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everyday (more and more)

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Their first date wasn’t exactly going as Sarawat expected it to go.

Since they got together, he thought that the next step would naturally be to ask Tine out on an actual date. What he wasn’t expecting was Tine asking him first.

“Hey, asshole. Do you wanna go to the amusement park with me this weekend? I won tickets from this raffle, and I was wondering if you’d wanna come? It’s okay if you’re busy, I’ll just ask Fong—” Tine said, a touch hesitantly, the tips of his ears turning red.

“What are you saying? Of course I wanna go with you,” Sarawat said, interrupting Tine’s rambling. The other man brightened visibly at this, as if he wasn’t expecting it.

‘Look at you. How could I ever say no?’ Sarawat thought, looking at Tine’s wide smile.

So now here they are. Admittedly, Sarawat hadn’t given this much thought at all. He figured that spending an entire day with Tine is a guaranteed good time for him. What he forgot to take into account was the fact that he was just the tiniest bit afraid of heights.

What made matters worse was that Tine was apparently some kind of adrenaline junkie who wanted to go on all the most extreme rides.

“Let’s go! Apparently, this is the tallest rollercoaster in Thailand,” he says, excitement evident in his voice. The tallest? He balks a bit at this information, but allows Tine to drag him along anyway.

The attendant straps him in, and he thinks, yeah. I’m going to die right here.

“You ready?” Tine asks, and he nods. He could only hope that Tine didn’t notice the way his knuckles were turning white from how hard he was gripping the safety bar.

The ascent was maddeningly slow. When they finally reach the top, his hand finds its way to Tine’s own. Tine smiles at him, and suddenly the ride wasn’t so bad after all.

Then the rollercoaster drops. Sarawat does his best to stifle a scream, and he hears Tine laugh beside him.

His legs feel like jello as soon as they get off the ride, and he uses this as an excuse to sling an arm around Tine’s shoulders.

“Come get your photos here,” he hears an attendant call out. He excuses himself and approaches the stall. He spots their picture among the array, and looks it over.

Tine is looking at him, and he is wearing the most carefree smile Sarawat has ever seen. His hair is blown back by the wind, and he appears to be mid-laugh, eyes crescent and teeth all out. It reminded him a bit of Tine’s smile from that Scrubb concert a year back. He was so beautiful. Sarawat himself looked a bit constipated in the picture, but it doesn’t matter. He happily pays 100 baht for the photo, and heads back to where Tine is.

“Hey, where’d you go?” Tine asks, and he just shrugs in response. Tine raises an eyebrow at him, but lets it go.

“I’m hungry,” he groans in complaint. Sarawat rolls his eyes fondly.

“Aren’t you always, nuisance? Come, let’s find something to eat,” he says, holding his hand out to Tine. He takes it, and laces his fingers with Sarawat. A pleasant warmth settles on his chest and stays there.

After eating, they walk around the park for a while. Tine spots a booth for a dart-throwing game, and drags Wat towards it.

“If you hit bullseye three times, you’ll get that,” the person manning the booth says, pointing at the carrot plushie on top of the pedestal.

“Hey! Let’s play, I want that carrot plushie,” Tine says, grinning.

“If I win you that carrot plushie, will you let me touch your boobs?” he asks half-jokingly. This earns him a light smack on the arm.

“Such a pervert, I swear. Fine! If you win me the plushie, you can touch my boobs,” Tine replies. He looks at Tine for a second, as if to discern if the man was serious. Then, he takes out his wallet and pays the custodian. The man hands him five darts and he takes it.

Sarawat gets a bullseye on his first three tries. Tine’s eyes widen, and his mouth falls open a bit in surprise. He takes the carrot plushie and hands it to Tine, smiling smugly.

“You look so pleased with yourself, it’s annoying,” Tine grumbles at him. He laughs slightly at this.

“Can I touch your boobs now?” he asks, reaching out. The other man rolls his eyes, and hums affirmatively. Sarawat then grabs his left pec, and gives it a light squeeze. He looks at Tine, and a smile uncontrollably breaks out on his face.

“Yeah, okay! Enough of that,” Tine huffs, prying Wat’s hand from his chest. His face is red, causing Sarawat to smile even more.

