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Past, Present, and Future(?)

Summary:

“Sorry, Captain, sir, yes sir.” The child-who-was-maybe-a-Stark stammered out, a tone of fear lacing his voice before he turned and grinned big at Bucky. “See you later Uncle Buck!”

As the kid scrambled off the couch and towards the kitchen, Bucky saw several other small children surrounding Steve’s legs.

“We had a situation,” Steve said dryly.

____

The Avengers are all de-aged and it's up to Steve and Bucky to parent them while Strange searches for a solution. If they happen to fall back in love,

Notes:

Well, chickens, here's my first multi-chaptered Stucky since last fall. This one is a gift from Juulna to Annaelle, and was part of a MTH+ bid I did when my two main offerings were snatched before Juulna could get to them. Annaelle asked for Stucky getting back together while parenting de-aged Avengers and that is exactly what is about to happen.

This one is pretty much written, so the gang and I will see you every Friday for the next ten weeks.

Thanks to FestiveFerret for.... everything and to ashes0909 for the cracker jack beta.

Chapter Text

“Jarvis?”

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”

Someday, Bucky would get used to talking to the air and having the air respond, but today was not that day.

“Is there an ETA on the Quin?”

“Approximately ten minutes, Sergeant.”

“Thanks, Jarvis.”

“Would you like me to alert you when they land?”

“Yes, please, thank you,” Bucky said and went back to the book he was attempting to read. It was on The List that the team had put together for Steve to catch up to the 21st century - which Bucky had conveniently stolen. Between therapy, time in BARF, and The List, Bucky was getting a little tired of self-improvement.

But he was getting even more tired of not being cleared for missions and being forced to wait around for everyone to come home like he was the world’s worst version of Harriet Nelson.

Wait a minute…

“Hey Jarvis, can you get old radio programs?”

“Yes, Sergeant, I’ve procured many from the Library of Congress for the Captain in the past,” Jarvis replied.

“Can you play something from Ozzie and Harriet?”

The familiar theme tune began to play in the common room and Bucky was struck again at how fucking weird his life was.

“Sergeant,” Jarvis interrupted several minutes later. “Captain Rogers and the team have… returned.”

Bucky sat up slowly. “Why was there a pause, Jarvis? Is everyone okay?”

Before Jarvis could answer, a small boy with a mop of brown curls came rocketing into the common room and pounced on the chair next to Bucky. “Uncle Bucky? Right? That’s what Nat called you when she was looking for you right after we got zapped. I could tell who you were by your arm. She remembers you from her before, but I don’t remember people from my before, not very well, just some, but Uncle Bucky is okay? Right?”

“Um… sure, kid.” Bucky tried very hard not to outwardly panic. Who the fuck is this kid?

“Tony,” Steve’s voice sounded from the entrance to the common room.

Tony? Bucky peered a little closer at the kid nearly vibrating next him. Giant eyes, check. Talks a mile a minute, check. This can’t be Stark, can it? Does Stark have a kid? Why would he name him Tony? That’s just going to be confusing.

“Sorry, Captain, sir, yes sir.” The child-who-was-maybe-a-Stark stammered out, a tone of fear lacing his voice before he turned and grinned big at Bucky. “See you later Uncle Buck!”

As the kid scrambled off the couch and towards the kitchen, Bucky saw several other small children surrounding Steve’s legs.

“We had a situation,” Steve said dryly.

“Forgetting to pick up pizza on the way home is a situation, Stevie,” Bucky replied, not taking his eyes off of a very small version of Natasha. “This feels a bit bigger.”

"I'm big!" a tiny Clint proclaimed, appearing from behind Steve's leg. "I bet I could reach the top shelf." He put his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest.

Bucky raised an eyebrow. "Top shelf of what? A Playmobil library?"

"Hey!"

"Bucky," Steve groaned.

"Are they all like this?" He pushed up off the couch and peered around Steve to find Bruce holding a large, purple blanket in his arms and staring wide-eyed at everyone else.

"Everyone except me,” Steve sighed. “Long story short, there was a wizard -”

“He had a hat!” Clint interrupted.

“He did, buddy, you’re right,” Steve smiled, but Bucky could see it didn’t reach his eyes.

“You got a call about sentient toasters,” Bucky said slowly.

“They were being controlled by a wizard from another timeline,” Steve said.

“Another -”

“Shoot, have we not covered that there’s a multiverse yet in your rehab?” Steve ran his hands through his hair. “So even longer story I’ll tell you later, but there are multiple timelines, Strange is looking into it, and right now, I’m in charge of mini versions of Earth’s mightiest heroes.”

“We’re in charge,” Bucky said as Nat started to crawl up Steve’s left side.

“What?”

“You said ‘you’, punk,” Bucky smirked. “I get that I’m a murder puppet, but I can probably wrangle a few toddlers.”

“You sure, Buck? I don’t want to-”

“Interrupt my incredibly busy social schedule of therapy and Wikipedia? I’m good, Stevie, I promise.”

There was noise from the kitchen, and Clint tore himself away from Steve and barrelled towards it. Nat looked torn between following Clint and staying on her perch on Steve’s hip, but she eventually lept down and followed the noise.

Bruce shuffled a little closer, looking up at Bucky in obvious interest. "Hey, Bruce," Bucky said. "Nice blankie."

Steve somehow managed to look even more exhausted than usual. "Not a blanket," he muttered. He turned off towards where Tony had disappeared to, leaning back to try and see around the doorframe.

Bucky tugged on a corner of the blanket and found a leg hole. Ah.

"Tony?" Steve called. There was a small squeak and then Tony's face appeared around the door frame.

"Yes, sir!" He seemed to be vibrating with some sort of strange energy.

"You okay?"

He nodded furiously. "I'm not breaking anything."

"I didn't say you were."

Tony's eyes went wide and his throat bobbed. "I'll sit here." He darted back in the room and threw himself in a large, puffy armchair, making it look even bigger as his feet stuck straight off the end.

“Where’s Thor?” Bucky said suddenly. “Did he go back to Asgard?”

“If only he would have,” Steve muttered quietly, presumably so the kids wouldn't hear him.

As if on cue, a teenage version of Thor appeared in the kitchen and headed straight for the fridge. He grabbed the milk and proceeded to drink directly from the carton.

“Hey, manners, kid,” Bucky snapped. Well, I always wondered if Winnie would come out of my mouth when I was a dad. Got my answer.

Thor turned slowly but did not stop drinking until the carton was empty and he threw it over his shoulder while making direct eye contact with Bucky. Thor grunted, narrowed his eyes, and walked off in the direction of Adult Thor’s bedroom.

"Did an Asgardian prince just roll his eyes at me?"

“I have a feeling,” Steve responded in place of an answer, “that will be the least of our concerns.” His eyes cut to Nat and Clint at the kitchen table, where Clint was busy showing Nat the entire collection of kitchen knives that he had somehow gotten out of the butchers block. Maybe he could reach the top shelf, after all.

“I feel like we should call that Strange guy for an update,” Bucky replied. “Quickly.”

Steve made the call while Bucky rounded the kids up and disarmed the mini-spies. He sat the tots on the couch then went to check on Thor, instead pounding music was rattling the door in its frame and there was no answer to his knock. "Uh, JARVIS?"

"Yes, sir?"

"If he, like, keels over from overwhelming teenage angst, you'll let us know, right?"

"Of course, sir. I monitor the well-being of everyone in the tower."

"Perfect."

Bucky left Thor to writing poetry about Jane's eyes or something, and went back to the common room where -

Where all the kids were gone.

He could hear Steve on the phone in the other room, but the couch was empty. "Hey, brats, where'd you go?"

There was a giggle from behind the couch. Bucky grinned. "Oh, no. I've lost the tiny Avengers. Steve will have my head."

Another giggle.

"Where could they have possibly gone?" Bucky opened the fridge and rattled some bottles loudly. "Not in here!"

There was some rustling and hushing from behind the couch.

Bucky pulled a beer out and looked for the kids in the drawer with the bottle opener. "Gosh, no sign of them at all."

Steve's footsteps trundled down the hall and he came around the corner. His expression snapped from exasperated to terrified in a heartbeat. "Bucky where are they? Where'd they go? Did you let them wander off? Shit."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "They're behind the couch, Steve."

"Uncle Steve said a swear!" the couch shouted, in Clint's voice.

"Oh." Steve rubbed his hand over his face and Bucky handed him his beer. Three miniature superheroes filed out from behind the couch.

"Where's Tony?" Bucky asked, realizing that assuming all four of them were in the same place was probably a bad idea.

"Uncle Bucky?" came Tony's voice from behind the couch.

Bucky leaned over the back and found Tony crouched down. "Yes?"

"Is Uncle Steve mad?"

"No, he's not mad. He was scared. You got him good! But you have to be careful with Uncle Steve cause he gets scared real easily."

"And then he'll have nightmares?"

"Yeah, bud. Come on out."

Tony shuffled out and took a handful of the back of Bucky's shirt. Nat and Clint each had an arm wrapped around one of Steve's legs, Nat with her thumb in her mouth, and Clint with his mouth going a mile a minute.

"- just one jar, Uncle Steve, it's really important."

Steve looked up from his phone where he'd been texting furiously. "Sorry, what?"

Clint rolled his eyes and Bucky hated that it was cute instead of annoying. "Never mind. Uncle Bucky, can I have a jar? It's important."

"Uh, sure." Bucky went back to the kitchen with Tony shuffling along behind him and rummaged around for an old pasta sauce jar. "So what'd Strange say, Stevie?"

Steve sighed. "He hasn't found anything yet. He's on his way over to do some tests. He'll be here in a few minutes."

Bucky handed a jar to Clint who worked the top off. "What kind of tests?"

"I don't know."

Clint held the open jar out to Steve. "I need a quarter."

"What, why?"

"You said a swear!" He looked shocked that anyone would have anything to say on the matter. "This is the swear jar. If you say a swear you put a quarter in the swear jar."

"Then what?" Bucky asked, but before he could answer, an orange circle sliced its way through the air, ringed with ethereal flames. "Shit!" Bucky threw himself between the obvious magic and the kids, but Steve caught his arm.

"It's okay! It's just Strange."

"God dammit, Stevie," Bucky said, heart restarted. "You could have warned me he wasn't coming by limo."

"Sorry. Sorry." Steve's hand ran down Bucky's arm, pulling tingles after it. He rarely touched Bucky, these days, and every time he did, it felt like he was drawing highlighter across Bucky's skin.

Clint waved his jar at Steve and he dug his wallet out as a man stepped into the room. A man wearing a cloak. And the gaudiest necklace Bucky had ever seen. "Wow."

There was a clink as Steve dropped a quarter in Clint's jar and stepped forward to greet the man who certainly seemed to live up to his name. Bucky moved to follow, but Clint stepped in front of him and held out the jar.

"Seriously?"

"You said shit -" Clint flicked up one finger "- and then you said god dammit." His voice rose towards the end of the sentence as a second finger came up, and Strange's eyes narrowed in their direction.

"Okay fine, you little grifter." Bucky dug around in his pocket and came up with fifty cents. He dropped it in and Clint shook the jar with obvious glee. Bucky would get him back when he was big again. Speaking of that… "You Strange?"

The man in the cape shot him a withering look. "You must be Sergeant Barnes."

"Not for about seventy-five years, now. What kind of tests?"

"Excuse me?"

"What kind of tests are you going to do to the kids? Steve said you needed to run tests." Bucky put himself between the tiny gang and Strange and crossed his arms. "They're just kids."

"They've been cursed and are adults, Mr. Barnes," Strange drawled. "I will do whatever is necessary."

Bucky bristled. "Not on my watch." And there's Winnie again.

Strange sighed dramatically. "I assure you it won't injure them in any way. They'll barely feel it."

Bucky dropped a hand on Tony's head. "Alright."

"And you’re sure this has nothing to do with the toaster that tried to bite Tony?"

“THE WHAT?” Bucky roared and Steve held up his hand.

“Not now, Buck. The toaster, Strange?”

“I am confident it has nothing to do with the appliances themselves, Captain, yes,” Strange said. “What I am not confident of is where in the multiverse the wizard came from and I need to see if the magic left traces on anyone so I can track the source of the magic. Only then can I seek to rectify the abnormality regarding the...children.”

Strange said “children” in the same tone of voice one would use for “radioactive waste disposal” and Bucky couldn’t say he cared for it.

“So do I have your permission, Barnes,” Strange continued, and Bucky fought the instinct to twitch at the tone, “even though I do not require it?”

Bucky stared down the man and then a small sound drew his attention to Tony, who was scowling at Strange with all the power of six-year-old anger. It hit Bucky that being trapped in a body you didn’t understand wasn’t something he wanted anyone else to ever experience - ever.

“Do what you need to, but if any of them cries, I don’t apologize for what I’ll do to ya,” Bucky said.

“Fatherhood came on quickly, I see,” Strange said, enigmatically. He then turned to address Steve. “Captain, I seem to recall that the spell first hit your shield and then hit Tony.”

