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Leaving Yesterday Behind

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Lost his manager.
Damn!
He needs to run... Where???
Of course... Car...

Kim Jongin, ran as fast as he can to the basement parking lot of the mall. He can't even go to the mall without being mobbed. Fuck, he's getting too old for this kind of shit.

He leans on a compact yellow car parked near him, too tired to move. A sudden slam of a car door startled him.

"Yah! Get out of the way before I run over you." A deep voice, though not shouting, conveys anger.

"Can I just rest here a bit. I-"

Jongin was interrupted by a loud "NO!"

"But-" Jongin tried to reason out but the fans he was trying to hide from suddenly surrounded them. Camera flashes blinded them and screams almost renders them deaf.

"Please no... Stop" helplessly he tries to protect the unknown man from this crazy mob. He looks panic stricken.

"Kai!"

Thank God, he has never been so glad to hear that voice, his manager is here.

Security dispersing the fans and every thing seems ok now when:

"PAPA!!!" a small voice wailed in the vicinity of the car followed by loud sobs…

 

"Oh no! My daughter."

This gorgeous guy has a child?

The said guy ran to the other side of the car and took something or rather someone riding on a car seat. A sobbing beautiful little girl, with eyes resembling her father and a prominent pout which looks familiar.

"We are so sorry, Mr-" Manager Jaewoo began to apologize.

"Do. Name is Do Kyungsoo. For heaven's sake please take care of that...that nuisance. My baby is going to be traumatized because of him."

Gently patting his daughter's back trying to calm her down.

"Hush baby, Papa is here." The man softly whispers to his child.

Jongin is in awe. He has always like kids and this one although crying is so pretty.

So instead of talking to the hostile dad, he approached the baby.

"Hello sweetheart..."

The little girl who had been nuzzling her face on her Papa's neck, looks up and when she saw the stranger she smiled and said "Hi!"

Kyungsoo was shocked. Mirae is a shy girl.

"I'm sorry about all that. Were you scared?" Jongin tentatively held out his hand and was rewarded with a small fist squeezing his index finger and a timid nod.

 

"If uncle Jongin says sorry, will you forgive me? I don't want you to be scared." Jongin gently tells the little girl.

To everyone's surprise, Mirae extended her arms to Jongin, asking to be held. Jongin took her carefully, mindful of the little girl's father who gave him a piercing glare.

"Mirae is ok now. But uncle also need to say sorry to Papa." The girl points to her glaring father.

"Papa! No angry eyes please." With that, Jongin snickers. Then faces the kid's dad.

"I apologise for disrupting your day Mr. Do." He formally says.

Then turn to Mirae fiddling with his collar,
"Is that ok? Mirae? That's your name, right?" The said girl squirmed in his arms.

Places both arms around his neck and plants a kiss on his cheeks.

The girl giggles.

"Mirae ok now, Papa ok now." The cheeky little girl says.

Jongin reluctantly returns the adorable little girl to her dad.

"Again I'm sorry for disturbing you today. Mirae is an adorable girl, you and her mama must be proud."

Kyungsoo stiffened. But said nothing. Instead Mirae blurted, "But Mirae has no mama, Papa said he carried me in his tummy."

"That's enough!" Kyungsoo said.

Harshly enough for the baby's lips to quiver and pout.

Sighing, Kyungsoo hugged the little girl.
"We need to go."

And they go on their separate ways.

~~

Jongin was quiet on the way home. His manager looks at him now and then sensing something.

"Are you ok?" His manager asks.

"Yeah, just a bit puzzled though"

"What's puzzling you?"

"Mirae. Seems I've seen her before. I-she looks familiar." Jongin just couldn't place on where he has seen her or why she looks familiar.

The disturbing thought followed him home.

~~

"Hyung, can you find out more about Do Kyungsoo? I just...I don't know, just find out more about him please? Not the detailed kind but... Maybe you know what I mean."

His manager looked at Jongin thoughtfully.

"Doing that would offend Mr Do. Here's what you can do, maybe we can find out his contact number or something then work from there. When you want to know someone you have to work hard for it. That's sincerity."

With a final wave of goodbye, his manager left Jongin with full of thoughts.

~~

 

Do Kyungsoo's life may not be perfect but he is at peace and is happy. And a big part of that happiness is nestles in the warmth of his arms. His daughter Mirae. He never would have thought that the peace he's now experiencing is about to be shaken.

 

"Papa, why Mirae has no mama? Or 'nother Dada?"

Those innocent eyes looks at him in question. To which he has no answer. All the answers he has is not fit for an innocent child.

So he smiles and say,
"Now baby, am I not enough for you? Are you not happy with me?"

He diverts his baby's attention by tickling her and is rewarded by peals of laughter.

"No.. no papa. No tickle Mirae."

But the baby was not diverted.

"Papa, Mirae ask you…"

Stubborn like him, he shakes his head. He decides to answer as honestly and as vaguely as he can.

"Because baby, you are enough for me. We are happy, are we not?"

"But Papa, why you cry sometimes when Mirae sleep? Papa is sad with Mirae?"

Kyungsoo is surprised by his baby's questions.

"No love, papa is always happy when I am with you." He assures his daughter, wondering how Mirae caught him crying at night.

"Now its late, you better sleep because papa has work tomorrow and you will go to uncle Baek in the morning until after nap time. Then papa will come and pick you up after work, ok?"

Mirae is good and doesn't make a fuss when its time to sleep.

He kisses her forehead and covers her with a blanket.

At the even breathing he assumes his daughter is asleep.

With a sigh, he gets up to avoid being heard. And went to the living room. And took out the only memory of Mirae's daddy. A bracelet with an engraving of KJI.

~~

 

4 years ago

 

"Kyungie, come on... You gotta come. Lots of hotshot guys would be there."

Baekhyun, Kyungsoo's best friend whines.

 

"You know I hate parties Baek, and I still live with my parents, they wont allow me to come." Kyungsoo gave an excuse but Baek is having none of it.

"I told your mom when I came in that we have a school report we are doing at home and you'll stay overnight." Baek smiled triumphantly.

"God Baek you're too much!" Exasperated Kyungsoo mock pushed Baek on the bed.

"Yah! Its our final year at university, you need to loosen up!"

Baek has a point. Kyungsoo's parents are very strict. Since he has a carrier gene they are much more strict towards him.

"You might get pregnant before you finish college." Was what they always say. He always feels so suffocated, even if he knows they are doing it for his own good.

At the party, the thing he fears the most happens, Baek abandons him. Saw a tall, nice looking guy with big ears and poof! Baek disappeared.

Trying to find someone he knows so he has someone to talk to, he drank a few cupfuls of dubious looking drinks and found himself dancing. The effects of those drinks are intoxicating. His inhibitions flying out the window.

And whoa!

A gorgeous looking guy suddenly dances in front of him.

"Hey prrrretty babiiiee!"

The guy looks smashed. Eyes half closed and rhythm of his dance uncoordinated but still, he's one of the prettiest guys he has eve seen.

Granted he is also as drunk as a lord but…

His eyes work just fine.

When the gorgeous male clasps Kyungsoo's waist and begins grinding onto him, he's a goner.

"Fuck, you're so pretty. And those lips are made for kissing." As the taller male kisses Kyungsoo, thoughts of anything but this hot, sexy male flew from his mind.

As the said male pulled him into an empty room, their kisses became so aggressive. Lips smacking, tongue suckling and hands roaming.

Fervent moaning was heard when clothes removed, skin touches skin.

"Name..." Kyungsoo said. Delirious but adamant.

"What?" The other questions while busily licking Kyungsoo's nipples.

"Ahhhh...Your name..." Kyungsoo moans…

"I wont have sex with someone I don't know"

"Jongin, Kim Jongin." Came the reply, then Kyungsoo was hauled to the bed and all that was heard in the room was moans of ecstasy.

 

When Kyungsoo woke up a few hours later, he was alone. The only indication that he was with someone was the number of hickeys found on his body & the ache on his back.

Head throbbing from the hangover, he sluggishly picked up his clothes, surprised that its all neatly folded.

 

There on top of his folded shirt was a bracelet.

 

~~

 

The present…

 

Kyungsoo finds himself crying again.

Damn! Enough Kyungsoo... He scolds himself.

He can't help but feel anger towards Kim Jongin. Because in a span of a few months, his parents disowned him after finding out he's pregnant. Kicked out of his own home, he is alone, jobless and without a home. It was only Baek and his parents who helped him survive. He owed them a lot.

He found a job at a bakery so that he could save for his delivery. Male carrier's pregnancy and delivery are more expensive. So he needs to save a lot. Good thing he was always good in cooking and baking. Since he hasn't finished college this job is perfect for him.

His pregnancy was a difficult one, he had morning sickness till his 3rd trimester. A good thing that Baek and his parents are very supportive and caring. But all the hardships and pain was worth it when he held Mirae in his arms for the first time.

Fate has been playing with him. Although Mirae has his eyes, all the other features were Jongin's. From that cute nose to the puffy pouty lips. And as Mirae grows older, she has been getting a bit darker. Sun-kissed like her other father.

He stood up and placed the bracelet in his wallet. He wanted to throw it away, to remove all the memories of that fateful night but he can't.

Smirking to himself, he can never forget that night since the biggest reminder of that incident is his daughter.

 

Lying on the bed beside his daughter, there is suddenly a soft murmur "Crying again Papa?" Then Mirae snuggled up to him, maybe trying to comfort her papa. He kissed her forehead softly and went to sleep.

 

~~

 

Jongin is restless. He can't forget Do Kyungsoo and that pretty daughter of his, Mirae. He needs to do something, but what?

On their way to a photoshoot he suddenly craves for some bread.

There! A bakeshop with drinks too.
"Hyung STOP!" He shouts as they almost pass it by.

The car sudden halts & manager-nim was annoyed.

"What now, Jongin? That was a dangerous thing to do."

Jongin just took off his seat belt and just as he was opening the car door his manager grabbed his arm.

"Are you out of your mind? There are lots of people, you'll get mobbed."

"But I want some bread and latte." Jongin whines.

"What's wrong with you nowadays? Most of the time you are either thinking too much or not thinking at all. You get all spaced out at one time or you'll get reckless the next. It's making my job difficult."

Jongin is restless. He has been feeling this restlessness for the past few days, he's going insane.
"I'm sorry hyung, its just that..." He cuts himself off and sighs. Shaking his head trying to figure out how to explain it when he suddenly got shookt.

A familiar figure was seen talking to a slim but tall man with sharp features.

Wait, what??? Do Kyungsoo is talking, no scratch that, he's smiling while talking to that noodle of a man. He-

Without thinking AGAIN he reached for the car door and ran out…

Then he heard screams…

 

"KAI!!!! KAI!!!! AHHHHHH! IT'S KAI!!!"

 

Suddenly he is surrounded by a handful of fans. And he sees Kyungsoo's brows furrow in annoyance. An out of breath manager manages to catch up and asks Jongin's fans to step back because Jongin is in his personal time and needs privacy.

As the girls went on their way, Jongin manages to go to the bakeshop seeing the now alone Kyungsoo with a furious expression.

"What the heck are you doing here now? Was it not enough to traumatize my daughter? You had to bring chaos to my shop too?"

"But I...you... you own this bakeshop?" Jongin stutters in surprise.

Kyungsoo doesn't reply & just glares at him.

"I just want to b-" Jongin starts to say when he was interrupted by a low but menacing voice:
"Leave!"

"But-"

"I said LEAVE. Stop disrupting my life!" Kyungsoo yells.

"Come on Jongin, lets go.." Jongin's manager pulls him towards the car.

"But hyung, I just want to..." Jongin's manager covers his mouth and bows to Kyungsoo.

"We are so sorry for the disturbance. We will leave now" the manager apologizes as he pushes Jongin inside the car.

"Hyung I wanted to talk to him, why did we leave?"

Jongin is annoyed, he hasn't gotten his bread, saw Kyungsoo talking, no, smiling and talking to a noodle person and wasn't able to talk to his crush…

WAIT, WHAT???
NO... OH NO... NO, NO, NO!
KYUNGSOO IS NOT HIS CRUSH!

He's not some high school adolescent with his first crush, goddamnit! He's a grown man and Kyungsoo is...uh, Kyungsoo has a daughter.

Yes that's it! He's off limits coz he has a daughter.

But he's not married though, a small voice whispers inside his head. He's cute too…

"Aaaaarrrrgh!" Jongin exclaims frustratingly. Which earned him a side glance from his manager.

"Maybe I should cancel your other schedules tomorrow. You should have yourself checked by a doctor."

"No...Am not sick" Jongin replied sulkily

"Sick on the head, maybe?"

"HYUNG!!!"

His manager snickers, earning an annoyed huff from Jongin.

"You should have seen yourself just now, you look like you are having conflicts with yourself. I just hope you are not going crazy on me.." Jongin's manager teases him but there is a grain of truth in his words.

Jongin may have been drinking again just like 4 years ago…

Jongin was just beginning his career then as a model. And he suddenly shot up in popularity because of his unique good looks and model perfect body. The work pressure and fatigue really got to him and to de-stress he started partying and drinking.

Found him one night passed out on the floor in a room with another person. He had seizures from fatigue and drinking so much. He had to stay in the hospital for several days with no recollection on what had happened.
Jongin's life changed for the good that day. He tried to balance.

He balances work with play. Never drinking again. When asked about what happened in the party before he collapsed, he shakes his head and recalls nothing.

The Manager never mentioned the other person sleeping in the bed covered in blankets with only hair sticking out.

Not wanting to make mountains out of anthills. Just another hook up he thinks, Jongin has plenty of those at the beginning of his career. It has stopped since that incident.

Jongin has only one regret. He lost the only memory he has of his dad. The bracelet with his initials, KJI

 

~~

 

Kyungsoo is really tired. He has to fulfill numerous orders, including pastries for Mr Oh Sehun's office meeting. And that idiot creating a scene in front of his bakeshop didn't help with the stressful day. Parking in front of Baek's house, dragged himself in to get his baby

It was fortunate enough that Baek works from home, adjacent to his house is a small studio in which he teaches vocal lessons. He is willing enough to babysit Mirae ever since he had enough money to invest in a bakeshop which has since been doing well.

 

"Mirae, baby, Papa's here."

He calls out as he enters the house with a spare key that Baek has given him. Puzzled at the lack of response, he went to look around. The kitchen, living room and studio are all empty so he heads to the bedroom that Mirae usually uses when she is here. He almost bump onto Baek.

"Kyungsoo! Thank god, I was about to call you. Mirae has been fussy all day. I thought it was just from lack of sleep or just cranky, we all have those days right? But after giving her cookies she suddenly had nosebleed and now has fever. She's asleep but restless."

Baek looks too worried from a simple fever.

"What else Baek? You look too worried." Now he is also worried. He doesn't need this. He is so tired.

"Her nosebleed comes on and off and now her gums are also bleeding. I think she needs to go to the hospital... I'm sorry Soo." His friend looks contrite.

"Not your fault Baek, I'm her father, I should have been the one taking care of her." Kyungsoo scoops his daughter in his arms. Baek grabs Mirae's baby bag of clothes and stuff.

"I'll drive." Baek offers.
"Thanks. Let's hurry." Kyungsoo says as he strides to the car.

 

~~

 

Baek has to leave since he has evening lessons. Kyungsoo is alone. He almost cries with every needle that pierced his baby's skin. Every drop of blood taken for testing breaks his heart for he knew how scary and painful it is for his child.

He has never been this scared in his life. He was brave when he was kicked out by his parents, homeless and pregnant. He had Baek back then. But now Baek has his own life too, although helping as much as he can, he is not Mirae's father.

Would it be different if... He stops his thoughts… No! Never! He will try to be strong for Mirae.

He purposely stops himself from thinking of things that can never be. He was abandoned and forgotten by Mirae's father. Mirae and I are fine without him.

Painful memories suddenly flooded in his mind. Worming in as he desperately tries not to remember.

 

***

 

Kim Jongin.

Kyungsoo saw him and his friends enter an empty classroom. He decided to return the bracelet that was left on his shirt. It looks expensive, maybe it was left by mistake. As he neared the room he hears some boisterous laughter. "Heard you got laid Kai."

The voice teased…

"Yah! Its still Jongin to you guys. Kai is just a silly alias. The agency thinks Jongin is too tame." Jongin protested.

Kyungsoo decided to listen first before going on with returning the bracelet.

"Don't change the subject, have you gotten laid?"

"Uh yeah, maybe. I can't remember. Got sick after that though. Maybe he's just bad news." Jongin mused

Laughter erupted.

"And forgettable too. Cause you can't even remember his face."

Another laughter.

"Don't worry he's just another dumb kid who took advantage of your body, rising super model Kai aka Kim Jongin! Not worth your time." His friend nudged Jongin then snickers thinking his comments are witty.

Not seeing the frown on Jongin's face, and the heaviness in his heart.

Nobody is aware of Jongin's feelings...

 

Kyungsoo burst into tears. HE's THE dumb kid. He harbored some hope when he saw the bracelet. Thinking Jongin wanted him to have it and that it meant something special.

Well he's wrong. Jongin thinks he's forgettable & 'bad news'. He ran as fast as he can, away from Kim Jongin.

 

~~

He jerks awake when a hand touches his shoulder.
"Mr Do? The doctor would like to talk to you in his office. I'll be taking care of Mirae for the meantime & give her a sponge bath. An orderly is waiting outside to take you to the doctor's office."
A smiling nurse informs him.

"Thank you." Holding Mirae's hand he tries to reassure his baby, "Papa will be back soon ok? Be good to your nurse unnie." At the little girls nod, he kissed her forehead and went out to talk to the doctor.

"She has mild aplastic anemia."
At Kyungsoo's confused gaze, the doctor explains further.

"Her blood cell count is lowered and she will need transfusion. Which we can provide, but it would be ideal if the parent is the donor. But when prolonged transfusion, there would be time that even transfusion would fail. Let us just hope that since we found it out at an earlier stage, there won't be a need for bone marrow transplant. I suggest you and your partner be tested for blood and bone marrow compatibility with Mirae."

"But Dr Zhang, Mirae's other dad...we...we are not together." Kyungsoo says softly.
"Im sorry but it would be best for Mirae if you try your best to contact your partner. It would give Mirae a better chance for a cure."
Dr Zhang tries his best to encourage the sad looking father.

 

~~

"Baek, what am I going to do?" Kyungsoo laments on the phone as tears of frustration flows down his cheek. "There is no other way Kyungie," Baek's sigh is heard through the phone, "find Mirae's dad. You said you know him, but never told me who. I respect your privacy but..."

"I know Baek, I'm sorry. I know you're hurt because I didn't trust you with the name of Mirae's dad. It's really difficult for me to talk about him." And he's famous and has the power to disrupt our lives, he adds silently. Mirae deserves to have a normal and peaceful life.

"Kyungie, have yourself tested first, it may be a match and you wont have to tell Mirae's other dad but..." Baek sucks in a breath, determined to make Kyungsoo see that his pride is not the important thing right now. "Kyungie if you want Mirae to get well in the best possible way you have to lower your pride and forget the past. Mirae's health is the most important thing right now. I know you can do it Kyungie. Sorry I can't be there, but I'll drop by your house early tomorrow morning to get some clothes and necessities for you and Mirae. For now, rest"

After his conversation with Baekhyun, he feels he has been hit where it hurts the most, his pride. He'll gladly beg if it means his baby will get well.

"Papa?" A small weak voice calls him from the hospital bed.

"Mirae, baby, papa is here."

He discretely wipes his tears as he steps near the bed.

"You crying papa? Why are you sad?" His innocent baby asks.

"Because you are sick and I want you to be well. Why did you wake up? Does something hurt?"

A wince is her answer.
"Everything hurts." The baby pouts. That little pout always makes him weak.

A pout so familiar, he only saw recently. While Jongin was a tough guy before, he's now a sulky, pouty person when he doesn't get what he wants. Like the time at the bakeshop.
Does Jongin deserve to know his daughter? Kyungsoo doesn't think so, but as Baek says, Mirae comes first.

 

~~

 

 

"Kim Jongin." Kyungsoo says.

"WHO?????" At Baekhyun's loud exclamation, Kyungsoo glared at him to keep it down. Mirae is sleeping.

"I said Kim Jongin." Kyungsoo hissed, still annoyed at Baekhyun.

At the latter's puzzled look he hissed another word : "Kai, the model."

"Oh my god Kyungie, you are so lucky-" Baek is cut off by an angry Kyungsoo.

"More on the unlucky side. Unlucky to have sex with an uncaring and cold guy. Irresponsible enough to forget who he slept with. I don't want him near my innocent, loving and beautiful baby girl."

"Have you thought about it?" Baek asks.

"Thought about what?"

"Oh god Kyungsoo, about contacting Kim Jongin, you idiot!" Baek is really frustrated with his best friend.

