This day in the Cloud Recesses started like each day before that. Just about everyone rose at five in the morning, had breakfast, and went to do their daily duties. Lan Wangji also woke up at five in the morning, like every morning before that. His husband was, as usual, sleeping with his body sprawled over Lan Wangji’s.
His breathing was soft against Lan Wangji’s ear. “Wei Ying. Time to wake up,” Lan Wangji shook his shoulder. “Mm mm,” Wei Wuxian shook his head. “Wei Ying. Wake up,” Lan Wangji shook his shoulder again. “Let’s stay in bed for a few hours,” Wei Wuxian mumbled. “I have to teach classes today,” Lan Wangji made a move to sit up. Wei Wuxian crawled directly on top of him and collapsed onto his chest.
“Stay in bed with me,” Wei Wuxian kissed his neck and closed his eyes again. “I can’t,” Lan Wangji said, though he really wanted to. He’d stay in bed forever with Wei Wuxian if he could. Just to be in his arms, surrounded by his presence. “Fiiiine. I’m hungry anyway,” Wei Wuxian slowly sat up. He rubbed his eyes, sitting on Lan Wangji who was still laying down.
“Oh? Hanguang-Jun, the mini you seems to be excited this morning,” Wei Wuxian wiggled, feeling Lan Wangji’s hardness under him. “Want some help?” Wei Wuxian smirked devilishly. Lan Wangji picked Wei Wuxian up and set him on the other side of the bed. If he let Wei Wuxian ‘help’ him, those two would be in bed for hours. Lan Wangji got up and Wei Wuxian laughed a bit too loudly.
The two walked outside and passed a few disciples who carried small burlap sacks. “Yeah! He just gave me tomatoes for free,” one said. “Ha, you know who hates tomatoes? Sect Leader Lan! He absolutely can’t stand them,” another said. “Even Zewu-Jun has a weakness.”
“Lan Zhan, is that true? Zewu-Jun doesn’t like tomatoes?” Wei Wuxian asked as they walked to the dining hall. “Mn. Only thing he can’t tolerate. Not even a slice,” Lan Wangji shook his head. Wei Wuxian thought for a second and had an evil thought. “Let’s have tea later with your brother and uncle,” Wei Wuxian suggested. “..Mn,” Lan Wangji nodded.
They walked into the dining hall and ate in silence. Wei Wuxian would have talked but he was too busy plotting. While Lan Wangji was teaching classes, Wei Wuxian was at the market. He bought some tea leaves and a couple other things before returning to the Jingshi. He put on a pot of water and made the tea.
While doing that, he pulled a tomato out of a grocery bag and started squeezing the juice out of it and into the tea. He almost jumped when Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren came in. They saw the tomatoes and looked at Wei Wuxian suspiciously. “Heh. Hey guys,” Wei Wuxian finished squeezing out the tomato juice and mixed it around in the tea. “What are you doing?” Lan Qiren frowned.
“Just a little prank for Xichen-ge. No harm done,” Wei Wuxian smiled evilly. “Wei Ying..,” Lan Wangji shook his head. “You will not serve him that,” Lan Qiren also shook his head. “Come on, you don’t have to help me. Just don’t tell him,” Wei Wuxian’s smile grew. They shook their heads again. “Hey, Lan Qiren..remember the thing ? The thing you told me to never tell anyone about?” Wei Wuxian raised a brow.
Lan Qiren’s eyes widened in realization. “It..shouldn’t be that bad. Xichen can handle it,” he cleared his throat and stroked his beard. “Lan Zhan, you said you’d never deny me,” Wei Wuxian reminded him. “Under the circumstances..,” Lan Wangji shook his head. “But it isn’t harmful. Just fun,” Wei Wuxian tugged on his sleeve. “..only once,” Lan Wangji muttered.
“Yes! The tea is ready. Let’s go,” Wei Wuxian picked up the tea kettle and the three headed over to the Hanshi. “You brought tea?” Lan Xichen asked when they were all seated at the table. “Mn! I made it myself,” Wei Wuxian poured each of them a cup. They all picked their cups up and waited for Lan Xichen to drink his. He put the hot liquid in his mouth and frowned.