“Yes,” Steve confirmed. “I think he was distracted by the toaster cord, and then once he was de-aged, I think the wizard turned his power to the rest of the team.”

Strange crooked his finger at Tony who frowned but shuffled closer. One by one, Strange held his finger in front of the kids and stared intently at them. Nat got slightly tickled by the cloak at one point - which caused Bucky’s eyebrows to raise to his hairline and Steve to shoot him a look of not now - but true to his word, the children were all unharmed.

Despite Steve clearly trusting the magic user, Bucky still felt a lot better when he straightened up and stepped away from Bruce, shaking his head. Bucky gripped the edge of Bruce's "blankie" and pulled him away from Strange.

Strange sighed and Steve groaned. "Nothing?"

"Nothing. I'm going to have to go back to the Sanctum and do more research. This is multiverse magic." His lips twitched like he was grinding his jaw together. "It's… rather beyond me at the moment, I'm afraid."

"We're kind of sitting ducks right now," Steve grumbled. "They can't defend themselves like this."

"Well, isn't it fortuitous it didn't work on you, then?"

"You're the Sorcerer Supreme. Aren't you supposed to know this kind of thing?!"

Strange lifted one eyebrow. "There are many mysteries in the multiverse, Captain Rogers. As I said, I will have to go investigate them. And when I have an answer, I shall return with it. In the meantime…" Strange's eyes cut over to the kids. “I understand dinosaur nuggets usually go over well. With ketchup." He shifted his hand and the glowing, orange portal opened again.

"Yeah, thanks," Steve drawled. He turned back towards Bucky as Strange disappeared. "Pretentious assho-" His eyes cut to Clint who was clutching his jar in an eager sort of way. "-ssumer."

Clint's eyes narrowed.

"What do we do?" Bucky asked.

Steve shrugged, looking beyond panicked and into sheer terror. "Order dinosaur nuggets?"

Instead, they found four boxes of macaroni and cheese in the cupboard and lined the kids up at the breakfast bar with a bowl each. The kids tucked in and Bucky and Steve stood shoulder to shoulder and scraped out the rest of the pot with spoons.

Steve waved his orange-stained spoon in the air. "We can handle it."

"Sure why not? They're just kids. We can handle a bunch of kids."

Tony's hand shot up. "Can I be excused?"

"Sure, bud."

Tony took Bruce's hand and dragged him away from the breakfast bar and off to the living room. Bucky rinsed the empty pot and wriggled it into the dishwasher. There were a lot of weird things about the future, but dishwashers were just genius.

"Yeah, we can handle this," Steve said softly to himself, and Bucky came up beside him. Steve's jaw set. "If this gets out, we're going to have everyone who's ever had a mean thought towards any of us descending on the tower to try and get their hands on one of these kids."

"So we won't let it happen. Protecting the little guy is what you do, pal."

Steve shot Bucky the first real smile he'd seen on him all day. "Thanks, Buck."

Bucky cut his eyes away so his cheeks wouldn't heat and looked over at where Bruce was watching Tony take the TV remote apart. He paused, rolling a new idea around in his head. "So, uh, here's a question," he said. "Do you think they still have their powers?"

Steve followed his line of sight. "...Oh."

"Yeah. I mean, he's what? Seven? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad."

"I'll admit I don't know much about seven year olds, but I understand their temper tantrums can actually be pretty damn bad."

"Steve said a swear," came Clint's small voice from near Bucky's hip.

"Adult freebie." Bucky patted him on the head. "So, what? Are we just going to make sure not to piss tiny Bruce off?"

"Bucky said a swear now."

"Every adult gets their own freebie."

Steve tilted his head as he watched Bruce examine one of the batteries, chatting away with Tony, or rather listening quietly while Tony monologued. Bucky sighed. How did you keep a little kid from getting upset?

"Maybe he won't. Cause, you know, he's young now. He didn't get his… little problem until he was an adult. Maybe that got reverted too?"

"Maybe. Or maybe we're -" Bucky clapped his hands over Clint's ears "- totally fucked."

Clint tilted his head back to look up at Bucky. "Bucky said a swear."

"How do you know?"

Clint shrugged. "Why else would you cover my ears?"

Bucky looked up at the ceiling, begging for patience to be beamed down from whoever was in charge of that kind of thing. They needed to get this fixed fast, or a miniature Hulk was going to be the least of their problems.

For one, Clint was starting to rattle the jar ominously again, and Bucky was running out of quarters.