Disclaimer: Blue Exorcist does not belong to me.
Note: This is a guy/guy, or yaoi fic.
Rated: T(just to be on the safe side)
Summery: Renzou's been having dreams about Rin, but is that all they will ever be?
Over the past few months, Renzou noticed that his heart would flutter every time that a certain someone was around. The fluttering and the uncontrollable blushing had been a confusing matter. Until he had that very first dream.
It had been so incredibly erotic and amazing that Renzou had woken up in the middle of the night, crying out with pleasure. It was shocking and it would have been completely embarrassing if anyone had heard him. Luckily, no one had been woken up by his cries. Renzou was also pretty sure that he had groaned out a certain name more than once during the dream. It hadn' t even felt like a dream. Everything had felt so real. Every touch, every kiss, every murmured word, had seemed like reality. The empty bed had shown him that what had seemed like reality had just been a dream.
After that day, he hadn't been able to sleep through the nights. A dream, just as intense as lifelike as that first one, would wake him up. When three a.m. came around, Renzou would sit straight up on his bed. His body would be all sweaty, and with a gasp, groan, moan, or any other noise associated with pleasure, would be coming out of his mouth. After that, he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. The dream would stick with him, playing over and over through his mind, never stopping until he had to get up to get ready for his classes.
He was lucky, lucky because during those classes, he could sleep and not have to worry about making any weird noises. That first day, he hadn't been sure if he would open his eyes to see a room full of wide-eyed teenagers and one flustered teacher staring at him. But it hadn't happened, and that was a huge relief. If Renzou didn't get his sleep, he was pretty sure that he'd have huge black bags under his eyes and everyone would notice that and comment on it.
Just then, Renzou felt his heart squeeze painfully as he secretly watched Rin flirting with Bon. It hurt, it hurt like hell. He never thought that he would ever feel this way about anyone. Not ever did such a thought even cross his mind.
Not until Rin. Rin was amazing, he didn't like to rely on others, instead he wanted to be the one to protect everyone. Renzou had taken to him since the first day they met. That feeling had slowly grown over time to the monster in his chest. He couldn't let that feeling show though. So he fell back on his act.
It wasn't that he liked acting like an idiot and a player, it was just his protection, his armor, because he really couldn't let others know his real feelings and personality. Renzou had been acting like an idiot for so long that if he even said something different, people would think he had been possessed or something. Besides, Rin probably wouldn't believe him even if he told him face to face that he liked him. It didn't help that Renzou was already too late. Late because Rin already had someone who he loved, someone who was a lot better than he could ever be.
"We'll see you guys later!" Rin yelled out with a wave as he dragged Bon away from Konekomaru and Renzou.
Renzou turned his head, but he couldn't help but watch the raven haired teen walk away from the corner of his eye.
That was his life now, and he would never get the chance at the forbidden fruit. Renzou had lost, lost before he got the chance to even try.
"What's the matter, Shima?" Konekomaru asked from his right, he had noticed the look in Renzou's eyes for a split second.
Renzou shot him a grin, hiding his true emotions in the blink of an eye. "I was just looking at that chicks ass, did you see it?! And her boobs! She's a perfect ten! I'm in love! Do you think she'll give me her number?"
Konekomaru blinked in surprise, not expecting that at all. "Umm, I didn't see it but you can go ask you, you never know."
Renzou turned away and headed towards a random girl in the direction he'd indicated, not really wanting her number at all, and wasn't even going to open his mouth to talk to her. He only did that when his friends were close enough to notice if he opened his mouth or not. But he needed to keep up his act, his wall. Otherwise he'd break under it all. He had to keep his mask up. He just had to.
Maybe... maybe if he'd figured out his feelings earlier, things would have been different. But now, he couldn't even change a thing. The only Rin he would ever be able to have, was the Rin in his dreams.
A/N: Thank you for reading! Don't be afraid to let me know what you think!