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Mirjahaal

Summary:

Standing together on the desolate moon after Order 66, Rex and Ahsoka know they should separate.

But they can't. They just can't.

So they don't.

And they discover that they're not as alone as they thought they would be.

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Notes:

Mirjahaal [MEER-Jah-HAHL]: Mando'a word meaning peace of mind, healing, well-being, especially after a trauma or bereavement.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Ahsoka Tano slowly turned away from the mass grave she and Rex had dug for their brothers in arms. 

Brothers that wore her face.

Brothers that shared Rex’s face.

All dead and buried.

A silent tear rolled down her cheek as she walked toward the Y-Wing. The blue of Rex’s armor was striking against the dull, barren moon.

Ahsoka wiped at her eyes as she approached and watched Rex do the same. The waves of pain and hurt that rolled off of him got stronger and stronger as she got closer. He was usually much more guarded… she suspected that his mental shields were too overwhelmed right now. He stared down at the ground—lost in thought, she was sure.

Ahsoka made her way directly in front of him but he still didn’t meet her eyes. She pulled the hood of her cloak down and tentatively reached out a hand to rub his armored arm. The plastoid was cool against her fingers. She hadn’t noticed that when he had grabbed her arm to steady her, to help her stop Maul.

She ran her hand up and down gently in a comforting motion. Rex’s golden-brown eyes finally looked up and met hers, fresh tears pooled and threatened to spill over onto his cheeks.

Rex had cried three times in less than one rotation, something Ahsoka never thought she’d see. It wounded her.

Rex opened his mouth to speak but the only sound that came out was a feeble sob.

That pained sound from Rex drew more tears from her, and the only thing she could do was wrap her arms around him. His armor was jagged and hard against her, but she didn’t care. She needed to hold him.

Rex stood stock-still at the initial embrace, but eventually brought his arms around her small frame to squeeze her tightly to him. He buried his head low in the crook of her neck.

Ahsoka rubbed his armored back as he cried. His tears wet her skin and the fabric of her gray cloak.

The agony he felt matched hers, but still amidst all the pain she felt his relief.

Relief that they were still alive.

Relief that they were together.

She moved her head to place a featherlight kiss on his scarred chin. He mumbled in response of the gesture. Ahsoka felt the movement but couldn’t hear him against her neck. “Rex?”

Rex turned his head to brokenly whisper, “I’m sorry, Ahsoka.”

Ahsoka’s eyes went wide. She shook her head, careful not to jostle him. “I’m sorry too, Rex,” she echoed back. “But neither of us should be. It wasn’t us. It wasn’t them. It wasn’t the G.A.R., and it wasn’t the Jedi.” Her voice was soft, soothing, but an edge appeared with the next words, “It was Sidious.”

The gentle, melancholy tone resumed when she continued, “We were all victims.” 

A wave of anger washed over Rex. Ahsoka knew it wasn’t directed at her.

He pulled away from her abruptly. “Ahsoka, more of the Jedi are dead than my brothers. Most of them are still alive, just—”

“Brainwashed.” Ahsoka cupped one of his cheeks. “They were brainwashed by an evil man to do his bidding. To kill men and women they fought beside and were friends with. They’re victims. I will never blame your brothers for this, Rex.”

Rex rested his forehead against hers and sighed. His voice was gruff, “We’ll need to hide.”

“We will.”

They both knew they should separate. They knew it’d be safer for them both, it’d be easier to stay hidden.

They knew they should separate.

But they couldn’t.

They just couldn’t.

“I won’t leave you, Ahsoka.” Rex was adamant.

She looked up into his golden eyes and nodded once. “And I won’t leave you, Rex.”

It was decided. After all the two of them had been through, they weren’t going to let this tear them apart.

They wouldn’t let it.

“Besides,” Rex began, the tiniest hint of levity in his voice, “I just got you back.” He swiftly brushed his lips against Ahsoka’s forehead.

A ghost of a smile spread across Ahsoka’s face, but it quickly fell. “We need to leave something of yours here.”

Rex reached for his helmet in the Y-Wing.

“No,” Ahsoka interjected, grabbing his hand to stop him. He looked at her. “Please keep your bucket, Rexster.”

His lips upturned for a moment before he unstrapped his pauldron from his shoulders and walked it up to where her lightsaber lie. He took a deep breath before he dropped it gracelessly. It clattered against the hard ground.

He swallowed thickly and marched back toward Ahsoka. “We need to get off this moon,” he said. “Away from…”

Away from the crashed ship.

Away from the moon.

Away from the death.

Just… away.

Ahsoka grasped Rex’s armor-plated hand. “Where can we go?”

“Anywhere away from here. Somewhere we could lay low, live quietly.”

“The Outer Rim, then.” Ahsoka decided. She wracked her brain for a good choice.

She snapped her fingers when one came to her. “Batuu. I’ve never been, but Ana— my Mast—,” she couldn’t bring herself to say his name. Not yet. She didn’t know where he was or if he was even still alive.

What had she felt on the ship before the Order went out?

“He… He told me about it once. It’s described as a ‘good place to get lost’.”

“Just what we need,” Rex said, squeezing her shoulder. “Let’s go.” They hopped into the Y-Wing and Rex entered the coordinates for Batuu. “Are you ready, Ahsoka?”

Ahsoka glanced one last time at her lightsaber on the ground, the helmets—some with her own markings staring back at her, and the wreckage of the Venator. “Yes. Let’s leave, please.”

They took off and headed for the sky. Once out of the atmosphere and into the darkness of space, Rex put them into lightspeed, and they watched the stars elongate and disappear.

Notes:

I've been working on this for about two months, SO nice to get the first chapter up! Woo!

This will be a story of Rex and Ahsoka's journey together post-Order 66. There will be highs and lows and they'll discover that they're not as alone as they thought.

I am going to try and update every few days. The writing is done, but the editing is not. Lol.

Hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading!