Kendall and Logan are in love.
And before you go all fangirl (or fanboy) on us, they aren't together. No, they are either so oblivious that they don't notice how they shiver each time they brush shoulders, or they are afraid of what would happen if they got together.
I'm not kidding either. Carlos has noticed it too—and no offense to Carlos, but he can be just as oblivious as our band mates most of the time. So yeah, this needs to happen already.
The first time I noticed that our group leader and resident genius were crushing on one another was after we played this amazing show in the park.
I think it was about mid-July and I remember looking hot in skinny jeans, vans and a muscle-hugging black t-shirt. The guys were dressed similarly—Gustavo had said something about looking uniform—but I was the one who really pulled off the look. Plus, all eyes were on me.
Maybe that was why after the show when Kendall in excitement caught Logan up in a hug, no one even seemed to notice. I thought for sure all the forums would be filled with teenage girls spreading the news that Kendall and Logan were seen hugging intimately after a show. Instead, all I found were blogs about hot I was.
And before you become skeptical, let me point out that this was no 'man hug' where two men throw their arms around each other for thirty seconds, never truly getting close, and then break apart with the same speed as two atoms. (At least that's how Logan explained it to Carlos.) It is a pretty good description though, but not of the hug my friends shared.
This was a can't-get-any-closer hug –which I know from personal experience because the ladies just love me. Logan, being smaller, folded into Kendall's chest and pressed his face into the blonde's shoulder. His arms ended up around Kendall's midsection, while Kendall practically was hugging Logan's neck. And no matter how awkward the whole thing looked, they seemed determined to see it through. There was a level of intimacy there that I've never had with any girl.
That's when I realized that they at least liked each other. It wasn't until later did I realize that it was love.
After that concert, I became more alert.
I watched the guys all the time, trying to catch glimpses of their absolute adorableness.
Wait...? You'd think that I'd be freaked out by the prospect of my two best guy friends liking each other? No, I think it's great—more ladies for me. I mean, when those two finally get together, all our female fans (who aren't already in love with me) will need a shoulder to cry on.
And incidentally that's the next thing that happened.
Yet, instead of crying fangirls, it was a crying Kendall.
I'm still not sure how it all happened, but I'll tell you what I do know.
Kendall seemed kind of down all day. We tried to cheer him up, but we're unsuccessful. I even offered him some of my Cuda Man Spray, and he refused! That's when I realized something serious was going on.
It was finally Logan who learned what was up.
It was after dinner, which Kendall didn't even show up to, and Logan decided to bring some food to him. He filled up a plate with chicken nuggets and a glass of cola, and disappeared in his and Kendall's shared bedroom.
Carlos and I waited, but they didn't come out. Minutes turned into an hour, and an hour turned into the entire evening. Finally bored of the movie we were watching and getting more curious by the second, Carlos nabbed Logan's stethoscope from where he left it on the table and moved the door.
Carlos let me go first, so I pressed the metal piece to the door and listened.
"It's okay, you can cry." I heard Logan saying.
I wondered if Kendall had been crying that entire time. I could never do that—you know, puffy eyes. James doesn't do puffy eyes.
"No, I can't. I have to stay strong for Katie. She's hurting too." Kendall sobbed.
I could picture the two on Kendall's bed, hugging. Kendall would be crying all over Logan's shirt and Kendall would just rub his head gently.
"Why?" Logan coaxed. My eyes widened; he was just as in the dark as I was.
"Because this is the anniversary of our dad's death."
I stiffened. Suddenly it seemed too intimate a conversation to be listening to. Yet, I stayed there while Carlos silently begged me to let him have his turn. I waved him off. He frowned.
I had met Kendall's dad just once before the accident. He was taller than Kendall, and had the same blond hair. Yet, if Kendall looked like anyone it was his mother and Katie. I looked like my mom, too, but manlier, of course. Though if Kendall's personality came from anyone, it was his dad. They both loved having fun, cared little what people thought about them, and could take charge of any situation. I guess, though, you could argue that Kendall was a lot like his mom too, but then again you never met his father.
