Kissing. It was something that I never thought I would do. After my last confession, I was ready to just give up on love. That is, until I met you. Touko. You confessed to me the same day I met you and kissed me a few days later. It was shocking, to say the least, and a little overwhelming. Still, our relationship was special. Even if it started weird, I wanted it to succeed. Kiss by kiss, I wanted to be closer to you.
Trail of Kisses
While my mind was distracted with thoughts of you, I ran into your back when you stopped. Your body was soft, even though it was shocking to bump into it so suddenly. I was confused and when I looked up to talk with you, I found you moving down to my face.
I honestly didn’t even really feel it that much. The suddenness of it all, the shock of realization… everything just kind of made it into a weird situation. When you pulled back from me, I could tell my lips were wet. There was a lingering taste of flavored lip balm and saliva mixing with the words spoken to me. “I want to do this kind of thing with you…” The words left me stunned until we started walking again. Falling in step behind you, my mind raced. Not with feelings of butterflies and joy, but with feelings of worry.
I didn’t really care that my first kiss was taken from me. I didn’t care if I was kissed in public either. I didn’t even mind that it was a girl who kissed me. My worry was the fact that I didn’t feel anything. I was just kissed. The thought was the same as wondering what was for dinner tonight, or if it would rain tomorrow or not. Was I messed up? Broken? Shouldn’t I be mad? Shouldn’t I yell at you for doing that without any warning or permission?
I just… didn’t care.
Again. Looking up at you in the student council room with the sun streaming in from the windows. The shadows of the leaves from the trees danced along your face as you pressured me. It was too sudden, and I was a little annoyed by it. “You said you were content,” I protested. “And you want to kiss me again.”
The way you leaned forward and pouted was actually pretty cute. “Of course, I want more! You always forgive me for being selfish so… so I want to push it! I want to see how far I can get… I want to… satisfy my desires… And you’re the only one I can be with…” Are you about to cry? I can see the tears in your eyes, Senpai.
“Honest, aren’t we?” The words left my lips a little more harshly than I had intended. The way you reeled back was like a slap to my face. “No! No, I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I’m… not sure how to kiss so…”
“Would it… be okay?” Looking back up at you, I felt blood rushing to my cheeks. “Can I… kiss you, Yuu?”
When had you started calling me by my first name? I could somehow recall hearing it before, but when people were around, it feels like you always called me by my family name… Are you protecting me, Senpai? From others knowing I’m kissing a girl? “I… am honestly interested,” I spoke softly. It was true. I wanted to know if I was broken, if I could love or not. “About kissing, I mean… I think I might… want to kiss as well.”
“Even though I’m forcing myself on you?” Your words were getting husky, eyes closing halfway while leaning into me. “That’s such a turn on...” Before I could reply I felt your lips on mine. Again, I was stunned. This time I felt the warmth radiating from your cheeks and the slightly sticky feeling of your lips touching me. It lasted longer this time, and I was able to slowly reach up to hold onto your sleeve. When we parted, I was a little dizzy from the rush and almost missed the words spoken to me. “Once more?”
“Yeah…” My voice came without even realizing it. My neck tilted and I pulled on you a little to bring you back down. Warm. Soft. Wet. Kissing was enjoyable, and it made me feel good. My heart was beating faster and my breathing picked up. This one ended with a third quickly taking its place. The sounds were loud, almost smacking like chewing gum with your mouth open. Sometimes you pushed onto me and others I felt myself leaning up towards you as well. Back and forth, kiss after kiss, until we were both needed air too much to continue.
“That… was amazing,” Your words fluttered over me, kisses dotting my forehead and hair. “Oh, Yuu… I really think I’ve fallen in love with you.”
Holding your sleeve, I just nodded in acceptance. I already agreed to let you love me, and I wasn’t going to break that promise. Even though I didn’t feel any different, I was still curious about this. A relationship where I could learn to love… where I could kiss you and try to understand everything… I wanted it too. “Thank you,” I answered your confession. My arm slid over your body and accepted the hug. Being cradled against you, feeling your hand stroking my hair… I could certainly come to like this.
Being able to study with you was such a help. I knew you were smart but seeing it firsthand was something else. Sitting next to me and casually answering the questions that stumped me while you studied for your own tests… just wow. My senpai is so cool!
