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You're the Good Ramen, Davey

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POV- Jack Kelly

I walked into our dorm room, exhausted from my late shift. I walked in, kicking off my shoes somewhere to the side. I heard them hit against the wood floor. I paused a second,

“Dave?” I heard music playing from his room, the door shut. I walked up to it, knocking gently. It swung open (perks of having the worst room in the building- broken doors). His room was a mess, even worse than mine. Empty bottles of iced tea everywhere, laundry, ripped up pieces of paper too. I saw a heap of blankets on his bed. I looked around, speaking again. “Davey?” Suddenly, the blankets shifted. I stopped where I was standing. Only now did I realize what he was listening to. It was a broken-hearted, the-guy-I-love-doesn’t-love-me-back song. I heard his voice from inside as he turned the volume down on the bluetooth speakers with his phone.

“Jack- Jack I thought you were working the late shift,” His voice was raw.

“What time is it, Davey?”

“Like… nine?”

“Davey… it’s one thirty in the morning…” I whispered. He flew up out of the blankets, wiping at his face. He was biting his lip hard, his arms and neck covered in scratches. He picked up one of the blankets that fell when he stood up.

“Okay- yeah. That’s fine, just a little off.” His voice sounded different. “I just- I’ll pick up, then I can go to sleep… I’ll just go to sleep and I’ll wake up in the morning, get ready and I’ll go. I’ll just- I’ll be good.” He remembered I was there all at once, “You can go to your room,” He said calmly. I walked up to him, taking two iced tea bottles from his hands as he tried to pick up and set them to the side. I wrapped my arms around him gently, holding him close to me. He started shaking before he choked out a few sobs. Seconds later, he was having a mental breakdown in my arms. I picked him up, sitting down with him on his bed. I spoke soothingly to him,

“Davey, shhh… it’s alright… it’s okay to cry… c’mere, it’ll be alright… let it all out… shh…” I rubbed his back, whispering into his ear. He curled up into me. He felt so small in my arms. He tried talking,

“God- I’m ruining your uniform all over my feelings, aren’t I? I’ll- I’ll stop now- you can go to your room.” He struggled through the sentence.

“How important are your classes tomorrow?”

“I- I don’t have any… I have the day off…” He whispered.

“I don’t either. I’m going to take care of you tonight.” I wrapped a blanket around him, carrying him out to the living room. I set him on the couch. “You like beef or chicken ramen?”

“Beef…” He whispered. I went to the kitchen, starting to prepare the only thing I knew how to cook that we could afford right now. As I waited for the water to boil, I sat down next to him.

“You wanna talk about it?” He was quiet for a while before letting out a sad chuckle.

“I don’t know. I probably should, but I don’t want to say too much, y’know?” I nodded, putting my hand over his.

“You can stop whenever you need to, okay? I’m gonna try and make it better, but I need to know what’s wrong.” He nodded.

“Have you ever been in love, Jack?” He asked.

“I- I think I might be now..? I’m not really sure what it feels like, why?”

“Everyone makes it up to be this great thing, this beautiful thing. It’s not. I’ve never been jealous in my life, Jack. I’ve never been jealous until I watched the guy I’ve been in love with for eight years kissing someone else.” He paused a moment. “I want it to be me. He had his hands on his waist and he was pushing him against a wall and he opened his eyes slowly afterwards and… I’ve never been jealous until I was.” He turned to me. “Love isn’t beautiful, it’s shit. It’s messy and it… it makes you all screwy and it makes you jealous. It makes you stupid and I don’t want this… I didn’t choose this.” He was quiet for a second. “I just wanted him to choose me, Jack… I just wanted to be the one he kissed.” Tears ran silently down his cheeks.

“Does he know, Davey?” He shook his head,

“He won’t, either.”

“What do you have to lose?”

“I have everything to lose, Jack. I have an eight-year friendship to lose. He’s my everything and I can’t lose him. I’d rather feel the pain of knowing what could have been everytime I look at him rather than not have him at all.” He said. I pulled him into a sudden hug.

