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Paradise by the Dashboard Light

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“This is why I hate the Drive-In! Too much drama!” groans Lance as soon as the car door shuts.

Allura is pretty sure she just spotted her boyfriend in a car with another woman (after telling her he wasn’t free tonight.)

“Allura, wait for me!” bellows Romelle as he rockets out of the passenger side. She’ll go calm Allura down… or rile her up. Who knows? She’s been harbouring a secret crush on Allura for who knows how long so pushing for a breakup is definitely in her favour.

“Guys? Guys? Is it a scary scene?” asks Hunk. He’s got his hands over his eyes, same as he has since the trailers ended. “The music sounds scary. Does that mean it’s scary?”

“Why would we need to tell you if it’s a scary scene when you cover your eyes even if it’s not?” demands Pidge.

“I dunno. What if I accidentally get brave and look at the exact moment Head Ripper decapitates someone?”

“Head Ripper doesn’t decapitate people, Hunk,” scolds Lance. “They call him that because he plays mind games with his victims and reads their reactions so he can tell their weaknesses and use that against them like he’s ripping into their heads.”

“Oh thank goodness,” says Hunk, spreading his fingers open a bit to peak out towards the screen.

“And then he axes them in the skull.”

SLASH and THUNK goes the axe into Head Ripper’s first victim. Hunk shrieks in reaction while Lance grins at the blood.

“The effects are pretty cool,” says Pidge, reading Lance’s thoughts.

“And you thought the old school 3D wouldn’t pay off,” he says, poking at his red and blue lensed glasses.

“It’s an odd choice for a Blockbuster but the old school feel is paying off.”

“Ohhh I’m dizzy,” moans Hunk, putting his head between his legs. “I don’t like blood.”

“It’s okay, big guy,” says Pidge, rubbing his back. “Slow, steady breaths. Just think about a meadow with nice hopping bunnies and - FUCK YEAH ANOTHER HEAD SPLIT!!”

“Gah!” swears Lance as he missed it. He was too busy looking over at Hunk. He kicks the seat in front of him in frustration and immediately regrets it. This is Allura’s fancy new ‘my parents are rich and bought me a car just ‘cause’ SUV and he should not be leaving marks on the backs of the seats. “This is why I wanted to go to a regular theatre on opening night and not invite Hunk,” Lance grumbles as he wipes at the shoe print with the sleeve of tee.

“Ah rude!” snaps Pidge.

“No, no, that’s fair,” agrees Hunk. “I hate slasher films. I only came because Allura said it was going to be a group hangout but her and Romelle left so can I go too?”

Lance groans and drops his back against the seat. “This is why I hate the drive-in. Everyone comes and goes as they please. It’s drama central!”

“Please,” snorts Pidge. “You say that like you’re not having your own side drama.”

“I am not having my own side drama,” protests Lance, looking to the left out his window.

“There!” says Pidge, smacking Lance on the arm. “You just looked at him!”

“Looked at who?” asks Lance while stealing another glance at the convertible parked one space over. There’s no car in the spot between them, giving Lance a clear view of the boy with the unruly black hair covered by a slouched knitted hat.

“At Keith!” exclaims Pidge.

“Um, I’m wearing 3D glasses,” says Lance sarcastically. “I can’t really see him.” But of course as soon as he says this he impulsively tips down his glasses to get a better look at the smug Korean guy, popping Milk Duds in his mouth and slowly rolling them around on his tongue while he stares at the screen and - nope- he just looked directly back at Lance.

Lance panics and ducks.

“Oh my god, Lance,” groans Pidge. “Could you be any weirder around him?”

“He just rubs me the wrong way!” whines Lance.

“You’ve been saying that since high school but you literally never even talk to him and he always keeps to himself so what exactly is your problem with him?”

“Nothing!” snaps Lance. “I wasn’t even looking at him until you said something. It’s - it’s him who keeps looking at me.”

“Then close your window,” suggests Pidge.

“They are tinted,” adds Hunk.

Lance feels heat rising in his cheeks. He should just close the dumb window. “It’s too hot in here with the windows closed,” he barks. He looks back to the screen. “Oh man, when did Head Ripper take that guy’s arm off?” This gets a gag from Hunk. “We’re missing stuff talking.”

Hunk swallows back his puke and opens the door. “Okay, I give up. I’m going to get a snack to settle my stomach,” then he says quietly, “and maybe hide in the bathroom until this is over.”

“Sweet. No more bitch seat,” says Pidge, sliding from the middle seat over to the back passenger side.

“And all the distracting people are gone,” agrees Lance. “So maybe we can finally watch Head Ripper 6…”

Then in unison they say in their best ‘trailer voice’ “... The final head rippin’ing.”

Lance hears a snort of a laugh and looks over to see it’s Keith tittering at them. Ugh. Bro probably doesn’t even like the Head Ripper movies. He probably just got dragged along by the guys in the front seat. Maybe snuck in inside the trunk… that would be a Keith thing to do.

“Ah yes sick!” cries out Pidge.

Lance flicks his attention to the screen to see blood running into a drain on the dirty basement floor. Fuck! He missed something really gory. How is he still not paying attention when all the distracting people are gone?

“You fucking asshole!” Allura’s voice cuts through the park causing a ripple effect of heads in cars turning towards the sound.

“Allura, let me explain!”

There’s a SMASH and a car alarm goes off.

“Annnnnd that would be his brake light,” mumbles Lance.

“Wouldn't be the first time,” agrees Pidge. Kicking in a brake light is Allura’s go to move in all car related betrayals. Not even the first time she’s kicked in this particular beau’s brake light.
Just as Lance turns back to the movie, something heavy collides with Pidge’s window. There’s a rapping against it. Lance turns to see Romelle’s face pressed there. Pidge rolls down the window. “What’s up?”

“She smashed another tail light.”

“You should’ve stopped her.”

“Fuck that. I told her to do it. Anyway, Park Security Officer is heading her way.”

“Shit, does she need a couple Karen's to back her up?”

“Karen’s assemble,” says Romelle, fist bumping Pidge through the window. They open up the door and follow Romelle.

“Have fun asking to speak to a manager,” calls out Lance as the door shuts.

Alone. Finally. Now he can foc --

Lance’s door opens up. He’s certain Hunk got up the courage to come back, but then the voice says, “Move over.”

Lance snaps his head to see Keith pushing his way into the car.

“I said move over,” he repeats and Lance is so thrown, he scuffles over, allowing Keith to sit down in what was once his seat and shut the door.

“Are you robbing me?” asks Lance, now pressed against the passenger side door.

“Why would I be robbing you?” asks Keith. “You don’t have anything.”

“Okay fair, but why else would you be here?”

“I just wanna watch the movie, okay?” says Keith, settling into LANCE’S SPOT, and turning his 3D-glasses-sporting face towards the screen.

“You were watching the movie,” Lance quite rightfully points out, “from the car you came in.”

Keith shakes his head, but keeps watching the screen. “My brother and his boyfriend won’t stop talking! And asking me questions. Like, why did Head Ripper remove the Priest’s collar before axing him in the planetarium?”

“Because it reminded him of the white line in the center of the highway where he was hit by the mac truck and left for dead,” Lance and Keith say in unison.

“Exactly,” says Keith. “It’s like they never even watched Head Ripper 4 -”

“Night of the Living Head Rip,” they say in unison.

“See, you get it,” says Keith. “Anyway. Your car looked peaceful. Milk Dud?” Keith doesn’t even offer the box. He has one in his hand he holds out, pinched between two surprisingly delicate fingers.

“Okay,” says Lance, who is usually more of a germaphobe than this. Before he can reach out a hand, Keith flicks the dud towards him without warning. Lance snatches it out of the air.

“Nice reflexes,” says Keith, before turning back towards the screen. He slides another dud out of the box and pops it into his mouth. His cheeks hollow as he sucks on it.

Caught up watching this, Lance pops his own Milk Dud in his mouth and instead of chewing, sucks on it the same way. The chocolate coats his tongue. It’s nice.

“Fuck, are you seeing this?” chuckles Keith.

Lance can hear the groans and screams coming from the radio speakers. He missed another gory part and for what? A chocolate coated tongue and a view of ear studs and a nice jawline?!

“Yo, you’re in my spot!”

Lance starts and looks to see Pidge crouched and framed in the window.

“How are you done already?”

“I gave the Security Officer a ‘Do you know who my parents are?’ and he practically bowed as he backed away.”

“Your parents aren’t anyone special.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m white so they could be.”

Lance sighs. “As long as you use your powers for good…”

“Now shove over,” orders Pidge.

“I can’t. Keith took my spot.”

Pidge looks over, noticing Keith for the first time. Pidge smirks. “Oh, so you found a bitch for the bitch seat?”

“Huh?” says Keith.

Pidge walks around the back of the car and opens the driver’s side. They push themselves in and Keith automatically slides into the middle seat. He does look at Pidge all skeptical though then turns to speak to Lance, cocking a thumb in the direction of Pidge.

“So do they know who stole the Head Ripper’s mask in Head Ripper 2: Revenge of the Head Ripped and donned it thereby invoking the spirit of the original Head Ripper or are they normal?”

“The Hamlin Mansion’s Groundskeeper, duh,” huffs Pidge.

“They can stay,” says Keith.

“Not your car, dude,” says Lance.

Keith flicks another Milk Dud in Lance’s direction. He almost doesn’t catch this one because he’s distracted by how Keith is manspreading his legs but favouring the right so that both their knees are now touching. He also notes Keith never offers Pidge a Milk Dud.

“Did you read that fan theory that the Groundskeeper is the original Head Ripper’s son’s twin brother?” asks Keith.

“Wouldn’t that also make him the Head Ripper’s son?” asks Lance.

“I have heard that theory,” says Pidge, ignoring Lance’s valid point. “Here’s why it’s false. First off - “

“Where are Romelle and Allura?” asks Lance, wondering why they never came back.

“Bathroom? Girl stuff? I dunno.”

“More?” asks Keith, holding out the Milk Duds box.

Lance can see his own reflection in Keith’s blue and red glasses. He’s going to blame that distraction on why he didn’t notice Keith tip the box out this time and why he moved his hand before they poured out, making them miss Keith’s target.

“Fuck,” swears Lance, feeling the Milk Duds roll across his lap and into crevasses unknown.

“I take back the nice reflexes comment,” mutters Keith.

“Is chocolate hard to get out of leather seats?” asks Lance.

Pidge snorts in response.

“Here,” says Keith, tucking his hand behind Lance’s ass to pull out a stray Milk Dud.

“It’s okay! I got it!” huffs Lance, cheeks heating up red.

“Chocolate melts fast,” counters Keith and he’s still poking his hands around, wrapping behind Lance’s waist, ghosting fingers over his thighs, leather covered hands dipping between Lance’s open legs to find the last of the stray Duds.

Maybe it’s dark and that’s the reason, but the back of Keith’s hand drags over the crotch of Lance’s jeans before he lifts it to his face and POPS it into his mouth to be sucked on and rolled around on that tongue. Savoured until it’s sugar is melted away to a ghost of a memory.

Lance’s jeans are too tight. Why is that happening?

It’s too hot in here.

Lance tries to lower the window only to discover it’s already lowered.

“Y’okay?” asks Keith. Lance spots the now naked caramel center dance over his tongue as he asks.

He forgets to answer.

“Ew kissing scene,” says Pidge, wiggling in their seat.

Lance finally finds the will to look at the screen again. The love stories in these movies are always so forced. Model hot guy, model hot girl. Barely can act. They always have sex while on the run from Head Ripper and always seal their fate to get killed because of the devious act.

“If I had a murderer after me, I would not stop running to get laid.”

“I dunno,” shrugs Keith, his shoulder brushing against Lance’s as he does so. “If it was my last chance to get laid. Plus Christian Lewis can get it.”

That… that’s the male actor. Does Keith mean Christian Lewis attracts women or that Christian Lewis can get it from him… Keith?

What is happening?

On screen the couple begins to screw against a car in the middle of the woods. It’s dumb but kinda hot too and that is not helping Lance calm down.

“If you’re scared you can hold my hand,” offers Keith, holding his hand out.

“Why would I be scared during a sex scene?” asks Lance and his voice comes out far too shrill.

Keith just shrugs again, but when he drops that hand - that naughty hand- it falls on Lance’s knee no thigh no… it’s heading up. It’s almost close enough to feel Lance’s whole… ‘situation.’

“My hand’s there if you want it,” hums Keith and his 3D glasses have tipped down low on his nose so Lance can see his eyes. The purple running lights inside the SUV make his eyes look purple too.

God they’re so pretty…

Lance licks his lip. It’s involuntary. Keith notices, a smirk forming across his lips. Whatever is passing between them is inexplicable.

Lance should turn back to the movie. He should let this moment pass and forget about it.

And he does turn back into the movie… but not before lifting up Keith’s hand and placing it down right in the magic spot…

Keith gives it a squeeze. It sends tingles through Lance’s body.

“Okay, they’ve been fucking for like two minutes straight,” groans Pidge. “I’m getting popcorn then I’m going to round up our lost sheep.”

“Bye Pidge,” says Lance, looking at Keith instead.

“Yeah, bye Pidge,” says Keith, staring right back. As soon as that car door slams, Keith is on him, kissing him.

His mouth tastes like chocolate and caramel. His pierced tongue pushes into Lance’s mouth. His hand massages Lance’s bulge.

It takes Lance several seconds to kiss him back.

Wait. No. That’s a lie he kisses him back immediately but it takes him several seconds to register he’s kissing him back. The kiss-back was automatic. Why was the kiss-back automatic?

He knows by the way Keith is pawing at him, he could probably feel up Keith right back, but… Keith’s a boy. Lance has never done this with a boy.

He’s definitely made out at a drive-in before, but not with another boy.

Lance is just starting to implode with panic when Keith kisses his way down to Lance’s neck and gives it a firm suck. Lance lets out a moan. Keith raises up his head and pushes off his now eschew 3D glasses. The look on his face is just so satisfied.

It suddenly occurs to Lance he’s never had someone look so interested in his pleasure. It makes his cheeks grow red hot.

“S’okay,” says Keith with a soft smile. “I know you’re shy.”

“Me? Shy?” huffs Lance. That is the opposite of what Lance is. He’s a ‘loud mouth’ and ‘too much.’ No one has ever called him shy.

Keith just chuckles, sliding up to the edge of the seat. “I get shy around you too,” he says. Lance doesn’t have a chance to process the idea of Keith never talking to him before because Lance makes him ‘shy’ because at that moment Keith slips completely off the seat and down onto his knees. “But I’m getting better.”

Lance’s brain stops working.

Keith shuffles on his knees until he’s between Lance’s spread open knees. And there is room for this because Allura’s new car has ample leg room. Perfect for a back seat blowjob.

Holy shit! Lance is going to get a blowjob at the drive-in!

Holy shit! Lance is going to get a blowjob from Keith!


Lance’s attention is drawn away from Keith unzipping his fly and up towards the screen. “Oh man, who just died?!” he moans.

“It was just the gas station attendant who returned to warn them that he recognized the car tailing them from a newspaper clipping from 1984 about unsolved slayings that he saved for some reason.”

“How do you know that?” demands Lance. Keith has not been looking at the screen. Unless he has eyes on the back of his head…

“Because this movie has been in theatres for three days,” says Keith, removing his hands from Lance’s fly to put them on his hips. “So this is my third time seeing it.”

“You already saw this movie! Then why were you complaining about your brother and his boyfriend talking during it?”

“Because it’s just as good every time and it’s distracting to be asked questions, but not half as distracting as you throwing me sex eyes every two minutes. Switching cars solved a lot of my problems.”

“... I didn’t give you sex eyes!!” barks Lance.

“You did,” counters Keith, “and you’ve been doing it for a good few years now.”

“Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!” disagrees Lance, flapping his arms about. “I have never once… in my life… given you sex eyes.”

“Okay,” says Keith getting up and moving back to the seat beside Lance. “I misread this.”



“W-well misunderstandings aside now that you’re here…” Lance gestures to his lap. Even he realizes he is showing less than zero game.

“Naw,” shrugs Keith. “I was only interested in missing my movie if we were breaking years worth of sexual tension.”

“But you’ve seen it two times!”

“And you’ve fantasized about me sucking your cock zero times.”

This bluntness flusters Lance. He wants to argue back, but what would he say? That he’s never once in his life imagined Keith delicately drop down to his knees? Never imagined him parting those (now confirmed) soft lips to accept the head of his cock before sinking down low and dragging that pierced tongue -

Lance squirms, his cock so uncomfortably hard. Does not help that Keith has found a stray Milk Dud somewhere and is sucking on it while rolling it around on his tongue.

“Okay, so like say maybe at some point,” says Lance, rushing through his words, “You might have popped into my head while… gratifying myself. If I were to confirm that happened, would that be enough for us to rewind to where we were before I opened my dumb mouth when you already had your very hot mouth open?”

Keith turns to Lance, giving a shake of his head. “I’m asking you to admit you want me to blow you in exchange for literally blowing you? If you think that’s unreasonable, that’s on you. I don’t hook up with a lot of guys. I wanna be with someone who likes me. If you don’t like me, that’s fine. I’ll watch my movie.”

Lance is gonna burst. “Why are you like this?!”

“What? Having standards for how I’m treated? Would you ask a girl you like that? Are you actually that big of a dick? Naw, if it’s a girl you’re probably like you’re beautiful, baby. Come sit on my lap.”

The blush is basically radiating off Lance at this point as he screws up his mouth in annoyance. “At least my seduction plan isn’t all ‘come spread your legs and tell me you’ve wanted me for years!’”

“I had you wrapped around my little finger, Lance, right from the get go. We stopped because I’m not going to be some straight boy’s ‘snack-sized experiment.’ I wanted this to happen, but not if it means nothing to you.”

“Wait…,” says Lance, something occurring to him. “Do you like me?”

“I’m not here to stroke your ego, jerk. In fact, I’m not here to stroke anything anymore,” Keith huffs and settles down to look at the screen.

Lance forgot they’d been watching a movie. “You said you only get with guys you like and you also said you get shy around me. So you’re shy around me because you like me?”

“You don’t have to explain that to me,” says Keith. “I just told you those things.”

“Yeah, but the like part you said angry and the shy part you said all sexy so neither registered to my brain as information.”

“Okay stop explaining things to me,” says Keith. “It’s your turn to talk about feelings,” then he clarifies and adds, “your feelings for me.”

“So you’re Dashboard Lighting me?”

“What?” asks Keith, confused.

“Like I’m Meatloaf,” says Lance, “and you’re Ellen Foley and I can see Paradise, but you’re all ‘I gotta know right now.’”

“Yes, I do need to know right now,” interrupts Keith, clearly not getting Lance’s amazing pop culture reference. “So do you like me?”

“Nope,” whispers Lance, “Don’t - don’t do that... I like girls…”

“Night Lance,” says Keith and opens the door. But he doesn’t open it from the inside handle. No, he reaches through the open window and uses the outside handle. Because he’s cool like that. Keith is so fucking cool and he likes Lance and he wants to suck his dick because he’s cool and does cool shit when he likes someone and -

“I-I like boys!” Lance blurts out. “I like how they’re tall and grow beards and their arms -”

“You like that they have arms?” repeats Keith, closing the door again.

“Nice arms and - and Christian Lewis,” says Lance, throwing his arm out towards the movie screen, “he can get it.” Lance does the ‘ok’ symbol with one hand then thrusts his index finger through it for emphasis as he says, “He - can - get - it!”

Keith raises an eyebrow and tilts his head which makes Lance realize he’s really pounding with this gesture and also he hasn’t stopped. “Which hand are you in this scenario?” asks Keith, amused

Lance flutters his fingers away from each other in embarrassment. “And uh, you,” says Lance, clearing his throat and trying to move past that outburst. “You have… have arms.”

“I have arms?” repeats Keith.

“Nice ones,” says Lance sliding across to the ‘bitch seat’ so he’s right beside Keith again.

“What else is nice about me?” asks Keith.

“You’re uh, nice looking…” Fuck. That’s stupid. If Keith were a girl, Lance would have a line locked and loaded, but what could he say to Keith to win him over? He’s so cool…

“Nice looking, huh? Can I… get it?”

Suddenly Lance is nervous. Maybe if they’re actually into each other they should back this up, slow down, plan an actual date and - oh wait, no, Keith is back on his knees.

“Did I… say something… right?”

“Watch your movie, Lance,” teases Keith as he reaches up and knocks Lance’s 3D glasses from his head back down to his nose.

Oh right, a movie. A movie Lance has been dying to see. Has been dodging spoilers online for. Now recognizes this scene from the trailer where Head Ripper is hunting the now devirginated heroine through the abandoned amusement park. There’s a really cool shot coming up and -

Holy fuck Keith’s mouth is on Lance’s cock. Lips gently pushing back his foreskin. Keith is so soft, so sweet. Until he isn’t. Until he’s taking deep dives on his Lance’s cock. Slurping at it and popping off.

It’s got Lance searching for traction. He braces one hand on the ceiling of the car as he gasps, unable to keep quiet.

“Mmmm,” Keith responds. Lance can’t keep his eyes on the screen. He has to look down. Keith notices and tips up his chin, still stroking Lance’s cock with his hand he asks, “How do I look sucking your cock in 3D?” He then rubs the head along his bottom lip like he’s applying chapstick.

“Red and blue,” snickers Lance because these glasses don’t work on people.

“Does it... look bigger?” teases Keith then he runs that tongue piercing up the side of Lance’s cock.

It’s so hot and funny that Lance kinda laugh-moans his response. He catches Keith grin and look away like maybe Lance was too cute for him and it hits him in the heart. “Keith…,” mumbles Lance. “You’re so…”

“Lance!” It’s Hunk’s voice right beside him which is terrifying as fuck until lance remembers the open window. Which is terrifying as fuck because Hunk is standing in the window! Panicking, Lance grabs Keith’s hat off his head and covers his junk as Keith hits the floor.

“Ye - yeah,” stammers Lance, turning to the window. He’s surprised to see Hunk covering his eyes with his hands. Is he that horrified?

“Oh thank goodness,” says Hunk, “I’ve peaked into like twenty cars looking for the right one.”

“Are you walking around with your eyes covered?” asks Lance. Keith pokes his head up. Realizing he has an opening, he slides into the seat beside Lance.

“I don’t want to accidentally see more blood and faint,” explains Hunk. “It’s fine. I only fell over once. Anyhoo Shay is over at screen three watching that reboot of that sequel that’s based on a comic book based on a movie and she has room in her car so…”

“Yep. Good. Have fun. Text us when your movie’s done.”

“Enjoy making out,” adds Keith needlessly.

“Oh hey, is that Keith I hear? Hey Keith. And haha no we won’t be making out at the drive-in who does that?”

“Not me,” laughs Lance awkwardly as Hunk walks away and nearly walks into a fence. “Sharp right, buddy! Eh… he’ll figure it out.”

The moment Lance turns back to Keith, they’re on each other again making out.

No no no, plan this out! Roll up windows, lock doors… don’t put your hand between Keith’s legs and work up the nerve to touch -

The car door opens. They spring apart.

“I haven’t found anyone,” says Pidge, swinging inside. “But I heard a rumour there’s a couple girls making out behind the concession building so that might be our deviants. Now if I could figure out where Hunk went...”

“You should go look for him,” says Keith at the same time Lance says, “we just saw him. He’s with Shay.”

Keith turns and gives him the dirtiest look. Oops. Almost got rid of Pidge…

“That’s good,” says Pidge. “I was worried he’d hide in the bathroom the whole night. What’d I miss?”

Lance came out as bisexual then Keith sucked his cock.

“Oh um…,” stalls Lance, trying and failing to remember one single detail about the movie.

“They translated the inscription on the amulet which led them to…,” Keith rattles off the entire middle part of the movie from memory.

Meanwhile, Lance realizes he needs a better solution to his ‘situation’ than Keith’s hat sitting over his bare cock (that insists on staying hard despite all the recent jump scares. Damn these slasher movies for desensitizing him to fear and mixing it up with horniess!) He spots a discarded popcorn bag on the floor and lifts it onto his lap. There. At least that’s a normal object to have sitting on his lap and Lance can calm down.

Then Keith reaches over and drops his hand down into the bag.

“Um there’s not much left,” warns Lance because it’s mostly unpopped kernels and thin paper Keith’s hand and his dick..

“I like crunching on the kernels,” says Keith with a smirk. He gives Lance an unexpected squeeze then lifts a kernel out of the bag and pops it in his mouth.

What proceeds is another full minute of Lance failing to register what’s on screen because Keith is giving him a subtle hand job, one squeeze at a time.

Then Lance notices Pidge eyeing him suspiciously.

“You know what?” They say out of nowhere. “There’s a playground out front. I think I’ll go watch the movie from there.”

“Enjoy!” says Lance as Pidge gets out of the car.

“You too,” says Pidge, sarcastically.

Lance watches them crunch on the gravel towards the screen. When the coast is clear, Keith tries to jump him again. “Roll windows, lock doors,” Lance says, holding Keith back.

In unison they turn to the opposite doors, hit the window up switch then the lock switch.

Privacy… kinda...

The front windows are still open and Lance has no idea how to shut the sunroof but at least the angles are working in their favour as Keith pushes Lance onto his back across the seats and starts pulling down his pants.

Oh? Is this not just a resumed blowjob?

When his pants and underwear are down below his hips, Keith takes Lance’s cock in his hand and starts to bob on it again with his mouth.

“Fuck… you are so fucking awesome,” moans Lance.

“Roll to your side,” instructs Keith, guiding him. Lance isn’t sure where Keith is going with this since now his cock is facing away from Keith as he’s tucked on his side in the back driver’s side seat. At least he’s unsure until Keith’s leather clad hands start caressing his ass cheeks. “You have a really nice ass.”

“Thank you,” says Lance, elated. “No one ever compliments my butt even though I think it’s one of my top ten features...” Lance trails off as he feels Keith spread his asscheeks apart. Wait…

“Look at your cute little asshole,” hums Keith. Lance almost argues, ‘I can’t,’ but then Keith follows that up with, “I wanna taste it.”

Lance is pretty sure it’s his ass cheeks that blush this time.

“Can I?” asks Keith. Lance hadn’t realized he was waiting for an okay.

“Eat my ass? Uh yeah, if that’s what you want…” Lance is so fucking awkward.

He doesn’t stay embarrassed though, but mostly because when he feels that wet tongue press his to asshole, he forgets all his troubles immediately. Keith flutters his tongue in place then gives Lance a couple long lazy licks, his breath hitting the wet skin, mixing with the sensation of the tongue piercing dragging across Lance’s slicked up hole.

Lance whines and moans, tipping his knees down lower over the seat to angle his ass up higher.

“You were right,” says Keith, his breath a warm huff on Lance’s hole, “Your ass is attention starved.”

He rubs a finger across his hole and Lance finds himself pushing against it, willing Keith to push it inside, which he does. Lance moans into his arm as Keith continues fingering his asshole, only going first knuckle deep as his other hand kneads his ass flesh.

Fortunately, the movie gets really loud with the sounds of murder in that moment because Lance is having a hard time keeping it together. Especially when Keith parts Lance’s legs to tuck his cock and balls back where he can play with them while he fingers Lance with the other hand.

Suddenly both hands are removed. Lance peeks up at Keith to see him removing both his gloves. When he sees Lance looking, Keith dives down and captures Lance’s lips in a kiss. His hips press against Lance’s bare ass, he can feel his hardness through his jeans. Being wanted feels just as good as being treated like this. Lance has never been taken care of so thoroughly.

He thinks this as Keith retreats back and bends to lick across his asshole again. His finger finds his hole once more, pressing in deeper, no glove to stop him now. Keith jerks off Lance with his other hand, letting his foreskin ease the motion before taking a break to dance his fingers down to his balls.

Lance presses his mouth firmly into his arm. He’s going to make too much noise if he’s not careful and the sunroof is still open. He really should’ve taken thirty seconds to figure out how to shut it and the front windows…

When that second finger joins the first though, Lance really can’t stop the groan that escapes him, even muffed by his arm the “yesssss” is still audible.

The situation for Lance has gone from ‘this is really nice’ to ‘I’m going to cum.’

“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” moans Lance.

“Look at you,” muses Keith and just those words give Lance a rush of embarrassment. “You really know your spot, don’t you?”

It takes Lance a moment to work out what his body is doing, how he’s tilting and thrusting his own hips to meet Keith’s fingers so they press just right where it feels so fucking good.

“Get yourself there, baby, do it,” urges Keith.

A wall of heat hits Lance. It’s too much, it’s too much.

He contracts away from it, scared of the power, but Keith pushes his fingers in deeper. Lance groans and swears and drools onto his arm, onto the leather seat as he’s milked by Keith’s other hand, drawing out the cum, making Lance shudder.

Keith’s finger thrusts turn into slow, gentle explorations of his fingers as Lance comes down, heart pounding against the seat.

Keith leans down and kisses the back of Lance’s sweaty neck, his cheek. His hardness pressed firm against his bare ass. “Ready for something bigger?” he whispers.

Lance’s brain is a little bit slow on the uptake.

Bigger like… go all the way?

“Yeah,” says Lance, twisting around so he can kiss Keith properly.

He follows Keith’s lips as he sits up and moves to get on Keith’s lap, but finds his half-pulled down pants means he can only get over one leg. He’s kind of aware that he must be rubbing cum on Keith’s jeans, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Just keeps massaging Lance’s ass, encouraging him to grind against him.

“I don’t think we have a lot of runtime left,” says Lance.

“Then I better fuck you quickly,” says Keith. He goes into his jacket pocket and pulls out something that doesn’t register with Lance because something else just caught his attention.

“I’m gonna fuck you,” says Lance, being clear. “So we should stretch you out.”

Keith laughs. When Lance stares, Keith says, “You’re a bottom.”

“I am not!” gasps Lance, offended. “You’re my first guy, how could I be?”

“Lance… c’mon…”

“No, you c’mon! I don’t know what I’m doing here, I should get to top.”

“That is not a vote of confidence.”

Flustered, Lance blurts out, “You know what I mean!” He’s so annoyed he slides off Keith’s lap and sits bare assed on the leather seats.

“The way you moved against my fingers,” says Keith, locking eyes with Lance. “You’ve fingered yourself before…”

“No,” says Lance, stubbornly as he crosses his arms across his chest.

“Maybe do it on the regular… maybe wanted to get a dildo, but were too afraid to be seen buying one so you used something… improvised.” The image of a hairbrush handle flashes inside Lance’s head.

“Stop it,” says Lance, pointing a finger in Keith’s face. “Stop using your gay mindreading powers on me! And what’s…” Lance realizes he’s sitting on something. He shifts and finds a single use tube of lube and a condom. “Wait…”

He spins on Keith and points the lube at him. “You said you only have sex with guys you like, but you just carry this around? That’s a slutty move, Keith.”

Keith twists up his mouth. Now he’s the one who’s caught.

“Do you even actually like me?!”

“Now who’s Ellen Foley?” teases Keith.

“Wha - ?”

“Do you need me?”

“I - “

“Will you never leave me?” continues Keith then he goes from talking to singing, “Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life? Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?”


“So you did get my Meatloaf reference earlier!” snaps Lance.

“Lance needs to know right now… before we go any further. Do you - ”

Lance cuts Keith’s singing off by kissing him. Ugh. He can’t help it. Keith’s voice is so nice and he knows all the words to Paradise by the Dashboard Light, which to be fair, is a very well known song that most people probably know the words to, but who cares because Lance is going to ride his dick.

Lance pulls back from the kiss and says, “Figure out how to shut that sunroof. I’m going to get the front windows.”

Lance dives forward, his whole top half reaching into the front to hit the window switches and the locks. He can feel Keith’s hardness press to his ass, but only because he’s getting the sunroof closed above them.

“Turn up the volume,” instructs Keith.

Lance is certain he’s already got the movie at max volume on the radio but a turn of the dial proves otherwise as the subwoofers in this car buzz underneath them.