You caught me staring and I got that gentle look of yours. The way your blue eyes softened and shoulders dropped just a little as if you were relaxed… I liked it. Things like this were normal, though. It wasn’t the love I was looking for. When someone close to you felt at ease with you next to them, anyone would feel good.
As the days passed for us, we spent more and more time together. I even caught you turning down your friends so you could spend time with me. Having a friend choose me over having fun with others was a good feeling, and I appreciated it. Despite your efforts, the library was mostly full today. We could probably ask some people to move around for us, but I would miss the intimate atmosphere we had. Just once glance at you made me realize you were thinking the same thing. “Hey?” Our usual split off point wasn’t extremely far from my house now that I think about it. “Want to do it at my place instead of studying here?”
“Y-Yuu!?” I never thought I’d see you look so embarrassed that even your ears turned red, but it was really cute. “D-doing it at your place… that’s… how to say… erotic?”
“… I meant studying.”
“Oh!” I watched you suddenly try to wave it off. “I knew that! What were you thinking? You perv!”
Nice try, Senpai. At least now I knew that you had naughty thoughts about me. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that, honestly. Part of me was excited and curious to ask more, but the more reasonable part was telling me to roll my eyes and pull you along. In the end, reason won out and I took your arm to guide you away from the school.
“I’m nervous,” the words confused me a little bit.
“Why? You’ve been here before.” I paused just a moment before we actually made it inside my bookstore.
“But now it's like… ‘Sorry for seducing your daughter’… you know?”
I struggled to resist the urge to groan. “You haven’t seduced me. It's not like you’ve gone under my uniform or anything.” Instead of letting you answer, I called out our arrival. “I’m home!”
Up to my room, a slice of cheesecake with lemonade, studying for a few hours, and finally sitting next to each other beside my bed. “Thank you for inviting me over, Yuu.” Your voice made me smile and soon I felt an arm over my shoulders. When I looked, you were already averting your gaze, cheeks red.
“Is this where you seduce me?” I asked curiously. You were so much fun to tease, Touko. When no reply came, I pressed my advantage. “Guess my uniform stays on yet again.”
“So, if I were going to…” Your voice was cautious. “Would it be okay to go under your uniform?”
“Huh?” I froze at those words. I saw that you took your time moving, giving me ample time to stop you, but I couldn’t bring myself to lift my arms. I felt the weight of you straddling my legs and my head fell back onto my bed to look up into your eyes. “Sen…pai?”
“Stop me if you don’t want it, okay?” I knew that look; I’ve seen it a few times now. I was about to be kissed. Fingertips trailed up my neck and slid into my hair, removing my twintails in the process. Warm breath danced on my lips and I opened my mouth to it almost at once. Soft kisses came slowly, each one pausing just enough for us to breathe between them. “…Yuu…”
Everything was starting to fade out around me. I could only focus on our kissing and how it was making me feel. Your hair was spilling over my body, lips constantly pressing on mine. The yellow ribbon around my neck fell to your fingers, and soon my jumper suddenly drooped. Somewhere in my mind, I was aware of you unclipping it and pulling the zipper down, but a fleck of tongue against my lips brought my attention back to the kissing.
Your hand was so warm against me skin, almost sweating even. You only left it on my hip, rubbing soothingly under my shirt in a small up and down motion while we made out with each other. I wasn’t sure how long we stayed like that, but when we finally parted, I felt more than a little hot and bothered. I was definitely going to have to change panties before bed tonight…
“So,” your voice was a little prideful. “Since I am under your uniform… does that mean I’ve seduced you now?”
“…Hehehe.” I shook my head with a small chuckle. “Okay, you win, Senpai. You’ve officially seduced me.” I normally didn’t flirt with you like this, but tonight I felt like I wanted to. I was about to close my eyes again when you leaned forward, but the sounds of the wooden staircase being taken made me suddenly nervous. “That’s probably my sister, hop off!”
You did as requested, quickly moving and shifting over to sit next to me. Rei opened my door cheerfully, smiling down at me. “Yuu, I’m going to be going to Hiro’s place tonight so…” She tilted her head.
I coughed. “So… so what?” I felt suddenly nervous and my voice cracked. My sister’s eyes went to my side and I realized that my uniform was still undone, ribbon loose around my neck, and hair messed up. “Rei-chan, get out if you don’t need anything!”
Grinning, she slowly closed my door, keeping her eyes on me the entire time. “Hope you had fun with your… friend.” Before I could say anything, the door closed.
You were dark red and I was sure I matched. “Do you think she…?”
I groaned softly. “Oh, she knows…”
Stress was something that seemed to follow me around now that our sports festival was coming up. While everyone else got to play around with extra time off to prepare, the student council was running around with paperwork and chores. Every time I stepped outside a classroom or the Stuco building, I was called to at least once before I reached my destination.
Right now, I was working with Saeki-senpai on decorating the school grounds. I wanted to try and impress her, as it seemed that she didn’t care for me too much. I didn’t like the feeling of not being liked, so I was pushing myself extra hard to make a good impression...
And that was where I honestly got mad at you for the first time.
When you appeared before me at the storage building, I thought our meeting would be fast but you stepped closer to me and closed the door behind yourself. “Senpai, I really need to-” My words went right around you as you pushed me against the back wall of the building. “I don’t have time right now, Saeki-senpai is waiting on me.”
“Just for a moment?” You looked so happy to be there with me right now. “I only want to get my Yuutrients for the day.” To my surprise, I was hugged. Sighing out, I gave in and hugged you back. The pun you just made was good enough for that at least. It was noticeable how much you livened up from the simple embrace and I felt rather proud of that. “Yuu... May I?”
My chin was tilted up by your finger. I wasn’t in the mood, but if a hug helped you out that much, then I suppose I could deal with a kiss as well. “Fine...” It was hot in the small building, almost like an oven baking in the heat of the summer sun. Sweat was on both our faces, tinting the kiss with the taste of salt. Still, you pressed on, body moving against me.
I felt your leg between mine, my uniform rubbing against my skin as you closed all distance between us. You were so much taller than me that I felt lifted up a bit between my legs where I was against your thigh... or maybe that was intentional on your part? “Mmmnnff....” I wanted to pull back and breath, but you only held me closer. Papers clattered to the floor and hands encircled my waist. Flicks of your tongue came again against my lips and I couldn’t take it anymore.
I wiggled my arm up between us and managed to pull back enough to place my hand over your mouth and push you back. “Geeze! Enough is enough! I can’t breathe!”
“Aw, come on...” I felt your breath against my palm and I went to retract, but you reached up to hold my hand with both of yours. Small kisses dotted my palm before you spoke against my fingers. “It's been so long... It made me really happy to be with you again.”
“But I’m busy, Saeki-senpai is waiting and-”
“It's okay, three minutes won’t make or break us...” When you moved forward again, I actually got really angry.
“Senpai, no!” I pulled my hand back and darted around you so I could stand between you and the door. “Keep your hands to yourself, I need to get back to work.”
“Wait!” Against my better judgement, I paused. “I’ll... I’ll be good, so... Once all of this is over, could we be together?”
Seriously, Touko? “You want a reward for not molesting me while we’re at school? Isn’t that the basics of ‘a time and place for these kind of things’, as the expression goes?”
“I just really miss you, and it's hard to keep to myself-”
“It's hard to keep up with all the work as well! My senpai seems to hate me and I want to impress her, but you’re pulling on me and demanding physical contact! Can’t you tell I’m not in the mood? That I want to get out of this place before I suffocate in here!?” Perhaps I was going overboard, but the way my uniform was drenched in sweat at this point didn’t help any. “Forget a reward, I should slap you, miss student council president!”
I knew I had gone too far, but I couldn’t back down now. The way you looked to the side really hurt my heart as well. “You’re right... I’m sorry, Yuu.” Facing me again, I could tell you were forcing the calm look on your face. “I’ll do better... At both being the president as well as taking care of you properly.” Kneeling, you picked up your papers and handed me the banner that I had originally come to get as well, something I dropped when moving away from you. “Here. Tell Sayaka I’m sorry for keeping you. Do your best, Yuu.”
I couldn't say anything. Accepting the banner, I just turned and left the room. Even the blazing hot outside felt like a breath of blissful relief from the sweltering heat of the storage room. As I ran, the breeze made me feel infinitely better, even if my mind was still troubled.
You did keep your promise though. Every moment I saw you from then on out, you were working hard. I even heard classmates say how much easier this year was going thanks to your dedication. I felt proud, actually. Although this status was never officially made known or spoken, I felt proud of my girlfriend. Because that’s what we were, right? Girlfriends?
I feel like I understand what you had said back then. A reward for working hard. You weren’t demanding things or being pushy with me, you just wanted encouragement. I had walked away from you, leaving you with a negative impact instead of the positive feelings you had requested... Looking back, that’s all you really wanted... And I felt so bad about it.
“Senpai,” I called to you for the first time in three days, ever since our ‘argument’ in the storage shed. The entire student council was around, as well as teachers, so I had to choose my words carefully. “I need to go over a few things with you still, so can we walk home together?” Your eyes lit up and I knew at once that you understood what I meant.
Once we were alone on the way to our normal split-off point, I finally felt like I was able to say what I wanted. “I’m sorry, Senpai.”
You always were too kind when it came to me. “You know what. When we were struggling with preparing everything, you needed my support for a few minutes, but I denied you... I should have... taken better care of my girlfriend.”
“W-well we are, aren’t we? I mean, we kiss and everything...” Stopping at the place we normally split, I turned and looked up at you. “We can’t here, but... Next time we’re alone... I’ll kiss you to your heart's desire, okay?”
“Yuu...” Smiling, I felt you tug me into an embrace. “Can I... ask for one more thing?”
“Sure, if you want.” I put my arms around you to hug back.
“Could you... call me by my first name?”
Such a simple request, but I could tell that it meant a lot to you. “...Sure, Touko-senpai.” The way your body tensed up made me smile. “Now go home and rest, Touko-senpai. Look forward to next time, okay?”
“Y-you won’t break the promise, right?” You looked suddenly worried you might miss your chance. “I will really kiss you a lot, okay?” When I nodded, I could almost feel your excitement radiating from your smile. “Then... I’ll look forward to it.” The hug broke and we gave each other a little pinkie promise to seal the deal. “I’ll see you later, Yuu... I love you.”
“Until then, Touko-senpai... Get lots of rest tonight, okay?”
Watching you struggle with your past was painful. Struggling to become your sister, just to please the people around you... I didn’t like it. Not at all. Touko was my senpai... my girlfriend. Not Mio. You felt the same way, I know. When you were with me, you were Touko. When we let go of each other’s hands, you were Mio. Maybe that was something that made you fall in love with me?
Now, though, walking home from our training camp, the burden on your shoulders was also weighing down on me. When it came time to split, I couldn’t bear it anymore. I kept my hand on yours and pulled you along with me towards my house. “Only Mom is home right now,” I spoke softly. “She won’t leave the store for anything for the next several hours, so we will have time to be alone.”
“Alone...?” You stopped walking and gently pulled on me to make me stop as well. “Yuu, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Because you’ll want to touch me?” I stepped forward and looked up. “You’ll want to give in to being yourself? Touko-senpai, we just had several days of nothing but practice. You couldn’t drop your mask even for a moment... you need to breathe.”
“But... I’ll...” It almost looked like you were about to cry. “If you're so kind to me... I’ll take advantage of you.”
“You can’t,” I reached up to touch your cheek gently. “Because I’m asking you over so we can do those things...” You took my hand and kissed it gently before giving me a loving smile. The rest of the way to my house was made in silence, each of us gripping the other’s hand with a mix of embarrassment and excitement. I basically asked her over for sex, in much more pleasant words.
My mom greeted us when we got home, and I confirmed that the rest of my family would be out for a while. With an excuse of summarizing the study camp for Stuco, I bought us several hours of alone time. Now confident, I let you into my room and locked the door behind me, just in case.
“I don’t... exactly know how to start,” you confessed with a red face. “I feel like since I’m the older one, I should lead...”
“For tonight...” I took both your hands and led you over to my bed. “Just be Touko. I want to be with my girlfriend.” That was all it took to get you on top of me. I fell back onto my bed, guided by your arms, and my head landed on my pillow. I felt your weight on me, your legs straddling my body, and your hands palming my sides.
