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Gravesen

Chapter 41: Excelsior

Notes:

Wow. Just wow. I can't even find the words to explain what the journey of creating and publishing this story has meant to me. It started as a completely self-indulgent story that I doubted many other people would read. It turns out medical hurt/comfort isn't as niche an interest as I initially thought it was, and boy am I glad that's the case. Often the highlight of my day was looking through and replying to the wonderful comments you all left after the latest chapter. Some of you seem just as excited about this alternate universe as I am, and that's saying something considering I think about this piece most hours of the day.

To everyone who was there every chapter letting me know their thoughts, to those who only occasionally dropped a comment, and to those who read along silently, THANK YOU. It brings me so much joy to know that my story became a part, however small, of your life. Now, please join me in the fluff-tastic conclusion (well, sort of) of this Gravesen Chronicle :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Tony received a text from Bruce that he never expected to receive: "Hey Tony. I wanted to tell you this before anyone else. I'm getting discharged tomorrow. Thank you for being a great friend, and I hope we can keep in touch."

Bruce was thanking him? If anything, Tony should be the one pouring out gratitude for his friend. Bruce had been there for him unfailingly even though he had no obligation to be. Of course Tony wanted to keep in touch with him; he dreaded the idea of growing apart from everyone here as they healed and moved on with their lives. He was leagues closer to the friends he'd made here than anyone he knew from his high school or from meeting the kids of his father's associates. In fact, a small part of him didn't ever want to leave.

Tony offered to help Bruce pack. The boy tried to fend him off, but Tony insisted. That afternoon he slung his VAD backpack over his shoulder and followed Bruce's instructions on where to put the little things that had accumulated in the room over the duration of his stay at Gravesen.

"Don't you dare lift anything heavier than you're allowed to," Bruce warned him.

"Relax. Your well-worn paperback copy of the Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde clocks in at well below five to eight pounds," Tony chuckled, placing the indicated book in a box.

"I should definitely be trying harder to stop you from performing physical labor, but I could use the help."

"Even with the restrictions I'm twice as useful as Bucky," Tony pointed out. He waved both hands to underline his point.

"That's not nice," Bruce chided, though Tony could tell he stifled a laugh.

"Bucky would have made that joke himself."

"He's allowed to. Self-deprecating humor is one thing, but when you say it about him it's just bullying."

"Okay. Do you want me to go apologize to him for a comment he didn't even hear me make?" he asked half-jokingly.

"No. Just don't do it again."

"Alright. Bruce, has anyone ever told you you're the nicest person they've ever met? Because I doubt I'm the first to do so."

"As a matter of fact, you are the first."

"Really?" Tony didn't believe it. He'd known Bruce for weeks now, and nothing about his personality stood out more than his selflessness and compassion for other people. Was that a persona he only adopted in this hospital, or was he so universally ignored by his peers elsewhere that nobody took the time to see it? Tony took a quick break from moving books into boxes to set his phone to remind him every week to text Bruce to check in and ensure he didn't forget that he had friends who valued and cared about him. He knew this stint came on the heels of Bruce's second suicide attempt, and Tony would never forgive himself if there was a third.

"Yeah, really," Bruce confirmed. He glanced up at Tony and the textbook he'd picked up to pack next. "Hey, put that down!"

Tony acquiesced, though he doubted the book actually exceeded his post-surgical lifting limit. If he hadn't listened, Bruce would have wrested it from his hands. The more important question was why Bruce kept a nuclear physics textbook in his hospital room, so he asked, "Is this pleasure reading, or are you enrolled in an education system beyond the Ancient One's teachings?"

"Says the guy who reads the diary of Leonardo da Vinci," Bruce retorted.

"I'll allow that." Tony smirked. A Bruce who made fun of him was leaps and bounds ahead of the shell of a person he'd met upon arriving here. This Bruce possessed enough confidence in his own decision-making ability to break a promise in order to do what he knew was the right thing. Tony wasn't sure he himself would have the confidence to do that if he ever found himself in a similar situation. "Nuclear physics, huh?"