“Davey… it isn’t like he’ll die if you tell him, the worst thing that could happen is he doesn’t feel the same and it’s awkward for a little while, then everything goes back to normal.” I said, pausing a moment. “What if he does like you back?”

“I watched him kiss another guy.”

“I’ve kissed like… four people and I didn’t mean it. I’ve kissed four people when I was in love with someone else.”

“What if he leaves me, Jack?”

“Then he’s an ass, and you shouldn’t like him.” Davey stared blankly for a minute.

“How would I even bring it up?”

“Practice on me,” I said, turning my body to face him. “I’ll be this guy, and I’ll tell you I like you back but you just gotta figure out what to say.” I said. He nodded briefly.

“Um… Hey… J-jack? Can I talk to you?”

“Sure, what is it, Davey?”

“I- uh… I just wanted to tell you something. It’ll only take a minute, but I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while, like… eight years? So… I don’t really know how to say it other than just… say it. I like you, Jack. More than friends. There’s so many things about you that I think about constantly. I love everything about you, even the things you don’t like. Your smile lights up a room and your laugh is addicting, your eyes are gorgeous and your voice is unforgettable. Sometimes, when you're nervous, you tap your fingers. It’s the same rhythm every time, I noticed that. When you’re happy, you bounce on your feet and you stand a little taller. When you’re sad, your eyes get cloudy and you hide it with a smile. When you look at someone you care about or talk about something you like your eyes get sparkly and I know that you’re happy and… and that’s the most important thing to me, is that you’re safe and that you’re happy.” He paused a moment, “So… I guess I like you, Jack Kelly.” He finished. My heart was pounding in my chest. I had planned out something to say, not much but it was something, but I couldn’t say anything. I licked my lips, hoping for words to come to me,

“Davey?” He met my gaze, “I’m going to do something… something real stupid, alright?” His eyebrows furrowed. I removed my hand from his, cupping his cheek now. I ducked down towards him, kissing his lips softly. It lasted a few seconds. His hand rested on the side of my neck as he kissed me back. He pulled away first with a sigh. I couldn’t tell but it seemed… sad?

“Jack… don’t kiss me.” He said. I felt my heart pounding loudly against my chest. My hands went to my lips, my eyes wide.

“Oh my god- I’m so sorry- Holy shit- fuck me- I- oh no…” I looked away. “I didn’t ask and- and I kissed you and that’s like- I just assaulted you.” I turned to him.

“Jack, don’t worry about it. We can just forget it, okay?” He curled up into a ball on the couch. “You were just filling a role for me, as the guy I like, remember? We’re going to have to forget it.” He closed his eyes, resting his head against the couch.

“O-okay…” I paused a second. “Fuck- the stove-!” I jumped up, hurrying to the kitchen. I turned the heat down quickly on the water before dumping in a packet of ramen. I stood at the stove, stirring it every now and then while I half-shouted to Davey. “If you meant all that stuff about the guy, then you like… really like him, Davey.” His head popped up from over the back of the couch.

“No shit,” He groaned. I paused for a second. Davey didn’t swear that often. He noticed, “I’m sorry… I haven’t slept for like… two days? I can’t sleep, don’t try and make me now. I just don’t know what to do, Jack…” He sounded hopeless at the end. I thought for a minute,

“Davey, I’m no good with words like you, alright?” He looked at me, partially confused, “Just thought I should warn ya’. Okay… so you’re in love, right? What’s the big problem about it?”

“He doesn’t like me back-”

“Do you know that?”


“So that’s not a problem,”

“Then… I can’t tell him.”

“You can’t tell him right now, so your problem is you’re too nervous to?”


“But one day, if you still love him, you will be able to, right?”


“So that problem is taken care of. Maybe not right now, but one day it will be.” I said, “Right now, we’re gonna eat beef ramen, alright?” He stared blankly at me before standing up off the couch. He walked up to me and hugged me tightly. I tried not to burn him with the pot I had in my hands. I moved just enough to put it back on one of the burners that was off before I hugged him back. “You’re gonna be alright, Davey… it’s not so bad.” I paused, “You were going on about how much love sucks, you seem happy with this guy.” I said.

