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Nothing to Fear

Chapter Text

Her eyes opened slowly.

 

The world around her came in a fuzzy blur, then faded to darkness again. She’d wake up again almost an hour later, but it felt extremely difficult to actually get up. When she did wake up finally, it was to the smell of coffee. At first it didn’t click; she didn’t think twice about the enticing smell from the other room. It wasn’t until she shifted, and she felt a disgusting trickling from between her legs. She shuddered, remembering just why that was happening, and suddenly she felt the urge to gouge out whatever was down there with a spoon and change her underwear. 

 

She thought she loved him. She didn’t say it, of course, she would rather die than admit that thought process aloud. Thinking it was bad enough, and he didn’t need the ego boost of hearing her admit it. Now that she was awake (and thoroughly disgusted), she could tell that her mind was clouded by lust and curiosity. Now that she was awake, she realized that the syringe she used on him the night before was missing, and so was he. While she would normally be overjoyed that he wasn’t in sight, the fact that the syringe was also missing troubled her. 

 

Not to mention that the coffee machine was left on

 

She slipped out of the sheets, shuddering a bit at the chilly morning air, and grabbed her robe off of the end of the bed. She didn’t leave it there, but she assumed it ended up there on accident seeing as she normally kept it on the footboard. 

 

She held the fabric close to her chest, shivering slightly from the cold silk. It wouldn’t help much, but as the morning went on she’d warm up to it. Her bare feet trotted along the wood floors, taking her to the kitchen where Edgar no doubt sat waiting to be fed. She’d be yelled at by him, and she would probably make jokes that he wouldn’t be able to understand about her being at her lowest point. 

 

Her living room was brighter than usual, with the curtains drawn back to let in more light. This time she could actually see the city outside, which was the main reason why her apartment cost so much. The skyline was pretty, with skyscrapers in the distance and a quaint park just across the street from her building. She liked it there, and it quickly became one of the only reasons why she stayed in that city. 

 

Not only were the curtains open, but her dark wood floors were clean. There wasn’t a book or paper in sight, but her shelves were full again. She glared at it, feeling a bit of frustration build up in her. She normally wouldn’t complain about a clean house, but she kept everything in a particular order for a reason. If she left a paper in a certain place, she’d remember it was there, and the same thing went for her books. The sudden tidiness was a surprise, to be sure, but she knew it wouldn’t last too long. 

 

She was going to venture to other corners of her apartment, but her attention was quickly drawn by the sound of soft purring and whispering. She practically felt her heart stop when she realized she wasn’t alone, and her cat was in the presence of that other person. 

 

She knew damn well who did all that, but she wasn’t willing to admit it. 

 

“I have to feed him.” She said as she entered the kitchen. Trager looked up at her, almost startled by the sudden sound of her voice, and for a moment she hoped the fear toxin didn’t completely wear off. 

 

“Already did.” He told her, but this did the opposite of what he wanted. She grimaced and crossed her arms.

 

“He needs a certain amount that I doubt you knew-”

 

“Cat, there’s a little measuring cup in there for him, I’m pretty sure i got it right.” She shut her mouth after that. An almost uncomfortable silence came over them, with only the purs of Edgar saving them from complete silence. She watched as her cat rubbed his head on that man’s hand, and it made her equally as angry as she was disgusted. She let that man touch her , before she tied him up, of course. She was shocked to see that he was still there in the first place, after all, she assumed he got what he wanted. 

 

“I made you coffee.” His voice cut through the silence like a knife, but her words were much sharper.

 

“I’m not touching anything you give me.” 

 

“I didn’t do anything to it-”

 

“Why should I trust you?” She asked, cutting him off quickly to spare her some time. He stared at her, as if she were some secret that would unlock if he looked in the right place. 

 

“I’d say we’re past all this, Cat. I mean, you touched a lot worse than whatever I could do to that coffee last night…” He trailed off when he watched her expression change. She looked like she was going to explode, and he realized that there was nothing he could say or do to change that. 

 

“Alright, I’m sorry, that kinda slipped out.” He muttered, shaking his head, though this did nothing to soothe her. 

 

“I really enjoyed last night, though. I wanna do it again sometime, it’s kinda why I stayed this morning, not gonna lie to you.” She could barely hear his ramblings as her mind started to wander. She thought of every little thing that she hated about him, and found that the one thing that bothered her the most had yet to be addressed. It seemed like he didn’t understand why she would say that she wouldn’t go near anything he’d give her.

 

“You don’t get it.” She finally whispered, which got his full attention. He stopped talking altogether, staring at her with intensity and confusion, as if he were hanging on her every word.

 

“You’re just an experiment to me. That was nothing, and I learned a lot from that little test, so thank you.” She watched an emotion flash in his eyes, one she only saw once, but it was gone just as quickly as it arrived. He practically glared at her.

