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The Past

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1. Their sixth date.

Six full dates, over a month and a half felt good for Marissa. They were getting closer, on an emotional level which made her giddy. It didn't hurt matters that they were at a point where Marissa usually got a kiss at the end of the night, whether they went on a date or not. And if they weren't in any particular hurry, she got a little more than a kiss. It made her feel like she was on top of the world, the way Bianca would smile at her made her stomach flutter and her heart pound. When Bianca would kiss her, she felt her mind go blank and her knees buckle on more than one occasion. And based on her reactions, Bianca felt it exactly the same. She'd think of the woman and smile for crying out loud. The silly grin had garnered more than a few raised eyebrows from JR, Krystal and even David that night she had dinner with him.

"There it is again!" JR exclaimed. She blinked looking over at him,

"What?" she asked slowly.

"That goofy, I'm a love-sick teenager grin." he said crossing his arms over his chest. Marissa scoffed,

"There is no such thing on my face." she said. They were waiting for AJ to come downstairs so they could give their honest opinions on his outfit for the play he was in.

"There really is," Annie said from her spot on the opposite side of JR. That had been one shock in her life. When Annie and JR had gotten back together but oddly, they worked and she saw it now. They were happy. JR kept the psycho at bay and she kept his shallow tendencies under wraps.

"Fine, there's someone." she said. Her lips started to spread when she started thinking of Bianca and only widened when AJ ran down the stairs,

"What do you think?" he asked turning.

"Well you're definitely the most handsome tree I've ever seen, right?" JR asked. The two women nodded affirmative,

"Never a more handsome one in the world." Marissa said seriously.

"Good!" AJ said running back up the stairs. It amazed Marissa, he'd pouted over this when he could've just sent a picture. But on another level, it amazed her she was more than happy to be there just because of the silly grin he wore.

"Well I," she gathered her purse, "Need to get going." she said finally.

"What? That's all we get? 'There's someone' then you're gone?" JR asked his eyebrows raised. Marissa smiled innocently,

"Yep." she said leaving.

"So, I was thinking," she said easing into Bianca's bed behind her later that night.

"Hm?" Bianca asked not looking away from the book she was reading. She was laying on her side, facing away from Marissa, but this was nothing new.

"About our relationship." Marissa said. Bianca blinked and closed her book,

"Our relationship?" she repeated turning to face Marissa. Marissa bit her lip, suddenly half afraid,

"Well, yes. I mean, I know nothing is official but I just thou-"

"It's fine, Marissa." Bianca looked about ready to laugh. "You know, I can see where AJ gets that guilty yet sheepish look from now." she said. Marissa pouted and Bianca leaned up to kiss the pout away,

"Anyway, we've been dating for a while now, right?"

"Over a month."

"And we're not seeing anyone else, right?" Marissa asked.

"Correct."

"So...what do you say about being exclusive?" she asked. Bianca blinked,

"Well.." she said sitting up and pulling away a little, "Do we really need too?" she asked slowly. Marissa furrowed her brow,

"We don't need too but it would be nice, don't you think?" she asked sitting up as well. Bianca bit her bottom lip,

"It would but..this is still pretty new, isn't it? Shouldn't we be more sure before we start including everyone?" she asked. Marissa eyed her,

"You don't want to tell anyone, do you?" Marissa asked. Bianca didn't answer. "I- wow." she said stumped, "Are you ashamed?" she asked almost angrily but mostly just hurt.

"God no! I could never be ashamed of you but I just think it would be best if we just kept us between...us right now." she said. Marissa scoffed,

"Right, fine. We can do that." she said sitting up, "I'm gonna go." she said.

"Marissa, I didn't mean to upset you." she whispered. Marissa shook her head,

"I know." she said pausing at the door and turning back to Bianca, walking and kneeling in front of her, "I'm not them." she said leaning up to kiss Bianca's forehead, "I'll call you when I get home." she said leaving. Bianca sighed as she left, throwing herself back onto her pillows; damn fear.