“Yeah, but the part where I was sobbing twenty minutes ago for like five hours isn’t so fun…” He whispered. He pulled away from the hug, shaking slightly. I poured two bowls of ramen, putting spoons in each before I went off to my room. I grabbed two pairs of sweatpants and sweatshirts, I changed quickly into them, bringing the other set out into the kitchen.

“Davey- you don’t have any comfortable clothes so you’re gonna wear mine. We’re going to do nothing tonight. We can watch a movie, talk, but you’re taking a break. It is not an option.” I tossed the clothes at him. He raised an eyebrow at me. “You can’t do ‘nothing’ in dress clothes, it’s not as comfy,” I shrugged, turning to get my ramen.

I turned around after another few minutes, my mind blanking as I saw Davey in my oversized sweatshirt. He was biting his tongue in a smile, flapping the sleeves. He saw me looking and blushed. He ran up to me, sliding in his socks. He flapped the sleeves around me, giggling to himself. I watched him slide around the kitchen, waving his arms as he laughed. He snorted, covering his mouth. I laughed loudly, catching him as he almost fell. My hands brushed against his sides and he laughed loudly.

“Oh? Is David Jacobs ticklish?” I asked. He shook his head quickly, his eyes wide. I smirked, running my fingers quickly and lightly over his sides. He covered his mouth as he giggled, the room filling with the beautiful noise. I smiled to myself as he started snorting again. He bat my hands away as it became too much. He breathed quickly, resting his hands over his stomach. He sat up after a moment, flapping his arms a little bit, biting his tongue as he smiled. He smiled a bit before speaking,

“If I go too long without sleep, I get all… well, like this,” He smiled, motioning to himself.

“Good to know,” I nodded. “C’mon, let’s go eat real quick then you can keep trying to fly,” I teased, taking his hand as I walked him to the table. We finished quickly and I set the bowls in the sink, returning to him. He pulled the hood over his head, burying his face in the sleeves. He met my gaze, blushing hard. He flipped his hood down, sitting professionally.

“Uh-” He started,

“What was that?” I asked, sitting next to him.

“I’m gonna do something just a lil’ weird, m’kay?” He said,

“Go for it,” He tucked his knees under him, leaning close to me. He grabbed the collar of my sweatshirt, smelling it. He leaned up, smelling my hair. He pulled back, gasping. “I- it’s been a day since I showered- I’m sorry-”

“I thought you were nice and sprayed something on this sweatshirt-!” He stared at me, eyes wide. “Why do you smell so nice??” He asked, leaning down towards me. “God- you smell so much stronger than the sweatshirt… that’s a weird thing to say.” He wrapped his arms around me, half-sitting in my lap.

“Does tired David lose his filter?”

“Oh yeah, I’m definitely going to regret this in a few hours.” He nodded against my neck. I chuckled,

“So you say anything?”


“What did you think when I kissed you earlier?” His body stiffened. I felt my heart drop. Way to ruin the fucking moment, Jack.

“I- uh…” He pulled back, playing with the hoodie strings. “T-that’s a secret…” He whispered. “B-but it was a really nice kiss, y’know?” He said. I nodded, looking away. I bit my lip hard, this was fine, right? “I- ugh- I can’t say anything otherwise like… normal Davey would super hate me!”

“You are Davey, silly.” I teased.

“Yeah, but normally I sleep a normal amount, that’s why I’ve been drinking so much coffee the past few days is because I can’t have you see me like this,” He smiled softly.

“What could you say to make Davey hate you?”


“Oh, a lot of things, so many things. One time, Race found me like this, and I ended up telling him allll my secrets.”

“So… Race knows who you like?”

“Yep,” Davey stopped, looking around frantically as I started to pull my phone out of my pocket. He made a grab for it, taking it quickly. “No-! You can’t know who it is!” My heart dropped,

“Just… just me?”

“Y-yeah- I- I can’t… Jack… you’d hate me…” He said quietly. I took his hand in mine,

“Davey, I can’t hate you. I never ever would.”