Kyungsoo sighs, "I don't have a choice, do I? If my tests are negative to compatibility then I'll find a way to contact him.."

Suddenly Kyungsoo paces the room…

"For fucks sake how do you tell someone you had sex with him 4 years ago and you have a child when he doesn't even remember you? And what if he denies that Mirae is his? Oh god, I can't do this."

"Yah, Kyungsoo, relax. We'll take it one step at a time." Baekhyun comforts him.

 

~~

 

Kyungsoo had his physical check up and testing done within that day. He was able to provide blood for Mirae's transfusion but
"Mr Do, you are bordering on the lower side of normal in blood cells. You can't do it on your own. I'm sorry if I had to add another problem but your marrow compatibility came out negative. It is a big possibility that Mirae is compatible with her other parent." Dr Zhang gives him a sad look.
"Dr Zhang, the patient is bleeding again." The nurse calls out to them. Hearing that, Kyungsoo's heart drops. He needs to do something immediately.

 

~~

 

After the emergency, Kyungsoo quietly sobs as his baby sleeps. His 3 year old baby is too young to suffer like this. Mirae's once healthy and rosy cheeks are now pale and wan. My poor baby, he cries.
Resolved to do anything for his child, he searches for Kai's agency number.

Contacting his manager, he asks for an appointment to talk with Kim Jongin. Not Kai the model but Jongin as a normal person. And since Kyungsoo was the person they had bothered twice in the past, the manager gave him a schedule to talk with Jongin as a favor.

"Would it be feasible for you to come over to our agency? I'm sure you wouldn't want to be mobbed again." The manager suggests. Kyungsoo agreed and after arriving at a common schedule opening, they ended the phone call.

~~

 

To say Kyungsoo is nervous would be an understatement. He is a nervous wreck. Arriving at the SM Agency a few minutes early, he composed himself in his car. Wearing nice button down shirt, slacks & his less scruffy shoes. He wanted to look decent & sincere. Mirae needs this. With a deep breath he exits his car.

The receptionist smiled at him asking if he has an appointment.

"I have an appointment with Mr Park Jaewoo at 3pm." Kyungsoo answered promptly.

"3rd floor mini conference room. Blue door. You can't miss it." The receptionist smiled as she directed him to the elevators.

He doesn't even have a plan on how he is going to explain all this. But he brought the bracelet now in a cloth pouch inside his pocket.

He had it cleaned.

Jongin might not like it if he sees Kyungsoo take it out from his wallet looking tarnished. A step to buttering up, he mused.

Knocking thrice outside the blue door, it was opened promptly by the manager Mr Park.
"Come in and have a seat." He directed Kyungsoo near the cluster of soft chairs where Jongin sat smiling at him.

"May we know why you asked for this meeting?" Manager Park asked.

 

Restlessly fidgeting, Kyungsoo looked from Jongin to his manager.
"Actually, I don't know where to start but maybe this will help me explain..." Kyungsoo took out the cloth pouch from his pocket and gave it to Jongin.
Opening the pouch, Jongin pours the contents on his palm.
"Hyung! Its the bracelet I lost." Jongin exclaimed. "You found it! Where was it? Where did I lost it?" The model asks with excitement.
In contrast Kyungsoo's shoulders drooped in sadness.

"You really lost it? So you really didn't leave it on top of my shirt?"

On top of- wait WHAT?
Jongin was confused…

"C-could you tell me when and where you found this?"
Kyungsoo closed his eyes. Confusion and mortification marred his face, struggling to find words to explain.

"Four years ago. At Kris Wu's party. I...you...we..." Kyungsoo stutters to a stop, his face red.

"We had sex." Jongin helpfully supplies.

Kyungsoo covered his tomato red face, moaning in shame. "Yes." He whispers almost inaudibly.

"Hyung, I think its better we talk about this alone." Jongin addresses his manager.

"But its better if I-"

But Jongin interrupts him,
"Don't you think he's mortified enough discussing this with you listening? I'll be fine." Jongin assures his manager. And with a few urging he left Jongin and Kyungsoo alone.

"Now that we're the only ones here, can you explain all this?"

"As I said, it was 4 years ago. We were drunk I think and...and we...we had s-sex." Jongin secretly smiles at Kyungsoo's reluctance on using the word sex. Surely he's not an innocent. He has a daughter after all.

After a bit of throat clearing, Kyungsoo continues,
"W-we fell asleep, or maybe j-just me. When I woke up, y-you were gone and I...I saw that bracelet on top of my folded shirt. I r-really thought you left it there cause we never bothered to fold our clothes when we...threw them b-before we... Oh god!" Kyungsoo hid his face again.

But determined to do everything for Mirae he went on, "I assumed too much I g-guess. But after a while I thought I should return the bracelet to you." His words became faster when unpleasant memories surfaced. "I followed you one day at the university wanting to talk, but..."
Kyungsoo bit his lips, trying to control his emotions releasing a shuddering sigh. "I overheard you and your friends talking about you getting laid at the party and forgetting about it. And about me being some dumb kid taking advantage of you... I-after hearing that I ran away."

 

Jongin sat silently, listening. Feeling sad for Kyungsoo, he was just some egoistical newbie model back then. Drinking and partying was his outlet from the pressure and stress of being a public figure. All this happened just before his wake up call, his seizure.

 

"Kyungsoo, I... I'm sorry. I apologise for being such a jerk back then. Was it, I mean was I your um, first?"

Jongin is afraid of the answer, he might have scarred this beautiful sensitive man for life.

"Yes.." was the timid answer he heard.
Oh god! He is such an asshole for taking advantage of an innocent.

"Were you alright? I mean, I wasn't rough on you? Did I hurt you?"

"No, you were, um, c-careful when we...when you..." that beautiful face became as red as a tomato again and Jongin was entranced.

 

"So you are just gonna bring this to me?" Taking pity of the mortified male, Jongin changes the subject.

"Yes and no... I mean, there is more..." Kyungsoo is flustered, he needs to finish this but doesn't know how.

"More?" Jongin prompts.

Kyungsoo suddenly stood up and began pacing the floor.

Come on Kyungsoo, you can do this.

 

"I... I have a carrier gene. I-" He began.

"Oh, I thought you... I mean, I didn't know-Oh fuck, I'm bad at explaining things. Ok go on, sorry for interrupting." Jongin mimed a zipped mouth.

Kyungsoo swallowed, his mouth is suddenly parched. He wets his lips with is tongue.

Jongin looking at Kyungsoo at that time saw that unconsciously sensual movement and Jongin's felt a zing of heat pass through his body, zeroing his groin.

God he's pretty, he exclaims to himself.
Trying to fix his suddenly tight jeans, he missed some of Kyungsoo's words.

".....pregnant."
"Huh?" Jongin suddenly sat up at the word.

"I mean, I know you must be skeptical-"Kyungsoo continues, thinking that Jongin is simply questioning his words.

"No! No... Start again please,
who's pregnant?"

"Me. I am pregnant.. ah no! You are confusing me... I mean after we...we had s-sex, I became pregnant." Kyungsoo stumbled through the explanation.

Jongin's jaw drops even further when he hears Kyungsoo's next sentence.

"I gave birth to our daughter, Mirae."

Before Jongin could say anything, who is still in shock by the way, Kyungsoo wants to assure him.

"I am not asking for money or anything, I did not came here for that. The reason I am here is that Mirae needs you. She is sick."

At that statement, Jongin feels the blood drain from his face. The shock of finding out he has a daughter is a shock. But finding out his daughter is sick makes him jolt out of his seat and kneels in front of Kyungsoo.

"Where is she? I want to see her. Why is she sick?" Jongin's mind is whirling. Oh god he has a child... A daughter. A SICK daughter.

He holds Kyungsoo's shoulders & shakes him gently. "Tell me please, is she very sick? She needs me for what? Oh god I just found out about her." Jongin wails.

He has always loved kids. His nephew & niece are testament to how good he is with kids. Mirae, that pretty baby is his.

He can't believe that the precious pretty baby is his.

Staring at Kyungsoo's grave expression, he knows that Mirae's condition is serious. He would not come here to reveal their existence he has hidden for 4 years if her life is not at stake.

"Mirae has mild aplastic anemia." Jongin's loud gasp is audible.

"When her blood cell count lowered, she developed symptoms that needed to be treated, low blood cell count means low immunity and prone to fever and infection. We need blood and platelet transfusion too. And ideally from a parent. She got some from me but I am bordering low on
normal level so Dr Zhang said I can't do it alone...and...and-" Kyungsoo shudders and a choked sob was heard. Jongin saw tears flow from Kyungsoo's eyes before he turns away to wipe them harshly with the back of his hand.

 

Taking an unsteady breath, he continues:

"Mirae may eventually need bone marrow transplant, and I am not compatible with her." After saying that, Kyungsoo feels his uselessness in helping his baby and began to sob in despair.

Jongin was never someone affected by woman's tears, but with Kyungsoo he feels soft and weak.

He wants to comfort and cuddle him, let Kyungsoo feel safe within his arms.

WHAT??? JONGIN, FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM AT HAND. FOCUS ON YOUR BABY. Jongin scolds himself.

He clears his throat and pats Kyungsoo's shoulder as a form of comfort.
"I'm willing to help-" He began but Kyungsoo suddenly looks up and smiles so prettily at him, oh wow! he has a heart shaped smile.

"Really???? Thank you, oh god, thank you!"

Kyungsoo is so elated that he hasn't noticed that Jongin is staring at his lips. Then the shock came when Kyungsoo suddenly hugs him because of happiness.

Jongin is frozen in shock. A jolt of electricity zinged inside his body, humming beneath his skin that touches Kyungsoo. Oh no! Not a boner, he pleads his body to behave. Don't pop a boner!

 

Kyungsoo noticed his immobility and suddenly took his arms off Jongin.
"I'm sorry, I was just too happy for my baby."

"OUR baby." Jongin corrects.
"I was not finished talking yet. As I was saying, I am willing to help but I want to be a part of OUR baby's life. I want her to know that I am his other father."

 

"NO! This is what I am afraid of..."

Kyungsoo backs away.

"You are gonna try to get Mirae from me. No! Never mind, I don't need your help. I'll find another way.."

In panic, Kyungsoo tries to run to the door but was caught by Jongin.

"Hey... Hey! Look at me." Jongin encloses Kyungsoo in his arms. "Please look at me"

Kyungsoo still refuses to look, struggling to get out of Jongin's embrace.
Jongin suddenly couldn't think of anything else but the beautiful man in his arms. And the soft pink lips so near his. He closed the distance between their lips, there was a gasp of surprise but no resistance from Kyungsoo's lips. With a moan, Jongin nipped and licked, tasting the sweet lips tempting him. Reluctantly he gently stops and placed a kiss on the tip of Kyungsoo's nose.