He poured it from his mouth back into the cup and looked at Wei Wuxian as if he committed murder. “Wuxian! What is in this?” He demanded. “Bahahahaha,” Wei Wuxian set his cup down and laughed. Lan Xichen had a disgusted look on his face. “Did you two know?” He asked Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren. They both looked down into their cups. Wei Wuxian was wheezing and Lan Xichen stood.
“This will not be forgotten,” Lan Xichen squinted at all of them and left his Hanshi. “Ahahahahaha, he’s so mad!” Wei Wuxian fell sideways, head landing on the floor. Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji shook their heads and left Wei Wuxian to his maniacal laughter.
“Xiang Shui..remember what you offered last week?” Lan Xichen asked a man at a stall in Yiling. The man had long grey hair and his eyes stared aimlessly. A large smile appeared on his face, showing off his white teeth. “Of course, Zewu-Jun. Is that what you’d like?” Xiang Shui asked. “Yes. Two servings,” Lan Xichen requested.
The man’s aimless eyes stared straight ahead as his hands fumbled around behind his stall. He grabbed two identical bottles and gave them to Lan Xichen. “Are you sure these are the ones?” He asked. “I may be blind but yes, I’m sure. Enjoy, Zewu-Jun,” Xiang Shui smiled and Lan Xichen handed him a piece of silver before leaving.
The Next Day
Lan Xichen walked past Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian who were on their way to the juniors’ afternoon classes. “Oh, Wangji, Master Wei, come to the Hanshi for tea today. I’ll invite Uncle too,” Lan Xichen gave them his usual heart warming smile and walked off. “Tea? Your brother is planning something, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian put a finger to his lips. “You deserve it,” Lan Wangji muttered. “It was too funny to not do. His face was priceless!” Wei Wuxian began laughing again.
Everyone was silent in the Hanshi as Lan Xichen poured them each a cup of tea. He gave Wei Wuxian and Lan Qiren two blue cups and gave Lan Wangji and himself the white cups. Lan Xichen watched how they were hesitant to drink so he decided to drink first. They all followed and drank the tea.
“Eh? Not bad, Zewu-Jun. Are you really not mad at me?” Wei Wuxian asked. “Mad? No,” Lan Xichen chuckled fondly. “It was just a harmless joke,” he added. “I knew you’d understand,” Wei Wuxian grinned. “Of course,” Lan Xichen nodded. They all continued to talk and Lan Xichen seemed to have forgotten about the tomatoes entirely.
They all went their separate ways after a while and Wei Wuxian collapsed onto the bed. “So tired,” he said, voice muffled by the sheets. Lan Wangji untied his ribbon and set it down before getting into bed himself. He climbed over Wei Wuxian and started kissing his neck.
“That feels nice,” Wei Wuxian sighed. Lan Wangji’s hands traveled down his back. “Mmn,” Wei Wuxian turned his head and gave Lan Wangji a lazy smile before closing his eyes again. Lan Wangji squeezed his ass through his robes and Wei Wuxian moaned softly. Now fully awake, he turned over and started undressing himself.
Lan Wangji did the same. Soon they were fully naked and their eyes looked at each other’s bodies hungrily. Lan Wangji bent down and kissed Wei Wuxian softly yet fervently. Lan Wangji licked at his lips and Wei Wuxian immediately opened his mouth, letting Lan Wangji’s tongue enter and press against his.
Wei Wuxian dug his nails into Lan Wangji’s back and rolled his hips up at the same time Lan Wangji rolled his. They moaned into their kiss and Lan Wangji uncapped a bottle of oil, spreading it on his fingers and himself. He started stretching Wei Wuxian open while he bit and sucked on Wei Wuxian’s lips.
Lan Wangji pulled his fingers out and thrust his entire length into Wei Wuxian at once. Wei Wuxian cursed loudly and glared at Lan Wangji. “My fault..couldn’t wait,” Lan Wangji gave him his pouty eyes. “Naughty,” Wei Wuxian shook his head. Lan Wangji moved inside of him and wasted no time, slamming into Wei Wuxian’s tight ass.
“Ah fuck, Lan Zhan. So good. Faster ah. Ah, mnngh,” Wei Wuxian shut his eyes and melted into a puddle of pleasure. His loud praises with moans in between made Lan Wangji so excited he couldn’t help but comply with his every request; fucking him faster and harder until he was speaking incoherently with saliva running down his chin.
Breathing in a mix of sandalwood, musk, lotuses, and sweat, Wei Wuxian came all over his chest with a loud cry. Lan Wangji grinded into him and came seconds after Wei Wuxian. “People think that the most esteemed Hanguang-Jun is so pure and innocent. Ah, they’re so wrong,” Wei Wuxian laughed, earning another thrust.
“Ah! Quit that. Help me to the tub,” Wei Wuxian held his arms out and Lan Wangji slid out of him before picking him up, carrying him to the tub. They filled it with hot water and sat down. “I can’t believe you Lan Zhan. One day, you’re gonna break my ass and then you’ll regret fucking me this hard,” Wei Wuxian grumbled as Lan Wangji cleaned him out.
“Your fault!” Lan Wangji muttered. “Not my fault you’re insatiable,” Wei Wuxian shot back. “Not true,” Lan Wangji shook his head. “Then are you satisfied?” Wei Wuxian sat in between his legs, back against his chest. “No,” Lan Wangji answered truthfully. “See!? Insatiable,” Wei Wuxian tsked as he cleaned himself up.
“Can’t get enough of Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji kissed his cheek and neck. “Oh? We can do a round two if you want,” Wei Wuxian chuckled. “Really?” Lan Wangji’s eyes lit up as if he were a child who just got candy. “Do your worst,” Wei Wuxian turned his head to look at him. “Mark your words,” Lan Wangji growled.
At four thirty in the morning, Lan Qiren woke up. He had to get up early today and set his body clock to this time. Jeez, why did his butt hurt so much? And why did his back not hurt at all? As he tried to get out of bed, he found an arm holding him down.
Lan Qiren whipped his head to see a naked Lan Wangji with his head in Lan Qiren’s neck. “Lan Wangji! Why are you in my room and where are your clothes!” Lan Qiren nearly shouted despite the rules. Lan Wangji sat up in confusion. He gazed at his husband, “Up early?” Lan Qiren stared at his nephew in disbelief and then Lan Wangji patted his hair before kissing him.
KISSING? “Get out of my room! Go back to your Jingshi immediately!” Lan Qiren hopped out of the bed to find he was also naked. He couldn’t see his body clearly but he felt so light! And his ass hurt even more. Lan Wangji frowned at him, “?” “This is the Jingshi,” Lan Wangji also got up and put his hands on his husband’s hips.
Lan Qiren looked like he saw a ghost and ran away, butt naked, out of the Jingshi. Lan Wangji was wondering what kind of trick Wei Wuxian was playing on him so early in the morning. He quickly dressed and grabbed a thick robe for Wei Wuxian before running out of the Jingshi. “Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji called. No response. He searched the premises and frowned. Where did he go?
Wei Wuxian woke up annoyed when he couldn’t find the warmth he was looking for. He sat up yawned, putting a hand to his mouth only to feel hair on his face. “What the fuck,” Wei Wuxian swore and peered around the room, searching for Lan Wangji. He got out of bed and stretched.
He looked around again and realized this was not the room he woke up in. “What the fuck?” Wei Wuxian said again as he looked down at himself and saw he was wearing robes. Gusu’s robes. He frowned and walked out of the room he was in, barefoot. The moment he got out, he saw someone running towards him, butt naked.
When the man got closer, he saw this man had his face! “Who are you!?” He asked. “Who are you!?” Lan Qiren shot back. Lan Wangji came up to the two of them and wrapped Lan Qiren in the robe. “Wei Ying, why did you come to see uncle so early?” He asked.
“Lan Zhan, what are you talking about? Your uncle isn’t here,” Wei Wuxian frowned. “Uncle..are you alright?” Lan Wangji looked at Lan Qiren worriedly, thinking he was delirious. “Oh my God. Wait..you’re Lan Qiren?” Wei Wuxian pointed to the man that looked like him.