"Yeah. It's interesting," Bruce explained, putting the book in a box and pointing Tony to a pile of much lighter volumes.

"I've always been more of an engineering kinda guy."

"The world needs both."

"I guess so. Just promise me you won't go on to design bombs for us to drop on other countries. My father does enough of that as it is."

"I don't plan on entering that line of work," Bruce stated. "I'm hoping to do something more practical."

"Good."

"How—how are things with your dad?" he asked hesitantly. "After that whole fiasco with Natasha, you didn't really mention him."

Tony realized Bruce hadn't been there when he shared the whole 'dead brother' revelation. "Things are different," he began, and then went on to explain the whole situation with Arno. Bruce was so engrossed in listening to him that he stopped packing all together. When Tony finished, he blinked as slowly as a person could blink before stammering out a response.

"That's…not what I expected to hear."

"Me neither, believe me."

"I just never stopped worrying about you after you told me so casually that your dad looks at you like you don't deserve to be alive."

"Bruce, I'm sorry I laid that on you. I was so used to it I didn't stop to think about how bad it might seem to someone from a different family. And now I understand that he only acted the way he did because I was a reminder of the son he lost. It's forgivable."

"If you say so." Bruce shrugged and got back to work. They packed in silence for a few minutes, until they were interrupted by Natasha.

"Steve says it is time to adjust gauntlet," she said, bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement.

"Okay. Tell him we'll be right there," Bruce replied. Natasha nodded and darted off, dragging an IV pole with her.

"Didn't she just finish chemo like an hour ago?" Tony asked.

"I think so."

"And she's out and about? Honestly, the resilience of that girl is terrifying."

"No kidding."

They set off for the common room, where everyone was gathered to celebrate Bruce's discharge. A person leaving the hospital was just about the only joyous occasion they had to celebrate. Since the last patient to leave had been un-celebratable because it was paired with such a tragedy, everyone was that much more excited for this time around.

"Bruce!" Steve called eagerly as they approached.

"You must...do the honors," Thor told him, gesturing to the gauntlet on the wall.

"Oh, alright." Bruce stepped shyly forwards and pulled off one of the Xs with a satisfying rip of Velcro. He moved power, space, and reality back from Thanatos's column to his own, but left mind where it stood. "I'm not sure I'm ready for that one yet," he explained. "Honestly, I'm not sure I'll ever be fully there. This isn't something I can ever truly escape from, only something I can prosper in spite of."

"Well said," Parker remarked.

"How about this then?" Thor grabbed the X in the mind column and placed it on the line between Thanatos and self.

Bruce smiled. "I like that."

"I think I speak for all of us when I say I'm going to miss you," Steve began, his tone clearly indicating a whole speech was imminent. "Your constancy kept us sane, and we could always rely on you to be the voice of reason. Though we will certainly be worse off without you here, nothing could make us happier than knowing that you are well enough to be free of this place."

"Now get out your phone," Parker instructed. "Everyone else too, so we can see it happen." Tony grabbed his phone and opened the Gravesen group chat. Everyone crowded around Bruce to watch as he opened the chat information and scrolled down to the stark red letters that read, "Leave this Conversation."

"I can't believe this is really happening," he whispered as his thumb hovered over the button. He tapped it, and Tony glanced at his own phone to see "Bruce Banner left the conversation" pop up in little gray letters. For something so miniscule, it felt important, seeing this proof that Bruce was no longer sick enough to be one of them.

"Consider yourself officially risen from the Grave," Nick chimed in.

"Well, there's still some paperwork to finalize before it's official, but okay."

Many hugs were exchanged, some people whispering more personal goodbyes in Bruce's ear. After they broke up the meeting, Bruce dragged Tony back to his room. He assumed it was to continue packing, but Bruce apparently had something else in mind. "We're taking my daily walk," he explained. Tony followed on the route that had grown familiar to him, too, over the times he'd tagged along in the past. Bruce didn't keep the same regimented pace, instead lingering over certain sights as if trying to memorize them before he left—hopefully forever. When they paused in front of the NICU window, Tony broached a topic he'd been afraid to mention in all the positivity around his discharge.