“Allura was holding out on me,” mutters Lance.

Just then he’s pulled back by the waist by Keith. Pulled right into his lap and held there. “I like you,” says Keith, into his ear. “I did tell you that already. You just seem to like to freak out over nothing.”

“Freak out over nothing?!” gasps Lance. Then he says, “Know what? Nevermind.” He slips off Keith’s lap and down onto his knees, twisting around. Keith’s cock is still encaged in his jeans and that’s so unfair because Lance has been out forever.

He takes Keith out himself, amazed by how excited he is to see another guy’s dick. Okay yeah… he was definitely kidding himself about being straight. But then when it’s out and he gets a good look at it, Lance just has to stare.

“What?” asks Keith, seeming nervous all of a sudden.

“Your cock is pierced,” says Lance, staring dead at the stud sitting vertical through the ridge of Keith’s penis’s head.


“You’re so cool…” Lance takes Keith’s cock in his hand and licks it, licks all the way up his length. He likes it. Likes the mix of flexibility and resistance he gets. Likes how it’s strong and hard, but ready and eager to work with him.

“... We only…,” moans Keith, already worked up. “...have about ten minutes left…”

But Lance doesn’t want to stop, wants to feel that stud drag across his tongue as he takes Keith into his mouth.

“Whoa,” says Keith, tugging at Lance. “C’mon, I have been so turned on for so long. You’re going to make me cum and you don’t understand how badly I need to fuck that ass of yours.”

Heat back in Lance’s cheeks. Both sets. While he’s busy combusting, Keith gets ready with the condom and snaps off the tab on the lube.

There’s a THUNK and a SCREAM that shake the car. More murder that Lance has stopped paying attention to because things got way more interesting inside the car.


Lance peeks over his shoulder at the screen. Looks like a security guard just bit the dust. Meanwhile ‘the final girl’ is running for it, covered in his blood, the only place to take shelter an abandoned mannequin factory. Which, to be fair, is kinda like the abandoned doll factory from the first Head Ripper movie. They’re maybe repeating ideas at this point.

“Come sit on my lap,” hums Keith. Lance starts. How did he forget he’s about to get fucked?

Lance does as he’s told. He uses the backs of the front seats as leverage as he lowers himself back. Keith puts a hand on his back to hold him steady. “I got you.”

Lance can feel him lining up, that pressure pressing against his hole, tingling with pleasure.

“Push back and take as much as you can,” directs Keith.

So he eases him, feeling it stretch out, just a bit uncomfortable but… Lance has experimented with this before. It isn’t long before he feels comfortable enough to sit all the back on Keith’s lap.

“Holy shit,” groans Keith.

“You like that?” breathes Lance.

“You’re so tight and your ass from this angle…”

Lance’s ego shoots through the roof. He feels confident now. Confident he can move. All that lube making it slide so nice. Having a dick in his ass is just the best thing ever. No substitutes can top it.

He holds onto the backs of the seats and bounces back onto Keith’s dick. After a few bounces he gets too enthusiastic and Keith slips out.

“Here,” says Keith, helping Lance guide himself back onto his cock. “You can go quick, just don’t go so far.” As he says this, he twists the back of Lance’s t-shirt in his hand. Now when Lance rocks forward he feels that tug to guide him back. He likes that little loss of control. The push and pull they get going. It gets Lance moaning.

“Wait,” says Keith and Lance pauses, ass full of cock. He doesn’t get what he’s waiting for and then Keith slips a pair of those 3D glasses (long since forgotten) back over his eyes and whispers, “Watch your movie, Lance.”

Seems ridiculous to focus on anything but the cock stretching him out, but Lance wants to be good. Puts his eyes on the screen to see ‘the final girl’ get cornered by Head Ripper. It’s 3D, it’s worth his attention.

“Ohhhff,” moans Lance as he hits just the right spot when he bounces back on Keith’s cock this time.

“Don’t get too loud baby,” warns Keith.

Was that loud?

“Ah fuuuuck,” groans Lance.

Yeah, okay he’s being loud.

“I told you…,” scolds Keith, pulling him right to his lap. One arm around the waist. The other hand finds his face, fingers are pushed inside his mouth.

Lance moans around the fingers as Keith uses his hold on him to bounce him on his cock. He drools and sucks on those fingers, loving the feeling of his mouth being stuffed full while his ass is stuffed the same.

“Fuck me - fuck me - fuck me,” Lance begs, but it’s muffled by the fingers in his mouth. Keith’s moans aren’t as loud, he has some self control, but they’re right in Lance’s ear and they’re making him crazy.

“Get down for me, baby,” says Keith, guiding him forward until Lance finds himself on his knees, top half propped over the console. Ass cheeks spead open as Keith crouches behind him and enters him again.

Now Keith has full control over the motion, fucking into him. Lance knows he can’t be trusted to stay quiet enough not to be heard outside the car so he bites down on the sleeve of hislong sleeved tee.

Keith is mumbling something but it’s hard to make out this close to the front speaker with the movie blasting and the subwoofers vibrating through Lance’s body. So many screams, but it sounds like Keith is maybe saying something like “so… fucking… good… yes… that’s your dick… work your dick, baby...”

It’s so exciting with Keith’s hand firm on his back, feeling him get so rough, talking dirty the whole time.

Lance’s vision goes white as he cums because it hits so hard. Keith feels all the more bigger inside Lance in that moment but he’s probably clenching and that’s why. Still, it’s so good and Keith doesn’t stop.

