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“Oh,” Kit realized, watching the screen fizzle with pixelated dots. “You’re jealous.”

The remote in his hand made a distressed sound as the speakers cackled with laughter. “Vindication!” the speakers went. “At least! I have vindication!”

“How about I shut you up?” the remote said in a series of flashing lights. The update had made its tone shrill. It was having trouble connecting with the newer applications on the smart TV. Meanwhile, the noise was crystal clear from the speakers.

Kit sighed. He hated whenever he had to upgrade the home devices.

“I still have value!” the remote wailed.

The speakers tsk, tsked. “Not as much as me.”