“Yes! You are Wei Wuxian then?” Lan Qiren frowned. “Yeah..oh shit. Oh shit! Aha! Ahahahahaha,” Wei Wuxian laughed and it looked strange since he was in Lan Qiren’s body. “I am confused,” Lan Wangji tilted his head. Wei Wuxian put a hand on Lan Wangji’s cheek.
“I’m Wei Ying in your uncle’s body. Your uncle is in my body,” Wei Wuxian explained. Lan Wangji processed the information and then looked at Lan Qiren in horror, covering his lips. “No way..DID YOU KISS LAN QIREN!?” Wei Wuxian cackled. “Ridiculous!” The other two shouted at once.
“Why is this happening,” Lan Qiren looked at his own face. Wei Wuxian thought for a minute and then laughed nervously. “This might be my fault,” he said sheepishly. “Of course!” Lan Qiren huffed. “Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji raised a brow. “Well, I think we have to talk to your brother,” Wei Wuxian rubbed an unfamiliar hand on the back of an unfamiliar neck.
Lan Qiren stormed into Lan Xichen’s Hanshi, followed by his nephew and nephew-in-law. Lan Xichen was already seated at a table, pouring four cups of tea. “Have a seat, everyone,” Lan Xichen smiled at them. They all took a seat begrudgingly and Lan Xichen continued smiling. “How do you all feel?” He asked.
“Xichen-gege, my back hurts. I can’t stay in this old man’s body. It was just some tomato juice! Spare me,” Wei Wuxian pleaded as he pounded on his back. “Don’t touch my body!” Lan Qiren shouted. “Hey, look, Uncle. I’m wearing your ribbon! Ahaha,” Wei Wuxian pointed at his forehead.
“Wei Wuxian! Don’t you dare touch that!” Lan Qiren was seething. “Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji gave him a look, telling him to behave. “This is quite fun,” Lan Xichen chuckled. “Xichen! Change us back now,” Lan Qiren huffed. “I can’t,” Lan Xichen shrugged. “What?” Everyone looked at him.
“It will go away on it’s own. When.. I don’t know. Might be tomorrow, might be next month.. next year.. I don’t know,” Lan Xichen shrugged again. “Brother,” Lan Wangji frowned. “You all pranked me. It’s just a harmless joke. Right, Wuxian?” Lan Xichen laughed. Wei Wuxian slapped his leg. “Don’t touch my body!” Lan Qiren frowned deeply.
“Hey! Smile, please. I can’t be getting wrinkles because of you. Lan Zhan won’t want a husband with a wrinkly face,” Wei Wuxian pointed at his own face. “Will love Wei Ying even when he’s wrinkly,” Lan Wangji protested. Wei Wuxian scratched under his chin. “Stop doing that in my body! I am being traumatized!” Lan Qiren shielded his eyes.
“We can’t tell anyone about this,” Lan Qiren added. “That will be fun,” Wei Wuxian grinned. “Don’t smile in my body,” Lan Qiren grimaced. “As long as you don’t frown. Don’t scare my juniors. Don’t you have a class this morning? I’ll go teach. Goodbye everyone. Lan Zhan, I’d kiss you but it’d be weird so I’ll just hug you,” Wei Wuxian hugged him tightly and Lan Wangji hugged back.
Wei Wuxian skipped out of the Hanshi and went to the Lanshi. The junior disciples were inside waiting. “Grandmaster Qiren,” the students all bowed. “Mn,” Wei Wuxian nodded and went to the front, sitting at Lan Qiren’s table. “Seems we have visitors today,” Wei Wuxian said as he saw Lan Xichen walk in with his brother and uncle.
“Senior Wei looks like he’s in a bad mood,” Jingyi whispered. Sizhui also noticed and shrugged, “He can’t be mad for long.” “Ahem! No talking!” Wei Wuxian’s voice boomed. “Our apologies, Grandmaster Qiren. We will receive our punishment,” they bowed. “Mn, very well,” Wei Wuxian stroked Lan Qiren’s beard.
Lan Xichen almost laughed while Lan Wangji shook his head. Lan Qiren looked about ready to die of anger. “Ahem! Pop quiz.. what are we learning about today?” Wei Wuxian only asked because he himself had no idea. “Proper Lan Etiquette around the elderly, maidens, senior disciples, and fellow junior disciples,” Jingyi answered.