 

“Just an experiment?” He asked, and for once in his life he genuinely sounded hurt. He stood, making Edgar run off toward her bedroom. She had to look up at him now, but she wouldn’t let that intimidate her. It never did before, so why would she let it then, in her own home of all places?

 

“Baby I made you scream last night! I might’ve been high outta my mind half the time, no thanks to you, but I know that much!” He yelled. His volume did nothing to move her stone-like facade, in fact, she barely jumped at the sudden volume. 

 

“Yes, just an experiment. You forget yourself. I told you this last night, I didn’t think you’d stay. I’m not gonna be someone you get to fuck and forget about, so I figured I’d use this occasion to my advantage!” She shouted back at him.

 

You forget yourself , what are we, in the 1800’s?” He taunted, making her roll her eyes at his comeback. “And I didn’t want this to be it, Cat. I want you! Don’t you see that?” He took her hand, which she promptly ripped away from him, cradling it to her chest as if his mere touch burned her. Tears were flooding her eyes and her heart sped up, reminding her that she feared this exact situation. Heat blistered on her cheeks and she could see the red tint when she looked down. She was blushing, though she was sure it was from embarrassment.

 

“I can’t. I can’t trust you. Not after what you did to Michelle.” She watched as his face dropped. “Yeah, I know about what you did to her and how you’re blackmailing her. I won’t let you do that to me.”

 

She opened her eyes slowly, only to see her bedroom ceiling. The fan buzzed loudly, moving at its fastest setting and making the room much cooler than it normally would be. Her head hurt slightly, and she felt congested. Her head was close to pounding, and she had a feeling it had something to do with the toxin. She knew well enough that she didn’t take any, and she quickly put together the pieces. 

 

“Lovely.” She muttered, knowing how he got rid of that extra ten minutes now. On the bright side, she now knew, and understood why she kept having nightmares all night. 

 

Edgar was on the foot of the bed, purring softly near her feet, warming her up slightly. She took a deep breath, choosing to turn over and get a few more minutes of sleep, bringing the blanket up over her shoulder to shield her from the chill from her fan. However, instead of closing her eyes, they opened wider. She was stunned, at a loss for words. 

 

Trager was staring at her with the same expression, though he looked more scared than she did. She wondered for a moment if she was talking in her sleep, but she realized that this was most likely the case. What else could she have said to him the night before that would cause such a worried look?

 

She admitted that she knew what he’d done. 

 

“Morning?” She muttered, as if that would make the situation any better. He didn’t say a word, though she doubted he would. “I didn’t think you’d be here this morning.” She admitted, albeit quieter than she’d said it in her dream. 

 

“That lying bitch told you, huh?” His voice was as icy as the temperature in her room. For once, he actually frightened her. His actions frightened her instead of the idea of him loving her. This time the threat felt more real, and she felt her body go numb. 

 

“Fuck. No, this can’t happen.” He sat up, but she reached out and grabbed his hand. She wasn’t sure what she was doing, it was as if her body was operating on autopilot. 

 

“You do know she was lying, right? Do you actually believe her?” He asked, this time a bit more frantically than before. She stared up at him with glassy eyes, and he felt himself being pulled back to her, though not physically. It was like her stare was holding him back. He was angry and scared all at once, but her expression told him something. It told him that she was scared. He liked to think he knew Cat, and what he did know about her was that she didn’t get scared. 

 

Her expression told him everything he needed to know. Michelle told her, and she believed her. He was shocked she let him get that close to her knowing what she knew, and yet there she was, begging him to stay with only her eyes. She would never ask him to stay out loud, but he knew what she truly wanted, so he leaned back. 

 

“She’s trying to ruin my life, Cat. God, you and Jer are the only ones I have left. You get me, doc.” He said, his gaze fixated on the wall instead of her. She had a hard time believing him, but she gave him the benefit of the doubt. “Don’t do this.” He practically growled, and this time she felt his hand squeezing hers. She wasn’t sure if he was about to cry or not, but she hoped he wasn’t. She didn’t deal well with people crying, mostly due to her not knowing how to act. 

 

“I believe her, Ricky.” She muttered, not noticing that she called him this. He caught on though, whether she realized it or not. He pulled her closer, smashing his lips to hers in an intense, passionate kiss. 

 

Next thing she knew, she was on top of him again. He was sliding her underwear down her thighs again, hiking her nightgown up around her waist and pressing himself against her. This had to have been the worst time for them to do this, but that wouldn’t stop them. 

 

He flipped her over. This time he wanted control, and she wasn’t going to complain. He needed this, though that hardly factored into her decision. 

 

Edgar hopped off of the bed and ran into the living room, leaving the duo alone as they sealed the deal on their strange relationship.