"Are you scared?"

"Terrified," Bruce replied.

"Of what?"

"Well, it's going to be a major adjustment period. You know how closely I stick to a routine here, I'm going to have to devise an entirely new routine at home."

"That would be daunting for any of us. I don't know when I'll be out of here, but I'll tell you right now that I barely remember how to live a normal life."

"It'll come back to you more quickly than you think," Bruce assured.

"For you too. You'll be back to keeping a schedule by the second in no time."

"Actually, the ultimate goal is for me to be a little more relaxed. The super tight schedule was necessary at first to keep my anxiety from spiraling, but I've started to filter in occasional spontaneity."

"That's fantastic. So if I want to call you to check in after you leave, it doesn't have to be at the same exact time every week?"

Bruce chuckled, "Of course not. Just try and stick to reasonable business hours. And frankly, I prefer texting. It's less nerve-wracking."

"I can't stay up past eleven anymore even if I try," Tony admitted. "Having a machine do all your heart's work for it is surprisingly exhausting."

"I believe it."

"What's the first thing you're going to do when you get home?"

"Probably unpack."

"That doesn't count. Tell me the first meaningful thing you're going to do."

"I don't know."

"Surely you can think of something."

"Take a walk through my neighborhood. I don't get outside nearly enough here."

"Now that's a good first thing."

"What's your first thing going to be?"

"I don't know when I'm going home."

"Assume it's sometime in the future."

"As opposed to in the past?"

"As opposed to going home being an impossible eventuality," Bruce clarified. "Because you will go home, Tony."

"I certainly hope so. Let's see…I think the first thing I'd do would be—"

"Don't speak hypothetically."

"Right. We're assuming this is an event in the future, not a hypothetical situation. The first thing I will do," he corrected, "Is sneak into my dad's workshop and start a new project."

"You sneak into your dad's workshop?"

"Technically I'm allowed to use it, so it's not sneaking. I haven't needed supervision since I was eleven or twelve."

"Send me a picture of whatever you design when you do it, okay?"

"Okay."

The next morning, Bruce left. Tony awoke to see him and a woman who must have been his mother carrying boxes out. They'd already said their goodbyes yesterday, so he didn't bother to rouse himself to go see him off. He just watched Bruce smile more than he'd ever seen him smile. Before Tony knew it, they took their last trip and nurses started changing the bedding and cleaning out the room across from his. Room 1218 now formerly belonged to Bruce Banner.

~0~

The next person to receive news of their discharge…was Tony. The word hit him like a defibrillator shock to the chest. He'd been under the impression that he wasn't escaping this place until he got his heart transplant, which still hadn't happened. Apparently, that wasn't the case.

"The VAD is working even better than we expected," Rhodes explained. "You will have to keep up with your meds and maintenance of the device, of course, but I see no reason not to send you home to await transplant."

Home. He'd honestly forgotten what his house looked like, what it felt like to inhabit that place with his parents. The last time he lived there had been a brief period after his diagnosis. Eons ago. That was back when he'd been an average high school kid focused on finding the address of the hottest parties and keeping his grades up so he could get into a good engineering school like MIT. That was before he even knew what cardiomyopathy or ventricular fibrillation were. That was before he met Steve, Parker, Thor, Natasha, Quill, Clint, Bucky, Nick, or Bruce. That was before he knew about his dead half-brother whose battle with cancer ravaged his father to the point where he feared to love his son. The idea of returning there was both the most incredible and the most terrifying thing he could imagine.

"When?" he asked shakily.

"The twenty seventh," Rhodes informed him. That was in two days.

"Do my parents know?"

"Yes. We informed them earlier today. They are understandably excited. Are you excited?"

"Uh…yeah," he managed. He was too stunned by the news to feel much of anything. "It just caught me off guard."

"That's okay. Take your time to process; I know it's been a long time. I'm here if you have any questions, but I suggest you and your parents start packing up your room."

