Sex with Eddie is not at all what he had thought it would be.
Oh, how he had thought about it. Dedicated himself to the idea of it. Prepared himself for every possible whispered desire and heated urging that may be moaned against his skin.
It’s not as if he lacks a frame of reference.
He has over a decade of experience to pull from. A long series of trysts that left him satisfied in the moment and empty just as quickly. He knows what feels good, knows what makes others feel good and how to make the most out of a stolen moment. He is an experience, a fond memory to recall in duller times.
He thought he was more to Abby. Could have been more had she let him. He’s been wrong before.
So when things finally - finally - align with Eddie he’s ready. He’s going to make him feel good, so good he forgets that anyone else is an option. Because unlike all those other trysts there is love first. Sex is a bonus, not the goal.
Because unlike with Abby they are already a family. Sex is not the method to prove his worth.
He doesn’t expect to do his best work right away. It has been a while for him and even longer for Eddie. But they love each other, right? So it’s bound to be better than what came before it.
He loved Shannon, his mind likes to remind him. Do you really think you can compare to her?
Eddie Diaz attacks everything with intense precision and Buck had no doubt that he would bring the exact same energy to the bedroom.
He didn’t expect him to be such an absolute goober.
“Stop laughing,” Buck scoffs, rolling his eyes at the way Eddie absolutely giggles as his fingers feather over Eddie’s sides. He knows Eddie is ticklish, but he’s going for a certain atmosphere here.
“Sorry, sorry, please carry on,” Eddie smiles, blinking down at him through long lashes. His skin is flush, sprawled out languidly beneath him. No matter how many times they have done this, no matter how many times he has Eddie laid out bare he can’t help but be mesmerized by their differences. Can’t help but trace, kiss, lick and nip his way down lean lines and hard ridges. To slide his tongue along the sharp V of his hips before marking his claim on his skin.
If only his boyfriend wasn’t the most ticklish bastard on the goddamn planet.
“I’m sorry,” Eddie wheezes, curling in on Buck’s hand. Buck huffs, but he’s not really mad. Not when Eddie is smiling and relaxed, looking up at him with a look that still manages to catch his breath, even now.
“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” And he is. Completely fucking ridiculous. Like the way he wants to chat about Buck’s day when he’s going down on him. Like a goddamn dentist asking questions when he knows Buck’s mouth is otherwise occupied. Or the way he snickers like a thirteen year old boy every. single. time. the slide of skin and lube hits just right and it sounds more like passing gas than love making.
The absolute goober.
Sex with Eddie is as hot as it is silly; as tender as it is toe curling. He hadn’t known to expect it. This is the one place where Eddie never seems to take himself seriously; where he can laugh at himself. Things that would have kept Buck up at 2:00 a.m. in embarrassment Eddie simply embraces and Buck learns to laugh along with him.
With Abby it felt like he was proving himself, even if it had felt good to be the hot young thing. There is none of that now.
Eddie likes to take his time, even when they’re racing the clock. Always makes sure he’s okay, that the position isn’t too straining on his leg even when they’re going for quick and dirty. He lavishes attention and praise over every square inch of his body; tracing his tattoos with fondness and his scars with reverence.
He doesn’t feel used with Eddie. He feels worshiped.
Which is why he wants to return the favor.
The thing is, Eddie doesn’t want any of his old tricks. Oh, he’s certainly not opposed to them, but that’s not what makes him melt.
No, the trick to Eddie is touch. An overwhelming onslaught of skin, lips and tongue. Doesn’t matter if he’s doing the touching or the one being touched.
Where Buck had spent too many years seeking out touch from anyone who would offer, Eddie had gone without. Now he craves it like air. Curls and twists in his sleep for maximum contact. As if even now he’s still surprised someone wants to touch him, as if he’s not Adonis come to life.
Buck is all too happy to oblige him.
Buck might be addicted to the way Eddie shivers as he kisses his way down Eddie’s spine, tongue darting out to taste little beads of sweat on his skin. Then there is the way he arches his hips as he teases his tongue around his nipple, pulling gently at the pink flesh. Oh, but he can’t forget the twitch of Eddie’s thighs as he nips at the flesh, soft hairs tickling his cheek.
But his favorite, his absolute favorite, is the content sigh Eddie releases when they’re both spent, one thigh tucked firmly between his legs, the other hooked around his hips as Eddie wraps his arms around him like some sort of koala.
A ridiculous image for someone like Eddie, yet somehow in the private stillness of their room it fits. No one would believe him. No one else needs to know. This is his and he’s not inclined to share.
“I love you,” Eddie says softly, his smile lazy and at odds with the rapid beat of his heart.
“I love you,” Buck promises, capturing Eddie’s lips with his own. I love you he promises with each kiss, with each press of his skin. He seals it into his skin, as if one day they will fuse together and Eddie will finally believe he isn’t going to leave. Then, just because, he brings his fingers to tickle Eddie’s sides, laughing loudly as Eddie flips them over to evade his grasp.
“This means war,” Eddie warns, all smiles as he rolls his hips against Buck’s.
“I can take you.”
“Give me all you got.” Buck laughs as Eddie blows raspberries against the side of his neck.
Sex with Eddie is nothing like he expected, but he wouldn’t trade it for the world.