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The Glitter Prince

Summary:

Dabi's been feeling down lately. Hawks is trying hard to cheer him up, but when the opportunity for payback on a prank comes up instead, he seizes it.

Notes:

With thanks to kind commenters for making me realise I could keep writing about them with that particular dynamic, even if the original story was done.

This story contains several references to 'Invincible' (the first story in this series) and will make more sense if you read the other story first. As much as a crackfic can make sense anyway.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"I'm a Villain, birdie. I accept it. I chose it. I embrace it. But I don't know if I have it in me to do something quite like that."

Sitting on the floor, Hawks moved the phone to his other ear and squeezed it between his face and shoulder while he kept scribbling on papers laid on the coffee table.

"I understand, Dabs. And that's okay. You don't have to keep thinking about it."

"But this isn't right. I'm a Villain. I've killed people. I'll do it again."

"It's okay to have limits. Boundaries."

"Not for me. I burnt them all at the pyre of my old life."

Hawks forced his face to remain serious so amusement wouldn't come out through the phone.

"Right. Very poetic."

There was a silence.

"Where do I go from here?"

"You'll figure it out. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Sure. Get the good brand of popcorn this time."

"Only the best for you, darling."

Hawks hung up and focused again on the small squares of paper in front of him. He bit into the pen, thinking. Dabi had been feeling quite down lately. It was getting harder to cheer him up. Thankfully, Hawks still had a few tricks up his sleeve.

The doorbell rang, interrupting his latest project. He didn't remember ordering any food though... Hawks got up and quietly tiptoed to the entrance, looking into the peephole before stepping back, even more confused. He opened the door wide. A kid, mid-to-late teens stood there. Black trousers, black t-shirt with what looked like an indie rock band design on front. Black cropped hair and, because why not, black domino mask to top it all.

The kid also happened to be carrying a dozen plastic bags with logos from Hawks' favourite takeaways in the neighbourhood, pushed toward him in a clear gesture of offering. Hawks could already smell the chicken.

"We need to talk," the kid said. "My name is The Hand of Darkness."

Okay.


Of course, Hawks let the Hand Of Darkness in. Chicken was on the line here, and also it would be nice to know how a civilian got wind of his supposedly private address. They settled in the living room, sitting on the floor beside the coffee table while Hawks carefully pushed the papers aside to make space for the feast. For his first bite, he picked a small nugget from a bucket the size of his head.

Exquisite.

"So, tell me, Hand of Darkness."

"The Hand of Darkness."

"All right. Would you tell me how you found me?" Hawks threw another chicken nugget into his mouth, savouring the texture.

"That is the very topic I came here to discuss. There is much to tell and yet so little time."

"What? Why? Are you in danger?"

"N-no? But I've been wanting to talk to you. You should know the League of Villains is after you."

"I see."

The Hand of Darkness nodded gravely. "I see even such news do not faze you. As expected of the #2 Pro Hero. Yes, indeed. Indeed! They sent me to spy on you, for weeks."

"They did?" And the kid never noticed Hawks himself was a member of the League?

"As a test of my skills, my courage and my stealth. My determination."

Stealth. Hawks had an idea where this was going, but first he wanted to make sure of something. "And why did they need to test you?"

"Hm, I– I was pretending to want to join them. For information. To bring them down. Yes! Yes. Alas, their recruiter, Dabi, the scoundrel! saw through me. I barely escaped alive."

If Dabi had wanted to get rid of the kid, he wouldn't have had a problem. More likely, Dabi had used the kid to mess with Hawks and the recruitment part had been bullshit from the start.

"What kind of mission did they give you exactly?"

"A very strange one indeed. I was to prevent you from getting your hands on chicken at all costs, without you noticing."

Hawks' fist closed around the nugget he was holding, crushing it. This was a lot more serious than he had anticipated.

"What's your quirk, kid?"

"My name is The Hand of Darkness, not 'kid.' Telekinesis quirk."

"Ah." It was Hawks' turn to nod gravely. "That's how the chicken got off the pan, isn't it?"

"It was I indeed... although... I think I saved you from yourself on that day. You just threw the chicken onto the pan without even a bit of oil, max fire and then turned away and started reading on your phone for like twenty minutes..."

"I was looking for a recipe! And it was barely a minute. At most."

There was a lot of judgement in the silence that followed.

Then the kid broke it by slamming both hands on the coffee table, threatening the stability of the chicken products mountain. Hawks' papers nearly fell on the floor and he hastily caught them, putting them back in a safe spot and out of reach of the kid. There was confidential information written on there.

"But! I'm also here to tell you that all hope is not yet lost! For I, through the use of those very same stealth skills, have discovered the location of their headquarters."

Hawks pondered. Of course, he knew where the League was staying too. But there was a decent potential for payback here, although he'd have to be careful not to involve the other League members. Their sense of humour wasn't great. Also, he was dying to make use of his latest purchase...

"Wait here a minute. I have to pack something and then you must show me where those headquarters are located. For the safety of our country– no, of the world!"

Hawks ran to the bedroom to grab the package and put on a black knit cap and his undercover sunglasses. They were useless but this was about principles.

"Show me the way."

They left. Hawks didn't notice his papers were nowhere to be seen.


They went through back alleys and streets with low footfall. The Hand of Darkness stuck close to the walls, eyes darting left and right at every step. As if walking beside Hawks and his gigantic red wings didn't make sneaking hopeless. Points for trying though. Very serious. He was going to get a crick in his neck at this rate.

The League was staying in an abandoned office at the top of a decrepit old building, only eight stories tall. The kid pointed at the last floor - the correct location. He had indeed found the League's latest lair.

"They're in there. Infiltration will be difficult though, I noticed some cameras."

Probably from the other, legit businesses in the building. Hawks took hold of the kid and flew up, bringing them to a balcony by the main room on the top floor. The windows were blackened from pollution after years without cleaning, which suited the occupants just fine. It should make the two of them more difficult to spot on the other side as well. Hawks peeked inside. No one was in there at the moment. That gave him a chance to test the kid's abilities.

"Okay, let me see what you're capable of. See, hm..." Oh, there was the old style, first-generation GameBoy Shigaraki had found god knew where. "That white gaming device there. Can you move it under the couch?"

The kid didn't so much as twitch and there the console went, already hidden from view. Hawks was impressed and barely stopped himself from cackling. This was perfect. The kid could reach where his feathers couldn't - not without breaking a window first.

"Now, for a more difficult one..."

He flew as silently as possible as he brought them around, by the window of the room Dabi usually stayed in. This time there was someone inside. Toga was pulling on Dabi's arm, trying to lead him out of the room. Dabi was letting her get away with it, dragging his feet as slowly as he could get away with without annoying her so much she would stab him. From so far outside, they couldn't make out the conversation.

"Oh, you were right," Hawks whispered. "There are dangerous Villains here. Here, would you open the package in my jacket and put the content in the top drawer over there. Oh, and also over the bed. Quietly!"

Hawks stayed still as the kid rummaged through his jacket's pocket and pulled one of the bottles out.

"This is... glitter?"

"Psychological warfare, kid. Advanced strategy."

"It's The Hand of Darkness," the kid mumbled but still. The glitter floated up through the tiny vents and covered the room inside.

"Do a second one too."

Somehow, Hawks could feel the eye roll as the kid didn't even use his hands to levitate the bottle out of the jacket and blasted the contents all over the room with an exasperated sigh.

The result was sparkling and beautiful. Hawks could barely repress a tear. Too bad he couldn't take a picture right now.

He flew around back to the balcony, where they discreetly peered inside. Spinner was starting a new console game on the TV while Shigaraki was lifting the couch cushions and looking under. Toga seemed to be... threatening Dabi? Or having a pleasant chat while waving her knife close to his face? It was hard to tell with her sometimes. Hawks leaned closer to the disgusting, single-glazed window so that he could see better. The two of them were playing some kind of board game... Battleship?

"Start removing the pegs on Dabi's side when he's not looking."

"What?"

"Shh! And it's psychological warfare, I told you."

The kid muttered something that sounded vaguely like "That's what Dabi called the chicken mission too." Hawks ignored him and leaned closer to the window so that he could hear better what was happening inside. Toga was getting annoyed at Dabi's lack of enthusiasm.

"Is it the hero, Dabi? Is he not treating you well?"

"It's nothing like that. Back off. C-4."

"Miss. Then why are you moping?! You avoided him for like three weeks. He's done something. F-10."

"That's a stupid move. Miss. And give him more credit, all right? You know he's not like that."

"I think next time I see him I'll ask him directly. Chicken skewer-style..."

"Lay off the bird, Toga. E-9."

"Hit. You're so frustrating."

