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Morning Musings

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The only thing worse than waking up with the most horrendous hangover of your life, thought Caroline, is waking up with the most horrendous hangover of your life with Sue White draped across you.

She tried to extricate herself from the situation but Sue had a rather firm, unrelenting grasp, even in sleep, so Caroline was forced to lie there.

In bed. With Sue White. With a headache that was far superior to all other headaches in the world, ever, and a definite nausea in the pit of her stomach that was quite possibly going to necessitate throwing up soon.

It could have been worse, she told herself, and then asked herself, how, exactly? Sleeping with anyone, anyone at all, would not have produced the same kind of issues as sleeping with Sue White would. For a start, Sue was –

The word that came to mind was insane, and not even insane in a quirky, oh-she’s-a-bit-mad-but-we-all-love-her sort of way. Sue White was insane in the oh-dear-god-she’s-a-nutcase sort of way. She was unpredictable. And possibly dangerous.

Most people, when they woke up in this sort of situation, would either smile lovingly at the person in bed with them, or panic and run away. And it was, Caroline thought, musing on her own experience, usually not that difficult to predict what they might do, based on the relationship they’d had with the individual prior to the drunken sex. But the trouble with Sue was that it was difficult to even classify that relationship, apart from maybe “scary and weird with a bit more kissing than there normally is between two supposedly heterosexual women”. And it was impossible to predict how she might react.

Her reaction might not even fit into one of the two classic groups of morning-after behaviour. Who knew what Sue might do? Who knew what went on inside that strange head of hers?

And then a more important question came to mind. Had it been good sex? Caroline suspected it might just have been, which made it all even worse. Good sex was so rare, and if a good sex fairy had been brought into her life, in the form of one Sue White, well, she’d feel obliged to hold onto it.

Even if Sue was scary.

And then maybe Sue wouldn’t want to be held, because Sue, judging from the fact that Caroline still couldn’t free herself, was clearly the dominant type. That, at least, wasn’t all that surprising. Maybe Sue would run off and go and have an odd sort of liaison with someone else, and Caroline would be left alone, pining over Sue White.

She groaned, and buried her head in the pillow in the hope that maybe when she woke up again, everything would be all right.