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Jamie Fraser to Claire Fraser : claire

Claire Fraser : Yes

Jamie Fraser : im at work claire

Claire Fraser : yes

Jamie Fraser : in a meeting

Claire Fraser : yes

Jamie Fraser : dougals going 2 off me if i laugh out loud again

Claire Fraser : Yes.

Jamie Fraser : why did u just send me a google stock photo of bagpipes

Claire Fraser : They don’t have bagpipe emojis.


Claire Fraser to Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : I’m going to kill something Murtagh

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : Bed rest no sitting well with you then.

Claire Fraser : First degree murder. I’m going to break my oath. I’ve decided.

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : God didn’t make me for this kind of melodrama. Also, I \ m not good at text. If ye need text yeve the lad.

Claire Fraser : He’s at work

Claire Fraser : Dougal might fire him

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : Dougal says that every week. Bed rest is important Claire. It’s only for the week. For you and the Bairn’s good.

Claire Fraser : I know

Claire Fraser : I may castrate your godson though

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : That’s reasonable. Next tim,e please telephone if you must inform me of such an urge.

Claire Fraser : texting wouldn’t be as bad if you got rid of the Nokia

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : No.


Willie MacKenzie to the lads ft. worlds most terrifying pregnant englishwoman : did the nandos down the block get closed down?

Angus Mohr : its under construction

Rupert MacKenzie : no its not it got closed down

Angus Mohr : in correct. 

Jamie Fraser : they were breaking healthcare regulations according 2 claire

Willie MacKenzie : noo!!!!

Jamie Fraser : i know, we all mourned

Angus Mohr : we did no all mourn as we are some of us in denial

Claire Fraser : I thought you arses were in a meeting

Jamie Fraser : aye

Rupert MacKenzie : questionable. 

Rupert MacKenzie : angus and willie can tit off but if dougal catches jamie looking at his phone again he might blow a top

Angus Mohr : we’re meeting about ‘elevator maximum capacity’

Angus Mohr : why does that require a meeting

Willie MacKenzie : safety protocols?

Rupert MacKenzie : jamie lad … you couldnt have held the phone farther under the desk

Angus Mohr : ur husbands getting fired claire. Im here if u need a provider

Jamie Fraser : she has a medical degree u arse

Rupert MacKenzie : how is he still on the phone

Claire Fraser : fuck you all

Claire Fraser : now I’m craving Nandos

Rupert Mackenzie changed the chat name from the lads ft. worlds most terrifying pregnant englishwoman to worlds most terrifying pregnant englishwoman ft. the lads


Jenny Murray to Claire Fraser : bringing baby clothes over now. Are ye doing alright claire?

Claire Fraser : I’m fantasizing about running a twelver around the block

Jenny Murray : shite. That bad then

Claire Fraser : And I may cry all over the baby clothes

Jenny Murray : 1 week puithair. And then only 3 months to go. 

Claire Fraser : you’re not the one who is banned from walking down the stairs to the kitchen

Jenny Murray : you live in a flat claire. You don’t have stairs

Claire Fraser : It’s the principle of the thing.

Jenny Murray : have jamie give you a foot massage

Jenny Murray : it’ll help with your newfound dreams of becoming a marathon runner

Claire Fraser : To think you’ve done this three times already

Jenny Murray : don’t remind me


Claire Fraser to Jamie Fraser and Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : do We have orange juice left

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : ?

Jamie Fraser : i am literally in the next room over

Claire Fraser : I’m not talking to you right now. 

Jamie Fraser : u texted a group chat w me in it and murtagh wouldnt know if we have orange juice or not?

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : I will not be part of this.

Jamie Fraser : is this because i told fergus about the pee

Jamie Fraser : he needs to know! one day hell have a wife 

Claire Fraser : he’s TEN

Jamie Fraser : excellent time to start learning

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : Either use private messaging feature or answer damn orange juice question so I may go back to my evening in peace.

Jamie Fraser : think were all out of orange juice

Claire Fraser : okay

Jamie Fraser : sassenach … i can hear you crying from the living room

Jamie Fraser : i ken its not about the orange juice or the pee. can i come into the kitchen?

