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A Decade of Winters

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The snow glances off the window outside the warm security of our tiny cabin above the sea. I awake to the pale bare expanse of her back, and trace from the smooth span of one shoulder to the other, from the protruding ridges of her spine to the edge of the blanket that coats her hips.

All I am is a man
I want the world in my hands

I loop my hand around her waist and pull her towards me, marveling at being here with her, and dancing my mouth over her neck to press her against my chest as she stirs.

I hate the beach
But I stand in California
With my toes in the sand

The infection seemed almost insignificant yesterday when she had battled through the subway tunnels to the top of the roller coaster; where I had gathered her, my Annah, against me, and warmed her hands against the rags of my sweater.

Use the sleeves on my sweater
Let’s have an adventure

None of it really seemed to matter now when I have her back in my arms, and death no longer rasps down her neck. So instead I pull her closer, and bury my face into the choppy ends of her hair, pulling her warmth towards me, and vowing to face the world again tomorrow.

Head in the clouds but my gravity’s centered

Last night I held her against me in our tiny cabin, and as the snow fell outside the window, Annah pushed my coat from my shoulders, and I pulled the soft hat I had given her from her head.

Touch my neck and I’ll touch yours
You in those little high waisted shorts

She pulls at the hem of my shirt and when it is free she runs her fingers down my chest, making me shiver as her fingers dance over the angry lines of my bite scar. She pulls off her damp clothing and grabs the large quilt that Gabry had put in the room for us.

She knows what I think about
And what I think about

She wraps it around our shoulders, cloaking us in the fading twilight, and sinks onto the bed in the corner of the room. In that moment is all I can do to not shake as I carefully wrap my arms around her and kiss her amongst the swathes of fabric.

One love, two mouths
One love, one house
No shirt, no blouse
Just us, you find out

I run my lips across the scars on her face and brush away the soft strands of her hair. Her breath hitches at the sudden proximity, and she had presses her face into my neck, her broken nails tracing lightly across the muscles of my arms.

Nothing I really wanna tell you about, no

I brought my mouth down to hers before stopping and pulling away, pushing her away, and in almost a fever she resists, pushing her tongue deep into my mouth and drawing her strong legs to straddle my hips. She pulls the heat from my skin into her mouth and sweeps her tongue over my collarbone. She works her way down my body over my chest, her mouth leaves a trail of fire as it traces the fine line of hair that runs down my stomach.

Cause it’s too cold
For you here
And now

I grasp her chin and still her face, “Annah, we can’t,” I whisper, my voice as loud as if I had shouted across a cathedral in the dark. Her eyes go hard as she pulls away, kneeling above me, haloed in the dim light of the cabin.

So let me hold
Both your hands in the holes of my sweater

“You don’t want me?” She hides her face behind her hair and withdraws, he can see the humiliation and rejection coursing through her again, bringing the armor of her scars to prominence in the pale light. The cold outside of our cocoon begins to pimple her skin and she shivers in her slim bralette and boy shorts. I reach out to her, but then let my arms fall back to my sides.

And if I may just take your breath away
I don’t mind if there’s not much to say

“Of course I do, but I…” I trail off, and wait for Annah to looks through her curtain of hair and meet my eyes, “But I can’t hurt you, Annah I could kill you, and you would die in my arms, and then I would lose you again.” I’m practically begging her to leave me, but I can’t think of a better place for her than in my arms.

Sometimes the silence guides your mind
To move to a place so far away

She knows that she is my one true weakness, and my final defeat will be when I lose her. Her eyes are pools of sadness, and in our short lives where we have lost almost everything, she has become my one precious possession, the force that holds the broken shards of me together. When I wandered the hordes of the Dark City it was for her sanctuary. “We are drifting on this sea with no shore in site, and do you honestly believe that right at this moment this world we live in could give a damn about any of that? I fell in love with you before I even realized I did, and you pulled me from the grasp of the Dark City and put me back together again. Catcher, tomorrow we could wake up and we might never fall asleep again, so just this once I’m asking if you understand that I would rather risk my life in the safety of your arms than in the swarming hordes that surround us. I love you because you are my life.”