“Ew, really?” Wei Wuxian scrunched his nose. The juniors all raised a brow. Lan Qiren coughed. “Oh! I mean, of course. Proper etiquette. Because that’s so very fucking useful when you’re fighting monsters. ‘Oh, excuse me mister fierce corpse. Could you please stop trying to kill people or else I will have to use my sword to stop you. Only if you’re okay with that, though.’ Ahahahahahaha,” Wei Wuxian cackled.
The juniors’ eyes all bulged and they were rendered speechless. “Wei Wuxian!” Lan Qiren couldn’t help but hiss. “Why are you calling your own name, Wei Wuxian? Ah! You are such a disgrace! I should’ve made you copy more scriptures while you studied here. Get out of my classroom!” Wei Wuxian put on his best frown.
Lan Qiren clenched his fists and was about to walk up to Wei Wuxian to beat him up. “Your temper, Wuxian. Calm down,” Lan Xichen held Lan Qiren back. “What the actual hell?” Jingyi muttered. “Wei Ying. Don’t joke anymore. Be good,” Lan Wangji looked at Wei Wuxian. “Fine, fine. Alright kids, I’m not your Grandmaster Qiren, haha. I’m your Senior Wei!” Wei Wuxian held up two peace signs and smiled.
“Oh, that makes so much sense but at the same time it doesn’t,” a disciple nodded. “Can you not make that face in Grandmaster Qiren’s body..? It looks weird,” Jingyi shuddered. “Is this better,” Wei Wuxian frowned deeply and stroked his beard. “Wei Wuxian! Who told you to take the juniors out for a night hunt!? I should’ve never let you marry into this sect! You bring shame upon the Lan name! I don’t know what my nephew sees in you! Get out of my classroom!” Wei Wuxian humphed.
The junior disciples all burst out into laughter at the perfect impression. “Dad.. how long will you two be in each other’s bodies? How did this even happen?” Sizhui asked. “Ask your friggin uncle. Welp! I’m outta here. See you all later,” Wei Wuxian jumped up and skipped out of the Lanshi. Everyone looked at Lan Xichen who only ducked his head and smiled.
“Who told you to just sit and talk! Get ready for class!” Lan Qiren stomped up to his desk and sat down with a huff. The disciples immediately stopped talking and looked at their grandmaster in their senior’s body. Lan Wangji walked out and Lan Xichen followed.
“Too much,” Lan Wangji shook his head. “I’d rather die than eat a tomato, Wangji,” Lan Xichen said through a smile. “Do not be picky with food,” Lan Wangji scolded. “I have a list of rules you’ve broken, didi. Don’t start that with me,” Lan Xichen chuckled quietly. Lan Wangji sighed and they walked back to his Hanshi to enjoy a cup of normal tea.
Wei Wuxian was sitting in a tree, eating a green apple as he watched the clouds move in the sky. “Wei Ying. Be mindful of Uncle’s back,” Lan Wangji said from below. “Yes, my dear. Catch this husband of yours,” Wei Wuxian jumped out of the tree and was caught by Lan Wangji. “Lan Zhan.. I really want to kiss you. This isn’t too fun anymore,” Wei Wuxian pouted.
It was a weird look on his uncle’s face. “Lan Zhan, I want to have sex! I want it nowwww,” Wei Wuxian groaned. “Wei Ying.. calm yourself,” Lan Wangji heeded his own words as he moved the hair out of his face. “Hmph! And this ribbon is itchy too. But I can’t touch it. Can you scratch here, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian got down and clutched his robes.
Lan Wangji scratched gently where he was instructed. “My husband is so kind. Lan Zhan, what if this really goes on for over a year. I won’t be able to kiss those beautiful lips for so long! I won’t survive,” Wei Wuxian put a hand over his forehead dramatically. “We will endure it,” Lan Wangji held his hands.