Claire Fraser : I wish Dr. Hildegard never saw the blood

Jamie Fraser : no you dont

Claire Fraser : No I don’t.

Claire Fraser : You can come into the kitchen


Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser to Jamie Fraser : Phonecall won’t come through so I must use text. I ken it’s hard for the lass. She’s so used to running about all the time. 

Jamie Fraser : aye

Jamie Fraser : a ghoistidh … im trying not to be scared

Jamie Fraser : dont think im doing a very good job

Muratgh Fitzgibbons Fraser : That’s shite and you know it. You’re doing fine lad

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : Call if you need anything. Both of you.

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : with a TELEPHONE. No more of this key board business.

Jamie Fraser : <3 <3


Geillis Duncan to Claire Fraser : marys had 2 meltdowns in 3 days

Geillis Duncan : she thinks ur going to die

Claire Fraser : Still dont see how the poor thing completed a whole nursing degree with her mental health in tact

Geillis Duncan : pure dumb luck?

Claire Fraser : I’m not going to die

Geillis Duncan : if ye do, can i have your locker? mine always smells like wet dog for some reason. also mrs. hannigan from bed 46 was asking after u the other day

Claire Fraser : Tell Mrs. Hannigan I’m not going to die and you’re not getting my locker

Geillis Duncan : some friend you are


Jamie Fraser to Claire Fraser : claire i know ur bored but u are literally killing me here im trying to focus on a clients moulding bannisters have u no consideration for ur husbands mental and spiritual health

Claire Fraser : Thinking about his bodily health actually

Jamie Fraser : mary michael and bride


Angus Mohr to if we’d been alive during that one independence war scotland would be a free state : whyd geordie from HR send out a mass email about inappropriate content via work email?

Willie MacKenzie: angus, i feel like of all of us you’d be most likely to know the answer to that question

Angus Mohr : true

Angus Mohr : but genuinely this time i didnt do anything

Willie MacKenzie : maybe its like that time dougals mistress sent him nudes in the middle of the financial progress meeting

Angus Mohr : oh aye

Jamie Fraser : the new group chat name is too long

Rupert MacKenzie : your attempts to totally change direction of the conversation without prompting arent suspicious at all, jammf

Claire Fraser : I agree with Rupert

Jamie Fraser : the minute you’re no longer 6 months pregnant & on medical bedrest sassenach im going to kill you

Angus Mohr : … i feel like we’re missing something here


Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser to Claire Fraser and Jamie Fraser : I ken it’s late which is why I am not calling. At your flat outside the door. Jenny sent me with casserole. Why won’t the door open?

Claire Fraser : The great scholar in our midst decided he wanted to reorganize our bookshelves

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : … At eleven at night?

Claire Fraser : he said

Claire Fraser : And I quote,

Claire Fraser : “tis high time, mo nighean donn. the bairn will need a good library”

Jamie Fraser : i wouldnt have to be doing this if u hadnt spent the whole afternoon taking them out and flipping through them and just LEAVING them there

Claire Fraser : I was bored! I’m on bedrest! YOU try being on bedrest!!!

Jamie Fraser : there arent even that many books. 

Claire Fraser :  False

[1 missed call from Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser]

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : Am I correct in assuming there is a bookshelf in front of the door.

Claire Fraser : You are indeed

Jamie Fraser : temporary!!!! i thought since we’re both home we could decide on a way to organize together

Claire Fraser : You say that like ninety percent of these aren’t yours

Jamie Fraser : thats not true

Jamie Fraser : mostly

Claire Fraser : Popular Tales of the West Highlands

Claire Fraser : The Iliad

Jamie Fraser : claire

Claire Fraser : Gullivers travels

Jamie Fraser : claire

Claire Fraser : A complete annotated history of Middle Earth

Jamie Fraser : u can stop picking books up off the coffee table & pointedly reading the titles out loud claire

Claire Fraser : 5 copies of James Joyce?????

Claire Fraser : Murtagh can give us the casserole through the window if he likes

Claire Fraser : Spiderman style 

Jamie Fraser : again, IM not the one who turned the living room into disorganized piles of her husbands favourite books

Claire Fraser : That was within my rights as your wife

Jamie Fraser : thats true

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : Jamie, move the damned bookshelf or you’ll no be getting any casserole.