“So cute,” he says under his breath, shaking his head. 

“What did you say, Wat?” he asks, craning his head closer to Sarawat.

“I said, you’re so cute,” he repeats. Tine averts his gaze, but Sarawat still sees the smile forming on the other man’s face.

“Look, the sun is setting, the fireworks display might be starting soon,” he says, veering the conversation into another topic.

“Oh, you’re right! We should get on the ferris wheel, we’ll see it better there,” Tine says excitedly. The thought of being high up again makes his stomach lurch a little, but he just nods and follows him.

Once they were up there, Sarawat realizes that it’s not so bad. The ride was fairly steady, and the city lights glimmered this high up. It was pretty. He proceeds to look at the person beside him and thinks, still not as pretty as he is, though.

“Look, Wat! It’s starting,” Tine points at the green firework that bursted to their left. He is watching it intently, a small smile on his face. Sarawat then takes his hand on his own. Tine squeezes it slightly, turning to look at him.

“Thanks for coming with me,” he says, hugging the carrot plushie close to his chest with his free arm.

“Like there was even any doubt that I would come with you. There’s no place I’d rather be than beside you, I mean it,” Sarawat replies, moving his head closer to Tine’s. He looks Sarawat in the eyes, then his gaze travels slightly downward to his lips. He is aware of the narrow distance between their faces, but no one has dared to close the gap yet.

“Wat. I wanna kiss you. Can I do that?” he asks, his voice dropping to a whisper. Sarawat’s eyes widen at this, off guard. He manages to nod. Tine lets go of his hand to cup Sarawat’s cheek, and he presses his lips against the other man’s.

The kiss is sweet and unhurried. If he had any doubts about Tine liking him back before, they were all gone now. Tine kissed him earnestly, his hands gentle against his skin. His fingers find its way to Tine’s head, threading through the soft strands of the man’s hair.

Sarawat is well aware that they’re missing the fireworks display, but he can’t bring himself to care. It doesn’t compare to the sparks Tine lights up in his chest when he kisses him, anyway.

Not much has changed since he and Sarawat became boyfriends. It makes sense. After all, they’ve spent the last couple of months pretending to be together.

This is not to say that nothing has changed at all, though.

For one, they spend so much more time together now. They already spent a lot of time with each other prior to them dating, but ever since getting together, they seemed to spend every second of free time they had with the other.

Their schedules are similar enough to allow them to get breakfast together. They go to a spot near Tine’s dorm which serves the best khao tom he’s ever had. After they eat, Sarawat walks Tine to his class before heading off to his own.

“See you later, Tine,” he says, before ruffling his hair.

“Ai, Wat! I just fixed that,” he complains, pouting slightly. Sarawat laughs, shaking his head slightly.

“Keep pouting like that, and I’ll kiss you till you drop,” he says teasingly. He immediately covers his lips and punches Sarawat’s shoulder lightly.

“You’re so annoying, go already,” he tries to sound irritated, but a smile finds its way to his face. 

“Bye, nuisance,” Sarawat says, before planting a soft kiss on his cheek. Wat starts walking away before he has the chance to react. He watches the other man leave, only entering the classroom once he is out of sight.

“I saw that, you know. Bro, you’re so whipped,” Ohm teases, the moment Tine enters the room. He rolls his eyes, but doesn’t deny anything.

And it’s not just mornings. Their friend groups eat lunch together now, merging naturally after he and Sarawat started dating. Boss and Man get along so well with Ohm, Phuak, and Fong, and it’s not really surprising. They all share the same dumb sense of humor and affinity for stupid ideas, after all.

On days when he has cheerleading practice, Sarawat waits for him so they can have dinner together. It was kinda weird at first, because the girls on the team start squealing the moment Sarawat comes into view. It annoyed him initially, because it was his boyfriend they were gushing over, but he got over it pretty quickly. Sarawat brushed them all off, anyway.

He does the same for Sarawat when he has football practice. He likes seeing him play. Sarawat is really attractive, it’s a known fact, but something about him playing makes him even more so. And if he takes his shirt off at any point, well that’s just a bonus. Sarawat really is unfairly gorgeous, he’s willing to admit to himself now.

