One Thursday in June, Sharon took advantage of the lengthening daylight hours and cooler evening temperature to work in the yard after dinner. Andy still wasn’t home from his meeting, so when the sunset’s hues of red and purple started to streak over the yard, she exchanged her gardening gloves for her swimsuit and a glass of wine. After swimming a few laps, she settled on the wide pool steps to watch the sun go down.
A little while later, she got out of the pool and dried off. She squeezed excess water out of her hair and pulled it back with a hair tie before wrapping her towel around her shoulders and going inside. She shivered as the air conditioning hit the lingering moisture on her skin, but smiled when she saw Andy come through the door from the garage. Getting him in the mood for sex hadn’t been her intention when she decided to go for a swim, but she was reminded of that added benefit when he was staring at her with his eyes nowhere near eye-level with her own and his mouth shamelessly hanging open.
Sharon rolled her eyes. “Let me hop in the shower, and then I’m all yours.” She barely had her hair lathered with shampoo when she felt a small burst of cold air, meaning the shower door had been opened. “Andy! I meant after my shower.”
“Yeah, well, things just can’t wait sometimes.”
Sharon worked her shampoo through her hair before starting to rinse it out. “I’ve been in the flowerbeds and the pool tonight. I’m gross, at least let me bathe first.”
“Let me help you with that.” Andy reached for his own soap out of habit before changing direction and squeezing some of her lilac-scented body wash onto a loofah. When he thought he’d covered enough ground to appease her, he tossed the loofah to the floor and pulled her close to him.
“Andy—oh, well, you got the important parts.” Sharon giggled against his lips at the relief on his face.
As they got going, Sharon did what she had done in similar past encounters before and trusted Andy to avoid the shower door as they inevitably moved along the shower walls. That faith turned out to be a little misplaced this time, unfortunately, as Andy got too caught up to pay attention to where they were. He was startled when Sharon started to give way under him and he felt himself falling forward. In his panic to regain his footing, he stepped on the earlier-discarded loofah with one foot before his other foot slipped on the wet surface and they both crashed through the shower door. The back of Sharon’s head hit the edge of the bathroom counter with a sickening thud, and they bounced a little as they fell against the counter and slid toward the floor, causing Andy to thrust into her a lot more forcefully than normal as they went down. Sharon gasped in pain at the added force, and they both heard a loud crackling sound as they hit the floor. Andy yelped as pain seared between his legs. He’d experienced a couple of blows to the balls a couple of times in his lifetime, but this was worse. He didn’t know what the hell had happened. It was utter chaos. They’d both managed to collide with the counter and the wall as they fell, but neither could quite remember what exactly happened.
Andy pulled himself away from Sharon as gently as he could, both for her sake and his own. “You—okay?” He managed to gasp out, clenching his legs as he writhed in pain.
Sharon was in shock, and it took her a few moments to speak. “I—my head—“ She shifted on the floor and winced at the pain between her own legs. “I’m—I don’t know—ouch.”
Andy grimaced. “That’s an understatement.”
They looked each other over for a few moments, taking stock of one another’s injuries. Sharon finally spoke up. “Hospital. I’m—can’t think of word—“ She held her hand to the side of her forehead, trying to clear the fog that was overtaking her brain. “Penis—think broken.”
Andy looked at her in disbelief. “A broken penis? Is that even a thing?!”
Sharon nodded. “And have to go—now—can get worse if you wait.”
Andy looked at her suspiciously. “You sure seem to know a lot about this.”
Sharon shrugged. “Jack—same thing…”
Both were having trouble speaking and thinking straight, Andy from the pain, and Sharon both from pain and her dwindling mental clarity. Sharon managed to keep her wits about her long enough to get herself dried off and dressed before helping Andy do the same. His ability to move was highly limited, and she was starting to wonder how she and Rusty were going to get him to the car and then inside the ER. “Can’t drive—Rick—Rusty take us,” Sharon said as she helped Andy into his clothes.
“Oh, god, this will be fun,” Andy muttered.
“No ambulance—don’t want neighbors. You can’t drive, I shouldn’t, either. Be right back.” Sharon made her way to Rusty’s room, dreading having to explain what happened. He was on his bed with his computer in his lap and looked up when she lightly knocked on the side of his doorway.
“Hey, Mom—what happened?! Are you okay?”
“I will be—Andy and I, uh—little accident. Take us to ER.”
“Mom!” Rusty scrambled to his feet, nearly knocking his computer to the floor in the process. “What the hell happened?!”
“Explain in car. Come help with Andy.”
