Kat never thought she was the marrying type. Hell, she didn’t even think she was the relationship type. Her only relationships had been with Adena, and the first time she was barely able to make it last 3 months. This, the second time around. Was better. Way better.
It was a miracle they had managed to patch things up eventually. But they did. It wasn’t easy. But they did. Mostly Kat eventually grew up, realized no matter how much she told everyone and herself that she only wanted chill, no strings attached relationships, the truth was she was only afraid of the work necessary to make things work, of the vulnerability.
Most of all she was afraid of admitting she had messed up with Adena, not once, but several times. She was afraid of trying and failing again. But even then, after years of being together again, of reaching milestones together. Of building back their love brick by brick on a stronger foundation and reinforcing it every day until the ghosts of their doubts, of their past mistakes, disappeared completely. They never talked about marriage.
Sutton had been married for years now. Jane eventually got there too. Kat and Adena moved in together, spent every morning waking up in each other’s arms. Walked hand in hand through the busy streets of Manhattan stopping every other block for Adena to photograph whatever caught their eye. They traveled the world together, and apart, now with the certainty of a home built together. Not one time did Kat think a wedding was on their plans.
That goes to show how there are always new things you can learn about each other. Also, it reminded Kat that she should never assume. It was the longing and pensive mood that overtook Adena after a call with her mom what started to tip Kat off.
Kat loved hearing Adena speak in Farsi, but it had the disadvantage of not allowing her to overhead anything that could clue her into why that call, in particular, had changed Adena’s mood. Thankfully by that point in their relationship Kat had gotten better about asking, and actually realizing something was up, and Adena had gotten better about sharing what bothered her.
“It’s nothing. One of my cousins it’s getting married and it made me sentimental.”
Kat nodded in understanding, although inside she was confused. Adena and her had been invited to several weddings. Sutton and Jane’s included. Adena had never gotten sentimental about those. Or used them to talk about her own marriage expectations. It really seemed like something important so Kat didn’t brush the serious topic aside, another thing she had learned over the years, and actually asked again.
“It’s different. American weddings don’t make me as sentimental. But it’s been a while since anyone in my family got married. It brought up feelings I had not paid attention to in a while.”
“I didn’t know you had strong opinions about weddings”
“It’s complicated,” Adena said. Getting up from the couch where they had both been sitting to walk to the kitchen of their studio apartment. “When I was a teenager I hated the idea of getting married. Of signing your life away to someone else. That was what it felt like at the time. But after I realized I was gay, I discovered it was the concept of marrying a man what I was against.”
Adena kept talking while setting up their teapot on the stove. Probably as a way to elude looking at Kat. This was obviously a topic that was hitting Adena hard, and Kat could only sit silently, giving her the space she needed.
“I admit I can be a little intense when I date someone. So after my first relationship with a woman I did have this elaborate wedding planned in my head. With all the over the top celebrations and traditions. Even if I knew it wasn’t possible I liked to dream about it. With time I got over that though, realized a wedding or not, doesn’t really change anything. But I sometimes mourn for what I can’t have.”
Kat looked at Adena for a minute. Basking in her beautiful face, the warmth of her eyes, the sudden sadness of her voice. The more she looked at her, the more a small thought started growing in her mind. Most people would think of it as impulsive. As impulsive as you asking the women you’ve been with for five years to marry you can be. But it wasn’t.
There were two things Kat was sure of when it came to her love life. One was that Adena was the only person in the world she wanted to be in a relationship with, and the second was that she never intended to let go of Adena ever again. Been there, done that. Never again.
“Who says you can’t have it,” Kat said. Standing now too from the place on the couch from where she was looking at Adena and walking towards her.
“Well, even if I find someone to marry me. Iran it’s not exactly known for their same-sex weddings.”
“Well, the first problem it’s solved. I want to marry you,” Kat saw Adena’s eyebrows raise but the other woman didn’t question her. At least not for now. Maybe the fact that Kat said it with as much security as she could muster, helped.
“Now, the Iran stuff it’s harder to fix. We can’t have a wedding there for sure. But we can try to make it as close as possible. We can fly your parents and anyone from your family and friends that want to come here. Or any other place that it’s easier for them.”
“So not only are you asking me to marry you, but you are saying we are having a destination wedding.”
“Yeah, I guess that about sums it up.”
“That’s really sweet Kat,” Adena said while moving her hand to cup Kat’s face. “But you’ve never shown any interest in getting married. It’s fine. You don’t have to do this just because I’m sensitive.”
“I never talked about it because I always assumed you didn’t want a wedding. That’s my mistake. I already know I want to spend my whole life with you. This may not be a classic proposal, but I want to marry you. Do you want to marry me?”
Kat could tell she had made a good choice the moment Adena’s face light up. She giggled and kissed her before finally answering.
Now, looking at Adena walking towards her in the most beautiful dress Kat had ever seen, she has more sure than ever she had made the right choice. Kat could feel the tears starting to sting her eyes and she let them fall freely.
It had been a long road, but now there were only a few steps separating Adena from Kat and life together.