They also have music club once a week, which now that Sarawat doesn’t have an event to prepare for, he uses to unabashedly flirt with Tine under the guise of teaching. P’Air chastised them at first for it, but has since given up. P’Dim is much too busy flirting with his own boyfriend to pay them any mind.

One might think that that’s about enough time spent with each other, but even after a whole day together, they spend most nights hanging out in either his or Sarawat’s place. Sometimes, they don’t even talk. Tine just does his homework, while Sarawat plucks out some chords in the background.

Tine usually feels unsettled with silences like this, tending to break them even when he has nothing in particular to say. But with Sarawat, it’s different. Comfortable, even. It always feels like that, with him.

They spend so much time together, they might as well be attached at the hip. Tine would be lying if he said he didn’t like it. He really enjoys Sarawat’s company. Perhaps more than anyone else’s, though he wouldn’t say it out loud.

Another thing that changed is that ever since they became boyfriends, Sarawat has transformed into the clingiest, most baby person ever. He tells him so.

“You are such a baby, Wat,” he says to his boyfriend, who’s currently leaning on his shoulder. Sarawat tilts his head up to look at him.

“Your baby,” he replies, grinning up at him. He can’t help but smile back. Adorable, he thinks to himself.

“You’re ridiculous,” is what he says instead. Sarawat just laughs and goes back to nuzzling his shoulder. 

‘Coldhearted ice prince, my ass,’ he thinks to himself, snorting. Team Sarawat’s Wives has no idea.

Sarawat is really touchy, he learns. He’s constantly hanging off him. If he isn’t holding Tine’s hand, his arm is slinged around his shoulder. When they sit next to each other, his hand is almost always on his thigh or on his knee. It’s a lot, in a good way. It makes him feel tingly all over, and a lingering warmth sits under his skin in all the places Wat touches.

He is also very fond of kisses. He always kisses him on the cheek when they have to part. He peppers kisses all over Tine’s face when they’re playfighting and he has him pinned down. And at night, before he leaves Tine’s dorm to go home, he kisses him on the lips to say goodnight.

He thinks that Sarawat must be rubbing off on him, because he’s become more physically affectionate, too. His hand subconsciously seeks Sarawat’s own when they’re walking. When they’re in bed together, he finds himself snuggling closer to the other man. He’s warm, and Tine tends to run cold. That’s what he tells himself. He knows deep down that it’s just a lousy excuse.

Tonight is a quiet night. They both have a big quiz the next day, so they’re trying to get some reading in. They were sprawled out on Sarawat’s bed, with Tine’s head resting on his lap. Wat is poring through his International Relations textbook, and he’s studying an example from the lesson in Criminal Law earlier today.

Sarawat is absentmindedly stroking his hair with his free hand while humming Close by Scrubb. He thinks, even when you’re just humming, you still sound great. How is that fair?

“So, you think I sound great?” Wat asks. He looks up in surprise. Did he say that out loud?

“As if you didn’t already know. Your fans literally scream it at you everyday,” he says, trying to act nonchalant, but a blush creeps up his cheeks nonetheless.

“Hmm, I like it better coming from you,” Sarawat says, brushing a strand of hair away from Tine’s face.

“I think you sound really good all the time,” he confesses softly. “Don’t let it go to your head,” he jokes. Sarawat just smiles fondly at him and bends down to kiss his forehead before going back to reading his book.

It’s absurd, how at home he feels. They’ve only been dating for three weeks, but Tine is already so used to all of this. Sarawat has resumed playing with his hair, and he sighs contentedly.

The moment Sarawat closes the door to his place, Tine pins him to the wall and starts kissing him.

This comes out of nowhere. Sarawat is too stunned to kiss back for a second, but shakes out of it enough to respond.

“Woah, nuisance, where did that come from? How much did you have to drink?” he asks, pulling away from Tine after a while. The other man stares back at him, looking a bit offended.

“What the fuck are you saying? I was the designated driver tonight. I didn’t drink at all. I did that,” he pauses, running his tongue over his lips briefly, “because I wanted to. I’ve wanted to do that since earlier. You looked so good playing on that stage,” he says, voice turning low towards the end of the sentence.

