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The Sorting Hat's Underground Adventure

Chapter Text

Third Person POV.

The Sorting Hat was board. Not like that was anything new. It had been a few days since the Sorting and all he could do was collect dust and think about what the next Sorting Song would entail. He laminated on the fact that he never set up a time he could play with Lora’s mind-shields while he could still talk to the girl.

It was then that a House-elf appeared before him.

“Iz Hopez youz don’t mind Mr. Hat, but Perfect Mistress has requested youz.” The little elf spoke as they picked the Hat from the shelf.

“Perfect Mistress?” The Hat never got an answer as the Elf popped away. 

The elf reappeared in front of a very familiar red headed eleven year old, Lora Potter. She smiled as she took the Hat from the elf.

“Thank you~ you did a wonderful job! I KNOW I can count on you in the future.”

“Perfect Mistress can alwayz contz on Iz! Thankz oh Perfect Mistress! Iz doz my bestest!” The elf popped away. 

Lora brought the Sorting Hat up to eye level. “Hello again Mr. Sorting Hat. I hope you weren’t too board waiting on me.”

“Not as board as I could have been. I’m just glad you decided to retrieve me this soon.”

“Of coarse! There is a lot to do if you want to play the whole ‘game’ in my mind. And there are multiple ways to play it. I figured you would want to start as soon as possible in order to get through the whole story line.”

“Yes thank you. Would you mind telling me what you mean by multiple ways to play?”

“Sure! There is the Pacifist route, where you do not kill anyone. The Neutral route where you kill only a few. And the Genocide route, where you kill everything in your path. I personally recommend doing the Pacifist route before you decide on if you want to do any other route. Simply because you both get more story-line and if you start out with Genocide, Sans will remember you in a negative light, no matter what you do after that.”

“Thank you for the advice. Now can I get started?” The Hat asked in clear excitement.

It was sort of amazing how excited a hat could sound, but then again if Undertale was real then perhaps it wouldn’t be the strangest of things. After all in the Underground there ARE talking rocks and snowmen…

Lora smiled and placed the Sorting Hat on her head. 


Sorting Hat’s POV.


I found myself in a familiar flower patch, this time I was alone. It seems as though Lora had not followed me into her mind shields this time. Which is fine, I understand she only did that to help me get to her Mind-room and that since I’m not going there this time I have no need of her help.

I stood up and walked around to get used to having a human body once more.

Once I was sure I was used to it I continued on to the next room. There under a beam of light was Flowey.

“Howdy! I’m Flowey. Flowey the Flower. Hee Hee Hee… Why’d you make me introduce myself? It’s rude to act like you don’t know who I am. Someone ought to teach you proper manners. I guess little old me will have to do.” 

The room blackened and four white walls surrounded us. A small red heart came out of my chest. 

“See that heart? That is your SOUL. the very culmination of your being! Your SOUL starts off weak, but can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV. What’s LV stand for? Why LOVE of course! You want some LOVE don’t you? Don’t worry I’ll share some with you!” Flowey winked. 

Honestly I’m a little freaked out at how friendly this flower is acting compared to when I was here with Lora.

“Down here LOVE is shared through… little white ‘friendliness pellets.’” White bullets formed around Flowey as he said this. “Are you ready? Move around! Get as many as you can!” The bullets slowly came towards me. 

Yea… NOPE! I don’t think I can trust this flower! He’s acting like a Slytherin who wants to use me to further his goals. And I DO NOT like being used beyond my initial purpose of sorting students!

So I dogged.

Flowey seemed irritated.“Hey buddy you missed them. Let’s try again okay?” The bullets reformed and came at me again. I responded the same as the last time, and DODGED! Flowey seemed angry at this, when I succeeded. “Is this a joke? Are you Braindead? RUN! INTO! THE! BULLETS!!!” 

We repeated the same thing one more time. Flowey sent bullets at me and I dodged. Flowey’s face became monstrous. “YoU KnOw WhAt’S GoiNg On HeRe, Don’T YoU? YoU JuSt WaNtEd tO SeE mE sUffEr!”

Bullets surrounded me from all sides, leaving no room to dodge.

 “DIE!” Flowey began to laugh maniacally as the bullets slowly closed in. 

Suddenly the ground shook, causing the bullets to disappear. And a small fireball blasted the evil flower away. Out from the shadows appeared a goat lady.

“What a terrible creature. Torturing such poor innocent youth…. Ah, do not be afraid, my child. I am Toriel keeper of the ruins. I pass through here every day to see if anyone has fallen down. You are the first human to come down here in a long time. Come, I will guide you through the catacombs.” 

With the flower gone so was the black room with white walls. My SOUL had also gone back into my chest. 

I nearly collapsed in relief. Instead I took the goat lady, Toriel, by the hand (Paw?) and followed.

Wow not even ten minutes into the ‘game’ and things were already exciting!

How have I lived all my life without this kind of excitement before?!

All I know, is that I can’t wait to find out what happens next!

Chapter Text

The Sorting Hat was not dumb. Far from it in fact.

But when you spend most of your time on top of a bookshelf collecting dust you don’t get much experience in solving puzzles.

The Sorting Hat was sure that if Toriel was not there to solve the first few puzzles for him, he would have taken HOURS to figure things out.

Again not because of any sort of idiocy, but because he was never designed, or given the opportunity, to solve puzzles beyond sorting students into their proper houses.

He understood how to ACT and give MERCY after Toriel taught him using the Dummy. He understood what the FIGHT and ITEM buttons were after a few trial and error. He also learned how to SAVE, LOAD and RESET.

The Sorting Hat had also unconsciously registered the music that played all the time. He only realized it was there in the first place when things became dead quiet. And honestly after he was done with the ‘game’ much later, he could no longer stand that kind of silence, it put him on edge.