 

"Fuck, you are so pretty! I'd like to kiss you till the walls fall down but... Priorities!"

Jongin takes a deep breath.

"Our daughter first.. and before you try to accuse me of stuff again, no, I am not heartless. I won't take Mirae from you. I just want to be a part of her life, of both of your lives." Jongin tries to kiss Kyungsoo again but the other turns away, extricating from Jongin's arms. He is shaken by the kiss and wants to distance himself from the model as soon as possible.

Collecting his things, Kyungsoo faces Jongin.

"If you want to see Mirae, she is in Seoul National University Hospital. 4th floor at room 412. You need to be tested for blood and bone marrow compatibility so make time for that. She'll need transfusion so you better come soon."

Kyungsoo was almost at the door when he says:
"Oh and if you have doubts if Mirae is yours you can ask for DNA testing too."

 

"No need." Jongin confidently says "I know she's mine. And that kiss we shared now tells me I was your first and also your last.."

Kyungsoo grabs a plastic bottled water on a table near the door and throws it at Jongin. With a huff he slams the door and he can hear Jongin's laugh behind it. As he angrily marches to the elevator, he saw Mr Park peer questioningly at him. He ignores the manager and leaves.

 

~~

 

"Jongin, this might as well be a scam. You can't remember anything about him. He just came out of nowhere." Manager Park argues.

 

"Hyung! I understand you are trying to look after my well being here but Kyungsoo said if I had doubts I can take the DNA test to be sure. And Mirae won't be compatible with my bone marrow if she's not mine so it's all moot point." Jongin reasons, trying his best to convince his manager.

 

"Besides, I can feel Mirae is mine." At the dreamy smile on Jongin's lips, the manager only shakes his head.

"How can you be sure?" His manager inquires.

Then Jongin's smile widens. "I'm pretty sure I was his first and last. I felt it on the way he kissed me." Again, the dreamy smile returns.

 

"He kissed you?" Jaewoo manager is shocked.

 

"Well, I kissed him & he kissed me back."
Jongin answers smugly.

 

Defeated, his manager just reminds him:
"No scandal, Jongin. Please be discreet."

 

~~

Seeing his daughter is much harder than he thought. Hospitals has too many people and Mirae's room is situated near the wards. Jongin would cause a commotion if he just shows himself there.

First thing he did was contact Dr Zhang for his tests. Upon learning that he's Mirae's other father, the good doctor readily agrees about his request to place Mirae on a private suite of the hospital to avoid being mobbed by fans and the press. Then he has done all the test required of him.

Kyungsoo is puzzled when a nurse informs him of the order from Dr Zhang.

They were to transfer to a more private area. But to his shock its on one of the Private Suites used by VIP patients.
Confused, he was about to ask the nurse who was busy fixing the tubes connected to Mirae, when the door opens quietly and the person he avoided for 4 years comes in.

Kyungsoo immediately pulls Jongin out again, ensuring the hallways are empty, he questions the newly arrived person. "Were you the one who asked us to move here?"

 

"Yeah, so we won't be disturbed by the press or the fans. Its for the safety of the 3 of us." Jongin assures Kyungsoo.

"But I won't be able to afford this..." Kyungsoo complained.

 

"I'll pay for it." When Kyungsoo begins to protest, Jongin cuts it by saying "Think of it as child support I haven't been giving for several years. Come to think of it, staying on the VIP suit will not be enough."

"Is she awake?" Jongin queries since its late.

"Yeah, the room transfer got her a bit excited. She likes the bigger TV and she says her room now looks like our house." Kyungsoo smiles as he remembers his daughter's chatter.

"I'm glad she likes it. Can I...can I meet her now?"

Jongin is now nervous. Not knowing what his baby's reaction towards him will be.

"Will she like me? What if she hates me?" He begins to pace the empty corridor.

Kyungsoo took pity on him,
"You'll be fine. Mirae has been asking about her other parent lately. She'll like you."

At first Kyungsoo thought about not telling Mirae that Jongin is her father but she has been asking about a mommy or a daddy like what she sees on tv. Maybe, just maybe, this will be beneficial for all of them.

As they enter, Mirae is all smiles and says goodbye to her nurse.

"Papa, nurse unnie says I can have ice cweam placed in the fridge. Can we buy some huh? Dr Zhang said I could have a small cup ebweryday."

Mirae mispronounces as she is in a hurry to ask for ice cream.

A small giggle at Kyungsoo's back caught the attention of his daughter.

"Papa, who is that?" An innocent and simple question but so hard to answer. Kyungsoo is silent, not knowing how to go about introducing his baby to her father.
Jongin removed his mask and bucket hat. And tentatively smiled.

 

"Hello Mirae!"
Mirae smiles albeit a puzzled one.
And her smile cleared in recognition: "Oh the Handsome ahjussi!"

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes as Jongin smirks, nervousness melting away at his baby's praise.

Kyungsoo then take his baby's hand, and to Jongin's surprise, takes his hand too.
"Mirae, he is your Daddy."

Mirae looked at Jongin then at her papa... Then the most heartbreaking thing came out of her lips:

"No, papa no! Ahjussi not Dada..."
She pulled her hand away from Jongin and hides her face on Kyungsoo's neck.

Jongin bit his lower lip to stop himself from sobbing.

 

"Give her time." Kyungsoo whispers as he squeeze Jongin's hand in comfort.

"Baby, here, look at Papa. Jongin is really your Dada. Remember you used to ask me a lot about him? Now he's here and wants to meet you. Will you try to be friends with Dada? Please? He wants to play."

"You really my Dada?" Mirae peeks at Jongin.

After taking a deep breath, Jongin answers his baby.

"Yes, I am your Dada." Overwhelmed by the enormity of that statement Jongin's tears start to fall. She's my daughter, she's mine he muses to himself.

"Dada you sad? You don't like"

"No baby, of course I like being your Dada. I'm just sorry, I wasn't a very good Dada before." Jongin tries to reassure his baby.
Kyungsoo also has tears in his eyes, touched by the emotional reunion.

"Dada loves Mirae?"

"Yes baby, Dada loves you"

"Papa too? Dada loves papa too?"

Kyungsoo's heart skips a beat when he hears Mirae's question. He shudders when he sees the intense look Jongin gives him. Then Jongin reaches out to touch his cheek thumbs wiping a stray tear then swipes on the plumpness of his lips.

"Yes baby, Dada loves Papa too."

A red faced Kyungsoo steps back from Jongin's touch, too affected by Jongin's touch on his lips. Flustered, he arranged the stuff Jongin brought for Mirae on a small table. Trying to calm his galloping heart, he busies himself then he hears a gasp.

"Dada blood!"

"Oh no Kyungsoo!"

Since it is his first time experiencing this, Jongin is panicking which doesn't help Mirae. So Kyungsoo pressed the nurse call button and asks Jongin to wet a small towel.

"You need to relax, Mirae will get more scared if you panic"
Jongin gets up to do as he is told but...

"No!!! I want Dada!" Mirae clings to him staining his shirt with blood but he doesn't care. Its the first time Mirae asks him to stay by her side, he feels elated but fears for the condition of his daughter.

"Ok I'll wet the towel, calm down and stay with her."

As Kyungsoo left for the bathroom, Jongin tries to calm the baby by carding his fingers through her hair & kissing her forehead. That seems to work, by the time Kyungsoo returns to clean up the blood on Mirae's face, the nurses came to do their jobs as one calls for transfusion.

In the midst of all the activity, Jongin disappeared. Kyungsoo made sure his baby is sleeping when leaves Mirae with a nurse to look for Jongin. He didn't have to look far and saw him sitting outside the door. Hands on his face and crying.
Seems he really loves his daughter.

Kyungsoo gently touches the other's shoulder.
"Jongin, Mirae is fine, she's sleeping now."

Jongin looks up, face all sad and wet with tears.

"She...she's so sick, and in pain. I...I want to protect her from it all but, oh god, I feel so useless."

Kyungsoo sadly smiles, "Believe me, I know the feeling."

 

~~

 

After that emotional encounter, Jongin tries his best to help and spend time with Mirae as much as he can. He usually comes at night avoiding crowds. And staying until after midnight giving Kyungsoo time for naps or late night visits to his apartment to do laundry.
Mirae learns to anticipate her Dada's visits. An hour of playing with toys Jongin spoils Mirae with, and a bedtime story before the baby sleeps around 10. Its not an ideal time for Mirae to sleep but Kyungsoo can't deprive the father-daughter time they have during those times.

 

Sadly a schedule abroad for a fashion show and a photoshoot halts the nightly ritual built by the newly bonded father and daughter. The night before his flight, Jongin tells his daughter he will not be able to visit for several days which leads to tears & clingy hugs by the baby.
It took time for the little girl to finally sleep. Even during her slumber, she clings to her Dada's arm. With a heavy heart, Jongin extricates himself from the baby. With a sigh he turns to the older man, "Kyungsoo, we need to talk when I come back... Please."

Without warning he enclosed the elder in his arms. Looking intently at those deep orbs of Kyungsoo's eyes, he slowly inches closer, giving Kyungsoo time to say no. When offered no resistance he met the plump lips with his, savoring its sweet taste. Licking the succulent flesh.

 

These past few days has been an eye opener for him. The more he spends time with Kyungsoo and Mirae, the more he wants to be with them. And oh god, kissing Kyungsoo now feels so right feels like...like HOME.

When he slipped his tongue between Kyungsoo's lips a tiny moan is heard.
Sucking and licking the deep cavern of Kyungsoo's mouth earns him tiny mewls and moans that rushes blood to his groin.

"Oh fuck, that's so sexy." He mutters as he kisses Kyungsoo's jaw and suckles a tiny hickey below his ear. With a last lick to the purplish bruise, he steps away.
He has a raging boner & he's sure Kyungsoo does too. But he's gonna step back now and leave before he loses his mind & take Kyungsoo on the couch in front of their sleeping daughter.

"We will talk. Wait for me, hmm?"
At Kyungsoo's nod and a final kiss on his forehead, he leaves.

 

~~

 

Its been a week.

 

Kyungsoo is a confused mess. The kiss he and Jongin shared that night made him like this. Kissing Jongin feels heavenly but sinful. Makes him crave for more. Jongin video calls every night to Mirae and ask Kyungsoo on updates about Mirae's condition and how he is.

But no mention of the kisses they shared nor the talk they're about to have. And its driving Kyungsoo insane.