2. After six months of dating

It'd been a dumb choice, she knew that. Which was why she didn't understand why she did it. Why in the hell had she laid in bed with Maggie that day she would forever wonder. It'd been innocent enough, Bianca mused, they'd only been napping but Marissa hadn't been happy to see that. Especially with Maggie spooned into Bianca's back in a way that Marissa had declared 'their way'. She'd felt like the world's biggest asshole for sharing a bed with her ex. Then when she realized this was possibly the same scenario she'd caught Annie and JR in so long ago, she'd felt like an even bigger ass. Of course she was sure Marissa knew on some level that nothing had happened but if you walk in and see your girlfriend in bed with anyone else, you're going to gt angry. She knew that first hand.

"Marissa...I'm sorry...so sorry. Please call me." she said leaving her fifth message of the night. She stared at her phone with a tired sigh, "I'm sorry." she whispered again.


3. Three months after that

It hadn't take long for Marissa to forgive Bianca and apologize herself for freaking out the way she did. She'd explained that she was somewhat intimidated by Bianca's past, Maggie especially. They'd been the great love, one of the greatest loves she'd heard of in a while. And yes, she was woman enough to admit she was a little jealous of a ghost. Well, what she considered a ghost. What they'd shared wasn't something she could ever compete with, although Bianca told her she didn't have too. Which was why now, three months later, they were carrying on, still in secret to her annoyance, but happy. As happy as she could possibly imagine them to be. Especially since they'd been together almost a year and she was sure Bianca felt they wouldn't last that long.

"You really think mom will like it, Ms. Marissa?" she heard. Glancing down, she grinned at Miranda,

"She'll love it sweetie. Mostly cos you're an awesome little cook." she said. Miranda grinned at her,

"And you're gonna help, right?" she asked excitedly. Marissa laughed.

"Well, if you need a kitchen helper, I'll be more than happy to help you out." she said. "C'mon, we need to be getting back, your mom will be off of work soon." she said. Miranda nodded, helping Marissa push the cart so they could pay and head back. Another thing that Marissa loved about being with Bianca was the girls. She adored those cute little angels like she'd always known them. It helped that they thought she was some kind of rock-star(Miranda had said so) too. "Alright, short stuff. Lets get al-"

"What are you doing? Where were you?" Bianca shrieked when they got out. Marissa jumped turning around to face her,

"What? Bia-"

"Marissa what were you thinking? Not telling me you wanted to take Miranda out?" she asked frantically kneeling in front of Miranda, "Are you okay baby? Are you sleepy? Hungry?" Bianca asked.

"Yeah! Ms. Marissa took me to the store to get stuff for my project." Miranda said. Bianca nodded,

"Go in the house, Mimo." she said. Miranda tilted her head, looking at Marissa confused who shrugged, before she finally went in the house.

"Bianca, what's wrong baby?" Marissa asked moving to her. Bianca moved away,

"You can't...just take her out without telling me, Marissa." Bianca said softly. Marissa looked taken aback,

"It was just for a few minutes, Bianca." she defended.

"A few minutes that I didn't know where she was...that the sitter didn't know." Bianca said meeting her eyes. There was a pained storm happening in them and Marissa wanted to kill whoever had caused it.

"Bia-"

"For nine months, I didn't have her. She...just ask me, Marissa. You love them, I know but ask me." she said going back inside. Marissa stood, dumbfounded. She and Miranda never got to make that meal because Bianca didn't speak to her for a week.


4. Marissa's ex-girlfriend

Things between them weren't the same after that day. Marissa still didn't exactly know what was going on but everyone around her seemed too. Especially Krystal and David but every time David tried to tell her, something came up and Krystal just wasn't speaking about it. JR couldn't even fill her in, citing that when Bianca was ready she'd tell her. She tried to be patient, but she couldn't fix things unless she knew what was broken. She loved Bianca, she was sure of it even though she'd never said so out loud. And she wanted to be with her, but it was looking like things would never be the same. Their one year anniversary had come and gone and still, things were strained, Marissa couldn't even be alone with the kids anymore. And while that hurt her, it hurt her more to feel that Bianca trusted Marissa but someone else was keeping her from doing so consciously.

"Marissa? Marissa Tasker?" she heard. She glanced up, her eyebrows furrowed before they widened,

"Alyssa." she said a smile gracing her features. "My God how have you been?" she asked moving into hug her. Alyssa laughed,

"Not as good as you are obviously," she said looking Marissa up and down appreciatively. "You look good, Marissa. Really good." she said. Marissa chuckled,

"Thank you. So do you actually." she said seriously. Alyssa shrugged,

"Can I sit?" she asked pointing to the stool beside Marissa. She nodded,

"Yes, please. What are you doing here in Pine Valley?" she asked excitedly.

