I can't dream, I don't think I have a reason to. What can I dream? Possibly something boring or possibly something weird or interesting.
Nightmares are the only place I visit in my sleep, waking up to a dark bathroom, hearing strange music in the other room, only to open the door and see three animal masks with human bodies.
Don-Juan, a female wearing a grey horse mask, sitting underneath a blue light. Pity.
R̵͖͖͐i̸̥͎͊̚c̵̺h̵̼̘a̴͖͠ṟ̸͑d̶͈͗̇, a male wearing a similar rooster mask as me, but more lifelike, sitting underneath a yellow light. Judge.
Rasmus, another male wearing an owl mask, and also wearing similar clothing as a Russian mobster, sitting underneath a red light. Anger.
Each have their own personality and questions.
I thought I wouldn't see them again, I thought I've escaped my own questions of torture, but I guess I'm still trapped.
Stuck in my own limbo.
Did he write down the questions, how? I don't know, all I can do is answer and wait for the words to appear.
Where are you right now?
Can you trust them?
It depends, but for now, yes
Do you remember what happened on December 20, 1991?
I was in a jail cell and there was an explo̶͈̟̭̯̖̘̤͘ş̵̫̠̩͙͇̣͋ĩ̴͉̟̼̙͔̎̓̏̃̿̕͝o̵̧̲̝̥̖͔͋͊͑̅͘n̸͔͙͉͠
Wrong, maybe we need to refresh your memory again, luckily it will be a short one, but not now.
W̷̨̐ë̷̜̳́͝'̶̺̈̊v̴̂͒͜e̶̢̲̓͝ ̵̥̭̈́ḿ̷̠͎i̶͉͐s̷̛̞̐͜s̸̖͎͌ē̸͚̳ḑ̴̮̊ ̷̭͝y̶̡̦̎͠ó̸͕u̶̯͔͐ ̵̝̩̂a̴͙͓̿n̶̢̪̕d̷̼̀ ̶̪̲̓w̴̲̙͆̀ĕ̴̩'̸͔̮̏͝r̵̞͊ͅe̵̗̐̓ ̴͉̬͋d̴̦̗̂y̴̮̦͒i̶̜͘n̵̠͑̑g̸̥̪̑ ̸̳̔̏t̸̳̯̕o̵̱̍ ̶̺̻̂́ŝ̸̟̣̈́e̴̤̕ͅe̸̹͂ ̴̤ͅy̷͇̰̌́o̷̗̜͌͝ù̴̻ ̴̟̔ḁ̵̧̊ḡ̶̨a̷̖͝ī̴̛͎n̶̖̺͗.̸̧̓
I can't erase them, they keep coming back.
It's only him writing, not the other two.
I'm not well.
Yet I don't know what's wrong with me.
Is it normal for blood to be colored pink? Why is it beautiful.
I see through the television, my own vision being filled with static then slowly fading away, but the sound is still there.
My head hurts.
I can still feel the bullet, yet it went through my brain.
T̶̼̏h̴̳͊͑e̷̩͒ ̷̖̙͌̈ḟ̴̮̤u̶̔͜c̵̝̯̏k̷̯͑̕i̴͔̐̒n̵̞̝͆̐g̶̘̎ ̶̯̿r̸̺͇͊a̸͉̿͋t̶̟͚͝ ̵̲̦͐s̷̪͒h̶̫̃͒o̴̺͝ü̶͇l̸̘͖̂̚d̴̜̓ ̸̖̚b̶̥̀e̵̠̤̍ ̵̱̳͂f̸̩̖̏͝u̵̳̎c̸͖͊̆k̶̡̯͌̉i̷̳̅̕n̸̝̭͑g̵̹͕̉̓ ̶̛̰̣ṕ̸̨͝ō̵͇i̵̲͂̈s̷̆̓͜ǫ̵̲̂͌n̸͙̼̏ȩ̷̘̓d̴̙̽,̶̮̆ ̷̼̊b̴͉̌̕ë̵͍̼́á̷͖̹ẗ̵̢̲́̑ḙ̵̱̕n̸̬̼͋̊,̵̻͘ ̸̬̭̓͌s̶̗̐l̷̠̘̅̿a̶͕̅u̵̼͋͐g̷͓̥̐͝h̶̛͈͋t̵͎͠͝e̶͍̜͋͝r̸̥̖̃ę̶̬̽d̸͈̋͝,̵̰͋͘ ̸̨͘Í̶̩ ̴̟̻̈́s̷͖̉̏p̴̢̖͂̊ả̸͔͜r̶̟͖̽͝e̸͕͔̒d̸̠̓̾ ̸̦̽h̴̡̩͂i̷̳͕͑͆m̴͕̍ ̷͔̏o̴͍͙̿ñ̴͇c̶͇̎ę̸̩̉ ̶̼͆I̴̠̽̑'̷͕͌́l̵͚͎̄l̴̢͓̈́ ̵̪͛́n̵̙͕̐̌ē̴͙̹v̵̳̦͆ḙ̷͖̆̌r̸͖͇̎ ̶͙̅͠d̷̬̩̓o̸̲͇̕͝ ̵̲͂i̵̩̤̍ṱ̸̡̒ ̷̱͕̀͠a̵̛̙g̸̠̯̐̔ả̴̢ḯ̷̱̳n̶̼̾̊ ̶̼̼͊ḯ̵͍̤f̷̟̙̅̈ ̵̳̫̍I̶͇͚̋͘ ̵͍̲͛s̸͙̲͊ȇ̷̜̎ẻ̸̠̊t̴͙̒͒ḩ̵̞̀͠e̵͙̲̒̐f̴͇̈́͝ǘ̴̪c̶͕̱͛̾k̴͙͎̈́̕i̶͙̿͠n̸̻̩̍̓ǵ̸̠r̶͎͌a̷̙̓t̴͖͆ṱ̶̬̏h̷̜̠̄ȧ̶̦͠ţ̸͖̐k̷̠͖̊i̵̹̙͋l̴̫͋͗l̵̘͉̚ḗ̸͖d̸̡̫͗h̶̙̾e̶̡̞̎r̷̖͎̚
'Sokol' complaining about the tiny goal to 'Dragan' again, I think we have enough to get a bigger hockey goal for him.
Why does 'Dragan' work out in a suit? he'll have issues with sweaty pits on his white button-up. I would work out too, but I don't think I can while 'Sokol' watches, it doesn't feel right...yet weird.
