling suddenly appear and flying through it, a familiar image landed. Red cape, blue uniform. Moments later, other DEO agents climbed down the walls and spread through the area

“I’m getting you out of here!” the hero’s voice warned her but Lena was still paralyzed by the shock to answer or simply nod “can you hear me?” their eyes met but Lena didn’t say a thing “Lena, I need you to nod if you’re listening to me,” Supergirl asked twice, on the ladder, Lena gave a weak nod “okay, hold on tight.”

Feeling a bit weak by the kryptonite radioactivity away from them, Supergirl left where she came and flew away, as fast as she could, relieved for getting there in time. But she knew Lena wasn’t well, her eyes warned her and her heart was beating too fast for any logical thinking at the moment. Lena’s arms were tight around her neck and that was enough for the hero to know that they were safe.

 

***

 

Supergirl landed on the Luthor’s balcony, still carrying Lena. With her fist, she broke the lock and walked into the house, heading directly to Lena’s room, letting the familiar smell of her friend’s perfume invade her lungs.

“Lena, can you still hear me?” the Luthor turned to her with empty eyes “I’m going to put in bed” Supergirl warned as she laid the body onto the mattress “I need you to talk to me, please.”

“I… I-I’m okay” she whispered quietly “I’m gonna be okay.” Lena breathed out and Kara felt her body relax as she heard her voice.

“I need to go back to the DEO” she lied “Kara is on her way, I’m going to leave the door open.”

Once again Lena stayed quiet and only nodded lightly, trying a weak smile.

In a few minutes, the CEO heard the door being carefully closed and a blonde figure, wearing glasses and simple clothes appeared by the bedroom door. Kara looked broken and her eyes were lost in the sight of her friend. Before any of them said anything, the sound of nails scratching wood filled the quiet, and then Lena remembered Agnes. She got up quickly to free the dog from the last room. Kara stood still, watching the Luthor run through the hall, and heard happy barks.

“Hello, my love” Lena kneeled and let the dog lick her face “are you okay? Hm” I know…” she patted her ears and gave her a gentle kiss on the nose “I know, I missed you too” she whispered, and then Agnes ran to Kara, circling her legs excitedly.

“I missed you too, Agnes” Kara got down and hugged the dog, shooting her eyes to the side to look at Lena.

She let Agnes run to the living room and the two women looked at each other, both unsure of what to say. Lena tried to keep a strong, imponent figure but she looked as if she was going to fall apart. Her hands were shaking and her legs struggled to carry the weight of her body, and when she tried to stand up, they gave in but her best friend's arms caught her in time. Giving her the safety she needed to crumble.

An anguishing sob escaped her lips, one she was keeping inside since she woke up at the Cadmus hangar, where her mothers looked at her and used her like she was a scientific experiment gone wrong. Lena hugged Kara tight and buried her face in her shoulder, letting the tears fall and stain the blonde’s shirt. Each breath in and out made her chest ache, the fear that her daughter was someone harmed haunted Lena’s heartbeats. Lilian had been close to causing permanent damage.

The apartment's darkness consoled the two women, and Kara allowed herself the cathartic feeling of crying too. She was controlling herself to not hold Lena too tight but the truth was, Kara wanted to hold her so tight, for so long, that they would be inseparable afterward. She let out the feelings that were suffocating and laid her head on top of Lena’s, gently stroking the long dark hair. They were her family, the family she was learning to love more and more every day and it was her duty to protect them. Kara remembered the kryptonite well, the sickening nausea hitting her body as she approached Lena, the way she almost gave in.

“You’re safe” Kara whispered, though she didn’t know if it was for Lena or for herself “it’s going to be okay…”

“S-she…” Lena hiccuped, hiding her face on Kara’s shirt “I… I al-almost… Kara…”

“I know” Kara let it escape, not caring about what she was supposed to hide or not “but it’s okay now” she hugged her closer, tighter “I was so scared of losing you…”

“I was scared of not making it” Lena whispered, afflict “I was afraid I couldn’t protect her… what if I…”

“Shhh, don’t think about it now” Kara stepped away to look at her in the dark “stay… with me, I er… I mean, in my place, please” Lena sighed, trying to process the request “I don’t want you to be alone” Kara whispered and hoped to herself Lena would say yes “I… let me take care of you…”

“Kara, I don’t want to overstep any line,” Lena said, still holding her “I don’t want to put this weight on your shoulder, I don’t want to be a burden to you.”

“You won’t, you won’t” she assured “just stay with me. I want you to be safe and… just…please” Kara was basically begging.

“Okay” Lena gave in, still hesitant “I’ll go.”

“Thank you” Kara hugged her again, inhaling every she could of her scent “can you take a shower on your own? Do you need help? Do you feel strong enough? Do you need me to do anything?” Kara spoke fast and felt her cheeks burn “er...sorry.”

“I think I can manage myself” Lena smiled “what about Agnes? I can’t leave her here.”

“Go take a shower, I’ll pack your things and hers, okay?” they stepped away from each other and both hearts complained at the small distance.

“Yeah, her leash and food are on that cupboard after the kitchen.” Lena said and as she tried to walk, the dizzyness hit her again “shit..”

“Let’s do it like this” Kara grabbed her arm for support and held her waist, helping her back to the bedroom “I’ll take you to the shower and you’ll leave the door open just in case you need anything, okay?”

“It’s not like I have any other choice” Lena sighed, tired, and let Kara help her to the suite.

After the bathtub was full of hot water and her favorite soaps, Kara left her alone, giving her the privacy to get undressed and take the long-awaited shower. Lena could still hear her friend drop some things in the kitchen with her usual clumsiness but it didn’t bother the Luthor. To be honest, having someone she knew and trusted was comforting and gave Lena enough security to try to relax. Her clothes were left on the cold ground and her skin shivering when in contact with the cold humid autumn air. She had forgotten to wear a jacket but it didn’t even occur to her.

So many changes had come with that pregnancy, however, deep inside her soul, Lena didn’t care anymore. She remembered the times she cried in front of a mirror at the sight of a body that didn’t belong to her anymore, one that was violated and now had to carry its consequences. But it wasn’t like that. Not anymore. As she looked into the mirror, all Lena could do was caress her belly and let the tear fall freely to the ground. She wished she could hear her daughter's heart now, to know if she was okay, if she was in pain or if she was exhausted like her.

Muffling a cry inside her throat, Lena got in the warm water and let it surround her body with softness, every inch of her skin thanking the contact. The sweet scent of lavender reached her nostrils, reminding Lena that she was home, away from her mother and the worst didn’t happen.

But that didn’t make Lena feel entirely safe.

“I’m so sorry, babygirl” Lena whispered, slowly washing the top of her belly. The love and tenderness were palpable “I hope you’re not feeling pain and, please, rest, okay?” she smiled between the tears “no one is going to hurt you, I promise. Trust me” she slipped her finger down her stomach and felt her baby there “I was scared too and… I thought I was going to lose you” she confessed, “mommy is here and you’re not alone.”
Lena continued to whisper tender words until she felt in her heart that her baby was okay.

“Do you like songs?” Lena asked, still lost in her thoughts but still touching her belly “the only thing I remember from my biological mother is her voice. During the first months after I was adopted, it was the only thing that would put me to sleep” she confessed, feeling stupid for sharing those things with someone that couldn’t understand her. But even though Lena was talking to herself, it felt good to say those things out loud “little by little, I forgot it, because I couldn’t be weak or vulnerable there, you know?” Lena let out a weak smile “I’m not a good singer but I do remember a song…”

And lost in the moment, Lena whispered a melody she kept in the depths of her mind, and soon she started singing it. It felt like the right thing to do like her daughter had had a tough day and now searched for comfort in her mother’s arms, for warmth, and most of all, for love. Lena never had that, she didn’t know how to comfort someone or what to do when a child is hurt. But inside of her, something was slowly coming to life, teaching her that she didn’t need a book on how to love. Kara, who had returned to the room, sat on the floor and cried as she heard the words coming from the bathroom.

‘Come stop your crying
It’ll be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight’

“I will protect you from all around” Lena sang hoarsely, feeling another one of her walls crumble to pieces “I will be here, don’t you cry…”

‘For one so small, you seem so strong
My arms will hold you, keep you warm
This bond between us can’t be broken
I will be here’

“Cause you’ll be in my heart” Kara sang quietly, but not too much so Seedy could hear her through the walls “Yes, you’ll be in my heart from this day on… now and forevermore.”

 

***

 

At half-past midnight they arrived at Kara’s apartment with an excited Agnes, running through the new space. Lena was wearing an adorable MIT sweatshirt and decided to let her hair dry on its own, giving it natural waves that fell on her back. She liked coming to Kara’s place, she felt better there than in her own apartment, though her own place was still the safest in the world for her. But, what did safety mean now? Where would she really be safe when the danger was her mother? Lena didn’t know and that lack of knowledge scared her to death.

Being with her best friend also made her hesitate, what would happen from now on? What were they doing? What did Kara really mean when she said ‘stay with me’?

God, her mind ached when Lena remembered the number of doubts and questions those five months had brought her. She tried her best to be rational when facing emotional problems, she chose to hide herself to be safe from suffering, from getting hurt, and yet, there she was, willing to pray for any divine being to take those feelings from her and make them disappear. It wasn’t fair, she couldn’t get lost in that hurricane. How was she not to lose herself?

“I’m going to order some food, okay?” Kara pulled her away from her thought, Lena wasn’t hungry, though she knew she should probably eat. Agnes had already made herself comfortable on the sofa.

“We need to talk,” Lena said suddenly, noticing Kara’s blue eyes grow darker “I... I can’t pretend everything is fine…”

“O-okay…” Kara agreed and guided them to the sofa, careful not to bother the dog. She felt her stomach twist and turn with anxiety “what… what do you want to talk about?”

“What I did earlier was a mistake” Lena confessed, facing the wall, unsure of what those words would mean to Kara “I shouldn’t have acted like that or felt what I felt. It was a mistake, Kara, and I don’t want it to get in the way of our friendship.

Silence. Kara felt her eyes fill with tears and her throat closed.

“A… m-mistake?” she whispered, trying to hide her disappointment “being with me… would be a mistake?”

“No!” Lena was quick to correct, reaching for her hands “no, it’s not that… I just…” she sighed “what I feel… is complicated and I can’t drag you to the middle of it. You deserve better, you deserve someone that is good to you, that isn’t this broken so they can treat you right.”

“How do you know what I need, Lena?” Kara questioned, turning her eyes away “How do you know… that you’re not the right person for me?” a lonely tear was shed “I like you, I like you so much and… I never had the guts to say it out loud because… because look at me” she laughed, drying her face “what am I, compared to you?”

“You… like me?” Lena asked “Kara, I thought I messed it all up, and… what do you mean? What are you compared to me?

“You can have whoever you want” Kara explained “every man on planet Earth would die for a chance so have you, every woman too” she sighed “I’m just a reporter. A simple, mediocre reporter that will never reach the level you deserve, Lena.”

“Don’t say that” Lena ordered tenderly “I’m not the best and my social status doesn’t make me unreachable. I’m pregnant, Kara, I’m not the same as I used to be. There are parts of me no one knows about, stories I will hide for as long as I can. How does that make me better than you? Besides, why do you like me? I can’t even… keep my daughter, why do you think I’m that person?

“You’re the best person to me” Kara admitted “you’re the most amazing woman I have ever met, the strongest, the most persistent. I don’t care that you’re pregnant because I want to be a part of Seedy’s life and I am sure you are going to be the best mother in the world… I just… I don’t want to be a mistake and… if that’s how you feel...|”

“No, of course not” Lena pulled her close, letting Kara lay her head on her shoulder and they moved, finding a comfortable position “you’re not a mistake, you never were, the way I acted was a mistake, Kara. I can’t do this with you, not in this simple uncaring way because you’re not just another person to me. You’re the most competent, the most loyal to truth reporter I have ever met, the one who’s not scared of exposing reality, and the one that doesn’t hide when things go wrong. Kara, the problem isn’t what you feel or who you are, it’s what I feel. I don’t know how to be loved, I don’t know how to express my feelings and I don’t know how to make this work” Lena confessed “and I’m scared of losing you inside this mess. I’m scared of not letting you in enough for you to know who I really am or letting you in knowing you will be disappointed. Because I’m not perfect

They stayed quiet. Letting the words sink in. Outside, the world was sleeping.

“I don’t know how to make it work either, Lena” Kara broke the silence “but in the future, I don’t want to look back and see I wasted my chance to at least try.”

“But what… what if we hurt each other? What if it goes wrong?” Lena looked down at their hands, intertwined fingers that fit so well, that it seemed right for them to be like that. Agnes’s heavy breathing was the only proof that this moment was real.

“Then I’m going to be there for you as your best friend” Kara weakly smiled “I made you a promise, Lena. I’m not going anywhere and I will always protect you.”

“Promise?”

“I’ll promise you a thousand times if I have to” she whispered. They stayed next to each other, listening to the soft raindrops hit the window and the air slowly getting cooler.

“Let’s not rush anything, okay?” Lena asked and Kara nodded “let’s just… take it easy, not forcing or imposing anything. No labels, dates, or situations that might confuse us. I mean… not that we can’t have dates, I just… don’t want it now or think about it now.”

“That’s fine by me” Kara agreed, but suddenly an idea hit her “if I make you an invitation, though it may seem very unusual… would you consider it?”

“Of course” Lena smiled and turned to face her. Her favorite shade of blue was there, intense and vivid, making the warmth in her chest grow. It was impossible not to fall in love with Kara Danvers, Lena knew. The question that wouldn’t leave her alone was why would someone like her best friend fall for her? Her, who was so broken, so lost “what is it?”

“Well… uh, my mother… you know? Eliza” Kara scoffed “well… she arrived at National City today and probably came to talk about thanksgiving because Alex and I always go to Midvale” she sighed, that wasn’t entirely true but it would be easier to face her mother if Lena was with her “I… I’d like to know if you’d want to come with me” Kara bit her lip, waiting for Lena to say no. Yes, she had great expectations and always wanted to bring her best friend there, to get to know the place she grew up as a teenager “you… you don’t need to say yes, just.. think about it…”

“Yes,” Lena answered calmly “if that’s okay with your mother.”

“Yeah, I understand, and… wait, really” her widened open “you.. you said yes?”

“Did you want me to say no?” Lena teased, trying not to laugh at Kara’s dumb face.

“No! Yes! I mean, no!’ she hid her face with her hands “I wanted you to say yes” Kara mumbled with embarrassment, making Lena laugh and hold her hands again.

“And that’s what I said” Lena kissed her fingers lightly and rested her face on the “now, can we please go to bed? I’m really not hungry and I don’t think eating this late is a good idea.”

“Yeah… me neither” she confessed, seeing Lena make a funny face “however weird this is” they laughed together, making Agnes look at them with tired eyes “how are you feeling? Any pain? Is Seedy okay?”

“Yeah, I think so” her hands went back to Seedy “I’ll schedule another consultation before the next ultrasound, just in case” she sighed “I hope she’s okay.”

“She is because she’s as strong as her mother” Kara put one hand on the belly room feeling the heat she emanated “do you think Seedy is sleeping now?”

“I don’t know” Lena shrugged, “talk to her, who knows…”

“Okay” Kara got further down and laid on Lena’s lap, facing her belly. Lena the blonde hair from her face, slowly caressing them and smiling at the scene “hey… I know you can hear me, so… I want you to know we were a little scared for you today” she looked at Lena, embarrassed but so happy “we’re waiting for you to move, but there’s no rush, you don’t need to do it just because we want it… but it would be wonderful to feel you, just a little bit” Kara admitted, “maybe I want it more than you mother” she chuckled.

“I think you’re right” Lena joked “babygirl, give her a chance,” she said lovingly, pulling her sweatshirt up and exposing her naked belly.

“I love you, you know that?” Kara said, charmed, closing her eyes and focusing solely on the two heartbeats she cared for “I love you as if you’re mine” she confessed, surprising Lena Kara heard both hearts race “I’m waiting anxiously for you..”

“Did you feel it?” Lena jumped and her jaw fell open

“Where?”

“Right here” Lena put her hand on the right lower stomach “keep talking.”

“Right” Kara nodded “I… I don’t know what else to say… Seedy, I really don’t know what to say but, pretty please just one…” then, a soft wave happened, pushing Kara’s fingers backward lightly “I felt it!” her smile grew bigger “Again!”

“Oh, God… I hate crying” Lena laughed, fixing her face with her arms “she moved, Kara! She's okay!

“If it keeps going like that your mom won’t handle four more months” Kara whispered and Lena snorted “we love you, Seedy.”

“Yes…” Lena agreed, amazed, letting that feeling flood every inch of her soul “we love you very much.”

Chapter 12: The Luthor of Steel

Notes:

Hello, hello!
Here's another chapter everyone
don't forget to leave kudos and comments!
Enjoy!

Chapter Text

Getting up at sunrise that morning was the hardest thing Kara ever had to do. She sighed, annoyed, trying not to listen to the sirens from afar, and threw off the blanket, seeing Agnes suspire sleepy and move to make herself more comfortable. The sweet intense perfume was all over the sheets, coming from the extraordinary woman lying next to her. Long dark hair was spread over the pillow, falling over Lena’s serene face, while her right arm covered her head and the left one touched her belly in a protective position. Kara smiled at the funny position, her friend always preferred to sleep on her stomach.

Still feeling like ignoring her Supergirl duties, Kara smiled at the image of Agnes and Lena sleeping peacefully next to each other. When had her life become so loveful? However, she couldn’t stay and soon the DEO would start calling her. Using her super speed, the hero changed clothes and softly kissed Lena in her cheeks, promising quietly she would come back. Kara whispered ‘I love you’ to Seedy and thanked Rao her daughter was okay, fighting everything in her to not touch the belly, and patted Agnes' ears who didn’t bother to open her eyes. And so she flew away, though her heart stayed in that bedroom.

The situation took more time than expected, making Kara growl as she saw the sunrise at the horizon and hope Lena would still be asleep by the time she returned. Kara had a whole plan for the morning in her head, with everything listed and the breakfast menu is chosen, now that her friend was pregnant, her appetite had doubled sizes and now Lena ate in the morning like a normal human being. What kind of person only has black coffee and cereal for breakfast? Why torture yourself like that? The point was, Kara wanted to be present for their first day as ‘something more than friends but not necessarily girlfriends’, Rao was nervous.

On her way back, Kara dropped by the bakery and had to stop to give autographs - as Supergirl she never quite understood why people asked for it but she never said no to one - and got in the apartment by the bedroom’s window. Her face lighted as she saw Lena messily covered on the blanket, hugging the pillow with her body spread all over the bed. Agnes, who was somewhat awake, got up at the sight of Kara, already dressed in normal clothes, and jumped off the bed. Kara smiled and put one finger over her lips, asking for silence, and guided the dog out of the bedroom.

“Hey, girl” Kara whispered, getting down to caress the pet “did you sleep well, hm? Do you want some breakfast?” Agnes got excited and ran to the kitchen as if she already knew the place well “there you go” she filled the pot with dog food and let the puppy feast, “now I’m gonna make your mom’s breakfast and hope she doesn't awake anytime soon” Agnes turned to Kara “don’t look at me like that, I’m nervous enough already.”

Kara sliced some fruits carefully and made the darkest coffee she could, the way Lena liked, she also scrambled some eggs and chose yogurt and french toasts to go alongside it. Her favorite part was putting the donuts in the middle of it, watching the chocolate slide down to the plate. She hoped with all her heart that Lena liked the surprise. Not that it was super romantical or that Kara was trying to be romantical, she just wanted to please Lena, to show her that she cared and that everything that happened the night before meant the world to her.

Okay, being completely honest Kara definitely wanted to impress Lena and do everything couples did in the movies she used to watch as a teenager.

Kara walked back to the bedroom and caught a glimpse of Agnes heading to the living room, she left the breakfast on the bedside table. Lena was still in the same position, possessively hugging the pillow. Kara laughed to herself and laid down next to her, moving the hair from her face and trying to move the pillow from her arms, which wasn’t easy since with every pulls Kara gave, Lena held the pillow tighter, growing. At last, after two minutes of struggling, the young Danvers won the battle and replaced the pillow with herself, around the Luthor's arm.

“Hey,” she whispered, feeling Lena hold her waist tight and hide her face in her shoulder “we’re not working today?”

“Hm, hm” Lena groaned sleepy, still not moving. Kara giggled and hugged her back, kissing the top of her head.

The two hearts were now beating in harmony, moving them to ecstasy.

“Are we sleepy?” Kara asked but there was no answer, just calm rhythmic breathing “I… brought you something” she continued, trying to get away from her arms and failing miserably “are you not going to let me go?”

“Nope” Lena answered quietly “you took my pillow, now you’re staying” she smiled over the soft skin, glad Kara couldn’t see her blushing face.

“And why were you snuggling with my pillow?” she emphasized in ‘my’, kissing Lena’s hair again and moving a hand to her belly.

“Because you disappeared this morning and it smells like you” Lena moved her body and finally raised her head to look at Kara, getting a little lost in the blue of her eyes “and I missed you.”

“I disappeared for a good reason” Kara smiled and fixed the glasses over her nose.

“I hope it’s a great reason” Lena threatened “you don’t just abandon a pregnant woman, I’m pretty sure there are laws against that.”

“I didn’t know you were so dramatic, Lena” Kara teased, seeing her roll her eyes.

“Of course you knew” she cut it “what did you bring?”

“Your favorite donuts and Seedy’s yogurt” Kara smiled proudly, moving her fingers over the exposed stomach. Lena closed her eyes, fighting everything in her not to moan and hoping Kara didn’t notice the goosebumps on her skin.

Which did not happen, the warm touch from her hand caused her immediate frenzy. Fuck. She couldn’t get turned on now.

But it was impossible. The electric feeling ran through her body before Lena could stop it, making her pupils dilate and her skin shiver. Kara was slowly moving up and down her torso, contouring her waist and circling her stomach from inside out. Fucking hell. Lena had to bite her lips to keep any sound from coming out. It had been more than five months since she had been intimate with someone and, to be honest, her belly’s since was starting to get in the way of her self-satisfaction. Her body needed the touch, the kisses, the swear dreaming down, she wanted to lose her breath. But she couldn’t. Not yet.

Get a hold of yourself, Lena thought to herself, why do things have to be like this?

“Lena?” Kara frowned the way Lena thought was extremely cute, she found it strange the way her heart started beating so fast out of nowhere “are you okay? Your cheeks… they’re, er, red” she moved her hands from the belly and moved it to her face “is everything okay?”

“Uhum” was all Lena could answer “it’s just… pregnancy stuff” she scoffed, sitting up with half a smile.

“You can tell me, if you want to” Kara got up too and got the breakfast from the bedside “you can always tell me what you’re feeling, I really just want to help and…” she chattered while displaying the food in front of Lena “I don’t mean to seem invasive, I just…”

“Kara, dear, breathe” Lena smiled tenderly, holding her hand and intertwining their fingers “it’s okay, it’s not a big deal. Anyway, why don’t you read me what you found out about Seedy?”

“Okay!” she cheered up “well, alright” Kara scoffed. Opening the app on her phone while Lena attacked breakfast “your baby is now the size of a bell pepper” Lena frowned, she hates bell peppers “she is approximately 14 centimeters now and weighs around 200 grams. During the ultrasound it will now be possible to see her kick, suck on her toe and even move around.” they smiled together “Your weight gain is evident now, your usual clothes will get tighter and your nipple areolas will begin to change size” Kara felt her cheeks burn “it’s time to get the baby’s room ready, click here to see some tips.”

“Well, this app is very smart” Lena nodded while eating a strawberry off the plate “some of my clothes don’t pass my waist anymore” she reached for a donut “oh, Rao! This is so good!” Lena let it slide as she felt the chocolate melt in her mouth. Kara squeezed a toast too strongly and it became dust.

Rao? Lena said, Rao?

“Y-you..” she was shocked “what… what did you just say?”

“Oh sorry” she swallowed the food and took a sip of coffee “I was doing some research about Seedy’s other mom and found out that, in Krypton, the red sun that reigned the planet was considered a divine being named Rao. I didn’t find much information about the religion, not that I’m a religious person but there are so fascinating things surrounding it” Lena explained with an amazing light in her eyes “also every time I say that name is like a good energy takes over my body.”

That left the kryptonian speechless. Her religion and beliefs were extremely important to her, it was what kept her planet alive inside her, what kept the memories of her friends and parents alive. It’s not an easy thing to carry the remaining memory of an extinguished nation, to be the only one that remembers what life there looked like, how it felt. Every time Kara felt alone, abandoned, or emotionally overwhelmed, she sat down on her living room’s floor, lit up a couple of candles, and prayed the words her father had taught her when she was little. Meditating, praying, or just keeping quiet for brief minutes or maybe hours helped her find a balance to stay strong.

But it had never crossed Kara’s mind that this child was now going to carry that legacy alongside her. Furthermore, Lena, her best friend, was truly interested in teaching her daughter a culture she didn’t understand or knew a thing about. She held back the tears and formed in her eyes and took a deep breath, fighting the need to hug the woman in front of her.

“Although I wish there was more information in the website I found” Lena continued “though the material is scarce, I think this child will be able to learn about her other side” she smiled “are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah, yes” Kara shook her head, trying to focus “I… uh, I think what you’re doing is awesome, it really is…” she scoffed nervously “it’s complicated… when you’re the last one in your family and… well, have to keep the memory alive on your own.”

“I can’t even imagine what that must be like” Lena finished the breakfast and cleaned her lips with a napkin “you know more about it than I do, for always being with Supergirl.”

“Yeah… she tells me about it” Kara confirmed, lowering her eyes.

And so they gathered the dishes and brought them back to the kitchen, Lena insisting to wash them. Agnes greeted her with excitement, jumping on her legs begging for a pat in the head. After they finished cleaning the kitchen, Kara went to the bedroom for a change of clothes while Lena made her way to the bathroom for a quick bath. Their habits and routine automatically intertwining without them noticing, moving as if they were used to mornings like those, with breakfast in bed, morning small talks, and happy ways to begin your day. While Lena occupied half the bathroom sink with makeup, her hair still dripping, Kara brushed her teeth and looked at the woman next to her through the mirror, amazed at how she looked so beautiful without even trying.

And so they left the apartment together, leaving Agnes with a pot full of food, another full of water, and the kitchen lights on, in case they were late. Lena called her driver and after a lot of insisting, Kara let him drive her to Alex’s place before taking Lena to work, before leaving, Kara scheduled a lunch for them at CatCo in a few hours.

 

***

 

The tension in the air was palpable and neither Alex nor Kara had any idea how that moment was going to go, how they were going to explain the mess it was made in only five months. Sure, no one could foresee how their world was going to turn upside down in such little time, although five months are not that little time. The last time Eliza visited them, she got to know Maggie and her youngest daughter was still single. Mrs. Danvers was aware of her lack of presence in her daughters' lives, but even though she wanted to be there for them more, it was impossible. Both girls worked, had busy love lives and a routine that Eliza couldn’t keep up with. Yes, she missed them very much but she had to accept the hard truth: Alex and Kara were adults now.

Besides, after Jeremiah’s death, Eliza drowned herself in work and the only time she heard from her daughters was at the weekend when she called without fail. That was how she learned about her oldest daughter’s engagement and her youngest daughter's new boyfriend.

But now that she was there, she could tell something was wrong. A lot was wrong. Mostly because neither girl wanted to be the first to talk.

“You first” Kara turned to her sister, breaking the tension.

“Me? Why me?” Alex widened her eyes, jumpy. Eliza crossed her arms patiently and waited “you’re the one going to be a mom here!”

“But you’re the one who broke off an engagement!” Kara argued, “plus, you’re the oldest.”

Okay, that was a mess.

“You’re pregnant?” Mrs. Danvers outnoised them and they went quiet.

“What? No!” she denied “I’m not pregnant, mom.”

“She knocked up her best friend” Alex smirked

“Ugh, I hate you so much!” Kara groaned and threw her body on the couch, pouting “I didn’t knock up anyone, when you say it like that it sounds like I have… er, you know…” she blushed and pointed to her pants “that.”

“Okay, okay” Eliza got up “first of all, Alex, how many times did I tell you not to gossip about your sister to me?” she arched a brow, making Alex shrink into the couch “and second, I want to listen to both of you, one at a time, starting with you” Eliza pointed to the redhead, who opened her mouth to protest but was interrupted “Ah, Ah, you’re starting and that’s the end of it” she sat down again “and don’t even think of excusing yourselves to save the planet or something. I talked to J’onn and he knows I’m here.”

“Mom!” Alex complained, but her mother’s look warned her to just say what had happened with every little detail “okay… I’m not getting married anymore.”

“Darling, I understood that” she smiled “what I don’t understand is the reason why the sudden change. What happened?” Alex averted her eyes to the floor and Kara held her hand softly, trying to give her strength.

“Maggie and I… well, we loved each other but we had never talked about kids” she confessed, taking a deep breath “after… after something happened, the subject came up and we realized we didn’t agree on it. I thought I could leave it aside, let it go, and accept I could be happy with just her, but…”

“But your biggest dream was always to be a mom” Eliza finished her sentence, moving to the edge of the chair and holding Alex’s lonely hand “and no, Alex, you shouldn’t give up on what you want to please someone else.”

“Now I have neither” she sobbed quietly “ and I… I don’t know what to do if I made the right call if I got ahead of myself.

“Alex, can you picture yourself five or ten years from now, not being a mother,” Eliza asked carefully and Alex shook her head “so that is enough. It will hurt now, it will bother you and, of course, you are going to miss her. In love, we have to learn to let go of certain things, but there are things we won’t ever be able to give up and we have to accept that.” she sat next to her daughter, letting her cry on her shoulder “I’m sorry you had to make that decision.”

“Me too, mom” she whispered. And so some minutes passed, Eliza still comforting her oldest baby and Kara holding her hand tight. Kara’s heart ached, seeing her sister so sad and broken, she wanted to help, to do or say something that could make it better. But she could find nothing that would fill the emptiness in her heart.

“Kara, please explain to me what your sister meant with ‘you’re going to be a mom’” Eliza turned and the blonde felt her body tense. Oh, Rao! How was she going to explain this mess? “I thought you were dating Mike.”

“Er… I was” she scoffed “until I had to send him off the planet…”
“Words, dear, use words, not your hands” Eliza smiled, knowing the kryptonian always lost her track of thought and ended up gesticulating more than speaking “and deep breaths.”

“Right” Kara sighed “Mike, he… he wasn’t exactly the time of person who did me good” she confessed “our relationship had its ups and downs, more downs than ups actually and it was making me crazy and making me think of breaking up since he said some things that made me cry and I…”

“Breaths, Kara” she reminded her again. Alex giggled quietly

“Uh, sorry” she frowned “Rhea, his mother, showed up here and used Lena to open a portal, where other daxamites could come in” Kara explained more thoroughly “but turns out the daxamites are old enemies to the kryptonians and she did not like the fact that we were dating. So, Rhea kidnapped Lena and Mike and took them to her ship, she wanted them to get married and make an heir to the Daxam throne.”

“Lena, your friend Lena? The Luthor?” Kara nodded “right, and she didn’t know or suspected anything?”

“No, and it was in that invasion that the mess began” she sighed and looked for Alex’s eyes for support “Lena was able to save the world, again, but the price of it was that no daxamite could remain on Earth because of the lead thrown on the atmosphere. So Mike or better Mon-El had to go” Alex squeezed her fingers and smiled, encouraging Kara to continue.

“And how did you feel about that?” Eliza carefully asked, aware that her daughter didn’t do well with goodbyes.

“At first, I… I don’t know” she was sincere “I was angry, upset, and worried, but at the same time… I was relieved” Kara sighed “He wasn’t good to me, didn’t respect my decisions or my space, it was… so hard to make him understand my side…”

“You didn’t love him” her mother concluded, “and even if you did, you can’t expect love to change someone, darling.”

“Yeah, I get that now, I think.”

“Love is a powerful feeling” Eliza explained “but change is personal, something only you can do to yourself. As much as you love someone, you can’t expect him to change because of it. Mike was the only one who could change himself, it wasn’t and it isn’t your fault that he didn’t change.”

“You’re right, thanks mom” she smiled “but that’s not the end of it.”
“I even stopped crying” Alex teased and snorted as she saw the look on Kara’s face “c’mon, tell her the big news.”

“Uh… er, I don’t know… how to say it” Kara swallowed. She was so nervous she swore she was sweating “Rhea, she… she really wanted an heir and so.... er, she took Lena’s and Mike’s DNA sample to…"

“To generate a life, as they did in Krypton” Eliza completed, rushing the story.

“Yes, right” Kara avoided both her sister’s and mother’s eyes “turns out that the genetic sample she had from Mike came from a strand of hair that was in his clothes, and well… that strand of hair was actually mine. When I learned about that plan, I didn’t think that… that Rhea was really going to go through with it, Rao! It was… such a horrible thing to do to Lena… she…” Kara sighed “she wasn’t even understanding what was happening and felt so guilty about the mistake she made.”

“Lena is pregnant,” Eliza said, the blonde nodded “and it’s your child” she nodded again

“Is this the time we pop the champagne?” Alex teased, trying to break the ice

“I’m sorry, I know I should have stopped it, but I… I didn’t know! Rao!” Kara began to panic “I’m sorry, I’m going to fix this, I promise and…”

“Honey, dear, I’m not mad or disappointed in you” Eliza smiled tenderly and asked Alex to switch places with her sister “I know there was no way to stop or even find out about this it. What is done is done and now you have to deal with the consequences. Tell me, how is your friend?”

“Lena is okay, considering everything” Kara breathed out, relieved “at first it was… devastating. I panicked and disappeared for almost two months, while she… I don’t like remembering what I did,” she admitted.

“Okay, if you don’t like remembering it, you don’t have to, but did you apologize?” Kara nodded yes “good because pregnancy is no paradise, especially the way it was imposed on her. The correct term would be abuse, Kara and you have to understand that this word weighs a suffocating ton for those who carry it."

“There’s more, a lot more” Kara whispered, letting a single teardrop fall, too fragile to keep talking.

“Lena didn’t abort it but she wants to give the child up for adoption” Alex explained “and well, to her, the baby’s other mother is Supergirl” Eliza frowned, losing the thread of the story.

“So Lena doesn’t know your secret identity?” Kara didn’t answer “and why haven’t you told her? You don’t trust her enough?”

“And here we go” Alex rolled her eyes.

“I do trust her, a lot,” Kara said “I don’t care if her last name is Luthor if her brother and mother are murderers, Lena isn’t like her family and now she is carrying my daughter.”

“A name doesn’t say anything about anyone” Eliza agreed “I understand your side.”

“You do?”

“Kara, when you were given to me by your cousin, all I saw in your eyes were fear. You were a thirteen-year-old girl who had been lost for twenty-four years and then left on a planet for a duty that had already been done. The terror in your beautiful blue eyes was too big for such a small girl and I feared it wouldn’t ever leave you” she explained “but, as you grew older, that fear grew smaller, hiding in deeper parts of yourself, and even knowing everything scared you, I never met someone as determined as you” Eliza gently stroked her youngest daughter wet cheek, remembering their old happy days “turns out I’m seeing this fear in your eyes again, Kara. The same terror” Kara sobbed, letting all her all fall down.

“I- I don’t want to lose her, mom” she hid her face in her shoulder “I can’t l-lose everything again.”

“I know darling, I know…” Eliza stroked the blonde hair “but listen to me, please” her voice sounded sweet, full of love “if you love her, then tell her the truth. Because your parents didn’t do it and it cost so many people’s lives, including yours. Lena and your daughter don’t deserve to live without knowing, the same way as you did and you’re the only one who can fix it. Be the mother you wanted to have, be the hero you always fought to be but also be honest and truthful with yourself” she kissed her forehead “you can be weak, you can cry and get hurt, just don’t let your fear keep you from living.”

“Thank you.” Kara smiled between tears.

“You’re welcome, now, just let me meet her,” Eliza said lightly “and welcome her into the family.”

“We’re not dating” kara quickly said “I… we’re not…”

“Oh, sure” Alex groaned, “said Miss ‘I kissed Lena’.”

“Alex!” Kara widened her eyes

“And you’re going to be the grandma of the year, how does that feel?” the redhead poked her mother, who rolled her eyes.

“Alexandra, when are you going to learn?” Eliza laughed “and I want both of you in Midvale for Thanksgiving and I don’t want any excuses. And Kara, invite your girlfriend too.”

“Mom! Ugh… we’re not dating!” Kara pouted, throwing herself into the couch.

“You’re not dating but you’re having a child together” Alex teased “why can’t you follow the correct order of things?” she smiled proudly at her joke while Kara growled into a pillow.

“Alexandra, enough” Eliza intervene “now, Kara, tell me everything about my granddaughter.

Kara’s smile might have as well irradiated through the room, her joy making her chest inflate with pride, she told them everything about Seedy. Not leaving any details out.

***

 

Autumn’s cold was colder that morning, accompanied by rainstorms that came and went and hard winds that punished the orange leaves on the streets. But, however low the temperature was dropping, Lena didn’t even need a heater in her office, still, she turned it on as she came in so Jess wouldn’t be wary. It was in days like this that Lena’s level of stress peaked and her hunger disappeared, leaving her alone to manage piles and piles of paper, documents to analyze, projects to approve, and investors to investigate. Not that she was complaining, it was what she loved to do and chose as a living. To be president of a well-known, strong company like L-Corp gave her the feeling of being somewhat of a hero.

Because, all the good she could do regarding her work, Lena did it, changing her legacy as a Luthor in the world.

The meetings were excessively exhausting, especially because it was getting harder to stand up for long periods in the heels she used to wear. Maybe it was time to change her habits, to give up on certain pieces of clothing in her closet. By that month, her pregnancy could no longer be hidden by large shirts and comfy dresses, it was visible and palpable. Lena Luthor was pregnant. Which did not result in a happy reaction from the partners, much less from the company’s committee members, alongside L-Corps stocks. The comments were actually less bad and painful than Lena thought it was going to be, none of them got into her, but she had never gone through so much sexism in her entire life.

Of course, L-Corp strictly maintained fair employment laws to every single employee, assuming they had all their rights and making sure the norms could offer enough support in cases of need. Which included maternity leave and now Lena understood the importance of protecting women’s employment rights, the world was certainly a man’s place. Besides, Lena always made sure to check, in person, floor by floor, if her employees were being treated well if they were happy. It was pure logic, if the work environment was good, production doubled and if the employee were happy, she wouldn’t have to deal with possible resignations in the near future. Pure psychology, which, by the way, gave the Luthor the bright idea to hire a psychologist to each department in L-Corp, suppressing every need the human being deserved

The complicated part of it was dealing with men alleging their support when they were really looking for a possibility to stab her in the back. No, dealing with her people was something Lena was trained forever since she was little to endure, always keeping her posture and never letting insecurity show. That wouldn’t change just because she was pregnant. The difficult part was keeping photos from paparazzi to end up in gossip magazines, who loved to talk about her private life. The journalists and gossipers were dying to know who was the father because Lena wasn’t doing external conferences or central square speeches anymore. They tried every way they could, surrounding her on her way out of L-Corp, shouting invasive questions.

Jess, her efficient secretary, called the company’s security team and two of the men were now responsible for accompanying Lena wherever she went while she was at work. She no longer could go to the parking lot or go to other lab buildings without a patrol behind her. And, of course, someone had found out about Lilian Luthor’s latest visit to L-Corp and published it in some magazine, making her not-so-simple life get even more complex. As revolting as it was, Lena Luthor never lost posture. Never.

And if there was something she was going to teach her daughter was that no one could tell or demand what she had to be or do.
“Jess, cancel the ten o’clock meeting for me and transfer it to three o’clock please” Lena requested, leaving the room and observing the security guards promptly positioned themselves next to her. Which profoundly pissed her off. “I’ll be back for Mr. Yoshida before the meeting.”

“Yes, Ms. Luthor” Jess took note “should I call your driver?”

“I already did it, thank you” she smiled politely and went down the elevators, aware of what was expecting her on the other side.

The flashes were always directed at the face as if her green eyes could give some information that her lips had secrets on their surface. Lena was grateful for the rain, so she could wear an overcoat that did a fine job hiding her belly. All this privacy invasion and disrespect only made Lena more sure that giving her daughter to adoption was the right decision. She couldn’t impose this exposition on someone so little, someone that couldn’t talk or defend herself. But a new feeling began to take over her chest every time she thought of this possibility.

Giving up her only daughter.

It hurt more than Lena could put into words and she would never admit out loud that her mind was starting to change.

“Miss Luthor, how are you going to be president of L-Corp and raise a child at the same time?” someone in the crowd yelled.

“Who is the father of your son?”

“What does Lilian have to do with the hangar’s explosion and why was it registered under L-Corp's old name?” someone else asked.

The security guards helped her make her way to the car and everything went quiet once the doors closed.

 

***

 

The sound of her heels echoed loudly through the DEO corridors, hitting the walls and making that walk seem more intimidating than it was. No agent dared to divert their eyes to the Luthor, much less smile in greeting. Her well-done ponytail moved on her back and her posture was scaringly straight. Also, everyone, there was aware that the most powerful woman of National City was pregnant with the city’s superhero, which was enough for there not to be any jokes or commentaries involving the two.

“Winn” Lena called the boy who observed three computer screens at the same time while playing with a toy gun “where is Alex?”

“Lena!” he dropped the toy and almost fell from the chair “Jesus Christ, did you have to sneak in on me? God! I almost died!"

“Don’t overreact” she rolled her eyes.

“Me? Overreact?” he got up and guided the CEO down the stairs “no one even breathes when you’re here, Lena.”

“Not my fault” she shrugged “your hero is the one who has to control her feelings.”

“Ha” Winn laughed ironically “the fear they have of Supergirl doesn’t come near the fear they have of you, Lena.”

“May it continue like this, then” she smirked, making the boy look at her with terror.

“Jesus, don’t look at me like that” he walked faster and reached one of the department labs, finding Alex focused on one of the microscopes “your friend is here.”

“Lena is not my friend,” Alex said without moving her head from her focus “she’s here to be interrogated” Winn froze in place. He never admitted out loud but the Luthor made his spine shiver.

“What did she do?” he asked, moving not so discreetly away from her

“Oh, believe me” Lena responded, “you don’t want to know.”

“Okay, I think I heard J’onn calling me” he reached the doorknob “I- I gotta go.” and disappeared.

Alex and Lena stared at each other and cackled.

“You’re pretty convincing, agent Danvers” Lena compliments, moving to her side.

“You’re acting talents are good too, Luthor, just not better than mine.” she teased.

“You’re good at faking, not acting” she retorted, making the other woman smirk “you’d make a good Luthor.”

“Are you proposing?”

“In your dreams, Danvers” Lena laughed “but I must say that, unfortunately, it wouldn’t be possible.”

“Of course, Kara would kill me, and if there is one thing I care about is my life” Alex teased again, seeing the Luthor blush “to what do I owe the visit?”

“I have to take the exam results to the next ultrasound and I also need your help” she sighed “there is something strange happening to me and I don’t know what to do.”

“I think I know what it may be, but tell me what are the new symptoms” she sat down and Lena did the same, taking off the overcoat feeling suffocated by the heat

“I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like I’m getting stronger and stronger and…” Lena shook her head “I broke free from handcuffs with my bare hands, Alex, and when I screamed… everything around me broke” the agent listened carefully, taking mental notes of everything “Lilian tried to touch the kryptonite on me and I panicked.”

“I get it, and any mother in your place would react the same way,” Alex said “it has been proven by psychologists and scientists that, when a mother seeks its child in a dangerous situation, she uses an emotional strength that we’re barely able to get a hold of. It had more to do with the trigger that sets off that despair inside you, you know?”

“So you think I might have been that?” Lena frowned.

“No, I’m saying it might be a part of it, but when I analyzed your blood, I noticed it doesn’t follow the same normal composition for humans anymore” Alex explained, “take a look.”

Alex got away from the table and pointed to the microscope, putting the slide with Lena’s blood sample on it and let the Luthor adjust the focus.

“What are these star-like cells?” Lena asked, intrigued “they’re aggregating to each other.”

“These are the same cells that compose a kryptonians blood” Alex search for another slide and oil immersion “Opposite to our cells, that are roundish or have specific shapes to its functions, like the epithelial or nerve cells, the kryptonians’ are all like this, the blood ones” the CEO stepped back and looked at the redhead “somehow this child’s blood mixed with yours.”

“Is that bad?” Lena sat down again.

“I don’t know, probably not, we’re in the fifth month and you haven’t presented any symptoms put your health at risk” Alex changed the slide and put a bigger focus on it “look at this DNA sample I took” Lena obeyed “look how the genetic material had some space where darker shapes are forming.

“But that is her DNA, right? Not mine” Alex nodded “it’s like it is interfering in my genetic composition without really modifying it.”

“Yes, and I believe I know the reason for it,” she smiled proudly.

“And that is?” Lena crossed her arms, anxious.

“Your daughter is protecting you” Alex was sure “she knows how important you are and is transferring what she can to your body. Your strength, your skin, and even your scream. It’s her powers ensuring your safety."

“That’s… I- I… that’s not possible” Lena murmured, feeling the weight of the revelation sink in her chest. Her hands went down to her stomach and she looked at it, scared.

Her daughter was protecting her.

“I can prove it to you if you want” Alex shrugged “we can take another blood sample and compare it to the last one, you’ve been under more stress, I’m sure the number of kryptonian cells in your blood doubled."

“No, I…”

“And there’s more” Lena let a ‘holy shit’ escape and sat down “I took the liberty of taking some texts, with a hypothesis that came to me a few days ago while I was studying your genetic material” Alex spoke excitedly, finding that science talk a whole lot of fun. Lena agreed “When I manage to get some blood samples from Supergirl, I always run some basic tests, mainly to know how her cells have been reacting to the yellow sun radiation. So, one day, I decided to use kryptonite, to know what exactly happened at a microscopic level and I had the obvious result."

“Cell death.”

“Yeah, cell death” Alex confirmed “they simply melted in place” Lena felt her body shiver and her thoughts went straight to her daughter “it’s like drinking sulfuric acid, it corrodes your inside, but the chemical reaction is faster and the effect more catastrophic."

“Where are you getting at, Alex?” Lena rushed.

“I tested the same kryptonite in your blood, expecting for at least the alien part of your blood to have the same reaction” she continued “but, that’s not what happened. When I put the kryptonite sample in your blood, the human cells united to the alien ones, creating some sort of barrier, expelling the radiation."

“Wait, hold on” the sound of Lena’s brain working was almost audible “are you telling me that, if the combination of my DNA with Supergirl’s is what is happening to me, then…”

“That’s right” Alex smiled “Eureka!”

“Oh, God.”

“Your daughter is the first kryptonian immune to kryptonite.”

 

***

 

“Waiting for anyone especially?” James leaned on the glass door that leads to CatCo’s balcony “I like the flowers.”

“Thanks” Kara sighed nervously “do you think it looks like a date? Because I just invited her to lunch and I don’t want to surprise her with a date but I don’t know how to make this look like it isn’t a date.”

“Kara, breathe” he laughed “it’s the Luthor, right?”

“Is it that obvious?” Kara blushed, fixing her glasses “and don’t say it like that.”

“It had been obvious for a couple of years now” he smiled “since you defended her for the first time. And she is a Luthor, she knows that.”

“She has the name but she isn’t like them” Kara was getting tired of repeating that “and it’s going to be my daughter’s last name too.”

“You know what Lex did to your friend, who is your cousin, by the way,” James frowned “are you sure you want this? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I appreciate your concern, but it’s unnecessary and unfounded” Kara responded, finishing placing the plates on the table “Lena is my best friend and the mother of my daughter and I wouldn’t choose anyone else to play that part.” Kara said on instinct and, when she turned to the man, he looked offended and upset “I… sorry, I didn’t… I didn’t mean that James, I just…”

“It’s fine, Kara” he laughed it off, showing it was clearly not fine “we didn’t have enough to think about that kind of stuff, don’t worry.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you” she was sincere “we tried, but… it didn’t…”

“Kara, I....” Lena showed up by the door, and, noticing the weird atmosphere, didn’t come in “sorry, am I disturbing? I can wait” she frowned.

“Lena!” Kara smiled brightly “no, of course not. James and I were just talking” Kara turned to him.

“You two have a good lunch, I need to go back to work” he walked away, leaving Kara worried about what she said.

“Are you okay?” Lena asked, wary “James looked… bothered.”

“James is a good guy, but it’s complicated” Kara brushed it off and pointed to a chair “are you hungry?”

“Starving” she answered, “I still have two meetings this afternoon and I couldn’t even finish reading one report.”

“That means you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast” Kara accused, seeing the Luthor blush “I bought lunch at your favorite Italian place”

“You truly are my favorite” Lena smiled “not that I’m your favorite because I’m not. Not anymore.”

“Nope, that title belongs to Seedy now, sorry” she teased “she is my favorite Luthor now.”

“I’m not sure I give her my last name” Lena commented, before tasting the pasta “doesn't seem fair.”

“But you don’t have another surname” Kara frowned “also, that name doesn’t say anything about anyone, Lena. And is not going to define who Seedy is going to be.”

“Lizzie.”

“Sorry?”

“Seedy’s name,” Lena said, embarrassed, unsure if she should say it out loud “Lizzie.”

Lizzie Luthor Danvers, Kara thought to herself. That was her daughter’s name, her little girl.

“I love it, Lena” she reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers “and I’m proud of you. I’m sure she will be just as amazing as her mother.”

“I don’t know” Lena sighed, caressing her belly with her other hand “saying it out loud makes it so much more real, more than it is.”

“She is real and she will love you unconditionally,” Kara said “because you, whether you know it or not, have been being exactly the kind of mother she needs. You started eating more, you don’t work until absurd hours, you stopped drinking. Your clothes don’t fit, you have to constantly take samples and exams and take care of what you do and eat.”

“Kara, don’t make me cry” Lena smiled with sad lips. So the blond move her chair to next to hers and hugged her.

“You’re an extraordinary person, you just haven’t realized it yet” Kara kissed her hair and their eyes met, green losing itself in the blue. Lena could feel Kara’s breath on her face and her heart resounding in her chest. She felt as if it burst out of her at any moment.

Kara caressed her cheek, going up and down, tracing her jawline, and sighed. There were so many details on the Luthor she had memorized and she could recite them with closed eyes, but every time Kara found herself there, at mercy of her eyes, feeling the sweet scent took over her lungs. It felt like learning something new. And she wished to learn everything about Lena Luthor.

“Lena, I…” Kara inhaled “I… can I kiss you?”

Lena didn’t bother to answer with words, she put her lips on Kara’s and everything exploded around her, without a sound. The kiss was shy, calm, and hesitant as to what way to follow. Lena touched the other woman’s face, deepening the kiss, wanting more, needing more. Her tongue asked for passage, contouring her lips with tenderness. Kara had no shame and soon felt her taste mix with hers. She tasted it like someone who did their best to not lose their chance.

Suddenly, Lena moved away from Kara and her heart dropped.

“What happened? Did… did I do something…”

“No” she shook her head, laughing, and took her friend’s hand “feel it” and put it over her belly and a small kick made her skin tremble slightly.

They looked at each other, drunk with happiness.

“Oh!” Kara was smiling the brightest of smiles “she kicked!”

“Yeah” Lena smiled along “hey, baby girl, you interrupted a very nice moment.”

“Lena!” Kara blushed strongly “she’s just a baby…”

“I know, but still,” Lena said overdramatically “I was really enjoying it.”

Kara smiled and kept her red face, fixing her glasses over her nose and put their lips together again. And they laughed again when another kick interrupted. It looked like someone was jealous, or just very happy to see her mommies finally together.

 

***

 

By the end of the afternoon, Lena went back to Kara’s apartment, and even though Lena insisted for her to come back soon, she had an important article to finish and would take longer than usual. It was normal for it to happen, but Lena didn’t like the way Snapper asked so much of Kara. He was always requesting and demanding and never gave Kara nearly enough credit she deserved. And if there was one thing Lena despised were ungrateful bosses that didn’t help their employees to grow in life. It made no sense and every day she watched her friend work hard for a service that didn’t give anything back, mainly because Snapper never gave Kara the themes she liked writing about.

Lena got it with the key Kara had handled after lunch, saying that the key was also hers now. The Luthor didn’t know how to react or answer. A simple key could be just that: simple, But it wasn’t. That object meant the beginning of something she barely understood or knew if she was ready to face. However, Lena chose to ignore her insecurities, she knew how hard fighting against her heart would be. At the moment, her feet were begging for rest, her shoulders felt the weight of the day on them and her clothes felt tighter than earlier. Which, obviously, was not biologically possible.

“Agnes, I’m home!” Lena called for the little dog, who quickly ran to say hi “hey, babygirl” she took her heels off, leaving them by the door, and kneeled “I missed you too, did you behave, hm?” she patted the dog and kissed her on the nose “are you hungry?” Agnes barked “are you part of the gluttony club? Lizzie and Kara are basically the founders of this club” the dog barked again, making Lena laugh “Okay, let’s get you some food and then I am going to take a shower.”

Lena got off the floor and took her things to the bedroom, going back to the kitchen and filling the pot with dog food. Agnes surrounded her and began to eat as soon as it was placed on the floor. After drinking a large glass of water and eating a little bit of cheese from the fridge, the Luthor walked back to bed, taking her dress off on the way. She thanked heaven no one else was in the apartment but her and it was too dark outside, so she didn’t have to worry about the windows.

“We need to relax a little,” she said, filling the bathtub with hot water and putting her up in a messy bun “what do you say kid?” she touched her stomach “you were pretty agitated today, and I think I know why” Lena smiled as she spoke. Taking the rest of her clothes off and took a look in the mirror, noticing her belly had grown bigger “Lizzie, promise me you won’t let me huge” she grimaced “you and I make a damn good team but we don’t need that much space” Lena rolled her eyes at her own comment and placed her phone on the sink. Pressing play on her usual playlist and letting the music invade the apartment.

Some minutes passed on that intimated moment, allowing her to feel the pregnancy. She could feel the heat that her stomach diffused and that warmed her whole, especially her heart. Once the bath was filled to the top, Lena looked for bath soaps or body oil she could use. There was nothing in sight so she decided to go back to the room and look for it.

What Lena didn’t expect was for Kara to have returned and happen to be passing by at that exact moment.

“Kara!” her body met Kara’s before her eyes and Lena had to hold on to her shoulder to stop her from falling.

“Lena! Oh, God…” Kara held her on instinct, feeling the other woman’s naked body on hers and everything getting warmer “you… oh, God” she closed her eyes “I’m sorry, I…I didn’t know and I was worried because I called you and you didn’t answer, but I heard the music and I…”

“Kara, breathe, please” Lena put herself together and stood up, holding Kara’s face with both hands “open your eyes, there’s no problem in you seeing me naked. It’s not like you haven’t seen it…” she murmured.

“Right” Kara opened her face but faced the wall “what were you doing… er, out… outside the bathroom… like that?”

“I was looking for bath soaps or oils, my back and feet are killing me” Lena confessed, trying not to think of the fact Kara was still keeping her close, too close for any pure thoughts to come out of it.

Breathe. How do you breathe again?

“Oh” Kara finally looked at her “are you in pain?” she asked worried she had worsened something.

“The tension is hurting, but it will pass” Lena sighed.

“I… I can help you, if… if you want” Kara suggested, embarrassed “I’m not saying that… well, nevermind, I didn’t mean to… insinuate anything or…”

“Do you want to join me in the bath?” Lena asked calmly, caressing her cheeks and trying to pass the tenderness she was feeling to her.

“I do, but… I’ve never been…” Kara scoffed nervously.

“C’mon” Lena guided Kara by the hand towards the bathroom, while the blonde woman tried to focus on anything besides the naked figure in front of her, Lena skipped a couple of songs, choosing a slower melody “tie your hair,” she asked Kara, unbuttoning her flannel shirt “we don’t need to do anything, Kara. Is that okay with you?”

“Y-yeah…” her lips trembled and her body betrayed her mind with every reaction. Her brain was slow trying to process it all, Kara watched as Lena finished undoing her shirt and let it fall to the floor.
That was when she finally reacted.

Kara lifted her arms and tied her hair in a bun, feeling her skin shiver and craved touch, more proximity, more intimacy. Lena let Kara take off the rest of her clothes, while she got into the bathtub, feeling the water surround her body, with necessary warmth. Turning around she found Kara’s naked sunbathed body, making her lose her breath. She had never seen the other woman like this, so exposed, so given. Kara looked as if she had been sculpted by a renaissance artist, each detail on her was so unique and single that Lena couldn't put it into words.

She couldn't blink or form a coherent phrase. Her firm breasts were exposed, same with every little spot, every scar, every inch of her soul. Kara was allowing her to see more than she had ever seen before. That was intimacy, that was recognizing the other person without even touching their body. Lena noticed goosebumps go by the soft skin and smiled, aware of how nervous Kara probably was. So she held out a hand and felt the warm touch of Kara’s fingers on hers, watching the water move in small waves with the other body invading it.

The blonde positioned herself behind the Luthor, placing her between her legs and feeling Lena lean on her body.

Intimacy.

Silence reigned for long minutes until both breaths were serene and in compass. Lena laid on her friend’s shoulder, her back feeling the hardened nipples and her behind feeling Kara’s warm center. Intimacy. Kara held her tight in a protective and possessive way, moving her fingers on the water and tracing it back to Lena’s soft skin. That was new. That was different and completely unknown. There were no behind intentions or secret desires because both could feel and see the two bodies reacting to the touches. It was clear, there was want, there were excitement and heat between them. There was passion. But they knew better than to rush things.

“I've… never been intimate with a woman” Kara whispered as if she was confessing to something prohibited. Lena raised her eyes and intertwined her fingers with Kara’s, taking them to her lips and kissing each knuckle softly.

“You shouldn't be nervous,” Lena whispered back. The music was still playing, alongside it, the sound of their beating hearts “intimacy has nothing to do with sex, it has to do with trust, with safeness, and with how willing you are to give yourself to someone."

“I trust you” Kara confessed.

“And I, you.”

And so their lips met the third time that day and the night continued in the same atmosphere, with touches, kisses, and passionate confessions that pushed their souls to love each other quietly.

Chapter 13: A Danvers and a Luthor

Notes:

we're back baby

don't forget to leave kudos and comments!

Chapter Text

“Kara, work with me here!” Alex begged, uselessly, for the fourth time, while her sister squirmed on the stretcher “Kara!”

“I don’t need to be here, Alex!” Kara groaned and pouted, crossing her arms above her uniform’s symbol.

“You know that face doesn’t work with me, I’m not your girlfriend,” she said, losing patience.

“Lena is not my girlfriend” Kara retorted. Alex just rolled her eyes, she was not going to discuss that now, no matter how hard she wanted to tease her little sister. The agent adjusted the yellow lights over the hero’s body, turning them on the highest level so it wouldn’t take long for her to get strong again.

“What do we have here?” Winn showed up behind Alex and frowned, seeing some scratches on Supergirl’s body.

“Maybe I fought an alien five times my size and maybe it hurt me with those huge thorns” the blonde answered, but she didn’t try to hide that the radiation relieved her pain “now Alex wants me to stay here.”

“And you don’t want to be here, as always,” Winn said and Kara confirmed, “okay, does that have anything to do with your girlfriend?”

“Ugh, what is wrong with you two?” she closed her eyes, feeling sore, and sighed “I need to get out of here and meet her. We have a class this afternoon, I can’t miss it…”

“Kara, you’re not leaving the DEO looking like this” Alex said for the thousandth time “Winn, give me a hand here, please” she pointed to one of the lamps.

“J’onn asked to see you before you go home” Winn warned, “and Kara, how are you going to get to L-Corp looking destroyed and explain you were fighting an alien in the middle of the avenue?”

“I… er, I hadn’t thought of that,” Kara confessed, blushing.

“Of course you didn’t” the redhead smiled.

“But I don’t want to miss it and I don’t want Lena to miss it” Kara grumbled “she likes it and… it’s good for her.”

“Can’t you send someone else in your place?” Winn suggested, and so both he and Supergirl turned to Alex.

“No, no and no!” Alex stepped back “No!”

“Alex, please! Pretty please!” Kara did her best pout, ignoring Winn who was laughing out loud “for me, for you niece!”

“Oh, that’s low” Winn continued laughing.

“Don’t play dirty with me, Zor-El” she pointed to her sister “you’re not convincing me.”

“When Lizzie is born, I’m going to tell her what you did” Kara threatened, crossing her arms again and grimacing because of the movement.

“Lizzie?” Winn and Alex gasped at the same time and the blond felt her face flush, biting her lips to contain the excitement.

“Uh… Seedy’s name” she smiled, “Lena told me last week.”

Alex watched her sister’s dreamy eyes as she talked about her daughter and realized it would be very hard to deny her anything. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to go and help Lena, Alex actually really wanted to. However, she didn’t trust herself, she wasn’t sure if she could handle a room full of happy pregnant women that fulfilled her dream. A dream she needed to fulfill herself. Alex felt her hands shake and her anxiety grow even higher. Her breathing labored, cold sweat began to form on her forehead and she struggled to think of coherent phrases. No, Alex couldn’t lose control, she had to stay strong.

Fighting against her vice was never simple of an easy win. Alex knew she was losing the battle every time she lied and deceived herself saying it was just one glass, one dose less until it was gone. To be honest, Alex could barely say how much alcohol her body ingested, in her weak and momentaneously sick mind, she was doing her best. Alex inhaled deeply and tried to concentrate. She didn’t want Lena to notice her faults at the moment. She couldn’t show up at the glass mirroring her brokenness.

Deep down, Alex was scared of asking for help or showing someone she was so vulnerable that her life didn’t feel like hers anymore. Alex remembered perfectly the Luthor’s words, which made her see that asking for help wasn’t wrong or weak. It was necessary. Maybe she was just being selfish to herself, she knew that she wanted to win, but she was scared of dealing with her own feelings and thoughts. Like she always used to say, being drunk was a much better state to figure out your personal conflicts than sober. What if Alex couldn’t make it? What if she got in a worse state than before? What if she didn’t know what to do?

Asking for help is the first step and I’m here to help you if you want me to.

“Alex?” Supergirl reached for her hands and noticed how cold they felt “Alex, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, sure” Alex ignored her thoughts, knowing they would only make her anxiety and need for alcohol grow.

“You don’t need to go if you don’t want to,” Kara said quietly “I can figure it out, I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to” they stared at each other and Alex smiled.

“You owe me one, Kara,” she said jokingly

“Owe you what?” Kara frowned. Winn laughed and shook his head, sure that his friend was never going to get used to earthly speaking manners.

“Good luck explaining this to her,” Winn said and left the room, still smiling at how much an alien Kara could be when she wanted to.

The sisters watched him walk away, Alex noticing something was troubling her sister. The same look on her face when Kara found out she and Lena were becoming friends.

“Are you okay with me going?” Alex asked hesitantly “Kara, you know you can tell me anything, right?” the hero averted her eyes for a second.

“I… I know, but I’m afraid this is going to sound… stupid” she blushed “it’s nothing and I swear it’s not jealousy.”

“I know it isn’t, I know you and I know when you’re jealous” Alex smiled, trying to show trust “but you can tell me, I’m not going to judge you. Feelings are stupid sometimes.”

“Really?” Alex nodded “I’m scared of losing you two” Kara confessed quickly, almost inaudibly “Lena… she… she is an amazing person, smart, funny and so loving and I feel like I’m home when I’m with her and you’re the best person in the world for me, Alex. When I found you two were going out and becoming… friends, I…” she sighed “who am I close to you two, you know? Lena deserves someone like you, a friend like you… I’m scared I’m not her favorite person anymore…”

“Kara, that’s impossible” Alex laughed it off and sat next to the hero “that’s not the first time you feel this, you reacted the same way when I started dating Maggie, remember?” Kara nodded “each person has its different importance in other people’s lives and no one can replace them in that aspect. Lena sees something in you that she is never going to see in me, because yeah, I’m her friend, but you’re her best friend, the person who taught her to fight for what she believed and believed in her and now is in love with her” Kara felt her face go hot “and Lena is completely in love with you, you know that, right?”

“I think I do,” Kara said “It’s just… it doesn’t feel real sometimes.”

“But it is real and I promise you no one is taking your place in my heart” Alex lifted her hand and kissed it softly “just like no one is taking your place in Lena’s life, okay?”

“Okay,” she smiled with relief “I love you, Alex.”

“I love you too.”

 

***

 

“I hope you like the city and enjoy your stay” Lena commented, handling the papers, ready to be signed.

“New horizons are always welcomed” she smiled “and I believe this is a great opportunity for me.”

“I get it, choices are never easy but some are worth it.”

“And I see you made a big one” she pointed to the noticeable belly of the CEO “I never thought I’d live to see Lena Luthor pregnant. How do you feel?”

“Well, to be honest, I never thought I’d see it too” Lena confessed, caressing her stomach over her dress “but it had been… a rewarding experience.

“You can tell me the truth, Lena” she laughed “you don’t have to…”

“Sorry” Lena interrupted as the phone rang “just a minute” she picked up the phone “Okay, Jess, let her in. No, I’m done for today, thank you.”

In no time, the two women heard the door open and a shy tall figure with familiar red hair walked into the room. It was unusual for Alex to show up, and when she did, Lena always thought something must have happened to her best friend. A friend who, by the way, Lena didn’t know how to refer to anymore. What was Kara to her, now? They still hadn’t talked about the subject. One week ago, they were inside the same bathtub, taking a huge step on their relationship regarding their personal space and building a frighteningly passionate intimacy. They didn’t do anything past kissing that night, and on that same night, Lena slept in Kara’s arm, feeling her whole body and heart relax with the physical contact.

Contact was something Luthors were rarely given or taught how to deal with. As a child, neither she nor Lex was used to hugs or any kinds of affection from their parents’ side. Lionel was never present and the excuses had always something to do with work. Lilian was always around, commanding, giving orders, and making sure her children were always perfect for the family delusion. But she was never near Lena, and when she did, her cold distant stare scared the little girl who was uselessly trying to fit into that dysfunctional family. Lena didn’t know what hugs were, didn’t have anyone but her brother to console her when the nightmares got too scary for her to be alone. But even so, the prodigy boy didn’t know a thing about physical contact as well.

So when Kara showed up in her life and gave Lena her first hug, she finally figured out what was missing in her heart. Affection. Touch. Human heat. For any other human being, hugs can be the most simple and usual gestures, but for someone like Lena Luthor, it was like she finally felt inside that human world, opposite to the cruel, cold one she was raised in. So much time passed before Lena didn’t know about the warmth other bodies could offer her. Sure, the CEO had spent the night with men and women that came and went between her lonely nights.

But sex and affection are terms with such different meanings and weights. Kara didn’t give her lust and a night of ephemeral pleasures. Kara gave her her heart and the capacity to feel something other than anger, sadness, and bitterness. Kara offered Lena more than she thought she deserved: friendship, partnership, trust, and, most of all, a new look at love.

Kara resurrected her heart with that hug two years ago.

Seeing her friend-not-friend and sister-in-law-not-sister-in-law; Lena really didn’t know what she and Alex were now; she got up and let go of those confusing thoughts. If Alex was there then there were two reasons for it: either Kara was in trouble or Alex needed something. Lena had to wait and see and then make conclusions but, for now, Alex looked more embarrassed than ever, turning her eyes from the Luthor to the lady sitting in front of the white table, who got up with the sudden intrusion.

“Danvers, to what do I own a surprise visit?” Lena smiled, unsure of how to greet the woman in front of her. God, why was this so complex?

“Just checking if you’re not up to any evil plans” Alex joked, still feeling uncomfortable.

“Not this time” she rolled her eyes “by the way, meet my new CFO, Samantha Arias” Lena introduced the woman standing next to her “Sam, this is Alex Danvers, a… friend.”

“Nice to meet you” the woman shook hand with the redhead wearing a gorgeous smile “I suppose you’re sister’s or family with a blonde named Kara Danvers?”

“I am, and I assume Lena didn’t shut up about how wonderful she is?” Alex smirked, seeing Lena glare are at her. Sam laughed and shot a fun look at Lena.

“You assumed correctly, Alex,” she smiled “can I call you Alex?”

“Sure, Sam then?” Sam nodded and Lena watched the interaction with interest. Also thinking of ways to tease the agent about it.

“You’re impressive, Danvers” Lena raised a brow “I’ve been your friend longer and I don’t get first name treatment” she dramatized “I am offended and actually hurt.”

“Your hormones are eating your brain” Alex looked at her “first of all you’re the one who calls me by my last name and second of all since we’re friends” she smirked, “you could at least tell me your middle name.” Lena smiled, feeling the dare.

“Never, Danvers” Sam stared at them “I’d rather see curiosity corrode you.”

“It’s Lutessa” Sam intervened, making Lena’s mouth fall open and Alex snort “c’mon, Lena, I thought that phase was over.”

“You’re the worst friend in the world, you both are” Lena pointed at them “happy now, Danvers?”

“Yep” she nodded “I think we’re going to get along fine, Sam” Alex turned to her.

“I’m sure of it” she smiled “did Lena ever tell you about the time Lena tried to impress a girl in high school by writing a note using the periodic table?” Sam said if she was telling a secret of state and heard Len grumble behind her.

“Really?” Alex shot her head back with laughter “I am shocked, but not surprised.”

“Alex, what are you doing here?” Lena interrupted, trying to end the subject “besides provoking me and interfering in personal business.”

“I thought Sam was your CFO, not your friend” she provoked “anyways, I’m here to take you to the ultrasound and that stupid pregnancy class.

“Oh… did something happen to Kara?” Lena tried to mask her disappointment, she expected to see Kara today, it had been almost a week since they hadn’t seen each other with quality time. Their schedules never met and they were both drowning in work. They could only meet at lunch and even then Kara was always running out of time.

“Snapper asked her for a new article in a short time” Alex lied “so, she’s stuck at CatCo until after hours.”

“Oh, I see,” Sam noticed the upsetness in her friend’s voice and smiled sweetly “you don’t have to come with me, I can go by myself or I can cancel it too, there’s no need for you to accompany me.

“I’m not leaving here without you and there’s no point arguing with me,” Alex said decisively, hearing the other woman giggle “Kara said you have to change clothes so let’s move.”

“Is there anything I can do that will change your mind?” Lena sighed.

“I’ve only known her for fifteen minutes but I don’t think there is,” Sam commented.

“See?” Alex pointed to Arias “now let’s go, I’m not mentally prepared to deal with your pregnant mood for a whole afternoon.

“Shut up, you love me” Lena retorted.

Lena took a deep breath, she couldn’t believe Alex Danvers was about to go to one of the most embarrassing classes of her life. She was hoping today’s subject was something related to baby diapers and not pregnant masturbation, otherwise, she was not surviving the day.

 

***

 

The way back from the ultrasound was quiet, Lena was too busy examining the images of her daughter, and Alex was lost in her thought. According to doctor Cameron, Lizzie was fine - she was very excited to know the baby already had a name, though she still found it sweet the way Lena referred to her as Seedy - and said the Luthor had to increase her diet because her nutrient levels were a little low but nothing too worrying. In fact, there were low not because Lena wasn’t eating well, but because her little alien got her metabolism from her other mom, which was not easy to deal with. Lizzie was growing healthy, with over 5 and a half inches, weighing nearly 210 grams, with normal heartbeats.

Cameron asked Lena to return for a morphological ultrasound, for a more thorough analysis of her baby’s development and was happy to announce that Lizzie was a healthy baby without any development problems or showing any signs of malformation. The CEO felt her heart at peace with the deal and cried at the sight of her baby girl sucking on her finger. Once again, the doctor reminded her about the 3D ultrasound that enabled an image of Lizzie’s face, but Lena decided she wanted to meet her only after she was born.

During the consult, Alex stayed quiet and fought her bad, accusative thoughts that tried to get her mind. It was nice to see Lena happy with the pregnancy and she was sure Lena was gradually changing her mind about being a mother. Seeing her nice on the black and white screen hit Alex with a new sensation, a new kind of love. It was like loving someone she had never met, caring for a little, defenseless being that didn’t even know her and Alex couldn’t quite put a finger on what made her so emotional.

But once Alex heard the heartbeats and its melody travel across the room, Alex knew she was in love. Deeply in love. Where did all these feelings come from? God, she was a mess. In the middle of so much darkness and pain, her soul was alive and kicking in the shape of a little girl that could have Lena’s green eyes or her sister’s amazing smile. Looking through the car’s window, Alex imagined a dark-haired girl, using a blue dress over her pale Luthor skin and laughing as she looked at Kara laying on the grass.

Lena noticed how the other woman was lost in her thoughts, but her hands were shaking and her lips dry. Guilt fell in her chest.

“Alex?” there was no answer “Alex, are you okay?” Lena murmured, finding her hand and feeling it cold.

“Yeah” Alex choked, blinking too much.

“Alex…”

“I’m fine, Lena” she was cold and soon regretted the tone “I’m sorry, I just… how…. what does she feel like? What is it like… knowing she is in there and…”

She didn’t finish the sentence. Lena moved to the seat next to her with tenderness in her eyes, trying to give comfort and comprehension.

“May I?” Lena pointed to Alex’s hand and she nodded.

Lena took her hands to her belly, letting Alex feel the heat, the warm feeling it emanated, and softly hugged her heart. That was an intimacy neither woman thought could be achieved from that friendship. It was strange to be in that position, and a little scary to be so vulnerable, but Lena didn’t want Alex to feel so alone, she didn’t want her to feel she couldn’t be a part of that moment, especially when Alex helped Lena understand she was allowed to enjoy it, she was allowed to try. Lena owed a lot to her and wanted to pay it back the same way.

“Baby, this is you aunt Alex” Lena’s tone was somewhere between provocative and kindhearted “she’s is like a grumpy old man but we have to be polite with the elders” Alex rolled her eyes but something suddenly drew her attention? “did you feel it?”

“She kicked?” Alex gasped.

“Again!” they shared a laugh “this is Seedy saying she agrees with me.”

“Of course she agrees with you” she teased “wait until this seedy is born and I’m going to show her who her mother really is.”

“You wouldn’t dare” Lena held up to the provocation.

"Watch me,” she smirked.

As they got out of the car, Lena still noticed the spams on Alex's body and the way her hands were shaking. Her eyes were reddened and the CEO had a good guess what was happening there, especially because of the many times during the consultation Alex went to the bathroom carrying her purse. Lena was not naive, she knew what addicts were capable of, but Lena decided to wait for better timing to talk to her friend, or maybe wait for Alex to come to her for help.

“And here’s the mommy of the year!” Julie exclaimed, seeing Lena walk in “I thought I was going to be alone today” she complained, rocking Ezra with one ar,

“Hey!” Lena smiled back, but before she could hug her friend, the little boy raised his hands, asking to be held by her “wow, look who’s here!” Lena exclaimed and carried him with both arms “oh, you smell so good, I missed you, you know?” She kissed the soft cheeks.

“I think you’re his first crush,” Julie said, laughing.

“Then I think Ezra is the man of my life” Lena answered, while the little boy laid his head on her shoulder.

“How do you do this?” she asked, pointing at her son, and turned to Alex, who watched the interaction in silence “I don’t know how she does this” she sighed “I’m bringing you over to get him to sleep every night.”

“I might not give him back later” Lena provoked “by the way, Julie, this is Alex Danvers” she nodded “Alex, this is Julia, the funniest pregnant woman in National City.

“Don’t be silly” Julia laughed and greeted the other woman “is this the sister-in-law? I mean, her look reminds me of your wife.”

“Wife?” Alex murmured to Lena, seeing her face go red as a tomato. Oh, so they were married? “yes, I’m Kara’s sister” she answered, “and her sister-in-law, though I wasn’t even invited to the wedding.”

“How come?” Julie frowned. Lena tried to focus on the baby in her arms instead of that conversation.

“They got married in secret and well, I only found later” Alex was having fun “but I’m glad they decided to come forward and admit it.

“I didn’t know Lena Luthor was a coward” Julie teased “and you’re one of them, I suppose. Do you walk in packs?”

“One of who?”

“Yes, she is” Lena answered quickly, adjusting Ezra in her right arm “the gayest of us all” Alex’s mouth feels open “c’mon, Alex, who’s still straight these days?” Julie snorted “speaking of it, why isn’t Ramona here?”

“Ah, she’s at home resting” she explained “turns out one of the twins already is in labor position and that causes premature contractions. It’s not ideal for them to be born with only seven months.”

“Oh… I hope she’s okay” Lena sighed “I wish I could visit her but this week is a mess because of the holidays.”

“Are you escaping town?”

“Yeah, she’s visiting her mother in law” Alex answered for her.

“Alex! She’s… ugh, anyway” Lena shook her head “let’s pick a place and wait for the teacher.”

She gave Ezra back to Julie and grabbed Alex, walking to the middle of the room and taking two mattresses before putting them on the floor. Lena was praying to every god for that class to be about normal subjects or at least okay ones. What would Alex think if she knew about the massage sessions, the talks about sex and masturbation during pregnancy? Oh, God. Alex would never let it go. However, the Luthor had a plan B and would use it if it came to that.

“Hum, so you and my sister are married,” Alex said as if it was nothing “Eliza is going to be upset for the lack of invitation.”

“I hate you so much, you know that, right?” Lena closed her eyes, begging that nightmare to end soon “Ramona and Julie assumed it on the first day and we never… denier, or… I actually don’t know why we never denied it.”

“I do, but I’ll keep it to myself” Alex smiled “I didn’t know you had friends.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Samantha, apparently is an old friend” Alex continued with whispers as Zara walked into the room, saying hello to everyone “where do you know her from?”

“Metropolis” Lena answered, biting her lips ready to provoke her friend “we went to high school together but she had to start working early because had an early pregnancy.”

“Sam has a kid?” she whispered.

“Uhum, and sometimes she needs someone to take care of her daughter on the weekend” Lena smirked “someone that likes children if you know what I mean.

“You really don’t know how to be subtle” she scoffed “are you provoking me, Luthor?”

“Oh, of course not! What kind of person would I be?” her tone was beyond ironic “anyway, I’m giving her your phone number” Alex gasped “as friends, Alex. Jesus! You get it all wrong.”

“And you’re a bitch” Lena pretended to be offended, trying her best not to laugh “I’m not looking for anyone, Lena.”

“Neither is Sam” she shrugged “maybe you two can ‘look for no one’ together.”

“I hate you,” Alex whispered in threat.

"It 's reciprocal.”

“Well, mommies and daddies, in tribute to our dear Emily who is probably going into labor this weekend” Zara pointed to where she used to stay “today were talking about exercises that help during natural childbirth. I know a lot of you are choosing to go with a c-section, which is great, you’re not more or less a woman for it.” Zara establiched.

Both Lena and Julie rolled their eyes with the mention of the name, which was noticed by the agent.

“Okay, okay… what’s up with this Emily?” she asked Lena.

“Little miss perfection” Julie grumbled.

“She always comes alone and does better than any couple here” Lena explained, menacing “and loves showing off.”

“And hitting on other people’s wives” Julie added, “poor Kara, thank God you were fast enough.”

“Yeah, poor Kara, right?” Alex smiled at Lena, seeing her friend turn red “good thing we have a hero in the room, hm?.

“Shut up.”

“We have many types of exercises that can help you prepared the body for birth, like squats and pelvic inclination” the attention was drawn back to Zara “but we all know sex is one of the best exercises.”

“I’ll help with the squats and Kara can help you with the sex” Alex was having way too much fun, while Lena looked for a place to hide her face.

“Why don’t you go help, Emily?” Lena retorted “I think she needs a dose of your unbearable humor.”

“And miss all this fun?” she giggled “also if this is a competition, I’m here to win. Danvers’ don’t lose.”

“I’m not a Danvers.”

“Oh, really” Alex arched a brow “not what Julie thinks, Lena Luthor Danvers.” she said in her ear.

“Fuck off.”

 

***

 

The class ended at the usual time and they made it out alive, though both with a little less dignity than before. Alex and Lena both knew that friendship was made of sarcasm and teasing, but also of advice and venting, it was how they both dealt with their feelings. Lena trusted the agent, really trusted, and just like she gave Kara the chance to get close, she wanted to do the same for Alex. Even though Alex would never be like her sister for Lena, no one ever would, Kara was her favorite person, the one that made her heart race and makes her question everything she knew as a fact.

And Lena missed so much that the lack of her was compared to lack of oxygen.

As they left the place, Alex asked the driver to take them to a market and Lena thought it was a good opportunity to do groceries before going off to Midvale. Midvale, that place hadn't left her head ever since Kara invited her when her anxiety began to grow and Lena almost panicked three times. Lena had said yes to the invitation without thinking of what it meant. What would Eliza think of her? What were her thoughts on her name, on her family? Would she find a bad thing that her youngest daughter was dating someone like her? Someone pregnant with the city’s hero and also carrying the worst name in town. It felt like there was a war on her mind. Lena wanted to be the best, she wanted to cause a good impression, but now there was no more hiding Lizzie from the rest of the world.

They left the car and strolled around the long corridors, Alex on the frozen food section and Lena picking vegetables for the week. It was so strange to be on such a simple, domestic day with someone Lena never thought she’d be friends with. Alex looked serene, though there were still clear signs of her vice on her body. Lena didn’t know how to approach the subject, but she would think of a way because if there was something she would not let happen was her best friend’s sister believe she was alone. Besides, Lena heard the clicking of glass coming from Alex’s purse more than once that day, and that was enough of a cry for help for Lena to intervene.

“Look who we have here!” the two women turned around to see the third voice behind them “you really are pregnant.”

“Helena!” Lena smiled what looked like a frown, tensing up. That fucking day “how long, I… didn’t expect to meet you.”

“Of course not, you’ve been running from me like a prey runs from a predator” Helena smiled and turned to Alex “changed company already? Who's this now?”

“Alexandra Danvers” the redhead introduced herself, fixing her posture and holding the woman’s stare.

“Are you anything to that blonde one?” she asked with a shrug “correct me if I’m wrong, she was a Danvers too, right?”

“Hm…”

“Yes, I’m her sister” Alex took over “ and Lena’s sister-in-law.”

“In… law?” Helena frowned and looked over to the Luthor, who barely knew how to process that situation.

“Oh, I thought you knew what in-law meant, though I must confess I don't know what the concept of pregnant is” Alex was ruthless “it’s pretty clear, for anyone, that Lena is pregnant.”

“Alex!” Lena interrupted, deep down grateful for the agent’s attitude “Helena, I’m sorry, I’m really busy and in a hurry, I need to go back home before…”

“Hey, I’m here” Lena suddenly felt her body react to the voice behind her. A warm hand took hers and it was like the world turned upside down “uh… am I interrupting something?”

“Kara!” she turned around, forgetting everything around her “I… how…” she sighed “nevermind” Lena smiled excitedly and relieved.

“Right on time, Romeo” Alex whispered to her sister. Helena froze.

“I see you finally found what you were looking for” Bertinelli frowned “even though you’re a Luthor” she shot her last arrow, knowing the name situation always got to her.

But Kara stood in front of her and blocked the attack with ease and sincerity.

“Lena found a family that loved her despite her last name” the young Danvers answered back defensively “and if you diminish her like that, then I’m sorry to tell you, you don’t know her. The Luthor name isn’t deserving of someone like Lena.”

“Helena, I think you should go” Lena finally spoke up “we’re not friends and I hope we don’t meet like that anymore.”

“Whatever you want” she answered, with pent-up rage and a fake smile, leaving the trio alone.

“Kara, how did you find me?” Lena turned to the blonde and felt her body push her to a hug “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Kara was smiling like heaven.

“Ugh, at least wait for me to leave” Alex teased “and you’re welcome for calling your wife here.”

“We’re not married!” they exclaimed at the same time.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion” Alex shrugged and went back to her groceries.

Kara and Lena sighed and giggled, leaving the subject aside and holding each other close, ready to enjoy the rest of that crazy day together.

 

***

 

The days went by in the blink of an eye and L-Corp had never seen Lena Luthor so nervous like that week. Winter started to show itself with freezing wind and cloudier days. The roads were slippery, water fountains on the squares became hard like rocks and the rains were substituted by a cutting wind. However, those were not the reasons for the CEO’s nervousness. What was bothering her was the fact that in a few hours she would be traveling to Midvale with two Danvers to spend a holiday she never celebrated before. After all, what should she be grateful for in those twenty-six years of life?

She never had anything to be thankful for, not even as a child, her family celebrated things like those. They rarely had Easter or Halloween and the Christmas where often spent at mansions of unknown people that argued about the stock market and things like those, while the kids entertained themselves with games that Lena found particularly boring. Lucky for her, Lex didn’t find it entertaining either, so they used to search the houses for a chessboard, knowing every millionaire had at least one, even if they didn’t know how to play it.

Christmas, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, or even New Year’s Eve were things Lena only knew from movies with the same cliche every time. So at the moment, she couldn’t tell if what she was feeling was uncomfortable or just anxious for what could happen. Lena had a full conviction that Kara loved every celebration, always dressing up for the occasion and talking about the spirit of it. She was sure of it, Lena knew her best friend well and spent some holidays with her before. But still, she was excited, to say the least, to celebrate it lying, because Lena Luthor didn’t understand the point of those holidays but didn’t want to ruin it for the Danvers family.

Also, the fact Lena was about to meet Kara’s mom was driving her insane. God, she was about to go mad. Trying to ignore her silent panic attacks and crippling anxiety, Lena went through the day as if it was just another one. Got up early, as always, had a big breakfast - her daughter demanded more and more food over time - dressed with whatever clothes still fitted her, got Agnes ready to go to the pet shop, and left home, ignoring the fact she was traveling in a few hours. Fucking hell. Thinking about not think made her think even more. Her brain cells were euphoric inside her mind, in the bad sense of the word.

Lena did all the world she could, spent the whole morning giving Sam important papers and explain what should be done until her return, but truth was, Lena, trusted her friend’s capacity. Soon lunchtime came and Agnes was delivered to the company from the pet shop. The dog had the perfect scent, with a red flannel around her neck and shiny hair. Lena thanked the delivery boy and just as she thought she had the afternoon for herself, an unexpected visitor showed up, as always.

“Hey, did you order a pizza?” A gorgeous blonde smiled and was greeted by an excited dog, barking with happiness “Agnes, I don’t think you were the one who ordered it.” Lena laughed.

“Kara” her voice always melted saying that name, same as her heart, “I thought we were only seeing each other at the weekend.”

“What can I say, I missed you” Kara confessed without thinking and her cheeks went red “uh… I, I mean…” she scoffed “I was… missing you, truly.”

“We missed you too” Lena took the package from Kara’s hand and put it over the table, and then hugged her, losing herself in that feeling “are you sure you want to do this?” Lena, asked, breaking the peaceful silence. Kara frowned and stepped back just enough to face her.

“Do what?”

“Take me to your mother’s house, you know you don’t have to” she sighed “I can wait for you to come back, I’ll be perfectly fine on my own, I don’t…”

“I do, Lena” Kara held her face “I’ve wanted anything more and I’m being honest. Eliza really wants to meet you and Alex is super excited about having another person the pick on” they laughed “and I…” Kara sighed “I know were not… were not girlfriends and it may seem like too soon, I don’t know… I just don’t want it to be uncomfortable for you or…”

Lena interrupted her with a soft peck on the lips, showing her a fine with the situation. Kara let her body relax, alongside her mind. She was thinking about the week during the whole week and had to come up with countless excuses to take a break on CatCo and the DEO. At least with J’onn, she could be honest about the mess it was happening, which didn’t apply to James or Cat Grant because neither of them cared about the importance it that trip.

“I like you, Kara” Lena whispered, “that’s what matters, right?”

“Right” Kara inhaled, missing those lips on hers “it will be great, I promise.”

“I know it will” Lena hid her fears and anxieties, but the blonde could hear her desperate heart “we’re going to eat and…”

“Lena, you know you can tell me anything, right?” Kara held her hand and guided them to the couch, sitting so close their bodies could mix “what are you so scared of?”

“Ruining everything” she smiled sadly, tightening her arms around her friend’s body and hiding her face on her neck “of carrying the evil of my family into yours and not being what your mother wants me to be and of… not being good enough. What if I put you all in danger? What if…”

“That won’t happen, my love” Kara heard Lena’s heart jump with the pet name “I’m not going to let anything hurt you and you’re carrying nothing but my favorite seedy,” she said smiling, causing Lena to smiled relieved too “by the way, how did the ultrasound go?”

“She is well, big and growing healthy” Lena commented, “and still sucking her fingers.”

“I used to do that when I was a child,” Kara said, lost in her thoughts “I can’t wait to see her face and…”

“I’m not gonna lie” she reached for the pizza and opened the box “I also want to know what Lizzie is going to look like and I have been thinking…” Lena hesitated “no, nothing, nevermind.”

“No, Lena…” Kara pouted “please tell me, pretty please” how could anyone say no to that?

“I don’t… I don’t know if…” she suspired, nervous, hands going through her hair “I don’t know if I should say this out loud, but…”

“But?” Kara looked at her with so much hope Lena had to fight everything in her not to lose herself in those blue eyes.

“Promise me you’re not going to set high hope and that… you’ll keep this a secret” Okay, now that was worrying her.

“Lena, you’re making me nervous” Kara held her hands tight “what’s on your mind?”

“I have been thinking about the adoption situation and…” Lena closed her eyes “I don’t like that idea anymore. I think… I might change my mind.”

And that was the best news Kara could have heard.

Chapter 14: How to be a mother

Notes:

well, hello hello
how's everyone doing? Anyone excited for SG6? (I'm not)

anyway, here's another chapter.

don't forget to leave kudos and comments (I adore your comments)

without further due... enjoy :)

Chapter Text

In no time, Kara had to say goodbye and go back to CatCo because if she wanted to go on that trip, as James said, she had to be less hero and more reporter. Cat wasn’t a problem regarding that, in fact, the difficult part was convincing Snapper that every employee deserved vacations and the holiday's matter was included in the agreement. Kara rarely took vacations, she was always lost between fighting crime and dull articles deadlines. But what could she do? Kara was just a junior reporter. But then, James Olsen was the help she needed to escape those days to Midvale.

Even though she knew her friend was completely against Lena’s involvement in her family and life.

Equally to Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor spent the next hours walking through endless hallways, showing the company to Samantha and explaining every detail. Scared of leaving the dog alone in her office, Lena took Agnes on her tour and they had a hard time walking more than five steps without stopping. Everyone wanted to meet Agnes and soon the word got around and Agnes received more attention and rubs on the head than she could have in a month. Lena didn’t mind, at first, she was hesitant, thinking the dog would get frightened. But, Agnes surprised her, meeting the employees with her usual excitement.

 

Two hours later, Sam made her way to her office and let Lena know she was leaving earlier that day because Ruby had a science fair and she couldn’t miss it. That small information made Lena’s heartbeat speed and stump and imagine a future where she would drop her work because Lizzie had a school presentation. She was never a creative person and her thoughts were usually down to earth, but the way her mind projected a little girl with long black hair and bright blue eyes, smiling like sunshine was impressive. Every time Lena was taken over by those feelings, her breath hitched and her body somehow felt warmer, as if she was being hugged.

Finally sitting in her chair, Lena let Agnes go to the balcony while she finished signing some papers. A few minutes passed and the sound of steps behind her made Lena smile and she turned to the familiar figure in a red cape.

“You called, Miss Luthor?” Supergirl asked carefully, analyzing the room's detail. She knew them by heart, where Lena kept her favorite yogurts and even where her extra clothes were on the shelves “is anything wrong?”

“Nope” she smiled “just want to give you some updates. Can I get you anything to drink?” Lena got up walking toward the mini-fridge.

“No… but I’d have one of those yogurts…” she lowered her head, embarrassed.

“Oh, I thought your weakness was kryptonite” Lena teased, seeing her hero's cheeks match her cape in color.

“Er… they really are my favorites” she scratched the back of her neck, unsure of her reaction but then smiled like a child seeing Lena take a pink and with cup and give it to her.

“They’re your daughter’s favorite too” Lena commented. They said on the couch and she continued “which, by the way, is the reason I called you. I have new ultrasound images and I want to talk to you about something serious that has been happening.”

“Serious? Is it you? Is it the baby? Is it bad?” Kara choked over her words and the yogurt.

“Calm down, Supermom'' Lena smiled “Seedy is fine, growing healthy and giving me a handful. But it’s not about the pregnancy I want to talk about” she handled the envelope with the images and watched the woman open it quickly to look at every image of her little girl.'' Do you need a moment?”

“I don't… oh, Rao!” the hero raised her arms high as she was ‘attacked’ by an overexcited dog. Agnes barked loudly and jumped on her legs, begging for attention “Rao! Calm down!”

“Agnes!” Lena pulled the dog to herself but Agnes didn't give up, she was getting heavier and heavier because of the pregnancy “Agnes, stop! God, sorry about that” Lena apologized “I don't know what happened to her” another bark was heard.

Supergirl put the photos aside, next to the empty yogurt cup, and took the dog to her lap, letting her lick her face and sniff her hair.

“It's okay” Supergirl kissed her head and rubbed the back of her ears “I like dogs.”

“She's never like that with strangers” Lena was still embarrassed “I'm sorry. It looks… as if she already knows you.”

“Uh… er, maybe she confused me with someone else… maybe” she scoffed and put Agnes on the floor again “what were you going to talk about?”

“Honestly, I don't know where to begin” Lena decided to let the Agnes situation behind and focus on what mattered “since the incident with my mother, I started noticing some things that weren't happening before.”

“Like your skin?” Lena nodded.

“I thought it was just that, stronger skin, but… other symptoms appeared” Supergirl frowned, confused “I’ll show you” Lena got up quickly and reached for a small metal ornament, it was like but made of pure iron “watch,” she said on the sofa again and put it in the center of her palm. Suddenly she closed her hand and a sound of something breaking came out of it.

The CEO opened it again and just iron dust slipped through her fingers.

“Rao!” the hero’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened. What had just happened? Her mind screamed “Rao… I… Rao! How did you do that?” her voice came out in a higher pitch.

“Your daughter did it” Lena answered “and it’s not just that. I also don’t feel cold like before, I don’t need jackets anymore, I can lift really heavy things and I hope with my whole heart that I can’t fly, I hate flying and I’ll go mad if I’m suddenly able to do it” she rambled, filling Supergirl’s silence.

“I...” she sighed “how did this happen? I mean… you’re absorbing Seedy’s powers, but that would just be possible if your blood were mixing. I thought the human body had barriers to avoid that, like the Rh factors to avoid fetal erythroblastosis.”

“And we have those” Lena smiled, impressed “the baby’s blood flow is independent so the contact only happens in specific situations” she explained “you’re smart, Supergirl. I’m flattered to see the other side of the girl of steel” Kara blushed hard.

“Uh… thank you?”

“No need to be embarrassed or hide” Lena brushed it off and looked away “I’ve been doing some research on Krypton” now her cheeks burned “the technology is thousands of years ahead of ours, the discoveries and studies about the galaxies and stars and black holes. You were educated to be a genius of our time, so I assume anything I say is basic knowledge compared to what you know.

“Yeah… you’re right” she smiled weakly. Thinking of the past was still painful and the memories ached in her heart “certain things and subjects are obvious to me. But that doesn’t make you less intelligent or interesting… I mean, not interesting because you’re pretty and Rao! No, not pretty, I mean…”

“It’s alright, Supergirl” Lena smiled, having fun with the other woman’s sweet confusion “you’re not great with words, are you?|

“Nope, much fewer expressions and slang,” she frowned, “they make me so confused.”

“I understand and will try to avoid them while you’re here” Lena smiled. The clock was running and Lena still had to tell the last factor before something interrupted them “there’s one more symptom.”

The hero looked at her attentively and waited for the next information.

In reality, that ‘symptom’, as Lena got used to calling was something that took a while to come to her attention. It started subtly, noises that started off low and gradually gained strength like she was turning it up. She could hear the car honks on the streets, but not like before when it was just pieces of sound, now she heard every detail. She could tell whether the cars were close or not, she could hear conversations from outside her building and even though she didn’t live on the top floor - because of her fear of heights - her floor wasn’t exactly low either, and still, it made it hard to sleep.

However, it wasn’t that situation that made Lena realize what was happening to her. It was when she heard a sound, like knocks on a door. The knocks were weak, almost inaudible at first and they got higher, more audible, and taking her by surprise. Heartbeats. They were heartbeats. But not anyone’s heartbeat, not someone outside her apartment, they were from someone inside her. It was her daughter’s heart beating and now she could listen to it. And before Lena could process it, she was hearing other people’s heartbeat.

She heard Kara’s heartbeat at lunch and now she was hearing Supergirl’s.

“Give me your wrist,” Lena asked gently and Supergirl gave it to her. Lena then flipped it over and with extreme focus, tapped two fingers on it with a rhythmic methodic frequency.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s your daughter’s heartbeats, you see?” so she concentrated and focused only on Seedy’s heart. And noticed Lena was tapping her fingers at the same time as the heartbeat. Supergirl widened her eyes and once again, stared at her with confusion “and now…” she changed the rhythm with a little difficulty but soon got the hang of it “these are your heartbeats.”

“You… you can hear my heart?” Supergirl murmured in disbelief. It was weird to have someone with the same powers as her and even weirder than that someone was Lena Luthor.

Her best friend. Mother of her daughter.

What could she say? For years the kryptonian had to learn to dominate every aspect of her powers, focusing too much not to break her sister’s ribs in a hug or not hold her phone too hard. But now Lena was there, and she could hear her heart.

Rao!

No one had ever said that to her, well, no ever could do such a thing as Supergirl did. Kara didn’t know what to feel. It was too intimate, too deep and she wanted to explain how amazing it was to switch places, to know someone was literally listening to the heart. And if Lena could, then her daughter probably would too. She wondered if the Luthor was having trouble sleeping or focused, but she was too caught up in her own emotions to ask, close to tears. She couldn’t cry, superheroes don’t cry.

“Yes, I can” Lena answered after a long quiet “it started a few days ago. I didn’t give much attention to it, but it became clearer and clearer.

“And does that bother you?”

“A little bit but I like it” she admitted and her hands traveled down to her belly and stopped with a shy smile on her face “now I know that she’s here and she’s safe. It’s like a…”

“Security” Supergirl completed, lost in her thoughts “I know the feeling. I can hear your heart and Seedy’s. That’s how I know you two are safe.”

“I can hear yours and hers too” Lena sighed “is there a maximum distance your hearing can reach?”

“I don’t know, I never tested it” she shrugged “I don’t know anyone far from here, it’s just… me” the hero smiled sadly “why?”

“Because I’m traveling to Midvale and I don’t want you to be worried about us. I don’t know if you’ll be able to listen from that far” Lena smiled tenderly.

“I don’t…” Supergirl sighed “I didn’t think you… cared” she frowned. Sure, she also was going to Midvale so that wouldn’t actually be a problem. But her friend didn’t know that.

“People underestimate me, but I care” her eyes showed it “I really do care.”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me” Supergirl smiled and put one hand on her knee “have a nice trip, Lena.”

“Thanks.”

 

***

 

The most joyful part of that afternoon was Alex Danvers finding out they were going to Midvale in Lena’s private jet. When she got to the airport and looked at that money grandiosity, her excitement tripled, alongside the amount of swear words that came out of her mouth for a good minute. That, and Kara trying to stop her sister from swearing so much, after all, there was a child present. Not any child, a superchild. But that didn’t stop the redhead so Kara focused on her best friend and Agnes, who was running around the concrete area. Lena was clearly bothered with something and her hands were sweating cold, even with her body radiating warm heat.

As the pilot announced they were decollating, Kara figured out the two things that were scaring Lena: the first was the flight itself, she hated flying. Kara remembered what Lena told her earlier that morning, when she was Supergirl, that she didn’t want the power of flying. The second thing was that going to an unknown town to stay at the place of someone so important to the sisters was terrifying. As a child, even knowing other children and their parents, no one invited the other to stay at their houses. Every trip she did were business trips where Lena stayed at five-star hotels or other people came to Metropolis or National City and stayed at hotels there.

Lena didn’t have that kind of intimacy with anyone and no one seemed to care enough to build that with her.

“Eliza is dying to meet you.” Kara reassured, pulling Lena for a tight hug “thank you for coming.”

“Thanks for inviting me… I’m scared I’ll disappoint your mom” she murmured. Hugging Kara back and hiding her face on her neck, inhaling her scent “does… does she know… about us?”

“Yes, she does” Kara smiled, kissing Lena’s head. Alex was very comfortable on the jet’s couch, with Agnes lying on her feet and watching some noisy movie on the small tv screen “why are you scared?”

“Because she’s important to you and you’re important to me,” Lena said to Kara’s soft skin “you’re very important to me, Kara.”

“And you’re very important to me” she sighed “I promise you nothing bad is going to happen, Lena.”

“Even if I ruin everything?”

“That's literally impossible” Kara laughed “do you trust me?”

“Of course I do.”

“So that’s what matters” she kissed her head again, listening to Lena's breath gradually soften as she slipped away to sleep. Kara smiled with that moment, watching the clouds through the small window and letting her heart taste that feeling of security and affection “you two are what matter” she whispered.

 

***

 

Midvale was a peaceful town, its elderly residents being people that grew in those simple quiet streets, girls building families with their high school sweethearts and living the same way their parents did, with funny and cozy stories and lives. Most people there knew the Danvers, they were familiar with Jeremiah and Eliza, with their scientific discoveries and their two daughters. Well, it was also common knowledge that Kara was adopted and Alex was the sister that succeeded, the intelligent one. However, it was hard to find a resident that didn’t like them, or at least didn’t like Kara.

That was almost a fact. Hating Kara Danvers was impossible and tough hard work for those who tried to.

At the small airport, the trio took a cab to the family’s old house and got there a bit earlier than dinner time, a time that both Kara and Alex waited for anxiously, they talked non-stop about their mother’s food. Kara carried the bags to the door, which took some time since Lena decided to bring every outfit possible in five different huge bags. Alex brought the minimum amount of clothes, the same went for Kara since they had old stuff in their rooms. Eliza smiled wide as she saw the girls outside and brought them inside immediately, the cold humid wind was hard on that side of the American coast.

Unlike National City, a city of tall buildings that stood next to an almost forgotten ocean, Midvale was exactly on the coast, surrounded by a large sea extent and therefore having beautiful beaches for curious visitors during summer. And because of that, winter wasn’t so bad, but the constant wind, storms, and frost were alive and kicking throughout the whole season. Alex ran to the bathroom as soon as the door opened, in such a rush she didn’t even hug Eliza.

“Did you have a good trip?” Eliza pulled her youngster to a tight hug but was interrupted by an agitated Agnes, who ran between her legs straight into the living room.

“Agnes!” Lena tried to stop her but it was too late “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry, she seems lovely” Eliza smiles tranquil, seeing the other slightly more relaxed.

“Lena slept the whole way and Alex kept screaming at the guy from the movie” Kara answered, with Lena behind, rolling her eyes “but it was good.”

“And you must be Lena Luthor” Eliza turned her attention “I’ve wanted to meet you for so long” she pulled her for an equally tight hug. Lena hugged her back awkwardly, feeling her belly get in the way of it “oh, and you must be the seedy I heard so much about.”

“Mom, it was just a few days,” Kara scoffed “I didn’t speak that much.”

“Mothers don’t lie, honey” Eliza teased “write that down, Lena, you will always be right about your children, lying is a complicated task for them” Lena smiled delicately “maybe a hero?” she pointed to her stomach.

“Of course” Lena inhaled, trying to ignore the feelings bottling up inside her. She let the other blonde put both hands on her belly, slightly squatting so she could face it. Lena looked at Kara and she held her hand firmly, giving her the calmness she needed “Lizzie, this is Eliza” Lena murmured, putting her other hand next to Eliza’s “let’s be polite, okay?”

“Oh, I miss my pregnancy” she confessed “so many great unforgettable moments. It's a beautiful name I must say, and I’m sure she will be as pretty as her mother” Eliza got up straight again and touched Lena’s face softly “welcome, Lena. Make yourself at home and anything you need, ask me, okay?”

“Thank you” Lena nodded, holding back tears and smiling in trance “we’re thankful.”

“Mom, what about dinner?” Alex appeared out of nowhere and held her mom from behind “I’m starving? Can we have lasagna tonight?”

“Four cheese! No! Bolognese!” Kara joined in “can we have both?” Eliza rolled her eyes and Lena noticed how similar her pout was to her daughters.

“Okay, but I need you to pick some things from the market for me” she gave in and they celebrated “I’ll bake the pasta while you go there, but first be polite and take the baggage upstairs, show Lena her room and if she wants to sleep with you, Kara, I’ll ask you to keep the room clean” Alex snorted loudly and Kara’s cheeks went red, same with Lena’s.

“This holiday will be fun” Alex provoked.

“And don’t think I’ll allow that room of yours to become the mess you’re used to” Eliza interrupted “no go up, change clothes to something more comfortable. Should I take her things to the laundry room or would rather take them to the room?” She asked the CEO.

“Sure, Agnes sleeps with me” she explained “but the rest of the day she’ll spend downstairs.”

“Very well, darling” Eliza took the small bag with cute bone drawings and called the dog to follow her.

Alex rolled her eyes and helped Kara carry Lena’s heaviest bags. They walked through the hallway upstairs, Kara explaining where everything was, like the bathroom and useful things, and so arrived at her room, where she hesitated before opening the door. She touched the doorknob lightly, getting used to the nostalgic feeling of coming home, of having a home and belonging somewhere. It was intense every time.

During her first months on Earth, Kara hated having to adapt to a family that wasn’t hers, to a new room, to new rules. Jeremiah and Eliza were patient, loving, and let the girl relax little by little, allowing herself to feel and enjoy the opportunities that change brought. They let the little one decorate the room freedom, let her pick the colors, and explained that was her new home and her room was a safe space. Kara didn’t understand how a single room could keep her safe or how her parents managed to make it real. She only fully understood it when she moved to National City and had to live on her own.

“Uh… don’t judge me, okay?” Kara turned around, making Lena arch a brow.

The inside was still the same, cozy and warm. The walls were painted in yellow tones, covered with 90’s bands' posters and pop star's pictures, the ceiling had stars that glowed in the dark glued all around it. It was her favorite decoration. When Kara attended high school, Jeremiah gave her a double bed and let her pick a new studying table. Those were still there, the quilt was her favorite, a colorful flowery one with the clean smell of fabric softener

The scent always made her smile and breathe deeper, like taking in every particle could make this sentiment more real.

“I bet your sister’s bedroom is just black and grey and full of barbed wire” Lena smiled while Kara opened the curtains. From the window, you could see the beach.

“You know me so well, Luthor” Alex stopped by the door, already wearing a sweater and sneakers.

“Are you going to stop the bickering?” Kara crossed her arms.

“No!” they answered at the same time.

“I’m going down and get the car, I’ll wait for you there,” Alex said, going down the stairs.

“Darling, can you help me unzip?” Lena leaned against the door, taking off her heels, and held her hair up, pointing to the zipper. Kara felt her body tremble and swallowed discreetly, fixing the glasses over her nose.

“I like it,” Kara murmured, unzipping the dress until the end.

“What?” Lena said in a higher pitch, focusing on not getting turned on. And fucking hell. It was complicated.

“You calling me darling” she blushed, letting Lena turn around to face her.

And so her eyes got lost in her’s, so green, so crystalline. Lena held her face with both hands, caressing the cheeks with her thumbs and holding the stare up. It was in moments like these that the kryptonian was breathless and was sure her heart would burst out of her chest. She closed her eyes for a second, enjoying the tender affection and letting the feelings inside her grow even bigger. Suddenly, like a velvet whisper, her lips met hers, Lena standing on her tiptoes to reach Kara’s.

The kiss was filled with passion and both were off the world every time it happened.

“Hmm” Lena smiled over her lips “I like this, darling.”

“What?”

“Your kisses” their lips met again but we’re interrupted by Alex shouting downstairs. They laughed and Lena searched her bags for clothes, noticing her bags were put in Kara’s bedroom right away. Interesting “you go, I think I’ll stay in, today” she slipped her dress off her body, watching Kara’s eyes follow every move and her cheeks redden a little “I was standing for too long, my legs hurt and I just want to rest before dinner. Is that okay?” Lena looked up but there was no answer “Kara?”

“Yeah? Uh… I- yeah, that’s okay” she answered quickly and hugged Lena quickly “if you want to shower you can use the same bathroom as us, there are towels on the last drawer.”

“Can I wait for you to shower?” Lena smirked.

Oh, Rao!

“Su-sure” she smiled “I’ll be back soon” and kissed her again, Lena watched as she ran downstairs and heard Alex complain about the waiting.

Now that she was alone, Lena had the liberty to observe the room properly, having fun with the posters on the walls and closet door. The bedroom was everything Kara represented: it was warm, vivid with colorful and playful tones. There were pictures on the table and Lena almost cried with the meaningful simplicity of it. One photo shower a teenage Kara, blowing on candles on top of a huge chocolate cake for her fourteenth birthday, other showed a younger version of Alex hugging her sister in front of the school, and the last one was Kara’s high school graduation, wearing a red gown and holding her diploma, Eliza and Jeremiah standing on each side, eyes glowing with pride.

Lena allowed herself to feel the good emotions those pictured passed and changed to a light sweater and comfortable pants, putting on socks and not bothering to wear shoes, she tied her hair up and went back to the living room. The familiar smell of garlic and onion frying made her stomach roar with hunger. Lena laughed and slipped one hand underneath the sweater, caressing the skin and feeling a light kick.

“We’re going to eat soon baby girl” she whispered and made her way to the kitchen, finding Eliza working on the fridges on the stove and some vegetables on the table. Agnes met her halfway and barked lightly “are you hungry too?” she laughed “let’s get you some food.”

Eliza turned around not to find the intimidatingly powerful CEO or the firm impassible woman. She found herself looking at a girl that barely looked twenty-six. Lena was so comfortable, so relaxed, that she looked nineteen again when she had normal dreams and wishes like every other teenager.

“Are you tired?” Eliza smiled “taste this and tell me if it’s good” she called.

“I’m not a good cook,” Lena said shily, as the other woman put a bit of hot tomato sauce on her hand.

“Taste it and tell me” she repeated and Lena obeyed, paying attention to the taste on her tongue.

“It’s a bit acidic,” she murmured “I don’t know what’s missing.”

“Okay” Eliza nodded “when your tomato sauce is acid you can fix it in two ways,” she said, catching Lena’s attention “we either grate a little bit of carrot and let it melt or we put a bit of sugar. Which one are we doing?”

“Sugar?” Lena frowned, afraid that was the wrong answer “I don’t… cook.”

“Great choice" Eliza smiled “I understand that you don’t cook, when I was in my twenties I also didn’t, but had to change certain habits after Alex was born”

“Was it hard?” Lena leaned against the scene, watching the woman’s hand move with security “I mean, having a baby.”

“Oh yeah, it definitely was” she laughed “there were moments I wanted to give up, moments I was so exhausted I thought I wouldn’t make it. But then Alex would smile or call me mommy and I realized there was nothing wrong with just being tired.”

“I’m afraid I won’t be good enough” Lean confessed, unsure of why she was doing it “I don’t… I never had an understanding of it, how will I know how to be a mom?”

“We never do, Lena” she switched places and asked her to watch the stove “to be a mother, to raise someone and their character is like cooking. You don’t really know the recipe and there isn’t a right one” Eliza continued as she chopped the vegetables on the table “you test it, experiment it and observe what goes right and what doesn’t. There will be many mistakes and mistakes will make you feel like you’re the worst mother in the world” she sighed “but then your daughter is going to look at you as if you’re the most amazing person in the world like you’re the most important person in the universe” Eliza smiled “here’s a precious tip: don’t compare your daughter to other children, don’t think it’s bad that one kid learned how to speak with eight months and yours just said their first word with ten.”

Lena remembered Emily and how everything seemed so perfect to her.

“Do you like basil?” Eliza asked and she nodded yes “Alex hates it, just like Kara hates oregano.”

“So how do you do it?” Lena wrinkled a brow.

“I use yellow bell pepper and parsley,” she said “as a mother, you figure out miraculous ways to everything, like convincing your child that broccoli is tasteful and you can’t eat french fries every day. Believe me, you’re not going to learn it on the first day you feed them” Lena smiled and Eliza put the other ingredients on the boiling sauce “your daughter is unique, honey. Lizzie will keep being your daughter, even if you make every mistake in the book she will continue to love you endlessly. Because love isn’t in material things, in a pretty house or tasty food, it’s in your effort to make sure the world will be kind to her.

“Mom!” the moment was interrupted by Alex screaming and going through the backdoor.

“Alex!” Kara screamed right behind, “I thought you were my sister!”

“May I know what all this yelling is about?” Eliza questioned and saw Kara basically run to Lena “do not nibble the food, Kara Danvers!

“Damn it” Kara murmured, but Lena sneaked the spoon behind her and let Kara taste it “you’re my favorite” she whispered.

“I saw that” Alex pointed to them “you can’t trust a Luthor.”

“I’m only taking care of what’s mine.”

“Okay, Alex set the table, and Kara, go take a shower” Eliza commanded.

“Shall we?” Kara took her hand, smiling

“You two only shower together now?” Alex provoked, getting the plates and placing them on the table.

“Why? You want to join us?” Lena answered, smirking.

“You’re disgusting, Lutessa” Alex shot back, smiling as Lena got annoyed with the middle name emphasis “I’ll stay here with the only good Luthor in this household” she pointed to Agnes, who was circling them with a solo interest in the food.

“You’re just nosy, Danvers” Kara rolled her eyes at their snark but knew better than to try to stop it.

Instead, Kara pushed Lena out of the kitchen and they went upstairs, locking the bedroom door and finally feeling the holiday peace hit them hard. For a while now, the days they spent together with proper alone time were basically zero and they missed each other. Kara was happy now she didn’t have to worry about running away and giving an awful excuse to save the city, or having to tear herself between the DEO and CatCo. It felt good to be normal and live a life considered normal by many, but to her, was a lifelong dream. Not that she didn’t like being a hero, but every time she said goodbye to Lena, her heart ached because she was leaving behind the two people she loved the most in the world.

Lena helped her tie her hair and undid her shirt like she had done the first time. Then Kara took her pants and shoes alone, while the other woman undressed herself calmly and waited for the bathtub to fill. She had never been in such need of a shower, after walking for hours through L-Corp’s hallways and standing up for longer than necessary. Lena entered the warm water and let herself relax, feeling Kara sit behind her, placing each leg around her. Lena laid her head on her chest, clearly hearing the fast heartbeats and heavy breathing.

Kara was nervous.

“It’s okay, darling” Lena murmured softly, feeling the hardened nipples touch her back “it’s just us two here.”

“Us three” Kara laughed it off “are you in pain?”

“Hm, hm” she denied “just hungry” Lena smiled listening to Kara laugh and hug her from behind, arms joining on top of her belly.

“Lizzie, your mother uses you as an excuse to eat more” Kara pretended to whisper secretly “I’m so sorry.” she teases.

“Well, we are Luthors, she’ll get used to it” Lena smirked.

“Lizzie Luthor, I like the name” she confessed, though Kara wished her daughter would also carry her surname “can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” Lena turned her head to face Kara

“Why don’t you talk to me about… er, the changes that… your body is going through?” Kara felt her face burn “I mean not… uh, not those changes… I mean, the things because of the baby” she scoffed “Supergirl to me… well, that some things happened…”

Silence. How could Lena respond to this? Should she be honest? Should she omit something? God! Why couldn’t her life be simpler?

“Kara, I…” she sighed “it’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, I just… don’t want to push you away.”

“What do you mean to push me away?” Kara moved, pulling Lena on top of her and holding her tight.

“I’m expecting a child with a woman that I’m not in love with, that I’m not even friends with” she explained “She and I are in a good place right now because of the child, Kara. I’ve seen a lot of couples split for the same reason and I’m afraid you’ll feel left out, like an outsider, because Lizzie isn’t your biological daughter and you’re still with me despite it.” Lena let it all out, feeling the weight fall off her chest.

“Oh, Lena…” Kara held her face in her hands and touched the foreheads, silence reigning that moment and the two breathing slowly finding the same rhythm. Guilty and fear were eating her inside “I would never push myself away from you. Ever.”

“But what if…”

“No ‘buts’” Kara sighed “I love Seedy with all my heart and wouldn’t trade you and her for anyone…”

“Thank you for always being here” Lena kissed her, feeling the salty taste of tears in her lips and her heart pump in her chest “It means the world to me.”

“Thank you for letting me stay” Kara also heard Lena’s heart pump hard and loud “I made a promise, I’m not going anywhere, Lena.”

So Lena moved for another kiss, more urgent and filled with desirable lightness. They spent some more minutes in that loving atmosphere and got out of the water because the smell of dinner was driving both insane.

 

***

 

Dinner went well, Kara and Alex had a heated argument on who would have the tv that night and Lena and Eliza chatted about L-Corp's new projects. The lasagna was delicious, just like the rest of the food and soon dessert was served: lemon mousse to please Alex and chocolate pie to please Kara. Lena observed every action with care, paying attention to the details of the older mother and trying her best to make everything perfect for the daughters who were gone for too long. She felt sad, thinking of how hard it must be to let a child go and live their life.

It made her heart ache.

Letting a child go. How would Lena supposedly say goodbye to Lizzie? After five months and a couple of days, would she be able to watch her go and get used to another family, call another woman mother and never know her true origin? It didn’t seem fair, not to her and not to her daughter. Lizzie was hers and only hers. She wanted to hear her call her mama and watch her grow, she wanted to experiment Eliza’s exhaustion or rush to school presentations as Sam did. Something that caught Lena’s attention in the house was Alex's childish drawings on every holiday, either Mother’s Day or Easter. Eliza kept them all and ever put some on the wall.

Lena wanted that. She wanted to see her apartment full of drawings, of memories of baby Lizzie, of a small happy girl showing off her baby teeth and menacing when she was told no. She wanted to live those moments so much her mind was screaming for it.

In the end, Alex won the remote fight and Lena convinced Kara to go to bed, tomorrow they were going to the city and she wanted to be well-rested for the long walk. Eliza was the first to say goodnight and Agnes followed, leaving an impressed Lena. She couldn’t even say no to the dog because Eliza called Agnes up and let her bedroom door open, in case the dog wanted to change rooms later. Kara smiled and they said goodnight.

“What are all these books?” Lena asked, going through Kara’s nightstand, while the other woman put pajamas on.

“There are the ones I read when I… er, I was a kid” she hesitated. Almost slipping out something she shouldn’t “Eliza made me donate most of them but these were my favorites.”

“The story of Ferdinand, I never read it” Lena took a red cape book “Lilian wouldn’t let me read anything that wouldn’t give me useful knowledge.”

“I’ll read it to you then” Kara smiled excitedly, jumping over the bed and calling Lena to join her.

Lena laid under the hot blanket while Kara laid on her lap, opening the book with a childish smile.

“What are you doing down there?” Lena smiled at and caressed the beautiful blonde hair.

“It’s so Seedy can hear it too” she answered “Do you think she’ll be a bookworm?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you start her off?” Lena suggested and saw that smile grow even bigger.

What Kara had to keep a secret was how important that story was to her earthly adaptation. Ferdinand was a bull, as strong as any other bull, who was being trained for the bullfights, to be furious and intimidating. But he wasn’t like that. Deep down, Ferdinand was calm and like to spend time in the fields, smelling the flowers. He didn’t like violence, confusion, or having to be strong. And Kara had never felt so represented by a character. She knew what it was like to be strong and clumsy, what it felt like to control every move so no one would get hurt and do her best to not use her powers for something bad.

Kara was like Ferdinand. Sweet and calm, with huge strength but an even bigger heart.

She inhaled before start reading, her body relaxed under the fingers softly caressing her hair. It had been so long since the last time they laid down and watched a movie or spent time together. Kara didn’t really know when was the last time.

“Ready?” she murmured for the two.

“Whenever you are” Lena smiled back.

 

‘Once upon a time in Spain there was a little bull and his name was Ferdinand. All the other little bulls he lived with would run and jump and butt their heads together, but not Ferdinand. He liked to sit just quietly and smell the flowers. He had a favorite spot out in the pasture under a cork tree. It was his favorite tree and he would sit in its shade all day and smell the flowers…’

 

After she finished reading, Lena had fallen asleep and Kara could listen to the two hearts beat peacefully. Putting the book aside, Kara laid next to Lena and hugged her, promising silently that she was going to protect her family at any cost because she had never loved or felt love like that. And that quiet epiphany made her smile.

She loved Lena Luthor.

Chapter 15: Dancing in the moonling

Notes:

This one is so long, I swear

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The cold wet breeze made its way through the barely open window, making the atmosphere cozier and comfier. The sun was hidden behind heavy grey clouds, denoting a lot of rain to come. The room was silent, a woman with black hair covered in blankets and a cute fur ball on her feet. Her whole life, Lena never enjoyed the pleasures of a weekend or vacation. She rarely had any free time, her days were all about work, endless meetings with European and Asian investors, congresses all around the world. That was her life.

When she was a teenager, Lena promised herself not to end up like her parents or her brother, though she loved him with her whole heart. Lex was smart, a science genius, and could achieve whatever he wanted, especially because he was a Luthor and Lilian’s favorite. At thirteen, Lena was sent to a boarding school and there was no time to enjoy the extraordinary horizon Ireland showed every season. She had classes the whole weekdays and Saturday, going from early morning until six in the afternoon, then the monitors made sure every girl was in the library finishing their work and studying for the next day, then heading straight for dinner and going to bed before 9 pm. There was no time for breathing.

The athletic girls had to dedicate their Sundays, days technically made for resting, to sports. But the little Luthor wasn’t a big fan of physical brutality and therefore chose the chess club. The times she went back home was rare, not even for the big holidays like Christmas or Thanksgiving. To be very honest, throughout her school years, Lena only came back home twice. One was when L-Corp hosted a world event to release a new project and the other one was her birthday, but they didn’t celebrate it.

And so, every night before bed, Lena, feeling upset and just mainly sad, used to swear she wouldn’t let her life be like that once she had control of it. She wanted to be like her classmates, who used to leave the school on the weekends to visit the nearest town, who went to girls' nights and spent the holidays with their families, taking pictures and building memories. But that dream was over, her brother lost whatever remained of his sanity and all the responsibilities of the Luthor name fell on her, like a bag of sharp stones, bruising her deeply and making her realize she didn’t have a saying, she didn’t have a choice, again.

It was like reliving a cycle, not time for herself, to go out and have fresh air in the park, or just watch tv in her apartment. Life didn’t stop, Lena didn’t stop. In a blink of an eye, Lena was twenty-five, living in National City, running a multimillion company, and maintaining a strong, unbreakable CEO image. She learned to like her work, learned how to be a stronger, more centered, and balanced woman - at a certain level - but she missed having time to catch a breath. Going through a path like hers would tire any human being, and that was exactly what Lena felt: exhaustion.

The whole house was already awake, Eliza finishing some chores, Alex lying on the couch while Kara attacked the fridge. Lena was the only one still asleep. It was rare, no it was a first, Lena was always the first to get up, no matter the day or circumstance. However, her body was begging for a break, for a rest, after all her energy was being divided for two people at the same time, so it was well deserved. With those facts in mind and knowing her friend like the palm of her hand, Kara decided to cuddle her, let her sleep in, and bring her a great breakfast in bed.

Kara went up the stairs on tiptoes, focusing on not dropping anything, and opened the door with her shoulder, putting the breakfast on the nightstand and slowly opening the curtains. The light invaded the room with no hesitation, making Lena grumble and hide her face under the pillow. Kara smiled and sat beside her, moving the messy hair from her cheeks, and laughed at the inaudible complaints. Lena was not a day person. Kara got her face under the pillow too, finding the lovely green eyes staring at her with a sleepy, lazy look

“Good Morning” Kara whispered, catching a glimpse of a smile but the other woman pretended to be asleep “I saw your eyes open, Lena.”

“Damn it” she murmured and opened her eyes again, finding the blue irises looking at her with warmth “morning…”

“Did you sleep well?” they were still under the pillow and the proximity made it hard to breathe.

“Uhum,” Lena nodded yes and got up, sitting on the bed. Agnes felt the movement and yawned, already full of energy and glad to her mother awake “someone took your place this morning” she petted the dog.

“I asked her to take care of you while I made this” she took the breakfast with both hands, showing the work proudly “we have fruits, coffee, toast, eggs, Seedy’s and my favorite yogurt, because I share with her, but not every time because I think she eats more than I do and…” Kara laughed, realizing she was rambling again “sorry…” Lena smiled and kissed her, making her body shake with the touch.

“What time is it?” Lena asked.

“Nine thirty, I think” Kara answered, taking a bit of a strawberry.”

“Why did you let me sleep so much? It's almost ten!” Lena complained, looking at her phone screen “I never slept in so late.”

“That’s why” she smiled “you’re practically on vacation baby, there’s no need to rise with the sun like you always do.”

“Baby?”

“O-oh... I… it's a uh… a pet name… but, if you don’t like it or it’s too soon, so…” Kara tried to explain herself with gestures, and with every move, her face grew redder.

“Words, dear” Lena kissed her again “and I don’t mind, actually… I don’t think I ever had a pet name.”

“I can make so many up for you” Kara smiled, touching the tip of their noses.

“I can make so many up too” Alex walked into the room and threw herself, messing the atmosphere and making Agnes stand up to the invasion “but I like calling you Lutessa” she took the plate with the fruits.

“Alex! These are for Lena!” Kara tried to take it back but her sister dodged, laughing.

“Doesn’t have her name here” she provoked.

“How are you so insufferable?” Lena joined in “you want me to make you breakfast in bed too?”

“It’d be my dream” irony was dripping from her voice.

“You’ve been dreaming too much about me, Danvers” Lena recovered the plate, while Kara watched the.

“If you want to know the other, you’ll have to sleep with me” Kara scoffed at the words.

“Are you two always so disgusting?” Kara interrupted.

“Lena loves me, she just won’t admit it” Alex shrugged.

“Needy much, Danvers?” Lena smirked “I can let you sleep between us but I know a friend who would love to meet this sarcasm in bed” Alex felt her face burn and didn’t know how to answer.

“Who?” Kara alternated looks between them.

“No one.”

“Samantha Arias” Lena answered for her, hearing the redhead choke “oh, c’mon I felt the tension.”

“The only thing pregnant people feel is tense, not tension” Alex shot back, defensive “I’ll have this” she took the toasts and got up “Eliza is waiting for you downstairs, says she got a gift.”

And ran out of the room before the subject turned back to something she did not feel like talking about, leaving both women alone, laughing about Alex’s nervousness. After they finished breakfast, Kara explained to her that they were going to the town before lunch because she wanted to take her somewhere special, to talk about the city and her mother also asked them to go to the market to get some ingredients for Thanksgiving. Lena agreed and put on very comfortable clothes to walk because Lena was getting tired quickly and didn’t want to ruin it for everyone with her pain.

While Kara finished writing the shopping list with her sister, Agnes, with them trying to claim some attention to her, Lena walked around the living room to find the elderly Danvers focused on a book. She sat beside her and was giving a sweet look, surrounded by that wiser understanding energy. Something that Lena only got to know a few years before, when she met a cute talkative reporter. That time with the Danvers was substantially changing her heart, but Lena didn’t know what that meant. Eliza showed her a different type of love, one that made her feel safe and welcome, maskless love that hid no feelings.

It was like Lena could be herself, unafraid and unapologetically, because there they would all support her no matter what.

“Did you sleep well?” Eliza put the book away “I remember I used to feel so much back pain at five months. How do you feel?”

“More tired and sleepy than usual.” Lena sighed.

“Lizzie is growing and she’s going to steal all your energy, that’s why you have to eat and sleep properly” she explained, “I bought you something, it’s not grand but I hope you like it.”

“You shouldn’t have” Lena smiled awkwardly, seeing the other woman take a small blue box from her pocket.

“I got one of these when I was pregnant with Alex” Eliza opened the box, revealing a fragile golden necklace chain “Jeremiah had it done after we found it was a girl and when we adopted Kara we thought it’d be good to add another one” she showed her own necklace, hanging on her neck, exposing two small golden girly shapes.

And Lena realized her necklace also had two pendants, one was girl shaped and one wrote her daughter’s name: Lizzie. They were both tiny, delicate, and golden, like the necklace.

“May I?” Eliza asked and Lena just nodded, feeling a lump in her throat.

That amount of affection was getting to Lena and would break her at any time. Another wall inside of her crumbled and fell in a way she was already used to. Lena never thought of herself deserving of so much love and care, but there she was, receiving gifts and being cuddled and living with the family she always dreamed about. Lena still remembered the wishes she made to a star in the blue sky, to have people that loved her, accepted her, and made her feel as if she was the luckiest girl in the world. That dream disappeared after she was adopted and Lena realized Lilian would never be the mother she dreamed of.

Eliza placed the object around her neck and looked at her with so much care that Lena let a sob out. Fucking hormones.

“Don’t be like that” Eliza held her tight, caressing her hair.

“I hate crying but I can’t help it” Lena cried and laughed at herself “this pregnancy is killing me.”

“It’ll be over soon and then you’re going to miss it” Kara and Alex walked into the living room, waving the finished shopping list “because then she is going to grow up and be moody like Alex.”

“Mom!”

“I want you three back by lunch and don’t let Lena tire herself,” Eliza said in that mom's voice and dismissed them.

 

***

 

Alex drove peacefully through the empty streets on the holiday week when most families went away or just stayed at home. The city was well developed, but it didn’t come near National City or Metropolis, its tall buildings reached the foggy sky, catching tourists’ attention. The uniquely simple architecture went well with the green of the parks and big shopping malls, giving that seaside city a more luxurious look, and it was aesthetically pleasing with the small old houses downtown.

Not much time later, Alex parked in front of a public school that was still open for its last day before winter break. The kids’ screaming was audible from the streets, so many voices creating a sense of happiness and nostalgia. Lena frowned and studied the windowless building not understanding why they were there. They got out of the car and walked together, Kara intertwining their fingers and Alex leading in front. At the entrance, they were welcomed by an older woman with faded hair, who hugged Alex tightly and went on about how much she had grown.

The same went for Kara, who got embarrassed but at the same time, joyful. Then her look hesitated when she got to Lena, the only stranger there.

“And who is this?” The woman asked with sympathy and curiosity.

“This is Lena, my…”

“Girlfriend” Alex finished, making both of them almost choke. “Apparently you were right, Ruth,” she winked to the woman.

“I knew this girl wasn’t much into the boys” Ruth commented with a smile “you’re going to be a mother!” she looked at Lena’s stomach.

“It’s a Danvers thing” Alex continued “and yes, she is!”

“Alex!” Kara groaned.

“I’m so happy for you!” The woman hugged Kara again “you’re going to be an amazing mom” and so she turned to the Luthor, who was still quiet “it was very nice to meet you.”

“Likewise” Lena was dry, touching her belly.

“Well, make yourselves at home, recess is over and the kids are all in the classrooms now.”

The school was divided into two parts, one for the middle school and one for high school, the walls were filled with drawings, warning papers, and Christmas decorations. That was the place where the Danvers sisters grew up and learned most things they knew. It was where Alex got in so much trouble to protect her sister and where Kara learned how to be more human, making a few friends, having her first teachers and teen crushes. Nostalgia took over them and the CEO tried to take it all in with curiosity, she had never stepped foot in a public school before.

Halfway there, Alex told them she was going to look for a friend who was a teacher there and would be back in a second. They nodded and continued to walk until they got to the auditorium, where the walls were covered in senior class photos. The class went from 1990 to date, Alex’s name was in the class of 2003, and Kara in 2006. Many other names were written next to her’s, some she barely remembered. But some Kara never forgot.

“This girl really didn’t like me” Kara pointed to a name above hers “actually, none did.”

“I like that, keeps my jealousy under control” Lena joked and Kara cocked a brow.

“You’re jea...Will!” she turned around quickly to a guy that poked her shoulder “how long… I, I thought you had left” Kara hugged him and her smile largely, lighting a dangerous flame in the Luthor’s heart.

“Midvale has its charm and I couldn’t say goodbye” Will smiled “you haven’t changed one bit, still the girl with the prettiest smile in town” Kara laughed awkwardly and gulped, embarrassed with the compliment as always.

“Oh… that’s…” she scoffed, feeling Lena hold her hand “let me introduce you my…”

“Girlfriend” Lena promptly said, shaking his hand “Lena Luthor” her CEO posture took over. Lena rarely used her last name when meeting new people, to avoid judgment, but now she wanted to make clear exactly who she was.

“Now I get why you wouldn’t go out with me” he smugged, Kara’s face burning with no inhibitions.

“Words of a man’s broken ego” Lena jumped at him “won’t you admit she turned you down simply because you’re not good enough? It would spare you so much time and embarrassment.”

“William, interesting seeing you here” Alex returned to them and stood next to her sister “the guy that never took no for an answer, I thought you were married.”

“No, I didn’t go through with it” he shrugged, feeling uncomfortable with the three women.

“Keep that up, don’t lure a girl into that mistake” Lena provoked with fire in her eyes.

“Anyway, it was good to see you, Kara, Alex” he scratched the back of his neck “nice to meet you, Lena.”

“Can’t say the same” Lena grumbled but the two sisters heard her.

The man walked away, confused about what had just happened and Alex guided them to the school hall because the surprise they - the Danvers - had for the Luthor was about to begin. During the way, Kara felt bad about the way Will behaved himself in front of someone he didn’t know, lacking respect and bringing up things from the past like that for no reason. She let her sister go ahead and stayed behind to look at the woman next to her, also very quiet.

“I’m sorry about Will” Kara murmured, feeling Lena’s hand sweat “he… he was always… like that. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t worry, really” Lena sighed, averting her eyes “I shouldn't have… said anything or assumed we were something, I jumped ahead of myself, I don’t want you to feel obligated to…”

“I’d love to be your girlfriend, Lena” Kara smiled bright, leaving Lena speechless.

And breathless. She could hear Kara’s heart, just like she was hearing hers.

“We… can talk later” Lena changed the subject quickly, she was not in the state of mind to talk about that now “why are we here?”

“I want to show you something” Kara guided her by the hand and they met Alex ahead, going into the crowded room full of chairs and talkative parents.

They looked for seats near the small stage and the lights went out. Silence was made, except for quiet whispers, very audible for a certain Luthor and a certain Danvers with super hearing. A young woman with perfectly tied hair and a large smile walked towards the microphone in the center of it and announced a Thanksgiving presentation was about to start. As she walked out, a group of children around five years old walked into the stage, all dressed up. The girls wore old farmer costumes, some of the boys were farmers and the younger ones wore turkey hats, made by them probably.

“This is the story of the first Thanksgiving” a little boy tiptoed to the microphone to announce it and all the adults let out a cute ‘aw’.

The kids organized themselves and began to sing a joyful song to celebrate the holiday, dancing with no coordination. Some teachers helped the younger ones, while the older children had memorized the choreography. Parents took pictures and filmed the whole thing, having fun with their daughters and sons. They were proud. Lena observed the way some parents were shy and didn’t move as much, others were standing proud and some were even lost with so many children. Lena understood all of them perfectly, she felt the same. Her eyes teared up.

Lena was crying because she had never experienced a moment like that, never witnessed such a reality. Where children made presentations, showed their drawings and parents admired them with cheek hurting smiles. That could be her life, Lizzie could be one of those children, watching her from up the stage, a little shy and awkward, but once their eyes met, she would know exactly what to do. She would ignore the embarrassment and go on to make the best presentation in the world to her mother. Because Lena would mean everything to her. Suddenly Kara reached for her hands and Alex smiled, putting a hand on her shoulder.

It was the best surprise she could’ve asked for.

I wanted you to see exactly what it could be like for you, Lena” Kara whispered, hearing Lena’s cry quietly “when Lizzie looks at you from up there, knowing you dropped everything to be present, she’s going to smile and prove to you that, no matter any mistakes, you’ll always be the best mother in the world.”

 

***

 

They got home at lunchtime, the three stomachs roaring with hunger. Eliza was truly a great cook and her food was one of the best the CEO had ever tasted. Winning against expensive five-star restaurants from so many different cultures, the homemade meal prepared with so much love and attention just tasted better. It wasn’t because of the sauces or the food itself, but for the moment, the atmosphere and company. They ate until they couldn’t anymore, with great conversation and laughs, making Lena wonder if her life would be like that if she said yes to Kara and the new label.

The doubts weren’t about Kara, but her fears and apprehensions, because Lena had never been in a relationship that way. Sure, there had been Jack and he occupied an important part of her heart, but when she had to choose between her company and him, who she loved, Lena chose her company with no second thought. So, as much as she liked him, it was never true love, the kind of love that makes you reconsider plans, that makes you think of that person as an extension of herself. And Jack wasn’t that. Lena wouldn’t trade any of her dreams or aspirations or dreams. But Kara was her best friend, the person who trusted her the fullest and gave her much more than Lena ever thought she deserved.

Kara made her realize carrying the burden of being a Luthor shouldn’t be such a heavyweight that, yes, her mother and brother had made mistakes and made Lena pay for those and they still haunted her dreams. However, that weight didn’t belong to, Lena only punished herself for not realizing earlier, for not acting quick enough. Maybe that was her chance. Her chance to be really loved, to let someone into her defenses. But she was scared, scared they would fall apart because Lena didn’t know how to put them back up again.

After lunch, Alex and Kara went to clean the kitchen while Eliza finished important work. Of course, there was fighting before it, because Alex fought strongly for the tv remote and Kara shouted at all ears that it was her turn, and the discussion ended up involving water and dirty dishes. Lena shook her head, watching the two children yelling, and decided to use that time for L-Corp. She brought her notebook to the now empty table and began reading some emails, answering the relevant ones and forwarding others to Sam. Which led her to the thought it might be good to call Sam and see how everything was in National City.

Now that she was alone and the place was quiet, Lena skyped her friend. The sisters had gone upstairs to take a shower after the soap and water war.

“Ms. Luthor, should I remind you that you are on vacation with your girlfriend and her extremely attractive sister?” Was the first thing Sam said as she picked it up.

“Good afternoon for you too” Lena rolled her eyes “you know I like to keep all the tabs on the company.”

“Yes, I do, but it’s not because we like things that we should do them” Sam smirked, “and yes, of course, everything is fine here, nothing big happened while you were away.”

“A lot of work?” Lena asked, looking at her paper “did the investors say anything about the new project?”

“They provide more money so it would be done as fast as possible, but turns out we can’t accelerate labs” Sam explained “I have been working a lot, yeah, but Ruby has been coming with me since there isn’t school this week.”

“Tell her I send a hug” she smiled “and don’t stay at L-Corp too late, please.”

“Yes ma’am” Sam winked. But before Lena could continue the conversation, Alex walked behind her, heading for to the kitchen for a glass of water

The problem was, the only thing she had on was a large shirt from college, with a baseball team name and its pet drawn on it. The rest of her body was as naked as the day she was born and the wet short hair was involved in a white towel.

“Nice legs, Danvers” Sam commented, smug.

“Holy Shit!” Alex jumped out, almost dropping the glass “fuck, Lena! Why didn’t you tell me it was a video call?”

“I had no time” Lena pretended she cared “but I wouldn’t have warned you if I had had.”

“Don’t worry, Alex, I promise I won’t tell anyone about this” Sam was trying her best not to laugh “maybe you just made my day better” she teased.

“She’s very interested in showing you what’s under the shirt” Alex choked, hearing Lena’s audacity.

“Okay, I’m going to go watch a movie” Alex changed subjects quickly “I...uh, I’m sorry about this.”

“Oh, don’t be” Sam decided to keep the tone “Now I have a reason to be more relaxed at work” she winked.

“That’s what friends are for,” Alex said in the same tone, two could play this game.

Lena cocked a brow, considering leaving the two women alone.

“You’re not using that sentence with me, Danvers,” Sam snorted, crossing her arms and shamelessly staring at Alex’s body moving under the shirt.

“I can use whatever sentence I want, I just can't promise you what will happen later” Alex smirked, proud of herself for turning that situation of shame around.

“Aham, I’m still here” Lena complained, hearing Sam laugh out loud again “I ask to keep this decent and please, do it privately” the words came with a hint of jealousy that wasn’t unnoticed.

“Go have fun, Lena'' Sam moved on the screen “and don’t worry about me, I’ll always be here to annoy you. And you’re still my favorite” Lena rolled her eyes and the call ended.

Lena got her paper and notebook from the table and put them back in her bag. Leaving the bag in her room, she headed to the couch, where the sisters were laying down, Agnes between them. That fog had never been so cuddled in her life. Eliza was constantly feeding her pieces of meat in the kitchen. She was sleeping wherever she felt like, the couch, Eliza’s bed, although she always ended in Lena’s bed. Kara, seeing Lena approach them, quickly sat up and opened her legs so Lena could sit between them.

“I missed you, you weren’t giving me any attention” and pouted, earning a peck on the lips.

“I needed to answer some emails, but now I promise you my attention is yours”, she smiled tenderly but slowly grimaced, dancing moving her shoulder “though I wanted to continue my back hurts and I can’t find a comfortable position on the chair.”

“You two are so corny my lunch went up and I had to swallow it down again” Alex grumbled, trying to focus on the movie while petting Agnes under the blanket.

“I have the remedy for that,” Lena took a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it over. “the doctors usually prescribe it and use it more than once a day, it prevents stress, moodiness, and even wrinkles” the sisters looked at each other, confused.

Either Lena was serious or they were missing something.

“Lena!” Alex complained, reading the paper and Kara laughed out loud.

“You’re welcome” Lena smirked, “you can text Sam and start using the medicine that begins with an S.”

“With an S?” the blonde frowned “what is it?”

“Sex.”

“Serotonin.”

Kara stared at them, blank.

“Why do I even try?” She sighed, dropping the subject.

She began to press on Lena’s shoulder, going up the neckline until the ear and going back. She could feel the tension gradually leaving, as Lena slowly relaxed. Every time Kara touched her like this, something else grew inside her, because the desire was only getting bigger and they were doing nothing about it. Lena closed her eyes and moaned silently, more than grateful for the massage. However, she was turned one and her mind wandered away, imagining things she would never say out loud. They agreed to take it slow.

But that was almost a month ago.

“Ugh, Lutessa, if you’re making a porno here at least let me get ready” Alex threw a cushion on her face and received a mortal glare “don’t give me that look.”

“Stop being a killjoy, Danvers” Lena grumbled

“Oh no, no, no, I know joy very well” she retorted, making Kara sigh loudly.

“Okay, let’s change the subject” Kara scoffed. She was not talking about sex in front of her older sister with her… friend present “Lena, I want to take you out tonight. Is that okay? I don’t want you to be tired, or hurt or…”

“Of course it is” Lena turned her face and kissed her lightly, smiling at something inaudible coming from Alex “I just don’t want to stay up too late.”

“I promise you we won’t take long” Kara smiled, admiring the crystal green irises.

“Agnes, how do you handle this?” Alex questioned the dog who looked at her with confusion “if one day you need to escape, you’re welcome at my place.”

“Jealous much, Danvers?”

“Shut it, Lutessa.”

 

***

 

Hell ensued when Kara asked Lena to get ready and she went for a bath in the other bathroom. Lena didn’t think it would be so complicated or this painful. The moments she felt insecure about her body and beauty were somewhat rare. Of course, as a teenager, Lena went through the bad thoughts, the desire to go on impossible diets but with time she learned to accept herself and see she didn’t need to reach the standards. But now, with the pregnancy, her state of mind grew weaker, and looking at a mirror became something hard to do.

After the conversation she had with Alex at the bar months ago, Lena forced herself to try and have more positive thoughts. It was easier when her love for Lizzie was established and watching her belly grow warmed her heart, because her daughter was there, keeping her company and growing strong. Five months had passed, five months of drastic changes and acceptance that her body wasn’t the same, her mind wasn’t the same, but now it was hard. Not because the sadness about the lack of control over her own body had disappeared, but because Lena wanted to look pretty tonight.

Kara deserved all her effort.

Lena’s self-esteem went down the drain as she noticed stretch marks made their way on her lower stomach, showing another detail that added up to the huge change in her life. She wanted to cry and scream, it pained her deeply. Tracing the naked skin softly, Lena felt each mark and took a deep breath fighting against tears that insisted on falling. How could she face Kara with something so deeply marked? What would she think now that her beauty wasn’t the same as before? Lena knew her friend wasn’t futile but it hurt. It hurt to know those marks would never go away.

She sat on the bathroom floor with only underwear, make-up fully done, and tried to focus on something else. But it was useless. Lena was broken, inside and out and in these moments of shatter, her destructive thoughts invaded her. Her mother’s voice saying how irresponsible she was echoed loud, alongside the repetitive fear she wasn’t good enough for Lizzie, it broke her heart. How would Lena be strong enough for a child when she wasn’t even strong enough for herself? It’s just stretch marks, Lena repeated quietly, you’re still pretty.

Lena laughed cruelly, feeling another tear escape. She was pregnant, gaining weight, her clothes were all tight, neither of her best dresses fitted her anymore and now she was marked forever. It made her realize Lizzie would always be there. even if she signed the adoption paper, her daughter would still be in her body, in her stomach, her legs, her arms, and her bruised heart. Those marks were proof her girl was alive and writing something illegible on her skin.

Lena hugged her knees and allowed the tears to come out, too tired to hold the lump in her throat. Suddenly the door was open and bright blue eyes stared at her, confused but showing comprehension.

“What happened, baby?” Kara kneeled down fast, hearing the fastened heartbeat “Are you in pain? Are you okay?” she traced the long black hair and waited for an answer.

“Nothing fits me and I… I feel horrible” she confessed “I… I look in the mirror and don’t see myself, sometimes…” Lena raised her head and didn’t hide any of her pain “I wanted to look for you tonight…”

“Oh, Lena” Kara sat down next to her and pulled her close, Lena hide her face on her neck, breathing slowly “you would be gorgeous wearing a potato bag| kara smiled “you don’t have to wear the fanciest most expensive clothes you have, it’s just me, your friend/ And to me, Lena, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world” their eyes met “and if you want to stay at home, we don’t have to go anywhere.”

“No” she murmured, and asked a hand to get up “I… I want to go, but look…” Lena pointed to the white marks on her stomach “they’re so ugly, Kara.”

“They’re proof you’ve created a life for five months” Kara answered, putting a hand on her cheeks “they make me think of Seedy, of how amazing she will be when she’s born, and they don’t make you ugly, baby, on the contrary” she sighed “they make you even prettier. I know...it can sound like a lie or that I’m just trying to… help you, but I…” she looked away.

“Look at me,” Lena asked quietly, holding her face with both hands “take a deep breath, okay?” she nodded.

“I’m sorry, I just… I want you to know I really think you’re extraordinary and your eyes are my favorite and so is your skin and your hair and…” Kara blushed “your smile…”

So Lena kissed her, hard and passionate, trying to put all her insecurities and boxes and burying them deep inside her soul. There was no need to feel those things when her friend was there saying and repeating good mantras. What did Lena do to deserve someone like her? She never dreamed of having someone like Kara. It felt surreal, like an impossible dream or a beautiful illusion. Lena was still waiting for the day it would all fall apart because everything always did. Good things never lasted. Lena was never able to deal with personal relationships without breaking them into little pieces.

“I’m going to get changed but can we go to a quiet place?” Lena asked, hesitant.

“Whatever you want” Kara kissed her again.

Deciding against the impossible effort, Lena chose a light grey dress with long sleeves and somewhat loose, so Lizzie wouldn’t be tightened by it. She let her hair down, falling into place like a black waterfall, and searched for a jacket, knowing the cold wasn’t something to worry about. The sunset painted the city orange and gold, with majestic glisten covering the old sea and gracing every person with its greatness. There was something about the sun that always charmed Lena, she couldn’t explain but it always took her breath away.

They chose to go on foot, even though Alex insisted on giving them a ride since she wanted to leave the house too. The walk was reigned by a comfortable silence. The seashore was empty due to the wet freezing wind that ran in the afternoon. The waves punched the sand and ran back to the ocean, repeating the process with fascinating similarity. Lena couldn’t remember the last time she had been close to the ocean, admiring it, feeling the salty breeze. To be honest, the peace and quiet were very welcome now, especially after the bathroom incident. It made her forget about why she was crying and worrying because there, at that moment, it was just her, Kara, and Lizzie.

And Lena could get used to that. A family, she thought.

Her fingers were intertwined with Kara’s, her bare feet sank down on the wet sand and her skin shivered with the contact. Peace. It was like walking on clouds, floating in the hot golden sky, the wind kissing her face and brushing her hair. God, she needed that, that genuine happiness that carried no weight, that didn’t suffocate or scared her. Lena couldn’t even think about going back to her routine again, the meetings, advising, piles of paper, and the lack of Kara every day, not walking up by her side. It felt wrong.

“Dance with me?” Kara asked in a whisper. Her heart pounded in her chest and she had to be careful, otherwise, she’d end saying everything she was keeping inside it.

“I don’t dance” Lena frowned “and we don’t have music.”

Kara picked her phone from her pocket and chose a song, connecting the headphones. She gave one to her friend and let her put it in her ears. The melody was soft, giving her the sensation of being in a cliche movie, one of those that makes you believe in true love. That love you find in a random coffee shop on a rainy Saturday morning.

“Kara…”

“Shh…” she silenced her with a finger to her lips. Their bodies were closer than ever, Kara held her back and held a hand on hers.

Lena laughed with disbelief while the song continued on the gadget, so she moved alone, dancing with sand on her legs. The wind pushed her hair, alongside the blonde strands, and Lena realized how good they looked together. Everything seemed to fit so perfectly that her heart wished to never wake up from that dream.

 

'Come a little bit closer
Hear what I have to say
Just like children sleeping
We could dream this night away'

 

Kara twisted them in place with some difficulty and they laughed. They weren’t pros, no even amateurs, they barely knew what they were doing. Their foreheads touched, the harmonica played and nobody else heard. The lyrics, the verses, each chord was theirs, like a secret performance, a song only they could hear and understand its meaning. It was what made that moment so special, the fact that no one could stop them.

 

“Because I'm still in love with you, I want to see you dance again” Kara whispered with her eyes closed “Because I'm still in love with you, on this harvest moon…”

“Kara?” their eyes were still closed, heart beating on the same rhythm, souls intertwined.

 

'We know where the music's playing
Let's go out and feel the night'

 

“Hm?”

“I do” Kara stopped for a moment.

“What?”

“Want to be your girlfriend.”

 

'Because I'm still in love with you'

 

***

The rain was merciless that morning, washing away the trace of footsteps on the beach, turning the night before into just a memory. A beautiful memory. They walked back home with contagious joy, innocent stolen kisses, and no worries about what was to come. Lena fell asleep as soon as she laid down, tired from the walk and the emotional rollercoaster that last days were. She said yes to being her best friend’s girlfriend, what happened now? The two of them were afraid of not being good enough for the other, of dragging irreparable traumas to the relationship, overcoming their care and love.

The night bore witness to their almost inexistent courage and observed them sleep next to each other, arms holding their bodies like Atlas holding the world in his hands, silently begging it wouldn't fall down.

Lena woke up feeling lost, unable to find her phone and check the time. The sun was hidden behind a sea of clouds, leaving her clueless. Agnes had left the bed and so did Kara, who warmed the other side of the bed. Lena followed her morning routines and soon went downstairs, looking for any signs of life in the house. She found Eliza and Alex sat in front of the tv, talking about Alex’s routine and work, but what she wanted to know was where her girlfriend might be now.

Her body trembled. Girlfriend. It didn’t seem real.

“Good morning, honey” Eliza turned to see a sleepy Luthor “did you sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you” she smiled “where is Kara?”

“Back porch” Alex answered, “she’s with Agnes.”

Lena nodded and walked to the back door, catching a glimpse of a smiling blonde sitting next to an excited dog. Kara got up and ordered Agnes to lay down, to which she promptly obeyed.

“Now, sit,” she asked again “yeah, very good! Who’s the best dog in the world? That’s right, you are!” Kara gave her a snack and petted her ears “now, bark” she obeyed again.

“You know she only does that because she wants to eat, right?”

Lena commented, hugging the woman from behind and resting her chin on her shoulder.

“If I do the same, do I get food too?” Kara joked.

“You’re so dumb” she kissed her cheek “what are today’s plans?”

“Nothing, for now, Eliza is visiting an old colleague and Alex is driving her” she answered, turning to face her “are you tired?”

“Just hurting a little, nothing serious” Lena shrugged “I need a bath.”

“I’ll meet you there soon” Kara smiled and kissed her.

Lena observer her sit down on the floor again, she knew Kara would take a while but that didn’t matter. She made was way back through the living room, now empty, and went upstairs slowly, trying to be careful with her aching feet. Her sleeping shirt didn’t fit her body perfectly, leaving her lower stomach exposed because of the growing belly, Lena found it adorable. She traced the skin softly, trying now to freak out again, and smiled, reminding herself that Lizzie was well and healthy. The feeling of safeness she felt for keeping that baby there was confusing and always caught her by surprise. Lena knew the world was a cruel place, unfair when it came to choices and unforgiving most of all. She didn’t want her daughter to suffer, and so she loved the fact she was comfortably sleeping inside her belly.

As she got to the second floor, Lena observed the four doors positioned almost in front of one another. The last one belonged to Alex’s bedroom, which was in front of the bathroom. An instinct in her body made Lena wonder. Since the last pregnancy lesson, Lena hadn't talked to Alex about the tiny bottled in her purse, not that she hadn't seen them but she could clearly hear them tingle. Lena didn’t want to be invasive, especially because she hated when people were invasive to her, but she was afraid of asking and not getting an answer. Which wouldn’t be a surprise when it came to Alexandra Danvers.

Lena opened the door carefully, hearing the door creak, and observed the decoration. Unlike her girlfriend, tones of Bordeaux and grey graciously covered the room, objects of the desk and the bed's quilt. There were photographs on the bedside and the nightstand, books scattered on the shelves, and clothes thrown on a white chair. Alex’s smell invaded her lungs but something else caught her attention. Alcohol smell. Lena took a deep breath and walked to one of the shelves, finding her travel bag and opening it. Documents, receipt papers made an endless mess and, next to them, small bottles of vodka.

Lena wasn’t surprised. She looked under the bed and found an empty bottle of beer, some that Lena didn’t even see Alex drink or buy. Aware she had probably crossed every line possible, Lena left the bedroom and headed to hers, a bath awaited her.

She undressed calmly as the water went up the baths white walls, not paying attention to her reflection. She wasn’t ready yet. Lena put her clothes aside and tested the water temperature, smiling as the warmth touched her nerves. As she got into the water, every member of her body thanked her and she let the tension slide away. It was getting harder not to tire, not to feel the changes and her daughter’s weight. Lizzie would probably grow much more, keeping her from taking long walks or standing up for hours.

In mornings like those, Lena was grateful Kara got up before her. She didn’t like being aline but Lena wouldn’t be able to explain or control her body’s reaction every time she hugged her or touched her belly. Hot, she was hot again. Lena sighed, why did she have to be an endless well of hormones? Lena was tired of not relieving herself the way she wanted, the way she needs and her body might combust if she didn’t do something about it.