"I miss him, you know." Kendall whined, sounding pitiful.
That's why I never cry. Snot, red eyes and an extreme lack of manliness. But like I said, Kendall doesn't care.
"I know, I know." Logan said gently. There was a tenderness in his voice that I never heard before.
"Can you get me some tissues?"
At first I hadn't realized what was happening until I heard footsteps. Scrambling backwards, I dragged Carlos onto the couch with me and flung the stethoscope onto the table.
Logan came out of the room, his expression sad. I noticed that his shirt was covered in tiny tear stains, but he didn't notice as he picked up the tissues and returned to the bedroom.
I loved Kendall and all, but I've never been good at comforting people. Then again, neither has Logan. Yet, when it comes to Kendall he has always offered a shoulder to cry on. While I would comfort Kendall if Logan didn't get there first, I would never be able to show as much love as Logan did. It was the kind of thing you could only muster up for someone you were head-over-heels for.
The next time I caught them acting all strange around one another was this day when we were all chilling in the apartment. Gustavo had given us the day off and Carlos suggested video games. Yet, Logan didn't think it was 'video games' unless there were snacks involved.
Kendall, waiting for his turn, wandered into the kitchen to talk to Logan.
I was focused fully on the game, but I could hear the two chatting nearby. It wasn't until Logan laughed loudly that my gaze was jerked from the screen, and I couldn't believe what I saw.
Kendall was backed up against the counter, his right arm stretched above his head. In his hand was the bag of jalapeno poppers that Logan was going to cook for us. Logan, trying to reach the bag, was practically pressed up against Kendall's front and stretching his arms upwards.
I glanced at Carlos who was so involved with the game that he didn't notice the incriminating position our friends were in, nor that I had stopped playing the game.
Yet, I saw everything.
The two friends strained and argued for a few minutes like that, until they seemed to snap out of it and realize the position they were. Though, instead of jumping apart like you'd expect, they locked eyes and stared at each other for a moment. Logan's ears burned red, and Kendall just looked uncomfortable.
For a moment, I thought that maybe this was all one-sided. Maybe Logan liked Kendall, but Kendall didn't like him back. Panic gripped me as I realized that this might destroy the band. I hadn't thought about it before but now that I did, I was terrified.
I mean, this was my—I mean, our dream. I couldn't fathom them throwing all that away for a hapless romance. I wouldn't give up Big Time Rush for a girl... any girl. Not even a hot Swedish supermodel. And that hurts to say.
Then, I realized I was being selfish. They were obviously into each other, and James Diamond did not stand in the way of love.
That's when I noticed Kendall leaning towards Logan.
I thought I was imagining things, but they were going to kiss. They drew closer and closer, closing their eyes and waiting for it. I was nearly at the edge of my seat, watching. Just as their lips were about to touch, I heard a scream.
"I WON!" Carlos screamed at the top of his lungs. He threw the game controller on the ground and started dancing and chanting that he beat me. Considering he always lost to me, it was quite an accomplishment. If only I had been playing.
Back in the kitchen, at the sound of the scream, Logan and Kendall snapped out of their daze.
Kendall jerked back in surprise and his head connected with the cabinet. This caused him to ricochet forward, his forehead knocking against Logan's with a thud, and both boys groaned.
"Kendall, it's your turn," Carlos yelled to the blonde, but Kendall didn't hear him.
Kendall looking horrified and clutching his head, maneuvered around Logan and darted into their shared bedroom. That's when I realized why Kendall looked so uncomfortable. I just smirked.
"What was that about?" Carlos asked.
Logan looked dazed and confused, so he didn't answer. I, on the other hand, was the only non-confused one and so the question ended up being directed at me. It was nice to be the one the guys turned to for once.
"Oh nothing." I told Carlos and picked up my controller. "Go another round?"
Remember how I said that I was thought perhaps their romance was one-sided? Boy, was I wrong.
Camille had just returned to the Palm Woods. Her latest TV show had finished its first season, but she was already practicing lines for the next season. We were all so happy to see her, but had to go let her unpack. So she went up to her apartment while the rest of us relocated to the pool.
