Work Header

Bored Espada

Work Text:

Sighing, Grimmjow rolled to his back. He spent the last few hours staring at the ceiling of his room. It was cracked and a bit scorched at the places where he tried to Cero it. Surprisingly, the ceiling withstood his attacks. Point for whoever built Las Noches.

Still, blasting the ceiling with some spare spiritual pressure didn´t help the blue haired man. He was bored, but most of Espada went for a mission and the only ones left at Las Noches were Harribel, Stark, Ulquiorra and Szayel. Stark was most likely asleep, Harribel didn´t talk to anyone but her Fracción and Grimmjow definitely didn´t want to “help” with another one of Szayel´s experiments.

That left Ulquiorra. Who was pretty boring on his own, so he probably wouldn´t help Grimmjow either. Scratch that, he wouldn´t even try to help. Having fun was most likely against his beliefs. Seriously, Grimmjow never met someone as apathetic as Ulquiorra.

On the other hand, the black-haired man was quite strong, so maybe they could at least fight a bit. That could turn Grimmjow´s day more interesting. And it might kill him too, but where´s fun without little danger?

Already feeling a bit more excited, Grimmjow jumped up and walked out of the room. He headed down the hall and banged his fists against Ulquiorra´s door.

“Hey! You in there?” he yelled. “Ulquiorra!”

After a moment, the door opened and Grimmjow stared down at smaller Espada. Ulquiorra had the same impassive expression as ever.

“What do you want, Sexta?”

“Hey, fight me,” Grimmjow said without greeting.


“Fight me. I´m bored and there´s nothing to do,” Grimmjow demanded, clenching his fists. Good fight would surely entertain him and he would probably recover before the others return so he wouldn´t have to explain anything.

But Ulquiorra, naturally, didn´t seem interested. “No.”

“Don´t be coward, Ulquiorra!”

Ulquiorra turned the unblinking gaze up to Grimmjow. “No. Your boredom doesn´t concern me.”

“Then what do you want to do?” Grimmjow growled, pushing strands of blue hair out of his face. He was bored enough to try anything, even nail painting again. Unfortunately, it didn´t seem like Ulquiorra had any plans.

“Go bother someone else,” he said.

Snorting, Grimmjow tried to push his way inside Ulquiorra´s room, but shorter Espada easily blocked him. “Come on. Is there really nothing you want to do? What about we… uh… went to human world and observed humans or something? To learn new stuff?” he exclaimed, remembering that Ulquiorra seemed to be curious about mortals.

Slowly, Ulquiorra tilted his head to side. “If I wanted to go to human world, I could go on my own,” he said.

“I know a place where they make great ice creams. Oh, I´d like some ice cream,” Grimmjow said, thoughtfully.

“There´s nothing interesting about ice,” Ulquiorra said, interrupting Grimmjow´s happy memory of various ice creams. “It´s just frozen water.” He reached for the door to close it, but Grimmjow quickly caught the edge.

“No, it´s not. Ice cream has hundreds of different flavours and humans eat is as dessert. And it´s good!” he insisted. “I tried it the last time when I was in human world. The chocolate one with mint was pretty cool. Come on, I´ll show where to get it.”

“Hmm.” Ulquiorra softly hummed and looked over Grimmjow. “All right,” he decided, suddenly. “Let´s go.”

“What? Really?” Surprised, Grimmjow barely stepped to side in time to let Ulquiorra pass. The other Espada started swiftly walking down the hall.

“Are you coming?” he asked over his shoulder and Grimmjow quickly followed.

They both portalled to human world. Once they reached it, Grimmjow took charge and he lead them to a small ice cream stand. He pointed Ulquiorra to showcase with colourful ice creams and waved a hand over them.

“Choose what you want.”

“I want to see how you buy this while humans can´t see you,” Ulquiorra retorted, watching Grimmjow closely.

“Damn, that. Yes.” Flustered, Grimmjow looked around. “Oh, wait. We´re the bad guys, we can just steal it!” he exclaimed. “I´ll get chocolate and strawberry. You grab what you want.” He cracked his fingers and prepared to grab the whole container of ice cream. “Ready?”

Sighing, Ulquiorra shrugged. “Fine.”

When Grimmjow grabbed the containers with his favourite ice creams, Ulquiorra took hold of one as well. Then the Espada quickly Sonido-ed away, leaving confused, screaming humans behind. They only stopped a few blocks away on an empty rooftop.

Grimmjow sat down cross-legged and pulled his loot close. “Shit, I should have grabbed some cones too,” he muttered, trying to figure out how to eat the ice cream from the containers.

“I have some spoons,” Ulquiorra offered, pulling a spoon out of his picket.

Grimmjow suspiciously raised his eyebrows. “What the fuck? Why?”

Shrugging, Ulquiorra handed one spoon to him. “The woman sometimes throws cutlery around when she´s frustrated. I keep a few spare ones so I can feed her.”

“Feed her? Really?”

“It wasn´t necessary yet,” Ulquiorra retorted. “She responds very well to direct threats.”

“Sweet. Whatever.” Shaking his head, Grimmjow turned his attention back to ice cream and dug in. “Mmm, this shit is good. Why don´t we have it in Hueco Mundo?”

“It´s human food, we don´t need it,” Ulquiorra retorted, talking a spoon of white ice cream and lifting it to his face to observe it.

Grimmjow pointed to it with his chin. “What flavour did you take?”


“Why? Because it´s sour?”

“Is it?” Ulquiorra slowly slipped the spoon between his lips and licked the ice cream off. Then he pulled the spoon out. His Adam´s apple moved as he swallowed, his expression never changing. “Indeed. But no, I chose it because it´s white.”

Snorting, Grimmjow looked back at his own ice cream. “Of course you did.”