Lena took the handheld shower and turned it on, letting the waterfall on her neck. One hand caressed her breasts while the other aimed the water to her nipples, causing her skin to shiver and her nipples to harden. She leaned her head on the bath and slid the hand down, ignoring every sound from outside and focusing on where she needed to. Lena awkwardly opened her legs and slid a finger between them, feeling the warmth and suppressing a moan that fought its way out. In circling movements, she increased the friction on her clit and aimed the water directly to her center, her pleasure growing bigger.

She closed her eyes and let the moan out quietly, her body shaking. Lena knew that was not going to relive her current state but it had to work. She was getting closer to release when a loud knock on the door yanked her away from the bliss.

“Lena?” Kara called and she sat down quickly “is everything okay?”
Fucking hell.

Her heart pounded out of control and Lena felt a whole new type of irritation. She could cry about the interruption and the desperate need for physical contact.

“Ye-yeah” she gagged the answer, looking for her robe and unlocking the door “yeah, Kara I’m fine” she walked into the room, not having the guts to look at her face.

“You’ve been in there for a while, I thought…”

“I’m fine” Lena was firmer, almost dry and Kara looked down, she felt guilty.

She took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, I just…” Lena was sure to keep a safe space between their bodies “I’m just stressed and irritated about… somethings.”

“Tell me what I can do to help,” Kara asked tenderly, unsure as to stay in place or take a step forward. The room was still dark, windows and curtains closed, the rain hir the glass hard “please…”

What was Lena supposed to say? That she needed sex? That she missed being touched like that and losing her breath to orgasms? She didn’t dare to even put it into words. Lena sighed and when she looked at the woman in front of her, she saw two tender blue eyes staring at her with care and trust. Kara wanted to help her. Keeping that in mind Lena undid her robe and felt it slid down, the velvet touch being enough to light the fire again. She was naked and exposed, all details and defects there to see.

She stepped closer to Kara, breathing heavily and holding her face, her warm fingers electrified by her cold skin. They looked at each other with intensity and certain anxiety. Lena took her hands to her breasts, giving the other woman time to get used to the feel. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the moment. Kara panted and moved her thumbs over the hard nipples, ready to be touched, watching the other woman moan, hands shaking.

“What do you need, Lena?” she whispered.

“I need you to touch me, Kara.”

Notes:

Here's the song link if anyone wants it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2MtEsrcTTs

Chapter 16: I've Got You Under My Skin

Notes:

you guys didn't think I'd leave you hanging, right?

Don't forget to leave kudos and comments, they mean a lot!

Chapter Text

Many might say intimacy is the key to a loving relationship, it’s how couples get to know each other better, where they create a commonplace and see each other uncovered from the protective cape everybody has. Others might say it’s trust that builds love, respect, and companionship together no matter the intimacy, after all, any relationship - sexual or not - can be intimate. However, it’s wrong to think the two concepts aren’t intertwined.

Trust is a word that comes from the Latin ‘confidentia’, of confidere, which means ‘to fully believe, surely’ to believe surely. When you love, you trust and so you believe. You believe in their truths, in their words, their promises and believe that, as your heart expects the better, a better future for you, your partner believes the same. In a relationship, it’s the first thing one does and puts down the first brick of a wall of emotions. Because to be in a relationship is to care, and love, and show affection, like solving a puzzle of feelings. You find out the best place, analyze it and wait for the right moment to decide what to do, and give yourself a chance to have that small piece building your emotional character.

Trust is a daily action, even though it’s a noun.

However, walking right next to this action is intimate. The dictionary definition of trust states that it is: a feeling of mutual security; intimacy. You can’t keep those two apart when they complete each other. Looking even deeper, you may look at the definition of intimacy and it says it is ‘actions, feelings or thoughts that are personal to someone’ fitting this scenario perfectly. Kara and Lena were allowing their deepest desires to be seen, no masks, no second or third thoughts, no fear of judgment. They weren’t just getting rid of their clothes, they were getting rid of the barriers that were keeping them from taking that next step.

Intimacy: close familiarity or friendship; closeness. Trust: firm belief in the reliability, truth, of someone.

The room was still dark and the rain was still falling and they looked at each other with hunger, the heavy breathing filling up the barely existent space between their bodies. Trust was there, standing strong, while intimacy was slowly getting up, hesitant but always present. Kara kept her hands on her breasts, she couldn’t and didn’t want to let you. The waterfall of hair fell on Lena’s shoulders, covering not enough of her naked given body.

The tension in the air was more than palpable. Kara wasn’t expecting that level of honesty from her friend, no matter how much she wanted to listen to her moan and lose composure.

It felt too surreal.

Their lips met with unknown fury after the long moment of silence and contemplation. Lena ravished on her tongue, sucking on it, making her despair for relief clear. So Kara’s body reacted, rising temperature and sending electric waves to her center. They kissed until they lacked air and so Kara felt cold fingertips on her sweater as if they were asking for the next step. Kara stepped away enough to look at the darkened eyes.

“May I?” Lena asked with difficulty and was answered with a positive nod.

Much to her surprise, Kara wasn’t wearing anything underneath it. Not a thing. She smirked and bit her lips, that was going to make things easier for her. Lena tried to hold her face but was stopped. Kara held her wrists and guided them to her naked chest, Lena moaned quietly and slowly caressed them in blissful torture, listening to Kara pant and hold back sounds.

In a wave of courage and hurry, Lena moved her hands down to the sweatpants and slid them down, making the way up again with her fingertips to her waist. Lena traced the athletic legs with attention, watching the hair get up with the touch and her mouth water as her eyes met the simple underwear. She worked her way up to find her face again, tracing her face with the shaking fingertips, going slowly through her nose and lips. So her lips were kissed with urgency, her breasts touching hers. The contact and warmth made Lena mad, feeling her wetness go down her tights. She needed her inside.

They walked until Lena felt the bed behind her legs and so the mattress. Kara was over her, never letting off her tongue. They both stopped to moan when their sexes rocked against one another. Kara left a trace of kisses from her lips to her chin, going down her neck and making sure to mark every piece of skin she could find. She was never a dominant person when it came to sex, especially because she only had had it with men and they didn't accept that kind of control. But it was different now, Lena was at her mercy, body and soul were given to her with pleasure.

And what a pleasure, Kara thought.

Lena bit her lips, afraid she might come with just the foreplay. She felt light sucking and biting on her neck, going down to her clave and then her breasts. She felt sanity leave her body when a warm tongue traced her nipple and sucked on it, making her scream. Kara bit and licked every part of it while squeezing the other boob with her hand. Still desperate, Lena held her legs up and hugged her waist looking for more contact, but all she found was soaked underwear.

“Take that off, Kara” Lena requested in a whisper.

Kara got up at an inhumane velocity and took off the only piece left. She climbed up again and her heart almost stopped. She was about to make love with her best friend, the person she loved and swore to protect. Not just that, Lena was her girlfriend, mother of her daughter, and the most beautiful woman in the world. And she wasn’t hiding any identity now, not wearing any glasses or reporter clothes. That realization made her smile and so she laid down over her, kissing her softly until she felt cold hands on her ass, pulling her close. The hot wet sex was brushing on her abdomen, she was working whatever contact she could find, making Kara realize she had to hurry up.

“What do you need, Lena" she asked with a husky voice “I… I never…”

“It’s okay” she whispered back “my back hurts like this” the belly’s weight was making it uncomfortable.

“Right.”

Kara got up and sat on the bed, lying against the headboard. Lena understood the movement and walked on fours to the lap, sitting on her tights, legs open. They kissed again, tongues mixing tastes and hands tightening around their bodies. She began to move her hips over hers, moaning quietly and mentally asking for more contact.

Noticing it, Kara moved her hand down to the Luthor’s center, spreading the lips and pressing on the clit. Circling it and letting the liquid wet her hand.

“Kar-Kara…” she threw her head back, exposing her neck and grabbing on her hair firmly.

“Is that good?”

“Y-yeah… faster, please faster” she begged.

Obeying the request, she held her waist tighter and moved the finger with more precision, watching her girlfriend move her hips in rhythm, nails digging on her back. It wasn’t going to leave marks, it was impossible and for a brief moment, she was upset. Kara wanted those marks she wanted every memory she could get of that moment. Her own body was trembling and she thought she could come from just watching. She searched for Lena’s lips and suffocated her moans in a sloppy, thirsty kiss.

She had to focus not to exceed her strength.

“Inside, Kara” she murmured in her mouth “I ne-need you inside…”

She nodded and with extreme ease, two fingers slid into her, walls tightening around them and Lena stopped holding back, screaming of pleasure. She moved slowly until she found a good rhythm and they kissed again, Kara masturbating her firmly, fingers moving in and out, one time, two, three times until Lena was riding her hand. The room became unbearably hot, the smell of sex clued to the walls and sweat sticking on the mattress.

Lena closed her eyes and held on her shoulders tight, moving her hips fast and moaning as loud as she could.

“Kara, yes, yes yes,” her head flew back, her sight failed and her legs ached with exercise “I’m going to… Kara!”

Taking advantage of the position, Kara went back to sucking her breasts, alternating between the nipples. And that pushed her over the edge.

Her body tense and her legs good, she choked on the insisting moan on her throat. The spasms took her balance away and the hand inside her held her in place. Screaming for the last time, she let the orgasm take over her body, and then she was able to breathe again. Kara took her fingers out and hugged her waist, letting Lena lay on her shoulder and recover from the climax. She felt their bodies sticky with sweat and listened to Kara’s heart pound fast.

“Are you okay?” Kara moved the wet hair from her face and kissed her forehead. her super hearing got every heartbeat, Lena’s and her daughter’s. However, moments ago all she heard was moaning.

“Uhum” she nodded, sighed, and kissed her lips softly.

“Do you need anything else?” her cheeks reddened as she realized the malicious tone behind the question.

“I need more, Kara.”

Lena knew her hormones were out of control and leading to a no return path, but what could she do with so much desire accumulated from the past five months? Still high from the last orgasm, she kissed her lips slowly, sucking off her tongue and gently biting her lips. It didn’t take long for her to feel it again, the need, the wetness. With Lena still sitting on her lap, Kara kissed down her neck, hands going over her breasts and down her stomach, where she stopped, because her daughter was there and she could feel the love emanating.

“Don’t you dare talk to her now” Lena grumbled and panted, limbs trembling.

Kara giggled and continued to go down, sliding her body down until she was literally under her girlfriend, head between her thighs.

“Hold on to the headboard” she commanded

Kara gripped behind her hips and kissed the inside on the tights, going up to her sex and licking the remaining of the last orgasm.

“Open more, baby” Lena obeyed and positioned her knees on the pillow, now completely open and exposed for her.

Taking her time, she explored the sex with her tongue slowly, sucking off the stimulated nerve.

“Fuck…” her hands were white from gripping the headboard.

Kara smiled and repeated the action, ravishing on that taste, sure it was the best she ever had. Her tongue went up and down, almost going inside and then going back again. The Luthor gripped her hair with one hand and started to move on her mouth. She held her thighs harder, going in and out and listening to the sounds of pleasure, she let herself be taken away. She never had given so much pleasure to someone, and never got so close to coming by only watching

She could feel her own sex beg for touch, while the liquid went down her legs to the bed. She was desperate.

She closed her legs, trying to get whatever friction she could while tasting every part of her girlfriend. Who kept riding until she was on the verge of screaming and almost breaking the headboard.

“Kara, Kara!” her vision went dark as she called the name.

Her hair fell on her face and her breathing was hitched, she couldn’t feel her body.

Kara slid out again, coming out from her legs and holding her from behind, feeling the weight of the body fall on her arms.

“It’s okay, I got you” Kara whispered in her ear, her heart was drowning in care and gentleness.

Lena rarely got herself involved with the people she slept with. It was just pleasure, pure explicit pleasure. To fall in love or create affection was too complicated and took too much time, something she did not have. However, Kara was just any person. any affair she found in a bar. Kara was her girlfriend, the woman who treated her with so much devotion it caused heartache. She had never been held or treated like that during sex.

Everything was new and terribly exciting.

Both sat down on their legs, still keeping physical touch, feeling their sweat mix. Kissed her cheek and let her head lean on her shoulder. Lena smiled tiredly, but she knew she couldn’t abandon her girlfriend like that. A hand went up to her face and turned it to hers, the blue eyes and darkened pupils staring at her, the first time she saw her without glasses, breathing heavily. Her body was aching because of the exercise but she wanted to make her feel the same she felt. Lena kissed her passionately and one hand went straight to her inner thigh. Going up and sliding through her sex, Kara interrupted the kiss to moan slowly.

“Lena…”

“I know darling, just relax okay?” she nodded.

Without moving or changing positions, Lena began to massage her clit, the liquid running through her hand and the hips moving carefully. As her hands worked, Kara rubbed her nipple on her exposed back, just like her hands were also in her center. Without warning, Lena slid a finger in, getting a loud moan in return and a bite on her shoulder. She began pounding on her, firm and fast, letting her lean on her back.

She could feel the walls tightening around her fingers, showing she was on the cliff’s edge. Without stopping, Lena turned around and silenced her moans with her lips, feeling the vibrations on her tongue. Her own body was hot again, begging for more again. That’s when she felt her girlfriend’s warm hand move on her center, rubbing her clit fast.

“Come with me, Lena” she whispered hoarsely, Lena whimpered with the request pushing her to the edge.

They moved together, Kara invading her again and losing whatever was left of her sanity.

“Lena…Lena, yes!” she rode her hand, still moving her hand on her.

It didn’t take long for Kara to stop, trembling and screaming her name. Lena came at the sight. She felt the head leaning on her shoulder again, both with closed eyes, breathing heavily. Silence took over them, being the third wheel to the intense scenario. The sheets were a mess, one pillow was behind Lena and the other was god knows where. The iron headboard still showed handmarks and Lena’s skin showed bite marks all over it.

“Do you need some time?” Lena asked smiling, keeping the tender quiet tone.

“Hm...” Kara answered, cheeks red from the effort.

“C’mon, lay down with me” they moved apart and took the sheet off, laying on the bare mattress “I really need more sleep after… this.”

Still unable to answer, Kara lied down and her girlfriend pulled her closer, feeling her body slowly relax and her heartbeat goes back to normal.

“Feel this” Lena took her hand and put it on her stomach, where someone was kicking a lot “someone is very agitated too.”

“Uh, can we not talk about it” Kara was more than embarrassed “she might hear…”

“She heard you moan” Lena provoked, laughing as Kara hid her face on her neck “Lizzie is going to have to get used to that for now.”

“Lena…” she sighed, changing positions, now hugging Lena from behind “please…” she held her tight.

“Rest, dear” Lena murmured, tracing imaginary circles on her stomach “you two” she felt her kissed her head 

“You too.”


***

 

“You’re smiling too much today, Lutessa” Alex teased as they walked through the grocery store

“Not even you are going to ruin my mood today, let it be clear” she retorted.

The morning after sex was calm. Kara and Lena showered together and promptly tidied up the room before the other two Danver’s returned. Fearing Alex’s perfect timing for inconvenience and her bad luck to walk into embarrassing situations. But maybe her perception wasn’t as good as she thought. By the time mother and daughter came back, Kara and Lena were spread on the sofa under a heavy blanket watching a random movie on tv. Eliza said hello to them and went to the kitchen, lunch was going to be later than usual.

After a casual conversation, the three of them were sent to the grocery store because Thanksgiving dinner was tonight and they were all leaving tomorrow. J’onn called Alex in desperation, saying she needed Supergirl back and James kept messaging Kara, saying Snapper might murder someone if she didn’t come back soon. Sam was also in need of the CEO to sign important papers and participate in the endless meetings.

That dream was about to end and neither three were ready for it.

“What else do we need?” Kara asked as she returned to them “I got the spices, the pasta, table cream, yogurt…”

“Eliza didn’t ask for yogurt,” Alex said, watching her sister blush “why am I not surprised?”

“Darling, why don’t you go back and get us other flavors? How many you like” Lena said smiling and Kara went from frowning to smiling again “we’ll meet you there."

“Right!” she said, almost running back to where she was.

“You’re creating a monster, you know that right?” Alex went back to pushing the shopping cart, laughing to herself about how stupid they were “good luck controlling your girlfriend.”

“I have enough money for that” Lena joked “but I needed an excuse for her to leave,” she said, surprising Alex “I know about the bottles in your purse, I can hear them tingling and your breath is only getting stronger, even with you trying to hide it with mints and mouthwash” Alex kept walking, unsure of how to escape that conversation.

Truth was, she knew very well about her mental state, the way she was doing everything wrong, and didn’t have the guts to ask for help. It was like she knew she had to scream for help but didn’t have the voice to do so. Lena looked as=t her with so much patience and affection that her heart sank down, all she saw in those green eyes was understanding. Alex was never one for venting, of being vulnerable and showing weakness, but she was exhausted and just needed a hug.

“I’m sorry…” Alex murmured, tears running down her cheeks “I just… I’m sorry…”

Lena pulled her close, feeling Alex’s body for the first time and holding her tight. The height difference was the same as when she held Kara, but Alex was different. Her body was as warm and didn’t make her shiver when they met, in fact, Lena could hear her own heartbeat going still while the other’s was running out of time. She let Alex lean on her and waited for her to calm down, she needed her friend to be honest and actually ask for help. She wasn’t there to judge her, she never would, Lena just wanted to show her she was by her side when she needed it.

“You know you don’t have to apologize to me, right?” she nodded “You need to apologize and forgive yourself, you to let this anger, this hurt, and grudges out of the boxes you kept them.”

“Boxes?” Alex asked, Lena, giggled at herself.

“Yes, it’s how I usually deal with my feelings” she explained and they began walking again “I put them in little boxes and bury them deep, so I can forget I even felt that or can avoid dealing with them.”

“I think I do the same, I just… didn’t think of the metaphor” Alex tried a smile.

“It’s the same about the glass dome you talked about, we know very well how to hide, pretend and simply forget” Lena turned to her “but the more we keep things, the more it feeds off of our soul. It’s not worth it to suffocate on unsaid words, Alex.”

“No, you’re right” she sighed “but what am I supposed to do? I’m going to AA meetings or therapy, that’s off the table. I’m not going to worry my mother about this stupid thing.”

“First of all, it’s not stupid, and second, let me help you” Lena put a hand on her shoulder “I know we only address each other with sarcasm and irony and, trust me, I like that. But you’re my friend, Alex and I’m not saying that because I’m dating your sister. I care about you, just like Lizzie will once she grows up.

“Lizzie?” Lena nodded and guided her hands to her belly, Alex touching it over the shirt “it’s so warm…”

“Yes, there are some things that make this area get warmer” Alex smirked at Lena’s innocence “I’m not talking about that!”

“But that’s a reason too” Alex teased.

“It’s the reason it’s warmer today” Lena shot right back and Alex stepped away, menacing.

“Lena! Ugh!” she complained “I didn’t need to know that.”

“You were the one who brought it up, don’t blame me” she shrugged and they laughed “Lizzie is a sensitive kid, don’t ask me how I know that I just do” Alex nodded “I can sense it if she doesn’t like someone, even if they aren’t near me, I feel this discomfort, this weird nausea like I’m still on the first trimester.” she explained “but, when Lizzie likes someone, when they touch my stomach, the skin gets warmer and she sometimes kicks” she lowered the hand, and guided Alex until she felt a small elevation on the skin.

“This girl is going to be difficult, Lena” Alex joked, feeling her eyes watery.

“I’d rather not think about it” she laughed “she cares about you so don’t let her down. Fight for you, for your well-being because there’s a girl that is dying to know you in four months.”

They hugged again but were interrupted by a blonde carrying more yogurt than her arms could handle. Alex rolled her eyes and Lena laughed, hearing her stomach roar. Kara and Lizzie were two starving children in that store.


***


The cold windy night took over Midvale, but at least the rain decided to stop. Eliza had help from her daughter-in-law, now that she heard the news that Lena and Kara were officially dating, they cooked together, preparing everything for dinner. Alex was responsible for setting the table while Kara cleaned up the place since the three of them spent the most time there. Agnes was laying down but restless, changing positions and trying to find a more comfortable place. She was constantly surrounding Lena's legs, crying for attention but Lena would just give her some food and go on to ignore her. No one paid any attention until she disappeared

While the meat was on the stew, Eliza made them go up for a shower. However, Lena had forgotten her phone in the kitchen and went back. What caught her attention was Agnes’s pot was filled with food from lunch, even the snacks were still there. Lena frowned and began searching for the dog, on her bed, on the living room, or the back porch where Eliza had put a thin blanket for her to spend the morning. Agnes wasn’t anywhere until Lena came to find her in the laundry room, hidden behind the washing machine.

Her heart sank as she heard a low yelp, almost painful, she turned on the lights and the first thing she noticed was the liquid running free from Agnes’s genitals. The puppies, she realized and screamed for Kara. The blonde ran downstairs, tripping on her own feet and Alex followed her right away, worried about what might have been happening. All three Danvers arrived at the same time to find a kneeling CEO, petting the dog, face covered in tears.

“What do I do?” Lena asked fast, panicking “she’s in pain…”

“She can do it by herself, but she needs you here” Eliza explained “Alex, get some clothes and I’m going to call the vet to see if we need any medicine if it comes to it. Lena, you stay and Kara you keep them both calm” Kara nodded in her superhero pose, trying to show she wasn’t going to freak out.

“Hey baby, it's going to be okay” Lena kissed her cold nose, still listening to the low whimpers, and sighed “I’m here and you can do it, just a little more.”

“Come here” Kara pulled her close and they stayed on the floor, attentive to the dog’s labor.

Agnes kept licking her privates and sighing, growing more and more restless. The movements inside became visible and a yellow liquid came out of here, indicating the first one was about to be born. And it arrived in almost eight minutes sharp, small, fragile, surrounded by a transparent bubble. The new mommy pulled it with her mouth and licked it until the umbilical cord ruptured. It was male.

“It’s two,” Kara said, worried, she knew nothing about animals and their pregnancies

“Let’s wait for it” Lena kissed her hair.

Not much time later, the other baby came out, already out of the disgusting bubble. Agnes repeated the procedure while the other baby was already feeding off of her. She licked it clean and guided it to one of her breasts. The small closed eyes and wet skin made them look even more delicate and Lena cried with relief. The youngest twin was a female and she sucked the milk with hunger. 

Lena was so proud of Agnes her chest hurt.

She relaxed her body and leaned on Kara, who was still holding her waist, and touched her stomach. She wondered about the close future when she would give birth to a girl with unconditional love, that would make her wear her heart on a sleeve. Because that’s what it meant to be a mother, to have your heart living and growing next to you, teaching you how to be a better person, to understand the world with other colors and lights. Maybe the walls in her apartment wouldn’t be clean all the time. Maybe she would have to get used to Lizzie going to her bed in the middle of the night because there’s a monster living in her closet. What would it feel like to see her daughter’s face for the first time? To hold her in her arms? How would I feel to breastfeed her, build that connection, and make sure she was okay?

Lena couldn’t put what she was feeling into words, the emotional rollercoaster in her head made her confused. But a good type of confusion. On that Thanksgiving night, Lena Luthor finally understood that holiday’s meeting. She was grateful to have moved from Metropolis to National City. She was grateful to have met Kara Danvers, the reporter but not a reporter, the woman who believed in her potential and character and was thankful she still believed, changing as she needed to and strengthening what was already there. Moreover, she was grateful for Lizzie. The pregnancy certainly was unexpected, bringing her to a scary place and showing the world could be very cruel sometimes. Aliens aren’t much different from humans, they just act for more complex, archaic reasons.

Lena was conscious of the pain she went through, of how much it hurt to have her body violated and taken from her, but now she understood that some bad things come for the better and changes are necessary. In those five months, a lot was different, like she went through an emotional and mental clean-up. She learned how to accept her new safe, how to see herself as a strong woman even though she felt broken inside, and learned to forgive. There was nothing wrong with being broken. And so, she was grateful. Grateful that her daughter was there with her, growing and being loved by so many people. She was grateful that both Kara and Supergirl were in her life, she was grateful to have Alex Danvers as a friend.

Looking over to Agnes again and seeing Eliza by the door, watching the new mother rest while her babies were fed, the CEO sighed. She never thought she would be loved like that, she never thought she would have a real family. Leaving the laundry room, Alex cleaned the dirty clothes and they left the dog alone with her puppies, going up to shower. Dinner went well, as always and each person spoke about what they were grateful for that year. Eliza was grateful that her daughters were happy and always fighting to do the right thing. Alex said she was grateful to have met and made an unexpected friendship - of course without quoting names, she wouldn’t give the Luthor that taste. Kara barely knew what to say because she could go on for hours about it.

“I’m grateful for having you all with me” Kara smiled “for having an amazing mom, a badass sister, and a friend who taught me who to be strong. And I’m also grateful for Seedy, now I won’t be the only one hungry all the time” they laughed “And I want to thank you, Lena, for letting me participate and trust me even though I’m not the best at it. I hope we’ll spend so many more holidays together and that, although we're dating, you won’t ever stop being my best friend.”

“Never, Kara” Lena squeezed her hand under the table “I’d never let someone else take that title.”

Between laughs and thanks, the small family finished dinner and prepared themselves for the goodbye the next morning, knowing the calmness was about to end.


***


Snow fell on National City that December. Everyone wore a jacket over a jacket, looking for a place to hide from the bad weather, and children built snowmen on the park. Their winter break had just begun. The preparations for the month started big, the big Christmas tree selling like water in a desert, same with Christmas lights, dancing Santas, and collections of green red, and gold objects. The news only showed the growth of the economy at that time of the year. But no matter how lovely that season looked, Lena Luthor had to work.

L-Corp was running at full speed and this time the CEO decided to do right by Christmas. She allowed each section to be responsible for their decorations and bought small Christmas trees, put on almost every room. If they didn’t know better, people would never say that the company was run by a Luthor. The employees began to compliment their boss’ look frequently, saying how pretty she was with the belly and that maternity suited her well. Lena smiled politely at them, thanking the compliments and wishing them happy holidays to those still working that month. Many left on vacation to go be with their families and Lena couldn’t be more envious.

Sure, she loved her job and wouldn’t change it for anything, but she missed waking up late, getting breakfast in bed, watching the ocean on lazy afternoons, and her mother-in-law’s food. Every time she used that term, butterflies flew in her stomach. Both Lena and Kara were drowning in work. Kara had to cover every article possible to get in Snapper’s good grace again and the crime rating grew, making Supergirl double night patrols. Their days went from seeing each other every minute to casually meeting at lunch and trying to encounter Saturdays off.

Which also didn’t happen.

In midst of piles of documents and exaggeratedly long meetings, Samantha found some time for them to discuss the company's annual Christmas ball. That happened a week before the 25th. Lena never really got involved with the party’s organization because, well, she really didn’t care about being surrounded by arrogant rich people for a whole evening. But now she was curious to see how it went and was excited even, to bring her girlfriend as her escort. Lilian was the one who was usually responsible for the event and making sure everything went according to plan.

What hurt her the most was leaving Agnes and the puppies alone - neither of them had names yet. The first thing that invaded her heart as Lena got into the cold apartment was an empty feeling. There wasn’t life in there, or something that showed her presence because she wasn’t one to leave traces. It was what bothered her deeply and what made her worried for when Lizzie came into the world. Lena wanted to show the world that she was there, that her daughter was growing in that place and that her life was monochromatic anymore, but filled with colors. Her heart always skipped a beat when she daydreamed about a little girl dressed in red, painting something distractedly in her room and murmuring things to herself.

“We have to decide the menu and the playlist” Sam pulled her back to reality “I think it’s cool if you gave the party your touch, don’t you think?”

“I honestly don’t believe anyone is going to appreciate my music taste” Lena rolled her eyes “as much as I have gotten over my teenage punk phase.”

“I don’t know, I think we can fit a piercing in this tongue full of sarcasm and irony” Sam joked.

“Where is Ruby?” Lena changed the subject, curious since the girl was on vacation.

“At home, I hate leaving her alone” she sighed “but what can I do?”

“Are all Mondays like this?” she asked and Sam nodded while taking notes on a piece of paper.

“Ruby usually stays with my neighbor, who is a very nice old lady, but she was a thing with her family on Mondays and I can’t leave my daughter with some stranger,” she explained, making the Luthor wonder.

Would she ever have the courage to leave Lizzie alone with a stranger?

No, she answered herself, she would never have those guts.

“What if I find you, someone, to take care of her?”

“It’d be heaven on earth” Sam laughed “I really don’t like leaving her alone, I’m scared something will happen. Ruby might be thirteen but she’s only a child.

“I think Lizzie can be twenty and I’ll still see her as a baby” Lena commented, her tone going unnoticed. Sam knew about her choice and thoughts about the adoption.

“Given what you’re like, this girl will be the personification of stubbornness” she provoked “don’t worry about me, I’ll figure it out.”

“Of course I worry about you, I’m your friend” Lena smiled “now back to the ball.”

They shared and discussed notes until the end of the day and Lena ended up saying yes to a dinner invitation at her house, a way to spend more time with her and Ruby.


***


“What are you doing?” Kara tried to read her sister’s phone but was blocked.

That evening, they both took the night off to binge movies, since the holiday rest had ended abruptly. The first week went by in a flash, they didn’t even have time to talk, and so, even though it was Monday, they decided to lay down and relax. Alex bought enough snacks for her alien sister - which came down to pizza, potstickers, and ice cream - and soda since she decided to cut off the beer, at least for a while until she got a hold of her situation.

“None of your business” Alex answered, finishing typing “have you chosen the movie yet?”

“Uhum” Kara nodded, mouthful “why didn’t you get beer?”

“I’m… breaking some habits'' she said ominously and Kara shot her a confused look. Alex sighed and rolled her eyes “I don’t know if I want to talk about it, Kara.”

“Okay, let’s do this” Kara moved, placing herself in front of her “I’ll tell you something that you want to know and you’ll tell me something that I want to know or understand” Alex snorted, knowing her sister was too innocent and trustful.

“Deal” Alex reached for a pizza “I’ll start.”

“Okay.”

“Did you have sex with Lena?” Kara choked on her soda, coughing “and she didn’t say anything? Did have sex with glasses? You’re lucky Eliza wasn’t home.”

“Rao, Alex!” she scoffed “did you have to ask that?” Alex nodded smiling “Uh…I-we... yeah, it happened.”

“I know that it happened, it's basically written on your face” she laughed “what I want to know is why the Luthor didn’t say anything about it. Was it dark?”

“Rao…” Kara felt her face burning “I...don’t know, I just...got carried away at the moment, I didn’t have my glasses, she saw me the whole time, especially when she sat on my lap and began moa…”

“Kara!” Alex screamed, disgusted.

“That’s what she said” she continued, Alex pretended to vomit “you were the one who asked it.”

“Ugh, you’re paying for my therapy” she sighed “okay if she didn't say anything, does that mean you’re going to tell her the truth?”

“I’m considering it,” Kara said bravely, though she knew she would chicken out “I think…”

“Think?” Alex frowned.

“I… I’m still scared, but I’m considering the situation and I don’t… don’t want to keep hiding” Kara menaced “but I… I think she’s going to push me away and then I won’t be able to see Seedy anymore, to go to the classes and all. It’s going to be over before it even begins…”

“Don’t think like that, Kara” Alex patted her knee “Lena would never push you away like that. Sure, she’ll probably ask for a break from the dating thing but I don’t think she would keep you from seeing your daughter.”

“I don’t want to think about that now, I’m still creating the courage to do say the truth and lose it all again…” Kara exhaled and cleaned her face, smiling weakly, it was a risk she had to take, know that her friend wouldn’t forgive her and that her newborn relationship would be over as soon as it was out, but Kara owed it to her “now it’s my turn.”

“Right” Alex let her sister change the subject, dreading the next conversation “ask away.”

“Why have you been avoiding the bar and only buying soda? And who were you texting” she smiled, knowing her sister was very curious.

“Do you remember when I told you I wasn’t dealing well with my break up? Well, that ‘not dealing well’ became that vice… you know which know” Kara knew what she was talking about “yeah… and it kind got out of hand again and I was lost and hurt in the process."

“Oh, Alex” Kara pulled her in for a hug “why didn't you tell me? Why didn’t you ask for help?”

“I thought I could do it alone” she was honest. Kara knew how stubborn she was “but Lena has been talking to me and I must say she can be very persuasive, I don’t know how you get her to change her mind” Alex laughed “or do I?”

“Don’t change the subject” Kara stopped her “you two are the strangest, most stubborn people I have ever met but I’m glad you’re friends like that. Lena is very protective, she had that instinct ever since I met her, she fights for people she cares about.

“You’re so in love” Alex teased “but yeah, Lena is all that. And as for your other question, I was texting a new friend.”

“What friend? I want a name, surname, details, and music taste” Alex snorted and pushed her away “what? I’m just protecting you  from the world!”

“I don’t need you to protect me, I need you to pay for my therapy after putting certain images in my head” Kara laughed out loud.

“The fault is entirely yours” she shrugged “but what’s her name? Is that Sam person?”

“Yes, she needs someone to take care of Ruby on Mondays and since Mondays are my day off, I took the babysitter part. We’re having breakfast at Noonan’s” she explained “Lena was the one who called me for help and I think it will be fun.

“Yeah!” Kara got excited “I don’t know her yet, but she’s probably a great person. It’s going to be okay, Alex, you’ll see.”

“I hope so” she smiled “the same goes for you, Kara”

“I love you so much, you know that, right?” Kara kissed her cheek.

“I love you too, now put on the movie.”


***


That Wednesday morning, Lena woke up more tired than ever, her breasts ached and her shirt was still with a white liquid, what became usual in the sixth month. She had an ultrasound scheduled for Friday because it was the only day that Kara was free and they still didn't know if they would make it to the class. It would be the last one before New Year’s Eve. Lena got up lazily and looked into the mirror. Her belly appeared shily under her shirt, she would have to go shopping if she wanted to arrive at the ninth month dressed.

“Good morning, baby girl” Lena murmured sleepy, heading to the kitchen. Her stomach roared and she laughed “we’re going to eat soon, be patient.”

She made her way to the laundry room to find Agnes and her puppies on the new bed Lena bought them, with a new blanket and toys. She petted the dog, watching her shake her tail, still lied down, while the babies drank off of her nonstop. Lena filled her pot with dog food, changed the water, and went back to the kitchen, filling a cup with strawberry yogurt, which became a need during those months. While she was reading the news, and waiting for Sam to text her, her phone rang, showing the familiar name on the screen.

“Julie?”

“Lena, so you’re back in town, hm?” she commented, agitated.

“Yeah, and working like a dog,” Lena said, “did anything happen?”

“Nothing serious, I just called to let you know that the twins were born this early morning!” Lena’s mouth fell open and she left her food aside “Ramona had to go with the premature birth, but they’re all fine. She said we can visit her today, do you want to go together?”

“God! Of course!” Lena would never say no to that “at what time are you going? I didn’t even buy her something…”

“It’s okay, mama Luthor” she laughed “we can go somewhere before you get her something, I thought before lunchtime would be better, does that work for you?

“Yeah, I’ll call my CFO and cancel my meetings.”

“Wow, a businesswoman, so sexy” she joked “take your amazing wife too, also there’s a little boy who will be very happy to see you.”

“And I will love to see him,” Lena smiled. Ezra was probably the best man she ever met “call me later and I’ll pick you up.”

“Okay, see you later.”

Quickly, Lena swallowed her breakfast and ran to her room, taking a hot shower and wondering about what she would get the babies and Ramona. Still wearing a towel and a robe, Lena lied down and began scrolling for tips on what to gift recent mothers. Agnes had been so much easier, Lena thought to herself. There were so many options and cute things she couldn’t choose, deciding to pick it with Julie, who knew better than her when it came to this. Then she remembered to let her girlfriend know.

“Hey, good morning,” Lena said softly when Kara picked up the phone with a groan “sorry to wake you…”

“You…” she yawned “didn’t…” Lena laughed.

“Sure I didn’t, love” she smiled “do you think you can be free before lunch? We have an… emergency” Kara almost jumped out of the bed, fully awake and attentive.

“What happened? are you okay? Is it Seedy? Are you in pain?” Kara asked mercilessly “I’m coming over.”

“No! Kara” she stopped “calm down, I’m okay and so is Seedy” Lena laughed “breathe, dear.”

“Oh, okay” she sighed, feeling her heart calm down “okay, so what is then, baby?”

“Ramona gave birth to the twins this dawn and Julie invited me to see them, but I wanted you to come with me,” she said, “but I’ll understand if you can’t, I don’t want to get your way and we can schedule some other day.”

“I’ll go” Kara answered “Lena, you’re my priority, plus I’d love to see you before Friday. I miss you…”

“I miss you too, so much,” she confessed. The calls and texting and fast lunches weren’t enough. They both knew that.

“Can I sleep at yours weekend?” Kara asked, trying not to sound like a pervert “I just… wanted to be… close to you.”

“Of course you can, I’ll call you when it’s time to go.” Kara agreed.

“Lena” she called before hanging up. They stayed silent, surrounded by words unsaid. Kara wanted to say I love you, wanted to put the whole truth out, but she couldn’t “I miss you.”

“Me too…”

Still thinking Kara was going to say something, Lena waited, but nothing came. So they hung up, knowing they would meet later and Lena went back to getting ready. Some thoughts were making her anxious and two in specific dried her mouth. First: she was going to a maternity hospital for the first time in her life.

Second: she only had one more month before talking to her lawyer about the adoption. And though it was clear Lena had a complex emotional involvement with the pregnancy, she still had to make a choice and go for the rational decision.

Chapter 17: Make It Reign

Notes:

hello hello

this is a big chapter so I hope you all enjoy it

also, I'll try my best to update the fic every Tuesday (so we can have good sg content since the CW refuses to give it to us)

Don't forget to leave kudos and comments!

Chapter Text

As soon as Kara opened the car’s door, cold wind blew on them, making their bodies shiver with the temperature drop. It was practically lunchtime and soon visitation hours would be over, so they were in a hurry. Lena picked her friend up first, enjoying the opportunity to carry Ezra and fill him with kisses, making him laugh. He was going to be with his dad since only children older than twelve were allowed in the maternity ward - to be honest, Lena had no idea about that rule, she had never been in such a place.

“Julie!” Kara smiled to see the woman “How are you? How 's the baby? Where 's Ezra?” and put a hand on her mouth to stop her own rambling.

“Grace is fine, we’re good” she smiled “Ezra is with his dad and loved seeing his favorite auntie” Julie blinked an eye to the CEO “someone has to tell him to focus on the daughter, not the mother.”

“I missed you” Lena whispered to Kara, seeing the almost childish way she leaned on her shoulder and gripped her arm.

“I missed you more” Kara smiled, giving her a quick peck on the lips. Julie observed the scene with a smile, it was so hard to find loving couples like them these days. Like they had found true love with each other “and how is Seedy?” Kara caressed her daughter’s home, looking down.

“She is… here” Lena frowned, putting one hand next to Kara’s.

“Oops, she kicked” Kara laughed “I missed you too, baby” she whispered.

“Babies recognize their parents,” Julie commented, “especially their voices. It’s almost instantaneous, it happens a lot to my husband and even my mother sometimes. But always to him.”

Kara felt her face burn and didn’t give the courage to look at her girlfriend, thinking it was known she was going to figure it out. Lizzie was her daughter, blood of her blood, but Lena didn’t know that yet. Deep inside her, Kara wanted to tell her the truth, to be honest, and risk whatever she had to risk. Sure, she knew her friend, she knew how much she hated lies and secrets, after all her life was full of them. Some were fatal. But Kara was scared. What if she pushed her away forever? What if she couldn’t participate in the last months of pregnancy? Or worse.

What if, because of that, Lena decided to give Lizzie up? They hadn’t talked about it in the last days or weeks. Lena confessed to her that her mind was changing and she was getting used to the idea of motherhood. But what if with the truth, she decided to take it back? How could Kara live with the blame of losing her daughter? She would never forgive herself, would never be able to sleep again. She would lose her daughter and her best friend, it was basically her family. She wasn’t ready for it and didn’t want to be. That was a reality Kara wouldn’t survive, she couldn’t.

It would be worse, a hundred times worse, than the destruction of Krypton.

The maternity ward walls were, mostly, painted in white and light blue, except that part, with yellow pink, and green pastel tones. There were medical whiteboards on the hallways, many nurses and workers walking around fast. The smell of pure alcohol and soap impregnated the atmosphere, making it cozier and look like a maternity place. They went up the elevator carrying two gift bags and walked through the room floor. A lot of crying was heard, some doors were open and it was possible to see the new family members, crying or laughing, meeting their parents for the first time.

Lena observed each scene with curiosity, knowing she knew nothing about that reality that felt like an illusion only months ago. She never met a newborn, she didn’t know how they were or how to deal with them. Lena’s breathing got heavier, showing the anxiousness she was trying to hide, three months from now, she was the one going to be in those beds, Kara, noticing the heartbeat change, held her hands tight and smiled. It wasn’t like Kara was doing so much better than her girlfriend, after all, she had never seen babies so small beside her cousin Clark. And that was many many years ago. She was just as anxious as Lena. In no time, she would see her daughter’s face for the first time.

“You go in first,” Julie said low “to avoid a crowded room.”

“Are you sure?” Lena asked, but her friend insisted.

They knocked lightly on the door, hearing Ramona’s permissions to get in, and so they did, catching a sweet scent of chamomile.

The room wasn’t luxurious or big, it was actually quite simple. There was a bed in its center with two cradles, one on each side, a small table, chairs, and a bookshelf. All well decorated with the oceans of flowers sent by the relatives. Ramona was delighted to see them and moved on the bed to say hello. One baby was breastfeeding restlessly while the other squirmed on the blanket. Two boys, Kara noticed, so tiny. Their newborn wrinkles were noticeable, not yet looking like their father or mother, wearing similar clothes but in different colors. Both had brown hair and reddened skin.

“Look who’s here, son” Ramona took him out of her breast, covering it with the shirt, and turned him around “the richest aunt you’ll ever have” she joked, making them both laugh “this is the time to charm her and ask for gifts.”

“How are you?” The CEO kept the lower tone “are you feeling better?”

“Tired, but fine” she affirmed.

“He is so tiny,” Kara said while staring at the baby in the cradle “look, Lena” she pointed excitedly to her finger, held by a little possessive hand “he held my finger!”

“Theo had this habit, for what I noticed” she commented “he did the same to Thomas inside this belly.”

“And everything went fine?” Ramona nodded “we brought you something, actually we didn’t have a lot of time to choose it. I hope you like it” Lena put the bag on the table.”

“You shouldn’t have” she smiled, noticing the Luthor’s uncomfortable look, of someone that doesn’t know what to do or talk. She was out of her comfort zone and that bothered her, no matter how much she tried to hide it “do you want to hold him?” Kara turned to Lena, fearing her reaction. That might be too much for her.

“I don’t… I don’t even know how…” Lena sighed, feeling her hands in a cold sweat “it’s better not to…”

“C’mon, give it a try” Ramone positions the baby in her arms and asked Lena to lean down a little “You hold him on the bum with one hand and the other goes on the neck, holding the head like this” the CEO pretended to understand and received the baby in her arms, feeling the floppy and warm body touch her chest and cheeks lean on her holder “Thomas just ate so just don’t shake him too much.”

God, that was a lot of information.

With time, Lena took a deep breath and tried to calm down, concealing the anxiety from her face. Kara came near her, touching her arm and guaranteeing her safety. Lena could never describe what she was feeling at that moment. It went from fright to inebriating love. It was like holding the world in your hands, to look at your arms and know that the little human was yours and depended on you for their life. She closed her arms for a few seconds, letting herself be carried by the confusing strong emotions that hit her. Her mind wandered to a fragile little girl, with blonde hair and shiny eyes, maybe green.

She could feel her in her soul. Could feel that small body warming her and her little hand gripping her fingers. Three months from now, she thought, three from now I’ll have my own girl.

Thomas grumbled slowly, then burping and shrinking his legs. His clothes were large, making him look even smaller. Guided by instinct, not knowing why, Lena tapped him lightly on the back, kissing his head and gently rocking her body, never moving fast. Ramona observed her son with the woman and noticed how Kara never looked away from her wife - who was her girlfriend. As if she was hypnotized, smiling something that could make her face sore and her eyes shone with love. They were going to be the most loving mothers in the world.

“He likes you, Lena” Kara murmured, gently stroking his thin hair “oh… he’s falling asleep” she whispered.

“You think so?” Lena doubted, hands caressing the small back “this is the best feeling in the world…”

“Your time is coming soon” Ramona commented, taking Theo off the cradle to feed him to “you just got into the sixth month, right?”

“Yeah” Lena changed Thomas’s position and lied him on her arm, but the little one soon looked for her breast, brushing his nose on her dress “oh, no, no…” she smiled “this isn’t yours, it’s Lizzie’s.”

“C’mon, Lena, he’s hungry” Kara teased “Thomas is one of mine.”

“Lizzie and you are more than enough, dear” she retorted “the plot you two have against me will leave me bankrupt” Kara felt her face burn and Ramona snorted “and if she is like you then I don’t think she’ll be fond of sharing food.”

Yeah, Kara smiled to herself, she’s got a point.

“You can put him in the cradle if you want to” Lena sighed, almost begging for more time with him “or you can keep carrying him” she laughed “when it’s the next ultrasound?”

“Saturday morning” Kara answered, now Thomas was fully asleep, holding her finger “Sedy is now the size of a carrot.”

“You two are the cutest couple” Ramone smiled “Lizzie Luthor Danvers, that’s going to be the name, right? I think it’s beautiful.

“I… uh…” Kara almost choked on air and fixed the glasses on her face. Oh Rao, how were they answering that?

“It’s a wonderful name” Lena responded for her “though I wish it was just Danvers.”

Okay, that caught the Kryptonian by surprise. Was Lena serious or just pretending for the sake of the we-are-married-but-not-really lie?

Oh, Rao!

“No matter what your family had done, a name doesn’t define you” Ramona stood up for her friend “if it were like that, I wouldn’t have married my husband since his grandfather was convicted of murder.”

“I didn’t know that,” she murmured.

“That’s why I tell you, your daughter deserves to carry her mother’s name because you are her prime example, not your family” she explained, “her life, love, strength model will be entirely focused on you, so don’t let her think she doesn’t deserve to have the same as you have.”

“Thank you” Lena looked down at the baby, trying not to cry.

Her thoughts got lost again and she felt another wall inside her crumble. The baby’s breath warmed her chest, making her feel unusual tranquility. Lena didn't know where this was leading or how truthful she was going to be when the time came to sign the adoption papers. Right now, all her heart was asking for was some time and patience, nothing should be decided in a hurry, in the heat of the moment, everything was going to work out in time. Kara got closer, putting her chin on her shoulder and hugging her from behind, enjoying that moment of peace and love. Kara could clearly picture her daughter in her mother’s hand, smiling tenderly.

And at the moment, Kara decided that the three words, so intense and important should be said. The truth couldn’t wait.

 

***

 

Noona’s was a well-known coffee shop downtown, a quiet simple place to talk to friends or just have a nice cup of coffee. It never was crowded, but the smell of fresh bread and waffles in the morning caught the attention of many. The place was frequented by rich businessmen and families with small children and everyone in between, even old ladies that sat down to each just made sweets in the afternoon. And it was Kara’s favorite coffee shop. Lena was very aware of that and used to order take out every now and then

But Alex wasn’t a fan of there like her sister, preferring the bar where Maggie took her over a year ago. The memory of it ached in her chest, of something that was unresolved, a loose ending. Or maybe it was just in her head because detective Sawyer had definitely moved on, burying their memories deep inside, and moving on to a new chapter of her life. It hurt, Alex couldn’t deny it, and her instinct told her to run away, to avoid this meeting with Samantha and tell her she couldn’t take care of her daughter because only talking about the subject made her heart bleed. How could Alex put up with that task without falling apart again?

She sighed. She wouldn’t be a coward, she wouldn’t run away and let her dreams only live inside her head. She deserved to get over it and she would, even if help was needed.

“Danvers?” A woman pulled her away from her thoughts and smiled shyly “I must admit that the description Lena had of you wasn’t of much help today.”

“And may I know how that Luthor described me?” Alex cocked a brow, pointing to the vacant chair.

“Redhead, strong, sarcastic humor, enviable body and the most interesting woman I’ll ever meet beside her” they laughed “and I want to find out if that’s true.”

“Well, for good or bad, she’s right,” she smirked, “but I’m far more interesting than her.”

“She also said you were going to say that” Alex rolled her eyes “have you eaten yet?”

“Just a cappuccino” she pointed to an empty cup on the table “let’s order and you can tell me more about your arrival at Metropolis.”

“Hm, a curious woman” Sam smiled “I’m the one who should be asking the questions, after all, you’re babysitting my daughter for a whole day” she dramatized, making Alex laugh “it’s a very important job, you’re gonna be exhausted.”

“I like challenges” Alex relaxed “how old is she?”

“Thirteen, she’s at that phase she thinks she can do and decide everything by herself” she rolled her eyes “but I can’t complain, Ruby is a lot less work than some kids I know.”

The waiter approached the table and they paused the conversation to order. Alex asked for another cappuccino and her sister’s favorite waffled, Sam asked the same but with a black coffee instead. Apparently, Sam and Lena were more alike than she thought.

“What do you want to know about me?” Sam stared, intertwining her fingers in front of her face.

“I thought you were the one asking questions since you’re going to be my boss for a whole day” Alex imitated her voice.

“I like bossing people around” she winked and they laughed, both smirking a little “do you like children?”

And there was the complicated question, with the even more complicated answer.

“I do,” she confessed, inhaling deeply “I always did.”

“Do you want to be a mother someday?” Alex felt her body tense and suddenly her mind was overwhelmed. Hands sweating cold and shaking, she quickly hid them under the table. Sam frowned, observing the reaction “I’m sorry, did I cross a line?”

“No” but her voice cracked “no, of course, no, is just that… It's a bit of a painful story for me but to answer you, yeah. I’d like to be a mother someday.”

“That’s enough for me” she smiled, trying to regain Alex’s calmness “motherhood is never an easy subject.”

“So it wasn’t easy for you?” Alex raised her eyes and they met, sharing years of fighting and hurt in one look. As if they had already met “well, I assume it wasn’t. You look young which means Ruby probably was born when you were sixteen or maybe seventeen.”

“Observing one are you?” she sighed “I got pregnant early and had to deal with a responsibility most people don’t want to. I moved on in school, got most grades, and graduated before my class. My mom was never who I wanted her to be, you know? The one who tells you the truth, that supports and understands you, so I moved out and went to Metropolis, where I dealt with motherhood alone.

“Ruby must be very proud of you” Alex commented, unsure of what to say “being a single mom these days sometimes can be worse than forty years ago, but I’d give anything to be as strong as you.”

“Thanks” Sam felt her cheeks blush “and thanks for not bringing the D-word.”

“D?”

“Dad” she sighed, “it’s the first thing that people ask.”

“I don’t see why bring it up if you made it clear you raised her on your own” Alex shrugged “if there was one, you would have talked about him by now.”

“I wish people were more like you” they smiled “any more questions?”

“Tell me more about Ruby, what she is like, hobbies…”

“You shouldn’t ask those things to a mama bear, Alex” she giggled “now this date will take way longer than we intended.”

“Talk away, I’m with the FBI, I can question a person longer than you can imagine” Alex spoke proudly and Sam cocked a brow, that caught her attention.

“An FBI agent, that’s intimidating” she teased.

“What can I say, I chase serial killers and have a gun on me” she got carried away but soon realized what she had said since Sam was quiet “oh, God, I’m not bringing a gun to your house” she corrected “I don’t even have it here, it wasn’t…”

“It’s okay,” Sam laughed. Her mind had wandered to a completely different interpretation, one she buried deep inside “I just got distracted with something. Why instead of just me talking, we just go to the park and I introduce you to my daughter?”

“Won’t it mess your routine? Because I know your boss and I must say she is insufferable, especially pregnant.” Alex rolled her eyes.

“Lena won’t fire me, she needs me more than I need her” Sam answered in the same tone. They got up ann Alex insisted on paying.

“Don’t let her hear that Sam” Alex whispered jokingly and they left the cafe.

 

They walk in silence to the park’s soccer court, surrounded by a grand green area full of tall trees and concrete seats that went a long way further. The cold wind and thin snow didn’t stop the parents from bringing their children to ride bikes and roller skate, so the place was crowded that morning. Alex rarely went to the park or took walks around there, she preferred the DEO’s gym to train and keep her shape. But, because of her mental state, J’onn reduced her work hours, and therefore, all the rest was reduced too. She missed the adrenaline, the anxiety, that butterflies in her stomach that flew when she had a mission, but Alex knew she had to take it slow.

Sam, on the other hand, tried to bring her daughter to the park on the weekends and felt guilty for not being able to spend more time with her. Ruby was more independent than she should for a girl her age, but she was loving, obedient and although very stubborn, was easy to keep under control. Sam never had any serious problems when it came to Ruby, she enjoyed studying, and because of her shyness didn’t get in trouble in school. Sam couldn’t complain, her daughter was better than she could have asked. When she decided to move to National City after long years in Metropolis, looking for a better life, L-Corp showed up with a divine proposal. Sam knew Lena from school and though they didn’t really keep in touch, their friendship survived the years. As she got Lena’s answer, all Sam could think about was how this was a great opportunity to offer Ruby a more promising future.

They saw the girl under a small wooden house, built over iron frames that also held some swings. The old lady watching her was sat on a bench, with a yellow mustard scarf around her neck, highlighting her curly white hair, making her look even more fragile. When Sam thought of calling them, an explosion on the center fountain scared them and caught everyone’s attention. Not long after, another explosion came, on the opposite side, too close to them. Concrete flew around, spreading over the grass and hitting some benches.

Chaos ensued.

The desperate frightening screams resonated loud when another boom pushed dirt on the children's park area. Sam ran towards Ruby but Alex stopped her by the arm.

“Alex!” Sam shouted and pulled back.

The redhead looked around, unsure of how to proceed to that situation.

‘Agent Danvers, we have a problem on the two main avenues.’

She heard J’onn say in her ear.

“I’m at the national park and we have three explosions, some wounded, and a lot of people stuck,” she informed.

‘We are on our way, approaching on the left. We still don’t know the reason or the target, clear the area and help the civilians.’

“Yes, sir.”

Alex ran around the playground, shouting for everyone to exit through the back, the farthest one from where the attacks happened. Few seemed to listen, but followed her order, which was a good start. She went back and tried to find Arias, but the old lady that was taking care of Ruby walked in circles, not knowing what to do. It was clear that she wanted to help the girl, but her body and age didn’t let her go very far. Alex saw Sam trying to move her daughter from under the house, uselessly. A huge tree branch fell over the colorful roof, keeping her stuck over the iron frames.

“Ma’am, I need you to listen to me carefully” Alex held her firmly on her shoulders “my name is Alex, I’m with the FBI, I need you to leave the place now.”

“But Ruby…”

“I know, I promise you I will get them out of here, but I can’t do that if you’re in danger” she explained, looking over to Sam again “you have to trust me?”

“Where do I go?” she asked, chokingly, clearly scared.

“There’s an exit to your right, on the back” she pointed and walked her halfway there “go as fast as you can and don’t stop, okay?”

“O-okay” she nodded, looking back one last time, and ran, obeying the agent.

Alex sighed, watching her leave and getting a bit more relieved. She turned to run back to Sam when another bomb was activated right on the bench where the old lady was sitting. The impulse threw her body like a rag doll to the other side of the court, shooting pain through her back once she hit the ground. She felt her lips bleed and her body warm up, groaning she got up fast. The white noise in her ear dizzied her for a moment, leaving Alex bewildered, the blurry vision didn’t let her see what was happening around her. When she came back to her senses, Alex witnessed Sam carry the whole iron structure with her bare hands.

She blinked.

This can’t be real, Alex thought to herself. She massaged her hand and blinked again. Now the sight was of the woman throwing whatever was left of the house away and pulling her daughter to herself.

She blinked again. And the noise in her ear pitched.

Shaking her head, Alex walked stumbling, and finally reached them. Ruby was crying scared, holding her mother’s arm.

“Sam, are you okay?” she asked screaming “we need to get out of here!”

When she turned around to the redhead, Alex swore she saw a red flash on the pretty brown eyes she met earlier.

 

***

 

The first thing she saw that freezing Saturday morning, were the blonde strands of hair over Kara’s face. And Lena knew she would never get used to that. She moved the hair softly, sighing at the sight of her girlfriend’s calm angelical face. Her beauty was surreal. Between work and professional dates, both women tried their hardest to keep that warm unique feeling alive in their hearts; but it wasn’t easy. Kara didn’t have what you call a quiet life, she was always buried under piles and piles of articles, interviews, and research about subjects she was writing about. Neither of them was happy about only having one hour together during the whole week and weekends, but it was moments like these they were the most attached to each other.

Deep down, Lena knew what she was feeling, And that terrified her every now and then. Kara never said if it was reciprocal quite the same and Lena was scared that, if Kara one day did, she wouldn’t be brave enough and would run away. Which would ruin her friend and relationship with the woman sleeping next to her. Pushing those thoughts away, Lena smiled and sighed, taking her time to softly kiss her cheeks, so lightly her lips barely touched the skin. Lena felt her arms around her waist, the warmth of her body heated her on that winter weather, beating the apartment heater.

And that caused a certain feeling in her center, a need for relief between her thighs. Her heart raced as lustful thoughts invaded her mind, remembering what they did at Midvale until her body tired itself. Lena swallowed dry, uselessly trying to focus and not letting her body implode with desire

Two crystal blue irises stared at her, alert and intense.

“Hey…” Kara whispered hoarsely.

“Hey…”

They stayed quiet, both hearing each other heartbeats race out of their chests. Lena lost herself at the sight of her curves, observing the way the large shirt had gone up, exposing the rest of her toned, warm body, the simple black panties fully showing. Her brain turned off for long minutes, almost dead shorting. If it was winter out there, summer was hiding in that room. Kara took a deep breath, feeling her own body temperature rise and the familiar sweet bother between her legs start. She was turned on and ready to beg for a touch. And she knew her girlfriend was feeling the same. Taking advantage of the situation, her hands went up slowly, in a torturous caress, going under the Luthor’s shirt and down her waist, never averting from the green eyes in front of her.

With urgency and fury, their lips met and Kara didn’t waste time, tasting her tongue with lavish. They kissed until oxygen was missing and breathed together. Her hands went down to her panties, playing with the tissue and caressing around it, making Lena throw her head back in a long suspire.

“May I?” she nodded, incapable of forming a coherent phrase.

Kara slid it down gently and tossed it out of the bed, turning her focus to Lena, who was laying on her side. She parted her legs and slid a finger through the wet centerfold, the liquid almost covering her finger. She slightly gasped as she realized how turned on Lena was. She went back to kiss and began to move on her clit, her moans and sound were music to her ears. Automatically, Lena started to move her hips, holding on to Kara’s waist and placing their foreheads together, she could already feel the unstoppable force growing in her.

“Wait…” Lena murmured.

“Did I do something wrong?” Kara stopped and the blue eyes stared at her, so the CEO smiled and pushed her into another intense kiss.

“Raise your hips,” she asked and Kara obeyed, feeling her girlfriend’s cold hands taking her panties off “I want you to come with me, Kara.”

Not waiting for an answer, Lena tasted her lips and her hands up and under her shirt, clamping her breasts with her fingers and listening to the blonde squirm and moan loudly. She put one leg between her girlfriend’s feeling her shiver with the contact of her center to her skin. Kara went back to her clit, at the same time she moved on her thighs. Their breathing got heavier, hotter and their kisses more sloppy and asking, hands traveling up and down their bodies. Without warning, Kara put two fingers on the CEO, and she screamed, euphoric with pure pleasure.

She moved in and out fast, her own humidity going down the Luthor’s thigh. She knew she was close.

In no time, Lena let her body get the best of her and she felt like she was imploding, limbs shaking, and vision momentarily failing. She gripped her girlfriend’s waist, trying not to scream. Kara felt her orgasm right away, the friction getting stronger and suddenly stopped because her legs were worn out. They panted, letting the silence fill the room, regaining conscience. Morning sex wasn’t something usual for them and the feeling of waking up needing them other’s body was entirely new. Like they needed extra contact to make sure what they were living wasn’t a lie or a very good dream.

They were living the truth. And were trying to prove to themselves it was real.

“Good morning…” Kara whispered, making Lena giggle.

“Yes, good morning indeed!” she said, watching Kara blush “did you sleep well?”

“Uhum” she affirmed, pulling Lena closer but feeling her belly get in the way “we have a Seedy between us.”

“We do” Lena smiled “and she is about to complain of hunger any second now.”

Kara slid her body down to go face to face with her daughter.

“I hope you slept well” she whispered tenderly, stroking the Luthor’s pale stretched skin and smiling “I love you” she kissed her and got her ear closed, listing to Lizzie’s heartbeat race.

Lena felt like crying and tried to maintain composure. But it was impossible. Her daughter was loved and, moreover, was accepted and welcomed like she was her friend’s. Lena wasn’t bothered when people thought Kara was Seedy’s mother, because, deep down, she wanted her to be, but she wasn’t brave enough to say it out loud. What if their relationship ended? What could Lena do to get over their connection? How would Lizzie feel, or worst, how would she feel knowing her daughter would be born and grow up away from the person who loved her most genuinely?

Therefore, she stayed quiet about it. And her stomach roared, along with Kara’s.

“This is Lizzie saying she doesn’t want cuddles, she wants food” Lena warned.

“C’mon, I’ll make you two breakfast” she got up but Lena groaned, feeling lazy.

“I need a shower and to put on some clothes” she smirked and got out of bed, accepting Kara’s extended hand.

They went into the large bathroom, adorned with Victorian ornaments but still modern. Kara helped her out of her shirt, taking off her own next, tying her head up in a messy bun. Before entering the shower, Kara noticed how Lena looked at herself in the mirror, lost in her thoughts and judging her body. She slowly traced the white stretch marks that sliced her skin and covered her lower stomach. Lena was still upset about them and didn’t know how to get over it. She frowned, bothered, and tried to bury the subject.

“Hey, don’t be like that” Kara hugged her and kissed her knuckles smiling “you are beautiful, Lena. I know these marks bother you but, believe me, I love every single one of them and I hope one day you’ll see them as I do.

They smiled quickly and Lena leaned on her friend’s shoulder, taking a deep breath and taking the sweet words in. They got into the shower and began to move in perfect synchrony like they were used to this routine choreography, an almost perfect dance. Lena cleaned herself first, watching the water go down her girlfriend’s body, and then they changed places. They talked about work, new articles that Kara was writing and needed her help for, plans for Christmas, and their weekend together. While Lena spoke, Kara massaged her head with shampoo.

“Hmmm, this is so good” Lena murmured “I might sleep standing.”

“I can move to your back later, we have the whole day together” Kara answered smiling and playing with the dark hair.

“Actually, I have to drop by L-Corp after the ultrasound but it won’t take long. I have to speak with Alex too,” she explained.

“Alex is at the DEO,” Kara said and received a confused look from her girlfriend in return “er… she told me about her real job some time ago and well… uh, I couldn’t say anything because it was a secret, but Alex told me you didn’t like keeping that secret, so… well…”

“Breathe, dear” they inhaled at the same time “I’m glad you know the truth, it’s better for the both of us.”

“Right” Kara averted her eyes, swallowing dry and going back to her activity.

“What are you doing with my hair?”

“Uh… nothing” she answered quickly, undoing the funny shapes she had sculpted on her girlfriend’s head “you can wash it now” Lena turned around and cocked a brow at her “you’d look good with whiter eyebrows and a beard like this” Kara spread the foam on her cheeks and laughed at the image.

“Dumbass” Lena rolled her eyes and washed off the remaining shampoo.

“I’m going to make us some food, okay?” Kara tried to grab a towel but Lena pulled her back in and took her in a passionate kiss “Lena, we’ll never leave this shower like that” she murmured on her lips.

Before Lena could answer, her stomach roared.

“Your daughter is hungry,” Kara pointed out.

“She’s always hungry, Kara” she smiled and stepped out of the shower “let’s feed this child.”

“Only the child?” She pouted.

“My two children” Lena squeezed her cheeks and headed to the closet to find something comfortable to wear while at home.

The kitchen synchrony was no different from the shower. While Kara scrambled eggs and fried the bacon, Lena finished cutting some fruits and putting them in small pots. They put on a nice playlist and heard Agnes bark. She was also hungry. Lena took the huge sack of dog food and put some on her pot, watching her devour it quickly. The puppies were still young but their crying was loud, they dragged themselves through the floor, eyes shining with curiosity for the strange world around them.

Lena sat on the floor and took one of them, placing him on her neck, between the clavicles. Both the male and female puppies fit in the palm of her hand and had golden fur like her mother.

“Have you picked the names yet?” Kara sat down next to her, fixing the glasses on her nose “he smells so good” she took the puppy in her hand, kissing his nose.

“Not yet....” she sighed “actually I thought of a name for the boy. But I have no idea for the girl.”

“Can I help?” Lena nodded “okay, I thought of one that is very you and I think you’ll like it. But tell me yours first.

“Krypto” Lena felt her cheeks burn and her friend’s blue eyes shone.

“Wh-what?”

“It’s a simple tribute to Krypton” she explained “the planet Lizzie won’t ever be able to visit or get to know because it doesn’t exist anymore” her voice got lower as the sadness of those words dawned on her.

Kara held back her tears and took a deep breath. Lena really did care about her history.

“Your turn.”

“Leah, like the princess from Star Wars, but written the same way it’s pronounced” she scoffed “do… you like it?”

“I love it, Kara” and leaned in for a kiss.

 

***

 

After having breakfast and enjoying the laziness on the couch with a random movie playing on the tv, they got up to get ready for the consult. Lena fixed the house up for Agnes, who still couldn’t be away from her children, and pet her head before closing the door. Since it was Saturday, Lena chose not to call the driver, after all, he deserved the weekend’s off. Kara followed her to the garage and so they headed to the doctor’s office, where they were about to see their daughter’s development after six months.

Kara had already gotten started on the way there, reading every piece of information possible on the app and Lena was pretty impressed about how right they were every time. Although Lena could already listen to Lizzie’s heartbeat beat, she wanted to listen to it in the normal way and see her on the black and white screen. It was her assurance to her daughter’s safety. They talked about their weekend plans since Kara was staying with her until Monday morning and parked in front of the familiar building.

The receptionist smiled politely, now calling Lena by her first name, from a personal request.

“How are you feeling, Lena?” the doctor asked, taking notes on her patient’s file.

“Still sleepy and needing to pee all the time” she sighed “and worried about some stretch marks that keep appearing” Lena averted her eyes but felt her girlfriend’s hand hold hers.

“That is perfectly normal, although it bothers some people and may cause low self-esteem” the doctor explained calmly “don’t worry about it, there’s nothing wrong about having stretch marks or cellulitis, your body works in a wonderful way and it’s working hard to keep your daughter safe. Cut it some slack and more important, cut yourself some slack” she smiled.

“Thank you.”

“About the sleepiness, that should go away by the seventh month but I believe the need to go to the bathroom won’t” she was sincere “in fact, it might increase, it varies from person to person. As your baby grows, she takes more space inside you, which pushes your bows down, there are times the babies kick the organ with their feet and make you crazy for a bathroom. I hope Lizzie isn’t like that.” she smiled.

“Did you hear that, baby girl?” Lena poked her belly and laughed “I think she knows.” Cameron laughed along.

“I have a question” Kara finally manifested her presence “er… I mean...:” she scoffed, squirming on her seat “can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, Kara” she affirmed, “go ahead.”

“I… I don’t know how to put this, but… are there any restrictions on...uh” her cheeks burned “uh… you know. That” she scoffed “I don’t want her to get hurt or… it to bother…”

“Sex is completely normal during pregnancy, if that’s what you’re talking about” the doctor tried not to smile at the woman’s embarrassment “all couples do it, especially on the ninth month. I always advise people who want to go for natural labor to stimulate their contractions with certain exercises, foods but sexual penetrations are what truly helps.”

Oh, Rao.

Lena felt her own face burn.

“Since you both are women, I advise you to use sex toys for penetration” Kara almost choked at the thought “don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt the baby, it only leaves them agitated, which is why you must always rest after it, okay?”

“Right,” Lena answered.

“Let’s see your weight and how our little girl is doing on her sixth month” Cameron got up and asked Lena to take off her shoes. In twenty-two weeks, she had gained fifteen pounds, which scared and concerned her. What would she look like in the ninth month? How much would she weigh once Lizzie was born? She didn’t want to change for the worst, to become ugly or full of marks. Her heart raced and Kara noticed.

So, before her girlfriend laid on the bed, she pulled her into a tight hug and whispered words of encouragement that only said the truth, like that Lena was the most beautiful woman in the world.

“Well, Lizzie currently looks like a very skinny and tiny newborn” the doctor explained, moving the device over the gel on her skin “she is around 27 centimeters and weighs 437 grams. A very strong girl, I must say, very well fed too” she smiled “keep it up, Lena, your daughter is growing a lot.”

Kara looked at her proudly and took her hand in hers.

“The lips and eyes are already formed, though they don’t have color yet and the skin looks wrinkled because she is still small. The pancreas is still producing hormones, probably her ovary is producing the necessary eggs for a possible breed when she is older, I know it sounds bizarre, but all of us women are born with a certain number of them. We stopped producing them once we’re born” she explained “also, the first signs of teeth are already showing, and on the seventh month, Lizzie will begin to experience pain in her gums. Be prepared.”

The couple watched the screen attentively, where they could see the baby sucking on her thumb and holding her toe. Lizzie was active, moving around a lot and bigger than most babies her age. Cameron explained that it was usual, every pregnancy is unique and there was nothing wrong with little miss Luthor-Danvers. Yes, the doctor put the two names together, catching them by surprise. But in different ways. While Lena believed the action might bother her girlfriend, since she wasn’t obligated to take in a child that wasn’t technically hers, Kara thought her girlfriend would never let her feel like the mother, because only Supergirl was entitled to that.

And so, neither of them had the courage to correct or rectify.

They grabbed the images, listened to a couple more recommendations, and left the place, still intoxicated by the loud sound of their daughter’s heartbeat.

“I have to go to L-Corp to get the last details about the Christmas Gala and then I’ll deliver the photos at the DEO,” Lena said while driving “I promise I won’t take long.”

“Is it okay if I stay at yours?” Kara asked embarrassed but the Luthor handed her a key with a keychain “what’s that?”

“My apartment’s key, I want you to have it” she looked over to the blonde, who was so emotional with the sudden action that was left speechless “you gave me the key to yours and I just wanted to know you’re always welcome at my home.

To be honest, Lena wanted her girlfriend to feel what she felt like to be happy like she was. But, Kara wanted to cry, because the feeling of having a home where she was welcome, where she was fully loved and accepted was indescribable. The Danvers took her in from a place of charity, that was the truth, as much as they loved her, it wasn’t a night to day thing. Not that Kara was complaining, never, she was more than grateful for her family and wouldn’t trade them for anything. But, her best friend was offering her a home because of who she was, without asking anything in return.

Her heart drowned in guilt and once again, she thought about the millions of ways to tell her the truth. She could do it right there, right now, but she couldn’t even utter a thank you. And that was the right to say the truth, just saying it. No plans, no surprises, and no expectations for forgiveness.

The CEO dropped her girlfriend off in front of the building and asked her to take Agnes on a walk. Then rushed to the company, where only a few workers were, and took the documents that Sam had put on her table, along with the Ball papers. Most people present at L-Corps were lab scientists who didn’t stop the tests and theories on weekends, and that was the reason she loved going there the two days. It was calm, empty and her day became more consistent and productive with the lack of meetings and constant invasion in her office. Lena could put on her white coat again and get back to being an engineer, who spent day and night entertained with microscopic life.

Following that train of thought, Lena remembered one of her new project’s sketches was already on paper and that was also a reason she needed to go to the DEO, besides speaking with Alex and giving the consult images to Supergirl. Lena gave her company one more look and got in the car, driving to meet her daughter’s other mother.

 

***

 

The department’s entrance always caught the agent’s attention and made them quite terrified of looking at the Luthor who was carrying Supergirl’s daughters. Not that they thought she was evil, like her family, but were afraid of the super mom, super protective and nervous. Winn smiled as he saw her walk in and J’onn politely greeted her, as he always did, preferring to give the relationship a professional distance and not mentioning tests on the baby anymore. Which Lena was grateful for because she would bring that building down before anyone there dared to lay a finger on her daughter. And no one was willing to bet on it.

“Where is Alex?” she asked, already heading to the stairs

“Hey, good afternoon for you two!” Winn followed her, looking anxious “can you wait just a second?”

“Okay,” she turned around, “you have my attention.”

“Uh, don’t do the eyebrow thing, please” he tried to lower it with his finger, “I think it’s cool and intimidating but it scares me” Lena laughed and relaxed her face “this is for you” he handed a package with red and green reindeers drawn on it “consider it an early Christmas gift.”

“Oh…” what was she supposed to say to the boy? “I… I wasn’t expecting this” she sighed “I’m sorry, I didn’t get you anything, I didn’t think…”

“Don’t worry about it, Lena” he smiled “gifts are a pleasure for those who give, not for what you get in return” Winn’s smile grew “c’mon, open it!”

“Okay” Lena opened it carefully, to reveal two baby overalls “oh God…”

One had Supergirl’s symbol and a heart on the center, written over it, the phrase ‘loved by two super moms’. The second one, green, had ‘Proud Baby’ grandly written with the gay flag colors.

Lena smiled big and held them tight, her mind quickly wandering to a baby crawling on four wearing them, Speechless, she pulled Winn to an awkward hug, one he wasn’t expecting and thought was exclusive to Kara. But he accepted it immediately and hugged her back, measuring his strength because he didn’t know what could hurt her, if he could hurt her or if Supergirl could show up at that moment and kick his ass. They stepped apart and Lena sighed, drying an insistent tear on her eye.

“Thanks, Winn” she murmured “I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

“No problem” he smiled “Kara told me you like the others so I thought it was time for a couple more. Lizzie can’t walk around without the perfect fashion, what kind of uncle would I be?” Winn joked but Lena was caught off guard again.

Uncle. She never thought a daughter of hers would have so many people that loved her in so many ways. If Lena decided to keep her, she had already convinced herself it was going to be just the two of them. She couldn’t expect her girlfriend to take that responsibility in, or Alex to be her auntie and Eliza some kind of grandma. Being fairly honest, Lena would rather for Lizzie to never know about Lilian and her brother and her family, but now it was different. Her friends - she stopped. Was Winn her friend? - they were already taking part in the baby’s life. And there was Schott, saying he wanted to be in Lizzie’s life.

“Yeah…” she laughed, moved “what kind of uncle would you be” he smiled back and her heart melted.

“I hope he isn’t bothering you” Alex showed up, limping with a careful bandage on her face “Winn can be more unbearable than Kara sometimes when he wants to.”

“He would have to overcome his fear of me to be a bother first, Danvers” she smirked and Winn gasped “actually, I was getting gifts” she showed off the little clothes.

“Hey!” Alex punched him “you not stealing my title of cool aunt.”

“Ouch, c’mon Alex, Lizzie can have two cool aunts” he retorted “there isn’t a limit.”

“I’m the sister-in-law!”
“And I’m…” he stopped to think “Kara’s best male friend and the smartest, funniest, most handsome guy in this department” Alex snorted.

“You’re going to need more than that, Schott” Alex pointed out and he grimaced, looking like an upset child.

“Lena!” he complained.

“Okay, not fighting” Lena got in between them “Lizzie will consider you both a cool aunt and uncle, the more the better. Also, more gifts for her too,” she said and Winn stuck out his tongue to Alex and she did the same right away “Alex, how are you after the attack?” Lena turned to her as Winn left to go meet J’onn.

“Aching and having trouble walking. There's a disgusting bruise on my lower back” she sighed “I’m on leave for a couple of days until I get better, I’m lucky nothing broke.”

“Do me a favor and rest, no funny business or stubbornness about it” Lena was firm.

“Okay, mom” she teased “do you know how Sam is?”

“She’s a strong woman” Lena tried to comfort the agent but it seemed useless. Alex was very concerned about what happened “she was in shock for seeing Ruby almost get hurt and I gave her the week off. They need that time together.”

“It was scary,” Alex confessed, “but Sam… well, she was really strong.”

“She asked about you too, wanted to know if you were okay and if help came” Lena informed, having fun “why don’t you pay her a visit?”

“Do you think I should?” she hesitated. Alex barely knew the CFO but that didn’t mean she didn’t care.

“Of course you should, Sam would love to see that you’re okay and have a chat” Lena was sincere “I’ll text you the address later, I promised…” she turned around to continue her away through the corridor but stopped as a strong body, dressed in blue uniform bumped into hers.

“Ops” Supergirl, who was too busy trying to untie her cape from her belt to look forward, didn’t notice Lena in her way “sorry!”

Her arms quickly caught the CEO as she lost balance. Their bodies got close, the heat between them was palpable. Lena grabbed the strong biceps, trying to not fall face to the floor and that was when she noticed the concerned face of the girl of steel. She felt her belly touch her stomach, their breasts were too close and their eyes met. Time stopped and they were lost in the moment. Those blue irises seemed to scream her name as if they wanted to tell her something Lena could swear she saw something else inside of them

“Sorry, I didn’t see you there, I…” Supergirl said awkwardly, letting go of Lena and looking at her sister who observed the scene “what are you doing here?”

“I came to give you the photos and I need to talk to you,” she said mysteriously, somewhat scared of what the hero would have to say ‘it’s not about the pregnancy but it has to do with our daughter and you.”

“Uh, okay…” she grimaced. What did Lena mean by that? “c’mon, let’s go somewhere else.”

“It can’t take long, I promised Kara I’d be back soon” Supergirl nodded, looking down “are you going to be alright, Alex?”

“Of course” she smiled.

The agent watched both women walk away and sighed, rolling her eyes and laughing to herself. Alex didn’t understand how they could be so in love and still have so many secrets. As she turned around, her phone vibrator, a message from Lena appeared on the bright screen.

Sam's address.

 

***

 

“Nope, I can’t do this anymore” the CEO complained for the millionth time in the bathroom.

“Lena Lutessa Luthor, don’t make me go in there and drag you out” Sam answered, waiting for her friend to leave as she took her dress in her hands “you are the host of this party.”

“You can take my place, no one wants to see me anyway” she continued, the door still locked “Sam, I’m not going to make it.”

“C’mon out, please,” she asked calmly “Ruby, baby, can you wait for me in the living room? Turn on the tv.”

“Can I see the puppies?” The girl asked with begging eyes.

“Of course my love, but be careful with Agnes, okay?” she nodded “call me if you need anything.”

The door was opened and from it, walked out a pale Luthor, only in underwear and wearing red eyes. She was clearly bothered by the weight gained, the constant need to pee as her swollen legs. Being pregnant wasn’t heaven, it was glamorous and it didn’t make you more happy or lively. It was nothing like what some women preached it was in the media. Lena was exhausted. Her feet ached if stayed in the same position for too long, just like her back and hips. She was sweating more, especially because of her daughter's alien DNA that heats her up from the inside.

And now she wasn’t fitting on the dress she had in mind for the event.

“Oh, Lena” Sam sat down beside her and pulled her in for a hug, feeling her cry “it will pass, I promise you. There are only two months and a half to go and Lizzie will be out here in a blink of an eye.”

“I’m a disaster, Sam” she sobbed “what are they going to think of me? The Luthor, pregnant by an unknown person, has the audacity to breed a child that doesn’t deserve that name or that horrible family. The judging, I might not care, but it still hurts so much.”

“I know it does, but you have to understand that no one has the right to opine on your life and your choices” Sam was direct, drying her tears with the palm of her hand “I will be by your side the whole time and if someone dares to be disrespectful to you, they are going to deal with my lack of respect for them. Got it?” Lena smiled, though it still hurt.

“Lena?” they heard the door creak and a beautiful blonde walk in “am I interrupting?”

“Of course not” Sam got up and greeted her “Samantha.”

“Oh! You’re the girl Alex won’t shut up about” Kara said fast and covered her mouth as soon as the words escaped her “I shouldn’t have said that…”

“It’s okay, I promise I won’t tell her” Sam smirked “come on, Lena needs you right now. I’ll be waiting for you two outside.

“Thanks, Sam, and uh… it’s very nice to meet you” she smiled and was left alone with her girlfriend

As soon as the door closed, their eyes met and there were pure comprehension and tenderness in the look. Kara moved towards her and sat by her side, pulling her in. She knew changing clothes was hard for Lena, always giving her bad thoughts about her body. Kara wasn’t going to tell her to stop crying and try to make it better quickly, Alex explained to her that patience was the key, she needed to let her crumble and then help her get back up. Being strong wasn’t about not falling apart, but about standing up after the fall. So, Kara didn’t interrupt Lena’s sobbing, letting her cry all her fears on her shoulder.

“Shhh” Kara caressed the tied black hair “do you want some water?”

“...yeah” the blonde reached for the cup on the nightstand and handed it carefully “thank you.”

“Are you feeling better?” she murmured softly.

“I don’t know” Lena was honest, feeling the urgency of tears again “I just get angry because I can stop crying and being so weak. I wasn’t supposed to be like that, but when I look into the mirror… I can’t.”

“Lena, my love, listen to me” Kara intertwined their hands “I know it’s hard, and losing control is very scary, but let me explain to you something. Beauty isn’t about looking good in a dress or having a thin body with no marks and curves. An unmarked body is a body without a story.” she cleaned the tears off of her face “when people ask you about them, you can tell them the truth, you created the most amazing person in the world in nine months. I could sit here for hours, saying everything I think is pretty about you, like the way you half smile when you get shy for getting a compliment. I know they are rare but you deserve every single one of them. Or the ways your eyes shine when you talk about science, something you love. The little brown spot on your neck, or the scar under your eyebrow, the way you talk to me and to Lizzie. Everything about you is beautiful, Lena Luthor.”

Lena looked away, not even trying to hold back tears.

“The dress doesn’t fit anymore” she confessed, “what do I do?”

“I’ll fix it.”

“Kara…”

“Yeah?”

"Thank you” Kara kissed her without hesitation and smiled “ready for your first event as my girlfriend?”

Oh, Rao.

“With you by my side, always” Kara tried to sound confident but she was at the brink of a breakdown.

After another forty minutes, the four women left the apartment, Kara was very entertained in a conversation with an even more entertained Ruby. Sam smiled and Lena and held her hand the whole way. She never felt prouder of the woman the CEO had become.

 

***

 

The annual gala ball, sponsored and organized by L-Corp, was always a tradition, even when Lex Luthor was the company’s CEO. The party took place to raise money for local orphanages and hospitals that needed that extra help to get through empty winters. Collecting money using good humor and will and appearance on businessmen and rich folk because of the Christmas spirit was the best tactic the Luthors had come up with. Everybody liked practicing good behavior in family holidays such as there, they wanted to show off kindness and selflessness and believe one good action paid off for a whole year of bad ones. The whole thing was pure hypocrisy but Lena tried to not pay attention to that.

The five-star hotel lobby, located at the heart of National City welcomed every kind of person - the invited ones of course - from essential company workers to important investors. The decoration was Christmas-themed, with red and gold colors on the tables and lights. Small candlesticks were put in the middle of the center table, where the supper would be served and uniformed waiters walked barely touching the ground, in a choreographed dance. Everything looked good and conversation filled the place with life and joy. Instrumental music played in the background and children played in the backyard.

Sam greeted everyone with sympathy and politeness, welcoming first time families, same went for the CEO, who received dozens of hands from associates. Kara tried to go with the flow, at times moving away to grab some food. For Kara’s joy, her girlfriend knew her well and filled the table with her favorite potstickers. Which resulted in her being mouthful most of the time, focusing not to do something embarrassing.

“Kara, get a hold of yourself” Alex whispered to her sister “Where’s Winn?”

“He said he was going to the bathroom but I think he’s talking to someone” Kara murmured back, still chewing “wasn’t James with him?”

“I don’t know” she sighed “who is that kid?” Kara followed Alex’s look to find a girl in a light blue dress watching the couples dance.

“Oh, that’s Ruby” Alex frowned, how didn’t she remember the girl? “I think this party is boring for her.”

“Well, it’s not like me and you have other things to do except drink and eat fancy things” she retorted “I’ll be right back.”

Alex made her way to Ruby and said hello with a shy smile. The girl had her hair braided back and looked at the woman with a doubtful mind.

“Hey, would you give me this dance” she gave her her hand “I’m Alex.”

“I know” the girl finally smiled “are you really going to dance with me?”

“Only if you’d give me honor” she winked and Ruby stood up excitedly.

They walked to the dance floor and got in positions. Alex was still a bit sore but nothing that would keep her from having fun. They whirled around the place, Ruby laughing out loud as she realized Alex was just as bad as her. They didn’t care about the looks because the focus was on each other and the music in the air. Sam felt Lena poke her shoulder and excused herself from a conversation. Her friend guided her to the other part of the venue and she saw her daughter laughing, led by a clumsy redhead with no talent for dancing, twisting the girl in the place.

The smile on her face was inevitable.

“Good luck” Lena whispered to her and Sam felt her cheeks burn “I’m going to say hi to the other guests.

When Winn returned to the table, Kara had her eyes lost and he noticed right away a tenseness emanating from her. Her fist was closed and two wrinkles were showing between her brows. That was worrying because it meant she was hearing or seeing something that bothered her to a catastrophic level. Winn turned around and spotted the problem: Veronica Sinclair. What was that woman doing there? Wasn’t she in jail? Yeah, that woman enslaved aliens and put them in a ring in the name of money. But there she was, talking to none other than Lena Luthor.

Winn didn’t know what that conversation was about, but whatever it was, it wasn’t pleasing Kara. The situation got worse when Sinclair tried to touch the CEO’s belly. Lena stepped away, uncomfortable with the action but it wasn’t enough.

“I’ll be right back” Kara got up abruptly, leaving a confused and worried Winn behind.

Kara walked fast, fighting her instincts not to use her superspeed to reach her girlfriend, and when she did, Kara put one arm around her waist possessively, smiling the fakest of smiles to Veronica. Lena stared at her confused but soon relaxed.

“Veronica, this is Kara Danvers” Lena introduced “my girlfriend.”

“Hello,” the woman said, menacing “grant me this dance, Lena. For old time’s sake.”

“How about you and I dance?” Kara got a hold of the situation and took her hand.

The trio was silent but Sinclair felt anger rise up. She let Lena go and watched Kara purposefully kiss the CEO in front of her. They walked to the dancefloor and moved closer to each other, tension emanating.

“Possessive much, Danvers?” Veronica whispered, Lena, observed them move with almost despair.

“More than you can imagine” Kara held the tone.

“For a Kryptonian, I thought Luthor’s weren’t accepted as relationship partners” she provoked.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” Kara answered “but let me make something clear. Lena isn’t available and will never be available for you. I won’t ever let you near her to my daughter, so don’t underestimate me, Veronica, you don’t know what I’m capable of when my family is involved.” she stepped away and smiled “thank you for the dance, I hope we are understood.”

“You can’t decide for her,” Sinclair said, watching her return to her girlfriend.

“No, no I can’t. But I can make sure there is no room in her life for you.”

Getting the last words, Kara got back and found Lena again, breathing in relief, still feeling the blood boil inside her. She had no idea what pushed her to go there and act like that like she needed to fight for her place in Lena’s heart. But part of her panicked, seeing the two people she loved being so close with someone like Veronica Sinclair. Her daughter was an alien, though half-human. She would never let her be with someone that despised her existence and would never allow Lena to be with someone so dangerous

Her body relaxed as Lena's eyes shined for her with confusion

“What happened?” she was worried “Kara, what was that?”

“She wants you back” Kara spilled the words “she’s interested in you” the Luthor cocked a brow and crossed her arms.

“I’m a Luthor and I am pregnant, I don’t think anyone wants me back” Lena was harsh, breaking a little of Kara’s heart with the words.

“You may not realize it but she didn’t move her eyes from your cleavage all night” Kara grumbled “I don’t… I…” she sighed “I don’t want anyone to want you back.”

“And may I know why?”

“Because I love you, Lena.”

Chapter 18: Lizzie Luthor-Danvers

Notes:

Sooo, how's everyone doing?

Before starting I just wanted to thanks everyone for the kind comments, they mean a lot!

Enjoy this chapter and don't forget to leave kudos and comments!

Chapter Text

“Because I love you, Lena”

I love you. The three words repeated themselves in an infinite loop. I love you. Lena wasn’t expecting to hear them so soon or so surprisingly, maybe that was the right time. Maybe there wasn’t a right time. But still, her body froze in place and her lips couldn’t form one single word. Of all fears she had, being loved was at the top five scariest things that could happen to a Luthor. Lena looked for that feeling everywhere, but whenever she found it, she ran in the opposite direction. It wasn’t her fault, not entirely. She had been loved by her biological mother - at least she liked to believe that - but she lost her. She was loved by Lionel, Lex, and Jack. And neither of them was there.

It was like a curse, a heavy burden to carry. Lena lost everyone that loved her, even though she tried to save them however she could. What hurt the most, Lena had said the three words back to all of them but still, none of them stayed. Every loss, every goodbye, a part of her was taken away, like losing pieces of a puzzle, leaving incomplete and impossible to finish. What would happen if Lena said it back? Would she lose her best friend? Would she lose the only woman she ever loved, and loves, unconditionally?

Would she lose Kara like she was going to lose Lizzie in a couple of months?

Lena wouldn’t survive. The loss would be too grand to handle, she would rather die than see them both go at the same time. She couldn’t risk it.

“I’m sorry… I…. you don’t have to…” Kara scoffed and looked around, nervous “Lena, I…”

“Kara” Lena stepped closer, holding her face and making her look at her. There was love and fear in her eyes but Kara only wanted to show her first “no one is going to have me back because I only need you” she tried to be as firm as possible “we need you” her hands traveled down her belly. Kara did the same and closed her eyes, trying to focus only on the two heartbeats she loved the most in the world “I’ll be here whenever you want me” Lena almost whispered, Kara’s heartbeat resonated in her ear, calming her down.

With the corner of her eyes, Lena realized they were being watched and some photographers stepped closer to them. Wanting to speculate about her daughter’s father, her pregnancy and private life, and most of all, her love life. Lena was never public about any of her previous relationships, especially because most of them didn’t even mean anything to her, being purely a distraction device. Spheer was the only one she had a long relationship with, but for the media, they were nothing but science friends who had a project together. But Kara was different and the CEO wanted to show her that. She didn’t want to feel like an outsider or think that Lena didn’t take their relationship seriously.

When Lena said yes to her in Midvale, at the beach, her words were nothing but honest. She loved Kara, more than she could admit, more than what those three words meant. She wanted the whole world to know she had the most amazing woman by her side and that she loved her too. So, when the flashes began, Lena turned to the deep blue eyes again. She never thought she was ever going to feel like that, so fulfilled and so light at the same time. That feeling flooded out of her and became the best moment of that night.

“The paparazzi are coming” Lena murmured.

“Do you want me to leave?” Kara asked, concerned but her girlfriend smiled.

“No, I want you to kiss me and show them I’m only yours” she whispered.

Kara held her wait firmly, tracing down the dress and feeling Lizzie kick. Her girlfriend’s hands caressed her cheeks one more time and they closed the gap. The kiss was calm, filled with unknown passion and that agitated the butterflies in their stomachs. Lena asked for more, tasting her lips lightly, and got what she wanted. The flashes covered them whole and excited noise began because Lena Luthor was finally making an official statement about her love life, which used to be a state secret, like anything about her personal life. They all knew about Lex, but only Kara knew about the most intimidating woman in National City.

“Ms. Luthor, what can you tell us about the woman next to you?” One reporter asked.

“Kara Danvers, how does it feel to be dating L-Corp’s CEO” another one shouted.

Little by little, they approached the couple and they looked at each other again. Lena intertwined their fingers, she didn't care about answering any of those questions, as long as it was clear that her heart belonged to Kara.

Almost one hour later, Winn and James left the party, along with other guests that moved in groups. The ball was a success, the food was practically over and the drinks were still going around the venue. On the big screen, dog shelters were showing after Lena’s speech, just like issues regarding the environment and the fight against animal abuse. The dogs that Mary and Bailey brought were all adopted, leaving them ecstatic by the end of it. A lot of investors were impressed to see the company involved in that noble cause so forgotten by most philanthropists. The money raised was groundbreaking and was going straight to the shelters listed on the screen.

“I’m impressed with Lena” Sam commented to the redhead “I’ve never seen her so willing to face the media.”

“I’m glad about it, to be honest” Alex sighed “Kara might be this endless wheel of happiness and confidence but when it comes to her love life…”

“It disappears” she completed.

“Yeah… and Lena isn’t just any person to her, you know” Sam nodded, though she didn’t know much about her friend’s relationship “Kara loved her too much and I don’t know if she would ever get over an eventual breakup.”

“Let’s hope for the best, then” Sam reached for her hand and Alex felt her body react, getting a little hesitant.

“Yes,” Alex smiled, squeezing her hand back.

“Mom, can we get a dog too?” Ruby ran to them and sat next to Alex “I pinky promise I’ll take care of him, pretty please!”

“Yeah, mom, pretty please” Alex teased, seeing the woman roll her eyes and the girl laugh “why don’t you adopt one?”

“Because I already have enough things to worry about,” she said but her daughter complained.

“C’mon, they are even that much work” Ruby grumbled “If we get him I promise I’ll clean all his mess.”

“We both know it isn’t going to be like that, dear” Sam held her word “besides, you already have that science fair project to worry about.”

“I’m not going to do it,” Ruby frowned.

“Why not?” Alex asked curiously, “I thought you loved science.”

“Do you want to explain why?” Sam asked, trying not to laugh and Ruby took a deep breath, her daughter could be a drama queen sometimes.

“The teacher asked us to be pairs or trios, but since I’m the new girl, no one wanted to do it with me,” she said automatically, trying not to show how upset she was about it “and all the projects were already chosen.”

“Not all, honey” Sam caressed her brown hair.

“Which one is left?” Alex asked.

“The worst one” she sighed, making both adults laugh “don’t laugh at me, c’mon.”

“Ruby, you know all this drama is a bit unnecessary, right?” Sam arched a brow.

“Maybe” she shrugged “but I don’t want to do it alone.”

“What if you had a partner?” Alex suggested, getting their attention “a fun, smart, very pretty FBI agent a partner?” she winked.

“Alex” Sam reached for her hand again “you can’t just make people up.”

“Now you’re offending me, Arias” she gasped, trying not to freak out about the hand-holding “I’m going to forgive you this time.”

“How generous” she provoked “I could never live without your forgiveness.”

“I know” Alex smiled while Ruby observed the interaction with interest.

“I’m still here,” she said, laughing at their cheeks turning red “and I don’t have anyone to help me.”

“That’s why I’m volunteering to be your project partner” Alex continued “what do you say?”

“Seriously?” Ruby almost screamed “like, for real?” her eyes were shining.

“Like, very seriously” she affirmed, “you and I will be the best team.”

“Can we, mom?” she turned to Sam, who tried to smile less but just couldn’t.

“Well, who am I to stop you” Ruby didn’t hold back and jumped up to hug the redhead.

“You are definitely the best aunt in the world!” Alex’s face was red, still being held by the small arms.

“Wow, don’t let Lena hear that Rubs” she joked.

“You can discuss the project better on Monday” Sam commented, catching the agent by surprise “so there is enough time until the deadline.

“Wait… so I…” Alex was confused but Sam nodded, confirming now that she had somewhere to be every Monday at least until the end of Summer.

“You are the best mom in the world!” Ruby now hugged her mom and Alex laughed at the sight of Sam trying to hug her back in that uncomfortable position. However, the mother couldn’t be more grateful. Ruby was going to be in good hands and she was sure Alex was going to become an important person for her daughter.

And maybe even for herself.

 

***

 

“Did you get your science material?” Sam asked her daughter while making breakfast on that cloudy Monday.

“Yes, mom” Ruby answered mouthful, watching the woman fix her shirt again and again “why do you keep looking in the mirror-like every five minutes?”

“I don't,” Sam denied, grabbing her french toast.

“It’s aunt Alex, isn’t it?” she provoked “You like her.”

“She’s my friend, of course, I like her, Ruby” the girl rolled her eyes.

“You know what I mean, mom.”

“No, miss Cupid, I don’t don’t know what you mean” Sam grabbed the flaming hot pan, and Ruby’s eyes went wide as her mother didn’t show any sign of pain.

“If you called me Cupid then you knew what I mean” she retorted but keeping that moment in her head.

“Go brush your teeth and wait for Alex in the living room, okay?” Sam dodged the subject again “or I’ll be late.”

“Mom.”

“Yes?”

“You look beautiful, okay?” Sam smiled at the world, but couldn’t help her anxiousness. Why the hell was she feeling that way?”

Ruby jumped off the chair and ran to the bathroom, brushing her teeth and quickly going back to the couch. Sam left the breakfast on the table, unsure if Alex had already eaten or not, and went to her room to get her work material. The doorbell rang almost fifteen minutes later and her heart raced. Fuck. It felt so strange to be so anxious and happy to see the agent so soon, they spent the night texting each other, Alex wanted to know all about Ruby’s hobbies and favorite things, about how things were before moving to National City and if they were adapting well. It was fun and good to talk to her, like they had known each other for years and, obviously, Lena asked to know all the details about it.

“Am I too early?” Alex asked shily but Sam smiled.

“You’re right on time, come in. Ruby is in the living room” she closed the door “have you had breakfast yet?”

“I ate before leaving home, but thanks” Alex smiled “Nice shirt” she pointed out, making Sam flush.

“Oh, this?” she answered, “it’s old” lying.

“Still, I like it” Neither of them even tried to make long eye contact.

“Er… well” Sam scoffed and the silence grew uncomfortable. “I have to go, Lena isn’t feeling well and told me she was going to stay home. If you’re hungry there’s food on the table and I also left some extra money under the cookie jar in case you need anything and all the important phone contacts are on the fridge” she explained “you can call me any time and Ruby knows her way around the tv, she can tell you what she likes and…

“Sam, breathe” Alex put both hands on her shoulder, seeing her body relax at the touch “Ruby and I will be fine, trust my skills.”

“Only if you show me all of them” Sam muttered, making Alex shiver “good luck to you two. Ruby, behave!” the girl shouted an ‘Okay!’ back.

“Have a nice day at work,” they said goodbye to each other and so the day began. Alex made her way to the couch and laid down next to the girl “what do we have for today?”

“That shirt isn’t really old” Ruby commented, up to no good “she couldn’t stop looking in the mirror.”

“Rubs! You can’t gossip about your mom” she was only half-joking “but seriously, she did that?”

“Uhum” she nodded “all the time.”

“What else?”

“I can’t gossip about my mom” Alex rolled her eyes at the provocation “you’re going to have to ask her.”

“Damn it” she sighed “do you think if I invite her to the Christmas Party… she’d come?”

“I don’t know, we usually don’t do anything so probably yes” Ruby turned to face her “I can help you if you want but with one condition.”

“You’re a lot smarter than I thought” Alex commented “what condition?”

“First, you’re going to get me an A for the science fair” Alex nodded, agreeing “and second, I want to go to Disney.”

“Wh-what… I’m sorry, what?” Alex choked on air.

“I want to go to Disney on my birthday and mom never has time for us to go” she confessed, pouting.

“Rubs, I can’t take anywhere without your mom’s permission” Alex was serious “Nor give you gifts without her consent first.”

“That’s why you’re going to date her first” Ruby said, shrugging and Alex’s face burnt.

“Ruby…”

“Take it or leave it.”

“I can’t believe I’m cutting a deal with a thirteen-year-old” Alex sighed, but shook her hand “one word about this to you mom and I’m out.”

The girl sealed her lips with her fingers.

“My mouth is a grave.”

They continued to watch whatever was on the tv until Alex asked about the science fair project and began pitching some ideas. Ruby got excited and ended up bringing all her school material to the couch. The day went by in a blink, between laughs and bad sketches for the fair. At lunchtime, Ruby asked Alex to cook something special only to find out the agent was a terrible cook. This resulted in the pair eating pizza while binging friends and another secret between them because apparently, Sam was just like Lena when it came to healthy food.

Sam got home in the evening to find a quiet house and her daughter sleeping in Alex’s arms.

 

***

 

Kara left her apartment in a hurry, but she almost canceled everything when she saw Lena was feeling indisposed. The ending of the sixth month wasn’t being kind, leaving Lena more tired, sleepy, and sick. The weight on her belly was beginning to bother her, keeping her from finding any good positions to sit or lie down. She had already bought a new chair for her office, took longer breaks between meetings, and was leaving work earlier. Her feet were swollen and the sweating was always there, her back also began to hurt if she stayed still in the same position for too long. Lizzie was growing non-stop, conquering more space and though Lena liked keeping her safe, she couldn’t wait to get her out.

Lena canceled all her appointments that morning, let Sam know about her sick state, and didn’t fight Kara as she made a bowl of fruit salad so her stomach wouldn’t be empty, after all her daughter couldn’t survive without food. Still feeling sick, Lena laid down again and asked for her girlfriend to keep her company for a couple more minutes, hugging that perfect body and waiting for her own to start working. Kara, of course, didn’t want to leave, but her anxiety was growing. She stayed there for about half an hour, playing with her hair and massaging her back until Lena smiled and told her she should go. She didn’t want to get in her way. Kara tried to argue but she didn’t want to stress her out, besides, James had called earlier to say he had a surprise waiting for her.

Kara made Lena promise she would call in case she got worse or something happened. She left the water by the bedside and closed the bedroom curtains, covering her girlfriend with a blanket and kissing her goodbye, whispering a soft I love you. Leaving the bedroom and making sure she was out of sight, Kara flew away.

The hero hadn't had time since the party to think about her actions and reactions and, in truth, she wasn’t sure she wanted to go there. To analyze how her heart ached as the three words weren’t said back. Not that Kara found it utterly necessary, because each person had their ways of showing love. One time, she read in a book that there are five languages and not all people fit in those five at the same time, many use only one and sometimes two, but not all.

The first one was words of affirmation. Usually said in compliments like ‘Dinner was great’, or ‘I think you’re really good at that or some assurance like ‘everything is going to be okay'. Some people use that kind of behavior as a way to show their love and people who feel loved when they hear praise from people they care about. When Kara thought about it, Lena fitted that pretty well, even before they became friends, Lena always used her words to encourage Kara’s career decisions. During all those years, there wasn’t one day that Lena went by without complimenting her work and saying how amazing she was at covering all points of view in an article.

The second one was quality time. It was about exclusive time, even if short, for those you love and wish to be around. Things that fit this category are meaningful conversations, going on walks, watching tv together, going to the movies and dates with friends at least once a week, and many other things.

It is believed that this love language is the most essential nowadays. With the rush of life and thousands of things demanding attention, sometimes it’s impossible to spend time with important people. And so, they drift away and as life goes by, it might become impossible to go back to the way things were. It’s essential to find time to truly be with people that your presence matters too. More than physically present, all these people want was for you to actually be there, body and soul, not thinking about anything else.

Kara knew how much Lena valued that love language. Their lunch dates, even if short or always interrupted were never canceled. Unless something really urgent came up and there was no way of avoiding it. They enjoyed spending time together, having if just one hour to talk, and just be there, keeping each other company. Many times they didn’t say much, they just stayed in comfortable silence, resting on the L-Corp’s couch after having lunch.

The third one was receiving gifts. That one was easy and every Luthor fitted that language. The reason why was obvious, especially when it came to Lena Luthor, the woman who adored gifting people expensive presents because that was the way she was raised. Instead of getting hugs, conversations, kisses, or love words, the little pale girl with dark hair and green eyes was used to being put aside, receiving dozens of colorful packages as a way to keep her quiet and please, even if she didn’t really care about material things. But when things repeat themselves too much, they become a habit and Lena began thinking about gifts as a way of showing love. And it was, but not the way she wanted to.

That love language infers that the financial value of the gift is what matters the least because love can be shown in a flower, a pizza slice, or jewelry. What matters is the symbolism of it, if the person who receives the gift feels grateful, happy, and fulfilled once the meaning and significance of it is realized. For people to feel loved by that gesture, they need to know that the gift was thought of wholeheartedly with the intention of pleasing and building memory, so the person would be remembered in their absence.

The fourth love language was acts of service. For this one, actions matter more than words. Things like doing the dishes, fixing the sink, taking the trash out, washing the car and other basic actions to show how important the person you’re doing this for is. It was important to pay attention to the thing that person did so they wouldn’t feel neglected, but valued and even motivated to keep it up. Besides love, there was a big chance they would feel happy too.

But that love language clearly didn’t fit either of them. Kara knew the importance of doing chores, something she learned when she was still a kid. Eliza made them make their bed and tidy their rooms and divided other chores between the sisters, while one washed the dishes, another did laundry, and vice versa, in an attempt to keep the house clean. But for Kara those were just a way to keep the family organized, it was a love language but not one Kara liked to speak or hear. Lena, on the other side of the very same coin, never had to worry about acts of service, her life was spoiled with cookers, cleaners, and babysitters, she never considered those actions to mean love.

The last one, but no less important was physical touch. Kara didn’t even need to dive too much into it. It was clear they both fitted that category perfectly. Kisses, hugs, poking, holding, the sex, the gentle touches, the handholding, and so many other things represented that type of love language. Some people needed the physical reminder that there was love. So the caress was essential, they felt safe through touch.

When someone is very dear, whether you are in an amorous relationship or not, you want to show that love in every possible way. And when it’s too intense, it spills and becomes physical, that being a soft touch, a tight hug, a massage, kisses and so it goes. Ever since she arrived on Earth, Kara made clear her preferences of touches and it was obvious her love for hugs. It was hard at first, having to control herself so she wouldn’t hurt anyone. But after she got used to it, that way became her favorite to express love.

But for Lena, it was different, mainly because she didn’t know what physical contact was and was scared of receiving or giving it. Kara still remembered their first hug, the way her arms surrounded her body and their cheeks met. The cold skin on her hot arms made her tremble and Kara had to pretend the reason she was shaking what the article publication. The scent never left her memory, the soft comfortable body became her favorite feel and so that gesture turned out to be their friendship’s essential point. Now that the friendship became something else, they figured out another way to show love and care through physical contact and each discovery only pushed them closer to love.

However, although Kara saw herself in some of the love languages, the author said that it is different for each person and your love language might now be familiar to the other person or vice versa. So communication was important, same with understanding and an agreement to showing love in a way that there aren’t double meanings or doubts. Kara saw herself looking for words of affirmations and using physical touch, while Lena was more of a quality time person and used gifts, though she was one for words as well. But maybe ‘I love you’ didn’t fit those words yet.

“I’m here, James” Kara panted running into the room and her friend smiled, but with a concerned face “sorry I’m late, this morning was… complicated.”

“Is anything wrong with Lena?” he got up to hug her.

“Yeah, she woke up feeling sick and indisposed” she sighed “I get worried…”

“I understand that, if you need to get out earlier you have my permission, alright” Kara thanked him “I have a surprise for you” he smiled, almost giggling.

“Really? What is it? Where?” James laughed and made her turn around to face her surprise. When Kara finally realized what was happening, a smile invaded her face.

“Cat!” she screamed while the other woman frowned, sensing a hug was coming.

Physical touch was definitely not her love language.

“Okay, Kiera, you can let go of me now” Cat taped her shoulder lightly but there was a smile on her face too “why are you so clingy?”

“When did you arrive? Why are you here? Are you staying?” the woman rolled her eyes and James snorted at the excitement “uh… sorry” Kara fixed her glasses.

“I’ll leave you ladies to it and check in the new covers, call me if you need anything” Olsen smiled and left.

The women headed to the couch, Kara feeling too excited to even stand still.

“As you know, I care about CatCo and I’m here to see if Olsen can do 10% of what I did” she commented, “which is almost an impossible job.”

“James is doing really well and everyone liked him” Kara complimented her friend.

“Whatever, I’m here because of your work, not his” she smiled “women must support women and men must run to reach us” Kara laughed.

“I missed you so much, I wish you could stay” Kara confessed shily.

“Let’s not get dramatic here, what I want to know more about this” Cat showed a magazine from the competition and threw it on the desk. The cover was about L-corp’s CEO affair with a CatCo apprentice reporter. The photo made their relationship evident, Lena had her hand on Kara’s waist and Kara touched her apparent belly “I always thought those khaki pants of yours and the button-up shirts said something about your sexuality” Kara blushed, scoffing at the call out.

“Er… I… uh, what do you want to know?” she cleared her throat, fidgeting her glass.

“Everything” Car winked “I remember when you two started seeing each other but I thought you were never going to notice that Lena liked you.”

“I… how?” Kara frowned “you already knew?”

“Kiera, if there’s one thing you are, that thing is oblivious” she shrugged “but let’s not get caught up in that. Lena Luthor is taken and pregnant. How did that happen?”

“Well… it’s complicated” Kara sighed “let’s say many things happened and Lena ended up suffering the consequences for other people’s decisions. I wanted it to be different, no, I wanted that it to have happened differently. Now we're just focusing on what’s to come.”

“Unintended pregnancy, then” she nodded “and now you’re going to be a mother.”

“What?” Kara almost choked.

“If you two are together I assume you’re raising the child too?” The woman arched her brow “You don’t fool me I see your eyes shining every time you hear her name” she smiled, but Kara didn’t “there’s something else, isn’t there?” no answer came from her “oh… she doesn’t know…”

“No, I mean… I don’t think so..” Kara sighed “she has seen me without glasses but… she didn’t say anything, I don’t get it.”

“I’m sure Lena had seen you without many things by now” Cat smirked and Kara looked away, nervous “have you considered that she may already know?”

“Yes, but if that’s the case then why… why not say anything? Why not ask me?” Kara sounded and looked confused. It was frustrating not knowing what to do or expect.

“Because it isn’t her business to speculate about somethings that you should say about your life” Cat explained “let me explain you something, Kiera, us, successful businesswomen, we learn to be discreet soon a to only care about what has to do with us and not other people secret’s. Lena isn’t the type to speculate and pry, I believe, and I’m certain that, while you don’t say anything, she isn’t going to bring it up. It’s your secret, not hers.”

“That makes sense” Kara sighed, wondering “and… what if she doesn’t know?”

“Do you want to keep this relationship?” she was direct “do you want to raise this child?” Kara nodded twice “then weigh the cons of keeping this secret. You don’t have to tell her, you’re not obliged to, but when she does find out, there is no point in hiding and pretending you didn’t know the consequences. Take accountability for your actions and be brave enough to make and follow your decisions. The world doesn't need more cowards and Lena certainly needs someone to keep her in the dark” the woman was harsh “I wouldn’t want to love someone that isn’t honest with me, but I’m incapable of having any relationships so let’s not take my word for it. You’re an adult, you have a promising career ahead of you, and is a strong, pretty woman, so why are you behaving like that?”

“I’m scared,” Kara murmured.

“Then be greater than your fear, isn’t Lena worth it?” Kara smiled sadly “don’t make that face, react! The world isn’t going to wait for you to act to keep spinning. Time flies and the more you wait, the more this mess is going to grow. Kiera, no one is going to make this decision for you. I’m not here to tell you what to do, only you know what’s best. But don’t expect to reach somewhere if you haven’t even moved.”

“You’re right” Kara took a deep breath and squirmed on the couch “I’m going to tell her, right after New Year’s Eve. This is killing me, thanks for the advice.”

“Don’t get used to it, it’s not happening again” Cat provoked, as usual, “now tell me about the child. I never thought Lena was going to be a mother one day.”

“Actually, it’s been a slow process and she still doesn’t know if she’s keeping our baby” she didn’t realize the plural pronoun “we already love Lizzie but the subject hasn't come up yet.”

“Lizzie” the woman repeated, adjusting the name to her lips “it's a nice name.”

“I know” Kara smiled, lovingly “she already kicked and…”

“I don’t care about that, I don’t like children” she interrupted “I want to know how the child happened.”

And so, Kara spent the whole morning talking and detailing the last months for Cat. It wasn’t a surprise that the old CatCo CEO knew Supergirl’s identity, she was always too smart to not notice certain details and, of course, whenever someone questioned her about it, Cat pretended she knew nothing about it. Many times Alex insisted she had to the DEO sign a security protocol but Cat always dodged it and never admitted she figured out the Girl of Steel’s identity on her own.

Kara told her about the daxamites and how she defeated them, about how Rhea impregnated her best friend with her child. Cat was surprised by that plot twist and understood Kara’s choice to not tell her secret right away better, however, didn’t understand why she disappeared from the Luthor’s life in the first two months and wanted to lecture her about it. The hours went by fast and soon they had to say goodbye. Cat repeated that she needed to be fair, with herself and her girlfriend, because neither of them deserved to suffer and end something as grand as their trust in one another.

Kara decided she was going to tell Lena on New Year’s Eve.

By lunchtime, Lena texted her saying she was feeling better and missing her already. As an answer, Kara flew out the window and picked up food from her favorite Chinese place and also some flowers. Kara didn’t say anything because she wanted to surprise her girlfriend and end that sickness once for all. She had never felt more decided, she wanted what was best for the woman she loved and her daughter, she wanted to be honest and let fate decide whether Lena would or wouldn’t understand her reasons to keep the secret.

Kara came in from the front door since she had to change clothes to go to the flower shop, to find a crystal clear living room, with no traces from the night before. She made her way to the bedroom to find Lena lying peacefully on the bed, naked belly hugging a pillow. Kara’s smile could slice her face. Their hearts were beating softly, Kara could hear Lena whisper loving words to her daughter and her eyes teared up.

That until her stomach roared and the blond couldn’t hold her laugh.

“Kara!” Lena sat down slowly, still feeling a little weak “how long were you standing there?”

“Less than ten minutes” Kara smiled and sat on the bed “are you feeling better?” she pulled her closer and kissed her hello “did you drink water?”

“Yes,” Lena smiled “I’m still feeling weak and a little breathy, but the sickness is gone and I’m hungry.”

“I heard Lizzie complain” she smirked “poor baby.”

“Yeah, feel sorry for her and forget about who’s carrying her every day” Lena dramatized, making Kara snort. She lied down again and pulled the pillow over her face, hiding her flushed cheeks.

“Someone is jealous” Kara pulled her closer again, changing the pillow for her shoulder as a hiding place.

“I’m not” she grumbled.

“Oh, you are.”

“You’re going to make me cry” Lena faced her but was taken back by a breathtaking kiss. They made out for a while, losing themselves in the touch, eager for more.

However, Lena’s stomach made itself heard again.

“Let’s feed this kid” Kara whispered, tracing her face with her thumb “she’s bossy just like you.”

“But this hunger is yours, it’s your fault” Lena joked but Kara’s body tensed “Lizzie, you agree with you mom, don’t you?” she caressed the skin, feeling a little kick in return “that’s my girl.”

“That’s not fair, of course, she is going to agree with you” Kara complained, “you’re always right.”

“Yeah, I always am” Lena kissed her again and they got up to get lunch and spent their time between conversations and laughs. Soon after, Kara went back to her work and Lena got ready to go to L-Corp, promising her girlfriend she would be back soon and they would meet at the Christmas party.

 

***

 

Christmas had finally arrived and all the stores, shopping, and roads were crowded. Everyone was running out of time to buy the last supper ingredients and gifts to put under the tree. Lena took the day off and the next one too, spending the whole afternoon at her girlfriend's apartment, putting up Christmas lights, baking pies for the night, and putting the gifts under the tree. Eliza was also there and prepared the food with joy, filling the house with delicious smells. Soon Alex, Winn, James, and Sam would arrive to get the party started.

Unlike other times, Lena felt she was on the cliff’s edge of emotion. She had never decorated a Christmas tree so Kara bought everything they needed and taught her girlfriend the fun of it. Lena’s mind wandered to the first Holiday she was going to spend with her daughter, telling her about Santa Claus, gifting her, and eating milk and cookies by the fireplace. Kara didn’t know but Lena felt very grateful to be a part of that gathering. After all, Lena knew almost nothing about Christmas. How would she teach her daughter about something she never experienced? she questioned herself. The adoption lawyer was going to contact next month and bring the paper that could take the person she loved the most forever, but at the moment, Lena didn’t want to think about it.

The sight of the glowing Christmas tree in the room with a star on top of it and colorful packages under it, made Lena smile. As a kid, Lena always wanted to have a family holiday, she would put colors on the house and make everything look pretty, but her parents were never about childish celebrations and Lex, though he didn’t have anything against it, didn’t really care. So she would admire the other mansions surrounded with lights from her bedroom window and silently wish she was a part of it. And now, there she was, surrounded with wonderful people, feeling the coziness from the busy kitchen and cheerful conversations. Agnes was feeling happy and her puppies, now a bit smarter and more independent, strolled clumsily around the apartment.

Alex was an endless wheel of anxiety since the day before, when she showed up unannounced at L-Corp saying she had texted Sam, inviting her for the Christmas party. Lena giggled at the desperation and assured her everything would be alright. As soon as the agent left her office to return to the DEO, Sam barged in, also a pile of nerves, saying Alex had invited her to Kara’s apartment gathering and she didn’t know what to answer. Lena rolled her eyes and laughed, sure those two were perfect for each other in every way. Lena calmed her down and convinced her to say yes to the invitation.

Ruby also clearly had some participation in it, since she didn’t stop teasing her mother about having a crush on aunt Alex.

Little by little, everything got ready. Eliza put the table with Alex’s help and Kara finished putting the lights up, while Lena tidied the living room, taking the trash out, and picking her and Kara’s outfit. They showered together and got ready together, Kara complimenting her body and looking every two minutes. As it was cold, Lena chose jeans’ overall, and sneakers, trying to look as casual as she could. She let her hair down and put on light makeup and was glad to take a picture when her girlfriend asked to register the pregnancy process.

Winn and James were the first to arrive, bringing wine and a chocolate chiffon pie. Eliza said hello with a big smile and thanked the treats, soon everyone was gathered in the living room, lively chatting. Winn didn’t leave Lena’s side for one minute, constantly asking how she was feeling and wanting to know more about Lizzie. It was different to receive this kind of attention, Lena didn’t know how to react or what to expect, she was never so scared for and those were Kara’s friends, not her. James was more distant, just answering questions directed to him and avoiding eye contact, which upset her a little because Lena knew he was important for her girlfriend.

“Do you think she’s coming?” Alex asked for the fifth time making Lena sigh.

“Of course she’s coming, calm down” she held her hand “it’s only ten-thirty.”

“Right,” Alex frowned, “it’s just that everyone arrived an hour ago already, and she…”

“Alex, trust me” Lena tried to be gentle “I’m sure she got caught up in something or Ruby is giving her some work.”

The doorbell rang and Lena heard Alex’s heart skip a beat. They looked at each other with a smile.

“Sorry, I’m late,” Sam said as soon as Alex got the door “I didn’t want to show up empty-handed but I also didn’t know what to bring, so I got a little bit of everything” she laughed nervously “I’m sorry.”

“Aunt Alex!” Ruby interrupted, hugging the woman “where are the puppies?”

“Behind the couch” Alex pointed and the girl ran to them “you shouldn’t have” she smiled and took the packages, along with Sam’s coat, and guided her in “Eliza cooked enough food for an army and the boys brought pie.”

“I’m a little out of place” Sam confessed, blushed “I don’t really know anyone here besides that pregnant lady” she pointed to Lena, making the redhead smile.

“They’re fun and talk too much, they’re going to love you” Alex took her hand and Sam smiled at the contact “follow me.”

Alex introduced Sam to her mother, who hugged the CFO tight and drowned her in compliments, exposing that her daughter wouldn’t stop talking about Ruby. Sam relaxed a little and chose to compliment the food’s delicious smell. After that, the pair headed to the living room, where Lena, Kara, and Winn shared a couch while James was sitting on an armchair. They were all talking and taking bites of the starters, letting the pregnant lady have all the grape juice. As soon as the group saw the two women approaching, they stopped the conversation and smiled at them.

“Guys, this is Samantha?” Each person said an awkward hello “Sam this is Winn, James, Kara, my sister who you probably already know because she is Lena’s shadow” they laughed “and this…” she pointed to the CEO “well, doesn’t matter.”

“Just say you love me, Alex” Lena teased “you can’t pretend anymore.”

“As I said, doesn’t matter” Alex shot back, grimacing on purpose “not all Danvers is in love with you, Lutessa.”

“I hope not” Sam commented and Winn had to suppress a high scream “she can’t have all for herself.”

“Easy there, tiger” Lena joked “I’m very glad for the Danvers I have, thank you.”

“Is this our cue to leave?” Winn asked and the group laughed.

“Welcome, Sam” Kara smiled with joy “where is Ruby?”

“If you see the puppies, you’re going to see her too” she answered and Alex guided them to two armchairs where they sat down.

“You’re CatCo’s CEO, right?” Sam asked James and he confirmed, rather proud “I heard the company is going through some financial problems and Cat Grant is selling it, how are you going to deal with this now?”

“We don’t know what’s going to happen yet, no one made a concrete offer yet and Cat is trying to close some deals with investors” he explained “I hope nothing dramatic happens. Edge showed interest in it” Lena frowned at the name.

“I hope he doesn’t get it,” she commented.

“Guys, it’s Christmas, let’s not talk about stocks and millionaire purchases” Winn interrupted “let’s play a game.”

“And what do you suggest?” Alex questioned.

“Association game” Kara answered. She and Winn spent hours deciding which game they should play that evening.

“Here’s how it works, we’re playing right to left, starting with James and ending with me” he explained, “each person has to write down a word or phrase they associate with each person here, then the person next to them has to guess which word matched which person, whoever guesses more correctly gets a point and so we go till we get tired really.”

Everyone got one pen and a piece of paper and spent quiet minutes wondering what to write down. Sam got some help from Kara to know more about James and Winn so she could finish her part. Once they were all ready, James turned to Sam and said his words.

“Okay, Sam” he scoffed, “Pizza, Star Wars, target shooting, photography, and quantum physics.”

The silence extended for a couple more moments until she finally answered.

“Pizza is Kara” the blond pretended to complain but couldn’t hide her smile “target shooting is Alex, photography I assume is you, now we have two nerds left and I’m confused” they laughed “but, knowing the friend I know, quantum physics is Lena” the CEO shot her hand up guilty and laughed” okay, my turn” she turned to Alex.

“Shoot.”

“Care, comprehension, friendship, determination, and adviser,” she said, taking everyone by surprise “and there’s an extra one but I’m leaving it for the end.”

“Right” Alex looked up and down everyone in the room “care is Lena, for sure” the woman smiled, embarrassed “friendship is Winn, comprehension is Kara, adviser is James and determination is you” she finished in a proud tone.

“Nice, Alex!” Winn exclaimed “I wouldn’t have gotten one right, those are difficult words, I’m considering rewriting mine now.”

“What was the extra word?” Alex turned back to Sam, who showed her a piece of paper “Eight-thirty session, January second, on me.”

“Applauses for Samantha Arias” Winn cheered making Lena snort “wow, there is no subtlety for lesbians.”

“Winn!” Kara’s stomach was hurting from laughing.

“That’s my girl” Lena nodded.

“That’s more than one word” Alex whispered to Sam.

“Can be more than one date too” Sam whispered back, getting the agent by surprise. But Lena laughed out loud and Kara grimaced, after all, super hearing was still a thing.

“No whispering, you can’t make a pregnant woman curious” Lena teased.

“I wish I could use that excuse” Winn complained “Alex, it’s your turn.”

“Right” she turned to Lena, still feeling a little oozy. She wasn’t expecting an invitation like that so soon “chatty, mom, seedy, hot, and stubborn.”

“Stubborn is James” Lena was direct. Winn failed trying not to laugh at James' face.

“Honesty is key” Sam poked, smiling.

“Okay, mom is Sam since I’m not in there” Lena stopped to think, one hand her belly and another fidgeting with the delicate gold chain around her neck “but I’m disappointed you put the ‘hot’ for yourself and not her.”

“Missed chance, Alex” Winn tagged along with the teasing.

“I have every Monday to do that, Lena, chill” she shot back.

“Ugh, Alex!” Kara complained, “can we just play without innuendos?”

“Okay, okay” Lena nodded “chatty could only be Kara but seedy is always going to be about her, so chatty is Winn” he pretended to be offended at that “my turn” she turned to him.

“Please have mercy on my poor peasant brain, Lena”

“Sarcasm, fear, presumption, tenderness and heart” she smirked.

“Playing dirty, but okay” he scoffed “sarcasm is Alex, obviously, fear is me and I’m not even going to deny that” they laughed “tenderness is Kara? But heat… Lena what kind of words are those?” he frowned “heat.... heat…” so Kara slightly touched his forearm “Kara!”

“Heat, sure” Alex provoked.

“We know what kind of heat you’re talking about” Sam joined in.

“Guilty as charged” Lena shrugged “there’s two left.”

“Tenderness in Sam, I suppose and presumption is my poor friend James” Olsen shrugged, guilty as charged as well “Kara, your turn.”

“Okay, I’m ready,” she smiled.

“Beer.”

“Alex!”

“Superman”

“James!”

“Beauty.”

“not you” Alex interrupted “okay, Winn.”

"Intelligent."

“Uh, that’s a tough one… both Sam and Lena are smart.”

“Do you want to hear the last one?” they nodded

“Boobs.”

“Lena!” they said together, making Alex crack and almost fall from her chair. James hid his face, trying not to cry laughing, Sam helped the redhead breathe again while Lena smiled and winked at her girlfriend.

“I have been exposed.” the CEO joked.

“Sorry to interrupt, but dinner is ready” Eliza appeared by the door with Ruby next to her “let’s eat and then exchange gifts, it’s almost midnight.”

They all got up and headed to the table, where the food looked as good as it smelled. The conversation flew lightly, Eliza talked about her new job and listened to Sam and Lena tell news about L-Corp, James and Kara talk about CatCo and Winn spoil Lena ll night saying he had got both her and Lizzie different gifts and ask to see the new ultrasound images since Kara refused to show him because of jealousy. Alex told her mom about her routine, how she was spending Mondays with Ruby, and the science fair situation, to which the girl joined in and told her all about it.

When the clock rang midnight, they hugged each other, wishing merry Christmas and exchanging kind words of happiness and prosperity. Eliza was proud to see her daughter grow more and more mature and was also very happy to see Lena more accepting of her pregnancy, she noticed how the woman was more patient and kind with herself. Eliza knew how hard it was for the CEO to deal with so much attention and affection now, so she hugged her tight and lightly kissed her belly, whispering a merry Christmas to Lizzie.

Gifts were exchanged and they all got excited. The number of packages almost didn't fit under the tree. Ruby was the one most spoiled, along with Lizzie, of course. Lena got even more things to put in the mess she had bought and hidden in her apartment’s office. Baby bottles, tiny overalls and shoes, diapers, and decoration items. Kara held her hand the whole time and helped her clean the happy tears that insisted on falling, grateful for having all those people in her life.

While some people said goodbye and others were still caught in conversations, Lena dragged her girlfriend to her room and asked her to wait a moment. She opened the bedside table and took out a small velvet black box. Kara studied the object, curious to know what it was.

“I know I already gave you a gift, but I wanted to give you this one in private” Lena confessed, nervous “it means the world to me to have you by my side and I want you to be sure of that, Kara. Since the beginning, you were comprehensive, even though we both made some mistakes along the way and I couldn’t be more grateful that you care about me and Lizzie.”

“I love you two, Lena” Kara kissed her softly “I really do love you.”

“That’s why I got you this” Lena opened the little box, taking off a soft golden chain, just like her own, but instead of a little girl, this had a small L carved in gold “so that you’ll always have seedy next to your heart, so you know you’re just as much her mother as I am.”

As she held the gift in her hand, Kara let a sob escape her throat and tears fell freely on her cheeks. She wasn’t expecting emotion that intense to hit her or to be considered a mom without Supergirl's uniform. Her heart was beating out of time, she knew Lena could hear it and she promised herself she was going to tell her the truth on New Year's Eve, once they were alone at home. Lena, seeing her girlfriend cry, pulled for a tight hug, and there they stayed until both hearts calmed down and they went back to the living room to say goodbye.

 

***

 

December 31 came and brought rain and freezing wind with it. The stores closed earlier and the streets were empty in the afternoon and most National City residents decided to spend the holiday out of town. Eliza had to go back to Midvale because she had already planned to spend new year’s eve at a friend’s house. Winn and James also had plans to go out, since neither of them had a lot of work that week, the news was minimal and not even Supergirl had a lot to do. Also, Winn was dying to talk about the girl he was seeing through James didn’t know why he was so mysterious about it. Alex spent the day with Sam and Ruby, who needed to help finish off her science fair project before schools returned and just wanted to
spend time with her new friend.

So, Kara and Lena had the afternoon free, enjoying it lying on the couch at Kara’s apartment watching cartoons and touching under the blanket. Paying attention to the screen was hard where there was an extremely turned-on woman next to you, not that Kara was complaining. Filled with laughter and distractions, the day went by and the night rose and both women went for a shower. Alex was going to pick them up since they were spending the evening at Sam’s place. It wasn’t going to be anything special but Sam had already ordered a complete dinner from her favorite Thai place and prepared her specialty, apple pie. Ruby’s favorite.

As amazing as it was, the kryptonian was anxious. All that was in her mind was: tell the truth. She had promised Cat and herself, she didn’t want to keep hiding it, it wasn’t fair. Kara rehearsed her lines and thought of every possible reaction, trying not to think only of the worst and get sad about it. Lena hadn’t said I love you yet, maybe she never would, Kara couldn’t know. And that threw her off a little, maybe a lot. What if she misunderstood it all? What if Lena wasn’t as much in love as she was?

What if it all went wrong?

Oh, Rao.

“Are you okay?” Kara asked her girlfriend, who looked uncomfortable in the car, pressing her finger on her belly “Lena?”

“Just feeling a little pain, but I’m fine” she sighed. Some fireworks exploded in the sky, indicating the year was about to end in an hour or so.

“Are you sure?” Kara reached for her hand “we can call doctor Cameron.”

“I’ll let you know if it gets worse.”

“After the fireworks, I want to tell you something” she murmured anxiously but Lena squeezed her hand lightly.

“You can tell me anything.”

The trio said hello to Sam and Ruby by the door and went straight to the kitchen, sitting around the table. Ruby watched the tv showing New York attentively, dreaming about participating and visiting her favorite city one day. The women talked about work, plans, and new L-Corp projects. Kara barely paid attention to the conversation, noticing how her girlfriend was chewing on her mouth and breathing heavily, tightening her grip on the water glass. If Lena didn’t get herself together, that glass was going to break in her hand. But more importantly, Kara could listen to her daughter’s heartbeat pounding fast like a warning that something was wrong. Very wrong.

The clock was still approaching midnight but there already were fireworks exploding outside, coloring the grey sky. Sam told them to go to the back porch and they all agreed. Alex followed the lead and Ruby hugged her waist, smiling and saying she couldn’t wait for the science fair. They certainly were a great team. On the corridor, Kara touched Lena’s arm and guided her the opposite way, seeing the CEO constantly caress the belly. Kara didn’t know why she was nervous anymore if it was because she was minutes away from telling the truth or the way Lena was acting. When she told Alex she was going to reveal her identity, Kara didn’t think anything would get in her way.

However, fate didn’t seem to agree to that.

“Lena, you’re not well,” Kara said worried “what are you feeling?”

“So much pain, Kara” Lena let her tears fall in desperation “Kara, it hurts so much” she sobbed, hugging her belly as if she was trying to protect it.

Fireworks reached the sky and the noise was deafening for someone with super hearing. Like Supergirl, but also like Lena and Seedy. The woman covered her ears and whimpered in pain.

Midnight.

The colorful explosion was beautiful, lighting up the cold rainy night and enchanting all that watching another passing of the year. But, the look on Lena’s green eyes made clear what she was feeling. Fear. Lena wailed, hiding her face on Kara’s shoulder, begging in tears to make the noise stop. Alex and Sam ran inside to find the kryptonian desperately trying to control her girlfriend. Lena cried and gripped hard on her shirt, repeating that it was hurting and she couldn’t breathe. Kara could feel in her skin the strength Lena was putting on her nail, that might actually leave a mark.

“Kara!” she begged again “It hurt!” M-my…” she sobbed, and Kara touched her belly where Lizzie was kicking in panic “Kara, make it stop!”

“Lena, take a deep breath” Sam held her from behind “are you feeling contractions?”

“Yes!”

“Alex, what do I do?” Kara turned to her sister and the redhead pulled them to the bathroom “Alex!”

“Keep her in here” Alex ordered “this kid’s super hearing can’t handle it and she’s going to end up having this baby right here. Sam, I need you to grab my bag in the kitchen, Ruby, close all the windows and doors, okay?” mother and daughter nodded and ran in opposite directions “Lena, you need to take a deep breath, okay?” she didn’t answer.

Kara sat down next to Lena on the floor and put her body over hers, feeling Lena’s skin get colder and shivering. She was sobbing and repeated ‘it hurts’ like a mantra. Sam ran back in and handled Alex the heavy bag.

“Take me out of here, please” she implored “Lizzie is in pain… s-she… Kara, please, I can’t… I can’t lose my daughter…”

“Shhh” Kara held her with care and kissed the head covered in sweat, “everything is going to be okay, I promise. We’re not losing our daughter” she repeated that phrase, knowing it was an assurance both for her and Lena.

Alex stood on the sink and changed the common lights for red ones, asking Sam to turn them on right away, Kara felt her strength slowly fade, the moment’s remains and tiredness weighed on her, just like she felt it happened to the woman in her arms. But her protection disappeared too and Lena’s immune system acted quickly and she screamed. The sound could break any glass on the house, it was desperate and shrill. It was her body's last show of strength, she shivered one last time. The hot tears burnt her pale face, her eyes were red and petrified, her hands still holding to Kara’s shirt so tightly it could tear it apart.

Her eyes grew tired and her skin got even colder, her arms slowly let go and her lips gained a strange purple color. Alex called her name but there was no answer, Lena was passed out. Sam quickly dialed for an ambulance but there was something in Kara’s blue eyes that showed something worse was happening.

 

When Kara looked down at her jeans, feeling something wet on it, her heart stopped beating.

Blood.

Lena’s white tan pant was stained with blood.

Chapter 19: Nothing's Gonna Hurt You

Notes:

guys... I'm so sorry I'm late
but I promise you the waiting is worth it, this one is a l o n g one.

For those who don't know, the fic is (supposed to be) updated every Tuesday.

Don't forget to leave kudos and comments!

Chapter Text

At dangerous and panicking moments, the first defense mechanism your body activates is adrenaline. You feel as if you’re racing and your opponent is time, and time is a great competitor. The first reaction is to run, scream and take the first decision that comes to mind, even if it isn’t plausible or coherent. Madness often looks like the perfect ally at times like these and you are welcoming any help. However, adding every psychological and mental symptom, there are still the physical ones, and even though your brain is sending thousands of synapses, your body refuses to move. As if it was frozen in place.

Kara felt like that: petrified. The blood in her finger made her heart stop and she forgot how to breathe. It was like seeing Krypton exploding behind herself and her parents weaving from afar, saying goodbye to their only daughter, the only heir to a whole population. As much as she wanted to scream and cry, nothing came out of her throat, her eyes remained dry and her lips almost bled from the strength she was clenching them. Lena was still on her lap, fireworks still going on outside, people laughing on the streets while Kara was losing her world again. The anguish was eating her alive, tearing her apart like a prey devouring its hunt.

She was losing her best friend. She was losing her only daughter.

The red light lamps were still draining her energy, her powers faded and tiredness was limping her. Kara wanted to run away, to fly somewhere quieter and promise her girlfriend over and over that everything was going to be okay, that she would save them in time, that she would take the pain and fear from her eyes. She wanted to scream, to yell for help, to tell Lizzie not to give up, not to leave, because saying goodbye to her would be like death and Kara didn’t want to die. Not now. Not now that she had found her home, her family, and an entirely new reason to be alive. When she said she loved Lena, the words meant and weighted differently from all the other times she professed those words to other people. She loved Lena more than she could comprehend and her body ached to try to contain that love in an iron shape.

There wasn’t much to do at that moment, leaving the house was out of the question, the fireworks would harm them even more. But Kara wanted to act and having Lena’s bloody body on her was not helping. The fright was palpable in her crystal blue eyes. She held the woman she loved in her hands and repeated as many times as possible, she was going to take them out of there, they were going to be safe. She kissed every inch of her face, going from her eyes to her nose, cheeks, and finally her pale dry lips. Almost inaudibly, Kara began to pray. She prayed to Rao not to abandon her again, not to lose her family again, and to keep her daughter safe and sound. Lizzie was kryptonian, she would grow up and learn about her family, her planet, her grandparents, and her god.

She prayed and prayed and prayed until her throat was sure. Just wishing Rao would listen to it.

“Alex, what do I do?” Kara’s voice died “what do I do…”

“We have to keep her in here, it’s dangerous to go out” Alex was direct, she knew her sister was about to break down. Sam held tight to Ruby, waiting for more orders.

“The blood…” she dried the tears “sh-she… I… I need to do something…”

“It’s almost one in the morning and... Kara, what are you doing?” The agent asked, seeing the woman stand up, carrying Lena in her arms “Kara!”

“I can’t lose my family again, Alex!” there was a rage in her words “I’m not going to watch it all fall apart again, I won’t let it happen!”

“I know you’re scared and…”

“No!” Kara shouted “you have no idea what I’m feeling, you don’t know how much it’s hurting and how much I just want…” she sobbed “you have no idea…” Kara sighed, trying to regain control of herself “Sam, I need you to keep a secret.”

“Anything” she answered right away. Kara nodded and undid the first buttons of her shirt, revealing the superhero uniform underneath it “do whatever you need to do, just keep her safe, okay?” Sam smiled in understanding, with no questions to make.

“Call doctor Cameron and tell her we’re in the hospital” Alex turned to Sam, who went back to the kitchen, looking for the Luthor’s phone.

The redhead looked over one last time to her sister and was met with an insecure nod, but she understood it. It was her choice and doing nothing would only make her worse. Using her super speed, Kara went outside and flew away, not caring she was still using civilian clothes, not caring people might find out her secret identity, if they were going to ask about the woman in her arms or if the DEO would bench her for months because of her recklessness. Kara just wanted to save the two people she was holding. A few fireworks still ripped the dark blue sky but with less strength. Kara held the Luthor tight, thankful she was wearing a jacket and unconscious.

She did her best trying not to cry midair, she couldn’t fall apart now, she just couldn’t.

Kara landed quietly at the hospital's backdoor and took a deep breath, focusing on walking at human speed. She went in through the front door and screamed for help, getting a few curious and concerned patients in the waiting room. Two nurses ran to her with a stretch and asked her to place the body on top of it. Kara didn’t know what to say or answer, her brain her short-circuited and the words just wouldn’t come out.

“How many months is she in?”

“Seven, er… I mean, we just entered the seventh” Kara corrected herself, walking fast through the halls.

“Do you have her ID?”

“N-no… but her name is Lena… Luthor” the nurses exchanged a look and understood the gravity of the situation, after all, L-Corp was the hospital’s most important funder.

“Are you related to her? This area is restricted, only family is allowed.”

“I… I’m not…”

“She’s her wife” Cameron walked up beside them, wearing her white coat and tying her hair up. It was clear that she wasn’t on duty that night, given the fancy outfit “Ms. Danvers is her wife and I want her to have whatever access someone is allowed to have.”

“Okay,” the nurse answered. The doctor shot Kara a half-smile and she was never so grateful to see a doctor in her life.

“I need her measured pressure, an urgent ultrasound, and a room” Cameron went back to her doctor attitude, checking Lena’s vital signs thoroughly, they were slowly regaining life.

“Kara…” the hero almost jumped up as she heard her name weakly whispered “Kara…”

“I’m here” Kara held her hands, they were cold “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”

Her stretcher was rolled to a corner with many medical gadgets and ultrasound computers, the nurses worked fast.

“The monitors, I need the monitor on her womb” Cameron repeated “Lena, can you hear me?” She flashed a light on her green eyes and the woman blinked “Lena, I need you to answer me. Can you hear me?”

She nodded weakly.

“Stay with me, okay?”

Her shirt was cut open, revealing her stomach with some bruises and the pregnancy line. Kara observed every movement attentively, never letting go of her hand. She wasn’t even able to focus on their heartbeats. The Lutho slowly came back to herself, squirm under the machine and whimpering in pain as she tried to sit up. Her eyes went wide, revealing the fear hidden in them and tears began to stroll down.

“Don’t move, Miss Luthor” the nurse said “I need you to stay down.”

“Kara!” she yelled in despair, tightening her finger in hers “Kara, she…I-I’m…”

“Shh…” Kara caressed her face “we’re in the hospital, you’re going to be okay.”

“I… I can’t” she sobbed “I ca-can’t, Kara. I can’t lose my daughter…” her body writhed and ached, her cheeks were burning under the tears “I can’t…” she whispered, sobbing and trying to reach for Lizzie.

“Don’t move,” the woman repeated.

“Lena, we’re checking Lizzie’s vital signs. I need you to work with me and try to keep her calm” Cameron said, turning the machine on.

Soon the monitor lit up and loud rushed heartbeat sounds filled the room, making Lena cry in relief.

Lizzie was alive.

“Her heartbeats are accelerated but that’s a good sign” the doctor explained “I need an emergency transvaginal ultrasound and blood tests. Keep me posted on her blood pressure, and sugar levels, and heartbeat,” she said “it’s all we can do for now. Kara, I need you to step away for a moment and let us run the procedures, you can stay though, it’s important for Lena to feel safe and avoid as much stress as she can.”

Still, dizzy, Kara stayed next to Lena, praying in silence and trying not to hug her in the middle of that mess. The Luthor’s clothing was taken away and replaced by hospital clothes, her thighs were still stained in dried blood, just like her intimate parts and her lower stomach. Cameron did the best she could, asking Lena for every detail of her feelings now and before. While they talked, the nurses took her blood and checked the machines constantly, trying to move as fast as they could. Minutes went by in a blink of an eye.

But for Kara, it felt like an eternity. A long, painful eternity.

The doctor excused her herself and so did the nurses. Lena was still awake, but in shock, the only thing moving was her trembling lips. Once they were alone, they looked at each other. Green met blue. Lena sighed longly and crumbled, trying to drown out a painful wale that ripped through her throat. Lara sat beside her, pulling her in her arms and letting her grab her waist with whatever strength was left. The always so neat raven hair was now rumpled and sticky, Her eyes had a red line going down the black and blue shadow under it, to the pale cheeks.

Lena was broken, once again.

“Lena, I have your transvaginal results” Cameron walked into the room and smiled at the sight of the couple on the stretcher.

“Is Lizzie okay? Is… is she hurt? In pain?” her voice was hoarse.

"She's fine, just had a strong agitation due to the stressful situation” she explained “bleedings during the pregnancy can be normal, but for you, your pregnancy is almost ending so it’s extremely dangerous. The pan could cause contractions and having a premature baby isn’t the best choice here” both women paid attention, trying to keep calm “the lungs are the last organs to completely develop, if Lizzie were born now, we’d have to keep her at the neonatal ICU until she could breathe on her own. So, we were lucky.

“What happens now?” Kara asked.

“Due to this agitation, the mother is the one who got the worst of it, physically speaking” she continued “you had a serious bleeding, caused by a placenta movement and bruises on your cervix” Lena’s breath hitched, terrified “but now everything is under control, what really happened, was your placenta moved too much, but now we can monitor and take care of you, okay?” she nodded “I need you to stay at the hospital another day and, to be honest, I’m still concerned so I'll keep you here a while. You can bring your clothes, personal hygiene, notebook in case you want to distract yourself and you’re allowed to have one family visitor” she smiled calmly “you don’t have to worry, Lizzie is a strong girl, I never met a girl so strong as her. In other scenarios, the mother would have gone into labor. What I find strange is that she reacted in such an uncommon way, are you sure nothing else happened?” Lena looked over her girlfriend, who stood quiet.

“What she told you was exactly what happened” Kara answered for her.

“Right,” Cameron got up with Lena’s medical record in hand “there are two women here to see you, should I call them in?”

“I’ll do it” Kara volunteered and the doctor nodded, walking out.

Silence reigned until Kara created guts to speak again.

“Do you want me to call Sam in?” she asked and Lena seemed to hesitate, still holding her body tight, afraid to let go and the world might fall apart “I can go get whatever you need in your apartment” she murmured, gently stroking her back.

“Will you come back?” her voice was trembling “I can’t…”

“I will” Kara didn’t think twice “I’m never going to leave you, Lena. Never” she kissed her hair “while we’re here, I’m going to let James know about what happened and Alex can help me get your clothes and everything else. It won’t take long.

“Okay” Lena sighed “can you call Sam for me?”

“Of course, baby” she smiled and broke apart, immediately missing the physical touch.

As Kara left the room, she found Alex and Sam sitting in the waiting room, Ruby was lying on her mom’s shoulder. She let Sam know Lena was asking for her and they got up, letting RUby use all the seats as a bed and Alex’s jacket as a pillow. The door behind her closed and the weight of the last hours fell on the kryptonian back like mountains. And at the moment, she wasn’t a girl of steel anymore. Her human side screamed for help, for relief, for consolation. Once Alex got closer and pulled her for a hug, she heard a clear, painful sob escape her lips. Her body was shaking with fright as despair, her anguishes bleeding out of her eyes.

Kara never felt so afraid, she had never been so controlled by her emotions like now. It was like an ocean had been set free inside herself and everything was dragged by the tsunami. She remained strong when she needed to, gave Lena the shoulder she needed was going to keep needing for the time she stayed there. Lizzie was being monitored and so was her mother, both were going to be watched closely. As she stepped back from her sister, Alex held her with a warm face and kissed her cheeks. She wasn’t alone, she didn’t need to go through this alone. Kara’s hearing was more focused and refined, she could hear the CEO crying from her room and her heart broke again.

It was going to be a hard journey and her secret was going to have to wait for her daughter’s birth, after all, Lena couldn’t go through any more stress. It was a delicate, complex but right decision. It was a sacrifice Kara had to make for the woman she loved and for the daughter that needed safety and protection.

“Ask Lena to make a list of what she needs and we’re going to pick it up,” Alex said, “I’m going to let J’onn know and tell him Supergirl won’t be working, you have to let James know too, do you want me to do that for you?”

“No, that’s okay, just deal with the DEO, please,” she asked “I have to get myself some clothes too…”

“We’re with you in this okay?” Alex kissed her hands “You have to be strong and rested to give Lena and Lizzie the support they need right now. So I’m going to be here and can be with her when you need a break, food, and a shower. I’m sure Sam is going to say the same.”

“Thanks, Alex…” Kara sighed, the tiredness was winning the battle against her body.

“I love you, Kara” she smiled “more than anything in the world.”

“I love you too.”

 

***

 

The year certainly didn’t begin like they wanted to and was far from any expectations they had. After being transferred to a private room of the hospital, Lena tried to relax. An impossible job. Feeling every emotion emerge again, she asked Kara to lay with her and hold her tight. Kara did it without thinking twice. Contemplating the dark and hearing their heartbeats, Kara waited until her girlfriend fell asleep. The monitor was removed from her belly, the only sound coming from the room was Lena’s beating heart, but both of them were glad for their super hearing.

 

List in hands, Alex and her sister made their way to the Luthor’s apartment, getting her personal and work things, of course. Kara used the time to drop by her home and change clothes. She never felt so exhausted and not even the hot water seemed to make her muscles relax. She cried silently for long minutes, letting a little of her pain go down the drain. As she left, Kara was met by her sister’s warm brown eyes and open arms and give whatever comfort she needed. They returned to the hospital and so the agent let her sister try to get some sleep.

The doctor showed up again once the sun had risen, explaining that the blood tests were normal and now all she could do was rest as much as she could. Lena had to stay under observation and would probably be discharged the next day. Most time, Lena slept or stayed quiet, lost in her confusingly anguishing thoughts. Her nightmares came back, taking what remained of her energy to carry Lizzie for another three whole months. In her mind, a voice told her she was a coward, that she was failing the task of keeping her daughter safe and her luck wouldn’t last for long. And that made her heart sink down instead of beat up.

Her hands never left her stomach and her lips professed quiet words of love and tenderness for the little Luthor, her tears dried on the shirt of the blond woman by her side, who never left her place. Kara stayed with her every second of the day.

“Hey, can I come in?” a smiley redhead showed up by the door.

“Alex” Lena smiled back, leaving her notes aside and sitting up “of course you can come unless you’re only here to bother me.”

“It’s my role in this friendship, Luthor” she smirked “what would I do without you? What fun would that be?” they laughed.

“You’d do a lot without me, I bet” she answered.

“Yeah, but it would be no fun” Alex commented and sat on the bed “how are you feeling?”

“A bit sleepy, because of the meds, but better than before” she shrugged “I didn’t have any more bleedings and Lizzie is still strong.”

“She’s strong like her mother, determined,” she said, “and stubborn, probably.”

“Thanks for the kind remarks, Alex” Lena rolled her eyes “I thought you were with Sam. Where is she?”

“She went out to buy the last materials for Ruby’s science fair and the kid also wanted to check out a new store” Alex fidgeted, nervous “we also have our first date tomorrow and I don’t know… what to expect. God, I sound like a teenager” Lena snorted.

“It’s going to be fine and you’re probably going to get a much better bed than the one I and Kara have available” Lena teased, making Alex red with embarrassment.

“You didn’t… ew, I don’t even want to think it” she closed her eyes and menaced “don’t… don’t… even continue.”

“Of course we didn’t do anything, I can’t even move, so that’s why I’m saying enjoy it for me” Lena winked.

“You’re impossible, Lutessa” she laughed “soon you’ll be out of here and you can… wait, let’s change the subject. Kara is my little sister!”

“Your little sister is very good at what she does if you want to know…”

“Ugh, I didn’t want to know…” Alex grumbled, hiding her face in her hands “I need therapy.”

“Sam can take care of it for you tomorrow in a very effective way” Lena teased again but felt a twinge on her stomach.

“Are you feeling okay?” Alex got up to step closer “do you want me to call someone?”

“No, it was just a kick” Lena confessed, though still in pain “it still hurts when she moves.”

“That’s why you need to rest and not worry about anything, okay?” she nodded “Sam took Agnes to her place, Ruby is doing a great job babysitting them, and tomorrow I’m going to take her and the puppies to my apartment. James gave Kara a leave for as much as she needs to keep you company, help you and remind you you’re not alone. Even Winn is dying worried. We’re your family, Lena, all of us. We’re not leaving here without you.”

Nothing, the truth was she knew nothing about that word.

To be honest, the only memories she had of moments like this were erased or blurred by tragedies, abandonment, and fear. She never had enough time to enjoy the time. Life did her job to end any trace of hope that crawled on her soul ever since the accident happened, ever since she started blaming herself for every mistake people made around her. To hear Alex say firmly and sincerely that sentence was like breaking every concrete wall she had built around herself. Tears of gratitude fell from her eyes.

“Thank you, Alex” she murmured and felt the warm hand dry the stubborn tears on her cheek.

“You don’t have to thank me, we all love you and we all love you that seedy growing in you” she smiled “you know who’s coming to National City?”

“Who?” Lena cocked a brow the way she always did.

“Eliza. As soon as she heard what happened she took the first flight here” she said, “she told me she’s going to have a very serious conversation with your doctor if she doesn’t take good care of you two” they laughed.

“There was no need but I appreciate the concern” Lena dismissed, too emotional to process the information “where is Kara?” Alex giggled at the question

“Did you miss me?” the blond appeared by the door, bringing the light she always hands and smiling like someone who had just find a reason to live “sorry I’m late, I was finishing bringing your surprise.”

“What surprise? Kara you know I had not known what is happening” Lena complained, “what are you up to?”

“Well, I’ll get going” Alex kissed Lena’s forehead and Kara’s cheek “tomorrow I’ll tell you every sordid detail of my date just to remind you of what you can’t do for the next two weeks” provoked.

“I hate you” Lena answered and Kara just sighed.

“Do you want to change your shirt?” Kara offered while going through her girlfriend’s suit “I know you don’t like to look sloppy, even though you look beautiful wearing anything, or nothing, but I think you get my point and I also think I’m talking too much and…” she shut her mouth for a few seconds “I’m sorry.”

Lena laughed pulled Kara by her hands, kissing her quickly.

“Kara, what are you up to?” she arched a brow, making her even more nervous.

“A very special person is here to see you and I’m sure you’re going to like it” Kara explained vaguely “do you want to change clothes?”

“Kara…”

“Trust me, please” she pointed, which unarmed the CEO completely.

“Okay,” she rolled her eyes “help me stand up.”

Still not being able to move the same way as before, Kara held Lena under her arms and helped her up. She took off her shirt and stopped to admire the beauty lying on her girlfriend, which made Lena blush and cover her breasts with her hands. Kara got closer and hugged her tightly but carefully, sighing at the contact of skin and skin. They looked at each other with warmth, losing themselves in the moment. If felt so good to finally feel good.”

“Arms” Kara requested and put on the large shirt she had bought for Lena months ago. She picked a comfortable short, one that was yours and Lena had stolen from her drawer “hold on to my shoulders, okay?”

“I feel like a child” Lena mumbled, standing on one foot at a time while Kara put the shorts on her “I hate being too dependent.”

“It’s just a for a little while, love, I promise” Kara kissed her quick “let’s sit you down again and call your surprise.”

In a couple of minutes, Kara ran outside and talked excitedly to someone, asking them to come in. When Lena turned to look at the person entering her room, her eyes shone and smiling was automatic.

“Julie!” she exclaimed, “you… how did you know?”

“Did you really think I wouldn't come to surprise the most amazing pregnant lady in National City? After me, obviously” she smirked “and I couldn’t miss the opportunity to say I’m friend’s with Lena Luthor at the reception” they laughed.

“Call me if you need anything,” Kara said, kissing her girlfriend’s hair and letting herself out to give the two women more privacy “I love you” she whispered, making Lena smile.

Julie, with her huge pregnant stomach, sat beside her friend and asked for more space, which resulted in two very pregnant ladies on the same small hospital bed. As soon as they were comfortable, the woman pulled her in for a hug and Lena didn’t refuse the contact, crying as she felt the warmth of another person that cared about her. After calming down, Julie told her that Ramona wanted to be a part of that moment so they Facetimed her, turning that end of the day much lighter and fun.

Kara was right, she really needed that surprise.

 

***

 

A: Lena, can I call you?

A: I know it’s late and maybe you’re tired…

A: forget it, never mind.

L: What happened?

L: Can I call you?

A: Please…

The phone rang two seconds later, scaring Alex with the velocity of it. Theoretically, she shouldn’t be calling or asking things of Lena right now, especially because in a few minutes she was about the go on the first date after Maggie. And maybe that was why she needed to talk to someone. And Lena was her best option at the moment.

“Hey, Alex, what’s up?” Lena asked as soon as she picked up.

“Is Kara there?” she didn’t want her sister to listen to it was relieved when Lena told her she was out to buy some food “okay.”

“Should I assume this has something to do with your date?” Alex sighed but said nothing “I’ll take that as a yes. What happened?”

“I’m so nervous, very, very nervous and…” she took a deep breath, trying to ignore the urgency of tears. Fuck. It was happening again. The panic, the anxiety eating her inside out the desperation to escape” and… I, might… er, have drunk a little and now… fuck, Lena. I’m going to ruin everything!” Alex closed her eyes for a few seconds, her apartment was quiet and only the kitchen light was on.

“Alex, take a deep breath,” Lena said, using her most calming tone “It’s completely normal to feel nervous, believe me.

