Work Header

The Santa Plan

Work Text:

Kurt Hummel had a plan.  It was a very good plan.  If all things went according to plan, Kurt Hummel would see Santa.

He even wrote it down.

If he saw Santa, he could go back to kindergarten, the horrid place it was, and tell all the brats with no respect for clothing or bags or books or personal items he spent time in the classroom with, that he saw Santa and Santa was real.

He might even write it all out and make it into a book...doing the work in front of Miss Jubbee.  Maybe if she SAW him write out the whole thing she would believe him when he said he knew and could write his alphabet and numbers and could read as well.  He was done with her calling him a liar daily and trying to ‘make himself’ fit in better by ‘not showing off’.  In other words he was done trying to be stupid.  It wasn’t working anyway; he could last maybe ten minutes before having to say something to combat the really stupid kids in his class.

Anyway, Kurt’s plan was simple.  Simple plans were generally best, and easiest to execute.  He was going to leave the cookies for Santa and the Milk…then go to bed like he was supposed to.  As soon as he heard his dad’s footsteps into his mom and dad’s room, Kurt would sneak out of his room and down the stairs.  Once there he’d curl up in his dad’s big reclining and swirling chair with his mom’s throw blanket which matched the chair’s color and wait.  Santa wouldn’t even see him.  It would be a perk of not having had a decent growth spurt in a year.

That reminded him.  Kurt need to ask his mom why his teacher insisted that Perk was too big of a word and that if Kurt was going to be snotty and not use ‘good thing’ like a normal little boy then he should use benefit instead…when benefit was a bigger word than perk. That lady and her proper boy speeches were driving him batty!  He should have insisted his mom homeschool him.  The three and half hours of kindergarten were not really a worthwhile use of his time.

Kurt hummed to himself as he helped his mommy decorate the sugar cookies.  He’d used the beaters with just a little help and used the rolling pin all by himself. It was awesome.  And his mommy had let him set the time on the oven and let him push the buttons to put the oven on and heat it to the right temperature.  And he’d read the recipe right the whole time and got the right amounts of ingredients out each time…except the wet one that needed poured because he still wasn’t allowed to pour yet, not after the milk incident two weeks ago.

“Momma, does the tooth fairy come to elves?” Kurt asked as he made his cookie have a face.

“I would imagine so.” Elizabeth answered.

“Do elves lose their teeth when they are little or big?  What does the tooth fairy bring them?” Kurt asked

“Well, I’m going to assume that elves lose their baby teeth about the same age, relatively, as human children do.  The tooth fairy probably leaves them the currency used by elves.”

“Currency?” Kurt asked.

“Type of money.  The tooth fairy leaves kids here in the states quarters or dollars, but kids in other places around the world will get whatever types of coins they use to buy treats with.  So the tooth fairy would leave elf kids whatever they needed to buy treats with.”

“Currency.” Kurt repeated. He loved new words. He loved making his teacher glare because he used new big words.

“Momma, are the reindeer gonna eat the carrot off my snowman?” Kurt asked after a few minutes. “I think we should make sure to use green sprinkles for Santa, he is probably sick and tired of red by now.”

“I doubt the reindeer have time to eat carrots, Kurt, but if they do we have enough carrots to replace it in the morning.”

“Do they even have carrots in the North Pole?” Kurt asked.

“I’m sure they do. I don’t know if they grow them there though, we might have to look that up.”

“What else would reindeer eat?” Kurt asked.

“We’ll have to look that up at well.” Elizabeth answered. “We can do that after we finish frosting the cookies and get Santa set.”

Kurt nodded and went back to frosting and signing with the background music.  He was gonna have to figure out how to stay awake until he heard his dad’s footsteps.  Maybe he could sneak in the memory game or some cards.  Daddy had taught him how to play solitaire and that was an alone game.

Maybe he could sneak some books up to his room too.  His momma usually removed them before she put him to bed though, so he didn’t stay up too late reading books and not sleep and get grumpy.

If he put the book between his mattresses he should be able to keep it.  But it couldn’t be the book they were in the middle of reading out loud…he’d have to find a different book.

Kurt looked and realized they were down to just four more cookies left to frost. That meant it was almost time for Christmas Eve things…like Daddy reading The Night Before Christmas and opening his pajama box and his new movie to watch in his PJs and his special cocoa.

Momma got out a Christmas Plate and had Kurt pick three cookies to put on it.  Kurt picked out green sprinkle cookies for all three.  Then his momma set him on the floor and told him to go wash up.

Kurt scampered off, stopping in the room with the games and books to pull out two search and find books and his memory cards and his deck of cards and chase off to his bedroom with it all, stopping at the bathroom to wash up on his way back.  His prizes were hidden under his bed and in his closet.

He was certain to stay awake long enough now.

Daddy was waiting in the living room by the tree.  He set Kurt’s box in front of him and Kurt took off the lid.  His pajamas were red and white striped and came with red slipper socks.  He got a new Christmas sing-along movie and his hot chocolate was cherry chocolate.  His momma sent him of to get changed as she made his hot chocolate. 

Kurt came back down after getting all ready for bed and dressed in his pajamas.  His momma offered him up a cookie to eat with his chocolate and turned on his movie.  He chose one with lots of frosting and sprinkles so the sugar would help him stay awake.

He sat next to his momma and they sang with his movie, then his daddy pulled out the book and Kurt went to sit on his lap.

Daddy read from the big Night Before Christmas book with the pretty pictures and then held Kurt as his momma read him a chapter from his Tree House book.

Then momma picked him up and carried him to bed, tucking him in and turning off the main light after turning on his nightlight.

She shut his door all the way on the way out.

“No!” Kurt yelled. “Not all shut.  And keep the hall light on.”

“Ok, but stay in bed.” Momma said.

Kurt watched Momma leave.  He got out of bed and crossed to the closet to fetch his cards, making sure to avoid the squeaky parts of the floor.  He fetched his books from under the bed.  He snuck to the shadow by the door, where he wouldn’t be seen but where he could see his cards.  He set up memory first and played until all the pairs were matched.  Momma and Daddy hadn’t come up to bed yet.

He played solitaire next and finished a whole round of that.  Still no momma or daddy.

He was in the middle of the first search and find book when he saw his momma go to bed.  His daddy followed right after.  He heard them talking and then the lights went out from under their bedroom door.

Kurt finished his book and then tucked the other one under his arm to take with him down the stairs.

He made it down stairs and into the living room.  The tree was still lit. The cookies were sitting out on the small table by the tree.  The stockings were hung from the mantle.  He climbed into the chair and cuddled under the blanket and opened his book.  But the light was so dim it was hard to find the items.  He just looked at the pictures…he found thimbles and keys and red bows and a horse and keys and shells and keys and…

He heard the coffee maker turn on in the kitchen. Tucked around him was a different blanket, one that had his name sewn on the corner and that was super soft.   His stocking was on the couch, by a new lego set and a tea set.  There were more presents under the tree and only one last bite of cookie was on the cookie plate. 

Kurt had missed him.  He had missed Santa.

Kurt sighed.  The man had come though and left things.  He figured he’d better go wake his momma and daddy.

Maybe next year he’d catch the guy.