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Nonsense and gays

Summary:

A crazy high school au featuring
gays
bad parents
chapters that I have written but I can't post yet
snark
trouble
and most of all
idiots

Notes:

Hey guys I hope you like this. I know it isn't much now but I have another 4000 words written

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Arrested or depressded?

Chapter Text

Goth siblings support group
Loki - Snekkyboi
Hela- helawillfreeze

Snekkyboi: sup
helawillfreeze: wrong number
Snekkyboi: it’s your sibling
helawillfreeze: no
Snekkyboi: bitch
helawillfreeze: oh it’s you
Snekkyboi: who else would it be
helawillfreeze: a wrong number
Snekkyboi: you can get us out of jail right?
helawillfreeze: which one?
Snekkyboi: the one on valley road- in the next town over
helawillfreeze: yup. give me thirty minutes and i’m expecting payment

We’re here We’re queer We’re ready to die
Tony - Ironidiot
Thor - thunderman
Clint - Birbman
Bucky - Armedandohno
Steve - starspangledumbass
Bruce - green with rage
Nat - nay

ironidiot: so you guys remember how i was making new hearing aids for clint and a new arm for bucky
ironidiot: and then clint was like “this is a shifty gift”
ironidiot: so then i made him all those arrows
ironidiot: so then you all made you make you things
ironidiot: and i made sam those wings
ironidiot: well he just jumped off the roof of cvs and i recorded it
ironidiot: and clint was in the vents
ironidiot: and loki helped sam get to the roof
ironidiot: well we’re all arrested
ironidiot: but it’s okay hela is breaking us out
thunderman: is loki okay?
ironidiot: yeah

starspangledumbass: was that you guys
birbman: no
nay: it was hela and I
Armedandohno: you blew up the police station nat
Armedandohno: that’s bad
nay: I didn’t blow up the police station
nay: hela did
nay: and it wasn’t the police station it was the abandoned building next door
thunderman: whilst the police were occupied we went in and broke our friends out
Starspangledumbass: we?
thunderman: Bruce helped!!
Greenwithrage: he said I wouldn’t get cuddles if I didn’t :(
birbman: but thunderman lives for cuddles????
Greenwithrage: I couldn’t take the chance

Chapter 2

Summary:

More bs from me :) this one is longer

Chapter Text

We’re here We’re queer We’re ready to die
Tony - Ironidiot
Thor - thunderman
Clint - Birbman
Bucky - Armedandohno
Steve - starspangledumbass
Bruce - green with rage
Nat - nay

ironidiot: do you know that peter kid in our grade?
Birbman : Quill?
ironidiot: no the parker kid who just transferred
Birbman: oh yeah
ironidiot: so they other day i saw him helping all these people out in the nursing home
Birbman: the one Steve does his community service at?
ironidiot: yeah! and so i thought he was doing that
ironidiot: but when mr. coulson asked if anyone needed a form he didn’t say yes. and I checked he doesn’t have that listed.
nay: tony did you hack the school
ironidiot: why?
nay: i need dirt on rumlow
ironidiot: okay
ironidiot: but anyway this means he was doing it out of the goodness of his heart
ironidiot: and he’s really smart
ironidiot: should i go talk to him
nay: yeah. go do it after you get my dirt

 

Tony- ironidiot
Peter- spoodermain
ironidiot: hey Peter?
spoodermain: tony?
ironidiot: ye
irondiot: we noticed you just transferred so if you want to join our group you could
spoodermain: don’t you guys cause like 50% of the crime around here?
ironidiot: no who told you that
ironidiot: it’s closer to 80%
Spoodermain: sure

We’re here We’re queer We’re ready to die
Tony - Ironidiot
Thor - thunderman
Clint - Birbman
Bucky - Armedandohno
Steve - starspangledumbass
Bruce - green with rage
Nat - nay