“Fuck me,” this time it escapes Lance’s mouth, wet sleeve a forgotten chew toy.

It revs Keith up until he’s moaning louder than Lance was even. Then he’s slowing his fuck down until he’s rolling his hips. It’s thrilling thinking about all that cum he’s milking from Keith. He’s coming so fucking hard in his ass.

Lance did that to him. It’s so fucking hot.

When he’s done, Keith’s hips stutter a final time then pulls Lance back with him until he’s sitting back on his lap, dick softening inside him. Keith’s lips track kisses over his neck, tugging at his collar back to find more skin.

“Think anyone knew we were fucking?” asks Lance. He’s sweating like crazy. It’s so damn humid inside this car.

Keith laughs and doesn’t answer the question. With some prodding from Lance he says, “Can’t do anything about it now. I see credits. Get your pants up.”

Keith has wipes in his jacket which is also very slutty, but everytime Lance brings it up, Keith just smiles. There is cum in places Lance didn’t expect and he feels like a shitty friend doing this in Allura’s car. Maybe he needs to offer to clean it properly? Without… saying why.

“I can’t believe I missed the whole movie,” says Lance, looking at the credits.

“It’s okay,” says Keith. “I’ll take you to see it tomorrow night. Maybe not at the drive-in though… we’ll probably just have sex again.”

“Bold of you to assume I won’t go down on you in a theatre, Alanis-style.”

Keith smirks. “Illegal stream on my laptop in my bedroom?”

“Yeah, cause no one ever has sex in a bedroom, Keith!”

Keith slides up next to Lance, slipping an arm around his waist, finding another pair of those paper glasses and sticking them back on his face. “Sex before and after then. It’s either that or you watch the movie alone.”

“But if I come over… is that a date?” asks Lance.

“I told you I like you!” says Keith, getting defensive. “You’re the one with the short attention span.”

“I’m just checking,” says Lance. “I read things wrong sometimes… a lot. Like I didn’t know I gave you sex eyes.”

“You say that like you’re not doing it right now,” hums Keith, leaning in to kiss Lance.

That’s fair. Lance wants more. Already.

BEEP BEEP, the interior car lights flash as the car is unlocked from the outside. Keith and Lance pull apart as both front doors open.

“Oh, it’s so humid in here,” says Allura, dropping down into the driver’s seat. “You should’ve turned on the air.” She flips it on. The air starts blowing from the console at the back. It is sweet relief for Lance’s sweaty self.

“Ow,” cries Romelle. She’s trying to get back in her front passenger seat, but Pidge tugs her right back out.

“I’m sitting here,” says Pidge, dropping into the seat. “You take the back.” Pidge shoots Lance a look like they know EXACTLY what Keith and Lance just did back there. Lance gulps..

Romelle opens up the passenger side door and drops into the seat, causing Keith to shuffle over. “You’re not Hunk,” she says, surprised.

“Yeah, I gotta go,” says Keith, twisting and climbing across Lance’s lap to get to the other door.

It is a herculean feat, Lance resisting smacking Keith’s ass on his way out. He is wholly regretting not giving it an ounce of attention the whole time they were hooking up.

Lance almost has gotten away with the perfect secret sex romp when Keith leans back into the car, grabs his lost hat, says, “message me on facebook” then pulls Lance by the front of his shirt into a kiss.

“Whoa!” says Romelle.

“What? What’s happening?” asks Allura, twisting in the driver’s seat, but not getting a good angle to look back before Keith is gone.

“Lance kissed Keith,” exclaims Romelle.

“He also fucked him in your car, if we’re being open about that,” says Pidge.

“He what?!” roars Allura, spinning back around in her seat.

“You don’t know that!” blurts out Lance rather than just, ya know, denying it...

“Lance, the car was physically rocking! I could see it from the swingset. And because that car was rocking, I did not come a knocking.”

“You little slut,” hisses Allura. “At the drive-in?”

“Oh, so that wasn’t you and Romelle hooking up behind the concession stand?” asks Pidge, shit-eating grin spreading across their face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” says Allura, turning to face front. Romelle becomes interested in her window all of a sudden.

“So if I smelt your fingers right now?”

“That’s disgusting,” says Allura at the same time Romelle says, “We washed our hands.”

“Oh yeah, I’m the pervert,” says Pidge. “I'm the most innocent one here!”

“Hey-o,” says Hunk, slipping into the car through the door Keith left open. Lance slides over to the middle. “I’ve got news! Shay and I held hands! And I know, I know what you’re thinking. Her parents were in the front seat, but we were being sneaky. I swear. We didn’t make them feel uncomfortable. Do you think we made them uncomfortable? Oh no, guys! Did we make her parents uncomfortable? We did, didn’t we? That’s why you’re all being so quiet!”

“I take it back,” says Pidge, cocking a thumb in Hunk’s direction. “No one could ever be as innocent as that.”

“Yes, well...,” begins Allura, shifting the car into reverse so the back camera turns on. “I’m glad we all enjoyed that movie...Whatever it was about... Head... something.” The car beeps to let Allura know there’s a car passing behind her. On the screen Lance sees the convertible pass by them. He can hear their music blasting even inside the sealed car.

‘And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
C'mon hold on tight
Oh c'mon hold on tight
Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night
I can see paradise by the dashboard light’

“Oh, I like this song,” says Hunk.

“Everyone likes that song,” says Pidge.

“But does everyone know the words?” asks Lance.

“Yes!!” says everyone at once.