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Heartache Tonight

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The crew had been on edge for weeks, counting down the seconds until shore leave. Finally the day had come. Crew members stepped off the Enterprise in droves, your best friend linking their arm through yours. It was odd seeing your crew mates in civvies, all appeared equal. No designations of rank, just people, and you would be lying if you said that didn’t thrill you. There was no denying your attraction to a certain Captain James Tiberius Kirk. You were a command officer, Ensign Y/L/N, essentially a no one to any one of higher rank. But Kirk always said hello in passing, never once forgetting your name.

You felt a tug on your arm. “Bar, now.”

“Fine.” You mumbled, allowing yourself to be dragged along to the bar, you glanced around, searching for that familiar blonde head of hair. You couldn’t see it anywhere, and you were disappointed. Perhaps a night of drowning yourself in alcohol would save the day. As you entered the bar you saw several crew members locked in embraces around the perimeter. You maneuvered around a couple whose faces were fused together to get to the bartender.

“Two shots of the strongest shit you have.” You said, he looked you and your friend up and down then shrugged, placing the two shot glasses in front of you. “Cheers.” You muttered, taking the shot. You winced at the burn, suddenly regretting asking for the strongest shot.

Your friend started to cough, eyes wide on you. “What the hell was that?” They snapped.

You shrugged, ordering your favorite drinks as they walked to a table, you noticed eyes following them. No doubt you were going to be left alone soon. You turned from them to take the drinks. Sure enough, there was an engineering ensign standing next to them. You pushed the drink into their hand, they barely noticed.

You noticed an empty table in the corner and made your way there, sitting in the stool facing both your friend, and the door. Glancing around at all the pairs you sighed, somebody’s gonna hurt someone, before the night is through, you thought wryly. Which wasn’t anything different from any other shore leave. You could feel the tension in the air as a few lieutenants made a move on a younger ensign, noticing a man in the corner looking like he was about to come undone. You glanced at your watch, a bit early for a bar fight in your opinion, but you weren’t an expert in these things.

The man stood and made his way to the ensign, his hand on the small of her back. The lieutenants quickly vacated the area, circling the bar, looking for their next chase. You took a deep breath and a long sip of your drink. Probably the worst part of shore leave was the first night. Everybody wanted to touch somebody, and if it took all night for them to get off, they’d wait all night. You noticed a younger girl sulking in the corner, glaring at the lieutenants circling the bar, talking up some of the locals.

You knew there was going to be great a lot of heartache tonight, but the magic of shore leave was that it would disappear in the morning. You glanced up as the crowd began murmuring. There was that golden hair you had been looking for, those broad shoulders, you felt a tingle move down your spine. You knew you shouldn’t, but damn did you want to take a chance tonight. Who knew, maybe it would turn out alright?

He made his way to the bar, flanked by Doctor McCoy and Commander Spock. Your eyes followed his frame. He turned, a beer in hand and said something to McCoy. The doctor left his side to join a table of medical staff. Spock’s lips moved and he left the Captain’s side to join Uhura in a corner. That left him alone at the bar. His back rested against the bar as he surveyed the area. Your eyes moved down his body, taking in his appearance. On the bridge you were used to seeing him in command gold. Tonight he was in a brown leather jacket, black t-shirt, and jeans that should have been banned. Your eyes made their way up his frame and were met by his blue ones.

“Shit.” You mumbled under your breath, taking another swig of your drink. A smirk broke across his face and he raised his beer your way with a wink. You could feel your face burn, but you still raised your glass to him. He broke your eye contact first by glancing down at his feet, then around the room again. Perhaps it had just been a friendly acknowledgement.

The night grew on and you found yourself still in that corner of the bar. Jim had not left his post at the bar. Several people had approached them and he brushed them off. It was odd, Jim had always been one to be the first out of the bar with someone wrapped around him. You sighed, on your third drink of the night. Your friend was wrapped around the ensign from earlier. You knew that they would be fine, they had been testing the waters with that particular ensign for a while now. You took another drink and felt a shadow settle over you.

You looked up to see Jim Kirk in front of you. “This seat empty?” He asked, nodding to the seat next to you.

“Extremely.” You answered.

He chuckled and sat down, setting his beer on the table. “So, why aren’t you wrapped up in this corner with some ensign?”

“It would seem I’m not the type to tickle the fancy of an ensign.” You answered, meeting his blue eyes that had darkened into a midnight blue.

“That’s a shame for them.” He answered, “They’re missing out.”

A more logical version of yourself would have stopped him there. He hardly knew you, how could he say that someone was missing out on your company. But this was shore leave you, and they didn’t have time for rational thought. “If only they knew.”

He hummed and took a sip of beer, finishing the bottle in front of him. “So, how much longer are you going to stay?”

You glanced at your watch, a bit surprised by the time. His eyes set on you, you shifted a bit in your chair. “As long as you are.”

A Cheshire grin spread across his face, “In that case,” He offered you his hand. “What do you say we get out of here?”

You placed your hand in his, threading your fingers with his. Butterflies erupting in your stomach as you made your way to the door. Once you were outside the bar he lead you into an alley, he pressed your back against the wall, his face almost touching yours. “Is this alright? We can stop at any time. We can leave this right here.”

“Yes.” You murmured, pushing away any reservations you had, there was n

He closed the gap between the two of you, his lips moving slowly, hands resting on your waist. Your heart fluttered in your chest as you felt his beating in a steady rhythm against your front, the cool wall against your back. Your hands rested on the back of his neck, your knees grew weak as he deepened the kiss. You could feel the heat rolling of the two of you into the crisp night air. His teeth gave small nips to your bottom lip, causing you to gasp. He pulled away, you felt yourself let out a small whine. He leant his forehead against yours, his right hand giving a slight squeeze to your hip. “My apartment isn’t far.” He said, holding his arm out to you. You linked your arm through his, praying that your grip would keep you upright from that kiss.

The moonlight illuminated your walk. Conversation was light, but natural. You wondered how you found yourself in this moment. He turned to an apartment building and led you in through the door, then into the elevator. Your heart picked up pace. It was a short distance from the elevator to his door. “You can go back any time.” He said as he hesitated at the door.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You answered.

He nodded and pushed the door open. You entered his apartment, it was a warm atmosphere. There were few things cluttering the living area, but it was homey. Jim pulled you in for another kiss, this one more heated than the last. His front pressed against yours and you could feel him straining against those damn jeans. You moaned as his hands moved under your shirt. Time stopped as he pulled you into the bedroom with him. He fell onto the bed and pulled you on top of him. His leather jacket splayed open, his black t-shirt rising up to show a bit of his toned stomach. He pulled you down for another kiss, this one pushing any and all thoughts from your mind.

You woke next to him, it was still dark, he had tucked you against his side. His breathing even, you traced the shape of his face with your hand. You felt your heart begin to ache, no matter how much you wanted, no matter how much you needed, all you would ever be was a stolen night on shore leave. But what you did not know, was that Kirk pulled you closer, wanting this night to last forever.