I think 'Dallas' is setting up a bank heist for me, to prove if I'm worth it on the group.
Simple bank robbery, steal as much as we can, get out. Simple. Maybe. Maybe I've been watching too many movies that have simple bank robberies in them, same with the news in the '80s...
Maybe something new, I've kind of seen 'Wolf' tech work, accidentally took the wrong stairs somehow and ended up where 'Wolf' room or station is. He has pieces of a turret he's working on and a drill that seems to be ready to use. Yet I've been told the drills we have kept breaking down time to time, so we'll either be lucky if the drill doesn't break on us.
It's best to keep distancing myself from the other heisters. It's better that way. I'm afraid. That I'll mess up again and they'll die because of me. I don't know if their listening or know where I am, but it's best to keep a distance and don't fuck up.
I think they're making up stories about me, how I came to be. "A sociopath that just wants to satisfy their blood lust" "someone with mental issues" "just a psycho, how can we trust him?" "A mute freak that follows orders from a fucking phone"
I mean, their getting close, some aren't that close.
They don't know the whole story and its best that they only know my work then the story I have.
I highly doubt that if I tell them, they'll think I'm lying and just created a pity story.
I think I hear 'Wolf' coming, I mean he sometimes whistles or does little howls when he's getting close to my room.
He still smiles at me...
Why is he happy to see me..?
What did I do?
I need to hide this journal. Now.
'Wolf' saw this journal on my workbench, I can tell he's curious of what I write down.
Maybe I can tear out the pages.
No. It will make me look suspicious. Make them lose a bit of trust in me.
Just need a hiding spot.
The boxes may do, but I heard the rooms are being upgraded, so I might have to unload some of the boxes and throw them away. I might keep some to hold my games and cassettes.
Couch Cushions? another maybe, I don't know if I'll get a new one or I'm staying with the small one. Though I don't mind keeping the one I already have, I think I've gotten used to sleeping on the couch. Plus, no one comes into my room and just talk to me, maybe 'Wolf'(only when he's bored or if he wants to play some games).
Couch cushions it is. I can easily remove the cushion parts to clean the inside of the couch. Hopefully, I don't bend this journal, just add in more damages on the cover and paper.
Wait, why did 'Wolf' come to me?
Group meet and plan at 2 PM.
I need to make sure to get there on time since we're planning my first heist.
Don't fuck it up. Listen and follow orders. Be useful.
'Sokol' is complaining again and 'Dragan' is getting even more sweaty in his suit.
Good thing they didn't force me to wear one...