Sarawat performed a set of Scrubb songs tonight at L Co Hol, and all their friends came to support him. Their friends ended up wasted, and they dropped them all off to their dorms before going back to Sarawat’s place.

“Huh. I should really perform Scrubb more often if this is what I get,” he says, smirking. Tine just rolls his eyes at him.

“Are you gonna ask more stupid questions, or can I continue kissing you now?” Sarawat doesn’t answer, opting to press his lips against Tine’s instead.

The kiss is much more heated than all the previous ones they had. Usually, their kisses are soft, languid. Gentle hands and steady breaths. This is nothing like that. One of Tine’s hands is firmly gripping his waist, and the other is pressing on the small of his back. His arms are looped around Tine’s neck, as a bid to get the other closer to him.

They end up on the sofa. Tine is sitting on his lap, still fervently kissing him. Sarawat’s only had two drinks tonight, but the way the other man has been moving against his lips makes him feel positively drunk. He’s surprised he hasn’t passed out yet, because he’s almost sure that all his blood has rushed straight down to his dick.

Tine breaks away from the kiss, and before Sarawat can start complaining, starts to gently bite the helix of his ear. He lightly traces the perimeter of his ear with his lips, before making his way to his jaw. He leaves butterfly kisses there, before settling on his pulse point, and capturing it with his teeth. He sucks on it enough to leave a mark, and an involuntary groan escapes from Sarawat’s lips. Tine hears this and looks absolutely pleased.

Tine shifts a little bit on his lap, then suddenly freezes. He stares at him, a hint of shock on his face.

“You’re hard,” Tine says, almost in surprise.

“Yeah, nuisance, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re literally sitting on top of my dick right now,” he deadpans. The other man turns red at this. Tine’s been kissing him stupid for the past hour, and now he’s shy?

“Can I…?” Tine asks quietly, gesturing to his crotch. His eyes widen exponentially.

“Wait,” he starts hesitantly,  “you don’t have to. It’s fine, we can just keep kissing, we don’t need to go further than that.” He didn’t wanna push Tine to do anything. His realizations about his sexuality were fairly recent, and he was afraid that if they go too fast, he might scare him away.

“I want to, though. Do you not want to? If you don’t, I’ll stop,” he says, voice earnest. He feels equal parts pleased and surprised. Tine wants to?

“No, no! I do. I want to, I really do,” he affirms, looking him straight in the eye. Tine stares back at him for a few seconds, before nodding.

Once given permission, Tine doesn’t hesitate. He unzips Sarawat’s trousers immediately, then hooks his fingers on the waistband of his underwear, pulling it down to his knees. He pauses for a second to take it all in, then takes Sarawat’s dick in his hand.

The moment Tine makes contact, Sarawat’s brain goes blank. His entire body feels so impossibly hot, he briefly wonders if he has spontaneously combusted. He isn’t even fully sure if he is still breathing. Is this actually happening right now? God, if this is a dream, don’t ever wake me up.

His head falls against Tine’s chest, and he shuts his eyes close. He feels heat pooling in his lower stomach, and he knows he’s not gonna last very long. He says as much to Tine.

“Tine,” he pants, “I’m close.” His head is spinning at this point. This can’t be real, he thinks to himself.

Tine responds by planting a kiss on the top of his head. He then swipes his thumb along the slit of his dick, and spreads the precome throughout his shaft, making the glide smoother. He strokes him once, twice, three more times until he finally goes over the edge.

He finally opens his eyes and he sees Tine staring dazedly at him, lips slightly parted. His gaze drifts down, and he sees that a tent has formed in the other man’s pants. Oh.

“Let me take care of that,” he says, and Tine snaps to attention.

“Oh, you’re not really obligated to. It’s okay. I’ll just take a cold shower or something, it’ll be fine,” he replies, averting his gaze.

“I want to. Let me,” he says, cupping his cheek with his palm. Tine draws a deep breath, then nods. “Yeah, okay.”