While I was sunbathing and looking hot for all the ladies, I peeked over at Logan and Kendall. I swear, by that point the two were dating. If it weren't for the fact that Logan seemed a little too excited about Camille being back, I might have thought they were dating, but secretly. I mean, they were taking turns rubbing sunscreen on each other.
Pardon my French, but that was the gayest thing I have ever seen. And I don't even mean that in a derogatory sense. It was two dudes rubbing all over each all slow like. If it were two girls doing the same thing, every guy in a one mile radius would come running.
Well, except Logan and Kendall, of course.
Then, in a whirlwind, Camille in all her glory burst into our little bubble of calm. Clutching her script to her chest, she yanked Logan off his pool chair and said, "I can't love you anymore!"
Then she placed a huge kiss on his lips. We had all seen it happen a million times before, but never have I seen Kendall look so horrified about it. It broke my heart.
Logan, like the idiot he is about anything not school, starting kissing back. What had started as a stage kiss turned into something much more, and Kendall looked like he was going to be sick.
"Camille!" I yelled, pulling her attention from Logan. "You know, you never filled us in about your latest project."
Knowing Camille she'd have plenty to tell us. Instead she smiled and said, "You'll just have to wait and see like everyone else, James."
"And miss out on all the exclusive details from the leading lady?"
That pulled her in.
"Okay, it's called Vampire Warlocks of Mulberry Lane. I play August Taylor, a vampire warlock who must..." Camille launched into an explanation of the show, but I wasn't listening. Everyone else was though and didn't notice Kendall slipping away from the group. His expression was strained.
Camille kept talking for ten or fifteen minutes. At the end of her monologue, Logan looked around. "Hey, where'd Kendall go?"
I knew from the start that Camille would break Logan's heart. She'd have to leave again eventually to finish filming Vampire Warlocks of Mulberry Lane, but in fact, it was the other way around. Logan broke Camille's heart.
It wasn't what he did, though. It was what he didn't do.
Camille's not an idiot; she saw the way that her "boyfriend" looked at Kendall. The way he'd blow off their dates to be with Kendall. How he would completely lose himself when talking to Kendall. She even noticed the nervous touches he shared with Kendall. What he didn't do is even realize what he was doing.
"Logan, I think we need to break up." Camille said, her voice shrill and devoid of emotion. It was strange to hear her like that. James Diamond doesn't get his heart broken easily but overhearing this conversation was doing just that.
"What... why? Things are going so great." Logan pleaded. That was equally heartbreaking.
I was stuck in my room, while they were in the living room. I had been preparing for a date when they came in like a tornado. Hearing their voices just outside my door kept me inside, and my date was hot too. And by hot, I mean hotter than even me, but I didn't dare interrupt.
"It's just... how blind are you, Logan?" She sighed. "It's obvious that you're in love with someone else."
"What are you talking about?"
"You know, Logan! Even if you won't admit it." Camille snarled, stomping her foot. She sounded less sad now and more angry.
"I really have no clue-"
"You are so smart, but sometimes you are an idiot." She yelled, her voice trembling. Then her voice softened, to the point where I was pressed up against the door to hear. "How do you think this makes him feel?"
"God, Logan...just get out."
"Uh...this is my apartment." Logan said, his voice unsteady.
I heard Logan run out and waited until the door slammed. I started to open the door as I heard light sobbing. Camille was slouched on the couch, her face buried in her hands. I moved to sit next to her.
"How are they so blind?" She whimpered. Then the angry glint returned in her eyes when she looked up at me. "I love him, James...so much, but he'll never truly be happy with me. It's obvious that he's in love with Kendall. Is he stupid? Or just afraid?"
"I don't know," I told her dumbly. She leaned against me. I kept my hands folded in my lap and just let her cry. It would have been platonic to hold her, but at the moment she was a dangerous mix of angry and sadness. I couldn't risk messing my beautiful face up.
We stayed like that for several minutes before she peeled herself from my side.
"Didn't you have a date?"
"No." I said putting my poker face on.
"Yes, I explicitly remember you bragging about a date." Camille smirked.
"Yeah, well, I would rather stay here with you." I told her.
"Cheesy," She told me. Then she stood, straightened her skirt, and walked out of the room with her head held high.
Logan might have inadvertently broken her heart, but I knew that she would be fine.
I knew that Logan didn't truly love Camille like he had thought but he was still broken up over her. Either that or his constant "moping" –at least that's what I figured it was—was him contemplating who she thought he loved. He seemed really torn up about it.
At first I was willing to let things run their natural course. Eventually, I figured Kendall and Logan would get the picture, but boy was I wrong.
Instead they skirted each other feelings like the plague.
"Pass me the gravy." Kendall said through a mouthful of food, earning a few distasteful looks from Ms. Knight.
"Here," Logan said in the same droll tone that he'd been using the last week or so.
I was the only one watching, so I was the only one who watched in slow motion as the two boys' hands brushed one another. Kendall jerked away, bringing the gravy boat with him. Logan, not expecting the jerk, was still holding it. Together they dumped the contents all down Kendall's front.
"I'm so sorry." Logan said with horror, picking up his napkin to dab at Kendall's shirt.
"I got it." Kendall whimpered, scooting away from Logan. Everyone was watching now as Logan followed, trying to clean up the mess. Kendall's expression grew harder. "I said I got it!" He yelled, grabbing Logan's wrist.
The brunette looked as if he had been stabbed in the heart by his lover, and metaphorically he had been.
Kendall ran from the table, and disappeared into the bathroom.
I looked at everyone gathered, and no one moved. I sighed. Once again I was going to have to be the one to swoop in and make everything right...or at least better.
"Kendall?" I asked tentatively.
"Stop being such a girl. I just want to talk."
"Doesn't that make you the girl?" He responded lightly. I smirked. "Just a moment."
He opened the door and the first thing I noticed was Kendall's red eyes. Great...now I was going o be the one with tear stains on my nice light blue shirt. It was a new shirt too, but I stepped into the bathroom and enveloped my friend in a hug.
"What are you—"
"I'm hugging you, Kendall...hug me back." I told him. Finally he obliged. "I know you're in love with Logan."
"What gave you that idea?" He asked, his voice small. When I didn't answer, he sighed, "You're right, but I don't know what to do."
Kendall stepped away from me and licked his lips. "I can't."
"I've been hurt before, James. I'm not going to set myself up for even more heartache." He said, shaking his head. He always seemed like nothing hurt him, but sometimes it just seemed like the world used him as a punching bag.
"And what? Watch Logan fall in love, get married, have kids?" I knew that would kill him.
"I know, James!" He whined. "But as long as he's happy..."
I didn't know what to say to that. I had reached the end of my line, so I reeled it in with a deep breath and left. I went back to dinner and continued eating.
Kendall returned finally, his shirt still stained but no longer dripping with gravy. He stole a longing glance at Logan.
I wish Kendall would just kiss him already.
At this point, I was irritated.
I mean, punch-the-wall kind of angry, but I never hit anything out of anger. I would play fight with Carlos, of course, but never when I was mad. That's why I blew up at Carlos verbally instead.
"Wanna wrestle?" He asked, sounding like a little kid at Christmas.
"Come on...you're just chicken." He started clucking at me.
"I'm not in the mood." I told him sternly.
So he started poking me.
"CARLOS, I DON'T WANT TO WRESTLE WITH YOU!" I screamed and instantly regretted it.
Carlos looked like I had slapped him and started crying. His sobs were pitiful and it broke my heart. Damn...what was it with me and crying lately? I never cried, but everyone around me was having a bawl-fest.
"Carlos, don't cry...don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you." I told him soothingly. "It's just...Kendall and Logan."
His tears started to peter out at this point, and he nodded knowingly.
"We need to get those two to wake up and smell the coffee." I told him. He nodded again.
"But how?" His voice cracked.
"Well, I have an idea." I told him. Carlos nodded, entirely engrossed in whatever I had to say. I thought a moment. "If we can get them into a small space, it would force them to talk it out.""