"Okay. Thank you," Tony said before leaving the office and making his way to the common room as if in a trance. Home. He still didn't believe it was really happening. Just a few days ago he'd been talking about home with Bruce like it was still only a possibility for him and not an eventuality.

"I get to go home," he said to the residents assembled in the common room; Steve, Bucky, Parker, and Thor. He made the announcement with less conviction than it deserved, but they reacted as if he'd screamed it through a megaphone.

"No way! That's awesome," Parker exclaimed.

"That's amazing news," Steve added.

"I just found out, and I still can't really believe it's true."

"Well you'd better believe it," Bucky said. "Because it's happening. Unless this is an elaborate prank to get our hopes up that we'll finally be rid of you."

"I wouldn't tantalize you with that," Tony said wryly.

"When do you get outta dodge?" Steve asked.

"Wednesday."

"You'd better start packing," Bucky said.

"I can help," Parker offered.

"Thanks. That'd be great."

Over the next day, Tony and Parker worked together to pack his things away just as Tony had done with Bruce. It was so much different putting away his own things versus someone else's. He rolled up the AC/DC poster and tucked it away. Parker lovingly placed Dum-E and Butterfingers in a suitcase.

"I'm so happy for you," Parker blurted out.

"Thanks," Tony sighed.

"Why do you sound kinda sad? Going home should be a happy occasion."

"I know. I just feel like I don't remember how to live my old life and I'm gonna feel really out of place when I get back there."

"You're not going back to your old life," Parker informed him. "You're continuing your new life in an old place. There's a difference."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just going to be so weird not being here and seeing you all every day."

"You're trying very carefully not to outright say you're going to miss us terribly, aren't you?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing," Tony admitted. He already felt left out, even though he hadn't pulled himself from the group chat yet. A part of him feared that everyone here would forget about him as soon as he vacated his room on their shared ward.

"We're going to miss you too, Tony," Parker assured. "But be thankful we'll be missing you for all the right reasons. I miss a lot of people every day, and for most of them it's not because they're well enough to leave the hospital."

Tony bit the inside of his cheek to stop whatever had been about to spill out of his mouth. He couldn't say anything to that…could he? The closest thing he had to departed loved ones was a half brother he'd never met. He really hoped Parker wasn't trying to start a conversation on this topic because Tony could not swim in emotional water that deep right now.

"Sorry, that was a little much," Parker said sheepishly. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I'm just relieved that you're not leaving the same way as Carol."

"It's…it's fine," Tony said. He didn't want to think about the possibility that he could still end up like Carol. The VAD wouldn't tide him over for the rest of his life; it awarded him around ten years at most, which should be plenty of time for a donor heart to become available for him. Even that would buy him only ten to fifteen years, which seemed like a lot against the fact he would have died at sixteen without the VAD. But if he did the math—which he had, many times despite knowing it would only serve to sadden him—his total life expectancy came in at around forty years old. Half the national average. It was a morbid thought, but it crossed Tony's mind rather often given the circumstances. But today he forced it out of his consciousness and focused on the fact that he was finally going home.

Just as they had for Bruce, everyone assembled for Tony's hospital discharge rite of passage. He unstuck all of his Xs one by one (except for time, which he now needed to dedicate to taking care of his equipment) and switched them back to the self column. He expected to feel a weight off his shoulders when he stepped back and looked at it, and he was shocked at just how heavy that weight had been. It definitely had more heft than his backpack.

"Are you ready?" Parker asked as everyone pulled out their phones. Tony nodded, though this was the part he was most unsure about. He opened the group chat, clicked the tiny circle in the corner, and scrolled down to the red lettering. Parker closed in on his right shoulder to watch as he slowly and dramatically let his finger drift towards the button. He hesitated for the briefest moment before he tapped on it. Tony turned his head to look at Parker's screen, but what he saw puzzled him.

"Parker, why does yours say 'Iron Man' left the conversation? Is that what I'm in your contacts as?"