Birbman: i’m an idiot
nay: i know
Birbman: rude
armedandohno: but true
nay: what brought this realization on
Birbman: well first of all fuck you both and second of all let me tell the story
starspangledumbass: language
Birbman: so i’m making pasta
Birbman: cause dads gone and barney is god knows where and it’s all we have
Birbman: so i add some oil
nat: oil?
Birbman: just a little
nay: don’t burn anything down
ironidiot: never thought i’d see nay arguing against burning things
armedandohno: says you
Birbman: ANYWAYS
Birbman: i add the oil
Birbman: and it’s balsamic
count: so now i’m eating fuckin balsamic pasta because i haven’t had anything to eat yet today so i need to eat this
Birbman: :(
ironidiot: f
nay: f
armedandohno: f
starspangledumbass: f
thunderman: f
bruce: f
Birbman: f you
ironidiot: wait be nice guys
ironidiot added spoodermain
ironidiot: everyone this is good peter
starspangledumbass: hey peter
birbman: whatup yeeter
ironidiot: please don’t scare my science son
nay: clint you motherfucker
nay: oh hi peter
nay: clint you better not have done what i think you did
birbman: …
nay: say goodbye to cunt everyone
spoodermain: is this normal?
greenwithrage: unfortunately.
greenwithrage: so who are you peter?
spoodermain: whatup i’m peter i’m 14 and i never went to freshman year
starspangledumbass: what grade are you in? we’re all juniors
spoodermain: I’m in sophomore year
nay: can you fight?
spoodermain: no?
nay: we can fix that
thunderman: do not corrupt the small child
spoodermain: mr. thor?
thunderman: yes! it is i. thor.
starspangledumbass: wait
starspangledumbass: how do you know thor?
spoodermain: he’s in my ap latin class?
thunderman: the small child is wide beyond his years
thunderman: we have become the best of sghshsgl
thunderman added snekkyboi
snekkyboi: i had to stab thor to get his phone but this was worth it
spoodermain: mr. loki?
snekkyboi: peter?
snekkyboi: you should not be here
ironidiot: wait how do you know loki?
spoodermain: he’s really nice
spoodermain: he brought me to the nurse when i fell earlier
snekkyboi: you were punched
spoodermain: i fell.
snekkyboi: i had to go stab that kid
spoodermain: you stabbed him??????
snekkyboi: no i just scared him a bit
spoodermain: :(
snekkyboi: :/
birbman: YOULL NEVER FIND ME NAT
birbman: IM INVINCLBLE
nay: i took your exploding arrows
birbman: fine
birbman: i’ll let you into the teacher blackmail doc
onearmedandohno: why did clint just fall out of the vents in the history room?
onearmedandohno: oh
starspangledumbass: clint.
starspangledumbass: why do you have blackmail on our teachers
birbman: anything you put online is there forever
birbman: and Coulson and M-y are married
spoodermain: did you just do to our teacher what my uncle did to God
birbman: she’s scary okay
spoodermain: fair

 

nay: did bruce and tony just set fire to the science classroom
clint: on the one day i’m home sick :(
clint: this is child abuse
nay: really clint
clint: sorry
ironidiot: i would have had detention but i very nicely financed a new science wing for our school and some money so the roof doesn’t fall in
greenwithrage: leaving me in detention with lang
spoodermain: didn’t he put red ants in mr. wards desk
nay: ten bucks coulson asked him to do it and will ask to cover the detention to then let him play outside
onearmedandohno: ?
nay: pay me or clint 30$ for more info or give us 10$ for a random piece of info on a teacher. specific info is 45 so this is a limited time offer
onearmedandohno: toooooooony
ironidiot: if i give you the money will you tell all of us?
nay: sure. it’ll get you interested
nay: okay i got the money
nay: so you know how coulson and may are married
nay: they’re fostering/adopting a kid
nay: not telling you who without more money
nay: and ward was being creepy
nay: your free trial is over!
ironidiot: what do you mean free?
nay: most people here just got free info
birbman: hey :(
birbman: are you selling info :(
nay: I am the one who figured most of this out
nay: i just needed your info to fill some holes :)
birbman: :(
nay: i will shoot you
snekkyboi: can i have a ten dollar scrap :?
thunderman: have you been selling pictures of your feet again brother?
snekkyboi: i’ll give you 11 to share with chat
nay: sure
nay: before ms. may got shot in the leg she was a martial arts champion
snekkyboi: i could have found that out myself
spoodermain: why is ms. natasha chasing mr. loki?
spoodermain: oh

Notes:

I hope it was good. I haven't decided what ships to have yet so I'm taking suggestions
right now I know I'll have thor/bruce and sam/t'challa (when I manage to add them in) other than that I'm good with any ships and/or charterers i could add.
Oh also, a bunch of these texts are or will be based off of things that me and my friends have said so if you guess a thing right I will write you a fic of your choice!