Jamie Fraser : … aye

Claire Fraser : I left the erotic poetry one under the water pitcher

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : I’m deleting you both from my contacts.


Jenny Murray to Claire Fraser : Status update?

Claire Fraser : I watched Wuthering Heights three times today

Claire Fraser : I don’t even like Wuthering Heights

Jenny Murray : Christ, Claire

Claire Fraser : yee haw, as the Americans say


Claire Fraser to Geillis Duncan : hows A&E

Geillis Duncan : still on its feet. hasn’t collapsed or been cursed or set on fire

Geillis Duncan : ive made some efforts but it just wasnt meant to be

Geillis Duncan : how much longer have u got?

Claire Fraser : Dr. Hildegard said 4 days

Geillis Duncan : claire!! Thats grand!! Are ye coming back to work?

Claire Fraser : I’m not sure

Claire Fraser : it’s annoying when my doctor is also my boss.

Claire Fraser : And I’m also a doctor

Geillis Duncan : aye

Geillis Duncan : u ken its not the same without you claire

Geillis Duncan : but you have to take care of yourself. and the bairn

Claire Fraser : I know


Angus Mohr to we think angus may have caught a venereal disease : has anyone dvrd the football match from last weekend?

Angus Mohr : also which of u shites changed the group chat name

Willie MacKenzie : boo tottenham

Rupert MacKenzie : you boo tottenham

Angus Mohr : bastards. focus up here

Rupert MacKenzie : your dignity isnt more important than football

Rupert MacKenzie : also it was claire

Willie MacKenzie : definitely claire

Jamie Fraser : claire

Claire Fraser : I plead the fifth

Angus Mohr : … u know what i cant even be mad

Angus Mohr : hang in there lass


Ian Murray to Claire Fraser : hullo claire. Jen said to ask you if you got the package she sent in the mail. She was going to drive into town but this weeks been mad with the kids.

Claire Fraser : Hi Ian. I did, I got it. Please give her my love and thanks. The soaps have been really nice

Ian Murry : aye, she was wondering if you’d mind the smells. But I’m glad they helped. How are you holding up, lass?

Claire Fraser : I … don’t know

Claire Fraser : I’m not allowed to get out of bed unless someone carries me

Ian Murray : aye

Claire Fraser : I don’t know whats wrong with me or if I should be more worried or less worried

Claire Fraser : I’m supposed to be the doctor.

Ian Murray : it’s not your fault claire. 

Claire Fraser : I miss the kids

Ian Murray : aye, they miss u as well. U can all come for a visit, once you’re allowed. Jenny’ll make me clean up the guest room, it’ll be grand

Claire Fraser : Thank you Ian. That sounds lovely


Jamie Fraser to Geillis Duncan : claire says to say thank u for the get well soon card u all made

Jamie Fraser : she’d text u urself but shes spent the last hour crying over it in the bathroom

Geillis Duncan : major success then

Jamie Fraser : oh aye

Geillis Duncan : u alright, laddie?

Jamie Fraser : ill bide

Geillis Duncan : thats not what i meant. 

Jamie Fraser : i know

Geillis Duncan : the card was all mary’s idea

Jamie Fraser : lying doesnt suit u duncan. you’ll have to live w the fact that claire might call u in tears at some point tonight

Geillis Duncan : it was the note from dr hildegard that did it, no? 

Jamie Fraser : one hundred percent. the ‘ma chere’ always gets her

Geillis Duncan : legendary classic, that one


Claire Fraser to Jamie Fraser : Can you pick up orange juice on the way home

Jamie Fraser : yes maam

Jamie Fraser : store brand or the other stuff?

Claire Fraser : Lets get crazy with it

Jamie Fraser : tropicana it is

Claire Fraser : Also I’ve decided that when this is over I may have to personally perform a vasectomy on you

Jamie Fraser : … contraception?