“Sam is going to notice and I… I should probably cancel it…”

“If it will make you feel better, then cancel it” Lena continued “but I know you and I know it will only make things worse tomorrow when you wake up and remember you let your fear get the best of you again, that your addiction kept you from enjoying a good thing,” she said “look, Alex… I know it’s been a while since we talked about Maggie and I can only imagine it’s not easy for you, but it still hurts you.”

“I just don’t want to ruin everything… as I did with Maggie” Alex cried off quietly, feeling stupid about it.

“Alex, you didn’t ruin anything. Misunderstandings and breakups happen every day with every type of couple” Lena kept the tender voice “Maggie and you had a beautiful story while it lasted, remember the good moments and keep them in your heart, but the bad ones are around to show you why it didn’t work out.”

“I never had another person besides her, it feels so weird to start all over again and it’s like…” she sighed “like I’m actually leaving our story behind.”

“I understand how you’re feeling and I know I’m not the best person to give out advice about relationships, family, or literally anything that has to do with personal life” Lena half smiled “but you and I are similar when it comes to this, do you remember when you told me to allow myself to feel?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, I’m asking you to do the same now, allow yourself” Alex smiled with the memory of that day in the pub months ago, “you told me I didn’t have to step out of my glass dome but I could let someone in. I’m not saying it’s easy but I can assure you it’s worth it. I never told you this, but maybe the time is now.

“Are you going to tell me you love me?” Alex provokes, knowing very well both of them preferred sarcastic lines than emotional conversations “I already know that, Lutessa, I’m just waiting for you to get down on one knee.”

“As much as I am in love with the Danvers, I’ll pass” Lena retorted “Kara is more than enough for me and I don’t want to get in my friend’s way, Sam can be a little scary when she wants to” she teased and Alex grumbled “what I was going to say is, that if now I'm actually enjoying my pregnancy without freaking out like my family has done, it’s because I had an unbearable redhead beside me reminded me I deserve good things, even if the whole world says the opposite. You deserve good things too, Alex.”

Alex sighed again and more tears burnt her cheeks. Her hands were shaking, her body was begging for more alcohol and her mouth went dry. She looked over to the bottle of scotch on the table, half full. She had drunk three doses which weren’t enough to get her drunk but enough to pull her to the edge of lacking control. She needed to take it back, she needed to relax and breathe deeply until every trembling nerve on her skin was hers again.

“I’m sorry…” she murmured, leaving Lena a bit confused as to why she was apologizing.

The Luthor sighed, assuming she was referring to the drinking.

“One day at a time” Lena answered “one struggle at a time. Put the bottle back on the cupboard, take a shower and take a deep breath. If you’re still afraid then, I can talk to Sam, she will understand” she waited while the other side was silent.

“That’s okay, I won’t cancel” Alex finally said “thanks, Lena. I shouldn’t have even called, you shouldn’t be worrying and I…”

“Don’t apologize, we’re friends, remember?” Lena smiled “I care about you and I’m proud of you.”

“And now you confess your undying love for me?”

“Never, Danvers.”

They hang up at the same time and Alex made her way to the bathroom, taking a long cold shower, trying to numb her skin. Since it was a movie date, the outfit was casual and comfortable, which she appreciated. She wasn’t ready for fancy restaurants or grand romantic things, hell, she didn't even want to get into a tight dress and heels. Alex glanced over to the mirror and smiled, walking out. Nothing that she was doing would erase her story with Maggie. They had loved each other, took care of each other and if there was one thing Alex learned from it was then they should kiss the girls they wanted to kiss. She was going to take every good moment with her and close that door for good, for her own well-being.

And she certainly wanted to kiss Samantha Arias.

The old town theatre, placed far away from the crowded streets and shopping malls, was practically empty, apart from old couples that went there every week and small friend groups. During all the years she lived in National City, Alex had only been there once and didn’t even watch a movie. In fact, she was chasing an alien thrice was the size that ran much faster than a normal human being. She remembered the shiny signs and how she thought about coming back with her sister one day. Kara love theatres, ever since her first year on Earth and was always excited about the smell of buttered popcorn, even though the noise of them popping used to scare her.

Alex paid the cabby and walked slowly to the entrance, finding the familiar figure waiting for her. However, something was different.

“Sam?”

There was no answer.

“Sam?” Alex tried again but the woman stood still, her eyes focused on something across the street but there was nothing there, her hands were closed in a tight fist. Alex noticed the same tone of red in her eyes as that day in the park “Sam, can you hear me?” she touched her arm lightly and she blinked.

“I-I’m… Alex!” Sam smiled as if nothing had happened “have you arrive for long?”

“No…” she frowned. Something was very wrong “is everything okay? You seemed… absent-minded.”

“Just a little tired, Ruby has been driving me crazy with the whole science fair thing, and L-Corp has been so busy these days’ she sighed “sorry about that, I didn’t want to come and just complain on our first date” she laughed nervously “not that I don’t want to, because I do want to watch this movie with you, and I…”

Alex rolled her eyes and put her lips on her, surprising Sam. Her hand held her face and Sam didn’t react. She wasn’t ready yet. But quickly something clicked and her body relaxed and all the tension bothering her vanished with a blink. Her hands went up the redhead’s jacket, stopping in her neck and pulling her body even closer. They broke it off but still standing close, and smiling shyly.

“Is this enough to show you I want it too?” Alex murmured.

“Totally” Sam kissed her again “I can get used to this” she laughed. Alex intertwined their hands.

“You better.”

During the session, Alex tried to ignore the concern about the weird thing that happened half an hour earlier. Sam had gone back to her normal state and was distracted eating popcorn and talking about the actors in the movie, smiling at her partner. It had been centuries since Alex had felt so good and so light, Arias made her go back to a distant time of her life, where falling in love looked easy. They took advantage of the almost empty room to kiss more times and laugh about how teenager-y that was and how good it felt to enjoy an evening like that. As soon as the movie ended they walked together to the park, hand still holding hand, and bought hot dogs from one of the stands.

“Fuck, this is so good!” Sam let a moan out as she tastes the sandwich. Alex blocked her stupid mind as fast as she could. Jesus Christ! she thought to herself “I can’t remember the last time I had something like this.”

“Some people enjoy the torture” Alex teased “not me though.”

“Someone is feeling funny today” Sam smiled, tracing her thumb on Alex’s mouth to clean some said “we’ll how long this posture lasts” she provoked, watching her breathing hitch.

“Someone is provocative today” Alex retorted, though still nervous like hell “it has been so long since I just stopped to sit at the park that just being here feels weird.”

“I know how you feel, ever since Ruby was born I’ve been living the eyes of a hurricane” she confessed, “I love her with all my heart but I would do almost anything for a break.”

“You know where to leave her when you need to” Alex smiled, sincere.

“I know, and I’m pretty sure would be happier than me about it” they laughed “she really likes you.”

“It’s mutual” she answered, finishing the hotdog and cleaning her mouth.

“And what would say about her mother?” Sam turned to her and fidgeted with her leather jacket, getting their faces closer “or are you here just for the daughter?”

“Just for the daughter, completely” she joked, making Sam laughed. But her breathing fastened as her eyes met hers and she looked down to her lips again “however I must admit her mother messes with me.”

“Hmm, yeah?” she murmured, kissing her deeply and pushing away “in what way?”

“In every way, possible” Alex was sincere again.

The next kiss was deeper and more urgent, both thirsty for the taste, Alex felt her body overheat in seconds and a small pulsation on her center grew, making her hands shake. The anxiety was still there, and so was the fear, the hesitation, the urge to run as far as possible. But everything felt easier when Sam was touching her in such a tender way. They enjoyed the rest of the evening by the lake, holding each other, both happy they took that step further.

 

***

 

Two days went by faster than Lena had thought, though she almost died of boredom at the hospital. Kara did everything to distract her, movies, board games, massages, and even read her some complex science articles, though Kara wasn't very interested in them. Krypton was a planet that admired and valued scientific progress, always developing new technologies to improve its citizen’s lives. When she was little, Kara began to learn advanced math at the age of four, visiting tons of labs with her aunt Astra - although she was more into the military area. Kara had many tutors, her classes varied from anatomy to linguistics. Her parents always valued the education she received, especially because she was the heir to their legacy.

By the end of the third day, doctor Cameron dropped by to discharge Lena and explained what she should do until their next consult, what should happen in the upcoming week. She wasn’t allowed to eat certain foods, or do heavy weight lifting or too much physical effort and she should not stay in the same position for too long. Sex was okay in a couple of days. The doctor also asked her to take a work break and to return little by little, avoiding any kind of stress, that being long tiring meetings or couple fights. Lizzie, for both mother’s relief, was fine. The placenta had moved a lot on New Year’s Eve night, almost causing a dangerous detachment. However, she was curing miraculously, literally, because there was no cure for what had happened to Lena.

But it was strangely cured and the doctor preferred to keep quiet about it. She didn’t want to raise her patient’s expectations and tell her she was out of the woods. Cameron handed her the exam results and explained the pills and medications Lena should take until the end of the month and asked Kara to keep an eye on any sign of pain or change. Lena also got the new ultrasound images, showing that Lizzie now weighed around 700 grams and had almost 35 cm and now, more than ever, she was more sensible to light, sound, and touch. The doctor also explained she should feel some numbness on her hands, wrists, and fingers, along with a little swelling. That was due to some nerve that was being pressured because of the baby’s growth.

Lena’s blood pressure was also under control, which excluded any chance of pre-eclampsia, just like her blood sugar levels ruled out any possibility of gestational diabetes.

Still worried about her girlfriend, Kara asked her to stay at her place until she felt safe being alone. It’s not like Lena didn’t enjoy the idea, but she also liked having her own space and didn’t want to cause any more embarrassment. They weren’t married and living together seemed like a far reality. For now, they were going to be together. They picked Agnes up at Alex’s house, alongside the puppies who destroyed one of her chairs and the living room carpet - Lena apologized dozens of times and promised to get her a new one but Alex refused.

And so routine ensued, a little more agitated now that Kara was going back to work in the mornings and the CEO slept in, spending the rest of her day next to her, helping her shower and watching her get better.

Lena still felt pain, though less frequently, and practically didn’t sleep at night. Her nightmares woke her in the middle of the night, covered in sweat, murmuring confused words, which worried the little Danvers. Also, there was no comfortable position for her now, her stomach weighed more and more and was bigger than ever. Many times she would get up in the middle night, make herself a cup of tea and sit on the couch, spending hours talking to Lizzie and singing her lullabies her biological mother used to sing to her. It was their private moment, one that Lena just wanted to make her daughter feel safe and show her she was not alone and not helpless. Thinking about what had happened days ago still freaked her out.

 

***

 

“May I know what you, lady, are doing here, Saturday afternoon, when you’re supposed to be resting?” Sam crossed her arms at the sight of Lena sitting in front of her L-Corp desk,

“I missed you too,” she retorted.

“Don’t change the subject” Sam exclaimed, “you still haven’t answered me.”

“Shouldn’t you be with Alex?” Lena asked, cocking a brow “by the way, you didn’t tell me how the date went.”

“I think she wants to tell you everything, first hand” she smiled “but I’m not saying anything until you answer me, don’t try stalling me” Sam sat in front of me “how are you feeling?”

“Exhausted, I can’t find one good position to sleep in” Lena sighed, lightly tracing her stomach with one finger “but there isn’t pain anymore, just a little discomfort when she kicks.”

“Which is completely normal, but you should try to rest and sleep in the afternoon” Sam pointed out “a little tip is to lie on your side and put one pillow between your legs, it helps with the back pain.”

“Noted.” Lena sighed “I’m here because my lawyer called and said he’s bringing in the adoption papers. Then I have to have a difficult conversation about that with… anyway, doesn’t matter” she hadn’t even told Sam who Lizzie’s other mother was and wasn't ready to do that “as much as I don’t like dealing with that paperwork now, I have to make a decision.”

“Whatever you decide, Lena” she reached for her hand and smiled tenderly, watching a lonely tear run down her face “I know it’s going to be better. Don’t forget that you’re already a great mother and Lizzie is always going to be grateful for what you’re doing now. Don’t blame or victimize yourself, just let your heart answer this okay?” Lena sobbed, still touching her belly.

“It… it’s so painful, Sam” she looked away. “I love her so much and just the idea of having to... God! I just wish… wish it was easier.

“I know” Sam spoke quietly “anything you need, I’ll be here for you, you can always count on me. You’ll never be alone.

“Thanks, Sam” she gave her half a smile, drying the tears on her sleeve “thanks for never giving up on me.”

“I would never.”

In no time, Lena found herself alone again, and let her girlfriend know she was going to drop by the DEO before heading home. She didn’t exactly say what she was going to do or why she was going to go to Alex’s workplace after L-Corp, she just said she needed to sign some papers and take some home, after all, she wasn’t returning to the company that week. Kara’s courage to bring the subject up was vanishing slowly, leaving her at the edge of a panic attack, and that scared her. Cameron had said over and over again that Lena shouldn’t be in distress or be put through any stressful situations. Lizzie needed to be okay and so did her mother.

The lawyer arrived on time, something that Lena couldn’t decide she was glad about. Their conversation lasted almost two hours and all details were thoroughly explained. Lena wouldn’t have any rights to contact the family and her daughter would grow up without knowing of her existence. It would be like she had never gotten pregnant. Lizzie would live with prepared parents to offer her the best of the best at everything and would do whatever she needed. As soon as she was born. a nurse would take her away, giving Lena only a few minutes to say goodbye if she wanted to. Which didn’t usually happen, as said by her lawyer. Once the adoption papers were signed, some options would be given to him and he would certainly choose the best family for the little Luthor, Lena had the right to back down at the last minute, if she wanted to, the laws were more favorable to the biological mother.

After questioning and understanding her doubts, Lena asked him to leave an envelope with all the information and documents she needed to sign. She would get back to him as soon as possible.

During her way to the DEO, Lena cried as if she had never shed a tear before. It wasn’t physical pain that hurt her, but the emotional ache of having her heart brutally rip off from her chest. Every agent there could notice how shaken up she was and none gave her the usual frightful look, in fact, there were flashes of comprehension on their faces. But she ignored that. Winn smiled tenderly as she walked in, pulling her in for an awkward hug and repeating how worried he was about her. Lena knew that because she had received a surprise visit from him at the hospital, she was glad to see him there, though they weren’t very close. Alex was down at the gym, training, and J’onn was also unavailable.

Lena went up the stairs quietly, taking a deep breath and feeling her legs get tired easily, having to stop midway a few times to stretch her back.

The cold air strolled by the empty hallway, giving an even more mysterious look. Being there, of her own free will, no cuffs on her wrists or agents behind her, felt bizarre. No one was guiding her to a room where she would testify about something that Lilian did and people just assumed she knew all about it. No, Lena was there because Alex trusted her. After all, Supergirl stood up for her more than once, making it clear that she wasn’t like her brother or anyone in her family. Even though J’onn still wasn’t completely comfortable standing next to her, he was starting to get used to it and even admitted the Luthor would be a great help at the labs once, since her intelligence outdid other human brains.

Lena took a deep breath.

"Supergirl?" She stepped into the medical area, where a stubborn hero was lying on one of the beds, yellow lights litten on top of her. When the blue of her eyes met hers, Lena’s heart skipped a beat “what happened?” she ignored her heart.

“Lena” she was met by a shiny smile “uh… I kind of… fought an alien bigger than me and… got some scratches out of it” Kara raised her arm and showed marks near her ribs. Those were not just some scratched, Lena thought to herself.

“I thought…" Lena frowned “I thought you couldn’t get hurt like that, but I did read something about guns made of metals that aren’t from this planet and aliens that are equipped with claws that can hurt other aliens.”

“It’s pretty much that.” Kara sighed. Lena could see a sad shadow overcome the kryptonian and silence reigned between them.

Supergirl sat on the bed, hissing with the pain of moving suddenly, but ignored it, focusing only on the woman in front of her, her hands hovering over her stomach. Kara always found that adorable. But she could see the tension between their bodies, there was fear, hesitation and Kara could see Lena open her mouth and shut it again, uncertain. So, not thinking too much about it, the hero took Lena by her hand and guided her to the bed, where she sat frightfully. Once their eyes met again, Supergirl noticed the trace of tears down her pale cheeks though a bit more lively than the night of the accident.

Once again, Supergirl sat on the mattress and hugged her tight, not caring about her identity. Lena threw her arms around her and hid her face on her shoulder, sobbing quietly and worrying Kara about what she was going there at the DEO. Neither of them dared to say a word the next minutes, in fact, the CEO was speechless. For the first time in her life, she was hugging the girl of steel, the city’s symbol, cousin with the man that was almost murdered by her insane brother. A Super, she thought to herself, A Super and a Luthor, how ironic it was that. What would Lex think if he could see it? What would her mother say if she knew the daughter she was pregnant with was kryptonian?

What had her life become?

Confusion and fright were civilians in her heart, and Lena just sighed, allowing her body to relax in that weird embrace. As they moved apart, Supergirl’s hand hovered over her belly and she looked at her, as if in a consent request. Lena gave her a weak smile and put her hands over hers, feeling Lizzie kick. And a thought occurred to her: a child always recognizes its parents. Julia said that the other day when they were visiting the twin and it stuck to her. Lizzie recognized her, just like she recognized Supergirl. Her mothers, she thought in silence, and her heart suddenly drowned in insurmountable sadness by that fact.

Gathered the last remains of her courage, Lena murmured:

“Ukiemiv'odh w’rrip, eh is’kah” the hero smiled at that, unable to hold back tears. She caressed the skin hidden under the shirt’s cloth and sighed.

“Ukiemiv'odh w’rrip, eh is’kah” Kara turned to her again “Doshai…”

“You don’t have to apologize” Lena whispered, happy to understand the little words she had studied “we’re going to be okay.”

“El Mayara?”

“Yes, stronger together” they smiled, aware that the pain wasn’t over but that was enough for now.

 

***

 

At the end of the day, Lena didn’t go back to the apartment and ignored every call on her phone. Her office at L-Corp was pitch dark and the sounds of cars, horns, and sirens were the only ones invading the room. Nothing had changed since she found out she was pregnant and lost. Her desk was still the same, her notebook, her papers, the sofa, and projects. However, her life, her heart, and her soul were completely different. Seven-month-ago Lena would never have believed the situation she was in now: drinking tea at eight pm instead of a good glass of scotch. Another important fact was: she wasn’t working. Lena couldn’t even remember what her routine was like before this mess.

She always valued control, organization, and precise script for the days she tried to live through, in case her mother didn’t hire someone to take her down and succeed in her plans. Something Lena knew Supergirl wouldn’t let happen. Her mind wandered back to the past when a frightened little girl tried to fit into new rules, perspectives and expectations. Lilian was rigid, severe, and never treated her with care, but her father, when he presented, tried to fill that void, though in a cold way. The same didn’t apply to her brother, Lex. The prodigy boy always had a special place in her heart, allowing her to participate in secret experiments in the lab in the backyard or telling her stories about discoveries of scientists from other times. Everything about him was easy, light, and passionate.

Lena never missed her brother like now.

Her phone rang one more time and she saw the tenth call from Kara go to voicemail. She felt bad about not picking up, for not telling her when she was going to be back, it wasn’t fair. Kara took care of everything she needed the past days, she didn’t go to work just to keep her company and show her that she wasn’t alone. Lena took a deep breath for the tenth time and texted her, aware she wasn’t able to utter a single word now. There were other notifications on the screen, messages from Alex, Sam, and even Eliza, which was a bit funny for her. Mrs. Danvers had shown up the day before Lena was discharged and spent some quality time with her, trying to calm her down about the disastrous event her life had become. Lena didn’t have enough words to thank her for it.

K: Is everything okay? I’m worried…

K: Can I come to you?

K: Please…

L: Of course.

L: The employee’s door is open, Come in from the back.

And so she waited. But her anxiety waited next to her.

The adoption papers were on her desk, staring at Lena while she took a sip of her tea and rested her back on the couch. She could almost hear her lawyer’s voice. She had read all of the documents more than once, memorizing every detail and weighing the pros and cons and, overall, granting some space to ideas. It was her decision, after all, and she had to make one. Lena had never felt so scared and never wished so much for more time to think or maybe a way to see the future. It would be easier, she thought. To see how her life turned out in two years or more if she would have cleared the Luthor name or would be rotting in a maximum-security prison with her brother, convicted by the same crimes that her family used as mantras. Where would Kara be then? Would she still be her friend? Would she remember the passionate nights, the movie afternoons, the hugs and times she genuinely believed in her?

Lena couldn’t tell, and thinking about it only doubled her anxiety, pushing her to an edge of a breakdown.

She was about to tell her girlfriend her final decision and could only hope for her support.

“Hey…” the sweet and calming voice echoed through the room. Kara didn’t waste any time and sat by her side, holding her hand “I was so worried, you didn’t answer any of my calls.”

“I’m sorry” Lena sighed nervously “I don’t… I needed some time alone.”

“Oh… I see” Kara’s face hung low and Lena was sure she was blaming herself for it “did I do something wrong?”

Touché.

“Of course not” she smiled, uselessly trying to keep calm “Kara…”

“Yeah?”

“There’s something I have to tell you and I need you to listen carefully and not interrupt me,” she asked, not sounding cold or distant. Kara frowned and her heart rushed.

“You can tell me anything” she answered, though scared. Lena nodded and took the last sip of tea, before turning to her again.

“Before any red cape hero showed up, smiling charmingly and saving damsels in distress, I had my own heroine” Lena’s voice trembled as she brought the subject up “a person that made me believe all human beings are powerful enough to save themselves. This last week, she was the only person I could think about and about how I couldn’t save her that day, just like I couldn’t move to help my own daughter” she sighed. Kara still didn’t understand what she was talking about but listened attentively “when I woke up in that hospital, the first thing I thought was: I lost her. I lost her and there’s nothing I can do about it. I was ready to deal with grief again, to blame myself and crawl back to the dark place in my soul where I hide ever since everything… changed” Lena’s eyes were focused on an empty spot on the table, never blinking or showing a glimpse of emotion “I was ready to say goodbye to another heroine in my life the same way I did to her…”

“Who, Lena?”

“My mother” she answered in a painful whisper, her lips seemed to shatter as she spoke the word with such intensity “we were visiting our family, she said, somewhere near the water and she was so green” her eyes were shining with tears, making Kara feel the urges of her own. Lena had never talked about her biological mother, she had never even acknowledged her existence “it wasn’t a very sunny day, it was cloudy, my mom said it was where magic was because it was the rain who made the green… so she went for a swim” she sobbed “and never went back…” Lena took a deep breath, avoiding any physical or emotional touch with her girlfriend “I was there. I was there with her on the beach when she got it and dived… I didn’t do anything. I didn’t run, I didn’t cry… I just stood there.”

“You were only four” Kara murmured, holding back the need to hold her hands. She knew that would scare her away.

“What kind of child doesn’t run to her mother or screams for help? I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t do anything, I just watched her die…” she sobbed, the tears staining her face “she… died and I didn’t do anything” Lena whispered “and then I was brought to the terrible family and spent my life fighting against their legacy and crimes and bad actions but I always knew, deep down, that I belonged to them” she admitted “I am a Luthor, just like Lilian, Lex, and Lionel. I deserved…”

“Lena…”

“Let me finish,” and so the blond nodded, drying her own tears “I thought I had accepted that burden and was going to have to deal with it forever, but then the fireworks happened, the pain, the despair and I saw myself on that beach again, unmoving, frozen in place and silent. I screamed for myself and was still petrified” she closed her eyes as if the scene was playing in her head “and that was when I realized I was doing nothing… again. I was there, present, but my body couldn’t react. That’s when I noticed someone looking at me and smiling… It was Lilian and she looked… proud, for the first time. Like she knew I was born to be part of something horrible I was finally receiving… the approval I wanted.”

Her crying got uglier for a brief moment but Lena put herself together, reaching for the papers on the table and giving them to her girlfriend. She had decided, she was going to tell her the truth and make the choice. Kara looked at her in confusion, not knowing what to do with the envelope in her hands. She looked for answers in Lena’s lost look and her heart sank with the suspicion of what was about to follow.

“I have something to show you,” she said, a knife could cut the air between them “I made my decision.”

“Are those?”

“yeah, the adoption papers” the sad look from Kara broke her heart. She looked completely shattered.

Lena swore she could hear her heart break into a million pieces inside her chest. She never hated the super hearing that much.

Kara took a deep breath, her hands were shaking and her senses were failing. She opened the envelope as though a death sentence, and I was what it felt like deep down. She wasn’t ready for it, she couldn’t read it and find out she was going to lose it all again. To know she would watch another part of herself leave and she couldn’t even say goodbye. But when she heard Lena tell her about her mother and the way she watched her die, Kara understood. More than that, Kara comprehended exactly what she felt, the guilty she fed ever since she was a child. Kara had watched her whole planet explode as her parents waved goodbye. She could still see their teary eyes and all she wanted to do then was break that pod and run to them.

Kara also had watched her parents die. And couldn’t do anything to save them.

“But Lena… they’re not signed” she frowned and the CEO smiled.

“Because I’m not going to sign them. Kara, I’m not going to stand still and do nothing, I’m not going to let Lilian feel proud for something that I’m… that I’m not” she was firm “Lizzie is going to stay with me. I’m her mother and no one is going to take that away from me. No one is going to take what’s mine again.”

Chapter 20: I Love The Way You Lie

Notes:

And here we are!

Don't forget to leave kudos and comments :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The eighth month came sooner than Lena had expected and soon a wave of despair began to emerge in her chest. She had taken a decision not long ago and she could still feel the ache and pain in her heart, she could still remember clearly how the relief was entrancing. But, a new type of fear began to walk next to her, like an invisible companion, a heavy burden to carry. Like a shadow. How did she come to that decision: How could she even think about being a mother if she didn’t even think of making a layette? How could she look at her daughter and remember she came close to putting her to adoption?

 

 

Lena didn’t know if she could forgive herself. At the same time, she craved having her daughter, she was afraid she wasn’t going to be good enough. To be the mother Lizzie needed and deserved.

 

 

Kara repeated to her over and over again, every night when she would wake up because of a bad dream or didn’t even go to sleep because sadness overcame her, that Lizzie would never judge her for her choice. That no matter what she did, she was always a good mom, that being for only nine months or a lifetime. Rhea was the cause of all her problems, she was responsible for that mess, for violating something so important to Lena. She had taken Lena’s right of choosing and crossed an unforgiving line. But, lucky for Lena, Rhea’s mistakes became good things, as painful as it was in the first months. And as little Luthor grew, her mothers became more mature and learned how to deal with the situation better.

 

 

But the layette situation still bothered the CEO, who used to have full control of every aspect of her life. After the New Year’s Incident, Eliza traveled to visit her daughter-in-law and help her with some tips. A few days later, she returned to Midvale with the promise to come back a week later. The woman didn’t want to miss any moment of her daughters’ and grandaughter’s life, though Lena didn’t know about it yet. In between the rush of work, Lena tried to think how she would figure out this issue. She called some decorators, joiners, designers, architects, and baby shops, but every day that passed things only turned more confusing and hard to decide.

 

During her free time, Lena would look for ideas for the nursery on Pinterest but that only made her feel even more lost. That app was like a rabbit hole, where you went in looking for something specific and ended up leaving with a designed and decorated house, a new lifestyle, and ten fitness recipes for the summer. It was impossible to move forward like that. Stress was taking over Lena’s body as her belly grew non-stop, tiring her even more and leaving her body swollen and unfit for her clothes. She had gained weight, almost six pounds and that made her cry in front of a mirror. Cameron checked and weighed her and explained it was completely normal and it would probably increase. No matter how much she gained, Lena had to focus on her well-being and the baby's. Lizzie wasn’t at risk anymore but avoiding stressful situations was still important.

 

Now the little girl was around forty centimeters tall. She had developed eyelashes, eyebrows and was sensitive to light and movements around her. The amniotic fluid weight continued to decrease, now being a total of 1 liter. Feeling out of breath was going to be normal now since the baby was begging to press her diaphragm. However, beginning at the 34th week, Lizzie would begin to turn upside down, fitting in between her mother’s hips bones, ready to start pushing, causing the first birth contractions. Something that Lena could barely wait for. In all honesty, being pregnant was something incredibly beautiful, but Lena was done with it. She just wanted her daughter to be born and allow her to fill even more whole. 

 

Lena and Kara were still trying to balance the dating life with work and social life. Sure, Lena had Sam’s help and her girlfriend had Alex, but now they both had to accept that they needed space and time. Alex and Sam seemed to have found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, it was impressive how the two of them got so well along and fit so perfectly in each other’s life. Though Ruby’s winter break ended, Alex still dropped by to visit her and spent the weekends with the mother and daughter. For the time being, neither Alex nor Sam admitted they were in a relationship, but they weren’t denying it either. The agent still felt she needed to come clean about her issues, about why her hands quivered so often, and why she couldn’t talk about certain themes. The same way Sam wanted to let the woman know her completely.

 

The Danvers sisters met up every day at the DEO, talking about their fear and expectations for the new year. Kara always talked about how hiding her identity was killing her inside but she was scared revealing it would physically harm her girlfriend. Alex tried her best to be honest with her sister, saying that it was better for the truth to come out before it was too late, but she also didn’t want Lena to put her under too much stress at the final stage of her pregnancy. It wasn’t like the CEO wasn’t already stressed though. Preparing a layette and deciding which type of birth she was going to have was already a roller-coaster of emotions.

 

Lena worked a partial half-time, although she hated it. She felt as if she was missing something she loved to do. But Lizzie was her priority now. Her apartment had become a war field, piles of diaper packages occupying every corner of it and her old office was turning to a deposit of baby clothes, bottles, and little toys. Lena avoided going in there because just the thought of a little girl sleeping in that room was enough to make her cry. Kara obviously noticed her girlfriend’s panic and wanted to do something to help her, but it was almost an impossible job since Lena was starting to get mad about everything. Especially when she felt she was unable to buy and decorate her own daughter’s nursery.

 

And so, the eighth month, though full of relief now that Lizzie was okay and wasn’t going to be put for adoption, was always filled with work and insecurities.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“How is Ruby feeling about tomorrow’s presentation?” Alex casually asked, popping two beers open and heading to the couch.

 

“She made me rehearse it with her at least three times a day this week” Sam answered with a laugh and moved to give Alex some space “I can’t even begin to thank you for the help…”

 

 

“Hey, you don’t need to thank me” she smiled “Ruby did most of the work, she just needed a little push.”

 

 

“I know she had trouble making friends” Sam sighed, upset, lingering with the bottle over her lips before taking a long gulp “I just want Ruby to be accepted for who she is and not have to change to fit in. But I don’t know what to do and that’s killing me…”

 

 

“It’s normal to feel like an outsider at that age, but soon she’ll find her crowd, with people that will love her without demanding her to change” Alex hugged the woman on her side “don’t feel guilty, you’re the best mom Ruby could have.”

 

 

“You think so?” Sam looked at her fondly.

 

 

“I’m sure of it” Alex was firm “she is going to be just as strong as you.”

 

 

“At the moment, I think all she wants is to be as badass as you” Sam retorted, making the agent laugh “it’s for Ruby to have someone more… intense when it comes to standing up for themselves. You’re a nice influence for her and I like the fact you’re around for us.”

 

 

Each word uttered sank deep into her heart and Alex didn’t know what to answer or feel. Alex never thought she was going to meet someone who would teach her a new concept to relationships because she never thought she would ever come to that. Ever since she accepted her sexuality, being with Maggie felt like the high point of her life. Maggie was an amazing woman with a sad and difficult past that she learned to get over. However, fate did its job and ended another cycle, and Alex thought she would never find another way to fill the void in her heart.

 

 

Sam looked at her intensely, eyes filled with tenderness, comprehension, and fondness. And so Alex understood how lucky she was to have her by her side.

 

 

“So…” Sam smirked “your sister is Supergirl.

 

 

“Yeah” Alex giggled “is… that a problem?”

 

 

“Of course not, I was just surprised by the quick New Year’s revelations” she commented, “truly, Kara is going to be an extremely super protective mom.”

 

 

“I have no doubts about that, when Lena told her she wasn’t going to give Lizzie up for adoption, she showed up at my apartment at five a.m, jumping up and down and cried non-stop for thirty minutes” they laughed “Kara has never been so happy like me.”

 

 

“Lena too” Sam smiled, placing the bottle on the desk “I thought she wasn’t going to go back on her decision, you know… it’s not easy to go through what she did and still have hope."

 

 

“Yeah, I believe not, but now we have to deal with a stressed, desperate pregnant lady” Alex joked, rolling her eyes “thank God, I’m not the other mom or her girlfriend."

 

 

“I’m very thankful you’re not the girlfriend” Sam teased, getting a malicious smile from the woman “it would be hard to accept you with her.”

 

 

“Jealous much?” Alex retorted, pulling Sam closer and placing her on her lap “you and Kara would make a great team break me and Lena up.”

 

 

“Well, I’m glad I don’t have to go to war for it” Sam tightened her hand around the red hair and closed the gap for an urgent kiss. Alex let her hands travel around her back, slowly going up under the shirt and tracing her spine.

 

 

Every single touch of her fingers caused shivers on her body, sending waves of heat to her center. That afternoon, they just want to enjoy their time together, because the rush of the week always dragged apart, to countless hours of work. They had few opportunities to go on dates but the next step wasn’t taken yet.

 

 

“Sam…” the redhead whispered her name, trying to maintain focus “I know… I know this may be a little early…”

 

 

“I don’t care” she cut it, taking her lips to her exposed neck, sucking on her pulse point. Alex wasn't going to make it like that.

 

 

“No… this is important” Alex murmured, almost lost “I want you to know that I like you… a lot.”

 

 

“Alex” Sam stopped what she was doing once she noticed Alex’s body tense under hears. Nervousness was never a good thing. Sam smiled tenderly and held her face in her hands, trying to show she cared too “I really, really like you.”

 

 

The exhaled.

 

 

“But I want you out of those clothes now” she commanded hoarsely and that was Alex’s perdition.

 

 

The room’s door hit the wall hard as they touched, tasted, and got lost in each other’s bodies. The clothes were left aside along the way up until the bed, where Alex laid on top of the woman and suppressed a moan as her center touched her thighs. The heat skyrocketed, leaving both women needy for relief. Alex held Sam’s hand down, over her head, and took over the situation, abusing her exposed neck.

 

 

“Where’s Ruby?” she panted between kisses.

 

 

“At a friend’s house” Sam almost moaned “Alex…”

 

 

The redhead continued to explore her body, going down to the shoulder and taking angelical care to show how important that moment was for her. Sam watched as she took one of her nipples on her mouth, sucking on it and pulling it between her teeth, driving Sam insane. She grabbed the red hair tight and released a guttural sound, closing her eyes to feel the growing sensation on her center better. While her nipples received that special attention, the other was taken by the agent's firmed hands, never taking her eyes off Sam.

 

 

“You’re delicious, Sam” Alex whispered, making her even more flustered “you are so beautiful.”

 

 

“Not as much as you” she whispered back

 

 

Alex traced her waist, staying her fingers with every drop of sweat, and slowly spread her legs, watching her get completely vulnerable. Her chest went up and down quickly as if she was carrying the weight of the world at that moment. The brown eyes hypnotized Alex, with the same sense of mystery and the red tone underneath it. Alex licked her way down to her center and dodged around it, kissing the inside of her thigh with the same care and caress. Her hot breathing caught Sam’s sex by surprise, making the woman squirm with anticipation.

 

 

“Alex, don’t tease me like that, please,” she asked nicely, sighing between heavy breaths.

 

 

Her hip went up as if begging for contact and Alex smiled at the sight.

 

 

She opened her folds, finding the wetness already dripping and her mouth watered. She licked it whole, feeling Sam’s taste take over her mouth. They moaned together. Her tongue discovered her pussy, slowly sucking on her clit and circling her entrance. With no time, Sam grabbed her hair again and the only noise was the sounds coming from her mouth. The feeling was indescribable and Alex was sure she was never going to forget that day.

 

 

“Oh, fuck… fuck, fuck” Sam panted, arching her back and siking the back of her head into the pillow.

 

 

Alex stopped her movements, listening the woman complain and squirm, to then sink in two fingers into her, going in slowly and letting the inner walls get used to the invasion. Sam was tight, hot, and incredibly savory. She went back to eating her out, this time faster and firmer, moving her fingers inside and out, masturbating her with need. The shy moans became screams of please as Sam moved on her mouth, losing herself in the feelings of it.

 

 

“Alex, fuck!” one of her legs was over the agent’s shoulder and she felt the climax coming “Alex, more, more…”

 

 

A third finger was added to the mix and Sam lost it. Her body shivered, all her cells running quickly inside her blood. Nothing coherent came out of her lips, her brain shut down. Alex felt her own wetness stream down her thighs, indicating she was close too. Sam was saying her name aloud, her body convulsing on the mattress and Alex knew she was never going to be able to leave that relationship. It was there, the moment of pure pleasure and euphoria that she found out it was worth it to love again.

 

 

And she was never so desperate to love one more time.

 

 

“Fuck, Alex” Sam sighed, still feeling her body tremble and sweat go down her neck. She closed her eyes, letting the emotions take over her completely.

 

As she turned to her side, Sam found Alex’s eyes lost on her, showing the warmth in her heart through them. Sam smiled, in love, and kissed her again, this time it was calm, but still intense, filled with a feeling not yet to be named. It was with that encounter of lips that Sam knew she was falling for the charms of that strong, decided, and terribly extraordinary woman. Although Sam noticed some fears and hesitations from Alex, she couldn’t judge her. She carried more in her soul than she should, a weight that maybe no one would ever be able to understand. However, Sam wanted to help her put them aside and fight whatever she had to fight next to her.

 

 

That was when she heard a quiet sob and her heart skipped a beat.

 

 

“Hey… what happened?” Sam asked worried, thinking she might have crossed a line. Or that Alex was not regretting what they did.

 

 

“Nothing… I… I’m sorry” Alex hid her shaking her. Her anxiety was eating her alive and the need to run and grab that bottle of beer left the table was immeasurable “I-I’m…”

 

 

“Alex, honey, what is it?” Sam took her hand and waited for her to calm down “you don’t need to tell me if you’re not comfortable with it. Was it anything that I said? Or that I… did?”

 

 

“God, no, Sam!” Alex kissed her desperately and pulled her closer ‘you’re perfect, simply amazing, but I… I’m really scared I’m going to ruin this” she admitted sadly “my last relationship broke me in a way… in a way that I almost…”

 

 

Alex suddenly lost her courage, she didn’t know how to put her pain out there. Sam raised her head to look at her and slowly traced her face with her thumb. They sighed together and Alex was able to continue. She told Sam about the way she figured out her sexuality, the way she had fallen in love with the cutest cop in the world, and how they both lost themselves to the soul-crushing feeling, leading to a proposal and many plans for an uncertain future. Alex teared up as she talked about her wish to be a mother and the way Sawyer denied her over and over, saying it wasn’t something she wanted and that Alex was enough for her.

 

 

Sam could see it clearly now, how that story had shattered the agent’s heart to a million pieces.

 

 

The venting ended when Alex confessed her alcohol problem, explaining the reason for her edging anxiety, for her hands always shaking and her dried mouth. Now her eyes didn’t get red anymore because she was avoiding any contact with drinks that could initiate the cycle again, but the rest of the symptoms were still there, clear as the day. And all Sam wanted to do was hide that woman falling apart in front of her, protecting her from the world and assuring her everything was going to be okay. Alex waited for Sam to reject her, for the scolding, for the end of that nameless relationship. She waited for anything bad to happen.

 

 

But it never did. Sam’s eyes never even hesitated as she told the story. She still looked at her the same.

 

 

Their lips met in a soft kiss as if it was the first time, Their bodies were now glued to each other. The words never came but fear wasn’t present anymore.

 

 

“Let me take care of you, Alex” Sam requested whispering and she nodded “make love to me again.”

 

 

Soon the comfortable silence was replaced with whimpers, kisses, touches, and smiled. Happiness fits both of them well.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Kara Danvers created a group

 

 

Kara Danvers added Winn.

 

 

Kara Danvers added James.

 

 

Kara Danvers added Alex.

 

 

Kara Danvers added Sam.

 

 

Kara Danvers added Eliza

 

 

Kara Danvers changed the group name to Operation Despicable Me.

 

 

J: I knew you wouldn’t be able to contain yourself.

 

 

K: Shut up, James.

 

 

W: I knew it too!

 

 

A: And no one is surprised.

 

 

K: Are you guys going to help me or judge me?

 

 

A: Judge.

 

 

K: MOM!

 

 

S: Alex, leave your sister alone

 

 

A: Whose side are you on?

 

 

W: yours, obviously…

 

 

E: Focus, people.

 

 

E: We need to join forces for Lena.

 

 

J: And what’s the plan?

 

 

J: Kara has been driving Snapper crazy with her anxiety.

 

 

S: Lena has been driving me crazy too.

 

 

W: I’m up for anything!

 

 

W: but it depends…

 

 

A: What do we already have?

 

 

K: Nothing?

 

 

E: I made a list of everything we need to buy and get.

 

 

J: Who is Supergirl near Eliza Danvers?

 

 

K: Hey!

 

 

J: Kara didn’t get organization from her…

 

 

W: Neither did Alex.

 

 

S: True.

 

 

A: Fuck off, Winn.

 

 

A: SAM!

 

 

E: Alex, language!

 

 

K: I’m hungry…

 

 

J: I’m shocked…

 

 

W: FOCUS!!!

 

 

Eliza Danvers sent a document

 

 

E: The tasks are divided by names and in order of importance.

 

 

E: each one of you will be responsible for one part.

 

 

A: Why did I end up with manual labor?

 

 

W: Because you’re not delicate.

 

 

K: You’re really not.

 

 

J: Look who’s speaking…

 

 

S: hey, she is delicate.

 

 

S: but only with people who deserve it.

 

 

A: IN YOUR FACE!

 

 

E: And there’s something else!

 

 

E: Kara?

 

 

K: WE HAVE UNIFORMS!

 

 

K: AND THEY’RE BEAUTIFUL!

 

 

Kara Danvers sent a picture

 

 

A: I’m not wearing that.

 

 

J: Me neither.

 

 

S: Oh, god…

 

 

W: I’M IN!

 

 

K: I love you, Winn!!

 

 

E: We’ll meet on Saturday after lunch.

 

 

 

***

 

 

The schoolyard that sunny morning was full and noisy. Many groups were spread around the yard, each organizing their projects, setting the decoration up, and asking the teachers for help. The day was taken solely for middle school science fair presentations, and so the place was a crowded mess. The groups were divided between the study team and the team responsible to check every piece of equipment to make the projects work, there was every kind of booths, from small and simple to big and fussy. Every kid puts in a lot of work and time to impress their parents and colleagues with their miraculous ideas.

 

 

Ruby was a pile of nerves, observing the other excited students talk to their friends, laughing and hugging their proud parents. Sam knew that look, the look that showed how much her little girl wanted to have friends her age to create group studies and go out and watch movies. And her motherly heart ached for not being able to do anything about it. But, lucky for her, Alex was there, standing next to her daughter to cheer her up, help and get some laughs out of her. Every time she saw the redhead poke the girl’s belly, hug her or make a ridiculous comment, she was sure everything was going to be okay. Sam wasn’t alone anymore, and neither was Ruby.

 

 

“Did you check the electrodes?” Alex asked over the crowd’s growing noise. Ruby nodded “hey, what is it?”

 

 

“I don’t think I should have done this project” the kid sighed “who’s going to watch it?” she looked around at the kids surrounded by their big families.

 

 

“I’m going to watch it” Ruby rolled her eyes at the cliche answer “okay, your mom is going to watch it, Lena, Kara, and the other parents are also going to come here.”

 

 

“What if I mess it up?” She asked, upset.

 

 

“Ruby, listen to me” Alex held the girl’s face and saw Sam walk to them from the corner of her eye “you are a very smart girl because your mom is one of the most amazing women I have ever met and you’re just like her. Don’t worry about messing up, everyone can make mistakes. The greatest scientists in the world have made stupid mistakes until they got things right, why should you get things right on the first try?”

 

 

“Are my girls nervous?” Sam smiled at the duo and pulled her daughter into her arms “everything is going to be fine, okay?” the girl nodded “no matter what you think, I’m really proud of you.”

 

 

“Thanks, mom.”

 

 

“Yeah, mom” Alex teased, receiving a glare for an answer “I also need moral support here.”

 

 

Sam pulled her close and kissed her quickly, laughing at the daughter’s disgusted face.

 

 

“Can you not do that next to me?” she complained and they laughed.

 

 

“I think she wants a kiss,” Alex murmured.

 

 

“She definitely wants a kiss” Sam agreed and when Ruby wasn’t expecting, they held her in a hug and kissed her cheeks.

 

 

“Ugh, get out of here!” she groaned.

 

 

“Traumatizing the girl so soon?” a familiar voice interrupted the moment.

 

 

“Aunt Lena!” Ruby ran to her, being involved in a tight, receptive hug.

 

 

“Did you think I wouldn’t come?” Lena smiled tenderly “We scientists support each other” she winked.

 

 

“And I’m here to spread the news the best junior scientist of National City is making her debut” Kara commented and was also attacked by the girl in a bear hug.

 

 

“Are you ready to witness the best presentation about the Daniell cell?” Alex poked Ruby and pointed to the table where all the equipment was set.

 

 

Sam, Kara, and Lena looked at each other and walked to the booth, waiting for Ruby to start her line. The girl took a few deep breaths and tried to ignore the sounds of other people talking loudly, trying to focus better. It was hard to be the new girl, in a different city and try to face a whole troubled year at a new school. She didn’t know anyone and, even if she knew someone, Ruby was never good at making friends. Most students found her weird, making too many questions about her family, her mom, and her life in Metropolis, but the truth was Ruby barely knew things about those subjects. She still remembers well the talk her mom gave her after she hit a boy on the shoulder on her first week. In her defense, he was wrong and she was angry. Angry because she just wanted to fit in and be left alone.

 

 

Soon the noise became white and her nerves found some comfort, and her explanation about one of the most intelligent discoveries in the world began. She talked about the electrodes, oxidation, and reduction, the cell’s features, the past discoveries and demonstrated there the reaction between zinc and copper on water. They were linked by wires, leading to a small lamp. As the lamp turned on, Ruby explained about the electric current and why it happened. Sam looked as if she was about to combust with pride. Alex barely needed to help the little scientist and was smiling the whole time, amazed that she was finally happy. Finally.

 

 

Kara and Lena applauded the girl and the CEO took her time to ask simple but smart questions. She knew how much effort Ruby had put into this and wanted to show her interest in the project.

 

 

The rest of the day was calm. The women visited the other booths and enjoyed the free time to talk and savor the moment. Since the revelation of Lizzie’s non-adoption, Lena tried her best to keep calm. She had decreased her work hours - not that she had much choice since Sma wouldn’t leave her alone if she stayed there late - she changed her diet of five times that month, with Alex’s and Supergirl’s help, after all that child needed some extra energy, and she also changed certain habits. She began to go to bed early, especially because she felt tired all the time, she stopped skipping meals, drinking alcohol, and using heels. A whole life changed because of a little girl.

 

 

Almost twenty-six years, changed in nine months. And no change was ever this worth it.

 

 

Suddenly, Alex felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and the red alert on the screen only indicated one thing: trouble. The DEO called and when she turned around, Kara had already excused herself to go to the bathroom. Lena and Ruby still chatted calmly, but another detail made her heart skip a beat: Sam wasn’t there. The next following events happened too quickly and, still, everything seemed as if it was in slow motion. A woman screaming. Blood. Panic. Parents getting their children, teachers helping the kids find their families, and all the booths abandoned in a matter of seconds. Chaos ensued and neither Kara nor Sam were there.

 

 

Instinctively, Lena placed a hand on her belly while the other held Ruby’s hand, like a mother ready for combat.

 

 

“Where’s my mom?” Ruby screamed among the crowd, trying to drag their bodies out at the same time.

 

 

“Kara is in the bathroom, what are we going to do?” Lena looked at the redhead with clear concern.

 

 

“J’onn, I need people here asap,” Alex said, putting on the listening wire, intertwining her fingers with Lena and pulling her to the other side “I don’t care if there are bigger problems, I need them now.”

 

 

Turn around and go west, two agents will be waiting for you on a black SUV.’

 

 

“Thank you,” Alex sighed “come with me, don’t let go of my hand, and Ruby, don’t let go of Lena’s hands. We can’t drift apart, okay?” the girl nodded, scared.

 

 

Outside the yard, things looked even worse, each family ran fast to their cars, leaving the area empty, making it look even more destroyed. Apparently, one guy had taken off the children and a desperate mother screamed for help. In a few seconds, the trio saw a red cape image on the sky, and no one needed a name to know who it was. Alex ignored her concerns as she delivered Lena and Ruby to agent Ramirez, who smiled politely and put them on the vehicle. Alex ran back to the epicenter of the chaos, listening to her sister ask for help to deal with the civilians and that was what Alex was going to do before getting the necessary weapons.

 

 

At the moment, no one knew the motivations behind the girl’s kidnapping, Winn quickly tried to recognize the man who was shooting anyone that would come closer, with a gun much more developed than any humane fire weapon. A meta-human.

 

 

‘He is the father of the child.’

 

 

“And can’t he figure this out in court?” Alex answered Winn back while moving the civilians away from danger.

 

 

‘Apparently, he lost custody because he didn’t pay the pension and there’s something else.’

 

 

“Shoot.”

 

 

He was missing since last November. The police were contacted by the justice department to arrest him because of the lack of payment, but his house was a mess and no one had heard about him. His name is Hugo and he used to work in a car company, none of his coworkers know what happened to him.

 

 

“And now he is a meta-human?” Supergirl said on the other side “where are these guns coming from? And why is his chest glowing?”

 

 

‘We’ll only know when you bring him here, alive, if possible.’

 

 

“Right” the sisters answered.

 

 

Supergirl tried to take him down tirelessly, but it had no effect. The girl, Zara was her name according to Winn, was still stuck in his arms, crying loudly and yelling for her mom, who was trying to talk her ex-husband down. Nothing was working and Kara couldn’t do her best because she would risk hurting the little girl. Still lost in a million plans to get closer to the man without messing things up, a black shadow distracted Kara and out of nowhere, Zara was taken from the metahuman arms and dropped off on top of a concrete billboard. The agents now aimed at the unfamiliar figure but nothing seemed to take them out. It was a black cape, Alex informed them through screams, a black uniform. The face was masked.

 

 

But the symbol on the chest was recognized by Supergirl, causing her heart to skip a beat. That person was kryptonian.

 

 

The man roared loudly, his breath smoking with anger and hate in his eyes. His chest glowed in a shade of yellow again and a bolt of lightning escaped from his torn shirt. Two agents were struck down and the other ran for shelter. Alex tried to get closer but he seemed to be capable of killing her only with fury. Hugo focused on the redhead and smirked. Kara swallowed dry. Winn screamed in her ear and J’onn tried to warn Alex but another surprise happened and the meta-human was thrown to the side like a rag doll, being dragged to the marked asphalt, showing the strength of the puncher. It was her, the woman in the black cape.

 

 

Hugo’s throat was positioned against the firm hands of the hero, or villain and his breath began to fail, and so were his senses. His chest glowed again but the woman’s body seemed to be invincible or immune to his powers. Her intense red eyes looked at him with more hate than she could handle and suddenly all bones of his hands were broken, making him scream in agony. A deafening yell.

 

 

“Let him go!” Supergirl landed behind them, her eyes shining with confusion and worry “we don’t need this, you don’t have to kill him” she said carefully

 

 

“Get out of here!” the dry, hoarse voice retorted with no hesitation “he deserves to die.”

 

 

“No, he deserved to pay for what he did” Kara insisted “his daughter is watching, and so is her mother, please, let me take him.”

 

 

“Too late” she smiled and Kara could see the red flash in her eyes shine brighter.

 

 

Her fist tightened around the neck until it could unbearable, the sound of bones breaking was audible for the superhero. Hugo smiled one last time and his slits glowed, hitting a lamppost that fell on top of Alex. The agent tried to run but she knew what was coming. She accepted her fate and closed her eyes to wait for the impact, but it never came. In a matter of seconds, Supergirl held Hugo in her arms, left behind, dead, and screamed as she witnessed her sister almost be hit by the huge metal cylinder. Pieces of it flew everywhere making Zara and her mother scream. The woman hit her daughter’s face in her body, they were both crying.

 

 

Alex opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was two ruby eyes staring at her with concern. There was a certain familiarity to them, something that Alex swore to know, they weren’t strange to her. The woman in the black cape was hovering over her body, almost completely lied over her and the lamppost never hit her, but broke apart. Alex was safe. That woman had saved her life.

 

 

They looked at each other again and the agents pointed their weapons. ready to attack. The DEO alarm had been activated when she showed up, indicating an unknown alien presence. But Alex could feel it in her chest that the woman just wasn’t any person. It couldn’t be.

 

 

“Sam?” Alex whispered, knowing only her sister would be able to hear.

 

 

“My name is Reign” the woman answered dryly and flew away, disappearing in the blue sky. Supergirl tried to go after her but she was faster than Kara had expected.

 

 

The symbol wouldn’t leave Kara’s mind and she spent the rest of the day at the DEO, next to Winn, working hard to figure out where Hugo had come from, why he had gone missing, and who was that mysterious hero.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

The last week of February, the eighth month was coming to an end and Lena had never felt so anxious. Lizzie was moving like never before, Lena’s feet were swollen every day, all her back hurt and none of her clothes fit anymore, leaving her with only dresses Kara had bought her a few days ago and a couple of leggings. Looking in the mirror was a broken habit now, Lena didn’t want to know how she looked or how big her belly was, she knew if she did, she would cry and fall apart. There was no longer a comfortable position to sleep in and she couldn’t lie down for too long, or stand up for too long, or stay sitting for too long. It was hell and the Luthor’s only wish was for her daughter to be born soon. The worst parts were her desires and appetite. Lena lost count of how many calories she was consuming per day, Alex did her best to assure Lena wouldn’t exaggerate, after all, she was still human, but with the CEO’s unstable mood, everything was stressful.

 

 

But on that Sunday morning, Kara had planned an unforgettable surprise for her. The little Danvers was barely able to sleep because of excitement. The black cape hero and her origins matter weren’t able to bring Kara down, although she was confused about what to feel. If that woman was kryptonian, why didn’t she say anything earlier? Why didn’t she look for Supergirl or Superman? Should Kara feel threatened or happy? And why had she saved her sister’s life and Kara had heard the name uttered by Alex. Sam. However, that option was ruled out once there was no scientific evidence to base that theory. Alex was still absent-minded but Kara decided to leave that aside because that Sunday was special.

 

When Lena turned around in bed, she found the right side empty and groaned low. Her girlfriend's warmth was something she had gotten used to on weekends and free days. They barely saw each other during the week, but Saturdays and Sundays became sacred. Lena heard the sound of puppies barking and plates being set on the table. The CEO smiled in relief and joy, it felt nice to wake up and know she wasn’t alone, that she didn’t have to face another day of crushing silence in her apartment. The warm feeling in her chest was there forever now, making her heart joyful and calmer.

 

“Good morning, baby girl” Lena caressed her belly, feeling a kick underneath her skin “it’s getting tight in there, huh?” she giggled “we still have a month ahead of her, so do me a favor and do your job and I’ll do mine” she joked, raising her shirt up until the breasts and looking at the elevation. Lena could still remember the first days, of how the pregnancy was practically invisible and how scared she was “I love you, Lizzie” she whispered, “soon we’ll see each other.”

 

“Good morning, girls” Kara walked into the dim room straight to the closed curtains, opening them just a little bit “did you sleep well?”

 

“Better than yesterday, but my feet are hurting again” Lena sighed, getting a tender kiss in return “wow, what’s with this loving treatment?” she cocked a brow, watching Kara serve her breakfast on the bed.

 

“It’s one of today’s surprises” she smiled, kissing her girlfriend again “and I brought everything you two like” she pointed out and Lena’s stomach roared.

 

 

“Lizzie isn’t polite when it comes to food” she laughed.

 

“I understand you, Seedy” Kara bent down and kissed the exposed stomach “and I love you for that.”

 

“Why so many surprises? You know I hate surprises” Lena complained and sighed, Agnes jumped onto the bed “hey, good morning…” she petted the soft ears, receiving cold licks on her hands “where are the others?”

 

“In the living room, Krypto destroyed another chair stand” Kara confessed and they laughed. Krypto and Leah were now three months old and three times more work, more destroyed furniture, shoes and three times more expensive. Not that money was an issue, but Lena was afraid she wasn’t going to be able to manage it all. During the last month, it was Kara who checked on everything two times a day to make sure it was all fine, to clean their mess a little, and feed them “what is it?”

 

Lena took a deep breath and her green eyes turned opaque.

 

“I don’t know if I can take care of them, they need attention and I’ve only been more tired and Lizzies is going to be born in a month” she murmured, upset “I couldn’t even try to buy the furniture for her nursery, nothing is ready yet.”

 

“Hey, look at me” Kara held her softly “do you trust me?” she nodded “then relax, only worry about finishing your breakfast, feeding Seedy well, and let me take care of the rest. Today is a day of surprises and you deserve all of them” Kara crawled to the other side of the bed “while you eat, I’m going to massage your feet.”

 

“What are the surprises?” Lena asked curiously. She might hate surprises but Kara never let her down.”

 

“If I tell you, it’s not a surprise” she smiled childishly and her girlfriend pouted in return, something that was becoming a habit, especially when she woke Kara at two a.m, wanting to eat bizarre foods.

 

“Now you know how I feel,” Lena mumbled.

 

“Okay, I’m going to tell you one of them, but only because you need to know,” Kara said and Lena shot a brow up, suspecting “I… I know that you blame yourself because you the beginning of the pregnancy, which was very scary and a mess and so you didn’t take any pictures and well… I-I’m… I hope I’m not crossing… er, any… uh, boundaries, so to speak, and if you don’t like it, I…”

 

“Kara, breathe” Lena called her attention and the blond obeyed, lying on her lap and feeling her girlfriend caress her hair. It was the only way she could relax enough not to ramble while speaking “better?”

 

“Uhum…” she sighed “I hired a photographer, she does pregnancy photoshoots, newborns, that kind of thing.”

 

“Right,” Lena said, uncertain.

 

“Are you mad at me?” Kara turned to her, blue met the green.

 

“Of course not, darling” she smiled tenderly “I just… I just feel pretty enough right now to take photos.”

 

And so, the kryptonian got up and pulled the other woman into her arms. That was a hard subject.

 

“You are the most beautiful woman in the world, Lena,” Kara said, sincere “I know my opinion is a little suspicious, or better, 100% suspicious, according to my sister” she rolled her eyes, Alex was always right “your body may not be in the standard for magazines, but I every time I get the front pages from CatCo’s competition, a lot of times there’s a photo os you, take being you walking on the street or at some L-Corp event. James helped me keep them all and believe me, there is not one negative word about your looks, much on the contrary” Kara kissed her forehead “the first opinion that matters is yours and yours only, then the ones from people who love and care about you. I love the way you always have your hand on your belly, or the way or pajamas can’t hide it anymore. You and Lizzie are beautiful together and I’m very proud of the mother you are, even if you don’t believe you’re to make it.”

 

“Thank you, you know most of this is because of you, right?” Kara held back tears from the confession. Keeping Lizzie and the consequences of that choice from weeks ago still left her speechless “thank you.”

 

“Anything for my two favorite people in the world” Agnes barked “okay, three favorites” they laughed.

 

“So… should I get ready?” Lena brought the subject back “I don’t even have clothes that fit me!”

 

“Okay, mama Luthor, I took care of that too” Kara kissed her with a smile “finish your breakfast, I’ll explain everything to you later.”

 

At nine o’clock sharp, the photographer knocked on their apartment. The doorman had let them know on the interphone and the few minutes until she got up already rose Lena’s nerves to a pile. The woman was of medium height, brown hair and eyes, she had an amicable smile and introduced herself as Hanna. She looked young and her clothes certainly showed style, Lena wondered where Kara knew her from. Introductions were done, the woman talked about her work, showing her a portfolio and her favorite photoshoots, she explained she could be hired for over a year, because most couples chose the entire deal, which included the pregnancy shoot, photos of the labor, newborn shoot, a monthly follow up or just the sixth month, smash the cake and the one year birthday. The CEO’s mouth fell open, speechless.

 

God, there were so many things! How could Lena even think about Lizzie completing one year when she couldn’t even picture her daughter as a newborn?

 

Listening to her girlfriend’s fast heartbeat, Kara intertwined their fingers and stroked her back with her thumb. It was the calm that Lena needed.

 

“What do you say?” Kara asked, “you don’t have to pick the whole deal now, you can take it with time.”

 

“Is it really common for people to close the whole deal?” she asked again and Hanna nodded “Okay, I’ve made my mind.”

 

She looked at Kara and smiled brightly.

 

“I’m going to go with the whole package and I’m willing to pay whatever price” she was firm “and I want to talk about the frames you put together, I need at least four of them.”

 

“As you wish, miss Luthor” the lady handed her the papers.

 

“Lena, call me Lena.”

 

Prepping took almost half an hour, while Hanna got the scenario ready, the make-up and hairdressing team arrived. Lena was taken to her room and got all the help she needed. Her hair was done, now falling into waves, like dominoes over her back and shoulders, her eyes were emphasized with the clean and simple make-up, intensifying every minor detail in her face. The clothes were on her bed, a fit-laced dress that would expose most of her pale skin.

 

As soon as she got ready, Kara took her to the bathroom, where Hanna was already waiting for her. The photoshoot would be done on the bathtub, filled with milk-looking water and floating flowers. The rest of the day went by with flashes, postures, and laughs, Kara did her best to make the atmosphere fun, comfortable, and calm. Kara knew the woman she loved and wanted every moment to be truly special. She owned it to Lena. The CEO saw the photos once the shoot and picked the ones she liked the most and the ones she wanted to turn to frames. Lena wanted Lizzie to have recollections of her mother’s pregnancy and for her to know how much she already loved her.

 

Hanna left the apartment by lunchtime and the couple ordered food, spending some hours on the couch, cuddling, and watching dumb movies.

 

Some hours later, Kara said she was going to go downstairs, pick up the last part of her surprise, which was actually a set of surprises. Lena took a deep breath and waited, enjoying the company of Agnes and the puppies. Almost twenty minutes passed until the doorbell rang and Lena frowned. Didn’t Kaar have a key? She thought to herself. Agnes barked, excited, the puppies already by the door, smelling underneath it and so Lena took a deep breath, expecting the worst, and opened the door, to find a whole team dressed in jeans overalls and yellow t-shirts. They were all there. Alex, Sam, Ruby, James, Winn, Eliza and Kara. All wearing the same clothes.

 

“I heard you were in need of a complete layette and a brand new nursery?” Kara asked, smiling largely, her blue eyes were shining.

 

“I heard a little Seedy is about to be born and we’re here to deliver her a surprise” Eliza continues, also smiling big.

 

“We’re Lizzie’s squad” Winn completed “and we came to make the best of the best.”

 

And so Lena felt her eyes tear up. She let her friends in told them to make themselves at home, but they weren’t there to pay her visit but to work, put in Alex’s words. One by one, they hugged Lena and told her kind words. Ruby ran to see the dogs, and Sam rolled her eyes, saying she would be screwed if her daughter wanted to take one home. Winn brought more baby clothes with cute sayings, Eliza held Lena tight again and took a huge list out of her pocket, making everyone follow her orders. Alex complained again once she heard she was the one who had to put the furniture together and Kara and Sam were responsible for the decoration.

 

“James” Lena looked at the guy in front of her, the only one who hadn't hugged her “I’m surprised you came.”

 

“You and Lizzie are important to Kara, so you’re important to me” he confessed, “though I want you to know that I’m here to help and I hope you’re well.”

 

“It’s enough for me” Lena nodded and they shook hands. Hugging wasn’t really comfortable for neither of them.

 

In a matter of four hours, Lena’s old office was undone and taken to another room. The apartment had many empty rooms, but the one next to Lena’s bedroom now had to belong to her daughter, not work. Kara painted all the walls, while Sam hung frames, selves, toys, and gluing cute adhesives Alex and Eliza put the cradle together, the soft net around it, some toys and technical details were also their responsibility. Winn and James were the team's manual labor because it would be weird for Kara to lift and carry everything on her own.

 

Due to Eliza’s order, Lena was not allowed to help, because of the avoidance of physical exercise, but she was responsible for checking the list, making opinions and complaints, bossing them around, and making them laugh at the demands.

 

“You’re my favorite mean girl” Kara whispered as she walked by her in the hallway.

 

“You’re my favorite minion” Lena whispered back.

 

 

***

 

 

 

Ninth month. Nothing, absolutely nothing changed. And Lena was at the brink of a nervous breakdown, again.

 

“We’re finally at the thirtieth nine weeks, shall we see how she looks?” Cameron said as her favorite couple walked into her office that afternoon.

 

“Shouldn’t she be about to come out? I don’t even feel contractions” Lena complained, lying on the stretcher and sighing.

 

“Lizzie is already in the right position, but since you chose natural labor, you’ll just have to wait for her to start pushing” the doctor explained “it’s normal to take a while, but if it doesn’t start until next week, I’m going to have to schedule a c-section. It’s not good for her to stay in there for too long.”

 

“Do you think there’s something wrong?” Kara asked, concerned, knowing her girlfriend was also asking the same question in her head.

 

“Don’t worry, Lizzie is fine,” Cameron smiled “she weighs about four and a half pounds and is almost fifty centimeters, her lungs are fully formed now and the bones are completely tied together and that will help her passage through the vagina. As the days go by, you will feel more discomfort and the contractions will start strong, only increasing with time, so I have to be thoroughly updated, and I’m counting on you for it” she explained, “this is our second consult in a week and we’ll keep that up.”

 

“I can’t take it anymore, I can barely breathe without tiring myself” Lena complained “is there anything I can do to speed up the process?”

 

“I’m going to give you a list of simple exercises that help your pelvic muscles and some foods that encourage birth” she answered “but don’t worry, there’s no problem waiting until next week. The doctors usually count the weeks from the last period just to make a pattern and accompany the pregnancy better, but the usual is for the birth to happen between 39 and 41 weeks. 41 weeks babies are called mature, and 42 are postmature. However, Lizzie changed positions on the thirtieth four weeks, which shows she shouldn’t take long” Cameron handed the list to Kara who almost choked at the size of it.

 

“That’s a lot” Kara showed it to Lena “what is this hormone injection?”

 

“It’s for mothers who really want to speed the natural birth, but I don’t think we should come to that” the couple agreed “I’m going to do a touch exam now, it’s a little uncomfortable, just take a deep breath and relax okay? If you get nervous it might bother you more.”

 

Lena nodded and let the doctor do what had to be done. It didn’t hurt, but it was weird.

 

“And what about labor, what should I do when the time comes? Lena questioned, “are you going to be there with me?”

 

“I’m going to be present the whole time and I'll make sure all your wishes are followed, you chose the hospital's natural childbirth procedure so you’ll have more freedom as to what position you want to give birth in, when to breastfeed her and when to hold the baby” Cameron explained calmly, Lena was always thankful for her never-ending patience “Kara will be allowed to participate, if you want to, and I recommend she does and once the birth is over, the nurses will take you to your room and take Lizzie to routine exams. All you have to do is tell me once the contractions get too strong. Here is a little chart to know when to worry, if the pain reaches or goes over seven, you let me know, okay?”

 

“Right” she took a deep breath and looked over to the computer screen, where Lizzie was showing as a black and white shadow “I’m really anxious and it's killing me.”

 

“That is completely normal, time does seem to go by slower” Cameron let Lena go to the bathroom to changed and found herself alone with Kara, who was still quiet “now is the time to get into sex toys, if you want to write it down on the list” she joked, seeing the blond go as red as a tomato.

 

“Uh… o-okay… you think… will it help?” Kara thought she was going to die of embarrassment “I don’t.... don’t want to hurt the baby or Lena…”

 

“Like I said, take it slow and let her lead the rhythm that’s best for her” the doctor was serious and Kara nodded, feeling more and more like hiding her face.

 

“What?” she noticed the doctor staring at her.

 

“There’s something I’d like to talk to you quickly before Lena comes back” Kara’s body tensed as the doctor’s serious tone took over “I’m not trying to invade your private life, but being Supergirl and being a mother are two draining jobs.”

 

Kara’s eyes went wide and all the blood in her face disappeared.

 

Oh, Rao.

 

“I… I don’t… what are you talking about?”

 

“That night, the New Year’s, I caught a glimpse of your suit underneath your shirt, and don’t worry it’s none of my business” Cameron tried to calm her down, “but I worry about Lena. Since that night, I started to notice some differences between Lizzie and the other babies, she is special and now I know why. Lizzie is your biological daughter somehow, some way that I can’t explain, right?

 

“Yes… I’m sorry…” her head hung down.

 

“You don’t owe me any apologies, this is about your girlfriend” she pointed to the bathroom door away from there “I don’t know if she knows or not, but if she doesn’t, you should tell her. Kara, I clearly remember our first consultation, the way Lena looked broken and didn’t even want to glance at the computer screen, refusing her own daughter. Don’t make her feel like that again, look at how far you’ve come” Cameron held the woman’s hands and smiled “think about it, okay?”

 

Kara nodded and a few moments later, Lena walked back in.

 

“Good luck,” Cameron wished as a goodbye.

 

 

***

 

 

The sex marathon began the very same day, Lena being too desperate and anxious to wait. It’s not like Kara would complain, but she was definitely grateful for being kryptonian, otherwise, she would have already passed out from tiredness. She began sleeping every night at Lena’s place, helping her with the dogs, with her diet, and trying not to go insane with her personal anxiety. Lizzie seemed to refuse to be born or she just wanted to drive her moms crazy. Neither of them knew what the answer was but they couldn’t take it.

 

The fortieth first week started in a rush. Sam and Alex were dealing with double the amount of work, since the CEO was now and maternity leave was so was Supergirl, though the DEO didn’t think she would ever need one. Winn was almost moving to Lena’s apartment, wanting to get to know Lizzie as soon as she was born. But James kept his friend under control, doing his best to distract him with movies, star wars, and a lot of popcorn. It was like everyone’s life was changing because of Lena, even Eliza stayed in National City, sleeping at Alex’s place and not making her very happy about it.

 

“I have something for us” Kara murmured in the middle of a make-out session, knowing very well where it was leading them “Lena…”

 

The woman stopped abusing her girlfriend’s neck and turned to her, the green eyes covered by a dilated black pupil. Her naked body was already covered in sweat from previous orgasms but Lena was insatiable.

 

“And what would that be?” she asked hoarsely. Kara got up and walked, naked as the day she was born, to the closet, feeling Lena’s eyes devour her body. She took a box out of one drawer and got back to bed.

 

“I, uh… I don’t…” she sighed, fixing her mess of hair with a hand “Sam helped me and I really don’t want to remember that fact, but… the doctor said… it could help and I… uh…”

 

“Just show me what it is,” Lena asked and Kara took a black, cylinder-shaped toy out of the box. Lena’s body immediately reacted just at the thought of her girlfriend wearing that.

 

“If you don’t want you, I can…”

 

Lena shut her up with an intense kiss and that was the best answer Kara could get. The blond got on her knees on the mattress and put on the toy, feeling the other side of the toy touch her clit. She whimpered with anticipation and took a deep breath. Lena’s look could tear her apart now. Kara knew how desperate she was, how turned on she was. They kissed with urgency, losing themselves in the feeling of intertwined mouths and pressing breasts. The room heated, and they felt it in their skin, impregnating the walls with the smell of sex. Putting her girlfriend on her lap, since that was still the most comfortable position for her, she began applying pressure to her clit, moving in circles and feeling the liquid run down her fingers.

 

“Kara…” she whimpered, moving her hips, feeling the strap on her thigh “Ka-Kara… please…”

 

“I know, baby” Kara whispered, kissing her neck and down to her nipples, sucking and lightly biting them “bent down for me.”

 

Lena nodded and changed positions, going on fours, fully exposing herself to her girlfriend. She held on to the bedpost, spread her legs, and waited for what it felt like forever. She could feel her center pulsing with desire.

 

“If it hurts, tell me and I’ll stop” Kara whispered and she nodded.

 

The woman kissed her back, tracing her spine down and again exploring her folds with her fingers, lubricating the toy with Lena’s natural lubricant. She placed her hand on her lower back and so fit the long, thick, delicious toy in, making Lena moan loudly with pleasure. Kara waited until her inner walls were used to the feeling, also letting a guttural sound out as the toy rubbed on her own center.

 

“Fuck, that’s so good” Lena whimpered and suspired.

 

Moving her hips slowly, Kara went back to kissing her shoulders and pulled her hair back, making her arch her neck. Lena pushed her hips back, deepening the invasion, they were both shaking, out of breath. Soon they fell into a rhythm, Kara began moving in and out, carefully but firm, making sure she wasn’t hurting Lena. Lena, on the other hand, knew she wasn’t going to last long, all her senses were sharpened and at the same time, her brain didn’t seem to even be working. She let out one moan, two, three times, Kara now going in deep into her, encouraging the sounds that were music to her ears.

 

“More, more, more, please… Kara!” her hands weakened and so her whole body convulsed. She let out her name one last time and felt her girlfriend's hands holding her, making her she didn’t fall straight to the mattress

 

It felt amazing, a whole new sensation, and completely overwhelming.

 

“It’s okay, I got you” Kara whispered, still buried inside her.

 

A few minutes passed, Lena just trying to keep her sense of reality and catch a breath. Once their eyes met again, Kara knew she was doomed.

 

“I love you, Lena Luthor” she kissed her cheeks “I love you two, so much” her fingers went up and down Lena’s belly.

 

“Kara, I want you here” Lena whispered, hesitantly, still high from the last climax. She knew she might be crossing a lime, maybe it was too soon, but she wanted to use that moment of bravery. She would only regret the mistake tomorrow “I want you here every day, I don’t want you to love on Monday. I want you here with me…”

 

Kara hugged her tight and sighed, happy.

 

“I’ll stay, for as long as you’ll want me.”

 

Yeah, maybe it wasn’t a mistake.

 

 

***

 

 

“Lena asked me to move in with her” Kara spit the words that Tuesday afternoon. Three days ago, Kara had said yes but only now things got clearer in her head.

 

She had said yes.

 

Oh, Rao!

 

“Is this why you took me out of work?” Alex asked, frowning and throwing herself on top of the bed, placed on Lena’s guest room “what’s wrong then?”

 

“She doesn’t know who I am, how am I going to live here and hide Supergirl?” she stated the obvious.

 

“Tell her the truth.”

 

“Yeah, I’m going to do that today” she was firm “Lena is going to be back in a few minutes and I’m going to tell her.”

 

“Wow, hold up, Romeo” Alex interrupted “are just going to say it out of nowhere?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Okay, okay… right” she sighed “do you think she’ll have some super reaction?”

 

“Honestly, I don’t know, but I can’t handle this anymore” Kara mumbled “I have to take this weight off me, I only waited this long because I was scared of more serious consequences, but now… there’s no reason for me to hide. I’m going to tell Lena I’m Supergirl.

 

That’s when the door room opened suddenly and the sisters turned over, finding a red-eyed Lena, face stained with tears and dress stained with blood. Her hands were holding the wet clothes and Kara got up fast, not knowing how much she had heard, it wasn’t supposed to be like that. The truth wasn’t supposed to be told like that.

 

Her water had broken. Lizzie was coming. And her world had fallen apart.

Notes:

please don't murder me

I'll see you guys next Tuesday!

Chapter 21: In My Daughter's Eye

Notes:

Hello beautiful people, how is everyone feeling this Tuesday?

 

Don't forget to leave kudos and comment! (your comments are the best, I swear)

Chapter Text

 

Kara Danvers is Supergirl.

 

Kara, her sweet and adorable Kara. The one who said she loved her, who believed and trusted her.

 

So it was true.

 

How could Lena be so easily deceived by her own heart? She knew, deep down she knew. The same blue eye, the same golden hair, the same scar, and the same smile. But sometimes your mind does crazy things to protect you from excruciating pain. It was a coincidence, a simple coincidence. A lot of people are blond with blue eyes, like a lot. But, Lena wasn’t stupid. Her suspicion had begun a while ago.

 

When Agnes recognized her without even meeting the hero. The same tastes, the same habits, the same care, even though Supergirl kept a distant, respectful distance from her. It wasn’t just that. They both had the same warmth, the same that Lizzie had. And the necklace, the one Lena gave to Kara on Christmas and was around the girl of steel’s neck. Those facts became more and more clear, but the truth would hurt her too much, so she ignored it. It would be too much. Too painful of a truth to deal with.

 

Maybe before everything happened, Lena would understand better and would try to step on her friend’s shoe. She maybe would ignore the last name situation, Kara hadn’t kept the secret because she was a Luthor, right? Lena didn’t want to think. The fact was, nine months ago, Lena would have been more rational. But now? There was no chance. The anger, disappointment, and anguish were the only things she could feel.

 

Her heart was broken.

 

Listen to Kara tell Alex she would reveal her identity wasn’t really a choice. Lena had come back home almost crying of pain, the contractions had increased quickly in just forty minutes. She needed to ask for help, she needed to go to the hospital and let Lizzie be born. At the same time, she was scared, Lena was also excited. Her daughter was about to be born, she would meet her face, take her hands and finally get to hold her. All nine months would be worth it because of that one day. But then, Lena heard it.

 

Damned super hearing. Lena was grateful it was finally coming to an end. Lena stood outside the door, listening to her own girlfriend talk about how she would reveal her secret identity. Something she could’ve done way sooner and Lena didn’t understand why she did it. However, now wasn’t the moment to discuss this, because her dress was soaked, her water had broken and Lena could rip her own skin of how much pain she was feeling. She looked at Alex sitting on the bed, showing surprise and concern. The agent definitely didn’t think that would happen now and didn’t want Lena to find the truth out like that. They got up fast, talking intelligible things at the same time and the dizziness in her body kept her from thinking straight.

 

Lena had already decided Alex would keep the puppies and Agnes during Lizzie’s first month. She was scared the girl might have some allergies, though she knew her alien DNA wouldn’t allow it. But there was so much that Lena didn’t know about her daughter, how her health would be and so many other things. Lena wouldn’t test her limits, she would treat her baby like any normal baby, a fragile human being in need of total attention and care. When Lena came to herself again, Kara already had her purse in hand and Alex was on the phone with doctor Cameron, Kara kept trying to get her focus. Nothing worked.

 

“Lena, can you hear me? Please, say something, anything!” she begged and Lena turned to her slowly.

 

Another contraction.

 

A scream.

 

“Let’s run to the hospital, there’s no time for conversation” Alex intervened “Kara!”

 

“Take the car, I’m going to take Lena” and without warning, took her in her arms, feeling her squeezing her shoulder tight

 

Lena was squirming with pain, sweat dripping down her face and her skin looked paler than ever. Alex didn’t say anything else, she grabbed the car keys, the purses and ran to the street. Kara, ignoring the fact she wasn’t properly dressed to fly, took off from the window and came close to breaking the barrier of sound. Her heartbeat was racing and her eyes were blurred with tears, the CEO still panting and crying. Lizzie was going to be here soon, so close to them and yet the fear was still bigger. Fear that Lena might have listened, fear of what she could do. Fear of losing her world again.

 

As they got into the room, two nurses came running to change Lena’s clothes and get her more comfortable to give birth. Cameron arrived right behind them, asking for proper clothes to be brought for Kara and for Lena to be back immediately. Things were moving so fast no one was noticing time go by. The screams echoed down the hall, almost capable of breaking glass and Kara swore she had never seen Lena so desperate. She stood next to her as the nurses brought her back, holding her hand and noticing the amount of strength she was making as she pushed. But, at some point, their eyes met. And so Kara noticed that this might be the last happy moment she would have next to her.

 

“Dilating nine, can somebody tell me the time between contractions?” The doctor asked, examining the patient through touch and trying to talk to her.

 

“No!” Lena screamed, “it’s… hurting!”

 

“I need you to push, okay?” Cameron asked, receiving a nod in return “I need you to use all your strength and take deep breaths.

 

“I can’t do it!” she cried and yelled, her face burning with tears “I can’t do it, I can’t…” her voice broke.

 

“Lena, look at me,” Kara asked, not knowing what to do “You can do it, I believe in you. Squeeze my hand, as hard as you need. You can do it.”

 

Another scream came out, the doctor now could see the baby’s head.

 

“I…” she sobbed “I hate you so much, so much…” she closed her eyes, her hands were white from the force. Lena held so tight to her hand she thought she was going to break it “wh-why did you do this to me, why?”

 

Kara focused on the moment, trying not to let tears fall. She shouldn’t take it personally, she didn’t want to. But it hurt to hear Lena say she hated her, it hurt like hell. And she kept repeating it.

 

“Lena, push!” a nurse asked, while Cameron focused on the job between her legs.

 

“Do you want to change your position?” the doctor asked, Lena, nodded, screaming again and now losing balance “Kara, help her move.”

 

“Lean on me,” Kara said. Lena used her shoulder to get up and was on her knees, squatting, using all her strength to push again

 

Lena had never experienced pain like that, it felt like her body was being ripped apart into a thousand pieces. More than that, her heart was aching. She felt sweat streaming down her skin, the hair stuck to her forehead and back. Her breathing was failing and it felt like every hipbone was about to break. Lena wanted to give up, she wanted to ask for help and say she wasn’t brave enough to continue. She squeezed her girlfriend’s hands again, feeling her legs give in for a moment, and cried all the tears she had. She could die of the exhaustion her soul was drowning in.

 

“One more time!”

 

She screamed and suddenly the room was filled by a shrilling cry, shattering. Lena fell back and if it wasn’t for Kara holding her, she would have fallen to the floor. The exhaustion from the last hours was going to hit her completely, but nothing mattered now. Lizzie was there. Lizzie, her darling girl, had finally arrived in her world. Still inebriated by the feelings, Cameron let her hold the baby, the umbilical cord still there. Some believe it’s best to only cut it after it stops pulsing. After all, that was the only connection the baby had up until she was born. The connection that kept her alive for nine months.

 

Lena sobbed and placed the girl’s little dirty body over her bare chest. Skin on skin. Mother and daughter

 

Kara closed her eyes and kneeled down, hiding her head in her arms and allowing herself to break. Her hands were shaking and she didn’t know what to feel. It was like she had just put her heart out of her body.

 

“Daughter…” Lena whispered, the little girl still crying loudly, squirming awkwardly.

 

Lena traced her back, holding her from behind, and kissed the soaked head. The nurses left the room for more privacy, but even if there was a crowd watching, neither Lena nor Kara cared. Lizzie deserved all the attention in the world. She kissed her again and again, repeating I love you’s non-stop. Gradually, the girl began to calm down, recognizing her mother’s heartbeat and looking for a more comfortable position. Lena took a deep breath and leaned her head on the stretcher, feeling the tears run down again. She made it.

 

Lizzie was hers. Completely hers.

 

She had her on her arms, holding her with only one and her chest, she cleaned the blood from her eyebrows, noting the little girl was finally opening her arms to see her for the first time. Grey met green, and then met blue. Kara observed her daughter as one admired their own world. Smiling like someone who had just found a reason to live. Lizzie raised her arms and grabbed Kara’s finger as if she was saying everything would be okay. But who was Kara trying to fool? Her heart was screaming and the consequences of her actions were coming to take her down. But she preferred the silence because the peace her little kryptonian brought her was the purest feeling she had ever felt.

 

“I love you, daughter” Kara whispered, trying to muffle the sob that tried to rip through her throat.

 

A few minutes later, a nurse came back to take her. Cameron needed to make the routine procedures and soon would be back with the girl. Lena was afraid to give her the girl and never see her again but drowned it inside her. As she watched the nursed walk out the door with her daughter in hands, her eyes closed and the exhaustion finally won over her body, taking her conscience far away.

 

 

***

 

 

The first thing Lena saw as she woke up was Kara rocking a little peaceful baby, already dressed in an overall. She still remembered the day she bought that piece when she planned minutely every detail for her daughter. Lena thought it was funny because it felt like playing house, choosing laces and clothes that wouldn’t even fit her yet. Now she understood what it meant when her friends said ‘girl’s mother’. She truly was going to be a mama bear. As Lena moved the thin sheet from over her, she found herself in a hospital gown, the front side opened to make feeding easier.

 

Lena rubbed her eyes with her knuckles and paid attention to the calming, low sound that resonated in the room. Kara was humming a lullaby.

 

“I’m glad you’re awake, Ms. Luthor” the nurse greeted her with a smile as she walked in “you need to feed the baby and I’m here to help you.

 

“Hey, Seedy” Kara whispered “look who’s awake, it’s mommy” she pointed to the woman and Lizzie mumbled.

 

“I’m going to walk you through it but it’s the baby who does the job for the most part” the nurse took the girl from one mother and gave her to the other. She helped expose the full breast, pushing the gown and hair back “at first it’s going to hurt and you need you to tell me the intensity of it. It’s very common to take a while to get it right, don’t feel pressured, some babies aren’t strong enough to suck yet and the milk might take a while to move.

 

“Okay,” she murmured, hesitantly. The nurse placed another pillow behind her back, observing the newly mother trace her daughter’s cheeks and bring her closer to her nipple “shit… it hurts…” Lena closed her eyes as she felt a stab of pain”

 

As expected, Lizzie quickly sucked the milk, starving as usual. Her little hand raised in the air and Lena gave her a finger to hold on to, smiling at her daughter’s strength and health. The pain in her breast was still there was but it was something she could get used to. She could feel Kara’s eyes on her, curious, hesitant, terrified. But she didn’t want to talk about that now. She didn’t want to fight, argue, or ask a million questions she had about that lie and its reasons. Nine months kept in the dark, nine months thinking she was pregnant with someone she didn’t love. Because it was true, so loved Kara, but she never felt the same for Supergirl. Would it have been easier to deal with, if she knew? Maybe. Lena didn’t know.

 

Right now, the grey eyes and rose-colored cheeks in front of her were all that mattered.

 

“I’ll be at the maternity ward if you need me, my name is Betty” Lena smiled at the nurse “visitation hours are open and in thirty minutes I’ll be bringing you some food. Feel free to take a shower and change clothes, but I recommend that you use dresses and comfortable clothes in the first weeks.”

 

“Thank you, Betty” Lena was honest “how much do I… how much does she have to feed?”

 

“Once she’s full, she’s going to drop your breast and sleep” she explained “in time, you’re going to understand her hunger. Newborns usually breastfeed in one and one hours, but some can be more or less than that. She is going to sleep a lot, just like you also have to use this time to rest” Betty turned around to the other side of the bed “Ms. Danvers, call me if you need anything.”

 

“I will, Betty” she smiled “do you know when we’re going to get discharged?”

 

“Doctor Cameron is going to drop by later, she’s scrubbing in a surgery right now” Betty continued “but probably tomorrow, or even later today, Ms.Luthor you’ll be able to go home.

 

“Okay.”

 

And so the two women found themselves alone, for the first time in hours. They weren’t sure how long the labor lasted for how long Lena had slept, but it was like time had decided to go by excruciatingly slowly. Lena went back to looking at her daughter, noticing every detail of that small, chubby body and reddened skin. The hair was black, like hers, straight and thin. The hard part was figuring out similarities between her and Kara. The nose was the same, just like the eye shape and the habit of groaning while asleep. Sure, her daughter’s physique would change in time, but that only made Lena think how similar she could look to the kryptonian.

 

“She is so hungry” Kara commented quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed. It was strange to think so much intimacy was just gone now.

 

“As always” Lizzie sighed, falling asleep but her lips still moving.

 

“Alex is outside, so is Eliza… well, I think everyone is waiting to come in, Ramona and Julie also said they’re going to visit you at the apartment,” she said, laughing and feeling her smile die down as she noticed Lena was barely listening, or smiling at her “but if you want to talk, I…”

 

“I don’t want to talk about this now, or later and I don’t know when I’ll want to” Lena cut it and Kara’s blood froze “I’m exhausted, Lizzie is asleep and we just need to make sure she’s fine.”

 

“Right” Kara looked away.

 

“But I think we have to decide something together” Lena continued and their eyes met “I didn’t talk to you about it before because, theoretically, you weren’t her mother. But now that… I know, I think it’s fair you know.

 

“What is it?” Kara asked, watching Lena cover her chest now that Lizzie had finally stopped eating.

 

“I’ve never been a religious person, but I believe Lizzie deserved to have a godmother, and a godfather” Lena explained. She moved her daughter from lying down to now standing over her chest and tapped her back lightly “I, particularly, already chose someone, so you can pick the other.”

 

“Oh…” was all Kara managed to say.

 

“You can also choose to not do anything” Lena pointed out. Bitterness was almost dripping down her tongue.

 

“No, no” Kara sighed nervously, hands going down her hair “I… I think I already have someone in mind.

 

“Good, you can tell me however you want, just so I know who it is beforehand,” she asked, her face was clean from any emotion “I picked Alex.”

 

That was a surprise.

 

“She’s going to cry for a whole week” Kara smiled, imagining her sister’s reaction “I hope Winn feels happy too. Do you think… can we tell them together? I mean… I… I think it would be nice… maybe…”

 

“Fine by me, let your mother in first then call the others” Kara nodded, and soon Eliza walked in, smiling the brightest of smiles and feeling so proud of the two women in front of her.

 

“Lena, darling, how do you feel?” Eliza kissed her forehead and looked at the little sleepy head on her shoulders “are you tired?”

 

“Exhausted” Lena was honest “but it was worth it, it still is.

 

“And it’s going to be worth it for your whole life, I assure you that” Eliza looked at her daughter and kissed her face “may I?” she pointed to Lizzie. Lena hesitated for a moment, she knew the fear was silly when it came to that. Eliza was the grandmother of her child, literally. They were family now, no matter how much she wanted to be apart from it.

 

“Sure” Lena handled Lizzie carefully, observing the attentive, simple way she laid her on her arms. The smile on Eliza’s face calmed her down a little. Kara was also keeping her eyes on the baby, ready to take her at any sign of crying. When it came to that, the two mothers were identical.

 

“Hey, baby girl” she whispered “You’re so beautiful and strong, like your mothers. You’re going to give them a lot of work” Lena smiled, relaxed for the first time since that chaos “I know we already met, but just so you won’t forget, my name is Eliza and I make the best cookies in Midvale.

 

“Lizzie” Lena moved to the bed to get closer “this is your grandmother” she traced the thin hair slowly and the girl wrinkled her nose, just like Kara used to do. Eliza looked at her with teary eyes, ecstatic for knowing she truly was a grandma and now you have a mini-Kara running on her house “it’s in her bracelet, her full name. You’re her grandmother.”

 

That's when both Kara and her mother paid attention to it. Lizzie was wearing a tiny bracelet, with her mother’s name, her full name, and the day she was born:

 

Lena Luthor | Apt 208 | 25 years

Lizzie Luthor Danvers - April 16.

 

Her daughter had her surname, Kara was going to have a legacy to leave. Sure, she couldn’t register her as Zor-El, but J’onn made it clear the DEO had to keep a document with them, indicating that the girl was an alien presence on the planet, in case there was been an emergency, so they wouldn’t see Lizzie as a danger to humanity. It was just a matter of control because by now everyone in the DEO knew. So, Lizzie would be registered twice, one as Luthor Danvers and the other as Luthor Zor-El. Kara tried to get a hold of herself but the tears won the battle once again. She excused herself and ran to the bathroom, allowing every piece of herself to shatter a little more. As much as Lena was angry, distant, and hurt, she still made sure Kara was a part of her daughter.

 

Eliza looked at Lena, aware of the painful and embarrassing situation. She understood both parts and just hoped they would be able to fix it with patience and maturity. Kara and Lena needed to learn how to tame their fears and insecurities and learn to see a world bigger than their own. They still didn’t know each other completely, though the kryptonian knew a lot more about Lena than the other way around. Eliza still remembered her daughter's first days on Earth, how she was difficult, scared, stubborn, and impulsive. Those were hard times, Kara never talked about Krypton with her parents or anything from her previous life. Not even Alex could take a word out of her about it, meanwhile, Kara stayed up, crying throughout the long nights.

 

“Well, I believe Alex is about to combust from anxiety, so I’m going, so I’m going to ignore my grandma needs and let her meet her aunt” Eliza joked, seeing a glimpse of a spark on the CEO’s eyes and a sad smile on her daughter’s lips “be well and rest, and you, Kara, meet me at the cafe later,” she said tenderly and they nodded.

 

As soon as the older woman left the room, handing the child to Kara, Alex and Winn walked in, not understanding why they had to go in together. Alex ran to her sister’s side and Winn did the same, both gazing at the little girl, peacefully sleeping in her mother’s arms. Kara smiled proudly, feeling her heart inflate in her chest, and kissed her daughter’s forehead, whispering words in kryptonian, some known for the CEO. And that fact hurt deep in her soul. While learning about the planet reigned by a red sun, Lena created somewhat of affection for their culture and ways of living. Lena wondered what Kara would be like if Krypton was still alive if she had never taken refuge on Earth, come to live with an entirely different family, and deal with an insurmountable loss. Kara would probably be a great leader and would end up marrying someone important, as noble as her.

 

Lena would’ve never met the sweetest reporter in National City. Lex wouldn’t have become Superman's archenemy. Supergirl wouldn’t have saved her life. Lena wouldn’t fall in love with her best friend. She would be alone because Lizzie wouldn’t exist. Whether she liked it or not, Kara was the reason her life was the way it was now, the feeling of confusion invaded her soul, suffocating it. To what extent was that loss worth it just so Lena could have her happiness. They were torturous, painful feelings that left her with an empty sensation inside.

 

Because she now knew what it was like for Kara Danvers to lose a whole history in a blink of an eye.

 

Lena buried those thoughts deep inside and sighed, she was still sore, hurt, and feeling deliberately betrayed. Now it was time to do what she knew best: ignore it. Lizzie was her world, her life, and her heart. Lena would kill and die for her, she would move mountains and reach the sky. And she was sure her girlfriend would do the same, without thinking twice. But now, Lena wasn’t sure she could continue to call her girlfriend, the only thing tying them together now was their status as mothers of the same girl. Just that.

 

“Hey, how are you, mommy?” Alex sat beside Lena and embraced her softly, allowing the Luthor to lean on her shoulder “almost three hours of labor and you still look like the most beautiful woman in the world” she joked, making the other roll her eyes.

 

“I know you’re only here for Lizzie so cut the bull” Lena teased back and they smiled.

 

“I’m proud of you, Lutessa. Very” she kissed her head “Lizzie is undoubtedly a lucky kid.” 

 

“Look at those cheeks, the toes, this girl,” Winn said with a high pitch, never averting his eyes from the baby “I think I’ve just fallen in love for the first time…”

 

“Stay away from my daughter, Winn” Kara menaced “her league is far higher.”

 

“Hey! Are you saying I’m a bad catch?” he crossed his arms, pouting.

 

“Or she’s saying all Danvers are lesbians” Alex teased, leaving her friend speechless.

 

“Okay, no one is deciding my daughter’s love life or her sexuality now” Lena intervened “and that’s not the reason I called you two.”

 

“Kara, let her go for a little, let me hold her” Alex complained but her sister didn’t move a finger “Lena!”

 

“Kara, please,” Lena asked and the other woman pouted, though she knew it wouldn’t work now. Lizzie was moved around again and Alex smiled like a child, in love with her niece.

 

“Five minutes, then it’s my turn” Winn established but Alex just stuck her tongue out in disagreement.

 

Winn stuck his tongue out in return.

 

“Okay, but why are we here, besides planning my niece’s kidnapping?” Alex asked and the blonde suddenly became alert “I’m kidding, Kara.”

 

“Well, I thought it was a good idea for Lizzie to have godmothers or godfathers, so we chose two people” Lena explained “Kara picked one and I another.”

 

“Wow, hold on, hold on” Winn pointed to himself and them to Alex. Mouth falling open in disbelief. However, when he saw the confirming smiles from both mothers, his heart skipped a beat “I can’t believe it… oh my God, I’m a godfather, is that it?"

 

“Unless you want me to choose someone else” Kara provoked, seeing her friend frown.

 

“If you do that I’m never looking at your face again,” he said, slightly offended

 

“I have something for you, Alex” Lenas asked Kara to give her her purse and took a simple package out “it’s not a big deal, I just wanted to show you that, since the beginning, your words and patience were very important to me. And that Lizzie is going to have the best aunt and godmother.”

 

Alex, grudgingly and a little dramatic, handed Lizzie to Winn, who immediately began talking to the girl with Kara right behind him, listing the things the girl had gotten from her, though she was only a few hours old and her face was still wrinkled. The package was open casually and three pieces of clothing were found there. Two were a pain, a shirt and a little overall, both black and each one with a sentence.

 

‘I’m the sassy aunt', the shirt said ‘I’m sassy like my aunt’ the overall said right after.

 

The woman looked at each other and the glow in Alex’s eyes proved to Lena she had gotten the right gift. The other shirt contained another writing:

 

“Aunt: like a mother, but cooler” Alex read out loud and snorted, hugging Lena tightly. By now, neither of them cared about their friendship protocols, they loved each other and had learned so much in the past months. Alex found out that behind the intimidating, closed, and distant image of the CEO, there was a sweet, loving woman that only wanted approval and recognition, a woman who had a huge heart and now was the mother of the most charming girl in the world. On the other hand, Lena found out that Alex, although overprotective, serious, and formal, she was just a tender woman, who liked to tease and take care of people, who cared about others more than herself. They were both grateful for allowing themselves to feel.

 

The pair left so Sam could come in and have her turn, this time, Lena asked Kara to leave, She wanted to have a moment alone with her friend and didn’t explain over that. Kara, though feeling left aside and afraid of losing every second of her daughter’s life, accepted it and remembered she had to meet Eliza at the cafe. Alex would, of course, go with her, she knew her sister and was sure she was struggling to keep herself together and not fall apart. It would take a while for the weight to fall on her shoulders and hit her hard. Sam, as soon as she got an okay nod from Alex, asked for her to take Ruby for a snack and gave her a quick peck on the kips, smiling warmingly.

 

Sam walked quietly into the room, listening to Lizzie groan and cry. She remembered the time Ruby was a newborn and used to cry all night long. Sam was divided between nostalgia and relief.

 

“Is she giving you a hard time already?” Sam smiled and Lena looked up, smiling weekly. She moved a little and let the woman sit beside you.

 

“Hunger, apparently” Lena sighed, taking her other breast out and grimacing with pain as Lizzie began sucking on it almost in despair, but now calmer and quieter as she felt the food on her mouth “it hasn’t even been thirty minutes since the last time.”

 

“Well, she needs to eat and don’t complain, there’s a phase where they start to reject food and it isn’t great” they laughed “you know you don’t have to pretend this strength for me.”

 

And so, the CEO hid her face on her friend’s neck and sobbed, trying not to disturb her daughter with the awkward position. All her walls fell down, causing an earthquake in her soul and a painful hurt. Sam held her tight and allowed her to cry as much as she needed, understanding that moment in silent comprehension. Alex, while they were in the waiting room, told her what happened and how it happened. Sam wished her friend hadn’t found out in such a blunt, uncareful way. Lena deserved a plausible explanation, one where she could answer her doubts and fears. But life, or destiny or fucking karma, had another plan stored for her.

 

With her face red and soaked in tears, Lena looked at Sam, feeling stupid for crying. Of course, it was hurting and would hurt for a while. Looking at Lizzie meant looking at Kara. Although right now she just wanted to disappear, take her daughter, and just never come back, she couldn’t. It wasn’t fair to her, to Lizzie, and much less to Kara. There was a war inside her, her brain was battling her heart, both with grand arguments and almost sentencing each other to death. One of them was going to lose and Lena was sure it would be her poot broken heart.

 

“I love you, Lena, so I want you to listen to me carefully” Sam murmured, fixing her hair from her face and taking Lizzie in her arms, putting her in a vertical position so she wouldn’t choke “a child comes with a huge box called responsibility. When this box arrived, I had to take it alone, completely alone. You don’t need and don’t have to do the same” she explained “from now on, everything you decided will be for two people. Lizzie is your priority and you will always put her first. However, Kara is the other mother, and as painful as it is, she wants to participate and you can allow it.

 

“I don’t know if I can, Sam,” Lena said quietly, drying her tears with a hand “I can’t… I can’t even look at her and not see the lie, see the truth that was spelled out for me and I chose to ignore it” she was honest “I wonder how divorced parents manage to deal with that situation because I don’t know if I have what it takes to do that.”

 

“No one does, and to be honest, I would've gone mad if Ruby’s dad wanted to be there. But turns out, you and Kara are going to have to learn to separate things” Sam pointed out. Her hand went up and down the girl's back, her breathing was the only sound capable of calming Lena down “Lizzie is the bond between you and it’s going to last forever, but that doesn’t mean you have to nurture your relationship. It’s a choice entirely yours.”

 

“Lizzie is everything to me, literally everything and I never thought I’d be able to love someone like that” Lena confessed, holding the tiny hand and kissing it “I just want to be a good mother.”

 

‘You already are, Lena. You always have been, since the first day” Sam gave her back to Lena, and as soon as she had her daughter in her arms, she kissed the rose-colored cheeks and smiled in love. That perfect little creature would be by her side for long years, years she couldn’t wait to live “and I want to be the favorite aunt” Sam winked.

 

“You’re going to have a strong competition and, in that case, she is very competitive” Lena warned.

 

“Nothing I can’t solve with a little persuasion” Sam smirked and the Luthor cocked a brow, smiling maliciously.

 

“I didn’t know persuasion was a synonym to sex, Samantha” she laughed and felt her cheeks burn “but I’m glad to see you two like that.”

 

“I can’t even lie, I really like her and I hope it works out.”

 

“One of us has to win at love” she was sarcastically dark.

 

“You say that now, but I believe in time” Sam looked at her tenderly “don’t overthink it, you need to enjoy this cuteness that’s sleeping, and rest. Promise me?

 

“I promise” Lena lied but Sam knew her well enough so she squinted her eyes, not buying it “I swear I’m going to try.”

 

“Okay, mama bear” Sam kissed both foreheads again.

 

 

***

 

 

Kara went back to the room to find her two favorite people in deep sleep. Lena had put Lizzie back in the hospital crib and took the time to rest. The little kryptonian soon woke up but her other mother distracted her, knowing Lena needed some hours of sleep, which ended up being only half an hour because Lizzie had an uncontrollable hunger. Kara couldn’t judge her, she knew what that felt like. At the end of the day, doctor Cameron dropped by to tell the Luthor-Danvers family they were good to go and that the girl was well, healthy and the mommy would only need a little more patience with her body while it was getting used to the after-birth.

 

Lena could feel pain, have light bleedings, and soreness on her intimate parts. Cameron warned against any sexual activity at least for the next weeks, it would still be risky. She said she was going to give them contact for a pediatrician, a friend of hers, and made it clear they could call her anytime. First-time mothers called even at three a.m. and Lena should do it without feeling guilty, pediatricians were used to it. If anything, doctor Cameron would be glad to answer the phone in the middle of the night and help. Kara got the last instructions from her while a nurse helped Lena up and followed her to the bathroom.

 

One hour later, they left the hospital, and Lena's driver took them to the apartment. Neither of them dared to break the silence but they knew they had to talk.

 

While Kara left Lena in her room with Sam, she heard Eliza’s questions about how they were going to deal with that situation. And the truth was, Kara had no idea. Lena didn’t make it clear how she was feeling, but she didn’t need to. Kara could see the pain and disappointment in her crystal green eyes, she could also see a reflection of herself and her brokenness. It was going to be hard and maybe there wasn’t a way back to the way it was. Maybe Lena would never forgive her, maybe they wouldn’t make a family. All because of her fear, because of her cowardness. There wasn’t one second where Kara didn’t blame herself for all the mistakes.

 

And so she just desperately wanted to cry.

 

The apartment was dim, still haunted by the revelation and its heavy atmosphere. On a shell in the living room, they could see the last picture framed there, everyone dressed as minions except for a smiley Lena, sitting in the middle of them. That had been an amazing and fun day, that ended up in pizza and non-stop laughter. Lena had never felt so loved, so cherished, and at peace. A Luthor had never been surrounded by so many good people, by real friends, but now that picture was covered in aching pain that made her doubt all of them. To what extent were they her friends? Lena didn’t want to think about it. Other pictures were added there with time, photos of Kara in Midvale and the two of them on the couch, laughing at something stupid, eating popcorn.

 

Those were memories that seemed so distant and yet so fresh.

 

“I’m going to put her on the crib and take a shower,” Lena said dryly and walked through the hall “when you decide what you want, let me know.”

 

Kara frowned and then remembered the offer.

 

She laughed sadly, ironically. The amorous invitation had painfully turned into a deal.

 

“I thought you would hate me… and that… well, you know…” Kara murmured, looking down and fidgeting with her shirt.

 

“You thought it right” Lena answered, avoiding eye contact “but I don’t hate you because you didn’t tell me at first months of friendship, but because you chose to hide it for the last nine months” Lena finally looked at her and let her exhaustion show through her eyes. Lizzie was still asleep so they were keeping it down “I am the mother of your daughter, your best friend or so I thought. I felt guilty because I was pregnant with someone that wasn’t the person that I loved… the person…” she sighed, drying a stubborn tear on her cheek and keeping herself from confessing anything “I felt bad because in a certain way it was like betraying my feelings for you, even though the pregnancy was not something I could avoid. So tell me, Kara, tell me the truth, why did you lie?”

 

And with the single breach she got, Kara spoke, unsure if she would be able to finish a sentence without falling apart.

 

“Because as Kara Danvers I can fail” Kara choked out, trying to breathe normally “as Kara Danvers I can be weak, I can cry, scream, I can just be the girl with a protective big sister who loved her, that was lucky to have an amazing adoptive family” they kept a distance between them, like just the idea of the warmth of one another would burn them alive “I didn’t have to be the girl abandoned by their parents because their planet was about to explode. So yes, I was selfish, because if I told you, I would lose you too and it would be like losing everything again and I couldn’t handle it. You could have any name, anyone, and I would still be afraid of telling you and saying goodbye one more time to someone I love” her heart was overwhelmed with sincerity.

 

“I’m not angry or bad because you lie, because honestly, it wasn't a lie, it was your secret. I’m like this because you kept it from me the whole time, even though I was carrying your child for nine months” she wasn’t holding back tears anymore. It was terrible to see Kara cry, worse than the mess they were in. But Lena wouldn’t give in, she was hurting too “I needed you, both as Kara and Supergirl and you made me feel awful for having a child of someone that I theoretically didn’t feel anything but gratitude for. And they broke me” she was harsh “you didn’t just break my trust, you broke my heart and I need time.”

 

“How… how much time?” Kara whispered, unsure if the other woman heard her.

 

“I don’t know…” Lena sighed, she wasn’t sure if they were even going to be friends again.

 

“I didn’t want to lose you two, I didn’t want to lose my daughter…” Kara panicked, not finding the emotional balance she was holding on to before. She leaned two steps forwards, trying to find her, but Lena gave three steps back, making it clear she didn’t want any contact.

 

“Now she’s your daughter?” and there it was, the angry part of her that she chose not to show “how convenient for you. But don’t worry, Lizzie is your daughter whether I like it or not. You’re not going to lose her” Lena was cold “but our only bond is her and only her. We’re adults, we’re mature and we’re going to do the best we can to be good for Lizzie and for both of us to be present.

 

“Lena...just let me explain…”

 

“I’m exhausted and I need a shower. If you still want to live here, the offer stand, the guest room is big enough so feel free to bring you things. Lizzie is still too young to be away from me, but some boundaries will be created. We’re not girlfriends, we’re just mothers of the same child.

 

Kara was ready to beg again. Even if she needed to kneel down and implore for another two minutes of her time. But two sirens sounded near them and Kara couldn’t ignore it. Lena shot her a sad look, aware of the duty she had with the city, and sighed heavily. She thanked mentally the sound of it didn’t wake her daughter and searched for the lamp switch which ironically - or not - was shaped like the symbol of the House of El. Lena turned on the red light and heard two breathing become more lethargic, remembering Kara also lost her powers with that.

 

They looked at each other one last time and the hero left the building, only wishing to hold her daughter.

 

 

***

 

 

Alex noticed how shaken up her sister was, distant during the fight and leaving the bad guys for the agents to deal with. Alex didn’t ask or dared to step into her personal space. In moments like these, she understood her sister needed time and space. It would do no good to question her, advise or embrace her. It reminded Alex of the time she had just arrived home, at thirteen, the blue eyes showing just fear and tears. The little girl was shaking and didn’t allow anyone to get close to her, another sign of how confused and scared she was. It took over a year for her to get used to hugs and casual touches. There were moments of anger, when Kara would run outside and scream in the backyard, letting the pain escape through her throat. Not even Eliza was able to calm her down, only exhaustion. It was like that, until one day Alex sat beside her, at the end of an afternoon, observing how the younger girl played with a little rock on her necklace and gazed at the sky

 

“I want to go home” was the only thing she said “I want to go home, Alex.”

 

After that day, they started working together to understand each other. Kara was always scared of the redhead, she thought she was angry and intimidating, but she soon learned to love her and was grateful to have her on her side. Kara’s breakdowns became less common and were properly dealt with, the truth was that the kryptonian began to accept that Krypton wasn’t coming back, that her parents weren’t coming to pick her up, and that her life, starting now, would be entirely different. Eliza became a more motherly figure, though it took a long time for Kara to start calling her mom, she felt sick the first time she did it. Later Jeremiah sat down with her and explained that neither he nor Eliza were ever going to replace her parents and it would be okay if she didn’t want to call them father or mother.

 

They would love her anyway, with the same intensity.

 

And it was with those memories that Kara found herself flying into her apartment through the window, the place still had Lena’s sweet scent. It was like she was there, waiting for Kara on the couch, smiling brightly. They would lie down together and talk about their day and Kara would fall asleep with the cuddles Lena was great at. But that reality hit her in the face hard, kicking her to the ground, making her cry out loud. The apartment was cold, and so was her soul, her hope. Kara held on to her legs, leaned on the wall, and screamed. Screamed like she was still the same confused kid because that wasn’t the life she had planned. If she closed her eyes, the nightmares came back. The feeling of panic, the lack of oxygen, and pure despair.

 

She blinked. And Krypton exploded before her eyes.

 

She blinked again. And she woke up in the phantom zone.

 

She blinked one more time. And saw her mother say she loved and trusted her.

 

Her red cape dragged on the floor and Kara didn’t look like the girl of steel anymore. In fact, she was just as human as anyone on Earth. She was carrying the weight of a world on her back, the burden to be the last daughter of her planet, the only one with memories of a people, an entire culture. Kara didn’t blame Clark for not asking, for not wanting to be with her, for not taking interest in his roots. After all, what could he remember? He was just a baby when it all happened. It was Kara’s duty to keep Krypton alive, it was her duty to carry that burden all her life. No matter how exhausted she was.

 

And then she remembered her little Lizzie. The way she smiled while sleeping or held her finger with her whole hand. It was inside her grey eyes that Kara realized something important.

 

Krypton was alive. Alive in her daughter’s eyes.

 

Her phone rang, pulling Kara out of her thoughts, Lena’s name was written on the bright screen. She took a deep breath and tried to gain her posture again.

 

“Lena, did something happen?” Kara stood up and ran to get normal clothes.

 

“Can you come here now?” Lizzie was crying from the other side and Lena didn’t have to ask twice.

 

“I’ll be there in two minutes.”

 

It didn’t take her more than one minute. Kara flew in through Lena’s balcony and Kara caught a glimpse of relief in the CEO’s eyes. Lizzie was crying loudly, tears streaming down her pinkish face and chest panting from the effort. The hero ran as fast as she could to the bathroom, took a shower, and got dressed. All in a matter of seconds. Lena, although aware of those abilities, was still not used to it. But that was not that time to discuss that.

 

“What happened?” Kara asked, noticing that Lena tried to feed the girl but she kept refusing it “is she in pain?”

 

“I don’t know!” Lena answered anxiously, rocking the baby left and right “a couple of minutes after you left she started crying and hasn’t stopped since. Honestly, I don’t know what happened and I think I’m going to call doctor Cameron.”

 

“May I?” the woman nodded and let Kara hold her daughter, sighing, tired.

 

Kara leaned the baby on her chest, hand going up and down her back and whispering words in kryptonian. Lizzie couldn’t understand them, but Kara kept repeating it over and over until she was sure they became true. A few minutes later, the crying stopped and silence was welcomed with open arms. Neither women knew a thing about newborns, the way they had to be treated, but they were doing their best. Lena pulled the hair, still dirty, from her face, she hadn’t taken a shower all day and saw it was already over two in the morning on the clock. She never thought being a mother would feel like an impossible task.

 

“I need a shower, can you be with her?” Kara felt a little panic rise up, along with her bile but nodded at the request.

 

However, it was only two steps away from the hall and Lizzie started crying again.

 

Lena felt like crying too and she felt extremely incapable. Incapable of enduring it for one more minute without breaking down. How was Lena supposed to be strong if she didn’t even have the energy to stand up?

 

“Let’s sit down and wait until she’s asleep” Kara suggested and Lena couldn’t say no.

 

They sat down together and Lena took the baby back in her arms and took one breast out, feeling a sting of pain as the milk was sucked out of it. She leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes, sleepness almost taking her conscience away, to a world almost as scary as the real one. But a low, calmingly sweet voice echoed through the room’s white wall and her eyes opened to contemplate Kara tracing her daughter’s face with a finger, like someone memorizing a masterpiece. Like someone memorizing a face so it would never fade from them.

 

“If only you knew the sunlight shines a little brighter, the weight of the world's a little lighter, the stars lean in a little closer” Kara whispered lovingly, making the atmosphere calmer, more peaceful “all because of you…”

 

'Cause you are royalty

This is your kingdom, this is your crown

This is your story, this is your moment

Don't look down

 

Lizzie closed her eyes, still a little out of breath, her face redder from the effort, and fell asleep. Tranquilizing her mothers.

 

“Our roots reach in a little deeper, the birds all sing a little sweeter. All to welcome you” Lena gave the little girl back to Kara and walked towards the bathroom. But she stopped just as she entered the hallway, to hear the rest of the song “I wanna see your happily ever after. That you know in your heart that you matter…”

 

 

***

 

 

It was a busy morning at the DEO and Kara came in late, again. It was expected, of course, Alex told her boss that Lizzie was having endless cramp problems and neither Lena nor sister, were getting more than twenty minutes of sleep per night. Eva Zambrano, the pediatrician, assured them it was completely normal because the girl didn’t have the intestine fully prepared to receive breast milk and it was still in development. In time, it would decrease and so, a couple of miracle pills were given to them, relieving the mothers' tension and despair. Although Kara was incapable of tiring herself so fast, she felt her partner's exhaustion - or whatever she and Lena were now. The same shiny green eyes were now carrying a different opaque tone, accompanied by dark bags under it and even her skin looked paler.

 

With the breastfeeding process, the doctor gave Lena some diet tips that were going to favor both the mother and the child. But their moments weren’t always sad, because when Lizzie smiled, yawned, or simply sighed, neither of them could contain their smiles. It was exhaustive but so worth it.

 

“Did we get anything on the meta-human situation?” Kara asked Alex, who was staring at one of the computers, next to Winn.

 

“Unfortunately, nothing productive, or that will lead us to an answer,” Winn said "I’m still trying to track the traces of radiation he left but found nothing important. It’s weird that there’s nothing behind him, it’s like she was thrown in the middle of the street and followed a random path” he sighed “I did some research on his life and the disappearance but there’s nothing consistent. No one knows anything.”

 

“We did find out the material in his DNA isn’t on the DEO’s records” Alex continued “it’s probably from an outsider furnisher or this guy had some sort of special access.”

 

“Changing the subject, how is my favorite goddaughter?” Winn smiled excitedly.

 

“You only have one goddaughter Winn” Alex provoked.

 

“Just because you haven’t given me the next goddaughter, or godson” he rambled “actually, next goddaughter, because, biologically speaking, two women can’t make a male baby.”

 

“Biologically speaking two women can’t make a baby, Winn” the redhead rolled her eyes.

 

“Answering your question, she’s being a lot of work, just sleeping like twenty minutes at night and just eating most of the time” Kara threw herself on an empty chair and sighed. She never felt so alienated from the DEO’s problems “do we have anything on that Reign person?” Kara asked while showing them a picture of her daughter, asleep on the crib.

 

A very rare moment, by the way.

 

“Nothing besides the problem with the addicts near the main port” Winn answered “I really thought she was going to kill that guy.” 

 

“She was” Supergirl spoke worried. There had been only two days since she confronted the woman with the black cape and had gotten nothing but a childish discussion out of it. Reign seemed to like to work alone, without having to answer to someone or interact with others. Something that truly intrigued Kara, besides the symbol on her chest “why does she do what she does? I mean, if she’s a hero, as she seems to be, though with scare methods, why won’t she talk to anyone, or at least me” Me, I am kryptonian too, Kara wanted to say. But kept it to herself.

 

Alem remained in silence during that conversation but that was noticed by her little sister. Her phone rang and three wrinkles appeared between her eyebrows as she looked at the screen. Kara knew that look well.

 

“Ruby?” Alex answered it, already getting up and getting ready for action.

 

“Aunt Alex” the girl answered weakly, clearly bothered by something “can you come to my school right now? My mom won’t answer the phone and the director can’t reach her at L-Corp...”

 

“What happened?” she asked, Kara, positioned herself beside her sister, listening to the whole conversation, of course.

 

“I might… might have gotten into trouble,” she sighed. How was she going to explain that situation? “and I might need a responsible adult to come to pick me up… and I said I had you.”

 

Suddenly, the DEO’s alert sounded strong and painted the room red. There was an unknown alien presence near the city’s main square. However, they all had a guess on who it was: Reign. Supergirl watched Winn run against time to find the right coordinates to send to the agents, who were rushing downstairs, taking their weapons to leave the place as fast as possible. Kara turned to her sister, and for the first time, she looked different. Alex was going to ignore a mission. The hero smiled in understanding, she knew what that motherly instinct felt like. If it was Lizzie in that situation, Kara would do the same, without hesitation.

“I’ll see you later?” Kara asked before flying to the department’s balcony.

 

“Right…” Alex vacillated “Kara!”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You know you can talk to me, right?” and there it was. That immeasurable, intense love.

 

Kara smiled weakly, she wasn’t ready to talk about anything regarding Lena.

 

“I know.”

 

 

***

 

 

Alex arrived a few minutes later at Ruby’s school and her feelings were becoming a tangled mess inside her. To be considered important in a child’s life, was, undoubtedly, marvelous. Sam kept reassuring them how important she was to her daughter, how much of a good influence she was, even the ‘bad' parts of her, as Sam liked to tease the redhead about. They had grown and matured a lot in the last month, coming clean to Ruby about the intentions of their relationship, that still didn’t have a proper label, but they both were sure they liked each other a lot, there was no intention of finding someone else and only wanted to get those feelings steadier.

 

Ruby began sleeping at Alex’s apartment sometimes when Sam would be home late. Other times the three of them would fall asleep on the king-sized bed and would wake up a mess of sheets and laughter in the morning. Alex had already taken the girl to school before work, kissing the top of her head and wishing her a nice day. With Lena’s pregnancy, Sam was drowning in work and, logically, the agent was doing her best to take some responsibility off her plate. But now, that was different. Alex was on her way to solve a serious problem, representing someone responsible for the kid. She wasn't just aunt Alex, the woman who was dating Ruby’s mom, she was the other adult who took care of her.

 

The other mother.

 

Her heart skipped a beat and her stomach turned with anxiety. There had been a while since her last anxiety attack. Sam was helping her control it, by calming talks, hugs, and advice. Alex didn’t feel the need for alcohol in her blood anymore, she was able to avoid it and that was the main reason she was able to drive from the DEO to a school to figure a problem she had no clue what it was about. Alex took a deep breath, one time, two times, three times. Sam deserved her help, especially after everything. Especially because, if Alex’s suspicions were right, there was a huge reason why she wasn’t answering any calls.

 

“Ms. Danvers, please, have a seat” the principal, a serious, sturdy woman pointed to the chair next to Ruby. The girl averted her eyes, embarrassed, thinking Alex would like her less after this.

 

“What happened?” Alex asked right away and held the kid’s hands, making sure everything was fine.

 

“Ruby told me you and Ms. Arias are responsible for her, by the way, your number was included as an emergency contact,” she said, getting Alex by surprise “Ruby was involved in a fight today and if there’s something we do not tolerate is violence, for whatever reason.”

 

“A fight?” she turned to Ruby, who was still looking at the floor.

 

“Apparently, Richard, a boy from her class, made a mean joke about your relationship with Ms. Arias” the woman explained “Ruby had already complained about him before, he is a complicated kid and had the bad habit of teasing other children.

 

“What did he say?” Alex asked directly to Ruby.

 

“He said it was disgusting to have mothers and that I was so annoying no dad wanted to be with me,” she said quietly, “he said two women together.”

 

“And you hit him?” the girl nodded.

 

“His parents want to talk about it, but Samantha should be present” the principal took the word again “proper measures will be taken and Ruby will be suspended.

 

“She’s going to be suspended because a boy was homophobic and she stood up for herself?” Alex got defensive. Her blood was boiling and she didn't even understand where that protective instinct was coming from.

 

“Ms. Danvers, you need to understand that we don’t tolerate violence and..”

 

“What you need to understand, ma’am is that homophobia is a crime and Ruby does not deserve to be punished because of someone she already complained about to you” she was firm and dry “if his parents complain, I will take legal actions myself to solve this. I understand violence is not the answer but to let someone get away for clearly offending another person is unacceptable.”

 

Ruby half-smiled, she never thought this would be the outcome.

 

“Richard will get the punishment he deserves” the principal continued “but the parents…”

 

“The parents can talk to me whenever they want” Alex stood up, taking Ruby’s hand “get your things,” she said to the kid “thank you for letting me know about this, be sure Sam and I will be back to figure things out.”

 

The woman didn’t say anything else, well aware it wasn’t wise to discuss with angry parents. Alex walked outside and sighed with tension. How did that woman dare to punish someone who was just standing up for themselves? Also, that Richard deserved a good punch. But Alex would never admit it out loud. It wasn’t the first time Ruby got into trouble and not the first time she complained about that boy either. If his parents wanted to fight, Alex would show them what she was capable of, because no one would mess with her family and come out on top.

 

Alex turned to the girl next to her, who was still quiet, and took a deep breath, calming down. But maybe not so calm yet.

 

“How about we get some ice cream and you tell me exactly what happened?”

 

“Really? Aren’t you going to ground me or be angry?” Ruby asked.

 

“Oh, no you’re grounded” Alex smirked, “but let’s let your mom deal with the angry part.”

 

“You really scared the principal, I don’t think she’s going to call my mom anymore” she commented, excited “I thought you were going to hit her or kill her with your look.”

 

“I came close to it.”

 

“You’re the best aunt in the world!”

 

And so, the pain got in the car and headed to the ice cream shop. Alex needed to go back to the DEO and know how things looked after the mission. But she was scared of taking the girl and scaring her off, besides, she hadn’t even come clean with Sam about her real job. She wasn’t a real FBI agent, who dealt with serial killers or common criminals. She was part of a department that dealt with aliens, that protected them, and assured a peaceful coexistence with humans. Or at least tried, though it didn’t always work. Alex drove, lost in her thoughts, and allowed Ruby to get a large cup.

 

However, as they walked into the DEO and felt the freezing air on her face, all eyes turned to her. That’s when Alex realized there was more than one red cape in the room, more than one blue suit, and another pair of blue eyes. In fact, it was far more crowded than before.

 

“Superman?”

Chapter 22: Even If We Can't Find Heaven

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Alex’s brown eyes oscillated between the concerned figure of her sister to the taller one on her side, wearing the same red cape and finally to the woman next to the man of steel. Her long dark hair fell on her shoulders like waterfalls, matching her formal outfit. Though there weren't so many people there, like Alex first thought, she still felt suffocated and a bad feeling began to rise on her chest. Winn remained silent and J’onn was waiting for the right moment to speak. Ruby observed the strangers and continued to hold on to Alex’s hand, a little scared.

Something was telling her something bad was about to happen.

“Alex…” Kara spoke up “this is Lois Lane, chief reporter for the Daily Planet, from Metropolis and… Clark’s girlfriend.”

“What are they doing here?” Alex didn’t care about the woman, she just wanted to know the reason for their presence.

“Are you recruiting interns?” Lois pointed to Ruby and Alex rolled her eyes. When she met Lucy, the woman told her how insufferable Lois could be sometimes, not that Alex could take that too seriously, since Lucy and Lois did not get along “nice to meet you, agent Danvers” she said and Alex shot her a half-smile, Kara glared at her sister and asked quietly for her sister to behave.

“Why are you here?” Alex remained firm in her tone.

The agent understood Superman’s presence, though she still held some grudge on him, but Lois Lane? How could he bring her to a secret department without warning? Without asking for permission? What was her purpose here? Okay, she probably already knew about the DEO’s existence, but that didn’t change anything.

“We need to talk,” J’onn finally answered and pointed to the round table, where they could all sit down “Superman might be of help in the meta-human situation.”

When Supergirl walked beside her sister, she heard her whisper “what is she doing here?” and the hero raised her hands discreetly “I don’t know!” After all, she understood the reason why her cousin was there, but not his girlfriend. Alex told Kara she was right behind them and found herself alone with Ruby.

“Rubs, I need you to be here and do your homework,” Alex asked, pointing at a table “after all if your mom is going to be mad, let it be just about the fight and not late homework” she winked.

“But…”

“I helped you out, right?” the girl nodded yes “now I need you to help me out. Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah, but what about my mom?” she asked and Alex smiled and hugged the kid.

“I promise you she’s okay and we’re going to meet her for dinner, okay?” Alex assured her and Ruby smiled, trusting the woman wholeheartedly “now, homework. And if you have any doubts, we can finish it at home.”

While the girl made herself comfortable on the dark table the other adults left the room, going in deeper into the DEO and positioned themselves around the rounded table, paying attention to the giant computer screen on the center. Alex was eager to get an answer for her questions, which remained the same, she couldn’t stop looking at the ‘guests’ and feeling trouble coming. J’onn explained to Superman the situation they had faced a couple of weeks ago, discussing what the team figured out about that Hugo person, and explained that the radioactive trace was useless. Clark listened carefully, mentally taking note of some specific points and let Winn continue the explanation.

“Now tell us what happened” J’onn passed the word to Winn.

“Two months ago, one of the abandoned warehouses from Metropolis was robbed and then, three weeks ago, another one was vandalized too” Winn showed them the photos and Alex observed every detail from the places attentively. One of them was familiar to her and her heart raced “we didn’t quite understand the person’s intentions, not until the second warehouse was invaded. We brainstormed what could have been taken and pretty specific prototypes, chemical substances, and equipment were robbed.

“Why would someone invade a place like this?” Supergirl asked, frowning.

“Because they knew what was inside” Alex answered, receiving a nod from Superman “this wasn’t a common robbery, right?”

“Of course not” Lois took the word “I did some research and we found out both warehouses are under the name of the old Luthor-Corp, from the time Lex was still running it, which means…”

“It now belongs to L-Corp” Kara murmured, her head flooded with a million thoughts.

“Lena Luthor is the owner of the family’s empire, all of Lex’s possessions are, either under the name, or L-Corp’s name, which is practically the same” Lois completed and Alex already knew where that conversation was heading.

“There are only two people who are aware of those warehouses” Clark continued “Lilian Luthor, for sure, knew what her son was stocking in there. Also, we found a very similar material to the one found on your meta-human’s body and we brought a sample.”

“And you came all this away when you could just bring the sample in or come alone” Alex implied again, still worried by the undertones of that reunion.

“Lex didn’t just have chemical products and prototypes from his inventions” Lois answered, “what was stolen is far more dangerous than we thought.”

“And that is?” Winn cocked a brow.

"Alien DNA” J’onn explained “if it is compatible with the radiation samples, we can link one thing to the other. The timeline from the robberies and the meta-human disappearance fits, which means…”

“That Cadmus is behind this mess” Alex murmured and the team nodded in agreement “okay, but that doesn’t explain why you’re here.” she turned to Lois.

“We don’t know where Lilian is right now, but we do have Lena Luthor’s location” she pointed out “I need an exclusive interview with the Luthor heir, and well… the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

“Excuse me?” Alex, Winn, and Kara interrupted at the same time. Clark took a deep breath.

“I am a journalist and I’m going to seek the answer” Lane stated the obvious but Kara put on her serious face and crossed her arms “I know you understand it, Kara. Besides, I know you’re her best friend, you can get it for me.”

“You’re not getting anywhere near Lena” Alex was firm.

“And here we go” Winn groaned low. If one Danvers was a lot, two was too much.

“I’m sorry, Lois, but that is not going to happen” Supergirl sentenced “first of all, you should be the last person to judge someone by their last name.” Kara was aware of her father’s history “and second, I won’t allow it. Lena is part of our family and we protect each other, no matter what their name is. Superman might have jurisdiction on Metropolis but this is National City and we are not going to let outsiders barge in and falsely accuse someone just because they felt like it” J’onn had never seen the superhero so composed and yet so protective “I understand your reasons, Lois, but I don’t want to take it personally. So, I hope you understand and respect my decision, and I am asking this as a family” her breathing was heavy and deep “Lena is not answering any interview.”

“Kara you might now want to take it personally, but I do” Alex looked at the journalist's blue eyes “but lucky for you, I’m not related to her so I’m going to make this fast and clear. Lena is family, one of the best people I know and I could do anything to protect her” she stood her ground “if you want to keep insisting, that’s fine. You’re going to have to go through me and the whole Danver’s family. I hope you know what that means.”

“Lena is part of the House of El,” Kara said, looking at her cousin so he could understand the weight of the situation “And the House of El protects their own. Always.”

“You married a Luthor?” the disdain on Lois's face and voice were clear.

“No” Kara answered, “I had a daughter with her.”

Clark got confused and Lois's eyes shot wide open.

“Yeah… it seems that you’re going to have to find another way to find your answers” Winn smiled “luckily, I’m part of this family and my goddaughter is a Zor-El Luthor” he cheered, but no one joined in.

“Okay…” Lois sighed, giving in “how are we going to find out what Cadmus is up to?”

“First of all, we’re going to keep our suspicions to ourselves and try to find more information on the missing man. We already talked to his wife and some friends, and all we know is that he never came home after work one day” J’onn said and they all agreed “second of all, we have to find Lilian and try to find a way to track her. But, while we don’t succeed, Alex is going to test the samples you brought, and Kara, you’re going back home because you’re on maternity leave” Kara shot him a half-smile.

“Right” Alex nodded and dragged Winn to the lab with her, never taking her eyes off the journalist and the man of steel.

Supergirl talked to J’onn before leaving, reinforcing her need to keep Lois away from the mother of her daughter. The last thing Lena needed was someone bothering her about things she didn’t even know. Lizzie was taking all her time and energy, Kara had been with her almost twenty-four/seven the last months, keeping up with the pregnancy and spending time with Lena, eagerly waiting for Lizzie to be born. Now that they lived together, though it wasn’t like either of them pictured it, Kara knew Lena barely even had time to catch up with her company and work. Lena was putting her daughter first, never letting her out of sight and always checking if she was in pain or hungry.

Lena was a super mom and the true hero of that city.

Moreover, Samantha would never be reached out by Cadmus, Lilian wasn’t stupid, she didn’t know the CFO yet. And other problems were going on, problems that were directly related to her sister’s emotions. Something that that still hadn’t talked about but Kara knew her sister well and she knew something was wrong. Kara said goodbye to Lois, apologizing for the perhaps rudeness, and got a weak smile in return. Cark was still quiet, but as he saw her cousin walking out, he grabbed her arm gently and stared at her awkwardly. His blue eyes reminded Kara of her dad and were great remains from the House of El. Kara still remembered when he was a baby, wrapped under a red blanket and playing with the flying toys over the crib. Her aunt would be so proud of her son.

“Can we talk?” he asked and she nodded.

“Did something happen?” Kara asked suspiciously “you look… concerned.”

“Nothing that had to do with this situation right now,” he said quietly, knowing only his cousin would be able to listen “I wanted to apologize about Lois.”

That got Kara by surprise.

“She has a strong nature and can’t really accept the Luthors after… after all of Lex’s attempts on my life” he sighed “I’m not saying she is right to do it, I just want to ask you to be patient. Lois took my pains as her own, in an intense way and it might take a while for her to understand.”

“It’s okay, Kal” Kara assured and the man smiled at the mention of his real name. It was nice to listen to it from time to time “I just want you to understand my position too. Lena and I aren’t exactly on the best waters now, but we have a daughter and she is part of our family. Of your family. She needs to be protected just like Lena deserves to have peace.”

“May I know the name of the newest member of the house of El?” Supergirl smiled largely at the request.

“Lizzie” her cheeks flushed “Lizzie Luthor Zor-El”

“So we have a Luthor in the house” he joked “and you sure have a lot to tell me” he pulled Kara into a tight hug. One that she truly needed at the moment.

Oh, Rao. Should she tell him everything?

No, it was better not to. She would definitely skip some parts.

“It’s… a lot” she answered.

It was unusual to have such a calm and simple interaction such as that with her cousin. Many times she felt like she was truly the only one, that there was no other kryptonian like her, flying around in a blue suit and a red cape. It still hurt Kara not to have her cousin in her life, and her heart still ached with the feeling of abandonment, and every now and then took over her being. Clark was a good person, with a huge heart and all Kara could do was hope he would trust her word. That he would believe that Lena Luthor wasn’t like the rest of the Luthor family and that she was the owner of Kara’s heart.

What Kara didn’t want was for Clark to defy her. Because she wouldn’t hesitate to do anything to keep Lena and Lizzie safe.

 

***

 

Lena smiled, charmed by the baby in her arms, who fed off her, never looking away from her eyes or letting go of her thumb. The symptoms - for lack of a better name - of her daughter’s supernatural metabolism were becoming clearer. Lizzie had an uncontrollable hunger, which resulted in stomach aches and cramps because her body wasn’t ready for the amount of milk she was consuming. It might seem strange because Kara never experienced problems like that, but Alex informed them that, because Lizzie’s body wasn’t ready for her alien DNA yet, she was probably susceptible to diseases, like any normal child. Alex also added that Lizzie probably wouldn’t be invincible, like her other mom, but that would have to be tested in time.

But for now, the CEO didn’t care, she didn’t want to deal with that reality yet. She didn’t want to think of her fragile, defenseless girl, flying around and breaking things. For now, Lizzie was her baby and she needed 24/7 protection, something that Lena loved. However, the sleepless nights and endless crying were wearing her out, taking Lena’s last remaining energy to even stand up. Also, her hunger seemed to be never-ending, the diaper changes and cramps were the last straw for any chance of peace for Lena. To sum up: Neither Lena nor Kara and much less Lizzie were getting more than thirty minutes of sleep in the night. Lena couldn’t even take a long shower, one where she could enjoy the hot water and let the shampoo stream down her hair. Eating was almost an impossible task and if it weren’t for Kara’s help, who always cooked her breakfast, Lena would be withering.

Besides, living with her ex-girlfriend was a painful experience. Lena tried her best to ignore how much she missed her hugs, her smell, her kisses. Her heart begged for proximity and ached, wishing for Kara to be back. But, a lot had changed and Lena wasn’t ready to forgive her. Only the thought about that mess made her head hurt. It was exhausting to think about other things besides her daughter. That would have to wait, Kara would have to wait. Looking at her blue eyes and finding them so opaque, so lifeless, was terrifying. Lena was well aware she was also suffering and shouldering the consequences of her lie. Or her secret, whatever it was.

Lena looked at Lizzie again and noticed how blue her eyes were becoming over the days, looking very similar to her mother’s. She was fucked, utterly fucked. The newborn features were starting to vanish and slowly letting Lizzie’s true features appear. Her nose was identical to Kara’s, but her lips were just like Lena’s. Lizzie wasn’t a big baby, she was born with a normal height - but Lena wondered if she would end up as tall as her other mother, or if her hair - still thin and sparse - would develop perfect waves. Lena’s hair wasn’t entirely straight, being honest, but they didn’t compare with the strands from the girl of steel.

Lena leaned on the sofa, putting a hand over her head, and closed her eyes, letting some peace and quiet flood her chest. Life might not be perfect now and maybe it would never be perfect for her. But, she would do the possible and impossible to make it perfect for her daughter. Maybe she would never date Kara again, maybe they would manage to become friends again or just share the girl’s custody in a healthy way. Those were just details and it was too soon to wonder about them, Lena preferred to just make her heart accept it couldn’t have all it wanted. She had to get used to the fact it was going to be just her and Lizzie, no matter how much it hurt.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door, making Lena frown, turning around, and trying to remember who she had called up. Lizzie let go of her breast and got attentive, using her super hearing - the first power to manifest itself - and trying to understand what was going on.

“I think we have guests” Lena whispered, changing her position so she could burp “we haven’t even put you in your best outfits, Liz.”

As Lena opened the door, she found a familiar, loving figure standing up, with blond hair and tender blue eyes.

“Eliza!” she smiled and the older woman embraced her carefully “baby, look who’s here to see you” Lena showed Lizzie “it’s grandma!”

“Hello, little one!” Eliza smiled largest and Lena gave her to her arms, smiling at the interaction “how are you, darling?”

“Okay,” Lena yawned and pointed to the couch.

“Lena, darling, you don’t have to pretend for me” Eliza pointed out, fixing her granddaughter on her arms and sitting down.

“I don’t want to sound ungrateful, because Lizzie is undoubtedly a great kid and I love her so much” Lena was quick to explain “but I just wanted to get a little more sleep, take a shower a little longer…”

Eliza laughed and held Lena’s hand. The bags under her eyes were noticeable, her skin was paler and she looked like she needed days of sleep. It was hard to find the Luthor scruffy, even at home, or at an informal event. She was always flawless, but now, her clothes were far from showing someone in power and her usual CEO posture. She was wearing a pajama button-up shirt, to make breastfeeding easier, she was also avoiding using bras because her chest was still sore. Besides, Lena was wearing sweatpants and socks, her hair tied up in a messy bun.

The CEO never looked so much like a twenty-five years old woman, with dreams and aspirations as now. Lena looked like a normal girl, just confused and tired.

“It doesn’t mean that you regret being a mother because you feel like that” Eliza’s voice sounded like a fresh breeze “we’re only human, Lena, with limitations and obstacles. The first months are draining and are going to take a lot of strength and patience from you. There's nothing wrong with wanting some time” Lena nodded, eyes tearing up “Kara told me Lizzie had been having cramps and eating a lot, so I’m here.”

“What do you mean?” Lena cocked a brow.

“I mean that you can go take your long shower, take a nap if you want to, while I enjoy my favorite granddaughter all to myself” she winked, making Lena laugh.

“Oh, there’s no need” she felt bad for venting. Lena was capable of handling her daughter, she was sure “Kara is going to be here anytime, there was just something she needed to do at the DEO.”

“C’mon, Lizzie is already full and if you don’t start limiting her, she’ll never stop eating” Eliza stressed. She remembered how her daughter used to be and the way she always regulated Kara’s eating habits. She would have gone broke in less than a year otherwise “also, now I get to have her all to myself, without Alex or anyone else to compete for her attention for. It’s a pretty positive point.”

“Okay” Lena chuckled, awkwardly “thank you, truly.”

“It’s no problem, darling. I’m your family now and family is always there for each other.

Family. Lena sighed. It was always strange and completely amazing, at the same time, to listen to that word said in a true manner.

“Call me if you need anything,” Lena said “I’ll take the shower offer but I can sleep once Kara gets back.”

“Do as you wish.”

The scent of bath salts soon mixed up and flooded the room with a smell of citric fruits and chamomile. Lena couldn’t even remember the last time she had gotten into a bathtub, because in the last months of pregnancy, her back complained if she stayed sitting for too long. Lena took off her clothes and studied her reflection in the mirror, noticing that her apparent belly was already disappearing. In fact, in those two weeks after her daughter's birth, Lena had almost lost all weight she had gained. The feelings were mixed and it was crushing. At the same time that she missed it, Lena was grateful for being able to hold Seedy in her arms.

Or course Kara had to keep calling her that.

Lena spent goof long minutes stretched in the bath, enjoying the hot water caressing her body, dissolving her muscle tension, and relaxing her thoughts. She could finally wash her hair slowly and finally finished her skincare routine. Lena left the shower a brand new person, putting on a more presentable outfit, though still very comfortable, and returned to the living room, to find Eliza in the kitchen, preparing some snacks while Lizzie was in her carrying basket, looking at her grandmother. The smell of eggs and bacon made Lena’s stomach roar.

“How did you manage to get her so quiet?” Lena walked to the balcony and kissed the little Luthor’s pinkish cheek “you just want a piece of bacon, don’t you” she whispered and tickled her belly, getting a marvelous smile in return “my little kryptonian” she murmured.

“Sit down and eat, there’s no use breastfeeding Lizzie if you’re not eating correctly,” Eliza said, setting the table “Lizzie needs the nutrients you eat, also it isn’t hard to keep her calm.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that,” Lena confessed, upset.

“I’m going to teach you something,” Eliza said in front of her “being a mom means constant learning, I have a lot more practice so I know what to do. But that doesn’t mean I’m better than you, or better for Lizzie” she put on some toasts and juice “first, you have to create some limits for her. It’s not healthy to eat the amount she does and she’s not going to starve if you give her one hour and a half breaks. Kara was just like that when she arrived.”

“And how… how did you do that?” Lena pictured a thirteen-year-old blonde girl, lost and completely starved “it must have been complicated.”

“And it was, I’m not going to lie” she answered “Kara was an orphan girl, with superpowers and everything was unknown. The planet, the habits, the culture, the people. However, it was through limits and helping her understand them that I managed to teach her what she needed to know” Lena smiled weakly. It was still hard to think of Kara like that, so fragile, so alone “anyway, I don’t think I’m supposed to say those things.”

“I’m sorry” Lena sighed.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, I’m not here to lecture you or to defend my daughter” she smiled “things are going to fix themselves with time.”

Lizzie then groaned, the beginning of her crying and Lena turned to Eliza.

“There have only been forty minutes since she fed, do you want to try?” Eliza asked and Lena sighed. It was a little despairing to listen to her baby cry, but she always cherished control and rules. Lizzie needed to understand a limit for everything.

They continued to talk, Lizzie didn’t stop groaning and crying sheepishly, leaving her mother with an aching heart. Suddenly, the crying stopped and Lizzie’s blue-greyish eyes focused.

“Kara is here,” Lena said simply as if it was a common thing. And for her, it was indeed. Eliza frowned, confused “Lizzie always knows when she’s home or coming from the balcony.

A breathless, exasperated blonde ran to the kitchen as she heard her daughter cry. Lizzie raised her complaining tones, knowing she would be able to convince her other mother. Kara, still dressed as Supergirl, held the girl and rocket her carefully.

“Lena, she’s hungry!” Eliza scoffed at her daughter and the Luthor rolled her eyes. Of course, mother and daughter would be the same “why didn’t you feed her?”

“Lizzie isn’t hungry” Lena pointed out “your daughter is just gluttonous.”

Kara was offended for her daughter, of course.

“Don’t worry, Seedy, yeyu is going to get us food and we’re not going to call anyone, right?” Kara kissed her cheeks and Lizzie stopped crying “you are so cute and so… ugh!” Kara noticed the smell coming from her underpants, grimacing and holding her daughter a little farther from herself. Eliza snorted and tried to comfort Kara, who didn’t seem to understand how someone so tiny could do something so smelly.

“It’s your little gift for yeyu, isn’t it baby girl?” Lena provoked “I think someone needs a shower.

“Well, now that my granddaughter has both mothers, I’m off to finish some work and pick Ruby up” Eliza got up and put the dishes on the sink “be well, all of you” she kissed all of them and left.

Once again, the Luthor-Danvers family was alone and would have to ignore their pain again, take care of their daughter and go on with their days. The two women headed to the room, painted in delicate shades of pink and blue. Kara laid Lizzie on the crib and took some pictures. She still remembered putting the crib together, the shelves, buying the red light fixture, the teddy bears, and toys. She remembered the anxiety of meeting Seedy for the first time.

“At least the smell isn’t on the photos” Kara joked, squeezing the baby’s belly.

“Can you take off her clothes and diaper while I get the bath ready and some clean clothes?” Lena said while tying her hair up. Kara lost herself for a few seconds, admiring Lena’s everlasting beauty, desperately wanting to embrace her. She missed Lena so much it was consuming her heart.

“S-sure…” Kara swallowed the nostalgia in her throat.

Lena stopped halfway and looked at Kara, noticing she was seconds away from falling apart. Lena knew her well, her own heart felt her pain as if they were one, destined to always feel one another. However, Lena didn’t have the strength to break her own rules right now, she didn’t have the guts to hold her in her arms and tell her she missed them two. Lena ignored her thoughts and drowned the feelings in her chest.

“Do you want to try bathing her?” Kara didn’t know what to answer, the fear of doing something wrong went up to her throat “Kara?”

“I-I’ve never… never done that” she sighed “what if I hurt Lizzie with my strength? What if I…” Kara closed her eyes. Lena watched as the other woman tried to fight her tears and the red glow in her eyes. Since Lizzie was born, that became more frequent “what if I do something… horrible?”

Lena sighed, remembering the other times that happened and Kara had simply run away. The first time was at nighttime. The guest room wasn’t far from Lena’s and she heard the screaming, the muttering and she knew something was wrong. She was up, feeding Lizzie, and all that she felt was a quick brush of air and a glimpse of the red cape on the air. The other time was when Kara faced any challenge regarding her daughter. Lena didn’t understand why her eyes would burn and glow red like that, Kara had control, so why was she running? But then, one day when Lizzie was crying in pain, Lena needed Kara to hold her for a few moments. However, the despair and her face and fear of doing something wrong, made her eyes burn in neon red.

“Open your eyes” Lena approached her carefully “please, open your eyes.”

“No” she sobbed.

The fear starved as ever. Each power was controlled by a different emotion, as Eliza and Jeremiah figured out, the first they noticed it was when Kara began flying. She was so happy about visiting the beach after days locked in the house because of heavy rain that she began floating and hit the ceiling. The ability to fly was the second to last power to show, the last one was the freezing breath. However, the heat vision was one of the first and it would burn her eyes during nightmares. All it took was Kara remembering Krypton, her parents, the phantom zone, and the claustrophobic feeling of the pod that her eyes would glow. Fear.

It was only when Kara was terrified that it would happen. And at the moment, she was dealing with a whirlwind of emotions, her brain and heart fighting a war against each other, revoking any kind of control she learned to have. Lena couldn’t go back to square one, she couldn’t lose her path now. That’s when Kara felt cold hands hold her face and everything seemed to disappear. Like light, pushing the shadows away. Like someone, keeping her from falling over a cliff again.

“Kara, open your eyes” the sweet voice hit her sensitive super hearing fully, and suddenly she felt the heat against her eyelids vanish “you’re not going to hurt anyone. I trust you.”

Little by little, blue met green and Kara felt the cold tears stream down her face. She took a deep breath.

“Better?” Neither of them dared to move. But Lizzie groaned and squirmed, impatient because of the dirtiness, popping her mothers' fragile bubble.

“Thank you” Kara murmured and scoffed, nervous.

“Get changed and, if you want to, put your glasses on” Lena didn’t request the cover-up anymore, it wasn’t any good thinking it would make things better. But Kara preferred to wear them and Lena didn’t quite understand why “I’m going to help you with the bath, okay?”

Kara nodded and in a matter of seconds she was in more comfortable clothes and the familiar glasses were resting over her nose, hiding her fears behind the lens. While Lena turned the water on, Kara took her daughter out of her clothes, and the dirty diaper - trying not to grimace with disgust - and cleaned her up. She could still feel Lena’s hand on her face, just like her words still resonating in her mind.

I trust you.

Kara’s entire body missed being near her, it was almost like her soul was empty, when in fact it was just incomplete. Lizzie squirmed in her arms and started crying, making her heartbeat race. Usually, the person who calmed the little girl down was Lena, with her patience and insurmountable love. Not that Kara never did it, because she had a warmth and almost angelical care for her daughter. However, at certain moments, Kara panicked, thinking she wouldn’t be able to fix it for herself, for calming Lizzie down and helping her the right way. Lena always seemed to know, or understand, why the girl was complaining. Kara thought it was definitely some kind of superpower. But she never felt so powerless as now.

“She’s crying” Kara murmured, worried, looking at the other woman with supplicant eyes “I think...she’s in pain,” she noticed how she was retracting her legs, a usual movement for when she had cramps.

“First of all, breathe,” Lena said calmly “you need to show her we’re here to help” Kara nodded, holding the little naked body “lay her on your chest and touch her belly as this” Lena demonstrated. Lizzie had her body glued to her mother’s and her head leaned on her chest. In no time, the crying decreased and she relaxed. Lena was slowly tracing her back while trying to keep both Kara and her daughter under control.

“H-how… how?” Kara looked at the Luthor.

“Your body temperature is hotter than hers and that calms her down” Lena explained “I noticed that it happened every time you put her to sleep” she sighed “she needs you, Kara. You’re a safe harbor for her, not a dangerous one. Always remember that.”

With her heart weighing on her chest, Kara swallowed the feelings obstructing her throat again and fought the stubborn tears. Lena trusted her. Lizzie saw safety in her.

And that was all that mattered.

 

***

 

After picking up Ruby with her mother, Alex took her to her apartment, where she was going to check the history and science homework the girl was having a hard time at. Then, she was going to clean the mess of three puppies and feed them. They still lived with her and would keep living there until Lena got her whole life together and sorted it out. For now, Alex just enjoyed it, because having her home crowded wasn’t a particularly bad thing, though she missed the silence. Ruby and Sam were there all the time, sleeping and eating as they all lived at the same place. It didn’t even look like they were just dating for a few months. Alex had gotten used to coming home to her girlfriend sitting on the couch and Ruby lying on the carpet, playing with Agnes, who observed her kids, though they weren’t so little anymore.

And a lot of times, it was Alex who spent the week at Sam’s home, bringing her things and noticing they fit perfectly on the spare drawer in the closet. The feeling of belonging to something, of being part of a family was something that scared her and at the same time filled her heart with flaming hope. It was genuine happiness. However, some things bothered Alex and concerned her deeply. Who was she trying to fool, Reign wasn’t anonymous, she wasn’t a random lady dressed in a black suit and a mask to fight crime. Those red eyes. Alex could recognize them anywhere, even though the ‘hero’ kept denying it.

Ruby finished off her homework and went for a shower, while Alex ordered dinner in one of her favorite places. Sam still hadn’t called back or answered her texts. Which was very odd. Alex’s breathing pace only calmed down when the front door slammed and a tired woman in a pantsuit sighed.

 

“Sam! God, I was worried!” Alex exclaimed and got up to get her things. She looked tired and confused “what happened? I called you so many times…”

“I don’t… I don’t know…” Sam confessed and they walked to the couch, she immediately lied her head on Alex’s lap “I’m sorry…”

“Hey, there’s nothing to be sorry for. I just thought something bad could have happened” Alex explained tenderly, playing with the long brown hair “hey… why are you crying?” she pulled her closer and Sam’s body melted over hers, tired and tense.

She let Sam and put the weight she was carrying out of her body. She knew what it was like to feel suffocated on unsaid words.

“I’m so-sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you, but, Alex…” she sobbed and felt the arms around her body hold her even tighter “Alex, I don’t remember anything… I woke up and I was in a different place and I… I don’t even remember leaving L-Corp” Sam sighed, letting the redhead dry the insistent tears “something is… very wrong…”

“Breath, baby” Alex nodded and began breathing in and out, as her girlfriend slowly imitated her “I know something is happening, something neither I or you understand, but for now, let’s just calm down and eat dinner. You must be exhausted and in need of a hot bath.” Sam smiled. She had never been so taken care of by another person.

“I love you so much, Alex,” Sam suddenly confessed, “it may sound rushed but I want you to know that I really love you.”

Alex let that confession sink on her chest, feeling those three words being written down on her soul. A person miles away would be able to hear her heart racing heartbeat clearly.

“I love you too, Sam” Alex put her lips on hers, not letting her doubt her feelings for one second “but we have to talk about something.”

“I saw Ruby’s school’s missed calls” Sam murmured in her lips “what did she do this time?” the redhead snorted.

“I didn’t do anything and aunt Alex knows it” Ruby walked in, her hair dripping from the shower and already wearing pajamas “and I’m hungry.”

“Sit down, lady” Sam said seriously and Ruby knew there was no point in arguing or making excuses “I want to know exactly what happened.”

“Can’t we eat first?” Ruby tried to persuade her with a pout “just a little bit?”

“Ruby Arias” Sam crossed her eyes and Alex struggled to keep a straight face.

“Okay, I hit a boy because he was a dumbass and the director didn’t like it because she’s a dumbass too,” Ruby grumbled.

“Don’t talk like that” Sam corrected her “was this the same boy?” she nodded, as her mother sighed, not knowing what to do “what did he say this time?”

“He was just a jerk, mom…” she sighed, not wanting to tell. Alex smiled, accomplice.

“We’re going to go back there to sort this out, this boy truly is a jerk and his parents must learn that discrimination is a crime” Alex spoke “he made a comment about our relationship and said something about Ruby not having a dad. I don’t think it is fair for her to be punished since she had already complained about this Richard kid.”

“You’re right” Sam agreed but regained her posture “but Ruby, no matter what problem you’re dealing with, you can’t solve it with violence. Violence is never going to be the answer” she explained tenderly “when something like this happened, you can call me. You’re still too young to figure this out on your own and you don’t have to be alone. I’m here to protect you, always” she smiled.

“I’m here too if you want me” Alex added and kissed the girl's head, who was now sitting between them “and you can always call me like you did today. You just don’t have to punch people, no matter how fun it is” she winked.

“Alex!” Sam reprimanded and Ruby snorted loudly.

“I’m going to be grounded too” she joked and Sam rolled her eyes at her childishness “I’m going to go take a shower, you two pick a movie.”

“Okay, aunt Alex” Ruby smiled and they watched as the redhead disappeared down the hall. They exchanged a look and Sam instinctively knew her daughter had something to say. Something serious “mom, I need you to help me with something, but you have to pinky promise me you’re not going to tell aunt Alex. Promise?”

“What is it?”

“Promise?” Ruby raised her pinky and Sam smiled, raising hers.

“Promise.”

 

***

 

At the weekend, Lena got Lizzie ready for her first ‘day out’ since she had arrived home. She hadn’t gone out ever since, thinking it was dangerous and the baby might get sick. Sure, Lizzie was kryptonian, but since her powers hadn’t manifested yet, Lena wasn’t going to count on the luck of her daughter having a super metabolism to protect her from human disease. Also, Alex warned her that, due to her mix of alien and human DNA, they didn’t know if Lizzie would be immune to every, or any, disease. So, Lena avoided premature strolls and kept her in the safeness of the apartment, where the mothers were always attentive to any sign of trouble and danger. But, so it happens that, between the two mothers, Kara was the most paranoid.