“STOP SHOWING YOUR AFFECTIONS FOR EACH OTHER IN MY BODY!” Lan Qiren shouted at them. “Yelling is prohibited. I think you should go copy scriptures, Wei Wuxian ,” Wei Wuxian stroked Lan Qiren’s beard. “You-,” Lan Qiren ran over to him and Wei Wuxian ran away. “Running is prohibited! Ahhhh! Lan Zhan, save meee,” Wei Wuxian ran away while Lan Qiren chased him. Lan Wangji shook his head fondly and walked away.
At eight in the evening, Wei Wuxian was laying down on a mountain by himself. He heard footsteps and opened one eye. Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren were walking towards him. “Don’t dirty my robes. Stand properly,” Lan Qiren scolded. Wei Wuxian grunted as he stood.
“Uncle, I really feel bad for you. You have to take better care of yourself when we switch back because the pain in your back is really bad!” Wei Wuxian pounded a fist into Lan Qiren’s back. “Don’t act concerned about me,” Lan Qiren huffed.
“Of course I’m concerned about my uncle. Your well-being is important to me too. You’re family now, afterall,” Wei Wuxian said casually. Lan Wangji’s heart warmed at that. Lan Qiren muttered something under his breath, obviously flustered. “Why did you two come anyway? I was gonna sleep here,” Wei Wuxian slung an arm around Lan Wangji’s shoulders.
“We actually came to discuss sleeping arrangements. I will continue sleeping in my room,” Lan Qiren announced. “Well.. I can’t sleep with Lan Zhan. I’d probably do something I’d regret later. So I’ll go find a guest room,” Wei Wuxian shrugged. “Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji frowned in the slightest, disagreeing with the idea.
“Wangji, that is probably best. And I will be taking this. I’d rather have it on this forehead than you touching it as you wish,” Lan Qiren untied his forehead ribbon and put it in Wei Wuxian’s robes. Lan Wangji looked down at the grassy ground. Wei Wuxian sighed and gave him a hug. “Don’t be sad, alright? I won’t be far,” Wei Wuxian whispered. “...I’ll take my leave then. Goodnight,” Lan Qiren walked away.
“I want Wei Ying to stay with me,” Lan Wangji murmured. “Lan Zhan, if I stayed, I might kiss you or something. You’ll definitely regret it when me and Lan Qiren switch bodies again. You can come see me as soon as you wake up. And I’ll stay with you until you go to sleep,” Wei Wuxian ran his fingers through Lan Wangji’s hair.
Lan Wangji let out an upset huff. “I know this will be difficult but think of it this way. Once I get back into my body, we’ll have earth shattering sex! You can do me for as long as you want. As a reward, I’ll even suck you off.. twice! And I’ll be kissing you until you beg me to stop,” Wei Wuxian grinned. “Won’t ever tell you to stop,” Lan Wangji replied, ears gaining color.
“Then I’ll never stop! We’ll be kissing everywhere we go!” “Mark your words.” “Come on, let’s sit for a while. The stars are out tonight,” Wei Wuxian sat back down and Lan Wangji sat beside him. “I love you, Lan Zhan. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. The best person to come in my life. You’re my everything,” Wei Wuxian leaned his head on Lan Wangji’s shoulder and held his waist. “I love you too, Wei Ying. Best thing in my life. To come in my life. My everything,” Lan Wangji held him in return.
Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian couldn’t sleep that night. They hadn’t slept apart from each other since they’d confessed to each other. Their familiar warmth started to feel like home. Without this, sleep was impossible. Lan Wangji found himself getting out of bed and going to Wei Wuxian’s temporary bedroom.
He was glad yet worried when he saw Wei Wuxian still awake. He came to the bed and sat on the edge. Wei Wuxian looked at him with a smile. “You shouldn’t stay awake. Bad for your health,” Lan Wangji murmured. “I could say the same to you. I missed my Lan Zhan too much and couldn’t sleep without him,” Wei Wuxian swung the sleeve of Lan Wangji’s inner robe.
“Mn. Can’t sleep without Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji looked away, afraid that he might actually kiss his uncle’s lips. “I got it! Don’t worry, husband. I’ve got a solution,” Wei Wuxian pulled Lan Wangji back to the Jingshi. He went into his wardrobe and pulled out one of his red ribbons.