Claire Fraser : Nope, sorry. That’s not going to cut it

Jamie Fraser : that sounds fair tbh

Claire Fraser : How could I not love a man who says such things


Jamie Fraser : very idiosyncratic that u just told me ur going to cut my bits off and a minute later u call me doing That Thing w ur voice

Jamie Fraser : vixen

Claire Fraser : I can’t believe you just took the time to spell out idiosyncratic in full over text

Jamie Fraser : had to focus on something. im in the tube!!!

Claire Fraser : I’m not going to cut your bits off

Jamie Fraser : well thank christ for that


Jamie Fraser to Claire Fraser : I love you too, claire. more than life


Claire Fraser changed the group chat name to claire’s going to commit a first degree murder.

Rupert MacKenzie : well that’s not concerning at all

Jamie Fraser : she saw a stray cat dancing on the fire escape and saw red

Willie MacKenzie : not sure if anyone should be dancing on fire escapes even when theyre in good health

Jamie Fraser : an excellent point

Angus Mohr : if shes pregnant wouldnt a fire escape be risky for overbalancing

Claire Fraser : Not in the fucking mood, lads

Rupert MacKenzie : understandable, have a nice day


[unknown number] to Claire Fraser : Bonjour Claire, it’s Louise from down the hall. Suzette gave me your number. My girlfriend and I heard about your situation. My younger sister went through a difficult pregnancy two years ago and I know it can be upsetting. We are leaving you some fresh baked bread at your door. Hope you are feeling better soon!

[unknown number] : I promise it is not poisoned or anything

[unknown number] : Annalise makes very good bread. Cure to all ills.


Claire Fraser to Jamie Fraser : I’m leaving you to go live with these women and their bread

Jamie Fraser : that good??? christ. I might leave with you

Claire Fraser : I’m not allowed to move yet so you’ll have to carry me there

Jamie Fraser : u know id do anything for you claire


Claire Fraser to Jamie Fraser : I know. I think I don’t deserve you.

Jamie Fraser : utter shite, definitely the other way round

Claire Fraser : You’re going to make me cry

Jamie Fraser : aye, im used to it at this point. we’ll be alright, mo graidh


Jenny Murray to Jamie Fraser : how is she?

Jamie Fraser : not bad. bleeding stopped a few days ago so mostly she says this is just being careful. only two days left if all goes well

Jamie Fraser : she fell asleep on the couch w fergus watching animal planet earlier

Jenny Murray : so good then

Jamie Fraser : i suppose

Jenny Murray : she’s a braw one. more stubborn than any fraser, if that’s even possible. She’ll be just fine, a balaich

Jamie Fraser : aye. w the both of us the bairn’s head will end up harder than stone

Jenny Murry : family right of passage

Jenny Murray : And how are you?

Jamie Fraser : jenny 

Jenny Murray :  don’t Jenny me

Jamie Fraser : dont be an arse

Jenny Murray : YOU don’t be an arse


Jamie Fraser to Jenny Murray : i think my hearts going to burst w the fear and love and joy and terror of it all

Jenny Murray : Well, that’s not because of the bed rest. You’d be feeling like that anyway.

Jamie Fraser : arse


Claire Fraser to Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : ONEEEE MORRREEEE DAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : You’ve sent me ten boxes with question marks in them Claire.

Claire Fraser : I’m personally buying you a smartphone after I birth this infant so that you can experience emojis. 

Claire Fraser : Fergus agrees with me he’s on the couch

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : Fergus is a wee shite.

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : I am happy for you lass. Pray that you stay well.


Jamie Fraser to Claire Fraser : sassenach suzette asked me to grab fergus from school for her on the way home so ill be a bit longer than usual

Claire Fraser : Sounds grand

Jamie Fraser : you’ll call if u need anything?