That afternoon, they went to the DEO. It wasn’t quite a day out if you stopped to think about it. In fact, Lena and Kara were on their way to register their daughter as belonging to the alien class, so the department’s alarm or any other agent or government organ wouldn’t consider her an unknown presence. It was the right protocol to follow and, as from this day on, Lizzie would also be a Zor-El, for her yeyu’s happiness, that she couldn’t stop smiling in the car while they crossed the town to the building that hid her sister’s workplace so well. Neither woman dared to break the silence, only focusing on the girl’s calm breathing and the fast figures going by the window.

All agents stopped to greet the Luthor-Zor-El family as soon as they stepped into the DEO. Many agents, who had congratulated Lena’s pregnancy, wanted to see Supergirl’s daughter’s little face. And, of course, she was a celebrity. The comments went from the cute way she was asleep to people affirming she was the perfect mixture of her mothers. The blue eyes and nose from Supergirl and the Luthor’s dark hair and lips. Lena had never felt so happy to know her daughter was accepted and everybody in there would protect her. J’onn smiled accomplice, holding his ‘granddaughter’ - as Kara liked to tease him - a little awkwardly. However, they both insisted and he finally had her right in his arms, feeling his eyes tear up as he remembered his own daughters and not being able to contain the joy of seeing his found daughter, Kara Danvers, building her own family.

But the peaceful and joyful atmosphere was over once a red cape figure walked in, accompanied by a beautiful woman with clear blue eyes.

“Hey!” Kara greeted, excited, her cousin and his girlfriend “I thought you had already left.”

“We’re still waiting for the result of the radioactive trace analysis” he answered and turned to the CEO. Lois just observed her carefully.

“How rude of me” Kara face-palmed her forehead “Lena, this is my cousin…”

“Clark Kent” Lena interrupted, surprising all of them “of course, I already knew, since the first time you showed up with him two years ago.”

“Oh…” that’s all she managed to say.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Ms. Luthor” Clark shook her hand cordially “congratulations on your daughter.”

“Thank you, and please, call me Lena” she responded politely, Lena would hate to see Superman look at her as if she was the next one in line to go insane. It was still strange to have him there, smiling and being polite when Lex had tried to end his life at least more than twice now “I think I remember you” she turned to the woman next to him, who shot her a half-smile.

“Lois Lena, the chief reporter from the Daily Planet in Metropolis” she put her hand out “you must remember me because…”

“Because you were the one responsible for publishing an exclusive article on my brother’s arrest a few years ago, the same person who tried to get an interview with my mother and me” Lena cut her off, crossing her arms and cocking a brow. But now shooking the hand in front of her.

“Right” Lois answered rather proudly “I wish I could still get that interview.”

“Lois!” Kara exclaimed, looking at her cousin as if asking for backup “we didn’t come here for this.”

“You can hardly blame me for trying, she is a Luthor after all and everyone in Metropolis would love to know what happened to the sister of the infamous Lex Luthor” there was acid dripping from her word but Lena didn’t let it get to her.

“I’m sure that you can come up with better news than writing about recycled subjected” the CEO in her took over and J’onn, who still had the baby in his arms, just glanced over to Winn, waiting for the discussion to be over “certainly the world needs more development on many areas but gossip isn’t one of them, Ms. Lane. I thought the Daily Planet worked with important news, not one with personal issues from the writers' part” she pointed out, gladly watching the other woman step back “and no, you’re not getting anything from me. Not one single word.”

“I’m sure no one is going to ask again, Lena” Clark intervened “I’m sorry about this, we’re just trying to move on” he turned to Lois “no grudges or unfinished business.”

“Grudges” Lois laughed sarcastically “why can’t you just accept she is mad like the rest of that family.”

“Be very careful on what you say” Kara stepped forward, in front of Lena “I didn’t take part in this out of respect for my cousin’s relationship but I won’t tolerate you offending my family” Lena, Winn, and J’onn were startled by the hero’s angry reaction “if you keep this up, I’ll have to ask you to leave and never come back.”

“Lois, enough.” Superman sighed, not knowing what to do. He understood Lois’s grudge on the Luthor family, she loved him and wanted to protect him. During all those years, she began feeling his pains, though he had already worked out most of them. Not all, but almost. Of course, trusting Lena Luthor was out of the question, but Kara was his cousin, his family and in her, he trusted.

If Kara was saying Lena wasn’t like Lilian or Lex, then he believed her word. It was enough for Clark.

“What if it's going on here?” Alex walked in suddenly, crossing her arms. She observed how Clark was almost standing in front of Lois and Kara was in a defensive posture regarding Lena. The tense situation was palpable “I hope this isn’t that subject.”

“Of course not” Kara answered ironically and Winn frowned.

When was Kara ever ironic?

He was shaking.

“Okay, Lena comes with me to finish my goddaughter's register and take her off J’onn’s arms because I want to hold her,” Winn said, trying to lessen the tension.

“Is it going to take long?” Lena asked impatiently, turning around and taking Lizzie back “I don’t want to be in a hostile environment” she shot a glare at Lois.

“I promise to be as fast as possible” he smiled and so they left the room.

“Kara, I need to talk to you,” Alex asked, but Kara seemed to be in another state of mind. The agent noticed how her eyes were watery, reddened, and tired. It wasn’t being easy for her and it was awful to fight with her cousin like that.

Kara didn’t hate him, but it still hurt to remember he had left her and didn’t even bother to be a part of her life. And now, he just showed up, bringing his girlfriend and letting her attack someone that was important to Kara, who was the owner of her heart. She never judged or said anything about his relationship with the journalist, it was his business, not hers. But, Clark seemed to think the opposite, and Kara was not going to let him play the hero in her city, trying to protect his cousin when he should have done that ten years ago. Kara wouldn’t allow anyone to offend her family, even if it came to facing Superman on the battlefield.

Alex pulled her sister to one of the empty interrogation rules, seeing that Clark was divided between defending his girlfriend and defending her cousin. Though Alex understood his position, the grudge and anger she had, since her sister refused to have them, spoke louder than reason. Alex was more like Lois than she would like to accept, but the circumstances were entirely different. Lois didn’t even know Lena and it was unfair to put her in the same stance as the other Luthors just because she was adopted by the wrong family. At first, Alex also had doubts, she was also scared, but it was her protective instinct to talk. However. Lena proved to be a lot more than Alex thought of her and now the agent would defend her to death if it came to it.

Just like she would kill to assure Lizzie’s safety. They were family and Alex was capable of anything for them.

“Kara, breathe,” Alex asked, stroking her arms and staring deep into her eyes “please.”

“A-Alex…” she sobbed “did you see how Lena was” Kara dried her face with her sleeve “d-did you see… how I didn’t… didn’t even get to hug her and tell her I trust her, that… that s-she…” she sighed. The anxiousness was tearing her chest apart “she is everything to me, Alex…”

Not thinking twice, Alex pulled the younger woman to a tight embrace, familiar with the pain of losing someone you love so abruptly. She let Kara embed her shirt with tears and hide her face on her neck. In times like these, all Alex wanted to do was take Kara away from the world and take all the pain from her heart. But she couldn’t, though she wished it with all her being. Kara had to go through that to grow, to think about her future decisions better, and understand that every action has consequences, no matter how painful those are. So, Alex waited patiently for her to calm down and her breathing to go back to normal. She would stand there for hours, just holding her tight.

“Calm down,” she asked quietly, stroking her back firmly but tenderly “just breathe.”

“What am I going to do? Lena is going to hate me even more after this, Clark knew things weren’t great and he didn’t even bother to talk to Lois about it!” she exclaimed angrily “he… he doesn’t…” she sighed “I want him to leave…” she murmured, the guilt of wishing something like that weighing on her slowly.

“As soon as the results are out, I’m going to ask J’onn to send him away, okay?” Alex assured and the blonde nodded “I’ll do my best to get the samples done by the end of the day.”

“Okay…I just think between me and Lena to be fine” she whispered and Alex sighed “this… hurts so much, so much…”

“Do you want my opinion or is it better for me to be quiet?” Alex asked carefully “maybe it will be good for you to hear it, maybe it. It’s tough love…”

“I want you to say it” their eyes met finally. Alex had never seen the blue so opaque, so faint. That pain was taking over her and soon would be everywhere. Kara was the sunshine of that family, but now she looked like the shadow of the happy girl she used to be.

“Right” Alex took a deep breath and pulled a chair. They sat down, in front of each other and the agent held her sister’s hands “Kara, at some point, you should’ve told her. I don’t blame you, because all I did, all the team did was tell you to keep your secret. Not only that, but it led all of us, especially me, to put too much faith on Lena’s plate. I understand why she was so hurt, considering how close you two became and mostly because you now have a daughter” Alex pointed out, never losing the warmth on her tone “we all bring baggage to a new relationship, Kara. And with you, that baggage is the weight of the world. All you do is save everyone, all the time. You’re amazing as Supergirl and everyone loves Supergirl. Lena loved you as Kara. I imagine that felt great…” she nodded.

“It’s amazing how well you know me, Alex…:

 

“Kara, Lena also had a lot of baggage, and please let me finish this. I’m not criticizing her, I’m just trying to figure this out with you. She had a bit of the weight of the world on her shoulders too. I see it now she is desperately trying to make up for all that Lex did. I don’t think Lena has ever been fully trusted by anyone” Alex smiled “she believed in you and, in her eyes, you didn't believe in her. For another person, it might be easy to overcome that, but I think that for her it's especially painful. I’m pretty sure she felt like she put herself out there just to be stricken down again. She expected that Lizzie’s mom, the other mother, would be completely sincere and would help her to overcome the burden that now became a gift. Lizzie needs you, more than that” she squeezed her hands “Lena needs you and she needs all parts of you to be together as one. She needed Kara and Supergirl” she sighed “and you took half of yourself away from her.”

Kara felt a single tear fall again.

“Honey, I think that if you want her back, you have to open up completely. You have to show her how much you trust her. I know you don’t like talking about your past, about Krypton and your childhood…” she sighed again “you don’t even talk about it with me. But if you want Lena back, I think you need to let her know you” Alex smiled “you need to let her know Kara Zor-El.”

Still silent, they hugged each other and Supergirl was sure she would be nothing without her older sister. Her personal hero.

 

***

 

On the other side of the hallway, Lena was waiting for Winn to finish getting the paper both she and Kara would have to sign. Lizzie had fallen asleep and breathed peacefully in her arms. However, Lena’s mind wandered far away, with the journalist's words replaying in her head, but soon being defeated by the anger and boldness of Kara’s words. Lena had never seen her so chaotic, so ready to cross a dangerous line. She could see the fire beneath her always warm and calming eyes. Though she wasn’t able anymore, Lena swore she could hear her desperate heartbeat. And then she knew Kara wouldn’t hold back to defend her like she always did.

And that was what hurt the mort. To know she missed it, that Kara hadn't changed, but the pain of the lie, of being kept in the dark for so long even though all she needed was light, was what kept Lena from dealing with her ex-girlfriend. Kara deserved a chance of explaining herself, Lena just didn’t want it to be now. It would be too much, she couldn’t take it. Lizzie needed all of her attention, she couldn’t offer her a broken mother, a mom with a destroyed self. So, she swallowed dry and took a deep breath.

“Lena, I know there’s something wrong,” Winn said quietly, because of the sleep goddaughter “you know you can talk to me, right?”

Winn could see the tears rising up in her eyes and wondered if he crossed a line, but Lena recomposed herself and began to talk.

“Winn, the problem is about Kara and you two were friends long before I was in the picture. I’m not sure if it’s right for me to talk about her with you.”

“Lena, Kara is like a sister to me. She means the world to me and I like to believe I know her as much as anyone else. I hate how miserable you two are” he sighed but smiled and the sight of Lizzie wrinkling her nose “maybe I could give you a little perspective if you tell me what’s going on. I promise that whatever you say it’s going to stay between us, I just want to help.

“Winn, all that time Kara and I spent together, all those months. Alex was with Maggie and Kara and I was together. Our friendship was really important to me. I know Kara had plenty of close friends in her life and I had other friends, but never someone like her” Lena looked down and slowed her voice, as if containing herself so she wouldn’t break “I really thought she believed in me, I thought she trusted me, but she never told me. She never told me who she really was” Lena was having a hard time keeping calm as stubborn tears escaped her eyes “I needed her, maybe if it weren’t for the pregnancy I would just feel a little upset and would tie to my last name, but it's more than that. There was a kid involved, I was… I was broken and she was my safeness, my fortress. I gave her all of me, I was clear and Kara couldn’t have the decency to tell me the truth, letting me feel guilty for having a bond with someone that I didn’t love. That’s the truth, Winn. I love her” she confessed, holding a sob back “I love her so much and I never got to say it out loud because I was scared of losing her. But what do I have now?” Winn reached for her hand, holding it “I didn’t say it back when she confessed it for the first time and now I don’t know if I ever will” Lena was sincere, though it was breaking her heart “I don’t know how to get past this, Winn.”

Winn waited for Lena to calm down a little before responding to her.

“Lena, do you miss Kara?”

“God, yes! I miss her so much” she answered.

“Okay, do you want to find a way to move on with her back in your life?” he was direct.

“I think so. I’m scared, Winn. I’m so scared of getting hurt again” she sighed “and I can’t make that mistake, I can’t drag Lizzie into this. She comes first.”

At that moment, Winn embraced her. He simply couldn’t hold back any longer. He was happy as he felt Lena relax in her arms and hug him back. After a few moments, he stepped back, observing Lizzie sigh, lost in her dreams.

“Lena, you need to stop pushing Kara away. the more you rebuild this wall between you two, the harder it will be for Kara to knock it down” he pointed out “I know that there is a child now, I can’t say I get how it feels but I do my best to understand. Kara loved you two and I’m sure she is thinking all her moves twice now because she cares too much to make the same mistake again.”

Lena nodded slightly.

“Listen, if there’s one thing I’m 100% sure of, is that the reason why Kara didn’t tell you about Supergirl isn’t that she didn’t believe or trusted you” he looked at her “I mean, Lena, I wish you could hear the way she talks about you when you’re not around. Lena, Kara believes in you more than she believes in herself. A lot more. I don’t know why she didn’t tell you, but I do know that ever since she arrived on Earth, she was taught to never share about her powers with anyone” Winn moved his hands while talking, reminding Lena of a certain blonde that used to do the same. The resemblance made her smile “Damn, Lena, I’m the only person Kara has ever told and I honestly think it was because she would explode if she didn’t have anyone to talk about it at that time.”

Winn sighed with the memory of that day. It felt so distant and yet seemed like it was yesterday.

“Lena, Alex knows because she’s part of the Danvers family. James knows because of Superman, not because Kara told him. J’onn knows because of Jeremiah. Oh, and Maggie found out but it wasn’t Kara’s fault” he giggled, remembering the cop “all her life, Kara was told that whoever knows her secret, is in danger. It was rooted in her ever since the first day she got here. She hid her powers for a long time. I’m not sure if she would be Supergirl today if Alex’s plane hadn't almost crashed” Winn didn’t like remembering that.

“Alex was on the first plane she rescued” Lena questioned, her eyes were wide open “no wonder why she did it.”

“Yeah, and it was that same day she came to me and told me who she was. Kara had to literally jump off a building to convince me. I almost passed out.” Winn noticed Lena was smiling a little now “Lena, I had known her for years and had no idea she had powers. But it wasn’t because she didn’t trust me. She always tries to do what is best for others, not what’s best for herself. I’m sure she thought keeping Supergirl from you was the right thing to do. I mean, she was wrong, I think she was wrong. At some point, she should have told you. But I think she was doing the wrong thing for the right reasons. She knew she could lose you, lose her daughter, who is her only connection with what is left of Krypton” the weight of that sentence sank in her chest.

Kara knew she was risking being pushed away from her daughter and still remained silent to protect her. Lena had no idea how much she was hiding in her soul, how many scars she had. Maybe it was too unfair to not let Kara explain herself, it didn’t mean they would get back together or anything, but perhaps it would make things easier. They could restore their friendship, maybe.

“She just needs one chance and I’m sure you want to know more about the girl who arrived on this planet in a pod” Winn smiled and Lena sighed.

“I’ll think about what you said. I promise.”

 

***

 

After excusing herself, Kara stayed on the DEO to have a chat with her cousin, who looked a little embarrassed. She promised Lena it wouldn’t take long and would be back before sunset to help feed Lizzie and put her to sleep. A few days ago, Kara suggested Lena use the infamous breast pumps, something that she had completely forgotten about. Lena heard her suggestion and agreed that it would be much easier to pump the milk out and store it in baby bottles in the fridge, just warming them when it was time to feed Lizzie. That would help them organize the time their daughter was eating, creating a routine and limits. Also, Lena was now able to sleep more than half an hour, something she was in desperate need of. Kara was the one getting up in the night and taking care of the baby, while Lena was resting to look after her in the morning, while Supergirl was out fulfilling her duties and patrolling the city.

Lena went home alone, listening to the city noises and noticing how they bothered her little kryptonian. She caressed her thin dark hair and traced the pinky cheeks, smiling at her attention to a lamppost. Her greyish blue eyes were focused and her mouth made a funny noise while sucking on the pacifier. Thank God for the pacifiers, Lena thought to herself. Fortunately, Lizzie accepted them gladly and wouldn't complain about sucking on ‘anything’ as Kara complained, always saying it was torture. Lena then realized, she was smiling, Smiling because she knew Lizzie was loved, that her yeyu would protect her from anyone and anything.

She smiled because she knew she wasn’t alone in that journey.

Lena left her shoes in the living room and threw her keys on the table, putting her daughter’s seat on the couch and massaged her neck, feeling the tension relief as she pressed her finger on the right spots and sighed. The apartment had a different smell now, a sweeter one, something between baby soap and baby powder. There were baby bottles spread on the sink, clothes on her bed, and pacifiers in front of the tv. That if you ignored the diapers and cloth on every piece of furniture possible. A big mess, Lena thought quietly. The greatest mess of her life.

“We both need a shower and comfortable clothes,” Lena said to the wide-eyed girl “what do you say…”

Three knocks on the door. Lena loosed her hair from the bun and frowned. She wasn’t expecting anyone. She picked Lizzie up, noticing a complaint grumble about hunger, and answered the door.

A surprise. Completely unexpected

“Lilian?” Lena held her daughter's tiger “what are you doing here?”

“Can’t a grandma visit her granddaughter anymore?”

Notes:

Don't forget to leave kudos and comments! Love you guys.

See you next Tuesday!

Chapter 23: NOT A NEW CHAPTER

Chapter Text

Hey guys, how is everyone doing? Hope you're safe and well.

As the chapter title says, this isn't a new chapter!

I just wanted to give you all a heads up that I won't be able to post chapter 23 this Tuesday. I'm in my last year of high school and next Sunday (05/30) there's a university test application. So, unfortunately, all my focus is put into studying right now.

Chapter 23 will be posted on the next Tuesday, June first.

Hope you guys can understand and if possible, wish me luck for the test! (i'm so nervous I swear).

Anyway, have a nice week and I'll see you all in 9 days!

Chapter 24: A Heart Full of Loss

Notes:

Hello everyone, I missed you guys!

Before we begin, I wanted to thank all the good luck wishes! And for people who asked for an update, the test results will come out on June 23rd, so I will let you know then.

So, thank you all for the caring and comprehension, I love you all.

Anyways, now that we're back on track, enjoy this chapter!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

The cold and silence became one and the only sound Lena could hear was her only heartbeat resonated through the small dark hallway leading to the apartment’s private elevator. And Lilian was waiting outside. It was like her brain was struggling to keep sending the right synapses to her lips, but she was unable to speak. Like paralysis. It’d be strange if Lena didn’t react like that, especially after the events of her last encounter with her mother, or whatever that woman was and meant to her. To be honest, Lena didn’t know what to think of her, what to call her. When she was little, she would beat herself up for letting the ‘mother’ word slip out so early, so easily, not even waiting until the cold body of the woman that gave birth to her was six feet under.

 

Lena would punish herself constantly for not feeling an ounce of pain when she pronounced the word to another woman, for not having cried, for not having screamed to bring her back. It was her mother, the woman who swore to love her for eternity, who would say tender words before bed and always thought Lena was good enough. Or at least it was what Lena liked to believe, after all, she didn’t remember anything. Didn’t remember her face, her smell, the softness of her hair, and the warmth of her lips on her cold cheeks. Lena fought, fought hard. Fought to somehow keep that woman alive inside her heart. But she was only four, she was a scared, lost child, and in a blink of an eye, she was already living with another family, with a cold, distant woman, who would teach her everything about the world, about her cruel people, could be.

 

Without even noticing, Lena was calling Lilian mother. And that word never felt so apathetic as the first time she said it to her.

 

“There’s no need for that face,” Lilian said and noticed her daughter hold the baby closer to her body “and I didn’t come to harm you. I just came to see you and my granddaughter.”

 

“You don’t get to call her that” Lena stammered through trembling lips “and you can’t blame me for being scared.”

 

“I know, and for that, I apologize” she is lying, Lena repeated to herself. It had to be a lie. She’d rather for it to be a lie.

 

But her heart was far from picking another emotional fight.

 

“Can I come in or am I not welcome?” Lilian smiled calmly.

 

“Kara will arrive any time now” Lena felt the words escape her lips before she could think about them.

 

“There’s no need to call your girlfriend, Lena. As I said, I come in peace and I’m alone” she pointed to the dim hallway and smiled again.

 

“She’s not my girlfriend” Lena heard herself say the truth too soon. She sighed, not believing what her life had become, and stepped back so Lilian could come in.”

 

They walked to the living room and Lilian sat on the couch, observing the messy apartment, with clothes and diapers spread around, along with books and belongings that were certainly not Lena’s. Kara Danvers, Lilian thought to herself. So the kryptonian was living there, it was exactly hard to realize it. The detail exposed the truth, for example, the CatCo magazines, the notebook on the table, the pile of folded shirts on one chair, and the sweet perfume scent that seemed glued on the wall. It was like she was there right now, like a phantom presence. Lilian sighed in discontent and tried not to judge the lack of organization in the apartment. She had taught her daughter order, but that wasn’t why she was there.

 

Lilian took a blanket off the couch and put the dirty baby bottle on the coffee table, turning back to Lena.

 

“Can I get you anything to drink? Water, wine, or…”

 

“I’m fine, sit down a little?” Lilian pointed to the empty space next to her. Lizzie took a deep breath and Lizzie began to mumble. She was hungry again and probably needed a diaper change.

 

“Can you make it quick?” Lena asked, feeling a little despair rise in her. She kept glancing at the balcony, hoping Supergirl would show up “Lizzie is tired and hungry and so am I. We weren’t expecting visits so be brief and just get this over with.”

 

“You really like that role, don’t you?” Lilian took a package out of her purse and her blue eyes glowed “being a mother suits you, Lena.”

 

“What is that?” She cocked a brow.

 

“A gift, it’s what grandmothers do, right?” Well, based on what Eliza did, yeat. However, putting Lilian and Mrs. Danvers together, Lena knew she was far from being as good as a grandmother “you can feed her if you want, I’ve done it roo, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about” Lilian commented, hearing the baby cry a little louder.

 

Lena took a deep breath and undid the shirt's buttons and her bra, giving the exposed breast for her daughter to feed off. She took the gift from her mother’s hands and opened it, finding a little red dress, expensive-looking, the cloth felt like velvet and the lacy ruffle reminded Lena of the clothes she used to wear as a child. She wondered when Lizzie would be able to wear it and how the red color would bring out the blue eyes. She sighed. Maybe Lilian really was there just to meet her granddaughter, maybe that would work. Maybe peace could finally reign and her daughter would be out of danger.

 

“Did you like it?” Lilian asked reluctantly.

 

“It’s pretty, really beautiful” she was honest and put it aside, adjusting Lizzie on her arms. Lilian observed the baby for the first time and the CEO watched that interaction curiously. The way her mother’s eyes scanned her daughter’s small body made her apprehensive and a little scared, but maybe it was because Lena had never seen her like that. So liable, so… admired.

 

Lena didn’t know the right word to describe it.

 

“She looks like you,” the sweet words startled Lena “She has your lips and makes the same sound you used to do when you ate like she’s humming while she’s chewing.

 

“I remember how you hated when I did that and sent me to eat in my room” Lena answered with remorse, though she didn’t want to sound like that.

 

“You made too much noise” they stared at each other and Lena knew there was something more there.

 

“It must’ve been hard, after all, it only made my presence there clearer and you didn’t want that, did you?” It wasn’t quite a question but a statement. Listening to the young girl hum while eating, laughing, and talking about chess with Lex and so many other things, only made Lilian realize how the girl fit perfectly in her family when in reality, she wasn’t part of it.

 

It was like accepting a mistake without even trying to erase it.

 

“You said Kara isn’t your girlfriend, I thought you were together” Lilian changed the subject and Lena wasn’t surprised by it. Lilian never let her guard down “it seems the truth really does destroy, hm?” and there was the mother she knew.

 

“You knew the truth the whole time” Lena caressed her daughter’s hair softly “you could have told me, could have ended this a long time ago.”

 

“I certainly could have, but you wouldn’t believe me and the effect wouldn’t be the same” she commented, victorious “and by the look on your face I take it hasn’t been easy to deal with.”

 

“Anyone can see that mother” and again, the word slipped out “what have you really come to do? Why are you here? To tell me how happy you are now your family’s name won’t be related to a Super” she accused “just so you know, Lizzie is…”

 

“Half alien?” Lilian interrupted “yes, I know. Our last encounter made that very clear. However, fortunately, or not, I didn’t come here to stand against you, but beside you” her voice went soft and, carefully, Lilian moved closer to her daughter, pushing the hair away from her face and placing it behind her ear “I came to help you.”

 

“Help me?” Lena frowned and the sudden touch of a cold finger on her cheeks made her heart race. It was different from everything she had received from the woman who should’ve treated her like that since she was a lost kid “help me how?”

 

“Lena, look at everything that happened to you since that woman came into your life” Lilian spoke carefully, choosing the words well “Kara turned your world upside now, she hid the truth from you, she knew you were carrying her daughter and still chose to lie” Lilian held her face and her intense star created a new kind of fear in Lena’s eyes “I don’t think it’s fair to keep her here, living with your daughter. Lizzie is yours, Lena, only yours. If Kara really wanted her, she would’ve had a more mature attitude and look at what happened. You’re in pieces, broken and you still have to be strong for someone so fragile” Lena closed her eyes, fighting against the tears that so easily ran down her cheeks “you deserve more, and so does Lizzie. Neither of you has to remain involved in a world that doesn’t belong to us, one where aliens and humans coexist, it’s madness.

 

“Lizzie is also alien” Lena affirmed but Lilian simply smiled.

 

“She doesn’t need to know and will be safer if she doesn’t” that proposition caught her by surprise. Her heart entered a battlefield against her soul. Could she keep her daughter from her own reality?

 

At the same time, would she be able to keep her safe if anyone found out a child was as powerful as Supergirl?

 

A kryptonian immune to kryptonite.

 

“I can’t do that” Lena wished she sounded stronger but her voice was trembling “it’s impossible to keep it from her, it will be clear once she gets her powers.”

 

“She might never have them, there’s no way of knowing” and, once again, Lilian was right. Alex was still studying her niece’s blood, trying to know to what point the alien DNA was tied to the human genes. Truly, Lizzie might never have powers, she could turn out a normal kid, but she already had super hearing. It was a shot in the dark, a dead-end street “until then, you can keep her safe, do what you believe is right and not what Kara thinks you should do. It’s not fair for her to have all she wants while your heart remains broken. Don’t you have a little bit of pride?”

 

“I do, but…” Lena didn’t have any excuses. Lilian had managed to make a cruel, but fair point.

 

“Do it for your daughter, it won’t be so great when people find out she is half-alien, and do you want her to spend her whole life lying?” and that fact poked the open wound in her heart.

 

The lie.

 

“It will already be a lie if I hide her” she retorted and Lilian smiled again, aware of how stubborn and smart her girl was.

 

Lena looked down to her daughter again and her whole being was filled with infinite hope and peace. Lizzie carried both words in her blood, however, it was cruel to put the burden of both of them on someone so young. She couldn’t let her grow up in a hostile, dangerous place, surrounded by people that wanted to take advantage of her powers, if she got them, to get what they wanted. Lilian was right, if Lena raised her in the middle of so many contradictions, she would never know who was friendly or not. But what about Kara? What would she think? And furthermore, should she worry about what her friend felt?

 

Also, were they still friends now?

 

Her head ached and, before Lena could answer and get Lilian to leave her home, the apartment’s door opened and a frozen figure appeared on sight.

 

Kara.

 

“What is she doing here?” Kara spit the word and turned to the woman with her daughter in her arms.

 

Lilian got up, taking her time, and smiled at Lena.

 

“Think about it” she kissed her head “be well, Lena.”

 

Kata watched as the older woman left, never averting her eyes until the door slammed shut. The tension hung in the air, almost palpable. They both knew what was coming next.

 

“What was she doing here?” Kara asked, perplexed and angry.

 

“In case you didn’t know, Lilian is my mother,” Lena asked defensively, putting Lizzie back on the baby seat, asleep “she just came to pay a visit.”

 

“Visit?” her eyes shot wide open “do you really believe she only came to visit? After everything she did?”

 

“I don’t want to discuss that now, Kara” she sighed, her hands nervously going through her hair.

 

“Then when? Because honestly, I’m tired of waiting for you to be ready!” she didn’t mean to raise her voice and the wrong words slipped.

 

“Well, I’m sorry if I was honest the whole time and accepted a visitation from my mother” the sarcasm took over her words “and I’m sorry if I have to obey your timing, instead of dealing with this mess that is motherhood and someone who lied to me inside my house!” she pointed out hurtfully, seeing the blue eyes tear up.

 

“I-I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that” she sighed, nervously. Her heart sank down.

 

“You made it very clear what you meant” she retorted.

 

“I’m sorry, okay” her voice shook “I’m sorry I got scared by the presence of someone who could have killed the woman I love and my daughter with one strike!” the tears were streaming “for Rao’s sake, Lena! She could’ve…” she sobbed “she used kryptonite! Lizzie could’ve died, you could’ve… I’m sorry, but you can’t blame me for feeling this, I already lost too much Lena, more than you can imagine and I can’t… I won’t accept having everything taken from me again!” her hands were shaking and Kara felt her eyes burn.

 

Quickly, Lena knew what was happening. Kara closed her eyes and they glowed behind the lids, like usual. However, the kryptonian was far from regaining control, very far and her first instinct was to run. And Lena hated when she ran because she was scared of what could happen if no one was there to help her.

 

“Fuck” she groaned and ran to hold her hands “Kara, breathe, please!” but she wouldn’t listen.

 

The sobs became longer, the crying was louder and the blonde hair was sticking to the hot tears. The neon shade was all around her orbit, burning and stinging, taking every ounce of control Kara once had. It was despairing. She knelt down, weak and tired, allowing the pain to flood her fatigued soul. She couldn’t take it anymore. Lena followed her movements, never letting go of her hands and not knowing what to say, how to help or calm her down so that they could talk. Lena thought about calling Alex but that would only bring more attention to them.

 

She had to figure this out on her own.

 

“Kara, listen to me,” she asked again “Kara, I need you to take a deep breath and tell me how to help you.”

 

“You need to get out of here!” she almost screamed which woke the baby up, scaring her and making her cry “she is afraid of me…” she murmured, anguished.

 

“That’s not true, Kara,” Lena affirmed, moving her hands up to her face “you need to take a deep breath and calm down, I can’t help you like this.”

 

“I can hurt you…”

 

“You won’t!” this time, her voice raised up “you won’t because that’s not you! Your fear doesn’t define who you are and I need you, for whatever is worth, to trust me!” without a second thought, Lena pulled her into her arms, embracing her fully and protectively. 

 

Kara quickly hugged her neck, hiding her face on her shoulders and crying loudly. They were both too broken and tired to fight one another. Lena stroked the hair on her scalp, caressing the blonde strands and feeling her own face get wet with tears. Lizzie was still screaming in the background, also exhausted from the busy day and in need of a shower and some hours of sleep. That was her family, Lena thought to herself, a family destroyed in half, by the despair of being enough for each other but never enough for themselves.

 

“I’m… so-sorry, Lena” her whisper echoed quietly “I’m scared…”

 

“Me too” she confessed “I’m scared too, Kara” she sighed, letting her hands travel down to her back “I’m sorry for causing this…Lilian... she confuses me, but if you’d rather for Lizzie to stay away from her, I…” the words from her mother invaded her mind again, alerting Lena on how many times she gave herself up for someone who lied. Someone who hid the truth.

 

 

“No…” Kara finally moved away and was able to open her eyes. The glow was gone “that’s not… how it’s supposed to be…” she murmured, visibly upset “I can’t alienate you from your family, no matter… how much I want it, but I wa-want… I want to be here when it happens, because if I don’t… arrive in time and…”

 

“Nothing is going to happen…”

 

“You can’t be sure” Kara shot back quickly and Lena nodded because she was right. Lilian was unpredictable.

 

“I promise I won’t be with her and Lizzie without you, okay?” Lena offered and Kara agreed with a nod “we’re both tired, we need sleep and so does Lizzie” they got up and Lena let the other mother take her daughter.

 

She watched as Kara kissed the girl’s face with adoration and care and then she knew it was impossible to try to take away a whole world from her daughter, now that she was part of both. It was a winless fight between her need to do the right thing and the need to protect the world. To protect Lizzie.

 

“Lena…” Kara called before she disappeared down the hallway “about what I said… I don’t…” she sighed “I didn’t mean it, I was just scared everything would happen all over again” Lena frowned, not quite understanding what that ‘everything’ meant.

 

“I know, and you’ll get your chance to explain yourself, I just ask you for a little more time.” Kara frowned too.

 

“All the time you need.”

 

 

***

 

“Are you ready?” Sam turned to Ruby and she nodded, smiling. They exhaled together and walked into the dim room. It was Sunder, and of course, Alex would still be asleep at eight in the morning.

 

As always, her legs were tangled with the blanket and her hands under the pillow. After a few months together, Sam had memorized almost every habit of her girlfriends, thinking they were all sweet and cute.

 

It was amazing to have her by her side, overcoming every obstacle, learning how to verbalize emotions, to understand and love each other in a new way every day. Sure, they were time they hit a bump, they got into discussions, fought, and tried not to get Ruby involved in between things, since that would just be immature. The girl had nothing to do with it, but she could always tell when there was something wrong about her two favorite people.

 

Also, Ruby knew something different was going on as well. Her mother was absent sometimes, she would be gone for hours, sometimes, late in the night, Ruby would listen to the window being opened and steps around the house would follow. By then, Sam wasn’t the same. Alex was also well aware of that but avoided bringing the subject up with the kid. Both she and her girlfriend decided the better thing to do was exams and take her to the DEO for safety measures. Sam hated waking up in a strange place with her whole being and not remembering a single thing. There were just missed calls, unanswered texts and Sam didn’t even know what had happened or how she had ended up there

.

And so, Alex suggested the DEO and swore to keep it a secret.

 

But that morning wasn’t about that, it was about something very, very different. Ruby planned everything carefully, step by step, asking her mom for help on the hardest part and getting all she needed. Due to the anxiety, Ruby woke up much earlier and dragged Sam out of bed. Now, they were both in their pajamas, slowly entering the room, the older woman putting the tray on the bedside and slightly opening the curtains so they could now actually see the room. Ruby smiled excitedly and turned to her mom, asking permission to wake up the sleepy agent.

 

Sam nodded, smiling, and watched as her daughter jumped on the mattress, lied next to the redhead, and kissed the tip of her nose.

 

“Aunt Alex, hey!” she murmured, poking her cheeks “let’s wake up!”

 

“Hum?” she grumbled, not even opening her eyes “only five minutes more…”

 

“No!” Ruby complained, “it’s time to wake up…”

 

Alex grabbed the pillow and threw it on the girl’s face, making her laugh and scream at the same time.

 

“Hey! That’s not fair!” she laughed as Alex's cold fingers tickled her belly and waist “mom! Help me!”

 

Sam jumped on the bed and poked the exact area where her girlfriend was more sensitive to tickles, Alex moved away instinctively, screaming and laughing.

 

“Okay! I’m up!” Alex groaned and tried to catch a breath “two against one is so unfair.”

 

“I’m going to use those words against you when you and Ruby team up again for pizza on dinner” Sam teased and the other two looked at each other, guilty as charged “don’t even try putting on that face.”

 

“You love this face, that’s your issue” Alex shot back, stubborn “I have nothing to do with it.”

 

“Oh, don’t you” Sam cocked a brow and with that look, Alex knew very well when her punishment was coming. But she wasn’t going to complain, of course. Never.

 

“Ew, stop that,” Ruby interrupted “can we skip to the surprise part?”

 

“What surprise? By the way, why did you wake me up so early on a Sunday?” she asked curiously and then saw her girlfriend get the breakfast tray, an exaggeratedly big one.  

 

“Ruby wanted to surprise you, do you know what day it is today?” Sam asked and turned to her daughter, encouraging her to speak. The girl blushed slightly and took a deep breath. Getting up to get a medium-sized box, hand-colored and wrapped in a golden lace.

 

“Is it my birthday?” Alex was pretty sure it wasn’t. Was it?

 

“Open it” Sam continued and Alex obeyed.

 

Quickly the lace was undone and the content inside the box was revealed. There were three frames. One with a drawing of a family tree, the other with three pairs of hands on the paper, and the last one had a photo of the three of them in the park. Alex allowed herself to feel the moment, remembering when she helped Ruby color the huge tree, explaining that it was okay not to have a big family because friends were also part of it and what mattered was the tenderness and love nurtured by and for each one. She also remembered when Ruby asked her to paint the palm of her hand and then press it against the paper, she heard the sloppy excuse that it was for a huge school thing and that there wasn’t much time to explain. Of course, she didn’t say no.

 

But the complicated part wasn’t receiving the gifts, but analyzing each detail. And that’s what made her eyes water and her hands shake.

 

“This is the tree that you helped me make and then I realized it was wrong” Ruby explained, sitting next to Alex and pointing at the figures “here is my grandma, aunt Lena, aunt Kara, Lizzie, and well… I only added all of them because you’re here, right next to my mom” Alex saw the drawing of her, next to a hand-made smiley Sam and they were connected by a line. That line went down to the last member of the tree: Ruby “in the hands project, the teacher asked us to make something that artistically represented our family and well… I couldn’t leave you aside” Ruby took another breath, feeling even more nervous, now that Alex was crying and not saying a thing “and… today, well… er, it’s the second Sunday of May…” she scoffed and turned to her mom, receiving an encouraging smile in return “Happy Mother’s Day, aunt Alex, because I… I love you as if you were a mom” she was honest and waited for a reaction, any reaction.

 

However, Alex didn’t know what she was feeling. For years in her life, she wondered what it would feel like to be loved like that, unconditionally. It was an intense desire from her heart, stronger than she understood, and she couldn’t explain why it was there. It just was. Alex looked at her girlfriend, who stared at her in such a comprehensive, loving way that only made the tears rise again. Sam intertwined their fingers, giving her the courage she needed to breathe and give Ruby a proper answer. She observed the frames again, all colorful and living. When Alex broke off her engagement a year ago, she never thought she would find someone that would make it all worth it again.

 

But she was wrong.

 

“Ruby, I…” she sighed “damn it, I don’t even know what to say!” they laughed “you are so special and I’m very proud of the girl you’re becoming, especially when you hit stupid boys, keep that up” Alex winked and Sam punched her shoulder “give me a hug, you little troublemaker” she pulled her close and Ruby quickly tightened her arms around her, listening to the whispered I love you. It was everything Ruby needed to know she had done the right thing.

 

Sam, though everyone told her she would be jealous once someone else entered her daughter’s heart, actually felt the opposite of that. For years she had to deal with the single mother situation and, to be honest, it was complicated, but she wouldn’t change it for the world. However, she couldn’t deny that having someone who loved Ruby the same way she did and that her daughter loved back too, was more than she thought she would ever get. Suddenly, Alex pulled her in too and the three of them stayed there for a moment or two, enjoying the proximity and allowing the redhead to get used to the idea of having her first surprise on Mother's Day.

 

“And there’s more,” Sam smiled and poked her daughter.

 

“God, I’m going to die because of you two” she mumbled, nervous not sure if she would be able to handle more.

 

“Tomorrow there’s a special presentation for Mother’s Day at school and I want you to come!” Ruby almost screamed and jumped on her knees “you’re coming, right?”

 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Alex affirmed.

 

“Now that we’re finished with the surprise, eat” Sam ordered.

 

“Finally!” Alex dramatized “where are Agnes and the puppies?”

 

“In the backyard, we already walked and fed them. Krypton destroyed another shoe of yours” Sam answered and Alex rolled her eyes, she would charge that from Lena later, of course, “how do you think Lena is going to handle her first Mother’s Day?” Sam wondered, remembering it was her friend’s first “do you think they’re going to remember?”

 

“Kara has been forgetting even her glasses, so I can’t tell you I’m sure” Alex commented, mouthful, slicing a piece of cake for Ruby “don’t eat everything!”

 

“I’m not eating everything” Ruby retorted, pushing the whole slice on her mouth.

 

“Ruby!” Sam snorted, rolling her eyes as Ruby ran from the bedroom, chased by Alex.

 

Children.

 

 

***

 

 

It hadn’t been long since the sun had risen and Kara was already up on her feet. She went to the bathroom, washed her face, brushed her teeth, and checked the clock again. It was going to be enough time, it had to be. She walked in her pajamas through the huge apartment she was now living in, humming an NSYNC song. Kara walked into Lena’s room, stepping on her tiptoes and finding the woman asleep in between pillows and blanket. Kara smiled at the sight and pulled one of the blankets up the shoulders of the woman she swore to protect. Kara would never stop loving her and that was the truth. She looked over to the crib next to the bed and saw her daughter, blue eyes wide open, hands in the air, and playing with her fingers.

 

“Good morning to you, Seedy” Kara whispered, knowing her daughter was listening well “we have a lot of work today.”

 

She grabbed the baby and left the room, not making any noise.

 

Kara went to her daughter’s nursery, putting her over the changing mat and doing her morning hygiene. Lizzie grumbled a couple of times but behaved well, not making too much noise because that would certainly wake up her other mother. Kara, of course, put on her favorite clothes on her daughters, trying not to laugh at how cute and funny she looked. She kissed the soft pink cheeks and they went to the kitchen, where Kara warmed a baby bottle and fed Lizzie while checking the plans she had written on her phone. Kara was never gifted in the kitchen or anything that had to do with cooking. Well, she was good at eating. She sighed, lost, re-reading the options, burned a few brain cells thinking too much, but she finally made her mind up.

 

Putting the baby on her chair on top of the kitchen table, Kara watched as the baby observed her movements. Lizzie staying up and focused on the environment around her was becoming more frequent now.

 

“Baby, if anything happens, it’s your fault, okay?” Kara pointed a spoon to Lizzie and received a confused look in return “we can’t break anything but accidents happen.”

 

Lizzie continued to not understand and went back to fidgeting with her fingers.

 

“Do you happen to know how to make pancakes? Hum, probably not” Kara continued the conversation “I do, and I can assure you they’re the best in the world” Kara giggled at herself “just don’t tell your aunt Alex, she’s a little envious…”

 

Her monologue carried on until her to-do list was complete. Kara organized everything on a huge tray, adding the flowers she had bought along with the card, and balanced Lizzie and breakfast, each on one arm, thanking Rao Lena was still asleep, otherwise, she would be getting a lecture. Kara opened the door with her shoulder, trying not to stumble, and put the baby chair on the mattress and the food on the cupboard. She slightly opened the curtains, took Lizzie in her arms, and went to the bathroom to take a deep breath. She didn’t know if she was crossing a line, much less if Lena would be happy with her room’s invasion. It had been weeks since they hugged or even looked at each other for too long. Kara missed her a lot. She wouldn’t deny it.

 

But that situation was different and involved a lot more than their broken relationship. So, Kara inhaled again and looked in the mirror, fixing her daughter's clothes and smiling, now realizing she was able to take care of the baby for a while on her own. She checked her phone. It was time.

 

“Lena” Kara whispered, moving the hair from her face, and soon heard her alarm sound low “Lena…”

 

“Hum? Kara?” Lena sat up quickly, trying to make sense of what was going on. She noticed her room was illuminated by a slight breach on the curtains, there was a breakfast tray in front of her, and Kaar was smiling, illuminating the room brighter than the sun shining outside. Her first instinct was to look over to the crib “did something happen?” she exhaled, finding Lizzie in her arms “good morning, baby” she murmured, smiling “Kara?”

 

“Uh… I-I’m…” she scoffed “well…” Kara pointed to everything. The pancakes, the flowers, and the card “Happy Mother’s Day…”

 

And only then Lena realized what that Sunday was. The second Sunday of May, Mother’s Day. Why didn’t she remember? Lena sighed. Sure, it would be ironic to expect Lena to remember it, especially her. Of course, if she had her biological mother with her, she would have celebrated that day every year, with school presentations and hand drawings with crayons. However, it wasn’t like that with Lilian and that didn’t suit her. At the institutions she went to, the girls barely had time to think about meaningless presentations, thinking it was a complete waste of time and focusing only on the things that would contribute to their education. Lex didn’t seem to care either, after all, he wasn’t familiar with any other mother besides theirs.

 

So, the CEO let her back lean on the pillow and let the feeling sink on her chest. It was her first Mother’s Day and she didn’t even know how to react. Maybe it was too soon to deal with it, but who was she trying to fool? It wasn’t a bad feeling, just a confusing one, because she didn’t know how she was going to educate her daughter regarding a date she herself didn’t understand. She looked at Kara and found the assurance she needed. The blue eyes, so similar to Lizzie’s, the smile that was still her favorite, and the messy blonde strands that made her look even more angelic. Eliza had done an amazing job on that role and Lena wished she could call her, to ask what it was like to be sure that everything was right. That it was worth it to have a day celebrating her role in the world.

 

Her role as a mother.

 

Kara laid her daughter on the mattress, putting her head over a pillow, and reached for a cupcake on the tray. She placed a candle on it and lit it with a lighter.

 

“What are we celebrating?” Lena frowned.

 

“Lizzie is one month old, today” Kara answered, smiling and they both looked at the baby “I thought that was deserving of a cake and a candle.”

 

“Of course you did” Lena took the girl in her arms, laughing as she realized she was wearing the minion yellow jumpsuit and trying not to cry because it fit her now. Lizzie had grown and was completing one month of life.

 

“Look at me!” Kara asked smiling, taking her phone out of her pocket “say cheese!”

 

“Wait!” Lena covered her face with a hand “why are you taking my picture?”

 

“Er… because it’s mother’s day?” Kara answered, confused “and because… I want her to have memories… you know?”

 

“I get that, but why aren’t you in the picture” that caught Kara by surprise “you’re her mother too” Lena stated the obvious “come here.”

 

“Still a little awkwardly and unsure of what she could do or how much closer she could get, Kara positioned herself next to Lena, embracing her from behind and observing as she put Lizzie between them. She clicked on the automatic photos and leaned the phone on a cup, The flashes were quick and they changed positions a few times. At first, there was a certain shyness, but their daughter deserved the best because, in the future, she would look at each picture and would know that, despite everything they went through, her mothers did everything to assure her well-being and her happiness. The last photo was their favorite. Lizzie was between them, Lena was holding her and laughing at something Kara had said while Kara was kissing the baby’s cheeks.

 

“Ready?” Kara asked, “don’t forget to make a wish.”

 

They counted to three and blew the candles for the first celebration of Lizzie Luthor Danvers.

 

“Well, I hope the pancakes don’t taste burnt, not that I burnt them, or messed the kitchen, or… ruined anything, you don’t need to leave in half an hour because maybe your kitchen is inhabitable and I…”

 

“You’re rambling, again” Lena pointed out and poured herself a cup of coffee “you don’t have to go, this day is yours just as it is mine and I… I need to be honest with you, about something you’ve been waiting for,” she said and Kara felt her heart ache.

 

It had been days since Lilian’s visit, over a week. They didn’t talk about it, the subject wasn’t brought up again. Kara understood that Lena needed more time, more space and she respected that like she always did. They continued to live one day at a time, overcoming the obstacles in the best ways they could and trying not to make things worse. Everything was hurting enough. But it turns out that, no matter how much Kara believed Lena, something inside her was slowly giving up, because she had nothing to hold on to. Lizzie truly was the only bond between them, the only thing capable of keeping them in an uncomfortable, but a living relationship.

 

Kara was tired of waiting, but she couldn’t rush anything.

 

“Are… are you sure?” her voice trembled. The anxiety began to climb up her throat, ready to come out.

 

“Ramona invited me to Julie’s before lunch, we haven’t met little Grace yet” Lena explained “if you want to come with us, that’s okay, but when we’re back I want to listen to your side of the story. I want to know why your eyes burn every time you’re scared” finally, blue met green. And there had never been a stronger connection than that “do you want to come with me?”

 

Two sirens sounded outside and the two Kryptonians turned to the window. Kara sighed and turned back to Lena.

 

“I understand” Lena murmured simply “I’ll be waiting for you.”

 

“Tell Julie and Ramona I said hi” Kara tried a weak smile “and Lena…” she sighed, trying to hold the tears, made of relief “thank you.”

 

The hero kissed her daughter’s head and smiled one more time at the woman that she loved. And in a blink of an eye, Supergirl flew away and left her whole world behind, hoping she would win it back after that mission.

 

 

***

 

 

The doorbell sounded loud and Lena heard someone scream excitedly and a dog barking. From what it seemed, things were excited inside the house. She waited patiently, checking her reflection quickly on the window, fixing her skirt, and verifying she was presentable. It was Lizzie’s second day out, but the DEO shouldn’t be considered a fun day out, especially when regarding what had happened there. Lena looked at her daughter in the stroller, incredibly awake at that time and she smiled at the sight of the baby trying to play with the pacifier’s cord, laced on the blue overall. One of Kara’s favorites.

 

“Lena!” Julie opened the door and pulled her in, helping her with the bags and the stroller “Jesus, this woman can have as many children as she wants to and she’ll still be looking like she just left a photoshoot” she complimented, making the CEO blush.

 

“Don’t exaggerate it, Julie” Lena tried to change the subject.

 

“I’m pretty sure Forber’s next front page will include the CEO who manages to be a mother and running a billionaire company at the same time while I can’t even wash the dishes and keep Ezra from eating toothpaste” Julie dramatized and Ramona laughed from the kitchen, walking to them until Lena hugged her.

 

“I brought you this” Lena showed the many packages, each one belonging to one specific person. She wasn’t sure what to buy her friends, so it ended up being easier to get specific things for each child there. Lena also bought new clothes for Lizzie, even though she clearly didn’t need them “and I think Forbes is more interested in any new boring millionaire than the CEO who is on maternity leave” Lena pointed out, but her friends ignore it. They were too big fans to care about those things “where’s Ezra?”

 

“Here!” the boy ran and grabbed the Luthor’s legs, smiling “Lee!”

 

“Yeah, he learned how to say your name” Ramona commented “haven’t learned mine yet though” she fake complained.

 

“Hello, little man” Lena kneeled and kissed his cheeks, carrying him up and letting him lean on her shoulder “I missed you too, and I brought a present!”

 

“Yay!” he clapped and climbed down her legs. Julie handed him the wrapped box and allowed him to make a mess ripping the paper.

 

“Speaking of presents, Ezra will be two in two months and his favorite aunt had to be present” Julia pointed to the CEO and Ramona cocked a brow at the ‘favorite aunt’ part “don’t look at me like I’m going to finance his academic life as a birthday gift, Lena” they laughed.

 

Ramona and Julie enjoyed the moment to take a seat in the living room and open the other boxes. Lizzie remained in her stroller, same as Theo and Thomas, who were in a double stroller and Grace was asleep in her nursery.

 

“Damn it, Lena, that must have cost a fortune” Ramona exclaimed, studying the purse in her hands “but I don’t care, you’re a billionaire, it’s fine.”

 

“The best and most rewarding friendship of my life,” Julie said and Ramona grimaced at her “what? It’s true, the only things you’ve ever given me were self-help books.”

 

“That you asked for! And mainly because of that cute author on the cover page” Julie blushed at the exposition.

 

“There’s no need to call me out, okay?” she joked, making the other women laugh “thank you, Lena. Where’s your wife?”

 

And there it was, the lie that surrounded that situation for months. Lena couldn’t face that without falling apart, and it wasn’t fair to keep living something that was far from truly happening.

 

“Kara had a mishap at work” Lena sighed to herself. So that was the feeling Alex dealt with every time she lied to protect her sister’s identity “but she said hello to you all.”

 

“Oh no,” Ramone looked over to her friend and Julie did the same, sharing an understanding look “she’s going through that phase, Julie.”

 

“I know what that’s like, I’ve been there” Julie sighed, and Lena just stood there, oblivious to what they were talking about.

 

“What phase?” she cocked a brow.

 

“The one that all couples go through after the birth of their first child” Ramona explained “the tiredness, the baby crying, the diapers, the lack of sex…”

 

Oh, God!

 

“Believe me, we all go through it and it doesn’t last forever,” Julie said, stroking her friend’s shoulder “especially the sex part, I even got pregnant again.”

 

“God… I-I’m… not, we’re not…” Lena took a deep breath. Kara was the one who stuttered, not her “Kara and I aren’t going through any of… that, in fact, well… it’s complicated” she felt the anxiety rise up her throat. Lena hated lies, so why was she perpetuating those? “She and I were never married,” she spat the truth.

 

Ramona’s and Julie’s eyes shot wide open and their faces immediately turned to Lena. They weren’t expecting that, at all.

 

“What do you mean?” Julie asked carefully, knowing they were probably entering a delicate subject “you know you can tell is anything, right?”

 

“Just don’t drop a bomb like that without warning first” Ramona sighed and Lena smiled weakly.

 

Silence reigned for a few moments, enough time for Lena to drown all the pain and anguish of reliving the last month and be able to speak coherently. Sure, she and Kara were dealing with the daughter's situation in a mature way, however, their friendship and relationship were basically non-existent, they weren’t even able to keep a conversation that wasn’t about Lizzie or related to the baby. It was like they had never been best friends in the distant past.

 

“We were… are…” she sighed. The word best friend hadn’t been used by her to describe Kara for a long time. “Well, at the time we were just friends and everything was a misunderstanding, but there had always been a mutual feeling and…”

 

“That word is pretty much a euphemism to what you’re describing. It’s hard for two people to love each other so much to the point where they look married like you did” Ramone interrupted and Julia agreed with a nod.

 

“I know… and I love her very much, she was the first and only person to believe me, to see me as Lena and not as a Luthor” she sighed. She couldn’t cry now “well, now there’s you two, of course. But back then, it was just her, only Kara. It was impossible not to fall in love…”

 

“So you dated,” Julie said.

 

“Yes, that kiss at Zara’s shop was our first kiss” Lena confessed, embarrassed but smiling at the memory “and after that, it was natural, it was like…”

 

“Like it had always been that way,” Ramona said and Lena nodded, still feeling the weight of that fact “but Lizzie had her surname?”

 

"That’s… a very complicated story…”

 

“So Kara, who was not your wife. but was your girlfriend, and now isn’t, has a sister who is one of your best friends and now is the godmother to your daughter, who also has the names of you both” Ramona almost lost herself in her line of thought.

 

“Yeah…”

 

“That’s fucked up, Lena” she let out.

 

“Ramona!”

 

“And it gets worse” Lena continued “my best friend for years now, who is also L-Corp’s CFO, is Alex’s girlfriend” they looked at each other and went back to staring at Lena.

 

Ezra was entertaining himself with Lizzie on the stroller, standing on his tiptoes and showing the present to her. Lena observed them for a moment, feeling her heart sink in her chest with the idea that her daughter, though so young, was loved and already had friends, although she didn’t understand that concept yet. Lena sighed lovingly, trying no to think about how much Kara would love to see that scene.

 

“This just gets sadder every word you say” Julie broke the silence, getting up to get Grace, who had started crying “do you want a drink and watch Desperate Housewives?” they laughed and the television was turned on, ending up on a random news channel.

 

The well-dressed man, who was an anchor of the channel, was saying something about stocks and the news of the economic world when suddenly the screen began to show National City, where a fight was taking place. And, of course, Supergirl was involved. Lena’s eyes landed on the red-caped figure and she felt her chest ache at the sight of the fight. Kara looked like another person, one that, at the same time, was distant and yet a part of her. It wasn’t her sweet, shy reporter who was always rambling and stuttering when nervous. It was different, but an interesting difference. To look at the hero fighting and knowing her identity brought a whole new set of confusing feelings in Lena.

 

She was scared. Scared because now it was her Kara there, the one who fought villains and threw herself in front of huge blocks of concrete and sacrificed herself for others. How was Lena supposed to remain calm? What if Kara didn’t make it? What would she tell Lizzie? How would she tell her the truth?

 

That’s when Lena caught a glimpse of a dark cape, an impotent figure, as serious and intense as Supergirl. Lena knew that Reign was a mystery around the DEO the past months because no one was able to get one word out of the woman. She would simply show up, play her part and run away like she didn’t owe anyone explanations. Many times, Supergirl tried to chase her, track her, but the facts were obvious: Reign wasn’t just stronger than the Girl of Steel, she was also faster. And that made the job of the department that dealt with aliens on Earth a lot harder.

 

The ache in her chest only grew and Lena watched the hero take and throw punches furiously.

 

Her phone rang. It was Alex.

 

“I have to go” Lena got up fast and began to take her things. Ramon and Julie found the hurry odd “I’m sorry, I promise I’ll be back later, but I just got an urgent call and…” the phone was still ringing in her chest and she looked at her friends, eyes full of guilt.

 

The two women, however, smiled in understanding. They didn’t notice the real reason for the Luthor’s nervousness, they thought it was because of the subject they were talking about, not because she had just witnessed the mother of her child risk her life in front of her.

 

“It’s cool, Lena” Julie assured, “we’ll be here for when you want to come back.”

 

 

***

 

 

“Supergirl!” Alex screamed again while pointing the way to the other agents “no!”

 

“She won’t escape this time!” Supergirl yelled back, putting all her attention on the woman in black.

 

She flew fast and tried to reach her, but, as always, Reign was faster and escaped the hero majestically. The mess was made and, if Reign hadn’t shown up, many civilians could have died. The problem wasn’t in her help but in her brute and archaic ways of dealing with the bad guys. Even with the ones who were aliens. Two were dead, almost completely crushed by the secret hero’s hands, while the other three were taken by the local police. Kara continued to chase her through the skyscrapers, dodging everything in her way and trying to reach the other side, but it was all useless when it came to the other kryptonian.

 

Supergirl, you have to find a way to slow her down.

 

“Like what?” Kara answered Winn on the hearing gadget. She kept on flying, coming close to breaking the barrier of sound, again. 

 

“You’re going to end up breaking the whole city!” Alex screamed as she saw her fly past them “take her to the coast and keep away from civilians!”

 

“Right!” She screamed back.

 

A  piece of concrete!  Winn said again

 

It was simple physics, completely basic. Something had to create enough impact to make Reign stop for a few seconds. And those minimal seconds had to be enough time for Kara to act.

 

The hero ripped a block of concrete from the floor and aimed at the dark shadow that tried to escape through the east town. It was all a matter of strength and angular velocity. She took a deep breath, whitening all the noise around her, and lifted the weight, feeling all her muscles contract under her skin. She squinted her eyes and counted to three. Fucking physics, she thought to herself. Mass and angle acceleration. Kara sighed and the shadow of the concrete ran on the floor, hitting the target perfectly and almost making her fall from the impact. Now was that time.

 

Reign, as soon as she felt the dust and the pieces of concrete breaking on her body, tried to regain control, but, as she opened her eyes, all she saw was a figure coming fast in her direction. The collision of bodies was enough to throw the kryptonians in the opposite direction, reaching an impressive velocity and making them fall hard on the sand of the beach. A few civilians around ran to watch the heroes fight on the floor, still looking for domination in that wrestle. Kara wouldn’t let her escape without getting the answers to her questions, without knowing what her goal was there if she wasn't looking for anyone specifically.

 

“Get off of me!” Reign screamed and punched Supergirl’s nose, making it bleed.

 

“No!” Kara held her by the neck, feeling a kick on her hip in the failed attempt to invert positions. It was hurting and she knew that would leave a mark.

 

Suddenly, Reign managed to rip part of the blue suit, cutting her arm with laser vision. Kara let out a scream of being and lost breath, alongside the control.

 

“Leave me alone!” she warned again/

 

“Why won’t you answer me?” Kara questioned, resented “I’m kryptonian too!”

 

“And you want to make a club?” she was ironic “I work alone!”

 

“No one here works alone” Kara retorted and fought back, hitting her elbow on her lower back “I just need answers!” she hit her nose and then her chest, throwing her body on the sand and regaining control on top “answer me!”

 

“No!” she screamed and grabbed the hero’s cape. It was a matter of milliseconds and Kara saw a glimpse of a smile on the mysterious woman’s face.

 

When she least expected, Reign turned her body and Kara was throwing into the sea, the salted water quickly drenching her and her cape being pulled by the waves.

 

“What the… not fair!” Kara stood up awkwardly and shook her body, feeling the smell of fish on her hair “I have to come home clean!” she grumbled and heard the woman laugh.

 

“I work alone” she advanced on Supergirl’s body again and held her by the neck, tightening the grip over her throat and watching her breath heavily. Kara saw as her intense eyes went from red blood to clear brown. As if there were two people stuck in the same body, fighting for control.

 

“Reign… I…” Kara wasn’t able to talk and breathe at the same time “d-don’t have to…”

 

That was when the uncanny kryptonian came back to her senses and weakened the grip fast. Kara fell on the sand again, the water covered her legs and her hands touched the sore neck.

 

“Stay out of my way, Supergirl” Reign spoke drily “I’m not here to disturb your work, so don’t disturb mine!”

 

Kara looked up only to see the eerie shadow disappear in the sky again. Once again, escaping without answering anything again.

 

 

***

 

 

Lena arrived at the apartment right on time to find a wet, damp, and bleeding Supegirl, standing on the balcony. Alex told her that her sister was going home instead of the DEO, where she would be under the agent’s watch and the yellow lights. It was clear now that Reign was able to hurt the hero, they were from the same planet and that meant a lot more than what the situation was showing. Lena tried to hide the panic that crawled on her stomach, she placed Lizzie on her chair on the couch and ran to help the hero, who was about to fall on the ground. The weight of her hurt body was almost enough to make her fall, but she was able to find balance before her left gave in.

 

The strong smell of fish and salted water invaded her nostrils and the sickness was inevitable.

 

“Jesus, Kara, what happened?” the hero didn’t answer, she just sighed and swallowed the lump in her throat.

 

Feeling pain was something unusual, and though Kara had experienced it before, now it felt different. It was a much more real pain, more palpable. She was taken to the bathroom, Lena sat on the edge of the bathtub and turned the shower’s hot water on. Kara was barely able to lift her arms or raise her head. Everything ached, stung and the warm blood was still running down her left arm, causing her to close her eyes and hold back the stubborn tears. She didn’t want to cry, she wasn’t a child anymore, but she also didn't know how to deal with that sort of thing. Kara observed Lena walk in circles, go in and out of the bathroom. Suddenly, she felt the cold hands hold her face, an angelical touch, forcing Kara to look up and meet the concerned green eyes.

 

“Do you think you can stand?” Lena asked and Kara denied silently “okay, I need you to lean on me.”

 

They moved slowly, Kara put her arms around her shoulder and Lena held her waist. The proximity was something new, it had been weeks since they were able to hold each other without falling apart. In that position, Kara was able to see the shades of blue and green that mixed in her irises, the beginning of her eyelashes that were blonde, the scar under her eyebrows and she could feel the familiar scent of her perfume. And that sent her tears over the edges because the emptiness in her heart hurt much more than any bruise or cut on her body. She sobbed silently and tried not to show too much of what she was feeling.

 

“Just take a deep breath,” she asked concerned “may I?” Lena pointed to the suit's zipper. Seeing her naked, after so much time, was going to spark an old flame inside her body, because, yes, Kara was very attractive in her eyes. However, Lena feared she wasn’t going to be able to deal with the sight of Kara hurt. All she would feel at that would be anguish and pain.

 

“Y-yeah” she whispered.

 

Carefully and subtly, her suit was undone and tossed on a corner. Kara felt the cold breeze mistreated her hot skin, making it shiver and her legs shoot. Lena maintained her arms strong around her waist, never letting go or tightening it too much. They walked to the shower, Kara stood little by little under the hot water, Lena’s fingers tracing her hair down slowly and helping the liquid run down the dry blood on her face. Kara’s muscles complained at every movement and her nose stung if she wrinkled it.

 

“Raise your head slowly… just like that” Lena said quietly “if it hurts too much, tell me. I have to wash you with soap so it’s going to burn, okay?”

 

“Okay” Kara nodded, hissing as she felt the soap on her arm.

 

“Alex told me you were coming and she’s on her way with the yellow sun lamps” Lena commented “you should have gone to the DEO, you need to rest and wait for the wounds to…”

 

“I wanted to come home” Kara interrupted “I wanted to see you two…”

 

Lena felt her heart sink on her chest at the sad tone of Kara’s voice. Broken.

 

“Why can’t she just talk to me?” she continued, crying again “she is… I just wanted… to understand…”

 

Silence reigned because Kara needed that moment to fall apart and Lena understood it. She carried on washing her body, taking extra care on her arm, and removing the sand from her neck. Her skirt was drenched now, her white shirt was transparent but Lena didn’t care. She thanked every divine being that Lizzie was asleep.

 

“I always thought me and Clark were the last ones, but then she shows up and doesn’t even… doesn’t even look for anyone and…” she sighed, groaning at the soap touching a scratch on her back.

 

“Reign is kryptonian” Lena looked for assurance and received a nod “what is that symbol she wears?”

 

“On Krypton there were houses and each house has its own coat of arms” Kara explained in a whisper “I never go to meet the others, but my aunt Astra used to talk about them, and how my father used to negotiate and manage all of them” the sudden memory brought the tears back.

 

And so, Lena understood everything. So that was the reason why Kara wanted to come home. She wanted to tell her story, to use the chance Lena had given her that morning.

 

“Would… would you tell me about Krypton?” Lena asked hesitantly, not entirely sure if she would be able to handle the truth “if you’re comfortable.”

 

“The sun was so red it felt like it was sunset all morning” Kara closed her eyes and went back twenty years in time “the architecture was based on geometric shapes and Argo City’s organization was enviable when compared to anything here on Earth and the technology was impressive” Kara smiled weakly, aware that the words were escaping her mouth without any filter “my father would love to meet you, and you would definitely be introduced to every lab there, you’d be amazed by the advancement there and I don’t think I’d be able to get you out of there” Lena smiled without even realizing it “I always educated by the best teachers there to be part of the scientifical area, but I loved the arts, the language and the body expressions” she confessed, dreamfully “my aunt Astra used to take me with her to the lab, she’d let me sit on her lap and would explain every experiment she was studying. My mom thought it was absurd because she was part of the military was supposed to be focusing on her work.”

 

“I’m sure Astra dedicated a lot to both areas” Lena added, making Kara smile.

 

“You’re right, she did” Kara agreed and sighed, turning her back to Lena so she could wash her hair “I could see the most distant stars from my room, it wasn’t like the sky from here, it was clearer, more intense and colorful. My mom used to say I had a good eye to see the universe, always seeing things no one else did” once again, her eyes teared up “sometimes, when I look at the sky at night, I can almost see the star that’s left of Krypton, though I knew it’s going to take light-years for it to shine on Earth” she sobbed, losing balance and palming the way to lean on something.

 

Lena held her waist again and thought that making Kara talk was too much maybe. Losing her mother in such a tragic, sudden way, always haunted Lena’s dreams, however, she wasn’t capable of understanding or comprehending, the immensity of the pain Kara hid in her chest. It was out of any human comprehension, no one would be able to soften the damage caused on Kara’s heart.

 

When Kara tried to speak again, another sob echoed through the bathroom.

 

“My parents gave me so much and I was loved, more than I can express” Kara turned to look at the CEO, vulnerable body and soul, bleeding tears and words “when my parents put me in that pod on Krypton, I didn’t… I didn’t realize what was happening… I-I didn’t know what was goodbye forever” she sobbed and Lena began crying too, though she was fighting her whole being not to “And I saw… Krypton explode behind me, throwing on my shoulders a reality that I didn’t even understand… and then I was stuck, floating in space for so long, knowing that I would never have my life back…” the water was dripping down her hair, the bruised nose was slowly fading, turning purple to yellow and Kara tried her best not to move so her body wouldn’t hurt more “Everything was so quiet…” she whispered “the silence was the worst part… I felt completely isolated from everything and everyone I had known. I remember being alone in that pod, unsure if I would ever see anyone again. And so I ended up here, Clark was Superman and he didn’t need me, he didn’t even ask what had happened, didn’t ask if I was okay if I needed anything!” her voice was bitter and the grudge was evident “and no one asked me if I wanted these powers. The Danvers told me to hide them, asked me to be more human when all I wanted to do was help people with what was given to me and no one let me do anything!”

 

Lena held her tighter and let her show every open wound in her heart. Every scar. Every corroded piece of her heart.

 

“When I saw Alex nearly die on that plane, I couldn’t... I couldn’t...” she sobbed “I couldn’t just let her die knowing I could’ve done something, but as soon as I went back to my apartment, I felt like I had finally found my place in the world. It… It was so right, so amazing and I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs because finally, Lena, I was finally feeling good. I tried to be Kara Danvers for fifteen years, but I shouldn’t be her, I shouldn’t be human. I’m not human” the truth came out again, but now it didn’t hurt. Now Lena didn’t feel the ache in her chest, because now she was making sense of that secret “when my parents put me on that pod, I felt so angry, angry because no one explained what was happening to me, and I was abandoned, twice. By my own family” she was referring to her parents and Kal-El “Supergirl is strong, she is fierce and I can be her when Kara Danvers, the reporter, is broken. I didn’t lie to you because I didn’t trust our friendship, or because I didn’t believe your words, or because I didn’t want to take responsibility for our daughter, it just turns out that being a hero and falling in love are hard things to deal with” she turned to the woman next to her, embarrassed by her past actions and trying to show precisely the fear she felt then “I chose Supergirl over a relationship because I know I can’t have both. I thought that I could have Mon-El because he was everything I was looking for in a perfect partner for game night… but then I realized I had you. I couldn’t lose you, Lena” Kara lifted her hands slowly and held Lena’s face. As one holds the world between their palms, as someone that is desperately trying to put their souls out “when you started to believe in me as a human, everything seemed incredible and right. I didn’t want to lose my human part because it was the part that had you, the one I could be weak and vulnerable. All my life I tried to be human and you were able to bring meaning to this, a reason and a value for me to keep trying. I just wanted to have you with me, not needing to be the hero that everyone expects me to be” she was whispering now “silly me to have such a human heart…”

 

And, with those last words, Lena didn’t know what to say. When she asked for the truth, when Lena decided she would give Kara a chance to explain herself, she didn’t think all of that would follow. All that burden. Evert revelation was written in Lena’s soul, becoming part of her, transforming into her own pain. Kara freed her face, the tears were still streaming down and she had never looked so human. It didn’t matter if she was or wasn’t the girl of steel, or if people were expecting her daily self-sacrifice as a habit, right now, she was the woman who lost her family, who woke up alone after twenty-four years in the dark. That was Kara Zor-El, not Supegirl or even Kara Danvers.

 

That was her real self. And Lena had never felt so small, so powerless.

 

Silence tore around the room, Kara could hear Lena’s heartbeat pound fast, and her daughter's calm breathing in her nursery. She wasn’t expecting an answer, to be honest, she wasn’t expecting anything. That was her only chance of being honest about everything.

 

Lena stepped forward and embraced her body in a warm, painful hug. And Kara broke down in it.

 

“Who you are as Supergirl and as Kara Danvers, that’s what defines you” Lena whispered, ignoring the trembling on her lips “but Supergirl is what you can do and Kara is who you really are inside. You’re Alex’s sister, Winn’s best friend, you’re Lizzie’s mother” she moved away slightly and held her face, finally letting the tears go “and you’re still my favorite person.”

Notes:

Don'r forget to leave kudos and comments!

I'll see you all next Tuesday!

Chapter 25: Shelter From Storm

Notes:

Hello, again!

How are you guys feeling this Tuesday? Lorde is back, summer is here, are we all good???

This chapter has 12K words people, so, y'know, you're welcome.

Enjoy the story!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Two months went by and a strange, unusual peace was surrounding everyone’s lives. Though they were used to the chaos, a moment of tranquility was always welcome, especially for the hero who needed more time with her family. Nothing grotesque or problematic happened in National City beside the routine crimes and troublemaker aliens. The Reign situation was left aside, for Supergirl’s own physiological and emotional well-being. Yeah, the mysterious black-caped woman with red eyes still showed up, did her part, and vanished with the sun. No one had the guts to try to stop her and they decided to let her help, for now, while it was offered quietly.

As long as she didn’t screw up, the DEO wouldn’t bother her. At least for now.

Kara and Clark were still talking to each other, trading articles and leads on the meta-human situation, now that the lab results had confirmed that the same radioactive element found in his body had been taken from one of the warehouses in Metropolis. Lois was also helping with the information since she was good at her reporter job and had the best contacts. She still insisted on talking to Lena, to interrogate her and ask for Lilian to answer some questions. But Kara didn’t hesitate and established that no one was dragging Lena into that. Kara also lied. She lied because it was necessary and she wouldn’t let anyone ruin what she was building, or better, rebuilding. Lois and Clark asked her if Lena had heard from her mom or knew anything about her whereabouts in the last months and Kara lied, saying that, since the birth of her daughter, Lilian hasn't shown up.

J’onn knew that was a lie because she and Alex informed him that Lilian had appeared for an unexpected visit. He was family and Danver’s sisters trusted him. So, the DEO installed alarms and security equipment in Lena’s apartment and any presence from anyone with Luthor DNA there would sound the alarm in the department.

As the weeks passed, Kara and Alex got more involved in the case and searched for more leads regarding the man’s disappearance. They found out that not only he had been kidnapped, but the other four men had the same destiny but were simply discarded. The local police didn’t notify the FBI because they didn’t think it was a big deal, most were young workmen, coming from poor families from the suburbs. The DEO asked for the bodies' rescue but only found a few things since the bodies were already in a late decomposition state and that didn’t help with the biological material preservation. Still, Winn insisted on having them brought in because each radioactive material had its time to decompose and it could take years. J’onn authorized it and the agent’s work became more lab and field.

While Kara was working a part-time job as Supergirl and tried to write her articles at home, Lena began to visit Sam in her apartment to discuss L-Corp’s plans for the following six months. It was good for Lena to go out, leave the penthouse, breathe some fresh air and take Lizzie for a stroll. The girl demanded a lot of effort and both Lena and Kara ended up exhausted if they stayed the whole day inside. Kara recommended for Lena to go visit Ramona and Julie more, for her to have Winn and Alex there more, and to slowly return to the CEO position. The Luthor missed the company, deciding projects, visiting labs, and organizing meetings, but, no matter how much she loved her job, Lena loved her daughter more, and she was still too young to be left with someone else. Besides, Lena would never hire a babysitter, she didn’t trust anyone besides Kara and her friends.

So, the afternoons began to be spent with Sam and Ruby. While the adults read long reports, discussed plans, and signed documents, Ruby finished her homework and kept an eye on Lizzie. The best part was that Agnes accompanied them too, and Lena missed her old partner a lot. It was on that thought that she decided to bring Agnes back home since Lizzie and the dog seemed to get along well. In fact, the furball developed a protective instinct towards the girl, and would always lay down next to her baby seat. The puppies weren’t puppies anymore and so they were ready for adoption. Lena’s heart tightened at the thought of separating, or of Agnes missing her children and although Lena knew it was childish, she still cared.

Winn and Alex came up with a solution on a Saturday night after a special dinner night that Lena prepared. It was Lena’s idea since she was tired of stepping around each other, measuring her actions and words. After the conversation she had with Kara, after finding out the truth about her history and how it hurt to carry that burden, Lena allowed her heart to slowly forgive her. It was a long process, but a necessary one. And everyone needed to know that, so they could feel that relief. She and Kara were in good waters. At dinner, Winn commented that he had been wanting a dog for a while and Alex said Ruby needed a summer holiday distraction. And so, Krypto ended up getting an excited older sister to play with and Leah got a delicate, attentive dad.

Sam continued to run L-Corp with fierceness and determination, building a good reputation for the company. Everyone admired her and liked her way of seeing science. However, the employees missed their old boss and asked how she was doing every day. Sam would still wake up in strange places, lost and without memories of what happened, but she was dealing with it better since Alex always showed up to rescue her. She went to the DEO on the weekend to run some tests and cried, scared of finding the truth. Alex helped her breathe and promised she would fix that problem and that she was with her until the end. After all, they were a family. They continued to frequent each other’s places and Ruby liked that she could choose where she would sleep now since she now had her own room in Aunt Alex’s house.

The weeks went by, spring came to an end and was replaced by an overwhelmingly hot summer in California. The Luthor-Danvers family learned how to get through each day and how to recognize and accept that everyone had a burden to carry and a way to deal with it. Kara continued to talk about her planet, her parents, her old friends, and how much she missed all of it. Lena would listen attentively and memorize every detail, waiting for Kara to finish her venting to then hug her and let her cry on her shoulder. Hugging became a recurrent thing between them, bringing back a piece of the friendship they used to have. The pain diminished, but it was still there, but it was less and softer. They both allowed themselves to forgive, to the words and their broken hearts.

They learned that together they could put the pieces back together faster than alone.

Still, they couldn’t affirm they would date again one day, or even consider a relationship further than friendship. Yeah, they still used the words ‘best friend’ to define each other, but now they were also the mothers of a little girl. And Lizzie was the sunlight in their lives. They would share tasks, organizing a different routine every month, because the baby would grow and get more agitated every day. And more starved, for her mother’s despair. The number of baby bottles in the fridge duplicated, the diapers were stacked in piles in her closet and many clothes were already too short and tight. The little kryptonian gained weight, her cheeks grew and she got a lot of attention due to her shiny blue eyes. Besides, the baby now would mumble unintelligible things.

Kara would tease her and say Lizzie was actually speaking kryptonian and she was understanding everything. Lena would just roll her eyes and ignore it, though she thought the interaction between mother and daughter was cute.

The apartment was never clean, the mess would take every inch over. Slowly, Kara’s things got mixed with Lena’s, from her clothes on the washing machine to the books in the living room and, among that, Lizzie’s toys made everything more colorful. The number of frames grew, the photographer came to make the newborn, one week after Lizzie’s birth and then delivered all the albums, frames and figured out what the sixth-month shoot theme would be. On the shelves and in the nursery, there were frames of her mothers holding her on the first stroll at the mall, a picture of the first time Alex showered her, Ruby holding her, James making a funny face when Winn menaced at the smell coming from her diaper, Eliza putting her to sleep, J’onn kissing her cheeks and so on. One big, happy family.

The memory Lena loved the most out of all of those was the frame Kara gave her as a present last month, one that she put in all the stages of her pregnancy. Every time Lena looked at herself in those, observing the growth of her belly, she felt less guilty about rejecting Lizzie at first. And Kara knew she needed those reminders, the ones that would tell her she was always an amazing mother. It was a surprise gift when she received it, Lena could barely remember when Kara took those pictures. Crying was pretty much her first reaction, and then she embraced her, thanking Kara for never leaving her aside.

Lizzie was full of surprises. Her first appointment at the doctor was a success, Eva, the pediatrician, though she was very charming and pleasant. Cameron explained to her that she was a peculiar child, she said that she probably wouldn’t be like any other common child and asked for secrecy. Alex persuaded Lena to make her sign the DEO protocol, just for a matter of safety. And she was also becoming overprotective of her niece. But Lizzie was growing normally, gaining weight fast, and already picking up on sounds, colors, and smells. She was vaccinated every month and by now hadn’t been sick or developed any allergic reaction. While she was taken care of by her polite doctor, Lizzie was usually accompanied by her auntie bear; which usually ended in her godfather and her grandpa J’onn fighting for her attention.

Lizzie’s powers hadn’t manifested yet and Alex couldn’t tell if she would ever get them. Her super-hearing was still oversensitive, but nothing beyond that. Kara and Lena didn’t mind, because their daughter was still too young to worry about things like that. They continued their routine as moms, reporters, and CEO. The pace never slowed down, tiredness was an old friend and while work took their breath, Lizzie sucked all their energy. Agnes ended up having to adapt to some limits since her sister’s arrival, she wasn’t allowed to chew on the baby’s toys or lick her face. Though it was irresistible.

And the last surprise from the little Luthor was her learning to turn upside down, belly to the ground. And her mothers would die of cuteness every time she repeated the movement.

As the weather became hotter, all the windows and doors were always open. Lena didn’t want to turn on the air conditioner during the day, afraid her daughter would catch a cold, so Kara began to cover the living room’s floor with a blanket, putting on a few toys and pillows over it and dressed her daughter only in diapers and a thin shirt. The weekends were always like this, Lizzie lying down with her legs up, mumbling in her private language, while Agnes slept next to her, Lena read an important document in her notebook and Kara sat on the other side of the couch, explaining the story behind the silly cartoon on the tv.

Lena never thought she was going to use those kids' channels on the television, but there she was, listening to Kara tell a story about a bear who was friends with a tiger and a cowardly pink piglet.

 

***

 

The sun began to shine early, warming National City up in just a few hours. Now the summer vacations were officially on for everyone and the families enjoyed the time to travel to the beach, visiting the seaside, and relishing the sun and free time. July came bringing the humid breeze from the Pacific, that glued to Lena’s body while she was still asleep. It felt good to sleep three hours in a row, knowing that her daughter was with her other mom, probably feeding or playing on the floor. Lena sighed and pushed the blankets aside, looking at the air conditioner’s remote, at least at night she could have a cold room since Lizzie’s body temperature was much higher than the human one and the heat bothered her sleep. Kara began to do the same and she thanked Rao for the magnificent creation, though she didn’t feel hot like normal people.

As Lena made her way to the living room, her heart skipped a beat and her eyes met three figures on the carpet, eyes glued to the television: Kara, Lizzie, and Agnes. However, Kara made a small pillow wall, one that could look like a castle. Agnes was buried under the baby’s pajamas while Lizzie rolled from one side to another only wearing a diaper. Kara, much to Lena’s gay panic despair, was wearing her MIT shirt, which was big enough to fit two people there. And her legs were exposed, covering only a part of her thighs. Lena swallowed dry and tried to push that image away from her head.

She was somewhat used to having that kind of intimacy with Kara. They were girlfriends once, so it shouldn’t feel so intense. But it did, and Lena felt her body warm-up higher than the city’s weather. She continued her way to the kitchen and drank a glass full of water, uselessly trying to satisfy her thirst. Which obviously wasn’t for water.

“Hey, do you have room for one more?” Lena asked, kneeling down in front of the pillow forte. Agnes barked and shook her tail, tremendously happy to see her mother awake.

“Seedy, let’s give your mama some space?” Kara asked and Lizzie mumbled loudly, swirling on her belly “she says good morning” Kara smiled watching the other woman arch a brow.

“Ah, yes,” Lena smirked, “because you always know what she says” she lied down in front of Kara, putting her daughter between them and taking her time to caress the bare back “why is she only in a diaper?”

“Uh… it was hot” Kara felt her face burn “a-and I thought it would be best to get rid of the pajamas and she is already fed” she pointed out, rather proudly.

Lena cocked a brow again.

“How many times?” Lena turned to Lizzie and then back to the blue eyes again “Kara…”

“She was hungry!” Kara argued, “maybe she has had four bottles and maybe I had all the cookies in the jar… and the strawberry yogurts and the potato chips that you bought yesterday, but I… er, I was hungry…”

“Lizzie, your yeyu uses you as an excuse to eat exaggeratedly,” Lena said softly and Kara gasped, pretending to be offended.

“That’s a lie, don’t believe her!” Kara took the baby and laid her on her belly “you know I’m right, don’t you” she looked at the blue eyes and felt Lena’s stare on her from the side “you mom doesn’t understand that we are very hungry and very hot.”

“You don’t even sweat!” Lena exclaimed and turned to caress Agnes’ ears “no kryptonian in this household had the right to complain about hotness.”

“What about the hunger part?” They look at each other. Lizzie was still lying down on Kara, who had messy hair, no glasses, and was wearing a childish smile.

Lena sighed and tried not to think about how wonderful it felt to have peaceful days like those. And how intense the blue eyes directed at her felt.

“Okay, but four bottles is too much,” Lena pointed out, “and we have to go grocery shopping, again” it was the eighth time that month. Kara would always try to help with the bills, wanting to share the expenses, especially the grocery ones, but of course, the CEO wouldn’t let it. It was Lena’s idea for them to live together, but she didn’t know then that Kara was a starved alien 24/7. At the end of the day, so Kara could join in, they would go for the weekend’s food, like pizzas and the beloved potstickers.

And they would divide the expenses when it came to Lizzie, after all, they were both mothers. Lena actually designed an excel board on it and emailed it to Kara, so they would have perfect control over it.

“We can go after the consultation, so we don’t have to go out twice” Kara suggested and Lena nodded “I made a video of her today and sent it to you,” she said smiling and giving the baby to her.

“Hello my love, did you enjoy your yeyu very much” Lena murmured tenderly, embracing her softly and kissing her cheeks “I love you, you know that?” Kara sighed at the sight and rested her head on her hand, charmed by the scene “today we’re going to visit aunt Eva.”

A grumble was heard next to her.

“Do we really need to go?” Kara rubbed her eyes, dramatizing it even more.

“I thought we were past that phase, dear” the pet name escaped her lips and Lena mentally cursed herself for it, but unlike Lena, Kara felt butterflies in her stomach.

“Uh…” Kara scoffed “today is vaccination day…”

“It’s just a sting, it doesn’t even hurt that much” Lena calmed it down but Kara’s eyes widened in total disbelief.

“She almost dies from crying! How doesn't it hurt?” Kara sighed “Seedy, your mom is so insensitive but I’ll be there to protect you, I promise” she kissed the small hands and heard her mumble again.

“What would she be without her super mom, huh?” Lena teased “do you think that super mom can give the super baby a nice shower?”

“Yeah!” Kara almost jumped up and knocked the pillow wall down. Agnes barked and got up attentively “you’re next up Agnes, don’t even try to hide!” she pointed to the dog who looked down and went straight to the laundry room.

They snorted and got up. Lena prepared a bath, checking the water temperature and getting the hygiene products while Kara hummed a song and undressed the baby over the changer.

“Look at this foot” Kara commented, walking into the bathroom “how come you don’t want to feed such a cute little thing?”

“This cute little thing needs to learn when to stop eating, Kara,” Lena laughed.

“Liz, don’t soak everything!” Lena dried her arm and Kara laughed out loud.

“I think your mom doesn’t like water” Kara looked at her and then splashed a bit of water on the Luthor, getting her by surprise.

“Kara!” Lena complained and the agitated little legs moved again, soaking everything around her “Lizzie!”

Kara snorted and when she was least expecting, her whole face was wet, alongside her shirt. She gasped and squinted her eyes, astonished and speechless as she didn’t know how to react.

“You… you didn’t…” before she could formulate a sentence, Lizzie moved again and screamed excitedly, not quite understanding what was happening but aware that it was fun “Lizzie, you are terrible!”

“Who do you think she got it from?” Lena teased, arching a brow and Kara had to take a deep breath before thinking about responding “there, there, you can get the towel.”

Kara obeyed and carried her daughter, who was grumbling and threatening to cry since she was taken out of the water. When Lena grabbed her, she soon looked for her mother’s breasts, hungry again and irritated that the fun was over. They laughed, aware that their girl was a stubborn one, a perfect mix of Luthor and Zor-El Danvers. Since she was ignored and put in the crib, Lizzie screamed and the loud crying invaded the room. Lizzie squirmed, pushing the towel from her legs and soon her white skin became reddened.

“Rao! She is just like you” Kara teased, listening to the Luthor grumble “baby, there’s no need to cry, we’re just going to change clothes…” Kara tried to explain, fighting the squirming baby so she would stay in place.

“Can you deal with her while I change?” Lena asked, just to make sure. Kara’s panic attacks had decreased but weren’t completely gone yet.

“Yeah, but she won’t stop crying” Kara pointed out and of that Lena was aware

“Put the clothes that are on the changer on her, I’m just going to get dressed and will be back to feed her” Lena was quick and Kara nodded.

Lizzie, when she realized that her mother had left the room, began crying even louder, making Kara sigh. She ignored the shrill complaints, though her heart was aching at the screaming, and put the clothes on her. She knew her daughter could be quite dramatic sometimes but it still felt horrible to see her get red from crying and the small tears running down her little cheeks. Kara tried to talk to her, distract her, but it was no use. Lizzie was definitely the juxtaposition of Kara’s hunger and Lena’s stubbornness.

“There, there…” Lena reappeared and took her in her arms, hearing the crying increase “go get changed, she’ll calm down” Kara nodded.

“She can be pretty scandalous when she’s hungry” Kara commented and Lena simply cocked a brow “okay, I know who she got that from” she giggled and left the room.

“We know that too, don’t we, baby?” Lena murmured. She sat down and undid her bra, in no time, Lizzie caught her nipple as if she had been starving for days “did you get this drama from me or from your yeyu?” she joked again but the girl closed her eyes and wrinkled my nose, to show she was still upset. Lena cleaned her face and smiled “my little kryptonian.”

As she returned, Kara saw that Lena was finishing getting Lizzie things, who was calmer now, playing with her pacifier. Kara smiled and kissed the thin hairs, whispering a soft I love you in her mother tongue, a small habit that Kara got every night before bed and every day after waking up. She couldn’t wait to teach her the language once she was older. She turned to Lena again and noticed her body had become what it was before the pregnancy, even a bit more thinner, which was normal because of the breastfeeding. She was also back to wearing impeccable clothes and high heels. Beautiful as always, Kara thought in silence.

“What?” Lena asked as Kara was staring at her and saw her cheeks grow red.

“Nothing…. uh, I like your skirt” that wasn’t a lie “it matches Lizzie’s clothes” she turned to her daughter “she looks more and more like you.”

“She still reminds me a lot like you, though I’ve never seen a picture of you as a baby” Lena stepped closer to the crib and the girl looked at her mothers, blue shiny eyes “Liz looks at me the same way that you do” with love, Lena wanted to add, but didn’t have the guts.

“We sure know how to make a pretty baby” she spat the phrase, unnoticed “Rao! I-I’m… I didn’t mean… oh, Rao, it wasn’t in that sense and…”

Lena giggled and rolled her eyes.

“I agree with you, Kara,” she smiled “though she wasn’t made the normal human way” Kara tried not to blush again “c’mon, the driver is waiting.”

 

***


The doctor’s office was busy that morning and most mothers seemed too preoccupied to interact with one another. Some kids were playing in the corner with their respective toys and others were in the reading room, a great idea for a waiting room. National City had a virus outbreak, something usual for that time of the year. Lena sighed and tried to ignore the looks that followed her steps, indicating a seat for Kara to sit with Lizzie, since the girl fell asleep in her arms on the way there. It was impossible not to feel intimidated by the looks of the curious mothers there. Though it wasn’t a surprise for anyone that read the news that Lena Luthor was, in fact, a mother. Every day it became harder for her to leave the penthouse and avoid people trying to make money on the face of the new Luthor legacy heir. And the other question was, who was that blonde woman next to her? Some people knew they were in a relationship and that her name was Kara Danvers, a reporter from CatCo, but what was her relationship with the baby? What was she really for the CEO?

There were so many unanswered questions that they agreed to do their best to hide Lizzie and her face. Also, Lena believed it was safer, on certain occasions, for one of her security guards to accompany her, so nothing would surprise her. Supergirl was still their best card at any given time, the hero, no matter time or place, would do anything to keep her family safe from anyone. However, even that needed some policy, no one could know that the girl of steel was involved there, otherwise, it would be chaos. Lilian’s words were still living inside Lena’s mind, reminding her of the danger, of how it would be better to hide the fact that her daughter was alien, but she would bury them deep in a dark corner of her brain, Lena didn’t want to ruin anything or be paranoid, more than she already was. Being a Luthor, being a mother, living with a Super, neither of these were easy things. The universe would never allow it to work out. So, they both avoided interviews, pictures, and any kind of social media. Her daughter’s memories would be kept in the family and they were all aware of that decision and agreed completely on it, James was also helping with the press, distracting any kind of attention towards Lena Luthor and her daughter.

The only time they were exposed was during doctor appointments, since there was no hiding there. Lena used the fact that Alex had taken a DEO protocol for the pediatrician to sign and sent one for the secretary too since it was better to be safe than sorry. No information would leave that place without her or Kara’s permission. And if anything happened, they would all be called in to answer some questions at the department and would deal with the consequences. J’onn promised he would take care of his little granddaughter and was doing his best to keep his word. The martian ended up becoming a soft grandpa.

“Lizzie Luthor Danvers,” the secretary called twenty minutes later. Kara was still holding the baby, who was now very awake and they got up.

As they walked to the door, they were greeted by a smiley woman with brown hair and red lips. Eva Zambrano was an energetic presence, she had an accent that showed her probable foreignness, and her charisma, alongside the charming humor, was capable of cheering anyone up. There was a reason for Kara and Lena to trust her with their daughter. Sure, Cameron had assured them that the doctor was very competent at her job and had what it took. Lizzie really liked her and the way she would tickle her belly and make her laugh. Anytime the moms needed help, an urgent consult, answers to doubts, or immediate reassurance, Eva was always there, even in the middle of the night, and was the hero for the girl’s moms. During those three months, she accompanied Lizzie’s development, kept up with the most important changes, organized her vaccination document, and made sure she was healthy, always giving more options for her milk feeding. For now, only Lena was feeding her, however, it was becoming more and more complicated to supply for the baby kryptonian hunger. Kara would help Lena stock the milk and try to assist on the times she was allowed to, but Lizzie was growing and so was her appetite. And it was already hard to control her.

“Good afternoon, Kara and Lena” Eva pointed to the chairs in front of her “how’s my little girl.”

“Agitated, hungry and very, very hot” Lena summarized jokingly “but she is okay.”

“Well, this weather has been hard on all of us, the number of people in the waiting room can prove to you that” they nodded “how are the gramps and the sleep schedule?”

“She has been sleeping longer during the night,” Lena answered, turning to Kara, who smiled.

“Actually, she kind of chose a time she likes to sleep more, I think” Kara concluded and Lena agreed “the cramps are pretty much gone, though she’s still eating 24/7” she looked down, guilty “and maybe I have something to do with that…”

Eva laughed and thought the embarrassment was cute.

“That’s alright, it’s usual for the hunger to grow, especially because she’s spending more time awake, and is also interacting and moving more” the doctor explained “she also is a natural eater, her metabolism is pretty different from what we’re used to” she pointed out, taking a look at the exams Lena would always bring from the DEO “any significant changes that you noticed?”

“Nothing beyond the sensitive hearing” Lena answered “she is becoming more perceptive and learned how to swirl on her belly” Kara nodded excitedly, moving the baby on her lap “but nothing has manifested yet.”

“From what I gather here, the amount of epithelial human cells has decreased, but thee other star-like cells, called KP9, are increasing” she sighed “the percentage of leukocytes, red cells, and the others are at a good proportion with the KP4 and that grant us time, maybe, if she is to show any physical changes” Eva smiled tenderly “Cameron explained to me that you had some manifestations in your body during the pregnancy, so we can’t just ignore that” Lena nodded “we are going to continue with the vaccines, and the most humane treatment and I’m going to need these same exams monthly, okay?” they agreed, “bring her over here” Eva called and they went to the other side of the room, where there stood a couch, some toys, silly decors, and childish paintings. The walls were painted in a soft shade of green and filled with cartoon character stickers and the medical gadgets were organized on a brown shelf just above the sink. The smell of plastic from the gloves mixed with the sweet scent from the colorful sheets.

Although Alex had full control and access to her niece’s development, running a checklist every month, evaluating her exams and growth, Lena rathered take her daughter to a common pediatrician, Lizzie deserved to have a doctor like a normal kid, outside a secret department where agents went to work and aliens were taken to interrogation rooms. Lena liked the feeling of having a normal life, to have control over what she knew and who had access to her daughter’s life. It was one thing to accept J’onn, a martian, as the girl’s grandfather, or that her other mother was an alien with a tragic backstory. But to accept for Lizzie to be taken to a hostile and dangerous place, with so many species and questionable people, was a whole different thing. Lena would never forgive herself if someone from there managed to hit her because of the situation with the city’s hero.

When Cameron told doctor Zambrano about Lizzie’s peculiar situation, Kara was mad, she didn’t want that secret to go around like that. However, she knew it was necessary. A necessary evil. Eva wouldn’t be able to understand what she was dealing with if she didn’t know Kara’s real identity and the way Lena got pregnant. And so, Alison assured that the doctor wouldn’t say a thing, because of the doctor-patient agreement and because Alison knew her well. Eva and Alison were married for almost ten years now and had two kids, which could be seen in the frames on Eva’s desk. Still, both of them had to sign the DEO papers, because Alex wouldn’t be able to sleep until she was thoroughly sure that her niece was in good hands.

“You can lie her down and take off her clothes,” Eva said and Lena put the pacifier on her mouth, to avoid crying, and undressed her “hey, little one, let’s see how you’re doing?” she smiled and Lizzie squirmed excitedly.

“Are those red dots on her skin normal?” Kara asked, “they started showing this month.”

“Don’t worry, that happened because of the heat” Eva explained while checking her ears and then the heartbeat “some babies get them a lot on their cheeks or necks, but it isn’t anything serious.”

Eva took the girl and placed her on the weighing machine, writing her current weight down. Then, she lied to the girl again and measured her height, verifying that she was indeed growing faster than a normal human child. Her heart was strong, nothing was indicating morphological changes in her ears, nothing physical to explain the sensitive hearing and her weight made it clear how much she was able to eat.

“I’m having trouble breastfeeding her” Lena confessed, followed by a long defeated sigh “she is very hungry during the morning and evening and I can’t keep up with that appetite” Kara held her shoulders, trying to give her a little confidence.

“There’s no need to be upset about that, as I said earlier, we can include a formula on her food” Eva pointed out, though she knew Lena wouldn’t agree to it right away “that doesn’t mean she’s going to prefer the bottles over your milk, Lena.”

“I don’t like the idea of her choosing something else…” she sighed.

“And she won’t, Lizzie might actually not accept any offers we make her” Eva smiled “but you have to understand that the formula will only be a second choice when you need it, at times when you don’t have milk and she is hungry. It isn’t a substitute, it’s a plan B.”

“And how does it work?” Kara asked, “I mean, how will we know if she wants to, or if… she isn’t going to trade one for another?”

“We’ll only know if we try, it’s shot in the dark and, believe me, most babies reject the formulas, even though they have similar taste to the mother’s milk” they were surprised “children who are breastfed by their mother since birth have a tendency to refuse any other type of milk until the age of two.”

“Well, I’m not going to lie, I’m not sure I want her to accept it” Lena admitted and Eva smiled, understanding “but I can… try, I don’t want her to be hungry.”

“I’m going to give you all the information you need to know after we give this little doll her vaccine shot” Eva squeezed her belly and the baby laughed out loud “you can dress her again, the weight is normal and growing at the same rate as her height, The breathing is okay, same with the heartbeat and hearing. We are going to continue to keep an eye on the cramps and if they return, give her the same medication I prescribed before, okay?”

“Right, and when is she going to start speaking?” Kara asked and Lena looked at her a bit frightened “uh… I-I’m… I wanted it to be soon…”

Eva laughed and grabbed one of the syringes to prepare the shot.

“I believe it’s going to take a while but it’s only up to her, really” she pointed at the couch and Lena sat down, adjusting the baby on her lap. Lizzie, as she felt the cotton on her arm, dropped the pacifier and began crying.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Kara sighed, sitting next to her “we don’t even know if she can get sick…”

“That’s why we have to do it” Lena reached for her hand and squeezed it softly “I don’t like seeing her cry either.”

“I hate this,” Kara grumbled, clearly upset. Eva let the woman take their time.

“Ready?” she asked and Lena nodded, Lizzie increased the crying, squirming and moving desperately in her mother’s arms “hold her arm for me, please.”

“Baby, it’s quick, please make this easy” Lena asked softly, though her heart was aching.

The first shot was given and a shrilling scream cut through the room. Eva let the moms calm the girl down so she could apply the next one. It was never easy to hear her daughter cry, pained and scared, but if it was necessary. There were a lot of parents that chose not to accept the vaccines, claiming it was a way of profit for the pharmaceutical industry and the ‘sold’ diseases and a way to prevent it, but neither of them was willing to take that risk. Eva took a deep breath and prepared the next syringe, she cleaned the skin with cotton damped in alcohol.

“We’re almost done, Lizzie,” the doctor said while the little one still complained in loud cries “it’s very quick.”

“Rao! I can’t handle this…” Kara sighed, closing her eyes, controlling the need to cry with her daughter.

However, as the doctor tried to push the needle in her thigh, it broke in half. The three women looked at each other perplexed and then at the broken metal again. Eva, trying to prove a very important point, tried again. And again. And night syringes were able to enter the skin of steel of the little kryptonian. Lena turned to Kara, well aware of what that meant. And Kara smiled proudly, barely able to contain the satisfaction of knowing her daughter was just like her. Lizzie had a skin of steel, she had developed another part of her alien metabolism.

The crying continued to resonate, bringing them back to reality.

“I think this explains a lot,” Eva spoke carefully. “You can feed her, it’ll help calm her down, and well… you’re going to have to find another solution to the vaccines.”

“Does she still need them?” Kara questioned hopefully “she… she doesn’t, right?”

“Kara, she might have a skin of steel but we still don’t know if she can or can’t get sick” Lena explained, worried “we need Alex’s help with this.”

“Damn it…” she sighed, disappointed. Lizzie grabbed the Luthor’s bare breast as soon as she took it off her bra.

“I’m going to write you down the formula while she finishes eating, make yourselves comfortable, I’ll be back in a few minutes” Eva got up and they smiled as she walked out.

The silence made itself heard, leaving them in warm peace, the only sound heard was the sucking noise coming from Lizzie’s lips. Lena gently caressed her dark hair with her fingertips, fixing the band that matched her clothes, and then felt Kara’s presence next to her. The blonde gave her finger for Lizzie to hold, her eyes were still red from the crying and her face looked tired. It was in moments like that they realized how important it was for them to maintain that friendship because they would never be able to live in a reality in which they weren’t part of each other’s lives.

Kara laid her head on Lena’s shoulder and sighed quietly.

“I hate hearing her cry,” she confessed again.

“I know… me too” Lena admitted, “but not all of our decisions will be easy.”

“They never were” and Lena wasn’t quite sure what Kara was referring to now “nothing was ever simple for us.”

They turned their eyes to Lizzie again, who now was breathing calmly. No matter what happened from now on, they knew that their lives were changed forever,

And Lena barely realized she was still holding Kara’s hands.

 

***


Winn was too focused on his work to noticed Alex walked in with her girlfriend. In fact, that had become so usual that he stopped noticing. Both Lena and Sam were now frequent visitors, and the same went for Ruby and Lizzie. Though J’onn preferred discretion and the secrets of his work, he couldn’t say no to the presence of those people that soon became family for him. Both Kara and Alex had fought so hard to get the people that truly cared about their feelings. Winn still remembered when Alex’s engagement broke off abruptly and sadly, leaving her completely shattered and bringing to light old problems. When Sam showed up, alongside her daughter, it was like a new light of hope shone again in the agent’s heart.

And the same thing happened to Kara, though she wasn’t in a relationship with L-Corp’s CEO anymore.

The couple headed to the lab, where they continued the exams that started to be run at the beginning of the month. Sam was nervous as hell, worried about the results, or the lack of them. Alex would take flasks and flasks of blood, doing pet scams, ultrasounds, and many more tests and exams, hoping to prove nothing was wrong or, if something was, to find that error. However, nothing seemed to work. Alex explained continuously that the results were empty and didn’t lead to any hypothesis or proof. It was becoming tiring and desperate not to have an answer. Sam was worried about her health, her daughter’s safety, and her relationship.

Once again, they followed the protocol. Some procedures were repeated, more blood was drawn and Alex spent quite a while observing the cells on the immersive microscope. She would sigh, lost in her thoughts, while Sam waited patiently. She was waiting for a solution, anything that would calm her down. Something that could finally explain what the hell was going on inside her body.

“Anything?” Sam asked for the third time, but she knew the look Alex shot her. She knew the answer “Alex…”

“I’m so sorry…” Alex answered and pulled her in for a hug. Sam was still wearing the hospital gown and never looked so fragile. “I’m doing my best, I promise.”

“I… I can’t take this anymore…” she confessed in between tears. Crying was always her first instinct “how am I… going to take care of Ruby, how… how will I know she…”

“Don’t say that Samantha” Alex held her face and kissed her lips softly “Ruby is okay and we’re going to figure this out.”

“How many times are you going to repeat that? For how long are we going to pretend that this is working?” Sam questioned and Alex knew she was right. And her heart twinged.

“We just need to believe a little more, try and try” she sighed “maybe…”

Alex paused for a moment, scared of what she was going to propose. For now, everything was kept between them. Sam arched a brow, suspicious.

“Maybe?” she insisted “maybe what?”

“Nothing…”

“Alexandra Danvers!” Her body shivered. Nothing good happened when people called her full name.

“Okay, no need to call me that” she sighed and rolled her eyes “maybe we would get something if…” she scoffed, “we asked for help?”

Sam let that suggestion sink in and quickly wondered how that would affect her life. It wasn’t a bad idea, but she was afraid of who would be dragged into that mess and, in her opinion, it was already a bad thing to have her girlfriend involved. Sam felt guilty, extremely bad to ask her every time to pick her up in a strange place, no memory, no awareness of what she had done. It was getting worse and more frequent. They really needed someone who could speed up this process.

“Okay, who did you have in mind?” Sam agreed, curious.

“Well… there’s only one person that can fix this faster than me…”

In a matter of minutes, Lena stepped into the department that, lately, seemed like the meeting place of human and alien families. No agent even complained, especially because they got to meet and play with the famous baby. While the CEO made her way to the lab, Kara tried to balance the bag in one hand and Lizzie on the other, which didn’t last long, since Winn ran to grab her before J’onn monopolized the granddaughter. There was always an argument as to who would carry her first, but Alex always won, either from the annoying insistence of scary threats. Still grumbling, Kara let the godfather take her daughter to the other side of the room and she enjoyed that time to discuss Clark’s latest news with J’onn. That situation was also far from a solution.

Sam was still waiting for her friend’s arrival while trying not to freak out. Lena was her best friend, almost a younger sister to her and Sam would trust her with her life. She shouldn’t feel so nervous, but alas, she couldn’t help it.

Before Lena could enter the room, Alex stopped her by the door and took a deep breath. If they were going to do this, then Lena had to know it all. Absolutely all.

“There’s something you need to know” Alex spat the words in a whisper and Lena arched a brow.

“More than you already told me?” Lena asked suspiciously. She hated secrets and lies.

“In fact, it’s not new information… it’s just” She sighed “Sam doesn’t know I already found the problem” Alex averted her eyes “I didn’t tell her because I don’t know how to and I’m not entirely sure of what I found.”

“And what did you find?” Lena crossed her arms and heard Lizzie’s laugh far from them, followed by Winn’s.

“Do you remember when I showed you those star-shaped cells that mixed with yours?” Alex was still whispering, Lena nodded “I found the same samples in Sam’s blood. I also found others that I can’t identify, but that’s the truth, Lena” she sighed, tired “Sam isn’t human, she never was.”

And that hit the Luthor hard. Her brain quickly connected the dots. Of course, it made so much sense. Sam couldn’t remember anything, she would disappear out of nowhere and reappear in strange places. She had talked to her the week they spent working together and noticed how exhausted she looked and the concern she felt for her friend was palpable. Samantha wasn’t human and Reign was a mysterious woman that never answered anything and that Kara affirmed to be kryptonian. That only lead to one answer:

Sam was Reign.

“I can hear your brain working, Luthor” Alex tried to lighten the mood “I think it’s clear now, right.

“Of course it is, but I’m still trying to understand where I fit in all of this,” she pointed out smartly.

Alex sighed.

“I need to be sure of what I’m doing and what I’m dealing with. Sam can’t just simply get the news, she’s going to have questions and you know how she gets” Lena agreed “and I need to at least make sure she’s safe. You get that, right?”

And how she did. She understood it more than she wanted to, more than she could put into words. Safety, for Lena, was always accompanied by two words: Kara and Lizzie.

“Right, if we’re going to do this, it’s going to be my way” Lena was serious and Alex frowned “I need you to fully trust me and my decisions.”

“I trust you” Alex answered quickly. She’d never say otherwise “I wouldn’t have called if I didn’t.”

“I know. I trust you too” they smiled. It was weird to think that only one year ago they barely exchanged five words “I’m going to talk to Sam and explain to you part of what I want to do. I really need you to trust me.”

“Do you want me to sign something? Jesus, Lena, what’s with the mystery?” Alex questioned exasperatedly “Do what you got to do. I trust you.

“Okay, so we’re together in this one” Alex nodded with the sentence “until the end.”

“Just one more thing” Alex interrupted and Lena hesitated “don’t leave me in the dark about what you’re going to do. I know you’re really fucking smart and know what you’re doing, but I care. And I… I love her a lot and I can’t let this get to Ruby. It’s all I ask.

“You have a deal, Danvers” Lena smiled, sincere.

“Okay, let’s do this.”

“Wait” Lena barred and Alex stared at her, anguished with the waiting “I need to do it alone.”

"What do you mean? Why?” Was she really asking that?

“Calm down, I’m not going to do anything yet, I just need some time with her, Alex” she explained calmly “I care a lot too, and I love her as well, it’s just a few minutes.”

“Shit… okay” Alex rolled her eyes “ten minutes.”

“Fifteen.”

“Twelve.”

“Fuck off, I don’t need your permission” Lena retorted, making Alex smiled at the unpoliteness “I hate you.”

“It’s mutual” she teased like the perfect older sister “when you’re done, call me. I’m going to go get my niece from Winn” Alex said, going downstairs quickly, ready to argue with the guy.
Lena giggled and then regained her posture. Her friend was in there and Lena needed to be strong, she needed to show her she could help, though she wasn’t sure of what to do. After Lizzie was born, thinking about science, dealing with big picture problems that had nothing to do with cramps, dirty diapers, and empty baby bottles felt so far from her reality now. Lena could barely remember the woman she was before, the one who was always alone, thinking she would never find friends that wouldn’t be bothered by her name, loves that weren't built out of interest, and a functional family. Sure, she and Kara weren’t quite the definition of family, but Lena couldn’t complain. They got along just well, tried to figure everything out based on communication, and respected each other’s personal space. The romantic relationship was over but Lena was grateful that she didn’t lose Kara’s friendship.

She was her best friend and would continue to be forever if it was up to Lena. Kara was too important a person to let go of.

As Lena opened the door, she was greeted with the sight of an exhausted Sam, with the weight of the world on her shoulders and eyes lost on the empty walls. She smiled as she noticed the presence and Lena admired her so much for it, her ability to keep smiling at the most confusing moments. She walked to her side and pulled her for a tight hug, one that both of them needed. Sam cried painfully hiding her face in the black hair, sobbing and letting the anguish stream down her cheeks. Lena waited and let her crumble, she needed to allow herself to feel. She kissed the top of her head and stroked her shoulders, and promised herself that she would do everything she could for Sam to understand what was going on.


“Are you feeling better?” Lena murmured tenderly, moving a few strands of hair from her face.

“I think so, I don’t know…” she was honest “I just want answers, Lena. I need them.”

“I know and that’s why I’m here” she explained “we’re going to figure this out together. You, me, and Alex.”

“She hasn’t found anything yet and I get worried because she’s doing her best. I don't want her to get frustrated, this is too tiring for us” she sighed, upset.

“Alex loves you, I love you and you’re not alone” Lena pointed out “but I don’t think it’s fair for you to be benched. You’re just as smart as us, you can help us in this” Sam turned to her friend, confused, and frowned.

“And how would I do that?”

“Helping me with a personal project” that got Sam by surprise “I had put it aside once Lizzie was close to being born and especially after the whole truth… anyway” she sighed “this is an important project and can help you understand something about yourself.”

“Lena, go straight to the point, please” Sam cut it, impatiently.

“You’re just like Alex, God, Sam!” they laughed “come with me” Lena got up and reached for her hand, Sam accepted it, though a little doubtful.

They headed towards the microscope and Sam watched as her friend took a small white box from her bag. Inside, there were lab smears, with little red dots on them and some even in different colors. Sam frowned again but kept her questions to herself. Lena adjusted the device’s focus lens and then stepped back, asking for the other woman to take a look.

“What do you see?” Lena asked, crossing her arms and watching Sam analyze the samples.

“Human blood cells” Sam answered “and some star-like, in fact… they’re in both shapes, some separated and some put together with the red cells” Sam stepped back and turned to Lena “what am I looking at?”

“This is a sample of my own blood from when I was pregnant, Alex was the one who drew and analyzed them” Lena explained “that was how I found out Lizzie is immune to kryptonite. Somehow, the native cells mixed with the foreign ones. I still don’t know how, after all, my body should’ve seen them as invaders and destroyed them. I believe it’s some kind of mimicking device and they were able to trick my immune system.

“So… Lizzie is affected by kryptonite because she had both DNA combined.” Sam summarized “okay, and what’s your endgame here?”

“Well, my goal is to work on a way to create some kind of formula to an antidote” Lena spoke hesitantly, watching every trace of reaction on Sam’s face. “If we, perhaps, figure out the way the kryptonian cells work, we can build some sort of vaccine. Sure, we’re not working against a virus, but they act the same way, hiding in our cells and that can actually help us study them” Lena explained fascinated “what I want to say is that I want to find a way to make Supergirl immune, using samples from my blood and finding a result for this problem.”

Silence filled the room, but it wasn’t the worrying type. Sam was, in fact, just processing the idea.

“Lena, that’s…” she sighed, trying to find the right words “I don’t even know what to say, you’re clearly a genius. I’m in” Sam concluded, smiling and seeing Lena’s body relax “I just need more time to analyze each sample.”

“We’ll have enough time for that” Lena smiled back “Alex doesn’t know yet and I’m afraid we have a tough obstacle ahead…”

“What is it?”

“We’re going to need kryptonite.”

 

***


“Just one more!”

“Kara, no.”

“I swear it’s just one more, I promise!”

“You’ve said that the last four times and look where we are,” Lena pointed to the shopping cart.

“Please…”

And there it was, the damned pouting.

Shit.

“What have I gotten myself into?” Lena grumbled, not caring if Kara could hear her “okay, but this is the last time you’re going grocery shopping with me” she pointed out but Kara was too happy to care about the threat, after all, she had just gotten another box of cookies.

Grocery shopping together had become a day-to-day habit for them. Lena didn’t want to leave Lizzie alone and Kara didn’t feel ready to be with her daughter on her own yet. And so, they decided to do it all together, so neither of them had to cross their limits. However, dealing with a starving kryptonian, completely out of control on the sugary sections was asking to be angry. The problem with Kara was that she would just forget about the checklist and enter the hall, sneaking in extra products when Lena wasn’t looking. Lizzie, still unaware of what was happening, would just see her mother smile childishly and run to the other side as if nothing had happened.

Of course, Lena saw it every time but chose not to say a thing. Money wasn’t an issue and her friend’s smile was worth it.

“We need to drop by the pharmacy to buy the formula, diapers, and the cramp’s meds,” Lena said while grabbing the last items from the list. Kara was holding her daughter while she mumbled, distracted, playing with the little overall’s zipper “can you grab apples for me?”

“Sure!” Kara walked back to the fruit aisle “Seedy, this is an apple,” Kara pointed out  “It's a very tasty fruit, though I prefer strawberries or bananas. Apples make me hungry” Kara giggled at herself. She balanced the girl in one arm while grabbing the fruits with the other.

“Oh God, how cute!” A tall, smiley woman approached Kara and stared at Lizzie “is she yours?”

“Yes,” Kara said proudly “say hi, baby!” she motivated, but the girl was too entertained with her own clothes.

“She has your eyes” they looked at each other “and beauty, if I may say” oh, Rao.

Kara knew where that was going.

“Uh… thank you” she scoffed. “I need… er… apples” she pointed to the red fruits on the plastic bag.

“Do you need some help? I can hold her, maybe I can find out her mother’s secrets like that” she joked, but that was flirting. Kara was sure of it and didn’t know how to react.

“Maybe you can find out she has two mothers” Lena appeared behind them and took Lizzie, freeing Kara to continue her task “am I interrupting?”

Kara swallowed dry.

Oh, Rao.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…” the woman blushed “anyway, your daughter is beautiful, congratulations.”

“I know” Lena answered drily “shall we?”

“Y-yeah” Kara scoffed and tried to smile at the woman who stood there, embarrassed.

They made their way to the cashier, putting the products on the metal surface and waiting in line. Neither of them dared to look at each other. It had been some time since they had behaved like that, possessively, jealously. Kara barely remembered what it was like, but now she was sure. It felt good, it made her feel intense things in her heart. She wanted to tell Lena she would never pick another woman, she would never be able to fall for somebody new because she was too busy being hers. She belonged to her best friend, the mother of her daughter, and the love of her life. Kara wanted her back, to kiss her again, to hold her in her sleep, but maybe that reality was far too distant. Or even impossible.


Kara didn’t know. But she wouldn’t give up.

“What was that?” Kara had the guts to ask. They were already in the car, putting the bags in the trunk.

“What?” Lena didn’t look at her.

“Were you jealous?” a flash glowed on Lena’s green eyes and Kara knew what that meant.

“No.”

Yes. She was.

“You know you don’t have to lie.” Kara insisted.

“I wasn’t jealous, can we just forget it and move on?” Lena shot back but before Kara could apologize for the intrusion, a shadow appeared behind herself.

Kara turned to Lena and she was petrified. Her arms protectively embraced Lizzie, maybe a little too tight and her confused crying showed imminent danger. The people around them stopped too, scared of what could happen next because the armed man with a scar on his face didn't look like he was there for a chat. Kara could listen to both heartbeats, pounding like drums, running accelerated, panicking. Her own blood boiled and her first instinct was to step forward, putting both of them behind her body. Lena didn’t say anything, she obeyed and let Kara shield them. She was terrified and just wished they could leave there as fast as possible.

“Drop the gun,” Kara said carefully, reaching out her hand and looking at Lena with the corner of her eyes “you don’t have to do this.”

He laughed out loud and the echo could cut the tension in half. Lena shivered and her legs trembled. Lizzie let the pacifier go and began crying louder.

“Hand me the child and no one gets hurt,” he spoke firmly, the voice was grave and hoarse. “It's a simple deal. You choose.”

“You don’t know who you’re dealing with.” Kara was angry now “and you’re not taking my daughter.”

Her mind was working fast, thinking of a way to not expose herself, but at the same time, she wouldn’t mind revealing her identity to everyone there. The questions were many and confusing, why was someone coming for her daughter? Why did he seem so interested? What did he want? She sighed. There was no time for that now, she had to save Lena and Lizzie and get out of there as fast as possible. She looked back and the car was still open, next to other vehicles and upfront, the exit from the parking lot. It was a useless plan, there was no escaping without showing Supergirl. She took a deep breath.

“Oh, I know very well,” he smiled wickedly, “and I’m going to take her, whether you cooperate or not.”

“Take one more step and I’ll end that smile” Kara threatened and her voice went up a little. She could feel her fingers hurt from the amount of strength she was closing her fist “who sent you?”

“Let’s just say there’s a fine reward for the baby” he looked at the CEO and then at the girl in her arms, crying and squirming “she’s very cute, isn’t she?” he tried to move closer but the kryptonian barred him, pulling her friend to the other side, hiding her even more “possessive much?”

“Drop the gun before I make you regret it” Kara was now fuming. He laughed again and unlocked the trigger, causing the characteristic sound.

“And what are you going to do? Do you think you can protect your family and keep me from taking the girl?” he threatened “you know, the reward is worth it and I’m not the only one trying to get it.”

“Lena, stay behind me,” Kara whispered and she nodded.

The sound of police sirens invaded the place, still far from where they were but close enough so they could hear it. Lena felt her heart almost escape her chest, holding her daughter even closer, the bay was crying and moving uncomfortably. Lena couldn’t make sense of the reward or why someone was after Lizzie. What was she worth? Who would be capable of hurting someone so little and defenseless? Her blood was boiling in rage, anguish, and fear. Fear of not being able to protect her. Fear that their lives would be like this forever, drenched in fright, attacks, and sadness. Lena was torn between regretting involving Supergirl in this and the desire to escape the city, allowing only Kara to have access to her. Not as a hero, just as a mother.

Before Lena could finish processing all that situation, a huge boom on their left side caught them by surprise and Lena closed her eyes, trying to dodge from the pieces of concrete flying around. The screams from the people in the parking lot echoed through the dim place and no one dared to get near the cars. Kara swirled quickly and held Lena and Lizzie, keeping anything from hitting them. Lizzie was frightened and her crying went from confusion to panic. She could feel her mother's panic. Everything happened in a matter of seconds but it felt like an eternity. The smell of dust and smoke invaded their lungs.

When they looked around again, the man with the gun that earlier looked so eager for the reward, now couldn’t breathe right. And then, the red eyes met the green and blue.

Reign.

The black cape fell over her shoulder, the mask hid her true face and her fist could break his neck in a matter of seconds. Kara used her super speed and came back before Lena even noticed she had left. Now, dressed in the blue suit and red cape, she was freer, though she didn’t understand why the mysterious woman was there. After all, what was she? Why did she fight like a hero but never let anyone thank her? Kara sighed again. It didn’t matter, nothing of the sort mattered now. She had saved her family and for that, Kara was forever thankful.

“Get them out of here,” Reign said drily, eyes shining in bloody red.

“Thank you,” Kara answered.

“Don’t thank me, just get the hell out of here!” She ordered and the man screamed in agony, squirming and choking on the lack of air “I don’t want her to see what I’m about to do. Go!”

“Reign, you don’t have to…”

“What is wrong with you?” she was on the brink of screaming “go!”

“Uh… okay, thank you… again” Kara still didn’t know how to react, she turned to Lena and picked her up, alongside Lizzie.

Kara knew what Reign was about to do and didn’t agree with it. Supers don’t kill, she wasn’t a murderer and everyone deserves to go to trial for their mistakes. But now, Kara couldn’t care less. If someone had to do it, then let it be the mysterious hero that didn’t act on any moral grounds. Supergirl flew over the city as carefully as she could, not too fast but not making that situation longer than it should. Lizzie had never flown with her, in fact, she had never seen her mother’s powers. That was the first time and it was far from being the last.

A few hours after the attack, all the grocery bags appeared on the balcony and the car, mysteriously parked on the street.

 

***

 

The rest of the day was overshadowed by fear and silence. Lena waited for her daughter to calm down and got her ready for bed. Her muscles were sore from the tension and her legs still trembled and the cherry on top was the migraine that followed. They didn’t talk about what happened, nor tried to figure out who was after Lizzie, nor even warned the DEO about the prize put over Lizzie’s head. Kara didn’t even call her sister or said a word about what was on her being. They were both inerts in their thoughts, in anxiety. They moved through the apartment in a mechanical, rehearsed-looking way. They didn’t have the appetite to eat or the energy to cry, all they wanted was for that day to be over. For all of that to end.

Lizzie fell asleep quickly, mouth still glued to her mother’s breast and hand holding her finger. Lena sang to her, caressed her hair, and promised herself she would protect her forever, no matter if it cost her life or dignity. The night was warm and humid, showing that summer was planning on staying for a while. Lena didn’t leave the room after the shower and sat on the bed. She tried to listen to something in the kitchen, or maybe the sound of the television on, or perhaps even the noise of notebook tapping. But nothing came. The apartment was immersed in sepulchral, cutting silence, all the lights were off, leaving every corner there down in quiet darkness.

She walked around the room, rocking the baby to sleep and then putting her on the crib, kissing her cheeks, and then wishing her good night. Lena didn’t know if she would be able to sleep, because every time she closed her eyes, the image of the gun, the scar, the man’s intense brown eyes invaded her mind. It is like relieving hell over and over, unable to escape the infernal loop. She sighed, exhausted, lightly massaging her shoulder and washed her face, pretending she wasn’t cold sweating although the air conditioner was on. As she went back to bed, Lena heard a voice down the corridor, light and soft. She frowned and looked at the time, it was over midnight. She got up again and walked to the door, opening the door slowly and looking for the sound.

Her eyes met the figure of a blond woman in her pajamas, sitting on the hallway’s carpet, Agnes lying next to her. The waves on her hair didn’t look as silken, the glasses weren’t falling down her nose and her feet were bare, something completely unusual for the funny socks lover. Lena relaxed and breathed heavily, wanting Kara to notice her. However, Kara didn’t move or look at her. Her fingers continued to caress the dog’s caramel fur, going up and down her body in long movement. Agnes sighed and enjoyed the moment to take a nap. Lena considered going back to her room, but the voice sounded again.

“Agnes, do you miss your puppies?” Kara whispered, almost inaudibly “what would you do if you had to leave?”

Lena felt her heart stop beating.

“You know… I lost my family once, a long time ago and I never thought I’d be as happy then” a light sob escaped her throat “what do we do when we love someone and still have to make such a difficult… difficult decision?” Kara dried her fast fast “I’d do… anything for them, Agnes… anything, but I can’t…” she shook her head again, unable to finish.

Suddenly, Kara felt thin cold arms embrace her shoulder and the CEO’s sweet perfume entered her nostrils. Kara didn’t dare to look at her, to apologize, and to say that it was best for them to be apart. After all, how could she protect her daughter if all the dangers came from the fact that her mother was Supergirl? How could Kara live with herself knowing her daughter was always subject to attack and would never be able to leave the house by herself or go out without any worries for her safety? It was a futureless life, an extremely painful decision had to be taken. If it was necessary, Kara would walk away. She would leave and let Lizzie in the hands of the Luthors, and maybe then, her guilt would decrease.

“You don’t have to” Lena whispered, almost capable of hearing Kara’s mind “you know you don’t have to…”

“It’s my fault, it’s… it’s all my fault” she answered “maybe it’s… really better if I’m gone, it’s too dangerous for me to be a part of her life and I…”

“If you leave, how do you think Lizzie is going to feel? How do you think she’s going to be when she loses her mother?” Lena pointed out, straight but tender “what do you think I’m going to tell her when she questioned what you’ve done?”

“I’m s-sorry…”

“It’s not your fault and it isn’t mine either, we both know our lives aren’t quite easy” Lena murmured and pet the sleeping dog “but I can’t do this alone…”

Silence.

“I couldn’t do this without you, Kara” she confessed, averting her eyes.

Kara sobbed again and hugged her, as one would hold their reason to live. Their reason to breathe. Lena held her tight and closed her eyes. And her thoughts flew far away, in an attempt to find a solution to this. And so, her mother’s voice came to mind again, repeating that Lizzie would only be safe if Kara wasn’t there if she never learned about her true identity. She could picture Lilian smiling, with that impeccable posture and prepotent lips. Lilian was right, her daughter would be safe if Supergirl wasn’t involved, but the truth was, Lilian knew her daughter would never be able to push the hero away from the baby. Kara was her mother too.

And then it all clicked. If Lena couldn’t do it, then Lilian would make Kara’s mind. There was nothing wittier than to mess with the thing Kara loved the most: her family.

“It’s late, we need to rest,” Lena whispered and got up, holding Kara’s hand. Agnes stretched her paws and went to the living room, where her bed was placed just next to the couch.

“Okay, thank you for… everything,” Kara said in a trembling voice, her face still wet.

“Come on” Lena squeezed her hand again. Kara let her shoulder fall, exhausted and defeated. The tears streamed down again and she squeezed Lena’s hand back.

They made their way back to the bedroom where Lizzie was peacefully asleep. Lena closed the door and lied down, leaving some space for Kara next to her. As soon as they were tucked in, she allowed her friend to hug her again, hiding her face in her hair and crying softly, the idea of losing her world again had hit her hard, breaking her heart in pieces. Lena took a deep breath, holding her own tears, knowing she would do anything to keep Kara in her life.

And that was the first night, after so many months apart, that they fell asleep together 

Notes:

Don't forget to leave kudos and comments! They mean a lot :)

Chapter 26: Wish I Had No Expectations

Notes:

yes, yes, I know I'm late, (IM SORRY OKAY)

the chapters are getting a lot longer so yeah, don't expect a lot of punctuality from me, though I will continue to try and update this every week.

Anyways, I apologize again and enjoy the chapter!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Welcome back, Ms. Luthor” Jess greeted with a familiar smile and politeness, quickly turning to the cute figure in the stroller.

 

“Be polite and say hi to Jess, Liz” Lena joked and Lizzie looked at the secretary attentively, her blue eyes shining as always.

 

“Do you intend on returning to your position in August?” Jess questioned.

 

“Oh no, I still have some time before coming back, Lizzie is still too young and I don’t think Sam is ever going to let me get her out of that chair” Lena played and Jess giggled “by the way, is she busy?”

 

“No, in fact, she canceled all morning meetings after knowing you were coming.” Jess explained, “We miss you around here, especially the scholarship interns.”

 

“Is the project still standing?” It was one of Lena’s favorites, especially because it meant more time in the lab.

 

“Ms. Aria made sure the investors maintained the credits and we have new participants, this time even a foreigner joined in” Lena smiled at the information, relieved to know something as simple as that still existed.

 

“Sam really is the soul of this company” Lena was honest.

 

“Yes, but all souls need a heart” Jess was direct and Lena blushed at the compliment “should I announce you before you get in?”

 

“There’s no need, I told her I arrived a couple of minutes ago” Lena took the stroller and turned to the door. “By the way, Kara is coming at any minute now so please let her in.”

 

“Of course, have a nice day” Jess smiled and Lena turned it.

 

The opening door pulled Sam out of her thoughts, which were traveling far away, perhaps in the direction of a certain redhead. She couldn’t help but smile and she saw her best friend pushing a babbling baby, her heart raced. L-Corp could be the best tech company in America, putting other businesses, run by men who underestimated the opposite sex, to shame. However, only one person was responsible for it and should get all the praise: Lena Luthor. The amazing thing was that Lena was almost unaware of her importance to her workers, recognized her effort, knew her character, and didn’t judge her choices. Lena never stopped looking after them, hearing their needs, and defending them if needed. Many times per day, Sam had to answer their questions and reassure that both the CEO and her daughter are well and she would be back soon.

 

“To what do I owe this visit?” Sam smirked.

 

“I’m not this important, Sam,” Lena retorted as the other woman stood up to greet her.

 

“I wasn’t talking about you, I was talking about my favorite niece” Sam smiled and Lena cocked a brow.

 

“Niece?” Lena kept the provoking tone “are you a Mrs. Danvers already?”

 

“Not yet, but one day maybe” Sam answered unbothered, grabbing Lizzie and kissing her cheeks, something that Lena wasn’t expecting. That much happiness for the baby.

 

“Wow, I didn’t know you were at this level yet” she smiled “what did I miss?”

 

“Nothing much, I just love her enough to know I want to spend the rest of my life with her” Sam shrugged, lying the little girl on her chest “why do you have that face?”

 

“How can you say something like that so calmly?” Lena sat down slowly “I mean… doesn’t that scare you?”

 

“Marriage?” Sam frowned and sat in front of her.

 

“Love” Lena sighed and then Sam got it “you make it sound like it’s so light and simple.”

 

“Because it is and it’s how it’s always supposed to be” Sam studied the sad aura that surrounded her friend “what happened?”

 

“Nothing,” Lena looked away. “Just leave it behind, Kara is arriving soon, I don’t know if she’s coming from the balcony or the door” Lena changed the subject quickly but that tactic stopped working on the CFO a long time ago.

 

“You have to two options, you either tell me what happened or I’m going to get it out of you” Sam stated and Lena’s mouth gaped open in unbelief and lowkey offense “don’t look at me like that, only Lizzie had my heart now, isn’t that right?” she smiled at the girl on her lap and Lizzie babbled loudly.

 

“You and Alex are the worst couple in the world!” Lena sighed nervously “it’s not a big deal, I just… I just don’t understand…”

 

“What, exactly, don’t you understand?” Sam crossed her legs.

 

“How love can be so simple” and there it was, the shadow in her eyes, turning her bright green eyes, more opaque “maybe it isn’t like that for everyone.”

 

“Don’t be silly, everyone can find someone special, no matter who or the situation” Sam disagreed “you’re referring to Kara, right?”

 

“Yeah…” Lena let it out heavily “she still looks at me the same way, and I still feel the same, like the feeling never left”

 

“Have you told her that yet?” Lena shook her head, denying “has she ever told you ever told you how she feels?”

 

“She told me she loved me, multiple times” Lena confessed, feeling the old butterflies in her stomach “and it’s like I can hear those words every time she looks at me.”

 

“And you never said I love you back” Sam wasn’t asking, she was affirming.

 

Lena, once again, took a deep breath.

 

“Is it that obvious?”

 

“It’s pretty evident, Lena, and I know you too well,” Sam smiled tenderly. “It's enough for me to know that if something doesn’t happen, you’re never going to say it.”

 

“What do you mean?” Lena cocked a brow and handled Lizzie her pacifier.

 

“Lena, you’re scared something bad will happen if you say those three words out loud. It’s not about Supergirl, about the lie or any other thing about you two specifically” Sam explained calmly “it’s about the weight you’re carrying without even trying. Listen to me well, because I know I’m right and I know you’re not going to believe me, but loving Lex isn’t what put him in jail” Lena faced the empty wall, focusing on the white details and trying not to be hit by any memories “loving him isn’t what turned him to what he is now.”

 

“But it didn’t stop me from breaking when it happened” her voice trembled. “Loving means creating bonds, getting attached and everything I love leaves, it simply ends. I can’t let anything happen to her, I’d never forgiven myself for dragging her to the hell of having a Luthor next to her and I’m scared enough for my daughter” her tears slipped hot and heavy “I can’t say it out loud, even if it chokes me, even if I never stop loving her. I can’t… I just can’t, Sam…”

 

“You know that's unfair for the three of you, right?” no answer came “Kara is never going to ask you to say it back, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to hear it. She needs to hear it, Lena.”

 

“I c-can’t” Lena quickly dried her face “I can’t be what she wants me to be, I can’t fill the void that she has, because I’m not… I’m not what she needs…”

 

“Lena, take a deep breath, okay?” Sam got up and grabbed a glass of water “listen to me carefully” Lena turned to her “you don’t have to fit in the box you created for yourself in your head. Love isn’t about filling someone, of being their better half, or any other bullshit. Love is about overflowing, of being enough for yourself before having someone next to you” Sam smiled “Kara doesn’t want someone to make up for the loss of a whole planet, of her parents and friends, she just wants someone to be there for her, to make her laugh and make the bad days easier to get through and, honestly, bad things can happen whether you tell her how you feel or no” Sam pointed out carefully “Lena, Kara isn’t indestructible, she can break at any time, any fight she gets in can be her last one…” the weight of that statement hit Lena hard and just the thought of a world where Kara wasn’t there seemed unbearably painful “and when she’s gone, you’re going to feel awful for never making your feelings clear.”

 

Lena closed her eyes for an instant and let the words sink into her mind.

 

“I’m not here to force you to say it, you have to do it in your own time, but I don’t think it’s okay to let her think you’ve never loved her as she loves you” Sam sighed “no matter how you feel, your mom already knows it anyway and even if it never leaves your mouth, the dangers are going to keep coming and Supergirl is going to keep fighting. It isn’t your choice or your fault. It’s just facts” Lizzie yawned, interrupting the monologue “and you two have someone very special in your hands, someone who deserves to see her mothers happy and together. Think about it, okay?”

 

“Okay, I promise I will” Lena finished the glass and fixed her face again “thanks for being amazing, Sam.”

 

“Who’s the best aunt, huh?” Sam played, poking the baby’s nose “I’m just glad you two are getting along again, and don’t forget game night Winn and Alex are already betting on the winners.”

 

“And you think Kara would let me forget it?” Lena sighed “she makes me check if her favorite pizza place was open twice today.”

 

“And if it was closed you’d offer half your fortune just to make sure Kara gets whatever she wants” Sam teased, watching the other woman blush.

 

“Hey! I’m your boss, you should be more respectful” Lena pretended to be offended.

 

“You’re not the one sitting on this chair right now” she smirked.

 

A loud thud on the balcony interrupted them and they turned around to face the red-caped hero’s image. Lizzie, who was almost asleep, opened her eyes looking for her mother, recognizing the noise. Kara smiled largest and walked into the place in a rush, her eyes going fast from her daughter and the Luthor and back. Whenever Kara had to go to work, either as a reporter or as Supergirl, her heart shattered from spending the whole day away, unable to lie on the carpet, watch some cartoons and observe her friend read some complex project article. Those family mornings and afternoons were her favorites.

 

“Hey, Sam!” Kara greeted the woman with a tight hug and then followed towards the CEO, giving her a quick peck on the cheeks, smiling just at the sight of her “How are we?” Kara turned to her daughter

 

“Ready to save the world” Sam answered, kissing the soft cheeks again and raising Liz up, getting an excited little scream in return.

 

“Are you okay?” Kara intertwined their pinkies, their new way of cautionary physical proximity. They wouldn’t hold hands in public or in front of their friends, that was a private action.

 

Lena turned to her and nodded, her eyes shining again.

 

“Yeah” Lena lied, but Kara raised her hands and dried the remnants of a tear on her face. The simple touch made Lena’s heartburn in intense emotion “thank you” she murmured.

 

Lizzie, still waiting for her yeyu to pick her up, began crying, impatient.

 

“Go give your daughter some attention,” Lena said playfully.

 

“Our daughter.”

 

After some instructions were explained, for example, where the four baby bottles, the diapers, clean clothes, and toys were, Lena and Sma left the room, ready to go on with the plans created the day before. Since Kara still didn’t feel brave enough to be completely alone with her daughter, they decided she would wait in L-Corp’s office and would call Lena if needed, it was a good security measure for both of them, as Lena didn’t feel prepared to stay away from her daughter for too long yet. Lena kissed Lizzie’s head, smiled at Kara, and grabbed her belongings, saying she wouldn’t take long, after all, the game night still awaited them and Sam had to meet up with Alex for lunch to discuss plans with Ruby that afternoon.

 

“You’re very bad at hiding it” Sam commented, heading to the lab.

 

“What?” Lena frowned.

 

“That you still love each other” Lena blushed at her friend’s honesty “do you intend on getting back together?”

 

“I don’t know” Lena was sincere as she unlocked the private lab’s door, turning on the light and leaving her purse on the table. Two white coats were hanging by the door, alongside individual protection equipment and more comfortable clothes “I honestly don’t know?”

 

“And why don’t you?” Sam accepted the coat Lena handed her.

 

“We’ve been through too much and we didn’t even know if we’d be friends again” Lena explained “I don’t want to ruin what we have, I don’t bring any more drama to Lizzie’s life and it would be… so unfair” she sighed “I don’t even want to think about it.”

 

“As you wish” Sam dropped the subject, for now. She knew, more than anyone maybe, that it was no use pushing Lena to answer those questions now. At some point, she was going to rethink it and would arrive at a rational conclusion “what are we doing?”

 

“First things first, I need you to trust me and let me say everything I have to before any questions” Sam arched a brow at Lena’s sudden seriousness but agreed “good.”

 

“Did I have any other choice?”

 

“No” Lena smiled obnoxiously, making Sam roll her eyes “in here, I have the samples I showed you the other day and flasks containing your blood, Alex gave me them yesterday at the DEO.”

 

“Okay, where do we begin?” They positioned themselves behind the table where two microscopes were placed, next to some lenses, Petri dishes, and other gadgets.

 

“I need to set some new blades with your samples, so do the smearing and let them dry in the liquid, while I’m going to get the ones that are already done and write a small report,” Lena explained, putting some metal bars that were over the wall onto the table.

 

“Why do we need metal bars and a Bunsen burner? I thought we were just going to work with biological material” Sam frowned, confused.

 

“Do as I asked and I’ll explain it to you soon” Sam rolled her eyes again and obeyed, spending the next work lost in drips of blood and little glass plates.

 

Time went by in a blink of an eye, the duo worked in silence, focused on their thoughts and placing everything that was done on their respective opposite sides. Lena organized it all the best way possible, writing down every result on a spreadsheet, and breathing heavily as she realized she was getting closer and closer to finding more about her friend’s DNA, or her double friend, actually. Lena still didn’t know how she was going to tell Sam the truth, she didn’t even have a plan for it. Lena considered that coming clean as soon as possible was the better option, so she would avoid pain and wait. Sam was suffering from the lack of answers, of a solution to her situation and Lena wouldn’t lie if she was asked if her expectations were negative. After all, what could they expect?

 

After almost two hours and a half of constant activity, they looked at each other and it was time to straighten things out.

 

“Well, I finished what you asked and all the blades are ready” Sam pointed to them on the table “what are these notes?”

 

“It’s things I found that distinguish these human cells from the non-human ones” Lena explained “I made a chart with every common characteristic, separated from the distinguishment. For example, the brain cells have these characteristics, the skin cells have others and so it goes” Lena pointed to the columns “and I did the same with the samples I got from Supergirl, I mean, Kara.”

 

“Lizzie’s should be half each, right?” Lena nodded “do you intend to know which one has more dominance?”

 

“It’s what I thought would happen, but apparently there isn’t a pattern” Lena sighed, upset. It was going to be an arduous task and, of course, very tiring “I thought it was going to be easier, finding an answer when looking for the obvious, but I think it’s going to be more scientifically correct if we find out how they divert from the human immune system and get together with a cell. Lizzie was born with them ready, there isn’t a mimicking system, it happened in my blood and it’s going to be our starting point.

 

“Why don’t you try recombining them? Like if you were to simulate an encounter of two DNA’s and then observe what happens” Sam suggested and Lena arched a brow “maybe it’s more practical to observe the change than to work with it already transformed.”

 

“That’s a great idea, let’s do both and begin” Lena agreed “now, about your blood.”

 

“Okay,” Sam was clearly nervous. “Alex told me she didn’t get anything yet, do you think we're not going to find any answer?”

 

“In fact, this is when I need you to trust me and take a deep breath” Sam felt her body tense up and her skin freeze. What was Lena trying to say here?

 

“Lena, you’re scaring me” she fidgeted with the white coat and took off the protection glasses “I trust you, more than I trust myself, so whatever you have to tell me, just do it.”

 

“Alex provided me with all your blood samples and I took the time to take a look at them, I haven’t done much but I found a known pattern in them and that’s why I want you to analyze them carefully, pay attention to the details and draw your own conclusion” Lena explained carefully, taking two blades and placing them under the microscope “first look at this one and tell me what you see. Then, compare it to others.”

 

Sam, still not understanding where her friend was getting, took a deep breath and lowered her head to observe the blades. On the first one, she saw star-shaped cells, positioned in messy lines and somewhat blue-colored. She noticed that, like the human cells, they had a nuclear membrane limiting their core and lots of cytoplasmic organelles immersed in a white-ish plasma. So far, not so different, except for their shape and amount of organelles. Apparently, they had fewer organelles and a specific one that humans didn’t have in their cellular organization. Sam memorized that information and then looked at the other, breathing in and out again and squinting her eyes to take a better look.

 

The other sample had the same blue coloring and Sam didn’t understand what Lena's point was, after all, the samples were identical. The same organization, same organelles, same number, and all. Sam frowned and took a while longer at them before asking for sure. She thought the blades were different, from different blood samples, but now she wasn’t sure anymore.

 

“Okay,” Sam turned to her.

 

“Tell me what you saw,” Lena asked gravely.

 

“I saw that, although they’re different from human blood cells, they have similar characteristics, like the nuclear membrane and organized cytoplasm,” Sam pointed out “I just can’t find any differences between them,” she admitted.

 

“It’s because biologically, you’re only going to find a difference if you do a genotypic analysis” Lena explained “they belong to different people. This one, on the right, is yours and the other one is Supergirl’s.”

 

That information hung on air before Sam allowed it to get into her head. At first, it all sounded confusing and completely insane. If Lena was telling the truth, then she and Supergirl had an identical cell system. But that wasn’t so hard to believe, what made things a problem was the fact that Kara wasn’t human, she was alien, coming from a no longer existent planet and the only other being similar to her was Superman. Not even Lizzie was identical to her. And then, it all became clear and Sam’s heart skipped a beat. Every piece in the puzzle fit in the right place, her mind was clicking while her brain cells worked against an overreaction. Sam took a deep breath and slowly counted to ten.

 

If Kaar wasn’t human and they had the same biological material, that meant Sam wasn’t human either.

 

She breathed in and out.

 

Count to ten, she repeated mentally. Count to ten.

 

Her look fell to her hands, her arms, and whole body. Everything she ever believed, her life, her childhood… Was it all a lie? She closed her eyes, feeling the warm tears burn the back of her eyes. She remembered some nightmares, some voices in her head, unfamiliar faces that looked at her through a looking-glass. She always thought they were just dreams, bad thoughts, and didn’t even dare to tell her mother. She shook her head and sighed. Who was her mother, anyway? Who was her real family and why didn’t she know anything about them? Why did Patricia never tell her the truth?

 

There were so many questions, and even though now she had one of the answers, it felt like the doubts doubled up.

 

“Sam, I still have something to ask of you,” Lena said, almost whispering, afraid of pushing her friend away with just the sound of her voice. She reached for the iron bar and they looked at each other. Sam stepped back, uncertain of what her friend was going to ask, but tried to get a hold of herself “you don’t have to if you don’t want to…”

 

“What do you need?” Sam whispered.

 

“Fold this for me” Lena handed the bar to her. Sam hesitated for a few seconds and then held the bar, feeling the cold metal on her warm palm. The material caressed her skin like a shy lover and she sighed.

 

And with impressive ease, Sam not only twisted the metal but also broke it in half.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

As she parked on the familiar street, Alex was invaded by a nostalgic feeling, and she took her breath for a few seconds. It wasn’t exactly a good feeling, but it wasn’t so bad either, in fact, it was like the memories settled on her mind quickly, bringing flashes of past scenarios and awakening something new inside her. She remembered the first time she went there with Maggie, how she would smile at her laughing while drinking beer, or how they would take bets every night but the prize was always something both of them could enjoy. Alex still remembered the way her eyes glowed when she smiled and the dimples would cut her face. Maggie was, in fact, a beautiful, charming woman. Alex took a deep breath and gave herself some time to process every memory of two happy women that promised to love each other forever and made plans for a dead future.

 

And for the first time, Alex didn’t feel the urge to hide, to run, or drown every memory in alcohol. It was the first time she stepped foot in that place in months and also the first time she remembered Maggie with such intensity. But it didn’t hurt anymore, it didn’t suffocate her. Sure, it was sad to think their story had become past writings in time, but it was good to realize that the wound was just a scar now. Alex would remember her forever, with tenderness and admiration, after all, it would be a lie to say she hated her and would rather forget it all. No, Maggie was a part of who she was, she helped Alex see she could be free, be true to herself and kiss the girls she wanted to kiss. It was because of her that she was there now and so, Alex would keep her alive in her heart, in a safe, well-kept part.

 

Looking at her side, to the passenger's seat, Alex smiled largely. She might’ve suffered from the engagement’s break off, she cried and begged God to take all those feelings away from her, but looking at the focused figure on her side, the brown hair falling on her face and purple nail polis, it all made sense. Life sometimes does strange things, and has plans completely different from the expected, changing the lines and roads without a warning. However, for the new to come, the old must go, and that’s how Alex found Sam and Ruby. And she wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. She smiled again as she realized how close to exploding her heart felt every time she looked at the girl. Ruby was, without a doubt, her favorite kid.

 

“Are we here?” Ruby looked outside the window with a confused face “Where are we?”7

 

“At one of my favorite places” Alex winked, throwing a little mystery.

 

“My mom isn’t going to ground us, is she?” Ruby questioned, suspicious “I’m on my summer vacations I don’t want to be sitting in a room

 

“Your mom isn’t going to ground us, she was the one who asked me to distract you, right?” Alex retorted, knowing Ruby couldn’t argue with that “she’s with your aunt Lena and we’re going to go pick her up later.”

 

“Okay, let’s go then” she smiled, suspicion turning to excitement.

 

They got out of the car and Ale grabbed the keys a friend had borrowed from her the other day. Of course, Alex wouldn’t take the girl there on busy days, when the pub was open and music was playing loud. Then, that was no place for children and she would never let Ruby so close to strangers. And so, the bar’s owner, who was a very close friend, gladly gave her the extra keys and told her to enjoy it and make herself at home. Alex turned the girl again and the door was opened, the cold, humid air caressed their skins. Everything was dark, the chairs were stacked and the washed cups were settled on the counter. Alex ignored the other side and walked through the narrow hallway with Ruby, their steps echoed through the place. Alex felt the warm, little hand squeeze hers, firm but a little scared.

 

“There’s no need to be scared, I promise you you’ll love it” Alex calmed down.

 

As she turned the lights, Ruby pressed her lips and her eyes shot wide open in excitement. She looked at the booths, the gun holders, the wood and metal figures on the other side, the ear protectors, and then it clicked. A target shooting, but with actual guns, like real agents do. And Alex knew that the girl was a big fan of her work.

 

“Are we going to shoot? Like you do at the DEO?” Ruby tried to contain a scream.

 

“I’m going to teach you how to do it and you have to promise you you’re going to do exactly as I say” Alex answered, taking a few pieces of equipment out of the locker.

 

“I promise, I swear, I pinky promise!” Her excitement was so big that Ruby was about to start jumping up and down “can I take this one?” she pointed at a massive gun and Alex laughed.

 

That was clearly her girl.

 

“How about this one?” Alex showed a smaller one but equally interesting “if you manage to hit all the five red targets in the center, I’ll let you choose any gun.”

 

“Deal.” Ruby shook her hand. Alex cocked a brow at her audacity.

 

“You know every secret agent keeps their word, right?” she nodded.

 

“One day, I’m going to be an agent like you and I’ll be able to hit all the boys that I want” Alex snorted at her innocence “It’s going to be awesome!”

 

“Okay, little troublemaker” Ruby sighed, she hated the nickname “when you grow up, we’ll go back to talking about boys again” she put the protectors over her ears and positioned the gun over the holder “maybe you’ll change your mind about them later.”

 

“Ugh, no!” Ruby grimaced “I don’t want to kiss anyone, not boys, not girls. It’s disgusting” she was firm.

 

“Later, like in ten years, we’ll go back to that” Alex said, praying that her mind would stay like that and Ruby wouldn’t change. She’d hate to have a future boyfriend or girlfriend in her house.

 

 

“What do I do now?” Ruby turned to face her front “do I just pull this?”

 

A thunderous boom cut the place and hit the wall far from them, where one could clearly see other bullet marks.

 

“Technically yes, but do I calmer and with more precision” Alex explained “position yourself like this and put your hands in here” she helped out, behind the girl and lowering her body a little “you have to aim before you pull the trigger. First, it’s going to unlock and then it will shoot. Follow your vision line and voila!” Ruby shot again and the metal body gained another hole near its head.

 

“Wow!” she screamed “I want to do this forever!”

 

“Right, I’m going to get mine and we’re going to bet, what do you think?” Alex remembered the way Maggie used to look at her when they placed a bet, challenging her with a smile.

 

And then Ruby smirked, defying her height, like a mature, grown girl, fearless. And that’s when Alex realized she didn’t miss the past, she could still have fun the same way she did, doing the same things and still feeling good, feeling whole. Besides, Alex could see herself in the eyes of the girl that she loved, and that was, no doubt, the best thing life could have given her. She didn’t need to give up on what she wanted, on her dreams, she could conquer all those things at the right time.

 

“And what are we betting on?”

 

“If I win, you do the dishes and clean Krypto’s mess for a week” Alex proposed.

 

“Good one, but I have one better” and there it was, that challenging look “if I win, I want to go to Disney for my birthday and a drop by at the ice cream shop when we go pick my mom up.”

 

“Can’t you choose anywhere closer? Like… the Santa Monica amusement park?” Alex offered, knowing it wouldn’t stick.

 

“If we’re going to Los Angeles, why not the Disney park there?” clever, she was so clever “take it or leave it.”

 

“Jesus, you’re worse than Lena” Alex sighed and shook the girl's hand. They positioned themselves and went quiet, both focused on aiming “whoever hits the three red circles first wins.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“I promise I’ll take it easy on you, beastie” Alex teased and Ruby rolled her eyes.

 

“I won't promise anything,” she retorted.

 

Alex laughed and silently swore she was going to protect that girl from everything in the world. It felt surreal to love someone that much, was it real? Alex didn’t know, but she wasn't going to complain. And then she remembered the time she brought Lena there, though it was more to distract herself than the Luthor, It was such a fresh memory, even though it seemed so far, Alex could no longer picture that frightened woman, so insecure, desperately trying to regain control of her life, of her body. She remembered the way her green eyes looked gray, sad, just like her skin looked paler and her voice sounded thinner. It was funny to think that not very long ago, Lena refused to be a mother, to accept that that child was coming for the best and not for the worse and that she might discover a whole new world as she accepted Lizzie. Well, she did accept and it all changed.

 

So many memories in just one place.

 

The shots were fired together and Alex hit the center, cheering with a little jump while Ruby sighed. The girl had hit a corner next to the red circle. Many other shots were fired right away and they continued the fun competition for long minutes until there was only one left to break the tie. Apparently, the girl had a really good aim and managed to tie it with the redhead in a blink of an eye, leaving the agent’s mouth gap open and feeling very proud. They took a deep breath, squinted their eyes, and waited for the right moments as hunters focused on their prey. Nothing made a sound until a loud boom echoed through the grey, dirty walls.

 

When they went to check who had hit it, Alex gasped in unbelief and Ruby yelled, jumping up and down and performing a little dance very similar to Kara’s victory cheer,

 

“I won! Aunt Alex, I won!” she screamed again and hugged her hard “are you going to keep your promise?”

 

“Secret agent’s promise” Alex made a sign over her heart and Ruby did the same “shit, you really are a Danvers” she groaned.

 

“But you’re still better, for now,” Ruby provoked and got some pokes on the back in return “okay! You’ll always be the best!”

 

“That’s better, now let’s go get our ice cream” Alex rolled her eyes. How did she let a thirteen-year-old girl beat her at target shooting? She sighed.

 

Her phone rang and she took it out. Kara.

 

“Hey” Alex answered.

 

“Hey, are you busy?”

 

“Nope, in fact, I’m going to pay for a round of ice cream because I just lost a bet” she blinked one eye to ruby “do you want to tag along?”

 

“Me and ice cream? Pssst,” Alex could almost see her sister’s excited face on the other side “of course I do. Lena and Sam are at this ultra-secret meeting and Lizzie is with them, and don't know what they're up to.

 

“Join us and come to the fun side of the force” she heard Kara laugh “we’ll pick you up.”

 

“Alright!”

 

 

 

***

 

 

Ruby and Kara pretty much raced to see who would be first in line for ice cream, which was almost empty, except for them and a few other costumes. They argued about flavors, topping and found out their taste in ice cream was practically the same, because Kara was a child in a grown-up’s body. She even questioned how that bet had gone, if Ruby had enjoyed the place and if she liked having a dog, which of course received a positive answer. As they finished crafting their ice cream balls, Ruby started telling them about the book she had borrowed from the public library. Both Kara and Alex listened carefully and attentively, thinking it was awesome how someone so young had such a big interest in literature.