"Oh, uh…yeah."

"Why?" Tony asked, the corner of his mouth twitching up in a wry smile.

"Well, I kinda assumed your VAD was made of some kind of metal, but I didn't know which. So I went through the entire periodic table and picked the one that sounded the best."

"That's adorable," Bucky remarked.

"Shut up," Parker shot back. "I got bored, okay?"

"Okay." Bucky put his hand up in mock surrender.

"Doesn't Steve have to preach his sermon now?" Nick asked.

"That's not what it is," Steve defended. "I just like to give people a proper sendoff."

"Go ahead then, send him off," Quill said. Tony rolled his eyes, though he genuinely wanted to hear what Steve had to say about him.

"Tony, I've stayed here at Gravesen many times over the years and I've met a lot of people. The roster on this ward is constantly changing, and every time I come back there's a new squad for me to get to know. I am not exaggerating when I say that this group of ten we've had for a while is more like a family than any I've ever been a part of. Yes, we knew each other before you got here, but I feel like I didn't start to really get to know everyone until you showed up.

"You're always saying that I'm the natural leader here, but every time you told me that all I could think about was how the title applies to you so much better. I know I'm not the only one here who has turned to you in a time of crisis and benefited from whatever comfort and advice you had to offer. With you around, I feel like we really look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives. And it's been an honor fighting by your side."

The tears welled up before Tony had any hope of stopping them. Steve embraced him first. And then, instead of waiting their turn, everyone else just piled on until they created one massive Gravesen group hug.

~0~

The boxes of his things had already been loaded by employees of his father. Paperwork and everything was signed and dated. His room sat as empty and barren as it had been on the day he moved in. All that remained was to walk out the doors. "Are you ready?" his mother asked, her hand resting comfortingly on his shoulder. He nodded hesitantly, taking one last look down the hallway.

"Wait!" he recognized Steve's voice as his door opened and he dashed out to stand in front of them. "I have something for you." He handed Tony a folded piece of paper. Tony looked at him questioningly, wondering if he should open it now or wait. Steve gestured for him to unfold it now. Tony recognized the sketch he'd been working on earlier, of the two of them together, depicted not magically healed but with all of their imperfections on full display. He'd finalized it, corrected any errant lines and shaded it to perfection. Tony didn't know what to say.

"Thank you," he exhaled.

"You're welcome," Steve said with a smile. The two embraced one last time before Tony and his mother set off. She told him once again that Howard was busy working and couldn't make it. Tony was disappointed; he'd thought the days of his father avoiding him were over, but evidently he was wrong. They took the elevator back down to the main level and headed for the front door. Tony did a double take when he recognized who stood in the middle of the atrium. His father.

"You lied," he quipped to his mother.

"He wanted to surprise you," she countered. As they neared, Howard opened his arms and Tony accepted the paternal hug he didn't realize he'd always wanted until now.

"I love you," Howard whispered in his ear. "I'm not afraid to say it anymore."

"I love you too," Tony said.

Another familiar figure wandered into Tony's peripheral vision. He pulled back from his father's embrace and turned to look at Dr. Lee. The president of the hospital looked at him with a warm, knowing smile and said with a nod, "Excelsior."

Notes:

Here we are. Wow, what a trip this has been. I can't believe it's over...except it's not really over. Not. Even. Close. As you know, the prequels are coming! Between all of them, there's enough content to equal a story the same size as this one. Maybe even bigger. But, there's another project I've been working on this entire time that I think you'll be equally excited for. I call it: After Gravesen.

Can you guess what that means? Do I hear sequel? Correct! It's a sequel. Once we've gone back in time to discover how our characters got to Gravesen, we're going to jump back to this point in time and see where they go from here. Because they have so much more life to live that I want to explore, and I think maybe you'll be eager to explore with me. Until then, THANK YOU. I can't stress that enough. If you want to be notified when I post a new story, follow/subscribe to me as a user. I won't be posting any content except Gravesen stories for quite a while. See you on Plokhaya Krov, to be posted a week from today!

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