Claire Fraser : I’ll be fine

Jamie Fraser : claire

Claire Fraser : Fine yes I will CALL

Jamie Fraser : xo


Claire Fraser to Jamie Fraser : Okay so

Claire Fraser : Don’t think this is cause for alarm

Claire Fraser : But if you can get home sooner rather than later that would be nice


Claire Fraser to Jamie Fraser : Jamie I know you said you’d be late but 2 hours is pushing it


[2 missed calls from Claire Fraser]


Claire Fraser to Jamie Fraser : Jamie

Claire Fraser: Jamie I lied

Claire Fraser: I lied there is definitely cause for alarm please come home 

Claire Fraser : Jamie if your phone is dead I will personally kill you and then divorce your corpse and then kill the corpse I divorced

Claire Fraser : You need to be home right now why aren’t you home


[5 missed calls from Claire Fraser]


Claire Fraser to Jamie Fraser : JAMIE



[1 missed call from Claire Fraser]

Claire Fraser to Jamie Fraser : Jamie something is seriously wrong

Claire Fraser : Please be okay

Claire Fraser : Where are you I need you we need you 

Claire Fraser : [message not sent] I’m sca


[2 missed calls from Jamie Fraser]


[1 missed call from Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser]

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser to Suzette Germain : You need food.

Suzette Germain : im fine

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : I ken the accident wasn’t bad but you have to eat something. The other bastard nearly dislocated your shoulder and your phone was near cracked in half. You’re running on that energy stuff Claire talks about.

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : Adrenaline.

Suzette Germain : im fine 

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : Sitting there like a fool in the waiting room won’t help Claire a balaich.

Suzette Germain : feck off murtagh


Angus Mohr created a group named Bono wants what we have

Rupert MacKenzie : really? that’s the chat name?

Angus Mohr renamed the group chat the lass isn’t in this group but she’s going to be absolutely fine so it’s only temporary 

Rupert MacKenzie renamed the group chat that’s a daft name for a chat

Angus Mohr renamed the group chat it’s not a daft name for a chat as she’ll be absolutely fine

Angus Mohr renamed the group chat and the bairn too

Rupert MacKenzie : fine feckin name for a chat

Angus Mohr : up yours mackenzie

Rupert MacKenzie : jamie lad

Rupert MacKenzie : we heard what happened

Rupert MacKenzie : you’ll tell us if you need anything at all

Rupert MacKenzie : aye?

Willie MacKenzie : i miss claire


Jenny Murray to Jamie Fraser : I see you have a phone again 

Jamie Fraser : the lads fetched me the one i use for work

Jenny Murray : How’s your shoulder

Jamie Fraser : fine. mild bruising. they checked fergus out for a concussion but he’s alright

Jenny Murray : Good.

Jamie Fraser : they won’t let me in the room to see her. still critical

Jenny Murray : any news?

Jamie Fraser : no. dr. hildegard said to have faith in her. and the bairn. i feel so useless jenny

Jenny Murray : I’m coming by the caf right now, almost at the ward. 

Jamie Fraser : you’re here???

Jenny Murray : Of course I’m here, Jamie

Jenny Murray : Ian’s with the weans. They’ll visit when it’s all settled down

Jamie Fraser : aye

Jenny Murray : Oh, I can see you through the glass

Jenny Murray : There are three doors to get through for some reason. But I see Murtagh’s come by with the family tartan. Glad you won’t be freezing to death in this waiting room. 

Jenny Murray : Oh, Jamie

Jenny Murray : It’s alright to cry. I’ll be right there. 


[missed call from Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser]

[missed call from Ian Murray]

[missed call from Geillis Duncan]


Jamie Fraser to Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : i’m sorry i told you to feck off

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : Think nothing of it.

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : News?

Jamie Fraser : weve a lass. 

Jamie Fraser : theyre alright

Jamie Fraser : christ, murtagh

Jamie Fraser : theyre alive. they made it


Geillis Duncan to Claire Fraser : pulled some strings so u can get prime access to the premie wards amenities

Claire Fraser : What does that even mean

Geillis Duncan : oooh theyve given u your phone back then

Claire Fraser : I yelled at them until they did. Hard to type though

Geillis Duncan : you’ll be fine in a week or so. if you’re not i’ll kill you myself

Geillis Duncan : and ur babe will be left with jamie, and god knows he wouldnt last a week without u

Claire Fraser : Feel like its in bad taste for you to be joking about this so soon

Geillis Duncan : oh, definitely

Claire Fraser : Thank you, Geillis. Truly


Claire Fraser to Geillis Duncan: God

Claire Fraser : We hadn’t even talked about names yet


Claire Fraser to Jamie Fraser : I’m sorry I said I would murder you and then divorce your corpse

Claire Fraser : I didn’t mean it

Jamie Fraser : its alright

Claire Fraser : I meant it a little bit.