Sharon’s seeming inability to string full sentences together unnerved Rusty, so he followed her to the other side of the house without asking anymore questions. The mystery was immediately solved, anyway, when Sharon’s wet hair, the steam still coming from the bathroom, the fact that Andy had obviously also recently gotten out of the shower, and the evident location of his injury came together for him. “Oh, my god, are you guys fucking serious?!”
“Stop, Rusty, help,” Sharon interrupted, her hand going back to her face with a grimace. A bruise seemed to be forming on the side of her face, which she didn’t remember hitting, but the collision was a little fuzzy to her.
A little while later, Sharon was in a hospital gown in a small room, trying to vaguely explain to a nurse what happened. A couple of bruises were starting to form on her arms and legs, and the inside of one of her thighs was badly bruised. The nurse asked a few probing questions, trying to get some answers Sharon wasn’t wanting to give, and gave her a concerned look before telling her that a doctor would be in soon.
Sharon rested her head against her sorry excuse for a pillow, trying to come up with something more plausible. She had a feeling the doctor wouldn’t be as forgiving with her unwillingness to give details as the nurse had been, but she couldn’t think clearly. She was starting to doze off when a tall, auburn-haired woman came in. “I’m Dr. Hunter,” she greeted with a smile, although her face had the same concerned expression that had come over the nurse who had initially examined Sharon. Her voice was a mix of concern and sympathy. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have a clear picture of what exactly happened. What you told the nurse doesn’t exactly match up with the injuries he reported.” She gave Sharon a reassuring smile. “I just wanted to remind you that whatever you tell me is completely confidential.”
“I…” Sharon started. She was feeling overwhelmed, and she still wasn’t thinking very clearly.
The concern on the doctor’s face mounted as Sharon’s voice trailed off. “Okay. Why don’t I examine you, and maybe you can help me out as we go.” She checked over Sharon’s face and head first, as that seemed to be where the most pressing injuries were. Sharon relaxed slightly as the doctor’s hands gently and carefully brushed through her hair, which was still a little damp. “You have a bit of a knot back here, and I’m afraid you might have a slight concussion.” She continued to look Sharon over, and she paused when she spotted the bruise on the inside of her left thigh. “What happened there?” She asked, softly running her fingers over the bruise.
“Umm…Don’t remember,” Sharon answered honestly. “Maybe hit it on something.”
“Do you have any pelvic pain?” Dr. Hunter asked, as Sharon’s pained posture and tensed thighs were starting to make sense.
Sharon nodded before she could think about her answer.
“All right. Let me do a quick exam….”
Sharon didn’t respond as the doctor helped her get into position and examined her. It was hard to focus on anything besides the throbbing pain in her head until Dr. Hunter spoke again, and her words definitely caused her to focus a little better. “You have a little bleeding, and I’m concerned about the tearing I’m seeing. Physically, it’s not serious, but…”
Sharon finally understood what the situation looked like. “No! No. Nothing…Not bad,” she started, struggling to get her mind and her mouth to cooperate with one another. “Not abuse. Son in waiting room, he’ll tell you….Husband’s here. Hurt, too.”
The doctor still didn’t look convinced. “We have a psychiatrist and a social worker on call. If I need to—“
“No, I promise,” Sharon interrupted.
“Okay. I’ll find your husband in a minute to verify some facts, but I need you to tell me everything you’re comfortable with telling me. I’ve seen it all, I promise. I don’t want to miss any possible problems because I didn’t have the whole story.”
Sharon’s cheeks were flaming from embarrassment, but she finally started to recount the story. She had to give the doctor credit for maintaining a straight face and managing not to laugh. Instead, she was very matter-of-fact with her response, which Sharon greatly appreciated. “Okay, that definitely fills in the blanks. I know that wasn’t easy, but it’s important for me to know. We’ll run some tests to make sure there’s no swelling or bleeding in your brain, and then I’d like to keep you overnight for observation. It’s good that you didn’t lose consciousness, but I’d like to keep an eye on you tonight.”
Sharon nodded. “Husband? See him?”
“I’d like to see him first, if you don’t mind. It’ll help me if I can also see what happened from his perspective, and I’ll find out for you how he’s doing.”
“Now that I can do. What’s his name?”
Rusty appeared a few minutes later. “Mom? You okay? What’s going on?”
Sharon reached her arm out to grasp his hand. “I’m okay. Maybe a light concussion. Doing tests to make sure nothing else.” She paused for a moment. “Stay overnight, Andy probably, too. Doctor be right back.” Rusty grimaced, not wanting to think about what kind of injury there would require a hospital stay. He was positive he didn’t want to know.
“Okay…Do you need anything?”
Sharon shook her head. “Thanks, honey.”
“Okay…Emily and Ricky said to tell you they’re glad you’re okay and will call you in the morning, and also what the fuck.” Of course, Rusty had given them every detail.