Hawks fidgeted, distracted by Dabi saying nice things about him. He knew Dabi cared, of course. He was also the kind of person who showed that more with actions than with words. Hawks scratched at his stubble and tried to stop his face from breaking into a smile. This was ridiculous.

And so, this distracted state was his excuse for not noticing the kid getting ready to kick him in the rear and push him through the door. His face crashed against the gross window and pressed against the grime before the door slowly opened with a grinding noise loud enough to raise the dead. The door was probably too rusty to be fully lockable at that point. Small mercies. He didn't fancy running his face through a glass window right now. Then again, he hadn't really imagined either ever finding himself on all fours in front of the League of Villains. The kid even had the guts to put one booted foot on his bum in a "look at my prize!" pose Hawks had no patience for. He got up and dusted himself, pretending his dignity was intact. He was good at pretending.

"I brought you a Hero! Now you know I'm good enough to join the League!"

Dabi brought a hand to his face, hiding his eyes while he sighed deeply. Toga looked delighted and was juggling her knife from hand to hand, looking uncertain as to which of the intruders she wanted to run it through first. Spinner and Shigaraki had also paused their game.

"Tenebro. What the fuck are you doing here."

"It's The Hand of Darkness now."

Dabi let the new name sink in. "That is both worse and longer. Well done."

"I brought you the #2 Hero! That's way cooler than just tailing him."

"And led him right to our HQ too."

"I... I also got his plans! The fool let me in his apartment!"

As if Hawks would keep any important work document in his home. The papers in the kid's hands looked familiar though... Oh. Oh, no.

"Some days I wonder / If your pants are too baggy / Or your ass too flat. What the...?" After a bewildered pause, the Hand of Darkness selected another piece of paper. "Well well look at that / That's a nice butt you have here / What about leather?"

In the background, Shigaraki and Spinner started making gagging noises.

"Purple butt with scars / You–" The kid let his arms fall. "You already knew each other."

The papers drifted softly to the floor like broken butterflies. The kid looked so dejected, Hawks felt kind of bad and he patted his shoulders in an attempt at comfort. He was also kind of terrified of looking Dabi's way. When Dabi finally broke the silence though, there was no emotion in it.

"Yeah. We know each other. He's pretending to want to join the League so he can spy on us."

"Dabi! You know the League is important to me! I'm serious about this."

"We keep him around because he's pretty," Toga said.

"And also because he brings us snacks, sometimes," Spinner added, returning to the game.

"Guys," Hawks whined. He didn't like getting roasted. It didn't agree with his bird of prey aesthetic.

The Hand of Darkness was fuming. He pointed at Shigaraki.

"Hawks hid your GameBoy under the couch."

"He did what?"

Shigaraki rummaged under the furniture and pulled the GameBoy out. The screen was cracked. Shigaraki twitched on seeing that and a moment later, the whole console turned to dust. Hawks laughed nervously. Dabi was snickering, however the Hand of Darkness had not finished with delivering judgement. Next, he turned his pointed index finger at Dabi.

"Dabi made me hide the creepy peeling knife with the reversed blade to test my quirk."

"Hey! That's my favourite one. It took me a week to find it again."

Dabi was starting to look really annoyed at the kid. Was there any way to salvage this conversation? Unfortunately, Hawks didn't have much time to think. Now that the Hand of Darkness had started talking, he just wouldn't stop.

"And Hawks covered your entire room in glitter."

"All of it?"

Yeah, definitely better turn everyone's attention away from that topic, before Dabi realised his underwear drawer had not escaped the glitter blitz.

"Dabi's having an existential crisis because he can't bring himself to hunt down and kidnap an old lady!" Hawks shouted.

Everybody paused, looking different shades of appalled. Except for Dabi, of course, who looked ready for some violence. Hawks used the lull to send the Hand of Darkness away using a few feathers. The kid was a menace. Hawks spoke from a place of experience.

"Why do you want to cheat on Hawks with a granny?" Toga asked.

Dabi groaned. Now that Hawks thought about it though, maybe this hadn't been the smartest of distractions. Was anyone in the League in love with each other? Could they force themselves to fall in love and to kidnap an old lady for the small benefit of absolute, complete invincibility? How about never finding out.

Hawks looked around.

Shigaraki was still looking at the GameBoy dust in his hands, exuding a murderous aura one could nearly see with the naked eye. Spinner's colour had never quite recovered from the poem reading, queasy-looking and sometimes retching. Toga had gotten the peeling knife out and was using it to stab the battleships while staring at Dabi, unblinking.

Hawks turned to Dabi, arm outstretched in an invitation.

"Will you elope with me?"

Dabi rolled his eyes but grabbed his hand anyway, and Hawks put his arms around his waist and flew away backwards toward the balcony before shooting up the night skies. Sensitive to Dabi's motion sickness, he brought them at the top of a building not too far. They sat on the edge, looking down the city. Dabi was still annoyed though, and didn't waste any time asking the tough questions.

"Did you really cover my room in glitter?"

"Hm... Maybe?" When Dabi didn't particularly react, Hawks grew bolder. "Also, your underwear drawer?"

"You're so dumb. Like anyone would even know about that."

"I was looking forward to seeing it."

Dabi shoved his hand in Hawks' face and nearly threw him off the ledge. Hawks laughed.

"The kid had found the HQ on his own, by the way."

"Yeah. I let him tail me one day. Can't wait to have an excuse to move out of that dump. I'm sick of all those stairs."

"Aw, but your thighs have never looked so good!"

A comfortable silence fell. Hawks let his shoulder bump against Dabi's and stayed there, content. He'd been trying so hard to get Dabi out of his funk lately, it was nice to just spend a bit of time together without doing anything. The city lights shone brightly below. At this height, most of the sounds didn't reach them. Beside him, Dabi shivered. They'd left without even grabbing his jacket.

"What do we do now?" Dabi asked.

Haws rested his wing closer to him to block the cold winds and lifted a hand to the sky. "We have no choice but to live our life on the run, hiding both from mainstream and Villains alike."

"Come on."

"Dude. I can't face Shigaraki ever again."

"Because of the GameBoy? Or the poems?"

"Aw, shut up." Hawks' wings fluttered a bit. "What did you think, though?"

Dabi said nothing, but there was a small twitch to his lips that could potentially be interpreted as a smile, when squinting and tilting one's head slightly.

"Come on, you have to tell me."

"I don't have to do jack shit after you read them in front of everyone. Go ask them."

"You know it wasn't like that...," Hawks whined.

"Let's stay at yours tonight. You can buy the good popcorn on the way."

So bossy. Hawks suddenly thought up the perfect poem but first he had to shift a bit to make sure he could take off before Dabi had a chance to set his hair on fire.

Dabi knew him though, he noticed the movement and didn't even give him a chance.

"Just shut your mouth up / And get me the damn popcorn / Stupid pretty bird."

Taken by surprise, Hawks slipped off the ledge. He stopped his fall with a flap of the wings and slowly flew back up, staring at Dabi in awe. He had not thought the man would have it in him. Even now, Dabi stared back impassibly, as if something marvellous hadn't just happened.

Hawks rose a bit more until he could look down at Dabi and then dove onto him, kissing him full on the mouth while taking him up in his arms to fly home. He may have gone a bit faster than Dabi usually preferred on the way back. Blue fire and laughter lit up the night, only interrupted by Dabi narrowing his eyes.

"Wait. Is that Endeavor?"

They were flying quite high, well above the buildings where people could notice them too easily from balconies. Dressed all in flames though, Endeavor was easy to spot from a distance.

"Let's go fight."

"No way. This is a residential area and there's a warm couch waiting for us five minutes away."

"Let's do something at least."

Dabi dug his hand into Hawks' jacket, grabbing the last bottle of glitter. The jar had probably been digging into his side the whole time. He threw it at Endeavor without even opening it.

"Ah, come on."

Hawks launched a few feathers to orient the bottle and break it at the optimal moment for the glitter to land on Endeavor.

Something unexpected and miraculous happened: Endeavor started dancing.

This required a break to fully appreciate. Hawks landed them on top of a building and they watched.

"Did you poison that glitter, birdie?"

"No way!" Hawks looked on as Endeavor broke into a sweat, karate-chopping the glitter falling on his sides while setting on fire the particles above and just about slapping himself trying to remove the sparkles stuck to his face. "Oh my god! He must be thinking it's some kind of offensive quirk!"

On the balconies, people were muttering, wondering what was going on while recording the scene on their phones. Delightful.

"Come on, we have to get home and see what remixes people upload!"

Dabi gripped his arm hard to stop him. His eyes were bright but the smirk splitting his face was all teeth.

"Just a bit longer, birdie."

Notes:

You have no idea how much I wish I could have written a full sonnet about Dabi's butt. Alas, I am no poet, nor a butt person so we only get the haiku/senryu version instead.

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