He moves Tine out of his lap, and onto the sofa. He then makes quick work of taking off his pants along with his underwear. Once it’s off, he takes the time to look at Tine. Pretty wasn’t the first word to come to mind when he thought of dicks, but that’s exactly what Tine’s dick was. Pretty. Just like everything else about him.

“Asshole, stop staring, it’s embarrassing,” Tine complains, snapping him out of his reverie. He laughs a bit, but complies anyway.

He hesitates for a second, unsure how to start, before deciding to just take him in his mouth.

Tine’s hands immediately fly to his head. He grabs his hair in fistfuls, although taking great care not to pull. He was very vocal, mumbling a chorus of shit, oh god, and Sarawat’s name.

Sucking a dick, he learns, is hard work. His jaw is turning sore, and when Tine hits the back of his throat, he gags, tears prickling in his eyes. Tine mutters a quick apology, and tries to pull back. He grips the other man’s hips, holding him into place. No way he’s quitting just because he gagged once.

Besides, Tine is so responsive, it makes it all worth it. His head is thrown back, and his cheeks are flushed pink. His breath comes out in heavy pants, and when he runs his tongue over the head of his dick, he lets out a gasp.

 “Wat. Wat- shit. I’m about to,” he pauses, panting, “you have to… if you don’t. I’m gonna cum in your mouth,” Tine says, voice raw. He takes this as a challenge, and tries to fit even more in. What he can’t, he supplements with his hand. Tine lets out a strangled moan, and spills into his mouth.

It’s hot and bitter, and it’s a lot, but he swallows as much as he could. Once Tine is finished, he detaches from him. He’s a little out of it still, not processing what happened yet. Tine then leans down, and captures his lips in a kiss. It’s soft and gentle, and when they break apart, Sarawat just looks at him.

“What? It’s considered good manners,” he says, grinning. He’s ridiculous, and all Wat could do is laugh.

He feels a little bit of something left over at the edge of his lips, so he wipes it with his thumb, and licks it off. Tine just stares at him, entranced.

“Stay the night?” he asks, meeting his gaze. Tine snaps out of it, and glares at him.

“That was emotional manipulation, and you know it,” he accuses. Wat just bats his eyelashes at him innocently.

(Tine ends up staying the night.)

He should’ve seen it coming, really.

Firstly, he was having the worst day. He had so much shit to do that he wasn’t able to eat with Tine at all today. Then, during rehearsals with Ctrl+S, his guitar strings snapped, making them cut the session short. To top it all off, he overexerted himself at football practice, causing him to twist his ankle. Yeah. Not the best day.

And Tine wasn’t faring any better, either. He woke up late, making him miss the entirety of his first class. They also had a super important quiz earlier that he was almost sure he bombed. And if that wasn’t enough, Team Sarawat’s Wives have been on his ass all day, asking where Sarawat was, and why he wasn’t with him. Ohm said that they’re currently saying that they’ve broken up, that’s why they weren’t seen together at all today. Tine really didn’t have the energy nor the patience to deal with them.

So, they were both cranky. Understandably so. They’re currently at Tine’s place, but no one is really speaking.

When upset, he tends to be sulky. All pouty, and yeah, clingy. He’s had a bad day, and he wants hugs. Sue him. Plus, he hasn’t really seen his boyfriend all day, and he missed him.

“Nuisance,” he calls out, pouting. Tine ignores him. Okay, maybe he didn’t hear him.

“Nuisaaance,” he repeats. Tine ignores him. Again. What the fuck. Is Tine mad at him?

“Hey, why are you ignoring me?” he asks, scooting closer to the other man. Tine finally turns to face him.

“Can you please not do this right now? I’ve had the worst fucking day, and I just don’t have the energy for this right now,” Tine says, uncharacteristically snappy. He raises an eyebrow.

“I had a bad day, too? My bad for wanting a bit of my boyfriend’s attention then, especially since I hadn’t seen you all day,” he shoots back.

“Well, that’s not exactly my fault, is it? It’s not a big deal, Wat. Stop being so goddamn needy for once,” he says, voice rising slightly. A sharp pain shoots up his chest at Tine’s words.

“Okay, I see. You know what? Maybe I am needy. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the only one who wants your attention. I’m tired of it. I’m just gonna go,” he says, brows furrowed. He can feel tears beginning to well up in his eyes, but he harshly blinks them back. He stands up and picks up his things.