Baek is no help at all. Oh yes, he helps in watching Mirae once in a while when Kyungsoo needs to do errands but no use on the counseling department.

All he says is "If he kisses you like that then he wants your ass again" or "Go get your man!" As if its that simple.

 

Jongin never mentioned permanency. Well maybe with Mirae as her Dad but nothing with him. They may be attracted to each other sexually now but that could change.
And he doesn't want Mirae to suffer the consequences if he indulges on a sexual fling, even if it's his daughter's dad.

He grew up sheltered & never had any experience. Jongin guessed right, he is Kyungsoo's first & as of now, his last. He never wants to be hurt again like before.

 

Baek arrived at the hospital that night with an opening statement of: "Oh my god you look like hell Kyungie. Maybe I should stay overnight so you can have a decent sleep."

"Thanks for the compliment Baek." Kyungsoo says sarcastically.

"No really, you look really tired."

Seeing that Baek is serious, he admits to the obvious.

"I really haven't been sleeping well the last few days. Are you really serious about staying the night?"
Baek really feels pity for Kyungsoo and really wants to help.

"Yes so go home and get some sleep."

With a grateful smile to Baek he asks to his baby to be good for uncle Baek & that he's going to get some sleep and promises to be back in the morning.

"Noon" Baek counters, " Its Sunday tomorrow, I don't have work. Take the time to rest properly."

After thanking Baek, he leaves.

 

~~

 

Just out from the long warm shower, dressed in tight boxers and an oversized t-shirt, he orders some chinese food to eat. He's too lazy to cook since its the first time in a long while to just relax and rest. He almost fell asleep on the couch when the door bell rang.

Sleepily he shuffled to the door, deeming himself decent enough for the delivery person since his shirt reaches mid-thigh albeit a bit threadbare. Grabbing his credit card from the shelf, he opened the door and seeing the last person he expects to find on his outside his door.

He gapes at Jongin for 3 seconds then slammed the door shut, panicking. Jongin is here.

 

JONGIN IS HERE!

 

"Uh, Kyungsoo?" Jongin calls out.

"Y-yeah, wait...ok..."
Kyungsoo opens the door sheepishly.

"Hi! I got your food." Jongin greets him with a smile holds out the bag.

"H-how?"

"Can I come in?"

Kyungsoo opens the door wider to let the taller in.

"Saw the delivery person at your door and I paid for your food." Jongin explains the bag on his hand. Kyungsoo belatedly grabs the bag of food and placed it on the small table.

"How did you know I am here?"

Jongin tiredly smiles, "I went to the hospital directly from the airport hoping to see both you & Mirae. Imagine me being disappointed only seeing my baby and not her father. I stayed for awhile to read a story to Mirae and when she fell asleep, your friend Baek told me where you are."

Jongin strides closer to Kyungsoo, a hand reaching out to arrange the fringe on the later's forehead then glides to his jaw.

"I missed you."

As Jongin gazes on the dark orbs of Kyungsoo's eyes his other arm went around the elder's waist to pull him closer into a hug, face nuzzling Kyungsoo's neck.

"Oh, i really missed your scent." A fusion of strawberry and vanilla coupled with Kyungsoo's own musky scent.

Kyungsoo shudders when he felt kitten licks n his neck. Unable to bear it any longer he pulled Jongin away from his neck.

Undeterred, Jongin closed in for a kiss, at first it was urgent with need almost devouring Kyungsoo's lips as mewls and moans of longing escape from the both of them. Suddenly Jongin's kisses shifts into soft licks and nips almost lovingly. Kyungsoo's heart aches at this feeling.

Stop it now Kyungsoo, before you get hurt.
With a heavy heart Kyungsoo extricates himself from Jongin's arms.

At Jongin's questioning expression, he mutters:
"You said we will talk when you come back. Now you are here... Talk."

And Kyungsoo leads Jongin to the couch.

A tense and awkward silence surrounds them as they both settle on the couch, Jongin near the middle and Kyungsoo perched on one end.

Jongin is confused as to why Kyungsoo distances himself away, when he clearly enjoys their kisses. He thought they are getting closer as they spend time together but now he is at the end of the couch looking warily at Jongin.

"Kyungsoo? Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry to just show up on your door but I just wanna see you. If it offends you I'm so sorry." A contrite Jongin bows his head.

Kyungsoo shakes his head, "No... No, I just... You..." Stuttering incomprehensibly, Kyungsoo just continues to shake his head slowly, not knowing how to explain.

"Do you hate me?" Jongin is afraid to hear Kyungsoo's answer on this. If he was Kyungsoo, he would have resented himself, getting Kyungsoo pregnant and raising a child on his own.

"Yes." Hearing Kyungsoo whisper that single word feels like he is being stabbed through the heart.

"I hated you back then, I was pregnant and alone. My parents disowned me and kicked me out. I was homeless, jobless and pregnant. Would you blame me for hating you? Then clinging to a hope about leaving your bracelet on my shirt and finding out that you just lost it and thought I was just some dumb kid you slept with, that hurts too much Jongin." Kyungsoo pours out all the hate and hurt he felt all those years.

"Then when Mirae was born I swore to devote all my love and time for her, striving hard and working so I could give her the life she deserves and to compensate the fact that she has only me as a parent. Suddenly now you came into our lives, yes, I asked a favor for Mirae but pretending to like me, the kisses and pretending to miss me is all too much. I know I am too naive as Baek always say, but I know when I am being played."

Kyungsoo took a shuddering breath and wiped the stray tear from his eyes.

"If all this is for assuring that you can spend time with Mirae is what you are after, you don't have to kiss and pretend that you like me. I won't deny your rights as a father. Just stop playing with my life."

Kyungsoo finished his long spiel & he just noticed that Jongin is intently staring at him, brooding.

"You finished? Am i allowed to say something?" At Kyungsoo's tiny nod Jongin begins his own defense.

"First of all, I am truly sorry about what happened in the past, I already told you I was an asshole back then and I am trying my best to make up to you and Mirae. I really thought we are getting closer.
Mirae and I have already bonded and I truly want to get to know you more, I enjoy kissing you and I truly missed you when I was out of the country. I am not playing, I really enjoy being with you." Jongin says earnestly.

"Can you honestly say you really like me beyond being sexually attracted to me? And will lead to something more? Because if we just play and fulfill those desires, eventually someones gonna get hurt and it will affect Mirae."

That someone being me, Kyungsoo adds to himself, not daring to voice it out.

Jongin hates it. He really hates it when Kyungsoo is right. He absolutely likes kissing Kyungsoo and making out with him was absolutely breathtakingly hot. He likes him enough to miss him when he is away. But Kyungsoo has a point. Does he like Kyungsoo enough to give him more?
More than just a tumble on the bed? More than just sex? Kyungsoo deserves more that that. But is HE ready to give more? Jongin frustratingly has no ready answer for that.

"I can't give you answers to your questions right now but will you believe me when I say I will never intentionally hurt you or Mirae. And I really do enjoy your company, will you give me a chance to be closer to you as I've been getting closer to Mirae? Please?" Jongin pleads with a slight pout.

 

Damn it! Kyungsoo is weak for that, the pout is the mirror image of Mirae's.

 

~~

 

Kyungsoo dragged himself to the hospital near noon. Still tired from too little sleep. After the pouting, and Jongin sees the softening in Kyungsoo's eyes, the former kept pushing his boundaries. Carding his fingers through Kyungsoo's hair to fixing his fringe & asking for kisses to which Kyungsoo adamantly put his foot down. Then came the bargaining, to forehead kisses and nose kisses. No lips, no making out. And that bought about another pout from Jongin, this one more devastating from the last. But Kyungsoo held firm.
So Jongin says he has to leave before he pushes more than Kyungsoo could give. When Jongin says his goodbye, he kisses Kyungsoo's forehead with butterfly kisses and gently dragging his lips to Kyungsoo's nose. Slowly licking it with kittenish licks and a sucking kiss that makes Kyungsoo shudder with want.

"There, that's what we agreed on right? Forehead and nose." Kyungsoo's lips open and close like a fish, unable to say anything.

With a wink and a final goodbye, Jongin walks out his door and Kyungsoo went to bed without eating anything, tossing and turning till the sun went up.

 

Arriving at Mirae's room he was about to call out to his daughter when he was met by Baek with a finger on his lips and saying:

"Shhh! Mirae is sleeping. She's tired, she had a trickle of nosebleed this morning and was cranky and wanted you. But she's fine really."

"Why didn't you call me? You know I would have gotten here earlier." Kyungsoo whines.

"I didn't want to interrupt your...um...sleep." Looking at Kyungsoo's rumpled and tired appearance Baek smirks.

"Seems you had a wild night."

 

"Yeah, wild night." Kyungsoo mutters sarcastically.

Ears perking at the sarcastic tone, Baek is curious.

"Yah, I sent your man to your house last night. You didn't have fun?"

 

Kyungsoo heaves a sigh.

"No, we just talked."

"But Kyungie, its an opportunity sent your way why waste it?" Baek complains

"Baek, everything is not that simple, I have Mirae to think about now. If we just play around and have sex then things don't work out and became awkward it will affect Mirae. Jongin doesn't plan on permanency, at least not with me. He's only here for Mirae." It is painful but its reality Kyungsoo muses.

 

Baek closed his eyes in frustration, seeing how dense his friend is.

"Look, did you know what happened here yesterday? No right? Jongin arrived direct from the airport. Bringing that." Points to a bear in Mirae's arms. "And that" pointing to a pretty bouquet of pink lilies.

"Mirae thought it was hers too but Jongin says 'its for your papa'. You should have seen when his smile slipped and his shoulders slumped when I told him you're not here. And when Mirae fell asleep he urgently asked for your address and disappeared so fast after I gave it to him. Can't you see Kyungsoo, that guy is smitten even if he doesn't realize it himself."

Kyungsoo shakes his head.

 

"And don't you shake your head at me Do Kyungsoo. After I saw Jongin's behavior last night, I did some research. He was dubbed as a playboy, and a party animal at the start of his career but around the time you found out you were pregnant with Mirae, he was rumored to be hospitalized due to seizure apparently from drinking too much and stress. After that incident he was jokingly referred as the monk of fashion, because he was and is still single with no known rumors of dating. He always say that when he finds the right person, they will be his last. His one and only. Damn! Isn't that romantic?" Baek dreamily exclaims.

 

Kyungsoo's mind is a chaotic mess. With all that happened last night and the information that Baek told him coupled with lack of nutrition and sleep makes him want to hibernate for a week. As if reminding him he hasn't eaten in about 24 hours, his tummy lets out a loud growl.