The goosebumps start to race
The minute that my left hand meets your waist

“Annah,” she meets my eyes with her own. “I live my life for you, and I won’t ever let you go.” I reach across the expanse between us and waits for her to come back to me. When she does I pull her close, press a kiss to her forehead, and tuck her head beneath my chin, pulling her small frame close and locking her in my arms, I promise silently to keep her there forever, safe and far away from the desolation of humanity. I run a hand up her spine, my finger pulls at the clasp of her bra, and she freezes against me before she relaxes, and presses into the palm of my hand. I flick the clasp and slowly draw the fabric from her skin, remembering that day when I found her frolicking in the newly fallen snow, how she had bared her heart to me, and how lovely I had found her pale skin when she had pressed my hand against it. I place my hand against her heart again, caressing her cold stiffened nipples, and taking the faint whimpers from her mouth into my own.
“Annah, Annah, how could you possibly not think that you’re beautiful?”

And then I watched your face

“How do you forget that you’re broken? I only feel beautiful when I’m with you.” I brush my face along her neck and traces down the smooth line of her stomach to flit my fingers over her warm center. I slowly tug her boy shorts down her legs, and trails my hand up her thigh. I part her folds and run a calloused finger over her pulsing clit before sliding two fingers into her as she gasps. She shudders and digs her nails into my skin. I rub her walls and place soft kisses down her neck, whispering how lovely she is and how together we are not as broken as we were before. She writhes against me and I add another finger, bringing my thumb hard down onto her clit and circling it roughly, pumping faster as her walls start to close. Her voice is shaky and her breath hot across his face as her heart slows.

Put my finger on your tongue
Cause you love to taste

I bring my coated fingers up and drags them across her lips and into my mouth, savoring the taste before pressing my mouth against hers. She reaches down to grasp me through my thin shorts and pushes them off my legs. I push air through my teeth as her small hand strokes down and runs her thumb over the slit, spreading the beading liquid over my length. My breath comes out in gasps and I reaches down to grasp her hands and kiss each of them before pulling them over her head, leaning into her and shifting my weight to rest between her legs.

These hearts adore
Everyone the other beats hardest for

I bring my mouth to her neck and releases her hands to trail down her sides. She takes my face between her palms and whispers against my lips. “I love you Catcher.” I kiss her fiercely, but carefully, the infection always at the front of my mind.
“Annah, are you sure?” She presses up against me in answer, rolling her hips and making me gasp. “Annah?”

Inside this place is warm
Outside it starts to pour

“Yes,” she breathes and runs her hands up and down my back. I lift up, careful to not crush her with my weight, and positions myself at her entrance. I push into her slowly, and her arms clasp around me, effectively reducing the space between us.

Coming down
One love, two mouths
One love, one house
No shirt, no blouse

She groans and bites down on the junction between my neck and shoulders, pressing her nails into my back as she tries to relax. I stop above her, shudders racking my body as I wait for her to adjust. I kiss her open mouth and slowly pull out again as she writhes.

Just us, you find out
Nothing I really want to tell you about
No

My mouth folds over her shoulder as I move inside her, and I think that we are not that different from the unconsecrated, always trying to consume each other. Our foreheads are pressed together and in one moment she pushes her hips up to meet mine, ripping a growl from my throat. She pushes up again and her broken nails dig into my sides as she curls her feet over my calves, shaking from her core and whispering my name. “Catcher, Catcher, Catcher.”

Cause it’s too cold
For you here
And now
So let me hold
Both your hands in the holes of my sweater

I thrust a few more times before pulling out and releasing against her leg. I collapse over her, and Annah reaches her hand out to twine her fingers with mine. Her nails scratch against my scalp and I breathe in the sweet scent of her skin along her neck.

It’s too cold, it’s too cold
The hands of my sweater.

I kiss her gently and sit up, hands reach out for me as the frigid air ruffles her skin, and places quiet finger to her lips. I run over her skin with a soft rag and curl back against her. Arms encircling each other as we drift to sleep on an ocean of the undead.

 

Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood