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Satan's Waterfall

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Beau fiddles with his silver thread, leaning against the wall of his room. Johnny had found it in the bottom of storage and given it to Beau, since he’s the only one who uses this type of thread. Usually, he would’ve plopped down and added it to the cross stitch he was already using (it would fit as the snow on the trees perfectly, he could see it already), but something had been bugging him since breakfast. He hasn’t seen Matt at all. He’s nowhere. When Beau asked Johnny if he had seen the younger resident of the spaceship, he just shrugged and shook his head. Beau frowned, setting the thread on his desk. 


The president (Johnny still chuckles when Beau calls himself that) makes his way through the corridors in the lower deck of the ship, down to the room that belongs to one Matt Miller. Beau knocks on the door. “Hey, kiddo, you alright in there?” 


“Uh- uh- yeah, yeah, I’m all good!” Beau frowns at Matt’s voice. He sounds.. Sick? Concern floods through him.


“Matt, I’m coming in,” Beau nearly punches the button next to the door, opening it. As he steps in, looking for where Matt is, he hears the door woosh close behind him. He spots the black haired boy in his bed, clutching his blankets against his chest. Nyte Blayde season two is paused on Matt’s laptop, sitting at the end of his bed.


“I, uh, I don’t have a shirt on,” Matt’s hair sticks to his forehead, and Beau’s eyebrows shoot up. He rushes forward, sitting on the bed next to Matt, feeling his forehead.


“Oh, we’re all men here,” Beau murmurs, watching intently as Matt seems to sink into his bed at that. He doesn’t feel particularly hot. “Matt, are you sick?”


“Like, sick nasty? ‘Cause-”


Matt. ” 


He definitely shrinks down as Beau uses his certified Dad Voice. “No, I’m fine, if I was sick I would’ve told someone.” Beau nods, still not completely believing him. “What did you need?”




“Oh, well, you just kinda came here, did you need something, or..?” Matt looks around, avoiding eye contact, and Beau can tell he’s panicking a little.


“You missed breakfast and lunch, and nobody’s heard a peep out of you since last night, sugar. I came to make sure you’re vibing.” Matt flushes bright red.


“I never should’ve taught you that,” he mutters. Beau chuckles, grinning.


“C’mon sweetie pie, I gotta vibe check you, make sure your vibes aren’t rancid or anything.” Matt straightens up a bit more, starting to laugh, before doubling over. Beau immediately holds his shoulders and leans down with him.


“Are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt?” Beau rubs his back, feeling a bit confused when he feels fabric. He glances back and- oh. Hm.


“I’m, I’m fine, don’t worry, I just, uh…” Matt winces, curling into a bit of a ball.


“Matt, sweetheart, what’s wrong? You can tell me, it’s okay. I won’t tell anyone else if you don’t want me to.” Beau feels him take a deep breath before leaning back up. He’s clearly wincing from the effort.


“Okay, well, this is going to sound super weird, like supremely freaky, well, um,”




“Okay, okay, I’m, uh, I’m kinda on my period? Okay, I swear I’m not making fun of anyone, Aisha would kill me-”




“-and I mean, well, I just kinda, like, I have periods, but I’m a boy too, okay, I know I probably sound like a freak-”




“-but it’s just kind of a thing, like, I’m trans, I think you know what that is, I never payed attention to your press conferences, I’m sorry about that-”




Matt stops talking. He avoids eye contact, staring at Beau’s knees instead. Beau can feel him shaking. Sighing, he pulls his pseudo-son into a hug, rocking them gently.


“It’s okay, Matt. I understand. You’re not a freak, cuz if you’re a freak, then I am too, and you know how much I hate people calling me that word.” Matt seems to freeze in Beau’s arms. “I get it, it sucks, and I know you’re in pain, but if you need any chocolate, or advil, I’m here for you.”


“Wait, wait, back up.” Matt’s face is buried in Beau’s shoulder and his arms have come around to hold Beau back. “What do you mean… you too?” Beau smiles.


“Yeah, dude, haven’t you seen my scars?” Beau leans back from Matt. He unzips the front of his suit, showing off his top scars. Matt’s skin goes a little red as he looks at the scars under Beau’s chest tissue.


“Oh, uh, I guess I just never noticed… I don’t make it a habit to stare at my dad’s chest,” Beau chuckles a bit, zipping his suit back up. He rolls up his left sleeve.


“I’ve got a dick too,” He says, pointing at the big rectangular scar on his forearm. Matt looks a little confused at first before it clicks.


“Oh- uh- oh. ” Beau nods.


“Yeah, I know what you’re feeling. You know, when I was recovering from that surgery, that’s when I confessed to Johnny.” Matt looks up at Beau, stunned.


That’s the surgery you two always talk about?! I thought you like, got shot or something, not…”


“Phalloplasty?” Beau laughs. Matt nods, but he’s also laughing. 


“Yeah, I haven’t been out ‘cause I’ve been dealing with some major… cramps,” Matt puts his hand over his stomach, and Beau notices he’s in a sports bra.


“Good, you’re not binding,” Matt flushes a little at Beau pointing it out. “It’s better not to when you’re, y’know, but I’m sure you’ve got that figured out. I know where the heat packs are stored if you want me to grab one for you?”


“Oh, no, heat doesn’t really help the first day. I tend to just kinda… hang out?”


“Man, how did I not notice that you would hide out in your room for a day….”


“Well, you were probably in the situation for the days that I was, on my… Satan’s waterfall?” Beau laughs, covering his mouth with his hand.


“Yeah, that sounds about right. And I probably was, to be honest. But, still, you haven’t eaten all day, have you?” Matt guiltily shakes his head. “Well, it’s almost dinner time, so I’ll grab an extra plate, and we can sit in here and watch Nyte Blayde, how’s that sound?”


Matt brightens at the suggestion. “Can I paint your nails?”


“Absolutely, only if you let me paint your nails too.” Matt giggles a little and nods. Beau leans over and gives him a kiss on the forehead, grinning a bit at the lipstick mark it left behind. “Okay, I’ll go get dinner. You restart the episode and make us a little blanket nest, alright?” Beau leaves the bedroom as Matt starts to move around pillows. When he makes it into the kitchen, Johnny steps up to him, giving him a small kiss.


“Hey, is Matt doing okay?”


“Yeah, he’s good. We’re gonna eat dinner in his room while watching Nyte Blayde and painting our nails.” Johnny smiles.


“Alright, I’ll be sure to come tuck you guys in if you fall asleep.”