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Selfish

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Sebas is back, Amelia hears.

She also hears he's more successful than ever. A rich young man. "Anyone would be lucky to have him as a husband", she hears them say.

From a distance, Amelia saw Luisita and Sebas reunite...

She saw how excited Luisita was... Her big beautiful smile and shining eyes...

Amelia runs back home and cries...

 

..

Luisita was so happy to see her old friend. Also, she woke up especially happy that morning (that might've had something to do with waking up with Amelia everyday).
She hugged Sebas and rambled on her questions and stories until someone told her they saw Amelia just then but she disappeared.

Luisita, confused, went home to her 'wife'. She just loves calling her that.

...

Amelia kept recalling the time she saw Luisita and Sebas kissing when she just got back to Madrid. And how they looked like one of those cliche romantic couples from the telenovelas. Tears kept falling as the fear of losing the love of her life sinks in deeper in her mind.

...

Luisita came home to a sobbing Amelia. Sitting on the floor, arms around her knees.

"Amelia, mi amor. What's wrong?"

Amelia looked up to see Luisita and cried even more. Luisita came to hug her and Amelia held on to her like her life depended on it.

Luisita could feel the pain Amelia was in even though she didn't understand it so she just let her woman cry as she held on to her, brushing her hair and whispering soothing and loving words into her ear.

When Amelia calmed down, Luisita gently cupped her face so she could look at her. Amelia understood the silent request through Luisita's pleading eyes.

"I thought what I wanted the most in life was to be with you."

This got Luisita surprised, confused and worried. Amelia held her hand reassuringly and kissed it before she put it against her cheek.

"You're the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me. You're my happiness, my love, my life."

Luisita put her other hand on Amelia's other cheek.

"And so are you to me. I don't understand-"

"When I saw you with Sebas..." Amelia cut her off.

"Sebas? What's he got to do with anything? Amelia, nothing's going on between me and him. Nothing ever went on." Luisita said, her voice becoming tougher and louder.

"Maybe there should've been!" Amelia snapped.

Luisita got even more confused and is now a little irritated.

"Amelia, what nonsense is this!?".

Amelia sighed and wiped her tears as more kept coming.

"When I saw you with him, my greatest fear was losing you. Then I saw you walking in. I saw your beautiful, perfect face and I saw how much love I have for you. I never thought I could love you more than I already had but I do. My love for you just keeps growing."

Luisita now has tears in her eyes. She grabs Amelia's hands and kissed them.

"It's the same for me too, Amelia. What's happening, my love? You're scaring me." She said as she moved Amelia's hair, wiping the tears along the way.

"I realize now what I fear more than losing you. What I fear most is not being able to give you the happiness you deserve."

Amelia looked at her, her eyes still pouring out the love she has for the woman in front of her.

"What are you talking about?" Luisita asked through sobs.

"I realize what I want the most is making sure you're at your happiest, my love. That you'll be able to live your greatest life. Loving freely, having a family."

Luisita holds on to her tighter. "And we'll have that, Amelia. We will!"

"I want You to have that, Luisita. And you can. When I saw you with Sebas, I saw how you felt for him."

"Amelia, I never loved him!"

"But you could have!"

Amelia looked away as she keep wiping at the tears that just won't stop falling.

"If i didn't come back, you could've fallen in love with him. If I wasn't here, you could've been together now. You could be having that perfect romance, no complications, no restrictions. Loving freely. You could start a family so easily. You couldn't have been in that fire, you couldn't have been in any of these terrible situations that are happening to us now. You could've been happier! But i ruined it! I ruined it, Luisita! I came and ruined your happiness and took you for myself because I am so selfish!"

Amelia covered her face with her sleeves as her crying gets even worse.

Luisita, understanding more clearly what's on Amelia's mind, coaxed her girlfriend and gently pulled her from her own arms.

"Amelia, look at me."

"No, you don't understand! You shouldn't have to settle for me, Luisita. You shouldn't have to live like this. You could have so much more!"

Luisita shook her head as she turned Amelia's face so she could look at her.

"What more could I want?"

Luisita's eyes were filled with nothing but love and she smiled. Always so beautiful as Amelia thought.

"I'm not settling for less, Amelia. And I'm not planning to. I'm here, wanting, trying, fighting to live at my happiest. And that is only possible when I'm with you. Don't you get it, by now?" She chuckled lightly as she's pointing out the most obvious thing in the world.

"You're the love of my life."

Luisita brushes Amelia's hair that was on her face again and kissed her softly but firmly.

Their kiss always feels like the first time they did it. Filled with so much love, so much fire, so much desire for each other.

"I want nothing more than to be with you, my love. You're my greatest joy. I want you all to myself."

Luisita says between kisses.

"You say I deserve to be at my happiest. Then, let me have it. Let me have you. There's no one, no one else I'd rather be with. It's always been and always will be you. There's no one else I want more than you."

Amelia's silent tears fell again and Luisita catches it with her thumb.

"You see, I'm selfish too." Luisita started crying again.

"So let's be selfish together."

She says as they continue to kiss. Luisita takes her time showing Amelia how much she wants her, how much she needs her. Each kiss, each touch, filled with reassurance and love. They made love with so many tears that day, so much passion, spending the whole day together, all to themselves.

 

...

"You know, being selfish isn't always a bad thing." Luisita says as they're laying down in each other's arms.

"It means letting yourself be happy." She continues as she stares lovingly into her lover's eyes.

"You deserve happiness too, my love." She kissed Amelia so gently, so tender, so soft but so full of love.

"So, I'm telling you, if you being selfish means having me for yourself, then so be it. Be as selfish as you can be. I'm all yours." She smiled her naughty smile and Amelia is welling up tears again.

"As long as you're happy with me, I'll keep you all to myself," Amelia says. It's the happiest she sounded that day.

"Forever it is, then."

Luisita curled her pinky finger around Amelia's just like how they used to do it. Only it means something else now. It's not just a kiss anymore. It's something more, something deeper. A binding of their hearts, their soul, their body. A promise to be as one for as along as they live...and forever after that.