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The Competitive Nature of Siblings

Summary:

Robb and Sansa are competitive, everyone in Winterfell knows this. And when that competitive spirit is used to see who can woo Theon the best? Well, how can Theon complain?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter Text

Theon looked smugger than usual and Jon was suspicious. He could only think of a few reasons for why Theon would look more content than Greywind receiving all the scritches he could possibly want and none of them boded well for him.

“Why are you so happy?” He asked, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Theon put his hands on his belt and rocked, “It’s a beautiful day, the sun is shining, and Robb got very drunk last night and bet Sansa he could woo me better than she could.”

Jon resisted the urge to curse, all his siblings were competitive, but Sansa and Robb were the most competitive out of all of them. No matter that they were the King in the North and Hand of the King, competition made them both act as though they were five again.

“Let me guess, neither of them forgot that bet this morning and you are preparing to reap the benefits?” Jon said wryly.

“Oh yes,” Theon rubbed his hands together greedily, “The true winner of this competition will be me.”

Jon shook his head and was about to make some comment about not needing to know the details of Theon’s relationship with Robb and Sansa when a crash and a screech alerted him to the fact that Rickon or Arya had just caused some chaos that needed his attention.

He rushed off in the direction of the crash, he could always mock Theon later, for the time being he needed to save his little siblings from their mother’s wrath.

 


 

Robb was not going to lose to Sansa this time. No way.

Not when he had lost their last competition - when they had completed to see who could make Jon laugh first, she had put a Dornish pepper in his food and Jon had laughed at the anguish on his face.

No, Robb was going to woo Theon like he had never been wooed before, he was going to win.

But to win he would need allies, a lesson he had learned in what was now dubbed the ‘War of the Five Kings’. Allies who would not betray him, Jon would be the first he would ask, but he was sure Arya would also take his side.

Bran and Rickon were hopeless, for Sansa knew how best to bribe them and would not share her secret.

Not that Robb would have trusted either of his baby brothers anyway, Rickon was absolutely an agent of chaos and would disrupt any of his plans just for the fun of it. Sansa never had that problem, but then, she could raise her eyebrow just like mother could and all of them were scared of what that eyebrow represented.

Arya was on distraction duty, her job was to keep any of Sansa’s team or their mother away from their schemes. It was an important role, and one that Arya was very good at, especially as it gave her the chance to attack the others with Robb’s blessing.

Jon on the other hand, Robb had a sneakier role in mind for him. It was inspired by the work he had done with the Free Folk - not that he would ever admit such a thing to Jon, not unless he wanted to be beaten around the head with his own crown.

Jon would be going to offer to help Sansa, using complaints that Robb suspected would not be entirely untrue to convince her he wanted to join in. He wasn’t going to question him too much about it though, he got the feeling he wouldn’t want to hear the answers that Jon would give him.

But what to do for his first move in the competition? What move would make Sansa so mad that she would make stupid mistakes?

Robb grinned and rubbed his hands together as an idea struck him, an idea that was sure to annoy Sansa.

 


 

Sansa already knew she was going to win this competition. It was a given. Not only did she have the knowledge necessary to win - and her siblings had mocked her knowledge of romantic songs as useless!- but she had the allies.

Bran and Rickon of course, for she bribed them and their wolves by covering for them for a piece of mischief and by telling them a bedtime story full of blood and gore. But Jon as well, he had come to offer his assistance, citing that Robb would be even more insufferable if he won.

She didn’t trust Jon, didn’t trust that his offer of assistance was not some ploy of Robb’s, but she would use him nonetheless.

“What do you want me to do?” Rickon bounced in place, “We’re going to beat Robb again right?”

“Of course we are.” Sansa ruffled his hair, “He will be insufferable should he win. His ego is big enough with that crown on his head as it is.”

“Oh because that Hand upon your chest has done nothing for your ego.” Jon said in a teasing tone.

“I’m so pleased you agree.” Sansa made her voice as prim as she could.

Rickon’s giggles rang out, and only intensified when Sansa pouted at him with mock offence.

“Anyway little terror, you are on anti-Arya duty. You remember what that means?”

Rickon nodded, “It means distract and stop all of Arya’s work without hurting her or damaging Winterfell.”

It amused Sansa that such stipulations were necessary, but the single time she had not included them Rickon had brought down some of the roof of the kennels on Arya. Mother had not been impressed with any of them then, and even Robb had been sent to bed early without dessert despite being King.

No one went against Catelyn Stark’s orders, not even the King in the North.

Sansa has a four stage plan in mind, admittedly the fourth stage was just to watch the jealousy on Robb’s face as she won again, but everyone agreed that it was a valid part of the plan.

The first part was simple, she would go to the glass gardens and pick a bouquet of all the flowers that Theon liked best.

He pretended not to like gestures like that, but beamed with ever bouquet and preened with every posy she gave him.

To her horror though, there was already someone in the Glass Gardens, someone with red hair and blue eyes and a horrifically smug grin.

“You are predictable, sweet sister.” Robb said smugly, and Sansa wanted to punch that smile off his stupid face.

She didn’t though, apparently punching the King in public was ‘bad for morale’.