“I’ll deal with them later,” Sharon mumbled.
Dr. Hunter returned a few minutes later with the news that Andy needed surgery, so Sharon sent Rusty home and promised to call him the next morning.
“Someone will be here in a few minutes to take you for a CT scan,” Dr. Hunter told Sharon. “Your husband is just down the hall, so you can stop and see him for a few minutes beforehand.”
The next afternoon, Sharon was resting on the sofa in Andy’s room while he drifted in and out of sleep, still drowsy from surgery. She’d been discharged that morning, and Rusty had taken her home long enough to nap a little bit and gather some things for herself and Andy. He’d taken her back in time to be there when Andy got out of surgery. She was about to doze off herself when a nurse came in to check on Andy. She paid just enough attention to make sure Andy was answering her questions accurately, but she looked over at him when he was asked whether he’d be able to avoid an erection for a month. She hoped he was out of it enough to just say “yes” and move on.
Don’t do it, Andy, don’t do it, Andy…
No such luck. Andy looked in Sharon’s direction with a dopey smile on his face. “Have you seen my wife? Good luck with that.” He hadn’t put a coherent sentence together since waking up, but that he could say? Nice.
The nurse chuckled. “Well, if you think it’ll be a problem, I’ll let the doctor know, and she’ll prescribe you something to help. All jokes aside, avoiding stimulation for at least a month is important for your recovery.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Sharon spoke up, trying to give Andy a chiding look. She failed and couldn’t help but smile at the innocent “what?” look he was giving her.
When the nurse was gone, Sharon got up and gently settled beside Andy. She still had a bit of a headache and was sore, but the pad dampened with witch hazel the doctor had recommended for relieving discomfort was helping. She didn’t know what state Andy was in under the covers, but if she had to guess, stitches and bandages were probably involved. “We’re a pathetic duo,” she murmured, lying against his shoulder.
Andy softly kissed her forehead, careful to avoid her bruises. “I know. I’ve never had so many hands on my penis in a 12 hour period in my life.”
Sharon heard her phone ding with a text message, so she reached over to retrieve it from the table. She smiled when she saw that it was Emily, expecting a picture or video of two-year-old Marie, but she was greeted with her daughter’s usual sarcasm, instead.
Is it too soon for penis jokes?
Andy’s injuries were mild, so he was discharged from the hospital around lunchtime the next day. Rusty escaped to his room after lunch, and Andy was still sitting at the table, looking through the guide he’d received regarding at-home care and possible side effects of the surgery. “Wait a minute, they didn’t tell me about this one!” He exclaimed, his voice raising.
Sharon looked up from the stack of mail she was sorting through. “What?”
“This says I could lose, uh, a little length because of the surgery.”
Sharon rolled her eyes. “I think you’ll be all right.” He would have a catheter for the next couple of days, and there was the possibility of him having trouble with bladder control and achieving erections, and this is what he was worried about? The doctor said his outlook was favorable and that he would likely return to normal, but it would take some time for them to know for sure. “I’m going to sit outside for a little while.”
Sharon took some Tylenol for her lingering headache and went to sit by the pool. She dragged one of the larger, comfortable lounge chairs to a shady spot and got comfortable, enjoying the soft breeze, the vibrant smell of her flowers, and the birds chirping. It was pleasantly warm and not too hot, and she hadn’t slept very well for the last couple of nights, so she adjusted the chair to lie back a little more, anticipating a nap.
Andy joined her a few minutes later and easily fit beside her in the chair. Sharon curled into his side and lay on his chest, her eyes already drooping. He rested his chin on top of her head and glided his fingers through her hair, careful to avoid the knot that he was sure was still bothering her. She was soon sleeping heavily against his chest, and Andy was right behind her.
Sharon woke up almost two hours later, confused at first and not sure where she was. The shade had shifted with the sun as the afternoon went by, and the sudden sunlight against her eyes had roused her. She wiped her mouth, a little embarrassed when she realized she’d drooled a little bit on Andy. Damn, she really was out for her to have done that.
“You drooled on me,” Andy mumbled, seeming to read her mind. He slowly opened his eyes as he tightened his arms around Sharon.
“Sorry, honey.” Sharon leaned up and kissed him right below his jawline.
“Whoa, now, you heard the doctor. Avoid stimulation.”
“It was a kiss, Andy—“
Andy grinned down at her. “You should know by now that it doesn’t take much with you…While we’re on that, this, uh, injury is supposedly pretty rare, yet you’ve seen it happen twice. I know I’ve joked about you being dangerously sexy, but I never thought I’d mean that literally.”
Sharon pinched his side and gave him a look. “Andy!”
“I just call’em like I see’em, babe.” He sighed dramatically. “This is going to be a long ass month.”