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the bright sessions crack text fic

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November 12, 2017 at 4:13 PM

Joan B: Dear Sam, Hello. -Joan.

SaMANTHA: oh my god am i witnessing joan bryant texting? What is this witchcraft??

Joan B: Very funny. -Joan

SaMANTHA: okay first off, you don’t need to sign your name, I can tell I’m texting you. It literally says so

Joan B: Ah.

SaMANTHA: I need to add you to the group chat, stat.

Joan B: What’s a group chat?

SaMANTHA added Joan B. to ayyyytypicals

Joan B has joined the chat

mochachloca: ooh hi dr bright!

Joan B: hello? Who is this?

mochachloca: its me, chloe!

Joan B: oh. Hello, chloe!

confusedbisexual: heya sis.

Joan: I’m guessing this is mark?

confusedbisexual: unless you have other siblings I don’t know about

Joan B: Yes, that’s definitely Mark. Mark, we’re literally in the same house right now.

confusedbisexual: and your point is?

SaMANTHA: annnyway, Joan desperately needs a nickname.

confusedbisexual: agreed

mochachloca: hear hear!

Joan B: What? I don’t-

SaMANTHA changed Joan B’s name to istanhighsociety

confusedbisexual: it’s on

confusedbisexual changed confusedbisexual’s name to thephilestoryisbetter

mochachloca: explain please?

SaMANTHA: no please don’t

Istanhighsociety: High Society is the far superior musical adaptation of The Philadelphia Story.

SaMANTHA: oh god

thephilestoryisbetter: which is a perfect movie, for the record.

mochachloca: what did I unleash

istanhighsociety: but high society has music by cole porter!

SaMANTHA: something monstrous

thephilestoryisbetter: ok but TPS’s dialogue is incredible, like the scene where-

SaMANTHA: nope

SaMANTHA has left the chat

thephilestoryisbetter: crap

Mark B to Sam B, 4:27 PM

Mark B: saaammm come baacckkk

Sam B: will you both stop?

Mark B: no promises

Sam B: at least you’re being honest

Mark B: will you come back now?

Sam B: fiiiiinnnee

SaMANTHA has entered the chat

Joan B: and that is why high society is truly a far superior adaptation. oh, hello Sam.

SaMANTHA: what did I miss?

mochachloca: only the entire summary of high society complete with footnotes and formatting. she literally created a word doc.

thephilestoryisbetter changed their name to bemusedbisexual

bemusedbisexual: only joanie would stoop to such nerdiness

Joan B: Oh shush. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have paperwork to do.

Joan B has left the chat

bemusedbisexual: touchy

SaMANTHA: eh, she rewatched the Philadelphia story with me yesterday, and admitted that the dialogue was very informative and witty.

bemusedbisexual: WHAT?! Joanie!!!

bemusedbisexual: okay she is never going to hear the end of this.

SaMANTHA: oh god this is the group chat isn’t it?

bemusedbisexual: yep.

SaMANTHA: Joan is going to have my head now, whyyy did you say that Sam?? Ughh

Joan B has joined the chat

bemusedbisexual: heya joanie. what’s this I hear about you enjoying the dialogue of The Philadelphia Society?

Joan B: samantha…

SaMANTHA: whoops

Joan B: why would you do this to me??

SaMANTHA: sorry not sorry

Joan B: betrayal!

catkinson: how do you all text this much in a short period of time? I’m honestly impressed.

bemusedbisexual: thank you, thank you.