 

“But tell me, what was it like, beating my sister?” Kara turned to the agent, smiling playfully “how did you manage that?”

 

“It’s so good to beat her!” Ruby exclaimed, “she keeps pissing me off when she wins things and it’s so annoying.”

 

“I know how that is,” Kara agreed.

 

“It was beginner's luck” Alex mumbled, still not understanding how she had lost.

 

“She’s never going to admit it was a fair loss” Ruby provoked and received a poke back from the agent “but I won” she put her tongue out and Alex did the same.

 

“Enjoy it while you can because from now on she only gets more unbearable” Kara accused, and Alex kicked her under the table.

 

“Hum, changing topic, how are things?” Alex asked after they settled on the table and Ruby went back to paying attention to her book “How is my favorite niece?”

 

“You only have one niece, Alex,” Kara pointed out.

 

“Small details” she shrugged “now answer me.”

 

“Things are… normal, I think” she filled her mouth with ice cream and stopped to think “what do you want to know?”

 

“Everything, a lot has changed and I want to know if everything is okay” she explained, “why do you ‘think’ things are normal?”

 

“I don’t know… maybe… maybe it’s only me” Kara hesitated and Alex arched a brow, waiting for a clearer answer “not a lot has changed, Lizzie is okay, Lena is slowly going back to work and I have been going more often to CatCo, it’s just that…”

 

 

“That…?”

 

Kara took a deep breath and took another spoon in again, letting the sweet melt in her mouth.

 

“It feels like Lena and I went back to the time we were friends,” Kara said, upset, though she wasn’t sure why.

 

“And isn’t that a good thing?” she didn’t answer “I mean, It’s better than to be walking on eggshells with the whole… you-know-what situation.”

 

“Yeah, I know, it’s not that I feel bad that we’re friends, it’s just… uh, I don’t… I don’t know how to put it” Kara tried to articulate it with her hands, just making Alex dodge her a few times from her fast gestures, and Ruby frown, confused.

 

“Words, Kara” Alex held her wrists and stared at her kindly “breathe.”

 

“It’s like we are friends, but with the same feeling from before, not the friendship one but the one we built, you know?” Alex understood it perfectly, of course, she did, but she was going to let her sister get it out of her system “I… I look at her and I see that there’s still something there, something more, but what if I’m just creating too many expectations?”

 

“Why would you think that?”

 

“She never said she loved me… I mean, I already told her that and she… she never said it back” and then Alex saw the shadow of sadness in her tender blue eyes, one that she had seen before a couple of times but it never stopped breaking her heart “what if she never said it because she never felt it?”

 

“Kara, we both know that’s not true,” Alex said carefully “Lena does love you, in her own way, and I know that not hearing it back is painful, but maybe she’s scared.”

 

“But we’ve been through so much, more than any other couple and I don’t want to…” Kara breathed in, fighting against the stubborn tears “you know, it’s like we’re together, even though we’re not dating, and, honestly, that hurts. Holding her hand, watching movies together and sometimes we even sleep on the same bed, when I have nightmares… that…” she looked down to the ice cream pot, watching it slowly melting “I don’t want to have hope for something that might never come back…”

 

“Kara, my love, listen to me” Alex held her hands “I can’t say I fully understand how you feel, I try to, but only you know how it is, and well, I have two pieces of advice to give you.”

 

“Uh… okay” Kara fixed her glasses over her nose. Ruby listened to the conversation carefully and wanted to be able to help.

 

“If you don’t want to get hurt from the uncertainty of Lena’s feelings, then maybe it’s time to move.” Alex pointed out.

 

“Move what?”

 

“Move out from her apartment” Kara felt her heart sink “calm down, breathe. It’s just a suggestion, for your own good, but I know you don’t want to be away from Lizzie, and I get that” Alex explained quickly when she noticed the fear in her sister’s eyes “but there’s no use in being in a place that will only hurt you and it’s going to end up affecting your daughter too.”

 

“I-I’m… Alex, that’s…” she couldn’t finish it.

 

“Yeah, I know, and that’s why I have the other advice” they sighed together "if you still want to give it a shot, if you want to fight for your relationship back, then you’ll have to be completely honest and not expect her to just read your mind” Kara frowned at the harsh words “you two don’t speak, don’t put it out there what you feel and end up keeping yourselves from something good, something very good that can work” Alex intertwined their finger and smiled “I see that you love her and I know that she loves you too, for some reason, she doesn’t want to say it and we’ll only find out why if we ask her, well, in this case, you ask her, because if it were me I’d already have yanked it out of her” Kara giggled and rolled her eyes “it’s your choice if you think it’s worth it, then try. If you think it’s only going to give you false hope, then start to plan out a future where you two are just friends, mothers of the same daughter but need to live apart” and, again, Kara’s heart sunk and her pain was palpable “I know it’s bad, break-ups are never good, but life goes on, Kara. You need your space, Lena does too and maybe that’s necessary. Distance sometimes does good things and helps as a reminder of their importance for you.”

 

“I don’t want to make anyone suffer, especially Lena,” Kara said, upset “she doesn't want me to go, Lizzie needs me and so does she.”

 

“Of course they do, they’re your family, but if you’re suffering, then what’s the point” there were no arguments against that.

 

“You’re right,” she admitted sadly. To move out. It sounded like the loss she had years ago, it sounded like another twenty-four years in the phantom zone.

 

“I don’t want you to be sad, you don’t have to follow my advice, but I want you to think about what I said, will you promise you will?” she nodded “hey, look at me” Alex raised her chin with a finger and noticed the tears streaming down the corner of her eyes “everything is going to be okay, I promise you.”

 

“Why don’t you ask her out on a date?” Ruby finally spoke and both women turned to her, startled “if she says yes, then you already got your answer.”

 

“Ruby is right, that can be a good idea” Alex nodded.

 

“And what if she says no?” Kara questioned.

 

“Then you tell her you can’t stay,” Ruby shrugged. “sometimes people need to know what it's like to lose to want something back.”

 

“Girl, when did you get so smart?” Alex joked, kissing her hair “that’s an option too, so take some time to think” she turned to her sister “you don’t have to decide it now, finish your ice cream first.”

 

“Can I have some more?” she asked, and Alex, of course, nodded, “I’m going to need a lot more ice cream, like triple than what I just had.”

 

“Oh God, Kara” she rolled her eyes. No matter what her sister’s decision was, Alex knew it would be for the better. Not all things last forever, sometimes it’s better to let go, but other times, it’s worth another shot.

 

Now all she had to know was what decision was the right choice.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

The house was in a perfect state, it looked as if it had never been a mess, which wasn’t true. Ever since Lizzie was born four months ago, the apartment was constantly overturned with baby bottles, toys, clothes, and personal objects from both mothers. Although it was completely organized now, the frames and the occasional pacifier spread around exposed the definite change inside that apartment. The pictures showed the stages of Lizzie’s growth and were placed on the shelves, alongside colorful rubber books, toys, and photos of the three of them that Lena had gotten frames. Nothing there was the same and it would never go back to how it was. And that’s exactly what worried Lena.

 

Not that the mess itself bothered her, but the fact that she would never be able to go back to who she was before the pregnancy madness. Sure, she would never trade the life she has with her daughter for the one she had before, but some things have definitely become more difficult now. When you’re raised and crafted to be a certain way, it’s complicated to accept change. Lena had been raised to be perfect, a smart, strong, powerful, and fearless woman, who never accepts less than deserved. Lilian taught her not to cry, not to complain, not to disobey, it was repeated to her during her whole childhood and she didn’t know how to be different. The Luthor Manor was always impeccable, with housemaids everywhere all the time, ensuring the perfect cleaning and for both Lena and Lex to maintain that organization. Nothing should be out of place, if so, there would be severe consequences and Lionel loathed disarray.

 

So, that Saturday afternoon, Kara was recruited to clean every inch of the apartment, because soon their friends would arrive for game night. Kara tried to explain to Lena that there was no need for that and no one would mind a little mess. But it was no use, and Kara had to lift every piece of furniture in that place for Lena to then come in and vacuum the area. At least it’s a nice way to use my super strength, Kara considered. Lizzie, lucky her, just watched them and took a couple of naps. Now she was almost four months, tending to stay awake more, playing with the toys hanging from the ceiling to the crib, and also messing with Agnes, the poot dog was now constantly hiding from the girl. The pet at the moment was at the pet shop, having a good shower and prep for the game night.

 

The pizzas and potstickers arrived half an hour earlier, for the CEO’s relief. She organized the drinks in the fridge, separating the ones with alcohol and the ones without, and placed the napkins and cups on the center table in the living room. She could hear the noise of water falling from the shower, and so Lena headed to her bedroom, taking off her clothes and taking a last look at Lizzie before going for a shower. She wrapped a towel around her body and made sure her daughter was still asleep, going down the hallway later. Kara was in the room that had become hers ever since she moved, and the falling water sound was still there. Lena hesitated before entering the room, she wasn’t sure if she should invade Kara’s privacy like that, but the small thud had startled her and Lena shouldn’t worry about privacy when her mother was out there, putting a prize over her daughter’s head. Something that, speaking of, Lena didn’t dare to tell Kara.

 

She pushed the door slowly and observed the sunset-lit room, the light touching the soft blue blanket over the bed and the clothes over the sheets. The sweet smell invaded her nostrils quickly, reminding Lena what it felt like to have it in her skin every night they slept together, holding each other, nights in which they made love deliberately and loved each other so intensely. Her body quickly reacted to those memories and she had to repress a denied groan. Lena focused again on what she was supposed to be doing and walked towards the balcony, looking at both sides and then closing the glass doors, doing the same with the curtains. Kara had the terrible habit of entering the apartment through that and leaving it open. As soon as Lena realized there was no danger, she exited the room and another sound caught her attention. Something had fallen over the floor and took other things with it.

 

Lena arched her brow and sighed. It was coming from the suite’s bathroom. God, why did she have to be so curious?

 

She inhaled, nervous.

 

The cold doorknob touched her fingers and, when she realized, she had opened a little crack, managing the spy on the other side without drawing attention to herself.

 

“Lena…” a moan, an almost suffering breath, echoed, ricocheting on the walls and hitting a very sensitive spot on Lena.

 

She felt her body tense up and at the same time, react strongly to the delicious sound. Her name. Why did she have to sound so sweeter coming from Kara’s mouth? It seemed madness, but she managed to make it sound even more intense. Lena wanted to get out of there, run and go back to her shower because at any moment now, Alex and Sam would be arriving with the games, and Winn and James would bring in movies for later. However, something stronger made her stay and finish listening to what the blonde was groaning underwater. She opened the crack a little wider, getting a sight from the box’s transparent door and her center tingle in anticipation. She was turned on, so fuking turned on and there was nothing she could do to stop her skin from getting more sensitive, her spine shivering and her legs pressing closed. She bit her lips, swallowing her own moan and letting the air out slowly, trying not to make any noise.

 

The god-like figure of the hero was arched upfront, the blonde hair falling over her face and the hot water running down her tarnished skin. Her eyes focused on the breasts that went up and up, alongside the heavy breathing movement, the finger knuckles were almost white from carrying her body on the shower’s floral wall while the other moved frantically over the wet center. And that image almost ripped a loud groan out of Lena, making her whole body warm-up and wish to touch her, kiss her and fuck her the best way possible. She missed everything about Kara, especially the sex. There had passed month since her last intimate relation and the repetition of that abstinence cycle was becoming ridiculous now

 

Her fingers trembled over the towel's and she felt her own wetness leak over her thighs. Kara moved two fingers in and out, whispering the Luthor's name almost inaudibly. It was a different point of view, Lena thought to herself, seeing her friend in such a delicate and intimate moment, even though they had been through a lot. But now she would never be able to get that image out of her head, no matter how hard she tried. When she realized Kara was about to come, her heart skipped a beat and she quickly left the place, going back to her bathroom and satisfying her own needs, moaning the name of the woman that she loved, not daring to deny the love she felt inside her soul.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“Alex!” Winn complained again “Lena, please, it’s been over five minutes of her time!”

 

“I give up, Kara, fix this” Lena threw two hands in the air and saw Kara smile shyly.

 

“I’m busy trying to cut this cheese in perfect cubes” she answered, focused, cutting so slowly that the snack would probably be served only at the next game night “damn it…”

 

“They’re perfect, don’t ask too much of yourself” she complimented, honest, or maybe not so honestly.

 

“Is this a triangle or an unknown object?” Sam stepped in, teasing Kara because none of the cheeses looked like cubes “what do you think, James?”

 

“I thought it was leaning more towards the abstract” he joined the joke and Kara sighed, giving up, placing the knife on the sink and wearing an enormous pout.

 

“Lena!” She exclaimed slyly and their friends laughed.

 

“Trust me, don’t listen to these two idiots” she glared at them and Sam laughed even harder “they’re perfect, dear” she kissed her cheeks, not even thinking about the action.

 

James pokes Sam and she nodded, noticing the gesture too. He tried to convince Sam to leave the two of them alone, but the CFO would never miss an opportunity to witness that first-hand and tease her friend about it later.

 

“Try the olives” Kara held one cheese cube and one olive and waited for Lena to open her mouth “tell me what you think.”

 

“Hm,” she said before swallowing “delicious, can you put the toothpicks on the table, please?”

 

“Sure” Kara smiled and grabbed everything she needed to take to the living room.

 

“Alex! It’s my turn!” Winn complained again, crossing his arms and trying to convince the redhead to let go of his godchild.

 

“Quit being so annoying, she’s my niece” she smirked and went back to studying the girl’s blue eyes “your uncle is so unbearable, isn’t he, Liz? Hum?”

 

Lizzie babbled like she always did and put her whole fist inside her mouth, making a mess of spit.

 

“Alex, the deal was ten minutes each” Lena warned again but Alex promptly ignored it “you can’t say I didn’t try” she stroked poor Winn’s shoulders.

 

“Okay, let go of her and go see if Ruby wants to eat something” Sam simply said and Alex obeyed, putting on a pout and handing the baby to her girlfriend “there you go, Winn, all yours. And since you got her, the diaper is full so you got yourself a package deal” the guy grimaced hard and James snorted at him.

 

“Hey! You’re coming with me, I am not doing this alone again!” he pointed to his friend, who quickly stopped laughing and groaned in disbelief “you think it’s an easy thing to be an uncle?”

 

“You’re the godfather, where’s the possessiveness now?” James shot back and Kara walked to his side.

 

“You’re the moral support he needs, good luck” Kara cheered her friend and he sighed “you know where everything is, come back if she's clean” she winked.

 

James and Winn made their way through the hallway while the ladies finished setting the table and the games on the floor. Ruby was lying down under a pillow fortress that her aunt Kara had made especially for her and Agnes, but the dog didn’t lay there with her yet, waiting under the grown-ups' feet for some pizza crumbs. As they returned, Winn sat down on the floor and placed Lizzie over his legs, accommodating her comfortably and managing to get a pretty good view of the board. Everyone else sat down too and soon the snacks began to disappear from the plates and the conversation flew normally. That was her family, Lena thought to herself, observing the way Alex smiled at Sam, how James let her daughter hold his finger and Winn kept kissing her soft cheeks.

 

She then felt Kara's warm fingers intertwined with hers under the table and she turned to her softly.

 

“Are you okay?” Kara whispered.

 

“Yeah” she answered so lowly, only the hero would be able to listen.

 

“Okay, eyes on me and hear me up,” Sam asked for attention “Alex and I picked some games that aren’t board games, just for starters.”

 

“Why do I have the feeling I’m going to expose myself a lot more than I should?” Winn commented and James giggled.

 

“You do that whether it’s a game or not, my friend” he stroked his shoulders.

 

“Right, we’re going to divide ourselves into pairs and, of course, I already chose them” Alex explained, taking the pieces of paper out of a cup “it was random. The first pair is Sam and Kara, next it Lena and James and third it’s me and Winn” she continued “let’s trade places.”

 

“Why do I have to make a pair with Sam if I’m always with Lena?” Kara complained, of course, she was going to complain.

 

“Because it was random and it would be cheating to let the two of you be a pair,” Alex explained, sitting next to Winn.

 

“But that’s not fair” she sulked, seeing Lena sit next to James “I’m always a team with her, why does that have to change?” she sighed “I don’t like this game already....”

 

“Kara, it’s only the first game, I promise we’ll be a pair in the next one” Lena tried to intervene but Kara was far from giving up “she’s not going to change her mind, is she?” Lena turned to Alex.

 

“No, no she won’t” Alex nodded.

 

“C’mon, get in here” James got up and winked at the blonde, who smiled largely and almost stepped on the table.

 

“Satisfied?” Lena provoked but it didn’t even bother Kara.

 

“Very” she held her hand, forgetting everyone else could see it, and then fix her glasses.

 

The rest of the group pretended they didn’t see anything and Alex cleared her throat for attention once again.

 

“May I continue or is the miss going to keep interrupting me?’ Alex crossed her arms and Kara stuck her tongue at her.

 

“C’mon, Alex, what are the rules?” James questioned.

 

“I picked some funny questions and wrote them in these little papers inside this” she showed the plastic pot “they’re about your pairs and, if you get them wrong, you have to reveal a secret.”

 

“So I take the paper and ask the question for Sam and if she doesn’t get it right, she has to say a secret, right?” he repeated for confirmation and they agreed.

 

“Let’s start from my pair, which is actually a trinity” Alex looked over to her niece who was on the brink of falling asleep on her godfather’s lap, making little sounds with the pacifier “pick one.”

 

“What weird behavior does your pair have?” Winn read “what kind of question is that?”

 

“I don’t know, I found them on the internet” she shrugged “secret habit… you’re the weirdest guy I’ve ever met.”

 

“Hey, no need to offend,” Winn complained.

 

“Just answer it!”

 

“Right, I think it’s going to the nerdy movie session at your neighborhood theatre just to be able to talk about Star Wars freely and get to flirt with the box office girl” Winn blushed in fifty shades of red and scoffed “did I get it right?”

“I don’t go there to flirt with her!” He defended his honor. “I just like appreciating people with the same tastes as me.”

 

“I know what that appreciation looked like” Sam teased and Lena snorted.

 

“You two now,” Alex said and Kara grabbed the pot, picking a paper “this will be fun…”

 

“Right, okay” Kara turned to Lena “What funny habit did your pair develop in the last months?”

 

Lena smirked and Kara widened her eyes. She knew very well what was in the CEO’s mind and there was not a chance in the world she would let her say it.

 

“Lena, no, please no” she was practically on her knees, begging “I’ll do anything, please don’t say it!”

 

“But I haven’t said anything yet, how do you know my answer?” Lena cocked a brow. Of course, Kara knew her answer.

 

“Because I know you better than anyone” she spat the words desperately.

 

“Wow, that’s low,” Winn commented, smiling and Alex agreed.

 

“Anything?” Lena repeated and Kara nodded “Truly anything?”

 

“Kara, you’re so going to regret things,” Sam said in between laughs.

 

“Ugh, Lena!” she sighed “anything, I promise.”

 

Lizzi then began complaining and crying, clearly hungry. Lena picked her from Winn’s arms and settled her in hers, undoing her shirt and asking for kara to cover the exposed skin with a scarf. And so the game went on.

 

“Now you have to tell us a secret” Alex pointed out “What does Lena Luthor hide from the world?” she smirked maliciously and winked at her.

 

“Let’s go to my bedroom and I’ll show you” Lena provoked back. Kara hid her face with her hands and Sam almost spat the beer she was drinking.

 

“Ten points for the Luthor” Winn cheered and high-fived Lena.

 

“Well, when I was about fourteen, Lilian found out I was in love with this girl from my class and that’s why I stayed late at school every Thursday” she explained “one day, I was waiting there, at the same time and my teacher called me to her office and told me that her parents had found out about us and had sent her for a boarding school in Austria” Kara had never listened to the story and was more than curious about it “I felt so bad for her that I drowned myself in books as barely left the house since her dream was to graduate there because of her end of semester physics project. Anyway, years later I found out my mother had a part in it.”

 

“Lena, you were supposed to tell us a secret, not a tragic backstory,” Alex retorted “and by the way, where’s the secret in this?”

 

“Will you let me finish or are you going to keep annoying me for the rest of the night” Lena glared and Alex giggled “since I found out the truth, at that time my brother was developing a new prototype for a Luthor-Corp machine, so I invaded his lab during of my visits with Lionel and sabotaged the project. I took off some pieces it would take long for him to notice and traded them for more fragile ones. He was never able to get it done for sale” she shrugged as if it was any normal story “and that’s how Luthors are raised, James” she winked at him, who chuckled.

 

The relationship between them was in good water now, James stopped arguing with her, though he still had some hesitancy regarding Lena, he accepted his friend’s choice. Also, he was in love with Lizzie and couldn’t resist her little blue eyes. And so, they were cool now and didn't bring up any of the past subjects or fights.

 

“I chose to love the right person” Alex smiled and Lena smirked at her “okay, now you two.”

 

“Okay,” Sam grabbed a paper “what is the most unusual place your pair has had sex in?”

 

“How will I know that?” James complained.

 

“It’s simple, I’m dating Alex” the redhead just put two hands up in rendition “think.”

 

“I don’t know…” he sighed “the kitchen?”

 

“Men…” Sam shook her head “always so unimaginative… It was at the DEO’S medical ward.”

 

Winn spat his drink and Lena had to hold back a loud laugh to now scare her daughter, who was still feeding. Kaar wished she was deaf.

 

Sam! Ugh… he is the one supposed to tell the sordid secret, not you!” Kara exclaimed and James was still processing the information and chose not to get into the details.

 

“Oh, another thing,” Sam continued.

 

“Here we go,” Winn sighed, still a little out of breath.

 

“I’ve never had a threesome” she revealed, sparking a little curiosity out of her girlfriend.

 

“And would you like to?” Alex questioned, leaving everyone silent.

 

“In the past maybe, but now I’m not sure, because if someone that isn’t me touches you, I won’t be held accountable for my actions” she shrugged, taking another sip of the bottle “perhaps if it was Lena, we didn’t get the chance for it in school.”

 

“Wow” Alex laughed loudly “you’re making my fantasies come true here” she joined the silliness.

 

But there was a certain someone who wasn’t happy about the subject. Not a tiny bit.

 

Kara got up suddenly and went to the kitchen, completely silent and not looking back. Alex moved to go after her but Lena stopped the motion, she knew very well how she was feeling and she should be the one to fix the situation and make Kaar understand that it was just a joke. Lena took advantage of the fact that Lizzie had fallen asleep, making her burp quickly and walking after Kara, leaving the rest of the group talking and laughing at the absurd question game. She sighed and tried not to stutter. It was weird that they still felt jealous of each other since they weren’t together and were free to be whoever they wanted. But, apparently, neither of them wanted that. And the stubbornness of their hearts was too massive to be fought by their minds.

 

“Kara, are you okay?” Lena touched her lower back lightly and waited for a response.

 

“Would you really do it with them? I mean… my sister or, uh… Sam, or both…” she questioned looking down, fidgeting with the end of her shirt “I… I know I shouldn’t ask this, I…”

 

“Of course I won’t do it, Alex is my friend and your sister, and Sam is my best friend” Lena pointed out.

 

“I was your best friend too,” Kara retorted. Rao, why did it have to be so hard?

 

“That was different and you know it. I always wanted you to be something more” Kara smiled weakly at the confession, though still feeling a bit insecure “and now you’re always going to be something more. Always.”

 

“Really?” Lena nodded quietly at the question “I’m sorry…”

 

“There’s no need to apologize, I know how you feel” Lena confessed a little awkwardly, and then they looked at Lizzie, who squirmed in her mother’s arms “maybe she needs a little time with her yeyu” Kara smiled and took the baby in her arms, kissing her cheeks so gently Lena held her breath at the sight.

 

They took Lizzie to her crib and took a look in Kara’s bedroom, where Ruby was focused on her book, eating the pizza slices her mom had brought her. However, when they looked inside the pillow fortress, they found the girl deeply asleep and Agnes resonating next to her belly. Kara and Lena smiled at each other, taking the dirty dishes out, closing the book, and covering the girl with a blanket, then going back to the living room and sitting at the same spot. The questions went on, only getting funnier and weirder. At the end of the night, the Luthor-Danvers family won and that was exactly why Alex didn’t want them to be a team.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Sunday morning was agitated. Lena rolled in bed and felt another warm body, but smaller than the one she was used to. She yawned, stretched her arms, and cleared her eyes, looking around for her baby first. Lizzie was already awake, babbling quickly, both hands and feet on air. Lena smiled delightedly and then turned to whoever was by her side. The balcony door was open but the curtains were closed, indicating that kara had left early. She moved the sheets slowly, trying not to laugh at the situation. Suddenly the sheet was pulled up and the mattress moved with a sudden motion.

 

“Good morning Ruby” Lena giggled and pulled the sheets down again.

 

“Hum… good morning, aunt Lena” the girl smiled sleepily and turned to the woman, still yawning “your bed is so warm.”

 

“And that’s your excuse to come and join me?” Lena teased, letting the kid hug her body.

 

“Uhum, and I didn’t want to be alone” she confessed “I heard a thud earlier so I ran here and got under the blanket and stayed very quiet” they laughed.

 

“Don’t let Lizzie find out you slept here, she gets jealous” Lena whispered, hearing her daughter babbled and yelp, turning upside down “see?”

 

“She can be in the middle here, that’s alright” they laughed and sat up “can I pick her up?”

 

“How about you bring her to the living room and turn on the tv while I make us breakfast?” Lena suggested calmly, fixing the hair falling over Ruby’s face. In her head, Lena could picture a thirteen-year-old Lizzie, escaping from her bed in the middle of the night to go snuggle with her mom, hugging her in the morning, asking for a different breakfast.

 

Her heart was inflated with love in a way she never thought would be possible.

 

On the other side of the town, the DEO was facing some problems. Apparently, two metahumans, matching the same characteristics as the other ones, were on the loose, near the docks and destroying everything around them. The yellow light glowed in the brinks of their bodies, their eyes were red and they certainly didn’t know what they were doing. The agents divided themselves, coming out of the black vans and running to protect the civilians. Alex was in charge of the mission, anxiously waiting for Kara to show up since she was caught up in another situation in another part of town. Winn told her everything that was going on through the device and Alex did her best to prevent anyone from getting hurt.

 

One of the metahumans was a blonde young man, skinny but it seemed he was the strong one there. The other one looked like Hugo, but taller and completely disoriented.

 

Alex, on your left!

 

The redhead fired her gun and her body was hit by a metal plaque making a loud thud and breaking all the concrete benches that were facing the sea.

 

“Alex!” The hero’s arrival soon got everyone’s attention.

 

However, another figure landing made itself known and the agents watched the black cape and red cape walk together.

 

Supergirl turned around and smiled, surprised. Reign rarely joined her fights, but since the parking lot incident, she was more friendly, not in the broad sense of the word, of course. But it was a good thing, help was always welcome.

 

“You brought back up?” Alex asked sarcastically, but her heart was pounding inside her chest. All she could see was her girlfriend and that worried her to death.

 

“Did I?” Supergirl turned to Reign.

 

“Speak less, fight more” Reign said dryly and flew. Supergirl shrugged and giggled to herself.

 

That was going to be interesting.

 

The fight went on, Winn helped with their positions and soon the other metahuman joined in. Neither of them quite knew how to fight or defend themselves properly, but they were strong, extremely strong, and had the help of the radioactive thing on their chest. The people were screaming and Alex redistributed her agent to clear the area again, moving civilians to the other side. It was hard to keep control of the situation, the mess and dust scattered around the city as the heroes moved and flew after the guys. Besides being strong, they were fast and agile.

 

“Winn, what do you got?” Supergirl requested.

 

The blond dude used to work in a factory in town, he has a teenage son that lives in the suburbs.

 

“Right, what about the other two?”

 

The older one has a wife that lives by the beach near the docks. He's a fisherman and has a fish shop that sells fried balls of cod.

 

“And why should I know that?”

 

I don’t know, maybe it’s important.

 

Kara rolled her eyes and let him finish. Winn still hadn't managed to find the other man’s register and so he asked for more time. And so, Supergirl went back to fight side by side with Reign, who did not hesitate to use her full strength on them and that was very alarming. The investigation on Hugo didn’t go very far because he was dead, there was no way of interrogating him and finding out he had disappeared. So they couldn’t kill those ones now, well, Kara would never kill, ever. But Reign didn’t worry about the morals and ethics of a right and she would certainly break those three in half if she had the opportunity.

 

“Reign!” Kara called out and the woman turned to her furiously “You’re not supposed to kill them! Just…”

 

“Hit them?” She cut it. Supergirl frowned, unsure of what to answer “I can’t promise anything” she was dry, as usual.

 

“No! We need them alive” Kara screamed again and flew after her “you can hit them all you want but you have to let them live!”

 

“You are so boring!” She sighed.

 

“Yeah! Hit it!” she raised her hand in a high five and Reign wrinkled her brows, ignoring the hand.

 

“Hit you?” she asked and promptly punched the hero in the face and both fell to the floor.

 

“Are you insane?” Kara groaned in pain “You were supposed to hit my hand!”

 

“Why? What’s the meaning of that?” Rao! Kara thought to herself. She’s even more clueless than me.

 

“Forget it.”

 

Supergirl! We need you in the west part of town!

 

“Can’t do it now, Winn.”

 

“Supergirl!” Alex screamed, running towards her “just go!”

 

It's an order! J’onn is calling you!

 

“Just go!” Reign said impatiently and pushed her.

 

“It’s Lena” Alex finally managed to catch a breath “more bounty hunters, they’re… on the way to the penthouse. J’onn got there in time but he needs you.”

 

“I’ll stay,” Reign said and Supergirl hugged her “what the hell are you doing?” she screamed furiously and pushed her away.

 

“Hugging you, duh.”

 

“I don’t do hugs, I hate hugs!” her eyes were shining in red rage.

 

“Impossible” Kara retorted, before flying away.

 

Alex sighed and looked at the woman in front of her. She looked as if she was fighting an internal battle, her eyes went from red to brown at incredible speed. Alex didn’t understand how that was possible, but she could see Sam’s shadow in there. That’s when their eyes met and Reign tensed up. Alex got scared and Reign groaned again, completely enraged, and followed Supergirl’s flying path.

 

She had remembered Ruby was also in the penthouse.

Notes:

Don't forget to comment and leave kudos! <3

Chapter 27: Two Kryptonians and a Half

Notes:

hey guys! Guess what! I'm late! (are you used to it yet?)

Last Sunday was my 18th birthday so I was a bit busy :)

And also, about that test I took about a month ago, some of you asked for updates and well, I didn't pass :(

[but don't worry I actually did pretty good and will take the test in December again and I'm pretty confident :)]

 

ANYWAYS, enough about me, here's a 12k chapter for you guys. Thanks for the love!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The thud on the asphalt made the sidewalk tremble and a thin crack open up, sliding the street from up and down. Two men looked back, while the other three continued their attempt to break into Lena Luthor’s building. It was chaos and National City’s department police were unable to contain the mess that it had become. The doorman closed the doors and hid inside the designed room, no one went in or out. The other residents peaked from their windows curiously, not sure if they should call for help or just wait for it to be over inside their respective apartment. The police cars glowed blue and red lights, and a yellow tape was now surrounding the building, some cops were uselessly trying to change the traffic for another avenue.

 

All eyes were focused on two imposing figures, one very familiar and loved by all, the other was a doubtful character and no one liked her mysterious person. After all, only a few are comfortable with the unknown. Supergirl looked at her new ally and smiled, though she didn’t understand why Reign had followed her. At her sign, the team moved and the fight began, taking a bigger proportion than expected, once the five men showed their alien weaponry. That made Supegirl hesitate, but the girl of steel would do anything and more to keep her family safe. Reign was fighting with ease, getting rid of the bounty hunters and throwing them far away, making little rage sounds.

 

Kara didn’t understand why she was always so grumpy and would use her full strength all the time. However, for an unknown reason, she doesn't care about it now.

 

“Where is Lena?” Kara questioned the ear gadget.

 

J’onn got her out of the apartment. They’re on the way here.

 

“And what about Alex?”

 

Still, with the metahuman, we managed to capture two but the other one escaped and she went after him.

 

“Okay, keep me posted.”

 

Suddenly, a shadow went in her direction, but the black cape blocked her sight and got in between her body and the massive block of concrete that broke with the impact. That caused an imbalance, giving a man a chance to shoot until the light blinded them and so, the other one pulled Supergirl by the uniform, dragging her through the sidewalk and kicking her ribs repeatedly. Reign was still trying to dodge the shots, using her hands to protect her eyes and feeling her face burn with rage, getting completely impatiently. Inside her, a voice was begging for her to limit herself, to not cross any line, while the other voice ordered for her to break those five men with just one hand. She sighed, tired of that fighting, and pushed the men far, using her super-speed to reach one of them and grab his neck tight.

 

He screamed for help, at the same time that Supegirl groaned with the impact of white light hitting her chest. She was thrown to the other side of the street, her body opening a new hole on the asphalt and only stopping at Reign’s feet. Reign threw the man against the wall of another building, making him go through three walls of concrete and watching him pass out as soon as the movement stopped. She helped Kara up, already noticing two other men running towards them. Kara turned to her, both thinking the same thing and focusing on the same place over their heads. Kara nodded, Reign agreed silently and her eyes glowed in intense red, making everything more dangerous than it already was. Trusting Reign was a shot in the dark, no one knew her, practically no one could assure Reign was good or that she wouldn’t turn her back on Supergirl at any given moment.

 

But something in her eyes made Kara trust her.

 

Kara stepped back, counting the exact six steps, and kept her focus to a diagonal forty-five angle, breathing heavily and hearing her own desperate heartbeat. As soon as she gave another sign, Reign let her eyelids burn with the heat vision, impacting against the white incandescent laser that came out of the gun. The two powers held on steady, feeling the impact and the strength that Reign had. She screamed in the heat of the moment, using her full potential to keep them distracted, while Kara let her own heat vision blind her blue eyes. And it was a perfect shot. The solid metal lamppost, falling and taking with itself the wires and other two other lampposts, like a domino effect. The intention wasn’t to kill, it never was, but there was a great chance they wouldn’t survive that.

 

Before the two guys could run, the weight of the iron fell over their bodies, leaving them unconscious.

 

There were only two left now, and one of them, realizing that it was a lost cause, ran to the other side, while the other took advantage of the heroes’ distraction and managed to go through the police barrier, getting to the building hall.

 

“Get everyone out of here!” Supergirl screamed at one of the policemen and he promptly obeyed. “I need you to clear the street and the nearest venue!” she held his shoulder.

 

“O-okay” he swallowed dry.

 

“I get the one in the building and you get the other,” Kara said to Reign.

 

“Do I hit or kill?” she asked, making Kara hesitate.

 

Just that simple question made two parts of herself get into an internal conflict. To kill. Kara didn’t kill, that was never her choice, but Reign didn’t have the same ethics as her but an ethic that would choose the opposite path. However, the heroic and just part of her soul, begged for her to continue to believe that everyone deserved the pay for their mistakes, that death was a too easy way out, too unfair for those who stuck around to see another day rise. But, at the same time begged, almost cried, for revenge. Revenge against those who hunted her daughter, a person that didn’t even understand the concept of danger yet. Kara felt rage, grudge, and a type of anguish that was different from everything that she had ever felt. And that was eating her from the inside. She wanted to crush those men with her own hands, prove that was capable of anything for the woman that she loved, for the daughter, she swore to protect. She wanted to look into their eyes, to see the bloodstream out of their body and see life slowly fade from their lungs.

 

It was so intense it hurt her, it left her breathless and it made her want to scream because she didn’t know what to answer. The feeling was too human for someone like her.

 

Reign noticed that and took it as the answer she needed. If Supergirl wasn't going to do it, she was. After all, silence is yes, no matter the subject.

 

Kara watched as the black cape disappeared like a shadow, and that pulled her back to reality. She shook her head, pushing the thoughts and the guilt inside her chest away, and flew up. As she fought against the bounty hunter, she caught a glimpse of the man being dragged down the street, the legs were limp and his face was covered in blood. Reign was not delicate, especially when she was acting out of rage. Kara sighed and told herself silently that maybe that violence was necessary. Someone had to show superiority in a situation like that.

 

Kara hit her fist on the man’s chin for the seventh time, breaking the gun over his legs and raising him by his shirt, hearing him scream from the pain and squirm his way out. As she reached the sidewalk again, a deafening scream echoed through the block, the policemen closed their eyes and looked away, the residents closed their windows and went inside their houses, unable to watch it. Once Kara saw what had happened. She saw Reign finish breaking the guy's arm bones and twist his neck as one twists a doll. She swallowed dry. That man was dead and she needed to end that as soon as possible.

 

“Hit or kill?” being asked again, pointing at the only man left, his eyes widened in terror.

 

“No, no, no… no! I’ll tell you whatever you want, please no!” he begged, the tears washing the grey dust on his face “please!”

 

Supergirl threw him on the floor, maybe too hard, and stopped next to her new partner, turning to her with her hands on her waist.

 

“You decide” Kara stared at her new partner and she smiled.

 

“No! I s-swear! I w-will answer it, please, don’t l-let her…” he crawled on his knees on the asphalt and tried to grab her red skirt. The despair was almost palpable.

 

“Who sent you here?” Reign grabbed his shirt and raised him over her shoulder “who?” screamed.

 

“I d-don’t know, I just… I j-just got the message, we all did and the reward is so high!” he explained himself and it sounded truthful “every day it rises, the price for the child is so high…”

 

“Damn it!” Kara mumbled and nervously fixed her hair.

 

“I want names!” Reign shook him, gripping the shirt even tighter.

 

“I don’t know” he answered with a yelp “I don’t… I don’t know! Please, I swear I’ll never come back, just let me go, please!”

 

Reign turned to Supegirl and waited for an answer or at least a reaction. And got nothing in return. Reign sighed and her eyes glowed red again.

 

“No, no, no!” the man closed his eyes and it all went dark.

 

“What have you done?” Kara finally stepped out of her mind as she noticed the body fall lifeless on the ground.

 

“You didn’t answer, I killed him” she shrugged.

 

“Are you insane? You were supposed to wait for my answer!” Kara exclaimed, “we’re a team!”

 

“How dare you call me insane?” Reign pushed her shoulders and rolled her eyes “and I don’t work for you, or with you, we’re not a team!” she screamed, angry “you’re too useless!”

 

“Excuse me?” Kara pushed her shoulders back “take it back!”

 

“Not in a million years!” Reigned looked at her intensely, approximating their bodies and breathing heavily.

 

Kara exhaled and frowned

 

“Take it back or I….”

 

“Or you’ll what?” she challenged. But Kara simply smiled.\

 

“Or I’ll hug you again” she threatened. Reign widened her eyes and the panic was entirely real.

 

Supergirl threw her whole body of hers and they fell on the floor.

 

“Get off of me, I’ll break your nose in little pieces, let go of me!” her anger got more and more evident, but Kara didn’t mind “Get off!” she tried at any cost to free herself from Kara’s touch.

 

“Take it back!” and, of course, she didn’t “do it!”

 

“You’re unbearable!” Reign kicked her lower stomach and saw Supergirl writhe in pain, taking advantage of the distraction to get away out of the girl of steel’s arms.

 

“You’re my team” Kara kept teasing and got a punch in her chest in return “ugh! That hurt!”

 

“I’m not your team!” they wrestled on the floor and Supegirl managed to get on top “get off of me!”

“Admit that you’re my partner and I will” she smiled, having fun.

 

“Never!” Reign exclaimed rapid and changed positions, now coming out on top “I will never be your partner, I work alone!”

 

“Nope, you work with me” Kara knew she was playing with fire, but something kept her going, a wish to test her limits “high five, partner!”

 

And this time, it was Reign who smiled.

 

“As you wish, Supergirl.”

 

And the last thing Kara saw was a fist directed towards her nose and the pain had never felt so real.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

The agents only managed to bring in two of the three metahumans, the other, fortunately, or unfortunately, had thrown himself against many stakes nailed to the floor and his body agonized until life left. The other two were still trying to escape as if that was their only chance of finding peace in their disturbed minds. With a little bit of time and Winn getting more information, Alex realized they were trying to get to their families, taking the easy way, but losing control of their thoughts as they were occupied by the radioactive power in their bodies. As they got into the DEO’s medical wars, Alex injected enough tranquilizer to allow them to rest and was now going to work in a way to get the radiation out of them so they could be interrogated later.

 

It was going to be a long job, but at least Clark had sent in some information on how to do that.

 

Supergirl came in a little later, one hand holding the bleeding nose and the other clutching her lower stomach. She said hello to a few agents, greeted Winn, who was talking to Ruby, and went to look for the boss. Her biggest worry now, besides almost losing her nose, was knowing if the girls were okay. She limped her way upstairs, her powers had suffered a solar outburst and it would take some time to come back. She walked through the corridor, listening to two perfect heartbeats that made her own beat rush in anticipation. Kara took a deep breath and then opened the resting room’s door, finding Lena, still in her pajamas, sitting over the bed and breastfeeding Lizzie, who was also in her pj’s. The black hair fell on her shoulders, wavy as they always were after she woke up and looked so much like her daughter’s hair. She smiled, terribly in love, when the crystal green eyes met hers.

 

Lena smiled weakly and called her with a finger, pointing to the empty space next to her on the mattress. Kara nodded and walked with difficulty, taking immense care to not wake the baby up.

 

“Liz, your yeyu is here '' Lena whispered, seeing the little baby slowly open her eyes, “tell her she needs to be more careful” Lena turned to Kara again. A million words were spoken in the fast silence.

 

“Are you two okay?” Kara asked and Lena nodded, soon their fingers intertwined together “I… I was so scared…” she confessed.

 

“Me too,” Lena murmured, scared.

 

“I’m sorry about this, I… I don’t know what to do, it seems like we're never going to have peace and I feel guilty because I can’t even protect my own family, I’m not capable of keeping you two safe and I should… I s-should...:” she sighed, fighting against the weight on her throat “I’m… I’m sorry…”

 

“Kara, breath” Lena squeezes her hand lightly “no matter what you do or decide not to do, we’re not going anywhere without you, okay?” Kara didn’t answer and let one tear stream down her dusty cheeks “look at me, darling.”

 

And so she obeyed, losing focus for a brief moment, alongside her breath.

 

“I don’t want you to kill anyone for us, or sacrifice yourself” Kara could feel the supplication and fear in Lena’s voice, but she decided not to overthink it “I want you to promise me that you’re not going to do anything crazy, we’re your family and we need you” Lena put the cards on the table in all seriousness “promise me…”

 

“Lena…”

 

“Just promise” she breathed heavily and Lizzie let go of her nipple, looking at her mothers with attention.

 

Kara let the girl hold her finger and everything seemed to go quieter with that touch. However, Lena was still waiting for an answer. So she put their bodies even closer, touching skin and skin on that little bed and embracing Lena in a painful and awkward hug. She kissed the dark hair gently, kissed her forehead devotedly, and, at last, kissed her cheeks as a sign that she would keep that promise, though it hurt deep inside not to break it. Kara thought of all the moments they had lived to get to this moment, but she wished she could run away with them to somewhere far away, where nothing would disturb them, where nothing would keep Kara from screaming that she loved Lena, even though Lena wouldn’t say it back.

 

Lena laid her head on the hero’s chest, the symbol of house El under her cheeks, and pulled Lizzie to the comfort too. Silently, Lena swore with all of her being that she would do whatever it took to end whoever was trying to mess with her life. That was her family, the reason why Lena continued to breathe and fight every day. No, Lilian wasn’t going to take that away from her. She wasn’t going to allow it to happen. Lena held on tighter to Kara’s body, getting so close she could hear the heartbeat behind the skin of steel. She was going to protect Lizzie and Kara forever, even if it cost her her life.

 

Because she loved them.

 

Lena loved Lizzie.

 

And she loved Kara. Vene though she had never said it aloud

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

The days went by fast and September came with its humid breeze, showing the summer days were slowly leaving. One week and a half had passed since the bounty hunters incident and the DEO was working non-stop to figure out who was responsible for the expensive target on Lizzie’s head. The attention doubled, alongside the watch team around the penthouse. It would be too messy to move out. Alex even tried to convince Lena to move into Kara’s old apartment, since it would be easier to protect them and outwit everyone who was trying to kidnap the girl. But Lena said no, she wasn't going to change her whole life to run away, she wanted to stay and fight. She promised she would do anything to keep her daughter safe and sound and she intended on keeping the promise. It was unfair to take her baby out of her familiar home to live with the mess moving out would be.

 

Also, the penthouse was much bigger than Kara’s place, not that it mattered before when it was just the two of them, the apartment was the perfect place. Now, however, they had a child that was growing fast and was a lot messier than any normal five months old baby. And there was Agnes, and all of Lena’s stuff, all of her work. It was tiring to even think of migrating homes and having to deal with sleepless nights, dust, and piles of boxes to pack and unpack. She came to an agreement with J’onn and Alex that she would only move out if it was extremely necessary, that Kara’s apartment would only be a refuge and no one could know of that plan. They agreed and the department’s radar began to focus on every Luthor-Danvers family member step.

 

During that afternoon, Alex, Sam, Kara, and Lena agreed to meet at Sam’s place to talk. Many subjects had to be discussed, decisions had to be made and some ‘i’s’ had to be dotted. However, Supergirl was called in early and Alex, of course, was involved, just like her girlfriend who incorporated some weird alien that liked dark capes. So, Lena took some time to figure out an issue that had been bothering her. She didn’t exactly talk to Kara about the bounty hunter's situation, on why that was happening, she didn’t even tell her Lilian wanted Lizzie to never know her real identity. That conversation was locked up inside her throat, she didn’t dare to verbalize as Lilian had said weeks ago. Lena knew Kara was going to agree because she blamed herself day and night and she would choose to leave.

 

Lena would never allow that to happen.

 

And so, she kept it a secret and chose to deal with that problem alone. Her friends fought at the gun field, in the physical combat area, while Lena preferred mental combat, using words as weapons. She straightened Lizzie’s clothes, packed her bag, and called the last saved number on her phone, confirming the plan she had come up with hours ago. Lena might be lying to Kara, she might be risking herself and might never be able to fix what needed fixing in a rush, but there was one promise she was going to keep: Lena would not let Lizzie be in the same room as Lilian. She still remembered when Kara asked her that, almost begging to not put her through that. And Lena respected it. She took a deep breath and turned to the baby, already twirling on her stomach, playing with the little chain connecting the pacifier to her shirt. Lena smiled, in love, her soul hurting for having to leave her for the first time.

 

It was a sacrifice she was willing to make for her. For Kara. For her family.

 

Love does require difficult choices, sometimes stupid ones, but always difficult.

 

The doorbell rang and the sound echoed throughout the empty five-floor tall building, in the middle of National City. The smile that greeted Lena was inviting, tender, but also concerned. He was the only person Lena trusted enough to keep her secret, to the point where he wouldn’t interfere and would take care of her most special person. Winn tried to get her to come to it, perhaps in the hope of taking her out of it, rethinking her actions, or at least stall until Kara showed up and got her out of the mess. It was no use, of course. Lena explained for the thousandth time where all things were, she wrote down the times Lizzie was usually fed and showed her favorite toys leaving a paper informing all the best ways to take care of the baby.

 

Lena kissed her face, caressing the thin hair and looking at Lizzie trying to show all the love that flooded her. She thanked Winn for taking that responsibility and asked him to call if he needed anything. Especially if Lizzie started crying and wanted one of her mothers back. She promised him she wouldn’t take long and would figure an excuse to explain to Kara why she had left so early. Winn didn’t agree with the plan, something inside himself was warning it was too dangerous to face Lilian Luthor alone, after all, she did put a prize over her granddaughter’s head, what wouldn’t she do to her daughter? He sighed, inconsolable, and chose to be quiet, taking his goddaughter inside and internally hoping he would be able to keep her alive for the next hour.

 

The silence inside the car was sepulchral, only invaded by the sounds of other vehicles outside the dark glass. Lena’s breathing hitched every kilometer closer as if her soul could sense the pain about to come from her choices. Looking in her mother’s eyes was like putting her hand in hot metal, at first, it hurt, it burnt and stung. But, as it turned out, the human body has an amazing capacity to adapt, to make a situation that used to bother you, become usual. Normal. And that was how Lena felt now, apathetic, used to have her skin burnt for the actions of someone who claimed to love her, just to get what she wanted.

 

“What a surprise,” Lilian said in a tone that varied from sarcasm to something else “come in” she opened up some space and closed the door behind them. The mansion continued the same way and the conversation that took place in the dinner that took place there still made Lena feel ill.

 

“I won’t take long I just came to tell you something” Lena turned to her and tightened the grip of her fingers on her purse.

 

“Why the hurry?” Lilian smiled cynic “sit down. Can I get you something to drink? I have your favorite wine.”

 

“I’m not drinking” even if she was allowed now, Lena wanted to keep her body healthy.

 

“Oh, of course” she poured her a glass of water “where is my granddaughter?”

 

“With Kara” Lena lied and somehow, the glow on her mother’s eyes showed she knew that was a lie.

 

“What do you want to talk about?” Lilian sat down next to her and crossed her legs, a familiar action for Lena. When she was a child, she used to mimic her mother’s behavior and habits, trying her best to look like her, to be the daughter that she wanted. In her head, everyone looked at her as if she was just an orphan, that Lionel took pity on and so kept her under his roof.

 

Little did they know that Lena truly was a Luthor.

 

“I just came to tell you that I agree with what you said,” Lena nodded, taking a sip of water and feeling the cold liquid run down her throat “Lizzie is in danger if Supergirl continues to be a part of her life, if Kara…” she took a deep breath, focusing firmly to keep her line “if she remains with me, my daughter won’t survive.”

 

“And what do you intend to do?” the amusement in her lips was visible “know that I am very proud of your decision. I always knew you were smart, that you were more like us than you seem.

 

“I just need some time, Kara won’t simply leave” Lena explained, “I need to find a reason for her to want to leave, and then I’m going to need a place to stay until it is all figured out and she won’t look for me anymore.”

 

“You will always be welcomed here, Lena” Lilian pulled her body for a hug and Lena allowed herself to lean her head over her shoulder. A hug. She didn’t even remember when Lilian had had such contact with her “this is your home, Lizzie will grow up the same and we’ll keep her away from everything that is wrong.

 

“Thank you, mom.”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“Ruby! Be careful with that!” Sam screamed to her daughter, but she was too distracted to listen “well, I tried…”

 

“Leave them, they get along,” Lena said smiling, carrying some plates to the living room table “where’s Alex?”

 

“Finishing her shower” Sam organized the cups and moved the pillows aside “what about Kara?”

 

“She is…” the loud thud on the balcony made both of them turn around “here” her eyes glowed and Sam held back to not snicker “hey, I thought you were taking the bus.”

 

“I did… er, until halfway and then…” Kara scoffed, “I just wanted to arrive faster.”

 

“Perks of being Kryptonian” Alex commented, showing up with wet hair and stealing a sandwich on the table “hum, this is very good!”

 

“Of course it is, you weren’t the one who made them” Lena teased and received a grimace in return.

 

“Said the person who only knows how to fry an egg” Alex retorted and threw herself on the couch.

 

“At least I know how to make something without burning the entire kitchen” Lena sat down beside her, Sam took her other side and Kara placed herself next to Lena “admit it, cooking isn’t a Danvers thing.”

 

“Hey!” Kara snapped, “I know how to make a variety of pancakes.”

 

“Putting different toppings on them isn’t a variety, Kara” Sam pointed out and the blonde pouted immediately “God, how do you resist that face?”

 

“Usually I don’t” Lena confessed, making them laugh loudly “you need to see when Lizzie does the same.”

 

“You two are softies,” Alex said “Kara used to do that when she was younger and my mom always did what she wanted.”

 

“Because I’m incredibly cute and better than you” Kara teased, receiving a pillow to her face in return “it’s just facts, Alex. But you are not innocent here, remember who used to pretend she was sick to get ice cream? And would put on eyewash to pretend she was crying?”

 

“Some people aren\t as easy criers as you, dumbass!” Alex defended herself “I was just a great actress.”

 

“You were just fake,” Lena called out.

 

“She still is,” Sam shrugged and Alex widened her eyes “are you going to disagree?” She cocked a brow.

 

“Don’t look at me like that, you know I can’t think straight,” Alex smirked. “I may not be good at cooking but I’m pretty good at eating” she winked, making her girlfriend flush and Lena giggle. Kara took a while to get it, but once she did, a very explicit frown was seen.

 

“Someone is hungry today,” Lena teased again.

 

“Jealousy much?” Alex looked at her sister and then at Lena again “Kara also has a very interesting ability.”

 

Lena, Kara, and Sam wrinkled their brows, waiting for what was to follow.

 

“She sucked on her thumb until she was sixteen.”

 

“Alex!” Kara complained angrily and hid her face between her hands “that was supposed to be a secret! Do you know what s-e-c-r-e-t means?”

 

“Supergirl was supposed to be a secret and look how that went” Alex shot back quick “and I’m just trying to prove a point.”

 

“Which is…?” Sam led on.

 

“That my sister is good at…”

 

“No!” Kara jumped on the two friends and reached her sister, closing her mouth with her hands, almost breaking it in half “shut up!”

 

“Kara!” Lena tried to break it up but the laughter got in the way. She knew well what Kara was good at.

 

And oh, how she knew it. And her body reacted instantly with the memories. Sam looked at her friend and noticed the way her cheeks turned bright red.

 

“Looks like someone knows little Danvers’s abilities very well” The CEO provoked, hearing her friend grunt in embarrassment “it’s no coincidence you got knocked up.”

 

“Well, what can I say?” Lena shrugged and smiled jokingly “we do make pretty babies.”

 

“Lena!” Kara hid her face in her sister’s shirt, still spread on the couch, on top of the three of them “can we change subjects?”

 

“Do you move your tongue as fast as you run?” Sam suddenly spat the question.

 

“Rao!”

 

“Oh my God, Sam!” Alex didn’t know whether to laugh or breathe “I didn’t want to know that!”

 

“It’s a valid question!” Sam defended.

 

“Ah, it sure is, especially now that you can do the same” Lena pointed out, and only then Sam remembered she had the same powers as Kara.

 

“Wait, what?” Alex was confused “can you?”

 

“Do you want to test it right now?” Sam winked, smirking.

 

“Rao! You’re disgusting!” Kara rolled to the floor “Can we stop talking about our sex lives like it’s a lunch subject?”

 

Her cheeks were burning red and she didn’t want to talk about that matter, especially because her sex life was non-existent, except for that thing she did once she was alone in the bathroom.

 

“Careful, kryptonians are good with the tongue” Lena commented, having fun “and with the hands too.”

 

“I’m pretty good at massages,” Kara said, rather proudly “I have strong fingers.”

 

“I wasn’t talking about massaging.” Rao!

 

Kara gave up and threw herself next to the Luthor, hiding her face once again, this time, under the raven hair.

 

Childish laughter echoed through the room and all the women turned around, looking at Ruby as Lizzie lying down on a towel over the grass. The elder girl was throwing the little bears up and the little Luthor thought it was very fun to see them fall on her face, making her giggle. Her little legs were moving fast, strongly, getting firmer and firmer as she grew. She was already able to raise her head, lean on her arms under her body, recognize her family, and knew how to tell some voices apart. Now, almost five months old, the colors were more vivid, the sounds, the movement, and every discovery made her smile brightly. Her blue eyes glowed and her laughter was the main reason for the photos her mothers took of her daily. Although she was always surrounded by friends, Ruby was her favorite person. Like an older sister.

 

“Okay, let’s go to the main event,” Alex said and they turned back around.

 

“Food!” Kara exclaimed and soon blushed, noticing she had said it too loud “uh… er, I’m hungry?”

 

“You’re always hungry, dear,” Lena commented, smiling.

 

“You’re right,” she sighed.

 

“I always am” Lena winked

 

“Hum… are you two going to keep flirting in front of us or do you want us to give you some space?” Alex teased and they rolled their eyes.

 

“Are you that curious to see what Reign is capable of?” Lena shot back “someone is going to have to make a red room.”

 

“You know what… that’s a great idea!” Alex smirked and Kara groaned, she was at her limit.

 

“Later, babe” Sam kissed her girlfriend and smiled “now to the main event. What do I need to know and how do I deal with this problem?”

 

“Well, my part was just to help you find out the main problem, but fixing it’s on Alex,” Lena said and pointed at the agent.

 

“Me and Kara began to do some research, because apparently you and Reign are different people, with different personalities, but that live in the same body” Alex explained, “she was incubated for years until she found the perfect breach, which was opened by some kind of psychological trigger.”

 

“When I arrived here, Jeremiah told me that some parts of Krypton had fallen on Earth too, for example, the Fort Rozz” Kara continued, sighing at the memory of her planet and also of her adoptive father. He was almost a prohibited, forgotten subject “I took some time to try to find anything there and, well... I found these things” Kara pulled out a notebook from her purse and opened it. All the writing we’re in a foreign language, with drawings and symbols that none of them recognized “it’s kryptonian” Kara said and smiled weakly “Reign is a world killer, created much earlier than the book of Rao, the Sun God of my planet and she was created in a lab, by scientists who had a goal with it. Apparently, they created these powerful creatures, like a virus, and incubated them in baby’s bodies who would be sent here, for one day to wake up and complete their missions” Kara read with attention every word and tried not to lose focus “my father was involved in this, from what I’ve gathered. Maybe… Well, I think I’m right, but maybe she created Reign, or my mom did. It wasn’t very clear, but one of them is partly responsible for it and when Krypton entered its destructive process, someone put you in a pod, with Reign already inside your body, and then you were stuck in the phantom zone, landing here around 1989.

 

Sam took a deep breath and felt her girlfriend's hand intertwine to hers, giving her all the strength and courage she needed. Kara waited a while for her to process it and smiled as she got a positive nod from her sister-in-law.

 

“Your powers were supposed to have awakened as soon as the yellow sun’s radiation touched your metabolism, but somehow, you were stronger than Reign and that kept her quiet” Kara explained calmly “until the day she found the perfect breach.”

 

“And what would that be? After all, Sam always had a pretty ordinary life, complicated, sure, but ordinary.” Lena asked.

 

“Ruby” Alex answered and Sam arched a brow “do you remember the day we went to the park and there was an attack?” she nodded “at that moment, you simply lifted a full-on metal framework with your bare hands, it was at that moment that Reign found the breach she needed to unite herself to you. She helped you protect Ruby because she knew that was your weakness” it made sense, Lena thought to herself. She had read about mothers that developed astonishing strength once they saw their children were in danger. It was like a defense mechanism that they were only able to activate at a dim corner of their minds. It’s no coincidence scientists say human beings only use about 10% of their full mental capacity “Reign was born after the perfect mixture of feelings and the thing she was programmed for.”

 

And then, silence reigned. Strong and impetuous.

 

They couldn’t deny it was a lot of information to take in, a whole new weight for Samantha Arias’ tired shoulders. She remembered the nightmares, the visions she used to have, and, mostly, the images she used to draw on her room’s wall, as a teenager. However, if her adoptive mother knew the truth, why didn’t she ever tell her about her true origin? Where could her pod be? Who was her real family and what was their real history? Sam sighed, feeling completely lost, and got up, breathing in and out through the living room and looking for a way of dealing with that without breaking down. It was already hard to accept that she wasn’t human, but accepting that a new person was habiting the same body as her made Sam feel as if she was in a horror movie where an exorcist would try to kick the evil spirit out of the girl's sick body.

 

No, that was different. Reign wasn’t hurting here, or at least Sam thought she wasn’t. Reign seemed to understand her, to look for a way for the both of them to have freedom, however, to which point could she trust her? To which point could she give in and hope that this new person wouldn’t simply destroy everything and everyone. World killer, that was her description and, of course, she must have a mission, a task to be fulfilled. But what was it? Was her daughter going to be safe? Would Alex be able to deal with that mess? Also, would it be fair to the agent to continue that relationship now that Sam had all this new baggage?

 

God, there was too much to think about, to process and all Sam wanted was a few moments of peace.

 

“Sam?” Alex stopped next to her and she breathed in heavily as if she had run miles “are you okay?”

 

Lena and Kara looked at each other and turned to them again, waiting for an answer.

 

“I need you to be honest with me, no hiding, no watering down my actions” Sam’s voice was hard and serious. Alex felt frightened “did I hurt anyone?”

 

“No… well, in what way?” Alex dodged and Sam only sighed “you, or Reign, that is still weird… but she did kill some people, neither of them was innocent civilians, they were criminals.”

 

“Did I hurt any of you?” She kept going.

 

“You almost broke my nose but I kind of deserved it” Kara answered awkwardly “let’s just say your other version isn’t very fond of… hugging… or me, I don’t know...”

 

“Okay… right” Sam fixed her hair nervously. Lizzie was still laughing with Ruby outside and her heart was pained to think of her daughter, the danger it all could mean “I… I don’t know what to do…” she confessed and then Alex embraced her tight “I-I’m… scared.”

 

“I know, baby” Alex whispered in her ear “but we’re in this together. Always.”

 

“I don’t know if it is fair to drag you into this mess” and that broke Alex’s heart. No, not again “how long are you going to pick me up from strange places, help me come home, or what for me to return for a fight not even knowing if I’m going to survive? How can I take you with me when I don’t even know what I’m capable of… and what if I hurt you, or if… if Reign is a bad person and that…”

 

“Samantha, no” Alex held her hands firmly “I got into this with you and I’m only leaving with you too. I’d pick you up anywhere, for the rest of my life. I’ll never abandon you, even if that means changing our routine to deal with your persona better. I love you, get it? I love you too much to let you go like that, without a fight” she confessed, desperate “please, don’t rule me out like that…”

 

“I’m sorry… I just want…: she sighed, looking at her friend on the couch, holding each other's hands, and now she understood what they had to go through. Every day, Lena had to wait for Supergirl to return safe and sound, unsure if that was going to be her last day or if she would be on her feet to fight crime the morning after. It was a step in the dark, trusting there was going to be a solid floor under her feet to keep her from falling. “I love you too, Alex,” Sam said, at last, holding her even closer “I’m sorry…”

 

“We’re going to be okay, I promise” Alex swore, caressing the back of her neck and kissing her lips gently.

 

“I can help you with that,” Kara spoke and got up to hug her. “I know what it\s like to find out a lot in little time, but you’re not alone and I assure you Reign isn’t a bad person, not always…”

 

“Really?” Sam was still skeptical, but Kara nodded and hugged her again “even if I break your nose?”

 

“Even if you break my nose” they laughed “by the way, Alex is going to enjoy this, since her biggest frustration was not being able to hit me.”

 

“You’re screwed, little sister” Alex snickered “and be prepared, because I want a dignified competition between you two.”

 

“Alex, you’re impossible!” Lena exclaimed, laughing “don’t come up with those things.”

 

“You’re out of your mind if you think I'm going to miss that opportunity” she retorted “and be glad right because Lizzie is joining in once she’s old enough.”

 

“Hey! Leave my daughter out of it!” Kara intervened and immediately lost her smile.

 

“Mom!” Ruby interrupted, running inside “Lizzie is smelling bad and I’m not looking inside her diaper” she grimaced and then held the baby girl, holding her far from her nose.

 

“You think being the oldest cousin is easy, honey?” Sam squeezed her daughter’s cheek and Lena took the baby in her arms, making sure the diaper was actually dirty. And it was. Ruby ran back to the yard and lied on the grass’ towel, continuing her drawings on separate colorful pages.

 

Besides, Lizzie had her hair wet and her neck was reddened, showing how hot the weather actually was.

 

“Baby, what do you think of a shower?” Lena kissed her nose “you’re mommy’s little mess, aren’t you?”

 

Suddenly, a faded sound of police sirens echoed from afar and Alex and Lena observed the two kryptonian turn their faces to the noise. So that was how it was going to be. Kara was finally going to have company, a partner. Kara took off her glasses and handed them to Lena, smiling now that she could finally be herself around who she loved. Sam took off her shirt and the black suit was shown.

 

And her red eyes.

 

In a matter of seconds, pieces of clothing were left behind and the two human women sat down on the couch, a little lost with the new family dynamic. Lizzie then yelled in excitement, shaking her legs and laughing about something only she knew.

 

“Ah Ah, you stay, don’t go super baby on me” Lena held the girl high and smiled “it seems like it’s two of us and half a kryptonian.

 

“Do you want to create a club?” Alex suggested, snickering “support group for people in love with kryptonians” she mimicked a commercial voice.

 

“It depends, are you going to invite Lois?” Lena joked, though hiding a bit of truth underneath it.

 

“God, no!” she frowned “I said in love with kryptonians, not douchebags.”

 

Lizzie snorted and they joined her.

 

“She is definitely my niece” she tickled her little belly “come on” Alex called her with her finger and the girl practically threw herself to her, trading her mother to her aunt in a blink of an eye.

 

“Traitor” Lena sighed and handed her to the agent.

 

“So, you’re in love with my sister” that was a fact “when do you intend on acting on it?”

 

“When do you intend on giving me nephews?” Lena shot back and Alex was at a loss for words “thought so. Mind your business and I’ll mind mine.

 

“I hate you.”

 

“It’s mutual.”

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Lena looked at her daughter and laughed at herself for choosing those clothes. Those damn little clothes. Well, there was a reason behind it and it would certainly be worth it, also, the girl was completely irresistible, chewing on one of her toys and playing with Agnes’ fur, who was lying comfortably by her side. Lena enjoyed the moment and took some pictures, sending them straight to her photo gallery - which was flooded by photos of the little Luthor, in a variety of positions and faces. Lena smiled, realizing she truly was a mama bear, and placed the baby on her seat, both ready to leave home. She said goodbye to the dog, putting water and food on her pots and locking the closed door.

 

That was going to be a special day, or at least she expected it to be.

 

Lizzie was babbling non-stop and shaking her pacifier up and down, squirming on the baby seat. The driver followed the instructions Lena gave them and at times looked in the rearview, to watch the little noisy baby. It was always like that, no one was able to resist her. Lena was sure Lizzie had gotten that from her other mother, after all, no rational being could ever hate Kara Danvers. And how could they? Kara was a radiant ball of happiness, sympathy, and warmth, always trying to be the best for her family and friend, trying to help the world even when she wasn’t wearing a red cape. Lena was so proud of her that her heart could explode. And she was glad Kara was going to be the other role model for Lizzie growing up.

 

“James?” Lena called, hearing him answer on the other line.

 

“Lena Luthor,” he said back and she rolled her eyes.

 

“You know you can greet me without using my full name, Olsen,” she sighed.

 

“I know, but I like pissing you off sometimes,” he joked.

 

“You always piss me off, but let’s get to the point” he laughed loudly on the other side “Is everything set for today?”

 

“All as you asked, but I hope you can deal with a totally nervous woman because she has nothing to do today” he pointed out “she is getting on Snapper’s hair!”

 

“He doesn’t even have hair for that” Lena said dryly and James tried not to laugh, but she had a point “don’t worry, I know the person I’m dealing with well.”

 

“So come on and don’t forget that I need to talk to you later” he reminded her, still worried about the subject.

 

“I haven’t, I booked a time for you on my routine and we have an important meeting with Edge on Tuesday” they sighed. No one could stand that guy.

 

“Right, I’ll be waiting.”

 

A few minutes after the call, the two Luthor entered CatCo’s clear building, dodging some interns and desperate secretaries, like Eve, for example, and walked calmly to the room where the little plaque on the door read: Kara Danvers. No one had time to breathe on that company, Lena noticed it right away, and also couldn’t help but see it was a little disorganized. The posters were next to the desks, the forgotten coffee cups on the shelves, and piles of magazines stacked on chairs. It was like being inside a college student’s room and that was far from a good thing because, in order to have success, there must be discipline. But, the CEO of that company was James, not her, so she ignored it.

 

“Lena!” Kara jumped off her chair and smiled largely when she saw the little girl in her arms “Lizzie! Hey!” she reached out and the girl gladly went for them, smiling for the yeyu that she loved “what are you doing here? I mean… uh, not that I don’t appreciate the visit, I do and… actually, er, it was a surprise, but now a bad one! It’s not that, I… it’s a good surprise, very good, but I just…”

 

“Darling, breathe, okay?” Lena touched her shoulder softly and felt Kara relax under her hand. Lizzie stared at both mothers and tried to reach for her glasses “take your things, we’re going out.”

 

“What?” she changed Lizzie’s balance “Seedy, not the glasses!” Kara said seriously and the girl pouted as her eyes teared up “oh Rao! Okay!” Kara gave her the object, for now.

 

“Now you know how I feel,” Lena joked “do you remember you promised you’d do anything if I didn’t tell your secret?”

 

“Uh… yeah?” she wrinkled her nose, trying to manage the girl and the purse in her hands.

 

“You’re taking a day off today, and maybe some days more,” Lena said simply, not saying why she had chosen that of all things. She had made a deal with her mother, she needed to keep her part, and she would, for the common good.

 

“Days? But I… what about Supergirl?” Kara whispered, “J’onn is going to be…”

 

“J’onn is aware of this and agreed we need more time with Lizzie, she’s growing fast and we\re barely able to leave the house without calling the FBI for help” and just like that, Lena won the argument “ready?”

 

“Yeah, but I… I don’t get it” Kara sighed. Taking her glasses back and putting them on, giving Lizzie back to Lena. She still didn’t understand the reason for all that, Lena seemed so excited to go back to work and return to her normal life “weren’t you going to L-Corp today?”

 

“I already did and there’s nothing that needs me right now” they took the elevator and walked towards the car waiting for them “Kara if you don’t want to, you don’t have to come with me. I asked James to not give you any work today to get you free, but we can go back if you want to. I thought it would be good… for the three of us, as a family…”

 

“No! It’s not that, I just.... this is all very new, you know? Being with you not expecting the next bomb to go off at us, against our family… I… I think I forgot what it’s like to let the guard down and…” she sighed “I don’t…”

 

“It’s okay, we’re just going to have a good time and take Lizzie to the park, what do you say?” Kara nodded, happy, and intertwined their hands, letting the feeling warm her heart. 

 

 

The truth was that Kara also had a request to make, one that could end that moment, but also could help them take the next step. But Kara didn’t dare to. Every time she thought of doing it, of putting it out there, Lena would show up smiling, holding Lizzie in her arms and being the most amazing woman she had ever seen. How would she be able to ask something knowing those moments could end? Kara couldn’t risk it, she didn’t want to lose it all again, but her sister’s voice echoed in her head, repeating the words she uttered at the ice cream shop. If Kara was suffering, then what was the point? If Lena was going to continue to see her as only a friend from now on, then what was the reason for them to keep living in the same house, while Kara still loved her the same?

 

Kara sighed again and decided she would wait for the right time to bring the subject up.

 

“Do you think she’s going to like it?” They looked at each other. The park was crowded that afternoon, full of children running around, family sitting on colorful towels, and friends exercising. Summer was practically ending and the holidays would be over in a few days.

 

“Let’s give it a shot, if she cries we can leave.” Lizzie was sitting on the huge checkered towel, leaning on a pillow. Lena brought a bag full of food and toys for the girl since she couldn’t do much else other than that.

 

“Okay, grab the phone, I want a picture of this” they got up and walked towards the sandbox.

 

They knelt on the grass, taking the girl’s shoes off and putting her by the edge, waiting for some sort of reaction. The curious blue eyes analyzing every detail around her, some abrupt movements getting her by surprise and others making her smile. She was more focused on the swing that came and went, many children around it speaking loudly, laughing, and throwing sand in the air. The truth was that Lizzie had never seen sand or a crowd like that. It was all new and exciting and at the same time, completely intriguing. Lena and Kara observed their daughter. They were finally having family time and they never thought it was so needed.

 

“Put her slowly there” Lena oriented and so the little white feet touched the sand and sank on it.

 

“So?” she asked, looking at the baby. Lizzie moved her legs, looking down, not understanding what was under her feet.

 

“Look, baby” she grabbed a bunch of sand and let it fall slowly, caught her daughter’s attention “see! It's good!”

 

Lizzie continued to move her feet, while her little head processed that new feeling. It was an amazingly interesting discovery for her.

 

“Are you going to sit on the sand?” Kara asked curious and startled. Never in her life, she thought she would see Lena Luthor inside a sandbox with a bunch of agitated, sweaty kids.

 

“What’s the problem?” Lena arched her brow, always winning arguments with that simple motion “sit next to me, let’s see how she reacts now.”

 

“Okay” Kara sat down beside her and rolled her sleeves, thanking Rao her pants were strong enough for that adventure “now what?”

 

“Sit her on the sand, where’s her hat?” Kara took it out of her pocket and put it on her daughter “baby, look at mama!”

 

Kara placed the little kryptonian between her legs and Lena’s, observing the way she looked at the sand in confusion. Then, a huge pout appeared on her lips, her eyes shone with tears and she started crying, it was all too weird for her to ratiocinate so fast.

 

“No, no, baby girl” Lena took her out of the sand and cleaned her dirty clothes “it’s just sand, it won't hurt you.”

 

“I think she got the stubbornness from you” Kara teased, receiving a mortal glare in return “what kind of child doesn’t like sand?” she exclaimed, excited, moving her legs and throwing sand to the side.

 

“I’m starting to think my child here is you, not Lizzie” Lena shot back and Kara’s mouth fell open in a perfect O, pretending to be offended.

 

“Mommy! Look! A little baby!” a little girl, somewhere around two years old approached them. Her dress was dirty, her hands were full of sand and their nails were drenched in the dirt. Her brown hair fell messy over her eyes and she had a little yellow shovel in her pocket.

 

The mother approached them too, followed by the husband and they smiled politely.

 

“Say hi to the baby, kid” the dad encouraged.

 

“Hi, baby” the girl kneeled and caressed her face, her hair, and feet “can she talk? Why isn’t she with the other kids? Can she say hi?”

 

“Hey, Lizzie, look at the girl” Lena lifted her daughter and placed her next to the little girl “why don’t you ask her her name?”

 

“Her name is Lizzie?” The curious brown eyes looked at Lena’s green one and she liked the girl instantly.

 

“Yes and she doesn’t know how to talk yet” Kara answered, moving the hair from her eyes.

 

“Why don’t you tell them your name, honey?” This time, the mother encouraged her.

 

“My name is Mila, what’s yours?” she was still distracted, touching the baby’s cheeks and showing her the sandbox “look, I have a little shovel, do you want to see it? Do you want to play? Can she? Mommy, can she?” The adults laughed at her ability to make questions and Kara could say she understood her well.

 

“My name is Lena, this is Kara” she pointed to her, who smiled widely “do you want to sit next to her. Lizzie doesn’t know how to play properly yet.”

 

“I can teach her! Can I?” Lena nodded, agreeing.

 

Time flew past them and Lizzie got used to the feeling of sand sticking to her skin and thighs, getting distracted with Mila, who didn’t stop talking for a single second. Kara, of course, joined that conversation, helping the girls build a sandcastle, while Lena talked to the girl's parents, who were very polite and charming. They agreed to meet more times at the park and even invited the Luthor-Danvers family for Mila’s birthday party, two weeks from now. Apparently, Mila was euphoric about the party’s theme, always rambling about how much fun it was going to be. When she heard Lizzie was going to be there too, her scream of excitement was so loud, it contaminated everyone around her.

 

“Alex?” Kara picked up the ringing phone in her pocket. She and Lena had already gathered the things, the sun was setting on the horizon, painting the city gold. Mila left the park crying, wanting to spend more time with her new friend, even though the little baby couldn’t even speak yet “yeah, that’s alright. Okay, we’re coming.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Alex and Sam invited us for dinner and said they have a surprise for us?” Kara explained, confused “did you plan this?”

 

“I don’t even know what they’re talking about” she was honest. ALl possibilities came to her head but none seemed to make much sense “Let’s go home, give Lizzie a good shower and get ready.”

 

“She looks like a nugget,” Kara snorted. Lizzie had already fallen asleep on her lap and her clothes were the same color as the dirt “do you think she’ll wake up?” she questioned, yawning.”

 

“It looks like we have two tired babies,” Lena joked, seeing Kara’s cheeks flush “if she doesn’t we’ll let her sleep a little more and get ready first.”

 

“Thank you, for today” Kara murmured “I missed being with you two like this.”

 

“Me too” Lena intertwined their arms and they walked side by side, like the family they wanted to be, even though there was a lot to figure out before that.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Lizzie, for her mothers' despair, woke up as soon as they entered the penthouse and filled with impressive energy. They got ready, showered the baby, Lena fed her before leaving, and laughed out loud as Kara showed the outfit she had picked. Of course, she would choose the exact one she had bought at the mall a week ago. The driver took them straight to Alex’s place, an unusual choice since most dinners were at Sam's house due to Ruby, Lizzie, and Krypto’s mess. Still a bit confused, they went up the elevator and waited for someone to get to the door as they rang the bell. Kara was holding her daughter’s purse and could hear both heartbeats next to her, relieved to know she wasn’t the only one nervous about the surprise.

 

As the door opened, Kara’s heart jumped to her mouth and she couldn’t help but smile.

 

“Mom!” Eliza opened her arms and Kara threw herself in them, getting a tight, warm hug, one she could barely breathe in “how… when…?”

 

“First, let me say hit to Lena and my granddaughter,” Eliza said calmly “and then I’ll explain why I’m here.”

 

“What a wonderful surprise!” Lena hugged the older woman “look, Liz, grandma is here!”

 

“Oh Gosh, I missed you so much!” She carried the baby in her arms and they all went inside “you’ve grown so much, slow down a bit so I can enjoy you more” Lizzie placed her hands on her face and smiled, recognizing the grandmother.

 

“She hasn’t stopped talking about Lizzie for one second” Alex sighed “didn’t even pay attention to me.”

 

“Get used to it” Kara answered, putting the drinks on the table “I got one hug and now Lizzie is getting all the rest.”

 

“You two are unbelievable,” Sam commented, smiling.

 

“Even Ruby received more attention than me, can you believe mom brought her a gift from her last trip?” Alex rolled her eyes and Kara followed the cue “I’m not enjoying this grandchildren phase.”

 

“Baby, I’ll give you all the attention you want” Sam winked, making Lena snort.

 

“Okay, I changed my mind” Alex joined in the provoking, pulling Sam to a chaste kiss.

 

“I’m still attention-less,” Kara pouted and crossed her eyes. When Lena stared at her, her cheeks burnt with embarrassment.

 

“Lena, you really are a Luthor, why be so mean?” Sam teased.

 

“Kara, you know how I am” Lena got closer to her and pulled her for an embrace, kissing her reddened face “better?”

 

“Uhum” she smiled awkwardly “much better.”

 

“Ugh, it’s impossible to hate you two when you’re so damn cute” Alex frowned.

 

“Mom! Is dinner ready? I want to show grandm… er, Eliza? Ruby corrected herself quickly “my room…”

 

“Almost ready, honey,” Sam said, noticing the way her daughter almost said the g-word “do you think Eliza heard it?” she questioned them as Sam went back to the living room.

 

“If she had listened, she would’ve died of happiness, Sam” Kara pointed out “I’m pretty sure Eliza isn’t going to mind having another granddaughter. You two are family and it’s totally normal for her to call her that.

 

Alex breathed out, relieved, and looked at her sister with thankful eyes. Ruby was almost calling her mom, she would let it slip out sometimes in the middle of phrases or when they said goodbye in the morning as Alex left for work. At first, Alex didn’t know how to react and thought Sam wouldn’t see it as a good thing, her own daughter calling another woman mother, when in fact, she was just some sort of aunt. Then Sam sat down with Alex one night and talked it out, being fully honest on her feelings and thoughts. Ruby already considered Alex a mother, even if only by heart, and the thing she was worried about was something else. The CFO was scared of the relationship ending and she would have to leave, they would have to divert. She didn’t want her daughter to go through that pain and having Alex as the other mother would make it even more difficult.

 

They talked for hours and made it clear that they would fight and work every day to stay together forever.

 

“Of course I wouldn’t mind, by the way, you better start giving me more grandchildren” Eliza walked into the kitchen, Lizzie sitting on her arm, playing with one of her necklaces “ready for the surprise?”

 

They nodded and went to the table. Lizzie remained on her grandma’s lap, refusing to enter the baby chair and Ruby sat next to them, rambling on about school and notebooks she was going to buy next week. As they were about to start eating, Eliza requested some attention.

 

“Well, as you know, I’ve been doing travels recently, presenting an old project that I had gave up on” she explained “and, thanks to L-Corp, I got the investment I needed to go on, and so, I'm going to spend the next two years in National City to finish it.

 

“Wow, mom!” Alex exclaimed, “that’s amazing!”

 

“I didn’t know you were working with L-Corp,” Kara said, but feeling happy.

 

“Sam helped me out once she heard about the project and Lena encouraged me to go on” she looked at them, who smiled embarrassedly “so that’s why I’m here, to invite you to spend this weekend in Midvale with me before I move here.

 

“So that was the reason for my days off?” Kara turned to the Luthor and smiled.

 

“Surprise?” she smiled back.

 

“You’re my favorite, Lena!”

 

 

 

 

***

 

Friday morning, the Luthor-Danvers-Arias family was divided into two cars, full of bags and sweets for the trip. It wasn’t a long way, considering that Midvale was on California's coast, same as National City, but it would take some hours on the road. Also, it was Lizzie’s first road trip and also the first time Sam and Ruby would visit the house where Alex grew up in. There were a lot of memories there, pictures of a rebellious redhead, wearing dark clothes and a bored face. Kara’s drawings were also there, nailed to the walls and some in her room. Jeremiah’s memories were still over the shelves and just looking at them hurt in Eliza’s heart, because he was the love of her life, and she suddenly lost him, not quite sure if he was dead or alive.

 

Kara was a pile of excitement and anxiety, her heart torn between being happy she was visiting home and being sad for facing the memories from the last time she was there. It was in her childhood room that she and Lena took a huge step in their relationship and it was on that beach that they officially began their relationship. On one hand, the memories from that day made her smile, but on the other, it was wrecking to think they were far from getting that back. Kara then decided to focus on the fact that Lizzie was there now and would enjoy her grandma’s home like every child should.

 

Ruby was excited to know they were going traveling and that Eliza was going in the same car as her. Lena adjusted the baby seat, packing more than one bag for the little girl, and smiled calmly at the expectations for that family vacation. Lena was never one to worry about making memories, or caring about going on vacation, which actually rarely happened. In fact, she didn’t even know what family meant, not until she met Kara, not until all those wonderful people entered the walls they fought so hard to build for years. Lilian’s voice echoed in her mind. She didn’t tell her she was going to travel, but she had the perfect excuse for it if it was needed.

 

“Alex, you lead, we’ll follow you,” Lena said and Alex agreed with a nod.

 

The seatbelt was fastened, doors were closed and all were ready for a new adventure. As they reached the city’s exit, Kara, who was in the passenger's seat, distracted by the radio, felt her phone vibrate.

 

 

S: I’m deleting the group chat guys.

 

Sam removed Lena

 

L: What?

 

W: You learned being a snake with Alex?

 

A: What is your problem with me?

 

J: How are we so far?

 

K: What is going on??

 

Winn changed the group name to Parent Trap.

 

K: ?????

 

S: James, thanks for the days off!

 

A: Mom, you did really well at dinner!

 

E: Where do you think your fakeness skills come from?

 

A: MOM!

 

K: Can anyone PLEASE tell me what is going on?

 

K: Wait…

 

K: Was it all a lie?

 

E: Just partially…

 

S: Let’s just say I might’ve had a personal interest in your mother’s project…

 

J: Didn’t know Alex’s name was projected now.

 

W: Help!

 

A: Fuck off, James.

 

S: He isn’t wrong.

 

S: But I was talking about the actual project

 

K: So you set it up? The trip? All of it?

 

K: Does Lena know?

 

A: Of course not, she thinks she’s in control.

 

A: But she’s clueless.

 

W: Now you just have to get through part three of the plan.

 

K: Which would be?

 

S: You ask her out.

 

K: What????

 

E: When we get to Midvale, Lizzie is going to stay with me.

 

A: That’s just what you think, mom.

 

E: Alexandra, don’t even start.

 

K: I can’t believe you’re teaming up just to get me to ask Lena out on a date.

 

A: It was either that or tying you two together until you figure it out…

 

A: Sam didn’t let me do it….

 

J: I wonder why.

 

E: Okay, guys, focus!

 

E: Kara we’re just trying to help you.

 

K: Okay… but if it doesn’t work, I swear I never want to look at you again!

 

K: Ever!

 

K: Forever!

 

W: We get it.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Midvale by the end of the afternoon seemed to be straight out of a movie scene, for sure. The Danvers house was almost in front of the main beach, and it gave the windows upstairs a privileged view. It was decided that Alex and Sam would take Alex’s old bedroom, Lena and Kara would take the same room as the last time and Ruby would sleep with Eliza, much to her happiness and her mothers, who would certainly enjoy the alone time. That, of course, was noticed by the Luthor, who used that to provoke them until she tired herself. Eliza had prepared the house to receive her two granddaughters in, getting the pool cleaned, organizing the porch, and even buying some toys for the baby. Dinner was served with care and love, leaving the pool with a great smell of baked potatoes

 

Sam received an exclusive tour, getting to know every inch of the house and laughing until she cried at Alex’s baby pictures. Eliza wouldn’t miss the opportunity and said Kara shouldn’t laugh, because she also had thousands of pictures of her after she arrived there at thirteen. Ruby asked non-stop to go to the beach, insisting so much they decided to go there by the morning. The girl cheered in the Danvers style and Alex raised her hands, guilty as charged, she couldn’t deny that Ruby was her kid. They sat down in the living room to watch a movie while Ruby was focused on a puzzle and Lizzie drank a baby bottle on her grandma’s lap.

 

Alex turned to Sam, who turned to Kara, waiting for her to do something. The phone was vibrating continuously, the group chat bursting with curiosity. Winn would not leave her alone.

 

Kara scoffed and looked at Lena, who was sitting by her side, reading one of the articles she had brought to analyze.

 

“Uh… Lena?” she scoffed again, feeling her hands hurt from clenching them so hard. Sam poked her and whispered a ‘just do it.'

 

“Yeah?” For a few seconds, Kara got lost in her green eyes.

 

Useless lesbians, Alex thought to herself.

 

“Uh… er, do you want, hm… to go to the beach with me?” Kara asked quietly “I mean, not for a swim or anything, er… anyway, just to walk… yeah! Do you want to take a walk on the beach?”

 

“It’s a great idea, to clear the mind” Eliza joined the game and smiled tenderly to Lena “I’ll take Lizzie, she’s going to sleep soon.”

 

“Fine by me” Lena agreed “I’ll just put my things in the room.”

 

Alex tried not to jump off the couch and Sam desperately held onto her girlfriend, trying not to laugh at them. Kara was about to burst with anxiety and panic. She waited for Lena to come downstairs and they said goodbye, leaving their daughter with her grandmother for the first time. On one hand, they worried about it, they weren’t used to leaving her ‘alone', but on the other, they knew it would have at some point and it was good for Lizzie to be away from her mothers for a bit. They went down the main street and arrived at the shore, where some food places were open, with music playing and people talking loudly. Summer made the coast crowded and totally inviting for tourists. The melody walked alongside them, just like other couples and young people riding bikes.

 

Neither of them dares to say a thing, just accepting to hold hands.

 

The humid and slightly salted breeze caressed their hair, making the blonde join raven a couple of times and intertwine. Lena looked at the water hitting the coats, making white bubbles evident, and then returned to the beach. In her mind, she could only think of how she said yes to dating her best friend, in that same place, some time ago. Almost a year ago, she thought to herself. They breathed in and out and ignored the butterflies that were about to riot in her stomach every time she turned to the woman next to her, the one holding her hand so firmly.

 

“Come with me,” Kara said suddenly “take off your shoes.”

 

Lena obeyed and held her sandals with her free hand, while Kara guided her nearer the water, to the point where she felt it on her bare feet.

 

“Dance with me?” Kara asked. A feeling of deja vu took over her heart as Kara lifted an earphone to her.

 

“Of course” she smiled, anxious.

 

 

I am short of breath

Standing next to you

I am out of my depth

At this altitude

 

 

They moved slowly over the sand, naked feet being surrounded by the softness of the sand and kissed by the sea’s warm water. Kara held her by the waist, gluing their bodies in a new, but still familiar, intimacy. Lena’s dark hair began to stick to her forehead, the face slightly sweaty due to the humidity and the coastal heat, making her even more beautiful in Kara’s opinion. They continued the rhythmless dance, laughing when they stumbled on each other or when the water made their legs sink deeper into the sand, until the shin

 

 

The blue and green below

Is a masterpiece

But you are beautiful

Like I've never seen

 

At the last twirl, their faces got closer and Kara knew that was the moment to express her feelings. She needed to be brave.

 

She took a deep breath.

 

Counting to ten mentally.

 

“Lena” she looked up, seeming as fearful as she felt “will you go on a date with me?”

 

Kara felt Lena’s body tense up under hers. Surprised. Desperate.

 

Frightened by the sudden question.

 

“Lena, I-I’m…” Kara stepped back slightly, feeling the anxiety climb up her throat “I miss you and… I can’t do it anymore, I can’t hold your hand, sleep in the same bed, listen to you call me pet name when in my heart, I just want you back the same way as before, because… because… I…” she sighed, eyes tearing up “I can’t… can’t go on like this, I need to know what we’re heading for, I need to know if I can stay if you want me to stay and you can’t… you can’t make me stay if you don’t want me anymore…”

 

Lena looked at her and didn’t quite know what to say or what to feel.

 

“I need you to give me a reason to stay, and I don’t mean for Lizzie, because I’ll never walk away from her life, but… I mean, for us…”

 

And so she walked. Waited as you would wait for the air to come back to your lungs after a deep dive.

 

The blue met green and music continued to play in the earphones.

 

Go ahead and pull the pin

What if we could risk

Everything we have

And just let our walls cave in

 

Lena sighed and looked at the ocean, perhaps trying to get some courage from there, somewhat like the moon kissed those waters every night. Her hair moved with the warm wind and observed the woman in front of her the way her blue eyes glowed and her lips were pink, matching her cheeks when she was embarrassed. Lena stepped closer carefully, tracing the face of the woman that became so essential in her life so fast, becoming her best friend, her girlfriend, and the mother of her daughter. She missed her, there was no denying it. And it hurt like hell. Her thumb traced her forehead, going down to the side and arriving at her lips. Kara breathed out, letting the air she didn’t notice she was holding go.

 

“I love you, Kara” Lena whispered, and almost closed the distance between their lips “is that reason enough?”

 

Notes:

Don't forget to leave kudos and comments!

Chapter 28: I'd wait a million years for you

Notes:

this week has been a mess but ALAS here it is

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Say it again, please.”

Because it didn't feel real and Kara was still wondering if it was. If this was truly happening. Lena still looked at her as if her eyes could say those words in every possible human way. She said I love you in her stare, the way her green eyes changed shades as she put her feelings out. She said I love you every time she touched Kara’s arms slightly, or when she placed a hand on her lower back, making sure she was safe, even though the girl of steel was Kara and not the other way around. It happened when Kara laughed and that sound invaded her heart like a song, the most beautiful melody and she was sure Mozart was rolling over his grave with jealousy somewhere, aware he could never write something as beautiful as that. Because that laugh belonged to one person only.

And that person was Kara Danvers.

Right there were two women who had so much and still had a lot to lose. That was the problem. Having everything, conquering it all. It wasn’t Kara’s intention to make Lena repeat it, those words were hard to say out loud. It was like interfering in the universe's entropy, a small tinkle and it would all be over in a matter of seconds. However, Kara needed it and she had never noticed how much she needed it, to the point where it felt like oxygen now. All that time, all the months together, the dinners, the dates, the flowers, the hugs, and trust. Lena was her world and her biggest fear was to one day find out she had loved alone. It would feel like being sent all to the vast darkness of space again.

Alone.

Loving Lena was easy, like breathing. Like blinking. Involuntary.

On the other hand, Lena felt anxiety crawling up her throat, like a famished monster, thirsty for the next step into the uncertainty of her feelings. She didn’t doubt what she felt, in fact, it was the lack of doubt that scared her. She had the right opportunity, the only one, to make Kara leave. Forever. Lilian would be proud, Lizzie would grow up healthy, away from dangers and she would leave the kryptonian alone, at last. But she wasn't capable of breaking Kara’s heart like that, so Lena sank her plan down her soul and pretended it never existed. Though she knew it was there, kept inside a tiny box inside her heart. One day, I’m going to pay the price for it, she thought to herself.

The price of love is expensive, especially for a Luthor. No money in the world could pay that debt. And that terrified Lena.

She looked at the waves again, coming and going over the sand, kissing her feet and covering it with brownish, wet grains. Why was it so hard to have a simple life, one where her daughter could be happy, a real child, without the weight, the incredibly heavy burden that she would carry for life? It would be ironic if it weren’t tragic, but that was their story too. A four-year-old girl, adopted, terrified by her new family, who loved a boy that lost himself to darkness and greed, who begged and waited for approval of a woman that never wanted to be her mother, and who saw her whole world drown, in a matter of minutes, and still didn’t scream. A reactionless blonde girl, still not comprehending what had happened, as the image of her parents waving from far away and then a red explosion hit them from being replayed in her mind. And then darkness. The void. The silence. And then, a new chance, a new family, and a new way of seeing the world.

That was their story. The story of how two broken worlds found a way to rebuild themselves. The story of two broken-hearted girls who were still able to love in a way they had never been loved. Not until now.

And so Lena stared at the insurmountable blue in front of her, and she wasn’t talking about the horizon. In fact, it was ironic to think how the blue sky reflected the greenish ocean as if they could love each other from that interaction. Some said it was the ocean that reflected the sky, while others would affirm surely it was the sky that allowed the ocean to show its colors. Because green was the perfect mix of blue and yellow. But for Lena, it was just the fact they allowed each other to express themselves in them. The sky would never be able to see its potential if it wasn’t for the oceanic mirror and the ocean would never be able to prove its value if it wasn’t from the grand blue horizon over it.

And that was how Lena saw her relationship with Kara. They needed each other, even though they were enough alone. Love wasn’t about two halves, because no one would be able to survive with half a lung, half a heart, or half a body. It was ridiculous to think it had something to do with survival, when in fact, it should be about coexistence.

First, you have to be whole, to completely accept yourself, because no one will be able to love you if you don’t love yourself first. It’s almost a law of physics if Newton or Einstein were philosophies instead of physics. But Lena always believed there was a lot of philosophy in science, they walked together. Without the theories, hypothesis, thesis, and thinking beyond time, there wouldn't be curiosity to figure out more about the world.

And right now, her world was a smiley blonde, who blushes easily when complimented and went on rambling when nervous.

The fear was still there, around both of them. They felt you, they could see it. However, fear is only strong when you give it the power and let it think it has control. And so, they chose to ignore the fear. Lena touched her lips again with her thumbs, her lungs almost aching from the need to kiss her. Of breathing the air from her lungs and making her hers forever. There were still many truths to be told, many steps to be taken, after all, they couldn’t just forget the past, the way they had hurt each other and still felt sore from it. An act of trust.

“But I didn’t say anything” Lena played off, her voice coming out in a childish whisper.

Kara pouted and her face went red, making Lena smile, charmed, cursing herself for loving a person that much.

How could she be so weak?

“I love you” she repeated, firmer “I love the way you look like a needy child and still seem so strong. I love the way you look at our daughter and sing her to sleep. I love the way you always write the truth in your articles, never giving up the fight to say your thoughts and do what’s right. I love you because I saw the best in me through your eyes, what I wanted to be and can be by your side. I love the family you gave me, the way you take care of me even when it’s painful just to be around me, even if I’d never told you how much I loved you” she sighed, losing breath for a few seconds “I love you because I’m scared of facing a world where you’re not in.”

She hesitated for a moment, losing focus in that clear blue.

“I love you, Kara Zor-El” she kissed the corner of her lips, taking a little too long “every piece of you, even if it’s broken.”

“I missed you so much,” Kara breathed out, relieved.

“But I’m right here” Lena joked again, making her laugh weakly “I do want to go on a date with you.”

Their lips almost met, but Kara placed a finger between them, stopping any action from taking place.

“No, I want to do this right” she explained “I want to pick you up in the penthouse, bring you flowers, complement your outfit even if I stutter so much you won’t understand, hold your hand and pull your chair out at the restaurant. I want to walk you home and know we’ll go on a second date.” Lena arched a brow.

“Are you sure?” and her certainty vanished.

“Damn it… no” Kara confessed and closed the gap.

The kiss was soft, calm, trying to recognize the old feeling. Kara held her face carefully, taking her lips deeper. Lena whimpered in anticipation, grabbing the back of her neck and standing on her toes to reach her height. The warm hands trailed down her waist, stopping at the lower point and holding it tighter, taking her off her feet and levitating them into the air. They laughed awkwardly and held each other firmly, scared that moment would end and turn out to be just a dream. A sweet, painful dream. But it wasn’t, the kiss was real, the touching was even more real. Lena looked at her for a few seconds, taking in the details she swore to never forget. And kissed her again, and again, and again, how many times it was necessary.

And then, her tongue contoured the thin line of her lips, asking for permission she knew she had. Kara groaned as she felt her taste again and her heart skipped a beat, losing focus and rhythm as she gave in to the feeling that was consuming her soul slowly for a long time. That was when she ran out of air and they stepped back to breathe. The familiar smell of salt was stuck in the humid air, leaving a thin layer of sweat in her skin and making the dark hair glue to her temples. And at that moment, Kara swore that Lena Luthor was, in fact, the most beautiful woman in the world.

“I thought you were going to play Romeo” Lena teased, her voice coming out more hoarsely than expected.

“And let us both die at the end? Psst,” Kara laughed “I’d never.”

“So who are we then?” Lena intertwined their fingers and they continued to walk by the beach.

“Hm… Jack and Rose?” she frowned.

“Jack dies at the end” Lena pointed out and Kara groaned.

“Carl and Ellie?”

“Ellies dies too, why are we so tragic?” she smiled.

“So… Vada and Tom… oh shit, he dies too” she sighed “I quit!”

“How about Vivian and Edward from Pretty Woman?” they reached the street again and begin to make their way back home.

“I’d say we’re more Morticia and Gomez” Kara smirked, “you’re so…”

“Sarcastic and dark like her? Is that why we’re similar to them?” she pretended to be offended when in reality, that didn’t matter at all.

“I was going to say that crazy about you just as much as Gomez is crazy about Morticia” and Lena couldn’t help but blush.

“Okay, you’re the one who’ll tell Alex we’re the Addams Family” they laughed again.

“She was a moodier version of Wednesday in High School, wanting to punch all the boys” Kara joked.

 

***

 

Lizzie did not stay asleep, waking up as soon as Kara and Lena entered the room on that humid, hot night in Midvale. They intended to take a shower, refresh themselves before going to bed, spend more time together, and put on comfortable soft clothes. But no. Before Lena could reach for the towel and tell Kara to keep an eye on Lizzie while she was in the shower, the loud crying echoed through the room, the agitation getting the baby even more nervous. Kara took her out of the crib and placed her over her chest, whispering soft words of love, trying to, perhaps, make her stop crying for no apparent reason. They tried, they really tried to take care of her, each of them at a time, but any time Lena walked towards the bathroom, Lizzie would increase the crying again.

“Hey, baby girl, there’s no need to cry” Lena took her from Kara’s arms and sat on the floor “mommy and yeyu are here, don’t cry.”

“This is so frustrating” Kara sighed “why is she like this?”

“I don’t know” she tried to feed her but Lizzie refused, crying even louder, small hot tears streaming down her pale cheeks.

Lizzie squirmed, kicking up, not taking anything her mothers offered. Eliza knocked on the door a few minutes later, asking if everything was okay and if they needed help. They denied the helo and told her to go back to sleep, they would call her if the trouble turned out bigger. All possible measures were taken to the situation. They checked her temperature, comparing it to her normal one, and there wasn’t any change. They tried to see if it was pain, hunger, any bother about the heat, or maybe an insect bite. Nothing. Lizzie had an unknown issue that night and was about to drive her mothers insane.

She went from arm to arm more than usual, cried for longer than normal and all that her mothers tried was useless.

“Lizzie, please, you have to calm down,” Lena asked practically begging, the panic rising on her throat.

“Do you want to try bathing her? Any medicine?" Kara suggested. It was past midnight.

“She is too agitated” Lena sighed, trying to give her milk again. The tired sobs came out non-stop from the baby’s lungs and her little face was much redder “shhh, we’re here, baby” she kissed her head, uselessly trying to find a solution.

“Give me her a little” Kara reached out and soon the girl was in her arms.

She whispered a few words in kryptonian, some that Lena had already picked up on. It meant something like ‘it’s okay’ and ‘you need to calm down, help us’. However, it was a lost cause. Lena grabbed the pacifier and handed it to Kara, hoping that would be their savior. As Kara tried to put the object on her daughter’s mouth, she pulled on the little chain used to stick it to her clothes and the strength was so big that as soon as she closed her little hand around it, it turned to dust, falling onto the carpet, making it all seem even more scary and despairing. The crying went on, sometimes diminishing, due to her tiredness and then rising back up again, because Lizzie was stubborn like a Danvers and persistent like a Luthor.

Lena tried to take a deep breath and not think that her daughter might have developed a new power.

It couldn’t be.

Kara sighed nervously and closed her eyes for a moment, thinking precisely about how her daughter was exactly like her.

“You don’t think that…” Lena couldn’t finish the sentence, exhausted from fighting against the unknown.

“It looks like it… I…” she sighed and signed for Lena to sit down next to her, ignoring the agitated little arms in her lap “I think I know what’s going on” Kara turned to her, holding her hand.

“I just want her to stop crying” Lena murmured, upset, cleaning the wet reddened face.

“My powers were always linked to an emotion of mine, some kind of feeling, like anger or fear” Kara explained and Lena remembered when her tender blue eyes glowed in fluorescent red, burning her eyelids and making her hide “Lizzie seems… angry, I don’t know, bothered by something and I think… I think it isn’t physical, but…”

“Something that we did” she nodded “she was always very sensitive” Lena smiled, knowing it was like that since the pregnancy.

“She didn’t like that we went out without her” Kara said and it all made sense “she’s upset…”

“Oh, Lizzie” Lena leaned her head on Kara’s shoulder and caressed her daughter's dark thin hair, while the baby fought against sleepiness, crying and squirming “we love you so much, Seedy.”

“I have an idea,” Kara suggested, hopeful.

“Anything for her,” Lena agreed quickly.

In a matter of minutes, they got changed, ignoring the need to take a refreshing shower and clean the remains of sand in their feet. Lizzie demanded attention at the moment and they were going to oblige. Kara laid down, putting her daughter on the mattress, but still keeping her in her arms and she got even more irritated. Lena lied on the other side, letting her daughter get in the middle of them. And so, Lizzie was able to hear both her mothers’ heartbeats, as they embraced her protectively and reassured her she wasn’t alone, they weren’t leaving. Gradually, she quit fighting and changed positions, looking for Lena’s breast, as a sign of truce, finally.

Lena pulled her shirt up and soon the girl grabbed her nipple, sobbing quietly and sighing. The crying stopped. Blue met green through the darkness, relieved and in love. They got comfortable in that embrace and it didn’t take long for them to fall asleep, knowing Lizzie was the slyest baby alive

And they didn’t mind it.

 

***

 

Sam woke up too early for a vacation day, but she was more than used to it. She left the room on her tiptoes, trying not to awake Alex, who was deep asleep, hugging a pillow. She smiled, charmed, and kissed her cheek softly before leaving. She also tried to keep quiet to not wake to the couple sleeping next door, due to the trouble Lizzie gave them last night. Babies weren’t easy and they never will be. Being a mother was like sailing in unknown waters, like catching a plane not knowing where it would land and always have a last-minute surprise. To panic, cry, and get scared was useless and no help. The best thing to do at those times was to take a deep breath.

Sam went downstairs quietly and heard two familiar voices in the kitchen. Her heart almost melted by the sight, Ruby sitting on the counter, wearing a flowery dress, the swimsuit visible underneath it, and a funny hat on her head, just like the one Eliza was wearing.

The girl was laughing about something the woman said, while she mixed the milk on the pan. It was a good feeling and a new and… different one? Sam wasn’t sure. Ever since she found out she was pregnant and her mother kicked her out, Sam swore to herself she would never let anyone make her feel as miserable as her mother did. It was frightening to be alone, so young and so lost. She had nowhere to go, no one to run to or ask for help. She didn’t have anyone besides her mother, the person who adopted her and promised to love her. One of the main reasons Sam promised herself she would never see her again and Ruby wouldn’t even meet that part of her family. However, now that Reign had shown her power and taken a big part of her life, going back home was necessary.

Sam needed answers and only Patricia knew all of them.

She also had not discussed that with Alex, but she could see the questions in her eyes every night, like she wanted to say something more, but lacked courage, And so, Sam chose silence, because she wasn’t ready to dig up the past yet and look at wounds she thought were healed.

She made their way to them and they greeted her with happy faces.

“Good morning mom!” Ruby exclaimed and jumped off the counter to hug her “grandma is teaching me how to make porridge, do you want to help?”

Sam couldn’t help but notice the way her daughter's face lit up as she said the word, grandma.

“Good morning, dear” Eliza smiled “there’s coffee on the table, make yourself at home.

“Thank you,” Sam said a little awkwardly. Eliza was the most important person for Alex and she didn’t want to make a bad impression on her.

“Did you sleep well?” Eliza asked as if it was usual as if they were used to doing that every day “I hope you like apple pie.”

“Well, Lizzie put on quite a show but got some sleep after she calmed down” Ruby wrinkled her brows, confused “not all of us have the luck of heavy sleep like you, Rubs.”

“I’m sure she’s just as sly as Kara” Eliza commented, “there were nights she would go into my room and slither under my pillow, getting between me and my husband, asking me to hold her tight.”

“Poor Lena,” they laughed.

“Grandma, is it ready?” Ruby pointed to the pan and Eliza tasted the porridge again “is it good? Did it make it right?”

“It’s the best porridge I’ve ever tasted” the girl jumped up and couldn’t wait for everyone to taste it too “why don’t you go watch some tv while I talk to your mom?”

“Okay!” Ruby ran back to the living room and soon cartoonish sounds echoed around.

“You’re so wonderful to her, I can’t thank you enough, Eliza” Sam confessed, sincere, unsure of what words to use “not everyone would be this patient or would accept being with me because of that responsibility, but Alex…”

“Alex loves you and I can see you love her very much too,” Eliza said tenderly, sitting next to her on the table “there’s no need to thank me, in fact, I’m the one who has to say how amazing you two are for my daughter.”

“Alex means a lot to me” Sam blushed “I hope I get to be with her forever if she wants me…”

“Is that your intention” she nodded “it’s a big step, to propose, but know that you have my full support” she winked, making her smile.

“I just don’t know if… would she say yes? I mean… Maggie… er, well, you know what happened and I don’t want to cause any more pain” Eliza understood where she was coming from and it did make sense “I’m not saying we have the same issues, because we don’t, but it still feels too early.”

“There is no right time for it, to be honest” and she was right.

“Don’t you think it’s rushed or that… Alex would be scared?” Sam wrinkled her brows, her heartbeat speeding.

“I think you have to do what you believe it's right in your heart” Eliza pushed the hair from her face, placing it behind her ear and caressed her face, like a loving mother would “I’m sure what happened to Alex and Maggie was hard, devastating, even, but I see no reason to get caught up in that. Alex loved you and that’s what matters. No matter what you think, talking to her is the first step” they smiled “I think she’d say yes right away. Alex may seem like this though, angry person, but deep, deep down, she’s a hopeless romantic that only wants somebody to understand her.”

“Thank you, Eliza,” Sam said, almost out of breath. She was going to ask Alex to marry her, no now, but soon.

Or maybe she had an even better idea in mind.

“Good morning” Lena walked into the kitchen and smiled, sleepy “am I interrupting something?”

“Of course not, dear” Eliza got up to pour the Luthor some coffee. “How is Lizzie?”

“Sleeping like a baby” she ironized and Sam laughed.

“And Kara?”

“Sleeping with the baby” this time, her eyes glowed in a different shade “they sleep in the same position, by the way,” Lena commented lovingly, not really caring if they cared about that detail.

When Lena left the room, she left her heart in there. Kara was sleeping on her stomach, hands under her face and legs spread over the bed. Lizzie, as amazing as it sounds, had her little hands under her cheeks and legs across the sheet. It was impossible not to smile and stop to appreciate that precious, unique scene. It physically hurt her to leave the room, but her body was aching for a cup of coffee, a little space, and time to process the events of last night. She couldn’t deny, a mix of feelings and fears was invading her heart and it was becoming a little too much for her little confused self. Maybe she was worried and really scared. The consequences of her actions could be many and too catastrophic. She wanted to hope for the best, but her mind sabotaged that strategy every time.

“Or maybe Kara is the baby” Sam shot back and Lena couldn’t help a smile “how did it go last night?”

“I’ll leave you two to it and will go try to understand the cartoon Ruby is watching,” Eliza said, leaving the two women more comfortable to talk.

Lena sat down next to her, holding the cup of coffee and taking a deep breath, thinking of how she was going to tell it to her best friend.

“It was… amazing” she blushed a little, remembering the kiss, the feeling of warm hands in her waist, and the way Kara’s heart was beating the same melody as hers “she was really brave, being honest…. because I wouldn’t have the same courage, not even in a million years” she admitted.

“Yeah, we know, that’s why we removed you from the group chat” Sam winked and Lena arched a brow

“You what?” she asked, confused “I thought you were deleting the group chat!”

“Well, maybe that was a lie and maybe, just maybe, we were playing cupid,” Sam confessed, shamelessly.

“You are impressive!” Lena sighed, offended but not really. Those were her friends. More than that, they were her family “since, maybe, Winn is probably expecting something grand from a walk on the beach, tell him I finally said it.”

Sam spat out the coffee and stared at her, impressed, her eyes widened, unable to fully process that information.

“You… wait… what?” she shook her head and blinked thrice “can you repeat it?”

“I finally told her I love her, though I’m kind of… panicking right now” Lena looked down in the dark drink on the porcelain cup and saw herself reflected on the. Sam reached for her hand and held it kindly “I don’t know if I did the right thing, I mean… it’s the truth, I love her, but what if…”

“Don’t get caught up in that, Lena” Sam advised calmly, understanding what her friend was going through “you did what your heart said and there’s nothing wrong with that. Remember what I told you and try to live in the present. Kara is here, your daughter and you, we’re on vacation together and now you two get to enjoy that with that whole family. Don’t you feel happy?”

“God, Sam, of course, I do!” Lena smiled, unable to lie to herself.

She had never felt as happy as now.

“Okay, then stop coming up with a million reasons to feel guilt and enjoy what have now, okay?” she nodded and they hugged for a brief moment.

Interrupted by a sleepy blonde, wearing pajamas with little rockets and stars and messy hair falling on her shoulders, she showed up by the kitchen door. Kara wasn’t wearing her glasses, eyes still a little closed and sleepy, her yellow socks matched the childish outfit just right. But that wasn’t the funny thing, the punchline was that Lizzie’s pajamas also had the same rockets and stars, wearing the same yellow socks, the dark hair, slightly wavy, also completely messy. The girl was lying in her mother’s arms, a pacifier on her lips and little hands holding her shirt tight.

Right behind her, a redhead wearing a huge baggy shirt and underwear, hair undone, Alex stared at them tiredly, looking very moody.

Sam and Lena couldn’t believe they were in love with children.

“What did the Danvers do to us?” Sam turned to Lena, who threw her hands in the air, answerless “I can’t believe they have matching pajamas.”

“Morning” Kara murmured, fixing her eyes and yawning again “I’m hungry” Lizzie raised her head and looked at her other mother “and so is Seedy.”

“When are either of you not hungry?” Lena asked rhetorically and went to hold her daughter, kissing the baby’s sleepy cheek.

“Good morning, babe” Alex whispered, feeling her girlfriend’s arms around her waist “do you want to match pajamas too?” she asked, teasing.

“No, I prefer you without any” Sam smirked and Kara groaned in disbelief.

“You just woke up,” she complained, “I can’t even spell my name when I wake up.”

“Kara, you can hardly spell anything” Alex provoked and they went to the table.

“Hey! Not true!” Kara gasped “I can spell hard words when I focus.”

“You never focus” Alex retorted again and her sister pouted “and there’s no use in putting on that face, I’m not your girlfriend.”

“Glad to know you’re not a competition and that you disapprove of incest” Lena joked, turning to Alex.

“Can we just sit and eat?” Kara looked at her daughter, who was already feeling and felt jealous because all she wanted was to have breakfast at peace. Why was that so hard?

“Good morning, mom! I-I’m… er…” Ruby stopped for a moment before hugging Alex, trying to overlook what she had called her, but her reddened cheeks betrayed her coolness.

“Morning, troublemaker” Alex dismissed the tension, like she always did, and received a grateful smile in return “it’s okay, is that how you want to call me?”

Ruby hesitated and looked for her mother’s approval, she didn’t want to cause any problems or cross any lines. They had already talked previously about that subject. Sam told her to take things easy, to hold her tongue for now, because considering another person a mother was something big, and not all people took it well or wanted that responsibility. But the girl didn’t get it, she just wanted to call Alex the way it felt right and it seemed unfair not to consider her an essential part of her family. However, Ruby obeyed and waited for her mother's approval, until she changed her mind to a new piece of advice, one that was much easier to accept. Sam also talked to her girlfriend, asking if that was what she really wanted because Ruby wasn’t a doll, she wasn’t a toy.

She was a child, a human being with feelings and a heart that could also break. Alex asked for some time to think, to weigh the pros and cons of that new situation. But as it turns out, her heart didn’t find any cons, after all, her biggest dream was to become a mother and have someone on her side that shared the same feeling.

And now she had it. And it felt surreal.

Sam nodded and winked at the girl, answering whatever doubts she had.

“Yeah… can I?” Ruby got a little shy, looking at the floor and cheeks turning red.

“Of course you can” and at that moment, everyone knew a new life had just begun “but let me go off this hug because I can’t breathe!”

“Oh, sorry” she smirked. “Did you try the porridge I made? Did you like it? Are you taking me to the beach?”

“Christ, Rubs, have you been spending time with Kara?” her sister gasped again and rolled her eyes “I’ll try it and tell you what I thought.”

“Look who’s up, if it isn’t my little girl!” Eliza walked into the kitchen and smiled at one specific person.

“Good morning, mom!” Kara answered excitedly, thinking the greeting was directed towards her.

However, disappointment was coming

“Kara, I don’t think she’s talking to you” Sam pointed out, trying not to laugh at her third gasp and pout.

“Don’t worry, baby” Lena kissed her lips quickly “you can be my little girl if you want to” and that wasn’t said naively.

“Well, well, well, someone woke up starving,” Alex teased “and I’m not talking about food.”

“It depends on what you consider edible,” Sam answered, smirking at her girlfriend.

“Maybe a pretty, handsome redhead…”

“Alex!” Kara grimaced “ugh, you’re so… I don’t even know that word!”

“Says the person who knows how to spell” she shot back. The Danvers sisters truly were impossibly stubborn.

“Mom!” Eliza snorted at her youngest daughter and kissed her hair “she annoys me so much!”

“It’s because you love each other” the mother pointed out “Lena, finish eating, you barely eat. I’m going to shower her and get her ready for our stroll” Eliza held her granddaughter.

“Her swimsuit it’s in the smaller bag and clothes in the unicorn bag” Lena turned to Kara, who blushed hard, guilty as charged “just be careful, because apparently… she developed another power, or is developing…”

Alex arched a brow and swallowed the cake quickly.

“What?”

“Last night we had a little demonstration and it was pretty scary” Lena explained, “we don’t know if she’s strong enough to hurt anyone, but it’s best to be careful.”

“Okay, as soon as we’re ready, we’ll meet on the doorstep” they all nodded “do you want to help out, Ruby?”

“Yeah!”

 

***

 

The sun rose up high, shining bright on the blue and white immensity of the beach, giving a hand to those who wanted to sunbathe a little before summer was over. The Luthor-Danvers-Arias family found the perfect spot, putting up the chairs, cooler boxes, and all the bags all in the same area. Ruby didn’t stop talking for a moment, moving up and down, she couldn’t wait to go on the ocean and swim until her muscles hurt. Sam knew her daughter would arrive home very tired and that would be a nice thing for Eliza since she was the one sharing a bed with the new granddaughter. Lena brought too many things, worried about what Lizzie would feel about the new experience. Sure, the baby had already met sand a few days ago in the park, but she was unpredictable and, after last night, she was actually scared of leaving her alone for over half an hour.

Kara carried most of the bags to the spot where Alex put up the sunshades, the folding table, and the towels in the sand. Alex wasn’t the biggest fan of sunbathing, body exposed to the heat, and didn’t like getting tan, but her girlfriend made it very clear that she wasn’t going back to National City without a good memory from that trip marked on her skin. Alex suggested, of course, that other types of marks could be done, and they agreed she had time and space for those too. Lena would laugh at them, not quite believing how good Sam and Alex were to each other, feeling happy and relieved that two people she loved were writing such a beautiful story together.

As soon as they finished setting everything up, Alex and Sam undressed to their swimsuits and accompanied Ruby to the water, laughing at her barely contained excitement. Eliza excused herself to greet some old friends at the restaurant and promised she would bring ice cream afterward. Lena put the plastic pool with little fish and mermaids drawn in it, while Kara held Lizzie and watched as she looked at the waves as if it was the most amazing thing in the world. Also, seeing her daughter, all healthy, the little flab on her thighs and arms exposed as she wore a pink swimsuit over her diaper, was by far the best sight in the world.

Not that seeing Lena in a bikini also wasn’t, but she hadn’t even taken off her regatta and shorts. Which was weird, because she was never shy when it came to Kara, they lived together and shared plenty of embarrassing moments every day. Kara sighed, wondering why, as Lizzie began to babble and move her legs up and down.

“Okay, all good, ready for sunscreen?” Lena said smiling, squeezing the girl’s cheek “can you grab it in the bag for me?”

“Sure?” Kara stood up and they sat down on a lounger, Lizzie placed it on Lena’s legs and Kara behind them “do you want me to put it on you too? Your shoulders are reddening already…”

And then, Kara heard Lena’s heartbeat race, as it also showcased sadness. She was contradicting desires and hesitations. Kara could easily tell there was something else worrying her.

“Hum… er, there’s no need” Lena answered, avoiding looking at her “I’ll figure it out later” she continued to spread the white cream on the baby, as Lizzie complained a little about the funny feeling on her skin but was soon distracted by the rubber fish by her feet.

“Lena, look at me” Kara placed both hands on her shoulder, she turned around slowly.

The heavy sigh flooded the minimal space between them and they stared at each other for long seconds. Seconds that felt like hours. Lizzie remained sitting on her mother’s leg, throwing the little fish up and down and taking the clapper afterward.

“What’s worrying you? You know I can tell when something’s wrong, there’s no use in lying” she had a fair point “is it about… yesterday?”

“Maybe?” Lena answered, unsure.

“You… you regretted it and… uh, be-because…” the green eyes noticed the fear and insecurity, and then Lena searched for Kara’s hands, holding them firmly between hers.

“No, of course not, it’s just that…” Lena sighed, moving her daughter in a way she could keep an eye on her and talk to Kara “I thought… I thought I was going to feel better about my body, you know… after the pregnancy, but it isn’t the same anymore. I don’t… feel attractive with all these marks and how can I be in just a bikini like this?” she raised her shirt and showed the stretch marks that cut her lower stomach

“Oh Lena” Kara closed the gap between them and let herself feel her lips, gently stroking her cheeks “you’re so silly, did you know that?” she looked down, blushing.

“I know…”

“You’re literally the most beautiful woman in the world and even if your whole body was covered in those I’d still find you so attractive,” Kara said softly “when I look at these marks, I feel proud of the person you became, of how much you gave for our daughter, how much you fought for her to be here today, healthy and happy… and a bit spoiled” they laughed.

“You don’t need to comfort me, I know stretch marks aren’t pretty” her voice still sounded worried, somewhat anguished, and painful “there are so many prettier women out there, Kara…”

“Are there?” Kara arched a brow “because I’ve never seen any” she joked but Kara was brutally honest. The beach was full of attractive people, pretty men, and women.

But Kara only had eyes for the one in front of her.

“Silly” Lena leaned in for a kiss now, moving together slowly and then calmly drifting apart “I love you.”

“I love you too” she gave her a quick peck on the nose and then Lizzie yelled in excitement, throwing the last toy on the sand “now let me put sunscreen on you so I have an excuse to touch your body, c’mon” Kara clapped and Lena snorted, pulling her shirt up and leaving it folded over her bag.

Once Kara stopped to notice the changes in her body, her cheeks burnt and a wave of heat hit her system. And there was nothing to do with California’s hot summer. Rao! Her boobs were a lot bigger than what she remembered, fitting perfectly the deep blue bikini and making Kara’s mouth water with need. Kara asked her to tie her hair up, enjoying the vision of the pale skin she was about to touch. Kara took her sweet time, a lot more time than necessary, spreading the sunscreen, coming and going in spots that had already been covered. Lena wasn’t going to complain and was definitely not going to deny the feeling accumulating in her center, as it got more and more hard to focus.

God, she was going to combust any time now.

“You know you don’t need an excuse to touch me, right?” Lena teased, thriving off the way Kara was surprised and flushed “do you want me to turn?”

“Uh… er, y-yes…” she swallowed dry. Kara was going to put sunscreen on her bust and then die. She was sure of it.

“Kara, my eyes are up here” her heart was beating so loud she was sure anyone, gifted with super hearing or not, could hear it.

“Yeah… but they’re down here” Kara replied shamelessly, but her face burned bright red. Not so shamelessly as she thought “uh… I… I mean…”

“Now I know where Lizzie gets it from” Lena whispered maliciously, Kara promptly understanding the undertone.

“Oh, Rao, Lena!” she scoffed and laughed it off “I’m done.”

“Thank you” Lena looked at her covered skin and smiled “can you fill the pool?”

“Sure!” Kara got up quickly, taking Rao for the fresh breeze that hit her body because she was in desperate need of a cold shower. Or anything cold.

“I brought ice cream!” Eliza announced.

Apparently, Rao had heard her prayers.

Lizzie looked at her grandma and her clear little eyes fell on the colorful popsicle she was holding. The baby was so fascinated by it she dropped the pacifier from her mouth and tried to leave the chair, her body movements still clumsy for a six-month baby. Lena held her firmly, noticing the way her daughter truly wanted to try something new.

“Lena, just a little bit…” Kara intervened for the baby and pouted “it’s just a tiny little piece, I promise.”

“She’s still too young” Lena argued, but, as Lizzie noticed her mother was keeping her from her goal, she pouted just like her mother and her eyes teared up “oh no, please no.”

“There’s no need to worry, trying it won’t do no harm” Eliza assured, trying to find a peaceful way out of the situation.

“Okay” Lena gave in easily. Kara jumped up and grabbed the popsicle, sitting next to the girl “it’s just a little, got it?”

“Yeah” she had barely heard. Lizzie leaned forward, biting the sweet down and soon grimacing at the new taste “do you think she liked it?”

“I don’t know…” Lena shrugged.

“Okay, again” this time, Kara taught her to go for it slowly and watched her lick it and make an unsure face as if she didn’t know what to feel “what did you think?”

Lizzie looked at her mothers and licked her lips. Out of a sudden, she shook her arms and laughed loudly, leaning in again to taste that weird food that was nothing like the milk she was used to. Lena, much to her despair, had to simply accept that her daughter was exactly like her other mother.

“That’s my girl!” Eliza smiled delightedly and lied on the lounger, observing Alex run after Ruby from afar and raise her in the air.

“I wish I had half the energy those two have” Sam returned to where they were, her body still wet and sand sticking to her leg “Lizzie, will you join me and get some sun, hm?” she held her niece and kissed her tummy, making her giggle loud.

“Are you really facing this sun?” Lena questioned, pulling the filled pool closer to her “well… I forgot you’re not human…”

“The perks of being kryptonian aren’t that good” Sam sighed “what if I’m not able to get tan?”

“I wish I had that ability,” Lena shrugged.

“Can I put her in here?” Kara pointed at the pool and Lena nodded “hey, Seedy, how about enjoying summer like a true California girl?”

Since the little kryptonian loved showers and water, it was easy for her to get used to the idea of spending the day inside that funny bath. The California heat was too high that summer, making everyone look for effective ways to get refreshed and so, that place and the beach were always crowded that time of the year, welcoming not only Americans but also curious foreigners on vacation. Not far from their spot, a bar played the summer hits, a small volleyball court was improvised and a group of friends l=played frisbee with a dog running around them. The atmosphere was pleasant. Sam was lying on her stomach on the towel, looking at Lizzie in front of her, who spilled water all around, dampening the white hat on her head. Kara finished eating the five ice creams her mother had brought and Lena finally won the battle against her anxiety and took off her shorts.

Neither of them could breathe right, or form any kind of coherent thought seeing each other in so little cover-up.

Whenever Kara flexed a muscle, Lena swallowed dry, observing how her tarnished abs were more exposed. God, she was about to have a stroke. Nevertheless, seeing her gladly sucking on a popsicle wasn’t helping either.

Not helping at all.

“Are you okay?” Kara reached for her hand “your face… uh… it’s red, do you need more sunscreen?”

Sam laughed loudly, enjoying her newly found super hearing.

“Lizzie, your mothers are useless lesbians” she pretended to whisper.

“Hey!” Kara gasped, wrinkling her nose “don’t say that stuff to her!”

“Relax, darling” Lena pulled her into the lounger, lying them together, her arm embracing her body, enjoying every second of that contact. “Liz doesn’t understand a lot for now.”

Kara grimaced to her sister-in-law, who simply rolled her eyes. The morning went by fast, Alex and Ruby tiring each other out by the sea, only returning to hydrate and eat. The truth was, both of them seemed too excited to stand still, Alex too much stored energy and Sam knew both of her girls were going to sleep through the rest of the day as soon as they returned home. Lena enjoyed the time while Eliza was taking care of Lizzie to cuddle with Kara, holding her tight and talking in whispers; by the way, the baby refused to get out of the pool, splashing the water constantly and laughing at Sam’s yelps when the cold water droplets hit her hot sun skin. They all gathered for lunchtime, grabbing sandwiches from the cooler boxes, except for the one Lena had brought specifically for Kara, well aware she would easily eat over twenty of her mother’s sandwiches.

They sat around the table, laughing and catching up, enjoying the well-deserved rest. It didn’t even look like they were going through troubles, fears, and dangers at National City. There, Lena didn’t have to carry the weight of her last name, Alex didn’t have to think of the past, Sam didn’t think about looking for the woman she had abandoned, or to beg Reign to show up and save someone, and Kara didn’t have to be the little girl left behind, carrying the weight of the world in her shoulders, having to be the hero when she just wanted to be a normal human. No, there all of them could show exactly was their hearts felt, giving easy smiles to silly jokes and playing around dirty jokes about their sex lives, being careful so Ruby wouldn’t understand. Also, the kid was so happy about having such a big family that she didn’t stop talking about how she wanted to be at her grandma’s home forever.

“Go enjoy the water, I’ll keep an eye on Liz,” Eliza said. Lizzie had fallen asleep after feeding, being held in her grandma’s arms, pacifier on her lips.

“Are you sure?” Lena questioned, not wanting to overwhelm her.

“Of course, if she wakes up I’ll call you” Eliza smiled.

“Can I go again? Can I? Please?” Ruby begged.

“Nope, you just ate and had two ice creams?” Alex said calmly, kissing her head “let’s wait half an hour, okay?”

“C’mon!” Ruby crossed her arms, Sam shot her a glare “I’m sorry…”

“We’ll be right back, mom” Kara kissed her cheeks “it won’t take long.”

“Yell us if anything happens, Lizzie put on a show last night and I want to sleep tonight,” Lena said and, truly, she didn’t want the girl crying again.

“Sure you do” Alex teased “sleep? Sure…”

“Well, I know someone who’s going to blackout sleep tonight and will leave her girlfriend sucking on her thumb instead of something else” Lena provoked back, whispering the last part so Ruby wouldn’t listen “maybe we’ll hit her up.”

“I’m in” Ruby answered and winked. Kara groaned at the inference.

“I don’t like that idea” she complained sly “you’re not being serious, right?”

“Of course not, baby” Lena laughed at her jealousy “tonight is just me and you” she whispered, watching Kara get bright red.

“I heard that!” Sam screamed, snarling “Lizzie you heard that, I know, so you have one job tonight. I won’t be the only one wanting to do it.”

“Do what?” Ruby asked, confused.

“A girl’s night!” Alex jumped in quickly.

“Really? Can I participate?” she got excited and Lena laughed “can I?”

“Girl’s night?” Kara was lost.

Oh, Rao!

 

***

 

As expected, Ruby slept on the way home and Alex controlled herself not to do the same. Kara carried the girl to bed, as Sam said it was useless to wake her just to take a shower. Eliza continued to spoil the baby, kissing the flabby cheeks and laughing about how the girl had gotten a bit tanned from that day on the beach. Lena felt at peace, managing to put some of her fears aside for now, though she knew they would kick right back in once they arrived at the penthouse, the weight of her name would fall on her again as her mother would ask about Kara’s departure again. Lena had promised her Kara would, she had reassured that she would at least figure it would, but of course, it wasn’t 100% true. Lena was a coward Luthor, she loved too much the one person she should not even get close to.

However, the heart wants what it wants. Even when the brain warns an impossible choice is inevitable.

“Kara… if we keep going this shower won’t end and Lizzie is going to complain soon” Lena groaned the words out, though she didn’t mean to. Kara trailed down her shoulder with her mouth while the warm water streamed down her body.

When Lena agreed to that, she knew they were going to take longer than usual.

A lot longer.

“I’m sorry, but I… missed you so much” she replied hoarsely, looking at the woman in front of her with such tenderness, it made her walls fall to the ground.

Not thinking twice, Lena closed the gap again, more urgent and intense this time. Her body claimed for more, a lot more than what she was getting. It begged for more contact, more touching, more desire, and relief. It was good not to be intimidated, to know how to tease the loved one, and not be ashamed to be the same as before. Kara had changed since last year, no one could deny it. Ever since Mon-El’s arrival and loss, the sudden pregnancy, the courage to tell the truth, the almost loss of two important people, and then the confession and exposure of her fragile inner self, though she was made of steel on the outside. They accepted those changes gladly and couldn’t wait to test the new things.

The wall hit her back hard and Kara pressed her against it, her thigh pressing in between her legs. They lost themselves in each other, biting and taking all they could. It was a race against time because, at any given moment, Eliza could knock on the door and say that Lizzie was crying. And so, Kara’s hands traveled down to her ass, lifting her body up and then holding on to her waist, making her sex rub on her firm abs. Lena threw her head back, remembering Kara’s body wearing only that small bikini, now lying on the bathroom floor. She squirmed and moved, trying to get some relief, begging in whimpers.

“Please…” she asked. Her dark hair stuck on her neck, sweat and water mixing in the small cubicle.

Kara trailed her lips down her neck, going up and then down again in vicious torture. Lena nailed and scratched her back even harder, full of harmless frustration since she couldn’t really mark the kryptonian’s skin. Damned girl of steel.

Once her hands clasped her boobs and pinched her nipples, a grasping whimper escaped her throat, getting her even closer to the edge. It wouldn’t take long for her to reach it, and Kara could feel it in her stomach. Aware her daughter wouldn’t wait for long, Kara continued to pay attention to her nipples with one hand and the other traced down her waist to her lower stomach, where she took her time, appreciating every mark that had appeared there.

“You’re beautiful, every single thing in your body, Lena…” she whispered, kissing her softly and smiling “I love every piece of you, every single thing…”

“I love you…” she whimpered “please, I n-need..”

The feeling of being filled pushed her over the edge in a matter of seconds. The in and out movement transformed into a dangerously pleasant speed. Kara gave all she had, giving ‘make love’ a real meaning. While she fucked her, adding another finger inside her, she rubbed her clit with her thumb, making Lena use all of her self-control not to scream. She tried to maintain rhythm, but it was impossible not to come when you had a woman like Lena Luthor holding to your waist, completely naked and wet in every sense, grabbing your body with hunger and need.

They caught a breath together, breaking up the kiss just so Lena could whimper her name one last time.

“I got you, it’s okay” Kara held her tight and carefully, slowly stroking her back and taking the wet hair off her face.

Lena held her back, not letting go and not putting her feet on the ground, staying in that position. She leaned her head on her shoulder, breathing in and out until tears came out.

“Hey, what is it?” Kara whispered softly.

“I really… really missed you.” She kissed her neck, trying to show all her feelings in that action.

“I’m here, baby, and I’m not going anywhere” she reassured and a warm feeling flooded Lena’s chest “I’m not going anywhere without you…”

“Promise?” Lena raised her head so she could look her in the eyes and make sure that was real.

She ended up getting lost in that deep blue.

“I promise,” she said, not thinking twice “I’m never leaving.”

And perhaps that was what scared her.

 

***

 

“Ready?” James looked at her and Lena smiled with confidence.

“Always.”

Leaving home that afternoon was a decision Lena regretted very much. Leaving Lizzie and Kara behind was like ripping her heart out. However, that was the deal. Her daughter had finally completed six months of life, old enough for her to try and get back to work gradually, because her responsibilities and company called daily and so, she and Kara had a serious conversation about it. Both agreed that it would be healthy to try and share tasks, getting Lizzie used to the inevitable. The deal was that, when one of them had to go out or had an important appointment, the other would take the girl. But that was so scary that sometimes they thought of only doing it later on. They didn't want to miss one second of her life. They wanted to be together for her first word or when she started to crawl since now she was already worming on the carpet.

Since Supergirl worked at night with the city watch, Lena scheduled a meeting in the afternoon, keeping her promise to hear what James wanted to tell her.

First, she was going to have a meeting with other CEOs referring to upcoming projects for next year, since October was ending in two weeks. In fact, most people there were only interested in the profits, in how they would increase their fortune and pretend that those plans, no matter how innovative they were, would impact many lives in National City. And Lena Luthor was the only woman sitting on the table with ten other expensive suits and questionable tie men. James sat by her side, giving her a side look while Edge made his speech full of immorality, prejudice, and attacks towards the CEO’s family. Not that Lena truly cared, but it was getting tiring to hear him talk over and over again about how she could fail any time or go insane like her brother Lex.

Lena took a deep breath and focused on writing down her thoughts.

Ever since she was little, Lena had been taught to keep a tough, impenetrable posture, head up. Lionel used to say that if she gave them a little breach, the business world would eat her alive in front of everyone, not caring if she was terrified, if she was the best there or if one of those people were friends. To be honest, friendship wasn’t anyone’s forte when the talk was about money and she learned it very soon. So, while accompanying her father and brother to some meetings, she would observe attentively the way some men wouldn’t even blink more than necessary, there was no touching, no smiling, no cordiality. They were there to cut deals, make money and get profitable partners. Lilian even emphasized that a pretty woman in that area is easy bait for smug men who saw them as magazine covers, turning them into sex objects and diminishing them for having a heart.

As always, Edge smirked at her the entire time, accusing her of stupid things and interrupting her every time she tried to argue back. Lena was on the brink of getting up and ending his life with her bare hands.

“Well, that’s all we have time for today” one of the shareholders stood up to finish the meeting “each one of you will receive a copy of the project, the finished sketches, and overall cost, alongside the profits. You’ll have three months to think about it and give Edge an answer” they got up and began to leave the room, chatting with old acquaintances.

“We have exactly twenty minutes before I have to go back home” Lena warned, looking at the clock “what do you want to talk about Olsen?” they were going down the stars. James guided her to the nearest cafeteria, picking a table and pulling her a chair.

“Are we back to the last name basis?” he joked.

“You call me Luthor, I think it’s fair for me to treat you the same way” she retorted, making him laugh it off.

“James, just James” they nodded “but I’m not here to discuss this, in fact, I need your help if you can help me.”

“I’m listening”

“When Cat Grant decided to leave to look for happiness somewhere in Asia, she chose me as CatCo’s CEO and that has been my position ever since” he explained. Lena didn’t know Cat that well, she had run into her at some gala parties and business meetings, the woman truly was something else. But, neither James nor Kara seemed to have any emotional attachment to her “but things haven’t been doing so well at the company, we haven’t been getting any good front-page news or enough interviews to fill the columns. Snapper is on the brink of resignation and, honestly, that’s going to turn the place into chaos.”

“Right, and where do I fit into this?” She arched a brow.

“CatCo is being sold” That caught Lena by surprise. Very much so “Cat called me to warn me about her decision since she doesn’t intend on returning to the company’s presidency. And we have a very interested buyer.”

“Isn’t that a good thing? A new person, new ideas, a new leader would be something pretty interesting to raise CatCo up again” Lena commented, but she knew there was something more to it.

“The thing is that the buyer is Morgan Edge” oh fuck! “and he knows about your relationship with Kara, he knows it can hit a lot of people inside CatCo and out. If he really buys it, a lot of people are going to lose their jobs. He doesn’t care about the magazine’s profile.

“He probably wants a way of marking my reputation and uplifting his, since he\ll have more access to the media” Lena sighed. She should have killed him in that meeting.

“If Edge is the new owner, Kara is going to be fired, and probably so am I, I think” he breathed out “I’m not asking you to go fight him, I just need you to help me find someone who could make a bigger offer. There are a lot of interns in there, people who rely on that money and even Kara started out as a secretary. It wouldn’t be fair.

“No, it wouldn’t be,” she agreed. Her voice went down a few octaves and her head was flooded by a rain of confusing thoughts.

James was staring at her, waiting for an answer that could be his hope. He knew Morgan wasn’t going to fire him, he wasn’t stupid enough for it. However, the guy really liked playing with fire, showing he cared about no one but himself. Lena was quiet for a few minutes, looking for the right words, something inside herself that could demonstrate it. But nothing she thought of seemed like a good idea. Absolutely nothing.

She breathed in and out.

“I have an idea but I need you to give me a week.”

She was never going to let Kara Danvers lose everything again.

 

***

 

Supergirl flew back quickly to the DEO after helping the boatmen pull some deposits to the beach. It felt nice to do simple stuff, to see their thankful smile and just be the hero who rescues kittens from tall trees. Or snakes. After spending time alone with Lizzie, flying and feeling the sun on her skin felt like a warm hug, a new sense of peace and tranquility. Lena arrived around six, Kara remembered her heart had skipped a beat at the sight of her in that emerald green dress, defining her curves perfectly. Sure, a small feeling of jealousy also came along, after all, she was going to be in a room full of disgusting men who could never keep their eyes at appropriate places. Lizzie screamed excitedly as she saw her mom and raised her arms, a call for her to come to lie on the pillow fortress her yeyu had built for them to watch cartoons.

All of Kara's worries vanished in the exact moment as Lena smiled and kissed her lips, whispering a soft ‘I missed you’ in her ears. The three of them stayed there for a while, talking about their routine and watching the baby grab her toys and put them in her mouth, now without losing balance and falling to the ground. Lizzie had completed six months four days ago, which was celebrated with cake, dinner with her family, and lots of gifts from her godparents. The photographer, as always, did an impeccable job. The pictures were absolutely stunning, and the baby also had a part in it, because no one had wavy black hair like her, nor so clear blue eyes. A perfect mix of her mothers. After returning from Midvale, her mothers took her to the monthly consultation with the pediatrician and everything was okay.

Lizzie was an agitated child, a curious one and her development was going fast, surprising even her doctor, Eva. She knew how to babble some words, without really saying them, she could sit down without falling, turn upside down on her stomach and worm on the carpet, she recognized closer people by name, she liked to sleep between her mothers, to take long baths with all her little rubber fish on the bathtub, to watch Winnie the Pooh and a children’s show where funny songs were played a group of strange people danced. Also, music was the best way to calm her down, because she was clearly a stubborn baby. Kara would sing the same melodies Alura used to sing before bed. Her superpowers came down to three so far: hearing, strength, and skin of steel.

But they hadn't had any issue regarding it yet. Strangely, unlike her yeyu, Lizzie had full control over them

Alex still took exams, checking if everything was okay and figuring out a way for her niece to get the vaccines, much to her sister’s despair. The fact that the baby had super strength was noticed by everyone because it was expected for her to break everything around her, whether that was plastic toys or fingers. However, nothing like that happened. Lizzie was still able to break things no other baby or normal human could supposedly break, but she only did it if she was asked or if she intended to. She was still delicate, with a soft, warm touch, never hurting a person that was next to her. And so, Lena was a bit more relieved, proud of her daughter, and trying not to think about what other surprises might come next.

Except for those facts regarding the girl’s health, the rest of their lives were going well. Lena was Kara tried to adjust their relationship again, not quite naming it or creating too many expectations. No matter what happened, they would always be friends, because that was the foundation to their love: their friendship. The Luthor-Danvers family began to stabilize better, spending more time together, going to the park when they could, visiting Ramona and Julie together, and this time, telling the truth about their feelings and expectations for the future. Of course, the two friends were desperately cheering for them to be together, but they didn’t say it out loud. Except for a time or two when they got too excited. Lizzie got used to Ezra carrying her around, kissing her cheeks and playing with her, surrounding her with his favorite toys. It was funny to notice the genuine care the boy felt for the baby, always watching over her and asking if she was hungry.

And Lizzie was always hungry.

Grace, Theo, Thomas, Ezra, and Lizzie were the luckiest group of children in the world. Grace and Lizzie were practically the same age, the difference being of a month and a half. Kara felt happy, seeing her daughter surrounded by people who loved her, by friends, she could have for life and she couldn’t wait to see them running around the backyard. Theo and Thomas were the most tender and sly, and also the least messy. Ramona would go on non-stop about how her children weren’t any work, of how they had a strong bond and could understand each other from just one look, even though they were very young. Well, they already knew how to crawl and leaned on whatever furniture they could find. The baby afternoon always turned out to be Ezra running through the living room, the twins crawling under the table, and Lizzie and Grace sitting together by the ball pit, talking in a language only they could understand.

And about the date, it was perfect, more perfect than Kara expected. She chose to take Lena to the theater, where an Aladdin musical was going to be performed, and Lizzie went with them because Kara would never exclude her daughter from a moment like this. Lena was concerned that the baby wouldn’t be able to behave herself during the show, worried about her super hearing, but Lizzie was an angel and tried to clap along with the actor’s singing. After that, they ended up at a normal pizza place, a rather family-ey one, with space for children to play. They chatted, held hands, laughed, and decided their relationship would be based on things like these, simple one. They didn’t need a lot, because they already had everything.

They had Lizzie and she was enough.

The evening ended at home, Lena putting the baby to sleep and placing her in the crib. Kara chose a movie she didn’t even finish, because the naked woman beside her was far more interesting than that rom-con, or was it science fiction?

“Are you ready?” Alex nodded and J’onn sighed “are you coming in with me?”

“Of course I am” she sighed “where is Reign?”

“She refused to come here and tried to break my nose again” Winn giggled at Kara’s resentment “what’s wrong with a high five?”

“Can we begin?” J’onn called for attention “the faster we begin, the faster we end this.”

“Right, I need to be home before eight” Alex walked the hallway next to Kara, both heading towards the room where two metahumans were still hospitalized, but arrested “I promised Ruby we were going to have Mexican before Reign appears.”

“Before she appears?” Kara frowned.

“Do you have any idea how much she eats?” Alex replied “we’re still trying to get used to each other… thing, from Sam” she sighed “Reign is more closed up, dry and sarcastic, I like her, but now when I’m hungry.”

“Reign is not a thing” Kara defended her “it’s a personality, I think.”

“She’s a thing, but for now I just want to keep my mind on eating before she arrives” they laughed.

“Invite me for dinner,” Kara winked.

“Like hell, I will!” Alex gave her a shove and they laughed louder “maybe we’ll do a hot-dog eating competition between you two.”

“That’s such a bad idea” Kara shook her head “I’m in!”

They stopped talking as soon as they walked into the room one of the guys was in. He did not look good, the dark bags under his eyes showed his fragile physical state, his chest heavily going up and down and a wheezing sound coming out of his lung. Alex did her best to keep them alive, asking Winn to find their families as fast as possible, because she didn’t know how long they were going to make it. The man they were looking at was García Juarez, a Colombian immigrant who only had one living family, his son, Miguel. According to those who found him, García had been missing for almost two months, though the cops never went looking for him because to them, an immigrant was practically nobody.

Winn managed to contact Miguel, and the boy, only eighteen years old, cried his eyes out, lost as to what to do and how to react. For now, his father would be kept under what Winn called an ‘FBI arrest’ and as soon as he was in better health conditions, Miguel would be called for a visitation.

Alex decreased the sedative last night, so it could be out of his blood by now.

“Mr. Juarez?” his dark eyes looked at the two figures in front of him and he clumsily tried to sit up. The pain that shot through him kept his movement from going, making him release a grunt and lie down again, more agitated “please, be calm” Alex placed her hands on his shoulders “we’re not here to hurt you.”

“Where am I? Who…” he was interrupted by a hard cough “who are you?”

“I’m agent Danvers and this is Supegirl” she pointed at her sister “we’d like you to answer some questions but if you’re in too much pain, we’ll do it little by little” he processed the words in silence “what do you remember?”

“Where is Miguel?” his accent grew more evident and the panic on his voice was palpable “I… I remember…” she sighed.

“It’s okay, Miguel is fine” Supergirl reassured, “just say it slowly and take a deep breath.”

“I remember… I remember I left for work and I Miguel to keep los ojos… sorry, his eyes on the milk on the stove” he tried his best to speak clearly “he’s a nice kid, helps Mrs. Carmen take care of the children, and I always… I always heard him tell them stories in the backyard and Mrs. Carmen screams ‘no puede contar cuentos de hadas, ellas necesitan la realidad’” he giggled to himself, sadness flooding over his eyes.

“Do you remember anything after that?” Alex questioned.

“Miguel had found a new job opportunity for me because I don’t make much with my job right now” he explained “and the bills came, they were going to kick us out. I got ready that day, asked him to lock the house and turn off the light after he left. The address was north of town, a car factory and then..” he sighed, feeling a burning pain on his chest “then I… I remember seeing someone… a man and he… I don’t know, he was big, very strong, and others like me were there, in fact, it was five of us” his hands were shaking, showing he wasn’t going to hold it much longer “after that, we got into this shed and everything started to lose focus, to swirl and then I can’t remember…”

“It’s okay,” Supergirl said. “Can you describe the man?”

“Black? I think he was black, tall, and…” then he groaned in pain, grabbing the bed’s sheet tight. The yellow light glowed in his chest and he screamed at the burning feeling invading his body.

The machine’s beep started to sound faster and other agents near the room ran to help them. The sedative was injected again, alongside strong painkillers and the only alternative Alex had found to help them live longer. But the end was inevitable. If they didn’t find out what that was fast, the two men were going to die in less than a couple of days.

As they walked out of the room, leaving García to rest and fall asleep, Kara felt her phone vibrate inside her boot.

“Yeah?” she turned at her sister, who shot her a confused look back “okay… yeah, yes we do. Okay. Call me when you arrive” she turned it off and sighed.

“Who was it?”

“Clark” Kara answered in a not-so-happy voice, unlike she used to “he’s coming here, apparently, he has another lead on the case.”

 

***

 

“Ruby, wait for me!” Alex screamed in vain because the girl had already vanished through the supermarket corridors.

“C’mon, mom!” she answered way ahead “if we keep stalling, we won’t make it in time.”

“Yeah, I know, but we can walk like normal people” Alex exhaled “did you take the ingredients I asked?”

“Yep, it’s all here” Ruby showed her the crumpled shop list “red bell pepper, pepper, tomatoes, onions, avocado” she kept reciting the list until they got to the butchery line “lemon, parsley, basil…”

“Okay, troublemaker,” the girl rolled her eyes. “All we need is the meat and we’ll go home.”

“Can we watch that movie I told you about?” Ruby gave it another shot “it’s a little bit!”

“Ruby, you have classes tomorrow and your first period is math,” Alex said tenderly, fixing the girl's hair gently “I promise we’ll watch it on the weekend okay?”

“Damn it, I don’t even like going to that school” she complained “the girls are so weird and think they’re twenty-one. We’re only fourteen! I hate that place.”

“It will get better, I promise” Alex assured and prayed it was true because, to be honest, high school was a thousand times worse “what about that friend of yours? What was her name?”

“Charlie” Ruby replied, “what about her?”

“I thought she was cool, she can be a good company” she tried to help and Ruby wondered about it for a moment.

“Well, she is… maybe it isn’t that bad,” she said dramatically making Alex laugh out loud.

“Why are you dramatic and moody?” Alex provoked and the girl smirked.

“I got it from someone, have you ever met my mom?” she faked it “a tall, annoying, boring redhead?” Alex gasped and pretended to be offended.

As she turned on another corridor, heading to the register, she bumped into a woman.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t see…” Alex looked up, her heart beating out of her chest “Maggie?”

Notes:

don't forget to leave kudos and comments! They mean so much!

Chapter 29: Get Naked (I got a plan)

Notes:

well, well, look who's early!

this a spicy one people, buckle up!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Danvers!” Maggie smiled awkwardly, as Alex felt her hands sweat “wow… how long!”

“Yeah… how long,” she scoffed. Ruby observed both of them, unsure of what to think “are you back in National City?”

“Only visiting, if fact… I came here to take some papers” she explained “I’m staying for two months then taking the final transfer to Gotham.”

“Good… uh, I mean… are you happy, er… with that decision?” Alex cursed herself for asking that way. Maggie shot her a sad smile, knowing she probably didn’t mean to ask that, but maybe that was the time, to be honest “I’m sorry…” Alex tightening her grip on the shopping cart.

“I’m happy, yeah” Maggie replied, the familiar dimples showing on her cheeks “are you?”

“Uh…”

“Mom, who is this?” Ruby decided to interfere since she was lost inside that interaction “we’re going to be late for dinner!” she crossed her arms impatiently.

“Oh, shit! Yeah!” Alex shook her head “Rubs, this is Maggie” she shot the girl a firm glare, as if telling her to be polite “Maggie, this is Ruby, my…”

“Daughter?” Maggie arched a brow and smiled politely to the kid “nice to meet you, Ruby.”

“No!” the two turned to Alex “I mean, yes! She is… my daughter? But not… like that, I just…” fuck, Alex, why did you have to be so nervous

“Danvers, are you okay?” Sam placed a hand on her shoulder, but the action was noticed by the girl.

“Is she your ex?” Ruby questioned, curiously “that Sawyer lady?”

“Fuck…” Alex sighed.

“That’s me, kid” Maggie winked “that Sawyer lady” she reached out a hand to greet her, but Ruby didn’t shake it. She was just as stubborn as Alex when she wanted to.

“I want to go home, aunt Alex” Ruby changed the treatment, if the agent wasn’t going to call her daughter in front of that lady, then Ruby was sure as hell not going to call her mom.

And Alex noticed it, and it only made her feel worse.

“I’m sorry, Maggie, I have to go,” Alex said with a half-smile and sad eyes “well, I see you… around…”

“My number is still the same, if you ever want to talk” Maggie was sincere “take care, Danvers, you too Ruby.” she waved and left the place.

Ruby quickly turned around and went to the cashier, waiting for her to follow. Alex followed her, of course, but she was no longer in the mood for Mexican night.

 

***

 

The house’s atmosphere got heavier as soon as they stepped into it and a moody Ruby walked firmly to her room, closing the door aggressively. Sam took her eyes off the article she was reading and stared at her girlfriend, not understanding what was happening. From what she remembered, they had planned to make dinner together, chat and enjoy a family night. Her daughter talked about it for hours since they decided it, jumping up and down and wanting to go buy the ingredients right the next day. Now, Sam was unsure of what to think, because when Ruby was in a mood, it was hard to get anything out of her. So, Sam observed the way Alex suddenly seemed to be carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her eyes were opaque, sad, and her hands were shaking, something that stopped happening long ago.

“Will you explain to me what happened?” Sam asked calmly, calling her closed “c’mon, sit down.”

 

Alex promptly obeyed and took a deep breath before processing the idea of telling her about her ex’s sudden return. It was about Maggie being there, physically present and smiling with the damned dimpled she had fallen in love with over a year ago, it was about what she did to her heart. Alex didn’t love her anymore, she didn’t feel an inch of emotion like she used to, sure, she was grateful for it all, for the good and bad moments, it would be unfair to Maggie for Alex to remember only the days everything fell apart. Actually, what Alex was feeling was a mix of confusion and uncertainty, she couldn’t quite put that situation into words.

She took a deep breath, tears burning the corner of her eyes.

“Alex?”

“It’s Maggie” she murmured, looking away “she’s back.”

“And?” Sam put the papers aside, turning to her to understand the situation better “Alex, look at me, I can’t talk if you’re not going to look me in the eye.”

Shit.

“We ran into her at her supermarket, actually I stumbled on her and well… Ruby was with me and when I tried to explain to Maggie that she wasn’t my daughter, in reality” she sighed, her hands were shaking, she was losing control “I just… I just want to explain I hadn’t generated here, I don’t know… I don’t even know what I wanted, I got so nervous and I lost, because…”

“Because you didn’t expect to meet your ex after so long” Sam completed it for her, Alex nodded “you still feel something for her…”

It was a question, there was no doubt in that sentence. Samantha had said it as if it was a fact.

“Sam, no!” Alex jumped up and tried to reach for her hand, but Sam stepped back and got up, heading to the kitchen “Sam!”

 

“You had promised me you wouldn’t hurt Ruby like that, Alexandra!” Sam raised her voice “we had talked, I told you exactly what my fear was and I expected it not to come from you” she pointed out angrily “you can break up with me, break my heart in a million pieces and say you’re getting back together with her, just please…” she sighed “don’t do this to Ruby. She’s only fourteen, she got attached to you and loves you like a mother.”

“Sam, I don’t love Maggie!” Alex was on the brink of screaming “For God’s sake will you let me explain?” she was still dodging her, her eyes tearing up, trying to distract her mind with anything she could find “Sam, look at me!”

“Why?” She yelled. Her voice demonstrated how terrified she was “why didn’t you tell me you still had feelings for her? Look at how you came back home! I can see it in your eyes!”

“Sam, you’re being nonsensical, please, let me speak!” her mood was dropping, and so was her patience.

Maggie Sawyer had returned for fifteen minutes and everything turned to chaos.

“I just want to rest, you can think about what you’ll do and let me know in the morning” Sam ended it, cleaning her face and heading to her room.

“Samantha Arias, come back here, now!” Alex screamed again. Her whole body was shaking, her head was aching and her heart couldn’t take it anymore “what is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong?” Sam screamed back “how am I going to compete with her?” she sobbed, the tears ran down her face, making her hair stick to her cheeks “how am I going to be enough if Maggie was your first love, the person you were going to get married with, who yo had plans made for and didn’t have to worry about another being living inside her or pick her up in strange place and god knows what else!”

“Sam!”

“Stop fighting, please!” Ruby ran into the hallway. She had tried to muffle the screams under her pillow, bury her head under the blankets, there was nothing she hated more than hearing her mothers fighting “just… s-stop..” she cleaned her face “I d-don’t…”

“Oh, Ruby” Alex tried to get closer but she stepped back.