"Just passing through actually, on my way to New York but heard about this little town with more drama than a teen movie so I decided to see what was going on here." she said looking around.

"Well, drama this town definitely has." Marissa chuckled. Alyssa smiled at her, shaking her head,

"So, tell me what's been going on with you?" she asked. Marissa lit up.

That's how they'd ended up talking for hours on end and hanging out every day for three weeks straight. She hadn't seen much of Bianca and while it did disappoint her a little, not enough to cancel any plans with Alyssa. Which was probably why it felt natural to ask Alyssa to a fundraiser event. She'd already heard Bianca say something about going with Kendall or something along those lines,

"Hey you!" Bianca exclaimed walking into Fusion. Marissa smiled,

"Hey, I just wanted to ask you a quick question," she said leaning up to kiss her quickly. Bianca nodded for her to go ahead and ask, "Are you still going with Kendall to the event tonight?" she asked. Bianca furrowed her brow,

"Marissa, I was never going with Kendall. Griffin is taking her." she said slowly. Marissa frowned,

"Really? I could have sworn I heard you say you were going with her." she said. Bianca shook her head

"No. I was actually going to ask you yesterday but we both got all busy." she said smiling a little. Marissa bit her lip, "What?" Bianca asked.

"Actually, I was going to go with Alyssa." she said softly. Bianca's smile dimmed but didn't fade,

"Oh! Well...alright." she said awkwardly. "In that case, I'll make sure I see you there." she said kissing Marissa's cheek.

"I can ca-"

"No, its fine. Have fun." Bianca smiled at her. Marissa looked hopeful,

"And you wont be mad?"

"Of course not! Go, have fun. I'll see you tonight." she said. "I know what it's like to have an old friend reappear, you just get so used to them." she chuckled.

"She's my ex actually..." Marissa clarified. She wanted to be upfront and honest with Bianca. Bianca pursed her lips a little and nodded,

"Well, either way, I think you should have fun." she said.

"Bia-"

"I should get to work." Bianca said and she was gone. Marissa looked after her, pinching the bridge of her nose. Things weren't getting better.


5. On a Saturday

Saturday. That was the day their relationship changed and Marissa could admit she hadn't seen it coming. For months, they'd danced around each other, seeming more and more like friends and it had terrified her. She didn't want to lose Bianca, actually, she was pretty sure it would break something inside her if she did, but that seemed to be the direction she was going. They'd have dinner together and she'd look across the table and see that same fear reflected back in Bianca's eyes. But for some reason, it all changed on a Saturday.

Marissa had decided she wanted to spend the day with Bianca, she missed her and the best way to cure that, was to salvage them. Even if Bianca was too afraid to work with her, she'd wear her down. She'd done it before and wouldn't hesitate to do it again. Which was why she arrived at Bianca's with a goal in mind; save her relationship and be happy. When she arrived, Bianca answered the door obviously pleasantly surprised to see Marissa and let her in immediately,

"We should talk, Bianca." she said. Bianca nodded,

"You're right. We do." she said as she shut the door softly. "Did you want to start or should I?" she asked. Marissa frowned,

"This isn't a meeting. It doesn't matter which of us starts." she said. Bianca nodded,

"I just think that it's possible we're on two different pages s-"

"We haven't been the same and I want to know why." Marissa said simply cutting her off.

"I'm not sure what JR told you when you first arrived in town..." she said. Marissa shook her head,

"Not much. So tell me, Bianca. Tell me what I'm missing so we can move forward and be happy." she said. Bianca sat beside her and told her everything.

She held Bianca as she cried. She cried for Miranda, she cried for allowing her fears and insecurities get in between them, she cried for not trusting Marissa. Marissa, she cried too. She cried for all the pain Bianca had to feel, she cried because she wanted to make Bianca happy so bad it literally hurt her. She cried because she finally, finally, had Bianca Montgomery. They cried together, because they were finally on the same page. That night, when Bianca was sleeping in Marissa's arms for the first time in what had to have been a lifetime, Marissa sent a prayer up to God. She needed him to guide her, guide them. That night, she also cursed everyone who'd ever hurt her love and vowed then and there to make it better. She wasn't going to lose Bianca, for any reason.