Taking out the food he ordered last night but had no appetite to eat, Kyungsoo went to the microwave to heat the food.

"You wanna eat?" Kyungsoo asks Baek.

"No thanks, everything looks soggy. Is that leftovers?" Baek crinkles his nose.

"No, ordered it last night but haven't got the chance to eat it." Kyungsoo munches the soggy food determined not to waste money. Technically he didn't pay for it but…

 

"Will Jongin be here again tonight?" Baek is aware of Jongin's nightly visits and routine with Mirae.

"Yes" Kyungsoo says reluctantly.

"Be sure to talk, I bet you both need it. And listen to him. He may be reluctant to tell you how he feels because you keep pushing him away. Kyungie, I want you to be happy. You and Mirae deserve all the love and happiness he can give. And he owes you 4 years worth of that."

Mirae is a bit cranky the whole afternoon & crying on and off. And Kyungsoo is on the verge of crying too. He is tired from lack of sleep last night & Mirae being cranky just doesn't help at all. He was cuddling a crying Mirae when Jongin arrived & Kyungsoo shed a tear in relief.

 

"Kyungsoo? What's wrong?" Jongin hurriedly walk towards father and daughter.

"Why are you crying?"

 

"Mirae is not feeling well and has been cranky all day." Jongin took his daughter in his arms to relieve Kyungsoo of the burden. He looks ready to drop. With an arm around Mirae

Jongin extends his other hand to Kyungsoo, cupping the pale and tired face. "Go and take a nap. I'll take care of Mirae." When Kyungsoo is about to protest, Jongin shushes him with a finger on his lips

"Lie down on the couch, we'll be fine."

With a kiss on Kyungsoo's forehead, Jongin gently pushes him towards the couch. Miraculously Mirae quiets in her Dada's arms. Jongin would have liked to attend to Kyungsoo by tucking a blanket around him but he has to take care of Mirae.

Lying on the couch, Kyungsoo tiredly smiles at Jongin and closes his eyes. Eventually the tired Mirae also fell asleep. Jongin placed her gently on the bed so as to not jostle her awake. He approaches the sleeping Kyungsoo and fixes the blanket to cover him up to his shoulders.

He itches to trace Kyungsoo's eyebrows, nose and lips with his fingertips. He wanted to kiss and nibble at the curve of the elder's cheeks and jawline. His heart aches to see the lines of worry between the brows as well as the unusual paleness on Kyungsoo's cheeks.

Jongin has never felt this way. The worrying when he's away, the longing to be with Kyungsoo. The wanting to be near him, to kiss, hug and pamper him. The physical pain of stepping back from kissing Kyungsoo, when all he wants is to pin him down and make love to him.

Is this the "more" Kyungsoo is looking for?
He doesn't really know. He never had any serious relationship in the past. What he and Kyungsoo have is not really normal in terms of having a relationship so this situation of theirs confuses the hell outta him.

An hour into watching Kyungsoo take his nap when Jongin heard a whimper from the bed. He got up to see what's wrong when he sees crimson stains on his daughter's face and hands.

 

"Dada" the baby whimpers as she holds out her hand. "Blood". Jongin hurries to push the call button and speaks to the intercom, "Mirae has nosebleeding". Suddenly, nurses came and cleaned Mirae as well as hook her up on a new blood and platelet transfusion bags.

"We will send a message to Dr Zhang. He will be here as soon as possible. Keep her elevated & with a cold compress."

 

Kyungsoo woke up as the nurse was leaving. Seeing the transfusion bags, his brows furrows with worry. "She had nosebleed again?"

"Yeah" Jongin reluctantly answers. He doesn't want Kyungsoo to worry too much.
But as the elder got up to go to his daughter, he sways precariously.

 

"Kyungsoo!" Jongin exclaims as he caught the elder before he fell. Good thing that the baby is asleep now or she would cry.
"Try to rest some more, or better yet I'll ask a doctor to take a look at you. You're too pale and you look too tired." Jongin helps Kyungsoo to lie down again
"But, you need to rest too. What time are you going home?" Kyungsoo asks worriedly. He knows Jongin has full schedules & only demands that his nights be free. So he does all his commitments during daytime.
"Around 4 so you still have several hours to sleep." Jongin's tone is firm.

 

When Kyungsoo is about to argue, Jongin shushes him with a finger to the elders lips.

 

"No arguments. You need rest. Now close your eyes." When Kyungsoo obeys, Jongin kisses him on the forehead and cards his hands on the elder's raven hair until his breath deepens as he sleeps.

As he makes sure Mirae and Kyungsoo are asleep. He sends a message to Baek asking for a favor. Surprisingly he is immediately answered, apparently Baek was at a party and was just going home. Kyungsoo's best friend is happy to help.

The next he needs to talk to is Dr Zhang.
Fortunately Dr Zhang was on duty. He came to check on Mirae quietly at Jongin's request as to not wake Kyungsoo. And he asks the doctor if they could talk. Asking a nurse to look after the baby for a while, both male went to the doctor's office.

 

~~

 

"When are you able to come in for us to be able to harvest bone marrow from you? It will only take a day for the procedure. Couple of hours in the OR and the rest of the day to recover. It should be as soon as possible since Mirae is not responding to her medicines."

 

Jongin is not worried for his schedule. He only has fittings for another fashion event this week and an interview. So it makes sense for him to tell his manager to clear his schedule for a couple of days.

 

"As I have warned you of the side effects, there will be pain on your hip for a few days as well as dizziness, nausea and weakening of your muscles. So I suggest after staying in the hospital for a day or two, you have to rest at home and take pain medication to manage aches and pains on your hip and muscles." Dr Zhang advises.

"I'll be clearing my schedule starting tomorrow and call you to confirm. But there's one more thing I ask, will you check on Kyungsoo or have someone check on him please. He looks too pale. I'm afraid he would collapse anytime. He was swaying on his feet when he wanted to check on Mirae a while ago."

Jongin eyes the doctor who is thinking pensively.

"In the first place Kyungsoo is indeed bordering low on normal blood cells. He insisted to donate blood and platelets to his daughter the first time and I told him to find you because he can't do this alone. Indeed he needs to rest and eat properly, even for a day or two since I know he wont leave Mirae's side." At the doctor's verdict Jongin immediately shares his idea.

"There is a very good friend willing to stay with Mirae if ever he needs to rest.
I'll tell Kyungsoo that he needs to be as healthy as possible because I will be in pain and there is no one to take care of Mirae."

Dr Zhang nodded in agreement.
"That's a good reason and argument. He will heed that because it's for the good of the 3 of you."

The next day, Jongin talked to his management about an emergency leave of 3 days and cancel some of his activities. The management reluctantly agrees so as not to displease their top model.
Jongin hurriedly goes back to the hospital.

He hasn't been able to talk to Kyungsoo because the elder was sound asleep and he hasn't had the heart to wake him up. But as he arrives at Mirae's room, only Baekhyun is there.

Apparently Dr Zhang already talked to Kyungsoo telling him to rest and be as healthy as possible to take care of both Jongin and Mirae. Kyungsoo begrudgingly agreed to go home to rest and eat healthy. And Mirae was given sedative to sleep because she is so restless. After making sure his daughter is alright and comfortable, he kisses her forehead and says goodbye to Baek.

Jongin needs to prepare for tomorrow, he went home first to take a shower and pack some clothes and essentials he will need to stay in the hospital and go to Kyungsoo to make sure he eats and sleeps.

Its late in the afternoon almost evening when he arrive at Kyungsoo's place, he feels guilty ringing the doorbell because the elder might be asleep. What surprises him is the fact the door was opened immediately and there is a crying Kyungsoo in front of him.

 

Jongin almost jumps out of his skin when Kyungsoo pulled him inside and hugged him tight causing him to drop his bag to embrace the elder.

"Hey... Hey... What's wrong? I'm here, everything's going to be fine." Jongin tries to soothe the elder by rubbing his back, placing kisses on top of Kyungsoo's head.

Between sniffs and hiccups, Kyungsoo told him about his nightmare, losing Mirae because she bled excessively. Another bouts of heartbreaking sobs escapes from the elder.

 

"I can't get it out of my mind, the way she looked in the pool of her own blood. She looked so pale and so small... My baby..." Kyungsoo wails.

 

Jongin is at loss, he doesn't know how to comfort him. All he can do now is lead both of them to the couch so they can sit. But as soon as they sat down, Kyungsoo crawled to his lap and cuddled in his arms still sobbing pitifully.

"Take the nightmare away, Jongin. Make me forget."

Jongin just hugs the elder, at lost on what to do.

"I would take it if I can, I... I don't know how I could make you forget."

Kyungsoo looks at him with those tear stained orbs, making his eyes sparkle beautifully.

Then he encircle Jongin's neck with his arms and pulls him for a desperate, hot and hard kiss. Jongin flounders, not knowing what to make of this.
He pulled away. "Kyungsoo babe." The endearment slips from his lips.

"You are not fully in your right mind now, I don't wanna go and take advantage of that."

But Kyungsoo shakes his head.
"No Jongin, I want this, just make me forget..."

Unable to hold back, Jongin kisses Kyungsoo. Lips clashing, teeth clacking with the urgency of the kiss.

Kyungsoo bites Jongin's lower lip then licks it.

"Open up." Jongin growls, tongue seeking entrance.

The elder welcomes his tongue, with suckling and twining to a dance in the dark cavern of Kyungsoo's mouth. They pulled away, sucking the much needed breath. Kyungsoo scrambles to get up, pulling Jongin until they reach the bedroom. Kyungsoo kisses his jawline, then urging Jongin to take off his shirt by gliding his palms on the taller's abs and nipples.

"Oh Soo, babe... No please.."
Jongin is nearly mindless. But he has to keep his sanity.

Jongin grips Kyungsoo's wrist to stop him from roaming it on his sensitive nipples.
Kyungsoo suddenly becomes still.

 

"Y-you don't want me?" His eyes now holds shadow of pain & shame.

 

"NO! I mean, yes Soo, I really want you never doubt that, its just… Babe, we don't have condoms. And I don't want you to regret this in the morning." Jongin tries to kiss Kyungsoo but he steps away. Hurt mars his beautiful face.

 

"No! No Babe... I am not rejecting you. We just won't have...um... penetrative sex. We can do it other ways right?"

Jongin backhugs Kyungsoo then turns him around. Tilting the elders face, he kissed his nose
"Is that ok? I'm just thinking about you, hm?"