Kiss after kiss came, tongues touching each other’s at the same time. I could feel your desperation, the burning desire you had locked away since that moment we both stripped down to take a bath together at school. My uniform was being undone, and to my surprise, I found my own hand trying to work at yours as well.
The jumper was shed, leaving me in only a white button up shirt that was undone enough to show my bra, my panties, and socks. I had to work harder to get your clothes off, as you wouldn’t let up from kissing along my neck. Your hands were so hot... It felt like they were leaving a burning trail against my skin wherever you touched me. I felt your tongue against my throat and I lifted my chin to allow you to lick along it before claiming my lips once more.
Although neither of us really knew what we were doing, instinct and desire seemed to take over. I was pinned, your body hanging over me as you panted against my skin. We were both sweating now, our bodies glistening in the setting sunlight being cast over us. It was so hot, and even felt slippery when we finally managed to embrace each other when fully unclothed.
Our bodies moved, my leg over your left hip while yours went over mine. I was pulled close, our sex touching together for the first time. Looking up at you, I closed my eyes in a request for a kiss. Your tongue slid along mine, mouth pressing down as you held me close. Each movement was like lightning shooting through my legs. I was twitching, gasping, and squirming in your arms, but you held strong.
Your hips found a rhythm, gyrating and grinding up against me in a way that seemed to hit both of our spots in turn. As I was laid back onto the bed, I realized just how much bigger than me you were. Not only in height, but also in size. Your body was so... comforting. Protective… Sensual
My knee bent more, wrapping around your hips as I discovered how to move along with you. Pushing forward, lifting up, sliding down, pulling back... The motions became so natural. Our pace picked up, your body starting to lean more and more into me. I could only hear your panting, could only feel your body rhythmically bucking against mine. I smelt your perfume, tasted the sweat on your neck as I bit down...
And accepted your love when I finally climaxed in your arms.
My moans were muffled by your shoulder, body shaking as I rode out the amazing experience. I was scared I wouldn’t be able to help you also reach the peak, being so weak after the body blitz. Thankfully, you were already close, whispering my name over and over as I pushed myself for you. Lifting up, smearing my wet love against yours, pushing against the sensitive bud at the top... And then you came as well. My body hurt from the embrace, but it felt good at the same time. Gasps, muted cries into the pillow next to my head, you shook in pleasure from my actions, as I had just done to yours.
When we could breathe again, you fell over to the side. My bed was a mess, but I didn’t even care. Laying with you next to me, your head against my breasts, and playing with your hair was like a small piece of heaven. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but by the time you finally began to talk, we were both dry and calm once more.
You told me more about your sister, how you tried so hard to make her proud... Only to find out that you were nothing like her. It was something that, to me, was a good thing, but I also knew that it wasn’t what you wanted. “I don’t have advice for you,” I whispered gently. “But I can offer my support. I know you want to figure this out, and I want to help you...”
“Even if I’m a mess?” Looking up at me, I felt like for once I was the supportive one.
“I’ll help you every step of the way, Touko... Because I love you.” I knew the word scared you, but there was no denying it. I was in love with this woman. “Not your ideal self... Not your sister... but Touko.” I smiled gently. “I love you, Touko...”
“Yuu...” I felt your embrace and I hugged you back longingly. “I love you... Yuu...”
I really enjoyed the reactions of everyone the next time we were all together. The way I called your name, the smile on your face as you answered... The shocked look on Doujima-kun’s face… Everything felt so much better. I knew you were still hurting on the inside, but all of our friends were with you to help. Even when I changed the ending of the play we were working on, seeing how much the ideas hurt you, you still trusted me.
Saeki-senpai was there for you as well. I could tell it in her eyes when she looked at you. Guiding you along the changes, helping you- both yourself and as the character in the play- discover who you truly were. In the end, it turned out that you chose yourself. Dropping the mask, embracing your own dreams, and finally leaning on your friends when you needed it.
I watched as Saeki-senpai hugged you, whispering soft words in your ear when you broke down on stage. The audience would never know it wasn’t part of the script, and we adapted accordingly. It turned out to be an amazing thing for you, as you were scouted by an acting troupe. It might have been a little sneaky, but... You always were amazing at playing a role.
Looking back on our year together… I have to say, the trail of kisses leading up to this point was something that I would always cherish.