“You would, I know you would.” I saw tears brimming in his eyes. “I just-” He let out a shaky sigh. He climbed slowly back onto my lap, breathing me in. “You’re kinda dumb, Jackie…”

“Well, thanks, Davey.”

“No- no I mean you’re dense. Like, just put two and two together and figure out who it is.”

“Dave… I want you to tell me… I don’t want to have to figure it out, I want you to trust me to know.” I said. He curled up closer into my chest.

“When you kissed him… when you kissed that guy at the party two weeks ago… what was it..?” He asked sadly. I pursed my lips.

“It was the fact that I was drunk. I needed something to get my mind off the guy I love because he doesn’t love me back and-” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “He looked just like him, Davey. He looked just like him but he didn’t look at me the same and his touch was rough and mean, he was demanding. He looked like him but he didn’t touch or sound like yo-” I paused my heart hammering, “like him, like the guy I love.” I corrected it.

“O-okay… so you don’t love him?”

“God, no. Like… if you really wanted ramen, but you could never get ramen. Sometimes you gotta settle for the crappy stuff just to eat something like it, y’know? But then the ramen is just… awful and you wish you wouldn’t have…” He leaned into me.

“Good… that’s good…” He paused. “Who’s the good ramen?”

“Uh-” I struggled for words.

“Just tell me why you like them,”

“He’s sweet and funny, he’s brilliant… I’d do anything for him. His touch is soft and kind and he looks at me like I’m something worth looking at. He reminds me of sunflowers and sunshine and… I think about him all the time… I’m not good with words, but I’m half-alright with feelings. I just… don’t know how to put them into words.” He nuzzled into me,

“He sounds real sweet, Jackie…” He paused a second, “Is it Crutchie?”

“Nah… he’s sweet but just… he’s like a little brother, y’know?”

“Yeah… who is it?”

“I-” I couldn’t say anything.

“Do I finally have Jack Kelly speechless?” He asked, pulling back to look into my eyes. He straddled me, his arms draped over my shoulders.

“You’ve had me speechless for years, David Jacobs.” He was staring obviously at my lips. I cupped his cheek with one hand, the other on his waist. He glanced back up at my eyes, letting out a quiet sigh. He blinked hard before he looked away.

“We- I can’t, Jackie…” He mumbled. “I can’t just be someone for you to kiss and regret it… another guy from a party or something…” he whispered. I struggled to find something to say.


“I- I said too much-” He squeaked, climbing off me in one quick motion. He bolted for his room. I followed right behind him, closing the door behind us.

“Hold on- Davey-”

“Jack…” He whispered. He paced back and forth in his room, his hands shaking. I took his hands in mine, steadying them.

“Davey, look at me.” He turned his gaze to me. “I need you to tell me who you like.”

“Who do you think, Jack?” He looked away, eyes sad. “I’ve known you for eight years and… you kissed some guy at a party…” He whispered,

“And I kissed you like… an hour ago. I swear, Davey… I’ll do it again if that’s what you want.”

“It’s not about what I want, though.” I cupped his cheeks.

“It is- I’d do anything for you, Davey.” I paused, “Please, say who you like.” He looked up at me, eyes tired and sad.

“I like you, Jack. I’ve been in love with you for eight years and you were too dense to notice.” I couldn’t help it when the crooked smile grew on my face.

“You’re the good ramen, Davey.” I said. His eyebrows furrowed a second, confused. He realized what I’d said at once.

“Don’t fuck with me, Jackie.” He said breathlessly. I run my thumbs over his cheeks,

“Can I kiss you?” I asked, He nodded, closing the distance between us. His hands were in my hair, and he tasted like coffee with the good creamer. It was a long, sweet kiss that made the world disappear. I kissed him twice more, quick short ones after that with the same feeling of electricity. I scrunched up my nose with a small chuckle, Dave furrowed his eyebrows for a brief second,

“I thought through how I’d tell you that for years… I didn’t think it would be with ‘You’re the good ramen.’” He laughed,

“Oh- shut up and kiss me again, we’ve waited long enough.”

And so I shut up and kissed him again.

How could I decline that from the beautiful, brilliant, caring boy I held in my arms?