She looked at the blooms in his hands, the ones tied with a ribbon of gold and knew exactly what she was going to do next.

Robb was going down.

 

Chapter 2

Notes:

I forgot to say at the start of the previous chapter but this fic spans a number of months because unfortunately Robb and Sansa cannot devote all their time to the competition- they do still have a country to rule after all!

Chapter Text

Robb’s stunt with the flowers had not just made Sansa annoyed, no it had also made her angry. She knew that such a thing was his aim, and yet she could not keep from feeling such a way.

She would not let it make her stupid though, oh no. Instead she would hone it and use it to beat him.

No longer was she going to beat him purely for the joy of beating him, now it was a matter of honour.

Sansa had a secret weapon though, an ally that Robb did not and did not know about. Not that said ally would support Robb anyway, no, Yara Greyjoy always looked at Robb with mild suspicion whereas she had offered more than once for Sansa to leave Theon and take a place at her side instead.

Queen Yara,

I hope that you are well and that your people are prosperous.

I find that I have a favour to ask of you, one with the dual aims of making your brother happy and causing irritation to mine own brother.

My fool of a brother, for you know how foolish brothers can be I am sure, has challenged me to see who can make your brother happiest. In short he has challenged me to see who can romance Theon the best.

I ask aid of you in this challenge. I ask that you help me, for I should like to win.

It is my hope to send for sea foods that Theon does like, ones prepared in a manner that might remind him of the Isles, however there are few here who know of such things. I would ask your opinion of such things, and of merchants I might contact who would be able to deliver such goods to Winterfell.

I know that this is a lot to ask for, but I hope you will aid me in making your brother happy.

Your friend,

Sansa Stark.’

 


 

Robb did not trust his sweet sister. He knew she was angry, and when Sansa was angry she became dangerous.

Except, she did not act as though she was angry. She sang her sweet songs as they worked, she did not glare at him over the desks in their shared solar.

She was plotting something then, something that was likely to humiliate him.

He had taken his fear to Jon, but his brother had merely shook his head and claimed not to know what was going on. Robb trusted Jon about that, he knew his brother would not betray him for Sansa . Although he was not overly sure whether Jon would betray him in order to win a bet of his own; his brother’s honourable nature could sometimes be corrupted by competition between Jon and Theon.

Sansa had ravens flying back and forth, and she ducked into the kitchens with scrolls in her hands. While this was not really unusual behaviour for Sansa, it was suspicious, for her ravens and visits seemed to be happening with a greater frequency than usual.

When he entered the kitchens though, to see what was going on, he was rebuffed firmly but respectfully by the cook. Then again, it was the same cook who had once caught he and Jon stealing blackberry tarts which were cooling on the side as children, so it was likely that he still saw Robb as said child.

Quite a few of the older members of the household in Winterfell had the same reaction to them all, but Robb did not take offence at it. In fact, it was quite nice sometimes to be scolded for sneaking food with no fear for the crown upon his head.

He liked it quite a bit less though when the household was helping Sansa hide things from him. She could charm almost anyone, and while usually her powers were used for good, sometimes she employed them against him.

By the time he found out what Sansa was keeping quiet it was too late to stop, he could only watch as it occurred and plan for how he was going to make her pay.

 


 

Theon choked up as he saw the spread before him, he would deny it later of course, but for now there was no mistaking the wetness of his eyes.

He had not seen such a spread of food since his last nameday with his mother, before the rebellion which killed his brothers and dragged him from her arms.

Scallops and oysters and lobster, thick fish stew lay next to the greenish bread made with seaweed.

It was all food from his childhood, all food that he remembered loving. There was no sign of the traditional mussels or squid that he had hated, meaning that someone had actually spoken to someone who knew him rather than just producing a spread as described in a book. It meant someone had spoken to Yara.

One glance at his lovers told him exactly who was responsible for this, Sansa had a slightly snug air about her, while Robb’s ears had gone red with rage at the tips.

Theon merely stared at the food for a while, for long enough that Rickon tugged at his jerkin in impatience.

“Sansa says we can’t eat until you eat, so hurry up. I’m hungry!”

Theon blinked down at the smallest Stark before letting himself be pulled to sit down at the table in his usual place between Robb and Sansa.

“Thank you for this.” He said softly to Sansa, “And thank you for speaking to Yara as well, I know you couldn’t have planned this without her help.”

Sansa pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, “It is a pleasure to do something that makes you smile like this.”

Theon touched his cheek, suddenly aware of the grin he had been sporting since entering the room, a grin which certainly explained why his cheeks were aching.

Not to be outdone Robb pressed a kiss of his own against Theon’s lips, a soft one which had almost all his younger siblings squealing in disgust. It was the usual reaction from them though, they protested any affection that took place in front of them, just as they had those gestures between Lord Eddard and Lady Catelyn before the King’s visit all those years ago.

He bit into a piece of the stew, and the taste of home flooded his mouth, the warmth of his mother’s arms around him, and the memory of her hand stroking through his hair. He resolved to do something nice for Yara in thanks, and Sansa as well.

And as he looked at the jealous face of Robb he could not help but wonder what exactly he was going to do to top this.

Notes:

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