"How do we get them to this small place? What small place?" Carlos asked.
"I haven't worked out all the details yet..." I told him contemplatively. I wasn't Kendall. I wasn't the 'idea guy'. I had no idea what I was doing, and was sure that I was getting in far over my head.
"How about the janitor's closet?" Carlos asked. "It's small, locks from the outside, and is out of the way."
I had to admit it was good. I didn't expect that from Carlos of all people.
"And if we ask them to meet us there individually, it will be easy to push them in and lock the door." He told me with excitement.
"Whoa...calm down, buddy. Don't want to hurt ourselves now do we." I told him sarcastically and he glared at me a moment.
We sat in silence a second. "We should get the guys."
"I call Kendall!" Carlos screamed, leaping off the couch and running from the room.
Damn, that left me with Logan.
The plan was brilliant, of that I was now sure. Now if only Kendall and Logan were my brainchildren; they'd be brilliant too. Not that they aren't great, of course, but greatness can be improved. That's why I use Cuda despite being gorgeous already.
I shot Logan a vague text message and after a few questions, I convinced him to meet me on the third floor near the janitor's closet.
Now it was a waiting game. Five minutes passed. Ten minutes passed. Still no Logan or Kendall.
I tried calling Carlos to see how his Kendall-wrangling was going, but he didn't pick up. I frowned. It seemed my oh-so-brilliant plan was already falling apart at the seams.
Finally I stormed down the hall and slammed the button to take me to the lobby. The doors opened and there stood a very confused looking Kendall. I hesitated. Where was Carlos?
"Hey." Kendall told me, smiling.
"Hey," I climbed in the elevator.
It was at that point I decided to abort the mission. Carlos had obviously gone haywire and Logan, despite being a genius, couldn't follow simple instructions. I would have returned to the apartment if it weren't for the fact that I was now looking for Carlos.
The elevator dinged for the lobby and the doors opened. Logan stepped in, furiously texting on his phone. He didn't look up until the elevator doors shut and we lurched upward.
Neither Logan nor Kendall said anything, but I saw a death match being waged by their eyes. They were so into it that neither were willing to relinquish their position and the warring only got worse.
We were nearing our floor quickly and I decided to improvise. You didn't always need a plan.
I slammed the button labeled 'stop' and the elevator went still. Unprepared for the sudden halt, both Kendall and James hit the ground. I had merely collided with the wall—don't worry, my face is fine—and caught my balance.
"What the—" Kendall began.
"Shut up, Kendall." I snapped, a little harshly I might add. " You two are going to resolve this once and for all."
"I don't know what you're—" Logan stammered.
"Talk!" I snarled, before turning around and staring at the wall. "Just pretend I'm not here."
Five minutes went by of just silence, but I was sticking to my guns, even if it meant dying in that elevator. Then I heard the whispering.
"I don't know what he's talking about."
"Maybe he's lost his marbles."
"Reminds me of Camille, when she broke up with me. Really cryptic too."
"Wait...why did she break up with you?" Kendall asked. Apparently I was the only one told about the nature of the breakup. Everyone knew it had occurred though.
"I just told you that she was cryptic." Logan hissed, his voice rising. Kendall must have fixed him with a look because he said, "She said I was in love with someone else, and, word-for-word, 'How do you think this makes him feel?' What the hell is the supposed to mean?"
Both fell silent. I stole a glance. They were just standing there thinking. Kendall seemed to be realizing something though, his eyes wide.
"She was referring to Kendall," I said, breaking my own rule.
Logan looked at me a moment, his face blank. Then he looked back at Kendall, his face dawning into shock.
"She broke up with me because of you," Logan accused.
"That's not my fault." Kendall said defensively but his voice had a horrified undertone. Logan had figured out Kendall's deep dark secret.
"You're in love with Camille!" Logan gasped.
...Or not. I literally face-palmed.
How could Logan get Kendall trying to steal his ex-girlfriend out of her saying that she knew Logan loved someone else. Maybe in his dopey brain he convinced himself that, that was just a common break-up phrase, kind of like, "It's not you it's me." Who knows?