He hears Tine calling out his name as he goes out the door, but he doesn’t look back.

It’s been three days since they last talked. He hates it. He’s already gotten so used to being with Tine all the time, and now that he’s not, he feels hollow. He misses Tine so badly, his throat tightens just thinking about him.

What if Tine wants to break up with him? What if during the three days that they’ve not talked, he realizes that he likes his life much better when Sarawat isn’t around? His heart throbs painfully at the thought.

That was one of the reasons why he hasn’t reached out to talk to Tine first. He is afraid that if he does, he won’t like what he has to say. He spent so long looking for him, his dream boy, his angel. He doesn’t want to lose him. He couldn’t.

He has been out of it since they fought. Man and Boss notices, and they confront him about it during a break in their football practice.

“Wat,” Man starts carefully, “are you okay?” He sighs in response.

“Yeah, bro. You haven’t been talking for days now. I mean, you’ve always been quiet, but not like this. Especially not since, well,” Boss says, drifting off. Not since Tine goes unsaid.

“We fought. I think we might be breaking up,” he says, voice cracking near the end. This is the first time he’s ever said that out loud, and it makes it all too real.

“What? We guessed that you two fought, but… a breakup? Why do you think so?” Man asks.

“I don’t know, we haven’t really talked in three days. Maybe he decided he doesn’t want to date me anymore,” he says, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. He blinks them back, and hugs his knees close to his chest.

“Hey, don’t jump into conclusions that quickly. Maybe he’s just waiting for things to cool down. Or maybe he’s just busy. Either way, I don’t think he’s gonna break up with you. Don’t overthink it, okay?” his friend says, in an effort to console him. Boss nods beside them, patting Sarawat on the back.

“Yeah, Wat. It’ll be fine, you’ll see,” they both smile at him, and he attempts to smile back, but it turns into a grimace. They go back to the field, but the weight on Sarawat’s chest remains.

They finish practice, and he’s sitting on the bench packing up his things when he sees Tine approaching him. He shuts his eyes close for a second, bracing himself for what’s about to come.

“Wat. Can we talk?” His voice is quiet, and he can’t quite meet Sarawat’s eyes. He nods, and Tine sits beside him.

“Look, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I said, I’m sorry for not talking to you for three days, I’m so sorry for everything. Please don’t leave me,” he says shakily. He opens his mouth to respond, but Tine stops him.

“Wait, just. Let me say this, okay? Please,” he pleads. He takes Sarawat’s silence as a sign to continue.

“The thing you said three days ago? About me not wanting your attention? It’s not true, I do. I hated these past few days so much, I couldn’t eat, I barely slept, every time I looked beside me, I’d think you were there, but you weren’t. I hated it. You are so, so important to me, Wat. I hate that I ever made you think otherwise, but I promise I will make it up to you,” his voice choking up into a sob, “please. Don’t break up with me.” He looks up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears. 

The sight makes Sarawat’s chest ache, and he can’t take it anymore. He moves closer to Tine, and pulls him into an embrace.

“Nuisance. I would never, ever break up with you,” he whispers against his ear. “Honestly? I thought you were gonna break up with me,” he confesses.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles against Sarawat’s shoulder. He brings his hand up to the other man’s head, and starts stroking his hair.

“It’s okay. We’re okay. I’m sorry, too. I should’ve been more understanding. Next time you have a bad day, you should talk to me. You shouldn’t bottle it all up. You know I’ll listen,” he says.

“Okay,” he replies, burrowing even more into Sarawat’s neck. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you so much, too,” he says, pressing a kiss on Tine’s temple.

They stay in each other’s arms for a while, savoring the embrace and making up for lost time.

Sarawat wakes up in Tine’s bed. The other man was still fast asleep beside him, chest rising and falling with every breath. The early morning sun shines a soft, golden halo around him, and he looks absolutely ethereal. He was so beautiful like this, that Sarawat’s chest aches just looking at him. He realizes he never wants to wake up any other way.

He makes a mental note to start looking for a bigger apartment as soon as possible.