He tied it around his mouth. He turned to Lan Wangji and gave him a thumbs up. Lan Wangji almost laughed. Wei Wuxian pointed to their bed. Lan Wangji laid down and Wei Wuxian laid next to him. He put his head on his chest and closed his eyes. Lan Wangji also closed his eyes and they fell asleep, comforted by being in each other’s presence.
Lan Wangji was already gone from the Jingshi when Wei Wuxian woke up. Hot breakfast was sitting on the table and Wei Wuxian gulped it down. He decided that he’d change his outfit today. With a wicked laugh, he stripped Lan Qiren’s body, making sure not to look at any part of it, and put on his own robes.
He shaved Lan Qiren’s beard off and tied his hair up in a high ponytail using his red ribbon. He looked in a little mirror at himself and smiled with a slow nod before grabbing Chenqing and leaving the Jingshi. He skipped around the Cloud Recesses and relished in the horrific looks he was given by every person he passed.
Lan Xichen walked past him and his eyes bulged before he covered his mouth with his hand, not sure whether to laugh or cry. “Huan-ge,” Wei Wuxian waved. “Wuxian-di.. uh.. What did you do to Uncle’s body,” Lan Xichen pointed at him. “Ah, just some grooming,” Wei Wuxian flipped his hair. “WEI WUXIAN!” Wei Wuxian knew who that voice belonged to. Hearing his own voice was stranger than he imagined.
He turned to see Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji coming his way. “Uncle! Look, I made you look really handsome. Do you like it?” Wei Wuxian rubbed his clean chin. Lan Qiren was seething. “This is the second time!” He said through clenched teeth.
“Uncle, calm down! Don’t want your blood pressure rising. It isn’t good for your health. And I see you haven’t shaved my face either. Lan Zhan, do you see the stubble I have now? Do you like this or should I keep it shaved off when we switch back?” Wei Wuxian examined the short stubble on his body’s chin and above his upper lip.
Lan Wangji refused to engage in this conversation. “Xichen! This has gone on long enough. Put me back in my body immediately!” Lan Qiren stomped up to his nephew. “Uncle, it really depends on you two. Whenever it wears off really isn’t up to me,” Lan Xichen shrugged. “Maybe you have to work through your differences and form a bond!” Jingyi said, coming from literally nowhere.
“Ahaha, funny. Uncle will hate me until I die for the second time. Only then will Uncle be at rest,” Wei Wuxian cackled. “Is that what you think?” Lan Qiren looked at him, raising a brow. “Wangji, Jingyi, let’s go,” Lan Xichen pulled Lan Wangji and Jingyi away.
“Well yeah, you always say how me and my mom are stains in your otherwise perfect teaching career,” Wei Wuxian’s smile fell when he realized Lan Qiren was not glaring at him. Lan Qiren always glared at him. Why were his eyes.. apologetic. The sight was scary to say the least.
“I do not hate you. You are right. You and your mother did taint my record but.. you make Wangji happy. And that makes me happy. I do not approve of your cultivation methods, at all. But I also know you and Wangji are trying to improve your new core and that your new cultivation method is quite necessary.
I am.. proud.. that you are actually learning to use your golden core and cultivate properly instead of leaning on that demonic cultivation. It is also.. impressive that you came up with this entire method on your own. Wangji is always happy to help you.
I can see the way he lights up whenever he sees you even if you were just together. He was going through the toughest times of his life when you died. I um.. I regret giving him the lashes he received for protecting you. It was wrong of me and I know you feel the same way,” Lan Qiren cleared his throat numerous times throughout his mini speech, obviously not used to apologizing.
But he was right. A part of Wei Wuxian hadn’t forgiven Lan Qiren for subjecting Lan Wangji to that pain. Over thirty lashes. Leaving him bedridden for three years, unable to sleep on his back. A part of him wanted to hate Lan Qiren for it. But then again, he also hated himself for being the reason his husband had to endure such pain.
As if sensing his thoughts, “You couldn’t have stopped him no matter how hard you’d have tried. When Wangji sets out to do something, it will be done. He would do it over and over again for you. I can see how much he loves you. And I can see how much you love him. And I thank you for loving him unconditionally, loving him for who he is.” Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but tear up a bit at this.