“y-you’re leaving, aren’t you?” Ruby questioned painfully “you too… you’re leaving too…”

Sam and Alex looked at each other, searching for answers in one another. But nothing came.

“I’m not leaving, sweetheart” Alex kneeled, getting on her height and cleaning her face “how could I leave if I’m your mom?”

“Because everyone does,” she spat. Alex pulled her in for a tight hug and the girl went on “A-am I… am I really your daughter?”

And there it was, the mistake Alex had made earlier.

“Ruby, listen to me, okay?” her voice was soft “what I said then was a mistake, I couldn’t explain myself right and I ended up hurting you, I know that. But in my heart, no matter what happens, you will always be a daughter to me. Always” she was firm “and no one is going to change that.

“Really?” she nodded “are you going to fight?”

“No, baby” Sam intervened and hugged her too “go to bed, we’ll talk more in the morning, okay?” she agreed.

“I love you” Alex held her tight, receiving a weak, but calmer smile “good dreams, troublemaker.”

“I love you” Ruby kissed her cheeks and made her way back, though she wanted to stay there to assure nothing bad would happen.

Ruby closed the door and they breathed out. The tension was palpable and so was the pain.

“Sam I need you to listen to me, otherwise we’re going to keep screaming and fighting, and that’s the last thing I want,” Alex said quietly. They entered the room and each sat on a corner of the bed.

They didn’t dare to get close, to make sudden movements or anything of the sort. Alex didn’t want her girlfriend to feel that way but she understood where she was coming from, how the doubts were based. If it was the other way around, Alex would’ve probably reacted worse. Maggie was part of her story, she helped her overcome barriers that at the time seemed impossible to even try breaking down, she had said yes to the proposal. They were going to get married, they had gotten gifts, sent invitations, counted the days, picked up furniture and even the future dogs already had names. It wasn’t something Alex could simply erase from her memory, it didn’t work like that. Alex was sure of it.

But it was something she had gotten over. Left in the past. To be honest, Alex barely thought of Maggie or regretted her choices. Maggie did what she believed was right, she left and never looked back. Alex stayed, with a broken heart, destroyed and accepting help from a person she was merely acquaintances with, but now she was grateful to have in her life. The glow in Alex's eyes wasn’t love or the remains of a feeling, but from the pain, Maggie dug with that smile, with the belief that she could treat Alex as she always did, unconcerned about the consequences. Maggie never called to know about her, if she needed help if she needed to talk, or to clean anything between them. No, she just left and left Alex to deal with everything on her own, pretending she was strong enough to accept that the woman that she loved had given up on her.

It wasn’t happiness, much less relief. It was a grudge.

“It’s true, what you said” Alex murmured after a few silent minutes “with Maggie I didn’t have to worry if she was going to wake up at an abandoned warehouse or out of town. I never need a curfew, because we were both adults without the responsibility of putting a kid that has school the next day to bed. I also didn’t have to panic about her having powers, an inexplicable being inside her that is actually an alien.” Sam watched her quietly “Maggie was an ordinary woman, with human problems and a human heart.”

She sighed

“But even though she was human, even though I had that liberty, I never felt whole” Alex confessed, letting the tears stream “with you, I have to be home by nine, I have to check Ruby’s homework, check her science grades. I have to put her uniform on the washing machine, know if there’s enough food for a week or know when her tests are” she smiled and her eyes glowed differently “I don’t care that we have sex quietly so she doesn’t hear it, or if we have to share our time with her, that I have to wake up earlier to make you coffee or stay up late to hear about the articles you’ve been reading” their eyes finally met “I’d spend days looking for you, I’d go pick you even if you were in another dimension, because I don’t do it out of pity, or obligation, I do that because I love you and I do it because I love the family you gave me, Sam.”

“Then why does she get so easily into you? Why did you come back home like this?” and there it was, her insecurity, eating her from inside out.

“Because I was angry, because she brings me so many happy memories, and bad ones, and I still don’t know how to deal with them” Alex explained “yes, I was going to marry Maggie and yes, she was my first love” Alex got closed to her, and as she reached her, she intertwined her hands and kissed her knuckles “but you’re my mature love, the one I want to keep forever. I’m not saying it’s going to last forever, but I’m telling you that I’ll do everything I can to make sure it never leaves” her voice broke down “come here…”

Sam leaned her head on her shoulder and squeezed it, sighing as if she had spent years away from her loved one. She cried her heart out, letting all her fears, pains, and anguishes slip away. Sam had never feared losing someone so much like now and she had never come so close to going mad by that scenario. Alex wasn’t just the woman she had a relationship with, she was her family, her safe harbor, her adviser, her friend, her movie partner, the mother of her daughter and the sexiest most stubborn agent she had ever met. Alex was the reason everything was more simple, even with Reign in their lives. Sam was always impressed about how Alex never complained about picking her up in the most unpredictable places and was always calm about going out in the middle of the night.

And that was the main reason for the fight, Sam couldn’t believe she would be able to compete with the detective that had Alex’s heart before her.

“I’m… I’m sorry” Sam whispered, not letting go of her “I would… wouldn’t be able to see…” her voice broke “I remember how you were, how broken you were and I… I’d never been enough like that to compete…”

“Samantha, my love, look at me” Alex held her face “this isn’t a competition. I don’t love two people at the same time, or am in love with two people waiting for them to battle for my love” Alex said seriously “Maggie chose her path and I chose mine. And in my path, I want you by my side, I want Ruby, my sister, Lena and my niece” she sighed “Sam I’m not leaving, I love you and I’m staying” she repeated, “I love you, get it?”

“I love you too, Alex” Sam smiled between tears “I’m sorry…”

“I’m sorry too” Alex hugged her again, feeling a relief too big to be put into words “just, please, don’t… don’t doubt me like that.”

“Come live here,” Sam asked suddenly “I mean, once for all. Bring your things here, your furniture, whatever you want. Just be here…”

“I practically live here already, there are more clothes of mine in your closet than in mine” Alex laughed but there was something in Sam’s eyes that showed there was something more “Sam, what do you want to tell me?”

“It’s… nothing” Sam sighed, fidgeting with her shirt.

Alex arched a brow and waited for it.

“I don’t just want you to move in” Sam averted her eyes, looking at the dim wall and feeling the humid breeze enter through the window “I want you to stay in every sense” she finally looked at her “I want you to marry me.”

Silence.

Alex felt a sting hit her chest; strong, firm, intense. Marriage. The word spun in an infinite loop in her mind, bringing frightening memories, confusing feelings, and soon her body entered fight or flight mode. It was like going down the same way, all over again. Alex remembered feeling happy, making plans, and then throwing them away as if they meant nothing. But, as her mind looked for the self-sabotage button, a certain conversation she had with Lena invaded her thoughts, one where Alex herself explained to her what it was like to live inside a glass dome. Not allowing herself to feel, to mix, to let anyone touch her soul as she deserved. And Sam was that person, and she still is. Sam was the woman who had taken her in, taken care of her, she had patiently waited for Alex, understood her pains, helped her deal with her worst nightmares, and shared the best part of her heart.

And then Alex realized that the proposal was the same. The words were similar and so were the intentions. But it was a different person and that brought a whole new meaning to that path, a new destiny, a new significance.

 

“Yes,” Alex answered, making all of Sam’s insecurities vanish “yes to moving in and yes to marrying you.”

 

***

 

Kara was definitely tangling it up, especially when it came to working. Being a reporter and a hero was never an impossible job. Okay, maybe sometimes she couldn’t handle being both at the same time, mainly when the city was dealing with bigger issues than her personal life. But now it was different, not a lot, but it was. Lena was returning to her CEO position, participating in meeting after meeting, visiting labs, and working on some ultra-secret project with Sam and Eliza, so Kara had to, besides going back to being Supergirl and a CatCo reporter, be the mother that Lizzie needed. And that wasn’t easy, to be honest. Kara barely had time to sit down and catch a breath, the girl demanded too much time, energy, and disposition. Not that the ladder two were a problem, they definitely weren’t, being kryptonian came in handy at these times.\

What worried Kara was the time. Snapper had given her a deadline for the article she had to write and it was extremely important for her because he had finally given her a subject she loved: Alien life on Earth. When Kara received the news, her heart jumped to her throat and she had to control herself to not hug her boss since he probably wouldn’t be happy about it. Much like Reign.

However, being a mother, superhero, reporter, and girlfriend - or something of the sort - with a CEO was the most complicated job in the world. Many times, Winn found her lying across the floor in an interrogation room, surrounded by scattered paper, the laptop on her lap, and a notepad in her hand. That was her life now, the rhythm that Lizzies had settled. Lena also couldn’t manage all her time to be productive now. Their daughter would wake up three times per night to feed and in each awakening, she would take at least one hour to get back in bed, wanting to play, listening to music, or mess with Alex. Eva advised them to not take her out of the room, to insist for her to stay in bed until she’d fall asleep, that was creating a habit and soon Liz would understand she shouldn’t watch Winnie the Pooh until three in the morning.

It was a complete failure, Lizzie had lungs of steel and her cry was heart-wrenching. Many times, Lena fell asleep on the couch while the girl was wide awake, playing with the rubber animals Winn had given her. Kara would then carry Lena back to bed and stay with her daughter until she fell asleep again, only for Lizzie to wake up two and a half hours later with the energy to run a marathon.

Lizzie was about to turn seven months. She already wormed through the house, not really crawling yet and she would shake her hands when she wanted something, babble something close to words, she liked cartoons, long showers, her rubber pets, pillow forts, to sleep between her moms, taking off her socks so she could suck on her toe and so much more. Also, she had begun to eat fruity baby food, which was hard to get her used to since she wasn’t a big fan of the taste. Lena tried many mixes, tastes, until she gave up, skipping to the salty taste of vegetables. And that was a huge success. Apparently, Lizzie liked carrots, potatoes, zucchini, and a variety of flavorings. It was funny to see her menace at some, spit some out and make a mess on her lunch chair.

That adventure ended up in a bunch of photos and videos on the family chat.

After her appetite was more used to the strange tastes, they tried the fruits again, her mothers agreeing to try the less citric and sweeter ones. Lizzie adored papaya, apple, and pear. And for Lena, that felt like the greatest victory of her life, though it sounded like an exaggeration. Lizzie would now eat the baby food twice a day, but her preference was still her mother’s milk, choosing it most times. The worst part wasn’t the mess itself, but the number of times she would dirt her diapers, making Kara groan in disgust and get sickened by the smell. It’s part of the job, it’s what Lena would repeat like a mantra every day while laughing at Kara’s face. And that was how it went, every day. Kara would go to CatCo three times a week, thanks to James who always had her back against Snapper and Lena took care of Lizzie in that time. On the other days, Lena went to L-Corp and would leave the two of them home.

Things only got complicated in the afternoon. Kara needed to be Supergirl, it wasn’t a choice, it was an order. So, they tried to take turns, but that didn’t work all time because the crime didn’t exactly have a schedule. The agreement was that Lena would take Lizzie to the company and Supergirl would drip by to get her as soon as the job was done. It wasn’t the best situation but what else could they do? Someone had to have her and they wouldn’t give their daughter to a stranger to take care of. That’s how Eliza came into the story, now that she was living in National City. The first days were despairing, unsure if the baby was going to get used to it or not, she cried every night, thinking she was being left aside.

Endless mornings.

Lena thought about giving up many times, she cried to Kara and decided that maybe it was best to wait until she was a little bit older. Kara agreed, but she didn’t think it was fair for Lena to leave the company aside, the job she loved so much. And so, Kara offered to take the girl to CatCo in the afternoons, she’d try to get some things finished and, before dropping her off at Eliza, she would go to L-Corp so Lizzie could visit her other mom. And that was stressing and exhausting Kara, physically and mentally. She never thought a human being or half-human being that is seven months old could be so much work.

“Kara?” J’onn yanked her out of her thoughts and she turned to him confused. “Clark is here and he wants to speak with you.”

 

Oh, Rao! She had completely forgotten about that.

“Okay, I’ll be there in two,” she replied, using super-speed to clean her mess, check the clock, organize her things and lock the door. Lena would be off from work in a few minutes and they had agreed to meet at Noonan’s for a snack.

With the everyday routine, Kara and Lena ended up with a couple of minutes alone, when they tried their best to be together and close. Which usually was a quickie in the bathroom or bathtub, stolen kisses at L-Corp, or while Lizzie took her naps in the weekend’s afternoons. But that wasn’t a lot, which only made things even more frustrating.

“Clark and... Lois! Wow! Lois you’re… uh, er… you’re very…” Kar gestured with her hands, unsure of what to say, or how to say it. Or even if she could say something.

“Pregnant” Lois completed, watching her turn all shades of red.

“Uh… yeah, I… congratulations?” Kara was so lost she could barely form a coherent thought “I mean, congratulations!” she shot her hands up, smiling and trying to show it wasn’t as insane as it was.

Lois was pregnant. biologically pregnant, of her cousin, and that only meant one thing. Lizzie wasn't the only one anymore. As she thought.

“I wanted to tell you earlier, but we’re having some issues regarding…” Clark scoffed “hormones…”

“What are you insinuating, Smallville?” Lois crossed her arms above her approximately five-month belly

“What do you have for us?” J’onn intervened, stopping the subject and focusing on a more urgent one “any lead on what is happening and how to save our metahumans?”

“We managed to track the last robbery and it happening right here” Clark pointed at the digital map over the round table “there wasn’t anything very important, the chemical problems and DNA samples were all in the other two warehouses.”

“After a lot of research and talking to some sources at the Daily Planet, we ended up at Luthor-Corp again, or to be more specific, to Lex Luthor” Lois explained and Kara sighed heavily “though that place wasn’t in the company’s name, the last buyer to move something there was Lex’s ex-secretary and he has been on the run for over five years.”

“And about the metahumans?” J’onn questioned.

“This secretary might be missing, but he left some notes and documents behind” Lois continued and leaned on the table, after all, she was carrying another person inside her “maybe I broke some rules or many, but it was so worth it” she grabbed a folder inside her bag, almost exploding from the excessive amount of papers inside it and showed it to them “Clark and I read this and sorted what was necessary, but now we need a little hand.”

“Whose hand?” Alex walked in, finally, and looked at the two invading figures in her workplace. Though she loathed both of them, she had to remain professional “wow… you’re…”

And the subject returned.

"Pregnant" Lois completed again.

“That was my reaction too,” Supergirl whispered to her sister, “but who do you need help from?”

“Lena Luthor” Superman answered without hesitation and the whole DEO felt the atmosphere change, waiting for the third world war to being in that room “don’t get me wrong, we’re not going to interrogate her, we just need her to take a look at these materials and tell us what do it with them. Maybe she knows how to use them and create a way to save the metahumans before it’s too late.”

“You’re not going to ask questions but there’s no way I’m missing this opportunity,” Lois said excitedly, but an unfriendly figure walked into the room, looking her up and down.

“And I’m not answering any of those questions” Lena walked to them, her head up high and her heels echoing through the walls, getting a smirk out of Alex.

“Lena!” Kara jumped up and ran to hug her, not caring about what the visitors would think of that “what are you doing here?”

“Hey, babe” Lena gave her a peck on the lips and Lois rolled her eyes “Alex called me” the agent winked to them, chest rising in pride.

“Oh… I’m glad you came then” Kara was honest, kissing her again, only being interrupted by J’onn’s embarrassed scoffed “where’s Lizzie?”

“Here” and that voice caught all of them by surprise. All of them.

 

“Who is she?” Lois questioned, looking at the woman in a dark cape and incredibly red eyes, stepping back and placing herself beside her boyfriend.

“A friend” Lena answered, tuning to Reign, holding Lizzie as if she was an unfamiliar object. It was hilarious to notice how different she was from Sam “Reign, this is Lois Lena and this is Clark Kent, or Superman, whatever is fine” she introduced with little to no interest.

“Will you take this off of me? She is sticky and keeps drooling this disgusting thing on my clothes” her voice came out irritated and she moved the baby as she tried to take her mask off again “ugh, Luthor!”

“Okay, baby come with auntie” Alex called and Lizzie went to her arms, Reign grimaced.

“I hate these human pups.” Reign sighed angrily.

“Hey! Don’t talk about my daughter like that!” Supergirl grumbled and shoved the woman, who shoved her back harder and shot her a death glare “I’m not scared of you!”

“Is what you say now” Reign threatened “is this your cousin?” she pointed at the man in the red cape.

“Yes, why?” Kara frowned, but before she could blink or understand Reign’s intentions, Clark was on the ground and Lois screamed “Reign! What have you done?” Kara gasped. Lizzie watched the mess attentively while Alex and Lena did their best to try and not laugh.

Supergirl helped him up, his nose was bleeding, which was at least curious to him. J’onn face palmed his forehead and took a deep breath before wisely picking his words. What had the DEO become? A kindergarten?

“He wanted one of those… what do you call it?” Reign turned to Alex “a high five.”

“No, I did not” Clark replied, cleaning his nose with the tissue Lois gave him and frowned “I didn’t even say anything!”

“Then I must've gotten it wrong,” she shrugged. Lena focused on keeping a straight face but Alex didn’t even try, embracing Reign with one arm and kissing her cheek.

“Hey! Why does she get to hug you and I don’t?” Kara pouted, crossing her arms and completely forgetting about her cousin’s question.

“Do you really want to know?” Alex smirked maliciously.

“No, no we don’t” J’onn intervened “can we continue?”

“I’ll see you later,” Reign said to the agent and flew through the balcony. She hated that place and most of all, she hated dealing with people.

“How did you know we were going to come to you for help?” Lois questioned, a bit suspicious “what are you hiding?”

“From you? Nothing” Lena quickly went back to her CEO persona “I don’t owe you anything, but did you really think you could go through documents regarding my company, my family and no one would notice it?” Superman smiled. He remembered Lex’s posture was exactly like that, full of confidence, smug, and extremely smart “since the first robbery, my CFO was informed and contacted me. I’ve been aware of this from the start.”

 

“Okay, Ms. Luthos, and how do you explain the kryptonite track that was found in National City leading straight to your lab at L-Corp?” that was her ace up her sleeves.

Sure, Lena knew that subject was going to come up and most of them would expect the worst to happen. She wasn’t going to lie, Lena was running a project with kryptonite, doing experiments and she needed the material for the theory she was testing. However, knowing that Clark and that nosy Lois were spying where they shouldn’t be, make Lena angry. A feeling she didn’t want to deal with now, but she wouldn’t be able to control it if the reporter kept insisting on it. Lena sighed, tired, and looked at Lizzie, distracted with her pacifier and smiled, feeling calmer, her daughter always managed to get her spirit lighter. Lois was still waiting for an answer, especially inside that department. She knew about Clark and J’onn past feuds and maybe she was expecting something like that, maybe she could unmask her and show who Lena Luthor truly was.r

“So?” Lois repeated.

“We were trying to track the radioactive material, but we ended up finding much more” Superman explained “and we need answers, it’s not safe to have kryptonite and I thought the DEO’s deposit was empty” he silently accused.

“And it is” Lena answered, Kara, placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Lena knows how to produce kryptonite and she’s using it for a classified project” Kara defended “the DEO is fully aware of it, Lena signed all the paper she needed and it’s us who take care of the safe it’s being kept on.”

“I am also involved and my mother is running the primary phase of that project, since it’s related to what she used to do at the Midvale labs” Alex explained, fixing Lizzie’s position in her arms.

“So… you knew all along?” Lois asked in disbelief. She would never expect that.

“I had this conversation with Supergirl even before Lizzie was born and we came to an agreement” Lena replied “she is also smarter than all of us put together, only an idiot would keep her out of this” she smiled at her girl, who blushed at the praise.

“We agreed it was for a greater good and I took that responsibility” J’onn assured vehemently, not caring or fearing what the man of steel would think. It wasn’t his business, much less his job. His job was to be a hero, to fight, save and protect. The DEO was a secret department who had their own rules and always did what was right, even when right didn’t please everyone.

“You can’t just accept for a Luthor to have kryptonite in their hands!” Lois exclaimed “no one should have it in a safe. Clark already explained why.”

“And why should we take his word as an order and do what he says?” Alex gave Lizzie to Kara and turned to Lois “Superman’s word isn’t necessarily the truth, he might be just and carry this whole hero image, but Metropolis and National City are completely different places, Supergirl had regard for science in her choices, and so does this department” Lena observed their body language and breathed deeply, trying to keep calm for her friend “why should we handle him control of everything?” no answer came “Lena isn’t a Luthors, she’s family.”

“Okay, let’s stop arguing about it and solve the problem that we have” Clark stepped in “I don’t know what your intentions are, Kara. I’ve always been told you’re a great judge of character and that you’re smart and fearless, but I honestly can’t see your endgame next to her” he pointed at the CEO “I trust Lena because I trust you because I respect you as a person and as family. I’ll give you my vote of confidence. I really hope you’re right about the results of this because I’d hate to see you heartbroken.”

“I don’t need your vote of confidence, Kal” Kara placed herself in front of Lena, feeling her daughter lie her head on her chest and breathing out “when I needed anything from you, you left…” Kara sighed and lowered her voice, containing so much grudge it was visible in her eyes “I have what I need here, with me, the support I deserve and the family I love. Lena didn’t hide her intentions, she came to ask my permission even though she didn’t have to, only because she knows what kryptonite means to me, to us” she took a deep breath “I’d trust her with my life.”

Clark didn’t know how to respond, he wasn’t expecting weight like that to be thrown on his shoulders. Sure, she felt guilty about not helping the girl when she needed him the most, for not being the family that she wanted, that she dreamed of and missed. But how could he replace the emptiness of a whole planet that he didn’t even remember? He barely knew his people’s culture, their religion, and gods, their wisdom, he didn’t even know his mother’s face. Every time he looked at Kara, a painful truth punched him in the guts. One that screamed at his face that he didn’t deserve what he had because being Superman was easy, the hard job was explaining the meaning of the symbol in his chest. Of course, Clark studied and researched about his origins, he tried to find out more about it, but he never got to live what his parents had in mind for him.

And that fact hurt, though Clark did his best not to think about it. Being called Kal always warmed his heart in a different way.

“Okay, let’s focus on what matters” Lena placed herself in front of the round table and they all put that subject aside. Alex stroked her sister’s back and smiled as she heard her whisper some words in her mother tongue to the sleeping back in her arms “I did some research on the materials that were stolen some months ago. A few of my brother’s personal projects were completely classified, kept in a level of secrecy that not even I can access. My mother probably is aware of them, and only a Luthor, by blood, can open access to some of those documents” Lena explained, taking some papers and placing them on the table “this kind of radiation doesn’t belong to our planet, it was mixed to some heavy metals that we have, but that is extremely sensible.”

“And can you tell us why it was used?” Lois asked.

“To erase traces of induced biological changes” they stared at her as if she was speaking a different language “Kara?”

“Uh… when you cause genetic mutations, it’s marked on the cells, but if you cause a lot of those, or induce it, the next time you look, you won’t know where the mutations begin or end” Kara explained while softly rocking Lizzie “someone probably wanted to test something and needed DNA’s for it, but to erase the traces of that actions, the best thing is to use radiations, we all know the effects of it, the sun in my organism is an example of that” she pointed out “but that’s when the problem comes is.”

“Have you ever tried to take lead radiation out of someone’s body?” Alex asked rhetorically “it can take months, years even and still leave irreversible, catastrophic consequences” they clenched their jaws “there probably isn’t much to do about the metahumans.”

“The truth is that what’s keeping them alive it’s the ball of yellow radiation put in their bodies” Lena gave each of them a paper “I figured out the mixture and its main effects. The human biological material was practically taken off and destroyed in the process, keeping only the memory of what they used to be attached to. That’s why, once they were released, they went straight to the person they loved, or remembered better” each of them analyzed the information in silence, taking mental notes and trying to process what they were hearing.

“Can you figure out a way to save them?” J’onn asked. It was the final question.

“I can do my best to try,” Lena nodded.

“Okay, then let’s suppose that the Luthor figures out a fantastic way out, that doesn’t erase the fact that this whole thing is Lex’s plan, or it was” Lois intervened “I’m not saying it’s your fault, but don’t you find it a bit… strange?”

“Theoretically, only your family has access to it, right?” Superman questioned and Lena nodded “any clue to who it is?”

“To be honest, my lawyers still haven’t found a particular person to accuse” Lena cleared out “we’re in a minucious investigation and as soon as we have more information, the DEO will be the first to know.”

“Maybe in an interview?” Lois gave it another shot.

“No,” she answered dryly.

“Right, so Clark, you nad Supergirl can supervise the mission at the warehouses still in the Luthor-Corp name. You’ll respond to Alex, she’ll be the boss, Lena will get us what we need to get into the necessary places” J’onn commanded and ended that meeting “let’s get to work.”

They agreed and relaxed a little, though the tension was still hanging in the air. Lena caressed Lizzie’s back, kissing her hair and smiling, completely in love with the image of the hero holding such a tiny being. Alex got distracted, reading Ruby’s complaint texts about how they didn’t have Mexican food last week. Ever since her fight with Sam about Maggie, they were taking things slower, more carefully, and attentive. Sam still felt insecure and it wasn’t only about the detective’s return, who Alex hadn’t met again since that day. And for that, she felt thankful. Seeing Maggie again would probably cause her even bigger remorse, she didn’t know how to explain it.

And Alex’s heart still skipped a bit every time the idea of marrying the woman she loved came to mind.

“How are you two?” her sister and sister-in-law approached her “is Ruby okay?”

“Yep, she’s just being a drama queen, not a big deal” they laughed “Sam and I are good,”

“Really?” Lena questioned and touched her shoulder “you know you can tell us anything, right?”

“She proposed,” Alex confessed out of nowhere, smiling like a teenager with a crush. “Sam asked me to marry her and I said yes” her eyes teared up.

“Alex!” Kara exclaimed and soon regretted it, because her daughter woke up startled and began to pout “uh… sorry, Seedy, I didn’t mean to” but that was useless.

Lizzie began crying loudly and requesting her other mother.

“She’s hungry, keep talking and I’ll go look for a calmer place” Lena smiled at them “and Alex, I’m really happy and proud of you” Alex didn’t know how to answer, but her face showed exactly how important Lena’s support was.

Mother and daughter walked away, going deeper into the DEO, Lena trying to calm the baby down with caress and lovely words. Something that wasn’t very efficient most times but that pleased both of them. Lizzie could be sly, spoiled even, but she was warm, she loved hugs, kisses, and physical touch. Being in her mother’s arms was one of her favorite places, like a safe haven, and listening to her mother's heartbeat firsthand always calmed her down. They walked through the hallways for a while, Lena whispering words and Lizzie getting comfortable and enjoying the miraculous silence that surrounded that area. Lena hummed a song that they loved and laughed at Lizzie’s stubborn sobs as if she was trying to show she was still upset.

Lena finally found a room with a couch and sat down, undoing her shirt and giving out her boob to her daughter.

“Am I interrupting?” The sweet but firm voice broke the silence and Lois looked at the two figures present, giving them an awkward smile “sorry…”

“It’s okay, we’re only looking for some peace,” Lena commented. Lois looked at her with so much curiosity that it bothered her a little, but Lena didn’t want to push her away and cause even more stress. Lois looked like she wanted to ask her something “do you want to sit down?”

“May I?” Lena nodded and the couch moved with the new weight, bringing like an odd feeling, to be alone with someone who kept accusing her “she grew so much, I remember when you were just a newborn” Lois whispered to Lizzie.

“Time goes by faster than you think” Lena stroked the baby’s hair “how many months are you?”

“Five months and two weeks,” she gently stroked her belly over her shirt, a little uncertain as to what to say, or feel. Being pregnant was still weird and scary.

“Scared?” Lois nodded, too emotional to put the feeling in the words “I know what that’s like, trust me, or don’t, it’s still scary to face the unknown every morning.”

“I don’t know if I can be a mom, to be honest” Lois chuckled awkwardly “it’s quite the job I’d choose. How did you do it?”

“I’m still trying to figure it out,” Lena chuckled too. “Being a mom isn’t always something you choose, most times it chooses you” Lena hesitated, sharing something she never thought she would. “I was going to put Lizzie up for adoption. but I gave up, right by the end. She’s part of me, part of who I am and am becoming. Being pregnant with a kryptonian isn’t the easiest thing in the world, you don’t know what to expect, but if it wasn’t for Kaar being there for me, maybe today I’d be regretting saying goodbye to my most special person.”

“Clark barely knows what to say when I start screaming hysterically that I want to eat triple than what I can” they looked at each other, and, for the first time, shared a sincere smile “maybe he’s scared too.”

“Heroes also feel fear” she nodded “though I know you don’t like me, if you ever need help, you know where to find me.”

“United by blood, isn’t that right?” she rolled her eyes “thank you, Luthor” she sighed “do you want to know a secret?”

“Does it involve the police?” Lena arched a brow.

“God, no!” Lois exclaimed “well… not this one” they laughed.

“So?”

“Well… if you tell anyone…” Lena rolled her eyes a second time “the truth is that I’m jealous of the strong woman you are, even everything you went through, even with so many people judging you because of your name. That’s why I don’t like you” silence reigned among them, Lena wasn’t expecting that amount of honesty “I hope I’m strong like that someday.”

Lois got up and didn’t look back, leaving the other worse lost in her thoughts. And perhaps surprised to notice not all things were what they seemed to be.

 

***

 

“Lena, where are we going?” Kara asked for the fifth time, making Lena giggle at her nervousness “Lena?”

“Kara, can you just be patient and trust me?” Lena retorted, guiding Kara through a long hallway, holding her hand and making sure she wouldn’t stumble on anything. She was blindfolded.

“Ugh, I can’t wait anymore” she sighed.

“Just a little longer, I promise” she nodded and guided on.

On that Sunday morning, after a long week of work and business at home, Lena organized a whole afternoon just for the two of them. With help from Sam and Alex, Lena could prepare every detail carefully, with tender dedication. Lizzie was still the sly baby as always, requesting attention any time she could and demanding her mother’s presence full time. So, Alex took Kara for breakfast, enjoying that sisterly time to talk about the whole wedding deal. Until now, neither brides had brought the subject up yet, they didn’t talk about venues, parties, dates, or anything related to it. Both were still a bit scared by their last fight and this huge step.

Alex and Sam loved each other, that was a fact, and they wanted to be together forever. But everything was happening all at once, and they decided to just enjoy the emotion of the proposal and spend some time gathering ideas until they met at a common ground for their desires.

Kara hugged her sister tight more times than she could count, so happy that she was fulfilling her dream, even if she was still scared of getting hurt again. Kara trusted Sam, and there was something in her heart telling her her sister would finally get the family she deserved and they could breathe in relief. The morning went by fast, the sisters laughing, chatting, and planning small futures for their lives. It was good to have that family time when the world seemed to spin too fast, faster than what they were able to keep up with. They talked about Ruby, Lizzie, DEO problems, Superman’s increasing presence in their lives, due to the metahumans situation, the knowledge that a Luthor had kryptonite and, most of all the fact that Lois was going to give birth to a half kryptonian baby and how amazing, terrifying and panicking that was.

Lizzie wasn’t going to be the only one anymore. Kara and Clark wouldn’t be the only ones. The house of El was rising again.

As they returned home, the Danvers' sisters found Sam and Lena scattered on the couch while Ruby and Lizzie played on the couch. The two friends enjoyed the ‘alone’ time to catch up and have some best friends time, something that they didn’t have for a long time. Sam vented about her fear of losing Alex to Maggie and how it wasn’t just about their story together. Sam had an emptiness in her heart ever since everything turned upside down, it wasn’t due to lack of love, warmth, or affection, because she had those things. No, this emptiness was there because of the lack of answer from her adoptive mother, because she didn’t know her true origin and still had to deal with post-Reign blackouts. All those worries became a snowball and, as Sam realized her girlfriend still felt something for her ex, her heart turned on defense mode.

Despite the confusion, they moved on, promising to work better on their trust issues, on their insecurities and feelings. Alex wouldn’t give up on the woman she loved so ardently, especially because she didn’t give up on her when Alex was drowning in a sea of pain.

With some sloppy excuse, Lena managed to get Kara out of the apartment, distracting her with some talk about Lizzie’s first Christmas. Kara got excited quickly and, once the car stopped in front of a small bookstore and Lena’s heartbeat got faster, Kara shut her mouth. Lena smiled shyly and asked her to cover her eyes, saying she had a surprise for them. Of course, Kara didn’t even think of not obeying, but her curiosity reached spectacular levels in just ten minutes while the car drove further. She asked every minute about where they were, where they were going, what was the surprise if she could give her a clue, and where Lizzie would be if not with them.

“Lizzie is with Alex and Sam” Lena answered that question “they need to practice for the future.”

“Uh… do you think they’ll want more children? I mean… Ruby is already grown up…” Kara held her girlfriend’s hands tight “are we here?”

“Well, I don’t know, but I think your sister is going to consider it,” Lena shrugged. “we’re here.”

The lock’s noise echoed through the place and Kara tried to pay attention to everything, though she had promised Lena she wouldn’t cheat. But it turns out she was dating a Luthor, and the fold in her eyes was drenched in a lead mixture, which meant Kara couldn’t see even if she tried.

“Ready?” Kara nodded and exhaled “and… surprise!”

Once she was set free, Kara’s mouth fell open in a perfect gap O and her eyes teared up with the sight. It was her old apartment, her old home, where she had spent most of her adult life, where she had found out so much about herself, about her strength and destiny, and where she had shared so many good memories with her sister and friends. But when Kara decided to move in with Lena, she covered all the furniture in white sheets, emptied the drawers, the kitchen, and took what she could to the penthouse, trying to make it look a little more like her and a little less like Lena, after all, that was going to be their home for a while. But now, the furniture wasn’t covered anymore, there wasn’t one grain of dust, the kitchen had been supplied and some details were changed.

But that was her place, her home. And Kara had no idea how much she missed being there.

“Lena… I d-don’t…” she sighed “how did you do it?”

“Let’s just say I still have the keys and I wanted to make something special for you” Lena smiled, intertwining their hands “I know how much you like it here.”

“Yeah…” she panted “I never thought I’d be back, not that I don’t like our house and not that I want to leave, uh… I just missed it, maybe a lot, but I never thought I’d come back here again since…”

“Breath, darling” they smiled and Kara blushed hard “I get how you feel because I miss the life I had before too. That’s why we’re here, to be just me and you, how we began” Kara’s smile widened, her heart pounding in her chest and eyes glowing.

It would be almost like two years ago.

“I bought everything you like and the tv is working” Lena suggested, “why don’t you pick a movie while I make popcorn?”

“Right!” Kara rushed to the living room. That couch, she thought to herself. It was still the same couch “are you going to take long?” Kara called after ten minutes.

“No, I… Kara!” her body was carried before she could even finish the sentence “what have I told you about using superspeed inside?”

“My house, my rules, Luthor” Kara winked, using her power again to bring her girlfriend to the couch and bring the popcorn after, all in less than five seconds.

“Which movie did you pick?” Lena took off her heels, throwing them aside and undoing her ponytail. Kara pressed play and pulled her closer, putting the blanket over them and the popcorn pot between her arms.

“Miss Congeniality” Kara answered, her mouth full of popcorn “I really like this movie.” Lena laughed and rolled her eyes.

“Finish chewing.”

They remained in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the proximity, listening to the winter rain fall outside, and getting comfortable with each other. It was like going back to the past, a time when they did that every game or movie night when they didn’t know how grand their love was or when they were still too scared to confess their feelings. Kara would use the time as an excuse and say it was too late to go home, that she didn’t want Lena to be alone. And Lena would say yes because her pout was too cute to ignore because her smile as she said yes was worth it and maybe because falling asleep on the couch with her and then being carried to be was everything Lena needed sometimes.

While Grace Hart was completely transformed to join the contest for Miss America, Kara observed how Lena had changed the past months. She was still the most intimidating CEO in town, the same pageantry, the same unshaken posture. But she was calmer, perhaps lighter and braver. Kara couldn’t put a finger on it. All she knew was that she loved her a lot more than she did yesterday and a lot less than what she was going to tomorrow. In her memory, Kara could perfectly see the day she had met her, how nervous she was to finally face the powerful Lena Luthor, sister of the infamous Lex Luthor, the man responsible for almost ending her cousin’s life. Kara remembered the time she saved her when she was there for her and defended her from everyone and everything. And then Kara realized something that was implicit since the first time Kara put her eyes on Lena.

Her heart always belonged to her. Irrevocably.

“What?” Lena questioned, realizing Kara was staring.

“I was just remembering some stuff” she murmured, “do you remember the first time you came here?”

“And how could I remember the first time I arrived at your apartment and found a redhead standing in front of me?” Kara snorted at Lena’s dryness“I wouldn’t stand a chance if I had to compete against your sister.”

“Good thing she’s my sister then” they laughed “I always liked when you showed up unannounced, you always made my day better.”

“You were my safety and still are,” Lena exposed tenderly, kissing her blushing cheeks. “I knew you’d always protect me and it was easier to deal with anything when you were by my side.”

“Like when you came to talk about Jack?” Kara asked carefully, seeing her eyes reflect a shade of sadness “uh… sorry…”

“Actually, I don’t really know what I wanted when I told you about him” Lena sighed “Jack and I were best friends that fell in love and we spent a lot of time with each other and I liked him a lot, just not enough to leave what I wanted behind and accept that proposal” she confessed.

“I remember how you used to look at him…” Kara said, bittersweet, perhaps still jealous “you’d be with Jack if he had survived.”

“Maybe, maybe not,” Lena shrugged. “It's like I told you, he was kryptonite and that isn’t a good thing. It’s something that hurts you and keeps you locked in a different way.”

“Mon-El was the same to me” Kara admitted “my kryptonite, figuratively speaking of course, because well… uh… you know” she nodded “he was so upset and confused about how I chased after you that dinner.”

“I told you you didn’t need to rescue me,” she joked.

“I wanted to get you out of there and make sure you’d never see him again” Kaar confessed, “because the idea of you liking someone really messed with me.”

“Can I tell you the truth?” she nodded “I was expecting you to show up there.”

“You were?” Kara was surprised “I was jealous of what Jack could have and so cared that you started dating him I’d lose my alone time with you. I’m selfish, I know because I was dating at the time and didn’t want to share you with anyone despite that, but I…” she sighed “I don’t like that… anyways… I felt so guilty after you had to save me from those nanobots.”

“Love is sacrifice” Lena replied “I felt awful when you had to send Mon-El away. I know how you feel.”

“But I didn’t love him,” Kara answered quickly.

“And I didn’t love Jack” they looked at each other “not in the way I love you.”

“You know, I like being here, remembering the movie nights, our talks and how I’d burn every cake recipe” she smiled “but it doesn’t do to me what I used to, like… I feel happy I lived all that, but…”

“But life moved on, Kara” Lena murmured, “it’s incomplete to be here because there’s a piece missing from both of us.”

“Lizzie” the memory of her little baby made Kara’s heart skip and beat and she heard Lena’s heart do the same “I wouldn’t trade her for the world, I like what we have and I like to know we have a daughter.”

“She’ll be nine months in a couple of weeks, and will only get worse than she already is,” Lena said maliciously, turning around and closing the space between their bodies. Kara smirked and grabbed her by the waist, caressing the exposed skin and sending shivers through her spine.

“And what are you suggesting?” Kara whispered, hopeful, using the proximity to bite on her earlobe, going down her neck and climbing up to her jaw.

Lena breathed heavily, her body quickly responding and her temperature rising up. They got lost in the urgent kiss, the movie forgot in the background, as usual. Kara’s hands went up under Lena’s white shirt, coming and going, warm fingers on the cold skin. She always enjoyed the feeling of her girlfriend’s body on hers, how they fit way together but looked nothing alike. They stopped to breathe and her lips were red by the strength of the action, but neither of them minded. Lena leaned down slowly again, taking her time to break it again, and once she did, she bit her lips and pulled on them, hearing Kara whimper quietly.

“Do you want to see the second part of the surprise?” her voice sounded hoarse.

Oh, Rao, and how she wanted.

They got up from the sofa and made their way to the bedroom. The memories were everywhere, written in the walls, the furniture, the apartment’s smell, and in every room that remained intact. Lena opened the door and Kara realized that, though every shelf, closet, and object was still there, the bed had changed. Sure, after moving out, Kara didn’t dare to sell or give her things to charity, after all, her situation with Lena was chaotic and she could be kicked out at any given time, so she kept most of her belongings. But the bed was something she sold for a very low price, mattresses got old quickly and hers was pretty old already.

The ambient was drowned in darkness and the winter’s freezing breeze flew in through the window’s breaches behind the blackout curtain that Kara was sure was not hers. Once Lena turned on the lights, the room turned red and hot.

Red light lamps.

Kara turned to Lena fast, her face still confused and her body already feeling the lack of sun. Her powers decreased gradually, making her more human.

“I want you without your powers,” Lena said, closing the door and kissing her slowly “and I want you without those clothes.”

Kara kissed her back desperately and was starving for what was coming next. Lena was pressed against the door, whispering with anticipation and the pulsing in her sex getting more and more unbearable. Their tongues mixed, and Kara wasn't so willing to give out control. However, without her usual strength, Lena managed to invert positions, now putting her against the wall and holding her wrists above her head. Kara smirked, loving the feeling of being able to fight over control at the same level. She whimpered between thirty kisses over her skin. Sure she was going to leave marks for the first time in her life. And that surely ruined her underwear.

“Take off your clothes” Lena groaned, missing her body on hers.

Kara’s trembling fingers undid the shirt in a clumsy rush. She threw the cloth far away, same went for her bra and pants. Lena interrupted her before she could take off the last part, taking her time to admire the god-like figure that was the kryptonian. Lena would never get tired of it, of seeing her, of ravishing her with her eyes, of knowing that Kara Danvers was hers, not in a literal way, but the sentiment way, from the heart. She was gorgeous, her boobs perfectly proportional to her body and every muscle tarnished. Lena stepped close again and took a nipple in her lips, licking and sucking without warning, hearing her girlfriend moan from the action.

She lowered her hands down her abs, remembering the image of her in that bikini some time ago, and she finally reached the panties tissue. It was completely drenched, overall ruined.

“God, Kara!” Lena panted, moving two fingers over her entrancing, going up and down and pressing right on the sweet spot, still over the cloth.

“It’s your fault…” the words barely came out, her legs were shaking “Lena…”

“Shh…” Lena kissed her again “I know what you want but you’re going to have to obey me for now, okay?” her fingers continued the motion over her cunt, making her brain shut off.

“O-okay…”

“Take that off and lie on the bed” Lena ordered and stepped back, noticing Kara’s eyes almost tear up as she didn’t get what she wanted “it’ll be worth it.”

Kara obeyed and got naked, lying on the mattress and waiting for Lena to join her. Who, by the way, was still fully dressed, her white shirt out of her skirt and bare feet, but still covered, which Kara did not appreciate.

Lena joined in and laid over her lips meeting again with fury, urgent passion. They lost themselves there for a minute, Lena pressing her boobs and pinching her nipples between her knuckles. It was like throwing alcohol on fire, like being taken to the third heaven in a blink of an eye. Kara wrapped her legs around her waist, desperate for some relief in her cunt, any kind of relief. She was on the brink of exploding with need and she wanted to take her girlfriend out of all those clothes. Rao, why did it have to be like this? Why did she have to love that woman so much?

She moaned again, this time coming out almost like a painful beg. She needed to come or else she would end up combusting right there.

“Lena… please” she begged in a whisper and Lena stared at her, the green in her eyes almost fully covered by the dilated pupil.

“I want you to touch yourself for me, like you do in the shower” she ordered firmly, getting Kara by surprise “I know what you do, thinking of me, and I want to see it again.”

“I… Lena…” Kara lost it but Lena didn’t give her any time to think, quickly bringing her back in another sloppy kiss.

She moved away again but still remained in between Kara’s legs, keeping a safe distance enough for her emotional well-being and self-control. Kara breathed out loudly, her chest going up and down, her heart beating so strong it could break her rib cage. It was a new kind of feeling. Desire, need, anxiety and guilt. She never thought Lena knew about her actions in the shower, but the thought of masturbating with her girlfriend watching made her wet beyond belief and Kara wanted to show her everything she caused to her body, even when she didn’t touch her. Kara wanted Lena to see, she wanted her mouth to water, she wanted to see her lose control and give up on the hellish game they were playing now.

If Lena wanted control, Kara would give her the best for it.

She widened her legs, giving her full vision of her cunt, and smirked as she realized Lena had lost her trail of thought. A smirk of excitement and vindication. Still looking at Lena, Kara brought two fingers to her mouth and sucked on them as if they were delicious candy. She lowered her hands slowly through her breasts, pinching her nipples and moaning intentionally loud, almost as if a pornographic scene Lena maybe would regret it or perhaps would get addicted to the sound echoing on the walls, shamelessly exposing their actions. Kara caressed her stomach, going up and down, noting her Lena’s breath hitched with every touch. Kara arched her body until she finally arrived where she could make Lena lose what was left of her sanity.

Kara sat up quickly and raised her fingers so Lena could suck on them, feeling a little bit of her taste, that was starting to glue on her body. Lena held her hand and gave her best, freeing her to lie down again and slip the same fingers through her folds, dampening them in the same liquid that now stained the sheets. Kara panted and moaned, while circling her clit, pressing on it harder and provoking herself at motions to push them in. Her chest went up and down fast, making Kara lose track of her needs, just desperate for relief. She pushed two fingers in and couldn’t contain the animalistic noise, pressing her boob with the free hand.

Lena whimpered with her, breathing heavily and leaning forwards to get on top of her girlfriend, kissing her hungrily, taking her breath away. Kata let her mouth be invaded, showing the submission and obedience that Lena asked.

“I’ll help you” Lena whispered in her lips.

She joined her hand and helped her masturbate, hands moving at the same time.

“Is this how you think of me in the shower?” she questioned, Kara, nodded.

“Y-yes… oh, yes… Lena…” she was choking on words.

“And what do you think of?” Kara didn’t answer, she was so close, so close “Kara?”

“You eat me out, touching me… L-lena, please…” she whimpered and Lena gave in

She moved both hands away, even Kara’s, and Kara almost cried of despair. A low noise flooded the hot room and that awakened Kara’s curiosity again. Lena placed herself between her legs and, without any warning, a cold metallic object entered her hot cunt, making her body arch in surprise and desire.

“Rao! Lena… what… oh Rao, what is this?” her limbs trembled and she cried out.

“Just relax” Lena commanded, while putting her hair behind and lowering her lips to drink every drop of her.

Kara arched her body again as she felt her mouth on her give it a whole new sensation, increasing her euphoria in a level to the edge of imploding. The vibrators continued to go in and out and Lena ate her out slowly, opening her labia with her free hand. It was intense, hot and Kara had never been so close to losing her senses like now. She screamed, holding on to her dark and humid her, as she felt every inch of herself raise a white flag for what was to follow. The red light lamps made her more sensible and susceptible to any emotion in her soul. Kara could give in without fearing hurting Lena, without the fear of moving just a little wrong and then breaking someone.

“Lena, Lena… please... Lena!” the spasms took over her legs and Lena knew she was close.

When she heard a moan drag on, Kara choking on her own voice and orgasm following, Lena felt her climax gush on her face, staining her shirt and almost pushing her over the edge as well. Kara tumbled on the bed, panting, unable to regain her breath, only listening to the white noise, gradually decreasing. Her body was still shaking with involuntary spasms and she could barely open her eyes, sweat streaming down her body for the first time, the pain taking over her muscles and the feeling of weakness reaching every cell in her body.

The mattress sank down next to her and it took a while until Kara could pronounce any coherent word.

“Lena…” she sighed and Lena looked at her. Her hair stuck to the sweaty face “turn off the lights, now.”

And her body immediately reacted to that command. It was time to turn the game around.

As soon as the room went dark again, Kara felt her powers come back to her and the tiredness turned into energy, strength, and will to fuck her until she lost every drop of sanity.

Using super speed, she lifted her girlfriend up and placed her on her lap, pulling her for a shamelessly intense kiss, tasting herself in her mouth. Lena whimpered, yielded, letting the feelings carry her away, willing to do whatever Kara asked of her. She moved her hips over her thighs, now clean from any trace of sweat, and grabbed on the blonde hair, listening to her moan in her mouth. Kara grabbed her shirt and snapped the buttons without any hesitation. God! How was that so sexy? Lena didn’t know, but she wanted more, so much more. She wanted Kara to press on her hard, to suck on her with need and make her scream until her throat was sore. Her desire was rising with every second, every inch of her begging for more.

Her shirt and bra were thrown onto the pile of clothes on the floor and Lena found herself only in the skirt, which kept her from moving properly.

Kara trailed her lips down her neck, making sure to mark every inch of her body, showing she loved her, adoring her body and heart. Her breasts were pressed on gently, too sensitive from breastfeeding and painful from being full. Her carefulness to not hurt her was going to make Lena cry at any moment, no one had ever cared for her like that. Her fingers traced the pale skin of her waist, gently stroking every stretch mark that had appeared there since her pregnancy and that was when Lena realized that they didn’t make a difference, any. Kara still wanted her, she still found her attractive as always. Her thoughts were pushed away as she felt the hot tongue contour her erect nipple.

“Kara…” she panted, closing her eyes, still holding on to her hair.

“You’re beautiful, Lena, the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen” she whispered every word tenderly “so good…”

“K-kara… please” she whimpered, begging.

“I need you to lift up a little” Lena groaned but obeyed. A fast breeze flew on her and soon Kara was back, barely giving her time to process that action.

Kara was in front of her, kneeling down, and Lena noticed the new addiction, a dark strap, wrapped around Kara’s waist. She cocked a brow and her cunt throbbed in excitement and anxiety. They kissed again, Kara pulling on her hair, causing the good pain and breasts rubbing in one another, leaving her underwear wetter and wetter. They broke apart and Lena could only see the desire in her eyes, and she was ready for anything. Truly, anything. She smirked and leaned down, facing the strap right before her eyes.

She licked her lips before putting it in her mouth and licking the whole extension, moving slowly enough to cause friction in Kara’s sex. She sucked on it, going up and down and then increasing the pace, always looking up. That was the most sexual they had ever gotten together, crossing every line they had drawn and giving each other the certainty that they belonged to each other. That they desired each other to the point of getting lost in that feeling. Lena felt her own wetness stream down her thighs at every whimper from her girlfriend, pulling her hair harder and making her take more, go deeper. But then she was pulled up and their lips clashed in need.

“I want you on top of me” Kara wasn’t asking.

She lied down diagonally, leaning on the headboard and observing Lena crawl to her lap again.

“I can’t move in this skirt” Lena complained since her girlfriend didn’t seem to move to take it off.

“I want to fuck you like this” she confessed and her face flushed, causing a funny contrast.

God, how could she be so dirty and innocent at the same time?

Lena exhaled and felt her skirt be torn on the sides, opening up almost completely.

“Kara!” she gasped and Kara smiled, more than happy about it” are you going to rip all my clothes?”

“Yep” she kissed her “now sit here” she pointed to her lap and Lena bit her lips.

She pulled the ruined skirt up and moved the panties aside. Maybe Kara’s fantasy was exactly that, to see her riding her semi-naked. As she sank down slowly on the strap, she could barely contain a scream and held onto the headboard. Her legs trembled and all her body protested at the lack of movement. They waited until Lena’s body got used to the feeling, the toy was deep inside her, touching her inner walls and driving her to ecstasy. Kara held her waist and encouraged her to move slowly, never hurting her.

Lena went back to collide their lips while moving up and down in her lap. The whole extension of the strap shining with her liquid, easily sliding in and out of her.

“Kara, holy shit, yes…” she was on the brink of melting “Kara… you’re… you’re so good…”

“Move for me, baby” she pressed on her arms, marking it red and Lena let out a painful whimper.

She began riding with urgency, her body warning her that it wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer. Her senses were a mess, her brain unable to form any kind of coherent thought. All she could do was repeat Kara’s name over and over again, slowly losing strength to continue and her thighs hurting from the repetitive movement. Kara took advantage of that position and circled her clit, increasing her pleasure and almost driving herself over the edge. As she noticed her girlfriend was about to give in, Kara inverted their positions and put her under her, lying her on the bed and now taking control of the movement to fuck her hard.

“Kara, Kara… please…” she closed her eyes and it all disappeared. All her thoughts, past, future, and present.

There was nothing else, just that feeling of levitation.

She screamed one last time and her muscles melted on the inside, it took all of her focus to keep breathing. Kara leaned on her arms, trying not to fall on Lena and keeping a safe distance. Lena’s eyes remained closed, her cheeks were red and her forehead gleaming in sweat. They stayed in that position until Kara, slowly and carefully, moved out of her, taking off the strap and then lying down again. Still silent, she finished ripping Lena's clothes and threw them aside. Lena sighed tired, sleep barging in and claiming her energy.

“Come here” Kara whispered, pulling her body closer to hers, trying to keep her warm “sleep, Lena. I’m here…”

“Hm…” she breathed out, and hugged her, head on her neck “I love you” she whispered before her conscience slipped away.

“I love you too.”

 

***

 

Lena woke up and her eyes faced the room’s darkness. A heavy blanket covering her, the body still naked, but Kara wasn’t on her side anymore. She searched for her phone and once she checked the time, she sat up quickly and all of her muscles complained of the motions. She was going to be aching for a long time now. Her heart racing as she realized she should've picked Lizzie up over an hour ago. Shit, she had overslept and had no idea where Kara was, what if she had left to save someone?

However, the door quietly opened up and the sight of the woman holding an excited baby made her calm down. Lizzie was babbling something in her mysterious language and moving in her yeyu’s arms, trying to reach for her glasses. Which Kara couldn’t give her any more, now that the baby could break anything she touched. Lena leaned over the pillow, breathing slower and smiling at the two people she loved the most in the world. Kara turned the bedside lamp on, the soft yellow glow lightening the whole room, and placed her daughter on the bed, she quickly turned over, belly on the mattress. Their eyes met and they said hello in silence, accomplice and in love.

“Did you get some rest?” she nodded “I picked up Lizzie after I put out a fire” Kara’s eyes widened as she noticed the double meaning, and, of course, Lena laughed at her innocence “Rao! I’m not… er, referring to you, or…”

“And you wouldn’t be lying if you were, darling” Lena picked the baby up and, since she was naked, the girl wasted no time and went for her breast. Always hungry “Ouch… Liz, take it easy…” she mumbled, fixing the baby’s position and sitting up “It’s still hurting from the last mouth that was there” Kara groaned at her lack of shame and covered her face with her pillow.

“Ugh, Lena… why do you have to say those things?” Kara sighed.

“Because I like seeing the red on your cheeks” Lena pinched the pink cheeks and watched her smile shyly “I’m hungry…”

“I bought us snacks” Kara informed proud and Lizzie let go of her mother’s breast, very interested in that information “seedy, I brought your favorite cookie!”

“Which also happens to be your favorite too” Lena pointed out smugly and arched a brow “can you get me some clothes, please?”

Kara promptly obeyed and Lena put on one of Kara’s old clothes, a sweatpant, and an overly large shirt from a California basketball team. They headed to the kitchen and set the tab;e together, sitting Lizzie in the chair Lena had specifically bought for that apartment and so they ate. The conversation flowed calmly, Kara telling her about Clark’s new leads, news from Lois’s pregnancy, Alex’s future wedding, and her plans at CatCo. Lizzie made a mess with the sugar on top of the cookie, remains of cookie mixed with spit falling on the little table and her face didn’t have one clean spot anymore. She was only in a diaper and socks, a little pink lace tying her dark hair back, which had grown a lot the past days.

As they finished the snacks, they moved to the living room carpet, placing some toys on it and watching the baby worm on it.

“Liz, baby, come here to mommy” Lena called her and the baby looked at her with bright curious blue eyes “come on, you can do you” she moved her hands.

“Look here at you yeyu” Kara sat next to her girlfriend, both at a small, but a considerable distance from their daughter “look at the duck, come get it!”

Lizzie got thoughtful, but she was being challenged. And she was Luthor, after all. Lizzie let out an excited scream, followed by a joyful laugh, and her legs kicked on air, her flabby belly rubbing on the plush carpet. Her strong arms bolstered on the floor and her hands grabbed the carpet under her, impulsing her ahead and dragging her a little to the side.

“Get up, baby” Lena encouraged “you can do it!”

Lizzie repeated the pulling and dragging movement, slowly lifting her leg and falling on the carpet. That was when she understood the process and her brain analyzed the whole situation. Once again, her hands flattened on the floor and she raised her body, this time firmly placing one knee next to the other. The girl laughed in excitement and looked over to the window, where the rain began to hit softly again, making that sound that always helped her sleep in the afternoon. Her body came and went as if rocking and Kara called her again.

“Look at the little duck, Liz!” Kara squeezed the rubber duck, making it sound like a squeaky quack. Lizzie laughed again and gathered the courage she needed, crawling to her mothers for the first time.

“Very good!” Lena praised, clapping to the baby, picking her up as soon as she reached the duck “who’s the prettiest girl in the world, huh?”

“The prettiest, coolest and smartest” Kara reinforced, kissing her cheeks and tickling her belly.

Lizzie clapped, mimicking her mother and letting the rubber duck fall, now focusing on another object and leaving her mother’s arms to crawl to her goal.

And perhaps, at the end of the day, that apartment collected a new memory.”

 

***

 

“Kara, I hope you’re leaving CatCo to go home and get everything ready” Lena threatened on the phone “I’m heading to the pet shop to pick up Agnes and I want you two showered and clean when I come back from L-Corp.”

“Uh…” Kara didn’t pay much attention, per usual.

In fact, she was trying to find where Lizzie had hidden.

The idea of bringing her daughter to work worked a lot better when Lizzie didn’t know how to crawl or move on her own, nor with help. Now Lizzie was like a little race car, crying loud when Kara tried to put her on her chair, throwing a tantrum and all her toys on the floor. All James asked of her was to keep Lizzie away from the other interns and journalists, because it was a busy, ever-moving place and the baby could get hurt or lost. The problem was that Snapper hadn’t agreed on anything about the idea of Danvers bringing a baby to work, so he drowned her in articles, asking her to go out many times a day for interviews.

The mess began when Kara asked Eve to take care of her and Lizzie went missing.

“Kara?” Lena called her from the other line “Kara are you listening to me?”

Fuck.

“Oh Rao, I sweat I’ll eat kale for lunch, but please help me” Kara prayed, forgetting the other woman could listen.

“Kara Danvers, have you lost our daughter again?” That got a hold of her attention

“Found you!” Kara squeaked excited, seeing the baby under the table where front covers for the next edition were being chosen “uh… me? No! Of course not…” she scoffed “I… w-we… were just playing hide and seek…”

Lena arched a brow, Kara could feel it in her guts.

“Lizzie is just nine months old, she doesn’t even know how to speak yet” Lena cut it “Kara, I have a meeting in half an hour, please, be home when I come back.”

“Trust me, everything is going to be just like you asked” Kara reassured.

But once Lena got home, nothing was ‘just like she asked’.

Agnes ran to the living room, licking Kara’s face and then knocking the baby onto the pillows scattered around the floor. Winnie the Pooh was saying something to his best friend on the tv and Lizzie barely blinked, paying attention to what was going to happen. However, Lena’s panic began when she realized both of them were in pajamas, face dirty with chocolate, and far from ready for L-Corp’s annual Christmas Ball. Kara was holding a chocolate bar in her hands and her daughter had a smaller one, without lactose and sugar, since the girl was still too young to eat those things. Lena closed her eyes and counted to ten, taking a deep breath.

Very deep breathes.

“Kara and Lizzie Zor-El are you doing what I think you’re doing” Kara turned around slowly, shrinking her shoulders and internally praying she hadn’t missed the time.

Oh, Rao. She was going to die. Dead.

“I thought I’d made myself clear earlier.”

“Uh…” Kara swallowed dry, hearing Seedy laugh at the television “we wanted to watch the cartoon.”

Lena sighed. Why did it have to be like that? Why two children?

She turned the tv down and grabbed the pillows, it didn’t take long for Lizzie to get upset and tear up, crying aloud. Great, that was everything she needed.

 

“I want you two in the bath taking a shower now while I get your clothes” Lena ordered and Kara jumped up, carrying her daughter to the bathroom, taking her clothes off on the way there “we have forty minutes before the hairdresser arrives, got it?” Lena screamed from the kitchen.

No answer came. She ignored that, filling Agnes’s pot with food and petting her ears before heading to the bathroom. As she opened the door, Lena found Kara facing her daughter, inside the bathtub, Lizzie was laughing at her yeyu singing silly pop songs, moving a rubber sigh and duck underwater, making funny faces, and splashing water. It was such a simple sight that soon Lena forgot why she was in such a rush.

 

***

 

L-Corp’s annual event was always well frequented, welcoming foreign businessmen and investors that took some hours by plane for a good business opportunity. The employees moved quickly and the waiters kept all guests well served and fed, as the band played a low, soft song, something that wouldn’t disturb conversations. During the last couple of months, Sam and Lena organized all the details, carefully and attentively, not missing anyone important, making sure rivals would be separated, and picking the perfect buffet. Alex helped Kara take care of Lizzie when she needed it since Eliza was escalated to help Lena out in the project and in her speech for that night.

Being a hero that dates a Luthor was the hardest job Kara had ever gone through in the past weeks. Lizzie would climb everything she’d see: couches, chairs, small tables, the toilet, and the living room’s low shelf. She’d also scatter her toys and food around everywhere she went, chasing after Agnes and even trying to taste her food, inside the dog’s pot. One day, Kara found Lizzie sleeping next to the dog on her bed, in the laundry room, which ended up in the cutest photograph and a good shower. Dealing with CatCo was also driving Kara insane, Snapper only threw more work into her shoulders, not giving her any break to breathe or argue. Eve then became Kara’s right-hand woman there, always willing to take care of the baby when Kara would vanish to take care of the city’s troubles, though she didn’t know the truth.

May Lena never find out about it, Kara would pray to Rao.

The photographers were camera-ready, sending flashes in every direction, as were the reporters trying to sneak in, but only the hired press with identification cards could get in. It was all cooly calculated, every detail analyzed and, now, it all came to wait for L-Corp's grand announcement: L-Corp’s new acquisition.

Sam helped her friend greet the Metropolis tycoons since they were more affiliated to her brother, Lex than Lena herself. Some were against her management of the company, only were simply waiting to see her fall in her own disgrace.

“Where is Kara?” Alex questioned, approaching Lena.

“Keeping Lizzie safe and clean, I hope,” she replied.

“Hey!” Kara showed up, her hands filled with potstickers, smiling like a little kid. Her hair was tied in a high bun and her body was surrounded by a red dress that was probably more expensive than her apartment.

“Where is Lizzie?” Lena and Alex asked at once.

“Uh… Winn has her, right there” she pointed at the table “Eve is also there” they studied Winn’s interaction with the woman, him saying something and she shyly laughing “by the way, I think they’re into each other…”

“Pst, you think?” Alex asked ironically “look at the way Eve is laughing at anything he says! His jokes aren’t even that funny!”

“Love looks like this, Sam’s jokes also aren’t funny and you laugh at all of those” Lena shrugged, making the agent blush “Kara, you have to keep Lizzie clean until photoshoot time and, please, don’t drop food on your dress.”

“Okay” she nodded “is your speech now?”

Lena looked at the time and soon James appeared by her side, dressing in a navy blue suit and looking a little nervous. Two of his fingers were covered in bandages and stuck to a splint. Maybe, just maybe, Lizzie had broken them four days ago. And maybe she was trying to do it again.

“They’re calling us, shall we?” James offered his arm.

“Of course” she didn’t take the arm “will you be fine?” Lena whispered, kissing her girlfriend.

“Absolutely, get up there and rock it” Kara encouraged “I’ll be here, cheering for you, always.”

“Lena, Eliza will be there with you too and I wait at the other side” Sam appeared and pulled the Luthor with her, followed by James.

Everyone there waited to know about L-Corp's new projects and programs, where they could invest and profit double the money. They were all aware of the CEO’s recent purchase, they just didn’t know, yet, what it was. Lena stepped up the steps to the stand and placed herself behind the microphone, getting all eyes on her with a good evening. Eliza Danvers stood on her right side and James Olsen on the left, both waiting for Lena to begin her speech. Eliza approached her and whispered calming words in her eyes, diminishing a bit of Lena’s anxiety. In front of her, people stared from their tables, hands holding champagne glasses and scotch doses. But Lena’s eyes fell over to the only person that mattered.

A smiley blonde, holding a little baby in a fancy dress, specially designed for her. Both Kara and Lizzie smiled at her, giving Lena all the courage that she needed.

And then it all happened in a blink of an eye.

Before Lena could say anything, an explosion on both side doors of the venue pushed the buffet table to the floor, breaking all the plates and making the waiters scream. Suddenly, armed figures entered the place and, behind them, stood a few men with fluorescent yellow chests. The guests got up, not knowing how to react or what to do.

Chaos was about to begin and Lena knew life would always charge her expensively for happiness.

Notes:

Don't forget to leave kudos and comments!

Love you all!

Chapter 30: I love you enough to let you go

Notes:

I apologize in advance

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Most times, the price of happiness is expensive, especially for those afraid of it. And it charges in loss.

 

Lena, during some years of her life, not to say throughout it, never feared it, or even thought about being happy. Sure, it’s normal for kids to grow up and believe in different variations of happiness, love, and care. And Lena, for sure, had a perception of it when she had her biological mom next to her. In her heart, happiness was just a consequence of waking up, having breakfast, and waiting for the day to start. It wasn’t a choice or a job, it was an act of belief. And so it was for four years and when it all fell apart, the girl with crystal green eyes learned that everything in life comes with a price and if she wasn’t strong enough, she’d end up dying in psychological debt with herself.

 

So, Lena began putting up walls that mainly functioned as protection fortresses. No one came in without her permission, and if she ever allowed it, soon she’d feel frustrated by it because it was something she knew how to deal with, the frustration, the pain, and fear. What she didn’t know how to handle was someone caring about her and asking for nothing in return, a hug without intentions of stabbing her back, or worrying her about secondary reasons. When Kara Danvers walked into her life, bringing that positivity, a radiant smile, and a new point of view toward life, Lena caught herself breaking her walls down without even thinking of the consequences. Nothing comes for free, was what Lionel used to say.

 

No one wants your well-being if you don’t want theirs in return. The world doesn’t move on free, utopic empathy that so many people preach. But Lena wanted to believe that the shy, funny CatCo reporter would be different.

 

And, yes, Kara was different. She was amazing. Extraordinary.

 

And the price of allowing herself to feel, to live and be happy, and let her soul get used to such an intense feeling as love, was going to cost Lena everything. Absolutely everything. Lena was ready for it, to leave it all and go with the feeling that she did the right thing for her family. She would miss her, maybe? Lena didn’t know what to expect when it came to a difficult decision like that. Deep down, she was probably going to miss her in a different kind of way, maybe Lena would just daydream about what could have been if she had paid more attention. And it was her fault after all, wasn’t it? Right from the start, Lena should’ve pushed Kara away, the woman who could make her day better in a matter of seconds. It was her fault. She could have left, gone back to Metropolis, asked Jess to never let Kara step foot into L-Corp again, and, maybe, who knows, Lena wouldn’t have even been kidnapped by the Daxamites.

 

But who would have predicted that future? Why did they expect Lena to have control of it all?

 

Well, some people say that life is just for those who are just. And others claim that justice should be done by their own hands. At that moment, Lena just wanted her life back.

 

Every following movement happened too fast and though Lena knew she only had a few seconds to react, her head processed it in slow motion. Her first thought went to Lizzie and then what she’d do to get to her. The action took place only at the third explosion, one that opened a giant hole at the main entrance. A cold hand grabbed her arm and pulled her back, as Lena looked at the crowd again, she noticed Kara wasn’t there anymore. Eliza’s firm but careful touch continued to guide her and Lena now couldn’t understand why she wasn’t panicking. Maybe because she already knew how it would end, or maybe because she had been raised to only feel that bothersome numbness in her chest.

 

They went down the stairs quickly, Alex left the table fast and took Winn and Eve to the small stand assembled in the venue, hiding behind it. Sam was missing and James was helping escort the guests out. Lena heard Alex inform someone of the attack. Fortunately, or not, J’onn already had the DEO prepared for any situation at the ball. Lena laughed at herself, realizing that her life had become a sequence of following attacks and exploding bombs. Lilian truly was uncreative, she criticized mentally. As they dodged the running people coming from the kitchen, they finally arrived at the private room, where Kara was standing with a baby in her arms. Lizzie was scared, hiding her face in her mother’s chest. The shots being fired echoed loud and the walls shook with the impact. The screams were loud and all Lena wanted was for it to be over.

 

“Kara, go help the others, I’ll stay with Lena,” Eliza said as soon as the door was closed.

 

“Don’t leave here, I’ll ask James to come and I’m going to look for Reign” Kara handed Lizzie to Lena and kissed her forehead “promise you’ll wait for me.”

 

“Go before somebody gets hurt” was all Lena managed to say. She wasn’t going to promise anything, she was going to break all the promises she had already made.

 

Supergirl was ready in a matter of seconds and was asking where the others were. Before leaving, she kissed Lena and studied her face, her eyes almost begging for something but as if she didn’t know what to say. The muffled noise made every minute of waiting scarier and soon the sound of Lena’s phone vibrating flooded the room. She balanced her daughter in one arm and grabbed her phone, her body tensing up and her mind getting cold as she read the new message. Eliza, as if sensing her intentions, observed her reaction, a bit frightened. Eliza wasn’t stupid, she had lived with her daughter-in-law long enough to understand her mind. But she had no power over her, and even if she did, Eliza wouldn’t use it. Lena had to make her own decisions and deal with the consequences of it.

 

“You know you don’t have to do this, right?” Eliza approached carefully and Lena sighed, holding back the need to cry.

 

“Someone has to do something and I’m tired of living in fear,” Lena said cooly “thank you for not trying to talk me down.”

 

“It’s not my place to do it, Lena. But it’s my place to say that you still act on your own, even though you don’t have to” Eliza stepped closed and held her hand “no matter what you think, you’re important for all of us and you don’t have to pretend you have it all under control.”

 

“I know, but Lilian won’t stop until I give her what she wants,” Lena replied with a sad smile and let the woman kiss her forehead, a sign of acceptance.

 

“We love you, Lena. Think about it” she spoke as if it were famous last words.

 

“And I love you all.”

 

The time in between closing the door, taking a deep breath, and turning to the dark hallway, Lena let some tears fall down. It was never this hard, this painful and her heart was asking for peace. It was like accepting death by hanging at the witch-hunting time, like accepting that being different, or believing something knew, was an unforgivable sin. Lena caressed Lizzie’s hair, whispering calming words, and used the barely existing bravery inside herself. Her heels clicked on the floor and the mess still went on on the other side. The Danvers had become a lot more to Lena than she could ever imagine, and the price for it was already being collected.

 

Lena stopped to breathe for a few moments and then the familiar smile of her mother appeared in the dimness. The box and supplies warehouse had a freezing air, almost sepulchral feeling. Lizzie cried softly, sensing the danger, and closed her eyes. Lena held her righter, repeating the words in kryptonian that Kara had taught her. The sudden thought of Kara made her heartbeat run faster.

 

“You made a promise,” Lilian said dryly“you know I charge.”r

 

“I know and I didn’t intend on breaking it, you know that” Lena shot back “I just needed more time.”

 

“Time for what? Buy another company in our family name? Play house with your girlfriend” she accused angrily “or do you think I don’t know what you’ve been up to? I’m not stupid, Lena?”

 

“How did you think I could push her away?” Lena interrupted “did you think it would be simple? I needed to shatter her heart, you think a simple conversation could do it?” her shanks were shaking with hate and fear of her own words.

 

“So, you told her you love her” Lilian grinned like a devil, embracing the idea that maybe her daughter truly was a Luthor after all.

 

“I did,” she nodded.

 

“And you’re leaving” Lena closed her eyes, tears leaking like hot acid rain in her cheeks.

 

 

Lizzie squirmed and tried to raise her head. Lena knew, of course, she knew. Lizzie would only act like that when she heard someone familiar coming near. Not anyone, not any sound. Not any heartbeat. And so Lena knew she had to follow the deal and keep the promise she had made, ending everything once for all.

 

“I’m leaving because raising Lizzie in a world where aliens and humans coexist isn’t what I want for her” her voice trembled and she tried not to betray her words with her guilty heartbeat. But Lena could hear something breaking and it wasn’t something material.

 

It was Kara’s heart, the hero who was standing right behind her, observing her movements and listening to every word that came out of her mouth. Words like knives to her chest.

 

“I want Lizzie to forget her origins and for her to live a normal life, I don’t use her powers, remembering a planet that doesn’t exist anymore” Lena went on “because you were right, mom. Lex was right and I was wrong when I doubted you two” she swallowed the cry that tried to escape her throat “I need you to take me home.”

 

Lilian never looked so proud and satisfied. She looked at the hero standing behind her daughter, broken, destroyed, and about to fall on her knees. Then she held her daughter’s hands, pretending to give her the support she needed. Though she knew it was all a sick, badly written play.

 

“Lena” she heard a whisper and didn’t turn around to face it “Lena…”

 

“I’m sorry,” Lena said so low she wasn’t sure if she uttered the words or it was just her mind screaming it “forgive me…”

 

“Why… wh-” Kara choked and pulled Lena to herself, finally seeing her eyes and trying to search for the truth in them “why… tell m-me.. you can’t…”

 

“I have to” she caressed her cheeks and Lizzie began crying softly, asking for her other mother’s arm “no, Liz, we have to go” Lena pulled her hand back. The girl looked at her terrified and confused, her blue eyes looking just like Kara’s.

 

“Let me take her, let’s go” Kara begged “Come, come on… Lena!” She stepped back.

 

“I’ve made my decision, Kara,” Lena said, “I hope one day you’ll find it in you to forgive me for that.”

 

“Lena, no!” she cried out “why are you doing this? Why?

 

Silence.

 

“Because I love you and that has a price for me” she confessed.

 

“Lena, the car is waiting” Lilian cut it “you know I can blow this place up if you change your mind” she threatened.

 

“L-Lena…” Kara tried again, searching for her hand holding them tight “please…” she begged in a whisper.

 

Lena, in a moment of weakness, hugged her tight, Lizzie going between her bodies and pressing her carefully. She could hear Alex and J’onn calling Supergirl in the hearing gadget, but Kara was ignoring them. Kara continued to ask, beg and tell her it didn’t have to be this way, her heart didn’t want to believe that the woman who claimed to love her was pushing her away from her own daughter. It wasn’t true, it couldn’t be. Lena wasn’t a Luthors, she wasn’t like a family, Kara repeated over and over to others, to herself. Kara believed in her with her whole being, her whole soul and now… now her heart was in pieces, her soul being corroded by a feeling worse than the one she felt by thirteen.

 

“Shahr khap, K’arah” Lena whispered before letting go, speaking the little she knew and had learned the past months “zhalish khap, sokao” she looked at her, trying to convey her sorrow in her eyes.

 

“Lena…”

 

But it was settled and, once again, Kara was losing her world, unable to do anything to save it. Unable even to move her body.

 

Kara watched as Lena held Lilian’s hand and heard Lizzie cry louder, asking for her mother and squirming her body. Lena tried to calm her down but it was impossible, of course, it was, Lizzie loved her yeyu more than anything in the world. The backdoor closed and the silence punched Kara in the face, the darkness surrounding her again. Again, she thought to herself, it’s all happening again. The emotion and feeling of being left behind embraced her soul like an old friend in a painfully suffered reencounter. Kara didn’t want to believe her girlfriend was truly considering raising her daughter far from everything she had taught her, far from who Lizzie was now. What would Kara do now? How would she move on?

 

She could fight bad guys, end them all. But would Lena change her mind? Even when everything was fixed, would she come back and tell Kara it was all a lie?

 

Because it didn’t feel like it. Lena seemed to be sure of all the words that she uttered.

 

‘Trust me, Kara’  was what she said in her mother tongue.  ‘Forgive me.’  Were her last words.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

The fight went on in the midst of the chaos that the gala had become so quickly. Eliza stayed with Ruby and Eve at all times, inside the private room, while Winn and James helped the DEO in any way they could. Alex led the agents to disperse the guests and waiters, and also civilians on the street since most metahumans had run outside, looking for the only person alive in their memories. In their minds, the metahumans were fighting between duty and need. The bounty hunters didn’t seem to look for the million-dollar baby anymore now their goal was to cause damage and dissipate attention for whatever was going to happen next. It was more than clear now that, all this both, all the metahumans were just a distraction.

 

Alex didn’t understand the reason for all that, however, as she saw her sister land heavily on the floor, breaking and sinking the concrete, everything clicked. Lena and Lizzie weren’t there anymore. Her blue eyes, always so warm and vivid, now seemed to be covered by a dead, opaque shadow, one that screamed for help or any kind of moral relief. They didn’t have time to talk, J’onn was helping the agents on the yard and capturing the metahumans that Reign helped takedown, while James got instructions from Winn. Guardian wasn’t well accepted, but that didn’t stop him from helping. And although Alex didn’t like seeing James putting himself in unnecessary danger, she was thankful for the help.

 

Kara wasn’t acting right or thinking straight. Her fists hit the men too strongly, though they perhaps deserved it, provoking and shooting at her chest. She was angry, very angry. No one had ever seen her like that, her face was red, swollen, Supergirl was willing to kill anyone who stood in her way. It was like she was affected by red kryptonite again, acting on her worst thoughts and feelings. Many men fell like ragdolls on the floor, unconscious and barely breathing. But Kara kept hitting them with all she had. They begged for mercy, but she didn’t listen. She didn’t care about listening. She kneeled over the body and pushed the mercenary’s face until he was unrecognizable and dead.

 

Supergirl didn’t kill, she never killed. But what was that rule worth when she was dead inside?

 

“Supergirl, stop!” Alex screamed desperately, seeing her younger sister’s hands covered in blood “Stop!”

 

She didn’t listen. Her brain was shut off and the sound of her heart shattering into little pieces kept any other voice from coming in.

 

Another bullet hit her back and she turned around abruptly, using her heat vision to melt the gun and then run in super speed to grab the man by his neck. Other shots fired at her, many of them, and some men looked at her with frightened faces. The Supergirl facing them wasn’t the righteous hero, but a monster that inhabited her body. Luckily for her, no one besides them and the DEO was there to witness the city’s heroine succumb to such immoral emotions. So primal. Right now, Kara, with blood drops in her face and teared-up eyes, didn’t want to be any hero.

 

She just wanted to be that lost, broken thirteen-year-old girl.

 

“Supergirl, stop!” Alex tried again, but Supergirl had already snapped two necks in a blink of an eye, letting their bodies fall down like worthless animals.

 

Suddenly, one of them threw a chain to her legs, knocking the hero down and using that opportunity to try and stab her in the chest. Kara stopped him with two hands and held the blade between her fingers, too weak to get up but too enraged to give up. She heated up the metal with her eyes, burning the man’s hands in the process, he wailed in pain and stepped away from her. So, the hero broke the chain and stood up, taking firm steps, shattering the floor under her, the concrete reflecting her destroyed, unknown spirit.

 

Before she could reach him and rip his heart with her bare hands, Kara felt a tug on her cape and was taken away from her goal. She squirmed, kicking the air but the arms keeping her down were too strong, stronger than what she could fight. Her feet left the ground and soon the impact of the ceiling in the body made her eyes close up, shrinking in that bothersome, awkward embrace. The night breeze kissed her face like death welcoming its guests, little drops of water directly from the clouds hitting her face, indicating that no one else was there, except for the dark caped woman holding her strongly, not showing any signs of letting go. That didn’t calm Kara down, on the contrary, it only made her anger and pain rise, unable to do what she wanted.

 

“Kara, stop!” Reign screamed and suffocated her in her arms “can you stop moving? I’ll break your neck if you don’t calm down!”

 

“Let go of me! I didn’t ask for your help, I didn’t ask you to be here!” Kara kicked like an upset child.

 

“And since when do I do as you ask?” she retorted, impatient “Kara!”

 

“She left!” Kara let it all out, making her lungs ache “she… she left…” she sobbed, allowing her body to soften and the tears to fall.

 

“I know, but this isn’t you, what you’ve done… it isn’t you, Kara” Reign replied in an amicable tone. She listened to the woman sob and cry loudly, not caring if other people would listen or not. She didn’t care, all she wanted was to end that miserable life.

 

“S-she… she didn’t… care about me” Kara confessed, broken, her voice was a shaking whisper “Lena… what d-do I... it’s hurting Reign. It’s hurting so much!”

 

“I know” Reign softened her arms around her body and turned her around “come here” and hugged her, for the first time, without any begging from Kara or complaints from her.

 

Reign just hugged Supergirl and let her hug her back, holding her neck desperately tight and hiding her face in her chest, sobbing until she was out of air. The two stayed there, under the sky of National City, the world ending at their feet and the capes shaking with the wind. They didn’t see time pass and Reign, who was always impatient about sentimental subjects, waited for Kara’s time. A part of her was Sam, the sweet, tender woman, who knew Kara’s pains well, and the other part of her was an unfamiliar alien who inhabited that body like an entity and was learning to share that space and mind.

 

“W-why?” Kara murmured, hoarse and tired.

 

“Kara, listen to me” Reign was firm “Lena had her motives, motives that I don’t understand but that I have trust on. Sam taught me that she always knows what to do, even when it seems like there’s no way out” Kara moved away a bit and looked at her, very confused. “You love her, right?” she nodded “so just trust her.”

 

“The things she said…”

 

“You’ll have to forgive her,” she interrupted, “I can’t say I know what’s going to happen and that everything is going to work out, but I trust Sam, and Sam trusts the Luthor.”

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

The mansion’s door opened as if it waited years for that comeback. The old wood creaked with the movement, shooting echoes to the walls and resuscitating memories no one bothered to remember. Lilian walked in with the same posture as always, ordering the housekeepers to light the fireplace and prepare them something to drink. Quickly, the two elderly women ran to the kitchen, excusing themselves alongside the maintenance lad. It was as if nothing had changed, as if Lena had never left and she was still waiting for her older brother to return, after a conference he had in Europe with other geniuses like him. Lena’s dream to accompany him, to witness what was said at the science fairs, and be able to participate in the ideas. But Lex always said she still had a lot to learn yet and then she wouldn’t insist, simply accepting it.

 

Because Lex was her idea of perfection, the ideal human being, and he broke her heart without thinking twice.

 

Lizzie fell asleep in the car, lips locked in her mother’s nipple, and her face reddened from crying, which made Lena want to scream. Using the excuse to put her daughter in the crib, Lena left her mother and went up the stairs, observing the old paintings that Lionel had bought for the new mansion in National City which, in fact, had been her brother’s idea. After all, their father was sick and wasn’t going to last much longer. Lena tried to not get emotional over the memories of that excited boy, who would escape his room in the middle of the night and invade hers, to tell stories about the stars or simply distract her from the nightmares. But it was impossible because that was her past, her story, no matter how confusing and damned it was. That was what was left for her, at the end of the day.

 

Her old room was intact, the same furniture in the same places, clean bedsheets, she exhaled the familiar scent. Her books, personal belongings, a photograph from her school days, some magazines, and notebooks were on the table and the same old shelves. Lena sighed heavily, her whole body hurting from the tension and her face covered in traces of the tears from before. She wanted to cry again, scream, run or run away, but she made a promise. Not to Lilian, but to her daughter.

 

Lena would always keep her safe, no matter what it cost her.

 

“Shh…” she whispered to the baby while lying her down and placing many pillows around her “mommy is here.”

 

Lizzie turned on her stomach and sighed tired, giving in to sleep. Lena used that time to keep her plan going, starting from the need to change clothes. She opened the closet quickly and took out what she saw first, that being a pair of jeans, an old college t-shirt, and an MIT sweatshirt. She put on her sneakers, tied her hair up, and began to look for what she needed to complete that phase of the plan she had come up with the last two months. She was a Luthor and needed to be prepared for anything that could happen, though she knew the consequences of her actions were going to hurt like hell.

 

Lena spread some tools on the floor, being careful to not make any noise, and soon grabbed Lex’s old radio and another radio, a bit larger, that sensed television channels’ frequency. It was a simple plan, easy to do and any child that took interest in physics and electronics could execute it. Time flew fast, Lena used the time wisely, checking if her daughter was still asleep every thirty seconds. Lilian would knock on the door any second now, calling her to talk about the future and the decisions she would make from now on. It couldn’t take any longer, Lena needed to finish it before it was too late. She looked at the room and smiled sadly, the memories haunting her, she sighed in relief as she found the bag, all ready, hidden under the bed.

 

“Shit!” she mumbled, her finger bleeding from a tiny cut “please, work…”

 

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, cutting her attention. Lena knew who it was and so she didn’t answer, she couldn’t, yet. The small, undone radio let a white noise, more of a sizzle, come out, the signal was failing, even though she was moving the wide antenna. She moved it around again, connecting the speaker to the other radio, and soon, low music resonated in the room. Now all she needed to do was make it work the way she wanted.

 

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon…” Lena repeated like a mantra, trying to find the right frequency “yes!” The sizzle stopped and she tested the signal with the speaker she made of the smaller radio.

 

On the other side of the town, the DEO was filled by unconscious metahumans and arrested bounty hunters. They were all being taken to the maximum-security wards, where they would remain locked until interrogation. the NCPD asked them to take the ‘humans’ until they found a place to shelter them and make justice. No one said Lilian Luthor's name, but the fact that the family was involved was implicit since most troubles led to them. The agents chatted about the latest occurrences, guiding the criminals through the hallways, while J’onn, Alex, Supergirl, James, Winn, and Superman discussed the possible routes that the car that took Lena could have taken. In fact, nothing was making any sense.

 

“Okay, so far what we know is that the bounty hunters were a distraction” J’onn spoke and they nodded.

 

“In fact, maybe the metahumans also, but were not sure” Alex explained “they would’ve been a big enough distraction alone, so I don’t think they were used for the same goal.

 

“Supergirl? Any news?” she shook her head, no one dared to ask her about it “though it is hard, you need to tell us what she said.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it?” Kara was dry.

 

“Where is Reign?” Winn asked the agent “I thought she was coming.”

 

“She doesn’t like it here and said she would break Superman’s nose if she saw him again” Alex shrugged and Clark frowned, slightly touching his nose “so… she’s taking a walk.”

 

“What do we have then?” James questioned, “we need to act fast, we don’t know what can happen, besides… what if Lena chose to go?”

 

The group looked at each other, uncertain, and maybe even considering that possibility.

 

“Why are we going to save her if she chose to go?” he pointed out and it made sense “if Lena doesn’t want to come back, there’s no reason for…”

 

“Shut up!” Kara screamed enraged and Alex quickly held her shoulder, trying to calm her down “if you’re not going to help then get out!”

 

“Kara, calm down,” Alex said carefully “James is willing to help but if Lena doesn’t want to come back, there’s not much we can do right now.”

 

“She left with my daughter!” Kara turned to her sister “if none of you are going to help me, then I’m going alone!”

 

“Kara, this isn’t what she meant” Superman embraced her cousin and sighed “we’re all here to help you, but first we need a place to start. I understand your pain…”

 

“You don’t understand shit” Kara mumbled and stepped away, cleaning her face “what are we going to do?”

 

“I think I have an idea” Lois stepped in and spread some papers on the table “well, I’ve been reading some notes I found and pieced them together with the ones Lena gave us that day. Apparently, only a Luthor by blood can access any of Lex’s safes and he did that because she knew Lena would never get into his things without permission, or willingly” she explained, “turns out that the materials used in the metahumans truly aren’t from Earth and can explode if they get close to certain substances.”

 

“Wait, but what does that have to do with our situation here?” Alex questioned, confused.

 

“Did you guys say that Lilian is the one that’s probably behind all this?” Lois asked back, looking at her boyfriend “that’s where I’m getting.”

 

“You think she wants what’s inside the vault to finish what she started” Clark completed “weren’t the DNAs already stolen?”

 

“But what if she needs something from inside it to finish her project?” Winn theorized “like… like an active substance, or a radioactive element.”

 

“She wants to make an atom bomb?” Kara frowned, “that doesn’t make any sense.”

 

“Or maybe it isn’t a bomb” Alex refuted “okay, we’re getting somewhere, go on Lois.”

 

“Thank you, Danvers,” she scoffed, spreading even more papers. “I don't know what could be inside the vault, but it can be too dangerous to open. According to these papers, some materials are too sensitive and can combust if they touch hydrogen, oxygen or water droplets.”

 

“Basically everything we have in our atmosphere” James shortened it “which means…”

 

“The vault will blow up once she opens it” J’onn murmured and they all turned to him.

 

It would all explode, with everyone inside it.

 

With Lena.

 

With Lizzie.

 

“We need someone that understands nuclear physics to help us before it’s too late and Lena doesn’t make it” Lois sentenced.

 

“I have someone that can help us,” Winn smiled and nodded to James.

 

In no time, James came back with a blonde woman, still dressed in a chick dress, typing on her phone and smiling politely to everyone greeting her.

 

“Eve? That’s the person that can help us?” Alex pointed at the woman, frowning “no offense, of course.”

 

“None taken, Danvers” Eve answered fearlessly “I have a degree in nuclear physics and I’m specialized in electrical and electronics” Kara spit out her water and stared at her.

 

“And why do you work picking up coffee?” She asked. Which was the question everyone was mentally making.

 

“I think that’s a question for later, Supergirl” Superman scoffed “we don’t have a lot of time.”

 

“Is…” Eve’s eyes widened “that Superman? The… the Superman” she pointed at him excitedly and Clark smiled awkwardly, Lois quickly stood next to him, possessive as always “wow, why didn’t you tell me you were even more interesting, Winn?”

 

Winn blushed hard and scratched the back of his neck, speechless as always.

 

“Uh… I, er… let’s get to the point” he dodged the subject “we need someone that knows how to disarm a bomb.”

 

“Not quite a bomb” J’onn corrected him “we just know if there’s a way for us to break a vault’s lock mechanism, or somehow protect the substances kept in there.”

 

“That’s what I said” Winn shrugged smugly and James laughed.

 

“Do you have their description?” Eve questioned and Lois handed her the list “right, how much time do we have, exactly?”

 

“Let’s say you have to be as fast as possible,” James answered.

 

“J’onn!” one of the agents called out “we’re getting an unknown radio signal, should we let it in?”

 

“Yes,” they all stepped close to the screen and waited for it “turn the speakers up, please.”

 

K-Kara… please, anyone… some-

 

“Lena” Kara walked closed, standing next to the agent responsible for the machine “it’s Lena!”

 

“The transmission is really bad,” the agent said.

 

“Don’t turn it off” Alex tried to make it better somehow.

 

Can anybody hear me? K-... Kara?

 

“Lena! Lena, I can hear you!” she screamed on the microphone “where are you? Who is with you?”

 

Kara? I-I’m… the signal… it’s bad, I can’t hear you but I hope you can hear me. I know I kept this a secret and I know I should have told you about Lilian’s plans from the start, but I wanted to deal with it alone, I wanted to try and be the hero you once asked me to be. Ever since I met you, I knew I was going to fall in love with you, for the most amazing reporter I’ve ever had in my office. It was easy, Kara, it was so simple I didn’t even notice it. Loving you was like breathing, like blinking, like smiling at your texts. Involuntary. But everything comes with a price, especially for me, for my family, and I was scared it was going to get you, it’s getting to our daughter. About Lizzie, she’s okay… she’s sleeping and probably dreaming of you right now. I… Li…

 

“The connection is cutting again!” Kara warned and Alex scrambled on the screen “Lena?”

 

I know what Lilian’s intention is and I know what she wants inside that vault, she needs my blood to access the lock. And I also know that the substances there will touch our atmosphere and blow up, causing an explosion that neither me nor anyone can survive. Forgive me, Kara. Forgive me for making you think that I wanted you far from me, that your history wasn’t important, that Lizzie wasn’t a part of Krypton. Lizzie is yours, she’s mine, but can’t be with me anymore. I know what I’m doing and I’m saying sorry in advance. I’m doing this for us, for our family, for loving all of you, and mostly, for loving you more than myself. Reign is aware of all of this, she’s coming to pick up Lizzie and take her to you. I left the penthouse in your name, everything that’s mine, it’s your now and our girl is the only rightful heir to L-Corp. Sam will take that responsibility until Lizzie is of age and can decide for herself if she wants to follow the same path as me,

 

“No…” Kara stepped back and muffled the sob that tried to escape her throat.

 

 

I’m so sorry, but if I’m not alive, if Lilian isn’t alive, then you can get the peace you deserve. I love you two, please don’t let Lizzie forget about me, don’t let her think I abandoned her as my mother did me. Please, be with her on her first day at school, don't let her eat candy before lunch, take pictures of her first ballet presentation or her first swimming competition, give her all the support she deserves. Keep her baby teeth after they fall and teach her to be kind, to have compassion, empathy, and to be brave like you. Kara, you’re a wonderful mother, I never doubted it. Supergirl might be the city’s symbol, the hero that everyone needs, but you, your heart, is so much more than just the symbol in your chest. I need you to take care of Lizzie for us, I need you to trust me and let me do this for the three of us. I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye, sorry I didn’t do this the right way but I didn't have more time and I needed to go. I know it’s going to hurt at first, but I’ll be with you, in your heart, always, alive in our little girl’s soul. By the way, let her be with her cousin that’s about to arrive, it’s going to be important for her to know she isn’t the only one. I know it hurts to think Clark abandoned you, but it isn’t always easy to take up the responsibility to raise someone, not everyone is ready. It isn’t a job for everyone. It was yours, but it wasn’t his. Sit down, talk, forgive each other, because if I had had that opportunity to do that with Lex earlier, I would have. You… yo-... l…”

 

“Lena!” Kara screamed and hit the table hard, making it break in half “Lena you’re not doing this! Lena!

 

I… I love you, Kara…

 

“Lena, no!” she sobbed in despair, pain corroding every cell in her body.

 

“I have a position!” Winn yelled.

 

“Alex, get the helicopter ready and our best agents” J’onn commanded and she nodded “Supergirl and Superman I need you to get there before us and stop Lena from doing anything, and please, James, try to find Reign” the heroes nodded and flew through the balcony, Guardian also obeyed and ran outside “Winn, take Eve to the lab and tell Eliza we need her help with the bomb.”

 

“Right” he guided the woman to the stairs” what about Lois?”

 

“Take her with you and let her be responsible for Ruby in the resting room” J’onn sentenced.

 

“What? Why?” she crossed her arms.

 

“Because you’re pregnant and Ruby’s mom is a very moody alien” he replied, “and we don’t need two stressed aliens right now, or three, anyway, go!”

 

 

“Ugh!” she groaned but complied, it wasn’t the time to argue.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“Lena, do you want some, darling? Lilian offered a glass of wine and Lena accepted it without hesitation. She had hidden any trace of the radio and the plan and went downstairs to accompany her mother in the living room “how do you feel?”

 

“Hum?” she was lost in her thoughts.

 

“Still thinking about her?” Lilian snarled, looking down on her, but she couldn’t deny it, she was rather proud of her “you know, I really didn’t think you’d be strong enough to keep your promise.”

 

“You always underestimated me, Lilian,” she replied dry and biting “you’d know what that’s like if you had any maternal feeling inside.”

 

“But I do, honey” she smiled, taking a sip of the dark liquid, slowly licking her lips “just not for you.”

 

Lena took a deep breath that hit her hard, like a punch in the gut. Of course, Lilian would never love her like a daughter.

 

“And why did you take me back?” she questioned.

 

“I need you for some things and I need to complete a personal project” suddenly, one of the bounty hunters, one unfamiliar to Lena, walked into the room and her heart stopped beating.

 

The crystal glass fell onto the carpet, staining it with wine and breaking into shiny pieces.

 

He was holding Lizzie in his arms, still asleep.

 

“Lizzie!” Lena tried to get close but the man pulled a gun out of his pocket and pointed it at the baby “no, no, no…”

 

“Calm down, Lena” Lilian placed a hand on her shoulder “he’s not going to hurt her, unless I tell him to, and that will only happen if you disobey me.”

 

“What do you want?” she lashed out “why won’t you leave me alone, if you hate me so much why won’t you walk away from my life?” she screamed with all her strength, though she knew her daughter would wake up from the noise. Her tears streamed down and she saw her plan slowly go down the drain.

 

It wasn’t supposed to be like that, Reign was supposed to arrive, Lizzie was supposed to be taken out of there.

 

“It’s simple, really, I just need you for two things” she sighed and called up two other men, who appeared from the shadows, carrying some boxes to the van waiting for outside “Lex is dying.”

 

That caught Lena by surprise. Again, her heart ached in her chest and she didn’t know what to think. Her eyes never left the baby in the arms of the stranger.

 

“Let me carry her, please, she’s going to get scared, Lilian please” she begged, crying out, trying to get close to the man but he continued to threaten her with the gun “get that away from her”

 

“Lena, if you don’t cooperate, I’ll have to take more drastic measures, why don’t you just calm down? Everything has its right time” Lilian said cooly “be careful with that, please” she warned, “as I was saying, Lex is dying and I need to make sure he has a worthy heir to take his place one that is raised for me, without any interference” she explained as they got into the black van “the same place” she told the driver. The vehicle sped up and Lena tried to calm down slowly, she had to make her plan work somehow “turns out that, until now, I had no idea it was possible to create someone from two genes that are so different, ending up in such an interesting creature” she looked at Lizzie and smiled “that surprised me and gave me a new idea. Why not make a little being like this one from Lex’s and Superman’s DNA?”

 

Lena frowned, completely lost. That was the plan?

 

“W-what?” She ignored the confusion and tried to focus.

 

“You heard me, I intend to raise an heir for me, one that can be my ally in the future” her voice sounded smug and proud “the world needs a hero that fights for the right reasons, Lena. So I had to make those metahumans, I had to test the DNA mixtures, check how it occurred, whether the body would accept it or not, hence, the radiation.”

 

“To clean any trace from genetic induced mutations” she murmured, the pieces coming together in her mind “all this time…?”

 

“Precisely, Lena, and the only reason I couldn’t create perfect yet it’s because something is missing, and I’ll only find that something once my little granddaughter offers me a little bit of her blood” she looked at the baby and caressed her cheeks “I ran some tests, but now all samples are strong enough. Some embryos survived, while others died right before finishing the morula phase. It’s interesting to think alien technology is much more developed than ours, allowing same-sex couples to procreate.”

 

“You won’t succeed, Lilian,” Lena snarled, angry. “You’d need something advanced, something that we don’t have, you can’t simply create a child, who would generate it?”

 

“Maybe I got a prototype of how the daxamite incubators worked and maybe some babies died in the process” she shrugged.

 

“You’re a monster!” Lilian laughed at her daughter’s childish anger “you’re not laying a finger on my daughter!”

 

“We’ll see about that.”

 

After what felt like long minutes, the driver said they had arrived and it was safe to go. The place was an open field, away from the city and the mansion. Lena could smell the wet earth, the trees from the forest reserve next to them, which emanated a dark, freezing breeze. Her spine shivered, putting her arms around herself and expecting the worse to happen. Lizzie began to mumble, waking up slowly and sensing the weird scent coming from the man carrying her. Once she realized he wasn’t any of her mothers, her eyes widened and she began crying low, which made Lena panic. As she tried to get close again, two firm, strong hands grabbed her arm, pulling her back. That awakened a terrifying fury inside her, one that could kill someone with one hand.

 

“Let me go!” Lena pulled back abruptly and they couldn’t hold her back “don’t touch me!” she spat out, her eyes burning in rage. She sighed, exhausted, but as she turned around, the man pointed the gun at the girl again.

 

Sure, Lena thought to herself, Lizzie had skin like steel, just like Supergirl, but Lena didn’t want to put it to the test. They didn’t know how impenetrable she was and she wasn’t going to take that risk.

 

“Uhum, you better behave,” the man provoked and laughed, “or this little one will get a taste of something not so good, and she’s so young for it, don’t you think?”

 

“You don’t know who you’re threatening” Lena shot back “get that away from her or I’ll end you myself.”

 

“Enough, let’s keep going, please?” Lilian intervened while unlocking what looked like an abandoned wood house.

 

It was naive of Lena to think it was just a random house in the middle of nowhere. On the inside, the house had an arsenal of chemicals and guns that Lena had never seen before. The walls were covered in lead, each of them containing a lock and a specific password, of course. The people moved around carefully, Lilian deactivated the alarms and asked for the other to take the rest of the things she needed to change for a more developed and safe lab. The two men responsible for it left the house quickly, both armed and chatting as if nothing there was a big deal. Lena and her mother were left behind with the bounty hunter.

 

Lilian smiled and pointed the way they should follow. No one dared to say a thing and Lizzie continued to cry loudly, asking for her mother's arms and sobbing, breaking the heart of anyone with the bare minimum of empathy. Lena, seeing that she had no way out, began speaking in kryptonian, that way, no one but her daughter would understand. And maybe, just maybe, Kara would listen, or perhaps Reign, not that her plan had been undone in a matter of seconds. She took a deep breath and they arrived at some kind of underground garage, where the atmosphere was heavier and a feeling of claustrophobia surrounded them. Lilian made her way to a simple panel, where there was a retina and digital identification system. Lex was always careful about those with whom he shared his secrets.

 

But Lilian could only unlock it until a certain point, then she would need her daughter’s blood to continue the process. 

 

“You know what will happen once you open that vault, right?” Lena asked, frightened.

 

“Of course I know, but I have approximately fifteen minutes to get out of here which I need” she bragged, victorious “I can’t say the same for you.”

 

“I’ll do whatever you want” her eyes teared up “I’ll do as you ask, but please let Lizzie get out of here, let me give her to someone who’ll take care of her, please, she’s just a baby.”

 

“And why would I want her to let her live? For her to come for vengeance in the future? For her to be raised by Supergirl and get in my way?” Lilian snarled in disbelief “did you really think I’d be that stupid?” she pointed at the metal table on her side and the man placed the baby there.

 

Lizzie, as she felt the cold metal under her skin, tried to move and the fear took over her little heart. She cried and screamed, moving her little hands, the same way she did when she wanted something, asking for her mom, for the arms she knew.

 

“Mama, mama, mama” she babbled with difficulty and sobbed, the tears cutting her little face “ma-mama!”

 

“Lizzie!” Lena tried to run to her again but fell to the floor from a punch on her left ribs “Lizzie mommy is here!” she screamed and felt the pain blind her, spreading over her body.

 

Lena didn’t even notice it was the first time the girl said, mommy.

 

“Let’s get this over with,” Lilian interrupted, and the men took capsules of kryptonite from the suitcases “place it around her, I need to weaken her to draw the blood.”

 

They complied and soon the baby was surrounded by a green radioactive atmosphere. Lilian took out a needle and the syringe from a little box, approaching her granddaughter, and asking for someone to hold her down since she refused to stay still. It was a complicated task, since the girl’s lung was pretty strong, just like her screaming and persistence to resist. She pulled out constantly from her grandmother's grip and then Lilian lost her patience, asking two men to hold the baby down.

 

“It won’t hurt a bit,” Lilian said softly, but when she tried to penetrate it on her skin, the metal broke “w-what… give me another needle” she requested, but it broke too.

 

Lena smiled to herself and got up, still holding her left side.

 

“You’re not going to succeed,” she repeated.

 

“Get me more kryptonite” Lilian screamed at them and they ran to take the other samples “you are going to give me what I want, young lady” she pointed to Lizzie.

 

“No, no you won’t” Lena’s voice sounded louder this time “you can bring all the kryptonite in the world, Lilian. You won’t get a drop of blood from her.”

 

“You’re lying!” she accused.

 

“Lizzie is immune to kryptonite!” Lena explained and soon an explosion echoed above them, making the ground they were under shake. Lizzie stopped crying and looked up. 

 

Kara.

 

“Quick!” Lilian screamed and the men came back to gather everything “just take the rest to the van, I’m going to get what I need” she pulled Lena by her arm, hurting her shoulder and basically dragging her to the vaults’ lock panel “I may not get your daughter’s blood, but I will get what I want” she put Lena’s palm on the screen and it blinked in yellow three times, and then green, three-time.

 

One door in the back opened, and then another on the floor.

 

"What I need is down here, ignore the other door,” Lilian said and two men got a suitcase, with a warning for danger on it, out.

 

The other materials remained in here and were exposed to the air, being able to combust at any time. Before Lilian could give the next instructions, Superman and Supergirl showed up and dealt with the situation as abruptly as possible. Lena smiled at the hero, seeing that her eyes still held pain, and ran to take Lizzie, kissing her hair and face. The men that were outside, running in, all of their chests were glowing in the same shade of yellow. Kara looked at her cousin and they divided the job, trying to do things as fast as they could until the DEO arrived with backup. And it didn’t take long for ten agents to show up, and Alex ran to Lena.

 

“Lena, how long do we have?” she questioned.

 

“Nine minutes” she was certain “what are you doing, this is going to explode!”

 

“Not if it can help it” Alex took her backpack and took out some liquid materials, alongside a glass capsule “Eve? Can you hear me?” She placed a finger on the hearing gadget.

 

Alex! Yes!

 

“I need you to tell me what to do,” she asked “we have… seven minutes” Eve began to explain it the best way she could and Alex did exactly as told.

 

“No! Let go of me!” Lena screamed as she felt a hard tug on her sweatshirt and held Lizzie tight “let me go!”

 

Alex got up to fix that problem too, as Winn and Eve continued to talk in her ear. She punched the man’s nose but he stepped away and fought back, making Alex fall on the floor. Lena ran to the other side, trying to keep her daughter as safe as possible while Supergirl and Superman fought the metahumans. She found Guardian going in through the backdoor, one that led to the house's emergency exit. He looked at her scared but relieved to know both of them were alive.

 

“Lena, you need to get out of here!” he exclaimed, “how long do we have?”

 

“Four minutes as a half,” she answered. They tried to take the way back but two bounty hunters showed up.

 

“Take the other way, I’ll meet you outside” another boom came from inside the house and, this time, a dark cape appeared as soon as the dust settled.

 

The red vivid eyes glowed and her malicious smile was exposed, thirsty for blood, as always.

 

“Alex!” Lena screamed “three minutes!”

 

“You’re not going anywhere” Lilian blocked her way to the stairs and pointed a gun at her “if Lizzie can’t die, you can. If you want to keep breathing, Lena, you have to come with me” she cocked the trigger “it’s your choice.”

 

“Alex, one minute!” Superman warned and the agent finished the last touches before putting each mixture on the substances and closing the glass pot “Alex!”

 

“I got it!” she screamed back, and then the panel glowed in red light.

 

Time seemed to stop, every second went by in slow motion, all the tension dissipated in the air.

 

And then the red turned to green light, allowing everyone to breathe in relief.

 

“Reign, behind you!” James screamed and she reacted turning to the two metahumans bolting in her direction.

 

“Let’s go, Lena!” Lilian screamed.

 

“I’m not going anywhere with you” she sentenced “you can kill me, you can do whatever you want with me, Lizzie won’t ever be yours, I’ll never go with you.”

 

“As you wish” Lilian smiled at her one last time, observing the CEO kiss her daughter’s head and say goodbye in silence.

 

The impact never came, the pain, the emptiness, the comprehending of the end. It never arrived. On the contrary, the only shock that came to Lena was of another body in front of her, one that now agonized on the floor.

 

“Kara!” Lena’s cutting scream slit the air “Kara!”

 

The greenish spots now ran through Supergirl’s skin, making her twitch and shiver. The bullet was made of kryptonite and it was slowly killing her.

 

Lena balanced Lizzie on her lap and, feeling sick, turned around and threw her last drinks and meals up. Her blood pressure was dropping, fear was feeding off her soul, but she didn't want to give up, she wasn’t going to give in to weakness now. Not now.

 

“We need to get you out of here” James approached and tried to stand her up.

 

“No!” she cried out “I… I want… I need you to take Lizzie out of here” she raised the girl up “please, James, I’m only asking you one thing…”

 

“Kara doesn’t want you to stay, I can’t…”

 

“James, I’m not leaving her here, please” her eyes begged and Guardian couldn’t say no.

 

“Fuck, Lena!” he sighed and held Lizzie in his arms, the baby started crying again “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

 

Lena watched as James walked out with her daughter, taking her heart with him. Her attention turned back to the unconscious woman in front of her, and she realized Lilian had vanished. Superman, Reign, and Alex continued to fight those who loyally battled for Lilian Luthor. But if Lena didn’t act fast, Kara would die. She still remembered what she said kryptonite felt like. It was like being scratched from inside out, like having your skin brutally turn from the nerves. Her eyes teared up, she could barely see or think.

 

“Kara, ple-please, stay with me, please” Lena murmured, trying to stop the bleeding with her hands, focusing on not puking again “Kara, don’t do this to me, don’t you dare leave me like this, it wasn’t supposed… d-don’t…” she sobbed “Clark!”

 

Superman turned around and his eyes widened as he realized what was happening. Using the laser vision he eliminated the two bounty hunters on him and ran to help her cousin. Soon, he felt the radiation weaken him as well, but the best, fastest plan now was to go back to the DEO.

 

“Get her out of here, fast!” Lena commanded and got up, cleaning her hands on her sweatshirt, painting it red. “There’s something I have to do.”

 

Superman nodded and flew away. Lena took a deep breath and saw a gun scattered on the floor. It was what she had to do, it was her duty, it was what her heart was ordering at that time of pure hate and unbelief. If Kara died, Lena would do anything, go through hell, to ensure Lilian Luthor got such a sickening end even the devil would be appalled. She cleaned her face and, ignoring Alex and Reign, she ran back in, through the side door where the emergency exit was. Soon, the darkness surrounded her, difficulting the job of walking and making her listen to her own terrified heart. She sighed heavily, decreasing pace and dodging the walls. That was when she heard a noise, steps, to be more precise. Lena raised the gun and faced Lilian Luthor, gathering her belongings.

 

“Stop right now” she was firm but her voice was hoarse “I said stop!”

 

Lilian turned around and smiled.

 

“Oh, Lena, you wouldn’t be capable” the sound of the weapon cocking made Lilian’s body tense up, but the smug smile remained “you know this isn’t like you.”

 

“Try me” Lena bet and walked closer “if Kara dies, I’ll make sure myself you’ll be tortured in hell.”

 

“And you think she’s going to be fine if what you did? Oh!” she laughed ironically, “I forgot, she might never wake up for that.”

 

“I’m going to end you!” her free hand covered her mouth fast, trying to stop the cutting sob to leave her throat, unsucceeded. “I…” 

 

“Lena!” Alex appeared behind her as stopped as she saw Lena holding the gun, her hand trembling, covered in dry blood “Lena, put the gun down.”

 

“No!” she cried out “she ended me, she ruined my life, she… s-she… she killed Kara!” her tears blinded her “h-how… ho-how am I…”

 

“Lena, listen to me, this isn’t you and you know the consequences of pulling the trigger are innumerous” Alex got closer slowly, both hands up, looking her right in the eye “you know Kara would never want you to act like that, think about her now, and Lizzie. They need you.”

 

“I j-just want… I just want this to end” Lena confessed between tears, her lungs hurting from the lack of oxygen “she… she killed Kara, I can’t let her get away with it!” Lena aimed again and Lilian moved a couple of steps back, now scared and fearful.

 

“My love, look at me,” Alex asked tenderly and carefully “please, look at me” Lena turned around, but the gun was still up “I believe you and the Lena I know thinks at least two or three times before acting. Put this on the ground and let’s go home, Kara needs you right now” Alex tried not to fall apart too, she really didn’t know if her sister was alive, she didn’t want to think about the possibilities “please, Lena…” 

 

Lena sobbed and fell on her knees, putting the gun aside and so Alex kneeled down to hold her tight, letting her cry on her chest. Lena’s sweatshirt was stained with blood, her hands too and she never looked so fragile, so small and broken. Alex allowed herself to break down too, unsure of the position they were in, and felt her muscles complain from the effort. Lilian used the emotional moment to try to reach for the gun on the ground, but she didn’t get very far, because as she tried to touch it, the gun broke into pieces, turning to dust under a black boot. As Lilian looked up, her eyes met a pair of red velvet eyes, shining for revenge and blood, unlike anything she had ever seen.

 

Reign turned to Alex as if waiting for an answer.

 

As if waiting for approval, a positive nod.

 

And Alex simply hid Lena’s face on her shoulder and nodded weekly to Reign. Alex knew she was going to face the consequences for that choice later, but her anger, her need to get revenge on the person who hurt her family spoke louder. And Lena didn’t need to know Alex had agreed to that ending.

 

Reign dragged Lilian by her dress out of the room and smirked before leaving, placing a finger in front of her lips, as if asking Alex to keep a dirty little secret.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“I need to see her! Where is Lizzie?” Lena questioned fast as soon as she stepped foot into the DEO “Where is Kara?”

 

“She just entered surgery” Clark informed, they were all waiting outside “we still don’t have any news” he sighed.

 

“The kryptonite got into her blood too fast” J’onn explained “the doctors are trying to remove the bullet, but…” he breathed out and turned around, facing the doors, unable to finish that thought.

 

“Where are the others?” Alex asked worriedly.

 

“Winn is with Eve and Eliza in the lab, they asked Lena to go there as soon as she arrived” J’onn answered “Alex, your leg…” he pointed at the agent’s thigh.

 

“I… I think I got a grazed shot” she mumbled, Alex was feeling an aching pain on her time but she hadn’t had time to pay attention to it “it’ll be fine…”

 

“You should get that cleaned up” Lois appeared, she was carrying Lizzie in her arms, the girl was asleep “Apparently I was responsible for the children” she smiled sadly to the Luthor.

 

Lena breathed out in relief and got the baby in her arms, checking to see if she didn’t have any scratch or harm. She kissed her hair, her cheeks and repeated that she loved her like a mantra, until the realization that the nightmare wasn’t over yet. Kara was still in surgery, no one knew if she was going to survive, according to what Clark said, the kryptonite radiation was lethal to their species in ways no one could explain. It acted fast on the organism, killing the cells in a blink of an eye, going straight to the heart in a matter of minutes. Right now, the department seemed to be drowning in an ocean of sadness, tiredness, and despair. They didn’t know what to expect for tomorrow, didn’t know if they would get through the loss of someone like Supergirl, and could barely affirm they would know how to deal with the pain.

 

James sat on the ground, exhausted, feeling every muscle in his body ache. Alex groaned at the flesh wound on her leg and the dry blood that stained her pants. Lois breathed deeply and took Lizzie back, promising she would keep her safe and sound, going to keep company to Ruby, who was asleep at the resting room, waiting for her moms to come back. Clark didn’t even try to hide the tears streaming down her face, marking the skin of steel like stakes cutting through rocks. Kara was his family, the last daughter of Krypton, she had sacrificed herself for love, too much selflessness, and not enough selfishness. She was his cousin, the woman who grew up being commanded and ruled on how to behave, to act, never being able to be who she truly wanted to be, who her heart craved to be. Clark would never forgive himself if she didn’t wake up again.

 

If he had to say goodbye forever.

 

Eliza soon showed up and ran to hug Alex and Lena, falling apart in their arms and letting a cutting sob echo through the place. J’onn, who remained away from them quietly, cried like he had never before. He loved Kara like a daughter and wouldn’t bear to lose her, he had lost enough already. The agents working at the DEO’s medical ward were doing their best as fast as they could, using red light lamps to weaken the hero, even more, managing to finish hours-long surgery. The bullet had gone through her left ribs, penetrating deep and spreading the radiation through her body fast.

 

“S-she…” Lena tried to say “I’m sorry…” she whispered.

 

“Don’t lose hope” Eliza interrupted and looked at her girls “if you two aren’t strong, then I’m not going to make it and neither is Kara. She has been strong for all of us for a long time now, we need to do the same for her” they nodded “and Alex, you need to clean this wound” she said and cleaned her face “follow me, Winn needs your help, Lena. Maybe we can use your antidote, but we don’t have much time.”

 

“Do you think it could work?” Lena regained her posture and forced her brain to work, though it was going through a hellish migraine “we haven’t tested it in any tissue, we don’t know how it’s going to react.”

 

“I don’t see any other way out” they went upstairs and got into the lab, where Winn and Eve were focused on their respective microscope “we can make it work and hope it helps Kara recover.”

 

“Alex, I need you now” J’onn appeared by the door, looking at her gravely “the agents have arrived with the materials that were in the underground garage” he informed.

 

“Do you really need me?” she sighed “why don’t you put it aside and we can deal with it later” she limped to him, suggesting.

 

“Because we have a problem, one that can’t be kept in a warehouse or be put aside,” everyone in the lab turned to him, “maybe you want to see it with your own eyes.”

 

“Go, I’ll stay and work on the antidote” Lena reassured “I promise I’ll do my best, I promise I won’t rest until Kara is out of the woods” she was firm and Alex nodded. She trusted Lena more than she trusted herself.

 

“Don’t forget about Lizzie, she won’t like waking up and not seeing you” Alex reminded and Lena agreed, saying she’d take her soon to feed her.

 

While the surgery went on, Winn, Eve, Eliza and Lena did all they could to find a solution, before it was too late. Reign showed up later, but now as Sam, looking for her daughter and hugging her tight. Sam didn’t remember a lot and she was a bit grateful for that because as she entered the DEO, she knew they were grieving. Grief for someone who wasn’t even dead yet, but that had already sucked every energy and happiness in there. As she made sure Ruby was fine, Sam thanked Lois for keeping her girl safe and asked how Lizzie was, then she went looking for her girlfriend and when she found her on a stretcher, pale, her leg being stitched up, Sam’s heart skipped a beat.

 

Her eyes teared up.

 

“Hey…” Alex greeted. A few hours had passed since she had helped J’onn with the problem and then passed out because she had lost too much blood “I… I think I got a bit of a scratch…”

 

“Alex!” Sam sat next to her and pulled her for a tender, warm hug “I love you, so, so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you” she sobbed, letting her girlfriend caress her hair and hold her tight.

 

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere, I’m fine, just hurting a little” she tried to going her down “why are you crying?”

 

“I could have lost you” she confessed “I could have…”

 

“Don’t say that I’m here, okay?” she nodded and they hugged again “I love you and we still have our lives ahead of us. I’m not getting out of this marriage like that, you’re not getting rid of me so easily” they smiled.

 

“I can’t wait” Sam’s smile was honest and wide, knowing that, despite that arguing, fears, or insecurity, she would always be madly in love with that stubborn redhead “forever?”

 

“Forever” Alex learned to kiss her and groaned in pain “ugh… this hurts…”

 

 

 

 

***

 

“Lena, wake up” she felt a gentle tug on her body, not even realizing she had fallen asleep “Lizzie is crying and she needs you.”

 

“Hm?” Lena blinked twice and then stretched her body, hearing her shoulder’s crack and her back complain from the position “what time is it?”

 

“Eight and a half in the evening” Eliza answered and smiled sadly “Lois asked you to go to the resting room.”

 

“Any news?” she shook her head, holding back tears. It was too much for Eliza, to see her daughter stuck in a bed, unconscious, completely pale, it was too much for her heart.

 

Two weeks had passed since they injected Kara with the antidote. Two weeks since Supergirl was in a coma, motionless, breathing with the help of machines. They hadn’t put yellow light lamps, afraid it would be too much radiation on her body, but they made sure she would stay under the sun every morning, for at least a couple of hours. Lena hadn’t left the DEO ever since practically living there and giving in to her own depression. Sam started running L-Corp and organizing the issues regarding CatCo with James since that was the company's newest acquisition. The surprise Lena was going to make for her girlfriend went down the drain. Ruby continued to go to school, Alex was taking care of her daughter, working, and was being strong for her younger sister. It was hard, she couldn’t deny it, all she did late in the night was cry on her fiance’s shoulder and scream out in agony because the pain that sliced her chest was unbearable.

 

Almost lethal.

 

Everyone missed Kara’s happy humor, her silly jokes, her joy, energy, hope, and bravery. Her hopeful words were missed and even J’onn was struggling with the fact that he couldn’t protect her. Eliza was helping him in the process, giving him emotional support, even though she was on the brink of falling to pieces in that room where her little girl rested, where the only sound was her heartbeats echoing through the machine. The doctors said it was up to Supergirl now, she had to fight for her life now. Her situation was stable and that was thanks to the antidote Lena had managed to figure out, praying to all gods it would work. Kara had vein access on her arm, where a yellow liquid dropped, timed, non-stop. Two weeks without an answer.

 

Two weeks unsure if she would survive.

 

Lena stayed with her girlfriend basically the whole time, letting Lizzie play on the room’s carpet, crawl around the things and see her other mother, though not in the best of scenarios. Many times, the girl would cry, ask for her, she wanted Kara to wake up, she missed her mother, she missed her kisses goodnight, her lullabies. There were days Lena thought she couldn’t take it anymore and that she wasn’t strong enough to even take care of her own daughter. To see her baby call for her mother, babbling unintelligible things and sobbing was like sticking knives to her chest.

 

“I’ll be back soon, Kara” Lena kissed her cold hands and tried not to cry thinking that Kara had never felt so cold like that. She waited like she always did.

 

Hope never left her soul. Maybe if Lena waited a couple more minutes, her blue eyes would open up, or Kara would lightly squeeze her hands. Maybe her breath would sound longer, or she would move her finger, showing them that she was fighting.

 

She just wanted her to fight.

 

She just wanted her to come back.

 

“Kara” Lena whispered, her voice and courage almost gone “if you’re listening to me, you're not alone anymore. You're not that thirteen-year-old girl lost in the dark and the silence. Krypton isn’t dead, it’s alive in your heart, it’s inside your daughter and in the love you two share” her voice trembled and she heard Eliza cry behind her “Kara, let me take you out off the phantom zone in your mind, you aren’t alone, I’m here. Kara, please come back, we need you, your smile, your joy, all your positivity. Please, Kara. I love you, I can’t do this without you” her lips touched her hand again and she let Eliza take her place.

 

Lena walked outside to find Lois uselessly trying to make Lizzie laugh, though all the efforts were unsuccessful. Well, at least she wasn’t crying, Lois wasn’t the best with children but she did try her hardest. Lizzie’s blue eyes turned to her mother and she finally smiled.

 

“Mama, mama” she called with her hands and basically threw herself on her “mama!”

 

“Hey, my little kryptonian” Lena whispered tenderly “hungry, hm?”

 

“uh… ilk?” Lizzie babbled and poked her mother’s breast, making her laugh.

 

“Smartass” she kissed her cheeks “thank you for helping me with her” Lena turned to the woman “I truly don’t know how to thank you.”

 

“I know I’m not your best option, but just like you offered your help for me, I’m here for you too” Lois confessed “and I know it’s going to take a while for us to be friends, but… I’m stubborn.” She giggled awkwardly.

 

“Yeah… maybe one day” Lena sighed, too weak to argue. Lois was proving herself to be a different person and Lena just wanted to accept that “what is that noise?”

 

It wasn’t any noise and it was particularly strange for it to be coming from one of the labs. It was a shrilling, high-pitched, painful cry. Lena arched a brow and waited for an answer from the woman in front of her, who seemed unconcern, tapping on her phone and checking her texts, since Clark was coming and going to Metropolis, helping Lois keep the articles up on time and organizing her maternity leave and his paternity, they would both need it now that Kara was in a coma and the baby was on the way.

 

 

“Lois?”

 

“Hm?” she looked up “oh… that? Why don’t you go see it yourself?” she shrugged “I can’t believe you only noticed you, but I don’t blame you. Let’s just say that was the ‘product’ that the agents brought from one of Lex’s vaults, the one that Lilian had access to” Lois explained but it didn’t make sense.

 

“Okay” Lena decided it was better not to question her and excused herself, walking towards the last lab to the right, helping Lizzie hold the teddy bear her grandmother had given her some days ago. The crying got louder as she got closed, making her heart worried and beat faster.

 

Was that a baby?”

 

“Alex?” the agent was rocking a skinny, agitated body on her arms, trying to make the crying decrease “Alex, what’s going on?”

 

Alex turned around abruptly and just sighed because nothing seemed to calm it down. That was when Lena noticed the white, almost pale little face and the light blonde hair. The reddened wet cheeks were opposite to the rest of the body. It really was a baby. A little, fragile, defenseless being that cried out non-stop, asking for something no one understood and driving Alex inside. When J’onn said they had something from the vault, Alex thought he meant a nuclear weapon, a bomb, evil plans, money laundry or anything related to the job or that would put Lex for another hundred years behind bars. But it wasn’t anything like that.

 

Much on the contrary. J’onn handed her the weak, skinny body of a little unconscious baby girl, who could barely breathe.

 

Ever since that day, Alex gave all she had to save that baby, to figure out her origin and make sure she would be okay. As the little being got better, stronger, it became harder to control her nervous attacks. She didn't have a name, only the initials: ELDX-4. Running tests on her was an impossible job, feeding her became a burden, and even thinking about how much that baby could cry made Alex’s lifespan diminish five years. They researched every experiment done in that place and, of course, Lena helped, telling them everything she knew. When her mother said she would assemble two DNA’s, that she wanted an heir for Lex and that many embryos had died in the process, Lena never thought a baby could have survived.

 

What was Lilian thinking?

 

The crying yanked her away from her thoughts. The girl was losing air from the constant screaming and moved her legs as if she was in pain.

 

“Give me her a second” Lena requested and Alex frowned “take Lizzie.”

 

“If you insist” Alex wasn’t going to refuse, she was on the brink of giving up “hello, auntie’s girl” she smiled at her niece.

 

“Shh, it’s okay” Lena kissed the newborn’s head and sat on the couch “you need to calm down so I can help you” she undid her shirt and took her bra off, exposing her breast.

 

ELDX-4, as soon as she felt the scent of milk, she turned around and bit it hard, making Lena groan with the pain. The crying stopped and the silence was welcomed with joy from anyone who had to hear that for two whole weeks. The only sound was the suction coming out of the little baby’s mouth.

 

“That’s better huh?” Lena whispered tenderly to her “someone was starving” she turned to Alex and she smiled.

 

“Let’s just say I don’t have the supplies she needs,” Alex joked. Lizzie squirmed and glared at her mother feeding another baby “I don’t think Lizzie is too happy about this, Lena.”

 

“Mama?” Lizzie said confused and babbled other words.

 

“It’s the baby, Liz” Lena let her girl watch it up close, analyzing the newborn’s face and making her own conclusions “a baby, just like you, but smaller.”

 

“Apparently, she’s almost three months old,” Alex informed. “By the way, I’m going to use the time you’re feeding her to draw the blood sample I need.”

 

“Do you think she’s my niece?” Lena asked out of the blue, getting Alex by surprise “do you think she’s Lex’s daughter?”

 

“I don’t know, to be honest” she sighed “all I know is that she’s kryptonian, that’s for sure. I can’t penetrate her skin and apparently, she’s immune to kryptonite” Lena’s eyes widened “I didn’t test it, let me make it clear. Let’s just say I had a little accident and everything is settled know” Alex defended herself, letting her niece crawl on the floor and reaching for a small suitcase.

 

Lizzie crawled to her mother’s legs and climbed them with difficulty until she was standing up and managed to keep watching the girl that was occupying her place. Alex put on the rubber gloves and got the syringe ready, positioning some red light lamps over them and trying to move as fast as possible. The last thing Alex needed was for that unknown baby alien to start crying again and create more chaos in the DEO. Her blood was taken to the small flasks, Alex placing small samples on various blades and putting them inside a huge machine. Lena balanced her daughter on one leg and EDLX-4 on her arm, trying to give them both attention, though all her attention was truly on what Alex was doing now.

 

“So?” Lena arched a brow and watched her move around “Alex?”

 

“Did you want an answer?” Alex placed a hand on her hip “I’m running the DNA tests.”

 

Lena looked at the little baby and she couldn’t deny it, she was beautiful. Delicate features, her eyebrows so clear they were almost invisible, pink cheeks, blonde white hair, little strong hands. It reminded her of when Lizzie was small like that.

 

A beep echoed on the lap and Alex got the results, reading the paper attentively and her breath hitching gradually.

 

“Alex?” Lena was alert “Alex, whose daughter is she?”

 

She received a scared, confused look in return.

 

“Alex, you’re scaring me” Lena searched her face for answers “she’s my niece, isn’t she? Did Lilian make it? Is she Superman’s daughter?” she spat out the words faster than her thoughts “Alex!”

 

“No…” she took a deep breath and walked to her, handing her the results “read this.”

 

Lena felt like she was going to pass out. She felt her body shut off and her blood pressure dropped slowly.

 

“She…” she swallowed dry “she’s my daughter with Kara.”

 

“Congratulations?”

 

And so her whole world slipped through her fingers.

 

Again.

Notes:

Don't forget to leave kudos and comments!

(don't shoot me I'm just the translator)

Chapter 31: Your love is turning my page

Notes:

Before we begin, I do want to apologize for last week's cliffhanger (buuut also want to thank all the love!!)

Hope this chapter redeems it! Enjoy!

Chapter Text

Lena wasn’t sure how long she stayed there, staring at the paper with the reason why her fears were crawling up her throat again. It was like reliving a nightmare. The same fears, the same frustrations, and a feeling of being violated. Sure, the baby in arm arms hadn't been generated by her, specifically, but it was hers. The girl with pinkish lips, blank yellow hair, and grey eyes was her daughter as much as Lizzie was hers and the worst part wasn’t even only finding out about it almost three months later, but the desperation of having to deal with it on her own. Once again, Kara wasn’t there and her situation got worse every minute of waiting, no doctor affirmed she would wake up and, if she did wake up, it was impossible to come out of it without any concerning side-effects.

Her hands were shaking and the sucking noise of her breast slowed down gradually, showing that the little baby had fallen asleep, while Lizzie played with some rubber gloves on the floor. Lena looked at Alex, then at Lizzie, and finally at the girl resting in her arms. What had her life become? Why couldn’t she have one moment of peace? And why was it so difficult for people to respect her personal space? Lena didn’t want another daughter! She didn’t want to go through it again, to take care of another fragile, dependent person, she didn’t want that. There were still traces of her grudge and anger from when she was pregnant without her consent, but not she didn’t even have the choices from before. Okay, could Lena put that girl up to adoption? Yes, she could, but now that she knew how hard it was to take care of a kryptonian child, how would she entrust a stranger to do it?

No, Lena thought to herself, she needed to focus. She needed to take a deep breath, shove all of her emotions inside little boxes deep into her soul and deal with that situation in a mature way. She didn’t have to decide anything yet, she didn’t want to decide anything, Lena was sure she wouldn’t make the right choice and that would haunt her for the rest of her life. First, Lena had to make sure the baby was okay and so, her brain, backed up by her motherly heart, began thinking about everything she needed to keep the baby as healthy as possible. God knows how long she was stuck in that vault and how much time she spent without proper food. Lena remembered Lizzie at two months and a half. She was so flabby, with big cheeks and legs, but ELDX-4 was skinny, small, and did not look three months old.

While Kara remained unconscious, Lena would do whatever it took to take care of the other child. When she felt it was time to decide, or if she realized it was too much, Lena would come clean to the agent. She did not have the heart or emotional balance to be a mother again.

“Lena?” Alex regained her attention, pulling her out from those confusing thoughts “are you okay?”

“Yes?” Lena arched a brow “Alex…”

“I know…”

“I don’t want to be a mother again, Alex” she admitted “I didn’t ask for this, I-I’m… I don’t…” she sighed, anxious and utterly lost, her eyes tearing up “I can’t…” 

“I’m so sorry” Alex sat by her side and watched her niece throw plastic tubes on the floor “it’s like reliving hell again, isn’t it?”

“Almost like it” Lena nodded and looked at her, hopeless “how can I do this without… without her? H-how…” she gulped and sighed “s-she… I can’t and Lizzie is so small! I’m exhausted, I don’t sleep, I have to be there a hundred percent of the time for my daughter. How will I handle a newborn?”

Alex sighed quietly and, for the first time, didn’t quite know what to answer. That situation was asking too much from all of them. Eliza barely left the DEO, helping at the labs and taking care of her granddaughter, trying to not break down when she visited Kara at the medical ward. Kara’s heartbeat sounds were the only thing keeping the fire of hope burning in National City. Supergirl had disappeared, everybody missed her. The crimes went on, the bad guys were restless, and, for the first time, the DEO  was skipping some responsibilities. But J’onn didn’t have the same energy now, the liveliness that he found once the Danvers became a part of his life was slowly dying.

Dying with his daughter by heart. Dying with Kara.

He didn’t sleep, prayed in the resting room, organized missions with the agents, and was always silent. No one dared to step into his personal space. Alex was the only one who managed to hug him and Eliza the only one who got him to vent come times. Winn started to spend more time in the department, he had assembled a team with Eve and Eliza to perfect the antidote and get something that would somehow help to save his best friend’s life. Though sweet and sensitive, Winn was never as strong as now. Eve felt a bit out of place in the subject, not quite understanding why everyone cared so much about the woman, especially her new boss, Lena Luthor. But she remained quiet and kept the doubts to herself, choosing to respect their unexplained dynamic.

Clark still traveled down to Metropolis and asked his friend Bruce Wayne for help regarding the city’s protection. He explained to him that he needed to step down from his obligations urgently, that it was a matter of life or death and he couldn't abandon his family. Not again. The pain from leaving Kara behind years ago still haunted his dreams, especially because he could’ve helped her. He would have taught her the human culture, taught her how to use her powers, to control them, and mostly, he could've been there for her. But, for an unknown reason to him, being with Kara scared him, scared him a lot, and not because he knew nothing about Krypton or that he didn’t feel like part of it or that he wasn’t strong like her. His eyes always teared up when he imagined a thirteen-year-old girl having to take care of a baby and his blood boiled when he thought about Alura and Zor-El’s audacity to put that responsibility on a child’s shoulder.

It wasn’t fair, it never was. And Kal-El didn’t find himself worth it, sometimes, of carrying the symbol of his house. Though there was some resentment on his part, his biggest anguish came from the realization that the roles had inverted. When Kara Zor-El landed on Earth, Kal had the opportunity to do what she would have done for him, but he didn't. He chose to hide behind a red cape, go back to Metropolis, and leave her with people who would take care of her better than Clark ever could have. That was the truth, all these years he remained away because he wasn’t good enough for his cousin, because he wasn’t brave like him nor as fearless to accept a mission like that. One that his cousin, at thirteen, took on without even knowing the consequences.

But that was Kara, his sweet, lovely, extraordinary cousin. She was the one who deserved the hero status. She was the one deserving of the House of El.

And Superman cursed himself every day for not having the same attitude as his cousin all these years ago.

Lois was still a bit out of place but they both knew that was a mere consequence of her actions. Her belly was growing and bothering her every day more and more, making her back hurt and her feet swollen. Damned timing to be pregnant, was what Lois thought to herself. Her heart broke in little pieces every time when she had to hold her shattered boyfriend, crying and saying how guilty he felt and how he couldn’t handle another loss. Lois couldn’t say she knew what he felt like because she had never gone through anything like that, but she was complacent and empathetic, and she loved him, so she tried to take his pain as hers. It was during those days at the DEO that Lois learned more about every person present in the girl of steel’s life. She understood that, though not connected by blood, Alex would give her life, without hesitation to her little sister. She understood that Lena didn’t have one thing in common with her family, except for the last name

But mostly, Lois understood that family wasn’t always perfect and maybe she was being unfair even to herself.

Little by little, Lois got used to it, offering help with Lizzie, learning more about being a mother, and admiring Lena for being so lovely and warm in time when being cold and distant were only options to survive in her capitalist selfish world. Lena showed a maturity that Lois had never seen before, one that she wished she had. She didn’t lie when she said she was jealous, she felt it in her guts every time she saw Lena dealing with petty people. Lena had all the reasons in the world to be bad, and still, she chose to be extraordinary. Kara didn’t fall for her for no reason, and Lois had never seen two people fit so well together.

Sam, well, Sam was Sam. The strong woman that despite all her pains, managed to stay focused and hold the people who needed her the most. She missed Kara, her sympathy, her lively way of seeing the world, Sam could even say Reign missed the hero, though she would never admit it. During the day, Sam took care of L-Corp, attending necessary meetings and catching Jess up in everything regarding the company. In the secretary’s understanding, Kara was just very sick and needed all the support from her girlfriend. In the afternoon, Sam would go to the DEO to help Lena with Lizzie, though she knew Eliza was there, she didn’t want to stay away from them. Alex picked Ruby up at school and stayed with her most afternoons, checking her homework and studying with her, waiting for Sam to come back home, since Reign, though not working with or for the DEO, accepted the job of taking over Supergirl’s place temporarily. Before going to bed, Alex and Sam would watch a movie together, or talk and let their love for each other be strong enough to keep them fighting at that time.

Alex, on the other hand, laid all her hope in the words Sam would tell her before bed. Her posture wasn’t of a strong, intimidating agent anymore, she had lost weight, over eleven pounds those two weeks, losing energy and her slightly tanned skin, gotten from fighting next to her sister under the sun. It wasn’t the same, being there when the red-caped, blond-haired hero wasn’t going to show up. It hurt her, every time she thought of saying goodbye to her sister, of making a choice that would rip her heart out. In her nightmares, Alex would talk to the doctors, she would ask for more time, just another week and they’d distantly affirm that Kara couldn’t handle another minute. And so, she would have to choose.

To turn off the machines keeping her alive and let her sister finally rest.

Forever.

She looked at Lena, a mix of feelings overcoming her body. Another daughter, Alex thought to herself.  How did that happen? She sighed. Alex didn’t know what to say, how to comfort her, but she also wouldn’t let Lena choose the wrong path, she loved her too much for it. Alex promised Kara she would take care of her, she’d keep her safe, and would never leave her alone. The little baby slept soundly, her little hands grabbing Lena’s hands, her little feet cuddled next to her body, still cold. What did that little baby go through? What must’ve been like, to stay almost three months inside an abandoned, dark cold vault? Alex couldn’t even lie about her anger and frustration when she thought about it too much. Maybe they could’ve found her sooner, fought harder, insisted more, and just been more clever. Maybe then, the baby wouldn’t have suffered so much and would be safer.

“I honestly… I don't know what to say” Alex murmured and Lena intertwined their fingers “without Kara it feels… it feels like nothing makes sense and I know it’s bad to say that…” they looked at each other “because I have Sam, Ruby, you and Lizzie, a family.”

“I know how you feel” Lena leaned her head on her shoulder and closed her eyes, one tear falling at a time “I don’t want to do this without her, Alex” she whispered and Alex allowed herself to cry too.

“What… what I can say to you, Lena, is that Kara would trust you, even if your decision made her upset. She’d repeat every day how strong you became and how much she loves you, even when she doesn’t agree with your choices” Alex let the words come out “I won’t interfere and I know you’ll do the best, just like you did for Lizzie. If you want me to help you with adoption papers, I will. I’ll whatever it takes for you to not be alone, but I… I want you to consider something, for me” she asked beggingly, and Lena wouldn't say no to one of the people she loved the most.

“Anything for you” Lena murmured. Lizzie crawled to her auntie and asked for attention as she noticed the tears on the woman’s face.

Alex smiled and carried the baby up to her face, kissing her cheeks and letting her touch her face, as if comforting her, telling her everything was going to be alright.

“I know it’s an immense responsibility, I realized it once Ruby started seeing me as her mom” Alex commented “I had a different concept for it, one that was completely unreal and utopic, because practice is so different from theory. You’re taught that maternal instincts simply come at some point and teach you how to think, act, choose and do what’s best, but no. I got so frustrated!” she laughed “I failed and failed again, and when I thought I was getting it right, I got it wrong again” she shook her head “I think that’s what being a mother is: a series of mistakes. Because for your children, it’s never too late to try again and make mistakes again” Lizzie leaned on her chest and began playing with her necklace “this baby spent three months not knowing what it’s like to be held by a mother” Alex said and Lena looked at her with surprise by the subject's turn “she never knew what it’s like to be safe and sound inside someone’s belly, or what it’s like to hear your mother’s voice for the first time, to feel your fingers caress the belly she was supposed to be in or know she cried as you heart her heartbeat for the first time. God, she never even heard your heart!” then Lena understood where she was getting. It wasn’t just a matter of putting her needs aside, it was understanding that everyone was suffering in that situation “for three months, this El kid was alone, eating God knows what, without any warmth, touch, or love that every child deserves. I can’t stop thinking about how cold that vault was and how scary it must’ve been to be in that quiet dark.”


Just like Kara, Lena thought to herself. And all her walls fell down.

The baby had gone through exactly what Kara had for twenty-four years. Not a day or two. Twenty-four years. That is 8.760 days, 210.240 hours, and 12.614.400 seconds of solitude.

Lena closed her eyes and picture Kara completely surprised for having another child, another little being that had her blonde hair and would call her yeyu just like Lizzie did. Lena pictured her being understanding to her fears, knowing exactly how to deal with her anxiety and her body being indirectly violated. Kara would certainly kiss her head, affirm they were capable of taking care of another one and that El, as Alex had called her, deserved to get what she never had. Kara would understand. Kara would be the strong, brave person in that relationship. Kara would never let someone of her blood be left behind like she was in the past. Because there was nothing worse than facing life alone.

“El?” Lena questioned and Alex blushed.

“Uh… it’s easier than ELDX-4, don’t you think” she had a point “and she deserves to be treated like a human being, not a scientific project.”

“You’re right” Lena looked at the baby again, and then at Lizzie, who was now almost falling asleep “someone is tired” Lena fixed the girl’s hair, falling over her eyes “how did they find her? And how do you know what she's been through?”

“Hm… let’s just say it’s a long story” Alex sighed, but she knew Lena wouldn’t let her get away without an answer “let’s just say that… El told me?”

“Alex, she doesn’t even know how to speak” Lena pointed out as if she was talking to a child “explain this better.”

“Well” she scoffed, “the agents found her inside the other vault that opened when you touched that panel. Theoretically speaking, it was a room and inside it were the prototypes of the incubators, and the notes regarding the research done and the lab procedures. There were three medical cribs, some biological waste and then glass recipients with aborted fetuses” Alex frowned, remembering the vision with disgust “everything was brought in here and it’s on the other room” she exposed “J’onn brought her in carefully because El was skinny, languished and crying quietly, too weak to even complain. We don’t know how she survived, actually, we didn’t know…” Lena arched a brow “that was when we decided to access her memory, unsure, of course, after all, J’onn can read minds, but not kryptonian ones, they have to allow it” she nodded, remembering that Kara had told her that once “turns out that this child is different…”

“Different how?” Lena rocked the baby on her arms, doing it carefully to not wake her and fixing up her shirt.”

“She showed him what those three months were like” Alex sighed “I… I don’t know how to explain it, but it was like… like she was speaking with his mind, showing him the scenes and letting him see through her eyes!”

“But that’s impossible” Lena retorted “right?”

“I don’t know… I’ve been studying  Lizzie’s DNA and apparently there isn't anything there as proof that the powers she can have will develop, but…” Alex hesitated, her courage vanished, she had never bought that subject up with Lena. It was never the time and there had never been any real concern.

“Alexandra, what are you hiding?” she felt her spine shiver with that tone. Fuck, it was already bad when Sam did it.

“Calm down, okay? Lizzie isn’t in any danger” Alex answered quickly.

“But?” Lena cocked her brow again “there’s always a but.”

“Her DNA changes every day” and that sounded even more impossible “it’s like it is regenerated every day in a different way. We know that the core of our cells is always reading proteins and using our genetic material and it’s renewed all the time, but hers isn’t that simple” she explained “I tested more kryptonite and other radioactive substances on it and it simply finds an immediate answer to protect itself against them, like… like it finds the cure as soon as it identifies the problem, and that has nothing to do with her immune system because her antibodies, leukocytes, white blood cells, and all the others are functioning normally. The DNA is the only thing changing once her blood receives unknown radiation.”

Lena looked at her sleeping daughter, still holding her aunt's necklace and peacefully breathing. That was her little hero, the reason why Lena didn’t give up for the hurt. The reason why she was still alive. Lena didn’t understand her strength or knew for sure what the combination of her DNA as Kara’s would be capable of. There still so many unanswered questions, some many avoided doubts. It was like walking with your eyes folded, trusting it all on your instincts and being bound to accept that, maybe life was like that. Lena sighed, tired, and tried to think away from the familiar upcoming migraine, she focused on the rational part of her body. She needed to find out what that all meant.

“Okay, let’s circle back to the Lizzie subject later” her CEO posture came back and Alex recomposed herself as well  “I need to know why my… Lilian” she quickly corrected “had my DNA and she simply chose to make a daughter of mine.”

“According to what I read in her notes, Lilian still didn’t have enough resources to combine Superman and Lex’s DNA” Alex explained “and getting your DNA and Kara’s wasn’t a hard job since she had been in your house, but that isn’t the issue. Without Lizzie’s blood, Lilian couldn’t know for sure if it would work, or how the organism would react to the juxtaposition.”

“That’s why she kidnapped those men” she nodded “and then, after testing various ways of combining DNA in their bodies, she erased it all with radiation and released them to die.”

“And to create a distraction” Alex continued “she probably got something out of it and moved to the second part of the plan, which was some sort of in vitro fertilization. There were many failures, and of course, even when she overcame a biological obstacle, the incubator wasn’t enough to keep the fetus alive. She needed more answers because combining two male cells doesn’t work the same way as combining female ones, we all know that the X chromosome is a hundred times more resistant than the Y one and that we, women who have the XX chromosomes, and one of them are dormant, so there isn’t any decompensation” it is pure science, Lena thought to herself. And it made complete sense “creating a child that comes from two Y’s was an impossible task with Lilian’s resources and so, she needed Lizzie’s blood.”

“Or to join my DNA and Kara’s again, to know how the processes worked.” Eureka!

“Exactly.”

“And it worked.”

“Yeah… it worked” they looked at the tiny blonde “Lilian probably didn’t expect to succeed in this experiment, but it did and she had to work her ways not to let this girl die. However, her focus wasn’t a girl parented by Supergirl and her youngest daughter, but Lex’s kid.

“That’s why she was forgotten in the vault” Lena murmured, more to herself than to Alex, feeling an ascending rage in her chest.

An instinct of maternal protection that even Lena had never felt so.

How was Lilian capable of an atrocity like that to a defenseless child? That was her daughter, a part of her, and the hate boiling in her heart was directed to the fact that Lena hadn’t been there to protect her as she did with Lizzie. Her arms embraced the girl’s skinny body tighter, as if trying to keep her away from the wide cruel world she had already met too soon. Lena didn’t want to be a mother, not again, but that wish wasn’t enough to keep her soul from accepting that feeling as if it was the greatest gift in the universe. El, or ELDX-4, wasn’t to blame for what Lilian had done and she didn’t deserve to be alone. While deciding how to proceed, Lena was going to be the mother that she needed. The mother that the little kryptonian, blonde like Supergirl, wanted to have.

“I’m going to take care of her, for now,” Lena said firmly “I’m going to pick some old clothes from Lizzie at my place, going to accompany every exam and I don’t want you to hide anything from me” her mama bear mode was activated “and, about Lizzie, I need you to tell me everything you found. They’re my daughters, Alex, and I won’t allow them to be helpless” Alex nodded quickly “and I also want to ask you a favor.”

“Does it involve the police?” Alex joked, making Lena smile, even when surrounded by so much sadness.

“Maybe, but not in the way you think” Lena breathed out, anxiety crippling in her throat again, sticking its pointy nails in her vocal cords “you have to keep it a secret.”

Alex knew that was serious business and that secrets never ended well, but she trusted Lena.

 

***

 

The winter’s sun was high and shining strongly, contrasting the freezing strong wind blowing on that December day. Lena could barely remember a year ago since that time felt so distant and was vanishing from her memory. Sure, certain pains and feelings were still alive inside her chest, beating next to her cardiac muscle and sending blood to the rest of her body. Lena embraced her ribs and arms again, breathing in the air that never seemed to completely fill her linds. It was like being suffocated, but without any strong hands on her neck, pressing her jugular, making her skin paler. The thick, heavy jacket only made the burden even more unbearable, leaving Lena alone to her questioning thoughts as to why she was there, standing in front of a giant grey building, surrounded by a practically unbreakable security system.

Almost unbreakable.

The car door closing pulled her out of her distant confusing thoughts and reality hit her in the face. Lena needed to go in and finish what she had started now, there was no turning back. She walked with her head up to the entrance, taking off her sunglasses and identifying herself, as all visitors must do. Her lawyer and a security guard accompanied her down the cold dark hallways, neither of them even breathing too loudly, scared the walls would break by their invasion. It felt like a sin, to think about having peace in that place because that wasn’t the goal inside Metropolis’s maximum-security prison. The sound of voices filled the third floor and Lena could see three guards sitting around a table. They got up, made a few pertinent questions about the visit’s authorization, and then cleared the Luthor in, finally.

Maybe, in her subconsciousness, Lena didn’t want to be there anymore, and maybe she was praying for any divine being to interfere, not allowing her to take one more step forward. But, much to her despair and relief, an interesting and terrifying mix of contradiction, her belongings were taken from her, just like her jacket, and a taller guard, dark-skinned with hazel eyes, looked at her with suspicion. Not even inside a place like that Lena was free from the judgments attached to her name. Who knows, what if they enjoyed the opportunity and locked her up too? What if they never let her out? What if that was all a grand scheme to end her happiness once and for all and take her away from her girls forever?

Lena snarled at herself. How undignified of herself, to think life didn’t know how to play her game. Her freedom didn’t matter, Lena wouldn’t even complain if she was convicted to stay in a solitary cell for the rest of her life, obliged to live with her ghosts and demons. Nope, motherfucking life knew how to play her, what to take from her, which pieces to move in the black and whiteboard. One move and the queen dies. One move and it all ends. Checkmate.

Forever.

“Call us if you need anything, Ms. Luthor” the grave, the dry voice informed her, making Lena’s hairs rise in panic.

She took a deep breath again, counting to ten in her mind, and then, she saw him. Blue eyes, pale skin, hands crossed over his head, the weight of the chains attached to his wrists. His face was still the same as if he was still sitting on Luthor-Corp’s presidential chair, in uptown Metropolis. Intimidating, irreverent, and terrifying. Lex never lost his posture, that being in a business meeting or during a holiday. Lena sighed, when was the last time she had had that? She didn’t know. He still had that superior energy, the genius boy who defied against a great scientist on his college science fair. The boy who taught her most of what she knew at that time and was her prime example for years, just like he was now her prime disappointment.

The yellowish light on the room made his skin look rough, oldened, and sick. Well, he was sick. The marks of time under his eyes were visible, the same way his cheekbones were more protuberant and the orange clothes looked large on his skinny arms. That was her brother, the boy who helped her overcome the nightmares from her first years in the mansion. Lena didn’t know what to feel, what to say or how to excuse her visit. It would be comical, if it weren’t tragic, to just arrive and say that Lilian had died in a way that not even Lena knew much about, that neither Reign nor Alex commented on how she had died. They didn’t even say that she was gone, but Lena could feel it; her absence.

Lex raised his head and smiled like he always used to, not showing too much sympathy, but not too little. The chessboard was set on the metal desk, the pieces in their respective place, and the implicit invitation could not be more clear. It was their best way to find a balance between their divergent lives and opinions. Leaving her fears aside, Lena sat down graciously and crossed her legs, back sparked up in an impressive posture, her hair perfectly tied up and clothes well pressed. The first move was made and their brains began working, organizing their strategies and smart, witty paths for the victory. Of course, they were familiar with each other's habits and paid attention to the minor details, such as Lena always chose to start by sacrificing a pawn and then going into action with the more important pieces, not caring if that was just one rook or the queen alone. Whilst Lex preferred to act in the sideline and diagonal, trying ways to corner Lena without her realizing. Chess was a game of insight, logic, and time.

And it was the Luthors’ favorite.

But Lex noticed how shaken up sister was, with bags under her eyes, though thoughtfully covered under makeup and her skin looked paler. Lex always found her incredibly beautiful, owner of unique traces and eyes more worthy than emerald. Lena captivated his heart as soon as she arrived, but he couldn’t keep nurturing that feeling, because good things always ended and he needed to focus on work. He wouldn’t lie if he was asked who was the smartest out of them, Lena was, even when she was far behind when regarding development and studying, she could overcome him with ease. And he was proud of her for that, and he would never say it out loud. Lena was quick to understand any subject, no matter how ingenious and disobedient, she never missed her appointments and always dealt with the consequences of her actions, doing it so quietly and keeping it discreet.

That was when he noticed a little golden chair hanging around her neck, one with a pin of a girl and a dog. Curiosity hit his hand and after a few minutes of mental labor, he decided to be the first to speak.

“A daughter?” He waited for her to move the knight and sighed. Lena arched a brow and looked at him.

“Well… two” she was honest, fidgeting with the necklace and waiting for Lex’s next move.

“You didn’t seem like the type of girl that wanted to be a mother” he commented, not being intentionally mean, but because he knew her. Or at least he thought so.

“Because I never had one” she shot back gravely “how can I be something if I never had the basics to be so?”

“To learn how to ride a bike, all you need is a bike” he smiled victoriously and Lena smiled back.

“You always win at arguments” that was a fact. The competition never ended.

“But never at chess” He retorted, seeing Lena overthrow his queen with mastery.

“Checkmate” Lena chanted and Lex leaned back on the chair, groaning with pain and dragging the chain on the dark floor.

“So… Supergirl?” she was already expecting that question.

“Surprised?” Lena chose irony “usually a brother would go for questions like ‘a woman?’” he snarled.

“Lena, I've known about your preferences since you were fourteen and you brought that girl over to study, though you already knew on that subject” he exposed her, like a good old brother.

Or almost

“Guilty as charged” they smiled “I thought you were going to try to convince me to let her die, to remove her from my life” and there it was her fear words. Lena was prepared for a fight, an argument, to scream at him and confess how much she loved Kara Danvers.

But it never came.

“I could, but would it make a difference?” Lex asked and she sighed, looking down and playing with her white queen “I thought so. Also, I’m dying and I wanted to have someone that wasn’t going to quit on me now, but even I already did it on my own.”

“I’m here” Lena answered faster than she thought and he laughed again.

“Don’t lie to me” he breathed out “showing mercy now is a waste of time.”

“You know I always cared about you” Lena cut him, raising her voice to overlap his “you were the one who left, who left me behind, and simply started something that sucked the life out of you.”

“I am aware of that and you know I don't regret anything” his decisions were made and that hurt Lena more than she could possibly express “I won’t say my opinions on your relationship with Supergirl because you’re a grown woman who knows what she’s doing. I respect your decision here and now because I don’t have the time or strength to change your mind” he confessed “and to be honest, it seems life is already handling that part well, isn’t it? Just like how it is dealing with me” and that was all it took to shatter Lena.

“Lex, I can’t lose her” she admitted quietly “I… I just can’t.”

“You can, the difference is that you don’t want to” Lex shrugged. “I’m dying but you’re not reacting like that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous, just trying to prove a point” Lena swallowed her tears and tried to regain whatever posture she had left “it’s hurting because you don’t want to let her go, don’t you get it? You don’t cry for my upcoming death because, deep down, you already accept how it is, you already let me go.”

“Because I lost you years ago” she confessed, broken “I can’t lose something I don’t have.”

“Fair enough” Lex was shaken. Truth was, even he had accepted death with open arms, his disease was fatal and it was corroding his soul from inside out “what happened to her?”

“Kryptonite” she sighed “we couldn’t get it out in time and the radiation hit her organism too fast. She’s in a coma and we don’t know if…” her voice trembled “if she’s going to wake up.”