Now the Sorting Hat stared down at the small black box-like idiom in his hands. Apparently it was called a CELL PHONE. 

Talking Flowers, he could understand.

Puzzles, he could get the hang of.

ENCOUNTERS, he would get used to.

But a CELL PHONE seemed beyond him.

He believed his only saving grace were the response option buttons that appeared in front of him when he had to ‘speak’ using the phone. 

Using this the Sorting Hat got permission to call Toriel ‘Mom’. He wasn’t sure what to think of this development and decided to proceed to the next room from where Toriel had left him alone.

*Ring… “Hello This is Toriel. You have not left the room have you? There are a few puzzles ahead that I have yet to explain. It would be dangerous to try to solve them yourself. Be good alright?” Click* The call ended.

The Sorting Hat looked around him in paranoia. ‘ She isn’t watching me from somewhere right? She couldn’t possibly know I’ve left the room… is this how one of the student’s feel when they are about to get caught for breaking the rules?!

He continued on cautiously. 

He got only one piece of candy just like the sign said (He didn’t want to feel any more guilt) before moving on and SAVING. 

The next time Toriel called she asked if he would prefer cinnamon or butterscotch.

He contemplated his answer. ‘ How am I supposed to know!? I’m a HAT! I’ve NEVER eaten ANYTHING before… but now I’m curious if I can with this false human body. Will I be able to taste? I’ll figure it out later cause right now I need to answer her.

He picked butterscotch. 

Only to get another call not thirty seconds later asking if he wouldn’t mind cinnamon.

I wouldn’t know. Please stop asking me these things.

He was super proud of himself when he figured out that all he needed to do to solve his first puzzle on his own was to move a rock onto a platform.

After he got across his first solved puzzle he got ANOTHER call. This time asking if he had any allergies.

If he could he would have thrown the CELL PHONE in frustration. ‘ I’M A HAT! WHAT IN THE MULTIVERSE WOULD I BE ALLERGIC TO?!

The thatched floor puzzle soon came into play after that. The Hat believed he felt true terror the first time he fell on that puzzle. However he WAS getting the hang of puzzles. As such it only took him three tires to get it right.

OH look another put the rock on the platform puzzle! Except this time there are three rocks! You know if I were an actuarial invader I would be increasingly frustrated with these puzzles in my way… good thing I’m doing this for fun then!

He got to pushing all the rocks onto their respective platforms when 

“WHOA there partner! Who said you could push me around?”

A talking rock? Sure hope there aren't any other talking hats around here. I might have to eat myself then …’

“Hmm? You’re asking me to move over? Okay, Just for you pumpkin.” The rock moved a few inches, bet not enough to get to the platform.

“Hmm? You want me to move some more? Allrighty, how’s this?” The rock moved the wrong way.

I’d prefer if you just went to the platform you grating stone!

“Hmm? That was the wrong direction? Okay, think I got it.” The rock moved to the platform causing the spikes to vanish into the ground.

FINALLY now we’re getting places! ’ Sort (short for Shorting Hat) started to leave, when the rock moved AGAIN!

Frustrated He went back to the rock.

“Hmm? You wanted me to STAY there? You’re giving me a real workout.”

Like I care!

And off Sort went, to the next room that had a SAVE POINT and some cheese. ‘ I want to see the mouse now...but it looks like it won’t come out of the hole… oh well. ’ 

Next Sort met a ghost. At first he was confused.

This doesn't look like any ghost I’ve seen…

“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz” The ghost kept repeating the letter z over and over.

Is he supposed to be sleeping? I don’t think that’s how it works …’

Soon the Hat was in an ENCOUNTER with the ghost who he learned was named Napstablook.

So far in ENCOUNTERS Sort had been lucky enough to not be hit. That all changed when Napstablook started crying and the tear attacks overwhelmed him.

That was the first time in his existence the Sorting Hat felt pain. He didn’t like it.

He used one of his turns to gain HP through eating the candy.

That had been the first time he tasted anything. It was a strange sensation, but he didn’t mind it.

Eventually he was able to cheer up Napstablook, and hoped to be his friend, but the ghost left before he could ask.

He used the G he had collected to buy a spider doughnut. He couldn't wait to taste it, but kept it in his inventory for when he would need it.

Several more puzzles later and he arrived in a room with a large black tree with red leaves scattered around it’s base.

Toriel came into the room but didn’t immediately notice him.

“Oh dear. That took longer than I thought it would.” She came further into the room and was about to call him on the phone when she finally noticed him.

“How did you get here, my child? Are you hurt? There, there. I will heal you. I should not have left you alone for so long. It was irresponsible to try and surprise you like this. Err… Well I suppose I cannot hide it any longer. Come small one.”

She is so kind… what was she trying to surprise me with? ’ Sort followed Toriel into a small house in the Ruins.

“Do you smell that? Surprise! It is a Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie! I thought we might celebrate your arrival. I want you to have a nice time living here. So I will hold off on the escargot pie for now. Come I have another surprise for you!”

Well I fingered she was making SOMETHING with Butterscotch and Cinnamon. But what did she say about snail pie? Are snails even edible? What do I know? I’m a HAT. Maybe Snails are where humans get their needed protein .’ He thought as he followed Toriel to a doorway.

“This is it… A room of your own! I hope you like it.” She rubbed the top of his head, effectively squishing his ‘real’ hat body.

“Is something burning...? Um… make yourself at home!” She ran off leaving Sort to settle in.

Sort went into the room and laid down in the bed thinking.

Is this what it’s like to have a mom? I like it. But I feel like I’ve been missing out on my centuries worth of existence. Maybe I can stay here a little longer… ’ And he drifted off to sleep.