At Kyungsoo's tiny nod, Jongin gently kisses Kyungsoo softly, nibbling those exquisite puffy lips. Licking and biting till the elders gasps and returns the kiss. Removing Kyungsoo's shirt, he managed to suckle a few purplish hickeys before suckling his nipples.

"Jongin! " The elder cries, as Jongin pleasures him with licks and kisses.

Jongin decides that he's not gonna be selfish today. Everything's for Kyungsoo.
When he reaches the elder's navel he removes Kyungsoo's underwear and jeans, he punctuates everything he does with kisses and licks. Pumping and sucking noises along with Kyungsoo's moans of pleasure is heard in the room then a scream of pleasure,

"Jongin!"

A sob then a sigh…

 

With a smile, Jongin kisses Kyungsoo.
"That's how you taste like, sweet as honey"

With a weak swat, Kyungsoo stares at Jongin's crotch, he's still hard.

"What about you? You're still..." Kyungsoo blushes and stops what he's saying.

 

Jongin got up to find a hand towel to clean Kyungsoo as he returns to clean him, Kyungsoo tries to push him away.

 

"Don't be shy, let me take care of you. Nevermind this." Indicating his hard on. "Everything today is about you." Finishing he cover Kyungsoo with a blanket and kisses his lips. "I assume there's no restrictions now?"

Jongin questions with a lift of his eyebrow. With a shy nod, Kyungsoo agrees, there is no point of it now that they...erm... God, he couldn't even think about it. Kyungsoo wonders where he got the courage to initiate intimacy earlier. He blushes at his bravery.

"I'm gonna order food, what would you like? Pasta? Chinese??" Jongin inquires.

"Pasta would be nice, lasagna with lots of cheese." Kyungsoo's mouth waters at the thought.

"I'll go to the living room, you can shower if you want and get dressed before the food arrives, ok?"

When Jongin left to order, Kyungsoo lets out a giggle. It feels good to be taken care of. He has been alone for so long now. Jongin seems to be genuinely concerned about him. And really unselfish. No man would willingly just ignore his own wants just to take care of another unless he's truly sincere about it.

By the time the food arrives, Kyungsoo is almost asleep. And Jongin has to prompt him to eat. Sometimes feeding the elder himself. After they ate Kyungsoo's about to clean up but Jongin insists he'll do it himself. "Go to your room and sleep, I'll sleep on the couch."

The latter says as he cleans the dishes. Kyungsoo tugs at Jongin's hem shyly.

"You can sleep on the bed with me." he says with a blush spreading on his cheeks.

 

"The couch wouldn't be comfortable."

 

"You won't mind? I don't wanna pressure you into something you are not ready for."

Hearing that, Kyungsoo got teary eyed. The man is just so genuinely sweet and caring. Not to mention a good father to Mirae. He has a lot to think about after Mirae's procedure, by then I hope all will be well with both him and Jongin.

The next day, both Kyungsoo and Jongin had a good breakfast and spent time cuddling on the couch with the TV muted on the background. Jongin wants to pamper Kyungsoo and to stop him from doing house chores hence the cuddling and small chaste kisses. Lazy mornings are the best.

Last night, Jongin tried to sleep with space between Kyungsoo & him, but surprisingly the elder burrowed in his arms, seeking warmth & comfort. Both of them slept soundly in each other's arms & all morning Kyungsoo's been clingy. Jongin hopes that the elder is opening up to him.

Kyungsoo keeps on glancing at Jongin on the way to the hospital. And those expressive eyes are suddenly unreadable.
"Nervous?" Jongin tentatively asks.
"I should be asking you that. You are the one who is going to the OR, put under anesthesia & be extracted of bone marrow."

Kyungsoo counters with a small smile. "But yeah, I am a bit worried."

"Don't worry, I'm sure Mirae will be fine." Jongin assures Kyungsoo.

"But I'm worried about you too. Dr Zhang said that you'll feel pain and have some side effects for a few days." Kyungsoo bit his lip seemingly trying to ask for something.

"C-could you get a r-room next to Mirae? I...I w-want to visit you and take care of you whenever I can."
Jongin is touched, Kyungsoo is worried about HIM. And wants to take care of him. With a grateful smile, he took one of Kyungsoo's hand that is clutched on his lap. And bought it to his lips.

"Thanks for worrying about me, as for the room, I'll see what I can do. Although I'll only be staying for a day or two. Just enough for the effects of anesthesia and other immediate side effects to go away."
Kyungsoo blushes as Jongin continues to hold his hand after kissing it. Even when he had to shift gears, Jong never let Kyungsoo's hand go.

They went hand in hand to see their daughter. Baek eyeing them with speculation. When Kyungsoo got teary eyed seeing their pale daughter, Jongin placed a kiss on top of the elder's head and wraps an arm around Kyungsoo which had Baek's lips twitching to tease them but didn't. Knowing how fragile the moment is and how worried those two are for their little angel. In no time Jongin had to go and prepare for the procedure.

 

The next day:

 

Jongin woke up to a sore hip. His manager dozing on a chair near him.

"Hyung..." Jongin calls softly. His lips and mouth feels dry and he can't move much since his muscles feels sore too.

"Jongin!" His manager woke with a start.

"You need anything?"

"Water." Came the hoarse reply

 

His manager pours a glass of water from a pitcher and helped him to sit up. But cold sweat dotted his forehead as soon as he sat up so he sinks back to the bed.

"Dizzy." He mutters.

"Ok, we will just crank up the bed to a slant so you won't feel the dizziness much."

Jaewoo manager pushed the button to the desired angle and lets Jongin sip from the glass.

"Mirae? Kyungsoo?" Jongin tiredly inquires.

" Mirae is fine from what I gathered, they are still observing if there is a chance of Mirae rejecting your bone marrow, but Kyungsoo said the Doctor is optimistic of the chance that Mirae will be fine. Kyungsoo looks tired but his friend is there trying to bully him to a nap" Jaewoo smiles at the memory of the 2 friends bickering as he went inside Jongin's room.

A beeping sound is heard and a frown marred Jaewoo's face as he reads the message.

 

" Will you be fine by yourself for a few hours? The company needs me. Are you sure we can't tell anyone about this? Who will take care of you?" Worries the manager hyung.

"I'll be fine. Just tell Kyungsoo. Give me my phone so I can call him if I need something. Anyway I'm so tired, I'll just sleep..." Jongin's eyes are indeed almost closed as he talks.

"If you're sure. I'll drop by Kyungsoo to tell him. Just rest ok? Bye!" The manager hurries out.

Jongin mumbles a "Bye..." Before succumbing to a deep sleep.

 

The next time Jongin wakes up, a familiar head rests beside his waist. Kyungsoo sits on a chair beside his bed and head on top of his arms resting beside him. Gently Jongin cards his fingers through the soft raven hair as Kyungsoo blinks his eyes awake.

"How do you feel? Do you need anything?" Kyungsoo fixes the fallen fringe of hair that fell near Jongin's eyes.

"Kiss..." Came a hoarse reply with an accompanying smirk. Jongin's effort to tease Kyungsoo is ruined when a groan of pain escapes him as he tries to move his body.

Worry is seen on Kyungsoo's face as he hears the groan and the grimace of pain on Jongin's lips. Rubbing a thumb on the latter's cheekbone, Kyungsoo gave him a chaste kiss on the lips for comfort, which earned him a smile, a small one, but a smile nonetheless.

Seeing that Jongin's lips are dry, the elder got a glass of water, since the bed is already cranked up, he just helped Jongin to sip from the glass.
"Better?" Kyungsoo asks.

Jongin just nods and closes his eyes for a bit, calming his body from the pain.

"Mirae?" Jongin inquires as he opens his eyes again.

"She's fine. Under observation in case she rejects your bone marrow but Dr Zhang is optimistic. Baek says she's still sleeping."
Jongin nods again too tired to talk.

"You are worrying me. You barely talked, only one-word sentences. Do you want me to call a nurse or a doctor?" Kyungsoo laid a warm palm on Jongin's forehead, trying to figure out if he has a fever.

"M fine, just tired... Don't wanna sleep yet. Wanna be with you."
Clingy baby, Kyungsoo tells himself as he smiles at Jongin.

As Kyungsoo cards his fingers on Jongin's hair, he teases the latter.

"Now who's the clingy baby? You are much clingier than Mirae. But seriously, I am thankful that you are Mirae's dad. You love her and gave her a chance to live longer. I couldn't have asked for a better father for my daughter."

Jongin pointed to his lips asking for a kiss & Kyungsoo couldn't say No. The elder bends down to kiss, nibbles & licks punctuate the mating dance of their tongues. After a bit, Kyungsoo reluctantly separates them, peppers Jongin's jaw with kisses, then he stands up.

"I am now taking care of two babies." Kyungsoo shakes his head and smiles.

"Now will this baby behave as I check up on our daughter?"

At Jongin's sulky nod and a pout, Kyungsoo laughs.

"Do you need anything else?"

Again not talking Jongin just shakes his head with a pout.

"I'll be back soon. Call if you need anything. Don't be stubborn, call me ok?" With a peck on Jongin's forehead and a nose kiss Kyungsoo heads out.

Jongin is a bit disgusted with himself, he's selfish and wants Soo to stay. He is fucking jealous of his own daughter.

Jongin didn't call. He knows in his heart that Mirae needs her Papa more. When he gets thirsty, he painstakingly gets up to drink and ignoring the pain on his hip, he tries to eat the food that a nurse had left him a while ago. It was bland, he misses Kyungsoo's cooking. That one time Kyungsoo cooked for him was so good.

Grimacing from the pain on his hip and muscles, he got up from the chair he's sitting on while eating and grabs his IV pole to hobble to his bed. Leaning heavily to the IV pole, he shuffles slowly until the opening of the door startles him and made him stumble.

"Jongin!"
A steady hand grabs his arm.

"I told you to call if you need anything." An exasperated Kyungsoo tells him.

"Mirae needs you more than I do." Jongin argues and whispers something he thought the elder couldn't hear.
"And I don't have the right to ask you to do anything for me."

But Kyungsoo did hear. Jongin sounds so humbled, ashamed and defeated. What has been going on the model's mind?
Kyungsoo helped the latter settle on the bed then brushed the fringe off Jongin's forehead.
"Hey, what's wrong? You sounded, I dunno, um sad, for lack of a better word."

Jongin closed his eyes, enjoying the gentle hand that keeps brushing on his forehead, soothing... Then he sighs as he opens his eyes.

"What happens when Mirae recovers? Will you still allow me to be in your life?" He asks softly.