“Hm” he got lost in his thoughts, reorganizing the board again in an internal necessity to do at least two things at the same time “I heard you two have a biological daughter.”

“You heard” Lena laughed sarcastically “of course you know, Lilian wouldn’t keep this kind of secret from you.”

“Of course not, but that’s not the point” they began playing again and this time, Lex chose another tactic “what is her DNA like? Must be interesting to find out how the human gene behaves around a kryptonian one.”

“Let’s say it’s still unknown, but we're studying to manage to understand what Lizzie is going to be like when she grows up” Lena moved a bishop.

“Can you tell me more things?” she looked at him with confusion “for scientifical means, I need food for the brain.”

“Okay,” she sighed and then told in detail how they found out that the girl was immune to a kryptonian’s only weakness. Lena told him about her powers, how she had perfect control over them, and mostly, how Lena had tried to put together a serum to make Kara immune as well. She even talked about her symptoms during pregnancy, making it clear that super hearing was not a good thing “and now, apparently, her DNA changes every instant.”

“Interesting” Lex leaned over the table, groaning any time he bent his arms or moved too abruptly “about that antidote, what did you use?”

“I tried to analyze how the DNA combining happened, genetically recombining both, but, unfortunately, it wasn’t strong enough to work on her blood” Lena cornered his king and smiled proud “we’re trying to find something that will act just right and will help her immune system to fight, but so far, we got nothing.”

“In science, nothing can mean everything, Lena” he pointed out and moved his last standing rook “why a recombination?”

“Because it was the way of getting to an answer?” Lena arched a brow, suddenly interested in his thoughts.

“Why formulate something you already have?” Lex spoke as if it was obvious “think and try to find the answer you need so much.”

Lena leaned back on the chair, feeling her spine complain about the position, and then gritted her teeth, dissatisfied with herself. Where was Lex getting with all of that? What did he mean by saying she already had the answer for months-long of work?” Her brain sped up the synapses as if she was racing for her life. Which wasn’t very far from the truth. She traced her velvet-colored lips, losing herself in the thousands of hypotheses being formed every second. Lex moved his knight again, getting in the perfect position to take out her queen. It was her turn to move.

And so she did.

“How long… until…” Lena couldn’t ask it properly.

“Enough to know I don’t want to see you again” that time together wasn’t bad, but he didn’t want to see his sister more hurt than she already was “I’m glad you came and that is enough.”

“Lex…”

“No, Lena!” He was firm. “I want you to get out of here, to be the best version of yourself, regardless if Kara remains here or not. Life doesn’t stop and it will catch up with you when you’re least expecting it. Raise your head up, use the intelligence I know you have, and find what you need. You have two daughters, right? Lizzie?” she nodded, startled by her brother's change of tone “don’t let her think her mother is weak. Luthors aren’t weak, Lizzie needs to know that and she, for sure, has a great example” he sighed, coughing hard and squirming on the chair “the last thing I want is to see you here, got it?”

“Whatever you want, Lex” Lena simply agreed, though she knew losing a person she loved that much would hurt like hell.

“The answer is right under your nose” Lex looked down at her necklace again and a sudden idea crept into her head.

Shit!

Lena got up quickly and called the guard outside. The man nodded and unlocked the door. Lena observed her older brother, done, digging his own grave, alone and dealing with the weight of his wrong choices. She couldn’t save him, there was no saving for someone that had already accepted their end. All Lena could do was hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him, that she forgave his abandonment, that she still believed in that young genius boy who made her laugh quietly on the boring gala balls and made her feel part of the family.

That he made her feel loved.

Lex closed his eyes and felt her cold lips touch his cheeks lightly, and he didn’t look at her. He wouldn’t dare to. Lena stepped back and looked at the board, it was her turn. With a single movement, Lena smiled, and then his blue eyes met her warm green ones. He was looking at her with pride.

“Checkmate.”

 


***

 

Kara felt stuck, lost and was no longer able to define her emotions. She felt everything, and nothing at all, as if mixing them all together resulted in nothingness. It was strange, and the clenching feeling in her chest made her think something was wrong. She couldn’t feel time anymore, couldn’t tell day from night. She didn’t know if it had only been an hour, two days, or five months, it was all stuck inside a silent, bothersome lethargy. The silence was the part that scared Kara the most. The void, the dark, the silence, and all the demons hiding in the shadows. Kara knew them, she had memorized their names, they were almost friends if that word could apply to what she meant.

For years, Kara avoided dealing with them, choosing to believe there was nothing under her bed, or inside her closet, because there truly wasn’t. It was ridiculous and even dumb for human beings to believe monsters lived in physical places, when in fact, they prefer souls. Her monsters were always keeping her company in her mind, wandering through her heart and playing with her feelings, making Kara believe all she would ever know was fear. So, Kara ignored them, chose to think they didn’t exist, and lived her life the way everyone around her said to be correct. She was a good citizen, she hid her powers, she pretended to be someone she wasn’t, and killed part of herself as she accepted that her history had ended with her planet.

But didn't it? Wouldn’t she have died next to her parents? Could it all be just a dream? Well, it could be. Being Supergirl, falling for Lena, having Alex as a sister, getting to meet Winn, James and Lizzie. Oh, Lizzie, the best thing that had ever happened to Kara. Her daughter looked a lot like something her mind would make up to relieve the pain she was feeling if she was still stuck in the phantom zone. Did Kara even leave the phantom zone? It would make sense, of course. Maybe her cousin had never shown up because her pod never landed on Earth, then Kara never met her foster parents, never shared a room with her always sister, never saved her from a plane crash, never fell in love with Lena Luthor, and never had a beautiful girl with dark hair and blue eyes as a daughter. It would make sense, Kara repeated to herself.

Because she couldn’t feel anything, it was like her chest was empty.

And it was dark, there were no walls, no corners, no beginning or end. It was literally nothing. Not even the stars shone there. Then, where would her pod be now? Would it have sunk in a dead area of space? Or just sank inside her soul? Sometimes nothing is darker than the self. Kara tried to touch the air and realized it was light, easy to inhale and there was nothing around it. Though she wanted to move, her feet didn’t obey her and her limbs felt heavy. Kara sighed, confused, and tried again, though scared of diving into that void. She couldn’t see the ground, but a part of her just wanted to believe there was a floor to step onto safely. She just had to try, believe, and go on/

And she tried.

And then it all changed, Kara could hear voices, all different. They weren’t unknown, on the contrary, Kara recognized them and that’s why it all changed. The voices could pull her from the blue thoughts about the situation she was in. But, no matter how strong or repetitive and inviting the familiar voices were, Kara couldn’t follow them, nor talk back. Her body continued to move forward, always forward. In her heart, the feeling of both emptiness and about to flood contrasted each other and battle in a too great war, too noisy. Maybe it was the sound of her soul screaming for help, or maybe it was her fear, laughing because she had never dared to kill it, only hide it. And one way or another, it was going to eat her alive.

Once again, the scenes changed and Kara found herself standing in a wide, open green field, with a few trees and mountains rising far away. Her clothes were now white, her bare feet could feel the lively earth kiss her skin, and finally, the darkness eased, leaving Kara with an abandoned feeling. But she knew that it wasn’t gone, in fact, it had always lived within. Within her chest. Kara took a deep breath and tried to hear something, but there was only a weak voice calling her. Unlike before, Kara couldn’t tell if she knew t.at the voice, but her heart raced. She closed her eyes and focused, hearing the voice again in a weak, velvet tone, call out, scream, wail, and beg for something she didn’t understand.

What was it saying? What did those words mean? For Rao’s sake, where was she?

Kara wanted to cry, but she couldn’t, apparently, tears didn’t exist in that place. She wanted to scream but didn’t have the strength, because she didn’t know what to scream for.

“She’s calling for you again” a high-pitched, quiet voice startled Kara “she’s always calling out, aren’t you going to answer?”

Kara turned to the little blonde girl, her hair slightly wavy, playing with toys on the ground. Kara frowned and studied her. Why did she feel like she already knew her?

“What?” Kara was surprised by her own voice and touched her throat as if she hadn’t spoken in years.

“Answer her, you know” the girl looked at her and smiled “tell her you’re okay” suddenly her smile dropped and she wrinkled her nose “you’re okay, right?”

“Where am I?” Kara questioned lost, getting closer to the girl and observing that her toys were star and planet-shaped, just like the ones she used to have in Krypton.

“Why does she keep calling you?” she sighed “it feels like she loves you, do you love her?”

“Who is she?” Kara sat on the grass too “where am I? Who are you?”

“You ask too many questions” their eyes met. The girl also had blue irises. “I do too, my mom always said that’s a good thing, because…”

“Because great scientists start from small curious questions” Kara smiled “mine used to say the same thing too.”

“Do you miss her?” the girl offered her one of the objects and Kara sighed. What was the point in lying now?

“Sometimes I miss her, sometimes I just get angry at her,” Kara sighed, frustrated and embarrassed. She shouldn’t feel anger, resentment, or get upset, but she just couldn’t help it. “Other times I just want to forget her, because it’d hurt less.”

“Hm, I get it and I think I would feel the same if I was ever abandoned” the girl answered thoughtfully “have you ever told anyone about it?”

Kara wanted to answer that Alex knew, that she had told her, but that wasn’t entirely true. Her sister only knew the surface, the edges of her soul, and the simple memory of that grumpy redhead made her heart skip a beat. As Kara thought of her, a huge image appeared on her left side, as if it was a movie screen and it played an old scene, aged. In it, two girls walked through an empty street, the sunset painting the horizon and both laughing loudly, holding each other's hands. Suddenly, the movie changed and the scene was of a blonde woman, dressed in a blue suit with a red cape. She looked as if she was about to cry. Her hands touched a glass wall, and on the other side of it, Alex looked at the woman and touched her hand. Kara could feel that love and it was like being awakened from a bad dream.

But she couldn’t make the feeling last. As the screen disappeared, so did the love.

“Your sister?” the girl questioned curious “I’ve always wanted to have a brother, but mom says she doesn’t have time for another kid and dad is never home.”

“Alex” Kara whispered, repeating the name in her head “she… she’s my sister, but I had never had one before too.”

“I heard her voice” the girl commented “sometimes she cries, or stays awake asking you to wake up” she frowned “why are you asleep?”

“I don’t remember” she was honest “do I look asleep?”

“No,” the girl laughed “but they want you to wake up, Kara.”

“I don’t know how to do it… wait, them?” Who would the other people be? Why was no one answering her questions?

Who was the girl sitting next to her and why did she look so much like her?

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” she rolled her eyes “well, my mom always said I was too aerial and never heard what other people say, but what fault do I have if I think too much” Kara giggled, she knew what that was like.

“Where I live, sometimes I can hear too many things and that bothers me” Kara confessed, not even realizing that little by little, the details of who she was were being slowly revealed. Though Kara knew about her own identity, it was lost somewhere inside her mind. “Sometimes I have to focus on one noise only to get some sleep.”

“Wow, that must be awful” the girl left the toys aside and turned to her “what did you focus on?”

“First my sister’s heartbeat, then Lena’s” the name escaped her lips. Sweet, light, and tasteful.

Lena.

“She’s the one calling you, isn’t she?” Kara didn’t know how to answer, was she? “I can hear her voice and she loves you very much, I’ve never seen someone love somebody like that. My dad loved my mom, but I can’t picture their love, it felt so distant, and I don’t know…”

“Fake” she nodded “my parents loved each other too, but other things came first and I also didn’t quite know what love was like.”

“But this Lena, she loves you, she asked you to wake up, she says Lizzie is waiting for you” the girl explained “she’s the one who talked the most, every day without exception. Do you love her?”

“I don’t remember much about her, but I feel something different when I think about it” Kara answered, confused. “In fact, I can’t really feel or remember a lot.”

“It’s because you don’t belong here, Kara” his voice sounded soft and calm “you need to find your way back home.”

“I don’t feel… I don’t…” she sighed “I don’t know where I want to go back to.”

“Then you won’t find your way” their eyes met again “why don’t you want to go back?”

“Where I was, things were good, the people, life in general, but I… I still had so much inside me and… I don’t know, that weighted, you know? Like I was carrying much more than I was able to stand” Kara explained and observed her surroundings, studying the mountains, the green, and the way the sunbathed in all in lively yellow “and I here, I feel nothing, and in a way, that’s…”

“Comfortable?” she nodded.

“Yeah… it’s a different kind of relief” the girl agreed and looked over to the horizon.

“You know that if you decide to stay, your path will never appear again, right?” the girl's voice shook a little “you know the voices will disappear, and that Lena will disappear, don’t you?”

The huge movie screen appeared on her side again, like magic and in it, a gorgeous woman, with raven hair, stunning eyes and incredibly green eyes appeared.  She looked anxious, nervous as if waiting for a special moment to come. And it came. Her office door opened and Kara saw herself walk in with a smile, opening her arms that Lena almost ran to fit in between. So that was it, that’s what love was supposed to feel like Light, calm and soft. Kara breathed out heavily and then the scene changed, now there was a funny, low noise as if something was breaking. Lena walked into the room which was a nursery and leaned down to kiss the cheeks of a girl who looked just like Lena, except her eyes were blue.

“What is that?” Kara pointed at the screen.

“Your memories, the longer you stay here, the more they slowly vanish and become just that… movies, as if you’re not a part of them,” she explained, “and you can only watch them once.”

“So… I’m going to forget all of these?” Kara frowned “I won’t feel anything anymore?”

“It’s what happened to those who don’t belong here” she shrugged “I remember it all, my parents, my friends and also the explosion, or something like it…”

“And if I don’t want to go back, will it stop hurting?” The girl looked at her scared and then a voice called out her name, loud and desperate.

They looked up and the scream came again.

“Why don’t you want to go back?” it sounded like madness to the girl “don’t you love her?”

“Because it won’t hurt anymore, I love her, but coming back feels too scary and I… I don’t want to go through it again” she confessed “the fear, the solitude, and the missing.”

“Kara, you’re not alone anymore, and missing it is the only thing keeping your past alive” she held her hand and gently squeezed it “you need to let me go, I’m not in pain.”

Kara looked at her and nothing made sense. Nothing was making any sense.

“What do you mean?”

“You still attach yourself so much to the past” the girl explained “I know it hurts, but it’s the past. Remember when you got this scar” she pointed at her brow.

“Yes, and I know it hurts” Kara laughed at herself with the sudden memory and another screen popped on her left, symbolizing another part of herself she was about to lose. The more she remembered, the more they would vanish.

“Aunt Astra took you to the room, helped you clean and patch it up, and said it would only start healing once you stopped crying and let her finish” they smiled “To heal something, you have to deal with it and then let it go. Does it still hurt when you touch it?”

“No, I barely remember I have this scar” Kara admitted “I’m just reminded of it when I look into the mirror or someone brings it up.”

“But it’s still with you, right? Just like the memory of that day” the girl said calmly and Kara still didn’t understand what point she was trying to make “you never dealt with what happened to us, you never let anyone help you so it never healed. And that’s why it bleeds” Kara felt her eyes tear up and the sudden urge to change the subject, because that still ached in her “it’s as if it’s still bleeding and yes, if you chose to stay, then it will go away.”

“That’s what I want the most,” Kara breathed out, her voice trembling.

“But Lena will disappear too, Lizzie, Alex, everyone you’ve met in this journey” and that punched her in the gut “you need to understand that I’m not suffering anymore.”

“And who are you?” Kara asked again but everything started to fade out. To vanish.

The girl smiled, and then Kara understood.

“I’m you.”

 

***

 

“Alex!” Lena yelled as she saw the crowd of people standing outside the medical ward “Alex!” her voice was shrilling and her heart was beating out of her chest “what is going on? Where is Alex?” Lena grabbed Sam, she was crying too.

“L-Lena…” Sam hugged her hard and tried to keep calm. J’onn, Winn, James, and Eliza were in the hallways and the atmosphere was tense, almost palpably dark.

“What happened?” Lena looked at Eliza and she couldn’t stop sobbing “no… E-Eliza…” her tears stream down hot and acid, cutting her face like a sharpened blade “No!” she muffled the scream with her hand and Eliza ran to hold her.

“Breath, darling” her voice sounded weak and her eyes were stained red from crying “Kara, she… she…” Eliza sobbed, holding Lena in her arms “she had a cardiac arrest… and we…” she didn’t dare to finish the sentence.

It had been almost a month inside that hell and it seemed the worst could still come.

“The doctors said she can’t hold much longer” J’onn completed and his brokenness became apparent to all of them “Alex… Alex is inside there, doing what she can…”

“Where are Clark and Lois?” James asked, “do they…” Lena saw James cry for the first time, looking so fragile and desperate. He was one of Kara’s best friends and she knew grief was going to hit him hard too “do they know?”

“I called them as soon as I arrived” Sam answered and held Lena’s hand “Ruby is taking care of Lizzie and El in the resting room” she informed.

“Winn, where is Eve?” Lena pieced herself together and used a spark of hope from deep in her soul, one that was slowly dying.

“In the lab” his voice was trembling, hoarse from crying “do you want me to call her?”

“No, I want you to come with me and Eliza, I need you to get Lizzie” Lena ordered, not even thinking about being kind or saying please. The desperation and anxiety were eating her alive, corroding her guts, making her sick “Sam, I have a baby bottle for El in my bag, can you feed her for me?”

“Sure” she nodded and followed Eliza down the hallway.

“Lena, what are you going to do?” James questioned, “where were you?”

“I’m going to try to save Kara before it’s too late,” Lena answered dryly. “Lex gave me an idea and maybe it’s our last chance of doing something that will work.”

“Lex?” he arched a brow “Kara is dying and you went to visit him? How dare you, how…”

“Can you shut the fuck up for one minute, Olsen?” Lena screamed and J’onn ran to them, holding her shoulders back “the person I love the most is inside that room…” she breathed in “she… she’s dying” Lena’s body was shaking and her blood was boiling in rage “so just keep you fucking opinions to yourself, I know this hurts, but I love her and will do anything to make sure she stays alive!” James stepped back and took a deep breath. They all had their nerves on edge and no one was to blame there, everyone was on the brink of breaking down, whether it was from anguish or sadness.

Winn looked at them and prayed silently for nothing to go wrong between them. He understood James’ pain and worry, but he also knew he was exaggerated when it came to Lena, and there, judgments should be banished. Kara’s loss would hit every person there in a different way, but certainly, for Lena, it would be an irreparable one, just like for the rest of the Danvers family. Winn tried to keep himself focused, trying to fill his head with other things, but he couldn’t deny it, the need to scream and cry until his lungs were aching was only growing each day. Eve was the only one able to hold him lately, mostly because they spent a lot of time together in the lab.

“Here she is” Eliza brought her granddaughter in her arms and Lizzie asked for her mother’s hands “Sam has Ellie and Ruby, what’s the plan?”

“I need red light lamps,” Lena asked Winn “and I need you to draw a flask of her blood.”

They nodded and left J’onn and James to wait there. Not much later, Clark landed in the DEO’s balcony, holding Lois in the bridal position, Lois was having more and more difficulty standing up or stay in the same position. Inside the medical ward, Alex and the other agents did their best to keep Kara alive, but it was only becoming more impossible. The bullet had already been removed, but it had hit a spot too near her heart and the radiation went straight into her bloodstream, making the detoxification process a lot harder. Kara couldn’t breathe on her own anymore or move, her heartbeat was only getting weaker, showing she probably only had a few hours more, if so.

Time moved as if in slow motion, James sat on the floor, next to the door, while J’onn informed Superman of his cousin’s health. Lois went straight into the resting too, where Sam was keeping an eye on the little kryptonian and her daughter. They didn’t talk much, though Lois knew she was Reign, she was a bit apprehensive regarding Sam, especially because she was Alex’s fiancee, and Aled truly loathed Lois’ guts. Maybe it was paranoid of her to think that Sam hated her too, but she wouldn’t risk it, because Reign also didn’t like her a lot, of course. A couple of hours after the chaos, Alex left the room to find them all waiting outside. Her face was sweaty, her eyes red, and her hands shaking. A painful sob escaped her throat and J’onn held her before her knees gave in.

Alex cried copiously before managing to say a word. It hurt like hell to see her sister lose her life like that, without even being able to say goodbye. The last words the other doctors told her was that she needed to decide if Kara was to be kept alive through machines, though they didn’t recommend it because there could be more cardiac arrests and her brain could suffer from an occasional lack of oxygen. Not even the sunlight was able to help her heal, the damage was unfixable when it came to kryptonite. Clark stepped close to her and, for the first time, Alex hugged him tight, crying on his shoulders and also hearing him sob. No one there was the enemy, there were no divergences, just a family that loved Kara so much.

“Alex!” Lena ran to them and her heart skipped a beat as she saw the agent outside Kara’s room “Alex, I…”

“I’m so sorry,” Alex said, holding onto her body and hiding her tears on her neck “L-Lena…” Lena held her tight, feeling her body tremble and fall to pieces in her arms “it… it hurts…”

“I know…” Eliza gave Lizzie to Winn and Eve, also standing in the hallway, and joined the girls.

“We don’t have much time” Lena warned and they stepped apart “we need to try one last time” she raised a flask of a red liquid mix to something yellow.

"What's that?” Alex cleaned her face and frowned “another antidote?”

“This one is different and it’s what we have,” Lena answered and no one argued.

Eliza, Lena, and Alex walked into the room where Kara, with pale skin, a sickly thin body, and purple shades under her closed eye, was lying on the stretcher. Her body was covered by a white blanket and she was only wearing a hospital gown. Her heartbeat’s beep was the only sound in the room, fragile, almost stopping. Lena sat down beside her lover, holding her cold hands and feeling the urge to cry again, Kara’s body had never felt so cold. Lena missed her warmth, her smile, the way life was around her. She couldn’t lose her, she didn't want to lose her.”

But if it was necessary, Lena would take whatever decision was best for Kara. Even if it would kill Lena too.

The reddened liquid was put inside her IV and soon it went down to the vein where Kara was getting the medicine. The greenish lines in her skin continued to glow, showing that the kryptonite remained in her bloodstream. Lena kissed her knuckles, despair ripping her from inside out and she had never felt such a grand urge to cry. Lena was never a religious person, she never believed in divinities, angels, demons, not even magic. Even as a child, she always thought the universe was responsible for every energy given to human beings, whether good or bad, and that you’re the only one responsible for yourself. But, at that moment, Lena prayed.

She prayed for a god she had learned to respect ever since she learned about her girlfriend’s real history. Rao might not be real and he might not hear her prayers, but fuck it, Lena wanted to believe and grow attached to the idea that he was listening, because Kara always said and repeated about how Rao was just. And that’s what she prayed for, for justice. Kara wasn’t the one that deserved to die, she was. That wasn’t supposed to be happening and if Lena could trade places, she would do it without thinking twice. Lena prayed and prayed, her tears acting like old friends and her anxiety holding her tight, almost suffocating her. Lena thought back to all the times' Kara made her smile, all the times she believed in her and stood up for her. The kryptonian prayer slipped out of her lips with ease, as if that was her mother tongue.

Alex leaned her head on her mother’s shoulder, crying quietly and hearing her sob too. Eliza, the woman with a big heart and open mind, who took in a child who wasn’t hers, who loved that girl even though she knew she might never love her back and fought with teeth and claws to provide a bright future for that girl, for her to overcome her tragic past. Eliza’s soul yelled at her to do something, to stop her from going, to act up now and stop that pain from taking place, but certain things simply aren’t changeable, and Eliza understood that. Letting Kara go would take a huge part of her in the process, and it would take years, if not centuries, for her to learn to live in a world without her daughter in it.

“Kara, please, I need you to come back” Eliza whispered “I need you to give yourself a second chance, to come back to us, to me…” she begged “I know it seems scary, I know you never told me about your pains, but I need you to trust me and let me help you.”

Her heartbeats continued to go up and down on the stream, her breathing was muffled and deep, all three of them could hear it, and Kara didn’t react.

And the beep slowly decreased, indicating the end they were all expecting but refusing to accept. Lena sobbed loudly and held her hand tighter, asking her to stay again.

“Kara!” Lena’s voice was hoarse and broken “no, please, no…”

 

***


“I can hear her,” Kara said to her past self, standing next to her.

“She wants you to go back and you need to decide” the girl was firm “what is holding you here, Kara?”

“I don’t know…” she sighed, a strange gripping feeling on her hand, a cold, soft-touch “I’m just so scared.”

“Fear will always be by your side, but you’re the one responsible to choose what to do with it” the girl got up and looked into her eyes “for years, you carried the weight of a world in your shoulders, I can feel it, but I’m not okay and you proved that we can do it, that I left the phantom zone and am safe with a family that loves me” Kara sighed, unable to answer "if it weren’t for your courage, strength and hope, I would still be stuck, but look around” she pointed at the hills, the trees your thirteen-year-old self didn’t die, but you need to leave her behind. You need to let go of me and let me leave” the girl said tenderly.

“And what if I… what if I can’t remember you anymore, or Krypton and my parents?” her voice shook.

“Letting me go doesn’t mean forgetting, but staying here does” the girl reminded “if you decide to stay, all that you are will disappear. Even the memories that we share.”

“Will you be okay?”

“You tell me, what is Lizzie like?” she asked curiously.

“She has our father’s eyes and our aunt Astrs’s temper” the laughed “Lizzie is a sweet, very sly, happy girl. She likes hugs and when she smiles it feels like all my life comes down to that simple gesture.”

“Then, Kara…” the girl touched her shoulder “it seems I’ll be okay.”

And so Kara accepted that, no matter how much the past hurt, no matter how much she wanted to save herself from twenty-five years ago, Kara would be okay. Thirteen-year-old Kara Zor-El was safe because she never allowed herself to give up. Her memories would be alive because Lizzie was living proof of it, and the love she felt for Lena assured that safety. That’s when Kara made a decision.

That’s when she allowed herself to try one more time.

 


***

 

“Kara, please…” Lena felt the exhaustion invade her senses, softening her muscles and slowly shutting her off “please, come back…” she had lost track of how many times she had repeated those words.

Now she was alone in the room, Eliza and Alex decided to give her time, respecting her goodbye. In truth, neither of them wanted to be there to listen to Lena say she would let Kara go, that leaving, though excruciatingly painful, was sometimes necessary. Lena was sobbing quietly, her head aching from the effort and eyelids begging to close. She did not stop holding her hand, did not stop believing in her fight. And Lena did not stop loving her with her whole being and strength. If she had to say goodbye, it was because destiny decided it was going to be that way.

“Please, Kara…” she sighed, almost falling asleep “don’t go…”

“I made a promise, Lena” a barely audible, hoarse voice answered her “I’m not going anywhere…”

Lena raised her face and blinked twice. She was dreaming. That could only be a dream.

It wasn’t true.

“Kara…” her opaquely blue eyes looked at her with tenderness and longing, making her heart melt inside her chest and doubling the size of her tears “no,… this isn’t…” Lena closed her eyes shut and tried to awake from that dream her mind had dragged her into.

“Lena…” Kara squeezed her hands softly “open your eyes…”

“No” she cried.

“Lena, I need you to look at me” Lena tried to hold back from obeying her, but once she did, she couldn’t stop herself from hugging her, even though it wasn’t quite possible yet.

Lena got up quickly and lied over Kara’s body, feeling her weak, soft-touch trace her back. She cried loudly and hid her face in her lifeless blonde hair, though still smelling the same sweet scent. Kara allowed herself to cry too and inhaled the perfume of the woman she loved so much, as if fixating the memories together, scared they’d suddenly be erased. They remained there in silence, holding each other, together, even their breaths were controlled, scared inhaling or exhaling too much would ruin the moment. Miraculously, Kara had woken up and it didn’t matter if it was because of the antidote, the prayer, or the hope they nurtured throughout that month. But Kara knew the truth, and that was a secret she was going to keep.

The truth was that no one could make that choice for her, the decision to come back and live depended only on her heart.

“I love you, Lena” Kara kissed her hair and changed position to face her, even though Lena refused to move away “I love you so much and I’m never leaving you.” her lips touched her forehead and she moved her arms up slowly to hold her face.

Lena just held tight to her waist and continued to spill her tear-shaped fears on her.

“Promise me again” she murmured, muffling her cries on her shoulder “promise me you won’t leave me… ever.”

“I’ll promise it if you look at me and let me see your eyes,” Kara asked tenderly and she complied, slowly opening her eyelid, exposing her green irises for Kara to contemplate “I promise you, Lena Luthor, that I won’t ever leave or abandon you, no matter what happens.”

Lena let that promise sink in her chest and smiled, relieved.

“Are you really here?” she whispered, feeling her chapped and faded lips touch her cheeks “this feels like a dream…”

“But it isn’t” she reassured, kissing her face again “I’m here. How long was I out?”

“Almost a month” she sighed heavily. For Kara, it felt like it had only been a couple of hours, not almost four weeks “I was… I… I was so scared…”

“I know, I know…” Kara sighed “why don't you call the others? They need to know everything is okay.”

“What if I come back and you’re not awake?” and there it was, the fear and doubts again.

“Lena, trust me” Kara kissed her lips as if it was the first time “I’m here with you.”

Lena nodded and held onto those words. Little by little, everyone walked in. Eliza was first immediately followed by Alex and the Danvers family reunited, time going by slowly and the two older women crying and thanking god Kara was okay. Kara tried to keep up, but still felt tired and sore, but she kept quiet, she didn’t want to get in their way. Winn entered soon after her mother and sister and, though he wanted to look strong, he broke down as soon as she saw Kaar’s eyes open and lively. He hugged her with the little strength he had, crying loudly and repeating how much he had missed her. James did the same, then J’onn followed suit and so did Sam. The last one was Clark, he simply stood by the door, reactionless. Not even blinking. Unable to put into words that wave of feelings washing over his heart.

But Kara opened her eyes and shot him her usual smile, like she was still thirteen, helping her aunt to take care of little Kal-El. Their eyes met, and they shared the understanding that Krypton was dead, that they were both worthy of missing it and relieved they were alive. Sometimes, the guilt would consume their bodies, because their families deserved to be saved too, just like them. However, fate’s game is cruel and calls such cruelty justice. Now it was up to them to forgive each other and say everything that was implicit in their past loving actions for one another. Clark knew he owed a lot to Kara, that he had to apologize and that Rao had given him one more chance to do the right thing. Kara was his family and the house of El stands for family.

When they all left the room, letting Lena come in again, Lizzie could finally reunite with her mother. Her little lost blue eyes, tired from an afternoon of playing with Ruby, met her mother’s eyes.

And her smile was the reason Kara knew returning was worth it.

But as Lena and Lizzie came in, Kara couldn’t help but notice another thin, pale little body on the baby chair Lena was carrying on her other hand.

“Look who’s up, honey” Lena rocked Liz and she laughed loudly, calling her mom with her hands.

“Lizzie” Kara felt her eyes tear up and smiled back.

“Yeyu” she babbled, getting Kara completely by surprise “yeyu, mama!” she pointed at Kara.

“Yes, darling, it’s yeyu” Lena placed the baby chair on the chair and handed Lizzie to Kara, careful not to hurt her.

Lizzie lied on her mother's chest and clumsily kissed her chest, making a funny echo noise. Kara attached herself to that moment and thanked herself mentally for not giving up on her family, for not leaving behind a journey that was worth traveling again, despite all the bumps. She caressed her daughter’s dark hair, observing how it had grown in that almost month, and also noticed that two little teeth were shyly showing on her mouth. Rao, Kara would not handle losing those steps from her little girl and she felt guilty for not being there. But, even feeling completely fulfilled, curiosity still walked in the back of her mind.

Who was the other baby?

“I missed you, is’kah” Kara kissed the soft, sticky cheeks “my little drooler” she squeezed her belly.

Lena took the other baby out of her little chair as she started to rumble and cry. She fixed her position in her arm and undid her shirt’s buttons, taking one breast out so she could feed. As the baby calmed down, Lena leaned next to her girlfriend, Kara moving to give her some space and sitting Lizzie on her legs. They remained in silence and Kara began to notice the unknown child’s features. She had pale blonde hair, Lena’s pale white skin but her grey eyes looked at her as if she already knew Kara. That made her heart race and a funny feeling came into her saw. The girl then raised her little hand, the same way Lizzie did, and quietly asked to hold Kara’s finger.

And Kara gave it to her, though she didn’t know why. Suddenly, her vision went dark and Kara saw everything she needed to. Ellie showed her all she had missed during those weeks, letting her see how hard everyone was working to get her back, how Lizzie had learned new words, how Alex had become a spoiled aunt with her new niece, and how Lois had progressed to accept that Lena was family. It was like watching the baby’s life through a movie screen. And once it was over, Kara looked at her girlfriend confused, but kept most of her questions for another moment, she still had to catch up on everything.

“Who is she, Lena?” she asked, a bit hesitant about the answer.

“This is Ellie” Lena answered in a whisper “we used to call her El, but Ellie matches her.

“Ellie” Kara repeated and let her mouth feel that name “you’re gorgeous, Ellie.

“Kara” Lena turned to her and bit her lips, trying to gather the courage to say what she needed, “I think… I think we’re going to need a bigger house.”

“So… she…” Kara looked at the little body again “she…”

“Yes,” Lena sighed “she’s ours, Kara. And I can’t do this without you,” she confessed, scared of how she was going to react.

After all, another daughter?

But Kara simply smiled wide, and her blue eyes glowed for the first time after that whole month of absence.

“Welcome to the family, Ellie Luthor Danvers” and that spark lit her hope again.

 

***

 


April came with vivid and hot sunlight on the window, indicating that it had been a year since a dark-haired and blue-eyed girl had arrived in the world. Yes, Lizzie Luthor Danvers was completing one year of life that day, and her mothers couldn’t handle their happiness for being together on that day. The fear of raising her daughter on her own gave Lena nightmares for months. Kara spent a few more weeks in bed until she was cleared by the DEO, but her powers had completely vanished and, according to Alex’s exams, it would take a while for them to come back. Kara didn’t really mind though, after all, Supergirl needed a break and J’onn assured her National City could take some more weeks without its hero.

The first days at home were scary, Kara felt sore and had a hard time breathing, also, Ellie cried a lot, waking up her big sister. And so, Eliza also moved in with them, because Lena could not handle it all on her own.

Lizzie was officially ending breastfeeding, getting used to baby bottles once for all and now she could eat all sorts of food, Lizzie was the one who needed maternal milk. Lena would take the two of them every month to see doctor Eva, certifying that her girls were fine and healthy. It wasn’t easy to get used to the fact she was a mother again, after all, Lena didn’t feel the same affection she had nurtured during her firstborn’s pregnancy. And that made her feel guilty beyond reason, Ellie deserved all her love and care. Sam helped her in that sense, accompanying her up close and spending the weekends together. Alex also would visit them at least three times a week, though more in the beginning and Lena understood her. Alex needed to see Kara alive, breathing, and fine. Those were complicated and dark times for all of them

The penthouse was left as soon as Kara was discharged and Jess assured her boss the moving was done exactly as she asked. James was officially named CatCo’s CEO, but Lena still attended as many meetings as possible, while also handling every department in L-Corp. Kara didn’t know how to express how thankful she was that hers and millions of other people’s jobs were saved by Lena. Kara was still unable to make much effort and even walking was hard when she came back home. The new Luthor-Danvers residency wasn’t very far away, but Lena chose a house in a smaller suburban neighborhood, a bit away from the city, so the girls would grow up safely and would get a childhood as normal as possible.

Not that there was anything normal about her family.

Lizzie developed more powers, for example, the superspeed. And that was, quite literally, hell on Earth. Elle, on the other hand, seemed to be taking a little longer, though her psychic powers were showing more and more. Besides keeping memories and showing them to others, Ellie could also predict certain things and manipulate the memories. Her big sister also had different abilities from Clark and Kara, Lizzie was able to relieve pain from bruises with a simple touch, but she could also cause them with minimum effort. Also, Lizzie could simply make people sick with her touch. They noticed that after she touched James, and he caught a really bad cold. And then when one of the agents almost had an anaphylactic shock, though he was only allergic to peanuts and had not been anywhere near one. 

“Good morning, is’kah” Kara greeted, taking the older baby out of the crib “how is my one-year-old, huh?” she kissed her cheeks. They made their way to the other room, where Lena was sitting on a chair, feeding the starved baby “good morning, my love” Kara kissed her lips with a smile and Ellie raised her now green-ish eyes “hey, you” she poked her nose.

“Are you okay?” Lena asked concerned, after all those months, only her super strength, hearing, and speed had come back, the other powers were still weakened.

“Better than ever” Kara smiled joyfully “are you ready for today?”

“Two parties in one day?” she arched a brow “of course I am.”

“Yeyu, yummy yummy” Lizzie groaned “yummy yummy!”

Ellie let go of her mother’s breast and let on an excited scream. And then Kara’s stomach roared.

“Uh… we’re hungry?” she blushed and Lena laughed.

“Of course you are” Lena got up and heard some noise in the kitchen “why don’t we go see what grandma is up to?”

“Grandma!” Lizzie clapped her hands and slid down Kara’s legs, clumsily walking to the door “yeyu, yummy!” she called Kara, who got up, laughing loudly.

“Yu! Yu!” Ellie groaned and squirmed, looking at her mother and then at the door.

“We’re going, El” she kissed her cheeks and squeezed her tummy “but you just ate” the girl pouted “oh, God.”

“Mama!” Lizzie called her too and the little family made their way to the kitchen, where Eliza had made a huge breakfast.

“Good morning, girls” Eliza greeted, taking Ellie in her arms and kissing Lena and Kara “how do you feel, honey?”

“Hungry?” Kara joked it off.

“Yummy yummy!” Liz threw her spoon up and Agnes ran to lick her face, knocking her over on the floor “no, no, no…” she tried to pull the dog away. Eliza laughed and as she placed her younger granddaughter on the baby chair, she rescued the oldest from the ground “grandma, ugly!”

“Agnes is just wishing you a happy birthday” Eliza laughed at her automatic pout “who’s turning one today, huh?”

“Kara, did you remind your sister to pick the cake?” Lena asked, sitting down on the table and pouring herself some coffee “we can’t forget to move the cars from the garage.”

“Uhum” Kara nodded, mouthful, and served a bit of chopped strawberry and banana for the little baby “Ellie, eat it slowly, okay?” The girl had just completed six months and was loving to try out new foods and tastes.

Theoretically, after reading all of Lilian’s notebooks, the DEO found out that Ellie had been born on October 2nd, and so, Kara and Lena registered her under that date and, on the department, she got the Zor-El name, going through every exam her older sister had gone through. Unlike Lizzie, Ellie had developed faster and more maturely. She was a natural crier and also very sly, but she always knew the time and place to do those things. She knew how to keep quiet when she needed to and would spend some alone time with her grandpa J’onn, having long ‘mental’ conversations, because he wanted to understand the way her brain worked better.

“Sam is arriving with Ruby at any moment and she says she has a surprise for us” Lena informed and her girlfriend frowned.

“A surprise?” she questioned.

“Oh, honey, I’m sure it’s something about the wedding” Eliza sat down too, giving Lizzie her favorite cookies. Which she quickly grabbed and shoved into her mouth.

“Liz, darling, chew” Lena lectured but then noticed that both Kara and Ellie ate the cookies the same way “Eliza, what do I do with these three?”

“Don’t ask me, I swear I tried to educate her” Eliza pointed at her daughter, who gasped.

“Hey, I hafe good manfers!” she answered with her mouth full and blushed “uh.. sorry…”

“Ramona and Julie will be coming in a few hours, we have to shower the girls and get the back balcony ready” Lena commented and Eliza nodded.

“I’ll take Agnes to the pet shop, Winn will bring Lena and Alex will bring Krypto,” Kara said excitedly “I just hope the twins don’t go pulling their tails like last time” Lena snorted.

“That will be hard” she got up “Eliza, can you keep an eye on the girls while we take a shower?”

“Of course, take your time, me and the girls will finish eating all these cookies” Eliza winked at Lizzie, and the girl tried to wink back but failed miserably. Elli threw her strawberries in the air and laughed loudly as some of it fell on Agnes “we’ll be fine.” they all smiled.

The couple went to the bathroom and in a matter of minutes, they were naked, clothes scattered around the floor, kissing for longer than needed. Now, with two babies, every second alone together became precious. Kara trailed down her neckline, pressing on her boobs with the other hand and hearing her moan quietly. Soon enough, Lena felt the spasms take over her and the orgasm relaxed every muscle in her body. Making love like that reminded Lena how much she needed Kara by her side. Her kisses, her touches, her warmth, and hugs meant everything to Lena, and every time that they loved each other in the bed, the shower, or that living room when no one was in the house, proved to Lena that she would never belong to anyone else. Kara was the love of her life and would be for all eternity.

Lizzie and Ellie were already properly dressed and clean, while Lena, Kara, Sam, and Alex finished getting the decoration ready. There wasn’t a specific theme, they just decided to do something very colorful and glowy. The photographer had arrived earlier, the cakes were already on the table, set with sweets and candy, and the girls’ names were glued to the wall, alongside a framed picture of them. Raising two girls was a stressful, exhausting task, but also fun and so worth it in the end. Ramone and Julie arrived with their respective husbands right on time, bringing their team of children along. Ezra ran to hug Lizzie, who was his favorite girl, and hugged her in the air, like usual. Grace walked clumsily and straight to Agnes, who licked her with excitement, making her giggle with the tickling.

Theo and Thomas, who were dressed similarly, ran to Alex. Apparently, after they met Alex, she had kind of become their favorite aunt. The gifts for the girls were left in a corner, there was music playing on the balcony and soon the kids began spreading on the backyard, where there was a ball pit and other toys set for kids of all ages. Ellie was the youngest, just trying to keep up, crawling around, but she didn’t care she couldn't run. On the contrary, Ellie spent most of the time playing with toys her yeyu had placed on the carpet.

Winn arrived with James and Eve, greeting all the other guests. J’onn sat down on the carpet next to the littlest baby and helped her build a colorful castle. Ever since Ellie came into their lives, J’onn felt lighter and closer to his old family, because the girl could tell him what she wanted with her mind, even when she didn’t know the words quite right. Clark then arrived with Lois late in the afternoon, after all, little Jonathan was a cry baby and starved boy, just like all the other kryptonians, according to Lena. He had turned a month and a half that week and was just as flabby as Clark used to be at that age, at least that was what Kara said.

“Lizzie and Ellie, make a wish!” The cake with the one-year candle and the other with the six months was lit and shining bright. Lena held the youngest while Kara held the oldest.

Lena looked over at her girlfriend and smiled in love. That was her life, imperfect, full of flaws, surprises, pain, and anguish. But it was also full of overcoming, friendship, love, and warmth. Lena didn’t care anymore that she hadn’t chosen to be a mother, much less that she now had to take care of three starved kryptonians. She wouldn’t trade for the world, actually, Lena could barely remember what her life was like two years ago. She was eternally grateful for that shy, brave reporter that walked into the office to ask smart questions, grateful for her lunch invites, the game nights, and mostly, for when she had said yes that night at the beach when Lena finally chose to forgive her and rebuild their relationship. Kara, Lizzie, and Ellie were, undoubtedly, the best restart she could ever ask for.

Lena whispered an ‘I love you’ to her, receiving it back, and then leaned in for a kiss, hearing everyone cheering loudly. They leaned down and blew the candles, celebrating not only their daughters' birthday but also the beginning of an eternity of celebrations.

Chapter 32: Hold me tight and don't ever let me go

Notes:

To quote Bo Burnham, "I'm sorry I was gone, but look I made you some content!"

Okay but seriously, sorry it took me so long!

These last three chapters are far longer than the others so I don't really know how long I'm going to take with the last two, but I PROMISE it won't take too long.

Enjoy!"

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Almost two weeks had passed since Kara had awakened and brought the joy and relief they all needed back. Breathing had now become a pleasant task, instead of just a means to survival. J’onn still felt a bit out of sorts, but no one could blame him for it, after all, the man had almost lost everything again. Kara knew what it was like. They all had their losses there, each one in a different way, causing a different kind of pain. The agents finally went back to talking louder, laughing, and distracting themselves when there wasn’t any ongoing mission. Also, they were all able to go back to their jobs without fearing getting any bad news in the middle of it. Neither L-Corp nor much less CatCo was in their best days, however, James took a long break and went back to his job as CEO once in for all, receiving orders and instructions from his new boss, Lena Luthor.

Sam could relax a little more too, now that Supergirl was slowly returning to the streets. Or she thought so because Kara’s powers were far from coming back again. The kryptonite causes perhaps irreparable damage, not that she would never go back to being a hero, but the girl of steel was going to have to wait a little longer to get them back. Kara was going through intensive treatment, alongside her sister and mother, who never left her side. Alex was the one who changed the patch on her back, took her blood pressure, made the blood exams, helped her walk, and caught her up on the news, besides putting Kara under the sun at least four times a day, twice under the real sun and twice under yellow sunlight lamps. Eliza was the one who brought her food and, at the moment, Kara ate like a normal human being, though she still hated vegetables and usually went for pizza.

Lena was responsible for Kara’s smile, for assuring they would get through it, for bringing the girls to be with their yeyu, for describing to her how Lizzie tried to take her first steps, how Ellie wrinkled her nose just like her other mother. Besides that, when they were alone, Lena would fill her with calm, loving, and intense kisses. That was Kara’s favorite part, to just lie beside the woman that she loved for almost two hours, not saying anything, just calmly breathing, caressing her dark hair, and watching her sleep lightly, since she didn’t really know when the CEO had last slept properly. It was probable that the whole month Lena hadn’t closed her eyes to rest even once, and that worried Kara to the bone. Though Lena complained every time she had let her sleep in, Kara would just smile and kiss her again, intertwining their legs under the blue blanket and repeating in whispers how much she loved her.

The worst part was when Lena reminded her of the medicine. Rao, why did she have to take those horrible pills and yellow liquid that tasted like kale? Okay, maybe they didn’t taste like kale, but it was the nearest thing Kara could compare it to and show it was bad. At first, Lena would sigh in disbelief and almost lose her patience at her stubbornness, Kara would just get grumpy, put on a pout and cross her arms. But Lena was a Luthor, and therefore, found a handful of ways to hide the pills inside of sandwiches.

Kara would never find out since food made her lose all her senses.

The afternoons with the girls were always the most joyful and fun. And also the most tiresome for Kara, after all, she was still powerless, recovering from a coma and her ribs still ached like hell when she moved too much. Lizzie showed her yeyu all of her new collection of teddy bears she had gotten for Christmas, which mostly came down to Winnie the Pooh replicas, making Kara very happy since she was also a big fan. Every time the little girl called her yeyu or said any other word, Kara felt her eyes tear up and she cursed herself for even considering not going back to her family for a moment. Ellie, for now, was an unknown equation and couldn’t really play yet. Kara liked to pick her up, sing her to sleep, and mention over and over how she loved her other daughter.

Another daughter. That always made her heart skip a beat.

Kara never considered being a mother again, if Krypton hadn’t blown up, Kara never would’ve had a sister or brother there. Neither she nor Kal-El, after all their parents and relatives, didn't think about having other children. And so, Kara had never thought of the possibility for Lizzie to have a sibling. Sure, Alex was one of the best things that had happened in her life, and she wouldn’t trade her for the world. Alex was her fortress, the first person on Earth that loved her unconditionally, the one that protected her from everything and everyone. So, when Lena told her about the new baby, Kara was, firstly, startled and confused, but she couldn’t deny, not even to herself, that she was so happy to have another part of herself in the world, and that part also had the blood from National City's greatest woman. Well, Kara did feel extremely concerned about how Lena was feeling about it because once again, her DNA had been used without permission.

But Lena’s smile as she looked at Ellie breastfeeding, her low soft voice used to not hurt the baby’s super hearing, the glow in her green eyes every time Ellie held her finger before falling asleep, showed that this time was different from the last one. Lena told her the truth, of course, that she had considered adoption for a second, and that, because she was frightened, scared of losing her girlfriend, she didn’t make any decisions then. And now that she was relieved she didn’t have to deal with it alone. Kara talked to her about it seriously, saying they both had to feel comfortable and know that raising two children so young and of similar ages would be hard. And so they made a deal: to never let each other get close to the limit. They both had to rest, breathe, have fun, cry, complain and have patience, those were fundamental elements for that journey now and they were both allowed to vent when they were close to giving up.

Because giving up was not an option.

Clark and Lois went back to Metropolis, the woman was feeling exhausted and the last trimester of pregnancy was driving her insane. They said goodbye and Kal asked to talk to her alone when he visited again. Kara nodded and told him to go without worries. Sam came and went to visit Kara, hiding donuts and other sweets in her purse and bringing Ruby along to chat with her all afternoon. Kara loved those two so much and couldn't wait to see Alex marrying someone so special. She and Ruby would spend hours talking about the new movies coming out, places to go and have fun, and always eating too much sugar, promising to never tell Lena about it. The part that most touched Kara was seeing the girl call Alex 'mother' as if she had always been it like her sister had been there for her birth and everything leading to the present day. Ruby told Kara about how Sam and go to L-Corp early in the morning, fight crime in the afternoon and sometimes at night, and so Alex was the one who checked on her homework, made dinner, and brushed her hair before bed.

There were nights Alex would let her sleep in her bed, holding her tight between her arms and assuring her everything was going to be okay because they both missed Kara too much.

Kara never knew what to say when people told her about the love and companionship their friends had when she was out. She couldn’t believe Reign had accepted to work with the DEO just to help them, just leave Supergirl at peace for a while. It was funny, even with so many differences, Lois and Lena learned to coexist, Alex didn’t start any fights with Clark, James remained silent for most of the time and Winn didn’t pop any jokes and fully dedicated his time to figure out a way to save his best friend, even if it meant dragging his new girlfriend to the labs. Also, who would have thought Eve Teschmacher was a genius? Kara would never look at the woman again and see the ‘extroverted coffee girl and secretary’. Rao, Eve managed to surprise her, and she didn’t know how to thank her for helping everyone at the DEO and mostly for holding Winn when he needed it the most. Most people in that situation would have left

It was too great of a burden to carry.

In that afternoon, the department was quiet, some agents had gone out on a mission, which made Kara sigh in anger for not being allowed out of that bed.

“Hey” Alex walked into the room, carrying a tray with a syringe on it and wearing a joyful smile “how are you feeling?”

“Bored and hungry” she complained, “I just wanted to get out of here, Alex.”

“I know and I may have good news about that” she winked and Kara almost jumped up “I need to draw another sample of your blood again.”

“Ugh, but that hurts and Lena isn’t here” she pouted “by the way, where is she?”

“She’s out with Sam and the kids to get ice cream” Alex put on the gloves and asked for her sister’s arm, but the only thing she got was a bigger pout “don’t worry, of course, your girlfriend is going to bring you the entire ice cream shop once she’s back. God, Kara, you know her.”

“But I wanted to go with them” Kara continued to grumble but let her sister find her vein “what was the good news? Ugh… be careful there.”

“Eliza and I have been keeping an eye on your recovery and, according to her, you can finish recovering at home” her eyes widened “I’d keep you here for a couple more days, but she’s a sucker for Lena and let you go.”

“Rao! Really?” Kara exclaimed, “can I really go home?” Alex laughed and her eyes teared up, a nod going up to her throat “hey, why are you crying?” as soon as she put the little tubes filled with blood aside, Kara pulled her sister to her side on the mattress and hugged her from the side, carefully not squishing her bandage “hey, don’t cry…”

“I… I was so… so scared of losing you, and…” her voice broke, she hid her face inside her blonde her “I’d never… see that smile again and listen to your voice…”

“Oh, Alex” Kara kissed her head and cheeks “I’m here and you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“I really hope not, I’m going to charge that one every day” she joked and looked into her eyes “Kara, I couldn't bear to lose you” her honesty hit Kara hard.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to come back” she whispered, guilty “I… I was scared and… I don’t know how to explain it, there wasn’t any pain there, you know?”

“Sounds like an amazing place then” she sighed “There's a lot that you don’t tell us because you don't want us to worry, but you don’t have to carry it on your own. You know that, right?”

“I know that now” Kara smiled “I love you, Alex, don’t you ever forget that. I won’t leave you, I promise” she raised her little finger and Alex giggled “I pinky promise.”

“Pinky promise” she intertwined their fingers and they laughed like little kids. It was good, so good to have Kara back and Alex couldn’t show how happy she was about that “as soon as Lena is back, we’ll discuss your discharge. Lizzie needs you.”

“So does Ellie” Kara added, “she’s so little, she looks like a pomegranate seed.”

“Oh no, Kara!” she snorted “there you go with the weird nicknames.”

“Hey! They’re not weird!” she grumbled upset, “it’s not my fault my daughters are the most beautiful things in the world.” she grimaced.

“Can’t argue on that one, you and Lena do make beautiful children” Kara blushed hard and scoffed “but you’re going to have to wait to make another one.”

“Alex” the agent laughed loudly again “ugh, where’s Eliza?”

“No, no, not fair calling out mother to come to defend you, Kara Danvers!” she complained, but it was too late.

“Alexandra, leave your sister alone” Eliza smiled at them and sat on the other side of the mattress, Kara in between them “how are you feeling, honey?” she kissed her cheek.

“Better now” Kara hugged her “but Alex keeps pissing me off!”

“That’s my mission in life” Alex smirked and hugged her sister “we wouldn’t know how to live without you, Kara” she was honest. Kara sighed and closed her eyes, feeling all that love come from both women that embraced her tight, and allowed herself to cry.

“I love you two, so much” she breathed out “thank you for everything,”
“You’re our family and we stick up for family” Eliza pointed out, kissing her cheeks again.

Family. Yeah, she wasn’t alone anymore. And it was thinking about her thirteen-year-old self that Kara thanked herself mentally for not giving up.

 

***

 

To say that Kara was a ball of excitement and exhilaration was watering it down. Kara could barely contain her happiness about going back home. And when she said home, she was referring to the new house Lena had bought for the family, a place that didn’t hold so many bad memories and would take in well the Luthor-Danvers family. The place wasn’t huge and was more to the side of National City’s suburbs, a residential neighborhood, with other similar houses, similarly big and painted in simple but inviting colors, there was a park not very far from there and children riding bikes and playing on the streets in the afternoon. It was perfect, Kara thought, looking at her new home. The house was colored turquoise blue, the details done in which and the garden filled with plumerias. The wood windows showed the rooms, the white fence went all the way to the back, where there was a big yard, a pool, and a furnished balcony to have guests over. On the inside, Kara found pictures all around the shelves, the wall by the stairs, and also on the living room table. There even were a few pictures of Ellie, most on J’onn’s arms, since the man couldn’t explain the connection he shared with the youngest granddaughter.

The second floor had five rooms, which made Lena thank every god there was because now there was going to be enough space for both daughters and also for Eliza since she offered to stay while Kara was still recovering. Ellie had her room styled in pink and yellow walls, while Lizzie’s was blue and purple. The toys count grew bigger, just like the clothes, diapers, baby bottles, utensils, and accessories. Lena quite literally bought a new nursery, wanting her younger daughter to have the same things she offered the oldest when she was pregnant with her. The most interesting part was furnishing her own room, where she chose to place Ellie’s crib beside the bed, because she fed avidly and constantly, and also chose not-so-cold colors because she knew her girlfriend preferred the warmer ones.

Lena put some portraits on the bedside tables and for the central wall, she chose to hang one of Kara’s self-made paintings. It was a landscape from Krypton, one that Kara used to see every day when she woke up in her old room. The red, orange, and blue tones were the main tones, with a soft, velvet touch, the stars garnished the ski and Lena could swear she felt a different warmth every time she looked at the picture. When Kara saw what her girlfriend had done, she turned to tears and thanked her for never letting her feel like a stranger in the world, the same way Alex did when they were teenagers. Their room was the biggest in the house, with a big enough closet for both of them, a bathroom, and a balcony facing straight to the backyard. The neighborhood wasn’t very far from the beach, and so, in the night, Kara could sleep more peacefully, without the sounds of honks and cars, but of waves crashing on the shore. It was what Lena wanted, at least while Supergirl’s powers were gone.

As soon as they settled in, their routine tried to get back to normal. Lena, though with two daughters and a recovering girlfriend, didn’t completely step away from her job. Sure, Ellie was still considered a newborn, due to her late development, so Lena stayed home most of the time to take care of her and help with Lizzie, while Eliza helped Kara with the rest. Actually, they took turns. Kara could walk, eat normally, her usual appetite coming back slowly, but she couldn’t raise her arm too high or stay in the same position for too long, or change clothes and take a shower alone, so Eliza managed to find ways for her to be comfortable on the couch, so she could enjoy the afternoons watching cartoons with Lizzie, teaching her new words. Lizzie grew even more attached to her yeyu, and every time she met Ellie on the floor, lying beside Agnes, she’d give her toys to the little girl and would try to kiss her face, though very clumsily. Lena always had to remind her that Ellie was little and everything had to be done carefully around her.

The weirdest thing was the way the little blonde girl would touch her sister’s face and Lizzie would close her eyes, the way she would smile as if she was seeing something no one else was. They would share a completely different connection, always understanding each other and sticking together. Lizzie would simply spend all her time around her young sister. When Lena came to feed her, she had to let Lizzie climb her legs because she wanted to watch it and most times, both of them ended up falling asleep in her arms. Kara and Lena didn’t really get it, but their hearts could burst out of love for those two special girls.

It wasn’t all great though, of course. There were days that Lena had to be present for a meeting at CatCo or L-Corp and she didn’t want to throw all the responsibilities at Eliza to handle on her own. That caused immense frustration in the couple and always led to discussions. Kara didn’t want to be invalid, being more a burden than of help and making Lena nervous. Lena would sigh tiredly, Ellie and Lizzie would be crying by now, screaming and requesting attention, the tv always turned on in the background, the mess in the house seemed bigger in those times and nothing felt right. That wasn’t the life they had pictured for themselves, but no one said it would be easy. Lena trusted Kara, too much even, but that wasn’t the point, it was the fact that Kara was still recovering. Eliza wouldn’t intrude, only when she noticed both of them needed time and space to think. So she would put her granddaughters on the stroller cart and go around the neighborhood, enjoying the nice weather and letting the girls figure themselves out.

The truth was that Lena was exhausted, and so was Kara. Her powers weren’t back yet, she couldn’t spend the little energy she had, she hated being inside and hated being useless even more. To see her girlfriend busy in her excessively stressful routine made Kara feel like she wasn’t much use now. Her always happy humor became bloomy, frustrated, and irritating. And Kara knew that bothered everyone else too.

That day, Lena said they’d talk as soon as she came back and that Kara should think well about her words because they hurt. Every time Kara thought about leaving the house and mentioned it out loud, she could hear Lena’s heartbeat speed up since now her super hearing was back. Kara would then run into the bathroom and shed bitter tears because she was doing everything wrong, she was hurting someone that had nothing to do with her own anguishes. It was in those specific moments Kara reconsidered if coming back had been really worth it if it wouldn’t have been better for everyone if she was gone forever. Even when Alex came to visit her, whether that was alone or alongside Sam and Ruby, Kara couldn’t feel entirely well. And so, in that afternoon, Kara made an important decision, one that she had already discussed with Winn a few days ago when he brought Leah over to play with Agnes. James also talked to her about it, he worried too much about her.

Eliza didn’t take long to come back home and asked her daughter to keep an eye on the girls while she took a shower. She didn’t ask about the argument, just kissed her cheeks and assured her everything was going to be gone, that at some point, they were going to find the path to the way it used to be. Kara, though feeling an ache on her ribs, sat on the floor with her daughters and turned on the television. Ellie cried quietly, hungry and Lizzie asked for “yummy, yummy”, both really sleepy and tired. Kara prepared the baby bottles and headed to her room, where she laid them on each side of the bed, next to her body, making them comfortable under her arms, and held the bottles for both of them. The sound of suction and the starting rain was the only noise in the room, which made her wonder. In a few minutes, Lizzie fell asleep, while Ellie continued to fight against it, taking a little longer to close her eyes. Kara took the eldest to the crib in the room right in front of theirs and went back to make the youngest burp before lying down again. Being with Ellie was a different kind of feeling for Kara, because she too, understood what it was like to be alone in the dark, and Kara didn’t want to grow up with that feeling.

Lena arrived and found the house in a turmoil mess, something she was going to get used to for now. Eliza was in the living room, gathering the toy on the floor and humming an unfamiliar song. She smiled at her daughter-in-law and pointed to the second floor. Putting her heels aside and her purse on the table, Lena went up the stairs carefully, creaking her daughter’s room door slowly, and watched her sleep peacefully. She turned around and went to her bedroom, to find the two blondes sleeping scattered on the bed. Ellie held her yeyu’s shirt tight, while Kara rested a hand on her back, making sure she wouldn’t roll over or get hurt while sleeping. Her blonde hair covered the pillow and Lena could feel the sweet smell of camomile from the door both of them exhaled.

“Lena?” she smiled and Lena climbed on the mattress, lying behind her daughter and leaning her elbow on the pillow.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you” Lena whispered back.

“I was waiting for you” Kara stared at her upset and a shadow of guilt took over her limpid blue eyes “they were tired” she caressed the baby’s clean hair “and so are we” she confessed, getting Lena by surprise.

But it wasn’t a lie, it was far from it.

“I’ll put her in the crib” Lena tried to get up but Kara held her by the wrist.

“Can we stay here with her in between, uh… just for a little while?” Lena arched a brow, confused and Kara sighed “I… I don’t want her to grow up like me, thinking she’s alone.”

“Kara…”

“It’s true, Lena, and it’s how I feel, sometimes” Kara confessed, averting her eyes to her daughter’s colored pajamas “and I… I know I have to fix this, but I don’t want Ellie to think we don’t love her.”

And so Lena understood it and didn’t deny her request. She got closer to her baby’s fragile body and Kara followed suit. That was the way they wanted the girl to grow up, surrounded by love, care, and a family that would never abandon her. They stayed that way for a couple of minutes, just lying down, hearing the rain tumble on the window and watching the sun say goodbye again, giving his place to the dark blue blanket covered in shiny dots. Kara whispered to Ellie some words in kryptonian, the same way she would do with Lizzie, wanting her to get used to her native language as well. Lena simply observed the devotion and dedication her girlfriend would have to make sure the girls would have the best of the best every day.

Ellie was then moved to the crib and now there was an empty space between them. One that had already been there when he fought and argued.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier” Kara broke the silence and reached for Lena’s cold hand “I just…. I think I’m tired of staying at home, not doing anything, and still being a burden. But still, I shouldn’t have said those things” Lena stared at her and realized how small and broken Kara looked.

“I forgive you, Kara, but your words hurt, especially when you say you want to leave” she sighed, her lips trembling and her eyes full of tears “I need you here, how am I going to deal with all of this if you… if us…” she covered her mouth and muffled the sound of a painful cry that managed to escape.

“I know, I know…” Kara pulled her close and lied with her on the mattress again. Lena embraced her waist softly and laid her head on her chest. They loved each other so much and it still hurt “I’m sorry, I’m not leaving. There’s a lot kept inside me and I… I don’t know how to deal with them, you know?” she nodded quietly “and I want to help, I don’t want you to take my responsibilities away, I’m not sick.”

“I’m sorry for that” Lena said in a whisper, “I think that after everything, I just wanted to protect you”

“And I appreciate that, but I’m not in danger here” she pointed out and they looked at each other under the dim light “I want you to let me take care of our daughters, I want to take them out, I want to visit you at L-Corp and have lunch with you in CatCo, because I miss you” Kara confessed, her tears streaming down.”

“I miss you too, every day” Lena kissed her deeply, taking her time on her lips “I know it’s stressing to stay here not doing anything and I know that we’re still going to go through a lot, Lizzie and Ellie demand too much energy from both of us and if we don’t do anything, we’ll go mad.”

“What do you suggest?” Kara asked curiously and Lena smiled.

“I talked to Sam about it, about our fights and she helped me understand that I was taking too much from you” Kara was startled “yeah, I know, and I did it without realizing. Then, since I was already at a CatCo meeting, I talked to James and he proposed an interesting idea, but I need you to decide.”

“I’m getting nervous,” she sighed.

“Alex said your exams are going well, your wound is already healed, thanks to the sunbathes and so we don’t need patches anymore” Lena explained, “but, too much effort can still harm you, so you have to be careful, but…”

“Lena! Ugh… just say it” she laughed.

“James, me, and Alex agreed that you can go back to working at CatCo part-time, so you can still rest and spend time with the girls” Kara gasped and the words vanished from her mouth.

It couldn’t be true. After a month in a coma and then a month and a half at home, Kara could finally get back in the field, well, not literally. However, she didn’t even know how to thank her, or what to say. So she kissed the Luthor desperately, pressing her lips on hers urgently and thirsty as if she was trying to say it all in that action. Then, Kara held her tight and cried in relief, for having someone that understood her so well and so lovingly.

“I hope you’re happy” Lena joked, stroking the blond soft hair.

“Rao! Lena!” she murmured “I don’t… don’t even know how to thank you!” she laughed at her own silly tears “I too have good news.”

“I’m listening” Lena intertwined their legs and continued her hypnotizing caress, her hands going up behind her neck and ears. Non-stop.

“I arranged a therapy session with J’onn” Lena frowned and got confused for a moment. “Well, not literally therapy, but I need help to deal with my fears and my past, and he can read my mind and tell me how to get over it. I… uh, I thought that maybe… it was a good idea?” and her rambling began “he had already tried it before, but I didn’t really let him and… well, er… it just kept accumulating and then, well… what do you think?”

“First of all, breathe” Lena replied, “and second, I think it’s a great idea.”

“Really? You’re not… upset?” Kara wrinkled her nose and this time Lena leaned in to close the gap.

“I understand that there are things we’ll never be able to talk about to one another fully and that we also need help from other people, that’s normal, Kara” Lena explained “I’m glad you found someone you trust to talk about it and I hope J’onn can help you with all of it. And even though you already chose him, I’m always going to be here if you can to talk about anything.”

“I love you so much, Lena” Kara kissed her again, taking her hand off her hair and intertwining her fingers “so, so, so much” she whispered between kisses, moving up and getting on top of her.

The make-out session progressed quickly and exponentially, taking the breath from both of them and causing that familiar feeling of desire. They didn’t have a lot of time to have sex and when they did, they had to be careful for Kara was still sore. Kara trailed down her lips on her neck, biting softly every inch of skin and sucking on her pulse point. Lena bit her lips and muffled a moan that climbed her lungs up to her throat. It was amazing how Lena could lose all her senses with just foreplay. And so she felt the smart fingers undo her shirt, exposing her bra and stomach.

“Kara…” Lena whimpered hoarsely and panted “Kara… Ellie…”

“Just don’t make any noise” Kara retorted dryly “I promise I won’t take long.”

“And Lena nodded, too inebriated by her firm hand opening her pants to argue.

“Rao, Lena…” Kara said quietly and watched her. Watched the way her girlfriend’s pupils covered her green irises and Kara knew she didn’t look very far from it too.

She stroked one finger on her wet cunt slowly, heating her heartbeat race and beat in despair. She opened her folds and pressed her clit with her thumb, massaging it in circles. Lena grabbed the sheets and closed her eyes, focusing on not waking up the baby. Kara smirked and decided to provoke her, teasing slipping in but never doing it, going up again and exploring her sex thoroughly, dampening everything on the way.

“K-Kara… for fuck’s sake…” Lena complained impatiently. Kara laughed and kissed her, tasting her tongue and making her moan.

Two fingers slipped in firmly and began an in and out movement. Lena spread more, letting Kara pull down her pants to her knees and then press on her boob only covered by the bra. The moment seemed to last forever, and at the same time, it happened too quickly. The spasms came in and took over whatever was left of her sanity and then took the Luthor to heaven and beyond, leaving her shaking and speechless. Still, inside of her, Kara lied to her girlfriend and kissed her calmly, biting on her under lips and refocusing on her clit again. Lena panted and moaned quietly, her whole body responding instantly to the touch. And that took her over the edge a second time that afternoon.

Since their daughters were still asleep, Lena dragged the kryptonian to the shower, where she could prove her love fearlessly while listening to her name fall out of her mouth non-stop.

 

***

 

“Ms. Luthor” Jess called her by the door “just passing by to tell you your meetings for today were rescheduled, the Japanese investor will be arriving tomorrow around nin and I need the papers signed until Saturday to send to the interns.”

“Okay, Jess, is my schedule ready?” the secretary smiled and put it on the desk.

“All properly set and arranged” she nodded “can I help you with anything else?”

“Alex and Kara are arriving for lunch, please, transfer all the calls to you and then keep me posted on them” she nodded and as soon as she left, Sam came in excitedly, barely containing her joy “well well, if it isn’t the most anxious bride in National City” Lena teased.

“You only say that because Kara hasn’t proposed yet” Sam shot back, leaving Lena red from head to toe “I can’t believe we’re finally deciding the last details and starting to look for dresses.”

“Everything is going to work out, Sam, trust me” Lena replied, “have you hired a ceremonialist yet?”

“Yes, and she is going to show us every possible avenue for the party. Alex wants something big but I don’t know if I want that much attention” Sam confided, indecisive “anyway, I’m going to accept whatever she wants.”

“Truly, a woman in love” Lena teased again and Sam shrugged. If her fiance was happy, then she was happy too.”

The door creaked open and the two Danvers walked holding the packages with lunch. Lena and Sam got up to say hi and they all headed to the white couch. The plates were set on the center table and the talk began distractedly, Alex telling them how the DEO was dealing with Supergirl’s absence and how the agents had learned to deal with Reign. What was the funniest of it all was that though they were all terrified of her, they still admired her for the heroically brutal actions. By the way, there were bets even, depending on the size of the alien she was fighting. Of course, Reign would always win.

“How are the girls?” Lena asked her girlfriends.

“Eliza called me and said they just had lunch and now are sleeping” she replied mouthful “Lizzie ate all the carrots this time. And Ellie had three baby bottles in a row.”

“And now one is surprised” Alex joked “they all have your appetite, Kara.”

“Thank God Lena is a billionaire” Sam commented “Alex alone can eat six slices of pizza!”

“Look who’s talking, and I had to learn to eat fast, okay?” Alex defended herself “I grew up in a house that if I didn’t eat fast, I wouldn’t eat at all.”

“Hey! I always left food for you!” Kara gasped.

“Salad isn’t food!”

“That’s why I left it for you” Kara answered childishly, making Sam and Lena snort “also, the fault is only yours now, you’re destined to have a kryptonian in your life forever.”

“One?” Lena arched a brow “four.”

“God, and Lois is having a baby” Sam pointed out “we’ll be six, counting Clark in.”

“I’m definitely not affording family lunches” Lena grumbled and they all turned to her “okay, I know I will.”

They laughed.

“You’re unable to say no to a kryptonian, Lena” Alex pointed out.

“I’d pay to see Lilian get a Christmas card with her daughter surrounded by Supers” Lena provoked, turning her friend’s smile to a smirk “I’d be the best day of my life.”

“Lena Luthor, mother of aliens” Alex used her best theatricality “I like it.”

“Fuck off” Lena sighed and Alex menaced at her “how is the wedding planning going?”

“Yeah!” Kara jumped up “and what was the surprise? I’m dying of curiosity.”

“And getting on my hair ever since you called to say you had a surprise” Lena pointed out and Kara pouted “I’m just telling the truth, darling” she gave her a quick peck on the lips.

“Hm, well…” Alex looked over to her fiance, who smiled mysteriously “it’s two things actually, one is for you two and the other one is because we want to tell before doing it.”

“Alexandra, you’re giving me nervous gastritis” Lena cut it impatiently.

“Me too!” Kara exclaimed “uh… or almost that, figuratively speaking” she smiled with blushing cheeks.

“This is for you two” Sam held two white boxes with golden details. Lena arched a brow but remained quiet “just open it.”

They put their food aside and focused on the gifts. The anxiety was eating them alive and soon they undid the cetin lace and opened the gift. The surprise hit them hard, making them lose air for a moment and turn to Sam and Alex, who smiled with excitement and anxiousness. It was an invitation for them to be maids of honor. The best invitation in the world. Inside, there was an equally pearled cetin robe, writing maid of honor on it and their respective names, further down, a candle and a glass of champagne. So that was it, the Danvers-Arias family was really officializing the union and nothing would make Kara and Lena refuse that invitation.

“What do you say?” Alex asked hesitantly.

“Oh, Rao, Alex!” Kara got up and jumped on her sister, holding her tight and thanking Rao her super strength wasn’t fully back yet, otherwise Alex wouldn’t be breathing by now “you’re getting married, I can’t believe it!”

Lena used the time the sisters were lost in each other and turned to her friend, feeling immensely proud of her for that accomplishment. She knew Sam well, she understood her pains and how hard it was to get kicked out of her home and raise a child on her own. To see her marry a woman as amazing as Alex relieved Lena, she trusted Alex would be the best to take care of her best CFO. Lena held her tight, whispering some loving words in her ear and hearing her cry silently, emotional about fulfilling a dream that always felt so distant. They all calmed down, laughing at one another for crying and turning to one big emotional moment. They gathered the leftovers, piled the plates, and felt a new kind of relief.

“Do you have anywhere to be after here?” Lena questioned Sam.

“Me and Alex are dropping by the lawyer’s office for the last detail and then we’re visiting my mother” Sam sighed nervously, trying to stay away from the subject “Alex didn’t think it was fair to not tell her about the wedding.”

“She’s your mother and though you don’t want her to be here, you need to figure out what was left unsolved” Alex held her hand and kissed her cheek “I’m going to be there with you.”

“Us too, Sam” Kara reached for her other hand “by the way, what was the other thing?”

“Well, can we have dinner with you guys tonight?” Sam asked out “we won’t take long and we can take Ruby and Krypto to see the girls.”

“Also, we want Eliza to be present too” Alex added “so?”

“Fine by me, I’m leaving here and heading to CatCo for a meeting with James and Eve” Lena replied “I’m making some changes and it’s unacceptable for someone like Ms. Teschmacher to be stuck handling coffees.”

“What are you going to do about her?” Kara asked, suddenly overcome by curiosity.

“I’m making her CFO of the company and Sam is going to train her” Alex and Kara’s eyes shot wide open “I can’t assure I can handle two multimillionaire companies and motherhood, it simply isn’t going to work and I recognize my limits.

“Wow… I… wow!” Alex gasped “you’re going to give that woman a heart attack!”

“Winn is going to compliment you non-stop now” Kara mumbled, jealous “he already had a fanaticism for you that just… uh, pisses me off” she crossed her arms.

“And my fanaticism is only for you, baby” Lena kissed her cheek and she turned bright red.

“You two are terribly cute, it disgusts me” Alex groaned, making Sam laugh out loud.

“We’ll see who’s going to cry on the wedding day” her fiance teased and her mouth fell open on a perfect O.

“Hey! Whose side are you on?” They all laughed.

“Yours, always, baby” she kissed her lips.

“Who is disgusted now, right?” Lena teased and Alex rolled her eyes.

“Fuck off, Lutessa.”

 

***

 

The sun had already set that day and the kitchen was flooded by the intense, delicious smell of meat and potatoes baking. Eliza Danvers’ specialty, besides, of course, her vegetable pie. Lena left Kara distracted with the kids while tidying the living room quickly, the best way possible because J’onn would be arriving in a few minutes. Though the mess bothered her, Lena was already getting used to the fact that she couldn’t have everything under control now. She wouldn't always manage to be presentable, or willing to get out of bed to get ready, to gather the toys, to keep the girls clean and the dishes washed. And that wasn’t an issue. Sure, Lena still had help from a cleaning secretary for the house, after all, she was a Luthor and had enough money for that sort of thing. But the woman only came a few days every month and made sure everything was the way Lena said so.

Kara showered Lizzie and Ellie, combed their hair, put on clean clothes, and let them play on the living room’s carpet, taking her time to invade the kitchen and grab a quick bite, though Eliza stopped her immediately, Kara eventually got some food from her girlfriend.

Around seven in the evening, the doorbell rang and they were all ready, J’onn brought dessert and smiled as he saw the Luthor-Danvers family was doing well. Lena got the frozen pie with triple chocolate - Kara’s favorite - and carried it over to the fridge. The martian made himself at home, greeting Eliza and going straight to his granddaughters. Lizzie shot her arms open quickly to be carried up and laughed as she tickled her belly. Ellie, still not knowing many words or quite what to do, studied him curiously and smiled shyly. J’onn winked at the baby and just placed a finger on his temple, able to see exactly what she was showing and wanted to say, though without a word. Kara was always impressed about the way Ellie had so much control over her psychic and mental powers, unsure of how to deal with it. It was still complicated to enter the illusions and manipulation the baby made.

What made that fact even worse was that Ellie was way too young and her mind wandered through her creative imagination. No accidents or issues had happened so far, and Lizzie just enjoyed her sister’s fun creations.

Thirty minutes later, the table already set, the Danvers-Arias family arrived and brought more fun with them, because those two could be stand-up comedians if they wanted to. Sam brought her famous pasta and cheese, Ruby entered the house running to hug her grandmother and show her the new hair, because yes, her other mother, who was very irresponsible, had convinced Sam to let her paint the girl’s hair blue. The deal was that it was only the edges. Alex, according to herself, only brought the cup and the hunger, because she couldn’t cook. Soon they were all seated, the talk streamed laid back, J’onn narrated the bets the agents placed on Reign. Apparently, the kryptonian liked that attention and loved to be challenged, so the exhibitionism was part of her performance. That ended up in a lot of laughter and a respectable amount of money was being passed around the DEO.

The wine was poured and since Ruby was already by the couch, watching some childish cartoon with her cousins, Alex called for attention.

“Well, as Sam and I have told you that afternoon, we have some news” she could feel her hand sweaty and cold. Sam turned to her and intertwined their fingers under the table, giving her more confidence.

“We talked for a couple of months about it and we usually left it aside because it was too early, too rushed” Sam explained, “but now, with the wedding, we want to take that step.”

“And I want your opinion, mom” Alex looked at Eliza, making the older woman even more confused.

“Whatever it is, just say it” Eliza encouraged “you’re making me nervous.”

“I’m scared when that little hand begins to work too much” J’onn joked off, smiling at Alex “it can’t be anything bad, can it?”

“Rao! Alex, just say it!” Kara complained, “I already have a roundworm from anxiety!”

“It’s gastritis, honey” Lena stroked her shoulder and they laughed. Kara turned bright red from embarrassment but shrugged “go on.”

“Since we're joining our last names, we wanted Ruby to be part of it too” Alex grabbed some papers from her bag and laid them down carefully “turns out it had to be figured out in another way.”

“Alex…” Lena put her glass down and observed her face attentively “are you saying that…”

“Rao!”

“That’s… wow, a big step!” J’onn said surprised, “are you adopting Ruby?”

“Yes,” Alex smiled widely and turned to Sam. Happiness was taking over her body and her heart was about to burst. “Ruby is going to be a Danvers now and she doesn’t know yet.”

“We’re telling her as soon as the lawyer brings the official papers and we sign it” Sam explained and Alex held her hand. It was their moment, of finally being the family they desired so much. They had been through so much, overcome so many obstacles, and learned how to respect each other’s time.

And Ruby deserved to be part of that with their moms.

“Alex, I’m so happy for you!” Eliza cleaned her tears and got up to hug her oldest daughter “not that I need any papers to consider her my granddaughter but I’m so glad you’re so sure of it.”

“Thank you, mom, I really want to run out screaming and throwing these papers to the streets” she exhaled and they all laughed “please, let’s eat before I start crying and get worse than pregnant Lena was.”

“Hey!” Lena rolled her eyes “that’s some audacity to come into my house and say those things about me.”

“Welcome to the family” J’onn provoked and laughed “Alex has had this habit ever since I’ve known her, but she’s completely soft inside.”

“J’onn!” Alex gasped, offended “Shh!”

“We know the truth, baby” Sam kissed her cheeks “there’s no hiding it.”

“True, Titanic is still her favorite movie, and every time Jack died I had to get her ice cream” Kara commented and Alex looked at her in shock.

“Kara Zor-El! Ugh!” she sighed, in disbelief “that was a secret!”

“So you have a crush on Leonardo Di Caprio?” Lena teased and Alex didn’t know where to hide her face “interesting, Miss I’m Totally Gay.”

“Fuck you, Lutessa” Alex shot back.

“Isn’t it a poster of his that’s hidden on the DEO’s 18th deposit?” J’onn joined the joke.

“J’onn! What is wrong with you” Alex felt she could die of embarrassment “and no, I didn’t have a crush on Leonardo.”

“Actually, that poster is hidden inside your closet in Midvale, I think the one you brought here was a Steven Tyler one?” Eliza joined in and Alex almost hid under the table, they all laughed at her drama.

“I didn’t know if I liked Liv Tyler more or him” Sam confessed and Lena snorted.

“Welcome to the bisexual world” Lena winked at her friend.

“Can we change the subject?” Alex groaned “Kara, that would be a great time for you to say you’re hungry and then embarrass yourself instead of me.”

“This is your moment, sis,” Kara teased and smirked.

“I’ll go get the meat, go ahead and serve yourselves” Eliza announced and got up, but before she could step away, Lena held her wrist lightly.

“Can you wait a moment? Kara and I also have news for you all” Lena asked shyly.

“God, I hope it’s not another kid!” Alex exclaimed, making her fiance snort “I swear, someone needs to stop those two.”

“To be honest, I wouldn’t even be surprised by now” J’onn took a sip of his wine and waited for the news.

May it not be another child, he prayed in silence.

“You’re jealous because I have two beautiful, cute daughters” Kara stood in defense of her babies “and for now we don’t want more kids.”

Lena choked on the wine and her eyes shot wide open.

“F-for… now? Kara!” Kara laughed and her cheeks blushed “I’m not going to mother a football team!”

“Oh God, picture how crazy Lilian would be?” Sam laughed evilly “wow, why did I let her miss all the fun?”

“Your humor is so dark” Eliza commented and her daughter-in-law blushed “but I’d like to see that too.”

“I joined the right family” Sam high-fived her mother-in-law.

“At least you know what a high five is” Kara murmured to herself.

“Can we focus here?” J’onn requested and Lena thanked him mentally. At least someone helped her inside that mess.

“No, we’re not having another child,” Lena said decisively “and that wasn’t the subject at all” she turned to her girlfriend who sat up straight immediately “since Lizzie has godparents, we decided to pick two people to be the same to Ellie, she deserves it too after all.”

“You’re right” Eliza nodded “and who would it be?”

“I picked one and Lena chose the other” Kara got up as fast as she could, still without her super-speed really back, and sat down again, now with two little boxes in her hands “J’onn this one is for you” she gave it to him and he froze in place, every muscle in his body stopped functioning.

It couldn’t be true, him?

“And Sam, this is one is for you” Lena gave it to her friend and she felt her eyes tear up again.

“Fuck off, Lena, I wasn’t supposed to cry today!” Sam groaned and she smiled.

“Kara, are you serious?” J’onn still didn’t believe it, he had never gotten such a special and unexpected request. During his stay on Earth, he had learned a few mores, most of them really, and he knew well that this request didn’t just make him a godfather, but responsible for the life of a person who was always going to be part of his heart.

And that struck him down hard, leaving him speechless and reactionless.

“You became someone important to me, J’onn” Kara reached for her hands on the other side of the table, “I think of you as a father and Ellie found shelter in you, she understands you and you can deal with her better than any of us. I wouldn’t trust her to anyone else” and so, J’onn sighed and allowed his tears to fall.

“Thank you, I promise to honor this commitment as long as I live,” he smiled awkwardly.

“Right, can we eat now?” Ruby showed up out of nowhere and stepped in between her mothers “I’m hungry.”

“Go serve yourself, honey” Eliza handed her a plate “eat the vegetables and there’s soda in the fridge.”

“Okay, grandma!” she yelled from the other side of the room, already running for the fridge.

“I have some news on the EDLX-4 case” while everyone was moving around and helping themselves, Alex changed the subject “and also about Lizzie.”

“We’re listening,” J’onn encouraged.

“Don’t worry, she’s okay” Alex reassured as she saw Lena’s concerned look “but I must say her powers are going to be far more than expected.”

“What do you mean?” Kara frowned and heard Lizzie laugh from the cartoon, which made her heart skip a beat.

“Well, theoretically, she's going to develop slowly, like Lizzie, with her super speed, hearing, etc, etc” Alex tasted the pie and contained a moan from the delicious taste “I got in touch with someone people, who took me to other people and I ended up getting a report from a lot of similar examples to Ellie.”

“To shorten it” Sam interrupted, “a lot of people were impressed.”

“What are her powers now?” Eliza questioned.

“Telekinesis, which is basically her ability to move objects and people with the power of her mind. That power has two ways of being channeled, so it can be used either through her hands and mind” Alex explained and took a few more papers from the folder “the ability to read minds, to put thoughts in random heads it’s simply what we call telepathy. And finally, reality manipulation, which is to put it simply, the ability to change reality. Actually, she hasn’t fully developed either of them yet, but they’ll get stronger in time. Ellie knows which one you want and uses your memories, dreams, and thoughts to create a perfect reality where you get lost inside if you don’t pay attention to it.”

“Wow” Kara got thoughtful and turned around, observing the baby shoot her hands up and try to reach the remote on the table “and… and is… that dangerous? How did you find that info?”

“Barry led me to a contact in Gother, I swear that city is the main stage for bizarre things” Alex commented “I don’t really know her, but her name is Barbare Gordon.”

“And she still accepted to answer some questions?” Lena looked hesitant and truly concerned about her daughter’s well-being “that sounds so… scary. Ellie isn’t even a year old yet.”

“But she knows very well what she’s capable of doing” J’onn tried to calm her down “it’s not like she’s not in control, just like Lizzie knows she can hurt someone. But they are Luthors, Lena, don’t doubt their ability to ratiocinate.” he smiled and Lena sighed.

“I just wanted…” her phone rang over the shelves “I’m sorry, I’ll be right back.”

Lena got up and looked at the screen where her lawyer’s number shot bright up. It couldn’t mean anything good, usually, he only called when Lena solicited, or when her mother had done something regarding the family’s money. However, Lilian was dead and Lena hadn’t talked to him lately. Her anxiety crawled up her throat and laced up her vocal cords. Breathe, Lena repeated like a mantra. Breathe in. Before she could answer it, Lena felt a firm and warm embrace by two strong arms and the familiar feeling took over her body. Her mind relaxed but she couldn’t help but think about worst-case scenarios while the phone rang in her hands. Kara kissed the back of her neck and then her cheeks. She guided her to the laundry room outside and Lena finally answered it.

As she predicted, it wasn’t good news and Kara could recognize the shock in her lover’s green eyes.

The phone fell to the floor and if Kara hadn’t been fast or attentions enough, her girlfriend also wouldn’t have fallen. Her cold, unconscious body fell onto hers, leaving Kara completely startled and despaired. Kara reached for the phone on the ground and heard the lawyer call for Lena on the other side, not understanding her sudden disappearance.

“Ms. Luthor?”

“No, this is Kara” she answered “Kara Danvers.”

“Oh, yes, Ms. Danvers” he continued “I’m sorry to call at this time, but I’ve received a message from the Metropolis’ maximum security prison.”

“What happened?” she noticed Alex bursting in running to them, followed by Sam and Eliza.

“It’s about Lex Luthor” he replied, “he passed away half an hour ago.”

 

***

 

It was a teary Saturday, perhaps in sympathy for the heartbroken Luthor. It wasn’t the fact of facing death, that action had become pretty common for her already, Lena had faced and dared against the angel of death countless times, always escaping the kiss that would take her last breath of life away. In fact, the feeling of confusion and disappointment walked alongside her throughout the whole way to the private cemetery, where the Luthor family had an area with a chamber where their bodies would rot together, just like their secrets and unforgivable mistakes. As a child, Lena accompanied her parents to the funeral of an unknown great-uncle, and the girl with shiny green eyes wondered about when it was going to be her time when she was going to turn purple and freezing and would finally be at peace. Maybe that way she would be part of the family, she thought to herself. Death made them equal.

The only thing that united all of them in that cruel, empty world.

Kara was silent during the whole ceremony, unsure of what to say. Clark met them in Metropolis as soon as he got the news of his old friend and nemesis passing. Eliza traveled with them and was responsible for the girls, because Lena, though in need of time and space, wouldn’t let them behind. What broke her heart was when the jailor handed her the few belongings of her brother, showing her that you take nothing from this life, it all stays and only your soul is your penitence. In the midst of a few items of clothing, personal objects, books, a notebook, and an old glass, was the photograph that Lena sent him after her life had stabilized. It wasn't any picture, but a photo she had taken of Lizzie and Ellie in the garden, lying over a yellow and blue towel. Lena didn’t want Lex to go never seeing his nieces, though it wasn’t quite safe. Something in her heart still made her believe her brother had good in him.

The guard that found him unconscious in his cell, said that he had the photo hanged on the wall next to the bed and that it was the last remains of humanity that kept him alive. Behind it, Lex wrote what he still remembered, because his disease was taking his memories little by little. There was the girl’s birth date, Lena’s eye color, some mathematical formulas and theorems, and the name of his mother, Lilian Luthor. He clung to what he could and, by the end, he didn’t have any more strength to hold on. Life was fair, was what she believed.

After a long conversation with the lawyers, the funerary took his body to be cleaned and ready. Lena and Kara checked into a hotel and Eliza spent the day with Lois, since the reporter couldn’t even get out of the house anymore due to her pregnancy. The Daily Planet, and other big newspapers in town, all shared the same subject. The paparazzi were on call 24 hours straight, searching for the only heir now, to the Luthor empire. They all wanted to know what she was going to do if she was going to take over her brother’s stocks if she was going to say anything about her daughters or put out a statement about her mother’s death. It was two days of living hell, Lena had to hide behind her security guards and protect her girls. If it weren’t for Kara, she would have crumbled right there. However, at any point, she didn’t allow herself to cry. No, Lena took a deep breath, and even as she watched her funerary agents lower the casket into the grave that would keep him there forever, no tear was shed.

The hired priest’s voice echoed in the background but Lena wasn’t listening and was not paying attention. It felt like her senses were being shut off and a weird numbness had overcome her body. Kara was by her side, holding the umbrella for both of them and breathing quietly, scared of breaking the tension hanging in the air. The thunders warned that soon Metropolis would receive another storm again and the few people that were there for the funeral soon left, one by one, leaving only Clark, Lois, Eliza, and the two sleeping babies on the stroller with them. Superman touched his girlfriend’s shoulder lightly, indicating it would be best to leave them alone for a while and she nodded, guiding Eliza with them.

Lena was frozen, mute and her face was completely blank and Kara feared for what could happen if her girlfriend didn’t put her feelings out there.

“Can you leave me alone?” was the only thing she asked.

Kara sighed and stepped away, always looking back.

Lena waited for them all to leave, the little man that closed the chamber was the only one left. So she reached in her pocket, the coat wet from the rain, and took out a white queen and the photograph she had given Lex. She placed both over the coffin and did the taciturn farewell.

Because there would never be enough words to explain the pain she was feeling.

 

**

 

The rain hit the room’s window hard and Kara was awake, tense. After Lena fell asleep, she couldn’t help but observe the way her chest would go up and down in slow, tired breathing. One week after her brother’s death, Lena still wasn’t talking about it, not even showing any emotions about it. And that concerned Kara to her bones. Also, Kara had to constantly save her from the nightmares, the unconscious crying during her sleep, and also the screams. Lena was suffering in silence and was scared of showing the growing turmoil inside her soul after the loss of someone so important. Though she could take some days off, Sam had insisted to, and Alex kept calling her to talk and Eliza tried to make the situation better, Lena continued her routine as if nothing had happened. As if Lex hadn't been dead for eight days now and left an empty space inside her chest.

So Kara was there, watching her sleep and preparing to save her from any monster inside her head.

“Lena” Kara shook her shoulder as she heard her sob and her eyes squeeze tight “Lena, baby, Lena!”

But she didn’t reach and her body started to tremble in panic.

“Lena, listen to my voice” Kara pulled her close and moved the hair from her face “shh, you’re safe, you’re home.”

She continued to sob and unconsciously held onto her girlfriend’s waist.

“Pay attention to my voice, it’s just a nightmare” she kissed her forehead “Lena, open your eyes, please,” she asked softly, her own heart calling out for help.

Help because she knew Lena had gone through so much in so little time. Help because she got close to losing everything and still lost a big part of herself. Help because Lena didn’t have the habit of showing weakness and lowering her head and that wasn’t any good.

And then her eyes shot wide open, limpid like crystals and covered in palpable terror. She hid her face in Kara’s neck and cried bitterly for all she had swallowed and kept herself from feeling. Her body began to shake, her arms embraced the entirety of her body, and all her soul bleeding in acid tears that leaked onto her cheeks. And Kaar cried with her because if she could take all that pain from her, she’d do it without thinking twice.

The minutes passed, it was still two and a half in the morning. National City was under the beginning of the spring storm and seemed to understand what Lena was going through. It was like the sky took pity on her and offered her own tears in tribute to her sweet, broken spirit. Her fingers caressed her dark hair, going up and down in a simple, velvet touch, always keeping her close, safe, and firm. Maybe she was scared of letting her go and Lena would tear apart right there in bed. Maybe she was the one who had to keep her whole up until the moment when she could help her go through that situation.

“Kara…” her sobs were quiet this time “it… it hurts… so m-much…”

“I know…” she breathed out “I’m sorry…”

“Promise me, K-Kara…” Lena raised her hands and held her face “p-promise me you’ll never leave me, please…” her voice trembled “I-I’m… I can’t…”

“Shh,” she kissed her forehead again and held her close “I’m not leaving, that’s a promise.”

“You… you almost did…” and there it was, the trigger to it all “it… it was so scary…”

“Forgive me” this time Kara held her face “I want you to listen to me well, okay?” she nodded “we’re still going to go through a lot of things and many of them are going to hurt us. But nothing will make me leave, nothing. I want to grow up by your side, to see our daughters reaching their dreams and grow old with you, even though I can’t do it, but it’s true. There’s no reason for me to be without you and, when you’re about to leave, I want to go with you” she confessed her heard her heart beat faster “I want to marry you, to see you walk down the aisle in our wedding day and call you Mrs. Danvers” she smiled widely “because nothing in the world would make me happier. You’re my family, my world, and I love you.”

“Kara…”

“Marry me” she repeated it “even though you’re scared, despite our overcomplicated lives.”

“Marry me” she whispered this time. And they got lost in the silence.

“I-I’m sorry…” Lena murmured exhausted, her voice almost vanishing “I’m sorry for hiding and not talking… I… I don’t know how to say what I feel, Kara. I can’t deal with this…”

“Me neither, but I’m here to help you” she reassured her actions from the last week “forever…”

“Do you really want to marry me?” Lena closed her eyes and she felt her thumb on her cheeks, making her even more sleepy “are you sure?”

“Are you really asking me that?” Kara whispered in quiet laughter and they both smiled weakly “it’s what I want the most, Lena. I know we won’t be able to talk about everything, but we’re going to learn it on the way.”

“You promise?” She kissed her slowly and passionately, trying to convey everything she had said.

“I promise.”

“I do,” Lena answered before falling asleep in the arms of the woman who could move mountains and worlds to prove her love.

And there was nothing more perfect than that.

 

***

 

The marriage subject was forgotten for a while and neither of them told anyway. Not because they had chickened out and didn’t want to get married anymore, but because it was going to take a while for it to happen. The proposal was done and the desire was there, but they still had to work through their own emotional baggage. Kara continued to ask J’onn for help for her own nightmares, allowing him to read her mind, to hold her when something brought her down. Lena accepted a three-day leave and allowed herself to cry over her old brother's death, but also took the time to look for her old childhood therapist and, luckily, she found her and the doctor gladly took her in again. During those three days, the Luthor-Danvers family asked for some space, except for Eliza, who was still living there and they weren’t going to kick her out. However, with Alex’s wedding coming up, her mother wanted to be closer to her daughter to accompany every detail up close and so, she was invited to stay the weekend there.

And so, Lena took Kara, Lizzie, and Ellie to the park, the mall, and the zoo. Julie had invited them over for lunch someday but they refused politely, choosing a family day and also a bit too tired to detail with conversation.

The spring sun lit up the green grass and shined on the dew drops like diamonds. The excited screams coming from the park made things even more intense and fun. The sandbox was full of kids, with toys spread around and footsteps everywhere. They had brought a basket filled with food, a huge towel to sit on, and also let the girls get as dirty as they wanted. Now, to Lizzie, everything was clearer, more interesting and she was able to interact with the other babies. Slowly, she got up and tried to take some steps forward, but soon fell back on the grass. Ellie, on the other hand, was lying on her step and dragged herself trying to reach her sister, who was her favorite person in the world. Kara helped Lizzie walk to the sand and sat there to build a castle with her, while Lena lied on the towel and placed Ellie by her side, teaching her animal sounds and the colors of the rainbow.

Never in her life, Lena thought her life could be like there, where she would spend her days gathering clothes scattered on the house and would rest to the sound of sneaky and noisy children. As she watched Kara call Lizzie to try and take a few more steps, Lena felt a sudden urge to cry. Cry because, despite all the pain and hurt, life was still good. She had an amazing girlfriend and two amazing daughters. Lena turned to Ellie and then pulled her closer, to her arms, and smelled her sun-kissed cheeks, hearing her laugh from the tickling.

“I love you, Ellie” Lena whispered to her, and then the two soft hands touched her face. The reality surrounding her changed, the park was gone and so were the people.

But Lena could see two kids, one around ten years old and the other quite older, probably not a kid anymore but a teenager. The youngest got up from the bench where she seemed to be waiting for someone and, when she saw the older boy smiling, she jumped up and ran to him. Her eyes soon teared up and she recognized those warm eyes and that anxiety.

Lex.

He was okay, he had come home, finally.

“Lena!” everything came back to normal and the sound of children invaded her mind again “Lena, look!” Kara called and she carried Ellie up.

Lizzie was standing again and laughing at something funny, that no one could quite tell what it was, as usual. The little legs shook and trembled, but she stood as firm as she could. She held a little shovel in her hands and a rubber pet. She looked at her mothers and sisters, feeling challenged, and then looked around as if studying something very important. Lena sat down next to her girlfriend, putting the baby in between her legs, and waited for the next action. Ellie shoved her hand on the sand and threw it up, messing up whatever clean part of her shirt was left and almost burying her leg inside the box.

“C’mon Liz!” Lena cheered “you can do it!”

Lizzie lost balanced and leaned both hands on the ground, leaving the toys aside.

“Look at yeyu,” Kara asked joyfully and proudly, “one foot at a time,” she recalled.

Ellie screamed with a smile and threw the sand up, again.

“I think we have a little troublemaker” Lena teased “c’mon, Liz! Mommy’s got you, go on!”

“She needs an incentive” Kara got up quickly and came back even faster “this!”

“A cookie?” Lena arched a brow.

“Liz, come get the cookie!” Kara pretended to eat it and Lizzie put on a pout “yeyu has a lot of them!”

Lizzie wrinkled her nose and looked at her yeyu. She trembled again, almost falling, and then fixated herself, positioning her feet in a way that would keep her safe. With a little patience and perseverance, the girl opened her arms slowly to help with the balance and took the first step, followed by another, and another. And another. Until she finally reached her mothers and fell into Kara's arms, laughing loudly and raising her hands towards the cookie. Of course, her biggest incentive would be for, she was a Danvers and a Zor-El. Lena clapped hands to congratulate her daughter and Kara joined it, raising the girl up in the air and throwing her up. Ellie laughed as she saw her sister go up and down in the air, her greenish eyes shining with excitement and also her desire to play.

“Someone needs a shower” Kara held Lizzie again and saw that her clothes, once pink, were now a strange shade of brown “actually, I think all of us do” she snorted.

“Then let’s get our things and go home, we can stop at the ice cream shop” and that was the magical word of the day “your phone is ringing.”

“Ops!” they went back to the towel on the grass and Kara answered it “yeah? What? Hm… okay.”

She hung up.

“Who was it?” Lena asked, a bit worried.

“Clark” Kara smiled, still, reactionless “Jonathan was born this morning!”

“God, Kara!” Lois had already told them she was beginning to feel contractions but they didn’t expect the baby to be born so soon “are you going to Metropolis?”

“Can I?” her cheeks turned pink and Lena rolled her eyes.

“Of course you can, that’s your family,” Lena spoke softly. “Let's go home, you need a shower and I’ll get your things ready.”

“Are you sure?” Kara asked hesitantly, she didn’t want to leave her girlfriend alone with the girls, especially because Eliza wasn’t there and Lena was still getting some nightmares “uh… I don’t… want you to be alone…”

“I know, darling, but Clark needs you, and the girls and I are going to be fine,” Lena said firmly “I can ask Sam to sleep over, would it make you more nonchalant?” They walked to the car and placed the girls on the baby seats at the back of the car.

“Yeah, a lot more” she smiled “How is she, by the way?”

“Alex took her to see her mother and she still hasn’t told me how that went” Lena let her worry show “Since you’ll be out of town I’ll ask her about it.”

“Okay, so… how am I going to get there?” Kara frowned. Only some of her powers had returned, but she still couldn’t fly.

“I’m a Luthor, Kara” she winked and started the car “I’ll ask Jess to get the jet ready.”

“You look so sexy when you talk like that, makes me want to stay here instead of traveling” Kara laughed, though her cheeks were redder than ever.

“We’ll fix that when you’re back” Lena winked, though she knew that matter would be solved as soon as the girls were asleep,

 

***

 

The jet flew on that same night and landed with only a few minutes of travel. Clark picked his cousin up discreetly and took her to the hospital where Lois was with his firstborn. The boy was the exact copy of his father, dark hair and grey eyes, which would probably turn blue in time. Unlike Kara’s firstborn, Jonathan was thinner, but also bigger. Lizzie was born tiny and flabby, with rounded cheeks and almost no hair. There was no doubt the baby was going to be beautiful and Kara knew she was in love already. When Kara stopped to think about it, her chest grew in prie and her heart raced at a dangerous speed, for a human. The memories of her parents, her home. her friends and her planet flooded her mind and made her nostalgic.

But, what she wanted the most was to see her mother’s face and know that both she and Kal, had succeeded on their missions. Maybe the legacy of Krypton was precisely that: family. And that word carried an intense meaning, especially from someone who had lost everything. Now Kara had people she could count on, starting from the Danvers, her first family, the one who helped her through her fears, nightmares, and the powers. Then her friends, Winn, James, Cat and so many others that had to leave sometimes, but were always remembered in her heart. And now, Lena. A smile cut her face every time she thought about the Luthor. Lena had not only given her a new perception of love, care, dedication, and patience, but she also taught her to be better in every aspect of her life. It was with her that Kara saw that friendship can turn into something greater and there’s nothing wrong with that.

It was with Lena that Kara realized that secrets should only be kept if they’re not destroying you from the inside out. That there’s nothing wrong with changing old concepts.

“How are Lena and the kids?” Lois asked sleepily while feeding the baby “I thought you were coming together.”

“They’re fine and it would be a bit troublesome to take them out of the house like that” Kara explained, “but I promise we’ll all come together next time and we’ll introduce Lizzie and Ellie to Jonathan.”

“I’ll charge it” Lois smiled “God isn’t he going to stop eating?”

“No” Clark and Kara answered together and laughed “you have to have this conversation with Lena, not me.”

“Good thing I have her number” she sighed “can you get me something to eat, honey?”

“Hungry, Kara?” Clark turned to his cousin and she laughed loudly.

“Psst, duh! Of course! Always” it was obvious.

“We’ll be back in a few minutes, if he sleeps, try to get some rest too” he kissed her head and she nodded.

“See you, Lois” Kara waved.

Leaving the hospital, they walked calmly through the streets up until a cafeteria about three blocks away. Clark told her about the birth, about the way he never felt so scared and hopeful. He also narrated how Lois could be the worst when she was nervous and in pain, which made Kara remember the way Lena was the day of Lizzie’s birth. Sure, not all memories from that day were good and if Kara could, she’d rather forget it, but still, she could relate to her cousin’s words. Silence reigned between them after the waiter took their orders, warning it would take about fifteen minutes for it to arrive. The table was next to the window and the place wasn’t crowded, after all, it was quite late. The only people in the streets were night workers, some young party people, and lonely ones.

“What are you thinking about?” Clark asked in a whisper. Kara sighed and began fidgeting with the table cloth.

“Your parents” she confessed awkwardly “how they would feel to know you’re well now and have a son.”

That caught the man of steel by surprise.

“I’m sorry…”

“No, no, no need to apologize” Clark shot it down “it’s just that… I feel we still have something unsolved between us and when we reach that subject, it’s a little…”

“Complicated?”

“Distant” he admitted, upset “I don’t know their faces, Kara. I don’t know what my mom looked like if she liked hugs if she was easy to piss off. I don’t know if my dad would have taught me to be a man, to fight, or would’ve helped me study. It’s like… like they don’t exist, you know?” Kara sighed, she had never thought about it that way, even though her biggest fear was forgetting her parents' faces and voices “I arrived here and I was raised as a human, by human parents and Martha was the greatest support I’ve ever had in life.”

“I didn’t know you felt that way, Kal,” she murmured.

“No one told me I was going to have powers, that I’d be able to fly or carry a truck in my back” he continued, a bit quieter “and, in a way, you already knew it.”

“Knowing didn’t make it any easier” Kara defended, a little upset “and knowing didn’t keep me from being scared, from breaking things and wishing I didn’t have them. And when I arrived, you already knew it too” she accused, though she didn’t mean to, bitterness was dripping down her tongue.

“I know” he closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath “Kara, the truth is that I was scared of failing you” he confessed “I had no idea how to help you, how to be the right person for you. I was a disaster during my childhood, I hid from everyone and everything scared I’d hurt someone and I don’t even know how to comfort you when you need it. Kara, I don’t even know how I’m going to be a father…”

And that surprised Kara, making her heart sank in her chest.

“Don’t say that, you’re going to be a wonderful father” Kara assured, “no one is born knowing it, and I can say it by experience.”

“When I took you to the Danvers, I didn’t want to be abandoning you, but part of me wanted it because you brought with yourself a reality that I was running from my whole life” he continued but were interrupted for a moment to get the food “you brought Krypton back, my parents, out family and a whole truth I didn’t feel ready to deal with yet. Martha and Jonathan had to learn on their own to control what I could do, but Eliza and Jeremiah were best prepared. They would love you as if you were theirs and do what I couldn’t, not because I didn’t want to, but because I… because I had no idea how to help you” his blue eyes were covered by a heavy, sad shadow “I failed you by trying not to fail.”

“And that’s how you’re going to be a father” Kara smiled “you’re going to get it wrong trying to get right, and then you’re going to fail again just as you think you know everything. Clark, when you left me behind it was the exact moment I realized everything was over and that hurt like hell” she confessed, holding back tears “for you it was simpler, you grew up here and your only memories were from this planet. I had to hide who I was, to pretend Krypton never happened, and simply play human when I was sure no one was buying it. You’re accepted because you’re mostly human, I’m not like you, but I’m still your family.”

“Forgive me, Kara” he practically begged.

“I forgive you, Clark” she answered and saw his shoulders relax in relief. “I forgive you because I know we all make mistakes. Who am I not to forgive you when I hurt Lena in the past? It wouldn’t be fair, I’d be a hypocrite of the worst kind” she smiled “Lena taught me we all deserve a second chance and I love you too much to choose to lose another one on the family.”

“You really deserve to be the hero of this world” he affirmed proudly.

“Good thing they have more heroes than just the two of us.”

The conversation went on quiet and collected, both sharing the pain and joy that was to carry the history of an entire culture. Kara was willing to fully forgive Clark and he was more than willing to compensate for the damage he had caused.

 

***

 

The Fifth of May arrived hot and flourished, with its strong orange colors and shades of pink and red composing the arrangement of the greatest and best day of the Danvers-Arias family lives.

The ceremony went exactly as Alex had planned it and nothing went wrong. The neutral towels danced with the breeze coming from the main door, ornamenting with the arrangements that went from the entrance hall to over the table. The guests arrived little by little and easily found the designed seats. The family would be in the front, Eliza would walk Alex down the aisle and Patricia would walk Sam, for her own surprise. Sam didn’t expect her mother to show so much support after their conversation and she thought she’d never see her again because many truths were told and the words hurt them both. Sam found out about her real origin, about how her adoptive mother hid that secret for years, and still had the audacity to kick her out of the house. Alex comforted for days, non-stop, and asked multiple times if she wanted to postpone the party, but Sam said no.

She wasn’t going to mess with her happiness because of someone who didn’t care about her.

The weeks went by, her nieces’ birthday arrived and she could finally see Ruby’s as she signed her school test with her full surname: Danvers Arias. That was worth it and it was what Sam clung to every day until Patricia called her up and asked to talk again. And this time, something had changed and Sam didn’t quite know what to feel regarding her mother’s apology. Sam wasn’t willing to just move on and much less to be fooled again. So she asked for more time to think about it and didn’t get in touch. Alex tried her best not to intrude, she knew how that story would end, she had been through it with Maggie already. Speaking of, Alex didn’t see her around the city again, not that it mattered anymore.

One week after the date set for the wedding, Sam called her mother and decided to give her one last chance. One that she had to use adequately and was aware she was not going to get another. And Patricia began showing up little by little in the family dinners, still awkward and feeling uninvited. Eliza was the first one to break the ice and ease the growing tension whenever Mrs. Arias was there. Lena observed Sam, and so did Alex, but apparently nothing outside of normal was happening. Until the day Sam went out with Ruby and her mother and she asked her to walk her down the while, because she wanted to prove her love and show she had made a terrible mistake, one that would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Sam froze in place and didn’t even answer. She excused herself and went home, crying to sleep in her bride’s arms.

Alex talked about it with Kara and Kara thought it was okay to let her try. And so it was settled.

Amongst the guests, there were some agents from the DEO, Winn and Eve, who had officialized their relationship with a ring, James - who was sick again because Lizzie would not leave him alone - Ramona and Julie, with their funny husbands and all the kids with them. Ruby was going to carry the ring to the altar and Lizzie was chosen as the flower girl, alongside Ezra, who was still the sweetest to his younger friend. Lena was running up and down trying to keep her daughter clean while Kara kept an eye on Ellie, who really wanted to go crawl on the grass. To make sure they were all perfect was the hardest task Lena had ever completed, not even L-Corp with all the meetings and CatCo with all the activities gave her so much work like her girls. And that included Kara and her stupid glasses and hunger who ended up staining her dresses.

Always.

The band began playing and they all got up, anxiously waiting for the brides’ entrances. Lena entered accompanied by Winn, who was the chosen best man and Kara walked with James, the other best man. It was funny to see him with her fingers all patched up and constant sneezing. Lizzie really didn’t hit it with him. Next, Eliza walked Alex, who was dressed in a white pearled dress and her hair was slightly curled, though short. Her brown eyes were fighting against tears but she was smiling like a little kid seeing dreams come true. Which wasn’t far from the truth. After Maggie left, Alex thought about giving up on all that, because it seemed so distant and ridiculous then. However, Sam showed it wasn’t too much to think about a wedding and that fairytales may be a lie, but love was a proven truth.

When she reached the altar, the squire greeted her silently and the next song began. Lizzie walked in dressed in blue and Ezra held her hand, feeling nervous and the urge to run from there. He was wearing pants and a formal shirt, with suspenders, and Julie wanted to scream, proud of her little man. The petals were thrown on the red carpet and the ceremonialist helped both kids get back to their respective mothers. Sam came right behind, the white dress firmly embracing her waist and her hair falling on her shoulders like dominoes. The tulips bouquet matched the party’s palette and she had never looked so emotional. So joyful. Alex looked at her from afar and everything else disappeared for a brief second. At the end of that night, they were going to be really married, forever. Or so she hoped. They would share the same house, same dreams, frustrations, happiness, fears, and plans. It was a new journey.

And it was going to be worth every step next to the woman of her life.

Ruby was the last one to walk in and she was carrying the rings in her hands. Her biggest fun in all that was to get to pick her own dress and taste all the sweets, accompanied by her aunt Kara, of course. The girl had a wide smile and she looked at every guest, then looked at her moms at the end of the carpet. So that was it, she thought to herself, I have a family. One that was only hers and no one could say she was left behind again, because her father was unknown, a man that didn’t care about her existence, but to hell with him too. Alex what the second most important person in her life and she was going to prove everywhere she was worth more than ten fathers in the same room.

And that day was full of happy tears and even happier laughter. Winn got drunk, just like Eve and James. Lena let Lizzie make a mess of herself with the sweets and Ellie was allowed to crawl in the grass. Ramona and Julie pulled her to the dancefloor and showed her once again how sincere and honest that friendship was. The kids had fun with the toys put in a safe area of the saloon, Kara ate too much before dinner and then too much during and after dinner too, competing against her cousin Clark and hearing Lois’s laughter when her boyfriend lost the bet. By the way, Jonathan looked like the cutest thing in the world, wearing little formal clothes with a little fake tie. Near the time to cut the cake, Sam called all the women to throw the bouquet. Kara looked at her girlfriend and Lena refused to go embarrass herself, she didn’t even believe in that. Though she had already said I do to Kara’s proposal.

It was no use and when Eve held the flowers in her hands, James laughed loudly and pushed Winn to the middle of them.

Yeah, it looked like someone was in big trouble.

 

***

 

“Agnes, not there!” Ruby screamed from the pool and Krypto barked with excitement.

July break had arrived heavy and any and every distraction was welcome. So, Kara had invited Clark and Lois to spend a week in their home. Lizzie, Ellie, and Jonathan were distracted on top of the rubber carpet on the balcony. Ellie could now stand up, properly say ‘mama’ and ‘yeyu’, and also ‘yummy’ and ‘Liz’. Lizzie was getting smarter and smarter, able to run without falling and speaking words she didn’t even know the meaning of. Jonathan was still too young and was only beginning to find the world.

The television on the balcony’s gourmet area was on and the three women paid attention to the news broadcasting three aliens fighting together.

“Yeah!” Alex screamed, jumping up the sofa. Lena was on her left side and Lois on the right, the three of them with their feet on the table in front of them “on the right, on your right!”

“Alex, she can’t hear you!” Lois groaned “that’s right, Smallville!” she screamed right next.

“I thought they couldn’t hear?” Lena arched a brow and turned to them.

“Shut up” Lois retorted “El is eating the dog's food again.” she pointed to the blondie

“Ellie!” Lena ran to her and brought her back to the carpet “you can’t eat that, baby.”

“Yummy?” her green little eyes looked at her mother’s.

“No, it’s not yours” Lena replied and handed her pacifier “we’ll lunch soon, okay?”

“Yeyu, mam!” Lizzie stopped in front of the tv and poked the screen “yeyu!”

“Lizzie, you’re in my moment!” Alex carried her niece and sat her on her legs “Ugh! How did he not see that coming?” she was referring to the hard punch Superman had just gotten.

Supergirl was helping Reign and things started to get heated.

“I bet fifty bucks more that Clark can take all three alone” Lois teased the redhead and Alex smirked.

“Deal” she winked.

“We’re already on two hundred and I’m sure Kara can get out of that without the need of those two” Lena defended her fiance, because yes, now they had engagement rings “National City was just fine before those two, we don’t need them.”

“Is someone feeling threatened?” Alex provoked “let’s wait and see.”

Ten minutes later, the three of them watching their respective partners fight somewhere downtown, the answer to the bet was revealed. And it was unbearably frustrating.

“Aha!” Alex yelled and got up to celebrate, Lizzie still in her arms “I told you! Ha! My wife is the hero of this town.”

“Fuck, what is wrong with this Superman?” Lois sighed

“He’s your husband?” Lena turned to her and laughed “the problem isn’t them losing, it’s this” she pointed at Alex performing her victory dance

“Shame my mom isn’t here to protect Kara” Alex laughed “she’s missing so much.”

Suddenly, the sound of three heroes landing in the yard got their attention. The dogs ran to them fast.

“Mom!” Ruby exclaimed and waved at her from the pool “who won?” She asked curiously.

Kara pouted and crossed her arms, Clark was simply trying not to laugh at his cousin.

“Of course it was us” Reign winked at the girl and she cheered.

“I’m putting the money in the kitchen jar” Ruby jumped out of the water and ran to receive the two hundred dollars from Lena and Lois.

“This girl is just like Alex” Lois grumbled, still sore from the loss “that’s not good for her.”

“It’s easier to accept your loss” Lena comforted and smiled “Hey, baby” she kissed the pouting hero, who refused to leave her place “are you really not going to talk to me?”

“It’s not fair that she wins every time!” she complained like a child “when am I going to win?” and the pout got bigger.

“Maybe we should change the bet rules” Kal suggested and looked at the Luthor. She could see in his clear blue eyes what was behind that suggestion.

“You kicked ass!” Alex kissed her wife’s face, who was still Reign, and high-fived her “if you keep going like that we’re reaching over a thousand and fifty hundred dollars in the jar” she winked at Ruby.

“It’s a pleasure to win for you” she nodded and soon her eyes turned brown again.

“I want to propose a new bet,” Lena spoke up “the winner takes all the money.”

“Wow,” Lois smirked, “who is the sore loser again?” Lena rolled her eyes.

“I’m in!” Alex put her hands on her waist and waited for the challenge.

“That’s not a good idea” Clark sighed “but I’m curious to see what is going on inside this head” he pointed at Lena and she smiled because he knew what her idea was.

“An eating competition,” Lena said and her fiance almost levitated in excitement.

“Rao! Yes!” Kara yelled and hugged her tight, hearing her groan from pain a little “what are we eating? Is it now? Is it lunch? Where are we sitting? What are the rules?”

“My God, calm down” Lois snorted “I’m in too.”

“And what are they eating?” Ruby joined in “I bet my mom can win that one too” she walked to Alex and stood in the same position as her.

Like mother, like daughter.

“I took the liberty to buy all the pizzas from your favorite place” she looked at Kara and both could talk only by looks “it’s a hundred and fifty pizzas for each one, the first to finish eating, wine.”

“That’s too easy” Alex looked way too smug “Sam, bring Reign back”

“Okay” and her eyes turned red again.

“Smallville, if you don’t win this one I swear there’s no sex for a month” Lois pointed a finger to his face “I’m going to get Jonathan and bring Lizzie and Ellie here.”

“You’re fucked!” Reign turned to Superman “I’m going to end you.

“We’ll see about that.” he challenged.

Lena set the table and put all the boxes in front of each one. As soon as she counted to three, they began to eat non-stop. But there was a hidden truth on that bet. Lena had only proposed it because she was sure of something, and when she was sure, she won. Lena held Ellie in her arms while Lizzie observed her yeyu devour ten slices of pizza and a time and still smile confidently. And the winner for the bet was revealed as fast as summer rain, Lena knew her fiance well.

And Kara had finished the hundred and fifty pizzas in record time.

Notes:

don't forget to leave kudos and comments and I'll see you when I see you!

Chapter 33: This looks like a happy ending

Notes:

It's coming to an end!

The epilogue will be out tomorrow!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The soft giggles described exactly how Lizzie and Ellie were in that cold but sunny January afternoon: curious. In the phase they were going through, everything was a matter of questioning and confused looks, even when they have explained it all clearer. The world had become more colorful, the foods were more tasteful and the playing was more fun, but nothing that the Luthor-Danvers family couldn’t deal with ease. Three months ago, Ellie had turned two and her party was the biggest mess that ever happened after Lizzie’s two-year-old birthday. Having two girls of such close ages - almost twins, as Kara used to say - was the greatest adventure Lena had ever dared to live, and she had never been happier. She was married to the woman that she loved, she had two extraordinary daughters and L-Corp was finally detached from the strings of her brother’s mistakes

 

Thinking about Lex still made her heart hurt, sometimes it was still hard to wake up and be aware that he was dead. Well, of course, they didn’t talk for years or even saw each other. But Lena still cared. She would always care.

 

Lena looked at her girl jumping up and down and fixed their hairs. Lizzie hated having it tied up, always choosing to let it loose and just wear a tiara, or even a crown. Yes, her blue-eyed girl had entered the infamous phase: the princess phase. Ellie didn’t share the same taste, however, being more of a cartoon girl with talking animals and fun songs, though she was almost the same age as her older sister, she was still a little baby. Besides the cartoon, she was obsessed with pigtails, every time Lena sat down to fix the blonde thin hair, Ellie would always ask for the same hairdo. Of course, Lena wouldn’t even deny that kind of thing to someone who looked at her as a homeless dog and clapped her eyelashes to win her heart. Shit, her daughters had Lena by the hand.

 

Though they were just a mix of her and her wife, Lizzie and Ellie were completely different from one another. Lizzie maintained her dark hair like Lena’s, blue eyes, and a more contained smile. She loved to eat, like any other Zor-El-Danvers, but her taste was a bit more refined, going for vegetables and fruits, even though she had a plate full of it. Sure, she loved candy and pizza too but Lena was already grateful at least one of her girls was similar to her. Lizzie was also the quieter out of the two, she’d play for hours in a row in the living room or draw in her room. She still loved Winnie the Pooh - which Kara adored because she now had an excuse to continue watching it - her favorite sweet was chocolate and her favorite food was the vegetable and chicken pie Lena had learned to cook. Her room was redecorated, Lizzie chose pink, blue, and yellow for the main colors and also helped pick the new furniture and almost screamed of joy when she found out she’d have a bed now.

 

Which didn’t last for long, because she started to escape in the night to go sleep in her mother’s room. Ellie, when she found out about it, began to do the same and the result was Lena and Kara having to share the bed with two fugitives in pajamas.

 

Ellie was the messier, the more energetic, and extroverted. Just like her mother, Kara Luthor-Danvers. It was how Kara liked to be called now: by the name she chose after signing the wedding certificate. Ellie, after learning how to walk and speak, never stopped. She’d run away from shower time, running through the house only in diapers and laughing at her mother’s chasing her, yelling for her to slow down and be careful, or she could get hurt. This wasn’t quite true, because the girl had a skin of steel and impressive strength. Maybe the adult’s real fear was that the girls would break the whole house unintendedly, which had already happened to the television and the living room’s center table. Not that Lena really minded it, she had enough money to replace the destroyed furniture, but her heart would skip a break every time she heard something falling or breaking.

 

Kara had hopes that at least Ellie would be the same as her regarding the taste for food and that came true once Lena tried to put carrots and zucchini into her diet. It was a total disaster and it still was. Ellie would kick up and put on a show on her baby chair, throwing everything on the floor, cry and end up winning by tiring her mother. No one knew how Agnes survived the mess that the house became every day. Lena said the dog spent the most time in the backyard but Ellie wouldn’t leave her alone for over half an hour. But, though the two of them were playful, they loved Agnes wholeheartedly. And no one could say the dog wasn’t taken care of and very spoiled.

 

Every now and then Lizzie would drop her food on the floor for Agnes to eat, and the dog would be already by her side, waiting for it. It didn’t matter how many times Kara repeated for her to not do it, the girl would ignore it and even giggle about it. To be honest, Ellie and Lizzie were a pretty dangerous pair. Going to the supermarket with both of them was prohibited, no argument. The last time they did, Kara spent hours looking for them in every aisle and had to ask the security guard for help. Turns out, the girls were sitting by the dearies and had eaten practically the whole stock of strawberry yogurt. Lena turned at her wife and arched a brow, making Kara turn red in embarrassment. Sure, she knew. That was her favorite flavor of yogurt and it was her fault.

 

Despite the mess, the exhaustion, and the busy routine, everything was fine. Lena continued to work with Sam at L-Corp, developing the projects and still working with her to figure out a way to make Supergirl immune to kryptonite. Even after the blood transfusion, Kara would still turn weak when exposed to the radiation and Eliza volunteered to help her daughters-in-law, going to the biggest company in National City frequently. Kara got the job that used to belong to Snapper, chief reporter of Catco. James had talked to Lena about it and she promptly agreed, organizing a party to celebrate the promotion. About their schedule, it was still complicated, because both Kara and Lena refused to hire a babysitter. It was too dangerous, especially because the girls weren’t normal

 

Most of their powers still hadn’t manifested. They were both strong, like Kara, and also had a skin of steel, but the rest was taking long to show; and neither of them was complaining about it, of course. However, they didn’t want a stranger to be the first to see it or get frightened when Lizzie accidentally broke a spoon in her hands or Ellie created an alternate reality with giant bears and chocolate milk waterfalls. No, it would be too much to handle and to explain and so they preferred to continue to share tasks, even if it usually led to arguments and unexpected events. Many times they ended up having to take them to work and only generated more of a mess because Ellie and Lizzie would not stay still. The solution was to create a playing room, with pillows, blankets, and a tv, both at L-Corp and CatCo.

 

The funniest thing was to see the kryptonian divide herself between keeping an eye on her daughters, being a reporter, and being a hero. Good thing she never lacked energy.

 

No matter how exhausting it was, the Luthor-Danvers family was doing their best to keep the two girls safe and happy. At the end of the day, Lena left the work aside, even though there was so much to do, read and sign, she would go home and find Kara lying inside a pillow fort with her daughters. She could see the four little dirty feet, the messy hair, the sweaty skin, probably from running after Agnes for hours. And so Lena would lie with them, leaving her high heels by the door, where her wife’s shoes would already be, two very colorful pairs of sneakers and hers. And it would always warm Lena’s heart incredibly rapturously, because she never thought her life would end up like that, with three special people laughing while watching cartoons. Of course, Kara was enjoying The Little Mermaid too.

 

After dinner, when Lena and Lizzie would eat tasteful veggies together and Kara and Ellie would ravish too much pasta, the girls would go up with her mothers for the shower, take a shower, brush their teeth, and put on their pajamas, then running to their moms’ bed, even though they knew they would be carried to their respective beds for the bedtime stories. As soon as they were over, the lights were turned off and the two adults would enjoy the silence and peace to stay together, to talk about their days and lose themselves in kisses that always ended up in sex on the couch, or even on the shower. Even as mothers and workers, they still continued that innocence and friendship they had always shared. Movie nights were on Thursdays, Lena would drive the babies to their grandma’s house - who had moved out after Kara had fully recovered - and would drop them to stay the night, picking them up first thing in the morning. They knew they needed alone time, but also time with their friends.

 

So, Kara took Sunday mornings to spend with Alex, having breakfast together and going out to breathe some fresh air. While Lena would go visit Sam and let Ruby play with Lizzie and Ellie, which wasn’t so frequent anymore now that the older girl was about to graduate High School. Ruby had become an extraordinary girl. Smart, tender, extremely empathetic, and brave. She stopped being that lonely girl, who was scared of making friends and would always get in trouble with some boy. Well, that was until the day she shared that she had kissed a boy from her class, one that had confessed his fondness for her as more than a friend. Sam had never seen her daughter so embarrassed, nervous, and happy, a mix of feelings that made Alex laugh a lot, and regret it afterward of course. Because her daughter ran to her room and didn’t want to leave later.

 

The kiss subject was dropped soon and Ruby started developing feelings for the boy too, whose name was Colin, and had the cutest freckles Alex had ever seen. But that didn’t make her accept her girl’s future boyfriend so soon and it took almost two months, after the kiss, for him to have the courage to visit the Danvers-Arias house. Sam tried to water the situation, even saying that her wife wasn’t as angry as she seemed, but Alex would look at him as if he was about to challenge her for a fight, which made things funny, to say the least. By the end, Alex found out Colin was into shooting games and cop things, which resulted in an excited agent sharing her love for those things. Ruby was relieved to find her mother and boyfriend in the living room, playing video games together and yelling at the tv The only bad thing was that Colin learned so many new swearwords, Sam had to interfere before the boy’s mother complained.

 

Alex was threatened to be grounded if she continued to teach her daughter’s first boyfriend bad words.

 

The relationship went on strong throughout the whole year, both meeting at school, in their homes, or even at eventual ice cream shop dates. It was pretty to see something as simple and intense and first love flourishing and without that need to rush things. It was when Colin asked permission from Alex and Sam to take Ruby on a different kind of date because he needed to tell her something. Needless to say, they were very worried and a bit hesitant, deep down, they could feel something was wrong. But, they allowed the girl to go, saying they would take her to it and pick her at the agreed spot, which was a cafeteria downtown with a karaoke inside. When Ruby came back home, Sam noticed her sad and disappointed look. Colin had broken up with her, not because he didn’t like her anymore, but because his father had been transferred to another state and they would have to leave. Still, the kid made sure the night was great and that both had fun and enjoyed every moment.

 

Still, the feeling of heartbreak when experienced for the first time hurt too much and Ruby didn’t know how to deal with it.

 

 

 

**

 

 

“Remember what mommy said today in the car?” Lena kneeled down and fixed Lizzie’s princess dress. She had picked it as soon as she had woken up and chose a colorful pantyhose to go with it.

 

 

“Shhh” Ellie placed a finger over her mouth and laughed.

 

“El, shh” Lizzie repeated the motion at her sister “no noise, no, shhh.”

 

“That’s right,” Lena smiled proudly. “Auntie Alex just had a little baby and we have to be very quiet, okay?”

 

“Yeah!” they answered, “and yeyu?” Liz questioned.

 

“Your yeyu is arriving later, okay?” She helped Ellie put on the cat-eared tiara “hold my hand.”

 

One year ago, Alex and Sam decided to have a baby. The idea came up when Alex confessed her desire to get pregnant, to feel every phase of a baby growing inside herself. Sam took her time to think about it, not because she didn’t like the idea of being a mother again, but because she knew of the consequences and the huge responsibility that it was. It wasn’t easy to take care of a child when in a routine like theirs. Ruby was almost a woman now and so it was easier, she could take care of herself, she’d spend the afternoons at school with her friends and the weekends with Colin. After him, the girl started to take surf lessons on the beach north of the city and so her Saturdays and Sundays were spent with her new friends. Sure, Ruby stayed at home too, she helped her mothers with lunch and dinner and also went out shooting with Alex.

 

However, a newborn baby would demand time and energy. Alex was still the DEO agent responsible for new teams' training and would lead most missions. And those activities usually took most of her day. Whilst Sam was Lena’s right-hand woman at L-Corp, participating in meetings, work trips and filling her schedule with unpostponable appointments. To shorten it, neither of them had time for another child, if they were to be completely honest. It was in that line of thought that they talked, discussed, balanced all the pros and cons, and put all the responsibilities on the table. Alex refused to give up and a part of her was still scared Sam would say no, saying it was impossible. But, one afternoon, Sam showed up as Reign at the DEO and said she needed to talk to the agent, leaving J’onn overly concerned.

 

On that day, the kryptonian took her wife out to dinner at her favorite restaurant, then they went for a walk in the park and then were reminded of their first date. The sudden memory of the night they shared their first kiss brought a smile to their faces and a warm feeling to their hearts. Sam then told her she had bought her a gift and Alex found it weird because it wasn’t her birthday nor their anniversary. A little box wrapped in gold paper was handed from one to another and Sam, too anxious to wait a couple of minutes, asked Alex to open it quickly. As Alex finished tearing the paper, her eyes immediately teared up and she couldn’t believe it.

 

Inside the box, a pair of tiny baby shoes, and Sam assured her she would love to join that new adventure with the woman she loved the most in the world.

 

And it didn’t stop there. Later, when Alex sat down to catch Lena up with the news, the Luthor said she already knew and was more than willing to make that news even better. So, Alex was submitted through a bunch of exams at the DEO, just like Sam, and with two months of intense work and effort. Lena was finally able to copy the work Lilian had created when making Ellie, using her notes and projects left inside the vault. It was how Suzie came to life, being the biological daughter of both her mothers. The only fear regarding that subject now was how Ruby would feel when she found out that she would have a sister that would both be a part of Alex and Sam. The truth was the girl was overly happy and excited and couldn’t care less if the baby was or wasn’t their biological daughter.

 

“Hey, girls” Alex, who was lying on the bed, holding a little body in her arms, smiled to her nieces “get up here” she hit the mattress.

 

“Take your shoes off first,” Lena said and they sat on the floor to tear the shoes out.

 

Lizzie and Ellie crawled on the bed and stopped as soon as they saw the sleeping baby on their aunt’s arm. Curiosity was shining in their eyes, making it clear they had millions of questions about it. It was the first time they saw a newborn, until then, everyone around them was either adult or little like them. But Suzie was so tiny she looked like a doll and Lena feared her daughters would think she was fake. So, Lena kept an eye on them and walked up to the bed, kissing Alex’s head and smiling at the sight of her youngest niece. Alex, though looking exhausted after the c-section, had never looked so beautiful. Being a mother matched her so much as if it was her mission in this world.

 

And Lena was sure of it when she saw her brown eyes studying intensely the newest family member’s face.

 

“Look, mama” Lizzie whispered “the baby!”

 

“The nose and the mouth” Ellie pointed at both “El’s nose and the mouth!” she pointed at her own face

 

Alex laughed and kissed both, letting them come closer.

 

“Do you want to give her a kiss?” she asked and both turned at their mother.

 

“One at a time and slowly, Suzie is still little” Lena explained and assisted both in the motion “she how she likes you two?”

 

“She… she likes Iz?” Lizzie questioned, still unable to say her name properly “she speaks, mama?”

 

“Not yet, baby” Alex answered and laid her daughter on her legs, observing the way she stretched out and yawned.

 

“She’s sle-sleeping, mama” Eli pointed at her cousin and lied on her side, pretending to be asleep too “El is going to sleep too,” she said with her eyes closed.

 

“Iz too!” Lizzie got excited and then both were lying to each on one side, pretending to be asleep.

 

Lena smiled at Alex and sighed. When did life become so wholesome?

 

“How are you feeling?” Alex simply sighed as an answer “I know how it is” they laughed “it will only get worse if you want to know.”

 

“Thank you, Lutessa, it was everything I needed to know for a good night's sleep” she ironized “Lucky for her, she has a wonderful godmother who is willing to share the job.”

 

“Should I warn you her godmother has two two-year-old kryptonians?” Lena arched a brow,

 

“Are you talking about these two angels?” she pointed at the girls and the girls laughed loudly as they felt Alex’s cold fingers on their bellies “they’re no trouble, you’re just dramatic.”

 

“Hm, I’ll write that down” Lena joked and Alex showed her the tongue “everything you say can and will be used against you in the future.”

 

“F-u-c-k you” she spelled out, after all, the last time Alex cursed in front of her nieces, besides getting a lecture from her sister, Lizzie kept repeating the word for days and ended up grounded “carry you goddaughter and do your part” she handed the baby to Lena and got up “Sam went to the bakery get us some food and Kara will be here around…”

 

The thud on the front yard made both Lizzie and Ellie raise their heads and turn to the window. In a matter of seconds, they slid off the bed and ran through the hallway, screaming for their yeyu that had finally arrived.

 

“Were they running with their socks on?” Alex frowned and looked at Lena rocking Suzie.

 

“Alex, after a while you give up and just accept things” she sighed “it saves you the energy from repeating the same thing every time.”

 

“Hey, how's my niece, hm?” Supergirl showed up with two girls in her arms, laughing and trying to pull her cape off “hey, Seedy, not the cape!” 

 

“They’re more like pepper than seeds, Kara” Alex pointed out and Lena laughed, nodding.

 

“Don’t talk like that about my daughters!” she pouted and smiled “good thing I’m not here to see you” she passed by her sister and stood up next to her wife, smiling at the scene of her carrying little Suzie “You look so pretty carrying one of those” Kara commented, still balancing her girls in each arm.

 

“No, no, and no” Lena answered dryly and Alex snorted “don’t even start, Kara!”

 

“Hey, baby, I’m home!” Sam made herself known in the hallway “I’m going to set the table!”

 

“Okay!” Alex replied, “I’m going to take a quick shower, can you keep an eye on her for a few minutes?”

 

“Sure” Lena nodded “why don’t you two go help aunt Sam set the things in the kitchen, hm?” She turned to her daughter.

 

“Cookie?” Ellie opened a sly smile “Iz, cookie!” she raised her arms and her sister cheered along.

 

Supergirl put them on the ground and they disappeared through the hall again.

 

Now alone, Kara took her time to kiss her wife and hug her, staying there quiet and together, enjoying the moment. Suzie stretched out again, yawning and slowly opening her eyes. Even though it wasn’t so long ago, both Kara and Lena felt it was a distant past, in a reality far, far away. They still remembered the first days with Lizzie at home, the sleepless nights, the cramps, and all the trouble that was having a human being so dependent on everything. Then Ellie came, the most amazing surprise ever. And all the mess started again, but now doubled.

 

And now their girls had grown, they were still dependent, but much less. Lizzie and Ellie didn’t breastfeed anymore, they knew how to drink from bottles and eat on their own. They were in the process of learning how to go to the bathroom, though most times it ended in an accident, like wetting the living room carpet, or the bed. Ellie was having a hard time letting go of her pacifier, crying to at least sleep with it, but Lizzie took the change well and won a doll in return. Lena let the youngster continue with it, after all, it wasn’t worth the headache and at some point, Ellie would let go of old habits alone, there was no reason to rush. Kara loved the well her wife dealt with every situation, the patient she had to explain and teach things to the girls. Everything Kaar knew about motherhood, she learned with Lena.

 

And that made her think of the past, of how long Lena took to accept the mission given to her. Those were hard months, complex times.

 

“I love you, you know?” Kara whispered, letting Suzie grab her finger “even though you don’t want another baby like this” she joked.

 

“I already have three babies at home” Lena smiled and Kara followed cue “this one we can enjoy and just give back later.”

 

“Sounds great to me” Kara caressed the girl’s dark hair and heard her girls scream excitedly in the kitchen, along with Ruby’s loud laugh and Sam’s request for them to stop running around the table “but I still think another Luthor-Danvers would be a great idea” she teased. Lena arched a brow and turned to her “uh… I’m kidding” she pouted.

 

“I love you so much, despite the mess you made of my entire life, Kara Danvers” she closed the gap and smiled on her lips.

 

“Luthor Danvers” Kara corrected and kissed her again.

 

“Hey! Let’s stop this shamelessness around my daughter” Sam appeared by the door and rescued poor Suzie “baby, mommy is here to save you” she kissed her head.

 

“Yeyu! Cookie” Lizzie entered the bedroom and showed her all five cookies in her hand.

 

“Hum, I think I’m going to eat all your cookies!” Kara threatened with a deeper voice and the girl ran back, laughing “I’m going to get you!”

 

Lena rolled her eyes at the sight of her wife, still dressed as Supergirl, chasing after the two girls protecting the cookie sack. Alex finished the shower soon and they all went to eat, enjoying the marvelous afternoon ahead of them. Ruby was sitting with Lizzie and Ellie on the floor, the living room’s center table had become a small picnic. Krypto was attentive the whole time, waiting for any food to fall on the ground so he could eat it. Laughter filled the house, Eliza arrived later to see all her granddaughters, but especially the newborn. Life could be complicated, but none of them would trade their family for anything in the world.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“Mama, hungry” Ellie murmured sleepy, almost closing her eyes. But Lena just continued to lie down beside her, whispering a melody “mama…”

 

 

“Shh,” she caressed the blonde hair, stroking behind her ears and then circling the back of her neck.

 

At the same time, Kara was lying with Lizzie, holding her tight and waiting for her to sleep too. Ever since they had turned two and her mothers decided to redecorate the bedrooms, Lizzie insisted on having her sister sleep in the same bedroom as for them to have the same beds. Of course, they didn’t say no, finding their relationship interesting and loving the way the oldest simply adored the company of her younger sister. Though they had separate rooms before, Lena accepted her daughter’s request and they began to sleep together. The other room turned out to be somewhat of a toy room, with one of the walls being a headboard, since Ellie had begun to draw on the living room’s walls.

 

Which ended up with a lot of groundings, of course. The only problem was that Kara would always surrender to the girl’s pout and would rescue her from the punishment.

 

When Lena found out about her wife’s actions, she put both of them sitting down in the living room with nothing to do but wait until the grounding was over. So, at the end of the day, there were two pouting blondes.

 

“Yeyu, where's giraffe?” her weak and tired voice echoed “the giraffe, yeyu. Where?”

 

“Here, is’kah” Kara whispered, taking another teddy bear and putting it on her daughter’s hand “now close your eyes, yeyu is here, okay?”

 

“‘kay.”

 

In a matter of minutes, the girls fell asleep and Kara could leave with her wife to the hall, leaving the pink light on the abatjour turned on in the bedroom. They smiled at each other and intertwined their hands, walking back to the living room to finish watching an episode of American Crime Story, one of their favorite ways to spend time. As they walked up again, Lena took a quick shower and lied down, tired, thinking of the meeting early in the morning at L-Corp tomorrow. Supergirl was also busy at the DEO, with multiple attacks coming up at various parts of the city, with no concrete link between them. Also, Kara had a new apprentice at CatCo, sent by none other than Catherine Grant herself. Her name was Nia Nal and the girl looked a lot like Kara when she first came to CatCo.

 

“I missed you today” Kara murmured in her lips, tracing her hands up and down underneath her shirt “I missed you, so, so much…”

 

“But I’m right here” Lena teased, and felt her reach her bare chest, whimpering at the feeling of her warm hands in her cold skin “K-Kara…”

 

Soon their positions changed and Kara got on top, placing her knee between Lena’s thighs. Lena panted, hot by the friction in her cunt, grinding on it to relieve some of her desire. Without hesitation, she pulled Kara’s shirt up, leaving her torso naked. She trailed every exposed part of skin with the tip of her fingers, going up and down slowly, but so thirsty she could explode. Kara moaned as her chest was pressed and her nipples turned hard. She took her time to trail her lips down her neck, slightly biting the pale skin, knowing it would leave a mark and that her wife would have to wear twice more makeup the next day. As revenge, Lena would turn on the red lights and do the same to her later.

 

But they didn’t have much time now, making love wasn’t just an act of pleasure anymore, but of immediate relief, especially on nights like that. They couldn’t sleep too late, otherwise, they’d be tired the next day. So every second counted.

 

“Raise your arms a little” Kara whispered and then pulled her shirt up “I missed you so much,” she said while sucking on her nipples, making Lena laugh.

 

“You’re so silly” her whole body shivered “and I love you for it.”

 

“Hmm, I know” she continued her motion, lowering one of her hands down to her pants “Rao, Lena…” she sighed “you’re so beautiful…”

 

“Kara… please” she whimpered out, biting her lips to not make a sound.

 

When Lena was finally about to have what she wanted, the door slapped the wall and continuous crying flooded the room, getting her by surprise. Kara used her superspeed to get dressed and distract Lizzie, while Lena put her shirt back on.

 

“Ye-yeyu…” she sobbed and held the teddy bear in her arms tighter “the… the m-monster…”

 

Suddenly, a breathless blondie showed up right behind her, bawling her eyes out too.

 

“Mama!” Ellie ran to the bed and raised her arms, asking for a cuddle “sc-scared…” she sobbed with the pacifier on her mouth “up, mama!”

 

“Let’s go see what happened” Kara carried the girl up and Lena did the same.

 

The four of them went back to the room and there was nothing different, absolutely nothing. The toys were in the same place, just like the drawing desk, the coloring pencils, the books, and the little pots with play dough. Kara checked the room up and down, looking for any sign of danger, but the only moving thing was Agnes, sleeping on her little bed on the corner and apparently having some kind of weird dream since her tail was moving funnily. Lena made her way to the window and closed it, so the curtains would stop moving and sighed, tired, not knowing what to do. Everything was silent, the neighborhood barely had any movement at that time and Lena always made sure the colorful light from the two abatjours were always on because the girls sometimes complained of scary sounds coming from the beach.

 

“It’s just Agnes, is’kah” Kara reassured, pointing at the dog, who slightly raised her head and opened her eyes.

 

“Not again, yeyu” she whimpered “the monster there” Lizzie pointed at the closet.

 

“I’ll open it” Lena replied and stepped towards the closet, but Ellie hid her face in her neck and began to cry harder.

 

“No, no, no, mama!” she tightened her little arms around her shoulder “the monster no!”

 

“Hey, baby, calm down. It’s okay” Lena whispered tenderly, caressing her back and kissing her forehead “mommy is here with you, so is yeyu. Nothing is going to hurt you.”

 

“Hold Lizzie” Kara handed her daughter to Lena and she balanced each on one arm “you stay by the door and I’ll open the closet” she nodded “if there’s any monster here, Supergirl is going to get it, okay?” The girls smiled and agreed.

 

“Yeyu hit the monster!” Lizzie exclaimed.

 

“Pow!” Ellie mimicked Supergirl, punching the air.

 

“We’re brave like Supergirl, right?” Lena looked at her daughters and they nodded “so we’re going to face the monster together?”

 

“Yes!” They answered excitedly.

 

Kara winked at them and exhaled. She opened the closet door slowly and…

 

There was nothing there. The clothes were folded, the dresses properly placed on the hangers, the shoes organized in the drawers, just like the hair accessories. Kara sighed in relief, even though she knew there was no monster hiding in the closet, with a life like hers, everything could be a sign of danger. Lilian and Lex might be dead, but there were still plenty of people who could hurt their family. So Kara asked Lena to step closer again and bring the girls, who soon hid their faces in their mother’s hair and went back to whimper, frightened. Kara took Lizzie again and put her on the ground, staying right behind her. Lena did the same with Ellie and waited to see what Kara’s intention was.

 

“Is’kah, open your arms” the girl shook her head, saying no “hey, do you trust yeyu?”

 

“Y-yes, but the monster is scary” Lizzie answered with her lips trembling.

 

“Baby, you have to trust us and open your eyes, can you do that?” Lena touched her arms lightly and she sighed “Ellie, can you help your sister?”

 

“The monster, mama,” Ellie repeated but agreed.

 

“Yeyu isn’t going to let the monster get you” she reassured and then both opened their eye, finding nothing more than clothes “Lizzie what do you see?”

 

“Hm, dress, butterfly shirt and… shoe!” she pointed at them.

 

“What about you, El?”

 

“Shirt and… hm, dress!” she smiled.

 

“Is there any monster in the closet?” Lena questioned and both shook their heads “you know why?”

 

“No, mama,” Lizzie answered.

 

“Because the monster is scared of brave girls like you” she explained tenderly “Supergirl told it how strong you two were and would tickle him until it ran away” they laughed and Kara smiled, in love. How could she be so lucky?

 

“And now it’s gone, because me, you, and your mom are really brave together.” Kara pointed out.

 

“El isn’t scared, yeyu!” she said, menacing “Iz isn’t too!”

 

“Exactly, not now it’s time for the super girls to go to bed” Lena carried the youngest up “including Supergirl” she winked at her wife.

 

“How about the superfamily sleeping together?” Kara suggested and Lena felt her heart backflip. The feeling of having their daughter in between them was their greatest one in the world.

 

“I think it’s a great idea,” Lena agreed.

 

The four of them went back to the room and got under the blanket, Lizzie laughing as she felt Ellie’s feet tickle hers. Before falling asleep, Lena looked for Kara’s hand amid bodies and intertwined their fingers. They had come such a long way together, fought, overcome their pains and past, managed to stay together with their daughters. And nothing in the world mattered more to Lena besides those three people. And she knew she wouldn’t have made it without her, Kara Danvers.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

L-Corp was having young adults from the whole world over for an international science and engineering fair. Sam and Lena spent months organizing, hiring the best scientists, engineers, and orators, spreading the idea in universities and schools from every continent, and trying to make this event one of the best and greatest in the year. The goal was to make it fixed, able to be received in other states, and also other countries if other companies were interested. Some sent emails, asking to know how they could host the fair the next year, Jess spent the whole week busy answering all of them, therefore making sure the well-executed project had a bright future ahead of it. So, every floor was ready to have the visitors over, each sector with its own schedule.

 

Though it was overly refreshing to see so many students impressed with the labs, astonished by what they could accomplish when they went to college or got a master’s and doctor’s degree, this whole situation stole Lena’s time entirely. Besides spreading the word, Lena made sure some hapless places also got the necessary sponsor and students could also join in prize draws to get tickets. And that made Lena completely busy in those months. Kara had to unfold and redo herself to balance taking care of the girls, work, and saving the city. Thank Rao, Eliza was there to help when she could, but she was also a part of L-Corp and her projects were going to be presented in one of the talks. Sam, to help her sister-in-law, shared the burden of the hero using Reign. So, they took turns, and no one would be absent at home, now that Suzie had turned five and Ruby was in college.

 

Alex was now in the position lastly occupied by J’onn, becoming the DEO’s director, and with the title, came immense and complicated responsibilities. However, J’onn offered himself to take care of the girls, which resulted in hilarious comments on how he was a grandma bear and overly attentions, who had retired to take care of his grandkids. It was kind of true, to be honest. Lizzie and Ellie were already in school and, since they had been born in the same year, they shared classes and that helped a lot in the adapting process because Lizzie had some hard moments to deal with because her power became uncontrollable when she turned four years old. Unlike her younger sister, who was able to control her reality escaping and through manipulation, Lizzie couldn’t touch anyone without making that person sick. It was like she had both inside of her, the power of cure and also the power of sickening anyone around her. Despair took over her mothers and they didn’t know how to deal with it.

 

J’onn then took control of the situation and helped his granddaughter take hold of her emotions, her feelings. The truth was that Lizzie was scared, precisely because she knew she had powers. Little by little, they began to show, both for her and Ellie. The heat vision, the cold breath, the ability to fly, and the super speed. Also, both had more powers than Supergirl. After a while, the girl finally learned how to contain every confusing feeling inside herself and could finally live amongst other children, but until then, Lena had to change schools constantly, because she didn’t want to leave any traces of their powers. The new teacher was what calmed Kara down because both Julie and Ramona assured her she was a great woman, loving, competent, and fair. Grace was in the same class as the sister and her older brother, Ezra, was in a couple of grades further, and so were Theo and Thomas, who shared classes too.

 

“Jess, please, clear my schedule for next Thursday after five,” Lena asked as soon as the secretary finished gathering the papers on the table “I can’t stay late, Lizzie and Ellie have a Mother’s Day recital and the ballet presentation.”

 

“As you wish, Mrs. Danvers” she smiled “I got a call from the school, should I call your wife?”

 

“What?” she arched a brow “when?” At what time?”

 

“About ten minutes ago, they asked for one of you, or both, to be at the director’s office” Jess explained and Lena got up fast “Apparently Lizzie had gotten into some sort of trouble.”

 

“Clear my schedule today and transfer all the calls to you” she ordered while grabbing her purse “call James and ask him to tell this to Kara and that I’ll go pick her up in fifteen.”

 

“Yes, ma’am” Jess nodded and ran out, reaching for the phone. She pitied whoever was going to deal with Lena at the school.

 

During the whole way, Kara heard her wife grumble and say she was going to end whoever had hurt her daughter. She didn’t understand why that was happening, it didn’t make any sense, because Lizzie had always been so easy as a child, charming, tender, and helpful. Whatever had happened, Lena knew there had to be a great and plausible explanation.

 

“Mrs. Danvers, please, sit down” the director pointed at the chair “you too, ma’am” she turned to Kara. They sighed and took their seats.

 

Lizzie was by the window, with Ellie holding her hand and trying to calm her down. Her face was reddened, her nose sniffling and her little body shaking from the adrenaline.

 

“I believe there must be an explanation for why we’ve been told Lizzie got into trouble” Lena looked at her daughter and noticed she was crying.

 

And that broke her heart.

 

“I believe that too. I got a complaint from of the third-grade teachers about a fight in the yard during the break when I arrived there, your daughter was angry and had just hit one of the boys” the director explained seriously, not showing any emotion “you know we do not tolerate any form of violence and of course, we called her here to know why she had chosen aggression.”

 

“So?” Kara frowned “what happened?”

 

“She didn’t want to say” they turned at the girl and she looked away, lowering her head and letting the tears fall freely. Kara could hear Ellie whisper some words in Kryptonian, trying to show her everything was going to be okay. “I tried to convince her to talk, but it was unsuccessful. Lizzie remained silent.”

 

“Well, what about the boy?” Lena questioned “Was he hurt? Or said anything?”

 

“He had a small cut on his eyebrow, I hadn’t had time to talk to him yet because his parents picked him up to take to the E.R.'' she replied “he’ll come to my office tomorrow, and so will his responsible adults. But if Lizzie doesn’t say what happened from her side, I can’t act fairly here.”

 

“I’m so sorry about this,” Kara sighed. “we’re going to talk about it at home with her and will bring the news tomorrow. If the parents want to talk to us, we’ll leave out cards here.”

 

“This will not be repeated” Lena affirmed and her voice was firm, leaving Lizzie terrified about what was to come “I apologize for her unacceptable behavior but I need to know exactly what happened so I can deal with it properly. If the boy did something somewhat deserving of it, actions will be taken. I know my daughter, she is not aggressive nor emotional. Something happened and I’m going to figure it out.”

 

“I’ll be waiting for you two tomorrow, for now, the girls are free to go home” the directors greeted them before leaving and so Kara picked the backpacks up, staying quiet during the way back home.

 

Ellie continued to whisper things to her sister and hold her hand. Lizzie had leaned on her shoulders, sobbing quietly and nodding to everything she was being said. Though Lena and Kara knew they were going to have a serious conversation at home, to see their daughters be one another’s emotional support made them calmer. When Lena was little, Lex used to be the same for her, spending sleepless nights with her when she had a nightmare or needed to study for an important test. Sibling love was always able to break down any barrier, was what Lena believed, though it wasn’t quite applicable in her life. Kara was the greatest example of it because she and Alex were an invincible, unbreakable team. They could die for each other, without thinking twice. So, when Lena looked at the girls, her heart sank in her chest, because she knew she wasn’t able to protect them forever.

 

“Lizzie and Ellie put your bags in the room and go shower, I’ll make dinner and then we’ll talk” the girls nodded and went up the stairs. Kara took a deep breath and just tried to follow her wife’s rhythm.

 

They cooked together like they always did when they arrived at the same time from work, set the table, and called Agnes into the house. The atmosphere was filled with tension and the feeling it was about to go off wasn’t helpful at all. During those eight years together, they had learned that, sometimes, it’s best to preserve the silence, to wait for the dust to settle, and take a deep breath. Lena wasn’t mad, or angry, she was disappointed. Lizzie had never been a violent girl and Lena feared she had missed some sign, something that showed that her daughter wasn’t well. The disappointment was at herself because she blamed herself every day for being more and more absent the last months. Kara then heard her tears fall and all she could do was hold her, if there was something Lena hated was failing on someone she loved.

 

“Hey, my love, don’t cry” she whispered, “they’re okay, that’s what matters.”

 

“How do you know that?” Lizzie never hit anyone” Lena hid her face and embraced her back “I should have been more present, I should have realized something was wrong. It’s my fault, Kara…”

 

“Don’t say that, please?” Kara stepped back slightly to look at her. Her green eyes were crystal clear, almost transparent “you were busy, Lizzie and Ellie knew that and we did our best to take care of them. You did your best. Lena, how many times were you exhausted but still lied with them to tell a bedtime story?” Kara reminded gently “you never missed an event at school, you always check their homework and prepare their uniform for the next day” she kissed her forehead and smiled “you didn’t fail, my love.”

 

“I feel so guilty to see them suffering, did you see how Ellie was the whole time?” Lena sighed. It was awful to not know what to do.

 

And that was pretty much what being a mother was: to never know what to do but still keep going. Still keep trying.

 

“Ellie and Lizzie are best friends, they love and protect each other” Kara replied, “and we’re going to figure out what happened together.”

 

“God, what would I do without you?” Lena laughed, a bit calmer.

 

“You probably would have dived into an article and drank half a bottle of Scotch” she teased and Lena let out a fake gasp.