Jamie Fraser : im sorry i wasnt there, claire. can you forgive me?

Claire Fraser : That’s not fair, you’re Real Sorry and I was just joking

Claire Fraser : Jamie I can see you through the window to the ward I know that look on your face

Claire Fraser : It wasn’t your fault

Claire Fraser : Get in here Fraser. We’ll blubber it out together

Jamie Fraser : elegant choice of words

Claire Fraser : If nothing else my arm’s going numb we have to tag team whose pinky she’s holding


Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser to Claire Fraser : You're alright, lass?

Claire Fraser : We're alright. Jamie's had three crises over his need to stay by my side and his inability to not be by the baby lest either of us disappear into thin air. But we're managing

Claire Fraser : Fergus volunteered to stay with me as protector, to problem solve. He's asleep at the foot of my bed right now

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : Suppose he is not a wee shite after all.

Claire Fraser : You'll have to help me convince him to leave. He's missing school!!!

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : Some things are more important than school.

Claire Fraser : You're a terrible influence

Claire Fraser : She's so tiny Murtagh. She's so tiny and beautiful and neither of us can stop crying and it's breaking my heart but in a good way

Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser : Och.

Claire Fraser : I suppose no emoji could really ever capture the true emotion of 'och'


Jamie Fraser to Claire Fraser : hows the wee mite

Claire Fraser :In absolutely top form today

Claire Fraser : She keeps reaching for my breast even though she’s too small for that still

Jamie Fraser : a woman of excellent taste

Claire Fraser : I’m going to give you two minute updates until you get back with my real clothes

Jamie Fraser : thank u

Jamie Fraser : i … dont know if i could handle leaving the hospital otherwise

Claire Fraser : I know


Willie MacKenzie to Claire gave birth to a whole live actual baby : do u think the bairn will be a tottenham fan

Rupert MacKenzie : excellent question

Angus Mohr : i believe it will

Willie MacKenzie : sacrilege 

Willie MacKenzie : and its a she now

Angus Mohr : does this mean claires alright enough for us to make jokes then

Rupert MacKenzie : your whole person is a joke, angus

Jamie Fraser : ur all shites

Jamie Fraser : and no. manchester all the way

Angus Mohr : fergusons a HACK

Claire Fraser : Bold of any of you to assume my daughter will be a sports fan

Jamie Fraser renamed the group chat my marriage is built on lies

Rupert MacKenzie renamed the group chat Jamies marriage is built on lies ft. Claire gave birth to a whole live actual baby

Angus Mohr : who will be a tottenham fan

Willie MacKenzie : shes negative 3 months old, angus


Claire Fraser to Jamie Fraser : Jamie?

Claire Fraser : I know you’re just down in the cafeteria but 

Claire Fraser : I didn’t want to wait

Claire Fraser : I was thinking about names

Jamie Fraser : aye?

Claire Fraser : Remember what Dr Hildegard said? About having faith in each other

Jamie Fraser : yes

Claire Fraser : Faith

Claire Fraser : What do you think?


Jamie Fraser renamed the group chat Faith Elizabeth Beauchamp Fraser, World’s Best Baby

Rupert MacKenzie : u made angus cry

Angus Mohr : slander

Rupert MacKenzie : u made both of us cry, you arse

Claire Fraser : it’s alright, we made Murtagh cry too


[incoming phonecall from Jamie Fraser to Claire Fraser]


“I just popped into the bedroom to put down my purse, I’ll be right --”

“No, she -- she smiled at me, Sassenach, just as we were comin’ in through the door.”


“Just now! Och, Claire, she’s sae bonny.”

“The fact that you have been gifted first smile out of pure coincidence is injustice of the highest degree --”

“Just get back out here, ye numpty --”

“I’m taking you both to court. Did you hear that Faith? Your Da’s a braggart. No forgiveness.”

“I’ll make sure her first word’ll be Mam.”

“... Deal.”