"Of course! You are Mirae's dad. I will never take that away from you." Kyungsoo smiles at Jongin.

"I'm not talking about Mirae." Jongin counters and the puzzled elder stares at him. Hand stopped stroking his forehead.
"I'm talking about you. Will YOU allow me to be in your life?"

Kyungsoo panics, he is not ready for this. He was hoping for more time to figure out what he feels.

It may have taken him too long to answer, Jongin took Kyungsoo's hand off his forehead and mutters,
"Nevermind, forget I said anything."

And painstakingly turns his back on Kyungsoo.

"Jongin..." Kyungsoo begins.

"I'm sleepy. Go back to Mirae, she needs you." Jongin cuts him.

Kyungsoo looks sadly at Jongin. He really doesn't know what to tell him. He is a good father to Mirae but for him to open his heart and life to Jongin? He is not ready. Or to be more accurate he is scared.

Yeah that's right, he is scared to be hurt again by Kim Jongin.

The next day Kyungsoo comes to Jongin's room determined to talk. He has been thinking about things a lot and still haven't arrived to any conclusion. He stopped in his tracks when he saw an empty bed. A nurse removing equipment and a used IV is the only person in it.

"Where is Kim Jongin?" Kyungsoo asks the nurse.

"Oh I thought you were informed, He discharged himself from the hospital really early, against the Doctors orders and he has to sign a waiver. He says he has an urgent appointment." The nurse helpfully informs him. Puzzled he left without uttering a word.

 

Sitting beside his sleeping daughter's bed, Kyungsoo thinks hard. What could be the appointment? He was still in pain last night. And he said he cleared his schedule for at least until the weekend. He didn't even drop by Mirae's room to see us or call me. So what happened?

Kyungsoo rubbed his temples, feeling an incoming headache. He tries calling Jongin, it rang & rang until the call dropped on its own. After several minutes of trying, Jongin's phone is out of service. "He turned it off?" Kyungsoo whispers incredulously.

He doesn't know what to think. What's wrong? Then something pings at the back of his mind. Rubbing his fingers on his aching temples. What if this is about Jongin's question last night? What if he thinks Kyungsoo's rejecting him?

"Damn it, I'm a mess."

 

~~

 

With a limp and a small wince Jongin finally enters his house with his manager in tow, carrying his bag and medications. The pain pills helped manage his pain, dulling it a bit so he can move around but its still uncomfortable.
Finally sitting on the couch, he heaves a sigh.

His manager has been scolding him non-stop since he forced Dr Zhang to discharge him. And he's tired. He just wants to rest without being a burden to Kyungsoo. By being in the hospital, the elder will be obligated to visit him and he doesn't want that. Good thing Kyungsoo doesn't know where he lives and the only contact number he knows is his and he has turned his phone off.

He was surprised that Kyungsoo found out immediately that he left. They were about 10 mins in the car when his phone won't stop ringing until he turned it off. His manager disapproves of him turning it off by shaking his head and rolling his eyes but didn't say anything. He needs rest and time to get his feelings fixed before talking to Kyungsoo.

Now that they had sex again he doesn't trust himself not to initiate intimacy and Kyungsoo doesn't want it.

He felt it when Kyungsoo hesitated to answer him. Jongin guessed he just caught him at a vulnerable moment when he had a nightmare that's why their intimacy happened. Now that he has had the time to think about it, Kyungsoo regrets what happened between them.

He sighs. He will have time to sort out himself before facing the other father of his daughter.

Jongin totally forgot that Kyungsoo has Manager Jaewoo's number.

 

~~

 

Kyungsoo disconnects the call. Manager Park says Jongin has no schedule but would just like to stay at home. That Jongin is fine and just wants to be alone, hence no visitors was what the model told him.

Kyungsoo is at loss on what to do. It has been 3 days since Jongin left the hospital. Mirae is doing fine but had a slight fever again last night which worried Dr Zhang. They were supposed to be discharged tomorrow. Kyungsoo sighs, he's worried about Mirae and Jongin.

And he hasn't been able to eat and sleep again thus earning worried looks from Baek, the nurses and Dr Zhang.

 

Little did he know the trusty manager is hatching up a plan.

 

~~

 

"Did you pay the bills?" Jongin asks his manager. He has been checking up on Kyungsoo and Mirae for him.
"Uh, no." Manager Jaewoo hesitantly replies.

"Why? They are getting discharged today right? Dr Zhang told us."

Jaewoo has been with Jongin since his debut and treats him like his own son or brother. He's a bit worried about what the doctor has told him and he is sure Jongin will be frantic with worry too since its his kid.

"Look Jongin, Dr Zhang told me today he can't allow Mirae to leave. She had a fever again last night and the doctor is worried her body is rejecting your bone marrow. I'm sorry" Jaewoo pats Jongin's slumped shoulders as the model fists his hair in his hands in frustration.

"Hyung, what about Kyungsoo? Is he ok? Damn, he's gonna take this so bad. Mirae is all he has.." Jongin paces the living room, agitated and worried. Kyungsoo will be devastated if he loses Mirae. He will be heartbroken. Jongin's own heart aches at the thought.

"Jongin, I'm going to ask you something & I want you to answer me honestly. If Mirae wasn't in the equation, will you still be with Kyungsoo?" Jaewoo hyung looks at him seriously and Jongin furiously answers.
"What kind of question is that. Of course I will be with Kyungsoo. I-"

His tirade screeches to a halt.

 

"You? You what?" Prompts his manager, scrutinizing Jongin's expression.

 

"I...I... Hyung, I think I like him, no maybe I... no not maybe, I DO LOVE HIM!" Jongin's eyes became wide with realization.

Then his shoulders slumped, "But maybe Kyungsoo doesn't feel the same."

 

"Jongin, you have to tell him how you feel, and whether he feels the same or not, he needs you right now. And the way he takes care of you, I think he just needs assurance from you that this is not an obligation just for Mirae." His manager wisely tells him.

Jongin inhales a lungful of air then exhales.

Determined, he faces his manager.

"Hyung"

"Yes, Jongin?"

"Let's go to the hospital."

 

Manager smiles a secret triumphant smile.

"All they need is a bit of a push to the right path." he mutters to himself.

~~

Jongin opens Mirae's room and finds an empty bed. He gasps.

 

"Jongin?" Kyungsoo emerges from the bathroom. Seeing Jongin teary eyed he became worried.

"Hey, what happened?"

Kyungsoo was suddenly engulfed in a tight hug with Jongin crying on the crook of his shoulders.

"Hey... Are you...??" Kyungsoo couldn't even speak.

Jongin sobs are really getting to him. And he's talking but couldn't comprehend what's it all about.

"Hngggg... -ve you. Ngggl-out Mirae, hnggg want to be hmm you." *sniff*

 

"Jongin, you are not making sense. Talk properly please"

Kyungsoo tried to make the taller male face him, wiping his tears. God this man is gorgeous even when he cries.

Pulling his thoughts to the issue on hand he holds Jongin's face between his hands gently, rubbing his thumbs on the model's cheekbones.

"Now tell me..." He urges.

With hiccups and sniffles on the way, Jongin tries...
"I..I love you S-soo, I'll be h-here even if M-mirae is gone. I'll be with you. I'll be your f-family. I love you..."

Then Jongin breaks down again and cries…

Then one thing registers to Kyungsoo.

Then he looks at the bed then at Jongin.

 

Thoughts loading

 

and laughs...

 

Showing the heart shaped smile of his.

 

Jongin is hurt...

Kyungsoo laughs at his confession…

Wait... Kyungsoo is LAUGHING?

 

"Yah! Why are you laughing?" Jongin pouts, he's hurt because the love of his life, laughs at his confession.

 

Kyungsoo just shakes his head and laughs a little more until Jongin steps away facing the door. Aims to leave.

 

Kyungsoo sobers a bit but still smiles as he grabs Jongin's wrist.

"Jongin, wait.." Jongin was determined to go but Kyungsoo pulls the taller to him and caged Jongin in his arms.

"Look at me" Kyungsoo commands as the taller won't meet his eyes.
"Mirae is fine, they just took her for an x-ray because she had a low grade fever and some sniffles. Dr Zhang is just making sure she won't have pneumonia so the discharge was postponed."

"But..." Jongin looks at his sheepish manager waving goodbye as he slips out of the room. He will confront that hyung later.

"Do you mean it?" Kyungsoo questions him, all hilarity from his face gone.

 

"That I love you? Yes. I couldn't answer you back then because the feelings I had might be because of Mirae, but when Hyung asked me if I'll still be with
you without Mirae, I got angry. And then I realized that Mirae or no Mirae, I have learned to love you and has fallen in love with you." Jongin answers earnestly.

"So Kyungsoo please believe me... You and Mirae has already become a part of me. And I want you to know I love you." Jongin gazed lovingly at Kyungsoo and
the elder became teary eyed.

 

"I love you too Jongin, I was so afraid...that...that all of the kindness you were showing us is just for Mirae and I don't fit in any part of your life-" Soft lips meeting his interrupts Kyungsoo's words. Kissing him softly and lovingly.

 

It was escalating into a make out session when…

*knock knock*

They separated just in time, the door opened to a cheery voice of a little girl on a wheelchair pushed by a nurse.

"Papa, I'm back!"

Then she spots her other father…

"Dada! I missed you." Small grabby hands stretches for a hug.

Jongin hugs his daughter.

"I missed you too. And probably you won't miss me much now coz I'll always be with you and your Papa."

"Really?" Mirae's eyes became a round as Kyungsoo's when surprised.

"Yeah, so now be a good girl and rest so we can all go home and be a family ok?" Jongin kisses the little girl's cheek earning him a high pitched giggle.

 

Maybe Mirae didn't understand much of what he is talking about but the baby behaves and rests. It maybe helps a bit that she's tired from the x-rays and tests.

Cuddling on the couch, with Kyungsoo in his arms, Jongin couldn't be happier.

"Are you sure about this? Being a family?" Kyungsoo shyly asks, playing at the sleeve of Jongin's shirt.

"Yes, and tonight I'll show you how much I'm sure about it" Jongin wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at Kyungsoo who blushes bright pink.

"B-but Mirae..." Kyungsoo protests.

"Shhh, don't worry, I'll call Baek. He would gladly help" Jongin then pulls Kyungsoo and sits him on his lap. And kisses the elder's forehead and nose then linger on his lips.

"I love you Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo gazed into the soft brown eyes of Jongin, reassured of the love he saw in them and answers quietly,

"I love you too Jongin"

 

Noses touched for a second then soft lips. Sharing kisses that promises forever.

 

-The End-