 

“Can you hear that?” Lena asked and Kara frowned, confused “the sound of divorce” she joked.

 

“You wouldn’t dare!” Kara placed her hands on her hips and pouted. Lena laughed again and stepped closer to kiss her.

 

“I’m a Luthor” she whispered, watching her skin shiver.

 

“Luthor-Danvers, darling” Kara shot back. But before they could continue, agitated steps echoed on the house and Agnes barked excitedly. The girls greeted the dog and ran to the dinner table.

 

“Did you put away your bags and put the towel back in the bathroom?” Lena questioned while placing the food on the table.

 

“Yes, mama,” they answered quickly.

 

“Great, I’m going to serve you and Ellie, darling, you’re having at least two types of vegetables, no arguments,” Lena said and the girl didn’t even pout. She knew very well it was not the time to fight with her mom.

 

“You don’t need to punish El, I was the one who hit the boy” Lizzie murmured and sighed, moving the green beans on her plate.

 

“This is punishment, is’kah” Kara made a lot of effort to say it, truly a lot. Because it was punishment for her, one of the worst “your mom only wants what’s best for you, okay?”

 

“And since you brought it up, can you tell me what happened?” Lena arched a brow and waited, though she knew her daughter was as stubborn as she used to be. Truth was that Lizzie had the same way as her, the same way of hiding her feelings and pretending it never happened. “You know I can’t help you if you don’t tell me the truth. I’m not here against you, Liz, I’m here to protect you.”

 

“Tell mommy, Liz?” Ellie whispered to her sister “she’s smarter and can fix everything” Kara smirked as she heard that.

 

“Uh…” Lizzie sighed nervously “there's this boy at school and… he keeps messing with the younger kids, actually…” She began to push the beans with the fork and Lena could see her irritation and nervousness pent up “he likes to take El’s money during lunchtime, he keeps saying how weird she is because she likes to play alone, but it’s not true!” she exclaimed “I can see what she creates and then he goes there only to make her upset” she sighed “I got angry and went to ask him to stop, then he pushed me and I fell, and everyone started to laugh at me, so I… I hit him…”

 

“It was my fault, mama” Ellie murmured “I should have asked him to stop…”

 

Kara looked at her wife and they both sighed. Of course, Lena knew there was something more, and in her heart, she felt that she hadn't failed there at least, she was right about her daughter now being an aggressive person. Lizzie was just pushed to her limits and then she reacted, as any kid in her shoes would. However, the girl had to understand that violence wouldn’t fix anything, especially at school. Both Lizzie and Ellie were aware that Kara was Supergirl, but they weren’t allowed to see any fights on the tv or be there lively. That was the rule because they didn’t want their daughters to grow up thinking fighting was always the solution. Many times they had to go over why Supergirl was fighting and what that meant.

 

“Lizzie, you know what I think about violence, right?” Lena asked and the girl nodded “you can’t think you’re going to fix your problems like that. And it can be dangerous, you could have hurt that boy a lot more, can you understand that?” She nodded again but the tears resurfaced.

 

“He pissed me off, mom!” she claimed angrily “he didn’t… h-he wouldn’t stop saying mean things about Ellie!”

 

“Honey, breathe” Lena slightly touched her hand “I get that you got angry, okay?”

 

“No! You never get anything! You never even let us use our powers like yeyu!” She raised her voice and left the table, running to her room upstairs. Ellie looked at her mothers and then went after her sister.

 

But she turned around quickly to get the fries from her plate and then went back up again.

 

Lena leaned on the chair and closed her eyes. She understood her daughter’s frustrations, but she also wanted them to comprehend the grandiosity and the danger that their powers represented. The more they grew, the more complicated it got. Alex and Sam seemed to deal with it so well since little Suzie also began to develop her first ‘symptoms’ at two years old. Many times Lena talked to Alex about it, about how to make a child see that some rules are just made to protect them, and not to oppress and prohibit them. Alex would always say Lizzie was just as stubborn as her, always standing her ground, questioning, arguing, and not accepting she was wrong. And it was true, the girl was always the exact copy of her humor and personality. Ellie ended up more similar to Kara, calmer, funnier, and more accepting - only when the subject didn’t involve food, of course.

 

“Maybe we should let them overflow their powers somehow, maybe Alex…”

 

“No, Kara,” Lena answered flatly “I can’t allow two eight-year-olds to begin going to a place as dangerous as the DEO, do you have any idea what you’re asking?”

 

“Yes, I do,” Kara kept calm “but you’re being as stubborn as Lizzie right now?”

 

“What do you mean?” she sighed and then Kara guided her out of the chair and headed to the couch.

 

They lied there and Lena leaned her head over her chest and embraced her waist.

 

“Lena, having these powers isn’t easy and they didn’t choose to be this way” Kaar explained “can you imagine what it is like never running at school because you might lose control? Or touching someone and breaking their bones? Or even in Lizzie’s situation, getting someone you didn’t mean to, sick” Kara raised Lena’s face so she could see her and kiss her nose gently “we know she has trouble making friends, she’s skittish, lonely, and can’t socialize properly. Because she’s scared.”

 

“I don’t know what to do, Kara, I really don’t” she confessed “I just want Liz to understand that hitting people isn’t the answer and that it’s dangerous for her to expose herself” that kara understood and completely agreed with.

 

“Let me take them to the DEO one day,” Kara asked carefully “I’m not asking a lot, but our daughters need to see that they aren’t weird, or strange, just because they’re different.”

 

Silence.

 

“Okay” she sighed “but Alex has to be there with you and if anything, and I mean  anything  happens, Kara, you’re going to call me and…”

 

She was interrupted by a calm and sweet kiss that raised her train of thought and made her realize how tired she was of fighting against something that could be fixed. Lena raised her hand and pulled their faces closer, deepening their lips and smiling, because she had married her best friend, she had two wonderful daughters and she didn’t have to deal with everything alone anymore. She wasn’t alone anymore, her nights weren’t spent in her office at L-Corp, with a glass of whiskey and repetitive thoughts about her disastrous family. No. Now her family was composed of various different people that loved each other and respected one another. Lois and Clark had become frequent visitors in the holidays, both at National City and Midvale. Lena also remembered the time they traveled to Kansas, to visit Kent’s farm and let the girls learn how to ride horses.

 

She remembered the competitions between Reign, Clark, and Kara and how Alex would get unbearably competitive. There was also James, Winn, Eve and J’onn. And now her daughters weren’t the only ones, there was Jonathan who was the most joyful and warm kid Lena had ever known, and also Suzie, who always had a magic trick to show or a silly joke to tell. Also, Ramona and Julie still remained the most fun pair in town, with their pack of terrorizing children - as Alex used to say - and miraculous ideas. Ezra, Grace, Theo, and Thomas became the balance of two words for Lizzie and Ellie. It was from them that they learned how to be more human, to control their strength, to hug without hurting, and play at the same level as them. Well, no one there knew about Supergirl, but it was necessary.

 

One day, if either Lizzie or Ellie wanted to tell, it would be their choice. For now, her mothers were the ones deciding for them.

 

Kara suggested that they went to the bedroom and Lena agreed. That conversation wasn’t over yet and she needed to show Lizzie she wasn’t angry, or disappointed and that she understood her pain. They knocked on the door before entering the room, even though she knew both of them could hear them from the living room, and smiled at the sight of Ellie embracing her older sister and stroking her raven hair, as dark as Lena’s.

 

“Are you calmer?” Lena asked as she sat on the bed and moved the hair from Lizzie’s face “can you sit up a little?”

 

Lizzie nodded, still silent. Kara moved Ellie away and sat with her on the other bed.

 

“Baby, I need you to listen to me out, okay?’ she nodded again “I know it sucks to be different, to have to keep a secret like this and pretend it’s normal” Lena empathized “but real life isn’t like the superhero movies, people can get hurt and you can get hurt. I’m not asking you to hide because I’m embarrassed by you or because I want you to be normal. I just want you to be safe.” She held her daughter’s face.

 

“But… but why can't I tell anyone? Why can’t I be like yeyu? She doesn’t hide!” Lizzie argued, upset.

 

“Darling, yeyu is a grown-up and she was only allowed to be Supergirl as an adult, your grandma didn’t let her use her powers when she arrived here on Earth, as she was older than both you can Ellie” Lena explained, “and you know why?”

 

“No…”

 

“Because people are scared of what’s different and that drives them to do bad things” she sighed “unfortunately, not everyone is going to understand how special you are, they’re going to want to hurt you. That’s how it went with your yeyu and it’s still like this to this day. Lizzie, one day your powers are going to help a lot of people, but for now, you’re my strong, brave, and loving little girl that I watched grow since you were a seedy about this size” she showed it with her finger and laughed “I love you, Lizzie. I just want you to understand that, for now, you can be a hero without wearing a cape and picking fights on the street.”

 

“I love you too, mama” she jumped to hug her. Her mother’s arms were always going to be the best place in the world.

 

Lena squeezed the girl as hard as she could, because she never wanted to lose her, or let her go.

 

“Your mom and I had an idea” Kara approached, with Ellie in her arms “it’s for both of you.”

 

“What is it? Is it food?” Ellie questioned curiously and her stomach roared “I’m hungry…”

 

“When are you not?” Lena picked her nose and she laughed.

 

“But first I want you to hear me out” they nodded “Your uncle Clark and I aren’t heroes because someone told us to be. We chose that” Kara explained, “but before any of that happened, he and I tried to make a difference as normal people, who go to work, have friends and family, like anyone.”

 

“But you fight on the streets with aunt Alex and aunt Reign!” Ellie exclaimed.

 

“I know, but we don’t fight good people, kids, or someone who just annoyed us” she looked at Lizzie and saw her cheeks turn red “I know you only meant to protect you sister, but as soon as you raise your hand against someone, you lose your argument. You two are Zor-Els and the House El stands for hope, for justice and that applies to every aspect of your lives. Supergirl always tries to solve the problem in a calmer way before fighting. They’re bad people, the men, and women who want to harm others. The boy from school is just a kid like you.”

 

“But he…”

 

“He acted wrongly and is going to get punished for it, but you can let your mom figure that out” she winked, and her wife and Lena rolled her eyes “but from the moment you hit it, you were also wrong. Do you understand that?”

 

“Yes, yeyu” Lizzie replied and sighed “but what was I supposed to do?”

 

“Go to the director’s office and ask her to call her” Lena answered “if she can’t fix it, then your yeyu and I can. Always.”

 

“We’re a team, you, me, El, and mom” Kara smiled to her “we’re always going to be a team.”

 

“Like The Incredibles?” Ellie asked excitedly and they laughed “we could fight like them! Please, please, please please!”

 

“Ellie, I don’t have powers,” Lena recalled with a smile.

 

“But you’re awesome” Lizzie pointed out “you’re the best mother in the world.”

 

And that made everything inside her fall apart.

 

“She’s the best and the prettiest!” Ellie said loudly and jumped into her mom’s arms “I love you, so, so, so” she kissed every inch of Lena’s face “can I have a cookie?”

 

“I knew there was something behind all that love” she then heard all of their stomachs roar.

 

Damned cute kryptonian.

 

“How about we build a pillow fort in the living room while your mom gets the cookies?” The girls screamed excitedly and used super-speed to get all the pillows at the same time. When they blinked, the moms realized they were alone and could hear the joyful chatting downstairs “uh… they didn’t even hear the idea…”

 

“Just like you never do” Lena pointed out with a smirk “do you think we’re going well in this?”

 

“I think we’re going very well” she kissed her and her stomach roared again “uh… er, I'm hungry?” she blushed hard.

 

“You always are, darling.”

 

“Mommy” Lizzie suddenly showed up by the bedroom door “I… uh… I forgot to tell you something…” she looked at the floor and lowered her head “I.. might just have… given a boy… chicken pox?”

 

Oh, Rao!

 

 

 

***

 

 

“Yeyu, if I finish more… hm, two math questions, can I have five more cookies?” Kara heard Ellie ask for the third time.

 

“El, the answer to this one isn’t seven” Lizzie looked at her sister’s notebook and frowned “how did you do this one?”

 

“I used the thing mama taught us last week, remember?” Ellie leaned on the table and wrote on the paper “so we get to the answer faster.”

 

Kara rolled her eyes because of course, Lena would teach them that sort of thing. Lizzie and Ellie already knew sixth-grade maths and were the smartest in their class, even though Ellie was quite lazy and only did things for food.

 

“Ellie, if you finish everything by four,” Kara pointed at the clock “I’ll take you two to Ramona’s house.”

 

“Come on, El” Lizzie poked the younger “just do it, use super speed!”

 

“No, no” Kara looked at her daughters “the only thing you’re allowed to use is super brain” both pouted immediately “Rao…”

 

How did her wife handle that? Kara asked herself. Three days ago, Lena had to go to Europe for work, because L-Corp was becoming more and more recognized and needed incentives from new investors. So, though she knew she was going to be missed, Lena organized everything for that trip, leaving a list in the kitchen writing what was in the fridge and the drawers, she also made a schedule for Kara to follow and left a little message for each of them, saying how much she was going to miss them and loved them to the moon. Of course, Kara freaked out a little, saying she couldn’t handle it alone because Lena was the balance of the house. After a long conversation, she was finally convinced she could spend a week alone with the girls.

 

And there she was, monitoring the homework and trying to not give in to the girl’s sly and cute requests.

 

“I’m done!” Ellie yelled a ‘wahoo’ and performed her victory dance on the chair “Yeyu, I finished my math, history, and geography homework!” She cheered.

 

“I’m done too!” Lizzie smiled “can we have the cookies now? Yes? Pretty please, yeyu?” she joined her hands as if praying and put on her best cute face.

 

“Rao, you two are really good convincing Luthors” Kara sighed and reached the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

 

“Mommy said we got it from you,” Ellie said and filled her hand with those, “she said you were even worse when you dated.”

 

“Your mother and I are going to have a very serious conversation once she’s back” Kara whispered, offended. How could she have said that to the girls? Rao, it wasn’t fair. She was going to put on the best drama she could.

 

“She always wins you with words, yeyu,” Lizzie said smiling, “aunt Alex said she winds you with her fingers, what does that mean?”

 

Rao, she was going to kill her sister!

 

How was she going to explain that to an eight-year-old?

 

“Yeyu, how do you win against someone with your fingers?” Ellie wondered “this is so good!” she said a mouthful, making her sister laugh. 

 

“We win, uh… with our fingers… uh, tickling” she answered quickly and scoffed “yeah, that’s it, tickling.”

 

“Mommy tickles you?” Lizzie arched her brow and Kara smiled as she noticed she did the exact same movement as her wife.

 

“Exactly, that’s why she always wins,” Kara finished off nervously. “Let's change the subject, put your notebooks in your bags and take them to the room.”

 

“Yeyu, can I take my new books to show Ezra, please, please, please!” Lizzie jumped up and down.

 

“Of course you can, but put them in the bag carefully!” Kara exclaimed as she saw her running up the stairs “Ellie if you want to take your new doll to play with Grace, you can too.”

 

“Thanks, yeyu!” Ellie finished putting her school material away and ran too.

 

In little time, the Luthor-Danvers family got in the car and went to their friend’s house. Ramona had called earlier saying they could go there for an afternoon snack, that the boys wanted to play on the trampoline their dad had bought a week ago. Julie was going to be there too, bringing Ezra and Grace to play too. Before leaving, Kara called Lena, telling her how she managed to get both Seedies - or peppers as Alex said - to finish all homework, but that they had also maybe eaten all the cookies in the jar. Of course, Lena just rolled her eyes, aware she had bought ten more packages besides the other fifteen ones in the drawer, she knew her girls could eat it all in less than three days, especially because her wife would join in too.

 

They said goodbye with an I love you and Lena promised to try to finish everything as soon as possible, so she could go home earlier.

 

“Look who it is if not the fittest mother in National City” Roman greeted as she answered the door and hugged Kara.

 

“Every time I look at her I can’t help but wonder if I should have had a cereal bar instead of ice cream,” Julie said right behind “hey, girls!” she opened her arms for the “I missed you, how’s life without mama bear?”

 

“We don’t have to sleep before nine” Ellie said with a smile “and we ate all the cookies!”

 

“All of them!” Lizzie laughed “and we’re sleeping in their bed every night!”

 

“That sounds really fun!” Julie replied “go play, Theo and Thomas are waiting for you and Lizzie, Ezra has something to give you” she winked and the girl blushed hard.

 

“They’re looking so much like you,” Ramona sighed, “and Lena, how is she?”

 

“Uh, busy, as always, but she sends hi and said you have to wait for her to finish watching How To Get Away With Murder” she rolled her eyes “she’s the slowest person in the world for tv shows.”

 

“You think I don’t know that” Julie sighed “Lena loses focus every time the news begins and Supergirl gets in the action, I think you should keep an eye out, Kara” she warmed.

 

“Do you think she has a crush for the girl of steel?” Ramona whispered, interested “oh, God, I have to ask her!”

 

“Crush?” Julia laughed ironically “she’s downright in love, but who am I to judge? That blonde just takes my breath away.”

 

“You and your shameless bisexuality” Ramona laughed and Kara didn’t know where to hide or what to say “if I were you, I’d keep an eye out” she pointed at Kara and it took everything in her not to laugh.

 

“I… uh, I will” Kara scoffed and she just knew her face was red “but… uh, it’s… normal, I think. To feel attracted to Supergirl...”

 

“Absolutely and lucky is however conquered her, who gets to live with her when she’s not fighting,” Julie said and they went to the back porch, where the table was filled with food and fresh orange juice.”

 

“Do you think she’s married?” Ramona wondered “I don’t think so, how can you handle family and a hero's life?”

 

“It would be complicated, but maybe she is” Julie sighed and Kara remained quiet, accompanying the conversation and answering them in her mind “she deserves to have someone who loves her.”

 

“Everyone does” Ramona shrugged “anyway, we’ll never know” she dropped the subject “the only thing I know is that those two are going to get married one day” she pointe at Lizzie and Ezra sitting on the treehouse together, with books around them and the little flower the boy had found on the park given her earlier.

 

“I told you I’d offer my son in marriage if their baby was born with her smile” she pointed at Kara “if she hurts my baby, I’ll break your face” she threatened with a smile “and don’t come playing mother bear, Lena isn’t here today.” ‘super’, Kara thought to herself.

 

How much irony in that word.

 

“Lizzie would never do that” Kara answered firmly “also, I think that’s going to take a long time, but if it does happen… Why would I worry? Ezra is a special boy” she smiled and Julia smiled back, and the three of them looked at the kids again.

 

“He hit that boy because of her” Ramona gossiped “he’s really brave the boy was twice his size.”

 

“My son is a hero,” Julie said smugly, “but I'm pretty sure Lizzie could have defended herself.”

 

“She let him stand up for her,” Kara confessed, because no one, besides Ellie of course, had done that before.”

 

Ramona and Julie sighed, in love. It was like seeing first love grow and not know what to do about it. They knew everything could change, they would grow, change personalities, make other friends, but right there, right now, they wanted to believe Lizzie, Ellie, Grace, Theo, Thomas, and Ezra would be friends forever.

 

After much playing, running, and eating the delicious hot dog Ramona’s husband had made, his specialty alongside dad jokes. Kara said goodbye to everyone and took home her dirty, sweaty, and earth-stained girls. Lizzie wouldn’t stop rambling to her sister, while Ellie laughed taking her shoes off in the car, complaining about how hot it was and how she missed the beach. Kara rolled her eyes and thought of how much that sounded like Sam, who when tired, would always say she missed Midvale and had to go back. It was with that on her mind that Kara called Alex, reminding her she had an important appointment in two days and would need her to get the girls to school. Also, she just really missed her youngest niece, Suzie.

 

Suzie was the precise copy of her mothers' dripping sarcasm in every word and being quite impatient with other kids her age. Alex and Sam had trouble at her first days in school because the girl simply couldn’t bear other children crying, talking, and screaming around, she was irritated very easily. Lena began to call the girl little Reign and Kara would always ask her a high-five, knowing that made her furious and roll her eyes, like a small adult. Suzie was really smart, a lot smarter than her mothers expected, and so, they got permission to move her up one grade; and that helped a lot in the adapting process at school. Apart from those details, Suzie was, undoubtedly, tender and sweet. At five years old, she had a better vocabulary than any eight-year-old and was presumptuous when it came to facts on dinosaurs. She took karate classes and loved to train with Alex at the DEO, driving all the agents mad.

 

Because she was kryptonian, like Sam, her energy and hunger were twice as anyone’s in that household, but Sam would always keep her on a limit. Because if it came to Alex, she would do anything to make the girl happy. The worst part for Suzie was accepting that Ruby had to move away and would only see her when she was on vacation or when Ruby managed to come. She missed her a lot. Sam understood how she felt because when the girl told her she had gotten a scholarship at Yale, her heart sank down and a mix of fear, terror, and pride took over her chest. She couldn’t get in the way of her dreams, but Sam wasn’t ready to drive to another state and see Ruby wave goodbye. Sam had never cried so hard, it was like ripping a part of herself and leaving it behind. But she couldn’t allow herself to fall, Suzie and Alex were still there, needing her attention and love.

 

So Alex organized a surprise and took the whole family on a secret trip on Valentine’s Day. When Sam realized, they were at the entrance of the university campus and Ruby was waiting for them in front of her dorm. Children grow, she thought to herself.

 

And thank God Suzie is going to take some good years until she moves out.

 

“Did you brush your teeth?” Kara asked before entering the fort of pillows built in front of the tv.”

 

“Yes!” they answered and opened some space for their mom “yeyu, is mommy going to take long yet?” Ellie asked with her bright green eyes.

 

“I miss her and her hug” Lizzie murmured and sighed “how many days until she comes back?”

 

“Four.” Kara heard the disappointed ‘ahh’, “Do you want to call her?”

 

“Yes, please!” they almost screamed. Kara then opened FaceTime on her phone and soon the face she loved the most in the world appeared on the screen.

 

Lena was still awake, of course, even though it was over two in the morning. She could see her tired eyes and the way she was really making an effort on ending that trip as soon as possible.

 

“Hey, shouldn’t you be in bed?” Lena arched a brow but she couldn’t stop smiling.

 

“Mama! I miss you, so, so, so much,” Lizzie pouted “can you come back tomorrow?”

 

“Can you have breakfast with us?” Ellie asked “Can you, mom? I want you to be here” she pouted too.

 

“We want you to come back, yeyu does too!” Lizzie accused and laughed “she bought that ice cream you said she only eats when she’s sad.”

 

Lena looked at her wife and saw her cheeks turn burning red.

 

“Uh...I’m… I miss you too” she confessed, “but we’re going to be okay until you come back, I promise.”

 

“I really miss all of you too, I wish I could come back tomorrow, but…” the girls let out an upset sigh “I still have some meetings here, with those annoying guys I told you about, remember?”

 

“Those guys with duck faces?” Ellie commented, making them all laugh.

 

“I can go there made all their stomachs upset, like uncle James last week” Lizzie laughed loudly, though she knew it was wrong. But still, it was really funny “then you can come home.”

 

“She also upset uncle’s Winn stomach,” Ellie smiled.

 

“Oh, but you made aunt Eve see a bunch of cockroaches on the well and then made her scared of those giant bears” she accused her sister and Lena just smiled, aware her girls were, in fact, troublemakers.

 

“Okay, girls, it’s late and you need to sleep,” Lena said and another choir of ‘ahh’ sounded “how about we sleep together?”

 

“Mommy, are you crazy?” Ellie frowned “you’re not even here!”

 

“But I can be here on the other side and watch you sleep while I finish answering my emails” Lena suggested, but Kara looked at her in a way she knew what she was going to say next.

 

“We’re only going to sleep if you do too,” Kara said stubbornly, “take it or leave it.”

 

“Yeah!” Lizzie and Ellie crossed their arms and waited for an answer.

 

“You won!” Lena threw her hands up, surrendering.

 

They got ready, with only a screen separating and Kara placed the phone in a way they could all see each other. They wished goodnight and good dreams, repeating ‘I love you' over and over, and then fell asleep.

 

Even with the distance, Kara and Lena knew her hearts would always be close to each other.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“Aunt Sam!” Lizzie and Ellie cheered as soon as the office door was opened. Sam smiled and got up to greet them.

 

“How are my favorite nieces?” She kissed each of them.

 

“But you… you only have two, yeyu” Suzie exposed and Alex laughed.

 

“Why does she have to be so much like you?” Sam turned to her wife and Alex just raised her arms “and where’s my kiss?” she crossed her arms.

 

Suzie ran to her and held her right, at least there she couldn’t hurt her.

 

“I have a surprise for you, troublemaker” Sam murmured to the girl “a really special one” she looked over to the door and nodded.

 

When the girls saw the tall young woman, with short hair and that familiar smile, the screaming could make anyone deaf, kryptonian or not. Jess entered the room quickly asking if everything was okay and Sam assured her that it was. Lizzie, Ellie, and Suzie ran to hug Ruby and they all fell back on the couch. Ruby laughed at their excitement and couldn’t believe how much she had missed those girls too. Moving away, being at college, and living a life full of responsibilities made her sacrifice the time she used to spend with her family but in mother’s day week, she just had to go to National City and be with the people she loved most in the world.

 

Alex froze because she didn’t even know her oldest daughter was coming. Sam hugged her from the side and kissed her cheeks, laughing at that way Alex never immediately reacted to a surprise.

 

“Rubs! You’re back! Are you going to live here again?” Lizzie asked loud.

 

“Do you still live in college? Are you going to stay here? Are you dating someone?” Ellie spilled the words faster than she could process “did you know Liz is dating too?”

 

“I don’t date, El!” Lizzie shoved her sister but Ellie simply laughed and took all of them to an alternate reality, where nothing made sense, as always.

 

“El, take us back!” Suzie screamed and held on to her sister “I’m scared of clowns, El! Mom!” she screamed for Alex.

 

“I’m going to get you sick for a week!” Lizzie shoved her again and Ellie blinked so she could fall into a yogurt pool “ugh, Ellie!”

 

“Ellie Luthor Zor-El!” The familiar and angry voice made them stop everything. Ellie shrunk her shoulders and closed her eyes, praying to Rao to protect her “undo this mess, now.”

 

Suddenly, they were back in the office again and, when Lizzie saw her mother’s figure by the door, her bright blue eyes shone with tears.

 

“Mama!” she screamed and left the others behind on the couch, running to hug Lena “mom, you’re back!” Ellie joined them right away, forgetting the lecture she was going to get.

 

Lena kneeled down, putting her purse on the floor, and held them tight, almost crying for love.

 

“I came home earlier because I was thinking I couldn’t sleep in that room anymore without you two,” she said tenderly and got kisses on her cheeks in return “and Ellie, you’re in big trouble,” she said, making Alex and Sam laugh.

 

“Ohh…” the girl frowned.

 

“Rubs, do I get a hug too, or are you too old for that?” Lena teased.

 

“Get out because I’m first in this line” Alex interrupted and pulled her daughter for a hug “you’re going to give me a heart attack on day, Ruby” she sighed and held on not to cry “I’m not letting you go back to Yale ever.”

 

“I already knew you were going to say that, mom” Ruby laughed “and I missed you too.”

 

“Aunt Lutessa!” Suzie greeted and jumped off the couch. Of course, Alex taught her to call Lena by her middle name “did you bring any gifts? Did you?”

 

“Hey, little Reign!” Lena smiled and carried her up, kissing her cheeks “hmm, I think I forgot…” she teased “did you want, by any chance, that doll with that pink dress?”

 

“Ugh, no! It’s too girly for me!” Suzie grimaced “I want that gun that shoots darts.”

 

“That’s my girl” Alex smiled and winked at the girl.

 

“Now that we’re all here, Eliza is waiting for us for lunch,” Sam said “Can Kara make it on time? Winn, James, and Eve are bringing dessert.

 

“I don’t know, I didn’t tell her I was arriving earlier” Lena flushed.

 

“Are you trying to kill my younger sister, Lutessa?” Alex frowned.

 

“I want to kill her, but of something else, Alex” she winked.

 

“Of tickling!” Ellie screamed, “that’s how you win someone with your fingers!” Alex choked on air and Ruby snorted.

 

“Yes, that’s right,” Sam scoffed nervously, “of tickling.”

 

Lena frowned, confused. Kara better has a good explanation for that.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

The school’s theater was already getting crowded, with the muttering of parents echoing on the walls. The Danvers-Arias family had already arrived, saving seats fit the others on their way. Kara was responsible for picking J’onn and Eliza up, while Lena got the girls ready and had to bring them on time. Suzie was sitting on Ruby’s legs, telling her about the new moves she had learned in karate class and wondering if she would go up in bands next month. Sure she thought so and Ruby wouldn’t miss it for the world. Though the age gap between them was big, Ruby had always been patient, letting the girl sleep in her bed when she was home, play with her colorful pens, and eat the candy she bought on her trips. According to Suzie’s own words, Ruby was her favorite person in the world.

 

The next ones to arrive were Winn and Eve, then Lois, Clark, and Jonathan joined too. When Kara arrived with her mom and the DEO’s latter boss, Lena was already seated next to her cousin and smiling nervously, because the Mother’s Day presentation was about to begin. Every year was like this, the nervousness, the pride, and anxiety. Lena didn’t know how to deal with that, she didn’t find herself, most times, worthy of so much love, of that family of hers. She had learned so much over the past years, she couldn’t even list them all. Various flashbacks went by in her mind right now. Like the day a shy reporter showed up in her office at L-Corp, the day she realized she finally had a best friend. She also remembered all the attacks, the lonely nights, the lunches at CatCo, her wife’s asshole ex-boyfriend, of when she got pregnant against her will and decided to put the baby up for adoption first.

 

God, so much has changed. Lena laughed at her past self for thinking Kara and Supergirl were different people for so long, and then came the pain of knowing it was a lie. She remembered how broken Alex was from loving someone who didn’t share the same dreams as her and how she was what she needed to step out of her bell jar. To allow herself to love and be loved. She remembered all the stages of her pregnancy, the classes, the fake marriage, the funny, iconic friends she had made. She also thought back to her first trip to Midvale and of the many memories that the beach kept. It was there that Lena accepted to date her wife and it was also there she confessed she loved her for the first time. And that was almost eight years ago. Lizzie was still a crying, needy baby, who demanded attention and time. She was still an only child, she thought.

 

And then Ellie came to her mind. The small blondie, with the gift of manipulating dreams. All the terror and fear from those days didn’t exist anymore, but Lena knew it was scary, and that it hurt to see Kara stuck in a coma. Those were memories they all chose to forget forever.

 

“Is everything okay?” Kara pulled her from her thoughts and intertwined their fingers. Lena observed how the wedding ring on her finger was shining, proving everything was true.

 

She had indeed married her best friend, the one who promised to never leave and always protect her.

 

And that made her heart skip a beat.

 

“Just remembering good things,” Lena confessed quietly.

 

“Good things?” Kara wrinkled her brow.

 

“It’s always good when I have you on my side” she smiled and blushed “I love you, kara. I always, always am going to love you. Don’t you forget that?”

 

“I won’t” Kara smiled “because I’ll always love you, truth is… I’ve always loved you.

 

And so, Lena felt her sweet lips on hers and all the lights went on, leaving only the stage illuminated.

 

The girls’ class was the third to come up, singing a song and performing a fun choreography. After they all paid honors to the mothers, Lizzie performed her ballet dance and Ellie performed her theater play she had rehearsed for weeks and had made her anxious all morning. The teachers guided the students, helping them with the clothes and positioning and then taking them backstage. The parents stood up proudly, especially the mothers, who couldn’t stop crying and applauding. The Luthor-Danvers family observed with all with insurmountable love and an ineffable warmth in their chest.

 

Suddenly, the girls’ teacher got on stage and announced a surprise. Lizzie and Ellie were going to sing a song they had rehearsed in secret. Lena and Kara were called to get closer and they obeyed, their hands shaking and hearts almost jumping out of their mouths.

 

The girls smiled awkwardly and then the acoustic guitar began to play the melody. Her childish voices, sweet and soft, accompanied every note right, pronouncing all the words as if they were so simple, when in fact, they meant so much. Lena felt tears run down and Kara held her, crying too. Being a mother sure had its sacrifices, especially when that responsibility crept in by surprise. But they didn’t regret anything. Was it tiring? Yes, definitely. Every day was a different mess, an exhausting, fun routine. But it was so worth it, especially when they looked at those two girls dancing shily and held the mic trying not to break it in half.

 

And now I know why all the trees change in the fall

I know you were on my side even when I was wrong

And I love you for giving me your eyes

Staying back and watching me shine

And I didn't know if you knew, so I'm taking this chance to say

That I had the best day with you today

Notes:

Thank you for reading!

Don't forget to leave kudos!

Chapter 34: EPILOGUE: The Misadventures of Supergirl and the Beans

Notes:

This is it. Strap in one last time.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Another beginning of the week, another Monday waiting for all the women in the house to wake up. Well, not all of them. Lena, as usual, woke up a few minutes before her alarm clock, feeling the warm, sleeping body of her wife by her side, her arms possessively grabbing her waist. Years ago, Lena would have never pictured a situation where Kara Danvers, the first reporter who first believed her character and essence before making any judgments, the same person that, although was hiding a heroic part of herself, still chose to be on her side. And then, a year later after they had first met, they found out they were mothers of the same baby, and all the rollercoaster of emotions, feelings, fighting, and arguing began. It was weird, almost bizarre - to not say funny and insane - to remember that one day they were just best friends with a complicated history, but similar paths overall. To wake up and see the blonde hair spread around the pillow, the freckles covering a part of her cheeks and her pink lips slightly open, showing Kara was in deep sleep, still sounded like a dream.

Sometimes Lena didn’t believe it to be real. That they were married, that the ring remained intact on her finger even after almost sixteen years, and that the feeling continued to grow. Lena couldn’t say she loved her the same, because that affection, warmth, care, and pleasure in sharing your life next to the same person only increased gradually each day, month, and year. Lena felt proud to say that she was a Danvers now.

And was even prouder to be a Zor-El.

Trying not to wake her and dodge the strong, stubborn embrace, Lena smiled, kissed her face, and then left the room. It was still early and she preferred it like that, at least now she had time to prepare breakfast, hang out with Margot for a while, the new dog - since Agnes had been gone for almost three years now, dying from old age - and then going to the girl’s room to call them for school. They still lived in the same house, it was silly to move out when all the memories were so well written and on display in those walls and rooms. Sure, Lizzie also had a part of her childhood marked on her old apartment, and in Kara’s old one, but Lena liked to believe the best part began there. Ellie took her first steps in that living room, said her first words, broke her first piece of furniture with her uncontrollable strength, and also laughed with her sister. Lena was so proud of her girls, to the point when she couldn’t even remember a life without them, without their hugs, laughs, neediness, and also fights for attention. Of course, raising two kids of such similar ages and strong personalities was never going to be an easy task, and it never was, but it was never impossible either.

Kara was the basis, strength, and support Lena always needed and never lacked. Kara would divide herself between CatCo and the superhero life, and her role as a mother, wife, and friend. It was somewhat easier to deal with once her seedies turned eight and became more independent, but once they entered adolescence, Lena really thought she did not have the psychological and emotional structure to deal with two sixteen-year-olds that every month went through a god awful PMS, face acne, boy trouble, fear of embarrassing themselves at school,  clothes that were never good enough and innumerous extracurricular activities they liked to dive in and then would feel overcharged. Well, ignoring all those scary and frankly despairing details, Lizzie and Ellie became gorgeous girls, polite, tender, good, and with a sense of justice worthy of the House El and with wit and intelligence worthy of a proper Luthor.

Lizzie turned sixteen first, her eyes remained as blue as her yeyu’s, her black hair fell like waves on her shoulders and the infamous glass garnished her face to help her with her powers. She was shyer and quieter, like Lena, and was also not a girl of many words, but she always knew what to say. Her favorite subjects at school were physics and biology and she wanted to follow her mother’s steps at college. She liked to read novels and thrillers - a taste she got from her aunt Alex - she hated being the center of attention, didn’t have a lot of friends, and preferred to stay home instead of going to parties and concerts like the other girls in her class. Julie and Ramona’s children were still her best friends, always meeting up for movie Sundays, and the summer camping Kara insisted on doing, saying it was a family tradition when in reality Lena hated to spend any time being inside of a tent, in the middle of the woods, without a decent shower and air conditioner. So, that ‘tradition’ became a responsibility for the Danvers sister, while Lena and Sam would enjoy the time off at some spa.

Ellie, on the other hand, had her yeyu’s spirit, always smiling, chatting, and making jokes not even she understood most times and being the other sunshine at home. The girl had long blonde hair, eyes as green as Lena’s, and a smile that could make anyone’s day the best day. She loved to spend afternoons in the park, reading or just listening to music and writing some stories on the notebook Kara had given her. Her favorite hobby was, undoubtedly, writing, and her dream was to one day be a successful screenwriter. Unlike her sister, who always avoided being the center of attention and lost herself for hours inside mathematical equations and chemistry for school. Ellie loved to be a drama queen, that’s why she joined the theater club as soon as she could. She never thought of being an actress, it wasn’t exactly what she wanted as a carrier, however, she couldn’t deny that body language was something that interested and intrigued her to the core. Grace, who was in the same class as her, became her best friend. There wasn’t one moment when they weren’t together, talking about movies and tv shows’ scripts, planning their next binge watch, and commenting on the film industry’s latest news.

Sure, though she was more drawn to the arts and languages. Ellie was as good as her sister at calculus and science. But she left the area completely free for Lizzie and Ezra.

By the way, Ezra was officially Lizzie’s best friend and go-to partner and both rarely spent any time apart. Julie said she still believed in a possible relationship or romance of any sort. And yes, anyone who looked at them together would say the same. The way Lizzie looked at him and smiled, fixing her glasses over her nose and blushing looked a lot like Kara finding out she was in love with L-Corp’s CEO. However, Ezra had never said a thing about having or not having feelings for her best friend, maybe his fear was the same Lena had felt in the past: losing her for making such a simple, yet grand and scary mistake. The boy was kind, comprehensive, patient, and dreamed of being a great engineer one day, just like Lizzie rooted for it too. During test weeks, he would practically spend twenty-four hours every day next to her, reviewing the subjects, reminding her that she was smart enough to get good grades, and also being her balancing point. The opposite was valid too, Lizzie helped him focus more, to be more organized, she would say yes to visiting new bookshops, parks, and museums with him, at the weekend and then they would call it a day while lying at the couch, eating pizza and watching some weird documentary Ezra insisted on putting on.

Life went on after ups and downs that happen when you’re a Luthor married to a Super. James continued to be CatCo’s CEO, Kara remained the chief reporter and was still of help to Nia Nal, who was now a junior reporter. Winn and Eve had finally taken the next step after four years of dating, getting married at the end of July in a small, but a charming ceremony. He was still working at the DEO, helping Alex and J’onn on the missions and now also counting on his wife’s presence, since the CatCo’s former secretary had proved her dedication as a scientist to some pretty complex situations the department had to face. Children were never in their plans so, besides Leah, they adopted three more dogs and were living in a suburban house near National City. Alex was now general director, J’onn’s old job since the martian decided to retire and work on the outside. Of course, he didn’t fully leave the department, but he chose to have more hours to himself and get to enjoy life as a ‘normal human being’.

Eliza was of crucial support for him at that moment, becoming a friend and confidant, and she had also found in him a loyal friend and overall fun company. Their days were divided by: working at L-Corp and the DEO, paying attention to their daughters, and spoiling the grandkids. Suzie was the most spoiled one, after all, many privileges came with the title of youngest in the family.

“Good morning, baby” Lena kissed Lizzie’s dark hair, hearing her grumble and hide her face under the pillow “good morning, El” she repeated the motion, Ellie smiled and stretched under the sheets. Lena then turned off the two red light lamps.

“Ugh, mom…” Lizzie sighed, annoyed by the noises that had just become too loud “just five more minutes.”

“Your yeyu is still sleeping, you have the time to go be there with her while I finish making breakfast” she barely had time to finish and her daughter ran inhumanly fast to the other room “Thank god someone is as energized as I am in the morning” she turned to Ellie. The girl lazily scratched her face and yawned, still sleepy.

“Good morning, mom,” Ellie said hoarsely, feeling her mother sit next to her and pull her closer “I already have too much from yeyu, I had to get something from you besides the eyes, right?” She turned to her.

“You can be however similar to your yeyu, but your good taste in dark coffee and boring articles are entirely mines” they laughed, Lena lied next to her girl and held her right. The smell of chamomile in her hair reminded her of Kara, just like the warm feel of her toned skin.

“Is yeyu really going with you to the gym today, or are you making up some excuse?” Ellie questioned curiously.

“How is the bet so far?” Lena arched a brow and Ellie laughed loudly.

“Aunt Alex raised it to two hundred last week, she really doesn’t think yeyu is going” she confessed. Of course, Alex was going to bet on that too.

And of course, she wasn’t alone in it, Lois was on the bet too. Even though she was living in Metropolis.

“Well, we’ll see” Lena sighed, finding it funnier than it actually was “what do you say you wake your sister up and then get down to help me with the pancakes? Kara is the one taking you to school today.”

“Ugh… why can’t it be you, mom?” Ellie whimpered, hiding her face on her shirt. Lena rolled her eyes at the familiar drama.

“Your yeyu loves being with you in the morning at least and you know it’s hard for her to pick you up since the DEO usually needs Supergirl” Lena explained patiently “she just… gets too excited, it’s like a charm.”

“A charm? Mom, she calls me seedy like I’m still two years old! And in front of my friends!” she complained like the teenager she was.

“If you work with me here and get your sister to come before you’re late, I’ll bake your favorite cookies for today’s afternoon snacks” and the magic words had been uttered. In a matter of seconds, Ellie got up, kissed her mother’s face, and marched to the room next door.

Suddenly, Lena heard Lizzie scream enraged, and then run after her sister, screaming in panic.

Yeah, the week had begun.

 

***

 

“Mom, I really can’t skip school today?” Lizzie questioned for the hundredth time while finishing one of her pancakes/ Kara looked at her wife, confused about why her daughter was so insecure that morning.”

“Remember that project on the Middle East cultures she was panicking about last month?” Lena explained and she nodded “Well, the presentation for it is today and apparently her group wants to perform a sort of dance…”

“Oh” was what Kara managed to say before turning to her oldest daughter who looked like a pile of anxiety and embarrassment. Lizzie never liked performing anything as a teenager, actually, there was a reason for it. One that she wished she could forget “look at me is’kah.”

Kara sat next to her and saw her clear blue eyes tear up. It was in times like there Kara realized how human, like Lena, her daughters were. Ellie looked at her mom and they got quiet, letting Kara try to figure out that problem.

“N-no” her voice stuttered “I already know what you’re going to say, yeyu. That I have to face it, to be strong and that I’m smart, but I…”

“Let me speak, okay?” Kara interrupted, reaching the girl's hands and holding them tight “I know that after that day you can’t perform and stand in front of a crowd, I get that you don’t want to do that. I’ll give you two options: you come with me to CatCo and then go back to school after that class, or I’ll stay with you during the presentation if it will make you feel more safe and comfortable” Kara looked for Lena’s look fast, trying to see if she agreed because they didn’t decide anything alone. And Lena nodded and smiled, thinking it was a great idea.

“But how would I do that? I can’t not get the grade” she sighed, feeling calmer.

“Liz, we’re at the end of the semester, you already passed all your classes” Ellie replied, moving to her sister’s side "it’s a shame we’re not twins, I could present your part for you.

“People already think we are,” Liz retorted, making Lena laugh.

“Impossible, I’m way prettier” El provoked “and they would know it’s me, my dancing skills are far better” she winked, making her yeyu roll her eyes.

“Yeah, just like your skills at not bumping and falling every five minutes” Liz shot back in the same tone. The two were always like this, arguing, joking, and laughing.

“You two spend too much time with your aunt Alex” Kara accused with a smile and got up, hugging your wife from behind as she put the dishes on the sink “it’s all your fault,” she said in a sweet voice holding Lena’s waist and leaning her head on her should, inhaling her sweet perfume.

“Mine?” Lena turned around and looked at her “okay, Mrs. Luthor-Danvers, I’ll remember that next time you come asking for an alone day with me” she smiled, making Kara blush hard.

“You wouldn’t” she put on the damned pout. Lena rolled her eyes and gave her a quick peck on the lips, hearing the girls groan in the background.

“We’re right here” Ellie grumbled “and we don’t mind sleeping at aunt Alex’s s you can break the bed with your ‘pillow fight’” she quoted with her fingers and Lizzie spit out her milk.

This time Kara groaned and hid her red face on her wife’s shoulder, who was still laughing and holding her waist. Rao, why did her little girls have to grow up? It was easier to hide those things when a simple lie did it, or a story came up in the same second, but not anymore. Now they probably imagined other things, and the worst part was that Kara still thought they were too young to understand a subject they could only know of when they were like… thirty. Or over. It wasn’t fair, both were only sixteen, well… Ellie’s birthday hadn’t even happened yet and that only made it all a lot more embarrassing and despairing. Of course, Lena dealt with it in a much better, more mature way with the girls, simply because she knew things like dating, sex, drugs, and alcohol were inescapable in high school. So it was better if they talked about it at home, where Lizzie and Ellie would get serious and valid advice and a proper explanation, than not having the trust and freedom for them to go ask someone who couldn’t tell them the right things.

And just the sudden and scary idea of sitting on the couch with them to explain what was sex and everything that it implied made Kara want to go back to her coma again.

Rao, why did they have to grow up?

“Well, what have you decided, Liz?” Lena finally said “we have to hurry, I have a meeting right now and your yeyu has to tell James if she’s going with you for school

“Ellie, can you be with me right on the front?” she turned to her sister, who had just shoved an entire pancake on her mouth. She looked at her confused and then remembered what the prior subject was.

“Hm,” she answered and nodded, unable to say much more.

“Chewing, dear” Lena handed her a glass of water knowing it was going to take a while for her to swallow.

“I’ll go to school, but El is going to be there with me and if anything happens… she can help me” Lizzie proposed, proud of her idea and Kara agreed.

“Okay, I’m going to get changed and we’ll be off” Kara kissed her wife again and went upstairs.

“Girls, go up, brush your teeth, take your bags, and please don’t forget the glasses, though you don’t have a secret identity, I’d rather avoid accidents,” Lena said taking the food from the table “and say the same thing to your yeyu.”

“If we had secret identities, you’d never find out” Ellie teased, like usual.

“Ask Kara how that went last time and we’ll talk then” Lena retorted in the same tone, leaving her daughter’s eyes wide open.

“Mom!” Lizzie laughed “you’re evil!”

“Sometimes my Luthor genes get the best of me, now up!” She ordered. As soon as she heard the rushed steps upstairs and also the laughs, she allowed herself to smile and think of how lucky she was.

When they were all finally ready, after many coming and going to the room because someone had forgotten someone or Kara didn’t take an important paper, Lena locked the house and said goodbye to her girls, wishing them a good day at school and telling her wife she would be waiting for her to lunch, like always. The two cars left the garage at the same time, Lena turning right and Kara taking the left, as the girls got older, her mothers soon realized they were going to need another car. Even though Kara was a terrible driver. Lizzie and Ellie, besides school, had plenty of extracurricular activities, which were a lot when they were twelve, and now came down to theater classes, chemistry club, and french and german lessons. So far the ‘who is going to take over L-Corp in the future’ subject hadn’t come up and Lena didn’t want to impose that on her daughters. She knew what the weight of being forced to do something you don’t enjoy felt like. But both girls already had their minds on that subject.

 

 

***

 

 

“Good morning, Mrs. Danvers” Jess greeted Lena as soon as she stepped out for the elevator, with the usual charisma and politeness “the investors are already expecting you in meeting room 3, and Mrs. Arias-Danvers had already arrived too.”

 

“Thank you, Jess” Lena smiled and walked into her room, now with a lot more frames than before. On top of her table, there was a picture of Lizzie and Ellie, one only of Kara and one where the fours of them were wearing matching pajamas lying on the couch “I hope I didn’t interrupt any sexual activity in my office again” Lena said as she found Alex on Sam’s lap, but both were properly dressed and laughing at something on Alex’s phone.

 

“Unlike you and my sister, we know a thing called a key and it’s used to lock doors” Alex shot back “and good morning, Lutessa.

 

“Should I remind you that that also happened when this office was mine” Sam smirked, making her friend roll her eyes “you finally made it on time, no fights or complaints about not having any clothes to school?”

 

“The good thing about paying a private school is that they have mandatory uniforms and miraculously we didn’t have any issues” Lena answered. Who would have thought that the always-on-time CEO who worked until the late hours would now rarely be there on time in the morning and also had to leave precisely at six pm to pick her daughter up in school? Sure, Lena never forgot her professionalism and so told Jess to avoid scheduling meetings and conferences too early, so she wouldn’t have to excuse herself every time Lizzie refused to get out of bed or Ellie went on about some drama regarding the theater kids “try having two teenagers os similar ages in your house” Lena continued and sat in front of them “how are things? How is Suzie? Any news from Ruby?”

 

“Suzie… well, you know her” Sam looked at her wife and shook her head, laughing “fourteen and think she ruled the world, she still thinks she can make a living with the band she has had with her friends since last year and refuses to listen to anything that claims the opposite” she explained.

 

“Little Reign knows exactly how to be stubborn” Lena smiled at her memories of her.

 

“You have no idea.” Alex sighed “Ruby called us yesterday to say she was going on a trip and we don’t even know where to. Theoretically speaking, she should be getting ready to take her doctor’s degree in England, ever since she got in she has been a little distant… remember Colin?” she asked with a wondering face, Sam held her hand and slowly stroked her thumb on her palm.

 

“The first boyfriend?” Lena arched a brow

 

“That one” she continued “she found him almost four years ago and said it wasn’t a big deal and well… you know the rest, they dated, broke up, and then decided they should give it one more try since they were taking their master’s degree at the same university.

 

“So… they’re together” Sam and Alex nodded “and does he, perhaps, know that Ruby is leaving again?”

 

They looked at each other and the answer was there, so clear and distinct 

 

“We don’t know” Sam confirmed the obvious, “I think this trip is something she wanted to do to tell him. Ruby would never give up her doctor’s degrees, she already studied and tried it for almost two years, it would be like throwing a huge opportunity away.”

 

“This is going to be a hurricane of feelings, after all, they found each other again after so many years and now are being practically forced to break up again” Lena pointed out, upset to know that Ruby was going to have to deal with something as painful as a break-up.

 

“We’re still waiting for her to call and tell us what she’s up to and how she’s going to do it, for now, we’re only going to deal with a prepubescent girl, stressed out from school” Alex rolled her aways at her own words. She didn’t remember being so hard as a child as her daughter and she couldn’t imagine that Sam had been like that one day. Reign might truly have something to do with it “well, I’m off to the DEO before Winn calls complaining that Eve is trying to change the lab dynamics again” Alex got up from her wife’s lap and kissed her goodbye “good luck on the meeting you two, you’re the women of my life” she kissed Lena’s face and then walked away.

 

“Ready for a full hour or men in suits telling us what to do?” Sam asked with a smug look on her face, of course. Neither of them would be surprised to hear the same old complaints and suggestions from their investors and new partners every day, it was hard for them to accept that the company was run by two women, especially because both of them, besides being mothers and women, were married to women just as powerful and strong like them.

 

Lena rolled her eyes and smirked, leaving her purse on the desk and then taking the folders next to it. They walked out of the door together, where Jess was waiting with the schedule and planner for that day. However, before they got out of the elevator and stepped into the shark tank, Lena touched her friend’s shoulder lightly, she could feel the tension emanating from her body.

 

“She’s going to be okay, I promise” Lena whispered and received an honest smile in return.

 

“I hope so.”

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Two advanced math classes after the geography period and finally lunchtime came, for Ellie’s happiness as relief, who could basically hear her stomach roar at this point. Lizzie had managed to present the project without big incidents, like crying, shaking, or forgetting what she was supposed to say. Ellie stayed by her side through the whole thing, mentally thanking the teacher who didn't mind it, after all the two sisters were the best, most polite students of their class. As they left the room, Grace bumped into them in the hallway and began to ramble about her language and communications class - a class she had voluntarily signed up to and was loving every part of it. It was funny to see that, despite being so joyful and excited, Julie’s youngest daughter had an envying patient. There wasn’t a single moment Lizzie or Ellie could think of Grace getting mad or simply stressed, like any other normal teen. No, the girl with hazel eyes and freckled cheeks had the best advice, the best jokes, and the best self-control in the world.

 

Her brown hair now with pink and blue locks were usually braided, her shirts were customized in her house’s garage, where there was a collection of paints and brushes, and no one could deny her style was by far the coolest and most modern in the school. Though she was a visual and performing art student, Grace knew how to dress and impress. Ellie loved how she was always there to help her friend when in a clothes emergency.

 

“Hey, Grace!” Lizzie greeted when she finally took a break to breathe between phrases.

 

“How was your presentation, Liz? No heart attacks today?” she asked with a smile, aware that the Luthor sisters would never suffer from any human diseases, after all, they were fully human “by the way, Ezra said he is meeting us for lunch after basketball, Theo and Thomas are tagging along.”

 

“It was okay, but only because El was there with me” she looked at her sister and smiled, getting the same in return “there’s an empty table there” she pointed at the cafeteria. It was beginning to get crowded at the muffled but loud voices echoed through the tall walls, making it all louder than usual.

 

“Grace, did you hear about the party before summer break?” Ellie sat next to her friend while Lizzie sat in front of them, making space for Ezra by her side, of course, “I think it’s going to be at Bertinelli’s place.”

 

Lizzie choked on her soda as she heard that name.

 

“You’re not thinking about going to her house, are you?” she asked in disbelief and almost yelled. And she knew she didn’t need to, her sister was super hearing “Ellie…” the blondie laughed and fixed the glasses over her nose.

 

“What’s the big deal? Just because our mom had an affair with hers and couldn’t handle being dumped?” she shrugged “it’s not like I’m going there to rub it in her face” she smiled and took a sip of her soda, getting a suspicious look from her sister and best friend “what?”

 

“You think we’re really buying that?” Grace crossed her arms and wrinkled her nose, something that always made Ellie a bit nervous “please, if you’re going, I’m going too.”

 

“This is why I love you, you know that?” Ellie smirked and showed her the tongue “but we can’t forget our end of semester presentation, Ms. Winner was pretty clear about our responsibilities. And you didn’t tell me what your part is going to be this time.”

 

Grace, this time, swallowed dry and it was unusual. Extremely usual, she was never awkward or speechless.

 

“Is everything okay?” Lizzie checked on her friend and she just nodded “okay, then, back to the part subject… I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go.”

 

“I was counting on your illustrious presence, Liz” her green eyes shone in a way that Lizzie was already too familiar with. Ellie was having ideas and that wasn’t good. It never was “you never go out unless it’s to museums and concerts to guys with names I can’t even pronounce.”

 

“You and yeyu can hardly pronounce or spell any word” Lizzie shot back. Grace laughed loudly and had to agree, though she thought it was hilarious the way her aunt Kara and her best friend would get into spelling competitions every Sunday lunch.

 

“Ugh, you’re just like mom” she grumbled mouthful and immediately took another bite of the sandwich she had bought “can’t you be less Luthor and more Danvers sometimes?”

 

“I can see the ham rolling in your mouth, El” Grace commented making a funny face “and it’s disgusting.”

 

“Uh, sorry” her cheeks blushed slightly. Some habits never change, was what Lena used to say.

 

“Hey blondie, scoot!” the loud, familiar voice echoed “hey, Liz, Grace!” Theo greeted both after kissing Ellie’s cheek like he always did “what’s up?”

 

“Bro, move over and stop being so obtruding,” Thomas pushed his brother, squeezing the girls on the other side, making them all life.

 

“Little Luthor there is all alone and you want to sit on top of me, I know that we shared the same placenta but this is too much!” The girls laughed loudly and then Thomas sat next to Lizzie, putting an arm around her and kissing her cheek.

 

“How’s our little genius, did you puke on your presentation today?” He joked and got a smack on the head. He looked up to see Ezra with his arms crossed “what’s up, dude? Heavy hand by the way.”

 

“You messed with Ezra’s girl, bro” Theo shrugged “you don’t mess with other people’s girls.

 

“You’re his girl?” Thomas placed a hand over his chest and pretended to be shocked “I’m feeling so betrayed!”

 

“You thought she was  your  girl?” Grace teased and Ezra laughed, sitting next to his best friend.

 

“No, I thought I was the love of his life, come on man, you’re hurting my feelings” he continued to joke and got a kick under the table.

 

“How was the presentation today?” Ezra could finally focus on Lizzie, reaching her free hand and squeezing it between his “was it alright?”

 

“Yes, the teacher allowed Ellie to be there with me and well, I didn’t throw up or forgot what I was supposed to say” she bit her under lip, a habit she had gotten from observing Kara when she was a little shy or anxious “how was practice today?”

 

“A bit harsh, the coach fully prepared us for the last game before summer break” he confessed and she could see the exhaustion in his dark brown eyes.

 

“But we were invited to Bertinelli’s party,” Thomas said quickly, stealing a few fries from Grace’s plate and getting a smack in return.

 

“You mean we were kindly invited while the prince charming here got an invitation with flowers, chocolate, and a wedding ring” Theo teased, provoking his friend “that girl does not know how to play.”

 

“What girl?” Ellie put her food aside and arched a brow. It was in times like these the Luthor in her blood showed, intimidating and blazing “you mean… Madison Bertinelli?”

 

“On the flesh, bone, and repugnance” he answered.

 

“She personally invited you to the party? Lizzie questioned Ezra and he felt his face burn “are you going?”

 

“I… uh, I don’t know? Well, I t-thought it would be fun, since… er, it’s the end of the semester and we’re all… tired?” he lost himself in the words, nervously stroking his hair and swallowing dry.

 

“Uh, what a mess huh” Grace commented and kicked her brother underneath the table and he didn’t seem to understand what the point of that was, Much less of her desperate gestures to fix that situation.

 

God, boys are so dumb.

 

“I think… I’m heading to the library, I have to study for the literature test at the last period” Lizzie gathered her lunch and belongings and excused herself “I’ll meet you after class, El.”

 

“I thought you had finished studying that” Ezra questioned.

 

“Yeah, you don’t always know everything” she answered a bit rude, not noticing the mess going on in her heart and the turmoil of feeling in her chest was so common and trivial “see you later.”

 

“Yeah dude, you screwed up” Theo sighed as he watched the girl walk out of the cafeteria, losing her in the midst of students, and then took a big bite out of his burger.

 

“You’re an idiot, is this your way of showing you like her?” Grace called out, annoyed, and kicked him again “why didn’t you invite her? Why didn't you say you wanted her to go together and not the acephalous blonde that invited you?”

 

“I… got nervous…” he was honest and Thomas hugged him from the side as if trying to comfort him.

 

“Really Ezra, if you intend to be my brother-in-law one day, you need to work better and faster than that” Ellie pointed out “or you ask my yeyu how she managed to get married to my mom since she’s as slow and lost as you.”

 

“We’re going to help you,” Grace said and looked at Ellie, hoping for a partner. Ellie, of course, agreed.

 

“Ha! I love those girls” Thomas said excitedly “and how is that going to work.”

 

“First, you have to give her space” Ellie explained “this reaction of hers had a name and it’s jealousy. Lizzie only uses that voice when she’s really angry and jealousy does that to her.

 

“I… I really didn’t think she felt that way for me” Ezra sighed a little confused “I really didn’t mean any harm.”

 

“We know, trust me” Grace continued “but now you need to let her breathe, and you’re going to find an amazing and creative way to ask her to be your date to the party. Or at least fix what you’ve done.”

 

“Actually, let me and Grace think about it, you’re not a very creative person for that sort of stuff” Ellie interrupted and turned to Theo “will you be my date to the party?”

 

“Of course, milady” He took Ellie’s hand and kissed it, always pretending to be the perfect gentleman.

 

“Thomas, you’re coming with me” Grace pointed to the other twin, who arched a brow and pretended to be surprised.

 

“Is this how you ask me to be your date?” He continued to dramatized “I’m upset.”

 

“This isn’t a wedding proposal, calm down” she shot back and laughed “Ezra, mom asked us to wait for her outside the football court today, don’t be late, okay?” They got up, break time was almost ending and the students were beginning to head to their classes again.

 

Little by little, the movements and obstructions of passage became common again, with students trying to reach their lockers and get stuff out of it while others just tried to pass by. Thao and Thomas said goodbye alongside Ezra and then Ellie and Grace went to the auditorium, where the scenic and drama teacher was expecting her student’s arrival. Lizzie was probably leaving the library by now, and about to meet her best friend at quantum physics class that they decided to take together. Sure, Lizzie was younger and therefore hadn't learned as much as Ezra, but the teacher would always compliment her persistence and intelligence, though she still hadn’t any senior physics, she did great at the tests and would always surprise people with her cognitive capacity.

 

Though Lizzie loved being next to Ezra for two whole periods, right now she just wanted to avoid him and go home. She wasn’t jealous, she couldn’t be, she repeated it to herself like a mantra while crossing through the ocean of people in the halls. Ezra was her best friend and he had the right, and the freedom, to be invited by any other girl to any stupid party. Shit, Lizzie knew she didn’t want it to happen. And it wasn’t jealousy… not completely, she thought. If she were, to be honest with herself, she was scared of losing him to anyone else. Ever since she was little, her yeyu would tell her how kind and loving little Ezra was to her, even when she was still a baby. Lizzie loved to hear those stories, to know no one else had that connection with him like she did because they grew up together, their mothers went to pregnancy classes together and it all started there. However, the fear of seeing her best friend fall in love and have to share his time with another girl scared her to death, more than usual and normal, because she would be on the sidelines.

 

What Lizzie didn’t realize yet was that, deep down in her confused, jealous heart, she was in love with the sweet and shy basketball player, the same boy who helped her with chemistry homework and took her to get ice cream on Sunday afternoons. The simple panic in knowing he could be like any other girl came from the fact that Lizzie didn’t want anyone to have the same as her. And what if he decided to take another girl to the ice cream shop and forget that her, his best friend, was the one who used to be there? What if Ezra wanted to invite his future girlfriend to museums or watch weird documentaries with her? What would Lizzie do and how would she feel if she saw another girl was slowly taking her place in the life of someone who was one of the most important people to her?

 

Miserable, that was the word to describe her spirit if Ezra ever fell in love.

 

While Lizzie dealt and fought with her little hurricane of feelings inside her heart, Ellie watched Grace change in the auditorium locker. She had already changed and gathered her belongings, but her friend seemed slower than usual, she was quieter and spacier too. The normal way for the long-haired girl to never shut or be slow, and much less unfocused. Ellie always tried to avoid making any person talk about their feelings, moreover. She was known for being patient and sweet, and she understood that not all people were able to keep up with her never-ending good mood. Kara was the one who explained that to her, on a weird rainy day, when she and Alex got into a fight. It was scary and a bit despairing to see them raise their voices against each other, breathing hard not to lose composure and end up saying things they didn’t mean to. Ellie didn’t understand why, to her, her aunt and her yeyu were always best friends and were big confidants of one another. On that very same day, when they got home, Ellie heard her mom ask her yeyu to explain what had happened and reassured her everything was going to be okay.

 

Kara then sat down with both daughters, feeling guilty and upset with herself as she noticed she had made a mistake. With kind and few words, she explained that she and Alex weren’t on the same page every time and that it was normal for sisters to fight. She used the example of when Lizzie would ask Ellie to stop playing because she didn’t want anymore and didn’t feel like it anymore but Ellie would insist up to the point one of them was crying. Kara always quoted times when she and Lena got into arguments because they were tired or were wanting and thinking different things. And all of that was normal, it was okay. They would never stop loving each other, taking care, and trying to understand one another. It was one of the things Kara loved about being a journalist: to see all sides of a situation and problem. Still, on the same topic, Kara said it was hard for other people to keep up with her good mood and optimism, most times what people want to hear isn’t a motivational speech and a ‘think positive, everything is going to work out.’ No, sometimes people just want to be heard and want to be allowed to feel miserable about it, to feel the pain, the despair, and also the sadness.

 

Something she wanted to teach her daughters was that it was okay to feel sad, angry, scared and all the other feelings people used to say were negative and that they were not supposed to feel.

 

It was okay.

 

From that precious lesson, Ellie understood that her best friend, no matter how kind, fun, and happy she was, would also have her low points. So she didn’t force her to say anything she didn’t want to, just offering help and support. But right there, watching her put on the theater club uniform and sigh heavily, Ellie couldn’t wait for the appropriate time, that was going to consume her from the inside out. And by ‘that’ she meant: curiosity.

 

“Grace, are you okay?” Ellie’s voice echoed calm and sweet, grabbing her attention instantly “you… you’re so quiet…”

 

“I’m sorry” the metallic sound of her locker closing broke the silence “I just… it’s nothing serious, never mind.”

 

“No, don’t do that” she got up quickly and reached her friend’s hand “tell me what’s going on, you’re never quite like that and when you do it’s because something’s wrong. I know you like I know myself” she smiled and sat her down.

 

Grace sighed nervously, stroking her hair and averting her eyes for a few seconds.

 

“Okay, it’s about this new play,” she looked away. “I got the detective part…”

 

“But that’s great! That's the lead!” Ellie exclaimed, proud.

 

“Yeah… I know, but… did you read the whole script? Not just your part?” Ellie shook her head “my character falls in love and… has to kiss her love interest.

 

“Who is?”

 

“Jordan Spiked” she sighed, a bit disgusted.

 

“Oh… Grace, I…” Ellie interrupted herself before continuing because her brain had gotten really confused for a second “wait, is it because it’s him… is that the problem? Or… I’m a little lost here and…”

 

“Ellie, breathe” Grace held her hands and laughed “the problem isn’t that it’s him, it’s that… I’ve never kissed anyone before and what if… what if he notices it and tells everyone, I can’t just let that happen, I have to survive for a whole other year and a half in this school and…”

 

“Wow! Let’s slow down, you’re sounding like my yeyu when you look at her for too long” Ellie smiled and got closer “and that’s not true, you kissed…”

 

“No!” Grace raised her hand and breathed in, trying not to remember that. God, that was embarrassing “don’t dare make me think about… that day…”

 

“Well… I thought she was a good kisser, but apparently, she had the shape of…”

 

“Ellie Luthor Zor-El… I swear to Rao…” they laughed and then Ellie pulled her in for a tight hug. It felt nice not to have secrets, not to hide and be able to simply hear her full name slip out of someone’s mouth, someone she loved. When her mother talked to her about keeping her real origin a secret, she also said it was important to have someone to tell and trust. Lena explained they could choose someone they trusted and then tell the truth.

 

Lizzie picked Ezra and Ellie chose Grace, but Theo and Thomas ended up knowing too because they couldn’t just ignore the funniest, most amazing twins in the world.

 

“What am I going to do?” Grace asked, the anxiety coming back slowly, bringing despair as her guest.

 

“I have an idea” her green eyes glowed but Grace was hesitant.

 

“Why do I feel I’m not going to like it?” she crossed her arms.

 

“You’re offending me now!” she faked and rolled her eyes “you need to practice, you need to kiss someone and since I know you’re not into boys, you just have to kiss a girl.”

 

“I don’t know if you noticed, but in order for me to kiss a girl… I have to find one first?” she stated the obvious.

 

However, something about the way Ellie didn’t even hesitate in smiling made her choke on air.

 

“And what am I? An alien?” she teased.

 

“Do you want me to be nice or honest?”

 

“Ugh! Grace!” she laughed but then sighed, the reality of that moment hitting her hard “I just want to help you, I know I don’t have a lot of experience either, but then we’ll help each other.”

 

“Help? We’re going to kiss and then what? I can’t…. I can’t kiss you, El!” heavens, that was an insane idea “you’re my best friend.”

 

“And you’re mine and I don’t mind kissing you, it will help your performance on the play and we’re not going to be doing it as girlfriends, just as… as a test” she tried to argue and Grace seemed to consider it for a second.

 

“Nope, I can't.” Grace got up and began to walk left and right, then stopping to tie her hair up in a ponytail. Something inside her was screaming, fighting, and wanted to give in. Because that wasn’t just any person. It was Ellie.

 

Her best friend.

 

The person who knew her better than anyone.

 

And the one she was terrible and desperately in love with.

 

Fuck.

 

Why did life have to make her fall for that ridiculous, overused cliche? Or course she was going to fall in love with her best friend, the cherry on top of to make her life a living hell and complete mess. As if being a girl and a teen wasn’t already hard enough. Okay, but now was the time to focus and say with all the words, firmly and definitively that she couldn’t do it, she wouldn’t take in the offer because it was too much. She could find another girl, maybe one from the club even could understand and say yes, it wouldn’t be that complicated. Grace could lie too or come up with any lousy excuse to make Ellie drop wanting to practice something that would mean a lot more to her. 

 

But when Grace opened her mouth to say no, her own heart betrayed her.

 

“Okay, I’m in.”

 

“Wahoo! That’s the spirit” Ellie cheered and checked the time “we have about ten minutes before the teacher notices we’re not there. Come one, sit down and we’ll start lesson number one.

 

Grace felt her limbs weaken and she was pretty sure her stomach had just turned upside down, or that it was just melting inside her.

 

Damn it, why did she have to be so gay?

 

“Grace?”

 

“O-okay…” she scoffed “b-but… does it have to be now?” of all the way she had pictured her death, she never thought it was going to be like that.

 

“Come on!” Ellie insisted. Okay, she could do it. She sure could.

 

Grace sat on the bench again, one leg on each side, just like the girl in front of her. Her hands were sweating and she couldn’t lie, maybe she was about to have a heart attack. Ellie, opposite to her friend, seemed more excited than nervous and certainly could see nothing wrong with the absurd idea she had come up with. And then, sliding her body on her bench, the two of them got so close they were breathing each other's air, her breaths were mixing and both noticed how intense and hot the atmosphere became. Ellie slid her hands up her bare arms, feeling the cold skin underneath her fingers, and continued to trace it up to her shoulders, her lower neck, and then her jawline. Grace lost her ability to think completely and closed her eyes as she felt the warm hands hold her face with such gentleness and care. She knew her friend had superhuman strength, like Supergirl and she was still surprised by Ellie’s self-control.

 

One that was beyond her.

 

“Is this okay?” Ellie whispered, her voice hoarse and trembling.

 

“Hm...”

 

And then, shortening the minimum distance, even more, Ellie brought her lips up to her friend’s, unsure of what she was supposed to do or how far she should go. They stayed still, eyes closed, Ellie could hear Grace’s heart beating fast and desperate, which worried her a little, maybe she was regretting it. But then, Grace relaxed and slid her hands to her neck, tracing the exposed skin and stroking her jaw gently. The kiss didn’t get any deeper until Ellie explained what she was going to do next.

 

“I… I need you to open your lips and let… uh, let me show you” Ellie asked with a shaky voice, almost impossible to be heard. Grace nodded, unable to say or pronounce any intelligible word.

 

They breathed in and Ellie closed the gap again while Grace pulled her closer, grabbing the blonde hair lightly. As she slightly opened her mouth, she felt the firm and warm tongue trace a line on her lower lip, as if quietly asking for permission. And she deliberately conceded it, unable to deny anything there. Her tastes meet, sweet with citric, hot and warm and Grace thought of all the times she wanted to do that with Ellie. It was wrong, she knew that she might lose her friendship, but she couldn’t stop the feeling from growing gradually every time Ellie smiled, laughed, or told any of her stupid jokes. She knew every corner of her heart, she had it memorized, all her habits and preferences.

 

And she loved every aspect of it, even though her best friend was never going to love her the same way.

 

Grace still remembered all the times Ellie told her she was in love with some boy or attracted to some girl. To her, bisexuality was always normal, she never had to discuss it or come out, however, the youngest Luthor heir never allowed herself to date or take the next step with a girl. It was a crucial point that Ellie never explained. Grace knew her friend had tried to date one of the boys on the swimming team, and she had kissed one or two throughout high school, she wasn’t exactly a player and only got involved when she felt it was right. However, there had been a girl and Ellie never explained why, even though she liked her, she had never given her a chance. It was like something was stopping her, a strong, unbreakable barrier.

 

The bell rang again, loud and clear, pulling the girls away from the bubble they had been in for a couple of minutes. They were both breathless, her lips were red and hearts were racing. They got up, took their things, and ran back to the auditorium, never bringing up the kiss or the chaos of feelings they were going through.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“You’re late.”

 

Kara felt her cheeks turn red when the woman simply ignored her, got down from one of the gym apparatus, and kept walking as if she wasn’t even there. Rao, she was in so much trouble.

 

“I… uh, I had a thing at the DEO” Kara whispered that last part, checking to see if no one heard it.

 

“After fifteen years with me, you’re going to use that excuse?” Lena arched a brow and took a long sip of freezing water “You were with Nia.”

 

“I… How do you know that?” Kara followed her wife to another apparatus, where she sat on it and put her things on her side.

 

“Kara, I own the company you work for, I know everything that goes in there, and, please, if you’re not going to help me then go back to whatever you were doing before this” she sighed without an ounce of patience. She didn’t understand why she had to insist so much to Kara to be there with her at the daily exercising at least once a week. It wasn’t for the exercising itself, because Kara didn’t need that, but just for the company.

 

“Lena, I’m sorry” Kara sighed, averting her eyes to a man about to approach them, also carrying a bottle of water and a face towel “I’m going to…”

 

“Hey, Lena, how are we feeling this morning?” the man asked with a movie star smile, making Kara intrigued and bothered by the intimacy. Why was he calling her by her first name?

 

“A bit tired from having a meeting first thing, but fine” Lena answered politely “what about you? Have you lifted that 330-pound weight to your shoulders yet?”

 

Kara crossed her arms, suddenly very interested in that interaction. So, that unknown man probably knew her wife was L-Corp’s CEO and would lift weights in front of her to call her attention and would wear that smile as if Lena was single? Rao, it couldn’t be possible. Well, she thought to herself Lena must have mentioned she is married and her two teenage daughters at least once and that, by the way, it was almost a fifteen-year marriage. However, Kara could only picture Lena watching him flexing his muscles and perhaps feeling tempted to touch them. Rao, she couldn’t think that, Lena loved her muscles, not the ones from random people that smiled like a Brad Pitt gym.

 

Damn it.

 

“Oh, the usual” he scratched his neck, a bit embarrassed by her sentence, “I think we’re being a bit impolite, introduce me to your friend.”

 

Friend.

 

You had to be kidding. Friend?

 

“Oh, yes, this is Kara, and Kara, this is my friend Ryan” Lena introduced and maybe Kara shook his hand a little too hard on purpose “we’re always here at the same time, at least we have each other’s company

 

“Oh, always,” Kara scoffed. Fuck, this is all your fault, she complained to herself silently “good for your, uh… that you’re not alone…”

 

“Ryan broke a weightlifting record so he keeps practicing to beat it again” Lena explained with a smile and the man smiled in return “I can’t wait for it to happen.”

 

“Lena, don’t have too many expectations” Ryan brushed off and looked over to Kara “but that wasn’t the reason I came here today, I wanted to invite you to that Caffe today, in the afternoon and we can finish the conversation we began last week if you’re not too busy being National City’s best CEO today.”

 

And this time Lena blushed.

 

“Is 4:30 good for you?” she asked, completely ignoring her wife, who was about to explode right there.

 

“Totally, I’ll see you later and Kara, it was nice to meet you” he smiled politely and walked out.

 

“Are you going to just stand there or are you going to do something?” Lena turned to Kara again, going back to choosing the right weight for that apparatus “the spinning class is in ten minutes I need to finish off here.

 

“I’m coming with you” Kara suddenly answered, her voice far from the usual sweet and innocent tone.

 

“To the spinning class?” Lena questioned, confused, though she knew very well her wife was jealous of Ryan “well, you can sit there and wait” she pointed at the benches.

 

“To that Caffe,” she said firmly. Lena could be as stubborn as possible, pretending she didn’t care, but Kara could see the reason behind all the scenes. “Did you just let him think I’m your friend?”

 

“Aren’t you?” she shot back looking at her. The crystal green staring at the intense blue “I thought that besides being married, we were friends. Though the married part would be better if you remember important dates.”

 

“So this is about last year?” Kara asked in disbelief. Of course, Lena wouldn’t let her forget when she mistook the anniversary with her birthday the year before. It wasn’t her fault, she was so tired and lost and there were so many attacks happening all around she didn’t ratiocinate “I’ve already apologized for it.”

 

“I know, I’m just preparing myself for this year” she clenched her jaw “that if you do remember” she grumbled quietly, well aware Kara could hear her “you don’t have to come to this cafe, you’re not going to like the talk and maybe the DEO is going to need you.”

 

“I told you I’m going and that’s the end of it” they stared at each other, the tension in the air. Suddenly, a loud siren went by the building and of course, Kara turned to the sound before turning at her wife again “I have to go, I’ll meet you at 4:30 at Noonan’s.”

 

Lena didn’t have the chance to answer or even contest that decision, after all, she and Ryan weren’t meeting at Noonan's, but at a Caffe nearer L-Corp. But she couldn’t say no to that woman whom she loved and was annoyed by so much. Lena followed through the schedule that day up until the same she had to go back for another meeting with Sam, spending most of her time silent and wonderous. She didn’t want to be so harsh to Kara when it came to important dates, but she feared that after so long together, that love, care, and excitement from being married, would decrease little by little as if the fire would go out suddenly. Lena didn’t want that for them, she didn’t want that after everything they had been through, their marriage was just that: routine. She could see how Kara was already a little distant, they didn’t have as much alone time anymore and kept postponing a trip to Midvale. Alex already knew Lizzie and Ellie would be under her watch during the weekend, but Kara had to go help Barry on another Earth again.

 

“Nia, change of plans,” Supergirl said as she landed on top of a building a bit far from the city “I’m going to need it by Wednesday.”

 

“I’ll do my best, don’t worry!”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“Suzie!” a high-pitched voice called out from afar, getting the two Danvers-Arias, leaving the school, attention. They stopped before getting in the car and looked at the girl who called “Hey, I… I just wanted to thank you for today” the girl said shyly, and didn’t dare to look at Alex “and I wanted to invite you to my party this weekend, it isn’t going to be anything special, but I wanted… uh, I wanted you to go.”

 

“You live in a mansion, your ‘not special’ definitely involved rich people’s bad food” Suzie grumbled and got a smack from her mother.

 

“Suzie!” Alex said in between teeth, trying not to laugh at the dry honesty “be nice.”

 

“Thank you, but I don’t know if it’s my kind of party” Suzie was even more honest but as the girl’s eyes looked disappointed, she couldn’t help but groan at herself “I… I’ll try to be there and I’ll let you know, okay?”

 

“Okay, you can bring your friends too” she commented “see you tomorrow!” she said her quick goodbye and smiled at Alex, running back to her mother waiting for her in the car.

 

As soon as they were alone, they turned back to the car and then made their way home. During the twenty-minute way, Alex wondered silently about her daughter’s reactions, trying to contain her smile. Suzie was always a smart girl, of few words and a bit too sincere, sometimes coming off as rude, but she wasn’t rude. Throughout those fourteen years, Alex had learned how to be more patient, to listen, to understand, and try to see them from the side of someone who was going through one of the most complex phases in life. However, Suzie did not let things go easily, though she never got into too much trouble with anyone. On the contrary, Suzie was that type of rebel teen that had a sense of what was extreme and had limits to her actions. When she came home one day and told her mothers she wanted to be in a band, Sam and Alex thought it was a fun idea, but the girl put effort into the rehearsals with the boys in the garage. The band was made of two boys and her, who played the bass and the electric guitar sometimes.

 

Another thing that set her apart from the other kids her age was her maturity and the way she dressed, talked, and had her way around everything. Suzie was literally a version of her mother Alex when she was sixteen and both her aunt Kara and yeyu Sam said she could as well be her aunt Lutessas’s daughter. Which led to the infinite commentary of how a baby from two unbearable people like Alex and Lena would be like.

 

“Who was that girl?” Alex asked as they walked into the house “I thought you hated the kids at your school.”

 

“I do, especially the girls that are in the heat but can’t even explain what a period is” Suzie answered in the same usual tone. Sam, who was finishing making some sandwiches in the kitchen, turned around to listen to that conversation “but some boys were picking on her at lunch break last week. I didn’t know who she was, but I didn’t think it was nice. So I went there and I almost hit them.” Sam and Alex turned to her fast and there was panic in their eyes “I said almost, see?”

 

“What exactly were they doing?” Sam asked a bit more attentively to the matter.

 

“I don’t know, I got there and everyone was laughing as she looked… frightened, apparently the boys were making jokes at her clothes, assholes” Suzie felt her blood boil and instantly closed her hand on a fist “I know that she’s all cocky and popular, and bla, bla bla, she wants to look older by wearing shorter clothes but that doesn’t give anyone the right to say mean and disgusting things.”

 

“Well, you’re right about that and you did well, but please…”

 

“Don’t hit anyone, I know!” stubbornly and tired of getting the same orders, Suzie threw herself onto the couch and sighed. The invite for the party was still in her hand and the question of attending or not, in her head “Her name is Charlotte and everyone calls her Cher.”

 

Alex laughed and almost choked on the water she had just poured.

 

“Cher, like… like Cher from that movie Clueless?” she questioned, still coughing from laughter, while her wife looked at her, missing the joke and Suzie laughed loudly too.

 

God, they really were mother and daughter.

 

“Yes! It’s such a cliche, mom!” Suzie agreed, almost screaming, muffling her voice on a pillow “who, in their right mind, would name their daughter after a character as shallow as the one from that movie? For Rao’s sake!”

 

“Hey, you’re talking about this Charlotte girl” Sam intervened “well if she isn’t anyone important, why the sudden subject?”

 

“Well, she invited our Little Reign to her end-of-semester party, but apparently Suzie isn’t going” Alex shrugged “right, kid?”

 

“Right!” she answered from the living room.

 

“I’m going to take a shower, okay?” she kissed Sam on the lips and smiled “I’ll be right back.”

 

As she walked away, Sam couldn’t help but notice her daughter was still looking at the invite and making funny faces. Yes, of course, Suzie was never the type of girl that went to parties of any sort, she was more of a house gal, enjoying a pizza night with her bandmates and walks in the park with her cousins, even if she was there just to annoy them. Even the beach didn’t please her a lot and she’s spent her days in Midvale under an umbrella, listening to music and laughing about how Kara and her mom behaved like children when together. However, Sam knew her well, better than herself and she was basically capable of reading her mind. Though she was a lot like Reign when it came to how she showed herself, Suzie had Alex’s sweet and calm heart, always scared of showing she wasn’t as tough on the inside as she was on the outside.

 

So, leaving the sandwiches well protected and taking the apron off, Sam circled the kitchen table and went straight to the living room where the girl was lying on the floor, feet up and backpack on the floor. Sam had complained on and on about how she didn't like those torn pants on the knees, but it was no use. Suzie had Alex’s brown eyes and wavy hair, her shy smile, and pinkish cheeks. She was a replica and a perfect mix of them

 

“You want to go to this party, don’t you?” Sam’s sweet voice hit her like a warm breeze, making her look up and stare at her.

 

“I… I don’t know, yeyu” she sighed “I mean she’s all girlie and a bit superficial, I mean… she’s supposed to be, you know? I mean… superficial” she explained confused “but after I helped her, we started talking more and more and she would look for me during break time and I… I never thought she was going to want me to be her friend. Look at me and look at her!” she carried on fast, leaving Sam a little stunned by her monologue “turns out she’s really cool, you know? She knows a lot about books and songs and even knows some I’m into. I didn’t… I don’t want to say no to the invite, but I also don’t want people to think I’ve changed because of her...”

 

“You don’t need to care about what other people think, baby” Sam pulled her closer, holding her in a warm embrace. “Life isn’t like a movie, where the popular girls don’t mix, and they’re futile and only care about their looks. Human beings are far more complex and who knows, maybe you’ll continue to be surprised by her if you allow yourself to be her friend.”

 

“You really think so?” She questioned hesitantly still, getting comfier in her arms “I liked her…”

 

“Hm, like her?” Sam used her best smirk to tease her daughter and watched as she brushed like a red tomato.

 

“Ew, no! Yeyu!” they laughed “I don’t like her like that, okay? I’ve only known her for a week, who falls in love in only one week?”

 

“Your aunt Lutessa” Alex answered coming back from the hallway, wearing a white towel over her white hair and comfortable clothes “never doubt a woman’s power of falling in love in less than a week.”

 

Alex sat down next to her wife and looked at the happy to finally have the family reunited at the end of the day - something that became rare since she took over the DEO and some problems began to hit National City, demanding the director and both Reign and Supergirl - and just get to have dinner like normal people.

 

Only Ruby isn’t here, she thought to herself. And then they heard a knock on the door. They weren’t expecting anyone, neither Lena nor Kara had said anything about a visit. And Winn was at a party with Eve, James probably still at work. So who could it be?

 

“I’ll get it” Alex heard Reign’s hoarse, almost metallic voice, noticing Sam’s eyes were now red and her face looked harsh.

 

“No, stay here with Suzie,” Alex asked, touching her shoulder “it’s probably some neighbor.”

 

Reign nodded and let Suzie sit next to her and hold her hand. Alex took off the towel quickly, fixing her hair with her hand, and walked firmly to the door, unlocking it and then…

 

“Ruby?”

 

The girl smiled shyly, the same dimples on her face, the same brown eyes. A woman, but still her girl.

 

“Hey, mom…”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

A little earlier that day, Lena enjoyed the fact that Jess had left her schedule for the week completely organized and ready and finally smiled proudly for having dealt with one of the deal contracts before the time she had settled with Ryan. Ever since Lizzie’s birth and Ellie’s arrival, Lena had to learn to balance various appointments at once, knowing the time to leave, to stop, and also to ask for help. Luckily for her, Kara was literally her safe harbor, her fortress, and was always ready to cooperate and do what she did best: to save the world. And in that sense, her world was three amazing girls. Sure, Sam also was the person who made her think straight and kept her from breaking down. They still remembered when the girls were only nine, both finals week, all desperate and tired, not wanting to study anymore, or finish their homework and refusing to eat anything that wasn’t pizza or ice cream. It was on those days Lena would go to bed thinking she was failing everything, her corporation, her daughters, and also her wife.

 

However, Kara never let her think like that for long. She would let her wife breathe, cry and put all the angst and exhaustion consuming her out. They would make their way to the bed, put on comfortable pajamas, and Kara would remind her, detail by detail, of the reasons why she was the strongest, bravest, and more fearless woman in that universe. Bad days are always going to exist, days when you don’t want to get out of bed, nor see the world outside and you just feel like everything is wrong. But the truth is that bad days can’t dictate the good ones, neither can take away their value, on the contrary. Bad days exist because everyone can feel weak, vulnerable, tired, and sad. It’s just your nature telling you: ‘hey, you don’t need to be strong and happy all the time, allow yourself to fall and stay on the ground’. Bad days exist to remind you you’re human and that there’s nothing wrong in allowing yourself to feel.

 

Lena left her desk clean before leaving and told Jess she could go home earlier, even though it was Monday, walking into the elevator and heading to the private parking lot.

 

“Ryan, always on time” Lena greeted briefly, shaking his hand and thanked the waiter handing her the menu “and you are?” she turned to the lady next to him, somewhat physically similar to him. Her eyes were intense brown, hair blonde like gold, and lips painted in dark Bordeaux.

 

“Oh, sorry, this is my sister Gillian.” Ryan introduced her with a smile and she did the same and Lena reached out to shake her hand, but the woman held it gently and kissed her knuckles delicately. Lena felt her face heat up quickly and pulled her hand back, a bit embarrassed by the action “Gilian, this is Lena Luthor.”

 

“Nice to meet you,” Gillian said politely, never looking away from her.

 

“I didn’t know you had a sister” Lena tried to come up with some subject fast. God, where was Kara in times like these? “Do you work together?”

 

“Actually, I manage our branch in Madrid,” Gilian smiled and looked at her brother. “I’m just passing by to get to know the wonders of this unusual city, which apparently has a woman who calls herself a hero and goes around in a costume.”

 

With that brief comment, Lena clenched her jaw and controlled herself not to snap at her.

 

“Supergirl is an honorable hero, Gil” Ryan defended, making Lena a bit more calmer without even realizing it, after all, he didn’t even know Lena was married, much less to Supergirl herself “give her more credit.”

 

“If she gives me some time with her, I can definitely change my mind” she teased, smirking. It was only going to be harder to be there, Lena thought to herself “but let’s focus on what we have here, Lena, right?” she nodded, moving away from her thoughts “you could show me around town, I’m sure there are other beautiful things, besides you.”

 

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

 

Great, that was all she needed.

 

“Easy there, tiger, easy” Ryan placed his hand on his sister’s shoulders “I know you’ve just broken up with the french girl, but me and Jordan are taking you to a new restaurant tonight, don’t forget it.”

 

Well, that was interesting. Lena knew very well that Ryan was gay, that’s why she didn’t take her wife’s jealousy seriously. She just wanted to see the look on Kara’s face when she figured it out. However, Gillian was also gay, or lesbian, and that fact was a huge problem. Because in Ryan’s mind, who always ran to her at the gym, when Lena was never wearing her ring because she was scared of losing or damaging it, Lena was single. Sure, they had gone out for coffee once or twice but it wasn’t enough for him to realize that she was in fact married for over fourteen years and had two daughters. Ryan was new in National City and had just come from Europe, being really out of touch with ‘big influencers’ news, losing some of CatCo Magazine pictures where Lena and Kara were at dinners together, posing as a couple and being bestowed by the people who admired them.

 

Or to shorten it, that had just become a mess.

 

“Well, Lena you could be my pair” she turned to her and winked "and then we can enjoy the rest of the evening. I heard National City has great pubs.”

 

But she didn’t answer, her eyes were focused in a spot behind the siblings.

 

“Lena? Is everything okay?” Ryan touched her hand and turned around, realizing that she was actually watching the news on the small tv on the wall. Supergirl was fighting three men, one of which was clearly alien.

 

And Lena had studied that species before and she knew he could hurt Kara.

 

“Oh, there’s our hero,” Gillian said as she turned around “it looks like she’s in trouble.”

 

“I have to go, I’m sorry, Ryan” in a hurry, Lena took her purse and coat on the table again “we can schedule coffee for another time, I just remembered I have to pick Lizzie and Ellie up at school” she used the first excuse that came to mind “and Gillian, I’m sorry, I’m married and have two daughters. I think you’re going to have to find somebody else. Someone available.”

 

While she was running out of the cafe, she could hear Gilian complain to Ryan about not telling her that she was married and the brother defending himself saying he didn’t know either. Lena didn’t really mind when that happened, it was fun to see people try to conquer her, precisely because there wasn’t and there was never going to be another person in the world - or any other Earth - that would make her quit on her family, on her wife Kara Danvers. There were times when they both had fun, pretending not to know each other at parties, or when Alex invited them to an alien bar, it was a private joke, a laidback moment. It was like coming back to the start when everything was overcomplicated, painful to the point of making them both cowards, scared of losing each other over simple mistakes. And now, almost seventeen years after receiving that blonde, shy reporter in a pink skirt and cute sweater in her office, Lena knew for sure she had found the only person her heart was always going to belong to.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 


When the last bell rang through the halls, the crowd of students got together and the sound of voices and laughter filled all corners of those walls. Classes were over for that day, they could finally go home and continue their countdown to the last day of school. Summer vacation equaled true happiness for everyone there. Well, maybe happiness isn't the right word to describe the kryptonian sisters' mood, who were pretty frustrated and worried about the future of their friendships. Lizzie hadn’t talked to Ezra yet, because she couldn’t make sense of that turmoil of feelings inside her young heart and the idea of having to deal with something so grand and intense without any previous experience could be quite damaging to the soul. While she dreaded guilt for acting in such a childish and explosive way, Ellie was quiet. And that fact alone was enough to show that she was dealing with some problem.

And that problem had a name: Grace.

After rehearsals for the play, Grace excused herself to go study alone and the truth was she had never said an excuse so weirdly ridiculous to get away. Ellie knew her very well, she could look into her eyes and read the fear, the sadness, and all the other feelings that screamed at her how upset her friend was. Her first thought was about the kiss if she had crossed some line inside the friendship if Grace hated her now or anything of the sort. However, while she blamed and martyred herself, her stomach was filled with butterflies as she remembered the kiss, the way her hands went up to her arms slowly and her hands grabbed her hair. Rao, why did she follow through with that idea? Ellie had never felt this way before, she never felt as if she was missing something as if she had finally found a part of herself, or her heart, and then had lost it again. Ellie didn’t know what that was and barely understood the complexity of her own heart.

The Luthor-Danvers sisters left the school, saying goodbye to a couple of friends, and quickly spotted Frank, the driver, waiting for them. Which was a little weird, since their mother had said she was going to pick them up.

“Frank?” Lizzie called out the man, distracted by the music playing.

“Ms. Luthor-Danvers” he smiled politely and the old age was even more visible with the motion “please, get in. Mrs. Danvers ordered me to pick you two up and said you could choose to go home or your aunt Alex’s home.”

Ellie turned to her sister, her eyes screaming more than a thousand words.

Something had happened.

“We’re going home, Frank.”

On the way there, they held hands. A habit of when they were scared, confused, or simply aerial. It was almost like an involuntary motion, not even the girls understood it, but they didn’t mind it. Kara and Lena found it extremely interesting and recomforting that her girls shared a connection that went beyond blood because they could watch them grow together, they witness every aspect of that friendship blossom and, only by that, they had enough sureness to say that Lizzie and Ellie shared more than just genes, more than two mothers and a family. They shared a soul and loved it with two hearts. Of course, they were moments of arguments and fights, when you’re half Luthor and half Super, anything can happen and that child was doomed to be stubborn and strong-minded, in a way even more exhausting to deal with and comprehend. But at the end of the day, everything always worked out.

As soon as the car park, they ran outside and got into the living room, to find Lena with a little difficulty while carrying Supergirl through the hallway. Her long blonde hair, not stained with dirt, fell on her bruised face, her chest going up and down slowly and one of her arms firmly placed around her wife’s neck, resting on her shoulders. Ellie wanted to help, just like her sister, but as soon as they saw the huge cut on her year's right thigh, with a crust of dry blood on the top of it, the froze in place. It wasn’t the first time they witnessed that situation, having a mother with a dangerous and risky job like hers would certainly come with moments like that. But it was still scary every time.

“Lizzie, Ellie” Lena called, worried and attentive to their reaction “babies, everything is fine, okay? Your yeyu is fine, she just needs to recover like last time.”

“S-she… her legs” Lizzie stuttered and pointed at the swollen and purplish limb.

“It’s okay, is’kah” Kara answered, sighing and groaning in pain as she tried to stand up “it’s… ugh, it’s already healing, I… ugh, Lena I need…”

“I know, darling” Lena was doing her best to carry her body “can you help me? Or would you rather wait in the kitchen?” she asked, snapping the girls out of their heads “I have to take her to the bathroom.”

“I…I’ll help” Ellie promptly said, dropping her bag on the floor and going to get Supergirl on the other side, fully relieving the weight for Lena. Lizzie did the same.

“You think you can do this alone?” She allowed the girls to hold the hero since both had super strength. They agreed with a nod “okay, go up carefully, it’s better to levitate over the stairs, okay? I’ll go in the front” she announced and ran upstairs.

“Hm, right” Lizzie murmured “is it okay if I hold here, yeyu? Does it hurt?”

“Ugh, a little, but it will pass” Kara grumbled, squeezing her eyes and clenching her jaw to not let out a groan again “your mom is going to know what to do.”

And so, the three kryptonians headed to the bathroom, Lizzie let her mother cling on to her uniform shirt, while her other arm was firmly attached to Ellie’s waist. As they got there, Lena was already waiting for them, barefoot with her sleeves up to her elbow, her hair tied up and hot water streaming down the shower, fogging the glass. Supergirl was handed away, now following her wife to the shower. Lena asked her daughter to put on the yellow lights and call Alex, to tell her Kara was hurt, but she was home and being taken care of. Not that Alex didn’t trust her sister in law, on the contrary, Lena knew her well and knew she would worry herself to the bone until she got any news on her younger sister.

“Can you stand up for a second?” Lena asked tenderly with a smile. Kara nodded, leaning her hands on her shoulders and focusing on her clear green eyes. She always thought they were marvelous and of incomparable beauty “what?” Lena noticed Kara’s look on her while taking her off of the blue and red suit.

“Uh, your eyes” Kara answered with a shy smile “I love the way they change colors.”

Lena blushed hard at the unforeseen compliment 

“Are we affectionate, today?” she teased “raised your foot, like that. I’m going to need you to let me clean this, okay?” she nodded, still clinging on to her body and then getting under the water.

“I… I don’t like to put them through this, to scare them like this” Kara complained, groaning in pain. The bad part of facing enemies that could hurt her somehow or require too much energy is that her powers would run out and then she would have to ‘recharge’ under the lamps “I… I don’t…”

“Shh, don’t say that Kara” Lena placed a finger on her trembling lips “Lizzie and Ellie understand how dangerous your job is, there’s a bad side, but you’re not traumatizing them.”

“H-how can you be so sure?” there was doubt and grief in her voice “how… How can you know I’m not hurting them? Hurting you?”

And there it was, her insecurity resurfacing like the monster it was. The anxiety climbing up her throat. Lena understood it, more than that: she felt the same. Years had passed since the coma, since the day they almost lost each other for good. Over time, they continued to count on J’onn’s help to assist Kara with her dreams and past. While Lena faithfully went to see a therapist, working on her traumas, fears, and anguishes. However, there were moments when one of them would doubt everything, question existence itself, and end up saying untrue things.

“My love, you’re exhausted and you need to rest.” Lena held her face, reddened by the effort and tiredness, the face of the woman she loved the most “Lizzie and Ellie love you unconditionally and they have the best mother in the world. They see themselves in you, just like I do.”

“I love you so much, Lena,” she sighed, letting the tears fall. “I really do love you.”

“I love you too and I’m here forever, okay?” blue met green and their lips smiled, Kara let her head fall on her hands.

After cleaning the cut and making sure everything was well-taken care of and Kara didn’t have any other deep bruises, Lena helped her get dressed and then laid her on the bed, where the yellow lights were already on. Kara quickly relaxed, letting every heat particle coming from the light fill her alien cells fully. It would take a while for her to recover, but there was nothing like having two girls lying beside her and hugging her possessively. Lizzie and Ellie had rushed into their room, changed clothes, and went right back to their yeyu’s side, using that situation to lay with her and spoil her as she deserved. Lena rolled her eyes at that ridiculously cute sight, going back to the closet to change clothes, and then joined them in the part where the lamplight couldn’t reach. She didn’t want any burns or blisters.

“Hmm, I like this,” Lena mumbled with a smile, looking for her wife’s hand and feeling Ellie hug her “how was school today?”

“Good.”

“Okay.”

Lena and Kara exchange curious and highly suspicious looks, of course.

“Why do I feel like you two are lying?” Kara questioned.

“Because they’re just as bad as lying as you, darling” Lena witty pointed out with a smile and a teasing wink “do you want to talk about it?” She went back to the subject.
    
“You first!” Lizzie quickly said, pointing at Ellie, who gasped and grimaced at her.

“I don’t know… uh, how to tell it and don’t… don’t even know if I want to” Ellie stuttered nervously, hiding her face in her yeyu’s shoulder “I think I fucked up.”

“Baby, look at me” Lena touched her arm slightly and her eyes, as green as hers, raised from the hero’s skin “if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay. But know we’re here to help you with whatever you need, okay?”

“Come here so I can see you better, this is great but I’d rather see your face, is’kah,” Kara asked, groaning a little when Ellie moved up and jumped to the middle of the bed, pushing her sister closer to their other mom “like that, now, do you want to talk?”

“Uh… I, er… it’s a stupid thing, but I think… I think it means something” she explained confused, leaving everyone there completely lost “Grace and I, we… uh, kissed today” she finally revealed. Lena turned to her wife, who frowned, and then Lizzie reacted.

“You what?” she almost screamed, sitting up fast and hitting her head on one of the lamps “ouch!”

“I was going to tell you, but you were upset too and I didn’t want to worry you, even more, don’t be mad at me!” Ellie defended herself fast and sighed, feeling her mothers’ eyes on her “it was supposed to be just a test for the theater club, Grace in the lead and she… she’s going to have to kiss a boy, but she was scared because she had never kissed anyone” she quote marked that part with her fingers “I just wanted to help her…”

“Okay, it’s understandable up to this point of course, but there’s more, isn’t there?” Lena pulled her pillow and sat up, letting Lizzie lie her head on her legs.

“But she said yes?” Kara asked before her daughter could keep going. Ellie nodded “uh, okay. Not so bad… if she was okay with it, then there’s no problem, right?” She turned to Lena. Rao, relationships were so complicated.

“It depends” Lena exhales, biting down on her lips, like she used to. Showing that her brain was working at full speed on a simpler answer “picture the both of us the year we met” She suggested. Kara nodded, and smiled at the memory of those times “we both know I fell for you first, not imagine that I needed a date for a ball and you offered to go, and we ended up kissing” Kara blushed at that idea “how do you think it would be like for me, being in love, knowing that that was just fake and that you were just helping me?

Some seconds passed, Kara’s eyes were glowing with confusion and then something clicked on her brain.

Oh.

“Rao, Grace likes Ellie?” she questioned with a high-pitched voice. Rao, how come she had never noticed it? It made so much sense if she were to be honest “Oh, Rao…”

“What?” Ellie and Lizzie asked at the same time.

“I’m sorry you got this from your yeyu” Lena joked, provoking as always “but Ellie, honey, pay attention to everything you just said. In your naive mind, there was no problem in it, of course, there wasn’t, but Grace likes you, it wasn’t just a kiss to her, just a way for her to hurt even more, because she doesn’t know you feel the same way.” a soft, quiet sob echoed on the room, painful was the right word to describe it.

“Hey, is’kah” Kara moved closer to the girl and kissed her cheeks now wet with tears “what’s wrong?”

“M-mom…” Ellie sobbed breathlessly and Lena reached for her hand, squeezing it gently to assure her it was okay “mom, I… I don’t know what I’m feeling, I… I think I like her but at the same time I don’t want to” now her crying has turned into a suffocating vent, regaining control of her breathing “I’m already different, I have this powers I can’t use, I wasn’t born the right way, what if… what if she finds out I was found on a basement alone? What if she doesn’t believe I’m your biological daughter? I don’t want to be even more different, I don’t want to be the type of girl that loves another girl, you know what people say, right? Being that kind of different isn’t cool.” by that point, the whole Luthor-Danvers family was drowning in an ocean of tension and silence.

What were they going to say now? How were they going to explain that it was okay to be different, to fall in love with the whoever person? It wasn’t a big deal to any of them, Alex was married to Sam, they had two mothers, so witness and dealing with same-sex couples was normal and routine for the girls. But feeling and figuring yourself out to be the same could also hurt, especially in a world that wasn’t kind to all types of love. Ever since her daughters were little, Lena made a proper effort not to push any kind of sexual orientation onto them, it wasn’t fair, and in her heart, Lena just wanted both of them to find someone who loved them truly, just like she had found Kara. Lucky for her and also for her motherly concern, neither Lizzie nor Ellie was that interested in that kind of relationship, choosing friendships over it.

“Okay, I’m going to tell you something and I need you to pay attention to me” Kara also tried to sit up, still a little awkward but just grateful her leg wasn’t bothering her as much “being different is something that hurts on this planet. People aren’t usually accepting of what they don’t understand, and it has been this way from the beginning. Wars were battled because of prejudice, people have died due to intolerance, all it took was to be a little different. When I arrived here, I was alone” Kara had told that story before, her daughters had memorized it by this point “I remember that at school there was this really pretty girl, she was even a bit popular and had all eyes on her. I felt something for her, it might have been physical attraction or anything else, but the point is that I felt something.” Her eyes met Lena’s, so green, calm and intense “One night I asked Alex, who didn’t like me a lot back then, if she had ever felt something for girls, and she freaked out. She told me I was already weird enough, that I already drew too much attention…” she sighed “and that if that was the case, I would just be the freak at school.”

“But aunt Alex…” Lizzie frowned.

“I know, Liz. We all know now, but even when she came out to me it was like she was ripping a dagger out of her chest. Alex knew it was going to affect me too because on that night she pushed me to bury a part of myself.” Kara explained tenderly, moving the blond hair from her girl’s face “for many years I was caught up on the idea that I had to fall in love with a guy, to have kids and a family, earthly and traditional things. Even though I knew that back in Krypton it would be okay for me to marry a woman.” She held Ellie’s face softly, gently stroking her finger on her pale skin “my point here Ellie, is that you can be different. Different is beautiful, it’s extraordinary and you’re free to love whoever you want. Look at me and your mother, our families had huge problems, practically speaking, it would be completely wrong for me to fall in love with anyone with the name Luthor. But look at where we came.” She looked at her wife again, now with teary eyes and a silly smile.

“What your yeyu means, my love, is that you don’t have to hide or repress what you feel for your friend, okay?” Lena got even closer, letting Lizzie cuddle on her arms as she did ever since she was a baby and then reached Ellie “and about your birth, this is only ours. You don’t have to tell anyone you don’t feel comfortable sharing it. If Grace is not ready to know yet, then wait, and if she never is, that’s fine too. Just now that it doesn’t matter if I gave birth to you or not, you’re still mine and your yeyu’s, and nothing in the world can change that.”

“What I felt was good, like… like it had fit so well in my heart, you know?” Her green eyes lit up and met Lizzie’s “I think I like her in the same way too…”

“You think, Romeo?” Lizzie teased, grabbing her waist and making her laugh “I’m so happy for you!” She pulled her in for a hug and they stayed there, safe with each other.

“Hey, I’m the one who’s sick here!” Kara mumbled, pouting and they laughed.

“And you, Liz” Ellie turned to her sister “when are you going to admit you’re jealous of Ezra and it isn’t just as a friend?”

“Ellie!” she complained exasperated.

“Am I wrong?” her voice became serious. Kara and Lena simply waited and watched their interaction “you almost broke the table at the cafeteria today because of jealousy, just because you found out another girl asked Ezra for a party. Liz, why don’t you just tell him?”

“But what if he doesn’t feel the same?”

“Oh, Rao…” Kara sighed as Lena laughed loudly. Lizzie and Ellie truly were her daughters, there was no denying it “I thought it was a joke, but apparently we were like that?” She looked at her wife, who nodded.

“For Rao’s sake, Liz! He spent the whole day trying to talk to you!” Ellie exposed wisely “if I can figure out my feelings for Grace, then you can do the same!”

“For Grace? I don’t like her like that!” Lizzie replied fast, increasing her mothers' laughter even more.

“She is just like you,” Kara turned to Lena.

“Ugh, you’re a Luthor, you’re not allowed to be that dumb” Ellie shot back.

“Aunt Alex said you were” and now Lena intervened. That was crossing a line.

“Hey, okay, that’s enough” she put an end to it and got up “I think we all came to some important conclusions here, right?” They nodded “Ellie and Lizzie, no matter what you feel, friendship is what always stays. I’m sure both of you are going to manage it better than your mother and I did” She winked at her wife “now shower and clean your room while I make dinner.”

“Let’s order pizza, pretty please!” Ellie used her best suffering astray puppy face, Lizzie and Kara did the same.

“I’m sick,” Kara pouted. The damned pout.

How, what had she gotten into over a decade ago?

“When my brother told me aliens were going to end me, I wasn’t expecting this” she murmured to herself, not caring that all of them could hear it.

“Mom!” they yelled and laughed.

“You two have ten minutes to clean up that mess, no super-speed allowed” Lena commanded “I’ll order pizza.”

“Rao, I married the right person!”

 


***

 


It was the tenth time Lena tried to focus enough to finish making the lasagna she had promised to bring for family dinner at Alex’s house. It was the girl's favorite dish, and also her wife’s, but it was annoyingly difficult to grate the cheese on top of it and put it on the oven as there was a needy and sly hero holding onto her waist, kissing her neck and quietly moaning for attention. God, there were times she could commit homicide, but there were others that there was no resisting it. At that same time, Supergirl had shown up at L-Corp twice. One when was she heard her wife’s heartbeat speed up too much and then dropped by to make sure everything was okay - which wasn’t 100% true, since one of her partners was an asshole and Lena had gotten nervous - and the other simply because she was missing her, which was never any help for Lena to finish her work in time, obviously.

“Kara, if you keep going I won’t finish dinner and you’re not going to have time to get ready,” Lena said breathlessly, trying to convince her using reason but losing her own train of thought “Kara…”

“Hm?” Kara continued to trail down her neck, slightly sucking on her pulsing point and then going back to her jawline, as her hand performed circling moves on her stomach under her shirt. “What?”

“We’re going to be late,” she exhaled. All of her body was reacting to each touch, each move she made on the right spots “and the girls are going to be here from school in a few minutes.”

“I promise I won’t take long” she kept going. Lena closed her eyes and tried to summon all of her interior strength to put the pot on the oven.

Hardly and stumbling on her body, Lena managed to turn around to face her, putting a finger over her lips and interrupting it.

“You have the exact amount of time until the girls are here and this oven to whistle, and there’s no point in a whimpering, Mrs. Luthor-Danvers.”

In a couple of minutes, the clothes were on the floor all the way from the kitchen to the living room’s couch, as it was usual. Kara checked if the door was locked, she had lost count on how many times her girls had walked in at the wrong time. Fine, both were already old enough to understand, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing and traumatizing. Alex fully agreed. And they couldn’t complain, either the girls were too young and didn’t have time for sex or they were older and they had more time for it. You can’t have everything, right?

As Kara slightly bit one of her nipples a loud, long whimper escaped her lips. It was becoming a torturing caress. Lena uselessly tried to relieve herself on her wife’s thighs, trying to use the little contact to create desperately insane friction, but Kara knew her and she knew she was going to rush things to get the desired pleasure. So, still taking her time on her breasts and marking every inch of pale skin with small hickeys, Kara trailed her lips down her stomach, kissing every mark and stretch that had remained from the nine months of pregnancy. Those marks told a story, one about two people who had fallen in love three times in a span of nine months. One for the child growing inside that belly, another for the woman carrying it, and the last one for herself.

“K-kara… please.” Lena bagged in a whimper, spreading her legs to show what she wanted.

Kara smirked with a sug look and slowly traced a finger over her cunt, feeling the oozy and white-ish wetness now slid down. It didn’t take long for her to taste it, for her to make her lose herself in moans and spasms. Kara made Lena’s sight go dark for a moment as she slid in two fingers into her cunt, coming and going non-stop until she heard her scream her name. After finishing what she had started, Kara let her catch a breath, her cheeks flushed from the action and chest going up and down slowly. That was Kara’s favorite sight, without a doubt. Lena, naked, sweaty, completely bare, body and soul That was her wife, her best friend, and her partner for life. Mother of her daughters. The smartest woman in the world, and also the kindest, the warmest, and most patient.

“What?” Lena asked, covering her boobs with her hands, feeling exposed. However, Kara quickly removed her hands from there and smiled, in love.

“You’re the prettiest woman I have ever seen” she murmured, leaning in to kiss her again. Lena could feel her own taste in the tip of her tongue and she moaned at the feeling. “The prettiest woman in the world.”

“And you’re the silliest.” Lena teased with a smile, kissing her lightly and slowly “my silly girl.”

“I love you” she whispered as she laid on top of her, their bodies sticking with sweat and Lena kissing the messy blonde hair, her hands caressing the back of her neck “I love you so much I’m not sure fits inside my chest. I don’t even know if that makes sense.” They laughed.

“I feel the same” Lena confessed, not scared or hurting from admitting such an intense and pretty feeling. The memory of the first time she had said it out loud still haunted her every now and then, not always in a bad way, but still a little frightening “I love you so much, Kara.”

 

***

 

“I’ll get it!” Winn yelled to Sam, who was chopping some vegetables for the salad. As he opened the door for the last guests of the night, his smile widened.

“Uncle Winn!” Lizzie and Ellie greeted, with a scream. It had been some weeks since they had last seen him because he was traveling and then routine got in their way “I missed you so much!” Lizzie squeezed him in a hug.

“And I missed you, but I brought something for my favorite goddaughter,” He exposed while greeting Ellie, Lena, and Kara.

“You only have one.” Lena reminded, as always, winking with a smirk.

Everyone was there, J’onn, James, Eve, Eliza, and the Danvers-Arias family. However, there were two more people there and Kara was sure no one had told her about that.

“Ruby?” Kara gasped in a mix of confusion and shock as she saw the girl, who wasn’t quite a girl anymore.

“Hey, aunt Kara” Ruby answered awkwardly, leaving Colin on the couch and getting up to hug her. She had missed all of her family, each one of them. It was funny to think that years ago she had been just a kid, Lena was pregnant and Alex wasn’t even in love with her mom “I missed you.”

“Rao, Ruby! How… How dare you show up like that without a warning?” They laughed, and Alex joined them.

“I said the same, I’m still recovering from the surprise” she sighed and greeted her sister with a hug “you two are late” she pointed the spoon at Lena and Kara.

“Kara wanted to dine before coming” Lena whispered to Alex, who immediately grunted and regretted all the times she supported her sister’s relationship with a Luthor.

Winn, who was close to them, choked on his wine while laughing out loud. J’onn and Elize chose to keep talking about anything else, while Sam screamed from the kitchen she wanted to know what was happening. James got up from the couch to greet the Luthor-Danvers family, laughing at his friend’s reaction and congratulating Lena for her snarkiness. Eve, as she got back from the kitchen, carrying a pan, smiled and headed to the table, finishing setting it. Ruby introduced Colin to everyone, narrating the years they spent apart and how they managed to meet and fall in love again. However, though the story was great, they all just wanted to know why she was back when she was supposed to be moving to England. That dinner had been rushedly scheduled because apparently, Ruby had something to tell them.

“Aunt Lutessa!” A familiar voice came from the stairs and soon a thin and tall body was holding on to Lena’s waist.

“My little Reign” Lena smiled and hugged her back “you’re going to be taller than me soon.”

“Anyone is taller than you” Suzie retorted, making them all laugh, and Winn and James scream ‘burn!’.

“Keep up that tone and that trip you’re so excited for isn’t going to happen” Lena shot back, and her goddaughter immediately nodded and ran to the kitchen.

“Grandma, when are we going to Midvale?” Ellie questioned Eliza, both she and her sister sitting around the older woman “we could go this summer.”

“I agree, I want to visit the pier again” Lizzie grumbled.

“That’s up to your mothers, my darlings,” Eliza answered tenderly.

“You’re right, Ellie” J’onn answered the girl, making her smile shyly.

“But she… oh, you read her mind” Lizzie remembered her sister’s power and sighed. She wanted to know what they were talking about.

“I’ll tell you later.” Ellie poked her sister’s shoulder and winked. Then, when Sam finally managed to escape the kitchen and went to greet her guests and sat next to her wife, Ruby and Colin got up. Eve was sitting next to Winn, Lena and Kara took their usual places on the chair, Kara sitting on the arm. James was next to J’onn and Eliza still had her arms around her granddaughters as if her life depended on it.  No one could deny that, indeed, she was a doting grandma. Suzie sat on the floor, leaning back on Eve’s legs, and then waited to hear what her sister had to say. When she saw Ruby at the door two days ago, she couldn’t contain her happiness. Ruby was undoubtedly the best person in the world and also her favorite. Despite the big age gap, Suzie always considered her a best friend and hated that she had to live so far away.

The nervousness and tension coming from the young couple were visible and worrying, Ruby looked at her boyfriend and smiled timidly, letting him intertwine their hands and give her the strength she needed. Ruby had trained and repeated that speech so many times back at home, writing down all the possible outcomes and reactions, even though she knew her mothers were extremely rational and reasonable regarding any subject. But that wasn’t just any subject, she thought to herself. Her doctor degree glasses were going to begin in a month, she had actively avoided any conversation about it, even when it was just simple questions like: ‘have you packed yet?’ or ‘Are you excited?’. Because the truth was that she had no idea what she was feeling. Finding Colin again was her greatest luck in life, he understood and loved her like no one ever did. Ruby still blamed herself for applying for a scholarship outside the country. Colin told her he couldn’t go with her, his mother was ill, he couldn’t abandon her and his father’s health was beginning to deteriorate too. Ruby understood it, but that didn’t make it any easier, it didn’t decrease the pain in her chest any less.

“You’re making me nervous” Sam murmured, reaching for her wife’s hand, a simple gesture but that made a giant difference.

“Well, as you all know, I was going to move because of my doctor's degree and that was going to affect my life in every sense” Ruby began, letting her eyes fall to her mothers and young sister “I was going to be away from all of you like I have been since the first year of college, but I still could catch a plane to visit. It wouldn’t be so easy if I went to Europe and that’s why I postponed my decision until I finally said yes,” she looked at her boyfriend, who still wore a calm smile “but leaving behind someone that I love would also hurt a lot and I… I wasn’t sure if I could do it, after all, you’re my family.” Lena and Kara smiled at the girl, Winn (who wasn’t really close to her, but still remembered all the afternoons at the DEO) smiled emotionally and hugged Eve by the side so as not to cry. James and J’onn felt flattered while Eliza couldn’t contain the pride she was feeling. Lizzie and Elie exchanged curious looks and her smart brains began working together, Ellie slightly touched her sister’s arm and made her see what was on her mind, creating a parallel reality to her.

But the Danvers-Arias family was still hesitant and anxious as to what the news was.

“A month ago Colin and I were thinking about how we were going to deal with the distance, weighing all the pros and cons but turns out we had a con that ended up being bigger than any other pros and possible reasons for me to go.” Colin let go of his girlfriend’s hand, walking to where he had been seated and grabbed a wood box wrapped on a turquoise blue paper. He went back to her side and waited for her to go on “this is for the three of you.” Ruby nodded at Suzie, who was still lost in that situation.

The girl got up and sat on Alex’s lap, Sam took the box in her hands. There were a few seconds, which felt infinite to them before they opened the gift. The uncertainty of the reaction was what scared Ruby the most, anything could happen and the young couple expected the best, after all, it wasn’t a bad thing, nothing that would upset them. Or at least they thought. Sam undid the lace, putting it aside, and then let Suzie take the paper off, putting it on Alex’s legs, and still wearing a confused look on her face.

As she slightly opened the little box, studded with small stars, Sam muffled the shock that escaped her lips as she realized what was in there. Her eyes immediately teared up, making her see everything doubled. Alex fully opened it and her mouth fell open in a perfect O from surprise, as Suzie took out a black and white photo with a blurred image and a pregnancy test with two lines on it. Everyone in the room reacted differently but waited for the two mothers to say something first as if to see how to proceed. Lena noticed the way her best friend still hadn’t processed it, her hands were shaking and tears running down her cheeks. So Alex quietly asked Suzie to stand up, sure she was still going to take a while to comprehend, for the ball to drop, she ran to embrace the girl who had first called her ‘mom’ in the past.

“Oh, Ruby” Alex’s long and firm arms tightened around Ruby’s fragile and thin body, pulling it closer to her heart as if to show that, though the greatness of that news hadn’t hit her yet, Alex was happy for her “you’re not that little girl anymore” she whispered in her ear, feeling Ruby squeeze her waist and hide her crying face on her neck. Ruby let out a quiet sob, the anxiety, the fear, and insecurity streaming down with the tears “you’ve grown…”

“I… I was so  scared of how you would react…” Ruby murmured, still not letting go “I-I’m sorry for…”

“No, Ruby” this time Sam’s voice comforted her. Sam closed the space between them, pulling her daughter to her arms now and stroking her hair like she used to do when Ruby was still small and scared by the storm outside “you don’t have to apologize, I just… I know you think you have to do what I didn’t because I got pregnant so young, but baby, this is your life, yours only and I’m going to support whatever decision you make.” Sam reached out for Colin, who remained there, just a bit far to give them some space, and called him to go there and join in “I just want you two to be happy, no matter what I think or what I want, okay?”

“Thank you, Mrs. Arias,” Colin said shyly, his eyes glowing with the stubborn tears coming up “It means a lot to me, to us that… that you took it well.”

“Wait…” Alex raised a hand and all eyes were on her “does that mean I’m going to be a grandma?”

“Best grandma ever!” Kara screamed excitedly and everyone left, dissipating the tension and any other bad feeling hanging over the air. One by one, they hugged and congratulated Ruby and Colin for the wonderful news. Winn soon joined Lena in teasing Alex about being a grandmother and Eliza of course didn’t stay out of it. Kara began a conversation with James, J’onn, and Eve about her two workplaces and soon the family was back to the casual talks. However, there was a certain someone that hadn’t even moved yet and both Ellie and Lizzie noticed their cousin's apprehensiveness, who continued to look at the ultrasound image with a blank face. Her hazel eyes came and went between the test and the photo.

“Suzie, are you okay?” Lizzie approached and slightly touched her shoulder. The girl was startled by the sudden contact and then ran upstairs, getting the rest of the family’s attention.

Sam motioned to get up and check on her but Ruby stopped her and said she knew exactly how her sister was feeling.

As Ruby climbed every step, she stopped to see the frames on the way and felt her heart warm up inside her chest. There were pictures of her from when she was just a flabby baby, pictures of her mothers in school and of Alex graduating High School, one of Kara and Lena taking her for ice cream, other with Lizzie and Ellie sitting on their baby chairs, clothes full of chocolate stains, then of Suzie at her first birthday, her first trip and them a collage of various pictures of her hugging Ruby. Before she reached the second floor, a lonely tear fell as she looked at a frame with two pictures on it, the top one was of Alex and Sam dancing on their wedding day and the bottom one was of all of them sitting on the couch, Suzie laughing of something terribly funny, Alex kissing her wife’s cheek and Ruby throwing popcorn at her sister. She remembered that day well, especially because the idea was to take a picture of her family for her graduation. This did not work in the end but she still took it anyway.

That was her home, her history and if she ever were to tell anyone about it, not one would believe it. No one would take her seriously if she said her mother was also Reign, that her aunt was Supergirl and therefore, Superman’s son was somewhat her cousin, that J’onn was martian, that her aunt Lena had gotten pregnant at an alien invasion, and that her mother created a baby in a lab. Those were real facts but would be immediately taken as craziness. As of pieces of insanity she had imagined and created in her mind.

“Suzie?” Ruby knocked on the door lightly, hearing a ‘go away’ back “I’m coming in.” She warned, slightly pushing the door.

“I don’t want to talk” Suzie grumbled stubbornly, her voice muffled on the pillow to hide her face.

Ruby rolled her eyes and walked towards the girl, sitting next to her on the bed and massaging her short brown hair.

“Are you going to ignore me, even though I have good news for you?” Suzie didn’t answer “C’mon, please. Just give me a chance.”

Sighing impatiently, something that Ruby was sure Suzie had gotten from Reign, she sat up and placed the pillow on her lap.

“Say it then.” She refused to look at her.

“Are you really not happy to know you’re going to be an aunt now?” She asked hesitantly, but understanding “even if it means that Colin and I are moving back to National City again?”

The girl’s eyes widened in disbelief and surprise. It couldn’t be true, could it?”

“Really? But like, for real? Are you really coming back?” Her excitement dried out from her voice soon and the reason behind it hit her hard, bumming her again “oh, but there’s still the baby.”

“And what’s wrong with the baby?”

“You’re going to forget about me because I’m not a little kid anymore and I’m going to just be the younger sister. The baby is going to have you now and not me…” She confessed, upset “it’s going to get your hugs, your kisses, and all your time, and even when you’re here, it won’t be the same… I know it’s stupid, but… but I miss you and now…”

“I know how you feel because I was in your place when our mothers decided to have another baby.” Ruby admitted, and there was no grudge or remorse in her voice, just immense gratitude because she loved Suzie with all her heart “it’s hard to deal with someone else’s arrival, as it’s going to end up getting everyone’s attention, but Suzie, this baby is going to need you.” Ruby reached her hand and made her look at her.

“How?”

“They’re going to need someone to teach them about the best rock bands in the world, someone to make them laugh, to hug when they get spooked, to take them to get the best ice cream in National City, and to explain our family’s complexity. They’re going to need to know what are the best cartoons, someone to explain them math when they get into school and to be their favorite aunt, someone that they’re going to count the days to meet again,” Ruby explained gently “and I could only think of you for it because you’re my young sister, the person I’d trust this mission to and I hope you help me because I’m scared too.”

“You are?” Ruby nodded “I… hadn’t thought about it like that” Suzie bit her lips “you don’t need to be scared, Ruby” she squeezed her hands kindly “I’m going to help you, okay? I’m going to be the best aunt in the world.”

“That’s everything I need, plus, you get to join aunt Lena at making fun of mom” she winked, making Suzie laugh “let’s see how she does at the grandmother job.”

“I can’t wait.”

 

 

***

 

 

The last day of school had finally come, gracing the students with hot sun and summer weather worthy of celebration. After the bell rang, they all ran outside, carrying the joy of now being allowed to sleep in late, go to the beach, camp or just play video games the whole afternoon. They greeted each other, said goodbye, and already made plans for the evening because there was still the last party of the semester to attend. And that, in fact, was what had reunited the Luthor-Danvers and Arias-Danvers families that afternoon, after all, Ellie and Lizzie weren’t the only ones nervous about the party, a very stressed and impatient Suzie was also there, fighting against the dresses, make-up, and hair-do. At the end of the afternoon, Lena and Sam were helping their daughters, Ruby was responsible for snacks alongside Eve, so they went to the market together for ingredients. Alex and Kara had to run to the DEO, J’onn and Winn needed help with a sudden attack at the main dock.

 

“Mom, I don’t have any clothes to go and I had promised Grace I would show her everything before picking it but she’s not answering me!” Ellie grumbled nervously while Lena tried to braid her long blonde hair. Sam was almost dragging Suzie by the hair if she continued to move around.

 

“El, she’s probably getting dressed and you talked today at school” Lizzie tried to calm her down, waiting for her turn to have her hair braided “everything was okay, wasn’t it?”

 

“Uh, not so much” she confessed, “actually, uh… maybe I didn’t say anything about how I feel because I was nervous and I might have forgotten half of what I had rehearsed to say and then I didn’t know how…”

 

“Ellie” Lena interrupted as she noticed the rambling had begun “breathing, dear.”

 

“Sorry…” she took a deep breath “I kind of chickened out…”

 

“You two are so similar to your mothers I’m actually scared of it” Sam joined in, laughing.

 

“And how would I tell her?” Ellie sighed. Lena finally finished doing her hair and she got up so Lizzie could take her place. Ellie threw herself onto the bed, carefully to not mess the braid, and then sighed again.

 

“With your mouth” Suzie answered grumpily “c’mon, what’s so hard about going there and saying it. If it’s shit, then it’s shit. At least you did your part.”

 

“Suzie Arias Danvers!” Sam glared at her through the mirror and she fixed her hair “you want to go to this party, right?” she threatened, but the girl was far more stubborn.

 

“No, you know what? I don’t want to!” She shot back stubbornly, taking her mother’s hands out of her head, and then got up from the chair “maybe I didn’t want to, maybe I don’t care about these stupid girlie things or this stupid party!” Suzie raised her voice and walked out, going downstairs and straight to the living room.

 

Sam rolled her eyes and sighed tiredly, her daughter didn’t act like that constantly, on the contrary. Suzie might have acid humor and short patience, a quick-witted tongue, but she was always polite, loving, and understanding. Something was wrong and it was bothering her since the day before. After the talk with Ruby, about the pregnancy situation and the fact that a new baby was in the way, Suzie had apparently taken it well and even began to like the idea of being an aunt to someone who would look up to her. However, when the subject came to Charlotte and the party, Suzie didn’t have it in her to process that kind of change. It was like she was unable to admit to herself that she liked these sorts of things.

 

“I swear this girl is only Alex’s daughter” Sam grumbled and joined Ellie on the bed. Lena laughed and rolled her eyes, finishing brushing Lizzie’s long dark hair.

 

“She has your stubbornness and your temper, Sam” Lena accused jokingly “and there’s something clearly bothering her. Is all this anger still because of the baby?”

 

“I don’t think so” Sam turned to them “after Ruby explained that she’s not going to be replaced, it was easier for her to understand, apparently. Anyway, it’s going to take all of us a while to fully process this new situation.”

 

“Are you still having trouble accepting that you're going to be a grandma?’ Lena teased.

 

“Ugh, I’m going to have to deal with this for the rest of her life” Sam groaned as he thought that yes, she was literally going to be a grandmother “not that it’s a bad thing, I’m happy for Ruby and Colin, happy that they’re so sure and that Ruby… she isn’t alone like I was, you know? This child is going to have a father, my daughter is going to have a family to support her.”

 

“But…?”

 

“But I must admit the pin hasn’t dropped yet and to see my little girl expecting isn’t as easy as it seems,” Sam confessed, but there was an everlasting smile on her lips. One that would not go away “now Alex is radiating happiness, I don’t know what to do with her in these nine months” they laughed as they heard footsteps echo in the living room. Suzie was walking right and left and left and right, the way she always did when she was trying not to cry.

 

“It’s about the party, isn’t it?” Lizzi inferred “aunt Alex says she feels guilty for Suzie hating those things, that maybe Suzie the rebel phase is a bit too serious.”

 

“Do you want me to check on her?” Ellie volunteered, but then Lena put the hairbrush aside and smiled.

 

“Sam, finish Lizzie’s hair for me, please” and Sam stood up quickly, stepping into Lena’s place “I’m going downstairs to rescue a kryptonian. Ellie, try not to ruin your hair and you two can pick any dress or clothes you want in my closet.”

 

Both Lizzie and Ellie stared at her in shock, green and blue eyes shining as if they had just won the lottery. Sam laughed at Ellie’s overexcitement, that as she stood up to fats, she tripped on the bedsheets and ended up on the floor. Lizzie kept squirming on the chair while her aunt tried to finish her hairdo for the party.

 

Lena went to the living room and saw Suzie walk in circles, breathing heavily and eyes closed. Lena went straight to the kitchen, got the ice cream in the freezer, and served two small cups, putting some chocolate sprinkles and marshmallows as toppings. As she went back to the room, the girl was still there, now circling the coffee table in front of the tv, where usually the board games from game nights were. That tradition went on, now with a lot more people, like Eve and also Lucy Lane - who had gotten back together with James - when she was in National City. Lena placed the cups on the table by the couch and touched Suzie’s shoulders, seeing her stop and jump up at the sudden touch.

 

“I have ice cream and free time” Lena offered “and I’m also your smarter godmother.”

 

“You’re my only godmother, aunt Lutessa” Suzie shot back in her usual humor and it was enough for Lena to know her mood had a chance of going back to normal that evening.

 

“Exactly, come on, sit and tell me what’s going on” they leaned back to the couch, putting their feet up and then tasting that mint and chocolate ice cream.

 

“I thought I heard aunt Kara say you prohibited ice cream in the house for two months” Suzie commented curiously and Lena loved that girl’s nosiness, always poking where she shouldn’t “and it was like… last week?”

 

“You heard it right,” Lena shrugged. “I prohibited her, it doesn’t apply to me, only to her and her daughters.

 

“Oh, I thought you couldn’t make a child on your own” she provoked again.

 

“You can’t, but I didn’t even have to make one to be a mother” Lena retorted back and the girl rolled her eyes, but with a smile “now that you’ve cleared your doubts on my ice cream discrete, what made you overreact back there? I know this isn’t like you, little Reign.”

 

Suzie sighed and licked her ice-cream lips, taking a moment to think of how she was going to put it.

 

“I’m not like them, Aunt Lutessa.” She finally spoke. Her voice was low and clearly upset “I’m not pretty like them, always dressed properly or someone who cares about that stuff. It’s not that I don’t like it, I want to know what it’s like to go to a party, what… what it’s like to have a friend that isn’t a boy, but… what if no one likes me because I’m different. Cher is a really nice girl, very different from what I thought and I don’t want to lose her friendship because I’m weird” Suzie looked at Lena, with tears in her eyes and cheeks blushing from the sudden confession “I don’t even know what all that hair stuff is for.”

 

“Suzie, my love, you’re not weird” Lena pulled her in for a tight hug and kissed her forehead “it’s okay to be different and not know anything about make-up and that sort of thing. I know everything about make-up, but Kara doesn’t know a thing, but she knows about the stars and I learn every day from her. Charlotte might know a lot about hair and clothes, but you can sing and play the guitar like no other, and you also make the best Mexican food in the world.” They smiled.

 

“My guacamole kicks, right?” Lena agreed and kissed her again.

 

“What do you say I help you out with the clothes and all and you apologize to your mom for your behavior?” Suzie promptly agreed.

 

They got up and took the cups to the sink, going back upstairs, where Lizzie and Ellie felt ecstatic about being allowed to pick any dress from the best-dressed CEO in National City.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Kara had repeated at least twenty times to her daughter to not drink too much, because people would notice that, despite the alcohol, they didn’t get drunk. She also gave them a protocol in case of danger, if a boy wouldn’t leave them alone, how to dance, how to talk, and what to talk about, and Lena couldn't stop laughing. After all, her wife was the worst person for that sort of advice, but still, Lena let her have the spotlight and do her duty as a supermom. Before letting them go meet the twins on the other side of the street, Lena reminded them that, under no circumstances, they were to get into any sort of trouble with Helena Bertinelli’s daughter, no matter how much they wanted because of childish revenge. The girls, though not fully agreeing, nodded and then said goodbye to their mothers.

 

Lizzie and Ellie crossed the street, the music playing loud from the outside while neon lights lit up the garden through the huge glass windows. Theo and Thomas hugged them tightly, complimenting their outfits and saying how pretty they were. Grace looked at them, kissed Lizzie’s cheek, and then smiled awkwardly at Ellie. She didn’t know what to say, how to react, or even how to find the right words to form a coherent sentence and just compliment her best friend. Her green eyes were matching the button-up shirt of a military greenish shadow, perfectly put underneath the black skirt and she thought it was so funny that she was wearing Converse instead of sandals. The others, noticing the tension, cleared their throat and said they were going to get drinks. Lizzie just turned around and then remembered something important.

 

“Where’s Ezra?” She asked, biting down on her lips. Ellie knew that look and she knew her big sister was anxious and panicking. But they talked to their mother and aunt Sam and they had agreed that the girls ought to give it a shot. Ellie was more than willing to do so, her only difficulty was the same as her yeyu’s: speak coherently. While, for Lizzie, her problem was fear. Fear of losing her best friend, the only person who truly understood her.

 

“I think he’s by the bar, he was… down, I guess, almost didn’t come” Grace was honest “Honestly he’s only here because you asked him to.”

 

“Thanks” Lizzie turned to Ellie “meet me inside?”

 

“Sure, just give me some minutes” Ellie smirked. Lizzie nodded and then disappeared into the crowd of students on the front porch “will you dance with me?”

 

“Sure.”

 

With no fear or hesitation, Ellie held Grace’s hand and intertwined their fingers, guiding her through the front door. The music became louder, almost deafening for a kryptonian, but thank Rao, Ellie and Lizzie had a Luthor as a mother, who had developed protective earphones with a sensor capable of changing the yellow lamp frequency in their ears, so nothing there was going to hurt her. They dodged a few drunk girls, boys screaming to see who finished the cup faster, and other groups of people laughing, talking, and moving excitedly on the dance floor.

 

The lights got low, cutting the main room of the party into two parts - one for the dancefloor and the other for the bar - and then a white smoke came on, the music changing style and everyone slowly following its rhythm. Ellie felt her as if the heart was about to jump out of her chest as if she would never be able to say a coherent sentence in her life again and she would be stuck at that moment forever. The sight of Grace dancing in front of her, obviously a bit looser and a little less sober, was fragmenting with the light, as the singer sped up the song, it seemed as if Grace was moving in slow motion. Rao, how was it possible to feel so nervous? How was it possible to be unable to say what she had rehearsed for two whole days?

 

Then, breathing in and getting a little closer, Ellie held her waist and they began to fit together in the dance, their bodies moving as if they were made to follow each other. Grace closed her eyes at the feel of Ellie’s hot hands going up to her arms, reaching her neck, and them going down again, restarting the motion. It was like being tested, tortured, and being unable to stop it, not because she couldn’t, but because she didn’t want to. The terrifying idea of being rejected consumed her from inside out, and that was why Grace didn’t dare to get any closer, she wouldn’t be able to resist the need to kiss her again. Suddenly, the lights changed from green to neon blue, the atmosphere becoming more neutral and dark, smoke coming up again and as she opened her eyes, she found Ellie so close to her that her breathing touched her face. Muffled and desperate.

 

Everything happens in a flash. The fragments of bodies around them began to move in slow motion, the music was loud enough to break the glasses, but it was like there was no sound. Only her heart beating as if it was the last thing keeping her alive. The warm lips touched hers, that citric taste joining her sweet one, the soft velvet tongue contouring her mouth, asking for passage. And who was Grace to deny it? The same feeling of being taken off the ground hit her like a train. The warm body and Ellie’s small chest pressed against hers, the hands walking over her shoulder to her neck and then grabbing the long dark hair.

 

Grace lost her air, and she didn’t mind it. On the contrary, her thirst and hunger only grew bigger inside her, making her push Ellie onto the nearest wall and hold her waist possessively. Ellie whimpered on her lips and then they stopped, looked at each other and doubt hung between them again.

 

Until Ellie kissed her slowly, grabbing her lower lips between her teeth and feeling an indescribable warmth all over her body. Rao, she was going to melt right there.

 

“I like you” the music sounded again and her voice almost didn’t come out. So, Ellie got closer to her best friend’s ear and said with everything she had “I’m in love with you, Grace.”

 

Grace didn’t answer, she just held her slightly reddened cheeks and kissed again, this time, with her feelings in it. The feeling of requited love was the best of them all.

 

“Grace…” Ellie tried to finish “Grace!”

 

“I’m sorry…” She smiled and then they laughed as they saw each other faces stained with lipstick “let me help” she raised her thumb to fix the purple mark on Ellie’s face.

 

“I have to find Liz, she went looking for Ezra and I need to know if everything is okay,” Ellie explained, a little worried

 

“There’s a pool outside, I’m sure he’s there and she’s probably with him. Come on.

 

Crossing the ocean of drunk and slightly out-of-control people was actually fun if it wasn’t so hard. Ellie saw Theo from afar, playing ping pong with one of the basketball boys and Thomas was somewhere inside the house. However, by the left of the back porch, in front of the primped pool with balloons and colorful lights - where some people had jumped in fully clothed - they saw Ezra talking to a girl that wasn’t Lizzie, but Madison. Ellie dragged Grace to the other side, desperately trying to find Lizzie, and then she spotted her over another corner, with Thomas by her side.

 

“Liz!” Ellie called and right away noticed the burning rage in her blue eyes “Liz, what are you doing here?”

 

“She kind of broke two glasses in her hand and I thought she might’ve ended up breaking the table too,” Thomas answered and looked at his friend, who rolled her eyes.

 

“He told me to calm down and not commit homicide with my strength” Lizzie replied vexed and enraged “I tried to call Ezra, but that…uh, she won’t get out of there! What the fuck is wrong with her?”

 

“Wow, Lizzie said a bad word.” Grace pointed out. That could only mean trouble.

 

“Lizzie Luthor Zor-El, you listen to me” Ellie grabbed her sister closer and made her stand up “you aren’t going to be here wallowing in self-pity while that girl is talking to your best friend, the boy you’re in love with, got it?” Both Grace and Thomas were startled by the girl’s posture and commanding tone “you don’t carry two strong names to weaken out now.”

 

“What should I do?” Lizzie asked, firm.

 

“You go there and show who was there first” Ellie fixed her sister’s hair “and remember: you’re the heir of a two-billion-dollar company. The CEO position is yours and you can do so much more than you think.”

 

Lizzie smiled smugly. She hardly used her intimidating posture, because she didn’t think it was necessary yet, but she had learned a lot about having an unbreaking image as she accompanied her mother to millions of conferences at L-Corp, after deciding she was going to follow her steps. Lizzie feared only a few things, like speaking in public, but she never gave up. Lena taught her to be focused, to stand out when people were least expecting and that feeling insecure was the common part of any human being. And although she was kryptonian, her mother’s human and fragile part was in her DNA too. Running in her blood. The music inside changed up to a faster song and everyone cheered.

 

And Lizzie only had one focus.

 

“She… she isn’t going to break the girl in half, right?” Thomas asked a little afraid, watching the girl walk across to the other side

 

“No, Lizzie is never physically violent” Ellie calmed him down, though also feeling anxious about her sister’s next move “but Madison might end up crying.”

 

“Ellie!” Grace turned to her “you’re not serious, are you?”

 

“Uh, no?” Ellie laughed and kissed her again, surprising their friend. Thomas cheered and jumped up off the chair to hug them.

 

“My two favorite girls!” He kissed their cheeks and squeezed them in.

 

On the other side, Lizzie ordered a red and blue drink, having her plan well made and thought through.

 

Poor Madison, who decided to wear a white dress.

 

“Ezra!” Lizzie approached them and then, in a blink of an eye, she tripped and… “Oops! I’m sorry!” The red and blue liquid drenched the white cloth and Madison got up quickly with a scream.

 

“Are you insane?” She continued to yell “My dress! Ugh! You ruined my dress!”

 

“Opsie, I really didn’t mean it” Lizzie smiled cynically “look, now you have Supergirl’s colors! Weren’t you a fan?”

 

“Ugh! I hate Supergirl and everybody knows that!” Madison yelled enraged and tried to hit the Luthor, but missed it because Ezra got up quickly and placed himself between them.

 

“Hey! No fights” he said, a little startled “she already apologized, she didn’t mean to.”

 

“Are you really taking this freak’s side?” Madison looked at him in shock, feeling deliberately betrayed “I can’t believe it. Amazing.”

 

“Oh, and there’s one more thing” Lizzie replied smartly, putting her cup on the table and then holding Ezra’s red shirt by the collar.

 

Which coincidentally matched her red dress.

 

Such a cliche, she thought to herself before pulling him for a kiss.

 

Madison looked at them, rage streaming down her eyes and she barely noticed she had smashed her plastic cup with one hand. Ezra, on the other hand, was completely frozen and didn’t know how to react. His best friend's lips were on his, it wasn’t a dream or a mirage - the ones that can make you rave. Then, as something inside him had just clicked, he held her by the waist with his left hand while the other grabbed the back of her neck, deepening the kiss. Ellie, Grace, Thao, and Thomas began to cheer loudly, finally celebrating another couple in the group. The two love birds smiled and pulled away, facing each other as if they were about to float from there. Lizzie’s face was reddened by embarrassment and Ezra’s lips were marked the same color as her lipstick.

 

He hugged her and let out a relieved sigh. He wasn’t going to lose his best friend.

 

“Can I ask you something?” He broke the moment and Lizzie raised her blue eyes again, arching a brow “did you kiss me as a friend, or…”

 

“Shut up, Ezra” she laughed and gave him a quick peck on the lips “you’re so stupid.”

 

“But you like me,” he smiled.

 

“Yeah… and it’s all your fault” she smiled back. Soon their friends came back and they joined together to celebrate, finally, another ending of a school year.

 

And now closer than ever.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Not very far from there, a party was about to be left behind due to boredom.

 

“Rao, I can’t stand this music,” Suzie said to her drummer, who also happened to be her best friend from school.

 

“Hm, at least the hot dog is delicious, want to try?” he offered her and she promptly accepted “See?”

 

“True” she agreed and then observed the other guests laughing while playing UNO or having fun on the tv with the Xbox “Where is Chris?”

 

“I think he ate too much and got a stomach ache” Giles, the drummer, answered mouthful “I swear, I’m breaking that speaker with my bare hands. What band is this?”

 

“It’s the freshmen guys, you know how it is. Cooler than us” he shrugged, taking another sip of soda and looking at his friend “what?”

 

“I’m going to find Charlotte, she has to be at her own party” Suzie got up from the stairs step and looked at the second floor “Want to bet she has the biggest room of the house?”

 

“I’m not crazy to bet against you, Suzie” they laughed and she ran upstairs, jumping two steps at a time.

 

As she got on the hallway, a sudden doubt hit her and she was, of course, obliged to use the x-ray vision to figure out what the right room was. Her yeyu and mother made her promise she would never use it since the laser vision hadn’t shown yet and they both thought it wasn’t going now, so there was no need for her to wear glasses. To which Suzie was very thankful for, by the way. After finding a body on the other side of the second door, Suzie stopped in front of it and took a deep breath. Finding courage somewhere deep inside her, she knocked on the door, praying to Rao for her new friend to not be there making out with someone, because that would be traumatizing.

 

“Cher?” Nothing. Not one simple answer.

 

Suzie focused and took advantage of her super hearing. Charlotte was crying.

 

Rao.

 

“Cher?” This time Suzie came in without knocking and the girl on the other side raised her face stained by tears “hey, what’s wrong?” She made her way next to the bed and noticed that the girl was dressed for the party, she just didn’t seem excited about it, at all “you… are you okay?”

 

“I…” A quiet sob escaped her lips and then, unexpectedly, Suzie pulled her close for a clumsy hug. It was hard to know what to do, she wasn’t exactly used to dealing with other people’s feelings or comforting them, especially someone with whom a friendship had just blossomed. 

 

But Suzie cared. Weirdly enough, she cared.

 

“What happened?” She asked again, slowly and tenderly caressing her dark hair “do you want to tell me?”

 

“My… my parents, t-they’re…” She sighed, trying to catch her breathing again “they’re getting a divorce and that… I was already feeling down this week, because of something I heard someone say about me, and then… that only made it worse…”

 

“Who said it?” Rao, Suzie hated those stupid, imbecile boys.

 

“The same one as always” Cher looked away and felt embarrassed to be crying “I’m sorry about your shirt… and for inviting you to a party that you don’t even like.”

 

“Oh,” Suzie noticed her shirt was wet where the girl had leaned her face on “that’s okay and about the party, I… yeah, you’re right. I’m not… a party girl, but I came because of you” She confessed bravely, impressing even herself “and when I noticed you weren’t there, I came to look for you. Where are your friends?”

 

“They ended up leaving when I said I wasn’t in the mood for the party” She admitted “I hope the food was good, at least.”

 

“Oh, yeah! Gils and Chris might have finished all the hot dogs, I hope you aren’t hungry now” they laughed and soon Charlotte cleaned her tears with her hands, feeling a bit better “I’m sorry about your parents, truly.”

 

“Yeah… but I think my mom is going to be better off without my dad, they aren’t friends anymore” she shrugged, remembering every argument she had witnessed. Maybe it was the best solution. “I think it’s going to be better for all of us.”

 

“I hope so” Suzie smiled genuinely “Are you feeling better? Do you need, uh… anything?”

 

“I don’t know, I just don’t really feel like going down and being in a party where I don’t even like the songs playing” she laughed “God, what was I thinking when I agreed to let these guys play?”

 

“I was asking myself the same thing, you look far too reasonable to call guys like them” She was too honest, as usual, “Uh… I mean, not that you were… er, unreasonable, or whatever.”

 

“I got it, Suzie” they laughed again and the tension vanished slowly, leaving on the hot summer breeze coming from the bedroom’s window.

 

“I have an idea, can I get that guitar there?” Suzie pointed to the forgotten acoustic instrument “if you don’t mind.”

 

“Sure, I never learned how to play it so it just stays there, useless” the girl watched her stand up, get the instrument and then sit back on the bed, taking her shoes off and crossing her legs over the mattress.

 

“If you tell anyone about this, they’re never going to find your body” Suzie threatened and Charlotte raised her hands up to her chest

 

“My lips are sealed!” she promised.

 

“Great” Suzie replied, quickly tuning each string and finding the right chords. When she finally managed to find the right notes, a familiar and nostalgic melody began to play. Suzie smiled awkwardly, her cheeks were blushing, and then her grave and a soft voice echoed with the song “ Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take I'll be watching you.

 

“Hey! I know that one!” Cher got excited and began to move her head to the rhythm and snap her fingers.

 

“It’s a really romantic song but the dude was kind of insane” Suzie commented, laughing “ Every single day, every word you say…

 

Every game you play, every night you stay ” Cher sang, her sweet and pretty voice following the notes perfectly.

 

“Your voice!” Suzie complimented and smiled “ I’ll be watching you”  they laughed “now the chorus!”

 

Oh can't you see

You belong to me

My poor heart aches

With every step you take

 

They sang together loudly, not caring how crazy they sounded. Suzie found out that night that Charlotte also had a great taste in music, that her voice was one of the prettiest she had ever heard, and that her style said nothing about her personality.

 

In that same evening, Suzie had gotten a lot more than stomach ache from having too much hot dog and soda. She had also gotten a friend.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Two weeks later…

 

“Alex, I’m so, so nervous” Kara mumbled for the thousandth time, twisting on the small wooden platform and fixing her hair with both hands again “what if she finds out?”

 

“She won’t!” Alex answered again “Lena is kind of dumb for this kind of thing, also, the girls distracted her for the entire day.”

 

“Lena is going to kill, especially because she thinks I forgot our anniversary” Kara sighed. She was so scared and nervous at the same time that she could barely think.

 

“It’s going to turn out okay, honey” Eliza approached them. All of their family and friends were there. Eliza and J’onn, Eve and Winn, Sam with Suzie, Ruby and Colin, James and Lucy, Nia, and even her new dog Margot, who kept sniffing everything. Ellie and Lizzie were with Lena and the idea was to surprise her.

 

About a month ago, Kara began to worry about their anniversary, because their marriage would be turning fifteen and that meant a lot to both of them. Lena could pretend she didn’t care much, but Kara knew her better than herself. So, Nia, CatCo’s new junior reporter, started to help her brainstorm a hundred ideas to celebrate the date. The ideas came from a trip to Paris to skydiving over a beach in Portugal. However, Kara didn’t want a cliche or an exaggeration, she didn’t want to just take her wife to a place filled with other couples that meant nothing to them and their family. Also, although they always spent that date together, enjoying their alone together day, it felt right for everyone to be there. Even Lois, Clark, and their son Jonathan had come.

 

“Liz texted me, they’re arriving” Sam showed up to warn “apparently your dear wife is mad at you for not knowing where you’re going and why you’re not answering any of her calls.”

 

“Rao, I’m going to die!” Kara was one step from total panic “I knew I had to come up with a better excuse.”

 

“For heaven’s sake, Kara!” Alex held her shoulders “we both told her we’d be at Midvale by seven, It's not even six yet. Calm down!”

 

“Uh, okay” she pouted “I’m sorry.”

 

“Relax, dear” Eliza kissed her face “it will all be perfect.”

 

“They’re here!” Suzie yelled and they all turned around. Each guest was sitting in the lined wooden chairs, garnished with lilies and violets. There was a white carpet that went into the beach up until the small altar made by Winn, James, and J’onn.

 

Kara, who was wearing a baby blue dress that went down to her bare feet, turned around to see Lena, who was wearing exactly what their daughters had chosen: a salmon-colored dress, naked at the shoulders and that covered her feet, also bare. The long wavy hair flew with the wind coming from the ocean, the sunset lighting up her face and making her green eyes look more crystalline than diamonds. She looked confused, surprised, and maybe wasn’t believing what was in front of her. Ellie then handed her a small bouquet and intertwined their arms, Lizzie did the same on the other side.

 

They all stood up, excitedly waiting to witness that scene happen after fifteen years. Kara had come up with the idea to renew the vows and Nia helped her with the rest of it, placing it as close to perfection as possible.

 

And that specific beach in Midvale held so many special memories. The first dating proposal, the first I love you, and now, the confirmation of it all again.

 

“What is going on?” Lena asked he daughters as the band began to play a soft and low march, fitting perfectly well with the sounds of waves crashing on the shore.

 

“A small surprise for you” Lizzie replied.

 

“Happy anniversary, mom” Ellie added and then the three of them reached Kara.

 

Kara kissed her daughters, whispering how much she loved them in kryptonian, and then held Lena’s hand, with a dazzling smile and her eyes bluer than the sky painting that afternoon. As soon as everything was quiet, they stood face to face. Lena took a few more seconds to look at the ocean, the sun kissing the waters and painting them orange, the sand being covered by the waves, and every special guest waiting for the big moment. Seventeen years ago - more or less - Lena would never think that moving from Metropolis to National City would bring so many surprises. It was a sudden decision, she wanted to reraise her family name once again, to build her own legacy, have her own history. Until the day a single and simple person turned her world upside down.

 

Kara Danvers. Kara Zor-El.

 

Or, now, Kara Zor-El Luthor Danvers.

 

So many nights she had spent thinking no one would ever love her, understand her, or accept her broken heart. Nights that Kara’s smile would invade her mind, her honest and kind words would warm every inch of her soul. And then, out of the blue, life gave her something a lot bigger and unimaginable, something that, if it was up to Lena back then, she would have never chosen. her life had once again turned full circle, hurting her, knocking her down then teaching her it was normal to fall, to want to stay on the ground, feel that pain and sadness, but she would manage to stand up. And Kara was there, every time. Kara, the person who carried the world on her back, a responsibility she never had a say on and that kept a huge secret for everyone's well-being. Kara, the same woman who held her when everything seemed confusing, that made her laugh loudly on rainy days, that made everything simpler, sunnier, and happier. Kara and her habit of rambling on, getting nervous at funny situations, and simply made her levitate with her loving and soft words.

 

Kara, the lost girl, the most loyal and talented reporter from CaCo, the city’s hero, Lena’s best friend, the wife, the mother, the sister, the friend and so many other things.

 

The woman who was right there, in front of her, willing to eternalize one of the best moments of her life again. And Lena didn’t have enough words to say how much she loved her, how grateful she was for every choice she took in the past, though painful and though scary. The weight behind her name still existed, but now it was a light burden. As she looked at her daughters, both so grown, smart, and not searching for their own paths, Lena was sure of one thing - no matter how much a cliche it was. She was sure she started, ending and restarting in one person.

 

And that person was Kara.

 

“Lena,” Kara pulled her out of her thoughts, eyes a bit teared up and cheeks blushing. “I’m sorry for making you think I had forgotten about this day and for all the times I made you think our relationship had fallen into a routine. I’m sorry for all the moments I let you down, when I wasn’t there to hold you or when I just upset you.” She sighed “I’m here to say that it’s going to happen again because I’m still going to get it wrong. But I want you to know that I’m always willing to apologize and to grow next to you with every mistake that I make because I love you too much and there isn’t one person that can make me as happy as you do. I love every little part of you, of your heart, of your unique and scary humor” she laughed and bit her lips “I love you ever since the first time I walked into your office and you believed in me.”

 

Slowly, she took her wife’s hands up to her mouth and kissed them warmly.

 

“I’m here to ask you if you want to marry me again today and continue to marry me every year until the last thing we have is one another” Lena let out a quiet sob and smiled, feeling silly from the mix of feelings “Do you?”

 

“I do, until the end of my life, Kara” Lena let go of her hands and held her face “I love you, forever.”

 

“I love you too, Lena. Forever.”

 

In that afternoon, once again, Kara and Lena proved that despite their names, past and future fears, that love was going to last forever.

 

Notes:

THE END.

 

Y'all... I can't believe this fic is over! (cries)

Guys I had such a fun time writing it and it's unreal to me how much it grew here!

First I want to thank the author for allowing me to translate this work and also for being so patient with me, I love you.

And I want to thank ALL OF YOU! Who read it, and cried, and laughed, and felt everything with the characters!

I was baffled by the love and honestly still am. I guess I won't see you guys next week but know that this was a wild ride and I couldn't have done it without you all. Thank you. Truly.