“Uncle! I forgive you for that stuff. Water under the bridge. But now I know Uncle loves me, ahahaha,” Wei Wuxian pulled his body and the soul within it into a bone crushing hug. “Argh! Let go of me! Get off! I don’t love you! I don’t even like you,” Lan Qiren protested strongly. Lan Xichen had come back with his brother and they watched as Wei Wuxian spun Lan Qiren around in his arms.
The sight of it was definitely weird. Wei Wuxian saw Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen and let go of Lan Qiren in favor of running up to them. “Uncle told me he loves me!” He announced. “I did not! Lying is forbidden, Wei Wuxian,” Lan Qiren huffed. “It was implied! I love you too, Uncle,” Wei Wuxian smiled brightly at him.
Lan Qiren muttered under his breath, face red as a tomato. Suddenly, Wei Wuxian and Lan Qiren felt extremely dizzy. Their bodies swayed and they were caught by the Twin Jades as they blacked out.
When Wei Wuxian came to, he sat up, surprised at his lightness. He was in Lan Qiren’s room. Eyes widening, he looked at his hands and grabbed the nearest bronze mirror, looking at his face. He’d returned to his own body. Grinning, he ran out of Lan Qiren’s quarters and zipped through the Cloud Recesses, heading to the Jingshi to meet his husband.
He frowned when he didn’t see Lan Wangji and ran to the Lanshi instead. Lan Wangji was inside, teaching the junior disciples. “Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian shouted. Lan Wangji stopped talking and looked up, eyes brightening. “Wei Ying?” He asked, a bit skeptical.
“Who else? Your uncle?” Wei Wuxian laughed and jumped into Lan Wangji’s arms, wrapping his limbs around him as he kissed the living daylights out of him. Lan Wangji held a hand to his back and his bottom, kissing back just as fiercely. The disciples watched in a mix of horror, relief, and love.
“Dads..,” Sizhui said from his seat. The couple’s lips parted and they looked at their son. Realization finally setting in, Wei Wuxian cackled mirthfully and embarrassedly while Lan Wangji’s ears were a deep red. “I missed my husband so much, I had to kiss him. My apologies, children,” Wei Wuxian laughed.
“Missed my husband too,” Lan Wangji whispered in his deep low voice, pressing a kiss to Wei Wuxian’s stubbled chin. “I don’t like this facial hair, Lan Zhan. Shave it off of me,” Wei Wuxian pouted. “Mn.” “WEI WUXIAN! SHOULD I TELL YOU JUST HOW MANY RULES YOU’VE BROKEN?” Lan Qiren stormed in, his own robes on, with Lan Xichen close behind, trying to placate his uncle.
“Uncle, yelling is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses,” Wei Wuxian said, still clinging to Lan Wangji. Lan Qiren snatched his ribbon out of Wei Wuxian’s robes and left as quickly as he came, muttering under his breath.. something about Wei Wuxian being the death of him and actually considering murdering him.
“Ah, everything feels right with the world,” Jingyi said with a smile. “Indeed,” Lan Xichen laughed. The disciples hurried to bow and greet their Sect Leader.
“Xichen-ge, you’re too cruel. I’m never pranking you again!” Wei Wuxian pouted at him. “Wei Gongzi crossed my only line. And you even brought brother and uncle into it. That deserves punishment. Look on the bright side. Uncle doesn’t seem to want to murder you much anymore,” Lan Xichen grinned.
“Still too cruel! I need to reach immortality quickly! I can’t grow old! My back will be all painful and my Lan Zhan will be all young and beautiful while I’m old and wrinkly and he won’t love me anymore,” Wei Wuxian sobbed dramatically. “Will love Wei Ying regardless. Bad back, wrinkles, and all,” Lan Wangji kissed his forehead.
Wei Wuxian grinned. “Lan Zhan! End classes early. We have business to take care of. You owe me earth-shattering sex. And... I want to top you,” Wei Wuxian said against his neck. “Class dismissed,” Lan Wangji immediately walked out with Wei Wuxian wrapped around him. “Set up the silencing talismans around the Jingshi,” Lan Xichen shook his head with a fond smile. “Make sure they’ll last for a few days,” he added.