"What?" Kendall said incredulously. He couldn't believe this either. Logan was so close to realizing that his best friend was in love with him and blew it.
"I thought you were my best friend?"
I heard a smack. I turned just in time to see Logan tackle Kendall. Usually Logan wouldn't stand a chance against his best friend, but the blonde was letting Logan take out his frustrations. He just lay there, limp.
"Come on and fight me." Logan snarled, tears running down his face.
Each hit became progressively softer until Kendall just reached up and caught Logan's wrists. Then I noticed it. On Logan's right wrist there was a nasty black bruise. Kendall noticed it too. Instead of defending himself against Logan's false accusations, he asked, "Where'd that come from?"
"Remember the gravy boat?" Logan asked and I now could remember Kendall shoving Logan away.
"Oh god." Kendall looked horrified. "I never wanted to hurt you."
Logan snorted. "Yeah right, if you didn't want to hurt me, then you wouldn't have gone after my girlfriend."
Kendall's expression softened. "Logan...Logie..." He pulled out Logan's elementary school nickname. It was a nice touch. "You've got it all wrong."
"Then please enlighten me."
I could practically here Kendall say, "Gladly," but he said nothing. Instead, he grabbed Logan's face and crashed his lips against the brunette's.
They stayed like that a moment before breaking apart. Logan looked daze. "What...?"
"I'm sorry, Logan." Kendall said. "I just...love you, okay? There I said it. I'm in love with you, Logan Mitchell. And when you started dating Camille again, I thought I'd break into a million pieces. Before I thought we had something, but I just started convincing myself that I had imagined all the soft touches and almost kisses. Then, even after you broke up with Camille, I was hurting. I saw the pain on your face from losing her, and knew that you'd never fall for me." He paused to take a shuddering breath. "Then I couldn't stand you touching me. Not because I hated your touch but because I couldn't get enough of it. It hurt not to be able to hold you...caress you. That's why I freaked when you brushed my hand at dinner. I'm sorry, Logan. I know you must hate me now."
Logan just gaped at Kendall.
Finally, Logan reached forward and yanked Kendall towards him. At first I thought they were going to fight again, but then they were kissing. It was gentle but passionate. Kendall was practically on top of Logan. I felt guilty about watching, so I turned away.
I let them have their moment, which turned out to be like ten minutes. I didn't mind though. This is what I wanted for them. Plus, the downtime gave me the chance to fix my hair. You can never look too good.
In the eleventh minute of Kendall and Logan's make out session, the elevator whirled back to life and started carrying us down. I glanced at Kendall and Logan. I thought they might have pressed the button, but the only thing they were pressing was each other against the wall.
I stood and when the elevator opened, a fireman looked in concerned. He seemed to overlook the kissing boys and settled on me. "You boys okay?" I nodded mutely. "Good. Nothing is worse than being stuck in an elevator." Then he looked at Kendall and Logan. "Unless you're those two."
I smirked and stepped out of the small space, dragging the lovebirds with me.
I guess we got off the hook this time.
We all sat on the couch watching Scream 2. Carlos had rented it, despite the fact we had seen it twice already.
Logan and Kendall were curled up under a blanket at the other end of the couch with Logan hiding his face in Kendall's shirt at every scary part. Carlos rested next to them, eating popcorn like it was going out of style.
Me? I sat with my arm wrapped around a brunette cutie. Her curls pooled across my arm. I smiled.
After that time when I comforted Camille, she grew to like me. We hung out a few times and one thing led to another—we were together. She wasn't my usual hottie, but I was convinced that she was better.
She snuggled deeper into the crook of my arm, looked over at Kendall and Logan, and said, "At least they finally figured it out."
"Yeah, maybe next time you could be more specific." Logan snapped. That set us off laughing and Carlos shushed us. We fell silent, but remained smiling.
Kendall made eye contact with me over Logan's, Carlos' and Camille's head to give me a small smile.
I guess it did work out well in the end.